explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

2760: Paleontology Museum

2026-05-13T23:44:30Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2760
| date = April 7, 2023
| title = Paleontology Museum
| image = paleontology_museum_2x.png
| imagesize = 485x155px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Nowadays the only ones left that do anything are turtles.
}}

==Explanation==
In this comic, Cueball and Megan are at a {{w|paleontology}} museum and are looking at the {{w|Fossil#Permineralization|fossilized}} skeleton of a ''{{w|Stegosaurus}}''.
Dinosaurs encompassed a wide variety of species that would be amazing to see alive today, including T. rex, Stegosaurus, Velociraptor, etc. Cueball is remarking that the "bones" they are looking at [https://www.amnh.org/dinosaurs/dinosaur-bones are now actually rock], since, over time, the bone material gets replaced by minerals, and that 'rocks' then were way cooler (e.g. inside a dinosaur) than modern rocks. He may be under the impression that dinosaurs looked like their skeletons and therefore, were "rocks" that could walk, or perhaps just that their skeletons were actually made of rock, making those 'rocks' more cool than our modern inanimate ones.

The title text suggests that {{w|turtles}} are a form of animate rock. This could be interpreted in two ways. In the first interpretation, you could say that their hard shells make them seem like rocks that are able to move on their own. This gives the latest approximation to modern "rocks" that do more or look cooler than just plain old rocks. In the second interpretation, the text could be generalizing the idea of bone-based armor as "rocks" to other animals. This would include other armored animals like armadillos and pangolins. Extending it beyond bone-based to any hard outer construction could encompass many other life forms - for example, shellfish and corals.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are standing beside each other in what is presumably a museum, and are viewing a stegosaurus skeleton. The skeleton stands on a pedestal and there is a placard on a stand in front of it. The rib cage and head of the skeleton are visible to us; the rear of the skeleton is outside the frame of the panel.]

:[Panel of just Cueball and Megan.]
:Cueball: Wow.

:[Cueball and Megan standing.]
:Cueball: Rocks used to be '''''so cool'''''.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Dinosaurs]]
[[Category:Geology]]

3244: Pullback Drive

2026-05-12T23:09:56Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3244
| date = May 11, 2026
| title = Pullback Drive
| image = pullback_drive_2x.png
| imagesize = 303x292px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = "How does the spring not run out almost immediately?" "We pull it back REALLY far."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by A STOMP ROCKET POWERED CAR. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

This comic is a reference to toy cars with {{w|pullback motor}}s. Normally used for small toy cars, a spring motor stores potential energy when the car is pulled backwards, and the potential energy (including the final energy used in holding the car against its spring) is suddenly released as kinetic energy when the car is released.

The very simple version of pull-back car will only go as far forward as it is drawn backwards in the first place. More complicated versions can use a change in effective gearing (through the use of a 'flappy' gear that meshes differently depending upon the relative direction of movement of the cogs it is meshed with) between 'charging' the spring by back-pulling, and then letting it 'expend' in the forward direction. This can allow it to store a lot of torque from a little pre-pulled distance and then expend it to give far more effective speed/distance to the very light toy. Through a free-wheel gearing at the end of its 'powered' phase, the car may run on 'unpowered' for a significant further distance. However, since there is a finite amount of energy that can be stored in the spring, they may hit a hard limit where the spring cannot be wound any further, or commonly a slip-gear will simply click as the mechanism no longer tries to convert pull-back movement into sprung potential (letting the child know that their toy is at maximum readiness).

In this comic, [[Hairy]] suggests a full-scale version of a pullback car, including the mechanism that clicks as it hits the limit of its spring-winding. Making this type of energy store work on the scale of a full-size car would be extremely impractical, due to the {{w|Energy density#In material deformation|low power}} and the requirement to pull it back far enough to then go anywhere meaningful, even assuming a multiplying effect on forward travel compared to the initial backwards travel. Hairy tries to sell the car by saying that [[Cueball]] won't need to worry about gas or electricity prices. This is [[technically]] true, but cars that run on petroleum or electricity have the advantage of their energy supply being refillable, while this pullback car seemingly does not (without another factory-style 'pull back' facility).

A car which is powered by such a simple spring mechanism would have the significant disadvantage of not being able to have a "Reverse" gear setting.

The worries about electricity and gas prices may be a reference to the closure of the {{w|Strait of Hormuz}} due to the {{w|2026 Iran war}}. The strait was a very common waterway used for the international trade of natural gas and petroleum from the Middle East, but the Iranian government is currently not allowing any foreign ships to pass through it. If this type of propulsion works, this would negate the need to fuel the car, making it a good energy-efficient alternative if it could be practically implemented. But hopefully they don’t give the car too {{What If|61|much energy.}}

It would be possible to "recharge" such a car by repeating the process of pulling it backwards, or perhaps by placing it on a treadmill-style arrangement and running this forward relative to the car, while holding the vehicle stationary. However, the energy being stored in the spring motor would have to come from somewhere. No clue is even given to what form of mechanical device is used to pull the car back at the factory and if/when it needs to be retensioned again, but the means used to power ''that'' might entirely defeat the main purpose of the pullback car (that that it doesn't rely on various fuels to keep it going) if it relies on such fuels itself.

A flywheel connected to the motor could occasionally be lowered onto the road when the car is under braking and then automatically raised, which might work as a form of charging if the released kinetic energy could be diverted to the main wheels. However, the automatic lowering and raising of the flywheel would require an external energy source, and it would be much simpler to just use an electric car at that point. Plus, this would produce diminishing returns and the car would need to be "recharged" every so often.

Also the power relies on the car 'being pulled back', which would present challenges and, as Cueball points out in the title text, such a motor would store very little energy and (in a vehicle the size of an actual car) would run out almost immediately compared to a traditional combustion or electric engine. Hairy responds that they "pull it back '''''REALLY''''' far", which would not actually solve the practical problems of it being an incredibly inefficient energy source, or the various other difficulties, particularly as it is bound by the inbuilt 'clicking-limit' that already is implied to have been reached.

To some extent, the spring-powered car is a direct analogue to electric cars (whether pre-charged at the factory or not), where forms of externally-generated power are transfered to a 'potential' held within the vehicle to be re-expended (with acceptable losses in conversion efficiencies) as movement. By contrast, fuel-powered cars provide the energy in the form of potential-holding material (LPG, fuel-oils, or even solid fuel like coal or wood, depending upon the vehicle), which is expelled after use and refilled with new supplies. The advantages of electrical power are that it can be relatively easily generated by means ''other'' than burning fossil fuels, and (while not currently at energy densities comparable to common engine fuels), the weight of batteries required to power a car over a given distance isn't anything like as problematic as the equivalent spring-based system would be.

==Transcript==

:[Hairy and Cueball are standing to the right of a medium-size car. Hairy has raised one hand slightly to point to the car.]
:Hairy: You won't have to worry about gas prices '''''or''''' electricity prices with our new pullback drive model.
:Hairy: At the factory, we put the car on the ground and tow it all the way backward until it starts clicking.
:Hairy: To drive forward, you just release the brake and it goes.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

3243: Crystal Gazing

2026-05-12T23:06:02Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2:

{{comic
| number = 3243
| date = May 8, 2026
| title = Crystal Gazing
| image = crystal_gazing_2x.png
| imagesize = 281x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'Beyond that lies a vale of fire through which my vision cannot penetrate' is the kind of fun thing geologists, heliophysicists, and early universe cosmologists have a lot of opportunities to say.
}}

==Explanation==
A {{w|geochronology|geochronologist}} (someone who estimates the ages of rocks, fossils, etc.) dressed up as a wizard (assuming that isn't how they normally dress) announces — in archaic language befitting his costume — that he has determined the {{w|age of the Earth}} by analyzing {{w|zircon}}. Zircon is a crystal with the formula ZrSiO4. During its formation it can incorporate uranium instead of zirconium in its crystal lattice, but cannot incorporate lead. The uranium then decays (via several intermediates) into lead. Thus a sufficiently old zircon crystal will contain some lead, allowing geologists to {{w|Detrital_zircon_geochronology|calculate its age}}. This method is especially reliable, since uranium-238 decays into lead-206 with a half-life of 4.5 billion years, while uranium-235 decays into lead-207 with a half-life of 0.7 billion years, allowing geologists to determine the age even where some lead was lost from the crystal. The geochronologist says he predicted the age of the Earth by gazing into the crystal, similar to the traditional fortune tellers' method of making predictions by gazing into crystal balls.

A prophet of doom is someone who predicts impending disasters, particularly the end of the world (and there are lots of ridiculous ways that [https://what-if.xkcd.com/archive/ could happen]). These prophets and predictions are especially common in fantasy media. The joke in the caption is that someone who can determine when the world began is just doing this in reverse, and that's what geochronologists are doing when they calculate the age of the Earth. His last line, "the beginning was nigh", is a reversal of the phrase stereotypically used by prophets of doom: "the end is nigh". This is in keeping with the idea represented in the comic.

The title text points out, in similar flowery language (in keeping with the character being a wizard from a {{w|J. R. R. Tolkien|Tolkienesque}} or {{w|Dungeons & Dragons}}-type world, where [https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Vales_of_Anduin vales] are often part of the geographical language), that many areas of physical sciences have a limiting horizon to their ability to study their subject. {{w|Geologists}} are limited by the early molten history of the Earth, in that most of the crust has been recycled back into the molten mantle at some point, and the mantle acts as a physical 'vale of fire' for the core — each limiting what can be studied. Similarly, {{w|heliophysicists}} have difficulty knowing what happens within the Sun due to the physical 'vale of fire' that is the Sun's surface. Finally, {{w|cosmologists}} have difficulty studying beyond the {{w|recombination (cosmology)|'recombination' era}}, beyond which the universe is shielded by a 'vale of fire' ({{w|cosmic microwave background}}) from electromagnetic observation — both in time (investigating the early universe) or in space (investigating beyond the event horizon of the visible universe).

[[:Category:Dungeons & Dragons|D&D]] is a recurring topic on xkcd.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A character in wizard garb with long beard and hair talks to Cueball. To the left of the wizard is a poster with illegible text over a graph with two lines intersecting.]

:Wizard: By gazing into my crystals of zircon, I have divined the date of the hour of fire marking the limit of this world's existence.
:Wizard: 4.54 billion years ago, the beginning was nigh!

:[Caption below comic:]
:Geochronologists are just reverse prophets of doom.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Geology]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

3243: Crystal Gazing

2026-05-12T23:03:48Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2:

{{comic
| number = 3243
| date = May 8, 2026
| title = Crystal Gazing
| image = crystal_gazing_2x.png
| imagesize = 281x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'Beyond that lies a vale of fire through which my vision cannot penetrate' is the kind of fun thing geologists, heliophysicists, and early universe cosmologists have a lot of opportunities to say.
}}

A {{w|geochronology|geochronologist}} (someone who estimates the ages of rocks, fossils, etc.) dressed up as a wizard (assuming that isn't how they normally dress) announces — in archaic language befitting his costume — that he has determined the {{w|age of the Earth}} by analyzing {{w|zircon}}. Zircon is a crystal with the formula ZrSiO4. During its formation it can incorporate uranium instead of zirconium in its crystal lattice, but cannot incorporate lead. The uranium then decays (via several intermediates) into lead. Thus a sufficiently old zircon crystal will contain some lead, allowing geologists to {{w|Detrital_zircon_geochronology|calculate its age}}. This method is especially reliable, since uranium-238 decays into lead-206 with a half-life of 4.5 billion years, while uranium-235 decays into lead-207 with a half-life of 0.7 billion years, allowing geologists to determine the age even where some lead was lost from the crystal. The geochronologist says he predicted the age of the Earth by gazing into the crystal, similar to the traditional fortune tellers' method of making predictions by gazing into crystal balls.

A prophet of doom is someone who predicts impending disasters, particularly the end of the world (and there are lots of ridiculous ways that [https://what-if.xkcd.com/archive/ could happen]). These prophets and predictions are especially common in fantasy media. The joke in the caption is that someone who can determine when the world began is just doing this in reverse, and that's what geochronologists are doing when they calculate the age of the Earth. His last line, "the beginning was nigh", is a reversal of the phrase stereotypically used by prophets of doom: "the end is nigh". This is in keeping with the idea represented in the comic.

The title text points out, in similar flowery language (in keeping with the character being a wizard from a {{w|J. R. R. Tolkien|Tolkienesque}} or {{w|Dungeons & Dragons}}-type world, where [https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Vales_of_Anduin vales] are often part of the geographical language), that many areas of physical sciences have a limiting horizon to their ability to study their subject. {{w|Geologists}} are limited by the early molten history of the Earth, in that most of the crust has been recycled back into the molten mantle at some point, and the mantle acts as a physical 'vale of fire' for the core — each limiting what can be studied. Similarly, {{w|heliophysicists}} have difficulty knowing what happens within the Sun due to the physical 'vale of fire' that is the Sun's surface. Finally, {{w|cosmologists}} have difficulty studying beyond the {{w|recombination (cosmology)|'recombination' era}}, beyond which the universe is shielded by a 'vale of fire' ({{w|cosmic microwave background}}) from electromagnetic observation — both in time (investigating the early universe) or in space (investigating beyond the event horizon of the visible universe).

[[:Category:Dungeons & Dragons|D&D]] is a recurring topic on xkcd.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A character in wizard garb with long beard and hair talks to Cueball. To the left of the wizard is a poster with illegible text over a graph with two lines intersecting.]

:Wizard: By gazing into my crystals of zircon, I have divined the date of the hour of fire marking the limit of this world's existence.
:Wizard: 4.54 billion years ago, the beginning was nigh!

:[Caption below comic:]
:Geochronologists are just reverse prophets of doom.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Geology]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

3243: Crystal Gazing

2026-05-09T19:10:24Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3243
| date = May 8, 2026
| title = Crystal Gazing
| image = crystal_gazing_2x.png
| imagesize = 281x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'Beyond that lies a vale of fire through which my vision cannot penetrate' is the kind of fun thing geologists, heliophysicists, and early universe cosmologists have a lot of opportunities to say.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created over 4.54 billion nanoseconds ago. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A geologist dressed up as a wizard (assuming that isn't how they normally dress) announces — in archaic language befitting his costume — that he has determined the {{w|age of the Earth}} by analyzing {{w|zircon}}. Zircon is a crystal with the formula ZrSiO4. During its formation it can incorporate uranium instead of zirconium in its crystal lattice, but cannot incorporate lead. The uranium then decays (via several intermediates) into lead. Thus a sufficiently old zircon crystal will contain some lead, allowing geologists to calculate its age. This method is especially reliable since uranium-238 decays into lead-206 with a half-life of 4.5 billion years, while uranium-235 decays into lead-207 with a half-life of 0.7 billion years, allowing geologists to determine the age even if some lead was lost from the crystal. The geochronologist says he predicted the age of the earth by gazing into the crystal, similar to how fortune tellers traditionally make predictions be gazing into crystal balls.

A prophet of doom is someone who predicts impending disasters, especially the end of the world. (and there are lots of ridiculous ways that [https://what-if.xkcd.com/archive/ could happen].)These prophets and predictions are especially common in fantasy media. The joke in the caption is that someone who can determine when the world began is just doing this in reverse, and that's what geochronologists are doing when they calculate the age of the Earth. His last line, the beginning was nigh, is a past tense variation of what people who fear for the end of the world traditionally say: "the end is nigh". This is in keeping with the idea represented in the comic.

The title text points out, in similar flowery language (in keeping with the character being a Tolkienesque portrayal of a wizard, where [https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Vales_of_Anduin vales] are part of the geographical language), that many areas of physical sciences are limited in how far back or how far into/away they can describe their part of the world or universe. {{w|Geologists}} are limited by the early molten history of the Earth, that most of the crust has been recycled back into the molten mantle at some point, and the mantle acting as a physical 'vale of fire' for the core — each limiting what can be studied. Similarly, {{w|heliophysicists}} have difficulty knowing what happens within the Sun due to the physical 'vale of fire' that is the Sun's surface. Finally, {{w|cosmologists}} have difficulty studying beyond the {{w|recombination (cosmology)|'recombination' era}}, past which the universe is shielded by a 'vale of fire' ({{w|cosmic microwave background}}) from electromagnetic observation — both in time (investigating the early universe) or in space (investigating beyond the event horizon of the visible universe).

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A character in wizard garb with long beard and hair talks to Cueball. To the left of the wizard is a poster with illegible text over a graph with two lines intersecting.]

:Wizard: By gazing into my crystals of zircon, I have divined the date of the hour of fire marking the limit of this world's existence.
:Wizard: 4.54 billion years ago, the beginning was nigh!

:[Caption below comic:]
:Geochronologists are just reverse prophets of doom.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Geology]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

1212: Interstellar Memes

2026-05-09T14:13:02Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2: /* Table with memes */

{{comic
| number = 1212
| date = May 15, 2013
| title = Interstellar Memes
| image = interstellar memes.png
| titletext = The strongest incentive we have to develop faster-than-light travel is that it would let us apologize in advance.
}}
A [http://xkcd.com/1212/large/ larger version] of this picture can be found by clicking the comic on xkcd.

==Explanation==
{{incomplete| Need to add the missing explanations for memes.}}

[[Randall]] highlights various memes from popular culture. A {{w|meme}} is a phenomenon, often in this scenario in the form of a movie quote, a musical reference, a catchphrase or other notable saying that spreads quickly by word-of-mouth. Memes become popular because people hear about them and repeat them to others. Randall points out that if the assumed intelligent life from other star systems were listening to the things we said, then they would just now be hearing and popularizing memes started years ago on earth. The delay is due to the time that it takes for expressions of the meme to travel (presumably via radio waves) to distant star systems.

Our solar system, from where the electromagnetic waves are emitted, is located just left of the center of the picture. The other star systems are arranged roughly according to their distance from the sun, while their size corresponds to the size of the star compared with that of the Sun. The meme for Sirius is a pun; it refers to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, in which Bellatrix Lestrange kills Sirius Black. Radio waves travel at the {{w|speed of light}}. The title text jokes that these memes are so annoying that it would give us further incentive to develop the technology to travel {{w|faster than light}}, just simply to be able to outrun the radio waves, reach a distant star system, and apologize in advance to the "residents" about the memes, before the memes arrive.

In the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|47|Alien Astronomers}}'', Randall points out that Earth entertainment television and radio signals were never broadcast with sufficient intensity to be detectable at the majority of interstellar distances making it unlikely that aliens are picking up our memes and links back to this comic.

===Table with memes===
The table below lists all the memes described, and the star at which the comics states those memes should be heard by the time when the comic was released in 2013. The year of the meme plus the number of light years to the star should end up close to 2013.

Most end up within the range 2011-2013 which may indicate the meme became popular one or two years later (on Earth or at the distant star system.) Two memes reach the targets in 2014. Some of those errors may be caused by the inaccuracy of the distances.

The ''The Spanish Inquisition'' from Monty Python would have reached its destination in 2006. Because they're still watching ''Monty Python's Flying Circus'' in 2013 it must be very popular or maybe it took seven years to decipher that {{w|British humour}}.

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Meme !! Star !! Origin !! Year !! Distance to star !! Sum year !! Explanation
|-
| Yabba dabba doo! || {{w|Castor (star)|Castor}} || ''{{w|The Flintstones}}'' || 1960 || 51 ± 3 ly || 2011 ± 3 ||The catchphrase used by ''{{W|Fred Flintstone}}'' in the series ''{{W|The Flintstones}}'' whenever something good happens (like a work shift ending).
|-
| You've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" || {{w|Lambda Aurigae}} || ''{{w|Dirty Harry}}'' || 1971 || 41.2 ± 0.1 ly || 2012 || The famous line from the scene in ''Dirty Harry'' where the titular Harry forces a criminal to surrender by threatening him with an empty gun.
|-
| {{w|Where's the beef|Where's the beef?}} || {{w|HR 1614}} || Slogan for {{w|Wendy's}} || 1984 || 28 ly || 2012 || Catchy slogan used in many Wendy's commercials that caught on and became a meme in its own right.
|-
| And now for something completely different. || {{w|Capella (star)|Capella}}|| ''{{w|Monty Python's Flying Circus}}'' || 1969 || 42 ly || 2011 || "And now for something completely different" was previously used in U.K. magazine shows like ''Tonight'', but its use in Monty Python's material means it has come to be associated with them.
|-
| Here's lookin' at you, kid. || {{w|Kappa Reticuli}} || ''{{w|Casablanca (film)|Casablanca}}'' || 1942 || 70 ly || 2012 || "Here's looking at you, kid" is a line spoken by Humphrey Bogart in the 1942 film Casablanca.
|-
| My spoon is too big! || {{w|Kapteyn's Star}} || ''{{w|Rejected}}'' || 2000 || 12 ly || 2012 || The first line of Don Hertzfeldt's surreal animation ''Rejected'', released in 2000. In the story of ''Rejected'', this was meant to be an ad bumper for an educational channel.
|-
| May the force be with you. || {{w|Delta Trianguli}} || ''{{w|Star Wars}}''|| 1977 || 35 ly || 2012 || This is a phrase used a lot in the Star Wars franchise. It is a benediction used to bid a hopeful farewell, mostly by/to/between those who are aligned to the {{w|Jedi}} creed.
|-
| Peanut butter jelly time! || {{w|Luyten's Star}} || [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/peanut-butter-jelly-time an Internet meme] || 2002 || 12 ly || 2014 || "Peanut Butter & Jelly" was the only single by the Buckwheat Boyz, which became popular as a meme when paired with an animated dancing banana.
|-
| Rosebud. || {{w|Alpha Hydri}} || ''{{w|Citizen Kane}}'' || 1941 || 71 ly || 2012 || In the opening scene of Citizen Kane, the eponymous Mr. Kane dies, saying "Rosebud" as his last words. The rest of the movie focuses on the people in his life trying to determine what the meaning of this word was.
|-
| Oh my god, {{w|They killed Kenny|they killed Kenny!}} – You bastards! || {{w|AD Leonis}} || ''{{w|South Park}}'' || 1997 || 15.9 ± 0.2 ly || 2013 || This is usually said whenever the character Kenny from South Park is killed. This is a recurring reference, as Kenny dies in every episode of South Park. In its most referenced form, another of the child characters then swears at the antagonists, fate and/or {{tvtropes|BreakingTheFourthWall|the writer's of the show}}, whichever party may be responsible, but this may be toned down in later depictions.
|-
| ...God kills a kitten! – A what? || {{w|Procyon}} || {{w|Every time you masturbate... God kills a kitten|an Internet meme}} || 2002 || 11.5 ly || 2013 || The full catchphrase is "Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten". The reply for this meme notes that kittens aren't on any other planets{{Citation needed}}, so the other person is confused about what a kitten is.
|-
| I ''still'' can't believe Bellatrix– – Dude, get over it. || {{w|Sirius}} || ''{{w|Harry Potter}}'' ({{w|Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix|book 5}}) || 2003 || 8.6 ly || 2012 || In the Battle of the {{w|Ministry of Magic|Department of Mysteries}}, {{w|Bellatrix Lestrange}} fires a spell at {{w|Sirius Black}}, {{w|Harry Potter (character)|Harry's}} {{w|Godparent|godfather}}. This spell knocks Sirius backward through an archway which is a physical doorway into the {{w|Afterlife|afterlife}} such that, when Sirius fell through it, he left the realm of the living and died. The star Sirius is obviously upset about this, as Sirius Black was named after him.
|-
| Ninjas fight ''all the time!'' || {{w|Epsilon Eridani}} || {{w|The Official Ninja Webpage}} || 2002 || 10 ly || 2012 || {{w|Ninja}} is the Japanese word for {{w|spy}}. In the 16th century, Japanese spycraft was codified into a profession, and spies had a significant influence on feudal intrigue during the {{w|Sengoku period|Japanese warring states period}}. These spies inspired a lot of literature, some fantastical, which over time developed into a popular stock character and a rich array of associated tropes. The Official Ninja Webpage is a satire website written from the perspective of a teenage American boy who is obsessed with the stock character and its associated tropes. One of these tropes, as written on the front page of the website, is that "Ninjas fight ALL the time."
|-
| {{w|D'oh!}} || {{w|HR 753}} || ''{{w|The Simpsons}}'' || 1989 || 23 ly || 2012 || This is what {{w|Homer Simpson}}, the father figure of {{w|The Simpsons}}, exclaims whenever he's annoyed.
|-
| {{w|The Spanish Inquisition (Monty Python)|''Nobody'' expects the Spanish Inquisition!}} || {{w|Beta Virginis}} || ''{{w|Monty Python's Flying Circus}}'' || 1970 || 35,6 ly || 2006 || Monty Python was an absurdist sketch show. In a particular episode, a character in a scene (a meeting between a mill-owner and his workers) complained about being asked some questions by saying they "did not expect a {{w|Spanish Inquisition}}", a superlative that was common at the time the sketch aired. At this point, several characters dressed in the uniforms of the Spanish Inquisition burst into the scene declaring that "nobody expects the Spanish inquisition", diverting the original sketch's direction. At the very end of the episode, a different character in a different (courtroom) sketch says that they "didn't expected the Spanish Inquisition" and everyone turns towards the door in expectation. The remainder of the episode follows the Spanish Inquisition rushing to the scene, and barely starting to 'surprise' everyone there before time runs out.
|-
| {{w|All your base are belong to us}}. || {{w|Tau Ceti}} || ''{{w|Zero Wing}}'' || 2001 || 11.9 ly || 2013 || This is a meme resulting from a mistranslated line in the game ''Zero Wing''. The correct translation was "We have taken all of your bases."
|-
| Take me to your leader! – No, Steve. || {{w|Beta Cassiopeiae|Caph}} || {{w|Take me to your leader (phrase)}} || 1957 || 55 ly || 2012 || "Take me to your leader" is a stock phrase attributed to aliens in 1950s science fiction during first contact. The first recorded instance is a New Yorker cartoon where aliens ask this question to a horse, illustrating the weirdness of aliens being able to communicate the phrase but not understanding the structure of society. Later usage was more sincere, with both humans and aliens asking each other to take them to their leaders. Since people near Caph would be aliens, one could ask them to take you to their leader. However, because the aliens on Caph are saying the meme to each other, the second speaker is personally familiar with the one making the request, apparently named Steve, which makes the request pointless. So the second speaker refuses the request because it is not important.
|-
| Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He ''waits.'' || {{w|Wolf 359}} || {{w|Chuck Norris facts}} || 2005 || 7.8 ly || 2013 || {{w|Chuck Norris}} was an American movie star, typically taking on roles where he would perform implausible feats of physical prowess. People online started making lists of many other implausible or impossible feats that Chuck Norris was supposedly capable of, including this one. Normal humans have a physiological need for {{w|sleep}}, with sleep deprivation having many negative health effects. That Chuck Norris does not sleep but instead waits implies a superhuman resistance to insomnia, while simultaneously explaining his inaction as a form of {{w|theodicy}}. Ironically, when Chuck Norris later died, his family opted to keep quiet about any cause of death, potentially enhancing this very meme.
|-
| ♬ Numa numa ♪ || {{w|Lalande 21185}} || {{w|Dragostea Din Tei|Numa Numa song}} || 2004 || 8.3 ly || 2012 || "Numa numa" is part of the lyrics of the chorus of a Romanian-language europop song {{w|Dragostea Din Tei}}. A webcam recording of {{w|Gary Brolsma}} enthousiastically singing along with the song was uploaded to youtube and widely shared.
|-
| I can haz? || {{w|WISE 1049-5319|Luhman 16}} || {{w|Lolcats}} || 2006 || 6.6 ± 0.5 ly || 2013 || An early image macro meme format was captioning pictures of cats, as alluded to in xkcd [[262]]. One popular image featured an overweight Scottish Fold cat with the caption "I can haz cheezburger?", implying the cat is overweight because it likes eating cheeseburgers.
|-
| ''Internets!'' || {{w|Luyten 726-8|Gliese 65}} || {{w|George W. Bush}} [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/internets Internet meme] || 2004 || 8.7 || 2013|| The word 'Internets' is an incorrect pluralisation of the word, popularised by former US president George Bush, in his response to a question asked by an audience member about the moral state of media in the US, during a debate at Washington University in 2000. His response is as follows: "''[…] We can have filters on Internets where public money is spent […] so if kids get on the Internet, there is not going to be pornography or violence coming in.''" This was majorly overlooked until he made the same mistake during the presidential debate against US Senator John Kerry in 2004. He repeated this as follows: "''I hear there's rumors on the, uh, Internets [pause] that we're going to have a draft. We're not going to have a draft, period.''"
|-
| Look at the tiny dancing Earth mammals! || {{w|Gliese 1}} || {{w|Hampster Dance}} and/or {{w|Dancing Baby}} || 1998 || 14 ly || 2012 || Hampster Dance was a website featuring a set of tiled animated {{w|GIF}}s of cartoon hamsters dancing. The Dancing Baby is an animated GIF of a computer generated human baby dancing in a {{w|cha-cha}} style. Gliese 1 is not familiar with hamsters and human species, but since they are both mammals it refers to one or both as "tiny dancing Earth mammals". It is unclear how Gliese 1 knows that they are mammals, or what mammals are.
|-
| ''Wasssuup!?!'' || {{w|Van Maanen's star}} || {{w|Budweiser (Anheuser-Busch)|Budweiser Beer}} advertising campaign || 1999 || 14 ly || 2013 || A compounded way of saying "What's up", a common greeting, with the compounded version being more common in 1990s' African American Vernacular English. In the commercial, two friends are lounging and watching a sports game, calling each other using an analog wired telephone. Using these telephones, multiple people in the same household could pick up phones connected to the same in-home telephone network and all participate in the conversation. Several other friends use this function to join the call and say "Wassuupp!?!" at each other in an escalatingly large group and then hang up to go back to doing their own thing.
|-
| Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker. || {{w|Beta Hydri}} || ''{{w|Die Hard}}'' || 1988 || 24 ly || 2012 || This line gained notoriety for being censored in subsequent releases as "Yippie-ki-yay, Mr. Falcon".
|-
| I pity the fool! || {{w|Groombridge 1830}} || ''{{w|Rocky III}}'' ({{w|Mr. T}}) || 1982 || 30 ly || 2012 || In Rocky III, the main antagonist Clubber Lang expresses pity towards protagonist Rocky Balboa, who is foolish enough to compete with him in a boxing match. The implication being that Lang is obviously going to win and cause Balboa a lot of unnecessary pain. The actor playing Clubber Lang, Mr. T, adopted this as his catchphrase, using it in different media.
|-
| The cake is a lie! || {{w|Alpha Centauri|Alpha Centauri A/B}} || ''{{w|Portal (video game)|Portal}}'' || 2007 || 4.3 ly || 2011 || This is a phrase that appears scrawled on a wall in the video game Portal foreshadowing the ending where, despite being promised cake, the player character is not given it and is almost killed by the antagonist.
|-
| ♪ Never gonna give you up ♫ || {{w|Alpha Centauri|Alpha Centauri A/B}} || {{w|Rickrolling}} || 2007 || 4.3 ly || 2011 || This is a reference to an act of tricking someone to watch/listen to the song "Never Gonna Give You Up" involuntarily.
|-
| I'm on a boat! || {{w|Proxima Centauri}} || ''{{w|I'm on a Boat}}'' || 2009 || 4.243 ± 0.002 ly || 2013 || The hook of a satirical hip-hop single with the same name, by {{w|The Lonely Island}} and {{w|T-Pain}}. The song is about winning a free boat ride and then being ridiculously proud of being on a boat.
|-
| ♫ Chocolate Raaaiiin ♫ || {{w|Barnard's Star}} || {{w|Tay Zonday}}: {{w|Chocolate Rain}} video || 2007 || 6 ly || 2013 || Chocolate Rain is a song uploaded to youtube by Tay Zonday, with video of him recording the voice track. "Chocolate rain" is the {{w|hook (music)|hook}} of the song that recurs every other line, and in the lyrics chocolate rain serves as an analogy for systemic racism.
|-
| Leave Britney alone! || {{w|Barnard's Star}} || {{w|Cara Cunningham}}: [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/leave-britney-alone LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!] || 2007 || 6 ly || 2013 || {{w|Britney Spears}} is an American singer and pop star, who was ridiculed by the press and popular discourse for drama in her personal life. A highly watched early youtube video featured Cara filming herself in a highly emotional state, begging people to "leave Britney alone" because she had it hard enough.
|-
| You're the man now, dog! || {{w|Epsilon Indi}} || {{w|YTMND}} || 2001 || 11.8 || 2013 ||
|-
| {{w|More cowbell|More cowbell!}} || {{w|Kruger 60}} || ''{{w|Saturday Night Live}}'' || 2000 || 13 ly || 2013 || Saturday Night Live is a famous show that creates comedy sketchs every Saturday night. One of these sketches was the "More cowbell" sketch. This sketch was about the recording of "{{w|(Don't Fear) The Reaper}}", a song by the {{w|Blue Öyster Cult}}. In this skit, Gene Frenkle (a fictional character, played by {{w|Will Ferrell}}) was playing the {{w| Cowbell (instrument)|cowbell}}. However, because the cowbell was so distracting, the band stops playing and tells him to stop. This upsets Frenkel, who starts playing more and more annoyingly as the sketch goes on. {{w|Bruce Dickinson}}, played by {{w|Christopher Walken}}, encourages Frenkel to play the cowbell louder saying the iconic line, "Guess what! I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell!".
Christopher Walken later said that the sketch "ruined his life", because of how popular it became.
|-
| Hasta la vista, baby. || {{w|Gliese 892}} || ''{{w|Terminator 2}}'' || 1991 || 21 ly || 2012 || This line originates from the Terminator, said before attempting to destroy an enemy. It has since {{w|Hasta la vista, baby|been quoted in other works}}.
|-
| Let's get ready to ruuumble! || {{w|Zeta Tucanae}} || {{w|Michael Buffer}} || 1984 || 28 ly || 2012 || This meme originated from the main catchphrase of ring announcer Michael Buffer, which he has used since 1984. The catchphrase has also made an appearance in the 1996 Disney movie ''{{w|Space Jam}}''.
|-
| {{w|You talkin' to me? (phrase)|You talkin' to ''me?''}} || {{w|Arcturus}} || ''{{w|Taxi Driver}}'' || 1976 || 36.7 ± 0.3 ly || 2013 || Main character Travis Bickle says this as he imagines drawing his gun in a confrontation.
|-
| Did ''I'' do that? || {{w|Xi Boötis|Boötis}} || ''{{w|Family Matters}}'' ({{w|Steve Urkel}}) || 1989 || 21.89 ± 0.07 ly || 2011 || This is the catchphrase of Steve Urkel, a breakout character from Family Matters.
|-
| Welcome to Good Burger, home of the good burger. – What's a burger? – I don't know. || {{w|70 Ophiuchi}} || {{w|Good Burger}} slogan || 1997 || 16.58 ± 0.07 ly || 2014 || The first part is a line from the movie {{w|Good Burger}}. The second part, however, references that since these stars aren't from Earth, they wouldn't know what a burger is.
|-
| Badger badger badger badger || {{w|Ross 154}} || {{w|Badger Badger Badger}} || 2003 || 9.7 ly || 2013 || One of the most popular videos created by Mr. Weebl, consisting of badgers (and a mushroom and snake) appearing when those words are said.
|-
| {{w|Vulcan salute|Live long and prosper.}} – OK. || {{w|HD 211415}} || ''{{w|Star Trek}}'' || 1967 || 44 ly || 2011 || Said mostly by the Vulcans of Star Trek as a greeting and gesture of good will, most notably Spock during the run of the original series.
|-
| Name's Bond. James Bond. || {{w|51 Pegasi}} || ''{{w|Dr. No (film)|Dr. No}}'' ({{w|James Bond}}) || 1962 || 50.9 ± 0.3 ly || 2013 || James Bond is the protagonist of a series of spy fiction, who has a habit of introducing himself with this exact phrase.
|-
| Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. || {{w|Alpha Serpentis}} || ''{{w|Gone with the Wind (film)|Gone with the Wind}}'' || 1939 || 74.0 ± 0.3 ly || 2013 || "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn" is the signature catchphrase from the 1939 movie ''{{w|Gone With The Wind (film)|Gone With The Wind}}'', which starred {{w|Clark Gable}} and {{w|Vivien Leigh}}. The phrase is spoken by Gable's character {{w|Rhett Butler}} as his last line, in answer to {{w|Scarlett O'Hara}} (Leigh) asking "Where shall I go? What shall I do?"
|-
| Mr. T ate my balls! || {{w|Altair}} || [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/ate-my-balls an Internet meme] || 1996 || 16.7 ly || 2013 || One of the oldest memes on the Web, with the original website by student Nehal Patel (which consisted of a bunch of Mr. T comic images recaptioned to have him saying he likes eating balls) first appearing in 1996.
|-
| I want the truth. – ''You can't handle the truth!'' || {{w|Delta Pavonis}} || ''{{w|A Few Good Men}}'' || 1992 || 20 ly || 2012 || These lines are given during a climactic testimony near the end of the film. They are versatile enough to be quoted in many situations.
|-
| I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse. || {{w|Beta Trianguli Australis}} || ''{{w|The Godfather}}'' || 1972 || 40 ly || 2012 || Don Vito Corleone, the eponymous Godfather, uses this phrase when he intends to secure someone's cooperation via by threatening them with violence.
|-
| {{w|Resistance is futile|Resistance is futile.}} || {{w|Vega}} || ''{{w|Star Trek}}'' ({{w|Borg (Star Trek)|Borg}}) || 1988 || 25 ly || 2013 || The Borg are a fictional hypercollectivist superpower in the Milky Way galaxy depicted in the Star Trek franchise. The Borg expand by violently conquering the hundreds of species that exist in the galaxy, using cyborg implants to force conquered people to work for their collective in body and mind. When a Borg spaceship encounters resistance, it sends out a standard message explaining its intent to add the to-be-conquered people's biological and cultural distinctiveness to their own, and that resistance is futile.
|-
| Oh... My... Gaawd || {{w|Sigma Draconis}} || ''{{w|Friends}}'' ({{w|Janice Goralnik}}) || 1994 || 18.8 ly || 2013 ||
|-
| Ehh, what's up, Doc? || {{w|Epsilon Cygni|Gienah}} || {{w|Bugs Bunny}} || 1940 || 73 ly || 2013 || This is the main catchphrase of Bugs Bunny, one of the main characters in ''{{w|Looney Tunes}}''.
|-
| ''EXTERMINATE!'' || {{w|Alpha Cephei|Alderamin}} || ''{{w|Doctor Who}}'' ({{w|Dalek|The Daleks}}) || 1963 || 49 ly || 2012 || The main catchphrase of the Daleks of Doctor Who, used when they fire their gunsticks resulting in the extermination of whatever was hit. It wasn't actually used in this context in the TV series until Power of the Daleks, three years after {{w|The Daleks|their debut}}, though some of the very first scenes had them discussing amongst themselves the "extermination" of their newly rediscovered (and, at that time, mostly oblivious) enemies.
|}

==Transcript==
:[On a black background yellow circles and white bubbles are shown. Caption above the picture:]
:If other star systems are listening in on our pop culture, given the speed-of-light delay, these are the jokes and catchphrases they just learned about and are currently repeating way too much:

:[On a black background a map of star systems in relation to the Sun, which is roughly in the center, sending out radio waves is shown. Each star is a yellow circle of differing sizes, with a speech bubble (or more). The list is ordered from closest to furthest.]
:Proxima Centauri: I'm on a boat!
:Alpha Centauri A B: The cake is a lie! – ♪ Never gonna give you up ♫
:Luhman 16: I can haz?
:Barnard's star: Leave Britney alone! – ♫ Chocolate Raaaiiin ♫
:Wolf 359: Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.
:Lalande 21185: ♬ Numa numa ♪
:Sirius: I still can't believe Bellatrix– – Dude, get over it.
:Gliese 65: INTERNETS!
:Epsilon Eridani: Ninjas fight all the time!
:Procyon: ...God kills a kitten! – A what?
:Epsilon Indi: You're the man now, dog!
:Tau Ceti: All your base are belong to us.
:Luyten's Star: Peanut Butter Jelly Time!
:Kapteyn's star: My spoon is too big!
:Kruger 60: MORE COWBELL!
:Gliese 1: Look at the tiny dancing Earth mammals!
:Van Maanen's star: WASSSUUP!?!
:Ad Leonis: Oh my God, they killed Kenny! – You bastards!
:70 Ophiuchi: Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. – What's a burger? – I don't know.
:Altair: Mr. T ate my balls!
:Sigma Draconis: Oh ... my ... gaawd.
:Delta Pavonis: I want the truth. – You can't handle the truth!
:Gliese 892: Hasta la vista, baby.
:Xi Boötis: Did I do that?
:HR 753: D'oh!
:Beta Hydri: Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker.
:Vega: Resistance is futile.
:Zeta Tucanae: Let's get ready to ruuumble!
:HR 1614: Where's the beef?
:Groombridge 1830: I pity the fool!
:Delta Trianguli: May the Force be with you.
:Beta Virginis: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
:Arcturus: You talkin' to me ?
:Beta Trianguli Australis: I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse.
:Lamda Aurigae: You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?'
:Capella: And now for something completely different.
:HD 211415: Live long and prosper. – Ok.
:Alderamin: EXTERMINATE!
:51 Pegasi: Name's bond. James Bond.
:Caph: Take me to your leader! – No, Steve.
:Kappa Reticuli: Here's lookin' at you, kid.
:Alpha Hydri: Rosebud.
:Gienah: Ehh, what's up doc?
:Alpha Serpentis: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Rickrolling]]
[[Category:Fiction]]
[[Category:Doctor Who]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]
[[Category:Harry Potter]]
[[Category:Terminator]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]

3243: Crystal Gazing

2026-05-09T13:58:15Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3243
| date = May 8, 2026
| title = Crystal Gazing
| image = crystal_gazing_2x.png
| imagesize = 281x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'Beyond that lies a vale of fire through which my vision cannot penetrate' is the kind of fun thing geologists, heliophysicists, and early universe cosmologists have a lot of opportunities to say.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created over 4.54 billion nanoseconds ago. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A geologist dressed up as a wizard (assuming that isn't how they normally dress) announces — in archaic language befitting his costume — that he has determined the {{w|age of the Earth}} by analyzing {{w|zircon}}. Zircon is a crystal with the formula ZrSiO4. During its formation it can incorporate uranium instead of zirconium in its crystal lattice, but cannot incorporate lead. The uranium then decays (via several intermediates) into lead. Thus a sufficiently old zircon crystal will contain some lead, allowing geologists to calculate its age. This method is especially reliable since uranium-238 decays into lead-206 with a half-life of 4.5 billion years, while uranium-235 decays into lead-207 with a half-life of 0.7 billion years, allowing geologists to determine the age even if some lead was lost from the crystal.

A prophet of doom is someone who predicts impending disasters, especially the end of the world. (and there are lots of ridiculous ways that [https://what-if.xkcd.com/archive/ could happen.])These prophets and predictions are especially common in fantasy media. The joke in the caption is that someone who can determine when the world began is just doing this in reverse, and that's what geochronologists are doing when they calculate the age of the Earth. His last line, the beginning was nigh, is a past tense variation of what people who fear for the end of the world traditionally say(the end is nigh). This is in keeping with the idea represented in the comic.

The title text points out, in similar flowery language (in keeping with the character being a Tolkienesque portrayal of a wizard, where [https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Vales_of_Anduin vales] are part of the geographical language), that many areas of physical sciences are limited in how far back they can describe the world or universe. {{w|Geologists}} are limited by the age of the Earth (and maybe even to some time after that, as we have little evidence of its original molten form), {{w|heliophysicists}} can't determine the early nature of the Sun, and early universe {{w|cosmologists}} don't know what was happening during and before the {{w|big bang}}. The Earth, stars, and the early Universe each passed through a state of extreme heat and chaos that makes it impossible or extremely difficult to accurately predict its earliest state based on its current state: a somewhat literal "vale of fire."

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A character in wizard garb with long beard and hair talks to Cueball. To the left of the wizard is a poster with illegible text over a graph with two lines intersecting.]

:Wizard: By gazing into my crystals of zircon, I have divined the date of the hour of fire marking the limit of this world's existence.
:Wizard: 4.54 billion years ago, the beginning was nigh!

:[Caption below comic:]
:Geochronologists are just reverse prophets of doom.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Geology]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

3243: Crystal Gazing

2026-05-09T13:57:50Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3243
| date = May 8, 2026
| title = Crystal Gazing
| image = crystal_gazing_2x.png
| imagesize = 281x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'Beyond that lies a vale of fire through which my vision cannot penetrate' is the kind of fun thing geologists, heliophysicists, and early universe cosmologists have a lot of opportunities to say.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created over 4.54 billion nanoseconds ago. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A geologist dressed up as a wizard (assuming that isn't how they normally dress) announces — in archaic language befitting his costume — that he has determined the {{w|age of the Earth}} by analyzing {{w|zircon}}. Zircon is a crystal with the formula ZrSiO4. During its formation it can incorporate uranium instead of zirconium in its crystal lattice, but cannot incorporate lead. The uranium then decays (via several intermediates) into lead. Thus a sufficiently old zircon crystal will contain some lead, allowing geologists to calculate its age. This method is especially reliable since uranium-238 decays into lead-206 with a half-life of 4.5 billion years, while uranium-235 decays into lead-207 with a half-life of 0.7 billion years, allowing geologists to determine the age even if some lead was lost from the crystal.

A prophet of doom is someone who predicts impending disasters, especially the end of the world. (and there are lots of ridiculous ways that [https://what-if.xkcd.com/archive/could happen.])These prophets and predictions are especially common in fantasy media. The joke in the caption is that someone who can determine when the world began is just doing this in reverse, and that's what geochronologists are doing when they calculate the age of the Earth. His last line, the beginning was nigh, is a past tense variation of what people who fear for the end of the world traditionally say(the end is nigh). This is in keeping with the idea represented in the comic.

The title text points out, in similar flowery language (in keeping with the character being a Tolkienesque portrayal of a wizard, where [https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Vales_of_Anduin vales] are part of the geographical language), that many areas of physical sciences are limited in how far back they can describe the world or universe. {{w|Geologists}} are limited by the age of the Earth (and maybe even to some time after that, as we have little evidence of its original molten form), {{w|heliophysicists}} can't determine the early nature of the Sun, and early universe {{w|cosmologists}} don't know what was happening during and before the {{w|big bang}}. The Earth, stars, and the early Universe each passed through a state of extreme heat and chaos that makes it impossible or extremely difficult to accurately predict its earliest state based on its current state: a somewhat literal "vale of fire."

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A character in wizard garb with long beard and hair talks to Cueball. To the left of the wizard is a poster with illegible text over a graph with two lines intersecting.]

:Wizard: By gazing into my crystals of zircon, I have divined the date of the hour of fire marking the limit of this world's existence.
:Wizard: 4.54 billion years ago, the beginning was nigh!

:[Caption below comic:]
:Geochronologists are just reverse prophets of doom.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Geology]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

3243: Crystal Gazing

2026-05-09T13:56:33Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3243
| date = May 8, 2026
| title = Crystal Gazing
| image = crystal_gazing_2x.png
| imagesize = 281x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'Beyond that lies a vale of fire through which my vision cannot penetrate' is the kind of fun thing geologists, heliophysicists, and early universe cosmologists have a lot of opportunities to say.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created over 4.54 billion nanoseconds ago. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A geologist dressed up as a wizard (assuming that isn't how they normally dress) announces — in archaic language befitting his costume — that he has determined the {{w|age of the Earth}} by analyzing {{w|zircon}}. Zircon is a crystal with the formula ZrSiO4. During its formation it can incorporate uranium instead of zirconium in its crystal lattice, but cannot incorporate lead. The uranium then decays (via several intermediates) into lead. Thus a sufficiently old zircon crystal will contain some lead, allowing geologists to calculate its age. This method is especially reliable since uranium-238 decays into lead-206 with a half-life of 4.5 billion years, while uranium-235 decays into lead-207 with a half-life of 0.7 billion years, allowing geologists to determine the age even if some lead was lost from the crystal.

A prophet of doom is someone who predicts impending disasters, especially the end of the world. (and there are lots of ridiculous ways that [https://what-if.xkcd.com/archive/|could happen.])These prophets and predictions are especially common in fantasy media. The joke in the caption is that someone who can determine when the world began is just doing this in reverse, and that's what geochronologists are doing when they calculate the age of the Earth. His last line, the beginning was nigh, is a past tense variation of what people who fear for the end of the world traditionally say(the end is nigh). This is in keeping with the idea represented in the comic.

The title text points out, in similar flowery language (in keeping with the character being a Tolkienesque portrayal of a wizard, where [https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Vales_of_Anduin vales] are part of the geographical language), that many areas of physical sciences are limited in how far back they can describe the world or universe. {{w|Geologists}} are limited by the age of the Earth (and maybe even to some time after that, as we have little evidence of its original molten form), {{w|heliophysicists}} can't determine the early nature of the Sun, and early universe {{w|cosmologists}} don't know what was happening during and before the {{w|big bang}}. The Earth, stars, and the early Universe each passed through a state of extreme heat and chaos that makes it impossible or extremely difficult to accurately predict its earliest state based on its current state: a somewhat literal "vale of fire."

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A character in wizard garb with long beard and hair talks to Cueball. To the left of the wizard is a poster with illegible text over a graph with two lines intersecting.]

:Wizard: By gazing into my crystals of zircon, I have divined the date of the hour of fire marking the limit of this world's existence.
:Wizard: 4.54 billion years ago, the beginning was nigh!

:[Caption below comic:]
:Geochronologists are just reverse prophets of doom.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Geology]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

3243: Crystal Gazing

2026-05-09T13:55:01Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3243
| date = May 8, 2026
| title = Crystal Gazing
| image = crystal_gazing_2x.png
| imagesize = 281x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'Beyond that lies a vale of fire through which my vision cannot penetrate' is the kind of fun thing geologists, heliophysicists, and early universe cosmologists have a lot of opportunities to say.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created over 4.54 billion nanoseconds ago. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A geologist dressed up as a wizard (assuming that isn't how they normally dress) announces — in archaic language befitting his costume — that he has determined the {{w|age of the Earth}} by analyzing {{w|zircon}}. Zircon is a crystal with the formula ZrSiO4. During its formation it can incorporate uranium instead of zirconium in its crystal lattice, but cannot incorporate lead. The uranium then decays (via several intermediates) into lead. Thus a sufficiently old zircon crystal will contain some lead, allowing geologists to calculate its age. This method is especially reliable since uranium-238 decays into lead-206 with a half-life of 4.5 billion years, while uranium-235 decays into lead-207 with a half-life of 0.7 billion years, allowing geologists to determine the age even if some lead was lost from the crystal.

A prophet of doom is someone who predicts impending disasters, especially the end of the world. (and there are lots of ridiculous ways that {{https://what-if.xkcd.com/archive/|could happen.}})These prophets and predictions are especially common in fantasy media. The joke in the caption is that someone who can determine when the world began is just doing this in reverse, and that's what geochronologists are doing when they calculate the age of the Earth. His last line, the beginning was nigh, is a past tense variation of what people who fear for the end of the world traditionally say(the end is nigh). This is in keeping with the idea represented in the comic.

The title text points out, in similar flowery language (in keeping with the character being a Tolkienesque portrayal of a wizard, where [https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Vales_of_Anduin vales] are part of the geographical language), that many areas of physical sciences are limited in how far back they can describe the world or universe. {{w|Geologists}} are limited by the age of the Earth (and maybe even to some time after that, as we have little evidence of its original molten form), {{w|heliophysicists}} can't determine the early nature of the Sun, and early universe {{w|cosmologists}} don't know what was happening during and before the {{w|big bang}}. The Earth, stars, and the early Universe each passed through a state of extreme heat and chaos that makes it impossible or extremely difficult to accurately predict its earliest state based on its current state: a somewhat literal "vale of fire."

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A character in wizard garb with long beard and hair talks to Cueball. To the left of the wizard is a poster with illegible text over a graph with two lines intersecting.]

:Wizard: By gazing into my crystals of zircon, I have divined the date of the hour of fire marking the limit of this world's existence.
:Wizard: 4.54 billion years ago, the beginning was nigh!

:[Caption below comic:]
:Geochronologists are just reverse prophets of doom.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Geology]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

3243: Crystal Gazing

2026-05-09T13:50:54Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3243
| date = May 8, 2026
| title = Crystal Gazing
| image = crystal_gazing_2x.png
| imagesize = 281x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'Beyond that lies a vale of fire through which my vision cannot penetrate' is the kind of fun thing geologists, heliophysicists, and early universe cosmologists have a lot of opportunities to say.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created over 4.54 billion nanoseconds ago. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A geologist dressed up as a wizard (assuming that isn't how they normally dress) announces — in archaic language befitting his costume — that he has determined the {{w|age of the Earth}} by analyzing {{w|zircon}}. Zircon is a crystal with the formula ZrSiO4. During its formation it can incorporate uranium instead of zirconium in its crystal lattice, but cannot incorporate lead. The uranium then decays (via several intermediates) into lead. Thus a sufficiently old zircon crystal will contain some lead, allowing geologists to calculate its age. This method is especially reliable since uranium-238 decays into lead-206 with a half-life of 4.5 billion years, while uranium-235 decays into lead-207 with a half-life of 0.7 billion years, allowing geologists to determine the age even if some lead was lost from the crystal.

A prophet of doom is someone who predicts impending disasters, especially the end of the world. (and there are lots of ridiculous ways that [what-if.xkcd.com|could happen.])These prophets and predictions are especially common in fantasy media. The joke in the caption is that someone who can determine when the world began is just doing this in reverse, and that's what geochronologists are doing when they calculate the age of the Earth. His last line, the beginning was nigh, is a past tense variation of what people who fear for the end of the world traditionally say(the end is nigh). This is in keeping with the idea represented in the comic.

The title text points out, in similar flowery language (in keeping with the character being a Tolkienesque portrayal of a wizard, where [https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Vales_of_Anduin vales] are part of the geographical language), that many areas of physical sciences are limited in how far back they can describe the world or universe. {{w|Geologists}} are limited by the age of the Earth (and maybe even to some time after that, as we have little evidence of its original molten form), {{w|heliophysicists}} can't determine the early nature of the Sun, and early universe {{w|cosmologists}} don't know what was happening during and before the {{w|big bang}}. The Earth, stars, and the early Universe each passed through a state of extreme heat and chaos that makes it impossible or extremely difficult to accurately predict its earliest state based on its current state: a somewhat literal "vale of fire."

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A character in wizard garb with long beard and hair talks to Cueball. To the left of the wizard is a poster with illegible text over a graph with two lines intersecting.]

:Wizard: By gazing into my crystals of zircon, I have divined the date of the hour of fire marking the limit of this world's existence.
:Wizard: 4.54 billion years ago, the beginning was nigh!

:[Caption below comic:]
:Geochronologists are just reverse prophets of doom.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Geology]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

3243: Crystal Gazing

2026-05-09T13:50:16Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3243
| date = May 8, 2026
| title = Crystal Gazing
| image = crystal_gazing_2x.png
| imagesize = 281x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'Beyond that lies a vale of fire through which my vision cannot penetrate' is the kind of fun thing geologists, heliophysicists, and early universe cosmologists have a lot of opportunities to say.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created over 4.54 billion nanoseconds ago. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A geologist dressed up as a wizard (assuming that isn't how they normally dress) announces — in archaic language befitting his costume — that he has determined the {{w|age of the Earth}} by analyzing {{w|zircon}}. Zircon is a crystal with the formula ZrSiO4. During its formation it can incorporate uranium instead of zirconium in its crystal lattice, but cannot incorporate lead. The uranium then decays (via several intermediates) into lead. Thus a sufficiently old zircon crystal will contain some lead, allowing geologists to calculate its age. This method is especially reliable since uranium-238 decays into lead-206 with a half-life of 4.5 billion years, while uranium-235 decays into lead-207 with a half-life of 0.7 billion years, allowing geologists to determine the age even if some lead was lost from the crystal.

A prophet of doom is someone who predicts impending disasters, especially the end of the world. (and there are lots of ridiculous ways that {{what-if.xkcd.com|could happen.}})These prophets and predictions are especially common in fantasy media. The joke in the caption is that someone who can determine when the world began is just doing this in reverse, and that's what geochronologists are doing when they calculate the age of the Earth. His last line, the beginning was nigh, is a past tense variation of what people who fear for the end of the world traditionally say(the end is nigh). This is in keeping with the idea represented in the comic.

The title text points out, in similar flowery language (in keeping with the character being a Tolkienesque portrayal of a wizard, where [https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Vales_of_Anduin vales] are part of the geographical language), that many areas of physical sciences are limited in how far back they can describe the world or universe. {{w|Geologists}} are limited by the age of the Earth (and maybe even to some time after that, as we have little evidence of its original molten form), {{w|heliophysicists}} can't determine the early nature of the Sun, and early universe {{w|cosmologists}} don't know what was happening during and before the {{w|big bang}}. The Earth, stars, and the early Universe each passed through a state of extreme heat and chaos that makes it impossible or extremely difficult to accurately predict its earliest state based on its current state: a somewhat literal "vale of fire."

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A character in wizard garb with long beard and hair talks to Cueball. To the left of the wizard is a poster with illegible text over a graph with two lines intersecting.]

:Wizard: By gazing into my crystals of zircon, I have divined the date of the hour of fire marking the limit of this world's existence.
:Wizard: 4.54 billion years ago, the beginning was nigh!

:[Caption below comic:]
:Geochronologists are just reverse prophets of doom.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Geology]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

3243: Crystal Gazing

2026-05-09T13:48:40Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3243
| date = May 8, 2026
| title = Crystal Gazing
| image = crystal_gazing_2x.png
| imagesize = 281x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'Beyond that lies a vale of fire through which my vision cannot penetrate' is the kind of fun thing geologists, heliophysicists, and early universe cosmologists have a lot of opportunities to say.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created over 4.54 billion nanoseconds ago. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A geologist dressed up as a wizard (assuming that isn't how they normally dress) announces — in archaic language befitting his costume — that he has determined the {{w|age of the Earth}} by analyzing {{w|zircon}}. Zircon is a crystal with the formula ZrSiO4. During its formation it can incorporate uranium instead of zirconium in its crystal lattice, but cannot incorporate lead. The uranium then decays (via several intermediates) into lead. Thus a sufficiently old zircon crystal will contain some lead, allowing geologists to calculate its age. This method is especially reliable since uranium-238 decays into lead-206 with a half-life of 4.5 billion years, while uranium-235 decays into lead-207 with a half-life of 0.7 billion years, allowing geologists to determine the age even if some lead was lost from the crystal.

A prophet of doom is someone who predicts impending disasters, especially the end of the world. (and there are lots of ridiculous ways that {{What If|could happen.}})These prophets and predictions are especially common in fantasy media. The joke in the caption is that someone who can determine when the world began is just doing this in reverse, and that's what geochronologists are doing when they calculate the age of the Earth. His last line, the beginning was nigh, is a past tense variation of what people who fear for the end of the world traditionally say(the end is nigh). This is in keeping with the idea represented in the comic.

The title text points out, in similar flowery language (in keeping with the character being a Tolkienesque portrayal of a wizard, where [https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Vales_of_Anduin vales] are part of the geographical language), that many areas of physical sciences are limited in how far back they can describe the world or universe. {{w|Geologists}} are limited by the age of the Earth (and maybe even to some time after that, as we have little evidence of its original molten form), {{w|heliophysicists}} can't determine the early nature of the Sun, and early universe {{w|cosmologists}} don't know what was happening during and before the {{w|big bang}}. The Earth, stars, and the early Universe each passed through a state of extreme heat and chaos that makes it impossible or extremely difficult to accurately predict its earliest state based on its current state: a somewhat literal "vale of fire."

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A character in wizard garb with long beard and hair talks to Cueball. To the left of the wizard is a poster with illegible text over a graph with two lines intersecting.]

:Wizard: By gazing into my crystals of zircon, I have divined the date of the hour of fire marking the limit of this world's existence.
:Wizard: 4.54 billion years ago, the beginning was nigh!

:[Caption below comic:]
:Geochronologists are just reverse prophets of doom.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Geology]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

3243: Crystal Gazing

2026-05-09T13:44:58Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3243
| date = May 8, 2026
| title = Crystal Gazing
| image = crystal_gazing_2x.png
| imagesize = 281x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'Beyond that lies a vale of fire through which my vision cannot penetrate' is the kind of fun thing geologists, heliophysicists, and early universe cosmologists have a lot of opportunities to say.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created over 4.54 billion nanoseconds ago. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A geologist dressed up as a wizard (assuming that isn't how they normally dress) announces — in archaic language befitting his costume — that he has determined the {{w|age of the Earth}} by analyzing {{w|zircon}}. Zircon is a crystal with the formula ZrSiO4. During its formation it can incorporate uranium instead of zirconium in its crystal lattice, but cannot incorporate lead. The uranium then decays (via several intermediates) into lead. Thus a sufficiently old zircon crystal will contain some lead, allowing geologists to calculate its age. This method is especially reliable since uranium-238 decays into lead-206 with a half-life of 4.5 billion years, while uranium-235 decays into lead-207 with a half-life of 0.7 billion years, allowing geologists to determine the age even if some lead was lost from the crystal.

A prophet of doom is someone who predicts impending disasters, especially the end of the world. These are especially common in fantasy media. The joke in the caption is that someone who can determine when the world began is just doing this in reverse, and that's what geochronologists are doing when they calculate the age of the Earth. His last line, the beginning was nigh, is a past tense variation of what people who fear for the end of the world traditionally say(the end is nigh). This is in keeping with the idea represented in the comic.

The title text points out, in similar flowery language (in keeping with the character being a Tolkienesque portrayal of a wizard, where [https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Vales_of_Anduin vales] are part of the geographical language), that many areas of physical sciences are limited in how far back they can describe the world or universe. {{w|Geologists}} are limited by the age of the Earth (and maybe even to some time after that, as we have little evidence of its original molten form), {{w|heliophysicists}} can't determine the early nature of the Sun, and early universe {{w|cosmologists}} don't know what was happening during and before the {{w|big bang}}. The Earth, stars, and the early Universe each passed through a state of extreme heat and chaos that makes it impossible or extremely difficult to accurately predict its earliest state based on its current state: a somewhat literal "vale of fire."

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A character in wizard garb with long beard and hair talks to Cueball. To the left of the wizard is a poster with illegible text over a graph with two lines intersecting.]

:Wizard: By gazing into my crystals of zircon, I have divined the date of the hour of fire marking the limit of this world's existence.
:Wizard: 4.54 billion years ago, the beginning was nigh!

:[Caption below comic:]
:Geochronologists are just reverse prophets of doom.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Geology]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

3243: Crystal Gazing

2026-05-09T13:36:28Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3243
| date = May 8, 2026
| title = Crystal Gazing
| image = crystal_gazing_2x.png
| imagesize = 281x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'Beyond that lies a vale of fire through which my vision cannot penetrate' is the kind of fun thing geologists, heliophysicists, and early universe cosmologists have a lot of opportunities to say.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created over 4.54 billion nanoseconds ago. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A geologist dressed up as a wizard (assuming that isn't how they normally dress) announces — in archaic language befitting his costume — that he has determined the {{w|age of the Earth}} by analyzing {{w|zircon}}. Zircon is a crystal with the formula ZrSiO4. During its formation it can incorporate uranium instead of zirconium in its crystal lattice, but cannot incorporate lead. The uranium then decays (via several intermediates) into lead. Thus a sufficiently old zircon crystal will contain some lead, allowing geologists to calculate its age. This method is especially reliable since uranium-238 decays into lead-206 with a half-life of 4.5 billion years, while uranium-235 decays into lead-207 with a half-life of 0.7 billion years, allowing geologists to determine the age even if some lead was lost from the crystal.

A prophet of doom is someone who predicts impending disasters, especially the end of the world. These are especially common in fantasy media. The joke in the caption is that someone who can determine when the world began is just doing this in reverse, and that's what geochronologists are doing when they calculate the age of the Earth.

The title text points out, in similar flowery language (in keeping with the character being a Tolkienesque portrayal of a wizard, where [https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Vales_of_Anduin vales] are part of the geographical language), that many areas of physical sciences are limited in how far back they can describe the world or universe. {{w|Geologists}} are limited by the age of the Earth (and maybe even to some time after that, as we have little evidence of its original molten form), {{w|heliophysicists}} can't determine the early nature of the Sun, and early universe {{w|cosmologists}} don't know what was happening during and before the {{w|big bang}}. The Earth, stars, and the early Universe each passed through a state of extreme heat and chaos that makes it impossible or extremely difficult to accurately predict its earliest state based on its current state: a somewhat literal "vale of fire."

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A character in wizard garb with long beard and hair talks to Cueball. To the left of the wizard is a poster with illegible text over a graph with two lines intersecting.]

:Wizard: By gazing into my crystals of zircon, I have divined the date of the hour of fire marking the limit of this world's existence.
:Wizard: 4.54 billion years ago, the beginning was nigh!

:[Caption below comic:]
:Geochronologists are just reverse prophets of doom.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Geology]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

1099: Tuesdays

2026-05-08T00:49:38Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1099
| date = August 24, 2012
| title = Tuesdays
| image = tuesdays.png
| titletext = Try our bottomless drinks and fall forever!
}}

==Explanation==
[[Beret Guy]] and at least one other person ([[Megan]], [[Danish]], [[Hairbun]] or [[Jill]]) are sitting at a restaurant. The waitress, [[Ponytail]], tells Beret Guy there is a special on Tuesdays for "endless wings". Restaurants often have different daily discounts to encourage people to come in. In a normal restaurant, "endless wings" would presumably refer to "all-you-can-eat" {{w|chicken wings}}, meaning the customer can pay a flat price and eat all the chicken wings they want without having to pay any more.

However, in this comic, instead of ordering them by telling the waitress: "I'll have those", Beret Guy tells her: "i have those", meaning that he already has literal "endless wings" (similar issues of things being taken literally are referenced in [[1086: Eyelash Wish Log]] and [[1528: Vodka]]), and then begins to grow wings which ultimately appear "endless" as they grow to a span of at least the circumference of the Earth by the last panel (and presumably continue growing). The other characters scream in horror for obvious reasons.

The title text plays on another common restaurant offer of "bottomless drinks", meaning unlimited free refills of drinks. However, falling into something literally bottomless (i.e. without a bottom) would result in falling forever. (However, even this is unlikely unless the diameter of the cups that the drinks are served in is large enough to fit a whole person into.) If it was literally "bottomless", you would start to decelerate as you pass the earth's center of mass. The air pressure and heat in a "bottomless" pit would also be fatal to humans. By definition, being bottomless is impossible.

This is one of the few [[:Category:Comics with lowercase text|comics with lowercase text]].

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail serves Beret Guy and somebody else at a table.]
:Ponytail: ...and on Tuesdays we offer endless wings.
:Beret Guy: Haha, cool.
:Beret Guy: i have those.

:Ponytail: You what?

:[Beret Guy sprouts a pair of wings.]
:Ponytail: ''AAAAA!!''

:[Beret Guy's wings start getting longer.]
:Ponytail and Other person beret guy is sitting with: ''AAAAAAA''

:[Wings start to extend into space out from the earth.]
:Everyone: ''AAAAAAAA''

==Trivia==
*This is one of the few comics since the ''xkcd'' lettering became inked and standardized as all-caps that lowercase lettering has been used (including the word "i" which would normally be capitalized). In this case, the usage may be to denote a whisper or soft voice.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]

1623: 2016 Conversation Guide

2026-05-08T00:11:52Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1623
| date = December 30, 2015
| title = 2016 Conversation Guide
| image = 2016_conversation_guide.png
| titletext = The real loser in an argument about the meaning of the word 'hoverboard' is anyone who leaves that argument on foot.
}}

==Explanation==
[[File:Electric Flying Cars -- Advertisement, 1958 (51438281706).jpg|thumb|right|1958 poster advertising an electric future of freedom and horrible crashes]]
As each year turns (or other milestone dates, perhaps set out in popular fiction) it is common enough to remember that what is now the present was once considered ''the future!''

This [[:Category:New Year|New Year comic]], published just prior to the start of the {{w|New Year}}, 2016, aims to clarify a number of the things one might have expected by now. (Another New Year comic followed on New Year's Day: [[1624: 2016]], making it two in a row with titles beginning with 2016...) The classic target of personal futurology is the ability to levitate or fly, to varying degrees. This topic was discussed before in [[864: Flying Cars]], where [[Megan]] suggests that the real advances in futuristic technology are in computers and electronics, rather than methods of flying.

;Flying car
Various forms of {{w|Flying_car_(aircraft)|flying car}} have had varying {{w|AVE_Mizar|degrees}} of {{w|Moller_M400_Skycar|success}} (although it's debatable whether these examples are actually cars or just small airplanes), but the comic points out that the regular {{w|helicopter}} is as close as most of us would ever get to levitating personal vehicles. But the company Alef has successfully designed a flying car.

;Jetpack
"Where's my {{w|jet pack}}?" is a common {{tvtropes|IWantMyJetPack|trope}}. There are various systems and {{w|Astronaut propulsion unit|analogues}} that could be considered jet packs in some sense, but devices to let individuals fly on Earth would be extremely dangerous, even if they could be made practical. A functioning jetpack would risk elevating people to dangerous altitudes while potentially accelerating them to dangerous velocities, make it both difficult and dangerous to steer. The high likelihood of fatal crashes means that a viable product is unlikely to ever exist - unless technologies will allow to augment humans (such as genetic engineering or cybernetics) to such degree, that they could ram the ground at top speed and remain unharmed.

;Moon colony
The basic {{w|Apollo_program| science and engineering}} {{w|International Space Station|exists}} exists to build some form of permanently manned settlement on the Moon, but doing so would be extremely expensive. The technology to exploit lunar resources, either for construction or life support, has not yet been developed, so all equipment and supplies would need to be continually transported from Earth. Commercial potential of such a base would be extremely limited, and no organization or group has been willing to spend the kind of money it would take.

;Self-driving car
Randall notes that these are "coming surprisingly soon." Self-driving cars have not become nearly as ubiquitous as was frequently predicted in 2016. As of 2024 (9 years after the release of this comic), there are various forms of self-driving with various degrees of advancement. The most impressive would be [https://www.tesla.com/support/autopilot Tesla's full self-driving beta], which is capable of performing acceptably in most situations, except for parking lot navigation. Other than Tesla, companies such as Google, Waabi, and Euler Motors are working on self-driving vehicles, though Tesla remains the [https://electrek.co/2023/07/13/tesla-most-wanted-car-brand-us-study/ most well-known amongst the general public]. All these vehicles still require a human driver present.

Self-driving cars has become a [[:Category:Self-driving cars|recurring topic]] on xkcd and they were mentioned again already in the title text of [[1625: Substitutions 2]] just two comics after this one.

;Floating sky city
Various science fiction sources imagined the idea of floating cities (e.g. {{w|Bespin}}, {{w|Mortal Engines Quartet}}). In reality, this seems highly unlikely to happen in the foreseeable future. Absent some form of levitation technology that doesn't even exist as a concept yet, the only ways to keep things floating inside a planet's atmosphere are to make use of either buoyancy or continually providing thrust and/or lift. But "cities are heavy". The amount of mass that any kind of city would have would require either an implausibly large volume to float by buoyancy, or an incredible amount of energy (continually provided) to supply thrust or lift. With any foreseeable technology, that's unlikely to ever be practical.

;Hoverboard
[[File:Red self-balancing two-wheeled board with a person standing on it.png|thumb|right|A self-balancing scooter, marketed as a "hoverboard"]]
The {{w|Hoverboard|levitating Hoverboard}} has been popularised by the {{w|Back_to_the_Future_Part_II|''Back To The Future'' franchise}} of films, with several attempts to fully emulate such a device with air-blast or magnetic levitation, but the ''term'' "Hoverboard" has ended up being applied to a {{w|Segway}}-like {{w|Self-balancing_two-wheeled_board|personal transport system}} that has at least become a mass-produced device (albeit with a number of {{w|Self-balancing_two-wheeled_board#Safety|safety concerns}}) even if it doesn't fly or levitate. The very concept of the hoverboard was therefore predicted to be reduced mostly to arguments between opposing camps of opinions; and then, in the title-text, the conclusion that giving up and resorting to old-fashioned walking is inferior to ''any'' of the possible alternatives.

;Robot butler
A long-held science fiction vision is a robot (presumably humanoid), that can perform household tasks, taking that burden off people. Randall mentions "Jeeves", saying "he wasn't that great". This is presumably a reference to the early search site {{w|Ask Jeeves}}, which used a stereotypical butler name. The concept was that the search engine could take on tasks for you, much as a butler would. However, it was only a search engine, incapable of performing any physical tasks, extremely limited in the non-physical tasks it could perform, limited in its accessibility, and not even a particularly good search engine in the first place.

In a broader sense, there do exist an increasing number of automated systems to do specific household tasks (such as {{w|Roomba|vacuuming}}), and voice-activated systems that can perform virtual tasks, like keeping schedules and looking up information, are {{w|Amazon Alexa|increasingly widespread}}. To date, though, a generalized robot that can perform variety of physical tasks now exists in the form of the neo x1. Robots (both humanoid and otherwise) that can move and operate semi-autonomously are under development, but are neither sufficiently advanced nor sufficiently cost effective to replace human labor in most instances.

==Transcript==
:[A chart with three columns of text with only one entry to the left - which is written in the middle of the panel. Then there is one line going right from this text but soon it splits into seven lines going either up (3), almost straight (2) or down (2) ending in arrows that points to the next column with seven entries for different possible future inventions. From each of these entries a horizontal arrow continues to the last column at the right with seven more entries commenting on these inventions.]

:It's 2016 – Where's my...

::Flying car → They're called "helicopters"

::Jetpack → Turns out people are huge wimps about crashing

::Moon colony → No one has put up the cash

::Self-driving car → Coming surprisingly soon

::Floating sky city → Turns out cities are heavy

::Hoverboard → This question is now ambiguous thanks to a new scooter thing (and will lead to an argument about the meaning of "hoverboard" which is way less interesting than either kind of hoverboard)

::Robot butler → He was called "Jeeves" and he wasn't that great

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:New Year]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Robots]]
[[Category:Self-driving cars]]
[[Category:Back to the Future]]

1623: 2016 Conversation Guide

2026-05-08T00:10:17Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1623
| date = December 30, 2015
| title = 2016 Conversation Guide
| image = 2016_conversation_guide.png
| titletext = The real loser in an argument about the meaning of the word 'hoverboard' is anyone who leaves that argument on foot.
}}

==Explanation==
[[File:Electric Flying Cars -- Advertisement, 1958 (51438281706).jpg|thumb|right|1958 poster advertising an electric future of freedom and horrible crashes]]
As each year turns (or other milestone dates, perhaps set out in popular fiction) it is common enough to remember that what is now the present was once considered ''the future!''

This [[:Category:New Year|New Year comic]], published just prior to the start of the {{w|New Year}}, 2016, aims to clarify a number of the things one might have expected by now. (Another New Year comic followed on New Year's Day: [[1624: 2016]], making it two in a row with titles beginning with 2016...) The classic target of personal futurology is the ability to levitate or fly, to varying degrees. This topic was discussed before in [[864: Flying Cars]], where [[Megan]] suggests that the real advances in futuristic technology are in computers and electronics, rather than methods of flying.

;Flying car
Various forms of {{w|Flying_car_(aircraft)|flying car}} have had varying {{w|AVE_Mizar|degrees}} of {{w|Moller_M400_Skycar|success}} (although it's debatable whether these examples are actually cars or just small airplanes), but the comic points out that the regular {{w|helicopter}} is as close as most of us would ever get to levitating personal vehicles.

;Jetpack
"Where's my {{w|jet pack}}?" is a common {{tvtropes|IWantMyJetPack|trope}}. There are various systems and {{w|Astronaut propulsion unit|analogues}} that could be considered jet packs in some sense, but devices to let individuals fly on Earth would be extremely dangerous, even if they could be made practical. A functioning jetpack would risk elevating people to dangerous altitudes while potentially accelerating them to dangerous velocities, make it both difficult and dangerous to steer. The high likelihood of fatal crashes means that a viable product is unlikely to ever exist - unless technologies will allow to augment humans (such as genetic engineering or cybernetics) to such degree, that they could ram the ground at top speed and remain unharmed.

;Moon colony
The basic {{w|Apollo_program| science and engineering}} {{w|International Space Station|exists}} exists to build some form of permanently manned settlement on the Moon, but doing so would be extremely expensive. The technology to exploit lunar resources, either for construction or life support, has not yet been developed, so all equipment and supplies would need to be continually transported from Earth. Commercial potential of such a base would be extremely limited, and no organization or group has been willing to spend the kind of money it would take.

;Self-driving car
Randall notes that these are "coming surprisingly soon." Self-driving cars have not become nearly as ubiquitous as was frequently predicted in 2016. As of 2024 (9 years after the release of this comic), there are various forms of self-driving with various degrees of advancement. The most impressive would be [https://www.tesla.com/support/autopilot Tesla's full self-driving beta], which is capable of performing acceptably in most situations, except for parking lot navigation. Other than Tesla, companies such as Google, Waabi, and Euler Motors are working on self-driving vehicles, though Tesla remains the [https://electrek.co/2023/07/13/tesla-most-wanted-car-brand-us-study/ most well-known amongst the general public]. All these vehicles still require a human driver present.

Self-driving cars has become a [[:Category:Self-driving cars|recurring topic]] on xkcd and they were mentioned again already in the title text of [[1625: Substitutions 2]] just two comics after this one.

;Floating sky city
Various science fiction sources imagined the idea of floating cities (e.g. {{w|Bespin}}, {{w|Mortal Engines Quartet}}). In reality, this seems highly unlikely to happen in the foreseeable future. Absent some form of levitation technology that doesn't even exist as a concept yet, the only ways to keep things floating inside a planet's atmosphere are to make use of either buoyancy or continually providing thrust and/or lift. But "cities are heavy". The amount of mass that any kind of city would have would require either an implausibly large volume to float by buoyancy, or an incredible amount of energy (continually provided) to supply thrust or lift. With any foreseeable technology, that's unlikely to ever be practical.

;Hoverboard
[[File:Red self-balancing two-wheeled board with a person standing on it.png|thumb|right|A self-balancing scooter, marketed as a "hoverboard"]]
The {{w|Hoverboard|levitating Hoverboard}} has been popularised by the {{w|Back_to_the_Future_Part_II|''Back To The Future'' franchise}} of films, with several attempts to fully emulate such a device with air-blast or magnetic levitation, but the ''term'' "Hoverboard" has ended up being applied to a {{w|Segway}}-like {{w|Self-balancing_two-wheeled_board|personal transport system}} that has at least become a mass-produced device (albeit with a number of {{w|Self-balancing_two-wheeled_board#Safety|safety concerns}}) even if it doesn't fly or levitate. The very concept of the hoverboard was therefore predicted to be reduced mostly to arguments between opposing camps of opinions; and then, in the title-text, the conclusion that giving up and resorting to old-fashioned walking is inferior to ''any'' of the possible alternatives.

;Robot butler
A long-held science fiction vision is a robot (presumably humanoid), that can perform household tasks, taking that burden off people. Randall mentions "Jeeves", saying "he wasn't that great". This is presumably a reference to the early search site {{w|Ask Jeeves}}, which used a stereotypical butler name. The concept was that the search engine could take on tasks for you, much as a butler would. However, it was only a search engine, incapable of performing any physical tasks, extremely limited in the non-physical tasks it could perform, limited in its accessibility, and not even a particularly good search engine in the first place.

In a broader sense, there do exist an increasing number of automated systems to do specific household tasks (such as {{w|Roomba|vacuuming}}), and voice-activated systems that can perform virtual tasks, like keeping schedules and looking up information, are {{w|Amazon Alexa|increasingly widespread}}. To date, though, a generalized robot that can perform variety of physical tasks now exists in the form of the neo x1. Robots (both humanoid and otherwise) that can move and operate semi-autonomously are under development, but are neither sufficiently advanced nor sufficiently cost effective to replace human labor in most instances.

==Transcript==
:[A chart with three columns of text with only one entry to the left - which is written in the middle of the panel. Then there is one line going right from this text but soon it splits into seven lines going either up (3), almost straight (2) or down (2) ending in arrows that points to the next column with seven entries for different possible future inventions. From each of these entries a horizontal arrow continues to the last column at the right with seven more entries commenting on these inventions.]

:It's 2016 – Where's my...

::Flying car → They're called "helicopters"

::Jetpack → Turns out people are huge wimps about crashing

::Moon colony → No one has put up the cash

::Self-driving car → Coming surprisingly soon

::Floating sky city → Turns out cities are heavy

::Hoverboard → This question is now ambiguous thanks to a new scooter thing (and will lead to an argument about the meaning of "hoverboard" which is way less interesting than either kind of hoverboard)

::Robot butler → He was called "Jeeves" and he wasn't that great

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:New Year]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Robots]]
[[Category:Self-driving cars]]
[[Category:Back to the Future]]

3241: Horizontal Stabilizers

2026-05-06T00:17:44Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3241
| date = May 5, 2026
| title = Horizontal Stabilizers
| image = horizontal_stabilizers_2x.png
| imagesize = 436x341px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = It started as a mistake that everyone was afraid to admit to, and then it stuck because removing it 'looks silly.'.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created HORIZONTALLY. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

The {{w|Stabilizer (aircraft)#Horizontal_stabilizers|horizonal stabilizer}}, which is a part of the {{w|tailplane}}, is part of the aircraft which typically provides extra longitudinal balance to the airplane, with the tailplane maintaining balance and control of the aircraft. Although some alternate types of airframe work without them, e.g. making use of more complex main wing control surfaces, most (and the most common) aircraft use {{w|Tailplane#Tailplane types|some version or other}} of tailplane. The structure of aircraft varies based on what it {{What If|30|has to do}}

This comic jokes that horizontal stabilizers are an accident of design, and not at all necessary. The original construction of some particular plane only had a small wings, but this wasn't big enough to be useful. Rather than rebuild from scratch, they just added the rest of the fuselage with its full-sized wings and continued to use the original insufficient fuselage and 'wings' in the manner of a tailplane.

The title text takes this even further, because it states that people deliberately ignored that this new part on airplanes was not necessary. And later, whenever they decided to remove the feature (perhaps to save weight, or just 'complexity') they noticed that the plane "looked weird" and so put them back on only because it was expected. There are some {{w|tailless aircraft}}, and many people do consider them unusual looking.{{cn}}

Some aircraft, including the original {{w|Wright Flyer}}, have the horizontal stabilizers in the front rather than the tail section.

==Trivia==
*This is a rare [[:Category:Tuesday comics|Tuesday comic]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[Cueball and Ponytail are standing, looking up at an airplane in the sky. Cueball is pointing at the airplane.]
:Cueball: What's with the little wings on the tails of the airplanes? Do they really need them?
:Ponytail: They're horizontal stabilizers. They serve a crucial aerodynamic role.

:[Hairy, Cueball, and Megan are standing in a room, with Hairy on the left of a small fuselage segment with small wings attached to the sides of it, while Cueball and Megan are standing on the right of it. Hairy has his arms raised. There is a box at the top of the panel with text.]
:Top Box: "Previously, at the airplane factory:"
:Hairy: These wings you made are way too small! The plane is supposed to be much bigger!
:Cueball: Sorry! We'll start over.
:Hairy: No, there's no time. Just make it longer and put the bigger wings on the new section.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Aviation]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

1840: Genetic Testing Results

2026-05-04T00:53:51Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1840
| date = May 22, 2017
| title = Genetic Testing Results
| image = genetic_testing_results.png
| titletext = That's very exciting! The bad news is that it's a risk factor for a lot of things.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Ponytail]] [[1839|continues]] [[Cueball]]'s medical checkup with a genetic test. {{w|Genetic test}}s show people genetic diseases that they might be at risk for and/or give them insight into their ancestry. In this case, the genetic results are extremely obvious: His genes are part of a long line of genes stretching back to some of the earliest life forms to have genes. This information is universally true - ''every'' known organism has such a genetic history - which makes it so vague as to be useless for either medicine or ancestry. Every animal shares genes from the first living organism, known as LUCA(last universal common ancestor).

In epidemiology, a risk factor is a variable associated with an increased risk of disease or infection. The title text says that this is a risk factor because being a living organism is, trivially, associated with every disease that exists.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is seated on an medical examination table while Ponytail stands dressed in a doctor's coat holding a file in her right hand.]
:Ponytail: Your genetic test results are back. Apparently you're part of an unbroken lineage stretching back billions of years to the early Earth!

==Trivia==
*Randall has previously joked about what should be the obvious results of genetic testing in [[830: Genetic Analysis]].

*Randall makes a similar joke in the title text to [[674: Natural Parenting]]: "On one hand, every single one of my ancestors going back billions of years has managed to figure [having kids] out. On the other hand, that's the mother of all sampling biases."

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Doctor Ponytail]]

3240: Bottle

2026-05-03T13:30:04Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3240
| date = May 1, 2026
| title = Bottle
| image = bottle_2x.png
| imagesize = 581x235px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = "I know it seems impossible, but the trick is that I sailed in here when I was very young."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was BOTtled recently. Don't remove the cork too soon. }}
This comic shows a life sized ship in a bottle sailing along with other sail boats in the sea. The humor comes from the surreality of the situation.

In this comic, [[Beret Guy]] is inside a {{w|Impossible bottle#Ship in a bottle|ship in a bottle}}. [[Cueball]] and [[Megan]] are in a sail boat to his left, while [[Ponytail]] is alone in a [[3193:_Sailing_Rigs|gaff rig]] to his right. A common question regarding a ship-in-a-bottle is ''how'' the model ship was put inside the bottle, due to the small size of the opening in the bottle compared to the ship. The answer is often that the ship was assembled (or at least partially unfolded, from more compact original components assembled outside) within the bottle. The components are small enough to pass through the neck of the bottle, and the final assembly is likewise done through the neck, usually the most awkward task. Of course, toy boat assembly is not comparable to real or life-sized ship construction, and bottles are almost never big enough to stand up in, with necks large enough to climb in and out through if required.

The title text alludes to this, by saying that Beret Guy, when he was smaller, sailed the boat inside the bottle while he was still able to fit through the entrance. This is similar to the way some brands of pear brandy are sold in {{w|Impossible bottle#Small objects that expand naturally|bottles containing entire pears}}. These are produced by attaching the bottle to a young fruit and letting it grow to full size inside. This explanation fails to address that Beret Guy would fit through the neck of such a bottle relatively easy, on his own; but the boat, being made from non-living materials, would '''not''' have grown inside the bottle, and it is unlikely to have ever been a smaller boat carrying a smaller Beret Guy, and in a manner that both together could have sailed into the bottle. On the other hand, it would probably be easier for someone inside the bottle to have assembled components of a ship there than for that assembly to be done from outside. This would especially be true of a seaworthy vessel of a size to carry a passenger, rather than a mere model. But it’s possible that he used one of his many [[:Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy|strange powers…]] Also, given the definition of boat explained in the earlier comic [[2043: Boathouses and Houseboats]] ("a ship, by most definitions, carries boats"), Beret Guy's vessel is merely a boat.

The water level in the free-floating bottle is lower than the water outside. This is because the bottle will sink until the weight of the bottle and its contents (the water, the boat, and [[Beret Guy]]) equals the weight of the water displaced by the bottle. The weight of the 'missing' water in the bottle (the layer of air(or {{What If|6|hopefully air}})between the two surface levels, including the corresponding volume of air displaced by the boat) is consequently equal to the weight of the whole glass bottle. If you added water to the bottle in an attempt to make the inside and outside water levels the same, the bottle would contain less buoyant air and just sink deeper to misalign the surfaces again. Keep repeating this, and the buoyancy becomes less than zero (unless the inherent buoyancy of Beret Guy and his boat, now forced into the bottle's 'ceiling', still possess enough intrinsic support) at which point the bottle would sink.

As well as the question as to how on earth [[Beret Guy]] and the boat got in the bottle, there's another oddity. The bottle appears to be keeping pace with the boats on either side, impliying it is somehow propelling itself long despite lacking an engine, a sail, or any other method of propulsion. This could mean the bottle shares one of [[Beret Guy]]'s [[:Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy|strange powers]]. Possibly though, as [[Beret Guy]] seems to also be sailing within the bottle (which is also impossible, as it would lack airflow within there, unless it has it's own wind system. This is very likely, as the cork would prevent all airflow anyway, meaning [[Beret Guy]] would quickly die without his own source of airflow) he could be somehow powering the boat through that. He has [[1486|powered up random objects in strange ways]] before, after all.

In practice, the bottle is horizontally unstable. The weight of the bottle is not equal along its length (it appears heavier at the neck), and the buoyancy at each point will not equal the weight at that point. This is also true of the boats in the cartoon; the difference is that in the bottle much of the weight is the water which is free to move. If the neck of the bottle goes down (to increase the displacement to balance the weight), the water will move to the front of the bottle. This increases the weight at the front which will force the front even deeper. This will continue until the bottle is floating vertically. [[Beret Guy]]'s boat would appear to fit in the width of the bottle so everything will be fine. This effect (known as the 'free surface effect') has real implications for ships with open decks, such as car ferries, and has been implicated in several disasters such as the 'Herald of Free Enterprise', the 'Princess Victoria', and the 'Estonia'. So the bottle is ridiculously impractical and the only thing it would do would be {{What If|103|protecting}} the people riding the ship - though not very much there either, as the bottle is likely made of glass, as giant boat-carrying bottles normally are. And in fact if it was to break then the hole made would make a bottleneck for the way out ([[559|pun not intended]]), so any attackers would have the advantage there as well.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[Three small single-masted sailboats are shown (the right one in a gaff rig), all sailing towards the right. The ones on the left and right are on the ocean, while the one in the middle is contained completely by a large bottle. On the left, Cueball and Megan are in one boat; Cueball is sitting near the stern, possibly holding the tiller, while Megan is before the mast. In the middle, Beret Guy is before the mast in the boat that's inside the giant bottle, with a cork plugging the screw top bottleneck. On the right, Ponytail is directly aft of the mast of the third boat. All the boats are sitting on the water with ripples on the surface, but the water level in the bottle is lower than the rest.]

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy]]

3240: Bottle

2026-05-03T13:29:33Z

2603:6011:1F0:2A40:C5FD:DD48:3894:40A2:

{{comic
| number = 3240
| date = May 1, 2026
| title = Bottle
| image = bottle_2x.png
| imagesize = 581x235px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = "I know it seems impossible, but the trick is that I sailed in here when I was very young."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was BOTtled recently. Don't remove the cork too soon. }}
This comic shows a life sized ship in a bottle sailing along with other sail boats in the sea. The humor comes from the surreality of the situation.

In this comic, [[Beret Guy]] is inside a {{w|Impossible bottle#Ship in a bottle|ship in a bottle}}. [[Cueball]] and [[Megan]] are in a sail boat to his left, while [[Ponytail]] is alone in a [[3193:_Sailing_Rigs|gaff rig]] to his right. A common question regarding a ship-in-a-bottle is ''how'' the model ship was put inside the bottle, due to the small size of the opening in the bottle compared to the ship. The answer is often that the ship was assembled (or at least partially unfolded, from more compact original components assembled outside) within the bottle. The components are small enough to pass through the neck of the bottle, and the final assembly is likewise done through the neck, usually the most awkward task. Of course, toy boat assembly is not comparable to real or life-sized ship construction, and bottles are almost never big enough to stand up in, with necks large enough to climb in and out through if required.

The title text alludes to this, by saying that Beret Guy, when he was smaller, sailed the boat inside the bottle while he was still able to fit through the entrance. This is similar to the way some brands of pear brandy are sold in {{w|Impossible bottle#Small objects that expand naturally|bottles containing entire pears}}. These are produced by attaching the bottle to a young fruit and letting it grow to full size inside. This explanation fails to address that Beret Guy would fit through the neck of such a bottle relatively easy, on his own; but the boat, being made from non-living materials, would '''not''' have grown inside the bottle, and it is unlikely to have ever been a smaller boat carrying a smaller Beret Guy, and in a manner that both together could have sailed into the bottle. On the other hand, it would probably be easier for someone inside the bottle to have assembled components of a ship there than for that assembly to be done from outside. This would especially be true of a seaworthy vessel of a size to carry a passenger, rather than a mere model. But it’s possible that he used one of his many [[:Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy|strange powers…]] Also, given the definition of boat explained in the earlier comic [[2043: Boathouses and Houseboats]] ("a ship, by most definitions, carries boats"), Beret Guy's vessel is merely a boat.

The water level in the free-floating bottle is lower than the water outside. This is because the bottle will sink until the weight of the bottle and its contents (the water, the boat, and [[Beret Guy]]) equals the weight of the water displaced by the bottle. The weight of the 'missing' water in the bottle (the layer of air(or{{What If|6|hopefully air}})between the two surface levels, including the corresponding volume of air displaced by the boat) is consequently equal to the weight of the whole glass bottle. If you added water to the bottle in an attempt to make the inside and outside water levels the same, the bottle would contain less buoyant air and just sink deeper to misalign the surfaces again. Keep repeating this, and the buoyancy becomes less than zero (unless the inherent buoyancy of Beret Guy and his boat, now forced into the bottle's 'ceiling', still possess enough intrinsic support) at which point the bottle would sink.

As well as the question as to how on earth [[Beret Guy]] and the boat got in the bottle, there's another oddity. The bottle appears to be keeping pace with the boats on either side, impliying it is somehow propelling itself long despite lacking an engine, a sail, or any other method of propulsion. This could mean the bottle shares one of [[Beret Guy]]'s [[:Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy|strange powers]]. Possibly though, as [[Beret Guy]] seems to also be sailing within the bottle (which is also impossible, as it would lack airflow within there, unless it has it's own wind system. This is very likely, as the cork would prevent all airflow anyway, meaning [[Beret Guy]] would quickly die without his own source of airflow) he could be somehow powering the boat through that. He has [[1486|powered up random objects in strange ways]] before, after all.

In practice, the bottle is horizontally unstable. The weight of the bottle is not equal along its length (it appears heavier at the neck), and the buoyancy at each point will not equal the weight at that point. This is also true of the boats in the cartoon; the difference is that in the bottle much of the weight is the water which is free to move. If the neck of the bottle goes down (to increase the displacement to balance the weight), the water will move to the front of the bottle. This increases the weight at the front which will force the front even deeper. This will continue until the bottle is floating vertically. [[Beret Guy]]'s boat would appear to fit in the width of the bottle so everything will be fine. This effect (known as the 'free surface effect') has real implications for ships with open decks, such as car ferries, and has been implicated in several disasters such as the 'Herald of Free Enterprise', the 'Princess Victoria', and the 'Estonia'. So the bottle is ridiculously impractical and the only thing it would do would be {{What If|103|protecting}} the people riding the ship - though not very much there either, as the bottle is likely made of glass, as giant boat-carrying bottles normally are. And in fact if it was to break then the hole made would make a bottleneck for the way out ([[559|pun not intended]]), so any attackers would have the advantage there as well.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[Three small single-masted sailboats are shown (the right one in a gaff rig), all sailing towards the right. The ones on the left and right are on the ocean, while the one in the middle is contained completely by a large bottle. On the left, Cueball and Megan are in one boat; Cueball is sitting near the stern, possibly holding the tiller, while Megan is before the mast. In the middle, Beret Guy is before the mast in the boat that's inside the giant bottle, with a cork plugging the screw top bottleneck. On the right, Ponytail is directly aft of the mast of the third boat. All the boats are sitting on the water with ripples on the surface, but the water level in the bottle is lower than the rest.]

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy]]