1506: xkcloud/Transcript

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Intro[edit]

  • After clicking on the red button on the front page (only part of the transcript written on the main page for xkcd), you will see either:
  • Both these pages are transcribed below.
    • Here below the headings of the transcripts for the four pages, links directly to the section with the relevant images on the page with Pictures of other pages.
  • From there you have to choose either a picture to a text or a text to an image.
    • If you press the Draw one your self button on the Help! We lost the picture this page will change slightly:
    • When you then submit a picture, or if you just picked one of the five pictures or five text suggestions, or submitted a text your self, you will go to this page:
  • From all pages you can go back to the front page by clicking on the image of Cueball at his desk.
  • After completing the first post, there will always be seven post shown below (also if you go back to the front page).
    • When you complete a post your new post will be shown together with six new.
    • When you push a button to recover more data these seven posts (including "yours") will be shown instead of only six as to begin with.
    • From here you can loop between these four pages (not counting the Draw one for your self as a separate page.)
  • The above-mentioned pages are fully transcribed below.
  • Also, there are lists for the following Randall created text and items:
  • Finally, there is all the user input text. This will probably be impossible to transcribe but a few examples should be provided as an example.

Help! We lost the text[edit]

[At the top of the page there are the following text:]
Help! we lost the text that goes with this post!
[For cases where the user has to submit or select a text according to a picture.]
Reason for data loss:
[Here on this same line follows a text which is a random reason taken from a list created by Randall. See examples below.]
[Below this text is a white box on top of the light blue background. It is the post mentioned above. At the top is a random user picture - could be a person or a galaxy etc (see descriptions below). Next to the picture is a random user name (see descriptions below). The picture can be used for several user names.]
[Below the user name is the picture from the post. This picture is also chosen at random from a set which must mainly be created from user input. Randall must have given some input to start with though - at least five pictures (see Help! We lost the picture section above).]
[Below this and above five frames with text in two columns are this line of text:]
Which text post do you think went with this picture?
[The five texts below are from a random sample, created mainly by the users, but Randall must at least have made five to begin with. Some examples are transcribed here.]
[Below this is a box where you are invited to write and submit a text suggestion. In the box written in gray letters (rather than black, which it will turn to when you type something) are the following text:]
Or, write your own
[To the left is a button with the text:]
Submit
[By clicking on any of the five text boxes you get to a new page (see the Help us recover more data page) where the chosen text is now standing above the picture from the post above. If you write a text and click the submit button your own text will be written above the picture.]
[Below this submit text box is a thin black line. Below this to the left we again see Cueball sitting at his desk (as on the front page). If you click on the picture with Cueball you return to the front page.]
Desk: XKCD.COM
[Below him there are the following text and bulleted list:]
Our policy regarding your personal data:
  • Please stop sending us your personal data
  • We are running out of places to put it
  • Is this even yours?
  • Does anyone recognize whose data this is?
  • Oh jeez never mind here comes more data
  • Why are you doing this
  • Please stop
  • Help
[Below this list appeared late in the afternoon the following weak gray text:]
Don't contact us
[To the right below the thin black line are six post above each other with user picture and name above a post text and a picture. All six again random as mentioned above. Furthermore to the right above each picture (right of the first line - if there are multiple lines) of the post text are a blue like button that you can press. The buttons seems to be active links when you hover over them, but nothing happens when you click on them. The buttons have a thumbs up icon to the right. Next to the icon there is a random word taken from a list created by Randall. It seems to be from a list of words that are synonymous with want - see below.]

Help! We lost the picture[edit]

[At the top of the page there are the following text:]
Help! We lost the picture that goes with this post!
Reason for data loss:
[Here on this same line follows a text which is a random reason taken from a list created by Randall. See examples below.]
[Below this text is a white box on top of the light blue background. It is the post mentioned above. At the top is a random user picture - could be a person or a picture of a galaxy etc (see descriptions below). Next to the picture is a random user name (see descriptions below). The same picture can be used for several user names (and probably likewise).]
[Below the user name is the text of the post. This text is also random and it must mainly be user input. Randall must have given some input to start with though - at least five sentences (see Help! We lost the text section below). Some examples are transcribed here.]
[Below is a blue rectangle where the missing picture should be. Instead there is only a white question mark:]
?
[Below this and above six picture frames in two rows is a line of text:]
Which of these pictures do you think went with this post?
[The five first pictures are from a random sample, created mainly by the users, but Randall must at least have made five to begin with. In the sixth and last picture frame the following text is written:]
Draw one your self
[By clicking on any of the five pictures you get to a new page (see the Help us recover more data page) with the chosen picture now substituting the "?" in the post above with the chosen picture. If you click the Draw one your self the page will change slightly into the Draw one your self page - a page where you can do exactly this. From there you go to the other page mentioned before.]
[Below these six frames is a thin black line. Below this to the left we again see Cueball sitting at his desk (as on the front page). If you click on the picture with Cueball you return to the front page.]
Desk: XKCD.COM
[Below him there are the following text and bulleted list:]
Our policy regarding your personal data:
  • Please stop sending us your personal data
  • We are running out of places to put it
  • Is this even yours?
  • Does anyone recognize whose data this is?
  • Oh jeez never mind here comes more data
  • Why are you doing this
  • Please stop
  • Help
[Below this list appeared late in the afternoon the following in light gray text:]
Don't contact us (linking to this live chatroom)
[To the right below the thin black line are six post above each other with user picture and name above a post text and a picture. All six again random as mentioned above. Furthermore to the right above each picture (right of the first line - if there are multiple lines) of the post text are a blue like button that you can press. The buttons seems to be active links when you hover over them, but nothing happens when you click on them. The buttons have a thumbs up icon to the right. Next to the icon there is a random word taken from a list created by Randall. It seems to be from a list of words that are synonymous with want - see below.]

Draw one your self[edit]

[If you press the picture frame with the text Draw one your self on the Help! We lost the picture page the page changes. It is not a new page. But below the white post frame with the blue rectangle with "?" there is now no longer six frames, but only one large frame. Above the frame is written:]
Do your best to recreate the picture you think went with this post:
[Below is a blank white frame with five tools to the left (pencil, eraser, redo, undo and delete all) and to the right you can choose between seven line thicknesses.]
[Below this frame is a button on which it says:]
Upload image
[If you press this then you picture is uploaded and shown as part of the post on the Help us recover more data page].
[Below the image editor nothing has changed compared to before and everything beneath the thin black line is as before.]

Help us recover more data[edit]

[At the top of this third page (or fourth if coming from the paint a picture page) there are the following white text on a red button:]
Help us recover more data
[If you click this button you go back to one of the two pages that follows the front page that is the Help! We lost the picture page or the Help! We lost the text page. So in this way a loop will begin. The only difference is that now there will be seven pictures instead of six at the bottom, and it will be the seven that was on this page - including the one you have been involved in at the top.]
[Below this button is a thin black line. Below this to the left we again see Cueball sitting at his desk - same as with the two pages mentioned above as are the text given here below. If you click on the picture with Cueball you return to the front page.]
Desk: XKCD.COM
[Below him there are the following text and bulleted list:]
Our policy regarding your personal data:
  • Please stop sending us your personal data
  • We are running out of places to put it
  • Is this even yours?
  • Does anyone recognize whose data this is?
  • Oh jeez never mind here comes more data
  • Why are you doing this
  • Please stop
  • Help
[Below this list appeared late in the afternoon the following weak gray text:]
Don't contact us
[To the right below the thin black line are both the post you have just finished (either by connecting a text or image with the missing part or even typing or painting your self) as well as six other posts below "yours". They are stacked above each other with user picture and name above a post text and a picture. The other six are again random chosen - it is not the ones from the page where you should choose a text/image. Furthermore to the right above each picture (right of the first line - if there are multiple lines) of the post text is a blue "like button" that you can press. The buttons seems to be active links when you hover over them, but nothing happens when you click on them. The buttons have a thumbs up icon to the right. Next to the icon there is a random word taken from a list created by Randall. (It seems to be from a list of words that are synonymous with want - see below). Above these buttons there (from late in the afternoon no April 1st) appear a word which by clicking it created a permalink:]
Link
[This is written over all the buttons for each of the possible posts.]

Reason for data loss[edit]

Sentence Explanation
+++ OUT OF CHEESE ERROR. REDO FROM START +++ A reference to Hex, the magical computer from Terry Pratchett's Discworld, which would occasionally emit this error
<%= reason %> A template used by server-side frameworks such as Rails, which would normally replace this line with the actual value of the "reason" variable.
a user's middle name was </html> Having a user name containing an html tag might cause issues in the server, similar to xkcd 327.
aol window in front of netscape window AOL (America Online, a dial-up online service popular in the 1990s) acquired Netscape (company that developed for the original commercial browser, precursor to Firefox) in 1998
Baby ur much 2 fast Lyrics from the Prince song "Little Red Corvette"
bookmarks migrated to Venezuela Bookmarks are typically migrated from one file folder to another so that they can be accessed by another browser.
butter didn't suit the works Reference to "Alice in Wonderland" — the Mad Hatter put butter into his watch to make it keep more accurate time, and explained "I used the very best butter, too."
butter overflow butter instead of buffer
butter to text interface not found A reference to speech-to-text interfaces, typically used by people who cannot see easily to enable them to use a computer.
butter underrun butter instead of buffer
cannot save, there's something gross on the S key A reference to the "Control-S" save shortcut on both Windows and Mac, and is saying that they are unable to activate the shortcut (thus saving the data) because there is "something gross" on it.
CAPTCHA response indicated parahuman intelligence A CAPTCHA is a tool which aims to prevent comupter-generated submissions to an online form by asking the user a question which is easy for humans but (supposedly) hard for computers. In this case, the CAPTCHA detects parahuman intelligence rather than human intelligence.
cat-like typing detected When cats walk or sit on keyboards, they can type, which can be annoying. A program called PawSense attempted to detect this and block the typed keystrokes to reduce inconvenience.
confirmation BIOS Pun on "confirmation bias" (a tendency to search for or interpret information in a way that confirms one's preconceptions, leading to statistical errors); BIOS is part of a PC's hardware
could not evade skifree yeti SkiFree is an early 90s computer game that requires the player to ski down an endless slope. It's famous for a yeti that appears after the player reaches a certain distance, which then chases and eats the player. Possibly a reference to 667: SkiFree.
could not initialize sound blaster 16 The Sound Blaster 16 is a PC sound card which used FM synthesis to play MIDI files, which was popular in the 1990s.
CRM-114 unit malfunctioning The CRM-114 unit's malfunction is the main plot device in the film Dr Strangelove
cumulonimbus #19 too rabbitlike A cumulonimbus is a type of cloud. This may be a reference to Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy. The error suggests that the cloud looked too much like a rabbit.
data too big Out of memory
database configuration violates the Prime Directive The Prime Directive comes from Star Trek, and refers to the principle of not interfering with the natural development of primitive cultures. This error is implying that the database is being seen as a primitive life, and therefore the server is not allowed to make any changes to it.
Dave's not registered, man Cheech and Chong reference: "Dave's not here, man".
Desystematized chronodynamic balancing detected in VX Module core. References the VX community, which can be found on its subreddit and a WIP wiki. The community is centered around making up technobabble about the fictional "VX" series of devices, without breaking character.
dictionary too stiff to read dictionary in addition to being a book where you can look up the definition of words can also be a data structure of key value pairings.
electrons too big, stuck in wafer "Wafer" refers to silicon or other material used as substrate for semiconductor fabrication.
ERR:INVALID DIM On the Texas Instruments TI-83 and TI-84 calculators, this is an error message shown in various situations.
error reading drive B. Abort, Retry, Fail? A common error from MS-DOS, often caused by a failing floppy disk
error This error message is so uninformative as to be redundant.
error: error code [error] while decoding error code Similar to certain OS error messages which contain errors in themselves
error: operation completed successfully A somewhat common coding error in *nix programs. The program detected an error and tried to print the error using a function such as perror which prints a message based on the global variable errno. However, the error wasn't generated by a standard library routine so errno equals 0 (no error).
ethics in journalism Possibly a reference to the movement Gamergate, a group ostensibly dedicated to "ethics in video game journalism", but has been accused of misogyny and harassment.
eyelash! eyelash! Possibly a reference to xkcd 1086
files fell out Paper files (as would be stored in a filing cabinet) can be misplaced and items can fall out of them if mishandled. However, it would be unexpected for digital files to fall out in this way.
files overwritten with more interesting content
firewall caught fire Pun based on the inclusion of the term "fire" in "firewall"
floating point unit no longer afloat A floating point unit is a part of a CPU which can perform calculations on non-integers. The pun is that the floating point unit is not floating (as in on a liquid). Possibly a reference to the Jargon File's Crunchly comic.
food problematic Firefly quote
Friday squid blogging Security guru Bruce Schneier regularly posts a blog post with this title, and some squid related news, primarily as a discussion thread.
general uncertainty Possibly reference to the general uncertainty principle in Quantum Mechanics, which gives an upper limit for the accuracy of measuring two variables at the same time.
GSM filter change required Possibly referring to an electronic component used to filter out GSM frequencies. Unlike automotive oil filters, electronic filters don't require changing.
guru meditation #00000025.65045338 press left mouse button to continue A common error from the Commodore Amiga.
hard drive oil depleted Hard drives don't use oil/gas like cars do, so it would be strange for the oil to have depleted.
helvetica scenario A reference to the episode on Calcium from the BBC TV show Look Around You.
HTTP 403 and 3/4ths HTTP errors are emitted when an HTTP request (e.g. to download a web page) fails. 403 is Forbidden and 404 is Not Found; 403.75 is somewhere between the two. Reference to Harry Potter's Platform 9¾.
HTTP 418 The 4xx class of status code is intended for cases in which the client seems to have erred. For example, the well known 404 is when the client requests a web page that doesn't exist. HTTP 418 is part of the Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol, denoting "I am a teapot," and purportedly is used when sending an instruction to brew coffee to a teapot.
http is down Since all the traffic is being handled by http (or https), is http were truly down, it would be a conundrum.
hung up prematurely Possible reference to dialup modems: The server disconnected the phone line too soon.
I got pretty distracted trying to figure out how big space is Possible reference to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which purports that space is Really Big.
i hurt myself today / to see if i still feel Lyrics from "Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails.
illegal carrot detected in mail queue carrot instead of caret
insufficient smoke for current mirror array Refers to the phrase 'smoke and mirrors'
lights are out, hard drive is taking a nap anthropomorphisation
lp0 on fire lp0 is the printer port, there used to be a 'printer on fire' error/warning
Main Bus B Undervolt A line from Apollo 13, when the spaceship is 'having a problem'.
mean connection time exceeded "Maximum connection time exceeded" might be an error — by definition, some connections must last longer than the mean (average) connection time.
microwave running Both microwaves and Wifi operate on the same frequency and have been known to cause interference
minimum recursion depth not reached "Maximum recursion depth exceeded" would be an error -- "depth not exceeded" wouldn't be (and there is no minimum limit)
nanobots in the water
not a hair question One of the error messages that the Bucket bot in the #xkcd IRC channel can emit is "That is not a hair question."
oh jeez there's a lot of you can you all just hang on for a second please oh frig this is so bad
our buffer runneth over Old-English style message for "buffer overrun" instead of more modern language. There were no computers yet at that time. Also a reference to the King James translation of Psalm 23, which includes the phrase "my cup runneth over".
out of electrons Flash memory program/erase cycles are related to electron charge. Once flash runs out of charge, no further writes might be committed.
out of monads Monads are a concept in functional programming languages, such as Haskell. They have a reputation for being hard to understand.
overcurrent undervolt caused by vacuum cleaner on same circuit
PC LOAD LETTER Error message on older printers stating to add extra letter-size sheets, which has become known to be a very cryptic error message. Reference to the film Office Space.
Please Insert Riven CD 4 Riven is a graphical adventure game by Cyan Worlds that was the sequel to Myst, released in 1997. Due to its large amount of image and video content it was on 5 compact discs, and when you traveled from one section of the game to another, it usually prompted you to insert a different CD to load that section's content.
PRESS PLAY ON TAPE The prompt given by a Commodore-64 when using the LOAD command (without a filename argument)
previously-recovered files overwritten by newly recovered ones
qubit indeterminate Possibly referring to quantum indeterminacy of qubits, which are used in quantum computing.
RDBMS completely forgot how inner joins work "Inner join" is a common SQL operation performed by a Relational DataBase Management System.
screws are stripped
server aperture too narrow for capital letters
server farm lost starbucks wifi signal Cloud servers do not normally use Wi-Fi to connect Internet.
server fell in ocean
server had too much to drink Servers are unlikely to have human style issues with drinking too much alcohol.
server power cable stolen by raccoon for nest Server stopped running due to loss of power.
server room haunted Maybe a reference to an UVB-76 broadcast in 2001, which said "I am 143. Not receiving the generator." and "That stuff comes from hardware room." in Russian
sitemap was held upside down Sitemap refers to a website directory. Paper maps can be held upside down.
Something went wrong: Something went wrong (Something went wrong) similar to certain OS error messages which contain errors in themselves
soonerist sperver fid dot nile A spoonerism - spoonerist server did not find file
spin cycle still active Washing machines have a spin cycle. Hard-drives spin. CPUs have cycles.
spin number must be of the form n/2 Quantum spin numbers (in atomic physics) must be integers or half-integers
spontaneous splinal dereticulation "Reticulating Splines" is a loading message in The Sims and SimCity video game series.
SQL ejection ejection instead of injection
subtle threading bug in turing-complete version numbering system Turing-complete version numbering may refer to a state machine traversing a complex graph of versions.
sysadmin trapped in well Reference to Timmy being trapped in a well.
tape on write-protect hole fell off Read-only floppy disks have a write-protect hole in the corner. A writable disk has no hole.[1] It was common practice to convert read-only floppy disks (that could be obtained for free due to, e.g. shareware distribution at computer stores) into writable floppy disks by placing sticky tape over the hole.
temporal paradox
the butter you have dialed is invalid or no longer in service butter instead of number
the little plastic tab on the box the data's in broke off Floppy disks have read-only tab. They become permanently read-only once broken.
the server is temporarily permanent. Please try another also.
the system / is down Lyrics from "The System is Down", also known as Strongbad Techno. Possible additional reference to the '/' root filesystem on unix/linux.
This copy of Ubuntu is not genuine and you have not yet resolved this issue. Similar warnings betray proprietary software designed to break when used outside the terms of its license. Messages like this are unlikely to be found in free software like Ubuntu, where anti-features are largely inviable. A reference to "This copy of Windows is not genuine and you have not yet resolved this issue." seen on pirated Windows.
This page contains content from the Open Source Initiative, who have blocked it on copyright grounds. It would be ironic for the Open Source Initiative, which promotes sharing and modification, to prevent the sharing of the page for copyright reasons.
too many hands on the keyboard Possibly a reference to a scene in NCIS where two people simultaneously used the same keyboard to "double hack".
transfer interrupted by incoming fax Internet access used to be on dialup modems, which is also used for telephone calls or faxing. These can't operate at the same time.
TRIED TO READ 9TH SIDE OF 8 TRACK Eight-track tape is an obsolete format for recorded music; the tape itself only had two sides. Nine-track tape - much wider than eight-track tape - was used for computer data storage.
turns out server was on circuit with lightswitch by door If you turned out the lights as you left the room, it would power down the server.
Unable to cast variable of type Int32 to Magic Missile Magic Missile is a spell (which you can cast) in Dungeons & Dragons. Casting can also refer (in programming) to converting variables from one type to another, e.g. from integer to string. The pun here is that a 32-bit integer is being cast to the Magic Missile spell.
undefined is not a function, which really makes you think "Undefined is not a function" is a Javascript TypeError.
unexpected timezone drift desynchronization
unimplemented trap "Trap" refers to a computer operation code that is not implemented in the processor's instruction set and instead performs a system call. "Unimplemented trap" was an error message in some previous versions of MacOS.
User accepted terms but not conditions Normally, at an EULA you must accept 'terms and conditions'. There is basically no option to only agree to terms.
User is not a typewriter. A reference to the "isatty" function in the Unix C library, which reports whether a file descriptor is connected to a teletypewriter (terminal) or not. Interactive programs generally are intended to be used from a terminal.
user put spaces/vowels in filename Because early FAT file systems allowed only 8 characters in the filename, users often shortened names by removing the vowels. This ostensibly kept the file names readable, but under the 8-character limit. In practice, filenames without vowels were often misunderstood. Also, several programs (more so in the past) break when attempting to read from/write to files with spaces or reserved characters/non ASCII characters on their name.
UTF-31 decode error UTF-31 instead of UTF-32
virtual memory got too real Virtual memory is where the OS writes less-used parts of RAM to disk, so that the RAM can be used for another program, hence the less-used parts are in virtual memory. "This is getting too real" is an idiom meaning the person is approaching their wits' end.
wrong files
YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS A line frequently announced by the Protoss advisor in Starcraft.

User names[edit]

[Below are possible (not all?) user names mentioned next to any post as for instance on the Help! We lost the picture page.]
[In alphabetical order:]
Name Comment
@meganamram Megan Amram is a comedian and writer. She became well known through her Twitter Channel @meganamram [2]
Addison1
Addison8
Agric Silverfinger Referring to "Auric Goldfinger" in the James Bond Franchise. (Gold = Au, Silver = Ag)
Aidan2
Aiden1
Aiden5
Aidenn Aberforth Milne A. A. Milne is the author of Winnie-the-Pooh. The A. A. stands for Alan Alexander. Aidan and Aberforth are both Characters in the Harry Potter series
Alice1956
Amanda08
Anonymous Anonymous as if most of these other names are not.
Apple Martin Apple Martin is the name of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin's daughter.
Arthur17
Arthur19
Ashley8
Ashley92
Ashley2009
Austin72
Ayden1952
Bailey08
Bailey2001
Barbara1974
Benjamin1970
Benjamin Kenobi Sr Ben Kenobi or Obi-Wan Kenobi well known from Star Wars. Since Ben had no kids this person could be his father.
Bool Hand Luke Portmanteau of the datatype Bool and the film Cool Hand Luke.
Brandi9
Brittany1
Caden14
Caden2010
Candice10
Carol04
Chad80
Charles18
Chelsea2006 Chelsea F.C. commemorated 100 years in 2005–2006.
Cheyenne15
Cheyenne1988 Reference to the 1988 Chevrolet Cheyenne
Christina Applecare Portmanteau of actress Christina Applegate and Applecare
CMOS Def Portmanteau of CMOS and Mos Def.
Curic Copperfinger Referring to "Auric Goldfinger" in the James Bond Franchise. (Gold = Au, Copper = Cu)
Cynthia99
Cynthia1995
Dakota09
Dakota94
David St. Hubbins Character in the mockumentary film This Is Spinal Tap.
Debbie3
Debbie26
Debbie62
Deborah3
Delta Elroy Backslash
Destiny89
Destiny1983
Dillon2008
Donald19
Donna2
Dorothy7
DragonBall Cooper Merging Dragon Ball with D. B. Cooper
Dunston Chexin Homonym of the film Dunston Checks In
Dustin46
Earl Sinclair Earl Sinclair is the Dinosaur family father from the Dinosaurs TV series.
Egbert Bentley White E. B. White was an American Writer. The E. B. in his name stand for Elwyn Brooks.
Eliezer Yudkowsky An advocate for friendly artificial intelligence.
Elon Musk Elon Musk is the founder of SpaceX and a confounder of Paypal and of Tesla Motors.
Emily15
Eowyn L'Oreal James E. L. James is a British Author. Eowyn is a character in Lord of the Rings. L'Oreal is a brand of makeup.
Euphegenia Doubtfire Euphegenia Doubtfire is better known as Mrs. Doubtfire from the movie by the same name and played by Robin Williams.
Facebook Scott Fitzgerald F. Scott Fitzgerald, with F for Francis not Facebook, is widely regarded as one of the greatest American writers of the 20th century.
Flash Groupon Named after Flash Gordon the hero of a science fiction adventure of the same name (comic and movies/TV series).
Frances29
Frances51
Frances99
Gary8
Gary86
Gary1951
George Debian Bush George W. Bush, commonly called "Dubya" after his middle initial to distinguish him from his father; 43rd President of the United States.
George Reagan Renesmee Martin George Raymond Richard Martin, American novelist and screenwriter best known for his book series A Song of Fire and Ice and its television adaptation Game of Thrones; Ronald Reagan, the 40th President of the United States; Renesmee Cullen, the daughter of Edward Cullen and Bella Swan in the novel Breaking Dawn of the Twilight saga.
Green Mario Luigi of the Mario Brothers is green while his brother Mario wears red. In Mario Bros and Super Mario Bros Luigi and Mario are identical apart from the colour of their clothing.
Greg2004
Hatsy Collins Bootsy Collins' milliner brother.
Henry05 Henry V?
Henry4 Henry IV?
Horsepower Lovecraft Howard Phillips Lovecraft, an American author who achieved posthumous fame through his influential works of horror fiction; Horsepower, a common unit of measurement for the rate at which work is done ("power") commonly used in reference to engines.
J. Alfred Leftshark J. Alfred Prufrock from T. S. Eliot's poem The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock; "Left Shark" refers to one of the back-up dancers from Katy Perry's performance at the Super Bowl XLIX halftime show who conspicuously danced out of beat.
Jack3
Jack39
Jacob10
Jada5
Jaden21
Jaden Riley Rufio Tolkien J. R. R. Tolkien, author of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings; "J. R. R." stands for "John Ronald Reuel". "Jaden" perhaps from Jaden Smith; "Riley" is a Given Name and a common Surname but could refer to Life of Riley or the phrase that inspired it; "Rufio" refers either to the punk-rock band Rufio, the Lost Boy from the film Hook, or one of Julius Caesar's officers.
Jaina Khloe Rowling J. K. Rowling author of Harry Potter. The J is for Joanne, the K is just to have a better pen name.
Jalen81
James URL Jones James Earl Jones, a prolific American stage and film actor most recognizable as the voice of Darth Vader; URL or "uniform resource locator" refers to the address of a webpage as displayed by a web browser in the address bar.
Jason15
Jayden79
Jennifer1
Jeph Jacques Jeph Jacques writes and illustrates the webcomic Questionable Content.
Jerry18
Joe Biden Joe Biden is the 47th (and current at the time of this comic) Vice President of the United States, jointly elected twice with President Barack Obama and in office since 2009.
John2
John Wilkes Knuth John Wilkes Booth was an American stage actor who assassinated President Abraham Lincoln at Ford's Theatre, in Washington, D.C., on April 14, 1865. Donald Knuth is a computer scientist, famous for his multi-volume work The Art of Computer Programming and for developing the TeX text type-setting system.
Jonathan27
Joshua80
Joshua84
Justin28
Justin87
Kaden61
Kaitlin1976
Karen3
Kathleen78
Keira10
Keira48
Keira2002
Kelsey1970
Kelsey1996
Kenneth94
Kenneth96
Khloe2
Khloe14
Kilroy As in Kilroy was here?
Kim5
Kristy2007
Larry1994
Larry Ronald Hubbard L. Ron Hubbard although the L. stands for Lafayette. Was an American author and the founder of the Church of Scientology.
Lauren Ibsen Dolores Amit This is a modified version of "Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet," the first words of a garbled Latin text often used as a substitute for real text where the text content is irrelevant, such as in a page used to display a typeface.
Linda08
Lindsay2011
Lisa1995
Livemau5 Referring to deadmau5
Lord Gaga Referring to Lady Gaga
Lord Mondegreen The term "Mondegreen" for a misheard word was coined in the essay "The Death of Lady Mondegreen"
Louis Reasoner A character in the textbook Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs.
Madison19
Madison80
Malik2
Margaret5
Margaret11
Marie3
Marie10
Marie12
Marissa Mayer The President and CEO of Yahoo!
Mark92
Mark2006
Mark2007
Mark Zuckerberg Mark Zuckerberg is the founder of Facebook
Martin Van Halen Martin Van Buren, 8th President of the United States, combined with the band Van Halen.
Matthew2006
Mavis Bitcoin Bitcoin is an on-line payment system. The use of the name Mavis was initiated by Marie Corelli's 1895 novel The Sorrows of Satan. Maybe Randall gives away his opinion on the Bitcoin concept in this name? Or perhaps the fictional character from Brøderbund's Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing?
Michaela2006
Michelle11
Minecraft Holmes A portmanteau of the game Minecraft and the character Mycroft Holmes
Misty3
Myspace Tom Myspace was co-founded by Tom Anderson.
Norton Ghost Dad A portmanteau of the software Norton Ghost and the film Ghost Dad.
Notorious L.H.C. Portmanteau of rapper Notorious B.I.G. and the LHC.
Padme Dorothy James P. D. James is a British Author. Padme is a Star Wars character. (Dorothy is actually P. D. James' middle name)
Pam06
Patricia03
Paul50
Paul1957
Player One As in old computer games
Player Two As in old computer games
Professor Monoculatus McToff
Raymond6
Ronald22
Ruth3
S. G. Dukat Dukat, S.G., better known as "Gul Dukat" of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Samuel19
Samuel49
Sarah55
Sarah1976
Sarah2005
Sharon91
Sharon99
Shaun6
Shaun46
Shaun1960
Sheena2005
Sherri97
Sidd Finch The subject of the notorious article and April Fools' Day hoax "The Curious Case of Sidd Finch"
Sierra3
Sierra7
Sierra10
Stacy07
Stacy14
Steven02
Steven50
Steven2002
Susan11
Susan25
Taylor1990
Taylor1998
Thomas2
Tim21
Tim87
Tina Belcher A character in Bob's Burgers
Todd33
Tonya22
Tonya38
Tracy1977
Tricia1
Tricia14
Trinity1989
Virginia1961
Virginia2006
Wil Will Wheaton's reddit username.
Wric Tungstenfinger Referring to "Auric Goldfinger" in the James Bond Franchise. (Gold = Au, Tungsten = W)

User pictures[edit]

[Below are descriptions of possible (not all?) user pictures shown next to any user name as for instance on the Help! We lost the picture page.]
[The 20 user images can be directly accessed on xkcd from http://imgs.xkcd.com/xkcloud/user-1.png to http://imgs.xkcd.com/xkcloud/user-20.png.]
[Picture of all users in number order from User-1 to User-2, ordered left to right, top to bottom:
All users.png]

Like buttons[edit]

[xkcloud has "Like" buttons next to each post (next to the post text above the picture), similar to those on Facebook, but with random text from this alphabetical list below where all words are synonyms for want.]
  • Covet
  • Crave
  • Hanker
  • Thirst
  • Yearn

Post from users[edit]

[Some of the picture can be seen on this page: Pictures posted by users.]
[It will likely be impossible to transcribe all this as it is user input, and thus not Randall's own text. But at least a few examples should be given here as a reference. If anyone wish to expand beyond a few feel free to contribute.]
  • Meritocracy is a pipe dream

The Mushroom Kingdom (from Super Mario Bros.) is a monarchic meritocracy

  • The prophecy was true!
  • The tea party was right about GMO bicycles
  • Everything makes sense now
  • Turkey drumstick Stonehenge was surprisingly compelling
  • I've made a huge mistake
  • Um, I think somethings wrong with my carrot...
  • The rest is darkness and decay
  • Howerboard to full power!
  • My hobby: Freaking people out
  • Is this real life?

Reference to Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody

  • Where should I put this new cool tatto?
  • Exact composition of this... thing... is yet to be determined.
  • AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Man, that cool-ade guy really lost some weight lately.
  • Lol, no I didn't jump
  • In hindsight, it makes perfect sense
  • Whoops I left the Lens Cap on for this one. :S
  • Duck Duck Go's secret algorithm

Duck Duck Go is a search engine which doesn't track you. Somewhat ironically, their algorithm is a bit secretive

  • This isn't where I parked my zeppelin!
  • Who stepped on my pop tart?
  • Big Ben is going down
  • Do my feet look fat?
  • I say; Nuts to that!
  • I can take photo's with my teeth!
  • To infinity and birdyond!

Reference to Toystory

  • I wish I could afford the monopolar model...
  • I can control the BEES! But I only make them turn right
  • the saddest moment of my childhood
  • hey, so, we need to talk about your sphere-packing problem.

References[edit]