explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

Talk:2738: Omniknot

2023-02-15T22:02:23Z

172.69.42.130:

Down the middle, that's Granny, Reef, ...(k)not sure.., ?bow line and two half hitches? and something of a plaited-knot that the name escapes me entirely right now (but an extension of the other one I can't identify). I'm sure there's a handy online catalogue of knots, to reference, though, before I try to stumble over the side-knots too. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.242.172|172.71.242.172]] 16:05, 15 February 2023 (UTC)

Binding security maximized but unbinding security minimized. RIP, tethered sailor beneath a capsized boat. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.114.78|172.70.114.78]] 16:20, 15 February 2023 (UTC)

This comic is dead on for a facetious rock climbing saying: "If you can't tie a knot, then tie a lot." Based on the tactic some climbing newcomers use, of tying tons of knots all over the place because they aren't confident that any one knot will hold. This tactic is strongly frowned upon - you should learn the right knot, use it, and don't add any extraneous ones.

Somebody on twitter posted an image with the two strings in different colours, which helps to visualize the knots:
https://twitter.com/hollowgrin/status/1625902852387352576
[[User:Rps|Rps]] ([[User talk:Rps|talk]]) 17:08, 15 February 2023 (UTC)

Damn, I traced it myself and I am pretty sure the picture on twitter is better (I will not look, I will only get depressed...) I'd put that coloured picture under "transcript" ;-)[[Special:Contributions/172.68.51.140|172.68.51.140]] 18:05, 15 February 2023 (UTC)

I don't suppose any of you knot-loreheads would care to add an explanation/link to explain "Connecting them with a hitch" from the title text? [[Special:Contributions/172.70.254.231|172.70.254.231]] 21:58, 15 February 2023 (UTC)

A "bend" is a knot that connects two ropes or lines. A "hitch" is a knot that connects a rope (a.k.a. line) to something like a post, loop, or shackle.

2412: 1/100,000th Scale World

2021-01-16T19:06:38Z

172.69.42.130: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2412
| date = January 15, 2021
| title = 1/100,000th Scale World
| image = 1_100000th_scale_world.png
| titletext = The floor should be slightly curved, but we haven't figured out artificial gravity yet, so for now we just added a trace intoxicating gas to the air that messes with your inner ear and gives you a sense that the ground is tilting away from you.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a TOXIC AURORA. The table needs to be filled out, and the explanation needs more work as well. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is a sequel to the [[2411: 1/10,000th Scale World|previous one]]. As in the previous comic, Randall has another seemingly complete copy of Earth, this time at a 1:100,000 scale, with various features and warnings labeled. Again, real-world phenomena are replicated at scale.

{| class="wikitable"
!Rule
!Reason
!Notes
|-
|Our aurora are probably non-toxic but please stop trying to taste them
| The aurora in the image is now temptingly at head height, and presumably look a lot like cotton candy or other inviting foodstuffs.
| The plural of "{{w|aurora}}" should actually be "auroras" or "aurorae".
|-
|No breaking off pieces of the ice caps to put in your drink
|An ice cap is a mass of ice that covers less than 50,000 km2 (19,000 sq mi) of land area.
|Breaking off pieces of ice caps would affect the climate of the scale world.
|-
|Warning: Limited cell network coverage above the ionosphere, crouch down to get more bars
| The ionosphere reflects radio signals, in this case keeping terrestrial cellular phone signals from reaching phones higher up.
|The ionosphere would be at around 48-965 centimeters in the scale world, so visitors would need to place their phones below it to receive cellphone signals.
|-
|Do not step on Mt. Everest
| Mt. Everest, the highest peak on Earth, is several inches tall at 1:100,000 scale.
|Mt. Everest would probably be extremely sharp and puncture your foot.
|-
|Caution! Ocean floor slippery when wet
| Due to the smaller scale, the ocean depths would only be a few inches deep at most; this amount of liquid would cause more of a 'slippery surface' than a 'water region'.
|
|-
|Wear sunscreen; the ozone layer only protects you below the knees.
|The ozone layer is a layer of the Earth's stratosphere that shields the Earth from the Sun's ultraviolet rays.
|The ozone layer is approximately 15-35 kilometers above Earth, or 15-35 centimeters in this scaled world, below knee height. Visitors would need sunscreen to protect them from UV rays. In the real world, most humans live with their bodies entirely below the ozone layer but wear sunscreen anyway, so visitors should probably also wear sunscreen below their knees as well as above if they're going to be visiting around midday.
|-
|Beware of chest-level meteors
|Meteors typically occur (i.e. become more visible than in space) in the mesosphere at altitudes from 76 to 100 km (250,000 to 330,000 ft).
|In the scale world, meteors would occur at 76 to 100 centimeters, around chest height. You'd expect head-level asteroids too, as precursors, but this may be (mutually) covered by the eye-protection against satellite re-entry, below. (I'd personally also suggest a hard-hat.)
|-
| -100° mesopause vest recommended
|The mesopause is the boundary in the earth's atmosphere between the mesosphere and the thermosphere. Due to the lack of solar heating and very strong radiative cooling from carbon dioxide, it is the coldest region on Earth with temperatures as low as -100 °C (-148 °F).
|Without protection, visitors would succumb to hypothermia due to the extremely low temperatures.
|-
|If Lake Tahoe or the Dead Sea dries up, refill them with this 5oz wine glass
|Five ounces, times 100,000<sup>3</sup> (because this is volume, so the linear scale factor applies to each of three dimensions), would be about 150 cubic kilometers, which is the approximate volume of {{w|Lake Tahoe}}; the {{w|Dead Sea}} is recently about 115 cubic kilometers, though it used to be somewhat larger.
|
|-
|Safety glasses required for protection from reentering spacecraft
|It is at approximately head height in this model that de-orbiting spacecraft are at their fastest, depending upon where their decayed or departed original was. At scale, they'd probably equate to a metalworking fragment, perhaps more dangerous in quantity than individually.
|We also tend to know about satellites and fairings returning to Earth and most (unless intended to) won't significantly survive. Meteors (see above) are hard to spot in space unless particularly big, may only be detected when spotted burning up, may be significantly denser/less fragile, and could be traveling five times faster. General head protection may be advised, just in case.
|-
|Do not anger the sprites
| {{w|Sprite (lightning)|Sprites}} are poorly understood electrical phenomena in the upper atmosphere. They are enormous but very short-lived.
| Sprites are also a name given to a form of forest spirit known for mischievous and sometimes harmful behavior. In some fairy tales, a warning would be given to not anger the spirits in case of grave repercussions.
|-
|Please stop digging through the Moho. Staff are tired of cleaning up large igneous provinces.
|Short for the {{w|Mohorovičić discontinuity}}, the Moho is the boundary surface separating the Earth's crust from the mantle. It can be found at a depth of 6-7 miles under the ocean bed, and about 24-30 miles under the continents.
|Using Randall's 1/100,000th scale world, 6-7 miles would be approximately 4 inches, while 24-30 miles would be about 16 inches, making the Moho easily accessible via digging. It would indeed create large igneous provinces, and make a big mess of lava that the staff would have to clean up, which would not be fun {{Citation needed}}. The lava has a decent chance to burn through a mop or something, so it would be pretty tricky to clean up as well since your cleaning items would light on fire unless soaked in water or something.
|-
|ISS (14 feet up) Returns every 90 minutes - Hit it with a nerf dart, win a prize!
| The {{w|International Space Station}} is the largest human-made object in space and orbits the Earth once every 90 minutes.
| This idea of treating modern research as a toy is in the same general panel area as the weather balloon smacking from the previous comic, except instead of a rule preventing people from doing so, this time the visitor is being ''dared'' to attempt it (though it is unclear what the "prize" mentioned in the comic is). Hitting the ISS with a nerf dart in this scaled world would have a potentially devastating effect on the ISS. However, at this scale the ISS would be about a millimeter across, so the point of this dare may be that hitting it so far above your head as it goes by overhead would be very difficult.
|}

The title text states that the floor should be slightly curved. In fact, given that the model in the comic is about 10 meters long, it represents about 1000 km of Earth, which spans about 9 degrees of a great circle. Therefore, if the model wasn't larger than the part shown in the panel, its edges would have a very noticeable slope of 4.5 degrees.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:RULES:
:For visitors to my 1/100,000th scale world
:1 meter = 100 km, 1 ft=100,000ft≈20 miles

:ISS (14 feet up)
:Returns every 90 minutes
:Hit it with a Nerf dart to win a prize!

:Our aurora are probably non-toxic, but please stop trying to taste them

:[one cell bar] Warning: Limited cell network coverage above the ionosphere. Crouch down to get more bars

:Safety glasses required for protection from reentering spacecraft
:Cueball: OW!
:(off-screen): What?
:Cueball: I got a Soyuz in my eye

:Beware of chest level meteors

:-100°C Mesopause vest recommended
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Illustrations of scale]]

Talk:386: Duty Calls

2020-11-12T19:09:08Z

172.69.42.130:

Doesn't look like anyone's touched this during its spotlight as the Incomplete Article of the Day. But really, what else can we say? [[Special:Contributions/199.27.128.66|199.27.128.66]] 03:06, 14 November 2013 (UTC)

Maybe how deeply compelling the "need" to fix something wrong on the Internet is? It's not just a plain correction.... it gnaws at you...[[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.8|108.162.219.8]] 03:17, 14 November 2013 (UTC)

Tried to flesh out/improve the analysis. Still needs some editing for clarity [I'm not sure how formal the tone of this wiki is supposed to be?] but hopefully it's an improvement on the previous edit. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.56|108.162.216.56]] 17:47, 14 November 2013 (UTC)

I think its good. Hits on all the points, unless anyone sees differently I think it adequately explains the comic. I think all the editing from here is flow and stylistic stuff. And that's minimal. --[[User:Lackadaisical|Lackadaisical]] ([[User talk:Lackadaisical|talk]]) 20:22, 14 November 2013 (UTC)

It's a Cunningham's law reference, guys, that's it. {{unsigned ip|141.101.106.155}}

The title "Duty Calls" has a double meaning. One that Cueball needs to go "fix" the internet and that he needs to "be" with his S/O. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.47|108.162.216.47]] 21:04, 26 August 2015 (UTC){{unsigned ip|127.0.0.1}}

I think this explanation misses the case when someone is ''factually'' wrong on the internet, and doesn't just have a different opinion. For example, when someone on Facebook "discovers" that the Mercator map projection is "wrong" and that the "true" one is Gall-Peters (true story), I believe even Randall would feel the need to say something. But of course, the border between factual errors and arguing is very thin... [[Special:Contributions/162.158.150.64|162.158.150.64]] 09:50, 8 June 2017 (UTC)

What about when you are legitimately trying to help someone?

2381: The True Name of the Bear

2020-11-04T08:16:17Z

172.69.42.130: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2381
| date = November 4, 2020
| title = The True Name of the Bear
| image = the_true_name_of_the_bear.png
| titletext = Thank you to Gretchen McCulloch for fielding this question, and sorry that as a result the world's foremost internet linguist has been devoured by the brown one. She will be missed.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by THE BEAR WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}

Talk:2378: Fall Back

2020-11-01T05:14:50Z

172.69.42.130:

Ah, that American thing. Late to The Great War, late to WW2, every year late turning the clocks back in '''autumn'''... ;)
(Seriously, though - at least under xkcd terms - surely [[320|2''9''-hour]] days.) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.159.32|162.158.159.32]] 02:02, 29 October 2020 (UTC)
:That schedule doesn't change the length of the day, though, just the sleep cycle to accommodate 20 hours of wakefulness. [[User:OhFFS|OhFFS]] ([[User talk:OhFFS|talk]]) 16:40, 29 October 2020 (UTC)
[[User:Seebert|Seebert]] ([[User talk:Seebert|talk]]) 19:51, 29 October 2020 (UTC)Yep, both sides are convinced the other side has been in a state of altered consciousness for the past 6 years. And the 20% in the center thinks that both sides have gone insane.

The election has only been bitter to the liberals, because they are going to loose. [[User:SDSpivey|SDSpivey]] ([[User talk:SDSpivey|talk]]) 21:16, 29 October 2020 (UTC)

Hwat? What makes you believe that? Nobody can be absolutely certain at this stage. The election hasn’t happened yet, so it isn’t “bitter” to anyone. Liberals are stressed out about it, because they m I g h t lose

@SDSpivey: Right? I still really like XKCD, but the peppering of political bias in the last few years is irritating. Not everything has to be fused with political commentary. Can't XKCD be it's own thing? It feels like how different TV shows start off great, then with their success start just riding the wistless wave of popular culture and public opinion in a sad attempt to stay relevant without making any substantive commentary (think about Simpsons, for instance). We've gone from normal life being fine to now EVERYONE having to state what side of every issue they're on. Just... be you. Stop making everything about whatever current story is in the news. I miss XKCD being XKCD rather than another player on the public stage imposing their political opinions. Just be a human we can all relate to, no matter the political persuasion. Political ideology doesn't correlate with IQ, and since XKCD caters to an audience with above-average IQ, Randall's making the same mistake as everyone else by isolating half the audience. [[User::Anonymous|Anonymous]] 16:01, 29 October 2020 (MST)
:Randall's only human. He's worried about the world too, since he live in it. He isn't working in a vacuum after all. His life experiences shapes the way he writes, both consciously and subconsciously. And outside 'I'm with Her', he hasn't written a single comic where he explicitly or implicitly states who you should vote for - Only that you SHOULD vote.The others simply explore the consequences the government's and people's decisions have wrought, and general comments on the news cycle.
:Hello, you two. Look at the comic. Look at the explanation. Look in this segment. Look at your two comments in particular. Which bit is stating an actual full on bias/preference? The bit with you two in. We know which way Randall leans as preference, as it happens, but if we thought he leant the other way the same comic coming from the anti-Randall would ''still'' work as well. If you can't see that, the problem isn't with xkcd. (And even if it was, everyone is free to find and appreciate anti-Randall's 'dckx' webcomic. In fact, if you know a good one, I wouldn't mind a look.) As to the result, those who can and wish to vote should do so (if they haven't already) and only when everyone has done that and been tabulated will we know this. If you have a sincere prediction, remember that loads of others have similarly sincere (but dissimilarly tinted) predictions and the universe isn't going to automatically obey your personal preference without everything else lining up. So maybe you'll he lucky. Me, I've got no skin in the game (except as someone living on the same planet) and can't influence the election even by a single vote. This isn't about changing opinions, it's about changing attitudes. And that's even less likely. Meh. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.158.113|162.158.158.113]] 01:02, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
::I have bias, I admit that. Everyone should. All the bitterness I have seen this year has come from the liberals (news reporters, comedians, actors) who claim to care about all of us, but really just care about their own pet projects, or just want to seem like they care.I don't care what my favorite entertainer thinks, just entertain me. That's what we pay you for. [[User:SDSpivey|SDSpivey]] ([[User talk:SDSpivey|talk]]) 02:36, 31 October 2020 (UTC)
:::Yeah, and that's exactly what this comic pokes fun at - all the fearmongering the elites spread through their outlets causing anxiety to shoot through the roof, and in this comic, to such a point that Megan has started dissociating herself.
[citation needed]

944: Hurricane Names

2020-10-22T04:05:38Z

172.69.42.130: mentioned the reporter saying "good luck"

{{comic
| number = 944
| date = August 29, 2011
| title = Hurricane Names
| image = hurricane_names.png
| titletext = After exhausting the OED, we started numbering them. When overlapping hurricanes formed at all points on the Earth's surface, and our scheme was foiled by Cantor diagonalization, we just decided to name them all "Steve". Your local forecast tomorrow is "Steve". Good luck.
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|World Meteorological Organization}} (WMO) maintains [https://public.wmo.int/en/our-mandate/focus-areas/natural-hazards-and-disaster-risk-reduction/tropical-cyclones/Naming lists] of potential names for {{w|tropical cyclones}} in each {{w|tropical cyclone basin}}; {{w|Regional Specialized Meteorological Centre#Tropical cyclones|Regional Specialized Meteorological Centres (RSMCs) and Tropical Cyclone Warning Centres (TCWCs)}} are responsible for assigning those names to tropical cyclones within their respective areas of responsibility. In the {{w|North Atlantic Ocean}} (including the {{w|Gulf of Mexico}} and {{w|Caribbean Sea}} as pictured), the {{w|NOAA}}'s {{w|National Hurricane Center}} (NHC/RSMC Miami) gives names to tropical cyclones (of which {{w|Atlantic hurricane|hurricanes}} are a subset), going through the alphabet (excluding Q, U, X, Y, and Z) and resetting at "A" at the beginning of the year. For example, the North Atlantic storms in 2012 were named "Alberto", "Beryl", "Chris", "Debby", and so on. There are six {{w|Tropical cyclone naming|lists of names}} for the North Atlantic Ocean, which rotate every six years. Storms that are extremely catastrophic are removed from the lists.

If there are more than 21 hurricanes in a season, the 21-letter alphabet becomes exhausted and the hurricanes are named with Greek letters. This has happened only twice: in the {{w|2005 Atlantic hurricane season}}, see [[1126: Epsilon and Zeta|The Saga of Epsilon and Zeta]], and in the {{w|2020 Atlantic hurricane season}}.

There have never been enough cyclones in one season to exhaust both the English and Greek alphabet (which would require more than 45 cyclones in a season; the most so far has been 27), and Randall is hypothesizing what the names would be if this happened. In the comic, the NHC has named the hurricanes using random words out of the {{w|Oxford English Dictionary}} (OED). The humor here is intrinsic: "Hurricane Eggbeater" is a bizarre and hilarious name (and may also refer to how an eggbeater spins and 'destroys' an egg in a similar manner to how a hurricane might affect the surrounding area). The place in the image shown is the Gulf of Mexico and its surroundings, with the land being white, and the ocean, black.

The title text takes this already surreal twist to an even more ridiculous extreme, where an impossibly long hurricane season exceeds 300,000+ storms and exhausts the OED completely. Even when the NHC starts referring to them using {{w|Natural number|counting numbers}}, which will be sufficient to cover an infinite number of hurricanes, they are foiled by a theorem in {{w|set theory}}. In mathematics, the set of all counting numbers is a {{w|countable set}} (as are the set of all integers or all fractions) whereas the set of all points on a surface is an {{w|uncountable set}} (as is the set of all real numbers). {{w|Cantor diagonalization}} is a famous proof that it is impossible to map objects from an uncountable set one-to-one with objects from a countable set. Applying this theorem to hurricanes, if there were to be one hurricane for every possible point on Earth's surface, it would be impossible to assign a distinct counting number to each one. This of course defeats NHC's last-resort naming scheme, but more pertinently, human civilization would be in a ''lot'' of trouble.

At this point, the meteorologists give up and decide to name all the hurricanes "Steve", which is popular on the internet as an arbitrary, generic name. Ironically, this makes "Steve" no longer arbitrary. The reporter then goes on to tell people that their forecast is "Steve" meaning that the hurricanes are everywhere. He says "good luck", which is probably because there are currently hurricanes on all points of the earth's surface at the time of his speaking.

==Transcript==
:[A weather reporter sits behind a desk with an image of the Gulf of Mexico and surrounding land masses displayed to his left. 9 hurricane symbols are scattered across the map, primarily over Cuba.]
:Reporter: After the latest wave of hurricanes, not only have we run through the year's list of 21 names, but we've also used up the backup list of Greek letters. All subsequent storms will be named using random dictionary words.
:Reporter: The newly-formed system in the gulf has been designated "Hurricane Eggbeater", and we once again pray this is the final storm of this horrible, horrible season.

==Trivia==
*There actually was once a {{w|Cyclone Steve}} in the Australian Basin.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:News anchor]]
[[Category:Hurricanes]]

Talk:805: Paradise City

2020-09-25T03:12:21Z

172.69.42.130:

"cortical lesions" may refer to the "Uglies", a 2005 science fiction Orwellian novel by Scott Westerfeld, as it turns out populations is controlled by the way of surgery lesions in the brain to make the people placid --[[User:JakubNarebski|JakubNarebski]] ([[User talk:JakubNarebski|talk]]) 22:20, 9 April 2014 (UTC)
Or it could refer to River Tam (e.g. https://xkcd.com/311/ or https://xkcd.com/406/)

Anyone notice that the third panel preshadowed the Vancouver riots? {{unsigned ip|108.162.250.223}}

edit: moved previously added information to proper paragraph in explanation [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.84|108.162.216.84]] 03:11, 9 January 2015 (UTC)

I have the feeling that the grass in the last panel is different varieties of marijuana, which the girls have thoroughly labeled as such. Consumption of this grass would lead to the sensation described in the title text. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.53.105|173.245.53.105]] 16:21, 22 June 2015 (UTC)

496: Secretary: Part 3

2020-09-19T13:49:03Z

172.69.42.130: Past tense

{{comic
| number = 496
| date = October 29, 2008
| title = Secretary: Part 3
| image = secretary part 3.png
| titletext = He actually installed each piece in a different car in the lot, then built a new car in the spot from the displaced pieces. It's a confusing maneuver known as the auto-troll shuffle.
}}

==Explanation==
When a person has been appointed to be on certain positions<ref>https://www.senate.gov/CRSpubs/74919ab6-b407-451c-b429-702e9ae8dcb1.pdf</ref> by the {{w|POTUS|President}}, they must first go through a confirmation hearing in front of the {{w|United States Senate|Senate}}, the upper house of {{w|United States Congress|Congress}} where they find if the person is qualified to be in the position they have been appointed to. Of course, [[Black Hat]] is not the cleanest of characters, so Congress has a lot of reservations about his {{w|résumé}}.
N.B. when this comic was written Senate confirmation hearings occurred rapidly after a president made a nomination and were expected to prevent unsuitable canditates from being given positions of power.

*{{w|Starbucks}} is an American coffee shop chain.
**He hasn't yet, but in [[562: Parking]], Black Hat will cut someone's car in half to make it fit in a single space. Not quite as dramatic as completely disassembling a car and, as the title text says, putting a single piece in another car parked in the lot, and building a car out of the displaced parts, which could almost be considered subtle; but, it is quite dramatic.
**The title text refers to the Starbucks incident. Taking all the parts from different cars to build in a new car in the same spot parallels the idea in philosophy of the {{w|Ship of Theseus}} in which a question arises of whether a ship is the same ship if it is replaced piece by piece by identical pieces.
*{{w|Charles M. Schulz}} drew a comic called {{w|Peanuts}}. One of the recurring characters was {{w|Snoopy}} who would often use his doghouse as an imaginary {{w|Sopwith Camel}} in many battles with {{w|Manfred von Richthofen|The Red Baron}} who piloted a {{w|Fokker Dr.I|Red Fokker}} {{w|Triplane}}.
**The {{w|Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade}} is a parade that happens on {{w|Thanksgiving (United States)|Thanksgiving Day}} in the US. There are many giant balloons of pop-culture icons. Snoopy has made many appearances. Being the [[classhole]] that he is, Black Hat has shot up the Snoopy float with a stolen Red Fokker triplane, which would be disturbing, especially to the kids watching the parade, who would get the impression that Snoopy has died. His statement that he "Got three mimes, too" just proves his casual disregard for collateral damage.
*{{w|9/11 Truth movement|9/11 Truthers}} believe that the terrorist attack on the {{w|World Trade Center}} towers on September 11, 2001 (thus 9/11) was not actually organized by terrorists, but by the United States government. Black Hat interrupts their conspiracy theory gathering, insisting on a comically exaggerated version of this conspiracy theory in which the attacks did not happen ''at all'' and the World Trade Center is presumably still standing. Such a conspiracy is extremely implausible, as it would require either the involvement of every single person to ever set foot in one of the world's largest cities, or some way to conceal a pair of hundred story tall buildings, which is obviously impossible.{{Citation needed}}. Whether Black Hat actually believes this, or is just trying to troll conspiracy theorists is unknown.
**Black Hat uses a common refrain [[:Category:Sheeple|Wake up, Sheeple]] to insult the senators.
*{{w|RadioShack}} is a chain of consumer electronics shops that sold parts to build electronics with: resistors, transistors, etc. Apparently Black Hat managed to build a death ray from the parts there and accidentally vaporized a customer. His line "Figures that'd be the one day that there'd be a customer in the aisle" refers to the fact that RadioShack stores have been in steady decline over the years, largely propped up by momentum.
*{{w|Microsoft}} is the company that makes {{w|Microsoft Windows|Windows}}, and {{w|Steve Ballmer}} was its {{w|Chief executive officer|CEO}} until being replaced in 2014 by {{w|Satya Nadella}}. {{w|Windows Vista}} is an {{w|operating system}} released in 2007; it was widely panned by software critics. It is unclear how feeding a squirrel through a fax machine could possibly contribute to winning an argument about it, but given Black Hat's almost superhuman abilities to troll and avoid the consequences, it's possible that it could happen.
*{{w|Ruth Bader Ginsburg}} was the second female justice on the {{w|Supreme Court of the United States|Supreme Court}}, appointed by President Clinton. The relevance here is that during her own confirmation hearings, she refused to answer many questions about her personal views, frustrating many Senators (nevertheless, she was confirmed, 96-3). {{w|John Roberts}}, the current Chief Justice, was similarly evasive in his hearings, citing the "Ginsburg Precedent."
*Black Hat stole a nuclear submarine in xkcd [[405: Journal 3]] to get his hat back from [[Danish]]. However, that one was a Russian submarine, and, in 2008 (when this comic was drawn) the US Senate would probably not have held that against a nominee (things might be different in 2019). Perhaps they are indeed referencing that incident, or it could be that he has also stolen an American submarine. Stealing one navy submarine would be impossibly hard, stealing nuclear submarines from not one but two different navies would be practically impossible.
*"Pleading the fifth" is to invoke the {{w|Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fifth Amendment}} of the {{w|United States Bill of Rights}}. Specifically, when someone pleads the fifth, they mean that they cannot be compelled to give testimony against themselves. That is, they do not have to say anything that could be taken as an admission of guilt. The {{w|Third Amendment to the United States Constitution|third amendment}} states that no homeowner has to keep troops of the United States Army in their house against their will in peacetime. Either Black Hat
**Doesn't understand the 3rd Amendment,
**Just chooses this amendment over the 5th to confuse the committee which seems to forget the question,
**Believes the nuclear submarine to be his property, and rather than stealing it he was simply expelling military personnel who were "quartered" in his nuclear sub without his permission,
**Stole the submarine in order to have a convenient place other than his house to quarter troops

The final panels show Ron Paul's blimp finally approaching Washington DC. The balloon spotted on their radar is presumably piloted by blogger {{w|Cory Doctorow}}, as revealed in the next installment, Secretary: Part 4.

All comics in the [[:Category:Secretary|Secretary]] series:
*[[494: Secretary: Part 1]]
*[[495: Secretary: Part 2]]
*496: Secretary: Part 3 (this one)
*[[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
*[[498: Secretary: Part 5]]

This series was released on 5 consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

It is possible that this series is a continuation of [[493: Actuarial]], in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was chosen as Internet secretary.

==Transcript==
:[The confirmation hearings begin.]
:Senator: It appears you have quite an arrest record.

:Senator: Is it true you completely disassembled someone's car outside a Starbucks?
:Black Hat: It was parked across two spaces.

:Senator: You stole a red Fokker triplane and strafed the snoopy float at the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade?

:Black Hat: Got three mimes, too.

:Senator: You disrupted a 9/11 truth meeting, insisting the Twin Towers never actually collapsed?
:Black Hat: I have evidence! Don't trust the media! Wake up, sheeple!

:Senator: You were fired from Radio Shack after you built a death ray and vaporized a customer?

:Black Hat: I was just testing it! Figures that'd be the one day there was a shopper in the aisle.

:Senator: And you were thrown out of Microsoft headquarters for... trying to feed a squirrel through a fax machine?

:Black Hat: I forgot about that! it was part of an argument with Steve Ballmer about Vista.
::Which I won, by the way.

:[Senators look down at their notes.]

:Senator: This is the worst history of vandalism, gleeful mayhem, and general recalcitrance we've seen in a nominee since Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

:Senator: And this-you stole a nuclear submarine?
:Black Hat: I plead the third.

:Senator: You mean the fifth?
:Black Hat: No, the third.

:Senator: You refuse to quarter troops in your house?
:Black Hat: I have few principles, but I stick to them.

:Meanwhile...
:[Aboard Ron Paul's blimp.]
:Ponytail: We're nearing Washington, sir.
::Wait... There's something ahead on the sensors.

:Ponytail: It's a balloon.
:Ron Paul: ...Oh, no.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Secretary|03]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Secretary]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Sheeple]]