explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1948: Campaign Fundraising Emails

2018-01-29T17:43:09Z

172.68.54.70:

{{comic
| number = 1948
| date = January 29, 2018
| title = Campaign Fundraising Emails
| image = campaign_fundraising_emails.png
| titletext = The establishment doesn't take us seriously. You know who else they didn't take seriously? Hitler. I'll be like him, but a GOOD guy instead of...
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Many politicians and organizations in the United States have taken to using aggressive fundraising campaigns by email to seek campaign contributions.

This comic shows a caricature of many people's email inboxes right now. Signing a petition or expressing interest in a cause can lead to being added to a myriad of mailing lists for similar groups, all looking for support. However, the emails get more and more absurd as the list goes on. For example, the last one combines a request for campaign contributions with the infamous Nigerian Prince phishing scheme.

'''HOPELESS''' may refer to the videogame Fable 3 where the player needed to generate funds to protect the land from the Darkness.

'''OUTRAGEOUS'''. When a politician makes an offensive comment, it's common for the politician's opponents to send out fundraising emails pointing out the politician's offensiveness as a reason to give money to an opponent. Here, the sender's reaction and e-mail fundraising effort appears to be unusually delayed, as it refers to an alleged comment by {{w|Gerald Ford}}, whose term as President of the United States ended in 1977 and who died in 2006.

'''OUR CAMPAIGN'S ONLY CHANCE'''. This e-mail alludes to [https://secure.actblue.com/ ActBlue], a political action committee that collects donations online for Democratic candidates. In reality, there is no Actblue family nor any "Jennifer Actblue" who is the heir to its fortune; the name ActBlue comes from the words "act" and "blue", referring to the {{w|Red states and blue states|color currently associated with the Democratic Party}}.

'''DOOM''' This is an excerpt from Tolkien's poem ''Lament of the Rohirrim,'' appearing in The Two Towers. 
Where now the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? 
Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing? 
Where is the hand on the harpstring, and the red fire glowing? 
Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing? 
They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow; 
The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow. 
Who shall gather the smoke of the dead wood burning, 
Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning? 

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}

Talk:1943: Universal Dreams

2018-01-17T17:38:26Z

172.68.54.70:

Something is very wrong with the title text. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.65.240|172.68.65.240]] 17:09, 17 January 2018 (UTC)
:Yea, I think it's because the title text on xkcd.com is actually designed to change the font midway to make it more jarring. [[User:Cgrimes85|Cgrimes85]] ([[User talk:Cgrimes85|talk]]) 17:13, 17 January 2018 (UTC)

"This suggest an earthquake would happen soon in one of those major cities". Why? It's not hollywood, earthquakes can happen even in unpopulated areas. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.54.70|172.68.54.70]] 17:38, 17 January 2018 (UTC)

1921: The Moon and the Great Wall

2017-12-05T03:26:59Z

172.68.54.70: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1921
| date = November 27, 2017
| title = The Moon and the Great Wall
| image = the_moon_and_the_great_wall.png
| titletext = And arguably sunspots, on rare occasions. But even if they count, it takes ideal conditions and you might hurt your eyes.
}}

==Explanation==
This is a reference to the myth that the {{w|Great Wall of China}} is the only manmade object that can be seen from the {{w|Moon}} (or from space) with the naked eye. {{w|Great_Wall_of_China#Visibility_from_space|Sadly, it cannot}}. In fact, it's barely visible from the low orbit of satellites.

This comic mocks the myth by conflating it with another saying about the Moon, and how the Moon's craters and valleys are visible to the naked human eye. Indeed, the Moon is the only {{w|Astronomical object|celestial body}} for which this is true, as all other bodies (with the potential exception of the Sun, see the title text) can only be seen as tiny points of light by the unaided human eye. There is nothing special about the Great Wall of China in this factoid, though; the Moon’s features can be seen equally well from any place on Earth with a view of the Moon.

The title text states that one is sometimes able to see large {{w|sunspots}} if any are present and conditions are ideal. However, looking directly at the sun with the naked eye risks extensive damage to the eye and should NEVER be done. It could, however, be possible to see them when the Sun is seen through a thin cloud cover or maybe at sunset/sunrise. (It's possible to see very large sunspots with {{w|solar eclipse}} glasses or other adequate {{w|Eye protection#Protection against light|protection}}, but that's not unaided human eye.)

==Transcript==
:[Megan is holding her arm up towards Ponytail as they stand atop a large brick wall with {{w|Merlon|merlons}} along the top. They are standing to the left of a tower with three small windows as well as merlons on the top.]
:Megan: Did you know that the moon's craters and plains are the only structures on the surface of a celestial body that can be seen with the naked eye from the Great Wall of China?

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category: Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category: Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category: Astronomy]]

1922: Interferometry

2017-11-29T16:30:29Z

172.68.54.70: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1922
| date = November 29, 2017
| title = Interferometry
| image = interferometry.png
| titletext = It's important to note that while the effective size of the dog can be arbitrarily large, it's not any more of a good dog than the two original dogs.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
Beret Guy and Cueball are walking Beret Guy's dogs when BG makes a comment on how interferometry is really cool. Interferometry is the practice of overlapping two different waves to get a different signal, which can be used to determine the distance between two reflecting surfaces. Beret Guy states that two dogs placed at a consistent interval will function as a larger dog. While this idea works on waves, it probably won't work on dogs, which is why Cueball is confused and starts to correct him. Before he can respond, however, Beret Guy jumps on this "large" dog and appears to be floating in midair. The large dog is further proved when it gives out a large bark. Cueball looks on confused while Beret Guy appears to break more laws of physics, again.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
[Beret Guy and Cueball are walking with their dogs.]
Beret Guy: Interferometry. Is so cool!

[The two dogs are placed a small distance apart.}
Beret Guy: If you put two small dogs a large distance apart, they can function as a larger dog.

Cueball: I'm not sure that's-
[He is cut off by Beret Guy jumping onto an invisible steed, most likely the "bigger dog".]
Beret Guy: HYAH!

Beret Guy: Away!
[He rides away on the invisible dog with the two smaller dogs under him, while the invisible dog gives out a large bark.]

{{comic discussion}}

1810: Chat Systems

2017-03-14T12:33:01Z

172.68.54.70:

{{comic
| number = 1810
| date = March 13, 2017
| title = Chat Systems
| image = chat_systems.png
| titletext = I'm one of the few Instagram users who connects solely through the Unix 'talk' gateway.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Fill in the table and explain the title text. The main purpose of an euler diagram needs to be explained. (E.g. BBM in eMail; WhatsApp in eMail and SMS)}}
The comic shows an {{w|Euler diagram}} with many different social media connection possibilities and their overlaps. Be not confused with a {{w|Venn diagram}} which is more restricted because every possible intersections must there be shown.

In the world of social media, connecting to and communicating with friends, relatives, and other acquaintances can be extremely easy, but due to the large amount of networks and systems through which to communicate, and the selective nature of the people using them, it can be difficult to keep track of who uses which system(s), and thus, communication can be more complicated by social media as well.

;Chat systems mentioned
{| class="wikitable"
!System
!Number of people in group
!Explanation
|-
| {{w|Email}}
|35
|A popular form of electronic communication that saw first widespread use in the 1960s. It allows you to send electronic "letters" to people using pre-exchanged email addresses. Many people use this platform, hence the large size of the corresponding circle.
|-
| {{w|SMS}}
|39
|Short Message System; a text-based messaging system connecting most worldwide phone systems that had its beginnings in the 1980s and has since represented the most common form of data transmission for most people. It is principally used to send short text messages between mobile phones, but most phone carriers provide facilities to send-to-email or send-to-voice (for use with landline phones). Most major phone carriers also provide support for email-to-SMS.
|-
| {{w|Hangouts}}
|9
|Google Hangouts is Google's instant messaging system. It can be used to share data and for video chat.
|-
| {{w|Signal_(software)|Signal}}
|8
| An app used for encrypted communications.
|-
| {{w|iMessage}}
|6
|Apple's SMS service
|-
| {{w|IRC}}
|5
|Internet Relay Chat is an old chat system which many people refuse to switch off of.
|-
| {{w|Slack_(software)|Slack}}
|5
|A team instant messaging service
|-
| {{w|Twitter|Twitter DM}}
|4
| "Direct messages" between users on Twitter.
|-
| {{w|AIM}}
|2
|AOL Instant Messaging service; a popular messaging system from the 1990s that suffered a severe decline in 2005 upon the release of Gmail and Google Chat. It is based on the closed source OSCAR protocol, but AOL created the TOC/TOC2 protocol specifications, and made specifications openly available, for third parties to connect to their service. There have been short-lived dalliances with other protocols since 2008; it has never had direct support for the other widely used protocols here.
|-
|The "chat" tab in an old {{w|Google Doc}}
|2
|Google Docs is an online word processor reminiscent of Microsoft Word. One of the notable features is online collaborative editing, with a rudimentary chat feature for communication. Randall apparently communicates with someone using the chat in an old Google Doc.
|-
| {{w|Facebook_Messenger|FB Messenger}}
|2
|Facebook's chat system.
|-
| {{w|Instagram|Instagram DM}}
|2
|Direct Messaging, a feature of Instagram that allows users to post personal messages to each other.
|-
|{{w|Peach_(social_network)|Peach}}
|2
|Peach is a mobile-based social network introduced in January 2016.
|-
| Telegram
|2
|Could refer to a cloud based instant messaging system by this name ({{w|Telegram (software)|Telegram}}), or to actually sending messages using {{w|telegrams}}. Telegrams were messages sent by electric telegraphy, which were often typed out and hand-delivered to the recipient. This was the first system for rapid communication across long distances that was widely available, originally developed in the 19th century. Naturally, telegraphy is now wildly obsolete (though some local services apparently do still exist) which would explain why Munroe communicates with so few people that way.
|-
| {{w|Skype}}
|2
|Microsoft's chat client. It offers VoIP video and audio calls, instant messaging and phoning from within the app.
|-
| {{w|WhatsApp}}
|2
|Billed as encrypted end-to-end chat, allows VoIP chats, text chats, video and image sharing. Caters for group chat as well.
|-
| {{w|WeChat}}
|2
| Started off as a Chinese WhatsApp imitation. WeChat has become a full scale social media with its own news, games and payment system.
|-
|{{w|Apache_HTTP_Server|Apache}} Request {{w|Server_log|Log}}
|1
|A file used by Apache HTML server to log page access requests by users, usually stored as access_log. Its use as a communications tool would require the user to embed their messages in URLs and the admin to look for the messages in the logs. It would be inconvenient and time consuming for both parties. It was implemented soon after here: [https://github.com/mdom/smokesignal github]
|-
| {{w|BlackBerry Messenger|BBM}}
|1
|Blackberry message. A chat system available on {{w|BlackBerry}} phones, now largely obsolete.
|-
| {{w|Snapchat}}
|1
|Snapchat is an image messaging app.
|-
|Wall (bathroom)
|1
|Apparently a chat system based around writing on the wall in the bathroom. Not an electronic system. Leaving messages on public bathroom walls is a common form of {{w|graffiti}}. It may be used as a support for anonymous conversations. Alternatively, this could mean the person is an extreme introvert, and hides in his bathroom instead of interacting with others, by talking through the wall. It could also be a pun on "communicating through _____" as a bathroom wall is a physical object rather than an interface. It could also refer to someone who has a habit of talking through the wall to people in adjacent stalls of a public bathroom.
|-
|{{w|Wall (Unix)}}
|1
|Short for "write all", the "wall" command copies its argument to every user logged into the same Unix system, and so can be used as a primitive chat system.
|-
| {{w|Zephyr (protocol)}}
|1
| Zephyr was designed as an instant messaging protocol and application-suite with a heavy Unix background.
|-
| {{w|ICQ}}
|1
|An older open-source instant messaging application.
|-
|{{w|Talk_(software)|Unix 'talk'}}
|*
|This is in the title text, and the only user is Munroe. Old peer-to-peer chat system whereby users logged into the same UNIX system could privately communicate with each other in a full-screen interface.
|}

;Related comics
*The ubiquity of standards - here, of messaging systems - was already covered in [[927: Standards]]
*For people's hesitation to switch off IRC see [[1782: Team Chat]]

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}
:[An Euler diagram with many circle like drawings for various chat systems is shown. Some circles overlapping others in complicated ways, others are single circles with no connections, but most are embedded into others.]


:[Caption below the frame:]
:I have a hard time keeping track of which contacts use which chat systems.

{{comic discussion}}

1802: Phone

2017-02-24T11:26:53Z

172.68.54.70:

{{comic
| number = 1802
| date = February 22, 2017
| title = Phone
| image = phone.png
| titletext = [*disables social networking accounts*] [*social isolation increases*] Wait, why does this ALSO feel bad?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Check for grammar errors and organize paragraphs.}}

When someone asks you if you want to go for a walk they often expect to have a conversation, while enjoying both the exercise, the fresh air and the company. Thus any disturbance not related to the walk is not welcome. Going for a walk is often seen as a way to relax from all the daily stress, as it takes the walkers away from work and chores.

[[Cueball]] agrees to go for a walk, but not to all the associated expectations. His first instinct is to bring along his smartphone, though rather than call it such, he opts for a lengthy description detailing all the functions he intends to use. Conspicuously, long-distance communication (ostensibly the primary function of a smartphone) is not listed.

Instead he describes the phone as his device that gives him a continuous ({{w|24/7 service|24/7}}) stream of information, much of which is often out of context. The stream contains people's opinions, context-free but scary news, and other random stimuli.

The opinions could be from news or bloggers but it could also just be from his friends on social media platforms. News stories that are shared on social media are often scary, which becomes even worse because news outlets are likely to use a title that exaggerates the topic to create a fear reaction. The random emotional stimuli could be from many things such as text messages/emails and pictures of kittens and babies on social network, and shared internet memes or viral videos. All things that could cause a quick shift in emotions.

As if all this was not enough to leave the phone at home, Cueball even says he will also take his spare battery, so he won't risk that his {{w|Web feed|constant feed}} could be interrupted, because he will not be able to recharge his phone during the walk.

All in all, his choice and constant need for staying updated and being on-line violates all the usual expectations, that his friend could have expected from asking him out for a walk.

The title text shows it would be possible to take an action to avoid this feed. In the first bracket a person (could be Cueball or [[Randall]]) ''disables all his social networking accounts''. Most of his news feed will thus disappear. But this leads to the next bracket which states that such a choice would lead to ''increased social isolation'', since he will no longer be in contact with any of his on-line friends. And today many people also get into contact with their "real" local friends through social media. One might thus miss out on events like parties or get-together, plus his friends not sharing a dislike for social media will not understand the decision. And this leads to the final sentence ''Wait, why does this ALSO feel bad?'' So there is no good choice, because it is bad to be off-line, but being on-line all the time is also bad. And it is hard to find the right balance. This problem with finding the right balance between two things seems related to the recent [[1796: Focus Knob]]

This comic could be seen as a counter to [[1773: Negativity]], as both deal with the inability to escape the media during objectively peaceful pastimes. While in the former, the nature attacks Cueball with the types of comments he wishes to avoid, here, he brings along his phone even though it will ruin the goal of the walk he is going to take. [[77: Bored with the Internet]] seems related to this comic.

==Transcript==
:[Someone off-panel asks Cueball a question which he answers while walking to a small table with some items laying on it.]
:Off-panel voice: Wanna go for a walk?
:Cueball: Sure, just need to grab my device that feeds me a 24/7 stream of opinions, context-free scary world news, and random emotional stimuli.
:Cueball: Plus a spare battery so the feed won't be interrupted.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Social networking]]
[[Category:Smartphones]]

1802: Phone

2017-02-22T18:52:09Z

172.68.54.70: /* Explanation */ typo

665: Prudence

2017-02-04T08:09:20Z

172.68.54.70: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 665
| date = November 20, 2009
| title = Prudence
| image = prudence.png
| titletext = Moments later, the White Witch rolls up and, confused, tries to tempt the probe with a firmware upgrade.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic references the fantasy novel series "{{w|The Chronicles of Narnia}}" by {{w|C. S. Lewis}}. In the first book, {{w|The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe}}, Lucy discovers the fictional world of Narnia which can be accessed through a wardrobe, and she walks into it without ever considering the risks. Her three older siblings do not believe her, so she travels back alone again. But this second time her brother Edmond follows her, and he is seduced by the White Witch in order for her to be able to kill him and his three siblings (see title text explanation below). Thus proving that it was a rather dangerous move to just walk into the wardrobe.

The comic mocks the imprudent behavior shown by the protagonists Lucy of the novel, who enter the world of Narnia without knowing anything about its dangers. In the comic, [[Megan]] discovers the magical wardrobe while playing {{w|hide-and-seek}}, like in the book. Unlike Lucy in the original book, Megan does not precipitately set foot into Narnia. Instead, she fetches her technical equipment and sends a remote-controlled probe through the wardrobe door in order to sound the situation first.

The probe is clearly modeled after Mars rovers like Spirit and Opportunity, which [[Randall]] depicted for the first time only a few comics later in [[681: Gravity Wells]] and then in [[695: Spirit]]. The probe looks even more like the one in [[1504: Opportunity]]. This also explains the title of the comic, as it is the name of Megan's probe. The naming scheme is similar to the two probes mentioned above that were already on Mars at the time of this comics release. And even more so like the upcoming {{w|Curiosity_(rover)|Curiosity rover}} which was first launched two years after this comic, but had {{w|Curiosity_(rover)#The_name:_Curiosity|been named}} earlier in the year this comic was released. Lucy was ''curious'' in the first Narnia book, Megan is ''[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/prudent prudent]'' in this comic..

The probe encounters {{w|Mr. Tumnus}} the faun with his umbrella at a lamppost in a snowy wood on the last panel. This picture is the first impression of Narnia in the novels and was apparently Lewis' original idea for the series.

The {{w|White Witch}} mentioned in the title text is the main antagonist in the novel. She originally lures Edmund with a hot drink and magical {{w|Turkish delight}} after her sleigh passes right by him. In the scenario mentioned in the title text, she is confused when she rolls up to the rover and then tries to tempt the probe with a firmware update accordingly.

The procedure of sending a probe first through a portal has also been used in the early Stargate episodes. This draws a parallel between the wardrobe in Narnia and the Stargate, both connecting two distant worlds. The stargate probe can be seen at [http://stargate.wikia.com/wiki/Mobile_Analytic_Laboratory_Probe here]

Megan takes a scientific approach to Narnia again in [[821: Five-Minute Comics: Part 3|a later comic]]. In that comic she uses the different passage of time in Narnia to her advantage (it usually runs much faster than on Earth). That effect would have been a problem with controlling the rover...

==Transcript==
:[Megan is running towards a closed wardrobe.]
:Voice (off-panel): Everyone hide! 99... 98... 97...

:[Megan opens one of the two doors on the wardrobe.]
:Wardrobe: click

:[Megan is looking inside the wardrobe through the fully opened door.]
:Megan: !!!

:[Megan puts a hand to her chin.]

:[Megan walks away.]

:[Megan returns with an armful of electronics including lots of wires and a rover with wheels.]

:[Megan is kneeling, typing on a laptop, which has a cord extending into the wardrobe.]

:[In a forest with many tall leafless trees the Mars rover is approaching a lamppost with a lit candle. Behind it stands a faun with horns, goatee beard and hooves holding an umbrella.]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan‏‎]]
[[Category:Mars rovers]]
[[Category:Fiction]]

821: Five-Minute Comics: Part 3

2017-02-04T08:05:40Z

172.68.54.70: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 821
| date = November 19, 2010
| title = Five-Minute Comics: Part 3
| image = five minute comics part 3.png
| titletext = Resulting in The Little Rock 9x + C.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the third of three "five-minute comics" Randall posted during a week in November 2010. The introduction to the comic explains everything you need to know about the circumstances behind it.

Randall obviously made more than three of these five minutes comics, and one of them was published later, for a short period of time by a mistake, but an android xkcd browser picked it up while it was on-line and saved it. Since then it has been added to explain xkcd. So here is a complete list of all four comics in the entire [[:Category:Five-minute comics|Five-minute comics]] series:
*[[819: Five-Minute Comics: Part 1]]
*[[820: Five-Minute Comics: Part 2]]
*[[821: Five-Minute Comics: Part 3]]
*[[Five-Minute Comics: Part 4]]

Here is a list with explanations for each of the small comics:
*{{w|Pearl Harbor}} is a US Navy base that was {{w|Attack on Pearl Harbor|attacked}} in 1941 by Japanese airplanes, which prompted the US to join World War II. The attacks were made on ''December'' 7, 1941, not November 7. Thus, Randall is correct in depicting a Navy base going about its usual business.

*{{w|Breastfeeding in public}} is a touchy subject in parts of the world. In the US, it is considered by some to be inconsiderate to others who would prefer not to see such a display. Of course, women breastfeeding in public are generally feeding their infants, not other adults. The situation presented in the comic is an absurd exaggeration of the debate.

*"s" is the command in {{w|sed}} to perform a pattern search-and-replace; the syntax has also been adopted by other text-processing utilities, including {{w|Perl}} (a favorite subject of xkcd), and has entered into the geek lexicon as something that could appear in general conversation. The specific command "s/I think that/I saw a study once that said/g" means "Find all occurrences of the phrase 'I think that', and replace it with the phrase 'I saw a study once that said'." This will, indeed, improve the persuasiveness of an article, as the existence of scientific evidence will make people more likely to believe what's said, while most people won't even think to actually look up the study in question.

*Arson is the crime of intentionally setting fire to a structure. {{w|Billy Joel}} will no doubt claim {{w|We Didn't Start the Fire|he didn't start the fire}}. And it turned out that they believed him. This was mentioned in the title text of [[1794: Fire]], which displays another similarly folded newspaper front page, with only the headline readable. The picture shown the fire Billy was arrested for, but he was only detained briefly.

*Coca-Cola is a fizzy cola-flavored soft drink, commonly abbreviated as "coke." {{w|Pop Rocks}} are a candy that contain tiny bubbles of gas, so that as the sugary candy dissolves on your tongue, it creates a popping sensation. For a long time, it was claimed that drinking the two together would cause one's stomach to explode; this was finally put to rest as some people (the Mythbusters in particular) started actually trying it, and discovered that it's merely painful, not lethal.
:Here, it's combined with elements of other common scary urban legends (phones ringing and creepy laughter) to form something bizarre.

*After ''{{w|Brown v. Board of Education}}'' ruled that schools could not segregate based on race, nine African American students from Little Rock, Arkansas enrolled in the previously-segregated Little Rock Central High School. The school board could not officially deny them attendance, but members of the community (and, after Arkansas governor Orval Faubus intervened, the Arkansas National Guard) formed a blockade to physically prevent them from entering the school building. The governor claimed this was within his power even after ''Brown v. Board'', because the students were enrolled without issue, they were just physically blocked from entering the school building. After determining that the right to enroll in a school does, implicitly, include the right to actually attend classes there, president Eisenhower ordered the 101st Airborne Division to accompany the students and force the National Guard to stand down, thus integrating the school. This incident became known as the {{w|Little Rock Nine}}.
:However, {{w|Integral|integration}} also has a meaning in mathematics. This is indicated in the comic with the soldiers lifting up a giant integral sign to place beside the school, in order to (mathematically) integrate it. Normally, an integral only makes sense on functions; however, since this is the Little Rock ''Nine'', if we take the integral of the constant function ''f''(''x'') = 9, we do, in fact, get 9''x'' + ''C'', as stated in the title text.

*Cell phones with advanced computing capabilities, typically at least requiring fully-featured Internet browsing, multimedia capabilities, and the ability to run software applications, are called "smartphones." Most cell phones also have a "vibrate" function that allows someone in a public situation to receive calls without alerting others; the phone will discreetly vibrate rather than activate a ringtone, thus privately notifying the owner that a call is incoming. A semi-common problem with this feature is that a vibrating phone on a table that has a slight slope will slowly - or, if the slope is bad enough, rather quickly - slide down the slope, possibly falling off the table and breaking. If our smartphones ever decided to kill us, this would possibly be their only method of attack.
**Randall later covered this in his [[what if?]] blog. [http://what-if.xkcd.com/5/]

*The Three Little Pigs is a children's fairy tale about three pigs who build their houses out of, respectively, straw, sticks, and bricks. A wolf comes along and eats the pigs living in the straw and stick houses, but he can't knock down the brick house, because his only method for breaking them down is to blow on them until the material falls to pieces.
:The 119 Little Pigs seems to be a variant where the pigs build their houses out of the 119 {{w|chemical elements}}. The 38th little pig builds his house out of {{w|strontium}}, which is, of course, the 38th element on the Periodic Table. One wonders what happened to the pigs who are stuck making their houses out of elements that are gaseous or liquid at room temperature, or those whose houses would react with the air and/or undergo nuclear decay.
:Although given the water content in exhaled breath, it's {{w|Alkali metal#Reaction with water (alkali metal hydroxides)|easy to see}} how the wolf would huff, puff, and blow down the houses made of {{w|lithium}}, {{w|sodium}}, {{w|potassium}}, {{w|rubidium}}, {{w|caesium}}, and {{w|francium}}. Though making a houses out of {{w|hydrogen}}, {{w|helium}}, {{w|nitrogen}}, {{w|oxygen}}, {{w|fluorine}}, {{w|neon}}, {{w|chlorine}} and {{w|krypton}} would all be very difficult as they are gases at room temperature. Also, there would be issues such as death from the toxicity of the elements, e.g. fluorine would kill the pig and wolf. The piggies may have difficulty collecting enough metal, as they would have trouble collecting enough {{w|technetium}} (43), which only occurs in minute traces, and {{w|astatine}}, of which approximately 1 ounce exists on earth.

*"Fastest gun in the West" is a boast commonly made in Western movies, where it is used to mean that a person is the fastest at drawing his gun in a duel (or, alternatively, can fire his gun the fastest). It doesn't actually describe the gun itself, and certainly doesn't describe how fast the gun can gallop across the land.

*"It's what separates the ''men'' from the ''boys''" is a phrase used to describe "macho" activities that, apparently, only "real men" will participate/do well in; all the other men haven't grown up yet, and are thus "boys." {{w|Centrifuge}}s are used to rapidly separate a material from the liquid it's suspended in; this is either a pun on the word "separate", or an attempt by Randall to make the occupation of lab technician seem macho.
**In the film {{W|Moonraker_(film)|Moonraker}} {{W|James Bond}} was almost killed in a centrifuge used as a g-force training vehicle for pilots/astronauts - but he survived - and he for sure is a real man... See also [[123: Centrifugal Force]].

*Narnia is the mythical land in ''{{w|The Chronicles of Narnia}}''. In the books, time passes differently in Narnia, such that one can spend many years in Narnia and come out to find that almost no time at all has passed on Earth; conversely, during a short trip back to Earth, hundreds of years could pass in Narnia. {{w|Lucy Pevensie|Lucy}} is taking advantage of this by putting a computer in Narnia to perform extremely fast computation. {{w|Folding@home}} and {{w|SETI@home}} are distributed computing projects that aim to solve extremely large computational problems by pooling together computer resources of thousands of home computers who volunteer for the project; Folding@home looks at how proteins are folded, which has applications in medical science, and SETI@home analyzes EM waves from space, looking for signs extraterrestrial intelligent life amongst the cosmic background noise. Running through all of that data in a few hours would be quite an accomplishment indeed, given that, as Peter points out, the idea has many problems Lucy has evidently overcome:
**The book was written in 1957 and it occurs even earlier than that, long predating personal computers, so Lucy shouldn't even have one.
**Even if it occurs in an alternate universe where the PC was invented before 1957, the storage that would be needed to store the entire Folding@home and SETI@home databases would be far beyond her means, since the characters in the book are evacuees who don't have any money.
**Even if she somehow pulled that much storage space together, the time needed for one computer to run through those databases is on the order of millennia. A computer would not continuously run for that long without careful treatment, which Narnia is not equipped for.
**Even if we handwave around that issue (''"Aslan, use your power to keep all dust away from this computer for the next ten thousand years, please"''), the wall socket powering the computer is on the Earth side. Mains power outlets in the UK provide alternating current with an amplitude of 230 volts and a frequency of 50 hertz. The 50 Hz part is what's important here: all devices designed to work with UK mains power expect a 50 Hz sine wave. The time difference between Earth and Narnia would substantially elongate the sine wave in a method similar to the Doppler effect, which would probably prevent the computer from functioning at all, though ignoring this, the electricity costs would be too high.
**The time differential doesn't occur while people are entering/exiting Narnia (though they do occur while the wardrobe's open) or the Pevensie children would have had had some difficulty surviving the transition. Since the cables of the computer are crossing between the worlds, it seems unlikely that the time differential is even active yet.
:See also: [[1786: Trash]]

*''{{w|The Honeymooners}}'' is a classic American sitcom. The show stars Ralph and Alice Kramden, and Ralph frequently makes empty threats of the form "One of these days, Alice...," followed by a combination of onomatopoeia. For example: "One of these days, Alice... BANG! ZOOM! Straight to the moon!" (Alice inevitably replies "Ahhh, shut up.")
:Here, Randall takes the pattern to a ridiculous and not-at-all threatening place.

==Transcript==
:Because of a family illness, instead of regular comics, this week I'll be sharing some strips that I drew as part of a game I played with friends. Each comic had to be written and drawn in five minutes.

:--Randall

:;Comic #1
:Pearl Harbor. November 7th, 1941.
:[There is a beach, with some ships floating in a crescent shaped harbor.]

:[The same bay, again.]

:[The boats continue to move about the harbor.]

:[The boats do their thing. A title explains.]
:(We're going to be here a while, since the attack wasn't until December.)

:;Comic #2
:[Cueball is sitting on a bus, Megan in front of him.]
:I know it's natural and all, but I really wish women on the bus wouldn't try to breastfeed me.
:Woman: C'mon, have some milk. Right here.
:Me: I'm ''reading''.

:;Comic #3
:s/I think that/I saw a study once that said that/g
:Instant persuasiveness multiplier!

:;Comic #4
:[A newspaper front page. Billy Joel is between two policemen.]
:Times
:Billy Joel Arrested for Arson

:;Comic #5
:[One person has a cord leaving their mouth, the other is holding a handset on the end of it to their ear.]
:Handset: Hee hee hee... *giggle*
:I hear that if you drink coke and eat pop rocks, you vomit up a corded telephone handset on which you hear creepy little girls giggling.

:;Comic #6
:[Three soldiers are holding a large integral sign, while a fourth points a gun at the Little Rock High School.]
:1957: Eisenhower orders the military to integrate Little Rock High School.

:;Comic #7
:[A smartphone is vibrating across a table, towards a person.]
:The smartphones got ''too'' smart... and developed a taste... for BLOOD!
:Fortunately, the only way they could move was by turning on their vibrate while on a sloped table.

:;Comic #8
:[Cueball is reading to his child.]
:Cueball: And the wolf went to see the 38th little pig, who had built his house out of strontium.
:Cueball: And the wolf was all, "Ok, what is ''with'' this shit?"
:The 119 Little Pigs

:;Comic #9
:[Cueball is holding up a gun.]
:Cueball: Fastest gun in the west!

:[The gun is galloping across the desert.]
:''gallop gallop''

:[There is a podium, with a gun in each position.]
:Winner!

:;Comic #10
:[A picture of a centrifuge dominates the panel.]
:Centrifuges: They're what separate the men from the boys.

:;Comic #11
:[A computer monitor is plugged in, and cables run into a wardrobe.]
:Lucy: Time passes differently in Narnia, so by putting the CPU and storage for my machine there, I was able to run through the Folding@Home and Seti@Home databases in about an hour.
:Peter: There are so many problems with that.

:;Comic #12
:[Someone is talking to Alice.]
:Person: One of these days, Alice... Wham, zoom, sploosh, fwoom, splash, gurlle, wheeeee, fwoosh, aren't waterslides fun?!

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Five-minute comics| 03]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Five-minute comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Substitutions]]