explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

Talk:899: Number Line

2023-12-03T17:46:48Z

172.70.175.54:

Where does sqrt(-1) go? [[Special:Contributions/67.78.183.206|67.78.183.206]] 19:07, 2 January 2013 (UTC)

:It goes up (literally above 0). A number line can be extended to a complex plane with sqrt(-1) as the unit of measurement in the vertical direction. Or at least, that's where it actually goes. I don't know where Randall would put it. [[Special:Contributions/75.69.96.225|75.69.96.225]] 01:04, 5 March 2013 (UTC)

I'm sorry...are you indicating the ACTUAL location for an IMAGINARY number? {{unsigned|‎74.213.186.41}}

Yes, that's exactly where it is (up to switching clockwise for counterclockwise). There is nothing strange about providing a location for imaginary or complex numbers, the location described is logical, and the adjective 'imaginary' is an artifact of nomenclature and nothing more.[[Special:Contributions/173.48.140.216|173.48.140.216]] 20:40, 30 March 2013 (UTC)

In fact, complex numbers are nearly more real than real ones! Complex analysis really opened my eyes to how much "stepping out" can help in solving problems. The complex notion of analyticity yields fruit in real analysis. Extensions to hypercomplex numbers are weirder, however. --[[User:Quicksilver|Quicksilver]] ([[User talk:Quicksilver|talk]]) 20:27, 17 August 2013 (UTC)

Analyticity must be an imaginary word, and therefore would be found one unit directly above any dictionary. [[Special:Contributions/50.203.89.169|50.203.89.169]] 14:19, 9 October 2013 (UTC)
:Oh my god, I can't believe how hard I laughed at that. Would an imaginary friend actually be above you then? I'm going to use that sometime. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.61|108.162.219.61]] 21:25, 24 April 2014 (UTC)
:"I'm sorry, you have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate the phone by 90 degrees and try again."[[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.250|141.101.98.250]] 17:01, 21 October 2017 (UTC)

Is unexplored a map reference? [[User:Halfhat|Halfhat]] ([[User talk:Halfhat|talk]]) 17:53, 13 January 2014 (UTC)

Note that the digits 5 and 6 do not show up on any of the numbers in the comic, reinforcing the fact that the integers 5 and 6 are unexplored. [[User:Blitzer|Blitzer]] ([[User talk:Blitzer|talk]]) 02:34, 15 May 2014 (UTC)
:So the 5th digit of pi can not be known either? [[User:Tharkon|Tharkon]] ([[User talk:Tharkon|talk]]) 03:56, 12 July 2014 (UTC)
:: The ''wha''th digit of pi? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.215.119|108.162.215.119]] 01:59, 1 January 2015 (UTC)
Thank God (or someone else, I'm not choosy) that the SCP link here still works. The rest of the site's gone private. {{unsigned ip|108.162.250.223}}

It appears that Wikipedia had noticed the implications of the title text here. The message now says that it might never be complete, but can be expanded with reliably sourced articles. I'm not 100% sure it's due to Randall's involvement, but I like to think so. --[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.17|141.101.104.17]] 22:01, 9 December 2014 (UTC)

I am not American, but the linked Wikipedia Article does not support the claims about president's day being observed between the 2 birthdays of Washington and Lincoln in general, but just that in some states Lincoln is also referenced on that day. Even if it was put as a day between these birthdays by definition and on purpose, I do not see the reference here... Especially as this number is given as specific, unlike presidents day, which can occur in a range of days... Someone who knows more of American culture, and also what "observed" (which would link it to holidays....) can mean in English language please revert this. --[[User:Lupo|Lupo]] ([[User talk:Lupo|talk]]) 12:41, 18 September 2019 (UTC)

The link to "bleem" does not work for me, but the word can be found in Urban Dictionary. ——[[Special:Contributions/172.69.63.161|172.69.63.161]] 02:12, 21 August 2020 (UTC)

While 8 is not the "largest even prime", 9 is in fact the ''lowest odd composite'' number. So 8 is the largest in the unbroken line of natural numbers that are even ''or'' prime (or whatever 1 is). [[Special:Contributions/141.101.76.205|141.101.76.205]] 10:48, 18 January 2023 (UTC)

Surely Gird is a reference to Bleem and to the philosophical concepts of Grue and Bleen? Just as they derive from Blue and Green, so we would have Bird and Gleem. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.98.86|172.71.98.86]] 20:33, 29 November 2023 (UTC)

1 pixel <nowiki>~</nowiki> 0.012
start of unexplored zone <nowiki>~</nowiki> 4.381
end of unexplored zone <nowiki>~</nowiki> 6.714
length of unexplored zone <nowiki>~</nowiki> 2.333
coincedence? [[User:Plushiefan4111|plushie fan]] ([[User talk:Plushiefan4111|talk]]) 00:07, 30 November 2023 (UTC)

For f(f(x))=11x, one example is: write x=a*11^b where a%11>0. If a%11 is odd, let f(x)=(a+1)11^b; otherwise a%11 is even, let f(x)=(a-1)11^(b+1).[[Special:Contributions/172.71.222.235|172.71.222.235]] 03:01, 1 December 2023 (UTC)

Even simpler, let f(x)=-x for x<0 and f(x)=-11x for x>=0.[[Special:Contributions/172.70.175.54|172.70.175.54]] 17:46, 3 December 2023 (UTC)

27: Meat Cereals

2022-05-11T18:48:58Z

172.70.175.54: Undo revision 265508 by 👖🔥 (talk)

{{comic
| number = 27
| date = November 4, 2005
| title = Meat Cereals
| image = meat_cereals.jpg
| titletext = Disgusting
}}

==Explanation==
[[Randall Munroe|Randall]] parodies several real-world breakfast cereals (which typically consist solely of grains and sweet flavorings) by creating versions that contain meat (animal products). The cereals that appear to be parodied (clockwise from top-left) include Froot Loops, Rice Krispies, Honey Bunches of Oats, Apple Jacks, Frosted Flakes, and Cheerios. There does not appear to be a deeper meaning to this comic than that.

The Scrapple Jacks parody (the only slightly obscure reference) appears to be made with {{w|scrapple}}, which, according to Wikipedia, is a mush of pork scraps and trimmings combined with cornmeal and wheat flour, often buckwheat flour, and spices. Real Apple Jacks ran an ad campaign in the 1980s and 1990s in which an adult or authority figure tasted the cereal and declared "these don't taste like apples!", thus missing the point of why kids liked the cereal. The slogan is parodied on the Scrapple Jacks box. Randall referenced this same slogan again in "[[38: Apple Jacks]]".

The title text, reading, "Disgusting.", apparently reflects Randall's opinion of his own creation.

==Transcript==
:[A collection of fictional meat based cereals in bright colors with nice pictures on them.]
:Pork Loops
:Mice Krispies
:Hammios
:Frosted Bacon Flakes
:Scrapple Jacks
::Hey, these don't taste like Scrapple!
:Honey Bunches of Goats

==Trivia==
*This was the 28th comic originally posted to [[LiveJournal]].
**The previous was [[26: Fourier]].
**The next was [[30: Donner]].
*Original title: "Friday's Drawing - Meat Cereals"
*There was no original [[Randall]] quote for this comic.
*This comic was posted on [[xkcd]] when the web site opened on Sunday the 1st of January 2006.
**It was posted along [[:Category:First day on xkcd|with all 41 comics]] posted before that on LiveJournal as well as a few others.
**The latter explaining why the numbers of these 41 LiveJournal comics ranges from 1-44.
*One of the original drawings drawn on [[:Category:Checkered paper|checkered paper]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics posted on livejournal| 28]]
[[Category:First day on xkcd]]
[[Category:Checkered paper]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]

23: T-shirts

2022-05-11T18:48:39Z

172.70.175.54: Undo revision 265596 by 👖🔥 (talk)

{{comic
| number = 23
| date = October 26, 2005
| title = T-shirts
| image = t-shirts.jpg
| titletext = It's depressing how many of these are real shirts
}}

==Explanation==

This comic satirizes the plethora of "snarky" phrase T-shirts that exist today. In the top-left, the character wears a typical (and real) snark shirt, "I see dumb people" (suggesting that the wearer thinks everyone else is dumb, while being a parody of the phrase "I see dead people" from the movie ''{{w|The Sixth Sense}}''). Other shirts shown also suggest that the wearer is better than everyone else, and perhaps the shirts increasingly suggest that the wearer is anti-social moving from top to bottom. Near the bottom of the screen, the T-shirts no longer attempt to be witty and simply have straightforward phrases like "go away" and "die". These are exaggerations of the message that the other more-realistic shirts broadcast.

The final three shirts are also exaggerated shirts that suggest [[Randall]]'s view that people who wear snarky shirts are overcompensating for the fact that they are already alone or perhaps putting up a tough exterior to conceal their sadness that no one would talk to them anyway. Most notably "maybe if this T-shirt is witty enough, someone will finally love me" sums up what Randall thinks snarky shirts really say. There are shirts with this or a similar message, although it is unclear whether they were created before this comic or as a tribute to this comic.

In the title text, Randall says that it's depressing how many of the shirts in the comic actually exist in real life, further underlining the point that these shirts are overly arrogant, to the point where one might believe that Randall made them up. This highlights the inadequacy of substance within these T-shirts and the terror they invoke in Randall's mind.

==Transcript==
:[A collection of phrases on T-shirts. The first and the last on actual black T-shirts worn by the same person, whose facial expression is more sad on the last one.]
:I see dumb people
:As a matter of fact the world <big>does</big> revolve around me
:I can only please one person per day / today is not your day.
:You know what your problem is? You're stupid.
:Get a clue
:Do I look like a people person?
:Your village called / they want their idiot back
:Go away
:I hate you all
:Die.
:Help.
:Maybe if this T-shirt is witty enough, someone will finally love me.
:Oh God I'm so alone.

==Trivia==
*This was the 24th comic originally posted to [[LiveJournal]].
**The previous was [[22: Barrel - Part 3]].
**The next was [[37: Hyphen]].
*Original title: "Wednesday's Drawing"
*Original [[Randall]] quote: "I saw the 'problem' t-shirt (upper right) on campus a few days ago and suddenly felt so sad."
*This comic was posted on [[xkcd]] when the web site opened on Sunday the 1st of January 2006.
**It was posted along [[:Category:First day on xkcd|with all 41 comics]] posted before that on LiveJournal as well as a few others.
**The latter explaining why the numbers of these 41 LiveJournal comics ranges from 1-44.
*One of the original drawings drawn on [[:Category:Checkered paper|checkered paper]].
*This is one of the few, early comics that contains a non-[[stick figure]] character.
*The last phrase of the comic was made into an actual T-shirt called "[https://store.xkcd.com/products/witty Witty]" sold at the xkcd store (as "maybe if this shirt is witty enough, someone will finally love me").
*Real shirts are: 'I see dumb people', 'As a matter of fact, the world '''does''' revolve around me', 'You know what your problem is? You're stupid.', 'I can only please one person per day//This is not your day.', 'Do I LOOK like a people person?', 'Get a clue', 'Your village called//They want their idiot back', 'Go away', 'Die.', 'Help', and 'Maybe if this t-shirt was witty enough, someone will finally love me.'
*'I hate you all' doesn't exist, but 'Hate you all' and 'I hate you' does. 'Oh god//I'm so alone' also doesn't exist, but 'Oh god I'm gonna die alone' and 'Oh god I am so alone in my world' does.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics posted on livejournal| 24]]
[[Category:First day on xkcd]]
[[Category:Checkered paper]]
[[Category:Sarcasm]]
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]

17: What If

2022-05-11T18:48:20Z

172.70.175.54: Undo revision 265491 by 👖🔥 (talk)

<noinclude>:''For other instances of this title, see [[What If (disambiguation)]]</noinclude>.
{{comic
| number = 17
| date = October 7, 2005
| title = What If
| image = what_if.jpg
| titletext = I once made an anniversary card for my then-girlfriend with this layout.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic features a man and a woman in a romantic setting, surrounded by a {{w|fractal}} combination of love and doubts; an arrangement based on the {{w|Apollonian gasket}} construction. Three circles are drawn tangent to each other, then additional circles are added that are tangent to three existing circles (without overlapping), ad infinitum.

Randall's character design wasn't yet fully settled. Considering that Megan arguably was introduced two comics ago, and that the man has some hair, the couple might or might not be interpreted as Cueball and Megan.

Randall's later blog and book have the same name, [[what if?]], though with ''very'' different meaning.

==Transcript==
:[A large black circle (drawn on grid paper) with white bubbles inside it, filled with hearts, question marks, and stick figure couples. The hearts are colored red.]
:[Bottom left circle - stick figure couple with a heart]
:[Top right circle - with couple:]
:what if this isn't everything it should be?
:[Two circles left of top-right:]
:i'm not even sure how i feel
:[One circle right of top-right:]
:what if i'm making a mistake?

==Trivia==
*This was the 16th comic originally posted to [[LiveJournal]].
**The previous was [[16: Monty Python -- Enough]].
**The next was [[18: Snapple]]
*Original title: "Friday drawing!"
*Original [[Randall]] quote:
::"One of my best friends just got engaged.
::I really, truly think they're going to be very happy together."
:*The friends referred to are [[Scott]] and [[Sarah]].
*This comic was posted on [[xkcd]] when the web site opened on Sunday the 1st of January 2006.
**It was posted along [[:Category:First day on xkcd|with all 41 comics]] posted before that on LiveJournal as well as a few others.
**The latter explaining why the numbers of these 41 LiveJournal comics ranges from 1-44.
*One of the original drawings drawn on [[:Category:Checkered paper|checkered paper]].
*The title this comic received when posted on xkcd is almost the same title (except the "?") as the book/webpage: [[what if|what if?]]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics posted on livejournal| 16]]
[[Category:First day on xkcd]]
[[Category:Checkered paper]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Scott]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]

11: Barrel - Part 2

2022-05-11T18:47:58Z

172.70.175.54: Undo revision 265757 by 👖🔥 (talk)

{{comic
| number = 11
| date = September 30, 2005
| title = Barrel - Part 2
| image = barrel mommies.jpg
| titletext = Awww.
}}

==Explanation==
Like in the previous comic in the Barrel series, the boy is floating in the ocean in a barrel. The previous comic made a point about the uncertainty of life; here, the boy's lament at not finding a mother is pure sentimentality, as accentuated by the title text.

According to Freud, the first stage of psycho-sexual development is the Oral Stage, which relates to a baby's relationship with its mother. The realization that 'mommy' cannot be found is the first point at which a person learns to stop trusting the world and realizes that the world is not always comforting and safe.

This is the second in a six-part series of comics whose parts were randomly published during the first several dozen strips. The series features a [[:Category:Barrel|character]] that is not consistent with what would quickly become the [[xkcd]] [[stick figure]] style. The character is in a barrel.

After Randall released the full [http://liveweb.archive.org/web/20070207052159/http://www.xkcd.com/barrel.html The Boy and his Barrel] story on xkcd, it has been clear that the original [[Ferret]] story should also be included as part of the barrel series.

The full series can be found [[:Category:Barrel|here]]. But below they are listed in the order Randall has put them in his collection linked to above:
* [[1: Barrel - Part 1]]
* [[20: Ferret]]
* [[11: Barrel - Part 2]]
* [[22: Barrel - Part 3]]
* [[25: Barrel - Part 4]]
* [[31: Barrel - Part 5]]

==Transcript==
:[A boy sits in a barrel which is floating in an ocean.]
:Boy: none of the places i floated had mommies.

==Trivia==
*This was the 13th comic originally posted to [[LiveJournal]].
**The previous was [[14: Copyright]].
**The next was [[15: Just Alerting You]].
*This comic kept it's original title: "Barrel - Part 2 "
*Original [[Randall]] quote: "The story continues."
*This was one of the [[:Category:First day on LiveJournal|thirteen first comics]] posted to LiveJournal within 12 minutes on Friday September 30, 2005.
*This comic was posted on [[xkcd]] when the web site opened on Sunday the 1st of January 2006.
**It was posted along [[:Category:First day on xkcd|with all 41 comics]] posted before that on LiveJournal as well as a few others.
**The latter explaining why the numbers of these 41 LiveJournal comics ranges from 1-44.
*One of the original drawings drawn on [[:Category:Checkered paper|checkered paper]].
*The drawing style is very reminiscent of the {{w|The Little Prince|Little Prince}}.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics posted on livejournal| 13]]
[[Category:First day on LiveJournal| 13]]
[[Category:First day on xkcd]]
[[Category:Checkered paper]]
[[Category:Barrel|03]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Barrel 02]]
[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]

9: Serenity is coming out tomorrow

2022-05-11T18:47:46Z

172.70.175.54: Undo revision 265859 by 👖🔥 (talk)

{{comic
| number = 9
| date = September 30, 2005
| title = Serenity is coming out tomorrow
| image = firefly.jpg
| titletext = Mal, Simon, Wash, Zoe, River, Kaylee, Jayne, Inara, Book.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is about the release of the movie ''{{w|Serenity (2005 film)|Serenity}}'', which was the followup to {{w|Joss Whedon}}'s TV show, ''{{w|Firefly (TV series)|Firefly}}'', which was cancelled by {{w|Fox Broadcasting Company|Fox}} after only one season. Plus, three episodes were not shown on Fox but debuted on {{w|Sci Fi Channel}} in the UK. The show was followed by a devoted number of fans who were outraged by the cancellation of the show. High DVD sales and strong fan support allowed the follow up film Serenity to be created, which tied up many of the loose ends that Firefly left open, such as the cause of {{w|List of Firefly characters#River Tam|River}}'s abilities and the origins of the {{w|Reaver (Firefly)|Reavers}}.

The image shows the main characters of Firefly. From left to right:
*{{w|Malcolm Reynolds|Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds}} - the ship's captain.
*{{w|Simon Tam}} - a doctor trying to rescue his sister.
*{{w|Hoban Washburne|Hoban "Wash" Washburne}} - the ship's pilot.
*{{w|Zoe Washburne}} - the ship's second-in-command.
*{{w|River Tam}} - Simon's sister, who displays superhuman capabilities, but is crippled by alliance research.
*{{w|Kaylee Frye}} - the ship's happy-go-lucky mechanic.
*{{w|Jayne Cobb}} - the hired muscle.
*{{w|Inara Serra}} - a companion, the equivalent of a courtesan, but with a greater deal of respect.
*{{w|Derrial Book}} - a shepherd, which is similar to a priest, with a very unknown backstory.

This is the first [[xkcd]] with adorned stick figures (e.g. hair, coats, etc.) to represent distinct characters, which later becomes a standard motif of the comic.

{{w|Nathan Fillion}}, {{w|Summer Glau}}, and {{w|Jewel Staite}}, the actors who play Mal, River, and Kaylee respectively, show up later in Randall's series [[:Category:The Race|The Race]].

==Transcript==
:[Several stick figures stand side by side in a lineup. A forlorn male in a coat, a male with combed hair, a male with spiky hair and arms outstretched enthusiastically, a female with long hair and cornrows, a shorter female with stringy hair falling over her face, an enthusiastic female with arms raised in celebration with shorter hair, a male with short hair and a goatee and hands on hips, a female with curly hair wearing a dress, and a stern-looking man with flyaway hair.]

==Trivia==
*This was the 10th comic originally posted to [[LiveJournal]].
**The previous was [[6: Irony]].
**The next was [[10: Pi Equals]].
*Original title: "Firefly"
*Original [[Randall]] quote: "Drawn in honor of the upcoming Serenity! If you work very hard you can figure out who is who."
*This was one of the [[:Category:First day on LiveJournal|thirteen first comics]] posted to LiveJournal within 12 minutes on Friday September 30, 2005.
*This comic was posted on [[xkcd]] when the web site opened on Sunday the 1st of January 2006.
**It was posted along [[:Category:First day on xkcd|with all 41 comics]] posted before that on LiveJournal as well as a few others.
**The latter explaining why the numbers of these 41 LiveJournal comics ranges from 1-44.
*One of the original drawings drawn on [[:Category:Checkered paper|checkered paper]].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics posted on livejournal| 10]]
[[Category:First day on LiveJournal| 10]]
[[Category:First day on xkcd]]
[[Category:Checkered paper]]
[[Category:Firefly]]

536: Space Elevators

2022-05-11T18:47:22Z

172.70.175.54: Undo revision 265558 by 👖🔥 (talk)

{{comic
| number = 536
| date = January 28, 2009
| title = Space Elevators
| image = space_elevators.png
| titletext = If you think space elevators are good, but just too boring and practical, check out the 'space fountain'.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Arthur C. Clarke}} was a science fiction writer and a futurist. The quoted remark provides a benchmark for how long it will take to create something as massive and advanced as a {{w|space elevator}}: when technology reaches the point where the idea is considered seriously rather than dismissed out of hand, about fifty years of further effort will make it a reality.

''{{w|Mind of Mencia}}'' was an American television comedy series running from 2005 to 2008. [[Cueball]] implies that the show is so unfunny that putting it on every channel would {{tvtropes|DudeNotFunny|destroy everyone's sense of humor}}, thus preventing them from laughing at anything, space elevators included. Cueball is missing the point of Clarke's quote; Clarke was referring to people no longer laughing at the idea of a space elevator, not people no longer laughing entirely.

The ''{{w|space fountain}}'', mentioned in the title text, is another proposed method of overcoming the planet's gravitational barrier, involving an effect similar to that of a {{w|coil gun}}.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan sit beside a moonlit lake.]
:Cueball: Arthur C. Clarke said space elevators will be built 50 years after everybody stops laughing.

:[Closeup of Cueball.]
:Cueball: So all we have to do is get ''Mind of Mencia'' on every channel and wait.
:Megan (offscreen): Oh, hush.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Elevators]]

1916: Temperature Preferences

2022-05-11T18:47:10Z

172.70.175.54: Undo revision 265903 by 👖🔥 (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1916
| date = November 15, 2017
| title = Temperature Preferences
| image = temperature_preferences.png
| titletext = There's a supposed Mark Twain quote, "The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." It isn't really by Mark Twain, but I don't know who said it—I just know they've never been to McMurdo Station.
}}

==Explanation==
This is a chart of major (and not-so-major) populated areas showing seasonal temperature patterns. The chart is a guide to where one might like to live depending on how much summer heat and winter cold they enjoy. There are four focused zones:

* Hate both cold and heat -- Neither summers nor winters are too extreme. These are either places at high altitude in the tropics (e.g. Quito, Addis Ababa) or areas at mid latitudes in Mediterranean climates (e.g. San Francisco, Wellington). All of these areas (as well as cities near this zone such as Mexico City and Melbourne) have a climate type of C-b in the Koppen Climate Classification, indicating a temperate climate with a warm summer.
* Hate cold but love heat -- Very hot in the summer. These are all either tropical regions with a latitude of 23°26’ or less (e.g. Rio, Bangkok, Manila) or desert areas very near the tropics (e.g. Needles, Baghdad). These areas all have a climate type of A-, indicating a tropical rainforest, savanna, or monsoon climate; or a classification of B-h, indicating a hot desert or arid climate. All cities listed with a Af/Am/Aw climate type fall in this zone.
* Hate heat but love cold -- Very cold in the winter. These are typically places at high latitudes (e.g. Moscow, Oslo), with almost none of the places listed below 40°, and the average latitude being 51°. These areas tend of have a climate type of B-k, indicating a cold desert or steppe, or D-b, indicating a continental climate with a warm summer. Some of coldest places, including those off of the chart, have a climate of Dfc subarctic (e.g. Fairbanks and Yellowknife) or EF ice cap (McMurdo).
* Love both heat and cold -- Both summers and winters are extreme. These places are either in the inland of North America (e.g. Sioux Falls, Kansas City) where there is no nearby ocean to buffer temperatures; or, interestingly, clustered around the Yellow Sea (e.g. Seoul, Beijing). These places are almost all climate type D-a, indicating a continental climate with a hot summer. Turpan, the place farthest toward the love heat/love cold corner, has a climate so miserable that it meets the requirements for both climate type BWk (cold desert) and BWh (hot desert) at the same time.

The summer heat axis is determined by {{w|humidex}}, a system that combines heat and humidity to generate an estimate of perceived "summer discomfort".

Note that if the values from this table are charted, the result is similar but not exact to how Randall drew the comic. For instance, he shows Kinshasa as having a “colder” winter than Honolulu, but the average low in the coldest month for Kinshasa (20°C) is hotter than the average low in Honolulu (18.9°C). In general these differences are minor, but a few stand out:

* Lubbock is shown having a climate similar to Geneva or Budapest, but in reality it should be in the “Love Cold and Love Heat” zone. The coldness of the winter is accurately reflected, but the hottest month Humidex is similar to Xi’an or Saint Louis.
* Casper is shown in the “Love Cold and Hate Heat” zone, but its summers are much warmer than shown. It should be closer to Toronto, both have a peak month Humidex of around 30-31°C.
* Omaha should be in the “Love Cold and Love Heat” zone. Its hottest month Humidex of 37.2 is warmer than Jinzou, which has a similar coldest month.
* Los Angeles should be in the “Hate Cold and Hate Heat” zone. Its hottest month Humidex is only 26.7, which is less than Mexico City or Nairobi.
* Flagstaff and Santa Fe are shown as having warmer winters than they do. They should be grouped with Boston, Kabul and Sapporo (average coldest month low of -5°C to -8°C) rather than Istanbul, Madrid and Portland (average coldest month low of 1°C to 2°C)

It is not certain if these differences are a due to errors, the use of a different data set, or deliberate “Easter Eggs” set to see if anyone would notice.

According to Randall:
* People who love cold should live where the average low in the coldest month is -3°C or less.
* People who love heat should live where the hottest month Humidex is at least 33°C (in otherwise cold places such as Minneapolis) to 38°C (in otherwise hot places such as Honolulu).
* People who hate cold should live where the average low in the coldest month is higher than 3°C.
* People who hate heat should live where the hottest month Humidex is less than 29°C.

However, given the great variability of weather patterns across the globe, it's not altogether clear how useful this would actually be to someone looking to choose where to live, since it's not clear exactly what "love/hate hot/cold" would mean. It's also not clear that the relationship between temperature and discomfort is linear. More likely is that there is a small temperature band where each degree of change causes significantly more discomfort, and beyond which it's just "too hot/cold".

Hottest and coldest month therefore may not be the best measure. For example, is one or two very cold days better or worse than a month's worth of moderately cold days? Shown in the table below for each place are the number of days above 32°C (90°F) and the number of days below 0°C (32°F), taken from Weatherbase.com (Randall's source). For most people a temperature above 32°C is considered hot and a temperature below 0°C is considered cold. So, for instance, someone who loves heat might want to live in Tehran (with three months above 32°C) rather than Beijing (with only one month) even though the peak month Humidex in Beijing is higher. Someone who loves cold might want to live in Santa Fe, where it never gets particularly cold (only -8°C) but where it is below freezing almost half of the year (179.8 days on average). In general though, the places with the most hot or cold days also have the hottest and coldest extremes.

Once again, Turpan stands out for its misery, with days above 32°C totaling four months and days below 0°C totaling four months. In fact, on average there is at least one day every month of the year that the temperature is either above 32°C or below 0°C. This includes almost every day in June, July and August being hot and every single day in December, January and February being below freezing.

Some of the most extreme climates on earth are not shown on this comic, however, perhaps because some of them are uninhabited. {{w|Eismitte}} (a camp established in the center of Greenland in the 1930s) and {{w|Vostok Station}} (in the center of Antarctica) both see temperatures far colder than McMurdo, although being in the middle of ice caps neither can be inhabited without outside support. The areas around {{w|Oymyakon}} and {{w|Verkhoyansk}} in eastern Siberia also see temperatures colder than McMurdo and are actual towns, although summer temperatures are much higher. In both places the summer weather is generally average (Humidex of 22°C to 23°C) but they have seen record highs of 34°C to 37°C and record lows of almost -68°C, giving them the greatest temperature swings on earth. {{w|Bouvet Island}} is a small island in the South Atlantic Ocean, near the latitude where there are no land masses to interrupt storms and currents (south of South America but north of Antarctica). As a result it has one of the most consistent climates on earth, with a high and low almost always within a few degrees of 0°C all year long – a perpetual state of almost to just freezing, combined with clouds, fog, wind and rain from ocean storms. {{w|Death Valley}} in California, {{w|Shahdad}} in Iran, and {{w|Murzuk}} in Libya all vie for having the highest temperature in the world, although not the highest Humidex.

The relevant temperature data for these extreme locations, where known, is in the second table for comparison.

The title text refers to a quote sometimes attributed to {{w|Mark Twain}}; however, as it points out, the quote is [https://www.snopes.com/quotes/twain.asp misattributed], and it is unknown who created it. The text then goes on to claim that the person who originally said the quote never visited {{w|McMurdo Station}}, a US Antarctic research center, which is certainly a colder place than San Francisco.

{| class="wikitable sortable"
! scope="col" style="width: 100px;" | City
! scope="col" style="width: 100px;" | Country
! Continent
! scope="col" style="width: 100px;" | Preference Type
! scope="col" style="width: 100px;" | Average low in coldest month (°C)
! scope="col" style="width: 100px;" | Average high in hottest month (°C)
! scope="col" style="width: 100px;" | Highest monthly average dew point (°C)
! Humidex
! scope="col" style="width: 100px;" | Average Annual Days Below 0°C
! scope="col" style="width: 100px;" | Average Annual Days Above 32°C
! Latitude
! Elevation (m)
! Koppen Climate Classification
|-
| {{w|Abakan}} || Russia || Asia || || -22 || 26 || 13 || 28.8 || 207 || 6 || 53° 43′ N || 240 || Dwb (humid continental) / BSk (cold semi-arid)
|-
| {{w|Addis Ababa}} || Ethiopia || Africa || Hate Both || 10 || 22 || 11 || 23.8 || 0 || 0 || 9° 1′ N || 2355 || Cwb (subtropical highland)
|-
| {{w|Altay}} || China || Asia || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -22 || 27 || 8 || 27.4 || 181 || 13 || 47° 52′ N || 887 || BSk (cold semi-arid)
|-
| {{w|Athens}} || Greece || Europe || || 7 || 31.8 || 14 || 35.2 || 2 || 34 || 37° 59′ N || 70 || Csa (hot Mediterranean)
|-
| {{w|Atlanta}} || United States || North America || || 1.3 || 31.7 || 20.1 || 39.4 || 36.3 || 35.7 || 33° 45′ N || 225 || Cfa (humid subtropical)
|-
| {{w|Baghdad}} || Iraq || Asia || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 3 || 43 || 8 || 43.4 || 15 || 178 || 33° 20′ N || 34 || BWh (hot desert)
|-
| {{w|Bangkok}} || Thailand || Asia || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 21 || 34 || 24 || 45.3 || 0 || || 13° 45′ N || 1.5 || Aw (tropical savanna)
|-
| {{w|Barcelona}} || Spain || Europe || || 4.4 || 28 || 18 || 34 || 6 || 1 || 41° 23′ N || 12 || Cfa (humid subtropical) / Csa (hot Mediterranean)
|-
| {{w|Beijing}} || China || Asia || Love Both || -8 || 30 || 20 || 37.6 || 121 || 30 || 39° 55′ N || 43.5 || Dwa (hot wet summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Berlin}} || Germany || Europe || || -3 || 22 || 11 || 23.8 || 97 || 0 || 53° 31′ N || 34 || Cfb (temperate oceanic)
|-
| {{w|Blagoveshchensk}} || Russia || Asia || || -26.2 || 27.3 || 16 || 31.9 || 204 || 3 || 50° 15′ N || || Dwa (hot wet summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Bogotá}} || Colombia || South America || Hate Both || 6 || 19 || 10 || 20.3 || 0 || 0 || 4° 42′ N || 2640 || Cfb (temperate oceanic)
|-
| {{w|Boston}} || United States || North America || || -5.4 || 27.6 || 16.3 || 32.4 || 97.7 || 12.5 || 42° 21′ N || 43 || Dfb (warm summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Brisbane}} || Australia || Oceania || || 9 || 28 || 18 || 34 || 0 || 9 || 27° 28′ S || 28 || Cfa (humid subtropical)
|-
| {{w|Budapest}} || Hungary || Europe || || -3 || 26 || 12 || 28.3 || 100 || 7 || 47° 29′ N || 96 || Cfb (temperate oceanic)
|-
| {{w|Buenos Aires}} || Argentina || South America || || 7.4 || 30.4 || 16 || 35 || 14 || 21 || 34° 36′ S || 25 || Cfa (humid subtropical)
|-
| {{w|Cairo}} || Egypt || Africa || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 9 || 33 || 18 || 39 || 0 || 125 || 30° 2′ N || 23 || BWh (hot desert)
|-
| {{w|Calgary}} || Canada || North America || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -13.2 || 23.2 || 7 || 23.2 || 194.4 || 4.5 || 51° 3′ N || 1045 || Dwb (warm wet summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Cape Town}} || South Africa || Africa || || 8 || 25 || 15 || 29 || 0 || 6 || 33° 59′ S || 42 || Csb (warm Mediterranean)
|-
| {{w|Casper}} || United States || North America || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -10.3 || 31.2 || 6.8 || 31.1 || 183.4 || 30.6 || 42° 51′ N || 1560 || Bsk (cold semi-arid)
|-
| {{w|Chengdu}} || China || Asia || || 2 || 28 || 22 || 37.3 || 12 || 14 || 30° 29′ N || 500 || Cwa (dry winter humid subtropical)
|-
| {{w|Dallas}} || United States || North America || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 3 || 36 || 19.4 || 43.1 || 29.3 || 95 || 32° 46′ N || 131 || Cfa (humid subtropical)
|-
| {{w|Da Qaidam}} || China || Asia || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -23 || 22 || -6 || 18.6 || 242 || 0 || 37° 50′ N || 3174 || Bwk (cold desert)
|-
| {{w|Dar es Salaam}} || Tanzania || Africa || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 19 || 31 || 23 || 41.3 || 0 || 0 || 6° 48′ S || 24 || Aw (tropical savanna)
|-
| {{w|DC}} || United States || North America || || -1.9 || 31.3 || 19.1 || 38.1 || 60.6 || 31 || 38° 54′ N || 50 || Cfa (humid subtropical)
|-
| {{w|Delhi}} || India || Asia || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 7.8 || 39.8 || 24 || 51.1 || 0 || 174 || 28° 36′ N || 225 || Cwa (dry winter humid subtropical) / BSh (hot semi-arid)
|-
| {{w|Dhaka}} || Bangladesh || Asia || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 12.7 || 33.7 || 25 || 46 || 0 || 91 || 23° 42′ N || 4 || Aw (tropical savanna)
|-
| {{w|Dubai}} || United Arab Emirates || Asia || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 14 || 39 || 23 || 49.3 || 0 || 200 || 25° 15′ N || 16 || BWh (hot desert)
|-
| {{w|Dublin}} || Ireland || Europe || || 2.3 || 19.5 || 11 || 21.3 || 23 || 0 || 53° 21′ N || 43 || Cfb (temperate oceanic)
|-
| {{w|Duluth}} || United States || North America || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -16.1 || 23.4 || 13.3 || 26.4 || 159.8 || 1.1 || 46° 47′ N || 214 || Dfb (warm summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Edinburgh}} || United Kingdom || Europe || || 1.1 || 19.2 || 10 || 20.5 || 60 || 0 || 55° 57′ N || 47 || Cfb (temperate oceanic)
|-
| {{w|El Paso}} || United States || North America || || -0.3 || 35.6 || 12.8 || 38.3 || 55.8 || 107.3 || 31° 47′ N || 1140 || BWk (cold desert) / BWh (hot desert)
|-
| {{w|Fairbanks}} || United States || North America || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -27.2 || 22.6 || 9.8 || 23.8 || 223.6 || 0.3 || 64° 50′ N || 136 || Dfc (subarctic)
|-
| {{w|Fargo}} || United States || North America || || -17.7 || 28.1 || 15.1 || 32.1 || 172 || 11.6 || 46° 52′ N || 274 || Dfb (warm summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Flagstaff}} || United States || North America || || -7.3 || 30.9 || 8.2 || 31.4 || 168.1 || 17.6 || 35° 11′ N || 2106 || Dsb (warm dry summer continental)
|-
| {{w|Geneva}} || Switzerland || Europe || || -1.3 || 26.5 || 12 || 28.8 || 90 || 3 || 46° 12′ N || 1230 || Cfb (temperate oceanic)
|-
| {{w|Guangzhou}} || China || Asia || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 10 || 32 || 25 || 44.3 || 0 || 71 || 23° 8′ N || 21 || Cfa (humid subtropical)
|-
| {{w|Hailar}} || China || Asia || || -32 || 25 || 13 || 27.8 || 225 || 2 || 49° 12′ N || 614 || Dwb (warm wet summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Halifax}} || Canada || North America || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -10 || 22 || 13 || 24.8 || 156 || 0 || 44° 38′ N || 18 || Dfb (warm summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Ho Chi Minh City}} || Vietnam || Asia || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 22 || 33 || 23 || 43.3 || 0 || 7 || 10° 46′ N || 19 || Aw (tropical savanna)
|-
| {{w|Hong Kong}} || Hong Kong || Asia || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 14 || 31 || 24 || 42.3 || 0 || 53 || 22° 17′ N || 40 || Cwa (dry winter humid subtropical)
|-
| {{w|Honolulu}} || United States || North America || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 18.9 || 31.1 || 20.1 || 38.8 || 0 || 19 || 21° 18′ N || 6 || BSh (hot semi-arid)
|-
| {{w|Houston}} || United States || North America || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 6.2 || 34.7 || 22.7 || 44.7 || 9.7 || 102.4 || 29° 45′ N || 32 || Cfa (humid subtropical)
|-
| {{w|Irkutsk}} || Russia || Asia || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -22 || 24.8 || 12 || 27.1 || 231 || 0 || 52° 17′ N || 436 || Dwc (wet summer subarctic)
|-
| {{w|Istanbul}} || Turkey || Europe* || || 2 || 27 || 16 || 31.6 || 21 || 5 || 41° 0′ N || 39 || Csa - Cfa - Cfb
|-
| {{w|Jakarta}} || Indonesia || Asia || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 23 || 31 || 23 || 41.3 || 0 || 0 || 6° 12′ S || 8 || Am (tropical monsoon)
|-
| {{w|Jerusalem}} || Israel || Asia || || 6.4 || 29.4 || 15 || 33.4 || 7 || 10 || 31° 47′ N || 754 || Csa (hot Mediterranean)
|-
| {{w|Jinzhou}} || China || Asia || Love Both || -12 || 27 || 20 || 34.6 || 141 || 6 || 41° 7′ N || 24 || Dwa (hot wet summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Kabul}} || Afghanistan || Asia || || -5 || 31 || 8 || 31.4 || 97 || 32 || 34° 32′ N || 1791 || BSk (cold semi-arid)
|-
| {{w|Kansas City}} || United States || North America || Love Both || -6.9 || 31.3 || 19.6 || 38.5 || 104.3 || 32.6 || 39° 6′ N || 210 || Cfa (humid subtropical)
|-
| {{w|Karachi}} || Pakistan || Asia || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 12 || 33 || 25 || 45.3 || 0 || 159 || 24° 51′ N || 8 || BWh (hot desert)
|-
| {{w|Kiev}} || Ukraine || Europe || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -9 || 23 || 12 || 25.3 || 145 || 0 || 50° 27′ N || 179 || Dfb (warm summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Kinshasa}} || Democratic Republic of the Congo || Africa || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 20 || 30 || 21 || 38.4 || 0 || 0 || 4° 19′ S || 240 || Aw (tropical savanna)
|-
| {{w|Lagos}} || Nigeria || Africa || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 23 || 30 || 23 || 40.3 || 0 || 0 || 6° 27′ N || 41 || Aw (tropical savanna)
|-
| {{w|Lahore}} || Pakistan || Asia || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 8 || 38 || 24 || 49.3 || 0 || 155 || 31° 32′ N || 217 || BSh (hot semi-arid)
|-
| {{w|London}} || United Kingdom || Europe || || 1 || 22.9 || 12 || 25.2 || 64 || 0 || 51° 30′ N || 35 || Cfb (temperate oceanic)
|-
| {{w|Los Angeles}} || United States || North America || || 13 || 22 || 16.2 || 26.7 || 0.1 || 19.5 || 34° 3′ N || 93 || Csa (hot Mediterranean)
|-
| {{w|Lubbock}} || United States || North America || || -3.6 || 33.8 || 15.9 || 38.3 || 93.3 || 86.8 || 33° 34′ N || 992 || BSk (cold semi-arid)
|-
| {{w|Madrid}} || Spain || Europe || || 2.6 || 31.2 || 11 || 33 || 59 || 52 || 40° 23′ N || 667 || Csa (hot Mediterranean)
|-
| {{w|Manila}} || Philippines || Asia || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 21 || 33 || 23 || 43.3 || 0 || 122 || 14° 35′ N || 5 || Aw (tropical savanna)
|-
| {{w|McMurdo}} || || Antarctica || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -31 || -1 || -8 || -4.7 || 365 || 0 || 77° 50′ S || 10 || EF (ice cap)
|-
| {{w|Melbourne}} || Australia || Oceania || || 5 || 26 || 12 || 28.3 || 2 || 19 || 37° 48′ S || 31 || Cfb (temperate oceanic)
|-
| {{w|Mexico City}} || Mexico || North America || || 7 || 26 || 11 || 27.8 || 0 || 0 || 19° 26′ N || 2250 || Cwb (subtropical highland)
|-
| {{w|Miami}} || United States || North America || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 15.5 || 32.8 || 23.4 || 43.5 || 0.1 || 79.8 || 25° 46′ N || 3.5 || Am (tropical monsoon)
|-
| {{w|Minneapolis}} || United States || North America || Love Both || -13.6 || 28.6 || 15.8 || 33.1 || 147.7 || 10.7 || 44° 59′ N || 264 || Dfa (hot summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Moscow}} || Russia || Europe || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -11 || 21 || 12 || 23.3 || 174 || 0 || 55° 45′ N || 190 || Dfb (warm summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Mumbai}} || India || Asia || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 16.7 || 33.5 || 25 || 45.8 || 0 || 122 || 18° 58′ N || 14 || Aw (tropical savanna)
|-
| {{w|Nairobi}} || Kenya || Africa || || 12 || 26 || 15 || 30 || 0 || 0 || 1° 17′ S || 1623.5 || Cwb (subtropical highland)
|-
| {{w|Needles}} || United States || North America || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 4 || 39 || 11 || 40.8 || 8 || 165 || 34° 50′ N || 151 || BWh (hot desert)
|-
| {{w|Omaha}} || United States || North America || || -10.2 || 30.7 || 18.6 || 37.2 || 136.1 || 28 || 41° 15′ N || 332 || Dfa (hot summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Oslo}} || Norway || Europe || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -7 || 21 || 10 || 22.3 || 148 || 0 || 59° 57′ N || 23 || Dfb (warm summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Ottawa}} || Canada || North America || || -14.4 || 26.6 || 13 || 29.4 || 149.6 || 10.3 || 45° 25′ N || 70 || Dfb (warm summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Paris}} || France || Europe || || 2.7 || 25.2 || 12 || 27.5 || 50 || 3 || 48° 51′ N || 35 || Cfb (temperate oceanic)
|-
| {{w|Perth}} || Australia || Oceania || || 7 || 31 || 12 || 33.3 || 0 || 50 || 31° 57′ N || 26 || Csa (hot Mediterranean)
|-
| {{w|Portland}} || United States || North America || || 1.8 || 27.3 || 12.4 || 29.8 || 29.6 || 12 || 45° 36′ N || 6 || Csb (warm Mediterranean)
|-
| {{w|Pyongyang}} || North Korea || Asia || Love Both || -10 || 28 || 20 || 35.6 || 127 || 5 || 39° 1′ N || 38 || Dwa (hot wet summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Qiqihar}} || China || Asia || || -23 || 27 || 17 || 32.3 || 186 || 6 || 47° 21′ N || 147 || Dwa (hot wet summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Quito}} || Ecuador || South America || Hate Both || 9 || 19 || 9 || 19.8 || 0 || 0 || 0° 14′ S || 2850 || Cfb (temperate oceanic)
|-
| {{w|Raleigh}} || United States || North America || || -0.6 || 32.3 || 20.3 || 40.1 || 60.7 || 46.8 || 35° 47′ N || 119 || Cfa (humid subtropical)
|-
| {{w|Regina}} || Canada || North America || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -23 || 26 || 12 || 28.3 || 210.9 || 16.4 || 50° 27′ N || 577 || Dfb (warm summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Reykjavik}} || Iceland || Europe || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -2 || 12 || 7 || 12 || 133 || 0 || 64° 7′ N || 39 || Cfc (subpolar oceanic)
|-
| {{w|Richmond}} || United States || North America || || -2.1 || 32.1 || 19.8 || 39.5 || 73.5 || 42 || 37° 32′ N || 46 || Cfa (humid subtropical)
|-
| {{w|Rio}} || Brazil || South America || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 16.9 || 32.9 || 21 || 41.3 || 0 || 129 || 22° 54′ S || 6 || Aw (tropical savanna)
|-
| {{w|Riyadh}} || Saudi Arabia || Asia || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 8 || 42 || 4 || 41 || 0 || 205 || 24° 38′ N || 612 || BWh (hot desert)
|-
| {{w|Rome}} || Italy || Europe || || 3.7 || 28.7 || 4 || 27.7 || 15.6 || 4 || 41° 54′ N || 21 || Csa (hot Mediterranean)
|-
| {{w|Sabha}} || Libya || Africa || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 5 || 40 || 11 || 41.8 || 5 || 171 || 27° 2′ N || 420 || BWh (hot desert)
|-
| {{w|Saint Louis}} || United States || North America || Love Both || -4.6 || 31.7 || 19.4 || 38.8 || 86.3 || 45.9 || 38° 37′ N || 142 || Dfa (hot summer humid continental) / Cfa (humid subtropical)
|-
| {{w|Salt Lake City}} || United States || North America || Love Both || -5.8 || 33.7 || 7.7 || 34 || 112.8 || 52.1 || 40° 47′ N || 1286 || Dfa (hot summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|San Francisco}} || United States || North America || Hate Both || 7.6 || 20.6 || N/A || || 0.2 || 2.4 || 37° 47′ N || 16 || Csb (warm Mediterranean)
|-
| {{w|Santa Fe}} || United States || North America || || -8 || 32.3 || 10 || 33.6 || 179.8 || 43.5 || 35° 40′ N || 2194 || BSk (cold semi-arid)
|-
| {{w|Santiago}} || Chile || South America || || 2 || 29 || 11 || 30.8 || 31 || 16 || 33° 27′ S || 521 || Csb (warm Mediterranean)
|-
| {{w|Sao Paulo}} || Brazil || South America || || 12 || 28 || 18 || 34 || 0 || 16 || 23° 37′ S || 802 || Cfa (humid subtropical)
|-
| {{w|Sapporo}} || Japan || Asia || || -7 || 26.4 || 18 || 32.4 || 136 || 2 || 43° 4′ N || 26 || Dfa (hot summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Seoul}} || South Korea || Asia || Love Both || -6 || 28 || 20 || 35.6 || 92 || 7 || 37° 34′ N || 38 || Dwa (hot wet summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Shanghai}} || China || Asia || || 1 || 31 || 24 || 42.3 || 36 || 30 || 31° 14′ N || 4 || Cfa (humid subtropical)
|-
| {{w|Shenyang}} || China || Asia || Love Both || -15 || 28 || 20 || 35.6 || 149 || 6 || 41° 48′ N || 55 || Dwa (hot wet summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Singapore}} || Singapore || Asia || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 23 || 31 || 25 || 43.3 || 0 || 0 || 1° 17′ N || 2 || Af (tropical rainforest)
|-
| {{w|Sioux Falls}} || United States || North America || Love Both || -13.9 || 28.9 || 16.8 || 34 || 164.3 || 13.8 || 43° 34′ N || 432 || Dfa (hot summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|St Petersburg}} || Russia || Europe || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -9 || 21 || 12 || 23.3 || 153 || 0 || 59° 57′ N || 4 || Dfb (warm summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Stockholm}} || Sweden || Europe || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -6 || 21 || 10 || 22.3 || 151 || 0 || 59° 39′ N || 60 || Cfb (temperate oceanic)
|-
| {{w|Sydney}} || Australia || Oceania || || 6 || 26 || 16 || 30.6 || 0 || 12 || 31° 51′ S || 19 || Cfa (humid subtropical)
|-
| {{w|Tashkent}} || Uzbekistan || Asia || || -1.5 || 35.7 || 12 || 38 || 67 || 80 || 41° 16′ N || 455 || Csa (hot Mediterranean)
|-
| {{w|Tehran}} || Iran || Asia || || -1 || 36 || 6 || 35.6 || 50 || 95 || 35° 41′ N || 900 || Bsk (cold semi-arid)
|-
| {{w|Thunder Bay}} || Canada || North America || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -20 || 23 || 13 || 25.8 || 195.9 || 2.6 || 48° 22′ N || 199 || Dfb (warm summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Tokyo}} || Japan || Asia || || 2.5 || 29.4 || 22 || 38.7 || 21 || 17 || 35° 41′ N || 40 || Cfa (humid subtropical)
|-
| {{w|Tongliao}} || China || Asia || Love Both || -20 || 29 || 18 || 35 || 177.8 || 18.7 || 43° 37′ N || 179 || BSk (cold semi-arid)
|-
| {{w|Toronto}} || Canada || North America || || -10.2 || 27.1 || 14 || 30.5 || 148.5 || 4 || 43° 42′ N || 76 || Dfa (hot summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Turpan}} || China || Asia || Love Both || -15 || 39 || 11 || 40.8 || 129.8 || 128.4 || 42° 56′ N || 30 || BWk (cold desert) / BWh (hot desert)
|-
| {{w|Ulaanbaatar}} || Mongolia || Asia || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -25 || 21 || 8 || 21.4 || 222 || 0 || 47° 55′ N || 1350 || BSk (cold semi-arid) / Dwc (subarctic)
|-
| {{w|Ürümqi}} || China || Asia || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -15 || 28 || 8 || 28.4 || 154 || 18 || 43° 49′ N || 1961 || BSk (cold semi-arid)
|-
| {{w|Vancouver}} || Canada || North America || || 0.3 || 26.2 || N/A || || 40.9 || 0.2 || 49° 15′ N || 0–152 || Cfb (temperate oceanic)
|-
| {{w|Vladivostok}} || Russia || Asia || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -15.3 || 23.3 || 17 || 28.6 || 154 || 0 || 40° 8′ N || 40 || Dwb (warm wet summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Volgograd}} || Russia || Europe || || -9.2 || 29.3 || N/A || || 146 || 11 || 48° 42′ N || 36 || Dfa (hot summer humid continental)
|-
| {{w|Wellington}} || New Zealand || Oceania || Hate Both || 6.3 || 20.6 || 12 || 22.9 || 0 || 0 || 41° 17′ S || 495 || Cfb (temperate oceanic)
|-
| {{w|Wuhan}} || China || Asia || || 2 || 32 || 24 || 43.3 || 35 || 49 || 30° 35′ N || 37 || Cfa (humid subtropical)
|-
| {{w|Xi'an}} || China || Asia || Love Both || -3 || 30 || 20 || 37.6 || 88 || 39 || 34° 16′ N || 405 || BSk (semi-arid) / Cwa (humid subtropical)
|-
| {{w|Yellowknife}} || Canada || North America || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -29.5 || 21.3 || 7 || 21.3 || 224.5 || 0.5 || 62° 26′ N || 206 || Dfc (subarctic)
|-
| {{w|Yumen}} || China || Asia || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -15 || 28 || 7 || 28 || 176 || 7 || 39° 50′ N || 2237 || BWk (cold desert)
|-
|}
*Istanbul spans both Europe and Asia but its city center is located in Europe.

{| class="wikitable sortable"
! scope="col" style="width: 100px;" | City
! scope="col" style="width: 100px;" | Country
! Continent
! scope="col" style="width: 100px;" | Preference Type
! scope="col" style="width: 100px;" | Average low in coldest month (°C)
! scope="col" style="width: 100px;" | Average high in hottest month (°C)
! scope="col" style="width: 100px;" | Highest monthly average dew point (°C)
! Humidex
! scope="col" style="width: 100px;" | Average Annual Days Below 0°C
! scope="col" style="width: 100px;" | Average Annual Days Above 32°C
! Latitude
! Elevation (m)
! Koppen Climate Classification
|-
| {{w|Bouvet Island}} || Norway (dependency) || South Atlantic || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -5 || 4 || 0.5 || 2 || || || 54° 25′ S || 780 || EF (ice cap)
|-
| {{w|Death Valley}} || United States || North America || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 3.8 || 46.4 || 4 || 45.4 || 4.3 || 191.8 || 36° 14′ N || -86 || BWh (hot desert)
|-
| {{w|Eismitte}} || Greenland || North America || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -53 || -12 || -13 || -16.3 || 365 || 0 || 71° 9′ N || 3010 || EF (ice cap)
|-
| {{w|Murzuk}} || Libya || Africa || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 5.9 || 42.4 || 16.5 || 47.3 || || || 25° 54′ N || 453 || BWh (hot desert)
|-
| {{w|Oymyakon}} || Russia || Asia || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -50 || 22.7 || 6 || 22.3 || 273 || 0 || 63° 27′ N || 750 || Dwd (cold wet summer subarctic)
|-
| {{w|Shahdad}} || Iran || Asia || Love Heat, Hate Cold || 7.7 || 46.1 || || || || || 30° 25′ N || 452 || BWh (hot desert)
|-
| {{w|Verkhoyansk}} || Russia || Asia || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -48.3 || 23.5 || 6 || 23.1 || || || 67° 33′ N || 142 || Dfd (cold subarctic)
|-
| {{w|Vostok Station}} || || Antarctica || Love Cold, Hate Heat || -75 || -30 || -37 || -35.4 || 365 || 0 || 78° 27′ S || 3419 || EF (ice cap)
|-
|}

===Original version===
[[File:temperature_preferences_smudge.png|frame|The "smudge" from the original comic, edited to enhance visibility]]

The [[:File:temperature_preferences_original.png|comic as originally published]] had a "smudge" or scattering of gray pixels, visible in the center of the image between the labels for Madrid and Lubbock. A new version of the image was later uploaded with this removed.

By editing the image to increase the contrast between the background and the "smudge", as shown here, it is possible to see dots and grid lines. This would seem to be a scatter graph, likely one showing temperature data used by Randall as a reference while making this comic, and accidentally left visible when the comic was first uploaded. A similar thing happened in [[1561: Water Phase Diagram]], where a phase diagram from Wikipedia was faintly visible in the [[1561: Water Phase Diagram#Original version|original version of the comic]].

==Transcript==
:[A chart labeled:]
:<big>Where to live</big>
:based on your temperature preferences
:[In gray, the data source is mentioned below:]
:Climate data from [http://weatherbase.com weatherbase.com]

:[A chart with two lines with single arrows. Each arrow is labeled:]
:Y axis bottom: Cold winters
:X axis right: Hot/humid summers (measured via Humidex, which combines heat and dew point)

:[Near each of the corners of the chart there is a gray blob, labeled:]
:Top left: If you hate cold and heat
:Top right: If you hate cold and love heat
:Bottom left: If you love cold and hate heat
:Bottom right: If you love cold and heat

:[The following city names intersect with the top left blob [hate cold and heat] (in reading order):]
:Mexico City
:Quito
:Addis Ababa
:Bogotá
:San Francisco
:Wellington

:[The following city names intersect with the top right blob [hate cold and love heat] (in reading order):]
:Bangkok
:Ho Chi Minh City
:Manila
:Singapore
:Mumbai
:Jakarta
:Dar Es Salaam
:Honolulu
:Lagos
:Rio [de Janeiro]
:Dhaka
:Kinhasa
:Miami
:Karachi
:Dubai
:Cairo
:Hong Kong
:Delhi
:Riyadh
:Guangzhou
:Lahore
:Sabha
:Houston
:Needles
:El Paso
:Baghdad
:Dallas

:[The following city names intersect with the bottom left blob [love cold and hate heat] (in reading order):]
:Reykjavik (with arrow pointing left)
:Berlin
:Stockholm
:Oslo
:Calgary
:Halifax
:Daqaidam
:Kiev
:Casper
:Yumen
:St Petersburg
:Volgograd
:Moscow
:Ottawa
:Vladivostok
:Thunder Bay
:Duluth
:Urumqi
:Altay
:Regina
:Irkutsk
:Abakan
:Ulaanbaatar
:Blagoveshchensk (also on bottom right blob)
:Fairbanks
:McMurdo (with arrow pointing down-left)
:Yellowknife (with arrow pointing down)
:Hailar

:[The following city names intersect with the bottom right blob [love cold and heat] (in reading order):]
:[Washington] DC
:Shanghai
:Tehran
:Saint Louis
:New York
:Xi'An
:Salt Lake City
:Kansas City
:Beijing
:Seoul
:Sapporo
:Pyongyang
:Sioux Falls
:Turpan
:Jinzhou
:Minneapolis
:Shenyang
:Fargo
:Tongliao
:Qiqihar
:Blagoveshchensk (also on bottom left blob)

:[The following city names do not intersect with any blob (in reading order):]
:Nairobi
:São Paulo
:Brisbane
:Los Angeles
:Perth
:Cape Town
:Sydney
:Athens
:Santiago
:Barcelona
:Melbourne
:Rome
:Buenos Aires
:Jerusalem
:Atlanta
:Raleigh
:Madrid
:Chengdu
:Tokyo
:Dublin
:Portland
:Richmond
:London
:Istanbul
:Edinburgh
:Vancouver
:Paris
:Flagstaff
:Santa Fe
:Tashkent
:Wuhan
:Geneva
:Lubbock
:Boston
:Budapest
:Kabul
:Toronto
:Omaha

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Scatter plots]]
[[Category:Weather]]

710: Collatz Conjecture

2022-05-11T18:46:21Z

172.70.175.54: Undo revision 265756 by 👖🔥 (talk)

{{comic
| number = 710
| date = March 5, 2010
| title = Collatz Conjecture
| image = collatz_conjecture.png
| titletext = The Strong Collatz Conjecture states that this holds for any set of obsessively-hand-applied rules.
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|Collatz conjecture}} is a longstanding unsolved problem in mathematics. It states that repeating the sequence of operations described in the comic will eventually lead to the number 1. The description in the comic starts out accurate, then veers into the joke.

The comic illustrates the sequence with a graph in which an arrow connects each number to its successor. For example, the number 22 is even, so the next number in the sequence is 22 ÷ 2 = 11, and there is an arrow from 22 to 11. On the other hand, 11 is odd, so the next number is 3 × 11 + 1 = 34, and there is an arrow from 11 to 34.

According to the caption, [[Cueball]] is obsessively writing out the graph by hand, and is so preoccupied with the task that he has stopped socializing with his friends. He will be busy for a very long time, because the Collatz conjecture has been confirmed for all starting values up to 5 × 1018.

The ''Strong Collatz Conjecture'' in the title text is a humorous extension of the Collatz Conjecture. Some other mathematical conjectures and axioms also have normal and Strong variants, where the Strong variant gives a more general rule. This practice is further parodied in [[1310: Goldbach Conjectures]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sits in a chair at a desk, papers piled on top, writing furiously. Depicted above are apparently the writing, a series of nodes in various Collatz sequences (starting with 7, 21, 24, 29, 106, 176 and 256), all eventually leading back to 1.]
:The Collatz Conjecture states that if you pick a number, and if it's even divide it by two and if it's odd multiply it by three and add one, and you repeat this procedure long enough, eventually your friends will stop calling to see if you want to hang out.

==Trivia==
*A T-shirt in the [https://store.xkcd.com/products/collatz-conjecture xkcd store] may be inspired by this comic.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]

1476: Ceres

2022-05-11T18:46:08Z

172.70.175.54: Undo revision 266291 by 👖🔥 (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1476
| date = January 21, 2015
| title = Ceres
| image = ceres.png
| titletext = Earth clearly hasn't been inspected, since it's definitely contaminated with salmonella.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Ceres (dwarf planet)|Ceres}} is the largest known {{w|asteroid}} and the smallest known {{w|dwarf planet}}. [[Megan]] sits at her computer and tells [[Cueball]] how exciting it will be when Dawn will discover what is the cause of the "stupid white dot" on Ceres.

{{w|Dawn (spacecraft)|Dawn}} is a probe sent by {{w|NASA}} in 2007 to examine the {{w|asteroid belt}}. Having already visited the {{w|protoplanet}} {{w|4 Vesta|Vesta}} in 2012, Dawn is now scheduled to arrive at Ceres on March 6, 2015. Dawn's initial images of Ceres were released two days before this comic, quickly inspiring [http://www.universetoday.com/118358/first-hubble-and-now-dawn-have-seen-this-white-spot-on-ceres-what-is-it/ questions about the white spot]. The spot was first noticed in photographs taken by the {{w|Hubble Space Telescope}}.

"[http://www.cafepress.com/inspector6 Inspected By No. 6]" refers to a series of quality assurance stickers used by US clothing manufacturers. Individual inspectors, each assigned a number, randomly sample products for workmanship. Accepted items are marked with that inspector's sticker. The presumed joke is that the white spot is a large sticker indicating that Ceres has passed inspection. This might also be a reference to The Rift's M6 being stationed at Ceres inspecting a crater.

[http://www.ceres-cert.com/ CERES] (Certification of Environmental Standards) is also the name of a food inspection company based in Germany. Both the food inspection company and the dwarf planet are named for {{w|Ceres (mythology)|Ceres}}, the ancient Roman harvest goddess from whom English derives the word "{{w|Breakfast cereal|cereal}}."

The title text extends the joke to the planet Earth, where {{w|salmonella}} can be found. Salmonella are harmful microorganisms that are sometimes found in food products subject to improper handling or overlong storage. Mixing the realms of astronomical objects and food once more, the title text concludes that the planet Earth clearly hasn't been tested by CERES since salmonella can be found on it.

The Dawn mission is mentioned in [[1532: New Horizons]].

==Transcript==
:[Megan sitting in front of her laptop talks to Cueball who stand behind her.]
:Megan: ''Dawn'' has almost reached Ceres.
:Megan: I'm excited that we'll finally learn what that stupid white dot is.

:[Current version of Dawn's best picture of Ceres and the white spot is shown.]

:[As Dawn get's closer the pictures improve and in the second version the white spot shows to have black markings.]

:[In the last zoom in on Ceres, the white dot resolves to a badge with clear black text:]
:Inspected by No. 6

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Space probes]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Puns]]

2418: Metacarcinization

2022-05-11T18:45:47Z

172.70.175.54: Undo revision 265674 by 👖🔥 (talk)

{{comic
| number = 2418
| date = January 29, 2021
| title = Metacarcinization
| image = metacarcinization.png
| titletext = Scientists still don't know how marine biologists manage to so consistently bring up whalefall ecosystems, when relevant conversational openings are so few and far between.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic strip opens with a conversation between [[White Hat]] and [[Cueball]] as they are walking together. White Hat asks Cueball if he has seen a video of a crow sledding on a roof — presumably [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uXiAe7Oc-I this one], or one of its later viral reposts. ([https://laughingsquid.com/dog-rides-toboggan-down-hill/ Animals sledding] seems to be a thing lately). In this case, the crow is a {{w|Hooded Crow}}. Cueball remarks that it's a cool example of {{w|tool use by animals}}, a sign of intelligence (which corvids [Corvidae; the crow family], including crows, ravens, and [https://ocw.mit.edu/courses/brain-and-cognitive-sciences/9-20-animal-behavior-fall-2013/lecture-notes/MIT9_20F13_Lec4.pdf jackdaws], are famous for). He then points out that {{w|Tool use by sea otters|sea otters use tools}} too, namely using stones to crack open crab shells.

This in turn leads him to bring up the fact that the 'crab' body plan has evolved multiple times, a phenomenon known as {{w|carcinization}}, previously discussed in [[2314: Carcinization]]. In that strip, Cueball turned into a crab shortly after hearing about carcinization, so perhaps White Hat will likewise be transformed momentarily.

The conversation serves as an example of a {{tvtropes|WikiWalk|wiki walk}}, where a conversation naturally diverts from the original topic into a seemingly unrelated topic through a series of logical associations. Although a sledding crow has little to do with carcinization in and of itself, the conversation has managed to bridge the two topics through intermediary steps (crow using a sled, animals using tools in general, otters using stones to open crabs, crab evolutionary process).

The title and caption is a joke that, much like natural life-forms have evolved into crab-like forms multiple independent times, so too do all of Cueball's (or Randall's) conversations wiki-walk into a discussion of that evolutionary process.

In the title text, Randall jokes that marine biologists have a similar tendency to bring up {{w|Whale fall|whalefall}} (or "whale fall") ecosystems, which arise whenever a whale's carcass falls onto the deep ocean floor and are thought to provide "stepping stones" for species migration across the generally barren seafloor. Such occurrences are relatively rare, perhaps occurring once every few miles on whale migration routes, but they happen anyway, much like conversations about them. Another example of scientists tending to bring up facts from their field of study can be found at [[1610: Fire Ants]], and Randall often brings up the fact that birds evolved from dinosaurs.

==Transcript==
:[White Hat and Cueball are walking together. White Hat has his smartphone out in his hand.
:White Hat: Have you seen this video of a crow sledding on a roof?
:Cueball: Yeah! It's always cool to see animals using tools.
:Cueball: Like how sea otters use rocks to open crab shells.
:Cueball: Hey, did you know the "crab" body plan has evolved multiple times?

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Regardless of the starting topic, any conversation with me eventually converges to carcinization.
{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Convergence]]

1068: Swiftkey

2022-05-11T18:45:33Z

172.70.175.54: Undo revision 266143 by 👖🔥 (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1068
| date = June 13, 2012
| title = Swiftkey
| image = swiftkey.png
| titletext = Although the Markov chain-style text model is still rudimentary; it recently gave me "Massachusetts Institute of America". Although I have to admit it sounds prestigious.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] has installed {{w|SwiftKey}} on his smartphone and brags about this to [[Megan]]. SwiftKey is a product that is installable on {{w|iOS}}/{{w|Android (operating system)|Android}}-based phones and tablets.

Cueball explains that if you type space bar on the keyboard it auto-completes the word you are currently typing founded on its best guess, and then if you continue to press space it will add new words using this guessing process based on the previous word(s) and what it believes is the most likely words you would use in a sentence containing the previous word(s).

Megan asks what happens if you begin a new message by just using space to automatically create a text. Cueball's best guess it begins with the word SwiftKey has found to be the typical starting word and then continues as normal from that.

Megan then realizes that in this way it builds up his "typical" sentence and she tries this over the next eight small frames: ''I am so sorry- that's never happened before.''

"I'm so sorry– that's never happened before." is a typical excuse for a mishap, usually when {{tvtropes|TheLoinsSleepTonight|one fails to produce an erection when it is needed}}. Such a phrase being quoted by an algorithm implies that such mishaps are common, and therefore "I'm so sorry– that's never happened before." is a lie. Also, Swiftkey might be saying "I'm so sorry– that's never happened before." because the software doesn't know what to do.

SwiftKey has noticed their inclusion in xkcd and have created a blog post for other users to comment with their default phrase when they hit the "central prediction key". The results are [http://www.swiftkey.com/swiftkey-on-xkcd pretty funny] (the site now redirects to a website asking to download the keyboard, an archived version can be found [https://web.archive.org/web/20190226120542/https://blog.swiftkey.com/swiftkey-on-xkcd/ here]). In addition, Reddit users have a similar model creating [https://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditSimulator /r/subredditsimulator], which is populated by bots generating submissions and comments based on the language of their subreddits.

In the title text, a {{w|Markov chain}} refers to a system that transitions between a countable number of states, based only on the current state and none of the previous ones that led up to it. SwiftKey follows this property since it provides outputs based only on the most recently entered word or words, not the whole sentence.

"Massachusetts Institute of America" is a nonexistent organization. The name appears to have formed by combining "{{w|Massachusetts Institute of Technology}}" and either "[Field] Institute of America" (e.g. Mining) or "United States of America". This illustrates the memoryless property of a Markov chain; after generating "Massachusetts Institute of", SwiftKey may have attempted to predict the next word using only the last "of" or "Institute of". Since it was not considering the word "Massachusetts" at all, the word "America" was viewed as the most likely follow-up.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball showing his phone to Megan.]
:Cueball: Have you tried SwiftKey? It's got the first decent language model I've seen. It learns from your SMS/Email archives what words you use together most often.

:[Cueball and Megan in a frameless panel, with Megan now holding Cueball's phone.]
:Cueball: Spacebar inserts its best guess. So if I type "The Empi" and hit space three times, it types "The Empire Strikes Back".
:Megan: What if you mash space in a blank message?

:[Zoomed in on Megan looking at Cueball's phone, with Cueball now off-frame to the left.]
:Cueball: I guess it fills in your most likely first word, then the word that usually follows it...
:Megan: So it builds up your "typical" sentence. Cool! Let's see yours!
:Cueball: Uh—

:[Eight small frames arranged in panel space, 2 frames wide by 4 frames high, showing each word added by Swiftkey as Megan hits space each time:]
:SwiftKey: I
:SwiftKey: Am
:SwiftKey: So
:SwiftKey: Sorry—
:SwiftKey: That's
:SwiftKey: Never
:SwiftKey: Happened
:SwiftKey: Before.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Smartphones]]

1650: Baby

2022-05-11T18:45:15Z

172.70.175.54: Undo revision 265900 by 👖🔥 (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1650
| date = March 2, 2016
| title = Baby
| image = baby.png
| titletext = Does it get taller first and then widen, or does it reach full width before getting taller, or alternate, or what?
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] (possibly representing [[Randall]]) is uncomfortable about talking with couples who present their baby to him (here represented by [[Megan]] and another Cueball-like guy holding a baby in a blanket). Because he never knows what to say, he has many strange thoughts and/or reasonable questions, that shouldn't be mentioned in front of happy parents showing off their precious baby for the first time. See [[#Table|the table]] below for his thoughts.

Cueball's thoughts of what he didn't say includes the awkward ''You sure did make that'', the plain strange ''What brand is it?'', and interesting musing about science, which has nothing to do with this baby, ''So do they learn words...'', and even rating someone's baby: ''★★★★☆ Great baby''! Some of the thoughts are quite true, like ''It doesn't really look like you since you're not a baby.''

In the end he manages to make a comment about how cool the baby is, and immediately regrets this, as he just realized he has squandered the chance to say something meaningful and instead has come out with something quite inane.

In the title text he continues his thoughts again, going in the scientific direction with a question regarding how a child grows. Does it get tall first and then put on weight? (i.e. widen). This is a valid question which has no general answer. (See more in the table below). But he is not serious, as he also wonders if the child will reach full width before getting taller.

Randall was 31 at the time of the release of this comic. As far as this page and Wikipedia informs, at the time of writing, he has no children, although he is married. However, given his age, it is highly likely that many of his friends are having babies during these years, so he will probably often get into the depicted situation. Therefore, it is highly likely that the comic is based on his own experience, and that it is indeed Randall depicted as the thinking Cueball.

Having problems with small talk is a recurring theme in xkcd (see [[222: Small Talk]]), even something as simple as talking about the weather can be a problem (see [[1324: Weather]]). This comic is the third in less than a month were Cueball has issues with this; the first two were [[1640: Super Bowl Context]] and [[1643: Degrees]].

There has previously been a "plural" version of this comic called [[441: Babies]], here Cueball also manages to say something better left unsaid, even if it was about his own baby.

===Table===
*In the table is a list of all the different sentences Cueball can think of or actually speaks in this comic:
{| class="wikitable"
|-
|+ Cueballs thoughts, including final statement and the title text.
|-
! scope="col" | Sentence
! scope="col" | Explanation
|-
| Wow, it's getting so big! Unlike most babies, which stay the same size forever.
| The first part of the sentence is quite a normal response, if it is not the first time the person sees the baby. But the second part can be interpreted as sarcastic, as newborn babies are supposed to grow fast, and it would be strange/bad if the baby had not grown considerably if it had been some months since last time. This also shows how inane the normal statement is, though people often feel inclined to say it anyway.
|-
| Hi! I'm talking to a baby!
| People often talk to the baby, rather than the parents. This makes no sense for Cueball, as the baby doesn't understand him. Should he mention this?
|-
| What brand is it?
| Typically a question one would ask about a new car, article of clothing, electronics, or other inanimate object, not a baby. Alternatively, the "{{w|brand}}" could also figuratively refer to the baby's sex. Usually it may be OK to ask what sex the baby is, though the normal question would be ''Is it a boy or a girl.''
|-
| Wow, definitely much smaller than a regular person!
| As all babies are... Typically a real response would be ''Wow, they are so small''. Possibly also a reference (in a complimentary sense) to, e.g., a compact vehicle vs. a normal-sized one, or how modern computers are/tend to be tinier (comparatively) than their predecessors, all other things equal.
|-
| You sure did make that.
| A typical comment would be ''he sure looks like you''. (See the comment that it doesn't look like you.) Such a sentence basically means you can see that it is clear that these two people did in fact make this baby. But making a baby requires sex, so when he puts it like that he actually refers to the sex part, which may be uncomfortable for many people.
|-
| ★★★★☆ Great baby.
| It is custom to praise parents for their lovely baby, but do not ever rate it with stars! In [[1608: Hoverboard]] Megan [http://xkcd.com/1608/1019:-1073+s.png rates a sea], something also not usually done. At least Cueball gave the baby more stars than Megan gave the sea.
|-
| It doesn't really look like you since you're not a baby.
| A common comment is ''He totally looks like you''. What people mean is that they can see features in the face (he has his father's nose but his mother's eyes). But of course given that the parents are adults they of course no longer look like a baby. Often it could be speculated that people just say this because they wish to see the similarities and to please the parents (hopefully).
|-
| So do they learn words one at a time alphabetically or can you pick the order or what?
| Here Cueball displays interest in the process of learning to speak a language as a baby. Very interesting subject, but since this is a very small baby, not something first time parents would have thought about yet. Learning one word at a time seems reasonable, but the last two suggestions that they learn alphabetically or in a specific order the parents choose is plain silly.
|-
| I hope it does a good job.
| A baby actually does nothing that can be described as a ''job'', so this statement is not meaningful.
If it were about the future of the baby, it would be a socially very inadequate comment to care only about the possible usefulness of the baby, than to anticipate the joy of the parents about the child's person.
Alternatively, Cueball could mean ''does a good job of making the parents feel happy/fulfilled/meaningful'' in other words fulfill the reason the couple decided to have the baby in the first place. If he was talking about the job a baby could have, he might have been thinking about the baby's education,
|-
| Wow, that's a really cool baby!
| This is what Cueball actually ends up saying. He thinks immediately that this was a silly thing to say and thinks ''Dammit'' (see title text of this comic: [[559: No Pun Intended]]).
|-
| Title text: Does it get taller first and then widen, or does it reach full width before getting taller, or alternate, or what?
| It is not possible to generalize about how {{w|Child_development#Physical_growth|children grow}}, but of course it doesn't reach full width before getting taller! But it's mostly true that kids do alternate between putting on weight and using that weight to get taller. So they'll might get chubbier during a period of time, but then suddenly they will lose the fat as they grow taller and become thin again. If they don't eat much, they may stay small. If you feed them a diet with lots of sugar, they may stay fat even during growth spurts. But not necessarily, as each kid is different. The question is thus very interesting, but again not something to discuss as an anecdote the first time you have the chance to comment on a newborn baby.
|}

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is standing in front of a family consisting a Cueball-like guy holding a newborn baby, with spiky hair, in a blanket and Megan. Cueball is thinking lots of thoughts about what to say to the couple upon seeing their baby for the first time. There is thus a huge thinking bubble in the top of the panel above the characters. Everything in this bubble has been crossed out like taking a pencil and drawing lines on top of the text, but it can still be read. After using all this time thinking, Cueball finally decides what to say, only to immediately regret this as can be seen in a small thought bubble below his spoken line, which is between the huge and the small bubble.]
:Cueball (thoughts that are crossed out):
::<s>Wow, it's getting so big! Unlike most babies, which stay the same size forever.
::Hi! I'm talking to a baby!
::What brand is it?
::Wow, definitely much smaller than a regular person!
::You sure did make that.
::★★★★☆ Great baby.
::It doesn't really look like you since you're not a baby.
::So do they learn words one at a time alphabetically or can you pick the order or what?
::I hope it does a good job.</s>
:Cueball: Wow, that's a really cool baby!
:Cueball (thinking): ''Dammit.''

:[Caption below the panel:]
:I can never figure out what to say about babies.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Comics featuring babies]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Baby 2]]
[[Category:Social interactions]]

1694: Phishing License

2022-05-11T18:44:58Z

172.70.175.54: Undo revision 265779 by 👖🔥 (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1694
| date = June 15, 2016
| title = Phishing License
| image = phishing_license.png
| titletext = Later, walking out of jail after posting $10,000 bail: "Wait, this isn't the street the county jail is on."
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Phishing}} is a scam where a criminal sends emails or other messages (often large numbers of them) pretending to be from a trusted institution in order to obtain passwords, credit card numbers, or other personal details of victims. The term is a neologism, playing on the term "fishing", because the process is likened to dangling bait and waiting for someone to bite. Phishing is illegal under both traditional fraud laws and modern {{w|cybercrime}} laws.

A {{w|fishing license}} is a government-issued permit allowing the catching of fish in controlled waters.

[[Cueball]] saw the sign offering phishing licenses, and was immediately arrested by the receptionist [[Ponytail]] upon applying for one. There is no need for a license for a crime like fraud, so it is dubious an authority would issue them, hence why Cueball should have been more suspicious of the offer. The joke is that the process of offering "phishing licenses" is analogous to the process of phishing itself: they pretend to be a legitimate business and display a sign with a false offer, hoping someone will be fooled into interacting with them. While the ideal phishing attempt is indistinguishable from the real thing, that's generally impossible to attain and there are always some ways to identify it as a scam. But still some people fall into the trap, partly because they don't know what to be on the alert for, and partly because the attempt is often directed at so many people at once that statistically there will be some that will fall for it. Still as Cueball himself states, he should have known it was a scam.

The title text reveals that Cueball's arrest was itself a scam, not an actual police {{W|Sting operation|sting}}, adding even more "phishing" to the phishing for potential phishers. He has been put in jail, but is allowed to walk out after paying a {{w|bail}} of $10,000, only to find that when he gets back out on the street, it is not the street on which the county jail has its address. So Ponytail is actually not trying to capture people who would be interested in scamming people, she is trying to scam those people instead; although this is illegal, it may be rather clever as such people might not be likely to go to the police. Another joke in the title text is that a way to recognize phishing attempts is to look at the address of the website (or in his false prison sentence, the street address instead of the web address).

==Transcript==
:[A sign has an arrow below the text that points toward a sales window in a wall (with glass in front and small semicircular opening at the bottom for transferring money and goods). On each side of the window there are two pieces of paper with illegible text, and there is also one below the window that seems to have some kind of stamp or seal, still illegible). In front of the window [[Cueball]] is addressing [[Ponytail]] who sits behind the window.]
:Sign: <big>Phishing license</big> apply here
:Cueball: Hi, I’d like to apply for a—
:Ponytail: You’re under arrest.
:Cueball: …OK, I should’ve seen that coming.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]

1328: Update

2022-05-09T16:45:03Z

172.70.175.54:

{{comic
| number = 1328
| date = February 10, 2014
| title = Update
| image = update.png
| titletext = I have a bunch of things open right now.
}}

==Explanation==
When developers responsible for fixing errors on a specific {{w|Operating System|operating system}} release a patch, the operating system often ask users to restart the computer after installing. This is often done by popup window shown to the user where they can choose to restart immediately or choose to be reminded later.

Many messages from these popups emphasize the importance of installing the updates, but [[Cueball]] is just annoyed about this. Sometimes, these issues are minor and do not affect most computers using the operating system. Often other programs, not part of the operating system, ask for a reboot because the updated routine only runs after the next reboot. Regardless, reboots can take a long time — a typical user doesn't like this. The user can choose to be reminded later multiple times. Because {{w|Reboot (computing)|rebooting}} a computer takes a significant amount of time and closes any programs running, a user may delay the update repeatedly to avoid interrupting what they were doing at the time.

The comic is making two jokes simultaneously: the core comic jokes that reboots are so tedious and disruptive it would actually be preferable for a laptop to burst into flame than to go through one, while the title text suggests that the real problem is that humans are so incapable of delayed gratification and/or risk evaluation they would rather risk bodily harm than suffer a minor inconvenience.

The joke uses an "exploding laptop battery" as an exaggeration for comedic effect. Most software doesn't affect hardware issues like burning
----
[CITATION NEEDED]
----
{{w|Lithium-ion battery#Safety|laptop batteries}}. However, low-level software, such as the {{w|kernel (computing)|kernel}} or {{w|driver (software)|drivers}}, might cause hardware to misbehave.

The title text reflects the fact that the average user will have multiple applications open and a reboot would require closing them. They would then have to open all their applications again after the computer has restarted. This can also refer to a browser application having multiple tabs open. This is becoming less of an issue because browsers have an option to restart the last session again after being closed, as would happen with a reboot, but many users still don't trust it to work properly.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sits at a desk. A message is being displayed on Cueball's laptop screen.]
:'''Urgent''': Critical update available!

:[The message continues.]
:'''''Details''''': Fixes an issue that was causing random laptop electrical fires.

:(This update will require restarting your computer.)
:[Cueball clicks on ''Remind me later''.]
:''click''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Computers]]

2616: Deep End

2022-05-07T02:14:31Z

172.70.175.54: Fix vandalism pt. 2 (Why did the number+date not get changed)

{{comic
| number = 2616
| date = May 6, 2022
| title = Deep end
| image = deep_end.png
| titletext = Hey! No running in the back-arc basin!
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by X.K.C.D(renewed) - I don't know how to get this to work, but I beat the bot to making it! Please add the explanation - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

In this comic, [[Randall]] equates Swimming pools with {{w|plate tectonics}}, to explain how deep ends form in said pools. Unfortunately, swimming pools aren't really form by plate tectonics{{Citation needed}}.

A {{w|swimming pool}} is a pool, typically used for swimming {{Citation needed}}. Most of these have a deep end and a shallow end. This is intentional, likely to accomadate for new swimmers to have somewhere to stand while accomadating for more confident swimmers for whom the floor would get in the way{{Actual citation needed}}.

{{w|Subduction}} is a process in plate tectonics causes one plate to be pushed under another plate, causing the lower one to melt. This usually takes place between continental plates and oceanic plates, although it could happenwith two oceanic plates. The comic depicts the former; A oceanic plate subducting under a continental one.
==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics]]

114: Computational Linguists

2022-05-04T01:30:50Z

172.70.175.54: Undo revision 237094 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

<div style="display: none">crap</div>
{{comic
| number = 114
| date = June 12, 2006
| title = Computational Linguists
| image = computational linguists.png
| titletext = Chomskyists, generative linguists, and Ryan North, your days are numbered.
}}

==Explanation==

[[Black Hat]] has become bored with attacking {{w|Emo}} kids, a cultural and, particularly, musical phenomenon characterised by introversion and angst. This has become a common target of mockery for its tendency to claim that 'no one understands me,' when in fact such feelings are common amongst teenagers, which is probably why he now feels that they are too easy a target for him.

Instead, Black Hat has chosen to attack {{w|computational linguistics}}, an interdisciplinary field that combines theoretical linguistics, artificial intelligence, statistics, and other areas of study, to attempt to create a rule-based model of language. This has given rise to a number of competing theories, some of which may appear to contradict each other. He may be associating the two groups, suggesting that computational linguists are constantly bemoaning that their 'field is so ill-defined,' and that this has similarities to the emos' refrain above, or he may just be taking a swipe at them by suggesting that they think themselves above normal scientific methods.

Linguistics itself is still a hotly debated subject, as is seen by the various conflicting theories on the origin of languages like the forms of {{w|Proto-Indo-European}} language.

The title text is a reference to some of the people who contributed to language theory:
*{{w|Noam Chomsky}} is an influential American psychologist and linguist who, based on cross-cultural studies, proposed a still-disputed theory that the human brain is unique from that of other species in that it includes a fundamental Language Acquisition Device (LAD) that is pre-programmed with basic rules of grammar and syntax: thus, language is innate to humans.
*{{w|Generative linguistics}} is a term within linguistics that is used in several ways, some of which are contradictory. This may be why it is chosen as a target by [[Black Hat]].
*{{w|Ryan North}} is the author of the webcomic ''{{w|Dinosaur Comics}}'', and has a degree in computational linguistics.

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat is standing next to a large badge that says FUCK Computational Linguistics.]
:Black Hat: And the dumbest thing about emo kids is that... I... You know, I'm sick of easy targets. Anyone can make fun of emo kids. You know who's had it too easy? Computational Linguists. "Ooh, look at me! My field is so ill-defined, I can subscribe to any of dozens of contradictory models and still be taken seriously!"

==Trivia==
Ryan North later teased [[Randall]] in the title text of [http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2420 this comic].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Artificial Intelligence]]

2614: 2

2022-05-03T00:00:25Z

172.70.175.54: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2614
| date = May 2, 2022
| title = 2
| image = 2.png
| titletext = It's like sigma summation notation, except instead of summing the argument over all values of i, you 2 the argument over all values of 2.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by 6b6t.org - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This demonstrates the different ways in which the number 2 can be typeset in various scientific fields.

The dotted box represents any character (presumably a letter or bigram of letters). The number 2 preceding this character is a coefficient in regular math (algebra). The number 2 as a superscript means take the second power (i.e., square whatever precedes it) in physics or regular math, while in normal text a superscript 2 is usually used to indicate a footnote. The number 2 as a subscript can be used, in chemistry, to show how many atoms of a particular element are present in a molecule (e.g., H2O). A subscript 2;2 shows the second element on the second row of a matrix. The number 2 in parenthesis would normally be the argument to a function (e.g., f(2)), but in group theory the number 2 in parenthesis could indicate a cyclic subgroup or ideal generated by two or a special case of cycle notation for elements of symmetry groups used to mean an element that keeps 2 fixed{{citation needed}}. A symbol centred underneath another symbol is normally reserved for doing summations, where the big symbol is Σ, or some other operation applied to a sequence of numbers; it does not make sense to have a single number there, as indicated in the alt text.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

[An apparently scientific expression:]
2 [superscript:] 2 [subscript:] 2 [normal text:] an empty box [superscript:] 2 [subscript:] 2;2 [normal text:] (2) [beneath the last 2:] 2

{{comic discussion}}

2608: Family Reunion

2022-04-19T11:46:53Z

172.70.175.54: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2608
| date = April 18, 2022
| title = Family Reunion
| image = family_reunion.png
| titletext = Grandma says that because of differences in primate and feline lifespans, the cat is actually my 17,000,000th cousin 14,000,000 times removed.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by THE GIRL YOU DIDN'T KNOW WAS YOUR RELATIVE (WHOOPS) - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Because all humans are descended from a {{w|Mitochondrial Eve|common ancestor}}, every human is, at some point, related to every other human, albeit distantly. Similarly, all life forms on Earth are presumed (with good reasons) to be descended from a single {{w|Most recent common ancestor|even more distant relative}} whose ultimate lineage {{w|Last universal common ancestor|became more relevant}} than any from its own 'cousins' at the time, and thus ''all'' life forms are distantly related. This makes every interaction with another life-form, technically, a family reunion, if not in the traditional sense.

The general English definition of a {{w|cousin}}, which is a person sharing an ancestor who is not a direct parent of either party, can be qualified by two numbers. There is the ''n''th-ness of the relationship (the fewest generations you need to go beyond one's parentage, "a first cousin" implies that a grandparent is the key link) - for example, [[Cueball|this Cueball's]] relation to [[White Hat]] is via a great-grandparent, whilst that with [[Hairbun]] is through a great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandparent. A "removed" number is any difference in this number between the two individuals, such that a child (or parent) of a direct cousin invokes a "once removed" relationship. You would normally only qualify "first cousin" if this fact is considered important, and "zero times removed" would also be considered implicit.

As pointed out in the title text, cat lifespans (or, more importantly, inter-generational breeding cycles) are somewhat different from those of humans. Although they would have still been very similar immediately after the divergence from the appropriate MRCA, the differences will have built up to a generational-count displacement of a similarly extreme nature. i.e. that while the shared ancestor is Cueball's 17-million-or-so-Great Grandparent, the cat is in turn the 31-million-or-so-Great Grandchild. Exactly how accurate, or even precise, Randall considers these numbers is unknown, but it is the kind of fact that we know he likes to research and use expert opinion for.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Megan, White Hat, Cueball, Hairy, a 2nd Megan (Danish?), a cat, Hairbun, a chair, and a potted plant on a cabinet are "standing" in a line. White Hat is holding a cup and Hairy has his hands to the side. There are arrows pointing to each of the living creatures.]

:14th cousin [Megan]
:2nd cousin [White Hat]
:Me [Cueball]
:12th cousin [Hairy]
:35th cousin [Megan #2]
:17,000,000th cousin [cat]
:9th cousin [Hairbun]
:50,000,000,000th cousin [potted plant]

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Really, ''every'' gathering is a family reunion.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]

[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Cats]]
[[Category:Biology]]

849: Complex Conjugate

2022-04-07T14:49:48Z

172.70.175.54: Undo revision 229885 by 172.70.175.54 (talk)

{{comic
| number = 849
| date = January 19th, 2011
| title = Complex Conjugate
| image = complex_conjugate.png
| titletext = Fun fact: if you say this every time a professor does something to a complex-number equation that drops the imaginary part, they'll eventually move the class to another room and tell everyone else except you.
}}

==Explanation==
This was the second comic with one of [[Randall|Randall's]] [[:Category:Fun fact|fun facts]].

This comic is a joke on the phrase "Shit just got real", which means "something has suddenly increased in difficulty and become genuinely challenging or dangerous".

[[Cueball]] is standing in front of a board delivering a lesson, and is about to multiply a wavefunction by its complex conjugate. A {{w|wave function}} is a mathematical description of a quantum system which uses {{w|complex number|complex}} values - numbers that have both a {{w|real number|real}} part and an {{w|imaginary number|imaginary}} part. Multiplying a wavefunction by its complex conjugate is a common thing to do, as it yields the probability density of where a particle is likely to be found, which is a real-valued function.

Complex numbers can be written in the form a + bi, where a is the real part and bi is the imaginary part. i is the imaginary unit, defined so that i² = -1. The {{w|complex conjugate}} of a complex number simply reverses the sign on the imaginary part - so for the number above, the complex conjugate is a - bi.

Multiplying the complex number by its own complex conjugate therefore yields (a + bi)(a - bi). If you multiply out the brackets, you get a² + abi - abi - b²i². The abi cancel each other out, and i² can be replaced by -1. Thus, the result is a² + b², a real number, so "shit just got real" as Cueball promised.

The title text notes that you can make this joke in class every time a calculation is performed that drops the imaginary part from a complex number, but warns that it would be so annoying that the professor will eventually find a way to have the class without you in it. Because nonreal numbers are often considered to have no physical significance, turning them into real numbers to produce a final answer is so common that this joke would quickly become tedious.

The wave function shown on Cueball's board is the {{w|Schrödinger_equation|time-dependent Schrödinger equation}} <math>i\hbar\dfrac{\partial}{\partial t} = \hat{H}\Psi</math>, a {{w|Differential equation|differential equation}} that the {{w|Wavefunction|wavefunction}} Ψ, which determines the possible positions of a quantum particle over time, always satisfies. The {{w|Derivative#Partial_derivatives|derivative}} should be written with ∂Ψ on the top; the omission of the Ψ may be a mistake.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball, holding a marker pen down in one hand, is standing at a whiteboard with two equations, one of which is the time-dependent Schrodinger equation and the other shows what the wavefunction equals, but from there it becomes unreadable. Below is a graph with a bell-shaped curve. There are also other unreadable markings on the board below the second equation and next to the graph.]
:Cueball: Okay, anyone who's feeling like they can't handle the physics here should probably just leave now.

:[In a frame-less panel Cueball is seen writing on the whiteboard. This is seen from the side of the board, so it is just a thin line with a shelf at the bottom for putting the pen on.]
:Cueball: Because I'm multiplying the wavefunction by its complex conjugate.
:Cueball: That's right.

:[Dramatic zoom in on Cueball appears to be writing the final part of his next equation.]
:Cueball: Shit just got ''real''.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Fun fact]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Puns]]

849: Complex Conjugate

2022-04-07T14:48:47Z

172.70.175.54: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 849
| date = January 19th, 2011
| title = Complex Conjugate
| image = complex_conjugate.png
| titletext = Fun fact: if you say this every time a professor does something to a complex-number equation that drops the imaginary part, they'll eventually move the class to another room and tell everyone else except you.
}}

==Explanation==
This was the second comic with one of [[Randall|Randall's]] [[:Category:Fun fact|fun facts]].

This comic is a joke on the phrase "Shit just got real", which means "something has suddenly increased in difficulty and become genuinely challenging or dangerous".

[[Cueball]] is standing in front of a board delivering a lesson, and is about to multiply a wavefunction by its complex conjugate. A {{w|wave function}} is a mathematical description of a quantum system which uses {{w|complex number|complex}} values - numbers that have both a {{w|real number|real}} part and an {{w|imaginary number|imaginary}} part. Multiplying a wavefunction by its complex conjugate is a common thing to do, as it yields the probability density of where a particle is likely to be found, which is a real-valued function.

Complex numbers can be written in the form a + bi, where a is the real part and bi is the imaginary part. i is the imaginary unit, defined so that i² = -1. The {{w|complex conjugate}} of a complex number simply reverses the sign on the imaginary part - so for the number above, the complex conjugate is a - bi.

Multiplying the complex number by its own complex conjugate therefore yields (a + bi)(a - bi). If you multiply out the brackets, you get a² + abi - abi - b²i². The abi cancel each other out, and i² can be replaced by -1. Thus, the result is a² + b², a real number, so "shit just got real" as Cueball promised.

The title text notes that you can make this joke in class every time a calculation is performed that drops the imaginary part from a complex number, but warns that it would be so annoying that the professor will eventually find a way to have the class without you in it. Because nonreal numbers are often considered to have no physical significance, turning them into real numbers to produce a final answer is so common that this joke would quickly become tedious.

The wave function shown on Cueball's board is the {{w|Schrödinger_equation|time-dependent Schrödinger equation}} <math>i\hbar\dfrac{\partial \Psi}{\partial t} = \hat{H}\Psi</math>, a {{w|Differential equation|differential equation}} that the {{w|Wavefunction|wavefunction}} Ψ, which determines the possible positions of a quantum particle over time, always satisfies. The {{w|Derivative#Partial_derivatives|derivative}} should be written with ∂Ψ on the top; the omission of the Ψ may be a mistake.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball, holding a marker pen down in one hand, is standing at a whiteboard with two equations, one of which is the time-dependent Schrodinger equation and the other shows what the wavefunction equals, but from there it becomes unreadable. Below is a graph with a bell-shaped curve. There are also other unreadable markings on the board below the second equation and next to the graph.]
:Cueball: Okay, anyone who's feeling like they can't handle the physics here should probably just leave now.

:[In a frame-less panel Cueball is seen writing on the whiteboard. This is seen from the side of the board, so it is just a thin line with a shelf at the bottom for putting the pen on.]
:Cueball: Because I'm multiplying the wavefunction by its complex conjugate.
:Cueball: That's right.

:[Dramatic zoom in on Cueball appears to be writing the final part of his next equation.]
:Cueball: Shit just got ''real''.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Fun fact]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Puns]]

Talk:2601: Instructions

2022-04-02T04:01:40Z

172.70.175.54:

== Turtle graphics ==

So these are instructions for a turtle graphics program. The audio is drawn from https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3, a 9 hour 7 minute 12 second long audio file It's generated by feeding turtle code into a text-to-speech program, but idk which language or which program. If you can convert the speech back to text, somehow without ruining the formatting (or just do a lot of editing with regex until it looks right), you could feed it into a turtle graphics program and get the resulting drawing.

: If you're not familiar with Turtle and Logo, look at this [[https://www.tutorialspoint.com/logo/logo_quick_guide.htm|quick guide]]. The short version is that these commands move a little cursor, called a turtle, which draws a line as it moves and turns. At this time, contributors have applied a few different computer transcriptions to the entire audio. There are quotes about turtles from a variety of sources intermixed with Logo code. It is expected that some correction to the code is needed, such as adding parenthesis that are not spoken in the audio. Standard Logo commands found in the audio are: PENUP, PENDOWN, SETHEADING (N) (N), SETXY (N) (N), and FORWARD (N). Some custom functions are defined, including DIST (N) (N) (N) (N), LERP (N) (N) (N), MIX (N) (N), CUBIC (N) (N) (N) (N), and SQUARE (N) (N). The next steps are to test the transcripts of these custom functions in a Logo interpreter, at which point we can begin drawing the picture. [[User:Mannerisky|Mannerisky]] ([[User talk:Mannerisky|talk]]) 02:45, 2 April 2022 (UTC)

I don't know what the current image on this page is. Is that the drawing you get by following these instructions? [[Special:Contributions/172.70.100.4|172.70.100.4]] 20:58, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

: Wait I see now, that is the actual image for the comic. It just gets covered up by the button so I can't see it. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.126.87|172.70.126.87]] 21:03, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

: Ah, it looks like someone realized it's actually longer than that. After downloading it, I found it to be 131,329,389 bytes. The Windows Properties viewer claims it is 8h41m08s in length, but that's wrong. It is actually 9h07m06s. By the way, the code is in the Logo language. He seems to have copied this from a book, but I don't know which one. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.100.4|172.70.100.4]] 21:12, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

::Worth taking a look at? I can start looking for books that contain that text[[Special:Contributions/162.158.107.52|162.158.107.52]] 21:39, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

:The automatic speech system is using standard punctuation processing, meaning that critical marks for the code aren't being announced. You can't get the code from the samples without filling in the blanks after getting a transcript. [[User:N|N]] ([[User talk:N|talk]]) 22:19, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

The MP3 file ends with this text: "''I even talk to turtles at times. But you need to understand LOGO to appreciate the great, great things that have been created. We spend so much of our life typing, looking, but never ever seeing.''" [[Special:Contributions/162.158.222.151|162.158.222.151]] 21:17, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

april fools' comic? [[User:GcGYSF(asterisk)P(vertical line)e|GcGYSF(asterisk)P(vertical line)e]] ([[User talk:GcGYSF(asterisk)P(vertical line)e|talk]]) 21:18, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

I think it's an April Fool's joke. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.238.148|108.162.238.148]] 21:20, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

:Well is it 2022/04/01 [[Special:Contributions/141.101.77.189|141.101.77.189]] 21:26, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

I think mine's broken. I don't get it. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.130.91|172.70.130.91]] 21:29, 1 April 2022 (UTC)
:You press the radio button, it selects it, then you can press it a zillion times in any pattern and all it ever does is blink the entire image. Nothing else ever appears other than the radio button, and there’s never any sound so pressing the speaker in the corner to supposedly turn it on or off is also completely pointless.[[Special:Contributions/172.70.126.65|172.70.126.65]] 23:31, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

Given the alt text "happy little turtles" and the tone of the narration I assume we're supposed to pretend the narrator is Bob Ross guiding us to creating an artistic masterpiece with Logo [[Special:Contributions/172.70.211.72|172.70.211.72]] 21:31, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

Guys, it's been HOURS and the transcription is still incomplete. Step it up! [[Special:Contributions/172.70.162.77|172.70.162.77]] 21:37, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

:Not even sure what the transcript should be. I did my best[[Special:Contributions/162.158.107.52|162.158.107.52]] 21:41, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

::I have a feeling this might be one of the longest transcripts on the site. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.43|108.162.245.43]] 21:57, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

Up until someone automates the process, I'll be working on the transcript and saving it in exkcd in parts (: Don't worry too much about edit overrides, I'll be transcribing in a google doc to avoid that! --[[User:Char Latte49|Wielder of the Staple Gun]] ([[User talk:Char Latte49|talk]]) 21:53, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

:The sections about turtles between the code blocks seems to be from

Interesting Facts About Turtles
A Little Nature Study by a Scientist that will Interest Old and Young Naturalists Alike
By Randle C. Rosenberger M. D., Professor of Hygiene and Bacteriology, Jefferson Medical College, Philadelphia, Pa.
https://archive.org/stream/foreststream861916newy/foreststream861916newy_djvu.txt

The uni.xkcd version of this comic also just shows the turtle like this article. So much for uses two April Fools comics against each other ;) [[Special:Contributions/172.70.114.77|172.70.114.77]] 22:44, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

I ran the MP3 through Amazon Transcribe. It can do only 4 hours at a time, so I had to split the original file. I went from start to 03:59:59, 03:59:59 to 07:59:58, and 07:59:58 to end. Amazon Transcribe also gave me some subtitle files (index 1). They have time codes in them. So if someone wanted to note the times of the little quips, and host the audio file somewhere where links to the middle of the file can be generated (like YouTube), that could be cool. Below are the transcriptions for analysis. Replace X with 1, 2, or 3; and replace Y with json, srt, or vtt. [[User:Pgn674|Pgn674]] ([[User talk:Pgn674|talk]]) 23:15, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

:<code><nowiki>https://pgn674.s3.amazonaws.com/xkcd-2601/xkcd-2601-X.Y</nowiki></code>

:: No need to host anything special. Let's say we want to jump to time code 02:35:14.840 from the vtt subtitle file #1 (line 7084, subtitle 1771). 2*60*60+35*60+14=9314. Subtract a few seconds, and make a link like this. Click here to learn about turtle noises: https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=9310 [[User:Pgn674|Pgn674]] ([[User talk:Pgn674|talk]]) 23:48, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

::: I went and found all mentions of "turtle", extracted those lines, and generated links to them. Programmatically. If anyone wants to go through and do some manual review and fine tuning, go ahead. [[User:Pgn674|Pgn674]] ([[User talk:Pgn674|talk]]) 00:57, 2 April 2022 (UTC)

I threw Adobe Premiere Pro at it: https://anonfiles.com/pbYfK7Sax4/radio_csv; and https://anonfiles.com/35YbKeScxe/radio_txt are the results. Note: these transcribe until 07:01:28:19. I am currently in the process of making APP suffer more and churn out the last two hours. --[[User:ẞ qwertz|ẞ qwertz]] ([[User talk:ẞ qwertz|talk]]) 23:54, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

So... what language is this? I'm hearing: PENUP, PENDOWN, SETHEADING (N) (N), SETXY (N) (N), FORWARD (N) - all of which are standard LOGO commands. But I'm also hearing something that sounds like CUBIC (N) (N) (N) (N) (N) (N), though it could also be QBIT, or text-to-speech for something like "^3". Either way it's NOT a standard LOGO command, so suggests it's a variant. Does not seem to be KTurtle, POOL, UCBLogo. QLogo, FMSLogo, and then I got bored searching. --[[Special:Contributions/172.69.71.91|172.69.71.91]] 00:37, 2 April 2022 (UTC)
:In the automatic transcription it has "Two cubic colon X one colon Y one colon X two"... which would be TO CUBIC :X1 :Y1 :X2 ... so it is defined above. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.107.230|162.158.107.230]] 01:15, 2 April 2022 (UTC)

: Yes, some of the commands seem to be defined at the top. CUBIC at the top, SQUARE maybe somewhere else. So a shortcut to decyphering it might be to just extract and render all the cubes from the "CUBIC" and "SQUARE" commands, given their values. But what format are the cubes? Are they even the coordinates of cubes? For both commands, the six numbers seem to be in the format A B A B A B where the As and Bs are similar or even in some cases identical, which seems a strange thing for a cube:
<blockquote><pre>
SetXY -443 412
PenDown
Square -443 405 -443 397 -444 390
</pre></blockquote>
The definition seems to be something like:
<blockquote><pre>
ToCubic : X1 : Y1 : X2 : Y2 : Ex : Ey --- Parameter definitions?
local Make " X0 XCor --- Local variable definitions?
Local Make " Y0 YCor
Local Make " ErrX1 Lerp : X0 : X 0.25
local Make " ErrY1 Lerp : Y0 : Ey 0.25
Local Make " ErrX2 Lerp : X0 : Ex 0.75
Local Make " ErrY2 Lerp : Y0 : Ey 0.75
IfElse
Or
LessP : picks error Dist : ErrX1 : ErrY1 : X1 : Y1
LessP : picks error Dist : ErrX2 : ErrY2 : X2 : Y2
[
Local Make " Qx0 mix : X0 : X1
Local Make " Qy0 mix : Y0 : Y1
Local Make " Qx1 mix : X1 : X2
Local Make " qy1 Mix : Y1 : Y2
Local Make " Qx2 mix : X2 : EX
Local Make " Qy2 mix : Y2 : Ey
Local Make " Lx0 mix : Qx0 : QX1
Local Make " Ly0 mix : Qy0 : QY1
Local Make " Lx1 Mix : Qx1 : Qx2
Local Make " Ly1 Mix : qy1 : Q
Local Make " PmX Mix : Lx0 : Lx1
Local Make " PmY Mix : Ly0 : LY1
Cubic : Qx0 : qy0 : Lx0 : Ly0 : PmX : PmY
Cubic : Lx1 : Ly1 : Qx2 : Qy2 : Ex : Ey
]
[
SetXY : Ex : Ey
]
</pre></blockquote>
Least, that's what it sounds like, but I suspect round brackets and suchlike are not spoken aloud :( --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.95|108.162.221.95]] 01:54, 2 April 2022 (UTC)

Feels like the speech processing is lossy, so generating the code will be a lengthy labor of love transcribing it, then debugging it, trying to fill the gaps. The code may also have been fed through an automated "Bob Ross filter" which may have lost even more data. --[[Special:Contributions/172.69.71.91|172.69.71.91]] 00:37, 2 April 2022 (UTC)

About a quarter of the way into the text is the line "You know, I'm beginning to suspect it's turtles all the way down!" [[Special:Contributions/162.158.78.215|162.158.78.215]] 00:46, 2 April 2022 (UTC)

it's concerning that the only real way we'll be able to figure this comic out is to compile the entire 9 hour computer-generated voice speech. [[User:Lettherebedarklight|youtube.com/watch?v=miLcaqq2Zpk]] ([[User talk:Lettherebedarklight|talk]]) 01:40, 2 April 2022 (UTC)

Here's my attempt to transcribe the first 11 minutes of this monstrosity or so: (I haven't run any of the transcribed code for the record.) --[[Special:Contributions/172.68.118.59|172.68.118.59]] 02:12, 2 April 2022 (UTC)

{| role="presentation" class="wikitable mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"
!'''Partial Transcript'''
|-
| <pre>
# 0:00:00
# And here we want to show you that you can program a picture right along with us. We'll use a single color, some unorthodox functions, and each line we'll put a bit of nature's masterpieces right here on our canvas. Today we'll have them run all the functions across the stream, right now, that you need to program along with us. Starting with a simple one:

TO DIST :X0 :Y0 :X1 :Y1
LOCAL MAKE "RX DIFFERENCE :X1 :X0
LOCAL MAKE "RY DIFFERENCE :Y1 :Y0
OUTPUT SQRT SUM PRODUCT "RX "RX PRODUCT "RY "RY
END

# 0:00:50
# There we go. Just like that.

TO LERP :A :B :T
OUTPUT SUM :A PRODUCT :T DIFFERENCE :B :A
END

# 0:01:05
# One more done, no pressure.

TO MIX :A :B
OUTPUT LERP :A :B 0.5
END

# 0:01:15
# Really makes our programming life easier.

TO CUBIC :X1 :Y1 :X2 :Y2 :EX :EY
LOCAL MAKE "X0 XCOR
LOCAL MAKE "Y0 YCOR
LOCAL MAKE "ERRX1 LERP :X0 :EX 0.25
LOCAL MAKE "ERRY1 LERP :Y0 :EY 0.25
LOCAL MAKE "ERRX2 LERP :X0 :EX 0.75
LOCAL MAKE "ERRY2 LERP :Y0 :EY 0.75
IFORELSE LESSP :PXERR (DIST :ERRX1 :ERRY1 :X1 :Y1) LESSP :PXERR (DIST :ERRX2 :ERRY2 :X2 :Y2) [
LOCAL MAKE "QX0 MIX :X0 :X1
LOCAL MAKE "QY0 MIX :Y0 :Y1
LOCAL MAKE "QX1 MIX :X1 :X2
LOCAL MAKE "QY1 MIX :Y1 :Y2
LOCAL MAKE "QX2 MIX :X2 :EX
LOCAL MAKE "QY2 MIX :Y2 :EY
LOCAL MAKE "LX0 MIX :QX0 :QX1
LOCAL MAKE "LY0 MIX :QY0 :QY1
LOCAL MAKE "LX1 MIX :QX1 :QX2
LOCAL MAKE "LY1 MIX :QY1 :QY2
LOCAL MAKE "PMX MIX :LX0 :LX1
LOCAL MAKE "PMY MIX :LY0 :LY1
CUBIC :QX0 :QY0 :LX0 :LY0 :PMX :PMY
CUBIC :LX1 :LY1 :QX2 :QY2 :EX :EY
] [
SET X Y :EX :EY
]
END

# 0:04:16
# I think there's a programmer hidden at the bottom of every single one of us.

MAKE "PXERR 0.5

# 0:04:25
# Let me show you what is going on up here.

CLEAR SCREEN
WINDOW
PENUP
SET X Y -473 391

# 0:04:38
# I've just covered the entire canvas with just a bit of white.

PENDOWN

# 0:04:44
# We start with a vision in our hearts and we put it on canvas.

CUBIC -469 424 -458 416 -456 389
PENUP
SET X Y -471 400
PENDOWN
SET HEADING 87
FORWARD 14
PENUP
SET X Y -443 412
PENDOWN
CUBIC -443 405 -443 397 -444 390
PENUP
SET X Y -442 400
PENDOWN
SET HEADING 84
FORWARD 10
PENUP
SET X Y -431 409
PENDOWN
CUBIC -432 403 -432 397 -431 390
PENUP
SET X Y -427 392
PENDOWN
CUBIC -422 419 -415 416 -412 391
PENUP
SET X Y -426 400
PENDOWN
CUBIC -422 400 -418 401 -414 401
PENUP
SET X Y -409 410
PENDOWN
CUBIC -408 404 -408 398 -408 391
PENUP
SET X Y -409 409
PENDOWN
CUBIC -395 421 -390 396 -408 403
PENUP
SET X Y -393 410
PENDOWN
CUBIC -392 405 -392 399 -392 393
PENUP
SET X Y -393 411
PENDOWN
CUBIC -380 419 -377 400 -392 402
PENUP
SET X Y -372 391
PENDOWN
CUBIC -371 402 -374 400 -377 408
PENUP
SET X Y -372 400
PENDOWN
SET HEADING 37
FORWARD 13
PENUP
SET X Y -471 380
PENDOWN
CUBIC -471 366 -480 357 -460 361
PENUP
SET X Y -457 379
PENDOWN
CUBIC -457 372 -457 366 -457 360
PENUP
SET X Y -448 379
PENDOWN
SET HEADING 179
FORWARD 19
PENUP

# 0:09:30
# Miriam Webster defines a turtle as: noun, any of an order (Testudines synonym Chelonia) of terrestrial, freshwater, and marine reptiles that have a toothless horny beak and a shell of bony dermal plates usually covered with horny shields enclosing the trunk and into which the head, limbs, and tail usually may be withdrawn.

SET X Y -454 378
PENDOWN
CUBIC -449 379 -444 380 -440 380
PENUP
SET X Y -434 379
PENDOWN
SET HEADING 179
FORWARD 16
PENUP
SET X Y -439 378
CUBIC -434 379 -430 380 -425 380
PENUP
SET X Y -425 377
PENDOWN
CUBIC -424 367 -431 356 -415 360
PENUP
SET X Y -400 380
PENDOWN
CUBIC -404 379 -413 382 -412 376
CUBIC -410 360 -416 356 -400 360
PENUP
SET X Y -412 368
PENDOWN
CUBIC -409 369 -406 370 -403 370
PENUP
SET X Y -376 380
PENDOWN
SET HEADING 178
FORWARD 21
PENUP
SET X Y -383 378
PENDOWN
CUBIC -379 379 -374 380 -369 381
PENUP
SET X Y -366 379
PENDOWN
CUBIC -365 372 -366 366 -366 360
PENUP
SET X Y -366 379
PENDOWN
CUBIC -353 384 -349 375 -363 371
CUBIC -358 372 -356 365 -353 361
PENUP
SET X Y -338 379
PENDOWN
CUBIC -341 378 -351 381 -350 376
CUBIC -348 359 -355 358 -336 361
PENUP
SET X Y -350 370
PENDOWN
CUBIC -347 370 -344 370 -341 370
PENUP
SET X Y -320 379
PENDOWN
CUBIC -338 381 -331 375 -333 362
CUBIC -332 358 -323 362 -320 361
PENUP
SET X Y -332 370
PENDOWN
SET HEADING 89
FORWARD 7
SET HEADING -79
FORWARD 1
PENUP
SET X Y -474 336
PENDOWN
CUBIC -473 329 -473 322 -474 316
PENUP
SET X Y -473 327
PENDOWN
SET HEADING 85
FORWARD 11
PERNUP
SET X Y -461 338
PENDOWN
CUBIC -461 331 -461 323 -460 316
PENUP

# 0:16:03
# Here are some interesting notes from interesting facts about turtles:
# A little nature study by a scientist, Forest and Stream, January 1916:
# Over a great many years I have taken a great interest in the land turtle.
# I have at the present time a number, some of which I have had for at least
# 17 years. To most people, they were ugly and repulsive, as the head when
# fully protruded and extended, looks like a snake. And furthermore, their
# clumsy method of progression does not add anything attractive.

SET X Y -453 335
PENDOWN
CUBIC -460 331 -456 312 -447 319
CUBIC -442 324 -444 339 -453 335
PENUP
SET X Y -439 335
PENDOWN
CUBIC -439 329 -441 322 -439 316
CUBIC -437 315 -433 316 -430 316
PENUP
SET X Y -426 315
PENDOWN
CUBIC -412 316 -408 339 -427 336
CUBIC -426 329 -426 322 -427 315
PENUP
SET X Y -409 336
PENDOWN
CUBIC -409 330 -409 323 -409 316
PENUP
SET X Y -405 316
PENDOWN
SET HEADING -1
FORWARD 19
CUBIC -400 329 -397 322 -394 316
SET HEADING 4
FORWARD 20
PENUP
SET X Y -381 325
PENDOWN
CUBIC -379 325 -377 325 -375 325
CUBIC -373 322 -375 319 -377 318
CUBIC -393 311 -390 343 -375 334
PENUP
SET X Y -359 335
PENDOWN
CUBIC -366 307 -340 310 -348 336
PENUP
SET X Y -342 315
PENDOWN
CUBIC -341 321 -343 329 -342 335
CUBIC -326 342 -322 324 -342 325
PENUP
SET X Y -319 315
PENDOWN
CUBIC -315 344 -305 337 -303 313
PENUP
SET X Y -317 324
PENDOWN
SET HEADING 87
FORWARD 12
PENUP
SET X Y -473 303
PENDOWN
CUBIC -473 296 -473 289 -473 282
PENUP
SET X Y -473 292
PENDOWN
CUBIC -469 292 -465 293 -461 293
PENUP
SET X Y -460 303
PENDOWN
CUBIC -461 297 -462 290 -461 284
PENUP
SET X Y -456 285
PENDOWN
CUBIC -453 312 -445 306 -441 284
PENUP
SET X Y -455 292
PENDOWN
CUBIC -451 293 -447 294 -443 293
SET HEADING -7
FORWARD 1
PENUP
SET X Y -438 302
PENDOWN
SET HEADING 179
FORWARD 17
PENUP
SET X Y -439 301
PENDOWN
CUBIC -425 311 -422 288 -438 293
PENUP

# One of the interesting points about turtles is their great variety of foods.
# They are, as a rule, good scavengers eating all kinds of decomposing and putrefying
# materials, beef or in fact any meat is eaten.

# I have seen them eat the flesh of birds and of moles, and while earthworms are
# relished by them, any worm or grub is taken worms from shell barks, and ordinary
# maggots are gotten rid of in a hurry.
</pre>
|}

Here is a transcript of the non-code part:
<pre>
And here we want to show you that you can program a picture right along with us.
We'll use a single color, some unorthodox functions, and each line we'll put a
bit of nature's masterpieces right here on our canvas.

Today we'll have them run all the functions across the stream right now that you
need to program along with us, starting with a simple one:

(code)

There we go, just like that.

(code)

One more done! No pressure!

(code)

Really makes our programming life easier!

(code)

I think there's a programmer hidden at the bottom of every single one of us!

(code)

Let me show you what is going on up here:

(code)

I've just covered the entire canvas with just a bit of white.

(code)

We start with a vision in our hearts and we put it on canvas.

(code)

Miriam Webster defines a turtle as a noun. Any of an order Testudines,
genus Chelonia, of terrestrial, freshwater and marine reptiles that have
a toothless, horny beak in a shell of bony dermal plates usually covered with
horny shields in closing the trunk and into which the head, limbs and tail
usually may be withdrawn.

(code)

Here are some interesting notes from interesting facts about turtles:
A little nature study by a scientist, Forest and Stream, January 1916:
Over a great many years I have taken a great interest in the land turtle.
I have at the present time a number, some of which I have had for at least
17 years. To most people they were ugly and repulsive, as the head when
fully protruded and extended, looks like a snake. And furthermore, their
clumsy method of progression does not add anything attractive.

(code)

One of the interesting points about turtles is their great variety of foods.
They are, as a rule, good scavengers eating all kinds of decomposing and putrefying
materials, beef or in fact any meat is eaten.

I have seen them eat the flesh of birds and of moles, and while earthworms are
relished by them, any worm or grub is taken worms from shell barks, and ordinary
maggots are gotten rid of in a hurry.

Blackberries, may, apples, cherries and mulberries, tomatoes, cucumbers, and
one vegetable eagerly eaten by my stock is green sugar corn, either raw or cooked
in the spring when they first come out of the soil, and food is not plentiful in
their pen. I have bought canned corn and they certainly have made it disappear
very quickly, beetles and tumble bugs, potato bugs, either in larval or mature
forms, are destroyed

Toadstools, especially the large flat pink ones, white and yellow ones are eaten
while I have seen them pass a black toadstool by several days unnoticed.

(code)

Here we have a happy little "pen down" statement
That's it!
And then:

(code)

Occasionally when a female drops an egg on the ground, it is quickly eaten by the
others. Ordinary hen's eggs are eaten and a great relish enjoyed hugely by them
as thick sour milk. I have placed a quantity of this milk in two or three places
in the pen and in five minutes it is surrounded by the turtles, just like flies
on a lump of sugar. The scrapings of Limburger cheese have also been eaten.

(code)

A piece of butter which had been upon a platter in the icebox for months was placed
before them and this was eaten in due time, crab apples and cantaloupe are enjoyed
by them, but watermelon is not so eagerly gobbled up like the cantaloupe.
I was surprised one morning when I found1 of the large turtles had caught and
disembowel, the very large toad, which I had in the yard.
I have seen turtles eating at 11:00 at night when1 would think they would be resting.

(code)

Here you have the power to do anything you want!

(code)

They prefer the shade and at certain times during the day if the sun is very hot,
they retreat under the logs which I have for a shelter during rain, they are very
active and move about with heads and necks outstretched, enjoying the shower bath
hugely and evidently on the outlook for worms. Just as some birds after or during
a shower, the youngest of turtles I have ever had seems to take to the same food
as the adults.

(code)

As a rule, they emerge in April sometimes the middle of the month, but as early as
April six they made their appearance. If the weather does not stay warm, they
again go back to their retreats, mating commences almost within a day or two after
their emergence. The males are quite persistent in their lovemaking, biting at
the female etcetera. And on two occasions I have seen the scale removed from the
shell of the female and blood ooze from these surfaces

(code)

I made friends with a turtle yesterday and he gave me his phone number.
I asked is that a landline? He said no it's my shell phone.

(code)

It is interesting to see the males fight among themselves. They raised themselves
as high as possible and lunge and bite and snap at each other In getting away
from his opponent. The Beaten one will beat a hasty retreat and retract his front
feet or back feet as occasion demands and glide, not run, away.
Running away is slow as compared to this turtle propulsion. It is not a slide,
it is really a darting forward glide. Just recently I saw one male maltreating
another in which the second fellow had all parts retracted and was being snapped
at pushed and actually rolled over on his back by his opponent.

(code)

Occasionally one can see a turtle dragging another one along, the first one
having the second fellow's hind leg between his shell. This has probably been
the result of a scuffle. I have never known a land turtle to bite but have
often seen them open their mouths wide and hiss or draw in their breath with
a hissing or sighing sound.

(code)

Some people have turtles in their cellars believing that they catch rats and mice.
I tried keeping some of mine in the cellar for two seasons in the wintertime.
They kept up a constant walk exactly like a caged beast. I gave them meat,
vegetables and water, but on no occasion did they take the proffered food.
In the spring, I found several of them dead. I believe that these turtles died
because they were exhausted from wandering around and around during their time
of hibernation. I also believe that this unnatural hibernation led them to
refuse all food.

(code)

Regarding the catching of rats and mice in cellars, I believe that rats and mice
might be kept away by the noise made by the turtle making its endless march
around the cellar, but doubt whether a turtle could catch a rat or a mouse.

(code)

In my yard, I had a galvanized iron pin three ft. in length by two ft. in width by
3 inches in depth for water. In this the turtles would enjoy themselves drinking
from the edge with heads submerged or with the entire body submerged for sometimes
as long as several hours. And even for a whole day, even in the country where I
now have the herd, I have a small dish in which they can just get in and they
certainly appreciate a bath.

(code)

How about some interesting things in 10 facts about marine turtles from the WWF UK?
There are seven species of marine turtle. Marine turtles were around more than
100 million years ago and lived alongside dinosaurs. These days, scientists
recognize seven species of marine turtle, the hawksbill, the loggerhead, the
leatherback, the olive Ridley, the green, the flatback and the Kemps Ridley.

(code)

Turtles do not have teeth. They use their beak like mouth to grasp their food.
This beak is made of keratin, the same stuff your fingernails are made of.

(code)

Turtle shells are made of over 50 bones fused together. So they are literally
wearing their bones on the outside. They also have light spongy bones that
help them float.

(code)

Their young lives are a mystery. The first few years of a marine turtle's
life are known as "the lost years". That's because the time between when the
hatchlings emerge until they return to coastal shallow waters to forage is
incredibly difficult to study. The "lost years" they spend at sea, which can
be up to 20 years largely remain a mystery to us.

(code)

They can be ginormous. Marine turtle species vary greatly in size.
The smallest Kemps Ridley measure around 70 cm long and weigh up to 40 kg
whilst the leatherback can reach up to 180 cm long and weigh 500 kg.
That is over 10 times heavier. Amazingly, Wales holds the world record
for the largest marine turtle ever found. In 1988, a leatherback was found
ashore measuring 2.5 m long, 2.5 m from flipper to flipper and weighing over
900 kg.

(code)

It's survival of the fittest. It is estimated that only around one in 1000
marine turtle hatchlings make it to adulthood. This is down to the long time
it takes for them to reach maturity and the many dangers faced by hatchlings
and juveniles, from predators to marine plastics.

(code)

They make some interesting noises. Female leatherbacks make some strange
noises when they are nesting, some of which sound similar to a human belch.

(code)

Just let it happen!

(code)

They have color preferences, turtles seem to prefer red, orange and yellow food.
They appear to investigate these colors more than others when looking for a meal.

(code)

You know I'm beginning to suspect it's turtles all the way down!

(code)

Marine turtles can migrate incredibly long distances. The longest known record
is for a female leatherback who swam nearly 13,000 miles over 647 days from
Indonesia to the west coast of America. That is over 20 miles a day!

(code)

They always return home. Females return to the same beach they hatched on to
lay their own eggs and bury them in sand nests. Marine turtles' amazing ability
to navigate comes from their sensitivity to the earth's magnetic fields.

(code)

Move the turtle. Playing, working, just having fun.

(code)

Here are some more interesting bits from interesting facts about turtles:
A little nature study by a scientist Forest and Stream, January 1916:
The laying of eggs, this is one of the most instructive things that I have ever
watched. Invariably they chose in my yard a situation with a southern exposure
when desiring to lay. In only two instances was an eastern exposure observed,
and once a western part of the yard being a cement walk, we could sometimes
observe the female making motions as for digging the nest. Sometimes for a
half a day she would remain stationary and with her back legs commenced to work
for this purpose, lifting her to the grass plot In a short time she would
commence to dig first with the left hind foot she would remove a little dirt
and pile it up on her left side, then with the right hind foot and pile the
removed dirt upon the right side. This would be repeated again and again
probably for hours until the proper size hole and depth was obtained.

(code)

Egg laying does not always occur during the daytime, as I have observed one or
two digging away past midnight. Sometimes they will have dug for about an
inch or so and then not make any more progress downward. In these instances
they have met with obstructions like a small stone which they cannot remove.
I have with a pair of forceps removed the obstruction on several occasions
with the turtle still in c two and after a minute or two she resumes her work.

(code)

The nest or repository is about 3 inches in depth and about an inch and a half or
a little more in width. When she has it finished, she discharges her eggs into it.
When the egg is deposited in the hole, she is not just satisfied in dropping it,
but she reaches down with her hind leg and places the egg horizontally and covers
a little dirt over it. Then the second egg and the remaining eggs are all treated
similarly and when the last1 is deposited and placed, she commences to fill up with
the dirt that remains. This she puts into the hole with an alternate right and
left leg until all is filled in.

(code)

After it is all done, she pats it with both her hind feet together and then with
her body raised and lowered pets and smooths over the place where the eggs are
buried. Then she leaves it and never looks after it as the sun now plays its
part in hatching the eggs. The eggs are whitish in color with a semi-elastic
shell about the size of a pigeon egg.

(code)

The number laid by a turtle varies. I have seen three and on one occasion I
have seen eight laid at one sitting. I have also observed one turtle laying
its eggs, covering them over, and a little later a day or two, another female
dig in the same place, remove the eggs and lay her own in this doubly-dug
repository. Once a female dug six hours and laid four eggs. Another dug
several hours. The hole measured two inches across and three and one half
inches in depth. And she laid eight eggs within a half hour.

(code)

Not all eggs hatch out. But in the instance where eight were laid, I had
the pleasure of seeing six little baby turtles come out other eggs which were
laid in a hole dug with a western or eastern exposure, never came to anything.
I have dug carefully into these nests, but I have always come upon decomposing
eggs.

(code)

For the most interesting egg laying I ever witnessed, the turtle commenced
to dig at six pm, and was still busy at work the next morning at eight o'clock.
Five days later a second turtle dug these eggs out arid, deposited four of her
own and covered the nest up personally. I do not believe that the turtle digging
out the previous batch of eggs was vindictive or mischievous but that the ground
seemed soft and easily worked. Therefore it took advantage of the spot.

(code)

Average person paints three turtles a year, factoid!
Actually just statistical error. Average person paints zero turtles per year.
Turtles George who lives in cave and eats over 10,000 each day is an outlier
and should not have been counted.

(code)

The young turtles when they make their emergence at the end of three months,
are dark in color and quite active. If you place one on its back at this time
it will arch its head and neck and come around its normal position.
The shell, of course, is quite soft, but in about three years the shell really
becomes hardened though some clear portions of the shell around the edges are
still soft. The color of the shell gradually changes to that usually seen in
the head, and soft parts are modeled speckled or of a solid color.
I have two in my collection where the head and neck are solid yellow.

(code)

Do you know what a sea turtle's favorite sandwiches? Peanut butter and
jellyfish! That sounds weird, but it's actually true. Just ask the next
sea turtle you meet. But I think we shouldn't mention it to the jellyfish.

(code)

Here are some interesting observations from odd facts about turtles:
Christian Observer, May 11th 1919: It has been said that the turtle, like
the whale, has no other enemy than man and as much as both the little creature
and the big pursued their various ways in practical immunity from harm and the
fear of sudden death.

(code)

In many ways, the turtle is one of the strangest of living things. Whales must
come to the surface frequently to breathe and it is pretty well known what they
feed upon. The seal cannot remain beneath the sea nearly so long as the whale
and his food is very well known. But the turtle in all his varieties in all his
ways, is a most mysterious animal. It does not indeed seem to matter to him
whether he stays beneath the surface for an hour or for a week.
Nor does it trouble him to spend an equal time on I land if the need arises.
Your turtle is neither fish, flesh nor fowl. Yet his flesh partakes of the
characteristics of all three.

(code)

Eating seems a mere superfluidity with him since for weeks at a time he may be
headed up in a barrel with a bung out and emerged after his long fast.
Apparently none the worse for his enforced abstinence from food from light and
almost from air.

(code)

All you need to draw is a few instructions, a little turtle and a vision in your mind.

(code)

In the whole category of animal organisms, there is none so tenacious of life
as the turtle. Injuries that would instantly be fatal even to fish
leave the turtle apparently undisturbed and his power of staving off
death is nothing short of marvelous.

(code)

Just as soon as a baby turtle emerges from the egg off he scuttles down to the sea.
He has no one to teach him, no1 to guide him in his curious little brain.
There has implanted a streak of caution based upon the fact that until a
certain period in his life his armor is soft and no defense against hungry fish,
and he at once seeks shelter in the tropical profusion of the gulf weed which
holds within its branching fronds, an astonishing abundance of marine life here.
The young turtle feeds unmolested while his armor undergoes the hardening process.

(code)

Whatever the young sea turtle eats and wherever he eats it, facts not generally
ascertained, one thing is certain: It agrees with him immensely. He leads
a pleasant sort of life basking in the tropical sun and cruising leisurely in
the cool depths.

(code)

Once he has attained the weight of \xc2\xa325 which usually occurs within the first
year, the turtle is free from all danger after that no fish or mammal,
however ravenous, however well armed with teeth, interferes with the turtle.

(code)

When once he has withdrawn his head from its position of outlook into the folds
of his neck, between the two shells intending devours, may struggle in vain
to make an impression upon him

(code)

How about some neat facts courtesy of "10 Cool Facts About Turtles"
from Deutsche Welle? They have been around for a really, really long time.
There is a reason why turtles look a little prehistoric. The first ever
specimens evolved around 260 million years ago in the late Triassic period.
Shortly after their arrival, the earth experienced a mass extinction event
that wiped out about 90% of all life on land. Luckily for the turtles,
their burrowing and water dwelling habits set them up for long term survival
in this strange new world.

(code)

They have one of the longest lifespans in the animal kingdom. While a
turtle's lifespan largely depends on the species, almost all of them have
the potential to live to a ripe old age. A typical pet turtle can make
it to anywhere between 10 and 80 years while larger species often keep going
for more than 100 years. Because it's so difficult to accurately measure age
over a century, researchers think some turtles could even be hundreds of years old.

(code)

See how easy it is to create a tree in your little world!

(code)

They come in all shapes and sizes. There are currently 356 known species of
turtles. As a rule, they are all reptiles with a hard cartilage shell, but that
is about where the similarities end. There are sea turtles, leatherback turtles,
snapping turtles, pond turtles, soft shelled turtles, and of course tortoises.

(code)

Not all turtles are tortoises but all tortoises are turtles. Yes, technically
all tortoises are in fact turtles. They belong to the Testudines family which
includes reptiles whose bodies are protected by a bony outer shell.
But the main difference between turtles and tortoises is that tortoises live
exclusively on land while most turtles live in or near water.

(code)

Some turtles are vegetarians while others are carnivorous. Most turtles are
actually omnivores but a few species are more picky when it comes to their diet.
Most tortoises are happy to munch on leafy greens or fruit. Not to the fearsome
looking alligator turtle which is almost entirely carnivorous and feeds on
anything from fish to small mammals that venture too close to the water's edge.

(code)

All species lay their eggs on land when they are ready to lay their eggs.
Even water dwelling turtles will dig their nests in the sand or the earth near
their habitat but they are not the nurturing type. No species of turtle
sticks around to raise their young. When the babies hatch they are on their own.

(code)

A turtle's gender is determined by temperature like crocodiles and alligators.
A turtle's gender is determined after fertilization. If the turtle's eggs
incubate below 27.7 degrees Celsius, the hatchlings will be male. But if the
eggs incubate above 31 degrees they will be female. If the temperature is
somewhere in between our fluctuates, a mix of male and female babies will
hatch. As oceans warm, turtles tend to give birth to more females.

(code)

They have an amazing sense of direction. Sea turtles are known for their
amazing ability to return to the exact beach where they were born years later.
Like many animals, turtles can navigate their way at sea by sensing the individual
lines of the magnetic field, but they can also remember the magnetic signature of
coastlines and sends tiny variations in magnetic fields allowing them to guide
themselves home.

(code)

And excellent vision, too. Turtles have strong underwater eyesight.
Researchers have discovered that they can see a range of different colors and
even prefer some colors to others. Although sea turtles are famous for their
internal GPS, there is evidence to suggest they do not see very well on land.

(code)

Many species are endangered. Having survived for millions of years, six out of
seven turtle species are classified as threatened or endangered as a result of
human activity. Every year thousands become trapped in commercial trawl nets while
in some parts of the world they are killed for their eggs, meat and shells.

(code)

How about some interesting facts from turtle facts by Alina Bradford,
writing for livescience.com? Turtles are reptiles with hard shells that protect
them from predators. They are among the oldest and most primitive groups of
reptiles, having evolved millions of years ago. Turtles live all over the world
in almost every type of climate.

(code)

And then according to the integrated taxonomic information system, the turtle
order Testudines genus Chelonia splits into two sub orders, Cryptodira, and
Pleurodira, and then further splits into 13 families, 75 genera and more than
300 species.

(code)

They say everything looks better with odd values for things but sometimes I put
even values just to upset the interpreter.

(code)

Turtle, tortoise and terrapins are often used interchangeably as synonyms, but
there are distinct differences between the types of Chelonians, according to
the San Diego Zoo.

(code)

Turtles spend most of their lives in water. They are adapted for aquatic life
with webbed feet or flippers in a streamlined body. Sea turtles rarely leave
the ocean except to lay eggs in the sand. Freshwater turtles live in ponds
and lakes and they climb out of the water onto logs or rocks to bask in the
warm sun.

(code)

Tortoises are land animals, their feet are around and stumpy adapted for walking
on land. They also dig burrows with their strong four limbs and slip underground
when the sun gets too hot. Terrapins live on land and in water usually in swamps,
ponds, lakes and rivers.

(code)

With so many different types of turtle, there is no average size. The
largest sea turtle species is the leatherback turtle. It weighs 600 to
1500 and is about 4.5 to 5 and a quarter feet long. According to the
World Wildlife Federation, the Galapagos tortoise grows up to six ft.
long and 573(lb?). According to the San Diego Zoo, the largest freshwater
turtle in North America is the alligator snapping turtle. It can grow to 2
5 ft long and weigh as much as 200(lb?). The Yangtze giant softshell
turtle is the largest softshell turtle. It measures up to 3.6 ft across
and weighs up to 309(lb?).

(code)

A turtle's shell is a modified rib cage and part of its vertebral column,
according to the Animal Diversity Web at the University of Michigan.
The top part of the shell is called the carapace and the bottom is
called the plastering. According to the San Diego Zoo, the shell is
made up of about 60 bones that are covered by plates called scoots.
Scoots are made of keratin, the same material that makes up humans
fingernails.

(code)

Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote that "All the thoughts of a turtle are
turtles and of a rabbit rabbits." So let's try to think like a turtle!

(code)

Many turtles are able to retract their heads and feet into their shells.
Turtles are placed in the two sub orders based on the method of retraction.
According to the Animal Diversity Web at the University of Michigan,
Pleurodirs pull their heads in sideways, Cryptodirs draw their heads
straight back into the shell. Sea turtles have lost the ability to retract
their heads.

(code)

Turtles are very adaptive and can be found on every continent except Antarctica.
Most turtle species are found in southeastern North America and south Asia.
Only five species live in Europe, according to Drs. Foster and Smith,
a veterinarian business based in Wisconsin.

(code)

Sea turtles can be found in the Coral Triangle, an area that includes the
waters of Indonesia Malaysia, the Philippines and Papua, New Guinea;
coastal east Africa, the meso-American reef in the Caribbean, the Galapagos
Islands and the Gulf of California.

(code)

Hey, what do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe? A turtleneck!

(code)

The african helmeted turtle is the most common turtle in Africa, according to
Animal Planet. It is a hunter scavenger that eats young birds and small mammals.
It steals bait from fishermen's hooks. It also releases a foul smelling liquid
from glands in its legs.

(code)

Roti Island snake-necked turtles are found only on Roti Island,
a 62 square mile island in Indonesia, according to the San Diego Zoo.

(code)

Turtles are not social creatures. While they typically don't mind if there
are other turtles around them, they don't interact or socialize, according
to Encyclopedia Britannica. Most turtles are active during the day, spending
their time foraging for food.

(code)

Turtles are not silent creatures. Some sound like electric motors, some
sound like belching humans, and some bark like dogs. The red-footed tortoise
from South America clucks like a chicken.

(code)

Most turtles are omnivores. They eat a variety of different things
depending on their species. Musk turtles eat molluscs, plants, small fish,
and insects. The Cooter turtle is mostly vegetarian and the green sea turtle
only eats grasses and algae.

(code)

I read in the L.A. Times this morning that 42,000 Mazda cars were recalled
because of a spider problem. Really makes you think doesn't it?

(code)

The alligator snapping turtle lures in fish with its tongue which looks like a
worm. It wiggles its tongue to attract a hungry fish and then snaps down on it
with its strong jaw. It also eats aquatic plants, snakes, frogs, fish, worms,
clams, crayfish and other turtles.

(code)

All turtles lay eggs. They find a place on land to lay their eggs, dig a nest
into the sand or dirt and then walk away. No species of turtle nurtures their
young.

(code)

Turtles reach the age to mate at different times. Some come of age as young
as a few years old, while others don't reach sexual maturity until around 50
years has passed.

(code)

Some species fight for the right to mate with a female while others seduce her
with a mating ritual to mate. Male and female turtles intertwine their tails
so that their shell openings line up perfectly.

(code)

Sea turtles travel from the ocean to lay eggs on beaches. Usually, sea
turtles lay around 110 eggs in a nest, though the flat back turtle only
lays 50 at a time.

(code)

The temperature of the sand affects the sex of the turtle. The perfect
beach temperature produces an equal number of male and female offspring due
to rising temperatures. Too many sea turtle females are being born, contributing
to the decline in species numbers, according to the Sea Turtle Conservancy.

(code)

According to the International Union for Conservation of Nature, many turtle
species are listed as threatened, endangered or critically endangered.
For example, the plow share tortoise and radiated tortoise are estimated
to be extinct in the next 45 years.

(code)

A pair of Russian tortoises went into space in 1968. The Soviet Union
launched Zond Five, a space probe that was the first spacecraft to orbit the moon
It returned safely and the tortoises survived. They had lost about 10% of
their body weight, but they remained active and showed no loss of appetite,
according to NASA.

(code)

I even talked to turtles at times but you need to understand logo to appreciate
the great, great things that have been created. We spend so much of our life
typing, looking, but never, ever seeing.

</pre>

OMG, fond memories of LOGO! I'm in a loud bar at the moment so I can't listen, and I'm not listening to NINE HOURS anyway, LOL! Everybody DOES realize, someone needs to extract the program and run it in LOGO, right? I would guarantee this draws something interesting and/or stupid. :) [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 03:27, 2 April 2022 (UTC)

2377: xkcd Phone 12

2022-03-29T22:07:13Z

172.70.175.54: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2377
| date = October 26, 2020
| title = xkcd Phone 12
| image = xkcd_phone_12.png
| titletext = New phone OS features: Infinite customization (home screen icons no longer snap to grid), dark mode (disables screen), screaming mode (self-explanatory), and coherent ultracapacitor-pumped emission (please let us know what this setting does; we've been afraid to try it).
}}

==Explanation==
This is the "12th" (actually the 8th) in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone]] series in which Randall explains his new joke phone designs with many strange and useless features. It is also a reference to the recently released {{w|iPhone 12}}. However, there have only been 8 comics released, with the previous two being [[2000: xkcd Phone 2000]] and [[1889: xkcd Phone 6]].

The note about the xkcd Phone 12 and the xkcd Phone 12 Max (only for people named Max) is a joke about the different models of iPhone 12: iPhone 12, iPhone 12 Mini, iPhone 12 Pro and iPhone 12 Pro Max. The xkcd Phone 12 Max would be expected to have a larger screen, but it seems that this phone is also only for people with the name Max. If the phones are respectively placed, Max's (Maxes'?) phone is the smaller of the two models.

The slogan '"The only phone you'll ever own"' could be interpreted as something of a threat, which is believable given some of the purported features. The slogan has the "registered trademark" symbol, with that symbol supposedly itself trademarked, which is highly unlikely. It is similar to the phrase ''"The last suit you'll ever wear"'', describing the black suits worn by the Men In Black in the movie of the same name.

Multiple features are labelled on the phone that are common when advertising other products, but highly unusual in mobile phones, for comedic effect:

* '''Full drivetrain warranty''' — A common warranty feature for automobiles — see {{w|drivetrain}}. As a side note, the phone here would be cheaping out on the warranty if it were a car; a "drivetrain" warranty covers almost everything ''except'' the engine; only if it was a "{{w|powertrain}}" warranty would it cover the engine. A phone typically has none of these things, although this one seemingly does.
* '''Coated for easy swallowing''' — A common feature on solid medicines meant to be taken orally. Phones do not belong in the set of edible objects, much less orally-taken medicines{{Citation needed}}. Since some parents of young children let them teethe on their phones, this would be an undesirable feature. Since these coatings tend to be lubricants, it's also possible this "feature" makes the phone harder to hold. There may be a pun here, based on the larger smartphones being practically the same as the more {{w|Tablet_computer|minimal portable computers}}.
* '''Surgical-grade apps''' — "Surgical-grade steel" is sometime used as a selling point indicating quality materials. This feature suggests that the apps themselves are made from high-quality material, although this is absurd because an app is (as the name suggests) a software application, not any physical object that could be reasonably defined as 'surgical-grade' or not. Note that both hardware and software can be certified for {{w|Safety-critical_system|safety-critical applications}}.
* '''Built-in 600 lb magnet for magnet fishing''' — {{w|Magnet fishing}} is an activity for searching for objects that can be pulled in by a strong magnet. A 600 pound magnet can lift a 600 pound (272 kg) object (at Earth's surface). This would tend to make the phone stick to any iron or steel objects (such as refrigerators) and be impossible to remove with human strength, and only the strongest humans could pick up the phone even if it were properly insulated. It would also be impossible to separate two phones without destroying one of them if the interlocking feature were used. This feature would also erase any credit cards the owner puts in the vicinity of the phone, meaning this phone could not be put in one's pocket with a wallet. There is also a possibility that this is a reference to Apple’s {{w|MagSafe}} accessory.
* '''Oral-B partnership: hold phone against teeth to ultrasonically remove plaque''' — This is a reference to {{w|ultrasonic toothbrush}}es. {{w|Oral-B}} does not produce any ultrasonic toothbrushes, but does produce ''{{w|sonic toothbrush}}es.'' There is a logical connection between electric toothbrushes and smartphones, namely they are both electronic and both vibrate; however, most phones cannot perform dentistry autonomously{{Citation needed}}.
* '''40 mL emergency water supply''' — 40 milliliters is equal to 40 cubic centimeters. For comparison, the iPhone 11 Pro Max's volume is just shy of 100 cubic centimeters; if the Phone 12 Max is similarly sized, then the water supply would take up over 40% of its total volume. In this day and age, many phones are water-resistant to some degree; nevertheless, shipping a phone with an interior consisting of a 3:2 ratio of electronics-to-water will surely lead to many short-circuited, inoperable phones. Furthermore, {{w|survival kit}}s often come with pouches that can hold several liters of water, in case of emergency. Because people typically take their phones with them everywhere they go, storing a survival kit inside the phone would be a life-saving feature. Unfortunately, 40cc of water is not enough to stave off thirst for a meaningful amount of time, extinguish a flame much larger than a candle's, or deal with most other situations which would constitute an emergency. Unless you are suitably proficient at {{w|Katara_(Avatar:_The_Last_Airbender)#Waterbending|waterbending}}, this feature is useless for its intended function. 40 milliliters is also the amount of fluid that a shot glass holds.
* '''Security feature: unmarked side buttons''' — Some vendors (particularly car dealers) try to explain away questionable User Interface decisions as "Security Features". Technically, if everyone (including the owner) has difficulty using it, it is secure... Here, no buttons are visible which could indicate they are, in fact, simply a touch sensitive surface, which would certainly be difficult to use as users would have to guess the area they should touch to use these "buttons". This might be a reference to a feature present in iPhone 12s where one can double-tap on the back to do a set action, which some websites have called a "[https://metro.co.uk/2020/10/28/how-to-find-the-secret-button-on-the-iphone-12-13493472/ secret button]".
* '''3,000,000-volt arc allows wireless charging from a range of up to 36 inches''' — {{w|Inductive charging|Induction charging}} is a method that a number of modern phones advertise, allowing power to (inefficiently but 'conveniently') transfer into a device from a mains charging station or another device's battery without the need for plugging in cables. It transfers energy between safely tuned coils, that do not touch, though typically the case of one device must remain placed directly upon the other for the optimal transfer of charge between them. An electric arc can also be used to transfer electrical energy through the air through a lightning-like discharge. While arcs can transfer large amounts of energy quickly, the plasma generated would be very dangerous and damaging to the phone, charger, and immediate vicinity. The {{w|electrical breakdown}} voltage of air is approximately 3 kV / mm, which would allow a 3 MV potential to jump a distance of 100 cm (40 inches). 36 inches (91 cm), however, is within reach of a simple extension cord. {{w|Electrical_injury#Lethality|Shocks of 11,000 volts are usually lethal}}, so 3,000,000 volts of electricity (possibly from a complete {{w|Tesla coil}} assemblage) would require considerable protection.
* '''99.9% BPA- and hands- free''' — {{w|Bisphenol A}} (or BPA) is a compound that is used in making plastics. BPA has been found to exhibit hormone-like properties, so there is a movement to produce BPA-free plastics using alternative bisphenols. {{w|Hands-free}} describes using the device "without hands", e.g. using voice commands. This is important when using a device while driving. These are 2 unrelated ideas, which use the suffix "free" in different meanings ("BPA-free" means "containing no BPA", while "hands-free" means "your hands need not be used"). The construction "NOUN- and NOUN-ADJ" is normally only used with the meaning of "ADJ" repeated for both nouns, implying that this phone "contains no hands" (or possibly "your BPA is left free"). The "percentage free" description is also a standard form of advertising {{w|weasel word}}s, as remarked by Randall in [[641: Free]]. A food might be described as "90% fat-free" with the heavy implication that it has a tenth of the usual fat content, but likely really means "10% of the product is pure fat" (typically by weight or maybe pre-cooked volume) compared with perhaps 15% in the typical non-'fat-free' recipe. 0.1% of BPA is not an insignificant quantity given its possible effects, and is likely to be a higher leachable content if it is all concentrated in external trimmings. It is unclear what a tenth of a percent of a hand needs to do, to operate the device, but it does also mean that it is not as completely hands-free as implied. Or else it ''also'' implies that up to 0.1% of the phone contains ingredients sourced from human hands. At best, this could be skin cells from the workers (although phone assembly lines ''should'' be kept meticulously clean, to prevent damage to delicate components), or at worst, some workers could be losing hands into the assembly line due to poor safety practices.
* '''Extended release charge cable''' — Electronics manufacturers support standards to reduce time to fully recharge, e.g. Qualcomm {{w|Quick Charge}} standard. This is a reference to {{w|Modified-release dosage|"extended release" medication}}. It's unclear what purpose would be served by charging a phone slower than normal.
* '''Closed timelike curves''' — This label is applied to the curved corner of the phone. Randall may be making a visual joke by referring to the corner of the phone by a relativistic concept. {{w|Closed timelike curves}} is a world line in spacetime that is "closed", in that an object following that world line will return to its starting point in spacetime, which implies that the object would be able to go back in time. It could also be a reference to the [https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-04-13/apple-plans-ipad-like-design-for-next-iphone-smaller-homepod|''Bloomberg'' leaks] that predicted the sharper corners of the iPhone 12, the phone model this is designed on.
* '''Fits in standard shipping container''' - An {{w|intermodal shipping container}} is large enough to fit automobiles, raising the question of just how big this xkcd phone is. Other standard "containers" used for shipping items might be things like the FedEx, UPS, and USPS boxes, which often come in various sizes (small, medium, large) as well as their shipping envelopes, all of which could easily hold just about any phone that's out there.
* '''Interlocking, stackable''' — A quality of, among other things, LEGO bricks. Probably a bad idea to use this feature, given how close the phone is to critical mass. There are electronic boards designed for interlocking and stacking, such as {{w|Arduino}} and {{w|Raspberry Pi}} computers, which can have other boards attached to them (shields, hats) to add functionality, however it's unclear what advantage there would be to stacking multiple identical phones together.
* '''Nintendo partnership: GameBoy Printer compatibility''' — The {{w|Game Boy Printer}} was a thermal paper printer originally paired with the {{w|Game Boy Camera}}. This device was released in 1998 and discontinued in 2003, so this partnership would be obsolete.
* '''Sustain pedal''' — A {{w|sustain pedal}} is commonly associated with a digital keyboard or piano; it lets the note continue sounding when the key is released. It's unclear what purpose it would serve in a phone, although it might be used for the screaming mode in the title text.
* '''CDC partnership: when in an indoor space with too many people, phone begins playing "We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)" at slowly increasing volume until everyone leaves''' — An allusion to the COVID-19 pandemic. CDC stands for Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the United States public health institute. In [[2284: Sabotage]], Randall "promised" to bring an annoying karaoke song to a party to hopefully discourage people from attending, but this phone will apparently do so automatically. "{{w|We Like to Party! (Vengaboys song)|We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)}}" is a 1998 Eurodance/techno hit by the Vengaboys, and is perhaps most familiar to Americans from a series of {{w|Six Flags}} ads.
* '''Sacrificial anode''' — Useful if something metal will be in a wet environment for a long time. Commonly used on bridges and boats, but it may be a 'feature' of this phone because of its built-in water reservoir. The {{w|sacrificial anode}} is made of a material with higher redox potential (typically zinc), and will corrode faster than the (more valuable) metal object it's attached to. It's unclear if the phone HAS a sacrificial anode or IS a sacrificial anode.
* '''Tactical helium reserve''' — Since 1925, the United States has had a {{w|National Helium Reserve|strategic helium reserve}}. Helium is very rare on earth and has important scientific and military uses, so it’s important to have a supply in case supplies disappear. But here we have a tactical helium reserve, which suggests it's smaller and focused on shorter-term goals. Compare {{w|strategic bombing}} focused on destroying entire cities or countries and {{w|tactical bombing}} aimed at destroying individual targets or military units. Helium also has the property of being lighter than air, so if this reserve is large enough, the phone could float away if let go. However, this is unlikely, as the phone boasts other, heavy components such as large magnets, a water reserve and a critical mass of fissile material.
* '''50% below critical mass (2x safety factor)''' — Indicates the phone contains fissile material. This "2x safety factor" means that if you put 2 phones next to each other, or put one phone next to a {{w|neutron reflector}}, you would have a {{w|criticality accident}}, which may explain why you would not own another phone after this one. A phone with this much fissile material would pose a radiation hazard. The "2x safety factor" claim may be related to physicist {{w|Richard Feynman|Richard Feynman's}} famous criticism of NASA in the {{w|Rogers Commission}} report on the space shuttle Challenger disaster. Feynman found that when he confronted NASA engineers with a part worn one third of the way through, which was not supposed to be worn through at all, the engineers claimed that this demonstrated a 3x safety factor rather than a failure of the part. This could mean that using the phone is harmful for some other reason (social media addiction?) but the xkcd phone has half as many users as it would need to cause a problem in this way.
* '''Shake for factory reset''' — A {{w|factory reset}} is often possible on electronic devices, and is usually accomplished either by pressing a button that is often well-protected against accidental contact, for an extended period or closing an electrical bridge. This one works like an {{w|Etch A Sketch|Etch-a-Sketch}}, which would not be preferred, as [http://www.ahajokes.com/com045.html slight disturbances] could easily cause massive losses of data. In the other hand, given that it weighs at least 600 lbs, it will probably not be shaking due to a user intentionally trying to delete their data.
* '''Norton MacAfee protection: if you're ever attacked by John MacAfee, Peter Norton will come out of retirement to defend you''' — {{w|Norton (software)|Norton}} and {{w|McAfee}} (note spelling!) are competing software security companies, founded by {{w|Peter Norton}} and {{w|John McAfee}} respectively (though neither has any involvement with their name-sake companies any more). This "protection" combines the two of them and claims that Norton (the person) will defend you if McAfee (the person) attacks you. May have been inspired by [https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/06/business/mcafee-arrested-tax-evasion.html John McAfee's recent arrest] which brought attention to the allegation that he had hired a hit man to kill his neighbor in Belize in 2012.

The title text mentions xkcd phone OS updates, including:
* '''Infinite customization (home screen icons no longer snap to grid)''' — iOS 14 offers new features such as widgets on the home screen and changing of app icons, allowing for customization on a level not seen before on the platform. Here though, the "customization" hinges on a technicality, specifically of permutations: On a phone with, say, one million pixels, the number of ways one can place 20 icons is P(1000000,20)=9.998x10^119, an absolutely enormous number, but most people would not call two home screens where the only difference is that one icon is one pixel over a different configuration. Plus, not being able to snap the icons to a grid would be incredibly unsatisfying, as it would make it very difficult to get icons lined up with each other.
* '''Dark mode (disables screen)''' — Dark mode is a popular feature on websites/apps with light backgrounds like Twitter and Reddit, changing the background to a dark color to help late-night users sleep better. Disabling the screen would not be a pleasant surprise when a user goes to turn on beloved dark mode. May be impossible to turn off if the screen is no longer touch sensitive when darkened unless the unmarked buttons can be used to disable it. Also a possible reason to want to use the shake-activated factory reset.
* '''Screaming mode (self-explanatory)''' — The phone screams. Reference to the screaming-while-falling [[1363: xkcd Phone|xkcd Phone 1]].
* '''Coherent ultracapacitor-pumped emission (please let us know what this setting does; we've been afraid to try it)''' - This mysterious feature has a terrifying name, with even the developers refusing to test it out. This option would probably be very easy to accidentally tap, given the style of every xkcd Phone ever. Possibly activated with one of the unlabeled buttons making it even more dangerous. Coherent Emission is associated with lasers, and a {{w|Helium-neon laser|common type of laser}} uses helium and neon to generate the beam, which could justify the helium reserve. {{w|Ultracapacitor}}s store a large amount of energy than can be discharged very quickly. The feature described is then probably some sort of very high power pulse laser. Raises the question of [[Beret Guy|who]] designs the phone if the people marketing it don't know what it does, or what purpose [[Black Hat|someone]] may use it for.

==Transcript==
:[The comic shows two smartphones: one taller and wider than the other. ]

:[Labels to the left of the larger smartphone:]
* Full drivetrain warranty
* Coated for easy swallowing
* Surgical-grade apps
* Built-in 600 lb magnet for magnet fishing
* Oral-B partnership: hold phone against teeth to ultrasonically remove plaque
* 40 mL emergency water supply
* Security feature: unmarked side buttons
* 3,000,000-volt arc allows wireless charging from a range of up to 36 inches
* 99.9% BPA- and hands- free
* Extended release charge cable
* Closed timelike curves

:[Labels to the right of the larger smartphone:]
* Fits in standard shipping container
* Interlocking, stackable

:[Labels to the right of the smaller smartphone:]
* Nintendo partnership: GameBoy Printer compatibility
* Sustain Pedal
* CDC partnership: when in an indoor space with too many people, phone begins playing "We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)" at slowly increasing volume until everyone leaves
* Sacrificial anode
* Tactical helium reserve
* 50% below critical mass (2x safety factor)
* Shake for factory reset
* Norton MacAfee protection: if you're ever attacked by John MacAfee, Peter Norton will come out of retirement to defend you

:[Text below the phone:]
:<big>The xkcd Phone 12* and 12 Max**</big>

:<nowiki>*Standard</nowiki> **For people named Max

:"The only phone you'll ever own"®™

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

2360: Common Star Types

2022-03-29T21:36:40Z

172.70.175.54: /* Star types */

{{comic
| number = 2360
| date = September 16, 2020
| title = Common Star Types
| image = common_star_types.png
| titletext = This article is about Eta Carinae, a luminous blue hypergiant with anomalous Fe[ii] emission spectra. For the 1998 Brad Bird film, see The Iron Giant (film).
}}

==Explanation==
This 'infographic' chart purports to be a comparative guide to various star types, often described by a basic color, which is something that even naked-eye astronomy has determined, and may be qualified as 'dwarf' or 'giant' to describe relative sizes. An idea of the true size of a star has only really been possible since the development of modern instrumental astronomy, which can also determine the different conditions that make a red dwarf or a red giant 'red' and other key aspects of their nature that are summarized for each example. See [[#Star types|table below]].

In true xkcd tradition, this is taken beyond reality. The pantheon of stars illustrated extend the use of 'dwarf' and 'giant' as if describing mythical or fictional beings, drawing upon others from the fantasy ilk with hues and shades that may not be typically described, or even encountered, by astronomers. The aspect information provided for these 'star' types is based upon the respective mythologies.

The title text is in the style of a {{w|Wikipedia}} page's hatnote / reference note. A page might have a title that is too easily landed upon by a search term that might also be expected to lead to one under a quite different subject, such as the {{w|Red Dwarf|case-sensitive example}} of "This article is about the British comedy franchise. For the type of star, see {{w|Red dwarf}}." In this case, it was written as if the page {{w|Iron Giant}} redirected to {{w|Eta Carinae}}, a large {{w|luminous blue variable}} star which has a relatively high level of {{w|Iron(II)|ferrous ions}}. Although there is a vaguely plausible reason for the star to be called an "iron giant", astronomers do not commonly use that particular name (the alternative of "{{w|iron star}}" is used for an article about hypothesized class of stellar-mass object, though the description allows that there is a separate usage that relates to Eta Carinae) and you are currently only redirected straight upon ''{{w|The Iron Giant}}'', that first movie directed by Brad Bird. This note [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Eta_Carinae&oldid=978789727 was added] to Wikipedia, but quickly removed.

===Star types===
{| class="wikitable"
!Star !! Note!! Description
|-
| style="background: #f3f295;"| {{w|Yellow dwarf star|Yellow Dwarf}} || warm, stable, slowly growing || A real star type. This is the type of star that {{w|Sun|our sun}} is, with a lifespan measured in billions of years. The title "dwarf" is a misnomer, as the Sun is actually larger than most stars, but it was once thought to be smaller than average as larger stars turn out to be more visible than smaller stars over a given distance.
|-
| style="background: #d06632;"| {{w|Red giant|Red Giant}} || huge, cool, luminous || A real star type. When stars at about the Sun's size begin to run out of fusion fuel, they expand to become red giants, and the outer shells expand and cool. When our sun enters this phase in a few billion years, it will consume Mercury, Venus, and possibly the Earth.
|-
| style="background: #e6f5fc;"| {{w|White dwarf|White Dwarf}} ||small, hot, dim || A real thing, though not a true star, but a remnant of one. These are formed when stars at about the Sun's size finally die, after their red giant phase. They are extremely dense and no longer undergo nuclear fusion. They are responsible for {{w|Type Ia supernova}}, a {{w|Cosmic Distance Ladder|standard candle}} of astronomy.
|-
| style="background: #b5514f;"| {{w|Red dwarf|Red Dwarf}} ||small, cool, ancient, dim || A real star type. The most common, smallest, and coolest type of true star in the universe. ({{w|Brown dwarf|Brown dwarfs}} are smaller and cooler, but do not undergo hydrogen fusion.) These can live for trillions of years; the first red dwarfs to form in the universe are still alive today and will be alive long after the Sun reaches its end.

''{{w|Red Dwarf}}'' is also a science fiction TV series being produced in UK since 1988, named after the eponymous mining ship. This ship is ''small'' (compared to a star) and {{w|Cat_(Red_Dwarf)|one of the characters}} is indeed very ''cool'' (as in a cool cat), but ''dim''-witted (the star of the series is none too bright, either). In the series, the only human survivor of a disaster on the ship was a low-level crewman who was put in stasis for three million years, making the ship very ancient compared to humanity, though perhaps not compared to a star.
|-
| style="background: #88a577;"| Green Elf |||old, diminishes into the West || An invention of Randall's, and a reference to the elves of {{w|Tolkien's legendarium}}. Tolkien's elves are immortal but slowly diminish over time, and leave {{w|Middle-earth}} (where ''The Lord of the Rings'' is set), sailing into the West as magic fades.
|-
| style="background: #bce1f3;"| {{w|Blue giant|Blue Giant}} ||large, hot, short-lived || A real star type. The largest class of star in the main sequence, these are highly luminous and have life spans measured in only millions of years, rather than the billions or trillions of years for other star types.
|-
| style="background: #37cbbd;"| Teal Sphynx ||cryptic, eternal || An invention of Randall's; likely a form of the Greek {{w|Sphinx#Riddle_of_the_Sphinx|sphinx}}, which presents riddles to hapless travelers. One can only imagine what stellar riddles would be like.
|-
| style="background: #cecece;"| Gray Wizard ||wise, powerful, mercurial || An invention of Randall's, and also a reference to ''Lord of the Rings''. {{w|Gandalf the Grey}}, a wizard, is a protagonist and the main mentor figure in ''The Hobbit'' and ''The Lord of the Rings'', guiding and assisting the journeys within the books, often in mysterious ways that could be described as "{{wiktionary|mercurial#Adjective|mercurial}}". Gandalf later falls in battle and returns as Gandalf the White, much as stars (up to ~10 solar masses) will evolve into white dwarfs, but this evolution is not shown on this chart. Interestingly, the word for "wizard" in the Elvish language Quenya is ''istar'' (plural: ''istari'').
|-
| style="background: #6671de;"| Indigo Banshee ||bright, portentous, extremely loud || An invention of Randall's, and a reference to {{w|banshees}}, a type of Irish spirit or ghost which wails loudly at a person's death. {{w|Indigo}} may also be considered a particularly {{wiktionary|loud#Adjective|loud color}}. May or may not be a reference to {{w|Indigo children}}, a pseudoscientific term used by some to describe children with unusual personalities or learning abilities. Could also represent a neutron star.
|-
| style="background: #ebe5cd;"| Beige Gorgon ||dangerous to observe at optical wavelengths || An invention of Randall's, and a reference to the {{w|Gorgon}} sisters in {{w|Greek Mythology}}, most famously {{w|Medusa}}. "Dangerous to observe at optical wavelengths" refers to the property of Medusa in which anyone who gazes upon her face will turn to stone. However, seeing Medusa's reflection is safe, so [[1791: Telescopes: Refractor vs Reflector|most astronomers should be fine.]] This is probably why its color is known, unlike Medusa's, whose observers have a high mortality rate. The choice of the color "beige" for this kind of "star" may be a reference to {{w|cosmic latte}}, the "average color" of the universe.

In reality, the star {{w|Algol}} and other nearby stars in the constellation of Perseus were historically referred to as the "Gorgonea", representing Medusa's head after Perseus cut it off. Medusa is also the namesake of {{w|Medusa Nebula|a nebula}}, {{w|NGC 4194|a pair of colliding galaxies}}, and {{w|149 Medusa|an asteroid}}. No observers of any of these celestial bodies have been petrified.{{Citation needed}}
|}

==Transcript==
:[A chart, with ten colored circles representing stars of different colors and sizes. Each circle has a label, with a line going from the label to the circle. Below each label is a small description in smaller font. The text is listed from the top left. Above all the circles is the following heading:]
:<big>Common star types</big>

:[A small yellow star.]
:Yellow dwarf
:Warm, stable, slowly-growing

:[An even smaller white star.]
:White dwarf
:Small, hot, dim

:[A very large red-orange star squishing the previous two stars into the corners of the chart.]
:Red giant
:Huge, cool, luminous

:[A small red star.]
:Red dwarf
:Small, cool, ancient, dim

:[An olive green, medium-sized star.]
:Green elf
:Old, diminishes into the west

:[A fairly large pale blue star.]
:Blue giant
:Large, hot, short-lived

:[A blue-green, medium-sized star.]
:Teal sphynx
:Cryptic, eternal

:[A small silver-colored star.]
:Gray wizard
:Wise, powerful, mercurial

:[A tiny blue star.]
:Indigo banshee
:Bright, portentous, extremely loud

:[A beige, medium-sized star.]
:Beige gorgon
:Dangerous to observe at optical wavelengths.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Fiction]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]

2360: Common Star Types

2022-03-29T21:34:52Z

172.70.175.54: /* Star types */

{{comic
| number = 2360
| date = September 16, 2020
| title = Common Star Types
| image = common_star_types.png
| titletext = This article is about Eta Carinae, a luminous blue hypergiant with anomalous Fe[ii] emission spectra. For the 1998 Brad Bird film, see The Iron Giant (film).
}}

==Explanation==
This 'infographic' chart purports to be a comparative guide to various star types, often described by a basic color, which is something that even naked-eye astronomy has determined, and may be qualified as 'dwarf' or 'giant' to describe relative sizes. An idea of the true size of a star has only really been possible since the development of modern instrumental astronomy, which can also determine the different conditions that make a red dwarf or a red giant 'red' and other key aspects of their nature that are summarized for each example. See [[#Star types|table below]].

In true xkcd tradition, this is taken beyond reality. The pantheon of stars illustrated extend the use of 'dwarf' and 'giant' as if describing mythical or fictional beings, drawing upon others from the fantasy ilk with hues and shades that may not be typically described, or even encountered, by astronomers. The aspect information provided for these 'star' types is based upon the respective mythologies.

The title text is in the style of a {{w|Wikipedia}} page's hatnote / reference note. A page might have a title that is too easily landed upon by a search term that might also be expected to lead to one under a quite different subject, such as the {{w|Red Dwarf|case-sensitive example}} of "This article is about the British comedy franchise. For the type of star, see {{w|Red dwarf}}." In this case, it was written as if the page {{w|Iron Giant}} redirected to {{w|Eta Carinae}}, a large {{w|luminous blue variable}} star which has a relatively high level of {{w|Iron(II)|ferrous ions}}. Although there is a vaguely plausible reason for the star to be called an "iron giant", astronomers do not commonly use that particular name (the alternative of "{{w|iron star}}" is used for an article about hypothesized class of stellar-mass object, though the description allows that there is a separate usage that relates to Eta Carinae) and you are currently only redirected straight upon ''{{w|The Iron Giant}}'', that first movie directed by Brad Bird. This note [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Eta_Carinae&oldid=978789727 was added] to Wikipedia, but quickly removed.

===Star types===
{| class="wikitable"
!Star !! Note!! Description
|-
| style="background: #f3f295;"| {{w|Yellow dwarf star|Yellow Dwarf}} || warm, stable, slowly growing || A real star type. This is the type of star that {{w|Sun|our sun}} is, with a lifespan measured in billions of years. The title "dwarf" is a misnomer, as the Sun is actually larger than most stars, but it was once thought to be smaller than average as larger stars turn out to be more visible than smaller stars over a given distance.
|-
| style="background: #d06632;"| {{w|Red giant|Red Giant}} || huge, cool, luminous || A real star type. When stars at about the Sun's size begin to run out of fusion fuel, they expand to become red giants, and the outer shells expand and cool. When our sun enters this phase in a few billion years, it will consume Mercury, Venus, and possibly the Earth.
|-
| style="background: #e6f5fc;"| {{w|White dwarf|White Dwarf}} ||small, hot, dim || A real thing, though not a true star, but a remnant of one. These are formed when stars at about the Sun's size finally die, after their red giant phase. They are extremely dense and no longer undergo nuclear fusion. They are responsible for {{w|Type Ia supernova}}, a {{w|Cosmic Distance Ladder|standard candle}} of astronomy.
|-
| style="background: #b5514f;"| {{w|Red dwarf|Red Dwarf}} ||small, cool, ancient, dim || A real star type. The most common, smallest, and coolest type of true star in the universe. ({{w|Brown dwarf|Brown dwarfs}} are smaller and cooler, but do not undergo hydrogen fusion.) These can live for trillions of years; the first red dwarfs to form in the universe are still alive today and will be alive long after the Sun reaches its end.

''{{w|Red Dwarf}}'' is also a science fiction TV series being produced in UK since 1988, named after the eponymous mining ship. This ship is ''small'' (compared to a star) and {{w|Cat_(Red_Dwarf)|one of the characters}} is indeed very ''cool'' (as in a cool cat), but ''dim''-witted (the star of the series is none to bright either). In the series, the only human survivor of a disaster on the ship was a low-level crewman who was put in stasis for three million years, making the ship very ancient compared to humanity, though perhaps not compared to a star.
|-
| style="background: #88a577;"| Green Elf |||old, diminishes into the West || An invention of Randall's, and a reference to the elves of {{w|Tolkien's legendarium}}. Tolkien's elves are immortal but slowly diminish over time, and leave {{w|Middle-earth}}, (where ''The Lord of the Rings'' is set) emigrating to the West as magic fades.
|-
| style="background: #bce1f3;"| {{w|Blue giant|Blue Giant}} ||large, hot, short-lived || A real star type. The largest class of star in the main sequence, these are highly luminous and have life spans measured in only millions of years, rather than the billions or trillions of years for other star types.
|-
| style="background: #37cbbd;"| Teal Sphynx ||cryptic, eternal || An invention of Randall's; likely a form of the Greek {{w|Sphinx#Riddle_of_the_Sphinx|sphinx}}, which presents riddles to hapless travelers. One can only imagine what stellar riddles would be like.
|-
| style="background: #cecece;"| Gray Wizard ||wise, powerful, mercurial || An invention of Randall's, and also a reference to ''Lord of the Rings''. {{w|Gandalf the Grey}}, a wizard, is a protagonist and the main mentor figure in ''The Hobbit'' and ''The Lord of the Rings'', guiding and assisting the journeys within the books, often in mysterious ways that could be described as "{{wiktionary|mercurial#Adjective|mercurial}}". Gandalf later falls in battle and returns as Gandalf the White, much as stars (up to ~10 solar masses) will evolve into white dwarfs, but this evolution is not shown on this chart. Interestingly, the word for "wizard" in the Elvish language Quenya is ''istar'' (plural: ''istari'').
|-
| style="background: #6671de;"| Indigo Banshee ||bright, portentous, extremely loud || An invention of Randall's, and a reference to {{w|banshees}}, a type of Irish spirit or ghost which wails loudly at a person's death. {{w|Indigo}} may also be considered a particularly {{wiktionary|loud#Adjective|loud color}}. May or may not be a reference to {{w|Indigo children}}, a pseudoscientific term used by some to describe children with unusual personalities or learning abilities. Could also represent a neutron star.
|-
| style="background: #ebe5cd;"| Beige Gorgon ||dangerous to observe at optical wavelengths || An invention of Randall's, and a reference to the {{w|Gorgon}} sisters in {{w|Greek Mythology}}, most famously {{w|Medusa}}. "Dangerous to observe at optical wavelengths" refers to the property of Medusa in which anyone who gazes upon her face will turn to stone. However, seeing Medusa's reflection is safe, so [[1791: Telescopes: Refractor vs Reflector|most astronomers should be fine.]] This is probably why its color is known, unlike Medusa's, whose observers have a high mortality rate. The choice of the color "beige" for this kind of "star" may be a reference to {{w|cosmic latte}}, the "average color" of the universe.

In reality, the star {{w|Algol}} and other nearby stars in the constellation of Perseus were historically referred to as the "Gorgonea", representing Medusa's head after Perseus cut it off. Medusa is also the namesake of {{w|Medusa Nebula|a nebula}}, {{w|NGC 4194|a pair of colliding galaxies}}, and {{w|149 Medusa|an asteroid}}. No observers of any of these celestial bodies have been petrified.{{Citation needed}}
|}

==Transcript==
:[A chart, with ten colored circles representing stars of different colors and sizes. Each circle has a label, with a line going from the label to the circle. Below each label is a small description in smaller font. The text is listed from the top left. Above all the circles is the following heading:]
:<big>Common star types</big>

:[A small yellow star.]
:Yellow dwarf
:Warm, stable, slowly-growing

:[An even smaller white star.]
:White dwarf
:Small, hot, dim

:[A very large red-orange star squishing the previous two stars into the corners of the chart.]
:Red giant
:Huge, cool, luminous

:[A small red star.]
:Red dwarf
:Small, cool, ancient, dim

:[An olive green, medium-sized star.]
:Green elf
:Old, diminishes into the west

:[A fairly large pale blue star.]
:Blue giant
:Large, hot, short-lived

:[A blue-green, medium-sized star.]
:Teal sphynx
:Cryptic, eternal

:[A small silver-colored star.]
:Gray wizard
:Wise, powerful, mercurial

:[A tiny blue star.]
:Indigo banshee
:Bright, portentous, extremely loud

:[A beige, medium-sized star.]
:Beige gorgon
:Dangerous to observe at optical wavelengths.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Fiction]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]

Talk:2595: Advanced Techniques

2022-03-27T22:26:54Z

172.70.175.54:

The title text refers to [[wikipedia:Noether's theorem|Noether's theorem]]. [[User:Trimeta|Trimeta]] ([[User talk:Trimeta|talk]]) 04:24, 19 March 2022 (UTC)

This is my first explanation [[User:GcGYSF(asterisk)P(vertical line)e|GcGYSF(asterisk)P(vertical line)e]] ([[User talk:GcGYSF(asterisk)P(vertical line)e|talk]]) 05:41, 19 March 2022 (UTC)

This sounds a lot like Laplace or Fourier transforms, converting a function into a different where it is easier to manipulate then reversing the transformation. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.173|108.162.245.173]] 06:28, 19 March 2022 (UTC)
:When I was learning to use fourier transforms in EE, they were very straightforwardly (and accurately) described as "transferring the function to the Spectral Domain". [[Special:Contributions/172.70.110.241|172.70.110.241]] 22:45, 19 March 2022 (UTC)

I'm not sure that it's proper to refer to someone as a "giant" while explaining a comic that references mythological creatures. Unless it was literal of course, but as far as I'm aware giants never existed. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.111.12|162.158.111.12]] 11:28, 19 March 2022 (UTC)
:I think she may actually have been a wizard-giant.[[User:Iggynelix|Iggynelix]] ([[User talk:Iggynelix|talk]]) 13:41, 19 March 2022 (UTC)

Not my area, but I am passingly familiar with the [[:wikipedia:Gauss–Kuzmin–Wirsing_operator|Gauss–Kuzmin–Wirsing Operator]], [[wikipedia:Dragon curve|Dragon Curves]], and [[wikipedia:Hilbert spaces|Hilbert ''Spaces'']] (guessing that the "arrow" refers to scalar vector?). Some type of iterative/recursive conversion that yields to analysis of the period? Probably not pertinent to the joke which is more about the fanciful names attached to mathematical concepts, constructs, and processes [[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.173|108.162.245.173]] 11:53, 19 March 2022 (UTC)

I find it interesting that despite now being the day after release (or well into the next day, my time, which is usually sufficient — and I'm not in a DST zone yet) the site explanation hasn't explained (or thought it has explained) every single element of the in-comic 'explanation' — even if not established the (probably) nonsensical whole. As an example, I don't yet see the obvious {{w|Dragon_curve|dragon}} element that is both alluded to ''and'' seemingly illustrated upon the board-notes. Leaving this here to help near-future editors who might have time to bullet-point/tabulate/sub-heading these things and just need that extra bit of info. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.159.125|162.158.159.125]] 15:01, 19 March 2022 (UTC)

There is the misquote of Arthur Clarke "All sufficiently advanced [strike]technologies[/strike] mathematical techniques are indistinguishable from magic." [[User:Arachrah|Arachrah]] ([[User talk:Arachrah|talk]])
:Fix it!
:[[User:ProphetZarquon|ProphetZarquon]] ([[User talk:ProphetZarquon|talk]]) 23:28, 19 March 2022 (UTC)
::I'm not sure what Arachrah means, because technologies is included in the original version: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. I have corrected the explanation to that and also added link to wiki. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 08:25, 21 March 2022 (UTC)

The explanation should decide whether the teacher is Miss Lenhart, or Blondie. I think it's Miss Lenhart. [[User:Nitpicking|Nitpicking]] ([[User talk:Nitpicking|talk]]) 17:02, 19 March 2022 (UTC)
:A teaching [[Blondie]] is always Miss Lenhart. It has been corrected before I came here. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 08:25, 21 March 2022 (UTC)

That dragon looks suspiciously like Trogdor...[[Special:Contributions/162.158.146.73|162.158.146.73]]
:It just looks like a normal wyvern to me, though the perspective doesn't give us much detail to help tell those two cases apart. I think if it ''were'' Trogdor though, fewer liberties would have been taken with the shape of the dragon's body. (To be confident we would have to figure out the original problem and use Gauss' operator ourselves to get a more detailed look, which seems difficult.) [[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.11|141.101.104.11]] 16:25, 20 March 2022 (UTC)

"Critical Role: Call of the Netherdeep" released this week, for D&D 5e.
[[User:ProphetZarquon|ProphetZarquon]] ([[User talk:ProphetZarquon|talk]]) 23:28, 19 March 2022 (UTC)

Come to think of it, we do use fantasy-sounding expressions in math: e.g. titanic prime, imaginary part, infinite field, ideals, friendly numbers, brute force attack. I'm pretty sure there are many more fun examples.
[[User:Yosei|Yosei]] ([[User talk:Yosei|talk]]) 04:16, 20 March 2022 (UTC)

PS: "Sexy primes" and "latus rectum" are real technical terms.
[[User:Yosei|Yosei]] ([[User talk:Yosei|talk]]) 04:16, 20 March 2022 (UTC)
:Its weird how this fantastic math have failed to solve the 3n+1 problem. Because I do believe I have solved it within this week. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.246.55|172.70.246.55]] 18:31, 20 March 2022 (UTC)

I'm glad the wiki format saves old versions of explanations, because it would be a shame if that incomplete notice would be gone forever once the explanation is complete enough. Made me chuckle! [[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.11|141.101.104.11]] 08:23, 21 March 2022 (UTC)

I suspect there's also an aspect of how, if you don't know the mathematical concepts involved, some of these solution methods can seem more like the author is just casting spells. The context that most immediately comes to me is solving integrals with weird techniques that involve mapping to other planes and such. I would say that solving integrals was the first place I really saw creativity being heavily focused on in my math curriculum. [[User:Trlkly|Trlkly]] ([[User talk:Trlkly|talk]]) 08:43, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
: I couldn't agree more. {{unsigned ip|172.70.250.231}}
: I agree as well. "An alternative view" seems like the wrong way to state this: I believe the ''entire'' joke is that Randall is comparing the processes described in the preceding paragraph (transforming a function to another domain & such), to the "sufficiently advanced technology" of Clarke's "third law". It's not an either/or proposition: The references to advanced maths are there, to illustrate how fine the line is between complex operations, & "magic"; & the D&D metaphors are there, to bring the "magic" into a context that sounds more structured & math-like, than some arbitrary 'hocus pocus'.
: [[User:ProphetZarquon|ProphetZarquon]] ([[User talk:ProphetZarquon|talk]]) 22:33, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
::Agree as well. Reminds me of the Langlands Programme. Guess Randall has been reading that article, too.--[[Special:Contributions/172.70.251.112|172.70.251.112]] 16:27, 23 March 2022 (UTC)

Re. '[metaphor] is not usually used in math classes.' - it's used a lot more than you might initially assume - there's at least one example in this explanation, where it talks about transforming between 'domains'.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.34.119|162.158.34.119]] 09:18, 22 March 2022 (UTC)

I had an entirely different take. It is not unknown for mathematicians to use whimsical names. In a new field whimsical names are common, because the usual suspects are taken. It is entirely possible to have well defined mathematical objects called dragons and corpses and an operator called Hilbert's arrow. Ms. Lenhart could be giving a dry description of a mathematical technique using the language common to the field.[[Special:Contributions/172.70.175.54|172.70.175.54]] 22:26, 27 March 2022 (UTC)

Danish

2022-03-24T02:48:46Z

172.70.175.54: /* Appearances */

{{Infobox character
| image = Danish.png‎
| imagesize = 150px
| caption = Danish
| first_appearance = [[377: Journal 2]]
}}

'''Danish''' is a [[stick figure]] character in [[xkcd]]. She frequently appears with [[Black Hat]], and like him, is one of the few xkcd characters to represent the same character in each appearance.

==Characteristics==
Danish is characterized by her cynicism and devilish tricks. She is very similar in appearance to [[Megan]], but has distinctly longer hair. Personality-wise, she is similar to [[Black Hat]], with whom she seems to have a permanent romantic relationship that began in the [[:Category:Journal|Journal]] series (which also marked her first appearance). Thus, she mainly appears in comics together with Black Hat, which is the most certain giveaway that a long-haired woman is Danish rather than Megan.

==Name==
Like most xkcd characters, her real name is unknown. The name "Danish" is picked from when [[Black Hat]] called her "my dearest darling danish", as a term of endearment, referring to a {{w|danish pastry}} in [[515: No One Must Know]]. Obviously, this is not her real name, but as it is the only name given to her by any character, it is the name used here.

==Appearances==
Danish first appeared in the [[:Category:Journal|Journal]] series as an adversary of Black Hat who could match his cunning and trickery. At the end of that series, it seems that she got under Black Hat's skin which resulting in them going on a date.

She thus later appears to be in a continued relationship with Black Hat, as seen in [[440: Road Rage]], [[515: No One Must Know]], [[524: Party]] and [[542: Cover-Up]]. She mainly appears together with him, although after her first seven appearances after ''Journal'' ended she began appearing without him, the first time being in [[914: Ice]]. In cases where Black Hat is not present, it can be difficult to determine with certainty that it is her. However, obvious examples of her personality, as in ''Ice'', are reason enough to confirm her identity.

A girl who resembles Danish appeared in [[139: I Have Owned Two Electric Skateboards]], long before she was introduced in the Journal series. In [[177: Alice and Bob]] a similar-looking character with a propensity to destruction is called Eve – a reference to cryptographic schemes involving communication between Alice and Bob with Eve playing the role of an attacker.

In [[1608: Hoverboard]] there is a [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/b/bc/1608_1012x1078y_Bridge_on_the_Rebel_Blockade_Runner.png long-haired woman on the bridge] of the Rebel Blockade Runner, whose behavior towards both ''Star Wars'' as well as ''Star Trek'' fans could suggest that it was Danish. However, there is not enough evidence that this is Danish to list her as such.

==See also==
*[[:Category:Comics featuring Danish|Comics featuring Danish]]
*[[User:Danish]]

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