explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1975: Right Click

2021-07-03T12:46:44Z

141.101.104.239: /* Effect Spells */

{{comic
| number = 1975
| date = April 1, 2018
| title = Right Click
| image = right_click.png
| titletext = Right-click or long press (where supported) to save!
}}
*'''NOTE:''' The above is what is seen when viewing the comic on xkcd.
**But it is just the starting point of an interactive comic experience, which begins when you ''Right Click'' the comic. 
**To experience the interactive content, click [https://xkcd.com/1975/ here].
**See an example of what happens in the [[#Trivia|Trivia section]] below.

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by A FIRST BASEMAN NAMED NATURALLY. Lots of explanations and menus missing. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This was the eighth [[:Category:April fools' comics|April fools' comic]] released by [[Randall]]. The previous April Fool's comic was not from the year before as there was no such comic [[1818:_Rayleigh_Scattering#No_April_Fools.27_Day_comic_in_2017|released in 2017]]. Instead, the previous one was [[1663: Garden]], scheduled for released Friday, April 1st, 2016, but in the end released on [[1663:_Garden#Monday_4th_of_April_release|Monday April 4th]] 2016. The next was [[2131: Emojidome]] released on Monday, April 1st, 2019.

This comic was released on April 1 even though that was [[:Category:Sunday comics|a Sunday]] (only the fourth comic to be released on a Sunday). But it was only due to the April Fool joke, as it did replace the comic that would have been scheduled for Monday, April 2nd. The next comic, [[1976: Friendly Questions]], was first released on Wednesday, April 4th.

At first, the comic seems like the most simplistic xkcd comic possible - [[Cueball]] standing and doing nothing. The "editor's note" tells you to save a copy of the image to "view the full comic".

To save an image from a browser most people would right-click on it (or long-click in mobile devices) which normally leads to a "context menu" allowing several actions related to the image, including saving/downloading. This is what you are encouraged to do by the editorial note as well as by the comic name and title text. However, the context menu opened is not the default context menu of the browser but an elaborate context menu containing many nonsensical options.

At first it also seems impossible to save the image using that menu. However, after exploring the context menu you can find an "easter egg" in one of two different places (see below) which unlocks the save option. This save option gives you a different [https://xkcd.com/1975/v6xso1_right_click_save.png image] than the one you see, which can be thought of as "the full comic" although the meat of the comic is actually in the interactive context menu itself. Note that "cheating" by disabling JavaScript and other methods that allow you to directly save the image won't get you that "full comic" image.

This comic pokes fun at how hard it can be to save an image or to just navigate context menus in some computer programs. The "easter egg hunt" might be related to the fact the comic was released during Easter (which fell on April fool's in 2018). It might also be related to the movie "Ready Player One" which was recently released when the comic was released. In the movie, based on the book by Cline, finding an "easter egg" in a VR world was a central plot point.

The title is reminiscent of one of the first interactive comics [[1110: Click and Drag]], where the title explains what the user should do to experience it. However, that was not a fools' day comic.

The comic uses {{w|JavaScript}} and {{w|HTML5}} to override the standard context menu. Since modern browsers use the same features to integrate Add-ons into that menu, the behavior may be different depending on the browser environment. Browsers with JavaScript disabled, either totally or by using {{w|NoScript}}, won't access the functionality of the comic, but of course can easily save the image (not "the full version" but the image that is seen initially).

The manipulated context menu is described [[#Context menu|below]].

==Context menu==

===Main Context Menu===
{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! # !! Menu Item !! Explanation !! Sub-Menu Items
|-
!1
| '''Save'''
| Only appears after getting one of the two easter eggs that can be found in the menu - in the games ADVENT.EXE and Mornington Crescent (see their explanations below).
| Save image> Views the image the first time you click, then downloads this image on every visit after that. [https://xkcd.com/1975/v6xso1_right_click_save.png]. The image includes a spheroid object near the top right-hand corner which appears to exhibit red shift and green shift, suggesting that it is rotating rapidly.

|-
! 2
| '''File'''
| Normal submenu
|Close: Closes menu, does nothing.
Open: A:\, C:\, / (See more [[#Filesystems Menu|below]])

Find: Where, When, How, (grayed out) What, (grayed out) Why, Who.

'Where' leads to four options. The first, 'computer', has two options ('folder' and 'menus'), which link back to the 'find' and right-click menus, respectively. "Narnia" leads to a link to the comic [[665: Prudence]] as well as to a grey comment about how it's weird that "they" have to die to go back to Narnia.
"Canada" and "America" lead to the same set of bizarre menus (America leads into Canada's menu), which then give the options 'Upper' and 'Lower', ultimately leading to a drive-through and hockey, respectively.

'When' leads to a description of Siri entering someone's home, and the menu can be followed to reveal several further events from 'earlier' in the day. The last one ('a bottle of jack and a toothbrush') is likely a reference to the song 'Tik Tok' by Kesha.

'How' simply leads to an exclamation of 'How!?'.

'What' is grayed out.

'Why' links to [http://itisamystery.com/], ''technically'' answering the question of "Why?"

'Who' leads to a menu version of the Abbot and Costello "Who's on First?" routine, which eventually links to a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTcRRaXV-fg&feature=youtu.be youtube video] of the routine. As of April 4th, a second submenu has been added, which contains Slappy and Skippy's "Who's on Stage?" parody of the previous routine, which also eventually leads to its [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mdqv5xIsFLM youtube video].

Backup: Causes the area around the comic to flash red 9 times, with high-pitch sounds reminiscent of a truck backing up. Reminiscent of the Sinclair Spectrum SAVE to tape command, which would flash the border and modulate the speaker.

Save: Only available after the save menu is unlocked after one of the two Easter Eggs is found, allows a download of a bonus comic, same as clicking the save option from the main menu.

|-
! 3
| '''Edit'''
| Enables a mode allowing the user to draw on the webpage. You can draw multiple scribbles, however, they will automatically connect together. Pressing Esc asks "Aw, that looks nice though. Really delete?" and the page returns to normal if OK is clicked.
| None
|-
! 4
| '''System'''
| Normal submenu
|Shut Down> Changes the only menu option to "Power on", then once that is used, the system returns to normal.

/ (See [[#Table - Filesystems Menu|below]])
|-
! 5
| '''View'''
| Normal submenu
|Cascade>Links to [http://wiki.xkcd.com/geohashing/Mt._St._Helens,_Washington]

Tile> Links to [[245: Floor Tiles]]

Minimize> Changes pointer to a smaller pointer.

Full Screen> Enters full screen.
|-
! 6
| '''Utilities'''
| Normal submenu
|Park drives> Nothing.

Check space usage> (cannot click) Space usage: -Dark matter -Hydrogen -Helium -Scattered clumps of heavier elements -Stars -Rocks -Some space probes -Earth

Spell check> English (links to [[1069: Alphabet]]) and Colors (links to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/])

Train AI> links to [[1838: Machine Learning]]

Identify song> opens a long word-by-word menu for song lyrics; it's actually a menu-ised version of [[851: Na]].

Advanced> several Unix commands, all absurd (or dangerous) for some reason:
* <code>apt-get install /dev/null</code>: <code>apt-get</code> is the standard package manager used in Debian-derived Linux distributions (including Ubuntu); it is normally used to install software; <code>/dev/null</code> is the "bit-bucket" device on any Unix system, which can be used as a dummy output file to discard output or as a dummy empty input file. This command would attempt to install <code>/dev/null</code> (which is a device, not a package!) or, more correctly, would try to install a package reading its data from <code>/dev/null</code> (if <code>apt-get</code> is given a file name it tries to interpret it as a .deb package), which is obviously impossible.
* <code>brew install apt-get</code>: <code>brew</code> is a third-party package manager for macOS; it is generally used to install "missing" open-source utilities on a macOS system; the command is attempting to install the aforementioned <code>apt-get</code>, which is both impossible (<code>apt-get</code> doesn't run on macOS) and hilariously recursive (did you install a package manager - brew - to install another one?). Even if this were possible, the package would have been called <code>apt</code>, as apt-get is only one of the commands in the package manager.
* <code>/usr/local/bin/wine xen-hypervisor.exe</code>: <code>wine</code> is a compatibility layer used to run Windows executables on Linux (and on macOS); the fact that it is in <code>/usr/local</code> hints that it has been manually compiled on this machine; Xen is a Linux-based hypervisor, i.e. a software used to run and manage virtual machines over a Linux host, but the .exe suffix here hints that it is a Windows executable. The command would try to launch a Windows build of a Linux-based virtual machine manager on a Unix machine through a Windows emulation layer (wine).
* <code>source .bash_history</code>: the <code>source</code> shell command reads the file that is given as argument and executes each of its rows as a command in the current shell, roughly as if you typed them in; <code>.bash_history</code> (located in the user home directory) is the file where the bash shell saves the history of the commands that have been run. This command would re-run all the commands that have been typed in the shell.
* <code>rm -rf $DIRECTROY/*</code>: <code>rm -rf</code> deletes recursively and forcefully the paths it is given as arguments; <code>$DIRECTROY</code> is a shell variable, probably containing some directory that whoever typed in this command wanted to clean; however, it is misspelled (it says <code>$DIRECTROY</code>, not <code>$DIRECTORY</code>), and, due to how POSIX shell work, it is thus expanded to an empty string; so, the command becomes <code>rm -rf /*</code>, which deletes all the files and directories in the root of the disk, effectively killing the system instead of just deleting the content of some directory. Notice that this particular misspell manages to circumvent the builtin protection of many <code>rm</code> versions, which refuse to do a plain <code>rm -rf /</code>, as <code>/*</code> gets expanded by the shell, so <code>rm</code> never has the chance to see explicitly that you are killing all the data in the root directory.
* <code>:(){:|:&};:</code>: this is [https://askubuntu.com/q/159491/208527 a classic shell fork bomb], i.e. a small program that keeps launching copies of itself until all resources have been exhausted or the user somehow manages to kill all its copies.
* <code>echo "source .bashrc" >> .bashrc</code>: <code>.bashrc</code> is a file that gets executed whenever the <code>bash</code> shell is started in interactive mode; this command appends the string <code>source .bashrc</code> to it, which effectively executes it again recursively; this would pretty much make it impossible to open an interactive shell when launching it with the default parameters.
* <code>alias gcc=php</code>: the <code>alias</code> shell builtin create an alias for another command; <code>gcc</code> is the GNU C compiler driver, which is used to compile programs written in the C language; <code>php</code> is the command-line interpreter for the PHP language. This line creates an alias such that when typing <code>gcc</code>, <code>php</code> is actually invoked, which would generate completely absurd error messages. This is doubly devious, as PHP isn't generally held in high esteem by large part of the programming community (especially by someone writing stuff in C).

* <code>'); DROP TABLE Menus;--</code> links to [[327: Exploits of a Mom]]
|-
! 7
| '''Games'''
| Normal submenu
| Twenty Questions> A Twenty Questions interface that gets really confusing. There are links to Bing image searches for '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=okapi&FORM=HDRSC2 okapi]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=pronghorn&FORM=HDRSC2 pronghorn]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=eland&FORM=HDRSC2 eland]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=baribusa&FORM=HDRSC2 baribusa]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=musk%20deer&FORM=HDRSC2 musk deer]' and '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=ibex&FORM=HDRSC2 ibex]'. The game also contains some extremely large cans of creamed corn (a reference to [[1807: Listening]]).

Rock Paper Scissors> A Rock Paper Scissors game where the computer always matches your move. If you go long enough, the Defect option is added, a reference to the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prisoner%27s_dilemma Prisoner's Dilemma].

D&D> An interface that allows you to "cast" over 300 spells from D&D 5e. Several menus are used to filter the spells based on their traits: class which can learn the spell, the school of the spell, the spell level, and components required to perform it (somatic, vocal, material). The traits can be chosen in any order. After all six traits are chosen a submenu opens with all of the spells that match those exact traits (which might be no spells at all).

Most spells link to various pages, including xkcd comics (e.g. [[1331: Frequency]]), what-ifs (e.g. {{what if|144|Saliva Pool}}) and other external sites (e.g. [https://www.nasa.gov/sun The Sun | NASA]). Some spells create effects that change the comic page temporarily or permanently, and some open submenus from different parts of the context menu.

See [[#D&D spells|below]] for all links and effects.

ADVENT.EXE> A text-based adventure game. If played correctly, you can win, unlocking 'Save'>'Save image' from the beginning menu, which links to [https://xkcd.com/1975/v6xso1_right_click_save.png].

The first scene allows you a choice between exploring a dark cave or a castle. If you explore the cave first you get the following description: "It's pitch black. You're likely to be eaten by a grue". This is a reference to a text adventure game called [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zork Zork], where [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grue_(monster) Grues] are monsters who dwell in the dark and eat human explorers, making it impossible to explore dark areas. The same description often appears when you enter a dark area without a light source in Zork and other related games.

If you ignore the warning and go deeper, you are given one more warning ("You're deep in a cave. Something, possibly this very sentence, tells you it would be dangerous to go any further"). If you ignore that too and keep going, you fall into a pit. Several options are given to try and rescue yourself (or alternatively "resign to your fate" or deny you are in a pit [You also may try to cause a distraction by saying "Look behind you! A three-headed monkey!" This may be a reference to the Curse of Monkey Island, where Guybrush Threepwood distracts characters by saying the same line.]) but all lead to "you've been eaten by a grue". Being eaten by a grue seems to be an irreversible condition - if you exit the context menu and enter ADVENT.EXE again, you are given no options and are told again that "you've been eaten by a grue". Apparently only refreshing the page cancels that.

Exploring the castle is a much safer option to begin with. The main castle scene has a door, a well, and stairs that go up to the tower. The door is locked, and trying to break it is futile.

The well is a wishing well. Examining it allows for several options:
* Examine the sign - it reads "Dark! Narrow! Scary! Well of Three Features". This is a reference to [http://zelda.wikia.com/wiki/Well_of_Three_Features the well of three features] from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
* Wish for... - this one has a lot of options, some of which are links to comics or What If pages and some lead to further submenus:
** World peace - leads to the answer "I'm just a well, can you scale it down a bit?" and then back to the well menu; this option is from now changed to "Inner peace", which gives "A feeling of calm washes over you." and "Ommmmmm...", which also goes back to the well menu
** More wishes - leads back to the "Wish for..." menu. The idea of using a wish to wish for more wishes is common when discussing things with wish-granting powers and was previously mentioned in [[1086: Eyelash Wish Log]].
** Fewer wishes - Tell you "Really? Okay.." (as this is not something most people would ask for{{Citation needed}}). If you continue you return to the "Examine well" menu. If you want to make a wish again (even after exiting the menu and coming back again) you can only wish for "more wishes" and then you can continue wishing normally.
** Happiness - links to [[572: Together]], a comic about getting "happiness" as a scavenger hunt item.
** Luck - links to [[1053: Ten Thousand]] which refers to hearing about commonly known things for the first time as being one of "today's lucky 10,000".
** Wisdom - You hear a voice whisper 'N, E, N, N, N, W, S, W'. This is a clue for later.
** Wealth - Links to the what if article {{what if|111|All the Money}}, which might explain what will happen if the wishing well "overgrants" your wish.
** A human-sized hamster ball - links to [[152: Hamster Ball]] where [[Cueball]] wishes for the same thing.
** A map of everything - links to [[1196: Subways]], a map of the subways of North America, which are apparently "everything" for Americans.
** True love - links to {{what if|9|Soul Mates}}.
** A kitty! - links to [[231: Cat Proximity]], a comic detailing the effect of cats on humans.
* Jump in - Allows you to swim (and later "just keep swimming..." indefinitely) or climb out and return to the "Examine well" menu.
* Pull up the bucket - "You reel in the bucket. There's something shiny in the bottom". If you examine the bucket you get a key!

After you have the key, if you go back to the castle you can now use the key on the locked door and enter a dungeon. In the dungeon, there is a clamp on a table that you can take.

Finally, in the tower, you can find a "strange machine" dubbed a "C-Remover". You can try to use the C-Remover on any item you got. It doesn't affect the key, but it does turn the clamp into a lamp! The C-remover is a reference to either the T-remover from [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leather_Goddesses_of_Phobos Leather Goddess of Phobos] or the multi-letter remover from [http://emshort.com/counterfeit_monkey/ Counterfeit Monkey], a text adventure by Emily Short inspired by it.

After you have the lamp, entering the cave becomes safer. It now becomes "a maze of twisty passages, all alike" where each room allows going N, E, S, or W, normally leading to an identical room. Only by using the clue from the wish for "wisdom" in the well and going N, E, N, N, N, W, S, W you can navigate the maze successfully. When following that path, after the first "W" the options become N, S, and Dennis instead of the usual N, E, S, W; this is a reference to the text-based game [http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/Thy_Dungeonman Thy Dungeonman] found in a Strong Bad email from [http://homestarrunner.com homestarrunner.com].

If you follow the full path you find the center of the maze where there is a nest with a "large multicolored egg" (an easter egg!). If you take the egg you are told "You feel a sense of potential, as if you may have more options now". This is because the "save" options are now unlocked in the main context menu and the file menu!

Hoverboard> Links to [[1608: Hoverboard]] browser game.

Mornington Crescent> This is a simulation of the well-known game {{W|Mornington_Crescent_(game)|Mornington Crescent}}, which bears a surprising resemblance to {{W|London_Underground|London's Underground}} railway network. Players name a station, in turn, endeavoring to reach Mornington Crescent. The rules of play are very complicated and beyond the scope of this article; interested persons are referred to ''N. F. Stovold’s Mornington Crescent: Rules and Origins'' (sadly out of print). In this variation, one may reach 'Vauxhall'>'Easter basket'>'Take egg', also allowing you to save. The shortest path to the Easter basket is: Euston / Warren Street / Oxford Circus / Green Park / Victoria / Pimlico / Vauxhall / Easter basket

All playable stations are immediately adjacent on the London Underground network to the station last played. Despite the fact that this version of the game starts at Euston, which is adjacent to Mornington Crescent, the branch of the {{W|Northern_line|Northern line}} on which the {{W|Mornington_Crescent_tube_station|eponymous station}} is situated does not appear in the game.
|-
! 8
| '''Help'''
| Contains various submenus, all of which, barring Credits, loop back recursively to this menu:
|Tutorial
Support

Manual

Troubleshooting

FAQ

Guide

Q&A

User forums

--------------

Credits> 'Some people who helped with this comic:
[http://chromakode.com/ @chromakode]
[https://twitter.com/aiiane Amber]
[https://twitter.com/fadinginterest @fadinginterest]
[https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat]
[https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin]
[http://90d.ca/ Stereo]'
|-
! 9
| '''Do Crimes'''
| Contains several "crimes" that can be committed. This option is unlocked by File > Open > C:\ (or /home/user) > Bookmarks/ > Secret > Enable Dark Web.
This is a joke about how the dark web is perceived in popular culture - a place that exists solely to do crimes, mainly bitcoin and hacking related.
| Steal Bitcoins > Grayed out.
Say swears > Several clean swears that all link to [[771: Period Speech]].

Hack > Three sub-options that link to various related comics. (Gibson: Nothing. Election: [[1019: First Post]]. Planet: [[1337: Hack]].)

Forge a Scrabble Tile > Several sub-options that don't do anything. (U, Z, <this menu option intentionally left blank>, and two special characters, one being a Russian 'Э', as low-pitched [eh], and the second being a crossed swords emoji (⚔)
|}

====Filesystems Menu====

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Drive !! Menu Item !! Explanation !! Sub-Menu Items
|-
! A:\
| '''Insert'''
| Only appears before inserting a floppy disk.
|Floppy disk> Unlocks other options for drive A:\, which are identical to drive C:\
Chip card> A long sequence of being told 'Please wait. Authorizing...' ending in 'Chip error! REMOVE CARD NOW!'
|-
! C:\
| '''Documents/'''
| Nothing.
| None.
|-
! C:\
| '''Music/'''
| Leads to a long string of prompts for song lyrics. 'Hey now / Hey now na now / Sing "This Corrosion" to me' inverts the webpage's color before Easter egg mode is enabled, and plays the referenced song in the browser with inverted color and flashing if the Easter egg mode is enabled. It's actually the same menu that is shown under Utilities>Identify song (which itself is a menu-ised version of [[851: Na]]).
| 'Hey now / Hey now / Don't dream it's over' links to [[240: Dream Girl]]. 'This / is / a / story all about how / my life got flipped, turned upside down' links to [[464: RBA]]. 'This / is / the / story of a girl / who cried a river and drowned the whole world' links to a Youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_FVAEYRM5I
|-
! C:\
| '''Bookmarks/'''
| Similar to Music/, Bookmarks/> Comics leads to a chain from which many comics are titled and linked. Probably all comics actually. For instance, he thus here recognizes his first April Fools' comic [[404: Not Found]], which cannot be found, as a real comic by linking to it. Bookmarks/> Secret> Enable Dark Web adds the 'Dark Web' option to the initial menu.
|-
! C:\
| '''Games/'''
| Same as 'Games' from the initial menu.
|-
! C:\
| '''Sequences/'''
| The options are the lines from a ''Tim and Eric'' sketch [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/celery-man Celery Man]; the final option links to a YouTube video of the sketch.
| After several single-option menus, it links to this Youtube video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHWBEK8w_YY
|-
! /
| '''home/'''
| Nothing.
| guest> links to http://uni.xkcd.com/ - a command-line Unix-style interface for viewing xkcd comics (and other commands to discover) that was used as the April Fool's joke in 2010. See also [[UniXKCD]].

user> Same files as C:\

root> Displays 'You are not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.' Which is what the sudo command will print if unauthorized users try to use it.
|-
! /
| '''opt/'''
| Does nothing.
| None.
|-
! /
| '''sbin/'''
| Does nothing.
| None.
|-
! /
| '''usr/'''
| Opens an infinite sequence of options, each similar to the last, but replacing the previous selection with another folder; probably a reference to the fact that [https://www.tldp.org/LDP/Linux-Filesystem-Hierarchy/html/usr.html the /usr hierarchy] does contain a list of subdirectories pretty much identical [https://www.tldp.org/LDP/Linux-Filesystem-Hierarchy/html/the-root-directory.html to those of the root directory]. /usr/local, too is a duplicate of /usr for files not originating with the distro, and of late /var and /opt have also started expanding.
|-
! /
| '''dev/'''
| Nothing.
|random/> links to a random xkcd comic. In unix systems reading from the /dev/random file generates pseudorandom bytes, so it fits here that /dev/random gives a random comic.
urandom/> links to [[221: Random Number]]. In unix systems, /dev/urandom is the same as /dev/random, except in /dev/random you don't get anything if you don't have sufficient "randomness" in the system, and in /dev/urandom you get whatever you have. The linked comic describes a botched attempt to create a function that would return a truly random number but actually, it returns a fixed number (and thus isn't useful at all). This alludes to /dev/urandom providing bad results sometimes.
|}

====D&D spells====
Here all the spells from the "d&d" game are detailed, including the traits you need to enter to get to them and the link they lead to/effect they create.

To get to a specific spell using this table you need to go to games->d&d->cast and then enter the traits - level, class, school, and components - in any order. Note that many spells list more than one class in the table (in d&d it means multiple classes can cast that spell), which means you need to choose one of those classes in the menu. Components are listed in the table as V for Verbal Components, S for Somatic Components and M for Material Components - choose "yes" or "no" for these based on whether the matching letter is there or not.

=====Link Spells=====
The vast majority of spells (285 of them apparently) are actually links to xkcd comics, what ifs, or external pages that somehow demonstrate or relate to the spell.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Name !! Level !! Classes !! School !! Components !! Link !! Explanation
|-
! Acid Arrow
| 2
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/790/
| The comic is about giving LSD (commonly known as "acid") to test subjects
|-
! Aid
| 2
| Cleric, Paladin
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| http://donorschoose.org
| A site dedicated to donations - aiding various subjects
|-
! Alarm
| 1
| Ranger, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1359/
| Comic about phone alarm
|-
! Alter Self
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1099/
| In this comic beret guy is "altered" in a weird way
|-
! Animal Friendship
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1746/
| A comic about making friends in a way that might attract some animals better than humans
|-
! Animal Messenger
| 2
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://twitter.com/dog_rates
| A humorous Twitter page about "rating dogs" - in a way "messaging about" animals
|-
! Animal Shapes
| 8
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1278/
| A comic about using genetic engineering to change an animal (in this case a giraffe) shape
|-
! Animate Dead
| 3
| Cleric, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=62
|
|-
! Arcane Eye
| 4
| Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/993/
| The comic is related to creating a brand by having products that "stand out" and are therefore "more visible"
|-
! Astral Projection
| 9
| Cleric, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/977/
| A comic about map projections
|-
! Augury
| 2
| Cleric
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1334/
| The comic is about checking the second page of google results for answers, which might be parallelized to reading omens in the spell.
|-
! Awaken
| 5
| Bard, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1518/
| A comic about awakening... badly to an alarm sound
|-
! Bane
| 1
| Bard, Cleric
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/972/
| The comic details a simple exploit by blackhat, the bane of everyone's existence
|-
! Barkskin
| 2
| Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/qFI4BQlBbig
| A video by "My Brother, My Brother and Me" where a person creates a "shitty iron man armor", parallel to the armor created by barkskin
|-
! Beacon of Hope
| 3
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Svalbard_Global_Seed_Vault
| Link to the wikipedia page about the global seed vault, which is meant to function as "a beacon of hope" in case of global disaster.
|-
! Bestow Curse
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/214/
| The comic talks about "the problem of wikipedia" which can be time-waster to curious people. This can also be rephrased as "the curse of wikipedia"
|-
! Black Tentacles
| 4
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1926/
| The comic is about an "ugly mess of code" which can be compared to a tentacle mess
|-
! Blade Barrier
| 6
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1406/
| The comic is about a "universal converted" which can be thought of as a kind of barrier
|-
! Bless
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/55/
| A what if article about saying "bless you" to random people on the phone, hoping they just sneezed
|-
! Blight
| 4
| Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1807/
| Another exploit by black hat
|-
! Blindness/Deafness
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V
| https://xkcd.com/467/
| A comic related to "two girls one cup", a well-known shock video which might make people wish they were blind after seeing it
|-
! Branding Smite
| 2
| Paladin
| Evocation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/384/
|
|-
! Burning Hands
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1296/
| Git messages become increasingly similar to a person on fire typing them and also relate to haaaannds
|-
! Call Lightning
| 3
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/16/
| A what if with several lightning-related questions
|-
! Calm Emotions
| 2
| Bard, Cleric
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://twitter.com/CuteEmergency
| Twitter page about cute dogs that might indeed calm your emotions
|-
! Chain Lightning
| 6
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/898/
| Comic about the chain of command
|-
! Charm Person
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1777/
| Comic about the Nigerian Scan, which can be thought of as a way to "charm" people into doing what you want (like other scams)
|-
! Chill Touch
| 0
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1108/
| Comic about a cautionary ghost, similar to the ghostly hand the spell creates
|-
! Circle of Death
| 6
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1674/
| Comic about doing "adult stuff" including writing a will
|-
! Clairvoyance
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1421/
| Comic about discovering a creepily clairvoyant comment from your "past self" in your code
|-
! Clone
| 8
| Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1597/
| Comic about git - "clone" is a common git command.
|-
! Cloudkill
| 5
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/8/
|
|-
! Color Spray
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1882/
| Comic about color
|-
! Command
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin
| Enchantment
| V
| https://xkcd.com/857/
| A comic about a man making a famous phrase by Archimedes into a command with an ultimatum
|-
! Commune
| 5
| Cleric
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/7yxaKeRRypo?t=44s
|
|-
! Commune with Nature
| 5
| Druid, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/BOxRFMiSDZU?t=9m47s
|
|-
! Comprehend Languages
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1816/
| A comic about language weirdness and puns
|-
! Compulsion
| 4
| Bard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/609/
| A comic about TVTropes, which might create a compulsion to follow links and stay there for a long time
|-
! Cone of Cold
| 5
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1714/
| Comic about volcanoes, which are actually cones of heat usually (the "waffle cone" volcano in the comic is probably cold)
|-
! Confusion
| 4
| Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1969/
| Comic presents a way to confuse people by setting to "not found" page of your site to a "not available in your country" page
|-
! Conjure Woodland Beings
| 4
| Druid, Ranger
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1903/
| A comic about "buns" which are woodland beings
|-
! Contact Other Plane
| 5
| Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1889/
| Comic from the "[[xkcd Phone]]" series. With all their features, surely xkcd phones can contact other planes...
|-
! Contagion
| 5
| Cleric, Druid
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1161/
| Comic about hand sanitizer, which is meant to prevent contagion, but maybe not as effectively as [[Cueball]] would like.
|-
! Contingency
| 6
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/140/
|
|-
! Continual Flame
| 2
| Cleric, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_F._Kennedy_Eternal_Flame
| Wikipedia about eternal (continual) flame
|-
! Control Water
| 4
| Cleric, Druid, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V,S,M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/103/
| What if article about water disappearing
|-
! Control Weather
| 8
| Cleric, Druid, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1126/
| Comic about the weirdness of the weather in 2005
|-
! Create Food and Water
| 3
| Cleric, Paladin
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1774/
| A comic about food in supermarkets
|-
! Create or Destroy Water
| 1
| Cleric, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/103/
| What if article about water disappearing (Same as in "control water" - actually more fitting here)
|-
! Create Undead
| 6
| Cleric, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/69/
| What if about the dead users in Facebook who are compared to "undead" in a comic image at the start of the article
|-
! Creation
| 5
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/_hH7vZF15SY
| "Monster Factory" episode which is a gameplay video of the game spore which is about the creation of a species and a civilization. "Creating" is also in the video title.
|-
! Cure Wounds
| 1
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1618/
| A comic about trying to cure a pretty bad cold
|-
! Dancing Lights
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1331/
| Comic that shows frequencies of different events in the form of blinking ("dancing") gifs ("lights")
|-
! Daylight
| 3
| Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Sorcerer
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/673/
| A comic about "daylight saving time"
|-
! Death Ward
| 4
| Cleric, Paladin
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/865/
| In the comic IPv6 functions as a sort of "death ward" against nanobots, buying us some time before the total annihilation of life on earth.
|-
! Demiplane
| 8
| Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| S
| https://xkcd.com/1703/
|
|-
! Detect Evil and Good
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/256/
| A map of internet communities, with the good and bad parts.
|-
! Detect Magic
| 1
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/808/
| An economic argument that "detects" what crazy "magic" phenomenon actually works and what doesn't.
|-
! Detect Poison and Disease
| 1
| Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/802/
| Updated version of "map of online communities" which was linked to from "detect good and evil", again suggesting that online communities are full of "poison and disease".
|-
! Detect Thoughts
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1448/
| A note asking someone about their thoughts (or feelings)
|-
! Disguise Self
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/451/
| Comic about being an impostor and "disguising" yourself as an expert in a field.
|-
! Disintegrate
| 6
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/1/
| The very first what if, where a baseball is pitched at 90% of the speed of light and begins to disintegrate... In a nuclear explosion
|-
! Dispel Evil and Good
| 5
| Cleric, Paladin
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/5/
| What-if about a contemporary robot apocalypse ("evil") and how to "dispel" it.
|-
! Dispel Magic
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/109/
| Comic about spoilers who "dispel the magic" of watching some movies.
|-
! Divination
| 4
| Cleric
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1525/
| xkcd's version of the magic 8 ball, a toy/tool for divination
|-
! Divine Favor
| 1
| Paladin
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1575/
| A comic parodying the Christian poem "footprints" which is about divine favor
|-
! Divine Word
| 7
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/741/
|
|-
! Dominate Beast
| 4
| Druid, Sorcerer
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1934/
| Comic about excessive phone security settings that "dominate" the thief in a way
|-
! Dominate Monster
| 8
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/JgChfrBsEaI
| "Monster factory" episode about "creating the Shrek franchise" - which is about a monster - in spore.
|-
! Dominate Person
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1116/
| Comic about confusing traffic light which can "dominate" a person.
|-
! Dream
| 5
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/557/
| Comic about the common "not ready for school" dream
|-
! Druidcraft
| 0
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/867/
| Comic about branches of zoology - zoology can be thought of as "druidcraft"
|-
! Earthquake
| 8
| Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/08/24/earthquakes/
| Blog post about earthquakes
|-
! Eldritch Blast
| 0
| Warlock
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/356/
| Comic about "nerd sniping", an unconventional sort of "blast" for "hitting" nerds
|-
! Enhance Ability
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/YLg_aIlhe6I?t=23m33s
| "Monster factory" episode about the stars recreating themselves in a WWE videogame, in a way "enhancing their abilities"
|-
! Entangle
| 1
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/257/
|
|-
! Enthrall
| 2
| Bard, Warlock
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1286/
|
|-
! Etherealness
| 7
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/644/
|
|-
! Expeditious Retreat
| 1
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/61/
|
|-
! Eyebite
| 6
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1015/
|
|-
! Fabricate
| 4
| Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/bn4x_BRqIpI?t=5m5s
|
|-
! Faerie Fire
| 1
| Bard, Druid
| Evocation
| V
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/151/
|
|-
! Faithful Hound
| 4
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1193/
|
|-
! False Life
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/8-3jDVTLdaQ
|
|-
! Fear
| 3
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1242/
|
|-
! Feather Fall
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, M
| https://youtu.be/bWvyJ05TdC8?t=13m34s
|
|-
! Feeblemind
| 8
| Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/574/
|
|-
! Find Familiar
| 1
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/413/
|
|-
! Find Steed
| 2
| Paladin
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1651/
|
|-
! Find the Path
| 6
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/887/
|
|-
! Find Traps
| 2
| Cleric, Druid, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1195/
|
|-
! Finger of Death
| 7
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/117/
|
|-
! Fire Bolt
| 0
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/639/
|
|-
! Fire Shield
| 4
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://www.jpl.nasa.gov/video/details.php?id=1090
|
|-
! Fire Storm
| 7
| Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/ujADg0nWqCw?t=15m51s
|
|-
! Flame Blade
| 2
| Druid
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/961/
|
|-
! Flame Strike
| 5
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/J9hMe1R8eYw
|
|-
! Flaming Sphere
| 2
| Druid, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/673/
|
|-
! Flesh to Stone
| 6
| Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V,S,M
| https://xkcd.com/1409/
|
|-
! Floating Disk
| 1
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/50/
|
|-
! Fly
| 3
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/353/
|
|-
! Fog Cloud
| 1
| Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| http://twitter.com/karlthefog
|
|-
! Forbiddance
| 6
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/782/
|
|-
! Forcecage
| 7
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1142/
|
|-
! Foresight
| 9
| Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1876/
|
|-
! Freedom of Movement
| 4
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Ranger
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/sCOwRahm0so?t=1m8s
|
|-
! Freezing Sphere
| 6
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/121/
|
|-
! Gaseous Form
| 3
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/146/
|
|-
! Geas
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1559/
|
|-
! Gentle Repose
| 2
| Cleric, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/1Wl_yf86n78?t=20m
|
|-
! Giant Insect
| 4
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/_1jGnFt78H8?t=25m32s
|
|-
! Glibness
| 8
| Bard, Warlock
| Transmutation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/707/
|
|-
! Globe of Invulnerability
| 6
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/153/
|
|-
! Glyph of Warding
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1247/
|
|-
! Goodberry
| 1
| Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1035/
|
|-
! Grease
| 1
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/4/
|
|-
! Greater Invisibility
| 4
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/72/
|
|-
! Greater Restoration
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| http://www.maximumfun.org/shows/my-brother-my-brother-and-me
|
|-
! Guardian of Faith
| 4
| Cleric
| Conjuration
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1934/
|
|-
! Guards and Wards
| 6
| Bard, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1890/
|
|-
! Guidance
| 0
| Cleric, Druid
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1028/
|
|-
! Guiding Bolt
| 1
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1160/
|
|-
! Gust of Wind
| 2
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1378/
|
|-
! Hallow
| 5
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1677/
|
|-
! Hallucinatory Terrain
| 4
| Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1472/
|
|-
! Harm
| 6
| Cleric
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/218/
|
|-
! Haste
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1701/
|
|-
! Heal
| 6
| Cleric, Druid
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/218/
|
|-
! Healing Word
| 1
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Evocation
| V
| https://youtu.be/NYnldxUpYQQ
|
|-
! Heat Metal
| 2
| Bard, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/35/
|
|-
! Hellish Rebuke
| 1
| Warlock
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/327/
|
|-
! Heroes' Feast
| 6
| Cleric, Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/_v1v0t8Q5xg?t=7m48s
|
|-
! Heroism
| 1
| Bard, Paladin
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/326/
|
|-
! Hideous Laughter
| 1
| Bard, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
|
|
|-
! Hold Monster
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1604/
|
|-
! Hold Person
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/540/
|
|-
! Holy Aura
| 8
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/145/
|
|-
! Hunter's Mark
| 1
| Ranger
| Divination
| V
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/11/
|
|-
! Hypnotic Pattern
| 3
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| S, M
| https://xkcd.com/722/
|
|-
! Ice Storm
| 4
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/104/
|
|-
! Identify
| 1
| Bard, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/9/
|
|-
! Illusory Script
| 1
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1288/
|
|-
! Imprisonment
| 9
| Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/U4rwlvMEoj0
|
|-
! Incendiary Cloud
| 8
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/139/
|
|-
! Inflict Wounds
| 1
| Cleric
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/Kcd44VfN-Ro?t=3m24s
|
|-
! Insect Plague
| 5
| Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1127/
|
|-
! Instant Summons
| 6
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/123/
| What if about fairy demographics which are "summoned" to the first laugh of a child
|-
! Invisibility
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1080/
|
|-
! Irresistible Dance
| 6
| Bard, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://xkcd.com/878/
|
|-
! Jump
| 1
| Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/kT2Y6ftxilM?t=17m37s
|
|-
! Knock
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/530/
|
|-
! Legend Lore
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1350/
|
|-
! Lesser Restoration
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/567/
|
|-
! Levitate
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/520/
|
|-
! Light
| 0
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/13/
|
|-
! Lightning Bolt
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/109/
|
|-
! Locate Animals or Plants
| 2
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1826/
|
|-
! Locate Creature
| 4
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1747/
|
|-
! Locate Object
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| http://bfy.tw/Dh
|
|-
! Longstrider
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Ranger, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1065/
|
|-
! Mage Armor
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1636/
|
|-
! Mage Hand
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1812/
|
|-
! Magic Circle
| 3
| Cleric, Paladin, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/112/
|
|-
! Magic Jar
| 6
| Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1021/
|
|-
! Magic Missile
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1356/
|
|-
! Magic Mouth
| 2
| Bard, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/37/
|
|-
! Magic Weapon
| 2
| Paladin, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/81/
|
|-
! Magnificent Mansion
| 7
| Bard, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/TamwFUUd9Yk?t=10m29s
|
|-
! Major Image
| 3
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/980/
|
|-
! Mass Cure Wounds
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1793/
|
|-
! Mass Heal
| 9
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/1Cj8d6EcFp0
|
|-
! Mass Healing Word
| 3
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1520/
|
|-
! Mass Suggestion
| 6
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, M
| https://xkcd.com/1264/
|
|-
! Maze
| 8
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/246/
|
|-
! Meld into Stone
| 3
| Cleric, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/V5PlKZRQVgQ
|
|-
! Mending
| 0
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1780
|
|-
! Message
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1782/
|
|-
! Meteor Swarm
| 9
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1249/
|
|-
! Mind Blank
| 8
| Bard, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1145/
|
|-
! Minor Illusion
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1492/
|
|-
! Mirage Arcane
| 7
| Bard, Druid, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/806/
|
|-
! Mislead
| 5
| Bard, Wizard
| Illusion
| S
| https://xkcd.com/1488/
|
|-
! Misty Step
| 2
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/126/
|
|-
! Modify Memory
| 5
| Bard, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1156/
|
|-
! Moonbeam
| 2
| Druid
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1738/
|
|-
! Move Earth
| 6
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/723/
|
|-
! Nondetection
| 3
| Bard, Ranger, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/937/
|
|-
! Pass Without Trace
| 2
| Druid, Ranger
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/LHBzVTCO3nM?t=4m32s
|
|-
! Passwall
| 5
| Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1608/
|
|-
! Phantasmal Killer
| 4
| Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/12/
|
|-
! Phantom Steed
| 3
| Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/U3JnZEzoL6M
|
|-
! Planar Ally
| 6
| Cleric
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/112/
|
|-
! Planar Binding
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1956/
|
|-
! Plane Shift
| 7
| Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/803/
|
|-
! Plant Growth
| 3
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/yV9wy9ucXgc
|
|-
! Poison Spray
| 0
| Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/144/
|
|-
! Polymorph
| 4
| Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1094/
|
|-
! Power Word Kill
| 9
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://youtu.be/VHR0EfYACAI?t=13m51s
|
|-
! Power Word Stun
| 8
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/
|
|-
! Prayer of Healing
| 2
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/418/
|
|-
! Prestidigitation
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/942/
|
|-
! Prismatic Spray
| 7
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/657/
|
|-
! Prismatic Wall
| 9
| Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1271/
|
|-
! Private Sanctum
| 4
| Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1663/#74b2196a-34fa-11e8-8001-42010a8e0006
|
|-
! Produce Flame
| 0
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/386/
|
|-
! Programmed Illusion
| 6
| Bard, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/303/
|
|-
! Project Image
| 7
| Bard, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/bR0Ubck0IRA
|
|-
! Protection from Energy
| 3
| Cleric, Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/556/
|
|-
! Protection from Evil and Good
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1303/
|
|-
! Protection from Poison
| 2
| Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1305/
|
|-
! Purify Food and Drink
| 1
| Cleric, Druid, Paladin
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/ONSWw4aBBLg
|
|-
! Raise Dead
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Paladin
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/599/
|
|-
! Ray of Enfeeblement
| 2
| Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/526/
|
|-
! Ray of Frost
| 0
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/312/
|
|-
! Regenerate
| 7
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1024/
|
|-
! Reincarnate
| 5
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/WbKrlJgwI4A?t=17m33s
|
|-
! Remove Curse
| 3
| Cleric, Paladin, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/391/
|
|-
! Resilient Sphere
| 4
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1248/
|
|-
! Resistance
| 0
| Cleric, Druid
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/730/
|
|-
! Resurrection
| 7
| Bard, Cleric
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com
|
|-
! Reverse Gravity
| 7
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1115/
|
|-
! Revivify
| 3
| Cleric, Paladin
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/346/
|
|-
! Rope Trick
| 2
| Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
|
|-
! Sacred Flame
| 0
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://www.nasa.gov/sun
|
|-
! Sanctuary
| 1
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/qQVlGrwG9yo?t=11m49s
|
|-
! Scorching Ray
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/729
|
|-
! Scrying
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://archive.org/donate/
|
|-
! Secret Chest
| 4
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1762/
|
|-
! See invisibility
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/401/
|
|-
! Seeming
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/451/
|
|-
! Sending
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/352/
|
|-
! Sequester
| 7
| Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/646/
|
|-
! Shapechange
| 9
| Druid, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/-aWH3-46slI?t=6m4s
|
|-
! Shatter
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/137/
|
|-
! Shield
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/916/
|
|-
! Shield of Faith
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/129/
|
|-
! Shillelagh
| 0
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/LXxdC9X3hxg?t=8m6s
|
|-
! Shocking Grasp
| 0
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/242/
|
|-
! Silence
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Ranger
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/525/
|
|-
! Silent Image
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1416/
|
|-
! Simulacrum
| 7
| Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/1Qo1Aj_leEo
|
|-
! Sleep
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/320/
|
|-
! Sleet Storm
| 3
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/511/
|
|-
! Slow
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/162/
|
|-
! Speak with Animals
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1879/
|
|-
! Speak with Plants
| 3
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/70/
|
|-
! Spider Climb
| 2
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/136/
|
|-
! Spike Growth
| 2
| Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/67/
|
|-
! Spirit Guardians
| 3
| Cleric
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/695/
|
|-
! Spiritual Weapon
| 2
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/A1gTbnB-Gps?t=17m2s
|
|-
! Stinking Cloud
| 3
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
|
|
|-
! Stone Shape
| 4
| Cleric, Druid, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/135/
|
|-
! Stoneskin
| 4
| Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/LlKnEgPEGmA
|
|-
! Storm of Vengeance
| 9
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/93/
|
|-
! Suggestion
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, M
| https://xkcd.com/672
|
|-
! Sunbeam
| 6
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/141/
|
|-
! Sunburst
| 8
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/115/
|
|-
! Telekinesis
| 5
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/3/
|
|-
! Telepathic Bond
| 5
| Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1504/
|
|-
! Thaumaturgy
| 0
| Cleric
| Transmutation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1131/
|
|-
! Thunderwave
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/140/
|
|-
! Tiny Hut
| 3
| Bard, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/905/
|
|-
! Tongues
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, M
| https://xkcd.com/1137
|
|-
! Tree Stride
| 5
| Druid, Ranger
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/IDBcGgjtFRs?t=1m3s
|
|-
! True Polymorph
| 9
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| (no link?)
|
|-
! True Resurrection
| 9
| Cleric, Druid
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/7-n8TZqm9Ic?t=12m36
|
|-
! True Seeing
| 6
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| http://geekwagon.net/projects/xkcd1190/
|
|-
! True Strike
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| S
| https://youtu.be/wWOVS0XQmPM?t=12m11s
|
|-
! Unseen Servant
| 1
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/958/
|
|-
! Vampiric Touch
| 3
| Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/98/
|
|-
! Vicious Mockery
| 0
| Bard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://xkcd.com/732/
|
|-
! Wall of Fire
| 4
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/fires/main/usa/index.html
|
|-
! Wall of Force
| 5
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/147/
|
|-
! Wall of Ice
| 6
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/104/
|
|-
! Wall of Stone
| 5
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://pubs.usgs.gov/of/2003/of03-001/htmldocs/images/chart.pdf
|
|-
! Wall of Thorns
| 6
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1970/
|
|-
! Warding Bond
| 2
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1188/
|
|-
! Water Breathing
| 3
| Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/969/
|
|-
! Water Walk
| 3
| Cleric, Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1599/
|
|-
! Web
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/195/
|
|-
! Weird
| 9
| Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1501/
|
|-
! Wind Walk
| 6
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/zpahjcaRt6w?t=12m27s
|
|-
! Wind Wall
| 3
| Druid, Ranger
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/66/
|
|-
! Wish
| 9
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1086/
|
|-
! Zone of Truth
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Paladin
| Enchantment
| V, S
| http://www.maximumfun.org/shows/adventure-zone
|
|}

=====Submenu Spells=====
These 9 spells all appear with an arrow and open submenus when hovered on. The submenus are all actually from different parts of the context menu. Several of the spells are "teleportation/transportation" related which might explain why they lead you to a different place in the menu.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Name !! Level !! Classes !! School !! Components !! Submenu !! Explanation
|-
! Antimagic Field
| 8
| Cleric, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S M
| Utilities menu
|
|-
! Banishment
| 4
| Cleric, Paladin, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| Do Crimes menu (even without unlocking it via Enable Dark Web)
|
|-
! Blink
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| Utilities menu
|
|-
! Counterspell
| 3
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| S
| Utilities menu
|
|-
! Delayed Blast Fireball
| 7
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| Help menu
|
|-
! Dimension Door
| 4
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V
| File - Open - C:\ - Bookmarks submenu
|
|-
! Teleportation Circle
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, M
| Games menu
|
|-
! Transport via Plants
| 6
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| Games menu
|
|-
! Word of Recall
| 6
| Cleric
| Conjuration
| V
| Utilities menu
|
|}

=====Effect Spells=====
These 10 spells activate different JavaScript functions that affect the page in various ways, permanent or temporary, that are suggestive of the spell that was cast.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Name !! Level !! Classes !! School !! Components !! Effect !! Explanation
|-
! Acid Splash
| 0
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| Causes the background to change color between red, yellow, chartreuse, blue, fuchsia, and blue-violet randomly every 300ms.
| Using LSD ('acid') often causes vibrant colors to 'splash' and swivel around one's visual field.
|-
! Animate Objects
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| Causes most parts of the page to begin shifting in place randomly every 100ms.
| The parts, or "objects" on the page are being "animated".
|-
! Blur
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V
| Causes the comic and most text to blur.
| Largely self-explanatory. In D&D, the Blur spell blurs one's body to make it harder to hit. This one blurs the elements on the page.
|-
! Conjure Animals
| 3
| Druid, Ranger
| Conjuration
| V, S
| Adds a rabbit image of a random size next to the comic.
| Conjures an image of an animal.
|-
! Darkness
| 2
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, M
| Causes the comic to disappear and the background to turn black.
| In D&D, the Darkness spell conjures darkness. This does largely the same thing.
|-
! Darkvision
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard, Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| Causes the background to turn gray and the comic to fade. However, it does not appear to work.
|
|-
! Fireball
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| Causes the page background to turn red then slowly turn white.
| Fireballs caused by nuclear weapons generally appear reddish-white.
|-
! Mirror Image
| 2
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| Causes the entire page to be mirrored on the vertical axis.
| Here, Mirror Image "mirrors" the image, instead of conjuring "mirror images" of yourself.
|-
! Symbol
| 7
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| Changes all text on the page to use Wingdings, Webdings, Symbol, or Zapf Dingbats.
| These are all {{w|dingbat}} fonts which replace text with symbols.
|-
! Time Stop
| 9
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V
| Pauses any currently ongoing effects. (But does not cancel them)
| Time Stop is a spell that stops time. This would make sense to stop ongoing effects.
|}

==Transcript==
:[Empty frame with Cueball standing slightly right of center.]

:[Caption below the frame:]
:Editor's Note: Today's comic is optimized for local viewing. To see the full version, just save a copy of the image!

==Trivia==
*On Monday, April 1st, 2019 [[2131: Emojidome]], an April Fools' comic was released, making it look like the missing April Fools' Day comic in 2017 was an [[1818:_Rayleigh_Scattering#No_April_Fools.27_Day_comic_in_2017|outlier]].
*Here is an example of how the game looks when entered:
[[File:1975_Right_Click_Systems_menu.png]]

{{comic discussion}}



[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:April fools' comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Buns]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]

1925: Self-Driving Car Milestones

2017-12-07T13:47:10Z

141.101.104.239: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1925
| date = December 6, 2017
| title = Self-Driving Car Milestones
| image = self_driving_car_milestones.png
| titletext = I'm working on a car capable of evaluating arbitrarily complex boolean expressions on "honk if [...]" bumper stickers and responding accordingly.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Added a bit more to the explanation and a table. Please add more.}}

With the creation of self driving cars, many new milestones are being found and / or solved thanks to them. Some are good, and some are downright weird. This comic explains some that have already been achieved, some that that are being worked on, and some that are facetious "milestones".

{| class="wikitable"
|+Milestones
|-
|Automatic emergency brakes
|This is another reference to how hard it can be to program human-obvious stuff (like in [[1425: Tasks]]). A self driving car has to be able to distinguish a danger (cliff, person on foot/cycle/etc., other cars coming the wrong way/doing weird stuff) from either the side of the road, the background, the other cars or even a light pole safely standing on the side of the road. Then the car also has to decide the optimal response, taking into account weather conditions, road type and traffic - whether to turn aside, just slow down (as danger is not imminent), or actually do the strong brake. There are big potential advantages for self-driving cars, if this problem can be solved: computers don't tend to panic as much as humans, would have faster reaction times, and would have {{w|Autonomous_car#Safety|more reliable judgment}}.
|-
|Highway lane-keeping
|Sometimes, especially on highways where road delimitations might be [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/11/Route_66_2073773569_7b3fae3b91_b.jpg/220px-Route_66_2073773569_7b3fae3b91_b.jpg faint or absent], or when lane markings could have faded away, a self-driving car programmed to pilot based on road markings would have issues holding to the good side of the road. This is a bigger problem on highways than in cities, as cars move faster on highways, so the danger detection mentioned above might not manage to detect danger in time, while braking or avoiding the obstacle needs to be anticipated much more.
|-
|Self-parking
|Already implemented in recent normal cars, this feature is important to remove the car from the road while not in use, and is sometimes considered a difficult maneuver for drivers to master, as it requires a good "feeling" of the car dimensions, as well as of distances and maneuverability of the car. The latter parameters, being easy to compute with radar and back-camera aide, are made rather easy for computers.
|-
|Full highway autonomy
|The ability for a car to drive itself on a highway. As of 2017, there are [http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/infrastructure/a13615577/self-driving-cars-lane-wisconsin/ plans] under consideration to set highway lanes aside for self-driving cars, but this milestone would require such a car to be able to operate on a highway that also has human-driven cars, as well as wildlife, pedestrians, debris, and other such obstacles, should they enter the highway.
|-
|First sex in a self-driving car
|This is not a milestone for the cars themselves, but just the age-old practice of having sex in cars, performed in a car that happens to be self-driving. Whether or not this would happen while the car is in motion (other than that induced by the passengers) or on a public road is not specified, though both are implied. Given the nature of human sexuality, it is possible this has already happened, but there has not been a public documentation of this milestone.
|-
|Full trips with no input from driver
|The main point of self-driving cars, allowing all humans within to act as passengers. As of 2017, self-driving cars require a human to be able to take over just in case, but any such trip where the human never actually took control would qualify for this milestone.
|-
|Full trips by empty cars
|A more complete version of the above, since with no humans present, no human can take control. This could be considered fulfilled by the {{w|DARPA Grand Challenge}}, as the challenges are racing competitions of autonomous cars with no humans on board.
|-
|Self-refueling of empty cars
|This would require either: a robotic fuel station, able to refuel cars with humans inside as well; an ordinary full-service fuel station (that is, one where the station's employee performs the refueling of the car) that happens to service a self-driving car with no humans aboard (which could be arranged as a publicity stunt); a specially designed fuel station that would allow self-driving cars to refuel by docking to it (likely to require fine control of the docking procedure that would render it unsuitable for more fallible human-driven cars); or, perhaps least likely, a robotic arm attachment on the car that would allow it to use a normal self-service fuel station.
|-
|An empty car wandering the highways for months or years until someone notices the credit card fuel charges
|The first completely facetious milestone of the list (since "first sex", despite having little to do with self-driving cars, has possibly happened). Cars are expensive enough that, were one to drive itself off and wander, some effort would be made to track it down. As this would require the self-refueling milestone, local fuel stations could be alerted to look for the "rogue" car—and in any case, whatever payment method is used to pay for the fuel would be traced.
|-
|Cars that read other cars' bumper stickers before deciding whether to cut them off
|Another facetious milestone, implying self-driving cars might obtain the capacity to hold and act upon opinions that might override safety and efficiency of transit. This would be generally considered undesirable{{Citation needed}}, so this seems unlikely to actually happen, except perhaps as an unintended consequence of runaway self-learning.
|-
|Autonomous engine revving at red lights
|Mimicking the human practice. This is often done by human drivers who wish to draw attention to their car and then speed off as quickly as possible once the light turns green, but is regarded by most as being a nuisance. As such, this is an unlikely goal for self-driving cars to achieve.
|-
|Self-loathing cars
|This would require cars to become sentient enough to understand, and have negative opinions about, themselves. Depending on one's definition, though, self-diagnostic software might qualify, as they would be running on a car's computer and express a negative opinion about the car (albeit limited to the context of the car needing maintenance).
|-
|Autonomous canyon jumping
|Although it seems unlikely that a navigation routine would ever decide that jumping a canyon is part of an optimal route, a car could be programmed to jump a canyon as part of a stunt or show, with no human driver (or any other human aboard) at the time of the jump. It is questionable how "autonomous" such a car would be, though. Could also be a reference to the next point, with another popular setting in below mentioned discussions: "should a self-driving car leave the road and drive into a canyon, which will kill the driver (and passengers?), or stay on the road and kill others?". Possibly a reference to [https://electrek.co/2017/04/19/tesla-model-s-crash-cliff-save-life/ when a Tesla was driven off a cliff] and the driver and his passenger survived without injury. Could also be a reference to the previous point where the car develops enough self loathing to want to commit suicide.
|-
|Cars capable of arguing about the trolley problem on {{w|Facebook}}
|The {{w|Trolley problem}} is a well-known thought experiment in ethics, in which a person must choose between passively allowing several people to die, or actively causing a single person to die. Such a choice could plausibly be forced on the computer of self-driving car. For example, if the car could avoid a high-speed collision only by running down a pedestrian. It is most likely that this point is meant to make fun of people debating about self-driving cars and what happens if such a situation were to occur, when in reality, the likelihood of such an event happening is extremely low when compared to a normal person driving the vehicle.
|-
|Evaluating arbitrarily complex Boolean expressions on "honk if [...]" bumper stickers and responding accordingly (title text)
|As with the cut-off milestone, this implies development of artificial intelligence unrelated to the basic functions of a car, though still imitating human drivers' behavior. This a joke is a reference to [[1033| a previous comic about honking and formal logic]].
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:Upcoming and recently-achieved
:'''Self-driving car milestones'''

:* Automatic emergency braking
:* Highway lane-keeping
:* Self-parking
:* Full highway autonomy
:* First sex in a self-driving car
:* Full trips with no input from driver
:* Full trips by empty cars
:* An empty car wandering the highways for months or years until someone notices the credit card fuel charges
:* Cars that read other cars' bumper stickers before deciding whether to cut them off
:* Autonomous engine revving at red lights
:* Self-loathing cars
:* Autonomous canyon jumping
:* Cars capable of arguing about the trolley problem on Facebook

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Self-driving cars]]

1925: Self-Driving Car Milestones

2017-12-07T13:36:23Z

141.101.104.239: Amended false claim that computers don't panic

{{comic
| number = 1925
| date = December 6, 2017
| title = Self-Driving Car Milestones
| image = self_driving_car_milestones.png
| titletext = I'm working on a car capable of evaluating arbitrarily complex boolean expressions on "honk if [...]" bumper stickers and responding accordingly.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Added a bit more to the explanation and a table. Please add more.}}

With the creation of self driving cars, many new milestones are being found and / or solved thanks to them. Some are good, and some are downright weird. This comic explains some that have already been achieved, some that that are being worked on, and some that are facetious "milestones".

{| class="wikitable"
|+Milestones
|-
|Automatic emergency brakes
|This is another reference to how hard it can be to program human-obvious stuff (like in [[1425: Tasks]]). A self driving car has to be able to distinguish a danger (cliff, person on foot/cycle/etc., other cars coming the wrong way/doing weird stuff) from either the side of the road, the background, the other cars or even a light pole safely standing on the side of the road. Then the car also has to decide the optimal response, taking into account weather conditions, road type and traffic - whether to turn aside, just slow down (as danger is not imminent), or actually do the strong brake. There are big potential advantages for self-driving cars, if this problem can be solved: computers don't tend to panic as much as humans, would have faster reaction times, and would have {{w|Autonomous_car#Safety|more reliable judgment}}.
|-
|Highway lane-keeping
|Sometimes, especially on highways where road delimitations might be [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/11/Route_66_2073773569_7b3fae3b91_b.jpg/220px-Route_66_2073773569_7b3fae3b91_b.jpg faint or absent], or when lane markings could have faded away, a self-driving car programmed to pilot based on road markings would have issues holding to the good side of the road. This is a bigger problem on highways than in cities, as cars move faster on highways, so the danger detection mentioned above might not manage to detect danger in time, while braking or avoiding the obstacle needs to be anticipated much more.
|-
|Self-parking
|Already implemented in recent normal cars, this feature is important to remove the car from the road while not in use, and is sometimes considered a difficult maneuver for drivers to master, as it requires a good "feeling" of the car dimensions, as well as of distances and maneuverability of the car. The latter parameters, being easy to compute with radar and back-camera aide, are made rather easy for computers.
|-
|Full highway autonomy
|The ability for a car to drive itself on a highway. As of 2017, there are [http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/infrastructure/a13615577/self-driving-cars-lane-wisconsin/ plans] under consideration to set highway lanes aside for self-driving cars, but this milestone would require such a car to be able to operate on a highway that also has human-driven cars, as well as wildlife, pedestrians, debris, and other such obstacles, should they enter the highway.
|-
|First sex in a self-driving car
|This is not a milestone for the cars themselves, but just the age-old practice of having sex in cars, performed in a car that happens to be self-driving. Whether or not this would happen while the car is in motion (other than that induced by the passengers) or on a public road is not specified, though both are implied. Given the nature of human sexuality, it is possible this has already happened, but there has not been a public documentation of this milestone.
|-
|Full trips with no input from driver
|The main point of self-driving cars, allowing all humans within to act as passengers. As of 2017, self-driving cars require a human to be able to take over just in case, but any such trip where the human never actually took control would qualify for this milestone.
|-
|Full trips by empty cars
|A more complete version of the above, since with no humans present, no human can take control. This could be considered fulfilled by the {{w|DARPA Grand Challenge}}, as the challenges are racing competitions of autonomous cars with no humans on board.
|-
|Self-refueling of empty cars
|This would require either: a robotic fuel station, able to refuel cars with humans inside as well; an ordinary full-service fuel station (that is, one where the station's employee performs the refueling of the car) that happens to service a self-driving car with no humans aboard (which could be arranged as a publicity stunt); a specially designed fuel station that would allow self-driving cars to refuel by docking to it (likely to require fine control of the docking procedure that would render it unsuitable for more fallible human-driven cars); or, perhaps least likely, a robotic arm attachment on the car that would allow it to use a normal self-service fuel station.
|-
|An empty car wandering the highways for months or years until someone notices the credit card fuel charges
|The first completely facetious milestone of the list (since "first sex", despite having little to do with self-driving cars, has possibly happened). Cars are expensive enough that, were one to drive itself off and wander, some effort would be made to track it down. As this would require the self-refueling milestone, local fuel stations could be alerted to look for the "rogue" car—and in any case, whatever payment method is used to pay for the fuel would be traced.
|-
|Cars that read other cars' bumper stickers before deciding whether to cut them off
|Another facetious milestone, implying self-driving cars might obtain artificial intelligence and opinions that might override safety and efficiency of transit, so this seems unlikely to actually happen.
|-
|Autonomous engine revving at red lights
|Mimicking the human practice. This is often done by human drivers who wish to draw attention to their car and then speed off as quickly as possible once the light turns green, but is regarded by most as being a nuisance. As such, this is an unlikely goal for self-driving cars to achieve.
|-
|Self-loathing cars
|This would require cars to become sentient enough to understand, and have negative opinions about, themselves. Depending on one's definition, though, self-diagnostic software might qualify, as they would be running on a car's computer and express a negative opinion about the car (albeit limited to the context of the car needing maintenance).
|-
|Autonomous canyon jumping
|Although it seems unlikely that a navigation routine would ever decide that jumping a canyon is part of an optimal route, a car could be programmed to jump a canyon as part of a stunt or show, with no human driver (or any other human aboard) at the time of the jump. It is questionable how "autonomous" such a car would be, though. Could also be a reference to the next point, with another popular setting in below mentioned discussions: "should a self-driving car leave the road and drive into a canyon, which will kill the driver (and passengers?), or stay on the road and kill others?". Possibly a reference to [https://electrek.co/2017/04/19/tesla-model-s-crash-cliff-save-life/ when a Tesla was driven off a cliff] and the driver and his passenger survived without injury. Could also be a reference to the previous point where the car develops enough self loathing to want to commit suicide.
|-
|Cars capable of arguing about the trolley problem on {{w|Facebook}}
|The {{w|Trolley problem}} is a well-known thought experiment in ethics, in which a person must choose between passively allowing several people to die, or actively causing a single person to die. Such a choice could plausibly be forced on the computer of self-driving car. For example, if the car could avoid a high-speed collision only by running down a pedestrian. It is most likely that this point is meant to make fun of people debating about self-driving cars and what happens if such a situation were to occur, when in reality, the likelihood of such an event happening is extremely low when compared to a normal person driving the vehicle.
|-
|Evaluating arbitrarily complex Boolean expressions on "honk if [...]" bumper stickers and responding accordingly (title text)
|As with the cut-off milestone, this implies development of artificial intelligence unrelated to the basic functions of a car, though still imitating human drivers' behavior. This a joke is a reference to [[1033| a previous comic about honking and formal logic]].
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:Upcoming and recently-achieved
:'''Self-driving car milestones'''

:* Automatic emergency braking
:* Highway lane-keeping
:* Self-parking
:* Full highway autonomy
:* First sex in a self-driving car
:* Full trips with no input from driver
:* Full trips by empty cars
:* An empty car wandering the highways for months or years until someone notices the credit card fuel charges
:* Cars that read other cars' bumper stickers before deciding whether to cut them off
:* Autonomous engine revving at red lights
:* Self-loathing cars
:* Autonomous canyon jumping
:* Cars capable of arguing about the trolley problem on Facebook

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Self-driving cars]]

Talk:1925: Self-Driving Car Milestones

2017-12-07T13:24:49Z

141.101.104.239:

This page is, without offense to the creator, a mess. We're gonna need a table for this. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.47.78|172.68.47.78]] 19:14, 6 December 2017 (UTC)
* Or at least a list. I have created one, but it could use fleshing out.[[User:WingedCat|WingedCat]] ([[User talk:WingedCat|talk]]) 19:55, 6 December 2017 (UTC)
::List is fine. You don't need a table for everything - especially if this table had only one or two columns...
: none taken, it's my first time (I only wrote the first three points from a blank page) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.111.61|162.158.111.61]] 09:08, 7 December 2017 (UTC)

I'm going to go with a [citation needed] on that "sex in a self-driving has probably already happened." Are there stats suggesting the amount of coitus per vehicle in the relevant counties?

"This a joke about Boolean satisfiability, as evaluating an arbitrarily complex bumper sticker and determining whether to honk is NP-complete." What? Determining whether to honk has nothing to do with the satisfiability problem; this is more of a joke about getting a computer to evaluate the truth of Boolean expressions that it may have no information about. [[User:Checkmate|Checkmate]] ([[User talk:Checkmate|talk]]) 22:07, 6 December 2017 (UTC)Checkmate

I believe the "Autonomous canyon jumping" is related to the self-loathing; a self-loathing is likely to autonomously jump off a cliff. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.212.179|108.162.212.179]] 22:30, 6 December 2017 (UTC)

"As of 2017, self-driving s require a human to be able to take over just in case, but any such trip where the human never actually took control would qualify for this milestone."
I seems like not all places require a human backup driver: https://www.theverge.com/2017/11/7/16615290/waymo-self-driving-safety-driver-chandler-autonomous [[Special:Contributions/172.69.22.146|172.69.22.146]] 23:19, 6 December 2017 (UTC)

Time to start printing "Honk if this statement evaluates as 'do not honk!'" bumper stickers! [[Special:Contributions/162.158.63.28|162.158.63.28]] 01:24, 7 December 2017 (UTC)

Is this related to the Vsauce Mind Field video about self-driving s and the trolley problem the literally released today, or is it just a weird coincidence?[[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.225|162.158.74.225]] 05:13, 7 December 2017 (UTC)

The likelihood of trolley-like problems is no lower for an autonomous car than a human-driven one, since it depends on external factors. It might be true that if a significant number of the ''other'' cars on the road were replaced with self-driving ones, that would reduce the occurrence of conflicts, and therefore the likelihood and severity of these problems would be lower, but it would be lower for self-driven and human-driven cars alike. The real issue with such debates is that they tend to make a false assumption that existing human drivers are good at solving these problems, when the whole thrust of these thought experiments is to demonstrate that there are no generally accepted solutions to these problems.[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.239|141.101.104.239]] 09:33, 7 December 2017 (UTC)

"Given the nature of human sexuality, it is possible this has already happened, but there has not been a public documentation of this milestone."
Rule 34 applies. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.89.133|162.158.89.133]] 12:44, 7 December 2017 (UTC)

"An empty car wandering the highways" - that doesn't seem so ridiculous; a car costs what, $9000/year? That's like an EC2 instance and not even the biggest one. [[User:Sabik|Sabik]] ([[User talk:Sabik|talk]]) 13:22, 7 December 2017 (UTC)
: Plus you have to factor in the potential for the cost of letting the car wander becoming cheaper than paying for a parking space, in which case it may become a deliberate choice.[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.239|141.101.104.239]] 13:24, 7 December 2017 (UTC)

Talk:1925: Self-Driving Car Milestones

2017-12-07T09:38:34Z

141.101.104.239:

Talk:1925: Self-Driving Car Milestones

2017-12-07T09:37:20Z

141.101.104.239:

This page is, without offense to the creator, a mess. We're gonna need a table for this. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.47.78|172.68.47.78]] 19:14, 6 December 2017 (UTC)
* Or at least a list. I have created one, but it could use fleshing out.[[User:WingedCat|WingedCat]] ([[User talk:WingedCat|talk]]) 19:55, 6 December 2017 (UTC)
::List is fine. You don't need a table for everything - especially if this table had only one or two columns...
: none taken, it's my first time (I only wrote the first three points from a blank page) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.111.61|162.158.111.61]] 09:08, 7 December 2017 (UTC)

I'm going to go with a [citation needed] on that "sex in a self-driving has probably already happened." Are there stats suggesting the amount of coitus per vehicle in the relevant counties?

"This a joke about Boolean satisfiability, as evaluating an arbitrarily complex bumper sticker and determining whether to honk is NP-complete." What? Determining whether to honk has nothing to do with the satisfiability problem; this is more of a joke about getting a computer to evaluate the truth of Boolean expressions that it may have no information about. [[User:Checkmate|Checkmate]] ([[User talk:Checkmate|talk]]) 22:07, 6 December 2017 (UTC)Checkmate

I believe the "Autonomous canyon jumping" is related to the self-loathing; a self-loathing is likely to autonomously jump off a cliff. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.212.179|108.162.212.179]] 22:30, 6 December 2017 (UTC)

"As of 2017, self-driving s require a human to be able to take over just in case, but any such trip where the human never actually took control would qualify for this milestone."
I seems like not all places require a human backup driver: https://www.theverge.com/2017/11/7/16615290/waymo-self-driving-safety-driver-chandler-autonomous [[Special:Contributions/172.69.22.146|172.69.22.146]] 23:19, 6 December 2017 (UTC)
Time to start printing "Honk if this statement evaluates as 'do not honk!'" bumper stickers! [[Special:Contributions/162.158.63.28|162.158.63.28]] 01:24, 7 December 2017 (UTC)

Is this related to the Vsauce Mind Field video about self-driving s and the trolley problem the literally released today, or is it just a weird coincidence?[[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.225|162.158.74.225]] 05:13, 7 December 2017 (UTC)

The likelihood of trolley-like problems is no lower for an autonomous car than a human-driven one, since it depends on external factors. It might be true that if a significant number of the ''other'' cars on the road were replaced with self-driving ones, that would reduce the occurrence of conflicts, and therefore the likelihood and severity of these problems would be lower, but it would be lower for self-driven and human-driven cars alike. The real issue with such debates is that they tend to make a false assumption that existing human drivers are good at solving these problems, when the whole thrust of these thought experiments is to demonstrate that there are no generally accepted solutions to these problems.[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.239|141.101.104.239]] 09:33, 7 December 2017 (UTC)

Talk:1925: Self-Driving Car Milestones

2017-12-07T09:33:12Z

141.101.104.239:

This page is, without offense to the creator, a mess. We're gonna need a table for this. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.47.78|172.68.47.78]] 19:14, 6 December 2017 (UTC)
* Or at least a list. I have created one, but it could use fleshing out.[[User:WingedCat|WingedCat]] ([[User talk:WingedCat|talk]]) 19:55, 6 December 2017 (UTC)
::List is fine. You don't need a table for everything - expecially if this table had only one or two columns...
: none taken, it's my first time (I only wrote the first three points from a blank page) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.111.61|162.158.111.61]] 09:08, 7 December 2017 (UTC)

I'm going to go with a [citation needed] on that "sex in a self-driving has probably already happened." Are there stats suggesting the amount of coitus per vehicle in the relevant counties?

"This a joke about Boolean satisfiability, as evaluating an arbitrarily complex bumper sticker and determining whether to honk is NP-complete." What? Determining whether to honk has nothing to do with the satisfiability problem; this is more of a joke about getting a computer to evaluate the truth of Boolean expressions that it may have no information about. [[User:Checkmate|Checkmate]] ([[User talk:Checkmate|talk]]) 22:07, 6 December 2017 (UTC)Checkmate

I believe the "Autonomous canyon jumping" is related to the self-loathing; a self-loathing is likely to autonomously jump off a cliff. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.212.179|108.162.212.179]] 22:30, 6 December 2017 (UTC)

"As of 2017, self-driving s require a human to be able to take over just in case, but any such trip where the human never actually took control would qualify for this milestone."
I seems like not all places require a human backup driver: https://www.theverge.com/2017/11/7/16615290/waymo-self-driving-safety-driver-chandler-autonomous
[[Special:Contributions/172.69.22.146|172.69.22.146]] 23:19, 6 December 2017 (UTC)
Time to start printing "Honk if this statement evaluates as 'do not honk!'" bumper stickers! [[Special:Contributions/162.158.63.28|162.158.63.28]] 01:24, 7 December 2017 (UTC)

Is this related to the Vsauce Mind Field video about self-driving s and the trolley problem the literally released today, or is it just a weird coincidence?[[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.225|162.158.74.225]] 05:13, 7 December 2017 (UTC)

The likelihood of trolley-like problems is no lower for an autonomous car than a human-driven one, since it depends on external factors. It might be true that if a significant number of the ''other'' cars on the road were replaced with self-driving ones, that would reduce the occurrence of conflicts, and therefore the likelihood and severity of these problems would be lower, but it would be lower for self-driven and human-driven cars alike. The real issue with such debates is that they tend to make a false assumption that existing human drivers are good at solving these problems, when the whole thrust of these thought experiments is to demonstrate that there are no generally accepted solutions to these problems.[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.239|141.101.104.239]] 09:33, 7 December 2017 (UTC)

1925: Self-Driving Car Milestones

2017-12-07T09:14:34Z

141.101.104.239: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1925
| date = December 6, 2017
| title = Self-Driving Car Milestones
| image = self_driving_car_milestones.png
| titletext = I'm working on a car capable of evaluating arbitrarily complex boolean expressions on "honk if [...]" bumper stickers and responding accordingly.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT DRIVER - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is a list of milestones for self-driving cars. Some have already been achieved, others are still being worked on, while others are facetious "milestones".

* Automatic emergency brakes: this is another reference to how hard it can be to program human-obvious stuff (like in [[1425: Tasks]]). A self driving car has to be able to distinguish a danger (cliff, person on foot/cycle/etc., other cars coming the wrong way/doing weird stuff) from either the side of the road, the background, the other cars or even a light pole safely standing on the side of the road. Then the car also has to decide the optimal response, taking into account weather conditions, road type and traffic - whether to turn aside, just slow down (as danger is not imminent), or actually do the strong brake. There are big potential advantages for self-driving cars, if this problem can be solved: computers don't panic, would have faster reaction times than humans, and would have {{w|Autonomous_car#Safety|more reliable judgment than humans}}.

* Highway lane-keeping: sometimes, especially on highways where road delimitations might be [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/11/Route_66_2073773569_7b3fae3b91_b.jpg/220px-Route_66_2073773569_7b3fae3b91_b.jpg faint or absent], or when lane markings could have faded away, a self-driving car programmed to pilot based on road markings would have issues holding to the good side of the road. This is a bigger problem on highways than in cities, as cars move faster on highways, so the danger detection mentioned above might not manage to detect danger in time, while braking or avoiding the obstacle needs to be anticipated much more.

* Self-parking: already implemented in recent normal cars, this feature is important to remove the car from the road while not in use, and is sometimes considered a difficult maneuver for drivers to master, as it requires a good "feeling" of the car dimensions, as well as of distances and maneuverability of the car. The latter parameters, being easy to compute with radar and back-camera aide, are made rather easy for computers.

* Full highway autonomy: the ability for a car to drive itself on a highway. As of 2017, there are [http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/infrastructure/a13615577/self-driving-cars-lane-wisconsin/ plans] under consideration to set highway lanes aside for self-driving cars, but this milestone would require such a car to be able to operate on a highway that also has human-driven cars, as well as wildlife, pedestrians, debris, and other such obstacles, should they enter the highway.

* First sex in a self-driving car: this is not a milestone for the cars themselves, but just the age-old practice of having sex in cars, performed in a car that happens to be self-driving. Whether or not this would happen while the car is in motion (other than that induced by the passengers) or on a public road is not specified, though both are implied. Given the nature of human sexuality, it is possible this has already happened, but there has not been a public documentation of this milestone.

* Full trips with no input from driver: the main point of self-driving cars, allowing all humans within to act as passengers. As of 2017, self-driving cars require a human to be able to take over just in case, but any such trip where the human never actually took control would qualify for this milestone.

* Full trips by empty cars: a more complete version of the above, since with no humans present, no human can take control. This could be considered fulfilled by the {{w|DARPA Grand Challenge}}, as the challenges are racing competitions of autonomous cars with no humans on board.

* Self-refueling of empty cars: this would require either: a robotic fuel station, able to refuel cars with humans inside as well; an ordinary full-service fuel station (that is, one where the station's employee performs the refueling of the car) that happens to service a self-driving car with no humans aboard (which could be arranged as a publicity stunt); a specially designed fuel station that would allow self-driving cars to refuel by docking to it (likely to require fine control of the docking procedure that would render it unsuitable for more fallible human-driven cars); or, perhaps least likely, a robotic arm attachment on the car that would allow it to use a normal self-service fuel station.

* An empty car wandering the highways for months or years until someone notices the credit card fuel charges: the first completely facetious milestone of the list (since "first sex", despite having little to do with self-driving cars, has possibly happened). Cars are expensive enough that, were one to drive itself off and wander, some effort would be made to track it down. As this would require the self-refueling milestone, local fuel stations could be alerted to look for the "rogue" car—and in any case, whatever payment method is used to pay for the fuel would be traced.

* Cars that read other cars' bumper stickers before deciding whether to cut them off: another facetious milestone, implying self-driving cars might obtain artificial intelligence and opinions that might override safety and efficiency of transit, so this seems unlikely to actually happen.

* Autonomous engine revving at red lights: mimicking the human practice. This is often done by human drivers who wish to draw attention to their car and then speed off as quickly as possible once the light turns green, but is regarded by most as being a nuisance. As such, this is an unlikely goal for self-driving cars to achieve.

* Self-loathing cars: this would require cars to become sentient enough to understand, and have negative opinions about, themselves. Depending on one's definition, though, self-diagnostic software might qualify, as they would be running on a car's computer and express a negative opinion about the car (albeit limited to the context of the car needing maintenance).

* Autonomous canyon jumping: although it seems unlikely that a navigation routine would ever decide that jumping a canyon is part of an optimal route, a car could be programmed to jump a canyon as part of a stunt or show, with no human driver (or any other human aboard) at the time of the jump. It is questionable how "autonomous" such a car would be, though. Could also be a reference to the next point, with another popular setting in below mentioned discussions: "should a self-driving car leave the road and drive into a canyon, which will kill the driver (and passengers?), or stay on the road and kill others?". Possibly a reference to [https://electrek.co/2017/04/19/tesla-model-s-crash-cliff-save-life/ when a Tesla was driven off a cliff] and the driver and his passenger survived without injury.

* Cars capable of arguing about the trolley problem on {{w|Facebook}}: the {{w|Trolley problem}} is a well-known thought experiment in ethics, in which a person must choose between passively allowing several people to die, or actively causing a single person to die. Such a choice could plausibly be forced on the computer of self-driving car. For example, if the car could avoid a high-speed collision only by running down a pedestrian. It is most likely that this point is meant to make fun of people debating about self-driving cars and what happens if such a situation were to occur, when in reality, the likelihood of such an event happening is extremely low when compared to a normal person driving the vehicle.

* Evaluating arbitrarily complex Boolean expressions on "honk if [...]" bumper stickers and responding accordingly (title text): as with the cut-off milestone, this implies development of artificial intelligence unrelated to the basic functions of a car, though still imitating human drivers' behavior. This a joke is a reference to [[1033| a previous comic about honking and formal logic]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:Upcoming and recently-achieved
:'''Self-driving car milestones'''

:* Automatic emergency braking
:* Highway lane-keeping
:* Self-parking
:* Full highway autonomy
:* First sex in a self-driving car
:* Full trips with no input from driver
:* Full trips by empty cars
:* An empty car wandering the highways for months or years until someone notices the credit card fuel charges
:* Cars that read other cars' bumper stickers before deciding whether to cut them off
:* Autonomous engine revving at red lights
:* Self-loathing cars
:* Autonomous canyon jumping
:* Cars capable of arguing about the trolley problem on Facebook

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Self-driving cars]]

1925: Self-Driving Car Milestones

2017-12-07T09:09:26Z

141.101.104.239: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1925
| date = December 6, 2017
| title = Self-Driving Car Milestones
| image = self_driving_car_milestones.png
| titletext = I'm working on a car capable of evaluating arbitrarily complex boolean expressions on "honk if [...]" bumper stickers and responding accordingly.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT DRIVER - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is a list of milestones for self-driving cars. Some have already been achieved, others are still being worked on, while others are facetious "milestones".

* Automatic emergency brakes: this is another reference to how hard it can be to program human-obvious stuff (like in [[1425: Tasks]]). A self driving car has to be able to distinguish a danger (cliff, person on foot/cycle/etc., other cars coming the wrong way/doing weird stuff) from either the side of the road, the background, the other cars or even a light pole safely standing on the side of the road. Then the car also has to decide the optimal response, taking into account weather conditions, road type and traffic - whether to turn aside, just slow down (as danger is not imminent), or actually do the strong brake. There are big potential advantages for self-driving cars, if this problem can be solved: computers don't panic, would have faster reaction times than humans, and would have {{w|Autonomous_car#Safety|more reliable judgment than humans}}.

* Highway lane-keeping: sometimes, especially on highways where road delimitations might be [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/11/Route_66_2073773569_7b3fae3b91_b.jpg/220px-Route_66_2073773569_7b3fae3b91_b.jpg faint or absent], or when lane markings could have faded away, a self-driving car programmed to pilot based on road markings would have issues holding to the good side of the road. This is a bigger problem on highways than in cities, as cars move faster on highways, so the danger detection mentioned above might not manage to detect danger in time, while braking or avoiding the obstacle needs to be anticipated much more.

* Self-parking: already implemented in recent normal cars, this feature is important to remove the car from the road while not in use, and is sometimes considered a difficult maneuver for drivers to master, as it requires a good "feeling" of the car dimensions, as well as of distances and maneuverability of the car. The latter parameters, being easy to compute with radar and back-camera aide, are made rather easy for computers.

* Full highway autonomy: the ability for a car to drive itself on a highway. As of 2017, there are [http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/infrastructure/a13615577/self-driving-cars-lane-wisconsin/ plans] under consideration to set highway lanes aside for self-driving cars, but this milestone would require such a car to be able to operate on a highway that also has human-driven cars, as well as wildlife, pedestrians, debris, and other such obstacles, should they enter the highway.

* First sex in a self-driving car: this is not a milestone for the cars themselves, but just the age-old practice of having sex in cars, performed in a car that happens to be self-driving. Whether or not this would happen while the car is in motion (other than that induced by the passengers) or on a public road is not specified, though both are implied. Given the nature of human sexuality, it is possible this has already happened, but there has not been a public documentation of this milestone.

* Full trips with no input from driver: the main point of self-driving cars, allowing all humans within to act as passengers. As of 2017, self-driving cars require a human to be able to take over just in case, but any such trip where the human never actually took control would qualify for this milestone.

* Full trips by empty cars: a more complete version of the above, since with no humans present, no human can take control. This could be considered fulfilled by the {{w|DARPA Grand Challenge}}, as the challenges are racing competitions of autonomous cars with no humans on board.

* Self-refueling of empty cars: this would either require a robotic fuel station (thus, able to refuel cars with humans inside as well), or an ordinary full-service fuel station (that is, one where the station's employee performs the refueling of the car) that happens to service a self-driving car with no humans aboard (which could be arranged as a publicity stunt).

* An empty car wandering the highways for months or years until someone notices the credit card fuel charges: the first completely facetious milestone of the list (since "first sex", despite having little to do with self-driving cars, has possibly happened). Cars are expensive enough that, were one to drive itself off and wander, some effort would be made to track it down. As this would require the self-refueling milestone, local fuel stations could be alerted to look for the "rogue" car—and in any case, whatever payment method is used to pay for the fuel would be traced.

* Cars that read other cars' bumper stickers before deciding whether to cut them off: another facetious milestone, implying self-driving cars might obtain artificial intelligence and opinions that might override safety and efficiency of transit, so this seems unlikely to actually happen.

* Autonomous engine revving at red lights: mimicking the human practice. This is often done by human drivers who wish to draw attention to their car and then speed off as quickly as possible once the light turns green, but is regarded by most as being a nuisance. As such, this is an unlikely goal for self-driving cars to achieve.

* Self-loathing cars: this would require cars to become sentient enough to understand, and have negative opinions about, themselves. Depending on one's definition, though, self-diagnostic software might qualify, as they would be running on a car's computer and express a negative opinion about the car (albeit limited to the context of the car needing maintenance).

* Autonomous canyon jumping: although it seems unlikely that a navigation routine would ever decide that jumping a canyon is part of an optimal route, a car could be programmed to jump a canyon as part of a stunt or show, with no human driver (or any other human aboard) at the time of the jump. It is questionable how "autonomous" such a car would be, though. Could also be a reference to the next point, with another popular setting in below mentioned discussions: "should a self-driving car leave the road and drive into a canyon, which will kill the driver (and passengers?), or stay on the road and kill others?". Possibly a reference to [https://electrek.co/2017/04/19/tesla-model-s-crash-cliff-save-life/ when a Tesla was driven off a cliff] and the driver and his passenger survived without injury.

* Cars capable of arguing about the trolley problem on {{w|Facebook}}: the {{w|Trolley problem}} is a well-known thought experiment in ethics, in which a person must choose between passively allowing several people to die, or actively causing a single person to die. Such a choice could plausibly be forced on the computer of self-driving car. For example, if the car could avoid a high-speed collision only by running down a pedestrian. It is most likely that this point is meant to make fun of people debating about self-driving cars and what happens if such a situation were to occur, when in reality, the likelihood of such an event happening is extremely low when compared to a normal person driving the vehicle.

* Evaluating arbitrarily complex Boolean expressions on "honk if [...]" bumper stickers and responding accordingly (title text): as with the cut-off milestone, this implies development of artificial intelligence unrelated to the basic functions of a car, though still imitating human drivers' behavior. This a joke is a reference to [[1033| a previous comic about honking and formal logic]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:Upcoming and recently-achieved
:'''Self-driving car milestones'''

:* Automatic emergency braking
:* Highway lane-keeping
:* Self-parking
:* Full highway autonomy
:* First sex in a self-driving car
:* Full trips with no input from driver
:* Full trips by empty cars
:* An empty car wandering the highways for months or years until someone notices the credit card fuel charges
:* Cars that read other cars' bumper stickers before deciding whether to cut them off
:* Autonomous engine revving at red lights
:* Self-loathing cars
:* Autonomous canyon jumping
:* Cars capable of arguing about the trolley problem on Facebook

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Self-driving cars]]

1925: Self-Driving Car Milestones

2017-12-07T09:07:55Z

141.101.104.239: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1925
| date = December 6, 2017
| title = Self-Driving Car Milestones
| image = self_driving_car_milestones.png
| titletext = I'm working on a car capable of evaluating arbitrarily complex boolean expressions on "honk if [...]" bumper stickers and responding accordingly.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT DRIVER - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is a list of milestones for self-driving cars. Some have already been achieved, others are still being worked on, while others are facetious "milestones".

* Automatic emergency brakes: this is another reference to how hard it can be to program human-obvious stuff (like in [[1425: Tasks]]). A self driving car has to be able to distinguish a danger (cliff, person on foot/cycle/etc., other cars coming the wrong way/doing weird stuff) from either the side of the road, the background, the other cars or even a light pole safely standing on the side of the road. Then the car also has to decide the optimal response, taking into account weather conditions, road type and traffic - whether to turn aside, just slow down (as danger is not imminent), or actually do the strong brake. There are big potential advantages for self-driving cars, if this problem can be solved: computers don't panic, would have faster reaction times than humans, and would have {{w|Autonomous_car#Safety|more reliable judgment than humans}}.

* Highway lane-keeping: sometimes, especially on highways where road delimitations might be [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/11/Route_66_2073773569_7b3fae3b91_b.jpg/220px-Route_66_2073773569_7b3fae3b91_b.jpg faint or absent], or when lane markings could have faded away, a self-driving car programmed to pilot based on road markings would have issues holding to the good side of the road. This is a bigger problem on highways than in cities, as cars move faster on highways, so the danger detection mentioned above might not manage to detect danger in time, while braking or avoiding the obstacle needs to be anticipated much more.

* Self-parking: already implemented in recent normal cars, this feature is important to remove the car from the road while not in use, and is sometimes considered a difficult maneuver for drivers to master, as it requires a good "feeling" of the car dimensions, as well as of distances and maneuverability of the car. The latter parameters, being easy to compute with radar and back-camera aide, are made rather easy for computers.

* Full highway autonomy: the ability for a car to drive itself on a highway. As of 2017, there are [http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/infrastructure/a13615577/self-driving-cars-lane-wisconsin/ plans] under consideration to set highway lanes aside for self-driving cars, but this milestone would require such a car to be able to operate on a highway that also has human-driven cars, as well as wildlife, pedestrians, debris, and other such obstacles, should they enter the highway.

* First sex in a self-driving car: this is not a milestone for the cars themselves, but just the age-old practice of having sex in cars, performed in a car that happens to be self-driving. Whether or not this would happen while the car is in motion (other than that induced by the passengers) or on a public road is not specified, though both are implied. Given the nature of human sexuality, it is possible this has already happened, but there has not been a public documentation of this milestone.

* Full trips with no input from driver: the main point of self-driving cars, allowing all humans within to act as passengers. As of 2017, self-driving cars require a human to be able to take over just in case, but any such trip where the human never actually took control would qualify for this milestone.

* Full trips by empty cars: a more severe version of the above, since with no humans present, no human can take control. This could be considered fulfilled by the {{w|DARPA Grand Challenge}}, as the challenges are racing competitions of autonomous cars with no humans on board.

* Self-refueling of empty cars: this would either require a robotic fuel station (thus, able to refuel cars with humans inside as well), or an ordinary full-service fuel station (that is, one where the station's employee performs the refueling of the car) that happens to service a self-driving car with no humans aboard (which could be arranged as a publicity stunt).

* An empty car wandering the highways for months or years until someone notices the credit card fuel charges: the first completely facetious milestone of the list (since "first sex", despite having little to do with self-driving cars, has possibly happened). Cars are expensive enough that, were one to drive itself off and wander, some effort would be made to track it down. As this would require the self-refueling milestone, local fuel stations could be alerted to look for the "rogue" car—and in any case, whatever payment method is used to pay for the fuel would be traced.

* Cars that read other cars' bumper stickers before deciding whether to cut them off: another facetious milestone, implying self-driving cars might obtain artificial intelligence and opinions that might override safety and efficiency of transit, so this seems unlikely to actually happen.

* Autonomous engine revving at red lights: mimicking the human practice. This is often done by human drivers who wish to draw attention to their car and then speed off as quickly as possible once the light turns green, but is regarded by most as being a nuisance. As such, this is an unlikely goal for self-driving cars to achieve.

* Self-loathing cars: this would require cars to become sentient enough to understand, and have negative opinions about, themselves. Depending on one's definition, though, self-diagnostic software might qualify, as they would be running on a car's computer and express a negative opinion about the car (albeit limited to the context of the car needing maintenance).

* Autonomous canyon jumping: although it seems unlikely that a navigation routine would ever decide that jumping a canyon is part of an optimal route, a car could be programmed to jump a canyon as part of a stunt or show, with no human driver (or any other human aboard) at the time of the jump. It is questionable how "autonomous" such a car would be, though. Could also be a reference to the next point, with another popular setting in below mentioned discussions: "should a self-driving car leave the road and drive into a canyon, which will kill the driver (and passengers?), or stay on the road and kill others?". Possibly a reference to [https://electrek.co/2017/04/19/tesla-model-s-crash-cliff-save-life/ when a Tesla was driven off a cliff] and the driver and his passenger survived without injury.

* Cars capable of arguing about the trolley problem on {{w|Facebook}}: the {{w|Trolley problem}} is a well-known thought experiment in ethics, in which a person must choose between passively allowing several people to die, or actively causing a single person to die. Such a choice could plausibly be forced on the computer of self-driving car. For example, if the car could avoid a high-speed collision only by running down a pedestrian. It is most likely that this point is meant to make fun of people debating about self-driving cars and what happens if such a situation were to occur, when in reality, the likelihood of such an event happening is extremely low when compared to a normal person driving the vehicle.

* Evaluating arbitrarily complex Boolean expressions on "honk if [...]" bumper stickers and responding accordingly (title text): as with the cut-off milestone, this implies development of artificial intelligence unrelated to the basic functions of a car, though still imitating human drivers' behavior. This a joke is a reference to [[1033| a previous comic about honking and formal logic]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:Upcoming and recently-achieved
:'''Self-driving car milestones'''

:* Automatic emergency braking
:* Highway lane-keeping
:* Self-parking
:* Full highway autonomy
:* First sex in a self-driving car
:* Full trips with no input from driver
:* Full trips by empty cars
:* An empty car wandering the highways for months or years until someone notices the credit card fuel charges
:* Cars that read other cars' bumper stickers before deciding whether to cut them off
:* Autonomous engine revving at red lights
:* Self-loathing cars
:* Autonomous canyon jumping
:* Cars capable of arguing about the trolley problem on Facebook

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Self-driving cars]]

1925: Self-Driving Car Milestones

2017-12-07T09:07:01Z

141.101.104.239: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1925
| date = December 6, 2017
| title = Self-Driving Car Milestones
| image = self_driving_car_milestones.png
| titletext = I'm working on a car capable of evaluating arbitrarily complex boolean expressions on "honk if [...]" bumper stickers and responding accordingly.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT DRIVER - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is a list of milestones for self-driving cars. Some have already been achieved, others are still being worked on, while others are facetious "milestones".

* Automatic emergency brakes: this is another reference to how hard it can be to program human-obvious stuff (like in [[1425: Tasks]]). A self driving car has to be able to distinguish a danger (cliff, person on foot/cycle/etc., other cars coming the wrong way/doing weird stuff) from either the side of the road, the background, the other cars or even a light pole safely standing on the side of the road. Then the car also has to decide the optimal response, taking into account weather conditions, road type and traffic - whether to turn aside, just slow down (as danger is not imminent), or actually do the strong brake. There are big potential advantages for self-driving cars, if this problem can be solved: computers don't panic, would have faster reaction times than humans, and would have {{w|Autonomous_car#Safety|more reliable judgment than humans}}.

* Highway lane-keeping: sometimes, especially on highways where road delimitations might be [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/11/Route_66_2073773569_7b3fae3b91_b.jpg/220px-Route_66_2073773569_7b3fae3b91_b.jpg faint or absent], or when lane markings could have faded away, a self-driving car programmed to pilot based on road markings would have issues holding to the good side of the road. This is a bigger problem on highways than in cities, as cars move faster on highways, so the danger detection mentioned above might not manage to detect danger in time, while braking or avoiding the obstacle needs to be anticipated much more.

* Self-parking: already implemented in recent normal cars, this feature is important to remove the car from the road while not in use, and is sometimes considered a difficult maneuver for drivers to master, as it requires a good "feeling" of the car dimensions, as well as of distances and maneuverability of the car. The latter parameters, being easy to compute with radar and back-camera aide, are made rather easy for computers.

* Full highway autonomy: the ability for a car to drive itself on a highway. As of 2017, there are [http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/infrastructure/a13615577/self-driving-cars-lane-wisconsin/ plans] under consideration to set highway lanes aside for self-driving cars, but this milestone would require such a car to be able to operate on a highway that also has human-driven cars—as well as wildlife, pedestrians, debris, and other such obstacles should they enter the highway.

* First sex in a self-driving car: this is not a milestone for the cars themselves, but just the age-old practice of having sex in cars, performed in a car that happens to be self-driving. Whether or not this would happen while the car is in motion (other than that induced by the passengers) or on a public road is not specified, though both are implied. Given the nature of human sexuality, it is possible this has already happened, but there has not been a public documentation of this milestone.

* Full trips with no input from driver: the main point of self-driving cars, allowing all humans within to act as passengers. As of 2017, self-driving cars require a human to be able to take over just in case, but any such trip where the human never actually took control would qualify for this milestone.

* Full trips by empty cars: a more severe version of the above, since with no humans present, no human can take control. This could be considered fulfilled by the {{w|DARPA Grand Challenge}}, as the challenges are racing competitions of autonomous cars with no humans on board.

* Self-refueling of empty cars: this would either require a robotic fuel station (thus, able to refuel cars with humans inside as well), or an ordinary full-service fuel station (that is, one where the station's employee performs the refueling of the car) that happens to service a self-driving car with no humans aboard (which could be arranged as a publicity stunt).

* An empty car wandering the highways for months or years until someone notices the credit card fuel charges: the first completely facetious milestone of the list (since "first sex", despite having little to do with self-driving cars, has possibly happened). Cars are expensive enough that, were one to drive itself off and wander, some effort would be made to track it down. As this would require the self-refueling milestone, local fuel stations could be alerted to look for the "rogue" car—and in any case, whatever payment method is used to pay for the fuel would be traced.

* Cars that read other cars' bumper stickers before deciding whether to cut them off: another facetious milestone, implying self-driving cars might obtain artificial intelligence and opinions that might override safety and efficiency of transit, so this seems unlikely to actually happen.

* Autonomous engine revving at red lights: mimicking the human practice. This is often done by human drivers who wish to draw attention to their car and then speed off as quickly as possible once the light turns green, but is regarded by most as being a nuisance. As such, this is an unlikely goal for self-driving cars to achieve.

* Self-loathing cars: this would require cars to become sentient enough to understand, and have negative opinions about, themselves. Depending on one's definition, though, self-diagnostic software might qualify, as they would be running on a car's computer and express a negative opinion about the car (albeit limited to the context of the car needing maintenance).

* Autonomous canyon jumping: although it seems unlikely that a navigation routine would ever decide that jumping a canyon is part of an optimal route, a car could be programmed to jump a canyon as part of a stunt or show, with no human driver (or any other human aboard) at the time of the jump. It is questionable how "autonomous" such a car would be, though. Could also be a reference to the next point, with another popular setting in below mentioned discussions: "should a self-driving car leave the road and drive into a canyon, which will kill the driver (and passengers?), or stay on the road and kill others?". Possibly a reference to [https://electrek.co/2017/04/19/tesla-model-s-crash-cliff-save-life/ when a Tesla was driven off a cliff] and the driver and his passenger survived without injury.

* Cars capable of arguing about the trolley problem on {{w|Facebook}}: the {{w|Trolley problem}} is a well-known thought experiment in ethics, in which a person must choose between passively allowing several people to die, or actively causing a single person to die. Such a choice could plausibly be forced on the computer of self-driving car. For example, if the car could avoid a high-speed collision only by running down a pedestrian. It is most likely that this point is meant to make fun of people debating about self-driving cars and what happens if such a situation were to occur, when in reality, the likelihood of such an event happening is extremely low when compared to a normal person driving the vehicle.

* Evaluating arbitrarily complex Boolean expressions on "honk if [...]" bumper stickers and responding accordingly (title text): as with the cut-off milestone, this implies development of artificial intelligence unrelated to the basic functions of a car, though still imitating human drivers' behavior. This a joke is a reference to [[1033| a previous comic about honking and formal logic]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:Upcoming and recently-achieved
:'''Self-driving car milestones'''

:* Automatic emergency braking
:* Highway lane-keeping
:* Self-parking
:* Full highway autonomy
:* First sex in a self-driving car
:* Full trips with no input from driver
:* Full trips by empty cars
:* An empty car wandering the highways for months or years until someone notices the credit card fuel charges
:* Cars that read other cars' bumper stickers before deciding whether to cut them off
:* Autonomous engine revving at red lights
:* Self-loathing cars
:* Autonomous canyon jumping
:* Cars capable of arguing about the trolley problem on Facebook

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Self-driving cars]]

1925: Self-Driving Car Milestones

2017-12-07T09:05:11Z

141.101.104.239: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1925
| date = December 6, 2017
| title = Self-Driving Car Milestones
| image = self_driving_car_milestones.png
| titletext = I'm working on a car capable of evaluating arbitrarily complex boolean expressions on "honk if [...]" bumper stickers and responding accordingly.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT DRIVER - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is a list of milestones for self-driving cars. Some have already been achieved, others are still being worked on, while others are facetious "milestones".

* Automatic emergency brakes: this is another reference to how hard it can be to program human-obvious stuff (like in [[1425: Tasks]]). A self driving car has to be able to distinguish a danger (cliff, person on foot/cycle/etc., other cars coming the wrong way/doing weird stuff) from either the side of the road, the background, the other cars or even a light pole safely standing on the side of the road. Then the car also has to decide the optimal response, taking into account weather conditions, road type and traffic - whether to turn aside, just slow down (as danger is not imminent), or actually do the strong brake. There are big potential advantages for self-driving cars, if this problem can be solved: computers don't panic, would have faster reaction times than humans, and would have {{w|Autonomous_car#Safety|more reliable judgment than humans}}.

* Highway lane-keeping: sometimes, especially on highways where road delimitations might be [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/11/Route_66_2073773569_7b3fae3b91_b.jpg/220px-Route_66_2073773569_7b3fae3b91_b.jpg faint or absent], or when lane markings could have faded away, a self-driving car programmed to pilot based on road markings would have issues holding to the good side of the road. This is a bigger problem on highways than in cities, as cars move faster on highways, so the danger detection mentioned above might not manage to detect danger in time, while braking or avoiding the obstacle needs to be anticipated much more.

* Self-parking: already implemented in recent normal cars, that feature is important for the car not to stay in the road after use, and is sometimes considered as a difficult maneuver by to-be-drivers as it requires a good "feeling" of the car dimensions, as well as of distances and maneuverability of the car. (the latter parameters being easy to compute, with radar and back-camera aide, is made rather easy for computers)

* Full highway autonomy: the ability for a car to drive itself on a highway. As of 2017, there are [http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/infrastructure/a13615577/self-driving-cars-lane-wisconsin/ plans] under consideration to set highway lanes aside for self-driving cars, but this milestone would require such a car to be able to operate on a highway that also has human-driven cars—as well as wildlife, pedestrians, debris, and other such obstacles should they enter the highway.

* First sex in a self-driving car: this is not a milestone for the cars themselves, but just the age-old practice of having sex in cars, performed in a car that happens to be self-driving. Whether or not this would happen while the car is in motion (other than that induced by the passengers) or on a public road is not specified, though both are implied. Given the nature of human sexuality, it is possible this has already happened, but there has not been a public documentation of this milestone.

* Full trips with no input from driver: the main point of self-driving cars, allowing all humans within to act as passengers. As of 2017, self-driving cars require a human to be able to take over just in case, but any such trip where the human never actually took control would qualify for this milestone.

* Full trips by empty cars: a more severe version of the above, since with no humans present, no human can take control. This could be considered fulfilled by the {{w|DARPA Grand Challenge}}, as the challenges are racing competitions of autonomous cars with no humans on board.

* Self-refueling of empty cars: this would either require a robotic fuel station (thus, able to refuel cars with humans inside as well), or an ordinary full-service fuel station (that is, one where the station's employee performs the refueling of the car) that happens to service a self-driving car with no humans aboard (which could be arranged as a publicity stunt).

* An empty car wandering the highways for months or years until someone notices the credit card fuel charges: the first completely facetious milestone of the list (since "first sex", despite having little to do with self-driving cars, has possibly happened). Cars are expensive enough that, were one to drive itself off and wander, some effort would be made to track it down. As this would require the self-refueling milestone, local fuel stations could be alerted to look for the "rogue" car—and in any case, whatever payment method is used to pay for the fuel would be traced.

* Cars that read other cars' bumper stickers before deciding whether to cut them off: another facetious milestone, implying self-driving cars might obtain artificial intelligence and opinions that might override safety and efficiency of transit, so this seems unlikely to actually happen.

* Autonomous engine revving at red lights: mimicking the human practice. This is often done by human drivers who wish to draw attention to their car and then speed off as quickly as possible once the light turns green, but is regarded by most as being a nuisance. As such, this is an unlikely goal for self-driving cars to achieve.

* Self-loathing cars: this would require cars to become sentient enough to understand, and have negative opinions about, themselves. Depending on one's definition, though, self-diagnostic software might qualify, as they would be running on a car's computer and express a negative opinion about the car (albeit limited to the context of the car needing maintenance).

* Autonomous canyon jumping: although it seems unlikely that a navigation routine would ever decide that jumping a canyon is part of an optimal route, a car could be programmed to jump a canyon as part of a stunt or show, with no human driver (or any other human aboard) at the time of the jump. It is questionable how "autonomous" such a car would be, though. Could also be a reference to the next point, with another popular setting in below mentioned discussions: "should a self-driving car leave the road and drive into a canyon, which will kill the driver (and passengers?), or stay on the road and kill others?". Possibly a reference to [https://electrek.co/2017/04/19/tesla-model-s-crash-cliff-save-life/ when a Tesla was driven off a cliff] and the driver and his passenger survived without injury.

* Cars capable of arguing about the trolley problem on {{w|Facebook}}: the {{w|Trolley problem}} is a well-known thought experiment in ethics, in which a person must choose between passively allowing several people to die, or actively causing a single person to die. Such a choice could plausibly be forced on the computer of self-driving car. For example, if the car could avoid a high-speed collision only by running down a pedestrian. It is most likely that this point is meant to make fun of people debating about self-driving cars and what happens if such a situation were to occur, when in reality, the likelihood of such an event happening is extremely low when compared to a normal person driving the vehicle.

* Evaluating arbitrarily complex Boolean expressions on "honk if [...]" bumper stickers and responding accordingly (title text): as with the cut-off milestone, this implies development of artificial intelligence unrelated to the basic functions of a car, though still imitating human drivers' behavior. This a joke is a reference to [[1033| a previous comic about honking and formal logic]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:Upcoming and recently-achieved
:'''Self-driving car milestones'''

:* Automatic emergency braking
:* Highway lane-keeping
:* Self-parking
:* Full highway autonomy
:* First sex in a self-driving car
:* Full trips with no input from driver
:* Full trips by empty cars
:* An empty car wandering the highways for months or years until someone notices the credit card fuel charges
:* Cars that read other cars' bumper stickers before deciding whether to cut them off
:* Autonomous engine revving at red lights
:* Self-loathing cars
:* Autonomous canyon jumping
:* Cars capable of arguing about the trolley problem on Facebook

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Self-driving cars]]

1925: Self-Driving Car Milestones

2017-12-07T09:03:15Z

141.101.104.239: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1925
| date = December 6, 2017
| title = Self-Driving Car Milestones
| image = self_driving_car_milestones.png
| titletext = I'm working on a car capable of evaluating arbitrarily complex boolean expressions on "honk if [...]" bumper stickers and responding accordingly.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT DRIVER - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is a list of milestones for self-driving cars. Some have already been achieved, others are still being worked on, while others are facetious "milestones".

* Automatic emergency brakes: this is another reference to how hard it can be to program human-obvious stuff (like in [[1425: Tasks]]). A self driving car has to be able to distinguish a danger (cliff, person on foot/cycle/etc., other cars coming the wrong way/doing weird stuff) from either the side of the road, the background, the other cars or even a light pole safely standing on the side of the road. Then the car also has to decide the optimal response, taking into account weather conditions, road type and traffic - whether to turn aside, just slow down (as danger is not imminent), or actually do the strong brake. There are big potential advantages for self-driving cars, if this problem can be solved: computers don't panic, would have faster reaction times than humans, and would have {{w|Autonomous_car#Safety|more reliable judgment than humans}}.

* Highway lane-keeping: sometimes, especially on highways where road delimitations might be [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/11/Route_66_2073773569_7b3fae3b91_b.jpg/220px-Route_66_2073773569_7b3fae3b91_b.jpg faint or absent] or when lane markings could have faded away, a self driving car programmed to pilot based on road markings would have issues holding to the good side of the road. This is a bigger problem than in cities as cars move faster on highways, so the danger detection mentioned above might not manage to detect danger in time while breaking or avoiding the obstacle needs to be anticipated much more.

* Self-parking: already implemented in recent normal cars, that feature is important for the car not to stay in the road after use, and is sometimes considered as a difficult maneuver by to-be-drivers as it requires a good "feeling" of the car dimensions, as well as of distances and maneuverability of the car. (the latter parameters being easy to compute, with radar and back-camera aide, is made rather easy for computers)

* Full highway autonomy: the ability for a car to drive itself on a highway. As of 2017, there are [http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/infrastructure/a13615577/self-driving-cars-lane-wisconsin/ plans] under consideration to set highway lanes aside for self-driving cars, but this milestone would require such a car to be able to operate on a highway that also has human-driven cars—as well as wildlife, pedestrians, debris, and other such obstacles should they enter the highway.

* First sex in a self-driving car: this is not a milestone for the cars themselves, but just the age-old practice of having sex in cars, performed in a car that happens to be self-driving. Whether or not this would happen while the car is in motion (other than that induced by the passengers) or on a public road is not specified, though both are implied. Given the nature of human sexuality, it is possible this has already happened, but there has not been a public documentation of this milestone.

* Full trips with no input from driver: the main point of self-driving cars, allowing all humans within to act as passengers. As of 2017, self-driving cars require a human to be able to take over just in case, but any such trip where the human never actually took control would qualify for this milestone.

* Full trips by empty cars: a more severe version of the above, since with no humans present, no human can take control. This could be considered fulfilled by the {{w|DARPA Grand Challenge}}, as the challenges are racing competitions of autonomous cars with no humans on board.

* Self-refueling of empty cars: this would either require a robotic fuel station (thus, able to refuel cars with humans inside as well), or an ordinary full-service fuel station (that is, one where the station's employee performs the refueling of the car) that happens to service a self-driving car with no humans aboard (which could be arranged as a publicity stunt).

* An empty car wandering the highways for months or years until someone notices the credit card fuel charges: the first completely facetious milestone of the list (since "first sex", despite having little to do with self-driving cars, has possibly happened). Cars are expensive enough that, were one to drive itself off and wander, some effort would be made to track it down. As this would require the self-refueling milestone, local fuel stations could be alerted to look for the "rogue" car—and in any case, whatever payment method is used to pay for the fuel would be traced.

* Cars that read other cars' bumper stickers before deciding whether to cut them off: another facetious milestone, implying self-driving cars might obtain artificial intelligence and opinions that might override safety and efficiency of transit, so this seems unlikely to actually happen.

* Autonomous engine revving at red lights: mimicking the human practice. This is often done by human drivers who wish to draw attention to their car and then speed off as quickly as possible once the light turns green, but is regarded by most as being a nuisance. As such, this is an unlikely goal for self-driving cars to achieve.

* Self-loathing cars: this would require cars to become sentient enough to understand, and have negative opinions about, themselves. Depending on one's definition, though, self-diagnostic software might qualify, as they would be running on a car's computer and express a negative opinion about the car (albeit limited to the context of the car needing maintenance).

* Autonomous canyon jumping: although it seems unlikely that a navigation routine would ever decide that jumping a canyon is part of an optimal route, a car could be programmed to jump a canyon as part of a stunt or show, with no human driver (or any other human aboard) at the time of the jump. It is questionable how "autonomous" such a car would be, though. Could also be a reference to the next point, with another popular setting in below mentioned discussions: "should a self-driving car leave the road and drive into a canyon, which will kill the driver (and passengers?), or stay on the road and kill others?". Possibly a reference to [https://electrek.co/2017/04/19/tesla-model-s-crash-cliff-save-life/ when a Tesla was driven off a cliff] and the driver and his passenger survived without injury.

* Cars capable of arguing about the trolley problem on {{w|Facebook}}: the {{w|Trolley problem}} is a well-known thought experiment in ethics, in which a person must choose between passively allowing several people to die, or actively causing a single person to die. Such a choice could plausibly be forced on the computer of self-driving car. For example, if the car could avoid a high-speed collision only by running down a pedestrian. It is most likely that this point is meant to make fun of people debating about self-driving cars and what happens if such a situation were to occur, when in reality, the likelihood of such an event happening is extremely low when compared to a normal person driving the vehicle.

* Evaluating arbitrarily complex Boolean expressions on "honk if [...]" bumper stickers and responding accordingly (title text): as with the cut-off milestone, this implies development of artificial intelligence unrelated to the basic functions of a car, though still imitating human drivers' behavior. This a joke is a reference to [[1033| a previous comic about honking and formal logic]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:Upcoming and recently-achieved
:'''Self-driving car milestones'''

:* Automatic emergency braking
:* Highway lane-keeping
:* Self-parking
:* Full highway autonomy
:* First sex in a self-driving car
:* Full trips with no input from driver
:* Full trips by empty cars
:* An empty car wandering the highways for months or years until someone notices the credit card fuel charges
:* Cars that read other cars' bumper stickers before deciding whether to cut them off
:* Autonomous engine revving at red lights
:* Self-loathing cars
:* Autonomous canyon jumping
:* Cars capable of arguing about the trolley problem on Facebook

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Self-driving cars]]

1924: Solar Panels

2017-12-07T08:57:36Z

141.101.104.239: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1924
| date = December 4, 2017
| title = Solar Panels
| image = solar_panels.png
| titletext = This works for a surprising range of sunlit things, including rooftops (sure), highway surfaces (probably not), sailboats (maybe), and jets, cars, and wild deer (haha good luck).
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Seems close to being complete...}}

This handy decision tree aims to help in finding out whether a given object should have {{w|solar panel}}s installed on it.

The root question is whether the object of choice moves. If it doesn't and has no nearby empty space that would be more practical for the solar panel installation, then yes, the object should be equipped with the solar panels. If the object is static, but you could more easily install the panels somewhere else nearby, probably that's the best place. An example of this is a slanted rooftop of a house or a field on a hillside: it's certainly possible to put solar panels there, but if a flat surface, like a flat-roofed house or a level field, is available, it would generally be easier to put them on that. This way, you can select the optimal direction for the panels to face, which might not be possible on a given incline, or even have them [https://www.linak.com/business-areas/energy move to track the sun]. However if the house has a side that is turned towards the sun (south in the Northern hemisphere) then a house roof could be even better than on the ground, which is why the title text says "sure" for rooftops. For another example of things where "putting next to it" instead of "on it" is generally the easier (and arguably) option, see the "highway surfaces" of the title text.

If the object moves, the next question is whether its batteries can be recharged or swapped with ease, in which case batteries may be a better option than solar panels, if the purpose of the panels is to power the object. The idea is that solar panels on a vehicle sound like an interesting idea, but batteries can be much more easily (and economically) recharged from a fixed electrical station than using solar panels on the vehicle as a power source.

Finally, if the object moves and batteries are not an option, the last question is whether the object heats up during operation. If so, solar panels may not work well. [[Randall]] doubts it mockingly, see also the title text regarding his ''Haha Good luck'' final option. Solar panels do not work effectively when excessively hot [http://news.energysage.com/solar-panel-temperature-overheating/] (solar panels are typically designed to operate in temperature ranges of 15-25 celcius). Moreover, solar panels can only produce electrical power equal to about 20% of the solar radiation they receive. Thus, a device which heats up during use likely consumes much more power than the amount which could be produced by solar panels covering its surface - so "good luck". Obviously, many animals are also "moving objects"{{Citation needed}} fitting this condition, and installing solar panels on them is bound to be a challenge.{{Citation needed}}

But if changing batteries is not an option, and heat production and power requirements are low, then solar panels can be an excellent solution on a moving object. An excellent case for this is on [[:Category:Space probes|space probes]] and satellites, which are typically powered entirely by solar panels. Randall is well aware of this, as shown with the comics [[695: Spirit]] and [[1504: Opportunity]] about the two solar powered [[:Category:Mars rovers|Mars rovers]], although in this comic he seems to have only been concerned with Earthbound objects.

The flow chart, however, does not mention if the thing in question actually ''needs'' solar panels, but according to the title text it works very well, and thus Randall implies that if the answer is ''sure'' then it is relevant to put solar panels there. The more solar panels in place, the less fossil fuels are needed, and this is in line with Randall's general interest in reducing [[:Category:Climate change|climate change]].

The title text suggests that this flow chart is very broadly applicable to anything the Sun hits. It takes rooftops as one of the sure things, highway surfaces as probably not (see below), sailboats as a maybe, whereas all these moving objects, jets, cars, and wild deer ends up on the ''haha good luck'' result, as they get too hot when running. Randall tries to make the reader envision a wild deer with solar panels on it. As opposed to a car, though, a wild deer has no use of the electricity created by a solar panel, and it would be very hard for those installing it in the first place to come back and extract any energy stored by the panels...

"Highway surfaces" is likely a reference to "{{w|photovoltaic pavement}}". Engineers commonly regard the idea as a nightmare to implement; it would be more practical to install the solar panels ''beside'' the road where damage by cars is less of an issue.

==Transcript==

:[A flow chart that features four questions in bubbles. Each question has yes/no options in bubbles overlain to the left and right on the question bubble. Curved arrows points from the yes and no bubbles to either next question or the result. The result written at the bottom is not inside bubbles. The chart has two main branches, that ends up in five places using only four different results, as the middle result is shared by both branches. Above the chart there is a caption:]
:'''Should I put solar panels on it?'''

:Does it move around?
::Yes
:::Does it have regular chances to recharge or swap batteries?
::::Yes
:::::Probably not
::::No
:::::When running, is it hot to the touch?
::::::No
:::::::Maybe
::::::Yes
:::::::Haha good luck
::No
:::Is there an empty space nearby where it would be easier to put them?
::::Yes
:::::Probably not [Uses the same sentence as the one in the first branch.]
::::No
:::::Sure

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Flowcharts]]
[[Category:Animals]]

1923: Felsius

2017-12-04T15:13:09Z

141.101.104.239: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1923
| date = December 1, 2017
| title = Felsius
| image = felsius.png
| titletext = The symbol for degrees Felsius is an average of the Euro symbol (€) and the Greek lunate epsilon (ϵ).
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Is there anything to add?}}

Just like in [[1292: Pi vs. Tau]], [[Randall]] tries to unify two measurement systems by averaging both values, assumably with little success.

There are several {{w|Scale_of_temperature|temperature scales}} actively used in different parts of the world of for different purposes, including {{w|Celsius}} and {{w|Fahrenheit}}, but e.g. also {{w|Kelvin}} and {{w|Rankine_scale|Rankine}}.

The debate on whether to use Fahrenheit or Celsius is, just like the one between {{w|Imperial_units|imperial}} and {{w|Metric system|metric}} units, one that is mostly restricted to the US. While Fahrenheit is a widely used temperature scale in the US, most other countries have already switched from Fahrenheit to Celsius or have always used Celsius. In scientific circles, even in the US, only Celsius (and Kelvin) are used.

The conversion factors between Celsius and Fahrenheit are:
:°C = (°F − 32) × 5 / 9
:°F = °C × 9 / 5 + 32

which indeed make the average value of °C and °F:
:°⋲ = °C × 7 / 5 + 16 = (°F × 7 - 80) / 9

[[Randall]] choose to name his new unit of temperature Felsius (a {{w|portmanteau}} of Fahrenheit and Celsius).

Comically enough, the Felsius scale discards the main advantages of either temperature scale. The Celsius scale is based around 0 °C as the melting point of water and 100 °C as the boiling point, which Felsius does not preserve. Fahrenheit is often argued to be a convenient temperature measure for human comfort, as 0 °F is very cold and 100 °F is very hot. Many places on earth which humans inhabit fall reasonably well within these extremes the majority of the time, but Felsius does not preserve this advantage of the Fahrenheit scale either.

The title text states that the symbol he chose to represent this unit also is the average of two other symbols. Visually, it is assumed to be a combination of Celsius and Fahrenheit (a C with a crossbar), but it is actually the unrelated symbols for the {{w|Euro sign|euro}} (€) and the Greek lunate {{w|epsilon}} (ϵ). Randall's symbol has a single crossbar, like the Greek lunate epsilon, but the crossbar continues to the left, like the Euro symbol. (In this explanation and the transcript, we have used the mathematical symbol [http://graphemica.com/%E2%8B%B2 U+22F2], which may appear too large or too small depending on the font.)

{|class="wikitable"
!Symbol!!Number of crossbars!!Length of crossbar(s)
|-
||Euro||2||Long
|-
||Epsilon||1||Short
|-
||Felsius||1||Long
|-
||[not used]||2||Short
|}

In doing all this, Randall has fallen into the trap of creating a new temperature scale/standard: see [[927|927: Standards]].

Randall has also compared Celsius and Fahrenheit scales earlier in [[1643: Degrees]].

This is an example of {{w|Argument_to_moderation|Argument to Moderation}}, also known as the false middle point fallacy. A famous use of this fallacy is in the Bible, the {{w|Judgment_of_Solomon|Judgment of Solomon}}. The true mother of a disputed baby is discovered{{Citation needed}} by proposing the "compromise" of cutting the baby in half. Perhaps Randall has a similar strategy in proposing Felsius, an absurd compromise, in order to discover the "true" temperature scale.

=== Table of Given Conversions & Additional ===
{| class="wikitable"
!°⋲!!°C!!°F!!Note
|-
| style="text-align:right;" |156.0
| style="text-align:right;" |100.0
| style="text-align:right;" |212.0
||Water boils at sea level (1 atmosphere)
|-
| style="text-align:right;" |91.6
| style="text-align:right;" |54.0
| style="text-align:right;" |129.2
||World heat record (per [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highest_temperature_recorded_on_Earth Wikipedia])
|-
| style="text-align:right;" |67.8
| style="text-align:right;" |37.0
| style="text-align:right;" |98.6
||Body temperature (accepted average)
|-
| style="text-align:right;" |46.8
| style="text-align:right;" |22.0
| style="text-align:right;" |71.6
||Room temperature (maximum per [https://ahdictionary.com/word/search.html?q=room+temperature American Heritage Dictionary])
|-
| style="text-align:right;" |16.0
| style="text-align:right;" |0.0
| style="text-align:right;" |32.0
||Pure water freezes at sea level (1 atmosphere); 0°C reference
|-
| style="text-align:right;" |0.0
| style="text-align:right;" |−11.4
| style="text-align:right;" |11.4
||0°⋲ reference
|-
| style="text-align:right;" |−8.9
| style="text-align:right;" |−17.8
| style="text-align:right;" |0.0
||0°F reference
|-
| style="text-align:right;" |−13.5
| style="text-align:right;" |−21.1
| style="text-align:right;" |−6.0
||Saturated salt water freezes at sea level (1 atmosphere)[https://van.physics.illinois.edu/qa/listing.php?id=1722]
|-
| style="text-align:right;" |−40.0
| style="text-align:right;" |−40.0
| style="text-align:right;" |−40.0
||Equivalence point (exactly −40°)
|-
| style="text-align:right;" |−366.4
| style="text-align:right;" |−273.2
| style="text-align:right;" |−459.7
||Absolute zero (exactly −273.15°C or −459.67°F)
|}

==Transcript==
:[A thermometer is shown where the temperature is indicated, with a red column of liquid, to be just above room temperature. This can be seen from the five labels belonging to five lines pointing at the scale. None of these coincide with the 14 ticks on the actual scale for the thermometer. Below the last label is the formula for calculating the temperature on this scale.]
:92°⋲ world heat record
:68°⋲ body temperature
:47°⋲ room temperature
:16°⋲ water freezes
:–9°⋲ 0°F
:°⋲=7×°C/5+16=(7×°F–80)/9

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Since the Celsius vs Fahrenheit debate has proven surprisingly hard to resolve, as a compromise I've started using Felsius (°⋲), the average of the two.

==Implementations==
An implementation of Felsius is available at [http://www.weatherinfelsius.us Weather In Felsius], using a location based on user's IP address and accepting US ZIP codes.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Portmanteau]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Compromise]]

Talk:1923: Felsius

2017-12-04T09:40:10Z

141.101.104.239:

Thanks who, at the same time as I, wrote the better explanation with formulae; you're welcome for the table (which, for my first attempt at a MediaWiki table, and in a big hurry to be first*, I think came out all right). ((*Go ahead and edit at will!)) --'''BigMal''' // [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.184|108.162.216.184]] 16:44, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

Seems like this is awfully relevant: https://xkcd.com/927/ -- '''Derek Antrican''' [[Special:Contributions/108.162.246.23|108.162.246.23]] 16:54, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

You can't write formulas like that! °C is degree(s) Celsius, not the value of some temperature as measured in degrees Celsius. You should write something like [°C] or °C-1 instead (if we treat °C as an affine function mapping dimensionless values to temperatures). Or you can be explicit and say something like "x°F = ((x − 32) * 5 / 9)°C". --[[Special:Contributions/172.68.54.22|172.68.54.22]] 19:59, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

Fahrenheit contribution to the name is disproportionately small for an average of two scales. It should have been at least Falsius, with added punniness, or Fahlsius, to be more unique. -- '''Average Alex'''
: It should be ‘Fahlsius’, or even ‘Fählsius’, but notice that the pronunciation will still be more or less like ‘Felsius’ and not like ‘Fall-sius’ (for the same reason that ‘Fahrenheit’ or ‘Fährenheit’ is pronounced more or less like ‘Fair-enheit’ and not like ‘Far-enheit’. —[[User:TobyBartels|TobyBartels]] ([[User talk:TobyBartels|talk]]) 04:58, 3 December 2017 (UTC)
:It should be Centiheit[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.239|141.101.104.239]] 09:32, 4 December 2017 (UTC)

I'm obliged to share https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=227Hdz8VFKo. As a pedant, I have to point out that water's melting and boiling point aren't quite at 0 °C and 100 °C (and that Celsius originally had it backwards). And I *do* like "Falsius". [[User:Fluppeteer|Fluppeteer]] ([[User talk:Fluppeteer|talk]]) 21:19, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

Watch out for Felsius/Celsius or Felsius/Fahrenheit hybrids: https://xkcd.com/419/ [[User:WhiteDragon|WhiteDragon]] ([[User talk:WhiteDragon|talk]]) 22:20, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

What is an "epislon"? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.88.170|162.158.88.170]] 23:02, 1 December 2017 (UTC)
: A Greek letter; follow the link where the word first appears in the explanation. —[[User:TobyBartels|TobyBartels]] ([[User talk:TobyBartels|talk]]) 04:58, 3 December 2017 (UTC)
:: I'm pretty sure there's no Greek letter epislon. Which is presumably why it got corrected.[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.239|141.101.104.239]] 09:40, 4 December 2017 (UTC)

I think the Ukranian Ye (Є) would be closer, visually speaking.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.186.42|162.158.186.42]] 23:40, 1 December 2017 (UTC)
: Or the mathematical symbol ⋲ (ELEMENT OF WITH LONG HORIZONTAL STROKE) or C̶ (LATIN CAPITAL LETTER C + COMBINING LONG STROKE OVERLAY)? Or ℃̶ (DEGREE CELSIUS + COMBINING LONG STROKE OVERLAY)? [[User:Sabik|Sabik]] ([[User talk:Sabik|talk]]) 11:36, 2 December 2017 (UTC)
:: Yes, ELEMENT OF WITH LONG HORIZONTAL STROKE seems exactly right (not only by look, but also since ELEMENT OF is basically a lunate Epsilon already and changing the HORIZONTAL STROKE so that it is LONG is precisely the modification WITH which it needs to be equipped), and I think that we should switch to this immediately! —[[User:TobyBartels|TobyBartels]] ([[User talk:TobyBartels|talk]]) 04:58, 3 December 2017 (UTC)
::: Done. [[User:Sabik|Sabik]] ([[User talk:Sabik|talk]]) 06:42, 3 December 2017 (UTC)

Apparantly someone needs to be taught about the Rømer scale that is the ancestor of both Celcius and Fahrenhet. It has fixed constants for all three of water boiling, freezing and the temperature of brine.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.202.226|162.158.202.226]] 23:06, 2 December 2017 (UTC)

I remove the reference to ammonium chloride from the temperature table because, while it is cool (both figuratively and literally), it's also obsolete: in the modern Fahrenheit scale, this happens at 4°F, not at 0°F. (See the table at {{w|Frigorific mixture}}.) —[[User:TobyBartels|TobyBartels]] ([[User talk:TobyBartels|talk]]) 04:58, 3 December 2017 (UTC)

If the creator of the website that was inspired by the comic created one that was based on SE Asian countries, I would like to know the felsius of that. I am curious as heck.Boeing-787lover 06:33, 3 December 2017 (UTC)

Note that as visible on the {{w|Kelvin}} page, the temperatures actually used to define the scales are absolute zero and the triple point of water, as other points, including the boiling temperature of water, body temperature, room temperature, pure water freeze and saturated salt water freeze one, are hard to measure reliably (due to pressure requirements). -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 02:59, 4 December 2017 (UTC)

Do you think Randall made up a new symbol for Felsius with the intention of making the job difficult for explain xkcd (or at least knowing that it would complicate matters)? [[User:Sensorfire|Sensorfire]] ([[User talk:Sensorfire|talk]]) 03:15, 4 December 2017 (UTC)

Talk:1923: Felsius

2017-12-04T09:32:39Z

141.101.104.239:

Thanks who, at the same time as I, wrote the better explanation with formulae; you're welcome for the table (which, for my first attempt at a MediaWiki table, and in a big hurry to be first*, I think came out all right). ((*Go ahead and edit at will!)) --'''BigMal''' // [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.184|108.162.216.184]] 16:44, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

Seems like this is awfully relevant: https://xkcd.com/927/ -- '''Derek Antrican''' [[Special:Contributions/108.162.246.23|108.162.246.23]] 16:54, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

You can't write formulas like that! °C is degree(s) Celsius, not the value of some temperature as measured in degrees Celsius. You should write something like [°C] or °C-1 instead (if we treat °C as an affine function mapping dimensionless values to temperatures). Or you can be explicit and say something like "x°F = ((x − 32) * 5 / 9)°C". --[[Special:Contributions/172.68.54.22|172.68.54.22]] 19:59, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

Fahrenheit contribution to the name is disproportionately small for an average of two scales. It should have been at least Falsius, with added punniness, or Fahlsius, to be more unique. -- '''Average Alex'''
: It should be ‘Fahlsius’, or even ‘Fählsius’, but notice that the pronunciation will still be more or less like ‘Felsius’ and not like ‘Fall-sius’ (for the same reason that ‘Fahrenheit’ or ‘Fährenheit’ is pronounced more or less like ‘Fair-enheit’ and not like ‘Far-enheit’. —[[User:TobyBartels|TobyBartels]] ([[User talk:TobyBartels|talk]]) 04:58, 3 December 2017 (UTC)
:It should be Centiheit[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.239|141.101.104.239]] 09:32, 4 December 2017 (UTC)

I'm obliged to share https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=227Hdz8VFKo. As a pedant, I have to point out that water's melting and boiling point aren't quite at 0 °C and 100 °C (and that Celsius originally had it backwards). And I *do* like "Falsius". [[User:Fluppeteer|Fluppeteer]] ([[User talk:Fluppeteer|talk]]) 21:19, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

Watchout for Felsius/Celsius or Felsius/Fahrenheit hybrids: https://xkcd.com/419/ [[User:WhiteDragon|WhiteDragon]] ([[User talk:WhiteDragon|talk]]) 22:20, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

What is an "epislon"?
[[Special:Contributions/162.158.88.170|162.158.88.170]] 23:02, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

: A Greek letter; follow the link where the word first appears in the explanation. —[[User:TobyBartels|TobyBartels]] ([[User talk:TobyBartels|talk]]) 04:58, 3 December 2017 (UTC)

I think the Ukranian Ye (Є) would be closer, visually speaking.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.186.42|162.158.186.42]] 23:40, 1 December 2017 (UTC)
: Or the mathematical symbol ⋲ (ELEMENT OF WITH LONG HORIZONTAL STROKE) or C̶ (LATIN CAPITAL LETTER C + COMBINING LONG STROKE OVERLAY)? Or ℃̶ (DEGREE CELSIUS + COMBINING LONG STROKE OVERLAY)? [[User:Sabik|Sabik]] ([[User talk:Sabik|talk]]) 11:36, 2 December 2017 (UTC)
:: Yes, ELEMENT OF WITH LONG HORIZONTAL STROKE seems exactly right (not only by look, but also since ELEMENT OF is basically a lunate Epsilon already and changing the HORIZONTAL STROKE so that it is LONG is precisely the modification WITH which it needs to be equipped), and I think that we should switch to this immediately! —[[User:TobyBartels|TobyBartels]] ([[User talk:TobyBartels|talk]]) 04:58, 3 December 2017 (UTC)
::: Done. [[User:Sabik|Sabik]] ([[User talk:Sabik|talk]]) 06:42, 3 December 2017 (UTC)

Apparantly someone needs to be taught about the Rømer scale that is the ancestor of both Celcius and Fahrenhet. It has fixed constants for all three of water boiling, freezing and the temperature of brine.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.202.226|162.158.202.226]] 23:06, 2 December 2017 (UTC)

I remove the reference to ammonium chloride from the temperature table because, while it is cool (both figuratively and literally), it's also obsolete: in the modern Fahrenheit scale, this happens at 4°F, not at 0°F. (See the table at {{w|Frigorific mixture}}.) —[[User:TobyBartels|TobyBartels]] ([[User talk:TobyBartels|talk]]) 04:58, 3 December 2017 (UTC)

If the creator of the website that was inspired by the comic created one that was based on SE Asian countries, I would like to know the felsius of that. I am curious as heck.Boeing-787lover 06:33, 3 December 2017 (UTC)

Note that as visible on the {{w|Kelvin}} page, the temperatures actually used to define the scales are absolute zero and the triple point of water, as other points, including the boiling temperature of water, body temperature, room temperature, pure water freeze and saturated salt water freeze one, are hard to measure reliably (due to pressure requirements). -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 02:59, 4 December 2017 (UTC)

Do you think Randall made up a new symbol for Felsius with the intention of making the job difficult for explain xkcd (or at least knowing that it would complicate matters)? [[User:Sensorfire|Sensorfire]] ([[User talk:Sensorfire|talk]]) 03:15, 4 December 2017 (UTC)

Talk:1922: Interferometry

2017-12-01T10:16:32Z

141.101.104.239:

Newbie here just added the explanition and transcript, so will need editing.[[Special:Contributions/172.68.34.106|172.68.34.106]] 16:25, 29 November 2017 (UTC)
:I think we both added it at the same time; when I submitted mine it showed normally in the edit box with the captcha, but when I pressed save it spliced your explanation and mine together. Think yours is probably better researched (I was typing off the top of my head), so I reverted it again. -- [[Special:Contributions/162.158.89.25|162.158.89.25]] 16:43, 29 November 2017 (UTC)

:Seriously! A comic explanation about interferometry was created by two people at the same time, some large distance apart, resulting in interference![[Special:Contributions/162.158.178.4|162.158.178.4]] 04:57, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

Why is there a period after Interferometry in the first panel?[[Special:Contributions/172.68.34.106|172.68.34.106]] 19:04, 29 November 2017 (UTC)
:It has to be a mistake. Otherwise, Beret Guy sounds like he has a weird speech cadence. [[User:Dogman15|Dogman15]] ([[User talk:Dogman15|talk]]) 10:17, 30 November 2017 (UTC)
::Could it have something to do with the fact that it's a "period"?--[[Special:Contributions/162.158.63.226|162.158.63.226]] 02:41, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

I really like the [citation needed] on whether dogs can interfere with each other. I want it to stay! --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.89.61|162.158.89.61]] 20:05, 29 November 2017 (UTC)
:Dogs certainly can interfere with each other - in fact, they often have to be restrained from doing so...[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.239|141.101.104.239]] 09:37, 30 November 2017 (UTC)
:I agree, but feel like it would be better if the statement had more certainty. "it PROBABLY won't work on dogs". Probably? Someone is uncertain on this point??!?!? LOL! [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 04:19, 1 December 2017 (UTC)
::If you poll a large number of theoretical physicists I'm pretty sure you'll find some who are certain it WOULD work on dogs -- It's just an engineering problem. Afterall interference has been demonstrated with molecules of over 800 atoms, which is just a few Daltons short of a yorkie.[[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.40|108.162.216.40]] 08:25, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

Beret guy is back ! I like it... [[Special:Contributions/172.69.23.51|172.69.23.51]] 00:05, 30 November 2017 (UTC)

I feel it should be noted that these are good dogs, Brent. --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.246.17|108.162.246.17]] 04:49, 30 November 2017 (UTC)

I think the good dog part in the title text is related to the [https://topatoco.com/collections/jeph-jacques/products/dogs-are-good-shirt new t-shirt from Questionable Content]. I think there has been guest comics one way or the other before. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.134.220|162.158.134.220]] 06:25, 30 November 2017 (UTC)

It's different and probably unrelated, but the comic made me think of the science fiction classic _A Fire Upon The Deep_ in which there are intelligent hive mind dog packs. One dog isn't intelligent, but put 4-6 together and the pack forms a single person with human-level intelligence. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.155|141.101.104.155]] 07:52, 30 November 2017 (UTC)

: The latest research shows you'd need about 30 dogs to equate to one human in terms of neuron quantity (https://newatlas.com/dogs-smarter-cats-neuron-density-study/52416/), but I wouldn't expect human-level intelligence with just 30 dogs because that ignores the amount of overhead needed to control the 30 dog bodies. [[Special:Contributions/198.41.238.40|198.41.238.40]] 11:20, 30 November 2017 (UTC)

::Note that while Tines are similar to dogs, they are not actual earth dogs and are likely more intelligent or at least having more mental capacity even separately. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 23:42, 30 November 2017 (UTC)

A large bark does not prove a large dog - dog size and bark size are not proportionately related. The fact that the bark is apparently emanating from mid-air would be more of an indication (though this could be an auditory illusion caused by the combination of barks from the two dogs).[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.239|141.101.104.239]] 09:37, 30 November 2017 (UTC)

:Well, barks can make interference much easier than dogs themselves ... -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 23:42, 30 November 2017 (UTC)

While I get the gist of the comic, my borderline completionism won't let me completely enjoy it unless I can understand the logical connection between astronomy and dogs. How are dogs and telescopes isomorphic in the realm of interferometry? Just another random brilliant leap that only makes sense to Beret Guy (i.e., not logical to any other being on Earth)? --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.136|108.162.221.136]] 14:53, 30 November 2017 (UTC)
:I get the sense that this is it, there's no connection between dogs and astronomy except the one Beret Guy just created. [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 04:19, 1 December 2017 (UTC)
:: Have you never heard of the Dog Star?[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.239|141.101.104.239]] 10:16, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

Does anyone else notice how in the third panel, HYAH seems to be coming from BG's beret button? What if the beret is controlling him?[[User:MrBookBoy|MrBookBoy]] ([[User talk:MrBookBoy|talk]]) 15:03, 30 November 2017 (UTC)
:I love the observational skills of the XKCD fandom, makes me feel right at home. LOL! You're right, I don't see how there can be any question that it seems like the button is doing the talking. [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 04:19, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

Talk:1922: Interferometry

2017-12-01T10:15:58Z

141.101.104.239:

Newbie here just added the explanition and transcript, so will need editing.[[Special:Contributions/172.68.34.106|172.68.34.106]] 16:25, 29 November 2017 (UTC)
:I think we both added it at the same time; when I submitted mine it showed normally in the edit box with the captcha, but when I pressed save it spliced your explanation and mine together. Think yours is probably better researched (I was typing off the top of my head), so I reverted it again. -- [[Special:Contributions/162.158.89.25|162.158.89.25]] 16:43, 29 November 2017 (UTC)

:Seriously! A comic explanation about interferometry was created by two people at the same time, some large distance apart, resulting in interference![[Special:Contributions/162.158.178.4|162.158.178.4]] 04:57, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

Why is there a period after Interferometry in the first panel?[[Special:Contributions/172.68.34.106|172.68.34.106]] 19:04, 29 November 2017 (UTC)
:It has to be a mistake. Otherwise, Beret Guy sounds like he has a weird speech cadence. [[User:Dogman15|Dogman15]] ([[User talk:Dogman15|talk]]) 10:17, 30 November 2017 (UTC)
::Could it have something to do with the fact that it's a "period"?--[[Special:Contributions/162.158.63.226|162.158.63.226]] 02:41, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

I really like the [citation needed] on whether dogs can interfere with each other. I want it to stay! --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.89.61|162.158.89.61]] 20:05, 29 November 2017 (UTC)
:Dogs certainly can interfere with each other - in fact, they often have to be restrained from doing so...[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.239|141.101.104.239]] 09:37, 30 November 2017 (UTC)
:I agree, but feel like it would be better if the statement had more certainty. "it PROBABLY won't work on dogs". Probably? Someone is uncertain on this point??!?!? LOL! [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 04:19, 1 December 2017 (UTC)
::If you poll a large number of theoretical physicists I'm pretty sure you'll find some who are certain it WOULD work on dogs -- It's just an engineering problem. Afterall interference has been demonstrated with molecules of over 800 atoms, which is just a few Daltons short of a yorkie.[[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.40|108.162.216.40]] 08:25, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

Beret guy is back ! I like it... [[Special:Contributions/172.69.23.51|172.69.23.51]] 00:05, 30 November 2017 (UTC)

I feel it should be noted that these are good dogs, Brent. --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.246.17|108.162.246.17]] 04:49, 30 November 2017 (UTC)

I think the good dog part in the title text is related to the [https://topatoco.com/collections/jeph-jacques/products/dogs-are-good-shirt new t-shirt from Questionable Content]. I think there has been guest comics one way or the other before. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.134.220|162.158.134.220]] 06:25, 30 November 2017 (UTC)

It's different and probably unrelated, but the comic made me think of the science fiction classic _A Fire Upon The Deep_ in which there are intelligent hive mind dog packs. One dog isn't intelligent, but put 4-6 together and the pack forms a single person with human-level intelligence. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.155|141.101.104.155]] 07:52, 30 November 2017 (UTC)

: The latest research shows you'd need about 30 dogs to equate to one human in terms of neuron quantity (https://newatlas.com/dogs-smarter-cats-neuron-density-study/52416/), but I wouldn't expect human-level intelligence with just 30 dogs because that ignores the amount of overhead needed to control the 30 dog bodies. [[Special:Contributions/198.41.238.40|198.41.238.40]] 11:20, 30 November 2017 (UTC)

::Note that while Tines are similar to dogs, they are not actual earth dogs and are likely more intelligent or at least having more mental capacity even separately. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 23:42, 30 November 2017 (UTC)

A large bark does not prove a large dog - dog size and bark size are not proportionately related. The fact that the bark is apparently emanating from mid-air would be more of an indication (though this could be an auditory illusion caused by the combination of barks from the two dogs).[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.239|141.101.104.239]] 09:37, 30 November 2017 (UTC)

:Well, barks can make interference much easier than dogs themselves ... -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 23:42, 30 November 2017 (UTC)

While I get the gist of the comic, my borderline completionism won't let me completely enjoy it unless I can understand the logical connection between astronomy and dogs. How are dogs and telescopes isomorphic in the realm of interferometry? Just another random brilliant leap that only makes sense to Beret Guy (i.e., not logical to any other being on Earth)? --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.136|108.162.221.136]] 14:53, 30 November 2017 (UTC)
:I get the sense that this is it, there's no connection between dogs and astronomy except the one Beret Guy just created. [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 04:19, 1 December 2017 (UTC)
:: Have you never heard of the Dog Star?

Does anyone else notice how in the third panel, HYAH seems to be coming from BG's beret button? What if the beret is controlling him?[[User:MrBookBoy|MrBookBoy]] ([[User talk:MrBookBoy|talk]]) 15:03, 30 November 2017 (UTC)
:I love the observational skills of the XKCD fandom, makes me feel right at home. LOL! You're right, I don't see how there can be any question that it seems like the button is doing the talking. [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 04:19, 1 December 2017 (UTC)

Talk:1922: Interferometry

2017-11-30T09:37:49Z

141.101.104.239:

Talk:1920: Emoji Sports

2017-11-28T17:38:14Z

141.101.104.239:

It seems like in addition to the destructive sports thing, he's also playing on the emojis made from other emojis in multi character Unicode, but as it's 3 in the morning and I can't even remember what things are called I'm not gonna even try to edit right now. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.33|162.158.62.33]] 07:50, 24 November 2017 (UTC)

Hey! An early published comic! 3AM Me And Randall time Thursday night right now. Fun since I only read on Monday and Thursday nights. :) [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 08:14, 24 November 2017 (UTC)

Actually candle eating isn't so far out there: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXg3l_Lnmdo

It seems like the joke in the title is about the fact that a horse winning a HorseHole race wouldn't actually be able to compete anymore (dead or hurt). Which would explain why no horse ever won the 4 different races. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.150.40|162.158.150.40]] 09:58, 24 November 2017 (UTC)
:The horse can easily do the HorseHole last. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 23:49, 25 November 2017 (UTC)

Re. " the mailbox seems to be missing mail" - If there was mail in there, there wouldn't be room to stuff the owl in.[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.239|141.101.104.239]] 11:22, 24 November 2017 (UTC)

What a dumb idea for a comic. It's kinda like comedy central when they run out of ideas, they run South Park day and night, or TruTV running Impractical Jokers episodes because they ran out of other remotely funny stuff. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.58.113|172.68.58.113]] 11:52, 24 November 2017 (UTC)
: What a dumb idea for a comment. It's kinda like a kid in the playground who doesn't have the imagination to join in with the other kids' games, so decides to just try to spoil them instead.[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.239|141.101.104.239]] 09:24, 27 November 2017 (UTC)
:: ^This guy for President [[User:AtrumMessor|AtrumMessor]] ([[User talk:AtrumMessor|talk]]) 21:18, 27 November 2017 (UTC)

Is it worth mentioning that a version of Alligator Jumping appears in the Monty Python's Contractual Obligation Album? As befits MP, the sport involves running at a crocodile, then diving into its mouth. There is controversy in the sport regarding whether or not to coat yourself with a marinade. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.111.85|162.158.111.85]] 12:28, 24 November 2017 (UTC)
: Alligator jumping sort of reminds me of the old [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pitfall! Pitfall] series of games. [[User:Shamino|Shamino]] ([[User talk:Shamino|talk]]) 15:33, 24 November 2017 (UTC)

I vaguely remember that "Consequence XXXXX" is a thing; finding a reference for that would be helpful. Also, any way to increase the size of the emojis? They're pretty hard to read at the usual font size. -- [[Special:Contributions/173.245.52.145|173.245.52.145]] 15:15, 24 November 2017 (UTC)

I don't think the ball in Fancyball is supposed to be giant; they are just emoji and I don't think they're representative of the sizes of the participants/objects in the game. After all, I don't think there is a man the size of a volcano... Also, water-skiing is a sport - is the person jumping over the alligator necessarily confined to snow? Although the person in the emoji does have ski poles so perhaps that is the case. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.34.76|162.158.34.76]] 15:31, 24 November 2017 (UTC)

Multiplayer 🥑 Might be a reference to polygamy, as there is an app called avocado that is supposed to be a safe app for couples to share within.

I wonder if it might be possible to have a fallback for Emoji that aren't as well supported. I note a few that don't work on my Firefox version. I also wonder how useful the transcripts are with the emoji: do screen readers properly handle them? [[User:Trlkly|Trlkly]] ([[User talk:Trlkly|talk]]) 22:12, 25 November 2017 (UTC)

:I have all on palemoon, which makes me thinking it's not related to browsers, just what font you have installed. Try [https://github.com/eosrei/twemoji-color-font/releases twemoji]. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 23:49, 25 November 2017 (UTC)
:About half the emojis in the transcript are just squares for me. And I'm on an iPad, no installing fonts or anything for me. (Granted, it's an iPad 1 whose highest possible iOS is 5.1.1, but still). I would agree that having actual emojis seem useless to a reader program, BUT I note that there's also text descriptions. [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 04:53, 28 November 2017 (UTC)

Originally though that the consequence archery is supposed to be about shooting down satellites from orbit while standing on earth, but that would be very hard to do with conventional bow (or, frankly, anything else except rocket). -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 23:49, 25 November 2017 (UTC)
: It looks to me like the archer is an astronaut, suggesting he's in space himself. I think the idea is that hitting the satellite will make it crash into him, but that would take some strong heavy arrows. [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 04:53, 28 November 2017 (UTC)

Regarding the Tinkerball, it can be dangerous for players too, especially if the Fae notices what they plan to do before is too beaten to cast spells. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 23:49, 25 November 2017 (UTC)

couldn't disagree more with this explanation [[Special:Contributions/173.245.52.157|173.245.52.157]] 01:37, 27 November 2017 (UTC)...

How so? [[Special:Contributions/172.68.47.6|172.68.47.6]] 06:34, 27 November 2017 (UTC)

Can we not hedge our bets with "rarity" of mermaids? I'm pretty sure that everyone on this site can agree that mermaids do not exist. Really. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.177|162.158.74.177]] 14:50, 27 November 2017 (UTC)
: Agreed. Editing shortly. [[User:AtrumMessor|AtrumMessor]] ([[User talk:AtrumMessor|talk]]) 21:18, 27 November 2017 (UTC)
: That's the very challenge of the sport. :) [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 04:53, 28 November 2017 (UTC)
: But no such objections to fairy badminton?[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.239|141.101.104.239]] 17:38, 28 November 2017 (UTC)

Eggs most certainly are found in nature, in bird's (or reptile's) nests.

Editing "Consequence Golf"--well-cared-for lawn grass (and there's no better than on a golf course) has high water content and is a lot harder to ignite than you'd think. A detonator fuse doesn't actually throw flames (or as much heat as one would assume) so the green catching fire would (a) be very unlikely, and (b) be the absolute least of your problems. Just don't ask me how I know. [[User:AtrumMessor|AtrumMessor]] ([[User talk:AtrumMessor|talk]]) 21:18, 27 November 2017 (UTC)
: I think the idea is that the "golf ball" is a lit bomb which might explode in your face, making this golf like Hot Potato or Russian Roulette. [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 04:53, 28 November 2017 (UTC)

What does "consequence" mean? Is this a snowclone from something commonly known but unknown to me? Anyway, I think it needs an explanation... [[User:Mathmannix|Mathmannix]] ([[User talk:Mathmannix|talk]]) 01:27, 28 November 2017 (UTC)
:"Consequence" is a result or response to something, like a punishment. If you drive too fast, you will get a speeding ticket as a consequence of speeding. To make you regret doing it. In this case (can't see the comic but I remember consequence archery and consequence golf), if you participate in the archery and shoot down the satellite, it might crash into you. If you play the golf, the "ball" will probably explode near you. [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 04:53, 28 November 2017 (UTC)

Talk:1921: The Moon and the Great Wall

2017-11-28T15:27:03Z

141.101.104.239:

https://www.nasa.gov/vision/space/workinginspace/great_wall.html

gives something like an authoritative explanation togeter with photos taken from the ISS.

Summary: the great wall can't really be seen from space. But you may be able to spot its shape if the conditions are right. Such as light from the right direction (see the shadow), or snow accumulating on one side of the wall but not the other.

Jyrki Lahtonen

"The statement in the comic, however, is actually true." - It might be, but the part about the Great Wall in it is somewhat irrelevant - it is equally true also from anywhere else in the world. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.210.88|162.158.210.88]] 09:49, 27 November 2017 (UTC)
Yeah it's simply a reversal of the myth. "The Great Wall of China" could be replaced with "anywhere on Earth". But that would be less funny. [[User:Jdluk|Jdluk]] ([[User talk:Jdluk|talk]]) 10:27, 27 November 2017 (UTC)

The Great Wall is 13,000+ miles long, but only 35 feet wide. It's the narrowness that make it impossible to see from space. If we use thread (approx 1/100th of an inch wide) as an analogue, the GWC can be represent by a piece of thread 732 ft long (1.5 inches equals one mile), viewed from 5.5 feet away (equivalent to the 100 miles "edge of space"), or 1222 ft (22,000 miles geosynchronious orbit) or 2.5 miles (238,855 miles orbit of the moon) [[User:JamesCurran|JamesCurran]] ([[User talk:JamesCurran|talk]]) 15:07, 27 November 2017 (UTC)

That's simply false. The Great Wall of China is another structure on the surface of a celestial body that can be seen with the naked eye from the Great Wall of China. --[[Special:Contributions/172.68.54.34|172.68.54.34]] 19:05, 27 November 2017 (UTC)

: definition of celestial body: "A natural object which is located OUTSIDE OF EARTH'S ATMOSPHERE, such as the Moon, the Sun, an asteroid, planet, or star."
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/celestial_body
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/celestial?s=t [[Special:Contributions/172.68.65.168|172.68.65.168]] 21:04, 27 November 2017 (UTC)

:: As opposed to terrestrial body, which is, well, the earth XD [[Special:Contributions/172.68.2.22|172.68.2.22]]
::: Actually, there are four terrestrial bodies in our solar system alone: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terrestrial_planet https://www.space.com/17028-terrestrial-planets.html [[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.239|141.101.104.239]] 15:27, 28 November 2017 (UTC)

Those merlons are way too small. They are not going to protect Megan & Ponytail from incoming arrows. --[[Special:Contributions/172.68.54.34|172.68.54.34]] 19:08, 27 November 2017 (UTC)
: Depends how high the wall is... Perhaps in order to reach the top of the wall archers might need to be so close that the merlons are actually sufficient. [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 05:19, 28 November 2017 (UTC)

Talk:1921: The Moon and the Great Wall

2017-11-28T15:26:24Z

141.101.104.239:

https://www.nasa.gov/vision/space/workinginspace/great_wall.html

gives something like an authoritative explanation togeter with photos taken from the ISS.

Summary: the great wall can't really be seen from space. But you may be able to spot its shape if the conditions are right. Such as light from the right direction (see the shadow), or snow accumulating on one side of the wall but not the other.

Jyrki Lahtonen

"The statement in the comic, however, is actually true." - It might be, but the part about the Great Wall in it is somewhat irrelevant - it is equally true also from anywhere else in the world. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.210.88|162.158.210.88]] 09:49, 27 November 2017 (UTC)
Yeah it's simply a reversal of the myth. "The Great Wall of China" could be replaced with "anywhere on Earth". But that would be less funny. [[User:Jdluk|Jdluk]] ([[User talk:Jdluk|talk]]) 10:27, 27 November 2017 (UTC)

The Great Wall is 13,000+ miles long, but only 35 feet wide. It's the narrowness that make it impossible to see from space. If we use thread (approx 1/100th of an inch wide) as an analogue, the GWC can be represent by a piece of thread 732 ft long (1.5 inches equals one mile), viewed from 5.5 feet away (equivalent to the 100 miles "edge of space"), or 1222 ft (22,000 miles geosynchronious orbit) or 2.5 miles (238,855 miles orbit of the moon) [[User:JamesCurran|JamesCurran]] ([[User talk:JamesCurran|talk]]) 15:07, 27 November 2017 (UTC)

That's simply false. The Great Wall of China is another structure on the surface of a celestial body that can be seen with the naked eye from the Great Wall of China. --[[Special:Contributions/172.68.54.34|172.68.54.34]] 19:05, 27 November 2017 (UTC)

: definition of celestial body: "A natural object which is located OUTSIDE OF EARTH'S ATMOSPHERE, such as the Moon, the Sun, an asteroid, planet, or star."
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/celestial_body
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/celestial?s=t [[Special:Contributions/172.68.65.168|172.68.65.168]] 21:04, 27 November 2017 (UTC)

:: As opposed to terrestrial body, which is, well, the earth XD [[Special:Contributions/172.68.2.22|172.68.2.22]]
::: Actually, there are four terrestrial bodies in our solar system alone: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terrestrial_planet https://www.space.com/17028-terrestrial-planets.html

Those merlons are way too small. They are not going to protect Megan & Ponytail from incoming arrows. --[[Special:Contributions/172.68.54.34|172.68.54.34]] 19:08, 27 November 2017 (UTC)
: Depends how high the wall is... Perhaps in order to reach the top of the wall archers might need to be so close that the merlons are actually sufficient. [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 05:19, 28 November 2017 (UTC)

1921: The Moon and the Great Wall

2017-11-28T15:15:16Z

141.101.104.239: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1921
| date = November 27, 2017
| title = The Moon and the Great Wall
| image = the_moon_and_the_great_wall.png
| titletext = And arguably sunspots, on rare occasions. But even if they count, it takes ideal conditions and you might hurt your eyes.
}}

==Explanation==
This is a reference to the myth that the {{w|Great Wall of China}} is the only manmade object that can be seen from the {{w|Moon}} (or from space) with the naked eye. {{w|Great_Wall_of_China#Visibility_from_space|Sadly, it cannot}}. In fact, it's barely visible from the low orbit of satellites.

By mixing around the terms of the statement, the comic has produced one that is true, as the features on the Moon are indeed craters and valleys on its surface, and except for the {{w|Sun}} (see title text) all other distant {{w|Astronomical object|celestial bodies}} can only be seen as points of light by the unaided human eye. However, it is also weirdly specific, since the moon’s features can be seen equally well anywhere on Earth as they can from the Great Wall.

The title text states that one is sometimes able to see large {{w|sunspots}} if any are present and conditions are ideal. However, looking directly at the sun with the naked eye risks extensive damage to the eye and should NEVER be done. It could, however, be possible to see them when the Sun is seen through a thin cloud cover or maybe at sunset/sunrise. (It's possible to see very large sunspots with {{w|solar eclipse}} glasses or other adequate {{w|Eye protection#Protection against light|protection}}, but that's not unaided human eye.)

==Transcript==
:[Megan is holding her arm up towards Ponytail as they stand atop a large brick wall with {{w|Merlon|merlons}} along the top. They are standing to the left of a tower with three small windows as well as merlons on the top.]
:Megan: Did you know that the moon's craters and plains are the only structures on the surface of a celestial body that can be seen with the naked eye from the Great Wall of China?

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category: Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category: Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category: Astronomy]]

1921: The Moon and the Great Wall

2017-11-28T15:12:22Z

141.101.104.239: The comic statement is not the inverse of the classic myth

{{comic
| number = 1921
| date = November 27, 2017
| title = The Moon and the Great Wall
| image = the_moon_and_the_great_wall.png
| titletext = And arguably sunspots, on rare occasions. But even if they count, it takes ideal conditions and you might hurt your eyes.
}}

==Explanation==
This is a reference to the myth that the {{w|Great Wall of China}} is the only manmade object that can be seen from the {{w|Moon}} (or from space) with the naked eye. {{w|Great_Wall_of_China#Visibility_from_space|Sadly, it cannot}}. In fact, it's barely visible from the low orbit of satellites.

By mixing around the terms of the statement, the comic has produced one that is true, as the features on the Moon are indeed craters and valleys on the surface of the Moon, and except for the {{w|Sun}} (see title text) all other distant {{w|Astronomical object|celestial bodies}} can only be seen as points of light by the unaided human eye. However, it is also weirdly specific, since the moon’s features can be seen equally well anywhere on Earth as they can from the Great Wall.

The title text states that one is sometimes able to see large {{w|sunspots}} if any are present and conditions are ideal. However, looking directly at the sun with the naked eye risks extensive damage to the eye and should NEVER be done. It could, however, be possible to see them when the Sun is seen through a thin cloud cover or maybe at sunset/sunrise. (It's possible to see very large sunspots with {{w|solar eclipse}} glasses or other adequate {{w|Eye protection#Protection against light|protection}}, but that's not unaided human eye.)

==Transcript==
:[Megan is holding her arm up towards Ponytail as they stand atop a large brick wall with {{w|Merlon|merlons}} along the top. They are standing to the left of a tower with three small windows as well as merlons on the top.]
:Megan: Did you know that the moon's craters and plains are the only structures on the surface of a celestial body that can be seen with the naked eye from the Great Wall of China?

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category: Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category: Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category: Astronomy]]

1921: The Moon and the Great Wall

2017-11-27T14:51:09Z

141.101.104.239: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1921
| date = November 27, 2017
| title = The Moon and the Great Wall
| image = the_moon_and_the_great_wall.png
| titletext = And arguably sunspots, on rare occasions. But even if they count, it takes ideal conditions and you might hurt your eyes.
}}

==Explanation==
This is a reference to the myth that the {{w|Great Wall of China}} is the only manmade object that can be seen from the {{w|Moon}} (or from space) with the naked eye. {{w|Great_Wall_of_China#Visibility_from_space|It cannot}}! The statement in the comic, however, is almost true, as the features on the Moon are indeed craters and valleys on the surface of the Moon, and except for the {{w|Sun}} (see title text) all other distant {{w|Astronomical object|celestial bodies}} can only be seen as points of light by the unaided human eye. However, strictly speaking, from the Great Wall you can see many features, including the Great Wall itself, on the surface of the celestial body Earth.

The title text states that one is sometimes able to see {{w|sunspots}}. However, looking at the sun risks extensive damage to the eye and should NEVER be done, unless you still have your {{w|solar eclipse}} glasses from the {{w|Solar_eclipse_of_August_21,_2017|2017 solar eclipse}}. By using them you could see very large sunspots, if there are any at the present time.

==Transcript==
:[Megan is holding her arm up towards Ponytail as they stand atop a large brick wall to the left of a tower with three small windows.]
:Megan: Did you know that the moon's craters and plains are the only structures on the surface of a celestial body that can be seen with the naked eye from the Great Wall of China?

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category: Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category: Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category: Astronomy]]

Talk:1920: Emoji Sports

2017-11-27T09:24:14Z

141.101.104.239:

1920: Emoji Sports

2017-11-27T09:22:00Z

141.101.104.239: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1920
| date = November 24, 2017
| title = Emoji Sports
| image = emoji_sports.png
| titletext = No horse has yet managed the elusive Quadruple Crown—winning the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness, the Belmont Stakes, and the Missouri Horse Hole.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Still needs more explanation and a less humorous explanation of each sport concept - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic, as the heading indicates, arbitrarily selects emoji and uses them to make up very bizarre sports. Although some of these might be completely normal, most of them take things to a completely absurd level.

The title text is a reference to the triple crown, which is an highly prestigious award given to a three-year-old thoroughbred horse who wins the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness Stakes, and the Belmont Stakes, the first three of the four listed events. The joke is that if Horse Hole was a real sport, then one who won a major competition for it, the Missouri Horse Hole, in addition to the three main horse racing events, would win a “Quadruple Crown".
{| class="wikitable"
!scope="col" style="width: 100px;" |Emoji
!scope="col" style="width: 150px;" |Sport
!scope="col" |Description
|-
|🤽‍♂️🌋
|Lavaball
|Sets the sport of water polo around or inside an active volcano. If the water is simply replaced with lava, the players would asphyxiate from the toxic fumes long before they burned to death in the molten rock. If a typical pool of water is involved, the introduction of lava would cause rapid evaporation and the release of {{w|Chlorine#Use_as_a_weapon|chlorine gas}}, which is destructive to living tissue. In any case, this game is not a good time.
|-
|🤾‍♀️🤺
|Bladeball
|Using a fencing foil to hit a ball would not only be inefficient, but would easily lead to the destruction of the ball instead.
|-
|💃💃⚽
|Fancyball
|High-heeled soccer would be a problem for both kicking and running, and would lead to frequent injury.
|-
|🕳️🏇🏇🏇
|Horse hole
| Jockeys ride their horses into a large pit. Needless to say, such a sport would constitute blatant animal abuse; the ensuing fall would seriously injure competing equines (as well as their jockeys if they don't bail out beforehand). If the horse's self-preservation instinct kicks in before reaching the edge, the jockey will likely be severely injured in the process, an outcome which would likely garner a lot less pity. Both this segment and the title text may relate to Episode 354 of My Brother My Brother And Me, "Beanfreak", where a potential punishment for losing horses in a race is described as a trapdoor leading to a "pony pile" beneath the track. (Many of the podcast's episodes deal with horse racing and horse behavior, including some impassioned conversations on the performance of specific horses and the unregulated nature of the widely recognized Triple Crown achievement.)
|-
|🔪🏀⛏️
|Basketball shredding
|The apparent point of this sport is to compete to destroy basketballs as quickly and/or as thoroughly as possible. There is some transgressive appeal in mistreating sports equipment, but hardly enough to keep a captive audience.
|-
|🥚🔭🕵️‍♀️
|Eggspotting
|This could be a combination of {{w|Egg_hunt|egg hunting}} and {{w|birdwatching}}. The emojis imply that said eggs would have to be found alone in nature, as if they were wild animals. This is unlikely, to say the least.
|-
|⛷️🐊
|Alligator jumping
|An unusual combination of attributes, and to get the alligators to adapt to a cold environment might be a challenge. The emoji is actually a crocodile.
|-
|👩🎣🧜‍♂️
|Merfishing
|Unless humans volunteer to get in costume, this sport is unlikely to have any successes, due to the rarity or nonexistence of {{w|Mermaid|mermaids}}.
|-
|👨🏸🧚🏸👩
|Tinkerball
|Playing badminton with a fairy, named after [[wikipedia:Tinker Bell|Tinker Bell]]. Likely to injure the fairy.
|-
|🥌🦔🥌
|Hedgehog curling
|Hedgehogs are not ideal projectiles for sports, as ''Alice in Wonderland'' has already demonstrated, and such an idea would likely be considered animal abuse on top of the impracticality.
|-
|🗜️🍔
|Burger clamping
|Perhaps a challenge to fit a tall burger into a bite-sized height, though said clamp is more likely to pierce the burger than to flatten it.
|-
|👩‍🚀🏹🛰️
|Consequence archery
|Archery on a space station could cause damage to its structure leading to the potentially explosive decompression of the space station, and necessitate the evacuation of the archronauts aboard.
|-
|🦉➡️📬
|Owlstuffing
|This appears to consist of attempting to stuff owls into mailboxes, which would be doubly illegal, because it would be cruel to the owls and interfere with delivery of the mail. The mailbox is shown with the flag up, which normally indicates that there is mail in it, but it appears to be empty, perhaps so that the owl can be stuffed in it. Possibly a reference to owls carrying mail in the Harry Potter series.
|-
|🍴🕯️🍴
|Candle eating
|An even more unhealthy form of {{w|competitive eating}}. Eating large amounts of candle wax can cause {{w|Bowel_obstruction|intestinal obstruction}}.
|-
|⛳💣🏌️‍♀️
|Consequence golf
|Golfing with a bomb would likely significantly reduce the par on each hole, and there would be definite damage to the course and golfers unless the holes extinguished the bombs of skilled golfers. The balance and rolling of the balls would also be impeded by the fuses and caps, and there is a possibility of fires starting from a lit fuse making contact with the green.
|-
|👉🐍👈
|Snake shaming
|Probably a play on snake charming. Also a possible reference to the biblical story where the snake is shamed for deceiving mankind by being doomed to crawl on its belly.
|-
|🔥🧗‍♀️🔥
|Hell escape
|Trying to escape the {{w|lake of fire}} is the pastime of damned souls.
|-
|🎮🥑🎮
|Multiplayer avocado
|Unless a game based on avocados is the subject, there is, to say the least, a hardware compatibility issue here. Very different from the adult version, multiplayer eggplant (🎮🍆🎮; see [[1870: Emoji Movie Reviews]]).
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:<big>New sports</big>
:created from random emoji

:[Man Playing Water Polo + Volcano]
:🤽‍♂️🌋 Lavaball

:[Woman Playing Handball + Person Fencing]
:🤾‍♀️🤺 Bladeball

:[Woman Dancing (2 emojis) + Soccer Ball]
:💃💃⚽ Fancyball

:[Hole + Horse Racing (3 emojis)]
:🕳️🏇🏇🏇 Horse hole

:[Kitchen Knife + Basketball + Pick]
:🔪🏀⛏️ Basketball shredding

:[Egg + Telescope + Woman Detective]
:🥚🔭🕵️‍♀️ Eggspotting

:[Skier + Crocodile]
:⛷️🐊 Alligator jumping

:[Woman + Fishing Pole + Merman]
:👩🎣🧜‍♂️ Merfishing

:[Man + Badminton + Fairy + Badminton + Woman]
:👨🏸🧚🏸👩 Tinkerball

:[Curling Stone + Hedgehog + Curling Stone]
:🥌🦔🥌 Hedgehog curling

:[Clamp + Hamburger]
:🗜️🍔 Burger clamping

:[Woman Astronaut + Bow and Arrow + Satellite]
:👩‍🚀🏹🛰️ Consequence archery

:[Owl + Right Arrow + Open Mailbox]
:🦉➡️📬 Owlstuffing

:[Fork and Knife + Candle + Fork and Knife]
:🍴🕯️🍴 Candle eating

:[Flag in Hole + Bomb + Woman Golfing]
:⛳💣🏌️‍♀️ Consequence golf

:[Pointing Right + Snake + Pointing Left]
:👉🐍👈 Snake shaming

:[Fire + Woman Climbing + Fire]
:🔥🧗‍♀️🔥 Hell escape

:[Video Game + Avocado + Video Game]
:🎮🥑🎮 Multiplayer avocado

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Emoji]]

1920: Emoji Sports

2017-11-27T09:13:27Z

141.101.104.239: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1920
| date = November 24, 2017
| title = Emoji Sports
| image = emoji_sports.png
| titletext = No horse has yet managed the elusive Quadruple Crown—winning the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness, the Belmont Stakes, and the Missouri Horse Hole.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Still needs more explanation and a less humorous explanation of each sport concept - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic, as the heading indicates, arbitrarily selects emoji and uses them to make up very bizarre sports. Although some of these might be completely normal, most of them take things to a completely absurd level.

The title text is a reference to the triple crown, which is an highly prestigious award given to a three-year-old thoroughbred horse who wins the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness Stakes, and the Belmont Stakes, the first three of the four listed events. The joke is that if Horse Hole was a real sport, then one who won a major competition for it, the Missouri Horse Hole, in addition to the three main horse racing events, would win a “Quadruple Crown".
{| class="wikitable"
!scope="col" style="width: 100px;" |Emoji
!scope="col" style="width: 150px;" |Sport
!scope="col" |Description
|-
|🤽‍♂️🌋
|Lavaball
|Sets the sport of water polo around or inside an active volcano. If the water is simply replaced with lava, the players would asphyxiate from the toxic fumes long before they burned to death in the molten rock. If a typical pool of water is involved, the introduction of lava would cause rapid evaporation and the release of {{w|Chlorine#Use_as_a_weapon|chlorine gas}}, which is destructive to living tissue. In any case, this game is not a good time.
|-
|🤾‍♀️🤺
|Bladeball
|Using a fencing foil to hit a ball would not only be inefficient, but would easily lead to the destruction of the ball instead.
|-
|💃💃⚽
|Fancyball
|High-heeled soccer would be a problem for both kicking and running, and would lead to frequent injury.
|-
|🕳️🏇🏇🏇
|Horse hole
| Jockeys ride their horses into a large pit. Needless to say, such a sport would constitute blatant animal abuse; the ensuing fall would seriously injure competing equines (as well as their jockeys if they don't bail out beforehand). If the horse's self-preservation instinct kicks in before reaching the edge, the jockey will likely be severely injured in the process, an outcome which would likely garner a lot less pity. Both this segment and the title text may relate to Episode 354 of My Brother My Brother And Me, "Beanfreak", where a potential punishment for losing horses in a race is described as a trapdoor leading to a "pony pile" beneath the track. (Many of the podcast's episodes deal with horse racing and horse behavior, including some impassioned conversations on the performance of specific horses and the unregulated nature of the widely recognized Triple Crown achievement.)
|-
|🔪🏀⛏️
|Basketball shredding
|The apparent point of this sport is to compete to destroy basketballs as quickly and/or as thoroughly as possible. There is some transgressive appeal in mistreating sports equipment, but hardly enough to keep a captive audience.
|-
|🥚🔭🕵️‍♀️
|Eggspotting
|This could be a combination of {{w|Egg_hunt|egg hunting}} and {{w|birdwatching}}. The emojis imply that said eggs would have to be found alone in nature, as if they were wild animals. This is unlikely, to say the least.
|-
|⛷️🐊
|Alligator jumping
|An unusual combination of attributes, and to get the alligators to adapt to a cold environment might be a challenge. The emoji is actually a crocodile.
|-
|👩🎣🧜‍♂️
|Merfishing
|Unless humans volunteer to get in costume, this sport is unlikely to have any successes, due to the rarity or nonexistence of {{w|Mermaid|mermaids}}.
|-
|👨🏸🧚🏸👩
|Tinkerball
|Playing badminton with a fairy, named after [[wikipedia:Tinker Bell|Tinker Bell]]. Likely to injure the fairy.
|-
|🥌🦔🥌
|Hedgehog curling
|Hedgehogs are not ideal projectiles for sports, as ''Alice in Wonderland'' has already demonstrated, and such an idea would likely be considered animal abuse on top of the impracticality.
|-
|🗜️🍔
|Burger clamping
|Perhaps a challenge to fit a tall burger into a bite-sized height, though said clamp is more likely to pierce the burger than to flatten it.
|-
|👩‍🚀🏹🛰️
|Consequence archery
|Archery on a space station would lead to the potentially explosive decompression of the space station, and necessitate the evacuation of the astronauts aboard.
|-
|🦉➡️📬
|Owlstuffing
|This appears to consist of attempting to stuff owls into mailboxes, which would be doubly illegal, because it would be cruel to the owls and interfere with delivery of the mail. The mailbox is shown with the flag up, which normally indicates that there is mail in it, but it appears to be empty, perhaps so that the owl can be stuffed in it. Possibly a reference to owls carrying mail in the Harry Potter series.
|-
|🍴🕯️🍴
|Candle eating
|An even more unhealthy form of {{w|competitive eating}}. Eating large amounts of candle wax can cause {{w|Bowel_obstruction|intestinal obstruction}}.
|-
|⛳💣🏌️‍♀️
|Consequence golf
|Golfing with a bomb would likely significantly reduce the par on each hole, and there would be definite damage to the course and golfers unless the holes extinguished the bombs of skilled golfers. The balance and rolling of the balls would also be impeded by the fuses and caps, and there is a possibility of fires starting from a lit fuse making contact with the green.
|-
|👉🐍👈
|Snake shaming
|Probably a play on snake charming. Also a possible reference to the biblical story where the snake is shamed for deceiving mankind by being doomed to crawl on its belly.
|-
|🔥🧗‍♀️🔥
|Hell escape
|Trying to escape the {{w|lake of fire}} is the pastime of damned souls.
|-
|🎮🥑🎮
|Multiplayer avocado
|Unless a game based on avocados is the subject, there is, to say the least, a hardware compatibility issue here. Very different from the adult version, multiplayer eggplant (🎮🍆🎮; see [[1870: Emoji Movie Reviews]]).
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:<big>New sports</big>
:created from random emoji

:[Man Playing Water Polo + Volcano]
:🤽‍♂️🌋 Lavaball

:[Woman Playing Handball + Person Fencing]
:🤾‍♀️🤺 Bladeball

:[Woman Dancing (2 emojis) + Soccer Ball]
:💃💃⚽ Fancyball

:[Hole + Horse Racing (3 emojis)]
:🕳️🏇🏇🏇 Horse hole

:[Kitchen Knife + Basketball + Pick]
:🔪🏀⛏️ Basketball shredding

:[Egg + Telescope + Woman Detective]
:🥚🔭🕵️‍♀️ Eggspotting

:[Skier + Crocodile]
:⛷️🐊 Alligator jumping

:[Woman + Fishing Pole + Merman]
:👩🎣🧜‍♂️ Merfishing

:[Man + Badminton + Fairy + Badminton + Woman]
:👨🏸🧚🏸👩 Tinkerball

:[Curling Stone + Hedgehog + Curling Stone]
:🥌🦔🥌 Hedgehog curling

:[Clamp + Hamburger]
:🗜️🍔 Burger clamping

:[Woman Astronaut + Bow and Arrow + Satellite]
:👩‍🚀🏹🛰️ Consequence archery

:[Owl + Right Arrow + Open Mailbox]
:🦉➡️📬 Owlstuffing

:[Fork and Knife + Candle + Fork and Knife]
:🍴🕯️🍴 Candle eating

:[Flag in Hole + Bomb + Woman Golfing]
:⛳💣🏌️‍♀️ Consequence golf

:[Pointing Right + Snake + Pointing Left]
:👉🐍👈 Snake shaming

:[Fire + Woman Climbing + Fire]
:🔥🧗‍♀️🔥 Hell escape

:[Video Game + Avocado + Video Game]
:🎮🥑🎮 Multiplayer avocado

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Emoji]]

Talk:1920: Emoji Sports

2017-11-24T11:22:20Z

141.101.104.239:

1820: Security Advice

2017-04-05T17:06:58Z

141.101.104.239: /* Security Tip Explanations */

{{comic
| number = 1820
| date = April 5, 2017
| title = Security Advice
| image = security_advice.png
| titletext = Never give your password or bank account number to anyone who doesn't have a blue check mark next to their name.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Incomplete. TBD:Complete tip explanations Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The comic depicts a conversation between [[Cueball]] and [[Ponytail]], discussing the fact that giving people security advice has failed to improve their internet security, and in some cases even made things worse (such as requiring complicated passwords leading to people leaving post-it notes with their passwords on their screen, leading to huge security risks). As a result Cueball suggests {{w|reverse psychology|giving bad advice instead}}, in hopes of a positive effect. The last panel contains a list these security tips, which are parodies of actual security tips.

The list header includes an instruction to "print out this list and keep in in your bank safe deposit box", which is a standard recommendation for documents that must be kept secure because they are irreplaceable and/or contain sensitive information. Putting a list of tips in a safe deposit box would be counterproductive, since the purpose of such a list is to serve as a ready reminder.

The issue of passwords and computer security was covered in [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/936:_Password_Strength 936: Password Strength].

The last tip on the image is most likely a reference to Ingmar Bergman's film [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Seventh_Seal#Synopsis The Seventh Seal].

===Security Tip Explanations===
{| class="wikitable"
!Security Tip
!Explanation
|-
|Don't click links to websites
|The usual tip is "Don't click on ''suspicious'' website links." The comic's variation instead implies don't click on any links to any websites, or don't use the internet.
|-
|Use prime numbers in your password
|Long prime numbers are an essential part of modern cryptography and security systems, but don't have any effect when being used in passwords, except for maybe being harder to remember. In addition, if people were to regularly use prime numbers in their passwords, it would actually make passwords ''easier'' to guess, as it would substantially shrink the search space.
|-
|Change your password manager monthly
|It is often recommended to change passwords on a regular basis. However, changing password managers monthly would be quite impractical.
|-
|Hold your breath while crossing the border
|This in itself wouldn't do anything, but if you hold your breath for too long you could pass out when crossing, or look stressed/suspicious. Overall, this would not help you.
|-
|Install a secure font
|A real tip might be "Install a secure browser" especially when many people used [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_Explorer_6 Internet Explorer 6]. Using a different font on a computer would not help one's internet security. Reference to Turing-complete kerning specification language in OpenType fonts.
|-
|Use a 2-factor smoke detector
|{{w|Multi-factor authentication|Two factor authentication}} describes the practice of using two different identification factors (such as a password and a code from a secure token) to authenticate the user. A two factor smoke detector presumably uses two or more factors to identify ''smoke'' (such as {{w|Smoke_detector#Ionization|ionization}} and {{w|Smoke_detector#Photoelectric|photoelectric}}). Such devices [https://web.archive.org/web/20120416013553/http://www.systemsensor.com/lifesafety/2011/05/sophisticated-strategic-fire-and-life-safety-in-mission-critical-applications/| actually exist], but, while improving the users general safety, they do nothing to improve their internet security.
|-
|Change your maiden name regularly
|The usual tip is to change your passwords regularly. Some password recovery procedures ask for a security question, like "what is your maiden name" (which is the family name that you were born with). Since it acts as a second password, it should also be changed regularly. Changing it, however, would be very difficult or even impossible, even more so on a regular basis. Also, maiden names and other trivia typically asked by security questions are not secret, so they are inherently not secure.
A real tip for dealing with security questions would be to enter false data.
|-
|Put strange USB drives in a bag of rice overnight
|The usual security tip is "Don't plug strange USB drives into your computer," because sometimes attackers put viruses that infect your system when plugged in. This tip implies that you should "put USB drives in a bag of rice overnight" which is a common technique for drying out water damaged devices, due to rice's absorbent qualities. This would not clean the drive of viruses, and unless the drive was wet (perhaps because you found it outside due to it being called "strange") it would not do anything.
|-
|Use special characters like & and %
|You can use special characters to increase the entropy/strength of your password, though as describe in [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/936:_Password_Strength xkcd 936], that often leads to passwords that are hard to remember but not particularly strong. The password context is missing here, and in everyday situations the characters & and % are not special.
|-
|Only read content published through Tor.com
|[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tor_(anonymity_network) Tor] is a software solution to provide anonymity on the web for its users. The website [https://tor.com Tor.com] is the website of fantasy and sci-fi book publisher Tor, which has no relation to the Tor-network.
|-
|Use a burner's phone
|A play on using a burner phone (a cheap/disposable cell phone like those purchased at 7-11, often used for drug deals or other activity one might not want traced), and using the cell phone of a burner, i.e. a person who goes to the the Burning Man festival.
|-
|Get an SSL certificate and store it in a safe place
|SSL/TLS is a protocol for securing connections on the internet. To check if someone is who he claims to be you can check the individuals certificate. Such a certificate has to be public, storing it in a safe place makes the certificate useless. You have to store the private key that matches the certificate in a safe place, else someone could steal the identity.
|-
|If a border guard asks to examine your laptop, you have a legal right to challenge them to a chess game for your soul.
|This tip is likely a reference to Ingmar Bergman's film [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Seventh_Seal#Synopsis The Seventh Seal]
|-
|Never give your password or bank account number to anyone who doesn't have a blue check mark next to their name. (Title Text)
|The usual security tip here is ''"only trust accounts claiming to be legitimate if they have a blue check mark next to their name"'', which means that the account is verified as legitimate. This tip suggests only giving your ''password'' to verified accounts, although you shouldn't give your password to ''any'' account.
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:Ponytail: We've been trying for decades to give people good security advice.
:Ponytail: But in retrospect, lots of the tips actually made things worse.

:Cueball: Maybe we should try to give ''bad'' advice?
:Ponytail: I guess it's worth a shot.

:Security tips
:(Print out this list and keep it in your bank safe deposit box.)
* Don't click links to websites
* Use prime numbers in your password
* Change your password manager monthly
* Hold your breath while crossing the border
* Install a secure font
* User a 2-factor smoke detector
* Change your maiden name regularly
* Put strange USB drives in a bag of rice overnight
* Use special characters like & and %
* Only read content published through Tor.com
* Use a burner's phone
* Get an SSL certificate and store it in a safe place
* If a border guard asks to examine your laptop, you have a legal right to challenge them to a chess game for your soul.

{{comic discussion}}

Talk:1799: Bad Map Projection: Time Zones

2017-02-15T06:38:39Z

141.101.104.239:

"Screw Hawaii and the rest of the Pacific!" [[User:Z|Z]] ([[User talk:Z|talk]]) 04:56, 15 February 2017 (UTC)

It is actually way less distorting than I expected [[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.239|141.101.104.239]] 06:38, 15 February 2017 (UTC)

Talk:1784: Bad Map Projection: Liquid Resize

2017-01-11T07:50:29Z

141.101.104.239:

I'm not too experienced with PhotoShop, but I think that the tool is a selective delete that he used on water bodies, so removing most of the water while maintaining relative shapes and sizes?
Mostly just from the fact that India looks desiccated.
[[Special:Contributions/162.158.166.197|162.158.166.197]] 05:06, 11 January 2017 (UTC)Girish
Australia is pretty mutilated, so I think the tool was used on land too [[Special:Contributions/162.158.178.111|162.158.178.111]] 05:55, 11 January 2017 (UTC)

Where are Laos and Cambodia missing? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.246.11|108.162.246.11]] 06:14, 11 January 2017 (UTC)

The tool removes spaces of uniform color automagically. If you have big countries like India or Australia, they get caught by the algorithm as well. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.69.9|162.158.69.9]] 06:16, 11 January 2017 (UTC)

Can anybody figure out the projection before the application of the tool? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.232|108.162.219.232]] 06:58, 11 January 2017 (UTC)
I think it is a Mercator projection that got mutilated. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.239|141.101.104.239]] 07:50, 11 January 2017 (UTC)