explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

Talk:2359: Evidence of Alien Life

2020-09-15T01:44:46Z

108.162.216.148:

[https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/phosphine Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal] also did a special issue this morning in honor of this announcement. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 20:02, 14 September 2020 (UTC)

I don't think the bottom left panel fits. If you read it as left side is jumping to wild conclusions, center having an appropriate conclusions, and the right said as avoiding coming to any conclusions, then 8/9 panels fit. The bottom left doesn't really fit. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.249|162.158.74.249]] 20:33, 14 September 2020 (UTC)mcstatz
: Definite Evidence means there's need to be leaping to wild conclusions as to their existence, it's already "definite". In this case, the wild conclusion would be the assumption that they are friendly and that touching them has no potential to be harmful. [[User:N0lqu|-boB]] ([[User talk:N0lqu|talk]]) 21:18, 14 September 2020 (UTC)
: Even if the aliens are initially friendly, are they going to interpret a hug as a hostile action? There's no way to know without understanding their culture. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.42.50|172.69.42.50]] 22:27, 14 September 2020 (UTC)
:: I travel 10 parsecs to a planet so primitive that they still think the digital watch is a neat idea and then somebody wraps their body around me, damn right I'm going to respond with force [[User:Kev|Kev]] ([[User talk:Kev|talk]]) 00:50, 15 September 2020 (UTC)
'''''BOOK/TV SHOW SPOILER''''' I wonder if the first panel (asteroid is probe) is a reference to the first season/book of ''The Expanse''? Or maybe I'm just thinking that because I've been watching the show myself haha. As an aside, if there is a proper spoiler feature here that will hide the comment, please edit this. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.186.136|162.158.186.136]] 23:08, 14 September 2020 (UTC)
:I'm pretty sure it's a reference to this: https://www.cbc.ca/news/technology/oumuamua-interstellar-visitor-1.4454180#:~:text=%27Weird%27%20rock%20Astronomers%20have%20discovered%20%27Oumuamua%20resembles%20worlds,%27Oumuamua%2C%20for%20example%2C%20has%20a%20significant%20carbon%20content. -monte [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.148|108.162.216.148]] 01:44, 15 September 2020 (UTC)

558: 1000 Times

2020-09-09T13:21:02Z

108.162.216.148: Fixed weird grammar

{{comic
| number = 558
| date = March 20, 2009
| title = 1000 Times
| image = 1000_times.png
| titletext = And 0.002 dollars will NEVER equal 0.002 cents.
}}

==Explanation==
When amounts of U.S. dollars (or other currencies of comparable size) in the millions, billions, or trillions are mentioned in conversation, the impression left by the cited number is not some specific amount, but rather some generically large amount of money. A billion is a thousand times larger than a million, but if one is not paying close attention, they both mentally register as being "very large" or "life-changing if they ended up in my bank account", rather than being as different as "one dollar" and "a thousand dollars" are.

In this comic, [[Randall]] notes how news organizations take advantage of this fact to make certain figures sound comparable, when the are actually not. The "{{w|Bailout}}" referred to is the 2008 {{w|Troubled Asset Relief Program}} (TARP), wherein money was cheaply loaned to large banks by the government to help them remain solvent. The "Bonuses" are the subsequent bonuses paid by those banks to their employees.

Citing the size of the bailout in billions and the size of the bonuses in millions gives the misleading impression that the bulk of the bailout was spent on bonuses - in particular to the very traders who caused the problem that cause the need for TARP in the first place - making for much more outrageous and therefore attention-grabbing story. While the news organizations are not ''lying'' per se, citing the figures using the same unit makes it clearer that the bonus payments were a tiny fraction of the bailout which is not as obviously outrageous. The news organizations, as news organizations are, were choosing the presentation that was most attention-grabbing over the presentation that conveys the information most accurately.

Below the two comic panels Randall asks the news organizations to stop using this way to misleadingly represent large numbers. He then proceeds to compares the difference between a million and a billion using an analogue that a newscaster may understand. Proportionally speaking, if a million is like Randall taking a sip of wine and spending 30 seconds (presumably talking over the wine) with your daughter, then a billion would be like him drinking a bottle of Gin and spending a night with her (presumably having drunken sex with her). Note that a billion is 1000 millions, and 1000 times 30 seconds does indeed equal 8 hours and 20 minutes, or about "one night". And a bottle of gin (750 mL, 40% ABV) contains 1000 times as much alcohol as a small sip of wine (3 mL, 10% ABV)

The title text is a reference to a semi-famous case where {{w|Verizon Wireless}} [http://verizonmath.blogspot.com/2006/12/verizon-doesnt-know-dollars-from-cents.html quoted] a rate of 0.002¢ (which equals $0.00002) per kB on their data plan, but charged $0.002. They could not see the difference.

==Transcript==
:[Two almost identical panels are shown with Ponytail sitting behind desk. Above each panel there are a caption and the text in the sign of each panel is slightly different]

:[Left panel caption above and sign in the panel:]
:Dishonest
:Sign:
::Bailout: $170 billion
::Bonuses: $165 million

:[Right panel caption above and sign in the panel:]
:Honest:
:Sign:
::Bailout: $170,000 million
::Bonuses: $165 million

:[Caption below the panels:]
:Dear news organizations: Stop giving large
:numbers without context or proper comparison.

:The difference between a million and a
:billion is the difference between me having a
:sip of wine and 30 seconds with your daughter,
:and a bottle of gin and a night with her.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:News anchor]]
[[Category:Sex]]

Talk:2271: Grandpa Jason and Grandpa Chad

2020-02-21T18:41:24Z

108.162.216.148: Same time edit, sorry

Is the Title Text a callback to 2268 with the "no further research is needed" comment? [[User:Stickfigurefan|Stickfigurefan]] ([[User talk:Stickfigurefan|talk]]) 17:58, 21 February 2020 (UTC)
*That was the first thing that came to my mind. Since researching when people named Jason and Chad became grandparents is far from a top research priority, one can indeed say that further research is not "needed". That said, though, I would have liked to have seen the female counterparts, to indicate what "Grandma" names are also coming into vogue now. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.195|162.158.74.195]] 18:05, 21 February 2020 (UTC)
*Looks like I may have edited the page at the same time as someone else. Sorry about that! [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.148|108.162.216.148]] 18:41, 21 February 2020 (UTC)

2271: Grandpa Jason and Grandpa Chad

2020-02-21T18:38:48Z

108.162.216.148: Title text explanation

{{comic
| number = 2271
| date = February 21, 2020
| title = Grandpa Jason and Grandpa Chad
| image = grandpa_jason_and_grandpa_chad.png
| titletext = The AARP puts the average age of a first-time grandparent close to 50, and the CDC has some data. But I don't have first-parent age distributions for specific names, or generational first-child age correlations, so the dotted line is just a guess. Still, let's be honest: No further research is really *needed.*
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a GRANDPA NAMED CHAD. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
The title text ends with the text "No further research is really *needed.*", which is a callback to this earlier comic: https://xkcd.com/2268/

Jason and {{w|Chad (slang)|Chad}} are names associated with stereotypical young, partying bros who couldn't care less about responsibility, so the idea that statistically some of them are now having grandchildren is weird to say the least.

The title text contains a reference to [[2268: Further Research is Needed]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Birth years of people becoming grandparents this year (United States, very rough estimate)

Birth years of people named "Jason" and "Chad" (Social Security data)

Fun fact: We have now entered the era of "Grandpa Jason" and "Grandpa Chad."

{{comic discussion}}

Talk:2264: Satellite

2020-02-06T03:25:31Z

108.162.216.148:

I don't care what tech hasn't been invented yet. I want one. --[[User:Blacksilver|Blacksilver]] ([[User talk:Blacksilver|talk]]) 02:28, 6 February 2020 (UTC)

But if we kept them around, that's less material we have to lift into orbit during Dyson sphere construction. *There are too many stars. It's been freaking me out.* (#975) [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.148|108.162.216.148]] 03:25, 6 February 2020 (UTC)

2263: Cicadas

2020-02-03T21:33:18Z

108.162.216.148: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2263
| date = February 3, 2020
| title = Cicadas
| image = cicadas.png
| titletext = After a while you adjust to the new cicadian rhythm.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a CICADA GENE in 17 seconds. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:Cueball: What can you tell from genome comparison?
:Ponytail: I think there's a duplication on the --
:Ponytail: ''Look out!''

BZZZZZZZ

:Ponytail: -- a duplication on the gene right before the cleavage site, so the resulting protein --
:Ponytail: ''Look out!''

BZZZZZZZ

[Caption below the strip:]
Our genetics work has produced 17-second cicadas, but we're having a hard time figuring out how.

{{comic discussion}}

Talk:2005: Attention Span

2018-06-11T16:29:04Z

108.162.216.148: Omnibus and connections to Railsea

Do you think the book being referenced is a Dragon Lance book?[[Special:Contributions/162.158.106.24|162.158.106.24]] 04:33, 11 June 2018 (UTC)
: Sounds like a Wheel of Time omnibus, if such a thing actually exists. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.148|108.162.216.148]] 16:29, 11 June 2018 (UTC)

The comic contains a hyperlink to what appears to be exactly the kind of article Cueball apparently "''just'' finished reading", or at least my mobile reader is picking up a hyperlink. I've added a small note about this; I'm not linking the article directly for personal reasons. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.227|108.162.221.227]] 05:51, 11 June 2018 (UTC)
: I linked it. If it's linked in the original then it should be here, too. Maybe it belongs more to the trivia section, I don't know, but it definitely has to be shown here somewhere. On a side node: did Randall ever do something like that before? [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 06:53, 11 June 2018 (UTC)
:: Linking other content behind the image? Yes, I think he did it several times before. The only actual comic I remember, however, is [[351: Trolling]]. --[[User:YMS|YMS]] ([[User talk:YMS|talk]]) 09:17, 11 June 2018 (UTC)
:Considering that the link contains a link to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jltKnDlH_OA I believe that omission is no an option [[Special:Contributions/162.158.234.58|162.158.234.58]] 09:51, 11 June 2018 (UTC)
:::[[1723: Meteorite Identification]], [[1506: xkcloud]], [[1572: xkcd Survey]]... just to name a few more. [[User:Herobrine|Herobrine]] ([[User talk:Herobrine|talk]]) 09:55, 11 June 2018 (UTC)
:::: Ah, very well :) The difference between those three and this one and 351 is that in the latter the link is "hidden". The others say "Click here" either directly or in alt-text. And in xkcloud it isn't an external link. Whatever. Maybe we should consider making a category of them? [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 11:04, 11 June 2018 (UTC)

I must admit to never having watch the seminal movie Surf ninjas but wikipedia tells me there is not only a novelisation, by A L Singer (Peter Lerangis) but also the screenplay.

I once advanced the theory that Sodor is the future of Mordor after the machines won and evolved into trains. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.51|162.158.62.51]] 12:46, 11 June 2018 (UTC) Jedman67
: Sounds like Mieville's Railsea. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.148|108.162.216.148]] 16:29, 11 June 2018 (UTC)

Talk:1962: Generations

2018-03-04T22:49:22Z

108.162.216.148:

Table guy! Maybe this could be a table with "Year", "Generation Name", "References" and "Speculation". Or something. [[Special:Contributions/198.41.230.172|198.41.230.172]] 17:31, 2 March 2018 (UTC)

The highlighted generations are clearly the ones Pew Research named, but I can't figure out why Randall's numbers don't seem to match Pew's here: http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/05/11/millennials-surpass-gen-xers-as-the-largest-generation-in-u-s-labor-force/ft_15-05-11_millennialsdefined/ [[User:TheAnvil|TheAnvil]] ([[User talk:TheAnvil|talk]]) 17:37, 2 March 2018 (UTC)

—••— means X in Morse code [[User:Inexorably advancing wall of ice|Inexorably advancing wall of ice]] ([[User talk:Inexorably advancing wall of ice|talk]]) 18:21, 2 March 2018 (UTC)

But seriously, it was funny the first time. I'm sorry for the above incomplete tag in the comments{{Citation needed}},but it feels like most comics since maybe #1900 ([[1914: Twitter Verification]] comes to mind...) have this kind of thing for their incomplete tag. Maybe if it's spaced out more, instead of put into nearly every comic nowadays, it won't be so much of a problem. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.75.184|162.158.75.184]] 18:02, 2 March 2018 (UTC)
: If you can address this problem, please edit the user. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.155.26|162.158.155.26]] 23:04, 2 March 2018 (UTC)
::Removed the incomplete tag, changed the citation needed tag into the correct one. Dude, please don't do that again, it's not funny, just seriously annoying. The incomplete tag is not there for you to abuse. [[User:Herobrine|Herobrine]] ([[User talk:Herobrine|talk]]) 12:07, 3 March 2018 (UTC)
:::Oh, and now that I've finally caught up to you, 162.158.155.26, please check your talk page. [[User:Herobrine|Herobrine]] ([[User talk:Herobrine|talk]]) 12:07, 3 March 2018 (UTC)

Can someone help me? [[User:Halo422|Halo422]] ([[User talk:Halo422|talk]]) 20:20, 2 March 2018 (UTC)

What's the emoji 2000-2017? [[Special:Contributions/172.68.141.214|172.68.141.214]] 21:05, 2 March 2018 (UTC)
:I think I found it: 💅 [https://emojipedia.org/nail-polish/ "nail-polish"] (Comes up very different on different systems) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.79.233|162.158.79.233]] 21:20, 2 March 2018 (UTC)
:Couldn't this emoji, and hence the title "Generation 💅", refer to the rise of nail care salons or manicure salons during the recent years? I don't know about other countries, but at least in certain parts of Europe, Germany in particular, there seems to be such a boom of this kind of establishments that I often wonder how they survive and open even more such businesses, even though it appears there's more nail salons than (manicured) nails in town. [[User:Passerby|Passerby]] ([[User talk:Passerby|talk]]) 20:56, 4 March 2018 (UTC)

I have to believe the 1748 - 1765 generation is some form of "Long s" such as U+1E9C or U+1E9D [[Special:Contributions/162.158.79.233|162.158.79.233]] 21:12, 2 March 2018 (UTC)

: It looks more like a forte ([https://www.fileformat.info/info/unicode/char/1d191/index.htm U+1D191]). I'm not sure why that would be funny—maybe because of [[Wikipedia:fortepiano|fortepiano]]s? [[Special:Contributions/172.69.69.214|172.69.69.214]] 21:43, 2 March 2018 (UTC)
::My position comes from the fact that documents written by this generation (i.e. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long_s#/media/File:Long-s-US-Bill-of-Rights.jpg Declaration of Independance] and the US Constitution) are noted for having this letter form. The script form of the long s looks like what Randall has written, which, to your point, looks like a "forte" [[Special:Contributions/162.158.79.233|162.158.79.233]] 22:51, 2 March 2018 (UTC)
::: Actually, it quite clearly is '''not''' long s. Long s only has the tic on the left side of the main stroke, not on both sides as is the case here. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.78.118|162.158.78.118]] 22:24, 3 March 2018 (UTC)

Hitler was born in 1889, about three years before the "Oops, one of us is Hitler" generation ... --[[Special:Contributions/141.101.105.240|141.101.105.240]] 21:37, 2 March 2018 (UTC)

Can someone who's a big Trekkie than I am help explain the dates for ''Star Trek: The Next Generation''? If we're going off of the events of the show + movies, it seems to start well before the events of the show and end before the last of the movies. [[User:PvOberstein|PvOberstein]] ([[User talk:PvOberstein|talk]]) 21:49, 2 March 2018 (UTC)
:Year 2378 may be explained by last episode of Voyager happening that year, but no idea about year 2360. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 00:59, 3 March 2018 (UTC)
::Year 2360 is when the humans who became adults (18) in 2378 were born. This time-span is probably when the majority of human TNG characters would have been born (not necessarily notable ones). This is similar to how people born in 1982 became the first new adults in the new millenium. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.46.143|172.68.46.143]] 05:02, 3 March 2018 (UTC)

Filled in most of the table with explanations (I'm pretty sure most of the latter generation names are references to potential transhumanist futures), but I'm not sure what "Second-Greatest" Generation refers to unless it's about the Civil War. Also, I'm not entirely certain whether the generation before the gilded one was cut a lot of slack. And I'll let someone more versed in standard sociological history fill in the common reasons for the core 20th century generations.[[User:WingedCat|WingedCat]] ([[User talk:WingedCat|talk]]) 22:49, 2 March 2018 (UTC)

;Paperclip machine
I think the paperclip machines refer to the browser game "Universal Paperclips", where paperclip machines take over the universe. [http://www.decisionproblem.com/paperclips/index2.html]. Best regards, [[Special:Contributions/172.68.110.10|172.68.110.10]] 11:55, 3 March 2018 (UTC)

The incomplete explination tag seemed to be a useless joke, so I deleted it.

;Ω
Wow that’s a lot of speculation on the Ω generation! 177 words of it! Who knew people could imagine so much inspired by a single character (and no historical context to extrapolate from). Personally, I tend to think of it as the “resistance generation” given my electronic background 😜. [[User:PotatoGod|PotatoGod]] ([[User talk:PotatoGod|talk]]) 15:11, 4 March 2018 (UTC)

Why is there an incomplete tag in the transcript? What's wrong with it? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.148|108.162.216.148]] 22:49, 4 March 2018 (UTC)

1894: Real Estate

2017-09-25T18:09:54Z

108.162.216.148: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1894
| date = September 25, 2017
| title = Real Estate
| image = real_estate.png
| titletext = I tried converting the prices into pizzas, to put it in more familiar terms, and it just became a hard-to-think-about number of pizzas.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

In this comic, [[Cueball]] is speaking with [[Ponytail]], his real estate agent, about an ongoing negotiation over the price of a house he is looking to buy. This is probably his first time buying a house and he is very overwhelmed by the process, a very common feeling among first-time home buyers. The housing market is so complicated and ever-changing, that it is almost impossible for the layman to have any concept of what a piece of property is worth. One must rely on the opinions of their real estate agent, building inspector, friends and family, along with research regarding the housing market in the area (average property values, what houses recently sold for, etc). Telling the agent that you need time to think about it is a good strategy to stall for time and research further while seeming to know what you're doing.

In the caption [[Randall]] makes it seem that he is in Cueball's situation in any financial negotiation, not only for such large ones as when buying real estate.

In the title text Randall mentions that he tried to convert the prices into the equivalent numbers of pizzas that amount could buy. Thinking of the price of an object (or a reduction in the price) in terms of the number of pizzas (or similar objects) that amount could buy is a good strategy for weighing the pros and cons of a smaller purchase, but doesn't help in this situation, as the number of pizzas is so large that it becomes meaningless in itself. A better strategy would be to compare the large price to his average monthly cost of living (rent, utility bills, car payments, et al).

This comic is in line with the much older [[616: Lease]] and the more recent [[1674: Adult]] regarding buying real estate and now feeling grown up (see also [[905: Homeownership]]).

==Transcript==
:[Ponytails and Cueball sits in office chairs on either side of a desk. Ponytail looks at a piece of paper she is holding in her hand, more papers lie on the table. Cueball sits with his hands in his lap, thinking in a thought bubble before he replies to her remark.]
:Ponytail: The sellers offer to drop their price by $10,000 ''and'' cover the driveway repairs.
:Cueball [thinking]: These are all staggeringly large amounts of money that I have no idea how to even ''think'' about, let alone compare.
:Cueball [speaking]: Tempting. We'll need a few hours to consider it.

:[Caption below the panels:]
:Me in any financial negotiation.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category: Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category: Comics featuring Cueball]]

1890: What to Bring

2017-09-15T14:47:43Z

108.162.216.148:

{{comic
| number = 1890
| date = September 15, 2017
| title = What to Bring
| image = what_to_bring.png
| titletext = I always figured you should never bring a gun to a gun fight because then you'll be part of a gun fight.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Bare necessities, could use elaboration. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

A table based on variations of the phrase "never bring a knife to a gun fight", an idiom usually attributed to either {{w|Elmer Keith}} or ''{{w|The Untouchables (film)|The Untouchables}}''.

The third and fourth columns describe fighting (extinguishing) two types of fires -- wood and oil. Neither should be battled with knives or guns.{{Citation needed}}

The last column of the table is based on reactions to an {{w|Class B fire|oil fire}}, which should be extinguished by removing the oxygen (such as by covering it with a lid). Attempting to apply water to an oil fire will result in a very large, dangerous flame.

{| class="wikitable"
! Should you bring ... to ...
! scope="col"| a knife fight
! scope="col"| a gun fight
! scope="col"| a wood fire
! scope="col"| an oil fire
|-
! scope="row"| a knife
| If you bring a knife to a knife fight, you will be evenly matched with your opponent.
| If you bring a knife to a gunfight, you will be at a perilous disadvantage.
| Attempting to fight a wood fire with a knife will lead to you being burned.
| Attempting to fight an oil fire will lead to you being burned, in addition to causing metallic scrapes.
|-
! scope="row"| a gun
| Bringing a gun to a knife fight will leave your opponent at a perilous disadvantage.
| Bringing a gun to a gunfight will leave you {{w|Mexican standoff|evenly matched with your opponent}}.
| colspan="2"| Shooting either a wood or an oil fire is an ineffective way of extinguishing them.{{Citation needed}}
|-
! scope="row"| water
| colspan="2"| Splashing either a knife-wielder or a gunman with water will serve only to agitate your opponent.
| Wood fires are best extinguished with a well-aimed splash of water.
| Pouring water on an oil fire is notorious for creating huge fireballs, aggravating the situation even more.
|-
! scope="row"| a lid
| colspan="2"| Attempting to put a lid on the head of a knife-wielder or gunman will probably not help matters, as it may only serve to agitate said knife-wielder. There's a possibility that your attacker may be momentarily stunned by the surrealism of the situation, but even that will only buy you about a ten-foot running start. Though a metal lid with the right sort of handle could be a buckler used as a defence.
| Trying to put out a wood fire with a lid would require a lid bigger than can possibly be considered 'brought with'.
| An oil fire is best extinguished by cutting it off from oxygen; stovetop oil fires generally spawn in cooking pans, which often come with lids suited to making an airtight seal.
|}

The title text makes the observation that that when a knife and a gun are present at a fight, it is considered a knife fight. Only when two guns are present is it a gun fight. So, by never bringing a gun to a fight, you can never technically be a part of a gun fight (of course, this would also put you at a perilous disadvantage).

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

1809: xkcd Phone 5

2017-03-10T20:49:24Z

108.162.216.148: added a couple of possible meanings of the features, corrected a couple of typos

{{comic
| number = 1809
| date = March 10, 2017
| title = xkcd Phone 5
| image = xkcd_phone_5.png
| titletext = The phone will be collected by the toll operators and mailed back to you within 4-6 weeks.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Needs a lot more}}
This is the fifth entry in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone series]], and once again, the comic plays with many standard tech buzzwords to create a phone that sounds impressive but would actually be very impractical, especially with the front camera which would prevent it from going into a pocket. The previous comic in the series [[1707: xkcd Phone 4]] was released almost 8 months before this one.

===Table of features===
{| class="wikitable"
!Feature
!Explanation
|-
|'''Bluetooth speaker'''
| This is the only potentially useful feature of this phone as while a {{w|bluetooth}} speaker built in to the device would be no more useful for playing music from it than any other speaker it would enable other devices to play through your phone. This is perhaps a jab at the current trend of playing music or Internet content audibly in public through the tiny, tinny speaker embedded in most phones.
|-
|'''Stained-glass display'''
| Prevents seeing certain colors by tinting the display. {{w|Stained glass}} has traditionally been used for decorative windows in buildings.
|-
|'''Gallium chassis remains solid up to 85°F'''
| Many high-end electronic devices have chassis made of alloys of light metals such as magnesium or titanium. Besides being lightweight and of superior quality and durability than ordinary sheet steel or cheap plastic, these are often perceived as bragging points by the users, boasting about 'rare' metal chassis.

{{w|Gallium}} is a not-so-well known metal that has a very low melting point of 85 °F (or 29.7 °C), being one of only four metals (the other being mercury, rubidium and caesium) that are liquid near room temperature. Its melting point is lower than a healthy person's body temperature. Having a gallium smartphone chassis would be therefore very impractical because it will melt in user's bare hand and would require using some kind of insulating gloves. Besides it would have to be stored in a cool place and the internal electronics should have really good cooling, otherwise either the external or internal heat would melt the chassis.
|-
|'''Soundproof'''
| Presumably this means that speakers and microphone may not work.
|-
|'''Can feel pain'''
| This could mean either the phone feels pain inflicted upon it or feels the user's pain. Which meaning may become apparent when the chassis melts on contact with exposed skin and the phone is left with open wounds.
|-
|'''E-Z Pass partnership'''
|{{w|E-Z Pass}} is an account you put money into and you put a transmitter in your windshield so when you go through a toll booth you don't have to stop and pay by hand. However, this proposition is absurd, because you would lose the phone and still have to stop to pay the toll. The title text says that the phone will be returned to you after 4–6 weeks, which slightly mitigates the first problem, but you would still lose the phone for a month.
|-
|'''Foldable (once)'''
|Presumably you can "fold" it by snapping it in half but you can only do this once because the phone won't work otherwise. It may refer to the fact that a later version of iPhone had a weak spot that lead it to easily folding and breaking.
|-
|'''Screen transfers images to skin'''
| This could either mean the image displayed on the screen or potentially whatever the stained glass image itself is.
|-
|'''Retina storage'''
| This is a play on the name of Apple's prized "{{w|Retina Display}}". The joke may be in reference to Apple's possession of a trademark for the word "retina" in regards to computer equipment, which is made to seem absurd by the unusual use. It is not made clear whose retinas are meant to be stored. Could also be a reference to retinally implanted computers.
|-
|'''Background task automatically catches and eats Pokémon'''
| A reference to {{w|Pokémon Go}}, an augmented reality game where the goal to go to specific locations and play a mini-game in order to catch virtual creatures called pokemon. This phone apparently does it automatically, similar to the external device Pokémon Go Plus. However, it also eats them, which is something that is not part of the game and wouldn't be desirable.
|-
|'''Supercuts partnership'''
| {{w|Supercuts}} is an American hair salon chain that provides hair cuts and styling. The implication here is that the user can get a haircut by sticking their hair in the charging slot. This feature could actually be quite dangerous if the hair is not removed from the charging slot because the hair could melt or catch fire inside of the phone.
|-
|'''Squelch knob'''
|{{w|Squelch}} is a feature of two-way radios (CB, ham, etc) which quiets background noise when no signal is present. For a smartphone, perhaps this knob could control the "signal-to-noise" ratio of your Facebook feed or other social media platforms. It also takes the place of the headphone jack.
|-
|'''IBM buckling-spring Home button'''
|IBM {{w|Buckling spring|buckling-spring}} keyboards are favorites of geeks for the feeling of quality and auditory feedback (keys click loudly) they provide. The iPhone's Home button provides little to no such satisfaction when pressed.
|-
|'''Cot-caught merger switch'''
| This is a reference to the {{w|cot–caught merger}}, a linguistic change happening among English speakers, particularly in some parts of North America and the British Isles, which causes caught (previously pronounced "kawt") to be pronounced the same as cot (pronounced "kot").
|-
|'''60x optical zoom camera'''
|A powerful {{w|zoom lens|optical zoom}} is usually a desirable feature for cameras. However, as shown in the comic, it results in very bulky lens. For that reason, such lens are rarely used in smartphones, though there are some devices like the {{w|Samsung Galaxy Camera}} that have a similar design. This would seem to be a jab at the variety of add-on devices, including close-up lenses, handles and external flashes, that are currently in use to enhance the phone's ability to function like a camera.
|-
|'''Loran navigation'''
| {{w|LORAN}} (Long Range Navigation) was a precursor to modern {{W|Global Positioning System|GPS}} navigation, using land-based transmitters. Once developed for sea shipping, it is accurate to about 300 meters. The joke, of course, is that all modern smartphones have integrated GPS navigation which is far more accurate and available in more areas.
|-
|'''28-factor authentication'''
| An {{w|Authentication#Factors and identity|authentication factor}} is a way of proving one's identity. There are [http://www.nikacp.com/images/10.1.1.200.3888.pdf 3 generally recognized forms]: something you know, something you have, and something you are. It can be a password, a fingerprint, a physical key, etc.... Secure applications may include two or more factors, a common example is the "PIN and chip" system used with credit cards, where you need both the card and secret code to authorize a transaction. Many online services now provide two-factor authentication to protect against password-based attacks. 28-factor authentication would likely be very secure in theory but also so impractical that it would be unusable.
|-
|'''Hook shot'''
| The ''{{w|The Legend of Zelda|Legend of Zelda}}'' [http://zelda.gamepedia.com/Hookshot recurring weapon/tool], used to bring items to {{w|Link (The Legend of Zelda)|Link}} or bring Link closer to a goal. Likely a reference to ''{{w|The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild|Breath of the Wild}}.
|-
|}

The slogan "We're trying to catch up to Apple but refuse to skip numbers" is likely a reference to Samsung releasing the Note 7 after the Note 5, with no Note 6 in between, in an attempt to catch up to Apple's numbering, which was already to the iPhone 7, and when other companies have done similarly. Nevertheless there was no official iPhone 2 but here an [[xkcd Phone 2]] is available.

==Transcript==
:[An image of a smartphone with a large camera lens on its back is shown. Over the entire length the case is slightly rounded. Clockwise from the top the labels read:]
:Bluetooth speaker
:Stained-glass display
:Gallium chassis remains solid up to 85°F
:Soundproof
:Can feel pain
:E-Z Pass partnership: Phone can be dropped into coin basket to pay tolls
:Foldable (once)
:Screen transfers images to skin
:Retina storage
:Background task automatically catches and eats Pokémon
:Supercuts partnership: Trims hair fed into charging port
:Squelch knob
:IBM buckling-spring home button
:Cot-caught merger switch
:60x optical zoom camera
:Loran navigation
:28-factor authentication
:Hook shot

:[Below the phone:]
:Introducing
:<big><big>The XKCD Phone 5</big></big>
:''We're trying to catch up to Apple but refuse to skip numbers<sup>®</sup>™''
{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:xkcd Phones]]

Talk:1593: Play-By-Play

2017-02-20T07:26:33Z

108.162.216.148:

First!
Sorry. On a more serious note, is "how rude" a reference to the ugly guy on the first Star Wars? I'm sleepy and can't think well. [[User:Mikemk|Mikemk]] ([[User talk:Mikemk|talk]]) 05:41, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
:I strongly doubt it, since this is a completely unrelated topic to Star Wars [[Special:Contributions/162.158.38.231|162.158.38.231]] 06:07, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
:Also, the comic doesn't even include the phrase "how rude"... [[Special:Contributions/108.162.250.161|108.162.250.161]] 06:11, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
::Why is Star Wars and its trailer even mentioned? Completely unrelated. The trailer aired during a football game not baseball. If Randall was trying to make that point it would be as such. This is more akin to a non-sports minded son-in-law trying to enjoy the sport with his wife's father (been there done that). Or perhaps Randall is saying that baseball is having a hard time trying to attract new fans with all the scandals so baseball has turned to reeling in non-traditional fans who need the games rules and play-by-play toned down to an understandable level. Anything but Star Wars.--[[User:R0hrshach|R0hrshach]] ([[User talk:R0hrshach|talk]]) 15:56, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
::Sorry, I read "Wow. Rude" as "How rude." [[Special:Contributions/108.162.220.227|108.162.220.227]] 17:16, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Isn't the guy being yelled at in the "Wow. Rude." section the umpire? I think it's more likely that people would yell at an umpire (or maybe a coach) than any standard player. 21:19, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

The big issue I have is that he says there's no one else. There is the catcher. Would have made more sense to say two men are playing catch and someone else is rudely trying to hit the ball. Or that they're playing monkey in the middle... [[Special:Contributions/108.162.236.235|108.162.236.235]] 15:18, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

;Simple Words

Could someone check if this is an instance of Randall Munroe doing a comic using only the 1000 most commonly used words? It looks like it might be. {{unsigned ip|108.162.218.197}}

:Nope! Lots of difficult words like "Wow" and "shelves" and "teammates" {{unsigned ip|198.41.235.59}}
::Yes should this even be references in the trivia. I vote for deleting the trivia, as I do not see this as an example of Beret Guy trying to speak simple, he just uses other words because he do not know the baseball version for these. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 12:50, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

:I put the transcript and title text into Randall's word checker and came up with eleven words that didn't make the cut: "bat", "shelves", "wow", "rude", "teammates", "pillow", "rules", "yikes", "hopefully", "king", and "jail". --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.218.65|108.162.218.65]] 12:47, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
:Now that I've read ''Thing Explainer'', I have some guesses for what the simple word replacements could be:
:"bat"→"stick", "None of his teammates are"→"No one else on his team is", "pillow"→"plate", "Hopefully"→"I hope".
:--[[Special:Contributions/173.245.63.144|173.245.63.144]] 17:37, 26 February 2016 (UTC) (Same guy as 108.162.218.65 above.)

;Surreal

I do not see this as surreal at all. His description is spot on, assuming that he knows nothing about the game.--[[Special:Contributions/141.101.79.73|141.101.79.73]] 06:32, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

What's surreal is the (somewhat implausible) scenario where someone who knows nothing about baseball (or softball, I suppose. Or sport...) whould be commentating on a game.[[User:ChrisBedford|ChrisBedford]] ([[User talk:ChrisBedford|talk]]) 06:46, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
: That's not surreal. That's ironic. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.237.81|108.162.237.81]] 15:11, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
:: It's also business as usual. "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lrrx5CgdZaA And that happened!]"--[[Special:Contributions/108.162.242.127|108.162.242.127]] 15:54, 3 November 2015 (UTC)
;Pillow

Why is beret guy talking about a pillow? [[Special:Contributions/173.245.49.125|173.245.49.125]] 07:12, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

:I read it as a reference to the points on the field (“bases”?) that the runner has to go around. The ones that are used as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baseball_metaphors_for_sex a euphemism for touching genitalia]. --[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.236|141.101.104.236]] 07:19, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
::See [[540: Base System]]! --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 12:50, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
: Historically, the bases were made from stuffed fabric, they were essentially pillows.[[User:Tverma|Tverma]] ([[User talk:Tverma|talk]]) 08:15, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

;Baseball and cricket

Not being American, and never having watched a game of baseball in my life, this sounds like pretty much the way I would see baseball. Americans can get the same effect by watching a game of cricket. [[User:GreenWyvern|GreenWyvern]] ([[User talk:GreenWyvern|talk]]) 07:28, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
:Until he said "second pillow" I wasn't sure if it was commentary on baseball or cricket.[[User:Tverma|Tverma]] ([[User talk:Tverma|talk]]) 08:05, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
::Agreed, when you never have watched a full game of baseball even the explanation above is not enough to understand the rules and events he is talking about. So spot on ;-) We only play this in early school as we think it is a kids game (probably like many Americans consider soccer?) --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 12:50, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
:::And just like the football/'soccer' difference in naming local variants in Association Football, our baseball is generally called 'rounders'. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.75.185|141.101.75.185]] 13:21, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

:While the description of the game might match someone who never saw any baseball, the failure to identify cheering and heckling suggest he never saw ANY game nor other sport event, which seems improbable. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 12:25, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
::Although not for Beret Guy! --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 12:50, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Main text says the words are not part of the "10,000" common words. But Randall's simplespeak is only a 1000 word corpus -- ten hundred. <digressing rant> That's somewhat irrelevant given the dubious qualities of Randall's simplespeak anyway. "bat" for example is a common word that kids learn early in kindergarten and elementary school when they learn the CVC pattern, not to mention it's a fairly common theme for Halloween and children books. Same goes to some of the other words. "wow" is not a word but an onomatopoeia, and "rude" is a basic English word known to everybody {{Citation needed|}}. Somewhere along the line, followers forgot this is all a game and are taking it way too seriously. </rant> [[User:Ralfoide|Ralfoide]] ([[User talk:Ralfoide|talk]]) 16:48, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

;Variant games

It might be interesting to mention which comments by the Beret Guy lead to the elimination of other ball and bat games, especially when only a single comment does so. For instance, it looks like the description of the game would also fit [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pes%C3%A4pallo pesäpallo], a Finnish ball and bat game, save that in that game you don't throw the ball at the batter. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.164|173.245.54.164]] 13:37, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

This comic makes me think of this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptrSoRSq8vw&feature=youtu.be [[User:Macarthur1950|Macarthur1950]] ([[User talk:Macarthur1950|talk]]) 20:27, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

It reminded me of this IT-crowd scene (never actually watched the IT crowd, just seen the video) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjC38Z4T6zc [[User:Jack|Jack]] ([[User talk:Jack|talk]]) 22:15, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

It's amusing to see various games ruled out in the notes. The one game that can't be ruled out is Calvinball. Being utterly random, there is a possibility that at the moment Beret Guy is commenting that the game overlaps the rules of baseball. {{unsigned ip|199.27.128.82}}

:It can also be Nomic :D. --[[Special:Contributions/198.41.235.155|198.41.235.155]] 05:06, 9 November 2015 (UTC)

The chair shelves are the bunker, not the bleachers, no? This would make the people yelling from the chair shelves his team mates, providing "noise" and instructions about where to hit the ball?
AFAIK In pro baseball, it's a slightly recessed secure box from which they send "signals" to the batter, telling them what to do -- either bunt, hit left field, keep infield, allow the steal, etc
The batter has to not acknowledge the signals, and that way the fielding team doesn't know whether there was actually a signal sent at all. The psych strategy has the hitting team constantly send random signal "noise" i.e. movements that look like they *might* be signals, but mean nothing. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dugout_(baseball) Bottom picture on the page shows the chair in the dugout (bench) and the plastic seats the crowd is in (basically the same as in any other stadium) https://www.google.com.au/search?q=dugout&es_sm=122&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAWoVChMIhMiVt9DUyAIVYjimCh1JKw9N&biw=1549&bih=965#imgrc=dtPIvP1bSgcIMM%3A Importantly, dugout benches are often mounted to the dugout wall. Whereas bleachers (stadium seats) are mounted on poles attached to the ground. This, in my mind, makes me think that "chair shelves" would need to be wall-mounted, therefore dugout. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.2.217|162.158.2.217]] 22:52, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
:Not at all. Most dugouts are actual benches. Hes talking about the folding chairs in the stands.
https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT8wD8kiPsUKZz9dqfSgiQE3vztPd0rj60WDKKCVDxdMDSM2_dzbA

Notice they mount to the wall behind them. Some don't but some do. His explanations aren't perfect presumably because Randall isnt a baseball fan. Everyone is way over thinking this. {{unsigned ip|173.245.54.60}}

;Second Pillow
The text currently complains that Beret Guy wouldn't know which pillow was second, but this is the fifth period, folks! Beret Guy is not dumb just lacking experience. It's not unreasonable that enough runners have reached the second pillow or even gotten all the way back to the house pillow and given up, for Beret Guy to figure that out. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.236.175|108.162.236.175]] 14:06, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

;Reference
Could this also be a reference to all the nerds being 'forced' to watch Monday night football to watch the new The Force Awakens trailer released just two days before this comic? {{unsigned ip|162.158.255.82}}

It reminds me of the scene in OotP where Luna referees a Quidditch match SPECTACULARLY.
("Loser's Lurgy", ha ha ha) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.72.191|162.158.72.191]] 21:38, 4 December 2015 (UTC)

;The inning
he says their on part five of hitting game could that also mean their in the top of the third {{unsigned ip|Fdfpi47}}
:I'd say it's possible. Since it's likely Beret Guy is watching the game live in front of him, he may not know the distinction of top/bottom innings. --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.223.239|108.162.223.239]] 05:45, 23 October 2015 (UTC)

;Title
Can someone please explain the title "play-by-play"? --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.114.149|162.158.114.149]] 22:28, 22 October 2015 (UTC)
:In sport reporting, [http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/play-by-play play-by-play] means giving detailed descriptions (in some level) of the events happening on the field. --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.223.239|108.162.223.239]] 05:45, 23 October 2015 (UTC)

;Isn't there another comic where Beret Guy uses all the wrong words for things?

I just can't remember which one it is... [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.116|173.245.54.116]] 17:41, 23 October 2015 (UTC)

:Neither do I. I ''do'' remember he said stuff like "stick trees" or whatever. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.72.191|162.158.72.191]] 21:26, 4 December 2015 (UTC)

:: It was this one: https://xkcd.com/1322/ [[Special:Contributions/199.27.130.198|199.27.130.198]] 08:43, 9 January 2016 (UTC)

Any significance to the fact that Beret Guy is apparently wearing Beats brand headphones? Sportscasters generally do not use such, maybe another indicator of his inexperience? [[User:Miamiclay|Miamiclay]] ([[User talk:Miamiclay|talk]]) 02:34, 25 October 2015 (UTC)

;Stolen Base
If the runner ran to second base and no one noticed, wouldn't that imply that there was no attempt to get the runner out? If so, wouldn't that be [http://www.baseball-reference.com/bullpen/Defensive_Indifference Defensive Indifference] instead of a stolen base? {{unsigned ip|108.162.216.51}}

;Fourth panel
Isn't "This thrower is good! He keeps making people leave by throwing balls at them." more likely a reference to the pitcher hitting the batters and advancing them to first base, rather than just walking them (or striking them out)? That interpretation would make Beret Guy's assessment of the pitcher's performance completely wrong (he's actually rather bad, not good), which seems to fit better with the tone of the comic. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.90.220|162.158.90.220]] 06:47, 28 October 2015 (UTC)

I think that when he says "it's just him though" he means that the pitcher is the only one throwing balls at the batter. Implying that he thinks the other player might be allowed to do so but are choosing not to. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.148|108.162.216.148]] 07:26, 20 February 2017 (UTC)

Talk:622: Haiku Proof

2017-01-10T23:57:26Z

108.162.216.148:

A prime number must also be a natural number greater that one. {{unsigned|‎204.8.8.13}}

I removed the paragraph about the haiku being off, as it is not "top prime's divisors," but "top prime's divisors' " (notice the second apostrophe). So the question is actually what the (prime) factors of the product of all prime divisors plus one are. [[User:KillaBilla|KillaBilla]] ([[User talk:KillaBilla|talk]]) 21:57, 12 June 2014 (UTC)

: I've put it back, since the paragraph is correct - the proof is incorrect. That second apostrophe just means it is the product belonging to the top prime's divisors. The product of the top prime's divisors is just the top prime. --[[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.234|141.101.98.234]] 14:40, 5 April 2015 (UTC)
: "All primes' divisors'" would've been correct (although the "divisors" is still unnecessary). --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.254.185|108.162.254.185]] 10:16, 16 July 2015 (UTC)

I made a new poem:
The product of all-
Primes, plus one, divisors are?-
Q.E.D., ******s! [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.148|108.162.216.148]] 23:56, 10 January 2017 (UTC)

Talk:622: Haiku Proof

2017-01-10T23:56:18Z

108.162.216.148:

A prime number must also be a natural number greater that one. {{unsigned|‎204.8.8.13}}

I removed the paragraph about the haiku being off, as it is not "top prime's divisors," but "top prime's divisors' " (notice the second apostrophe). So the question is actually what the (prime) factors of the product of all prime divisors plus one are. [[User:KillaBilla|KillaBilla]] ([[User talk:KillaBilla|talk]]) 21:57, 12 June 2014 (UTC)

: I've put it back, since the paragraph is correct - the proof is incorrect. That second apostrophe just means it is the product belonging to the top prime's divisors. The product of the top prime's divisors is just the top prime. --[[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.234|141.101.98.234]] 14:40, 5 April 2015 (UTC)
: "All primes' divisors'" would've been correct (although the "divisors" is still unnecessary). --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.254.185|108.162.254.185]] 10:16, 16 July 2015 (UTC)

I made a new poem:
The product of all
Primes, plus one, divisors are?
Q.E.D., ******s! [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.148|108.162.216.148]] 23:56, 10 January 2017 (UTC)