explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

Talk:3138: Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure

2025-09-07T19:16:00Z

2600:387:4:803:0:0:0:90: Vetinari's clock

I was under the impression this was actually a thing that exists, somewhere. (Separate and apart from so-called "shrink rules" used by patternmakers who create patterns for metal castings). No? [[User:JohnHawkinson|JohnHawkinson]] ([[User talk:JohnHawkinson|talk]]) 00:36, 6 September 2025 (UTC)

https://www.inchcalculator.com/actual-size-of-dimensional-lumber/ for reference --- MEL

: Wikipedia has {{w|Lumber#Dimensional_lumber|a similar table}}. Interestingly, if the values on this table are correct, the xkcd measure fails for the 8 x 8 board. [[Special:Contributions/2605:59C8:160:DB08:988B:772A:4E5:B209|2605:59C8:160:DB08:988B:772A:4E5:B209]] 02:18, 6 September 2025 (UTC)

:"I was under the impression this was actually a thing that exists, somewhere" - if doesn't exist now, it soon will. [[Special:Contributions/70.115.234.146|70.115.234.146]] 03:59, 6 September 2025 (UTC)

Thinking that there might be a typo in the comic - It says : A "1x8" IS "3/4 BY 7 1/8", yet it should be "3/4 BY 7 1/4".

I no longer want to be a lumberjack! [[Special:Contributions/2A02:2455:1960:4000:748F:2291:F005:1989|2A02:2455:1960:4000:748F:2291:F005:1989]] 06:57, 6 September 2025 (UTC)

This reminds me of when I changed my friend’s text replacements to be slightly misspelled whenever she tried to type a common word in college. She was getting a degree in linguistics and it was SO FUNNY 《プロキシ》(XKCD中毒者) 13:29, 6 September 2025 (UTC)
:She should have claimed that she was undertaking "applied linguistics" and investigating how to create a deliberate {{w|language change}}! [[Special:Contributions/92.17.62.87|92.17.62.87]] 20:23, 6 September 2025 (UTC)

I was told (and maybe this is wrong), that the dimensions are intended to represent the final thickness of a wall when drywall (usually 0.5" thick) is attached to the studs. [[User:Shamino|Shamino]] ([[User talk:Shamino|talk]]) 20:58, 6 September 2025 (UTC)
:I think that's just a convenient side effect. Of course, if the drywall is 1/2 thick, a wall with 2x4 studs will be 4.5 inch thick. [[User:RegularSizedGuy|RegularSizedGuy]] ([[User talk:RegularSizedGuy|talk]]) 22:22, 6 September 2025 (UTC)

:That would be pretty ahistorical, so I think it is indeed wrong. Drywall is a relatively modern invention, and I think the standardization of 2x4s as 1.5″ thick predates it (need to check that…but even if it didn't, then it would be worse). Wood lath and plaster walls are more like 5/8″ from the stud face, if not more. And, of course, in modern American multifamily residential construction 5/8″ walls are more common, or even double-5/8″ walls (making 1 1/4″) in fire-rated assemblies. So it does not even end up being "convenient," not that a 4" wall assembly is particulary more "convenient" than a 4.5″ or a 4.125″ or a 4.75″ wall assembly…very little turns on the thickness of the stud plus wallboard, but a lot turns on the thickness of the stud cavity (insulation, space for utilities, &c.) or the thickness of the drywall (spacing of electrical outlets, mudrings, etc.). [[User:JohnHawkinson|JohnHawkinson]] ([[User talk:JohnHawkinson|talk]]) 04:20, 7 September 2025 (UTC)
Once again, the UK wins on ridiculousness. I bought some fencing materials yesterday. The panels were 1.83m x 1.22m, so they could be metric but nevertheless 6' x 4'. I got some presawn posts that were 2400mm long (so kind of 8', or close enough), and they were sold as 75mm x 75mm, so they were 3x3, but they fit perfectly into the 70mm x 70mm post supports I got to go with them. Using metric to sidestep the need for traditional-measurement nonsense...but just keeping the nonsense and throwing new numbers at it. Actually, that should rendered into Latin and put on a scroll as part of a national coat of arms. [[User:Yorkshire Pudding|Yorkshire Pudding]] ([[User talk:Yorkshire Pudding|talk]]) 09:49, 7 September 2025 (UTC)

Since the tape measure uses variable length inches, the watch (provided by the cartoonist) might be similar to Vetinari's clock. (Where individual ticks are of random duration.) I looked to see if xkcd had covered such a clock before (for possible link), but didn't find one. [[Special:Contributions/2600:387:4:803:0:0:0:90|2600:387:4:803:0:0:0:90]] 19:16, 7 September 2025 (UTC)

1538: Lyrics

2025-09-07T19:08:42Z

2600:387:4:803:0:0:0:90: /* Explanation */ Not just modern songs - unintelligible goes back as far as some opera; also CAPTCHAs

{{comic
| number = 1538
| date = June 15, 2015
| title = Lyrics
| image = lyrics.png
| titletext = To me, trying to understand song lyrics feels like when I see text in a dream but it𝔰 hอᵣd t₀ ᵣeₐd aกd 𝒾 canٖt fཱྀcu༧༦࿐༄
}}

==Explanation==
For some songs, the vocalist chooses to perform in a way that emphasizes emotion, accent or style over clear pronunciation of the lyrics. Some forms of music, for example the Jazz style Scat, use purely nonsensical lyrics while some styles of dance music use a single line of lyrics repeated throughout the track. Sometimes the instruments overwhelm the vocals, so the words are unintelligible.

There are also certain types of people that may describe themselves as "lyric deaf", which is sort of the lyrical equivalent to being {{w|Tone deafness|tone deaf}}, although it doesn't have an underlying medical understanding. Some people that describe themselves as tone deaf are even quite musically capable.

The comic is illustrating (in text form) how listening to such a song feels before you have learned what the actual lyrics are. The lyrics are represented in an indecipherable way, with a few mildly recognizable words. This represents the auditory experience of being able to hear and understand some words (perhaps incorrectly), but not all of them. The depiction is similar to some {{w|CAPTCHA|CAPTCHAs}} (text that is distorted so it is hard to recognize, and one has to guess at what the words are.) Audio CAPTCHAs are sometimes used, where words must be picked out from distorted sound.

Another example of this experience can be seen in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxELSzay2lc this British TV commercial] from the 1980s, showing someone who has misheard {{w|Desmond Dekker}} song {{w|Israelites (song) |Israelites}} so for instance the line ''Poor me Israelites'' becomes ''Oh-oh my ears are alight''. See more details in the [[#Trivia|trivia]] section.

This experience is similar to that shown by the character {{w|Havelock Vetinari}} the Patrician of {{w|Ankh-Morpork}}, in {{w|Terry Pratchett}}'s {{w|Discworld}} book {{w|Soul Music (novel)|Soul Music}} (see [http://www.ealasaid.com/fan/vetinari/vl-soulmusic.html part of book here]). Rather than listening to music, he preferred to read the printed sheet music:
:''In fact the kind of music he really liked was the kind that never got played. It ruined music, in his opinion, to torment it by involving it on dried skins, bits of dead cat and lumps of metal hammered into wires and tubes. It ought to stay written down, on the page, in rows of little dots and crotchets, all neatly caught between lines. Only there was it pure. It was when people started doing things with it that the rot set in. Much better to sit quietly in a room and read the sheets, with nothing between yourself and the mind of the composer but a scribble of ink. Having it played by sweaty fat men and people with hair in their ears and spit dribbling out of the end of their oboe... well, the idea made him shudder.''

For a related experience see {{w|Mondegreen}}.

The title text elaborates on the fact that [[Randall]] has the same experience when trying to understand [http://lyricsmusic.name/ song lyrics] as when he sees text in his dreams. The last part of the title text is written in strange scripts to illustrate how he feels when seeing text in his dreams. Translated it says: ''it's hard to read and I can't focus.''

Note that it looks like the song lyrics were written by drawing in a tool, like MS Paint, and then cutting out pieces and shifting them slightly.

=== Possible lyrics and songs ===
The closest guess on the lyrics is this:
:''I can't even tell her''
:''Anything she wanna''
:''Had outstanding skill''
::''Beautiful''
:''Forgetting love.''
(Note that the first line also might be ''I can't even '''help''' her''.)

It is very likely that [[Randall]] completely made up these lyrics himself and if any song coincidentally share some part of them it only happens because Randall has chosen some very cliché lyrics, that would thus be likely to occur in some pop songs.

Nevertheless, here below are some possible song references, in which the exact line from above occurs:
*If the first line is ''I can't even '''tell''' her'', it could come from
:{{w|Joe Budden}}'s song ''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJPZtoH_wok More of Me]''
:From the [http://genius.com/Joe-budden-more-of-me-lyrics lyrics]:
:''World keeps spinning, learned sinners keep sinning''
:''And '''I can't even tell her''' some fights ain't fight worthy''
:''Cause my pops got 20 years clean, but her pops got 20 years dirty''
*If the first line is ''I can't even '''help''' her'', it could come from:
:{{w|Bill Anderson (singer)|Bill Anderson's}} song ''[https://myspace.com/whisperinbill/music/song/baby-s-blue-again-104023287-116024575 Baby's Blue Again]''
:From the [http://www.metrolyrics.com/babys-blue-again-lyrics-bill-anderson.html lyrics]:
:''Oh Lord, and '''I can't even help her'''''
:''All I can do is just wait''
:''Until the clouds are all blown away''
*The second line ''Anything she wanna'' could be from:
:[https://twitter.com/1johnnycinco Johnny Cinco's] song ''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ri4LjCESbOA She Wanna]''
:From the [http://www.lyricfever.com/lyrics/1069636/Johnny-Cinco/She-Wanna lyrics]:
:''Buy here '''anything she wanna'''''
:''Fly in '''anything she wanna'''''
:''Try on '''anything she wanna'''''
*The third line ''Had to be outstanding or kill'' (which is basically just a simple guess at what could be said in the line) does not make much sense and there are no songs that include such a line.
*The fourth line ''Forgetting love'' could come from:
:[https://www.facebook.com/chino.brown.7 Chino Brown's] song ''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SOW2o-g8yg Love Again]''
:From the [http://genius.com/Chino-brown-love-again-lyrics lyrics]:
:''I was at a point in my life''
:''Of just '''forgetting love'''''
:''Until the day you touched me''

Or we've been [[356: Nerd Sniping|nerd sniped]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sits in a chair holding something. A speaker on a counter behind him is transmitting music. Four lines of wavy undecipherable lyrics emanate from the speaker. The lyrics are surrounded by musical notes. Below is the best attempt to write this down in text, also using capitals when they are clearly there in the comic.]
:I CANT₣∇EN +ELҼ ⊤HER
:A|N⊃Г⊕N6 ƒHE W(AN NAp.
:HADβE Aūτ|ƒA!NNNG∩fҠILL...
:FOR♡ITiNn⊣GLOOOO!VEEE ?.-

:[Caption below the frame:]
:Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be able to understand song lyrics without looking them up.

==Trivia==
*The [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxELSzay2lc commercial] mentioned in the explanation above spoofs Desmond Dekker's song ''Israelites''.
*The two verses used in the commercial are the 2nd and 3rd of the song as can be seen in the [http://www.metrolyrics.com/israelites-lyrics-desmond-dekker.html lyrics].
*Below can be read the two verses, with the first line (and then every second line) being what is sung (from the lyrics) and the following lines what the guy in the street shows on his cards (as he heard it):
*Verse 2:
:*Get up in the morning
::Get up in the morning
:*slaving for bread, sir
::sleeping for for bread, sir
:*So that every mouth
::Sold out to every monk
:*can be fed
::and beef-head
:*Poor
::oh-oh
:*me Israelites
::me ears are alight
*Verse 3:
:*My wife an' my kids
::Why find my kids?
:*them a pack up an' a leave me
::They buck up and a-leave me
:*Darlin' she said,
::Darling Cheese head
:*I was yours to be seen
::I was yards too greasy
:*Poor
::oh-oh
:*me Israelites
::me ears are alight
*After these two verses, there are more text from the guy while no new lines are sung:
::I think that's what he says
::But I need to hear it on a {{w|Hitachi Maxell|Maxell}}
::(There is a picture of a {{w|Compact Cassette|cassette tape}} below that last line of text.)

===Non-ASCII characters===
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Matching text
! Character
! Description
! Preview
|-
| THAI CHARACTER O ANG
| U+0E2D
| THAI CHARACTER O ANG
| อ
|-
| ARABIC SUBSCRIPT ALEF
| U+0656
| ARABIC SUBSCRIPT ALEF
| ٖ
|-
| TIBETAN VOWEL SIGN AA
| U+0F71
| TIBETAN VOWEL SIGN AA
| ཱ
|-
| TIBETAN VOWEL SIGN REVERSED II
| U+0F81
| TIBETAN VOWEL SIGN REVERSED II
| ཱྀ
|-
| TIBETAN MARK BSKA- SHOG GI MGO RGYAN
| U+0FD0
| TIBETAN MARK BSKA- SHOG GI MGO RGYAN
| ࿐
|-
| TIBETAN MARK INITIAL YIG MGO MDUN MA
| U+0F04
| TIBETAN MARK INITIAL YIG MGO MDUN MA
| ༄
|}

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Dreams]]
[[Category:Unicode]]

3138: Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure

2025-09-07T18:24:02Z

2600:387:4:803:0:0:0:90: /* Explanation */ Note that the tape uses irregularly spaced marks. Also 1 inch plywood different thickness from 1 inch board.

{{comic
| number = 3138
| date = September 5, 2025
| title = Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure
| image = dimensional_lumber_tape_measure_2x.png
| imagesize = 532x478px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = A person with two watches is never sure what time it is, especially if I got them one of the watches.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by A LUMBERYARD PSYCHIATRIST. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
A 2×4 is a type of dimensional lumber, meaning it is cut to a specified cross-section. In the case of a 2×4, despite implicitly specifying dimensions of 2 inches by 4 inches, its actual dimensions are 1.5 inches by 3.5 inches. The Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure "fixes" this inaccuracy by changing the length of some of its indicated inches so that a 2×4 is measured as 2 inches by 4 inches. On the dimensional tape the 1st, 2nd, and 8th division are made shorter than on the standard tape. So measurements that do not start at the beginning of the tape will give different values. Note that the comic states 7.125 inches as the width of a 1×8, when in reality the width is 7.25 inches.

As explained {{w|Lumber#Dimensional lumber|on Wikipedia}}, the nominal dimensions of a piece of dimensional lumber(US)/timber(UK) are those to which, in history, the wood was cut from green logs. Over time, the wood would shrink from loss of water. Consequently, a board cut to 2×4 inches would shrink to some fraction of those dimensions. The nominal dimensions also refer to the rough cut lumber - the final product is typically planed smooth, which further reduces its dimensions. The actual final dimensions would vary based on the type of wood, the amount of water lost and other such factors, with a greater or lesser amount of predictability. Over time, the actual dimensions of the wood became standardized at some regularly-achievable value less than the nominal dimensions. Different types of construction material sometimes use different measures, for instance, "1 inch" plywood is typically not 1 inches thick, but it is also not 3/4 inches thick (the thickness of a 1 inch board).

A person not familiar with this history may be puzzled at the disconnect between the nominal and actual dimensions of lumber/timber, perhaps to the point of thinking that some underhanded short-measure had gone on. To such persons, the comic's Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure makes sense, or at least addresses the disconnect. It would not, however, have any practical use, and attempts to employ it would likely lead to constructions going dangerously awry. Necessary lengths of timber, as well as other cuts that fine-tuned a supplied timber to fill a space, would be intrinsically inconsistent with the gaps they were intended to tightly fit within. At best, ''every single'' component of a construction would be measured and cut according to this particular measure and the resulting structure would be self-consistent but subtly undersized compared to the original plan.

Additionally, leaving it in someone else's toolbox without informing them would likely lead to them incorrectly measuring things, as the Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure appears visually similar to a standard tape measure and has similar enough units that it is plausible someone could use the Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure and assume it indicated full inches.

The title text is a play on the adage "A man with two watches is never sure what time it is". That adage is a rephrasing of {{w|Segal's law}}.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|So far, only the raw text was added. Needs description of the pictures and layout.}}

===Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure===

Dimensional lumber sizes are tricky. A “2×4” is actually 1½" by 3½", and a “1×8” is ¾" by 7⅛".

(A drawing of a rectangular wooden block labelled “2×4”, with notes indicating the length of the sides being 1½" and 3½".)

If you know someone into carpentry or woodworking, get them our ''dimensional lumber tape measure''.

(A drawing of two tape measures seen from the side. One is labeled <code>12'</code>, and the other is labeled <code>12'*</code>.)

(Two drawings of the tape measures’ tapes:)

Normal tape measure: (The measure is divided into inches evenly.)

Dimensional lumber tape measure: (The measure is divided unevenly, such that 1st and 2nd marked ‘inches’ are each equal to a ¾-inch but the 3rd to 7th marks each equate to a single 1 inch. The 8th mark is once again ¾-inch after the 7th.)

(Neither measure indicates the unit being used.)

'''Don’t tell them you got it'''—just leave it in their toolbox. They’ll appreciate the surprise when all their measurements work out!

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics with color]]