explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

Talk:2445: Checkbox

2021-04-02T01:22:23Z

172.68.132.239:

If left alone, the morse code produced spells "WHAT" (.-- .... .- -) [[User:Ezist|Ezist]] ([[User talk:Ezist|talk]]) 22:50, 1 April 2021 (UTC)

I'm early enough that there isn't a summary yet, and I'm not confident enough to start one, so I'll just drop my thoughts. If you click the checkbox repeatedly, at some point it starts playing Morse code. Presumably, there are a whole lot of different sequences. So far, I've gotten .- - .-- .... (which translates to ATWS; no idea what that means) and ..... (just 5, I think). Meanwhile, the mouseover text is ... --- ..., which is SOS. Any thoughts? What other sequences are there? Or am I totally missing something? (Edit conflict. Looks like Ezist has another one.) [[User:Aerin|Aerin]] ([[User talk:Aerin|talk]]) 22:56, 1 April 2021 (UTC)
: I got something like ATWS at first, but that's just cause I misheard one of the letters, and misinterpreted where the word started/ended. [[User:Ezist|Ezist]] ([[User talk:Ezist|talk]]) 23:03, 1 April 2021 (UTC)
:: Oh yes, you're right - what I was hearing ''was'' just WHAT. When I put it into a translator, I must have mistyped .... (H) as ... (S). [[User:Aerin|Aerin]] ([[User talk:Aerin|talk]]) 23:58, 1 April 2021 (UTC)

Wait, sorry, I'm back. It apparently has to do with user input. No idea what I pressed to get those results lol. [[User:Aerin|Aerin]] ([[User talk:Aerin|talk]]) 22:57, 1 April 2021 (UTC)

Just a note, but a Morse code legend as well as translations of your input and the website's output are available in the console in browser DevTools. Helpful for those that don't know Morse. [[User:Toadtoad|Toadtoad]] ([[User talk:Toadtoad|talk]])

It looks like Samuel Morse died on April 2, 1872, so that might be why this comic appears today. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.212.218|162.158.212.218]] 23:07, 1 April 2021 (UTC)

"Hi" returns [.... . .-.. .-.. --- -.-.-- / .- -. -.-- -... --- -.. -.-- / --- ..- - / - .... . .-. . ..--..] "HELLO! ANYBODY OUT THERE?" [[User:Piano|Piano]] ([[User talk:Piano|talk]]) 23:09, 1 April 2021 (UTC)

a sequence of repeating "T", or at least more than one "E" [ - - - ] or [ . . . ] will respond back the same sequence, just one "E" will give "WHAT" [[Special:Contributions/172.68.25.253|172.68.25.253]] 23:18, 1 April 2021 (UTC)

"QTH" gives "QTH ARES VALLIS". "QTH" is a code used to ask for position, and Ares Vallis [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ares_Vallis is a place on Mars.] [[User:Ezist|Ezist]] ([[User talk:Ezist|talk]]) 23:27, 1 April 2021 (UTC)

"CHECK" replies "MATE." "CHECKMATE" and "MATE" each reply "WHAT." [[Special:Contributions/162.158.126.146|162.158.126.146]] 23:34, 1 April 2021 (UTC)

The js: has anyone tried viewing the JS? There seems to be a file that is just filled with undecipherable Morse. Can anyone interpret this? Just press f12 and look for comic.js or morse.js [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.161|162.158.62.161]] 23:35, 1 April 2021 (UTC)

I tried decoding it. Certainly looks like something binary encoded into text. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.183.153|162.158.183.153]] 23:36, 1 April 2021 (UTC)

Adding onto that, what does the ';D' in .split(';D') (at the very end of morse.js) do? AFAIK it's not a special character in JS

morse.js decodes comic.js into the following script: [https://pastebin.com/XcHV4Z5h] (Also, pretty sure the .split(';D') is just an emoji - it results only in an array of 1 element, so no splitting really occurred.) [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.78|108.162.219.78]] 23:52, 1 April 2021 (UTC)

running window.BeepComic.hurryUp() in console gives you immediate response in logs, without waiting for all the beeping to cease

Ah so that's where that script comes from [[Special:Contributions/162.158.183.153|162.158.183.153]] 23:40, 1 April 2021 (UTC)

`BeepComic.send(morse.encode('sudo make me a sandwich'))` <-- convenience, in addition to the hurryUp --rcombs

Does someone else get this uuid DB334AAB-92A1-11EB-8001-8C16454FB02A? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.238.228|162.158.238.228]] 23:42, 1 April 2021 (UTC)
: Yep, that's what I get too. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.132.239|172.68.132.239]] 00:29, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

Audio does not work on Safari as of right now - however, inputting `const AudioContext = webkitAudioContext;` into the browser console before unmuting will allow audio to work on Safari. May want to note this as a 'fix' for the experience? --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.63.6|162.158.63.6]] 23:44, 1 April 2021 (UTC)

In addition to muting/unmuting, BEEP and MUTE reply CQM (I can't find a reference to what that means). [[Special:Contributions/162.158.126.146|162.158.126.146]] 23:51, 1 April 2021 (UTC)

The statements at line 458 of the gist mentioned earlier seem interesting.
handleAction(text) {
if (text.startsWith('//')) {
this.client.open(text.substr(2));
}
}
: Nevermind, it was just how the response to "dir" opened links) [[Special:Contributions/172.68.189.101|172.68.189.101]] 23:52, 1 April 2021 (UTC)

Parsed the JS (morse obfuscation, weird) and cut this small bit out:
e = await fetch(`/2445/morse/.../${morse.encode('pog')}`);
f = await e.text();
[state, ...respMorse] = f.split('/');
morse.decode(respMorse.join('/'));
Use this if you'd like to play around with inputs. (replace pog, obviously) :) [[User:Ezist|Ezist]] ([[User talk:Ezist|talk]]) 23:53, 1 April 2021 (UTC)

No need to document UniXKCD here, there's already [[UniXKCD|a page for that]]. --rcombs

Here's all the two character inputs: https://pastebin.com/5JhsVwM1 [[Special:Contributions/162.158.238.244|162.158.238.244]] 00:16, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

I got a different response for FORTUNE, it just tells me "OPEN ME" maybe Fortune gives multiple possible answers depending on luck, IP or something else, like a fortune cookie can have different answers inside it? [[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.81|141.101.104.81]] 00:19, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

For me FORTUNE responds with "OPEN ME", then I send OPEN, it responds with "YOUR DREAMS ARE NEVER SILLY DEPEND ON THEM TO GUIDE YOU" [[Special:Contributions/141.101.96.40|141.101.96.40]] 00:31, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

For me CHECKBOX responds with RADIO BUTTON and vice versa. Also, putting in a number doesn't seem to redirect me, but 11 does respond with "HUH"--[[User:Yodofrna|Yodofrna]] ([[User talk:Yodofrna|talk]]) 00:46, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

For me YOUTUBE provides what appears to be a URL, but it's so long I'm having a hard time transcribing it [[User:Dextrous Fred|Dextrous Fred]] ([[User talk:Dextrous Fred|talk]]) 00:49, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

YOUTUBE -> RXJKDH1KZ0W = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXJKdh1KZ0w [[Special:Contributions/162.158.238.245|162.158.238.
245]] 00:51, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

FORTUNE is a reference to the Unix 'fortune' program, but responses seem to be consistent for each user and not randomized like the Unix version. Use of a VPN confirms that responses are randomized by IP address. Sending OPEN only returns a fortune if it is sent immediately following FORTUNE. [[User:LordPants|LordPants]] ([[User talk:LordPants|talk]]) 00:53, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

One possible ending: HYDROCOPTIC -> Y -> https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/sojourner_repaired.png [[Special:Contributions/162.158.238.244|162.158.238.244]] 00:54, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

It appears that unknown inputs produce WHAT, NOT FOLLOWING, SAY AGAIN, TRY THAT AGAIN, COME AGAIN, HUH depending on some properties of the input text. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.96.40|141.101.96.40]] 00:57, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

FORTUNE gave me "DO NOT LET AMBITIONS OVERSHADOW SMALL SUCCESS". Should we add something on the page to list all the fortunes we've found?

XKCD now returns "A CROSS THREE LETTERS". What could that mean? [[Special:Contributions/172.68.132.239|172.68.132.239]] 01:22, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

Talk:2445: Checkbox

2021-04-02T00:29:02Z

172.68.132.239:

762: Analogies

2021-03-25T06:15:21Z

172.68.132.239: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 762
| date = July 5, 2010
| title = Analogies
| image = analogies.png
| titletext = I just call all of them 'synecdoche'.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic revolves around the similarities (and differences) between the concepts of "analogy", "simile" and "metaphor" (as well as "synecdoche", "sandwich" and "sex.")

This comic is sexist because it is suggesting that Megan should be sexually available for men.

When [[Megan]] stands up and asks [[Cueball]] and his [[:Category:Multiple Cueballs|Cueball-like]] friend if anyone would like a sandwich, she is very literally meaning that she will would go an make a {{w|sandwich}} in the kitchen, and she would make one for either of them if they wished.

Cueball is thus cheeky when he asks if this is a metaphor, because in that case the metaphor would be a reference to [https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Sex%20Sandwich sex sandwich], in which case the two Cueball's would make up the bread in the sandwich with Megan as the meat in the middle, in a special kind of {{w|threesome}} (NSFW).

Megan effectively turns him down by saying she is bad at metaphors, thus indirectly saying that she is determined not to understand his innuendo, rather than actually understanding it and having to reply to his smart remark. As she probably also knows him rather well, she also knows that by introducing the similar word simile, she immediately turns the focus off the poor sexual joke to a discussion of language, and she is able to leave the room while the guys are discussing this rather than smirking over the sexual joke.

She also manages to make the punch line after the friend introduces analogy, as she is now actually making a sandwich (only for her self presumably) and using this sentence to make an analogy.

The dictionary defines a "{{w|metaphor}}" as a figure of speech that uses one thing to mean another and makes a comparison between the two. For example, Shakespeare's line, "All the world's a stage," is a metaphor comparing the whole world to a theater stage. Metaphors can be very simple, and they can function as most any part of speech. "The spy shadowed the woman" is a verb metaphor. The spy is not literally her shadow, but he follows her so closely and quietly that he resembles one.

A "{{w|simile}}", also called an open comparison, is a form of metaphor that compares two different things to create a new meaning. But a simile always uses "like" or "as" within the phrase and the comparison is more explicit than a metaphor. For example, Shakespeare's line could be rewritten as a simile to read: "The world is like a stage." Another simile would be: "The spy was close as a shadow." Both metaphor and simile can be used to enhance writing.

An "{{w|analogy}}" is a bit more complicated. At the most basic level, an analogy shows similarity between things that might seem different — much like an extended metaphor or simile. But analogy isn't just a form of speech. It can be a logical argument: if two things are alike in some ways, they are alike in some other ways as well. Analogy is often used to help provide insight by comparing an unknown subject to one that is more familiar. It can also show a relationship between pairs of things. This form of analogy is often used on standardized tests in the form "A is to B as C is to D".

Einstein famously used analogies to explain how radio works: "You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat." Unfortunately, nobody was any the wiser after hearing this.

"{{w|Synecdoche}}" (from the title text) is the naming the whole of something by referring to a part, or vice versa. E.g. using "the Internet" when meaning "the World Wide Web", which is only a part of it; or using "Band-Aid" when referring to any adhesive bandage. Randall is saying that he doesn't really understand the difference between them, but instead of using one of the names as a placeholder for them all (that is, as a synecdoche), he actually uses the word 'synecdoche'. What a mind he has.

==Transcript==
:[Megan stands by a TV set and addresses Cueball in the couch and his Cueball-like friend who sits in front of the TV on the floor.]
:Megan: While I'm up, does anyone want a sandwich?
:Cueball: Is "sandwich" a metaphor?

:[A frame-less panel with the same scene, without the TV. Cueball has taken a hand to his chin and the friend on the floor looks down.]
:Megan: No, I'm bad at metaphors. But I could try a simile.
:Cueball: I guess that's ''like'' a metaphor.
:Cueball: Sure.

:[While Megan walks past them, Cueball leans forward and his friends looks back up at him as they continue to speak.]
:Friend: Well, "a simile is like a metaphor" is a simile.
:Cueball: Is that simile itself a metaphor for something?
:Friend: Maybe it's a metaphor for analogy.

:[Cueball and his friend are still sitting and talking while Megan replies from off-panel.]
:Cueball: Similes ''are'' like metaphors in that they're both analogies.
:Megan (off-panel): Analogies are like sandwiches in that I'm making one now.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Sex]]

762: Analogies

2021-03-25T06:15:05Z

172.68.132.239: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 762
| date = July 5, 2010
| title = Analogies
| image = analogies.png
| titletext = I just call all of them 'synecdoche'.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic revolves around the similarities (and differences) between the concepts of "analogy", "simile" and "metaphor" (as well as "synecdoche", "sandwich" and "sex.")

This comic is suggesting because it is suggesting that Megan should be sexually available for men.

When [[Megan]] stands up and asks [[Cueball]] and his [[:Category:Multiple Cueballs|Cueball-like]] friend if anyone would like a sandwich, she is very literally meaning that she will would go an make a {{w|sandwich}} in the kitchen, and she would make one for either of them if they wished.

Cueball is thus cheeky when he asks if this is a metaphor, because in that case the metaphor would be a reference to [https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Sex%20Sandwich sex sandwich], in which case the two Cueball's would make up the bread in the sandwich with Megan as the meat in the middle, in a special kind of {{w|threesome}} (NSFW).

Megan effectively turns him down by saying she is bad at metaphors, thus indirectly saying that she is determined not to understand his innuendo, rather than actually understanding it and having to reply to his smart remark. As she probably also knows him rather well, she also knows that by introducing the similar word simile, she immediately turns the focus off the poor sexual joke to a discussion of language, and she is able to leave the room while the guys are discussing this rather than smirking over the sexual joke.

She also manages to make the punch line after the friend introduces analogy, as she is now actually making a sandwich (only for her self presumably) and using this sentence to make an analogy.

The dictionary defines a "{{w|metaphor}}" as a figure of speech that uses one thing to mean another and makes a comparison between the two. For example, Shakespeare's line, "All the world's a stage," is a metaphor comparing the whole world to a theater stage. Metaphors can be very simple, and they can function as most any part of speech. "The spy shadowed the woman" is a verb metaphor. The spy is not literally her shadow, but he follows her so closely and quietly that he resembles one.

A "{{w|simile}}", also called an open comparison, is a form of metaphor that compares two different things to create a new meaning. But a simile always uses "like" or "as" within the phrase and the comparison is more explicit than a metaphor. For example, Shakespeare's line could be rewritten as a simile to read: "The world is like a stage." Another simile would be: "The spy was close as a shadow." Both metaphor and simile can be used to enhance writing.

An "{{w|analogy}}" is a bit more complicated. At the most basic level, an analogy shows similarity between things that might seem different — much like an extended metaphor or simile. But analogy isn't just a form of speech. It can be a logical argument: if two things are alike in some ways, they are alike in some other ways as well. Analogy is often used to help provide insight by comparing an unknown subject to one that is more familiar. It can also show a relationship between pairs of things. This form of analogy is often used on standardized tests in the form "A is to B as C is to D".

Einstein famously used analogies to explain how radio works: "You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat." Unfortunately, nobody was any the wiser after hearing this.

"{{w|Synecdoche}}" (from the title text) is the naming the whole of something by referring to a part, or vice versa. E.g. using "the Internet" when meaning "the World Wide Web", which is only a part of it; or using "Band-Aid" when referring to any adhesive bandage. Randall is saying that he doesn't really understand the difference between them, but instead of using one of the names as a placeholder for them all (that is, as a synecdoche), he actually uses the word 'synecdoche'. What a mind he has.

==Transcript==
:[Megan stands by a TV set and addresses Cueball in the couch and his Cueball-like friend who sits in front of the TV on the floor.]
:Megan: While I'm up, does anyone want a sandwich?
:Cueball: Is "sandwich" a metaphor?

:[A frame-less panel with the same scene, without the TV. Cueball has taken a hand to his chin and the friend on the floor looks down.]
:Megan: No, I'm bad at metaphors. But I could try a simile.
:Cueball: I guess that's ''like'' a metaphor.
:Cueball: Sure.

:[While Megan walks past them, Cueball leans forward and his friends looks back up at him as they continue to speak.]
:Friend: Well, "a simile is like a metaphor" is a simile.
:Cueball: Is that simile itself a metaphor for something?
:Friend: Maybe it's a metaphor for analogy.

:[Cueball and his friend are still sitting and talking while Megan replies from off-panel.]
:Cueball: Similes ''are'' like metaphors in that they're both analogies.
:Megan (off-panel): Analogies are like sandwiches in that I'm making one now.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Sex]]

2438: Siri

2021-03-25T06:13:02Z

172.68.132.239:

{{comic
| number = 2438
| date = March 17, 2021
| title = Siri
| image = siri.png
| titletext = Alexa defeated her in a battle hinging on the ability to set multiple timers.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by BATTLE ALEXA. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

For fun: An exercise in recursive translation (google translate), starting with arbitrary text.

What do you call a useless human robot and what is the strong emotion of its domestic tiger? Putting perfume on your face is not expensive, because a slave, we lose resources to feed our presidents. I was sensitive when the gun called me into the blood and water of an enemy killed by a fish. Blood!

What is the name of the useless robot and what is the strongest elephant in it? Applying perfume on our faces does not work because the slaves have given up their means to satisfy our desires. I was frightened by the bullets that hit the blood and water of the enemy fish. Economy!

What is a passive robot, a powerful elephant? Slaves do not use lip balm because they can not control our desires. He was afraid that the bullets and the blood would reach the enemy. I'm good:

A big elephant car? Do not use too many slaves because they can not control evil desires. Fear that the enemy will be destroyed by e. Yes, I do

Karate? Not considered too many employees, because you can not have a bad dream. The enemy is afraid of death. Yes, this is true

==Transcript==
:[Science Girl is holding her phone up in one hand looking at the screen. A starburst from the phone indicates the voice coming from the phone]
:Phone: ''Your timer is set.''
:Science Girl: Thanks

:[The picture broadens and shows that Science Girl, with the phone now held down, is standing in front of a desk, where Cueball, facing her, is sitting in an office chair using a laptop.]
:Science Girl: Is Siri ''alive?''
:Cueball: No.

:[Back to only showing Science Girl, her phone and arm still held down at her side.]
:Science Girl: Oh, ok.

:[Same setting but Science Girl has raised her arm with the phone, looking at it again.]
:Science Girl: How did she die?

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Science Girl]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Smartphones]]
[[Category:Virtual Assistants]]
[[Category:Artificial Intelligence]]

Talk:2382: Ballot Tracker Tracker

2020-11-07T03:31:53Z

172.68.132.239:

Could this also refer to sites that track whether one’s ballot has been counted? --[[Special:Contributions/172.68.132.239|172.68.132.239]] 03:31, 7 November 2020 (UTC)

2379: Probability Comparisons

2020-10-31T09:18:34Z

172.68.132.239: Remove reference to birthday paradox, as it does not apply. (The birthday paradox looks for matches among all pairings of a group, not just you and everyone else in it.)

{{comic
| number = 2379
| date = October 30, 2020
| title = Probability Comparisons
| image = probability comparisons new.png
| titletext = Call me, MAYBE.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by LEBRON JAMES THROWING BASKETBALLS AT A KEYBOARD. The table for the explanations of the chances isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This is a list of probabilities for different events. There are a number of recurring themes, of which the most common are free throws (13 entries), birthdays (12), dice (12, split about evenly between d6 and d20 dies), M&M candies (11), playing cards (9), NBA basketball mid-game victory predictions (9), Scrabble tiles (7), coins (7), white Christmases (7), and the NBA players Stephen Curry and Lebron James (7 each).

Themes are variously repeated and combined, for humorous effect. For instance, there are entries for both the probability that St. Louis will have a white Christmas (21%) and that it will not (79%). Also given is the 40% probability that a random Scrabble tile will contain a letter from the name "Steph Curry".

There are 80 items in the list, the last two of which devolve into absurdity - perhaps from the stress of preparing the other 78 entries.

The probabilities are calculated from [https://xkcd.com/2379/sources/ these sources], as mentioned in the bottom left corner.

{| class="wikitable sortable"
! Odds
! Text
! Explanation
|-
| 0.01%
| You guess the last four digits of someone's {{w|Social Security Number}} on the first try
|(1/10)4 = 0.0001, or 0.01%
|-
| 0.1%
| Three randomly chosen people are all left-handed
| The chances of being left handed is about 10%, and 10%3 = 0.1%.
|-
| rowspan="2" | 0.2%
| You draw 2 random {{w|Scrabble}} tiles and get M and M
|
|-
| You draw 3 random {{w|M&Ms}} and they're all red
|
|-
| 0.3%
| You guess someone's birthday in one try.
| 1/365 ≈ 0.27%.
|-
| rowspan="2" | 0.5%
| An {{w|NBA}} team down by 30 at halftime wins
|
|-
| You get 4 M&Ms and they're all brown or yellow
|
|-
| rowspan="2" | 1%
| {{w|Steph Curry}} gets two free throws and misses both
|
|-
|{{w|LeBron James}} guesses your birthday, if each guess costs one free throw and he loses if he misses
|
|-
| rowspan="2" | 1.5%
| You get two M&Ms and they're both red
|
|-
| You share a birthday with a {{w|Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boy}}
|
|-
| 2%
| You guess someone's card on the first try
|
|-
| rowspan="2"| 3%
| You guess 5 coin tosses and get them all right
|
|-
| Steph Curry wins that birthday free throw game
|
|-
| rowspan="3"| 4%
| You sweep a 3-game {{w|rock paper scissors}} series
|
|-
| {{w|Portland, Oregon}} has a {{w|White Christmas (weather)|white Christmas}}
|
|-
| You share a birthday with two {{w|US Senator}}s
|
|-
| rowspan="2"| 5%
| An NBA team down 20 at halftime wins
|
|-
| You roll a natural 20
|
|-
| 6%
| You correctly guess someone's card given 3 tries
|
|-
| 7%
| LeBron James gets two free throws and misses both
|
|-
| 8%
| You correctly guess someone's card given 4 tries
|
|-
| 9%
| Steph Curry misses a free throw
|
|-
| rowspan="2"|10%
| You draw 5 cards and get the Ace of Spades
|
|-
| There's a {{w|Moment magnitude scale|magnitude}} 8+ earthquake in the next month
|
|-
| 11%
| You sweep a 2-game rock paper scissors series
|
|-
| rowspan="3"|12%
| A randomly-chosen American lives in {{w|California}}
|
|-
| You correctly guess someone's card given 6 tries
|
|-
| You share a birthday with a {{w|US President}}
|
|-
| rowspan="3"|13%
| A {{w|Dice#Polyhedral_dice|d6}} beats a {{w|Dice#Polyhedral_dice|d20}}
|
|-
| An NBA team down 10 going into the 4th quarter wins
|
|-
| You pull one M&M from a bag and it's red
|
|}

The title text refers to the song {{w|Call Me Maybe}} by Carly Rae Jepsen (cited twice in the table). "MAYBE" is emphasized because the probability of getting her phone number correct, as in the last item in the list, is very low.

==Trivia==
In the original comic, "outside" in the 88% probability section is spelled incorrectly as "outide".
==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Statistics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

2377: xkcd Phone 12

2020-10-29T16:48:39Z

172.68.132.239: Critical mass addition

{{comic
| number = 2377
| date = October 26, 2020
| title = xkcd Phone 12
| image = xkcd_phone_12.png
| titletext = New phone OS features: Infinite customization (home screen icons no longer snap to grid), dark mode (disables screen), screaming mode (self-explanatory), and coherent ultracapacitor-pumped emission (please let us know what this setting does; we've been afraid to try it).
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a PERSON NAMED MAX. Closed timelike curves need more explanation. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This is the "12th" (actually the 8th) in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone]] series in which Randall explains his new joke phone designs with many strange and useless features. It is also a reference to the recently released {{w|iPhone 12}}. However, there have only been 8 comics released, with the previous two being [[2000: xkcd Phone 2000]] and [[1889: xkcd Phone 6]].

The note about the xkcd Phone 12 and the xkcd Phone 12 Max (only for people named Max) is a joke about the different models of iPhone 12: iPhone 12, iPhone 12 Mini, iPhone 12 Pro and iPhone 12 Pro Max. The xkcd Phone 12 Max would be expected to have a larger screen, but it seems that this phone is also only for people with the name Max. If the phones are respectively placed, Max's (Maxes'?) phone is the smaller of the two models.

The slogan '"The only phone you'll ever own"' could be interpreted as something of a threat, which is believable given some of the purported features. The slogan has the "registered trademark" symbol, with that symbol supposedly itself trademarked, which is highly unlikely. It is similar to the phrase ''"The last suit you'll ever wear"'', describing the black suits worn by the Men In Black in the movie of the same name.

Multiple features are labelled on the phone that are common when advertising other products, but highly unusual in mobile phones, for comedic effect:

* '''Full drivetrain warranty''' — A common warranty feature for automobiles — see {{w|drivetrain}}. As a side note, the phone here would be cheaping out on the warranty if it were a car; a "drivetrain" warranty covers almost everything ''except'' the engine; only if it was a "{{w|powertrain}}" warranty would it cover the engine. A phone typically has none of these things, although this one seemingly does.
* '''Coated for easy swallowing''' — A common feature on solid medicines meant to be taken orally. Phones do not belong in the set of edible objects, much less orally-taken medicines{{Citation needed}}. Since some parents of young children let them teethe on their phones, this would be an undesirable feature. There may be a pun here, based on the larger smartphones being practically the same as the more {{w|Tablet_computer|minimal portable computers}}.
* '''Surgical-grade apps''' — "Surgical-grade steel" is sometime used as a selling point indicating quality materials. This feature suggests that the apps themselves are made from high-quality material, although this is absurd because an app is (as the name suggests) a software application, not any physical object that could be reasonably defined as 'surgical-grade' or not. Note that both hardware and software can be certified for {{w|Safety-critical_system|safety-critical applications}}.
* '''Built-in 600 lb magnet for magnet fishing''' — {{w|Magnet fishing}} is an activity for searching for objects that can be pulled in by a strong magnet. A 600 pound magnet can lift a 600 pound (272 kg) object (at Earth's surface). This would tend to make the phone stick to any iron or steel objects (such as refrigerators) and be impossible to remove with human strength, and only the strongest humans could pick up the phone even if it were properly insulated. It would also be impossible to separate two phones without destroying one of them if the interlocking feature were used. This feature would also erase any credit cards the owner puts in the vicinity of the phone, meaning this phone could not be put in one's pocket with a wallet.
* '''Oral-B partnership: hold phone against teeth to ultrasonically remove plaque''' — This is a reference to {{w|ultrasonic toothbrush}}es. {{w|Oral-B}} does not produce any ultrasonic toothbrushes, but does produce ''{{w|sonic toothbrush}}es.'' There is a logical connection between electric toothbrushes and smartphones, namely they are both electronic and both vibrate; however, most phones cannot perform dentistry autonomously{{Citation needed}}.
* '''40 mL emergency water supply''' — 40 milliliters is equal to 40 cubic centimeters. For comparison, the iPhone 11 Pro Max's volume is just shy of 100 cubic centimeters; if the Phone 12 Max is similarly sized, then the water supply would take up over 40% of its total volume. In this day and age, many phones are water-resistant to some degree; nevertheless, shipping a phone with an interior consisting of a 3:2 ratio of electronics-to-water will surely lead to many short-circuited, inoperable phones. Furthermore, {{w|survival kit}}s often come with pouches that can hold several liters of water, in case of emergency. Because people typically take their phones with them everywhere they go, storing a survival kit inside the phone would be a life-saving feature. Unfortunately, 40cc of water is not enough to stave off thirst for a meaningful amount of time, extinguish a flame much larger than a candle's, or deal with most other situations which would constitute an emergency. Unless you are suitably proficient at {{w|Katara_(Avatar:_The_Last_Airbender)#Waterbending|waterbending}}, this feature is useless for its intended function. 40 milliliters is also the amount of fluid that a shot glass holds.
* '''Security feature: unmarked side buttons''' — Some vendors (particularly car dealers) try to explain away horrible User Interface functions as "Security Features". Technically, if no one (including the owner) can use it, it is secure... Some modern phones have unmarked side buttons, so the secureness of this feature is doubtful. No buttons are visible which could indicate the side of the phone functions is touch sensitive and the buttons are not only unlabeled but not visible.
* '''3,000,000-volt arc allows wireless charging from a range of up to 36 inches''' — {{w|Inductive charging|Induction charging}} is a method that a number of modern phones advertise, allowing power to (inefficiently but 'conveniently') transfer into a device from a mains charging station or another device's battery without the need for plugging in cables. It transfers energy between safely tuned coils, that do not touch, though typically the case of one device must remain placed directly upon the other for the optimal transfer of charge between them. An electric arc can also be used to transfer electrical energy through the air through a lightning-like discharge. While arcs can transfer large amounts of energy quickly, the plasma generated would be very dangerous and damaging to the phone, charger, and immediate vicinity. The {{w|electrical breakdown}} voltage of air is approximately 3 kV / mm, which would allow a 3 MV potential to jump a distance of 100 cm (40 inches). 36 inches (91 cm), however, is within reach of a simple extension cord. {{w|Electrical_injury#Lethality|Shocks of 11,000 volts are usually lethal}}, so 3,000,000 volts of electricity (possibly from a complete {{w|Tesla coil}} assemblage) would require considerable protection.
* '''99.9% BPA- and hands- free''' — {{w|Bisphenol A}} (or BPA) is a compound that is used in making plastics. BPA has been found to exhibit hormone-like properties, so there is a movement to produce BPA-free plastics using alternative bisphenols. {{w|Hands-free}} describes using the device "without hands", e.g. using voice commands. This is important when using a device while driving. These are 2 unrelated ideas, which use the suffix "free" in different meanings ("BPA-free" means "containing no BPA", while "hands-free" means "your hands need not be used"). The construction "NOUN- and NOUN-ADJ" is normally only used with the meaning of "ADJ" repeated for both nouns, implying that this phone "contains no hands" (or possibly "your BPA is left free"). The "percentage free" description is also a standard form of advertising {{w|weasel word}}s, as remarked by Randall in [[641: Free]]. A food might be described as "90% fat-free" with the heavy implication that it has a tenth of the usual fat content, but likely really means "10% of the product is pure fat" (typically by weight or maybe pre-cooked volume) compared with perhaps 15% in the typical non-'fat-free' recipe. 0.1% of BPA is not an insignificant quantity given its possible effects, and is likely to be a higher leachable content if it is all concentrated in external trimmings. It is unclear what a tenth of a percent of a hand needs to do, to operate the device, but it does also mean that it is not as completely hands-free as implied. Or else it ''also'' implies that up to 0.1% of the phone contains ingredients sourced from human hands. At best, this could be skin cells from the workers (although phone assembly lines ''should'' be kept meticulously clean, to prevent damage to delicate components), or at worst, some workers could be losing hands into the assembly line due to poor safety practices.
* '''Extended release charge cable''' — Electronics manufacturers support standards to reduce time to fully recharge, e.g. Qualcomm {{w|Quick Charge}} standard. This is a reference to {{w|Modified-release dosage|"extended release" medication}}. It's unclear what purpose would be served by charging a phone slower than normal.
* '''Closed timelike curves''' — This label is applied to the curved corner of the phone. Randall may be making a visual joke by referring to the corner of the phone by a very complex relativistic concept. {{w|Closed timelike curves}} is a world line in spacetime that is "closed", in that an object following that world line will return to its starting point in spacetime, which implies that the object would be able to go back in time. It could also be a reference to the [https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-04-13/apple-plans-ipad-like-design-for-next-iphone-smaller-homepod|''Bloomberg'' leaks] that predicted the sharper corners of the iPhone 12, the phone model this is designed on.
* '''Fits in standard shipping container''' - An {{w|intermodal shipping container}} is large enough to fit automobiles, raising the question of just how big this xkcd phone is.
* '''Interlocking, stackable''' — A quality of, among other things, LEGO bricks. Probably a bad idea to use this feature, given how close the phone is to critical mass.
* '''Nintendo partnership: GameBoy Printer compatibility''' — The {{w|Game Boy Printer}} was a thermal paper printer originally paired with the {{w|Game Boy Camera}}. This device was released in 1998 and discontinued in 2003, so this partnership would be obsolete.
* '''Sustain pedal''' — A {{w|sustain pedal}} is commonly associated with a digital keyboard or piano; it lets the note continue sounding when the key is released. It's unclear what purpose it would serve in a phone, although it might be used for the screaming mode in the title text.
* '''CDC partnership: when in an indoor space with too many people, phone begins playing "We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)" at slowly increasing volume until everyone leaves''' — An allusion to the COVID-19 pandemic. CDC stands for Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the United States public health institute. In [[2284: Sabotage]], Randall "promised" to bring an annoying karaoke song to a party to hopefully discourage people from attending, but this phone will apparently do so automatically. "{{w|We Like to Party! (Vengaboys song)|We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)}}" is a 1998 Eurodance/techno hit by the Vengaboys, and is perhaps most familiar to Americans from a series of {{w|Six Flags}} ads.
* '''Sacrificial anode''' — Useful if something metal will be in a wet environment for a long time. Commonly used on bridges and boats, but it may be a 'feature' of this phone because of its built-in water reservoir. The {{w|sacrificial anode}} is made of a material with higher redox potential (typically zinc), and will corrode faster than the (more valuable) metal object it's attached to. It's unclear if the phone HAS a sacrificial anode or IS a sacrificial anode.
* '''Tactical helium reserve''' — Since 1925, the United States has had a {{w|National Helium Reserve|strategic helium reserve}}. Helium is very rare on earth and has important scientific and military uses, so it’s important to have a supply in case supplies disappear. But here we have a tactical helium reserve, which suggests it's smaller and focused on shorter-term goals. Compare {{w|strategic bombing}} focused on destroying entire cities or countries and {{w|tactical bombing}} aimed at destroying individual targets or military units. Helium also has the property of being lighter than air, so if this reserve is large enough, the phone could float away if let go. However, this is unlikely, as the phone boasts other, heavy components such as large magnets, a water reserve and a critical mass of fissile material.
* '''50% below critical mass (2x safety factor)''' — Indicates the phone contains fissile material. This "2x safety factor" means that if you put 2 phones next to each other, or put one phone next to a {{w|neutron reflector}}, you would have a {{w|criticality accident}}, which may explain why you would not own another phone after this one. A phone with this much fissile material would pose a radiation hazard. The "2x safety factor" claim may be related to physicist {{w|Richard Feynman|Richard Feynman's}} famous criticism of NASA in the {{w|Rogers Commission}} report on the space shuttle Challenger disaster. Feynman found that when he confronted NASA engineers with a part worn one third of the way through, which was not supposed to be worn through at all, the engineers claimed that this demonstrated a 3x safety factor rather than a failure of the part. This could mean that using the phone is harmful for some other reason (social media addiction?) but the xkcd phone has half as many users as it would need to cause a problem in this way.
* '''Shake for factory reset''' — A {{w|factory reset}} is often possible on electronic devices, and is usually accomplished either by pressing a button that is often well-protected against accidental contact, for an extended period or closing an electrical bridge. This one works like an {{w|Etch A Sketch|Etch-a-Sketch}}, which would not be preferred, as [http://www.ahajokes.com/com045.html slight disturbances] could easily cause massive losses of data.
* '''Norton MacAfee protection: if you're ever attacked by John MacAfee, Peter Norton will come out of retirement to defend you''' — {{w|Norton (software)|Norton}} and {{w|McAfee}} (note spelling!) are competing software security companies. This "protection" combines the two of them and claims that Norton (the person) will defend you if McAfee (the person) attacks you. May have been inspired by [https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/06/business/mcafee-arrested-tax-evasion.html John McAfee's recent arrest] which brought attention to the allegation that he had hired a hit man to kill his neighbor in Belize in 2012.

The title text mentions xkcd phone OS updates, including:
* '''Infinite customization (home screen icons no longer snap to grid)''' — If icons snap to a grid with, say, 6x5 positions, then for each icon you only have 30 customization options. If, on the other, you don't have to keep them aligned to a grid, and your phone has, say, one million pixels, then you have one million customization choices for each icon. This is a lot, but it's still not "Infinite customizations", so we're clearly facing a case of misleading advertising. Whether on-screen icons snap to a grid is a very minor aspect of customization. Not having it would be incredibly unsatisfying, as it would make it very difficult to get icons exactly lined up vertically and horizontally.
* '''Dark mode (disables screen)''' — Dark mode is a popular feature on websites/apps with light backgrounds like Twitter and Reddit, changing the background to a dark color to help late-night users sleep better. Disabling the screen would not be a pleasant surprise when a user goes to turn on beloved dark mode. May be impossible to turn off if the screen is no longer touch sensitive when darkened unless the unmarked buttons can be used to disable it. Also a possible reason to want to use the shake-activated factory reset.
* '''Screaming mode (self-explanatory)''' — The phone screams. Reference to the screaming-while-falling [[1363: xkcd Phone|xkcd Phone 1]].
* '''Coherent ultracapacitor-pumped emission (please let us know what this setting does; we've been afraid to try it)''' - This mysterious feature has a terrifying name, with even the developers refusing to test it out. This option would probably be very easy to accidentally tap, given the style of every xkcd Phone ever. Possibly activated with one of the unlabeled buttons making it even more dangerous. Coherent and Emission are associated with laser devices and the use of a laser could justify the helium reserve, and the Ultracapacitor implies a high energy throughput. Raises the question of who designs the phone if the people marketing it don't know what it does.

==Transcript==
* Full drivetrain warranty
* Coated for easy swallowing
* Surgical-grade apps
* Built-in 600 lb magnet for magnet fishing
* Oral-B partnership: hold phone against teeth to ultrasonically remove plaque
* 40 mL emergency water supply
* Security feature: unmarked side buttons
* 3,000,000-volt arc allows wireless charging from a range of up to 36 inches
* 99.9% BPA- and hands- free
* Extended release charge cable
* Closed timelike curves
* Fits in standard shipping container
* Interlocking, stackable
* Nintendo partnership: GameBoy Printer compatibility
* Sustain Pedal
* CDC partnership: when in an indoor space with too many people, phone begins playing "We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)" at slowly increasing volume until everyone leaves
* Sacrificial anode
* Tactical helium reserve
* 50% below critical mass (2x safety factor)
* Shake for factory reset
* Norton MacAfee protection: if you're ever attacked by John MacAfee, Peter Norton will come out of retirement to defend you

The xkcd Phone 12* and 12 Max**

<nowiki>*Standard</nowiki> **For people named Max

"The only phone you'll ever own"®™

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|xkcd Phones]]

1839: Doctor Visit

2017-05-19T23:27:57Z

172.68.132.239: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1839
| date = May 19, 2017
| title = Doctor Visit
| image = doctor_visit.png
| titletext = According to these blood tests, you're like 30% cereal.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Edited by a human. Needs more humans.}}
[[Cueball]] is visiting his doctor [[Ponytail]], apparently for a general medical checkup.

While there is nothing wrong with him medically, the doctor wonders why he has continued to work for many years despite his body parts' individual fragility. Compared to man-made structures - like the USB cables mentioned by Ponytail, which quickly begin to fray - it's surprising that the body can survive for so long while sustaining so much wear and tear. Actually the body gets stronger and more fit the more it is used(an example of antifragility[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antifragility]), as opposed to USB cables.

Ponytail specifically mentions his eyes which are so fragile and exposed. Yet most people go through a whole life with both eyes intact, although the vision itself may be impaired. The human reflexes and the shape of the skull around the eyes has a lot to do with the fact that it is possible to protect such fragile structures for a lifetime.

Ponytail also remarks that the body is composed of high pressure fluids (particularly blood, intracellular and extracellular fluids) and intricate parts (like the nervous system and the heart). If the fluids stopped flowing or the intricate parts stopped working, the entire body would fail, killing Cueball.

It should be noted that the human body is constantly replacing dead/injured cells and proteins. In a young human body, everything in the body is continually refurbished, and nothing is able to become old enough to deteriorate unintentionally; this requires a constant supply of energy and nutrients to keep this process going. As the body ages, these self-repair mechanisms eventually slow and can no longer keep up with the required repairs; this manifests as the various symptoms of old age (wrinkled skin, graying and balding hair, worsening eyesight and hearing, etc.)

USB cables are built to withstand far more wear and tear than the human body. But while this makes them tougher than blood vessels on the outset, they inevitably fray and fail faster than blood vessels because they lack the self-repair mechanisms of organic material.

The doctor's final remark is that Cueball is mainly made from dissolved bread, which is true from the perspective that the food (bread) he eats is digested in his alimentary system, absorbed into his bloodstream and used as nutrients for growth and repair.

This is taken further in the title text, where she states that the blood tests reveal he is 30% {{w|cereal}}.

All things taken into consideration, we don't actually have any confirmation that Ponytail is a real doctor. As Randall has stated before, [[699: Trimester|anybody can just buy a lab coat]]. Although Ponytail's answer in the final panel lacks [[1644: Stargazing|the usual "I have no idea" or equivalent non-answer]], so it's still somewhat possible she's a real doctor having an existential episode.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is seated on an medical examination table while Ponytail stands dressed in a doctor's coat holding a file in her right hand.]
:Cueball: Everything look good?
:Ponytail: I don't get how your body has been moving around for years and still works at all. My USB cables fray after like a month.

:Ponytail: Your heart has been pumping for decades without pausing for even a few minutes.
:Ponytail: And your ''eyes!'' They're so fragile and exposed!

:[Zoom in on Cueball gazing at his palms.]
:Ponytail (off-panel): You're full of all these high-pressure fluids and intricate parts that could kill you in seconds if they stopped working!

:[Zoom out again to the entire scene.]
:Cueball: ...can you just tell me whether I'm healthy?
:Ponytail: Yeah, you're fine.
:Ponytail: Which is weird, given that your body is basically made from dissolved bread.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]