explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

739: Malamanteau

2020-12-05T10:31:14Z

172.68.65.192: Replaced content with "Offriamo i servizi SEO più efficaci per diversi tipi vittoria risorse web. Puoi selezionare tra i nostri piani standard o richiedere un SEO personalizzato che sarà adatt..."

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1777: Dear Diary

2020-09-07T18:38:55Z

172.68.65.192: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1777
| date = December 26, 2016
| title = Dear Diary
| image = dear_diary.png
| titletext = Dear Diary: UNSUBSCRIBE
}}

==Explanation==

[[Black Hat]] is writing in a diary (probably his, but possibly not; see below). His entry starts with the common idiom "Dear diary". In a regular diary entry, this opening is used to give the impression of writing to a trusted friend, the diary being anthropomorphized to take that friend's role. However, where other people would write about their day or put their feelings into words, Black Hat's diary entry consists of a standard phishing scam attempting to request some private information in exchange for a large cash amount which does not exist. In this case, the scam is the infamous [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/nigerian-scams Nigerian Royalty scam], where the 'royalty' needs bank details to give money, when it will in fact be taken. [[Black Hat]] apparently is so used to tricking people that even his own anthropomorphized diary is not safe from his pranks. Alternatively, the entry is intended for anyone who looks at his diary without his permission. It's also possible he has obtained someone else's diary and is somehow trying to scam the diary's owner, although it's not clear how that might work. Or, since it is a rather obvious scam, he may simply being trying to scare the diary's owner, perhaps the same child as he traumatized in [[1776|the previous comic]] with a reindeer mutated to look like a spider.

This comic creates a stark contrast by putting together elements that seem similar, but do not belong together, for comedic effect.
* Combining old-school hand written media (a diary) and memes from the electronic age (a phishing attempt as usually found in spam mail).
* Contrasting the very personal, intimate atmosphere of "Dear diary" with something that is normally automatically replicated to millions of mail addresses.
* Opening up with a sentence that might come from a real personal diary (many people will fantasize about being rich or famous in their diaries), and following up with something that nobody would expect from a personal diary.

It is possible that the diary is actually the journal from the [[:Category:Journal|Journal]] series, and that ever since being outdone by [[Danish]], he no longer uses it for recording all the things he would say if he were nice.

The title text is similar to [[1675: Message in a Bottle]], which also uses the word "unsubscribe" in an unusual way. The title text also mimics a standard way to get off some mailing lists, so perhaps it's [[Randall]]'s diary that Black Hat is molesting, and therefore the title-text is Randall expressing a desire to be disassociated from it.

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat is seated at a table, writing with a pencil in a diary.]

:Writing: Dear Diary,
:Writing: Hello. I am the Crown Prince of Nigeria. I have recently come into a large fortune, but...

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]

Talk:2291: New Sports System

2020-04-10T14:52:34Z

172.68.65.192:

Note that the title text goes at the end of the explanation, not within the transcript section. I've removed it twice now. [[User:Ianrbibtitlht|Ianrbibtitlht]] ([[User talk:Ianrbibtitlht|talk]]) 00:41, 9 April 2020 (UTC)

I really want to see this happen now :D [[Special:Contributions/172.68.174.128|172.68.174.128]] 01:18, 9 April 2020 (UTC)
:Alright, who programs the VR software and who organises the tournament? :D [[User:Fabian42|Fabian42]] ([[User talk:Fabian42|talk]]) 03:17, 9 April 2020 (UTC)

I find myself wondering how easy it would be to merge the video feeds from the different players, so viewers can see everyone as if it were a traditional match. If each arena has a camera in the same place, it shouldn't be that hard to isolate parts of the image which are different from a static image; but I'm not sure what would be the best method for determining which player is in front when they overlap. I guess you need some method of tracking the players' positions in any case, to work out who's touching the ball. Would the technology used for home VR be easily adaptable to a full size stadium? - [[User:Angel|Angel]] ([[User talk:Angel|talk]]) 10:50, 9 April 2020 (UTC)

Another way to do it: Each player has their own ball. But only one of the balls is "live" at any given time. Maybe it lights up or something. If another ball contacts the live one, it changes places, allowing you to effectively "tackle" the player who's in possession. Would mean that ball physics are more realistic, while still maintaining the confusion. Maybe also give the players little shock collars to let them know if they collided with another player. (Is running through another player a foul in basketball?) - [[User:Angel|Angel]] ([[User talk:Angel|talk]]) 10:55, 9 April 2020 (UTC)

:And that's just got me thinking that [[wikipedia:BASEketball|BASEketball]] would be entirely playable in this form - [[User:Angel|Angel]] ([[User talk:Angel|talk]]) 11:13, 9 April 2020 (UTC)

This reminds me very much of the chess variant [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kriegspiel_(chess) Kriegspiel]. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.154.73|162.158.154.73]] 10:55, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
: You beat me that >< much...I hate you so much that I corrected your typo :-) [[Special:Contributions/172.68.65.192|172.68.65.192]] 14:52, 10 April 2020 (UTC)

2088: Schwarzschild's Cat

2018-12-21T18:18:22Z

172.68.65.192: /* Explanation */ replaced ‘reach’ with ‘approach’. cats cannot reach infinity, but a sufficiently small cat will approach it.

{{comic
| number = 2088
| date = December 21, 2018
| title = Schwarzschild's Cat
| image = schwarzschilds_cat.png
| titletext = Cats can be smaller than the critical limit, but they're unobservable. If one shrinks enough that it crosses the limit, it just appears to get cuter and cuter as it slowly fades from view.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a SMALL CAT WITH NO CONCEPT OF FIELD EQUATIONS. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This comic is primarily a wordplay joke about the {{w|Schwarzschild radius}}, or the radius surrounding a black hole corresponding to the {{w|event horizon}}. The event horizon, in turn, is the limit from which nothing can leave a black hole. The joke is that, apparently, smaller cats are cuter, and there is a limit below which a sufficiently small cat (but larger than zero) will approach infinite cuteness.

It's also a reference to the {{w|Schrodinger's cat}} thought-experiment, since the name "Schrodinger" is easily confused with "Schwarzschild" and both men were interested in quantum physics.

The title text makes multiple allusions. First, it alludes to what happens when an object falls into a black hole. From an outside observer's point of view, such objects appear to slow down and take an infinite amount of time to cross the Schwarzschild radius due to the time dilation of {{w|General relativity}}. The object's photons will become increasingly red-shifted, fading as they lose energy to the black hole's gravity well. Second, it's a play on the {{w|Cheshire Cat}} from Alice in Wonderland, which slowly fades from view until only its grin remains.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[A graph is shown. The x-axis is labeled "Cat size" and the y-axis, "Cat cuteness". Graphed is a function coming down from infinity then beginning to level off and not reaching zero on-screen. At the top end of the function is the text "Schwarzschild's Cat" and an arrow to indicate it. In line with the top end of the function is a vertical dashed line. Under the function is the text "Critical limit" and arrows indicating the space between the y-axis and dashed line.]
{{comic discussion}}

2083: Laptop Issues

2018-12-10T17:18:23Z

172.68.65.192: Added some part of the alt-text explaination.

{{comic
| number = 2083
| date = December 10, 2018
| title = Laptop Issues
| image = laptop_issues.png
| titletext = Hang on, we got a call from the feds. They say we can do whatever with him, but the EPA doesn't want that laptop in the ocean. They're sending a team.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Edited by a beleaguered tech support user. Horribly incomplete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

[[Cueball]] goes to tech support with his laptop. [[Hairy]] and [[Ponytail]] are waiting behind the counter; one has dealt with [[Category:Cueball Computer Problems|Cueball's bizarre tech issues]] before, and warns the other. Sure enough, Cueball sets the computer down and offers a detailed list of the arcane problems his computer is giving him.

{|class="wikitable"
| ''My laptop's battery won't hold a charge.''
| A common problem; as batteries are frequently charged and recharged, their capacity for storing charge deteriorates. However...
|-
| ''Tried [replacing the battery]. Now the new ones won't either.''
| ...the problem persisting despite the battery's replacement fails to make any significant sense. It my be a problem with his laptop's charging port, but his comment that the "new ones" now fail to hold a charge seems to imply it is persisting despite the replacement batteries being used elsewhere after attempting to use them for his laptop and failing..
|-
| ''Also, random files get corrupted on the first of every month. Factory reset didn't help either.''
| Some devices may be scheduled to do a "disk cleanup" on the first of every month. Somehow, this task is corrupting files that should be kept.
|-
| ''When it's plugged in, I get static from my plumbing.''
| Static charge from a portable device while it's charging is common. Static charge from ''elsewhere in the building'' while the portable device is charging... not so much.
|-
| ''And it reboots if someone uses an arc welder nearby''
| Setting aside the question of why Cueball is using his laptop around an arc welder (although he doesn't specify what qualifies as "nearby"), the high power draw of an arc welder will occasionally cause less devoted power supplies to flicker. For some reason, this is causing his laptop to reboot instead.
|-
| ''Transition(R) lenses go dark when exposed to the screen''
| Transition lenses in prescription glasses darken when exposed directly to UV rays; this is to avoid the wearer any hassle of needing prescription sunglasses. This seems to indicate that the screen of Cueball's laptop is emitting UV radiation.
|-
| ''and when I open too many tabs, it fogs any nearby photographic film.''
| The screen would have to emitting X-rays that can pass through the film's container and expose the film. This may be a reference to the scifi book series The Three Body Problem, where one character finds that all of his pictures become blurred, no matter how they were taken.
|}

The sheer incongruity of everything Cueball has reported, in combination with past issues, leads Hairy to report that his manager has authorized Cueball and his laptop be thrown into the ocean so that their plague upon the earth may no longer spread. Cueball, having surrendered to his inability to use technology, accepts this without objection.

The alt-text contains mention of the Environmental Protection Agency, (EPA) a part of the United States government responsible for preventing pollution. In this case, another part of the joke is that the laptop is considered toxic waste, and therefore the EPA, as part of their mission, is sending a hazmat team to collect the laptop and safely dispose of it.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Cueball is walking past a sign reading "Tech Support," with a right-pointing arrow and carrying a laptop.]
:Off panel voice #1: Oh, No.
:Off panel voice #2: What?
:Off panel voice #1: This guy. He has the worst tech problems.

:[Cueball at tech support desk with closed laptop on desk. Short-hair guy and Ponytail are there.]
:Cueball: My laptop's battery won't hold a charge.
:Short-hair guy: We can replace it.
:Cueball: Tried that. Now the new ones won't either.

:[Close-up of Cueball]
:Cueball: Also, random files get corrupted on the first day of every month. Factory reset didn't help.
:Off panel voice #2: You weren't kidding.

:[Close-up of Cueball]
:Cueball: When it's plugged in, I get static shocks from my plumbing.
:Off panel voice: What the...
:Cueball: And it reboots if someone uses an arc welder nearby.

:[Same tableau as second panel except that the laptop is slightly open now.]
:Cueball: Transitions® lenses go dark when exposed to the screen, and when I open too many tabs, it fogs nearby photographic film.
:Short-hair guy: We don't usually do this, but I've gotten permission from my manager to have you and the laptop hurled into the ocean.
:Cueball: That's probably for the best.

{{comic discussion}}

1138: Heatmap

2018-12-04T01:19:12Z

172.68.65.192: /* Explanation */ /this times on/this time on/

{{comic
| number = 1138
| date = November 23, 2012
| title = Heatmap
| image = heatmap.png
| titletext = There are also a lot of global versions of this map showing traffic to English-language websites which are indistinguishable from maps of the location of internet users who are native English speakers.
}}

==Explanation==
Another of [[Randall|Randall's]] many [[:Category:Pet Peeves|Pet Peeves]], this time on [[:Category:Maps|maps]]. This one has also been numbered #208, like the first comic on the subject [[238: Pet Peeve 114|238: Pet Peeve #114]].

In the comic, [[Cueball]] compares three heatmaps, showing the location of "our site's users," "subscribers to ''{{w|Martha Stewart Living}}''" and "consumers of furry pornography." The three maps are nearly identical, leading [[Cueball]] to come to the conclusion that his site's userbase largely consists of fans of Martha Stewart and {{w|furry fandom|furry}} porn, and that the audience (presumably the owners/operators of the website) should adjust their content or advertising to cater to these demographics. However, Cueball's analysis is faulty; the actual reason the maps are the same is they all match the population concentration in the U.S., not because there is any statistically-significant relation between geographic location and any of the mentioned sub-populations.

A heatmap (the term having been coined and [http://www.trademarkia.com/heatmaps-75263259.html trademarked] by {{w|Cormac Kinney}}) is a graph showing three-dimensional data on a two-dimensional image, with each pixel's colour representing the value of the data at that position. It does not necessarily have anything to do with heat, but a heatmap may resemble a thermal image. In this comic, red represents the highest numerical values, then yellow and green, with white the lowest values, in all three maps.

The title text reflects a similar situation in world maps where the website written in English is read by English-speaking users no matter the location, because their ISP and search providers direct them primarily to English websites, so the visitors' geographic graph matches the graph of the global English-speaking population.

==Transcript==
:[Three near-identical charts of the 48 contiguous United States are shown with heatmaps depicting population density. The first chart is labelled "Our site's users," the second chart is labelled "Subscribers to ''Martha Stewart Living''," and the third chart is labelled "Consumers of furry pornography." Cueball is standing with a stick pointing at the charts.]
:Cueball: The business implications are clear.
:Pet peeve #208:
:Geographic profile maps which are basically just population maps

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Pet Peeves]]
[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Statistics]]
[[Category:Furries]]

Talk:702: Snow Tracking

2018-12-03T23:27:44Z

172.68.65.192:

The title-text could also be a reference to Bugs Bunny, many episodes had such play-on-words as title.
("A witch's tangled hare", "A Feather in his Hare", "Compressed Hare", many more...) {{unsigned|‎Gegueure}}

It could be mentioned that the Higgs signature shown is probably a Higgs->top anti-top/bottom anti-bottom->jet-jet signature, and most certainly not the clearest observed channel right now of Higgs->gamma gamma (as there is no neutral signature, which would be a track appearing some from the center, and there are clearly two jets to be seen). This is a difficult channel to observe, and is much more important in higher Higgs mass regions than the now observed, where b-bbar is present, but gamma gamma is much easyer to observe.[[Special:Contributions/85.164.251.29|85.164.251.29]] 13:11, 24 August 2013 (UTC)

Velociraptors are suspiciously missing from this comic... [[User:SuperSupermario24|<span style="color: #c21aff;">Just some random derp</span>]] 19:18, 27 June 2015 (UTC)

I first thought of the Beverly Cleary mouse books too, but Ralph S. Mouse rode a motorcycle, not a bicycle. {{unsigned ip|162.158.74.106}}
: Could it be a reference to Biker Mice From Mars? --[[Special:Contributions/141.101.105.31|141.101.105.31]] 08:05, 9 December 2016 (UTC)

I don't understand the knight tracks. They appear to move the same distance forward as they do to the side. Knights can't move like that.

The Higgs Boson frame is significantly different from all the others because it represents an image from a cloud chamber not tracks in snow. [[User:Brenda|Brenda]] ([[User talk:Brenda|talk]]) 09:15, 16 June 2018 (UTC)

Which was is the bicycle going? There is a way to figure it out. Someone help 23:27, 3 December 2018 (UTC)

2076: Horror Movies 2

2018-11-23T18:23:49Z

172.68.65.192: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2076
| date = November 23, 2018
| title = Horror Movies 2
| image = horror_movies_2.png
| titletext = When I was a kid, someone told me the end of The Giver was ambiguous, which surprised me. I had just assumed Jonah died--because the book had a medal on the cover, and I knew grown-ups liked stories where sad stuff happens at the end for no reason.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is a follow-up to [[2056: Horror Movies]] released a month earlier.

White Hat and Cueball discuss the appeal of horror movies and tragic plots. Cueball expresses his dissatisfaction with stories that don't focus on evoking positive feelings. As an example he mentions how he disliked the ending of ''{{w|Titanic (1997 film)|Titanic}}'' where Jack sacrifices his life in order to save Rose. White Hat does not seem to share Cueball's point of view on successful storytelling and sarcastically promises to send feedback to the movie director {{w|James Cameron}} as well as the 16th century playwright {{w|William Shakespeare}}.

In the title text Cueball (Randall?) discusses the ending of the science fiction novel {{w|The Giver}} where the fate of the main character Jonas [sic, see Trivia] had been left ambiguous.

==Trivia==
In the original (current) title-text, there is a typo where the protagonist of ''The Giver'' is referred to as "Jonah" instead of "Jonas."

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[White Hat and Cueball are walking.]
:White Hat: So you don't like '''''any''''' horror movies?
:Cueball: Spooky stuff is neat but I hate jump scares and watching people get murdered.
:Cueball: Why would you '''''want''''' to see that?

:White Hat: It's like roller coasters. People like experiencing powerful feelings in a safe, controlled setting.
:Cueball: But why not '''''good''''' feelings?

:White Hat: We've always been into tragic stories. Romeo and Juliet, Titanic...
:Cueball: See, that's another thing I don't get!

:Cueball: I loved ''Titanic'' because Rose and Jack found each other and seemed so happy! I just hated the ending.
:White Hat: I'll be sure to give James Cameron and Shakespeare your feedback.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

1957: 2018 CVE List

2018-02-19T18:02:22Z

172.68.65.192: The last CVE isn't in a public comment box, so it's not a joke about the 4th CVE, but rather self-contained.

{{comic
| number = 1957
| date = February 19, 2018
| title = 2018 CVE List
| image = 2018_cve_list.png
| titletext = CVE-2018-?????: It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischevious kids in a trenchcoat.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by HACKING THIS WIKI VIA THE EDIT BOX - The explanation looks like a list. Explain the comic and put the security vulnerabilities in a table. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{w|Common Vulnerabilities and Exposures|CVE}} (Common Vulnerabilities and Exposures) is a standardized format for assigning an identity to a cybersecurity vulnerability (similar to the way that astronomical bodies are assigned unique identifiers by committees). Giving vulnerabilities a unique identifier makes them easier to talk about and helps in keeping track of the progress made toward resolving them. The typical format of a CVE identifier is '''CVE-[YEAR]-[NUMBER]'''. For example, the CVE identifier for 2017's widespread {{w|Meltdown (security vulnerability|Meltdown vulnerability}} is [https://cve.mitre.org/cgi-bin/cvename.cgi?name=CVE-2017-5754 CVE-2017-5754]. CVEs also contain a short description of the issue.

In this comic (released in February 2018), Randall presents a number of spurious predicted CVEs for later in 2018. Each CVE identifier is given as "CVE-2018-?????", reflecting the fact that they have not yet happened so we don't know exactly what their CVE identifier will be.

{|class="wikitable"
! style="width: 30%;" | Security Vulnerability
! style="width: 70%;" | Notes
|-
|Apple products crash when displaying certain Telugu or Bengali letter combinations.
|This refers to a real vulnerability in iOS and MacOS publicized a few days before the comic released <ref>https://techcrunch.com/2018/02/15/iphone-text-bomb-ios-mac-crash-apple/</ref>, as well as past similar iOS vulnerabilities<ref>https://thenextweb.com/apps/2017/01/18/iphone-ipad-apple-text-ios-bug/</ref><ref>http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/2018/01/18/apple-text-bomb-can-crash-iphones-single-message/</ref>.
|-
|An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit [''sic''] a race condition in garbage collection to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon.
|Timing Attack to exploit a race condition in garbage collection refers to Meltdown and Spectre CPU flaws that can be exploited in cloud server like the ones in Wikipedia. {{w|Claude Shannon}} was an early and highly influential information scientist whose work underlies compression, encryption, security, and the theory behind how information is encoded into binary digits - hence the pertinence of extracting just some of the bits from his Wikipedia entry.
|-
|At the cafe on Third Street, the Post-it note with the WiFi password is visible from the sidewalk.
|Writing passwords in a visible place is a major security flaw. For instance, following the [[wikipedia:2018 Hawaii false missile alert|2018 Hawaii false missile alert]] the agency received criticism for a press photo showing a password written on a sticky note attached to a monitor.<ref>http://uk.businessinsider.com/hawaii-emergency-agency-password-discovered-in-photo-sparks-security-criticism-2018-1?r=US&IR=T</ref> However, if a cafe posts their wifi password for customers, this suggests that it's ''supposed'' to be public knowledge. However, being visible from outside would allow people to use the wifi without ever entering the building or purchasing anything.
|-
|A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box.
|Describes a common feature on news sites or social media sites like Facebook. The possibility for users to "inject" text into the page is by design. This is a humorous reference to the relatively common security vulnerability "[[Wikipedia:Cross-site_scripting|persistent cross-site scripting]]", where input provided by the user is displayed to other users in a dangerous fashion that allows attackers to inject arbitrary HTML or Javascript code into e.g. a comment section. It might also be a humorous reference to the events before, during and after the 2016 US Presidential elections where Internet Research Agency employees based remotely in St. Petersburg, Russia, but disguised as US citizens, "injected" arbitrary text in the form of political propaganda into comments on multiple web sites, according to an indictment returned by a federal grand jury on February 16, 2018.
|-
|MySQL server 5.5.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel."
|Some people pronounce "{{w|SQL}}" like "sequel", after SQL's predecessor "SEQUEL (Structured English Query Language)". The standard for SQL suggests that it should be pronounced as separate letters; however, the author of SQL pronounces it "sequel", so the debate is persisting (with even more justification than arguments about how to pronounce "GIF"). MySQL is an open-source relational database management system, the latest GA version (at the time of writing) is MySQL 5.7.
|-
|A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges.
|{{w|Privilege escalation}} refers to any illegitimate means of giving a system user greater privilege than they are supposed to have, and most hackers will seek to achieve this if they can. The most highly-sought privilege is that of the root user, which allows complete access to an entire system.

This CVE, however, presents the reverse situation; that a flaw can allow a root user to ''de-escalate'', the exact opposite of what a hacker would want to achieve.{{Citation needed}} (In any case, the root user can always de-escalate manually if they so choose, as they have complete control).
|-
|Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics.
|Diacritics are the accents found on letters in some languages (eg. č, ģ ķ, ļ, ņ, š, ž). These would not be found on emojis. It is also a reference to a common problem of modern gadgets catching fire (usually related to flaws in Lithium-Ion batteries).
|-
|An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team.
|This likely refers to the movie {{w|Air Bud}}. It is a movie about a dog playing basketball. This has been a common theme in xkcd comics, see [[115: Meerkat]], [[1439: Rack Unit]], [[1819: Sweet 16]], [[1552: Rulebook]]
|-
|Haskell isn't side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one. computer [''sic''] in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while.
|{{w|Haskell}} is a functional programming language, functional programming is characterized by using functions that don't have side effects in other parts of the program. The joke here is discovering that indeed it does have side-effects, but for some unknown (and highly absurd) reason they only manifest on a specific computer in a nondescript location, but no one has noticed.
|-
|Nobody really knows how hypervisors work.
|[[wikipedia:Hypervisor|"Hypervisors"]] are a tool for computer virtualization. Virtualization is an extremely complex topic, as it requires a computer to completely emulate a different computer with its own unique hardware and software. Many IT professionals and businesses rely heavily on various forms of virtualization, but the individual employees would be hard-pressed to explain how it works. Meltdown and Specter are related to this.
|-
|Critical: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour.
|This joke is about arcane systems that are running Linux in exceedingly unique situations, such that reproducing the error would be incredibly difficult or inconvenient, and would only affect a very tiny user base (if any at all). Other xkcd comics make references to such obscure computer-time issues relating to time zones and time conversions, and how many programmers find these issues frustrating or even traumatizing. UTC+14 is a time zone used only on some islands in the Pacific Ocean, i.e., [[Wikipedia:Line_Islands|the Line Islands]], and is also the earliest time zone on earth. The joke continues by stating that even if all of these absurd conditions were met, the resulting vulnerability would still be relatively benign: simply changing a user's preferred clock display format.
|-
|x86 has way too many instructions.
|The x86 architecture is considered "CISC" (a "complex instruction set computer"), having many instructions originally provided to make programming by a human simpler; other examples include the 68000 series used in the first Apple Mac. In the 1980s, this design philosophy was countered by the "RISC" ("reduced instruction set computer") design movement exemplified by SPARC, MIPS, PowerPC (previously used by Apple) and the ARM chips common in mobile phones - based on the observation that computer programs were increasingly generated by compilers (which only used a few instructions) rather than directly by people, and that the chip area dedicated to extra instructions could be better dedicated to, for example, cache. At the time, there was an internet war about the merits of each approach (with the Mac and PC being on different sides, at one time; owners of other competing systems such as the Archimedes and Amiga had similar arguments on usenet in the early 1990s); this "issue" may be posted by someone who still recalls these debates. Technically, the extra instructions do slightly complicate the task of validating correct chip behaviour and complicate the tool chains that manage software, which could be seen as a minor security risk; however, the 64-bit architecture introduced by AMD and since adopted by Intel does rationalise things somewhat, and all recent x86 chips break down instructions into RISC-like micro-operations, so the complication from a hardware perspective is localised. Recent security issues such as the speculative cache load issue in Meltdown and Spectre depend more on details of implementation rather than instruction set, and have been exhibited both by x86 (CISC) and ARM (RISC) processors.
|-
|NumPy 1.8.0 can factor primes in ''O''(log ''n'') time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices.
|NumPy is the fundamental package for scientific computing with Python. If something can find the prime factors of a number this quickly, especially a [[wikipedia:semiprime|semiprime]] with two large factors, there are attacks to break many crypto functions used in internet security. However, prime numbers have only a single factor, and "factoring primes" quickly is a simpler problem, that of [[wikipedia:Primality test|proving that a number is in fact a prime]].
|-
|Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule.
|Another joke on the first CVE and a common English writing rule of thumb, which fails almost as often as it succeeds. Possibly a jab at Apple's image, portraying their software as unable to handle improper grammar or spelling.
|-
|Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers.
|Skylake x86 chips are a line of microprocessors made by Intel. Yes, you can forcefully remove any processor from its socket with a screwdriver.{{Citation needed}} There are many reports from people not using common sense.
|-
|Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily.
|{{w|Linus Torvalds}} is the benevolent dictator of the Linux kernel codebase. Normally it is hard to pass a change because he has the last word about what merge to the code base because that code is replicated in all Linux installations, but apparently he is easy to bribe, which would be a severe critical vulnerability to all Linux servers and machines.
|-
|An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.
|The point of an attack is to make someone else's machine perform actions against the owner's will. Anyone can make their own machine execute any code{{Citation needed}}, but this would usually not be described as an attack except in the case of a locked-down appliance, such as a video game console or pay TV decoder.
|-
|Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it.
|This could refer to a CVE vulnerability of JPG files where javascript embedded within the image file is executed by some application, only this time is in a printed photo instead of encoded into the image itself.
|-
|Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of Windows could allow Flash to be installed.
|Flash was discontinued because of its notoriously abysmal security record. All security experts advise against install. The joke here relates to the perceived difficulty with keeping Flash up to date or even installed properly to begin with. A common user experience which is the subject of numerous jokes and memes is the constant nagging notification to install or update Flash in order for web pages to display properly. While anecdotal, many IT professionals will bemoan the trouble that Flash has given them in the workplace due to these notifications and problems related to them.
|-
|Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers.
|This refers to a computer meme where replace "cloud" with "other people's computers" must be used in all marketing presentation to CEOs and not computer literate persons to evaluate the security impact of using "Cloud services". Part of the humor here is that "the cloud", in actuality, is simply a term for hosted services, i.e., computers being run by other people (typically businesses that specialize in this type of "Platform As A Service" or "PAAS" service model). Calling "the cloud" as "other people's computers" is, at its core, entirely accurate, though it takes away the business jargon and simplifies the situation in such a way that it might cast doubt on the security, reliability, and general effectiveness of using "cloud" solutions.
|-
|A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.[[285|[~~CLICK HERE FOR CHEAP VIAGRA~~]]]
|Mitre's CVE database is the database where all CVE are stored. Attackers, after gaining access to the database via this flaw, add in a typical spam link purporting to offer cheap viagra.
|-
|It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischevious kids in a trenchcoat.
|Appears in the title text. {{w|Bruce Schneier}} is security researcher and blogger. He was mentioned in the title texts of [[748: Worst-Case Scenario]] and [[1039: RuBisCO]]. The "two kids in a trenchcoat" is a reference to the Totem Pole Trench trope.<ref>[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TotemPoleTrench TV Tropes:Totem Pole Trench trope]</ref>
|}

== References ==
<references/>

==Transcript==
LEAKED LIST OF MAJOR 2018 SECURITY VULNERABILITIES

CVE-2018-????? Apple products crash when displaying certain Telugu or Bengali letter combinations.

CVE-2018-????? An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit a race condition in garbage collection to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon.

CVE-2018-????? At the cafe on Third Street, the Post-it note with the WiFi password is visible from the sidewalk.

CVE-2018-????? A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box.

CVE-2018-????? MySQL server 5.5.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel."

CVE-2018-????? A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics.

CVE-2018-????? An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team.

CUE-2018-????? Haskell isn't side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one. computer in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while.

CVE-2018-????? Nobody really knows how hypervisors work.

CVE-2018-????? Critical: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour.

CVE-2018-????? x86 has way too many instructions.

CVE-2018-????? NumPy 1.8.0 can factor primes in ''O''(log ''n'') time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule.

CVE-2018-????? Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers.

CVE-2018-????? Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily.

CVE-2018-????? An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it.

CVE-2018-????? Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of Windows could allow Flash to be installed.

CVE-2018-????? Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers.

CVE-2018-????? A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.<span style="color:blue">[~~CLICK HERE FOR CHEAP VIAGRA~~]</span>

{{comic discussion}}

1806: Borrow Your Laptop

2017-03-03T08:16:27Z

172.68.65.192: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1806
| date = March 3, 2017
| title = Borrow Your Laptop
| image = borrow_your_laptop.png
| titletext = If used with software that could keep up, a scroll wheel mapped to send a stream of 'undo' and 'redo' events could be kind of cool.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|First attempt at a full explanantion. More details about what is possible and what is reasonable could b needed (and speel check).}}
In this comic [[White Hat]] asks if he can borrow [[Cueball|Cueball's]] laptop to load something. Cueball has no problem with this, but before White Hat can use his laptop there is just a "short" list of very special configurations that he has to know.

In the caption it is revealed that Cueball represents [[Randall]] who claims that once he has used a computer for a while he has made so many of these special configurations that no one else will ever be able to (or wish to) use it again.

As many other computer users Randall likes to customize his PC. Of the three items in Cueball's list of customizations only one seems like a real and relevant settings. That is the first where he tells that hitting both shift keys simultaneously will change the keyboard back to QWERTY. The {{w|QWERTY}} keyboard is the standard in the US (and other places using roman letters). It has been a [[:Category:Dvorak|recurrent theme]] for Randall to refer to the {{w|Dvorak Simplified Keyboard|Dvorak}} keyboard layout, and although he doesn't say so, it seems safe to assume that this is the current setting. Supporters keeps claiming that typing speed is faster on a Dvorak keyboard although this has never been proven and is a reason Randall often makes jokes about it. (See more details [[:Category:Dvorak|here]]).

The next point on the list makes no sense as Cueball has changed his keyboard layout so caps lock acts as the control key and then he has moved capslock so that is activated when hitting spacebar, the largest and most used key on the keyboard. Thus it makes absolutely no sense, and what is worse he doesn't tell White Hat where he has hid the space bar, although it could of course be the ctrl keys, which would at least give him to spacebars to use on either side of the keyboard.

Finally he goes out on a limb with an impossible setting that has made his scroll wheel able to move through time instead of through "space" as in up and down on the screen. However, only when using two-finger scroll, often used on track pads for laptops as a gesture for scrolling. And it is clear that this was not the last important point, as Cueball's list ends with another point which is not included in the comic.

In the title text it is revealed that Cueball actually did not mean moving in real time, like time travel, but rather that the scroll wheel would act as an undo-redo button. In the title text Randall says that he would actually find such a feature cool, but that he doesn't think that the programs on his laptop could follow up if his scroll wheel was mapped to send a stream of undo/redo commands to them as he used it.

==Transcript==
:[White Hat walks toward Cueball's desk pointing at his laptop while looking back at Cueball standing behind him.]
:White Hat: Can I load it up on your laptop?
:Cueball: Sure!
:Cueball: Oh, just hit both shift keys to change over to QWERTY.
:Cueball: Caps lock is control. And spacebar is capslock.
:Cueball: And two-finger scroll moves through time instead of space.
:Cueball: And-

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Once I've used a computer for a while no one else will ever use it again.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Time]]