Difference between revisions of "1446: Landing/Transcript"

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(Undo revision 79945 by NES Boy (talk) - I appreciate that this edit was probably a lot of work, but the transcript is supposed to be a full and precise copy of the comic text.)
Line 2: Line 2:
  
 
:[00:00:00:]
 
:[00:00:00:]
:[Showing blank image]
+
:[Showing blank image.]
 
:[00:35:00:]
 
:[00:35:00:]
 
:Rosetta: Three hours to separation
 
:Rosetta: Three hours to separation
Line 63: Line 63:
 
:Time until lander separation: <font color="red">None</font>
 
:Time until lander separation: <font color="red">None</font>
 
:[04:10:00:]
 
:[04:10:00:]
:[Philae separates from Rosetta to comet]
+
:[Philae separates from Rosetta to comet.]
 
:Philae: ''Wheee!''
 
:Philae: ''Wheee!''
 
:[04:15:00:]
 
:[04:15:00:]
Line 78: Line 78:
 
:Philae: Spaaaaaaaace
 
:Philae: Spaaaaaaaace
 
:[10:25:00:]
 
:[10:25:00:]
:[Showing Rosetta on the right]
+
:[Showing Rosetta on the right.]
 
:Rosetta: Lost track of earth thanks to that jolt.
 
:Rosetta: Lost track of earth thanks to that jolt.
 
:[10:30:00:]
 
:[10:30:00:]
Line 99: Line 99:
 
:[11:05:00:]
 
:[11:05:00:]
 
:Time until landing: 5 Hours
 
:Time until landing: 5 Hours
:[Status report appear from bottom-right corner]
+
:[Status report appear from bottom-right corner.]
 
:Philae: Gonna harpoon a comet. This is so cool.
 
:Philae: Gonna harpoon a comet. This is so cool.
 
:Status report:
 
:Status report:
Line 109: Line 109:
 
:[11:10:00:]
 
:[11:10:00:]
 
:Time until landing: 5 Hours
 
:Time until landing: 5 Hours
:Philae: Gonna harpoon a comet. This is so cool. ... I hope harpoons ''work'' on comets.
+
:Philae: Gonna harpoon a comet. This is so cool. ...I hope harpoons ''work'' on comets.
 
:Status report:
 
:Status report:
 
::Rosetta: In space
 
::Rosetta: In space
Line 118: Line 118:
 
:[11:15:00:]
 
:[11:15:00:]
 
:Time until landing: 5 Hours
 
:Time until landing: 5 Hours
:Philae: Gonna harpoon a comet. This is so cool. ... I hope harpoons ''work'' on comets.
+
:Philae: Gonna harpoon a comet. This is so cool. ...I hope harpoons ''work'' on comets.
 
:Status report:
 
:Status report:
 
::Rosetta: In space
 
::Rosetta: In space
Line 169: Line 169:
 
:[11:40:00:]
 
:[11:40:00:]
 
:Time until landing: 4 Hours
 
:Time until landing: 4 Hours
:Rosetta: ... They're a little worried about your top thruster.
+
:Rosetta: ...They're a little worried about your top thruster.
 
:Status report:
 
:Status report:
 
::Rosetta: In space
 
::Rosetta: In space
Line 179: Line 179:
 
:[11:45:00:]
 
:[11:45:00:]
 
:Time until landing: 4 Hours
 
:Time until landing: 4 Hours
:Rosetta: ... They're a little worried about your top thruster. There's a chance you might have to hang on to the surface without it.
+
:Rosetta: ...They're a little worried about your top thruster. There's a chance you might have to hang on to the surface without it.
 
:Status report:
 
:Status report:
 
::Rosetta: In space
 
::Rosetta: In space
Line 189: Line 189:
 
:[11:50:00:]
 
:[11:50:00:]
 
:Time until landing: 4 Hours
 
:Time until landing: 4 Hours
:Rosetta: ... They're a little worried about your top thruster. There's a chance you might have to hang on to the surface without it.
+
:Rosetta: ...They're a little worried about your top thruster. There's a chance you might have to hang on to the surface without it.
 
:Status report:
 
:Status report:
 
::Rosetta: In space
 
::Rosetta: In space
Line 199: Line 199:
 
:[11:55:00:]
 
:[11:55:00:]
 
:Time until landing: 4 Hours
 
:Time until landing: 4 Hours
:Rosetta: ... They're a little worried about your top thruster. There's a chance you might have to hang on to the surface without it.
+
:Rosetta: ...They're a little worried about your top thruster. There's a chance you might have to hang on to the surface without it.
 
:Philae: I ''really'' hope harpoons work on comets.
 
:Philae: I ''really'' hope harpoons work on comets.
 
:Status report:
 
:Status report:
Line 248: Line 248:
 
::Do harpoons work on comets: <u>Hopefully</u>
 
::Do harpoons work on comets: <u>Hopefully</u>
 
:[12:25:00:]
 
:[12:25:00:]
:['''Whale appears inside the comet''']
+
:[Whale appears inside the comet''']
 
:Time until landing: 4 Hours
 
:Time until landing: 4 Hours
 
:Status report:
 
:Status report:
Line 259: Line 259:
 
::Do harpoons work on comets: <u>Hopefully</u>
 
::Do harpoons work on comets: <u>Hopefully</u>
 
:[12:30:00:]
 
:[12:30:00:]
:['''Whale marked "Probably not"''']
+
:[Whale marked "Probably not".]
 
:Time until landing: 4 Hours
 
:Time until landing: 4 Hours
 
:Status report:
 
:Status report:
Line 271: Line 271:
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
:[12:35:00:]
 
:[12:35:00:]
:[Whale '''and stick figure''' on comet marked "Probably not"]
+
:[Whale '''and stick figure''' on comet marked "Probably not".]
 
:Time until landing: '''3''' Hours
 
:Time until landing: '''3''' Hours
 
:Rosetta: They should be getting the pictures back on earth about now.
 
:Rosetta: They should be getting the pictures back on earth about now.
Line 388: Line 388:
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
:[13:25:00:]
 
:[13:25:00:]
:['''More whales appear above the comet surface''']
+
:[More whales appear above the comet surface.]
 
:Time until landing: 3 Hours
 
:Time until landing: 3 Hours
 
:Status report:
 
:Status report:
Line 400: Line 400:
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
:[13:30:00:]
 
:[13:30:00:]
:['''Whales and stick figure disappear''']
+
:[Whales and stick figure disappear.]
:['''Slab of rock appears near the target''']
+
:[Slab of rock appears near the target.]
:['''Whale hides behind rock''']
+
:[Whale hides behind rock.]
 
:Time until landing: 3 Hours
 
:Time until landing: 3 Hours
 
:Rosetta: <font color="grey">✔ seen 1:02 pm</font> Hooray!
 
:Rosetta: <font color="grey">✔ seen 1:02 pm</font> Hooray!
Line 416: Line 416:
 
:[13:35:00:]
 
:[13:35:00:]
 
:Time until landing: '''2''' Hours
 
:Time until landing: '''2''' Hours
:Rosetta: Oh, they wanted me to mention -
+
:Rosetta: Oh, they wanted me to mention-
 
:Status report:
 
:Status report:
 
::Rosetta: In space
 
::Rosetta: In space
Line 544: Line 544:
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
:[14:20:00:]
 
:[14:20:00:]
['''Slab of rock disappears''']
+
[Slab of rock disappears.]
 
:Time until landing: 2 Hours
 
:Time until landing: 2 Hours
 
:Philae lander: I can do this.
 
:Philae lander: I can do this.
Line 575: Line 575:
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
:[14:30:00:]
 
:[14:30:00:]
['''Lander fires thrusters''']
+
[Lander fires thrusters.]
 
:Time until landing: 2 Hours
 
:Time until landing: 2 Hours
 
:Philae lander: All right! Time to turn on my landing cameras... '''...Annnnd arm my ''harpoons!'''''
 
:Philae lander: All right! Time to turn on my landing cameras... '''...Annnnd arm my ''harpoons!'''''
Line 731: Line 731:
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
:[15:35:00:]
 
:[15:35:00:]
:[Showing Earth on the right]
+
:[Showing Earth on the right.]
 
:Time until '''news of landing: 30 minutes'''
 
:Time until '''news of landing: 30 minutes'''
 
:Status report:
 
:Status report:
Line 929: Line 929:
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
:[16:40:00:]
 
:[16:40:00:]
:[Philae slightly tilts]
+
:[Philae slightly tilts.]
 
:Status report:
 
:Status report:
 
::Rosetta: In space
 
::Rosetta: In space
Line 943: Line 943:
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
:[16:45:00:]
 
:[16:45:00:]
:[Philae tilts more]
+
:[Philae tilts more.]
 
:Status report:
 
:Status report:
 
::Rosetta: In space
 
::Rosetta: In space
Line 957: Line 957:
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
:[16:50:00:]
 
:[16:50:00:]
:[Philae tilts the opposite]
+
:[Philae tilts the opposite.]
 
:Status report:
 
:Status report:
 
::Rosetta: In space
 
::Rosetta: In space
Line 986: Line 986:
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
:[17:00:00:]
 
:[17:00:00:]
:[Showing Earth]
+
:[Showing Earth.]
 
:Status report:
 
:Status report:
 
::Rosetta: In space
 
::Rosetta: In space
Line 1,016: Line 1,016:
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
::Has anybody tried this before: Nope
 
:[17:10:00:]
 
:[17:10:00:]
:[Showing Philae on a comet]
+
:[Showing Philae on a comet.]
 
:Philae: I did it.
 
:Philae: I did it.
 
:Status report:
 
:Status report:

Revision as of 05:54, 14 December 2014

[Below is the complete transcript for 1446: Landing.]
[00:00:00:]
[Showing blank image.]
[00:35:00:]
Rosetta: Three hours to separation
[00:45:00:]
Philae: Has anyone ever tried this before?
[00:50:00:]
Rosetta: I don't think so.
[01:25:00:]
Rosetta: Ready to begin pre-delivery burn.
[02:20:00:]
Rosetta: We are go for separation!
[02:25:00:]
Rosetta: We are go for separation!
Philae: Yessss!
[02:35:00:]
Time until lander separation: 1 Hour
[02:40:00:]
Time until lander separation: 55 Minutes
[02:45:00:]
Time until lander separation: 50 Minutes
[02:50:00:]
Time until lander separation: 75 Minutes
[02:55:00:]
Time until lander separation: 70 Minutes
[03:00:00:]
Time until lander separation: 65 Minutes
[03:05:00:]
Time until lander separation: 60 Minutes
Philae: Can I just go now?
[03:10:00:]
Time until lander separation: 60 Minutes
[03:20:00:]
Time until lander separation: 45 Minutes
Philae: Turning on sesame Bzzzzzzzzzt.
[03:25:00:]
Time until lander separation: 40 Minutes
Rosetta: Well it's been a fun 10 years together.
[03:35:00:]
Time until lander separation: 30 Minutes
Rosetta: Well it's been a fun 10 years together.
Philae: Yeah! ... a little boring maybe.
[03:40:00:]
Time until lander separation: 25 Minutes
Rosetta: Well it's been a fun 10 years together.
Philae: Yeah! ... a little boring maybe.
[03:45:00:]
Time until lander separation: 20 Minutes
Rosetta: Ok, turning on concert. I'll send you signals through the comet, once you're down there, so we can measure what's inside it.
[03:50:00:]
Time until lander separation: 15 Minutes
Rosetta: Ok, turning on concert. I'll send you signals through the comet, once you're down there, so we can measure what's inside it.
Philae: Assuming comets even have insides!
Rosetta: I'm, uh, pretty sure they do.
[03:55:00:]
Time until lander separation: 10 Minutes
Rosetta: Ok, turning on concert. I'll send you signals through the comet, once you're down there, so we can measure what's inside it.
Philae: Assuming comets even have insides!
Rosetta: I'm, uh, pretty sure they do.
[04:05:00:]
Time until lander separation: None
[04:10:00:]
[Philae separates from Rosetta to comet.]
Philae: Wheee!
[04:15:00:]
Rosetta: Quick, take a picture of me!
Philae: Just take a selfie
Rosetta: Can't. No front-facing camera
[04:20:00:]
Time until landing: 6 Hours
[10:00:00:]
Rosetta: Bye
[10:05:00:]
[Rosetta, Philae and comet appear on the left, indicating the landing progress. Philae appear on the right.]
[10:15:00:]
Philae: Spaaaaaaaace
[10:25:00:]
[Showing Rosetta on the right.]
Rosetta: Lost track of earth thanks to that jolt.
[10:30:00:]
Rosetta: Lost track of earth thanks to that jolt. Let's see, where is it...
[10:35:00:]
Rosetta: Lost track of earth thanks to that jolt. Let's see, where is it... Aha!
[10:40:00:]
Time until landing: 5 Hours
Rosetta: Hey! Earth!
[10:45:00:]
Time until landing: 5 Hours
Rosetta: Hey! Earth! Check out these pics!
[10:55:00:]
[Showing Philae on the right]
Time until landing: 5 Hours
Philae: Gonna harpoon a comet.
[11:00:00:]
Time until landing: 5 Hours
Philae: Gonna harpoon a comet. This is so cool.
[11:05:00:]
Time until landing: 5 Hours
[Status report appear from bottom-right corner.]
Philae: Gonna harpoon a comet. This is so cool.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: In space
Mission control: Not in space
Comet 67P: Big
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
[11:10:00:]
Time until landing: 5 Hours
Philae: Gonna harpoon a comet. This is so cool. ...I hope harpoons work on comets.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: In space
Mission control: Not in space
Comet 67P: Big
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
[11:15:00:]
Time until landing: 5 Hours
Philae: Gonna harpoon a comet. This is so cool. ...I hope harpoons work on comets.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: In space
Mission control: Not in space
Comet 67P: Big
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
[11:20:00:]
Time until landing: 5 Hours
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: In space
Mission control: Not in space
Comet 67P: Big
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
[11:25:00:]
Time until landing: 5 Hours
Philae: Hey Rosetta - you in touch with Earth?
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: In space
Mission control: Not in space
Comet 67P: Big
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
[11:30:00:]
Time until landing: 5 Hours
Philae: Hey Rosetta - you in touch with Earth?
Rosetta: Yes!
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: In space
Mission control: Not in space
Comet 67P: Big
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
[11:35:00:]
Time until landing: 4 Hours
Philae: Hey Rosetta - you in touch with Earth?
Rosetta: Yes! ... They're a little worried about your top thruster.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: In space
Mission control: Not in space
Comet 67P: Big
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
[11:40:00:]
Time until landing: 4 Hours
Rosetta: ...They're a little worried about your top thruster.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: In space
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
[11:45:00:]
Time until landing: 4 Hours
Rosetta: ...They're a little worried about your top thruster. There's a chance you might have to hang on to the surface without it.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: In space
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
[11:50:00:]
Time until landing: 4 Hours
Rosetta: ...They're a little worried about your top thruster. There's a chance you might have to hang on to the surface without it.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: In space
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
[11:55:00:]
Time until landing: 4 Hours
Rosetta: ...They're a little worried about your top thruster. There's a chance you might have to hang on to the surface without it.
Philae: I really hope harpoons work on comets.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Worried
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
[12:05:00:]
Time until landing: 4 Hours
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Worried
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
[12:10:00:]
Time until landing: 4 Hours
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Brave
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
[12:15:00:]
Time until landing: 4 Hours
Philae: Harpoons work on whales, right?
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Brave
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
[12:20:00:]
Time until landing: 4 Hours
Philae: Harpoons work on whales, right?
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Brave
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Not in space
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
[12:25:00:]
[Whale appears inside the comet]
Time until landing: 4 Hours
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Brave
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
[12:30:00:]
[Whale marked "Probably not".]
Time until landing: 4 Hours
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Brave
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[12:35:00:]
[Whale and stick figure on comet marked "Probably not".]
Time until landing: 3 Hours
Rosetta: They should be getting the pictures back on earth about now.
Philae: The 28-minute delay is weird.
Rosetta: I'm watching for the ✔ seen 12:41 pm message.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Brave
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[12:40:00:]
Time until landing: 3 Hours
Rosetta: They should be getting the pictures back on earth about now.
Philae: The 28-minute delay is weird.
Rosetta: I'm watching for the ✔ seen 12:41 pm message.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Brave
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[12:45:00:]
Time until landing: 3 Hours
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Brave
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[12:50:00:]
Time until landing: 3 Hours
Philae lander: Not to obsess, but what do I do of I touch down on a big slab of rock? Pretty sure harpoons don't work on rock.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Worried
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[12:55:00:]
Time until landing: 3 Hours
Philae lander: Not to obsess, but what do I do of I touch down on a big slab of rock? Pretty sure harpoons don't work on rock.
Rosetta: Don't worry - the rocks should be full of pockets where ice used to be. Your harpoons will crunch right through.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Brave
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[13:00:00:]
Time until landing: 3 Hours
Philae lander: Not to obsess, but what do I do of I touch down on a big slab of rock? Pretty sure harpoons don't work on rock.
Rosetta: Don't worry - the rocks should be full of pockets where ice used to be. Your harpoons will crunch right through. We think, anyway.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Worried
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[13:10:00:]
Time until landing: 3 Hours
Philae lander: [thinks] I mean, when I think about it, it's hard to believe harpoons even work on whales.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Worried
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[13:15:00:]
Time until landing: 3 Hours
Rosetta: Are you thinking about whales?
Philae lander: No.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Worried
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[13:20:00:]
Time until landing: 3 Hours
Rosetta: Are you thinking about whales?
Philae lander: No.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Thinking about whales
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[13:25:00:]
[More whales appear above the comet surface.]
Time until landing: 3 Hours
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Thinking about whales
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[13:30:00:]
[Whales and stick figure disappear.]
[Slab of rock appears near the target.]
[Whale hides behind rock.]
Time until landing: 3 Hours
Rosetta: ✔ seen 1:02 pm Hooray!
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Thinking about rocks
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[13:35:00:]
Time until landing: 2 Hours
Rosetta: Oh, they wanted me to mention-
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Worried
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[13:40:00:]
Time until landing: 2 Hours
Rosetta: Oh, they wanted me to mention - When you touch down, try not to accidentally balance on one foot. If you do, your harpoons won't fire.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Worried
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
U.S. Scientists: "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?"
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[13:45:00:]
Time until landing: 2 Hours
Rosetta: Oh, they wanted me to mention - When you touch down, try not to accidentally balance on one foot. If you do, your harpoons won't fire.
Philae lander: I've got a gyroscope. I'm pretty good at balancing.
Rosetta: Yeah, well, try not to do that.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Worried
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
U.S. Scientists: "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?"
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[13:50:00:]
Time until landing: 2 Hours
Rosetta: Oh, they wanted me to mention - When you touch down, try not to accidentally balance on one foot. If you do, your harpoons won't fire.
Philae lander: I've got a gyroscope. I'm pretty good at balancing.
Rosetta: Yeah, well, try not to do that.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: WORRIED
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
U.S. Scientists: "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?"
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[13:55:00:]
Time until landing: 2 Hours
Philae lander: Can't a pilot on earth help me land?
Rosetta: Sorry. They're so far away their signals take half an hour to get here.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Worried
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
U.S. Scientists: "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?"
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Far away
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[14:00:00:]
Time until landing: 2 Hours
Philae lander: Can't a pilot on earth help me land?
Rosetta: Sorry. They're so far away their signals take half an hour to get here. You're gonna have to do it on your own.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Worried
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
U.S. Scientists: "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?"
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Far away
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[14:05:00:]
Time until landing: 2 Hours
Rosetta: Sorry. They're so far away their signals take half an hour to get here. You're gonna have to do it on your own.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Brave
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
U.S. Scientists: "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?"
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Far away
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[14:10:00:]
Time until landing: 2 Hours
Philae lander: I can do this.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Brave
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
U.S. Scientists: "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?"
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Far away
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[14:15:00:]
Time until landing: 2 Hours
Philae lander: I can do this.
Rosetta: Well, and if you don't it's really the fault of the people back home who programmed you. None of whom were tough enough to come themselves.
Philae lander: Haha, yeah!
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Brave
Mission control: Worried
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
U.S. Scientists: "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?"
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Far away
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[14:20:00:]

[Slab of rock disappears.]

Time until landing: 2 Hours
Philae lander: I can do this.
Rosetta: Well, and if you don't it's really the fault of the people back home who programmed you. None of whom were tough enough to come themselves.
Philae lander: Haha, yeah! Enjoy being stuck on your planet, suckers!
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Brave
Mission control: Stuck on earth
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
U.S. Scientists: "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?"
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Far away
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[14:25:00:]
Time until landing: 2 Hours
Philae lander: All right! Time to turn on my landing cameras...
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Brave
Mission control: Stuck on earth
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
U.S. Scientists: "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?"
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Far away
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[14:30:00:]

[Lander fires thrusters.]

Time until landing: 2 Hours
Philae lander: All right! Time to turn on my landing cameras... ...Annnnd arm my harpoons!
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Brave
Mission control: Stuck on earth
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
U.S. Scientists: "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?"
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Far away
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[14:35:00:]
Time until landing: 60 Minutes
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Brave
Mission control: Stuck on earth
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
U.S. Scientists: "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?"
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Far away
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[14:40:00:]
Time until landing: 55 Minutes
Rosetta: Can you see it? Can you see the landing site?
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Brave
Mission control: Stuck on earth
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
U.S. Scientists: "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?"
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Far away
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[14:45:00:]
Time until landing: 50 Minutes
Rosetta: Can you see it? Can you see the landing site?
Philae lander: WOW.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Brave
Mission control: Stuck on earth
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
U.S. Scientists: "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?"
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Far away
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[14:50:00:]
Time until landing: 45 Minutes
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: WOW.
Mission control: Stuck on earth
Comet 67P: Big
Whales: Probably Not in space
U.S. Scientists: "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?"
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Far away
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[15:00:00:]
Time until landing: 35 Minutes
Philae lander: Hi, comet. I'm Philae. We caught you.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: WOW.
Mission control: Stuck on earth
Comet 67P: Near
Whales: Probably Not in space
U.S. Scientists: "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?"
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet...
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Far away
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[15:10:00:]
[Showing Rosetta on the right]
Time until landing: 25 Minutes
Rosetta: Looking good. You're right on target. Spinning a little.
Philae lander: WHEEEE!
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: WHEEEE!
Mission control: Stuck on earth
Comet 67P: Near
Whales: Probably Not in space
U.S. Scientists: "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?"
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet...
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Far away
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[15:15:00:]
Time until landing: 20 Minutes
Rosetta: Looking good. You're right on target. Spinning a little. They're loving your pictures back home!
Philae lander: WHEEEE!
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: WHEEEE!
Mission control: Nervous
Comet 67P: Near
Whales: Probably Not in space
U.S. Scientists: "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?"
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet...
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Far away
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[15:20:00:]
Time until landing: 15 Minutes
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: WOW.
Mission control: Nervous
Comet 67P: Near
Whales: Probably Not in space
U.S. Scientists: "Bluuurghhh. What time is it?"
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet...
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Far away
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[15:25:00:]
Time until landing: 10 Minutes
Rosetta: Hey, Philae- Do you see anything that might explain how to levitate and destroy rocks with your minds? People back home keep asking.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Wow.
Mission control: Nervous
Comet 67P: Near
Whales: Probably Not in space
U.S. Scientists: Anxious
Have we landed on a comet?: Not yet...
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Far away
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[15:30:00:]
Time until landing: 5 Minutes
Rosetta: Philae?
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: ...
Mission control: Anxious
Comet 67P: Near
Whales: Anxious
U.S. Scientists: Nervous
Have we landed on a comet?: ...
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Far away
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[15:35:00:]
[Showing Earth on the right.]
Time until news of landing: 30 minutes
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: ...
Mission control: Anxious
Comet 67P: Far away
Whales: Calm
U.S. Scientists: Nervous
Have we landed on a comet?: ???
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Near
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[15:40:00:]
Time until news of landing: 25 minutes
Prime Minister: I hope we succeeded. That awful comet must be destroyed.
Aide: ...Mr. Prime Minister, no one is trying to destroy the comet.
Prime Minister: What?! But I secured you all this funding. I just assumed...
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: ...
Mission control: Nervous
Comet 67P: Far away
Whales: Calm
U.S. Scientists: Anxious
Have we landed on a comet?: ???
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Near
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[15:45:00:]
Time until news of landing: 20 minutes
This picture of Philae falling away is beautiful.
Its kind of blurry and washed out.
There will be a lot more soon. But this was the first.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: ...
Mission control: Nervous
Comet 67P: Far away
Whales: Calm
U.S. Scientists: Anxious
Have we landed on a comet?: ???
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Near
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[15:50:00:]
Time until news of landing: 15 minutes
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: ???
Mission control: AAAAAAA
Comet 67P: Far away
Whales: Calm
U.S. Scientists: AAAAAAA
Have we landed on a comet?: ???
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Near
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[15:55:00:]
Time until news of landing: 10 minutes
AAAA! I can't take it - this is too stressful!
You're just looking at Twitter.
I should probably never actually go to space.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: ???
Mission control: AAAAAAA
Comet 67P: Far away
Whales: Calm
U.S. Scientists: AAAAAAA
Have we landed on a comet?: ???
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Near
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[16:00:00:]
Time until news of landing: 5 minutes
AAAAAAAAAAA
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: ???
Mission control: AAAAAAA
Comet 67P: Far away
Whales: AAAAAAA
U.S. Scientists: AAAAAAA
Dolphins and Fish: Um, are those whales screaming?
Have we landed on a comet?: ???
Do harpoons work on comets: Hopefully
Earth: Near
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[16:05:00:]
[Philae and the comet on the left veiled]
Time until news of landing: [now]
[Holding breath]
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander:???
Mission control: [...]
Comet 67P: Far away
Whales: Calm
U.S. Scientists: [...]
Dolphins and Fish: OK
Have we landed on a comet?: ???
Do harpoons work on comets: [...]
Earth: Near
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[16:10:00:]
Time until news of landing: [now]
Philae lander: Hey, Earth!
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander:
Mission control: [...]
Comet 67P: Far away
Whales: Calm
U.S. Scientists: [...]
Dolphins and Fish: OK
Have we landed on a comet?: ???
Do harpoons work on comets: [...]
Earth: Near
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[16:15:00:]
Time until news of landing: [now]
Philae lander: Hey, Earth!
Philae lander: It's Philae.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander:
Mission control: [...]
Comet 67P: Far away
Whales: Calm
U.S. Scientists: [...]
Dolphins and Fish: OK
Have we landed on a comet?: ???
Do harpoons work on comets: [...]
Earth: Near
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[16:20:00:]
[Showing Philae on a comet]
Philae lander: Hi, Earth! It's Philae.
Philae lander: I got you a comet.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Landed
Mission control: [...]
Comet 67P: Here.
Whales: Calm
U.S. Scientists: [...]
Dolphins and Fish: OK
Have we landed on a comet?: YES.
Do harpoons work on comets: YES.
Earth: Far Away
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[16:25:00:]
Philae lander: Hi, Earth! It's Philae.
Philae lander: I got you a comet.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Landed
Mission control: Proud
Comet 67P: Here.
Whales: Calm
U.S. Scientists: Proud
Dolphins and Fish: OK
Have we landed on a comet?: YES.
Do harpoons work on comets: YES.
Earth: Proud
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[16:30:00:]
Philae lander: I'm taking pictures and sending them as fast as I can.
Philae lander: It's a long way home but they should get there soon!
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Landed
Mission control: Proud
Comet 67P: Harpooned
Whales: Calm
U.S. Scientists: Proud
Dolphins and Fish: OK
Have we landed on a comet?: YES.
Do harpoons work on comets: YES.
Earth: Proud
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[16:35:00:]
Philae lander: I'm taking pictures and sending them as fast as I can.
Philae lander: It's a long way home but they should get there soon!
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Landed
Mission control: Proud
Comet 67P: Landed on
Whales: Calm
U.S. Scientists: Proud
Dolphins and Fish: OK
Have we landed on a comet?: YES.
Do harpoons work on comets: Don't know
Earth: Proud
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[16:40:00:]
[Philae slightly tilts.]
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: ???
Mission control: Nervous
Comet 67P: Landed on
Whales: Calm
U.S. Scientists: Anxious
Dolphins and Fish: OK
Have we landed on a comet?: YES.
Do harpoons work on comets: Don't know
Earth: Proud
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[16:45:00:]
[Philae tilts more.]
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: ???
Mission control: Anxious
Comet 67P: ???
Whales: Calm
U.S. Scientists: Nervous
Dolphins and Fish: OK
Have we landed on a comet?: YES.
Do harpoons work on comets: Don't know
Earth: Confused
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[16:50:00:]
[Philae tilts the opposite.]
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: ???
Mission control: Anxious
Comet 67P: ???
Whales: Calm
Scientists: Nervous
Harpoons: Tricky
Dolphins and Fish: OK
Have we landed on a comet?: Yes, at least once
Do harpoons work on comets: Don't know
Earth: Confused
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[16:55:00:]
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: ???
Mission control: Anxious
Comet 67P: ???
Whales: Calm
Scientists: Nervous
Harpoons: Tricky
Dolphins and Fish: OK
Have we landed on a comet?: Yes, at least once
Do harpoons work on comets: Don't know
Earth: Confused
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[17:00:00:]
[Showing Earth.]
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: ???
Mission control: Anxious
Comet 67P: ???
Whales: Calm
Scientists: Anxious
Harpoons: Tricky
Dolphins and Fish: OK
Have we landed on a comet?: Yes, at least once
Do harpoons work on comets: Don't know
Earth: Nervous
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[17:05:00:]
Philae? Are you OK?
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: ???
Mission control: Anxious
Comet 67P: ???
Whales: Calm
Scientists: Anxious
Harpoons: Tricky
Dolphins and Fish: OK
Have we landed on a comet?: Yes, at least once
Do harpoons work on comets: Don't know
Earth: Nervous
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[17:10:00:]
[Showing Philae on a comet.]
Philae: I did it.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Landed
Mission control: !!!!!
Comet 67P: Landed on
Whales: Calm
Scientists: [Wine]
Harpoons: Tricky
Dolphins and Fish: OK
Have we landed on a comet?: YES
Do harpoons work on comets: Don't know
Earth: !!!!!
Has anybody tried this before: Nope
[17:15:00:]
Philae? Is everything OK?
Philae: I landed! I'm on a comet. I'm OK and I'm on a comet.
Status report:
Rosetta: In space
Philae lander: Landed
Mission control: !!!!!
Comet 67P: Landed on
Whales: Calm
Scientists: [Wine]
Harpoons: Tricky
Dolphins and Fish: OK
Have we landed on a comet?: YES
Do harpoons work on comets: Don't know
Earth: !!!!!
Has anybody tried this before: Nope