explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

205: Candy Button Paper

2022-05-04T01:16:11Z

108.162.219.49:

{{comic
| number = 205
| date = January 3, 2007
| title = Candy Button Paper
| image = candy_button_paper.png
| titletext = Nonrewriteable tape?
}}

==Explanation==
This comic refers to {{w|Candy Buttons}}, a type of candy sold by Necco in the U.S. since 1980. Because they were glued to paper, each candy button would have some paper stuck to it. As said in the comic, some kids would carefully check each candy button to make sure they would not accidentally eat paper, while some kids didn't care and ripped them off, eating large scraps of paper in the process.

Because of the resemblance of the strips of paper to the tape of a {{w|Turing Machine}}, a small minority of children (possibly only [[Randall]] or some of his friends) pretended to be a Turing Machine by creating rules and executing them upon the tape of candy exactly like a real Turing Machine would do.

The title text refers to the fact that, although it would be hypothetically possible to create a Turing Machine that can only delete symbols, the information density of the tape would be greatly reduced, and the original Turing Machine could read and write from the tape it operated on.

==Transcript==
:When it came to eating strips of candy buttons, there were two main strategies. Some kids carefully removed each bead, checking closely for paper residue before eating.
:[To the right, a small section of a strip of Candy Buttons paper is shown. Two red buttons have been removed from the top of the strip.]
:
:[To the left, a long strip is shown. It seems to be waving in the air.]
:Others tore the candy off haphazardly, swallowing large scraps of paper as they ate.
:
:Then there were the lonely few of us who moved back and forth on the strip, eating rows of beads here and there, pretending we were Turing machines.
:[A strip is shown from bird's eye view. Many rows of buttons have already been eaten.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]

1255: Columbus

2022-05-04T01:13:58Z

108.162.219.49:

{{comic
| number = 1255
| date = August 23, 2013
| title = Columbus
| image = columbus.png
| titletext = And thus was smallpox introduced into the previously Undying Lands.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic starts with [[White Hat]] telling the two children shown on the first panel that Christopher Columbus knew the world was round, but that others believed it to be flat. However, this is a false narrative known as the {{w|Myth of the Flat Earth}}. Educated people in Columbus's time knew the world was round, and knew the approximate radius of the Earth. Columbus claimed that the distance to sail west from Canary Islands to Japan to be about 3,700 km, drastically lower than others believed, but {{w|Christopher Columbus#Geographical considerations|he was wrong about this}}. If another continent and the "{{w|West Indies}}" had not been fortuitously in the right place, Columbus and his crew probably would have died at sea.

As White Hat begins his explanation, Megan objects, though not explaining why. White Hat continues, so Megan interrupts, saying that Columbus went in a straight line as the world curved away, ending up in {{w|Valinor}} and the {{w|Undying Lands}}. Megan's story is an allusion to ''{{w|The Silmarillion}}'', by {{w|J. R. R. Tolkien}}, set in the same world as ''{{w|The Lord of the Rings}}'' and ''{{w|The Hobbit}}''. The claim that Columbus sailed on a tangent to the surface alludes to how the elves' ships leave the curved sea surface and sail in a straight line to reach Valinor on the same route that they sailed when the world was still flat. The mentions of a silmaril and the morning star are a reference to {{w|Eärendil|Eärendil the Mariner}}, the only mortal sailor to reach the Undying Lands, with one of the {{w|Silmaril}}s (though Eärendil's journey occurred at the end of the First Age and the world was only changed into a sphere near the end of the Second Age). Megan humorously conflates these myths, suggesting that they are all equally false. Columbus in fact wasn't the first to claim the world was round; the ancient Greeks had discovered it long before. It was, however, disputed by some Christian scholars {{w|Spherical_Earth#Late_Antiquity|in late antiquity}} due to disagreements over its congruence with biblical canon. In Megan's telling, Columbus ends up as the morning star, which is actually the planet {{w|Venus}} (the same fate as Eärendil's in Tolkien's mythology).

The joke is that when White Hat tells her to stop making up the story, Megan pointedly replies "You first", indicating that she originally complained about White Hat's retelling of the Columbus story because his account didn't really happen, and so he was also "making things up". Megan's fantasy tale was then delivered to make a point.

The title text refers to the {{w|Smallpox#History|transfer of smallpox}} to the Americas by Europeans, which caused the deaths of untold millions of Native Americans. The introduction of smallpox to the Undying Lands would indeed make their name ironic. However, the Undying Lands are named after immortal {{w|Valar}}, {{w|Maiar}}, and {{w|elf (Middle-Earth)|Elves}} living there, not because they confer immortality. A more proper name would be the Lands of the Undying, and Valar, Maiar, and Elves are not susceptible to diseases in Tolkien's mythos in any case.

Similar discussions between White Hat and Megan can be found in [[1605: DNA]] and [[1731: Wrong]], in the latter Megan even finishes with a similar *sigh* as she started with here.

==Transcript==
:[White Hat talks to two children sitting in front of him on the floor to the right. A boy with hair like Hairy with his arms round his knees and behind him Science Girl with two hair buns, sitting cross leged on her knees. Megan interrupts him from off-panel right.]
:White Hat: Everyone said the world was flat, but Columbus knew it was round.
:Megan (off-panel): *Sigh* no, no, no.

:[Megan walks in holding a hand palm up. White Hat partly lifts his arm closest to her. The children between them turn their heads towards her. The boy leans back on one hand.]
:Megan: So he took his ships and sailed west—
:Megan: —in a line tangent to the surface. The sea fell away, and he landed in ''Valinor.''

:[White Hat has taken his arm down, Megan holds her arms out to each side. The children still looks at her, now also Science Girl leans back on one arm.]
:Megan: A Silmaril on his brow, he wanders the heavens as the morning star, still believing he reached India.
:White Hat: Stop making stuff up.
:Megan: You first.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Science Girl]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]] 
[[Category:LOTR]]

1497: New Products

2022-05-04T01:13:04Z

108.162.219.49:

{{comic
| number = 1497
| date = March 11, 2015
| title = New Products
| image = new products.png
| titletext = If you ever hear "Wait, is that Kim Dotcom's new project? I'm really excited about it and already signed up, although I'm a little nervous about whether everyone should hand over control of their medical...", it's time to dig a bunker in your backyard.
}}
==Explanation==
This comic points out an apparent paradox in product performance: Many products that are [https://www.google.com/search?q=No+wireless+Less+space+than+a+nomad+Lame criticized by techies when first announced] go on to great success, and many that are heavily hyped are total flops. The product in question may be a reference to the {{w|Apple Watch}}, which was announced around the time of this comic's release.

{| class="wikitable"
! If they say...
! It means...
! Explanation
! Example
|-
|"It doesn't do anything new"
|rowspan="2"|The product will be a gigantic success.
|A product that "doesn't do anything new" may still be successful for a variety of reasons. It may in fact do something new that the engineers and programmers are overlooking, or it may simply be a better presentation of an older idea that so far hasn't caught on among the general public. This latter category is the completion of the life-cycle mentioned later in the comic, those products whose "ideas will show up in something successful."
|{{w|iPod}}, {{w|iPad}}
|-
|"Why would anyone want that?"
|If engineers and programmers can't figure out why anyone would want a product, it may be because the applications are highly avant-garde or niche (though that could make it hard for the product to be a mass success). Alternatively, engineers and programmers themselves often don't share the tastes and priorities of non-technical people, and are therefore unable to understand and accurately assess the appeal that a product will have to the masses.
|{{w|Twitter}}, {{w|MacBook Air}}
|-
|"Really exciting"
|rowspan="2"|The product will be a flop. Years later, its ideas will show up in something successful.
|rowspan="2"|Products that are "really exciting" to engineers and programmers, so much so that they have already pre-ordered them, may fail to succeed for various reasons, such as:
*The product is excellent, but costs too much for mass audiences.
*The product has an unintuitive interface or strange aesthetics, which techies are willing to "live with", but regular people are not.
*The product has bad marketing; the masses never "get" how good the product is.
*The product turns out to be "nerd bait" or {{w|vaporware}}, offering visionary ideas that aren't actually feasible yet.
When a later product is based on the same ideas, but without the mistakes, it will be worth billions. Then the techies will say "it doesn't do anything new".
|{{w|NeXT}}
|-
|"I've already preordered one"
|[http://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2014/07/how-one-kickstarter-project-squandered-3-5-million/ myIDkey]
{{w|Ubuntu Edge}}
|-
|"Wait, are you talking about <unfamiliar person's name>'s new project?"
|The product could be a scam and may result in arrests or lawsuits.
|If a product's developer's name is well-known among engineers and programmers, but not among the general public, that's usually not a good sign. Quite likely, the developer is someone who goes a step further than those in the previous category, not just announcing something cool and exciting they can't follow through on, but doing so ''knowing'' that they can't follow through yet still taking people's money. The state may press criminal charges against them (for fraud or such), or the angry investors may sue to get their money back.
|{{w|Shawn Fanning}}
|-
|"I would never put <company> in charge of managing my <whatever>"
|Within five years, they will.
|If engineers' and programmers' only objection is that they don't like the company behind the product, that's basically a tacit admission that there's nothing else wrong with it. For the average consumer, the perks of a groundbreaking new product outweigh whatever problems they may have with the company behind it. This category also relates to the numerous privacy concerns raised about the devices and software of certain companies, and the way people tend to get riled up about these issues and then forget about them once it becomes too inconvenient. For instance, a few months ago, in the aftermath of Facebook releasing its Messenger app, it would not be uncommon to hear people say "I would never put Facebook in charge of managing my network connectivity/phone calls/camera". However, 6 months later and barely anyone is complaining anymore, and within another year or so even the most hardline of privacy advocates will probably give in.
|[https://www.google.com/search?q=apple+OR+google+OR+microsoft+OR+amazon+OR+facebook+"is+evil" take your pick]
|}

The title text imagines a product that fits into the second, third and fourth categories:
* "Wait, is that Kim Dotcom's new project?" — third category
* "I'm really excited about it and already signed up." — both options from the second category
* "Although I'm a little nervous about whether everyone should hand over control of their medical..." — fourth category

{{w|Kim Dotcom}} is a controversial entrepreneur and [http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/who-kim-dotcom-timeline-his-life-1442384 convicted fraud]. He {{w|Kim Dotcom#Personal life|changed his surname}} to "Dotcom" because of the {{w|Dot-com bubble|dot-com stock market bubble}} that made him a millionaire. He fits perfectly into the mold of someone well-known to programmers and engineers (as well as New Zealanders), but perhaps not so much to your average Joe.

Taken together, these imply that an untrustworthy and potentially malicious company has an exciting new idea that may eventually come out in successful form, gains control of a large amount of medical information, but ultimately result in lawsuits not just from investors but from misled consumers (category 3). Because the initial release will be a flop (category 2), there is some time to prepare before the successful use of this idea becomes a reality (also category 2), at which point that or some other company will gain control of a large amount of people's medical something (category 4). Once this happens you could expect dramatic repercussions; this is why the title text suggests to dig a bunker while there is still time.

==Transcript==
:'''Predicting the success or failure of a new product'''
:based on what engineers and programmers are saying about it

:[A two-column table illustrating this. The headings are actually standing above the table.]
:{| class="wikitable alternance"
! If they say...
! It means...
|-
| "It doesn't do anything new"
|rowspan="2"|The product will be 
a gigantic success.
|-
| "Why would anyone want that?"
|-
| "Really exciting"
|rowspan="2"| The product will be a flop. 
Years later, its ideas will 
show up in something successful.
|-
|"I've already preorded one"
|-
| "Wait, are you talking about 
<unfamiliar person's name>'s 
new project?"
| The product could be 
a scam and may result 
in arrests or lawsuits.
|-
| "I would never put 
<company> in charge of 
managing my <whatever>."
| Within five years, they will.
|}

==Trivia==
*There is a spelling mistake in the comic: "preorded" should have been "preordered".

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people‏‎]]
[[Category:Programming]]

453: Upcoming Hurricanes

2022-05-04T01:11:26Z

108.162.219.49:

{{comic
| number = 453
| date = July 23, 2008
| title = Upcoming Hurricanes
| image = upcoming_hurricanes.png
| titletext = I'd like to see more damage assessments for hurricanes hitting New York and flooding Manhattan -- something like the 1938 Long Island Express, but aimed a bit more to the west. It's just a matter of time.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic gives ludicrous and ironic upcoming {{w|Tropical cyclone|hurricane}} paths on an unlabelled map of the {{w|Americas}} that shows the region roughly between central {{w|Canada}} and northern {{w|Brazil}}. Blue and red dotted lines indicate the future hurricane paths.

===Hurricanes===
====Hurricane Where-The-Hell-Is-Bermuda====
Enters from the east side of the map, wanders around the {{w|Atlantic Ocean}} in a scribble that seems to take the shape of an {{w|Ampersand}}. Then it goes north for a while, and then peters out without entering the {{w|Bermuda Triangle}}. The Bermuda Triangle is a location in the Atlantic Ocean loosely framed by the three corners {{w|Bermuda}}, {{w|Miami}}, and {{w|Puerto Rico}}. The myth is that (too) many ships and planes get lost once they enter inside the area of this triangle and disappear without a trace. In this case, the hurricane gets lost before entering and can't even find the triangle. It may also simply be a reference to the statistic that Bermuda is affected by {{w|List of Bermuda hurricanes|many Atlantic hurricanes}}, and that this hurricane got lost on its way to its target.

====Hurricane Illinois-Has-It-Too-Easy====
Comes from somewhere to the north-west, goes through {{w|Illinois}}, and then back to the north-west. Illinois is located far from the ocean, and thus suffers few hurricanes - this particular one is extremely unlikely, and according to the name, exists purely so that Illinois will have a hurricane to deal with. Interestingly enough (though it did not affect the Chicago area or correspond with the path displayed in the comic), roughly one year later, a {{w|Derecho|Super derecho}}, a storm resembling a hurricane or tropical storm in movement and form, {{w|May 2009 Southern Midwest derecho|struck}} central and South Illinois, in addition to much of {{w|Missouri}} and {{w|Kansas}}.

====Hurricane Freud====
Refers to {{w|Sigmund Freud}}, who believed that accidental sexual expression was a reflection of the unconscious mind's sexual desires. The hurricane's path forms a pair of testicles beside Florida. Florida, due to its shape and location, can be said to resemble a penis, and the hurricane's shape and position exemplify Freud's ideas.

====Hurricane Screw-It-Let's-Just-Trash-Florida-Again====
Comes from the east, starts to curve to the north, and then turns sharply to head straight for Florida and zigzag through it four times before dying out. Sticking out from the rest of the US, Florida is prone to hurricanes from the East, South, and West. And with the state not being very high or wide, it is common for a hurricane to run over Florida, lose some strength, then rebuild strength over the hot waters in the Gulf of Mexico, only to do a U-turn and strike again. This is not exactly what happens with this particular hurricane, where it turns out into the Atlantic Ocean again each time, suggesting a malicious intent.

====Hurricane Red and Hurricane Blue====
Blue is the only hurricane path drawn in blue. The two hurricanes are playing a game zipping in straight lines and right angles around {{w|Haiti}}, {{w|Jamaica}}, and {{w|Cuba}}. When ''Red'' successfully cuts off ''Blue'', the latter instantly dies, and then ''Red'' dies shortly thereafter. The game they play is the game of {{w|Tron_(video_game)#Light_Cycles|Light Cycles}} from the {{w|Tron_(video_game)|video game}} based on the movie ''{{w|Tron}}''. ''Hurricane Blue'' lost because it crashed into the wall of light left by ''Hurricane Red's'' {{w|Light_Cycle#Light_cycles|light cycle}}. (Note that real hurricanes are not dotted lines; the two hurricanes would have merged long before Hurricane Blue "lost.")

====Hurricane Cos(x)====
Forms a curve in the shape of a {{w|sinusoid}} above the bottom edge of the map. Its path resembles a {{w|sine}} wave. This kind of {{w|trigonometric functions}} can, however, both be expressed as sin(x) or cos(x), the latter being a {{w|cosine wave}}. They look exactly the same when there is no clearly defined coordinate system as in this case.

===Title Text===
The title text refers to the {{w|1938 New England hurricane}} (also known as the Long Island Express) that caused $4.7 billion in damage. Had it been further west, it could have caused more damage, as the right side of a hurricane is stronger and more destructive than the left side, as the winds on the right side push water inland. [[Randall]] asks for more damage assessments for such a hurricane that would be able to flood {{w|Manhattan}} in {{w|New York}}. Only four years after this cartoon was published, making it almost prophetic, {{w|Hurricane Sandy}} did strike the {{w|New York metropolitan area|New York–New Jersey area}} as a {{w|post-tropical cyclone}} storm. Hurricane Sandy caused an estimated $74 billion in damage.

The 1938 hurricane is also [[980:_Money/Transcript#Disasters|referenced]] in [[980: Money]], where it is calculated that it would have caused $78 billion had it happened in 2011. However, if that hurricane had taken the same turn as Sandy did, the cost today could have been a staggering $237 billion.

==Transcript==
:[An unlabelled map shows the region roughly between central Canada and northern Brazil. Dotted lines indicating hurricane paths cover the map, all red except Hurricane Blue, which is blue. Each line is labelled - here follows the labels as they appear from the top and down:]
:Hurricane Where-the-Hell-Is-Bermuda
:Hurricane Illinois-Has-It-Too-Easy
:Hurricane Freud
:Hurricane Screw-It-Let's-Just-Trash-Florida-Again
:Hurricane Red
:Hurricane Blue
:Hurricane cos(x)

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Hurricanes]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Penis]]

806: Tech Support

2022-05-04T01:09:56Z

108.162.219.49:

{{comic
| number = 806
| date = October 15, 2010
| title = Tech Support
| image = tech support.png
| titletext = I recently had someone ask me to go get a computer and turn it on so I could restart it. He refused to move further in the script until I said I had done that.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] runs into some problems with his network connection and contacts his Internet service provider's (ISP's) tech support for help. The customer service agent (represented by [[Hairy]]) is not very helpful, giving clearly pre-scripted advice that has nothing to do with Cueball's problem. Cueball gives up and asks to speak to an engineer, i.e. someone more knowledgeable about the technology and suggest to Hairy what to look for. Noticing a woman with black ponytail who has the stuffed {{w|Tux_(mascot)|Tux}} penguin on her desk and a poster of a bearded dude with swords (a reference to {{w|Richard Stallman}} particularly as he stands in [[345: 1337: Part 5]], and a reference to [[225: Open Source]]) he tells Cueball about her and Cueball recognizes the signs of a {{w|GNU}}/{{w|Linux}} geek and asks to talk to her. Hairy transfers him over to the engineer, who immediately recognizes the problem and fixes it. Then she tells him of a secret word (shibboleet - see below) which, if he speaks on the phone, will transfer him to a tech-savvy person able to help him, something installed already back in the 1990's by the geeks of that time. Cueball is elated but then at this point Cueball wakes up and unfortunately discovers the incident to be just a dream.

Poor customer and technical support is a common complaint of many ISPs. Many ISPs {{w|outsourcing|outsource}} their support staff to foreign countries to reduce costs, and/or they delegate first-tier support to workers with little or no training. Typically, these workers are given general scripts that prompt the customer to try common troubleshooting steps, such as restarting the computer, without any specific knowledge of the customer's complaint. While these scripts may help resolve problems for the average customer, a representative using such a script is usually unprepared to assist someone who has a more advanced problem. Furthermore, these scripts generally assume that the problem is on the customer's end and do not acknowledge problems that occur within the ISP, such as server or line problems.

Customers like Cueball in this comic often find it frustrating to deal with representatives reading from scripts. As [[Randall]] mentions in the title text, this frustration is magnified when the representative refuses to move on to the next step until the customer has performed the previous one, whether or not it necessary or helpful. In cases like this, it's often necessary to request an escalation to a higher "tier" of support, or to speak to a supervisor who presumably has more knowledge and/or influence, though even that can sometimes be a painful process. Thus, it is easy to see why Cueball would be elated to discover a way to automatically connect with the most helpful technical support representatives whenever he has a problem, and thus also why he get really disappointed when he realizes it was just a dream (dreams being a [[:Category:Dreams|recurring theme]] in xkcd).

Cueball is running {{w|Haiku (operating system)|Haiku}}, an {{w|open source}} operating system which is still in a state of active development, being in an alpha release at the publishing of the comic and in beta since 2018. While low-level tech support operators are given scripts which are predicated on the assumption that many computer problems are actually caused by the actions of clueless end users (as, in fact, they are), it's exceedingly unlikely most of these first-tier operators would have even heard of Haiku, not to mention that their scripts' assumptions would never apply to the sort of person who would be using an experimental OS as opposed to {{w|Windows}}, for instance.

"Shibboleet" is a portmanteau of "shibboleth" and "leet". A "{{w|shibboleth}}" means any word, custom, or other signifier which is used by members of a group to recognize other members or those who are "in the know" about something. Its use originates in the Hebrew Bible, where the precise pronunciation of this word was used to distinguish Gileadites from Ephramites. {{w|Leet}} (based on the word "elite") refers to "leet-speak", a practice of character substitution and abbreviation common across the Internet (or "teh 1n73rn3t", as you would say in leet). Thus, "shibboleet" is a shibboleth used to identify someone whose computer-knowledge is "elite." Leet is again in leet written as 1337 so again a reference back to the [[:Category:1337|1337 comic series]] including the comic mentioned above with Stallman.

Randall mentioned in the title text that this had happened to him recently, and is possibly the reason for this comic.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is on his cellphone, and holding up a small square piece of hardware with a foot in the other hand. Two wires go from the hardware down to the floor, where one is connected to a box on the floor with two black antennas, and then another wire goes out the other side of this, and both this and the second wire from the hardware Cueball is holding goes under his desk, on top of which is his open laptop.]
:Cueball: ...restart my computer? I know you have a script to follow, but the uplink light on the modem is going off every few hours. The problem is between your office and the modem.

:[Zoom in on Cueball's torso, still on the phone and with the hardware in hand.]
:Cueball: My computer has nothing to do with... OK, whatever, I "restarted my computer."
:Cueball: It's still down, and even if it comes back, it's going to die again in a few hours, because your—

:[Cueball on the phone has walked closer to his desk with the laptop, but holds down the hand with the hardware so it is below the panels frame.]
:Cueball: I don't ''have'' a start menu. This is a Haiku install, but that's not import—
:Cueball: Haiku? It's an experimental OS that I ... oh, never mind.

:[Cueball has paced away from his desk to the left so it is no longer in the panel. He has put the hardware down next to the box with antennas on the floor. Wires going off panel right toward the desk.]
:Cueball: I'm sorry, but this won't get fixed until I talk to an engineer. Can you look around for someone wearing cargo pants, maybe a subway map on their wall?

:[Hairy is the tech support person on the other end sitting in an office chair at a desk. A phone is hooked up on his table with two wires coming out. He is wearing a headset. He leans back in the chair and looks behind him to the right. Cueball talks to him over the phone indicated with a zigzag line.]
:Hairy: There's a chick two phones over with a stuffed penguin doll and a poster of some bearded dude with swords.
:Cueball (on the phone): Perfect. Can you put her on?
:Hairy: Sure.

:[The engineer, a woman with black hair in a ponytail, sits in an office chair at her desk typing on her lap top. She also has a headset. Behind her laptop sits a small penguin doll. Cueball talks to her over the phone indicated with zigzag lines.]
:Cueball (on the phone): Hey, so sorry to bother you, but my connection—
:Engineer: Yeah, I see it. Lingering problems from a server move.
:<type type>
:Engineer: Should be fixed now.
:Cueball (on the phone): Thank you ''so much.''

:[Zoom in on the engineers torso. The back of the chair and the top of her laptop just inside the panel.]
:Engineer: No problem. Hey, in the future, if you're on any tech support call, you can say the code word "shibboleet" at any point and you'll be automatically transferred to someone who knows a minimum of two programming languages.

:[Zoom in on Cueball on the phone scratching his neck. The engineer talks to him over the phone indicated with zigzag lines.]
:Cueball: Seriously?
:Engineer (on the phone): Yup. It's a backdoor put in by the geeks who built these phone support systems back in the 1990's.
:Engineer (on the phone): Don't tell anyone.

:[The last panel is split in two sections. In the top part still with a zoom in on Cueball, he takes the phone down to hang up. Only this section is inside a frame. The frame is normal at the top and half way down to the left, but only a small way down on the right side. The bottom part of the frame connects these two normal parts but with a wavy line to indicate that this is the end of a dream. In the frame-less part of the panel below Cueball is sitting up in his bed, having lifted his head fro the pillow behind him to the left. He lifts him self up with one hand while the other takes the sheet down over his body. The last part it thus drawn outside the rest of the framed part of the comic.]
:Cueball: Oh my god, this is the greatest—

:Cueball: Wha—
:Cueball: ...''Dammit.''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Richard Stallman]] 
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Dreams]]
[[Category:Portmanteau]]
[[Category:Engineering]]

2401: Conjunction

2022-05-04T01:09:01Z

108.162.219.49:

{{comic
| number = 2401
| date = December 21, 2020
| title = Conjunction
| image = conjunction.png
| titletext = The IAU is sad to announce that at 00:39 UTC on December 22nd, Jupiter and Saturn did unfortunately come into contact, and appear to have blooped together.
}}

==Explanation==
Cueball and Ponytail are observing the 2020 {{w|Great conjunction|Jupiter-Saturn conjunction}}. This comic is similar to other comparisons between expectation and reality, such as [[2176: How Hacking Works]], [[683: Science Montage]], [[2341: Scientist Tech Help]], and [[538: Security]]. The expectation is that the scientists will remain professional and serious throughout the event, testing Einstein's theory of General Relativity and using technical terms such as {{w|arcminute}}, a unit of measurement often used in astronomy. In reality, however, they are actually treating the event quite whimsically and are having fun with it, even jokingly commenting about the event. Other astronomical phenomena, such as solar eclipses, actually have been used to test Einstein's theories, but in this case the interest is purely aesthetic.

The title text references the misconception that the planets physically get very close at conjunction, rather than merely appearing to do so. The wording suggests a quick and uneventful merger, possibly alluding to the way drops of water merge when the {{w|surface tension}} between them is broken.

If Jupiter and Saturn really did come into contact and "blooped together", most of the mass would stay collected as an extremely hot{{Citation needed}} and turbulent blob that would eventually settle down as a new planet (which Randall suggests might be called [[2258: Solar System Changes|"Jaturn"]]), but more than a bit would be spewed outwards. The possible outcomes vary enormously, depending on factors such as how direct the impact was, and its alignment relative to the planets' spins. However, while such a collision would be preceded by a conjunction, a conjunction does not necessarily indicate an imminent collision, as Jupiter and Saturn, although on the same sightline from Earth, are still [https://earthsky.org/astronomy-essentials/great-jupiter-saturn-conjunction-dec-21-2020 separated by 734 million km (456 million mi)] at the time of the conjunction - almost five times the distance from Earth to the Sun.

==Transcript==

:[Caption above the first panel:]
:What people imagine astronomers observing a conjunction are like

:[Cueball and Ponytail are both looking through telescopes at the conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn.]
:Cueball: 6.15 arcminutes!
:Ponytail: Stupendous! This confirms Einstein!

:[Caption above the second panel:]
:What they're actually like

:[The same picture with different spoken sentences.]
:Cueball: Wow! Look how close they are!
:Ponytail: It's '''''so cool!!'''''
:Cueball: ''Now kiiiisssss!!''
:Ponytail: '''''Dooo iiit!'''''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

1395: Power Cord

2022-05-04T01:08:20Z

108.162.219.49:

{{comic
| number = 1395
| date = July 16, 2014
| title = Power Cord
| image = power_cord.png
| titletext = In this situation, gzip /dev/inside to deflate, then pipe the compressed air to /dev/input to clean your keyboard. Avert your eyes when you do.
}}

==Explanation==
In this comic, we see [[Beret Guy]] walking in from the left, as [[Cueball]] is sitting on a couch, typing on a {{w|laptop}} on his {{w|lap}}, with its {{w|power cord}} unplugged. Instead of connecting it to the {{w|wall socket}}, Beret Guy picks it up and blows air into the loose end of the cord, as if inflating a balloon — and the laptop inflates. It then floats away, making Cueball grab for it as Beret Guy casually walks away. (See an instance where Cueball inflates something in a similar unexpected way in [[1798: Box Plot]]).

It is not possible to inflate a laptop like this{{Citation needed}}, and (with [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugVRY-Cv7Ng&t=401s rare exceptions]) it is not possible to inflate ''anything'' by blowing down a power cord. Beret Guy has previously demonstrated several [[:Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy|supernatural abilities]], for instance with power cords, such as in [[1293: Job Interview]].

In general, human breath should not be buoyant enough to lift much in an atmosphere of ordinary air. The only chemical difference between dry air and dry exhaled breath is the conversion of oxygen (molecular weight = 32) to carbon dioxide (MW=44), not counting substances in such low concentrations that their effect on the average molecular weight of the air (MW=29) is negligible. A change of concentration of the CO2 from [https://www.engineeringtoolbox.com/air-composition-d_212.html 0.04%] to about [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breathing#Composition 4%] is typical. This increases the average molecular weight. However, exhaled breath is also usually much more humid than air, increasing the concentration of water (MW=18) from a typical value of 1% to approximately 5%, which decreases the average molecular weight. The two changes approximately cancel each other.

{| class="wikitable" style="text-align:right;"
|- style="font-weight:bold; text-align:center;"
! style="text-align:right; font-weight:normal;" |
! MW
! style="background-color:#efefef;" | Dry air
! style="background-color:#efefef;" | Fractional MW 
! Air with 1% water
! Fractional MW 
! style="background-color:#efefef;" | Exhaled composition dry
! style="background-color:#efefef;" | Fractional MW 
! Exhaled composition with 5% water
! Fractional MW 
|-
| style="font-weight:bold;" | N2
| style="text-align:left;" | 28.01
| style="background-color:#efefef;" | 78.08%
| style="background-color:#efefef;" | 21.87
| 77.30%
| 21.65
| style="background-color:#efefef;" | 78%
| style="background-color:#efefef;" | 21.85
| 74.10%
| 20.76
|-
| style="font-weight:bold;" | O2
| style="text-align:left;" | 32.00
| style="background-color:#efefef;" | 20.95%
| style="background-color:#efefef;" | 6.70
| 20.74%
| 6.64
| style="background-color:#efefef;" | 17%
| style="background-color:#efefef;" | 5.44
| 16.15%
| 5.17
|-
| style="font-weight:bold;" | Ar
| style="text-align:left;" | 39.95
| style="background-color:#efefef;" | 0.93%
| style="background-color:#efefef;" | 0.37
| 0.92%
| 0.37
| style="background-color:#efefef;" | 1%
| style="background-color:#efefef;" | 0.40
| 0.95%
| 0.38
|-
| style="font-weight:bold;" | CO2
| style="text-align:left;" | 44.01
| style="background-color:#efefef;" | 0.04%
| style="background-color:#efefef;" | 0.02
| 0.04%
| 0.02
| style="background-color:#efefef;" | 4%
| style="background-color:#efefef;" | 1.76
| 3.80%
| 1.67
|-
| style="font-weight:bold;" | H2O
| style="text-align:left;" | 18.01
| style="background-color:#efefef;" |
| style="background-color:#efefef;" |
| 1.00%
| 0.18
| style="background-color:#efefef;" |
| style="background-color:#efefef;" |
| 5.00%
| 0.90
|-
| style="font-weight:bold;" | Total
| style="font-weight:bold; text-align:left;" |
| style="background-color:#efefef;" | 100.00%
| style="background-color:#efefef; font-weight:bold;" | 28.97
| 100.00%
| style="font-weight:bold;" | 28.86
| style="background-color:#efefef;" |
| style="background-color:#efefef; font-weight:bold;" | 29.45
| 100.00%
| style="font-weight:bold;" | 28.88
|}

Because humans are warm-blooded, human breath is slightly warmer than the surrounding air, and therefore has slightly fewer molecules per unit volume. This is also true of hot air balloons, but they operate at much higher temperatures than human breath and are therefore able to obtain a greater amount of net buoyancy. There is a standard cartoon convention that {{tvtropes|AllBalloonsHaveHelium| inflating something with breath}} nonetheless makes it lighter than air. Also, given Beret Guy's many manifestations of inexplicable phenomena, it is not too far fetched to believe his body is, in fact, expelling some form of lighter-than-air gas, similar to the character Rigel on Farscape who could "fart helium".

The title text involves some jokes on {{w|Unix}} systems. On Unix, {{w|everything is a file}}; even most of the hardware can be referenced by a (virtual) file. These virtual files usually are in /dev or another virtual filesystem like /sys or /proc. While /dev/input really exists and points to the input system (mice, keyboards, gamepads, etc.), /dev/inside doesn't. {{w|gzip}} is a common tool to compress files. The first joke is to compress the air inside the laptop (with the command <code>gzip /dev/inside</code>) in order to deflate the laptop back to normal size. It is a pun with the literal meaning of "deflate", which is also the {{w|DEFLATE}} algorithm used by gzip (compressing files is also called "deflating"). Another joke is "{{w|Pipeline (Unix)|piping}}", the act of using the output of one operation as the input to another. As the output of the gzip command would be compressed air, a ''physical'' pipe could be used to direct the air somewhere useful. The output of a command can also be redirected to a file. Since the hardware is a file, the suggestion is to direct the air to /dev/input (which, in this case, means the keyboard, but would actually be a directory on real system, which can't normally be piped into) to clean it, similar to "compressed air" dusting cans. The complete command would be <code>gzip /dev/inside | /dev/input</code>. As this might cause a spray of unpleasant detritus (compare [[237: Keyboards are Disgusting]]), the reader is advised to avert their eyes.

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy enters to find Cueball on a chair typing on a laptop. Cueball's power cord is unplugged from the wall.]
:Cueball typing: Type type

:[Beret Guy picks up the power cord. Cueball continues typing.]
:Cueball typing: Type type

:[Beret Guy blows into the plug end of the cord. The laptop abruptly inflates and Cueball jerks back.]
:Beret Guy: '''PBBBBT'''
:Laptop: '''FOOMP'''

:[Beret Guy walks away, leaving Cueball climbing up his chair to retrieve his inflated laptop which is now floating away.]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy]]

1107: Sports Cheat Sheet

2022-05-04T01:07:47Z

108.162.219.49:

{{comic
| number = 1107
| date = September 12, 2012
| title = Sports Cheat Sheet
| image = sports_cheat_sheet.png
| titletext = I would subscribe to a Twitter feed that supplied you with one reasonable sports opinion per day, like "The Red Sox can't make the playoffs (championship games), but in last night's game their win seriously damaged the chances of the Yankees (longstanding rival team)."
}}

==Explanation==
[[Randall]] presents a "cheat sheet" which is a handy reference guide for something that is generally expected to be memorized or known by someone familiar with the knowledge domain. Cheat sheets are commonly used in mathematical applications to list important formulas or for measurement conversions; but they may also be used in other applications.

This cheat sheet allows Randall to figure out what sport other people are arguing over on the basis of the time of year and where the argument is occurring. The chart is based on the annual seasons (periods when the top professional and college leagues play) of each sport.

In the United States, the chart is divided among {{w|baseball}}, {{w|basketball}} and {{w|American football}}. Hockey is not shown, suggesting that he may not consider hockey a sport to compare with the three listed, he does not encounter arguments about hockey (of the four major professional sports leagues in North America, the {{w|NHL}} is significantly behind the others in terms of attention as its appeal is traditionally limited by geography to Canada and the northern United States), or that he perhaps does not need a chart to determine when the argument is about hockey (they may be obvious for countless reasons, including the physicality of typical hockey confrontations). Also, golf is not shown as well implying Randall may not think it's an important sport. The chart suggests that football is the most popular of the three sports, or at least more popular to argue about (of the four major professional sports leagues in North America, the {{w|NFL}} generally has the most attention).

The {{w|NFL}} football regular season generally runs from September to December with playoffs in January and early February. Overlapping this period of time, NCAA college football is also occurring, from September to December, with their bowl games in December and January. Almost all of this period, sports arguments are likely to be about football. The {{w|NBA}} basketball regular season runs from late October to mid-April with playoffs in April and into June. {{w|NCAA}} college basketball starts in November but peaks in March with the NCAA Basketball Tournament ([[1819: Sweet 16|March Madness]]). According to the chart, the arguments about basketball don't begin until the football season is over. They continue through the end of April, but start again at the end of May during the playoff finals. The {{w|MLB}} baseball regular season runs from April through September with playoffs in late September and October. When the baseball season begins, arguments shift from the ongoing basketball season to the new baseball season. As mentioned, the NBA Finals create some basketball arguments again for a few weeks. Similarly, the start of the NFL season in September makes it more likely arguments then will be about football. Baseball takes over briefly during the playoffs in October.

One of the punchlines is that outside the US, all sports arguments are about {{w|association football}} (soccer) all year round. The two types of football are noted on the chart by an icon showing the ball used in each sport.

The title text continues on the theme of this chart being for someone who doesn't know anything about sports. Randall imagines a {{w|Twitter}} feed where you receive a salient sports opinion each day, presumably so that you could repeat the opinion to your friends and appear knowledgeable about sports. As the feed is for those uninformed about sports, there are clarifications of important terms in brackets.

The suggested Twitter message mentioned in the title text is accurate for the date of the comic. On September 11, 2012 the baseball team {{w|Boston Red Sox}} played the {{w|New York Yankees}} and won, 4 runs to 3. The Red Sox were already mathematically eliminated from the playoffs (meaning they needed to win more games than remained in the season to qualify). The Yankees were at the top of the standings, but were in a close race for the playoffs with the {{w|Baltimore Orioles}} (both teams had a win-loss record of 79 wins to 62 losses, with 21 games each remaining to play). To be guaranteed a spot in the playoffs, the Yankees had to win more of their remaining games than the Orioles. Losing to the Red Sox made this task harder. (For those wondering, both the Yankees and the Orioles made to the playoffs, but neither made it to the championship round, the World Series.)

Traditionally, the Red Sox and the Yankees have a {{w|Yankees–Red Sox rivalry|long-standing rivalry}}, especially among fans. Many Red Sox fans consider a loss by the Yankees nearly as good as a win by the Red Sox (and the Red Sox beating the Yankees the best of both worlds). If the Red Sox can't win the World Series, then at least they can help prevent the Yankees from winning it.

This strip is one of several in which Randall attempts to trivialize sports (see for instance [[904: Sports]], [[1480: Super Bowl]], [[1507: Metaball]] and [[1859: Sports Knowledge]]).

==Transcript==
:[A three-column table. Months are arrayed down the first column, the second and third columns show sports, with the divisions in partial months rather than lined up with the ends of months. American football and association football (i.e. soccer) are differentiated by small icons in brackets depicting the respective balls used.]

:'''Which sport are they arguing about?'''
:-My cheat sheet-

:[The second column, reproduced using approximate dates.]
:US:
:Football [ovoid ball drawn in brackets]: January 1 - February 10
:Basketball: February 10 - April 20
:Baseball: April 20 - May 25
:Basketball: May 25 - June 15
:Baseball: June 15 - August 20
:Football [ovoid]: August 20 - October 5
:Baseball: October 5 - October 20
:Football [ovoid]: October 20 - December 31

:[The third column, reproduced using approximate dates.]
:non-US:
:Football [truncated icosahedron, 20 hexagons and 12 pentagons]: January 1 - December 31

==Trivia==
The idea of a website that supplies sports talking points to non-fans was previously used in a 2008 episode of the sitcom ''{{w|The IT Crowd}}'', which might be where Randall got the idea. There, the site (Bluffball) focused on UK football, and offered the lines "Did you see that ludicrous display last night?", "What was {{w|Arsene Wenger|Wenger}} thinking sending {{w|Theo Walcott|Walcott}} on that early?" and "The trouble with {{w|Arsenal FC|Arsenal}} is they always try and walk it in."

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:American football]]
[[Category:Basketball]]
[[Category:Baseball]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Sport]]

581: The Race: Part 5

2022-05-04T01:06:45Z

108.162.219.49:

{{comic
| number = 581
| date = May 8, 2009
| title = The Race: Part 5
| image = the_race_part_5.png
| titletext = It was actually canceled because they just noticed he's been naked under that coat the whole time. There's a petition on Facebook to get Fox to un-cancel it, and one on Livejournal to get him to take off the coat.
}}

==Explanation==
This is a continuation of the previous comic in "[[The Race]]" series, [[580: The Race: Part 4]].

In panel 6 (2nd panel in the 2nd row), {{w|Nathan Fillion}} line is reminiscent of a similar quote from the 2nd episode of {{w|Firefly (TV series)|''Firefly''}}, {{w|The Train Job}}: "I just wanted you to face me so she could get behind ya." In the show, {{w|Malcolm Reynolds}} is aided by {{w|Zoë Washburne}}, his second in command, who gets behind the bar thug he is speaking to. In the comic, Nathan Fillion is using the line on a fan, but {{w|Gina Torres}} is not standing behind [[Cueball]] this time.

Summer's line about growing but not retracting her hair appears to mean that because Nathan used her to stop Cueball, she has to stop him as well, which she neatly does. Alternatively, the line may be a random non-sequitur of the sort often uttered by her neurologically damaged character in the Firefly 'verse.

"Bwah!" is a sound Malcolm makes during one episode in which one of his crewmembers inadvertently sneaks up on him while trying to ask him a question. When he is questioned about it, he says he has invented a new war cry, and promptly practices yelling 'Bwahhhh' in a confident manner while readying his pistol.

Summer's statement in the 10th panel about swallowing a bug is a reference to the movie {{w|Serenity_(film)|''Serenity''}}, made in 2005 to conclude Firefly's storyline. After a harrowing high-speed chase in an open-topped hovercraft, the only comment from Summer's character is "I swallowed a bug," showing that she was either unconcerned, or stunned, by the narrow escape.

The final panel is a reference to {{w|Fox Television}}'s treatment of ''Firefly''. ''Firefly'' was cancelled after only 11 episodes of the 14 made were aired, leaving three episodes unaired.

Internet petitions, contrary to the sarcastic suggestion in the final panel, pretty much never work.

All comics in "[[The Race]]" series:
*[[577: The Race: Part 1]]
*[[578: The Race: Part 2]]
*[[579: The Race: Part 3]]
*[[580: The Race: Part 4]]
*[[581: The Race: Part 5]]

This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

Electric skateboards have been the subject of several other comics like [[139: I Have Owned Two Electric Skateboards]], [[409: Electric Skateboard (Double Comic)]] and a panel in [[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]].

==Transcript==
:[Nathan skates in.]
:Nathan: So you took care of him?
:Summer: I can extrude hair, but I can't retract it.
:Nathan: That a yes?
:[Summer grabs Nathan's arm as he skates past her, pulling him off the board.]
:Nathan: Bwah!
:[An Andy Capp-esque meleè dust cloud.]
:WHAP BAM POW WHAM
:[Summer skates away.]
:[A beat-up Nathan approaches an similarly battered Cueball.]
:Nathan: She may have my board, but I can still beat you to the finish line if I bring you down.
:Cueball: Bring it, Captain Tightpants.
:Nathan: I've got nothing to bring. I just said that so she could get behind you.
:[Cueball turns.]
:Cueball: Who—
:[Cueball is hit with his board.]
:''WHAM''
:[Nathan stands over a prone Cueball.]
:Nathan: I just said ''that'' so ''I'' could get behind you. The serious fans always fall for the quotes.
:[Wide panel of Summer crossing the finishing line on Nathan's board, breaking through the tape.]
:Announcer: And the winner is...
:Off-screen voice: Summer Glau?
:Summer: I swallowed a bug again.
:[Close-up of Cueball's beaten face.]
:Cueball: All right, Fillion. I've had enough of your treachery and ...rugged good looks. This ends here.
:[Equally close-up: Nathan's face, bearing several grazes.]
:Nathan: All right, fanboy. Let this be our final battle.
:[They rush at each other, fists ready to swing punches.]
:Final battle canceled by Fox.
:Try an Internet petition drive - those ''totally'' work.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:The Race]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|The Race]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Nathan Fillion]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Summer Glau]]
[[Category:Firefly]]
[[Category:Electric skateboard]]

1976: Friendly Questions

2022-05-04T01:05:44Z

108.162.219.49:

{{comic
| number = 1976
| date = April 4, 2018
| title = Friendly Questions
| image = friendly_questions.png
| titletext = Just tell me everything you're thinking about in order from most important to last, and then we'll be friends and we can eat apples together.
}}

==Explanation==
A common theme in xkcd is [[:Category:Social interactions|social awkwardness]]. Oftentimes [[Cueball]]/[[Randall]] will grossly overthink casual social interactions, such as small talk.

In this comic, Cueball has prepared a note to himself, preparing for the said small talk with [[Hairy]], but it ultimately backfires. This is very similar to the comic [[1961: Interaction]] which came out just 5 weeks before this one. And a similar interaction between Cueball and Hairy occurs in [[1917: How to Make Friends]] from less than half a year before this comic.

In this comic, Cueball has prepared for a conversation with Hairy, by writing an instructional note for himself. The note tells him to start the conversation by asking some questions about the other person. In theory, this is perfectly good conversational advice; unfortunately, Cueball's understanding of social interactions is so abstract that he actually has no idea ''what'' questions to ask. He hastily improvises a question about the number of apples Hairy has eaten in his lifetime, which, although it does meet the criteria suggested by the note, is not a particularly interesting or meaningful question to ask someone. Cueball realizes from Hairy's reaction that he has made a mistake, and decides to abort the interaction.

Normally, one would ask questions such as "How are you?" or "What have you been up to lately?", instead of asking random facts of someone else's life, such as "How many apples have you eaten in your life?"{{Citation needed}}

The title text continues to show the flaws in Cueball's approach to social interaction, which is very systematic: he seems to trying to create some kind of reproducible methodology that he can follow in order to carry out a conversation, unaware that conversations tend to be spontaneous and do not follow rigidly defined rules. Additionally, one of the main points of conversation is to gain some understanding of the other person; by focusing on the conversation ''itself'', Cueball is denying the very purpose of the interaction.

A slight side-joke is the list being numbered despite only containing one item, although this could imply that Cueball has other notes that he would have continued to refer to if the first one produced a successful result.

The advice to "Ask them about themselves", specifically noted as the "first thing" after introducing yourself, was promoted to overcome society anxiety in the {{w|Periscope}}-based videocast of {{w|Scott Adams}}, creator of the ''{{w|Dilbert}}'' comic strip (see audio-only podcast [http://blog.dilbert.com/2018/04/04/episode-12-youtube-shooter-amazon-com-trade-war-and-overcoming-social-anxiety/]). Given Randall's personality and previous professional vocation (working with nerds at {{w|NASA}} and in academia), it is highly likely he would be a fan of the strip and also the creator's related works such as Adams's blog, Twitter feed, and the like. The real coincidence is the videocast in question likely occurred ''just a day before this comic was published''; the audio was published the same day as the comic and usually delays the video by a day.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Hairy meet each other.]
:Cueball: Hey!
:Hairy: Oh, hi!

:[Cueball looks down at a sticky note in his hand.]

:[The yellow sticky note reads:]
:Normal human conversation
:<hr width="150" style="background-color:black" align="left">
:1. Ask them about themselves

:[Cueball looks at Hairy.]
:Cueball: How many...apples...have you eaten?
:Hairy: ...Like, in my life?
:Cueball: Yes.
:Hairy: ...
:Cueball: ...I should go.
:Hairy: OK.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Social interactions]]

169: Words that End in GRY

2022-05-04T01:04:51Z

108.162.219.49:

{{comic
| number = 169
| date = October 11, 2006
| title = Words that End in GRY
| image = words_that_end_in_gry.png
| titletext = The fifth panel also applies to postmodernists.
}}

==Explanation==
This is a reference to a famous {{w|-gry puzzle#Alternative versions|joke}} (see the first of the meta versions under the wiki link), mistold in the above comic.

The original, correct telling of the joke is:
:''Think of words ending in "-gry". "Angry" and "Hungry" are two of them. There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word? Hint: The word is something that everyone uses every day. If you have listened carefully, I have already told you what it is.''
Phrased this way, the answer is "language" because "There are only three words in (the phrase)'' 'the English language' ''."

Cueball tells this joke (unfortunately by mis-phrasing the original riddle). When [[Cueball]] attempts to say the answer is "language" and act smugly about it, [[Black Hat]] is unimpressed and cuts off Cueball's forearm, explaining that communicating badly is not the same as cleverness. Black Hat's point is that the riddle's "cleverness" depends on misleadingly implying that "three words" refers to words ending in "-gry," rather than the phrase "the English language." Black Hat does not seem to agree that this riddle is clever.

In the title text, Randall clarifies that his point about bad communication applies to the riddle in general. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f95uxPO4Vk4] However, a secondary interpretation is that Black Hat is angry that Cueball botched the joke. The joke is supposed to go, "There are only three words in 'the English language,'" while only implying that you meant "words that end in '-gry.'" By instead saying, "There are three words in the English language that end in '-gry,'" Cueball has ruined any chance of Black Hat determining the correct answer; now, "three words" can't refer to the correct answer "the English language" because Cueball has accidentally used a longer phrase instead. Thus, Cueball has communicated badly both intentionally and unintentionally.

In any case, no matter how annoying Cueball's smugness, Black Hat responding by cutting off Cueball's forearm is a comical overreaction {{Citation needed}} (while his calm demeanor in doing so is a comical underreaction to the overreaction). Additionally, his calmly-made point about the riddle is likely not to be understood by Cueball, who can only focus on his debilitating injury. Black Hat has, ironically, failed to communicate his point about proper communication, although given Black Hat's personality he likely doesn't care, and may even have intended the irony.

As Black Hat mentioned in the comic, if you count obscure and archaic words, there are additional English words that end with "-gry." Some are listed [http://www.snopes.com/language/puzzlers/gry.asp here].

The title text refers to {{w|postmodernism}}, a philosophy and corresponding art movement. Postmodern music is often {{w|minimalist}}, as exemplified by the weird sounds of {{w|Philip Glass}} and {{w|Steve Reich}}, and {{w|Postmodern art#Movements in postmodern art|postmodern visual art}} saw trends such as lowbrow and installation art gain attention. Apart from a rejection of modernism, however, it is difficult to outline postmodernism to justify the strange works of art. {{w|Deconstruction}} is another important concept, but it is difficult to describe the process. In short, postmodernists make art that no one understands and may act smugly about it, but they do not adequately explain what their art means, or it doesn't really mean anything. In other words, there is nothing to understand. Thus, Black Hat's statement, ''that such practice is not "cleverness,"'' applies to them as well.

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat and Cueball are standing next to each other.]
:Cueball: There are three words in the English language that end in "gry". "Angry" and "Hungry" are two. What's the third?

:Black Hat: I don't think there is one, unless you count really obscure words.
:Cueball: Ha! It's "language"! I said there are three words in "the English--" Hey!
:''GRAB''
:[Black Hat grabs Cueball's hand, with a knife in hand.]

:Cueball: What th--AAAAAAAAAA
:''SLICE''
:[Black Hat slices off Cueball's hand with the knife.]

:[Cueball is bleeding profusely.]
:Black Hat: Ok, listen carefully.
:Cueball: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

:Black Hat: Communicating badly and then acting smug when you're misunderstood is not cleverness.
:Cueball: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

:Black Hat: I hope we've learned something today.
:Cueball: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

==Trivia==
Around the time this comic was posted, Randall also posted [[Blue Eyes]]: The Hardest Logic Puzzle in the World. He apparently took his own advice to heart as he explicitly states he has gone over the wording of the puzzle several times before publishing it to make it as unambiguous as possible.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Comics with blood]]

Talk:2585: Rounding

2022-02-25T15:13:27Z

108.162.219.49:

Wot no {{w|FFF system|furlongs per fortnight}}? [[Special:Contributions/172.70.91.126|172.70.91.126]] 23:14, 23 February 2022 (UTC)

: I, too, was initially surprised that Randall hadn't used the standard joke measure. But, then I realized that F/F is so outrageously large that rounding wouldn't offer much advantage. [[User:MAP|MAP]] ([[User talk:MAP|talk]]) 05:10, 24 February 2022 (UTC)

If we're using the table, can I suggest it be fully filled in, but mark "original (rounded)" value cells one key colour and the chosen conversion in another, so that scanning along (not necessarily adjacent/rightwards) then down (always next row) then along... you see the 'bounce around'. And we also get to appreciate what other fractional values ''could'' have been chosen, prior to rounding... Alternately, some flow-charty layout (perhaps contained within a nominally borderless version of the table?) with arrows leading across the width and filling in-between each down-step. Ideas only. I have others, but those seem the best bet to consider. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.85.113|172.70.85.113]] 01:32, 24 February 2022 (UTC)

Disagree with the current (as of 23:27 US Eastern, 23 February) explanation. According to this site (https://ilovebicycling.com/average-bike-speed/), average downhill bike speed is over 45 mph. Since Cueball doesn't specify "on flat terrain", he should have no problem going 45 without exploiting imprecise conversions. [[User:Nitpicking|Nitpicking]] ([[User talk:Nitpicking|talk]]) 04:30, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
:Huh? This does not say average downhill speed is > 45, it says "fastest". Also why would Cueball need to do this bizarre rounding if he can actually go 45mph? This is an exaggeration because he can only go a typical speed of 17mph.[[Special:Contributions/172.69.33.145|172.69.33.145]] 04:52, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
::Fastest for average cyclist. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 05:05, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
:As a cyclist of several decades experience, who has indeed attained such speeds on rare (reckless) occasions, I think that "fastest downhill speed for an average rider" is overstated. Maybe it is what average people are capable of on a well-surfaced, steep, straight, non-undulating road with sufficient vision (forward and of anything potentially moving into the road from the side) or at least confidence that you're not dealing with traffic/pedestrians/other unaware cyclists. Oh, and sufficient stopping distance for whatever brakes you have.
:Maybe everybody can do it ''once'', but a good bike-ride should be one you can walk away from at the end.
:(Also, that cycling-centric site might have a different idea of 'average' cyclist. The average person on a bike here can't even put their feet on the pedals correctly. If we're talking club-/competitive-cyclists (but still sub-pro) then I'd much more readily agree, but there are far more people these days who can't even ride on the roadway, it seems.)
:That bike, as drawn, looks like it'll be Okish (if kept well maintained) but not exactly set up as functional downhill racer, nor probably is the rider. I really think the machine probably could be ridden at 20+mph on the flat for as long as the rider can stand to, but the characterisation makes me not confident they're able to maintain that kind of average speed for a [https://www.cyclingtimetrials.org.uk/race-results/22059#anchor long ride], and I think they'd overbake a downhill speed-run too, or (sensibly) be more cautious. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.85.143|172.70.85.143]] 05:14, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
:: Yep - the speeds on that site are for road bikes. Cueball looks to be riding a hybrid (flat bars), which would tend to put him in a more upright position, creating a higher frontal area and air resistance, and so slowing his progress. That would have even more of an effect at higher speeds. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.159.43|162.158.159.43]] 11:14, 24 February 2022 (UTC)

Arguably, once you're up to numbers around 45, you're as likely, if not more so, to be rounding to the nearest 5 than the nearest unit (depending on context). So Cueball's initial statement could be taken as suggesting that he can ride at around 42.5 - 47.5mph (rather than 44.5 - 45.5mph). And if he could actually ride at over 45mph then he presumably wouldn't need to add the 'if you round' qualifier, so it could further be taken as just suggesting that he can exceed 42.5mph. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.159.43|162.158.159.43]] 11:22, 24 February 2022 (UTC)

Note I find it kind of disappointing that the insane "KPH" unit is used in the comic. Nobody uses that in places where speed is actually measured in km/h.
: yes, but we are talking about a US based comic, one of only 3 countries (Myanmar, Liberia, USA) that don't use the metric system for measurement...oh, except for money, but that isn't really metric, it is money ;o) [[Special:Contributions/108.162.250.190|108.162.250.190]] 00:50, 25 February 2022 (UTC)

Ironically, by the same standards it only takes one conversion to say that he can't move at all on a bike. he goes 0 parsecs, lightyears or AU (for example) per year, decade or century (for example).

Can we remove the rounding errors in the "exact" values in the tables? For instance, the final value should be "45.0000" not "45.0001". In fact, all three values ending with 0001 are rounding errors. (These were probably a result of converting to metric and back, using low precision conversion factors.) [[User:Divad27182|Divad27182]] ([[User talk:Divad27182|talk]]) 15:49, 24 February 2022 (UTC)

Whoever decided to display that information in that table deserves an award. Gg. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.126.65|172.70.126.65]] 16:38, 24 February 2022 (UTC)

It's nice how the rounding of exact half-integers only ever has to deal with odd-numbers-and-a-half, so Cueball can't be charged with violating the "round to even" rule, nor with violating the "round away from zero" rule. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.131.122|172.70.131.122]] 18:06, 24 February 2022 (UTC)

It looks like Randall picked a starting speed (within a reasonable bike-riding range) to maximize his gain. Groups of starting speeds round to the same final speeds, and some groups have a higher maximum speed earlier in the rounding chain:
::{| class="wikitable"
! Start Speed
(mph)
! Max Speed
(rounded to mph)
! Final Speed
(mph)
|-
|1
|1
|0
|-
|2 to 9
|9
|8
|-
|10
|10
|8
|-
|11 to 16
|16
|15
|-
|17 to 45
|45
|45
|-
|46 to 54
|54
|53
|}[[Special:Contributions/172.70.131.122|172.70.131.122]] 21:24, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
:Are you assuming the exact same chain of conversions, just with different input values? Surely if he'd chosen to start at (say) 16, he'd have chosen whatever ''other'' chain of conversions would have sent him towards some decent high-value. Might have differed only by the initial conversions before it found itself landing on the same late-path, or could be completely different (to get to a different end) as the biased random-walk of choices hit a different useful stride pattern. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.20|141.101.99.20]] 22:39, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
::Yes, I put different starting speeds into the same conversion chain. Perhaps I should have said "He chose a reasonable starting speed and chain of conversions to maximize the gain." I was initially surprised that starting at 16mph ends at 15mph, then decided to plot it. The grouping of ending speeds also surprised me, but in hindsight that's to be expected with multiple round offs. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.75.17|162.158.75.17]] 23:02, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
:::Not surprising at all. Given any random (not selectively chosen) conversion-then-rounding function, you'd expect about half the time you get a lowered (absolute) value rather than a raised one, for the input number somewhere in the range 1 to infinity. For any pair of measures of unequal scales but sharing zero. (Possibly also viable in non-equal and dislocated scales, like °C and °F, but that's just a hunch that I've not emperically checked, and not applicable here anyway.)
:::The chain chosen was conspicuously optimal to get the starting value 17 to always rise. Possibly by the maximum possible amount, on each chosen step, from amongst all those considered conversions, but I haven't checked this. It even has a viable unit_A=>unit_B for one rounding rise then unit_B=>unit_A for yet another rounding rise, because it happily works like that at the respective points of each scale.
:::But when you start from a different value, you lose the initial upwards-bias in the same 'meshing' and on each subsequent Randall-chosen one. It's pretty much a random sequence, as far as the value that it wasn't designed for is concerned. Logic dictates that it will downplay the value about as often as it will up-play it, for most scenarios. Except maybe at resonant multiple/divisors of the original (which will still chaotically drift, as rounding up .6 for a value would mean rounding down .3 for value/2 or down from .2 for value*2, setting you up for the next function in the adopted sequence to fail), but then 17 is prime so you'd have to start with 34 for that to (sometimes) work.
:::And, assuming the sequence is chosen for maximising upwards, you've got the function at each stage that is selected precisely because ''for that exact state-value'' it is specifically upward-trending, so when you try that in a different context reversion-to-the-mean suggests you're perhaps more likely to hit one of the downward-trends in the relationship.
:::My theory is that for any given starting value, some convert-then-round (from a sufficiently diverse choice of options) will always maximise the resulting magnitude. And that result will always have its own maximal conversion. Although those two operations may be less maximising in combination than a submaximal first operation (maybe, in some cases, a slight ''reduction''?) that 'lands' on a better number for a differing secondary maximiser step to act upon. So a full search-path needs to consider an N-step look-ahead method rooted in a breadth-first trial of each step-1, etc, to optimise the maximiser-optimiser process. But I haven't the time to test it right now. Maybe later! [[Special:Contributions/172.70.162.77|172.70.162.77]] 00:53, 25 February 2022 (UTC)

A note about the propulsion system in the mouseover text: This system is not entirely novel and was first proposed by Douglas Adams who suggested using the notebooks of waiters in bistros to achieve the desired precision loss. He suggested it should be possible to achieve speeds of round ∞kph (∞mph) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.202.247|162.158.202.247]]
:The books don't mention those details in their description of "bistromathics", and I don't recall them having been added to the radio adaptations. [[User:BunsenH|BunsenH]] ([[User talk:BunsenH|talk]]) 23:15, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
:The Improbability Drive (in the Hitchiker's Guide) also seems somewhat related.
:What relation can that have? I'm looking at {{link|https://hitchhikers.fandom.com/wiki/Bistromathics|this link}}. [[User:GcGYSF(asterisk)P(vertical line)e|GcGYSF(asterisk)P(vertical line)e]] ([[User talk:GcGYSF(asterisk)P(vertical line)e|talk]]) 03:32, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
:The various things that {{w|Hex (Discworld)|Discworld's "Hex"}} can do (including occasionally providing magical teportation) can rely upon it trying lots of 'impossible' things very quickly "before the universe notices". [[Special:Contributions/162.158.159.125|162.158.159.125]] 14:19, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
:My favorite "impossible" thing mentioned in the Hitchhiker's Guide is be able to fly by "learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss". I have done this successfully while dreaming, but have never accomplished it while wide awake. But it is surely worth trying. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.49|108.162.219.49]] 15:13, 25 February 2022 (UTC)

Talk:2566: Decorative Constants

2022-01-11T18:00:49Z

108.162.219.49: /* Count down clock */

I don't have any idea what to put in the actual description, but whoever does should probably note that r(in) - r(out) equals zero, not one. And multiplying by a constant 0 absolutely changes the value! [[User:GreatWyrmGold|GreatWyrmGold]] ([[User talk:GreatWyrmGold|talk]]) 21:59, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
: rout and rin are different values. The subscripts represent different instances of the same variable at different point. In the same way, you might calculate something happening over a time interval tend - tstart . [[Special:Contributions/172.69.71.77|172.69.71.77]] 23:02, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
::Yes for sure they are two different values. On the other hand if μ is not 1 then the it is not just decorative! D on the other hand is just a proportionality constant, which may have a value other than 1. I have tried to put something in the explanation here. Quite a bit. Do not really now anything about Drag, so just took it from the wiki page. Also I hope someone can explain the formula in the image, as I'm sure it is just something about the flow, that would relate it to a drag equation. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 23:41, 10 January 2022 (UTC)

Note that the title text is pretty much word-for-word a repeat from Randall's book *How To*. In Chapter 11: *How to Play Football*, he misuses the drag equation, and mentions this fact in more depth, in a footnote. Bit of trivia! --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.134.79|162.158.134.79]] 23:13, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
:Nice, I will have to check up on that. Thanks. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 23:41, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
:Can confirm this, the book mentions that the "traditional tribute to Euler and Bernoulli" comes from Frank White's ''Fluid Mechanics'' textbook. [[User:Clam|Clam]] ([[User talk:Clam|talk]]) 01:08, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
:: There it is, page 266 in the 1986 2nd edition: "They both have a factor ½ as a traditional tribute to Bernoulli and Euler, and both are based on the projected area..." https://books.google.com/books?id=wGweAQAAIAAJ&q=traditional -- [[Special:Contributions/172.70.162.5|172.70.162.5]] 02:13, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
:::Great thanks have included both references in the explanation. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 08:32, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
:Wait, wouldn't the values be twice as big (rather than half as big) if you left off the 1/2? [[Special:Contributions/141.101.69.154|141.101.69.154]] 12:43, 11 January 2022 (UTC)

Of course, the c^2 im e=mc^2 is just as decorative, when using natural units where c=1.... [[Special:Contributions/172.68.50.171|172.68.50.171]] 00:29, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
: And the resulting equation is then just e=m - or m=e which is beautiful and profound. "Mass is Energy". Without the complications, you stop thinking of it as a PROCESS for converting one into the other and get the more profound point that Mass and Energy are the exact same thing. [[User:SteveBaker|SteveBaker]] ([[User talk:SteveBaker|talk]]) 03:33, 11 January 2022 (UTC)

==Count down clock==
;Keep discussion of comic above this, and further discussion of countdown here below!!!
Any idea what's going on with the clock that's counting downwards in the banner? Currently counting down from 20 days 16 hours? [[Special:Contributions/172.70.214.95|172.70.214.95]] 22:08, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
:(Simultaneous edit) What is the days-hours-minutes in the box above the comic referring to? The image itself is dated yesterday, as you can see by saving it. Worst-case-scenario, is this a countdown to the end of XKCD? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.223|108.162.245.223]] 22:11, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
:: It's going to hit zero at around midnight on Jan 31st 2022 CST? [[User:SteveBaker|SteveBaker]] ([[User talk:SteveBaker|talk]]) 22:16, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
:::'''Posted [[Talk:2565:_Latency#Countdown|this]] on the previous comics discussion. But lets take it here where there will be more traffic:''' --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 22:44, 10 January 2022 (UTC) -- Copy paste from previous comics discussion:
::::Damn you beat me to it ;-). But I have made a [[2565:_Latency#Trivia|Trivia]] here on this comics page and links to more detail on the [[xkcd Header text]] page. I believe you are a day of, but someone will likely correct me if I'm wrong. As I can see it will be January 31st, 9:59 in Randall's home town Boston.--[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 20:06, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
:::::But damned if I can wait. Sure millions will watch the page when it goes to zero! At least it is no April 1st. :-D --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 20:10, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
::::Yeah - you're right - I messed up. So as I type this, it's Jan 10th 2022 at 4pm - 1600 hrs Mountain time - which is 1800 hours EST. At this moment, the countdown reads 20d 16h 0m - so Jan 30th + (18+16) hours = which is Jan 30th + 34 hours - which is Jan 31st + 10am in Boston (EST). [[User:SteveBaker|SteveBaker]] ([[User talk:SteveBaker|talk]]) 23:05, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
:::::Hey great, can see they agree in the link to reddit below. So happy I got it right both in UTC and Boston. It will be 15:59 here in DK. Not 16:00. ;-) --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 23:44, 10 January 2022 (UTC)

Counting down to Backwards Day? --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.91.88|162.158.91.88]] 23:28, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
:There's a reddit thread discussing it: https://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/s0oynl/xkcd_countdown_timer_20d_21h_49m_remaining_until/ I think the most likely guess is that Randall has a new book coming out. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 23:40, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
::Would still seem strange if it came out that day with only promotion before being a count down. But then again, he will have the xkcd communities boiling if he gives no other hint. So every one will see if he promotes a book. Also as they wrote at the time I looked at reddit I do not think it is the end of xkcd, or Webb related. Although Webb was the first I thought about. But I mean even if it came to L2 at that day, it is not going to any specific point but just in orbit. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 23:47, 10 January 2022 (UTC)

::The date fits the idea of it being Backwards Day (https://nationaldaycalendar.com/backward-day-january-31) but what about the choice of time? [[User:SteveBaker|SteveBaker]] ([[User talk:SteveBaker|talk]]) 03:38, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
:::Backwards day... Never head of it until now. Is it big in the US. I mean when looking after dates so obscure they are not mentioned on wikipedia then there are probably lots of things happening on that day? But maybe it is a think in the US? --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 08:48, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
:::: I haven't heard of it until now either, so it is probably one of the bajillions of holidays no one actually cares about, and is unrelated to the countdown. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.163|108.162.221.163]] 13:22, 11 January 2022 (UTC)Bumpf

Someone has noticed the image is changing with pixels added at the bottom left corner and is keeping track of it here: https://munvoseli.github.io/xkcd-countdown/ [[Special:Contributions/198.41.238.107|198.41.238.107]] 05:49, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
:Looks like an image is "moving" into the frame because at the moment you can see some white pixel in the lower left, i.e. the black part might end up as a line as part of some comic. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.89.8|162.158.89.8]] 08:31, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
::Thanks used that to pinpoint the start of the countdown. Have added this info to the header text page, and the original trivia. Also just added a line of trivia to this explanation with the link. This was when this comic came out most people noticed the count down. But it did came out while [[Latency]] was up. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 08:43, 11 January 2022 (UTC)

The header changes page says that it's forcing "Friday" to move down to the next line. Not for me. Did he fix it, or is it browser-specific? [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 14:58, 11 January 2022 (UTC)

This is much more likely a count down related to the James Webb Space Telescope. At approximately the day the count down indicates the telescope will be orbiting the L2 gravitational spot.Perhaps most of the mirrors will be approximate place to allow for months of fine tuning. An example of a slightly similar idea is https://www.space.com/nasa-james-webb-space-telescope-next-steps
[[User:Punchcard|Punchcard]] ([[User talk:Punchcard|talk]]) 15:35, 11 January 2022 (UTC)

I think the Countdown should get its own entry. What do we think? [[User:Sure|Sure]] ([[User talk:Sure|talk]]) 16:25, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
: I think it should! What with the count itself, the speculation about what it could mean, and now the slowly arriving image (?) this seems like something beyond either of the two comics since it started! [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.49|108.162.219.49]] 18:00, 11 January 2022 (UTC)

724: Hell

2014-03-20T14:13:50Z

108.162.219.49: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 724
| date = April 7, 2010
| title = Hell
| image = hell.png
| titletext = There's also a Katamari level where everything is just slightly bigger than you, and a Mario level with a star just out of reach.
}}

==Explanation==
Tetris is a game where the player has to manipulate falling blocks into forming complete rows. This comic is a play on this, presenting the player with a version of the game with a curved bottom that renders forming rows nearly impossible. Hell is a religious concept of a posthumous punishment for wrongdoers, depicted in many religions as eternal torment.

The title text presents similar situations where frustration is likely to occur. ''{{w|Katamari_(series)|Katamari Damacy}}'' is a video game in which the player controls a sticky sphere which grows by assimilating objects smaller than itself. ''{{w|Super_Mario_(series)|Super Mario}}'' is a long-running franchise of platforming games; in most of the games which utilize a 3-dimensional engine, levels are completed by collecting large, golden stars.

Also see comic [[888: Heaven]], which presents an opposing situation in which the game is trying to help the player win.

There is a playable version of this comic at [http://www.geekosystem.com/xkcd-tetris-hell-game/ geekosystem], which, unsurprisingly, is frustratingly difficult ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reFPscApObs but not impossible]) to play.

==Transcript==
:[A basic Tetris screen is depicted, with a next piece indicator, score and top score, and level listed as 01. The bottom of the pit is curved into a semicircle. A square and L piece are sitting crookedly in the pit; an S piece is falling.]
:HELL

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Video games]]

1334: Second

2014-02-25T15:41:38Z

108.162.219.49: clarity

{{comic
| number = 1334
| date = February 24, 2014
| title = Second
| image = second.png
| titletext = Let me just scroll down and check behind that rock. Annnnd ... nope, page copyright year starts with '19'. Oh God, is this a WEBRING?
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Google}} is a popular search engine. Google's searching algorithms are widely regarded as the most accurate and useful. If your search terms were sufficiently detailed, you will be able to find what you were looking for on the first page. Having to view the second page indicates your search terms were too vague or the answer to your query doesn't exist.

[[Cueball]], after failing to find his query in the first page of results, takes a curious peek at the second page. This is represented by a not-at-all subtle metaphor in which Cueball is about to wander into a sun-baked desert. According to the title text, he finds one vaguely relevant webpage, but it's over {{#expr:{{CURRENTYEAR}}-2000}} years old.

The title text refers to {{w|webring}}s. Web consist of multiple websites that are connected together, usually with a common theme. They connect from one website to the next, eventually leading back to the starting site. They were popular in the 1990's.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball in a desert standing before a rock.]
:Rock: Greetings, stranger.
:Rock: Whatever quest drives you, '''''abandon it.'''''
:Rock: You shall find no answers in these desolate wastes.
:Cueball: I knew I wouldn't.
:Cueball: I guess I... just had to see.

:I hate feeling desperate enough to visit the second page of Google results.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Internet]]

1334: Second

2014-02-24T14:20:09Z

108.162.219.49:

{{comic
| number = 1334
| date = February 24, 2014
| title = Second
| image = second.png
| titletext = Let me just scroll down and check behind that rock. Annnnd ... nope, page copyright year starts with '19'. Oh God, is this a WEBRING?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Incomplete.}}
{{w|Google}} is a popular search engine. Google's searching algorithms are widely regarded as the most accurate and useful, so if your search terms were sufficiently detailed, you should be finding whatever you were looking for on the first page. If you ever find yourself having to look through the second page, it's (most likely) either because your search terms were too vague, or your query doesn't exist.

[[Cueball]], after failing to find his query in the first page of results, takes a curious peek at the second page for the hell of it; this is represented by a not-at-all subtle metaphor in which Cueball is about to wander into a sun-baked desert. According to the title text, he finds one vaguely relevant webpage, but it's over fourteen years old.

{{w|Desperation}} is a feeling of hopelessness and knowledge of that there will be no satisfying outcome of ones actions.

The title text refers to {{w|webring}}s, which are loops of sites, eventually leading to the starting site. They were popular in the 1990's.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball in a desert standing before a rock.]
:Rock: Greetings, stranger.
:Rock: Whatever quest drives you, '''''abandon it.'''''
:Rock: You shall find no answers in these desolate wastes.
:Cueball: I knew I wouldn't.
:Cueball: I guess I... just had to see.

:I hate feeling desperate enough to visit the second page of Google results.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Internet]]

1286: Encryptic

2013-11-11T17:43:50Z

108.162.219.49: /* Passwords */

{{comic
| number = 1286
| date = November 4, 2013
| title = Encryptic
| image = encryptic.png
| titletext = It was bound to happen eventually. This data theft will enable almost limitless [xkcd.com/792]-style password reuse attacks in the coming weeks. There's only one group that comes out of this looking smart: Everyone who pirated Photoshop.
}}

==Explanation==
Web sites and other computers that authenticate users via passwords need to be able to know if the user typed in the right password. But storing the password itself on the computer has been known to be unnecessarily risky since the publication of [http://www.neurosecurity.com/articles/security/passwd.pdf Password Security: A Case History] in 1978. In that paper, Robert Morris and Ken Thompson demonstrated the practice of using a slow, cryptographically-secure one-way {{w|Hash function|hash function}}, so that even if the password file is stolen, it will be very hard to figure out what the passwords are, so long as the passwords themselves are suitably complex. They also pioneered the use of {{w|Salt (cryptography)|a “salt”}} which makes each password hash completely different even if two users use the same password. See [http://security.blogoverflow.com/2011/07/a-tour-of-password-questions-and-answers/ A tour of password questions and answers] for background on salts and suitably slow hash functions.

Adobe, however, ignored these well-known principles, and instead stored over a hundred million passwords in a reversably encrypted way, using a terrible choice of encryption methods which exposes a great deal of information about the passwords, and does not involve a salt. This password database was recently obtained by someone and released on the Internet.

In particular, Adobe used {{w|Triple DES}}, an older encryption algorithm which can still be relatively secure when properly used but they used it improperly. It works on 64-bit (8 character) blocks. Assuming that the passwords are stored in plain ASCII, this means that a sequence of 8 characters in a password which starts on a character position which is a multiple of eight is always encrypted to the same result. Therefore two passwords starting with “12345678” would start with the same block after being encrypted. Furthermore, this means that you can actually get a very good idea of the length of the password since anything with only one block is a password with length between 1 and 8 characters, and having two blocks implies it has between 9 and 16 characters, etc.

Adobe also stored hints users created for their passwords. That means that an attacker knows not only if the same 8 characters are used for multiple passwords but also has some hints for guessing them. That means that common password portions should be easy to recover and that any user may be “compromised” by someone else using a part of the same password and providing a good hint. As an example, a password having three hints “Big Apple”, “Twin Towers” and “If you can make it there” is probably “New York” (or a simple variation on that). The weakness here is that no decryption and therefore no hard cracking has to take place, you just group the passwords by their encrypted blocks and try to solve them like a crossword puzzle. These weaknesses have already been used to presumably identify a password used by {{w|Edward Snowden}}, as discussed at [http://7habitsofhighlyeffectivehackers.blogspot.com/2013/11/can-someone-be-targeted-using-adobe.html 7 Habits of Highly Effective Hackers: Can someone be targeted using the Adobe breach?].

The examples are not taken from the actual leaked file, since that [http://arstechnica.com/security/2013/11/how-an-epic-blunder-by-adobe-could-strengthen-hand-of-password-crackers/ uses a different format], and the examples are evidently cleverly crafted to make a nice crossword-like puzzle, which can be solved as shown in the Passwords section below.

As mentioned on http://filosottile.github.io/analyzing-the-adobe-leaked-passwords/ the data in the comic isn't real and contains a hidden message.
If the "user password" hashes are Base64 encoded, they read:
<pre>ThiswasnotagooduseofyourtimeButthenagainitwasprobablynotagooduseofmytimeeith
erAndyethereweareXOXOXOLetsLiveHereInThisTinySecretEncodedTextWorldForever==</pre>

E.g., with the initial unique hash blocks: <tt>python -c "print '4e18acc1ab27a2d6a0a2876eb1ea1fca'.decode('hex_codec').encode('base64')"</tt>)

The last letter "r" is not fully encoded in the data shown, but any letter from "g" to "v" produces the same binary data.

The title text makes a reference to a previous comic: [[792|Black Hat’s trouble with what to do with stolen passwords]]. It also states that users of pirated Photoshop are the winners here. This is because in order to make Photoshop pirate-able, it was modified (cracked) by removing the requirement for registration so their passwords were not sent to Adobe and therefore are not present in the leaked file.

The title itself is a reference to [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cryptic_crossword cryptic crosswords]

==Passwords==
Note that characters in the passwords could be upper or lower case, and they may involve common substitutions like "0" (number zero) for "O" (letter O); therefore, the clues cannot guarantee that the answer shown here is precisely correct. Nevertheless, we have plenty of information for a brute force attack.

{|class="wikitable"
! Input
! Hint
! Password
! Explanation
|-
|<tt>4e18acc1ab27a2d6</tt>
|weather vane sword
|<tt>{{w|Saint_Matthias|matthias}}</tt>
|In ''{{w|Redwall}}'', several characters are associated with a sword hung from a weather vane, but only Matthias shares the name of an apostle (6 lines down).
|-
|<tt>4e18acc1ab27a2d6</tt>
|
|<tt>matthias</tt>
|Although no hint was used, we know this password too, since it matches the previous one.
|-
|<tt>4e18acc1ab27a2d6 a0a2876eb1ea1fca</tt>
|name1
|<tt>matthias1</tt>
|Even without knowing the user's name, we already know how this starts, so the clue gives us a pretty good idea how it finishes (and another block useful 2 lines down)
|-
|<tt>8babb6299e06eb6d</tt>
|duh
|<tt>password</tt>
|Unfortunately, this is all too common, and the user practically told us that it's an easy one.
|-
|<tt>8babb6299e06eb6d a0a2876eb1ea1fca</tt>
|
|<tt>password1</tt>
|Although no hint was used, we know this by combining the previous two.
|-
|<tt>8babb6299e06eb6d 85e9da81a8a78adc</tt>
|57
|<tt>password57</tt>
|Since we know how this begins, this is a good guess.
|-
|<tt>4e18acc1ab27a2d6</tt>
|favorite of 12 apostles
|<tt>matthias</tt>
|This has only 12 possibilities to begin with (plus variant spellings, variant lists, and one replacement), but actually we know already which one by combining with the clue 6 lines up. (Surprise: it's the replacement!)
|-
|<tt>1ab29ae86da6e5ca 7a2d6a0a2876eb1e</tt>
|with your own hand you have done all this
|<tt>Judith1510</tt>
|This is a quotation from [http://www.biblestudytools.com/nrsa/judith/15-10.html Judith 15:10] in the Bible.
|-
|<tt>a1f9b2b6299e7a2b eadec1e6ab797397</tt>
|sexy earlobes
|<tt>{{w|Charlie_Sheen|Charlie Sheen}}</tt>
|This refers to an episode of ''{{w|Two and a Half Men}}''. Other answers are possible, but only this one fits the next line.
|-
|<tt>a1f9b2b6299e7a2b 617ab0277727ad85</tt>
|best TOS episode
|<tt>{{w|Charlie_X|Charlie X}}</tt>
|"{{w|Star_Trek:_The_Original_Series|TOS}}" refers to the original series of ''{{w|Star Trek}}''. Although this had dozens of episodes, only one fits the previous line as well as the next line.
|-
|<tt>39738b7adb0b8af7 617ab0277727ad85</tt>
|Sugarland
|<tt>HoustonTX</tt>
|{{w|Sugar_Land,_Texas|Sugarland}} is a suburb of {{w|Houston}}, {{w|Texas}}. This fits with the previous line.
|-
|<tt>1ab29ae86da6e5ca</tt>
|name + jersey#
|<tt>Judith15</tt>
|Even if we knew this user's name, we wouldn't know their jersey number. But the clue 4 lines up already gave us the answer.
|-
|<tt>877ab7889d3862b1</tt>
|alpha
|<tt>abc</tt>
|This password is also far too common, but this clue still isn't enough to narrow it down. Combine with the clue 4 lines below, however, and it's quite easy.
|-
|<tt>877ab7889d3862b1</tt>
|
|<tt>abc</tt>
|No hint, but the same as the surrounding passwords.
|-
|<tt>877ab7889d3862b1</tt>
|
|<tt>abc</tt>
|No hint, but the same as the surrounding passwords.
|-
|<tt>877ab7889d3862b1</tt>
|obvious
|<tt>abc</tt>
|Same as the surrounding passwords.
|-
|<tt>877ab7889d3862b1</tt>
|Michael Jackson
|<tt>abc</tt>
|{{w|Michael Jackson}} did many songs, but only one was {{w|ABC_(song)|alphabetical}} (4 lines up).
|-
|<tt>38a7c9279cadeb44 9dca1d79d4dec6d5</tt>
|
|
|No hint, but the same as the one below.
|-
|<tt>38a7c9279cadeb44 9dca1d79d4dec6d5</tt>
|he did the mash, he did the
|<tt></tt>
|''probably a reference to the {{w|Monster Mash}}, or to an actor in the show/film {{w|M*A*S*H}}; possibly a "keyboard mash" (e.g. asdfghjkl)''
|
|-
|<tt>38a7c9279cadeb44</tt>
|purloined
|<tt></tt>
|''possibly a reference to the Edgar Allen Poe story "{{w|The Purloined Letter}}"''
|-
|<tt>a8ae5745a2b7af7a 9dca1d79d4dec6d5</tt>
|fav water-3 {{w|List_of_Pokémon|Pokemon}}
|<tt></tt>
|''possible second block per [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Water_3_%28Egg_Group%29 Bulbapedia] are "el", "l", "le", "r", "t", "ta", "h", "a"''
|-
|}

==Transcript==
:Hackers recently leaked '''''153 million''''' Adobe user emails, encrypted passwords, and password hints.
:Adobe encrypted the passwords improperly, misusing block-mode 3DES. The result is something wonderful:

<pre>
User password Hint
------------- ----

4e18acc1ab27a2d6 weather vane sword
4e18acc1ab27a2d6
4e18acc1ab27a2d6 a0a2876eb1ea1fca name1
8babb6299e06eb6d duh
8babb6299e06eb6d a0a2876eb1ea1fca
8babb6299e06eb6d 85e9da81a8a78adc 57
4e18acc1ab27a2d6 favorite of 12 apostles
1ab29ae86da6e5ca 7a2d6a0a2876eb1e with your own hand you
have done all this
a1f9b2b6299e7a2b eadec1e6ab797397 sexy earlobes
a1f9b2b6299e7a2b 617ab0277727ad85 best tos episode
39738b7adb0b8af7 617ab0277727ad85 sugarland
1ab29ae86da6e5ca name + jersey#
877ab7889d3862b1 alpha
877ab7889d3862b1
877ab7889d3862b1
877ab7889d3862b1 obvious
877ab7889d3862b1 Michael Jackson
38a7c9279cadeb44 9dca1d79d4dec6d5
38a7c9279cadeb44 9dca1d79d4dec6d5 he did the mash, he did the
38a7c9279cadeb44 purloined
a8ae5745a2b7af7a 9dca1d79d4dec6d5 fav water-3 pokemon
</pre>

:The greatest crossword puzzle in the history of the world

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]