explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

2321: Low-Background Metal

2020-06-20T20:49:59Z

108.162.245.88: /* Explanation */ lead ingots were cargo

{{comic
| number = 2321
| date = June 17, 2020
| title = Low-Background Metal
| image = low_background_metal.png
| titletext = The only effect on the history books were a few confusing accounts of something called 'Greek fire.'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a TIME TRAVELER. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete.''Should the similarity of the premise to Avengers Endgame be mentioned?'' Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
In this comic, a team including [[Megan]] and [[Black Hat]] who have invented a {{w|time travel}} machine presents it and their problems to [[Cueball]]. Time travel is a common trope in science fiction, and specifically [[:Category:Time travel|here on xkcd]], and such a discovery would be likely to change the world as we know it. However, Megan and Black Hat's machine requires the use of "low-background" metal, which is in short supply.

Megan explains that, while delicate equipment is often shielded from radiation by lead, metal produced in modern times is contaminated by {{w|nuclear fallout}} in the atmosphere, which means that the shielding itself has enough radioactivity to interfere with highly delicate equipment. In order to shield this equipment, "low-background metal" is salvaged from sunken ships. Lead ingots from Roman cargo have been used in experiments. The Roman lead was produced before atmospheric nuclear tests occurred{{Citation needed}} and therefore did not have {{w|radionuclides}} in the air used in its manufacture. Because it has spent many centuries continually underwater, it is both shielded from radioactive particles, and has had time for natural radioactivity to fade.

The number of shipwrecks of that age that can be found and successfully salvaged for metal is quite small, which puts this material in short supply. Megan mentions that they have only enough for a single trip. The team realizes (apparently at [[Black Hat]]'s suggestion), that a solution is to use their single trip to take modern military hardware back to the era of the {{w|Roman Empire}} and use it to sink multiple ships. This would both provide for many more shipwrecks to salvage, and give the team a good idea of where those wrecks were, when they returned to modern times. They could also specifically target ships that were in waters that are well-suited for salvage operations.

{{w|Low-background steel}} is the most famous kind of low-background metal, used in real life for highly sensitive particle detectors in physics and medicine, and is salvaged from ships sunk before 1945 (the {{w|Trinity (nuclear test)|Trinity nuclear test}}). Since this is steel the ships used typically date back to World War I or World War II.

The title text refers to {{w|Greek fire}}, which was an incendiary weapon invented and employed by the Byzantine empire. It was a flammable liquid, famously said to burn on water, that was used in naval combat to set fire to enemy ships. As it was a closely-guarded military secret, many of the details have been lost to time, and modern chemists have only been able to develop educated guesses of what it ''probably'' was. Randall proposes a rather outlandish alternative hypothesis: that all records of Greek fire were actually in reference to the modern weapons used by the time travelers.

In [[1063: Kill Hitler]] a single-use time machine is available. It is also used by Black Hat. However, due to the way the time machine in this comic is used, it must be assumed that they can use it again after the salvage of lead from the sunken ships.

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat stands behind Megan who addresses Cueball who stands on the other side of a table with a machine. The machine is a rectangular box with a small dome with one large and two small antennas on top. It seems to point in Cueball's direction as it has a broad protrusion at the back and protrusion at the front that gets smaller towards the tip. A large word is written on the side, and below that is possibly more illegible text.]
:Megan: Our time machine works.
:Megan: But we're almost out of low-background metal.
:Cueball: What's that?
:Machine: Time

:[Close-up on Megan who lifts her hand palm up.]
:Megan: Modern metal is contaminated by fallout from nuclear testing, and lead also has natural radioactivity that fades over time.
:Megan: To shield sensitive equipment, physicists use lead from sunken Roman ships.
:Megan: But shipwreck lead is hard to find.

:[Back to the original setting, Megan has turned to Black Hat, who has his hand on his chin.]
:Black Hat: How much do we have?
:Megan: Enough for one trip through time.
:Black Hat: ''Hmmm...''

:[The three are now in a helicopter, with Megan piloting, Cueball as a passenger in the back, and Black Hat firing a flamethrower at a Roman ship beneath them through the window behind the cockpit. Two sailors with Roman type helmets are looking on as the stern of their ship catches fire. One of them throwing his arms out to the side. The intact sail is still up behind them and behind that another sailor jumps into the water, down to a fourth sailor already in the water. Two already-burning ships can also be seen to the left of the ship under attack. One is burning all over, with the mast still up but the sail long gone, and the third ship is almost completely sunk, but the part above the water is aflame. Seven small clouds are around the helicopter in the sky.]
:Flamethrower: ''Fwooosh''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Time travel]]
[[Category:Physics]]

Talk:2322: ISO Paper Size Golden Spiral

2020-06-19T17:36:55Z

108.162.245.88:

It annoys me that the hover text says 11/8.5 = pi/4, when 8.5/11≈0.77272727272 and pi/4≈0.78539816339. Claiming 8.5/11 equals pi/4 would be a much more beleiveable lie. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.79.37|162.158.79.37]] 15:29, 19 June 2020 (UTC)

The explanation says that the A series "side lengths shrink by a factor of the square root of two" but that's not true. The width of A(n+1) is half the length of A(n) as depicted. The sqrt(2) ratio referenced is between the length and width of any one piece of paper.[[Special:Contributions/172.69.62.124|172.69.62.124]] 15:35, 19 June 2020 (UTC)
:The side lengths do shrink by a factor of sqrt(2): the width of A(n) is sqrt(2) times the width of A(n+1), the length of A(n) is sqrt(2) times the length of A(n+1). Your statement that "the width of A(n+1) is half the length of A(n)" is also true, but it does not contradict that each step in the A-series shrinks the sides by a factor of sqrt(2). [[User:Zmatt|Zmatt]] ([[User talk:Zmatt|talk]]) 16:09, 19 June 2020 (UTC)

Fixed it [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.61|162.158.74.61]] 15:43, 19 June 2020 (UTC)

Hi ! How come 11/8.5 = Pi/4 ? First one is more thant 1, second one is less than one... Although Pi/4 and 8.5/11 (or the reverse) are pretty similar, as usual in "let's annoy mathematicians" Randall's style...

https://xkcd.com/spiral/ --[[Special:Contributions/188.114.103.233|188.114.103.233]] 17:22, 19 June 2020 (UTC)

I understand why it annoys mathematicians (it's not the golden ratio), but why does it annoy graphics designers? Please add explanation!

2319: Large Number Formats

2020-06-13T23:13:38Z

108.162.245.88: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2319
| date = June 12, 2020
| title = Large Number Formats
| image = large number formats-2.png
| titletext = 10^13.4024: A person who has come back to numbers after a journey deep into some random theoretical field
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by ABRAHAM LINCOLN. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This comic shows how different people express large numbers. This number in question is approximately the distance from the planet Earth to the planet Jupiter as of June 2020, in {{w|inch|inches}} (1 inch = 2.54 cm).

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Number
! Type of person
! Notes
|-
| 25,259,974,097,204
| Normal Person
| This is the full number, written out in the normal fashion, with commas to indicate powers of 1000. Although writing out the number in full is indeed a common action for normal people, the specific comma convention depicted here is only considered normal in the Anglo-Saxon world; conventions for writing large numbers in full vary considerably across cultures. For example, in countries where the comma is used as a {{w|decimal separator}} (including Europe outside the UK), one would write the number as 25.259.974.097.204 (or 25'259'974'097'204 in Switzerland, or 25 259 974 097 204 in Poland, France and Estonia). Under the {{w|Indian numbering system}}, this number would be written as 25,25,997,40,97,204.
|-
| 25 Trillion
| Normal Person
| This is the number, rounded to trillions in the normal fashion.
|-
| 25 Billion
| Old British Person
| In current English usage, across the anglophonic world with some hold-outs, an n-illion means 10^(3n+3) as per the {{w|short scale}} system popularised by American influence in international trade, so a trillion means 10^12, as above. However, older British English use had an n-illion meaning 10^(6n) (i.e. the simpler calculation of ''million^n''), so a billion meant 10^12. The change stems from a 1974 commitment by Harold Wilson, the Prime Minister of the UK at the time, to change from the {{w|long scale}} (previously often described as the British system) to the short one for all official purposes.

Though not instantly widely adopted for common usage, the mid-'70s could therefore be considered the key turning point between when an older or younger British person learns (as the change filters through the system at various stages of education) what their "Billion"s and "Trillion"s are supposed to represent.

(The 1971 transition to decimalised currency may also date a person's experiences, but was a more comprehensive and immediate change for everyone who handled any money at all, in the UK, and thus was a more definite point of change apart from the extended survival of the "12 times table" being taught by rote in primary education, rather than ending at the 10s.)

As well as 'traditionalist' British use, the Long Scale is widely used in the non-anglophone world, in local language versions, though while the British system tended to infill n-and-a-half powers of the million with the term "thousand n-illion", the suffix "-illi''ard''", or equivalent, is often used for the thousands multiple directly atop the respective "-illion" point.
|-
|2.526x1013
|Scientist
|This number is formatted in {{w|scientific notation}}, using the exponent 1013.
|-
| 2.525997x1013
| Scientist trying to avoid rounding up
| Using as many decimal places as necessary until hitting a digit (0-4) that results in rounding down, even if it goes against the common scientific practice of reporting the correct amount of "significant figures". [[:File:large number formats.png|A previous version of the comic]] had a typo (the number was ''2.5997x1013''), but Randall updated the comic.
|-
| 2.526e13 or
2.526*10^13
| Software developer
| Computer code cannot typically use the superscripts or other types of rich text formatting, so the exponent is indicated with the {{w|caret}}. "e13" is {{w|Scientific notation#E notation|(scientific) E notation}} for the expression "10 raised to the power of 13".
|-
| 25,259,973,541,888
| Software developer who forgot about floats
| This is the number after being converted to the limited precision of a {{w|32-bit floating point|32-bit float}}.
|-
| 1013
| Astronomer
| For extremely large distances, astronomers typically only care about orders of magnitude, i.e. 1013, not 1012 or 1014. Randall often jokes about the lack of precision needed by astronomers, such as in xkcd #[[2205]] where the astronomer-cosmologist is equally willing to make pi equal to one, or ten. The original number is rounded to the nearest power of ten.
|-
| {∅,{∅},{∅,{∅}},{∅,{∅},{...
| Set theorist
| In {{w|Zermelo–Fraenkel set theory}}, the natural numbers are defined recursively by letting 0 = ∅ (the {{w|empty set}}), and ''n'' + 1 = ''n'' ∪ {''n''}. So, every natural number ''n'' is the set of all natural numbers less than ''n'', and since 0 is defined as the empty set, all numbers are nested sets of empty sets. Note that writing out the full number in this fashion would take more than its square in number of characters; that is to say, if each character took up one square centimeter, this "number" would not fit on a square piece of paper whose edge reached to Jupiter.
|-
| 1,262,998,704,860 score and four
| Abraham Lincoln
| In the {{W|Gettysburg Address}}, Lincoln speaks the number "87" as "four score and seven" ("score" meaning "20"). Base-20 or {{w|vigesimal}} numeral systems are or have been used in pre-Columbian-American, African and many other cultures. In French it is used only for higher numbers (e.g. 92 = quatre-vingt-douze). In English it can appear in certain archaic and classic contexts, such as the King James translation of the Bible ("threescore years and ten" to be the life expectancy of a human according to Psalm 90:10). In these cases, a number is written in "score" (multiples of 20) plus a remainder.
|-
| 10^13.4024 ''(title text)''
| A person who has come back to numbers after a journey deep into some random theoretical field
| In some fields of mathematics, especially those dealing with very {{w|large numbers}}, numbers are sometimes represented by raising ten (or some other convenient base) to an oddly precise power, to facilitate comparison of their magnitudes without filling up pages upon pages of digits. An example of this is {{w|Skewes's number}}, which is formally calculated to be ''e''''e''''e''79, but is more commonly approximated as 10101034. 13.4024 is the {{w|common logarithm}} of 25,259,974,097,204 (log10 25,259,974,097,204 = 13.4024329009); thus, this "format" is still mathematically correct, but uncommon.
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[A panel only with text. At the top there is four lines of explanatory text. Below that there are 5 rows of number formats. There are 2 columns in each row. Each numerical format is in red, with black text explaining the format below it.]

:<big>What the way you write large</big>
:<big>numbers says about you</big>
:(Using the approximate current distance
:to Jupiter in inches as an example)

:[First row:]
:25,259,974,097,204
:Normal person
:25 trillion
:Normal person

:[Second row:]
:25 billion
:Old British person
:2.526x1013
:Scientist

:[Third row:]
:2.525997x1013
:Scientist trying to avoid rounding up
:2.526e13 or 2.526*10^13
:Software developer

:[Fourth row:]
:25,259,973,541,888
:Software developer who forgot about floats
:1013
:Astronomer

:[Fifth row:]
:{∅,{∅},{∅,{∅}},{∅,{∅},{...
:Set theorist
:1,262,998,704,860 score and four
:Abraham Lincoln

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category: Programming]]
[[Category: Math]]
[[Category: Astronomy]]
[[Category: Science]]
[[Category:Comics featuring politicians]]

Talk:1876: Eclipse Searches

2017-08-14T21:43:15Z

108.162.245.88:

I don't get it. - BK {{unsigned ip|108.162.216.16}}

Because people are apparently (according to the Google-search data, anyways) more excited about the upcoming eclipse than they were about the election, Cueball is predicting that society is going to go a little crazy when the eclipse actually happens. Megan adds that the traffic jams will likely be insurmountable and "if you're planning to be on the road, bring water"--i.e., don't expect to go anywhere fast. In the title text Mr. Munroe further explains this statement, noting that past eclipses have generated bad traffic jams and those were before the days of widespread social media networking, which will certainly make matters much worse. [[User:Berets|Berets]] ([[User talk:Berets|talk]]) 17:21, 14 August 2017 (UTC)

::To be fair, not that many of us were excited for election day. The Trumpists were excited. The #imwithheriguess weren't. We wanted Clinton because she wasn't Trump. Nervous about the insanity that would occur if Trump won, but not excited about the mediocrity that would happen if Clinton won. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.88|108.162.245.88]] 21:43, 14 August 2017 (UTC)

:I guess the association with traffic jams is that in the USofA, people are used to stand for hours in line to vote. --[[Special:Contributions/198.41.242.29|198.41.242.29]] 17:47, 14 August 2017 (UTC)

I remember the 1970 eclipse! Here in Northern Virginia, it was nearly total. I was nine and my dad made us a pinhole camera. Now I'm gonna have to make one for my kids, since it looks like the goggles are pretty much sold out. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.255.118|162.158.255.118]] 19:08, 14 August 2017 (UTC)

I understand this XKCD differently. The fact that no one looks up "eclipse" is that something bad will happen during it, that's why Cueball is urged to bring water, as in essential survival gear. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.106|108.162.216.106]] 20:12, 14 August 2017 (UTC) AM

Talk:1874: Geologic Faults

2017-08-11T08:06:16Z

108.162.245.88:

Faults are not necessarily caused on plate boundaries - they can happen anywhere. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.146.16|162.158.146.16]] 04:41, 10 August 2017 (UTC)

Totally missed an opportunity for a Lego Fault.[[Special:Contributions/108.162.212.251|108.162.212.251]] 13:43, 9 August 2017 (UTC)
:Both LEGO and BRIO in the same comic would have been too many toys. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.134.196|162.158.134.196]] 14:38, 9 August 2017 (UTC)
::I agree, but I think he should have gone with Lego instead, more universally recognized. I know "Brio" as a Spanish Cola. :) [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 02:41, 11 August 2017 (UTC)

The alt text reminds me of how Earthquakes are depicted in movies, where a massive rift opens up in the Earth. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.75.10|162.158.75.10]] 13:48, 9 August 2017 (UTC)

I was totally expecting the Amigara Fault in there [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.112|108.162.216.112]] 14:10, 9 August 2017 (UTC)

Probably only for Germans, but the comedian Otto Waalkes invented that soap bar long ago in the seventies: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKOcmLiujAI Keili]. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 16:01, 9 August 2017 (UTC)

No seg fault to the left or right of the image? Unfortunate. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.78.16|172.68.78.16]] 16:56, 9 August 2017 (UTC)

Your fault: 💔 [[User:SilverMagpie|SilverMagpie]] ([[User talk:SilverMagpie|talk]]) 19:24, 9 August 2017 (UTC)

Well, the "taffy fault" is named as a joke, it is quite similar to "rift faults". These are several normal faults going on at the same time at both sides of a valley. The "soap fault" is not impossible.

Another terrifying thing about living near a bag-of-chips fault is that usually the things near the tears in chip bags get eaten. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.238.95|108.162.238.95]] 04:48, 10 August 2017 (UTC)

The "soap fault" is nothing but two reverse faults with a narrow wedge between them. A geologist would refer to the two faults separately, but to the general public, "soap faulting" would be a clear, and accurate, term.

The "splinted fault" is probably related to the ''plates'' used to fix broken bones.

The "Apple Power Cable Fault" I took as less a reference to MagSafe connectors and more a reference to iDevice power cords (both the old 30-pin and the current Lightning), whose shielding is so soft and fragile, this kind of tearing always happens, even with the most gentle handling. Actually, it hasn't seemed like the MagSafe connectors have had this fragility problem, at least not to me. [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 02:38, 11 August 2017 (UTC)

* If the "soap fault" actually occurred, we would probably have a name for it, like we do for the similar formations called horsts and grabens. But it just doesn't seem to be how the crust behaves. [[User:D5xtgr|D5xtgr]] ([[User talk:D5xtgr|talk]]) 03:15, 11 August 2017 (UTC)

::I think if the Soap fault were real, it would be incredibly dangerous. Messing with its structural integrity or mass in a significant way would doubtless trigger a quake. Parts calving off the great wall of faultlandia during a quake would potentially exacerbate the issue, and it would likely be prone to weathering in ways that encourage instability. Worse still, it could be thousands of miles long, vertical, near-vertical, or overhanging cliffs miles tall, and rivers or huge waterfalls would flow off both sides. Earthquakes could cause considerable changes in elevation either up or down, or in areas where it generates an exposed cliff face, cause chunks of rock the size of small mountains to calve off. In other words, it would be an utterly-impassable cliff or mountain-like structure that was prone to huge earthquakes and shedding debris onto anything nearby. Any infrastructure you tried to use to go through or over it would need to deal with these quakes and would cost an absolute fortune to build and even more to maintain against continuous Earthquakes.[[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.88|108.162.245.88]] 08:06, 11 August 2017 (UTC)

1869: Positive and Negative Reviews

2017-07-28T15:41:39Z

108.162.245.88:

{{comic
| number = 1869
| date = July 28, 2017
| title = Positive and Negative Reviews
| image = positive and negative reviews.png
| titletext = This restaurant is great! I was feeling really sick, but then I ate there and felt better!
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|New page}}

The comic shows reviews from people who purchased a made-up {{w|sports drink}} multi-pack containing twelve 20 oz (591 mL) bottles. The people who gave negative reviews are {{w|Merlin}} (the wizard from the legends of King Arthur) and B. Button (from the short story ''{{w|The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (short story)|The Curious Case of Benjamin Button}}'' and its {{w|The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (film)|film adaptation}}). Merlin remembers the future; in the {{w|T. H. White}} novel series ''{{w|The Once and Future King}}'', he was born at the wrong end of time and has to live backwards. Benjamin Button was born with the physical appearance of an old man and grows younger as time progresses. They apparently perceive causation backwards: Merlin was thirsty then he drank the SmartQuench 9000, but he perceived it as drinking and then becoming thirsty, while BButton was {{w|Dehydration|dehydrated}} and was not anymore after drinking 3 bottles, but perceived it other way around. It could also be true that, since if you drink too much water your kidneys can no longer sense when you're full, he drank too much water and felt dehydrated. Something else could also happen if you drink too much water, that makes you dehydrated.

Particles of {{w|matter}} can have a positive or negative {{w|electric charge}}. Particles have associated {{w|antiparticle}}s with opposite charge. For example {{w|electron}}s are negatively charged particles, and their antiparticles are {{w|positron}}s, which are positively charged. Antiparticles can be {{w|Feynman_diagram|interpreted}} as if they were the associated particle moving backward in time: positrons are interpreted as electrons moving backward in time. This is analogous to negative reviews being interpreted as positive reviews from people traveling backward in time.

The caption seems to say that there are only positive experiences—some going forward, some backward in life. However, Randall gives an example in the title text of a positive review which is actually about a negative experience by a person traveling backward in time (the person ate at a restaurant then got sick). The conclusion is there are both positive and negative events, but the way they are perceived depends on both the event and whether one sees it going forward or backward in time.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}
:[A picture with four small bottles and a larger one is shown. The text to the right reads:]
:SmartQuench 9000
:Sports Drink
:20 oz  12-pack

:[Below is a list with reviews; a picture for the user (avatar) and the name below, the rating (in stars) and the text to the right.]
:---Customer reviews---
:Amy 2015 [4 of 5 stars] Perfect after a run
:Anon513 [5 of 5 stars] My favorite flavor
:Merlin [1 of 5 stars] Drinking this made me thirstier
:Mike63 [4 of 5 stars] Good price
:B Button [1 of 5 stars] Drank 3 bottles on a hot day and got dehydrated!

:[Caption below the frame:]
:Physics tells us that negative reviews are really just positive reviews from people traveling backward in time.

==Trivia==
*The use of the phrase 'physics tells us...' may be alluding to the way people use 'physics' or 'science' to justify nonsense. See [[1240: Quantum Mechanics]] and [[1475: Technically]].
*There are many examples of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MerlinSickness "Merlin Sickness"] in fiction. Merlin was mentioned earlier in [[270: Merlin]].

{{comic discussion}}


[[Category:Food]]

1018: Good Cop, Dadaist Cop

2017-07-26T03:17:29Z

108.162.245.88:

{{comic
| number = 1018
| date = February 17, 2012
| title = Good Cop, Dadaist Cop
| image = good_cop_dadaist_cop.png
| titletext = NOW INVENT AN IMPOSSIBLE-TO-TRANSLATE LANGUAGE AND USE IT TO TELL US WHERE THE MONEY IS.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a play on the well known {{w|Good cop/bad cop|Good Cop/Bad Cop}}(where one interrogator is nice and friendly and the other is mean and intimidating) police interrogation strategy and the artistic movement {{w|Dadaism}}.

Dadaism is an artistic movement which by its definition is irrational. The movement embraces the free flow of unreasoned thought and prizes nonsense and rejection of established norms. As such, the entire concept of "Good Cop, Dadaist Cop" could be considered a dadaist concept in itself.

"Good Cop/Bad Cop" is a psychological tactic that may be employed during joint questioning or interrogation. The interrogators isolate the suspect, one of the interrogators acts unreasonable and untrustworthy (bad cop) and the other reasonable and trustworthy in comparison (good cop). If successful, it deceives the suspect into believing they must choose to trust one of the interrogators and the suspect chooses to co-operate with the good cop, or merely complies out of fear of the bad cop.

The comic starts with the "Good Cop", the male police officer, and the "Dadaist Cop", [[Ponytail]], working out their plan to interrogate the suspect, [[Hairy]]. After the Good Cop makes a few statements, intended to build trust with Hairy, and leaves to get coffee, Ponytail enters the interrogation and starts asking Hairy absurd questions. Hairy quickly becomes agitated, and questions what is wrong with Ponytail. Ponytail responds "What's wrong with ART?", which could suggest she believes the interrogation is artwork and should not be questioned. On the other hand actual responses would break the Dadaism pattern.

Good Cop/Bad Cop hinges on the suspect's fear and distrust of the intentions of the bad cop; thankfully for the police, Ponytail's "Dadaist Cop" seems to be a successful Bad Cop too judging by the suspect's fear of her irrational, unpredictable, and potential crazy behavior (not to mention loud and aggressive mannerisms).

The title text builds on the joke as by asking a suspect to give the whereabouts of the money in a dadaist manner, which would be completely useless in finding it. Such a statement could be used as a confession though.

===Irrationality===
*See this? It's Mark Zuckerberg's Mortgage. So why is it written in CHURCH LATIN?
**{{w|Mark Zuckerberg}} (the co-founder of {{w|Facebook}}) was renting in 2011[//allfacebook.com/mark-zuckerberg-moves-into-another-rental-house_b29174] and therefore did not have a {{w|mortgage}}.
***Even if Mark Zuckerberg had bought a property, it is unlikely (given his financial status) that he would have to take out a mortgage.
**Modern mortgages are typically written in the local vernacular; it would be very strange for one to be written in a dead language like {{w|Church Latin}}.
*"WHY ARE MY BONES SO SMALL?", "What's wrong with ART?"
**These are {{w|Non_sequitur_(logic)|non sequiturs}} and therefore have no place in an investigation.
*The title text: NOW INVENT AN IMPOSSIBLE-TO-TRANSLATE LANGUAGE AND USE IT TO TELL US WHERE THE MONEY IS.
**The location of the money cannot be conveyed to Ponytail if the information were expressed in a newly invented language that cannot be translated, and therefore would be useless to an investigation.

==Transcript==
:[Two police officers, a bald male and a Ponytail, both wearing peaked caps with white emblems, are standing in front of a window in a wall, with an electric socket in the bottom right corner. They look through the window into an interrogation chamber holding the handcuffed suspect Hairy, who is sitting on a chair. A lamp with the bulb beneath the shade hangs over Hairy. The lamp is lit as shown by lines indicating the lamp shines light.]
:Male officer: All right, let's try Good Cop, Dadaist Cop

:[The male police officer is seated in front of Hairy on another chair holding a hand with palm up in front of him. Hairy has his cuffed hands in his lap and his hair is in disarray.]
:Male officer: Look, you're a good guy. We can work this out. Hey, lemme get us some coffee.

:[In a slim frame-less panel the male officer leaves and Ponytail enters carrying a rolled up paper in her hand.]

:[Ponytail walks in holding the folded out paper out in one hand while pointing at it with the other hand. It is a document of indeterminate contents, but there are both text and figures on it. She threatens Hairy who pulls his leg up under him and hold his cuffed hand up in front of him leaning back away from her while three drops of sweat fly of the top of his head.]
:Ponytail: See this? It's Mark Zuckerberg's Mortgage.
:Ponytail: So why is it written in '''''church Latin?'''''

:[Ponytail physically rattles Hairy's head holding it in both hands, lines around his heads and below her elbow show the movement. Hairy has his hands straight in front of him.]
:Ponytail: '''''Why are my bones so small?'''''
:Hairy: What's '''''wrong''''' with you?!
:Ponytail: What's wrong with '''''art?'''''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]

1649: Pipelines

2017-07-24T15:34:32Z

108.162.245.88:

{{comic
| number = 1649
| date = February 29, 2016
| title = Pipelines
| before = [[#Explanation|↓ Skip to explanation ↓]]
| image = pipelines.png
| titletext = In the future, every single pipeline will lead to the bowl of a giant blender, and we'll all just show up with a bucket each day to take our share of the resulting smoothie.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|The table with all the items should be filled out with explanations etc. and the diameter should be calculated from real data (with references). Or with the new version of the table another column should be added with the use in gigaliter for each substance in the US to compare. Anyone who is up for calculating how long it would take to fill the pool with US saliva?}}

This comic follows a similar idea to the [[what if?]] ''{{what if|147|Niagara Straw}}'' from three days before this comic's release, where the entire water flow over {{w|Niagara Falls}} is imagined to be funneled through a straw (i.e. 7 mm diameter), with disastrous results.

In this comic [[Randall]] imagines what size pipes are necessary to carry US domestic production/consumption of various fluids if the flow rate were fixed at 4 meters per second. Randall notes that "many pipes would overlap", owing to the fact that consumption of one item as corn syrup would be due to the production of one of the others, in this case soda pop (another example, than the previous one which is actually mentioned in the comic, could be gasoline which is produced from petroleum ).

The top panel is in [http://store-xkcd-com.myshopify.com/products/actual-size-stickers actual size] (something Randall often jokes about, like in the very next released what if? ''{{what if|148|Eat the Sun}}'', where he shows part of the sun in actual size in the 2nd picture, but in this comic he ''actually'' means it). This means that if you look at the image in actual size (or measure lengths in the full size image) then the measured diameter is the diameter Randall has calculated the pipe should be, based on his data for the consumption of these substances.

In the second panel the pipes are too big for his drawing. To indicate the scale he has both inserted a woman ([[Blondie]],) and the top panel has been shrunk down to indicate how much larger the bottom panel is (this is similar to the link between the panels in [[980: Money]]). Using the size of the top panel and the smaller insert, it can be found that the scale is 20:1. The woman is 9 cm tall in the image, which makes her 180 cm — 5 feet 11 inches — in "real life". The pipe next to her for gasoline would have a diameter of 2.2 m.

Since the caption at the top mentions both fluid produced and consumed in the US it becomes very difficult to find out which number Randall uses. For instance the consumption of wine in the US and the production of wine in the US is not necessarily the same as wine is both imported and exported. Should there then be two pipes? Unlike similar comics (like Money mentioned above) there are no references for where Randall has the data for this comic.

As usual with xkcd, the absurdity — and improbability — of routing the entirety of each fluid through a single pipe at any point is the source of humor. In addition, despite Randall's stated assumption that all the fluids are magically flowing at the same rate as public water (4 meters per second), many could never actually do so; some "fluids" shown are too viscous (e.g. peanut butter, Silly Putty, meat), adhesive (e.g. maple syrup), or thermally impractical (e.g. glass, cheese, ice cream and yogurt). Lastly, many are just plain zany (e.g. saliva a reference to another what if? {{what if|144|Saliva Pool}}). Note that at the bottom of the last panel there is a much larger pipe for the tap water used by the public. All substances are listed below in the [[#Table|table]].

The title text refers to a possible future based on the idea of this comic in which all the pipes with the above-mentioned fluids will actually lead into the same hole as shown in the top right panel. This hole will then be the bowl of a giant blender that mixes all these substances together to a ''{{w|smoothie}}''. The future people will then just come up to this blender and get a bucket full of this mix each day. In reality, this would be an impractical method of getting all of the fluids. Setting the logistical considerations of such a setup aside, this would mean that ketchup and salsa, both intended for human consumption, would be mixed with fluids which are harmful to humans, such as windshield wiper fluid.

Note: "Soup" has been left out, and it might have been expected in this comic due to the similarity to this system with [[Beret Guy]]'s use of a "soup outlet" as an entrepreneur in [[1293: Job Interview]]. It is probably a larger pipeline than salsa and possibly even ketchup. However, there are many different varieties of soups, and most soup is probably not bought finished, both very good reasons to not include it in the chart. But still the idea of having a soup outlet is very similar to this comic.

===Table===
*All the substances are listed here in the "reading" order also used in the transcript.
*The diameter is for the inner part of the tube.
*GL is for GigaLiters - or Billion Liters. This is strictly the annual discharge of the Size (cm) column at 4 m/s.
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
|+ All substances with size as found in the picture, vs. size calculated from public information
|-
! scope="col" | Substance
! scope="col" | Size (cm)
! scope="col" | Annual Discharge (GL)
! scope="col" | Explanation
|-
| {{w|Toothpaste}}
| 3.5
| 0.121
| In the title text of [[1599: Water Delivery]] Randall claims that he as a child could not understand why there were no toothpaste pipe to his house when there was one for water. Given this is at the top, this is a clear allusion to this comment. Calculation is based on 542 g/year per capita consumption of toothpaste. Source:[https://www.google.com/search?q=toothpaste+consumption+by+country&tbm=isch&pf=m#imgrc=2wpGcxkoKlCvAM%3A here].
The year the graph was made in is estimated to be 2013, and 316.5 million estimated 2013 US population to calculate the diameter above.
|-
| {{w|Nail polish}}
| 0.4
| 0.000159
| Much less than acetone, which is used as a nail polish remover.
|-
| {{w|Windshield washer fluid}}
| 5.6
| 0.311
| Largely water
|-
| {{w|Silly putty}}
| 0.1
| 0.0000991
| Smallest diameter
|-
| {{w|Shampoo}}
| 4
| 0.159
| As most people wash hopefully every few days this would be a larger pipe.
|-
| {{w|Honey}}
| 5.2
| 0.268
|In both pure form and many honey products.
|-
| {{w|Blood donation|Donated blood}}
| 0.9
| 0.00803
| A small pipe as not many operations need a huge blood transfer.
|-
| {{w|Vanilla}}
| 0.4
| 0.000159
| Not the ice but the spice (which is black as the substance in the vanilla pipe).
|-
| {{w|Ketchup}}
| 5.2
| 0.268
| A huge ingredient in many products in the U.S. for example McDonalds
|-
| {{w|Salsa (sauce)|Salsa}}
| 3.6
| 0.128
| Smaller than a typical jar
|-
| {{w|Sunscreen}}
| 1.35
| 0.0181
| A smaller pipe that is largely dependent on the season
|-
| {{w|Personal lubricant}}
| 0.65
| 0.00419
| AKA "lube" (sexual lubricant)
|-
| {{w|LCD liquid}}
| 0.26
| 0.000670
| For {{w|Liquid-crystal display}}
|-
| {{w|Mayonnaise|Mayo}}
| 4.4
| 0.192
| Or mayonnaise
|-
| {{w|Printer ink}}
| 1.4
| 0.192
|Some offices and printing centres may need a medium size pipeline of ink.
|-
| {{w|Maple syrup}}
| 1.8
| 0.0178
| Used as a topping on pancakes. As it is a relatively popular ingredient it has a medium sized pipe
|-
| {{w|Hair conditioner|Conditioner}}
| 2.5
| 0.0620
| For hair
|-
| {{w|Mustard (condiment)|Mustard}}
| 3.7
| 0.136
| Like with ketchup popular topping but not so much.
|-
| {{w|Liquid soap}}
| 4.7
| 0.219
| A large pipeline as many people use this.
|-
| {{w|Olive oil}}
| 6.2
| 0.381
| Largest diameter in the upper chart
|-
| {{w|Coffee}}
| 58
| 33.4
| Extremely popular drink in the U.S. as many people drink it in the morning so it has a medium sized pipeline in the upper chart
|-
| {{w|Peanut butter}}
| 8.6
| 0.733
| Smallest diameter in the bottom chart
|-
| {{w|Ice cream}}
| 20
| 3.97
| Most likely solid rather than melted. This would be a weird pipe as the ice cream would have to be melted to be transported through the pipe and then refrozen to a blend of all flavours. Then again, if the future was really the scenario in the title text then mixing flavours isn't so bad.
|-
| {{w|Cheese}}
| 70
| 48.6
| Made from milk (cow) also in the chart
|-
| {{w|Soft Drink|Soda}}
| 82
| 66.7
| As in {{w|Soft Drink|soda pop}} aka soft drinks (flavored carbonated water) or {{w|Carbonated water|club soda}} (unflavored carbonated water). In many parts of the U.S. flavored carbonated water is referred to simply as "soda".
|-
| {{w|Acetone}}
| 13.6
| 1.83
| An organic chemical used as a highly potent cleaner in labs.
|-
| {{w|Liquor}}
| 15
| 2.23
| May not include beer or wine (also in chart)
|-
| {{w|Gasoline}}
| 220
| 480.
| Made from petroleum, also in the chart
|-
| {{w|Yogurt}}
| 15
| 2.23
| Made from milk (cow), also in the chart
|-
| {{w|Milk#Cow.27s_milk|Milk (cow)}}
| 106
| 111
| All the milk that comes from cows. A large pipeline
|-
| {{w|Bottled water}}
| 71
| 50.0
| See also [[1599: Water Delivery]]
|-
| {{w|Sugar}}
| 42
| 17.5
| See also [[1639: To Taste]]
|-
| {{w|Saliva}}
| 85
| 71.6
| From these data it could be calculated how long it would take America to drool enough to fill that pool from the what if? {{what if|144|Saliva Pool}}.
|-
| {{w|Wine}}
| 18
| 3.21
| Americans drank just under [https://www.wineinstitute.org/resources/statistics/article86 900 million gallons of wine in 2014], or almost 3.4 million cubic metres per year meaning that Americans drink about 0.11 m3/s. With the pipe flowing at 4 m/s this | pipe must have an area of 268 cm2. The radius of a pipe of area 268 cm^2 is 9.25 cm. The wine pipe should thus | have a diameter of 18.5 cm, very close to the one found by measuring on the chart.
|-
| {{w|HFCS}}
| 20
| 3.97
| High fructose corn syrup is a wildly used sweetener, mostly found in soft drinks. It is naturally found in a low concentration in most fruits (sucrose is made out of a glucose molecule bonded to a fructose molecule), and thus it can be naturally extracted from corn.
|-
| {{w|Breast milk|Milk (human)}}
| 10.6
| 1.114
| A rather small pipe as many people do not breastfeed.
|-
| {{w|Petroleum}}
| 318
| 1002
| Largest diameter in the bottom chart, except for the public water. Also known as crude oil. Used to make for instance gasoline, also in the chart.
|-
| {{w|Meat}}
| 59
| 34.5
| The amount of meat purchased in the U.S. This "pipeline" would be mostly solid save for some blood.
|-
| {{w|Glass}}
| 28
| 7.77
|Glass is rumored to be a liquid. However, glass is an amorphous solid; people, wrongfully, assume this lack of crystalline structure gives it the potential for viscous flow, making it technically a liquid (non-newtonian). This is incorrect as glass is composed of covalently bound molecules in a somewhat disorganized fashion, more similar to a thermoset plastic than a liquid. This common misconception was referred to before in the title text of [[843: Misconceptions]].
|-
| {{w|Beer}}
| 54
| 28.9
| As only people over 21 can buy this it is a smaller pipe.
|-
| {{w|Tea}}
| 41
| 16.67
| Smaller than coffee as many people prefer coffee but some like tea more.
|-
| {{w|Cement}}
| 74
| 54.3
| As most buildings have this and there are countless construction projects ongoing this is a large pipe.
|-
| {{w|Tap water|Public water}}
| 2550
| 64,465
| Using the formula [http://math.stackexchange.com/questions/564058/calculate-the-radius-of-a-circle-given-the-chord-length-and-height-of-a-segment here] it is possible to calculate the diameter of a circle given the chord length = l and height = h of a segment. From the drawing (and scaling) l = 390 cm and h = 15 cm. The formula states that D = h + l2/(4*h) = 15 cm + (390 cm)2/(4*15 cm) = 2550 cm.
|}

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the first main panel, to the left of a smaller panel to the right.]
:<big>The size of the US’s</big>
:<big><big>'''Pipelines'''</big></big>
:<big>if each fluid produced or consumed in the US has to be carried by a single pipe</big>
:Assuming they all flowed at the same speed of about 4m/s
:Note: Many pipelines would overlap (eg. '''soda'''/corn syrup)

:[There is a small panel to the right showing three gray pipes of different sizes leading out over a large hole in the ground. Only a part of the hole can be seen at the bottom left part of the panel, but it curves around indicating it is a large circular hole. The pipes are supported by small legs beneath them and from the end of all three thick liquids are squirting out and down into the hole. The first pipe is by far the largest; the liquid from it is white, but not as white as the background. The second pipe is by far the smallest squirting dark red liquid and the final rightmost pipe is in between and squirts our light brown liquid. Each pipe is labeled. The label on the smallest cannot be read properly, but from the info gained in the next panel it can be inferred for certain what it says (and this is indicated here below):]
:[Large pipe (white)]: Mayo
:[Small pipe (dark red)]: Nail polish
:[Medium pipe (light brown)]: Maple syrup

:[Below is a large panel with a caption at the top. And below this there are twenty circles in different sizes and with different color (or even texture). Each circle is labeled, for the five smallest the label is outside, in one case with an arrow indicating where the label belongs. The rest has the label inside. The text is in black except for four of those with text inside, but with red of black color. Here the text is white. The labels are indicated by color and size, going roughly from top left in reading order based on the position and size of circles not of position of the text:]

:<big>Actual size </big> (When viewed on a typical computer screen) 
:[Medium green blue and white spiral]: Toothpaste
:[Tiny dark red]: Nail polish
:[Big light blue with white specks]: Windshield washer fluid
:[Very tiny purple]: Silly putty
:[Medium light green]: Shampoo
:[Large dark yellow]: Honey
:[Very small blood red]: Donated blood
:[Tiny black]: Vanilla
:[Big red]: Ketchup
:[Medium dark red with chunks of in different green and lighter red colors]: Salsa
:[Small white]: Sunscreen
:[Very small light green]: Personal lubricant
:[Very tiny gray]: LCD liquid
:[Medium off-white]: Mayo
:[Very small black]: Printer ink
:[Small light brown]: Maple syrup
:[Small light green]: Conditioner
:[Medium yellow]: Mustard
:[Large light green]: Liquid soap
:[Big olive green]: Olive oil

:[The panel just described is indicated to fit into a small rectangle at the top left of the next panel below. There are four lines ending at the four corners of this small rectangle, two of these are going to the two bottom corners and the other two ends on the lower part of the panel just above the small rectangle. They are indicated to go under the panel and would hit the two top corners if extrapolated. The 11 largest circles are clearly seen, but most of the other circles can also be noted. The colors are the same but any features in the original circles as well as the labels are gone. The part of the black top frame of the next panel below is faded out to gray in between the section cut off by the two lines going to the bottom corners of the panel above. This rectangle indicated the increasing size compared to the first panel above.]

:[Apart from the insert mentioned above the second panel follows the same layout, but with 22 circles with even larger range of sizes. The panel is more than twice as long as the first panel. Blondie is drawn at the top of the panel just left of the middle. Her hair close to the top, just below the line going to the right corner above. There are two medium and five smaller circles to her left and one small close to her head and one huge circle to her right. Her feet are less than a third down this panel standing on top of the next row of circles. In the bottom half of the panel there is a giant circle which almost touches the left side of the panel. There are smaller circles above it and down along the right side. One last circle is to the left almost at the bottom. At the very bottom is a slightly curving line to indicate a much much larger blue circle that only graces the panel (no. 23). There is a small green fish in this water to the left of the label. Below the labels are again listed as above. One label has a foot note. But it is written directly beneath the circle in which it is referenced. So it will be written together with the label on the next line. There is also one case with an arrow used to indicate where the label belongs.]

:[Medium dark gray]: Coffee
:[Very tiny gray]: Peanut butter
:[Very small gray with black specks]: Ice cream
:[Very small yellow with white specks]: Cheese
:[Large brown with white fizzing]: Soda
:[Tiny White]: Acetone
:[Tiny gray]: Liquor
:[Huge dark yellow]: Gasoline
:[Tiny White with blue and orange specks]: Yogurt
:[Big white]: Milk (cow)
:[Large light blue]: Bottled water
:[Small white]: Sugar
:[Large light gray with white specks]: Saliva
:[Very small light yellow]: Wine
:[Very small orange]: HFCS
:[Very tiny white]: Milk (human)
:[Gigantic dark gray]: Petroleum
:[Medium dark red with black texture]: Meat (mostly solid)
:[Small white]: Glass*
::<nowiki>*</nowiki>Solid at room temperature
:[Medium light brown]: Beer
:[Small gray brown]: Tea
:[Large gray]: Cement
:[Gracing bottom of panel light blue, with a fish inside]: Public water

==Trivia==
*In addition to the what if? article, the relevancy of pipelines, particularly regarding public water, is heightened due to the ongoing public health crisis in {{w|Flint, Michigan}}, caused by recent (mis-)management of their public water system.
**See McLaughlin, Elliot. [http://edition.cnn.com/2016/01/18/us/flint-michigan-water-crisis-five-things/index.html 5 things to know about Flint's water crisis], '{{w|CNN}}', January 21, 2016. Retrieved 1 March 2016.
**Studies have shown that temporary use of the Flint River as a water source caused corrosive water to leach lead from old pipes, causing lead poisoning in many residents, particularly children; other ill effects in addition to lead have been noted.
**The crisis has lead to a public outcry against the state "emergency financial management" team appointed and supervised by the state executive (Gov. Rick Snyder and staff) and an outpouring of support from nearby communities such as Metro Detroit via bottled water donations to Flint residents.
*This is the third comic posted on Leap Day ({{w|February 29}}) on Monday in 2016; the previous ones were:
**[[390: Nightmares]] on a Friday in 2008 and
**[[1023: Late-Night PBS]] on a Wednesday in 2012.
**If the current M-W-F schedule continues, the next such comic will not happen before 2036 when the leap day again falls on a Friday (Following the {{w|Solar cycle (calendar)|28 year cycle}}).
**It may also be interesting to note that the first three leap years after xkcd began (in just over 10 years) all fell on a release day, then followed by a break of 20 years.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Blondie]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Rankings]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Animals]]

1811: Best-Tasting Colors

2017-07-23T15:55:42Z

108.162.245.88:

{{comic
| number = 1811
| date = March 15, 2017
| title = Best-Tasting Colors
| image = best_tasting_colors.png
| titletext = I recognize that chocolate is its own thing on which reasonable people may differ. Everything else here is objective fact.
}}

==Explanation==
In this comic, [[Randall]] rates colors based on tastiness of various flavors, which makes it very similar to [[388: Fuck Grapefruit]]. The colors are sorted in descending order (from most tasty to least tasty) by the midpoint of their overall taste range.

Within each color, several individual items are placed at points marked by dots along a tastiness scale with nine ticks ranging from bad (1) to good (9). For example within the pink color band at the very top, watermelon is only rated 6/9 much less tasty than cotton candy which is almost at 9/9 making it the very best tasting flavor in the chart. Interestingly watermelon is mentioned twice, as it is also listed under green. Usually people do not eat the green part of a watermelon, so strange that Randall has rated both types at almost the same level of tastiness. Could be that he sees the green watermelon as green, but also sees the pink fruit inside, so it is actually the pink fruit that is rated for both colors.

For pink, blue and white there are one, two and three regions, respectively labeled with "???". It is not clear what the purpose of these is. Perhaps they indicate regions in which Randall is unable to think of any examples, and is inviting the reader to speculate. For instance, are there any pink-colored foods more tasty than watermelon (6/9) but less tasty than cotton candy (8.5/9)? It could also be that he thinks there must be other interesting foods with this color, which could seem to be the case for white and blue, where there are a group of question marks above the most tasty labeled flavor blue raspberries and vanilla for white. The latter is yet a joke, as vanilla is black, but is often used in white food such as vanilla ice, which he may have been thinking off, or just again messes with his readers.

The question marks thus imply an arbitrary tastiness assigned to a color that is not derived from an actual data point, however. For instance, the only blue datapoint is "blue raspberry", assigned a ranking of 5.5. But the range assigned to blue as a whole is 4 to 8. The regions on either side of the blue raspberry dot are labeled with ???.

There are a few exceptions with chocolate the most obvious as Randall makes a wide range for chocolate for brown, ranging from 2.5-9.5 out of 9. And the arrows here ends in single question marks indicating that the range could be even longer. In the title text he acknowledges the fact chocolate is its own thing and that regarding its taste reasonable people may differ in opinion.

The region for chocolate could not go further down because below the section for chocolate for brown food, there is another range with some other brown food items that Randall really does not like, caramel and especially coffee at 1.5/9. It may seem that Randall has never grown up to drink the drinks that society often dictates that you should drink. Not drinking Coffee (or hating it when you do) can be a problem with all the coffee breaks and meetings held over coffee etc. And as Randall has shown in [[1534: Beer]] he also doesn't like beer...

Although it is not so clear as with chocolate pistachio is also split up with three lines indicating a range on the green from about 5 to 7 without any assigned point to their taste. And finally popcorn at 1.5/9 simply falls below the otherwise already low and slim rating range for yellow foods (2.5-3.5) with only lemon at 3/9 included. Many people loves popcorn, but not especially for the corns actual taste, which is non existing if not for the adding of salt or sugar or other additives.

The worst taste by far to Randall, though, is licorice, and black food has a very small range from almost below 1 to less than 1.5. In USA it seems few people like licorice (although as most of the other mentioned food items, it may come in a wide variety of flavors and strengths). But in for instance northern Europe (Scandinavia) many people love it. See more explanations for all the mentioned flavors in the [[#Table|table]] below. It also seems that [[388:_Fuck_Grapefruit#Change_of_taste|Randall's taste has changed]] over the nine years since the grapefruit comic.

In the title text, Randall asserts that his rankings of colors and flavors are indisputable (with the exception of chocolate). This together with rather obscure flavors included ("blue raspberry", "creamsicle") rather than more obvious choices, such as banana for yellow and carrot for orange could be a jab at the reception of his first food ranking comic, [[388: Fuck Grapefruit]] which ranked fruits based on their tastiness and ease of consumption. Randall claims that it is the [[388:_Fuck_Grapefruit#Controversy|most controversial piece]] he has ever published. So all this is maybe just a way to generate even more controversy about this comic, and based on the [[#Discussion|discussion]] below he may have succeeded.

In [[882: Significant]] researchers were studying the effect of eating 20 differently colored types of jelly beans (and all colors here are included except white).

===Table===

{| class="wikitable sortable"
! scope="col"| Color
! scope="col"| Item
! scope="col"| Explanation
! scope="col"| Rating (Approx.)
|-
|Pink
|{{w|Cotton Candy}}
|Randall seems to like cotton candy. This treat is sold in many places, most notably carnivals.
|95%
|-
|Pink
|{{w|Watermelon}}
|Watermelon is a fruit that is used as a processed candy flavoring, especially in hard candies, and is usually very sweet and pink in color. It is made of 95 percent actual water.
|63%
|-
|Red
|{{w|Strawberry}}
|Strawberries are a seeded fruit which are usually sweet and red. They are of relatively small size.
|93%
|-
|Red
|{{w|Cherry}}
|Cherries are red fruits that are normally very tart in taste.
|86%
|-
|Red
|{{w|Raspberry}}
|Raspberries are reddish-pink fruits (though Randall lists them under red) that are in the more tart category of fruits.
|55%
|-
|Blue
|{{w|Blue raspberry flavor |Blue Raspberry}}
|Blue-colored raspberries are not found in nature. While some {{w|Bramble fruit|bramble fruit}} species and cultivars are sometimes referred to as "blue raspberry" - notably {{w|Rubus leucodermis}} - the actual color of such fruit varies between purple and black as it matures, closer to that of {{w|Blackberry|blackberries}} than for example {{w|Blueberry|blueberries}}.
While not a real fruit color, "blue raspberry" is nevertheless a {{w|Blue raspberry flavor|common artificial flavor}}, ostensibly based on Rubus leucodermis. Products featuring this flavor are often artificially colored bright blue (nowhere near the hue of Rubus leucodermis fruit), contributing to the perceived association between the color and the flavor among general population.
|57%
|-
|Green
|{{w|Apple|Green Apple}}
|Green apples are usually more sweet than red apples, which are not listed, and are Randall's favorite apple. He mentioned a dislike for red apples in his what if? Blog
|84%
|-
|Green
|{{w|Watermelon}} (Rind?)
|While the red part of a watermelon and the pink watermelon flavoring used in candy are widely eaten and sweet, the green rind is hard and not normally eaten.
|60%
|-
|Green
|{{w|Mentha|Mint}}
|Mint is a herb that can be considered as spicy by some people, which makes it unappealing to them.
|38%
|-
|Green
|{{w|Lime (fruit)|Lime}}
|Limes are a green, sour fruit sharing many traits with lemons. These are rarely eaten as fruit, but can be served with water or beer.
|31%
|-
|Green
|{{w|Pistachio}}
|Pistachios are green nuts. Randall seems unsure of where to place these on the chart.
|47% to 70%
|-
|White
|{{w|Vanilla}}
|Randall is likely playing with expectations here. Vanilla and vanilla bean are both dark brown, not white. But vanilla ice cream is white thanks to the cream, milk, and sugar used in its creation. The brown is nearly invisible in the ice cream, either as vanilla extract mixed in or as minute flakes of vanilla bean in exceptional vanilla ice creams.
|65%
|-
|White
|{{w|White Chocolate}}
|White chocolate is disliked by many people who assert that it is "not real chocolate" because it contains no cocoa solids and is mainly cocoa butter and sugar.
|19%
|-
|Brown
|{{w|Chocolate}}
|Chocolate is given a very wide range. While widely recognized as a classic candy, containing the chemical {{w|phenylethylamine}} which literally makes the human brain happier, there are also very staunch and not rare people who clearly and adamantly don't like it. There are also many varieties of chocolate with varying degrees of sweetness -- and, not coincidentally, colors to help differentiate them. Randall deems the whole situation too complex to assign to only one data point.
|38% to 86%. (range of text area)
|-
|Brown
|{{w|Caramel}}
|Caramel is a liquid-like substance usually drizzled on desserts. "Caramel" can also refer to the coloring. Randall seems to enjoy caramel less than many people.
|19%
|-
|Brown
|{{w|Coffee}}
|While widely enjoyed by many people, coffee is a bitter beverage (or bean). Many people add sugar and/or cream to their coffee (or cover the beans in chocolate) to make it palatable. Clearly Randall does not like black coffee (coffee with no sweeteners or additives)
|5%
|-
|Orange
|{{w|Popsicle_(brand)#Related_snacks|Creamsicle}}
|Orange creamsicle is an ice pop sold by {{w|Popsicle_(brand)|Popsicle}}. It is known as a favorite among the Popsicle lineup.
|47%
|-
|Orange
|{{w|Orange (fruit)|Orange}}
|Oranges are round fruits similar in size to an apple. Randall appears to dislike oranges, maybe because of their slightly sour flavoring or the difficulty of opening one up.
Interestingly, in this comic Randall rates oranges as tasting worse than lemons, while in [[388: Fuck Grapefruit]], it was lemons he charted as tasting significantly worse.
|25%
|-
|Yellow
|{{w|Popcorn}}?!
|Popcorn is a very popular food item, but not for its flavor. By itself it has nearly no flavor, and the usual toppings of salt and butter are some of the most basic cravings the human tongue asks for.
|5%
|-
|Yellow
|{{w|Lemon}}
|Lemons by themselves have a very strong sour flavor. Many people, apparently including Randall, do not like this taste raw or on its own, though some do. To make lemons appealing to those who don't like very sour things, they are instead added as ingredients in a much larger dish, often with sugar added to balance the sourness.
|27%
|-
|Purple
|{{w|Grape}}
|Randall apparently does not like {{w|Concord grape}}s, a small, oval-like purple fruit. He did not list green grapes, though. But given his previous comic [[388: Fuck Grapefruit]] it seems likely that he like the green grapes very much as they were listed as some of the most tasty fruits
|15%
|-
|Black
|{{w|Licorice}}
|Licorice has a strong bitter and spicy flavour. It is made frome the plant {{w|Anise}}. Most Americans tend to find it a very unpleasant flavor. It would appear that Randall resides within that majority.
|0.1%
|}

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the chart:]
:<big>Best-Tasting Colors</big>

:[Below the caption there is a scale with two large ticks (with labels written above) at either end and seven smaller ticks in between for nine ticks in total. The labels:]
:Bad
:Good

:[Below the scale to the left is a numbered list of ten colors. Black double arrows goes under the scale. On the arrows there are labeled points, but there is also questions marks and other exceptions where text is not pointing to a point. Labels appear both above and below the arrows, but here the text is listed as it appears on the scale from left (bad) to right (good):]
:1. Pink - Watermelon, ???, Cotton candy
:2. Red - Raspberry, Cherry, Strawberry
:3. Blue - ???, Blue raspberry, ???
:4. Green - Lime, Mint, Pistachio??, Watermelon, Green apple
:5. White - ???, White chocolate, ???, Vanilla, ???
:6. Brown - Coffee, Caramel ? [However you feel about chocolate] ?
:7. Orange - Orange, Creamsicle
:8. Yellow - Popcorn?!, Lemon
:9. Purple - Grape
:10. Black - Licorice

*'''Click''' to expand for a more detailed description:
<div class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed leftAlign" style="width:100%">
 
:[There are no more text from the comic here below:]

:[Below the scale to the left is a numbered list of ten colors, the name of the color written in said color (white written on a gray background). From the color goes a thin gray line out under the scale. At different points and lengths along the scale there appear black double arrows pointing to two lines. The gray line never extends beyond the black arrows to the right. On the line of these arrows there are one to four points, that have all been labeled with gray text (both above and below the arrow to which the labels belong). Five places on three arrows there are groups of three questions marks which relates to a region on the arrow rather than a point, either with three lines pointing to the arrow (once for pink and trice for white) or just standing close beneath the arrow (twice for blue). There are only three other exceptions. First there is pistachio which has no point but has three lines going from the text to the arrow for green. Second there is chocolate, which has its own double arrow where the ends does not end in lines but in questions marks. he arrow is broken by a square bracket with normal black text written on two lines within it. This arrow does thus not connect with the other "normal" arrow for brown to the left of the chocolate arrow. And third there is a point that is outside the black arrow for yellow on the gray line for popcorn. That is the only place where the gray line exceeds any black markings as it is only broken by the dot and then continues further to the arrow.]
</div>
 

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Rankings]]
[[Category:Food]]

1704: Gnome Ann

2017-07-18T23:21:27Z

108.162.245.88: I changed something

{{comic
| number = 1704
| date = July 8, 2016
| title = Gnome Ann
| image = gnome_ann.png
| titletext = President Andrew Johnson once said, "If I am to be shot at, I want Gnome Ann to be in the way of the bullet.".
}}

==Explanation==
This comic presents a series of images depicting a female {{w|gnome}} who is known as "Gnome Ann". The humor derives from the fact that the name "Gnome Ann" is a {{w|Mondegreen|mondegreen}} of the phrase "no man". (Users of the {{w|GNOME|Gnome desktop system}} may have difficulties understanding this since they pronounce Gnome with a hard "g", reflecting its {{w|GNU}} ties.)

[[Randall]] presents the reader with six images (and a title text) captioned with quotations from a wide range of sources, each featuring an instance of the compound noun "no man" being replaced by "Gnome Ann" (and featuring a drawing that reflects this change). There is one proverb, two Biblical quotations, one literary quotation from {{w|Miguel de Cervantes|Cervantes}}' ''{{w|Don Quixote}}'', one cinematic reference from the {{w|Lord of the Rings (film series)}} (the line {{w|Éowyn}} said to the {{w|Witch-king of Angmar}} before killing him), one quotation from the opening of a television show (''{{w|Star Trek: The Original Series}}''), and a quotation from a piece of historical rhetoric in the title text.

===Table of quotes===
{| class="wikitable"
| '''Modified quote'''
| '''Original quote'''
| '''Origin'''
| '''Explanation of old meaning'''
| '''Explanation of new meaningew meaning'''
|-
| "Time and tide wait for Gnome Ann."
| "Time and tide wait for no man."
| Proverb
| [[89: Gravitational Mass|Normally]] it is not possible for anyone to influence time or tides.
| However in this case it would appear that Gnome Ann is able to stop time, and tides. For the tide, it may be possible that "(Gnome Ann) Is an Island."[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Man_Is_an_Island]

|-
| "The wicked flee when Gnome Ann pursueth."
| "The wicked flee when no man pursueth."
| Bible: [http://biblehub.com/proverbs/28-1.htm Proverbs 28:1]
| This biblical reference normally implies the wicked are a cowardly and/or paranoid lot, jumping at shadows and eager to flee at simply the pretense of danger or pursuit.
| However in this case it would imply that wicked people run away from Gnome Ann specifically.

|-
| "What therefore God hath joined together, let Gnome Ann put asunder."
| "What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder."
| Bible: [http://biblehub.com/mark/10-9.htm Mark 10:9]
| In the Bible, Jesus is asked about whether people should be allowed to divorce, and Jesus responds with this quote. It is known to appear in wedding vows, hence the fact that the man and woman in the panel are dressed for a wedding.
| However, in this case, the quote allows Gnome Ann to destroy what God has created.

|-
| "Time ripens all things; Gnome Ann is born wise
| "Time ripens all things; no man is born wise."
| The novel {{w|Don Quixote}} by {{w|Miguel De Cervantes}}
| This states that nobody is wise to begin with, and it takes time to become wise.
| However it now states that Gnome Ann is wise to begin with, suggesting she is not part of the order of things within time.

|-
| "Our Mission: To boldly go where Gnome Ann has gone before."
| "Our Mission: To boldly go where no man has gone before."
| Intro at {{w|Star Trek: The Original Series}}
| Originally this was meant to emphasize that they would be going to completely unexplored territory, which would be a potentially risky venture.
| However in this case , it means that they will be following Gnome Ann, which is not exploration. Though depending on where Gnome Ann has gone, these may still be risky ventures: "(Gnome Ann) goes to battle to be killed." [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caesar_and_Cleopatra_%28play%29]

|-
| Witch-king of Angmar: "Fool! No man can kill me." Gnome Ann: "I Am Gnome Ann!"
| Witch-king of Angmar: "Fool! No man can kill me." Éowyn: "I Am no man!"
| {{w|The Lord of the Rings (film series)}}
| The Witch-king of Angmar was given a prophecy that he would never be bested in combat by the hand of man, and he boasted "no man" could kill him. Both in ''Lord of the Rings'' and this comic, he is defeated by a woman.
| Gnome Ann is, as shown in previous panels, probably powerful enough to defeat the Witch-king of Angmar{{Citation needed}}. Note that in the Tolkien legendarium, a "Gnome" is an archaic name for the Noldor tribe of elves (e.g. Galadriel).

|-
| President Andrew Johnson once said, "If I am to be shot at, I want Gnome Ann to be in the way of the bullet."
| President Andrew Johnson once said, "If I am to be shot at, I want no man to be in the way of the bullet."
| {{w|Andrew Johnson}}, 17th President of the United States
| '''Title text''': The intent of this statement originally was that Andrew Johnson would rather be killed, than have somebody else be killed trying to save his life.
| However in this case it would appear that Andrew Johnson would really prefer Gnome Ann to be shot instead of himself, perhaps because he knows that "(Gnome Ann) lives forever." [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Algernon_Charles_Swinburne]
|}

==Transcript==
:The <big>Legend</big> of <big>Gnome Ann</big>

:[At the beach, between a clock hanging in the air, showing 10 past 10 and the shoreline, Gnome Ann, a woman with curly hair and a black triangular hat, stands with her arms outstretched towards the clock and the sea. For each of the first five panels a text is written within a frame above the drawings.]
:Time and tide wait for Gnome Ann.

:[Gnome Ann running in from the left frame with her arms out chases three Cueball like men running from her towards right. The one closest to her looks over his shoulder at her, the next runs forward "normally" and the last in front throws up his arms in the air.]
:The wicked flee when Gnome Ann pursueth.
:-Proverbs 28:1

:[Gnome Ann takes the groom's place in a wedding, shoving him to the side. The groom, Hairy with a bow tie, falls while throwing his arms out. The bride stands to the left, in full wedding dress, showing no reaction.]
:What therefore God hath joined together, let Gnome Ann put asunder.
:-Mark 10:9

:[Gnome Ann sits in a yoga position meditating on a big rock in a desolate area with small rocks on the ground around the big rock.]
:Time ripens all things; Gnome Ann is born wise.
:-Miguel De Cervantes

:[The starship Enterprise from Star Trek is seen from behind as it flies to the right, chasing a smaller craft. In this panel the frame with text is shown to emanate from Enterprise with a zig zag arrow pointing to the starship.]
:Enterprise: Our Mission: To boldly go where Gnome Ann has gone before.

:[The Witch-king of Angmar, Lord of the Nazgûl, from the Lord of the Rings sits on his knees (below the frame) to the left of Gnome Ann, who is preparing to stab him with a sword pointing at his head. She is also holding her other arm out towards him. The Witch-king has a black cloak covering his head and body with a kind of crown with six small spikes shown around his head and one large spike in front. It also goes down on each side of his head showing a gaping hole instead of a face. In this panel the text is spoken by the two characters.]
:Witch-king: Fool! No man can kill me.
:Gnome Ann: '''''I Am Gnome Ann!'''''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Time]]
[[Category:Religion]]
[[Category:Fiction]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring politicians]]

1704: Gnome Ann

2017-07-18T23:18:45Z

108.162.245.88: Blah blah blah

{{comic
| number = 1704
| date = July 8, 2016
| title = Gnome Ann
| image = gnome_ann.png
| titletext = President Andrew Johnson once said, "If I am to be shot at, I want Gnome Ann to be in the way of the bullet.".
}}

==Explanation==
This comic presents a series of images depicting a female {{w|gnome}} who is known as "Gnome Ann". The humor derives from the fact that the name "Gnome Ann" is a {{w|Mondegreen|mondegreen}} of the phrase "no man". (Users of the {{w|GNOME|Gnome desktop system}} may have difficulties understanding this since they pronounce Gnome with a hard "g", reflecting its {{w|GNU}} ties.)

[[Randall]] presents the reader with six images (and a title text) captioned with quotations from a wide range of sources, each featuring an instance of the compound noun "no man" being replaced by "Gnome Ann" (and featuring a drawing that reflects this change). There is one proverb, two Biblical quotations, one literary quotation from {{w|Miguel de Cervantes|Cervantes}}' ''{{w|Don Quixote}}'', one cinematic reference from the {{w|Lord of the Rings (film series)}} (the line {{w|Éowyn}} said to the {{w|Witch-king of Angmar}} before killing him), one quotation from the opening of a television show (''{{w|Star Trek: The Original Series}}''), and a quotation from a piece of historical rhetoric in the title text.

===Table of quotes===
{| class="wikitable"
| '''Modified quote'''
| '''Original quote'''
| '''Origin'''
| '''Explanation of old meaning'''
| '''Explanation of new meaningew meaning'''
|-
| "Time and tide wait for Gnome Ann."
| "Time and tide wait for no man."
| Proverb
| [[89: Gravitational Mass|Normally]] it is not possible for anyone to influence time or tides.
| However in this case it would appear that Gnome Ann is able to stop time, and tides. For the tide, it may be possible that "(Gnome Ann) Is an Island."[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Man_Is_an_Island]

|-
| "The wicked flee when Gnome Ann pursueth."
| "The wicked flee when no man pursueth."
| Bible: [http://biblehub.com/proverbs/28-1.htm Proverbs 28:1]
| This biblical reference normally implies the wicked are a cowardly and/or paranoid lot, jumping at shadows and eager to flee at simply the pretense of danger or pursuit.
| However in this case it would imply that wicked people run away from Gnome Ann specifically.

|-
| "What therefore God hath joined together, let Gnome Ann put asunder."
| "What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder."
| Bible: [http://biblehub.com/mark/10-9.htm Mark 10:9]
| In the Bible, Jesus is asked about whether people should be allowed to divorce, and Jesus responds with this quote. It is known to appear in wedding vows, hence the fact that the man and woman in the panel are dressed for a wedding.
| However, in this case, the quote allows Gnome Ann to destroy what God has created.

|-
| "Time ripens all things; Gnome Ann is born wise
| "Time ripens all things; no man is born wise."
| The novel {{w|Don Quixote}} by {{w|Miguel De Cervantes}}
| This states that nobody is wise to begin with, and it takes time to become wise.
| However it now states that Gnome Ann is wise to begin with, suggesting she is not part of the order of things within time.

|-
| "Our Mission: To boldly go where Gnome Ann has gone before."
| "Our Mission: To boldly go where no man has gone before."
| Intro at {{w|Star Trek: The Original Series}}
| Originally this was meant to emphasize that they would be going to completely unexplored territory, which would be a potentially risky venture.
| However in this case , it means that they will be following Gnome Ann, which is not exploration. Though depending on where Gnome Ann has gone, these may still be risky ventures: "(Gnome Ann) goes to battle to be killed." [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caesar_and_Cleopatra_%28play%29]

|-
| Witch-king of Angmar: "Fool! No man can kill me." Gnome Ann: "I Am Gnome Ann!"
| Witch-king of Angmar: "Fool! No man can kill me." Éowyn: "I Am no man!"
| {{w|The Lord of the Rings (film series)}}
| The Witch-king of Angmar was given a prophecy that he would never be bested in combat by the hand of man, and he boasted "no man" could kill him. Both in ''Lord of the Rings'' and this comic, he is defeated by a woman.
| Gnome Ann is, as shown in previous panels, probably powerful enough to defeat the Witch-king of Angmar{{citation needed}}. Note that in the Tolkien legendarium, a "Gnome" is an archaic name for the Noldor tribe of elves (e.g. Galadriel).

|-
| President Andrew Johnson once said, "If I am to be shot at, I want Gnome Ann to be in the way of the bullet."
| President Andrew Johnson once said, "If I am to be shot at, I want no man to be in the way of the bullet."
| {{w|Andrew Johnson}}, 17th President of the United States
| '''Title text''': The intent of this statement originally was that Andrew Johnson would rather be killed, than have somebody else be killed trying to save his life.
| However in this case it would appear that Andrew Johnson would really prefer Gnome Ann to be shot instead of himself, perhaps because he knows that "(Gnome Ann) lives forever." [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Algernon_Charles_Swinburne]
|}

==Transcript==
:The <big>Legend</big> of <big>Gnome Ann</big>

:[At the beach, between a clock hanging in the air, showing 10 past 10 and the shoreline, Gnome Ann, a woman with curly hair and a black triangular hat, stands with her arms outstretched towards the clock and the sea. For each of the first five panels a text is written within a frame above the drawings.]
:Time and tide wait for Gnome Ann.

:[Gnome Ann running in from the left frame with her arms out chases three Cueball like men running from her towards right. The one closest to her looks over his shoulder at her, the next runs forward "normally" and the last in front throws up his arms in the air.]
:The wicked flee when Gnome Ann pursueth.
:-Proverbs 28:1

:[Gnome Ann takes the groom's place in a wedding, shoving him to the side. The groom, Hairy with a bow tie, falls while throwing his arms out. The bride stands to the left, in full wedding dress, showing no reaction.]
:What therefore God hath joined together, let Gnome Ann put asunder.
:-Mark 10:9

:[Gnome Ann sits in a yoga position meditating on a big rock in a desolate area with small rocks on the ground around the big rock.]
:Time ripens all things; Gnome Ann is born wise.
:-Miguel De Cervantes

:[The starship Enterprise from Star Trek is seen from behind as it flies to the right, chasing a smaller craft. In this panel the frame with text is shown to emanate from Enterprise with a zig zag arrow pointing to the starship.]
:Enterprise: Our Mission: To boldly go where Gnome Ann has gone before.

:[The Witch-king of Angmar, Lord of the Nazgûl, from the Lord of the Rings sits on his knees (below the frame) to the left of Gnome Ann, who is preparing to stab him with a sword pointing at his head. She is also holding her other arm out towards him. The Witch-king has a black cloak covering his head and body with a kind of crown with six small spikes shown around his head and one large spike in front. It also goes down on each side of his head showing a gaping hole instead of a face. In this panel the text is spoken by the two characters.]
:Witch-king: Fool! No man can kill me.
:Gnome Ann: '''''I Am Gnome Ann!'''''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Time]]
[[Category:Religion]]
[[Category:Fiction]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring politicians]]

1704: Gnome Ann

2017-07-18T23:16:58Z

108.162.245.88: I added new column

{{comic
| number = 1704
| date = July 8, 2016
| title = Gnome Ann
| image = gnome_ann.png
| titletext = President Andrew Johnson once said, "If I am to be shot at, I want Gnome Ann to be in the way of the bullet.".
}}

==Explanation==
This comic presents a series of images depicting a female {{w|gnome}} who is known as "Gnome Ann". The humor derives from the fact that the name "Gnome Ann" is a {{w|Mondegreen|mondegreen}} of the phrase "no man". (Users of the {{w|GNOME|Gnome desktop system}} may have difficulties understanding this since they pronounce Gnome with a hard "g", reflecting its {{w|GNU}} ties.)

[[Randall]] presents the reader with six images (and a title text) captioned with quotations from a wide range of sources, each featuring an instance of the compound noun "no man" being replaced by "Gnome Ann" (and featuring a drawing that reflects this change). There is one proverb, two Biblical quotations, one literary quotation from {{w|Miguel de Cervantes|Cervantes}}' ''{{w|Don Quixote}}'', one cinematic reference from the {{w|Lord of the Rings (film series)}} (the line {{w|Éowyn}} said to the {{w|Witch-king of Angmar}} before killing him), one quotation from the opening of a television show (''{{w|Star Trek: The Original Series}}''), and a quotation from a piece of historical rhetoric in the title text.

===Table of quotes===
{| class="wikitable"
| '''Modified quote'''
| '''Original quote'''
| '''Origin'''
| '''Explanation of old meaning'''
| '''Explanation of new meaningew meaning'''
|-
| "Time and tide wait for Gnome Ann."
| "Time and tide wait for no man."
| Proverb
| [[89: Gravitational Mass|Normally]] it is not possible for anyone to influence time or tides.
| However in this case it would appear that Gnome Ann is able to stop time, and tides. For the tide, it may be possible that "(Gnome Ann) Is an Island."[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Man_Is_an_Island]

|-
| "The wicked flee when Gnome Ann pursueth."
| "The wicked flee when no man pursueth."
| Bible: [http://biblehub.com/proverbs/28-1.htm Proverbs 28:1]
| This biblical reference normally implies the wicked are a cowardly and/or paranoid lot, jumping at shadows and eager to flee at simply the pretense of danger or pursuit.
| However in this case it would imply that wicked people run away from Gnome Ann specifically.

|-
| "What therefore God hath joined together, let Gnome Ann put asunder."
| "What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder."
| Bible: [http://biblehub.com/mark/10-9.htm Mark 10:9]
| In the Bible, Jesus is asked about whether people should be allowed to divorce, and Jesus responds with this quote. It is known to appear in wedding vows, hence the fact that the man and woman in the panel are dressed for a wedding.
| However, in this case, the quote allows Gnome Ann to destroy what God has created.

|-
| "Time ripens all things; Gnome Ann is born wise
| "Time ripens all things; no man is born wise."
| The novel {{w|Don Quixote}} by {{w|Miguel De Cervantes}}
| This states that nobody is wise to begin with, and it takes time to become wise.
| However it now states that Gnome Ann is wise to begin with, suggesting she is not part of the order of things within time.

|-
| "Our Mission: To boldly go where Gnome Ann has gone before."
| "Our Mission: To boldly go where no man has gone before."
| Intro at {{w|Star Trek: The Original Series}}
| Originally this was meant to emphasize that they would be going to completely unexplored territory, which would be a potentially risky venture.
| However in this case , it means that they will be following Gnome Ann, which is not exploration. Though depending on where Gnome Ann has gone, these may still be risky ventures: "(Gnome Ann) goes to battle to be killed." [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caesar_and_Cleopatra_%28play%29]

|-
| Witch-king of Angmar: "Fool! No man can kill me." Gnome Ann: "I Am Gnome Ann!"
| Witch-king of Angmar: "Fool! No man can kill me." Éowyn: "I Am no man!"
| {{w|The Lord of the Rings (film series)}}
| The Witch-king of Angmar was given a prophecy that he would never be bested in combat by the hand of man, and he boasted "no man" could kill him. Both in ''Lord of the Rings'' and this comic, he is defeated by a woman.
| Gnome Ann is, as shown in previous panels, probably powerful enough to defeat the Witch-king of Angmar[citation needed]. Note that in the Tolkien legendarium, a "Gnome" is an archaic name for the Noldor tribe of elves (e.g. Galadriel).

|-
| President Andrew Johnson once said, "If I am to be shot at, I want Gnome Ann to be in the way of the bullet."
| President Andrew Johnson once said, "If I am to be shot at, I want no man to be in the way of the bullet."
| {{w|Andrew Johnson}}, 17th President of the United States
| '''Title text''': The intent of this statement originally was that Andrew Johnson would rather be killed, than have somebody else be killed trying to save his life.
| However in this case it would appear that Andrew Johnson would really prefer Gnome Ann to be shot instead of himself, perhaps because he knows that "(Gnome Ann) lives forever." [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Algernon_Charles_Swinburne]
|}

==Transcript==
:The <big>Legend</big> of <big>Gnome Ann</big>

:[At the beach, between a clock hanging in the air, showing 10 past 10 and the shoreline, Gnome Ann, a woman with curly hair and a black triangular hat, stands with her arms outstretched towards the clock and the sea. For each of the first five panels a text is written within a frame above the drawings.]
:Time and tide wait for Gnome Ann.

:[Gnome Ann running in from the left frame with her arms out chases three Cueball like men running from her towards right. The one closest to her looks over his shoulder at her, the next runs forward "normally" and the last in front throws up his arms in the air.]
:The wicked flee when Gnome Ann pursueth.
:-Proverbs 28:1

:[Gnome Ann takes the groom's place in a wedding, shoving him to the side. The groom, Hairy with a bow tie, falls while throwing his arms out. The bride stands to the left, in full wedding dress, showing no reaction.]
:What therefore God hath joined together, let Gnome Ann put asunder.
:-Mark 10:9

:[Gnome Ann sits in a yoga position meditating on a big rock in a desolate area with small rocks on the ground around the big rock.]
:Time ripens all things; Gnome Ann is born wise.
:-Miguel De Cervantes

:[The starship Enterprise from Star Trek is seen from behind as it flies to the right, chasing a smaller craft. In this panel the frame with text is shown to emanate from Enterprise with a zig zag arrow pointing to the starship.]
:Enterprise: Our Mission: To boldly go where Gnome Ann has gone before.

:[The Witch-king of Angmar, Lord of the Nazgûl, from the Lord of the Rings sits on his knees (below the frame) to the left of Gnome Ann, who is preparing to stab him with a sword pointing at his head. She is also holding her other arm out towards him. The Witch-king has a black cloak covering his head and body with a kind of crown with six small spikes shown around his head and one large spike in front. It also goes down on each side of his head showing a gaping hole instead of a face. In this panel the text is spoken by the two characters.]
:Witch-king: Fool! No man can kill me.
:Gnome Ann: '''''I Am Gnome Ann!'''''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Time]]
[[Category:Religion]]
[[Category:Fiction]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring politicians]]

959: Caroling

2017-07-18T16:22:24Z

108.162.245.88: I mentioned that one caroler was smaller.

{{comic
| number = 959
| date = October 3, 2011
| title = Caroling
| image = caroling.png
| titletext = For a thousand generations we vowed never to forget how his soldiers feasted on our brother Stephen.
}}

==Explanation==
Here are the lyrics for the first verse of the Christmas Carol, "{{w|Good King Wenceslas}}"

:''Good King Wenceslas looked out, on the Feast of Stephen,''
:''When the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even;''
:''Brightly shone the moon that night, tho' the frost was cruel,''
:''When a poor man came in sight, gath'ring winter fuel.''

While not a king, {{w|Wenceslaus I, Duke of Bohemia}} is considered a martyr and a saint. Far from being responsible for any massacre, he protected his subjects from external dominance, and is still a national hero to the Czech people. [[Black Hat]] is supplying {{w|disinformation}} to unsuspecting carolers, either to shut them up or just because he's a [[classhole]] like that.

The title text references "the {{w|St. Stephen's Day|Feast of Stephen}}" which is also known as the "Feast of St. Stephen" or "St. Stephen's Day", which is a holiday celebrated on 26 or 27 December, depending on the Western or Eastern church respectively. It is not actually a feast that involved eating a person named Stephen, instead a celebration of the Saint named Stephen.

If you look closely, you can see that the carolers may be a family. The man and woman are confused by what Black Hat has said, and the girl is looking to the adults, perhaps gauging their facial reactions, or just waiting for their reply.

==Transcript==
:[Three people, two the same size, one smaller stand together singing Christmas carols.]
:Carolers (in unison): Good king Wenceslas looked out on the—

:[Black Hat leans out of an above ground window.]
:Black Hat: King Wenceslas massacred my people.

:[The carolers stand in silence, the smaller one looks at the others.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Music]]