explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

what if? articles

2025-01-31T20:11:20Z

172.69.194.162: On consideration, better here for vertical spacing.

<noinclude>{{DISPLAYTITLE:''What If?'' chapters}}:''For other instances of this title, see [[What If (disambiguation)]].

</noinclude>==Article index==
<big>'''After more than two weeks and a TON of work by [[Talk:What If? chapters|so many people]], the two ''what if?'' tables have finally been merged.'''</big> --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 17:13, 30 January 2025 (UTC)

* ''' ✓'''<big> '''Added: '''</big> '''ALL ~140 book-exclusive articles (!!!) to the table, each color-coded by book; EVERY YouTube video and its associated article; over new 130 thumbnails uploaded; new article from [[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition|the new book]] and the [[what if? (blog)#top|deleted article]].'''

* ''' ✓'''<big> '''Changes: '''</big> '''Merged columns No., Release date, and Weeks since last release; every column now easily sortable; columns Blog, Book (new), and YouTube (new) now use {{template|blog}} and {{template|book}} and are color-coded; split ''Short-Answer Sections'' into different cells; title bold and question italics and quoted

''' '''<big> '''Things left to do: '''</big>  ''(If you need help editing the table, check out the '''[[What If? chapters#Editors|Editors section]]'''! It includes a simple summary of the templates' documentations.)''

*We mostly only need to work on the explanations now! Add them for the articles that don't have one and improve the existing ones (they should be a summary of the answer, not just 1-2 sentences).
*2 blog articles featured in the first ''What If?'' book are missing their '''{{template|book}}''' template (there are 67 instead of 69). Find them by comparing this table to [[What If? chapters#Old Table|the old table]]!
*Randall has released a new book, "''[[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition|What If? 10th Anniversary Edition]]''". [[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition|Add info about the new book]] and [[:Category:Books|update the old book pages]]!

<div style="display:none;">__TOC__</div>This is an index of all articles featured in Randall Munroe's ''what if?'' [[what if? (blog)|blog]] and [[:Category:Books|book series]]. You can use the columns to sort the table alphabetically, by release date on the blog or YouTube, or by chapter in the books. The thumbnail is only available for articles published on the blog. If the title of a blog article differs from the one in the book, the latter will be provided in the Book column. A much simpler list that doesn't include book-exclusive arcticles can be found in the [https://what-if.xkcd.com/archive/ archive section] of the blog.

{| class="sortable wikitable"
!Thumbnail
!Title
!Reader's question
!Randall's answer
!Blog
!Books
!YouTube
|-
|[[File:Relativistic Baseball.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|1|Relativistic Baseball}}'''
|''"What would happen if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light?"''
|The ball would create plasma and reach home plate by about 70 nanoseconds. The result would be some kind of nuclear explosion, destroying everything about a mile from the field. A ruling of "{{w|hit by pitch}}" could be interpreted in this situation.
|{{blog|1|2012|07|10}}
|{{book|1|2}}
|{{book|5|2024|02|06|3EI08o-IGYk|What if you threw a baseball at nearly light speed?}}
|-
|[[File:SAT Guessing.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|2|SAT Guessing}}'''
|''"What if everyone who took the SAT guessed on every multiple-choice question? How many perfect scores would there be?"''
|No one would get a perfect score. The odds of guessing correctly on every question would be less than the odds of every ex-living president at that time and the main cast of [[:Category:Firefly|Firefly]] getting struck by lightning on the same day.
|{{blog|2|2012|07|10|7d early}}
|{{book|1|66}}
|
|-
|[[File:Yoda.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|3|Yoda}}'''
|''"How much Force power can Yoda output?"''
|Yoda can output about 19.2 kilowatts, or 25 horsepower. "Yoda power" would cost about $2/hour.
|{{blog|3|2012|07|17}}
|{{book|1|32}}
|
|-
|[[File:A Moles of Moles.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|4|A Mole of Moles}}'''
|''"What would happen if you were to gather a mole (unit of measurement) of moles (the small furry critter) in one place?"''
|As a mole is such a high number this would be tricky. They would condense into a pressurized sphere of meat that would freeze and occasionally explode from gases.
|{{blog|4|2012|07|24}}
|{{book|1|10}}
|
|-
|[[File:Robot Apocalypse.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|5|Robot Apocalypse}}'''
|''"What if there was a robot apocalypse? How long would humanity last?"''
|{{notice|Too short. Explain in more detail}}Humanity would survive if the robots cared about keeping themselves alive as well. If not, then we would all die.
|{{blog|5|2012|07|31}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Glass Half Empty.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|6|Glass Half Empty}}'''
|''"What if a glass of water was, all of a sudden, literally half empty?"''
|If the vacuum were on the bottom half, it would explode, but if it were on the top half, the air rushes in and it becomes normal water.
|{{blog|6|2012|08|07}}
|{{book|1|26}}
|{{book|16|2024|09|24|0EytSWiKrFg|What if a glass of water were LITERALLY half empty?}}
|-
|[[File:Everybody Out.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|7|Everybody Out}}'''
|''"Is there enough energy to move the entire current human population off-planet?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}No, at least not without starving to death quickly and leaving our pets, belongings, and everything else behind.
|{{blog|7|2012|08|14}}
|{{book|1|35}}
|
|-
|[[File:Everybody Jump.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|8|Everybody Jump}}'''
|''"What would happen if everyone on earth stood as close to each other as they could and jumped, everyone landing on the ground at the same instant?"''
|Earth would be unaffected, but almost all humans would probably be wiped out due to everyone trying to get home at the same time.
|{{blog|8|2012|08|21}}
|{{book|1|9}}
|{{book|9|2024|04|16|p2M8Y0z9Rl0|What if everyone jumped at once?}}
|-
|[[File:Soul Mates.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|9|Soul Mates}}'''
|''"What if everyone actually had only one soul mate, a random person somewhere in the world?"''
|Almost nobody would find their soul mate, so most people would probably fake love, due to the difficult nature of finding true love and staying with someone.
|{{blog|9|2012|08|28}}
|{{book|1|6}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cassini.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|10|Cassini}}'''
|''"What would the world be like if the land masses were spread out the same way as now - only rotated by an angle of 90 degrees?"''
|{{notice|Too short. Why "probably"?. Explain}}Mass biosphere collapse. Most major cities wouldn’t be affected much and humanity would ''probably'' still be able to survive.
|{{blog|10|2012|09|04}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Droppings.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|11|Droppings}}'''
|''"If you went outside and lay down on your back with your mouth open, how long would you have to wait until a bird pooped in it?"''
|Assuming you are in an area with a reasonable number of birds, you'd have to wait about 195 years.
|{{blog|11|2012|09|11}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Raindrop.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|12|Raindrop}}'''
|''"What if a rainstorm dropped all of its water in a single giant drop?"''
|{{notice|Too short. Why/how would it be obliterated?}}The surrounding area would be obliterated and there would be mass confusion for many following years.
|{{blog|12|2012|09|18}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Laser Pointer.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|13|Laser Pointer}}'''
|''"If every person on Earth aimed a laser pointer at the Moon at the same time, would it change color?"''
|{{notice|Too short. Explain the scenarios.}}Not with regular lasers, but with more power, you could destroy the world.
|{{blog|13|2012|09|25}}
|{{book|1|7}}
|{{book|18|2024|11|05|JqFSGkFPipM|What if everyone pointed a laser at the moon?}}
|-
| rowspan="7" |[[File:Short Answer Section.png|100px]]
| rowspan="7" |'''{{what if|14|Short Answer Section}}'''
|''"How long would the Sun last if a giant water hose were focused upon it?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}The Sun would become a black hole with all the mass of the water.
| rowspan="7"{{blog|14|2012|10|02}}
| rowspan="7" |
| rowspan="7" |
|-
|''"What if you shined a flashlight (or a laser) into a sphere made of one-way mirror glass?"''
|One-way glass does not exist. The light shines through just like normal glass.
|-
|''"If Michael Phelps could hold his breath indefinitely, how long would it take for him to reach the lowest point in the ocean and back if he swam straight down and then straight back up?"''
|Michael Phelps would die somewhere between 100 and 400 meters of depth. If he were immune to pressure, then it would take 3 hours to swim to the bottom of the Marianas Trench and back.
|-
|''"In the first Superman movie, Superman flies around Earth so fast that it begins turning in the opposite direction. This somehow turns back time [... ] How much energy would someone flying around the Earth have to exert in order to reverse the Earth's rotation?"''
|Superman wasn't pushing the Earth. He was flying {{w|Superluminal motion|superluminally}} and was thus travelling back through time.
|-
|''"How fast would you have to go in your car to run a red light claiming that it appeared green to you due to the Doppler Effect?"''
|{{notice|Explain the Doppler effect.}}About one sixth of the {{w|speed of light}}.
|-
|''"What would happen if you opened a portal between Boston (sea level) and Mexico City (elev. 8000+ feet)?"''
|There would be winds of 440 mph (708 km/h) sucking Boston into Mexico City.
|-
|''"When my wife and I started dating she invited me over for dinner at one time. Her kitchen had something called Bauhaus chairs, which are full of holes, approx 5-6 millimeters in diameter in both back and seat. During this lovely dinner I was forced to liberate a small portion of wind and was relieved that I managed to do so very discretely. Only to find that the chair I sat on converted the successful silence into a perfect, and loud, flute note. We were both (luckily) amazed and surprised and I have often wondered what the odds are for something like that happening. We kept the chairs for five years but despite laborious attempts it couldn't be reproduced."''
|This... isn’t actually a question, but thank you for sharing!
|-
|[[File:Mariana Trench Explosion.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|15|Mariana Trench Explosion}}'''
|''"What if you exploded a nuclear bomb (say, the Tsar Bomba) at the bottom of the Marianas Trench?"''
|It would warm a small patch of the ocean and not do much. With a bigger bomb, it could destroy the world.
|{{blog|15|2012|10|09}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="6" |[[File:Today's topic- Lightning.png|100px]]
| rowspan="6" |'''{{what if|16|Today's topic: Lightning}}'''
|''"How dangerous is it to be in a pool during a thunderstorm?"''
|Pretty dangerous, as if the pool was hit, 20,000 amps of electricity from the lightning bolt would spread across the surface and shock you. Randall recommends that one should stay at least 12 meters away from a pool during a thunderstorm.
| rowspan="6"{{blog|16|2012|10|16}}
| rowspan="6"{{book|1|16|Lightning}}
| rowspan="6" |
|-
|''"What would happen if you were taking a shower or standing under a waterfall when you were struck by lightning?"''
|The droplets of water wouldn’t be dangerous, but a tub of water or any puddle you stand in ''will'' be dangerous.
|-
|''"What would happen if you were in a boat, plane or a submarine that got hit by lightning?"''
|A boat would be as safe as a car if it had a cabin and lightning protection, while a submarine would be completely safe. The plane was not mentioned.
|-
|''"What if you were changing the light at the top of a radio tower and lightning struck? Or what if you were doing a backflip? Or standing in a graphite field? Or looking straight up at the bolt?"''
|You would get shocked normally if you were on a radio tower, doing a backflip, or looking straight up. These all don’t matter much. Randall doesn’t know what a graphite field is and chose not to answer that part of the question.
|-
|''"What would happen if lightning struck a bullet in midair?"''
|The bullet might be heated a little bit, but it’s travelling too fast to have any impact.
|-
|''"What if you were flashing your BIOS during a thunderstorm and you got hit by lightning?"''
|It would bring you to “Microsoft BOB®”, “Gateway 2000 Edition”.
|-
|[[File:Green Cows.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|17|Green Cows}}'''
|''"If cows could photosynthesize, how much less food would they need?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}4% less. There just isn't enough area on the car.
|{{blog|17|2012|10|23}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:BB Gun.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|18|BB Gun}}'''
|''"In Armageddon, a NASA guy comments that a plan to shoot a laser at the asteroid is like “shooting a b.b. gun at a freight train.” What would it take to stop an out-of-control freight train using only b.b. guns?"''
|{{notice|Some magic? Elaborate}}40,000 people and some magic. On the other hand, stopping an asteroid with a laser is a lot easier.
|{{blog|18|2012|10|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Tie Vote.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|19|Tie Vote}}'''
|''"What if there's LITERALLY a tie?"''
|In the case of each candidate getting the exact same amount of votes on Election Day, most states would randomly pick one, whether it be through tossing a coin, drawing a name or straws. The chances of this happening in 9 battleground states would be about equal to the elector drawing a name from a hat, then being smashed by a bale of cocaine by drug smugglers and obliterated by a meteorite impact while being swept away in a tornado.
|{{blog|19|2012|11|06}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Diamond.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|20|Diamond}}'''
|''"If a meteor made out of diamond and 100 feet in diameter was traveling at the speed of light and hit the earth, what would happen to it?"''
|Nothing made of matter can travel at the speed of light, but at the closest speed observed (99.99999999999999999999951% of the speed of light, the speed of the Oh My God Particle), the Earth would explode with enough force to obliterate the entire solar system.
|{{blog|20|2012|11|13}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Machine Gun Jetpack.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|21|Machine Gun Jetpack}}'''
|''"Is it possible to build a jetpack using downward firing machine guns?"''
|{{notice|Too short. Why the Russians? Explain}}Yes, but you need to talk to the Russians to do it right.
|{{blog|21|2012|11|20}}
|{{book|1|14}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cost of Pennies.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|22|Cost of Pennies}}'''
|''"If you carry a penny in your coin tray, how long would it take for that penny to cost you more than a cent in extra gas?"''
|
|{{blog|22|2012|11|27}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="7" |[[File:Short Answer Section II.png|100px]]
| rowspan="7" |'''{{what if|23|Short Answer Section II}}'''
|''"If my printer could literally print out money, would it have that big an effect on the world?"''
| You'd make 200 million dollars a year, so no.
| rowspan="7"{{blog|23|2012|12|04}}
| rowspan="7"{{book|1|18|Short-Answer Section}}
| rowspan="7" |
|-
|''"What would happen if you exploded a nuclear bomb in the eye of a hurricane? Would the storm cell be immediately vaporized?"''
|
|-
|''"If everyone put little turbine generators on the downspouts of their houses and businesses, how much power would we generate? Would we ever generate enough power to offset the cost of the generators?"''
|If it's very rainy, it would generate 800 watts of power, which isn't enough to offset the cost of the generators.
|-
|''"Using only pronounceable letter combinations, how long would names have to be to give each star in the universe a unique one word name?"''
|About 24 characters.
|-
|''"I bike to class sometimes. It's annoying biking in the wintertime, because it's so cold. How fast would I have to bike for my skin to warm up the way a spacecraft heats up during reentry?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}200m/s
|-
|''"How much physical space does the internet take up?"''
|An oil tanker.
|-
|''"What if you strapped C4 to a boomerang? Could this be an effective weapon, or would it be as stupid as it sounds?"''
|
|-
|[[File:Model Rockets.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|24|Model Rockets}}'''
|''"How many model rocket engines would it take to launch a real rocket into space?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}About 65,000, give or take a few.
|{{blog|24|2012|12|11}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Three Wise Men.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|25|Three Wise Men}}'''
|''"The story of the three wise men got me wondering: What if you did walk towards a star at a fixed speed? What path would you trace on the Earth? Does it converge to a fixed cycle?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}No, but it does make some really cool patterns.
|{{blog|25|2012|12|18}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Leap Seconds.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|26|Leap Seconds}}'''
|''"Every now and then we have to insert a leap second because the Earth’s rotation is slowing down. Could we speed up Earth’s rotation, so that we do not need Leap Seconds?"''
|With 50 000 planets B-612 hitting the Earth each second and a few assumptions, we could stop worrying about leap seconds.
|{{blog|26|2012|12|31|6d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Death Rates.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|27|Death Rates}}'''
|''"If one randomly chosen extra person were to die each second somewhere on Earth, what impact would it have on the world population?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}Not much, the world just has too many people.
|{{blog|27|2013|01|08|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Steak Drop.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|28|Steak Drop}}'''
|''"From what height would you need to drop a steak for it to be cooked when it hit the ground?"''
|From the very edge of the atmosphere, but even in that case it might not be fully cooked.
|{{blog|28|2013|01|15}}
|{{book|1|23}}
|
|-
|[[File:Spent Fuel Pool.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|29|Spent Fuel Pool}}'''
|''"What if I took a swim in a typical spent nuclear fuel pool? Would I need to dive to actually experience a fatal amount of radiation? How long could I stay safely at the surface?"''
|{{notice|Explain the end}}As long as you don't touch strange things and you don't swim too close to the fuel rods, it would be just like a regular pool. Except for the fact you would never make it to the pool.
|{{blog|29|2013|01|22}}
|{{book|1|3}}
|{{book|8|2024|04|02|EFRUL7vKdU8|What if you swam in a nuclear storage pool?}}
|-
|[[File:Interplanetary Cessna.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|30|Interplanetary Cessna}}'''
|''"What would happen if you tried to fly a normal Earth airplane above different Solar System bodies?"''
|It would be difficult to fly on Mars, so you would crash. The gas giants also have this problem, and you would freeze and tumble. Titan and Venus are the best bets, but Titan is cold and Venus is full of sulfuric acid.
|{{blog|30|2013|01|29}}
|{{book|1|30}}
|
|-
|[[File:FedEx Bandwidth.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|31|FedEx Bandwidth}}'''
|''"When - if ever - will the bandwidth of the Internet surpass that of FedEx?"''
|
|{{blog|31|2013|02|05}}
|{{book|1|44}}
|
|-
|[[File:Hubble.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|32|Hubble}}'''
|''"If the Hubble telescope were aimed at the Earth, how detailed would the images be?"''
|
|{{blog|32|2013|02|12}}
|
|{{book|1|2023|11|29|2LSyizrk8-0|What if we aimed the Hubble Telescope at Earth?}}
|-
|[[File:Ships.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|33|Ships}}'''
|''"How much would the sea level fall if every ship were removed all at once from the Earth's waters?"''
|Less than a human hair's width.
|{{blog|33|2013|02|19}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:what if? Twitter.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|34|Twitter}}'''
|''"How many unique English tweets are possible? How long would it take for the population of the world to read them all out loud?"''
|{{notice|Too short. Why?}}Forever, literally.
|{{blog|34|2013|02|26}}
|{{book|1|50}}
|
|-
|[[File:Hair Dryer.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|35|Hair Dryer}}'''
|''"What would happen if a hair dryer with continuous power was turned on and put in an airtight 1x1x1 meter box?"''
|{{notice|Too technical}}The box would heat until the heat loss to the outside matches the maximum heat output of the hair dryer's wattage.
|{{blog|35|2013|03|05}}
|{{book|1|11}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cornstarch.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|36|Cornstarch}}'''
|''"How much cornstarch can I rinse down the drain before unpleasant things start to happen?"''
|
|{{blog|36|2013|03|12}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Supersonic Stereo.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|37|Supersonic Stereo}}'''
|''"What if you somehow managed to make a stereo travel at twice the speed of sound, would it sound backwards to someone who was just casually sitting somewhere as it flies by?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}Assuming the stereo is indestructible, yes.
|{{blog|37|2013|03|19}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:what if? Voyager.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|38|Voyager}}'''
|''"With today's technology, would it be possible to launch an unmanned mission to retrieve Voyager I?"''
|We could possibly spend a ton of money and resources to get a probe to Voyager. Getting it back is another story.
|{{blog|38|2013|03|26}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Hockey Puck.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|39|Hockey Puck}}'''
|''"How hard would a puck have to be shot to be able to knock the goalie himself backwards into the net?"''
|
|{{blog|39|2013|04|02}}
|{{book|1|24}}
|
|-
|[[File:Pressure Cooker.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|40|Pressure Cooker}}'''
|''"Am I right to be afraid of pressure cookers? What's the worst thing that can happen if you misuse a pressure cooker in an ordinary kitchen?"''
|
|{{blog|40|2013|04|9}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Go West.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|41|Go West}}'''
|''"If everybody in the US drove west, could we temporarily halt continental drift?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}Not even by a bit.
|{{blog|41|2013|04|16}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Longest Sunset.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|42|Longest Sunset}}'''
|''"What is the longest possible sunset you can experience while driving, assuming we are obeying the speed limit and driving on paved roads?"''
|{{notice|Explain more, what is the right place and time?}}95 minutes at the right place at the right time.
|{{blog|42|201304|23}}
|{{book|1|52}}
|
|-
|[[File:Train Loop.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|43|Train Loop}}'''
|''"Could a high-speed train run through a vertical loop, like a rollercoaster, with the passengers staying comfortable?"''
|No, not even if we change the requirements to just the passengers staying alive.
|{{blog|43|2013|04|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:High Throw.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|44|High Throw}}'''
|''"How high can a human throw something?"''
|
|{{blog|44|2013|05|07}}
|{{book|1|38}}
|
|-
|[[File:ISS Music Video.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|45|ISS Music Video}}'''
|''"Is [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaOC9danxNo '''this'''] the most expensive music video ever?"''
|
|{{blog|45|2013|05|14}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Bowling Ball.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|46|Bowling Ball}}'''
|''"I've been told that if the Earth were shrunk down to the size of a bowling ball, it would be smoother than said bowling ball. My question is, what would a bowling ball look like if it were blown up to the size of the Earth?"''
|The finger holes would collapse and then not much would happen.
|{{blog|46|2013|05|21}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Alien Astronomers.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|47|Alien Astronomers}}'''
|''"Let's assume there's life on the the nearest habitable exoplanet and that they have technology comparable to ours. If they looked at our star right now, what would they see?"''
|They would see pretty much nothing with regular telescopes. The detection could be possible with radio technology.
|{{blog|47|2013|05|28}}
|{{book|1|28}}
|
|-
|[[File:Sunset on the British Empire.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|48|Sunset on the British Empire}}'''
|''"When (if ever) did the Sun finally set on the British Empire?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}It hasn't set and likely won’t for thousands of years.
|{{blog|48|2013|06|04}}
|{{book|1|60}}
|
|-
|[[File:Sunless Earth.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|49|Sunless Earth}}'''
|''"What would happen to the Earth if the Sun suddenly switched off?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}We would see a variety of benefits across our lives but we would also freeze and die.
|{{blog|49|2013|06|11}}
|{{book|1|57}}
|
|-
|[[File:Extreme Boating.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|50|Extreme Boating}}'''
|''"What would it be like to navigate a rowboat through a lake of mercury? What about bromine? Liquid gallium? Liquid tungsten? Liquid nitrogen? Liquid helium?"''
|
|{{blog|50|2013|06|18}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Free Fall.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|51|Free Fall}}'''
|''"What place on Earth would allow you to freefall the longest by jumping off it? What about using a squirrel suit?"''
|
|{{blog|51|2013|06|25}}
|{{book|1|45}}
|
|-
|[[File:Bouncy Balls.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|52|Bouncy Balls}}'''
|''"What if one were to drop 3,000 bouncy balls from a seven story parking structure onto a person walking on the sidewalk below? Should the person survive, what would be the number of bouncy balls needed to kill them? What injuries would occur and what would the associated crimes be?"''
|Around 3,000,000 balls. Death would occur and you would be charged with manslaughter or murder.
|{{blog|52|2013|07|02}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Drain the Oceans.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|53|Drain the Oceans}}'''
|''"How quickly would the ocean's drain if a circular portal 10 meters in radius leading into space was created at the bottom of Challenger Deep, the deepest spot in the ocean? How would the Earth change as the water is being drained?"''
|
|{{blog|53|2013|07|09}}
|{{book|1|48}}
|{{book|12|2024|06|18|Jpy55EgMQgY|What if you drained the oceans?}}
|-
|[[File:Drain the Oceans Part II.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|54|Drain the Oceans: Part II}}'''
|''"Supposing you did '''{{what if|53|Drain the Oceans}}''', and dumped the water on top of the Curiosity rover, how would Mars change as the water accumulated?"''
|
|{{blog|54|2013|07|16}}
|{{book|1|49}}
|{{book|14|2024|08|13|FkUNHhVbQ1Q|What if we teleported the oceans to Mars?}}
|-
|[[File:Random Sneeze Call.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|55|Random Sneeze Call}}'''
|''"If you call a random phone number and say "God bless you", what are the chances that the person who answers just sneezed? On average, not just in spring or fall."''
|{{notice|Why?}}The chances are 1 in 40000.
|{{blog|55|2013|07|23}}
|{{book|1|53}}
|
|-
|[[File:Restraining an Airplane.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|56|Restraining an Airplane}}'''
|''"If you wanted to anchor an airplane into the ground so it wouldn't be able to take off, what would the rope have to be made out of?"''
|
|{{blog|56|2013|07|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Dropping a Mountain.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|57|Dropping a Mountain}}'''
|''"What if a huge mountain—Denali, say—had the bottom inch of its base disappear? What would happen from the impact of the mountain falling 1 inch? What about 1 foot? What if the mountain's base were raised to the present height of the summit, and then the whole thing were allowed to drop to the earth?"''
|
|{{blog|57|2013|08|06}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="3" |[[File:Orbital Speed.png|100px]]
| rowspan="3" |'''{{what if|58|Orbital Speed}}'''
|''"What if a spacecraft slowed down on re-entry to just a few miles per hour using rocket boosters like the Mars-sky-crane? Would it negate the need for a heat shield?"''
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3"{{blog|58|2013|08|12|1d early}}
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|43}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
|''"Is it possible for a spacecraft to control its reentry in such a way that it avoids the atmospheric compression and thus would not require the expensive (and relatively fragile) heat shield on the outside?"''
|-
|''"Could a (small) rocket (with payload) be lifted to a high point in the atmosphere where it would only need a small rocket to get to escape velocity?"''
|-
|[[File:Updating a Printed Wikipedia.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|59|Updating a Printed Wikipedia}}'''
|''"If you had a printed version of the whole of (say, the English) Wikipedia, how many printers would you need in order to keep up with the changes made to the live version?"''
|6, but they would cost much more than you could afford and filing would be a nightmare.
|{{blog|59|2013|08|20|1d late}}
|{{book|1|34}}
|{{book|13|2024|7|9|RgBYohJ7mIk|What if you tried to print Wikipedia?}}
|-
|[[File:Signs of Life.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|60|Signs of Life}}'''
|''"If you could teleport to a random place of the surface of the Earth, what are the odds that you'll see signs of intelligent life?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}70% of the time you would end up in the ocean.
|{{blog|60|2013|08|27}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Speed Bump.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|61|Speed Bump}}'''
|''"How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}Surprisingly fast, but beware destroying the city, and fines.
|{{blog|61|2013|09|03}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Falling With Helium.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|62|Falling With Helium}}'''
|''"What if I jumped out of an airplane with a couple of tanks of helium and one huge, un-inflated balloon? Then, while falling, I release the helium and fill the balloon. How long of a fall would I need in order for the balloon to slow me enough that I could land safely?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}2500 cubic feet.
|{{blog|62|2013|09|10}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Google's Datacenters on Punch Cards.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|63|Google's Datacenters on Punch Cards}}'''
|''"If all digital data were stored on punch cards, how big would Google's data warehouse be?"''
|{{notice|How thick would the layer be? Explain}}Big enough to bury the world many times.
|{{blog|63|2013|09|17}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Rising Steadily.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|64|Rising Steadily}}'''
|''"If you suddenly began rising steadily at one foot per second, how exactly would you die? Would you freeze or suffocate first? Or something else?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}Assuming you had a good coat, you would survive to the death zone and die.
|{{blog|64|2013|09|24}}
|{{book|1|15}}
|
|-
|[[File:Twitter Timeline Height.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|65|Twitter Timeline Height}}'''
|''"If our Twitter timelines (tweets by the people we follow) actually extended off the screen in both directions, how tall would they be?"''
|
|{{blog|65|2013|10|01}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:500 MPH.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|66|500 MPH}}'''
|''"If winds reached 500 mph, would it pick up a human?"''
|
|{{blog|66|2013|10|08}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Expanding Earth.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|67|Expanding Earth}}'''
|''"How long would it take for people to notice their weight gain if the mean radius of the world expanded by 1cm every second? (Assuming the average composition of rock were maintained.)"''
|{{notice|Too short}}10 years, give or take.
|{{blog|67|2013|10|15}}
|{{book|1|55}}
|{{book|17|2024|10|15|-1-ldW4kpLM|What if Earth grew 1cm every second?}}
|-
|[[File:Little Planet.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|68|Little Planet}}'''
|''"If an asteroid was very small but supermassive, could you really live on it like the Little Prince?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}Yes, but it would be very inconvenient.
|{{blog|68|2013|10|22}}
|{{book|1|21}}
|
|-
|[[File:Facebook of the Dead.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|69|Facebook of the Dead}}'''
|''"When, if ever, will Facebook contain more profiles of dead people than of living ones?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}A decade or a century, depending on if Facebook would still be popular.
|{{blog|69|2013|10|29}}
|{{book|1|59}}
|
|-
|[[File:The Constant Groundskeeper.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|70|The Constant Groundskeeper}}'''
|''"How big of a lawn would you have to have so that when you finished mowing you'd need to start over because the grass has grown?"''
|
|{{blog|70|2013|11|05}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Stirring Tea.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|71|Stirring Tea}}'''
|''"I was absentmindedly stirring a cup of hot tea, when I got to thinking, "aren't I actually adding kinetic energy into this cup?" I know that stirring does help to cool down the tea, but what if I were to stir it faster? Would I be able to boil a cup of water by stirring?"''
|
|{{blog|71|2013|11|12}}
|{{book|1|61}}
|
|-
|[[File:Loneliest Human.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|72|Loneliest Human}}'''
|''"What is the furthest one human being has ever been from every other living person? Were they lonely?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}Possibly the Apollo Astronauts but they definitely weren't lonely.
|{{blog|72|2013|11|19}}
|{{book|1|63}}
|
|-
|[[File:Lethal Neutrinos.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|73|Lethal Neutrinos}}'''
|''"How close would you have to be to a supernova to get a lethal dose of neutrino radiation?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}About 2.3 AU.
|{{blog|73|2013|11|26}}
|{{book|1|39}}
|
|-
|[[File:Soda Planet.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|74|Soda Planet}}'''
|''"How much of the Earth's currently-existing water has ever been turned into a soft drink at some point in its history?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}0.0000005%.
|{{blog|74|2013|12|03}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Phone Keypad.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|75|Phone Keypad}}'''
|''"I use one of those old phones where you type with numbers—for example, to type "Y", you press 9 three times. Some words have consecutive letters on the same number. When they do, you have to pause between letters, making those words annoying to type. What English word has the most consecutive letters on the same key?"''
|{{notice|Explain how we got to this one}}"Nonmonogamous".
|{{blog|75|2013|12|10}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Reading Every Book.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|76|Reading Every Book}}'''
|''"At what point in human history were there too many (English) books to be able to read them all in one lifetime?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}Depends, as many were burned.
|{{blog|76|2013|12|17}}
|{{book|2|10}}
|
|-
|[[File:Growth Rate.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|77|Growth Rate}}'''
|''"What height would humans reach if we kept growing through our whole development period (i.e. till late teens/early twenties) at the same pace as we do during our first month?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}10 to 12 meters.
|{{blog|77|2013|12|31|7d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:T-rex Calories.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|78|T-rex Calories}}'''
|''"If a T-rex were released in New York City, how many humans/day would it need to consume to get its needed calorie intake?"''
|One large-sized one or two small-sized ones per day.
|{{blog|78|2014|01|07}}
|{{book|2|7}}
|
|-
|[[File:Lake Tea.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|79|Lake Tea}}'''
|''"What if we were to dump all the tea in the world into the Great Lakes? How strong, compared to a regular cup of tea, would the lake tea be?"''
|{{notice|Why?}}Not strong enough to make a difference.
|{{blog|79|2014|01|14}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Pile of Viruses.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|80|Pile of Viruses}}'''
|''"What if every virus in the world were collected into one area? How much volume would they take up and what would they look like?"''
|
|{{blog|80|2014|01|21}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Catch!.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|81|Catch!}}'''
|''"Is there any way to fire a gun so that the bullet flies through the air and can then be safely caught by hand? e.g. shooter is at sea level and catcher is up a mountain at the extreme range of the gun."''
|
|{{blog|81|2014|01|28}}
|{{book|2|12}}
|
|-
|[[File:Hitting a comet.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|82|Hitting a comet}}'''
|''"Astrophysicists are always saying things like "This mission to this comet is equivalent to throwing a baseball from New York and hitting a particular window in San Francisco." Are they really equivalent?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}The baseball is much harder.
|{{blog|82|2014|02|05|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Star Sand.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|83|Star Sand}}'''
|''"If you made a beach using grains the proportionate size of the stars in the Milky Way, what would that beach look like?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}It would be a bunch of boulders with some patches of sand.
|{{blog|83|2014|02|11|1d early}}
|{{book|2|16}}
|
|-
|[[File:Paint the Earth.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|84|Paint the Earth}}'''
|''"Has humanity produced enough paint to cover the entire land area of the Earth?"''
|No, only about as much as the land area of Russia.
|{{blog|84|2014|02|18}}
|{{book|2|14}}
|
|-
|[[File:Rocket Golf.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|85|Rocket Golf}}'''
|''"Assuming that you have a spaceship in orbit around the Earth, could you propel your ship to speeds exceeding escape velocity by hitting golf balls in the other direction? If so, how many golf balls would be required to reach the Moon?"''
|{{notice|"If you cheat"?}}If you cheat, a bag a little smaller than the Moon.
|{{blog|85|2014|02|25}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Far-Traveling Objects.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|86|Far-Traveling Objects}}'''
|''"In terms of human-made objects, has Voyager 1 travelled the farthest distance? It's certainly the farthest from Earth we know about. But what about the edge of ultracentrifuges, or generator turbines that have been running for years, for example?"''
|{{notice|How much? Explain}}The Mariner 1 has traveled much farther than Voyager 1.
|{{blog|86|2014|03|04}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Enforced by Radar.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|87|Enforced by Radar}}'''
|''"I've occasionally seen "radar enforced" on speed limit signs, and I can't help but ask: How intense would radio waves have to be to stop a car from going over the speed limit, and what would happen if this were attempted?"''
|Intense enough to cause a medium sized nuclear explosion. Better to just carry a sign.
|{{blog|87|2014|03|11}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Soda Sequestration.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|88|Soda Sequestration}}'''
|''"How much CO2 is contained in the world's stock of bottled fizzy drinks? How much soda would be needed to bring atmospheric CO2 back to preindustrial levels?"''
|Enough soda to cover Earth with ten layers of cans.
|{{blog|88|2014|03|18}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Tungsten Countertop.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|89|Tungsten Countertop}}'''
|''"How far would a tungsten countertop descend if I dropped it into the Sun?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}It would be vapourized before it got close to the Sun.
|{{blog|89|2014|03|25}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Great Tree, Great Axe.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|90|Great Tree, Great Axe}}'''
|''"If all the seas were one sea,''
''What a great sea that would be!''
''If all the trees were one tree,''
''What a great tree that would be!''
''If all the men were one man,''
''What a great man that would be!''
''If all the axes were one axe,''
''What a great axe that would be!''
''And if the great man took the great axe,''
''And cut down the great tree,''
''And let if fall into the great sea,''
''What a great splish-splash that would be!''

''... How great would all of these things be?"''
|
|{{blog|90|2014|04|03|2d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Faucet Power.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|91|Faucet Power}}'''
|''"I just moved into a new apartment. It includes hot water but I have to pay the electric bill. So being a person on a budget ... what's the best way to use my free faucet to generate electricity?"''
|
|{{blog|91|2014|04|08|2d early}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:One-Second Day.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|92|One-Second Day}}'''
|''"What would happen if the Earth's rotation were sped up until a day only lasted one second?"''
|Everything on Earth would die, but if it happened when the Moon crosses the plane of the Earth, then everything in the Solar System will die (whether there is a difference is debatable).
|{{blog|92|2014|04|15}}
|{{book|2|21}}
|
|-
|[[File:Windshield Raindrops.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|93|Windshield Raindrops}}'''
|''"At what speed would you have to drive for rain to shatter your windshield?"''
|Fast enough so you would need a speedometer in scientific notation.
|{{blog|93|2014|04|22}}
|{{book|1|65}}
|
|-
|[[File:Billion-Story Building.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|94|Billion-Story Building}}'''
|''"My daughter — age 4.5 — maintains she wants a billion-story building. It turns out not only is that hard to help her appreciate this size, I am not at all able to explain all of the other difficulties you'd have to overcome."''
|First of all, it would not stand under its own weight. Also, it would be many times the distance the Earth is from the Moon.
|{{blog|94|2014|04|29}}
|{{book|2|22}}
|
|-
|[[File:Pyramid Energy.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|95|Pyramid Energy}}'''
|''"What took more energy, the building of the Great Pyramid of Giza or the Apollo Mission? If we could convert the energy to build the Great Pyramid, would it be enough to send a rocket to the Moon and back?"''
|
|{{blog|95|2014|05|06}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:$2 Undecillion Lawsuit.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|96|$2 Undecillion Lawsuit}}'''
|''"What if Au Bon Pain lost '''[http://www.loweringthebar.net/2014/05/2-undecillion-dollar-demand.html this lawsuit]''' and had to pay the plaintiff $2 undecillion?"''
|They would not be able to pay off the debt, even if they forced humanity to work as slaves from now until the stars die.
|{{blog|96|2014|05|14|1d late}}
|{{book|2|23}}
|
|-
|[[File:Burning Pollen.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|97|Burning Pollen}}'''
|''"What if you were to somehow ignite the pollen that floats around in the air in spring? Other than being a really bad idea, what effect would it have?"''
|It would just warm up the air by a bit.
|{{blog|97|2014|05|20|1d early}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Blood Alcohol.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|98|Blood Alcohol}}'''
|''"Could you get drunk from drinking a drunk person's blood?"''
|
|{{blog|98|2014|05|27}}
|{{book|2|42}}
|
|-
|[[File:Starlings.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|99|Starlings}}'''
|''"I was watching '''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eakKfY5aHmY this video]''' and was wondering: How many birds there would need to be for gravity to take over and force them into a gargantuan ball of birds?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}Enough to make a black hole.
|{{blog|99|2014|06|03}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:WWII Films.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|100|WWII Films}}'''
|''"Did WWII last longer than the total length of movies about WWII? For that matter, which war has the highest movie time:war time ratio?"''
|
|{{blog|100|2014|06|11|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Plastic Dinosaurs.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|101|Plastic Dinosaurs}}'''
|''"As plastic is made from oil and oil is made from dead dinosaurs, how much actual real dinosaur is there in a plastic dinosaur?"''
|
|{{blog|101|2014|06|18}}
|{{book|2|26}}
|
|-
|[[File:Keyboard Power.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|102|Keyboard Power}}'''
|''"As a writer, I'm wondering what would be the cumulative energy of the hundreds of thousands of keystrokes required to write a novel."''
|{{notice|Too short}}Less than enough energy to microwave a burrito.
|{{blog|102|2014|06|25}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Vanishing Water.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|103|Vanishing Water}}'''
|''"What would happen if all the bodies of water on Earth magically disappeared?"''
|
|{{blog|103|2014|07|02}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Global Snow.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|104|Global Snow}}'''
|''"From my seven-year-old son: How many snowflakes would it take to cover the entire world in six feet of snow? (I don't know why six feet...but that's what he asked.)"''
|
|{{blog|104|2014|07|09}}
|{{book|2|59}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cannibalism.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|105|Cannibalism}}'''
|''"How long could the human race survive on only cannibalism?"''
|Depends, if you’re the only one trying out this new diet, maybe a week before you get caught. If the entire world brooms in, about 32 months.
|{{blog|105|2014|07|16}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Ink Molecules.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|106|Ink Molecules}}'''
|''"Suppose you were to print, in 12 point text, the numeral 1 using a common cheap ink-jet printer. How many molecules of the ink would be used? At what numerical value would the number printed approximately equal the number of ink molecules used?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}An 18-digit number.
|{{blog|106|2014|07|23}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Letter to Mom.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|107|Letter to Mom}}'''
|''"What’s the fastest way to get a hand-written letter from my place in Chicago to my mother in New Jersey?"''
|
|{{blog|107|2014|07|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Expensive Shoebox.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|108|Expensive Shoebox}}'''
|''"What would be the most expensive way to fill a size 11 shoebox (e.g. with 64 GB MicroSD cards all full of legally purchased music)?"''
|{{notice|A little too vague.}}There are many options (precious materials, hard drugs, physical file storage, etc.), but they all cap out at ~$2,000,000,000.
|{{blog|108|2014|08|13|7d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Into the Blue.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|109|Into the Blue}}'''
|''"If I shot an infinitely strong laser beam into the sky at a random point, how much damage would it do?"''
|Most of the time it would not hit anything.
|{{blog|109|2014|08|20}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Walking New York.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|110|Walking New York}}'''
|''"Could a person walk the entire city of NY in their lifetime? (including inside apartments)"''
|{{notice|Too short}}Yes, but you'd end up in prison.
|{{blog|110|2014|08|27}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:All the Money.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|111|All the Money}}'''
|''"People sometimes say "If I had all the money in the world ..." in order to discuss what they would do if they had no financial constraints. I'm curious, though, what would happen if one person had all of the world's money?"''
|The only thing to do would be to make a swimming pool, as it is unlikely anybody else would agree with your claims to all the money and property.
|{{blog|111|2014|09|02|1d early}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Balloon Car.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|112|Balloon Car}}'''
|''"My 12-year-old daughter is proposing an interesting project. She is planning to attach a number of helium balloons to a chair, which in turn would be tethered by means of a rope to a Ferrari. Her 13-year-old friend would then drive the Ferrari around, while she sits in the chair enjoying uninterrupted views of the countryside. Leaving aside the legal and insurance difficulties, my daughter is keen to know the maximum speed that she could expect to attain, and how many helium balloons would be required."''
|A balloon just big enough to lift you would be pushed down by the wind, and a balloon big enough to counteract that would lift up the car along with you. The way to achieve this result is [https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=parasailing parasailing].
|{{blog|112|2014|09|17|8d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Visit Every State.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|113|Visit Every State}}'''
|''"How fast could you visit all 50 states?"''
|In just over 6 hours, in 5 satellite orbits.
|{{blog|113|2014|09|24}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Antimatter.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|114|Antimatter}}'''
|''"What if everything was antimatter, EXCEPT Earth?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}Our existence would end, but much slower than in most other situations, from outer-space gas and meteorites.
|{{blog|114|2014|10|01}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Into the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|115|Into the Sun}}'''
|''"When I was about 8 years old, shoveling snow on a freezing day in Colorado, I wished that I could be instantly transported to the surface of the Sun, just for a nanosecond, then instantly transported back. I figured this would be long enough to warm me up but not long enough to harm me. What would actually happen?"''
|You would not be warmed if you went to the surface. The core, on the other hand, would vaporize you.
|{{blog|115|2014|10|08}}
|{{book|2|61}}
|{{book|15|2024|09|03|UXA-Af-JeCE|Could you survive a nanosecond on the Sun?}}
|-
|[[File:No-Rules NASCAR.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|116|No-Rules NASCAR}}'''
|''"If you stripped away all the rules of car racing and had a contest which was simply to get a human being around a track 200 times as fast as possible, what strategy would win? Let's say the racer has to survive."''
|If the rider has to survive, 90 minutes is the limit based on human G-force tolerances. If survival is not a priority, you'd build a particle accelerator.
|{{blog|116|2014|10|15}}
|{{book|2|35}}
|{{book|3|2023|12|19|JcXpCyPc2Xw|What if NASCAR had no rules?}}
|-
|[[File:Distant Death.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|117|Distant Death}}'''
|''"What is the farthest from Earth that any Earth thing has died?"''
|The farthest that any human has died is about 167 kilometers. In terms of any living thing, however, bacterial spores on Voyager 1 are dying every few months, setting a new record each time.
|{{blog|117|2014|10|23|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Physical Salary.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|118|Physical Salary}}'''
|''"What if people's incomes appeared around them as cash in real time? How much would you need to make to be in real trouble?"''
|{{notice|This is obvious. Explain both scenarios.}}A normal person would not get buried. A CEO, on the other hand, would be in trouble.
|{{blog|118|2014|10|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Laser Umbrella.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|119|Laser Umbrella}}'''
|''"Stopping rain from falling on something with an umbrella or a tent is boring. What if you tried to stop rain with a laser that targeted and vaporized each incoming droplet before it could come within ten feet of the ground?"''
|It would be very complicated, not worth it, and would probably catch everything around you on fire.
|{{blog|119|2014|11|13|7d late}}
|
|{{book|6|2024|02|20|zgBTwtg7H8E|Could you make an umbrella out of lasers?}}
|-
|[[File:Alternate Universe What Ifs.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|120|Alternate Universe What Ifs}}'''
|''"Dispatches from a horrifying alternate universe"''
|
|{{blog|120|2014|11|20}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Frozen Rivers.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|121|Frozen Rivers}}'''
|''"What would happen if all of the rivers in the US were instantly frozen in the middle of the summer?"''
|{{notice|Explain more.}}Every river in the US would flood, but we'd probably be fine.
|{{blog|121|2014|12|11}} 14d late)
|
|
|-
|[[File:Lava Lamp.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|122|Lava Lamp}}'''
|''"What if I made a lava lamp out of real lava? What could I use as a clear medium? How close could I stand to watch it?"''
|{{notice|Why too bight? How quickly? Explain.}}It would be too bright to watch and it would turn into rock quickly.
|{{blog|122|2014|12|18}}
|{{book|2|40}}
|
|-
|[[File:Fairy Demographics.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|123|Fairy Demographics}}'''
|''"How many fairies would fly around, if each fairy is born from the first laugh of a child and fairies were immortal?"''
|They would have the same birth rate as humans, and they would become a major part of the ecosystem.
|{{blog|123|2015|01|01|7d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Lunar Swimming.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|124|Lunar Swimming}}'''
|''"What if there was a lake on the Moon? What would it be like to swim in it? Presuming that it is sheltered in a regular atmosphere, in some giant dome or something."''
|It would be super-cool, given that lower gravity would increase the size of splashes and the height of jumps.
|{{blog|124|2015|01|08}}
|
|{{book|20|2024|12|24|aIIBBj6KR-Y|What if we put a pool on the moon?}}
|-
|[[File:Bowling Ball 2.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|125|Bowling Ball}}'''
|''"You are in a boat directly over the Mariana Trench. If you drop a 7kg bowling ball over the side, how long would it take to hit the bottom?"''
|{{notice|Why 2h 20m?}}Two hours and 20 minutes.
|{{blog|125|2015|01|15}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Stairs (What If?).png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|126|Stairs}}'''

|''"If you made an elevator that would go to space (like the one you mentioned in the '''{{what if|94|billion-story building}}''') and built a staircase up (assuming regulated air pressure) about how long would it take to climb to the top?"''
|{{notice|Why and how?}}A week or two.
|{{blog|126|2015|01|22}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Tug of War.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|127|Tug of War}}'''
|''"Would it be possible for two teams in a tug-o-war to overcome the ultimate tensile strength of an iron rod and pull it apart? How big would the teams have to be?"''
|
|{{blog|127|2015|01|28|1d early}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Zippo Phone.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|128|Zippo Phone}}'''
|''"What in my pocket actually contains more energy, my Zippo or my smartphone? What would be the best way of getting the energy from one to the other? And since I am already feeling like Bilbo in this one, is there anything else in my pocket that would have unexpected amounts of stored energy?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}The Zippo has more energy than your phone, but your hand would have even more.
|{{blog|128|2015|02|05|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Black Hole Moon.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|129|Black Hole Moon}}'''
|''"What would happen if the Moon were replaced with an equivalently-massed black hole? If it's possible, what would a lunar ("holar"?) eclipse look like?"''
|It would not have a big impact unless it happened during the space age.
|{{blog|129|2015|02|12}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Snow Removal.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|130|Snow Removal}}'''
|''"I've long thought about putting a flamethrower on the front of a car to melt snow and ice before you drive across it. Now I've realized that a flamethrower is impractical, but what about a high-powered microwave emitter?"''
|
|{{blog|130|2015|02|19}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Microwaves.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|131|Microwaves}}'''
|''"I have had a particular problem for as long as I can remember. Any time I attempt to heat left over Chinese food in a microwave, it fails to heat completely through somewhere. Usually the center but not always and usually rice, but often it will be a small section of meat. It's baffling and has made me automatically adjust heating times to over 2 minutes. In most cases this tends to heat the bowl or plate more than the food. So I suppose the question is what is the optimal time to heat left over Chinese food in the microwave, how about an 800 watt microwave?"''
|
|{{blog|131|2015|02|27|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Hotter than Average.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|132|Hotter than Average}}'''
|''"I saw a sign at a hot springs tub saying "Caution: Water is hotter than average" with water at about 39°C. Although they were presumably trying to say "hotter than the average swimming pool," this got me wondering: What is the average temperature of all water on the Earth’s surface, and how does that temperature compare to 39°C?"''
|{{notice|Explain, what's a water average?}}There is a water average. Give the signmakers some credit.
|{{blog|132|2015|03|07|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Flagpole.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|133|Flagpole}}'''
|''"So, you're falling from a height above the tallest building in your town, and you don't have a parachute. But wait! Partway down the side of that skyscraper there's a flagpole sticking out, sans flag! You angle your descent and grab the pole just long enough to swing around so that when you let go you're now heading back up toward the sky. As gravity slows you and brings you to a halt, you reach the top of the skyscraper, where you reach out and pull yourself to safety. What's the likelihood this could happen?"''
|
|{{blog|133|2015|03|17|3d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Space Burial.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|134|Space Burial}}'''
|''"I've often joked I'd like to have my remains put into orbit. Not in a "scatter my ashes" sense, but, like, "throw my naked corpse out the airlock" sense. Honestly, my main motivation is to baffle someone in the distant future, but it's an interesting scientific question: what would happen to my body in orbit over the course of years, decades or centuries?"''
|
|{{blog|134|2015|03|28|4d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Digging Downward.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|135|Digging Downward}}'''
|''"What would happen if I dug straight down, at a speed of 1 foot per second? What would kill me first?"''
|
|{{blog|135|2015|04|05|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Spiders vs. the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|136|Spiders vs. the Sun}}'''
|''"Which has a greater gravitational pull on me: the Sun, or spiders? Granted, the Sun is much bigger, but it is also much further away, and as I learned in high school physics, the gravitational force is proportional to the square of the distance."''
|The Sun. But spiders are a lot more scary.
|{{blog|136|2015|04|12}}
|{{book|2|44}}
|
|-
|[[File:New Horizons.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|137|New Horizons}}'''
|''"What if New Horizons hits my car?"''
|
|{{blog|137|2015|07|14|2m 25d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Jupiter Submarine.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|138|Jupiter Submarine}}'''
|''"What if you released a submarine into Jupiter's atmosphere? Would it eventually reach a point where it would float? Could it navigate?"''
|
|{{blog|138|2015|07|28|7d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Jupiter Descending.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|139|Jupiter Descending}}'''
|''"If you did '''{{what if|138|fall into Jupiter's atmosphere in a submarine}}''', what would it actually look like? What would you see before you melted or burned up?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}You would see... brown.
|{{blog|139|2015|08|04}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Proton Earth, Electron Moon.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|140|Proton Earth, Electron Moon}}'''
|''"What if the Earth were made entirely of protons, and the Moon were made entirely of electrons?"''
|
|{{blog|140|2015|09|18|1m 7d late}}
|{{book|2|48}}
|
|-
|[[File:Sunbeam.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|141|Sunbeam}}'''
|''"What if all of the sun's output of visible light were bundled up into a laser-like beam that had a diameter of around 1m once it reaches Earth?"''
|
|{{blog|141|2016|01|12|3m 18d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Space Jetta.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|142|Space Jetta}}'''
|''"What if I tried to re-enter the atmosphere in my car? (a 2000 VW Jetta TDI). Would it do more environmental damage than it is already apparently doing?"''
|Actually, it would be more clean than it is currently!
|{{blog|142|2016|01|20|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Europa Water Siphon.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|143|Europa Water Siphon}}'''
|''"What if you built a siphon from the oceans on Europa to Earth? Would it flow once it's set up? (We have an idea for selling bottled Europa water.)"''
|{{notice|Too short}}No, at least not with a siphon.
|{{blog|143|2016|01|26|1d early}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Saliva Pool.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|144|Saliva Pool}}'''
|''"How long would it take for a single person to fill up an entire swimming pool with their own saliva?"''
|{{notice|Too short. Why? How?}}It would take them 8345 years.
|{{blog|144|2016|02|02}}
|{{book|2|53}}
|
|-
|[[File:Fire From Moonlight.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|145|Fire From Moonlight}}'''
|''"Can you use a magnifying glass and moonlight to light a fire?"''
|
|{{blog|145|2016|02|09}}
|{{book|2|51}}
|
|-
|[[File:Stop Jupiter.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|146|Stop Jupiter}}'''
|''"I understand that the ''New Horizons'' craft used gravity assist from Jupiter to increase its speed on the way to Pluto. I also understand that by doing this, Jupiter slowed down very slightly. How many flyby runs would it take to stop Jupiter completely?"''
|{{notice|Why?}}This can never happen, even if we were to throw Earth at Jupiter.
|{{blog|146|2016|02|16}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Niagara Straw.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|147|Niagara Straw}}'''
|''"What would happen if one tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a straw?"''
|{{notice|Too short, last part.}}The International Niagara Committee, the International Niagara Board of Control, the International Joint Commission, the International Niagara Board Working Committee, and probably the Great Lakes–St. Lawrence River Adaptive Management Committee would get angry. The Earth would also be destroyed.
|{{blog|147|2016|02|26}} 3d late)
|{{book|2|55}}
|
|-
|[[File:Eat the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|148|Eat the Sun}}'''
|''"What percentage of the Sun's heat (per day) does the population of Earth eat in calories per year? What changes could be made to our diets for the amount of calories to equal the energy of the Sun?"''
|
|{{blog|148|2016|03|12|8d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Pizza Bird.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|149|Pizza Bird}}'''
|''"My boyfriend recently took a flight on a plane with wifi, and while he was up there, wistfully asked if I could send him a pizza. I jokingly sent him a photo of a parrot holding a pizza slice in its beak. Obviously, my boyfriend had to go without pizza until he landed at JFK. But this raised the question: could a bird deliver a standard 20" New York-style cheese pizza in a box? And if so, what kind of bird would it take?"''
|
|{{blog|149|2016|03|26|7d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Tatooine Rainbow.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|150|Tatooine Rainbow}}'''
|''"Since rainbows are caused by the refraction of the sunlight by tiny droplets of rainwater, what would rainbow look like on Earth if we had two suns like Tatooine?"''
|
|{{blog|150|2016|05|23|1m 21d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Sun Bug.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|151|Sun Bug}}'''
|''"How many fireflies would it take to match the brightness of the Sun?"''
|
|{{blog|151|2016|07|21|1m 23d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Flood Death Valley.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|152|Flood Death Valley}}'''
|''"Since Death Valley is below sea level could we dig a hole to the ocean and fill it up with water?"''
|
|{{blog|152|2016|10|18|2m 21d late}}
|
|
|-
|''This blog article has been deleted.''
Blog article published 'by accident', then deleted and superseded. [[what if? (blog)#top|Learn more]]'''
|'''Peptides'''
|''"What is the longest English word you can spell using the one letter abbreviations of the 20 genetic amino acids? What about the three letter abbreviations? What would the resultant peptides look like?"''
|
|{{blog|153|2016|12|05|archiveOnly=https://web.archive.org/web/20161205191559/http://what-if.xkcd.com/153}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Hide the Atmosphere.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|153|Hide the Atmosphere}}'''
|''"Earth’s atmosphere is really thin compared to the radius of the Earth. How big a hole do I need to dig before people suffocate?"''
|The hole would need to be very big. Under the right circumstances, a five-mile hole over the entire state of Texas might suffice.
|{{blog|153|2017|01|30|3m 5d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Coast-to-Coast Coasting.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|154|Coast-to-Coast Coasting}}'''
|''"What if the entire continental US was on a decreasing slope from West to East. How steep would the slope have to be to sustain the momentum needed to ride a bicycle the entire distance without pedaling?"''
|The ramp would need to be five miles high (eight kilometres) to make this possible, and that would be at a speed slower than walking. You would also need oxygen for the first third of the way down.
|{{blog|154|2017|02|08|9d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Toaster vs. Freezer.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|155|Toaster vs. Freezer}}'''
|''"Would a toaster still work in a freezer?"''
|
|{{blog|155|2017|02|28|13d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Electrofishing for Whales.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|156|Electrofishing for Whales}}'''
|''"I used to work on a fisheries crew where we would use an electro-fisher backpack to momentarily stun small fish (30 - 100 mm length) so we could scoop them up with nets to identify and measure them. The larger fish tended to be stunned for slightly longer because of their larger surface area but I don't imagine this relationship would be maintained for very large animals. Could you electrofish for a blue whale? At what voltage would you have have to set the e-fisher?"''
|Electrofishing has long-term effects on fish and especially dolphins. Larger animals, especially mammals, are likely to die rather than just get stunned. But it is also harder to get any effect in saltwater, which explains why electrofishing is mainly done in rivers and lakes, compared to fresh water. This means it wouldn't work on blue whales.
|{{blog|156|2017|03|09|2d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Earth-Moon Fire Pole.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|157|Earth-Moon Fire Pole}}'''
|''"My son (5y) asked me today: If there were a kind of a fireman's pole from the Moon down to the Earth, how long would it take to slide all the way from the Moon to the Earth?"''
|This set-up would face many challenges, but these would be the different domains of the slowest extreme sport: climbing out of the Moon's gravity, accelerating through the middle transfer phase, and then decelerating to your supersonic arrival on Earth.
|{{blog|157|2018|03|21|1y 2m 5d late}}
|{{book|2|58}}
|
|-
|[[File:Hot Banana.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|158|Hot Banana}}'''
|''"I heard that bananas are radioactive. If they are radioactive, then they radiate energy. How many bananas would you need to power a house?"''
|Bananas are not very radioactive, so it would take an absurdly large number. However, gathering that many bananas in one place would have negative consequences. New York no longer exists.
|{{blog|158|2022|05|04|3y 11m 7d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Hailstones.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|159|Hailstones}}'''
|''"My 4 year old son and I were wondering about soccer ball sized hail today. How much damage would a hail storm with size 5 soccer ball sized hail do?"''
|There's no real chance of producing that big hail stones, but if they could be lethal even if staying indoors.
|{{blog|159|2022|07|05|1m 30d late}}
|
|
|-
|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{what if|160|Transatlantic Car Rental}}'''
|''"My daughter recently received her driver's permit in the US, and aspires to visit mainland Europe someday. She has learned enough about the rules of the road to know never to drive into the ocean; however, she jokingly suggested that given a sufficient quantity of rental cars, she could eventually get to Europe by driving east repeatedly. The question is, how many vehicles would it take to build a car-bridge across the Atlantic?"''
|
|{{blog|160|2022|09|06|1m 26d late}}
|
|
|-
|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{what if|161|Star Ownership}}'''
|''"If every country's airspace extended up forever, which country would own the largest percentage of the galaxy at any given time?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}Australia owns most of the galaxy at certain points in time.
|{{blog|161|2022|11|01|1m 19d late}}
|
|
|-
|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{what if|162|Comet Ice}}'''
|''"Could I cool down the Earth by capturing a comet and dropping it in the ocean, like an ice cube in a glass of water?"''
|{{notice|Too short}}The comet either burns up in the atmosphere or speeds up global warming.
|{{blog|162|2022|12|06|29d late}}
|
|
|-
|
|'''Global Windstorm'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|1}}
|{{book|4|2024|01|09|gp5G1QG6cXc|What if Earth suddenly stopped spinning?}}
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #1'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|4}}
|
|-
|
|'''New York–Style Time Machine'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|5}}
|
|-
|
|'''Periodic Wall of the Elements'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|8}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #2'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|12}}
|
|-
|
|'''The Last Human Light'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|13}}
|{{book|11|2024|05|28|8fADp43wJwU|If all humans died, when would the last light go out?}}
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #3'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|16}}
|
|-
|
|'''Orbital Submarine'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|17}}
|{{book|7|2024|03|05|EsUBRd1O2dU|Would a Submarine Work as a Spaceship?}}
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #4'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|20}}
|
|-
|
|'''Little Planet'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|22}}
|
|-
|
|'''Common Cold'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|25}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #5'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|27}}
|
|-
|
|'''No More DNA'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|29}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #6'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|31}}
|
|-
|
|'''Flyover States'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|33}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #7'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|36}}
|
|-
|
|'''Self-Fertilization'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|37}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #8'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|40}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lost Immortals'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|42}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #9'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|46}}
|
|-
|
|'''Sparta'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|47}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lego Bridge'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|51}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #10'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|54}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weightless Arrow'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|56}}
|
|-
|
|'''All the Lightning'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|62}}
|{{book|10|2024|05|07|fs28lEq9smw|What if all the lightning on Earth struck the same place at once?}}
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #11'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|64}}
|
|-
|
|'''Neutron Bullet'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|67}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #12'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|68}}
|
|-
|
|'''Richter 15'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|69}}
|{{book|2|2023|12|05|e3uk7jU3RHo|What would a magnitude 15 earthquake be like?}}
|-
|
|'''Soupiter'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|1}}
|
|-
|
|'''Helicopter Ride'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|2}}
|
|-
|
|'''Dangerously Cold'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|3}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ironic Vaporization'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|4}}
|
|-
|
|'''Cosmic Road Trip'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|5}}
|
|-
|
|'''Pigeon Chair'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|6}}
|
|-
|
|'''Short Answers #1'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|S1''' (between 6 and 7)}}
|
|-
|
|'''Geyser'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|8}}
|
|-
|
|'''Pew, Pew, Pew'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|9}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird & Worrying #1'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|W1''' (between 10 and 11)}}
|
|-
|
|'''Banana Church'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|11}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lose Weight the Slow and Incredibly Difficult Way'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|13}}
|
|-
|
|'''Jupiter Comes to Town'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|15}}
|
|-
|
|'''Swing Set'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|17}}
|
|-
|
|'''Airliner Catapult'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|18}}
|
|-
|
|'''Short Answers #2'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|S2''' (between 18 and 19)}}
|
|-
|
|'''Slow Dinosaur Apocalypse'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|19}}
|
|-
|
|'''Elemental Worlds'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|20}}
|
|-
|
|'''Star Ownership'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|24}}
|
|-
|
|'''Tire Rubber'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|25}}
|
|-
|
|'''Short Answers #3'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|S3''' (between 26 and 27)}}
|
|-
|
|'''Suction Aquarium'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|27}}
|
|-
|
|'''Earth Eye'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|28}}
|
|-
|
|'''Build Rome in a Day'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|29}}
|
|-
|
|'''Mariana Trench Tube'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|30}}
|
|-
|
|'''Expensive Shoebox'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|31}}
|
|-
|
|'''MRI Compass'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|32}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ancestor Fraction'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|33}}
|
|-
|
|'''Bird Car'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|34}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird & Worrying #2'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|W2''' (between 35 and 36)}}
|
|-
|
|'''Vacuum Tube Smartphone'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|36}}
|
|-
|
|'''Laser Umbrella'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|37}}
|
|-
|
|'''Eat a Cloud'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|38}}
|
|-
|
|'''Tall Sunsets'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|39}}
|
|-
|
|'''Sisyphean Refrigerators'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|41}}
|
|-
|
|'''Basketball Earth'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|43}}
|
|-
|
|'''Inhale a Person'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|45}}
|
|-
|
|'''Candy Crush Lightning'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|46}}
|
|-
|
|'''Short Answers #4'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|S4''' (between 46 and 47)}}
|
|-
|
|'''Toasty Warm'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|47}}
|
|-
|
|'''Eyeball'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|49}}
|
|-
|
|'''Japan Runs an Errand'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|50}}
|
|-
|
|'''Read All the Laws'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|52}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird & Worrying #3'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|W3''' (between 52 and 53)}}
|
|-
|
|'''Snowball'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|54}}
|
|-
|
|'''Walking Backward in Time'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|56}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ammonia Tube'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|57}}
|
|-
|
|'''Short Answers #5'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|S5''' (between 58 and 59)}}
|
|-
|
|'''Dog Overload'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|60}}
|
|-
|
|'''Sunscreen'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|62}}
|
|-
|
|'''Walking on the Sun'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|63}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lemon Drops and Gumdrops'''
|
|
|
|{{book|2|64}}
|
|-
|
|'''Bonus Chapter'''
|''"…but what if we tried even '''more''' power?"''
|
|
|{{book|3|70}}
|{{book|19|2024|12|03|jgafb8G7i4o|But what if we tried MORE power?}}
|-
|}

==Editors==
''[[#Article index|(jump back to table)]]''
===Add YouTube video===
<nowiki>{{book|YT-NUMBER|YYYY|MM|DD|</nowiki>'''''<nowiki>HTTPS://LINK</nowiki>'''''|VIDEO-TITLE}}
'''EXAMPLE:''' <nowiki>{{book|</nowiki>'''''2'''''|'''''2022'''''|'''''12'''''|'''''31'''''|'''''https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyNhb5Y'''''|'''''What if everyone pointed a laser at the moon?'''''}}

===Add book chapter===
For the first [[What If? (book)|What If? book]]:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki>'''''1'''''|'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''}}

For the second [[What If? 2]] book:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki>'''''2'''''|'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''}}

'''EXAMPLE:'''<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki>'''''2'''''|'''''69'''''}}

If an article is available exclusively on the third book ([[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition]]) and not in the first two, use this:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki>'''''3'''''|'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''}}<noinclude>

===Link to a ''what if?'' article===
On this wiki, an easy way to link to a given ''what if?'' article is by using the {{Template|what if}} template. Copy and paste the text below, correcting the number and title (highlighted in green) to get this result:

'''EXAMPLE:'''
See the <nowiki>''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|</nowiki><ins>'''''158'''''</ins>|<ins>'''''Hot Banana'''''</ins>}}''.
'''RESULTS IN:'''
See the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|158|Hot Banana}}''.

NOTE: Since the release are now so random, please write a comment on the newest comic's talk page announcing that a new what if? article is out.

==Old Table==
{{notice|<big>'''DO NOT EDIT THE TABLE BELOW. Use it to find the 2 missing What if? (first book) articles and add them to the new table [[What If? chapters#Article index|(as explained above)]]! The correct table to edit is above.'''.</big>}}

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Article title
! Title in the book
!Title on Youtube channel
! Blog number
! ''What If?'' chapter
! ''What If? 2'' chapter
|-
| Relativistic Baseball || || || 1 || 2 || || ||
|-
| SAT Guessing || || || 2 || 66 || || ||
|-
| Yoda || || || 3 || 32 || || ||
|-
| Mole of Moles || || || 4 || 10 || || ||
|-
| Robot Apocalypse || || || 5 || || || ||
|-
| Glass Half Empty || || || 6 || 26 || || ||
|-
| Everybody Out || || || 7 || 35 || || ||
|-
| Everybody Jump || || || 8 || 9 || || ||
|-
| Soul Mates || || || 9 || 6 || || ||
|-
| Cassini || || || 10 || || || ||
|-
| Droppings || || || 11 || || || ||
|-
| Raindrop || || || 12 || 65 || || ||
|-
| Laser Pointer || || || 13 || 7 || || ||
|-
| Short Answer Section || || || 14 || || || ||
|-
| Mariana Trench Explosion || || || 15 || || || ||
|-
| Today’s topic: Lightning || Lightning || || 16 || 19 || || ||
|-
| Green Cows || || || 17 || || || ||
|-
| BB Gun || || || 18 || || || ||
|-
| Tie Vote || || || 19 || || || ||
|-
| Diamond || || || 20 || || || ||
|-
| Machine-Gun Jetpack || || || 21 || 14 || || ||
|-
| Cost of Pennies || || || 22 || || || ||
|-
| Short Answer Section II || Short-Answer Section || || 23 || 18 || || ||
|-
| Model Rockets || || || 24 || || || ||
|-
| Three Wise Men || || || 25 || || || ||
|-
| Leap Seconds || || || 26 || || || ||
|-
| Death Rates || || || 27 || || || ||
|-
| Steak Drop || || || 28 || 23 || || ||
|-
| Spent Fuel Pool || || || 29 || 3 || || ||
|-
| Interplanetary Cessna || || || 30 || 30 || || ||
|-
| FedEx Bandwidth || || || 31 || 44 || || ||
|-
| Hubble || || || 32 || || || ||
|-
| Ships || || || 33 || || || ||
|-
| Twitter || || || 34 || 50 || || ||
|-
| Hair Dryer || || || 35 || 11 || || ||
|-
| Cornstarch || || || 36 || || || ||
|-
| Supersonic Stereo || || || 37 || || || ||
|-
| Voyager || || || 38 || || || ||
|-
| Hockey Puck || || || 39 || 24 || || ||
|-
| Pressure Cooker || |||| 40 || || || ||
|-
| Go West || || || 41 || || || ||
|-
| Longest Sunset || || || 42 || 52 || || ||
|-
| Train Loop || || || 43 || || || ||
|-
| High Throw || || || 44 || 38 || || ||
|-
| ISS Music Video || || || 45 || || || ||
|-
| Bowling Ball || || || 46 || || || ||
|-
| Alien Astronomers || || || 47 || 28 || || ||
|-
| Sunset on the British Empire || || || 48 || 60 || || ||
|-
| Sunless Earth || || || 49 || 57 || || ||
|-
| Extreme Boating || || || 50 || || || ||
|-
| Free Fall || || || 51 || 45 || || ||
|-
| Bouncy Balls || || || 52 || || || ||
|-
| Drain the Oceans || || || 53 || 48 || || ||
|-
| Drain the Oceans: Part II || || || 54 || 49 || || ||
|-
| Random Sneeze Call || || || 55 || 53 || || ||
|-
| Restraining an Airplane || || || 56 || || || ||
|-
| Dropping a Mountain || || || 57 || || || ||
|-
| Orbital Speed || || || 58 || 43 || || ||
|-
| Updating a Printed Wikipedia || || || 59 || 58 || || ||
|-
| Signs of Life || || || 60 || || || ||
|-
| Speed Bump || || || 61 || 41 || || ||
|-
| Falling with Helium || || || 62 || 34 || || ||
|-
| Google’s Datacenters on Punch Cards || || || 63 || || || ||
|-
| Rising Steadily || || || 64 || 15 || || ||
|-
| Twitter Timeline Height || || || 65 || || || ||
|-
| 500 MPH || || || 66 || || || ||
|-
| Expanding Earth || || || 67 || 55 || || ||
|-
| Human Computer || || || 68 || 21 || || ||
|-
| Facebook of the Dead || || || 69 || 59 || || ||
|-
| The Constant Groundskeeper || || || 70 || || || ||
|-
| Stirring Tea || || || 71 || 61 || || ||
|-
| Loneliest Human || || || 72 || 63 || || ||
|-
| Lethal Neutrinos || || || 73 || 39 || || ||
|-
| Soda Planet || || || 74 || || || ||
|-
| Phone Keypad || || || 75 || || || ||
|-
| Reading Every Book || || || 76 || || 10 || ||
|-
| Growth Rate || || || 77 || || || ||
|-
| T-rex Calories || || || 78 || || 7 || ||
|-
| Lake Tea || || || 79 || || || ||
|-
| Pile of Viruses || || || 80 || || || ||
|-
| Catch! || || || 81 || || 12 || ||
|-
| Hitting a comet || || || 82 || || || ||
|-
| Star Sand || || || 83 || || 16 || ||
|-
| Paint the Earth || || || 84 || || 14 || ||
|-
| Rocket Golf || || || 85 || || || ||
|-
| Far-Traveling Objects || || || 86 || || || ||
|-
| Enforced by Radar || || || 87 || || || ||
|-
| Soda Sequestration || || || 88 || || || ||
|-
| Tungsten Countertop || || || 89 || || || ||
|-
| Great Tree, Great Axe || || || 90 || || || ||
|-
| Faucet Power || || || 91 || || || ||
|-
| One-Second Day || || || 92 || || 21 || ||
|-
| Windshield Raindrops || || || 93 || || || ||
|-
| Billion-Story Building || || || 94 || || 22 || ||
|-
| Pyramid Energy || || || 95 || || || ||
|-
| $2 Undecillion Lawsuit || || || 96 || || 23 || ||
|-
| Burning Pollen || || || 97 || || || ||
|-
| Blood Alcohol || || || 98 || || 42 || ||
|-
| Starlings || || || 99 || || || ||
|-
| WWII Films || || || 100 || || || ||
|-
| Plastic Dinosaurs || || || 101 || || 26 || ||
|-
| Keyboard Power || || || 102 || || || ||
|-
| Vanishing Water || || || 103 || || || ||
|-
| Global Snow || || || 104 || || 59 || ||
|-
| Cannibalism || || || 105 || || || ||
|-
| Ink Molecules || || || 106 || || || ||
|-
| Letter to Mom || || || 107 || || || ||
|-
| Expensive Shoebox || || || 108 || || || ||
|-
| Into the Blue || || || 109 || || || ||
|-
| Walking New York || || || 110 || || || ||
|-
| All the Money || || || 111 || || || ||
|-
| Balloon Car || || || 112 || || || ||
|-
| Visit Every State || || || 113 || || || ||
|-
| Antimatter || || || 114 || || || ||
|-
| Into the Sun || || || 115 || || 61 || ||
|-
| No-Rules NASCAR || || || 116 || || 35 || ||
|-
| Distant Death || || || 117 || || || ||
|-
| Physical Salary || || || 118 || || || ||
|-
| Laser Umbrella || || || 119 || || || ||
|-
| Alternate Universe What Ifs || || || 120 || || || ||
|-
| Frozen Rivers || || || 121 || || || ||
|-
| Lava Lamp || || || 122 || || 40 || ||
|-
| Fairy Demographics || || || 123 || || || ||
|-
| Lunar Swimming || || || 124 || || || ||
|-
| Bowling Ball || || || 125 || || || ||
|-
| Stairs || || || 126 || || || ||
|-
| Tug of War || || || 127 || || || ||
|-
| Zippo Phone || || || 128 || || || ||
|-
| Black Hole Moon || || || 129 || || || ||
|-
| Snow Removal || || || 130 || || || ||
|-
| Microwaves || || || 131 || || || ||
|-
| Hotter than Average || || || 132 || || || ||
|-
| Flagpole || || || 133 || || || ||
|-
| Space Burial || || || 134 || || || ||
|-
| Digging Downward || || || 135 || || || ||
|-
| Spiders vs. the Sun || || || 136 || || 44 || ||
|-
| New Horizons || || || 137 || || || ||
|-
| Jupiter Submarine || || || 138 || || || ||
|-
| Jupiter Descending || || || 139 || || || ||
|-
| Proton Earth, Electron Moon || || || 140 || || 48 || ||
|-
| Sunbeam || || || 141 || || || ||
|-
| Space Jetta || || || 142 || || || ||
|-
| Europa Water Siphon || || || 143 || || || ||
|-
| Saliva Pool || || || 144 || || 53 || ||
|-
| Fire from Moonlight || || || 145 || || 51 || ||
|-
| Stop Jupiter || || || 146 || || || ||
|-
| Niagara Straw || || || 147 || || 55 || ||
|-
| Eat the Sun || || || 148 || || || ||
|-
| Pizza Bird || || || 149 || || || ||
|-
| Tattooine Rainbow || || || 150 || || || ||
|-
| Sun Bug || || || 151 || || || ||
|-
| Flood Death Valley || || || 152 || || || ||
|-
| Hide the Atmosphere || || || 153 || || || ||
|-
| Coast-to-Coast Coasting || || || 154 || || || ||
|-
| Toaster vs. Freezer || || || 155 || || || ||
|-
| Electrofishing for Whales || || || 156 || || || ||
|-
| Earth-Moon Fire Pole || || || 157 || || 58 || ||
|-
| Global Windstorm || || || || 1 || || ||
|-
| Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #1 || || || || 4 || || ||
|-
| New York–Style Time Machine || || || || 5 || || ||
|-
| Periodic Wall of the Elements || || || || 8 || || ||
|-
| Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #2 || || || || 12 || || ||
|-
| The Last Human Light || || || || 13 || || ||
|-
| Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #3 || || || || 16 || || ||
|-
| Orbital Submarine || || || || 17 || || ||
|-
| Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #4 || || || || 20 || || ||
|-
| Little Planet || || || || 22 || || ||
|-
| Common Cold || || || || 25 || || ||
|-
| Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #5 || || || || 27 || || ||
|-
| No More DNA || || || || 29 || || ||
|-
| Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #6 || || || || 31 || || ||
|-
| Flyover States || || || || 33 || || ||
|-
| Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #7 || || || || 36 || || ||
|-
| Self-Fertilization || || || || 37 || || ||
|-
| Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #8 || || || || 40 || || ||
|-
| Lost Immortals || || || || 42 || || ||
|-
| Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #9 || || || || 46 || || ||
|-
| Sparta || || || || 47 || || ||
|-
| Lego Bridge || || || || 51 || || ||
|-
| Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #10 || || || || 54 || || ||
|-
| Weightless Arrow || || || || 56 || || ||
|-
| All the Lightning || || || || 62 || || ||
|-
| Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #11 || || || || 64 || || ||
|-
| Neutron Bullet || || || || 67 || || ||
|-
| Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #12 || || || || 68 || || ||
|-
| Richter 15 || || || || 69 || || ||
|-
| Soupiter || || || || || 1 || ||
|-
| Helicopter Ride || || || || || 2 || ||
|-
| Dangerously Cold || || || || || 3 || ||
|-
| Ironic Vaporization || || || || || 4 || ||
|-
| Cosmic Road Trip || || || || || 5 || ||
|-
| Pigeon Chair || || || || || 6 || ||
|-
| Short Answers #1 || || || || || Unnumbered (between 6 and 7) || ||
|-
| Geyser || || || || || 8 || ||
|-
| Pew, Pew, Pew || || || || || 9 || ||
|-
| Weird & Worrying #1 || || || || || Unnumbered (between 10 and 11) || ||
|-
| Banana Church || || || || || 11 || ||
|-
| Lose Weight the Slow and Incredibly Difficult Way || || || || || 13 || ||
|-
| Jupiter Comes to Town || || || || || 15 || ||
|-
| Swing Set || || || || || 17 || ||
|-
| Airliner Catapult || || || || || 18 || ||
|-
| Short Answers #2 || || || || || Unnumbered (between 18 and 19) || ||
|-
| Slow Dinosaur Apocalypse || || || || || 19 || ||
|-
| Elemental Worlds || || || || || 20 || ||
|-
| Star Ownership || || || || || 24 || ||
|-
| Tire Rubber || || || || || 25 || ||
|-
| Short Answers #3 || || || || || Unnumbered (between 26 and 27) || ||
|-
| Suction Aquarium || || || || || 27 || ||
|-
| Earth Eye || || || || || 28 || ||
|-
| Build Rome in a Day || || || || || 29 || ||
|-
| Mariana Trench Tube || || || || || 30 || ||
|-
| Expensive Shoebox || || || || || 31 || ||
|-
| MRI Compass || || || || || 32 || ||
|-
| Ancestor Fraction || || || || || 33 || ||
|-
| Bird Car || || || || || 34 || ||
|-
| Weird & Worrying #2 || || || || || Unnumbered (between 35 and 36) || ||
|-
| Vacuum Tube Smartphone || || || || || 36 || ||
|-
| Laser Umbrella || || || || || 37 || ||
|-
| Eat a Cloud || || || || || 38 || ||
|-
| Tall Sunsets || || || || || 39 || ||
|-
| Sisyphean Refrigerators || || || || || 41 || ||
|-
| Basketball Earth || || || || || 43 || ||
|-
| Inhale a Person || || || || || 45 || ||
|-
| Candy Crush Lightning || || || || || 46 || ||
|-
| Short Answers #4 || || || || || Unnumbered (between 46 and 47) || ||
|-
| Toasty Warm || || || || || 47 || ||
|-
| Eyeball || || || || || 49 || ||
|-
| Japan Runs an Errand || || || || || 50 || ||
|-
| Read All the Laws || || || || || 52 || ||
|-
| Weird & Worrying #3 || || || || || Unnumbered (between 52 and 53) || ||
|-
| Snowball || || || || || 54 || ||
|-
| Walking Backward in Time || || || || || 56 || ||
|-
| Ammonia Tube || || || || || 57 || ||
|-
| Short Answers #5 || || || || || Unnumbered (between 58 and 59) || ||
|-
| Dog Overload || || || || || 60 || ||
|-
| Sunscreen || || || || || 62 || ||
|-
| Walking on the Sun || || || || || 63 || ||
|-
| Lemon Drops and Gumdrops || || || || || 64 || ||
|}

[[Category:What If?| 9]]{{xkcdmeta}}

1606: Five-Day Forecast

2025-01-24T12:44:34Z

172.69.194.162: Undo revision 363417 by 172.68.211.79 (talk) Is that more useful? Imagine having to rewind a screen-reader to find out what every back-refered description actually was? Not optimal.

{{comic
| number = 1606
| date = November 20, 2015
| title = Five-Day Forecast
| image = five_day_forecast.png
| titletext = You know what they say--if you don't like the weather here in the Solar System, just wait five billion years.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Weather forecasting}} is an extremely difficult task, even if it is only for five days. In numerical models, extremely small errors in initial values double roughly every five days for variables such as temperature and wind velocity. So most {{w|Meteorology#Meteorologists|meteorologists}} provide us with only a five-day forecast.

In this comic [[Randall]] takes this to the extreme by first showing a '''Five-Day Forecast''' and then progressing to five-month, year, million, billion and finally trillion-year forecasts, leading to {{tvtropes|WeirdWeather|weather patterns that we don't regularly see.}}

Since the first weather symbol is the same in all six rows, we can assume it indicates the weather today and not tomorrow, in a trillion years, etc. It is only in the second panel of each row that time has passed per the row's label. Consequently, the last column gives the predictions for four days, four months, ..., four trillion years from today.

When moving past the five-day prediction, the forecast is just a qualified guess based on the time of year. In a month it is Christmas as shown in the second panel of the second row. Then it is January and February so snow is likely, but certainly not something that happens on all days of a winter month.

Looking at the five-year forecast, guesses are made as to what the weather will be like at the same time of year. For these first three predictions the weather symbols are all of the same three types: Sun, clouds and some kind of {{w|precipitation}}, rain or snow, with the temperature ranging from 21 to 44 °F (-6.1 to 6.6 °C) - winter temperatures.

Then we go into the far future, jumping a million years from panel to panel. But still the weather symbols stay the same. In 3 million years, however, aliens (or advanced humans) attack with energy beams from {{w|flying saucers}}. They are gone a million years later. The temperature range remains the same across the panels except that it rises to 52 °F (11 °C), a possible reference to global warming, in one panel, and while the attack is going on it rises to 275 °F (135 °C).

Once we get to the billion-year mark it actually becomes more meaningful to try to predict the "weather", because now we reach the times when the {{w|Sun}} begins to change. Although the Sun will continue to burn hydrogen for about 5 billion years yet (while in its {{w|Sun#Main sequence|main sequence|}}), it will grow in diameter as it begins to exhaust its supply of fuel. The core will contract to increase the temperature, and the outer layer will then compensate by expanding slightly. This is what is indicated in panels two and three, where the color of the Sun changes towards red as the surface becomes cooler as it expands away from the center of the Sun. The temperature will rise on Earth as indicated in the panels (105 °F = 40.5 °C and 371 °F = 188 °C). The temperature will get hot enough in about [http://phys.org/news/2015-02-sun-wont-die-billion-years.html a billion years] that the Earth's oceans will boil away.

Once it {{w|Sun#After core hydrogen exhaustion|no longer has enough hydrogen}}, the Sun will expand into a {{w|red giant}}. This should not happen until around {{w|Sun#Composition|five billion years from now}}, but in the forecast it is indicated to happen in only three. Maybe this is Randall taking liberties to show what happens during this phase, which would not fit into a four-billion-year forecast. Alternatively it just indicates how uncertain these kinds of forecasts are, or a statement that we may not know for certain that it will take five not three billion years.

In any case, the fourth panel shows the temperature at Earth's position inside the red giant Sun. The color of the panel indicates that we are inside the Sun. The temperature is 71,488,106 degrees Fahrenheit (39,715,597 degrees Celsius). The current temperature of the center of the Sun is "only" 27 million degrees Fahrenheit (15 million degrees Celsius), and although that may rise by a factor of ten during {{w|Stellar nucleosynthesis|helium fusion}}, that will only be at the very core and not out in the solar atmosphere reaching out to Earth. Here the temperature would only be of the order of thousands of degrees Fahrenheit, since the Sun's outer temperature decreases as it increases its diameter. So this panel's temperature also makes little sense. It may involve some ambiguities regarding what the forecast means; the edge of the red giant Sun is predicted to be somewhere near the current orbit of Earth, but the position of the Earth could change. The most likely prediction at the moment is for Earth to move outward, but if the planet is engulfed by the Sun, it would spiral inward, and at some point fall apart. So in some sense "here" for the forecast could become a position deep inside the Sun, where core temperatures could reach 100 million Kelvin. The temperatures shown are unreasonably precise; they probably should have only two or at most three significant figures.

The red giant phase lasts only half a million years, so a billion years after the Sun has been a red giant its outer atmosphere will definitely have disappeared, leaving only a dim, cool {{w|white dwarf}} to cool down. Given Randall's version of this time schedule, then it will have had about a billion years to cool down, but would still likely be the brightest object in the sky as seen from where the Earth once was. It is not shown in the last panel, where we just see other stars of the Galaxy. The temperature is down to that of the {{w|Cosmic microwave background|background radiation}}. Today this radiation has a temperature of 2.72548 kelvin = -270.4245 °C = -454.7641 °F. That is a few degrees F colder than what is shown in the comic, which states the temperature is -452 °F = 4.26 kelvin. This higher temperature may have been chosen to reflect that even the light from other stars would increase the actual temperature.

In the last panel with trillions of years, we jump right past the Sun's red giant phase to a panel looking much like the one after five billion years with only other stars. Over the next three trillion years the stars become fewer and fewer and dimmer and dimmer as they run out of fuel and fewer new stars form. After four trillion years the background temperature decreases one degree to -453 °F as the universe keeps expanding and the wavelength of the radiation does the same, thus decreasing its temperature.

The title text is a play on comments referring to fast-changing weather on a more ordinary human timescale, such as Mark Twain's quip, "If you don't like the weather in New England now, just wait a few minutes."

A ten-day forecast was used in [[1245: 10-Day Forecast]]. In [[1379: 4.5 Degrees]], Randall looked at the weather over long periods of time as well. in [[1643: Degrees]] he addressed Celsius vs. Fahrenheit for measuring temperature.

===Image using Celsius===

There is a different user-made version for the picture, using [[3001|Celsius]] instead of Fahrenheit, [[:File:five_day_forecast_Celsius.png|in this image link]].

==Transcript==
:[A grid with six rows of five columns, where each row is labeled to the left. For each of the 30 squares a temperature is given in Fahrenheit at the top left. The rest of the square represents the weather as in a weather forecast (or some other relevant items for the comic), mainly in bright colors. Below are the six labels given above each of their five weather symbols with temperature given below these symbols description.]

:'''Your 5-day forecast'''
:[A bright yellow sun.]
:38°F
:[A grey cloud.]
:41°F
:[A grey cloud with six lines of blue raindrops below.]
:36°F
:[A grey cloud in front of a yellow sun.]
:40°F
:[A bright yellow sun.]
:44°F

:'''Your 5-month forecast'''
:[A bright yellow sun.]
:38°F
:[A green Christmas tree with red presents beneath it.]
:29°F
:[A grey cloud with four snowflakes below.]
:21°F
:[A grey cloud with four snowflakes below.]
:24°F
:[A grey cloud.]
:35°F

:'''Your 5-year forecast'''
:[A bright yellow sun.]
:38°F
:[A grey cloud.]
:25°F
:[A bright yellow sun.]
:36°F
:[A grey cloud with six lines of blue raindrops below.]
:37°F
:[A bright yellow sun.]
:41°F

:'''Your 5-million-year forecast'''
:[A bright yellow sun.]
:38°F
:[A bright yellow sun.]
:52°F
:[A grey cloud.]
:40°F
:[Two red flying saucers (with bright domes) are shooting energy beams downwards. One of the beams seems to impact with something at the bottom of the panel, which then explodes. Two plumes of smoke rises up from below, drifting to the right.]
:275°F
:[A grey cloud in front of a yellow sun.]
:40°F

:'''Your 5-billion-year forecast'''
:[A bright yellow sun.]
:38°F
:[A larger orange sun.]
:105°F
:[A very large red sun.]
:371°F
:[A pale yellow panel with no drawing.]
:71,488,106°F
:[A night sky with many bright stars.]
:-452°F

:'''Your 5-trillion-year forecast'''
:[A bright yellow sun.]
:38°F
:[A night sky with many bright stars.]
:-452°F
:[A night sky with many stars.]
:-452°F
:[A night sky with fewer not so bright stars.]
:-452°F
:[A night sky with few dim stars.]
:-453°F

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Weather]]
[[Category:Aliens]]

3041: Unit Circle

2025-01-24T09:54:00Z

172.69.194.162: /* Explanation */ Better link than that given. It's an (outside-only?) sliding-scale measurer (*probably* using vernier resolution), rather than the read-off scale itself in isolation. In a form easier to identifiably show than laser-ranging equipment.

{{comic
| number = 3041
| date = January 22, 2025
| title = Unit Circle
| image = unit_circle_2x.png
| imagesize = 325x259px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = They're continuing to search for a square with the same area as the circle, as efforts to construct one have run into difficulties.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Constructed by an IMAGINARY NUMBER OF COMPASSES AND CURVED EDGES. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
A {{w|unit circle}} is a mathematical concept which is a circle whose radius is one (with no units). When doing math problems with a unit circle, all other distances are therefore in terms of the circle's radius: a line with length 3 is three times the radius, a line of length 1/2 is half the radius, and so on. This is very useful in many geometry problems.

This comic shows an expedition of some experts ([[White Hat]], [[Ponytail]], [[Miss Lenhart]] (the mathematician), [[Cueball]] and [[Megan]]) having located a "real unit circle": a physical object which somehow is this mathematical idea. Cueball is holding a set of {{w|Calipers#Vernier caliper|vernier calipers}}, precise instruments used to provide an exact measurement of the unit circle. By measuring the "real unit circle", mathematicians could then provide its measurement in whatever ordinary unit they choose, such as centimeters or inches, to textbooks which describe the unit circle. The notion of defining a unit in terms of an actual physical object is actually quite reasonable, as the meter was {{w|Metre#Meridional_definition|officially defined as the length of a specific physical bar}} until 1960 and the kilogram was defined by the mass of a {{w|International_Prototype_of_the_Kilogram|specific physical object}} until 2019. Doing so with the unit circle would be entirely pointless, however, as the entire purpose of the unit circle is to define mathematical relationships, which can be generalized to any unit, rather than being restricted to a given length.

The title text refers to the old geometry problem of {{w|squaring the circle}}, whereupon one starts with a circle with a known area - for a unit circle, π - and tries to create a square with the same area, traditionally using nothing more than an idealized compass and straightedge. Such a square would have edges measuring √π units in length, and once it was proven that π is a transcendental number, it was definitively known that squaring a circle is impossible. This causes problems for the comic's team of mathematicians, who wished to create such a square to go along with its unit circle but must instead rely upon finding one, presumably using the same approach they used to find this circle. (Note that a {{w|unit square}}, should one also exist, would have edges the same length as the unit circle's radius, and would not have the same area as either of the others.)

==Transcript==
:[White Hat, Ponytail, Miss Lenhart, Cueball, and Megan are standing in a field. White Hat stands behind Ponytail who is holding a notebook and taking notes while looking down at Miss Lenhart who is kneeling and holding her hands on a circular object with the radius marked on it. The radius is pointing away from her towards Cueball standing on the other side. He is holding a large vernier caliper-like measuring instrument with the two arms poised over the object ready to measure its diameter. Behind him Megan is taking a photo of the object with her phone turned sideways.]

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Math breakthrough: Dimensional analysts have discovered a real unit circle. Once they measure it, units can finally be added to all our geometry textbooks.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Miss Lenhart]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Geometry]]

1619: Watson Medical Algorithm

2024-12-14T08:32:57Z

172.69.194.162: /* Explanation of steps */ punctuation/grammar fix, and a separate sense-fix

{{comic
| number = 1619
| date = December 21, 2015
| title = Watson Medical Algorithm
| image = watson_medical_algorithm.png
| titletext = Due to a minor glitch, 'discharge patient' does not cause the algorithm to exit, but instead leads back to 'hunt down and capture patient'.
}}

==Explanation==
IBM's {{w|Watson (computer)|Watson}} is a natural language system designed to answer questions posed by humans. Recently, {{w|IBM}} has extended Watson to act as a {{w|clinical decision support system}}, using image analytics to aid {{w|physicians}} in medical decision making.

In this comic, [[Randall]] uses a {{w|flowchart}} (as he [[:Category:Flowcharts|often does]]) to represent a guide to the algorithm used by Watson, including bizarre and horrifying techniques including surgical alteration of a patient to match a height and weight chart or squeezing the patient to make sure fluids come out of them. Like [[416: Zealous Autoconfig]], this comic pokes fun at a rigid, poorly-designed setup that ends up potentially doing more harm than good.

Modern {{w|medicine}} involves both standard processes and clinical judgment based around years of advanced training. An algorithm like this would have to be incredibly complicated in order to simulate the clinical judgment of a good doctor. However, some procedures are not normally used, and some would obviously cause damage.{{Citation needed}} Below is a [[#Explaination of steps|detailed description of each step]], but here is a list of some of the more strange steps:
*The algorithm depicted treats a patient as more of a machine or mechanical system than a living being, especially through decisions such as:
**Injecting oxygen into patients with low {{w|Oxygen saturation (medicine)|oxygen saturation}}, rather than administering an oxygen mask or treating the root cause.
**Removing and inspecting a skeleton, then diagnosing the patient's condition with a bone count. This is likely a reference to [http://buttersafe.com/2015/10/15/a-serious-case-of-spookiness/ A Serious Case Of Spookiness] from the [http://buttersafe.com/ Buttersafe] web-comic, a comic Randall links to from below the comics on {{xkcd}}.
***In the book ''[[Thing Explainer]]'' there is an explanation ''Colors of light'' for the electromagnetic spectrum, where [[Ponytail]] as a doctor looks at a full body x-ray of [[Cueball]] and exclaims that ''... It looks like your body is full of bones'' to which Cueball replies ''Oh no! Is there any cure?'' Well if he meets Watson he might have them all removed... This comic came out about a month after the book so it may be viewed as a kind of reference to the problem with too many bones.
**{{w|Dissecting}} a doctor "for parts" after consulting them for advice.
**Removing extra limbs from a patient if the count is 100 or more (This might be a reference to different number systems used in computers, as 100 is read in binary as four.)
**Determining whether the "build environment" of the patient is sane. This is most probably a reference to the {{w|configure script}} used in the {{w|GNU_build_system|GNU build system}}, which emits "checking whether build environment is sane" as one of its status messages. This is also referenced in [[371: Compiler Complaint]].
**Rinsing the whole patient with a {{w|Saline (medicine)|saline solution}}.
**Removing organs from a patient regardless of response to an {{w|organ donation}} request.
*Other decisions appear to be entirely unrelated to the conditions upon which they are predicated:
**If the patient doesn't rate their {{w|Pain scale|pain on a scale}} from 0-10, {{w|Genome project|sequence their genome}}, apply a {{w|tourniquet}}, and perform an {{w|autopsy}}
**If the patient's phone's battery is low, {{w|Defibrillation|defibrillate}} until the battery is charged, sync photos, then administer general anesthesia
**If the patient is successfully comforted after an oxygen injection, check their medical history and apply {{w|Skin grafting|skin grafts}}
**If green fluid is released from the patient, begin to {{w|Cauterization|cauterize}}
**If the patient has less than 100 limbs, check their {{w|Vitamin D}} level

Although there are two options where the patient is {{w|Inpatient_care#Planning_for_patient_discharge|discharged}} the patient should be very lucky to make it to one alive. The only survivable route requires the patient to be injecting with oxygen, which is typically lethal. The patient would also experience multiple unnecessary operations, which hopefully do not last long enough for their vitamin D levels or their phone battery to decrease significantly.

The option at the bottom left is only reached after your skeleton is removed (and nothing is mentioned about putting it back, even if that would help).

The other discharge option is to the right, three boxes down, and can only be reached if you survive having an oxygen saturation of less than 50 % (less than 80-90 % can be a serious problem, see [[#Explanation of steps|table below]]), and a very dangerous oxygen injection. Then you have to have a skin graft and a good D vitamin level. It is also best that you have a fully charged phone else you will be subject to defibrillation (which may very likely kill you, if it will continue until your phone is charged to above "low" level - which is probably not even possible).

You can also reach this discharge option another way, but that would only be after your organs were removed... But if you get through this you could reach the discharged option alive. Sadly there is a little glitch mentioned in the title text:

The title text implies that, if the patient is so lucky to ever reach one of the two places with the option "discharge patient", a minor glitch will cause the program to go back to the ''hunt down and capture patient'' option which thus force the patient and the program to repeat the process again in an infinite cycle, that will only end once the patient give another rating than 0-10 of their pain level on the 0-10 scale. Then the program will start to sequence their genome, then apply a tourniquet and finally perform an autopsy on what will, in the end, for certain be a deceased patient; but maybe the patient was still alive when the autopsy began. This will finally cause the patient to leave the cycle as a corpse. If the patient dies before giving a different option, the machine could get stuck, as it will never receive any answer to the pain level question. It could also get stuck trying to charge the patients phone battery by defibrillation.

One potential way to survive is to keep answering “nine” on the pain level question. Another possible exit would be spitting, drooling or sweating enough to register in the "fluid coming out of patient" stage while not bleeding or having snot fall out, causing the algorithm to freeze due to not having a response for clear liquids.
This is the second comic in a row about health issues with the last comic being [[1618: Cold Medicine]].

===Explanation of steps===
{| class="wikitable"
| | Step
| | Medically valid?
| | Conditions and following step
|-
| |
Draw Blood
| |
Phlebotomy is a normal early step in the diagnostic process, but not as first and unconditional step
| |
Record patient’s name
|-
| |
Record patient’s name
| |
Ideally done before a robot is involved, but not an abnormal step
| |
Measure Patient’s height and Weight
|-
| |
Measure Patient’s height and Weight
| |
OK
| |
Consult Standard height/weight chart
|-
| |
Consult Standard height/weight chart
| |
OK
| |
Surgically adjust patient to match
|-
| |
Surgically adjust patient to match
| |
May be considered ethically dubious unless there are [http://www.gosh.nhs.uk/medical-information/procedures-and-treatments/limb-length-difference-and-limb-lengthening sound medical reasons] for doing so. Could be an allusion to {{w|Procrustes}}.
| |
Is patient coughing up blood?
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Is patient coughing up blood?
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
OK, coughing up blood is generally a sign that there is something wrong. Typical causes are respiratory tract infections (e.g. tuberculosis), lung trauma or pulmonary embolism.
| |
Yes: Gather blood and return it to body
|-
| |
No: Is patient still here?
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Is patient still here?
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Not usually considered a step, but missing patients are a problem in some fields, psychiatry or intensive care for example.
| |
Yes: Record pulse rate
|-
| |
No: Hunt down and capture patient
|-
| |
Hunt down and capture patient
| |
Valid if patient should not have left the bed/unit, but the wording is possibly dubious.
| |
Is patient still here?
|-
| |
Gather blood and return it to body
| |
Dangerous idea in this case due to likelihood of contamination, although if safely done autotransfusion is an accepted medical technique to ensure a matching blood supply prior to a major operation, or to enhance stamina (blood doping)
| |
Record pulse rate
|-
| |
Record pulse rate
| |
OK, but maybe a little late.
| |
Is patient screaming?
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Is patient screaming?
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Very important question, indicating patient is conscious, in pain, and aware pain is bad. First attenders can use it in classifying priorities (quiet patients may be more severely injured). Generally useful in assessing nerve damage, pain relief, etc.
| |
Yes: Ignore
|-
| |
No: Check blood O2 saturation
|-
| |
Ignore
| |
Ignoring that a patient is screaming might not be a good idea, as it indicates that the patient is in severe pain, but could be indicated in mass casualty situations or other dire emergency.
| |
Check blood O2 saturation
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 ` |
Check blood O2 saturation
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Only really indicated if the patient is in danger of hypoxia. Generally normal people should have a SpO2 of 98-100%, but in chronic lung disease this can fall as low to 80%, and in premature babies a SpO2 of 90% is usually targeted to avoid problems with retinopathy. If the SpO2 were to fall as low as 50%, the patient would definitely be dead or unconscious.
| |
>50%: Remove and inspect skeleton
|-
| |
<50%: Inject oxygen
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Remove and inspect skeleton
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Fatal if patient is still alive when beginning. Also not a valid medical procedure in any way as it is impossible to remove most of the long bones of the body without destroying all surrounding tissue.
| |
Too many bones: Is fluid coming out of patient?
|-
| |
Too few bones: Request consult with human doctor
|-
| |
Request consult with human doctor
| |
Medically valid in the context of obtaining an opinion from a doctor in a different speciality who is better suited to treating the patient.
| |
Dissect doctor for parts
|-
| |
Dissect doctor for parts
| | This may be considered ethically dubious.{{Citation needed}} Possible reference to the Doctor Who episode “{{w|The Girl in the Fireplace}}”
| |
Discharge patient (left)
|-
| |
Discharge patient (left)
| |
Acceptable, but patient would generally be dead by then.
| |
END STATE (before you read the title text)
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Is fluid coming out of patient
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Unintended fluid release is always a problem. How significant a problem depends on where the fluid came from and if it is supposed to be coming from there. Red generally is due to blood, yellow is due to pus/tissue fluid/lymph and green signifies bacterial infection or bile salts (biliverdin). Could also relate to normal fluids being lost (e.g. urine, saliva, sweat)
| |
No: Squeeze patient
|-
| |
Yes: What color?
|-
| |
Squeeze patient
| |
Could be in the medical context, as in providing external ventilation (see iron lung) or some means of removing fluid (e.g. squeezing pus from a boil).
| |
Is fluid coming out of patient
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=4 |
What color?
| width="33%" rowspan=4 |
Never underestimate the number of different types of fluid the body can produce. This may also be a refence to [[1148: Nothing to Offer]].
| |
Yellow: Squeeze Patient
|-
| |
Black: Activate Sprinklers
|-
| |
Red: Ask patient to rate pain level
|-
| |
Green: Cauterize
|-
| |
Activate sprinklers
| |
Not medically valid. Presumably a reference to how much cleaning up will be required by this stage. Or, since this occurs when fluids are black, the black fluids might indicate that there are ashes or charred tissue, indicate that the patient has caught on fire and sprinklers are needed to extinguish the fire.
| |
Subdue patient
|-
| |
Subdue patient
| |
Potentially very important if patient is behaving dangerously to themselves and others around them (due to mental health issues e.g. psychosis or drugs) and/or is moving too much to be given treatment. This would be likely due to what happened earlier.
| |
Apply cream
|-
| |
Apply cream
| |
Medically valid as a form of barrier dressing to improve wound healing.
| |
Ask patient to rate pain level
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=4 |
Ask patient to rate pain level
| width="33%" rowspan=4 |
Useful in the sense that it provides the doctor with the means to ensure that the patient is receiving adequate analgesia during conditions of chronic and acute pain.
| |
0-8: Massage scalp
|-
| |
9: Admit for observation
|-
| |
10: Laser eye removal
|-
| |
Other response: Sequence genome
|-
| |
Massage scalp
| |
This would belong more to the domain of palliative care and reflexology rather than being an accepted medical treatment.
| |
Patient is healthy
|-
| |
Patient is healthy
| |
A subjective assessment of the health patient is often helpful in ruling out certain diagnoses. For example, one is less likely to suspect cancer in a fit, healthy 30 year old than a thin, lethargic 50 year old.
| |
Admit for observation
|-
| |
Admit for observation
| |
Useful in the context of 'watchful waiting', in which the doctor may be unsure if the patient actually has a condition that they suspect that the patient has. By keeping the patient on the ward for a few days, the clinician can monitor the progression of symptoms and rapidly initiate adequate treatment if medically warranted.
| |
Ask patient to rate pain level
|-
| |
Laser eye removal
| |
This is not a standard medical procedure, and not a good idea. This is a reference to [[1681: Laser Products]]. At least in animal surgery, however, laser eye removal [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smK0NYUtoqk does exist].
| |
Admit for observation
|-
| |
Sequence genome
| |
Useful in the association of extremely rare point mutations with an organic illness. See for instance the Genome 10K Project or the Cancer Genome Atlas. Or in diagnosing extremely rare mutations that are not picked up by most commercial DNA screening tests (e.g. kidney failure due to INF2 mutation).
| |
Apply tourniquet
|-
| |
Apply tourniquet
| |
Useful to stop acute bleeding from an injured extremity, but if it is drawn too tightly it can cause neuromuscular damage.
| |
Perform autopsy
|-
| |
Perform autopsy
| | The patient has died, and Watson is being ordered to determine the cause of death. Note that the only way to reach this state is from "apply tourniquet", implying the cause of death is strangulation via tourniquet.
| | END STATE (taking the title text into account, the only possible one)
|-
| |
Cauterize
| |
Cauterizing is done with a heated instrument or a chemical to burn the skin or flesh of (a wound), typically to stop bleeding or prevent the wound from becoming infected. This could be useful if there is an open wound, but can cause tissue damage and other complications.
| |
Ask patient to rate pain level
|-
| |
Inject oxygen
| |
May be fatal as injecting gases directly to the blood vessels can cause a serious embolism if it blocks blood flow to the brain or coronary arteries. However, if the oxygen is injected slowly into the venous circulation, it may be survivable as the bubbles may simply collect in the lungs where the oxygen is then slowly reabsorbed into the blood.
| |
Comfort patient
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Comfort patient
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Psychological support to the patient and relatives is often useful after breaking news of a poor prognosis. It may also be useful in subduing the agitated or psychotic patient.
| |
Comforting successful: Review medical history
|-
| |
Comforting unsuccessful: Subdue patient
|-
| |
Review medical history
| |
Important early step, rather too late and conditional.
| |
Skin grafts
|-
| |
Skin grafts
| |
Only indicated if massive areas of the skin are damaged (typically due to burns)
| |
Count number of limbs
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Count number of limbs
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Not really relevant in medicine, but may be of use to know the reason behind any missing or extra limbs on seeing the patient though a through review of the medical history will render this point moot. Probably a little late to be noticing this now.
| |
Fewer than 100: Measure Vitamin D
|-
| |
100+: Remove extra limbs
|-
| |
Remove extra limbs
| |
Medically indicated in cases of polymelia either due to cosmetic purposes or because the extra limbs pose a direct threat to the health of the baby.
| |
Subdue patient
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Measure vitamin D
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Valid in diagnosis of bone related issues, for example if multiple or comminuted fractures were being counted as additional limbs/bones.
| |
Good: Check whether build environment is sane
|-
| |
Bad: Blood loss?
|-
| |
Check whether build environment is sane
| |
Could be technical reference to the installation of the algorithm in the robot, or could relate to the sanity of:
*The robot doctor
*The patient undergoing this procedure (before or after reaching this part of the process)
*[[Black Hat|The person]] who programmed the robot to perform this flowchart
*[[Black Hat|The person]] who allowed this state of affairs to occur

This could also be a reference to the title text for [[371: Compiler Complaint]].

NB: Whether the build environment is sane is irrelevant to the flowchart.
| |
Rinse patient with saline solution
|-
| |
Rinse patient with saline solution
| |
Tepid sponging may be indicated if the patient has a high fever. Could also refer to internally rinsing patient with saline solution i.e. providing intravenous sodium chloride to boost circulating volume or to perform peritoneal dialysis.
| |
Is patient phone battery low?
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Is patient phone battery low?
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Invalid in medical terminology, could be a technological metaphor for the patient's consciousness or stamina. "Your life-force is running out"
| |
Yes: Defibrillate
|-
| |
No: Sync photos from camera
|-
| |
Defibrillate
| |
Indicated in cases where there is ventricular fibrillation, and to a lesser extent in other heart rhythm disorders, but would not help with a phone.
| |
Is patient phone battery low?
|-
| |
Sync photos from camera
| |
Definitely invalid. Could refer to the robot attempting to backup photos from a camera before attempting to repair it/attempting to back-up patient's consciousness.
| |
Administer general anesthesia
|-
| |
Administer general anesthesia
| |
Valid, but not at this stage. Only used when the procedure will invoke unnecessary distress or pain to the patient if they were to be awake beforehand. This also has the implication that no anesthesia has been applied beforehand. This implication means the patient has likely been subject to unnecessary pain which is ethically dubious.
| |
Discharge patient (right)
|-
| |
Discharge patient (right)
| |
Acceptable in general, but the patient would most likely be dead in both cases as life is not possible without organs, and general anesthesia often requires mechanical ventilation to support breathing.
| |
END STATE (before you read the title text)
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Blood loss?
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Useful. Patient may die if this clinical sign is missed. However, it should be noted that there is no option for "No blood loss".
| |
Minor: Patient address changed?
|-
| |
Substantial: Apply cream
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Patient address changed?
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Useful to ensure that the organization has current contact details for the patient in the event that they may need to contact the patient (e.g. to arrange further appointments)
| |
Yes: Request organ donation
|-
| |
No: Patient is healthy
|-
| |
Request organ donation
| |
Generally done prior to registering an individual for a driving license or to a medical practice, or to the relatives of the deceased if consent had not been acquired beforehand.
|Remove organs
|-
| |
Remove organs
| |
The only organs which can be safely removed from a living person without resulting in serious, chronic medical issues are the kidneys/lungs (only one can be removed), spleen, gonads (ovaries/testes), thyroid gland, part of the liver (as long as one lobe is left it can regrow to its original size) and colon (usually consisting of the appendix only). With some serious lifestyle modifications, the pancreas, pituitary gland, frontal lobe of brain, half of the brain, second kidney, adrenal glands, bladder, and most of the gut can be removed. The heart can be removed from the body and replaced with an artificial pump for a few months at the most. However, such organ removals are only indicated if there is a genuine clinical need to do so due to the non-negligible risk of death associated with these operations.
| Discharge patient (right)
|-
| |
Title text
| |
The glitch in the algorithm causes it to continue in spite of having just discharged the patient
| Hunt down and capture patient.
|}

==Transcript==
:Heading: A guide to the medical diagnostic and treatment system used by IBM's '''Watson''' system
:[A flowchart with the following steps is shown, starting from "start":]
:{| class="wikitable"
| | Step
| | Following step
|-
| |
Start
| |
Draw Blood
|-
| |
Draw Blood
| |
Record patient’s name
|-
| |
Record patient’s name
| |
Measure Patient’s height and Weight
|-
| |
Measure Patient’s height and Weight
| |
Consult Standard height/weight chart
|-
| |
Consult Standard height/weight chart
| |
Surgically adjust patient to match
|-
| |
Surgically adjust patient to match
| |
Is patient coughing up blood?
|-
| rowspan=2 |
Is patient coughing up blood?
| |
Yes: Gather blood and return it to body
|-
| |
No: Is patient still here?
|-
| rowspan=2 |
Is patient still here?
| |
Yes: Record pulse rate
|-
| |
No: Hunt down and capture patient
|-
| |
Hunt down and capture patient
| |
Is patient still here?
|-
| |
Gather blood and return it to body
| |
Record pulse rate
|-
| |
Record pulse rate
| |
Is patient screaming?
|-
| rowspan=2 |
Is patient screaming?
| |
Yes: Ignore
|-
| |
No: Check blood O2 saturation
|-
| rowspan=2 ` |
Check blood O2 saturation
| |
>50%: Remove and inspect skeleton
|-
| |
<50%: Inject oxygen
|-
| rowspan=2 |
Remove and inspect skeleton
| |
Too many bones: Is fluid coming out of patient?
|-
| |
Too few bones: Request consult with human doctor
|-
| |
Request consult with human doctor
| |
Dissect doctor for parts
|-
| |
Dissect doctor for parts
| |
Discharge patient
|-
| |
Discharge patient
| |
END STATE (before you read the title text)
|-
| rowspan=2 |
Is fluid coming out of patient
| |
No: Squeeze patient
|-
| |
Yes: What color?
|-
| |
Squeeze patient
| |
Is fluid coming out of patient
|-
| rowspan=4 |
What color?
| |
Yellow: Squeeze Patient
|-
| |
Black: Activate Sprinklers
|-
| |
Red: Ask patient to rate pain level
|-
| |
Green: Cauterize
|-
| |
Activate sprinklers
| |
Subdue patient
|-
| |
Subdue patient
| |
Apply cream
|-
| |
Apply cream
| |
Ask patient to rate pain level
|-
| rowspan=4 |
Ask patient to rate pain level
| |
0-8: Massage scalp
|-
| |
9: Admit for observation
|-
| |
10: Laser eye removal
|-
| |
Other response: Sequence genome
|-
| |
Massage scalp
| |
Patient is healthy
|-
| |
Patient is healthy
| |
Admit for observation
|-
| |
Admit for observation
| |
Ask patient to rate pain level
|-
| |
Laser eye removal
| |
Admit for observation
|-
| |
Sequence genome
| |
Apply tourniquet
|-
| |
Apply tourniquet
| |
Perform autopsy
|-
| |
Perform autopsy
| | [End state, and if taking the title text into account, the only possible one]
|-
| |
Cauterize
| |
Ask patient to rate pain level
|-
| |
Inject oxygen
| |
Comfort patient
|-
| rowspan=2 |
Comfort patient
| |
Comforting successful: Review medical history
|-
| |
Comforting unsuccessful: Subdue patient
|-
| |
Review medical history
| |
Skin grafts
|-
| |
Skin grafts
| |
Count number of limbs
|-
| rowspan=2 |
Count number of limbs
| |
Fewer than 100: Measure Vitamin D
|-
| |
100+: Remove extra limbs
|-
| |
Remove extra limbs
| |
Subdue patient
|-
| rowspan=2 |
Measure vitamin D
| |
Good: Check whether build environment is sane
|-
| |
Bad: Blood loss?
|-
| |
Check whether build environment is sane
| |
Rinse patient with saline solution
|-
| |
Rinse patient with saline solution
| |
Is patient phone battery low?
|-
| rowspan=2 |
Is patient phone battery low?
| |
Yes: Defibrillate
|-
| |
No: Sync photos from camera
|-
| |
Defibrillate
| |
Is patient phone battery low?
|-
| |
Sync photos from camera
| |
Administer general anesthesia
|-
| |
Administer general anesthesia
| |
Discharge patient
|-
| rowspan=2 |
Blood loss?
| |
Minor: Patient address changed?
|-
| |
Substantial: Apply cream
|-
| rowspan=2 |
Patient address changed?
| |
Yes: Request organ donation
|-
| |
No: Patient is healthy
|-
| |
Request organ donation
|Remove organs
|-
| |
Remove organs
| Discharge patient
|-
| |
Discharge patient
| |
[End State: See title text]
|}

==Trivia==
*The [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/archive/1/15/20151222113107!watson_medical_algorithm.png original comic] was updated after it was first posted.
**The decisions for number of limbs were swapped so it made sense.
**In the corrected version it was only if you had more than 100 limbs that Watson would remove the extra limbs.
**Before it removed limbs if you had less than 100 (i.e. always, and now never.)
**This actually opened up (a slim) chance to survive to the right discharge patient box. Although it would not matter according to the title text...

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Flowcharts]]
[[Category:Artificial Intelligence]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Sarcasm]]
[[Category:Medicine]]

1920: Emoji Sports

2024-11-15T10:31:22Z

172.69.194.162: Undo revision 356963 by 172.71.218.108 (talk) No apparent reason.

{{comic
| number = 1920
| date = November 24, 2017
| title = Emoji Sports
| image = emoji_sports.png
| titletext = No horse has yet managed the elusive Quadruple Crown—winning the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness, the Belmont Stakes, and the Missouri Horse Hole.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic, as the heading indicates, arbitrarily selects emoji and uses them to make up very bizarre sports. Although some of these might be completely normal, most of them take things to a completely absurd level.

The title text is a reference to the {{w|Triple Crown of Thoroughbred Racing (United States)|Triple Crown}}, which is an highly prestigious award given to a three-year-old thoroughbred horse who wins the {{w|Kentucky Derby}}, the {{w|Preakness Stakes}}, and the {{w|Belmont Stakes}}, the first three of the four listed events. The joke is that if Horse Hole was a real sport, then one who won a major competition for it, the Missouri Horse Hole, in addition to the three main horse racing events, would win a "Quadruple Crown".

''Please note that some emoji may not be supported by your browser, in which the emoji will appear as a black rectangle, and if there is a male/female version of the emoji, a male/female sign will appear next to the rectangle.''

{| class="wikitable"
!scope="col" style="width: 100px;" |Emoji
!scope="col" style="width: 150px;" |Sport
!scope="col" |Description
|-
|🤽‍♂️🌋
|Lavaball
|Sets the sport of water polo around or inside an active volcano. If the water is simply replaced with lava, the players would asphyxiate from the toxic fumes long before they burned to death in the molten rock. If a typical pool of water is involved, the introduction of lava would cause rapid evaporation and the release of {{w|Chlorine#Use_as_a_weapon|chlorine gas}}, which is destructive to living tissue. In any case, this game is not a good idea.{{Citation needed}}
|-ly o
|🤾‍♀️🤺
|Bladeball
|Using a fencing foil to hit a ball would be rather inefficient. There is however an actual sport combining ball sport and fencing called {{w|Jugger}}.
|-
|💃💃⚽
|Fancyball
|Soccer played in high heels and dresses would be a problem for both kicking and running, with the grassy terrain exacerbating these issues, and these would lead to frequent injury.{{Citation needed}} The name is likely a pun on "fancy ball", a dance party where people are in fancy clothing.{{Citation needed}}
|-
|🕳️🏇🏇🏇
|Horse hole
| Jockeys ride their horses into a large pit. Needless to say, such a sport would constitute blatant animal abuse; the ensuing fall would seriously injure competing equines (as well as their jockeys if they don't bail out beforehand). If the horse's self-preservation instinct kicks in before reaching the edge, the jockey will likely be severely injured in the process, an outcome which would likely garner a lot less pity. Both this segment and the title text may relate to Episode 354 of ''{{w|My Brother My Brother And Me}}'', "Beanfreak", where a potential punishment for losing horses in a race is described as a trapdoor leading to a "pony pile" beneath the track. (Many of the podcast's episodes deal with horse racing and horse behavior, including some impassioned conversations on the performance of specific horses and the unregulated nature of the widely recognized Triple Crown achievement.)
|-
|🔪🏀⛏️
|Basketball shredding
|The apparent point of this sport is to compete to destroy basketballs as quickly and/or as thoroughly as possible. There is some transgressive appeal in mistreating sports equipment, but hardly enough to keep a captive audience.
|-
|🥚🔭🕵️‍♀️
|Eggspotting
|This could be a combination of {{w|Egg_hunt|egg hunting}} and {{w|birdwatching}}. The emojis may imply that said eggs would have to be found alone in nature, as if they were wild animals, though it might be spotting of eggs of the wild animals in their nests. If the latter is true, the humor arises from the situation being like a form of pre-emptive birdwatching, as the eggs will eventually hatch into birds, and such an activity might be considered easier, or "beginner-level", birdwatching, due to the eggs remaining in one place.
|-
|⛷️🐊
|Alligator jumping
|An unusual combination of attributes, and to get the alligators to adapt to a cold environment might be a challenge. It may be related to the similar sport of {{w|Jumping_the_shark|shark jumping}}.
|-
|👩🎣🧜‍♂️
|Merfishing
|Unless humans volunteer to get in costume, this sport is unlikely to have any successes, due to the nonexistence of {{w|Mermaid|mermaids}}.{{Citation needed}}
|-
|👨🏸🧚🏸👩
|Tinkerball
|Playing badminton with a fairy, named after {{w|Tinker Bell}} as a pun. Likely to injure the fairy, and such an activity runs the risk of the fairy flying away to escape the abuse. Fairies are not known to exist in the real world.{{Citation needed}}
|-
|🥌🦔🥌
|Hedgehog curling
|Hedgehogs are not ideal projectiles for sports,{{Citation needed}} as {{w|Alice's Adventures in Wonderland}} has already demonstrated, and such an idea would be considered animal abuse on top of the impracticality. Nonetheless, hedgehogs are technically skilled at curling...their bodies.
|-
|🗜️🍔
|Burger clamping
|Perhaps a challenge to fit a tall burger into a bite-sized height, though said clamp would probably be more likely to pierce the burger than to flatten it.
|-
|👩‍🚀🏹🛰️
|Consequence archery
|Archery on a space station could cause damage to its structure leading to the potentially explosive decompression of the space station, and necessitate the evacuation of the astronauts aboard. If played outside, stray arrows could still cause a disaster by setting space debris into motion or by hitting space vessels or equipment. Another dangerous consequence of shooting an arrow while floating in space without a jetpack would be that the shot propels the astronaut in the opposite direction of the arrow, setting them off to drift away helplessly into space. Alternatively, the goal may be to hit satellites which would imply the consequence part being the resulting legal action accompanying a high score unless you wait for them to deorbit naturally in which case the consequence part would be everything associated with being near large chunks of metal at terminal velocity. Another possible hazard would come if the sport involves trying to hit an orbiting object from the ground in which case building let alone trying to wield a bow capable of launching an arrow out of the atmosphere would be dangerous,{{Citation needed}} illegal{{Citation needed}} and difficult. More casual versions could arise from playing on celestial bodies with less gravity and atmosphere but that would defeat the whole point.

Shooting an arrow aboard the ISS was considered in the ''what if?'' book.
|-
|🦉➡️📬
|Owlstuffing
|This appears to consist of attempting to stuff owls into mailboxes, which would be doubly illegal, because it would be cruel to the owls and interfere with the delivery of the mail. The mailbox is shown with the flag up, likely meaning that the point is to use these owls to attack mailmen, or that the point is to retrieve the owls from one mailbox and place them in another. Possibly a reference to owls carrying mail in the Harry Potter series.
|-
|🍴🕯️🍴
|Candle eating
|An even more unhealthy form of {{w|competitive eating}}. Eating large amounts of candle wax can cause {{w|Bowel_obstruction|intestinal obstruction}}.
|-
|⛳💣🏌️‍♀️
|Consequence golf
|The "consequence" of this game is simple: the bomb's eventual explosion necessitates efficient playing. Golfing with a bomb would likely significantly reduce the par on each hole, depending on the length of the fuse, and due to the threat of explosion, it would probably not be possible to exceed par unless the golfer is also very fast. There would certainly be damage to the course and golfers unless the holes extinguished the bombs of golfers who succeeded in time. The balance and rolling of the bomb balls would also be impeded by the fuses and caps. The bombs would also need to be very small to be used with standard golf clubs.
|-
|👉🐍👈
|Snake shaming
|Goal appears to be to humiliate a snake, although this may be impossible for most snakes due to their inability to understand humans.{{Citation needed}} Probably a play on snake charming. Also a possible reference to the biblical story where the snake is shamed for deceiving mankind by being doomed to crawl on its belly.
|-
|🔥🧗‍♀️🔥
|Hell escape
|Trying to escape the {{w|lake of fire}} is the pastime of damned souls, but perhaps living people are instead sent there and have to return home.
|-
|🎮🥑🎮
|Multiplayer avocado
|Unless a game based on avocados is the subject, there is, to say the least, a hardware compatibility issue here. Very different from the adult version, multiplayer eggplant (🎮🍆🎮; see [[1870: Emoji Movie Reviews]]).
|}

==Transcript==

:<big>New sports</big>
:created from random emoji

:[Man Playing Water Polo + Volcano]
:🤽‍♂️🌋 Lavaball

:[Woman Playing Handball + Person Fencing]
:🤾‍♀️🤺 Bladeball

:[Woman Dancing (2 emojis) + Soccer Ball]
:💃💃⚽ Fancyball

:[Hole + Horse Racing (3 emojis)]
:🕳️🏇🏇🏇 Horse hole

:[Kitchen Knife + Basketball + Pick]
:🔪🏀⛏️ Basketball shredding

:[Egg + Telescope + Woman Detective]
:🥚🔭🕵️‍♀️ Eggspotting

:[Skier + Crocodile]
:⛷️🐊 Alligator jumping

:[Woman + Fishing Pole + Merman]
:👩🎣🧜‍♂️ Merfishing

:[Man + Badminton + Fairy + Badminton + Woman]
:👨🏸🧚🏸👩 Tinkerball

:[Curling Stone + Hedgehog + Curling Stone]
:🥌🦔🥌 Hedgehog curling

:[Clamp + Hamburger]
:🗜️🍔 Burger clamping

:[Woman Astronaut + Bow and Arrow + Satellite]
:👩‍🚀🏹🛰️ Consequence archery

:[Owl + Right Arrow + Open Mailbox]
:🦉➡️📬 Owlstuffing

:[Fork and Knife + Candle + Fork and Knife]
:🍴🕯️🍴 Candle eating

:[Flag in Hole + Bomb + Woman Golfing]
:⛳💣🏌️‍♀️ Consequence golf

:[Pointing Right + Snake + Pointing Left]
:👉🐍👈 Snake shaming

:[Fire + Woman Climbing + Fire]
:🔥🧗‍♀️🔥 Hell escape

:[Video Game + Avocado + Video Game]
:🎮🥑🎮 Multiplayer avocado

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Emoji]]
[[Category:Volcanoes]]
[[Category:Sport]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Basketball]]

Talk:2894: Research Account

2024-02-16T02:55:17Z

172.69.194.162:

wasn't there a whatif that caused Randal to temporally loose the access to Wolfram Alpha?
[[Special:Contributions/172.70.175.26|172.70.175.26]] 19:40, 14 February 2024 (UTC)
:It was [https://what-if.xkcd.com/62/ the what if about balloons] [[User:Anonymouscript|Anonymouscript]] ([[User talk:Anonymouscript|talk]]) 02:02, 15 February 2024 (UTC)
Although Cueball is often considered to be Randall's alter ego in the comics, when writing explanations we refer to the character. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 20:16, 14 February 2024 (UTC)

I wanted to add something to the explanation saying that he's overthinking, and it probably doesn't matter what you write in the justification, since it's unlikely that anyone actually reads them. But I don't actually know this. If anyone knows what goes on behind the scenes at research institutions, add something. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 20:23, 14 February 2024 (UTC)
:That's my impression (it's very like an account-creation process, supplying free-text to be reviewed at leisure only after attaching the user to a UID with no more verification other than "click on this emailed link to confirm this is your contact details", rather than an application which can be denied or blackballed). But I don't delve into (or control) particularly privileged data-sources where it could be far more strict (yet not so much that it can't be handled by an easy to access web-form), so would also be interested in hearing the facts-of-life from beyond the more open-data side of things. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.194.60|172.69.194.60]] 22:32, 14 February 2024 (UTC)
:I suspect the "Institution" dropdown might be used for some marketing statistics. No one has time to go through all the free-form inputs, although AI may change that. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 22:58, 14 February 2024 (UTC)
::If the database is being funded by a grant (governmental or philanthropic), the "institution" data are likely reported back to the funder, as a means of assessing whether the database is reaching the targeted audience, as may be specified on the proposal. Not too far from "marketing statistics", I reckon. A larger-than-expected number of non-institutional users, especially if the database is targeted to a small number of highly specialized users, could trigger more scrutiny of "reasons for" comments. Such scrutiny could have more direct impact on the grantee (imposition of more restricted access, or grant termination) than on the individual user. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.142.21|172.71.142.21]] 05:53, 15 February 2024 (UTC)

I would say there's also some similarity to the classic [https://xkcd.com/386/ 386: Duty Calls]. --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.248|108.162.245.248]] 03:35, 15 February 2024 (UTC)
:Definitely. I didn't even recognize it by the title, but I just pulled it up in reference to my own behavior patterns... Cueball looks like he's barely moved since then!
:[[User:ProphetZarquon|ProphetZarquon]] ([[User talk:ProphetZarquon|talk]]) 01:56, 16 February 2024 (UTC)

Reading this comic, I feel attacked
[[User:ProphetZarquon|ProphetZarquon]] ([[User talk:ProphetZarquon|talk]]) 18:30, 15 February 2024 (UTC)
:You could probably get away with calling it "Combating public misinformation."
:[[Special:Contributions/172.71.182.57|172.71.182.57]] 22:37, 15 February 2024 (UTC)
::[https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/386:_Duty_Calls Duty calls...]
::[[User:ProphetZarquon|ProphetZarquon]] ([[User talk:ProphetZarquon|talk]]) 01:56, 16 February 2024 (UTC)
::"Educational outreach". Might be funny with effectively "no organisation", if they have "university", "college", "high school", "elementary school", as actual choices. But, without seeing what the rest of the drop-down options are, might still be conceivably a valid reasoning to have "other" (get them wondering if you mean to educate a kindergarten class/a scout troop/a prison educational program/whatever). [[Special:Contributions/172.69.194.162|172.69.194.162]] 02:55, 16 February 2024 (UTC)

Talk:2893: Sphere Tastiness

2024-02-13T11:19:08Z

172.69.194.162:

base balls are delicious after boiling and peeling[[Special:Contributions/172.68.64.212|172.68.64.212]] 00:19, 13 February 2024 (UTC)
:You seem to be confusing baseballs with eggs. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]])
:And who the hell calls baseballs “bAsE bAlLs”. [[User:42.book.addict|42.book.addict]] ([[User talk:42.book.addict|talk]]) 02:40, 13 February 2024 (UTC)

who's the authority on whether or not the earth and the moon are "not tasty"????, i think the moon would be pretty delicious actually [[Special:Contributions/172.69.71.71|172.69.71.71]] 00:26, 13 February 2024 (UTC)GR8GH
:Some Apollo astronauts reported that moondust tastes and smells like gunpowder. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 00:28, 13 February 2024 (UTC)
::Yum! [[User:42.book.addict|42.book.addict]] ([[User talk:42.book.addict|talk]]) 02:41, 13 February 2024 (UTC)
::Sounds {{w|Gunpowder_tea|delicious}} to me.[[Special:Contributions/172.70.85.26|172.70.85.26]] 11:09, 13 February 2024 (UTC)
:Sure, if you like green cheese! [[Special:Contributions/172.70.207.123|172.70.207.123]] 03:26, 13 February 2024 (UTC)
::I actually quite like a good blue cheese, and had a blue (red) leicester only yesterday. But some actual sage derby would fulfil the role of a green one quite tastily. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.112|141.101.99.112]] 04:56, 13 February 2024 (UTC)
::{{w|Green_cheese}} can be perfectly tasty - it's just a young unaged cheese.[[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.26|141.101.99.26]] 11:13, 13 February 2024 (UTC)

In Fuck Grapefruits, watermelons were just slightly tasty. Does he like other melons so much that the average melon is as tasty as grapes? Or has he learned how delicious watermelon actually is? [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 00:42, 13 February 2024 (UTC)
:I think that he probably just learned how delicious watermelon is. [[User:42.book.addict|42.book.addict]] ([[User talk:42.book.addict|talk]]) 02:41, 13 February 2024 (UTC)
:Watermelon is different genus (albeit in the same family) to most melons, so I'd assume watermelon is excluded here.[[Special:Contributions/172.69.194.162|172.69.194.162]] 11:19, 13 February 2024 (UTC)

This comic is begging for another of his four-corner plots, not a line graph. Ball bearings: lower left. Bowling balls: middle bottom. Tapioca: upper left. Cheese balls: upper middle. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.207.123|172.70.207.123]] 03:26, 13 February 2024 (UTC)
:My first thought was that he clearly isn't accounting for frequency, because I'm pretty sure there's a ''lot'' more oranges than baseballs...
:[[User:ProphetZarquon|ProphetZarquon]] ([[User talk:ProphetZarquon|talk]]) 05:06, 13 February 2024 (UTC)

It's a linear interpolation, Michael. How big could the error be? 10%? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.166|108.162.245.166]] 03:51, 13 February 2024 (UTC)

Grapes are spherical? I guess some varieties. [[User:Nitpicking|Nitpicking]] ([[User talk:Nitpicking|talk]]) 04:12, 13 February 2024 (UTC)

With a logarithmic x axis and an unlabelled y axis, I find calling it “linear interpolation” without further explanation disingenious. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.110.121|172.68.110.121]] 08:08, 13 February 2024 (UTC)

I think we have to give serious consideration as to how untasty the Sun is, and the possibility of subatomic particles being absolutely delicious. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.79.189|172.69.79.189]] 10:07, 13 February 2024 (UTC)

2890: Relationship Advice

2024-02-08T19:52:34Z

172.69.194.162: Wrongly positioned.

{{comic
| number = 2890
| date = February 5, 2024
| title = Relationship Advice
| image = relationship_advice_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x241px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Good to be a little wary of advice that sounds too much like a self pep talk.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a RELATIONSHIP WITH A JOB IN THE FINE ARTS - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
In this comic, [[White Hat]], [[Cueball]], and [[Ponytail]] can be seen having a conversation about relationships. White Hat expresses the opinion that "relationships aren't easy". The others accept this advice, which is generally accepted as a reasonable view: two people are always going to have at least some difference in opinions, desires and needs that need to be communicated, negotiated and worked out. This requires mutual effort and some level of compromise in any healthy and successful relationship.

In the subsequent frames, however, White Hat continues to push the matter, describing relationships in increasingly unpleasant terms, starting with calling them "constant work" and ultimately calling it a "grueling ordeal". Cueball and Ponytail correspondingly agree with him less, and instead {{w|The lady doth protest too much, methinks|begin to worry about him}}.

White Hat's views on what is necessary and appropriate in relationships appear to go to unhealthy extremes. While his initial comments about relationships requiring efforts are reasonable, the notion that relationships consist of endless, overwhelming effort is not, for most people, though for some people who experience significant asociality this can be how most relationships feel. However, Cueball and Ponytail appear to suspect that White Hat may be describing a relationship that he's currently in or that has severed, and trying to rationalize an unhealthy situation by telling himself that "this is normal".

When someone is in an abusive relationship, they may struggle to see that the relationship is abusive, often confusing genuinely destructive behavior with normal relationship troubles. There are various reasons this may occur. Some people experience {{w|traumatic bonding}}, some have spent so much time in or around unhealthy relationships that they've come to seem 'normal', and some experience various forms of {{w|Codependency|codependence}}. For people in such situations, help from friends and/or professional counselors is often necessary to allow them to even identify the situation they're in, and particularly to separate themselves from the situation.

Seeing Randall’s often negative thoughts on [[223: Valentine's Day|Valentine’s Day]] and the [[1016: Valentine Dilemma|problems it produces]], it may not be a coincidence that this comic was released only nine days before the event.

The title text explains that advice which focuses on remaining upbeat in a bad situation (like a "pep talk"), should give others pause. There's a good chance that the person giving such advice is trying to {{w|Reaction formation|convince themselves that their situation is alright}}, rather than providing useful guidance for others. In this comic, this sentiment is seemingly applied to White Hat, whose "relationship advice" may be much more personal than such advice should reasonably be, and the reader is thus warned to take advice like this with a grain of salt. This is similar to [[449: Things Fall Apart]] where Cueball tells Megan "I love you" repeatedly and Megan points out he's only saying it to reassure ''himself'' rather than express it to her.

This comic's title is reminiscent of [[Randall|Randall's]] [[:Category:Tips|Tips]] comics. Here, though, there turns out to be no actual advice or tip, and thus not part of the tip category.

==Transcript==
:[White Hat, Cueball and Ponytail are walking. White Hat has his palm out.]
:White Hat: What you have to remember is, relationships aren't easy.
:Ponytail: Yeah, fair.

:[Close-up of White Hat with his finger raised.]
:White Hat: They're hard. They require constant work.
:White Hat: A relationship is a job.
:Off-panel voice: I guess...

:[White Hat has stopped walking and is facing Cueball and Ponytail standing a bit further away.]
:White Hat: It's a challenge that feels overwhelming. It's a crushing burden.
:Cueball: Umm.

:[White Hat has his arms raised while still facing Cueball and Ponytail.]
:White Hat: A relationship is a grueling ordeal.
:Cueball: ...Who are you trying to convince, exactly?
:Ponytail: Yeah, are '''''you''''' okay?
:White Hat: I'm '''''fine!''''' This is '''''normal!'''''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Social interactions]]