explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

16: Monty Python -- Enough

2021-01-06T01:51:35Z

162.158.74.45: /* Explanation */ Replace "his" with gender-neutral "their" in the last sentence of the first paragraph because teenagers of both genders do it

{{comic
| number = 16
| date = October 4, 2005
| title = Monty Python -- Enough
| image = monty python.jpg
| titletext = I went to a dinner where there was a full 10 minutes of Holy Grail quotes exchanged, with no context, in lieu of conversation. It depressed me badly.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic refers to the classic British sketch comedy group {{w|Monty Python}}, active primarily during the 1970s and early 1980s but also {{w|Monty Python Live (Mostly)|partly reunified in 2014}}, whose humor style was frequently based on surreal jokes that subverted sense and logic. Their sketches are so popular that, as noted in the comic, many fans can repeat the dialog word-for-word, and often do. This comic points out the inherent irony of repeating a surrealist sketch, as surrealist humor primarily depends on presenting something the audience does not expect. By repeating the sketch verbatim among those who have already seen it, the listeners know and expect the punchlines and jokes. This is akin to a common ironic concept of a teenager who wants to rebel against conformity by doing all the things their friends are also doing.

The sketch in question here is the "{{w|Knights who say Ni}}" sketch from the film ''{{w|Monty Python and the Holy Grail}}'', about a group of knights who protect certain sacred words, including the word "Ni" (pronounced like the word "knee," but shortened and with more staccato).

The comic suggests that readers continue in the surreal traditions of Monty Python, and provides an example: The character in panels 3-6 interrupts his retelling of the sketch with what appears to be a traumatic recalling of the time he saw someone run a woman over with their car and kill her, before returning to the sketch. The surreal humor is that the character dismisses the significant and serious comment he has just made by returning to the sketch as if nothing happened.

The title text refers to how fans of Monty Python can go for long periods of time simply quoting the sketches, as one person quotes a sketch, another recognizes it and says another quote without context, assuming everyone will recognize it. Perhaps a more contemporary version of this might be ''{{w|The Simpsons}}'' or ''{{w|Family Guy}}'' quote frenzies.

==Transcript==
:[The comic is drawn on blue-ruled graph paper.]
:[Cueball with raised hands talks to two other Cueball-like characters and one Megan]
:Cueball: We are the Knights who say... Ni!!
:Two Cueballs and Megan: hahaha
:[There is only text in the second panel]
:Does anyone else find it funny that decades later, people are still quoting --word-for-word-- a group loved for their mastery of shock, the unexpected, and defiance of convention?
:[Two Cueballs guys looking at a third hairy guy.]
:Hairy guy: We are the Knights who... oh, God, I'm so sorry
:[Close up off hairy guy's face.]
:Hairy guy: So sorry, the car just came too fast and
:[Words crumpled inside the panel, there's barely enough space for the hairy guy to the right and below the text. The last two words need to be to the right of him.]
:Hairy guy:
::She was right there and
::I saw her and then it
::was a blur and so much
::I ran to
::help didn't
::know what
::she wasn't
::moving I'm
::so sorry
:
::...
:::so
:::sorry
:[Same two guys looking again at the hairy guy.]
:Hairy guy: Anyway, yeah, Knights who say "Ni."
:[Last panel is also almost only text written centered, in marquee format. Below is a drawing that could look like a flat infinity sign with two small lines at the center.]
:Honor
:Monty Python:
:promote surreal humor.

==Trivia==
*This was the 15th comic originally posted to [[LiveJournal]].
**The previous was [[15: Just Alerting You]].
**The next was [[17: What If]].
*Original title: "Support Surreal Humor"
*Original [[Randall]] quote: "Just sayin'. It's been 30 years now."
*This comic was posted on [[xkcd]] when the web site opened on Sunday the 1st of January 2006.
**It was posted along [[:Category:First day on xkcd|with all 41 comics]] posted before that on LiveJournal as well as a few others.
**The latter explaining why the numbers of these 41 LiveJournal comics ranges from 1-44.
*This is a Wednesday comic posted on a Tuesday, but only 2 minutes before midnight at 11:58 pm.
**It is the first Tuesday release, although [[5: Blown apart]] is also listed as a Tuesday release. But its release day is set 3 weeks later. The mismatch comes from the xkcd release mentioned above.
*One of the original drawings drawn on [[:Category:Checkered paper|checkered paper]].
*This could be a first version of [[Hairy]]. But it is still some way of the one listed as the first Hairy appearance 45 comics later in [[61: Stacey's Dad]].
**However, that "first" version is also far from what he looks like in the picture shown on the Hairy page.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics posted on livejournal| 15]]
[[Category:First day on xkcd]]
[[Category:Checkered paper]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Fiction]]

Talk:2282: Coronavirus Worries

2020-03-19T02:04:35Z

162.158.74.45:

Props to Randall for not mentioning toilet paper ONCE [[Special:Contributions/172.69.34.88|172.69.34.88]] 21:08, 18 March 2020 (UTC)

The transcript states that the axis lines do not have arrows on them. It should describe the arrows on labels, i.e. More common with arrow pointing to the right. [[User:Rtanenbaum|Rtanenbaum]] ([[User talk:Rtanenbaum|talk]]) 23:52, 18 March 2020 (UTC)

My initial take on the More Healthy axis reflected on the person doing the worrying, that is some worries would be more or less common depending on the health of the person. The explanation interprets More Healthy to refer to the worry itself, that is some worries are intrinsically more healthy than others. I am at a loss to determine which of these interpretations more closely fits the worries that are listed. [[User:Rtanenbaum|Rtanenbaum]] ([[User talk:Rtanenbaum|talk]]) 23:52, 18 March 2020 (UTC)

"with at least eight in a row" -- this is getting hecka tiresome. Surely he can think of _something_ other than the flu 2.0.
Wouldn't it be interesting if your dismissive "flu 2.0" led you be infected by the Coronavirus....[[Special:Contributions/162.158.214.136|162.158.214.136]] 01:32, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
For most people in not-at-risk groupings (meaning not elderly, infants, or immuno-compromised), it really isn't that big of a hit to their health. The risk is not that a young/middle-aged person gets sick, the risk is that they spread it to someone who is in an at-risk segment. Nevertheless, people die all the time from the regular flu, and not in trivial numbers. This isn't that much different. More people are going to be hurt much worse from losing their jobs (hospitality, entertainment, service ... and the industries that support them), incomes, and probably homes than would have been from this.

Talk:2062: Barnard's Star

2018-10-22T21:18:11Z

162.158.74.45:

Uh . . . I'm pretty sure that stars don't talk. {{unsigned ip|172.68.58.113}}
: And [[1578|squirrels don't ring]]. This comic can be absurd sometimes. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.141.58|172.68.141.58]] 17:05, 22 October 2018 (UTC)
::{{Citation needed}} --[[Special:Contributions/172.68.54.160|172.68.54.160]] 18:05, 22 October 2018 (UTC)
:Why are you so sure that stars don't talk? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.38.70|162.158.38.70]] 18:23, 22 October 2018 (UTC)
:I think it was a NOVA doco where they describe the inner workings of the sun and how hydrogen atoms, photons, plasma, and magnetic flux interact, and it sounded a heck of a lot like the function of neurons and signals in the brain. Maybe I was just high, but I got to thinking that, with photons from every star in the universe connecting to every other star, the stars are in constant communication with eachother in some sort of neural-like network with each star having it's own neural-like network complete with it's own sentient thoughts (albeit probably far outside the realm of our imagination). FORTY TWO!

2056: Horror Movies

2018-10-08T20:33:45Z

162.158.74.45:

{{comic
| number = 2056
| date = October 8, 2018
| title = Horror Movies
| image = horror_movies.png
| titletext = "Isn't the original Jurassic Park your favorite movie of all time?" "Yes, but that's because I like dinosaurs and I WANT there to be an island full of them. If John Hammond's lab had been breeding serial killers in creepy masks, I wouldn't have watched!" "Wait, are you sure? That could actually be good." "Ok, I WOULD watch the scenes where Jeff Goldblum tries to convince a bunch of executives that the park is a bad idea."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Please edit the explanation below and only mention here why it isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

[[Randall]], represented by [[Cueball]], seems to find {{w|horror movies}} ruthless exploitations of viewers' nightmares, fears, revulsions and terror of the unknown, or, more concisely, a crude desire to see "terrible things happen to people."

A {{w|Horror_film|Horror movie}} is a {{w|Film_genre|genre}} of {{w|movie|movie or film}} which attempts to elicit the emotional response of {{w|fear}} in the viewer. Some enjoy that type of movie because it allows them to experience and release that emotion, perhaps as a form of {{w|catharsis}} or release. Others take a more detached view and enjoy watching bad things happen to other people, perhaps deriving humor or enjoyment out of a situation that they are glad not to be in themselves.

The title text refers to the ''{{w|Jurassic Park (film)|Jurassic Park film}}'', which could be considered a "horror" film, as there are elements of fear and terror. However, it is usually placed in the adventure or science fiction genre. Randall, instead of claiming that ''Jurassic Park'' isn't a horror film, replies by saying that he likes dinosaurs and would be pleased to visit an amusement park for dinosaurs. "Serial killers in creepy masks" refers to a horror movie trope from the ''{{w|Halloween (franchise)|Halloween}}'' and the ''{{w|Friday the 13th (franchise)|Friday the 13th}}'' series of films, among others. Randall's final comment indicates that though he does not like horror films, he does like {{w|Jeff Goldblum}} (more correctly, {{w|Ian Malcolm (Jurassic Park character)|Ian Malcolm}}), and would watch his ill-fated attempts to prevent the brilliant idea of breeding serial killers.

==Transcript==
:[White Hat and Cueball are standing together and talking. White Hat points at Cueball who has raised his arms.]
:White Hat: Wanna see a horror movie?
:Cueball: Sure! I love watching terrible things happen to people and feeling afraid!

:[Caption below the frame:]
:I know everyone's into what they're into, but I have never understood horror movies.

== Trivia ==
In early issues, [[Randall]] frequently referenced his fear of [[:Category:Velociraptors|velociraptors]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Jurassic Park]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Dinosaurs]]

1681: Laser Products

2018-05-18T14:43:09Z

162.158.74.45:

{{comic
| number = 1681
| date = May 16, 2016
| title = Laser Products
| image = laser_products.png
| titletext = ERRORS: HAIR JAM. COLOR-SAFE CONDITIONER CARTRIDGE RUNNING LOW. LEGAL-SIZE HAIR TRAY EMPTY, USING LETTER-SIZE HAIR ONLY.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic takes three laser-based technologies - laser eye surgery, laserjet printers, and laser hair removal - and conflates them, with humorous results. These are illustrated through reviews by users of the resulting combinations. For the original combinations, the reviews are highly positive. For the new combinations, most are negative, because most of these new "technologies" are ill-conceived and possibly harmful.

'''Laser eye surgery''' gets a positive review, since it has successfully corrected the reviewer's vision, so that they no longer require glasses. There are a range of laser eye surgeries to correct near- and far-sightedness, as well as various other conditions. {{w|LASIK}}, one of the more common laser eye surgeries, works by using lasers to cut open the cornea and ablate a small amount of the lens.

'''Laser eye removal''' would be very painful, and thus the review is negative, stating that the reviewer had read the description incorrectly, likely believing it to be one of the real combinations on the chart. The screams of pain expressed in the review have the humorous implication that the review is being typed directly after the ill-advised procedure, though this may just be an after-the-fact expression of the reviewer's feelings. If they produced the review without aid, this would probably have been made more difficult as a result of the surgery.

'''Laser eye printer''' refers to printing on (or possibly ''of'') an eyeball, which only prompts a disgusted "Eww" response.

'''Laser jet surgery''' could be performing maintenance on a jet with lasers, which would be potentially dangerous and error-prone{{Citation needed}}. Alternatively, it could mean laser surgery done on a human from a jet aircraft, using a laser mounted to it. The human being operated on could be aboard that aircraft, on another aircraft, or on land: in any case, it does not sound like a safe approach. Another interpretation is that it could refer to surgery using a jet made of lasers, which is even worse, as it would probably cause the entire body to be disintegrated.{{Citation needed}} The ambiguity of the phrase may contribute to the reviewer's concern.

'''Laser jet removal''' appears to be the destruction of jets with lasers, which apparently works, but angered the Federal Aviation Administration, and probably resulted in legal consequences for the reviewer. This could be a reference to [https://www.faa.gov/about/initiatives/lasers/ the real FAA concern] of the many incidents of [http://www.laserpointersafety.com/laser-hazards_aircraft/laser-hazards_aircraft.html people using laser pointers] against aircraft.[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laser_Weapon_System "Laser Jet Removal"] actually exists as a military weapon system, though it's primarily meant to be used against jet ''missiles'', rather than jet planes.

'''LaserJet printer''' is a popular {{w|HP LaserJet|line of Hewlett Packard laser printers}}. {{w|Laser printing}} is a technology which uses a laser to electrically charge a drum so that it collects ink in the form of the image to be printed, before transferring it to paper. The printer seems to work well for the reviewer, as it has been given a positive review.

'''Laser hair surgery''' turns out to be a fancy name for cutting hair with a laser -- an overengineered, and potentially dangerous, technique for achieving the same results that you could with clippers and scissors. It is rated neutrally, since it did the job, but the reviewer found the name confusing and they disliked the smell of burning hair.

'''Laser hair removal''' is the {{w|laser hair removal|process}} of destroying hair follicles with bursts of laser light to prevent the growth of unwanted hair. This appears to have been effective for the reviewer.

'''Laser hair printer''' appears to be a bizarre printer that uses hair in place of paper, or perhaps as the construction material for a {{w|3D printing|3D printer}}. Unsurprisingly, this just creates disgusting messes of hair and keeps jamming the printer, resulting in a negative review. The title text extends this joke, giving some common printer error messages amended for the hair printer. A paper jam is when paper gets stuck in the workings of the printer, usually because it was creased, or more than one sheet fed in at once; in the hair printer this becomes a hair jam. An inkjet printer requires replaceable ink cartridges, and when the ink is used up this will usually result in an ink cartridge running low error; the hair printer appears to require cartridges of {{w|hair conditioner}}. As an additional twist, it uses color-safe conditioner, a product intended to prevent the washing out of dye from the users hair; here, it presumably protects the colour of the printed image or item. Legal and Letter are {{w|Paper_size#North_American_paper_sizes|paper sizes}} used in North America; apparently, the same terms are used for standard supplies of hair for the hair printer.

Laser eye removal has been mentioned before, see the lower right part of the [[1619: Watson Medical Algorithm]] chart.
==Transcript==
:[Heading above the table:]
:Online Reviews of Laser Products

:[A three by three table with one word to the far left, from which three lines split out and goes to three words just left of each of the three rows. Above each column is three other words. Below in the table are nine reviews with star rating on a five star scale. The actual rating is indicated with black stars and also use half filled stars in the rating system. The ratings are written in the table in square brackets.]
:{| class="wikitable"
!colspan="2"|
! ...surgery
! ...removal
! ...printer
|-
!rowspan="3"|Laser
! eye...
| [4 1/2 stars] "I don't need glasses anymore!" || [1/2 star] "Aaaaaaa! Misread the description! Aaaaaaaaaaaa!!" || [1 star] "Eww." 
|-
! jet...
| [1 1/2 stars] "Too nervous to try it." || [2 1/2 stars] "Effective, but the FAA got ''really'' mad." || [4 stars] "Prints great!" 
|-
! hair...
| [2 1/2 stars] "Confusing term for haircut. Burning smell." || [4 stars] "Great results!" || [1/2 star] "Disgusting, won't turn off, jams constantly." 
|-
|}

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Charts]]

1995: MC Hammer Age

2018-05-18T14:36:26Z

162.158.74.45:

{{comic
| number = 1995
| date = May 18, 2018
| title = MC Hammer Age
| image = mc_hammer_age.png
| titletext = Wait, sorry, I got mixed up--he's actually almost 50. It's the kid from The Karate Kid who just turned 40.
}}

==Explanation==
This is yet another comic following the theme of facts that make you feel old. Here, Cueball is telling White Hat that MC Hammer just turned 40, but this is actually less surprising than the truth, that he is actually over ten years older than that. The caption explains that this is another one of Randall's many hobbies, that he likes to tell inaccurate "feel old" facts which are less dramatic than the truth; this creates a one-two punch effect when the audience looks it up and finds out that the truth makes them feel even older. This is continued in the title text, when even the corrections are both "lowballed" facts, still preserving the effect while adding more credibility to the claims.
On the day this comic came out, both {{w|MC Hammer}} and {{w|Ralph Macchio}} (the actor who starred in the first three {{w|The Karate Kid|Karate Kid}} movies) were 56 years old.
This is yet another entry into the "[[My Hobby]]" series.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and White Hat are walking.]
:Cueball: Want to feel old? MC Hammer just turned 40.
:White Hat: Wow.
:White Hat: I mean, I guess that's not too surprising, right?
:White Hat: It's been a long time.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:My Hobby: Deliberately lowballing "Want to feel old" factoids to set up a bigger payoff later when they learn the correct number.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics to make one feel old]]
[[Category:My Hobby]]

1346: Career

2018-03-20T15:20:51Z

162.158.74.45:

{{comic
| number = 1346
| date = March 24, 2014
| title = Career
| image = career.png
| titletext = They'd convince me to come out of retirement for one last job: biting into a giant lump of slightly soft wax a couple of times.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is presumably asked to answer the typical {{w|Career counseling|career counselor}} question: What is your dream job? Rather than going with the more common answers that are designed to increase the chances of landing that particular job, Cueball talks about unrealistic jobs that are whimsical, and so well compensated that a little over one hour on the clock would provide enough wealth for a luxurious retirement; of course, you can have such a job only in your dreams. He makes jobs out of tasks that people do when they are bored, whether the tasks needed to be done or not. Therefore, if he did not get the job he probably would have done them at some point anyway.

Peeling lint off {{w|Clothes dryer#Tumbler dryers|dryer traps}} can relieve boredom, but it gets tedious soon, so Cueball wants to do that only for 5 minutes, followed by an hour of holding the handle of a {{w|lightsaber}} against things and switching it on. The energy emitted by this fictional weapon will probably burn, melt or cut the object it is touching as demonstrated in a scene from {{w|Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace|Star Wars Episode I}}, where Jedi {{w|Qui-Gon Jinn}} uses his lightsaber to cut through a wall. Later, {{w| Star Wars: The Last Jedi}} turned out to demonstrate a lightsaber being placed against something before being switched on-- on the head of a Praetorian Guard. In Cueball's mind these are probably high paying jobs, because after this he would like to retire to a life of luxury.

The title text is poking fun at Hollywood films, particularly stories about violent professions (like mobsters, hitmen, detective or spies) where the hero is retired, but some unforeseen circumstance has forced them out of retirement to do "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OneLastJob one last job]." Usually in these films, the jobs are overtly, improbably dangerous, often with the suggestion that they may lose their lives doing it, but the reward for doing the job (saving the world, a ton of cash, an unresolved debt) is just too great to refuse. However, in this comic the joke is that his "one last job" is also a mildly amusing task designed to relieve boredom.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball stands facing a desk, behind which another person is sitting in a desk chair.]
:Cueball: It would start with five minutes of peeling lint from dryer traps, followed by an hour of pressing a lightsaber handle against things and switching it on. Then I'd retire to a life of luxury.

:When people ask me to describe my dream job, I'm never sure how realistic to be.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]

1681: Laser Products

2018-03-01T15:52:21Z

162.158.74.45:

{{comic
| number = 1681
| date = May 16, 2016
| title = Laser Products
| image = laser_products.png
| titletext = ERRORS: HAIR JAM. COLOR-SAFE CONDITIONER CARTRIDGE RUNNING LOW. LEGAL-SIZE HAIR TRAY EMPTY, USING LETTER-SIZE HAIR ONLY.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic takes three laser-based technologies - laser eye surgery, laserjet printers, and laser hair removal - and conflates them, with humorous results. These are illustrated through reviews by users of the resulting combinations. For the original combinations, the reviews are highly positive. For the new combinations, most are negative, because most of these new "technologies" are ill-conceived and possibly harmful.

'''Laser eye surgery''' gets a positive review, since it has successfully corrected the reviewer's vision, no longer requiring them to use glasses. However, '''laser eye removal''' would be very painful, and thus the review is negative, stating that the reviewer had read the description incorrectly, likely believing it to be one of the real combinations on the chart. The screams of pain expressed in the review have the humorous implication that the review is being typed directly after the failed procedure, though this may just be an after-the-fact expression of the reviewer's feelings. If they produced the review without aid, they must have had only one eye accidentally removed via laser, quickly learning not to proceed for both if originally intended. (This is not the first time laser eye removal has been mentioned, see the lower right part in the [[1619: Watson Medical Algorithm]] chart.) '''Laser eye printer''' refers to printing on (or possibly ''of'') an eyeball, which only prompts a disgusted "Eww" response.

'''Laser jet surgery''' makes the reviewer nervous, as performing maintenance on a jet with lasers is potentially dangerous and could easily be done incorrectly{{Citation needed}}. Alternatively, laser jet surgery could mean laser surgery done on a human from a jet aircraft with a laser mounted to it (unspecified whether the human being operated on is aboard that aircraft as well, another aircraft, or on land: in any case, not a safe idea). Another interpretation is that it could refer to surgery using a jet made of lasers, which is even worse and would likely cause the entire body to be disintegrated.{{Citation needed}} The ambiguity of the phrase may contribute to the person's concern. '''Laser jet removal''' implies the destruction of jets with lasers, which works, but angers the Federal Aviation Administration, and probably resulted in legal consequences for the reviewer. "Laser jet removal" may also refer to [https://www.faa.gov/about/initiatives/lasers/ the real FAA concern] of the many incidents [http://www.laserpointersafety.com/laser-hazards_aircraft/laser-hazards_aircraft.html of people using laser pointers] against aircraft.'''Laserjet printing''' gets a positive review, as it is legitimate printing technology that works well for the reviewer.

'''Laser hair surgery''' is rated neutrally, with the reviewer pointing out that they consider the phrase to be bizarre and obfuscating -- for the user, it amounted to little more than a normal haircut -- and they note that the using a laser to cut hair results in a smell of burning hair. '''Laser hair removal''' is reviewed well, as it is a real process that effectively removes unwanted hair. '''Laser hair printer''' is implied to be a bizarre scenario involving hair being printed on with an office laserjet printer. This is negatively reviewed for being disgusting, the printer jamming, and the machine being unable to stop printing the hair.

The title text expands on the laser hair printer from the last entry, displaying standard printer error messages, replacing "paper" with "hair". It also replaces "ink" with "color-safe conditioner". Legal and Letter are {{w|Paper_size#North_American_paper_sizes|paper sizes}} used in North America.

===Laser eye surgery===
LASIK, one of the more common laser eye surgeries, works by cutting open the cornea and ablating a small amount of the lens. Lasers are used for both steps. This, or equivalent, is the referenced surgery. There are other laser eye surgeries for various other conditions besides near- and far-sightedness.

===Laserjet printing===
LaserJet is a brand name used by Hewlett Packard (HP) for its line of laser printers.

Laser printing is an electrostatic digital printing process. It produces high-quality text and graphics (and moderate-quality photographs) by repeatedly passing a laser beam back and forth over a negatively charged cylinder called a "drum" to define a differentially-charged image. The drum then selectively collects electrically charged powdered ink (toner), and transfers the image to paper, which is then heated in order to permanently fuse the text and/or imagery. As with digital photocopiers and multifunction/all-in-one inkjet printers, laser printers employ a xerographic printing process. However, laser printing differs from analog photocopiers in that the image is produced by the direct scanning of the medium across the printer's photoreceptor. This enables laser printing to copy images more quickly than most photocopiers.

===Laser hair removal===
Laser hair removal is the process of removing unwanted hair by means of exposure to pulses of laser light that destroy the hair follicle. It had been performed experimentally for about twenty years before becoming commercially available in the mid-1990s. One of the first published articles describing laser hair removal was authored by the group at Massachusetts General Hospital in 1998.The efficacy of laser hair removal is now generally accepted in the dermatology community,[citation needed] and laser hair removal is widely practiced in clinics, and even in homes using devices designed and priced for consumer self-treatment. Many reviews of laser hair removal methods, safety, and efficacy have been published in the dermatology literature.

Lastly, as an aside, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laser_Weapon_System "Laser Jet Removal"] actually exists as a military weapon system. Although it's primarily meant to be used against jet ''missiles'' not jet planes (as the FAA quip suggests).

==Transcript==
:[Heading above the table:]
:Online Reviews of Laser Products

:[A three by three table with one word to the far left, from which three lines split out and goes to three words just left of each of the three rows. Above each column is three other words. Below in the table are nine reviews with star rating on a five star scale. The actual rating is indicated with black stars and also use half filled stars in the rating system. The ratings are written in the table in square brackets.]
:{| class="wikitable"
!colspan="2"|
! ...surgery
! ...removal
! ...printer
|-
!rowspan="3"|Laser
! eye...
| [4 1/2 stars] "I don't need glasses anymore!" || [1/2 star] "Aaaaaaa! Misread the description! Aaaaaaaaaaaa!!" || [1 star] "Eww." 
|-
! jet...
| [1 1/2 stars] "Too nervous to try it." || [2 1/2 stars] "Effective, but the FAA got ''really'' mad." || [4 stars] "Prints great!" 
|-
! hair...
| [2 1/2 stars] "Confusing term for haircut. Burning smell." || [4 stars] "Great results!" || [1/2 star] "Disgusting, won't turn off, jams constantly." 
|-
|}

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Charts]]

1920: Emoji Sports

2018-03-01T15:40:12Z

162.158.74.45:

{{comic
| number = 1920
| date = November 24, 2017
| title = Emoji Sports
| image = emoji_sports.png
| titletext = No horse has yet managed the elusive Quadruple Crown—winning the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness, the Belmont Stakes, and the Missouri Horse Hole.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic, as the heading indicates, arbitrarily selects emoji and uses them to make up very bizarre sports. Although some of these might be completely normal, most of them take things to a completely absurd level.

The title text is a reference to the triple crown, which is an highly prestigious award given to a three-year-old thoroughbred horse who wins the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness Stakes, and the Belmont Stakes, the first three of the four listed events. The joke is that if Horse Hole was a real sport, then one who won a major competition for it, the Missouri Horse Hole, in addition to the three main horse racing events, would win a “Quadruple Crown".
{| class="wikitable"
!scope="col" style="width: 100px;" |Emoji
!scope="col" style="width: 150px;" |Sport
!scope="col" |Description
|-
|🤽‍♂️🌋
|Lavaball
|Sets the sport of water polo around or inside an active volcano. If the water is simply replaced with lava, the players would asphyxiate from the toxic fumes long before they burned to death in the molten rock. If a typical pool of water is involved, the introduction of lava would cause rapid evaporation and the release of {{w|Chlorine#Use_as_a_weapon|chlorine gas}}, which is destructive to living tissue. In any case, this game is not a good idea.{{Citation needed}}
|-ly o
|🤾‍♀️🤺
|Bladeball
|Using a fencing foil to hit a ball would not only be inefficient, but would easily lead to the destruction of the ball instead.
|-
|💃💃⚽
|Fancyball
|Soccer played in high heels and dresses would be a problem for both kicking and running, with the grassy terrain exacerbating these issues, and these would lead to frequent injury.{{Citation needed}}
|-
|🕳️🏇🏇🏇
|Horse hole
| Jockeys ride their horses into a large pit. Needless to say, such a sport would constitute blatant animal abuse; the ensuing fall would seriously injure competing equines (as well as their jockeys if they don't bail out beforehand). If the horse's self-preservation instinct kicks in before reaching the edge, the jockey will likely be severely injured in the process, an outcome which would likely garner a lot less pity. Both this segment and the title text may relate to Episode 354 of My Brother My Brother And Me, "Beanfreak", where a potential punishment for losing horses in a race is described as a trapdoor leading to a "pony pile" beneath the track. (Many of the podcast's episodes deal with horse racing and horse behavior, including some impassioned conversations on the performance of specific horses and the unregulated nature of the widely recognized Triple Crown achievement.)
|-
|🔪🏀⛏️
|Basketball shredding
|The apparent point of this sport is to compete to destroy basketballs as quickly and/or as thoroughly as possible. There is some transgressive appeal in mistreating sports equipment, but hardly enough to keep a captive audience.
|-
|🥚🔭🕵️‍♀️
|Eggspotting
|This could be a combination of {{w|Egg_hunt|egg hunting}} and {{w|birdwatching}}. The emojis may imply that said eggs would have to be found alone in nature, as if they were wild animals, though it might be spotting of eggs of the wild animals in their nests. If the latter is true, the humor arises from the situation being like a form of pre-emptive birdwatching, as the eggs will eventually hatch into birds, and such an activity might be considered easier, or "beginner-level", birdwatching, due to the eggs remaining in one place.
|-
|⛷️🐊
|Alligator jumping
|An unusual combination of attributes, and to get the alligators to adapt to a cold environment might be a challenge. The emoji is actually a crocodile.
|-
|👩🎣🧜‍♂️
|Merfishing
|Unless humans volunteer to get in costume, this sport is unlikely to have any successes, due to the nonexistence of {{w|Mermaid|mermaids}}.{{Citation needed}}
|-
|👨🏸🧚🏸👩
|Tinkerball
|Playing badminton with a fairy, named after [[wikipedia:Tinker Bell|Tinker Bell]]. Likely to injure the fairy, and such an activity runs the risk of the fairy flying away to escape the abuse.
|-
|🥌🦔🥌
|Hedgehog curling
|Hedgehogs are not ideal projectiles for sports, as {{w|Alice's Adventures in Wonderland}} has already demonstrated, and such an idea would be considered animal abuse on top of the impracticality. Nonetheless, hedgehogs are technically skilled at curling...their bodies.
|-
|🗜️🍔
|Burger clamping
|Perhaps a challenge to fit a tall burger into a bite-sized height, though said clamp would probably be more likely to pierce the burger than to flatten it.
|-
|👩‍🚀🏹🛰️
|Consequence archery
|Archery on a space station could cause damage to its structure leading to the potentially explosive decompression of the space station, and necessitate the evacuation of the astronauts aboard. If played outside, stray arrows could still cause disaster by setting space debris into motion or by hitting space vessels or equipment. Another dangerous consequence of shooting an arrow while floating in space without a jetpack would be that the shot propels the astronaut in the opposite direction of the arrow, setting him or her off to drift away helplessly into space.
|-
|🦉➡️📬
|Owlstuffing
|This appears to consist of attempting to stuff owls into mailboxes, which would be doubly illegal, because it would be cruel to the owls and interfere with delivery of the mail. The mailbox is shown with the flag up, which normally indicates that there is mail in it, but it appears to be empty, perhaps so that the owl can be stuffed in it. Possibly a reference to owls carrying mail in the Harry Potter series.
|-
|🍴🕯️🍴
|Candle eating
|An even more unhealthy form of {{w|competitive eating}}. Eating large amounts of candle wax can cause {{w|Bowel_obstruction|intestinal obstruction}}.
|-
|⛳💣🏌️‍♀️
|Consequence golf
|The "consequence" of this game is simple: the bomb's eventual explosion necessitates efficient playing. Golfing with a bomb would likely significantly reduce the par on each hole, depending on the length of the fuse, and due to the threat of explosion, it would probably not be possible to exceed par unless the golfer is also very fast. There would certainly be damage to the course and golfers unless the holes extinguished the bombs of golfers who succeeded in time. The balance and rolling of the bomb balls would also be impeded by the fuses and caps. The bombs would also need to be very small to be used with standard golf clubs.
|-
|👉🐍👈
|Snake shaming
|Probably a play on snake charming. Also a possible reference to the biblical story where the snake is shamed for deceiving mankind by being doomed to crawl on its belly.
|-
|🔥🧗‍♀️🔥
|Hell escape
|Trying to escape the {{w|lake of fire}} is the pastime of damned souls, but perhaps living people are instead sent there and have to return home.
|-
|🎮🥑🎮
|Multiplayer avocado
|Unless a game based on avocados is the subject, there is, to say the least, a hardware compatibility issue here. Very different from the adult version, multiplayer eggplant (🎮🍆🎮; see [[1870: Emoji Movie Reviews]]).
|}

==Transcript==

:<big>New sports</big>
:created from random emoji

:[Man Playing Water Polo + Volcano]
:🤽‍♂️🌋 Lavaball

:[Woman Playing Handball + Person Fencing]
:🤾‍♀️🤺 Bladeball

:[Woman Dancing (2 emojis) + Soccer Ball]
:💃💃⚽ Fancyball

:[Hole + Horse Racing (3 emojis)]
:🕳️🏇🏇🏇 Horse hole

:[Kitchen Knife + Basketball + Pick]
:🔪🏀⛏️ Basketball shredding

:[Egg + Telescope + Woman Detective]
:🥚🔭🕵️‍♀️ Eggspotting

:[Skier + Crocodile]
:⛷️🐊 Alligator jumping

:[Woman + Fishing Pole + Merman]
:👩🎣🧜‍♂️ Merfishing

:[Man + Badminton + Fairy + Badminton + Woman]
:👨🏸🧚🏸👩 Tinkerball

:[Curling Stone + Hedgehog + Curling Stone]
:🥌🦔🥌 Hedgehog curling

:[Clamp + Hamburger]
:🗜️🍔 Burger clamping

:[Woman Astronaut + Bow and Arrow + Satellite]
:👩‍🚀🏹🛰️ Consequence archery

:[Owl + Right Arrow + Open Mailbox]
:🦉➡️📬 Owlstuffing

:[Fork and Knife + Candle + Fork and Knife]
:🍴🕯️🍴 Candle eating

:[Flag in Hole + Bomb + Woman Golfing]
:⛳💣🏌️‍♀️ Consequence golf

:[Pointing Right + Snake + Pointing Left]
:👉🐍👈 Snake shaming

:[Fire + Woman Climbing + Fire]
:🔥🧗‍♀️🔥 Hell escape

:[Video Game + Avocado + Video Game]
:🎮🥑🎮 Multiplayer avocado

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Emoji]]

1957: 2018 CVE List

2018-02-19T12:03:55Z

162.158.74.45: Numpy --> NumPy

{{comic
| number = 1957
| date = February 19, 2018
| title = 2018 CVE List
| image = 2018_cve_list.png
| titletext = CVE-2018-?????: It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischevious kids in a trenchcoat.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by HACKING THIS WIKI VIA THE EDIT BOX - The explanation looks like a list. Explain the comic and put the security vulnerabilities in a table. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{|class="wikitable"
! style="width: 30%;" | Security Vulnerability
! style="width: 70%;" | Notes
|-
|Apple products crash when displaying certain Telugu or Bengali letter combinations.
|This refers to a real vulnerability in iOS and MacOS publicized a few days before the comic released <ref>https://techcrunch.com/2018/02/15/iphone-text-bomb-ios-mac-crash-apple/</ref>.
|-
|An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit[sic] a race condition in garbage collection to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon.
|Timing Attack to exploit a race condition in garbage collection refers to Meltdown and Spectre CPU flaws that can be exploited in cloud server like the ones in Wikipedia. Claude Shannon was an early and highly influential information scientist whose work underlies compression, encryption, security, and the theory behind how information is encoded into binary digits - hence the pertinence of extracting just some of the bits from his Wikipedia entry.
|-
|At the cafe on third street, the post-it note with the wifi password is visible from the sidewalk.
|Writing passwords in a visible place is a major security flaw. For instance, following the [[wikipedia:2018 Hawaii false missile alert|2018 Hawaii false missile alert]] the agency received criticism for a press photo showing a password written on a sticky note attached to a monitor.<ref>http://uk.businessinsider.com/hawaii-emergency-agency-password-discovered-in-photo-sparks-security-criticism-2018-1?r=US&IR=T</ref> However, if a cafe posts their wifi password for customers then having it visible through the window as well presents a very minor reduction in security.
|-
|A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box.
|Describes a common feature on news sites or social media sites like Facebook. The possibility for users to "inject" text into the page is by design. This is a humorous reference to the relatively common security vulnerability "[[Wikipedia:Cross-site_scripting|persistent cross-site scripting]]", where input provided by the user is displayed to other users in a dangerous fashion that allows attackers to inject arbitrary HTML or Javascript code into e.g. a comment section. It might also be a humorous reference to the events before, during and after the 2016 US Presidential elections where Internet Research Agency employees based remotely in St. Petersburg, Russia, but disguised as US citizens, "injected" arbitrary text in the form of political propaganda into comments on multiple web sites, according to an indictment returned by a federal grand jury on February 16, 2018.
|-
|MySQL server 55.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel."
|Some people pronounce "SQL" like "sequel", after SQL's predecessor "SEQUEL (Structured English Query Language)". The standard for SQL suggests that it should be pronounced as separate letters; however, the author of SQL pronounces it "sequel", so the debate is persisting (with even more justification than arguments about how to pronounce "GIF"). MySQL is an open-source relational database management system, the latest GA version (at the time of writing) is MySQL 5.7.
|-
|A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges.
|This vulnerability refers to DOM0 attacks on Virtualization CPUs, regulary escalate from normal(few privileges) to root (full privileges), this is the inverse.
|-
|Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics.
|Diacritics are the accents found on letters in some languages (eg. č, ģ ķ, ļ, ņ, š, ž). These would not be found on emojis. It is also a reference to a common problem of modern gadgets catching fire.
|-
|An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team.
|This likely refers to the movie Air Bud. It's a movie about a dog playing basketball {{w|Air Bud}}. This has been a common theme in xkcd comics, see [[115: Meerkat]], [[1439: Rack Unit]], [[1819: Sweet 16]], [[1552: Rulebook]]
|-
|Haskell isn't side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one. Computer in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while.
|Haskell is a functional programming language, functional programming is characterized by using functions that dont have side effects in other parts of the program.
|-
|Nobody really knows how hypervisors work.
|Virtualization programing is hard, Meltdown and Specter are related to this
|-
|CRITICAL: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour.
|Jokes about arcane systems that are running linux, that have bugs that nobody can replicate because there are no more machines on this type where reproduce the bug to fix it. UTC+14 is also a time zone used only on some islands in the Pacific Ocean, i.e., [[Wikipedia:Line_Islands|the Line Islands]], and is also the earliest time zone on earth.
|-
|x86 has way too many instructions.
|The x86 architecture is considered "CISC" (a "complex instruction set computer"), having many instructions originally provided to make programming by a human simpler; other examples include the 68000 series used in the first Apple Mac. In the 1980s, this design philosophy was countered by the "RISC" ("reduced instruction set computer") design movement exemplified by SPARC, MIPS, PowerPC (previously used by Apple) and the ARM chips common in mobile phones - based on the observation that computer programs were increasingly generated by compilers (which only used a few instructions) rather than directly by people, and that the chip area dedicated to extra instructions could be better dedicated to, for example, cache. At the time, there was an internet war about the merits of each approach (with the Mac and PC being on different sides, at one time; owners of other competing systems such as the Archimedes and Amiga had similar arguments on usenet in the early 1990s); this "issue" may be posted by someone who still recalls these debates. Technically, the extra instructions do slightly complicate the task of validating correct chip behaviour and complicate the tool chains that manage software, which could be seen as a minor security risk; however, the 64-bit architecture introduced by AMD and since adopted by Intel does rationalise things somewhat, and all recent x86 chips break down instructions into RISC-like micro-operations, so the complication from a hardware perspective is localised. Recent security issues such as the speculative cache load issue in Meltdown and Spectre depend more on details of implementation rather than instruction set, and have been exhibited both by x86 (CISC) and ARM (RISC) processors.
|-
|NumPy 1.8.0 can factor primes in O(log n) time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices.
|NumPy is the fundamental package for scientific computing with Python. If something can find the prime factors of a number this quickly, there are attacks to break many crypto functions used in internet security. However, prime numbers have only a single factor, and "factoring primes" quickly is a simpler problem.
|-
|Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule.
|Another joke on the first CVE and a common English writing rule of thumb, which fails almost as often as it succeeds.
|-
|Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers.
|Skylake x86 chips are a line of microprocessors, yes, you can remove forcefully any processor from his socket with a screwdriver, there are many reports from people not using common sense.
|-
|Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily.
|Linux Torvals is the benevolent dictator of the Linux kernel codebase, normally it is hard to pass a change because he has the last word about what merge to the code base because that code is replicated in all linux installations, but apparently he is easy to bribe, that is a severe critical vulnerability to all linux server and machines
|-
|An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.
|The point of an attack is to make someone else's machine perform actions against the owner's will. Anyone can make their own machine execute any code, but this would usually not be described as an attack.
|-
|Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it.
|This could refer to a CVE vulnerability of JPG files where javascript is executed by some application, only this time is in a printed photo instead of a file .
|-
|Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of Windows could allow Flash to be installed.
|This is another common CVE description, Flash was discontinued because is abismal security record. All security experts advise against install.
|-
|Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers.
|This refers to a computer meme where replace "cloud" with "other people's computers" must be used in all marketing presentation to CEOs and not computer literate persons to evaluate the security impact of using "Cloud services"
|-
|A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.[~~CLICK HERE FOR CHEAP VIAGRA~~]
|Mitre's CVE database is the database where all CVE are listed, this is a joke between the 4th CVE in this list pointing that the site is also vulnerable
|-
|It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischievous kids in a trenchcoat. (title text)
|Bruce Schneier is a conceptual fictional character, who is a security researcher. His work is produced by a loose collective of anonymous contributors. The "two kids in a trenchcoat" is a reference to the Totem Pole Trench trope.<ref>[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TotemPoleTrench TV Tropes:Totem Pole Trench trope]</ref>
|}

== References ==
<references/>

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

LEAKED LIST OF MAJOR 2018 SECURITY VULNERABILITIES

CVE-2018-????? Apple products crash when displaying certain Telugu or Bengali letter combinations.

CVE-2018-????? An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit[sic] a race condition in garbage collection to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon.

CVE-2018-????? At the cafe on third street, the post-it note with the wifi password is visible from the sidewalk.

CVE-2018-????? A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box.

CVE-2018-????? MySQL server 55.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel."

CVE-2018-????? A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics.

CVE-2018-????? An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team.

CUE-2018-????? Haskell isn't side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one. Computer in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while.

CVE-2018-????? Nobody really knows how hypervisors work.

CVE-2018-????? CRITICAL: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour.

CVE-2018-????? x86 has way too many instructions.

CVE-2018-????? NumPy 1.8.0 can factor primes in O(log n) time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule.

CVE-2018-????? Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers.

CVE-2018-????? Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily.

CVE-2018-????? An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it.

CVE-2018-????? Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of Windows could allow Flash to be installed.

CVE-2018-????? Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers.

CVE-2018-????? A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.[~~CLICK HERE FOR CHEAP VIAGRA~~]

{{comic discussion}}

Talk:1957: 2018 CVE List

2018-02-19T11:53:52Z

162.158.74.45:

[[First]] post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, the explanation looks like a train wreck, and I'm not sure if a rearranging it into a table or just adding bullet points to everything is better. I'm guessing that a table would be better, but I don't know how I can rearrange it. Can somebody help? [[User:Herobrine|Herobrine]] ([[User talk:Herobrine|talk]]) 06:35, 19 February 2018 (UTC)
: Added a table layout to the sandbox. Might be of some use to another editor. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.45|162.158.74.45]] 07:32, 19 February 2018 (UTC)
: ''Edit: Looks like it's been adapted in; I've cleared the sandbox for future use.'' [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.45|162.158.74.45]] 11:53, 19 February 2018 (UTC)
:: Thanks, I think a table is a good way to go. I'm adding it to the article as a place to start. Rather than format the original explanation into the table, I'm leaving the cells blank. The original poorly formatted text can be a starting point, but isn't directly adaptable. --[[User:Quantum7|Quantum7]] ([[User talk:Quantum7|talk]]) 09:55, 19 February 2018 (UTC)
Never ever have I heard anyone pronounce SQL as "sequel" - Is that a reqional dialect? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.93.15|162.158.93.15]] 07:41, 19 February 2018 (UTC)
: I heard it's common among MS-SQL users.--[[Special:Contributions/162.158.91.137|162.158.91.137]] 08:02, 19 February 2018 (UTC)
:: Oh BTW, look at our IPs. Are you an easybell customer? :-) --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.91.137|162.158.91.137]] 08:09, 19 February 2018 (UTC)
: Some people pronounce it that way, yes. Don't know if it is "common among MS-SQL users", though. The only person I encountered saying "sequel" never used MS-SQL. [[User:LordHorst|LordHorst]] ([[User talk:LordHorst|talk]]) 09:54, 19 February 2018 (UTC)

I want to take a moment to congratulate the dedication of whomever wrote the original explanation. Second languages are hard, bro. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.215.10|108.162.215.10]] 07:48, 19 February 2018 (UTC)

Has someone tried contacting Randall about "extploit"? If not, what would be the best way? [[User:Fabian42|Fabian42]] ([[User talk:Fabian42|talk]]) 08:22, 19 February 2018 (UTC)
:Hack his computer to display a message demanding he fix it if he wants his hard drive decrypted.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.155.26|162.158.155.26]] 09:24, 19 February 2018 (UTC)
::Thanks, will do.

::how to hack complooter
::why does google not work
::how to delete text
::[[User:Fabian42|Fabian42]] ([[User talk:Fabian42|talk]]) 09:44, 19 February 2018 (UTC)

Regarding "Factor a prime": Factoring a prime is easy: The prime itself is the only factor, so it's sufficient to use [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AKS_primality_test AKS] or whatever to check that. Public-key encryption relies on how hard it is to factor the product of two primes, which is a much harder problem. Maybe this is a typo in the comic?
: I don't think it is a typo. It's exactly the type of "inside-joke" I would expect from XKCD. :)
--[[Special:Contributions/162.158.134.214|162.158.134.214]] 10:09, 19 February 2018 (UTC)

Can I edit some spelling errors? There seems to be some spelling errors here and there.Boeing-787lover 10:19, 19 February 2018 (UTC)

I think the explanation of the one about injecting arbitrary text onto a page with the comments box is overthinking the joke. I think it really is just about the fact that you can write whatever you like in a comment. Look, I just hacked this page to display the word "penguin". [[User:Jeremyp|Jeremyp]] ([[User talk:Jeremyp|talk]]) 10:26, 19 February 2018 (UTC)

explain xkcd:Sandbox

2018-02-19T11:48:45Z

162.158.74.45: Cleared the sandbox

__NOINDEX__
Make changes, try things out, or just have fun with the wiki here! Just leave everything above the line alone, please.
[http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=explain_xkcd:Sandbox&action=edit&oldid=91667 clear sandbox]
------

1957: 2018 CVE List

2018-02-19T11:43:01Z

162.158.74.45: /* Explanation */ Table format

{{comic
| number = 1957
| date = February 19, 2018
| title = 2018 CVE List
| image = 2018_cve_list.png
| titletext = CVE-2018-?????: It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischevious kids in a trenchcoat.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by HACKING THIS WIKI VIA THE EDIT BOX - The explanation looks like a list. Explain the comic and put the security vulnerabilities in a table. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{|class="wikitable"
! style="width: 30%;" | Security Vulnerability
! style="width: 70%;" | Notes
|-
|Apple products crash when displaying certain Telugu or Bengali letter combinations.
|This refers to a real vulnerability in iOS and MacOS publicized a few days before the comic released <ref>https://techcrunch.com/2018/02/15/iphone-text-bomb-ios-mac-crash-apple/</ref>.
|-
|An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit[sic] a race condition in garbage collection to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon.
|Timing Attack to exploit a race condition in garbage collection refers to Meltdown and Spectre CPU flaws that can be exploited in cloud server like the ones in Wikipedia. Claude Shannon was an early and highly influential information scientist whose work underlies compression, encryption, security, and the theory behind how information is encoded into binary digits - hence the pertinence of extracting just some of the bits from his Wikipedia entry.
|-
|At the cafe on third street, the post-it note with the wifi password is visible from the sidewalk.
|Writing passwords in a visible place is a major security flaw. For instance, following the [[wikipedia:2018 Hawaii false missile alert|2018 Hawaii false missile alert]] the agency received criticism for a press photo showing a password written on a sticky note attached to a monitor.<ref>http://uk.businessinsider.com/hawaii-emergency-agency-password-discovered-in-photo-sparks-security-criticism-2018-1?r=US&IR=T</ref> However, if a cafe posts their wifi password for customers then having it visible through the window as well presents a very minor reduction in security.
|-
|A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box.
|Describes a common feature on news sites or social media sites like Facebook. The possibility for users to "inject" text into the page is by design. This is a humorous reference to the relatively common security vulnerability "[[Wikipedia:Cross-site_scripting|persistent cross-site scripting]]", where input provided by the user is displayed to other users in a dangerous fashion that allows attackers to inject arbitrary HTML or Javascript code into e.g. a comment section. It might also be a humorous reference to the events before, during and after the 2016 US Presidential elections where Internet Research Agency employees based remotely in St. Petersburg, Russia, but disguised as US citizens, "injected" arbitrary text in the form of political propaganda into comments on multiple web sites, according to an indictment returned by a federal grand jury on February 16, 2018.
|-
|MySQL server 55.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel."
|Some people pronounce "SQL" like "sequel", after SQL's predecessor "SEQUEL (Structured English Query Language)". The standard for SQL suggests that it should be pronounced as separate letters; however, the author of SQL pronounces it "sequel", so the debate is persisting (with even more justification than arguments about how to pronounce "GIF"). MySQL is an open-source relational database management system, the latest GA version (at the time of writing) is MySQL 5.7.
|-
|A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges.
|This vulnerability refers to DOM0 attacks on Virtualization CPUs, regulary escalate from normal(few privileges) to root (full privileges), this is the inverse.
|-
|Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics.
|Diacritics are the accents found on letters in some languages (eg. č, ģ ķ, ļ, ņ, š, ž). These would not be found on emojis. It is also a reference to a common problem of modern gadgets catching fire.
|-
|An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team.
|This likely refers to the movie Air Bud. It's a movie about a dog playing basketball {{w|Air Bud}}. This has been a common theme in xkcd comics, see [[115: Meerkat]], [[1439: Rack Unit]], [[1819: Sweet 16]], [[1552: Rulebook]]
|-
|Haskell isn't side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one. Computer in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while.
|Haskell is a functional programming language, functional programming is characterized by using functions that dont have side effects in other parts of the program.
|-
|Nobody really knows how hypervisors work.
|Virtualization programing is hard, Meltdown and Specter are related to this
|-
|CRITICAL: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour.
|Jokes about arcane systems that are running linux, that have bugs that nobody can replicate because there are no more machines on this type where reproduce the bug to fix it. UTC+14 is also a time zone used only on some islands in the Pacific Ocean, i.e., [[Wikipedia:Line_Islands|the Line Islands]], and is also the earliest time zone on earth.
|-
|x86 has way too many instructions.
|The x86 architecture is considered "CISC" (a "complex instruction set computer"), having many instructions originally provided to make programming by a human simpler; other examples include the 68000 series used in the first Apple Mac. In the 1980s, this design philosophy was countered by the "RISC" ("reduced instruction set computer") design movement exemplified by SPARC, MIPS, PowerPC (previously used by Apple) and the ARM chips common in mobile phones - based on the observation that computer programs were increasingly generated by compilers (which only used a few instructions) rather than directly by people, and that the chip area dedicated to extra instructions could be better dedicated to, for example, cache. At the time, there was an internet war about the merits of each approach (with the Mac and PC being on different sides, at one time; owners of other competing systems such as the Archimedes and Amiga had similar arguments on usenet in the early 1990s); this "issue" may be posted by someone who still recalls these debates. Technically, the extra instructions do slightly complicate the task of validating correct chip behaviour and complicate the tool chains that manage software, which could be seen as a minor security risk; however, the 64-bit architecture introduced by AMD and since adopted by Intel does rationalise things somewhat, and all recent x86 chips break down instructions into RISC-like micro-operations, so the complication from a hardware perspective is localised. Recent security issues such as the speculative cache load issue in Meltdown and Spectre depend more on details of implementation rather than instruction set, and have been exhibited both by x86 (CISC) and ARM (RISC) processors.
|-
|Numpy 1.8.0 can factor primes in O(log n) time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices.
|NumPy is the fundamental package for scientific computing with Python. If something can find the prime factors of a number this quickly, there are attacks to break many crypto functions used in internet security. However, prime numbers have only a single factor, and "factoring primes" quickly is a simpler problem.
|-
|Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule.
|Another joke on the first CVE and a common English writing rule of thumb, which fails almost as often as it succeeds.
|-
|Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers.
|Skylake x86 chips are a line of microprocessors, yes, you can remove forcefully any processor from his socket with a screwdriver, there are many reports from people not using common sense.
|-
|Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily.
|Linux Torvals is the benevolent dictator of the Linux kernel codebase, normally it is hard to pass a change because he has the last word about what merge to the code base because that code is replicated in all linux installations, but apparently he is easy to bribe, that is a severe critical vulnerability to all linux server and machines
|-
|An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.
|The point of an attack is to make someone else's machine perform actions against the owner's will. Anyone can make their own machine execute any code, but this would usually not be described as an attack.
|-
|Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it.
|This could refer to a CVE vulnerability of JPG files where javascript is executed by some application, only this time is in a printed photo instead of a file .
|-
|Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of Windows could allow Flash to be installed.
|This is another common CVE description, Flash was discontinued because is abismal security record. All security experts advise against install.
|-
|Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers.
|This refers to a computer meme where replace "cloud" with "other people's computers" must be used in all marketing presentation to CEOs and not computer literate persons to evaluate the security impact of using "Cloud services"
|-
|A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.[~~CLICK HERE FOR CHEAP VIAGRA~~]
|Mitre's CVE database is the database where all CVE are listed, this is a joke between the 4th CVE in this list pointing that the site is also vulnerable
|-
|It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischievous kids in a trenchcoat. (title text)
|Bruce Schneier is a conceptual fictional character, who is a security researcher. His work is produced by a loose collective of anonymous contributors.
|}

== References ==
<references/>

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

LEAKED LIST OF MAJOR 2018 SECURITY VULNERABILITIES

CVE-2018-????? Apple products crash when displaying certain Telugu or Bengali letter combinations.

CVE-2018-????? An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit[sic] a race condition in garbage collection to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon.

CVE-2018-????? At the cafe on third street, the post-it note with the wifi password is visible from the sidewalk.

CVE-2018-????? A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box.

CVE-2018-????? MySQL server 55.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel."

CVE-2018-????? A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics.

CVE-2018-????? An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team.

CUE-2018-????? Haskell isn't side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one. Computer in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while.

CVE-2018-????? Nobody really knows how hypervisors work.

CVE-2018-????? CRITICAL: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour.

CVE-2018-????? x86 has way too many instructions.

CVE-2018-????? Numpy 1.8.0 can factor primes in O(log n) time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule.

CVE-2018-????? Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers.

CVE-2018-????? Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily.

CVE-2018-????? An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it.

CVE-2018-????? Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of Windows could allow Flash to be installed.

CVE-2018-????? Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers.

CVE-2018-????? A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.[~~CLICK HERE FOR CHEAP VIAGRA~~]

{{comic discussion}}

explain xkcd:Sandbox

2018-02-19T09:24:26Z

162.158.74.45:

__NOINDEX__
{{DISPLAYTITLE:explain XKCD:sAnDBoX}}
Make changes, try things out, or just have fun with the wiki here! Just leave everything above the line alone, please.
[http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=explain_xkcd:Sandbox&action=edit&oldid=91667 clear sandbox]
------
xkcd [[1957]] WIP:
{| class="wikitable"
! style="width: 30%;" | Vulnerability
! style="width: 70%;" | Explanation
|-
|Apple products crash when displaying certain Telugu or Bengali letter combinations.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit[sic] a race condition in garbage collection to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|At the cafe on third street, the post-it note with the wifi password is visible from the sidewalk.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box.
|Describes a common feature on news sites or social media sites like Facebook. The possibility for users to "inject" text into the page is by design. This is a humorous reference to the relatively common security vulnerability "[[Wikipedia:Cross-site_scripting|persistent cross-site scripting]]", where input provided by the user is displayed to other users in a dangerous fashion that allows attackers to inject arbitrary HTML or Javascript code into e.g. a comment section. It might also be a humorous reference to the events before, during and after the 2016 US Presidential elections where Internet Research Agency employees based remotely in St. Petersburg, Russia, but disguised as US citizens, "injected" arbitrary text in the form of political propaganda into comments on multiple web sites, according to an indictment returned by a federal grand jury on February 16, 2018.
|-
|MySQL server 55.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel."
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Haskell isn't side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one. Computer in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Nobody really knows how hypervisors work.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|CRITICAL: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|x86 has way too many instructions.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Numpy 1.8.0 can factor primes in O(log n) time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of Windows could allow Flash to be installed.
|[[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.[~~CLICK HERE FOR CHEAP VIAGRA~~]
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Title text: It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischevious kids in a trenchcoat.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|}

Talk:1957: 2018 CVE List

2018-02-19T07:32:44Z

162.158.74.45:

explain xkcd:Sandbox

2018-02-19T07:26:05Z

162.158.74.45:

__NOINDEX__
{{DISPLAYTITLE:explain XKCD:sAnDBoX}}
Make changes, try things out, or just have fun with the wiki here! Just leave everything above the line alone, please.
[http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=explain_xkcd:Sandbox&action=edit&oldid=91667 clear sandbox]
------
xkcd [[1957]] WIP:
{| class="wikitable"
! style="width: 30%;" | Vulnerability
! style="width: 70%;" | Explanation
|-
|Apple products crash when displaying certain Telugu or Bengali letter combinations.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit[sic] a race condition in garbage collection to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|At the cafe on third street, the post-it note with the wifi password is visible from the sidewalk.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|MySQL server 55.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel."
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Haskell isn't side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one. Computer in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Nobody really knows how hypervisors work.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|CRITICAL: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|x86 has way too many instructions.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Numpy 1.8.0 can factor primes in O(log n) time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of Windows could allow Flash to be installed.
|[[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.[~~CLICK HERE FOR CHEAP VIAGRA~~]
|[Insert explanation here.]
|-
|Title text: It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischevious kids in a trenchcoat.
|[Insert explanation here.]
|}

1957: 2018 CVE List

2018-02-19T06:09:07Z

162.158.74.45: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 1957
| date = February 19, 2018
| title = 2018 CVE List
| image = 2018_cve_list.png
| titletext = CVE-2018-?????: It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischevious kids in a trenchcoat.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

CVE stands for Common Vulnerabilities and Exposures : a list of bugs detected in software and hardware, this list is the equivalen of the meme of "Memes of 2018 leaked"

Apple Products Crash refers to a current vulnerability in Macos and iphone
This new text bomb crashes most Mac and iOS apps with a single Unicode symbol (techcrunch.com FEb 15, 2018)

Timing Attack to explit a race condition in garbaje collection refers to Meltdown and Spectre CPU flaws that can be exploited in cloud server like the ones in wikipedia

Post it note on a cafe refers to the hawaian missile alert incident

Remote attacker can inject can refer to a lot of scriptkiddies utilities to realice code injection, is something common in websites

MySQL server 5.5.45 parallel tables (unknow)

Flaw in some X86 CPU: refers to DOM0 attacks on Virtualization CPUs, regulary escalate from normal(few privileges) to root (full privileges), this is the inverse.

Apple products catch fire: Mix between the first CVE and the Samnsung exploding phones

Dog in basebal team (movie plot? )

Haskell is a functional programing languaje, funcional programing is characterized by using functions that dont have side effects in other parts of the program.

Nobody Knows how hypervisors work : Virtualization programing is hard, Meltdown and Specter are related to this

CRITICAL: Under Linux 3.14.8 OnSystem/390: jokes about arcane systems that are running linux, that have bugs that nobody can replicate because there are no more machines on this type where reproduce the bug to fix it.

x86 has way too many instructions: there are a joke account for random acronyms of processor assembled languaje many of them are overspecialized version of general ones

Numpy 1.8.0 can factor primes in 0 ( Log(N)) : NumPy is the fundamental package for scientific computing with Python. If something can factor primes that fast, there are attacks to break all crypto functions used in internet security, then must be deprecated because there are not replacements

Apple products grant remote access if you send : another joke on the first CVE and a common english write rule

Skylake x86 chips are a line of microprocesors, yes, you can remove forcefully any procesador from his socket with a screwdriver , there are many reports from people not using common sense.

Linux Torvals is the benebolent dictator of the Linux kernel codebase, normally is hard to pass a change because he has the last word about what merge to the code base because that code is replicated in all linux instalations, but apparently is easy to bribe, that is a severe creitical vulnerability to all linux server and machines

"An attacker can excecute malicious code .. " is a common CVE description

Apple products excute any code printed over a photo , can refer to a CVE vulnerability of JPG files where javascript is executed by some application, only this time is in a printed photo instead of a file .

"Under rare circunstances, a flaw ... " is another common CVE description, Flash was discontinued because is abismal security record. All security experts advise against install.

"Turns out the cloud is just another peopleś computer" refers to a computer meme where replace "cloud" with "another peopleś computer" must be used in all marketing presentation to CEOs and not computer literate persons to evaluate the security impact of using "Cloud services"

Mitress CVE database is the database where all CVE are listed, this is a joke between the 4th CVE in this list pointing that the site is also vulnerable

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

LEAKED LIST OF MAJOR 2018 SECURITY VULNERABILITIES

CVE-2018-????? Apple products crash when displaying certain Telugu or Bengali letter combinations.

CVE-2018-????? An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit[sic] a race condition in garbage collection to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon.

CVE-2018-????? At the cafe on third street, the post-it note with the wifi password is visible from the sidewalk.

CVE-2018-????? A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box.

CVE-2018-????? MySQL server 55.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel."

CVE-2018-????? A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics.

CVE-2018-????? An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team.

CUE-2018-????? Haskell isn't side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one. Computer in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while.

CVE-2018-????? Nobody really knows how hypervisors work.

CVE-2018-????? CRITICAL: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour.

CVE-2018-????? x86 has way too many instructions.

CVE-2018-????? Numpy 1.8.0 can factor primes in O(log n) time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule.

CVE-2018-????? Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers.

CVE-2018-????? Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily.

CVE-2018-????? An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it.

CVE-2018-????? Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of Windows could allow Flash to be installed.

CVE-2018-????? Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers.

CVE-2018-????? A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.[~~CLICK HERE FOR CHEAP VIAGRA~~]

{{comic discussion}}

1957: 2018 CVE List

2018-02-19T06:04:19Z

162.158.74.45: /* Transcript */ proofing

{{comic
| number = 1957
| date = February 19, 2018
| title = 2018 CVE List
| image = 2018_cve_list.png
| titletext = CVE-2018-?????: It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischevious kids in a trenchcoat.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

CVE stands for Common Vulnerabilities and Exposures : a list of bugs detected in software and hardware, this list is the equivalen of the meme of "Memes of 2018 leaked"

Apple Products Crash refers to a current vulnerability in Macos and iphone
This new text bomb crashes most Mac and iOS apps with a single Unicode symbol (techcrunch.com FEb 15, 2018)

Timing Attack to explit a race condition in garbaje collection refers to Meltdown and Spectre CPU flaws that can be exploited in cloud server like the ones in wikipedia

Post it note on a cafe refers to the hawaian missile alert incident

Remote attacker can inject can refer to a lot of scriptkiddies utilities to realice code injection, is something common in websites

MySQL server 5.5.45 parallel tables (unknow)

Flaw in some X86 CPU: refers to DOM0 attacks on Virtualization CPUs, regulary escalate from normal(few privileges) to root (full privileges), this is the inverse.

Apple products catch fire: Mix between the first CVE and the Samnsung exploding phones

Dog in basebal team (movie plot? )

Haskell is a functional programing languaje, funcional programing is characterized by using functions that dont have side effects in other parts of the program.

Nobody Knows how hypervisors work : Virtualization programing is hard, Meltdown and Specter are related to this

CRITICAL: Under Linux 3.14.8 OnSystem/390: jokes about arcane systems that are running linux, that have bugs that nobody can replicate because there are no more machines on this type where reproduce the bug to fix it.

x86 has way too many instructions: there are a joke account for random acronyms of processor assembled languaje many of them are overspecialized version of general ones

Numpy 1.8.0 can factor primes in 0 ( Log(N)) : NumPy is the fundamental package for scientific computing with Python. If something can factor primes that fast, there are attacks to break all crypto functions used in internet security, then must be deprecated because there are not replacements

Apple products grant remote access if you send : another joke on the first CVE and a common english write rule

Skylake x86 chips are a line of microprocesors, yes, you can remove forcefully any procesador from his socket with a screwdriver , there are many reports from people not using common sense.

Linux Torvals is the benebolent dictator of the Linux kernel codebase, normally is hard to pass a change because he has the last word about what merge to the code base because that code is replicated in all linux instalations, but apparently is easy to bribe, that is a severe creitical vulnerability to all linux server and machines

"An attacker can excecute malicious code .. " is a common CVE description

Apple products excute any code printed over a photo , can refer to a CVE vulnerability of JPG files where javascript is executed by some application, only this time is in a printed photo instead of a file .

"Under rare circunstances, a flaw ... " is another common CVE description, Flash was discontinued because is abismal security record. All security experts advise against install.

"Turns out the cloud is just another peopleś computer" refers to a computer meme where replace "cloud" with "another peopleś computer" must be used in all marketing presentation to CEOs and not computer literate persons to evaluate the security impact of using "Cloud services"

Mitress CVE database is the database where all CVE are listed, this is a joke between the 4th CVE in this list pointing that the site is also vulnerable

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

LEAKED LIST OF MAJOR 2018 SECURITY VULNERABILITIES

CVE-2018-????? Apple products crash when displaying certain Telugu or Bengali letter combinations.

CVE-2018-????? An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit[sic] a race condition in garbage collection to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon.

CVE-2018-????? At the cafe on third street, the post-it note with the wifi password is visible from the sidewalk.

CVE-2018-????? A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box.

CVE-2018-????? MySQL server 55.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel."

CVE-2018-????? A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics.

CVE-2018-????? An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team.

CUE-2018-????? Haskell isn't side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one. Computer in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while.

CVE-2018-????? Nobody really knows how hypervisors work.

CVE-2018-????? CRITICAL: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour.

CVE-2018-????? x86 has way too many instructions.

CVE-2018-????? Numpy 1.8.0 can factor primes in O(log n) time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule.

CVE-2018-????? Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers.

CVE-2018-????? Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily.

CVE-2018-????? An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it.

CVE-2018-????? Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of windows could allow Flash to be installed.

CVE-2018-????? Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers.

CVE-2018-????? A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.[~~CLICK HERE FOR CHEAP VIAGRA~~]

{{comic discussion}}

1957: 2018 CVE List

2018-02-19T06:01:51Z

162.158.74.45: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 1957
| date = February 19, 2018
| title = 2018 CVE List
| image = 2018_cve_list.png
| titletext = CVE-2018-?????: It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischevious kids in a trenchcoat.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

LEAKED LIST OF MAJOR 2018 SECURITY VULNERABILITIES

CVE-2018-????? Apple products crash when displaying certain Telugu or Bengali letter combinations.

CVE-2018-????? An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit[sic] a race condition in garbage collection to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon.

CVE-2018-????? At the cafe on third street, the post-it note with the wifi password is visible from the sidewalk.

CVE-2018-????? A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box.

CVE-2018-????? MySQL server 55.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel."

CVE-2018-????? A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics.

CVE-2018-????? An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team.

CUE-2018-????? Haskell isnt side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one. Computer in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while.

CVE-2018-????? Nobody really knows how hypervisors work.

CVE-2018-????? CRITICAL: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour.

CVE-2018-????? x86 has way too many instructions.

CVE-2018-????? Numpy 1.8.0 can factor primes in O(log n) time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule.

CVE-2018-????? Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers.

CVE-2018-????? Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily.

CVE-2018-????? An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it.

CVE-2018-????? Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of windows could allow flash to be installed.

CVE-2018-????? Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers.

CVE-2018-????? A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.[~~CLICK HERE FOR CHEAP VIAGRA~~]

{{comic discussion}}

1957: 2018 CVE List

2018-02-19T05:59:49Z

162.158.74.45: /* Transcript */ Working Transcript

{{comic
| number = 1957
| date = February 19, 2018
| title = 2018 CVE List
| image = 2018_cve_list.png
| titletext = CVE-2018-?????: It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischevious kids in a trenchcoat.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
LEAKED LIST OF MAJOR 2018 SECURITY VULNERABILITIES

CVE-2018-????? Apple products crash when displaying certain Telugu or Bengali letter combinations.

CVE-2018-????? An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit[sic] a race condition in garbage collection to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon.

CVE-2018-????? At the cafe on third street, the post-it note with the wifi password is visible from the sidewalk.

CVE-2018-????? A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box.

CVE-2018-????? MySQL server 55.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel."

CVE-2018-????? A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics.

CVE-2018-????? An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team.

CUE-2018-????? Haskell isnt side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one. Computer in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while.

CVE-2018-????? Nobody really knows how hypervisors work.

CVE-2018-????? CRITICAL: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour.

CVE-2018-????? x86 has way too many instructions.

CVE-2018-????? Numpy 1.8.0 can factor primes in O(log n) time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule.

CVE-2018-????? Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers.

CVE-2018-????? Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily.

CVE-2018-????? An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it.

CVE-2018-????? Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of windows could allow flash to be installed.

CVE-2018-????? Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers.

CVE-2018-????? A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.[~~CLICK HERE FOR CHEAP VIAGRA~~]

{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
Leaked List Of Major 2018 Security Vulnerabilities
CVE-2018-????? Apple Product Crash when displaying certain Telugu or Bengali letter combinations.
{{comic discussion}}

1920: Emoji Sports

2018-02-07T16:23:51Z

162.158.74.45:

{{comic
| number = 1920
| date = November 24, 2017
| title = Emoji Sports
| image = emoji_sports.png
| titletext = No horse has yet managed the elusive Quadruple Crown—winning the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness, the Belmont Stakes, and the Missouri Horse Hole.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic, as the heading indicates, arbitrarily selects emoji and uses them to make up very bizarre sports. Although some of these might be completely normal, most of them take things to a completely absurd level.

The title text is a reference to the triple crown, which is an highly prestigious award given to a three-year-old thoroughbred horse who wins the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness Stakes, and the Belmont Stakes, the first three of the four listed events. The joke is that if Horse Hole was a real sport, then one who won a major competition for it, the Missouri Horse Hole, in addition to the three main horse racing events, would win a “Quadruple Crown".
{| class="wikitable"
!scope="col" style="width: 100px;" |Emoji
!scope="col" style="width: 150px;" |Sport
!scope="col" |Description
|-
|🤽‍♂️🌋
|Lavaball
|Sets the sport of water polo around or inside an active volcano. If the water is simply replaced with lava, the players would asphyxiate from the toxic fumes long before they burned to death in the molten rock. If a typical pool of water is involved, the introduction of lava would cause rapid evaporation and the release of {{w|Chlorine#Use_as_a_weapon|chlorine gas}}, which is destructive to living tissue. In any case, this game is not a good time.{{Citation needed}}
|-ly o
|🤾‍♀️🤺
|Bladeball
|Using a fencing foil to hit a ball would not only be inefficient, but would easily lead to the destruction of the ball instead.
|-
|💃💃⚽
|Fancyball
|Soccer played in high heels and dresses would be a problem for both kicking and running, with the grassy terrain exacerbating these issues, and these would lead to frequent injury.{{Citation needed}}
|-
|🕳️🏇🏇🏇
|Horse hole
| Jockeys ride their horses into a large pit. Needless to say, such a sport would constitute blatant animal abuse; the ensuing fall would seriously injure competing equines (as well as their jockeys if they don't bail out beforehand). If the horse's self-preservation instinct kicks in before reaching the edge, the jockey will likely be severely injured in the process, an outcome which would likely garner a lot less pity. Both this segment and the title text may relate to Episode 354 of My Brother My Brother And Me, "Beanfreak", where a potential punishment for losing horses in a race is described as a trapdoor leading to a "pony pile" beneath the track. (Many of the podcast's episodes deal with horse racing and horse behavior, including some impassioned conversations on the performance of specific horses and the unregulated nature of the widely recognized Triple Crown achievement.)
|-
|🔪🏀⛏️
|Basketball shredding
|The apparent point of this sport is to compete to destroy basketballs as quickly and/or as thoroughly as possible. There is some transgressive appeal in mistreating sports equipment, but hardly enough to keep a captive audience.
|-
|🥚🔭🕵️‍♀️
|Eggspotting
|This could be a combination of {{w|Egg_hunt|egg hunting}} and {{w|birdwatching}}. The emojis may imply that said eggs would have to be found alone in nature, as if they were wild animals, though it might be spotting of eggs of the wild animals in their nests. If the latter is true, the humor arises from the situation being like pre-emptive birdwatching, as the eggs will eventually hatch into birds, and such an activity might be considered easier or "beginner-level" birdwatching due to the eggs remaining in one place.
|-
|⛷️🐊
|Alligator jumping
|An unusual combination of attributes, and to get the alligators to adapt to a cold environment might be a challenge. The emoji is actually a crocodile.
|-
|👩🎣🧜‍♂️
|Merfishing
|Unless humans volunteer to get in costume, this sport is unlikely to have any successes, due to the nonexistence of {{w|Mermaid|mermaids}}.{{Citation needed}}
|-
|👨🏸🧚🏸👩
|Tinkerball
|Playing badminton with a fairy, named after [[wikipedia:Tinker Bell|Tinker Bell]]. Likely to injure the fairy, and such an activity runs the risk of the fairy flying away after the abuse.
|-
|🥌🦔🥌
|Hedgehog curling
|Hedgehogs are not ideal projectiles for sports, as {{w|Alice's Adventures in Wonderland}} has already demonstrated, and such an idea would be considered animal abuse on top of the impracticality. Nonetheless, hedgehogs are technically skilled at curling...their bodies.
|-
|🗜️🍔
|Burger clamping
|Perhaps a challenge to fit a tall burger into a bite-sized height, though said clamp would probably be more likely to pierce the burger than to flatten it.
|-
|👩‍🚀🏹🛰️
|Consequence archery
|Archery on a space station could cause damage to its structure leading to the potentially explosive decompression of the space station, and necessitate the evacuation of the astronauts aboard. If played outside, stray arrows could still cause disaster by setting space debris into motion or by hitting space vessels or equipment. Another dangerous consequence of shooting an arrow while floating in space without a jetpack would be that the shot propels the astronaut in the opposite direction of the arrow, setting him or her off to drift away helplessly into space.
|-
|🦉➡️📬
|Owlstuffing
|This appears to consist of attempting to stuff owls into mailboxes, which would be doubly illegal, because it would be cruel to the owls and interfere with delivery of the mail. The mailbox is shown with the flag up, which normally indicates that there is mail in it, but it appears to be empty, perhaps so that the owl can be stuffed in it. Possibly a reference to owls carrying mail in the Harry Potter series.
|-
|🍴🕯️🍴
|Candle eating
|An even more unhealthy form of {{w|competitive eating}}. Eating large amounts of candle wax can cause {{w|Bowel_obstruction|intestinal obstruction}}.
|-
|⛳💣🏌️‍♀️
|Consequence golf
|The "consequence" of this game is simple: the bomb's eventual explosion necessitates efficient playing. Golfing with a bomb would likely significantly reduce the par on each hole, depending on the length of the fuse, and due to the threat of explosion, par likely would not be able to be exceeded unless the unskilled golfer is also very fast. There would be definite damage to the course and golfers unless the holes extinguished the bombs of golfers who succeeded in time. The balance and rolling of the bomb balls would also be impeded by the fuses and caps.
|-
|👉🐍👈
|Snake shaming
|Probably a play on snake charming. Also a possible reference to the biblical story where the snake is shamed for deceiving mankind by being doomed to crawl on its belly.
|-
|🔥🧗‍♀️🔥
|Hell escape
|Trying to escape the {{w|lake of fire}} is the pastime of damned souls, but perhaps living people are instead sent there and have to return home.
|-
|🎮🥑🎮
|Multiplayer avocado
|Unless a game based on avocados is the subject, there is, to say the least, a hardware compatibility issue here. Very different from the adult version, multiplayer eggplant (🎮🍆🎮; see [[1870: Emoji Movie Reviews]]).
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:<big>New sports</big>
:created from random emoji

:[Man Playing Water Polo + Volcano]
:🤽‍♂️🌋 Lavaball

:[Woman Playing Handball + Person Fencing]
:🤾‍♀️🤺 Bladeball

:[Woman Dancing (2 emojis) + Soccer Ball]
:💃💃⚽ Fancyball

:[Hole + Horse Racing (3 emojis)]
:🕳️🏇🏇🏇 Horse hole

:[Kitchen Knife + Basketball + Pick]
:🔪🏀⛏️ Basketball shredding

:[Egg + Telescope + Woman Detective]
:🥚🔭🕵️‍♀️ Eggspotting

:[Skier + Crocodile]
:⛷️🐊 Alligator jumping

:[Woman + Fishing Pole + Merman]
:👩🎣🧜‍♂️ Merfishing

:[Man + Badminton + Fairy + Badminton + Woman]
:👨🏸🧚🏸👩 Tinkerball

:[Curling Stone + Hedgehog + Curling Stone]
:🥌🦔🥌 Hedgehog curling

:[Clamp + Hamburger]
:🗜️🍔 Burger clamping

:[Woman Astronaut + Bow and Arrow + Satellite]
:👩‍🚀🏹🛰️ Consequence archery

:[Owl + Right Arrow + Open Mailbox]
:🦉➡️📬 Owlstuffing

:[Fork and Knife + Candle + Fork and Knife]
:🍴🕯️🍴 Candle eating

:[Flag in Hole + Bomb + Woman Golfing]
:⛳💣🏌️‍♀️ Consequence golf

:[Pointing Right + Snake + Pointing Left]
:👉🐍👈 Snake shaming

:[Fire + Woman Climbing + Fire]
:🔥🧗‍♀️🔥 Hell escape

:[Video Game + Avocado + Video Game]
:🎮🥑🎮 Multiplayer avocado

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Emoji]]

1951: Super Bowl Watch Party

2018-02-06T16:33:48Z

162.158.74.45:

{{comic
| number = 1951
| date = February 5, 2018
| title = Super Bowl Watch Party
| image = super_bowl_watch_party.png
| titletext = It's going to be weird near the end of May when the screen goes blank for over 18 hours.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a FOOTBALL - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The {{w|Super Bowl}} is the annual championship game of the National Football League (NFL), the highest level of professional {{w|American football}}. In late January or early February each year, the winner of the American Football Conference (AFC) plays the winner of the National Football Conference (NFC) to determine the champion. In {{w|Super Bowl LII}} held on Sunday, February 4, (the day before this comic's release), the NFC champion {{w|Philadelphia Eagles}} defeated the AFC champion {{w|New England Patriots}}. Based on its wide-reaching cultural impact, Super Bowl is, in the United States, widely considered the single most important game of the year (of any sport{{Citation needed}}), and over a hundred million people (across the world) watch it, many of whom are not even fans of American football.

Many people have parties centered on watching the game. The full game lasts around four hours, including breaks for advertisements and a halftime, which includes a live performance of music.

[[Cueball]] and [[Megan]] (on the couch) have such a Super Bowl Watch Party going with their friends (hence the title), but in order to watch the game so that the end will be at the start of the next game, they have slowed down the broadcast so the game takes an entire year to watch. The normal TV is broadcast at 30 frames per second and takes four hours. But by slowing the video down by a factor of 2300, the show would last a full year. (Actually it would last 33.120.000 seconds which is 383 days, 18 days more than a year. To make it last a year, minus 4 hours, it should be slowed down a factor 2189). Each frame would be shown for about 76.7 seconds. Each day in the slow video would cover just under 40 seconds of real time. With this method of viewing, the watchers are instead reduced to analyzing the game frame-by-frame, which may make it easier to understand the sequence of events, but also creates a feeling of tedium.

Due to this extension creating a lack of variety, [[Megan]] tries to make it interesting by guessing the next frame shown will be a cut to a different camera angle. Cuts happen frequently during the broadcast, especially when the ball is not in play, and these cuts may be marked by a black screen. If this is the case, then the cut will be around a minute of nothing to look at at this speed. Megan has a relatively high probability (albeit still incredibly low, with cuts being less than one in every 1000 frames) of being right simply by chance that the next frame will be a cut, but Cueball's tired comment that she always guesses that indicates that the game is so slow or the cuts are so rare that she is almost never correct.

[[Ponytail]] asks if they think the first ad block will come out before the end of February, about 20 days after the start of the Super Bowl show. The ads and halftime show are considered integral parts of the broadcast, and many advertisers debut elaborate commercials especially for this game, since so many people watch it. Many people claim to watch the Super Bowl only for the commercial breaks, as mentioned in [[60: Super Bowl]], and the anticipation for these is exaggerated for this game, as the wait is much longer with the extended broadcast. (In exchange, however, the commercials will be longer, too.)

The title text refers to how, during a commercial break during the 2018 Super Bowl, only blackness was broadcast for 28 seconds. <ref>https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nfl/2018/02/04/super-bowl-nbc-equipment-failure-blank-screen-super-bowl-commercial/305623002/</ref> At the rate they watch it would last almost 18 hours as described (17 hours 53 minutes).

In previous comics regarding the Super Bowl, [[Randall] has explained that he now watches the Super Bowl ([[1480: Super Bowl]]), despite previously expressing a lack of interest in the game ([[60: Super Bowl]]) or any other sport ([[1107: Sports Cheat Sheet]]). A slowly updating video is similar to the concept behind [[1190: Time]], and is also reminiscent of Douglas Gordon's 1993 art installation {{w|24 Hour Psycho}}. Also, {{w|As Slow as Possible}} is an organ piece that is currently played in a German church - it will end in 2640, after 639 years of continuous playing. The theme of a group becoming interested in frame-by-frame shots is reminiscent of [[915: Connoisseur]].

==Transcript==
:[A woman, looking like Megan, walks up to a group of people watching TV. Cueball and Megan (with shorter hair than the walking woman) are sitting on a couch. A Cueball-like guy sits in front of them, while Ponytail lies on the ground, head resting on a hand, in front of a TV, which is quite far from the couch.]
:Woman: Morning. How's the game?
:Cueball: Eagles got to the 26-yard line around midnight. They've been walking across the field since then. Just entered a huddle.
:Megan: I bet the next frame will be a cut.
:Guy on floor: You always say that.
:Ponytail: Do you think the first ads will come by the end of February?

:[Caption below the comic:]
:I'm at a year-round Super Bowl watch party. We're playing the stream at 1/2300x speed, so it will end just as next year's Super Bowl starts.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:American football]]
<references/>

1951: Super Bowl Watch Party

2018-02-06T16:13:21Z

162.158.74.45:

{{comic
| number = 1951
| date = February 5, 2018
| title = Super Bowl Watch Party
| image = super_bowl_watch_party.png
| titletext = It's going to be weird near the end of May when the screen goes blank for over 18 hours.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a FOOTBALL - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The {{w|Super Bowl}} is the annual championship game of the National Football League (NFL), the highest level of professional {{w|American football}}. In late January or early February each year, the winner of the American Football Conference (AFC) plays the winner of the National Football Conference (NFC) to determine the champion. In {{w|Super Bowl LII}} held on Sunday, February 4, (the day before this comic's release), the NFC champion {{w|Philadelphia Eagles}} defeated the AFC champion {{w|New England Patriots}}. Based on its wide-reaching cultural impact, Super Bowl is, in the United States, widely considered the single most important game of the year (of any sport{{Citation needed}}), and over a hundred million people (across the world) watch it, many of whom are not even fans of American football.

Many people have parties centered on watching the game. The full game lasts around four hours, including breaks for advertisements and a halftime, which includes a live performance of music.

[[Cueball]] and [[Megan]] (on the couch) have such a Super Bowl Watch Party going with their friends (hence the title), but in order to watch the game so that the end will be at the start of the next game, they have slowed down the broadcast so the game takes an entire year to watch. The normal TV is broadcast at 30 frames per second and takes four hours. But by slowing the video down by a factor of 2300, the show would last a full year. (Actually it would last 33.120.000 seconds which is 383 days, 18 days more than a year. To make it last a year, minus 4 hours, it should be slowed down a factor 2189). Each frame would be shown for about 76.7 seconds. Each day in the slow video would cover just under 40 seconds of real time. With this method of viewing, the watchers are instead reduced to analyzing the game frame-by-frame, which may make it easier to understand the sequence of events, but also creates a feeling of tedium.

Due to this extension creating a lack of variety, [[Megan]] tries to make it interesting by guessing the next frame shown will be a cut to a different camera angle. Cuts happen frequently during the broadcast, especially when the ball is not in play, and these cuts may be marked by a black screen. If this is the case, then the cut will be around a minute of nothing to look at at this speed. Megan has a relatively high probability (albeit still incredibly low, with cuts being less than one in every 1000 frames) of being right simply by chance that the next frame will be a cut, but Cueball's tired comment that she always guesses indicates that the game is so slow or the cuts are so rare that she is almost never correct.

[[Ponytail]] asks if they think the first ad block will come out before the end of February, about 20 days after the start of the Super Bowl show. The ads and halftime show are considered integral parts of the broadcast, and many advertisers debut elaborate commercials especially for this game, since so many people watch it. Many people claim to watch the Super Bowl only for the commercial breaks, as mentioned in [[60: Super Bowl]], and the anticipation for these is exaggerated for this game, as the wait is much longer with the extended broadcast. (In exchange, however, the commercials will be longer, too.)

The title text refers to how, during a commercial break during the 2018 Super Bowl, only blackness was broadcast for 28 seconds. <ref>https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nfl/2018/02/04/super-bowl-nbc-equipment-failure-blank-screen-super-bowl-commercial/305623002/</ref> At the rate they watch it would last almost 18 hours as described (17 hours 53 minutes).

In previous comics regarding the Super Bowl, [[Randall] has explained that he now watches the Super Bowl ([[1480: Super Bowl]]), despite previously expressing a lack of interest in the game ([[60: Super Bowl]]) or any other sport ([[1107: Sports Cheat Sheet]]). A slowly updating video is similar to the concept behind [[1190: Time]], and is also reminiscent of Douglas Gordon's 1993 art installation {{w|24 Hour Psycho}}. Also, {{w|As Slow as Possible}} is an organ piece that is currently played in a German church - it will end in 2640, after 639 years of continuous playing. The theme of a group becoming interested in frame-by-frame shots is reminiscent of [[915: Connoisseur]].

==Transcript==
:[A woman, looking like Megan, walks up to a group of people watching TV. Cueball and Megan (with shorter hair than the walking woman) are sitting on a couch. A Cueball-like guy sits in front of them, while Ponytail lies on the ground, head resting on a hand, in front of a TV, which is quite far from the couch.]
:Woman: Morning. How's the game?
:Cueball: Eagles got to the 26-yard line around midnight. They've been walking across the field since then. Just entered a huddle.
:Megan: I bet the next frame will be a cut.
:Guy on floor: You always say that.
:Ponytail: Do you think the first ads will come by the end of February?

:[Caption below the comic:]
:I'm at a year-round Super Bowl watch party. We're playing the stream at 1/2300x speed, so it will end just as next year's Super Bowl starts.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:American football]]
<references/>

Talk:1892: USB Cables

2017-09-21T12:37:33Z

162.158.74.45: New category of USB cable.

> Carries data but not power - Not typically done, but it could happen if the wires or pins get damaged.

> Charges phone slowly - More likely a problem with the charger than the cable, but may happen if the wires are damaged.

Some manufactures limits charging / fast charging to approved devices only, and this can also be done by some non-standard trick within cable connectors, so non-OEM cable do no charge or charge slower

>Plug doesn't fit through case - There's no standard for what the plastic housing around the USB connector should look like, and sometimes these are moulded so they don't quite fit in the phone socket or through the charging port of an external case.

There is standard defining clearances for plastic housing of connectors, but not all manufactures care

/mhcmega
[[Special:Contributions/162.158.202.10|162.158.202.10]] 15:52, 20 September 2017 (UTC)

I think Weird shape has to do with mould doing a 90 degree turn.
[[User:Trimutius|Trimutius]] ([[User talk:Trimutius|talk]]) 15:55, 20 September 2017 (UTC)

I honestly think this entire comic is a protracted anatomy joke. [[User:Elvenivle|Elvenivle]] ([[User talk:Elvenivle|talk]]) 00:54, 21 September 2017 (UTC)

And then there are all those cables I've saved in case I get a new device with that particular connector on the other end.

1790: Sad

2017-03-16T03:36:15Z

162.158.74.45: error in error notifier

{{comic
| number = 1790
| date = January 25, 2017
| title = Sad
| image = sad.png
| titletext = With the right 90-degree rotation, any effect is a side effect.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Where is the basis for the guess about the presidential election? Too much Trump; not enough explanation.}}
The comic is about [[Cueball]] confronting [[Ponytail]] about her recent behavior and emotional state, which has lasted a few months. It's implied that she (and thus also [[Randall]]) is sad following last year's {{w|United States presidential election, 2016|election}}, though the actual reasons for Ponytail's frustrations and depression aren't dwelt on and the focus is on her retreat into video games and the damage it's doing to her work projects.

Sadness could come from many causes (breaking up, family member dying etc). However, the notion that this comic is political is supported by the fact check in the second panel, and also that this was only the second comic released after {{w|Donald Trump}}'s {{w|Inauguration of Donald Trump|inauguration}}. See more about these issues and other recently released [[1756:_I'm_With_Her#Sad_comics|sad comics here]].

Ponytail has retreated to video games for solace and to the point that her real life projects are suffering.
''{{w|Stardew Valley}}'' is a video game in which a player creates and manages a virtual farm. And when Cueball mentions that her projects have stagnated, she retorts that her farm in the game does great. A comic with the name of that game was releases only two weeks later, [[1797: Stardew Valley]], indicating that it is in deed Randall who have played this game excessively (see the title text), and thus again confirming the above that the comic is about Randall (or his surroundings) sad state of mind.

Cueball's statement about not being able to hide from everything is a common one to give to insecure people or to those trying to run away from their problems. Ponytail's reply is in the form of a {{w|PolitiFact.com|PolitiFact}} reply, claiming (possibly quite truly) that such assertions are ''mostly false'', one of the six options, but it is far from being the worst, thus acknowledging that you can't hide from everything, just mostly. See more about Politifact.com in the comic [[1712: Politifact]]. This is the only political answer she gives in this comic, but it is another clear indication (by Randall and Ponytail) that her trouble is with Trumps leniency with the truth in both election campaign and since, to the point where lies are now on a daily basis just called {{w|alternative facts}} or {{w|post-truth_politics#United_States|post-truth}}.

In computer programming ''{{w|Comment (computer programming)|comments}}'' are something a programmer adds to their code such to make a note for themselves or others, typically to explain a complicated piece of logic or explaining external dependencies of a piece of code. Instead, Ponytail has been writing unrelated notes filled with obscenities. Ponytail's reply is one of typical advice given to amateur fiction and non-fiction writers, that to "write what you know.", implying that all Ponytail knows right now is obscenities.

Also in programming ''{{w|Subroutine|functions}}'' are pieces of code which developers create to avoid repetition and make the code clearer (such as "calculate distance between points" or "process values"). A function which does nothing is almost useless (although sometimes programmers leave functions empty, when they create the skeleton of a program, but then they usually intends to fill them out later). It is expected that a function ''does'' something with a given parameter, but Ponytail’s function does nothing with the parameters except returning the parameter but with the comment ''No, '''you''' deal with this''. Thus she wishes that somebody/something else ''deals'' with any problem, probably what she would also wish for right now, where she is so sad that she even neglects her projects.

Ponytail replies that she writes them like this in order to try to avoid {{w|Side effect (computer science)|side effects}} (i.e. changes to global state), in line with a {{w|functional programming}} paradigm. When Cueball points out that she avoids all effects, Ponytail [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090605/quotes?item=qt2959706 quotes] part of a famous quote from {{w|Ellen Ripley|Ripley}} in {{w|Aliens (film)|Aliens}}: ''I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the '''only way to be sure'''.'' By replying that it's the "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCbfMkh940Q only way to be sure]" she is thus indirectly saying better safe than sorry, but in reality she just doesn't care about her programming anymore because of her sad state of mind.

The title text is a pun, interpreting the phrase "side effect" literally. If you turn an object 90 degrees along the right axis you will place it on its side, so thus making it a effect of putting something on its side, or a "side effect." You can also turn 90 degrees (along another axis), facing what was previously your side.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is walking up to Ponytail who sits at her desk in an office chair typing on her computer.]
:Cueball: How are you doing?
:Ponytail: Hah.
:Cueball: You seem distant lately. For the past few months.
:Ponytail: Can't '''''imagine''''' why.

:[Cueball talks to Ponytail at her desk from off-panel.]
:Cueball (off-panel): Your projects have stagnated.
:Ponytail: But my Stardew Valley farm is doing '''''great'''''.
:Cueball (off-panel): You can't just hide from everything.
:Ponytail: '''''Fact check''''': Mostly false.

:[In a frame-less panel Cueball is seen standing behind Ponytail at her desk.]
:Cueball: I'm glad you're including more comments in your code, but it would be nice if they were comments '''''about''''' your code.
:Cueball: Or at least a bit less obscenity-filled.
:Ponytail: Look, they say to write what you know.

:[Cueball leans forward towards Ponytail at her desk (who has looked on the screen in the same position through the entire comic).]
:Cueball: All the functions you've written take everything passed to them and return it unchanged with the comment "No, '''''you''''' deal with this."
:Ponytail: It's a functional programming thing. Avoiding side effects.
:Cueball: You avoid '''''all''''' effects.
:Ponytail: Only way to be sure.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Sarcasm]]

1807: Listening

2017-03-16T03:11:12Z

162.158.74.45: Grammar

{{comic
| number = 1807
| date = March 6, 2017
| title = Listening
| image = listening.png
| titletext = Sure, you could just ask, but this also takes care of the host gift thing.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic depicts [[Cueball]] and [[Ponytail]] welcoming [[Black Hat]] and [[Danish]] to their house. Black Hat immediately talks to {{w|Amazon Alexa}} to order two tons of {{w|creamed corn}}. This would be quite expensive (around $10,000), and the hosts would be charged because it was ordered on their {{w|Amazon Echo}} device. It would also be a serious inconvenience, as the purchase would be quite bulky and useless, seeing as an average person would have very little use for two tons of creamed corn.{{Citation needed}}

The caption claims that this is an effort to find systems recording conversations, such as Alexa or {{w|Google Home}}, for the security of the ''guests'', so they aren't being monitored by an always-on listening device without their consent (at least not without any consequences). However, because Black Hat is the one coming up with this it's more likely his motives are on the sadistic side, and it's more likely a warning for the hosts to turn off any voice-activated systems before having guests come over, so that the guests don't take advantage of them. (It should also be noted that such purchasing services encourage the user to set up a PIN code to stem off such exploits.)

A concerned "visitor" may also want to test for voice-activated systems when near any persons carrying an iPhone or Android mobile device, because these are also always-on listening devices. "Hey Siri" and "Ok Google" voice activation use the same technology as "Alexa" and "Echo" detection.

The title text says that this takes care of the "host gift thing", referring to the custom where house guests make gift to the hosts. However, Black Hat is making the hosts pay for it, so it can be as expensive as he wants, thus making this yet another example of his being a [[classhole]], for more examples of this see the [[#Trivia|trivia]] below.

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat and Danish enter Cueball and Ponytail's house. They have hardly passed the door mat, with the door still open showing the road and another house outside.]
:Ponytail: Hello, welcome to our house!
:Black Hat: Thanks for inviting us!
:Black Hat: Alexa, order two tons of creamed corn.
:Black Hat: Alexa, confirm purchase.

:[Caption below the frame:]
:When visiting a new house, it's good to check whether they have an always-on device transmitting your conversations somewhere.

==Trivia==
*In a previous comic, [[1559: Driving]], Black Hat took also took advantage of a cutting-edge AI—there, a self-driving car—by making it drive across the country without its owner or any passenger. And already back in [[596: Latitude]] he took advantage (of course) of people who constantly kept programs running on their phones that could track their movements.
*Another comic about testing if someone is listening is [[525: I Know You're Listening]]. Just as Black Hat may just speak without knowing for sure that there is an active Alexa, Cueball in the old comic also just speak out in case there are someone listening. In that case it was addresses to real surveillance, but as can be seen, in the entries below, Alexa may just end up being used like that later.
*Usually Cueball is paired with [[Megan]], but since Black Hat's girlfriend Danish looks like Megan but with longer hair, this makes is sensible to choose Ponytail as Cueballs partner here. They were also partnered in the next comic [[1808: Hacking]].
*Assuming a standard can of 14.75 oz (418 g) and Black Hat's order was in short tons the order would consist of 4339 cans. Consuming one per day it would last for approx. twelve years. But it's doubtful that the expiry date would be that long.
*In a recent [http://www.npr.org/2016/12/31/507670072/amazon-echo-murder-case-renews-privacy-questions-prompted-by-our-digital-footprints court case] authorities believed that an Amazon Echo may have recorded the identity of a murder suspect, leading to a debate about the privacy and safety implications of such devices.
*Another recent [http://www.theverge.com/2017/1/7/14200210/amazon-alexa-tech-news-anchor-order-dollhouse event] resulted in Alexa ordering several people unwanted doll houses.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Food]]

575: Tag Combination

2016-09-15T21:15:51Z

162.158.74.45: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 575
| date = April 29, 2009
| title = Tag Combination
| image = tag combination.png
| titletext = I love Eileen / and want you to love her / When you're around / I'm one floor above her / If you could see / just how much I adore her / Oh, that pretty red dress / I'd do anything for her / (Too ra loo ra too ra loo rye ayy)
}}

==Explanation==

Song tags are a form of file {{w|metadata}} used to categorize music. Tags will typically describe the content and genre of the song, and many music organization programs and services will allow users to find all songs that contain a particular tag; so when a user searches for "Country breakup music," they will receive a list of {{w|Country music|country}} songs about breaking up.

In this comic, [[Cueball]] tests [[Megan]]'s claim that she can make a song name for any set of tags by coming up with a collection of mostly unrelated words: "{{w|lesbian}} {{w|voyeurism}} {{w|one-hit wonder}} {{w|Mashup (music)|mash-up|}}." A {{w|lesbian}} is a woman who is only sexually interested in other women. {{w|Voyeurism}} is the act of watching someone else do something sexual, generally without their knowledge. A {{w|one-hit wonder}} is a band that had "one big hit" before fading from the public eye forever. A {{w|Mashup (music)|mash-up}} is when someone takes two previously unrelated songs and makes a third song that's a mix of both of them (a recent example of which would be [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82LCKBdjywQ this Gangam Style/Ghostbusters theme mashup]). In response, Megan immediately replies with one song title that looks like it would fit the tags well. When Cueball asks for a second example, Megan gives him a new example for the same set of tags, which is really impressive.

Megan's first title, "I Wish That Stacy's Mom Had Jessie's Girl" is a ''mash-up'' of {{w|Jessie's Girl|"Jessie's Girl"}} by {{w|Rick Springfield}} (see [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYkbTyHXwbs video] on YouTube), and {{w|Stacy's Mom|"Stacy's Mom"}} by {{w|Fountains of Wayne}} (see [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZLfasMPOU4 video] on YouTube), the latter was a ''one-hit-wonders'', whereas Springfield has had several other hits. (The song Stacy's Mom was referenced in comic [[61: Stacey's Dad]]).

The second title, "When You Come on Eileen I Touch Myself" is a ''mash-up'' of {{w|Come On Eileen|"Come on Eileen"}} by {{w|Dexys Midnight Runners}} (see [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVxcwe7EcaY video] on YouTube), and {{w|I Touch Myself|"I Touch Myself"}} by {{w|Divinyls}} (see [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wv-34w8kGPM video] on YouTube). Both of these are one-hit wonders (and can both be found on [http://afrokayo.web.fc2.com/mdata_vh1_greatest_onehit_wonders.html this list] of such songs). Note that "Come on, Eileen" means "Hurry up, Eileen", and that "to come on someone" means to ejaculate on someone. Since the song is about lesbian sex, come on someone must mean have an orgasm while being on someone.

For other random connections see [[305: Rule 34]].

===Tags===
*Lesbian: Here "had" means "had sex with". The two women having sex are Stacy's mom and Jessie's Girl
*Voyeurism:
**Someone wishes the two women had each other (so they could be looked upon)
**"When You Come on Eileen I Touch Myself", i.e. the voyeur looks at someone who actually comes (has orgasm) on Eileen while they are having sex.
*One-hit wonder: "{{w|Stacy's Mom}}" by Fountains of Wayne, "{{w|Come On Eileen}}" by Dexys Midnight Runners and "{{w|I Touch Myself}}" by Divinyls.
*Mash-up: Both verses are mash-ups of two other song titles.

===Title text===
The title text is a set of potential lyrics to Megan's second title. [[Randall]] borrowed the rhyme scheme, phrasing, and subject matter from the first eight {{w|stanzas}} of "I Touch Myself" with additional subject matter inspired by "Come on Eileen." The final stanza is the chorus lead-in from the latter.

The subject is now changed so instead of a guy being smitten with a girl, so much he touches himself when he thinks about it, it has now changed to a lesbian woman is in the apartment above when he or she loves Eileen (which she wants them to do) and she probably touches herself when this happens as per the title of this mash-up.

Here are the lyrics for [http://www.metrolyrics.com/i-touch-myself-lyrics-the-divinyls.html I Touch Myself] and [http://www.metrolyrics.com/come-on-eileen-lyrics-dexys-midnight-runners.html Come on Eileen]. Below in the table the mashed up lines are shown. As can be seen most of the text is from "I Touch Myself":

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Mashed up line
! Line from "I Touch Myself"
! Line from "Come On Eileen"
|-
| I love Eileen
| '''I love''' myself (1st line).
| Come on '''Eileen''' (1st line).
|-
| and want you to love her
| I '''want you to love''' me (2nd part of 1st line).
| No line - the '''her''' is now referring to Eileen.
|-
| When you're around
| '''When you're around''' (11th line).
| No line.
|-
| I'm one floor above her
| '''I''' want you '''above''' me (2nd line).
| No line - the '''her''' is now referring to Eileen.
|-
| If you could see
| A fool '''could see''' (15th line).
| No line.
|-
| just how much I adore her
| '''just how much I adore''' you (2nd part of previous line).
| No line - the '''her''' is now referring to Eileen.
|-
| Oh, that pretty red dress
| There are many '''Oh''' in this song, but also in the other.
| '''That pretty red dress''' (30th line).
|-
| I'd do anything for her
| '''I'd do anything for''' you (16th line).
| No line - the '''her''' is now referring to Eileen.
|-
| (Too ra loo ra too ra loo rye ayy)
| No line.
| '''(Too ra loo ra too ra loo rye ayy)''' (11th line).
|}

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are talking.]
:Cueball: So you can come up with a song title fitting any tag combination?
:Megan: Try me.

:[Cueball and Megan are talking.]
:Cueball: Lesbian voyeurism one-hit wonder mash-up.
:Megan: "I wish that Stacey's Mom had Jessie's Girl."

:[Cueball and Megan are just standing there for a beat panel.]

:[Cueball and Megan are talking.]
:Cueball: Well, that was one, but-
:Megan: "When you Come On Eileen I touch myself."
:Cueball: Okay, wow.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Homosexuality]]