explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

Talk:1010: Etymology-Man

2020-04-02T17:39:13Z

172.68.90.100:

That water isn't coming in nearly fast enough to be a tidal wave. Probably just a flood. A really fast flood. '''[[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 13:15, 18 February 2013 (UTC)

: Maybe Etymology-Man talks really really fast. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.250.11|108.162.250.11]] 03:20, 15 February 2014 (UTC)

:: Maybe Etymology-Man also has the power to slow incoming danger by sheer force of knowledge [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.54|108.162.216.54]] 08:57, 27 September 2014 (UTC)

: We need Etymology-Man in this discussion section to describe the term "Flash flood."

;Minor characters

Shouldn't etymology man be in the list of minor characters? [[User:E^ipi|E^ipi]] ([[User talk:E^ipi|talk]]) 12:24, 20 December 2016 (UTC)

2259: Networking Problems

2020-01-26T03:42:43Z

172.68.90.100: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2259
| date = January 24, 2020
| title = Networking Problems
| image = networking_problems.png
| titletext = LOOK, THE LATENCY FALLS EVERY TIME YOU CLAP YOUR HANDS AND SAY YOU BELIEVE
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an ODD-NUMBERED PACKET CLAPPING ITS HANDS. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Computer problems are frequent and can be difficult to solve. Networking problems in particular can puzzle even seasoned people and sometimes seem to have arbitrary issues causing them. {{w|Network packet|Packets}} are units of data transfer used in computer networking, and one measure of network performance is ''lag'', the amount of time it takes for data to travel from one point to another (and perhaps back); saying a packet's transmission is 'laggy' means it is unacceptably slow.

Lag in packet transmission and other network performance measures can appear quite random. Just to start with, your ISP may be engaged in traffic shaping, which can do very weird things indeed to your packets (making the first megabyte of a transfer faster than any other, for example); now imagine that your ISP's ISP (usually known as an "Upstream Provider") is engaged in something similar, and you begin to see the scale of the problem. Wireless latency can relate to things as unexpected as where people are standing, what they are touching, and what the weather is.
Viruses and other system compromises, as well as legitimate features provided by hardware{{fact}}, may hide their network activity, radically confusing things. Becausee humans are wired to perceive patterns, they will {{w|Apophenia|find them even in random data}}, a fallacy that Cueball is (probably) suffering from here. He variously attributes the network behavior he sees to the packet number being even vs. odd, packet arrival time being before vs. after noon, and packet arrival day being today vs. yesterday (such a pattern would make sense if it were merely "every other packet" regardless of odd or evenness, but that still leaves the other "patterns" Cueball is seeing).

These non-existent patterns that Cueball is 'finding' are driving him mad, so much so that he says he believes in ghosts now. The statement of belief in ghosts may be a reference to the intermittent or fluctuating nature of the network issues being caused by mischievous spirits or malevolent poltergeists. Ghosts generally are not concerned with expressions of belief, but there are some religious traditions that include group clapping and chanting. Many works of fiction depict a future or alternate history where {{tvtropes|MachineWorship|machines are worshiped as gods or spirits}}, such as the Adeptus Mechanicus of ''{{w|Warhammer 40,000}}''. Some of this terminology can be found in present-day IT and other support personnel, including references to "{{w|Daemon (computing)|daemons}}" and "[http://catb.org/jargon/html/B/black-magic.html black magic]". Another possible reference Randall may be making is to the {{w|Ghost_in_the_machine|Ghost in the machine}}, a term describing AI.

The title text continues Cueball's maniacal attempts at self-assurance, which may be him alluding to J.M. Barrie's play ''{{w|Peter Pan}}'' by saying that latency falls every time you "CLAP YOUR HANDS AND SAY YOU BELIEVE" or possibly 1800s mystic spiritualism that continues some today. In the play, Peter Pan says "If you believe in fairies, wave your handkerchiefs and clap your hands." A more mundane explanation of the network behavior Cueball is experiencing might be that it is random but he's seeing a pattern anyway, or that there is a loose connection or trace and the vibration of clapping and speaking in the vicinity of the equipment in question closes the connection.

==Transcript==
:[A chart is shown with one horizontal line with 13 ticks (the first larger) and ending in an arrow. There are three labels along the line, at the start in the middle an towards the end before the arrow. Below are two clouds in gray with labels. The first cloud is long and it is getting thinner towards the right. It goes between the first and second label above the chart. The second blob is smaller and of equal thickness and it goes from the last label towards right. Above the chart is a heading and a subheading:]
:<big>Types of Computer Problems</big>
:By how much debugging them makes your brain stop working

:[The three labels above and the two in the clouds:]
:None
:Some
:A lot
:Normal problems
:Networking problems

:[Below the chart, only in the right part of the comic is a comic drawing. Cueball is kneeling before a rack of servers. One of the server blades is extended and connected by a cable to a laptop sitting on a box, which Cueball is using. Behind Cueball, there is a wireless router sitting on a stool, which is connected by a cable to another wireless router sitting on the floor, which is connected to another laptop. From behind him to the right an off-panel voice emanates from a starburst at the edge of the panel.]
:Cueball: '''''Before''''' noon, '''''odd'''''-numbered packets were laggy, but ''after'' noon, '''''even'''''-numbered ones are! It's the '''''opposite''''' of yesterday!
:Off-panel voice: Are you sure you're okay?
:Cueball: '''''I'm fine and I believe in ghosts now!'''''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Cueball Computer Problems]]

Talk:2231: The Time Before and After Land

2019-11-22T18:49:00Z

172.68.90.100:

I believe that the "bees" are paired with words like "for" in the chart to draw similarities to the word "before"? [[Special:Contributions/172.68.54.34|172.68.54.34]] 21:49, 20 November 2019 (UTC)
:They weren’t though. [[User:Netherin5|“That Guy from the Netherlands”]] ([[User talk:Netherin5|talk]]) 13:08, 21 November 2019 (UTC)
Agreed. Has been changed. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.132.155|172.68.132.155]] 21:59, 20 November 2019 (UTC)

While the chart begins with Big Bang on the left side, I bee-lieve it's a history of our solar system, not the universe. When Rocky Planets formed is not a single specific point in time across the entire universe, and we have no idea if bees or thyme even exist beyond our planet. [[User:Ianrbibtitlht|Ianrbibtitlht]] ([[User talk:Ianrbibtitlht|talk]]) 23:12, 20 November 2019 (UTC)
: Not quite. The Earth formed with the rest of the solar system. And since "Rocky planets form" is shown earlier, it's presumably refers to rocky planets in the ''universe'' -- in ''other'', older star systems, rather than our own. --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]])

As of this comment, this page is the first page to pop up when typing in the phrase "The Time for Beeland".
[[Special:Contributions/172.69.90.16|172.69.90.16]] 23:51, 20 November 2019 (UTC)

What's missing is [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdQY7BusJNU Time after Thyme] [[User:Capncanuck|Capncanuck]] ([[User talk:Capncanuck|talk]]) 00:45, 21 November 2019 (UTC)
:And big missed opportunity for "Four bees land on thyme" [[Special:Contributions/162.158.78.226|162.158.78.226]] 05:16, 21 November 2019 (UTC)
::Fortunately, we seem to have avoided "the land after bee's time". At least for now. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.90.76|172.68.90.76]] 23:03, 21 November 2019 (UTC)SiliconWolf

The Big Bang of course has two bees in it.
:…But those bees did not develop until long after homo sapien did, the written word, the latin alphabet, et al. Indeed, “The Big Bang”, is a rather more recent construct, although the event is pre-Plank time. [[User:Logics|Logics]] ([[User talk:Logics|talk]]) 17:22, 21 November 2019 (UTC)
:: Ty for missing and/or killing the joke... [[Special:Contributions/172.68.90.76|172.68.90.76]] 23:03, 21 November 2019 (UTC)SiliconWolf
::: Isn't that the point of this wiki? a joke explained is a bad joke. --[[User:Lupo|Lupo]] ([[User talk:Lupo|talk]]) 08:41, 22 November 2019 (UTC)
:::: Huh. I guess I didn't consider that we should explain our own jokes as well as Randall's. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.90.100|172.68.90.100]] 18:49, 22 November 2019 (UTC) SiliconWolf

I accidentally deleted the "incomplete explanation" tag after completing the transcript. Sorry about that, I'm new to wiki editing :( [[User:Duraludon|Duraludon]] ([[User talk:Duraludon|talk]]) 16:05, 21 November 2019 (UTC)
:Fixed, no worries. :) [[User:Hawthorn|Hawthorn]] ([[User talk:Hawthorn|talk]]) 16:56, 21 November 2019 (UTC)

Perhaps missing from the hovertext: The home of LEGO? ;) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.154.85|162.158.154.85]] 17:17, 21 November 2019 (UTC)

He left out the fecund topic of "Time of FurBees" [[User:Cellocgw|Cellocgw]] ([[User talk:Cellocgw|talk]]) 13:45, 22 November 2019 (UTC)

Any link to the horrible pun in https://xkcd.com/282/ ? It's at least another thyme pun

Talk:2212: Cell Phone Functions

2019-10-07T21:49:53Z

172.68.90.100:

I know of someone who DID build a taser into a phone... (but that's all it is now, was no space for the phone's electronics anymore) [[Special:Contributions/172.69.54.39|172.69.54.39]] 08:05, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
: Well, there are actual commercial taser phone cases available for purchase today - [https://youtu.be/XaJSYxit1qI here's one example]. Not necessarily a good idea and not legal everywhere, but it exists. --[[User:NeatNit|NeatNit]] ([[User talk:NeatNit|talk]]) 12:03, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

It seems a bit peculiar that one of the move "obvious" devices a cellphone can replace is missing: the watch. [[User:JohnHawkinson|JohnHawkinson]] ([[User talk:JohnHawkinson|talk]]) 08:18, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
: That's because no one sane would do that ;) Some may use a Smart Watch instead of a classic watch but except of the case when you were used to pocket watches anyways a replacement of a wacth by a phone would be a downgrade usability wise. /edit: That being said: My personal "Now" bar is at the first quarter (more or less at the web browser's bar end) [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 08:29, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

:: I realize it's unlikely you're being entirely serious here, but the same argument applies to almost all of the devices listed in this comic. So…no, that's not the reason for its omission. [[User:JohnHawkinson|JohnHawkinson]] ([[User talk:JohnHawkinson|talk]]) 08:33, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
::: Actually I was dead serious. Well except of the "no one sane" part. I don't want to offend anyone :) In the time you take your phone out of the pocket to check the time I've looked thrice at my wrist watch [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 08:54, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
:::: The time taken isn't awfully relevant, unless you're checking the time awfully frequently. For the number of times a day I need to check the time when I'm not at a computer or already looking at my phone, the convenience of a wristwatch could easily be outweighed by the inconvenience of taking it off and putting in on each day. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.178.69|162.158.178.69]] 09:34, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
::::: Assuming you'd put it off. ;) (Despite the emoticon I'm serious again. I only put my watch off to change the battery) And even if I would put it off it would be more likely I forgot my phone on my desk than forgetting to put the watch on. I'm wearing a wrist watch since I was 8 or 9. But granted, the time is not as relevant as the fact that you have to put a device from out of somewhere and push a button to activate the screen just to check time. But in the end it's just a matter of personal taste and habit, I guess. [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 10:02, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
::::::Yeah, whether it's as convenient or even as good is irrelevant: Cell phones are not as good at photos as a dedicated camera but they are used for that because they can do it without the need for a separate device, which is the point of this comic. Most people do not wear watches anymore & just use their phones instead. Watches really would belong on this list, except it might be more difficult to pin down a transitional point! Some of us stopped needing watches when we realized our Nokia 3390 had a clock in the corner. Other people may have whattimeisitrightnow dot com on their smartphone's home screen... [[User:ProphetZarquon|ProphetZarquon]] ([[User talk:ProphetZarquon|talk]]) 14:44, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
:::: A phone in the pocket is infinitely better for me than a watch because watches make the skin underneath the wristband itch from the continuous contact. (I have atopic dermatitis.) -- [[Special:Contributions/162.158.93.135|162.158.93.135]] 13:35, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
: there was a brief period between ubiquitous cell/mobile phone use and the advent of the smartwatch where experts predicted the demise of the watch other than as a piece of jewellery [[User:Boatster|Boatster]] ([[User talk:Boatster|talk]]) 08:46, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
: I always hated wearing a watch - I do sometimes use my phone for finding the time - but "Hey Google - what time is it?" works without taking it out of my pocket. The thing is though - watches were obsolete before the smartphone existed. When just about 100% of electronic devices have clock display - my cooker, microwave, toaster, car, TV, computer, etc, etc ALL tell me the time. Why would I need a watch? SmartWatches seem like a retrograde step. [[User:SteveBaker|SteveBaker]] ([[User talk:SteveBaker|talk]]) 13:17, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
:: Well, with a watch you always know, where to look, especially when not in your own home. So just looking at your own wrist is much faster, then scanning your enviroment for the nearest screen. --[[User:Lupo|Lupo]] ([[User talk:Lupo|talk]]) 13:29, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
::"Smart Watches" that don't do much without a smartphone to connect to seem especially backwards to me. A smart watch with cellular radio would be useful on its own. Side note: So _you're_ that one person who leaves voice activation on all the time!?! Setting the very real privacy & safety issues aside for a moment... Doesn't it trigger from random conversations on an almost daily basis? I don't even know anyone who was able to leave Siri or Alexa on touchless, much less Google. [[User:ProphetZarquon|ProphetZarquon]] ([[User talk:ProphetZarquon|talk]]) 15:21, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
:I agree, it seems to me that the majority of people who had a cell phone as a teenager never acquired the habit of wearing a watch. I happen to still wear a watch and I also have a separate device that I use instead of my cell phone to make phone calls when I am at home. It's called a "telephone". And it's a fact that very few people who had a cell phone as a teenager have one of these in their homes. [[User:Rtanenbaum|Rtanenbaum]] ([[User talk:Rtanenbaum|talk]]) 19:49, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

Try to translate "die eierlegende Wollmilchsau"
[[Special:Contributions/162.158.89.97|162.158.89.97]] 09:52, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
:Sounds a lot like a schmoo from _Lil Abner_ by Al Capp! I wonder if the egg-legend woolmillsow is where he got the idea? [[User:ProphetZarquon|ProphetZarquon]] ([[User talk:ProphetZarquon|talk]]) 15:21, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

There is a terrible movie - [[Wikipedia:Shorts: The Adventures of the Wishing Rock|Shorts: The Adventures of the Wishing Rock]] - where everyone has a device called The Black Box that can do all of that, as well as pretty much anything. Its function changes kind of like a Rubik's Cube. It's an obvious parody of smartphones, except that it came out right around the time they were getting popular so I'm not sure if smartphones are the true inspiration. I can't recommend that movie (really, it's awful) but this comic reminded me of it and I wanted to share. --[[User:NeatNit|NeatNit]] ([[User talk:NeatNit|talk]]) 10:11, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
:Also see the Guide 2.0 as depicted in the later _Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy_ novels. It would do anything its user asked, including removing all Earths from all timelines (which is what it was built for). There's an old SciFi story about a man with a hypnotic paisley tie who accidentally leaves behind a futuristic universal remote & the contemporary guy who finds it gets in trouble. Overall, the "one device that does everything" has been an idea for at least a hundred years; but I think it's not just dismissed as whimsy so easily these days. [[User:ProphetZarquon|ProphetZarquon]] ([[User talk:ProphetZarquon|talk]]) 15:21, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

Re: steering wheel, there was a James Bond movie (Pierce Brosnan era I think) where he could control a car from a phone (they were not yet called smartphones at the time). I wouldn't be surprised that the technology has already been implemented, even though I don't want to think of the legal consequences if this became mainstream: "Honestly officer, I wasn't LOOKING at my phone, I was DRIVING my car!"[[Special:Contributions/162.158.155.110|162.158.155.110]] 11:30, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
: sure it's *technically* possible: all you need is to pair the gyro/accelerometer of your phone with your car's servo steering. any vehicle with a parking assistant can be controlled that way (and security researchers have demonstrated that in impressive talks back in 2015: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OobLb1McxnI). [[User:Gir|-- //gir.st/]] ([[User talk:Gir|talk]]) 11:37, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
:It was in ''Tomorrow Never Dies'' (https://youtu.be/BxTvfVZjR_Q) with a 'slightly' non-standard phone (pre-smartphone) and a 'slightly' non-standard car... Hardly the most unbelievable feature, though. ;) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.158.235|162.158.158.235]] 16:06, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

I've written a first draft of the explanation and transcript, but I don't have time for anything else today. It turned out more high-flown than I intended, so feel free to reword as necessary. Also, because I'm sure it'll come up eventually, regarding the transcript: since Randall has not given any time scale, we should refrain from over-interpreting when something happened. For the joke to get through, knowing which elements happened in the past and which (might) happen in the future is enough. [[User:Gir|-- //gir.st/]] ([[User talk:Gir|talk]]) 11:33, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

Hmmm - so let's fact check this:
* My phone is indeed being used as a car key (I own a Tesla and my phone unlocks the car and lets me drive it), phone, camera, newspaper, credit card and flashlight - so short bars for all of these is good.
* As a TV remote, that could be true - but we're actually edging into a "post-phone" era on that one. I can (and occasionally do) use my phone to control the Roku - but it's easier to use voice commands through Google Home for that...although I suppose I could use the phone to run Google Home instead of the Google Mini in my living room...so 50/50 on being "post-phone" on this one.
* As a Web Browser, I could use the phone - but only rarely actually do that. Mostly I use my ChromeBook for that, and also the screen on my Tesla - the piddly little cellphone screen guarantees it won't take over that role for more than 10% of the time.
* He missed out "Text messaging" - but I'm using the phone less and less for that because having a decent keyboard is good - so the ChromeBook is stealing that capability.
* Steering wheel...well, the Tesla already steers itself about 80% of the time that I drive. I predict that the steering wheel will cease to exist (at least for me) before I use my phone for that...although it certainly is capable of it in theory...and I'm pretty sure Tesla demonstrated the car being used as a radio controlled toy from a phone a few years ago...although it never made it into production (mercifully!).
* You probably could use a phone as a bird feeder (for smaller birds - draping a dead rabbit over it to attract vultures might be a bad idea).
* All of the others are well into the future...so I agree with him on those.
[[User:SteveBaker|SteveBaker]] ([[User talk:SteveBaker|talk]]) 13:13, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

I feel like we could/should be reading this more literally. If we assume that Randall lives on the fairly early edge of technology, then the time from the left side of the chart to now is ~25 years. If we also assume that the time axis is linear, then we should be driving our cars with our phones in 7-8 years (though I can now drive my car through a parking lot at least using my phone, it's still doing the steering for me). Sadly brushing our teeth is still about 20 years out according to this prediction, however maybe by then our phones will be able to do some sort of ultrasonic cleaning. [[User:Jasonk|Jasonk]] ([[User talk:Jasonk|talk]]) 13:58, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
:I'm continually surprised that nobody is known to have fallen for a joke digital toilet-tissue app called iWipe. [[User:ProphetZarquon|ProphetZarquon]] ([[User talk:ProphetZarquon|talk]]) 15:21, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

It seems like it would be good to reference Randall's [[:Category:xkcd Phones|rather unusual phone function proposals]] in the explanation. Perhaps he's suggesting that these phones will become commonly used (or at least used by him) in the future. [[User:Dry Paratroopa|Dry Paratroopa]] ([[User talk:Dry Paratroopa|talk]]) 14:38, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

Maybe when he says "TV remote" he's actually talking about "cable box remote". I think there's an Xfinity X1 mobile app. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 16:45, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

Could the cheese grater be a reference to Apple's newest computers? I could imagine an iPhone with the "cheese grater" texture. [[User:Billtheplatypus|Billtheplatypus]] ([[User talk:Billtheplatypus|talk]]) 17:01, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

I am very curious as to what specific device Randall used for his telephone way back when before he used his phone. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.70.28|172.68.70.28]] 17:24, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

If you think about it, the phone started out with maybe 4 components: microphone, speaker, bell ringer, and gizmo to alert the operator to connect to you. Newspaper was paper and ink. Flashlight was bulb and battery. They had nothing in common at all. So dog leash? Better GPS + bluetooth shock collar. Tazer? Better battery + extendable prongs. Toilet paper is easy: bluetooth enabled bidet. Honestly, the only device I would bet money on being wrong is the bird feeder. After all, who would deliberately walk away from their phone for hours on end? (besides me) [[Special:Contributions/172.68.90.100|172.68.90.100]] 21:41, 7 October 2019 (UTC) SiliconWolf

== y axis order ==

I wonder if there is a rationale for the ordering on the vertical axis. They are mostly, but not exclusively, monotonically increasing in time.

Talk:2212: Cell Phone Functions

2019-10-07T21:41:46Z

172.68.90.100:

I know of someone who DID build a taser into a phone... (but that's all it is now, was no space for the phone's electronics anymore) [[Special:Contributions/172.69.54.39|172.69.54.39]] 08:05, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
: Well, there are actual commercial taser phone cases available for purchase today - [https://youtu.be/XaJSYxit1qI here's one example]. Not necessarily a good idea and not legal everywhere, but it exists. --[[User:NeatNit|NeatNit]] ([[User talk:NeatNit|talk]]) 12:03, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

It seems a bit peculiar that one of the move "obvious" devices a cellphone can replace is missing: the watch. [[User:JohnHawkinson|JohnHawkinson]] ([[User talk:JohnHawkinson|talk]]) 08:18, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
: That's because no one sane would do that ;) Some may use a Smart Watch instead of a classic watch but except of the case when you were used to pocket watches anyways a replacement of a wacth by a phone would be a downgrade usability wise. /edit: That being said: My personal "Now" bar is at the first quarter (more or less at the web browser's bar end) [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 08:29, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

:: I realize it's unlikely you're being entirely serious here, but the same argument applies to almost all of the devices listed in this comic. So…no, that's not the reason for its omission. [[User:JohnHawkinson|JohnHawkinson]] ([[User talk:JohnHawkinson|talk]]) 08:33, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
::: Actually I was dead serious. Well except of the "no one sane" part. I don't want to offend anyone :) In the time you take your phone out of the pocket to check the time I've looked thrice at my wrist watch [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 08:54, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
:::: The time taken isn't awfully relevant, unless you're checking the time awfully frequently. For the number of times a day I need to check the time when I'm not at a computer or already looking at my phone, the convenience of a wristwatch could easily be outweighed by the inconvenience of taking it off and putting in on each day. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.178.69|162.158.178.69]] 09:34, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
::::: Assuming you'd put it off. ;) (Despite the emoticon I'm serious again. I only put my watch off to change the battery) And even if I would put it off it would be more likely I forgot my phone on my desk than forgetting to put the watch on. I'm wearing a wrist watch since I was 8 or 9. But granted, the time is not as relevant as the fact that you have to put a device from out of somewhere and push a button to activate the screen just to check time. But in the end it's just a matter of personal taste and habit, I guess. [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 10:02, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
::::::Yeah, whether it's as convenient or even as good is irrelevant: Cell phones are not as good at photos as a dedicated camera but they are used for that because they can do it without the need for a separate device, which is the point of this comic. Most people do not wear watches anymore & just use their phones instead. Watches really would belong on this list, except it might be more difficult to pin down a transitional point! Some of us stopped needing watches when we realized our Nokia 3390 had a clock in the corner. Other people may have whattimeisitrightnow dot com on their smartphone's home screen... [[User:ProphetZarquon|ProphetZarquon]] ([[User talk:ProphetZarquon|talk]]) 14:44, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
:::: A phone in the pocket is infinitely better for me than a watch because watches make the skin underneath the wristband itch from the continuous contact. (I have atopic dermatitis.) -- [[Special:Contributions/162.158.93.135|162.158.93.135]] 13:35, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
: there was a brief period between ubiquitous cell/mobile phone use and the advent of the smartwatch where experts predicted the demise of the watch other than as a piece of jewellery [[User:Boatster|Boatster]] ([[User talk:Boatster|talk]]) 08:46, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
: I always hated wearing a watch - I do sometimes use my phone for finding the time - but "Hey Google - what time is it?" works without taking it out of my pocket. The thing is though - watches were obsolete before the smartphone existed. When just about 100% of electronic devices have clock display - my cooker, microwave, toaster, car, TV, computer, etc, etc ALL tell me the time. Why would I need a watch? SmartWatches seem like a retrograde step. [[User:SteveBaker|SteveBaker]] ([[User talk:SteveBaker|talk]]) 13:17, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
:: Well, with a watch you always know, where to look, especially when not in your own home. So just looking at your own wrist is much faster, then scanning your enviroment for the nearest screen. --[[User:Lupo|Lupo]] ([[User talk:Lupo|talk]]) 13:29, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
::"Smart Watches" that don't do much without a smartphone to connect to seem especially backwards to me. A smart watch with cellular radio would be useful on its own. Side note: So _you're_ that one person who leaves voice activation on all the time!?! Setting the very real privacy & safety issues aside for a moment... Doesn't it trigger from random conversations on an almost daily basis? I don't even know anyone who was able to leave Siri or Alexa on touchless, much less Google. [[User:ProphetZarquon|ProphetZarquon]] ([[User talk:ProphetZarquon|talk]]) 15:21, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
:I agree, it seems to me that the majority of people who had a cell phone as a teenager never acquired the habit of wearing a watch. I happen to still wear a watch and I also have a separate device that I use instead of my cell phone to make phone calls when I am at home. It's called a "telephone". And it's a fact that very few people who had a cell phone as a teenager have one of these in their homes. [[User:Rtanenbaum|Rtanenbaum]] ([[User talk:Rtanenbaum|talk]]) 19:49, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

Try to translate "die eierlegende Wollmilchsau"
[[Special:Contributions/162.158.89.97|162.158.89.97]] 09:52, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
:Sounds a lot like a schmoo from _Lil Abner_ by Al Capp! I wonder if the egg-legend woolmillsow is where he got the idea? [[User:ProphetZarquon|ProphetZarquon]] ([[User talk:ProphetZarquon|talk]]) 15:21, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

There is a terrible movie - [[Wikipedia:Shorts: The Adventures of the Wishing Rock|Shorts: The Adventures of the Wishing Rock]] - where everyone has a device called The Black Box that can do all of that, as well as pretty much anything. Its function changes kind of like a Rubik's Cube. It's an obvious parody of smartphones, except that it came out right around the time they were getting popular so I'm not sure if smartphones are the true inspiration. I can't recommend that movie (really, it's awful) but this comic reminded me of it and I wanted to share. --[[User:NeatNit|NeatNit]] ([[User talk:NeatNit|talk]]) 10:11, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
:Also see the Guide 2.0 as depicted in the later _Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy_ novels. It would do anything its user asked, including removing all Earths from all timelines (which is what it was built for). There's an old SciFi story about a man with a hypnotic paisley tie who accidentally leaves behind a futuristic universal remote & the contemporary guy who finds it gets in trouble. Overall, the "one device that does everything" has been an idea for at least a hundred years; but I think it's not just dismissed as whimsy so easily these days. [[User:ProphetZarquon|ProphetZarquon]] ([[User talk:ProphetZarquon|talk]]) 15:21, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

Re: steering wheel, there was a James Bond movie (Pierce Brosnan era I think) where he could control a car from a phone (they were not yet called smartphones at the time). I wouldn't be surprised that the technology has already been implemented, even though I don't want to think of the legal consequences if this became mainstream: "Honestly officer, I wasn't LOOKING at my phone, I was DRIVING my car!"[[Special:Contributions/162.158.155.110|162.158.155.110]] 11:30, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
: sure it's *technically* possible: all you need is to pair the gyro/accelerometer of your phone with your car's servo steering. any vehicle with a parking assistant can be controlled that way (and security researchers have demonstrated that in impressive talks back in 2015: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OobLb1McxnI). [[User:Gir|-- //gir.st/]] ([[User talk:Gir|talk]]) 11:37, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
:It was in ''Tomorrow Never Dies'' (https://youtu.be/BxTvfVZjR_Q) with a 'slightly' non-standard phone (pre-smartphone) and a 'slightly' non-standard car... Hardly the most unbelievable feature, though. ;) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.158.235|162.158.158.235]] 16:06, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

I've written a first draft of the explanation and transcript, but I don't have time for anything else today. It turned out more high-flown than I intended, so feel free to reword as necessary. Also, because I'm sure it'll come up eventually, regarding the transcript: since Randall has not given any time scale, we should refrain from over-interpreting when something happened. For the joke to get through, knowing which elements happened in the past and which (might) happen in the future is enough. [[User:Gir|-- //gir.st/]] ([[User talk:Gir|talk]]) 11:33, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

Hmmm - so let's fact check this:
* My phone is indeed being used as a car key (I own a Tesla and my phone unlocks the car and lets me drive it), phone, camera, newspaper, credit card and flashlight - so short bars for all of these is good.
* As a TV remote, that could be true - but we're actually edging into a "post-phone" era on that one. I can (and occasionally do) use my phone to control the Roku - but it's easier to use voice commands through Google Home for that...although I suppose I could use the phone to run Google Home instead of the Google Mini in my living room...so 50/50 on being "post-phone" on this one.
* As a Web Browser, I could use the phone - but only rarely actually do that. Mostly I use my ChromeBook for that, and also the screen on my Tesla - the piddly little cellphone screen guarantees it won't take over that role for more than 10% of the time.
* He missed out "Text messaging" - but I'm using the phone less and less for that because having a decent keyboard is good - so the ChromeBook is stealing that capability.
* Steering wheel...well, the Tesla already steers itself about 80% of the time that I drive. I predict that the steering wheel will cease to exist (at least for me) before I use my phone for that...although it certainly is capable of it in theory...and I'm pretty sure Tesla demonstrated the car being used as a radio controlled toy from a phone a few years ago...although it never made it into production (mercifully!).
* You probably could use a phone as a bird feeder (for smaller birds - draping a dead rabbit over it to attract vultures might be a bad idea).
* All of the others are well into the future...so I agree with him on those.
[[User:SteveBaker|SteveBaker]] ([[User talk:SteveBaker|talk]]) 13:13, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

I feel like we could/should be reading this more literally. If we assume that Randall lives on the fairly early edge of technology, then the time from the left side of the chart to now is ~25 years. If we also assume that the time axis is linear, then we should be driving our cars with our phones in 7-8 years (though I can now drive my car through a parking lot at least using my phone, it's still doing the steering for me). Sadly brushing our teeth is still about 20 years out according to this prediction, however maybe by then our phones will be able to do some sort of ultrasonic cleaning. [[User:Jasonk|Jasonk]] ([[User talk:Jasonk|talk]]) 13:58, 7 October 2019 (UTC)
:I'm continually surprised that nobody is known to have fallen for a joke digital toilet-tissue app called iWipe. [[User:ProphetZarquon|ProphetZarquon]] ([[User talk:ProphetZarquon|talk]]) 15:21, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

It seems like it would be good to reference Randall's [[:Category:xkcd Phones|rather unusual phone function proposals]] in the explanation. Perhaps he's suggesting that these phones will become commonly used (or at least used by him) in the future. [[User:Dry Paratroopa|Dry Paratroopa]] ([[User talk:Dry Paratroopa|talk]]) 14:38, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

Maybe when he says "TV remote" he's actually talking about "cable box remote". I think there's an Xfinity X1 mobile app. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 16:45, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

Could the cheese grater be a reference to Apple's newest computers? I could imagine an iPhone with the "cheese grater" texture. [[User:Billtheplatypus|Billtheplatypus]] ([[User talk:Billtheplatypus|talk]]) 17:01, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

I am very curious as to what specific device Randall used for his telephone way back when before he used his phone. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.70.28|172.68.70.28]] 17:24, 7 October 2019 (UTC)

If you think about it, the phone started out with maybe 4 components: microphone, speaker, bell ringer, and gizmo to alert the operator to connect to you. Newspaper was paper and ink. Flashlight was bulb and battery. They had nothing in common at all. So dog leash? Better GPS + bluetooth shock collar. Tazer? Better battery + extendable prongs. Honestly, the only device I would bet money on being wrong is the bird feeder. After all, who would deliberately walk away from their phone for hours on end? (besides me) [[Special:Contributions/172.68.90.100|172.68.90.100]] 21:41, 7 October 2019 (UTC) SiliconWolf

== y axis order ==

I wonder if there is a rationale for the ordering on the vertical axis. They are mostly, but not exclusively, monotonically increasing in time.

2193: Well-Ordering Principle

2019-08-31T17:41:27Z

172.68.90.100: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2193
| date = August 23, 2019
| title = Well-Ordering Principle
| image = well_ordering_principle.png
| titletext = We could organize a nationwide old-photo-album search, but the real Worst McFly is probably lost to time.
}}

==Explanation==
In the comic, [[Megan]] has found a genie lamp. A genie (or {{w|Jinn}}) in a lamp is a supernatural, immortal being from many fairy tales, the most well known that from {{w|Aladdin}}, who grants one or more wishes to the person who frees it, such as by polishing or opening the lamp. Instead of wishing for multiple wishes, flight, money, or other "traditional" wishes, Megan instead wishes to see the worst Marty McFly Halloween costume.

{{w|Marty McFly}}, played by actor {{w|Michael J. Fox}}, is a main character of the science fiction film about time travel ''{{w|Back to the Future (franchise)|Back to the Future}}'', which was released, [[:Category:Comics to make one feel old|we are reminded]], over thirty years ago, starting a series of sequels. The films are popular, so many people dress up as McFly or Doc Brown, the other main character, on {{w|Halloween}}, a holiday on October 31 when it is traditional in the USA to wear {{w|Halloween costume|different costumes}}. McFly's outfit in the original film consists of little more than an orange vest, jean jacket, checkered shirt, jeans, and sneakers. It would seem difficult to get this wrong.

In the final panel, the genie questions why she would wish for something so mundane, when he has the power to grant wishes beyond her wildest dreams. Megan, being savvy of tropes, used in fiction since biblical times, points out that encounters with wish-granting entities often turn out to be traps; genies in fiction will often interpret wishes in ways the wisher did not intend, and particularly mean-spirited ones will {{tvtropes|JackassGenie|twist a mortal's desire into their own personal hell}}. So Megan tries to play it safe by wishing for something innocuous and with little room for harmful side-effects. Unfortunately, Megan appears to have forgotten the overarching trope: all wishes can be twisted against the wisher.

The genie may also be reluctant to fulfill the wish due to the insurmountable practical difficulties of fulfilling such subjective, ill-defined request. The {{w|well-ordering principle}} is a mathematical fact stating that every non-empty set of positive integers contains a least element. This principle would apply to Megan's request if there was guaranteed to be an absolute worst costume of Marty McFly. However, subjective {{w|preference}}, while {{w|Reflexive relation|reflexive}} and {{w|Transitive relation|transitive}}, is not {{w|Well-founded relation|well-founded}} (or {{w|Symmetric relation|symmetric}} or necessarily {{w|Antisymmetric relation|antisymmetric}} or {{w|Connex relation|(semi-)connex}} for that matter) and is therefore considered to be a {{w|preorder}}, also called a quasiorder. This means that the genie may not be able to fulfill Megan's wish if the selection is based on the preferences of any one person. For example, the genie may have no opinion on the quality of any McFly costume, or might judge them on criteria completely different from Megan's. Her own criteria might apply to some pairs of costumes but not others, leading to ambiguity as to which is the worst, and no way to say whether any of the candidate possibilities are as bad as the others.

While Megan isn't explicitly wishing for a {{w|Public opinion|common or widely-shared opinion}}, the title text contemplates organizing a "nationwide" search. People's preferences can be combined, such as with a {{w|mean opinion score}} which, while not strictly well-ordered, is usually able to identify a single worst costume, or at least a set of costumes tied for worst place according to aggregate subjective preferences. There are [https://www.docdroid.net/bcKvZmM/preference-aggregation.pdf many other ways to combine preferences] (e.g. voting) but none of them meet all of the criteria considered desirable, as demonstrated by {{w|Arrow's impossibility theorem}}. There is no way to exclude the possibility that even an omniscient and omnipotent genie might be {{w|Omnipotence paradox|technically unable}} to fulfill the wish, at least without, for example, changing one or more persons' preferences or modifying the space-time continuum to retroactively change the quality of some costumes of the past. The genie could fulfill the wish by showing Megan every McFly costume ever worn, which would necessarily show her the worst by any possible definition, but could be the trap she was hoping to avoid because viewing all the "hundreds of thousands" would take an inordinately long time.

The title text may explain why Megan is interested in this wish: any means available to her would be restricted to a geographic area's (nationwide) photographs or drawings from memory. It is likely the worst costume was either never photographed, or isn't remembered accurately by those who saw it (it is lost to time). By asking the genie to show her, she might be able to see the truly worst costume without being restricted to only those for which evidence remains. Such a wish fulfillment might even require actual time travel to the time and location where the costume existed. The title text can also be interpreted as [[Randall|Randall's]] wish to know about the worst costume. So this is not Megan but Randall who has the wish to see this costume. The best we can do today is to look through all the available photos of McFly costumes. But even if one of those could be agreed upon to be the worst, there is no guarantee that there is not even worse versions that is not documented for posterity. In this interpretation, what Randall really would like is to use a dangerous genie wish to get around these difficulties.

This brings us right back into the trap Megan was trying to avoid. If time travel were to be used, Megan could be subjected to the exact same time paradox that Marty McFly encountered when his parents were in danger of not falling in love.

An additional, subtle pun plays on the word "well". In European folklore, {{w|Wishing_well|water wells}} are often associated with spirits which may grant wishes, similar to genies. Thus, Megan's explanation of why she made a simple request of the genie is a statement of her "well-ordering principle"; her principle for ordering wishes from wells. (See also the [[:Category:Well|Well series]]).

==Transcript==
:[Megan rubs a lamp held in her hands. A genie appears from the end of the lamp. The genie resembles the top half of Cueball's body, with a head, torso, and crossed arms, but with a squiggle representing a puff of smoke in place of his legs.]
:Genie: Greetings, mortal. You have freed me. I will grant you one wish.
:Megan: Hmm.

:[Megan holding the lamp to her side. The genie is off-panel.]
:Megan: It's been over 30 years since ''{{w|Back to the Future}}'' came out. Since then, probably hundreds of thousands of people have tried to dress as Marty McFly for Halloween.
:Genie: OK, and?

:[Megan, holding the lamp to her side, talking to the genie, who is floating in the air.]
:Megan: Of those people, one of them must have done the worst job.
:Megan: My wish is to see their costume.

:[Megan still holding the lamp and talking to the genie. The genie is exasperated, and has his hands raised.]
:Genie: Not a billion dollars? Flight? Infinite wishes?
:Megan: These wish things are always traps.
:Megan: Just show me the worst McFly and we'll call it even.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category: Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics to make one feel old]]
[[Category: Fiction]]
[[Category: Math]]

Blag

2019-06-15T20:39:56Z

172.68.90.100: update?

The Blag is the official [[xkcd]] blog. Its name is an intentional typo of the word "blog", inspired by the comic [[148: Mispronouncing]]. It was launched in October 2006, 6 weeks after the publication of that comic.

Since 2012, updates to the blog have been sporadic, and most new posts are now about Munroe's books or book tours. There were no posts to the blog between [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/11/24/a-puzzle-for-the-uk/ November 24, 2015] and [https://blog.xkcd.com/2019/02/05/how-to-absurd-scientific-advice-for-common-real-world-problems/ February 5, 2019], most likely due to the three-year gap between the promotional cycles of ''[[Thing Explainer]]'' and ''[[How To]]''. As of June 2019, the most recent post unrelated to Munroe's books was [https://blog.xkcd.com/2014/05/30/isee-3/ ISEE-3], published on May 30, 2014.

== External links ==
* http://blog.xkcd.com

[[Category:Meta]]

2155: Swimming

2019-05-28T23:09:52Z

172.68.90.100: Dudes! I found the actual phobia name!

{{comic
| number = 2155
| date = May 27, 2019
| title = Swimming
| before = [[#Explanation|↓ Skip to explanation ↓]]
| image = swimming.png
| titletext = "You don't know how high above you the sky goes, but you're not freaking out about that." "Well, NOW I am!"
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a CONTINENTAL SHELF. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This comic is about an irrational fear about the depth of water beneath oneself, also known as thalassophobia. Whenever you don't explicitly know how deep the water is, and cannot see the bottom, there is nothing preventing the sea/lake/riverbed from being exceptionally far away. This phenomenon is actually quite common with many bodies of water having a relatively shallow shelf extending a short ways out from land. These typically end with little to no warning, giving rise to the fear that is depicted here.

It is an '''irrational''' fear because if one is swimming, the depth of the water underneath is not important to safety. If one is wading, presumably one would feel the bottom drop away.

Here, [[Megan]] and [[Cueball]] are in in the ocean, with Cueball treading water and Megan standing on the seabed, with another girl in the water and another Cueball watching from the beach. Megan mentions that she can still touch bottom, thus thinking it is safe. In front of her however the seabed drops off steeply, becoming nearly vertical. Fish and jellyfish are in the water below, while at the bottom of the frame, but not the sea floor, a small ledge holds an octopus and a beach umbrella.

The beach umbrella may be from the beach, to give human scale. It could also be a Lemmings reference.

===Related comics===
*In [[731: Desert Island]] a similar vision of not knowing what is beneath the surface is depicted.
*Randall provided the depths of various bodies of water without mentioning any specific fears in [[1040: Lakes and Oceans]].
*The title text may be a reference to [[1115: Sky]], where [[Megan]] similarly starts freaking out about the depth of the sky.
*[[what if%3F]] [https://what-if.xkcd.com/103/ #103] covers what would happen if all the bodies of water vanished. It refers to the sharp drop-off of the continental shelf, and divides boats into two categories: those over the shelf that crash within a few seconds, and those past the shelf that take up to a minute to reach bottom.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[The single panel comic is around 4 times higher than it is wide (317×1284 pixels). Cueball is watching from the beach while Megan with another character is standing neck deep in water near an extreme drop off (continental shelf?) and another Cueball is swimming further. This part of the comic is at the very top, and the characters are drawn much smaller than usual.]

:Megan: It's OK, I can still touch bottom here.

:[As the tall image is scrolled down, there are some deep water fish, a jellyfish, and an octopus, a bottom ledge with a beach umbrella on it, and another drop off.]

:[Caption below the panel:]
:I love swimming, but occasionally I realize I don't know how deep the water under me is and it freaks me out.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Large drawings‏‎]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

2148: Cubesat Launch

2019-05-10T15:54:50Z

172.68.90.100: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2148
| date = May 10, 2019
| title = Cubesat Launch
| image = cubesat_launch.png
| titletext = Luckily, the damages were partly offset by the prize money we got from accidentally winning the nearby water skiing championship tournament.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a Launch Accident Investigator. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

It's unclear exactly what Megan's plan is in this comic. It's likely that the result was not what she had envisioned. So what was the purpose of the fishing line?

In reality, this plan would have failed for multiple reasons. 1. Security (hopefully) would have prevented the drone from reaching the rocket. 2. The drone would not have been able to attach itself to the rocket in a way that would remain secure. 3. The fishing line would not hold - either the rocket exhaust would have severed it or the weight of the fishing line itself would have become more than it's tensile strength could withstand. 4. Weight is an EXTREMELY important number during launch. The extra weight of the drone, the fishing line, the air drag from the drone and the line; all would have combined to make the rocket 'heavier'. This unexpected extra weight would not have been calculated during fueling the rocket and the rocket would run out of propellant before achieving orbit. 5. An atmospheric drone cannot function in space. It's not rated for the extreme temperatures. It's not able to receive or transmit signals to the surface, it's not shielded from radiation, it's not able to maneuver without air. 6. Even if we assume that the rocket still achieves orbit and the fishing line is magically strong enough to resist it's own weight and keep from snapping, the weight would drag down anything attached to it - the drone would not stay in orbit.

Whatever her plan was, the plan goes wrong almost immediately. The rocket begins to tilt from the unexpected weight and causes the rocket to go off course. Megan and Cueball get tangled in the fishing line and are carried away. It is presumed that the rocket crashes not long after. Megan and Cueball miraculously survive and are brought to an investigative board to explain their actions. Megan attempts to defend herself using flawed logic: something was bound to go wrong sooner or later, so it's not my fault that I was the cause.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}

2147: Appendicitis

2019-05-10T15:02:08Z

172.68.90.100: Cueball holding stomach in panel 1

{{comic
| number = 2147
| date = May 8, 2019
| title = Appendicitis
| image = appendicitis.png
| titletext = Fortunately, after a brief skirmish, I seem to have gained the upper hand in the battle against my internal organs, at least until they learn to read and find out the mean stuff I've said about them.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a ROGUE ORGAN. Does anyone know where Randall's surgery was announced? If so, please add the link to the explanation. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

[[Cueball]] is visiting [[Ponytail#Doctor_Ponytail|Doctor Ponytail]], this time to diagnose some medical condition. From her description, ''zapped you with energy beams'', it sounds like they just took an {{w|Projectional radiography|x-ray image}}, maybe in the form of a {{w|CT scan}}, and Ponytail is following up on the results. It appears that he may have {{w|appendicitis}}, the title of the comic, which could be treated through {{w|antibiotics}}, or through an {{w|appendectomy}} surgery.

As is typical for Doctor Ponytail, she characterizes the diagnosis in a strange and not-entirely-helpful way, in this case likening Cueball's inflamed appendix to a social uprising or rebellion. In some ways, this is not a bad metaphor - Cueball is an organism, and as such, functions best when all of his organic parts are working correctly in unison. People often express the similar sentiment of being "betrayed by their own body" to describe a biological function that isn't working right. However, Doctor Ponytail insists on talking ''only'' in metaphor, preventing Cueball from getting any useful medical detail about his condition.

Antibiotic treatment is described as using "chemical / biological weapons", while the appendectomy is described as "victory through the sword". She further describes more extreme "battle tactics", like crushing all other rebellions in his body. Lastly, she mentions "salting his abdomen" to prevent other rebellions. This is a reference to the {{w|salting the earth}} tactic in battle, which was a ritual to symbolize a curse on a conquered city and would have theoretically hindered future crop production, thus preventing that city from being rebuilt. It is likely that the medical usage would be the application of saline solution, salt in water, which is used for cleaning wounds.

A possible alternate explanation could involve cancer. Cancer involves cells in the body rapidly multiplying and endangering the rest of the body, which could be likened to a form of treason. The "chemical / biological weapons" could be a reference to chemotherapy (a chemical process using poisons to stop cancer cell division) and immunotherapy (a biological process using the body's immune system to attack cancer cells). Panel three could be construed as exploratory surgery. Panel four could be referencing cancer-preventative drugs taken to prevent remission.

After all this explanation, Cueball begins to question Ponytail's methods, and requests to see a different doctor to get a {{w|Second_opinion#Medicine|second opinion}}.

The title text continues the battle metaphor, saying that Cueball is defeating his illness, at least until they can read his words against them.

Two days before posting this comic Randall had a case of Appendicitis{{Citation needed}}, but is now recovering after surgery.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Cueball is seated on an medical examination table, clutching his stomach, while Ponytail stands dressed in a doctor's coat holding a file on a clipboard in her left hand.]
:Ponytail: Well, we zapped you with energy beams, and it looks like one of your stupid organs is a traitor.
:Cueball: ...which one?
:Ponytail: I dunno, appendix? Gallbladder? One of the little ones that sucks.
:Cueball: What should I do?

:[Closeup on Ponytail. She holds her left hand in a clenched fist.]
:Ponytail: You could quash the revolt with the ruthless deployment of chemical and biological weapons.
:Cueball (off-screen): ...antibiotics?
:Ponytail: But certain victory comes only through ''the sword''.
:Cueball (off-screen): Surgery.

:[Closeup on Ponytail with her fists raised.]
:Ponytail: While we're inside, we'll look around-if we see any signs of insurrection elsewhere, we will not hesitate to act. There can be no armistice. Your parts must fall in line or be crushed.
:Cueball (off-screen): Um.

:[Zoom out again to the entire scene. Ponytail points her left hand up.]
:Ponytail: When the battle is won, we will salt your abdomen so no new organs can ever sprout up to trouble you again.
:Cueball: Maybe I should get a second opinion.
:Ponytail: Only if you care what a ''weaker'' doctor would say.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]