explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

887: Future Timeline

2013-09-20T21:38:31Z

24.5.192.232: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 887
| date = April 18, 2011
| title = Future Timeline
| image = future timeline.png
| titletext = Not shown: the approximately 30,000 identical, vaguely hysterical articles titled "WHITE PEOPLE IN [THE US/BRITAIN] TO BECOME MINORITY BY [YEAR]!", which came up for basically any year I put in.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete}}
This comic uses the same strategy as comic [[715: Numbers]], in which Randall uses Google to search for phrases and then charts the results. This one is charted as a timeline, whereas 715 was charted as line graphs.

"2101 - War Was Beginning" is a reference to the opening narration of video game ''Zero Wing''; the same narration is famous for the internet meme "All your base are belong to us". As there are not any other out and out references in the comic, and the rest are actually results that you can find if you search using Randall's methods, we're pretty sure "War Was Beginning" came up when he googled 2101 as well.

==Transcript==
:<big>'''THE FUTURE'''</big>
:'''According to Google search results'''
:Events for each year determined by the first page of Google search results for the phrases:
:{|
|-
|"By <year>"
|"In year"
|-
|"By the year <year>"
|"In the year <year>"
|-
|"Will * by the year <year>"
|"Will * in the year <year>"
|-
|"In <year>, * will"
|"By <year>, * will"
|}

:{|
|-
|rowspan="4" width="50px" valign="top"|2012
|World population reaches 7 billion
|-
|Flying cars reach market
|-
|Canada cuts greenhouse emmissions to 6% below 1990 levels as per Kyoto
|-
|Apocalypse occurs
|-
|rowspan="4" valign="top"|2013
|National dept paid off through President Clinton's plans
|-
|Microchipping of all Americans begins
|-
|Homelessness ended in Massachusets
|-
|Health care reform law repealed
|-
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2014
|US leaves Afghanistan
|-
|GNU/Linux becomes dominant OS
|-
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2015
|New Horizons reaches Pluto
|-
|Health care law causes hyperinflation
|-
|192 UN member nations acheive millenium development goals:
*Extreme poverty and hunger eradicated
*Universal primary education implemented
*Women empowerd, gender equality reached
*Environmental stability ensured
|-
|rowspan="4" valign="top"|2016
|Baby boomers begin turning 65
|-
|Android takes 38% of the smartphone market
|-
|Android takes 45% of the smartphone market
|-
|Windows Phone overtakes iOS in smartphones
|-
|rowspan="5" valign="top"|2017
|China completes unmanned Lunar sample-return mission
|-
|Social security stops running surplus
|-
|US budget balanced
|-
|Newspapers become obsolete and die out
|-
|Cosmetic surgery doubles
|-
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2018
|Social security stops running surplus
|-
|Jesus returns to Earth
|-
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2019
|Social security stops running surplus
|-
|Every baby has genes mapped at birth
|-
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2020
|Solar power becomes cheaper than fossil fuels
|-
|Keyboards and Mice become obsolete
|-
|New Tappan Zee bridge constructed
|-
|rowspan="4" valign="top"|2021
|US dept reaches 97% of GDP
|-
|US unemployment falls to 2.8%
|-
|Restored caliphate unifies Middle East
|-
|Lake Mead evaporates
|-
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2022
|Kilimanjaro snow-free
|-
|HTML 5 finished
|-
|Newspapers become obsolete and die out
|-
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2023
|Jesus returns to Earth (again)
|-
|US dept passes 100% of GDP
|-
|All unprotected ancient forrests gone from Pacific northwest
|-
|rowspan="5" valign="top"|2024
|Atlantis begins to reappear
|-
|Orangutans extinct in wild
|-
|China lands men and women on the moon
|-
|NASA sets up permanent moon base
|-
|Female professionals pass males in pay
|-
|rowspan="4" valign="top"|2025
|World population reaches 8 billion
|-
|Two billion people face water shortages
|-
|62 MPG cars introduced
|-
|US power fades
|-
|rowspan="5" valign="top"|2026
|Atlantis emerges completely
|-
|Rock Bands die out
|-
|US dept paid of
|-
|Car accidents cease
|-
|West coast falls into ocean
|-
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2027
|Japan introduces new fastest Maglev Train
|-
|Lyndon Larouche-Planed Mars colony is established
|-
|Social security stops running surplus
|-
|rowspan="4" valign="top"|2028
|Tobacco outlawed
|-
|40% of coral reefs gone
|-
|US dept paid of
|-
|Secial security stops running surplus
|-
|rowspan="4" valign="top"|2029
|Social security trust fund exhausted
|-
|Computers pass the turning test
|-
|Aging reversed
|-
|Wikipedia reaches 30 Million articles
|-
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2030
|Half of Amazon Rain Forest lost to logging
|-
|Cancer deaths double from 2008 levels
|-
|Arctic ice-free in summer
|-
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2031
|Computers controlled by thought
|-
|Realtors replaced by technology
|-
|Social security trust fund exhausted
|-
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2032
|"Big One" hits San Francisco
|-
|US elects first married lesbian President
|-
|Entire world converted to christianity
|-
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2033
|Kilimanjaro ice disappears
|-
|India becomes superpower
|-
|Europe reaches Mars
|-
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2034
|US diabetes cases double, treatment costs triple
|-
|US builds autonomous robot army
|-
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2035
|80% of America's energy comes from renewable sources
|-
|Himalayan glaciers down 80% in size
|-
|Arctic sea lane opens
|-
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2036
|80% of US has access to high-speed rail
|-
|Asteroid Apophis misses/hits Earth
|-
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2037
|Arctic ice-free in September
|-
|Social security trust fund exhausted
|-
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2038
|32-Bit timestamps roll over, causing Y2K-level chaos
|-
|"Big One" hits California
|-
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2039
|US population hits 400 Million
|-
|Severe heat waves become commonplace
|-
|Scientology becomes majority relegion in US
|-
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2040
|Arctic summers ice-free
|-
|Nanotechnology makes humans immortal
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2041
|Social security trust fund exhausted
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2042
|
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2043
|World population passes 9 Billion
|-
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2044
|Mankind genetically engineered to be happy
|-
|Childhood obesity reaches 100%
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2045
|Humans and machines merge
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2046
|World's natural resources depleted
|-
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2047
|World ruled by banks and corporations
|-
|Tobacco industry fails
|-
|US begins using autonomous attack drones
|-
|rowspan="4" valign="top"|2048
|Salt-water fish extinct from overfishing
|-
|Unisex bathing suits cover body from shoulder to ankle
|-
|Entire US population overweight
|-
|US begins using autonomous attack drones
|-
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2049
|$1.000 computer exceeds computational ability of humanity
|-
|Singularity occurs
|-
|Fishing industry collapses
|-
|rowspan="5" valign="top"|2050
|80% of Earth's population lives in urban centers
|-
|China controlls space
|-
|Sex with robots possible
|-
|Cars banned from european cities
|-
|One Million species extinct from climate change
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2051
|Atmosphere escapes into space
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2052
|Medicare, medicaid, and social security spending exceed total US revenue
|-
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2053
|US budget balanced
|-
|Majority od Americans in prison
|-
|Cars driven by dogs
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2054
|Hunger becomes unimaginable global problem
|-
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2055
|Atmospheric CO2 doubled
|-
|Oil runs out
|-
|Copper, tin, lead, gold, and nickel all exhausted
|-
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2056
|RFID-Tagged dreverless cars
|-
|Robots given same rights as humans
|-
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2057
|150 Japanese settlers on Mars
|-
|Colorado river runs dry
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2058
|Smoking ends in New Zealand
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2059
|Humans have domesticated robots
|-
|rowspan="4" valign="top"|2060
|Human race lives in peace
|-
|Extreme droughts across much of Earth
|-
|Global temperature rises 4°C
|-
|Oil runs out again
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2061
|Halley's comet returns
|-
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2062
|Uganda hosts World Cup
|-
|The Jetsons
|-
|rowspan="4" valign="top"|2063
|First human clones reach adulthood
|-
|Population of Moon reaches 100,000
|-
|Population of Mars reaches 10,000
|-
|Spacecraft exceed speed of light
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2064
|Clean air act finishesh reducing haze in national parks to natural levels
|-
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2065
|Last corpal reef die out
|-
|Chernobyl cleanup complete
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2066
|Cyprus achieves it's goal
|-
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2067
|Americans live in domed cities and watch 3D TV
|-
|Readheads go extinct
|-
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2068
|Ozone hole over antarctic finishes recovering
|-
|Lord Jesus rules Earth from Throne in Jerusalem
|-
|Entire world population gay due to chemicals in the water
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2069
|Public masturbation legalized
|-
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2070
|World population peaks
|-
|City-Scale flooding desasters
|-
|60% of world's energy comes from renewable sources
|-
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2071
|Europe's temperatures rise by 3°C
|-
|World summer temperatures rise by 5°C
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2072
|US retirement age is set to 75
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2073
|Oceans do not rise one foot
|-
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2074
|Number of 100-year-olds reaches one Million
|-
|Supertyphoons hit Japan
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2075
|US retirement age is set to 69
|-
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2076
|Average scientific paper has more than 24 authors
|-
|Social secutity trust fund exhausted
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2077
|
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2078
|Newspapers become obsolate and die out
|-
|rowspan="4" valign="top"|2079
|US debt reaches 716% of GDP
|-
|Lodgepole pines disappear from north-west
|-
|Floods commonplace
|-
|Religion marginalized
|-
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2080
|Federal spending reaches 70% of GDP
|-
|UK population doubles
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2081
|
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2082
|World population declines to one Billion
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2083
|
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2084
|Robot policemen introduced
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2085
|US deficit reaches 62% of GDP
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2086
|
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2087
|
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2088
|Japan becomes all-robot country
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2089
|World halts fossil fuel use
|-
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2090
|Global warming hits 7°C
|-
|Global warming hits 4°C
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2091
|
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2092
|
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2093
|
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2094
|
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2095
|
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2096
|
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2097
|
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2098
|
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2099
|
|-
|rowspan="11" valign="top"|2100
|Global warming around 5-7°C
|-
|Sea levels have risen by a meter or more
|-
|Joshua Trees nearly extinct
|-
|Earth's climate resembles that of the cretaceous
|-
|Germany tropical
|-
|Emperor Penguins extinct
|-
|Arctic permafrost thaws
|-
|Rising seas flood coastal cities
|-
|Rain forests mostly gone due to climatic shifsts
|-
|All coral reefs gone
|-
|Gilette intrduces 14-bladed razor
|-
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2101
|WAR WAS BEGINNING
|}

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Charts]]

370: Redwall

2013-09-03T19:36:24Z

24.5.192.232:

{{comic
| number = 370
| date = January 14, 2008
| title = Redwall
| image = Redwall.png
| titletext = My Redwall/Jurassic Park crossover fanfic is almost complete!
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Reads like a transcript in some places.}}
This comic references {{w|Brian Jacques|Brian Jacques'}} series of books, {{w|Redwall}}.

The first panel shows the similarity between the story of Martin the Warrior (from the book {{w|Mossflower}}) and {{w|Aragorn}} from {{w|The Lord of the Rings}} by {{w|J. R. R. Tolkien}}.

The second panel mentions the fact that {{w|Redwall}} mentions the name of {{w|Satan}} 4 times while it never mentions {{w|God}} or {{w|Jesus}}. Randall then points out that people who protest against {{w|Harry Potter}} because of the series witchcraft and mentions of Satan, should take note that {{w|Redwall}} also mentions {{w|Satan}} although it has little to none negative feedback from more conservative readers.

In the third panel, Randall comments on {{w|Redwall|Redwall's}} often used theme of critical messages being left in riddles throughout the Abbey for the occupants to find when they are in need. Randall suggests that he would use {{w|Pretty Good Privacy|PGP encryption}} to hide the messages, instead of the elaborate riddles used in the books.

In the title text Randall jokes that he is making a crossover {{w|Fan Fiction}} with Redwall and Jurassic Park.

==Transcript==
:Notes from reading Redwall books for the first time since childhood.
:Some of this feels familiar.
:Aragorn: Hi, I'm Aragorn.
:Martin: I'm Martin.
:Aragorn and Martin: I'm here to reforge my broken sword so I can lead an army against the tyrant threatening my people. I live in a world of moral absolutes and racist undertones.
:Martin: Jinx!
:It startled me when characters mentioned Satan.
:Redwall: "By Satan's whiskers..."
:Redwall mentions God, Jesus 0 times.
:Redwall mentions Satan, The Devil 4 times.
:Harry Potter protesters, take note.
:Even as a kid this bothered me: Why does everyone leave critical secret messages as simple riddles? It's silly to assume the intended recipient will be the only one to find and solve them. I would do things differently.
:Mouse: The inscription is a message from Martin!
:Old Mouse: What does it say?
:Mouse: Hang on, it's encrypted with my public key.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Charts]]

359: Rock Band

2013-09-03T19:15:21Z

24.5.192.232:

{{comic
| number = 359
| date = December 19, 2007
| title = Rock Band
| image = rock_band.png‎
| titletext = I'm gonna have to add something to the strum bar so it makes a clicky sound like the old controllers. I'm so used to the feedback; the silence throws me off.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is aggravated because while he thinks that playing {{w|Rock Band (video game)|Rock Band}} isn't cool and hence shouldn't be fun, the people playing Rock Band are having fun and he's obviously not.

The title text is a comment on heuristic feedback, comparing the guitar controllers of {{w|Guitar Hero (video game)|Guitar Hero}}, which make a clicking sound when the user strums, with those of Rock Band, which do not click.

==Transcript==
:[3 people are playing Rock Band. Cueball with arms crossed is looking at them.]
:Cueball: You know, playing this doesn't make you cool like a real rock band.
:Cueball: Guys?
:Cueball: Didn't you hear me?
:Cueball: Stop having fun!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Video games]]

167: Nihilism

2013-08-18T08:16:28Z

24.5.192.232:

{{comic
| number = 167
| date = October 6, 2006
| title = Nihilism
| image = nihilism.png
| titletext = Why can't you have normal existential angst like all the other boys?
}}

==Explanation==
It is argued by some that atheism leads to nihilism. One rebuttal would be to reject the premise that there is no purpose outside of fulfilling divine intention, but Randall instead rejects the premise that nihilism ought to be burdensome. As a result, Beret Guy resolves that, if everything is ultimately meaningless, then it would be more fun to spend one's meaningless existence having fun rather than than constantly moping. As reinforced by the title text, the complete lack of angst on the Beret Guy's part is off-putting to the other nihilists.

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy and Cueball approach a tree while talking.]
:Cueball: There is no God. Our existence is without purpose.
:Beret Guy: Oh, definitely.
:Beret Guy: We are adrift in an uncaring void indifferent to all our mortal toil.
:Cueball: Exactly! In the end, nothing we do matters.
:[Beret Guy climbs the tree.]
:Beret Guy: Totally.
:Cueball: We just... Why are you climbing that tree?
:[Beret Guy is now completely submerged in the tree.]
:Beret Guy: Because the future is an adventure! Come on!
:Cueball: But--
:Beret Guy: Hey! I found ''squirrels''!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]
[[Category:Religion]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

663: Sagan-Man

2013-08-18T06:21:33Z

24.5.192.232:

{{comic
| number = 663
| date = November 16, 2009
| title = Sagan-Man
| image = sagan-man.png
| titletext = They laugh now, but within 10 years the city's entire criminal class will have quit to work on space research.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Carl Sagan}} was an advocate for science, space and {{w|SETI}} (Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence). He wrote the book ''Contact'', which was later made into the movie by the same name. While Sagan did not emit anomalous radiation in his lifetime, he did receive acclaim in the field of radiology, namely for using radiation to synthesize amino acids from simpler chemicals.

This comic is parodying {{w|Spider-Man}}, in which Peter Parker is bitten by a radioactive spider to become Spider-Man. In this comic "a radioactive Carl Sagan" turns the person into "Sagan-Man". Apparently, Sagan-Man is able to stop thieves in their tracks by blowing their minds with scientific facts.

==Transcript==
:[Bitten by a radioactive Carl Sagan in 1995, Sagan-Man possesses the powers and abilities of Carl Sagan.]
:Victim, off-panel: Help! Thief!
:[Sagan-Man spins around. A blue cape appears on his back.]
:[Sagan-Man runs towards the direction of the shout.]
:[He encounters the thief, holding a purse.]
:Sagan-Man: Hey, you!
:Thief: What?
:Sagan-Man: Do you realize just how crazy it is that we’ve ''BEEN TO THE MOON?''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]

478: The Staple Madness

2013-08-06T22:26:30Z

24.5.192.232:

{{comic
| number = 478
| date = September 19, 2008
| title = The Staple Madness
| image = the_staple_madness.png
| titletext = Staple guns: because duct tape can't make that 'kaCHUNK' noise.
}}

==Explanation==
No apparent literary or scientific references, this is just a comic sketch.

Optimistic [[Beret Guy]] can never take life seriously. He loves to play with everything, and nothing is more exciting than a tool that sticks things together with an impressive "kaChunk" sound when he pulls the trigger, even on things that shouldn't be stapled.

The title text refers to duct tape, which, with its combination of tensile and adhesive strength, is commonly regarded as the ultimate do-it-yourself repair tool.
==Transcript==
:Beret Guy: I found Megan's staple gun!
:[He holds up a staple gun.]
:Cueball: [holding forehead] Oh no.
:Cueball: [outside of the panel] OH GOD WHAT ARE YOU--
:Beret Guy: [kneeling at laptop, stapling DVD to laptop] INSTALLING DEBIAN! ''KA CHUNK''
:Beret Guy: SANDWICHES! ''ka CHUNK ka CHUNK''
:Beret Guy: [running with staple gun] MUST AFFIX EVERYTHING TO EVERYTHING!
:''ka CHUNK ka CHUNK ka CHUNK ka CHUNK ka CHUNK ka CHUNK''
:[Megan enters holding tote bag]
:Megan: ...Have you been abusing my staple gun?
:Beret Guy: No.
:God: [outside of scene, as voice from above] YES!

==Trivia==
*There is an engineering truism which describes a similar scenario: "When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail."

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

478: The Staple Madness

2013-08-06T22:26:06Z

24.5.192.232:

{{comic
| number = 478
| date = September 19, 2008
| title = The Staple Madness
| image = the_staple_madness.png
| titletext = Staple guns: because duct tape can't make that 'kaCHUNK' noise.
}}

==Explanation==
No apparent literary or scientific references, this is just a comic sketch.

Optimistic [[Beret Guy]] can never take life seriously. He loves to play with everything, and nothing is more exciting than a tool that sticks things together with an impressive "kaChunk" sound when he pulls the trigger, even on things that shouldn't be stapled.

The title text refers to duct tape, which, with its combination of tensile and adhesive strength, is commonly regarded as the ultimate do-it-yourself repair tool.
Transcript==
:Beret Guy: I found Megan's staple gun!
:[He holds up a staple gun.]
:Cueball: [holding forehead] Oh no.
:Cueball: [outside of the panel] OH GOD WHAT ARE YOU--
:Beret Guy: [kneeling at laptop, stapling DVD to laptop] INSTALLING DEBIAN! ''KA CHUNK''
:Beret Guy: SANDWICHES! ''ka CHUNK ka CHUNK''
:Beret Guy: [running with staple gun] MUST AFFIX EVERYTHING TO EVERYTHING!
:''ka CHUNK ka CHUNK ka CHUNK ka CHUNK ka CHUNK ka CHUNK''
:[Megan enters holding tote bag]
:Megan: ...Have you been abusing my staple gun?
:Beret Guy: No.
:God: [outside of scene, as voice from above] YES!

==Trivia==
*There is an engineering truism which describes a similar scenario: "When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail."

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

1063: Kill Hitler

2013-07-24T07:33:01Z

24.5.192.232:

{{comic
| number = 1063
| date = June 1, 2012
| title = Kill Hitler
| image = kill_hitler.png
| titletext = Revised directive: It is forbidden for you to interfere with human history until you've at least taken a class on it.
}}

== Explanation ==
In this comic, [[Black Hat]] creates a one use time machine. [[Cueball]] selects the most common suggestion for Time Machine usage: killing Adolf Hitler. Black Hat finally relents and goes to kill Hitler. However, he goes to April 30th, 1945, when Hitler actually died in real life, therefore not changing any history or avoiding any of the atrocities carried out by Nazi Germany. The image text also references the time travel theme from the Superman movie in which Jor-El states: "It is forbidden for you to interfere with human history".
== Transcript ==
:[Black Hat and Cueball stand in front of a double door, which bears the label 'TIME door'. Black Hat has his hands on his hips.]
:Black Hat: I finished my time machine, but it's one-use only.
:Cueball: You ''gotta'' kill Hitler.

:[Close-up of Black Hat, one hand palm upward.]
:Black Hat: Why are you so obsessed with this Hitler guy? We have all of time we could explore!

:[Close-up of Cueball with both hands palm upward.]
:Cueball: He's evil incarnate! He murdered millions and sparked global war! Everyone agrees -- if you get a time machine, you kill Hitler.

:[Black Hat enters the now open Time door as the other man looks on..]
:Black Hat: Fine, fine, I get it! Calm down. -BRB, killing Hitler.

:[Black Hat returns and shuts the door, the other man has outstretched arms.]
:Black Hat: There. Done. Are you happy?
:Cueball: Thank you.
:Black Hat: He was in some kind of bunker. 1945 was loud!

:Cueball: NO!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Hitler]]

1066: Laundry

2013-07-24T07:31:29Z

24.5.192.232: College IS real life, hard as it is to believe

{{comic
| number = 1066
| date = June 8, 2012
| title = Laundry
| image = laundry.png
| titletext = During the second semester, the path is briefly routed through the dishwasher.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is all about college laundry habits and how as time goes by, you end up just throwing clothes on the floor and then wearing them again.

==Transcript==
:'''College Laundry Habits'''

:[Panel labeled "First Week". 5 ovals arranged in a rough circle, with a clockwise path connecting them: "Dresser & Closet", "On Body", "Hamper", "Washer & Dryer", "Folding Area" (and back to the first). The area outside the ovals is labeled "Floor."]

:[Panel labeled "Second Week". The path has been modified so that it does not go through "Folding Area" - only through the other 4 ovals.]

:[Panel labeled "Third Week". The path has been modified so that it does not go through "Dresser & Closet". Only "On Body", "Hamper", and "Washer & Dryer" remain.]

:[Panel labeled "Second Month". The path no longer passes through "Hamper" - only "On Body" and "Washer & Dryer".]

:[Panel labeled "End of Semester". The path no longer goes to "Washer & Dryer", instead just looping back around from "On Body" to "On Body" again after passing through the "Floor."]

{{comic discussion}}

1070: Words for Small Sets

2013-07-24T07:01:03Z

24.5.192.232:

{{comic
| number = 1070
| date = June 18, 2012
| title = Words for Small Sets
| image = words_for_small_sets.png
| titletext = If things are too quiet, try asking a couple of friends whether "a couple" should always mean "two". As with the question of how many spaces should go after a period, it can turn acrimonious surprisingly fast unless all three of them agree.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete}}
By strict definition, the noun "couple" means "exactly two items of the same kind". The comic/chart is satirizing how layman sometimes use the word "couple" synonymously with words like "few" or "several", which in this context mean "comparatively small but definitely greater than one". This satire is nerd [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=troll+bait troll bait]; [[Randall]] is attempting to "troll" or get a certain group of people fired up by taking an unpopular side of the argument just to get the other person angry.

==Transcript==
:[A small chart.]
:Just to clear things up:
:A few: anywhere from 2 to 5
:A handful: anywhere from 2 to 5
:Several: anywhere from 2 to 5
:A couple: 2 (but sometimes up to 5)

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Language]]

1073: Weekend

2013-07-24T06:39:11Z

24.5.192.232:

{{comic
| number = 1073
| date = June 25, 2012
| title = Weekend
| image = Weekend.png
| titletext = Of the two Garfields, you wouldn't think the cat would turn out to be the more compelling presidential speechwriter, but there you go.
}}

==Explanation==
No confirmation has yet been found that any of these words are references to something from former {{w|James Garfield|US President James Garfield}} or {{w|Garfield|Garfield the cartoon cat.}}[http://garfield.com] However, Garfield the cartoon cat has a bunch of different images emphasizing the greatness of the weekend and bemoaning the existence of the first day of the work week, Monday.

And of course, the comic was posted on a Monday, so the comic is timed to emphasize that.

In the first image, there is a reference to the Lover Boy song "[http://youtu.be/0-lH2nhC_R4 Everybodys Workin For the Weekend]". "We are all working for the weekend" is a reference to the title and lyrics in the Lover Boy song which indicate that "Everybody's working for the weekend."

When you actually stop and think about the speech, however, the argument turns into utter nonsense. Simply renaming every day on the Gregorian Calendar to "Saturday" doesn't actually do anything, and "the second Saturday of the week" would carry the ''exact'' same stigma as "Monday". Furthermore, if the speaker is proposing to abolish the work week entirely, the economy would collapse within twenty four hours.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball stands at a podium before a very large crowd.]
:Cueball: We all hate Mondays. We're all working for the weekend. But our chains exist only in our minds.

:[A shot of Cueball from the podium upwards, from a 34 angle. He raises one hand in explanation.]
:Cueball: Calendars are just social consensus. Nature doesn't know the day of the week.

:[Closer still, looking straight ahead.]
:Cueball: My friends-- we can make today Saturday.

:[Extreme close-up, negative colors.]
:Cueball: We can make it Saturday forever.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Psychology]]

635: Locke and Demosthenes

2013-07-24T04:20:33Z

24.5.192.232:

{{comic
| number = 635
| date = September 11, 2009 
| title = Locke and Demosthenes
| image = locke_and_demosthenes.png
| imagesize =
| titletext = Dear Peter Wiggin: This letter is to inform you that you have received enough up votes on your reddit comments to become president of the world. Please be at the UN tomorrow at 8:00 sharp.}}

==Explanation==
This is from {{w|Ender's Game}}, by {{w|Orson Scott Card}}. Ender is an above-average-intelligence boy who is selected to become a potential leader of Earth's "Defense" Forces in the event of another {{w|Formics|Bugger}} (For those wondering about the Wikipedia link, in future books the Buggers are renamed to the Formics to be more politically correct, and to also not have an English swear word as the name of a race) invasion. Meanwhile, Ender's two older siblings, Peter and Valentine decide to save the world from itself. They do this by asserting themselves as wise demagogues who comment on political events on what are known as the "free nets" which are nets open to comment by anyone in the world. They choose pseudonyms to write under, as no one would take the words of children seriously, they choose Locke (Peter's pseudonym), and Demosthenes (Valentine's) and begin work. Eventually they gain enough respect to be invited to participate in moderated political debates in the higher class nets. By the end of the book, Peter has become the leader of the world, as Valentine runs away to the former Bugger homeworld with Ender to live out their lives in peace.

The whole thing is eerily reminiscent of what blogging has become, without the becoming-the-head-of-government outcome, obviously. [[Randall]] is suggesting that if the book was set with today's technology, Locke and Demosthenes would be getting extremely low exposure with their wordpress blogs as evidenced by the 0 comments on each post; the title text sarcastically invites Peter to be head of the UN. Also note that the sarcastic note is addressed to "Peter" rather than "Locke"; Peter's attempt to remain anonymous has failed miserably.

If you happen to be wondering about the squirrel, Peter Wiggin is portrayed as a sadistic sociopath. There is a scene in the book where Valentine stumbles across a skinned squirrel still twitching in pain.

==Transcript==
:[Valentine is laying on her back on the ground. Peter is feeding a squirrel.]
:Valentine: Ender's up there saving the world, but down here it's falling apart politically. What can we do?

:Peter: I know — we get on the nets and anonymously post political opinions. People reading our articles will see our intelligence, recognize how clear and logical our arguments are, and insist that we be put in charge, so we can fix everything!
:Valentine: Brilliant!
:[The squirrel is vomiting.]

:[A blog.]
:(Header.)
:LOCKE
:Powered by Wordpress

:(Articles, partly scrolled down.)
:[...] which is why we must reach out to the Russian leadership.
::Posted at 3:15AM by Locke
::Comments (0)

:(In a larger font)
:The Problem with China
:In recent months much has been made of [...]

:(In a sidebar)
:Recent posts:
:>> A few thoughts on...
::Comments (0)
:>> Russian Aggression...
::Comments (1)
:>> Trade policy and the...
::Comments (0)
:>> And one more thing...
::Comments (0)
:>> Everyone's wrong about...
::Comments (1)

:(A list of links to other websites.)
:Blogroll:
:>> Demosthenes
:>> FiveThirtyEight

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Ender's Game]]

241: Battle Room

2013-07-24T04:08:57Z

24.5.192.232:

{{comic
| number = 241
| date = March 28, 2007
| title = Battle Room
| image = battle_room.png
| titletext = Bean actually sabotaged it just to give Dink the excuse to make that joke.
}}

==Explanation==
The book {{w|Ender's Game}} by {{w|Orson Scott Card}} is about Ender Wiggin, a boy of above-average-intelligence which means he is recruited to be trained to be one of the commander's of Earth's "Defense" Fleet should the {{w|Formics|Buggers}} invade again (future books renamed the Buggers to the Formics, to be more politically correct, and also the British consider Bugger to be a swear word). Ender is taken to a space school called Battle School. At the center of Battle School is the Battle Room, that all the training revolves (literally and figuratively) around.

The Battle room is described as a hollow perfect cube. "Stars" (smaller cubes) can be pulled from the walls (without changing the shape, more stars come in to fill the space where the old one was) and can be used as obstacles in the Battle Room as they will remain absolutely stationary, no matter what force is exerted on them. There is no gravity in the Battle Room. Most squads entering the Battle Room keep their orientation from the hallway (gravity in the hallway dictates where "down" is in the Room). Ender realizes that because the room is a perfect cube, and that even the entrances, called "gates", are perfect squares and do not give any hint about which direction is up or down, that keeping that orientation is useless. He instructs his squad to orient so that the enemy's gate is down, a line of lateral thinking that gives his team three big advantages (smaller targets, "shielding" themselves with their own feet, and unprecedented angles of attack) and leads them to a perfect winning streak.

The joke here, however, is that the enemy's gate is "down", as in broken.

==Transcript==
:[A scene is depicted from the Battle Room of the novel Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card. The men are floating in a room with random cubes.]
:Dink: Sorry, Ender — seems like there were some system crashes. The battle's gotta be cut short.
:Ender: The lasers still work.
:Dink: Yeah, but the enemy's gate is down.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Ender's Game]]

245: Floor Tiles

2013-07-24T03:59:02Z

24.5.192.232:

{{comic
| number = 245
| date = April 6, 2007
| title = Floor Tiles
| image = floor_tiles.png
| titletext = The worst part is when sidewalk cracks are out-of-sync with your natural stride.
}}

==Explanation==
In this comic, [[Cueball]] is walking according to a certain pattern of floor tiles which makes sense to him in his head. But as someone asks him why he is walking funny, he realises that the algorithm he is using for walking on floor tiles would be so tedious and time-consuming to explain to his friend that he decides instead to simply defend himself and say that he isn't walking funny. Either that, or he is embarrassed to explain. This being far simpler than trying to show his friend exactly how his logic works - in his head, he imagines a complex diagram.

The title text refers to a common compulsion that leads people to place their feet either exactly between sidewalk cracks or directly on top of them while walking. Indeed, if the cracks are out of sync with one's natural stride, this will cause you to "walk funny" as you stumble to correct your foot placement.

==Transcript==
:[Two characters walk on a floor tiled in black and white.]
:Friend: Why are you walking funny?
:[Second panel consists of Cueball's thought cloud in which he points to an easel mounted diagram of the floor tile pattern.]
:Cueball, thinking: Well, my instinct is to step only on black tiles, but they're too far apart. So I'm letting myself walk on the tiles directly in line with the black ones, but that means that when we walk diagonally, I have to step in a pattern where...
:[Returns to situation in first panel.]
:Cueball: I'm not walking funny.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

637: Scribblenauts

2013-07-24T03:41:21Z

24.5.192.232: My interpretation is that Cueball ''doesn't'' appear inside the DS. I'm trying to leave the issue moderately vague in my edit

{{comic
| number =637
| date =September 16, 2009
| title =Scribblenauts
| image =scribblenauts.png
| titletext =Let me look away and type 'guy who's just jealous that I beat all his MarioKart times' and turn back, and ... yup, there you are again!
}}

==Explanation==
''{{w|Scribblenauts}}'' is a game for Nintendo DS in which the player controls a character named Maxwell, whose goal is to get a "Starite" in each level. The player has the ability to summon over 22,000 different objects into the game by typing them on the touchscreen using the DS's stylus device. Those items are then ostensibly used to help Maxwell collect the Starite (for example, typing "ladder" to help him reach a Starite that's inside a tree), but the player can decide to forgo the objective and just type in random things for fun.

The {{w|Large Hadron Collider}} is the world's largest and highest-energy particle accelerator, and has excited the imagination of writers and journalists in popular culture, some of whom posit the theory that a catastrophic accident at the LHC could destroy the world. One of those ideas concerned the LHC creating a black hole that would proceed to suck in all the surrounding matter.

Megan discovers that the LHC can be summoned in ''Scribblenauts,'' and has a fun time creating black holes with it. Cueball's snide comment is an unfortunately rather common reaction among adults towards entertainment geared for children, and the fact that ''Scribblenauts'' is a portable game just gives him another stick to beat it with. Irritated, Megan types in the phrase "pretentious asshole", and Cueball appears on the screen right there in front of her (or so she claims; in reality, ''Scribblenauts'' doesn't respond to profanity).

In the title-text, she types "guy who's just jealous that I beat all his ''{{w|Mario Kart}}'' times" and once again, Cueball appears on the screen. ''Mario Kart'' is another video-game series geared towards children, and there's a version of it for the DS, which implies that Cueball's just being snooty about ''Scribblenauts'' because Megan has so thoroughly dominated him in another "DS kids game".

==Transcript==
:[In Scribblenauts word input format.]
:LARGE HADRON COLLIDER
:''Click''
:Megan: Wow, Scribblenauts even lets you summon the LHC.

:[Cueball is sitting at a computer. Megan talks from off-panel.]
:''Fwoosh''
:Megan: And it makes a black hole! This game rules.
:Cueball: I guess it's okay, for a DS kids game.

:[In Scribblenauts word input format.]
:PRETENTIOUS ASSHOLE
:''Click''
:[Megan looks up.]
:Megan: Oh, hi! It worked!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Video games]]

640: Tornado Hunter

2013-07-24T03:34:25Z

24.5.192.232:

{{comic
| number = 640
| date = September 23, 2009
| title = Tornado Hunter
| image = tornado hunter.png
| titletext = The Fujita scale was replaced by the enhanced Fujita scale in 2007, but I think 'EF-5' sounds stupid, so I vote we just use the new measurements for assigning number but still call them 'F-whatever'.
}}

==Explanation==

This is a play on the occupations/hobbies "{{w|tornado chaser}}" -- someone who, instead of evacuating the area like normal people, actually goes in to get a closer look at the tornado -- and "{{w|big game hunter}}", who often kill for trophies. Tornado chasers are typically, but not always, {{w|meteorologists}}. The "F-3" is a reference to the {{w|Fujita scale}} used to classify tornado intensity. It goes from 1 to 5, with 5 being the highest, with an updated {{w|Enhanced Fujita scale}}, as mentioned in the title text, being used in the US since 2007.

==Transcript==
:[Two people are in a car, which is driving past a cactus. The passenger has a pith helmet and a mustache.]
:Cueball: The tornado's three miles west, moving northeast at 15 mph.
:Passenger: Go right; get ahead of it.

:[A tornado is visible. The passenger pulls out a gun, and stands up in the car.]
:Passenger: Okay, we're in range! Stop here!

:[The passenger fires a gun at the tornado.]
:''BANG''
:Tornado: AUGH!

:Passenger: Big one! Must be an F-3!
:Cueball: I'm not sure we're doing this right.
:Passenger: Help me mount it on the hood.
:[The passenger is holding the tornado by its tail.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

641: Free

2013-07-24T03:28:50Z

24.5.192.232:

{{comic
| number = 641
| date = September 25, 2009
| title = Free
| image = free.png
| titletext = Asbestos is bad; definitely get the one on the right. Wait -- this one over here has no swine flu! Now I can't decide.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Asbestos}} is a fibrous material most commonly used for its heat-resistant properties. It was commonly used in housing insulation until its astonishingly destructive effects on human lungs were known. The use of asbestos in housing is now banned, but it is still quite common in laboratory hot pads, as well as in concrete industrial buildings where the risk of it getting into the air is minimal.

The comic depicts a common advertising trick taken to an absurd extreme; quite clearly all of the cereal products depicted are asbestos-free, but most have opted not to advertise the fact because it should be obvious. A more realistic example can be found in various fruit- and vegetable-based foods that advertise themselves as "cholesterol-free," which is exactly what we would expect since cholesterol is only found in animals in nature.

Ironically, the "asbestos-free" disclaimer could also cause a customer to ''distrust'' the product on the grounds of "damning by faint praise" - if the best thing they can say about a product is that it doesn't contain a toxic building material, do we really want to know what actually ''is'' in this stuff?

The claim in the title-text - that the product has no {{w|swine flu}} - is equally superfluous, as any food product containing disease-causing viruses would be subject to recalls, severe fines, and quite a few people losing their jobs; the fact that the product is actually on a supermarket shelf implies that it has a stellar reputation for not causing serious illness. (Bacteria are another story, though - make sure to cook that chicken thoroughly, kids!)

==Transcript==
:[A shelf holds 3 boxes of cereal. Each box shows a bowl of cereal.]
:GenCo Oat Cereal
:StayPuft Oat Cereal
:RedFarm Oat Cereal (with additional text in a star) Asbestos-free!

:Narrator: I hate whatever marketer first realized you could do this.

{{comic discussion}}

653: So Bad It's Worse

2013-07-24T03:14:16Z

24.5.192.232:

{{comic
| number = 653
| date = October 23, 2009
| title = So Bad It's Worse
| image = so_bad_its_worse.png
| titletext = You think it's so legendarily bad that you'll torrent it and sit through it just for the kitschy nerd cred. I, too, once thought as you did.
}}

==Explanation==
The graph in the comic shows the enjoyability of movies - going from good to okay to bad, then popping back up with "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SoBadItsGood So Bad It's Good]". The term is used to describe movies that are so terrible that, for a variety of reasons, watching then can be considered an enjoyable experience. The comic lists ''{{w|Plan 9 from Outer Space}}'' and ''{{w|The Rocky Horror Picture Show}}'', two widely known films of this type.

However, the graph warns of showing ''The Star Wars Holiday Special'', as it manages to wrap back around from "So Bad It's Good" to being bad again. ''{{w|The Star Wars Holiday Special}}'' is a prime-time comedy special based on ''{{w|Star Wars}}''. It is widely known for its terrible quality, and has never been fully released (although an animated segment that introduced {{w|Boba Fett}}, which {{w|George Lucas}} has approved of, has been released as a bonus feature on a DVD).

The bottom of the comic shows [[Cueball]], [[Megan]], and [[Ponytail]] watching a movie with alcohol - first enjoying it, then merely watching, then unhappily drinking.

The title text refers to {{w|BitTorrent (protocol)|torrents}}, which are a way to obtain large amounts of data over the internet. According to [[Randall|Munroe]], he had torrented a copy of the film and then watched it, in spite of its terribleness, just to cement himself as a nerd. It should be noted that while it is impossible to view the ''Holiday Special'' otherwise, torrenting films this way is usually considered piracy and is thus illegal.

==Transcript==
:Protip: Even at "Bad Movie Night," avoid the Star Wars holiday special.

:[A graph plots movie enjoyability against movie quality. It drops steadily through points marked "Good Movie" to "Okay Movie" to "Bad Movie," rises up again for "So-Bad-It's-Good (Plan 9, Rocky Horror, etc)," and then drops off the bottom of a graph with an arrow pointing to where "Star Wars Holiday Special" would be. There are three mini-panels below the graph, arranged from "Good" to "Bad" along the movie quality axis.]

:[Three friends are on a couch, drinking and gesticulating enthusiastically.]
:[The same three are sitting quietly, with a bottle on the floor.]
:[The three are sitting around a table, drinking and looking miserable.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Protip]]

661: Two-Party System

2013-07-24T02:50:38Z

24.5.192.232:

{{comic
| number = 661
| date = November 11, 2009
| title = Two-Party System
| image = two_party_system.png
| imagesize =
| titletext = I favor approval voting or IRV chiefly because they mean we might get to bring back The Bull Moose party.
}}

==Explanation==
This girl is running for {{w|class president}}, but gets shouted down by Billy the Political Activist (or at least, he thinks he might become one some day). Someone on the Internet must have told Billy that all he has to know about politics is that America's two-party system is broken. Because we all know the problem with [http://cheezburger.com/4419432960 believing what you read on the Internet].

The United States uses {{w|Plurality voting}}, where each voter may make one vote per office. In most democratic countries, this system tends to reinforce the top two political parties and marginalize smaller ones, such as the {{w|Bull Moose Party}}, which only lasted from 1912 to 1916.

{{w|Approval voting}} (AV) and {{w|Instant-runoff voting}} (IRV) are alternative voting schemes that allow support for multiple candidates. Such systems might make it easier for 3rd parties to field viable candidates. AV is a simple extension of plurality voting where each voter "approves" as many of the candidates as they wish. The winner is the candidate with the most votes. Approval voting tends to favor moderate candidates with broad appeal. IRV is a form of {{w|Ranked voting systems|Ranked choice voting}} where a voter is allowed to select multiple choices, but must assign a rank or weight to each choice. If a candidate receives more than 50% of all 1st choice votes, they win as in a traditional election. If no candidate has a majority of 1st choice votes, the candidate with the fewest 1st choice votes is eliminated, and those 1st choice votes are replaced by their respective 2nd choice option and the resulting totals are compared for a 50%+ winner. This process is repeated until a winner is determined.

==Transcript==
:[A girl stands at a podium, giving a speech.]
:Girl: And if I'm elected, I'll try to fix some of these problems.
:Boy, off-panel: Yeah, right!

:[A boy in the audience is standing on his chair.]
:Boy: The REAL problem is the corporate-run two party system. Until we fix THAT, we'll have no real change!

:Girl: Billy, I'm running for class president. We don't even have political parties.
:Boy: That's because the two-party, uh ... estab ... uh.

:Girl: Billy, did you learn about politics from the internet?
:Boy: I thought that one reply was all I ever needed!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Politics]]

663: Sagan-Man

2013-07-24T02:46:08Z

24.5.192.232:

{{comic
| number = 663
| date = November 16, 2009
| title = Sagan-Man
| image = sagan-man.png
| titletext = They laugh now, but within 10 years the city's entire criminal class will have quit to work on space research.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Carl Sagan}} was an advocate for science, space and {{w|SETI}} (Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence). He wrote the book, Contact, which was later made into the movie by the same name. While Sagan did not emit anomalous radiation in his lifetime, he did receive acclaim for using radiation to synthesize amino acids from simpler chemicals.

This comic is parodying {{w|Spiderman}}, in which Peter Parker is bitten by a radioactive spider to become Spiderman. In this comic "a radioactive Carl Sagan" turns the person into "Sagan-Man". Apparently, Sagan-Man is able to stop thieves in their tracks by blowing their minds with scientific facts.

==Transcript==
:[Bitten by a radioactive Carl Sagan in 1995, Sagan-Man possesses the powers and abilities of Carl Sagan.]
:Victim, off-panel: Help! Thief!
:[Sagan-Man spins around. A blue cape appears on his back.]
:[Sagan-Man runs towards the direction of the shout.]
:[He encounters the thief, holding a purse.]
:Sagan-Man: Hey, you!
:Thief: What?
:Sagan-Man: Do you realize just how crazy it is that we’ve ''BEEN TO THE MOON?''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

1133: Up Goer Five

2013-07-24T00:17:43Z

24.5.192.232: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1133
| date = November 12, 2012
| title = Up Goer Five
| image = up goer five.png
| titletext = Another thing that is a bad problem is if you're flying up to space and the parts start to fall off your space car in the wrong order. If that happens, it means you won't go to space today, or maybe ever.
}}

==Explanation==
Most of the jargon used in rocket science is not among the most commonly used words in everyday life. This comic is a commentary on the absurdity of boiling down technical explanations for lay people, with Randall challenging himself to "translate" the blueprints using only the one thousand most commonly-used words in the English language.

This comic is a diagram of the {{w|Saturn V}} rocket, "Saturn" isn't a very common word apparently, and neither is rocket, so [[Randall]] decided to use "Up Goer" which is a fair approximation of a craft designed to lift a payload from the earth to space. The Saturn V vehicle, which was in use by {{w|NASA}} from 1967 to 1972, is the vehicle as a whole. The engines of the Saturn V (the part that makes it go up) were divided into three stages. The first stage ({{w|S-IC}}) had five {{w|F-1 (rocket engine)|F-1}} engines which burned {{w|RP-1|refined kerosene}} mixed with oxygen as its fuel. That stage burned for 2 minutes 48 seconds and pushed the whole thing up about 61 kilometers (~38 miles) into the sky. After it fell away the {{w|S-II}} stage was activated. It used 5 {{w|J-2 (rocket engine)|J-2}} engines in the same configuration as the F-1s, and burned {{w|liquid hydrogen}} mixed with {{w|liquid oxygen}} for 6 minutes 35 seconds pushing the astronauts up to 184 kilometers (114.5 miles). The third stage ({{w|S-IVB}}) was a single J-2 engine burning liquid hydrogen and liquid oxygen. This stage was used in two parts, the first was to put the spacecraft into a stable orbit around Earth to perform a systems check and make sure the craft will be safe for going to the moon. This would usually take three orbits around Earth. As they came around the Earth they would burn the second part of the fuel, which is called a {{w|trans-lunar injection}} which put them on course for the moon. The first burn took 2 minutes 45 seconds, which put them in orbit 185 kilometers (115 miles) high.

It was first used as the launch vehicle for the {{w|Apollo 4}} mission, and it was used as the launch vehicle for most of the subsequent {{w|Apollo mission}}s (the exceptions being Apollo 7, Skylab 2-4, and the Apollo-Soyuz Test Project missions, which were launched using the smaller {{w|Saturn IB}} launch vehicle). One of the last missions of this design was the unmanned launch of {{w|Skylab}}, the U.S.'s first space station; for this payloader configuration, the Saturn V launch vehicle was officially designated the {{w|Saturn INT-21}}.

The Service Module (SM) Oxygen tanks, have a note that "This part had a ''VERY'' big problem once". This is a reference to the {{w|Apollo 13}} mission. 55 hours after launch, mission control requested the oxygen tanks contents be stirred to get an accurate reading of its contents. There was {{w|Apollo 13#Oxygen tank incident|a large bang}}, and power fluctuated throughout the craft. NASA had to scramble to ensure the safe return of the astronauts. Needless to say, the moon landing for that mission was canceled.

The {{w|Hindenburg disaster}} is referenced in the text "The kind of air that once burned a big sky bag and people died and someone said "oh, the [humans]!". The term "big sky bag" is used as the closest approximation of {{w|zeppelin}} which is a big bag filled with a lighter-than-air gas which makes the whole contraption float. The {{w|LZ 129 Hindenburg|Hindenburg}} on the day of the disaster was filled with {{w|hydrogen}}, despite being initially designed for use with {{w|helium}}. Helium is much less prone to catching fire, but was unavailable due to a US export ban on the element. The risks seemed acceptable at the time because the Germans had a history of flying hydrogen-based passenger airships. The original quote is "Oh, the humanity!" [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F54rqDh2mWA] (skip to 0:47 for the quote).

The bottom tank, which [[Randall]] describes as "...full of that stuff they burned in lights before houses had power" is highly refined kerosene, called {{w|RP-1}}, it is similar to jet fuel, burns well and is not likely to explode; unlike {{w|liquid hydrogen}}, which is much more likely to explode.

==Transcript==
:US Space Team's Up Goer Five
:The only flying space car that's taken anyone to another world (explained using only the ten hundred words people use the most often)
:[A list of Saturn-V parts, top to bottom, with their "Up Goer" description follows]
:[Launch Escape System (LES)]: Thing to help people escape really fast if there's a problem and everything is on fire so they decide not to go to space
::[LES side nozzle]: Thing to control which direction the escaping people go
::[LES fuel]: Stuff to burn to make the box with the people in it escape ''really fast''
::[LES bottom nozzles]: Place where fire comes out to help them escape
:[Apollo spacecraft]
::[Command Module (CM)]: Part that flies around the other world and comes back home with the people in it and fall in the water.
:::[CM capsule parts]: People box, door, chairs
::[Service Module (SM)]: Part that goes along to give people air, water, computers and stuff. It comes back home with them but burns up without landing.
:::[SM oxygen tanks]: Cold air for burning (and breathing). This part had a ''VERY'' big problem once.
::[Lunar Module (LM)]: Part that flies down to the other world with two people inside
:::[LM descent stage]: Part that stays on the other world (it's still there)
:::[LM feet]: Feet that go on the ground of the other world
:[Instrument Unit]: Ring holding most of the computers
:[S-IVB third stage]: Part that falls off third (this part flew away from our world into space and hit the world we were going toward)
::[Fuel tanks]: Wet and ''very'' cold
:::[Liquid hydrogen (LH2) tank]: The kind of air that once burned a big sky bag and people died and someone said "Oh, the [humans]!" (used for burning)
:::[Liquid oxygen (LOX) tank]: The part of air you need to breathe, but not the other stuff (used for burning)
:::[Helium pressurizing tanks]: Things holding that kind of air that makes your voice funny (it's for filling up the space left when they take the cold air out to burn it.)
::[J-2 engine nozzle]: Fire comes out here
:[S-II second stage]: Part that falls off second
::[LH2 tank]: More sky bag air (for burning) (cold + wet)
::[LOX tank]: More breathing-type air (for burning) (cold + wet)
::[Tank-to-engine fuel lines]: Thing that brings in cold wet air to burn
::[J-2 engine nozzles (qty. 5)]: Fire comes out here
:[S-IC first stage]: Part that falls off first
::[LOX tank]: More breathing-type air (for burning) (cold + wet)
::[Helium pressurizing tank]: More funny voice air (for filling up space)
::[LOX fill line]: Opening for putting in cold wet air
::[RP-1 fuel tank]: This is full of that stuff they burned in lights before houses had power.It goes together with the cold air when it's time to start going up.
::[F-1 engine nozzles (qty. 5)]: Lots of fire comes out here.
:[Bottom of spacecraft]: This end should point toward the ground if you want to go to space. If it starts pointing toward space you are having a bad problem and you will not go to space today.

==External links==
*[http://history.msfc.nasa.gov/saturn_apollo/documents/First_Stage.pdf First Stage Fact Sheet]
*[http://history.msfc.nasa.gov/saturn_apollo/documents/Second_Stage.pdf Second Stage Fact Sheet]
*[http://history.msfc.nasa.gov/saturn_apollo/documents/Third_Stage.pdf Third Stage Fact Sheet]
*[http://splasho.com/upgoer5/ The Up-Goer Five Text Editor]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Physics]]

840: Serious

2013-07-24T00:03:16Z

24.5.192.232:

{{comic
| number = 840
| date = December 29, 2010
| title = Serious
| image = serious.png
| titletext = Not to be confused with Serious PuTTY, the Windows terminal client where everything is in Impact.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a play on words with the child's putty known as "{{w|Silly Putty}}", which is "silly" because it likes to be played with. Whereas Serious Putty does not even liked to be touched.

As it says in the image text {{w|PuTTY}} is a Windows Terminal client. {{w|Impact (typeface)|Impact}} is a font that is distributed with Windows that is used in the vast majority of "meme" image macros, such as lolcat pictures.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is standing next to a table. There is a can on the table.]

:[The label on the can reads, "Serious Putty".]

:[Cueball is looking at the table again.]

:[He reaches out to touch the can. The can speaks.]
:Can: Don't touch me.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

845: Modern History

2013-07-23T21:24:00Z

24.5.192.232:

{{comic
| number = 845
| date = January 10, 2011
| title = Modern History
| image = modern history.png
| titletext = During the week, I research my character by living in his house and raising his children.
}}

==Explanation==
War reenactment is a hobby in which people act out a battle from some previous time period. Theoretical "real-time" war reenactment takes this one step further by having someone act out a war '''that is actually happening at the time'''.

The title text refers to how someone would research the character that someone would play in a normal war reenactment in order for a more enjoyable reenactment. Once again, the title text makes a real-time version of this, having someone actually live the life of the real-time fighter.

==Transcript==
:Soldier: Will you please stop imitating everything I do?
:Cueball: [Dressed as and following soldier] Will you please stop...
:My Hobby: real time war reenactment.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:My Hobby]]

1223: Dwarf Fortress

2013-06-18T06:50:39Z

24.5.192.232:

{{comic
| number = 1223
| date = June 10, 2013
| title = Dwarf Fortress
| image = dwarf_fortress.png
| titletext = I may be the kind of person who wastes a year implementing a Turing-complete computer in Dwarf Fortress, but that makes you the kind of person who wastes ten more getting that computer to run Minecraft.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete}}
This comic is a reaction to the recent reveal of a U.S. electronic telecom surveillance program called {{w|PRISM (surveillance program)|PRISM}}, run by the NSA. (You can read a [http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/jun/06/us-tech-giants-nsa-data Guardian article] about it.) PRISM, leaked by a former NSA official, incited some controversy since it provides government access to private data (e-mails, videos, chats, file transfers, etc.). 

''{{w|Dwarf Fortress}}'' is a freeware strategy game in which the player builds a civilization by giving orders to — as opposed to directly controlling — a group of dwarves. It is famous for having a very detailed simulation of its world and for allowing deep micro-management (as well as an incredibly steep learning curve). Cueball compares the omniscience of a ''Dwarf Fortress'' player to government surveillance.

"Big Brother" means "a tyrannical government body that constantly monitors all its citizens." The term comes from the classic dystopian novel ''{{w|Nineteen Eighty-Four}}'' by George Orwell.

Informally, a system exhibits ''Turing-completeness'' when it is theoretically capable of executing any algorithm. One of the simplest Turing-complete systems is the {{w|Turing machine}}, a device that manipulates symbols on a strip of tape according to a table of rules — it {{w|Church-Turing thesis|can be proven}} to have the same capabilities as any ordinary programming language. Other very simple systems include {{w|Rule 110}}, {{w|lambda calculus}}, {{w|Conway's game of life}}, and {{w|Brainfuck}}. (The reason we don't work with these is because they're a real pain in the ass. Would you rather build a network of spaceships that collide with each other to simulate the successor function, or just write <tt>i := i + 1</tt>?)

A common CS nerd challenge is to prove the Turing-completeness of a system that wasn't intended to be that way — games in particular. The usual way to do this is to construct a Turing machine simulator within the system. It has been done for Minesweeper, Magic the Gathering, LittleBigPlanet, Minecraft, and 3D chess (but see the note below). These kinds of proofs often involve formulating ridiculously complex creations just to simulate a little machine writing symbols on a tape!

(Technically, a computer is not really Turing-complete. A Turing-complete system has to have unlimited space, and that's not possible for a memory-limited computer or any software running inside it. But even if we don't have access to Turing-completeness, we can build a theoretical machine and show how it can be extended indefinitely. In a few of the games, we prove Turing-completeness in infinite variants.)

==Transcript==
:[Cueball at a computer.]
:Cueball: If the corporate surveillance state monitors and controls every aspect of my life...
:Big Brother: We do.
:Cueball: And I play Dwarf Fortress all day...
:Big Brother: You do.
:Cueball: Then you're effectively Dwarf Fortress players watching your dwarves play Dwarf Fortress.
:Big Brother: ...Oh god.
:Big Brother realizes he's trapped in the most tedious possible hell.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]