explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

Talk:3036: Chess Zoo

2025-01-11T02:41:16Z

172.70.214.205:

For the transcript, I’m thinking of saying that “there are alternating white and grey squares, with smaller black squares imposed on them. The pattern of squares goes ''[something like GWBWGWBWGBW]''“. Would that work? Or is it too confusing? '''[[User:42.book.addict|42.book.addict]][[User talk:42.book.addict|Talk to me!]]''' 19:03, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
:Re: "GWBWGWBWGBW", knowing who we are here, I presume people might want to distinguish black-on-white from black-on-gray. We'd probably have to have a full markup system for background (gray/white) and foreground (empty, human, barrier, white pawn, gray pawn...). Maybe something like {[gE][wE][gB][wQg]}... Hrm... Because, of course, it has to be as complicated and precise as possible. :) [[Special:Contributions/172.70.46.135|172.70.46.135]] 19:15, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
::I don’t really like the current transcript because I believe that it’s more confusing to read than my version. Anyone have thoughts? '''[[User:42.book.addict|42.book.addict]][[User talk:42.book.addict|Talk to me!]]''' 23:28, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
:::Although I do have a suggestion for the transcript: instead of having “H” as a representation of a human, we can have C for [[Cueball]], H for [[Hairy]], P for [[Ponytail]], W for [[White Hat]], D for [[Danish]], M for [[Megan]], and K for [[Knit Cap]]. We could also have Unicode black squares instead of the “#” and color the pieces with span. Thoughts? '''[[User:42.book.addict|42.book.addict]][[User talk:42.book.addict|Talk to me!]]''' 00:14, 11 January 2025 (UTC)

I don't think it's safe to allow people to go into the bishop enclosure, especially with high aggression in that area since both colors are able to look at each other there but not capture. One of those bishops is eventually going to take it out on someone. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.90.210|162.158.90.210]] 19:34, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
:I don't know how dangerous they are to visitors in general, but I wouldn't leave children with them unattended. Maybe the enclosures with the knights would be good petting zoos. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 19:49, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
:Thank you for reporting the bishop feeding gate being open, as this was the fifteenth time the one responsible failed to close it after feeding, he has been summarily fired.[[Special:Contributions/172.70.47.106|172.70.47.106]] 20:02, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
The zoo seems to be missing an area for knights and bishops to interact. (It has a knight/queen area, a knight/rook area, and a rook/bishop area. It can't have queen/rook or queen/bishop areas if it wants to have areas for rooks or bishops that exclude queens, because nothing blocks queens without blocking rooks and bishops. But it could have a knight/bishop mingling area, accessible to knights via wall-jump and to bishops via a diagonal corridor, and it doesn't.) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.187.84|162.158.187.84]] 20:07, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
:Similarly, couldn't the pawn promoting zones be more centrally located each side, and have passages respectively for queens/rooks and for knights? Of course then those could enter and interact with promoting pawns, but why would that be deemed a problem? --[[Special:Contributions/172.69.222.164|172.69.222.164]] 20:41, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
I don't have permissions to upload an image to this wiki, but if anyone who does would like to copy it over, I illustrated each piece's range of movement here[https://pasteboard.co/64VsBMA5af8l.png]. [[User:D5xtgr|D5xtgr]] ([[User talk:D5xtgr|talk]]) 20:09, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
:You can't have same-coloured knights also enter into an opposites-of-bishop shared space, because for all the wish to have shared (overlapping but not congruent) spaces for pieces of the same colour but different limitations, the presence of the anti-bishops would mean contention with the pro-knights.
:The fact tht the pawn-enclosures are totally without any same-set pieces (well, apart from the knight, but that was from a promotion) ''does'' seem to suggest there's a lack of possible mixing going on, I know. But, the way I read it, if heterochromic pieces can be 'mixed', then they can (which effectively is just the two different ecclesiastical compliments), with homochomic ones then also being allowed to mix if they can do so in a way such that they have ''all'' of an "A and B" area, an "A-only" area and a "B-only" area (it's a bit more complicated than that with the kings and queens, as they can traverse all of the same areas as each other, plus the lobe of knight-area which overlaps, but you have "knight+royal", "royal-only" and "knight-only").
:Though I ''can'' think of one such sharing-situation I would mark down as missed: i.e. a pawn sharing a space with bishops and/or knights with a bishop-/knight-proof corridor 'directly forward' (and, of course, no sideways movement allowed by the pawn), giving the pawn both its unique space and shared space and only-the-other-piece spaces off to the sides. Though, the whole promotion prospects means that just about anything could 'suddenly' be in the pawn-only space, thus sending potential knights/bishops into that 'by proxy'.
:...or maybe I've not extrapolated Randall's precise methodology here, but I believe I've accounted the general limitations he seems to have worked to. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.33.215|162.158.33.215]] 00:57, 11 January 2025 (UTC)

The plan of the zoo looks like opposing Lewis Chess Men! [[User:Nicholasbailey87|Nicholasbailey87]] ([[User talk:Nicholasbailey87|talk]]) 23:28, 10 January 2025 (UTC)

the transcript needs to be descriptive rather than a text-based diagram so it's screenreader accessible. if someone thinks it's necessary they can move the ascii art to the description. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.71.101|172.68.71.101]] 23:40, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
A knight recently escaped. When asked for comment, the director of the zoo said "!?" [[Special:Contributions/172.68.70.134|172.68.70.134]] 01:07, 11 January 2025 (UTC)

This is actually a sokoban chess puzzle, where the pieces can push the blocks. White to move and mate in 47.[[Special:Contributions/172.70.214.205|172.70.214.205]] 02:40, 11 January 2025 (UTC)NickM

Talk:3036: Chess Zoo

2025-01-11T02:40:50Z

172.70.214.205:

For the transcript, I’m thinking of saying that “there are alternating white and grey squares, with smaller black squares imposed on them. The pattern of squares goes ''[something like GWBWGWBWGBW]''“. Would that work? Or is it too confusing? '''[[User:42.book.addict|42.book.addict]][[User talk:42.book.addict|Talk to me!]]''' 19:03, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
:Re: "GWBWGWBWGBW", knowing who we are here, I presume people might want to distinguish black-on-white from black-on-gray. We'd probably have to have a full markup system for background (gray/white) and foreground (empty, human, barrier, white pawn, gray pawn...). Maybe something like {[gE][wE][gB][wQg]}... Hrm... Because, of course, it has to be as complicated and precise as possible. :) [[Special:Contributions/172.70.46.135|172.70.46.135]] 19:15, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
::I don’t really like the current transcript because I believe that it’s more confusing to read than my version. Anyone have thoughts? '''[[User:42.book.addict|42.book.addict]][[User talk:42.book.addict|Talk to me!]]''' 23:28, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
:::Although I do have a suggestion for the transcript: instead of having “H” as a representation of a human, we can have C for [[Cueball]], H for [[Hairy]], P for [[Ponytail]], W for [[White Hat]], D for [[Danish]], M for [[Megan]], and K for [[Knit Cap]]. We could also have Unicode black squares instead of the “#” and color the pieces with span. Thoughts? '''[[User:42.book.addict|42.book.addict]][[User talk:42.book.addict|Talk to me!]]''' 00:14, 11 January 2025 (UTC)

I don't think it's safe to allow people to go into the bishop enclosure, especially with high aggression in that area since both colors are able to look at each other there but not capture. One of those bishops is eventually going to take it out on someone. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.90.210|162.158.90.210]] 19:34, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
:I don't know how dangerous they are to visitors in general, but I wouldn't leave children with them unattended. Maybe the enclosures with the knights would be good petting zoos. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 19:49, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
:Thank you for reporting the bishop feeding gate being open, as this was the fifteenth time the one responsible failed to close it after feeding, he has been summarily fired.[[Special:Contributions/172.70.47.106|172.70.47.106]] 20:02, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
The zoo seems to be missing an area for knights and bishops to interact. (It has a knight/queen area, a knight/rook area, and a rook/bishop area. It can't have queen/rook or queen/bishop areas if it wants to have areas for rooks or bishops that exclude queens, because nothing blocks queens without blocking rooks and bishops. But it could have a knight/bishop mingling area, accessible to knights via wall-jump and to bishops via a diagonal corridor, and it doesn't.) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.187.84|162.158.187.84]] 20:07, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
:Similarly, couldn't the pawn promoting zones be more centrally located each side, and have passages respectively for queens/rooks and for knights? Of course then those could enter and interact with promoting pawns, but why would that be deemed a problem? --[[Special:Contributions/172.69.222.164|172.69.222.164]] 20:41, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
I don't have permissions to upload an image to this wiki, but if anyone who does would like to copy it over, I illustrated each piece's range of movement here[https://pasteboard.co/64VsBMA5af8l.png]. [[User:D5xtgr|D5xtgr]] ([[User talk:D5xtgr|talk]]) 20:09, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
:You can't have same-coloured knights also enter into an opposites-of-bishop shared space, because for all the wish to have shared (overlapping but not congruent) spaces for pieces of the same colour but different limitations, the presence of the anti-bishops would mean contention with the pro-knights.
:The fact tht the pawn-enclosures are totally without any same-set pieces (well, apart from the knight, but that was from a promotion) ''does'' seem to suggest there's a lack of possible mixing going on, I know. But, the way I read it, if heterochromic pieces can be 'mixed', then they can (which effectively is just the two different ecclesiastical compliments), with homochomic ones then also being allowed to mix if they can do so in a way such that they have ''all'' of an "A and B" area, an "A-only" area and a "B-only" area (it's a bit more complicated than that with the kings and queens, as they can traverse all of the same areas as each other, plus the lobe of knight-area which overlaps, but you have "knight+royal", "royal-only" and "knight-only").
:Though I ''can'' think of one such sharing-situation I would mark down as missed: i.e. a pawn sharing a space with bishops and/or knights with a bishop-/knight-proof corridor 'directly forward' (and, of course, no sideways movement allowed by the pawn), giving the pawn both its unique space and shared space and only-the-other-piece spaces off to the sides. Though, the whole promotion prospects means that just about anything could 'suddenly' be in the pawn-only space, thus sending potential knights/bishops into that 'by proxy'.
:...or maybe I've not extrapolated Randall's precise methodology here, but I believe I've accounted the general limitations he seems to have worked to. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.33.215|162.158.33.215]] 00:57, 11 January 2025 (UTC)

The plan of the zoo looks like opposing Lewis Chess Men! [[User:Nicholasbailey87|Nicholasbailey87]] ([[User talk:Nicholasbailey87|talk]]) 23:28, 10 January 2025 (UTC)

the transcript needs to be descriptive rather than a text-based diagram so it's screenreader accessible. if someone thinks it's necessary they can move the ascii art to the description. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.71.101|172.68.71.101]] 23:40, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
A knight recently escaped. When asked for comment, the director of the zoo said "!?" [[Special:Contributions/172.68.70.134|172.68.70.134]] 01:07, 11 January 2025 (UTC)
This is actually a sokoban chess puzzle, where the pieces can push the blocks. White to move and mate in 47.[[Special:Contributions/172.70.214.205|172.70.214.205]] 02:40, 11 January 2025 (UTC)NickM

2752: Salt Dome

2023-03-21T01:02:46Z

172.70.214.205: /* Transcript */ food-related

{{comic
| number = 2752
| date = March 20, 2023
| title = Salt Dome
| image = salt_dome_2x.png
| imagesize = 422x338px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The US uses hollowed-out salt domes to store the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, and non-hollowed-out ones to store the Strategic Salt Reserve.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by Tsunami or Tidal Wave - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic refers to how downwards pressure in one area of the world can cause upwards pressure in another, causing {{w|salt domes}} to rise up.

In the comic, [[Beret Guy]] and [[Ponytail]] are sitting at a table and eating dinner, alongside [[Cueball]], who is presumably a {{w|geologist}}. Thus, when asked to "pass the salt," Cueball, with his extensive professional knowledge of the Earth's crust and its interactions with the surface world, is aware of this phenomenon, and as such is stomping on his chair in order to create downward pressure on the ground beneath. This apparently works exactly as intended, as a salt dome begins rising out of the floor and even begins to break through the dinner table. The caption humorously remarks that this is what will happen if you ask any geologist to "pass the salt," which conventionally means to simply hand a salt shaker or dispenser to another diner who cannot reach it (and a salt shaker can indeed be seen on their table).

Cueball also mentions {{w|overburden pressure}}, a geological term referring to the pressure that outer layers of rock exert on inner layers. This is what usually causes the rising of salt domes, though Cueball is employing it to an absurd degree here.

In the title text, the {{w|Strategic Petroleum Reserve (United States)|Strategic Petroleum Reserve}} is a United States government reserve of oil in case of emergencies. Randall observes the actually true fact that artificial caves within hollowed-out salt domes create the spaces for the government to store this oil. However, he then makes the not-quite-absurd, but still amusing remark that in turn, the fictional{{citation needed}} Strategic Salt Reserve simply consists of completely-intact salt domes, which obviously means they are full of salt and as such serve their function as a salt reserve perfectly.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Cueball, Beret Guy and Ponytail are sitting at a table. Beret Guy and Ponytail sit patiently; Cueball is stomping on his chair, and the ground has been dented very slightly by the legs of his chair. A white column of salt has burst through the ground and is rising up, slightly cracking and bending the table in the process. There are plates of food, drinking glasses, and a salt shaker on the table. One of the glasses has fallen, releasing what seems to be wine.]
:''STOMP STOMP''
:Cueball: Just a little more overburden pressure...
:Cueball: The dome is almost through the table...
:[Caption below the panel:]
:Never ask a geologist to pass the salt.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Geology]]
[[Category:Food]]

2752: Salt Dome

2023-03-21T01:01:34Z

172.70.214.205: /* Transcript */ cats

2719: Hydrogen Isotopes

2023-01-03T03:15:37Z

172.70.214.205: /* Explanation */ not all are actually isotopes

{{comic
| number = 2719
| date = January 2, 2023
| title = Hydrogen Isotopes
| image = hydrogen_isotopes_2x.png
| imagesize = 442x250px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Oops, All Neutrons is also known as Neutral Quadrium, Nydnonen, and Goth Tritium.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BREAK ROOM DE BROGLIE MICROWAVE USER. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{W|Hydrogen}} is the simplest of the chemical atoms, usually consisting of a single electron orbiting a single proton. This comic imagines other humorous fictional forms of hydrogen as follows:

{| class="wikitable"
! "Isotope"
! Description
|-
|Hydrogen
|Hydrogen is the most common {{w|isotope}} of hydrogen, with one proton and one electron, shown with the electron orbiting the proton.
|-
|Deuterium
|Deuterium is the second most common isotope of hydrogen, with one electron, and both a neutron and proton in its nucleus. About one of every 6,760 hydrogen atoms in water is deuterium.
|-
|Tritium
|Tritium is the third most common isotope of hydrogen, with one electron, and a nucleus of one proton and two neutrons, for an atomic mass of three {{w|Dalton}}s. It is radioactive with a half-life of about twelve years, and is quite rare.
|-
|Ium
|This imaginary isotope consists of one electron orbiting around nothing. The name relates to the fact that the two heavier isotopes are named from a prefix designating the number of {{w|nucleons}} followed by "-ium".
|-
|Wheelium
|This fictional isotope consists of a proton, electron, and neutron orbiting around nothing, shaped similarly to a wheel.
|-
|Instant Hydrogen (ready in 15 minutes)
|Instant Hydrogen (ready in 15 minutes) is just a single neutron. Unbound neutrons will take about fifteen minutes to decay into a proton, an electron, and a neutrino, which ''can'' then form into a hydrogen atom, [https://van.physics.illinois.edu/ask/listing/1207 but does only four times in a million.]
|-
|Hydrogen (Maximum Strength)
|This fictional isotope consists of a proton, an electron, and at least 13 neutrons. This isotope would decay immediately.
|-
|Oops, all neutrons
|This fictional form consists of four neutrons, a {{w|tetraneutron}}, with one orbiting around a group of three. The name is likely a reference to an American breakfast cereal called {{w|Cap'n Crunch#Variations|Oops! All Berries}}. The title text states other names of this form are Neutral Quadrium, Nydnonen, and Goth Tritium.
|}

{{notice2|The Mountain View, California Public Library is hosting an online chat with [[Randall Munroe]] Tuesday, January 31 at 11am Pacific. [https://libraryc.org/mountainviewlibrary/22032 Register here to send your question(s) to the moderators.]|image=Crystal Project Agt announcements.png}} 

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

There are 8 drawings of atoms, arranges 4 across and 2 down, in the Planetary model. Each has a label underneath. Here, they are listed left-to-right top-to-bottom.

1 electron, 1 proton: Hydrogen

1 electron, 1 proton, 1 neutron: Duterium

1 electron, 1 proton, 1 neutron: Tritium

1 electron only: ium

1 electron, 1 proton, 1 neutron, all orbiting together round nothing: Wheelium

1 proton only: Instant Hydrogen (ready in 15 minutes)

1 proton, 1 electron, lots of neutrons: Hydrogen (Maximum Strength)

1 neutron orbiting 3 other neutrons: Oops, all neutrons
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Chemistry]]

Talk:2712: Gravity

2022-12-19T08:58:53Z

172.70.214.205: Reply

Whatever image is supposed to be in the center isn't showing up for me! D: Tried on both Safari and Chrome but it gives me the little broken picture icon. Hopefully it's fixed soon! (The comic's been up for about 10 minutes going by when the bot updated this page.) [[Special:Contributions/172.70.126.117|172.70.126.117]] 22:28, 16 December 2022 (UTC)

: The center image is trying to load this link, but there's nothing there: https://xkcd.com/tile/ship1/ship_gliding_2x.png. I hope that gets fixed soon. The "ship" seems to rotate a bit unpredictably over time. At first I thought it was responding to my mouse movements, but I don't think so anymore. [[User:Orion205|Orion205]] ([[User talk:Orion205|talk]]) 22:34, 16 December 2022 (UTC)
:: Still broken on the mobile site (Chrome, Android). I just see a rotating missing image box. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.134.133|172.71.134.133]] 11:39, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

: Ah, the center image is controlled by the javascript, of course: https://xkcd.com/2712/comic.js. So this is some sort of interactive comic? [[User:Orion205|Orion205]] ([[User talk:Orion205|talk]]) 22:36, 16 December 2022 (UTC)

: Okay, left/right arrow keys seem to control the rotation. I'll check back in later in hopes of seeing the ship so I have some idea what the point of it all is. [[User:Orion205|Orion205]] ([[User talk:Orion205|talk]]) 22:39, 16 December 2022 (UTC)

: And now it's working. You fly a little spaceship around the little planet. Luckily you have shields if you slam into the ground too hard. [[User:Orion205|Orion205]] ([[User talk:Orion205|talk]]) 22:43, 16 December 2022 (UTC)

: Catch the cannonball for a spaceship upgrade. Also, not so easy to find a stable orbit around this little planet. [[User:Orion205|Orion205]] ([[User talk:Orion205|talk]]) 22:49, 16 December 2022 (UTC)

Found another planet (has a reference to the "Tires" chapter in How To) with a cannonball, which turned me into an astronaut.

You can transform the ship into a different (seems faster to me) one by running into the last cannon ball.
[[Special:Contributions/108.162.241.249|108.162.241.249]]

Rough summary: The comic is an interactive space flight game, starting landed on an origin planet. The planet is static, and the player starts in a ship controlled by WASD or Directional keys. The ship can go up and down, and rotate left and right. Game simulates orbits and gravity, making navigation tricky. Around the player ship there are dots which indicate nearby planets - there are numurous planets, each with what seem to be drawings related to the What If book. Within the browser, planets are loaded in PNG format by chunk, names formatted as "planet_0_0" with numbers incrementing as grid co-ordinates. Planets and objects found: "origin" "europa", "road", "b612". NOTE: Several hazards exist, such as a field of black holes - if flown into, the ship can become stuck if let to be pulled close to the surface, locking in place. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.110.230|172.70.110.230]] 23:13, 16 December 2022 (UTC)

: Within browser dev console exists the objects "Ship" and "Comic", the latter containing a list of all objects and coordinates, as well as various setting for the game physics and settings. Comic contains the sub-object "Voyager", which contains the details and settings for the player ship, including location, speed, etc. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.110.230|172.70.110.230]] 23:13, 16 December 2022 (UTC)

:: There are 5 ship types in the game code, each with their own consumable transformative found in the world. The ship alternatives are (ship1, ship2, ship-tintin, ship-figure, ship-soccerball). These can be changed with console command [Comic.ship = "ship1"]. Note: At current, "ship-soccerball" returns an error and does not load correctly. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.110.230|172.70.110.230]] 23:13, 16 December 2022 (UTC)

:: The "ship.shields" is a boolean value that defaults to true, and when set to false, makes the game behave in a lunar lander mode (bad landing black screens the whole page). The "ship.engine" types I see in the code are "warp" (very fast speeds) and "infinite improbability drive" (teleports to 'improbable' places). Default engine is "standard", but it seems any value that is not the former two has the same effect. --[[Special:Contributions/172.70.254.165|172.70.254.165]] 23:32, 16 December 2022 (UTC)

: In addition to Europa, the space road, and B-612, there is the "Edge of the Universe" (complete with Milliways restaurant nearby), a... tree (which is extremely hard to land on), a planet populated by the characters from Dinosaur Comics (and the main cast of Jurassic Park), the USS Enterprice (NCC 1701-C), and likely quite a bit more. Orbital mechanics make it tough to land on the smaller targets. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.254.46|172.71.254.46]] 23:07, 16 December 2022 (UTC)

:: Plus what appears to be Earth, complete with the LHC. There's a 2nd "cannonball" there for an additional ship upgrade, but at the time I found it, that graphic was unavailable. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.126.232|172.70.126.232]] 23:15, 16 December 2022 (UTC)
:: "Edge of the Universe" is part of "Outside". There is a hidden tunnel from the main universe to the bubble universe at coordinates (7597,24327) point nose of ship at words "EDGE OF THE" and fire thrusters. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.79.160|162.158.79.160]] 03:59, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

: I went out a long ways away, and eventually found The Great Attractor. It attracts really hard. I couldn't leave the surface. (I wasn't able to leave the center of Europa either, though, so, not saying much.) There are also some terrifying black holes (a binary system?), though something's weird about their gravity; you kinda bounce off of them a quarter screen away or so? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.77|108.162.216.77]] 23:10, 16 December 2022 (UTC)
:: I *think* thats a wormhole, you go in one and then out the other. I got stuck right between them. Speaking of getting stuck, there is a bug where if you hit a planet with enough gravity fast enough, the ship is inside the planet. Holding W makes you go backwards (or at least towards the center maybe?) and you can get all the way to the other end of the planet where you slow down a lot, but can eventually leave. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.82.166|172.70.82.166]] 23:19, 16 December 2022 (UTC)Bumpf

::There's one planet that's supposed to be the "remnant of the sun", is that what you mean with The Great Attractor? (It has a bridge on it with a coin(?) blocking part of the way, and a space ship actively crashing into its surface, drawn as several frames.) You can leave that by skidding over the surface like a skipping stone to gather momentum - it's tricky, due to various obstacles, but possible! (It's possible you need two ship power-ups?! If they're indeed power-ups and not just aesthetic changes, I didn't pay attention.)

:::No, it's labeled "The Great Attractor". It's big and white and has strong gravity. Lemme see if I have a screenshot. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.25|108.162.216.25]] 00:20, 17 December 2022 (UTC)
:::Here: https://github.com/Erhannis/random_garbage/blob/main/Screenshot%20from%202022-12-16%2017-47-48.png [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.25|108.162.216.25]] 00:24, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

::Screenshot of [https://imgur.com/a/NZulBlb the Enterprise] and [https://imgur.com/2VSZYp7 Dinosaur Comics planet]. Sorry for the broken image in the middle, I picked up two powerups and [https://xkcd.com/2712/tile/ship-soccerball/ship_landing_down_2x.png my current ship image is broken]. -(pinkgothic) [[Special:Contributions/172.68.110.143|172.68.110.143]] 23:22, 16 December 2022 (UTC)
:::[https://i.imgur.com/fLU1cWy.png Dog Park planet] [[Special:Contributions/172.71.254.114|172.71.254.114]] 23:28, 16 December 2022 (UTC)

Using a tablet (no keyboard, but seems to respond to touch), controls are confusing. Presuming that touching bottom left activates left-rotate and touching bottom right does right-rotate (can't see the presumably white-lije controls over the white planet) but I can't get ''thrust'' anything but 'reverse' into the planet centre. No obvious top-edge hotspots, either. Maybe I need to do a "You will not go to space today" and then reverse ''upward''... BRB, after a bit more testing, though... [[Special:Contributions/172.69.79.185|172.69.79.185]] 23:39, 16 December 2022 (UTC)
:Ok, the next go went 'better'. The browser keeps wanting to load "simplified content", but if I ignore that I can get full-screen, at one point I changed rocket-type (no idea how, can't do it again) and I ''easily'' get off the planet (hard to thrust just enough to get to the Hooke comment/cannon), with plenty of targets coming in range (but cannot slow down enough to not have it glitch and rebuild a totally new set of targets that I never can reach). Will try desktop version when I'm next on a suitable one... Looks to be a lot of interesting content. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.30|162.158.74.30]] 23:53, 16 December 2022 (UTC)

Using the developer console, the ship can be teleported to different coordinates via console command [Comic.voyager.pos.x = 0, Comic.voyager.pos.y = -1461], provided here with start location coordinates. This can be used for manual navigation to known coordinates. List of locations per game code added below, append landing X,Y to each as determined. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.110.230|172.70.110.230]] 23:42, 16 December 2022 (UTC)

b612: [5280,-7601] dogplanet: [2598,-23168] earth: [33803,-32974] enterprise: [1898,-61215] europa: [24930,8022] goodhart: [-23372,5928] greatattractor: [-594782,248510] japanmoon: [x,y] maw1: [x,y] maw2: [x,y] maw3: [x,y] maw4: [x,y] maw5: [x,y] maw6: [x,y] maw7: [x,y] maw8: [x,y] maw9: [x,y] maw10: [x,y] maw11: [x,y] maw13: [x,y] maw14: [x,y] nojapan: [x,y] origin: [0, -1461] peeler: [x,y] pigeons: [x,y] present: [x,y] remnant: [x,y] roads: [x,y] soupiter: [x,y] steerswoman: [x,y] sun: [x,y]

Note: For ease of teleportation, reference the ''Comic.planetRects'' array and use the first two numbers as X,Y. This will get the ship close enough to the object to then land and determine a landed location, via ''Comic.voyager.pos''

In your developer console, enter <code>window.ship.engines = 'infinite improbability drive'</code> and pressing up will randomly teleport you to interesting places.
<code>window.ship.engines = 'warp'</code> will let you escape normally inescapable objects.

Unfortunately, the infinite improbability drive will sometimes result in an object's image and geometry failing to load. The same bug can occur with a manual teleportation too close to an object. For convenience, here are a list of coordinates which put you relatively close to various locations, but far enough away to trigger the object's loading:
'''Major Locations:''' origin: (0, -1500); dogplanet: (2480, -23484); earth: (28720, -36912); europa: (26360, 984); goodhart: (-26600, 2424); greatattractor: (-594000, 247952); qwantz: (22120, -51788); remnant: (39240, -9648); soupiter: (-16000, 16032); steerswoman: (-70140, 2952); sun: (-29900, -32352); Bubble Universe: (5000,21000);
'''Smaller Locations:''' b612: (5220, -8424); japanmoon: (-11860, 10576); nojapan: (-15360, 10676); enterprise: (2020, -61904); outside: (250,28500); peeler: (-18540, -2264); pigeons: (-18040, 3956); present: (45640, 36816); roads: (26480, 23500); light mode toggle: (1500,-200000)
'''Black Holes:''' maw1: (-63152, 17130); maw2: (-60422, 16638); maw3: (-55950, 15508); maw4: (-59092, 14918); maw5: (-59582, 14238); maw6: (-58656, 14126); maw7: (-59400, 13828); maw8: (-58330, 13296); maw9: (-61544, 12796); maw10: (-59032, 11618); maw11: (-58762, 11472); maw12: (-53664, 10832); maw13: (-63486, 8424); maw14: (-52142, 20624);

Also, I found the following javascript function helpful for teleporting around. <code>function tp(x,y){ Comic.voyager.pos.x = x; Comic.voyager.pos.y = y; Comic.voyager.pos.vx = 0; Comic.voyager.pos.vy = 0;}</code> --[[Special:Contributions/172.70.126.233|172.70.126.233]] 03:06, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

If anyone wants to download the planet images, they're at https://xkcd.com/2712/tile/<name>_i_j.png, for i,j = 0, 1, ..., going as high as needed for the planet size. For example, https://xkcd.com/2712/tile/origin_3_3.png gives the bottom-right part of the start planet.

; Proposal
It seems the most explanatory thing we can do is replace the blank starfield with the starting image screenshot, and label its four corners with their x and y coordiates, and then make a table of all the objects with their coordinates, a screenshot, and a description of their behaviors. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.206.204|172.70.206.204]] 23:55, 16 December 2022 (UTC)
: A map with insets would be better than coordinates since the frame rotates. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.158.231|172.71.158.231]] 00:17, 17 December 2022 (UTC)
:: Here are some overview images: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1UPJ1_4xNQbsHVP5FplrTaVJa3e6WddjG The Great Attractor is much farther out than most of the planets. So I've also included a more zoomed-in image that doesn't include it. --[[Special:Contributions/172.70.127.38|172.70.127.38]] 07:35, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

Got images for all the locations: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1CVADHsRgBtDPYca-gdfVwNW_nEsrJ-zj?usp=share_link [[User:Clam|Clam]] ([[User talk:Clam|talk]]) 00:03, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

Looks like I was beat to the punch, but here's another way to access the raw images (on a dark background): https://aeromancer.dev/xkcd_2712/ [[Special:Contributions/172.70.211.90|172.70.211.90]] 01:15, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

I’ve been able to glitch into the center of planets, but the ones with lower gravity I can get out of. I did this unintentionally by going headfirst into one really fast.

[https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/11pP8VbYkJDDWUOIFhUHO_DZmEbd9_E56 Here's] a version of the images on the starfields! Figured it would be the closest thing. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.111.29|172.70.111.29]] 02:23, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

; Table system
I've added the graph from good'ol hoverboard. Here's the format to add stuff.
|-

|Title, perhaps in triple apostrophes if they're a major feature, not on top of another planet.

|Transcription for people talking in that area. Don't do this for planets.

|Coordinates. 172.70.126.233 has a comment on a ton of coordinates and locations which need to be added. I don't know how he does that science stuff, but use it!

|Is it a reference to What If 2? Put a Y here if so.

|Is it a reference to XKCD? Put a Y here if so.

|Is it a reference to a movie? Put a Y here if so.

|Is it a reference to something else? Put a Y here is so. Leave these empty if not.

|Put the explanation here.

Please help out on adding stuff! There's a lot! Remove the newlines from in between the lines. I had to add those for them to format right.
[[User:Eelitee|Eelitee]] ([[User talk:Eelitee|talk]]) 04:33, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

OHNO
172.70.126.233 coordinates for teleportation specifically. I didn't read it right and put them in... I'm going through the data dump to try and extract them. Sorry!!
[[User:Eelitee|Eelitee]] ([[User talk:Eelitee|talk]]) 04:37, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

Alright, fixed. A few things I'm thinking about to do next, but I don't have time for:
1. Add gravitation attractions in a new column. They're all in the json dump, I suggest using a json viewer for more convenience. Or doing some coding?
2. Add item locations. This one is important, as items are a major feature.
3. Organize the items, either by alphabetical, or by distance from Earth. This might be hard...
4. Get details in! We need more information. This is the most important by far, get to work! haha.

GL, HF!

[[User:Eelitee|Eelitee]] ([[User talk:Eelitee|talk]]) 04:48, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

I'm was adding the "Y" tags for the different bodies, do we want to add a "Y" if there is any of that reference on the planet (for the planet row in the chart) or only add the Y on the specific comic fragments or POIs on the planet? On the one hand it seems like it would be helpful to see what kind of references are on a planet overall, but I also feel that it could quickly turn into every planet having every single box checked. Also, I feel we need a 2nd box for what if 1 vs what if 2, as well as TE and HT. I haven't explored the map very much yet, but if there are a lot of ST/SW/LR references they may need to be separated from movies, similar to the abbreviation system on hoverboard. I don't edit a lot and I have only edited "new" pages once or twice so if anyone has any advice or issues with what I have added feel free to add your opinions here. Thanks!

;Unlisted Planet
Hi all, first time poster so sorry if I'm formatting this wrong. I found a planet at (46070, 37936) which doesn't seem to be listed yet, and I didn't see it in the comics.js output or the google drive link from [[User:Clam|Clam]]. It's very small and has characters talking about the new book https://drive.google.com/file/d/19lfN8N06s18mKUhFkPcFddKYEXApAED4/view?usp=share_link Have we already accounted for this, and if not does anyone know where we might find a listing including this planet and possibly others like it? [[User:Jgendelgreen|Jgendelgreen]] ([[User talk:Jgendelgreen|talk]]) 06:07, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

No, you're doing alright. If you find something new, just add it to the list. Other people will correct it if it's wrong!
You can find a listing using the json dump that was posted underneath the list. I may have deleted the listing for that one accidentally... oops...
[[User:Eelitee|Eelitee]] ([[User talk:Eelitee|talk]]) 06:17, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

Oh cool thanks! I think the one I found is "present"[[User:Jgendelgreen|Jgendelgreen]] ([[User talk:Jgendelgreen|talk]]) 06:23, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

I wish to note that I'm using Safari on an iPad, which usually can't touch the interactive comics (I know hoverboard was a whole lot of nothing), for this one I can turn the rockets on and off, that's it. Seems like my path is predetermined, on autopilot (turns here then there, first time in an S, with nothing in sight to be modifying my flight). The first time I was going pretty fast, rockets off, then I turned them back on right before I blasted past SOME planet, flitted by in a blink, so I'm hoping to find it again, but I have no control except Thrust or No Thrust. [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 07:12, 17 December 2022 (UTC)
:Check that, NOW if I tap the left side I get the right thruster and vice versa! Hey, I have control! [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 07:24, 17 December 2022 (UTC)
::Found Jurassic Park planet and Dog Park planet, then found the sun, saw SOMEBODY saying something but I skidded to a stop too far away, and no, escape is NOT possible. I'm in the default rocket and turning on the thrusters just gives a little hop, not enough to then tun on ONE thruster to actually change position. I am unquestionably STUCK, LOL! [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 07:42, 17 December 2022 (UTC)
:Does anyone know what [https://imgur.com/a/j7BAMrF this little island] is called? It's near the roads. It's been described as ''"A tree larger than the planet it's growing on"'' on the main page's table. -(pinkgothic) [[Special:Contributions/198.41.242.241|198.41.242.241]] 00:59, 18 December 2022 (UTC)
:: It's the "roads" tree planet, because the roads through portals need a center to show up as a point on the ship's mini-map system. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.214.205|172.70.214.205]] 08:58, 19 December 2022 (UTC)

;Cosmic topology?
Does space wrap around horizontally and vertically in a torus like the Atari ''Asteroids'' video game, or does it go on forever in all directions? If the former, how many times the area of the initial comic is it? [[Special:Contributions/172.71.154.159|172.71.154.159]] 07:33, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

;Game breaker
I found out that if run `ship.shields = false` and touch anything, the screen goes black forever.[[Special:Contributions/172.70.179.4|172.70.179.4]] 14:49, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

;Light mode

I don't see any mention yet of the "Light mode" button at X=1500, Y=-200000; it's clickable and inverts black and white for the comic. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.30.83|172.71.30.83]] 07:50, 18 December 2022 (UTC)
:I actually came across it a few days ago. I'm pretty sure I found it by holding down the thrusters from the starting position, but now that just sends me crashing into the USS Enterprise (and not even at the same angle every time, maybe due to lag) so either the position of something got changed or I'm remembering what I did wrong. [[User:SitkaFox|SitkaFox]] ([[User talk:SitkaFox|talk]]) 03:56, 19 December 2022 (UTC)

;More console shenanigans

Executing <code>window.python('import antigravity');</code> (referencing xkcd #353) in the console does what it says: gravity is reversed. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.30.83|172.71.30.83]] 07:50, 18 December 2022 (UTC)

;observations
this three-quarters planet seems to be impossible to get out of without the "warp" engines if you get in the center: https://i.imgur.com/tMchAa1.png

: Planet is not supposed to be three quarters, I'm guessing one of the tiles did not load for some reason. See [https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wZSvRgB2dw03Md30PfDdSU03quygRVEw/view here]. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.35.69|172.70.35.69]] 18:08, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

i also got stuck in one planet by descending toward it very quickly https://i.imgur.com/9ilmtdK.png - in this state, descending and turning do nothing, but accelerating (pressing up) makes me slowly move downward and lets me turn very slowly

--[[Special:Contributions/172.70.114.7|172.70.114.7]] 15:01, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

also, i went toward this planet (downward) at high speed and became knit cap somehow https://i.imgur.com/JlRFuy4.png --[[Special:Contributions/172.70.230.160|172.70.230.160]] 15:16, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

Instead of there being a wide "references" column with 4 sub-columns, I think it should be just a "references" column with what the reference is as the text, instead of it being a boolean. This also allows for more detail such as "What If 2, chapter 94: What if I made up a chapter name" or something like that [[Special:Contributions/172.71.22.22|172.71.22.22]] 15:46, 17 December 2022 (UTC)Bumpf

There is a planet at {x: 34704, y: -25501} with a space elevator attached to it. In that same planet, at {x: 31682, y: -34551}, there's a guy complaining about the framerate being "really bad out today"; the screen will stutter if you fly by him.

I think that the planet labeled "Earth" in the table is actually Mars. Apparently it has two asteroids orbiting it. [[User:N-eh|N-eh]] ([[User talk:N-eh|talk]]) 19:45, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

I managed to stitch the tiles for each location and therefore created a complete image of each of the 34 locations. Where can I upload this to? I uploaded the code here: https://github.com/roee30/xkcd-scripts
: Is it possible to make a google maps type zoomable version of your images like [http://xkcd-map.rent-a-geek.de/] is for [[1110: Click and Drag]]? [[Special:Contributions/172.71.166.123|172.71.166.123]] 22:54, 18 December 2022 (UTC)Bumpf

== What if 2 planet ==

It's got a dinosaur being offered a hamburger, a person firing a cannon (one cannonball nearly goes into orbit) and if you can get yourself struck by one of the cannonballs the ship transforms.

I'm not sure if the transformed ship is BETTER, but it is different.

--[[Special:Contributions/172.70.131.52|172.70.131.52]] 17:19, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

== Underneath Europa's Crust ==

I managed to clip through the icy crust of Europa to the sea underneath (by flying at the planet really fast)... and there's stuff *down* here. Neat!

I'll update the table accordingly. [[User:TwilightWorlds|TwilightWorlds]] ([[User talk:TwilightWorlds|talk]]) 19:51, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

; I noticed some text that isn't written down on the transcript anywhere. Apologies if I'm doing something wrong, I've never contributed before. Here is the link to a screenshot of what I found. Not sure where it is, but hopefully it looks familiar. https://drive.google.com/file/d/11z1_mChMlWr2ZgJCksXEWiY17vosoMlI/view?usp=sharing

Maybe I'm crazy, but is it possible that the positions of some objects have been changed since the comic was posted? The other day, if I flew straight up from the starting point never disabling the engine, I'd get flung around by some gravity wells before being flung out in a direction that would, eventually, lead me right past the 'light mode' button. Today, however, I always end up crashing into the USS Enterprise, and to add to the weirdness, I don't even hit it at the same angle every time. Also, I hope I'm signing this right, it's my first post. [[User:SitkaFox|SitkaFox]] ([[User talk:SitkaFox|talk]]) 23:45, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

I noticed that the coordinates in the game code are not the same as the coordinates given by <code>[Comic.voyager.pos.x, Comic.voyager.pos.y]</code>. To convert between the two, multiply the x-coordinate by 2 and the y-coordinate by -2. [[User:Hdjensofjfnen|Hdjensofjfnen]] ([[User talk:Hdjensofjfnen|talk]]) 00:01, 18 December 2022 (UTC)
: of which one? voyager x pos = 2 * in game x pos? or in game x pos = 2 * voyager x pos?

== Stitched together image? ==

Would it be difficult to scrape the coords of everything and stitch it together into one large image/something with zoom-in and out a la those made for [[1110: Click and Drag]]?[[Special:Contributions/172.71.166.122|172.71.166.122]] 00:25, 18 December 2022 (UTC)Bumpf
: or maybe at least some zoom-out thing i can put into the console? [[Special:Contributions/172.71.30.64|172.71.30.64]] 00:35, 18 December 2022 (UTC)Bumpf
The pictures are tiles 1024*1024 px, file name as https://xkcd.com/2712/tile/origin_3_3.png, the last two digits varying from 0 to planet size. Done it for Origin but it seems I can't upload a file (?) [[User:Biem|Biem]] ([[User talk:Biem|talk]]) 08:09, 18 December 2022 (UTC)

Already working on this [[User:Majko|Majko]] ([[User talk:Majko|talk]]) 17:14, 18 December 2022 (UTC)

Done: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/12ZxoMn4Val_9ccJKKE7OMYkfSq54ectq?usp=sharing (turned out it would be a HUGE image so the planets are separate files). I leave adding it to the page to whoever has the permission to upload files here. [[User:Majko|Majko]] ([[User talk:Majko|talk]]) 19:24, 18 December 2022 (UTC)

Basic Zoomable Version here: https://old.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/zo07ji/xkcd_2712_static_and_zoomable/ --[[Special:Contributions/172.71.254.46|172.71.254.46]] 04:33, 19 December 2022 (UTC)

== Different coordinate systems ==

Coordinates in the game you use to teleport are 2 per pixel ([1000, 0] is 500 pixels from the origin). Coordinates in the json file are 1 per pixel. Should the coordinates in the page be adjusted to be in the "teleport coordinates"? [[User:Majko|Majko]] ([[User talk:Majko|talk]]) 17:14, 18 December 2022 (UTC)

2703: Paper Title

2022-11-26T04:34:06Z

172.70.214.205: /* Transcript */ reformat

{{comic
| number = 2703
| date = November 25, 2022
| title = Paper Title
| image = paper_title_2x.png
| imagesize = 557x261px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = CONFLICT OF INTEREST STATEMENT: The authors hope these results are correct because we all want to be cool people who are good at science.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a MICROBE TRYING TO LURE YOU WITH CLICKBAIT. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Many if not most scientific research papers present a {{w|hypothesis}} and the result of testing the hypothesis. Scientific papers should also have titles which describe the content of the papers. See [[2456: Types of Scientific Paper]].

[[Cueball]] is writing a research paper with a {{w|clickbait}}, {{w|puffery}}, and insufficiently descriptive title, "Check out this cool microbe we found." His colleague [[Megan]] asks him whether science is supposed to be about formulating a hypothesis and testing it. Cueball agrees, changing the title to, "Is our lab really good at finding cool microbes? Some preliminary data." However, that is still an overly promotional and insufficiently descriptive clickbait title, purporting to be a study of the authors' own competence, which would be highly unusual because of the lack of objectivity due to the authors being the subject of investigation. [[:Category:Clickbait|Clickbait]] is a recurring theme on xkcd, recently considered within science publications in [[2001: Clickbait-Corrected p-Value]]. The title of a research article describing a novel organism will often contain the author(s) {{w|Linnaean taxonomy|Linnaean}} name for it, which is granted as their prerogative within certain limitations.[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK8808/]

{{w|Empirical research|''Empirical investigations''}} and ''{{w|analysis}} papers'' almost always state and test a hypothesis, but there are many kinds of scientific papers which usually do not, including ''{{w|literature review}}s,'' which qualitatively summarize the results of other papers; ''{{w|meta-analysis|meta-analyses}},'' which quantitatively summarize the results and quality of other work; ''observational reports'' (or ''{{w|case study|case studies}}'' — not to be confused with {{w|observational study|observational studies}}, a kind of empirical analysis), which present data and a chronicle of its collection often without analysis, testing, or interpretation; ''{{w|Conference proceeding|conference papers}},'' which present preliminary work without peer review; ''definition papers,'' which attempt to formalize terms used in divergent ways in prior work; ''{{w|Dialectic#Hegelian dialectic|syntheses}},'' which present alternative views combining multiple and often conflicting concepts; ''{{w|Comparison|comparative studies}},'' which compare and contrast a class of concepts; ''{{w|Interpretive discussion|interpretive}} papers,'' showing a different perspective on previous work; ''{{w|technical report}}s,'' which may present information on a specific procedural topic or progress and results, if any, in a field; ''opinion'' and ''editorial essays,'' which are intended to argue a point of view persuasively; ''book reviews,'' which summarize monographs or biographies; and ''grant proposals,'' which make the case for funding a project. Mathematical or logic research papers which don't involve empirical observations or uncertainty would be considered technical reports in other fields. Engineering work can be reported as an empirical investigation or a technical report. Research articles which do present and test a hypothesis are usually written in [https://www.hamilton.edu/academics/centers/writing/writing-resources/how-to-write-an-apa-research-paper American Psychological Association (APA) style].

Cueball seems to want to author an observational report, but Megan would prefer an empirical investigation or analysis, perhaps because they may be more likely to be accepted by peer reviewed journals, and as such are more prestigious than mere conference papers, "letters," or "communications" as observational reports are often published. However, research articles describing the discovery of new {{w|microbe}}s in prestigious peer-reviewed journals are often published as observational reports,[https://www.microbiologyresearch.org/content/journal/ijsem/10.1099/ijsem.0.004029][http://calamar.univ-ag.fr/mangroveSAE/articles/2022/Volland%20et%20al%202022.pdf][https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10482-021-01656-x] so Megan's concerns may be unfounded; even if so, the editors of any reputable journal would almost certainly require a far more descriptive and less overtly promotional title from Cueball. The question remains whether an intial submission with a catchy clickbait title might get more prompt attention from editors and reviewers.

In the title text, the {{w|conflict of interest}} statement says that the authors hope their results are correct because, "we all want to be cool people who are good at science." A scientific publication's potential conflict of interest usually refers to the authors' financial, familial, or other external interests in the research outcomes. The disclosure statement does not describe a conflict between the authors' {{w|extrinsic motivation}}s and factors influencing the accuracy and neutrality of their work; in fact it claims the opposite, an alignment between their {{w|intrinsic motivation}}s and the goal of producing high quality work, which should go without saying.{{cn}}

==Transcript==
:[Megan is standing behind and looking over the shoulder of Cueball who is sitting in his office chair at his desk typing on the keyboard. A line from the keyboard goes up to two boxes above them. A smaller one at the top, half the length and a third the height of the larger box below. There are text in both boxes. The bottom box is not filled out with text. At the end of the text in the bottom box the line indicating where the courser are can be seen, as in this is what Megan can see on the screen:]
:Paper title: ''Check out this cool microbe we found''

:[Pan to only showing Megan who has taken a hand up to her chin. Cueball replies from off-panel.]
:Megan: Isn’t science supposed to be about formulating a hypothesis and then testing it?
:Cueball - off panel: Oh. Yeah, I guess.

:[Same setting as in the first panel, but now the bottom box is filled out with text, but still with the courser shown at the end:]
:Paper title: ''Is our lab really good at finding cool microbes? Some preliminary data''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Scientific research]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Clickbait]]

2702: What If 2 Gift Guide

2022-11-24T20:26:03Z

172.70.214.205: /* Explanation */ mea culpa! In that case, this doesn't matter

{{comic
| number = 2702
| date = November 23, 2022
| title = What If 2 Gift Guide
| image = what_if_2_gift_guide_2x.png
| imagesize = 500x878px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = BABIES OR LITERATURE BUT NOT BOTH: Baby shoes
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an OUT-OF-CONTROL HANDHELD NEUTRINO CYLINDER FOR TEENS. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The comic is a gift guide matching the interest of the receiver with a gift.

{| class="wikitable"
|+
|-
! Interest !! Gift Idea !! Explanation
|-
| Engineering || The {{w|International Prototype of the Kilogram|platinum cylinder}} formerly used to identify the kilogram || This is an object of historical relevance of which only six exist, making it a very expensive or illegal gift. With the {{w|2019 redefinition of the SI base units|redefinition of the SI base units}} in 2019, {{w|2019_redefinition_of_the_SI_base_units#Kilogram|the kilogram}} is now defined using only natural constants rather than a physical standard. It took some time before this last SI unit was redefined, but that is now 3 years past at the time of this comic's release, so it is not news. The old prototypes are no longer as valuable as they were when they were actually used to define the kilogram. But they are still historical artifacts with enormous value, even apart from the kilogram of platinum.
|-
| Biology || The genomes of the scientists who headed the human genome project || The "International Human Genome Sequencing Consortium," as the {{w|Human Genome Project}} team was known, involved scientists from twenty institutions in six countries. In the US, it was initially led by DNA structure co-discoverer {{w|James Watson}} who was succeeded by {{w|Francis Collins}}. In the UK, the project was led by {{w|John Sulston}}. The teams from other countries' institutions were less prominent and performed substantially less work on the initial sequencing. James Watson's genome was sequenced in 2007.
|-
| Physics || A beam of neutrinos delivered through the earth by the LHC || [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neutrino Neutrinos] interact very weakly with other particles, to the point that they almost always pass straight through matter completely unaffected. This means that particle accelerators can send neutrinos to any other point on Earth by aiming the particle beam into the ground, and the neutrinos pass straight through the Earth. This point is referenced in [https://what-if.xkcd.com/73/ What If? 73]. The low interactivity of neutrinos would also mean that the recipient would be unable to perceive their gift, making this a poor present for anyone except the small proportion of physics aficionados who already have a neutrino detector on-hand.
|-
| Animals || Surprise wildlife encounter (gift-wrapped box with a bobcat inside) || This is a reference to [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Bobcats xkcd's rich history of mailing boxed bobcats to people]. This gift would place the recipient in a perilous situation, and, although definitely a wildlife encounter, is not a good gift{{Citation needed}}.
|-
| Law || A vacation to that area of Idaho where you can commit crimes with impunity due to a court district boundary error || This refers to the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zone_of_Death_(Yellowstone) "Zone of Death"], a 50-square-mile area of Yellowstone National Park that is in the physical boundaries of Idaho, but in the legal jurisdiction of Wyoming. Because a jury in the United States must be composed of residents of the same district ''and'' state in which the crime was committed, but no one lives in this small area of a National Park, anyone who committed a crime here could not possibly receive a trial, and thus could not legally be punished for said crime in any circumstance. This is an interesting legal loophole, but going to this area does not provide any more value than hearing about it, and could scare your law-enthusiast friend.
|-
| Chemistry || A necklace of element samples whose symbols spell out the recipient's name (note: names like "Katherine" and "Brandon" may cause radiation accidents.) || Novelty necklaces are a common and innocuous gift, and using element symbols in place of the same letter is a common gimmick, such as in the title of Breaking Bad. However, making an object out of whatever element sample corresponds to someone's name could have unpredictable results - some elements in their pure form are too brittle or have too low a melting point for such an application, and some are unsafe. "Katherine" would be made from Potassium (highly reactive), Astatine (rare, '''radioactive''' and has a short half-life), Hydrogen (gaseous at room temperature, flammable), Erbium, Iodine (sublimes into a gas at room temperature), and Neon (gaseous at room temperature). "Brandon" would be made from Boron, Radium ('''radioactive'''), Neodymium, Oxygen (gaseous at room temperature), and Nitrogen (gaseous at room temperature). The problems with element samples could be partially alleviated by allowing compounds rather than pure elements, but the radioactivity would still be a problem, and neon does not form compounds and as such is always gaseous. Additionally, the letter Q does not appear in the periodic table symbols, so a name like Quinn would be problematic.
|-
| Puzzles || Two goats and a new car || This is a reference to the the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monty_Hall_problem "Monty Hall problem"], in which a game show contestant can win only one of the three items. (See [[1282: Monty Hall]] for another cartoon inspired by this problem.) This gift places the recipient within a puzzle which is typically discussed hypothetically, rather than happening in real life. Although a new car is a ''great'' gift, goats are only useful to people with specific professions.
The problem that the recipient would have would likely be how to transport the two goats - it'd be difficult to fit both into a compact car at once, but one can't be left behind unattended.
|-
| Technology || Cybiko® wireless handheld computer for teens (2000) || This device was referenced in [https://xkcd.com/2699/ one of last week's comics], so Randall seems to have a temporary fixation on it. While an interesting example of the history of communication technology and coming from a time when experimentation was common and standards were few, it isn't very useful now, because it is no longer supported, has a communication range of 100 meters (sending text messages via radio) and one can only use it to communicate with users of the same device. However, technology enthusiasts could find it interesting as a collectors' item, so by all means it is one of the most plausible gift ideas on this list.
|-
| Space || Webb telescope personal photoshoot || The Webb telescope belongs to NASA, the ESA and the CSA, and is currently very far from Earth. It is designed to capture distant space objects in previously unseen detail. It is not designed to photograph nearby objects of human size, assuming that that is what photoshoot implies. These circumstances make it both an impossible and impractical gift. Furthermore, unless the recipient of the gift is able to travel a long way from Earth, Webb would have to point at the warm Earth and expose its optics to the Sun, permanently crippling the telescope. [https://webb.nasa.gov/content/about/faqs/faqLite.html This is forbidden by NASA.]

On the other hand, a gift experience of being allowed to to take your own snapshot of Webb in position, perhaps with a [https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-10442913/James-Webb-Space-Telescope-seen-Earth-settles-orbit.html robotic telescope], might be an attractive gift to a space enthusiast! So might a chance to use the Webb telescope to take pictures of whatever celestial objects one chooses, as time on the Webb telescope is very carefully allocated.
|-
| Literature || Stephen King's writing desk (he's still using it so you'll have to fight him) || {{w|Stephen King}} is an author lucky enough to have legendary status while still alive. The desk of an author that has died would become an object of historic significance and would likely be either kept for exhibition or auctioned by their respective estate, but as Stephen King still writes, his desk, while valuable, cannot be subjected to the same.
|-
| Philosophy || Out-of-control trolley || This is another gift that places the recipient in the situations that they like discussing hypothetically. This refers to the {{w|trolley problem}}, which places stress on the person forced to make the decision, and exists to make them examine their morals. Facing someone with the hypothetical problem is already not a good gift, but [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sl5KJ69qiA forcing them to live through it in real life] is a terrible gift. (See [[1455: Trolley Problem]] for another cartoon inspired by this problem.)
|-
| Psychology || A nice gift with a note saying you don't expect anything in return || This is perhaps the most viable option on this list. This kind of gift giving could induce the Benjamin Franklin effect, causing the gift giver to like the recipient more. It could also be used to manipulate the recipient by increasing pressure to reciprocate. This would cause them stress, making it a bad gift, but a psychologist would hopefully understand it to be a joke.
|-
| (Title text) Babies or literature but not both || Baby shoes || This is a reference to the six-word story [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/For_sale:_baby_shoes,_never_worn For sale: baby shoes, never worn] which is often attributed to Ernest Hemingway. Someone with babies, such as expecting or new parents would find baby shoes as a valuable gift for their child. Someone interested in literature would see the reference to a famous work. But someone who understands the reference would possibly also be sad if they simultaneously actually enjoyed babies or have children of their own (since the story implies the seller was expecting a baby but there was an accident).
|}

''[https://xkcd.com/what-if-2/ What if? 2]'' is a book by [[Randall Munroe]], author of xkcd.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

What If? 2 Gift Guide

What if? 2 makes a good gift for anyone who's into science, absurd ideas, or just the universe in general. To order, go to xkcd.com/whatif2, or just type "what if 2" into some random box on your device; it will probably work.

Here are some other gift ideas for hard-to-shop-for science enthusiasts:

Interest - Gift Idea

Engineering - The platinum cylinder formerly used to define the kilogram 
Biology - The genomes of the scientists who headed the human genome project 
Physics - A beam of neutrinos delivered through the earth by the LHC 
Animals - Surprise wildlife encounter (gift-wrapped box with a bobcat inside) 
Law - A vacation to that area of Idaho where you can commit crimes with impunity due to a court district boundary error 
Chemistry - A necklace of element samples whose symbols spell out the recipient's name (note: names like "Katherine" and "Brandon" may cause radiation accidents.) 
Puzzles - Two goats and a new car 
Technology - Cybiko® Wireless Handheld Computer for Teens (2000) 
Space - Webb telescope personal photoshoot 
Literature - Stephen King's writing desk (he's still using it so you'll have to fight him) 
Philosophy - Out-of-control trolley 
Psychology - A nice gift with a note saying you don't expect anything in return. 

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Book promotion]]
[[Category:Bobcats]]

1889: xkcd Phone 6

2022-11-16T21:54:48Z

172.70.214.205: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1889
| date = September 13, 2017
| title = xkcd Phone 6
| image = xkcd_phone_6.png
| titletext = We understand your privacy concerns; be assured that our phones will never store or transmit images of your face.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the sixth entry in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone series]], and once again, the comic plays with many standard tech buzzwords, and horribly misuses all of them, to create a phone that sounds impressive but self-evidently isn't to even the most ignorant customer. It's number appears to be 6, VII, 10, X, 26, AND 1876. A phone having six different version numbers is clearly rediculous. The previous comic in the series [[1809: xkcd Phone 5 ]] was released 7 months before this one and the next [[2000: xkcd Phone 2000]] was released 8 and a half months later.

This comic was released the day after Apple announced their new {{w|iPhone 8}} and the higher-end {{w|iPhone X}} (pronounced iPhone 10) with facial recognition features.

===List of features (clockwise from center/top)===

; Front camera (centered for eye contact during video chat)
: A front camera has become a common feature of smartphones. The camera lens is located on the same side of the phone's case as the main screen, making it possible to capture the image of the user's face looking at the screen and display the interlocutor's face on the screen simultaneously, enabling video chat. However, as the camera is usually located above the screen, when the user looks at the displayed image of the other person they direct their eyes at the center of the screen and not at the camera's lens. This makes it appear on the other end of the chat as if the person talking was looking down and not making eye-contact, which can be an uncomfortable situation for many people. For this reason, professionals involved in movie or TV-making, like actors or reporters, are trained to look straight into the camera's lens while talking, which creates impression of looking straight at the viewer's face. During a video chat, however, looking into the lens of an above-screen camera does not allow one to see the interlocutor's face clearly because it is then in the peripheral field of vision.

: To solve this conundrum, Randall proposes locating the camera lens right in the middle of the screen. The user looking at the the other person's face on the screen would then also be looking at the lens, creating an impression on the other end of the chat that they are looking straight at the other person. This is absurd, since the lens would then take place of some of the center pixels of the screen, which would probably mean that it could not display the center part of the captured image of the other person's face. This could include features such as eyes and/or lips, which play an important part in non-verbal communication. Locating the camera lens in this way would probably also interfere with the touch-screen function. It would probably make other applications on the phone difficult to use, since virtually no user interface is designed to accommodate a blind spot in the center.

: The idea of having the camera in the middle of the screen is only currently absurd, however, as advances in technology may eventually enable such a feature to work without disturbing the appearance or function of the phone's display, unlike the visual disturbance clearly indicated in the comic. For instance, previous technological advancements have improved the functionality of the display, starting with adding touch sensing. The touch sensitive hardware of the phone is located in a thin layer above the hardware, that generates the image for the display, and capacitive touch sensing technology is less obtrusive than previous resistive sensing. While it has yet to be released to market, certain manufacturers are aiming to place a phone's fingerprint reader underneath the screen, for seamless functionality. Although it may be difficult at this point, figuring out a way to have a camera capture images through the array of pixels on the screen is not completely beyond imagination.

; Full-width rear camera
: Historically, there has been an 'arms race' among phone manufacturers to increase the 'size' of the rear camera, in terms of the number of pixels they can capture. This is not typically accompanied by equivalent increases in physical size, though. Phone cameras tend to have lenses which are quite small, and round or square -- measuring the same in width as in height. On this phone, the 'full-width' lens appears to be a long, thin strip, like an oval or rectangle shape. This could allow the camera to gather a lot more light, potentially working in low light situations. However the lens would be more vulnerable to damage and dirt. Unless a very large sensor was used, focusing the image could be a problem, since cell phones are typically not very deep.

; CDC partnership - phone automatically administers seasonal flu vaccine to cheek every year
: U.S. {{w|Centers for Disease Control and Prevention}} is a government agency tasked with addressing public health concerns, such as infectious diseases, including seasonal flu. A common way of limiting the spread of an infectious disease is {{w|Vaccine|vaccination}}, which most often involves administering a specially prepared vaccine via an {{w|intramuscular injection}}, though researchers have investigated other delivery systems, including aerosol, or microneedle injection. Uptake of vaccination is often poor, and many governments routinely use various different campaigns and techniques to try to encourage more people to get themselves vaccinated.

: This feature implies that the phone would automatically perform some form of injection once a year, administering a vaccine via a small aperture while the user is holding the phone to their cheek during a call. However, the placement of this component is dubious, as it would line up with the user's ear, rather than their cheek, during a phone call. It may be designed to detect the fraction of a second during which your cheek would be in the appropriate position (perhaps after a phone call, as you may be dropping the phone from your ear), and administer it at that moment; this would conveniently prevent disturbances to a majority of conversations.

: A further absurdity to this feature is that the vaccine is different every year, in order to account for various mutations causing different, and typically new, strains of the virus, which is the reason it has to be administered yearly. The CDC bases the combination of strains on a best-guess of what will be the most significant strains in circulation over the upcoming year, so in order to have the current year's vaccine, the user would have to physically load the new version into the phone for later administration, or there would have to be a mechanism to synthesize the concoction on-board the phone, and an associated logistics framework and digital standards for OTA delivery of specifications for the year's vaccine.

; 12-function
: Most smartphones can be used for more than twelve different things{{Citation needed}}. However, this may refer to the twelve basic functions of algebra (identity, squaring, cubing, square root, logarithm, exponential, reciprocal, sine, cosine, greatest integer, absolute value, and logistic), or the twelve function keys on a modern keyboard (more than the ten on the original IBM PC keyboard). Alternatively, it may be a reference to calculators: basic models are sometimes referred to as four function calculators (addition, subtraction, multiplication and division), and complex scientific calculators may advertise 250 or more functions.

; Dishwasher safe
: Waterproofing has become a much-pushed feature of many recent smartphones, with manufacturers competing on the claimed resilience of their models. A phone that was truly dishwasher safe would be ahead in this race, as it would have to be able to withstand high-pressure jets of water, high temperatures, and caustic effects of detergent over significant periods. This is often listed as a selling point of items used for preparing, serving, or storing food, such as plastic containers or crockery, which a normal person might want to clean using a dishwasher, but it seems excessive for phones, which are rarely cleaned with anything more than a quick wipe, and most people would not intentionally attempt to clean in a dishwasher.

; GPS transmitter
: Many smartphones have a receiver for the {{w|Global Positioning System}}, which allows a phone to compute its position based on signals from the constellation(s) of GPS satellites. However, a device with a "GPS transmitter" would broadcast signals that would interfere with the GPS receivers of all devices nearby. This might be used in some form of differential GPS, broadcasting signals from a known location to allow more precise determination of other locations, or such a system might be used to confuse or control devices, such as drones, which navigate using GPS.

; 3-G acceleration
: This is a mixture of three unrelated concepts with similar names. In computer graphics, "{{w|Graphics processing unit|3-D acceleration}}" refers to GPU hardware that speeds up handling of three-dimensional data, such as shapes rotating in space. In physics, "3 Gs of acceleration" refers to speed increasing at a rate of 3 times the acceleration of Earth's gravity, or approximately 30 m/s². In cellular networks, {{w|3G}} refers to a standard for data communication. GPUs, accelerometers, and compatibility with 3G networks are all normal features of modern smartphones. "3-G acceleration", however, is not a real term, and doesn't describe any meaningful feature of a phone. It appears to suggest that either the phone is capable of self-propelling with 3 Gs of acceleration, which doesn't seem particularly useful, or, perhaps more feasibly, that it has some way of increasing the data transfer rate over a 3G connection.

; Portable, solar-heated
: Portability is pretty much the entire point of using a ''mobile'' phone, so advertising portability is rather redundant. Solar ''power'' charging could be a very useful feature on a phone, but solar ''heating'' usually applies to plumbing, where a water tank is heated by the sun and used to supply hot water to taps. Technically, as the sun heats up everything it shines on, the phone is in fact solar heated. However, since avoiding overheating is a particular challenge in smartphone design, deliberately capturing solar energy simply in order to heat the device would seem rather counter-productive.

; Pore-cleaning strip
: Pore-cleaning strips are sticky strips designed to be applied to the skin and then pulled away to remove dirt and oils from the pores, with the intention of reducing spots and improving the complexion. The location shown for this feature would be inconvenient and irritating, as it would come into contact with the face every time the phone was held to the ear to make a call; something sticky on that location would be very annoying for clean-shaven people and extremely painful for anyone with facial hair. It would probably also result in that strip of the screen becoming obscured by an accumulation of facial gunk. Pore strips have been mentioned before in [[777: Pore Strips]].

: This may act as a sensor for the ''Shroud of Turin-style facial transfer unlock'', whereby the phone would collect the dirt, oils, and microflora from the user's face when it is pressed against the phone, and use it to verify their identity.

; Maximum strength
: Medicines are often sold as "Maximum strength", usually indicating that they contain the highest dose of active ingredients allowed by law, or allowed without a prescription. For phones, there are sometimes "hardened" or "ruggedized" versions, which are designed to survive harsher environmental conditions, such as surviving drops and collisions, excessive water, dust, etc. ''Maximum strength'' here could indicate such a "ruggedized" phone, though this would be hard to achieve with a screen that extended past the edges.

; Never needs sharpening
: Phones do not need to be sharpened in the first place{{Citation needed}}. This is a feature more likely to be found in a knife advertisement -- the slogan is infamous for hawking knives that ''cannot'' easily be sharpened, like a serrated blade -- or a mechanical pencil. Since the screen goes past the edge, it might be sharp enough to cut through things, much like a knife, though the phone would be unsafe to carry and handle if that were the case{{Citation needed}}.

Might also refer to sharpening the camera, which usually means adjusting the lens till an object is in focus. Most phones have autofocus and rarely need to be manually sharpened.

; Can survive up to 30 minutes out of water
: This is a play on the common IP-rating of water resistance, which is typically rated for submersion to a rated depth for 30 minutes. A phone which could only be used or carried for 30 minutes before it needed to be immersed in water would be rather inconvenient, although the phone short circuiting would likely not be an issue, as the phone is "dishwasher safe."

: Alternatively, either this phone's target market could be whales, dolphins, or other marine life, such as octopodes, or the feature could be optional. While such a feature would prove to be extremely useful for aquatic customers, the "solar-heated" feature would undoubtedly be inhibited significantly as water depths increased.

; Exclusive Audubon Society app identifies birds and lets you control their flight
: The {{w|National Audubon Society}} is a non-profit organization dedicated to the conservation of nature, and mainly of birds, which also organizes open {{w|birdwatching}} events. There are apps that attempt to identify bird species, for example, from a [https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.labs.merlinbirdid.app&hl=en_GB photo] or [https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.isoperla.birdsongid&hl=en_GB audio recording] of a bird made by the smartphone itself, though the Audubon Society's [https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.audubon.mobile.android&hl=en_GB own app] does not offer anything this interactive. An app allowing you to control the bird's flight would be way cooler and might work using the built-in GPS transmitter, confusing their navigation systems. However birds do not use GPS to navigate{{Citation needed}}, and it would fly in the face of the Audubon Society's core activity. This is a reference to {{w|Unmanned_aerial_vehicle|drones}} (which could be thought of as artificial "birds") which are often controlled by a smartphone app. This may also be a reference to [[1425: Tasks]], in which an app that can recognize if a bird is on camera is proposed.

; Extra screen
:Some phones advertise an additional display or display mode, often giving access to basic information, such as battery level and notifications without needing to activate the main screen function. Typically, this would be a low-power mode of operation of the normal screen, or else a form of display on another surface of the phone, such as the side or rear. Here, it seems to be an oddly shaped rectangular extension on the bottom of the main screen. This may have been added to make up for the loss of screen estate due to the center camera.

; Wireless charging port
:A port for {{w|Inductive_charging|wireless charging}} is an oxymoron, since wireless charging has no wires and thus has no need for a port, unless it is required for fuel for a fuel cell (see clean coal, below). This may be a jab at Apple's removal of the headphone port from their previous phones.

; Safe for ages 6-8 months, 10 months, 18 months-3 years, and 12 years and older
:Usually an item is deemed safe for a particular age or older, or (in the case of toys) is recommended for a particular age range. This is unusual in that it's a hodge-podge of age ranges with no apparent reason why some ages are safe and others are not. It may be a parody of drug commercials that list several age ranges for which the drug had to be separately approved.

; Screen goes past the edge
:A parody of the trend of "edge to edge" displays in recent generations of smartphones, or phones whose screens curve partway around the edge of the phone. In this case the screen is wide enough that it ''could'' curve partway around the edge, except the spillover does not actually form to the curves, resulting in a screen that is wider than the body of the phone. If the spillover is rigid, this would make the phone rather uncomfortable to hold, and the spillover is at risk of chipping off.

; High thread count CPU
:A {{w|Thread_(computing)|CPU thread}} is a task the CPU performs. Several threads may share memory, making them a process. Threads are meant to run in parallel and the operating system distributes the workload on the available hardware execution units. These execution units are sometimes called hardware threads, especially when there is more than one per processing unit (or core). For example, the Intel Core i7 7700 is considered a 4-core, 8-thread CPU. The vague "high thread count" statement could make sense in this context, however, it is most likely a joke about bedding, where it is an actual selling point; the thread count of a textile signifies the density of fibres in the material, and a high thread count is an indicator of a high quality fabric.

; Shroud of Turin-style facial transfer unlock
:The {{w|Shroud of Turin}} contains an image of the body and face of a man, originally believed to be {{w|Jesus Christ}}, before the Shroud was found to be 1200 years too young. Some theories suggest the image was created by interaction with or transfer from the body that was wrapped in the shroud. Presumably, to unlock this phone, the user would have to physically {{w|facepalm|press their face}} against the phone, the way the Shroud-Man's image was allegedly transferred to the shroud. This is probably a reference to the iPhone X's FaceID unlock, which uses a ''photograph'' of your face, augmented with spatial information, to unlock itself, and which had attracted [https://www.wired.com/story/iphone-x-faceid-security/ significant criticism] immediately before this comic came out.

; Fonts developed by NASA
: This may be a reference to many advertisements that claim that their product uses technology developed by NASA in an attempt to make it seem more impressive. NASA technology does often tend to be quite strong and advanced, as they claim at their [https://spinoff.nasa.gov/ spin off] website. Between 1975 and 1992 NASA used the {{w|NASA insignia|"worm" logotype}} in its insignia; it was a special font that omitted the horizontal bar in the capitalized letter A. However, it would not be particularly impressive to use this, since fonts have very little to do with NASA's core operations{{Citation needed}}, and it potentially implies that it would not support many other common, and perhaps more readable, fonts.

: This may also be riffing on the {{w|Writing_in_space|urban legend}} that NASA invested vast amounts of research in developing a pen that could write in space, rather than just using a pencil.

; Includes applicator
: This is found on the packaging for many products, such as tampons, cosmetics, and paints. An applicator for a phone would be absurd, since the phone cannot be applied, spread, inserted, or attached to something else. However, this may be referring back to the aforementioned yearly vaccine.

; Burns clean coal
: Clean coal is coal that is burned so that it does not give off as much soot, sulphur dioxide, nitrogen oxides, mercury, or other pollutants as "normal" coal, or methods of burning coal that give off relatively less pollutants. This may be advertised by energy companies trying to appear to be using clean energy, due to pollution concerns. Coal burning power plants are usually quite large, so a traditional coal fired thermal-electric plant in a cell phone would be absurd. {{w|Fuel cell|fuel cells}}, which produce electricity by oxidizing some fuel, can be small enough to fit in a cell phone, but they do not typically burn coal. The cordless charging port might be a receptacle for refueling the phone, using liquid or a fuel cartridge.

; Pre-seasoned
:Pre-seasoned typically refers to cast iron cookware which is ready to use out of the box, as opposed to needing to season it with oil and heat. It can also refer to packaged meats which are ready to cook without needing to be seasoned with herbs and spices, or timber that has been dried and is ready for use. A more technical definition of 'seasoning' means operating devices, usually calibrated standards or battery cells, for a while in the factory, to make sure the device meets constant performance requirements without deviating or diminshing too much. In this sense it could apply to the battery of the phone.

; Broad-spectrum SPF 30
:The xkcd phone somehow gives a {{w|sunscreen|sun protection factor}} (SPF) 30 level of protection from sunlight, meaning that it blocks all but 1/30 of skin-burning UVB radiation from sunlight, though it is not clear whether it is the user or the phone itself which is protected. Phones do not typically require protection from sunlight{{Citation needed}}. On the other hand, if, when placed between the user and the sun, the phone allows >3% of the radiation through, this would be remarkably more translucent, and therefore less effective, than most phones (which allow much less than 1% of UVB, or any other visible or near-visible wavelength, through). It would also be an inefficient method of protection, since it would only be able to protect a relatively small patch of skin.

; College-ruled
:College-ruled is a style of notebook paper having narrower than normal lines, in order to fit more text per page. That the phone is college-ruled suggests that there are lines permanently displayed on the screen, which could obscure any images on the screen, and make any text that doesn't line up with the lines hard to read. Defective screens can show similar patterns; for example, the iPhone 6 "touch disease" causes regularly spaced vertical lines to appear on top of the screen. Here, it is possible that the manufacturer is trying to pass off screen defects as features.

; Sterile packaging
:Useful for medical supplies, less so in a phone. There are numerous studies and resulting 'news' articles looking at the number of bacteria, fecal samples, and so forth, that can be found on the typical phone, typically with a sensationalist take on how you will be 'shocked' to discover this. However, sterile packaging would do little to counter this, since most of this contamination is accumulated after the user removes the phone from the packaging and begins using it.

; Radium backlight
:The discovery of the radioactive element radium sparked a brief fad in which manufacturers of consumer products began coating them with a paint containing radium and a radioluminescent substance, such as zinc sulfide, which converted the radiation from the radium into visible light. In particular, some clock and watch makers painted the faces or hands of their timepieces, allowing the time to be read at night without an external power source for the light. However, it was eventually realized that regular exposure to radium could result in radiation poisoning, particularly for the workers assembling and painting the products. A radium-based backlight would therefore be both potentially dangerous (especially for an object carried on one's person much of the time) but also largely useless, as the radioluminescent light is rather dim compared to conventional phone back lights.

; 4K pixels (50×80)
:"4K" typically denotes a screen with a width of ~4000 pixels, such as 4K TVs, which have 3840×2160 pixels, or about 8.3 million pixels total. That would be an outstanding resolution for a cell phone. Here, however, the "fine print" in parentheses clarifies that 4000 is actually the total number of pixels, not the width, which would be remarkably low resolution for a smart phone. As a comparison, the old Commodore VIC-20, with a resolution of 176 × 184, would have over 8 times the pixels of this phone. It is more comparable to the screen resolution of the sturdy Nokia 3310, which boasted a total of 4032 pixels, positioned 84 × 48.

===Version===
In the caption below the phone [[Randall]] presents many different version numbers:
*The number 6 is in correct order of all the xkcd phones
*The {{w|Roman numerals|Roman numeral}} VIII refers to the newly announced {{w|iPhone 8}} and jokes about the Roman numeral X below
*Version number 10 is the current version of Microsoft Windows
*The {{w|iPhone X}} was announced together with the iPhone 8 by Apple on September 12, 2017, a day before this comic was released. Apple clarified that X is meant to be read as the Roman numeral for 10, so for additional absurdity two xkcd phones share the same number, using different numerals
*The number 26 refers to the number of letters in the English alphabet
*In the year 1876 {{w|Alexander Graham Bell}} received the U.S. Patent No. 174465 for the {{w|invention of the telephone}}, but there is still a {{w|Elisha Gray and Alexander Bell telephone controversy|controversy}} whether {{w|Elisha Gray}} was the first to present a working telephone.

The "nonconsecutive version number war" referenced below the version names refers to several recent phones, and possibly operating systems, released consecutively with nonconsecutive version numbers, including:
*The iPhone X (or Ten) which will be released shortly after the iPhone 8
*The Samsung Galaxy Note 7 was released after the Note 5
*The Oneplus 5 was released after the OnePlus 3T
*The ZTE Axon 7 was released after the original Axon, skipping numbers 2-6.
*Microsoft Windows has a long history of non-consecutive version numbers/names, with the most well-known releases being (in order) {{w|Windows 3.1|3.1}}, {{w|Windows NT|NT}}, {{w|Windows 95|95}}, {{w|Windows 98|98}}, {{w|Windows 2000|2000}}, {{w|Windows Me|Me}}, {{w|Windows XP|XP}}, {{w|Windows Vista|Vista}}, {{w|Windows 7|7}}, {{w|Windows 8|8}}, and {{w|Windows 10|10}}.

Randall's ludicrous naming scheme aims to 'defeat' all of these by eclipsing them. By counting parallel version numbers xkcd defeated Apple 6:2.

The symbols at the end are ™ for trademark, ® for registered trademark, and © for copyright. The degree symbol ° after the letter C could be a play with degree Celsius. The use of all four symbols after the phrase is ridiculous, as ™ and ® indicate trademarks with opposite registration statuses, slogans can't be copyrighted, and the degree symbol usually has no meaning when applied to text.

In the title text Randall recognises privacy concerns about the facial recognition feature. A picture of a face will only be used for facial recognition, but never stored on the device nor transmitted to the internet. A ''small'' side effect may be that the famous selfie pictures aren't possible anymore, as well as video calls. Ironic, considering that the reason the camera is in the middle is to allow easier video calls.

==Transcript==
:[A smartphone is shown, the screen is slightly wider than the case, in the middle is a photo lens, and at the right bottom a small extra part is added to the screen.]
:[On top a bracket ranges nearly over the entire width of the case. The text reads:]
:Full-width rear camera
:[The label at the photo lens is:]
:Front camera (centered for eye contact during video chat)
:[The label on the extra part says:]
:Extra screen
:[At the bottom below the case a label reads:]
:Wireless charging port

:[The labels left to the phone are:]
:4k pixels (50x80)
:Radium backlight
:Sterile packaging
:College-ruled
:Broad spectrum SPF 30
:Pre-seasoned
:Burns clean coal
:Includes applicator
:Fonts developed by NASA
:Shroud of turn-style facial transfer unlock
:High thread count CPU
:Screen goes past the edge
:Safe for ages 6-8 months, 10 months, 18 months-3 years, and 12 years and older

:[The labels right to the phone are:]
:CDC partnership: Phone automatically administers seasonal flu vaccine to cheek every year
:12-function
:Dishwasher safe
:GPS transmitter
:3-G acceleration
:Portable, solar-heated
:Pore-cleaning strip
:Maximum strength
:Never needs sharpening
:Can survive up to 30 minutes out of water
:Exclusive Audubon Society app identifies birds and lets you control their flight

:[Text below the phone:]
:Introducing
:'''The xkcd Phone 6, VIII, 10, X, 26, and 1876'''
:''We didn't start this nonconsecutive version number war, but we will not lose it.''™®©°

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|xkcd Phones]]

1889: xkcd Phone 6

2022-11-16T21:54:32Z

172.70.214.205: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1889
| date = September 13, 2017
| title = xkcd Phone 6
| image = xkcd_phone_6.png
| titletext = We understand your privacy concerns; be assured that our phones will never store or transmit images of your face.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the sixth entry in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone series]], and once again, the comic plays with many standard tech buzzwords, and horribly misuses all of them, to create a phone that sounds impressive but self-evidently isn't to even the most ignorant customer. It's number appears to be 6, VII, 10, X, 26, AND 1879. A phone having six different version numbers is clearly rediculous. The previous comic in the series [[1809: xkcd Phone 5 ]] was released 7 months before this one and the next [[2000: xkcd Phone 2000]] was released 8 and a half months later.

This comic was released the day after Apple announced their new {{w|iPhone 8}} and the higher-end {{w|iPhone X}} (pronounced iPhone 10) with facial recognition features.

===List of features (clockwise from center/top)===

; Front camera (centered for eye contact during video chat)
: A front camera has become a common feature of smartphones. The camera lens is located on the same side of the phone's case as the main screen, making it possible to capture the image of the user's face looking at the screen and display the interlocutor's face on the screen simultaneously, enabling video chat. However, as the camera is usually located above the screen, when the user looks at the displayed image of the other person they direct their eyes at the center of the screen and not at the camera's lens. This makes it appear on the other end of the chat as if the person talking was looking down and not making eye-contact, which can be an uncomfortable situation for many people. For this reason, professionals involved in movie or TV-making, like actors or reporters, are trained to look straight into the camera's lens while talking, which creates impression of looking straight at the viewer's face. During a video chat, however, looking into the lens of an above-screen camera does not allow one to see the interlocutor's face clearly because it is then in the peripheral field of vision.

: To solve this conundrum, Randall proposes locating the camera lens right in the middle of the screen. The user looking at the the other person's face on the screen would then also be looking at the lens, creating an impression on the other end of the chat that they are looking straight at the other person. This is absurd, since the lens would then take place of some of the center pixels of the screen, which would probably mean that it could not display the center part of the captured image of the other person's face. This could include features such as eyes and/or lips, which play an important part in non-verbal communication. Locating the camera lens in this way would probably also interfere with the touch-screen function. It would probably make other applications on the phone difficult to use, since virtually no user interface is designed to accommodate a blind spot in the center.

: The idea of having the camera in the middle of the screen is only currently absurd, however, as advances in technology may eventually enable such a feature to work without disturbing the appearance or function of the phone's display, unlike the visual disturbance clearly indicated in the comic. For instance, previous technological advancements have improved the functionality of the display, starting with adding touch sensing. The touch sensitive hardware of the phone is located in a thin layer above the hardware, that generates the image for the display, and capacitive touch sensing technology is less obtrusive than previous resistive sensing. While it has yet to be released to market, certain manufacturers are aiming to place a phone's fingerprint reader underneath the screen, for seamless functionality. Although it may be difficult at this point, figuring out a way to have a camera capture images through the array of pixels on the screen is not completely beyond imagination.

; Full-width rear camera
: Historically, there has been an 'arms race' among phone manufacturers to increase the 'size' of the rear camera, in terms of the number of pixels they can capture. This is not typically accompanied by equivalent increases in physical size, though. Phone cameras tend to have lenses which are quite small, and round or square -- measuring the same in width as in height. On this phone, the 'full-width' lens appears to be a long, thin strip, like an oval or rectangle shape. This could allow the camera to gather a lot more light, potentially working in low light situations. However the lens would be more vulnerable to damage and dirt. Unless a very large sensor was used, focusing the image could be a problem, since cell phones are typically not very deep.

; CDC partnership - phone automatically administers seasonal flu vaccine to cheek every year
: U.S. {{w|Centers for Disease Control and Prevention}} is a government agency tasked with addressing public health concerns, such as infectious diseases, including seasonal flu. A common way of limiting the spread of an infectious disease is {{w|Vaccine|vaccination}}, which most often involves administering a specially prepared vaccine via an {{w|intramuscular injection}}, though researchers have investigated other delivery systems, including aerosol, or microneedle injection. Uptake of vaccination is often poor, and many governments routinely use various different campaigns and techniques to try to encourage more people to get themselves vaccinated.

: This feature implies that the phone would automatically perform some form of injection once a year, administering a vaccine via a small aperture while the user is holding the phone to their cheek during a call. However, the placement of this component is dubious, as it would line up with the user's ear, rather than their cheek, during a phone call. It may be designed to detect the fraction of a second during which your cheek would be in the appropriate position (perhaps after a phone call, as you may be dropping the phone from your ear), and administer it at that moment; this would conveniently prevent disturbances to a majority of conversations.

: A further absurdity to this feature is that the vaccine is different every year, in order to account for various mutations causing different, and typically new, strains of the virus, which is the reason it has to be administered yearly. The CDC bases the combination of strains on a best-guess of what will be the most significant strains in circulation over the upcoming year, so in order to have the current year's vaccine, the user would have to physically load the new version into the phone for later administration, or there would have to be a mechanism to synthesize the concoction on-board the phone, and an associated logistics framework and digital standards for OTA delivery of specifications for the year's vaccine.

; 12-function
: Most smartphones can be used for more than twelve different things{{Citation needed}}. However, this may refer to the twelve basic functions of algebra (identity, squaring, cubing, square root, logarithm, exponential, reciprocal, sine, cosine, greatest integer, absolute value, and logistic), or the twelve function keys on a modern keyboard (more than the ten on the original IBM PC keyboard). Alternatively, it may be a reference to calculators: basic models are sometimes referred to as four function calculators (addition, subtraction, multiplication and division), and complex scientific calculators may advertise 250 or more functions.

; Dishwasher safe
: Waterproofing has become a much-pushed feature of many recent smartphones, with manufacturers competing on the claimed resilience of their models. A phone that was truly dishwasher safe would be ahead in this race, as it would have to be able to withstand high-pressure jets of water, high temperatures, and caustic effects of detergent over significant periods. This is often listed as a selling point of items used for preparing, serving, or storing food, such as plastic containers or crockery, which a normal person might want to clean using a dishwasher, but it seems excessive for phones, which are rarely cleaned with anything more than a quick wipe, and most people would not intentionally attempt to clean in a dishwasher.

; GPS transmitter
: Many smartphones have a receiver for the {{w|Global Positioning System}}, which allows a phone to compute its position based on signals from the constellation(s) of GPS satellites. However, a device with a "GPS transmitter" would broadcast signals that would interfere with the GPS receivers of all devices nearby. This might be used in some form of differential GPS, broadcasting signals from a known location to allow more precise determination of other locations, or such a system might be used to confuse or control devices, such as drones, which navigate using GPS.

; 3-G acceleration
: This is a mixture of three unrelated concepts with similar names. In computer graphics, "{{w|Graphics processing unit|3-D acceleration}}" refers to GPU hardware that speeds up handling of three-dimensional data, such as shapes rotating in space. In physics, "3 Gs of acceleration" refers to speed increasing at a rate of 3 times the acceleration of Earth's gravity, or approximately 30 m/s². In cellular networks, {{w|3G}} refers to a standard for data communication. GPUs, accelerometers, and compatibility with 3G networks are all normal features of modern smartphones. "3-G acceleration", however, is not a real term, and doesn't describe any meaningful feature of a phone. It appears to suggest that either the phone is capable of self-propelling with 3 Gs of acceleration, which doesn't seem particularly useful, or, perhaps more feasibly, that it has some way of increasing the data transfer rate over a 3G connection.

; Portable, solar-heated
: Portability is pretty much the entire point of using a ''mobile'' phone, so advertising portability is rather redundant. Solar ''power'' charging could be a very useful feature on a phone, but solar ''heating'' usually applies to plumbing, where a water tank is heated by the sun and used to supply hot water to taps. Technically, as the sun heats up everything it shines on, the phone is in fact solar heated. However, since avoiding overheating is a particular challenge in smartphone design, deliberately capturing solar energy simply in order to heat the device would seem rather counter-productive.

; Pore-cleaning strip
: Pore-cleaning strips are sticky strips designed to be applied to the skin and then pulled away to remove dirt and oils from the pores, with the intention of reducing spots and improving the complexion. The location shown for this feature would be inconvenient and irritating, as it would come into contact with the face every time the phone was held to the ear to make a call; something sticky on that location would be very annoying for clean-shaven people and extremely painful for anyone with facial hair. It would probably also result in that strip of the screen becoming obscured by an accumulation of facial gunk. Pore strips have been mentioned before in [[777: Pore Strips]].

: This may act as a sensor for the ''Shroud of Turin-style facial transfer unlock'', whereby the phone would collect the dirt, oils, and microflora from the user's face when it is pressed against the phone, and use it to verify their identity.

; Maximum strength
: Medicines are often sold as "Maximum strength", usually indicating that they contain the highest dose of active ingredients allowed by law, or allowed without a prescription. For phones, there are sometimes "hardened" or "ruggedized" versions, which are designed to survive harsher environmental conditions, such as surviving drops and collisions, excessive water, dust, etc. ''Maximum strength'' here could indicate such a "ruggedized" phone, though this would be hard to achieve with a screen that extended past the edges.

; Never needs sharpening
: Phones do not need to be sharpened in the first place{{Citation needed}}. This is a feature more likely to be found in a knife advertisement -- the slogan is infamous for hawking knives that ''cannot'' easily be sharpened, like a serrated blade -- or a mechanical pencil. Since the screen goes past the edge, it might be sharp enough to cut through things, much like a knife, though the phone would be unsafe to carry and handle if that were the case{{Citation needed}}.

Might also refer to sharpening the camera, which usually means adjusting the lens till an object is in focus. Most phones have autofocus and rarely need to be manually sharpened.

; Can survive up to 30 minutes out of water
: This is a play on the common IP-rating of water resistance, which is typically rated for submersion to a rated depth for 30 minutes. A phone which could only be used or carried for 30 minutes before it needed to be immersed in water would be rather inconvenient, although the phone short circuiting would likely not be an issue, as the phone is "dishwasher safe."

: Alternatively, either this phone's target market could be whales, dolphins, or other marine life, such as octopodes, or the feature could be optional. While such a feature would prove to be extremely useful for aquatic customers, the "solar-heated" feature would undoubtedly be inhibited significantly as water depths increased.

; Exclusive Audubon Society app identifies birds and lets you control their flight
: The {{w|National Audubon Society}} is a non-profit organization dedicated to the conservation of nature, and mainly of birds, which also organizes open {{w|birdwatching}} events. There are apps that attempt to identify bird species, for example, from a [https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.labs.merlinbirdid.app&hl=en_GB photo] or [https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.isoperla.birdsongid&hl=en_GB audio recording] of a bird made by the smartphone itself, though the Audubon Society's [https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.audubon.mobile.android&hl=en_GB own app] does not offer anything this interactive. An app allowing you to control the bird's flight would be way cooler and might work using the built-in GPS transmitter, confusing their navigation systems. However birds do not use GPS to navigate{{Citation needed}}, and it would fly in the face of the Audubon Society's core activity. This is a reference to {{w|Unmanned_aerial_vehicle|drones}} (which could be thought of as artificial "birds") which are often controlled by a smartphone app. This may also be a reference to [[1425: Tasks]], in which an app that can recognize if a bird is on camera is proposed.

; Extra screen
:Some phones advertise an additional display or display mode, often giving access to basic information, such as battery level and notifications without needing to activate the main screen function. Typically, this would be a low-power mode of operation of the normal screen, or else a form of display on another surface of the phone, such as the side or rear. Here, it seems to be an oddly shaped rectangular extension on the bottom of the main screen. This may have been added to make up for the loss of screen estate due to the center camera.

; Wireless charging port
:A port for {{w|Inductive_charging|wireless charging}} is an oxymoron, since wireless charging has no wires and thus has no need for a port, unless it is required for fuel for a fuel cell (see clean coal, below). This may be a jab at Apple's removal of the headphone port from their previous phones.

; Safe for ages 6-8 months, 10 months, 18 months-3 years, and 12 years and older
:Usually an item is deemed safe for a particular age or older, or (in the case of toys) is recommended for a particular age range. This is unusual in that it's a hodge-podge of age ranges with no apparent reason why some ages are safe and others are not. It may be a parody of drug commercials that list several age ranges for which the drug had to be separately approved.

; Screen goes past the edge
:A parody of the trend of "edge to edge" displays in recent generations of smartphones, or phones whose screens curve partway around the edge of the phone. In this case the screen is wide enough that it ''could'' curve partway around the edge, except the spillover does not actually form to the curves, resulting in a screen that is wider than the body of the phone. If the spillover is rigid, this would make the phone rather uncomfortable to hold, and the spillover is at risk of chipping off.

; High thread count CPU
:A {{w|Thread_(computing)|CPU thread}} is a task the CPU performs. Several threads may share memory, making them a process. Threads are meant to run in parallel and the operating system distributes the workload on the available hardware execution units. These execution units are sometimes called hardware threads, especially when there is more than one per processing unit (or core). For example, the Intel Core i7 7700 is considered a 4-core, 8-thread CPU. The vague "high thread count" statement could make sense in this context, however, it is most likely a joke about bedding, where it is an actual selling point; the thread count of a textile signifies the density of fibres in the material, and a high thread count is an indicator of a high quality fabric.

; Shroud of Turin-style facial transfer unlock
:The {{w|Shroud of Turin}} contains an image of the body and face of a man, originally believed to be {{w|Jesus Christ}}, before the Shroud was found to be 1200 years too young. Some theories suggest the image was created by interaction with or transfer from the body that was wrapped in the shroud. Presumably, to unlock this phone, the user would have to physically {{w|facepalm|press their face}} against the phone, the way the Shroud-Man's image was allegedly transferred to the shroud. This is probably a reference to the iPhone X's FaceID unlock, which uses a ''photograph'' of your face, augmented with spatial information, to unlock itself, and which had attracted [https://www.wired.com/story/iphone-x-faceid-security/ significant criticism] immediately before this comic came out.

; Fonts developed by NASA
: This may be a reference to many advertisements that claim that their product uses technology developed by NASA in an attempt to make it seem more impressive. NASA technology does often tend to be quite strong and advanced, as they claim at their [https://spinoff.nasa.gov/ spin off] website. Between 1975 and 1992 NASA used the {{w|NASA insignia|"worm" logotype}} in its insignia; it was a special font that omitted the horizontal bar in the capitalized letter A. However, it would not be particularly impressive to use this, since fonts have very little to do with NASA's core operations{{Citation needed}}, and it potentially implies that it would not support many other common, and perhaps more readable, fonts.

: This may also be riffing on the {{w|Writing_in_space|urban legend}} that NASA invested vast amounts of research in developing a pen that could write in space, rather than just using a pencil.

; Includes applicator
: This is found on the packaging for many products, such as tampons, cosmetics, and paints. An applicator for a phone would be absurd, since the phone cannot be applied, spread, inserted, or attached to something else. However, this may be referring back to the aforementioned yearly vaccine.

; Burns clean coal
: Clean coal is coal that is burned so that it does not give off as much soot, sulphur dioxide, nitrogen oxides, mercury, or other pollutants as "normal" coal, or methods of burning coal that give off relatively less pollutants. This may be advertised by energy companies trying to appear to be using clean energy, due to pollution concerns. Coal burning power plants are usually quite large, so a traditional coal fired thermal-electric plant in a cell phone would be absurd. {{w|Fuel cell|fuel cells}}, which produce electricity by oxidizing some fuel, can be small enough to fit in a cell phone, but they do not typically burn coal. The cordless charging port might be a receptacle for refueling the phone, using liquid or a fuel cartridge.

; Pre-seasoned
:Pre-seasoned typically refers to cast iron cookware which is ready to use out of the box, as opposed to needing to season it with oil and heat. It can also refer to packaged meats which are ready to cook without needing to be seasoned with herbs and spices, or timber that has been dried and is ready for use. A more technical definition of 'seasoning' means operating devices, usually calibrated standards or battery cells, for a while in the factory, to make sure the device meets constant performance requirements without deviating or diminshing too much. In this sense it could apply to the battery of the phone.

; Broad-spectrum SPF 30
:The xkcd phone somehow gives a {{w|sunscreen|sun protection factor}} (SPF) 30 level of protection from sunlight, meaning that it blocks all but 1/30 of skin-burning UVB radiation from sunlight, though it is not clear whether it is the user or the phone itself which is protected. Phones do not typically require protection from sunlight{{Citation needed}}. On the other hand, if, when placed between the user and the sun, the phone allows >3% of the radiation through, this would be remarkably more translucent, and therefore less effective, than most phones (which allow much less than 1% of UVB, or any other visible or near-visible wavelength, through). It would also be an inefficient method of protection, since it would only be able to protect a relatively small patch of skin.

; College-ruled
:College-ruled is a style of notebook paper having narrower than normal lines, in order to fit more text per page. That the phone is college-ruled suggests that there are lines permanently displayed on the screen, which could obscure any images on the screen, and make any text that doesn't line up with the lines hard to read. Defective screens can show similar patterns; for example, the iPhone 6 "touch disease" causes regularly spaced vertical lines to appear on top of the screen. Here, it is possible that the manufacturer is trying to pass off screen defects as features.

; Sterile packaging
:Useful for medical supplies, less so in a phone. There are numerous studies and resulting 'news' articles looking at the number of bacteria, fecal samples, and so forth, that can be found on the typical phone, typically with a sensationalist take on how you will be 'shocked' to discover this. However, sterile packaging would do little to counter this, since most of this contamination is accumulated after the user removes the phone from the packaging and begins using it.

; Radium backlight
:The discovery of the radioactive element radium sparked a brief fad in which manufacturers of consumer products began coating them with a paint containing radium and a radioluminescent substance, such as zinc sulfide, which converted the radiation from the radium into visible light. In particular, some clock and watch makers painted the faces or hands of their timepieces, allowing the time to be read at night without an external power source for the light. However, it was eventually realized that regular exposure to radium could result in radiation poisoning, particularly for the workers assembling and painting the products. A radium-based backlight would therefore be both potentially dangerous (especially for an object carried on one's person much of the time) but also largely useless, as the radioluminescent light is rather dim compared to conventional phone back lights.

; 4K pixels (50×80)
:"4K" typically denotes a screen with a width of ~4000 pixels, such as 4K TVs, which have 3840×2160 pixels, or about 8.3 million pixels total. That would be an outstanding resolution for a cell phone. Here, however, the "fine print" in parentheses clarifies that 4000 is actually the total number of pixels, not the width, which would be remarkably low resolution for a smart phone. As a comparison, the old Commodore VIC-20, with a resolution of 176 × 184, would have over 8 times the pixels of this phone. It is more comparable to the screen resolution of the sturdy Nokia 3310, which boasted a total of 4032 pixels, positioned 84 × 48.

===Version===
In the caption below the phone [[Randall]] presents many different version numbers:
*The number 6 is in correct order of all the xkcd phones
*The {{w|Roman numerals|Roman numeral}} VIII refers to the newly announced {{w|iPhone 8}} and jokes about the Roman numeral X below
*Version number 10 is the current version of Microsoft Windows
*The {{w|iPhone X}} was announced together with the iPhone 8 by Apple on September 12, 2017, a day before this comic was released. Apple clarified that X is meant to be read as the Roman numeral for 10, so for additional absurdity two xkcd phones share the same number, using different numerals
*The number 26 refers to the number of letters in the English alphabet
*In the year 1876 {{w|Alexander Graham Bell}} received the U.S. Patent No. 174465 for the {{w|invention of the telephone}}, but there is still a {{w|Elisha Gray and Alexander Bell telephone controversy|controversy}} whether {{w|Elisha Gray}} was the first to present a working telephone.

The "nonconsecutive version number war" referenced below the version names refers to several recent phones, and possibly operating systems, released consecutively with nonconsecutive version numbers, including:
*The iPhone X (or Ten) which will be released shortly after the iPhone 8
*The Samsung Galaxy Note 7 was released after the Note 5
*The Oneplus 5 was released after the OnePlus 3T
*The ZTE Axon 7 was released after the original Axon, skipping numbers 2-6.
*Microsoft Windows has a long history of non-consecutive version numbers/names, with the most well-known releases being (in order) {{w|Windows 3.1|3.1}}, {{w|Windows NT|NT}}, {{w|Windows 95|95}}, {{w|Windows 98|98}}, {{w|Windows 2000|2000}}, {{w|Windows Me|Me}}, {{w|Windows XP|XP}}, {{w|Windows Vista|Vista}}, {{w|Windows 7|7}}, {{w|Windows 8|8}}, and {{w|Windows 10|10}}.

Randall's ludicrous naming scheme aims to 'defeat' all of these by eclipsing them. By counting parallel version numbers xkcd defeated Apple 6:2.

The symbols at the end are ™ for trademark, ® for registered trademark, and © for copyright. The degree symbol ° after the letter C could be a play with degree Celsius. The use of all four symbols after the phrase is ridiculous, as ™ and ® indicate trademarks with opposite registration statuses, slogans can't be copyrighted, and the degree symbol usually has no meaning when applied to text.

In the title text Randall recognises privacy concerns about the facial recognition feature. A picture of a face will only be used for facial recognition, but never stored on the device nor transmitted to the internet. A ''small'' side effect may be that the famous selfie pictures aren't possible anymore, as well as video calls. Ironic, considering that the reason the camera is in the middle is to allow easier video calls.

==Transcript==
:[A smartphone is shown, the screen is slightly wider than the case, in the middle is a photo lens, and at the right bottom a small extra part is added to the screen.]
:[On top a bracket ranges nearly over the entire width of the case. The text reads:]
:Full-width rear camera
:[The label at the photo lens is:]
:Front camera (centered for eye contact during video chat)
:[The label on the extra part says:]
:Extra screen
:[At the bottom below the case a label reads:]
:Wireless charging port

:[The labels left to the phone are:]
:4k pixels (50x80)
:Radium backlight
:Sterile packaging
:College-ruled
:Broad spectrum SPF 30
:Pre-seasoned
:Burns clean coal
:Includes applicator
:Fonts developed by NASA
:Shroud of turn-style facial transfer unlock
:High thread count CPU
:Screen goes past the edge
:Safe for ages 6-8 months, 10 months, 18 months-3 years, and 12 years and older

:[The labels right to the phone are:]
:CDC partnership: Phone automatically administers seasonal flu vaccine to cheek every year
:12-function
:Dishwasher safe
:GPS transmitter
:3-G acceleration
:Portable, solar-heated
:Pore-cleaning strip
:Maximum strength
:Never needs sharpening
:Can survive up to 30 minutes out of water
:Exclusive Audubon Society app identifies birds and lets you control their flight

:[Text below the phone:]
:Introducing
:'''The xkcd Phone 6, VIII, 10, X, 26, and 1876'''
:''We didn't start this nonconsecutive version number war, but we will not lose it.''™®©°

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|xkcd Phones]]

2697: Y2K and 2038

2022-11-11T19:21:58Z

172.70.214.205: /* Explanation */ I know a general contractor who still sends out invoices dated 19122, but he maintains it that way as a joke

{{comic
| number = 2697
| date = November 11, 2022
| title = Y2K and 2038
| image = y2k_and_2038_2x.png
| imagesize = 527x190px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = It's taken me 20 years, but I've finally finished rebuilding all my software to use 33-bit signed ints.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a Y2K-BRICKED BOT. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The Y2K bug, or more formally, the {{w|year 2000 problem}}, was the computer errors caused by two digit software representations of calendar years not correctly handling the year 2000, such as by treating it as 1900 or 19100. The {{w|year 2038 problem}} is a similar issue with timestamps in {{w|Unix time}} format, which will overflow their {{w|Signed number representations|signed}} 32-bit binary representation on January 19, 2038.

While initial estimates were that the Y2K problem would require about half a trillion dollars to address, there was widespread recognition of its potential severity several years in advance. Concerted efforts among organizations including computer and software manufacturers and their corporate and government users reflected unprecedented cooperation, testing, and enhancement of affected systems costing substantially less than the early estimates. On new years day 2000, few major errors actually occurred. Those that did usually did not disrupt essential processes or cause serious problems, and the many fewer of those that did were usually addressed in days to weeks. The software code reviews involved allowed correcting other errors and providing various enhancements which likely made up for the the cost of merely correcting the date bug.{{Actual citation needed}}

It is unclear whether the 2038 problem will be addressed as effectively in time, but documented experience with the Y2K bug and increased software modularity has allowed many otherwise vulnerable systems to already upgrade to wider timestamp and date formats, so there is reason to believe that it may be even less consequential and expensive.

The caption in this comic provides a punchline: everyone should have completed their "Y2K recovery" as it has been a full 22 years since the year 2000. It is highly unlikely that there are more than a very few consequential older systems that still suffer from this bug, and any modern systems have already been built to handle the years 2000 and later.

The title text refers to replacing the 32-bit signed Unix time format with a hypothetical new 33-bit signed {{w|Integer (computer science)|integer}} time and date format, which is very unlikely as almost all computer data structure formats are allocated no more finely than in 8-bit bytes. Taking 20 years to develop and implement such a format is not entirely counterproductive, as it would add another 48 years of capability.

The 2038 problem has been previously mentioned in [[607: 2038]] and [[887: Future Timeline]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

[A timeline rectangle spanning from 2000 to 2038 divided into two halves. The first is labeled "Recovering from the Y2K bug" and the second labeled "Preparing for the 2038 bug." An arrow labeled "Now" is pointing approximately at the year 2022.]

[Caption:] By now you should have finished your Y2K recovery and be several years into 2038 preparation

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Timelines]]

2694: Königsberg

2022-11-05T06:42:29Z

172.70.214.205: /* Explanation */ exclave more interesting

{{comic
| number = 2694
| date = November 4, 2022
| title = Königsberg
| image = konigsberg_2x.png
| imagesize = 448x343px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = At first I thought I would need some gold or something to pay him, but then I realized that it was the 18th century and I could just bring a roll of aluminum foil.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a WOLF, TWO GOATS, AND THREE BAGS OF GRAIN. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

[[File:Konigsberg bridges.png|frame|right|{{w|Königsberg}}, Prussia (now the Russian exclave Kaliningrad) in Euler's time, showing the Pregel river and its seven bridges]]

This comic is about the {{w|Seven Bridges of Königsberg}}, a seminal {{w|graph theory}} problem solved by the famous mathematician {{w|Leonhard Euler}}. The problem was to devise a path through the city that would cross each of the seven bridges exactly once, without crossing the river forks any other way. In 1736, Euler proved that there was no such possible path. This result is considered to be the first theorem of graph theory and the first proof in the theory of networks[http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mejn/courses/2004/cscs535/review.pdf] — a subject now generally regarded as a branch of {{w|combinatorics}} — and presaged the development of {{w|topology}}. Combinatorial problems of other types had been considered since antiquity.

[[Cueball]] attempts to cheat on the final exam in his algorithms class by traveling back in time to commission the construction of an eighth bridge before Euler could learn of the problem, allowing a trivial solution that would remove the rationale for further analysis. He hopes that this would alter his present-day timeline in such a way that the test becomes easier because graph theory might never have been developed.

With the addition of the eighth bridge, it becomes possible to create a path that crosses each bridge exactly once, starting at the north bank and ending on the eastern island (or vice-versa). However, there would remain no way to traverse each bridge exactly once and return to your starting point, because the altered graph would have an {{w|Euler trail}} but not an {{w|Euler cycle}}. Thus, the problem might still have been sufficiently interesting to spark Euler's curiosity. Adding a ninth bridge connecting the north bank to the east island would render the problem completely trivial. Without the seven bridges problem, Euler could have focussed on a different foundation for graph theory, possibly making an even harder examination in Cueball's time.

The title text alludes to the fact that ordinary {{w|aluminum foil}}, which was not commercially available until 1911, would have been a tremendously valuable curiosity in the 18th century, which didn't even have {{w|tin foil}}. Aluminium itself was a highly priced metal before the 1880s, when methods were developed to cheaply refine it. Famously, the {{w|Washington Monument}} was constructed with a tip made of pure aluminum due to its great value and conductive capacity. Aluminum had not even been extracted in its pure form at the time of Euler, and was only known in compounds such as {{w|alum}}, so it would have been unique and exotic.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball, standing next to two men wearing wigs, pointing with a pointer at a map showing the 7 bridges problem, with an extra bridge added in dashed lines]
:Cueball: Lord Mayor of Königsberg, I will reward you handsomely if you construct this bridge before my friend Leonhard arrives.

:[Caption below the panel]
:I tried to use a time machine to cheat on my algorithms final by preventing graph theory from being invented.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Programming]]

2694: Königsberg

2022-11-05T03:31:35Z

172.70.214.205: /* Explanation */ explain more

2681: Archimedes Principle

2022-10-25T23:15:01Z

172.70.214.205: /* Explanation */ wlink

{{comic
| number = 2681
| date = October 5, 2022
| title = Archimedes Principle
| image = archimedes_principle_2x.png
| imagesize = 312x379px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = "I've always wanted to run naked through town, but I don't want to get in trouble with the king or be remembered by history as a weirdo. I wonder how I could ... EUREKA!"
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Archimedes}} was tasked by his tyrant king, {{w|Hiero II of Syracuse}}, with determining whether a votive crown made by a local goldsmith actually contained all the gold the king had provided for it, or whether the goldsmith had substituted an equal weight of silver for the more-valuable gold. Archimedes knew he could solve this problem if only he could compare the crown's weight to its volume; since any silver in it, being only about half as dense, would occupy more volume than the gold. Despite knowing this, Archimedes didn't know how to measure the volume of the crown, which was highly irregularly shaped. According to legend, as Archimedes was getting into a bath one day, the bath overflowed. Archimedes realized that the volume of water displaced by any immersed object, including his body and the crown, was equal to the submerged volume of the object, and thus he could establish the crown's volume; a crown made with substituted silver of equal mass would displace more water than the supposed gold version would. This insight led him to solve the king's problem (and determine that the goldsmith had in fact cheated the king out of some gold). Legend also says[https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/fact-or-fiction-archimede/] that upon having this insight, he went running naked down the streets of Syracuse shouting "{{w|Eureka (word)|eureka}}!", Greek for "I have found it!" - a word now associated with sudden insights.

In the comic, Archimedes' insight doesn't involve science, but is a plan for self-enrichment. Evidently, he has concealed a less-valuable gold-plated or gold-alloy crown in the tub of liquid, and plans to swap it for the real crown when 'measuring the volume'. This implies that the king's crown turns out to be, in fact, pure gold, but Archimedes will report it to be adulterated with silver, in order to steal the gold crown for himself. This is claimed to be the invention of the heist. While theft has no doubt existed since property has existed, a "heist" implies a complex plan, often based on deception and carefully planned operations, as is typical of {{w|heist films}}.

The title of the comic, "{{w|Archimedes Principle}}", refers to a different but related insight of Archimedes, that the upward buoyant force that is exerted on a body immersed in a fluid is equal to the weight of the fluid that the body displaces. It may also relate to the particular {{w|Robin Hood|twist of morality}} being observed by this version of Archimedes, in that it seems not to be against his principles to defraud a king, and (incidentally?) besmirch a particular master-craftsman.

According to the title text, Archimedes's eureka moment wasn't when he discovered how to measure the crown's volume, but when he realized that he could use this discovery as a pretext for running naked through town, something he'd always wanted to do.

==Transcript==
:[Megan is leaning over a large bucket standing on the floor. She is resting one hand on the bucket and holding a crown in other other hand, which she has pulled partially up over the top of the water filled bucket. The water is now splashing over the edge of the bucket and dripping from the still partially immersed crown. Behind her back, with his back toward hers, Archimedes sits on a chair at a desk. He is depicted as a balding man with a white beard, and he is writing on a piece of paper, while a stack of papers lies in front of him.]
:Megan: Uh, Archimedes, why is there a bucket of water with a gold crown hidden in the bottom?
:Archimedes: It's mostly silver. Replica of the King's crown. He's coming here later, and I have a plan.

:[Caption beneath the panel:]
:Archimedes invents the heist.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category: Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category: Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category: Physics]]

2689: Fermat's First Theorem

2022-10-25T23:12:31Z

172.70.214.205: /* Transcript */ done

{{comic
| number = 2689
| date = October 24, 2022
| title = Fermat's First Theorem
| image = fermats_first_theorem_2x.png
| imagesize = 280x248px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Mathematicians quickly determined that it spells ANT BNECN, an unusual theoretical dish which was not successfully cooked until Andrew Wiles made it for breakfast in the 1990s.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a SPELLING ANT- Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This is a reference to {{w|Fermat's Last Theorem}}, humorously implying that {{w|Pierre de Fermat}} created a similar theorem as a child. Fermat's Last Theorem states that no three positive integers ''a'', ''b'', and ''c'' satisfy the equation ''a''''n''+''b''''n''=''c''''n'' for any integer value of ''n'' greater than 2. It is notable for having remained unproved for hundreds of years, despite many attempts to prove it, before {{w|Andrew Wiles}}, after first trying at age ten, finally succeeded in the 1990s, with assistance from his former student {{w|Richard Taylor (mathematician)|Richard Taylor}}.

The young Fermat here didn't try to prove the mathematical equation, but simply tried to read it as words, treating the "+" sign as a "t" so that "AN+" can be read as "ANT". His interpretation was quickly disproved because there's no "A" between "B" and "C", and no "O" between "C" and "N".

In the title text, the "words" are "ANT BNECN", treating the equals sign "=" as an "E"; while "=" doesn't look especially close to "E", it is similar in that it contains horizontal bars in a horizontally symmetrical arrangement (and of course, it can be read as "equals", which begins with "E"). The text then references Wiles, asserting that he proved this modified form of Fermat's First Theorem as well by cooking this "ant bnecn" (whatever "bnecn" is) as breakfast.

[[2492: Commonly Mispronounced Equations]] also contains equations pronounced as if they were words in the ordinary sense.

==Transcript==

:[A Hairy-like boy, representing Pierre de Fermat as a child, stands at a blackboard holding a piece of chalk. To his right is Miss Lenhart. The following text is somewhat crudely written on the blackboard:]
:AN + BN = CN
:SPELLS
:ANT BACON

:[Caption below the panel]:
:Fermat's ''First'' Theorem was quickly disproved

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Miss Lenhart]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]