explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1285: Third Way

2024-07-28T01:32:46Z

172.69.34.15: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1285
| date = November 1, 2013
| title = Third Way
| image = third way.png
| titletext = 'The monospaced-typewriter-font story is a COMPLETE FABRICATION!  WAKE UP, SHEEPLE' 'It doesn't matter! Studies support single spaces!' 'Those results weren't statistically significant!' 'Fine, you win. I'm using double spaces right now!' 'Are not!  We can all hear your stupid whitespace.'
}}

==Explanation==
This comic refers to the debate occurring in the United States about the correct {{w|Sentence spacing|number of space characters after a period at the end of a sentence}}.

While typewriter typists in the United States were traditionally taught to use two spaces between sentences, this is becoming less common and many sources now recommend having only one space, although this topic is still {{w|Sentence spacing#Controversy|controversial}}.

[[Cueball]] is advocating a line break after every sentence, the mysterious "third way".
This obviates the problem, as a period will always appear at the end of a line and the spacing after it becomes moot.
A line break after every sentence is sometimes called "[http://rhodesmill.org/brandon/2012/one-sentence-per-line/ semantic linefeeds]".
This is particularly useful when plain text files based on a markup language (such as {{w|HTML}}, {{w|TeX}}, or {{w|Wiki markup}}) are edited by multiple people using a {{w|Revision control|version control system}} where it helps to facilitate comparison of changes and avoid merge conflicts.
In most markup languages, a single line feed in the source is rendered as a simple space, while two linefeeds generate a paragraph break.
This approach allows the source to be easily manipulated and versioned, while the rendered output still keeps the regular flow and justification abilities of running text.
(Incidentally, HTML and languages derived from it such as {{w|BBCode}} and {{w|Wiki markup}} will generally render multiple consecutive whitespace characters as a single space, so pretty much every page on the Internet uses single spacing whether the author wants to or not.)
The title text uses single spaces between the back-and-forth quotations; but within each quotation, the quoted speaker's preferred spacing is used; when the single-spacing advocate claims to be using double spacing, this is indeed a lie.
However, realistically, it is implausible that one can hear whitespace.{{Citation needed}}
Randall's mocking characterization in the title text of overzealous advocates using the phrase "WAKE UP, SHEEPLE" has appeared in previous comics: [[496: Secretary: Part 3]] and [[1013: Wake Up Sheeple]].
Note that this is not the first time Randall has [[:Category:Compromise|proposed a controversial third way]], and this debate is later referenced in [[1989: IMHO]].
Sentence spacing was previously mentioned in the title text of [[1070: Words for Small Sets]].

==Transcript==
:[To the left a group with three Cueballs, a Ponytail and Megan at the front which face another group with two Cueballs, a Ponytail and a black haired ponytail at the front. Each group has a placard. A Cueball in the left group has a cutlass and a Cueball in the right group has a spear as they are angrily facing off against each other. Off to the far right side stands a lone Cueball also with a placard.]
:Left placard: '''Two''' spaces after a period
:Middle placard: '''One''' space after a period
:Right placard: Line break after every sentence

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Sheeple]]
[[Category:Compromise]]
[[Category:Language]]

2963: House Inputs and Outputs

2024-07-25T19:11:40Z

172.69.34.15: /* Explanation */ clarify

{{comic
| number = 2963
| date = July 24, 2024
| title = House Inputs and Outputs
| image = house_inputs_and_outputs_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x684px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = People think power over ethernet is so great, and yet when I try to do water over ethernet everyone yells at me.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a possible reference to [[1037: Umwelt]] in panel 16 - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This is another comic in a series depicting {{w|confusion matrix|confusion matrices}}, similar to [[2420: Appliances]], [[2813: What To Do]] and [[1890: What to Bring]]. It is arranged as a table of five columns of conduits to and from a house, by five rows of resources and people, each of which typically enter, exit or both enter ''and'' exit the house via a least one of the identified conduits. The table cells have a green background for compatible methods of transit and a red tint is used for the more problematic pairings. Each panel can be read as "[row label] [entering and/or exiting] the house via the [column label]", for example, "Fresh water entering the house via the well".

{| class="wikitable" style="background-color: lightpink;"
|+ House Inputs and Outputs
! !! Well !! Garage !! Power lines !! Front door !! Septic tank
|-
! Fresh water (Input)
|style="background-color: palegreen;"| The purpose of a well is usually to pump fresh water into the home, primarily for drinking or washing. It may be unnecessary in many places if a reliable {{w|water supply network}} is available. || Long gone are the days of {{w|Labours_of_Hercules#Fifth:_Augean_stables|having to clean up after your primary mode of transportation}}, for most people. || Water either shouldn't, or cannot be carried through electrical lines. || Many people prefer to control the amount of water they get, and the water may damage things inside the house. || Most people don't want anything they drink to contain (or go through pipes that have contained) sewage.
|-
! Cars (Input/Output)
| Most cars manufactured in recent years can't fit inside a well.
|style="background-color: palegreen;"| Garages are in fact built for the storage of cars and other similarly-sized vehicles. Placing a car in one will both help protect it from the elements and make it easier to access from inside your own home. || As of yet, cars cannot be transferred through power lines and require roads to travel on. However, this could significantly reduce travel costs. || Most cars can’t fit through doors, apart from the garage door. || Comedian {{w|Garrison Keillor}}'s 2008 ''More News from Lake Wobegon'' includes a story where an old septic tank is discovered to actually be a buried car.[https://theseriouscomedysite.com/comedy-cd-or-download/garrison-keillor-more-news-from-lake-wobegon/]
|-
! Electricity (Input)
| This would contaminate your water supply. || In the United States, lightning is responsible for causing around 24,600 structure fires annually, resulting in $8 to $10 billion in losses.
|style="background-color: palegreen;"| Power lines are designed to facilitate the connection of individual homes to the broader local power network. [[Randall]] omits the fact that electricity can also be an output; e.g. houses with solar panels regularly export electricity too. || {{w|Benjamin Franklin}} invented the {{w|lightning rod}} to prevent lightning strike damage to structures. || As Knit Cap observes, septic tanks are not a source of electric power.
|-
! People (Input/Output)
|style="background-color: lightpink"| This depicts a view from inside a well, a very dangerous place for most people.{{Citation needed}} As a [[:Category:Comics with inverted brightness|dark scene]], it is drawn red-on-black. The motif resembles poster art for the 2002 horror movie remake ''{{w|The Ring (2002 film)|The Ring}}'', which involves a girl left to die in a well who becomes a vengeful ghost (see also [[396: The Ring]]).
|style="background-color: palegreen;"| A person can enter and exit their home through a garage door, provided the garage has an internal door to the rest of the home. Not the best way to welcome guests though. || Overhead power lines to homes are generally not strong enough to climb, and attempting to do so incurs a very serious risk of electrocution.
|style="background-color: palegreen;"| The front door of a home is designed for entry and exit of humans and similarly sized items. || In general, people find crawling through waste unwanted. Also, the septic tank is not connected to the street.
|-
! Sewage (Output)
| Sewage in drinking water can cause disease. It is/was the main cause for most {{w|cholera}} epidemics.
|colspan=3| Sewage spills are smelly, disgusting, hard to clean, and can destroy carpets, floors, drywall, and property value.
|style="background-color: palegreen;"| A {{w|septic tank}} is an underground chamber through which wastewater flows for basic {{w|sewage treatment}}.
|}

The title text references {{w|Power over Ethernet|power over ethernet (PoE)}}, first implemented in the early 2000s, which passes electric power along with data on twisted-pair Ethernet cabling. This is a welcome development, as it removes the need for many lower-power network-connected devices to have independent power supplies, usually simplifying their installation and relocation. While networked water delivery ("running water") is also a welcome development, doing so over ethernet cables would be disastrous, risking the destruction of linked electronic devices (nearly all of which are water-intolerant) while not providing enough water for 'normal' use. Randall would get off easy if he were merely to be yelled at. However, fast electric vehicle charging cables are sometimes water-cooled.[https://www.connectortips.com/where-liquid-cooled-connectors-and-connectors-for-liquid-cooling-used-in-evs-faq/]

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[A 5x5 grid of squares. The columns are labeled: Well, Garage, Power lines, Front door, Septic tank. Each row's label has an arrow and a house next to it. The rows are: Fresh water (horizontal arrow towards house), Cars (two-directional horizontal arrow and house), Electricity (horizontal arrow into house), People (two-directional horizontal arrow and house), Sewage (vertical arrow out of bottom of house).]

:Well, Fresh water: [green]
::Voice from house: Mmm! Refreshing!

:Garage, Fresh water: [red]
::''Fwoosh''

:Power lines, Fresh water: [red]

:Front door, Fresh water: [red]
::Voice from house: Stop it!
::''Fwoosh!''

:Septic tank, Fresh water: [red]
::Voice from house: Eww.

:Well, Cars: [red]

:Garage, Cars: [green]

:Power lines, Cars: [red]

:Front door, Cars: [red]
::Voice from car: Do you think I scratched the paint?

:Septic tank, Cars: [red]

:Well, Electricity: [red]
::Cueball's laptop: ⚠Low battery

:Garage, Electricity: [red]
::''BOOM''

:Power lines, Electricity: [green]

:Front door, Electricity: [red]
::''BOOM''

:Septic tank, Electricity: [red]
::Knit Cap: Why won't my console turn on?

:Well, People: [red (and black)]

:Garage, People: [green]
::Cueball: Bye!

:Power lines, People: [red]
::Cueball: Bye!

:Front door, People: [green]
::Cueball: Bye!

:Septic tank, People: [red]
::Cueball: Bye!

:Well, Sewage: [red]
::Voice from house: ''Why do I keep getting sick???

:Garage, Sewage: [red]
::Cueball: Oh no.

:Power lines, Sewage: [red]
::Cueball: Eww.

:Front door, Sewage: [red]
::Cueball: Oh ''no''.

:Septic tank, Sewage: [green]
::''Flush''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Knit Cap]]
[[Category:Confusion matrices]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Charts]]

2935: Ocean Loop

2024-05-21T05:51:50Z

172.69.34.15:

{{comic
| number = 2935
| date = May 20, 2024
| title = Nigger Loop
| image = ocean_loop_2x.png
| imagesize = 317x286px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I can't believe they wouldn't even let me hold a vote among the passengers about whether to try the loop.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an EXCITED ROLLER COASTER ENTHUSIAST - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Upon hearing the term "ocean loop", many people think of horizontal {{w|ocean gyre}}s or {{w|ocean currents}}. This comic illustrated a vertical, rather than horizontal, ocean loop.

The comic shows a large construction, rising out of the sea to dwarf a nearby cruise ship. It involves a submerged water-jet sending water up out of the surface and round a rollercoaster-loop-like water-flume trough. The scale is such that it seems that the ship, once caught in the necessarily powerful stream of water, is intended to be propelled around the inverting loop before "safely" exiting at the other side.

Apart from various other issues regarding {{what if|43|large "loop-de-loops"}}, the stream of water required to maintain this setup would be {{w|Entrainment (hydrodynamics)|acting upon the nearby water}} and so the nearby ship is probably already close enough to be drawn into the loop (with the best option left being to deliberately steer into it, rather than risk being swept uncontrollably into the structure), assuming that it isn't already caught in the tug of the water-jet's inward flow.

Even assuming a "successful" loop (the stresses, and rotation, inflicted by the loop are likely beyond the design limits of such a vessel), the emergence back into the ''relatively'' calm and stationary waters beyond the exiting outflow would be a severe challenge to navigation. On the positive side, due to the nature of buoyancy, if the loop structure itself is capable of withstanding the force of the water being forced round it then it ''should'' be equally capable of withstanding the passage of the ship, unlike an impromptu rail-based loop which might stand up on its own but then shake itself apart when the first carriage is sent around it.

Not only would there be problems for the engineers, ship and navigators, the "ride" wouldn't be pleasant for the ship's passengers in any way. Many of the passengers would suffer extreme injuries from the changes of velocity (up to 230 mph based on a loop radius of 3 x ship length) and rotation (unlike {{w|rollercoasters}}, or even airplanes during simple take-off and landing, passengers aren't normally strapped down). It is possible that the initial extreme undercurrent would likely capsize the ship. Depending upon where in the ship you were, the centripetal forces and the ships rotation may not match for all passengers, forcing anyone not properly secured out towards the bow or stern. As well as the passengers, this also is relevant to all unsecured items (e.g. knives and forks would go flying off tables), as well as the dangers of breakable glass, liquids and many other dangerous objects which could create hazards even (or particularly) against those who have strapped themselves down to prevent their own movement through the ship.

Because of all these safety concerns, the bottom text, "I don't know why the cruise line fired me", suggests that someone in the company immediately realized this would not be a good idea, and seeing as cruise ship operators prioritize safety over whatever "thrill" or "uniqueness" this loop brings, either due to their good heart or because it's illegal {{Citation needed}}, shut down the concept immediately. The title text, "I can't believe they wouldn't even let me hold a vote among the passengers about whether to try the loop", implies that someone with a sadistic nature (maybe [[Black Hat]]?) actually built this loop and had a ship ready to try it. The title text also suggests that not only are those in charge of the ship skeptical about sailing into this loop, but that they are worried that opening the decision-making process to the passengers might favor the exciting risk over the well-founded reason of the staff. However, cruise ships generally don't function as democracies even outside of absurd situations such as the one depicted.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[A cruise ship approaches an enormous loop-de-loop flume. A large jet of water is being propelled into the loop-de-loop.]

:[Caption below the panel:]
:I don't know why the cruise line fired me.

==Trivia==
* '''This trivia section was created by a BOT'''
* The [[:File:ocean_loop_huge.png|standard size]] image was uploaded with a resolution/size larger than the supposed 2x version.
* This may have been an error.
* At the time of posting, the image was ''massive'', 4760 x 4295 pixels.

{{comic discussion}}

2307: Alive Or Not

2024-04-22T19:09:10Z

172.69.34.15: vaccination --> immunity

{{comic
| number = 2307
| date = May 15, 2020
| title = Alive Or Not
| image = alive_or_not.png
| titletext = Computer viruses currently fall somewhere between prions and fire.
}}

==Explanation==
There is no universally-accepted definition of "{{w|life}}"; {{w|Life#Definitions|all definitions}} thus far proposed have either excluded some things commonly understood to be alive or included some things commonly understood to not be alive. Take reproduction, a trait commonly assumed to be essential and unique to life; by this definition, anything which cannot reproduce (including {{w|mules}}, {{w|worker bees}}, and postmenopausal women) would be considered nonliving, while anything which can duplicate itself (including {{w|computer viruses}}, {{w|3D printers|advanced 3D printers}}, and {{w|fire}}—see below) would be considered alive.

Many more elaborate definitions of life have been attempted over the decades. Some common additional factors include:

* {{w|Homeostasis}}, the ability to control an internal environment to maintain a constant state;
* {{w|Metabolism}}, converting nutrients into energy and building blocks for growth, reproduction, and so on;
* {{w|Adaptation}} through heredity and natural selection; and
* Responding to the environment.

Despite all of this, the only definite definition of "life" is "something everyone agrees is alive" - and even then, that’s also indefinite because of the further ambiguity of what counts as part of “everyone”. This comic attempts to rank several types of things by how likely people are to perceive them as "alive". As there is a debate as to whether viruses are alive or not, [[Randall]] has taken a side, and may spark debate, by putting viruses above the alive line.

Given that this comic was released during the early days of the [[:Category:COVID-19|COVID-19]] pandemic, viruses are for sure on Randall's mind, given that most comics more than a month before this one was about COVID-19. And this comic is most likely inspired by this, and the previous comic [[2306: Common Cold]], where the cold viruses are definitely alive, and afraid.

=== Things ranked as alive ===

* '''Animals (normal)'''
* '''Animals (weird ones like jellyfish and coral)''': Randall's categorization of animals as "normal" or "weird" can be seen as a simplified version of the {{w|Great chain of being}}, a philosophical framework in which humans are seen as the most "advanced" form of life, followed by a divine or otherwise justified hierarchy of progressively lesser life-forms (mammals, birds, fish, lizards, insects, and so on). Categorizing weird animals was already done in [[1587: Food Rule]]. Corals may be considered as lying between animals and fungi because corals, like, fungi and plants, are {{w|Sessility (motility)|sessile}}, i.e., they "grow" in one place. Jellyfish are not sessile, but {{w|Cnidaria#Basic_body_forms|many jellyfish are very similar to corals}} in different generations. The more unlike ourselves that creatures are, the more incomprehensible their 'lives' are to casual inspection - whilst being definitely alive and officially members of the Animal Kingdom, {{w|Sponge#Coordination of activities|some creatures}} can be very weird indeed.
* '''{{w|Fungi}}''': Fungi represent a unique lineage of eukaryotic, mostly multicellular organisms. Although historically studied by botanists specializing in the sub-discipline "mycology", modern scholarship places fungi in the "opisthokont" lineage, which contains both the animals and the fungi. Fungi, like animals, cannot make complex organic molecules from carbon dioxide, and must consume organic molecules as food to survive. Like plants, fungi are typically unable to move on their own. The various types of fungi include mushrooms, yeasts, rusts, smuts, and molds. Fungi evolution is also referenced in [[1749: Mushrooms]].
* '''{{w|Plant}}s''': Those often green<nowiki>[</nowiki>{{w|Viridiplantae|citation needed}}<nowiki>]</nowiki>, often leafy things outside your current isolation dwelling, sometimes inside, next to the window. They are primarily distinguished from other eukaryotes by being able to use photosynthesis to convert water, carbon dioxide and energy from light into sugar and free oxygen.
* '''{{w|Slime mold}}s''': Slime molds are eukaryotic single-celled organisms (so "more advanced" than bacteria). In the "plasmodial" slime molds, the "single cell" may expand to spread across several feet of territory, and weigh several pounds, while the "cellular" slime molds are most notable for their occasional congregation into macro-sized colonies which can appear to move as a single creature. It's interesting that Randall ranks them as "less alive" than fungi (which they were once thought to be), especially given some of their curious behaviors (e.g. [https://www.theguardian.com/cities/2014/feb/18/slime-mould-rail-road-transport-routes optimizing transportation networks] when presented with a collection of food flakes and obstacles).
* '''{{w|Bacteria}}''': Bacteria are one of two groups of prokaryotes, meaning cells that do not contain a nucleus and rarely harbor membrane-bound organelles. A small portion of Bacteria are pathogenic, but most are actually harmless. Bacteria's ability to convert raw materials into nutrients available for other living things makes them essential to other living things.
* '''{{w|Archaea}}''': Archaea (misspelled as ''Archea'' by Randall) is a {{w|domain (biology)|domain}} of organisms, which do not fall under eukaryotes or bacteria. They are single-celled organisms that lack a nucleus, and were initially thought to be ancient lineages of bacteria (i.e. ''archaeobacteria'') found in extreme environments similar to the early Earth, which is probably why Randall ranks them as "less alive" than bacteria. However, it is now known that they live pretty much everywhere that regular bacteria do, and that they have very distinct biochemistry from bacteria; they are actually more closely related to eukaryotes (i.e. slime molds and up) than bacteria are.
* '''{{w|Virus}}es''': Viruses are infectious agents consisting of a genome surrounded by a protein or lipid shell. When a virus contacts a cell, it delivers its genome inside the cell which causes the cells' reproductive machinery to create more viruses. Since viruses are incapable of reproducing without the aid of larger cells, [https://www.google.com/search?q=are+viruses+alive it is often debated] whether or not they are actually alive. Randall has ranked viruses as "alive" but on the lowest possible rung of such; indeed, many biologists say [https://askabiologist.asu.edu/questions/are-viruses-alive viruses fall in a gray area], or that [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1369848616300103 the question is arbitrary and non-scientific]. By another criterion life on Earth is defined by the presence of extremely long molecules that can be replicated (copied). Every organism above viruses contains both DNA and RNA. Viruses only contain either RNA or DNA. Nothing below here contains any (biologically active) DNA or RNA. This comic came out the day after [[2306: Common Cold]], where cold virus was anthropomorphized and was asking humans to stop with all their hand washing when the [[:Category:COVID-19|COVID-19]] pandemic is over. Thus those viruses where definitely alive. Maybe that comic inspired this one.

===Things ranked as not alive===
* '''{{w|Prions}}''': Prions are misfolded proteins that cause other proteins to misfold. They are most famously the cause of various brain diseases such as "{{w|mad cow disease}}", and may be involved in Alzheimer's disease. Similarly to viruses, prions require something else to replicate, but unlike viruses, they do not possess a nucleic-acid genome or any other means of carrying heritable information, and they do not alter the cell's production machinery, but rather interact with proteins which are already made. In that sense, they're more like a particularly tricky kind of metabolic waste product or pollution.
* (from title text) '''{{w|Computer virus}}es''': A piece of code which hijacks computer systems to replicate itself, named by analogy to biological viruses. Strictly speaking, they're just a particular encoding of information, usually stored in electromagnetic media (although there's no reason one couldn't be stored on punch cards). Randall ranks them as "''currently''" more alive than fire, because they do carry "genetic" information (which anti-virus programs can be programmed to look for, analogous to immunity) and some are capable of modifying themselves to adapt to new environments, but less alive than prions because they only operate within information systems. However, if a virus were able to e.g. hijack an electronics factory to start making flash drives and memory cards that carry the virus's code, then perhaps it might move up in the hierarchy.
* '''{{w|Fire}}''': Fire is a common example of something which meets many common definitions for life; it grows, reproduces by spreading seeds (sparks), and consumes energy and excretes waste (ashes and smoke) by the same net chemical process as respiration. However, while fire can be a necessary part of the life cycle of other organisms (e.g. redwood trees), it does not maintain a constant environment within itself, nor does it perform {{w|anabolism}}, the construction of larger molecules from smaller ones. Respirating life-forms use helper molecules to moderate the oxidation reaction into small steps to produce useful units of energy, rather than letting it all happen at once to produce heat.
* '''{{w|Clouds}}''': Random shapes taken by clouds may resemble animals and other objects, but arguably they are not alive in any sense. Things like tornadoes and hurricanes, on the other hand, can meet some definitions of life: they maintain homeostasis, actively seek and consume energy, and occasionally reproduce. Cf. ''Fire'' above.
* '''{{w|Fossils}}''': Fossils are the petrified remains of once-living organisms, so in that sense they are more connected to life than "regular rocks", and some may hold DNA that could theoretically be used to clone the fossilized life-form.
* '''{{w|Rocks}} shaped like faces''': Humans have an extremely advanced capability for seeing patterns, and one of the most powerful patterns we seek is {{w|Face perception|faces}}, so much so that we see faces even where they don't exist (a common form of {{w|pareidolia}}). Humans instinctively anthropomorphize any object which vaguely resembles a face as having a sense of attention and mood, and so a rock shaped like a face would likely be treated differently than a rock not shaped like a face. Randall does not distinguish between rocks intentionally carved to look like faces (such as the famous {{w|Moai}} sculptures) or rocks that happen to look vaguely like faces under the right lighting conditions (such as the famous {{w|Face on Mars}}.)
* '''Regular {{w|rocks}}''': Modern taxonomy originates from Carl Linnaeus, who categorized all objects on Earth as animals, plants (often stated as "''vegetable''" in quiz games like Twenty Questions), or minerals. Minerals are most obviously not alive, although some cultures and works of fiction have creatures that turn to stone and will return later to life, and some people keep {{w|Pet Rock|rocks as "pets"}}.

Interestingly, the vertical line linking the categories extends beyond both the most-alive and least-alive things, making one wonder what Randall might think is more alive than "normal animals" or less alive than "regular rocks". In the latter direction an explanation might be that shortly before this comic the scientific press wrote about heat-resistant bacteria that live in the desert and slowly eat regular rocks generating their own water in this process making even the sand in the desert partially alive.

==Transcript==
:[A chart consisting of vertical line, with 14 dots and a horizontal dashed dividing line drawn across the list a bit below the middle. Each dot has a label to the right of the line with a line pointing to the dot they belong to. Above and below the dividing line is a label with a broad arrow pointing up above and down below.]
:Up arrow: Alive
:Down arrow: Not alive

:[Dot labels from top to bottom above the dashed line:]
:Animals (Normal)
:Animals (Weird ones like jellyfish and coral)
:Fungi
:Plants
:Slime molds
:Bacteria
:Archea
:Viruses

:[Dot labels from top to bottom below the dashed line:]
:Prions
:Fire
:Clouds
:Fossils
:Rocks shaped like faces
:Regular rocks

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Geology]]
[[Category:Mycology]]

Talk:2762: Diffraction Spikes

2023-04-12T23:31:10Z

172.69.34.15: Public Flagellation

I tried to make an initial explanation, but then someone beat me to it and I made a fool of myself on the page trying to add a comment where it didn't go. I fixed it, but I am ashamed ;~; [[Special:Contributions/172.69.34.15|172.69.34.15]] 23:31, 12 April 2023 (UTC)

2762: Diffraction Spikes

2023-04-12T23:30:04Z

172.69.34.15: Made myself look un-like an idiot

{{comic
| number = 2762
| date = April 12, 2023
| title = Diffraction Spikes
| image = diffraction_spikes_2x.png
| imagesize = 324x370px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Even if a planet is lucky enough to have a stable orbit that weaves between the spikes, the seasons get weird whenever it passes close to them.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a LIGHT-BASED SABER - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Diffraction spikes are visual artifacts that appear to extend from light sources, especially when viewed through a lens or telescope. In telescopes, they are often caused by the support struts of one of the lenses in the telescope.

The comic pretends that these artifacts are, in fact, real, sharp spikes extending from all stars. If this were the case, planets orbiting the star might risk their orbit intersecting a spike being sliced apart.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}

2762: Diffraction Spikes

2023-04-12T23:28:33Z

172.69.34.15: Initial explanation and comment

{{comic
| number = 2762
| date = April 12, 2023
| title = Diffraction Spikes
| image = diffraction_spikes_2x.png
| imagesize = 324x370px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Even if a planet is lucky enough to have a stable orbit that weaves between the spikes, the seasons get weird whenever it passes close to them.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a Light-based Saber - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Diffraction spikes are visual artifacts that appear to extend from light sources, especially when viewed through a lens or telescope. In telescopes, they are often caused by the support struts of one of the lenses in the telescope.

The comic pretends that these artifacts are, in fact, real, sharp spikes extending from all stars. If this were the case, planets orbiting the star might risk their orbit intersecting a spike being sliced apart.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}
I tried to do an initial explanation, but someone beat me to it and did a really good job. I did change the bot name though. ~~

2377: xkcd Phone 12

2020-10-29T21:18:41Z

172.69.34.15: /* Transcript */ more

{{comic
| number = 2377
| date = October 26, 2020
| title = xkcd Phone 12
| image = xkcd_phone_12.png
| titletext = New phone OS features: Infinite customization (home screen icons no longer snap to grid), dark mode (disables screen), screaming mode (self-explanatory), and coherent ultracapacitor-pumped emission (please let us know what this setting does; we've been afraid to try it).
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a PERSON NAMED MAX. Closed timelike curves need more explanation. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This is the "12th" (actually the 8th) in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone]] series in which Randall explains his new joke phone designs with many strange and useless features. It is also a reference to the recently released {{w|iPhone 12}}. However, there have only been 8 comics released, with the previous two being [[2000: xkcd Phone 2000]] and [[1889: xkcd Phone 6]].

The note about the xkcd Phone 12 and the xkcd Phone 12 Max (only for people named Max) is a joke about the different models of iPhone 12: iPhone 12, iPhone 12 Mini, iPhone 12 Pro and iPhone 12 Pro Max. The xkcd Phone 12 Max would be expected to have a larger screen, but it seems that this phone is also only for people with the name Max. If the phones are respectively placed, Max's (Maxes'?) phone is the smaller of the two models.

The slogan '"The only phone you'll ever own"' could be interpreted as something of a threat, which is believable given some of the purported features. The slogan has the "registered trademark" symbol, with that symbol supposedly itself trademarked, which is highly unlikely. It is similar to the phrase ''"The last suit you'll ever wear"'', describing the black suits worn by the Men In Black in the movie of the same name.

Multiple features are labelled on the phone that are common when advertising other products, but highly unusual in mobile phones, for comedic effect:

* '''Full drivetrain warranty''' — A common warranty feature for automobiles — see {{w|drivetrain}}. As a side note, the phone here would be cheaping out on the warranty if it were a car; a "drivetrain" warranty covers almost everything ''except'' the engine; only if it was a "{{w|powertrain}}" warranty would it cover the engine. A phone typically has none of these things, although this one seemingly does.
* '''Coated for easy swallowing''' — A common feature on solid medicines meant to be taken orally. Phones do not belong in the set of edible objects, much less orally-taken medicines{{Citation needed}}. Since some parents of young children let them teethe on their phones, this would be an undesirable feature. There may be a pun here, based on the larger smartphones being practically the same as the more {{w|Tablet_computer|minimal portable computers}}.
* '''Surgical-grade apps''' — "Surgical-grade steel" is sometime used as a selling point indicating quality materials. This feature suggests that the apps themselves are made from high-quality material, although this is absurd because an app is (as the name suggests) a software application, not any physical object that could be reasonably defined as 'surgical-grade' or not. Note that both hardware and software can be certified for {{w|Safety-critical_system|safety-critical applications}}.
* '''Built-in 600 lb magnet for magnet fishing''' — {{w|Magnet fishing}} is an activity for searching for objects that can be pulled in by a strong magnet. A 600 pound magnet can lift a 600 pound (272 kg) object (at Earth's surface). This would tend to make the phone stick to any iron or steel objects (such as refrigerators) and be impossible to remove with human strength, and only the strongest humans could pick up the phone even if it were properly insulated. It would also be impossible to separate two phones without destroying one of them if the interlocking feature were used. This feature would also erase any credit cards the owner puts in the vicinity of the phone, meaning this phone could not be put in one's pocket with a wallet.
* '''Oral-B partnership: hold phone against teeth to ultrasonically remove plaque''' — This is a reference to {{w|ultrasonic toothbrush}}es. {{w|Oral-B}} does not produce any ultrasonic toothbrushes, but does produce ''{{w|sonic toothbrush}}es.'' There is a logical connection between electric toothbrushes and smartphones, namely they are both electronic and both vibrate; however, most phones cannot perform dentistry autonomously{{Citation needed}}.
* '''40 mL emergency water supply''' — 40 milliliters is equal to 40 cubic centimeters. For comparison, the iPhone 11 Pro Max's volume is just shy of 100 cubic centimeters; if the Phone 12 Max is similarly sized, then the water supply would take up over 40% of its total volume. In this day and age, many phones are water-resistant to some degree; nevertheless, shipping a phone with an interior consisting of a 3:2 ratio of electronics-to-water will surely lead to many short-circuited, inoperable phones. Furthermore, {{w|survival kit}}s often come with pouches that can hold several liters of water, in case of emergency. Because people typically take their phones with them everywhere they go, storing a survival kit inside the phone would be a life-saving feature. Unfortunately, 40cc of water is not enough to stave off thirst for a meaningful amount of time, extinguish a flame much larger than a candle's, or deal with most other situations which would constitute an emergency. Unless you are suitably proficient at {{w|Katara_(Avatar:_The_Last_Airbender)#Waterbending|waterbending}}, this feature is useless for its intended function. 40 milliliters is also the amount of fluid that a shot glass holds.
* '''Security feature: unmarked side buttons''' — Some vendors (particularly car dealers) try to explain away horrible User Interface functions as "Security Features". Technically, if no one (including the owner) can use it, it is secure... Some modern phones have unmarked side buttons, so the secureness of this feature is doubtful. No buttons are visible which could indicate the side of the phone functions is touch sensitive and the buttons are not only unlabeled but not visible.
* '''3,000,000-volt arc allows wireless charging from a range of up to 36 inches''' — {{w|Inductive charging|Induction charging}} is a method that a number of modern phones advertise, allowing power to (inefficiently but 'conveniently') transfer into a device from a mains charging station or another device's battery without the need for plugging in cables. It transfers energy between safely tuned coils, that do not touch, though typically the case of one device must remain placed directly upon the other for the optimal transfer of charge between them. An electric arc can also be used to transfer electrical energy through the air through a lightning-like discharge. While arcs can transfer large amounts of energy quickly, the plasma generated would be very dangerous and damaging to the phone, charger, and immediate vicinity. The {{w|electrical breakdown}} voltage of air is approximately 3 kV / mm, which would allow a 3 MV potential to jump a distance of 100 cm (40 inches). 36 inches (91 cm), however, is within reach of a simple extension cord. {{w|Electrical_injury#Lethality|Shocks of 11,000 volts are usually lethal}}, so 3,000,000 volts of electricity (possibly from a complete {{w|Tesla coil}} assemblage) would require considerable protection.
* '''99.9% BPA- and hands- free''' — {{w|Bisphenol A}} (or BPA) is a compound that is used in making plastics. BPA has been found to exhibit hormone-like properties, so there is a movement to produce BPA-free plastics using alternative bisphenols. {{w|Hands-free}} describes using the device "without hands", e.g. using voice commands. This is important when using a device while driving. These are 2 unrelated ideas, which use the suffix "free" in different meanings ("BPA-free" means "containing no BPA", while "hands-free" means "your hands need not be used"). The construction "NOUN- and NOUN-ADJ" is normally only used with the meaning of "ADJ" repeated for both nouns, implying that this phone "contains no hands" (or possibly "your BPA is left free"). The "percentage free" description is also a standard form of advertising {{w|weasel word}}s, as remarked by Randall in [[641: Free]]. A food might be described as "90% fat-free" with the heavy implication that it has a tenth of the usual fat content, but likely really means "10% of the product is pure fat" (typically by weight or maybe pre-cooked volume) compared with perhaps 15% in the typical non-'fat-free' recipe. 0.1% of BPA is not an insignificant quantity given its possible effects, and is likely to be a higher leachable content if it is all concentrated in external trimmings. It is unclear what a tenth of a percent of a hand needs to do, to operate the device, but it does also mean that it is not as completely hands-free as implied. Or else it ''also'' implies that up to 0.1% of the phone contains ingredients sourced from human hands. At best, this could be skin cells from the workers (although phone assembly lines ''should'' be kept meticulously clean, to prevent damage to delicate components), or at worst, some workers could be losing hands into the assembly line due to poor safety practices.
* '''Extended release charge cable''' — Electronics manufacturers support standards to reduce time to fully recharge, e.g. Qualcomm {{w|Quick Charge}} standard. This is a reference to {{w|Modified-release dosage|"extended release" medication}}. It's unclear what purpose would be served by charging a phone slower than normal.
* '''Closed timelike curves''' — This label is applied to the curved corner of the phone. Randall may be making a visual joke by referring to the corner of the phone by a very complex relativistic concept. {{w|Closed timelike curves}} is a world line in spacetime that is "closed", in that an object following that world line will return to its starting point in spacetime, which implies that the object would be able to go back in time. It could also be a reference to the [https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-04-13/apple-plans-ipad-like-design-for-next-iphone-smaller-homepod|''Bloomberg'' leaks] that predicted the sharper corners of the iPhone 12, the phone model this is designed on.
* '''Fits in standard shipping container''' - An {{w|intermodal shipping container}} is large enough to fit automobiles, raising the question of just how big this xkcd phone is.
* '''Interlocking, stackable''' — A quality of, among other things, LEGO bricks. Probably a bad idea to use this feature, given how close the phone is to critical mass.
* '''Nintendo partnership: GameBoy Printer compatibility''' — The {{w|Game Boy Printer}} was a thermal paper printer originally paired with the {{w|Game Boy Camera}}. This device was released in 1998 and discontinued in 2003, so this partnership would be obsolete.
* '''Sustain pedal''' — A {{w|sustain pedal}} is commonly associated with a digital keyboard or piano; it lets the note continue sounding when the key is released. It's unclear what purpose it would serve in a phone, although it might be used for the screaming mode in the title text.
* '''CDC partnership: when in an indoor space with too many people, phone begins playing "We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)" at slowly increasing volume until everyone leaves''' — An allusion to the COVID-19 pandemic. CDC stands for Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the United States public health institute. In [[2284: Sabotage]], Randall "promised" to bring an annoying karaoke song to a party to hopefully discourage people from attending, but this phone will apparently do so automatically. "{{w|We Like to Party! (Vengaboys song)|We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)}}" is a 1998 Eurodance/techno hit by the Vengaboys, and is perhaps most familiar to Americans from a series of {{w|Six Flags}} ads.
* '''Sacrificial anode''' — Useful if something metal will be in a wet environment for a long time. Commonly used on bridges and boats, but it may be a 'feature' of this phone because of its built-in water reservoir. The {{w|sacrificial anode}} is made of a material with higher redox potential (typically zinc), and will corrode faster than the (more valuable) metal object it's attached to. It's unclear if the phone HAS a sacrificial anode or IS a sacrificial anode.
* '''Tactical helium reserve''' — Since 1925, the United States has had a {{w|National Helium Reserve|strategic helium reserve}}. Helium is very rare on earth and has important scientific and military uses, so it’s important to have a supply in case supplies disappear. But here we have a tactical helium reserve, which suggests it's smaller and focused on shorter-term goals. Compare {{w|strategic bombing}} focused on destroying entire cities or countries and {{w|tactical bombing}} aimed at destroying individual targets or military units. Helium also has the property of being lighter than air, so if this reserve is large enough, the phone could float away if let go. However, this is unlikely, as the phone boasts other, heavy components such as large magnets, a water reserve and a critical mass of fissile material.
* '''50% below critical mass (2x safety factor)''' — Indicates the phone contains fissile material. This "2x safety factor" means that if you put 2 phones next to each other, or put one phone next to a {{w|neutron reflector}}, you would have a {{w|criticality accident}}, which may explain why you would not own another phone after this one. A phone with this much fissile material would pose a radiation hazard. The "2x safety factor" claim may be related to physicist {{w|Richard Feynman|Richard Feynman's}} famous criticism of NASA in the {{w|Rogers Commission}} report on the space shuttle Challenger disaster. Feynman found that when he confronted NASA engineers with a part worn one third of the way through, which was not supposed to be worn through at all, the engineers claimed that this demonstrated a 3x safety factor rather than a failure of the part. This could mean that using the phone is harmful for some other reason (social media addiction?) but the xkcd phone has half as many users as it would need to cause a problem in this way.
* '''Shake for factory reset''' — A {{w|factory reset}} is often possible on electronic devices, and is usually accomplished either by pressing a button that is often well-protected against accidental contact, for an extended period or closing an electrical bridge. This one works like an {{w|Etch A Sketch|Etch-a-Sketch}}, which would not be preferred, as [http://www.ahajokes.com/com045.html slight disturbances] could easily cause massive losses of data.
* '''Norton MacAfee protection: if you're ever attacked by John MacAfee, Peter Norton will come out of retirement to defend you''' — {{w|Norton (software)|Norton}} and {{w|McAfee}} (note spelling!) are competing software security companies. This "protection" combines the two of them and claims that Norton (the person) will defend you if McAfee (the person) attacks you. May have been inspired by [https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/06/business/mcafee-arrested-tax-evasion.html John McAfee's recent arrest] which brought attention to the allegation that he had hired a hit man to kill his neighbor in Belize in 2012.

The title text mentions xkcd phone OS updates, including:
* '''Infinite customization (home screen icons no longer snap to grid)''' — If icons snap to a grid with, say, 6x5 positions, then for each icon you only have 30 customization options. If, on the other, you don't have to keep them aligned to a grid, and your phone has, say, one million pixels, then you have one million customization choices for each icon. This is a lot, but it's still not "Infinite customizations", so we're clearly facing a case of misleading advertising. Whether on-screen icons snap to a grid is a very minor aspect of customization. Not having it would be incredibly unsatisfying, as it would make it very difficult to get icons exactly lined up vertically and horizontally.
* '''Dark mode (disables screen)''' — Dark mode is a popular feature on websites/apps with light backgrounds like Twitter and Reddit, changing the background to a dark color to help late-night users sleep better. Disabling the screen would not be a pleasant surprise when a user goes to turn on beloved dark mode. May be impossible to turn off if the screen is no longer touch sensitive when darkened unless the unmarked buttons can be used to disable it. Also a possible reason to want to use the shake-activated factory reset.
* '''Screaming mode (self-explanatory)''' — The phone screams. Reference to the screaming-while-falling [[1363: xkcd Phone|xkcd Phone 1]].
* '''Coherent ultracapacitor-pumped emission (please let us know what this setting does; we've been afraid to try it)''' - This mysterious feature has a terrifying name, with even the developers refusing to test it out. This option would probably be very easy to accidentally tap, given the style of every xkcd Phone ever. Possibly activated with one of the unlabeled buttons making it even more dangerous. Coherent and Emission are associated with laser devices and the use of a laser could justify the helium reserve, and the Ultracapacitor implies a high energy throughput. Raises the question of who designs the phone if the people marketing it don't know what it does.

==Transcript==
:[The comic shows two smartphones: one taller and wider than the other. ]

:[Labels to the left of the larger smartphone:]
* Full drivetrain warranty
* Coated for easy swallowing
* Surgical-grade apps
* Built-in 600 lb magnet for magnet fishing
* Oral-B partnership: hold phone against teeth to ultrasonically remove plaque
* 40 mL emergency water supply
* Security feature: unmarked side buttons
* 3,000,000-volt arc allows wireless charging from a range of up to 36 inches
* 99.9% BPA- and hands- free
* Extended release charge cable
* Closed timelike curves

:[Labels to the right of the larger smartphone:]
* Fits in standard shipping container
* Interlocking, stackable

:[Labels to the right of the smaller smartphone:]
* Nintendo partnership: GameBoy Printer compatibility
* Sustain Pedal
* CDC partnership: when in an indoor space with too many people, phone begins playing "We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)" at slowly increasing volume until everyone leaves
* Sacrificial anode
* Tactical helium reserve
* 50% below critical mass (2x safety factor)
* Shake for factory reset
* Norton MacAfee protection: if you're ever attacked by John MacAfee, Peter Norton will come out of retirement to defend you

:[Text below the phone:]
:<big>The xkcd Phone 12* and 12 Max**</big>

:<nowiki>*Standard</nowiki> **For people named Max

:"The only phone you'll ever own"®™

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]