826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)
|Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)|
|Explainxkcd note: Don't try and click on this image to see the exhibits. Visit the actual comic instead|
Title text: Guest comic by Zach Weiner of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. When I was stressed out, Zach gave me a talk that was really encouraging and somehow involved nanobots.
| This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: Not all sections are explained, maybe a picture for each should be posted here.|
If you can address this issue, please edit the page! Thanks.
The entire comic is a hypothetical "Smithsonian Museum of Dad-Trolling, an entire building dedicated to deceiving children for amusement." That explains it pretty well.
 The Hall of Misunderstood Science
Each exhibit is a display set up to reinforce the false answers to typical questions that children may ask their fathers about scientific topics. The answers given involve just enough information that the child may be satisfied with the answer and repeat it to others while maintaining the irony for adults that the answers are obviously misleading or false.
 Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience
This section holds falsehoods that a dad might use to frighten his children. It is an interactive experience, so visitors can try something for themselves, then learn the frightening fact it indicates.
Helium makes your voice high-pitched, which visitors are told is a sign they are about to explode.
Your middle finger is always longer than the others, so this test will always tell visitors they are an alien half-breed.
Cherries are a common ingredient in Jello cups, but the exhibit implies that the cherry is actually a rabbit brain.
 Conservatory of Poorly Remembered History
 Rotunda of Uncomfortable Topics
The "naked wrestling" appears to be sex.
The "big tummies before babies come" obviously refers to pregnancy.
Sidestepping around the death of a loved one is common with young children to spare them the sorrow of death; this takes it a step further by saying that the child's grandmother went to Saturn.
The Bathrooms have 3 doors. Clicking reveals that there is one for each gender of humans, and one for "Korgmen & Spangs".
- In the spirit of xkcd I present a proposal for a new Smithsonian museum:
- The Smithsonian Museum Of Dad-Trolling
- An entire building dedicated to deceiving children for amusement
- (Click to view exhibits!)
- The top left room is 'The Hall of Misunderstood Science'. It contains six exhibits.
- Exhibit: A giant basilisk looms over children.
- Exhibit label: BASILISKS: Real, deadly, under your bed.
- Exhibit: Four magnets hang from a square arch. A child is touching two of them together.
- Text on the arch: Magnets only leap at each other when they're teenagers. Later, they lose interest.
- Exhibit: A child on his dad's shoulders looks up at a looming statue of Jesus behind a lectern. There are flakes falling from Jesus onto them both.
- Exhibit label: Snow is Jesus' dandruff. His scalp gets dry when it's cold.
- Exhibit: A child lies asleep, while hands and a scary face reach up around the bed toward him.
- Exhibit label: Sleep: Now you're vulnerable to the boogie man!
- Exhibit: An ice block sits on a stand in front of pictures of a wolf and rhinoceros looking frightened.
- Exhibit label: Freezing water: Expands to frighten predators.
- Exhibit: An insect on a stick is orbited by a small sphere.
- Exhibit label: Anti-matter: Matter that is more than 50% ants.
- Exhibit: A DNA strand with the letters T, A, C, and G hanging around it.
- Exhibit label: DNA only has four letters because the alphabet was smaller back then.
- Dad, to child: Told you so.
- Exhibit: A bunch of molecules hang from the ceiling.
- Exhibit label: Molecules? In my day, we only had atoms!
- The top right room is 'Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience'. There are four exhibits.
- Exhibit: Five balloons float tethered to a table. A child is holding a sixth balloon. The Dad looks alarmed.
- Sign on exhibit: If this helium makes your voice go higher, it's because you're ten seconds from exploding.
- Exhibit: An alien face is shown above an outline of several hands next to a ruler. A child holds his hand up to it.
- Sign on exhibit: Measure your middle finger. If it's longer than the others, you're an alien halfbreed.
- Exhibit: Three cups are on a table. A child is walking away with a fourth cup, the dad's arm around the child's shoulder.
- Exhibit label: Has anyone seen my rabbit brain? It looks like a cherry, and I dropped it in a Jello cup.
- Exhibit: A monstrous set of jaws open upward around a bed.
- Sign on exhibit: Make your bed or monsters will know a kid lives there.
- The center right room is 'Concessions'. There are three booths.
- Booth: A concession stand is labeled 'KFP', and displays a KFC-style bucket. A dad and child are eating.
- Dad: The "P" is for "phoenix".
- Booth: A concession stand.
- Sign on stand: Ground beef: Beef we found on the ground.
- Dad, to child: Told you.
- Booth: A stand shaped like a giant eye.
- Booth label: EYES CREAM
- Subtitle: How did you think it was spelled?
- Sign on booth: Now with more of the goo in your eyes. Same as every other creamery.
- The lower left room is 'Conservatory of Poorly Remembered History'. There are five exhibits.
- Exhibit: A man is riding a dragon.
- Exhibit label: Genghis Khan: victory through dragons.
- Exhibit: A criminal in front of some windows.
- Exhibit label: The Crimean War: The first war against crime.
- Exhibit: A castle with flags hanging on it.
- Exhibit label: The Renaissance
- Subtitle: Long story short, the wizards were in control.
- Exhibit:A man in Jedi-style robes with a fake beard.
- Exhibit label: Star Wars is a documentary. No, seriously.
- Dad, to children: Kids, this man is a veteran.
- The lower right room is 'Rotunda of Uncomfortable Topics'. There are five exhibits.
- Exhibit: A wrestling ring, with a man and woman mostly obscured by the exhibit label.
- Exhibit label: Naked wrestling: perfectly normal. NEVER DO IT.
- Exhibit: a figure sits at a booth in front of a bowl of food. The dad is holding a bottle.
- Exhibit label: Alcohol is poison. I drink to save you from it.
- Dad: You're welcome.
- Exhibit: A large bird.
- Exhibit label: Mommies get big tummies before babies come because the stork likes chubby girls.
- Exhibit: A rocket ship.
- Sign on exhibit: Grandma's not dead. She just returned to Saturn. For REVENGE.
- In the areas outside the rooms, there are two more exhibits and restrooms, all clickable.
- Exhibit: A dinosaur skeleton.
- Exhibit label: That's right. Dinosaurs were made entirely of BONES.
- Dad, to kid: If you think about it, it makes sense.
- Exhibit: A large image hangs on the wall. It is a dense squiggly jumble of lines.
- Dad, to kids: You gotta squint juuust right.
- Sign on exhibit: Magic eye trick that doesn't actually work.
- Restrooms: There are three doors, each with a sign.
- First door (male logo): Men & Boys
- Second door (female logo): Women & Girls
- Third door (unrecognizable logo): Korgmen & Spangs