3187: High Altitude Cooking Instructions

2025-12-30T16:16:44Z

2600:4040:A4B1:7E00:88D4:3C30:AA04:B8C: Spelling correction and word choice.

{{comic
| number = 3187
| date = December 29, 2025
| title = High Altitude Cooking Instructions
| image = high_altitude_cooking_instructions_2x.png
| imagesize = 389x370px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 1,300,000-1,400,000 ft: Ask a crew member to show you how to use the ISS food warmer.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a crew member using the ISS food warmer. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
At higher altitudes, cooking experiences extra complications. This was previously mentioned in [[2153: Effects of High Altitude]]. This comic imagines food preparation instructions with additional caveats specifically for high-altitude cooking.

A part of these instruction is thus labeled ''High Altitude Cooking Instructions''. It is unclear if this is the package with the dish, or if it is a board placed on the wall of the kitchen (of maybe some kind of vehicle, maybe a space capsule).

At the top there are a part of these instructions that can only partly be seen. But below follows the separate High Altitude version, which list instructions for three different heights above sea level.

While the first two sections are reasonable accommodations, given the lower boiling point of water under less presure, for altitudes of 3,500-6,500 ft (1-2 km) and 6,500-9,500 ft (2-3 km), the instructions - as is typical for xkcd - soon veer into absurdity.

At an altitude of 250,000-450,000 ft (approximately 76-137 km), the instructions assume the user is partaking in some kind of controlled spaceflight. The "cooking instructions", therefore, are instead instructions for reentry; basically, telling the user "You can wait until you get home".

In this range of altitudes, you are ''highly'' likely to actively be either on the way down or, perhaps, still on the way up to space; cooking shouldn't be your primary concern in either case. The air-launched {{w|North American X-15|X-15}}, as did the later {{w|SpaceShipOne}}, ultimately 'flew' at around 350,000 ft, though (as with rockets, re-entry capsules or {{w|Project HARP|projectiles}}) there is no real capability to loiter at these altitudes, being well above even the unmanned balloon-flight record or that of any {{w|AeroVironment Helios Prototype#Records|sustained level flight}}. And only in the latter might you even expect to be a passenger, not too busy to enjoy a light pre-prepared snack — already cooked, as necessary, at ground level.

Once back on the ground it tells you to use the Sea level cooking instructions. These are most likely the one one that is written on the top part of the comic. What can be seen for sure is
:remove fro
:for 3 minutes before serving
A qualified guess it that it says
:remove from heat ...
But as nothing above this is visible, it is impossible to tell what it is that should be cooked.

The title text goes a step further and assumes that the user is in orbit - specifically, on the {{w|International Space Station}} at an altitude of 1,300,000-1,400,000 (396-426 km) (The ISS is between 413-422 km above Earth's surface). Anyone on an orbiting space station is presumably going to be on that space station for an extended period, so they cannot wait until after they return to Earth for a meal, so the "cooking instructions" simply direct the user to someone who can show them how to use the on-board facilities. Even if the pressure is one atmosphere cooking with boiling water in a free falling space station is likely not the best of ideas, so better ask someone for directions.

In 2022, spaceman extraordinaire Scott Manley uploaded a rigorously scientific presentation titled [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zwf0RWXx8BY Can You Cook a Turkey by Dropping It From Space?]. A similar question was discussed in the 2013 [[what if? (blog)|What if]] blog post, "{{What If|28|Steak Drop}}".

==Transcript==
:[Two notes, of black writing on white background, are printed upon an item of grey packaging that is shown in closeup, slightly inclined and rotated within the comic panel. Only the latter parts of the top note are visible — because of the slant, only the first few characters of the penultimate line, and the entire final line of text, can be read. The bottom note is fully visible, as the bottom of the board is all within view.]

:[The readable part of the top note's two lines:]
:Remove fro...
:for 3 minutes before serving.

:[The bottom note:]
:'''High altitude cooking instructions:'''
:'''3,500-6,500 ft''': Add ½ cup water, increase cook time to 12 minutes
:'''6,500-9,500 ft''': Add 1¼ cups water, increase cook time to 18 minutes
:'''250,000-450,000 ft''': Orient reentry vehicle for aerodynamic stability. Deploy parachutes at 10,000 ft. Descend, keeping crew capsule tightly covered, for 3-4 minutes. After splashdown, follow sea level cooking instructions

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category: Food]]
[[Category: Space]]

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3187: High Altitude Cooking Instructions