explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1052: Every Major's Terrible

2014-07-16T08:17:52Z

173.245.55.79: /* Verse 3 */ That is not a proper noun, silly!

{{comic
| number = 1052
| date = May 7, 2012
| title = Every Major's Terrible
| image = every_majors_terrible.png
| titletext = Someday I'll be the first to get a Ph. D in 'Undeclared'.
}}

==Explanation==
The header notes that the song is based on the satirical {{w|Major-General's Song}} from Gilbert and Sullivan's 1879 comic opera ''The Pirates of Penzance''. The song satirises the idea of the "modern" educated British Army officer of the latter 19th century. ({{w|Major general}} being a military rank in Britain and many other countries.) See a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSGWoXDFM64 YouTube video of "I Am the Very Model of A Modern Major's General"] to get the tune. The lyrics are commonly rewritten, the most famous rewrite likely being [http://www.privatehand.com/flash/elements.html Tom Lehrer's Elements song], which is also available online. His other suggestion, "{{w|Supercalifragilisticexpialadocious}}", from ''{{w|Mary Poppins}}'', is another fast-paced patter-song with a somewhat similar tune, though it doesn't fit quite so well, and the match falls apart at the end of the fourth line, when the "Um-diddly"s start up — still, it's better than nothing. "My eyes are fully open" from Gilbert and Sullivan's ''Ruddigore'' would be a better fit, if anyone knew that that didn't already know the Major General's song.

There are at least two performances of this xkcd song online: a video with each major acted out by [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seGpYa8UO0E SFU Choir - Every Major's Terrible] and a solo with piano: [http://www.uproxx.com/gammasquad/2012/08/ben-miller-xkcd-every-majors-terrible/ xkcd's 'Every Major's Terrible' Is Now A Real Song By Ben Miller]. The transcription is also shown for each of them, so it is easier to understand the text.

The panels show Randall's rewritten lyrics to the song. Every verse ends with "Just put me down as 'Undecided' - Every Major's Terrible", which gives the strip its name — and "Major's Terrible" is similar enough to "Major General", the corresponding lyrics in the original version, to serve as a callback.

In the title text, "Undeclared" is sometimes called "General Studies". Most U.S. universities will not let you get a degree in this, let alone an advanced degree such as a Ph. D. Also, it should probably be noted that this song refers to U.S.-like university systems, in other countries, one will study little to nothing outside your major, making it more-or-less impossible to be undecided as to major.

===Verse 1===
;Panel 1, ''Philosophy's just math sans rigor, sense, and practicality'': The stick figure is posed as {{w|Rodin}}'s {{w|The Thinker}}, a common symbol for Philosophy. The equation in the background (two plus light bulb equals sailboat) is nonsense, hence "math sans rigor, sense or practicality"

;Panel 2, ''And Math's just physics unconstrained by precepts of reality.'': A cannon is firing. However, instead of going in the normal parabolic arc (a precept of reality), the cannonball splits and splits again, so that it looks like a {{w|bifurcation diagram}} from chaos theory.

;Panel 3, ''A Business Major's just a thing you get so you can graduate'': Business is the most common major, often seen as a practical choice applicable to a wide variety of careers, or, as the comic illustrates, preferred by those who just want an easy way to graduate.

;Panel 4, ''And Chemistry's for stamp collectors high on methylacetate.'': Stamp collecting refers to the famous quote by {{w|Ernest Rutherford}}, "All science is either physics or stamp collecting." {{w|Methyl acetate}} is the solvent used to remove stamps from their envelope. The stamps in the background form the {{W|periodic table}} of the chemical elements.

;Panels 5 and 6, ''Why anyone who wants a job would study Lit's a mystery / Unless their only other choice were something like Art History.'': These lines refer to subjects where a majority of graduates will end up unemployed or eventually working in a field outside their majors. Topics such as Literature or Art History are often and historically said to be in this category — although from [http://www.studentsreview.com/unemployment_by_major.php3?sort=Rate actual statistics], it is clear that there are far worse majors these days.

;Panels 7 and 8, ''A BA in Communications guarantees that you'll achieve / A little less than if you'd learned to underwater basket-weave'': {{w|Underwater basket weaving}} is a commonly used metaphor for any college major that is easy or worthless. "Communications" is a major chosen by people interested in news broadcasting or other media. For why that might be criticised, see [http://bad-pr.tumblr.com/ http://bad-pr.tumblr.com/.] Note that, if following the original music exactly, the line "A little less than if you'd learned to underwater basket-weave." will be repeated three times by the chorus after these panels.

;Panel 9, ''I'd rather eat a Fowler's toad than major in Biology,'': A {{w|Fowler's toad}} is a relatively common toad in the eastern US, and toads generally are not good eating. As well, a stereotype of studying biology is a frog dissection, which is likely part of the reference, albeit oblique.

;Panel 10, ''And Social Psych is worse than either Psych or Sociology.'': social psychology is compared to sociology (study of humans in society) and psychology (study of human minds); the first is represented by a mad chainsaw wielder in company, and the second by a mad chainsaw wielder by himself — the chainsaw wielder being stereotypical examples of "madness".

;Panels 11 and 12, ''The thought of picking any one of these is too unbearable, / Just put me down as "Undecided" - every major's terrible.'': End of the first verse. Every verse ends with some variation of this couplet, and in the original tune, each of these couplets are repeated by the chorus afterwards.
:''Unbearable'' and ''terrible'' rhyme for people who have the {{w|English-language vowel changes before historic /r/#Mary–marry–merry merger|Mary-merry merger}}.

===Verse 2===
;Panel 13, ''Now, if you can't prognosticate, that's OK in Seismology,'': This refers to the inability of {{w|seismology}} to reliably predict catastrophic {{w|earthquake}}s, even after centuries of extensive research.

;Panel 14, ''But if your hindsight's weak as well, you'd best stick to Theology.'': The formal logic proposition shown in the illustration, "X ∴ ∃X", says "I say there's this thing called X, therefore, there exists this thing called X". This is basically what the popular {{w|ontological argument}} for God boils down to. Briefly, it asks you to imagine the best possible deity. A God like that that exists is better than one that doesn't. But we said we were imagining the best possible deity. Therefore, this proposition concludes that God exists.

;Panel 15, ''CS will make each day a quest to find a missing close-paren.'': "CS" is short for "Computer Science." Most programming languages use parentheses as part of their syntax, and often have multiply-nested parenthetical expressions. This is especially true of {{w|Lisp (programming language)|Lisp}}. It is often difficult for a programmer to determine where the unbalanced parenthesis begins or ends when the code and parentheses are not properly formatted and indented.

;Panel 16, ''Virology will guarantee you'll never get a hug again.'': Virology is the study of infectious diseases. The symbol above the central figure is the biohazard symbol, implying that people who study infectious diseases, and are therefore located near them at some points in time, should be shunned like the plague, because they're probably carrying it.

;Panel 17, ''I.T. prepares you for a life of fighting with PCs nonstop.'': "I.T." is short for "Information Technology", a degree for people who maintain computer systems. If there is a need for an I.T. position (in which I.T. Professionals are employed) there are computers which need fixing — hence the I.T. Professional is always fixing computers, which may or may not have been [http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=19980506 "broken" by users].

;Panel 18, ''As Pratchett said, "Geography's just physics slowed with trees on top."'': This is a slightly amended quote from Discworld author Terry Pratchett, from his book "The Last Continent". The actual quote is "Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it." — but that doesn't scan.

;Panel 19, ''Though physics seems to promise you a Richard Feynman-like career,'': {{w|Richard Feynman}} was a 20th-century physicist known for his sense of fun, including being photographed for one of his books while holding a bongo drum.

;Panel 20, ''The wiki page for "Physics Major" redirects to "Engineer."'': A redirect on Wikipedia is a page which immediately sends the visitor to a different page. This implies that the title of the first is either a synonym or a sub-topic of the second. Physics majors usually learn to code, and the standard joke is that they invariably get hired as computer programmers after graduation. The Wikipedia page {{w|physics major}} didn't actually exist when this comic was published. It was created the same day, but as a redirect to {{w|physics education}}. In the subsequent days, there were dozens of instances of people changing it to redirect to {{w|engineer}}, usually reverted within minutes. As with the underwater basket-weaving line in the first verse, after the soloist sings this, the line would be repeated three times by the chorus.

;Panels 21 and 22, ''They say to study history or find yourself repeating it, / But all that it prepares you for is forty years of teaching it.'': This uses a version of a quote by {{w|George Santayana}} (although often attributed to others as well), ''Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it'' as a reason to study history — only to be followed by an indication that by studying history as a major, you will only be prepared to become a history teacher, and you will then spend the rest of your life teaching history.

;Panels 23 and 24, ''I recognize my four-year plan's at this point not repairable, / But put me down as "Undecided" - every major's terrible.'': End of the second verse. A "four-year plan" is the list of all the courses a student plans to include in his/her degree program. If you change majors every semester, or do not decide on one until too late, this list gets really difficult to turn into any one degree.

===Verse 3===
;Panel 25, ''Astronomers all cringe when they hear "Supermoon" or "Zodiac".'': {{w|Supermoon}} is a term invented by astrologers in the 1970s, with no significance in astronomy other than being the co-occurrence of orbital {{w|perigee}} and full-moon. But it comes up often in the press, linked to supernatural behavior. The {{w|zodiac}} is the circular band in the sky containing the apparent path of the sun, moon and planets. Most often when people talk about it, they're referring to {{w|astrology}} and {{w|horoscopes}} and other pseudo-scientific notions which often lead to conversations which are frustrating to astronomers.

;Panel 26, ''Agronomy's a no-go; I'm a huge agorophobiac.'': {{w|Agronomy}} is the science of farming, while {{w|agoraphobia}} is the fear of wide open spaces. Fields, where most farming happens, are wide open spaces.

;Panel 27, ''I'm too ophiophobic to consider Herpetology,'': {{w|Herpetology}} is the study of reptiles and amphibians, while ophiophobia is the fear of snakes. A bad combination.

;Panel 28, ''And I can't stomach any part of Gastroenterology.'': As the pun suggests, {{w|gastroenterology}} is the study of the human digestive system.

;Panel 29, ''While Pre-Med gives you twitchy-eyed obsession with your GPA,'': Pre-med is a major chosen by students hoping to go on to medical school and eventually become doctors. Medical school is extremely competitive and usually requires a very high undergraduate GPA for prospective students.

;Panel 30, <tt>a poetry degree bespeaks bewildering naïveté.</tt>: The text is in all lower-case and strangely laid out compared to text in other panels. All-lower-case and "free" layout are both associated with 20th century "Modernist" poetry, especially the works of {{w|e.e.cummings}}.

;Panels 31 and 32, ''TV's behind the rush into Forensic Criminology / (Or so claims meta-academic epidemiology).'': This refers to how forensic criminology shows, like CSI, that often dramatize, exaggerate or otherwise confuse the science behind forensics, give people unrealistically glamorous views of the career, thus encouraging them to join it. Epidemiology is the study of causes and effects of events and trends. This is, again, the point where the chorus joins in, as in the previous two verses.

;Panels 33 and 34, ''By dubbing Econ "dismal science" adherents exaggerate; / The "dismal"'s fine - it's "science" where they patently prevaricate.'': "Econ" is short for "Economics". Thomas Carlyle declared economics "{{w|the dismal science}}" in the Victorian era. Economists claim that economics is a science like any other; however, as the predictive power of all economic theories are exceedingly weak compared to any other science, this is disputed by those outside the field at times, and, of course, by this song.

;Panels 35 and 36, ''In terms of choices, I'd say only Sophie's was comparable. / Just put me down as "Undecided" - every major's terrible!'': End of the third verse, with yet another variant on the closing couplet. Choosing a major is compared to {{w|Sophie's Choice}}, which is any dilemma where choosing one cherished person or thing over the other will result in the death or destruction of the other, derived from the theme of the novel, which has also been turned into a romantic drama film (in which a mother must choose which of her children will die).

==Transcript==
:'''Every Major's Terrible'''
:to the tune of Gilbert & Sullivan's
:'''Modern Major-General Song'''
:(Which you may know from Tom Lehrer's ''Elements''. If not, just hum ''Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious''.)

:Philosophy's just math sans rigor, sense, and practicality
::[Cueball thinking, chin on fist, à la Rodin's sculpture; in the air is a pseudo-mathematical expression "2 + <picture of light bulb> = <picture of sailboat>"]
:And Math's just physics unconstrained by precepts of reality.
::[A cannon firing: a dashed line indicates the cannonball's trajectory, which bifurcates twice, although the sum of the momentums of the four resulting 1/4 sized cannonballs is presumably mathematically identical to the original.]
:A Business Major's just a thing you get so you can graduate
::[A student receives a diploma from a dean on a podium, while a second student, diploma in hand, runs gleefully away, shedding robe and mortarboard.]
:And Chemistry's for stamp collectors high on methylacetate.
::[A ponytailed student wearing goggles and holding an Erlenmeyer flask dances wildly to a light show -- or is it the Periodic Table? -- in the background.]
:Why anyone who wants a job would study Lit's a mystery
::[Cueball, saying this, holds up hands questioningly.]
:Unless their only other choice were something like Art History.
::[Cueball again, holding his chin speculatively.]
:A BA in communications guarantees that you'll achieve
::[close-up of a graduate wearing embroidered robe and tasseled mortarboard.]
:A little less than if you'd learned to underwater basket-weave
::[The same graduate, now underwater, surrounded by fish and a wicker basket.]
:I'd rather eat a Fowler's toad than major in Biology,
::[Cueball holding a frog at arm's length, which says:.]
::Frog: RIBBIT
:And Social Psych is worse than either Psych or Sociology.
::[Megan indicating: a scruffy individual, an individual holding something which might be a chainsaw, and a scruffy individual holding something which might be a chainsaw.]
:The thought of picking any one of these is too unbearable.
::[Cueball at his adviser's desk holding a course catalog.]
:Just put me down as "Undecided" - every major's terrible.
::[He tosses the course catalog over his shoulder.]

:Now, if you can't prognosticate, that's OK in Seismology,
::[Seismograph chart; about halfway across one trace begins oscillating vigorously.]
:But if your hindsight's weak as well, you'd best stick to Theology.
::[A bearded individual pontificates.]
::Bearded individual: X ∴ ∃X
:CS will make each day a quest to find a missing close-paren.
::[A code fragment.]
::code: <code>(((()((((()(</code>
::code: <code>))))())())())</code>
:Virology will guarantee you'll never get a hug again.
::[A girl with a green Biohazard symbol floating above her head stands alone; to the left and right several people shun her.]
:I.T. prepares you for a life of fighting with PCs nonstop.
::[Megan running at a PC with an axe raised over her head.]
:As Pratchett said, "Geography's just physics slowed with trees on top."
::[Image of Pratchett, speaking this line.]
:Though physics seems to promise you a Richard Feynman-like career,
::[Richard Feynman plays the bongo drums while Megan and Ponytail look on admiringly.]
:The wiki page for "Physics Major" redirects to "Engineer."
::[Screenshot of so-mentioned redirect.]
:They say to study history or find yourself repeating it,
::[Flowchart: a grey box with a sad face chains to a decision diamond reading simply "?"; the "yes" branch leads to a yellow happy-face box while the "no" branch loops back to the initial sad face.]
:But all that it prepares you for is forty years of teaching it.
::[Teacher with boxy spectacles and a bun at a chalkboard indicating dates: 1935, 1969, 1991.]
:I recognize my four-year plan's at this point not repairable,
::[Cueball at his adviser's desk again.]
:But put me down as "Undecided" - every major's terrible.
::[Adviser has his hand to his mouth as if gasping.]

:Astronomers all cringe when they hear "Supermoon" or "Zodiac".
::[Image of an astrologer espousing theories.]
:Agronomy's a no-go; I'm a huge agorophobiac.
::[Silhouette of Cueball, agitated, in an open field near a fence and a tractor.]
:I'm too ophiophobic to consider Herpetology,
::[Cueball looking aghast at a snake on the ground; the snake may have other ideas.]
::snake: ♥?
:And I can't stomach any part of Gastroenterology.
::[Anatomical image of a stomach.]
:While Pre-Med gives you twitchy-eyed obsession with your GPA,
::[A badly disheveled individual, glasses askew, clutching folders and papers and dropping several]
:<tt>a poetry degree bespeaks bewildering naïveté.</tt>
::[Ponytail reciting poetry; her poem is this panel's line, in a lighter, lower-case font.]
:TV's behind the rush into Forensic Criminology
::["CSI: Miami" logo.]
:(Or so claims Meta-academic Epidemiology).
::[Ponytail holding notebook, and balding individual wearing glasses and holding pipe, watch a wall-mounted flatscreen TV on which "CSI: Miami" logo is showing.]
:By dubbing Econ "dismal science" adherents exaggerate;
::[Cueball discoursing on his opinion here.]
:The "dismal"'s fine - it's "science" where they patently prevaricate.
::[Close-up on Cueball.]
:In terms of choices, I'd say only Sophie's was comparable.
::[Cueball at his adviser's desk once more.]
:Just put me down as "Undecided" - every major's terrible!
::[Cueball makes a final dramatic flair.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Songs]]

1052: Every Major's Terrible

2014-07-16T07:53:29Z

173.245.55.79: /* Verse 2 */ I removed some editorialized language. It is not this wiki's place to take a stance on certain beliefs.

{{comic
| number = 1052
| date = May 7, 2012
| title = Every Major's Terrible
| image = every_majors_terrible.png
| titletext = Someday I'll be the first to get a Ph. D in 'Undeclared'.
}}

==Explanation==
The header notes that the song is based on the satirical {{w|Major-General's Song}} from Gilbert and Sullivan's 1879 comic opera ''The Pirates of Penzance''. The song satirises the idea of the "modern" educated British Army officer of the latter 19th century. ({{w|Major general}} being a military rank in Britain and many other countries.) See a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSGWoXDFM64 YouTube video of "I Am the Very Model of A Modern Major's General"] to get the tune. The lyrics are commonly rewritten, the most famous rewrite likely being [http://www.privatehand.com/flash/elements.html Tom Lehrer's Elements song], which is also available online. His other suggestion, "{{w|Supercalifragilisticexpialadocious}}", from ''{{w|Mary Poppins}}'', is another fast-paced patter-song with a somewhat similar tune, though it doesn't fit quite so well, and the match falls apart at the end of the fourth line, when the "Um-diddly"s start up — still, it's better than nothing. "My eyes are fully open" from Gilbert and Sullivan's ''Ruddigore'' would be a better fit, if anyone knew that that didn't already know the Major General's song.

There are at least two performances of this xkcd song online: a video with each major acted out by [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seGpYa8UO0E SFU Choir - Every Major's Terrible] and a solo with piano: [http://www.uproxx.com/gammasquad/2012/08/ben-miller-xkcd-every-majors-terrible/ xkcd's 'Every Major's Terrible' Is Now A Real Song By Ben Miller]. The transcription is also shown for each of them, so it is easier to understand the text.

The panels show Randall's rewritten lyrics to the song. Every verse ends with "Just put me down as 'Undecided' - Every Major's Terrible", which gives the strip its name — and "Major's Terrible" is similar enough to "Major General", the corresponding lyrics in the original version, to serve as a callback.

In the title text, "Undeclared" is sometimes called "General Studies". Most U.S. universities will not let you get a degree in this, let alone an advanced degree such as a Ph. D. Also, it should probably be noted that this song refers to U.S.-like university systems, in other countries, one will study little to nothing outside your major, making it more-or-less impossible to be undecided as to major.

===Verse 1===
;Panel 1, ''Philosophy's just math sans rigor, sense, and practicality'': The stick figure is posed as {{w|Rodin}}'s {{w|The Thinker}}, a common symbol for Philosophy. The equation in the background (two plus light bulb equals sailboat) is nonsense, hence "math sans rigor, sense or practicality"

;Panel 2, ''And Math's just physics unconstrained by precepts of reality.'': A cannon is firing. However, instead of going in the normal parabolic arc (a precept of reality), the cannonball splits and splits again, so that it looks like a {{w|bifurcation diagram}} from chaos theory.

;Panel 3, ''A Business Major's just a thing you get so you can graduate'': Business is the most common major, often seen as a practical choice applicable to a wide variety of careers, or, as the comic illustrates, preferred by those who just want an easy way to graduate.

;Panel 4, ''And Chemistry's for stamp collectors high on methylacetate.'': Stamp collecting refers to the famous quote by {{w|Ernest Rutherford}}, "All science is either physics or stamp collecting." {{w|Methyl acetate}} is the solvent used to remove stamps from their envelope. The stamps in the background form the {{W|periodic table}} of the chemical elements.

;Panels 5 and 6, ''Why anyone who wants a job would study Lit's a mystery / Unless their only other choice were something like Art History.'': These lines refer to subjects where a majority of graduates will end up unemployed or eventually working in a field outside their majors. Topics such as Literature or Art History are often and historically said to be in this category — although from [http://www.studentsreview.com/unemployment_by_major.php3?sort=Rate actual statistics], it is clear that there are far worse majors these days.

;Panels 7 and 8, ''A BA in Communications guarantees that you'll achieve / A little less than if you'd learned to underwater basket-weave'': {{w|Underwater basket weaving}} is a commonly used metaphor for any college major that is easy or worthless. "Communications" is a major chosen by people interested in news broadcasting or other media. For why that might be criticised, see [http://bad-pr.tumblr.com/ http://bad-pr.tumblr.com/.] Note that, if following the original music exactly, the line "A little less than if you'd learned to underwater basket-weave." will be repeated three times by the chorus after these panels.

;Panel 9, ''I'd rather eat a Fowler's toad than major in Biology,'': A {{w|Fowler's toad}} is a relatively common toad in the eastern US, and toads generally are not good eating. As well, a stereotype of studying biology is a frog dissection, which is likely part of the reference, albeit oblique.

;Panel 10, ''And Social Psych is worse than either Psych or Sociology.'': social psychology is compared to sociology (study of humans in society) and psychology (study of human minds); the first is represented by a mad chainsaw wielder in company, and the second by a mad chainsaw wielder by himself — the chainsaw wielder being stereotypical examples of "madness".

;Panels 11 and 12, ''The thought of picking any one of these is too unbearable, / Just put me down as "Undecided" - every major's terrible.'': End of the first verse. Every verse ends with some variation of this couplet, and in the original tune, each of these couplets are repeated by the chorus afterwards.
:''Unbearable'' and ''terrible'' rhyme for people who have the {{w|English-language vowel changes before historic /r/#Mary–marry–merry merger|Mary-merry merger}}.

===Verse 2===
;Panel 13, ''Now, if you can't prognosticate, that's OK in Seismology,'': This refers to the inability of {{w|seismology}} to reliably predict catastrophic {{w|earthquake}}s, even after centuries of extensive research.

;Panel 14, ''But if your hindsight's weak as well, you'd best stick to Theology.'': The formal logic proposition shown in the illustration, "X ∴ ∃X", says "I say there's this thing called X, therefore, there exists this thing called X". This is basically what the popular {{w|ontological argument}} for God boils down to. Briefly, it asks you to imagine the best possible deity. A God like that that exists is better than one that doesn't. But we said we were imagining the best possible deity. Therefore, this proposition concludes that God exists.

;Panel 15, ''CS will make each day a quest to find a missing close-paren.'': "CS" is short for "Computer Science." Most programming languages use parentheses as part of their syntax, and often have multiply-nested parenthetical expressions. This is especially true of {{w|Lisp (programming language)|Lisp}}. It is often difficult for a programmer to determine where the unbalanced parenthesis begins or ends when the code and parentheses are not properly formatted and indented.

;Panel 16, ''Virology will guarantee you'll never get a hug again.'': Virology is the study of infectious diseases. The symbol above the central figure is the biohazard symbol, implying that people who study infectious diseases, and are therefore located near them at some points in time, should be shunned like the plague, because they're probably carrying it.

;Panel 17, ''I.T. prepares you for a life of fighting with PCs nonstop.'': "I.T." is short for "Information Technology", a degree for people who maintain computer systems. If there is a need for an I.T. position (in which I.T. Professionals are employed) there are computers which need fixing — hence the I.T. Professional is always fixing computers, which may or may not have been [http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=19980506 "broken" by users].

;Panel 18, ''As Pratchett said, "Geography's just physics slowed with trees on top."'': This is a slightly amended quote from Discworld author Terry Pratchett, from his book "The Last Continent". The actual quote is "Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it." — but that doesn't scan.

;Panel 19, ''Though physics seems to promise you a Richard Feynman-like career,'': {{w|Richard Feynman}} was a 20th-century physicist known for his sense of fun, including being photographed for one of his books while holding a bongo drum.

;Panel 20, ''The wiki page for "Physics Major" redirects to "Engineer."'': A redirect on Wikipedia is a page which immediately sends the visitor to a different page. This implies that the title of the first is either a synonym or a sub-topic of the second. Physics majors usually learn to code, and the standard joke is that they invariably get hired as computer programmers after graduation. The Wikipedia page {{w|physics major}} didn't actually exist when this comic was published. It was created the same day, but as a redirect to {{w|physics education}}. In the subsequent days, there were dozens of instances of people changing it to redirect to {{w|engineer}}, usually reverted within minutes. As with the underwater basket-weaving line in the first verse, after the soloist sings this, the line would be repeated three times by the chorus.

;Panels 21 and 22, ''They say to study history or find yourself repeating it, / But all that it prepares you for is forty years of teaching it.'': This uses a version of a quote by {{w|George Santayana}} (although often attributed to others as well), ''Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it'' as a reason to study history — only to be followed by an indication that by studying history as a major, you will only be prepared to become a history teacher, and you will then spend the rest of your life teaching history.

;Panels 23 and 24, ''I recognize my four-year plan's at this point not repairable, / But put me down as "Undecided" - every major's terrible.'': End of the second verse. A "four-year plan" is the list of all the courses a student plans to include in his/her degree program. If you change majors every semester, or do not decide on one until too late, this list gets really difficult to turn into any one degree.

===Verse 3===
;Panel 25, ''Astronomers all cringe when they hear "Supermoon" or "Zodiac".'': {{w|Supermoon}} is a term invented by astrologers in the 1970s, with no significance in astronomy other than being the co-occurrence of orbital {{w|perigee}} and full-moon. But it comes up often in the press, linked to supernatural behavior. The {{w|zodiac}} is the circular band in the sky containing the apparent path of the sun, moon and planets. Most often when people talk about it, they're referring to {{w|astrology}} and {{w|horoscopes}} and other pseudo-scientific notions which often lead to conversations which are frustrating to astronomers.

;Panel 26, ''Agronomy's a no-go; I'm a huge agorophobiac.'': {{w|Agronomy}} is the science of farming, while {{w|agoraphobia}} is the fear of wide open spaces. Fields, where most farming happens, are wide open spaces.

;Panel 27, ''I'm too ophiophobic to consider Herpetology,'': {{w|Herpetology}} is the study of reptiles and amphibians, while ophiophobia is the fear of snakes. A bad combination.

;Panel 28, ''And I can't stomach any part of Gastroenterology.'': As the pun suggests, {{w|gastroenterology}} is the study of the human digestive system.

;Panel 29, ''While Pre-Med gives you twitchy-eyed obsession with your GPA,'': Pre-med is a major chosen by students hoping to go on to medical school and eventually become doctors. Medical school is extremely competitive and usually requires a very high undergraduate GPA for prospective students.

;Panel 30, <tt>a poetry degree bespeaks bewildering naïveté.</tt>: The text is in all lower-case and strangely laid out compared to text in other panels. All-lower-case and "free" layout are both associated with 20th century "Modernist" poetry, especially the works of {{w|e.e.cummings}}.

;Panels 31 and 32, ''TV's behind the rush into Forensic Criminology / (Or so claims meta-academic epidemiology).'': This refers to how forensic criminology shows, like CSI, that often dramatize, exaggerate or otherwise confuse the science behind forensics, give people unrealistically glamorous views of the career, thus encouraging them to join it. Epidemiology is the study of causes and effects of events and trends. This is, again, the point where the chorus joins in, as in the previous two verses.

;Panels 33 and 34, ''By dubbing Econ "dismal science" adherents exaggerate; / The "dismal"'s fine - it's "science" where they patently prevaricate.'': "Econ" is short for "Economics". Thomas Carlyle declared economics "{{w|the dismal science}}" in the Victorian era. Economists claim that economics is a science like any other; however, as the predictive power of all economic theories are exceedingly weak compared to any other science, this is disputed by those outside the field at times, and, of course, by this song.

;Panels 35 and 36, ''In terms of choices, I'd say only Sophie's was comparable. / Just put me down as "Undecided" - every major's terrible!'': End of the third verse, with yet another variant on the closing couplet. Choosing a Major is compared to {{w|Sophie's Choice}}, which is any dilemma where choosing one cherished person or thing over the other will result in the death or destruction of the other, derived from the theme of the novel, which has also been turned into a romantic drama film (in which a mother must choose which of her children will die).

==Transcript==
:'''Every Major's Terrible'''
:to the tune of Gilbert & Sullivan's
:'''Modern Major-General Song'''
:(Which you may know from Tom Lehrer's ''Elements''. If not, just hum ''Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious''.)

:Philosophy's just math sans rigor, sense, and practicality
::[Cueball thinking, chin on fist, à la Rodin's sculpture; in the air is a pseudo-mathematical expression "2 + <picture of light bulb> = <picture of sailboat>"]
:And Math's just physics unconstrained by precepts of reality.
::[A cannon firing: a dashed line indicates the cannonball's trajectory, which bifurcates twice, although the sum of the momentums of the four resulting 1/4 sized cannonballs is presumably mathematically identical to the original.]
:A Business Major's just a thing you get so you can graduate
::[A student receives a diploma from a dean on a podium, while a second student, diploma in hand, runs gleefully away, shedding robe and mortarboard.]
:And Chemistry's for stamp collectors high on methylacetate.
::[A ponytailed student wearing goggles and holding an Erlenmeyer flask dances wildly to a light show -- or is it the Periodic Table? -- in the background.]
:Why anyone who wants a job would study Lit's a mystery
::[Cueball, saying this, holds up hands questioningly.]
:Unless their only other choice were something like Art History.
::[Cueball again, holding his chin speculatively.]
:A BA in communications guarantees that you'll achieve
::[close-up of a graduate wearing embroidered robe and tasseled mortarboard.]
:A little less than if you'd learned to underwater basket-weave
::[The same graduate, now underwater, surrounded by fish and a wicker basket.]
:I'd rather eat a Fowler's toad than major in Biology,
::[Cueball holding a frog at arm's length, which says:.]
::Frog: RIBBIT
:And Social Psych is worse than either Psych or Sociology.
::[Megan indicating: a scruffy individual, an individual holding something which might be a chainsaw, and a scruffy individual holding something which might be a chainsaw.]
:The thought of picking any one of these is too unbearable.
::[Cueball at his adviser's desk holding a course catalog.]
:Just put me down as "Undecided" - every major's terrible.
::[He tosses the course catalog over his shoulder.]

:Now, if you can't prognosticate, that's OK in Seismology,
::[Seismograph chart; about halfway across one trace begins oscillating vigorously.]
:But if your hindsight's weak as well, you'd best stick to Theology.
::[A bearded individual pontificates.]
::Bearded individual: X ∴ ∃X
:CS will make each day a quest to find a missing close-paren.
::[A code fragment.]
::code: <code>(((()((((()(</code>
::code: <code>))))())())())</code>
:Virology will guarantee you'll never get a hug again.
::[A girl with a green Biohazard symbol floating above her head stands alone; to the left and right several people shun her.]
:I.T. prepares you for a life of fighting with PCs nonstop.
::[Megan running at a PC with an axe raised over her head.]
:As Pratchett said, "Geography's just physics slowed with trees on top."
::[Image of Pratchett, speaking this line.]
:Though physics seems to promise you a Richard Feynman-like career,
::[Richard Feynman plays the bongo drums while Megan and Ponytail look on admiringly.]
:The wiki page for "Physics Major" redirects to "Engineer."
::[Screenshot of so-mentioned redirect.]
:They say to study history or find yourself repeating it,
::[Flowchart: a grey box with a sad face chains to a decision diamond reading simply "?"; the "yes" branch leads to a yellow happy-face box while the "no" branch loops back to the initial sad face.]
:But all that it prepares you for is forty years of teaching it.
::[Teacher with boxy spectacles and a bun at a chalkboard indicating dates: 1935, 1969, 1991.]
:I recognize my four-year plan's at this point not repairable,
::[Cueball at his adviser's desk again.]
:But put me down as "Undecided" - every major's terrible.
::[Adviser has his hand to his mouth as if gasping.]

:Astronomers all cringe when they hear "Supermoon" or "Zodiac".
::[Image of an astrologer espousing theories.]
:Agronomy's a no-go; I'm a huge agorophobiac.
::[Silhouette of Cueball, agitated, in an open field near a fence and a tractor.]
:I'm too ophiophobic to consider Herpetology,
::[Cueball looking aghast at a snake on the ground; the snake may have other ideas.]
::snake: ♥?
:And I can't stomach any part of Gastroenterology.
::[Anatomical image of a stomach.]
:While Pre-Med gives you twitchy-eyed obsession with your GPA,
::[A badly disheveled individual, glasses askew, clutching folders and papers and dropping several]
:<tt>a poetry degree bespeaks bewildering naïveté.</tt>
::[Ponytail reciting poetry; her poem is this panel's line, in a lighter, lower-case font.]
:TV's behind the rush into Forensic Criminology
::["CSI: Miami" logo.]
:(Or so claims Meta-academic Epidemiology).
::[Ponytail holding notebook, and balding individual wearing glasses and holding pipe, watch a wall-mounted flatscreen TV on which "CSI: Miami" logo is showing.]
:By dubbing Econ "dismal science" adherents exaggerate;
::[Cueball discoursing on his opinion here.]
:The "dismal"'s fine - it's "science" where they patently prevaricate.
::[Close-up on Cueball.]
:In terms of choices, I'd say only Sophie's was comparable.
::[Cueball at his adviser's desk once more.]
:Just put me down as "Undecided" - every major's terrible!
::[Cueball makes a final dramatic flair.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Songs]]

Talk:1363: xkcd Phone

2014-05-05T18:41:02Z

173.245.55.79: Submerge in water comment

This seems like an SCP artifact [[Special:Contributions/108.162.249.220|108.162.249.220]] 10:09, 4 May 2014 (UTC)

I really dislike the tone of the explanation. I mean it's so negative about the features! Not that they are all useful, but isn't this a wiki and should be neutral? It takes also the fun out of it. I would like a screaming while falling phone and the relativity thing would be great for teaching relativity! [[User:RecentlyChanged|RecentlyChanged]] ([[User talk:RecentlyChanged|talk]])

Where can i get one of these? :D [[User:UniTrader|UniTrader]] ([[User talk:UniTrader|talk]]) 04:11, 2 May 2014 (UTC)

I'm pretty sure the "scream when falling" thing and the "flightaware" stuff can be done somehow with Tasker. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.103.206|141.101.103.206]] 04:23, 2 May 2014 (UTC)

;Designer?

I suspect it was either Black Hat or Beret Guy, but I'm not sure which. A collaboration? [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.45|173.245.54.45]] 04:47, 2 May 2014 (UTC)

This sounds like something straight out of aperture. {{unsigned ip|108.162.221.55}}

;Simulates alternate speeds of light

Yes, useless as a feature on all the time; but it would be a cool app. [[User:Markhurd|Mark Hurd]] ([[User talk:Markhurd|talk]]) 05:57, 2 May 2014 (UTC)
:Absolutely. Where can I get an app like that?[[Special:Contributions/108.162.225.157|108.162.225.157]] 06:22, 2 May 2014 (UTC)

Travelling at above the simulated speed of light should give an imaginary time dilation, not a negative time dilation.
gamma = 1/sqrt{1-v^2/c^2}
Thus, after such travel, the value of the clock would be a complex number. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.35|108.162.219.35]] 15:42, 2 May 2014 (UTC)

'''Changed the speed of light to 2.99x10^8'''
:You guys should probably clarify that the relativisic affects actually depend on how long your trip is or how long you wait to sync your phone. For relativity to be observable on a 12 hour trip, Minimum speed for a phone would have to be 300 m/s or 3000 m/s for the clock to measure even a microsecond/millisecond difference in time. This is well known thanks to the certain [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_dilation#Velocity_and_gravitational_time_dilation_combined-effect_tests time dilation experiments with planes]. Your GPS chip helps account for an error of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Error_analysis_for_the_Global_Positioning_System#Relativity 7 to 47 microseconds per day]. My point is in terms of time dilation, relativity mattering depends on how long a trip or waiting for synchronization is. By synching, I literally mean with the atomic time clock or with a GPS satellite. The synchronization of your phone with satellites is actually a couple of hundred microseconds, so normally even a light changing clock might not have as noticable changes as you might think. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.238.225|108.162.238.225]] 13:49, 2 May 2014 (UTC) --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.238.225|108.162.238.225]] 13:49, 2 May 2014 (UTC)
Yeah sorry forgot to login. does anyone know how to do the indices formatting other than eg 2.99x10(littlex) rather then 2.99x10^x? [[User:Jonv4n|Jonv4n]] ([[User talk:Jonv4n|talk]]) 06:29, 2 May 2014 (UTC)
: Whas<sup>sup</sup>? [[Special:Contributions/141.101.89.220|141.101.89.220]] 07:43, 2 May 2014 (UTC)

; relativistic effect
Forgive me if I'm wrong, I'm not a physicist but the above explanation says that relativistic time dilation affects only occur at a significant fraction of the speed of light. It is my understanding that time dilation occurs at any speed, but is only perceptible/noticeable/measurable at very large fraction of the speed of light. Unless I'm mistaken the above it should reflect this. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.56.91|173.245.56.91]] 22:24, 2 May 2014 (UTC)

; putting "Relative" back into relativity
First time poster, please forgive my transgressions :)
My understanding regarding relativistic effects is that, for a given frame of reference (e.g. phone operator travelling at 0.9c) would be absolutely none. Relativistic effects (as I understand them) would only apply between two different frames of reference. The only effect I can see in this case is if you are moving towards, or away from the phone while operating, and red/blue shift of the radio frequencies. In general, wifi and bluetooth are used locally so wouldn't apply; only the phone network would be affected.

Also, perhaps the adjustable speed of light is a reference to the the game "A slower speed of light" by MIT Game Lab http://gamelab.mit.edu/games/a-slower-speed-of-light/ (in which you walk around collecting objects; each object slows light down, and increases relativistic effects).
[[User:Jaybee|Jaybee]] ([[User talk:Jaybee|talk]])

'''Phone may attract/trap insects; this is normal.'''
Funnier if you take it as a reference to the [http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2014/04/07/mazda_issues_recall_because_spiders_invade_fuel_tank_causing_fire_risk.html spider problems] Mazda keeps on having... {{unsigned ip|108.162.215.64}}

About the attracting insects ... I would expect this to be normal feature in night. Trapping, however ... -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 09:08, 2 May 2014 (UTC)
: There are other indications that the phone is at least partly biological, this being the strongest evidence of that. Insects could be the power source for the biological part(s). [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.45|173.245.54.45]] 14:07, 2 May 2014 (UTC)

'''Siri'''

Could the Siri bit be a reference to Portal? When I first read it, I remembered this GLaDOS quote: "Your Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you, and in fact cannot speak. If your Weighted Companion Cube does speak, please disregard its advice." Could be completely wrong; just a thought. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.51|173.245.54.51]] 10:09, 2 May 2014 (UTC)
:Perhaps Siri is beling likened to the "ATMOS" device in the Doctor Who episode "The Sontaran Stratagem" [[User:Esp666|Esp666]] ([[User talk:Esp666|talk]]) 11:20, 2 May 2014 (UTC)

Lamest. Comic. Ever. And I'm not just saying that because he doesn't mention the Ubuntu Touch OS. ''– [[User:Tbc|tbc]] ([[User talk:Tbc|talk]]) 12:22, 2 May 2014 (UTC)''

'''Realistic case'''

Car telephones and the first cellphones were rather expensive, at least in Germany fake "realistic cases" were sold without any working electronics in it. Usage was to impress silly friends. {{unsigned ip|173.245.52.204}}

I thought this was aimed at the iPhone. Apparently these have an elegant case, but I have never actually seen one. Everyone I know covers their iPhone with some hideous plastic monstrosity, since the design is not practical.--[[Special:Contributions/108.162.218.59|108.162.218.59]] 14:10, 2 May 2014 (UTC)

Could possibly be a reference to the "Realistic" brand, which was used on various products sold by Radio Shack (U.S. electronics retail chain) from 1954 to some time in the '90s.[[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.76|108.162.219.76]] 16:14, 2 May 2014 (UTC)

'''Screaming when in free fall: my first Android app!'''

I love the bit about screaming when in free fall: that was the first Android app I hacked together back in 2009 (based on the tricorder app). [[User:Nealmcb|Nealmcb]] ([[User talk:Nealmcb|talk]]) 13:49, 2 May 2014 (UTC)

'''Title Text'''

Hover-over title text was truncated; love it.
14:43, 2 May 2014 (UTC)[[User:Pocono Chuck|Pocono Chuck]] ([[User talk:Pocono Chuck|talk]])
: you must have an really old firefox browser -- you should update !!! [[Special:Contributions/199.27.130.210|199.27.130.210]] 16:23, 2 May 2014 (UTC)
:: Happened to me. Using whatever the latest IE is at the moment. It cut off at nause-. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.54|173.245.54.54]] 17:13, 3 May 2014 (UTC)

'''Price includes 2-year Knicks contract.''' ... but a contract with the Knicks would only appeal to pro basketball players.

Nonsense. Lots of "regular" folks would buy this phone it it meant they got to play in the NBA. [[Special:Contributions/199.27.128.84|199.27.128.84]] 16:26, 2 May 2014 (UTC)

: I agree with this. A whole lot of people who think they have "skillz" would buy the phone if they got into the NBA. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.54|173.245.54.54]] 17:14, 3 May 2014 (UTC)

This may also be an indirect way of stating that it is incredibly expensive, seeing as those sort of contracts usually involve ''you'' getting compensated. --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.33|108.162.216.33]] 13:41, 3 May 2014 (UTC)

"Your mobile world just went digital" is an inversion of the marketing-speak that was common when what we'd now regard as smartphones first began to be adopted by the mainstream (iPhone/G1 era, since Symbians, Blackberries, and early WinMo tended to be business or enthusiast devices). People already ubiquitously e-mailed, browsed the Web, etc...what was presented as 'new' was that you could now do it from your phone. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.58|173.245.54.58]] 19:09, 2 May 2014 (UTC)

I think the "Under certain circumstances, wireless transmitter may control God" statement might be a reference to how transmitting devices have to comply with FCC regulation and not interfere with aircraft or government communications. Perhaps this phone is intended to be noncompliant so as to control high-level electronics, even at supernatural levels. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.56.66|173.245.56.66]] 21:11, 2 May 2014 (UTC)Dbrak

'''Frictionless'''

You could hold a frictionless phone just by hooking your little finger under the bottom edge, regardless of friction gravity will hold it into your hand. Just like you could leave it in a bowl without it jumping out. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.229.72|108.162.229.72]] 19:12, 2 May 2014 (UTC)

Unless you held your pinky perfectly balanced, horizontal and motionless, a frictionless object would slide right off it, as it would off any flat surface that is not perfectly horizontal.
14:13, 3 May 2014 (UTC) [[Special:Contributions/108.162.242.4|108.162.242.4]] 13:15, 3 May 2014 (UTC)DCollins

Wouldn't you be able to hold it somewhat like a normal phone, if you hold a finger under the bottom of it? [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.54|173.245.54.54]] 17:08, 3 May 2014 (UTC)

Saying a frictionless phone can't be held is like saying prisoners would slide out of prisons if they had frictionless surfaces. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.237.218|108.162.237.218]] 14:50, 4 May 2014 (UTC)

;Why the hell this funny phone isn't available at the xkcd store?
I would buy if the price would be in the range of other articles there. Just for fun...--[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 19:30, 2 May 2014 (UTC)

'''Root needed'''

I think that needing root for ajust the volume may be a allusion people needing to root Android to change fonts or to take screenshots (untill version 4.x). [[User:FlavianusEP|FlavianusEP]] ([[User talk:FlavianusEP|talk]]) 23:04, 2 May 2014 (UTC)

'''Alternative meaning: The spirit of xkcd'''

I think there's a secondary possible interpretation for this comic -- that the various features of the phone represent the overall "spirit" or "attitude" of xkcd, in a way reminiscent of an early strip -- http://xkcd.com/207/ -- about "what xkcd means." More specifically, a common theme in xkcd is taking advanced concepts in science and technology, and applying them to whimsical, humorous, impractical, or outright impossible uses. Several of phone's features -- such as the simulated speed of light -- touch on the same theme. Wordplay, another common xkcd theme, is present as well; and the anthropomorphism of technology, along with making devices appear 'cute', is also present, and also is something that has come up in xkcd many times in the past.

The comic is called "xkcd Phone", after all -- I think simultaneously with being a parody of phone advertisements, the comic is also meant to show us what a phone that fits into the xkcd world would be like. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.241.114|108.162.241.114]] 17:52, 3 May 2014 (UTC)

'''Blowing out candles....'''

For the birthday candles thing: I do remember seeing a video ad for an app back when the iphone was first opened up to outside developers that would turn the phone into a fan, and it demonstrated that it was strong enough to blow out a birthday candle. Seemed quite useless at the time. Still does today for that matter {{unsigned ip|108.162.215.47}}

'''Side-facing camera'''

I thought the joke here was that the camera ''only'' contained a side-facing camera rather than a side camera in addition to a front and back camera. While you can see the camera on the side, you don't see a camera on the front and they don't talk about a rear camera. It'd be pretty annoying to use a side-facing camera for anything but the surreptitious case you described. [[User:S|S]] ([[User talk:S|talk]]) 16:58, 4 May 2014 (UTC)

'''Do not submerge in water'''

I assumed this was also referencing the 4chan, etc pranks with the waterproof iPhone [[Special:Contributions/173.245.55.79|173.245.55.79]] 18:41, 5 May 2014 (UTC)

1342: Ancient Stars

2014-03-14T11:42:15Z

173.245.55.79:

{{comic
| number = 1342
| date = March 14, 2014
| title = Ancient Stars
| image = ancient_stars.png
| titletext = 'The light from those millions of stars you see is probably many thousands of years old' is a rare example of laypeople substantially OVERestimating astronomical numbers.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Title-text could use some extra explanation.}}
Cueball is making a common observation; many of the visible stars in the sky are so distant that it takes thousands years for light from that star to reach Earth. Unfortunately, the brightest star, Sirius, also happens to be one of the nearest at a mere 8.6 light-years (in other words, the light that was arriving from Sirius in 2014, when the comic was posted, was emitted some time around August 2005). The previous US president, George W. Bush, was in office from 2000 to 2008; as Megan notes, this isn't terribly impressive.

The title-text references the fact that most normal people have a hard time imagining the large scale of astronomical numbers (for example, the distance between astronomical bodies or the size of a sun); they typically imagine them as many orders of magnitude smaller than they actually are. In this case, however, they instead overestimate both the number of stars and their distance by quite a bit. (It's frequently cited that about 5,000 - 10,000 stars are visible by the naked eye. - e.g. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apparent_magnitude wikipedia] claims that there are 9,096 stars of apparent magnitude greater than 6.5, and to see those you need pretty good eyes and a very dark night.)

==Transcript==
:[Cueball pointing up into the night sky.]
:Cueball: Just think - the light from that star was emitted thousands of years ago. It could be long gone.
:Megan: That's Sirius. It's eight light-years away.
:Cueball: Oh.
:Cueball: Just think - the light from that star was emitted in the previous presidential administration.
:Megan: Mmm, doesn't pack quite the punch.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]