explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

Talk:3188: Anyone Else Here

2025-12-31T22:46:22Z

Aaron of Mpls:

Anyone here in 2050? [[User:King Pando|King Pando]] ([[User talk:King Pando|talk]]) 22:20, 31 December 2025 (UTC)<br>
oh that's what that type of comment's about [[User:Treeplate|Treeplate]] ([[User talk:Treeplate|talk]])

Anybody reading this in 2525? Is man still alive? Did woman survive?[[User:Lordpishky|Lordpishky]] ([[User talk:Lordpishky|talk]]) 22:28, 31 December 2025 (UTC)
: Did they fall in love? --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 22:46, 31 December 2025 (UTC)

Talk:3173: Satellite Imagery

2025-11-27T03:32:53Z

Aaron of Mpls:

This is another comic in the ''My Hobby'' series, and is also about pranking conspiracy theorists. [[Special:Contributions/2001:4C4E:1C08:2800:DC6F:548F:9B29:AAE1|2001:4C4E:1C08:2800:DC6F:548F:9B29:AAE1]] 21:43, 26 November 2025 (UTC)
:Not pranking conspiracy theorists... Pranking the kind of people that conspiracy theorists theorise about. There's clear indication that they are working for one or other "three letter agency" (or else they'd be directly blaming No Such Agency/whoever, over and above the other explanations they're considering) and are trained and salaried analysts, rather than armchair hobbyists of the more nebulously self-organised and self-motivating kind. [[Special:Contributions/82.132.245.70|82.132.245.70]] 00:12, 27 November 2025 (UTC)

I know there are places (like parts of Oregon) that ''look'' pixelated due to [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Checkerboarding_(land) checkerboarded land ownership]. But something like ''this'' would be next-level! --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 03:32, 27 November 2025 (UTC)

what if? articles

2025-11-23T07:52:24Z

Aaron of Mpls: added line break

<noinclude>{{DISPLAYTITLE:''What If?'' chapters}}:''For other instances of this title, see [[What If (disambiguation)]].''<noinclude>
{{incomplete|Most of the [[#1-13|books-exclusive questions]] are still too short! They should be a summary of the answer, not just 1-2 sentences. [[#1-13|''(jump to the book-exclusive chapters)'']] ''(For help with the templates, see the '''''[[What If? chapters#Editors|Editors section]]'''''!''}}

</noinclude>This is an index of all articles featured in Randall Munroe's ''what if?'' [[what if? (blog)|blog]] and [[:Category:Books|book series]]. For each article, the original question and a summary of Randall's answer are provided. If an article is available on the blog, you can click the title to read it in full. You can use the columns to sort the table alphabetically, by release date on the blog or YouTube, or by chapter in the books. The thumbnail is only available for articles published on the blog. If the title of a blog article differs from the one in the book, the latter will be provided in the Book column. A much simpler list that doesn't include book-exclusive articles can be found in the [https://what-if.xkcd.com/archive archive section] of the blog. Similar articles by Randall have also been [[New York Times: Good Question|published in the New York Times]].<noinclude>
[[Category:Incomplete explanations| ]]</noinclude>
<div style="clear: both"></div>
{| class="sortable wikitable"
! rowspan="2" scope="col" class="unsortable" | Thumbnail
! rowspan="2" scope="col" data-sort-type=text| Title
! rowspan="2" scope="col" data-sort-type=text| Reader's question
! rowspan="2" scope="col" class="unsortable" | Randall's answer
! colspan="3"| Article available in... <noinclude></noinclude> ''(click to sort)'' <noinclude></noinclude>
|-
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | Blog
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | Books
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | YouTube
|-
| rowspan="2" |[[File:Relativistic Baseball.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|1|Relativistic Baseball}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"What would happen if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light?"''
<div align="right">—Ellen McManis</div>
| rowspan="2" |The ball would create plasma and reach home plate in about 70 nanoseconds. The result would be some kind of nuclear explosion, destroying everything about a mile from the field. A ruling of "{{w|hit by pitch}}" could be interpreted in this situation.
| rowspan="2"{{blog|1|2012|07|10}}
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|2}}
|{{book|5|2024|02|06|3EI08o-IGYk|What if you threw a baseball at nearly light speed?}}
|-
|{{book|14|short-video=yes|2025|10|28|Uj10jGq2O8o|What if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light?}}
|-
|[[File:SAT Guessing.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|2|SAT Guessing}}'''
|''"What if everyone who took the SAT guessed on every multiple-choice question? How many perfect scores would there be?"''
<div align="right">—Rob Balder</div>
|No one would get a perfect score. The odds of guessing correctly on every question would be less than the odds of every living ex-president at that time and the main cast of [[:Category:Firefly|Firefly]] getting struck by lightning on the same day. To put this as a number, the odds of this happening would be less than 1/10^100 (one {{w|googol}}).
|{{blog|2|2012|07|10|7d early}}
|{{book|1|66}}
|
|-
|[[File:Yoda.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|3|Yoda}}'''
|''"How much Force power can Yoda output?"''
<div align="right">—Ryan Finnie</div>
|Yoda can output about 19.2 kilowatts, or 25 horsepower. "Yoda power" would cost about $2/hour.
|{{blog|3|2012|07|17}}
|{{book|1|32}}
|
|-
|[[File:A Moles of Moles.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|4|A Mole of Moles}}'''
|''"What would happen if you were to gather a mole (unit of measurement) of moles (the small furry critter) in one place?"''
<div align="right">—Sean Rice</div>
|In physics, a {{w|mole (unit)|mole}} is a number that equals approximately 6.022 × 10<sup>23</sup>. If this amount of moles (the furry animals) were put in space, they would form a sphere a little bit larger than our Moon with about the same gravity as Pluto. The surface would freeze and trap the interior warmth, causing geysers of hot meat and methane.
|{{blog|4|2012|07|24}}
|{{book|1|10}}
|{{book|29|2025|8|19|lLlwvmu1ZeA|What if you had a mole of moles?}}
|-
|[[File:Robot Apocalypse.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|5|Robot Apocalypse}}'''
|''"What if there was a robot apocalypse? How long would humanity last?"''
<div align="right">—Rob Lombino</div>
|Humanity would most likely survive. Most robots can easily be subdued because technology hasn’t been developed enough to allow them to walk, evade being destroyed, and kill us efficiently. They could decide to use our nuclear weapons, but that would hurt them more than us.
|{{blog|5|2012|07|31}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Glass Half Empty.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|6|Glass Half Empty}}'''
|''"What if a glass of water was, all of a sudden, literally half empty?"''
<div align="right">—Vittorio Iacovella</div>
|If the vacuum were on the bottom half, it would explode, but if it were on the top half, the air rushes in and it becomes normal water.
|{{blog|6|2012|08|07}}
|{{book|1|26}}
|{{book|16|2024|09|24|0EytSWiKrFg|What if a glass of water were LITERALLY half empty?}}
|-
|[[File:Everybody Out.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|7|Everybody Out}}'''
|''"Is there enough energy to move the entire current human population off-planet?"''
<div align="right">—Adam</div>
|No, at least not without starving to death quickly and leaving our pets, belongings, and everything else behind. The best way to do it is either with a space tether or to ride the shockwave of a nuclear bomb, but the former lacks a good material and the latter is literally ''riding the shockwave of a nuclear bomb''. In any case, highly impractical.
|{{blog|7|2012|08|14}}
|{{book|1|35}}
|
|-
|[[File:Everybody Jump.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|8|Everybody Jump}}'''
|''"What would happen if everyone on earth stood as close to each other as they could and jumped, everyone landing on the ground at the same instant?"''
<div align="right">—Thomas Bennett (and many others)</div>
|Earth would be unaffected, but almost all humans would probably be wiped out, due to the congestion of everybody being in one place at once. Utilities and everything requiring human oversight would eventually fail because no one was maintaining them. If airports became functional, only the largest would be able to efficiently get everybody home. Only the people at the edges of the giant crowd would be able to escape, with the rest almost certainly dying due to suffocation. The Earth would then be a lawless wasteland, with a severely diminished population trying to restore humanity to its former glory.
|{{blog|8|2012|08|21}}
|{{book|1|9}}
|{{book|9|2024|04|16|p2M8Y0z9Rl0|What if everyone jumped at once?}}
|-
|[[File:Soul Mates.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|9|Soul Mates}}'''
|''"What if everyone actually had only one soul mate, a random person somewhere in the world?"''
<div align="right">—Benjamin Staffin</div>
|Assuming the soul mate can exist at any time, there is a high chance that you would not find your soul mate. Around 100 billion humans have ever existed, but only 8 billion of those people are alive today. This means that there is an over 90% chance that your soul mate is long dead. This is made worse by the fact that people will also be born in the future, and your soul mate could live very far in the future.

Even if it is assumed that someone's soul mate must be alive while they are alive, there's still a very low chance of finding your soul mate due to the sheer amount of people in the world. Even if you find them, they may speak another language and be unable to understand you.

Jobs would also be affected, with very social jobs such as waiters, cashiers, or traffic guards being highly sought-after.
|{{blog|9|2012|08|28}}
|{{book|1|6}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cassini.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|10|Cassini}}'''
|''"What would the world be like if the land masses were spread out the same way as now - only rotated by an angle of 90 degrees?"''
<div align="right">—Socke</div>
|Hard to tell with any sort of certainty, but North America remains the same (just flipped, so Canada is tropical), South America becomes more like Europe before this question, Asia is flipped just like North America was, Europe becomes more like southeast Asia, Africa's climate is essentially rotated 90 degrees and East Africa gets a lot more tornadoes, Australia is colder and wetter, and Antarctica becomes a tropical rainforest. Of course, the biosphere collapses due to the shuffling and the ice caps (prematurely) melt, while also making certain wildlife appear elsewhere than normal.
|{{blog|10|2012|09|04}}
|
|{{book|23|2025|04|01|WH4g1ptJ-70|What if the Earth rotated 90 degrees?}}
|-
|[[File:Droppings.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|11|Droppings}}'''
|''"If you went outside and lay down on your back with your mouth open, how long would you have to wait until a bird pooped in it?"''
<div align="right">—Adrienne Olson</div>
|Assuming an even distribution of all birds across the Earth's surface and a frequency of 1 poop per hour, it would take you about 195 years on average. However, those assumptions are unrealistic: It would probably be closer to a few hours if you were laying under an area where large amounts of birds are common, such as a power line or tree.
|{{blog|11|2012|09|11}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Raindrop.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|12|Raindrop}}'''
|''"What if a rainstorm dropped all of its water in a single giant drop?"''
<div align="right">—Michael McNeill</div>
|The surrounding area would be obliterated via the violent rush of crushing water, causing flash flooding in the surrounding area. There would be mass confusion for many following years.
|{{blog|12|2012|09|18}}
|{{book|1|65}}
|
|-
|[[File:Laser Pointer.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|13|Laser Pointer}}'''
|''"If every person on Earth aimed a laser pointer at the Moon at the same time, would it change color?"''
<div align="right">—Peter Lipowicz</div>
|It would take lots of power, but yes, assuming you want to drain the Earth's oil and cover Asia in megawatt lasers. Going even further in power level fries the Earth and launches the Moon into the solar system.
|{{blog|13|2012|09|25}}
|{{book|1|7}}
|{{book|18|2024|11|05|JqFSGkFPipM|What if everyone pointed a laser at the moon?}}
|-
| rowspan="7" |[[File:Short Answer Section.png|100px]]
| rowspan="7" |'''{{What If|14|Short Answer Section}}'''
|''"How long would the Sun last if a giant water hose were focused upon it?"''
<div align="right">—Austin Dickey</div>
|The Sun would actually burn brighter due to water being mostly hydrogen (main fusion fuel of stars) and eventually become a black hole with all the mass of the water.
| rowspan="7"{{blog|14|2012|10|02}}
| rowspan="7" |
| rowspan="7" |
|-
|''"What if you shined a flashlight (or a laser) into a sphere made of one-way mirror glass?"''
<div align="right">—Chase Montgomery</div>
|One-way glass does not exist. The light shines through just like normal glass.
|-
|''"If Michael Phelps could hold his breath indefinitely, how long would it take for him to reach the lowest point in the ocean and back if he swam straight down and then straight back up?"''
<div align="right">—Jimmy Morey</div>
|Michael Phelps would die somewhere between 100 and 400 meters of depth. If he were immune to pressure, then it would take 3 hours to swim to the bottom of the Marianas Trench and back.
|-
|''"In the first Superman movie, Superman flies around Earth so fast that it begins turning in the opposite direction. This somehow turns back time [... ] How much energy would someone flying around the Earth have to exert in order to reverse the Earth's rotation?"''
<div align="right">—Aidan Blake</div>
|Superman wasn't pushing the Earth. He was flying {{w|Superluminal motion|superluminally}} and was thus travelling back through time.
|-
|''"How fast would you have to go in your car to run a red light claiming that it appeared green to you due to the Doppler Effect?"''
<div align="right">—Yitzi Turniansky</div>
|The {{w|Doppler Effect}} is when waves (such as light or sound) change based on movement or position. You would need to go about one sixth of the {{w|speed of light}}.
|-
|''"What would happen if you opened a portal between Boston (sea level) and Mexico City (elev. 8000+ feet)?"''
<div align="right">—Jake G.</div>
|There would be winds of 440 mph (708 km/h) sucking Boston into Mexico City.
|-
|''"When my wife and I started dating she invited me over for dinner at one time. Her kitchen had something called Bauhaus chairs, which are full of holes, approx 5-6 millimeters in diameter in both back and seat. During this lovely dinner I was forced to liberate a small portion of wind and was relieved that I managed to do so very discretely. Only to find that the chair I sat on converted the successful silence into a perfect, and loud, flute note. We were both (luckily) amazed and surprised and I have often wondered what the odds are for something like that happening. We kept the chairs for five years but despite laborious attempts it couldn't be reproduced."''
<div align="right">—R. D.</div>
|This... isn’t actually a question, but thank you for sharing!
|-
|[[File:Mariana Trench Explosion.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|15|Mariana Trench Explosion}}'''
|''"What if you exploded a nuclear bomb (say, the Tsar Bomba) at the bottom of the Marianas Trench?"''
<div align="right">—Evin Sellin</div>
|Surprisingly, not much! Large waves already disappear quickly when created by surface explosions, and moving the detonation underwater only lessens the effect. If you exploded a Tsar Bomba at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, the resulting eruption would create massive bubbles before turning into warm water and debris.
|{{blog|15|2012|10|09}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="6" |[[File:Today's topic- Lightning.png|100px]]
| rowspan="6" |'''{{What If|16|Today's topic: Lightning}}'''
|''"How dangerous is it to be in a pool during a thunderstorm?"''
<div align="right">—Jay Gengelbach</div>
|Pretty dangerous, as if the pool was hit, 20,000 amps of electricity from the lightning bolt would spread across the surface and shock you. Randall recommends that one should stay at least 12 meters away from a pool during a thunderstorm.
| rowspan="6"{{blog|16|2012|10|16}}
| rowspan="6"{{book|1|19|Lightning}}
| rowspan="6" |
|-
|''"What would happen if you were taking a shower or standing under a waterfall when you were struck by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—Same3Chords</div>
|The droplets of water wouldn’t be dangerous, but a tub of water or any puddle you stand in ''will'' be dangerous.
|-
|''"What would happen if you were in a boat, plane or a submarine that got hit by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—Soobnauce</div>
|A boat would be as safe as a car if it had a cabin and lightning protection, while a submarine would be completely safe. The plane was not mentioned.
|-
|''"What if you were changing the light at the top of a radio tower and lightning struck? Or what if you were doing a backflip? Or standing in a graphite field? Or looking straight up at the bolt?"''
<div align="right">—Danny Wedul</div>
|You would get shocked normally if you were on a radio tower, doing a backflip, or looking straight up (which would also damage your eyes). These all don’t matter much. Randall doesn’t know what a graphite field is and chose not to answer that part of the question.
|-
|''"What would happen if lightning struck a bullet in midair?"''
<div align="right">—Timothy Campbell</div>
|The bullet might be heated a little bit, but it’s travelling too fast to have any impact.
|-
|''"What if you were flashing your BIOS during a thunderstorm and you got hit by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—NJSG</div>
|It would bring you to “Microsoft BOB®”, “Gateway 2000 Edition”.
|-
|[[File:Green Cows.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|17|Green Cows}}'''
|''"If cows could photosynthesize, how much less food would they need?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|They would need 4% less food. There simply isn't enough area on the cow for photosynthesis to provide all its energy requirements.
|{{blog|17|2012|10|23}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:BB Gun.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|18|BB Gun}}'''
|''"In Armageddon, a NASA guy comments that a plan to shoot a laser at the asteroid is like “shooting a b.b. gun at a freight train.” What would it take to stop an out-of-control freight train using only b.b. guns?"''
<div align="right">—Charles James O'Keefe</div>
|This would normally be impossible. However, with enough people shooting the train, it can happen. This would require about 100,000 people shooting, distributed over 2 kilometers of track, each firing a few dozen rounds once the train comes close enough. This would, eventually, be enough to bring the train to a stop.
|{{blog|18|2012|10|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Tie Vote.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|19|Tie Vote}}'''
|''"What if there's LITERALLY a tie?"''
<div align="right">—Nate Silver (<span class="plainlinks">[https://twitter.com/fivethirtyeight/status/154434288287363072 '''Twitter, January 4th, 2012''']</span>)</div>
|In the case of each candidate getting the exact same amount of votes on Election Day, most states would randomly pick one, whether it be through tossing a coin, drawing a name or straws. The chances of this happening in 9 battleground states would be about equal to the elector drawing a name from a hat, then being smashed by a bale of cocaine by drug smugglers and obliterated by a meteorite impact while being swept away in a tornado.
|{{blog|19|2012|11|06}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Diamond.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|20|Diamond}}'''
|''"If a meteor made out of diamond and 100 feet in diameter was traveling at the speed of light and hit the earth, what would happen to it?"''
<div align="right">—Aidan Smith, Age 8, via his father Jeff</div>
|Nothing made of matter can travel at the speed of light, but at the closest speed observed (99.99999999999999999999951% of the speed of light, the speed of the {{w|Oh-My-God particle}}), the Earth would explode with enough force to obliterate the entire Solar System.
|{{blog|20|2012|11|13}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Machine Gun Jetpack.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|21|Machine Gun Jetpack}}'''
|''"Is it possible to build a jetpack using downward firing machine guns?"''
<div align="right">—Rob B</div>
|You'd need a Russian 30 mm rotary cannon to do it optimally, and the excessive force would definitely hurt you. If you braced the rider, created an aerodynamic craft strong enough to survive the acceleration, and cooled the craft, you'd be able to jump mountains.
|{{blog|21|2012|11|20}}
|{{book|1|14|Machine-Gun Jetpack}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cost of Pennies.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|22|Cost of Pennies}}'''
|''"If you carry a penny in your coin tray, how long would it take for that penny to cost you more than a cent in extra gas?"''
<div align="right">—Leto Atreides</div>
|140,000 miles if gas was the only cost involved. The exercise of picking up the penny can prolong your lifespan, but you've wasted valuable seconds reading this article.
|{{blog|22|2012|11|27}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="7" |[[File:Short Answer Section II.png|100px]]
| rowspan="7" |'''{{What If|23|Short Answer Section II}}'''
|''"If my printer could literally print out money, would it have that big an effect on the world?"''
<div align="right">—Derek O’Brien</div>
| Using the printer, you could make about 200 million dollars per year, depending on the type of printer. This would actually be the perfect sweet spot for you, as it would be enough to make you very, very rich, but not enough to have any effect on the world. The United States [https://www.bep.gov/currency/production-figures/annual-production-reports prints approximately $160 billion per year], so $200 million a year would be nothing more than a drop in the bucket.
| rowspan="7"{{blog|23|2012|12|04}}
| rowspan="7"{{book|1|18|Short-Answer Section}}
| rowspan="7" |
|-
|''"What would happen if you exploded a nuclear bomb in the eye of a hurricane? Would the storm cell be immediately vaporized?"''
<div align="right">—Rupert Bainbridge (and hundreds of others)</div>
|No. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has [https://www.aoml.noaa.gov/hrd-faq/#hurricane-mitigation:~:text=Stop%20a%20Hurricane%3F-,Nuclear%20Weapons,-Adding%20Hygroscopic%20Particles published a response] explaining why it wouldn't work.
|-
|''"If everyone put little turbine generators on the downspouts of their houses and businesses, how much power would we generate? Would we ever generate enough power to offset the cost of the generators?"''
<div align="right">—Damien</div>
|If it's very rainy, it would generate 800 watts of power, which isn't enough to offset the cost of the generators.
|-
|''"Using only pronounceable letter combinations, how long would names have to be to give each star in the universe a unique one word name?"''
<div align="right">—Seamus Johnson</div>
|About 24 characters.
|-
|''"I bike to class sometimes. It's annoying biking in the wintertime, because it's so cold. How fast would I have to bike for my skin to warm up the way a spacecraft heats up during reentry?"''
<div align="right">—David Nai</div>
|You'd have to bike at about 200 m/s, which would make your commute very fast indeed. However, the amount of energy required to bike at that speed would cause you to die from overexertion. This might work if you didn't exert any energy, however.
|-
|''"How much physical space does the internet take up?"''
<div align="right">—Max L</div>
|Using humanity's total produced storage space from the last few years as an upper bound, and assuming 3.5" drives, the Internet is less than the size of an oil tank.
|-
|''"What if you strapped C4 to a boomerang? Could this be an effective weapon, or would it be as stupid as it sounds?"''
<div align="right">—Chad Macziewski</div>
|Strapping C4 to a boomerang does not sound like an effective weapon. The weapon as depicted in the image would have terrible aerodynamics, and would not fly an easily predictable trajectory. C4 is, by itself, an inert substance which would need some form of detonator to actually explode, in which case it would depend upon how you set it up (e.g. timer or inertial trigger) and at what point in its flight this would activate. ''If'' this happened as it returns (or flies past, if thrown reasonably correctly but being unable or unwilling to catch it), it might kill or injure the thrower and/or those nearby. There were many unstated details as to how the proposal would be implemented, as Randall lampshades in his open answer.
|-
|[[File:Model Rockets.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|24|Model Rockets}}'''
|''"How many model rocket engines would it take to launch a real rocket into space?"''
<div align="right">—Greg Schock, PA</div>
|It would take about 65,000, but they’d have to be layered in a cone shape with about 30 stages so the vehicle has thrust for long enough. It could carry 60 kg, much of that spent on all the parts of the rocket that aren't the engine. And this contraption would not attain orbital velocity, but rapidly fall back to Earth after briefly leaving the atmosphere. Accelerating to orbital velocity is a whole other class of problem and cannot be achieved using model rocket engines in any practical way.
|{{blog|24|2012|12|11}}
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|-
|[[File:Three Wise Men.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|25|Three Wise Men}}'''
|''"The story of the three wise men got me wondering: What if you did walk towards a star at a fixed speed? What path would you trace on the Earth? Does it converge to a fixed cycle?"''
<div align="right">—N. Murdoch</div>
|No, but the paths they would take would make some really cool patterns due to various factors, such as the Earth's rotation and its position changing in its orbit around the Sun.
|{{blog|25|2012|12|18}}
|
|{{book|22|2025|03|04|YL2VNtus4xk|What if the wise men kept walking after Jesus’s birth?}}
|-
|[[File:Leap Seconds.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|26|Leap Seconds}}'''
|''"Every now and then we have to insert a leap second because the Earth’s rotation is slowing down. Could we speed up Earth’s rotation, so that we do not need Leap Seconds?"''
<div align="right">—Anton (Berlin, Germany)</div>
|The only real way to do this is by hitting Earth with asteroids; all other ideas would be too difficult or wouldn’t work. With 50,000 planets B-612 hitting the Earth each second and a few assumptions, we could stop worrying about leap seconds (mostly because it would deliver the energy of about one dinosaur-killer asteroid every couple days, wiping out life on Earth quite quickly)
|{{blog|26|2012|12|31|6d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Death Rates.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|27|Death Rates}}'''
|''"If one randomly chosen extra person were to die each second somewhere on Earth, what impact would it have on the world population?"''
<div align="right">—Guy Petzall</div>
|The world population would continue to grow, though 40% more slowly. Pilots, drivers, and surgeons would die en route and mid-operation, but these would be comparable to usual accident rates and handled fairly easily.
|{{blog|27|2013|01|08|1d late}}
|
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|-
|[[File:Steak Drop.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|28|Steak Drop}}'''
|''"From what height would you need to drop a steak for it to be cooked when it hit the ground?"''
<div align="right">—Alex Lahey</div>
|From the very edge of the atmosphere, but even in that case it might not be fully cooked, as the steak will have to pass through parts of the atmosphere that are freezing cold and the parts of the fall where heat is being applied are more likely to char and disintegrate the steak than cook it.
|{{blog|28|2013|01|15}}
|{{book|1|23}}
|
|-
|[[File:Spent Fuel Pool.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|29|Spent Fuel Pool}}'''
|''"What if I took a swim in a typical spent nuclear fuel pool? Would I need to dive to actually experience a fatal amount of radiation? How long could I stay safely at the surface?"''
<div align="right">—Jonathan Bastien-Filiatrault</div>
|As long as you don't touch strange things and you don't swim too close to the fuel rods, it would be just like a regular pool. Except for the fact you would never make it to the pool, as the guards would notice and shoot you to death.
|{{blog|29|2013|01|22}}
|{{book|1|3}}
|{{book|8|2024|04|02|EFRUL7vKdU8|What if you swam in a nuclear storage pool?}}
|-
|[[File:Interplanetary Cessna.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|30|Interplanetary Cessna}}'''
|''"What would happen if you tried to fly a normal Earth airplane above different Solar System bodies?"''
<div align="right">—Glen Chiacchieri</div>
|It would be difficult to fly on Mars, so you would crash. The gas giants also have this problem, and you would freeze and tumble. Titan and Venus are the best bets, but Titan is cold and Venus is full of sulfuric acid.
|{{blog|30|2013|01|29}}
|{{book|1|30}}
|
|-
|[[File:FedEx Bandwidth.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|31|FedEx Bandwidth}}'''
|''"When - if ever - will the bandwidth of the Internet surpass that of FedEx?"''
<div align="right">—Johan Öbrink</div>
|Probably never, unless the Internet's transfer rate grows faster than storage rates, the Internet won't surpass an army of FedEx trucks. However, the ping times would be ''absurd''.
|{{blog|31|2013|02|05}}
|{{book|1|44}}
|
|-
| rowspan="3" |[[File:Hubble.png|100px]]
| rowspan="3" |'''{{What If|32|Hubble}}'''
| rowspan="3" |''"If the Hubble telescope were aimed at the Earth, how detailed would the images be?"''
<div align="right">—Kyle Rankin</div>
| rowspan="3" |Very blurry because Hubble isn't able to rotate fast enough to track it on the surface of the Earth. Hubble is the wrong tool for the job, you're thinking of a spy satellite.
| rowspan="3" {{blog|32|2013|02|12}}
| rowspan="3" |
|{{book|1|2023|11|29|2LSyizrk8-0|What if we aimed the Hubble Telescope at Earth?}}
|-
|{{book|10|short-video=yes|2025|09|16|TgA0lXEW7dw|Could the Hubble take a photo of you?}}
|-
|{{book|11|short-video=yes|2025|09|23|i6e4NnFnQi0|How detailed would the Hubbles images be if it looked at Earth?}}
|-
|[[File:Ships.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|33|Ships}}'''
|''"How much would the sea level fall if every ship were removed all at once from the Earth's waters?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Toje</div>
|The sea level would fall by about 6 microns, slightly more than the diameter of a strand of spider silk. However, since the oceans are currently rising at about 3.3 millimeters per year due to global warming, the water would be back up to its original average level in 16 hours.
|{{blog|33|2013|02|19}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:what if? Twitter.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|34|Twitter}}'''
|''"How many unique English tweets are possible? How long would it take for the population of the world to read them all out loud?"''
<div align="right">—Eric H., Hopatcong, NJ</div>
|Since there are 2 * 10<sup>46</sup> meaningful English tweets, reading them all would take 10,000 "eternal years", with an eternal day being the length of time needed to wear down a mountain if a bird scraped 1 grain every thousand years.
|{{blog|34|2013|02|26}}
|{{book|1|50}}
|
|-
|[[File:Hair Dryer.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|35|Hair Dryer}}'''
|''"What would happen if a hair dryer with continuous power was turned on and put in an airtight 1x1x1 meter box?"''
<div align="right">—Nathan Terrell</div>
|The box would heat until the ground starts melting, and going further, it would eventually create updrafts and bounce around everywhere. Turning it off and on again would launch it out of the sky in glowing fury.
|{{blog|35|2013|03|05}}
|{{book|1|11}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cornstarch.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|36|Cornstarch}}'''
|''"How much cornstarch can I rinse down the drain before unpleasant things start to happen?"''
<div align="right">—Anna R., Fort Wayne, IN</div>
|It depends what you consider unpleasant. Your sink will clog and your house will flood with oobleck, but if you really really like cornstarch then nothing unpleasant will happen.
|{{blog|36|2013|03|12}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Supersonic Stereo.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|37|Supersonic Stereo}}'''
|''"What if you somehow managed to make a stereo travel at twice the speed of sound, would it sound backwards to someone who was just casually sitting somewhere as it flies by?"''
<div align="right">—Tim Currie</div>
|Assuming the stereo is indestructible, yes. Although you’d only get it supersonic for less than a second, and the music would be heavily compressed after the sonic boom.
|{{blog|37|2013|03|19}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:what if? Voyager.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|38|Voyager}}'''
|''"With today's technology, would it be possible to launch an unmanned mission to retrieve Voyager I?"''
<div align="right">—Elliot Bennett</div>
|You could ''reach'' Voyager I with some well-timed gravity assists from Jupiter and Saturn, but getting back would require an ''absurd'' amount of fuel. You could use ion fields to require less fuel, but they also produce less thrust.
|{{blog|38|2013|03|26}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Hockey Puck.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|39|Hockey Puck}}'''
|''"How hard would a puck have to be shot to be able to knock the goalie himself backwards into the net?"''
<div align="right">—Tom</div>
|This can't really happen, due to the size and weight difference between the goalie and a hockey puck. You'd need to fire an object at Mach 8 to knock the goalie back, but firing a puck at that speed would char the puck while air resistance would slow it down. If you actually did fire a hockey puck at a goalie at high speeds, it would have the same effect as hitting a cake with a tomato as hard as you can.
|{{blog|39|2013|04|02}}
|{{book|1|24}}
|
|-
|[[File:Pressure Cooker.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|40|Pressure Cooker}}'''
|''"Am I right to be afraid of pressure cookers? What's the worst thing that can happen if you misuse a pressure cooker in an ordinary kitchen?"''
<div align="right">—Delphine Lourtau</div>
|Ordinarily, the worst that can happen is the lid blowing off and superheated liquid spraying everywhere, but you can use one to make {{w|Dioxygen difluoride}}, which is much worse.
|{{blog|40|2013|04|9}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Go West.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|41|Go West}}'''
|''"If everybody in the US drove west, could we temporarily halt continental drift?"''
<div align="right">—Derek</div>
|No. While technically the car fleet would outpace the continental drift, the continental drift is being powered by the forces in the Earth's mantle, and these forces outmatch the car fleet by millions of times.
|{{blog|41|2013|04|16}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Longest Sunset.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|42|Longest Sunset}}'''
|''"What is the longest possible sunset you can experience while driving, assuming we are obeying the speed limit and driving on paved roads?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Berg</div>
|The longest way you can experience a sunset is by driving on certain roads in Norway and Finland for 95 minutes, as this is where the best method to outpace the Sun works (outpacing {{w|Terminator (solar)|the terminator}}). A similar concept has been explored in comic [[162: Angular Momentum]].
|{{blog|42|201304|23}}
|{{book|1|52}}
|{{book|32|2025|10|21|U8F7UNK9jco|Can you drive west to lengthen the sunset?}}
|-
|[[File:Train Loop.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|43|Train Loop}}'''
|''"Could a high-speed train run through a vertical loop, like a rollercoaster, with the passengers staying comfortable?"''
<div align="right">—Gero Walter</div>
|Even if we change the requirements to just the passengers surviving, this isn't plausible. A train can't complete a full loop without the loop being too small, making the train move too fast and making every passenger die from the g-forces involved.
|{{blog|43|2013|04|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:High Throw.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|44|High Throw}}'''
|''"How high can a human throw something?"''
<div align="right">—Irish Dave on the Isle of Man</div>
|Using estimations and aerodynamics calculations, Aroldis Champman (holder of the record for fastest pitch) could probably throw up to 16 giraffes high if he was using a golf ball. Unless you count letting go of balloons, of course.
|{{blog|44|2013|05|07}}
|{{book|1|38}}
|
|-
|[[File:ISS Music Video.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|45|ISS Music Video}}'''
|''"Is [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaOC9danxNo '''this'''] the most expensive music video ever?"''
<div align="right">—Various Youtube commenters</div>
|No. If the construction cost of the setpiece is how this is measured, then it would be U2's "Last Night on Earth" on a section of Interstate Highway. If not, then it doesn't even come close to Thriller.
|{{blog|45|2013|05|14}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Bowling Ball.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|46|Bowling Ball}}'''
|''"I've been told that if the Earth were shrunk down to the size of a bowling ball, it would be smoother than said bowling ball. My question is, what would a bowling ball look like if it were blown up to the size of the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Seth C.</div>
|A bowling ball the size of the Earth would be much less dense, and have much less gravity. Due to this, the finger holes would collapse. causing eruptions of hydrocarbons and scars similar to those on the Moon.
|{{blog|46|2013|05|21}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Alien Astronomers.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|47|Alien Astronomers}}'''
|''"Let's assume there's life on the the nearest habitable exoplanet and that they have technology comparable to ours. If they looked at our star right now, what would they see?"''
<div align="right">—Chuck H.</div>
|They wouldn't be able to see us very well. Radio waves fade quickly in space and we've stopped sending out as many of them. If they happened to pick up, they would only get a message similar to the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wow!_signal Wow! Signal]. The best message they could see is visible light, as the water and weather on Earth's surface would be a telltale marker of some form of life.
|{{blog|47|2013|05|28}}
|{{book|1|28}}
|
|-
|[[File:Sunset on the British Empire.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|48|Sunset on the British Empire}}'''
|''"When (if ever) did the Sun finally set on the British Empire?"''
<div align="right">—Kurt Amundson</div>
|If the British Empire kept the borders it had when the question was written, it would continue to experience eternal sunshine for many thousands of years until a total eclipse hits the Pitcairn Islands at the right time.

However, in 2025, after the publication of this article, [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/clyvv04wk8zt the UK signed a treaty to give the British Indian Ocean Territory to Mauritius]. Once the treaty is ratified, and the territory is officially handed over, the sun can finally set on the British Empire.
|{{blog|48|2013|06|04}}
|{{book|1|60}}
|
|-
|[[File:Sunless Earth.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|49|Sunless Earth}}'''
|''"What would happen to the Earth if the Sun suddenly switched off?"''
<div align="right">—Many, many readers</div>
|We would see a variety of benefits across our lives such as the elimination of time zones, more reliable satellites, easier astronomy, and safer wild parsnip, but the downside is we would all freeze and die.
|{{blog|49|2013|06|11}}
|{{book|1|57}}
|{{book|24|2025|04|15|X7sbn9LMZOg| What if the sun suddenly went out?}}
|-
|[[File:Extreme Boating.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|50|Extreme Boating}}'''
|''"What would it be like to navigate a rowboat through a lake of mercury? What about bromine? Liquid gallium? Liquid tungsten? Liquid nitrogen? Liquid helium?"''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Aron</div>
|It would be difficult to row the boat on mercury because it's very dense. Bromine smells terrible and is highly toxic. Gallium would dissolve an aluminium boat. Liquid tungsten would incinerate you instantly. Liquid nitrogen would kill you either by suffocation or hypothermia. Liquid helium's superfluid properties would sink your boat, but at least you'd hear the “third sound” as you die.
|{{blog|50|2013|06|18}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Free Fall.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|51|Free Fall}}'''
|''"What place on Earth would allow you to freefall the longest by jumping off it? What about using a squirrel suit?"''
<div align="right">—Dhash Shrivathsa</div>
|It takes 26 seconds to fall from the top of {{w|Mount Thor}} into a pit of cotton candy at the bottom of the cliff. The record for the longest wingsuit glide is enough time for Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi to eat 45 hot dogs.
|{{blog|51|2013|06|25}}
|{{book|1|45}}
|
|-
|[[File:Bouncy Balls.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|52|Bouncy Balls}}'''
|''"What if one were to drop 3,000 bouncy balls from a seven story parking structure onto a person walking on the sidewalk below? Should the person survive, what would be the number of bouncy balls needed to kill them? What injuries would occur and what would the associated crimes be?"''
<div align="right">—Ginger Bread</div>
|Around 3,000,000 balls. Death would occur and you would be charged with manslaughter or murder.
|{{blog|52|2013|07|02}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Drain the Oceans.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|53|Drain the Oceans}}'''
|''"How quickly would the ocean's drain if a circular portal 10 meters in radius leading into space was created at the bottom of Challenger Deep, the deepest spot in the ocean? How would the Earth change as the water is being drained?"''
<div align="right">—Ted M.</div>
|Hundreds of thousands of years, so you'll need a bigger portal. As their basins are cut off, many shallow seas and a few deep trenches remain, leaving much of Earth still covered with water. Massive, unpredictable environmental changes would probably wipe out mankind. If they didn't, the Dutch would take over the world, no longer preoccupied with preventing their lands from flooding as they are now.
|{{blog|53|2013|07|09}}
|{{book|1|48}}
|{{book|12|2024|06|18|Jpy55EgMQgY|What if you drained the oceans?}}
|-
|[[File:Drain the Oceans Part II.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|54|Drain the Oceans: Part II}}'''
|''"Supposing you did '''{{what if|53|Drain the Oceans}}''', and dumped the water on top of the Curiosity rover, how would Mars change as the water accumulated?"''
<div align="right">—Iain</div>
|The water would fill the {{w|Valles Marineris}}, eventually leaving only {{w|Olympus Mons}} and some other small islands. The sea would ultimately freeze over, become covered in dust, and migrate to permafrost at the poles. In the meantime, the Netherlands would colonize Mars through the portal. The video additionally mentions that the greenhouse gas effects caused by all the new water might keep Mars's oceans liquid.
|{{blog|54|2013|07|16}}
|{{book|1|49}}
|{{book|14|2024|08|13|FkUNHhVbQ1Q|What if we teleported the oceans to Mars?}}
|-
|[[File:Random Sneeze Call.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|55|Random Sneeze Call}}'''
|''"If you call a random phone number and say "God bless you", what are the chances that the person who answers just sneezed? On average, not just in spring or fall."''
<div align="right">—Mimi</div>
|The chances they just sneezed are 1 in 40000. There's also a 1 in a billion chance that the person you called just murdered someone, a 1 in 10 trillion chance they've just been killed by lightning, and another 1 in 10 trillion chance that you and the other person called each other simultaneously.
|{{blog|55|2013|07|23}}
|{{book|1|53}}
|
|-
|[[File:Restraining an Airplane.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|56|Restraining an Airplane}}'''
|''"If you wanted to anchor an airplane into the ground so it wouldn't be able to take off, what would the rope have to be made out of?"''
<div align="right">—Connor Childerhose</div>
|A steel cable an inch thick, the lines of an army of fishermen, or the hair of 20 people. Hair has the highest tensile strength of any material in your body.
|{{blog|56|2013|07|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Dropping a Mountain.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|57|Dropping a Mountain}}'''
|''"What if a huge mountain—Denali, say—had the bottom inch of its base disappear? What would happen from the impact of the mountain falling 1 inch? What about 1 foot? What if the mountain's base were raised to the present height of the summit, and then the whole thing were allowed to drop to the earth?"''
<div align="right">—John-Clark Levin</div>
|An inch or a foot wouldn't do much, it would only feel like a 3.5 magnitude earthquake. Dropped from its own height, Denali would cause a magnitude 7 earthquake and crush coal to diamonds. Dropped from space, that's just a large asteroid and it would cause an impact winter.
|{{blog|57|2013|08|06}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="3" |[[File:Orbital Speed.png|100px]]
| rowspan="3" |'''{{What If|58|Orbital Speed}}'''
|''"What if a spacecraft slowed down on re-entry to just a few miles per hour using rocket boosters like the Mars-sky-crane? Would it negate the need for a heat shield?"''
<div align="right">—Brian</div>
| rowspan="3" |No, because you need to go 8 km/s to stay in orbit, and it would take impossible amounts of fuel to slow down.
| rowspan="3"{{blog|58|2013|08|12|1d early}}
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|43}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
|''"Is it possible for a spacecraft to control its reentry in such a way that it avoids the atmospheric compression and thus would not require the expensive (and relatively fragile) heat shield on the outside?"''
<div align="right">—Christopher Mallow</div>
|-
|''"Could a (small) rocket (with payload) be lifted to a high point in the atmosphere where it would only need a small rocket to get to escape velocity?"''
<div align="right">—Kenny Van de Maele</div>
|-
|[[File:Updating a Printed Wikipedia.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|59|Updating a Printed Wikipedia}}'''
|''"If you had a printed version of the whole of (say, the English) Wikipedia, how many printers would you need in order to keep up with the changes made to the live version?"''
<div align="right">—Susanne Könings</div>
|You'd need six printers, but if using an ink printer, costs would rack up to $500,000 a month, dwarfing paper and maintenance costs. You'd need to file away past versions in case they were reverted (restored), which would be a nightmare.
|{{blog|59|2013|08|20|1d late}}
|{{book|1|58}}
|{{book|13|2024|7|9|RgBYohJ7mIk|What if you tried to print Wikipedia?}}
|-
|[[File:Signs of Life.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|60|Signs of Life}}'''
|''"If you could teleport to a random place of the surface of the Earth, what are the odds that you'll see signs of intelligent life?"''
<div align="right">—Borislav Stanimirov</div>
|70% of the time you would end up in the ocean, while most of the rest will be somewhere uninhabited. But if it’s night, you can see satellites just by looking up.
|{{blog|60|2013|08|27}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Speed Bump.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|61|Speed Bump}}'''
|''"How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live?"''
<div align="right">—Myrlin Barber</div>
|At highway speeds, you could wreck your tires and suspension. Around 150-300 mph, the aerodynamics of a typical sedan will cause it to flip and crash before even reaching the speed bump. At 90% the speed of light, you could face a billion-dollar speeding ticket.
|{{blog|61|2013|09|03}}
|{{book|1|41}}
|
|-
|[[File:Falling With Helium.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|62|Falling With Helium}}'''
|''"What if I jumped out of an airplane with a couple of tanks of helium and one huge, un-inflated balloon? Then, while falling, I release the helium and fill the balloon. How long of a fall would I need in order for the balloon to slow me enough that I could land safely?"''
<div align="right">—Colin Rowe</div>
|You would need a balloon at least 10 to 20 meters across to slow your fall, as well as needing 10 helium tanks that are 250 cubic feet. You'd have to do it really quickly though, and starting from a higher place will not help due to the atmosphere's thinness making you accelerate.
|{{blog|62|2013|09|10}}
|{{book|1|34}}
|
|-
|[[File:Google's Datacenters on Punch Cards.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|63|Google's Datacenters on Punch Cards}}'''
|''"If all digital data were stored on punch cards, how big would Google's data warehouse be?"''
<div align="right">—James Zetlin</div>
|Using electric consumption and datacenter spending as a measuring stick, Google probably has around 1-2 million servers, which equates to around 15 exabytes (or 15,000,000,000,000,000,000 bytes). Assuming a punch card holds 80 characters, all of that data comes out to 4.5 kilometers/2.8 miles, 3x deeper than the New England ice sheets.
|{{blog|63|2013|09|17}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Rising Steadily.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|64|Rising Steadily}}'''
|''"If you suddenly began rising steadily at one foot per second, how exactly would you die? Would you freeze or suffocate first? Or something else?"''
<div align="right">—Rebecca B</div>
|A nudist would survive for five hours, then succumb to the cold. With a good coat, one would survive for seven, even plausibly eight, until reaching the low-oxygen {{w|death zone}} and suffocating. However, your corpse would outlast the Earth as it was swallowed by the Sun.
|{{blog|64|2013|09|24}}
|{{book|1|15}}
|
|-
|[[File:Twitter Timeline Height.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|65|Twitter Timeline Height}}'''
|''"If our Twitter timelines (tweets by the people we follow) actually extended off the screen in both directions, how tall would they be?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|It's difficult to pin down an "average" for Twitter timeline lengths, but an estimate by Diego Basch and the Tweet rate as of 2013 suggests that the section timeline extending to the past would have 345 billion tweets and be 8,000,000 kilometers (5,000,000 miles) tall. Using extrapolation techniques similar to those used in the {{w|German tank problem}}, the future and past timelines combined would likely contain 690 billion tweets.
|{{blog|65|2013|10|01}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:500 MPH.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|66|500 MPH}}'''
|''"If winds reached 500 mph, would it pick up a human?"''
<div align="right">—Grey Flynn, age 7, Stoneham, MA</div>
|500 mph winds are more than fast enough to pick up a person and propel them through the air. In fact, 500 mph winds are so fast that they only occur on Earth in extreme situations like the immediate vicinity of an erupting volcano or the aftermath of a major asteroid impact at which point wind speed would only be one of many dangers to human survival.
|{{blog|66|2013|10|08}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |[[File:Expanding Earth.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|67|Expanding Earth}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"How long would it take for people to notice their weight gain if the mean radius of the world expanded by 1cm every second? (Assuming the average composition of rock were maintained.)"''
<div align="right">—Dennis O’Donnell</div>
| rowspan="2" |After a month, the gain would be measurable but within the normal variation of gravity. After a year, it would be more prominent at 5%. Humans could survive with difficulty for a decade, but even in specially-built environments, they would succumb within a century as air itself became toxic from atmospheric pressure. After a few centuries, the Moon would fall into the Roche limit and crumble into rings.
| rowspan="2" {{blog|67|2013|10|15}}
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|55}}
|{{book|17|2024|10|15|-1-ldW4kpLM|What if Earth grew 1cm every second?}}
|-
|{{book|6|short-video=yes|2025|08|05|5k8ciEx__5w|Circumference pop quiz!}}
|-
|[[File:Little Planet.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|68|Little Planet}}'''
|''"If an asteroid was very small but supermassive, could you really live on it like the Little Prince?"''
<div align="right">—Samantha Harper</div>
|Technically, yes. However, there would be major challenges. For one, gravity would be at full strength at your feet, but only 25% strength at your head, giving the illusion that you're being stretched. You would need to sprint at 3 meters per second to leave orbit. However, if you don't make it to that point, you would enter a highly eccentric orbit which would pull on your body in strange ways. Alternatively, you could escape the atmosphere by jumping. If you can make a dunk in basketball on Earth, you could escape this body by jumping.
|{{blog|68|2013|10|22}}
|{{book|1|22}}
|
|-
|[[File:Facebook of the Dead.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|69|Facebook of the Dead}}'''
|''"When, if ever, will Facebook contain more profiles of dead people than of living ones?"''
<div align="right">—Emily Dunham</div>
|This depends on if Facebook stays popular or declines in popularity over time. In the former case, the dead would only outnumber the living well into the 2100s; while in the latter, this happens around 2060. Facebook can afford to keep all our data indefinitely, but there are ethical questions.
|{{blog|69|2013|10|29}}
|{{book|1|59}}
|
|-
|[[File:The Constant Groundskeeper.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|70|The Constant Groundskeeper}}'''
|''"How big of a lawn would you have to have so that when you finished mowing you'd need to start over because the grass has grown?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Nelson</div>
|A normal, standard-issue mower running for 10 hours straight could cut an area of 25,000 square meters, or 27,000 yards. Using a much faster mower commissioned by the magazine ''Top Gear'' that is used all day, every day, it could cut an adult male cougar's home range (which [https://wdfw.wa.gov/species-habitats/species/puma-concolor#:~:text=Adult%20male%20cougars%20roam%20widely,terrain%2C%20and%20availability%20of%20prey. the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife] reports as 50-150 miles or 80-240 kilometers).
|{{blog|70|2013|11|05}}
|
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|-
|[[File:Stirring Tea.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|71|Stirring Tea}}'''
|''"I was absentmindedly stirring a cup of hot tea, when I got to thinking, "aren't I actually adding kinetic energy into this cup?" I know that stirring does help to cool down the tea, but what if I were to stir it faster? Would I be able to boil a cup of water by stirring?"''
<div align="right">—Will Evans</div>
|No, not really, It would take at least 1 horsepower (a lot for a person stirring), and reducing the power would just make it cool faster. Stirring faster and faster would cause a vacuum to form and stirring to become ineffective.
|{{blog|71|2013|11|12}}
|{{book|1|61}}
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|-
|[[File:Loneliest Human.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|72|Loneliest Human}}'''
|''"What is the furthest one human being has ever been from every other living person? Were they lonely?"''
<div align="right">—Bryan J. McCarter</div>
|The most well-documented candidates are six Apollo astronauts who ventured behind the dark side of the Moon. Antarctic explorers and pre-colonialism Polynesian explorers have a shot, but there's no good evidence of specific people who beat the Apollo record. Astronauts Mike Collins and Al Worden said they were not at all lonely, the latter even enjoying his soltitude.
|{{blog|72|2013|11|19}}
|{{book|1|63}}
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|-
|[[File:Lethal Neutrinos.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|73|Lethal Neutrinos}}'''
|''"How close would you have to be to a supernova to get a lethal dose of neutrino radiation?"''
<div align="right">—(Overheard in a physics department)</div>
|Neutrinos are subatomic particles that barely interact with the universe at all, so it's hard to imagine a scenario where they could harm you, even in a supernova. But at about 2.3 AU, or a little farther than Mars is from the Sun, even the neutrinos would be dense enough to kill you. On the other hand, if you were that close, you were probably inside the star that created the supernova, in which case ''[[#115|Into the Sun]]'' would apply.
|{{blog|73|2013|11|26}}
|{{book|1|39}}
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|-
|[[File:Soda Planet.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|74|Soda Planet}}'''
|''"How much of the Earth's currently-existing water has ever been turned into a soft drink at some point in its history?"''
<div align="right">—Brian Roelofs</div>
|Humans have likely consumed 6.5 trillion liters or 1.7 trillion gallons of soda ever, based on estimates of population growth and popularity of soda. Assuming humanity has drunk 100 trillion liters (26 trillion gallons) of water, it is reasonable to conclude that only 0.0000005% of Earth's current water reservoir has been turned into a soft drink. However, considering how long water takes to cycle around and certain prehistoric life forms, the water in the average soda was likely once consumed by a dinosaur.
|{{blog|74|2013|12|03}}
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|-
|[[File:Phone Keypad.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|75|Phone Keypad}}'''
|''"I use one of those old phones where you type with numbers—for example, to type "Y", you press 9 three times. Some words have consecutive letters on the same number. When they do, you have to pause between letters, making those words annoying to type. What English word has the most consecutive letters on the same key?"''
<div align="right">—Stewart Bishop</div>
|The English word with the most consecutive letters on the same key is "Nonmonogamous". This would require you to type the 6 key (MNO) 16 times without stopping, in order to type 'nonmono'. With every letter included, typing this word would require pressing the 2, 4, 7, and 8 keys once each, and the 6 key a nice, even 20 times.
|{{blog|75|2013|12|10}}
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|[[File:Reading Every Book.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|76|Reading Every Book}}'''
|''"At what point in human history were there too many (English) books to be able to read them all in one lifetime?"''
<div align="right">—Gregory Willmot</div>
|About the 1500s, as the population of active English writers reached a few hundred, meaning you would never be able to catch up (using the average word count for a few famous authors as a baseline). You might not want to read them, anyways.
|{{blog|76|2013|12|17}}
|{{book|2|10}}
|
|-
|[[File:Growth Rate.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|77|Growth Rate}}'''
|''"What height would humans reach if we kept growing through our whole development period (i.e. till late teens/early twenties) at the same pace as we do during our first month?"''
<div align="right">—Maria</div>
|We would reach 10 to 12 meters at age 20, though the human body is not scalable to those heights, as our bone structure is too thin, while our hearts wouldn't be able to pump the blood around.
|{{blog|77|2013|12|31|7d late}}
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|[[File:T-rex Calories.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|78|T-rex Calories}}'''
|''"If a T-rex were released in New York City, how many humans/day would it need to consume to get its needed calorie intake?"''
<div align="right">—Tony Schmitz</div>
|Estimates vary, but the T-rex was estimated to need 40,000 calories per day. Ryan North of Dinosaur Comics tells us that the average 80 kg/175 pound human [http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=QW-PERSON&Category_Code=QW contains 110,000 calories]. Therefore, a T-rex would need to eat someone every 2 days or so.
|{{blog|78|2014|01|07}}
|{{book|2|7|T. Rex Calories}}
|
|-
|[[File:Lake Tea.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|79|Lake Tea}}'''
|''"What if we were to dump all the tea in the world into the Great Lakes? How strong, compared to a regular cup of tea, would the lake tea be?"''
<div align="right">—Alex Burman</div>
|An average cup of tea requires 2 grams of tea per 100 mL of water, and to make proper tea out of the Great Lakes, you would need 450 billion tons of tea for the Great Lakes' 22,600 cubic kilometers/5400 cubic miles of water. A total year's supply of tea is only 4.8 million tons, which would make tea about as strong as 2 drops in a bathtub. To make proper lake tea, you could use Wular Lake in Kashmir or Ullswater in UK's lake district, due to the volume of both being small enough for the tea to work.
|{{blog|79|2014|01|14}}
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|[[File:Pile of Viruses.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|80|Pile of Viruses}}'''
|''"What if every virus in the world were collected into one area? How much volume would they take up and what would they look like?"''
<div align="right">—Dave</div>
|''Human'' viruses would fill about ten oil drums. ''All'' viruses would form a wet heap the size of a small mountain, with a texture resembling pus or meat slurry.
|{{blog|80|2014|01|21}}
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|[[File:Catch!.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|81|Catch!}}'''
|''"Is there any way to fire a gun so that the bullet flies through the air and can then be safely caught by hand? e.g. shooter is at sea level and catcher is up a mountain at the extreme range of the gun."''
<div align="right">—Ed Hui, London</div>
|Yes, eventually the bullet would come to a maximum height, at which point you could grab the bullet before it fell down. You'd need to grip it firmly, because the bullet would still have its rotational momentum and might jump out of your hand. A larger bullet would require a larger height to catch it at, and even then, it would still be difficult to grab. Of course, this is illegal and can injure you or other people.
|{{blog|81|2014|01|28}}
|{{book|2|12}}
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|-
|[[File:Hitting a comet.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|82|Hitting a comet}}'''
|''"Astrophysicists are always saying things like "This mission to this comet is equivalent to throwing a baseball from New York and hitting a particular window in San Francisco." Are they really equivalent?"''
<div align="right">—Tom Foster</div>
|The baseball thing is much harder. You'd have to hit it out of the atmosphere, and a baseball is too small to do that. Even if you could, it's still not a fair comparison because astrophysicists are allowed to refine their approach as they close in on the target, which you can't do with a thrown baseball. It turns out that the comet mission requires about the same level of precision as laser eye surgery.
|{{blog|82|2014|02|05|1d late}}
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|[[File:Star Sand.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|83|Star Sand}}'''
|''"If you made a beach using grains the proportionate size of the stars in the Milky Way, what would that beach look like?"''
<div align="right">—Jeff Wartes</div>
|Although red giants aren't as common as Sun-like stars or red dwarfs, they would form a stretch of gravel that went on for miles due to their large relative volume. 99% of all stars would form a small patch of sand.
|{{blog|83|2014|02|11|1d early}}
|{{book|2|16}}
|
|-
|[[File:Paint the Earth.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|84|Paint the Earth}}'''
|''"Has humanity produced enough paint to cover the entire land area of the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Josh (Bolton, MA)</div>
|There isn't enough paint to go around. The total estimated amount of produced paint, a trillion litres, is only enough to paint as much as the land area of Russia.
|{{blog|84|2014|02|18}}
|{{book|2|14}}
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|-
|[[File:Rocket Golf.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|85|Rocket Golf}}'''
|''"Assuming that you have a spaceship in orbit around the Earth, could you propel your ship to speeds exceeding escape velocity by hitting golf balls in the other direction? If so, how many golf balls would be required to reach the Moon?"''
<div align="right">—Dan (Kanata, Ontario)</div>
|You ''could'' propel your ship using golf balls, but, assuming they are being fired at 226 mph (363 km/h), the fastest world record, the amount of golf balls needed for this would be around the size of Earth and wouldn't even get you to the Moon. You'd need a potato cannon fueled by acetylene firing golf balls at 310 mph (500 km/h) which reduces the size of the golf mass to 150 miles (240 kilometers). This would be incredibly costly and firing them faster would essentially be the same as building a normal rocket.
|{{blog|85|2014|02|25}}
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|[[File:Far-Traveling Objects.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|86|Far-Traveling Objects}}'''
|''"In terms of human-made objects, has Voyager 1 travelled the farthest distance? It's certainly the farthest from Earth we know about. But what about the edge of ultracentrifuges, or generator turbines that have been running for years, for example?"''
<div align="right">—Matt Russell</div>
|There are a few different frames of reference you can look at, but in normal terms Mariner 10 has traveled much farther than Voyager 1. It's travelled a couple of light-days around the Sun, while the Voyager probes have only travelled a dozen light-hours.
|{{blog|86|2014|03|04}}
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|[[File:Enforced by Radar.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|87|Enforced by Radar}}'''
|''"I've occasionally seen "radar enforced" on speed limit signs, and I can't help but ask: How intense would radio waves have to be to stop a car from going over the speed limit, and what would happen if this were attempted?"''
<div align="right">—Joausc</div>
|Radio waves are generally ''very weak''. You'd need the collective energy of trillions of cell phones just to levitate a snow flake. To stop a car, you'd need at least 2 trillion joules of radiation, which would vaporize the car and everything else around it.
|{{blog|87|2014|03|11}}
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|[[File:Soda Sequestration.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|88|Soda Sequestration}}'''
|''"How much CO2 is contained in the world's stock of bottled fizzy drinks? How much soda would be needed to bring atmospheric CO2 back to preindustrial levels?"''
<div align="right">—Brandon Seah</div>
|There are currently 400 parts of carbon dioxide per million. To bring it down to pre-Industrial levels, you'd need 450 quadrillion cans of soda, each being able to hold 2.2 grams of CO2. This would cover Earth's land 10 times over.
|{{blog|88|2014|03|18}}
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|[[File:Tungsten Countertop.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|89|Tungsten Countertop}}'''
|''"How far would a tungsten countertop descend if I dropped it into the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Leuchtenburg</div>
|Tungsten has the highest melting point of any element, but even tungsten would melt before it got too far. If you protected it with a heat shield, it would get destroyed all the same by the battering of the particles in the Sun's atmosphere. It could possibly penetrate the surface if it was larger, but as it stands, it wouldn't get past the outer layers.
|{{blog|89|2014|03|25}}
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|[[File:Great Tree, Great Axe.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|90|Great Tree, Great Axe}}'''
|''"If all the seas were one sea,''
''What a great sea that would be!''
''If all the trees were one tree,''
''What a great tree that would be!''
''If all the men were one man,''
''What a great man that would be!''
''If all the axes were one axe,''
''What a great axe that would be!''
''And if the great man took the great axe,''
''And cut down the great tree,''
''And let if fall into the great sea,''
''What a great splish-splash that would be!''

''... How great would all of these things be?"''
<div align="right">—John Eifert (quoting a ''Mother Goose'' rhyme)</div>
|The seas would be a little bigger than the Pacific Ocean. Trees can't grow taller than about 130 meters naturally, and would physically crush itself if above a few kilometers tall. Ignoring these restraints, the tree would be about 75 km tall with trunk diameter of 2 km. Ignoring human size restraints, the person would be close to 3 km tall. The axe would be about 500 meters long and relatively the size of a flimsy hatchet. It may take a few weeks to chop down the tree and the impact would create a tsunami that probably wouldn't wipe out the human race, but would be likely the deadliest single disaster in our history.
|{{blog|90|2014|04|03|2d late}}
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|[[File:Faucet Power.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|91|Faucet Power}}'''
|''"I just moved into a new apartment. It includes hot water but I have to pay the electric bill. So being a person on a budget ... what's the best way to use my free faucet to generate electricity?"''
<div align="right">—David Axel Kurtz</div>
|A small hydroelectric dam in the bathtub would yield about $0.25 per month of electricity, but the best option would probably be to bottle and sell your tap water, yielding about $38 million per year at $1.50 per bottle.
|{{blog|91|2014|04|08|2d early}}
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|[[File:One-Second Day.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|92|One-Second Day}}'''
|''"What would happen if the Earth's rotation were sped up until a day only lasted one second?"''
<div align="right">—Dylan</div>
|Everything on Earth would die, but if it happened when the Moon crosses the plane of the Earth, then everything in the Solar System will die (whether there is a difference is debatable).
|{{blog|92|2014|04|15}}
|{{book|2|21}}
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|-
|[[File:Windshield Raindrops.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|93|Windshield Raindrops}}'''
|''"At what speed would you have to drive for rain to shatter your windshield?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Butler</div>
|Water droplets in air are normally lighter than the air, so this wouldn't happen under normal circumstances. However, at supersonic speeds, the water droplet would impact the windshield at Mach 18. It wouldn't shatter the windshield, but it would slowly batter it away.
|{{blog|93|2014|04|22}}
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|[[File:Billion-Story Building.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|94|Billion-Story Building}}'''
|''"My daughter — age 4.5 — maintains she wants a billion-story building. It turns out not only is that hard to help her appreciate this size, I am not at all able to explain all of the other difficulties you'd have to overcome."''
<div align="right">—Keira, via Steve Brodovicz, Media, PA </div>
|The tower would be far too big to support itself under its own weight. The tower would also extend past the Moon. The sheer amount of elevators needed would provide little to no room for actual usable space. Additionally, space junk would be a large problem, as there is a high probability that space junk would collide with the tower.
|{{blog|94|2014|04|29}}
|{{book|2|22}}
|{{book|21|2025|02|11|Z_xJ40QXu7Q|What if you built a billion-story building?}}
|-
|[[File:Pyramid Energy.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|95|Pyramid Energy}}'''
|''"What took more energy, the building of the Great Pyramid of Giza or the Apollo Mission? If we could convert the energy to build the Great Pyramid, would it be enough to send a rocket to the Moon and back?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Marmol</div>
|The Apollo Program took about the same manpower as the building of the Great Pyramids, but physics wise, the Great Pyramid only contains 10<sup>12</sup> joules of gravitational potential energy. A single Saturn V rocket's fuel has 20 times more energy.
|{{blog|95|2014|05|06}}
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|[[File:$2 Undecillion Lawsuit.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|96|$2 Undecillion Lawsuit}}'''
|''"What if Au Bon Pain lost '''[http://www.loweringthebar.net/2014/05/2-undecillion-dollar-demand.html this lawsuit]''' and had to pay the plaintiff $2 undecillion?"''
<div align="right">—Kevin Underhill</div>
|The debt would be incredibly great, to the point that everything ever created by man does not have enough value to pay it off. For comparison, former soliciter general Ted Olson leaked that he charges $1600 per hour for his services. Even if every habitable planet in the Milky Way had a population of 8 billion Ted Olsons, and you hired all of them for a thousand generations, the cost would still be lower than if you lost.
|{{blog|96|2014|05|14|1d late}}
|{{book|2|23}}
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|-
|[[File:Burning Pollen.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|97|Burning Pollen}}'''
|''"What if you were to somehow ignite the pollen that floats around in the air in spring? Other than being a really bad idea, what effect would it have?"''
<div align="right">—Jessica Thornburg</div>
|It would just warm up the air by a very tiny bit, but only because it's so thinly spread. Gathering all of it from a large enough region into one pile could equal a nuclear weapon.
|{{blog|97|2014|05|20|1d early}}
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|[[File:Blood Alcohol.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|98|Blood Alcohol}}'''
|''"Could you get drunk from drinking a drunk person's blood?"''
<div align="right">—Fiona Byrne</div>
|No, you can't. Alcohol in a drunk person's blood would be very diluted and by the time you drank the 14 glasses needed to get drunk, you would've vomited on the account of drinking blood. That aside, you could also get iron overload as well as various blood-borne diseases.
|{{blog|98|2014|05|27}}
|{{book|2|42}}
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|-
|[[File:Starlings.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|99|Starlings}}'''
|''"I was watching '''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eakKfY5aHmY this video]''' and was wondering: How many birds there would need to be for gravity to take over and force them into a gargantuan ball of birds?"''
<div align="right">—Justin Basinger</div>
|Each bird is 85 grams, with a density of around 43 grams per square meter. Because of this, the air would be 25 times stronger than the starlings and the substance governing the collapse. The air would have to be bigger than the Earth to collapse the starlings and the starlings themselves would need to be bigger than the Solar System. They would then promptly turn into a star.
|{{blog|99|2014|06|03}}
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|[[File:WWII Films.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|100|WWII Films}}'''
|''"Did WWII last longer than the total length of movies about WWII? For that matter, which war has the highest movie time:war time ratio?"''
<div align="right">—Becky</div>
|Assuming the average run time of a WWII film was 95 minutes, the combined length was 300 days, meaning World War II was longer than the movies 7 times over. The two most likely candidates for highest movie:war ratio are the Indo-Pakistani war, which lasted 13 days and has 5 catalogued films about it, and the Anglo-Zanzibar war, which only lasted 38 minutes but lacked any films. In 2015, someone took Randall's advice and made [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5954666/ Zanzibar], a short film (31 minutes) that takes the record.
|{{blog|100|2014|06|11|1d late}}
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|[[File:Plastic Dinosaurs.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|101|Plastic Dinosaurs}}'''
|''"As plastic is made from oil and oil is made from dead dinosaurs, how much actual real dinosaur is there in a plastic dinosaur?"''
<div align="right">—Steve Lydford</div>
|Contrary to the name, oil is not made of dead dinosaurs, mostly being composed of marine plankton and algae. Geology is complicated, but the gist is that only a small fraction of a plastic dinosaur toy could've come from dinosaur oil, and depending on the location, it may contain none at all.
|{{blog|101|2014|06|18}}
|{{book|2|26}}
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|-
|[[File:Keyboard Power.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|102|Keyboard Power}}'''
|''"As a writer, I'm wondering what would be the cumulative energy of the hundreds of thousands of keystrokes required to write a novel."''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Dickner</div>
|Writing one full novel would provide enough energy to run a laptop for 15 seconds. If each novel takes you six months, this would save a fraction of a penny of electricity. To keep a laptop, you'd need to write a novel every ten seconds, and to run a microwave would require one novel per second.
|{{blog|102|2014|06|25}}
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|[[File:Vanishing Water.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|103|Vanishing Water}}'''
|''"What would happen if all the bodies of water on Earth magically disappeared?"''
<div align="right">—Joanna Xu</div>
|If all water vanished, the first to notice would be anybody currently in the ocean, and over the course of a minute, they would all fall, some of them dying but some surviving with minor injuries. After this, all marine life will have perished. Humans follow soon after as the water cycle would've stopped, collapsing global infrustructure and killing every plant and person by dehydration. The end of the water cycle also leads to a runaway greenhouse effect later on.
|{{blog|103|2014|07|02}}
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|[[File:Global Snow.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|104|Global Snow}}'''
|''"From my seven-year-old son: How many snowflakes would it take to cover the entire world in six feet of snow? (I don't know why six feet...but that's what he asked.)"''
<div align="right">—Jed Scott</div>
|Snow isn't very dense, and 1 inch of rain would lead to a foot or more of snow. Factoring in snow compressing throughout the day, you would need a mole of snowflakes to cover the Earth in 6 feet in snow.
|{{blog|104|2014|07|09}}
|{{book|2|59}}
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|-
|[[File:Cannibalism.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|105|Cannibalism}}'''
|''"How long could the human race survive on only cannibalism?"''
<div align="right">—Quinn Shaffer</div>
|If half of the world eats the other half, then it would take about 32 months before it came down to 2 people. However, this is also a very efficient way to get a {{w|Transmissible spongiform encephalopathy|prion disease}}.
|{{blog|105|2014|07|16}}
|
|{{book|31|2025|09|30|PUtI3xoaHx0|Could we survive eating only humans?}}
|-
|[[File:Ink Molecules.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|106|Ink Molecules}}'''
|''"Suppose you were to print, in 12 point text, the numeral 1 using a common cheap ink-jet printer. How many molecules of the ink would be used? At what numerical value would the number printed approximately equal the number of ink molecules used?"''
<div align="right">—David Pelkey</div>
|You'd use about 100,000,000,000,000,000 molecules.
|{{blog|106|2014|07|23}}
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|[[File:Letter to Mom.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|107|Letter to Mom}}'''
|''"What’s the fastest way to get a hand-written letter from my place in Chicago to my mother in New Jersey?"''
<div align="right">—Tim</div>
|An ICBM would take 12-15 minutes to cross the distance. While that is the best method, a few other methods come close. The Concorde would only take 30 minutes, while firing something with a rail gun down a vacuum tube would take only 10-20 minutes.
|{{blog|107|2014|07|30}}
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|[[File:Expensive Shoebox.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|108|Expensive Shoebox}}'''
|''"What would be the most expensive way to fill a size 11 shoebox (e.g. with 64 GB MicroSD cards all full of legally purchased music)?"''
<div align="right">—Rick Lewis</div>
|There are many options (precious materials, hard drugs, physical file storage, etc.), but they all cap out at ~$2,000,000,000. That amount of platinum would be worth $13 million, while diamonds, Adcetris and LSD would be valued around 1-2 billion,
|{{blog|108|2014|08|13|7d late}}
|{{book|2|31}}
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|-
|[[File:Into the Blue.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|109|Into the Blue}}'''
|''"If I shot an infinitely strong laser beam into the sky at a random point, how much damage would it do?"''
<div align="right">—Garrett D.</div>
|Infinitely powerful laser beams do not exist, and if they did, they would vaporize the air and destroy everything like in the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|13|Laser Pointer}}''. That being said, if it were truly random, it would be aimed at Earth 50% of the time. If you miss the Earth, 89,999 times out of 90,000, your beam will pass right out of the galaxy without hitting anything. When it does hit something, it will almost always be the Sun or the Moon.
|{{blog|109|2014|08|20}}
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|[[File:Walking New York.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|110|Walking New York}}'''
|''"Could a person walk the entire city of NY in their lifetime? (including inside apartments)"''
<div align="right">—Asif Shamir</div>
|Based on estimates of US Postal Service carriers and their travel times, we know that walking every street in NYC would probably take 14 years. Assuming it takes about 25 seconds to enter an apartment building, leave, and go to the next one, it would only take an additional 10 years to visit every apartment. However, under [http://ypdcrime.com/penal.law/article140.htm New York Penal Code], the punishment would take 2 million years or 2,000 millenia to finish.
|{{blog|110|2014|08|27}}
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|[[File:All the Money.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|111|All the Money}}'''
|''"People sometimes say "If I had all the money in the world ..." in order to discuss what they would do if they had no financial constraints. I'm curious, though, what would happen if one person had all of the world's money?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Pino</div>
|Currency only makes up a fraction of Earth's money, and it's unlikely people would agree to your sudden claims of ownership over all of the land, nor would they let you spend the actual currency you have. Said currency would quickly crush you, as most of its weight is in coinage. You could build a structure to contain the coins, but this would violate NYC building codes.
|{{blog|111|2014|09|02|1d early}}
|
|{{book|25|2025|05|06|saj7b5C6TCM|What if you literally had all the money in the world?}}
|-
|[[File:Balloon Car.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|112|Balloon Car}}'''
|''"My 12-year-old daughter is proposing an interesting project. She is planning to attach a number of helium balloons to a chair, which in turn would be tethered by means of a rope to a Ferrari. Her 13-year-old friend would then drive the Ferrari around, while she sits in the chair enjoying uninterrupted views of the countryside. Leaving aside the legal and insurance difficulties, my daughter is keen to know the maximum speed that she could expect to attain, and how many helium balloons would be required."''
<div align="right">—Phil Rodgers, Cambridge, UK</div>
|A balloon just big enough to lift you would be pushed down by the wind, and a balloon big enough to counteract that would lift up the car along with you. The way to achieve this result is [https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=parasailing parasailing].
|{{blog|112|2014|09|17|8d late}}
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|[[File:Visit Every State.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|113|Visit Every State}}'''
|''"How fast could you visit all 50 states?"''
<div align="right">—as discussed by Stephen Von Worley <span class="plainlinks">on [http://www.datapointed.net/2012/08/fastest-route-to-visit-all-fifty-united-states/ '''''Data Pointed''''']</span>
|It would take you 160 hours by car, 39 hours by landing a private jet in each state, and 18 hours by F-22 fighter jet and helicopter landing in each state. However, if you relax the requirement to land in each state and simply count entering the state's airspace as "visiting" it, you can do it in around 7 hours with an SR-71 Blackbird. If we allow satellite orbits, you can do it in just over 6 hours with five orbits, assuming your satellite makes a course correction on each orbit.
|{{blog|113|2014|09|24}}
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|[[File:Antimatter.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|114|Antimatter}}'''
|''"What if everything was antimatter, EXCEPT Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Sean Gallagher</div>
|It would wipe out all life on Earth, but surprisingly slower than you might expect. The annihilation of antimatter entering the atmosphere would add enough extra heat to create a runaway greenhouse effect and make Earth similar to Venus. We would be in much more danger from meteorites, with dinosaur-killer equivalents hitting the upper atmosphere every few months.
|{{blog|114|2014|10|01}}
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|[[File:Into the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|115|Into the Sun}}'''
|''"When I was about 8 years old, shoveling snow on a freezing day in Colorado, I wished that I could be instantly transported to the surface of the Sun, just for a nanosecond, then instantly transported back. I figured this would be long enough to warm me up but not long enough to harm me. What would actually happen?"''
<div align="right">—AJ, Kansas City</div>
|You would not be warmed if you went to the surface, as the energy received by your skin would be minimal. You would maybe see a bright flash of light. The core, on the other hand, would vaporize you, as the energy delivered there would be able to give you a second-degree burn after 1 femtosecond (1 millionth of a nanosecond) in the core.
|{{blog|115|2014|10|08}}
|{{book|2|61}}
|{{book|15|2024|09|03|UXA-Af-JeCE|Could you survive a nanosecond on the Sun?}}
|-
| rowspan="3" |[[File:No-Rules NASCAR.png|100px]]
| rowspan="3" |'''{{What If|116|No-Rules NASCAR}}'''
| rowspan="3" |''"If you stripped away all the rules of car racing and had a contest which was simply to get a human being around a track 200 times as fast as possible, what strategy would win? Let's say the racer has to survive."''
<div align="right">—Hunter Freyer</div>
| rowspan="3" |If the rider has to survive, 90 minutes is the limit based on human G-force tolerances. If survival is not a priority, you'd build a particle accelerator.
| rowspan="3" {{blog|116|2014|10|15}}
| rowspan="3" {{book|2|35}}
|{{book|3|2023|12|19|JcXpCyPc2Xw|What if NASCAR had no rules?}}
|-
|{{book|8|short-video=yes|2025|08|26|eSPcp-tfGbA|How fast could a human accellerate (while staying alive)?}}
|-
|{{book|9|short-video=yes|2025|09|02|rgUfcFAPicY|How fast could a vehicle go around a track - but the racer does not have to survive.}}
|-
|[[File:Distant Death.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|117|Distant Death}}'''
|''"What is the farthest from Earth that any Earth thing has died?"''
<div align="right">—Amy from NZ</div>
|The farthest that any human has died is about 167 kilometers. In terms of any living thing, however, bacterial spores on Voyager 1 are dying every few months, setting a new record each time.
|{{blog|117|2014|10|23|1d late}}
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|[[File:Physical Salary.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|118|Physical Salary}}'''
|''"What if people's incomes appeared around them as cash in real time? How much would you need to make to be in real trouble?"''
<div align="right">—Julia Anderson, Albuquerque, NM</div>
|At minimum US wage, a worker would earn about one water bottle of mixed coins per day. A CEO would earn about 600 such bottles per day, and the coins would accumulate on the floor at a rate of about 0.5 inches per day. Mark Zuckerberg would earn 25 such bottles ''per second'', and the coins would bury him if he sat still for an hour.
|{{blog|118|2014|10|30}}
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| rowspan="2" |[[File:Laser Umbrella.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|119|Laser Umbrella}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"Stopping rain from falling on something with an umbrella or a tent is boring. What if you tried to stop rain with a laser that targeted and vaporized each incoming droplet before it could come within ten feet of the ground?"''
<div align="right">—Zach Wheeler</div>
| rowspan="2" |It's doable in theory, but the energy required to completely vaporize a raindrop (rather than merely splattering it) is high enough that your surroundings would get dangerously hot. Targeting the droplets might be possible with adaptive optics, but it would require a complicated device. You could try firing rapidly in random directions instead, but your high-powered laser might go several hundred meters without hitting a raindrop, which would endanger your local neighborhood.
| rowspan="2"{{blog|119|2014|11|13|7d late}}
| rowspan="2"{{book|2|37}}
|{{book|6|2024|02|20|zgBTwtg7H8E|Could you make an umbrella out of lasers?}}
|-
|{{book|15|short-video=yes|2025|11|4|xA9aqKGBeOs|Could you use a laser as an umbrella?}}
|-
|[[File:Alternate Universe What Ifs.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|120|Alternate Universe What Ifs}}'''
|''"Dispatches from a horrifying alternate universe"''
|Excerpts from ''what if?'' articles written in a world which, thankfully, is not the one we live in.
|{{blog|120|2014|11|20}}
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|[[File:Frozen Rivers.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|121|Frozen Rivers}}'''
|''"What would happen if all of the rivers in the US were instantly frozen in the middle of the summer?"''
<div align="right">—Zoe Cutler</div>
|Anywhere with rain or snowmelt would be horrifically flooded, and ice would break, then dam up rivers, forming huge lakes. Humanity would be worse for the wear, but all in all fine. Places where electricity is gotten using a hydroelectric dam may be out of power for a bit, but the flow of water would return in time.
|{{blog|121|2014|12|11}} 14d late)
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|[[File:Lava Lamp.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|122|Lava Lamp}}'''
|''"What if I made a lava lamp out of real lava? What could I use as a clear medium? How close could I stand to watch it?"''
<div align="right">—Kathy Johnstone, 6th Grade Teacher (via a student)</div>
|You would need to use a metal or gemstone with a very high heat tolerance. You could possibly use sapphire or some sort of transparent or translucent tungsten, but the clear medium would eventually fog up and prevent you from seeing the lava. The lava would solidify after approximately a minute without some way to continuously heat it.
|{{blog|122|2014|12|18}}
|{{book|2|40}}
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|-
|[[File:Fairy Demographics.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|123|Fairy Demographics}}'''
|''"How many fairies would fly around, if each fairy is born from the first laugh of a child and fairies were immortal?"''
<div align="right">—Mira Kühn, Germany</div>
|If fairies appeared with the first laugh of a ''homo sapiens'', there would be around 100 billion fairies, and they, depending on their size, would probably be considered no more than a common pest. Because of their high population, however, they would probably be considered a major part of the ecosystems where they resided.
|{{blog|123|2015|01|01|7d late}}
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| rowspan="2" |[[File:Lunar Swimming.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|124|Lunar Swimming}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"What if there was a lake on the Moon? What would it be like to swim in it? Presuming that it is sheltered in a regular atmosphere, in some giant dome or something."''
<div align="right">—Kim Holder</div>
| rowspan="2" |It would be super-cool, given that lower gravity would increase the size of splashes and the height of jumps.
| rowspan="2" {{blog|124|2015|01|08}}
| rowspan="2" |
|{{book|20|2024|12|24|aIIBBj6KR-Y|What if we put a pool on the moon?}}
|-
|{{book|7|short-video=yes|2025|08|12|mtTbwHzhUiM|Petition to send a swimming pool to the moon!}}
|-
|[[File:Bowling Ball 2.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|125|Bowling Ball}}'''
|''"You are in a boat directly over the Mariana Trench. If you drop a 7kg bowling ball over the side, how long would it take to hit the bottom?"''
<div align="right">—Doug Carter</div>
|It would take two hours and 20 minutes.
|{{blog|125|2015|01|15}}
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|[[File:Stairs (What If?).png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|126|Stairs}}'''
|''"If you made an elevator that would go to space (like the one you mentioned in the '''{{what if|94|billion-story building}}''') and built a staircase up (assuming regulated air pressure) about how long would it take to climb to the top?"''
<div align="right">—Ethan Annas</div>
|It would take about half a day by motorcycle, or a week or two for a professional stair-climber. If going on foot, you'd also need to carry a huge backpack stuffed with nothing but sticks of butter in order to get your daily caloric intake (including the energy expended from climbing the stairs).
|{{blog|126|2015|01|22}}
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|[[File:Tug of War.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|127|Tug of War}}'''
|''"Would it be possible for two teams in a tug-o-war to overcome the ultimate tensile strength of an iron rod and pull it apart? How big would the teams have to be?"''
<div align="right">—Markus Andersen</div>
|Two teams of 25 people each would be able to rip a half-inch iron bar apart: tug-o-war is a very dangerous game, as there's so much force being exerted on the rope. The theoretical upper limit of a game is 100,000 players each, pulling a 200-mile–long rope made of graphite ribbons.
|{{blog|127|2015|01|28|1d early}}
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|[[File:Zippo Phone.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|128|Zippo Phone}}'''
|''"What in my pocket actually contains more energy, my Zippo or my smartphone? What would be the best way of getting the energy from one to the other? And since I am already feeling like Bilbo in this one, is there anything else in my pocket that would have unexpected amounts of stored energy?"''
<div align="right">—Ian Cummings</div>
|The Zippo has more energy than your phone battery, but your hand would have even more, when burned as fuel.
|{{blog|128|2015|02|05|1d late}}
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|[[File:Black Hole Moon.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|129|Black Hole Moon}}'''
|''"What would happen if the Moon were replaced with an equivalently-massed black hole? If it's possible, what would a lunar ("holar"?) eclipse look like?"''
<div align="right">—Matt</div>
|Not much would change. A black hole of the Moon's mass would be the size of a sand grain, but gravitational effects would still be more or less the same here on Earth. There would be no moonlight, which would make the Earth a bit colder and mess with some nocturnal animals. You wouldn't see any lunar eclipses due to the tiny size of the Moon. It would only cause significant problems if humans were on the moon at the time.
|{{blog|129|2015|02|12}}
|
|{{book|28|2025|07|08|UQgw50GQu1A|What if the moon turned into a black hole?}}
|-
|[[File:Snow Removal.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|130|Snow Removal}}'''
|''"I've long thought about putting a flamethrower on the front of a car to melt snow and ice before you drive across it. Now I've realized that a flamethrower is impractical, but what about a high-powered microwave emitter?"''
<div align="right">—Matt Van Opens</div>
|The flamethrower is more practical because microwaves don't heat ice very well. The microwave beam would require the power output of three aircraft carriers, and the flamethrower would have a gas mileage of 17 feet per gallon. If you were to drive on the highway for an hour using this method, it would burn 18,635 gallons of gasoline, worth $40,000 to $50,000.
|{{blog|130|2015|02|19}}
|
|{{book|26|2025|05|27|WYf9-xfm6t8|What if you used a flamethrower as a snowblower?}}
|-
|[[File:Microwaves.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|131|Microwaves}}'''
|''"I have had a particular problem for as long as I can remember. Any time I attempt to heat left over Chinese food in a microwave, it fails to heat completely through somewhere. Usually the center but not always and usually rice, but often it will be a small section of meat. It's baffling and has made me automatically adjust heating times to over 2 minutes. In most cases this tends to heat the bowl or plate more than the food. So I suppose the question is what is the optimal time to heat left over Chinese food in the microwave, how about an 800 watt microwave?"''
<div align="right">—James</div>
|The first cause of this issue is that the wave pattern of microwaves create 'dead spots' where the food isn't heated. Secondly, melted ice causes some parts to cook while the rest is still defrosting. Use a lower power level, stir your food partway through microwaving, and let it sit for a few minutes before you eat it. This allows the heat to spread evenly.
|{{blog|131|2015|02|27|1d late}}
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|[[File:Hotter than Average.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|132|Hotter than Average}}'''
|''"I saw a sign at a hot springs tub saying "Caution: Water is hotter than average" with water at about 39°C. Although they were presumably trying to say "hotter than the average swimming pool," this got me wondering: What is the average temperature of all water on the Earth’s surface, and how does that temperature compare to 39°C?"''
<div align="right">—Graham Ward</div>
|The water average is the year-round average air temperature. By saying the water is "hotter than average", they're implying the water in the pool is not tied to it. Give the signmakers some credit.
|{{blog|132|2015|03|07|1d late}}
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|[[File:Flagpole.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|133|Flagpole}}'''
|''"So, you're falling from a height above the tallest building in your town, and you don't have a parachute. But wait! Partway down the side of that skyscraper there's a flagpole sticking out, sans flag! You angle your descent and grab the pole just long enough to swing around so that when you let go you're now heading back up toward the sky. As gravity slows you and brings you to a halt, you reach the top of the skyscraper, where you reach out and pull yourself to safety. What's the likelihood this could happen?"''
<div align="right">—Rex Ungericht</div>
|It would be impossible, even a gymnast's arms would be ripped off from the force.
|{{blog|133|2015|03|17|3d late}}
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|[[File:Space Burial.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|134|Space Burial}}'''
|''"I've often joked I'd like to have my remains put into orbit. Not in a "scatter my ashes" sense, but, like, "throw my naked corpse out the airlock" sense. Honestly, my main motivation is to baffle someone in the distant future, but it's an interesting scientific question: what would happen to my body in orbit over the course of years, decades or centuries?"''
<div align="right">—Tim in Fremont</div>
|Even before you were launched, your body would dry out very quickly. In low orbit, your body would fall to Earth and be burned from atmospheric re-entry. In a higher orbit, it would be destroyed from space debris. In high orbit, you could last for a few centuries. If your body was ever found it would mean there are a lot of people travelling around: making bodies pretty common.
|{{blog|134|2015|03|28|4d late}}
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|[[File:Digging Downward.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|135|Digging Downward}}'''
|''"What would happen if I dug straight down, at a speed of 1 foot per second? What would kill me first?"''
<div align="right">—Jack Kaunis</div>
|To remove all that soil, the energy required would heat up the surrounding beyond fatal levels pretty quickly. Immune to the heat, you could survive for one to two hours, as oxygen becomes toxic at depths higher than 5 kilometers.
|{{blog|135|2015|04|05|1d late}}
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|[[File:Spiders vs. the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|136|Spiders vs. the Sun}}'''
|''"Which has a greater gravitational pull on me: the Sun, or spiders? Granted, the Sun is much bigger, but it is also much further away, and as I learned in high school physics, the gravitational force is proportional to the square of the distance."''
<div align="right">—Marina Fleming</div>
|The Sun, by 13 orders of magnitude (the Sun is very big). But spiders are a lot more scary.
|{{blog|136|2015|04|12}}
|{{book|2|44}}
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|-
|[[File:New Horizons.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|137|New Horizons}}'''
|''"What if New Horizons hits my car?"''
<div align="right">—Robin Sheat</div>
| ''Note: This question was created before ''New Horizons'' passed by Pluto.'' This is extremely unlikely. The ''New Horizons'' probe is quite large, but is considered small for a spacecraft. If it crashed into your car, there would be serious consequences. However, if it did, NASA would be on the hook to replace your car, along with most of your neighbourhood, and clean up the radioactive mess.
|{{blog|137|2015|07|14|2m 25d late}}
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|[[File:Jupiter Submarine.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|138|Jupiter Submarine}}'''
|''"What if you released a submarine into Jupiter's atmosphere? Would it eventually reach a point where it would float? Could it navigate?"''
<div align="right">—KTH</div>
|No. Before it got to the point where it could float, the submarine would be crushed by the high pressure and melted by the high temperature. This is because gasses behave differently to fluids: the point where things can float is at a much higher pressure.
|{{blog|138|2015|07|28|7d late}}
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|[[File:Jupiter Descending.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|139|Jupiter Descending}}'''
|''"If you did '''{{what if|138|fall into Jupiter's atmosphere in a submarine}}''', what would it actually look like? What would you see before you melted or burned up?"''
<div align="right">—Ada Munroe</div>
|There's not a whole lot to go on here; we have some data and educated guesses about what's going inside these gas giants, but we haven't sent any probes equipped with operational cameras into a gas giant so we don't really know. A book by Michael Carroll suggests that there is a layer between the upper ammonia haze and lower ammonium hydrosulfide clouds, that could provide some good views, and if so, the view would be similar to Earth's atmosphere in that clouds and fellow submarines would fade into blue.
|{{blog|139|2015|08|04}}
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|[[File:Proton Earth, Electron Moon.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|140|Proton Earth, Electron Moon}}'''
|''"What if the Earth were made entirely of protons, and the Moon were made entirely of electrons?"''
<div align="right">—Noah Williams</div>
|There would be so much energy packed into one space that it would create a black hole as massive as the observable universe that would expand outwards at the speed of light. Because of the charge from the electrons, it would be a {{w|naked singularity}}, a black hole with infinite mass that allows light to escape.
|{{blog|140|2015|09|18|1m 7d late}}
|{{book|2|48}}
|{{book|30|2025|9|9|DiWFXv9N0Vs|What if the Moon were made entirely of electrons?}}
|-
|[[File:Sunbeam.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|141|Sunbeam}}'''
|''"What if all of the sun's output of visible light were bundled up into a laser-like beam that had a diameter of around 1m once it reaches Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Max Schäfer</div>
|According to Randall, parts of the atmosphere would be heated to millions of degrees, and the bubble of destruction would wrap around the Earth before it even reached the other side. The light reflected off the Moon would be hot enough to burn you to death. If the beam couldn't track the Earth, part of it would survive as the Earth orbited out of the way. If the beam reached another planetary system, it could heat up the surface of some distant exoplanets. However, this conclusion depends on the precise nature of the "bundling up". If this "bundling" is accomplished via passive optics such as lenses and mirrors, then the temperature (and geometry) of the incoming beam will be restricted according to all the optics principles described in "Fire from Moonlight", and under no circumstances would any part of Earth's atmosphere or surface exceed 5000 K, due to the laws of thermodynamics. If, however, the "bundling" consists of an "active" procedure of generating electricity via PV panels, and then powering actual laser emitters with it (not just "laser-like") - which doesn't sound like Max's conception - then yes, the narrow beam of essentially "infinite" temperature and consequent destruction that Randall describes could indeed occur.
|{{blog|141|2016|01|12|3m 18d late}}
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|{{book|33|2025|11|11|qu8nx1qUwEU|What if ALL the sun’s power was focused in one place?}}
|-
|[[File:Space Jetta.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|142|Space Jetta}}'''
|''"What if I tried to re-enter the atmosphere in my car? (a 2000 VW Jetta TDI). Would it do more environmental damage than it is already apparently doing?"''
<div align="right">—Casey Berg</div>
|The effect of the car's re-entry itself on the environment is going to be small, verging on negligible. The effect of ceasing its usage to burn hydrocarbon fuel for the remainder of the car's life is likely significantly greater than the re-entry, but in practice also negligible. The main non-negligible environmental effect might be from the launch mechanism that was used to get into orbit in the first place, although even this effect, at current rocket launch rates, is still tiny compared to global air travel or ground-based automobile usage.
|{{blog|142|2016|01|20|1d late}}
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|[[File:Europa Water Siphon.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|143|Europa Water Siphon}}'''
|''"What if you built a siphon from the oceans on Europa to Earth? Would it flow once it's set up? (We have an idea for selling bottled Europa water.)"''
<div align="right">—A group of Google Search SREs</div>
|No, at least not with a siphon. Siphons can only pull water upward to a height where the air pressure feeding water into one side of the siphon equals the weight of the water falling out the other side (creating negative pressure, trying to form a vacuum, which nature abhors). This effect requires a gravitational field and an atmosphere, but cannot be used to pump water above the local atmosphere, and hence out of the local gravity well, under any circumstances - including on Europa.
|{{blog|143|2016|01|26|1d early}}
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|[[File:Saliva Pool.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|144|Saliva Pool}}'''
|''"How long would it take for a single person to fill up an entire swimming pool with their own saliva?"''
<div align="right">—Mary Griffin, 9th grade</div>
|For an Olympic pool, it would take you 8,345 years. In order to finish by the present day, you'd need to start during the invention of agriculture.
|{{blog|144|2016|02|02}}
|{{book|2|53}}
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|-
|[[File:Fire From Moonlight.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|145|Fire From Moonlight}}'''
|''"Can you use a magnifying glass and moonlight to light a fire?"''
<div align="right">—Rogier Spoor</div>
|Unfortunately, it is not possible to summarize Randall's article succinctly, because most of his explanation is completely irrelevant to the question. Randall's answer is effectively "No, and here are a set of correct principles of optics that do not support my claim." The correct answer is "Yes, just like it is possible to start a fire with sunlight reflected off anything else, because the temperature/wavelength/energy of light does not change (substantially) when it is reflected, and the temperature of visible sunlight is around 5000 to 6000 K." (The obvious assumption about the intent behind Rogier's question is that "moonlight" refers to the reflected sunlight, and not the Moon's own surface emission of longwave infrared radiation with a temperature of 300 - 400 K, which we can't see - but this should really be clarified by Rogier.)
|{{blog|145|2016|02|09}}
|{{book|2|51}}
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|-
|[[File:Stop Jupiter.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|146|Stop Jupiter}}'''
|''"I understand that the ''New Horizons'' craft used gravity assist from Jupiter to increase its speed on the way to Pluto. I also understand that by doing this, Jupiter slowed down very slightly. How many flyby runs would it take to stop Jupiter completely?"''
<div align="right">—Dillon</div>
|Even if we were to throw Earth at Jupiter, this could never happen, because Jupiter is much more massive than Earth. Gravity assists are like bouncing a tennis ball off a train, and to stop the train, you'd need an awfully large tennis ball. 
|{{blog|146|2016|02|16}}
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|[[File:Niagara Straw.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|147|Niagara Straw}}'''
|''"What would happen if one tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a straw?"''
<div align="right">—David Gwizdala</div>
|In order to funnel Niagara Falls through a straw, you'd need to accelerate the water to one-quarter light speed, and no machine exists that's capable of doing that. If you somehow could do it, the resulting waterjet would have the power output of a small star, and would boil away the oceans and wipe out all life on Earth.
|{{blog|147|2016|02|26}} 3d late)
|{{book|2|55}}
|{{book|27|2025|06|17|pfbzrrcQZjs|What if you funneled Niagara Falls through a straw?}}
|-
|[[File:Eat the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|148|Eat the Sun}}'''
|''"What percentage of the Sun's heat (per day) does the population of Earth eat in calories per year? What changes could be made to our diets for the amount of calories to equal the energy of the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—James Mitchell</div>
|0.000000000065%. This is such a ridiculously small portion of the Sun's heat exhaust, that we cannot increase our personal calory intake enough to compensate. Instead we need to add more persons. A lot of them in fact. So many that we need to spread them - and the food that they eat - out throughout not just our galaxy but multiple galaxies. Otherwise, the food alone would be massive enough to turn into a black hole.
|{{blog|148|2016|03|12|8d late}}
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|[[File:Pizza Bird.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|149|Pizza Bird}}'''
|''"My boyfriend recently took a flight on a plane with wifi, and while he was up there, wistfully asked if I could send him a pizza. I jokingly sent him a photo of a parrot holding a pizza slice in its beak. Obviously, my boyfriend had to go without pizza until he landed at JFK. But this raised the question: could a bird deliver a standard 20" New York-style cheese pizza in a box? And if so, what kind of bird would it take?"''
<div align="right">—Tina Nguyen</div>
|After careful analysis of wing types, relative weights, and pizza grabbing mechanisms, it is deduced that even the most compatible bird - the eagle - would be hard-pressed to deliver a pizza to an airliner, the relative speed being the largest hurdle. However, delivery to a house - where the relative speed is not so much of a problem - would be possible, though the pizza might be found a slice or two short.
|{{blog|149|2016|03|26|7d late}}
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|[[File:Tatooine Rainbow.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|150|Tatooine Rainbow}}'''
|''"Since rainbows are caused by the refraction of the sunlight by tiny droplets of rainwater, what would rainbow look like on Earth if we had two suns like Tatooine?"''
<div align="right">—Raga</div>
|Each sun is the source of not just one rainbow, but a whole series of rainbows of diminishing intensity; the elusive 5th order rainbow had apparently been pictured at the time of publication. A planet with two suns would consequently have two series of rainbows. A solar system arranged like Tatooine would have to be circumbinary, which limits the separation of the two rainbow series to about 20 degrees. As the main rainbow is 84 degrees across, this leads to the conclusion that the rainbows would always be overlapping.
|{{blog|150|2016|05|23|1m 21d late}}
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|[[File:Sun Bug.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|151|Sun Bug}}'''
|''"How many fireflies would it take to match the brightness of the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—Luke Doty</div>
|30 nonillion fireflies (3 with 31 zeroes after it), which is surprisingly small on the astronomical scale. Counterintuitively, it turns out a single firefly actually glows brighter than an equivalent mass of Sun. However, there are logistical problems with organizing that many fireflies, as you need to arrange them so that they're not blocking each others' lights. You can try to simplify it by just using one very large firefly, but it would be larger than the entire Solar System and immediately collapse into the biggest black hole in the universe.
|{{blog|151|2016|07|21|1m 23d late}}
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|[[File:Flood Death Valley.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|152|Flood Death Valley}}'''
|''"Since Death Valley is below sea level could we dig a hole to the ocean and fill it up with water?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Traeden</div>
|Basically, yes. But there is a lot of digging, and the end result would be quite similar to the Salton Sea which is characterized as "gross" (technical term). Also, heat world records would likely move elsewhere.
|{{blog|152|2016|10|18|2m 21d late}}
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|''The thumbnail for this blog article wasn't archived.''
|'''<span class="plainlinks">[https://web.archive.org/web/20161205191559/http://what-if.xkcd.com/153 Peptides]</span>'''
|''"What is the longest English word you can spell using the one letter abbreviations of the 20 genetic amino acids? What about the three letter abbreviations? What would the resultant peptides look like?"''
<div align="right">—Kira (Lysine-Isoleucine-Arginine-Alanine) Guth</div>
|For any peptides, 19 letters is the highest possible, that being the word "interdepartmentally". For naturally existing peptides in the human body, 8 letters is the highest known. Examples of 8 letters are: GRISETTE, DATELESS, REVERSAL.
|{{blog|153|2016|12|05|notAvailable=Published by accident and deleted: [[what if? (blog)#top|learn more]]}}
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|[[File:Hide the Atmosphere.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|153|Hide the Atmosphere}}'''
|''"Earth’s atmosphere is really thin compared to the radius of the Earth. How big a hole do I need to dig before people suffocate?"''
<div align="right">—Sam Burke</div>
|The hole would need to be very big. Under the right circumstances, a five-mile hole over the entire state of Texas might suffice.
|{{blog|153|2017|01|30|3m 5d late}}
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|[[File:Coast-to-Coast Coasting.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|154|Coast-to-Coast Coasting}}'''
|''"What if the entire continental US was on a decreasing slope from West to East. How steep would the slope have to be to sustain the momentum needed to ride a bicycle the entire distance without pedaling?"''
<div align="right">—Brandon Rooks</div>
|The ramp would need to be five miles high (eight kilometres) to make this possible, and that would be at a speed slower than walking. You would also need oxygen for the first third of the way down.
|{{blog|154|2017|02|08|9d late}}
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|[[File:Toaster vs. Freezer.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|155|Toaster vs. Freezer}}'''
|''"Would a toaster still work in a freezer?"''
<div align="right">—<span class="plainlinks">[https://maximumfun.org/podcasts/my-brother-my-brother-and-me/ '''My Brother, My Brother, and Me'''], [https://maximumfun.org/episodes/my-brother-my-brother-and-me/mbmbam-343-sauce-doctors-blessing/ '''Episode 343'''], discussing a </span>Yahoo Answers question</div>
|As a superior being, the Toaster casts its gaze upon lowly humans and hrumphs at their bickering about such measly temperature variations as 40C. The Toaster regularly reaches 600C and thus, to it - much like to the Fire - everything else is cold, be it room temperature or freezer temperature. Winnipeg locals have it easy and can try this for themselves, as long as they can stave off the wolves.
|{{blog|155|2017|02|28|13d late}}
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|[[File:Electrofishing for Whales.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|156|Electrofishing for Whales}}'''
|''"I used to work on a fisheries crew where we would use an electro-fisher backpack to momentarily stun small fish (30 - 100 mm length) so we could scoop them up with nets to identify and measure them. The larger fish tended to be stunned for slightly longer because of their larger surface area but I don't imagine this relationship would be maintained for very large animals. Could you electrofish for a blue whale? At what voltage would you have have to set the e-fisher?"''
<div align="right">—Madeline Cooper</div>
|Electrofishing has long-term effects on fish and especially dolphins. Larger animals, especially mammals, are likely to die rather than just get stunned. But it is also harder to get any effect in saltwater, which explains why electrofishing is mainly done in rivers and lakes, compared to fresh water. This means it wouldn't work on blue whales.
|{{blog|156|2017|03|09|2d late}}
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|[[File:Earth-Moon Fire Pole.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|157|Earth-Moon Fire Pole}}'''
|''"My son (5y) asked me today: If there were a kind of a fireman's pole from the Moon down to the Earth, how long would it take to slide all the way from the Moon to the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Ramon Schönborn, Germany</div>
|This set-up would face many challenges, but these would be the different domains of the slowest extreme sport: climbing out of the Moon's gravity, accelerating through the middle transfer phase, and then decelerating to your supersonic arrival on Earth.
|{{blog|157|2018|03|21|1y 2m 5d late}}
|{{book|2|58}}
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|-
|[[File:Hot Banana.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|158|Hot Banana}}'''
|''"I heard that bananas are radioactive. If they are radioactive, then they radiate energy. How many bananas would you need to power a house?"''
<div align="right">—Kang Ji</div>
|Bananas are not very radioactive, so it would take an absurdly large number. However, gathering that many bananas in one place would have negative consequences. New York no longer exists.
|{{blog|158|2022|05|04|3y 11m 7d late}}
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|[[File:Hailstones.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|159|Hailstones}}'''
|''"My 4 year old son and I were wondering about soccer ball sized hail today. How much damage would a hail storm with size 5 soccer ball sized hail do?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Grill</div>
|Hailstones get increasingly dangerous as they get larger, as their increased weight cancels their air resistance, allowing them to reach a higher terminal velocity while still carrying all that mass. Regular hailstones are too slow and light to be lethal, but a soccer ball-sized hailstone would hit at around 140 mph, capable of punching straight through the roof of a car or building. Fortunately, no hailstone on record has ever been that big, although storms can on occasion produce hailstones large enough to damage cars, and in rare cases even kill people.
|{{blog|159|2022|07|05|1m 30d late}}
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|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{What If|160|Transatlantic Car Rental}}'''
|''"My daughter recently received her driver's permit in the US, and aspires to visit mainland Europe someday. She has learned enough about the rules of the road to know never to drive into the ocean; however, she jokingly suggested that given a sufficient quantity of rental cars, she could eventually get to Europe by driving east repeatedly. The question is, how many vehicles would it take to build a car-bridge across the Atlantic?"''
<div align="right">—Eric Munson</div>
|You'd need approximately a billion plus a trillion cars to pull this off. Also, in addition to destroying global ocean circulation and creating an illegal naval blockade, this is definitely a violation of her rental car agreement. Also, organizing a fleet of that many rental cars would be difficult.
|{{blog|160|2022|09|06|1m 26d late}}
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|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{What If|161|Star Ownership}}'''
|''"If every country's airspace extended up forever, which country would own the largest percentage of the galaxy at any given time?"''
<div align="right">—Reuven Lazarus</div>
|Given that the South pole (of Earth) points towards the Milky way centre, most of the galaxy will wind up in the air-space (space-space?) of countries of the southern hemisphere. However, due to Earth's rotation around its axis, the nadir of the galaxy core (on Earth) will constantly shift. Given that Australia is the largest of the southern countries, Australia will most often be the Rulers of the Universe. Northern hemisphere jurisdictions, such as New Jersey, will have to contend with some pretty nifty black holes and possibly murderous exoplanets.
|{{blog|161|2022|11|01|1m 19d late}}
|{{book|2|24}}
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|-
|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{What If|162|Comet Ice}}'''
|''"Could I cool down the Earth by capturing a comet and dropping it in the ocean, like an ice cube in a glass of water?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Becker</div>
|Only if you had a magical sky-crane that could cancel the comet's initial kinetic energy during capture, then slowly lower it to the ground without converting all of its gravitational potential energy back into more kinetic energy. Converting that potential energy into electricity to substitute for existing fossil fuel power plants would reduce CO2 emissions, but the effect of that substitution on global temperatures is uncertain and likely negligible. Meanwhile, the amount of ice in a comet that could be used to cool the oceans directly is also less than one would expect from its size, since comets are not solid. Overall, the answer is effectively "no".
|{{blog|162|2022|12|06|29d late}}
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| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Global Windstorm'''
| rowspan="3" |''"What would happen if the Earth and all terrestrial objects suddenly stopped spinning, but the atmosphere retained its velocity?"''
<div align="right">—Andrew Brown</div>
| rowspan="3" |Everyone would die. Then, the wind would destroy everything, with gusts blowing more than 1,000 mph (1,600 km/h) around the equator, killing 85% of the world population. The highest winds would only last a few minutes, but that would be enough to vaporise most human structures. Bunkers would be useless, because, even if your bunker were stuck to the ground hard, others would not be as strong and would hit yours at 1,000 mph. However, most of the researchers at the {{w|Amundsen–Scott South Pole Station}} would be completely fine. The wind blast would then become a heat blast with scorching temperatures and create global thunderstorms in moist areas. After a while, the Earth would gradually start to regain its rotational velocity thanks to the Moon.
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" {{book|1|1}}
|{{book|4|2024|01|09|gp5G1QG6cXc|What if Earth suddenly stopped spinning?}}
|-
|{{book|12|short-video=yes|2025|10|07|19gun1mffWs|What would happen to the population if the Earth suddenly stopped spinning?}}
|-
|{{book|13|short-video=yes|2025|10|14|ERieN5pee7A|What would happen to the Earth if it suddenly stopped spinning?}}
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #1'''
| colspan="2" |''"Would it be possible to get your teeth to such a cold temperature that they would shatter upon drinking a hot cup of coffee?"''
<div align="right">—Shelby Hebert</div>
<div align="right"></div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|4}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"How many houses are burned down in the United States every year? What would be the easiest way to increase that number by a significant amount (say, at least 15%)?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
|
|'''New York–Style Time Machine'''
|''"I assume when you travel back in time you end up at the same spot on the Earth’s surface. At least, that’s how it worked in the Back to the Future movies. If so, what would it be like if you traveled back in time, starting in Times Square, New York, 1000 years? 10,000 years? 100,000 years? 1,000,000 years? 1,000,000,000 years? What about foward in time 1,000,000 years?"''
<div align="right">—Mark Dettling</div>
|
*1,000 years back, you'd see many chestnut trees, wolves, and passenger pigeons.
*10,000 years back, the ground would be mostly bedrock, with large chunks of ice and dropped boulders, called glacial erratics.
*100,000 years back, several islands were pushed upwards by the ice. You would see many now-extinct species, such as Canis dirus, Smilodon fatalis, and Arctodus.
*1,000,000 years back, you'd see relatives of hyenas called Chasmaporthetes.
*1,000,000,000 years back would be no plants or animals, only single-celled organisms in the ocean.
|
|{{book|1|5}}
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|-
|
|'''Periodic Wall of the Elements'''
|''"What would happen if you made a periodic table out of cube-shaped bricks, where each brick was made of the corresponding element?"''
<div align="right">—Andy Connolly</div>
|The top two rows wouldn't be too dangerous to build, but the rest of the periodic table would seriously injure or kill you. In the sixth row, elements with short half-lives would destroy the room you were in as well as causing nuclear fallout to fall nearby. Past the sixth row, the entire city you were in would be destroyed.
|
|{{book|1|8}}
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|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #2'''
| colspan="2" |''"Would dumping anti-matter into the Chernobyl reactor when it was melting down stop the meltdown?"''
<div align="right">—AJ</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|12}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"Is it possible to cry so much you dehydrate yourself?"''<div align="right">—Karl Wildermuth</div>
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''The Last Human Light'''
| rowspan="2" |''"If every human somehow simply disappeared from the face of the Earth, how long would it be before the last artificial light source would go out?"''
<div align="right">—Alan</div>
| rowspan="2" |Radioactive waste that was mixed with glass will glow for centuries.
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|13}}
|{{book|11|2024|05|28|8fADp43wJwU|If all humans died, when would the last light go out?}}
|-
|{{book|5|short-video=yes|2025|07|29|kNry0bf7eC0|Could this be the last surviving human light source?}}
|-
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #3'''
| colspan="2" |''"Given humanity’s current knowledge and capabilities, is it possible to build a new star?"''
<div align="right">—Jeff Gordon</div>
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|16}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"What sort of logistic anomalies would you encounter in trying to raise an army of apes?"''<div align="right">—Kevin</div>
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If people had wheels and could fly, how would we differentiate them from airplanes?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Orbital Submarine'''
| rowspan="2" |''"How long would a nuclear submarine last in orbit?"''
<div align="right">—Jason Lathbury</div>
| rowspan="2" |Submarines are, unsurprisingly, very good at being watertight. This would mean that, mostly, air would stay within the submarine for a time. However, a nuclear submarine is able to stay under for so long because it can convert seawater into oxygen. With no seawater, no oxygen is made, which means that eventually they will run out of air. Getting back into the atmosphere would be tricky. Firing all of a submarine's missiles backwards (i.e. towards the ship) with their detonators removed would produce just enough force for the sub to deorbit and reenter the atmosphere. At that point, the heat and forces of reentry would rip the submarine apart, similar to the {{w|Space Shuttle Challenger disaster}}.
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|17}}
|{{book|7|2024|03|05|EsUBRd1O2dU|Would a Submarine Work as a Spaceship?}}
|-
|{{book|4|short-video=yes|2025|07|22|sFTRRdHqZIQ|Why Space Is Actually Warm!}}
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #4'''
| colspan="2" |''"Would it be possible to stop a volcano eruption by placing a bomb (thermobaric or nuclear) underneath the surface?"''
<div align="right">—Tomasz Gruszka</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|20}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"A friend of mine is convinced that there is sound in space. There isn’t, right?"''<div align="right">—Aaron Smith</div>
|-
|
|'''Human Computer'''
|''"How much computing power could we achieve if the entire world population stopped whatever we are doing right now and started doing calculations? How would it compare to a modern-day computer or smartphone?"''
<div align="right">—Mateusz Knorps</div>
|The combined computing power of all devices surpassed the power of all humans in 1977.
|
|{{book|1|21}}
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|-
|
|'''Common Cold'''
|''"If everyone on the planet stayed away from each other for a couple of weeks, wouldn't the common cold virus be wiped out?"''
<div align="right">—Sarah Ewart</div>
|In theory, this would work. In practice, it wouldn't for a simple reason: Some people have compromised immune systems. These people's bodies can be a safe haven for rhinoviruses, which would mean the common cold, would quickly spread through the population again. The world's food supplies would also be an issue, as people may need to eat foods not designed to be eaten directly (i.e. raw grain). Many systems would shut down as people wouldn't be there to maintain them. Many millions would be stranded in places like Antarctica or the Sahara Desert, which would lead to many deaths. In effect, the scenario would be similar to 'Everybody Jump'.
|
|{{book|1|25}}
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|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #5'''
| colspan="2" |''" If global warming puts us in danger through temperature rise, and super-volcanos put us into danger of global cooling, shouldn’t those two dangers balance each other out?"''
<div align="right">—Florian Seidl-Schulz</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|27}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"How fast would a human have to run in order to be cut in half at the bellybutton by a cheese-cutting wire?"''<div align="right">—Jon Merrill</div>
|-
|
|'''No More DNA'''
|''"This may be a bit gruesome, but... if someone's DNA suddenly vanished, how long would that person last?"''
<div align="right">—Nina Charest</div>
|You could live for several hours or days before succumbing to infection or systemwide organ failure.
|
|{{book|1|29}}
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|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #6'''
| colspan="2" |''"What is the total nutritional value (calories, fat, vitamins, minerals, etc.) of the average human body?"''
<div align="right">—Justin Risner</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|31}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"What temperature would a chainsaw (or other cutting implement) need to be at to instantly cauterize any injuries inflicted with it?"''<div align="right">—Sylvia Gallagher</div>
|-
|
|'''Flyover States'''
|''"Which US state is actually flown over the most?"''
<div align="right">—Jesse Ruderman</div>
|Somewhat surprisingly,Virgina, due to a large amount of flights from Toronto to the Carribbean/South America. Despite it having many major airports, inlcluding most of those serving DC, there are also many major airports which have routes passing over Virginia, such as KATL and KJFK.
|
|{{book|1|33}}
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|-
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #7'''
| colspan="2" |''"In Thor the main character is at one point spinning his hammer so fast that he creates a strong tornado. Would this be possible in real life?"''
<div align="right">—Davor</div>
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|36}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If you saved a whole life’s worth of kissing and used all that suction power on one single kiss, how much suction force would that single kiss have?"''<div align="right">—Jonatan Lindström</div>
|-
| colspan="2" |''"How many nuclear missiles would have to be launched at the United States to turn it into a complete wasteland?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
|
|'''Self-Fertilization'''
|''"I read about some researchers who were trying to produce sperm from bone marrow stem cells. If a woman were to have sperm cells made from her own stem cells and impregnate herself, what would be her relationship to her daughter?"''
<div align="right">—R Scott LaMorte</div>
|As the child is coming from, effectively, two parents with identical DNA, there would be many genetic defects, similar to being inbred. As there is no father to contribute a Y chromosome, the child is guaranteed to be a girl.
|
|{{book|1|37}}
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|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #8'''
| colspan="2" |''"A toxin blocks the ability of the nephron tubule reabsorption but does not affect filtration. What are the possible short-term effects of this toxin?"''
<div align="right">—Mary</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|40}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If a Venus fly trap could eat a person, about how long would it take for the human to be fully de-juiced and absorbed?"''<div align="right">—Jonathan Wang</div>
|-
|
|'''Lost Immortals'''
|''"If two immortal people were placed on opposite sides of an uninhabited Earthlike planet, how long would it take them to find each other? 100,000 years? 1,000,000 years? 100,000,000,000 years?"''
<div align="right">—Ethan Lake</div>
|Depending on strategy and terrain, a few years to a few decades.
|
|{{book|1|42}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #9'''
| colspan="2" |''"Could you survive a tidal wave by submerging yourself in an in-ground pool?"''
<div align="right">—Chris Muska</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|46}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If you are in free fall and your parachute fails, but you have a Slinky with extremely convenient mass, tension, etc., would it be''
possible to save yourself by throwing the Slinky upward while holding on to one end of it?"<div align="right">—Varadarajan Srinivasan</div>
|-
|
|'''Sparta'''
|''"In the movie 300 they shoot arrows up into the sky and they seemingly blot out the sun. Is this possible, and how many arrows would it take?"''
<div align="right">—Anna Newell</div>
|300 arrows per second with densely packed archers could blot out 99% of the Sun's light. If the Sun were low in the horizon, you could more effectively block sunlight with less arrows. However, this would have little to no effect on the opponent, unless it required solar panels.
|
|{{book|1|47}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lego Bridge'''
|''"How many Lego bricks would it take to build a bridge capable of carrying traffic from London to New York? Have that many Lego bricks been manufactured?"''
<div align="right">—Jerry Petersen</div>
|Enough bricks have been manufactured to connect London and New York, but the bridge would not be structurally sound enough to stay together for very long.
|
|{{book|1|51}}
|
|-
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #10'''
| colspan="2" |''"What is the probability that if I am stabbed by a knife in my torso that it won’t hit anything vital and I’ll live?"''
<div align="right">—Thomas</div>
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|54}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If I were on a motorbike and do a jump off a quarter pipe ramp, how fast would I need to be moving to safely deploy and land using the parachute?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
| colspan="2" |''"What if every day, every human had a 1 percent chance of being turned into a turkey, and every turkey had a 1 percent chance of''
being turned into a human?"<div align="right">—Kenneth</div>
|-
|
|'''Weightless Arrow'''
|''"Assuming a zero-gravity environment with an atmosphere identical to Earth's, how long would it take the friction of air to stop an arrow fired from a bow? Would it eventually come to a standstill and hover in midair?"''
<div align="right">—Mark Estano</div>
|It would stop at about 5 to 10 kilometers.
|
|{{book|1|56}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''All the Lightning'''
| rowspan="2" |''"If all the lightning strikes happening in the world on any given day all happened in the same place at once, what would happen to that place?"''
<div align="right">—Trevor Jones</div>
| rowspan="2" |It would create a crater the size of a basketball court.
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|62}}
|{{book|10|2024|05|07|fs28lEq9smw|What if all the lightning on Earth struck the same place at once?}}
|-
|{{book|3|short-video=yes|2025|07|15|_efsqO-4OoQ|Could We Harvest Power From Lightning?}}
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #11'''
| colspan="2" |''"What if everyone in Great Britain went to one of the coasts and started paddling? Could they move the island at all?"''
<div align="right">—Ellen Eubanks</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|64}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"Are fire tornadoes possible?"''<div align="right">—Seth Wishman</div>
|-
|
|'''Neutron Bullet'''
|''"If a bullet with the density of a neutron star were fired from a handgun (ignoring the how) at the Earth's surface, would the Earth be destroyed?"''
<div align="right">—Charlotte Ainsworth</div>
|No. The bullet would fall through the ground and stop in the center of the Earth.
|
|{{book|1|67}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #12'''
| colspan="2" |''"What if I swallow a tick that has Lyme disease? Will my stomach acid kill the tick and the borreliosis, or would I get Lyme disease from the inside out?"''
<div align="right">—Christopher Vogel</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|68}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"Assuming a relatively uniform resonant frequency in a passenger jet, how many cats, meowing at what resonant frequency of said jet, would be required to "bring it down"?"<div align="right">—Brittany</div>
|-
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Richter 15'''
| rowspan="3" |''"What if a Richter magnitude 15 earthquake were to hit America at, let's say, New York City? What about a Richter 20? 25?"''
<div align="right">—Alec Farid</div>
| rowspan="3" |A magnitude 15 earthquake would destroy the Earth, but going higher won't make much difference. You can actually go lower than 0, though.
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" {{book|1|69}}
|{{book|2|2023|12|05|e3uk7jU3RHo|What would a magnitude 15 earthquake be like?}}
|-
|{{book|1|short-video=yes|2025|06|24|wBLVmEZV2Oc|How high could the magnitude of Earthquakes go?}}
|-
|{{book|2|short-video=yes|2025|07|01|FKXVs4UteSc|Is there such a thing as a magnitude 0 earthquake?}}
|-
|
|'''Soupiter'''
|''"What would happen if the Solar System was filled with soup out to Jupiter?"''
<div align="right">—Amelia</div>
|The soup would collapse into a very large black hole and devour the Milky Way, though we would feel mostly fine for the first 10 to 15 minutes.
|
|{{book|2|1}}
|
|-
|
|'''Helicopter Ride'''
|''"What if you were hanging on a helicopter blade by your hands and then someone turned it on?"''
<div align="right">—Corban Blanset</div>
|Without any grip assistance, you'd fall off before it completed its first revolution. With handholds, your body would instead fall off of your arms. Assuming no issues with staying on the wing, there would be more problems to follow. The helicopter, as it spooled up, would begin violently wobbling due to the constantly changing center of gravity before flipping itself, destroying both you and the pilot in a massive fireball.
|
|{{book|2|2}}
|
|-
|
|'''Dangerously Cold'''
|''"Would there be any danger from standing next to a large object that was 0 Kelvin?"''
<div align="right">—Christopher</div>
|There wouldn't be a lot of direct danger from the cube itself, though it would make you feel cold. The bigger danger would be from liquid oxygen condensing and igniting flammable objects. It would take a while to reheat the cube
|
|{{book|2|3}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ironic Vaporization'''
|''"What if we somehow evaporated a solid block of iron on {{asic|ear|th''}}''?"''
<div align="right">—Cooper C.</div>
|The cube would ignite whatever is near it and deposit large quantities of iron flakes downwind. However, it wouldn't make a huge impact on the total amount of atmospheric iron.
|
|{{book|2|4}}
|
|-
|
|'''Cosmic Road Trip'''
|''"If the universe stopped expanding right now, how long would it take for a human to drive a car all the way to the edge of the universe?"''
<div align="right">—Sam H-H</div>
|First off, a human can't do this. Assuming a normal crash rate, an average human driver wouldn't make it past Mars without crashing. Even truck drivers, a field where the crash rate is much lower, wouldn't make it past Jupiter. Using a self-driving car, however, would negate this. It would take an incredibly long time, on the order of approximately 480 quadrillion years if you're driving at a steady pace of 65 miles per hour. Assuming you want to keep your car functional, you would go through 30 quintillion oil changes. Assuming a reasonable 33 MPG highway mileage, the amount of gasoline needed would be similar to the Moon in size. You would also need 10^17 tons of snacks. Entertainment would be another issue. If every person who has ever lived had 150 friends/acquaintances, listening to a real-time podcast of someone's life, all from the perspective of a different friend/acquaintance, you would need to re-watch them all 150 times to make it to the edge of the observable universe. Once you get there, there would be no Earth to come back to.
|
|{{book|2|5}}
|
|-
|
|'''Pigeon Chair'''
|''"How many pigeons would it require in order to lift the average person and launch a chair to the height of Australia's Q1 skyscraper?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Evans</div>
|The optimal method for using the least amount of pigeons would be to use a multi-stage system of sorts. A group of pigeons would lift you about 10 feet, before dropping you as another group swoops in to take their place. However, even with this system, the number of pigeons would be large enough that the Earth would be pulled into the pigeons by gravity instead of the other way around. In other words, if you want to get to the top of Australia's Q1 skyscraper, use an elevator.
|
|{{book|2|6}}
|
|-
|rowspan="11"|
|rowspan="11"|'''Short Answers #1'''
|''"What if your blood became liquid uranium? Would you die from radiation, lack of oxygen, or something else?"''
<div align="right">—Thomas Chattaway</div>
|You would die Having-no-Blood-and-Being-Full-of-Molten-Uranium Syndrome. Also known as Jeff's Disease.
|rowspan="11"|
|rowspan="11"{{book|2|6.5}} (S1)
|rowspan="11"|
|-
|''"Could someone have an anime-style attack where they created a sword out of air? I'm not talking about an air blade, but something like cooling the air enough so that you had solid air to attack people."''
<div align="right">—Emma</div>
|Theoretically yes, but it would be extremely impractical. The temperature to turn oxygen solid is very low, and even with proper insulation it would still cause frostbite. It would also be very weak and very soft, and would sublimate quickly, basically making it useless for all intents and purposes, except for PR.
|-
|''"How much water do you have to drink to become 99 percent water?"''
<div align="right">—LyraxH</div>
|About 500 gallons of water.
|-
|''"What would we see if we attached a lightweight camera to a balloon and let it fly away?"''
<div align="right">—Raymond Peng</div>
|We would see a balloon slowly flying away, fading into the sky. It would be quite pretty. Though next time we should probably attach a transmitter.
|-
|''"How many calories does Mario burn a day?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel and Xavier Hovley</div>
|Mario starved to death in late 1985.
|-
|''"If a snake unhinged its jaw and swallowed a balloon whole, could/would the balloon carry the snake up?"''
<div align="right">—Freezachu</div>
|No.
|-
|''"If you were to jump out of an airplane that was traveling at Mach 880980 that was 100,00 feet above ground in New York City, with skydiving gear, could you survive?"''
<div align="right">—Jack Catten</div>
|rowspan="2"|No, you would die.
|-
|''"If there was no water on Earth, would we all live?"''
<div align="right">—Karen</div>
|-
|''"Is it possible to make a homemade jetpack?"''
<div align="right">—Azhari Zadil</div>
|It's very easy to make one that works once; much harder to make it work more.
|-
|''"I was wondering whether there's a way to use my welder as a defibrillator? (The specific model I own is an Impax IM-ARC140 arc welder.)"''
<div align="right">—Łukasz Grabowski</div>
|No, and you probably shouldn't be allowed to use it as an arc welder either.
|-
|''"What if all atoms on Earth were expanded to the size of a grape? Would we survive?
|I don't know how to answer this with science, but now I want grapes.
|-
|
|'''Geyser'''
|''"If one were to stand on top of the Old Faithful geyser in Yellowstone National Park, at what speed would they be launched upwards and what injuries would they likely sustain?"''
<div align="right">—Catherine McGrath</div>
|If you positioned yourself in just the right way, and used an umbrella to catch as much lift as possible, you could be launched hundreds of feet in the air. Unsurprisingly, you'd receive severe burns and almost certainly die. Surprisingly, however, you would be far from the first person to get severe burns from the geysers.
|
|{{book|2|8}}
|
|-
|
|'''Pew, Pew, Pew'''
|''"If you shot a ridiculously powerful gun/{{asic|la|zer''}}'' would it go off the edge of the world in a straight line or curve around the world?"''
<div align="right">—Maelor</div>
|The beam would go off the edge of the world, except under certain circumstances.
|
|{{book|2|9}}
|
|-
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"|'''Weird & Worrying #1'''
|colspan="2"|''"Can bees or other animals go to hell? Or can they murder other bees without consequences?"''
<div align="right">—Sadie Kim</div>
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"{{book|2|10.5}} (W1)
|rowspan="4"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"How many mirrors reflecting (sun)light would it take to kill, or at least, injure somebody?"''
<div align="right">—Eli Collinge</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If you had to remove the tonsils of a giant, what would be the safest way for you to do it? The surgeon is a normal human."''
<div align="right">—Tirzah</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"What would it take to defeat Air Force One with a drone???"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
|
|'''Banana Church'''
|''"Can all the world's bananas fit inside of all of the world's churches? My friends have had this argument for a little over 10 years now."''
<div align="right">—Jonas</div>
|<big><big>{{notice2|'''Most of these are too short!'''}}</big></big> <big><big>{{notice|'''If you own the second book, please help us by explaining more!'''}}</big></big> Yes. They would likely only fill the churches to 6 inches deep. For the bananas to be unable to fit, each person would need to eat a 1 foot by 1 foot by 2 meter crate's worth of bananas per year.
|
|{{book|2|11}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lose Weight the Slow and Incredibly Difficult Way'''
|''"I want to lose 20 pounds. How much of the Earth's mass would I have to "relocate" to space in order to achieve my goal?"''
<div align="right">—Ryan Murphy</div>
|You would have to remove 85% of the Earth's mass. However, due to the increase in density in the mantle, you would actually gain weight until you've removed about half the Earth's diameter. An image of what it would look like is shown in [[2575: What If? 2]], where a potato peeler is used to remove the crust of the Earth.
|
|{{book|2|13}}
|
|-
|
|'''Jupiter Comes to Town'''
|''"Dear Randall, what would happen if you shrunk Jupiter down to the size of a house and placed in a neighborhood, say, replacing a house?"''
<div align="right">—Zachary</div>
|Assuming density stayed the same when you shrunk Jupiter down, the biggest issue would be that the gravity that keeps its hot interior together would no longer exist, essentially creating a giant fireball that would turn into a mushroom cloud, and eventually spread out into a big cool cloud. This would, effectively, be the reverse of the formation of Jupiter, which started as clouds before being compressed into a small hot ball.
|
|{{book|2|15}}
|
|-
|
|'''Swing Set'''
|''"How tall can a swing set be while still being powered by a human pumping their legs? Is it possible to build a swing set tall enough to launch the rider into space if they jump at the right time? (Assuming the human has enough energy, which my 5-year-old seems to have.)"''
<div align="right">—Joe Coyle</div>
|This is impossible due to the fact that, by pumping the legs, you are essentially pushing against the crossbar of the swing set. A string which is too long will result in a very low amount of force being delivered to the crossbar, lowering the maximum angle you can swing relative to the base of the curve. Calculations show that the optimal crossbar height to gain the most angle relative to the ground is approximately 8 feet.
|
|{{book|2|17}}
|
|-
|
|'''Airliner Catapult'''
|''"My friend is a commercial airline pilot. She says that a significant amount of fuel is spent on takeoff. To save fuel, why couldn't we launch airplanes using catapult systems like on aircraft carriers (calibrated to normal human accelerations)? Could significant amounts of fossil fuels be saved if the catapults could be run by some other clean energy? I'm imagining a rope ... one end tied to the airplane, the other tied to a large boulder at the edge of a cliff. Just push the boulder off the cliff!"''
<div align="right">—Brady Barkey</div>
|It's not a completely ridiculous idea, but the most practical issue is that you'd have to extend the roughly mile-long runway several times more to take full advantage of it. Using the proposed rope-and-cliff system, you'd need to use a thousand ton weight dropped at the height of a super tall skyscraper - of course, if you used something heavier, like the 80,000-ton Washington Monument, you wouldn't need to drop it as far.
|
|{{book|2|18}}
|
|-
|rowspan="14"|
|rowspan="14"|'''Short Answers #2'''
|''"Billy the Clown is running out of cash, so in order to raise money, he devises his newest trick: He will inflate, by mouth, a standard-size party balloon until the material (some form of indestructible rubber) is just one atom thick. How large would the inflated party balloon be?"''
<div align="right">—Alan Fong</div>
|It's a total mystery why Billy is running out of cash.
|rowspan="14"|
|rowspan="14"{{book|2|18.5}} (S2)
|rowspan="14"|
|-
|''"How many leaf blowers would it take to move a standard SUV"''
<div align="right">—Ashley H.</div>
|Somewhere around 1-2 dozen leaf blowers would do the trick. However, it would be very impractical, consume a lot of fuel, and the acceleration would be very slow. Many more leaf blowers would be needed to accelerate the car at a reasonable rate.
|-
|''"If you put a vacuum at extremely high suction and aimed it at a normal BMW sedan, what would happen?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|Nothing. Cars, even small ones like sedans, are far too large and heavy to be affected by a vacuum, even a very large and powerful one.
|-
|''"On a warm summer evening, when you sit outside with a light on, you can be sure that bugs will be attracted to the light. Then why is it that these same bugs don't fly toward the biggest and strongest lamp of them all, namely the Sun, during the day?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|Those who did would die and not be able to produce offspring with the same traits.
|-
|''"If you collected all of the guns in the world and put them on one side of the Earth, then shot the all simultaneously, would it move the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Nathan</div>
|It would not move the Earth, but it would make the other side a nicer place to live.
|-
|''"What would happen if you microwaved a small microwave, while the smaller one was on as well?"''
<div align="right">—Micheal</div>
|Randall gave the meme answer of 'You would no longer be welcome in that IKEA.' In reality, this would almost certainly lead to some dire consequences. Microwaves contain sensitive electronics which would be damaged from excess heat{{cn}}, leaving the microwave functionally useless. Most microwaves are also made of metal, which is known for exploding when exposed to microwaves. This is the same principle that causes forks to explode when placed in one.
|-
|''"If you're jumping on a trampoline, how fast would your body have to be going to:<br>'''A.''' Break all bones on impact<br>'''B.''' Make your body go though the tiny holes of the mesh."''
<div align="right">—Micah Lane</div>
|<ol style="list-style-type: upper-alpha">
<li>Breaking all of the bones in your body would be hard because a lot of them are very small, but it would be fast enough that the trampoline wouldn't make much of a difference.</li>
<li>This can't happen, no matter how fast you're going.</li>
</ol>
|-
|''"I have a Nothing Grenade™. When detonated, it instantly replaces itself with a sphere of perfect vacuum 2 meters across. What would actually happen when it went off?"''
<div align="right">—Dave H.</div>
|As the two-meter vacuum circle appeared, the surrounding air would rapidly fill in the sudden gap. Almost instantaneously, the air would collide and expand out with enough force to possibly kill a human and damage small structures such as bookshelves or walls. In other words, you basically have a regular grenade.
|-
|''"Is space hot or cold?"''
<div align="right">—Isaac</div>
|The answer to this is complicated. Temperature is a measurement of the speed of particles. In space, having no air resistance, particles move incredibly fast. However, because it's a vacuum, there are almost no particles. This is a similar principle to the reason you don't get burned when welding sparks touch your skin. They're so small they do basically nothing to you. As there are almost no particles to impact you, space is the hottest place you can freeze to death.
|-
|''"How many bones can you remove from the human body while allowing the human to continue living? Asking for a friend."''
<div align="right">—Chris Rakeman</div>
|That person is not your friend.
|-
|''"What would happen if you put a human under a g-force of 417 Gs for twenty seconds?"''
<div align="right">—Nythill</div>
|The human is guaranteed to die. Scientific tests have shown that, despite the human body's ability to withstand g-forces into the hundreds for very short periods of time (a car crash may exceed 100 Gs of force), going over 18 Gs for a long period of time is likely to cause the human to black out and quickly die, as the force would prevent blood from being able to flow through a human body properly. This is the same reason why bugs are unable to move after hitting a car on the highway, even if they survive.
|-
|''"Where or how can one commit a murder and not be prosecuted for it?"''
<div align="right">—Kunai Dhawan</div>
|Theoretically, in a section of Yellowstone National Park, where {{w|Zone of Death (Yellowstone)|a jury would have to be formed from a non-existent population}}. In practice, you'd definitely still be prosecuted for committing a murder there.
|-
|''"I read today that insects make at least $57 billion a year for the US economy. If we were to pay every single insect in the United States equally for their economic contribution, how much would each insect get?"''
<div align="right">—Hannah McDonald</div>
|Each insect would get $0.0000029.
Broken down:
*$18 billion to flies, including mosquitoes
*$16 billion to bees, wasps, and ants
*$10 billion to beetles
*$7 billion to thrips
*$1 billion to butterflies and moths
*$1 billion to true bugs
*$4 billion to all other insects
|-
|''"What, in today's world and yesterday's world, does it mean to be human, in all social and biological factors?"''
<div align="right">—Seth Carrol</div>
|You meant to submit this to ''Why If?: Deeply Ungrammatical Answers to Unanswerable Philosophical Questions''.
|-
|
|'''Slow Dinosaur Apocalypse'''
|''"What if an object like the Chicxulub impactor hit earth with a relatively low relative speed of (let's say) 3 mph"''
<div align="right">—Beni von Alemann</div>
|Even though the meteor is slow, it's still very big. The impactor would not create a crater, but would instead create a weird effect which makes the rock flow like water, creating a large "space dirt pancake" about the same diameter as the Chicxulub impact Crater. If {{w|Jurassic Park}} were a real place, it could certainly cause a dinosaur extinction over there, if dropped on it.
|
|{{book|2|19}}
|
|-
|
|'''Elemental Worlds'''
|''"What if Mercury (the planet) were entirely made of mercury (the element)? What if Ceres was made of cerium? Uranus made of uranium? Neptune made of neptunium? What about Pluto made of plutonium?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|Earth would (mostly) be fine. Mercury, uranium, neptunium, plutonium, and cerium would all replace the old planets. Changes are as follows:
*Pluto would be visible to the naked eye
*Ceres would be visible to the naked eye
*Mercury would be visible to the naked eye
*Uranus would look a fairly bight star in the night sky
*''When Neptune hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's an x-ray..''
|
|{{book|2|20}}
| 
|-
|
|'''Tire Rubber'''
|''"Rubber tires on millions of cars and trucks start with about ½" tread and end up bald. Rubber should be everywhere, or at least our highways should be made thicker. Where's the rubber?"''
<div align="right">—Fred</div>
|An average tire sheds about 1.6 liters of rubber over the course of its lifetime (from new to bald). If all tire rubber stuck to the road, it would rise by about a third of a millimeter per year. However, most tire rubber shavings are small enough to drift through the air, or for rain and wind to wash them off the road. Tire rubber is more than enough to cause environmental disruption and it's one of the leading causes of microplastics in our oceans.
|
|{{book|2|25}}
|
|-
|rowspan="10"|
|rowspan="10"|'''Short Answers #3'''
|''"How long do you think two people would have to kiss continuously before they had no lips left?"''
<div align="right">—Asli</div>
|That's not how lips work
|rowspan="10"|
|rowspan="10"{{book|2|26.5}} (S3)
|rowspan="10"|
|-
|''"My college friend and I have had this debate for years now: If you put a million hungry ants in a glass cube with one human, who's more likely to walk out alive?"''
<div align="right">—Eric Bowman</div>
|The human would try to break out of the cube, and probably succeed. Although disgusted, the human would probably be fine. Ants generally do not eat meat, preferring leaves and other foliage. If they escaped, both the human and the ants would go after the person who put them in the glass box. If they did not escape, both the human and the ants would eventually die of suffocation, assuming no air holes were installed.
|-
|''"What if all of humanity set all of their differences aside and work together to level out the Earth into a perfect sphere?"''
<div align="right">—Erik Andersen</div>
|This would quickly create new differences. Even if some magical force were employed to keep humanity centered on making the earth a perfect sphere, it would take many years and be almost impossible to do. Because the Earth is an oblate spheroid, and not a sphere as-is, a lot of land would need to be displaced in order to create a perfect sphere. There would need to be somewhere to put all the water in the oceans, which would need to be removed, and a way to move large amounts of land very long distances. Many cities would be buried, such as Amsterdam (average elevation -6.6').
|-
|''"People talk a lot about a space elevator or a building that would reach into low orbit to save time and resources getting things into space. This is going to sound incredibly stupid, but why has no one proposed building a road into space? Since orbit is generally considered to be 62 miles out, would it be possible to build a 62-mile-high mountain somewhere in the United States? Colorado would be my suggestion, since it has a low population density and is about a mile above sea level already."''
<div align="right">—Brian</div>
|Where are you going to get the materials to build the mountain? Also, Colorado has a lot of people in it.
|-
|''"If I shot a rocket and a bullet through Jupiter's center, would they come out the other side?"''
<div align="right">—James Wilson</div>
|No, as the leading theory is that Jupiter has a solid core. Shooting a bullet through the center would simply cause the bullet to collide with the core of the planet.
|-
|''"What if Mount Everest magically turned into pure lava? What would happen to life; would we all die?"''
<div align="right">—Ian</div>
|We would mostly be okay.
|-
|''"Can you fall down into the Mariana Trench, or would you just swim over it?"''
<div align="right">—Rodolfo Estrella</div>
|You can do both of those things. Assuming what he was trying to say was "Can you swim over the Marianas Trench without falling into it?" the answer is that you would just swim directly over it.
|-
|''"I play Dungeons & Dragons, and my DM doesn't want to let us use the Gust of Wind spell to push wind into the sails of a ship and make it move. Her argument is that you can't use this spell to move a ship because someone on a sailboat can't aim a fan at the sail to propel the boat. We argue that since the spell doesn't push you backward when you use it, then we should be able to use it to make the ship sail. She says she'll allow it only if you say so."''
<div align="right">—Georgia Paterson and Allison Adams</div>
|Since the spell doesn't push you backwards, it should work. If the spell pushed you backwards, you would just have to aim the spell backwards.
|-
|''"What if I struck a match on Titan? Would it light if there's no oxygen?"''
<div align="right">—Ethan Fitzgibbon</div>
| While the match would light initially due to the small amount of oxidizer in a matchhead (typically {{w|potassium chlorate}}, in a safety match), it would quickly dissipate due to the lack of oxygen to titan's atmosphere.
|-
|''"I posted a question on social media asking what would be the smallest change that would create the biggest disaster. One of the responses I got said "if every atom gained 1 proton." So my question for you is, what would happen if every atom gained 1 proton?"''
<div align="right">—Olivia Caputo</div>
|The Earth would become one big, very explosive science experiment. Stable atoms would become unstable, releasing large amounts of energy all at once. Brain matter would cease to be brain matter, and cells would no longer be cells. This would lead to everything dying at once. At least we wouldn't need to experience it.
|-
|
|'''Suction Aquarium'''
|''"When I was a child, I discovered that if I took a container into the swimming pool, I could fill it with water and then bring the container (open-end down) to the surface of the water, and the water level in my container was higher than the water level in the pool. What would happen if you tried to do this with a giant container and the ocean? Could you create a giant aquarium on top of the water that the animals could swim in and out of freely? Maybe an irregularly shaped container that you would walk around on to get closer to the fish?"''
<div align="right">—Caroline Collett</div>
|It would work, but the water level would slowly lower back to sea level over time. However, this process can be accelerated by whale farts. I am not joking.
|
|{{book|2|27}}
|
|-
|
|'''Earth Eye'''
|''"If the Earth were a massive eye, how far would it see?"''
<div align="right">—Alasdir</div>
|Its 'resolution' would be over 500 million times better than a normal human eye. It would be able to see the color of a shirt worn on Mars. It could also see incredibly far objects, such as some of the most distant galaxies that haven't been {{w|redshift}}ed to the point of being infrared. However, a planet-sized eye would be inconvenient, as it would certainly go blind from the Sun and could be damaged from nearby stars as well.
|
|{{book|2|28}}
|
|-
|
|'''Build Rome in a Day'''
|''"How many people would it take to build Rome in a day?"''
<div align="right">—Lauren</div>
| It would take anywhere between 15 minutes and 150 minutes with the whole Earth working.
|
|{{book|2|29}}
|
|-
|
|'''Mariana Trench Tube'''
|''"If I put an indestructible 20-meter-wide glass tube in the ocean that goes all the way down to the deepest part of the ocean, what would it be like to stand at the bottom? Assuming the sun goes directly overhead."''
<div align="right">—Zoki Čulo</div>
|You would likely see many new and undiscovered species. You would also be incredibly cold as the freezing waters of the deep would cool the glass. Getting up would be another problem entirely. If you didn't use an elevator, you could break the glass. That would create a geyser, accelerating you upwards at lethal G-forces. Once you reach the surface, you would fly high into the air before crashing back down into the ocean. Also, you would be heralded as a hero by a lot of marine biologists.
|
|{{book|2|30}}
|
|-
|
|'''MRI Compass'''
|''"Why don't compasses point toward the nearest hospital because of the magnetic fields created by MRI machines?"''
<div align="right">—D. Hughes</div>
|They actually do, but only within ~10 meters.
|
|{{book|2|32}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ancestor Fraction'''
|''"I noticed recently that the number of people within a family tree increases exponentially with each generation: I have 2 parents, 4 grandparents, 8 great-grandparents, and so on. Which got me thinking—are most people descended from the majority of Homo sapiens who have ever lived? If not, what fraction of all the people that have ever lived am I descended from?"''
<div align="right">—Seamus</div>
|Likely between 2-3 twenty-fourths of all humans who have ever lived.
|
|{{book|2|33}}
|
|-
|
|'''Bird Car'''
|''"I'm a lowly college student stuck in a car without AC. As such, the windows are down most of the time when I'm driving, and I started thinking: If a bird happens to match my speed and direction perfectly, and I swerve to catch the bird in my car ... what happens next, other than an angry bird? Does the bird stay right where it was? Fly into the windshield? Drop into the seat? My roommate and I disagree. Any help settling this would really make all our lives easier."''
<div align="right">—Hunter W.</div>
| The bird would fall onto the seat at an angle, and then would fly out of the window (hopefully).
|
|{{book|2|34}}
|
|-
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"|'''Weird & Worrying #2'''
|colspan="2"|''"What would happen if you put the end of a vacuum hose up to your eye and turned on the vacuum?"''
<div align="right">—Kitty Greer</div>
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"{{book|2|35.5}} (W2)
|rowspan="4"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"Is it possible to hold your arm straight out of a car window and punch a mailbox clean off its pole? Could you do it without breaking your hand?"''
<div align="right">—Ty Gwennap</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If people's teeth kept growing, but when they were fully grown they come off and are swallowed, how long would it take before it causes any problems?"''
<div align="right">—Valen M.</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"In a defensive situation, how much epinephrine (in a EpiPen) would it take to subdue a possible attacker?"''
<div align="right">—Henry M.</div>
|-
|
|'''Vacuum Tube Smartphone'''
|''"What if my phone was based on vacuum tubes? How big would it be?"''
<div align="right">—Johnny</div>
| The phone would be about the size of one to five city blocks, and would melt its way through the Earth's crust. Conversely, the UNIVAC constructed with modern electrical components would be smaller than a grain of salt.
|
|{{book|2|36}}
|
|-
|
|'''Eat a Cloud'''
|''"Could a person eat a whole cloud?"''
<div align="right">—Tak</div>
|Not unless you can squeeze the air out first. If you don't you will burp out more cloud than you ate.
|
|{{book|2|38}}
|
|-
|
|'''Tall Sunsets'''
|''"Let's say that two people of different heights (159 cm and 206 cm) stand beside each other while looking at the sunset. How much longer will the taller person be able to see the sun than the shorter one?"''
<div align="right">—Rasmus Bunde Nielson</div>
|Over a second longer.
|
|{{book|2|39}}
|
|-
|
|'''Sisyphean Refrigerators'''
|''"Suppose everyone with a fridge or a freezer opened them at the same time, outdoors. Would that amount of cooling be able to noticeably change the temperature? If not, how many fridges would it take to lower the temperature, say, 5 degrees F? What about even lower?"''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Mittica</div>
|Refrigerators don't work like that, and would likely increase global temperatures by 0.3 degrees celsius. The infinite spite of Hades is surprisingly green.
|
|{{book|2|41}}
|
|-
|
|'''Basketball Earth'''
|''"You know how when you spin a basketball on your finger you hit the side to make it go faster and balance it? If a meteor passes close enough to the earth, can it make the Earth spin faster like your hand does the basketball?"''
<div align="right">—Zayne Freshley</div>
|Yes.
|
|{{book|2|43}}
|
|- 
|
|'''Inhale a Person'''
|''"If house dust comprises up to 80 percent dead skin, how many people worth of skin does a person consume/inhale in a lifetime?"''
<div align="right">—Greg</div>
|You could inhale at most 3 gallons of human skin in a lifetime, and dust is not mostly dead skin. Instead it is a cursed salad of soil, pollen, cotton fibers, crumbs, powdered sugar, glitter, pet hair and dander, plastic, soot, human or animal hair, flour, glass, smoke, mites, and various miscellaneous gunk.
|
|{{book|2|45}}
|
|-
|
|'''Candy Crush Lightning'''
|''"How many Wint-O-Green Life Savers would it take to create a life-size lightning bolt if you crushed them"''
<div align="right">—Violet M.</div>
|Billions
|
|{{book|2|46}}
|
|-
|rowspan="13"|
|rowspan="13"|'''Short Answers #4'''
|''"Can humans safely eat rabid creatures?"''
<div align="right">—Winston</div>
|No.
|rowspan="13"|
|rowspan="13"{{book|2|46.5}} (S4)
|rowspan="13"|
|-
|''"What if the Earth's core suddenly stopped producing heat?"''
<div align="right">—Laura</div>
|We would be mostly fine. While one may picture a scenario similar to ''The Core'', the difference would only be noticed long after you're gone, so you don't really need to worry about it :)
|-
|''"Could humanity, with our current technology, destroy the Moon?"''
<div align="right">—Tyler</div>
|No.
|-
|''"Can global warming cause the Earth's magnetic fields to weaken?"''
<div align="right">—Pavaki</div>
|No.
|-
|''"If you used a laser, would you be able to bake something?"''
<div align="right">—Andrew Liu</div>
|Yes.
|-
|''"What if Earth was sliced in half, like an apple? Where should you be such that you have the best chance of survival?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|You should be holding the object that's slicing the Earth.
|-
|''"What would happen if a person dropped into a pool full of jellyfish?"''
<div align="right">—Lorenzo Belotti</div>
|It depends on the species.
|-
|''"Would it be possible to make a house floor into a massive air hockey table, so you could move heavy furniture across the room?"''
<div align="right">—Jacob Wood</div>
|Yes, and now I know what my next home improvement project will be.
|-
|''"My 7-year-old son asked us over dinner recently at which point potatoes melt (I assume in a vacuum). Please advise."''
<div align="right">—Steffen</div>
|Potatoes don't really melt at any temperature. Also, do you automatically add 'in a vacuum' to anything your son says?
|-
|''"Would a pigeon be able to make it to space if it was not affected by gravity?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Evans</div>
|No. The air in the upper atmosphere is too thin to breathe and too cold
|-
|''"If you were flying blind through the Milky Way what would be the odds of hitting a star or planet?"''
<div align="right">—David</div>
|If you flew edge-on, it would be about 1 in 10 billion.
|-
|''"On various bodies in our Solar System (feel free to group any that are equivalent), roughly how long could you survive on the surface (for gas giants, assume you are on a magical platform at some point in the atmosphere that you could reasonably treat as the surface) with nothing but an infinite air supply and warm winter clothing? That is, no helmet, no pressure suit, just a nose-and-mouth air mask attached to a magic air generator, and clothing that would be suitable for, say, Chicago in winter. (No cute tricks like using the magic air supply to generate heat or whatever.)"''
<div align="right">—Melissa Trible</div>
|
*Earth: 100-ish years
*Venus: Weeks to months
*Everywhere else: Minutes to hours
Venus would be great if it weren't for the sulfuric acid.
|-
|''"What would happen if someone dropped an anvil on you from space?"''
<div align="right">—Sam Stiehl</div>
|About the same as if someone dropped an anvil on you from a building.
|-
|
|'''Toasty Warm'''
|''"What if I want to heat my house using toasters. How many do I need?"''
<div align="right">—Peter Ahlström</div>
|Not many, because the house would quickly catch on fire.
|
|{{book|2|47}}
|
|-
|
|'''Eyeball'''
|''"If I pulled out my eyeball and aimed it so that it was looking into my other eyeball, what would I see (assuming the nerves and veins remain undamaged)"''
<div align="right">—Lenka</div>
|You would see an eye superimposed with your head and the background of the room overlapping.
|
|{{book|2|49}}
|
|-
|
|'''Japan Runs an Errand'''
|''"If ALL of Japan's islands disappear, would it affect Earth's natural phenomena (plates, oceans, hurricanes, climate, and so on)?"''
<div align="right">—Miyu Uchida</div>
|Yes, it most certainly would. The sea of Japan would mix with the Pacific ocean now that the wall that separated them is gone. This would cause unpredictable changes to those currents, affecting many life forms who live in that area. Japan, though being small, weighs quite a lot, and the sudden removal of all that weight would cause massive shifts in ocean levels. Depending on the region, some sea levels would rise/fall by up to a foot, causing mass panic for cities that now have a sudden risk of flooding at a moment's notice. Tsunamis would devastate the Korean Peninsula, Hawaii, and the west coast of America.
|
|{{book|2|50}}
|
|-
|
|'''Read All the Laws'''
|''"If a person wanted to read all of the governing documents that apply to them—from the federal and state constitutions, treaties, agency-issued regulations, federal and state laws, local ordinances, etc.—how many pages would they have to read?"''
<div align="right">—Keith Yearman</div>
|Between 145000 and 12.3 million pages.
|
|{{book|2|52}}
|
|-
|rowspan="3"|
|rowspan="3"|'''Weird & Worrying #3'''
|colspan="2"|''"If I were to jump into a container of liquid nitrogen (or dispose of a body that way), how deep would it have to be for me/them to shatter into frozen pieces at the bottom?"''
<div align="right">—Stella Wohnig</div>
|rowspan="3"|
|rowspan="3"{{book|2|52.5}} (W3)
|rowspan="3"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"What would happen to you if a colony of ants suddenly appeared in you bloodstream all at once?"''
<div align="right">—Matt, on behalf of Declan</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If Harry Potter forgets where the invisible entrance to Platform 9¾ is, how long would he have to crash into walls randomly before discovering it?"''
<div align="right">—Max Planker</div>
|-
|
|'''Snowball'''
|''"What if I tried to roll a snowball from the top of Mount Everest? How big would the snowball be by the time it reached the bottom and how long would it take?"''
<div align="right">—Michaeline Yates</div>
|It would remain about the same size, or it could cause an avalanche. Since the peak of {{w|Mount Everest}} is above the clouds, it is very dry there. For a snowball to grow, wet snow is required. The result would be similar to rolling a hamburger down.
|
|{{book|2|54}}
|
|-
|
|'''Walking Backward in Time'''
|''"What if you decided to walk from Austin, Texas, to New York City, but every step takes you back thirty days?"''
<div align="right">—Jojo Yawson</div>
| The sky would flicker at 50 Hz, and you would arrive around 300,000 years in the past.
|
|{{book|2|56}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ammonia Tube'''
|''"What would happen if you fed ammonia into your stomach through a tube? How fast must the flow rate be to burn your stomach from the heat released? What would the newly created chlorine gas do to your stomach?"''
<div align="right">—Becca</div>
|{{w|Ammonia}} is an {{w|EPA list of extremely hazardous substances|extremely hazardous substance}} and pumping it into your abdomen would result in a painful death due to ammonia toxicity. However, at the very least, some of it would be neutralized with your stomach acid.
|
|{{book|2|57}}
|
|-
|rowspan="7"|
|rowspan="7"|'''Short Answers #5'''
|''"Could life evolve in a constantly running microwave?"''
<div align="right">—Abby Doth</div>
|No.
|rowspan="7"|
|rowspan="7"{{book|2|58.5}} (S5)
|rowspan="7"|
|-
|''"Tonight at my work as an ER nurse in the emergency room, a patient (high on methamphetamine) asked for a cup of water. I returned with a paper cup of water, which the patient promptly threw at my head, missing me but hitting the wall in such an improbable way that the open top of the cup impacted the wall and the cup contained/diminished most of the subsequent splatter. It occurred to me that it might be possible to throw a cup of water hard enough that the container of water would go through the wall. Is this possible?"''
<div align="right">—Pete</div>
|Anything will go through a wall if you throw it hard enough
|-
|''"How slow would you have to chew in order to be able to infinitely consume breadsticks?"''
<div align="right">—Miller Broughton</div>
|You would have to divide each breadstick into 20 bites, chewing each bite 200 times at 1 chew per second.
|-
|''"If you were somehow to remove the white and yolk from inside an eggshell (chicken), and replace them with helium, would the eggshell float in the air?"''
<div align="right">—Elizabeth</div>
|No. An eggshell weighs more than the air it displaces.
|-
|''"What would stars smell like, if it were possible to smell them?"''
<div align="right">—Finn Ellis</div>
|Due to the free hydrogen molecules floating around in there, it would taste incredibly sour. It would also smell like burning rubber, as stars are made up of the same components.
|-
|''"What is the average size for every man-made object on the planet?"''
<div align="right">—Max Carver</div>
|Not too big, not too small. About average.
|-
|''"E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E"''
<div align="right">—Nate Yu</div>
|I feel you, Nate.
|-
|
|'''Dog Overload'''
|''"Assuming 1 out of every 4 people has a 5-year-old dog, and the dog reproduces once every year, with 5 puppies, and the puppies start reproducing at 5 and stop at 15 and die at 20, how long would it take for the Earth to be flooded with puppies, assuming we have all the food, water, and oxygen to sustain them?"''
<div align="right">—Griffin</div>
|This is unrealistic right from the start. This assumes the total dog population is 2 billion, which is well above current estimates. A timeline of major events and milestones is listed below.
*After one year, there are enough dogs for everyone to have at least one.
*After 5 years, every human has an average of 6 or 7 dogs.
*After 11 years, Disney releases ''101 Dalmations per Capita'', after there are 101 dogs per person
*After 15 years, the first dogs die, but the death is fully insignificant.
*After 20 years, dogs would only be about 1 meter apart on average.
*After 25-30 years, the dogs begin to stack.
*At about 40 years, the exponential growth is "stable". The population is multiplying by about 1.6578 each year.
*After 65 years, the population of dogs reaches 1 mol
*After 110 years, the dogs start to undergo relativistic collapse
*After 150 years, the dogs are bigger than the solar system.
*After 197 years, the expansion of the dog sphere surpasses 1''c''
*After 200 years, the dogs reach sirius.
*After 250 years, the dogs envelop the milky way.
*After 330 years, the dogs reach the edge of the observable universe.
*After 417 years, Disney releases ''10<sup>101</sup> Dalmations.''
|
|{{book|2|60}}
|
|-
|
|'''Sunscreen'''
|''"Assuming that SPF works as it purports, what SPF would you need for a 1-hour trip to the surface of the sun?"''
<div align="right">—Brian and Max Parker</div>
|You would need SPF 3,200,000 or a giant blob of sunscreen. Despite its name, sunscreen only protects against some types of radiation from the Sun. No amount is going to be adequate protection if you are right inside the Sun. Also, sunscreen, being a gel, would evaporate when exposed to vacuum. When exposed to the plasma of the coronal surface or the Sun's interior, it would quickly ionize along with anything inside it, becoming plasma like the rest of the Sun.
|
|{{book|2|62}}
|
|-
|
|'''Walking on the Sun'''
|''"After the Sun runs out of fuel, it will become a white dwarf and slowly cool. When will it be cool enough to touch?"''
<div align="right">—Jabari Garland</div>
|The Sun will cool to room temperature in about 20 billion years. However, getting there to actually touch it is the hard part. The immense gravity the changed star still has would create a major problem for any attempt to land on and touch it. Even the most powerful propoulstion would not be able to escape the pull of the Sun's gravity, making it nigh impossible for any currently theorised craft to reach the Sun and survive, let alone let you touch it 'safely'.
|
|{{book|2|63}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lemon Drops and Gumdrops'''
|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
<div align="right">—Shuo Peskoe-Yang</div>
|Replacing all rain in the world would have devastating conseqeunces, especially with such dry candies as lemon drops and gumdrops. The water cycle would be destroyed, arable land would become unusable, and the ocean the would dry up. Humanity would perish in this wasteland-like scenario, probably hopped up on sugar.
|
|{{book|2|64}}
|
|-
|
|'''Bonus Chapter'''
|''"...but what if we tried even ''more'' power?"''
<div align="right">—Randall Munroe</div>
| This is a continuation of {{what if|13|13: Laser Pointer}}. Adding even more power than the end of that article would heat the air so much that the lasers would stop themselves long before reaching the Moon. Even if we managed to get them to hit the Moon, the plasma created would be so hot that it would stop anyway.
|
|{{book|3|70}}
|{{book|19|2024|12|03|jgafb8G7i4o|But what if we tried MORE power?}}
|-
|}<noinclude>

<span id="Editors"><big><big>'''Editors'''</big></big></span> ㅤ ''[[#Article index|(jump back to table)]]''

These templates are used in this table: {{tl|what if}}, {{tl|What If}}, {{tl|book}}, {{tl|blog}}.

<big>'''Add YouTube video'''</big>

<nowiki>{{book|YT-NUMBER|YYYY|MM|DD|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''<nowiki>HTTPS://LINK</nowiki>'''''</font>|VIDEO-TITLE}}
'''EXAMPLE:''' <nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''2022'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''12'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''31'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyNhb5Y'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''What if everyone pointed a laser at the moon?'''''</font>}}

<big>'''Add book chapter'''</big>

For the first [[What If? (book)|What If? book]]:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''1'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}

For the second [[What If? 2]] book:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}

'''EXAMPLE:'''<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''69'''''</font>}}

If an article is available exclusively on the third book ([[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition]]) and not in the first two, use this:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''3'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}
<big>'''Link to a ''what if?'' article'''</big>

On this wiki, an easy way to link to a given ''what if?'' article is by using the {{Template|what if}} template. Copy and paste the text below, correcting the number and title (highlighted in green) to get this result:

'''EXAMPLE:'''
See the <nowiki>''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen"><ins>'''''158'''''</ins></font>|<font color="SeaGreen"><ins>'''''Hot Banana'''''</ins></font>}}<nowiki>''</nowiki>.
'''RESULTS IN:'''
See the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|158|Hot Banana}}''.

NOTE: Since the blog releases are now random, please write a comment on [[{{LATESTCOMIC}}#Discussion|the newest comic's talk page]] to announce that a new ''what if?'' article is out.

<big>'''Add name of reader who asked the question.'''</big>

Here's how to add the name(s) to any question on the table. For example, this...
<nowiki>|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.</nowiki>
... becomes this:
<nowiki>|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
<div align="right"></nowiki>'''—'''<font color="SeaGreen">'''''InsertNamesHere'''''</font><nowiki></div>
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.</nowiki>
Copy the code and replace the green part! (NOTE: It uses the em-dash, not a normal hyphen, so don't replace the dash, or use <code>&mdash;</code>.) Transcribe it exactly as it is written on the website or book, including parenthesis and age, if given by Randall. '''Protip for desktop users:''' the text looks ALL CAPS on the site, but if you copy and paste it, it's in normal Sentence Case. You can simply copy and paste.

''[[#Article index|(jump back to table)]]''
<span id="bottom"></span>
{| style="border: 1px solid {{{border|gray}}}; background-color: {{{color|#fdffe7}}};"
|rowspan="2" style="vertical-align:middle;" | {{{{{|safesubst:}}}#ifeq:{{{2}}}|alt|[[File:What If Barnstar.jpeg|100px]]|[[File:What If Barnstar.jpeg|100px]]}}
|rowspan="2" |
|style="font-size: x-large; padding: 0; vertical-align: middle; height: 1.1em;" | '''The What If? Project Barnstar'''
|-
|style="vertical-align: middle; border-top: 1px solid gray;" | <div style="font-family: Cormorant Garamond"><span style="font-size:5pt;color:black">

* <span style="background-color:#9eff9e;"><span style="color:green; font-size:1.4em;">''' ✓'''</span><big> '''Added: '''</big></span> All ~140 book-exclusive articles, each color-coded by book; reader question and Randall's answer for almost all ~70 [[What If? 2]]-exclusive articles; EVERY YouTube video and its associated article; over new 130 thumbnails uploaded; new article from [[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition|the new book]] and the [[what if? (blog)#top|deleted article]].

* <span style="background-color:#9eff9e;"><span style="color:green; font-size:1.4em;">''' ✓'''</span><big> '''Changes: '''</big></span> Merged columns No., Release date, and Weeks since last release; every column now easily sortable; columns Blog, Book (new), and YouTube (new) now use {{template|blog}} and {{template|book}} and are color-coded; split ''Short-Answer Sections'' into different cells; title bold and question italics and quoted!

----

Great Job to everyone who helped out on this project! If you helped out explain the articles or build the table, feel free to sign here: '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:5pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:2pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 17:44, 14 February 2025 (UTC), [[User:WriterArtistCoder|WriterArtistCoder]]<sup>[[User talk:WriterArtistCoder|talk to me]]</sup> 21:56, 11 March 2025 (UTC), [[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 15:53, 12 March 2025 (UTC) --'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al |<span style="font-family:Atomic Age;font-size:5pt;color:red;">DollarStoreBa'al</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:DollarStoreBa'al |'''''Converse''''']]</sup>[[DSBContribs |'''''My life choices''''']] 23:30, 14 June 2025 (UTC

[[Category:What If?| 9]]{{xkcdmeta}}

what if? articles

2025-11-23T07:34:39Z

Aaron of Mpls: updated news on BIOT -- treaty signed in May 2025, but not yet ratified as of Nov 2025

<noinclude>{{DISPLAYTITLE:''What If?'' chapters}}:''For other instances of this title, see [[What If (disambiguation)]].''<noinclude>
{{incomplete|Most of the [[#1-13|books-exclusive questions]] are still too short! They should be a summary of the answer, not just 1-2 sentences. [[#1-13|''(jump to the book-exclusive chapters)'']] ''(For help with the templates, see the '''''[[What If? chapters#Editors|Editors section]]'''''!''}}

</noinclude>This is an index of all articles featured in Randall Munroe's ''what if?'' [[what if? (blog)|blog]] and [[:Category:Books|book series]]. For each article, the original question and a summary of Randall's answer are provided. If an article is available on the blog, you can click the title to read it in full. You can use the columns to sort the table alphabetically, by release date on the blog or YouTube, or by chapter in the books. The thumbnail is only available for articles published on the blog. If the title of a blog article differs from the one in the book, the latter will be provided in the Book column. A much simpler list that doesn't include book-exclusive articles can be found in the [https://what-if.xkcd.com/archive archive section] of the blog. Similar articles by Randall have also been [[New York Times: Good Question|published in the New York Times]].<noinclude>
[[Category:Incomplete explanations| ]]</noinclude>
<div style="clear: both"></div>
{| class="sortable wikitable"
! rowspan="2" scope="col" class="unsortable" | Thumbnail
! rowspan="2" scope="col" data-sort-type=text| Title
! rowspan="2" scope="col" data-sort-type=text| Reader's question
! rowspan="2" scope="col" class="unsortable" | Randall's answer
! colspan="3"| Article available in... <noinclude></noinclude> ''(click to sort)'' <noinclude></noinclude>
|-
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | Blog
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | Books
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | YouTube
|-
| rowspan="2" |[[File:Relativistic Baseball.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|1|Relativistic Baseball}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"What would happen if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light?"''
<div align="right">—Ellen McManis</div>
| rowspan="2" |The ball would create plasma and reach home plate in about 70 nanoseconds. The result would be some kind of nuclear explosion, destroying everything about a mile from the field. A ruling of "{{w|hit by pitch}}" could be interpreted in this situation.
| rowspan="2"{{blog|1|2012|07|10}}
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|2}}
|{{book|5|2024|02|06|3EI08o-IGYk|What if you threw a baseball at nearly light speed?}}
|-
|{{book|14|short-video=yes|2025|10|28|Uj10jGq2O8o|What if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light?}}
|-
|[[File:SAT Guessing.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|2|SAT Guessing}}'''
|''"What if everyone who took the SAT guessed on every multiple-choice question? How many perfect scores would there be?"''
<div align="right">—Rob Balder</div>
|No one would get a perfect score. The odds of guessing correctly on every question would be less than the odds of every living ex-president at that time and the main cast of [[:Category:Firefly|Firefly]] getting struck by lightning on the same day. To put this as a number, the odds of this happening would be less than 1/10^100 (one {{w|googol}}).
|{{blog|2|2012|07|10|7d early}}
|{{book|1|66}}
|
|-
|[[File:Yoda.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|3|Yoda}}'''
|''"How much Force power can Yoda output?"''
<div align="right">—Ryan Finnie</div>
|Yoda can output about 19.2 kilowatts, or 25 horsepower. "Yoda power" would cost about $2/hour.
|{{blog|3|2012|07|17}}
|{{book|1|32}}
|
|-
|[[File:A Moles of Moles.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|4|A Mole of Moles}}'''
|''"What would happen if you were to gather a mole (unit of measurement) of moles (the small furry critter) in one place?"''
<div align="right">—Sean Rice</div>
|In physics, a {{w|mole (unit)|mole}} is a number that equals approximately 6.022 × 10<sup>23</sup>. If this amount of moles (the furry animals) were put in space, they would form a sphere a little bit larger than our Moon with about the same gravity as Pluto. The surface would freeze and trap the interior warmth, causing geysers of hot meat and methane.
|{{blog|4|2012|07|24}}
|{{book|1|10}}
|{{book|29|2025|8|19|lLlwvmu1ZeA|What if you had a mole of moles?}}
|-
|[[File:Robot Apocalypse.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|5|Robot Apocalypse}}'''
|''"What if there was a robot apocalypse? How long would humanity last?"''
<div align="right">—Rob Lombino</div>
|Humanity would most likely survive. Most robots can easily be subdued because technology hasn’t been developed enough to allow them to walk, evade being destroyed, and kill us efficiently. They could decide to use our nuclear weapons, but that would hurt them more than us.
|{{blog|5|2012|07|31}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Glass Half Empty.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|6|Glass Half Empty}}'''
|''"What if a glass of water was, all of a sudden, literally half empty?"''
<div align="right">—Vittorio Iacovella</div>
|If the vacuum were on the bottom half, it would explode, but if it were on the top half, the air rushes in and it becomes normal water.
|{{blog|6|2012|08|07}}
|{{book|1|26}}
|{{book|16|2024|09|24|0EytSWiKrFg|What if a glass of water were LITERALLY half empty?}}
|-
|[[File:Everybody Out.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|7|Everybody Out}}'''
|''"Is there enough energy to move the entire current human population off-planet?"''
<div align="right">—Adam</div>
|No, at least not without starving to death quickly and leaving our pets, belongings, and everything else behind. The best way to do it is either with a space tether or to ride the shockwave of a nuclear bomb, but the former lacks a good material and the latter is literally ''riding the shockwave of a nuclear bomb''. In any case, highly impractical.
|{{blog|7|2012|08|14}}
|{{book|1|35}}
|
|-
|[[File:Everybody Jump.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|8|Everybody Jump}}'''
|''"What would happen if everyone on earth stood as close to each other as they could and jumped, everyone landing on the ground at the same instant?"''
<div align="right">—Thomas Bennett (and many others)</div>
|Earth would be unaffected, but almost all humans would probably be wiped out, due to the congestion of everybody being in one place at once. Utilities and everything requiring human oversight would eventually fail because no one was maintaining them. If airports became functional, only the largest would be able to efficiently get everybody home. Only the people at the edges of the giant crowd would be able to escape, with the rest almost certainly dying due to suffocation. The Earth would then be a lawless wasteland, with a severely diminished population trying to restore humanity to its former glory.
|{{blog|8|2012|08|21}}
|{{book|1|9}}
|{{book|9|2024|04|16|p2M8Y0z9Rl0|What if everyone jumped at once?}}
|-
|[[File:Soul Mates.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|9|Soul Mates}}'''
|''"What if everyone actually had only one soul mate, a random person somewhere in the world?"''
<div align="right">—Benjamin Staffin</div>
|Assuming the soul mate can exist at any time, there is a high chance that you would not find your soul mate. Around 100 billion humans have ever existed, but only 8 billion of those people are alive today. This means that there is an over 90% chance that your soul mate is long dead. This is made worse by the fact that people will also be born in the future, and your soul mate could live very far in the future.

Even if it is assumed that someone's soul mate must be alive while they are alive, there's still a very low chance of finding your soul mate due to the sheer amount of people in the world. Even if you find them, they may speak another language and be unable to understand you.

Jobs would also be affected, with very social jobs such as waiters, cashiers, or traffic guards being highly sought-after.
|{{blog|9|2012|08|28}}
|{{book|1|6}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cassini.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|10|Cassini}}'''
|''"What would the world be like if the land masses were spread out the same way as now - only rotated by an angle of 90 degrees?"''
<div align="right">—Socke</div>
|Hard to tell with any sort of certainty, but North America remains the same (just flipped, so Canada is tropical), South America becomes more like Europe before this question, Asia is flipped just like North America was, Europe becomes more like southeast Asia, Africa's climate is essentially rotated 90 degrees and East Africa gets a lot more tornadoes, Australia is colder and wetter, and Antarctica becomes a tropical rainforest. Of course, the biosphere collapses due to the shuffling and the ice caps (prematurely) melt, while also making certain wildlife appear elsewhere than normal.
|{{blog|10|2012|09|04}}
|
|{{book|23|2025|04|01|WH4g1ptJ-70|What if the Earth rotated 90 degrees?}}
|-
|[[File:Droppings.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|11|Droppings}}'''
|''"If you went outside and lay down on your back with your mouth open, how long would you have to wait until a bird pooped in it?"''
<div align="right">—Adrienne Olson</div>
|Assuming an even distribution of all birds across the Earth's surface and a frequency of 1 poop per hour, it would take you about 195 years on average. However, those assumptions are unrealistic: It would probably be closer to a few hours if you were laying under an area where large amounts of birds are common, such as a power line or tree.
|{{blog|11|2012|09|11}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Raindrop.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|12|Raindrop}}'''
|''"What if a rainstorm dropped all of its water in a single giant drop?"''
<div align="right">—Michael McNeill</div>
|The surrounding area would be obliterated via the violent rush of crushing water, causing flash flooding in the surrounding area. There would be mass confusion for many following years.
|{{blog|12|2012|09|18}}
|{{book|1|65}}
|
|-
|[[File:Laser Pointer.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|13|Laser Pointer}}'''
|''"If every person on Earth aimed a laser pointer at the Moon at the same time, would it change color?"''
<div align="right">—Peter Lipowicz</div>
|It would take lots of power, but yes, assuming you want to drain the Earth's oil and cover Asia in megawatt lasers. Going even further in power level fries the Earth and launches the Moon into the solar system.
|{{blog|13|2012|09|25}}
|{{book|1|7}}
|{{book|18|2024|11|05|JqFSGkFPipM|What if everyone pointed a laser at the moon?}}
|-
| rowspan="7" |[[File:Short Answer Section.png|100px]]
| rowspan="7" |'''{{What If|14|Short Answer Section}}'''
|''"How long would the Sun last if a giant water hose were focused upon it?"''
<div align="right">—Austin Dickey</div>
|The Sun would actually burn brighter due to water being mostly hydrogen (main fusion fuel of stars) and eventually become a black hole with all the mass of the water.
| rowspan="7"{{blog|14|2012|10|02}}
| rowspan="7" |
| rowspan="7" |
|-
|''"What if you shined a flashlight (or a laser) into a sphere made of one-way mirror glass?"''
<div align="right">—Chase Montgomery</div>
|One-way glass does not exist. The light shines through just like normal glass.
|-
|''"If Michael Phelps could hold his breath indefinitely, how long would it take for him to reach the lowest point in the ocean and back if he swam straight down and then straight back up?"''
<div align="right">—Jimmy Morey</div>
|Michael Phelps would die somewhere between 100 and 400 meters of depth. If he were immune to pressure, then it would take 3 hours to swim to the bottom of the Marianas Trench and back.
|-
|''"In the first Superman movie, Superman flies around Earth so fast that it begins turning in the opposite direction. This somehow turns back time [... ] How much energy would someone flying around the Earth have to exert in order to reverse the Earth's rotation?"''
<div align="right">—Aidan Blake</div>
|Superman wasn't pushing the Earth. He was flying {{w|Superluminal motion|superluminally}} and was thus travelling back through time.
|-
|''"How fast would you have to go in your car to run a red light claiming that it appeared green to you due to the Doppler Effect?"''
<div align="right">—Yitzi Turniansky</div>
|The {{w|Doppler Effect}} is when waves (such as light or sound) change based on movement or position. You would need to go about one sixth of the {{w|speed of light}}.
|-
|''"What would happen if you opened a portal between Boston (sea level) and Mexico City (elev. 8000+ feet)?"''
<div align="right">—Jake G.</div>
|There would be winds of 440 mph (708 km/h) sucking Boston into Mexico City.
|-
|''"When my wife and I started dating she invited me over for dinner at one time. Her kitchen had something called Bauhaus chairs, which are full of holes, approx 5-6 millimeters in diameter in both back and seat. During this lovely dinner I was forced to liberate a small portion of wind and was relieved that I managed to do so very discretely. Only to find that the chair I sat on converted the successful silence into a perfect, and loud, flute note. We were both (luckily) amazed and surprised and I have often wondered what the odds are for something like that happening. We kept the chairs for five years but despite laborious attempts it couldn't be reproduced."''
<div align="right">—R. D.</div>
|This... isn’t actually a question, but thank you for sharing!
|-
|[[File:Mariana Trench Explosion.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|15|Mariana Trench Explosion}}'''
|''"What if you exploded a nuclear bomb (say, the Tsar Bomba) at the bottom of the Marianas Trench?"''
<div align="right">—Evin Sellin</div>
|Surprisingly, not much! Large waves already disappear quickly when created by surface explosions, and moving the detonation underwater only lessens the effect. If you exploded a Tsar Bomba at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, the resulting eruption would create massive bubbles before turning into warm water and debris.
|{{blog|15|2012|10|09}}
|
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|-
| rowspan="6" |[[File:Today's topic- Lightning.png|100px]]
| rowspan="6" |'''{{What If|16|Today's topic: Lightning}}'''
|''"How dangerous is it to be in a pool during a thunderstorm?"''
<div align="right">—Jay Gengelbach</div>
|Pretty dangerous, as if the pool was hit, 20,000 amps of electricity from the lightning bolt would spread across the surface and shock you. Randall recommends that one should stay at least 12 meters away from a pool during a thunderstorm.
| rowspan="6"{{blog|16|2012|10|16}}
| rowspan="6"{{book|1|19|Lightning}}
| rowspan="6" |
|-
|''"What would happen if you were taking a shower or standing under a waterfall when you were struck by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—Same3Chords</div>
|The droplets of water wouldn’t be dangerous, but a tub of water or any puddle you stand in ''will'' be dangerous.
|-
|''"What would happen if you were in a boat, plane or a submarine that got hit by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—Soobnauce</div>
|A boat would be as safe as a car if it had a cabin and lightning protection, while a submarine would be completely safe. The plane was not mentioned.
|-
|''"What if you were changing the light at the top of a radio tower and lightning struck? Or what if you were doing a backflip? Or standing in a graphite field? Or looking straight up at the bolt?"''
<div align="right">—Danny Wedul</div>
|You would get shocked normally if you were on a radio tower, doing a backflip, or looking straight up (which would also damage your eyes). These all don’t matter much. Randall doesn’t know what a graphite field is and chose not to answer that part of the question.
|-
|''"What would happen if lightning struck a bullet in midair?"''
<div align="right">—Timothy Campbell</div>
|The bullet might be heated a little bit, but it’s travelling too fast to have any impact.
|-
|''"What if you were flashing your BIOS during a thunderstorm and you got hit by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—NJSG</div>
|It would bring you to “Microsoft BOB®”, “Gateway 2000 Edition”.
|-
|[[File:Green Cows.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|17|Green Cows}}'''
|''"If cows could photosynthesize, how much less food would they need?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|They would need 4% less food. There simply isn't enough area on the cow for photosynthesis to provide all its energy requirements.
|{{blog|17|2012|10|23}}
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|-
|[[File:BB Gun.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|18|BB Gun}}'''
|''"In Armageddon, a NASA guy comments that a plan to shoot a laser at the asteroid is like “shooting a b.b. gun at a freight train.” What would it take to stop an out-of-control freight train using only b.b. guns?"''
<div align="right">—Charles James O'Keefe</div>
|This would normally be impossible. However, with enough people shooting the train, it can happen. This would require about 100,000 people shooting, distributed over 2 kilometers of track, each firing a few dozen rounds once the train comes close enough. This would, eventually, be enough to bring the train to a stop.
|{{blog|18|2012|10|30}}
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|-
|[[File:Tie Vote.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|19|Tie Vote}}'''
|''"What if there's LITERALLY a tie?"''
<div align="right">—Nate Silver (<span class="plainlinks">[https://twitter.com/fivethirtyeight/status/154434288287363072 '''Twitter, January 4th, 2012''']</span>)</div>
|In the case of each candidate getting the exact same amount of votes on Election Day, most states would randomly pick one, whether it be through tossing a coin, drawing a name or straws. The chances of this happening in 9 battleground states would be about equal to the elector drawing a name from a hat, then being smashed by a bale of cocaine by drug smugglers and obliterated by a meteorite impact while being swept away in a tornado.
|{{blog|19|2012|11|06}}
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|-
|[[File:Diamond.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|20|Diamond}}'''
|''"If a meteor made out of diamond and 100 feet in diameter was traveling at the speed of light and hit the earth, what would happen to it?"''
<div align="right">—Aidan Smith, Age 8, via his father Jeff</div>
|Nothing made of matter can travel at the speed of light, but at the closest speed observed (99.99999999999999999999951% of the speed of light, the speed of the {{w|Oh-My-God particle}}), the Earth would explode with enough force to obliterate the entire Solar System.
|{{blog|20|2012|11|13}}
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|[[File:Machine Gun Jetpack.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|21|Machine Gun Jetpack}}'''
|''"Is it possible to build a jetpack using downward firing machine guns?"''
<div align="right">—Rob B</div>
|You'd need a Russian 30 mm rotary cannon to do it optimally, and the excessive force would definitely hurt you. If you braced the rider, created an aerodynamic craft strong enough to survive the acceleration, and cooled the craft, you'd be able to jump mountains.
|{{blog|21|2012|11|20}}
|{{book|1|14|Machine-Gun Jetpack}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cost of Pennies.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|22|Cost of Pennies}}'''
|''"If you carry a penny in your coin tray, how long would it take for that penny to cost you more than a cent in extra gas?"''
<div align="right">—Leto Atreides</div>
|140,000 miles if gas was the only cost involved. The exercise of picking up the penny can prolong your lifespan, but you've wasted valuable seconds reading this article.
|{{blog|22|2012|11|27}}
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|-
| rowspan="7" |[[File:Short Answer Section II.png|100px]]
| rowspan="7" |'''{{What If|23|Short Answer Section II}}'''
|''"If my printer could literally print out money, would it have that big an effect on the world?"''
<div align="right">—Derek O’Brien</div>
| Using the printer, you could make about 200 million dollars per year, depending on the type of printer. This would actually be the perfect sweet spot for you, as it would be enough to make you very, very rich, but not enough to have any effect on the world. The United States [https://www.bep.gov/currency/production-figures/annual-production-reports prints approximately $160 billion per year], so $200 million a year would be nothing more than a drop in the bucket.
| rowspan="7"{{blog|23|2012|12|04}}
| rowspan="7"{{book|1|18|Short-Answer Section}}
| rowspan="7" |
|-
|''"What would happen if you exploded a nuclear bomb in the eye of a hurricane? Would the storm cell be immediately vaporized?"''
<div align="right">—Rupert Bainbridge (and hundreds of others)</div>
|No. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has [https://www.aoml.noaa.gov/hrd-faq/#hurricane-mitigation:~:text=Stop%20a%20Hurricane%3F-,Nuclear%20Weapons,-Adding%20Hygroscopic%20Particles published a response] explaining why it wouldn't work.
|-
|''"If everyone put little turbine generators on the downspouts of their houses and businesses, how much power would we generate? Would we ever generate enough power to offset the cost of the generators?"''
<div align="right">—Damien</div>
|If it's very rainy, it would generate 800 watts of power, which isn't enough to offset the cost of the generators.
|-
|''"Using only pronounceable letter combinations, how long would names have to be to give each star in the universe a unique one word name?"''
<div align="right">—Seamus Johnson</div>
|About 24 characters.
|-
|''"I bike to class sometimes. It's annoying biking in the wintertime, because it's so cold. How fast would I have to bike for my skin to warm up the way a spacecraft heats up during reentry?"''
<div align="right">—David Nai</div>
|You'd have to bike at about 200 m/s, which would make your commute very fast indeed. However, the amount of energy required to bike at that speed would cause you to die from overexertion. This might work if you didn't exert any energy, however.
|-
|''"How much physical space does the internet take up?"''
<div align="right">—Max L</div>
|Using humanity's total produced storage space from the last few years as an upper bound, and assuming 3.5" drives, the Internet is less than the size of an oil tank.
|-
|''"What if you strapped C4 to a boomerang? Could this be an effective weapon, or would it be as stupid as it sounds?"''
<div align="right">—Chad Macziewski</div>
|Strapping C4 to a boomerang does not sound like an effective weapon. The weapon as depicted in the image would have terrible aerodynamics, and would not fly an easily predictable trajectory. C4 is, by itself, an inert substance which would need some form of detonator to actually explode, in which case it would depend upon how you set it up (e.g. timer or inertial trigger) and at what point in its flight this would activate. ''If'' this happened as it returns (or flies past, if thrown reasonably correctly but being unable or unwilling to catch it), it might kill or injure the thrower and/or those nearby. There were many unstated details as to how the proposal would be implemented, as Randall lampshades in his open answer.
|-
|[[File:Model Rockets.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|24|Model Rockets}}'''
|''"How many model rocket engines would it take to launch a real rocket into space?"''
<div align="right">—Greg Schock, PA</div>
|It would take about 65,000, but they’d have to be layered in a cone shape with about 30 stages so the vehicle has thrust for long enough. It could carry 60 kg, much of that spent on all the parts of the rocket that aren't the engine. And this contraption would not attain orbital velocity, but rapidly fall back to Earth after briefly leaving the atmosphere. Accelerating to orbital velocity is a whole other class of problem and cannot be achieved using model rocket engines in any practical way.
|{{blog|24|2012|12|11}}
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|[[File:Three Wise Men.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|25|Three Wise Men}}'''
|''"The story of the three wise men got me wondering: What if you did walk towards a star at a fixed speed? What path would you trace on the Earth? Does it converge to a fixed cycle?"''
<div align="right">—N. Murdoch</div>
|No, but the paths they would take would make some really cool patterns due to various factors, such as the Earth's rotation and its position changing in its orbit around the Sun.
|{{blog|25|2012|12|18}}
|
|{{book|22|2025|03|04|YL2VNtus4xk|What if the wise men kept walking after Jesus’s birth?}}
|-
|[[File:Leap Seconds.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|26|Leap Seconds}}'''
|''"Every now and then we have to insert a leap second because the Earth’s rotation is slowing down. Could we speed up Earth’s rotation, so that we do not need Leap Seconds?"''
<div align="right">—Anton (Berlin, Germany)</div>
|The only real way to do this is by hitting Earth with asteroids; all other ideas would be too difficult or wouldn’t work. With 50,000 planets B-612 hitting the Earth each second and a few assumptions, we could stop worrying about leap seconds (mostly because it would deliver the energy of about one dinosaur-killer asteroid every couple days, wiping out life on Earth quite quickly)
|{{blog|26|2012|12|31|6d late}}
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|[[File:Death Rates.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|27|Death Rates}}'''
|''"If one randomly chosen extra person were to die each second somewhere on Earth, what impact would it have on the world population?"''
<div align="right">—Guy Petzall</div>
|The world population would continue to grow, though 40% more slowly. Pilots, drivers, and surgeons would die en route and mid-operation, but these would be comparable to usual accident rates and handled fairly easily.
|{{blog|27|2013|01|08|1d late}}
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|[[File:Steak Drop.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|28|Steak Drop}}'''
|''"From what height would you need to drop a steak for it to be cooked when it hit the ground?"''
<div align="right">—Alex Lahey</div>
|From the very edge of the atmosphere, but even in that case it might not be fully cooked, as the steak will have to pass through parts of the atmosphere that are freezing cold and the parts of the fall where heat is being applied are more likely to char and disintegrate the steak than cook it.
|{{blog|28|2013|01|15}}
|{{book|1|23}}
|
|-
|[[File:Spent Fuel Pool.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|29|Spent Fuel Pool}}'''
|''"What if I took a swim in a typical spent nuclear fuel pool? Would I need to dive to actually experience a fatal amount of radiation? How long could I stay safely at the surface?"''
<div align="right">—Jonathan Bastien-Filiatrault</div>
|As long as you don't touch strange things and you don't swim too close to the fuel rods, it would be just like a regular pool. Except for the fact you would never make it to the pool, as the guards would notice and shoot you to death.
|{{blog|29|2013|01|22}}
|{{book|1|3}}
|{{book|8|2024|04|02|EFRUL7vKdU8|What if you swam in a nuclear storage pool?}}
|-
|[[File:Interplanetary Cessna.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|30|Interplanetary Cessna}}'''
|''"What would happen if you tried to fly a normal Earth airplane above different Solar System bodies?"''
<div align="right">—Glen Chiacchieri</div>
|It would be difficult to fly on Mars, so you would crash. The gas giants also have this problem, and you would freeze and tumble. Titan and Venus are the best bets, but Titan is cold and Venus is full of sulfuric acid.
|{{blog|30|2013|01|29}}
|{{book|1|30}}
|
|-
|[[File:FedEx Bandwidth.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|31|FedEx Bandwidth}}'''
|''"When - if ever - will the bandwidth of the Internet surpass that of FedEx?"''
<div align="right">—Johan Öbrink</div>
|Probably never, unless the Internet's transfer rate grows faster than storage rates, the Internet won't surpass an army of FedEx trucks. However, the ping times would be ''absurd''.
|{{blog|31|2013|02|05}}
|{{book|1|44}}
|
|-
| rowspan="3" |[[File:Hubble.png|100px]]
| rowspan="3" |'''{{What If|32|Hubble}}'''
| rowspan="3" |''"If the Hubble telescope were aimed at the Earth, how detailed would the images be?"''
<div align="right">—Kyle Rankin</div>
| rowspan="3" |Very blurry because Hubble isn't able to rotate fast enough to track it on the surface of the Earth. Hubble is the wrong tool for the job, you're thinking of a spy satellite.
| rowspan="3" {{blog|32|2013|02|12}}
| rowspan="3" |
|{{book|1|2023|11|29|2LSyizrk8-0|What if we aimed the Hubble Telescope at Earth?}}
|-
|{{book|10|short-video=yes|2025|09|16|TgA0lXEW7dw|Could the Hubble take a photo of you?}}
|-
|{{book|11|short-video=yes|2025|09|23|i6e4NnFnQi0|How detailed would the Hubbles images be if it looked at Earth?}}
|-
|[[File:Ships.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|33|Ships}}'''
|''"How much would the sea level fall if every ship were removed all at once from the Earth's waters?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Toje</div>
|The sea level would fall by about 6 microns, slightly more than the diameter of a strand of spider silk. However, since the oceans are currently rising at about 3.3 millimeters per year due to global warming, the water would be back up to its original average level in 16 hours.
|{{blog|33|2013|02|19}}
|
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|[[File:what if? Twitter.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|34|Twitter}}'''
|''"How many unique English tweets are possible? How long would it take for the population of the world to read them all out loud?"''
<div align="right">—Eric H., Hopatcong, NJ</div>
|Since there are 2 * 10<sup>46</sup> meaningful English tweets, reading them all would take 10,000 "eternal years", with an eternal day being the length of time needed to wear down a mountain if a bird scraped 1 grain every thousand years.
|{{blog|34|2013|02|26}}
|{{book|1|50}}
|
|-
|[[File:Hair Dryer.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|35|Hair Dryer}}'''
|''"What would happen if a hair dryer with continuous power was turned on and put in an airtight 1x1x1 meter box?"''
<div align="right">—Nathan Terrell</div>
|The box would heat until the ground starts melting, and going further, it would eventually create updrafts and bounce around everywhere. Turning it off and on again would launch it out of the sky in glowing fury.
|{{blog|35|2013|03|05}}
|{{book|1|11}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cornstarch.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|36|Cornstarch}}'''
|''"How much cornstarch can I rinse down the drain before unpleasant things start to happen?"''
<div align="right">—Anna R., Fort Wayne, IN</div>
|It depends what you consider unpleasant. Your sink will clog and your house will flood with oobleck, but if you really really like cornstarch then nothing unpleasant will happen.
|{{blog|36|2013|03|12}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Supersonic Stereo.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|37|Supersonic Stereo}}'''
|''"What if you somehow managed to make a stereo travel at twice the speed of sound, would it sound backwards to someone who was just casually sitting somewhere as it flies by?"''
<div align="right">—Tim Currie</div>
|Assuming the stereo is indestructible, yes. Although you’d only get it supersonic for less than a second, and the music would be heavily compressed after the sonic boom.
|{{blog|37|2013|03|19}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:what if? Voyager.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|38|Voyager}}'''
|''"With today's technology, would it be possible to launch an unmanned mission to retrieve Voyager I?"''
<div align="right">—Elliot Bennett</div>
|You could ''reach'' Voyager I with some well-timed gravity assists from Jupiter and Saturn, but getting back would require an ''absurd'' amount of fuel. You could use ion fields to require less fuel, but they also produce less thrust.
|{{blog|38|2013|03|26}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Hockey Puck.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|39|Hockey Puck}}'''
|''"How hard would a puck have to be shot to be able to knock the goalie himself backwards into the net?"''
<div align="right">—Tom</div>
|This can't really happen, due to the size and weight difference between the goalie and a hockey puck. You'd need to fire an object at Mach 8 to knock the goalie back, but firing a puck at that speed would char the puck while air resistance would slow it down. If you actually did fire a hockey puck at a goalie at high speeds, it would have the same effect as hitting a cake with a tomato as hard as you can.
|{{blog|39|2013|04|02}}
|{{book|1|24}}
|
|-
|[[File:Pressure Cooker.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|40|Pressure Cooker}}'''
|''"Am I right to be afraid of pressure cookers? What's the worst thing that can happen if you misuse a pressure cooker in an ordinary kitchen?"''
<div align="right">—Delphine Lourtau</div>
|Ordinarily, the worst that can happen is the lid blowing off and superheated liquid spraying everywhere, but you can use one to make {{w|Dioxygen difluoride}}, which is much worse.
|{{blog|40|2013|04|9}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Go West.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|41|Go West}}'''
|''"If everybody in the US drove west, could we temporarily halt continental drift?"''
<div align="right">—Derek</div>
|No. While technically the car fleet would outpace the continental drift, the continental drift is being powered by the forces in the Earth's mantle, and these forces outmatch the car fleet by millions of times.
|{{blog|41|2013|04|16}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Longest Sunset.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|42|Longest Sunset}}'''
|''"What is the longest possible sunset you can experience while driving, assuming we are obeying the speed limit and driving on paved roads?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Berg</div>
|The longest way you can experience a sunset is by driving on certain roads in Norway and Finland for 95 minutes, as this is where the best method to outpace the Sun works (outpacing {{w|Terminator (solar)|the terminator}}). A similar concept has been explored in comic [[162: Angular Momentum]].
|{{blog|42|201304|23}}
|{{book|1|52}}
|{{book|32|2025|10|21|U8F7UNK9jco|Can you drive west to lengthen the sunset?}}
|-
|[[File:Train Loop.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|43|Train Loop}}'''
|''"Could a high-speed train run through a vertical loop, like a rollercoaster, with the passengers staying comfortable?"''
<div align="right">—Gero Walter</div>
|Even if we change the requirements to just the passengers surviving, this isn't plausible. A train can't complete a full loop without the loop being too small, making the train move too fast and making every passenger die from the g-forces involved.
|{{blog|43|2013|04|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:High Throw.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|44|High Throw}}'''
|''"How high can a human throw something?"''
<div align="right">—Irish Dave on the Isle of Man</div>
|Using estimations and aerodynamics calculations, Aroldis Champman (holder of the record for fastest pitch) could probably throw up to 16 giraffes high if he was using a golf ball. Unless you count letting go of balloons, of course.
|{{blog|44|2013|05|07}}
|{{book|1|38}}
|
|-
|[[File:ISS Music Video.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|45|ISS Music Video}}'''
|''"Is [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaOC9danxNo '''this'''] the most expensive music video ever?"''
<div align="right">—Various Youtube commenters</div>
|No. If the construction cost of the setpiece is how this is measured, then it would be U2's "Last Night on Earth" on a section of Interstate Highway. If not, then it doesn't even come close to Thriller.
|{{blog|45|2013|05|14}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Bowling Ball.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|46|Bowling Ball}}'''
|''"I've been told that if the Earth were shrunk down to the size of a bowling ball, it would be smoother than said bowling ball. My question is, what would a bowling ball look like if it were blown up to the size of the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Seth C.</div>
|A bowling ball the size of the Earth would be much less dense, and have much less gravity. Due to this, the finger holes would collapse. causing eruptions of hydrocarbons and scars similar to those on the Moon.
|{{blog|46|2013|05|21}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Alien Astronomers.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|47|Alien Astronomers}}'''
|''"Let's assume there's life on the the nearest habitable exoplanet and that they have technology comparable to ours. If they looked at our star right now, what would they see?"''
<div align="right">—Chuck H.</div>
|They wouldn't be able to see us very well. Radio waves fade quickly in space and we've stopped sending out as many of them. If they happened to pick up, they would only get a message similar to the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wow!_signal Wow! Signal]. The best message they could see is visible light, as the water and weather on Earth's surface would be a telltale marker of some form of life.
|{{blog|47|2013|05|28}}
|{{book|1|28}}
|
|-
|[[File:Sunset on the British Empire.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|48|Sunset on the British Empire}}'''
|''"When (if ever) did the Sun finally set on the British Empire?"''
<div align="right">—Kurt Amundson</div>
|If the British Empire kept the borders it had when the question was written, it would continue to experience eternal sunshine for many thousands of years until a total eclipse hits the Pitcairn Islands at the right time. However, in 2025, after the publication of this article, [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/clyvv04wk8zt the UK signed a treaty to give the British Indian Ocean Territory to Mauritius]. Once the treaty is ratified, and the territory is officially handed over, the sun can finally set on the British Empire.
|{{blog|48|2013|06|04}}
|{{book|1|60}}
|
|-
|[[File:Sunless Earth.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|49|Sunless Earth}}'''
|''"What would happen to the Earth if the Sun suddenly switched off?"''
<div align="right">—Many, many readers</div>
|We would see a variety of benefits across our lives such as the elimination of time zones, more reliable satellites, easier astronomy, and safer wild parsnip, but the downside is we would all freeze and die.
|{{blog|49|2013|06|11}}
|{{book|1|57}}
|{{book|24|2025|04|15|X7sbn9LMZOg| What if the sun suddenly went out?}}
|-
|[[File:Extreme Boating.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|50|Extreme Boating}}'''
|''"What would it be like to navigate a rowboat through a lake of mercury? What about bromine? Liquid gallium? Liquid tungsten? Liquid nitrogen? Liquid helium?"''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Aron</div>
|It would be difficult to row the boat on mercury because it's very dense. Bromine smells terrible and is highly toxic. Gallium would dissolve an aluminium boat. Liquid tungsten would incinerate you instantly. Liquid nitrogen would kill you either by suffocation or hypothermia. Liquid helium's superfluid properties would sink your boat, but at least you'd hear the “third sound” as you die.
|{{blog|50|2013|06|18}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Free Fall.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|51|Free Fall}}'''
|''"What place on Earth would allow you to freefall the longest by jumping off it? What about using a squirrel suit?"''
<div align="right">—Dhash Shrivathsa</div>
|It takes 26 seconds to fall from the top of {{w|Mount Thor}} into a pit of cotton candy at the bottom of the cliff. The record for the longest wingsuit glide is enough time for Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi to eat 45 hot dogs.
|{{blog|51|2013|06|25}}
|{{book|1|45}}
|
|-
|[[File:Bouncy Balls.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|52|Bouncy Balls}}'''
|''"What if one were to drop 3,000 bouncy balls from a seven story parking structure onto a person walking on the sidewalk below? Should the person survive, what would be the number of bouncy balls needed to kill them? What injuries would occur and what would the associated crimes be?"''
<div align="right">—Ginger Bread</div>
|Around 3,000,000 balls. Death would occur and you would be charged with manslaughter or murder.
|{{blog|52|2013|07|02}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Drain the Oceans.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|53|Drain the Oceans}}'''
|''"How quickly would the ocean's drain if a circular portal 10 meters in radius leading into space was created at the bottom of Challenger Deep, the deepest spot in the ocean? How would the Earth change as the water is being drained?"''
<div align="right">—Ted M.</div>
|Hundreds of thousands of years, so you'll need a bigger portal. As their basins are cut off, many shallow seas and a few deep trenches remain, leaving much of Earth still covered with water. Massive, unpredictable environmental changes would probably wipe out mankind. If they didn't, the Dutch would take over the world, no longer preoccupied with preventing their lands from flooding as they are now.
|{{blog|53|2013|07|09}}
|{{book|1|48}}
|{{book|12|2024|06|18|Jpy55EgMQgY|What if you drained the oceans?}}
|-
|[[File:Drain the Oceans Part II.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|54|Drain the Oceans: Part II}}'''
|''"Supposing you did '''{{what if|53|Drain the Oceans}}''', and dumped the water on top of the Curiosity rover, how would Mars change as the water accumulated?"''
<div align="right">—Iain</div>
|The water would fill the {{w|Valles Marineris}}, eventually leaving only {{w|Olympus Mons}} and some other small islands. The sea would ultimately freeze over, become covered in dust, and migrate to permafrost at the poles. In the meantime, the Netherlands would colonize Mars through the portal. The video additionally mentions that the greenhouse gas effects caused by all the new water might keep Mars's oceans liquid.
|{{blog|54|2013|07|16}}
|{{book|1|49}}
|{{book|14|2024|08|13|FkUNHhVbQ1Q|What if we teleported the oceans to Mars?}}
|-
|[[File:Random Sneeze Call.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|55|Random Sneeze Call}}'''
|''"If you call a random phone number and say "God bless you", what are the chances that the person who answers just sneezed? On average, not just in spring or fall."''
<div align="right">—Mimi</div>
|The chances they just sneezed are 1 in 40000. There's also a 1 in a billion chance that the person you called just murdered someone, a 1 in 10 trillion chance they've just been killed by lightning, and another 1 in 10 trillion chance that you and the other person called each other simultaneously.
|{{blog|55|2013|07|23}}
|{{book|1|53}}
|
|-
|[[File:Restraining an Airplane.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|56|Restraining an Airplane}}'''
|''"If you wanted to anchor an airplane into the ground so it wouldn't be able to take off, what would the rope have to be made out of?"''
<div align="right">—Connor Childerhose</div>
|A steel cable an inch thick, the lines of an army of fishermen, or the hair of 20 people. Hair has the highest tensile strength of any material in your body.
|{{blog|56|2013|07|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Dropping a Mountain.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|57|Dropping a Mountain}}'''
|''"What if a huge mountain—Denali, say—had the bottom inch of its base disappear? What would happen from the impact of the mountain falling 1 inch? What about 1 foot? What if the mountain's base were raised to the present height of the summit, and then the whole thing were allowed to drop to the earth?"''
<div align="right">—John-Clark Levin</div>
|An inch or a foot wouldn't do much, it would only feel like a 3.5 magnitude earthquake. Dropped from its own height, Denali would cause a magnitude 7 earthquake and crush coal to diamonds. Dropped from space, that's just a large asteroid and it would cause an impact winter.
|{{blog|57|2013|08|06}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="3" |[[File:Orbital Speed.png|100px]]
| rowspan="3" |'''{{What If|58|Orbital Speed}}'''
|''"What if a spacecraft slowed down on re-entry to just a few miles per hour using rocket boosters like the Mars-sky-crane? Would it negate the need for a heat shield?"''
<div align="right">—Brian</div>
| rowspan="3" |No, because you need to go 8 km/s to stay in orbit, and it would take impossible amounts of fuel to slow down.
| rowspan="3"{{blog|58|2013|08|12|1d early}}
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|43}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
|''"Is it possible for a spacecraft to control its reentry in such a way that it avoids the atmospheric compression and thus would not require the expensive (and relatively fragile) heat shield on the outside?"''
<div align="right">—Christopher Mallow</div>
|-
|''"Could a (small) rocket (with payload) be lifted to a high point in the atmosphere where it would only need a small rocket to get to escape velocity?"''
<div align="right">—Kenny Van de Maele</div>
|-
|[[File:Updating a Printed Wikipedia.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|59|Updating a Printed Wikipedia}}'''
|''"If you had a printed version of the whole of (say, the English) Wikipedia, how many printers would you need in order to keep up with the changes made to the live version?"''
<div align="right">—Susanne Könings</div>
|You'd need six printers, but if using an ink printer, costs would rack up to $500,000 a month, dwarfing paper and maintenance costs. You'd need to file away past versions in case they were reverted (restored), which would be a nightmare.
|{{blog|59|2013|08|20|1d late}}
|{{book|1|58}}
|{{book|13|2024|7|9|RgBYohJ7mIk|What if you tried to print Wikipedia?}}
|-
|[[File:Signs of Life.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|60|Signs of Life}}'''
|''"If you could teleport to a random place of the surface of the Earth, what are the odds that you'll see signs of intelligent life?"''
<div align="right">—Borislav Stanimirov</div>
|70% of the time you would end up in the ocean, while most of the rest will be somewhere uninhabited. But if it’s night, you can see satellites just by looking up.
|{{blog|60|2013|08|27}}
|
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|-
|[[File:Speed Bump.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|61|Speed Bump}}'''
|''"How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live?"''
<div align="right">—Myrlin Barber</div>
|At highway speeds, you could wreck your tires and suspension. Around 150-300 mph, the aerodynamics of a typical sedan will cause it to flip and crash before even reaching the speed bump. At 90% the speed of light, you could face a billion-dollar speeding ticket.
|{{blog|61|2013|09|03}}
|{{book|1|41}}
|
|-
|[[File:Falling With Helium.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|62|Falling With Helium}}'''
|''"What if I jumped out of an airplane with a couple of tanks of helium and one huge, un-inflated balloon? Then, while falling, I release the helium and fill the balloon. How long of a fall would I need in order for the balloon to slow me enough that I could land safely?"''
<div align="right">—Colin Rowe</div>
|You would need a balloon at least 10 to 20 meters across to slow your fall, as well as needing 10 helium tanks that are 250 cubic feet. You'd have to do it really quickly though, and starting from a higher place will not help due to the atmosphere's thinness making you accelerate.
|{{blog|62|2013|09|10}}
|{{book|1|34}}
|
|-
|[[File:Google's Datacenters on Punch Cards.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|63|Google's Datacenters on Punch Cards}}'''
|''"If all digital data were stored on punch cards, how big would Google's data warehouse be?"''
<div align="right">—James Zetlin</div>
|Using electric consumption and datacenter spending as a measuring stick, Google probably has around 1-2 million servers, which equates to around 15 exabytes (or 15,000,000,000,000,000,000 bytes). Assuming a punch card holds 80 characters, all of that data comes out to 4.5 kilometers/2.8 miles, 3x deeper than the New England ice sheets.
|{{blog|63|2013|09|17}}
|
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|-
|[[File:Rising Steadily.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|64|Rising Steadily}}'''
|''"If you suddenly began rising steadily at one foot per second, how exactly would you die? Would you freeze or suffocate first? Or something else?"''
<div align="right">—Rebecca B</div>
|A nudist would survive for five hours, then succumb to the cold. With a good coat, one would survive for seven, even plausibly eight, until reaching the low-oxygen {{w|death zone}} and suffocating. However, your corpse would outlast the Earth as it was swallowed by the Sun.
|{{blog|64|2013|09|24}}
|{{book|1|15}}
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|-
|[[File:Twitter Timeline Height.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|65|Twitter Timeline Height}}'''
|''"If our Twitter timelines (tweets by the people we follow) actually extended off the screen in both directions, how tall would they be?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|It's difficult to pin down an "average" for Twitter timeline lengths, but an estimate by Diego Basch and the Tweet rate as of 2013 suggests that the section timeline extending to the past would have 345 billion tweets and be 8,000,000 kilometers (5,000,000 miles) tall. Using extrapolation techniques similar to those used in the {{w|German tank problem}}, the future and past timelines combined would likely contain 690 billion tweets.
|{{blog|65|2013|10|01}}
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|-
|[[File:500 MPH.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|66|500 MPH}}'''
|''"If winds reached 500 mph, would it pick up a human?"''
<div align="right">—Grey Flynn, age 7, Stoneham, MA</div>
|500 mph winds are more than fast enough to pick up a person and propel them through the air. In fact, 500 mph winds are so fast that they only occur on Earth in extreme situations like the immediate vicinity of an erupting volcano or the aftermath of a major asteroid impact at which point wind speed would only be one of many dangers to human survival.
|{{blog|66|2013|10|08}}
|
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|-
| rowspan="2" |[[File:Expanding Earth.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|67|Expanding Earth}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"How long would it take for people to notice their weight gain if the mean radius of the world expanded by 1cm every second? (Assuming the average composition of rock were maintained.)"''
<div align="right">—Dennis O’Donnell</div>
| rowspan="2" |After a month, the gain would be measurable but within the normal variation of gravity. After a year, it would be more prominent at 5%. Humans could survive with difficulty for a decade, but even in specially-built environments, they would succumb within a century as air itself became toxic from atmospheric pressure. After a few centuries, the Moon would fall into the Roche limit and crumble into rings.
| rowspan="2" {{blog|67|2013|10|15}}
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|55}}
|{{book|17|2024|10|15|-1-ldW4kpLM|What if Earth grew 1cm every second?}}
|-
|{{book|6|short-video=yes|2025|08|05|5k8ciEx__5w|Circumference pop quiz!}}
|-
|[[File:Little Planet.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|68|Little Planet}}'''
|''"If an asteroid was very small but supermassive, could you really live on it like the Little Prince?"''
<div align="right">—Samantha Harper</div>
|Technically, yes. However, there would be major challenges. For one, gravity would be at full strength at your feet, but only 25% strength at your head, giving the illusion that you're being stretched. You would need to sprint at 3 meters per second to leave orbit. However, if you don't make it to that point, you would enter a highly eccentric orbit which would pull on your body in strange ways. Alternatively, you could escape the atmosphere by jumping. If you can make a dunk in basketball on Earth, you could escape this body by jumping.
|{{blog|68|2013|10|22}}
|{{book|1|22}}
|
|-
|[[File:Facebook of the Dead.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|69|Facebook of the Dead}}'''
|''"When, if ever, will Facebook contain more profiles of dead people than of living ones?"''
<div align="right">—Emily Dunham</div>
|This depends on if Facebook stays popular or declines in popularity over time. In the former case, the dead would only outnumber the living well into the 2100s; while in the latter, this happens around 2060. Facebook can afford to keep all our data indefinitely, but there are ethical questions.
|{{blog|69|2013|10|29}}
|{{book|1|59}}
|
|-
|[[File:The Constant Groundskeeper.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|70|The Constant Groundskeeper}}'''
|''"How big of a lawn would you have to have so that when you finished mowing you'd need to start over because the grass has grown?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Nelson</div>
|A normal, standard-issue mower running for 10 hours straight could cut an area of 25,000 square meters, or 27,000 yards. Using a much faster mower commissioned by the magazine ''Top Gear'' that is used all day, every day, it could cut an adult male cougar's home range (which [https://wdfw.wa.gov/species-habitats/species/puma-concolor#:~:text=Adult%20male%20cougars%20roam%20widely,terrain%2C%20and%20availability%20of%20prey. the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife] reports as 50-150 miles or 80-240 kilometers).
|{{blog|70|2013|11|05}}
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|
|-
|[[File:Stirring Tea.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|71|Stirring Tea}}'''
|''"I was absentmindedly stirring a cup of hot tea, when I got to thinking, "aren't I actually adding kinetic energy into this cup?" I know that stirring does help to cool down the tea, but what if I were to stir it faster? Would I be able to boil a cup of water by stirring?"''
<div align="right">—Will Evans</div>
|No, not really, It would take at least 1 horsepower (a lot for a person stirring), and reducing the power would just make it cool faster. Stirring faster and faster would cause a vacuum to form and stirring to become ineffective.
|{{blog|71|2013|11|12}}
|{{book|1|61}}
|
|-
|[[File:Loneliest Human.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|72|Loneliest Human}}'''
|''"What is the furthest one human being has ever been from every other living person? Were they lonely?"''
<div align="right">—Bryan J. McCarter</div>
|The most well-documented candidates are six Apollo astronauts who ventured behind the dark side of the Moon. Antarctic explorers and pre-colonialism Polynesian explorers have a shot, but there's no good evidence of specific people who beat the Apollo record. Astronauts Mike Collins and Al Worden said they were not at all lonely, the latter even enjoying his soltitude.
|{{blog|72|2013|11|19}}
|{{book|1|63}}
|
|-
|[[File:Lethal Neutrinos.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|73|Lethal Neutrinos}}'''
|''"How close would you have to be to a supernova to get a lethal dose of neutrino radiation?"''
<div align="right">—(Overheard in a physics department)</div>
|Neutrinos are subatomic particles that barely interact with the universe at all, so it's hard to imagine a scenario where they could harm you, even in a supernova. But at about 2.3 AU, or a little farther than Mars is from the Sun, even the neutrinos would be dense enough to kill you. On the other hand, if you were that close, you were probably inside the star that created the supernova, in which case ''[[#115|Into the Sun]]'' would apply.
|{{blog|73|2013|11|26}}
|{{book|1|39}}
|
|-
|[[File:Soda Planet.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|74|Soda Planet}}'''
|''"How much of the Earth's currently-existing water has ever been turned into a soft drink at some point in its history?"''
<div align="right">—Brian Roelofs</div>
|Humans have likely consumed 6.5 trillion liters or 1.7 trillion gallons of soda ever, based on estimates of population growth and popularity of soda. Assuming humanity has drunk 100 trillion liters (26 trillion gallons) of water, it is reasonable to conclude that only 0.0000005% of Earth's current water reservoir has been turned into a soft drink. However, considering how long water takes to cycle around and certain prehistoric life forms, the water in the average soda was likely once consumed by a dinosaur.
|{{blog|74|2013|12|03}}
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|[[File:Phone Keypad.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|75|Phone Keypad}}'''
|''"I use one of those old phones where you type with numbers—for example, to type "Y", you press 9 three times. Some words have consecutive letters on the same number. When they do, you have to pause between letters, making those words annoying to type. What English word has the most consecutive letters on the same key?"''
<div align="right">—Stewart Bishop</div>
|The English word with the most consecutive letters on the same key is "Nonmonogamous". This would require you to type the 6 key (MNO) 16 times without stopping, in order to type 'nonmono'. With every letter included, typing this word would require pressing the 2, 4, 7, and 8 keys once each, and the 6 key a nice, even 20 times.
|{{blog|75|2013|12|10}}
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|[[File:Reading Every Book.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|76|Reading Every Book}}'''
|''"At what point in human history were there too many (English) books to be able to read them all in one lifetime?"''
<div align="right">—Gregory Willmot</div>
|About the 1500s, as the population of active English writers reached a few hundred, meaning you would never be able to catch up (using the average word count for a few famous authors as a baseline). You might not want to read them, anyways.
|{{blog|76|2013|12|17}}
|{{book|2|10}}
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|[[File:Growth Rate.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|77|Growth Rate}}'''
|''"What height would humans reach if we kept growing through our whole development period (i.e. till late teens/early twenties) at the same pace as we do during our first month?"''
<div align="right">—Maria</div>
|We would reach 10 to 12 meters at age 20, though the human body is not scalable to those heights, as our bone structure is too thin, while our hearts wouldn't be able to pump the blood around.
|{{blog|77|2013|12|31|7d late}}
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|[[File:T-rex Calories.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|78|T-rex Calories}}'''
|''"If a T-rex were released in New York City, how many humans/day would it need to consume to get its needed calorie intake?"''
<div align="right">—Tony Schmitz</div>
|Estimates vary, but the T-rex was estimated to need 40,000 calories per day. Ryan North of Dinosaur Comics tells us that the average 80 kg/175 pound human [http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=QW-PERSON&Category_Code=QW contains 110,000 calories]. Therefore, a T-rex would need to eat someone every 2 days or so.
|{{blog|78|2014|01|07}}
|{{book|2|7|T. Rex Calories}}
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|[[File:Lake Tea.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|79|Lake Tea}}'''
|''"What if we were to dump all the tea in the world into the Great Lakes? How strong, compared to a regular cup of tea, would the lake tea be?"''
<div align="right">—Alex Burman</div>
|An average cup of tea requires 2 grams of tea per 100 mL of water, and to make proper tea out of the Great Lakes, you would need 450 billion tons of tea for the Great Lakes' 22,600 cubic kilometers/5400 cubic miles of water. A total year's supply of tea is only 4.8 million tons, which would make tea about as strong as 2 drops in a bathtub. To make proper lake tea, you could use Wular Lake in Kashmir or Ullswater in UK's lake district, due to the volume of both being small enough for the tea to work.
|{{blog|79|2014|01|14}}
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|[[File:Pile of Viruses.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|80|Pile of Viruses}}'''
|''"What if every virus in the world were collected into one area? How much volume would they take up and what would they look like?"''
<div align="right">—Dave</div>
|''Human'' viruses would fill about ten oil drums. ''All'' viruses would form a wet heap the size of a small mountain, with a texture resembling pus or meat slurry.
|{{blog|80|2014|01|21}}
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|[[File:Catch!.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|81|Catch!}}'''
|''"Is there any way to fire a gun so that the bullet flies through the air and can then be safely caught by hand? e.g. shooter is at sea level and catcher is up a mountain at the extreme range of the gun."''
<div align="right">—Ed Hui, London</div>
|Yes, eventually the bullet would come to a maximum height, at which point you could grab the bullet before it fell down. You'd need to grip it firmly, because the bullet would still have its rotational momentum and might jump out of your hand. A larger bullet would require a larger height to catch it at, and even then, it would still be difficult to grab. Of course, this is illegal and can injure you or other people.
|{{blog|81|2014|01|28}}
|{{book|2|12}}
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|[[File:Hitting a comet.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|82|Hitting a comet}}'''
|''"Astrophysicists are always saying things like "This mission to this comet is equivalent to throwing a baseball from New York and hitting a particular window in San Francisco." Are they really equivalent?"''
<div align="right">—Tom Foster</div>
|The baseball thing is much harder. You'd have to hit it out of the atmosphere, and a baseball is too small to do that. Even if you could, it's still not a fair comparison because astrophysicists are allowed to refine their approach as they close in on the target, which you can't do with a thrown baseball. It turns out that the comet mission requires about the same level of precision as laser eye surgery.
|{{blog|82|2014|02|05|1d late}}
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|[[File:Star Sand.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|83|Star Sand}}'''
|''"If you made a beach using grains the proportionate size of the stars in the Milky Way, what would that beach look like?"''
<div align="right">—Jeff Wartes</div>
|Although red giants aren't as common as Sun-like stars or red dwarfs, they would form a stretch of gravel that went on for miles due to their large relative volume. 99% of all stars would form a small patch of sand.
|{{blog|83|2014|02|11|1d early}}
|{{book|2|16}}
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|[[File:Paint the Earth.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|84|Paint the Earth}}'''
|''"Has humanity produced enough paint to cover the entire land area of the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Josh (Bolton, MA)</div>
|There isn't enough paint to go around. The total estimated amount of produced paint, a trillion litres, is only enough to paint as much as the land area of Russia.
|{{blog|84|2014|02|18}}
|{{book|2|14}}
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|[[File:Rocket Golf.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|85|Rocket Golf}}'''
|''"Assuming that you have a spaceship in orbit around the Earth, could you propel your ship to speeds exceeding escape velocity by hitting golf balls in the other direction? If so, how many golf balls would be required to reach the Moon?"''
<div align="right">—Dan (Kanata, Ontario)</div>
|You ''could'' propel your ship using golf balls, but, assuming they are being fired at 226 mph (363 km/h), the fastest world record, the amount of golf balls needed for this would be around the size of Earth and wouldn't even get you to the Moon. You'd need a potato cannon fueled by acetylene firing golf balls at 310 mph (500 km/h) which reduces the size of the golf mass to 150 miles (240 kilometers). This would be incredibly costly and firing them faster would essentially be the same as building a normal rocket.
|{{blog|85|2014|02|25}}
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|[[File:Far-Traveling Objects.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|86|Far-Traveling Objects}}'''
|''"In terms of human-made objects, has Voyager 1 travelled the farthest distance? It's certainly the farthest from Earth we know about. But what about the edge of ultracentrifuges, or generator turbines that have been running for years, for example?"''
<div align="right">—Matt Russell</div>
|There are a few different frames of reference you can look at, but in normal terms Mariner 10 has traveled much farther than Voyager 1. It's travelled a couple of light-days around the Sun, while the Voyager probes have only travelled a dozen light-hours.
|{{blog|86|2014|03|04}}
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|[[File:Enforced by Radar.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|87|Enforced by Radar}}'''
|''"I've occasionally seen "radar enforced" on speed limit signs, and I can't help but ask: How intense would radio waves have to be to stop a car from going over the speed limit, and what would happen if this were attempted?"''
<div align="right">—Joausc</div>
|Radio waves are generally ''very weak''. You'd need the collective energy of trillions of cell phones just to levitate a snow flake. To stop a car, you'd need at least 2 trillion joules of radiation, which would vaporize the car and everything else around it.
|{{blog|87|2014|03|11}}
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|[[File:Soda Sequestration.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|88|Soda Sequestration}}'''
|''"How much CO2 is contained in the world's stock of bottled fizzy drinks? How much soda would be needed to bring atmospheric CO2 back to preindustrial levels?"''
<div align="right">—Brandon Seah</div>
|There are currently 400 parts of carbon dioxide per million. To bring it down to pre-Industrial levels, you'd need 450 quadrillion cans of soda, each being able to hold 2.2 grams of CO2. This would cover Earth's land 10 times over.
|{{blog|88|2014|03|18}}
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|[[File:Tungsten Countertop.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|89|Tungsten Countertop}}'''
|''"How far would a tungsten countertop descend if I dropped it into the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Leuchtenburg</div>
|Tungsten has the highest melting point of any element, but even tungsten would melt before it got too far. If you protected it with a heat shield, it would get destroyed all the same by the battering of the particles in the Sun's atmosphere. It could possibly penetrate the surface if it was larger, but as it stands, it wouldn't get past the outer layers.
|{{blog|89|2014|03|25}}
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|[[File:Great Tree, Great Axe.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|90|Great Tree, Great Axe}}'''
|''"If all the seas were one sea,''
''What a great sea that would be!''
''If all the trees were one tree,''
''What a great tree that would be!''
''If all the men were one man,''
''What a great man that would be!''
''If all the axes were one axe,''
''What a great axe that would be!''
''And if the great man took the great axe,''
''And cut down the great tree,''
''And let if fall into the great sea,''
''What a great splish-splash that would be!''

''... How great would all of these things be?"''
<div align="right">—John Eifert (quoting a ''Mother Goose'' rhyme)</div>
|The seas would be a little bigger than the Pacific Ocean. Trees can't grow taller than about 130 meters naturally, and would physically crush itself if above a few kilometers tall. Ignoring these restraints, the tree would be about 75 km tall with trunk diameter of 2 km. Ignoring human size restraints, the person would be close to 3 km tall. The axe would be about 500 meters long and relatively the size of a flimsy hatchet. It may take a few weeks to chop down the tree and the impact would create a tsunami that probably wouldn't wipe out the human race, but would be likely the deadliest single disaster in our history.
|{{blog|90|2014|04|03|2d late}}
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|[[File:Faucet Power.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|91|Faucet Power}}'''
|''"I just moved into a new apartment. It includes hot water but I have to pay the electric bill. So being a person on a budget ... what's the best way to use my free faucet to generate electricity?"''
<div align="right">—David Axel Kurtz</div>
|A small hydroelectric dam in the bathtub would yield about $0.25 per month of electricity, but the best option would probably be to bottle and sell your tap water, yielding about $38 million per year at $1.50 per bottle.
|{{blog|91|2014|04|08|2d early}}
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|[[File:One-Second Day.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|92|One-Second Day}}'''
|''"What would happen if the Earth's rotation were sped up until a day only lasted one second?"''
<div align="right">—Dylan</div>
|Everything on Earth would die, but if it happened when the Moon crosses the plane of the Earth, then everything in the Solar System will die (whether there is a difference is debatable).
|{{blog|92|2014|04|15}}
|{{book|2|21}}
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|[[File:Windshield Raindrops.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|93|Windshield Raindrops}}'''
|''"At what speed would you have to drive for rain to shatter your windshield?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Butler</div>
|Water droplets in air are normally lighter than the air, so this wouldn't happen under normal circumstances. However, at supersonic speeds, the water droplet would impact the windshield at Mach 18. It wouldn't shatter the windshield, but it would slowly batter it away.
|{{blog|93|2014|04|22}}
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|[[File:Billion-Story Building.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|94|Billion-Story Building}}'''
|''"My daughter — age 4.5 — maintains she wants a billion-story building. It turns out not only is that hard to help her appreciate this size, I am not at all able to explain all of the other difficulties you'd have to overcome."''
<div align="right">—Keira, via Steve Brodovicz, Media, PA </div>
|The tower would be far too big to support itself under its own weight. The tower would also extend past the Moon. The sheer amount of elevators needed would provide little to no room for actual usable space. Additionally, space junk would be a large problem, as there is a high probability that space junk would collide with the tower.
|{{blog|94|2014|04|29}}
|{{book|2|22}}
|{{book|21|2025|02|11|Z_xJ40QXu7Q|What if you built a billion-story building?}}
|-
|[[File:Pyramid Energy.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|95|Pyramid Energy}}'''
|''"What took more energy, the building of the Great Pyramid of Giza or the Apollo Mission? If we could convert the energy to build the Great Pyramid, would it be enough to send a rocket to the Moon and back?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Marmol</div>
|The Apollo Program took about the same manpower as the building of the Great Pyramids, but physics wise, the Great Pyramid only contains 10<sup>12</sup> joules of gravitational potential energy. A single Saturn V rocket's fuel has 20 times more energy.
|{{blog|95|2014|05|06}}
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|[[File:$2 Undecillion Lawsuit.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|96|$2 Undecillion Lawsuit}}'''
|''"What if Au Bon Pain lost '''[http://www.loweringthebar.net/2014/05/2-undecillion-dollar-demand.html this lawsuit]''' and had to pay the plaintiff $2 undecillion?"''
<div align="right">—Kevin Underhill</div>
|The debt would be incredibly great, to the point that everything ever created by man does not have enough value to pay it off. For comparison, former soliciter general Ted Olson leaked that he charges $1600 per hour for his services. Even if every habitable planet in the Milky Way had a population of 8 billion Ted Olsons, and you hired all of them for a thousand generations, the cost would still be lower than if you lost.
|{{blog|96|2014|05|14|1d late}}
|{{book|2|23}}
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|[[File:Burning Pollen.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|97|Burning Pollen}}'''
|''"What if you were to somehow ignite the pollen that floats around in the air in spring? Other than being a really bad idea, what effect would it have?"''
<div align="right">—Jessica Thornburg</div>
|It would just warm up the air by a very tiny bit, but only because it's so thinly spread. Gathering all of it from a large enough region into one pile could equal a nuclear weapon.
|{{blog|97|2014|05|20|1d early}}
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|[[File:Blood Alcohol.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|98|Blood Alcohol}}'''
|''"Could you get drunk from drinking a drunk person's blood?"''
<div align="right">—Fiona Byrne</div>
|No, you can't. Alcohol in a drunk person's blood would be very diluted and by the time you drank the 14 glasses needed to get drunk, you would've vomited on the account of drinking blood. That aside, you could also get iron overload as well as various blood-borne diseases.
|{{blog|98|2014|05|27}}
|{{book|2|42}}
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|[[File:Starlings.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|99|Starlings}}'''
|''"I was watching '''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eakKfY5aHmY this video]''' and was wondering: How many birds there would need to be for gravity to take over and force them into a gargantuan ball of birds?"''
<div align="right">—Justin Basinger</div>
|Each bird is 85 grams, with a density of around 43 grams per square meter. Because of this, the air would be 25 times stronger than the starlings and the substance governing the collapse. The air would have to be bigger than the Earth to collapse the starlings and the starlings themselves would need to be bigger than the Solar System. They would then promptly turn into a star.
|{{blog|99|2014|06|03}}
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|[[File:WWII Films.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|100|WWII Films}}'''
|''"Did WWII last longer than the total length of movies about WWII? For that matter, which war has the highest movie time:war time ratio?"''
<div align="right">—Becky</div>
|Assuming the average run time of a WWII film was 95 minutes, the combined length was 300 days, meaning World War II was longer than the movies 7 times over. The two most likely candidates for highest movie:war ratio are the Indo-Pakistani war, which lasted 13 days and has 5 catalogued films about it, and the Anglo-Zanzibar war, which only lasted 38 minutes but lacked any films. In 2015, someone took Randall's advice and made [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5954666/ Zanzibar], a short film (31 minutes) that takes the record.
|{{blog|100|2014|06|11|1d late}}
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|[[File:Plastic Dinosaurs.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|101|Plastic Dinosaurs}}'''
|''"As plastic is made from oil and oil is made from dead dinosaurs, how much actual real dinosaur is there in a plastic dinosaur?"''
<div align="right">—Steve Lydford</div>
|Contrary to the name, oil is not made of dead dinosaurs, mostly being composed of marine plankton and algae. Geology is complicated, but the gist is that only a small fraction of a plastic dinosaur toy could've come from dinosaur oil, and depending on the location, it may contain none at all.
|{{blog|101|2014|06|18}}
|{{book|2|26}}
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|[[File:Keyboard Power.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|102|Keyboard Power}}'''
|''"As a writer, I'm wondering what would be the cumulative energy of the hundreds of thousands of keystrokes required to write a novel."''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Dickner</div>
|Writing one full novel would provide enough energy to run a laptop for 15 seconds. If each novel takes you six months, this would save a fraction of a penny of electricity. To keep a laptop, you'd need to write a novel every ten seconds, and to run a microwave would require one novel per second.
|{{blog|102|2014|06|25}}
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|[[File:Vanishing Water.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|103|Vanishing Water}}'''
|''"What would happen if all the bodies of water on Earth magically disappeared?"''
<div align="right">—Joanna Xu</div>
|If all water vanished, the first to notice would be anybody currently in the ocean, and over the course of a minute, they would all fall, some of them dying but some surviving with minor injuries. After this, all marine life will have perished. Humans follow soon after as the water cycle would've stopped, collapsing global infrustructure and killing every plant and person by dehydration. The end of the water cycle also leads to a runaway greenhouse effect later on.
|{{blog|103|2014|07|02}}
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|[[File:Global Snow.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|104|Global Snow}}'''
|''"From my seven-year-old son: How many snowflakes would it take to cover the entire world in six feet of snow? (I don't know why six feet...but that's what he asked.)"''
<div align="right">—Jed Scott</div>
|Snow isn't very dense, and 1 inch of rain would lead to a foot or more of snow. Factoring in snow compressing throughout the day, you would need a mole of snowflakes to cover the Earth in 6 feet in snow.
|{{blog|104|2014|07|09}}
|{{book|2|59}}
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|[[File:Cannibalism.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|105|Cannibalism}}'''
|''"How long could the human race survive on only cannibalism?"''
<div align="right">—Quinn Shaffer</div>
|If half of the world eats the other half, then it would take about 32 months before it came down to 2 people. However, this is also a very efficient way to get a {{w|Transmissible spongiform encephalopathy|prion disease}}.
|{{blog|105|2014|07|16}}
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|{{book|31|2025|09|30|PUtI3xoaHx0|Could we survive eating only humans?}}
|-
|[[File:Ink Molecules.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|106|Ink Molecules}}'''
|''"Suppose you were to print, in 12 point text, the numeral 1 using a common cheap ink-jet printer. How many molecules of the ink would be used? At what numerical value would the number printed approximately equal the number of ink molecules used?"''
<div align="right">—David Pelkey</div>
|You'd use about 100,000,000,000,000,000 molecules.
|{{blog|106|2014|07|23}}
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|[[File:Letter to Mom.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|107|Letter to Mom}}'''
|''"What’s the fastest way to get a hand-written letter from my place in Chicago to my mother in New Jersey?"''
<div align="right">—Tim</div>
|An ICBM would take 12-15 minutes to cross the distance. While that is the best method, a few other methods come close. The Concorde would only take 30 minutes, while firing something with a rail gun down a vacuum tube would take only 10-20 minutes.
|{{blog|107|2014|07|30}}
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|[[File:Expensive Shoebox.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|108|Expensive Shoebox}}'''
|''"What would be the most expensive way to fill a size 11 shoebox (e.g. with 64 GB MicroSD cards all full of legally purchased music)?"''
<div align="right">—Rick Lewis</div>
|There are many options (precious materials, hard drugs, physical file storage, etc.), but they all cap out at ~$2,000,000,000. That amount of platinum would be worth $13 million, while diamonds, Adcetris and LSD would be valued around 1-2 billion,
|{{blog|108|2014|08|13|7d late}}
|{{book|2|31}}
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|[[File:Into the Blue.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|109|Into the Blue}}'''
|''"If I shot an infinitely strong laser beam into the sky at a random point, how much damage would it do?"''
<div align="right">—Garrett D.</div>
|Infinitely powerful laser beams do not exist, and if they did, they would vaporize the air and destroy everything like in the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|13|Laser Pointer}}''. That being said, if it were truly random, it would be aimed at Earth 50% of the time. If you miss the Earth, 89,999 times out of 90,000, your beam will pass right out of the galaxy without hitting anything. When it does hit something, it will almost always be the Sun or the Moon.
|{{blog|109|2014|08|20}}
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|[[File:Walking New York.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|110|Walking New York}}'''
|''"Could a person walk the entire city of NY in their lifetime? (including inside apartments)"''
<div align="right">—Asif Shamir</div>
|Based on estimates of US Postal Service carriers and their travel times, we know that walking every street in NYC would probably take 14 years. Assuming it takes about 25 seconds to enter an apartment building, leave, and go to the next one, it would only take an additional 10 years to visit every apartment. However, under [http://ypdcrime.com/penal.law/article140.htm New York Penal Code], the punishment would take 2 million years or 2,000 millenia to finish.
|{{blog|110|2014|08|27}}
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|[[File:All the Money.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|111|All the Money}}'''
|''"People sometimes say "If I had all the money in the world ..." in order to discuss what they would do if they had no financial constraints. I'm curious, though, what would happen if one person had all of the world's money?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Pino</div>
|Currency only makes up a fraction of Earth's money, and it's unlikely people would agree to your sudden claims of ownership over all of the land, nor would they let you spend the actual currency you have. Said currency would quickly crush you, as most of its weight is in coinage. You could build a structure to contain the coins, but this would violate NYC building codes.
|{{blog|111|2014|09|02|1d early}}
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|{{book|25|2025|05|06|saj7b5C6TCM|What if you literally had all the money in the world?}}
|-
|[[File:Balloon Car.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|112|Balloon Car}}'''
|''"My 12-year-old daughter is proposing an interesting project. She is planning to attach a number of helium balloons to a chair, which in turn would be tethered by means of a rope to a Ferrari. Her 13-year-old friend would then drive the Ferrari around, while she sits in the chair enjoying uninterrupted views of the countryside. Leaving aside the legal and insurance difficulties, my daughter is keen to know the maximum speed that she could expect to attain, and how many helium balloons would be required."''
<div align="right">—Phil Rodgers, Cambridge, UK</div>
|A balloon just big enough to lift you would be pushed down by the wind, and a balloon big enough to counteract that would lift up the car along with you. The way to achieve this result is [https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=parasailing parasailing].
|{{blog|112|2014|09|17|8d late}}
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|[[File:Visit Every State.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|113|Visit Every State}}'''
|''"How fast could you visit all 50 states?"''
<div align="right">—as discussed by Stephen Von Worley <span class="plainlinks">on [http://www.datapointed.net/2012/08/fastest-route-to-visit-all-fifty-united-states/ '''''Data Pointed''''']</span>
|It would take you 160 hours by car, 39 hours by landing a private jet in each state, and 18 hours by F-22 fighter jet and helicopter landing in each state. However, if you relax the requirement to land in each state and simply count entering the state's airspace as "visiting" it, you can do it in around 7 hours with an SR-71 Blackbird. If we allow satellite orbits, you can do it in just over 6 hours with five orbits, assuming your satellite makes a course correction on each orbit.
|{{blog|113|2014|09|24}}
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|[[File:Antimatter.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|114|Antimatter}}'''
|''"What if everything was antimatter, EXCEPT Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Sean Gallagher</div>
|It would wipe out all life on Earth, but surprisingly slower than you might expect. The annihilation of antimatter entering the atmosphere would add enough extra heat to create a runaway greenhouse effect and make Earth similar to Venus. We would be in much more danger from meteorites, with dinosaur-killer equivalents hitting the upper atmosphere every few months.
|{{blog|114|2014|10|01}}
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|[[File:Into the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|115|Into the Sun}}'''
|''"When I was about 8 years old, shoveling snow on a freezing day in Colorado, I wished that I could be instantly transported to the surface of the Sun, just for a nanosecond, then instantly transported back. I figured this would be long enough to warm me up but not long enough to harm me. What would actually happen?"''
<div align="right">—AJ, Kansas City</div>
|You would not be warmed if you went to the surface, as the energy received by your skin would be minimal. You would maybe see a bright flash of light. The core, on the other hand, would vaporize you, as the energy delivered there would be able to give you a second-degree burn after 1 femtosecond (1 millionth of a nanosecond) in the core.
|{{blog|115|2014|10|08}}
|{{book|2|61}}
|{{book|15|2024|09|03|UXA-Af-JeCE|Could you survive a nanosecond on the Sun?}}
|-
| rowspan="3" |[[File:No-Rules NASCAR.png|100px]]
| rowspan="3" |'''{{What If|116|No-Rules NASCAR}}'''
| rowspan="3" |''"If you stripped away all the rules of car racing and had a contest which was simply to get a human being around a track 200 times as fast as possible, what strategy would win? Let's say the racer has to survive."''
<div align="right">—Hunter Freyer</div>
| rowspan="3" |If the rider has to survive, 90 minutes is the limit based on human G-force tolerances. If survival is not a priority, you'd build a particle accelerator.
| rowspan="3" {{blog|116|2014|10|15}}
| rowspan="3" {{book|2|35}}
|{{book|3|2023|12|19|JcXpCyPc2Xw|What if NASCAR had no rules?}}
|-
|{{book|8|short-video=yes|2025|08|26|eSPcp-tfGbA|How fast could a human accellerate (while staying alive)?}}
|-
|{{book|9|short-video=yes|2025|09|02|rgUfcFAPicY|How fast could a vehicle go around a track - but the racer does not have to survive.}}
|-
|[[File:Distant Death.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|117|Distant Death}}'''
|''"What is the farthest from Earth that any Earth thing has died?"''
<div align="right">—Amy from NZ</div>
|The farthest that any human has died is about 167 kilometers. In terms of any living thing, however, bacterial spores on Voyager 1 are dying every few months, setting a new record each time.
|{{blog|117|2014|10|23|1d late}}
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|[[File:Physical Salary.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|118|Physical Salary}}'''
|''"What if people's incomes appeared around them as cash in real time? How much would you need to make to be in real trouble?"''
<div align="right">—Julia Anderson, Albuquerque, NM</div>
|At minimum US wage, a worker would earn about one water bottle of mixed coins per day. A CEO would earn about 600 such bottles per day, and the coins would accumulate on the floor at a rate of about 0.5 inches per day. Mark Zuckerberg would earn 25 such bottles ''per second'', and the coins would bury him if he sat still for an hour.
|{{blog|118|2014|10|30}}
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| rowspan="2" |[[File:Laser Umbrella.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|119|Laser Umbrella}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"Stopping rain from falling on something with an umbrella or a tent is boring. What if you tried to stop rain with a laser that targeted and vaporized each incoming droplet before it could come within ten feet of the ground?"''
<div align="right">—Zach Wheeler</div>
| rowspan="2" |It's doable in theory, but the energy required to completely vaporize a raindrop (rather than merely splattering it) is high enough that your surroundings would get dangerously hot. Targeting the droplets might be possible with adaptive optics, but it would require a complicated device. You could try firing rapidly in random directions instead, but your high-powered laser might go several hundred meters without hitting a raindrop, which would endanger your local neighborhood.
| rowspan="2"{{blog|119|2014|11|13|7d late}}
| rowspan="2"{{book|2|37}}
|{{book|6|2024|02|20|zgBTwtg7H8E|Could you make an umbrella out of lasers?}}
|-
|{{book|15|short-video=yes|2025|11|4|xA9aqKGBeOs|Could you use a laser as an umbrella?}}
|-
|[[File:Alternate Universe What Ifs.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|120|Alternate Universe What Ifs}}'''
|''"Dispatches from a horrifying alternate universe"''
|Excerpts from ''what if?'' articles written in a world which, thankfully, is not the one we live in.
|{{blog|120|2014|11|20}}
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|[[File:Frozen Rivers.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|121|Frozen Rivers}}'''
|''"What would happen if all of the rivers in the US were instantly frozen in the middle of the summer?"''
<div align="right">—Zoe Cutler</div>
|Anywhere with rain or snowmelt would be horrifically flooded, and ice would break, then dam up rivers, forming huge lakes. Humanity would be worse for the wear, but all in all fine. Places where electricity is gotten using a hydroelectric dam may be out of power for a bit, but the flow of water would return in time.
|{{blog|121|2014|12|11}} 14d late)
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|[[File:Lava Lamp.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|122|Lava Lamp}}'''
|''"What if I made a lava lamp out of real lava? What could I use as a clear medium? How close could I stand to watch it?"''
<div align="right">—Kathy Johnstone, 6th Grade Teacher (via a student)</div>
|You would need to use a metal or gemstone with a very high heat tolerance. You could possibly use sapphire or some sort of transparent or translucent tungsten, but the clear medium would eventually fog up and prevent you from seeing the lava. The lava would solidify after approximately a minute without some way to continuously heat it.
|{{blog|122|2014|12|18}}
|{{book|2|40}}
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|-
|[[File:Fairy Demographics.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|123|Fairy Demographics}}'''
|''"How many fairies would fly around, if each fairy is born from the first laugh of a child and fairies were immortal?"''
<div align="right">—Mira Kühn, Germany</div>
|If fairies appeared with the first laugh of a ''homo sapiens'', there would be around 100 billion fairies, and they, depending on their size, would probably be considered no more than a common pest. Because of their high population, however, they would probably be considered a major part of the ecosystems where they resided.
|{{blog|123|2015|01|01|7d late}}
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| rowspan="2" |[[File:Lunar Swimming.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|124|Lunar Swimming}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"What if there was a lake on the Moon? What would it be like to swim in it? Presuming that it is sheltered in a regular atmosphere, in some giant dome or something."''
<div align="right">—Kim Holder</div>
| rowspan="2" |It would be super-cool, given that lower gravity would increase the size of splashes and the height of jumps.
| rowspan="2" {{blog|124|2015|01|08}}
| rowspan="2" |
|{{book|20|2024|12|24|aIIBBj6KR-Y|What if we put a pool on the moon?}}
|-
|{{book|7|short-video=yes|2025|08|12|mtTbwHzhUiM|Petition to send a swimming pool to the moon!}}
|-
|[[File:Bowling Ball 2.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|125|Bowling Ball}}'''
|''"You are in a boat directly over the Mariana Trench. If you drop a 7kg bowling ball over the side, how long would it take to hit the bottom?"''
<div align="right">—Doug Carter</div>
|It would take two hours and 20 minutes.
|{{blog|125|2015|01|15}}
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|[[File:Stairs (What If?).png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|126|Stairs}}'''
|''"If you made an elevator that would go to space (like the one you mentioned in the '''{{what if|94|billion-story building}}''') and built a staircase up (assuming regulated air pressure) about how long would it take to climb to the top?"''
<div align="right">—Ethan Annas</div>
|It would take about half a day by motorcycle, or a week or two for a professional stair-climber. If going on foot, you'd also need to carry a huge backpack stuffed with nothing but sticks of butter in order to get your daily caloric intake (including the energy expended from climbing the stairs).
|{{blog|126|2015|01|22}}
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|[[File:Tug of War.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|127|Tug of War}}'''
|''"Would it be possible for two teams in a tug-o-war to overcome the ultimate tensile strength of an iron rod and pull it apart? How big would the teams have to be?"''
<div align="right">—Markus Andersen</div>
|Two teams of 25 people each would be able to rip a half-inch iron bar apart: tug-o-war is a very dangerous game, as there's so much force being exerted on the rope. The theoretical upper limit of a game is 100,000 players each, pulling a 200-mile–long rope made of graphite ribbons.
|{{blog|127|2015|01|28|1d early}}
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|[[File:Zippo Phone.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|128|Zippo Phone}}'''
|''"What in my pocket actually contains more energy, my Zippo or my smartphone? What would be the best way of getting the energy from one to the other? And since I am already feeling like Bilbo in this one, is there anything else in my pocket that would have unexpected amounts of stored energy?"''
<div align="right">—Ian Cummings</div>
|The Zippo has more energy than your phone battery, but your hand would have even more, when burned as fuel.
|{{blog|128|2015|02|05|1d late}}
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|[[File:Black Hole Moon.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|129|Black Hole Moon}}'''
|''"What would happen if the Moon were replaced with an equivalently-massed black hole? If it's possible, what would a lunar ("holar"?) eclipse look like?"''
<div align="right">—Matt</div>
|Not much would change. A black hole of the Moon's mass would be the size of a sand grain, but gravitational effects would still be more or less the same here on Earth. There would be no moonlight, which would make the Earth a bit colder and mess with some nocturnal animals. You wouldn't see any lunar eclipses due to the tiny size of the Moon. It would only cause significant problems if humans were on the moon at the time.
|{{blog|129|2015|02|12}}
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|{{book|28|2025|07|08|UQgw50GQu1A|What if the moon turned into a black hole?}}
|-
|[[File:Snow Removal.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|130|Snow Removal}}'''
|''"I've long thought about putting a flamethrower on the front of a car to melt snow and ice before you drive across it. Now I've realized that a flamethrower is impractical, but what about a high-powered microwave emitter?"''
<div align="right">—Matt Van Opens</div>
|The flamethrower is more practical because microwaves don't heat ice very well. The microwave beam would require the power output of three aircraft carriers, and the flamethrower would have a gas mileage of 17 feet per gallon. If you were to drive on the highway for an hour using this method, it would burn 18,635 gallons of gasoline, worth $40,000 to $50,000.
|{{blog|130|2015|02|19}}
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|{{book|26|2025|05|27|WYf9-xfm6t8|What if you used a flamethrower as a snowblower?}}
|-
|[[File:Microwaves.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|131|Microwaves}}'''
|''"I have had a particular problem for as long as I can remember. Any time I attempt to heat left over Chinese food in a microwave, it fails to heat completely through somewhere. Usually the center but not always and usually rice, but often it will be a small section of meat. It's baffling and has made me automatically adjust heating times to over 2 minutes. In most cases this tends to heat the bowl or plate more than the food. So I suppose the question is what is the optimal time to heat left over Chinese food in the microwave, how about an 800 watt microwave?"''
<div align="right">—James</div>
|The first cause of this issue is that the wave pattern of microwaves create 'dead spots' where the food isn't heated. Secondly, melted ice causes some parts to cook while the rest is still defrosting. Use a lower power level, stir your food partway through microwaving, and let it sit for a few minutes before you eat it. This allows the heat to spread evenly.
|{{blog|131|2015|02|27|1d late}}
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|[[File:Hotter than Average.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|132|Hotter than Average}}'''
|''"I saw a sign at a hot springs tub saying "Caution: Water is hotter than average" with water at about 39°C. Although they were presumably trying to say "hotter than the average swimming pool," this got me wondering: What is the average temperature of all water on the Earth’s surface, and how does that temperature compare to 39°C?"''
<div align="right">—Graham Ward</div>
|The water average is the year-round average air temperature. By saying the water is "hotter than average", they're implying the water in the pool is not tied to it. Give the signmakers some credit.
|{{blog|132|2015|03|07|1d late}}
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|[[File:Flagpole.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|133|Flagpole}}'''
|''"So, you're falling from a height above the tallest building in your town, and you don't have a parachute. But wait! Partway down the side of that skyscraper there's a flagpole sticking out, sans flag! You angle your descent and grab the pole just long enough to swing around so that when you let go you're now heading back up toward the sky. As gravity slows you and brings you to a halt, you reach the top of the skyscraper, where you reach out and pull yourself to safety. What's the likelihood this could happen?"''
<div align="right">—Rex Ungericht</div>
|It would be impossible, even a gymnast's arms would be ripped off from the force.
|{{blog|133|2015|03|17|3d late}}
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|[[File:Space Burial.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|134|Space Burial}}'''
|''"I've often joked I'd like to have my remains put into orbit. Not in a "scatter my ashes" sense, but, like, "throw my naked corpse out the airlock" sense. Honestly, my main motivation is to baffle someone in the distant future, but it's an interesting scientific question: what would happen to my body in orbit over the course of years, decades or centuries?"''
<div align="right">—Tim in Fremont</div>
|Even before you were launched, your body would dry out very quickly. In low orbit, your body would fall to Earth and be burned from atmospheric re-entry. In a higher orbit, it would be destroyed from space debris. In high orbit, you could last for a few centuries. If your body was ever found it would mean there are a lot of people travelling around: making bodies pretty common.
|{{blog|134|2015|03|28|4d late}}
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|[[File:Digging Downward.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|135|Digging Downward}}'''
|''"What would happen if I dug straight down, at a speed of 1 foot per second? What would kill me first?"''
<div align="right">—Jack Kaunis</div>
|To remove all that soil, the energy required would heat up the surrounding beyond fatal levels pretty quickly. Immune to the heat, you could survive for one to two hours, as oxygen becomes toxic at depths higher than 5 kilometers.
|{{blog|135|2015|04|05|1d late}}
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|[[File:Spiders vs. the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|136|Spiders vs. the Sun}}'''
|''"Which has a greater gravitational pull on me: the Sun, or spiders? Granted, the Sun is much bigger, but it is also much further away, and as I learned in high school physics, the gravitational force is proportional to the square of the distance."''
<div align="right">—Marina Fleming</div>
|The Sun, by 13 orders of magnitude (the Sun is very big). But spiders are a lot more scary.
|{{blog|136|2015|04|12}}
|{{book|2|44}}
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|-
|[[File:New Horizons.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|137|New Horizons}}'''
|''"What if New Horizons hits my car?"''
<div align="right">—Robin Sheat</div>
| ''Note: This question was created before ''New Horizons'' passed by Pluto.'' This is extremely unlikely. The ''New Horizons'' probe is quite large, but is considered small for a spacecraft. If it crashed into your car, there would be serious consequences. However, if it did, NASA would be on the hook to replace your car, along with most of your neighbourhood, and clean up the radioactive mess.
|{{blog|137|2015|07|14|2m 25d late}}
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|[[File:Jupiter Submarine.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|138|Jupiter Submarine}}'''
|''"What if you released a submarine into Jupiter's atmosphere? Would it eventually reach a point where it would float? Could it navigate?"''
<div align="right">—KTH</div>
|No. Before it got to the point where it could float, the submarine would be crushed by the high pressure and melted by the high temperature. This is because gasses behave differently to fluids: the point where things can float is at a much higher pressure.
|{{blog|138|2015|07|28|7d late}}
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|[[File:Jupiter Descending.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|139|Jupiter Descending}}'''
|''"If you did '''{{what if|138|fall into Jupiter's atmosphere in a submarine}}''', what would it actually look like? What would you see before you melted or burned up?"''
<div align="right">—Ada Munroe</div>
|There's not a whole lot to go on here; we have some data and educated guesses about what's going inside these gas giants, but we haven't sent any probes equipped with operational cameras into a gas giant so we don't really know. A book by Michael Carroll suggests that there is a layer between the upper ammonia haze and lower ammonium hydrosulfide clouds, that could provide some good views, and if so, the view would be similar to Earth's atmosphere in that clouds and fellow submarines would fade into blue.
|{{blog|139|2015|08|04}}
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|[[File:Proton Earth, Electron Moon.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|140|Proton Earth, Electron Moon}}'''
|''"What if the Earth were made entirely of protons, and the Moon were made entirely of electrons?"''
<div align="right">—Noah Williams</div>
|There would be so much energy packed into one space that it would create a black hole as massive as the observable universe that would expand outwards at the speed of light. Because of the charge from the electrons, it would be a {{w|naked singularity}}, a black hole with infinite mass that allows light to escape.
|{{blog|140|2015|09|18|1m 7d late}}
|{{book|2|48}}
|{{book|30|2025|9|9|DiWFXv9N0Vs|What if the Moon were made entirely of electrons?}}
|-
|[[File:Sunbeam.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|141|Sunbeam}}'''
|''"What if all of the sun's output of visible light were bundled up into a laser-like beam that had a diameter of around 1m once it reaches Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Max Schäfer</div>
|According to Randall, parts of the atmosphere would be heated to millions of degrees, and the bubble of destruction would wrap around the Earth before it even reached the other side. The light reflected off the Moon would be hot enough to burn you to death. If the beam couldn't track the Earth, part of it would survive as the Earth orbited out of the way. If the beam reached another planetary system, it could heat up the surface of some distant exoplanets. However, this conclusion depends on the precise nature of the "bundling up". If this "bundling" is accomplished via passive optics such as lenses and mirrors, then the temperature (and geometry) of the incoming beam will be restricted according to all the optics principles described in "Fire from Moonlight", and under no circumstances would any part of Earth's atmosphere or surface exceed 5000 K, due to the laws of thermodynamics. If, however, the "bundling" consists of an "active" procedure of generating electricity via PV panels, and then powering actual laser emitters with it (not just "laser-like") - which doesn't sound like Max's conception - then yes, the narrow beam of essentially "infinite" temperature and consequent destruction that Randall describes could indeed occur.
|{{blog|141|2016|01|12|3m 18d late}}
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|{{book|33|2025|11|11|qu8nx1qUwEU|What if ALL the sun’s power was focused in one place?}}
|-
|[[File:Space Jetta.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|142|Space Jetta}}'''
|''"What if I tried to re-enter the atmosphere in my car? (a 2000 VW Jetta TDI). Would it do more environmental damage than it is already apparently doing?"''
<div align="right">—Casey Berg</div>
|The effect of the car's re-entry itself on the environment is going to be small, verging on negligible. The effect of ceasing its usage to burn hydrocarbon fuel for the remainder of the car's life is likely significantly greater than the re-entry, but in practice also negligible. The main non-negligible environmental effect might be from the launch mechanism that was used to get into orbit in the first place, although even this effect, at current rocket launch rates, is still tiny compared to global air travel or ground-based automobile usage.
|{{blog|142|2016|01|20|1d late}}
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|[[File:Europa Water Siphon.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|143|Europa Water Siphon}}'''
|''"What if you built a siphon from the oceans on Europa to Earth? Would it flow once it's set up? (We have an idea for selling bottled Europa water.)"''
<div align="right">—A group of Google Search SREs</div>
|No, at least not with a siphon. Siphons can only pull water upward to a height where the air pressure feeding water into one side of the siphon equals the weight of the water falling out the other side (creating negative pressure, trying to form a vacuum, which nature abhors). This effect requires a gravitational field and an atmosphere, but cannot be used to pump water above the local atmosphere, and hence out of the local gravity well, under any circumstances - including on Europa.
|{{blog|143|2016|01|26|1d early}}
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|[[File:Saliva Pool.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|144|Saliva Pool}}'''
|''"How long would it take for a single person to fill up an entire swimming pool with their own saliva?"''
<div align="right">—Mary Griffin, 9th grade</div>
|For an Olympic pool, it would take you 8,345 years. In order to finish by the present day, you'd need to start during the invention of agriculture.
|{{blog|144|2016|02|02}}
|{{book|2|53}}
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|[[File:Fire From Moonlight.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|145|Fire From Moonlight}}'''
|''"Can you use a magnifying glass and moonlight to light a fire?"''
<div align="right">—Rogier Spoor</div>
|Unfortunately, it is not possible to summarize Randall's article succinctly, because most of his explanation is completely irrelevant to the question. Randall's answer is effectively "No, and here are a set of correct principles of optics that do not support my claim." The correct answer is "Yes, just like it is possible to start a fire with sunlight reflected off anything else, because the temperature/wavelength/energy of light does not change (substantially) when it is reflected, and the temperature of visible sunlight is around 5000 to 6000 K." (The obvious assumption about the intent behind Rogier's question is that "moonlight" refers to the reflected sunlight, and not the Moon's own surface emission of longwave infrared radiation with a temperature of 300 - 400 K, which we can't see - but this should really be clarified by Rogier.)
|{{blog|145|2016|02|09}}
|{{book|2|51}}
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|[[File:Stop Jupiter.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|146|Stop Jupiter}}'''
|''"I understand that the ''New Horizons'' craft used gravity assist from Jupiter to increase its speed on the way to Pluto. I also understand that by doing this, Jupiter slowed down very slightly. How many flyby runs would it take to stop Jupiter completely?"''
<div align="right">—Dillon</div>
|Even if we were to throw Earth at Jupiter, this could never happen, because Jupiter is much more massive than Earth. Gravity assists are like bouncing a tennis ball off a train, and to stop the train, you'd need an awfully large tennis ball. 
|{{blog|146|2016|02|16}}
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|[[File:Niagara Straw.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|147|Niagara Straw}}'''
|''"What would happen if one tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a straw?"''
<div align="right">—David Gwizdala</div>
|In order to funnel Niagara Falls through a straw, you'd need to accelerate the water to one-quarter light speed, and no machine exists that's capable of doing that. If you somehow could do it, the resulting waterjet would have the power output of a small star, and would boil away the oceans and wipe out all life on Earth.
|{{blog|147|2016|02|26}} 3d late)
|{{book|2|55}}
|{{book|27|2025|06|17|pfbzrrcQZjs|What if you funneled Niagara Falls through a straw?}}
|-
|[[File:Eat the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|148|Eat the Sun}}'''
|''"What percentage of the Sun's heat (per day) does the population of Earth eat in calories per year? What changes could be made to our diets for the amount of calories to equal the energy of the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—James Mitchell</div>
|0.000000000065%. This is such a ridiculously small portion of the Sun's heat exhaust, that we cannot increase our personal calory intake enough to compensate. Instead we need to add more persons. A lot of them in fact. So many that we need to spread them - and the food that they eat - out throughout not just our galaxy but multiple galaxies. Otherwise, the food alone would be massive enough to turn into a black hole.
|{{blog|148|2016|03|12|8d late}}
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|[[File:Pizza Bird.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|149|Pizza Bird}}'''
|''"My boyfriend recently took a flight on a plane with wifi, and while he was up there, wistfully asked if I could send him a pizza. I jokingly sent him a photo of a parrot holding a pizza slice in its beak. Obviously, my boyfriend had to go without pizza until he landed at JFK. But this raised the question: could a bird deliver a standard 20" New York-style cheese pizza in a box? And if so, what kind of bird would it take?"''
<div align="right">—Tina Nguyen</div>
|After careful analysis of wing types, relative weights, and pizza grabbing mechanisms, it is deduced that even the most compatible bird - the eagle - would be hard-pressed to deliver a pizza to an airliner, the relative speed being the largest hurdle. However, delivery to a house - where the relative speed is not so much of a problem - would be possible, though the pizza might be found a slice or two short.
|{{blog|149|2016|03|26|7d late}}
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|[[File:Tatooine Rainbow.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|150|Tatooine Rainbow}}'''
|''"Since rainbows are caused by the refraction of the sunlight by tiny droplets of rainwater, what would rainbow look like on Earth if we had two suns like Tatooine?"''
<div align="right">—Raga</div>
|Each sun is the source of not just one rainbow, but a whole series of rainbows of diminishing intensity; the elusive 5th order rainbow had apparently been pictured at the time of publication. A planet with two suns would consequently have two series of rainbows. A solar system arranged like Tatooine would have to be circumbinary, which limits the separation of the two rainbow series to about 20 degrees. As the main rainbow is 84 degrees across, this leads to the conclusion that the rainbows would always be overlapping.
|{{blog|150|2016|05|23|1m 21d late}}
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|[[File:Sun Bug.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|151|Sun Bug}}'''
|''"How many fireflies would it take to match the brightness of the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—Luke Doty</div>
|30 nonillion fireflies (3 with 31 zeroes after it), which is surprisingly small on the astronomical scale. Counterintuitively, it turns out a single firefly actually glows brighter than an equivalent mass of Sun. However, there are logistical problems with organizing that many fireflies, as you need to arrange them so that they're not blocking each others' lights. You can try to simplify it by just using one very large firefly, but it would be larger than the entire Solar System and immediately collapse into the biggest black hole in the universe.
|{{blog|151|2016|07|21|1m 23d late}}
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|[[File:Flood Death Valley.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|152|Flood Death Valley}}'''
|''"Since Death Valley is below sea level could we dig a hole to the ocean and fill it up with water?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Traeden</div>
|Basically, yes. But there is a lot of digging, and the end result would be quite similar to the Salton Sea which is characterized as "gross" (technical term). Also, heat world records would likely move elsewhere.
|{{blog|152|2016|10|18|2m 21d late}}
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|''The thumbnail for this blog article wasn't archived.''
|'''<span class="plainlinks">[https://web.archive.org/web/20161205191559/http://what-if.xkcd.com/153 Peptides]</span>'''
|''"What is the longest English word you can spell using the one letter abbreviations of the 20 genetic amino acids? What about the three letter abbreviations? What would the resultant peptides look like?"''
<div align="right">—Kira (Lysine-Isoleucine-Arginine-Alanine) Guth</div>
|For any peptides, 19 letters is the highest possible, that being the word "interdepartmentally". For naturally existing peptides in the human body, 8 letters is the highest known. Examples of 8 letters are: GRISETTE, DATELESS, REVERSAL.
|{{blog|153|2016|12|05|notAvailable=Published by accident and deleted: [[what if? (blog)#top|learn more]]}}
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|[[File:Hide the Atmosphere.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|153|Hide the Atmosphere}}'''
|''"Earth’s atmosphere is really thin compared to the radius of the Earth. How big a hole do I need to dig before people suffocate?"''
<div align="right">—Sam Burke</div>
|The hole would need to be very big. Under the right circumstances, a five-mile hole over the entire state of Texas might suffice.
|{{blog|153|2017|01|30|3m 5d late}}
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|[[File:Coast-to-Coast Coasting.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|154|Coast-to-Coast Coasting}}'''
|''"What if the entire continental US was on a decreasing slope from West to East. How steep would the slope have to be to sustain the momentum needed to ride a bicycle the entire distance without pedaling?"''
<div align="right">—Brandon Rooks</div>
|The ramp would need to be five miles high (eight kilometres) to make this possible, and that would be at a speed slower than walking. You would also need oxygen for the first third of the way down.
|{{blog|154|2017|02|08|9d late}}
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|[[File:Toaster vs. Freezer.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|155|Toaster vs. Freezer}}'''
|''"Would a toaster still work in a freezer?"''
<div align="right">—<span class="plainlinks">[https://maximumfun.org/podcasts/my-brother-my-brother-and-me/ '''My Brother, My Brother, and Me'''], [https://maximumfun.org/episodes/my-brother-my-brother-and-me/mbmbam-343-sauce-doctors-blessing/ '''Episode 343'''], discussing a </span>Yahoo Answers question</div>
|As a superior being, the Toaster casts its gaze upon lowly humans and hrumphs at their bickering about such measly temperature variations as 40C. The Toaster regularly reaches 600C and thus, to it - much like to the Fire - everything else is cold, be it room temperature or freezer temperature. Winnipeg locals have it easy and can try this for themselves, as long as they can stave off the wolves.
|{{blog|155|2017|02|28|13d late}}
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|[[File:Electrofishing for Whales.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|156|Electrofishing for Whales}}'''
|''"I used to work on a fisheries crew where we would use an electro-fisher backpack to momentarily stun small fish (30 - 100 mm length) so we could scoop them up with nets to identify and measure them. The larger fish tended to be stunned for slightly longer because of their larger surface area but I don't imagine this relationship would be maintained for very large animals. Could you electrofish for a blue whale? At what voltage would you have have to set the e-fisher?"''
<div align="right">—Madeline Cooper</div>
|Electrofishing has long-term effects on fish and especially dolphins. Larger animals, especially mammals, are likely to die rather than just get stunned. But it is also harder to get any effect in saltwater, which explains why electrofishing is mainly done in rivers and lakes, compared to fresh water. This means it wouldn't work on blue whales.
|{{blog|156|2017|03|09|2d late}}
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|[[File:Earth-Moon Fire Pole.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|157|Earth-Moon Fire Pole}}'''
|''"My son (5y) asked me today: If there were a kind of a fireman's pole from the Moon down to the Earth, how long would it take to slide all the way from the Moon to the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Ramon Schönborn, Germany</div>
|This set-up would face many challenges, but these would be the different domains of the slowest extreme sport: climbing out of the Moon's gravity, accelerating through the middle transfer phase, and then decelerating to your supersonic arrival on Earth.
|{{blog|157|2018|03|21|1y 2m 5d late}}
|{{book|2|58}}
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|-
|[[File:Hot Banana.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|158|Hot Banana}}'''
|''"I heard that bananas are radioactive. If they are radioactive, then they radiate energy. How many bananas would you need to power a house?"''
<div align="right">—Kang Ji</div>
|Bananas are not very radioactive, so it would take an absurdly large number. However, gathering that many bananas in one place would have negative consequences. New York no longer exists.
|{{blog|158|2022|05|04|3y 11m 7d late}}
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|[[File:Hailstones.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|159|Hailstones}}'''
|''"My 4 year old son and I were wondering about soccer ball sized hail today. How much damage would a hail storm with size 5 soccer ball sized hail do?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Grill</div>
|Hailstones get increasingly dangerous as they get larger, as their increased weight cancels their air resistance, allowing them to reach a higher terminal velocity while still carrying all that mass. Regular hailstones are too slow and light to be lethal, but a soccer ball-sized hailstone would hit at around 140 mph, capable of punching straight through the roof of a car or building. Fortunately, no hailstone on record has ever been that big, although storms can on occasion produce hailstones large enough to damage cars, and in rare cases even kill people.
|{{blog|159|2022|07|05|1m 30d late}}
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|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{What If|160|Transatlantic Car Rental}}'''
|''"My daughter recently received her driver's permit in the US, and aspires to visit mainland Europe someday. She has learned enough about the rules of the road to know never to drive into the ocean; however, she jokingly suggested that given a sufficient quantity of rental cars, she could eventually get to Europe by driving east repeatedly. The question is, how many vehicles would it take to build a car-bridge across the Atlantic?"''
<div align="right">—Eric Munson</div>
|You'd need approximately a billion plus a trillion cars to pull this off. Also, in addition to destroying global ocean circulation and creating an illegal naval blockade, this is definitely a violation of her rental car agreement. Also, organizing a fleet of that many rental cars would be difficult.
|{{blog|160|2022|09|06|1m 26d late}}
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|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{What If|161|Star Ownership}}'''
|''"If every country's airspace extended up forever, which country would own the largest percentage of the galaxy at any given time?"''
<div align="right">—Reuven Lazarus</div>
|Given that the South pole (of Earth) points towards the Milky way centre, most of the galaxy will wind up in the air-space (space-space?) of countries of the southern hemisphere. However, due to Earth's rotation around its axis, the nadir of the galaxy core (on Earth) will constantly shift. Given that Australia is the largest of the southern countries, Australia will most often be the Rulers of the Universe. Northern hemisphere jurisdictions, such as New Jersey, will have to contend with some pretty nifty black holes and possibly murderous exoplanets.
|{{blog|161|2022|11|01|1m 19d late}}
|{{book|2|24}}
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|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{What If|162|Comet Ice}}'''
|''"Could I cool down the Earth by capturing a comet and dropping it in the ocean, like an ice cube in a glass of water?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Becker</div>
|Only if you had a magical sky-crane that could cancel the comet's initial kinetic energy during capture, then slowly lower it to the ground without converting all of its gravitational potential energy back into more kinetic energy. Converting that potential energy into electricity to substitute for existing fossil fuel power plants would reduce CO2 emissions, but the effect of that substitution on global temperatures is uncertain and likely negligible. Meanwhile, the amount of ice in a comet that could be used to cool the oceans directly is also less than one would expect from its size, since comets are not solid. Overall, the answer is effectively "no".
|{{blog|162|2022|12|06|29d late}}
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| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Global Windstorm'''
| rowspan="3" |''"What would happen if the Earth and all terrestrial objects suddenly stopped spinning, but the atmosphere retained its velocity?"''
<div align="right">—Andrew Brown</div>
| rowspan="3" |Everyone would die. Then, the wind would destroy everything, with gusts blowing more than 1,000 mph (1,600 km/h) around the equator, killing 85% of the world population. The highest winds would only last a few minutes, but that would be enough to vaporise most human structures. Bunkers would be useless, because, even if your bunker were stuck to the ground hard, others would not be as strong and would hit yours at 1,000 mph. However, most of the researchers at the {{w|Amundsen–Scott South Pole Station}} would be completely fine. The wind blast would then become a heat blast with scorching temperatures and create global thunderstorms in moist areas. After a while, the Earth would gradually start to regain its rotational velocity thanks to the Moon.
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" {{book|1|1}}
|{{book|4|2024|01|09|gp5G1QG6cXc|What if Earth suddenly stopped spinning?}}
|-
|{{book|12|short-video=yes|2025|10|07|19gun1mffWs|What would happen to the population if the Earth suddenly stopped spinning?}}
|-
|{{book|13|short-video=yes|2025|10|14|ERieN5pee7A|What would happen to the Earth if it suddenly stopped spinning?}}
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #1'''
| colspan="2" |''"Would it be possible to get your teeth to such a cold temperature that they would shatter upon drinking a hot cup of coffee?"''
<div align="right">—Shelby Hebert</div>
<div align="right"></div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|4}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"How many houses are burned down in the United States every year? What would be the easiest way to increase that number by a significant amount (say, at least 15%)?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
|
|'''New York–Style Time Machine'''
|''"I assume when you travel back in time you end up at the same spot on the Earth’s surface. At least, that’s how it worked in the Back to the Future movies. If so, what would it be like if you traveled back in time, starting in Times Square, New York, 1000 years? 10,000 years? 100,000 years? 1,000,000 years? 1,000,000,000 years? What about foward in time 1,000,000 years?"''
<div align="right">—Mark Dettling</div>
|
*1,000 years back, you'd see many chestnut trees, wolves, and passenger pigeons.
*10,000 years back, the ground would be mostly bedrock, with large chunks of ice and dropped boulders, called glacial erratics.
*100,000 years back, several islands were pushed upwards by the ice. You would see many now-extinct species, such as Canis dirus, Smilodon fatalis, and Arctodus.
*1,000,000 years back, you'd see relatives of hyenas called Chasmaporthetes.
*1,000,000,000 years back would be no plants or animals, only single-celled organisms in the ocean.
|
|{{book|1|5}}
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|-
|
|'''Periodic Wall of the Elements'''
|''"What would happen if you made a periodic table out of cube-shaped bricks, where each brick was made of the corresponding element?"''
<div align="right">—Andy Connolly</div>
|The top two rows wouldn't be too dangerous to build, but the rest of the periodic table would seriously injure or kill you. In the sixth row, elements with short half-lives would destroy the room you were in as well as causing nuclear fallout to fall nearby. Past the sixth row, the entire city you were in would be destroyed.
|
|{{book|1|8}}
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|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #2'''
| colspan="2" |''"Would dumping anti-matter into the Chernobyl reactor when it was melting down stop the meltdown?"''
<div align="right">—AJ</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|12}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"Is it possible to cry so much you dehydrate yourself?"''<div align="right">—Karl Wildermuth</div>
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''The Last Human Light'''
| rowspan="2" |''"If every human somehow simply disappeared from the face of the Earth, how long would it be before the last artificial light source would go out?"''
<div align="right">—Alan</div>
| rowspan="2" |Radioactive waste that was mixed with glass will glow for centuries.
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|13}}
|{{book|11|2024|05|28|8fADp43wJwU|If all humans died, when would the last light go out?}}
|-
|{{book|5|short-video=yes|2025|07|29|kNry0bf7eC0|Could this be the last surviving human light source?}}
|-
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #3'''
| colspan="2" |''"Given humanity’s current knowledge and capabilities, is it possible to build a new star?"''
<div align="right">—Jeff Gordon</div>
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|16}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"What sort of logistic anomalies would you encounter in trying to raise an army of apes?"''<div align="right">—Kevin</div>
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If people had wheels and could fly, how would we differentiate them from airplanes?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Orbital Submarine'''
| rowspan="2" |''"How long would a nuclear submarine last in orbit?"''
<div align="right">—Jason Lathbury</div>
| rowspan="2" |Submarines are, unsurprisingly, very good at being watertight. This would mean that, mostly, air would stay within the submarine for a time. However, a nuclear submarine is able to stay under for so long because it can convert seawater into oxygen. With no seawater, no oxygen is made, which means that eventually they will run out of air. Getting back into the atmosphere would be tricky. Firing all of a submarine's missiles backwards (i.e. towards the ship) with their detonators removed would produce just enough force for the sub to deorbit and reenter the atmosphere. At that point, the heat and forces of reentry would rip the submarine apart, similar to the {{w|Space Shuttle Challenger disaster}}.
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|17}}
|{{book|7|2024|03|05|EsUBRd1O2dU|Would a Submarine Work as a Spaceship?}}
|-
|{{book|4|short-video=yes|2025|07|22|sFTRRdHqZIQ|Why Space Is Actually Warm!}}
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #4'''
| colspan="2" |''"Would it be possible to stop a volcano eruption by placing a bomb (thermobaric or nuclear) underneath the surface?"''
<div align="right">—Tomasz Gruszka</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|20}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"A friend of mine is convinced that there is sound in space. There isn’t, right?"''<div align="right">—Aaron Smith</div>
|-
|
|'''Human Computer'''
|''"How much computing power could we achieve if the entire world population stopped whatever we are doing right now and started doing calculations? How would it compare to a modern-day computer or smartphone?"''
<div align="right">—Mateusz Knorps</div>
|The combined computing power of all devices surpassed the power of all humans in 1977.
|
|{{book|1|21}}
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|-
|
|'''Common Cold'''
|''"If everyone on the planet stayed away from each other for a couple of weeks, wouldn't the common cold virus be wiped out?"''
<div align="right">—Sarah Ewart</div>
|In theory, this would work. In practice, it wouldn't for a simple reason: Some people have compromised immune systems. These people's bodies can be a safe haven for rhinoviruses, which would mean the common cold, would quickly spread through the population again. The world's food supplies would also be an issue, as people may need to eat foods not designed to be eaten directly (i.e. raw grain). Many systems would shut down as people wouldn't be there to maintain them. Many millions would be stranded in places like Antarctica or the Sahara Desert, which would lead to many deaths. In effect, the scenario would be similar to 'Everybody Jump'.
|
|{{book|1|25}}
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|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #5'''
| colspan="2" |''" If global warming puts us in danger through temperature rise, and super-volcanos put us into danger of global cooling, shouldn’t those two dangers balance each other out?"''
<div align="right">—Florian Seidl-Schulz</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|27}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"How fast would a human have to run in order to be cut in half at the bellybutton by a cheese-cutting wire?"''<div align="right">—Jon Merrill</div>
|-
|
|'''No More DNA'''
|''"This may be a bit gruesome, but... if someone's DNA suddenly vanished, how long would that person last?"''
<div align="right">—Nina Charest</div>
|You could live for several hours or days before succumbing to infection or systemwide organ failure.
|
|{{book|1|29}}
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|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #6'''
| colspan="2" |''"What is the total nutritional value (calories, fat, vitamins, minerals, etc.) of the average human body?"''
<div align="right">—Justin Risner</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|31}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"What temperature would a chainsaw (or other cutting implement) need to be at to instantly cauterize any injuries inflicted with it?"''<div align="right">—Sylvia Gallagher</div>
|-
|
|'''Flyover States'''
|''"Which US state is actually flown over the most?"''
<div align="right">—Jesse Ruderman</div>
|Somewhat surprisingly,Virgina, due to a large amount of flights from Toronto to the Carribbean/South America. Despite it having many major airports, inlcluding most of those serving DC, there are also many major airports which have routes passing over Virginia, such as KATL and KJFK.
|
|{{book|1|33}}
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|-
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #7'''
| colspan="2" |''"In Thor the main character is at one point spinning his hammer so fast that he creates a strong tornado. Would this be possible in real life?"''
<div align="right">—Davor</div>
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|36}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If you saved a whole life’s worth of kissing and used all that suction power on one single kiss, how much suction force would that single kiss have?"''<div align="right">—Jonatan Lindström</div>
|-
| colspan="2" |''"How many nuclear missiles would have to be launched at the United States to turn it into a complete wasteland?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
|
|'''Self-Fertilization'''
|''"I read about some researchers who were trying to produce sperm from bone marrow stem cells. If a woman were to have sperm cells made from her own stem cells and impregnate herself, what would be her relationship to her daughter?"''
<div align="right">—R Scott LaMorte</div>
|As the child is coming from, effectively, two parents with identical DNA, there would be many genetic defects, similar to being inbred. As there is no father to contribute a Y chromosome, the child is guaranteed to be a girl.
|
|{{book|1|37}}
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|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #8'''
| colspan="2" |''"A toxin blocks the ability of the nephron tubule reabsorption but does not affect filtration. What are the possible short-term effects of this toxin?"''
<div align="right">—Mary</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|40}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If a Venus fly trap could eat a person, about how long would it take for the human to be fully de-juiced and absorbed?"''<div align="right">—Jonathan Wang</div>
|-
|
|'''Lost Immortals'''
|''"If two immortal people were placed on opposite sides of an uninhabited Earthlike planet, how long would it take them to find each other? 100,000 years? 1,000,000 years? 100,000,000,000 years?"''
<div align="right">—Ethan Lake</div>
|Depending on strategy and terrain, a few years to a few decades.
|
|{{book|1|42}}
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|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #9'''
| colspan="2" |''"Could you survive a tidal wave by submerging yourself in an in-ground pool?"''
<div align="right">—Chris Muska</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|46}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If you are in free fall and your parachute fails, but you have a Slinky with extremely convenient mass, tension, etc., would it be''
possible to save yourself by throwing the Slinky upward while holding on to one end of it?"<div align="right">—Varadarajan Srinivasan</div>
|-
|
|'''Sparta'''
|''"In the movie 300 they shoot arrows up into the sky and they seemingly blot out the sun. Is this possible, and how many arrows would it take?"''
<div align="right">—Anna Newell</div>
|300 arrows per second with densely packed archers could blot out 99% of the Sun's light. If the Sun were low in the horizon, you could more effectively block sunlight with less arrows. However, this would have little to no effect on the opponent, unless it required solar panels.
|
|{{book|1|47}}
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|-
|
|'''Lego Bridge'''
|''"How many Lego bricks would it take to build a bridge capable of carrying traffic from London to New York? Have that many Lego bricks been manufactured?"''
<div align="right">—Jerry Petersen</div>
|Enough bricks have been manufactured to connect London and New York, but the bridge would not be structurally sound enough to stay together for very long.
|
|{{book|1|51}}
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|-
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #10'''
| colspan="2" |''"What is the probability that if I am stabbed by a knife in my torso that it won’t hit anything vital and I’ll live?"''
<div align="right">—Thomas</div>
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|54}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If I were on a motorbike and do a jump off a quarter pipe ramp, how fast would I need to be moving to safely deploy and land using the parachute?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
| colspan="2" |''"What if every day, every human had a 1 percent chance of being turned into a turkey, and every turkey had a 1 percent chance of''
being turned into a human?"<div align="right">—Kenneth</div>
|-
|
|'''Weightless Arrow'''
|''"Assuming a zero-gravity environment with an atmosphere identical to Earth's, how long would it take the friction of air to stop an arrow fired from a bow? Would it eventually come to a standstill and hover in midair?"''
<div align="right">—Mark Estano</div>
|It would stop at about 5 to 10 kilometers.
|
|{{book|1|56}}
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|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''All the Lightning'''
| rowspan="2" |''"If all the lightning strikes happening in the world on any given day all happened in the same place at once, what would happen to that place?"''
<div align="right">—Trevor Jones</div>
| rowspan="2" |It would create a crater the size of a basketball court.
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|62}}
|{{book|10|2024|05|07|fs28lEq9smw|What if all the lightning on Earth struck the same place at once?}}
|-
|{{book|3|short-video=yes|2025|07|15|_efsqO-4OoQ|Could We Harvest Power From Lightning?}}
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #11'''
| colspan="2" |''"What if everyone in Great Britain went to one of the coasts and started paddling? Could they move the island at all?"''
<div align="right">—Ellen Eubanks</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|64}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"Are fire tornadoes possible?"''<div align="right">—Seth Wishman</div>
|-
|
|'''Neutron Bullet'''
|''"If a bullet with the density of a neutron star were fired from a handgun (ignoring the how) at the Earth's surface, would the Earth be destroyed?"''
<div align="right">—Charlotte Ainsworth</div>
|No. The bullet would fall through the ground and stop in the center of the Earth.
|
|{{book|1|67}}
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|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #12'''
| colspan="2" |''"What if I swallow a tick that has Lyme disease? Will my stomach acid kill the tick and the borreliosis, or would I get Lyme disease from the inside out?"''
<div align="right">—Christopher Vogel</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|68}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"Assuming a relatively uniform resonant frequency in a passenger jet, how many cats, meowing at what resonant frequency of said jet, would be required to "bring it down"?"<div align="right">—Brittany</div>
|-
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Richter 15'''
| rowspan="3" |''"What if a Richter magnitude 15 earthquake were to hit America at, let's say, New York City? What about a Richter 20? 25?"''
<div align="right">—Alec Farid</div>
| rowspan="3" |A magnitude 15 earthquake would destroy the Earth, but going higher won't make much difference. You can actually go lower than 0, though.
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" {{book|1|69}}
|{{book|2|2023|12|05|e3uk7jU3RHo|What would a magnitude 15 earthquake be like?}}
|-
|{{book|1|short-video=yes|2025|06|24|wBLVmEZV2Oc|How high could the magnitude of Earthquakes go?}}
|-
|{{book|2|short-video=yes|2025|07|01|FKXVs4UteSc|Is there such a thing as a magnitude 0 earthquake?}}
|-
|
|'''Soupiter'''
|''"What would happen if the Solar System was filled with soup out to Jupiter?"''
<div align="right">—Amelia</div>
|The soup would collapse into a very large black hole and devour the Milky Way, though we would feel mostly fine for the first 10 to 15 minutes.
|
|{{book|2|1}}
|
|-
|
|'''Helicopter Ride'''
|''"What if you were hanging on a helicopter blade by your hands and then someone turned it on?"''
<div align="right">—Corban Blanset</div>
|Without any grip assistance, you'd fall off before it completed its first revolution. With handholds, your body would instead fall off of your arms. Assuming no issues with staying on the wing, there would be more problems to follow. The helicopter, as it spooled up, would begin violently wobbling due to the constantly changing center of gravity before flipping itself, destroying both you and the pilot in a massive fireball.
|
|{{book|2|2}}
|
|-
|
|'''Dangerously Cold'''
|''"Would there be any danger from standing next to a large object that was 0 Kelvin?"''
<div align="right">—Christopher</div>
|There wouldn't be a lot of direct danger from the cube itself, though it would make you feel cold. The bigger danger would be from liquid oxygen condensing and igniting flammable objects. It would take a while to reheat the cube
|
|{{book|2|3}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ironic Vaporization'''
|''"What if we somehow evaporated a solid block of iron on {{asic|ear|th''}}''?"''
<div align="right">—Cooper C.</div>
|The cube would ignite whatever is near it and deposit large quantities of iron flakes downwind. However, it wouldn't make a huge impact on the total amount of atmospheric iron.
|
|{{book|2|4}}
|
|-
|
|'''Cosmic Road Trip'''
|''"If the universe stopped expanding right now, how long would it take for a human to drive a car all the way to the edge of the universe?"''
<div align="right">—Sam H-H</div>
|First off, a human can't do this. Assuming a normal crash rate, an average human driver wouldn't make it past Mars without crashing. Even truck drivers, a field where the crash rate is much lower, wouldn't make it past Jupiter. Using a self-driving car, however, would negate this. It would take an incredibly long time, on the order of approximately 480 quadrillion years if you're driving at a steady pace of 65 miles per hour. Assuming you want to keep your car functional, you would go through 30 quintillion oil changes. Assuming a reasonable 33 MPG highway mileage, the amount of gasoline needed would be similar to the Moon in size. You would also need 10^17 tons of snacks. Entertainment would be another issue. If every person who has ever lived had 150 friends/acquaintances, listening to a real-time podcast of someone's life, all from the perspective of a different friend/acquaintance, you would need to re-watch them all 150 times to make it to the edge of the observable universe. Once you get there, there would be no Earth to come back to.
|
|{{book|2|5}}
|
|-
|
|'''Pigeon Chair'''
|''"How many pigeons would it require in order to lift the average person and launch a chair to the height of Australia's Q1 skyscraper?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Evans</div>
|The optimal method for using the least amount of pigeons would be to use a multi-stage system of sorts. A group of pigeons would lift you about 10 feet, before dropping you as another group swoops in to take their place. However, even with this system, the number of pigeons would be large enough that the Earth would be pulled into the pigeons by gravity instead of the other way around. In other words, if you want to get to the top of Australia's Q1 skyscraper, use an elevator.
|
|{{book|2|6}}
|
|-
|rowspan="11"|
|rowspan="11"|'''Short Answers #1'''
|''"What if your blood became liquid uranium? Would you die from radiation, lack of oxygen, or something else?"''
<div align="right">—Thomas Chattaway</div>
|You would die Having-no-Blood-and-Being-Full-of-Molten-Uranium Syndrome. Also known as Jeff's Disease.
|rowspan="11"|
|rowspan="11"{{book|2|6.5}} (S1)
|rowspan="11"|
|-
|''"Could someone have an anime-style attack where they created a sword out of air? I'm not talking about an air blade, but something like cooling the air enough so that you had solid air to attack people."''
<div align="right">—Emma</div>
|Theoretically yes, but it would be extremely impractical. The temperature to turn oxygen solid is very low, and even with proper insulation it would still cause frostbite. It would also be very weak and very soft, and would sublimate quickly, basically making it useless for all intents and purposes, except for PR.
|-
|''"How much water do you have to drink to become 99 percent water?"''
<div align="right">—LyraxH</div>
|About 500 gallons of water.
|-
|''"What would we see if we attached a lightweight camera to a balloon and let it fly away?"''
<div align="right">—Raymond Peng</div>
|We would see a balloon slowly flying away, fading into the sky. It would be quite pretty. Though next time we should probably attach a transmitter.
|-
|''"How many calories does Mario burn a day?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel and Xavier Hovley</div>
|Mario starved to death in late 1985.
|-
|''"If a snake unhinged its jaw and swallowed a balloon whole, could/would the balloon carry the snake up?"''
<div align="right">—Freezachu</div>
|No.
|-
|''"If you were to jump out of an airplane that was traveling at Mach 880980 that was 100,00 feet above ground in New York City, with skydiving gear, could you survive?"''
<div align="right">—Jack Catten</div>
|rowspan="2"|No, you would die.
|-
|''"If there was no water on Earth, would we all live?"''
<div align="right">—Karen</div>
|-
|''"Is it possible to make a homemade jetpack?"''
<div align="right">—Azhari Zadil</div>
|It's very easy to make one that works once; much harder to make it work more.
|-
|''"I was wondering whether there's a way to use my welder as a defibrillator? (The specific model I own is an Impax IM-ARC140 arc welder.)"''
<div align="right">—Łukasz Grabowski</div>
|No, and you probably shouldn't be allowed to use it as an arc welder either.
|-
|''"What if all atoms on Earth were expanded to the size of a grape? Would we survive?
|I don't know how to answer this with science, but now I want grapes.
|-
|
|'''Geyser'''
|''"If one were to stand on top of the Old Faithful geyser in Yellowstone National Park, at what speed would they be launched upwards and what injuries would they likely sustain?"''
<div align="right">—Catherine McGrath</div>
|If you positioned yourself in just the right way, and used an umbrella to catch as much lift as possible, you could be launched hundreds of feet in the air. Unsurprisingly, you'd receive severe burns and almost certainly die. Surprisingly, however, you would be far from the first person to get severe burns from the geysers.
|
|{{book|2|8}}
|
|-
|
|'''Pew, Pew, Pew'''
|''"If you shot a ridiculously powerful gun/{{asic|la|zer''}}'' would it go off the edge of the world in a straight line or curve around the world?"''
<div align="right">—Maelor</div>
|The beam would go off the edge of the world, except under certain circumstances.
|
|{{book|2|9}}
|
|-
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"|'''Weird & Worrying #1'''
|colspan="2"|''"Can bees or other animals go to hell? Or can they murder other bees without consequences?"''
<div align="right">—Sadie Kim</div>
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"{{book|2|10.5}} (W1)
|rowspan="4"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"How many mirrors reflecting (sun)light would it take to kill, or at least, injure somebody?"''
<div align="right">—Eli Collinge</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If you had to remove the tonsils of a giant, what would be the safest way for you to do it? The surgeon is a normal human."''
<div align="right">—Tirzah</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"What would it take to defeat Air Force One with a drone???"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
|
|'''Banana Church'''
|''"Can all the world's bananas fit inside of all of the world's churches? My friends have had this argument for a little over 10 years now."''
<div align="right">—Jonas</div>
|<big><big>{{notice2|'''Most of these are too short!'''}}</big></big> <big><big>{{notice|'''If you own the second book, please help us by explaining more!'''}}</big></big> Yes. They would likely only fill the churches to 6 inches deep. For the bananas to be unable to fit, each person would need to eat a 1 foot by 1 foot by 2 meter crate's worth of bananas per year.
|
|{{book|2|11}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lose Weight the Slow and Incredibly Difficult Way'''
|''"I want to lose 20 pounds. How much of the Earth's mass would I have to "relocate" to space in order to achieve my goal?"''
<div align="right">—Ryan Murphy</div>
|You would have to remove 85% of the Earth's mass. However, due to the increase in density in the mantle, you would actually gain weight until you've removed about half the Earth's diameter. An image of what it would look like is shown in [[2575: What If? 2]], where a potato peeler is used to remove the crust of the Earth.
|
|{{book|2|13}}
|
|-
|
|'''Jupiter Comes to Town'''
|''"Dear Randall, what would happen if you shrunk Jupiter down to the size of a house and placed in a neighborhood, say, replacing a house?"''
<div align="right">—Zachary</div>
|Assuming density stayed the same when you shrunk Jupiter down, the biggest issue would be that the gravity that keeps its hot interior together would no longer exist, essentially creating a giant fireball that would turn into a mushroom cloud, and eventually spread out into a big cool cloud. This would, effectively, be the reverse of the formation of Jupiter, which started as clouds before being compressed into a small hot ball.
|
|{{book|2|15}}
|
|-
|
|'''Swing Set'''
|''"How tall can a swing set be while still being powered by a human pumping their legs? Is it possible to build a swing set tall enough to launch the rider into space if they jump at the right time? (Assuming the human has enough energy, which my 5-year-old seems to have.)"''
<div align="right">—Joe Coyle</div>
|This is impossible due to the fact that, by pumping the legs, you are essentially pushing against the crossbar of the swing set. A string which is too long will result in a very low amount of force being delivered to the crossbar, lowering the maximum angle you can swing relative to the base of the curve. Calculations show that the optimal crossbar height to gain the most angle relative to the ground is approximately 8 feet.
|
|{{book|2|17}}
|
|-
|
|'''Airliner Catapult'''
|''"My friend is a commercial airline pilot. She says that a significant amount of fuel is spent on takeoff. To save fuel, why couldn't we launch airplanes using catapult systems like on aircraft carriers (calibrated to normal human accelerations)? Could significant amounts of fossil fuels be saved if the catapults could be run by some other clean energy? I'm imagining a rope ... one end tied to the airplane, the other tied to a large boulder at the edge of a cliff. Just push the boulder off the cliff!"''
<div align="right">—Brady Barkey</div>
|It's not a completely ridiculous idea, but the most practical issue is that you'd have to extend the roughly mile-long runway several times more to take full advantage of it. Using the proposed rope-and-cliff system, you'd need to use a thousand ton weight dropped at the height of a super tall skyscraper - of course, if you used something heavier, like the 80,000-ton Washington Monument, you wouldn't need to drop it as far.
|
|{{book|2|18}}
|
|-
|rowspan="14"|
|rowspan="14"|'''Short Answers #2'''
|''"Billy the Clown is running out of cash, so in order to raise money, he devises his newest trick: He will inflate, by mouth, a standard-size party balloon until the material (some form of indestructible rubber) is just one atom thick. How large would the inflated party balloon be?"''
<div align="right">—Alan Fong</div>
|It's a total mystery why Billy is running out of cash.
|rowspan="14"|
|rowspan="14"{{book|2|18.5}} (S2)
|rowspan="14"|
|-
|''"How many leaf blowers would it take to move a standard SUV"''
<div align="right">—Ashley H.</div>
|Somewhere around 1-2 dozen leaf blowers would do the trick. However, it would be very impractical, consume a lot of fuel, and the acceleration would be very slow. Many more leaf blowers would be needed to accelerate the car at a reasonable rate.
|-
|''"If you put a vacuum at extremely high suction and aimed it at a normal BMW sedan, what would happen?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|Nothing. Cars, even small ones like sedans, are far too large and heavy to be affected by a vacuum, even a very large and powerful one.
|-
|''"On a warm summer evening, when you sit outside with a light on, you can be sure that bugs will be attracted to the light. Then why is it that these same bugs don't fly toward the biggest and strongest lamp of them all, namely the Sun, during the day?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|Those who did would die and not be able to produce offspring with the same traits.
|-
|''"If you collected all of the guns in the world and put them on one side of the Earth, then shot the all simultaneously, would it move the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Nathan</div>
|It would not move the Earth, but it would make the other side a nicer place to live.
|-
|''"What would happen if you microwaved a small microwave, while the smaller one was on as well?"''
<div align="right">—Micheal</div>
|Randall gave the meme answer of 'You would no longer be welcome in that IKEA.' In reality, this would almost certainly lead to some dire consequences. Microwaves contain sensitive electronics which would be damaged from excess heat{{cn}}, leaving the microwave functionally useless. Most microwaves are also made of metal, which is known for exploding when exposed to microwaves. This is the same principle that causes forks to explode when placed in one.
|-
|''"If you're jumping on a trampoline, how fast would your body have to be going to:<br>'''A.''' Break all bones on impact<br>'''B.''' Make your body go though the tiny holes of the mesh."''
<div align="right">—Micah Lane</div>
|<ol style="list-style-type: upper-alpha">
<li>Breaking all of the bones in your body would be hard because a lot of them are very small, but it would be fast enough that the trampoline wouldn't make much of a difference.</li>
<li>This can't happen, no matter how fast you're going.</li>
</ol>
|-
|''"I have a Nothing Grenade™. When detonated, it instantly replaces itself with a sphere of perfect vacuum 2 meters across. What would actually happen when it went off?"''
<div align="right">—Dave H.</div>
|As the two-meter vacuum circle appeared, the surrounding air would rapidly fill in the sudden gap. Almost instantaneously, the air would collide and expand out with enough force to possibly kill a human and damage small structures such as bookshelves or walls. In other words, you basically have a regular grenade.
|-
|''"Is space hot or cold?"''
<div align="right">—Isaac</div>
|The answer to this is complicated. Temperature is a measurement of the speed of particles. In space, having no air resistance, particles move incredibly fast. However, because it's a vacuum, there are almost no particles. This is a similar principle to the reason you don't get burned when welding sparks touch your skin. They're so small they do basically nothing to you. As there are almost no particles to impact you, space is the hottest place you can freeze to death.
|-
|''"How many bones can you remove from the human body while allowing the human to continue living? Asking for a friend."''
<div align="right">—Chris Rakeman</div>
|That person is not your friend.
|-
|''"What would happen if you put a human under a g-force of 417 Gs for twenty seconds?"''
<div align="right">—Nythill</div>
|The human is guaranteed to die. Scientific tests have shown that, despite the human body's ability to withstand g-forces into the hundreds for very short periods of time (a car crash may exceed 100 Gs of force), going over 18 Gs for a long period of time is likely to cause the human to black out and quickly die, as the force would prevent blood from being able to flow through a human body properly. This is the same reason why bugs are unable to move after hitting a car on the highway, even if they survive.
|-
|''"Where or how can one commit a murder and not be prosecuted for it?"''
<div align="right">—Kunai Dhawan</div>
|Theoretically, in a section of Yellowstone National Park, where {{w|Zone of Death (Yellowstone)|a jury would have to be formed from a non-existent population}}. In practice, you'd definitely still be prosecuted for committing a murder there.
|-
|''"I read today that insects make at least $57 billion a year for the US economy. If we were to pay every single insect in the United States equally for their economic contribution, how much would each insect get?"''
<div align="right">—Hannah McDonald</div>
|Each insect would get $0.0000029.
Broken down:
*$18 billion to flies, including mosquitoes
*$16 billion to bees, wasps, and ants
*$10 billion to beetles
*$7 billion to thrips
*$1 billion to butterflies and moths
*$1 billion to true bugs
*$4 billion to all other insects
|-
|''"What, in today's world and yesterday's world, does it mean to be human, in all social and biological factors?"''
<div align="right">—Seth Carrol</div>
|You meant to submit this to ''Why If?: Deeply Ungrammatical Answers to Unanswerable Philosophical Questions''.
|-
|
|'''Slow Dinosaur Apocalypse'''
|''"What if an object like the Chicxulub impactor hit earth with a relatively low relative speed of (let's say) 3 mph"''
<div align="right">—Beni von Alemann</div>
|Even though the meteor is slow, it's still very big. The impactor would not create a crater, but would instead create a weird effect which makes the rock flow like water, creating a large "space dirt pancake" about the same diameter as the Chicxulub impact Crater. If {{w|Jurassic Park}} were a real place, it could certainly cause a dinosaur extinction over there, if dropped on it.
|
|{{book|2|19}}
|
|-
|
|'''Elemental Worlds'''
|''"What if Mercury (the planet) were entirely made of mercury (the element)? What if Ceres was made of cerium? Uranus made of uranium? Neptune made of neptunium? What about Pluto made of plutonium?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|Earth would (mostly) be fine. Mercury, uranium, neptunium, plutonium, and cerium would all replace the old planets. Changes are as follows:
*Pluto would be visible to the naked eye
*Ceres would be visible to the naked eye
*Mercury would be visible to the naked eye
*Uranus would look a fairly bight star in the night sky
*''When Neptune hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's an x-ray..''
|
|{{book|2|20}}
| 
|-
|
|'''Tire Rubber'''
|''"Rubber tires on millions of cars and trucks start with about ½" tread and end up bald. Rubber should be everywhere, or at least our highways should be made thicker. Where's the rubber?"''
<div align="right">—Fred</div>
|An average tire sheds about 1.6 liters of rubber over the course of its lifetime (from new to bald). If all tire rubber stuck to the road, it would rise by about a third of a millimeter per year. However, most tire rubber shavings are small enough to drift through the air, or for rain and wind to wash them off the road. Tire rubber is more than enough to cause environmental disruption and it's one of the leading causes of microplastics in our oceans.
|
|{{book|2|25}}
|
|-
|rowspan="10"|
|rowspan="10"|'''Short Answers #3'''
|''"How long do you think two people would have to kiss continuously before they had no lips left?"''
<div align="right">—Asli</div>
|That's not how lips work
|rowspan="10"|
|rowspan="10"{{book|2|26.5}} (S3)
|rowspan="10"|
|-
|''"My college friend and I have had this debate for years now: If you put a million hungry ants in a glass cube with one human, who's more likely to walk out alive?"''
<div align="right">—Eric Bowman</div>
|The human would try to break out of the cube, and probably succeed. Although disgusted, the human would probably be fine. Ants generally do not eat meat, preferring leaves and other foliage. If they escaped, both the human and the ants would go after the person who put them in the glass box. If they did not escape, both the human and the ants would eventually die of suffocation, assuming no air holes were installed.
|-
|''"What if all of humanity set all of their differences aside and work together to level out the Earth into a perfect sphere?"''
<div align="right">—Erik Andersen</div>
|This would quickly create new differences. Even if some magical force were employed to keep humanity centered on making the earth a perfect sphere, it would take many years and be almost impossible to do. Because the Earth is an oblate spheroid, and not a sphere as-is, a lot of land would need to be displaced in order to create a perfect sphere. There would need to be somewhere to put all the water in the oceans, which would need to be removed, and a way to move large amounts of land very long distances. Many cities would be buried, such as Amsterdam (average elevation -6.6').
|-
|''"People talk a lot about a space elevator or a building that would reach into low orbit to save time and resources getting things into space. This is going to sound incredibly stupid, but why has no one proposed building a road into space? Since orbit is generally considered to be 62 miles out, would it be possible to build a 62-mile-high mountain somewhere in the United States? Colorado would be my suggestion, since it has a low population density and is about a mile above sea level already."''
<div align="right">—Brian</div>
|Where are you going to get the materials to build the mountain? Also, Colorado has a lot of people in it.
|-
|''"If I shot a rocket and a bullet through Jupiter's center, would they come out the other side?"''
<div align="right">—James Wilson</div>
|No, as the leading theory is that Jupiter has a solid core. Shooting a bullet through the center would simply cause the bullet to collide with the core of the planet.
|-
|''"What if Mount Everest magically turned into pure lava? What would happen to life; would we all die?"''
<div align="right">—Ian</div>
|We would mostly be okay.
|-
|''"Can you fall down into the Mariana Trench, or would you just swim over it?"''
<div align="right">—Rodolfo Estrella</div>
|You can do both of those things. Assuming what he was trying to say was "Can you swim over the Marianas Trench without falling into it?" the answer is that you would just swim directly over it.
|-
|''"I play Dungeons & Dragons, and my DM doesn't want to let us use the Gust of Wind spell to push wind into the sails of a ship and make it move. Her argument is that you can't use this spell to move a ship because someone on a sailboat can't aim a fan at the sail to propel the boat. We argue that since the spell doesn't push you backward when you use it, then we should be able to use it to make the ship sail. She says she'll allow it only if you say so."''
<div align="right">—Georgia Paterson and Allison Adams</div>
|Since the spell doesn't push you backwards, it should work. If the spell pushed you backwards, you would just have to aim the spell backwards.
|-
|''"What if I struck a match on Titan? Would it light if there's no oxygen?"''
<div align="right">—Ethan Fitzgibbon</div>
| While the match would light initially due to the small amount of oxidizer in a matchhead (typically {{w|potassium chlorate}}, in a safety match), it would quickly dissipate due to the lack of oxygen to titan's atmosphere.
|-
|''"I posted a question on social media asking what would be the smallest change that would create the biggest disaster. One of the responses I got said "if every atom gained 1 proton." So my question for you is, what would happen if every atom gained 1 proton?"''
<div align="right">—Olivia Caputo</div>
|The Earth would become one big, very explosive science experiment. Stable atoms would become unstable, releasing large amounts of energy all at once. Brain matter would cease to be brain matter, and cells would no longer be cells. This would lead to everything dying at once. At least we wouldn't need to experience it.
|-
|
|'''Suction Aquarium'''
|''"When I was a child, I discovered that if I took a container into the swimming pool, I could fill it with water and then bring the container (open-end down) to the surface of the water, and the water level in my container was higher than the water level in the pool. What would happen if you tried to do this with a giant container and the ocean? Could you create a giant aquarium on top of the water that the animals could swim in and out of freely? Maybe an irregularly shaped container that you would walk around on to get closer to the fish?"''
<div align="right">—Caroline Collett</div>
|It would work, but the water level would slowly lower back to sea level over time. However, this process can be accelerated by whale farts. I am not joking.
|
|{{book|2|27}}
|
|-
|
|'''Earth Eye'''
|''"If the Earth were a massive eye, how far would it see?"''
<div align="right">—Alasdir</div>
|Its 'resolution' would be over 500 million times better than a normal human eye. It would be able to see the color of a shirt worn on Mars. It could also see incredibly far objects, such as some of the most distant galaxies that haven't been {{w|redshift}}ed to the point of being infrared. However, a planet-sized eye would be inconvenient, as it would certainly go blind from the Sun and could be damaged from nearby stars as well.
|
|{{book|2|28}}
|
|-
|
|'''Build Rome in a Day'''
|''"How many people would it take to build Rome in a day?"''
<div align="right">—Lauren</div>
| It would take anywhere between 15 minutes and 150 minutes with the whole Earth working.
|
|{{book|2|29}}
|
|-
|
|'''Mariana Trench Tube'''
|''"If I put an indestructible 20-meter-wide glass tube in the ocean that goes all the way down to the deepest part of the ocean, what would it be like to stand at the bottom? Assuming the sun goes directly overhead."''
<div align="right">—Zoki Čulo</div>
|You would likely see many new and undiscovered species. You would also be incredibly cold as the freezing waters of the deep would cool the glass. Getting up would be another problem entirely. If you didn't use an elevator, you could break the glass. That would create a geyser, accelerating you upwards at lethal G-forces. Once you reach the surface, you would fly high into the air before crashing back down into the ocean. Also, you would be heralded as a hero by a lot of marine biologists.
|
|{{book|2|30}}
|
|-
|
|'''MRI Compass'''
|''"Why don't compasses point toward the nearest hospital because of the magnetic fields created by MRI machines?"''
<div align="right">—D. Hughes</div>
|They actually do, but only within ~10 meters.
|
|{{book|2|32}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ancestor Fraction'''
|''"I noticed recently that the number of people within a family tree increases exponentially with each generation: I have 2 parents, 4 grandparents, 8 great-grandparents, and so on. Which got me thinking—are most people descended from the majority of Homo sapiens who have ever lived? If not, what fraction of all the people that have ever lived am I descended from?"''
<div align="right">—Seamus</div>
|Likely between 2-3 twenty-fourths of all humans who have ever lived.
|
|{{book|2|33}}
|
|-
|
|'''Bird Car'''
|''"I'm a lowly college student stuck in a car without AC. As such, the windows are down most of the time when I'm driving, and I started thinking: If a bird happens to match my speed and direction perfectly, and I swerve to catch the bird in my car ... what happens next, other than an angry bird? Does the bird stay right where it was? Fly into the windshield? Drop into the seat? My roommate and I disagree. Any help settling this would really make all our lives easier."''
<div align="right">—Hunter W.</div>
| The bird would fall onto the seat at an angle, and then would fly out of the window (hopefully).
|
|{{book|2|34}}
|
|-
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"|'''Weird & Worrying #2'''
|colspan="2"|''"What would happen if you put the end of a vacuum hose up to your eye and turned on the vacuum?"''
<div align="right">—Kitty Greer</div>
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"{{book|2|35.5}} (W2)
|rowspan="4"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"Is it possible to hold your arm straight out of a car window and punch a mailbox clean off its pole? Could you do it without breaking your hand?"''
<div align="right">—Ty Gwennap</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If people's teeth kept growing, but when they were fully grown they come off and are swallowed, how long would it take before it causes any problems?"''
<div align="right">—Valen M.</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"In a defensive situation, how much epinephrine (in a EpiPen) would it take to subdue a possible attacker?"''
<div align="right">—Henry M.</div>
|-
|
|'''Vacuum Tube Smartphone'''
|''"What if my phone was based on vacuum tubes? How big would it be?"''
<div align="right">—Johnny</div>
| The phone would be about the size of one to five city blocks, and would melt its way through the Earth's crust. Conversely, the UNIVAC constructed with modern electrical components would be smaller than a grain of salt.
|
|{{book|2|36}}
|
|-
|
|'''Eat a Cloud'''
|''"Could a person eat a whole cloud?"''
<div align="right">—Tak</div>
|Not unless you can squeeze the air out first. If you don't you will burp out more cloud than you ate.
|
|{{book|2|38}}
|
|-
|
|'''Tall Sunsets'''
|''"Let's say that two people of different heights (159 cm and 206 cm) stand beside each other while looking at the sunset. How much longer will the taller person be able to see the sun than the shorter one?"''
<div align="right">—Rasmus Bunde Nielson</div>
|Over a second longer.
|
|{{book|2|39}}
|
|-
|
|'''Sisyphean Refrigerators'''
|''"Suppose everyone with a fridge or a freezer opened them at the same time, outdoors. Would that amount of cooling be able to noticeably change the temperature? If not, how many fridges would it take to lower the temperature, say, 5 degrees F? What about even lower?"''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Mittica</div>
|Refrigerators don't work like that, and would likely increase global temperatures by 0.3 degrees celsius. The infinite spite of Hades is surprisingly green.
|
|{{book|2|41}}
|
|-
|
|'''Basketball Earth'''
|''"You know how when you spin a basketball on your finger you hit the side to make it go faster and balance it? If a meteor passes close enough to the earth, can it make the Earth spin faster like your hand does the basketball?"''
<div align="right">—Zayne Freshley</div>
|Yes.
|
|{{book|2|43}}
|
|- 
|
|'''Inhale a Person'''
|''"If house dust comprises up to 80 percent dead skin, how many people worth of skin does a person consume/inhale in a lifetime?"''
<div align="right">—Greg</div>
|You could inhale at most 3 gallons of human skin in a lifetime, and dust is not mostly dead skin. Instead it is a cursed salad of soil, pollen, cotton fibers, crumbs, powdered sugar, glitter, pet hair and dander, plastic, soot, human or animal hair, flour, glass, smoke, mites, and various miscellaneous gunk.
|
|{{book|2|45}}
|
|-
|
|'''Candy Crush Lightning'''
|''"How many Wint-O-Green Life Savers would it take to create a life-size lightning bolt if you crushed them"''
<div align="right">—Violet M.</div>
|Billions
|
|{{book|2|46}}
|
|-
|rowspan="13"|
|rowspan="13"|'''Short Answers #4'''
|''"Can humans safely eat rabid creatures?"''
<div align="right">—Winston</div>
|No.
|rowspan="13"|
|rowspan="13"{{book|2|46.5}} (S4)
|rowspan="13"|
|-
|''"What if the Earth's core suddenly stopped producing heat?"''
<div align="right">—Laura</div>
|We would be mostly fine. While one may picture a scenario similar to ''The Core'', the difference would only be noticed long after you're gone, so you don't really need to worry about it :)
|-
|''"Could humanity, with our current technology, destroy the Moon?"''
<div align="right">—Tyler</div>
|No.
|-
|''"Can global warming cause the Earth's magnetic fields to weaken?"''
<div align="right">—Pavaki</div>
|No.
|-
|''"If you used a laser, would you be able to bake something?"''
<div align="right">—Andrew Liu</div>
|Yes.
|-
|''"What if Earth was sliced in half, like an apple? Where should you be such that you have the best chance of survival?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|You should be holding the object that's slicing the Earth.
|-
|''"What would happen if a person dropped into a pool full of jellyfish?"''
<div align="right">—Lorenzo Belotti</div>
|It depends on the species.
|-
|''"Would it be possible to make a house floor into a massive air hockey table, so you could move heavy furniture across the room?"''
<div align="right">—Jacob Wood</div>
|Yes, and now I know what my next home improvement project will be.
|-
|''"My 7-year-old son asked us over dinner recently at which point potatoes melt (I assume in a vacuum). Please advise."''
<div align="right">—Steffen</div>
|Potatoes don't really melt at any temperature. Also, do you automatically add 'in a vacuum' to anything your son says?
|-
|''"Would a pigeon be able to make it to space if it was not affected by gravity?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Evans</div>
|No. The air in the upper atmosphere is too thin to breathe and too cold
|-
|''"If you were flying blind through the Milky Way what would be the odds of hitting a star or planet?"''
<div align="right">—David</div>
|If you flew edge-on, it would be about 1 in 10 billion.
|-
|''"On various bodies in our Solar System (feel free to group any that are equivalent), roughly how long could you survive on the surface (for gas giants, assume you are on a magical platform at some point in the atmosphere that you could reasonably treat as the surface) with nothing but an infinite air supply and warm winter clothing? That is, no helmet, no pressure suit, just a nose-and-mouth air mask attached to a magic air generator, and clothing that would be suitable for, say, Chicago in winter. (No cute tricks like using the magic air supply to generate heat or whatever.)"''
<div align="right">—Melissa Trible</div>
|
*Earth: 100-ish years
*Venus: Weeks to months
*Everywhere else: Minutes to hours
Venus would be great if it weren't for the sulfuric acid.
|-
|''"What would happen if someone dropped an anvil on you from space?"''
<div align="right">—Sam Stiehl</div>
|About the same as if someone dropped an anvil on you from a building.
|-
|
|'''Toasty Warm'''
|''"What if I want to heat my house using toasters. How many do I need?"''
<div align="right">—Peter Ahlström</div>
|Not many, because the house would quickly catch on fire.
|
|{{book|2|47}}
|
|-
|
|'''Eyeball'''
|''"If I pulled out my eyeball and aimed it so that it was looking into my other eyeball, what would I see (assuming the nerves and veins remain undamaged)"''
<div align="right">—Lenka</div>
|You would see an eye superimposed with your head and the background of the room overlapping.
|
|{{book|2|49}}
|
|-
|
|'''Japan Runs an Errand'''
|''"If ALL of Japan's islands disappear, would it affect Earth's natural phenomena (plates, oceans, hurricanes, climate, and so on)?"''
<div align="right">—Miyu Uchida</div>
|Yes, it most certainly would. The sea of Japan would mix with the Pacific ocean now that the wall that separated them is gone. This would cause unpredictable changes to those currents, affecting many life forms who live in that area. Japan, though being small, weighs quite a lot, and the sudden removal of all that weight would cause massive shifts in ocean levels. Depending on the region, some sea levels would rise/fall by up to a foot, causing mass panic for cities that now have a sudden risk of flooding at a moment's notice. Tsunamis would devastate the Korean Peninsula, Hawaii, and the west coast of America.
|
|{{book|2|50}}
|
|-
|
|'''Read All the Laws'''
|''"If a person wanted to read all of the governing documents that apply to them—from the federal and state constitutions, treaties, agency-issued regulations, federal and state laws, local ordinances, etc.—how many pages would they have to read?"''
<div align="right">—Keith Yearman</div>
|Between 145000 and 12.3 million pages.
|
|{{book|2|52}}
|
|-
|rowspan="3"|
|rowspan="3"|'''Weird & Worrying #3'''
|colspan="2"|''"If I were to jump into a container of liquid nitrogen (or dispose of a body that way), how deep would it have to be for me/them to shatter into frozen pieces at the bottom?"''
<div align="right">—Stella Wohnig</div>
|rowspan="3"|
|rowspan="3"{{book|2|52.5}} (W3)
|rowspan="3"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"What would happen to you if a colony of ants suddenly appeared in you bloodstream all at once?"''
<div align="right">—Matt, on behalf of Declan</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If Harry Potter forgets where the invisible entrance to Platform 9¾ is, how long would he have to crash into walls randomly before discovering it?"''
<div align="right">—Max Planker</div>
|-
|
|'''Snowball'''
|''"What if I tried to roll a snowball from the top of Mount Everest? How big would the snowball be by the time it reached the bottom and how long would it take?"''
<div align="right">—Michaeline Yates</div>
|It would remain about the same size, or it could cause an avalanche. Since the peak of {{w|Mount Everest}} is above the clouds, it is very dry there. For a snowball to grow, wet snow is required. The result would be similar to rolling a hamburger down.
|
|{{book|2|54}}
|
|-
|
|'''Walking Backward in Time'''
|''"What if you decided to walk from Austin, Texas, to New York City, but every step takes you back thirty days?"''
<div align="right">—Jojo Yawson</div>
| The sky would flicker at 50 Hz, and you would arrive around 300,000 years in the past.
|
|{{book|2|56}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ammonia Tube'''
|''"What would happen if you fed ammonia into your stomach through a tube? How fast must the flow rate be to burn your stomach from the heat released? What would the newly created chlorine gas do to your stomach?"''
<div align="right">—Becca</div>
|{{w|Ammonia}} is an {{w|EPA list of extremely hazardous substances|extremely hazardous substance}} and pumping it into your abdomen would result in a painful death due to ammonia toxicity. However, at the very least, some of it would be neutralized with your stomach acid.
|
|{{book|2|57}}
|
|-
|rowspan="7"|
|rowspan="7"|'''Short Answers #5'''
|''"Could life evolve in a constantly running microwave?"''
<div align="right">—Abby Doth</div>
|No.
|rowspan="7"|
|rowspan="7"{{book|2|58.5}} (S5)
|rowspan="7"|
|-
|''"Tonight at my work as an ER nurse in the emergency room, a patient (high on methamphetamine) asked for a cup of water. I returned with a paper cup of water, which the patient promptly threw at my head, missing me but hitting the wall in such an improbable way that the open top of the cup impacted the wall and the cup contained/diminished most of the subsequent splatter. It occurred to me that it might be possible to throw a cup of water hard enough that the container of water would go through the wall. Is this possible?"''
<div align="right">—Pete</div>
|Anything will go through a wall if you throw it hard enough
|-
|''"How slow would you have to chew in order to be able to infinitely consume breadsticks?"''
<div align="right">—Miller Broughton</div>
|You would have to divide each breadstick into 20 bites, chewing each bite 200 times at 1 chew per second.
|-
|''"If you were somehow to remove the white and yolk from inside an eggshell (chicken), and replace them with helium, would the eggshell float in the air?"''
<div align="right">—Elizabeth</div>
|No. An eggshell weighs more than the air it displaces.
|-
|''"What would stars smell like, if it were possible to smell them?"''
<div align="right">—Finn Ellis</div>
|Due to the free hydrogen molecules floating around in there, it would taste incredibly sour. It would also smell like burning rubber, as stars are made up of the same components.
|-
|''"What is the average size for every man-made object on the planet?"''
<div align="right">—Max Carver</div>
|Not too big, not too small. About average.
|-
|''"E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E"''
<div align="right">—Nate Yu</div>
|I feel you, Nate.
|-
|
|'''Dog Overload'''
|''"Assuming 1 out of every 4 people has a 5-year-old dog, and the dog reproduces once every year, with 5 puppies, and the puppies start reproducing at 5 and stop at 15 and die at 20, how long would it take for the Earth to be flooded with puppies, assuming we have all the food, water, and oxygen to sustain them?"''
<div align="right">—Griffin</div>
|This is unrealistic right from the start. This assumes the total dog population is 2 billion, which is well above current estimates. A timeline of major events and milestones is listed below.
*After one year, there are enough dogs for everyone to have at least one.
*After 5 years, every human has an average of 6 or 7 dogs.
*After 11 years, Disney releases ''101 Dalmations per Capita'', after there are 101 dogs per person
*After 15 years, the first dogs die, but the death is fully insignificant.
*After 20 years, dogs would only be about 1 meter apart on average.
*After 25-30 years, the dogs begin to stack.
*At about 40 years, the exponential growth is "stable". The population is multiplying by about 1.6578 each year.
*After 65 years, the population of dogs reaches 1 mol
*After 110 years, the dogs start to undergo relativistic collapse
*After 150 years, the dogs are bigger than the solar system.
*After 197 years, the expansion of the dog sphere surpasses 1''c''
*After 200 years, the dogs reach sirius.
*After 250 years, the dogs envelop the milky way.
*After 330 years, the dogs reach the edge of the observable universe.
*After 417 years, Disney releases ''10<sup>101</sup> Dalmations.''
|
|{{book|2|60}}
|
|-
|
|'''Sunscreen'''
|''"Assuming that SPF works as it purports, what SPF would you need for a 1-hour trip to the surface of the sun?"''
<div align="right">—Brian and Max Parker</div>
|You would need SPF 3,200,000 or a giant blob of sunscreen. Despite its name, sunscreen only protects against some types of radiation from the Sun. No amount is going to be adequate protection if you are right inside the Sun. Also, sunscreen, being a gel, would evaporate when exposed to vacuum. When exposed to the plasma of the coronal surface or the Sun's interior, it would quickly ionize along with anything inside it, becoming plasma like the rest of the Sun.
|
|{{book|2|62}}
|
|-
|
|'''Walking on the Sun'''
|''"After the Sun runs out of fuel, it will become a white dwarf and slowly cool. When will it be cool enough to touch?"''
<div align="right">—Jabari Garland</div>
|The Sun will cool to room temperature in about 20 billion years. However, getting there to actually touch it is the hard part. The immense gravity the changed star still has would create a major problem for any attempt to land on and touch it. Even the most powerful propoulstion would not be able to escape the pull of the Sun's gravity, making it nigh impossible for any currently theorised craft to reach the Sun and survive, let alone let you touch it 'safely'.
|
|{{book|2|63}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lemon Drops and Gumdrops'''
|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
<div align="right">—Shuo Peskoe-Yang</div>
|Replacing all rain in the world would have devastating conseqeunces, especially with such dry candies as lemon drops and gumdrops. The water cycle would be destroyed, arable land would become unusable, and the ocean the would dry up. Humanity would perish in this wasteland-like scenario, probably hopped up on sugar.
|
|{{book|2|64}}
|
|-
|
|'''Bonus Chapter'''
|''"...but what if we tried even ''more'' power?"''
<div align="right">—Randall Munroe</div>
| This is a continuation of {{what if|13|13: Laser Pointer}}. Adding even more power than the end of that article would heat the air so much that the lasers would stop themselves long before reaching the Moon. Even if we managed to get them to hit the Moon, the plasma created would be so hot that it would stop anyway.
|
|{{book|3|70}}
|{{book|19|2024|12|03|jgafb8G7i4o|But what if we tried MORE power?}}
|-
|}<noinclude>

<span id="Editors"><big><big>'''Editors'''</big></big></span> ㅤ ''[[#Article index|(jump back to table)]]''

These templates are used in this table: {{tl|what if}}, {{tl|What If}}, {{tl|book}}, {{tl|blog}}.

<big>'''Add YouTube video'''</big>

<nowiki>{{book|YT-NUMBER|YYYY|MM|DD|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''<nowiki>HTTPS://LINK</nowiki>'''''</font>|VIDEO-TITLE}}
'''EXAMPLE:''' <nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''2022'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''12'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''31'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyNhb5Y'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''What if everyone pointed a laser at the moon?'''''</font>}}

<big>'''Add book chapter'''</big>

For the first [[What If? (book)|What If? book]]:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''1'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}

For the second [[What If? 2]] book:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}

'''EXAMPLE:'''<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''69'''''</font>}}

If an article is available exclusively on the third book ([[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition]]) and not in the first two, use this:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''3'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}
<big>'''Link to a ''what if?'' article'''</big>

On this wiki, an easy way to link to a given ''what if?'' article is by using the {{Template|what if}} template. Copy and paste the text below, correcting the number and title (highlighted in green) to get this result:

'''EXAMPLE:'''
See the <nowiki>''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen"><ins>'''''158'''''</ins></font>|<font color="SeaGreen"><ins>'''''Hot Banana'''''</ins></font>}}<nowiki>''</nowiki>.
'''RESULTS IN:'''
See the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|158|Hot Banana}}''.

NOTE: Since the blog releases are now random, please write a comment on [[{{LATESTCOMIC}}#Discussion|the newest comic's talk page]] to announce that a new ''what if?'' article is out.

<big>'''Add name of reader who asked the question.'''</big>

Here's how to add the name(s) to any question on the table. For example, this...
<nowiki>|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.</nowiki>
... becomes this:
<nowiki>|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
<div align="right"></nowiki>'''—'''<font color="SeaGreen">'''''InsertNamesHere'''''</font><nowiki></div>
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.</nowiki>
Copy the code and replace the green part! (NOTE: It uses the em-dash, not a normal hyphen, so don't replace the dash, or use <code>&mdash;</code>.) Transcribe it exactly as it is written on the website or book, including parenthesis and age, if given by Randall. '''Protip for desktop users:''' the text looks ALL CAPS on the site, but if you copy and paste it, it's in normal Sentence Case. You can simply copy and paste.

''[[#Article index|(jump back to table)]]''
<span id="bottom"></span>
{| style="border: 1px solid {{{border|gray}}}; background-color: {{{color|#fdffe7}}};"
|rowspan="2" style="vertical-align:middle;" | {{{{{|safesubst:}}}#ifeq:{{{2}}}|alt|[[File:What If Barnstar.jpeg|100px]]|[[File:What If Barnstar.jpeg|100px]]}}
|rowspan="2" |
|style="font-size: x-large; padding: 0; vertical-align: middle; height: 1.1em;" | '''The What If? Project Barnstar'''
|-
|style="vertical-align: middle; border-top: 1px solid gray;" | <div style="font-family: Cormorant Garamond"><span style="font-size:5pt;color:black">

* <span style="background-color:#9eff9e;"><span style="color:green; font-size:1.4em;">''' ✓'''</span><big> '''Added: '''</big></span> All ~140 book-exclusive articles, each color-coded by book; reader question and Randall's answer for almost all ~70 [[What If? 2]]-exclusive articles; EVERY YouTube video and its associated article; over new 130 thumbnails uploaded; new article from [[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition|the new book]] and the [[what if? (blog)#top|deleted article]].

* <span style="background-color:#9eff9e;"><span style="color:green; font-size:1.4em;">''' ✓'''</span><big> '''Changes: '''</big></span> Merged columns No., Release date, and Weeks since last release; every column now easily sortable; columns Blog, Book (new), and YouTube (new) now use {{template|blog}} and {{template|book}} and are color-coded; split ''Short-Answer Sections'' into different cells; title bold and question italics and quoted!

----

Great Job to everyone who helped out on this project! If you helped out explain the articles or build the table, feel free to sign here: '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:5pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:2pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 17:44, 14 February 2025 (UTC), [[User:WriterArtistCoder|WriterArtistCoder]]<sup>[[User talk:WriterArtistCoder|talk to me]]</sup> 21:56, 11 March 2025 (UTC), [[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 15:53, 12 March 2025 (UTC) --'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al |<span style="font-family:Atomic Age;font-size:5pt;color:red;">DollarStoreBa'al</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:DollarStoreBa'al |'''''Converse''''']]</sup>[[DSBContribs |'''''My life choices''''']] 23:30, 14 June 2025 (UTC

[[Category:What If?| 9]]{{xkcdmeta}}

3133: Dual Roomba

2025-11-17T19:19:27Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Transcript */ fixed typo ('every' → 'ever')

{{comic
| number = 3133
| date = August 25, 2025
| title = Dual Roomba
| image = dual_roomba_2x.png
| imagesize = 679x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I tried uploading it to a household appliance porn site I found, but apparently their content is limited to only fans.
}}

==Explanation==

A {{w|Roomba}} is a small household robot that was designed to clean floors. To do so, its underside is equipped with brushes and vacuums to clean the floors. Roombas are generally not meant to clean anything other than floors, but Cueball has his Roombas clean each other when they get dirty (as opposed to the simpler solution of cleaning the Roombas by hand).

When Cueball demonstrates his Roombas cleaning each other to White Hat, White Hat remarks that the cleaning Roombas look sexually suggestive. The term "{{w|Not safe for work}}" (NSFW) describes material, like pornography, which may not be appropriate for a general audience, and in particular the kind of workplace internet browsing that would normally be particularly discouraged because it's likely to offend colleagues and/or violate workplace policies regarding such offense. While the Roombas don't look at all like sexual organisms, their interaction evidently reminds people of sex, as they are going back and forth across each other's surfaces and change positions in the middle of it. When one Roomba is cleaning the top of the other, it looks like {{w|doggy style}}; when it's cleaning the bottom, it looks like {{w|missionary position}} or {{w|69 (sex position)|69}}, depending on the orientation of the front and back.

Cueball says that the {{w|YouTube}} video that he posted about this trick was demonetized, meaning that the video is not allowed to generate ad revenue. This normally happens to NSFW videos, such as those with NSFW content or a large amount of profanity.

One popular monetized pornography (porn) site is called {{w|OnlyFans}}. The title text says that Cueball tried to upload his video to a porn site dedicated to "household appliances," but was unable to because its content was limited to only {{w|Fan (machine)|fans}}. This is a play on words; for the real OnlyFans site, "fans" is short for "fanatics," rather than mechanical fans. A site dedicated to household appliance porn would be an example of [[Rule 34]] (if you can imagine it, there is porn of it). The same play on words has already been made in [[1378: Turbine]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball holds a finger up in front of White Hat. Behind Cueball, to the right, there is a stationary Roomba on the floor.]
:Cueball: The Roomba keeps my floor clean.
:Cueball: But what do I do when the '''''Roomba''''' gets dirty?

:[In a frame-less panel White Hat looks over Cueball's shoulder as he has turned and gestures towards two Roombas on the floor. The new Roomba is climbing up a ramp on to the first, still stationary, Roomba. Small lines behind the climbing Roomba indicates movement.]
:Cueball: Simple:
:Cueball: I got a second Roomba and a ramp, so they can clean each other.

:[White Hat looks on as Cueball kneels down to flip the first Roomba over. He turns it on so it begins to move even though it is turned over, this is indicated with motion lines. The ramp is next to it, and the other Roomba is next to the ramp, now that one is stationary.]
:Cueball: After the tops are clean, I flip one of them over so they can clean each others’ undersides.

:[Cueball and White Hat are now watching the Roombas clean each other. The second Roomba has used the ramp behind them to climb on top of the first. Both of them are wiggling as indicated with several motion lines around them.]
:White Hat: There’s nothing NSFW about this, and yet it’s the most NSFW thing I’ve ever seen.
:Cueball: Yeah, my YouTube DIY video about this got demonetized.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Robots]]
[[Category:Roomba]]
[[Category:Sex]]

3074: Push Notifications

2025-04-10T21:09:56Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Gallery of comic images */

{{comic
| number = 3074
| date = April 9, 2025
| title = Push Notifications
| image = push_notifications_2x.png
| imagesize = 277x347px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!<br><br><span style="color:grey">Different title text:</span> :3
}}
To experience the interactivity of the game, visit the {{xkcd|3074|original comic}}.

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Please write a better overall explanation and explain the other functions of the comic. If you see any comic images that haven't been uploaded yet, please download and add them! Also, a table might not be the most space-efficient way to display the different comic images; a gallery of images might be better.}}
This interactive comic is the 15th [[:Category:April fools' comics|April Fools' Day]] comic released by Randall, just over a week late. It uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements. A table of notifications can be seen at [[3074: Push Notifications/Table of Notifications]].

After viewing the comic for the first time, there is a sequence of notifications rendered over the comic itself. After clicking through these, you are provided with two buttons: one labeled "Emergency Stop" which will halt all notifications, and one labeled "Silence notifications at a cost" which will silence notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

If you press silence notifications too much the laptop blows up. This happens because the POST request that is sent to the server is returned by a 500 Internal Server Error. This is a real error.

Up to 7 clickable cats periodically spawn (nonrandomly) all over the comic, including one on the edge of the Emergency Stop button.

Notification types include:
* Asking you to type a word, with further notifications to be sent whenever someone chooses the same word as you. Following this up changes the comic pane to a comic-style input dialogue with a space for the word and a submit button.
** Upon providing a word, a notification informs you that you will then receive notifications (of the form "Someone else has selected the word <Your Word>!"), and that your choice is permanent and cannot be changed.
** It is entirely possible to (mis-)submit a blank word, and to receive "Someone else has selected the word !" notifications.
* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.
* An announcement that an old comic was posted, specifying a comic and its publication date.
* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. The message changes first every 10 clicks, then every 50 clicks (after 100) and then at increasing intervals, with the last new message name being at 2000 clicks. After every 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}. If you choose to accept the offer by clicking on it, it will reset your clicks back to zero but makes all future clicks count double of the current click rate; you can also reject the offer by continuing to click on the click counter message. There are occasionally notifications encouraging you to keep clicking and "extend your streak," tempting you with "a free click to keep you going". After 400 clicks it will reset your clicks back to zero but makes all future clicks count four times.
** Early notifications encourage further clicking.
** Approaching a hundred, the messages grow more concerned and later start warning that the server will crash or has crashed.
** Above 750: "Are you just doing this to annoy me?"
** 1000-2000: "Are you just doing this to annoy you?"
** Above 2000: "I guess it worked"
* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which causes all the cats to spawn when clicked.
* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked, in reference to [https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/241/756/e6e.png this exchange].
* Various "erroneous errors" with a warning triangle, some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.
** A "gravity malfunction" indicating a change to the floating image.
** An "Error 40¾" HTTP malfunction (with {{w|Zalgo text}} on the error code) indicating a change to the tentacle image.
** "I forgot whether I'm the server or the client."
** An error for not enough errors.
** An error for too many errors.
** A Kernel Panic indicating the Kernel can't remember what number comes after 38
** A notification claiming that your computer ballast needs emptying, along with the computer room being flooded
** "Your computer has encountered an error" indicating a change to the fire image.
** Error 418: {{w|Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol#Commands and replies|I'm a teapot}}.
** An error with the "computer size limiter", indicating the enlarged laptop image.
* "Zoom notifications" including numeric coordinates, sometimes prefixed with "oh look!"; plotting these coordinates creates an image that appears to be a turtle, apparently a reference to [[1416: Pixels]].
* "Constant reminders" stating what some constant will be "at the tone". (This is in reference to time-of-day phone services, largely obsolete since the popularization of the internet, which you could call to hear the exact time at a given tone.) There are also joke constants such as "your favorite number will be equal to 14," and some definitions are tautological or not related to the actual value of the constant. Constants include
** The silver ratio (1 + the square root of 2)
** The golden ratio (half of 1 + the square root of 5)
** Pi (the ratio between a circle's circumference and radius, and half of Tau)
** Zero (a real number)
** Your favorite number (14)
** The luminosity of the sun (L☉)
** {{w|Euler's constant}}
** "We are currently experiencing 3600±1 seconds per hour. Changes to this rate will be announced six months in advance." - Referencing {{w|Leap second#Procedure|standard Leap Second procedure}}
* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city. If none of the cities that it knows are selected, your location is set to the summit of {{w|Mount Washington}}.
* A reminder that the Earth spins at 1 rpd (rotation per day).
* A statement near an hour or half-hour time that the current time is five-o-clock somewhere.
* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel
* A notification with the heading "System Log" that reads (INFO): A user has paused notifications
* A reminder to comment and subscribe, leading to one of various Wikipedia pages, including: {{w|Talk:Mathematics}}, {{w|Talk:Romance}}, {{w|Talk:Language}}, (presumably, as the fourth of the stated topics [[xkcd]] is about) {{w|Talk:Sarcasm}}, {{w|Talk:Alarm_fatigue}}, {{w|Talk:Boneless}}, {{w|Talk:Sitting}}, {{w|Category talk:Unix text editors}}, {{w|Talk:Robot}}, {{w|Talk:Jamming avoidance response}}, {{w|Talk:Squircle}}, {{w|Talk:Like}}, {{w|Talk:Drafting linen}}, {{w|Talk:Hot dog}}, {{w|Talk:Goomba}}, {{w|Talk:Tidal locking}}, {{w|Talk:Multiple unit}}, {{w|Talk:Flag semaphore}}, {{w|Talk:Stoating}}, {{w|Talk:Roseate_spoonbill}}, {{w|Talk:Teleportation}}.
* A "{{w|Carriage return|Carriage Return}} Line Feed", referencing the Windows standard of storing line returns as a carriage return character followed by a line feed (newline) character. However, the xkcd Carriage Return Line Feed is instead a news feed concerning the next stop on a supposed "Carriage Return Line" of a train system. The announcements are all related to stations on the {{w|London Underground}}, including the use of the phrase "{{w|Mind the gap}}".

The title text references the {{w|Lernaean Hydra}}, a multi-headed serpent-like monster from Greek mythology. In many stories, such as {{w|Labours_of_Hercules#Second:_Lernaean_Hydra|the second labour of Hercules}}, when one of its heads was cut off, two heads would grow in its place, resulting in more heads than before. Something similar has happened in the title text itself: there was a notification that was requested to be dismissed, and it created two more notifications notifying the user of the status of the dismissal.

The subdirectory where the images and scripts for this comic are stored is titled 'marconi,' which is likely a reference to the Italian engineer and inventor of the same name, {{w|Guglielmo Marconi}}, who is credited with inventing the radio, and did much work in the field of early communication systems.

Clicking the "Emergency Stop" button allows you to either restart the full game or to subscribe just to notifications for new comics.

===Gallery of comic images===
<gallery class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" widths=100px>
File:3074_normal.png|Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.
File:3074_big_laptop.png|Cueball sitting at his desk, with a very large laptop.
File:3074_plant_small.png|Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.
File:gallery_placeholder.png|Cueball sitting at his desk, with a squirrel in the pot.
File:3074_plant_big.png|Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.
File:gallery_placeholder.png|Two images with the larger plant that also have cats in the leaves.
File:gallery_placeholder.png|Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.
File:3074_flooding.png|The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk. Cueball is still sitting with his laptop.
File:3074_sailboat.png|The same flooding, with a miniature sailboat behind Cueball.
File:gallery_placeholder.png|The same flooding, with a cat face behind Cueball.
File:3074_Flooded_Shark_Fin.png|The same flooding, with a shark fin on the far side of the desk, facing toward Cueball.
File:gallery_placeholder.png|Cueball kneeling on the chair, which is raised up higher than the desk, and leaning over to use the laptop.
File:gallery_placeholder.png|Cueball sitting at the desk, which has been extended behind his laptop like a long meeting table.
File:gallery_placeholder.png|No Cueball, only the chair, desk, and laptop.
File:gallery_placeholder.png|Cueball using the laptop on his lap, with no desk.
File:gallery_placeholder.png|Cueball with a squirrel on his head.
File:gallery_placeholder.png|A squirrel sitting at the desk, seemingly using the laptop.
File:gallery_placeholder.png|Cueball standing on top of the laptop keyboard.
File:gallery_placeholder.png|Cueball sitting at the desk, wearing a wizard hat.
File:3074_floor.png|Cueball sitting on the floor behind the desk.
File:3074_tentacles.png|Cueball sitting in his chair, shielding his face from a tentacle coming from the computer screen.
File:3074_cat.png|The cat that appears after returning to the comic window after leaving it idle for long period of time. It has a unique title text of ":3".
File:zoom_turtle.png|The turtle that appears when graphing coordinates from the Zoom Notifications.
</gallery>

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]
:Happy April 1st (observed)!
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:<span style="color:gray">''Click this notification to learn more!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)

:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each update, right?
:That’s what we thought, too.
:<span style="color:gray">''Click to continue!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)

:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]
:Sign: Emergency STOP
:Below the sign: <span style="color:red">''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''</span>
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:<span style="color:gray">''The rest of the system does <u>NOT</u> work.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)

:We’re sorry.
:We don’t know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A <b><u>LOT</u></b> more.
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time.
:<span style="color:gray">''Click here to ignore the warnings.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)

:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:<big>⚠️<b>DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS</b>⚠️</big>
:<span style="color:gray">''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)

:Are you sure?
:<span style="color:gray">''Yes!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)
:Absolutely sure?
:<span style="color:gray">''YES!!''</span> (a circled arrow is shown)
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.

:<span style="background-color:#FFD3D3;color:#8B0000">''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''</span>

:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1<sup>st</sup> (Observed)
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.
:Laptop: [Warning sign.]

:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]

:[First page of messages]
:Happy April 1<sup>st</sup>! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''

:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?
:That's what we thought, too.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''

:[Next set of popover messages]
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does <u>not</u> work.''
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything

:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]
:We're sorry.
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''

:[Next set.]
:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications

:[Just two popovers, initially]
:Are you sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]
:Absolutely sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes!!
:[On clicking, a further popover]
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.

:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow

:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]
:Success!!
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

:[Further changes include the contents of the pane, whether Cueball is sat at the laptop, whether the laptop is larger, or a pot-plant, whether there are cats in the frame, outside the frame, sat on the Stop buttons, whether Cueball is sat on a large cat instead of an office chair...]
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:April fools' comics]]

575: Tag Combination

2025-02-25T08:20:22Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Explanation */ small elaboration on Dexys Midnight Runners; removed dead link

{{comic
| number = 575
| date = April 29, 2009
| title = Tag Combination
| image = tag combination.png
| titletext = I love Eileen / and want you to love her / When you're around / I'm one floor above her / If you could see / just how much I adore her / Oh, that pretty red dress / I'd do anything for her / (Too ra loo ra too ra loo rye ayy)
}}

==Explanation==

Song tags are a form of file {{w|metadata}} used to categorize music. Tags will typically describe the content and genre of the song, and many music organization programs and services will allow users to find all songs that contain a particular tag; so when a user searches for "Country breakup music," they will receive a list of {{w|Country music|country}} songs about breaking up.

In this comic, [[Cueball]] tests [[Megan]]'s claim that she can make a song name for any set of tags by coming up with a collection of mostly unrelated words: "{{w|lesbian}} {{w|voyeurism}} {{w|one-hit wonder}} {{w|Mashup (music)|mash-up|}}." A {{w|lesbian}} is a woman who is only sexually interested in other women. {{w|Voyeurism}} is the act of watching someone else do something sexual, generally without their knowledge. A {{w|one-hit wonder}} is a band that had "one big hit" before fading from the public eye forever. A {{w|Mashup (music)|mash-up}} is when someone takes two previously unrelated songs and makes a third song that's a mix of both of them (a recent example of which would be [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82LCKBdjywQ this Gangam Style/Ghostbusters theme mashup]). In response, Megan immediately replies with one song title that looks like it would fit the tags well. When Cueball asks for a second example, Megan gives him a new example for the same set of tags, which is really impressive.

Megan's first title, "I Wish That Stacy's Mom Had Jessie's Girl" is a ''mash-up'' of {{w|Jessie's Girl|"Jessie's Girl"}} by {{w|Rick Springfield}} (see [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYkbTyHXwbs video] on YouTube), and {{w|Stacy's Mom|"Stacy's Mom"}} by {{w|Fountains of Wayne}} (see [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZLfasMPOU4 video] on YouTube), the latter was a ''one-hit-wonder'', whereas Springfield has had several other hits. (The song Stacy's Mom was referenced in comic [[61: Stacey's Dad]]).

The second title, "When You Come on Eileen I Touch Myself" is a ''mash-up'' of {{w|Come On Eileen|"Come on Eileen"}} by {{w|Dexys Midnight Runners}} (see [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVxcwe7EcaY video] on YouTube), and {{w|I Touch Myself|"I Touch Myself"}} by {{w|Divinyls}} (see [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wv-34w8kGPM video] on YouTube). Both of these are one-hit wonders (at least in the US; Dexys had more hits in the UK). Note that "Come on, Eileen" means "Hurry up, Eileen", and that "to come on someone" means to ejaculate on someone. Since the song is about lesbian sex, come on someone must mean have an orgasm while being on someone.

For other random connections see [[305: Rule 34]].

===Title text===
The title text is a set of potential lyrics to Megan's second title. [[Randall]] borrowed the rhyme scheme, phrasing, and subject matter from the first eight {{w|stanzas}} of "I Touch Myself" with additional subject matter inspired by "Come on Eileen." The final stanza is the chorus lead-in from the latter.

The lyrics suggest a changed relationship between the characters. In the original "I Touch Myself", the female singer touches herself (masturbates) when thinking about her lover (of unspecified gender); instead, she now does this while a new third character makes love to her beloved, Eileen, while the singer overhears them (as a voyeur) from the apartment above.

Here are the lyrics for [http://www.metrolyrics.com/i-touch-myself-lyrics-the-divinyls.html I Touch Myself] and [http://www.metrolyrics.com/come-on-eileen-lyrics-dexys-midnight-runners.html Come on Eileen]. Below in the table the mashed up lines are shown. As can be seen most of the text is from "I Touch Myself":

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Mashed up line
! Line from "I Touch Myself"
! Line from "Come On Eileen"
|-
| I love Eileen
| '''I love''' myself (1st line).
| Come on '''Eileen''' (1st line).
|-
| and want you to love her
| I '''want you to love''' me (2nd part of 1st line).
| No line - the '''her''' is now referring to Eileen.
|-
| When you're around
| '''When you're around''' (11th line).
| No line.
|-
| I'm one floor above her
| '''I''' want you '''above''' me (2nd line).
| No line - the '''her''' is now referring to Eileen.
|-
| If you could see
| A fool '''could see''' (15th line).
| No line.
|-
| just how much I adore her
| '''just how much I adore''' you (2nd part of previous line).
| No line - the '''her''' is now referring to Eileen.
|-
| Oh, that pretty red dress
| There are many '''Oh''' in this song, but also in the other.
| '''That pretty red dress''' (30th line).
|-
| I'd do anything for her
| '''I'd do anything for''' you (16th line).
| No line - the '''her''' is now referring to Eileen.
|-
| (Too ra loo ra too ra loo rye ayy)
| No line.
| '''(Too ra loo ra too ra loo rye ayy)''' (11th line).
|}

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are talking.]
:Cueball: So you can come up with a song title fitting any tag combination?
:Megan: Try me.

:[Cueball and Megan are talking.]
:Cueball: Lesbian voyeurism one-hit wonder mash-up.
:Megan: "I wish that Stacey's Mom had Jessie's Girl."

:[Cueball and Megan are just standing there for a beat panel.]

:[Cueball and Megan are talking.]
:Cueball: Well, that was one, but-
:Megan: "When you Come On Eileen I touch myself."
:Cueball: Okay, wow.

== Trivia ==

Both song names that Megan produces are in {{w|iambic pentameter}}, suggesting that Megan's hobby has the flavor of Cueball's in [[79: Iambic Pentameter]].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Homosexuality]]

User talk:Aaron of Mpls

2022-10-04T07:34:48Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Historical significance */ Aaron of Mpls reply to While False

{{Welcome}}<span> — [[User:Sqrt-1|The <b>𝗦𝗾𝗿𝘁-𝟭</b>]] <sup>[[User talk:Sqrt-1|<span style="color: blue">talk</span>]] [[Special:Contributions/Sqrt-1|<span style="color: blue">stalk</span>]]</sup></span> 12:32, 15 December 2020 (UTC)

== Historical significance ==

This appears to be the oldest continuously active account on explain xkcd, being created 03:58, 1 August 2012.
[[User:While False|While False]] ([[User talk:While False|speak]]) 20:56, 2 October 2022 (UTC)
: Oh my, this is a surprise! ...And I see the other "oldest accounts" were created within a few hours of my own. Guess we all jumped on it when ''explain xkcd'' transitioned to a wiki. Thanks for pointing this out! --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 07:34, 4 October 2022 (UTC)

==Museum==
This user page is referenced in the [[user:While False/xkcd museum|museum]].

Talk:2109: Invisible Formatting

2022-08-23T00:49:19Z

Aaron of Mpls: added missing newline between comments

This reminds me of the person who used l (lower-case "L") instead of 1 for data entry at some business. Amazingly, the computer accepted it (BAD programming!) and it wasn't found out until the end of the tax year, when all heck broke loose! [[Special:Contributions/162.158.75.136|162.158.75.136]] 14:50, 8 February 2019 (UTC)
:Some programming puzzles are often solved with stuff like this: AΑ [[User:Fabian42|Fabian42]] ([[User talk:Fabian42|talk]]) 15:19, 8 February 2019 (UTC)
:"l" (lower-case "L") is a valid suffix to integer literals in C and derived languages. It indicates the number is of the "long int" type as opposed to a plain "int". Because C automatically upconverts the "int" type into "long int" when needed, the "l" suffix is rarely used. The result: "long int a = 1;" and "long int a = 1l;" mean exactly the same thing, and both statements are perfectly standard and won't raise any warning from compilers. "ll" (double el) is also a valid suffix, this time for the "long long int" type. [[User:GuB|GuB]] ([[User talk:GuB|talk]]) 15:39, 8 February 2019 (UTC)
:Typing lowercase ''L'' instead of ''1'' is a common thing for people of a certain age. Old manual typewriters usually don't have a "1" key, so people learned to use lowercase ''L'' instead -- and sometimes slip back into that habit on newer technology. --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 02:03, 9 February 2019 (UTC)
::Tha's exactly what happened in my example. I blame the programmer, though, for allowing a letter where a numeral was required or possibly converting the l to a 1 if the programmer knew such a thing ever happened. In either case, it shouldn't have allowed the l to just sit there like a bomb waiting to blow apart the post-tax-year processing. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.58.83|172.68.58.83]] 15:22, 9 February 2019 (UTC)

I went to this page, expecting it to be self-referential. Was not disappointed. [[User:Fabian42|Fabian42]] ([[User talk:Fabian42|talk]]) 15:19, 8 February 2019 (UTC)

Some markup conversion tools don't handle hidden bold spaces correctly. This HTML to Markdown converter is an example: https://anthonychu.github.io/to-markdown/ It converts <code><nowiki><b>a </b></nowiki></code> to <code>**a **</code> instead of <code>**a** </code>. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.62.10|172.69.62.10]] 15:40, 8 February 2019 (UTC)
:Hah, this comment is not mine! Somehow I have your IP now. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.62.10|172.69.62.10]] 17:47, 8 February 2019 (UTC)

Were the periods in the beginning there for a specific reason? [[User:Netherin5|Netherin5]] ([[User talk:Netherin5|talk]]) 17:42, 8 February 2019 (UTC)
:The user 108.162.245.16 thought it was a good idea for some reason. Glad you fixed it. I finished the job [[Special:Contributions/172.69.62.10|172.69.62.10]] 17:46, 8 February 2019 (UTC)

I've had this happen when writing papers. Bold. Unbold. Later backspace into the hidden bold space and everything typed after gets put in bold. If a professor gives you a page count instead of a word count, you can make the punctuation in your paper bold (or increase the font) to add some extra padding that might go unnoticed. Don't actually do this if you can't convey your thesis in fewer words. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.210.52|172.69.210.52]] 18:11, 8 February 2019 (UTC)

I hated when Microsoft Word took over and lacked a real "Reveal Codes" like WordPerfect used to have. I'm kind of like Randall, I think about those behind-the-scenes things that lots of companies like to try to hide from the user, and I like the power to do something about them. [[User:N0lqu|-boB]] ([[User talk:N0lqu|talk]]) 18:58, 8 February 2019 (UTC)
:When I saw the strip, I immediately thought of Word Perfect because its brain dead way of inserting formatting as special codes inline with the text. Hit "reveal codes" and it would reveal a string of bold on / bold off codes because it wasn't clever enough to optimise them away. I assume Word does it differently, perhaps with attributed strings and so doesn't need the reveal codes function so you can manually fix the mess the program has a made.

In Microsoft Word, where the majority of people would have experience with selecting and bolding text, the cursor appears as an "I-beam" when positioned over text and not as the "mouse pointer arrow" shown by Randall. Also, in Word double-clicking a word does select the following space(s), but when bold is applied it is applied only to the selected word, NOT to the trailing space (even though the space was selected when the bold was applied). So selecting just the word and un-bolding would not leave a bolded space behind, since the space was never bolded.
Clearly Randall's example is in some editor other than Word. Since Word is where most people have familiarity with selecting and bolding text, something should be added to the explanation noting this and speculating on which text editor Randall is actually showing. - [[Special:Contributions/108.162.246.215|108.162.246.215]] 20:35, 8 February 2019 (UTC)
: Agreed. '''Most''' text editors do not select the trailing space when double-clicking. Microsoft Word is one of the few that does it. But in that case, the space is not formatted as bold. But in most word processors including Word, if you do select the word with the trailing space and apply the bold formatting, the space retains the formatting even if the word is un-bolded. So the first sentence of the explanation is incorrect.
::Do they not? Notepad does it. Notepad++ does it. Your browser does it. Where is the wealth of programs that don't? I reckon this is the default system-wide behavior for double-clicking in Windows, regardless of program. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.65.228|172.68.65.228]] 11:46, 9 February 2019 (UTC)
:::It seems to be indeed Windows issue, as everything I tried did highlight extra space (except Notepad++), but nothing I tried on Linux did. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.90.36|162.158.90.36]] 13:59, 9 February 2019 (UTC)

Hidden formatting annoys translators greatly. Sometimes, the formatting of the word processor used and the formatting recognized by the CAT program (such as SDL Trados Studio or MemoQ) do not line up very well, which causes the formatting to appear as tags within the text (purple colored in the most widely used CAT software, Trados). If there is sloppy or hidden formatting all through the document, this turns into what most people call a "wall of purple", with tags everywhere within the document. Since tags need to be accounted for (otherwise the document does not save properly), and the formatting capability of most CAT tools is a lot more limited compared to any word processors, this is a colossal waste of time for any translator to wade through. Thus, if you leave any hidden formatting in a document and you know it will be translated somewhere down the line, you know there is a translator out there that curses the day you were born. (A note though - PDF conversion is responsible for a lot more wall of purple incidents than sloppy formatting. Seriously - if you expect a document to be translated at some point, never bring it anywhere close to the PDF format. That format is evil, I tell you. Pure evil.) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.89.61|162.158.89.61]] 05:47, 9 February 2019 (UTC)

In WordPerfect for DOS, the codes were [BOLD] to turn bold on and [bold] to turn it off again. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.38.40|162.158.38.40]] 11:30, 9 February 2019 (UTC)

The whole idea of invisible formatting is being used by some websites, including Facebook, to make it much harder for ad blockers to block ads. For example, https://twitter.com/themikepan/status/1093035372186034176 Of course, the same can also be used to defeat swear filters on forums, as well (which, for some words like "bastard sword," *the moderators* themselves suggest doing). [[User:Draco18s|Draco18s]] ([[User talk:Draco18s|talk]]) 19:43, 9 February 2019 (UTC)

We have a category for comics with colour... can we have a category for comics with lowercase letters? :) [[User:Undergroundmonorail|Undergroundmonorail]] ([[User talk:Undergroundmonorail|talk]]) 02:33, 10 February 2019 (UTC)

I frequently see a similar, related problem. In preparing a weekly newsletter (consisting mostly of links to articles from various news sources), people submitting articles to me usually send me Microsoft Word files into which they have used copy/paste to insert the headline, URL and a few lines of text for context. On far too many articles, I find that the resulting text has embedded UNICODE {{w|Left-to-right mark}} characters (U+200E) in it. These don't affect display and printing at all (since all of the text is already left-to-right), but it creates broken links if one appears in a URL and I copy/paste it into a web browser's location bar. There doesn't seem to be any way to make these characters visible in Word. If manually cursoring over the text (with left/right keys), you will see the cursor change shape without moving when stepping over the left-to-right mark, but that's the only indication. It's quite annoying to have to work around. (If anyone knows of a good workaround, please let me know.) [[User:Shamino|Shamino]] ([[User talk:Shamino|talk]]) 19:32, 10 February 2019 (UTC)
:I frequently cut-and-paste text into Notepad (or gedit, or some other text-only editor etc.), then cut-and-paste it back to Word or whatever other "rich text" capable destination I am using -- this removes all hidden junk, formatting, font changes, bold, etc. and the pasted text takes on the characteristics of wherever it's pasted into rather than where it came from. This is basically taking the text down to the bare minimum, and then I can reintroduce whatever formatting''' I '''want it to have. [[User:N0lqu|-boB]] ([[User talk:N0lqu|talk]]) 16:47, 11 February 2019 (UTC)

GIMP is really bad about this when trying to add text to an image. You either end up with the formatting not wanting to stick, or you end up with invisible formatting all over the place. [[User:Dark|Dark]] <sup>[[User Talk:Dark|talk]]</sup> 00:15, 11 February 2019 (UTC)

Seems to me that everybody here misses the point of the comic. Which is not the problems hidden left over formatting could do to later text. The joke here is that Randall is about to write something where he really means that '''NOT'''. But then regrets it, as he is afraid that the reader of his text/message would take offense of having this not shouted out in bold! So he reverts the bold, but because he misses the space, he has left a proof that he actually did mean '''Not''' and this can now be found out by the receiver anyway, which might then take offense anyway, or take offense that Randall felt he had to delete the bold, as if the receiver could not handle this (of course if he took offense from this Randall had proved his point, but never the less he tries to avoid this.). All this is mentioned now at the very end of a long list of indifferent problems such a bold space could create. I will move this up to the top now, as the main explanation. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 10:06, 13 February 2019 (UTC)

I found (and find) the typography in this comic troubling, because while it is clearly a proportionally spaced font ("l" is 5px wide, "w" is 23px), the boldfaced and roman "not"s are the same size (49px wide). In a normal proportionally spaced situation, the boldfaced letters would be wider. [[User:JohnHawkinson|JohnHawkinson]] ([[User talk:JohnHawkinson|talk]]) 03:23, 23 February 2019 (UTC)

In an edit last week I removed the claims that "Randall bolds text via clicking" and that it "could indicate that Randall is not familiar with using word processors." [[Special:Contributions/172.68.144.145|172.68.144.145]] just reverted my removal, and I wanted to explain here why '.145 is wrong, in a little more space than the edit summary allows.
I said originally, ''"An iconbutton is used for bold in comics for illustrative purposes, because you can't see the keyboard. It does not reflect the author-artist's knowlege."'' That is, we cannot draw conclusions about Randall's knowledge based on the fact that he didn't illustrate in this comic using a keyboard.<br>
'.145 asks, perhaps rhetorically, ''"Then why not just write "Ctrl+B"? You can't see the mouse either, but you know what "click" and "select" are referring to."''<br>
'''First''' of all, it doesn't matter. The comic could also have illustrated use of a menu, but that wouldn't tell us anything about Randall's knowledge of the iconbutton or the keyboard shortcut. Without any information about this, it's not possible to make reasonable inferences about this, and so the explanation shouldn't even go there. '''Secondly,''' there are good reasons why an iconbutton makes more sense (not that I'm required to supply them); because keyboard shortcuts are not as discoverable as iconbuttons or menus (and menus take a lot of space that make them hard in a comic of small compact multiples like this one) that means more people are familiar with the menu or button than the keyboard shortcut, and indeed those who know the keyboard shortcut are generally a subset of those who know another method; and further still, "Ctrl+B" is not platform-independent (e.g. Mac users need Cmd+B) or software-independent (InDesign users need Cmd+Shift+B). '''Thirdly,''' you can indeed see the mouse pointer, so I'm not sure what '.145 is trying to suggest. '''And finally,''' it's utterly ridiculous and kind of offensive to suggest (without any real basis) that Randall doesn't know how to use a word processor. That a person chooses to use one method, even if it's not the most efficient method, doesn't mean they are "not familiar with using word processors." We don't even know what Randall's UI preferences are here, but even if we did that wouldn't be enough to suggest a lack of familiarity rather than a personal preference. The text from [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=2109:_Invisible_Formatting&diff=next&oldid=170285 this edit] is not encyclopedic and should stay out. [[User:JohnHawkinson|JohnHawkinson]] ([[User talk:JohnHawkinson|talk]]) 14:48, 4 March 2019 (UTC)

In LibreOffice Writer on Linux if I select a word with double-click it doesn't include the space, but if I select it with the keyboard using Ctrl+Shift+RightArrow it '''does''' include the space. In the comic it looks like the selection was made with the mouse, but it's not explicit. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.189.193|172.68.189.193]] 00:15, 11 July 2019 (UTC)

1247: The Mother of All Suspicious Files

2022-05-20T22:12:14Z

Aaron of Mpls: Undo revision 271101 by Explain xkcd server admin (talk) - reverting vandalism

{{comic
| number = 1247
| date = August 5, 2013
| title = The Mother of All Suspicious Files
| image = the_mother_of_all_suspicious_files.png
| titletext = Better change the URL to 'https' before downloading.
}}

==Explanation==
The save {{w|dialog box}} shows a download from the address <tt><nowiki>http://65.222.202.53</nowiki></tt>, an {{w|IP address}} that hosted {{w|JavaScript}} {{w|malware}} during a recent attack on the {{w|Tor anonymity network}}, with a very long file title. Many of the {{w|file extension|extensions}} used inside there indicate executable code; multiple file extensions are sometimes used to disguise a {{w|Trojan horse (computing)|trojan program}} as a document.

You can also see common download syntax for a pirated movie, {{w|Hackers (film)|''Hackers''}}, likely included to appear malicious to anyone skimming but is actually a movie about hackers, making it a benign reference rather than malicious. It is described as "<tt>_BLURAY_CAM</tt>", which contradicts itself ("<tt>_BLURAY</tt>" would imply it was ripped from a copy on {{w|Blu-ray Disc}}, while "<tt>_CAM</tt>" would mean it was copied by pointing a camera at the screen in the cinema). "<tt>_BLURAY_CAM</tt>" would probably indicate a search-keyword-stuffed fake copy; fake pirated media often contain viruses (although this is more likely to be a problem with newer media, before the first real pirated copy appears).

The {{w|URL}} contains the path "<tt>~tilde/pub/cia-bin/etc</tt>". The first part is a public folder of a user named "tilde" (which is also the name for the {{w|tilde|~ symbol}}), "<tt>cgi-bin</tt>" is a common folder on a web server for server-side executables ([[Randall]] changes the name to "<tt>[[CIA|cia]]-bin</tt>"), and "<tt>etc</tt>" is a standard folder for configuration files – normally never accessible through a web server. The program "init.dll" isn't executable at all, it's a {{w|Windows Dynamic Link Library}} which can't be run standalone, and is rarely referenced in URLs (even though such syntax is still being employed, even on [https://www.google.com/search?q=site:edu+filetype:dll reputable websites (Google search)] or here at [https://signin.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll eBay], indicating the webserver is a Microsoft {{w|Active Server Pages|ASP}} server). The question mark indicates the start of a parameter list, and in this case we have only one named "<tt>FILE</tt>".

The "Save" button is greyed out, suggesting that it is disabled; you can click only the "Cancel" button. For security reasons, some browsers (like Firefox) disable the "Save" button for a few seconds before enabling it. This prevents users from accidentally accepting a download while entering input, like a malicious CAPTCHA.

The complete content sent to the server, starting with "<tt>/~tilde...</tt>" and ending with "<tt>...out.exe</tt>", is exactly 256 characters long. On {{w|HTML 3}} specifications you have a limitation of 1024 characters, whereas later HTML specifications don't have this limit; it just depends on the web server's capabilities. But posting parameters directly at the URL is still a worse choice.

The content of the parameter is shown here:
*<tt>__</tt> (underscore underscore) — used in the {{w|C programming language}} to denote that a symbol is really not for public consumption.
*<tt>{{w|autoexec.bat}}</tt> — a {{w|batch file}} which is automatically run during startup on {{w|MS-DOS}} and {{w|Windows}} operating systems, and was often modified by viruses, which added malicious code to be run on each boot.
*<tt>My%20OSX%20Documents</tt> — referencing Apple's {{w|OS X}} operating system (<tt>{{w|URL encoding#Character data|%20}}</tt> is a representation of a space in a URL, i.e. it reads as "<tt>My OSX Documents</tt>").
*<tt>install.exe</tt> — a typical {{w|Installer#Installer|installer}}.
*<tt>{{w|RAR|.rar}}</tt> — a compressed archive file type.
*<tt>{{w|INI file|.ini}}</tt> — a configuration file type.
*<tt>{{w|Tar (computing)|.tar}}</tt> — a {{w|file}} archive popular in {{w|Unix}} and {{w|Unix-like}} operating systems. tar has been mentioned [[1168: tar|before]].
*<tt>.doçx</tt> — <tt>{{w|docx|.docx}}</tt> is an {{w|Office Open XML}} file, i.e. a word processing format used by {{w|Microsoft Word 2007}} and above, but has no {{w|cedilla}} (¸). The addition of a cedilla may be a reference to exploits that rely on rare characters being mistaken for more common ones that look similar, such as the {{w|IDN homograph attack}}.
*<tt>.phphphp</tt> — a play on {{w|PHP}} files, a kind of server-based web page file type. PHP originally stood for "Personal Home Page" but was later redefined as the recursive abbreviation "PHP: Hypertext Preprocessor".
*<tt>{{w|XHTML|.xhtml}}</tt> — another web page file type.
*<tt>{{w|TransducerML|.tml}}</tt> — stands for Transducer Markup Language, an {{w|XML}}-based {{w|markup language}} that specifies how to capture, time-tag and describe sensor data.
*<tt>.xtl</tt> — possibly a play on XHTML.
*<tt>.txxt</tt> — a play on <tt>{{w|Text file|.txt}}</tt> file types.
*<tt>0DAY.HACK</tt> — a reference to a {{w|zero-day exploit}}. (overlaps with the next entry)
*<tt>HACK.ERS_(1995)_BLURAY_CAM-XVID</tt> — a reference to the 1995 {{W|Hackers (film)|''Hackers''}} movie, but pirated movies would either be a <tt>BLURAYRIP/DVDRIP</tt> or <tt>CAM</tt>, but not both at the same time unless you used a camera to record a {{w|Blu-Ray}} movie as it played.
*<tt>{{w|EXE|.exe}}</tt> — an executable file type used by Microsoft Windows.
*<tt>[SCR]</tt> — a tag used by movie pirates to denote a '{{w|Screener}}', the DVD copy of films given to critics prior to theater release. Usually the highest quality available at the time, rare, and thus good bait for a virus-laden download. "{{w|.scr}}" is also the extension for screensaver files, really just an exe file with a different extension and one of the classical ways to distribute infected files.
*<tt>{{w|Lisp (programming language)|Lisp}}</tt> — programming language.
*<tt>{{w|Windows Installer|.msi}}</tt> — an installation file used by Microsoft Installer.
*<tt>{{w|.lnk}}</tt> — an extension used by Microsoft Windows for shortcuts. The extension is normally hidden to the user.
*<tt>.lnk.zda.gnn</tt> — references to {{w|Link (The Legend of Zelda)|Link}}, {{w|Princess Zelda|Zelda}}, and {{w|Ganon}}, important characters from ''{{w|The Legend of Zelda}}'' video game franchise.
*<tt>{{w|White Rabbit#Television and films|wrbt.obj}}</tt> — A reference to the line of code Dennis Nedry used in ''{{w|Jurassic Park}}'' to shut down key systems.
*<tt>{{w|Object file|.o}}</tt> — The extension for a {{w|Linker (computing)|linker file}}, an intermediary created when compiling {{w|C programming language|C code}}.
*<tt>{{w|Header file|.h}}</tt> — The file extension of a {{w|header file}} in C code.
*<tt>{{w|.swf}}</tt> — {{w|Shockwave Flash}} file type.
*<tt>{{w|Dpkg|.dpkg}}</tt> — The {{w|Debian}} package management, although the package files use the file suffix <tt>.deb</tt>.
*<tt>.app</tt> — an application on the {{w|Mac OS X}} operating system.
*<tt>{{w|ZIP (file format)|.zip}}</tt> — compressed archive file type.
*<tt>.co</tt> — the {{w|List of Internet top-level domains|top-level domain (TLD)}} for Colombia, but marketed as a global domain. Some countries use <tt>.co.''TLD''</tt> for general use, e.g. <tt>.co.uk</tt> in the United Kingdom. But the TLD <tt>.gz</tt> does not exist and thus <tt>.co.gz</tt> is invalid.
*<tt>{{w|Gzip|.gz}}</tt> — a compressed file using {{w|GNU}} zip.
*<tt>{{w|A.out|.a.out}}</tt> — Default filename when creating an executable on {{w|Linux}} or other Unix-like operating systems if none was specified for the compiler.

The title text suggests changing from <tt>http</tt> to <tt>https</tt>, as if encrypting a suspicious file before downloading it is somehow better than downloading it unencrypted. <tt>{{w|http}}</tt> (Hypertext Transfer Protocol) and <tt>{{w|https}}</tt> (Hypertext Transfer Protocol – Secure) are the two common protocols for getting web pages and web downloads. http is the simple download, whereas https adds an SSL encryption layer so the item being downloaded cannot be viewed unencrypted by anyone except the end recipient. Changing <tt>http</tt> to <tt>https</tt> is a common suggestion to improve security when browsing the web from an insecure network (such as a public {{w|WiFi}} hotspot) to avoid surveillance or hijacking to a malicious website; Google automatically switches to <tt>https</tt> for all mail accounts and is starting to do so with searches. The end recipient will still get whatever nasties were in the original, however — encrypting it doesn't change the content at all.

The {{w|IP address}} referenced in the comic, <tt>65.222.202.53</tt>, was, at the time this article was authored, being used by the shellcode of a {{w|JavaScript}} {{w|zero-day exploit}} for the {{w|Tor Browser Bundle}} being run by the {{w|FBI}} to phone home over the clearnet [http://thehackernews.com/2013/08/Firefox-Exploit-Tor-Network-child-pornography-Freedom-Hosting.html] and deanonymize visitors to websites on Freedom Hosting that are serving child pornography. [http://www.reddit.com/r/onions/comments/1jmrta/founder_of_the_freedom_hosting_arrested_held/]

As the last extension in the file is .exe, a Windows computer would run the file like an application. Usually, it is not safe to run unknown .exe files.

==Transcript==
:[Browser download warning box containing the following text.]
:WARNING!
:This type of file can harm your computer! Are you sure you want to download:
:<small><nowiki>http://65.222.202.53/~TILDE/PUB/CIA-BIN/ETC/INIT.DLL?FILE=__AUTOEXEC.BAT.MY%20OSX%20DOCUMENTS-INSTALL.EXE.RAR.INI.TAR.DOÇX.PHPHPHP.XHTML.TML.XTL.TXXT.0DAY.HACK.ERS_(1995)_BLURAY_CAM-XVID.EXE.TAR.[SCR].LISP.MSI.LNK.ZDA.GNN.WRBT.OBJ.O.H.SWF.DPKG.APP.ZIP.TAR.TAR.CO.GZ.A.OUT.EXE</nowiki></small>
:[Cancel and Save buttons (Save button disabled)]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Video games]]

2619: Crêpe

2022-05-15T09:22:46Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2619
| date = May 13, 2022
| title = Crêpe
| image = crepe.png
| titletext = A medicine that makes you put two dots over your letters more often is a diäretic.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a ÇRÊPË - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
[[File:crêpe.png|thumb|The word “crêpe” in the comic]]
[[Cueball]] has made a {{w|crêpe}}, a thin pancake known for its legendary status in French cuisine. When he says the word "crêpe," however, the {{w|circumflex}} above the "e" comes out odd. Instead of the usual simple angle (^), it looks more like the outline of a flattened arrowhead (<span style="text-fill-color: transparent; text-stroke: 1pt currentColor; -webkit-text-fill-color: transparent; -webkit-text-stroke: 1pt currentColor;">⮝</span>). [[Megan]], who can apparently see the text inside speech bubbles, comments on the odd shape with an appropriate pun. The comic is thus a play on the expression "Weird flex but OK" as defined in this ([https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Weird%20flex%20but%20ok Urban Dictionary]).

Her answer could also be applied to the shape of the crêpe, as circumflex means "bent around".

In some dialects of English (e.g. British English), and in the original French pronunciation, "crêpe" is said so that the ê is pronounced as in "get", i.e. "cr-eh-p", but American English speakers pronounce it like an "A", i.e. "cr-ay-p".

The title text continues the wordplay by saying that "A medicine that makes you put two dots over your letters more often is a diäretic".

The word diäretic is a pun on {{w|diuretic}} (a substance promoting increased urine production), {{w|Diaeresis (diacritic)|diaeresis}} (a symbol in the form of two dots placed above a vowel, as the ä in the made up word diäretic; the adjective form of diaeresis can be spelled "[https://www.thefreedictionary.com/Diaresis dieretic]") and {{w|diacritic}} (a glyph added to a letter to distinguish its sound from the normal version, what both the circumflex and the diaeresis are). See also the comic [[1647: Diacritics]] about the use of these. Taking a diäretic medicine would supposedly cause you to use diaeresis (also known as umlaut) över möre lëtters thän wöuld üsuallÿ bë thë cäse.

Diacritics are rarely used in English, potentially because of the diverse set of origin languages it developed from, or the wide variation of pronunciations within a same nation, but are a common feature of other languages. In English, they are normally only seen in specific loanwords (such as crêpe), used for emphasis or decoration (for example the {{w|metal umlaut}} seen in rock bands like {{w|Motörhead}}, {{w|Mötley Crüe}}, {{w|Queensrÿche}}, or {{w|Spın̈al Tap}}), or employed by intellectual newspapers like [https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/the-curse-of-the-diaeresis the New Yorker] to appear brainy.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is holding a plate up in both hand, showing Megan the crepe lying on the plate. His word for crêpe has a different diacritic over the "e" than the normal circumflex (^). Instead it looks more like an open arrow head.]
:Cueball: Check out this crêpe I made!
:Megan: Weird circumflex, but okay.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Food]]

2619: Crêpe

2022-05-15T09:21:42Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2619
| date = May 13, 2022
| title = Crêpe
| image = crepe.png
| titletext = A medicine that makes you put two dots over your letters more often is a diäretic.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a ÇRÊPË - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
[[File:crêpe.png|thumb|The word “crêpe” in the comic]]
[[Cueball]] has made a {{w|crêpe}}, a thin pancake known for its legendary status in French cuisine. When he says the word "crêpe," however, the {{w|circumflex}} above the "e" comes out odd. Instead of the usual simple angle (^), it looks more like the outline of a flattened arrowhead (<span style="text-fill-color: transparent; text-stroke: 1pt currentColor; -webkit-text-fill-color: transparent; -webkit-text-stroke: 1pt currentColor;">⮝</span>). [[Megan]], who can apparently see the text inside speech bubbles, comments on the odd shape with an appropriate pun. The comic is thus a play on the expression "Weird flex but OK" as defined in this ([https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Weird%20flex%20but%20ok Urban Dictionary]).

Her answer could also be applied to the shape of the crêpe, as circumflex means "bent around".

In some dialects of English (e.g. British English), and in the original French pronunciation, "crêpe" is said so that the ê is pronounced as in "get", i.e. "cr-eh-p", but American English speakers pronounce it like an "A", i.e. "cr-ay-p".

The title text continues the wordplay by saying that "A medicine that makes you put two dots over your letters more often is a diäretic".

The word diäretic is a pun on {{w|diuretic}} (a substance promoting increased urine production), {{w|Diaeresis (diacritic)|diaeresis}} (a symbol in the form of two dots placed above a vowel, as the ä in the made up word diäretic; the adjective form of diaeresis can be spelled "[https://www.thefreedictionary.com/Diaresis dieretic]") and {{w|diacritic}} (a glyph added to a letter to distinguish its sound from the normal version, what both the circumflex and the diaeresis are). See also the comic [[1647: Diacritics]] about the use of these. Taking a diäretic medicine would supposedly cause you to use diaeresis (also known as umlaut) över möre lëtters thän wöuld üsuallÿ bë thë cäse.

Diacritics are rarely used in English, potentially because of the diverse set of origin languages it developed from, or the wide variation of pronunciations within a same nation, but are a common feature of other languages. In English, they are normally only seen in specific loanwords (such as crêpe), used for emphasis or decoration (for example the {{w|metal umlaut}} seen in rock bands like {{w|Motörhead}}, {{w|Queensrÿche}}, or {{w|Spın̈al Tap}}), or employed by intellectual newspapers like [https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/the-curse-of-the-diaeresis the New Yorker] to appear brainy.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is holding a plate up in both hand, showing Megan the crepe lying on the plate. His word for crêpe has a different diacritic over the "e" than the normal circumflex (^). Instead it looks more like an open arrow head.]
:Cueball: Check out this crêpe I made!
:Megan: Weird circumflex, but okay.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Food]]

2619: Crêpe

2022-05-15T09:20:57Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Explanation */ reworded/reorganized sentence a bit; added more 'serious' examples of the metäl ümläut

{{comic
| number = 2619
| date = May 13, 2022
| title = Crêpe
| image = crepe.png
| titletext = A medicine that makes you put two dots over your letters more often is a diäretic.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a ÇRÊPË - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
[[File:crêpe.png|thumb|The word “crêpe” in the comic]]
[[Cueball]] has made a {{w|crêpe}}, a thin pancake known for its legendary status in French cuisine. When he says the word "crêpe," however, the {{w|circumflex}} above the "e" comes out odd. Instead of the usual simple angle (^), it looks more like the outline of a flattened arrowhead (<span style="text-fill-color: transparent; text-stroke: 1pt currentColor; -webkit-text-fill-color: transparent; -webkit-text-stroke: 1pt currentColor;">⮝</span>). [[Megan]], who can apparently see the text inside speech bubbles, comments on the odd shape with an appropriate pun. The comic is thus a play on the expression "Weird flex but OK" as defined in this ([https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Weird%20flex%20but%20ok Urban Dictionary]).

Her answer could also be applied to the shape of the crêpe, as circumflex means "bent around".

In some dialects of English (e.g. British English), and in the original French pronunciation, "crêpe" is said so that the ê is pronounced as in "get", i.e. "cr-eh-p", but American English speakers pronounce it like an "A", i.e. "cr-ay-p".

The title text continues the wordplay by saying that "A medicine that makes you put two dots over your letters more often is a diäretic".

The word diäretic is a pun on {{w|diuretic}} (a substance promoting increased urine production), {{w|Diaeresis (diacritic)|diaeresis}} (a symbol in the form of two dots placed above a vowel, as the ä in the made up word diäretic; the adjective form of diaeresis can be spelled "[https://www.thefreedictionary.com/Diaresis dieretic]") and {{w|diacritic}} (a glyph added to a letter to distinguish its sound from the normal version, what both the circumflex and the diaeresis are). See also the comic [[1647: Diacritics]] about the use of these. Taking a diäretic medicine would supposedly cause you to use diaeresis (also known as umlaut) över möre lëtters thän wöuld üsuallÿ bë thë cäse.

Diacritics are rarely used in English, potentially because of the diverse set of origin languages it developed from, or the wide variation of pronunciations within a same nation, but are a common feature of other languages. In English, they are normally only seen in specific loanwords (such as crêpe), used for emphasis or decoration (for example the {{w|metal umlaut}} seen in rock bands like {{w|Motörhead}}, {{w|Queensryche}}, or {{w|Spın̈al Tap}}), or employed by intellectual newspapers like [https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/the-curse-of-the-diaeresis the New Yorker] to appear brainy.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is holding a plate up in both hand, showing Megan the crepe lying on the plate. His word for crêpe has a different diacritic over the "e" than the normal circumflex (^). Instead it looks more like an open arrow head.]
:Cueball: Check out this crêpe I made!
:Megan: Weird circumflex, but okay.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Food]]

2564: Sunshield

2022-01-10T19:52:25Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Explanation */ linked #1378

{{comic
| number = 2564
| date = January 5, 2022
| title = Sunshield
| image = sunshield.png
| titletext = RIP the surface of Mars
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by THE BRILLIANCE OF THE JWST SCARRING THE FACE OF THIS WIKI- Please continue expanding and improving the explanation. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
JWST stands for {{w|James Webb Space Telescope}}, a space telescope that was launched 12 days prior to publication of this comic, see more details here [[2559: December 25th Launch]].

It has a {{w|James Webb Space Telescope sunshield|sunshield}} to protect its instruments from the heat of the sun and to keep them below 40 K (-233 °C/-388 °F). Deployment of the sunshield was completed the day before the comic was published. The JWST has to undergo a complex sequence of deployment steps to unfold parts that had to be packed tightly for launch. This sequence has 344 possible points of failure that would render the very expensive space telescope useless; 75% of them led up to the successful full deployment of the sunshield. Thus successful steps are widely celebrated, with this comic an example of such a celebration.

Ordinary cameras use a {{w|Flash (photography)|flash}} to take pictures in low-light situations. Outer space is very dark (one of the JWST's mission objectives will help astronomers calculate exactly [https://www.nasa.gov/feature/new-horizons-spacecraft-answers-question-how-dark-is-space how dark]), so this comic posits that the JWST has a very powerful flash to compensate for this. Most astronomical cameras don't use flash photography {{Citation needed}} -- they depend on the light either emitted by objects themselves (e.g., stars) or from nearby very bright objects (e.g., Solar System planets will reflect the Sun's light, while distant clouds of gas and dust may be largely illuminated by the light of supernovae or recently formed stars within or near them). A flash generally doesn't work for many reasons:
* It would take too long for the light of the flash to return to the telescope - at least twice the time that it had already taken for the original image to arrive on its own.
* The shutter in this comic operates (with a click) ''before'' the flash is emitted, so light from the flash wouldn't even reach the camera's {{w|photodetector}}. It is however possible that the camera is using a time exposure and that the shutter was still open when the flash occurred.
* Not enough 'flash' light would return due to it uselessly spreading in all directions. Instead, in a telescope mirrors and/or lenses focus the light, and long exposure times are used to collect enough of the current light to form a decent image.
* A flash powerful enough to overcome the previous difficulty would have to be inordinately powerful. This would raise significant questions about powering it, its destructive effect on JWST, and its damage to (or at least disturbance of) many of the things the flash would be able to illuminate.
* The objects and phenomena of interest of JWST are, by dint of their extreme distance, being seen as they were in the early stages of the universe, and emit light that potentially gives vital clues about that era, only marginally this side of the current visible-horizon of our apparently expanding universe. Should our flash ever reach them (assuming they still exist) and we have the patience to await the return (assuming ''we'' still exist), this will only reveal the much older versions of whatever they have become and only in the form of light that we have swamped them with.
* Before this, any intervening civilization that possesses (or can still develop) the necessary capabilities will have at the very least responded, if not retaliated, to the original flash. Their response might be far less humorous.

There are some examples of astronomical research done using things similar to a flash. {{w|Radar astronomy}} involves emitting radio waves (microwaves) that bounce off distant planets, asteroids, comets, etc., and analyzing the returned waves. The {{w|Lunar Laser Ranging experiment}} uses lasers, which are loosely related to flashes for photography, to measure the distance between Earth and Moon. The outward light is concentrated upon the approximate area of the lunar target, which employs an {{w|Retroreflector|optical trick}} to send most of that which actually struck it back to the approximate area of the source equipment.

The comic assigns the sunshield a new, comical purpose of shielding the Sun (and Earth ,which is roughly in the same direction as the Sun, due to the deployment at the {{w|Lagrange point|L2 Lagrange point}}) from this flash, rather than the other way around. When the camera is taking a picture, the comic shows space in front of the shield lit up while there is a totally dark shadow behind the shield (in the direction of Earth and Sun).

The comic also has the camera making a "click" sound. In traditional mechanical cameras, this sound comes from the {{w|Shutter (photography|shutter}} opening and closing, and digital cameras mimic this sound so the user (and subject, when human) knows when the picture is being taken. JWST won't actually click -- it doesn't have a shutter, as it takes long-exposure digital images, and [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078748/taglines in space no one can hear you click].

The telescope also tells the universe to smile for the picture. The universe doesn't have a mouth to smile with{{Citation needed}}, although there are a number of features both on Solar System objects and in deep space that look like faces; this is a phenomenon called {{w|pareidolia}}. The most well known is the {{w|Man in the Moon}}, but there are numerous others both in the [https://www.universetoday.com/121551/faces-of-the-solar-system/ Solar system], most famous is probably the {{w|Cydonia (Mars)|Face on Mars}} and out among the galaxies, like the [https://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap151127.html Cheshire Cat galaxy group] named after the {{w|Cheshire_Cat#In_science|Cheshire Cat}} from {{w|Alice's Adventures in Wonderland|Alice in Wonderland}}.

The title text suggests that, due to the sunshield not being angled to shield Mars, Mars's surface has been badly scarred by the flash. This implies ''incredible'' strength of the flash, perhaps to ensure the light can return from its destinations, comparable to {{tvtropes|KillSat|death-ray satellites}} in fiction.

There is an interesting parallel to [[1378:_Turbine|xkcd #1378 ("Turbine")]] in which the wind turbine must correct Megan by explaining that it is "not a huge fan". The turbine is meant to absorb energy from wind, not propel it outwards; the same goes for JWST and light in 2564.

==Transcript==
:[The James Webb Space Telescope (JWST) is floating through space, shown in white on a pitch black background. The two mirrors are seen in front of the sunshield, which is kite shaped. A white line goes from the telescope up to two lines of white text, connected with a small white line.]
:JWST: Okay, universe-
:JWST: Smile!

:[Same setting, but now only a small thin white line goes up to a line of white text representing a sound made by the telescope.]
:JWST: ''Click''

:[Same setting, but now it turns out that a small bulb on the front of the telescope is a flash light. A bright flash glows from the bulb, turning most of the panel white. A cone on the left side is blocked and kept pitch black by the telescope's sunshield. The light fades a bit towards the edges of the picture, giving the light cone a rounded appearance. Thus the image actually looks a lot like Pac-Man in the process of eating the telescope.]

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Astronomy fact: The purpose of the JWST sunshield is to protect the Sun and the Earth from the telescope's powerful flash.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Facts]]
[[Category:Space probes]]
[[Category:Telescopes]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Space]]

2014: JWST Delays

2021-12-06T22:50:35Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Explanation */ COVID note

<noinclude>:''"2014", this comic's number, redirects here. For the comic named "2014", see [[1311: 2014]].''</noinclude>
{{comic
| number = 2014
| date = July 2, 2018
| title = JWST Delays
| image = jwst_delays.png
| titletext = Since delays should get less likely closer to the launch, most astronomers in 2018 believed the expansion of the schedule was slowing, but by early 2020 new measurements indicated that it was actually accelerating.
}}

==Explanation==

The {{w|James Webb Space Telescope}} (JWST) is a {{w|space telescope}} created to be the successor of the {{w|Hubble Space Telescope}}.

The telescope has been in development since 1996, but has been plagued by numerous delays and cost overruns. This comic was likely inspired by the most recent [https://nasa.gov/press-release/nasa-completes-webb-telescope-review-commits-to-launch-in-early-2021 delay announcement], which was posted on June 27, 2018. At that time, the JWST was scheduled to launch on March 30, 2021. In July 2020, this was pushed back further to October 31, 2021 due to the coronavirus pandemic. In June 2021, it was announced that the launch day is likely slip to at least mid-November 2021. On September 8, 2021, ESA announced that the official planned launch date is [https://www.esa.int/Science_Exploration/Space_Science/Webb/Targeted_launch_date_for_Webb_18_December_2021 December 18, 2021.] On November 22, 2021, NASA announced that the official planned launch date was delayed by four days to December 22, 2021, following a problem encountered when mating JWST to its payload adapter.

This comic portrays the launch delays and the new predicted launch years and the times at which those predictions were made. There have been so many delays in this project that you can plot a line of best fit with a surprisingly high degree of accuracy. Randall says optimistically that the line’s slope is less than one (there is less than one year of ''new'' delay per year of elapsed time), implying, of course, that if events continue without further intervention, it will eventually be built, with a predicted date of late 2026.

The title text alludes to the famous research over the {{w|Accelerating expansion of the universe|universe’s accelerating expansion}}. The expansion had been predicted to be slowing due to gravity from everything in the universe; instead, it was found to be accelerating since about 5 billion years ago. Here, Randall looks at the apparently ever-delaying schedule and observes that the delay per time does not decrease, although the date gets nearer (which should help to schedule the launch date, as research and unknown parameters are replaced with engineering and exact predictions and measurements). However, this delay inflation contradicts Randall's usage of a linear trendline. Given the {{w|COVID-19 pandemic}} brought some additional delays in 2020 and 2021, the "early 2020" date was perhaps unintentionally prescient.

The Wikipedia article linked above includes a {{w|James Webb Space Telescope#Cost and schedule issues|table}} which provides the data points for the chart:

{| class=wikitable
! width=35 | Year !! Planned<br />launch !! Time left<br />(years)
|-
| 1997 || 2007 || 10
|-
| 1998 || 2007 || 9
|-
| 1999 || 2007 to 2008 || 8-9
|-
| 2000 || 2009 || 9
|-
| 2002 || 2010 || 8
|-
| 2003 || 2011 || 8
|-
| 2005 || 2013 || 8
|-
| 2006 || 2014 || 8
|-
| 2008 || 2014 || 6
|-
| 2010 || 2015 to 2016 || 5-6
|-
| 2011 || 2018 || 7
|-
| 2013 || 2018 || 5
|-
| 2017 || 2019 || 2
|-
|2018 || 2020 || 2
|-
|2018 || 2021 || 3
|-
|2020 || 2021 || 1
|-
|2021 || 2021 || 0
|}

==Transcript==
:[Top caption, in the panel:]
:James Webb Space Telescope
:[Subtitle of top caption:]
:Launch Delays

:[There is a positive-quadrant only line graph. The x- axis is labeled 'Current Date' and the y axis is labeled 'Planned Launch Date'. The dates on both of the axes range from 1995 to 2030.]
:[In the graph are 15 points, starting at (1997,2007) and extending at a slope of a little less than one. The most recent one is labeled 'Now: 2021'.]
:[There are two lines on the graph: a red one and a dashed black one. The red one is a regression of the points on the graph. It has a slope of about ⅔. The black one is a line with a slope of one. They intersect at the point (2026,2026), marked by the label 'Late 2026'?]

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Look, at least the slope is less than one.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Space probes]]
[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Extrapolation]]

2014: JWST Delays

2021-12-06T22:44:42Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Explanation */ more about the expansion of the universe; slight re-wording to tie it in

<noinclude>:''"2014", this comic's number, redirects here. For the comic named "2014", see [[1311: 2014]].''</noinclude>
{{comic
| number = 2014
| date = July 2, 2018
| title = JWST Delays
| image = jwst_delays.png
| titletext = Since delays should get less likely closer to the launch, most astronomers in 2018 believed the expansion of the schedule was slowing, but by early 2020 new measurements indicated that it was actually accelerating.
}}

==Explanation==

The {{w|James Webb Space Telescope}} (JWST) is a {{w|space telescope}} created to be the successor of the {{w|Hubble Space Telescope}}.

The telescope has been in development since 1996, but has been plagued by numerous delays and cost overruns. This comic was likely inspired by the most recent [https://nasa.gov/press-release/nasa-completes-webb-telescope-review-commits-to-launch-in-early-2021 delay announcement], which was posted on June 27, 2018. At that time, the JWST was scheduled to launch on March 30, 2021. In July 2020, this was pushed back further to October 31, 2021 due to the coronavirus pandemic. In June 2021, it was announced that the launch day is likely slip to at least mid-November 2021. On September 8, 2021, ESA announced that the official planned launch date is [https://www.esa.int/Science_Exploration/Space_Science/Webb/Targeted_launch_date_for_Webb_18_December_2021 December 18, 2021.] On November 22, 2021, NASA announced that the official planned launch date was delayed by four days to December 22, 2021, following a problem encountered when mating JWST to its payload adapter.

This comic portrays the launch delays and the new predicted launch years and the times at which those predictions were made. There have been so many delays in this project that you can plot a line of best fit with a surprisingly high degree of accuracy. Randall says optimistically that the line’s slope is less than one (there is less than one year of ''new'' delay per year of elapsed time), implying, of course, that if events continue without further intervention, it will eventually be built, with a predicted date of late 2026.

The title text alludes to the famous research over the {{w|Accelerating expansion of the universe|universe’s accelerating expansion}}. The expansion had been predicted to be slowing due to gravity from everything in the universe; instead, it was found to be accelerating since about 5 billion years ago. Here, Randall looks at the apparently ever-delaying schedule and observes that the delay per time does not decrease, although the date gets nearer (which should help to schedule the launch date, as research and unknown parameters are replaced with engineering and exact predictions and measurements). However, this delay inflation contradicts Randall's usage of a linear trendline.

The Wikipedia article linked above includes a {{w|James Webb Space Telescope#Cost and schedule issues|table}} which provides the data points for the chart:

{| class=wikitable
! width=35 | Year !! Planned<br />launch !! Time left<br />(years)
|-
| 1997 || 2007 || 10
|-
| 1998 || 2007 || 9
|-
| 1999 || 2007 to 2008 || 8-9
|-
| 2000 || 2009 || 9
|-
| 2002 || 2010 || 8
|-
| 2003 || 2011 || 8
|-
| 2005 || 2013 || 8
|-
| 2006 || 2014 || 8
|-
| 2008 || 2014 || 6
|-
| 2010 || 2015 to 2016 || 5-6
|-
| 2011 || 2018 || 7
|-
| 2013 || 2018 || 5
|-
| 2017 || 2019 || 2
|-
|2018 || 2020 || 2
|-
|2018 || 2021 || 3
|-
|2020 || 2021 || 1
|-
|2021 || 2021 || 0
|}

==Transcript==
:[Top caption, in the panel:]
:James Webb Space Telescope
:[Subtitle of top caption:]
:Launch Delays

:[There is a positive-quadrant only line graph. The x- axis is labeled 'Current Date' and the y axis is labeled 'Planned Launch Date'. The dates on both of the axes range from 1995 to 2030.]
:[In the graph are 15 points, starting at (1997,2007) and extending at a slope of a little less than one. The most recent one is labeled 'Now: 2021'.]
:[There are two lines on the graph: a red one and a dashed black one. The red one is a regression of the points on the graph. It has a slope of about ⅔. The black one is a line with a slope of one. They intersect at the point (2026,2026), marked by the label 'Late 2026'?]

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Look, at least the slope is less than one.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Space probes]]
[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Extrapolation]]

Talk:1643: Degrees

2021-07-23T19:10:54Z

Aaron of Mpls: no-break spaces between units and numbers

Rankine is a good compromise. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.56.65|173.245.56.65]] 14:11, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

0.173 rad = 10°. Now it could be 10°C (50°F) or 10°F (-12°C).--[[Special:Contributions/108.162.228.113|108.162.228.113]] 14:14, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

It should probably be noted that since 0.173 radians is equal to around 9.91 degrees, the temperature that Cueball gave is likely in 'radians Celsius', since 9.91 degrees Farenheit would be an unlikely temperature to occur, unless they're somewhere like Canada or northern Russia --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.152.59|162.158.152.59]] 14:17, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:It would appear that that's already been noted since I started writing that comment. Ignore me. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.152.59|162.158.152.59]] 14:18, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
::It would appear you're not in New England. Temperature last night -14°F = -26°C = -0.244 rad F = -0.556 rad C. But others have noted this as well. [[User:Bob Stein - VisiBone|Bob Stein - VisiBone]] ([[User talk:Bob Stein - VisiBone|talk]]) 23:41, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:::Even Manhattan, New York reached [http://www.wunderground.com/history/airport/KNYC/2016/2/14/DailyHistory.html -0.9°F] on Sunday, the first time it's been [http://www.weather.gov/media/okx/Climate/CentralPark/Below0DegreeDays.pdf below 0°F] there in a generation. We came within [http://www.weather.gov/media/okx/Climate/CentralPark/BiggestSnowstorms.pdf 1 part in 269] of tying the 2006 record for biggest snowstorm 3 weeks before this, broke the record for latest frost by 12 days with bitter cold 3 weeks before that, had cherry blossoms suicidally bloom on Christmas 10 days before that (because they thought it's spring) and that whole month was twice as many degrees above [http://www.weather.gov/media/okx/Climate/CentralPark/nycnormals.pdf normal] as the [http://www.weather.gov/media/okx/Climate/CentralPark/warmcoldmonths.pdf previous record warmest December]. We also broke the record for warmest November and September a few months ago. This is called [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/global_weirding global weirding.] <small>(the more accurate name for global warming)</small> [[Special:Contributions/199.27.129.11|199.27.129.11]] 04:28, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

Guys, we moved away from the Réaumur-scale: You can do the same for the Fahrenheit :-). --[[User:DaB.|DaB.]] ([[User talk:DaB.|talk]]) 14:20, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
: And we all moved away from the Rømer scale (what Reumer and Fahrenheit were both based on), 0F is 0Rø, 100C/80Reu is 80Rø). We even moved from the 100C-0C to 0C-100C since Celsius was a (half) crazy Swedish scientist who thought Reumer made sense if it was based on 100 instead of 80, and 100 was the freezing point (everybody ignores the second part of his scale).[[Special:Contributions/162.158.114.222|162.158.114.222]] 17:07, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:: {{w|Ole_Rømer|Rømer}} was {{w|Danish}} -- Calling him Sweedish is an insult -- kind if the same insult as calling Cruz Canadian [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 17:14, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:::Then it was great that it was Celsius who was called a ''crazy Swedish scientist'' above, (and he was Swedish). Rømer is luckily more known for making the first quantitative measurements of the speed of light and not for his failed temperature scale. (I'm from Denmark and like the light part: He measured the hesitation of light ;-) --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 21:31, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

I'm pretty sure the only people who could possibly find "Fahrenheit" easier to spell than "Celsius" are those whose first written language was German. [[User:Promethean|Promethean]] ([[User talk:Promethean|talk]]) 01:31, 17 February 2016 (UTC)

Considering how cold New England is today, I'm pretty sure it's Fahrenheit. {{unsigned ip|108.162.218.71}}

Temperature is given in F. Look at which month it is. And how this is a darn cold winter (at least in Canada). [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.43|108.162.216.43]] 14:32, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
: its currently 10F in the Boston area where Randall lives.
:: For people from the future, see [https://www.wunderground.com/history/airport/KBOS/2016/2/15/DailyHistory.html?req_city=Somerville&req_state=MA&reqdb.zip=02143&reqdb.magic=1&reqdb.wmo=99999 this historical data page for the day the comic was released] --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.214.59|108.162.214.59]] 19:00, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
::: Thanks, 108.162.214.59 and others! At that time of year, ''either'' temperature would be possible in Boston, Massachusetts -- 10°F (-12°C) during a cold night or a strong cold snap; 10°C (50°F) during a midwinter thaw. --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 01:19, 19 July 2020 (UTC)

What's with the "We lost a Mars probe over this" remark? [[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.113|141.101.104.113]] 14:33, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
: One of the Mars probes crashed into Mars because one of the NASA contractors was using US Customary units instead of SI units. [[User:Blaisepascal|Blaisepascal]] ([[User talk:Blaisepascal|talk]]) 14:39, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:: Is there a reference for this ?? [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 17:17, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
::: It was the Mars Climate Orbiter, it crashed in 1999 because software supplied by Lockheed Martin produced results in US customary units even though the specs called for metrics units. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mars_Climate_Orbiter [[User:Martin|Martin]] ([[User talk:Martin|talk]]) 22:04, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

:The mars probe remark is in reference to a mistake in switching navigational numbers from American standard to metric (namely in that they didn't) which caused the probe to slam into the surface of mars. If I remember correctly that is.[[Special:Contributions/108.162.238.78|108.162.238.78]] 14:43, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:: I remember when this happened, thinking "OK, Lockheed, time to get out your checkbook and cough up the entire cost of that probe and launch," though I expect their bought-and-paid-for pet legislators made sure that didn't happen. [[User:Miamiclay|Miamiclay]] ([[User talk:Miamiclay|talk]]) 21:23, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

I used to think that physicists prefer Kelvin, which is of course sort of based on Celsius. [[User:Jkrstrt|Jkrstrt]] ([[User talk:Jkrstrt|talk]]) 15:28, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:If you're measuring a temperature ''difference'', which I think is a far more common thing than an absolute temperature, then the two are completely interchangeable. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.186|108.162.219.186]] 14:41, 21 July 2021 (UTC)

If he used Radians Fahrenheit, then 1 would be very close to earth's historical mean temperature for the period 1951 to 1980. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.55.64|173.245.55.64]] 16:19, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
: That sounds like it could almost be useful.... What is the temperature on the surface on the sun in Radians ? [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 17:20, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:: 96.08 [https://www.google.com/search?q=5505+degrees+in+radians radians] [https://www.google.com/search?q=temperature+of+surface+of+sun+in+degrees+Celsius Celsius], or 173.5 [https://www.google.com/search?q=9941+degrees+in+radians radians] [https://www.google.com/search?q=temperature+of+surface+of+sun+in+degrees+Fahrenheit Fahrenheit]. --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.214.59|108.162.214.59]] 19:00, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

"Easier to spell"? When editing, I had to correct myself from "Celcius" to "Celsius". I never get Fahrenheit wrong! [[User:Cosmogoblin|Cosmogoblin]] ([[User talk:Cosmogoblin|talk]]) 20:55, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

Can someone explain to me why Fahrenheit's scale is so much more popular across the Atlantic than in his home <s>city</s> <s>country</s> continent? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.102.219|162.158.102.219]] 21:37, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:Same reason that the British used it. It was there. Unlike the Brits the US just never got around to change it [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 02:18, 16 February 2016 (UTC)
:: As a Brit. I love it that the US was at one point the last bastion of the BTU (British Thermal Unit), I still see 17th century measures in some farming contexts - bushels though I think we both still agree that "Acres" are a much better measure area than the soul-destroying "hectare". :) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.34.147|162.158.34.147]] 08:22, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

Not being an instinctive science type, and on a tiny screen, I initially read the comic as "51 prefixes," and thought to myself "I could probably get from peta- to pico- in my head, but there are really 51 of those?" [[User:Miamiclay|Miamiclay]] ([[User talk:Miamiclay|talk]]) 02:46, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

Maybe one should include the explanation why both angles and temperature use the term "degree". "Degree" in measurement means, that the definition comes from a partition of a known interval. For angles, that is "a full circle is 360 degrees" and for temperature in Celsius that is "100°C is the range from freezing to boiling water". That is historical, because modern SI units are defined in terms of partitions as well.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.90.163|162.158.90.163]] 10:23, 16 February 2016 (UTC)
: I'm not a linguist, but I think that it to a certain degree (!) just means "partial", "part" or "step" -- I can agree with you partially by which I will agree with you to a degree -- any scale can in a similar degree be broken up where each part is a degree closer to the full outcome -- so in Temperature a degree is a step toward boiling, and your Masters degree is a step beyond your Bachelor towards your Doctoral degree -- in short it is to some degree just a duhdah word representing nothing but makes it easier to form a sentence around an abstract concept [[Special:Contributions/162.158.255.109|162.158.255.109]] 20:28, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

talking about weird us customs/units i think the way trailers and such specify release dates by season is terrible. 1. there are 2 hemispheres 2. internationally seasons may vary and it is rarely specified if its north or south seasons [[Special:Contributions/162.158.177.185|162.158.177.185]] 06:37, 17 February 2016 (UTC)

Personally, I like to give temperature in meV/particle [[User:Edo|Edo]] ([[User talk:Edo|talk]]) 14:29, 17 February 2016 (UTC)
: Do you mean MeV per non-frozen degree of freedom? The nitrogen in room-temperature air carries five-sixths the MeV/atom as argon in the same air at the same temperature. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.9|108.162.216.9]] 00:21, 18 February 2016 (UTC)
: So he should have said 22.48 meV. I also prefer that as temperature shouldn't really a "base unit"

Haha, "degree of correlation". Nice. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.58.9|162.158.58.9]] 10:34, 27 December 2016 (UTC)

Wouldn't a physics major be more likely to be loyal to the Kelvin scale than to Celsius? Heck, even the Rankine scale is more scientific than celsius; it's by far the least popular of the four, but it's still more scientific than celsius due to the fact that it starts at absolute zero like Kelvin does

Another "benefit" for Fahrenheit is that it is more precise. That is, each change in degree Fahrenheit is a smaller change in temperature, so you can be a bit more precise without needing to add digits after a decimal point. I also find it noteworthy that there are 180 degrees (Fahrenheit) between freezing and boiling. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fahrenheit#History This is not coincidence], but was explicitly decided by a committee in 1776. Clearly, the choice of 180 degrees is related to a half-circle, so it almost makes sense to talk about "radians Fahrenheit", where the difference between boiling and freezing is pi. [[User:Shamino|Shamino]] ([[User talk:Shamino|talk]]) 14:03, 3 June 2020 (UTC)

When talking about US Customary versus Imperial units, is it worth mentioning that the US units are similar to the English units that were used in Britain before the Imperial system was introduced in 1824? US units mirrored British units of the late 18th century, but they didn't change in 1824 because they were already independent by that time. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.156|108.162.219.156]] 14:44, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
: So I see. US units were based largely on the pre-Imperial "[[wikipedia:Winchester measure|Winchester measure]]" units. Though since the late 1800s, US units have been defined in terms of metric units (e.g., 1 inch = 25.4 mm exactly). --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 19:06, 23 July 2021 (UTC)

Talk:1643: Degrees

2021-07-23T19:08:41Z

Aaron of Mpls: link formatting (forgot to preview)

Rankine is a good compromise. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.56.65|173.245.56.65]] 14:11, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

0.173 rad = 10°. Now it could be 10°C (50°F) or 10°F (-12°C).--[[Special:Contributions/108.162.228.113|108.162.228.113]] 14:14, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

It should probably be noted that since 0.173 radians is equal to around 9.91 degrees, the temperature that Cueball gave is likely in 'radians Celsius', since 9.91 degrees Farenheit would be an unlikely temperature to occur, unless they're somewhere like Canada or northern Russia --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.152.59|162.158.152.59]] 14:17, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:It would appear that that's already been noted since I started writing that comment. Ignore me. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.152.59|162.158.152.59]] 14:18, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
::It would appear you're not in New England. Temperature last night -14°F = -26°C = -0.244 rad F = -0.556 rad C. But others have noted this as well. [[User:Bob Stein - VisiBone|Bob Stein - VisiBone]] ([[User talk:Bob Stein - VisiBone|talk]]) 23:41, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:::Even Manhattan, New York reached [http://www.wunderground.com/history/airport/KNYC/2016/2/14/DailyHistory.html -0.9°F] on Sunday, the first time it's been [http://www.weather.gov/media/okx/Climate/CentralPark/Below0DegreeDays.pdf below 0°F] there in a generation. We came within [http://www.weather.gov/media/okx/Climate/CentralPark/BiggestSnowstorms.pdf 1 part in 269] of tying the 2006 record for biggest snowstorm 3 weeks before this, broke the record for latest frost by 12 days with bitter cold 3 weeks before that, had cherry blossoms suicidally bloom on Christmas 10 days before that (because they thought it's spring) and that whole month was twice as many degrees above [http://www.weather.gov/media/okx/Climate/CentralPark/nycnormals.pdf normal] as the [http://www.weather.gov/media/okx/Climate/CentralPark/warmcoldmonths.pdf previous record warmest December]. We also broke the record for warmest November and September a few months ago. This is called [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/global_weirding global weirding.] <small>(the more accurate name for global warming)</small> [[Special:Contributions/199.27.129.11|199.27.129.11]] 04:28, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

Guys, we moved away from the Réaumur-scale: You can do the same for the Fahrenheit :-). --[[User:DaB.|DaB.]] ([[User talk:DaB.|talk]]) 14:20, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
: And we all moved away from the Rømer scale (what Reumer and Fahrenheit were both based on), 0F is 0Rø, 100C/80Reu is 80Rø). We even moved from the 100C-0C to 0C-100C since Celsius was a (half) crazy Swedish scientist who thought Reumer made sense if it was based on 100 instead of 80, and 100 was the freezing point (everybody ignores the second part of his scale).[[Special:Contributions/162.158.114.222|162.158.114.222]] 17:07, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:: {{w|Ole_Rømer|Rømer}} was {{w|Danish}} -- Calling him Sweedish is an insult -- kind if the same insult as calling Cruz Canadian [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 17:14, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:::Then it was great that it was Celsius who was called a ''crazy Swedish scientist'' above, (and he was Swedish). Rømer is luckily more known for making the first quantitative measurements of the speed of light and not for his failed temperature scale. (I'm from Denmark and like the light part: He measured the hesitation of light ;-) --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 21:31, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

I'm pretty sure the only people who could possibly find "Fahrenheit" easier to spell than "Celsius" are those whose first written language was German. [[User:Promethean|Promethean]] ([[User talk:Promethean|talk]]) 01:31, 17 February 2016 (UTC)

Considering how cold New England is today, I'm pretty sure it's Fahrenheit. {{unsigned ip|108.162.218.71}}

Temperature is given in F. Look at which month it is. And how this is a darn cold winter (at least in Canada). [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.43|108.162.216.43]] 14:32, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
: its currently 10F in the Boston area where Randall lives.
:: For people from the future, see [https://www.wunderground.com/history/airport/KBOS/2016/2/15/DailyHistory.html?req_city=Somerville&req_state=MA&reqdb.zip=02143&reqdb.magic=1&reqdb.wmo=99999 this historical data page for the day the comic was released] --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.214.59|108.162.214.59]] 19:00, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
::: Thanks, 108.162.214.59 and others! At that time of year, ''either'' temperature would be possible in Boston, Massachusetts -- 10°F (-12°C) during a cold night or a strong cold snap; 10°C (50°F) during a midwinter thaw. --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 01:19, 19 July 2020 (UTC)

What's with the "We lost a Mars probe over this" remark? [[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.113|141.101.104.113]] 14:33, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
: One of the Mars probes crashed into Mars because one of the NASA contractors was using US Customary units instead of SI units. [[User:Blaisepascal|Blaisepascal]] ([[User talk:Blaisepascal|talk]]) 14:39, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:: Is there a reference for this ?? [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 17:17, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
::: It was the Mars Climate Orbiter, it crashed in 1999 because software supplied by Lockheed Martin produced results in US customary units even though the specs called for metrics units. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mars_Climate_Orbiter [[User:Martin|Martin]] ([[User talk:Martin|talk]]) 22:04, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

:The mars probe remark is in reference to a mistake in switching navigational numbers from American standard to metric (namely in that they didn't) which caused the probe to slam into the surface of mars. If I remember correctly that is.[[Special:Contributions/108.162.238.78|108.162.238.78]] 14:43, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:: I remember when this happened, thinking "OK, Lockheed, time to get out your checkbook and cough up the entire cost of that probe and launch," though I expect their bought-and-paid-for pet legislators made sure that didn't happen. [[User:Miamiclay|Miamiclay]] ([[User talk:Miamiclay|talk]]) 21:23, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

I used to think that physicists prefer Kelvin, which is of course sort of based on Celsius. [[User:Jkrstrt|Jkrstrt]] ([[User talk:Jkrstrt|talk]]) 15:28, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:If you're measuring a temperature ''difference'', which I think is a far more common thing than an absolute temperature, then the two are completely interchangeable. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.186|108.162.219.186]] 14:41, 21 July 2021 (UTC)

If he used Radians Fahrenheit, then 1 would be very close to earth's historical mean temperature for the period 1951 to 1980. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.55.64|173.245.55.64]] 16:19, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
: That sounds like it could almost be useful.... What is the temperature on the surface on the sun in Radians ? [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 17:20, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:: 96.08 [https://www.google.com/search?q=5505+degrees+in+radians radians] [https://www.google.com/search?q=temperature+of+surface+of+sun+in+degrees+Celsius Celsius], or 173.5 [https://www.google.com/search?q=9941+degrees+in+radians radians] [https://www.google.com/search?q=temperature+of+surface+of+sun+in+degrees+Fahrenheit Fahrenheit]. --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.214.59|108.162.214.59]] 19:00, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

"Easier to spell"? When editing, I had to correct myself from "Celcius" to "Celsius". I never get Fahrenheit wrong! [[User:Cosmogoblin|Cosmogoblin]] ([[User talk:Cosmogoblin|talk]]) 20:55, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

Can someone explain to me why Fahrenheit's scale is so much more popular across the Atlantic than in his home <s>city</s> <s>country</s> continent? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.102.219|162.158.102.219]] 21:37, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:Same reason that the British used it. It was there. Unlike the Brits the US just never got around to change it [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 02:18, 16 February 2016 (UTC)
:: As a Brit. I love it that the US was at one point the last bastion of the BTU (British Thermal Unit), I still see 17th century measures in some farming contexts - bushels though I think we both still agree that "Acres" are a much better measure area than the soul-destroying "hectare". :) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.34.147|162.158.34.147]] 08:22, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

Not being an instinctive science type, and on a tiny screen, I initially read the comic as "51 prefixes," and thought to myself "I could probably get from peta- to pico- in my head, but there are really 51 of those?" [[User:Miamiclay|Miamiclay]] ([[User talk:Miamiclay|talk]]) 02:46, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

Maybe one should include the explanation why both angles and temperature use the term "degree". "Degree" in measurement means, that the definition comes from a partition of a known interval. For angles, that is "a full circle is 360 degrees" and for temperature in Celsius that is "100°C is the range from freezing to boiling water". That is historical, because modern SI units are defined in terms of partitions as well.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.90.163|162.158.90.163]] 10:23, 16 February 2016 (UTC)
: I'm not a linguist, but I think that it to a certain degree (!) just means "partial", "part" or "step" -- I can agree with you partially by which I will agree with you to a degree -- any scale can in a similar degree be broken up where each part is a degree closer to the full outcome -- so in Temperature a degree is a step toward boiling, and your Masters degree is a step beyond your Bachelor towards your Doctoral degree -- in short it is to some degree just a duhdah word representing nothing but makes it easier to form a sentence around an abstract concept [[Special:Contributions/162.158.255.109|162.158.255.109]] 20:28, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

talking about weird us customs/units i think the way trailers and such specify release dates by season is terrible. 1. there are 2 hemispheres 2. internationally seasons may vary and it is rarely specified if its north or south seasons [[Special:Contributions/162.158.177.185|162.158.177.185]] 06:37, 17 February 2016 (UTC)

Personally, I like to give temperature in meV/particle [[User:Edo|Edo]] ([[User talk:Edo|talk]]) 14:29, 17 February 2016 (UTC)
: Do you mean MeV per non-frozen degree of freedom? The nitrogen in room-temperature air carries five-sixths the MeV/atom as argon in the same air at the same temperature. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.9|108.162.216.9]] 00:21, 18 February 2016 (UTC)
: So he should have said 22.48 meV. I also prefer that as temperature shouldn't really a "base unit"

Haha, "degree of correlation". Nice. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.58.9|162.158.58.9]] 10:34, 27 December 2016 (UTC)

Wouldn't a physics major be more likely to be loyal to the Kelvin scale than to Celsius? Heck, even the Rankine scale is more scientific than celsius; it's by far the least popular of the four, but it's still more scientific than celsius due to the fact that it starts at absolute zero like Kelvin does

Another "benefit" for Fahrenheit is that it is more precise. That is, each change in degree Fahrenheit is a smaller change in temperature, so you can be a bit more precise without needing to add digits after a decimal point. I also find it noteworthy that there are 180 degrees (Fahrenheit) between freezing and boiling. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fahrenheit#History This is not coincidence], but was explicitly decided by a committee in 1776. Clearly, the choice of 180 degrees is related to a half-circle, so it almost makes sense to talk about "radians Fahrenheit", where the difference between boiling and freezing is pi. [[User:Shamino|Shamino]] ([[User talk:Shamino|talk]]) 14:03, 3 June 2020 (UTC)

When talking about US Customary versus Imperial units, is it worth mentioning that the US units are similar to the English units that were used in Britain before the Imperial system was introduced in 1824? US units mirrored British units of the late 18th century, but they didn't change in 1824 because they were already independent by that time. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.156|108.162.219.156]] 14:44, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
: So I see. US units were based largely on the pre-Imperial "[[wikipedia:Winchester measure|Winchester measure]]" units. Though since the late 1800s, US units have been defined in terms of metric units (e.g., 1 inch = 25.4 mm exactly). --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 19:06, 23 July 2021 (UTC)

Talk:1643: Degrees

2021-07-23T19:06:51Z

Aaron of Mpls:

Rankine is a good compromise. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.56.65|173.245.56.65]] 14:11, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

0.173 rad = 10°. Now it could be 10°C (50°F) or 10°F (-12°C).--[[Special:Contributions/108.162.228.113|108.162.228.113]] 14:14, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

It should probably be noted that since 0.173 radians is equal to around 9.91 degrees, the temperature that Cueball gave is likely in 'radians Celsius', since 9.91 degrees Farenheit would be an unlikely temperature to occur, unless they're somewhere like Canada or northern Russia --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.152.59|162.158.152.59]] 14:17, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:It would appear that that's already been noted since I started writing that comment. Ignore me. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.152.59|162.158.152.59]] 14:18, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
::It would appear you're not in New England. Temperature last night -14°F = -26°C = -0.244 rad F = -0.556 rad C. But others have noted this as well. [[User:Bob Stein - VisiBone|Bob Stein - VisiBone]] ([[User talk:Bob Stein - VisiBone|talk]]) 23:41, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:::Even Manhattan, New York reached [http://www.wunderground.com/history/airport/KNYC/2016/2/14/DailyHistory.html -0.9°F] on Sunday, the first time it's been [http://www.weather.gov/media/okx/Climate/CentralPark/Below0DegreeDays.pdf below 0°F] there in a generation. We came within [http://www.weather.gov/media/okx/Climate/CentralPark/BiggestSnowstorms.pdf 1 part in 269] of tying the 2006 record for biggest snowstorm 3 weeks before this, broke the record for latest frost by 12 days with bitter cold 3 weeks before that, had cherry blossoms suicidally bloom on Christmas 10 days before that (because they thought it's spring) and that whole month was twice as many degrees above [http://www.weather.gov/media/okx/Climate/CentralPark/nycnormals.pdf normal] as the [http://www.weather.gov/media/okx/Climate/CentralPark/warmcoldmonths.pdf previous record warmest December]. We also broke the record for warmest November and September a few months ago. This is called [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/global_weirding global weirding.] <small>(the more accurate name for global warming)</small> [[Special:Contributions/199.27.129.11|199.27.129.11]] 04:28, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

Guys, we moved away from the Réaumur-scale: You can do the same for the Fahrenheit :-). --[[User:DaB.|DaB.]] ([[User talk:DaB.|talk]]) 14:20, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
: And we all moved away from the Rømer scale (what Reumer and Fahrenheit were both based on), 0F is 0Rø, 100C/80Reu is 80Rø). We even moved from the 100C-0C to 0C-100C since Celsius was a (half) crazy Swedish scientist who thought Reumer made sense if it was based on 100 instead of 80, and 100 was the freezing point (everybody ignores the second part of his scale).[[Special:Contributions/162.158.114.222|162.158.114.222]] 17:07, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:: {{w|Ole_Rømer|Rømer}} was {{w|Danish}} -- Calling him Sweedish is an insult -- kind if the same insult as calling Cruz Canadian [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 17:14, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:::Then it was great that it was Celsius who was called a ''crazy Swedish scientist'' above, (and he was Swedish). Rømer is luckily more known for making the first quantitative measurements of the speed of light and not for his failed temperature scale. (I'm from Denmark and like the light part: He measured the hesitation of light ;-) --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 21:31, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

I'm pretty sure the only people who could possibly find "Fahrenheit" easier to spell than "Celsius" are those whose first written language was German. [[User:Promethean|Promethean]] ([[User talk:Promethean|talk]]) 01:31, 17 February 2016 (UTC)

Considering how cold New England is today, I'm pretty sure it's Fahrenheit. {{unsigned ip|108.162.218.71}}

Temperature is given in F. Look at which month it is. And how this is a darn cold winter (at least in Canada). [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.43|108.162.216.43]] 14:32, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
: its currently 10F in the Boston area where Randall lives.
:: For people from the future, see [https://www.wunderground.com/history/airport/KBOS/2016/2/15/DailyHistory.html?req_city=Somerville&req_state=MA&reqdb.zip=02143&reqdb.magic=1&reqdb.wmo=99999 this historical data page for the day the comic was released] --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.214.59|108.162.214.59]] 19:00, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
::: Thanks, 108.162.214.59 and others! At that time of year, ''either'' temperature would be possible in Boston, Massachusetts -- 10°F (-12°C) during a cold night or a strong cold snap; 10°C (50°F) during a midwinter thaw. --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 01:19, 19 July 2020 (UTC)

What's with the "We lost a Mars probe over this" remark? [[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.113|141.101.104.113]] 14:33, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
: One of the Mars probes crashed into Mars because one of the NASA contractors was using US Customary units instead of SI units. [[User:Blaisepascal|Blaisepascal]] ([[User talk:Blaisepascal|talk]]) 14:39, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:: Is there a reference for this ?? [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 17:17, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
::: It was the Mars Climate Orbiter, it crashed in 1999 because software supplied by Lockheed Martin produced results in US customary units even though the specs called for metrics units. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mars_Climate_Orbiter [[User:Martin|Martin]] ([[User talk:Martin|talk]]) 22:04, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

:The mars probe remark is in reference to a mistake in switching navigational numbers from American standard to metric (namely in that they didn't) which caused the probe to slam into the surface of mars. If I remember correctly that is.[[Special:Contributions/108.162.238.78|108.162.238.78]] 14:43, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:: I remember when this happened, thinking "OK, Lockheed, time to get out your checkbook and cough up the entire cost of that probe and launch," though I expect their bought-and-paid-for pet legislators made sure that didn't happen. [[User:Miamiclay|Miamiclay]] ([[User talk:Miamiclay|talk]]) 21:23, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

I used to think that physicists prefer Kelvin, which is of course sort of based on Celsius. [[User:Jkrstrt|Jkrstrt]] ([[User talk:Jkrstrt|talk]]) 15:28, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:If you're measuring a temperature ''difference'', which I think is a far more common thing than an absolute temperature, then the two are completely interchangeable. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.186|108.162.219.186]] 14:41, 21 July 2021 (UTC)

If he used Radians Fahrenheit, then 1 would be very close to earth's historical mean temperature for the period 1951 to 1980. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.55.64|173.245.55.64]] 16:19, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
: That sounds like it could almost be useful.... What is the temperature on the surface on the sun in Radians ? [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 17:20, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:: 96.08 [https://www.google.com/search?q=5505+degrees+in+radians radians] [https://www.google.com/search?q=temperature+of+surface+of+sun+in+degrees+Celsius Celsius], or 173.5 [https://www.google.com/search?q=9941+degrees+in+radians radians] [https://www.google.com/search?q=temperature+of+surface+of+sun+in+degrees+Fahrenheit Fahrenheit]. --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.214.59|108.162.214.59]] 19:00, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

"Easier to spell"? When editing, I had to correct myself from "Celcius" to "Celsius". I never get Fahrenheit wrong! [[User:Cosmogoblin|Cosmogoblin]] ([[User talk:Cosmogoblin|talk]]) 20:55, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

Can someone explain to me why Fahrenheit's scale is so much more popular across the Atlantic than in his home <s>city</s> <s>country</s> continent? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.102.219|162.158.102.219]] 21:37, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:Same reason that the British used it. It was there. Unlike the Brits the US just never got around to change it [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 02:18, 16 February 2016 (UTC)
:: As a Brit. I love it that the US was at one point the last bastion of the BTU (British Thermal Unit), I still see 17th century measures in some farming contexts - bushels though I think we both still agree that "Acres" are a much better measure area than the soul-destroying "hectare". :) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.34.147|162.158.34.147]] 08:22, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

Not being an instinctive science type, and on a tiny screen, I initially read the comic as "51 prefixes," and thought to myself "I could probably get from peta- to pico- in my head, but there are really 51 of those?" [[User:Miamiclay|Miamiclay]] ([[User talk:Miamiclay|talk]]) 02:46, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

Maybe one should include the explanation why both angles and temperature use the term "degree". "Degree" in measurement means, that the definition comes from a partition of a known interval. For angles, that is "a full circle is 360 degrees" and for temperature in Celsius that is "100°C is the range from freezing to boiling water". That is historical, because modern SI units are defined in terms of partitions as well.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.90.163|162.158.90.163]] 10:23, 16 February 2016 (UTC)
: I'm not a linguist, but I think that it to a certain degree (!) just means "partial", "part" or "step" -- I can agree with you partially by which I will agree with you to a degree -- any scale can in a similar degree be broken up where each part is a degree closer to the full outcome -- so in Temperature a degree is a step toward boiling, and your Masters degree is a step beyond your Bachelor towards your Doctoral degree -- in short it is to some degree just a duhdah word representing nothing but makes it easier to form a sentence around an abstract concept [[Special:Contributions/162.158.255.109|162.158.255.109]] 20:28, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

talking about weird us customs/units i think the way trailers and such specify release dates by season is terrible. 1. there are 2 hemispheres 2. internationally seasons may vary and it is rarely specified if its north or south seasons [[Special:Contributions/162.158.177.185|162.158.177.185]] 06:37, 17 February 2016 (UTC)

Personally, I like to give temperature in meV/particle [[User:Edo|Edo]] ([[User talk:Edo|talk]]) 14:29, 17 February 2016 (UTC)
: Do you mean MeV per non-frozen degree of freedom? The nitrogen in room-temperature air carries five-sixths the MeV/atom as argon in the same air at the same temperature. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.9|108.162.216.9]] 00:21, 18 February 2016 (UTC)
: So he should have said 22.48 meV. I also prefer that as temperature shouldn't really a "base unit"

Haha, "degree of correlation". Nice. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.58.9|162.158.58.9]] 10:34, 27 December 2016 (UTC)

Wouldn't a physics major be more likely to be loyal to the Kelvin scale than to Celsius? Heck, even the Rankine scale is more scientific than celsius; it's by far the least popular of the four, but it's still more scientific than celsius due to the fact that it starts at absolute zero like Kelvin does

Another "benefit" for Fahrenheit is that it is more precise. That is, each change in degree Fahrenheit is a smaller change in temperature, so you can be a bit more precise without needing to add digits after a decimal point. I also find it noteworthy that there are 180 degrees (Fahrenheit) between freezing and boiling. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fahrenheit#History This is not coincidence], but was explicitly decided by a committee in 1776. Clearly, the choice of 180 degrees is related to a half-circle, so it almost makes sense to talk about "radians Fahrenheit", where the difference between boiling and freezing is pi. [[User:Shamino|Shamino]] ([[User talk:Shamino|talk]]) 14:03, 3 June 2020 (UTC)

When talking about US Customary versus Imperial units, is it worth mentioning that the US units are similar to the English units that were used in Britain before the Imperial system was introduced in 1824? US units mirrored British units of the late 18th century, but they didn't change in 1824 because they were already independent by that time. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.156|108.162.219.156]] 14:44, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
: So I see. US units were based largely on the pre-Imperial "[wikipedia:Winchester measure]" units. Though since the late 1800s, US units have been defined in terms of metric units (e.g., 1 inch = 25.4 mm exactly). --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 19:06, 23 July 2021 (UTC)

Talk:2480: No, The Other One

2021-06-24T04:39:55Z

Aaron of Mpls:

We might want a table for this comic, with three columns: one for the name of the town, one for which state the copycat is in, and one for the original. We could also add a column for "why the original is well known," but that might be a bit much. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.124|108.162.245.124]] 20:38, 23 June 2021 (UTC)
: I agree, this feels like a very table-able comic. Especially to get all the cities and not make readers try to see "hey, did I miss one?" [[Special:Contributions/172.70.117.158|172.70.117.158]] 20:49, 23 June 2021 (UTC)
:: I think the term copy-cat should not be used here, since Lincoln, IL, for instance is older and carries the name longer than Lincoln, NE.--[[Special:Contributions/162.158.88.74|162.158.88.74]] 21:05, 23 June 2021 (UTC)
::: Although the people in Lincoln, UK (also Boston, Washington, Richmond, Plymouth, Newhaven...) might have prior claims - Richmond is an even more interesting case, in fact. And of course I also recognise Lisbon and others. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.244|141.101.98.244]] 21:26, 23 June 2021 (UTC)
:::: May I suggest merging the first two columns and just listing [City, State] under "Place name in comic"? [[User:MajorBurns|MajorBurns]] ([[User talk:MajorBurns|talk]]) 21:38, 23 June 2021 (UTC)

In the map there are (at least) three Lincoln, two Jamestown, five Houston... [[User:Vdm|Vdm]] ([[User talk:Vdm|talk]]) 20:52, 23 June 2021 (UTC)
: There is a Jamestown in NY and PA also. I would expect to find a Jamestown in at least half of the states. [[User:Rtanenbaum|Rtanenbaum]] ([[User talk:Rtanenbaum|talk]]) 22:06, 23 June 2021 (UTC)

There seems to be an extra dot in the northeast corner of Colorado - It looks like it might correspond with the Atlanta label, but there is no Atlanta in Colorado. Based on the position of the dot I'm guessing it may correspond to Akron or Yuma.--[[User:MajorBurns|MajorBurns]] ([[User talk:MajorBurns|talk]]) 21:56, 23 June 2021 (UTC)
: Google Maps says there's an Atlanta, Colorado, but it is in the south-east corner of the state, not where the dot is. It looks like it is in the middle of nowhere outside of Springfield. [[User:Blaisepascal|Blaisepascal]] ([[User talk:Blaisepascal|talk]]) 00:42, 24 June 2021 (UTC)

Jersey Shore PA - I just drove from New Jersey across the state of Pennsylvania, and saw the sign for Jersey Shore in the mountains in the middle of PA. What the? Turns out there was a town founded by two brothers from New Jersey called Waynesburg. When a neighboring town wanted to insult them by calling them "Jersey Shore" they went ahead and officially made Jersey Shore the name of the town. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jersey_Shore,_Pennsylvania https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jersey_Shore,_Pennsylvania]. I wonder how many people turn off the highway in the middle of PA wanting to go to the Jersey Shore hundreds of miles away. [[User:Rtanenbaum|Rtanenbaum]] ([[User talk:Rtanenbaum|talk]]) 22:06, 23 June 2021 (UTC)

Why no Hollywood, Florida? [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollywood,_Florida https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollywood,_Florida]
: Same reason there's no Richmond, Dublin, or Pittsburg (admittedly, a different spelling), California, just to name some of the closest ones to me. The map would be solid black if it labeled every "other one." [[User:Borglord|Borglord]] ([[User talk:Borglord|talk]]) 01:57, 24 June 2021 (UTC)

..''No'' Springfields? Really? There's gotta be 30+ of them! [[User:Danish|Danish]] ([[User talk:Danish|talk]]) 02:00, 24 June 2021 (UTC)
:The comic doesn't seem to include the duplicates that are fairly well known, like Hollywood, FL. And the prevalence of Springfield is well known due to "The Simpsons". I think Groening chose that name ''because'' it wouldn't be associated with any particular state. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 04:06, 24 June 2021 (UTC)

`The most frequently occurring community name varies through the years. In a past year, it was "Midway" with 212 occurrences and "Fairview" in second with 202. More recently, "Fairview" counted 288 and "Midway" 256. The name "Springfield" is often thought to be the only community name appearing in each of the 50 States, but at last count it was in only 34 states.` https://www.usgs.gov/faqs/what-most-common-citytown-name-united-states [[User:Steve|Steve]] ([[User talk:Steve|talk]]) 02:48, 24 June 2021 (UTC)

The comic has been updated to remove Charlestown and move Salem, CT. The extra dot in Colorado remains, however. The image attachment has been updated, but I think I'm still seeing the cached version. [[User:Orion205|Orion205]] ([[User talk:Orion205|talk]]) 03:47, 24 June 2021 (UTC)

Since so many of the names are duplicated multiple times, shouldn't the title be "No, ''An'' Other One"? [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 04:06, 24 June 2021 (UTC)

I'm surprised he missed Minneapolis, Kansas (about 75 miles west of Manhattan). Though maybe it would've made Kansas too crowded. --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]])

Talk:2480: No, The Other One

2021-06-24T04:37:22Z

Aaron of Mpls:

We might want a table for this comic, with three columns: one for the name of the town, one for which state the copycat is in, and one for the original. We could also add a column for "why the original is well known," but that might be a bit much. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.124|108.162.245.124]] 20:38, 23 June 2021 (UTC)
: I agree, this feels like a very table-able comic. Especially to get all the cities and not make readers try to see "hey, did I miss one?" [[Special:Contributions/172.70.117.158|172.70.117.158]] 20:49, 23 June 2021 (UTC)
:: I think the term copy-cat should not be used here, since Lincoln, IL, for instance is older and carries the name longer than Lincoln, NE.--[[Special:Contributions/162.158.88.74|162.158.88.74]] 21:05, 23 June 2021 (UTC)
::: Although the people in Lincoln, UK (also Boston, Washington, Richmond, Plymouth, Newhaven...) might have prior claims - Richmond is an even more interesting case, in fact. And of course I also recognise Lisbon and others. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.244|141.101.98.244]] 21:26, 23 June 2021 (UTC)
:::: May I suggest merging the first two columns and just listing [City, State] under "Place name in comic"? [[User:MajorBurns|MajorBurns]] ([[User talk:MajorBurns|talk]]) 21:38, 23 June 2021 (UTC)

In the map there are (at least) three Lincoln, two Jamestown, five Houston... [[User:Vdm|Vdm]] ([[User talk:Vdm|talk]]) 20:52, 23 June 2021 (UTC)
: There is a Jamestown in NY and PA also. I would expect to find a Jamestown in at least half of the states. [[User:Rtanenbaum|Rtanenbaum]] ([[User talk:Rtanenbaum|talk]]) 22:06, 23 June 2021 (UTC)

There seems to be an extra dot in the northeast corner of Colorado - It looks like it might correspond with the Atlanta label, but there is no Atlanta in Colorado. Based on the position of the dot I'm guessing it may correspond to Akron or Yuma.--[[User:MajorBurns|MajorBurns]] ([[User talk:MajorBurns|talk]]) 21:56, 23 June 2021 (UTC)
: Google Maps says there's an Atlanta, Colorado, but it is in the south-east corner of the state, not where the dot is. It looks like it is in the middle of nowhere outside of Springfield. [[User:Blaisepascal|Blaisepascal]] ([[User talk:Blaisepascal|talk]]) 00:42, 24 June 2021 (UTC)

Jersey Shore PA - I just drove from New Jersey across the state of Pennsylvania, and saw the sign for Jersey Shore in the mountains in the middle of PA. What the? Turns out there was a town founded by two brothers from New Jersey called Waynesburg. When a neighboring town wanted to insult them by calling them "Jersey Shore" they went ahead and officially made Jersey Shore the name of the town. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jersey_Shore,_Pennsylvania https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jersey_Shore,_Pennsylvania]. I wonder how many people turn off the highway in the middle of PA wanting to go to the Jersey Shore hundreds of miles away. [[User:Rtanenbaum|Rtanenbaum]] ([[User talk:Rtanenbaum|talk]]) 22:06, 23 June 2021 (UTC)

Why no Hollywood, Florida? [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollywood,_Florida https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollywood,_Florida]
: Same reason there's no Richmond, Dublin, or Pittsburg (admittedly, a different spelling), California, just to name some of the closest ones to me. The map would be solid black if it labeled every "other one." [[User:Borglord|Borglord]] ([[User talk:Borglord|talk]]) 01:57, 24 June 2021 (UTC)

..''No'' Springfields? Really? There's gotta be 30+ of them! [[User:Danish|Danish]] ([[User talk:Danish|talk]]) 02:00, 24 June 2021 (UTC)
:The comic doesn't seem to include the duplicates that are fairly well known, like Hollywood, FL. And the prevalence of Springfield is well known due to "The Simpsons". I think Groening chose that name ''because'' it wouldn't be associated with any particular state. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 04:06, 24 June 2021 (UTC)

`The most frequently occurring community name varies through the years. In a past year, it was "Midway" with 212 occurrences and "Fairview" in second with 202. More recently, "Fairview" counted 288 and "Midway" 256. The name "Springfield" is often thought to be the only community name appearing in each of the 50 States, but at last count it was in only 34 states.` https://www.usgs.gov/faqs/what-most-common-citytown-name-united-states [[User:Steve|Steve]] ([[User talk:Steve|talk]]) 02:48, 24 June 2021 (UTC)

The comic has been updated to remove Charlestown and move Salem, CT. The extra dot in Colorado remains, however. The image attachment has been updated, but I think I'm still seeing the cached version. [[User:Orion205|Orion205]] ([[User talk:Orion205|talk]]) 03:47, 24 June 2021 (UTC)

Since so many of the names are duplicated multiple times, shouldn't the title be "No, ''An'' Other One"? [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 04:06, 24 June 2021 (UTC)

I'm surprised he missed Minneapolis, Kansas (about 75 miles west of Manhattan). --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 04:37, 24 June 2021 (UTC)

2472: Fuzzy Blob

2021-06-05T23:23:31Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Explanation */ changed m.youtube.com to www.youtube.com in link

{{comic
| number = 2472
| date = June 4, 2021
| title = Fuzzy Blob
| image = fuzzy_blob.png
| titletext = If there's no dome, how do you explain the irregularities the board discovered in the zoning permits issued in that area!?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an UNIDENTIFIED FUZZY BLOB. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Cueball is taking a picture of his house, but sees a large fuzzy blob on the side of the picture. This blob likely comes from Cueball making the mistake of putting one of his fingers partially in front of the lens. This is a common enough occurrence with smartphones or compact cameras that an ordinary user should immediately be able to identify the problem; however, the comic derives humor from having neither Cueball nor anyone else come to this conclusion.

Likely, this comic stems from the resurgent talk of {{w|Unidentified Flying Objects}}, (UFO,) now dubbed "{{w|Unidentified Aerial Phenomena}}", or UAP. The topic regained popularity after the {{w|Department of Defense}}, (DoD,) recently [https://www.cnn.com/2021/05/04/politics/pentagon-ufo-enquiry/index.html confirmed the authenticity of 3 videos] taken by {{w|United States Navy | US Naval}} personnel. It has been much discussed in mainstream news, not just among {{w|extraterrestrial}} enthusiasts or {{w|conspiracy theorists}}, some of whom have created {{w|QAnon}} spin-off theories. (Thankfully, some people do [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLPLeig95M4 recover].)

Randall likely wished to clarify that UAP are probably not of alien origin, and appears to be suggesting that there is a simple and obvious explanation for the objects, such as birds or dirt on the navy's camera lenses, that most people in the general public are missing and that [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/2359:_Evidence_of_Alien_Life any definitive conclusion of aliens is overhyped].

The tendency to make unwarranted connections to unrelated but synchronous 'evidence' is shown in the Title Text. Investigation of this phenomena has brought to light 'irregularities' in the local {{w|Zoning|zoning permits}}, which are almost certainly just instances of mundane corruption, incompetence or inconsistency such as might be revealed in many such places once you put extra resources into investigating every aspect of an area.

An alternate intention of the word 'irregularities' might be due to the necessarily zig-zaggy nature of defining a 'circular' zone footprint by drawing best-fit boundary lines only along streets, within any established grid-based system of city 'blocks'. The interpretation of why any zone is a complex and crinkly shape, rather than a strictly utilitarian rectangle, may not be so obvious from an overview that does not take into account geological or political restrictions such as the curve of a watercourse in a valley or a mandate against hi-rise buildings within a certain radius of a monument.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball takes picture of his house from a distance great enough to get the whole house in the picture. He holds the camera (or smartphone) in both hands. The shutter makes a sound:]
:Click

:[The picture he has taken is shown below. The picture is lying tilted compared to the panel, and shows the house but with a fuzzy "white" skin colored blob covering the left part of the picture, just touching the left side of the house. Above and partly over the picture is a small frame with Cueball's response when he sees the picture:]
:What the...

:[White Hat gestures towards Cueball with one hand, while Cueball holds his camera in one hand towards White Hat, with the picture shown on the screen, too small to see though.]
:White Hat: What's that fuzzy blob next to your house? It's huge!
:Cueball: I don't know! I looked up and it was gone!
:White Hat: How can a giant structure vanish?
:Cueball and White Hat: ''...Cloaking device?!!''

:[Blondie is standing at the front of the panel with a microphone in her hand speaking towards the viewer. Behind her is a close up of the Blob on a screen. To the left of the screen is an almost bald man with hair behind his ears, holding a hand to his chin. To the right is Megan, who is holding one hand out palm up, towards the picture, which they are both looking at.]
:Blondie: The fuzzy blob, dubbed "flob" by internet sleuths, has city planners stumped.
:Man: No, that's not any type of building I'm familiar with.
:Megan: Could be an experimental military dome.

:[Hairbun is standing on a podium behind a lectern with a microphone on it. She addresses three people in front of the stage, Cueball, Megan and White Hat. Behind them Blondie is turned the other way speaking to a camera, standing on three high legs. She has a microphone in her hand.]
:Hairbun: The Zoning board investigation has found no evidence of a cloaked dome structure.
:Hairbun: The historical commission will be joining the research into these domes and other unusual buildings, such as the historic 4th ave church...
:Blondie: This only raises more questions.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Blondie]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Conspiracy theory]]

Talk:905: Homeownership

2020-12-12T00:39:30Z

Aaron of Mpls:

Thank god he didn't buy an apartment flat. '''[[User:Davidy22|<u>{{Color|#707|David}}<font color=#070 size=3>y</font></u><font color=#508 size=4>²²</font>]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 01:48, 17 April 2013 (UTC)

"This is an example for the misuse of statistics." Also, statics... [[Special:Contributions/108.162.254.113|108.162.254.113]] 16:51, 28 January 2015 (UTC)

This has got to be a "financial collapse" "house collapse" pun. [[User:Jimbo1qaz|Jimbo1qaz]] ([[User talk:Jimbo1qaz|talk]]) 23:43, 29 April 2016 (UTC)

I think the title text might refer to the fact these types of drills are common in construction. To think that at least 60% of these assets would have had that tool involved in their creation seems like a conservative estimate.
[[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.118|108.162.245.118]] 17:36, 6 January 2017 (UTC)

: Many houses are old enough to predate power drills. And the crash did hit a lot of older and poorer neighborhoods particularly hard. --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 00:39, 12 December 2020 (UTC)

Talk:905: Homeownership

2020-12-12T00:39:10Z

Aaron of Mpls:

Thank god he didn't buy an apartment flat. '''[[User:Davidy22|<u>{{Color|#707|David}}<font color=#070 size=3>y</font></u><font color=#508 size=4>²²</font>]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 01:48, 17 April 2013 (UTC)

"This is an example for the misuse of statistics." Also, statics... [[Special:Contributions/108.162.254.113|108.162.254.113]] 16:51, 28 January 2015 (UTC)

This has got to be a "financial collapse" "house collapse" pun. [[User:Jimbo1qaz|Jimbo1qaz]] ([[User talk:Jimbo1qaz|talk]]) 23:43, 29 April 2016 (UTC)

I think the title text might refer to the fact these types of drills are common in construction. To think that at least 60% of these assets would have had that tool involved in their creation seems like a conservative estimate.
[[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.118|108.162.245.118]] 17:36, 6 January 2017 (UTC)

: Many houses are old enough to predate power drills. And the housing crash did hit a lot of older and poorer neighborhoods particularly hard. --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 00:39, 12 December 2020 (UTC)

1027: Pickup Artist

2020-12-11T23:20:01Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Explanation */ added note about the gap that would let a bowling ball through

{{comic
| number = 1027
| date = March 9, 2012
| title = Pickup Artist
| image = pickup_artist.png
| titletext = Son, don't try to play 'make you feel bad' with the Michael Jordan of making you feel bad.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Hairy]] and [[Cueball]] are sitting at a table with drinks. Hairy tells Cueball that he's learned some {{w|pickup artist}} tricks. Cueball is appalled, declaring that pickup artists are "dehumanizing creeps". Hairy argues that he's simply learning new tactics such as "[http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=negging negging]" (undercutting the target's self-esteem so that she'll feel vulnerable and crave approval), evidently oblivious to the fact that he's proving Cueball's point. Rejecting Cueball's advice to simply talk to women "like a fucking human being", Hairy sets off to try out the technique.

Meanwhile, [[Black Hat]] and [[Danish]] are sitting at another table. Black Hat leaves to roll a bowling ball through the restroom stalls to smash the feet of anyone there using them. In North America, public restrooms usually have a 1-foot (30 cm) gap between the floor and the bottom of the stall dividers. As people sit down to use a stall most of the time, their feet would be vulnerable to being hit in sequence. Perhaps Black Hat is going for a 'strike'. Hairy approaches Danish, while Cueball looks on and says "oh no" — seemingly recognizing Danish and anticipating the disaster Hairy is walking into, or perhaps simply not wanting Hairy to use his tricks on anyone.

Hairy makes an attempt at "negging" by suggesting that Danish's fruit plate reflects a need to lose weight. Danish, naturally being a master at psychological manipulation, immediately realizes his game, and crushes him utterly by taking another shot in the psychological dark ([[440: Road Rage]]) — telling him that he's trapped in an endless cycle of failure because he's ultimately a mediocre person and will never do anything of value with his life. Demoralized, Hairy declares that he needs to go home and think about his life; Danish tells him, "It won't help.” Of course, once Black Hat discovers his shenanigans, Hairy might not have much more life to rethink.

The title text refers to {{w|Michael Jordan}}, a very popular and accomplished {{w|basketball}} player who played for the {{w|Chicago Bulls}} and the {{w|Washington Wizards}}. His name is often used as a noun to denote that someone is the best in their field, which is later used in [[1120: Blurring the Line]].

The pick up subject and Hairy returned in [[1178: Pickup Artists]], where he tries to improve his skills (which he must have felt he needed after this experience), by hanging out with other pickup artists, thus the plural version of the comic title. This comic is one of a small set of comics with the same or almost the same title as another comic (only plural form of artist the difference).

==Transcript==
:[Hairy and Cueball sitting at a table.]
:Hairy: I've been learning tricks from pickup artist forums.
:Cueball: Pickup artists are dehumanizing creeps who see relationships as adversarial and women as sex toys.

:[Close-up of Hairy's head, with a faint outline of Black hat and Danish sitting at a table in the background.]
:Hairy: No, it's just a bunch of tips! Like ''negging'': you belittle chicks to undermine their self-confidence so they'll be more vulnerable and seek your approval.

:[Close-up of Cueball's head.]
:Cueball: Just talk to them like a fucking human being.
:Hairy: Nah, that's a sucker's game.
:Hairy: Ok— wish me luck!

:[Small frame across top of panel reads ''Meanwhile...'' and Danish is sitting at a table with Black hat standing next to the table holding a bowling ball under his arm.]
:Black Hat: I'm going to the bathroom to roll a bowling ball own under the line of stalls.
:Danish: Cool.

:[Close up of Cueball's head, with Hairy approaching Danish's table in the background.]
:Cueball: Oh no.

:[Hairy and Danish at a table. Hairy is standing up and leaning on the table.]
:Hairy: You look like you're on a diet. That's great!
:Hairy: How's the fruit plate?

:[Close-up of Danish's head.]
:Danish: Ooh- are we negging?
:Danish: Let me try!

:[Close-up of Danish's head, with her hand raised.]
:Danish: You look like you're going to spend your life having one epiphany after another, always thinking you've finally figured out what's holding you back, and how you can finally be productive and creative and turn your life around.
:Danish: But nothing will ever change. That cycle of mediocrity isn't due to some obstacle. It's who you ''are''.
:Danish: The thing standing in the way of your dreams
:Danish: is that the person having them is ''you''.

:[Hairy and Danish at a table. Hairy is standing up.]
:Danish: Ok, your turn! Ooh, try insulting my hair!
:Hairy: I think I need to go home and think about my life.
:Danish: It won't help.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Pickup Artist01]]

Talk:2383: Electoral Precedent 2020

2020-11-11T00:41:49Z

Aaron of Mpls:

Can anyone identify the faded background text in the 2016 panel?

Is there some shadow text behind the main text in the 2016 square? I can barely make it out.
It looks like "No nominee whose first name contains a "k" has lost", which would be the same from the 1122 comic.
[[User:ChunyangD|ChunyangD]] ([[User talk:ChunyangD|talk]]) 00:54, 10 November 2020 (UTC)

It's the alternative text from the 2016 one: "No nominee whose first name contains a "K" has lost." [[Special:Contributions/172.69.235.143|172.69.235.143]] 00:58, 10 November 2020 (UTC)

I'm quite sure that Obama did in fact have a campaign website in 2008 when he was a challenger. See http://www.4president.us/websites/2008/barackobama2008website.htm [[User:Bobjr|Bobjr]] ([[User talk:Bobjr|talk]]) 01:15, 10 November 2020 (UTC)
:I think "challenger" means that they're going against the incumbent. Obama was up against McCain, who wasn't an incumbent. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 01:31, 10 November 2020 (UTC)

How much do we want the explanation for this one to repeat what is in that of 1122?--[[User:Troy0|Troy0]] ([[User talk:Troy0|talk]]) 01:19, 10 November 2020 (UTC)
:We shouldn't. If the explanation of 1122 is missing something it should be added there. [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 08:21, 10 November 2020 (UTC)

Didn't Clinton win after being impeached? [[User:Alcatraz ii|Alcatraz ii]] ([[User talk:Alcatraz ii|talk]]) 01:21, 10 November 2020 (UTC)
:Yes, he was impeached during his first term. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 01:31, 10 November 2020 (UTC)
:: No, this is not true, Clinton was impeached during his 2nd term, in 1998, and he was not eligible for a 3rd term. George W. Bush won the following presidential election in 2000. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.34.42|172.69.34.42]] 01:35, 10 November 2020 (UTC)

You could also say Joe was the first President with a rescue dog [[User:Squire80513|Squire80513]] ([[User talk:Squire80513|talk]]) 01:57, 10 November 2020 (UTC)Squire80513
:Does not Lyndon B Johnson's dog, Yuki, count? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.159.128|162.158.159.128]] 02:30, 10 November 2020 (UTC)
::LBJ's Yuki was a "rescue" (found wandering aimlessly around a gas station) but not a "shelter" dog. Joe's dog is the first first canine from a shelter. It's subtle distinction that many repeating the statistic miss [[User:MAP|MAP]] ([[User talk:MAP|talk]]) 03:08, 10 November 2020 (UTC)

Point of order, why is Biden being referred to as president elect? I was under the impression that the term shouldn't be used until the dispute is resolved. With several pending legal cases and the votes uncertified by the states. -172.69.170.142 3:45 11/10/20 {{template:unsigned IP|172.69.170.142|03:45, 10 November 2020}}
: All major media sources have called the race for Biden as of Saturday, November 8th. XKCD, and this wiki, will follow the lead of the Associated Press or New York Times, both of whom say the race has concluded and Joe Biden is the president elect. -162.158.62.93 4:38 11/10/20 {{template:unsigned IP|162.158.62.93|04:38, 10 November 2020}}
:: Except for one of the most trusted- RealClearPolitics.com still has Pennsylvania up for grabs due to lawsuits and is about to move Michigan back into play after a poll worker claimed that a delivery of Biden-only votes came into a Detroit counting room at 3:30 am on November 4.[[User:Seebert|Seebert]] ([[User talk:Seebert|talk]]) 14:26, 10 November 2020 (UTC)
::: Your assertion of trust without reason comes across as fake news; however, I checked the web.archive.org history for realclearpolitics.com, and it has over a decade of history. I also visited the site and at a cursor glance it might have rational articles from both political sides, which seems commendable. If it is actually trustworthy, why didn't you explain that it is and why it is, given the current news environment? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.77|162.158.62.77]] 14:53, 10 November 2020 (UTC)
:::: My bad, I had assumed that the trio of sites covering the electoral college, 270toWin, RealClearPolitics, and 538 were all well known and respected sites by now, after having played a big role in the last 4 elections. [[User:Seebert|Seebert]] ([[User talk:Seebert|talk]]) 15:25, 10 November 2020 (UTC)
:: Not only that, but A) while "the votes uncertified by the states" may influence the exact total, they can't make Trump win, B) a Trump victory would require that ALL legal cases are resolved in Trump's favor (depending on uncertified votes) and C) the Republican party asked to Trump to concede victory, meaning that nobody with political experience believes those legal cases have a chance of success. The only unknown point is the result of the EC election, but it is naturally assumed they will vote for the elected candidate.[[Special:Contributions/172.69.55.104|172.69.55.104]] 08:29, 10 November 2020 (UTC)
: "Presumptive president elect" would be more accurate (and I say this as someone that voted for Biden). --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.72|108.162.219.72]] 10:06, 10 November 2020 (UTC)

I don't understand how the statement for 1876 could have been true: if J.Q. Adams won in 1824 without a popular majority, then his opponent won the majority and still lost, so Tilden couldn't have been the first in 1876 to win the majority and lose?[[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.38|141.101.98.38]] 08:54, 10 November 2020 (UTC)
: Simple: there were more than two candidates. In 1824, there were four candidates who each got over 10% of the vote. That's how Adams could win without the majority, without one of his opponents then having the majority. (In fact, Jackson had the plurality of the votes, but not the majority, but Adams was elected by the House.) --[[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.74|141.101.98.74]] 11:30, 10 November 2020 (UTC)
::Thanks![[Special:Contributions/162.158.159.96|162.158.159.96]] 16:57, 10 November 2020 (UTC)
:::More details: {{w|1824 United States presidential election}}. Jackson only got about 41% of the popular vote (in states that had one -- not all did back then), and 99 out of 261 electoral votes (~38%). Nobody got enough votes in enough states for an electoral majority, so the election went to Congress. --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 00:41, 11 November 2020 (UTC)

Bad with formatting here, but I updated the bit about precedent to include that Trump's raw vote total (approx 71.5 million, also not yet certified) is ''also'' breaking the precedent set by Obama in 2008. Love them or hate them, in this high-turnout election, both major party candidates had record numbers for their raw vote totals. Trump doesn't make it to first place above Obama because Biden makes it to first place above Trump. I didn't look into whether the percentage of eligible population numbers are different, but higher turnout combined with higher population makes breaking that barrier a little easier.[[Special:Contributions/108.162.238.5|108.162.238.5]] 13:02, 10 November 2020 (UTC)
:Especially since poll workers were caught on camera in Wisconsin putting Trump Votes upside-down into the scanner, but scanning Biden votes correctly.[[User:Seebert|Seebert]] ([[User talk:Seebert|talk]]) 14:26, 10 November 2020 (UTC)
::How was this discovered? How can we hunt down more occurrences? Did the machine reject the ballots and the people fix the error? (and what are the ramifications of a camera recording vote ballots?) There is no reason to not suspect the opposite happens too: that anybody's votes could be put in upside down. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.77|162.158.62.77]] 14:55, 10 November 2020 (UTC)
:::It's part of the lawsuit based on a complaint from an observer. But there is an easy way to track down and correct this problem on both sides- hold a recount.[[User:Seebert|Seebert]] ([[User talk:Seebert|talk]]) 15:25, 10 November 2020 (UTC)
::::I have not found a reference to any current Wisconsin lawsuit. Seems like you should either document the claims or delete them.[[Special:Contributions/172.68.174.126|172.68.174.126]] 23:13, 10 November 2020 (UTC)

Honestly, the outcome's still not 100%, so, if, by some stroke of (bad?) luck, Trump becomes president again, then the precedents might change.- another user

Is it just me, or is Randall using this comic as an excuse to throw some shade on Trump? The two squares about Trump are "he has no military experience or political experience" and "he got impeached and then lost." He could've picked more neutral things (his age perhaps, or his appearance on WWE or something) so these choices seem pretty deliberate and, pointed, shall we say? [[Special:Contributions/172.69.63.183|172.69.63.183]] 00:13, 11 November 2020 (UTC)
:It's still in keeping with the other 'serious' precedents in prior elections, like not winning without a specific state, or having/not having certain experience. --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 00:41, 11 November 2020 (UTC)

== Table ==

If you really feel the need to explain every item in a table then please do so in comic 1122 as this is the original. [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 18:25, 10 November 2020 (UTC)

I removed the redundant options, sorry - user who made table (...Unsigned)
: When I changed the word from "Redundant" (I know what you meant, just that's not quite right) I was hoping to #anchor the link to the prior comic exactly upon the new(?) section someone set up with the previously-relevent lines of table. But it turns out there's only two href="#..."s on that page, and no section titles are given that honour (unlike, say, wikipedia's Table Of Contents entries) I don't want to try to mess with the expkcd wiki at that level of things, but I think it'd be slightly more useful to set that up than it would cost in effort (i.e. a slightly larger version of 'barely'). That's my suggestion, anyway. Just putting it out there. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.216|141.101.98.216]] 23:52, 10 November 2020 (UTC)

== Is there some joke to trump being impeached? ==

I thought he was acquitted, I checked wikipedia and they say he was acquitted. I'm not American if this is some in joke in America you guys may need to explain it.
Thank you :)
[[Special:Contributions/108.162.250.87|108.162.250.87]] 00:30, 11 November 2020 (UTC)

2365: Messaging Systems

2020-10-06T05:33:05Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Explanation */ simplified some wording; broke 'SMS' section into paragraphs; indented paragraphs to match bullets

{{comic
| number = 2365
| date = September 28, 2020
| title = Messaging Systems
| image = messaging_systems.png
| titletext = SMS is just the worst, but I'm having trouble convincing people to adopt my preferred system, TLS IRC with a local server and a patched DOSBox gateway running in my mobile browser.
}}

==Explanation==
Messaging systems suffer from the {{w|network effect}}, as in order to communicate, both parties need to be using the same system.
Though relatively ancient by modern standards, {{w|SMS}} is supported by almost every mobile device (unless you're using a {{w|kosher phone}} or still on a {{w|DynaTAC}}) that has a phone number attached, which means if you want to send a message to someone, but aren't sure if you have a messaging protocol in common, you can be sure at least they have SMS.

The comic mentions many other communication systems, which offer various advantages in either security ({{w|end to end encryption}}) and or a bunch of general improvements filed under the label "vaguely modern", such as longer character limits and the ability to share media such as images in-service.

The messaging systems are shown in a {{w|Venn Diagram}}, with the categories corresponding to these three advantages. The intersections between the categories are very minimal: there are a few systems that have both E2E encryption and are modern, but no intersections with "supported by everyone", and SMS is the only system in that category. So when choosing a method of communication, you're usually faced with a compromise.

The title text proposes an alternative, absurd mingling of technologies in the vein of [[1636: XKCD Stack]]. IRC is Internet Relay Chat, a similarly antiquated messaging service that may also never die, as suggested in [[1782: Team Chat]]. {{w|Transport Layer Security}} (TLS) is a layer of networking software that provides encrypted communication. {{w|DOSBox}} is an emulator that recreates the operating environment of {{w|MS-DOS}}; part of the absurdity is that DOSBox is intended almost solely for video games.

Various other comics have referenced the issue of chat services, including [[1810: Chat Systems]], [[1254: Preferred Chat System]], and [[1782: Team Chat]].

=== Vaguely Modern ===
'''Slack'''
* {{w|Slack (software)|Slack}} is a workplace messaging service that offers the ability for administrators to create channels in order to organize the discussion. It is asynchronous, which means that conversations can occur out of time, hours apart from each other. It also keeps track of every message, and everything in a public channel stays there forever for everyone to see. It is not encrypted and has been moving towards being less privacy-focused for end-users over the years as corporate demand for employee surveillance has prompted the company to offer ever more invasive services to administrators. Overall, it is a popular service with some large companies and non-profit organisations but does not yet have universal adoption.

'''Facebook Messenger'''
* {{w|Facebook Messenger}} is {{w|Facebook}}'s messaging app for phones, but not everyone has a Facebook account, or uses Facebook regularly.

'''Hangouts'''
* {{w|Google Hangouts}} is a messaging service that can be accessed through the online Gmail client, as a separate web page and a standalone app for the phone. Theoretically, that means everybody has access to it, but modern usage patterns mean that most people do not use the attached web client and don't bother downloading the app. It allows users to make group or 1-on-1 voice or video calls, upload images, videos, links, and other media along with text messaging.

'''Discord'''
* {{w|Discord (software)|Discord}} is a communications program that offers both direct messages and "servers", membership groups with a variety of voice and text channels. Discord was initially designed to serve the needs of online gaming communities, but is now used by many other groups.

'''Various DMs'''
* A {{w|Personal message|DM}} (direct message) is a private message between two or more users. The term DM originated from {{w|Twitter}}, but is now broadly applied to any user-to-user messaging feature within a larger service.

=== Vaguely Modern & E2E Encrypted ===

'''Signal'''
*{{w|Signal (software)|Signal}} is an encrypted messaging service owned by the Signal Foundation a 501c3 nonprofit, popular among protesters and hackers who wish to remain anonymous. Signal allows for highly secure messaging and for messages to be deleted after a period of time.

'''iMessage'''
*{{w|iMessage}} is the instant messaging service for Apple devices. iMessage features end-to-end encryption; however, it only works between Apple devices, so users of Android devices are not able to receive or send messages through iMessage.

'''WhatsApp'''
*{{w|WhatsApp}} is a messaging service owned by Facebook. It has more than two billion users worldwide, according to the company's own information from February 2020.

=== E2E Encrypted ===
{{w|End-to-end encryption}} is another messaging system where only the communicating users can read the messages posted. In principle, it prevents potential eavesdroppers – including {{w|telecom provider}}s, {{w|internet provider}}s, and even the provider of the communication service – from being able to access the {{w|cryptographic key}}s needed to decrypt the conversation.

'''PGP Email'''
*{{w|Pretty Good Privacy|PGP}} ("Pretty Good Privacy") is an encryption protocol for privacy and authentication developed in 1991. PGP can be used for signing, encrypting, and decrypting data. It is used to ensure the validity of the nature of the sender of the message (i.e., to make sure you got the email from the sender and not from someone else pretending to be someone else with malicious intent). PGP was also featured in [[1181: PGP]].

'''Various Obscure Projects'''
*Randall is probably referring to the multitude of projects similar to those listed here that had end-to-end encryption but never went far.

'''Skype I Think'''
*{{w|Skype}} is a video conferencing service owned by Microsoft released in 2003; thus Randall does not consider Skype "modern". He is unsure if Skype is end-to-end encrypted or not. Skype used to be E2E encrypted, but that was changed and now {{w|Skype security|it does not have E2E encryption}}.

'''XMPP''' ('''Jabber + TLS''')
*{{w|XMPP}} (Extensible Messaging and Presence Protocol), formerly named Jabber, is a communications protocol based on XML that was developed in 1999. The XMPP protocol could be used with {{w|Transport Layer Security}} (TLS) to have a secure communications service.

:The first IM service based on XMPP was {{w|Jabber.org}}.

:There are several XEPs (XMPP Extension Protocols).

=== Supported By Everyone ===
'''SMS'''
*{{w|SMS}} (Short Message Service) is a text-messaging service formally defined in the {{w|GSM}} standard in 1985 and first used in 1992. It limits messages to 160 characters, text-only. SMS has been extended at least twice, first by {{w|Multimedia Messaging Service|MMS}} (first used in 2002), which allows for "multimedia", including short videos, images and audio. MMS is also supported by most modern phones, but does not have any security features and is less powerful than other messaging apps, making it less modern.

:{{w|Rich Communication Services|RCS}} (Rich Communication Services) is a more modern protocol, aimed at replacing SMS and MMS protocols. RCS support has been slow to rollout among cellular carriers, due to their preference for proprietary implementations and monetizable usage tracking and/or gatekeeping. Like SMS and MMS, RCS is a federated network, wherein failure of one provider's systems is unlikely to result in a total system outage. The single-provider messaging networks of other widely used systems (such as those mentioned on this page) can experience system-wide outages that prevent all users from communicating via them at all; this has happened multiple times for both Signal and Discord, among others. For this reason, single-provider networks are intrinsically more prone to total system outages than federated networks.

:The long-standing interoperability of SMS+MMS networks is difficult (if not impossible) to match in terms of communicating with a maximum number of people, and maintaining functionality for other users when one provider experiences an outage.

==Transcript==

A Venn Diagram is shown, framed in a box. It has three components:

Vaguely Modern, E2E Encrypted, Supported By Everyone

'''Items Solely in the Vaguely Modern category are:'''

:Facebook Messenger, Hangouts, Discord, Various DMs

'''Items In both 'Vaguely Modern' and 'E2E Encrypted' categories are:'''

:Signal, iMessage, Whatsapp

'''Items Solely in the E2E Encrypted category are:'''

:PGP Email, Various Obscure Projects, Skype I think, XMPP and XMPP + XEP-0384: OMEMO

'''Items Solely in the 'Supported By Everyone' category is:'''

:SMS

All other categories are empty.

[Caption below the comic]: Why SMS refuses to die

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Venn diagrams]]
[[Category:Phones]]
[[Category:Social networking]]

2365: Messaging Systems

2020-10-06T05:23:22Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Supported By Everyone */ replaced '&' with 'and'

{{comic
| number = 2365
| date = September 28, 2020
| title = Messaging Systems
| image = messaging_systems.png
| titletext = SMS is just the worst, but I'm having trouble convincing people to adopt my preferred system, TLS IRC with a local server and a patched DOSBox gateway running in my mobile browser.
}}

==Explanation==
Messaging systems suffer from the {{w|network effect}}, as in order to communicate, both parties need to be using the same system.
Though relatively ancient by modern standards, {{w|SMS}} is supported by almost every mobile device (unless you're using a {{w|kosher phone}} or still on a {{w|DynaTAC}}) that has a phone number attached, which means if you want to send a message to someone, but aren't sure if you have a messaging protocol in common, you can be sure at least they have SMS.

The comic mentions many other communication systems, which offer various advantages in either security ({{w|end to end encryption}}) and or a bunch of general improvements filed under the label "vaguely modern", such as longer character limits and the ability to share media such as images in-service.

The messaging systems are shown in a {{w|Venn Diagram}}, with the categories corresponding to these three advantages. The intersections between the categories are very minimal: there are a few systems that have both E2E encryption and are modern, but no intersections with "supported by everyone", and SMS is the only system in that category. So when choosing a method of communication, you're usually faced with a compromise.

The title text proposes an alternative, absurd mingling of technologies in the vein of [[1636: XKCD Stack]]. IRC is Internet Relay Chat, a similarly antiquated messaging service that may also never die, as suggested in [[1782: Team Chat]]. {{w|Transport Layer Security}} (TLS) is a layer of networking software that provides encrypted communication. {{w|DOSBox}} is an emulator that recreates the operating environment of {{w|MS-DOS}}; part of the absurdity is that DOSBox is intended almost solely for video games.

Various other comics have referenced the issue of chat services, including [[1810: Chat Systems]], [[1254: Preferred Chat System]], and [[1782: Team Chat]].

=== Vaguely Modern ===
'''Slack'''
* {{w|Slack (software)|Slack}} is a workplace messaging service that offers the ability for administrators to create channels in order to organize the discussion. It is asynchronous, which means that conversations can occur out of time, hours apart from each other. It also keeps track of every message, and everything in a public channel stays there forever for everyone to see. It is not encrypted and has been moving towards being less privacy-focused for end-users over the years as corporate demand for employee surveillance has prompted the company to offer ever more invasive services to administrators. Overall, it is a popular service with some large companies and non-profit organisations but does not yet have universal adoption.

'''Facebook Messenger'''
* {{w|Facebook Messenger}} is {{w|Facebook}}'s messaging app for phones, but not everyone has a Facebook account, or uses Facebook regularly.

'''Hangouts'''
* {{w|Google Hangouts}} is a messaging service that can be accessed through the online Gmail client, as a separate web page and a standalone app for the phone. Theoretically, that means everybody has access to it, but modern usage patterns mean that most people do not use the attached web client and don't bother downloading the app. It allows users to make group or 1-on-1 voice or video calls, upload images, videos, links, and other media along with text messaging.

'''Discord'''
* {{w|Discord (software)|Discord}} is a communications program that offers both direct messages and "servers", membership groups with a variety of voice and text channels. Discord was initially designed to serve the needs of online gaming communities, but is now used by many other groups.

'''Various DMs'''
* A {{w|Personal message|DM}} (direct message) is a private message between two or more users. The term DM originated from {{w|Twitter}}, but is now broadly applied to any user-to-user messaging feature within a larger service.

=== Vaguely Modern & E2E Encrypted ===

'''Signal'''
*{{w|Signal (software)|Signal}} is an encrypted messaging service owned by the Signal Foundation a 501c3 nonprofit, popular among protesters and hackers who wish to remain anonymous. Signal allows for highly secure messaging and for messages to be deleted after a period of time.

'''iMessage'''
*{{w|iMessage}} is the instant messaging service for Apple devices. iMessage features end-to-end encryption; however, it only works between Apple devices, so users of Android devices are not able to receive or send messages through iMessage.

'''WhatsApp'''
*{{w|WhatsApp}} is a messaging service owned by Facebook. It has more than two billion users worldwide, according to the company's own information from February 2020.

=== E2E Encrypted ===
{{w|End-to-end encryption}} is another messaging system where only the communicating users can read the messages posted. In principle, it prevents potential eavesdroppers – including {{w|telecom provider}}s, {{w|internet provider}}s, and even the provider of the communication service – from being able to access the {{w|cryptographic key}}s needed to decrypt the conversation.

'''PGP Email'''
*{{w|Pretty Good Privacy|PGP}} (short for "Pretty Good Privacy") is an encryption protocol for privacy and authentication developed in 1991. PGP can be used for signing, encrypting, and decrypting data. It is used to ensure the validity of the nature of the sender of the message (i.e., to make sure you got the email from the sender and not from someone else pretending to be someone else with malicious intent). PGP was also featured in [[1181: PGP]].

'''Various Obscure Projects'''
*Randall is probably referring to the multitude of projects similar to those listed here that had end-to-end encryption but never went far.

'''Skype I Think'''
*{{w|Skype}} is a video conferencing service owned by Microsoft released in 2003; thus Randall does not consider Skype "modern". He is unsure if Skype is end-to-end encrypted or not. Skype used to be E2E encrypted, but that was changed and now {{w|Skype security|it does not have E2E encryption}}.

'''XMPP''' ('''Jabber + TLS''')
*{{w|XMPP}} (short for Extensible Messaging and Presence Protocol), formerly named Jabber, is a communications protocol based on XML that was developed in 1999. The XMPP protocol could be used with {{w|Transport Layer Security}} (TLS) to have a secure communications service.

The first IM service based on XMPP was {{w|Jabber.org}}.

There are several (XEPs) (short for XMPP Extension Protocols).

=== Supported By Everyone ===
'''SMS'''
*{{w|SMS}} (short for Short Message Service) is a text-messaging service formally defined in the {{w|GSM}} standard in 1985 and first used in 1992. It limits messages to 160 characters, text-only. SMS has been extended at least twice, first by {{w|Multimedia Messaging Service|MMS}} (first used in 2002), which allows for "multimedia", including short videos, images and audio. MMS is also supported by most modern phones, but does not have any security features and is less powerful than other messaging apps, making it less modern. {{w|Rich Communication Services|Rich Communication Services}} (abbreviated as RCS) is a more modern protocol, aimed at replacing SMS and MMS protocols. RCS support has been slow to rollout among cellular carriers, due to their preference for proprietary implementations and monetizable usage tracking and/or gatekeeping. Like SMS and MMS, RCS is a federated network, wherein failure of one provider's systems is unlikely to result in a total system outage. The single-provider messaging networks of other widely used systems (such as those mentioned on this page) can experience system-wide outages that prevent all users from communicating via them at all; this has happened multiple times for both Signal and Discord, among others. For this reason, single-provider networks are intrinsically more prone to total system outages than federated networks. The long-standing interoperability of SMS+MMS networks is difficult (if not impossible) to match in terms of communicating with a maximum number of people, and maintaining functionality for other users when one provider experiences an outage.

==Transcript==

A Venn Diagram is shown, framed in a box. It has three components:

Vaguely Modern, E2E Encrypted, Supported By Everyone

'''Items Solely in the Vaguely Modern category are:'''

:Facebook Messenger, Hangouts, Discord, Various DMs

'''Items In both 'Vaguely Modern' and 'E2E Encrypted' categories are:'''

:Signal, iMessage, Whatsapp

'''Items Solely in the E2E Encrypted category are:'''

:PGP Email, Various Obscure Projects, Skype I think, XMPP and XMPP + XEP-0384: OMEMO

'''Items Solely in the 'Supported By Everyone' category is:'''

:SMS

All other categories are empty.

[Caption below the comic]: Why SMS refuses to die

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Venn diagrams]]
[[Category:Phones]]
[[Category:Social networking]]

2366: Amelia's Farm Fresh Cookies

2020-10-01T21:37:07Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Transcript */ changed city name to illegible (looks like it could be Orlando or Ocala)

{{comic
| number = 2366
| date = September 30, 2020
| title = Amelia's Farm Fresh Cookies
| image = amelias_farm_fresh_cookies.png
| titletext = I told her I'd take her address off the packaging if she'd stop submitting anonymous food safety complaints about my bakery to the health department, but she sent me a note that said NO DEAL along with an extra large batch of cookies.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by AMELIA'S GRANDMA. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The comic portrays the back side of a box of cookies (evidenced by the {{w|nutrition facts}}-style table on the left side). Many brands have a romanticized origin story on their packaging explaining the name or how they have a secret ingredient. Instead, this brand's origin story is tale of petty one-upmanship as the brand's founder sets out to prove that her cookies are better than her grandmother's.

Grandma's cookies were apparently very fragile and crumbly. They also had "gooey exteriors and slightly crisp interiors." Normally items bake from the exterior in, so how the interior had gotten crisp and the exterior hadn't is not explained (maybe Grandma used a microwave?). The grandmother's cookies also had a "mysterious gritty texture", presumably from sand getting into the flour from the stone grinders, that would be unpleasant.

To complete her revenge, the "story" contains the grandmother's address (apparently, somewhere in Orlando, FL). Creating false addresses for their mascots is often used as a publicity stunt for children to write testimonials to the brand's PR or marketing department. However, here it appears to be Amelia's actual Grandma's actual address, the goal being for her to receive thousands of letters on a regular basis about how her granddaughter's cookies are so great, while jabbing "unlike yours!"

In retaliation, Amelia's grandmother has started submitting (presumably bogus) food safety complaints about Amelia's bakery to the health department in a ploy to overburden the bakery with unnecessarily frequent inspections. At one point Amelia eventually decided to offer a truce, which her grandmother emphatically rejected, underscoring it by sending Amelia an extra-large batch of the cookies she knows Amelia hates.

The high-resolution version of the comic may be found [https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/amelias_farm_fresh_cookies_2x.png here].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[What looks like the back of a package of cookies is shown.]

:[Top left: Product logo.]
:'''Amelia's''' Farm-Fresh ''Cookies''
:[Parts of an oval surround the logo]

:[Middle left: What appears to be a standard Nutrition Facts panel, though the details are illegible squiggles]

:[Bottom left: What appears to be an ingredients list, though the details are illegible squiggles, and a few other squiggles]

:[Right side:]
:''Our Story''
:Growing up on my grandma's farm, I spent so many cozy mornings in the kitchen, watching her take trays of fresh-baked cookies from the oven.
:Her cookies were just ''awful''.
:She used the finest ingredients. Eggs straight from the coop, stone-ground flour, hand-churned butter. But she squandered them. It's so sad. She told me I was too picky, but I know what cookies are supposed to taste like.
:When I started a bakery, I vowed not to repeat her mistakes. These cookies won't fall apart in your hands. They have gooey centers, and slightly crisp exteriors, not the other way around, ''Grandma''. There's no mysterious gritty texture. Why would there be?
:If you enjoy these cookies, please write to my grandma to let her know.
:Thanks!
:''Amelia''

:[A partially legible squiggled out address appears at the bottom left of the Our Story part of the box.]
:Ms W[illegible] M[illegible]
:1[illegible] A[illegible] Ln
:O[illegible], FL 328#1

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Food]]

2351: Standard Model Changes

2020-08-27T06:22:08Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Bosons */ caps

{{comic
| number = 2351
| date = August 26, 2020
| title = Standard Model Changes
| image = standard_model_changes.png
| titletext = Bugs are spin 1/2 particles, unless it's particularly windy.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by VIN DIESEL. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

In this comic strip, Randall is proposing some changes to the {{w|Standard Model}} of particle physics. The currently accepted particle table has 17 slots - 12 fermions (six quarks and six leptons) and five bosons (four gauge bosons and one scalar boson, the Higgs). This comic consists of a normal version of the particle table to which Randall has made substantial alternations and additions, which are drawn in red over the black and white table.

While the Standard Model's predictions are very well supported by experiments, the physics community has identified several flaws in it (e.g. it lacks any particles to convey gravity), and so lots of research is committed to searching for "{{w|Physics beyond the Standard Model}}". Some of Randall's changes are sort of intended to fill some of those gaps, but for the most part they are nonsensical.

=== Quarks ===

Randall's proposed changes to the quarks are relatively restrained -- he proposes only that the "strange" and "charm" names should be moved to bosons, while the strange quark should be renamed the "right quark" and the charm quark should be renamed the "left quark", so that all quarks will have "ordinary" directional names.

In reality, the original quark model proposed by Murray Gell-Mann included only three quarks, with the "strange" quark so named because the particles that contained them were ''strangely'' long-lived relative to their masses. The "charm" quark was so named when it was proposed because it brought a "charming" symmetry to the weak interaction, which we now understand is because it completes the second generation of quarks, along with the strange quark. When a third generation of quarks was proposed, they were called top and bottom by analogy to the up and down quarks (which are so named because of the spin they carry).

=== Leptons ===
While Randall leaves two leptons, the electron and the muon, untouched, he has opted to discard the tau lepton entirely. Each of these three leptons has an associated neutrino; Randall has decided to discard all but the electron neutrino, as he has decided that three are too many neutrino types. He has also replaced the standard symbol for the neutrino, the Greek letter nu, with a capital N, in order to avoid confusion between nu and v, the two letters appearing similar. In place of one of the neutrinos, Randall has introduced a new elementary particle that supposedly explains the existence of dark matter. The nature of dark matter is one of the most famous mysteries in physics: galaxies seem to have much higher gravity than their detectable matter would account for, yet this mysterious form of matter does not seem to interact with other matter in any detectable way.

=== Bosons ===

Randall proposes several new names for existing particles. First, that the {{w|W and Z bosons}} should be renamed to the charm and strange bosons, respectively (taking the names from the quarks), and second, that the {{w|Higgs boson}} should be named the {{w|Vin Diesel}} boson, as he considers {{w|Peter Higgs}}'s name to be too boring to be given to a particle. The Higgs boson is known in the popular press (to the chagrin of many physicists, including Higgs) as "{{w|The God Particle (book)|The God Particle}}", which is certainly a flashy name, but which itself was changed by the editors of the book of the same name from its authors' originally-intended title: The ''Goddamn'' Particle.

Speaking of the popular press, Randall also proposes that a false decoy "Magic" particle should be added to the Standard Model, to trip up promoters of {{w|quantum mysticism}}.

The title text references {{w|Spin (physics)|quantum spin number}}, a property of particles in physics that bears similarities to actual spinning. Although the "cool bugs" particle is put in the {{w|scalar boson}} group with spin 0, Randall states that it instead has spin 1/2, like a fermion. In fact, all known fermions have spin 1/2. It is thus not clear whether the "cool bugs" particle obeys the {{w|Pauli exclusion principle}} or not. The joke comes from Randall treating quantum spin as actual spin and introduces wind blowing the "cool bugs" particle around as if they were made of actual bugs, which they are not{{Citation needed}}.

{| class="wikitable"
! Particle !! Symbol !! Actual particle !! Actual symbol !! Explanation
|-
| Up quark || u || {{w|Up quark}} || u || No change.
|-
| Left quark || l || {{w|Charm quark}} || c || Randall is continuing the pattern of naming quarks after directions. This wouldn't work well with [[474: Turn-On]] unfortunately. The charm quark was named due to bringing a "charming symmetry" to the weak interaction, completing the second generation of quarks.
|-
| Top quark || t || {{w|Top quark}} || t || No change.
|-
| Gluon || g || {{w|Gluon}} || g || No change.
|-
| Vin Diesel boson || V || {{w|Higgs boson}} || H || {{w|Peter Higgs}} is a British theoretical physicist who predicted the existence of scalar bosons, particles with spin 0. Randall suggests that the Higgs boson needs a flashier name and proposes to rechristen it the "Vin Diesel boson", named after American actor {{w|Vin Diesel|Mark Sinclair}}, who has nothing to do with physics.{{Citation needed}}
|-
| Down quark || d || {{w|Down quark}} || d || No change.
|-
| Right quark || r || {{w|Strange quark}} || s || Randall is suggesting this name to match the charm (now left) quark. Particles containing this quark were considered "strangely long-lived". What's strange is how Randall assigns the charm quark the left and the strange quark the right, when so many languages have it the other way around. But since when has Randall cared?
|-
| Bottom quark || b || {{w|Bottom quark}} || b || No change.
|-
| Photon || γ || {{w|Photon}} || γ || No change.
|-
| {{w|Graviton}} || G || (none) || (none) || The graviton is a hypothetical particle which mediates the force of {{w|gravity}}, and would probably belong in the {{w|gauge boson}} group. Randall is taking a very breezy point of view, stating that it would probably be fine to include it even though its existence has not been confirmed yet. It is not recommended to act this way.{{Citation needed}}
|-
| Electron || e || {{w|Electron}} || e || No change.
|-
| Muon || µ || {{w|Muon}} || µ || No change.
|-
| (none) || (none) || {{w|Tau (particle)|Tau lepton}} || τ || The tau lepton is a lepton with average lifetime much shorter than the electron or the muon. Randall apparently considers this particle redundant and states "No one needs tau leptons".
|-
| Strange boson || s || {{w|Z boson}} || Z || The Z boson is one of two particles (three, counting the W boson's different charges) that mediate the {{w|weak force}}, named for having '''z'''ero charge. Randall suggests the strange quark's name would be better suited for this particle.
|-
| Magic || M || (none) || (none) || Randall apparently considers magic to exist and be a particle, both of which are blatantly false.{{Citation needed}} He suggests this particle as a decoy to trip up {{w|quantum mysticism}} promoters, possibly because [[1528: Vodka|he has been possessed]] by [[Black Hat]] and is [[356: Nerd Sniping|trying to run them over with a truck]].
|-
| Electron neutrino || N_e || {{w|Electron neutrino}} || v_e || Randall is annoyed by the similarity of the Greek lowercase nu (ν) and the lowercase V (v). Interestingly Randall leaves the "electron" part of its name in even though he has done away with the other neutrinos.
|-
| (none) || (none) || {{w|Muon neutrino}} || v_µ || Randall thinks one neutrino is enough, and to be honest, who can argue with him?
|-
| {{w|Dark matter}} || D || {{w|Tau neutrino}} || v_τ || Dark matter is a form of matter thought to account for most of the universe's mass. Randall claims to have found it by replacing the tau neutrino with it. This would easily be the most abundant particle in the universe.{{Citation needed}}
|-
| Charm boson || c || {{w|W boson}} || W || The other mediator of the '''w'''eak force. Randall is suggesting that it would suit the charm name more than the charm quark.
|-
| Cool bugs || 🐞 || (none) || (none) || Randall has decreed that extremely small bugs are fundamental particles. Bugs in reality are several orders of magnitude larger than any of the other particles{{Citation needed}} and would not make a good elementary particle{{Citation needed}} for a number of extremely obvious reasons{{Citation needed}} and would make physics pretty frightening to some people.{{Citation needed}} Randall pencils down the insect emoji as the symbol of the cool bugs particle.
|}

==Transcript==
[A chart of the Standard Model of particle physics with red marks all over the chart.]<br />
Changes I would make to the Standard Model

[In reading order:]<br/>
u up, connected to the down quark below.<br />
c charm, connected to the strange quark below, in faded gray with a red l left written over it. Above is a red note with an arrow pointing to the charm quark. The note reads,<br />
Consistent quark names (use "strange" and "charm" for bosons)<br />
t top, connected to the bottom quark below.<br />
g gluon<br />
H Higgs, in faded gray with a red V Vin Diesel writted over it. To the right is a red note with an arrow pointing to the Higgs boson, which reads,<br />
With all respect to Peter H, the Higgs boson needs a flashier name<br />

d down, connected to the up quark above.<br />
s strange, connected to the charm quark above, in faded gray with a red r right written over it.<br />
b bottom, connected to the top quark above.<br />
γ photon<br />
G graviton, in red with a red border. To the right is a red note with an arrow pointing to the graviton, which reads,<br />
Let's just include it, it's probably fine<br />

e electron, connected to the electron neutrino below.<br />
µ muon, connected in faded gray to the muon neutrino below, with red rounded corners cutting it off.<br />
τ tau, connected to the tau neutrino below, in faded gray with a red scribble over it. On the tau lepton is a red note which reads,<br />
No one needs tau leptons<br />
Z Z boson, with the Z symbol and the Z in the name in faded gray. The symbol has a red s written over it and the Z in the name is scribbled out in red. The word strange is written in red between the symbol and the name.<br />
M magic, in red with a red border. To the right is a red note with an arrow pointing to the magic particle, which reads,<br />
Decoy particle for people making nonsense claims about "quantum" philosophy stuff<br />

v e electron neutrino, with the e as a subscript of the v, connected to the electron above. The v is in faded gray and a red N with a circle around it is written on it. Below is a red note with an arrow pointing to the electron neutrino, which reads,<br />
Fix neutrino symbol so I stop mixing up ν and v<br />
v μ muon neutrino, with the µ as a subscript of the v, connected to the muon above, in faded gray with a red scribble over it. On the muon neutrino is a red note which reads,<br />
Too many neutrinos<br />
v τ tau neutrino, with the τ as a subscript of the v, connected to the tau lepton above, in faded gray. Written over it is a D dark matter in red with a red border. Below the tau neutrino is a red note with an arrow pointing to it, which reads,<br />
We found it!<br />
W W boson, with the W symbol and the W in the name in faded gray. The symbol has a red c written over it and the W in the name is scribbled out in red. The word charm is written in red between the symbol and the name.<br />
🐞 cool bugs, in red with a red border. To the right is a red note with an arrow pointing to cool bugs, which reads,<br />
Very small bugs are fundamental particles now

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

487: Numerical Sex Positions

2020-08-08T22:19:19Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Explanation */ Wikipedia links

{{comic
| number = 487
| date = October 10, 2008
| title = Numerical Sex Positions
| image = numerical sex positions.png
| titletext = We didn't even get to the continued fractions!
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Sex positions}} are positions that two people can have {{w|sexual intercourse}} in. Many of them are named, although only one generally accepted position is named after a number: the {{w|69 (sex position)|69}}.

[[Cueball]] and [[Megan]] try to approximate the shapes of the numbers, that they are given by the narrator, as sex positions. They start with the classic 69, then represent the number 99 as "spooning" while standing and the number 71 as "doggy-style" sex over a table. They are then given ever more difficult numbers to attempt, first 34 (maybe referencing {{w|Rule 34 (Internet meme)|rule 34 of the internet}}) - Cueball exclaims ''Uh'' as he has no idea how to make a 3 although Megan does try (in vain) to form a 4. Then they are completely baffled by {{w|square root|√8}}, and just stand there while the narrator asks ''Guys?'' - as in give it a try. And finally Megan gives up and leaves at the suggestion {{w|natural logarithm|ln}}(2{{w|pi|π}}) to the frustration of the narrator who exclaims ''Aww, c'mon''.

The narrator is so frustrated, as we are told in the title text, because he did not even get to ask them to do a {{w|continued fraction}} (which likely would have involved many other people) as the ultimate challenge.

==Transcript==
:xkcd presents
:a guide to
:numerical sex positions:

:Narrator: 69
:[Cueball and Megan perform a standing sixty-nine position i.e. mutual oral sex.]

:Narrator: 99
:[Cueball and Megan perform a standing spooning position.]

:Narrator: 71
:[Megan is bent over a table and Cueball takes her doggy-style.]

:Narrator: 34
:[Cueball looks at Megan who is contorted oddly.]
:Cueball: Uh.

:Narrator: √<span style="text-decoration: overline">8</span>
:[Cueball and Megan are staring at each other.]
:Narrator: Guys?

:Narrator: ln(2π)
:[Cueball just stands there while Megan is walking away.]
:Narrator: Aww, c'mon...

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Math]]

Talk:1643: Degrees

2020-07-19T01:20:39Z

Aaron of Mpls:

Rankine is a good compromise. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.56.65|173.245.56.65]] 14:11, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

0.173 rad = 10°. Now it could be 10°C (50°F) or 10°F (-12°C).--[[Special:Contributions/108.162.228.113|108.162.228.113]] 14:14, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

It should probably be noted that since 0.173 radians is equal to around 9.91 degrees, the temperature that Cueball gave is likely in 'radians Celsius', since 9.91 degrees Farenheit would be an unlikely temperature to occur, unless they're somewhere like Canada or northern Russia --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.152.59|162.158.152.59]] 14:17, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:It would appear that that's already been noted since I started writing that comment. Ignore me. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.152.59|162.158.152.59]] 14:18, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
::It would appear you're not in New England. Temperature last night -14°F = -26°C = -0.244 rad F = -0.556 rad C. But others have noted this as well. [[User:Bob Stein - VisiBone|Bob Stein - VisiBone]] ([[User talk:Bob Stein - VisiBone|talk]]) 23:41, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:::Even Manhattan, New York reached [http://www.wunderground.com/history/airport/KNYC/2016/2/14/DailyHistory.html -0.9°F] on Sunday, the first time it's been [http://www.weather.gov/media/okx/Climate/CentralPark/Below0DegreeDays.pdf below 0°F] there in a generation. We came within [http://www.weather.gov/media/okx/Climate/CentralPark/BiggestSnowstorms.pdf 1 part in 269] of tying the 2006 record for biggest snowstorm 3 weeks before this, broke the record for latest frost by 12 days with bitter cold 3 weeks before that, had cherry blossoms suicidally bloom on Christmas 10 days before that (because they thought it's spring) and that whole month was twice as many degrees above [http://www.weather.gov/media/okx/Climate/CentralPark/nycnormals.pdf normal] as the [http://www.weather.gov/media/okx/Climate/CentralPark/warmcoldmonths.pdf previous record warmest December]. We also broke the record for warmest November and September a few months ago. This is called [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/global_weirding global weirding.] <small>(the more accurate name for global warming)</small> [[Special:Contributions/199.27.129.11|199.27.129.11]] 04:28, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

Guys, we moved away from the Réaumur-scale: You can do the same for the Fahrenheit :-). --[[User:DaB.|DaB.]] ([[User talk:DaB.|talk]]) 14:20, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
: And we all moved away from the Rømer scale (what Reumer and Fahrenheit were both based on), 0F is 0Rø, 100C/80Reu is 80Rø). We even moved from the 100C-0C to 0C-100C since Celsius was a (half) crazy Swedish scientist who thought Reumer made sense if it was based on 100 instead of 80, and 100 was the freezing point (everybody ignores the second part of his scale).[[Special:Contributions/162.158.114.222|162.158.114.222]] 17:07, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:: {{w|Ole_Rømer|Rømer}} was {{w|Danish}} -- Calling him Sweedish is an insult -- kind if the same insult as calling Cruz Canadian [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 17:14, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:::Then it was great that it was Celsius who was called a ''crazy Swedish scientist'' above, (and he was Swedish). Rømer is luckily more known for making the first quantitative measurements of the speed of light and not for his failed temperature scale. (I'm from Denmark and like the light part: He measured the hesitation of light ;-) --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 21:31, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

I'm pretty sure the only people who could possibly find "Fahrenheit" easier to spell than "Celsius" are those whose first written language was German. [[User:Promethean|Promethean]] ([[User talk:Promethean|talk]]) 01:31, 17 February 2016 (UTC)

Considering how cold New England is today, I'm pretty sure it's Fahrenheit. {{unsigned ip|108.162.218.71}}

Temperature is given in F. Look at which month it is. And how this is a darn cold winter (at least in Canada). [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.43|108.162.216.43]] 14:32, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
: its currently 10F in the Boston area where Randall lives.
:: For people from the future, see [https://www.wunderground.com/history/airport/KBOS/2016/2/15/DailyHistory.html?req_city=Somerville&req_state=MA&reqdb.zip=02143&reqdb.magic=1&reqdb.wmo=99999 this historical data page for the day the comic was released] --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.214.59|108.162.214.59]] 19:00, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
::: Thanks, 108.162.214.59 and others! At that time of year, ''either'' temperature would be possible in Boston, Massachusetts -- 10°F (-12°C) during a cold night or a strong cold snap; 10°C (50°F) during a midwinter thaw. --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 01:19, 19 July 2020 (UTC)

What's with the "We lost a Mars probe over this" remark? [[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.113|141.101.104.113]] 14:33, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
: One of the Mars probes crashed into Mars because one of the NASA contractors was using US Customary units instead of SI units. [[User:Blaisepascal|Blaisepascal]] ([[User talk:Blaisepascal|talk]]) 14:39, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:: Is there a reference for this ?? [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 17:17, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
::: It was the Mars Climate Orbiter, it crashed in 1999 because software supplied by Lockheed Martin produced results in US customary units even though the specs called for metrics units. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mars_Climate_Orbiter [[User:Martin|Martin]] ([[User talk:Martin|talk]]) 22:04, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

:The mars probe remark is in reference to a mistake in switching navigational numbers from American standard to metric (namely in that they didn't) which caused the probe to slam into the surface of mars. If I remember correctly that is.[[Special:Contributions/108.162.238.78|108.162.238.78]] 14:43, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:: I remember when this happened, thinking "OK, Lockheed, time to get out your checkbook and cough up the entire cost of that probe and launch," though I expect their bought-and-paid-for pet legislators made sure that didn't happen. [[User:Miamiclay|Miamiclay]] ([[User talk:Miamiclay|talk]]) 21:23, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

I used to think that physicists prefer Kelvin, which is of course sort of based on Celsius. [[User:Jkrstrt|Jkrstrt]] ([[User talk:Jkrstrt|talk]]) 15:28, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

If he used Radians Fahrenheit, then 1 would be very close to earth's historical mean temperature for the period 1951 to 1980. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.55.64|173.245.55.64]] 16:19, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
: That sounds like it could almost be useful.... What is the temperature on the surface on the sun in Radians ? [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 17:20, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:: 96.08 [https://www.google.com/search?q=5505+degrees+in+radians radians] [https://www.google.com/search?q=temperature+of+surface+of+sun+in+degrees+Celsius Celsius], or 173.5 [https://www.google.com/search?q=9941+degrees+in+radians radians] [https://www.google.com/search?q=temperature+of+surface+of+sun+in+degrees+Fahrenheit Fahrenheit]. --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.214.59|108.162.214.59]] 19:00, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

"Easier to spell"? When editing, I had to correct myself from "Celcius" to "Celsius". I never get Fahrenheit wrong! [[User:Cosmogoblin|Cosmogoblin]] ([[User talk:Cosmogoblin|talk]]) 20:55, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

Can someone explain to me why Fahrenheit's scale is so much more popular across the Atlantic than in his home <s>city</s> <s>country</s> continent? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.102.219|162.158.102.219]] 21:37, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:Same reason that the British used it. It was there. Unlike the Brits the US just never got around to change it [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 02:18, 16 February 2016 (UTC)
:: As a Brit. I love it that the US was at one point the last bastion of the BTU (British Thermal Unit), I still see 17th century measures in some farming contexts - bushels though I think we both still agree that "Acres" are a much better measure area than the soul-destroying "hectare". :) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.34.147|162.158.34.147]] 08:22, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

Not being an instinctive science type, and on a tiny screen, I initially read the comic as "51 prefixes," and thought to myself "I could probably get from peta- to pico- in my head, but there are really 51 of those?" [[User:Miamiclay|Miamiclay]] ([[User talk:Miamiclay|talk]]) 02:46, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

Maybe one should include the explanation why both angles and temperature use the term "degree". "Degree" in measurement means, that the definition comes from a partition of a known interval. For angles, that is "a full circle is 360 degrees" and for temperature in Celsius that is "100°C is the range from freezing to boiling water". That is historical, because modern SI units are defined in terms of partitions as well.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.90.163|162.158.90.163]] 10:23, 16 February 2016 (UTC)
: I'm not a linguist, but I think that it to a certain degree (!) just means "partial", "part" or "step" -- I can agree with you partially by which I will agree with you to a degree -- any scale can in a similar degree be broken up where each part is a degree closer to the full outcome -- so in Temperature a degree is a step toward boiling, and your Masters degree is a step beyond your Bachelor towards your Doctoral degree -- in short it is to some degree just a duhdah word representing nothing but makes it easier to form a sentence around an abstract concept [[Special:Contributions/162.158.255.109|162.158.255.109]] 20:28, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

talking about weird us customs/units i think the way trailers and such specify release dates by season is terrible. 1. there are 2 hemispheres 2. internationally seasons may vary and it is rarely specified if its north or south seasons [[Special:Contributions/162.158.177.185|162.158.177.185]] 06:37, 17 February 2016 (UTC)

Personally, I like to give temperature in meV/particle [[User:Edo|Edo]] ([[User talk:Edo|talk]]) 14:29, 17 February 2016 (UTC)
: Do you mean MeV per non-frozen degree of freedom? The nitrogen in room-temperature air carries five-sixths the MeV/atom as argon in the same air at the same temperature. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.9|108.162.216.9]] 00:21, 18 February 2016 (UTC)
: So he should have said 22.48 meV. I also prefer that as temperature shouldn't really a "base unit"

Haha, "degree of correlation". Nice. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.58.9|162.158.58.9]] 10:34, 27 December 2016 (UTC)

Wouldn't a physics major be more likely to be loyal to the Kelvin scale than to Celsius? Heck, even the Rankine scale is more scientific than celsius; it's by far the least popular of the four, but it's still more scientific than celsius due to the fact that it starts at absolute zero like Kelvin does

Another "benefit" for Fahrenheit is that it is more precise. That is, each change in degree Fahrenheit is a smaller change in temperature, so you can be a bit more precise without needing to add digits after a decimal point. I also find it noteworthy that there are 180 degrees (Fahrenheit) between freezing and boiling. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fahrenheit#History This is not coincidence], but was explicitly decided by a committee in 1776. Clearly, the choice of 180 degrees is related to a half-circle, so it almost makes sense to talk about "radians Fahrenheit", where the difference between boiling and freezing is pi. [[User:Shamino|Shamino]] ([[User talk:Shamino|talk]]) 14:03, 3 June 2020 (UTC)

Talk:1643: Degrees

2020-07-19T01:19:53Z

Aaron of Mpls:

Rankine is a good compromise. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.56.65|173.245.56.65]] 14:11, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

0.173 rad = 10°. Now it could be 10°C (50°F) or 10°F (-12°C).--[[Special:Contributions/108.162.228.113|108.162.228.113]] 14:14, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

It should probably be noted that since 0.173 radians is equal to around 9.91 degrees, the temperature that Cueball gave is likely in 'radians Celsius', since 9.91 degrees Farenheit would be an unlikely temperature to occur, unless they're somewhere like Canada or northern Russia --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.152.59|162.158.152.59]] 14:17, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:It would appear that that's already been noted since I started writing that comment. Ignore me. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.152.59|162.158.152.59]] 14:18, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
::It would appear you're not in New England. Temperature last night -14°F = -26°C = -0.244 rad F = -0.556 rad C. But others have noted this as well. [[User:Bob Stein - VisiBone|Bob Stein - VisiBone]] ([[User talk:Bob Stein - VisiBone|talk]]) 23:41, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:::Even Manhattan, New York reached [http://www.wunderground.com/history/airport/KNYC/2016/2/14/DailyHistory.html -0.9°F] on Sunday, the first time it's been [http://www.weather.gov/media/okx/Climate/CentralPark/Below0DegreeDays.pdf below 0°F] there in a generation. We came within [http://www.weather.gov/media/okx/Climate/CentralPark/BiggestSnowstorms.pdf 1 part in 269] of tying the 2006 record for biggest snowstorm 3 weeks before this, broke the record for latest frost by 12 days with bitter cold 3 weeks before that, had cherry blossoms suicidally bloom on Christmas 10 days before that (because they thought it's spring) and that whole month was twice as many degrees above [http://www.weather.gov/media/okx/Climate/CentralPark/nycnormals.pdf normal] as the [http://www.weather.gov/media/okx/Climate/CentralPark/warmcoldmonths.pdf previous record warmest December]. We also broke the record for warmest November and September a few months ago. This is called [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/global_weirding global weirding.] <small>(the more accurate name for global warming)</small> [[Special:Contributions/199.27.129.11|199.27.129.11]] 04:28, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

Guys, we moved away from the Réaumur-scale: You can do the same for the Fahrenheit :-). --[[User:DaB.|DaB.]] ([[User talk:DaB.|talk]]) 14:20, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
: And we all moved away from the Rømer scale (what Reumer and Fahrenheit were both based on), 0F is 0Rø, 100C/80Reu is 80Rø). We even moved from the 100C-0C to 0C-100C since Celsius was a (half) crazy Swedish scientist who thought Reumer made sense if it was based on 100 instead of 80, and 100 was the freezing point (everybody ignores the second part of his scale).[[Special:Contributions/162.158.114.222|162.158.114.222]] 17:07, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:: {{w|Ole_Rømer|Rømer}} was {{w|Danish}} -- Calling him Sweedish is an insult -- kind if the same insult as calling Cruz Canadian [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 17:14, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:::Then it was great that it was Celsius who was called a ''crazy Swedish scientist'' above, (and he was Swedish). Rømer is luckily more known for making the first quantitative measurements of the speed of light and not for his failed temperature scale. (I'm from Denmark and like the light part: He measured the hesitation of light ;-) --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 21:31, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

I'm pretty sure the only people who could possibly find "Fahrenheit" easier to spell than "Celsius" are those whose first written language was German. [[User:Promethean|Promethean]] ([[User talk:Promethean|talk]]) 01:31, 17 February 2016 (UTC)

Considering how cold New England is today, I'm pretty sure it's Fahrenheit. {{unsigned ip|108.162.218.71}}

Temperature is given in F. Look at which month it is. And how this is a darn cold winter (at least in Canada). [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.43|108.162.216.43]] 14:32, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
: its currently 10F in the Boston area where Randall lives.
:: For people from the future, see [https://www.wunderground.com/history/airport/KBOS/2016/2/15/DailyHistory.html?req_city=Somerville&req_state=MA&reqdb.zip=02143&reqdb.magic=1&reqdb.wmo=99999 this historical data page for the day the comic was released] --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.214.59|108.162.214.59]] 19:00, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
::: Thanks, 108.162.214.59! At that time of year, ''either'' temperature would be possible in Boston, Massachusetts -- 10°F (-12°C) during a cold night or a strong cold snap; 10°C (50°F) during a midwinter thaw. --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 01:19, 19 July 2020 (UTC)

What's with the "We lost a Mars probe over this" remark? [[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.113|141.101.104.113]] 14:33, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
: One of the Mars probes crashed into Mars because one of the NASA contractors was using US Customary units instead of SI units. [[User:Blaisepascal|Blaisepascal]] ([[User talk:Blaisepascal|talk]]) 14:39, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:: Is there a reference for this ?? [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 17:17, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
::: It was the Mars Climate Orbiter, it crashed in 1999 because software supplied by Lockheed Martin produced results in US customary units even though the specs called for metrics units. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mars_Climate_Orbiter [[User:Martin|Martin]] ([[User talk:Martin|talk]]) 22:04, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

:The mars probe remark is in reference to a mistake in switching navigational numbers from American standard to metric (namely in that they didn't) which caused the probe to slam into the surface of mars. If I remember correctly that is.[[Special:Contributions/108.162.238.78|108.162.238.78]] 14:43, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:: I remember when this happened, thinking "OK, Lockheed, time to get out your checkbook and cough up the entire cost of that probe and launch," though I expect their bought-and-paid-for pet legislators made sure that didn't happen. [[User:Miamiclay|Miamiclay]] ([[User talk:Miamiclay|talk]]) 21:23, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

I used to think that physicists prefer Kelvin, which is of course sort of based on Celsius. [[User:Jkrstrt|Jkrstrt]] ([[User talk:Jkrstrt|talk]]) 15:28, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

If he used Radians Fahrenheit, then 1 would be very close to earth's historical mean temperature for the period 1951 to 1980. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.55.64|173.245.55.64]] 16:19, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
: That sounds like it could almost be useful.... What is the temperature on the surface on the sun in Radians ? [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 17:20, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:: 96.08 [https://www.google.com/search?q=5505+degrees+in+radians radians] [https://www.google.com/search?q=temperature+of+surface+of+sun+in+degrees+Celsius Celsius], or 173.5 [https://www.google.com/search?q=9941+degrees+in+radians radians] [https://www.google.com/search?q=temperature+of+surface+of+sun+in+degrees+Fahrenheit Fahrenheit]. --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.214.59|108.162.214.59]] 19:00, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

"Easier to spell"? When editing, I had to correct myself from "Celcius" to "Celsius". I never get Fahrenheit wrong! [[User:Cosmogoblin|Cosmogoblin]] ([[User talk:Cosmogoblin|talk]]) 20:55, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

Can someone explain to me why Fahrenheit's scale is so much more popular across the Atlantic than in his home <s>city</s> <s>country</s> continent? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.102.219|162.158.102.219]] 21:37, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
:Same reason that the British used it. It was there. Unlike the Brits the US just never got around to change it [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 02:18, 16 February 2016 (UTC)
:: As a Brit. I love it that the US was at one point the last bastion of the BTU (British Thermal Unit), I still see 17th century measures in some farming contexts - bushels though I think we both still agree that "Acres" are a much better measure area than the soul-destroying "hectare". :) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.34.147|162.158.34.147]] 08:22, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

Not being an instinctive science type, and on a tiny screen, I initially read the comic as "51 prefixes," and thought to myself "I could probably get from peta- to pico- in my head, but there are really 51 of those?" [[User:Miamiclay|Miamiclay]] ([[User talk:Miamiclay|talk]]) 02:46, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

Maybe one should include the explanation why both angles and temperature use the term "degree". "Degree" in measurement means, that the definition comes from a partition of a known interval. For angles, that is "a full circle is 360 degrees" and for temperature in Celsius that is "100°C is the range from freezing to boiling water". That is historical, because modern SI units are defined in terms of partitions as well.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.90.163|162.158.90.163]] 10:23, 16 February 2016 (UTC)
: I'm not a linguist, but I think that it to a certain degree (!) just means "partial", "part" or "step" -- I can agree with you partially by which I will agree with you to a degree -- any scale can in a similar degree be broken up where each part is a degree closer to the full outcome -- so in Temperature a degree is a step toward boiling, and your Masters degree is a step beyond your Bachelor towards your Doctoral degree -- in short it is to some degree just a duhdah word representing nothing but makes it easier to form a sentence around an abstract concept [[Special:Contributions/162.158.255.109|162.158.255.109]] 20:28, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

talking about weird us customs/units i think the way trailers and such specify release dates by season is terrible. 1. there are 2 hemispheres 2. internationally seasons may vary and it is rarely specified if its north or south seasons [[Special:Contributions/162.158.177.185|162.158.177.185]] 06:37, 17 February 2016 (UTC)

Personally, I like to give temperature in meV/particle [[User:Edo|Edo]] ([[User talk:Edo|talk]]) 14:29, 17 February 2016 (UTC)
: Do you mean MeV per non-frozen degree of freedom? The nitrogen in room-temperature air carries five-sixths the MeV/atom as argon in the same air at the same temperature. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.9|108.162.216.9]] 00:21, 18 February 2016 (UTC)
: So he should have said 22.48 meV. I also prefer that as temperature shouldn't really a "base unit"

Haha, "degree of correlation". Nice. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.58.9|162.158.58.9]] 10:34, 27 December 2016 (UTC)

Wouldn't a physics major be more likely to be loyal to the Kelvin scale than to Celsius? Heck, even the Rankine scale is more scientific than celsius; it's by far the least popular of the four, but it's still more scientific than celsius due to the fact that it starts at absolute zero like Kelvin does

Another "benefit" for Fahrenheit is that it is more precise. That is, each change in degree Fahrenheit is a smaller change in temperature, so you can be a bit more precise without needing to add digits after a decimal point. I also find it noteworthy that there are 180 degrees (Fahrenheit) between freezing and boiling. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fahrenheit#History This is not coincidence], but was explicitly decided by a committee in 1776. Clearly, the choice of 180 degrees is related to a half-circle, so it almost makes sense to talk about "radians Fahrenheit", where the difference between boiling and freezing is pi. [[User:Shamino|Shamino]] ([[User talk:Shamino|talk]]) 14:03, 3 June 2020 (UTC)

Talk:1137: RTL

2020-06-16T23:54:19Z

Aaron of Mpls:

There's a typo in the comic - hte should be eht for "the" spelled backwards -jars99

:Unless you consider "th" a single character, which by the way makes a lot of sense as it is derived from old-english "eth". {{unsigned|62.245.198.190}}
::Unless you further consider that "they" doesn't share that in the comic, making it internally inconsistent. [[Special:Contributions/76.122.5.96|76.122.5.96]] 11:40, 21 November 2012 (UTC)
:::It should be noted that at some point, "the" was corrected. [[User:Rawmustard|Rawmustard]] ([[User talk:Rawmustard|talk]]) 16:42, 22 November 2012 (UTC)

Acutally, unicode 202e doesn't "flip proceeding text back-to-front", it overrides the direction, setting it to "right-to-left" for the following text. It's back-to-front for most of us like "left-to-right" is to other writing systems. I know it's nitpicking, but xkcd readers should appreciate the symmetry. [[User:BKA|BKA]] ([[User talk:BKA|talk]]) 07:23, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

I don't see the reversed title. My window manager is not UTF-8 compatible, so when a window title is set to string containing UTF-8 characters, it doesn't change. This brings the question if it really is a browser problem or if the browsers behave as expected and the window manager is at fault. -- [[Special:Contributions/89.177.52.2|89.177.52.2]] 09:17, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

:It's not a ''problem'' per sec. Browsers that get the reversed title are processing the UTF symbol correctly, there's no bug there. And the window manager has no bearing on the title text except for maybe font. [[User:Davidy22|<span title="I want you."><u><font color="purple" size="2px">David</font><font color="green" size="3px">y</font></u><sup><font color="indigo" size="1px">22</font></sup></span>]][[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>(talk)</tt>]] 09:32, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

::Well its the window manager that renders the window title, but it is composed by the Browser. I think that the browser should insert an appropriate number of U+202c characters, in this case it should be "xkcd: [U+202e]LTR[U+202c] - Mozilla Firefox". That would render as xkcd: RTL - Mozilla Firefox". By the way, the tab caption in Firefox is "xkcd: LTR". In Chromium and Opera it is shown correctly as "xkcd: RTL". [[User:Joha.ma|Joha.ma]] ([[User talk:Joha.ma|talk]]) 09:47, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

Another way to see this in effect is to try to type in this test page: http://www.fileformat.info/info/unicode/char/202e/browsertest.htm - and this also works in etherpad, as suggested in the caption.--[[User:Anarcat|Anarcat]] ([[User talk:Anarcat|talk]]) 00:09, 22 November 2012 (UTC)

Black Hat seems to have used U+202b, not e. The individual characters are left-to-right. Check the D, E, L, N, S, and ? [[Special:Contributions/24.193.153.138|24.193.153.138]] 02:46, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
:No, U+202e does not actually mirror the characters themselves, just the displayed order. U+202b only changes the order for characters that don't have embedded direction, such as the period, which can be used with multiple languages. [[User:Bugefun|Bugefun]] ([[User talk:Bugefun|talk]]) 05:00, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
::Actually, it does mirror some characters, namely those that have the ''mirrored'' property. For example, the parentheses or mathematical relations like the less-than sign. [http://www.unicode.org/Public/UNIDATA/BidiMirroring.txt Here] is a list of them. --[[User:Ulm|Ulm]] ([[User talk:Ulm|talk]]) 12:34, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
:::‮The text is not always mirrored - some browsers and font-sets do not 'understand' U+202E, so the text here might be displayed with a box before it. [[Special:Contributions/173.49.135.77|173.49.135.77]] 15:24, 27 December 2012 (UTC)

The title of this comic has an embedded RTL in the title, as has been noted somewhere. Because of this, Randall's Archive page is now screwed up, with all titles before this comic (listed after this comic on the Archive page in descending order) now being reversed. Ha, ha! He hacked himself!
[[Special:Contributions/70.111.5.179|70.111.5.179]] 01:59, 14 January 2013 (UTC)larK

just randomly came across this comic today, and not only is the title LTR, but also preceeded by some gibberish characters: "â€®LTR" using firefox, don't know how - i don't think it has always been like that on my machine... [[Special:Contributions/162.158.89.187|162.158.89.187]]
:Same here (as in on Firefox). Kinda messed up my 'looking stuff up on explainxkcd' workflow... It also shows up like that on InternetExplorer.[[Special:Contributions/108.162.229.110|108.162.229.110]] 15:21, 2 December 2019 (UTC)
::It's working for me right now; title shows as RTL, and Firefox's title bar shows "xkcd: xoferiF allizoM - RTL". As for those gibberish characters, that's U+202e in the wrong encoding -- probably Windows-1252 instead of UTF-8. Check your browser's encoding if it's still happening. --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 23:54, 16 June 2020 (UTC)

Talk:2315: Eventual Consistency

2020-06-03T21:30:47Z

Aaron of Mpls:

The current explanation says that "Cueball's employer wants him to continue his work in the COVID-19 pandemic," but that's a "citation needed" sort of statement. Even if the comic is taken to be literally occurring on the day it is published (which is not always the case as comics have taken place in the past, the future, alternate presents, and even spanning large periods of time), there are perhaps multiple things adding up together to make it "hard to focus right now." In the USA, there's hot temperatures, civil unrest, economic woes springing from or accelerated by the pandemic, and even political considerations that may make it hard to focus (governmental responses to current events potentially being out of proportion with the events, etc). If Cueball is elsewhere in the world, there may be other local conditions that might make things hard to focus. There's stuff going on in Hong Kong, the Middle East, Brazil, Somalia, and all over the world that could be making it hard for someone in those locales to concentrate on their work even if the pandemic weren't a possible contributing factor.

Then, of course, since the comic doesn't specify what is causing it to be hard to concentrate, it's a bit deictic, and the comic can be linked as a response to multiple future situations (not all of them bad -- having a baby, for instance, can make it hard to concentrate on work.) [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.52|108.162.216.52]] 20:58, 3 June 2020 (UTC)

Side note: YouTuber Tom Scott explained ''eventual consistency'' in one of his ''[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL96C35uN7xGLLeET0dOWaKHkAlPsrkcha The Basics]'' videos: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY_2gElt3SA "Why Computers Can't Count Sometimes"]. --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 21:30, 3 June 2020 (UTC)

2315: Eventual Consistency

2020-06-03T21:27:12Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Explanation */ explained eventual consistency a bit

{{comic
| number = 2315
| date = June 3, 2020
| title = Eventual Consistency
| image = eventual_consistency.png
| titletext = Later I'm going to get a head start on the heat bath.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an EVENTUALLY CONSISTENT BOT. First revision. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
[[Cueball]]'s employer wants him to continue his work in the {{w|COVID-19}} pandemic. The stated task is to "test the database" and "guarantee eventual consistency". Trying to avoid work, Cueball points out that the {{w|second law of thermodynamics}} itself "guarantees eventual consistency", as the {{w|universe}} is ''guaranteed'' to ''eventually'' die a {{w|Heat death of the universe|heat death}}, at maximum {{w|entropy}} and perfect ''consistency''. His boss retorts that in a heat death, nobody can work; Cueball claims that he's simply getting a head start on this.

''Eventual consistency'' has a double meaning here. In computing, many systems are ''{{w|distributed computing|distributed}}'' (spread out) across multiple servers, sometimes in very different parts of the world. When data changes -- like the number of views on a video or the likes on a social media post -- updating it across ''every'' server can be a challenge, and it's often not practical to keep the data perfectly in synch everywhere. So the system will use {{w|eventual consistency}} instead. Each individual server will record changes, and after a certain amount of time or a certain amount of change, the results will be synched across the whole network. At any given moment, an individual server's data will be a little off -- but ''eventually'' everything will get recorded correctly.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball sits at a home desk.]
:Laptop: I know it's hard to focus right now, but we should try to finish testing the DB.
:Cueball: ''Ughhhh.''
:Cueball: Okay.

:Laptop: The system needs to guarantee eventual consistency.
:Cueball: I mean, it does.

:[Closeup of Cueball.]
:Cueball: Eventual consistency is guaranteed by the 2nd law of thermodynamics.
:Cueball: Sooner or later this will all be a uniform heat bath.
:Cueball: Maximum entropy.

:[Back to Cueball and desk.]
:Laptop: Maximum entropy means no useful work can be done!
:Cueball: I'm getting a head start by doing no useful work ''now''.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:COVID-19]]

2309: X

2020-06-03T20:01:04Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Explanation */ expanded about esoteric languages

{{comic
| number = 2309
| date = May 20, 2020
| title = X
| image = x.png
| titletext = The worst is when you run out of monospaced fonts and have to use variable-width variables.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a COMIC SANS X AND A NEW PROGRAMMER. This page needs an expanded explanation of what esoteric languages are. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

[[Cueball]] has developed a new {{w|programming language}} with novel syntax. Such languages are usually classified as {{w|esoteric programming language|esoteric language}}s -- programming languages developed for no practical use other than novelty, challenge, or academic interest, and which are difficult to understand or work with (although that doesn't stop people from trying to use them). Some classic examples of these are {{w|INTERCAL}} and {{w|brainfuck}}.

Normally, there is no law against developing bad programming languages or bad code (although some would argue there should be). The law often has to play catch-up with technology. However, as when the EPA took an interest in Cueball's [[Laptop Issues]], and [[:Category:Cueball Computer Problems|Cueball's other tech support problems]], it seems that a judge has previously ordered Cueball to stop developing new programming languages, possibly because the result was so egregious as to cause real harm. However, the ruling was overturned on appeal, and Cueball is free to inflict his work on the world once again, unless and until there is another appeal. Cueball's use of the phrase "''higher'' court" suggests that he did not get a ruling from the Supreme Court of the United States or whatever state has jurisdiction over him, or else he would have said so, and evidently the offscreen voices hope to appeal to them and get Cueball's injunction reinstated.

A {{w|Variable (computer science)|variable}} is a piece of data (such as an integer or a string of text) whose value can change over the run of a program. Variables are identified by name and can usually be named any string of alphanumeric characters. To make code easier for a human to follow, variables are usually given a name that indicates what the variable is for; for example, a variable counting how many seconds have passed since the program was launched might be called '''elapsedTime'''.

Some programmers, particularly if they are working under time pressure, may give their variables nondescript names such as '''x'''. This is considered bad coding practice, because anyone reading the code will not immediately understand what the variable does unless they are familiar with it. Even the original programmer may come back to it and find that they have forgotten what the variable was for.

Here, Cueball is developing a language where ''all'' variables are named '''X''' - and the only way to differentiate different Xs is to write it in different typefaces. Needless to say, this is a terrible idea. The language would be a nightmare to program in, as all of the variables would look very similar unless careful attention is being paid, and there would be little to no way to determine what each one does, since font names are typically not very descriptive. Additionally, the fact that some fonts look similar (such as Arial and Helvetica) would require the programmer to have an intricate knowledge of different fonts and how to distinguish them from only one letter.

Such a language would also require the source code files to be in some rich text format such as a Word document, in order to store the font information. Additionally, it would also require the use of a word processor or similar in order to edit the code. Programs would also run into difficulties if the system does not have the required fonts installed, or if the font is not licensed for them to use.

By contrast, normal code is always written in plain text (usually with ASCII or UTF-8 encoding), which does not specify a typeface and can be edited by even the most basic of text editors.

This comic may also be a jab at mathematicians, who by convention use variable names which are short and nondescript (e.g. "x"), and which can also be "typeface sensitive" - for example, ℕ denotes the set of natural numbers, and it is not uncommon to see the definition of a limit as "For every ℇ>0 there exists N in ℕ such that for every n in ℕ, if n>N, |f(n)-l|<ℇ". Or for example, ℜ may denote the real part of a complex number, whereas ℝ denotes the set of real numbers, and R might denote the radius of some circle in the complex plane.

The title text references the fact that most code editors use a monospaced font (i.e., one where every character is the same width), as opposed to variable-width fonts, in which some characters like 'I' are narrower than others. This is partly because fixed horizontal alignment is sometimes useful when dealing with certain text strings.

'Variable-width variables', a pun on two meanings of the word 'variable', refers to the fact that the letter X, like all letters, has different widths in different fonts. This would make this fixed alignment almost impossible, thus creating yet another reason why Cueball's language would be highly unpleasant to use. It likely also directly (mis)refers to systems such as {{w|variable-width encoding}} in which the ''data'' linked to in a variable storage is packed into an unfixed number of bits and/or bytes. Such systems often use Huffman-type encoding to progressively differentiate, from the initial elements, how many more elements are needed to fully define the value, but a reserved deliminating value marking the end of a cummulative arbitrary-length array might be considered another form.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Cueball holds a laptop with code visible on the screen.]
:Cueball: I've developed a new programming language!
:Offpanel voice: Didn't a judge order you to stop doing that?

:[In a frameless panel, Cueball holds the laptop with one hand and types on the keyboard.]
:Cueball: Higher court threw out the ruling!
:Cueball: I'm back, suckers!
:Offpanel voice: ''Dammit.''

:[Cueball holds the folded down laptop at his side.]
:Cueball: But I promise it's good this time!
:Cueball: Just normal code. Good clean syntax. Nothing weird.
:Offpanel voice: Okay...

:[Cueball holds the laptop at his side, and raises a finger on his other hand.]
:Cueball: Except the only variable name is "X". To refer to different variables you have to write "X" in different fonts.
:Offpanel voice: I'm calling the court.
:Another offpanel voice: Maybe we can appeal.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category: Programming]]

2311: Confidence Interval

2020-06-03T18:28:18Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Explanation */ more wp links

{{comic
| number = 2311
| date = May 25, 2020
| title = Confidence Interval
| image = confidence_interval.png
| titletext = The worst part is that's the millisigma interval.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a TERRIBLE MODEL. Link to relevant statistical terms missing. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This is another one of Randall's [[: Category:Tips|Tips]], this time a Science Tip.

Graphs of continuous functions' predicted values often show {{w|confidence interval}}s, a region (either shaded or marked with dotted lines, the latter used here) that indicates the {{w|observational error|margin of error}} for the prediction at any point. The joke in this comic is that the estimate has so much uncertainty that the confidence interval extends off the top and bottom of the chart, which in a real report would usually prevent it from being printed and require a re-scaled chart to show it. This may be a tip as if it's outside the printable area, it won't be seen by anyone who reads it, and thus they won't realize how bad your model is, though this is more of a tip in how to trick people into falsely thinking you've shown a good result with your work than it is a tip in performing an actual legitimate useful scientific result.

In the title text, a millisigma would be an error of +/- 1/1000th of a {{w|standard deviation}}. Statistical error and uncertainty is typically measured by {{w|standard deviation}}, which is written in formulas with the Greek letter {{w|sigma}}, and is also frequently referred to by the word "sigma." Measurements of sample means, one of the most common experimentally determined variables, will tend to follow a {{w|normal distribution}}, such that 68 percent of members of the population will fall within one sigma (plus or minus) of the mean value, 95 percent within two sigma, and 99.7 percent within three sigma. Any of these intervals may be usefully reported as the confidence interval, so long as it's made clear to the reader, but two- or three-sigma are sufficient for most applications. However, this graph shows data of such poor quality (or such poorly-chosen {{w|y-axis|''y''-axis}} bounds) that even the "millisigma" confidence interval (+/- 1/1000th of a sigma, or 0.08% of the population -- not often used in science, but occasionally found in e.g. [https://researchservices.pitt.edu/sites/default/files/flexAnalysis%20User%20Manual.pdf molecular analysis tools]) does not fit on the graph. Variations in the curve that are small compared to the {{w|error bar}} typically can't be distinguished from errors. Therefore, the shape of the curve - and the entire graph in this example - is meaningless.

==Transcript==
:[A graph is shown in the middle of the panel. There is a square frame around it. The graph has two unlabeled axes with ticks along both axes. The axes end in arrows. A solid line graph is shown. It begins around the middle of the Y axis, goes up and flattens twice before falling down towards the right. Far above and just below the frame around the graph are two gray dotted lines. They do not follow the same path as the solid line inside the frame, but do follow the same general trend. Below the graph, but inside the frame, is a caption:]
:Fig. 2: Predicted Curve

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Science tip: If your model is bad enough, the confidence intervals will fall outside the printable area.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Tips]]
[[Category:Statistics]]

327: Exploits of a Mom

2020-03-25T12:56:16Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Explanation */ code tags on comment code

{{comic
| number = 327
| date = October 10, 2007
| title = Exploits of a Mom
| image = exploits_of_a_mom.png
| titletext = Her daughter is named Help I'm trapped in a driver's license factory.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Mrs. Roberts]] receives a call from her [[Little Bobby Tables|son]]'s school. The caller, likely one of the school's administrators, asks if she really named her son <code>Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--</code>, a rather unusual name.{{Citation needed}} Perhaps surprisingly, Mrs. Roberts responds in the affirmative, claiming that she uses the nickname "Little Bobby Tables." As the full name is read into the school's system's databases without {{w|Data sanitization#SQL injection|data sanitization}}, it causes the "Students" table in the database to be dropped, meaning it gets deleted.

The title of this comic is a pun. ''Exploit'' can mean an accomplishment or heroic deed, but in computer science, the term refers to a program or technique that takes advantage of a vulnerability in other software. In fact, one could say that her exploit is to exploit an exploit (her achievement is to make use of a vulnerability). The title can also refer to her choice of name for her son, which is rather extraordinary.

In {{w|SQL}}, a database programming language, commands are separated by semicolons <code>;</code>, and strings of text are often delimited using single quotes <code>'</code>. Parts of commands may also be enclosed in parentheses <code>(</code> and <code>)</code>. Data entries are stored as "rows" within named "tables" of similar items (e.g., <code>Students</code>). The command to delete an entire table (and thus every row of data in that table) is <code>DROP TABLE</code>, as in <code>DROP TABLE Students;</code>.

The exploited vulnerability here is that the single quote in the name input was not correctly "escaped" by the software. That is, if a student's name did indeed contain a quote mark, it should have been read as one of the characters making up the text string and not as the marker to close the string, which it erroneously was. Lack of careful parsing is a common SQL vulnerability; this type of exploit is referred to as {{w|SQL injection}}. Mrs. Roberts thus reminds the school to make sure that they have added data filtering code to prevent code injection exploits in the future.

For example, to add information about Elaine to a data table called 'Students', the SQL query could be:
<br><code>INSERT INTO Students (firstname) VALUES ('Elaine');</code>

However, using the odd name <code>Robert');DROP TABLE Students;-- </code> where we used "Elaine" above, the SQL query becomes:
<br><code>INSERT INTO Students (firstname) VALUES ('Robert');DROP TABLE Students;-- ');</code>

By insertion of the two semi-colons in the odd name, this is now three well-formed SQL commands:
<br><code>
INSERT INTO Students (firstname) VALUES ('Robert');

DROP TABLE Students;

-- ');
</code>

The first line is valid SQL code that will legitimately insert data about a student named Robert.

The second line is valid injected SQL code that will delete the whole Student data table from the database.

The third line is a valid code comment (<code>-- </code> denotes a comment), which will be ignored by the SQL server.

For this to work, it helps to know the structure of the database. But it's quite a good guess that a school's student management database might have a table named <code>Students</code>.

Of course, in real life, most exploits of this kind would be performed not by engineering a person's name such that it would eventually be entered into a school database query, but rather by accessing some kind of input system (such as a website's login screen or search interface) and guessing various combinations by trial and error until something works, perhaps by first trying to inject the <code>SHOW TABLES;</code> command to see how the database is structured.

To correctly and harmlessly include the odd name in the Students table in the school database the correct SQL is:
<br><code>INSERT INTO Students (firstname) VALUES ('Robert\');DROP TABLE Students;-- ');</code>

Note that the single quote after Robert is now sanitized by a backslash, which changes it from malicious code to harmless data, and the full first 'name' of the student <code>Robert';DROP TABLE Students;--</code> is now stored correctly.

It should be noted that, while data sanitization can mitigate the risks of SQL injection, the proper prevention technique is to use {{w|Prepared statement}}s.

Noting the difference between the "actual" name using the word TABLE and the child's nickname being Bobby Tables, one could argue there's an implied reference to one of the most argued topics of database naming conventions - should table names be singular or plural.

The title text references that Mrs. Roberts' daughter is named "Help I'm trapped in a driver's license factory". This is a play on how if someone is stuck and forced to work in a manufacturing factory/plant, then they will write on the product "Help I am trapped in a ____ factory" in order to tell people on the outside. Having this name would cause any police officer who pulls her over to show some concern. And getting the license in the first place would likely be difficult. The idea of inserting a help message like this was already used in [[10: Pi Equals]].


==Transcript==
:[Mrs. Roberts receives a call from her son's school on her wireless phone. She is standing with a cup of hot coffee or tea (shown with a small line above the cup) facing a small round three-legged table to the right. The voice of the caller is indicated to come from the phone with a zigzag line.]
:Voice over the phone: Hi, This is your son's school. We're having some computer trouble.

:[In this frame-less panel Mrs. Roberts has put the cup down on the table turned facing out.]
:Mrs. Roberts: Oh, dear – did he break something?
:Voice over the phone: In a way –

:[Mrs. Roberts is now drinking from the cup again looking right. The table is not shown.]
:Voice over the phone: Did you really name your son <code>Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--</code> ?
:Mrs. Roberts: Oh, yes. Little Bobby Tables, we call him.

:[Mrs. Roberts holds the cup down.]
:Voice over the phone: Well, we've lost this year's student records. I hope you're happy.
:Mrs. Roberts: And I hope you've learned to sanitize your database inputs.

==Trivia==

This comic has become rather famous, spawning a site at http://bobby-tables.com about preventing SQL injection and also at the official [https://docs.python.org/2/library/sqlite3.html Python SQLite documentation]. Noted security expert {{w|Bruce Schneier}} (who often quotes xkcd) [https://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2010/10/pen-and-paper_s.html mentioned a similar attack] that happened in the 2010 Swedish general elections.

In [[1253: Exoplanet Names]], someone (presumably Mrs. Roberts) attempts to perform a similar trick, submitting the name <code>e'); DROP TABLE PLANETS;--</code> to the IAU.

It is later revealed in [[342: 1337: Part 2]] that the daughter's middle name is [[Elaine]] (full name: ''Help I'm trapped in a driver's license factory Elaine Roberts''). This is thus the first time Elaine is mentioned. Seems like this comic was a setup for the "[[:Category:1337|1337]]" series where both this exploiting mom's kids are shown for the first time.

This comic is available as a signed print in the [https://store.xkcd.com/products/signed-prints xkcd store].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Mrs. Roberts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Little Bobby Tables]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Elaine Roberts]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]

Talk:1683: Digital Data

2020-02-11T05:46:00Z

Aaron of Mpls:

Ewww, Verizon? **** them [[User:International Space Station|International Space Station]] ([[User talk:International Space Station|talk]]) 04:58, 20 May 2016 (UTC)
::Don't forget the whole "Verizon Math" incident and Randall's much passed around check image. I'd be surprised if it isn't on 9GAG somewhere.... [[User:Psu256|Psu256]] ([[User talk:Psu256|talk]]) 17:12, 23 May 2016 (UTC)
:: https://xkcd.com/verizon/ [[Special:Contributions/198.41.238.16|198.41.238.16]] 02:30, 15 July 2017 (UTC)

Ironically, the title text on explainxkcd is different from the one on xkcd.com, demonstrating the reinterpretation of text encoded in UTF-8 as if it were encoded in ISO 8859-1. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.85.231|162.158.85.231]] 05:45, 20 May 2016 (UTC)

-Exactly; this nicely proves Randall's point. On my computer, different characters appear in different browsers, but of course in one browser the characters are reproducible.--[[User:Jkrstrt|Jkrstrt]] ([[User talk:Jkrstrt|talk]]) 07:26, 20 May 2016 (UTC)

Here is the decoded title text:
“If you can read this, congratulations–the archive youʼre you're using still knows about the mouseover text”!
[[Special:Contributions/108.162.229.16|108.162.229.16]] 07:51, 20 May 2016 (UTC)

:Grungy details:
:*â€œ -> ''convert to hex'' -> E2-80-9C -> ''UTF8 decode'' -> 0010-000000-011100 -> [http://www.fileformat.info/info/unicode/char/201C/index.htm U-201C "LEFT DOUBLE QUOTATION MARK"]
:*â€” -> ''convert to hex'' -> E2-80-94 -> ''UTF8 decode'' -> 0010-000000-010100 -> [http://www.fileformat.info/info/unicode/char/2014/index.htm U-2014 "EM DASH"]
:*â€™ -> ''convert to hex'' -> E2-80-99 -> ''UTF8 decode'' -> 0010-000000-011001 -> [http://www.fileformat.info/info/unicode/char/2019/index.htm U-2019 "RIGHT SINGLE QUOTATION MARK"]
:*â€! -> ''convert to hex'' -> E2-80-9D -> ''UTF8 decode'' -> 0010-000000-011101 -> [http://www.fileformat.info/info/unicode/char/201d/index.htm U-201D "RIGHT DOUBLE QUOTATION MARK"]
:[[User:Odysseus654|Odysseus654]] ([[User talk:Odysseus654|talk]]) 17:31, 20 May 2016 (UTC)

::The ''convert to hex'' step is really ''encode with Windows-1252''. Also, in the last sequence, the "!" is not part of the encoded quotation mark. The third byte of the quotation mark comes from an unprintable U-009D between the "â€" and the "!". U-009D isn't a valid Windows-1252 character, so either the encoding is actually a superset of Windows-1252 that includes U-009D, or the encoding process just allowed it.
:: [[Special:Contributions/162.158.255.103|162.158.255.103]] 17:26, 21 May 2016 (UTC)

He's written you're twice, but one is with a curly apostrophe, often favoured by americans (and maybe brits?), possible because of their keyboard. The simple apostrophe is “just” html-formatted, whereas the curly one has been molested by a UTF-8 / ISO-8859-1 misreading.
--[[Special:Contributions/108.162.229.16|108.162.229.16]] 07:51, 20 May 2016 (UTC)
: I'm British, and I don't have the curly apostrophe anywhere on my keyboard. [[User:Enchantedsleeper|Enchantedsleeper]] ([[User talk:Enchantedsleeper|talk]]) 11:01, 20 May 2016 (UTC)

: I'm American, and I also don't have the curly apostrophe anywhere on my keyboard, but word processing programs (like MS-Word) are configured by default to automatically replace an ASCII apostrophe in a conjunction with the fancy right-single-quote mark. Also when using quotation marks around text those programs automatically replace the repeated single ASCII quotation marks with the fancy left and right quotation marks (single if using single quotes, double if using double quotes). Most people don't care enough to disable that "feature"... [[Special:Contributions/162.158.252.143|162.158.252.143]] 15:13, 20 May 2016 (UTC)

:: Ok. I've never experienced that from any text processor (incl. MS Word), so maybe it's dependant on the system locale or another mysterious factor. I've just noticed a prevalence in english language texts online, but an absence in other european languages. Not even french, which has as many or more contractions. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.229.16|108.162.229.16]] 08:11 21 May 2016 (UTC)

This is a phenomenon that has always both fascinated me and frustrated me. I find it fascinating how, even today, data degrades as more and more people copy it (remember the old days when people used to copy VHS tapes, and the further you were from the original tape the more copying artefacts your copy had in it?). It also frustrates me, though, when I'm trying to find an original, undegraded image or video and it seems impossible to find. It's also annoying because it's actually pretty easy to copy something without causing any quality loss, yet practically every copied image on the internet has been degraded in some way or another. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.130|141.101.98.130]] 07:08, 20 May 2016 (UTC)

:If you haven't yet, you should check out this guy who ripped and reuploaded his own Youtube video 1000 times: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEIzS_27Vt0 [[Special:Contributions/162.158.222.150|162.158.222.150]] 08:28, 20 May 2016 (UTC)

::...and after 100 iterations https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6GMvihskBQ ...and the summary of all of them https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icruGcSsPp0 [[User:Odysseus654|Odysseus654]] ([[User talk:Odysseus654|talk]]) 16:50, 20 May 2016 (UTC)

:It can be frustrating to try to convince new people drawing schematics on the computer to not use 4-way junctions because they don't expect digital images to degrade over multiple generations of copying. This xkcd demonstrates the way multiple generations can degrade even digital images, potentially making it difficult to differentiate two crossing (but electrically separate) signal lines from a 4-way junction on a schematic. Sorry, I'll get off my soap box now. ;-) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.252.143|162.158.252.143]] 15:13, 20 May 2016 (UTC)

It's also funny because just a few moments ago I was trying to compress some video to send to someone. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.130|141.101.98.130]] 07:12, 20 May 2016 (UTC)

http://fotoforensics.com/analysis.php?id=274fcf46426f2da31b057f1652ae5269cfdbd70a.190103 this page highlights the encoding blocks so that the degration of quality can be seen better. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.91.205|141.101.91.205]] 09:42, 20 May 2016 (UTC)

:Nice example. Their picture is already a bad copy. While it's still a PNG, it's already reduced in size (600x228 instead of 720x282, 131381 byte instead of 190103). Btw. the file used in this wiki is also slightly different from what I see on xkcd. It's just 3 minutes older and 308 bytes larger. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.83.48|162.158.83.48]] 01:28, 23 May 2016 (UTC)

The phenomenon that Randall is making fun of in this comic is actually called a "shitpic" http://www.theawl.com/2014/12/the-triumphant-rise-of-the-shitpic The explanation should probably make reference to that. [[User:Enchantedsleeper|Enchantedsleeper]] ([[User talk:Enchantedsleeper|talk]]) 10:57, 20 May 2016 (UTC)

I think the watermarks on the last frame are from an unregistered screenshot tool, not "9gag" or similar. The references to shit pics are interesting, but aren't you over interpreting the whole thing? {{unsigned ip|162.158.83.174}}
: ...You realise that over-interpreting is what this wiki is ''for'', right? Also, not really, since all I said was that a "shitpic" is what this type of degraded image is called. [[User:Enchantedsleeper|Enchantedsleeper]] ([[User talk:Enchantedsleeper|talk]]) 15:03, 23 May 2016 (UTC)

There's a 9gag thing in the image, clean your glasses and look again. --[[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.46|173.245.54.46]] 12:15, 20 May 2016 (UTC)

Both screenshots from iOS definitely. Safari browser and… anybody knows? Some kind of other web browser? Maybe Chrome or Opera? <Need to finally create account> [[Special:Contributions/162.158.202.152|162.158.202.152]] 15:32, 20 May 2016 (UTC)

Apparently Russians have been getting this a lot, as they (up to the point of the existence of UNICODE) have had to deal a lot with people using bad codepages. Example of their post office dealing with a physical package addressed with a bad codepage: http://worldlanguages.wikia.com/wiki/Mojibake?file=Letter_to_Russia_with_krokozyabry.jpg [[User:Odysseus654|Odysseus654]] ([[User talk:Odysseus654|talk]]) 16:54, 20 May 2016 (UTC)

Here is the progression as I see it:
*Frame 1 - The original PNG
*Frame 2 - The PNG converted to a JPEG
*Frame 3 - The JPEG as viewed on a mobile browser (Safari on iOS in this case)
*Frame 4 - A screen-shot of the mobile browser uploaded to Tumblr and then stolen by 9GAG
[[Special:Contributions/173.245.52.62|173.245.52.62]] 19:37, 20 May 2016 (UTC)

Note that while the term "digital" is new, first digital format of information appeared long ago, with the development of standard alphabet. Images hand-drawn on paper can't be copied without loss, but if you write letters in fixed alphabet, it can be copied without errors forever (not counting errors caused by some letters getting out of use through history). Egyptian literature is probably lost due to us not knowing the (very big) full set of hieroglyphs, but [https://el.wikisource.org/wiki/%CE%9F%CE%B4%CF%8D%CF%83%CF%83%CE%B5%CE%B9%CE%B1/%CE%B1 Odyssey] could (and hopefully even was) be stored exactly how it was written. Wouldn't help read it, of course, language changed since then and it would need to be translated which, again, can lose some meaning ... -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 16:16, 21 May 2016 (UTC)

There's a much much older example. RNA and subsequently DNA are digital representations of the protein structures (also digital representations of 3-D molecular shapes). Degradation through copying is 1 source of variation which evolution selects over.[[User:MerlinMM|MerlinMM]] ([[User talk:MerlinMM|talk]]) 11:28, 23 May 2016 (UTC)
:Right. Humans were using digital data for their own reproduction long before they knew what "digital", "data" or even just "letter" is. DNA even uses primitive error correction techniques. Although when humans finally found out about RNA being digital, they already had other digital formats. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 00:21, 15 July 2017 (UTC)
::There's nothing primitive at all about DNA error correction techniques, just some people's understanding of them. [[Special:Contributions/198.41.238.16|198.41.238.16]] 02:35, 15 July 2017 (UTC)

Is it possible that the watermark in the bottom left of the last panel is supposed to read "drama.tumblr.com"?
--[[Special:Contributions/173.245.52.67|173.245.52.67]] 20:42, 23 May 2016 (UTC)

The alt text has been fixed, the second "You're" has been removed. {{unsigned ip|141.101.104.80}}

The phenomenon is related to {{w|Generation loss}} --[[User:JakubNarebski|JakubNarebski]] ([[User talk:JakubNarebski|talk]]) 14:50, 27 May 2016 (UTC)

Btw, does anybody know a digital archive that actually "knows about the title-text"? {{unsigned ip|162.158.17.66}}

;Source image updating?

If you look at the comic on the website, the first couple of frames are much more "decayed" than they are on the wiki copy. --[[Special:Contributions/198.41.238.16|198.41.238.16]] 01:47, 19 December 2016 (UTC)
: The source image has definitely been changed. [http:////imgs.xkcd.com/comics/digital_data.png Here's] the original image, and [http:////imgs.xkcd.com/comics/digital_data_2x.png here's] the new one. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.59.190|162.158.59.190]] 01:13, 23 December 2016 (UTC)
:: Ok, this is weird - earlier today (2018-12-21), I was seeing the low-res version. But this evening, I'm seeing the high-res version. In between, I had linked it from reddit, maybe it switches based on popularity? [[Special:Contributions/172.68.132.95|172.68.132.95]] 07:23, 22 December 2018 (UTC)
:::I don't think so? I just saw the original comic after it was linked from reddit, still the degraded version. It was actually how I found about the degrading image. [[User:Herobrine|Herobrine]] ([[User talk:Herobrine|talk]]) 11:58, 13 March 2019 (UTC)
::::Getting worser [[Special:Contributions/172.69.69.196|172.69.69.196]] 04:49, 13 April 2019 (UTC)

Ironically, the special characters across xkcd.com appear to be messed up in a the same way the title text of this comic references--including the title text of this comic itself. It now reads, "Ã¢â‚¬Å“If you can read this, congratulationsÃ¢â‚¬â€the archive youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re using still knows about the mouseover textÃ¢â‚¬Â!"
[[Special:Contributions/162.158.63.124|162.158.63.124]] 01:25, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
: That happens if the page defaults to "Western" encoding. Switch it to UTF-8 and it changes back to the original 'failure'. --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 05:45, 11 February 2020 (UTC)

It is 2019. Disney+ has launched. It cropped 19 seasons of Simpsons from 4:3 to 16:9, by just getting rid of the top and bottom of the images. It is the official streaming version of the series. --[[User:Lupo|Lupo]] ([[User talk:Lupo|talk]]) 10:36, 18 November 2019 (UTC)

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[url=https://vex3.online]vex 3[/url]

2221: Emulation

2019-11-21T00:30:00Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Explanation */ proper caps on DOSBox

{{comic
| number = 2221
| date = October 28, 2019
| title = Emulation
| image = emulation.png
| titletext = I laugh at the software as if I'm 100% confident that it's 2019.
}}

==Explanation==
Here [[Cueball]] is speaking with a fictitious example of artificially intelligent software similar to the type popularized in the 1980's when {{w|personal computers}} had just become mainstream. Although modern computing platforms might still be backwards-compatible with {{w|8-bit era}} software, it is more likely that the old applications will need to be run within an {{w|emulator}} that can simulate the necessary hardware components required by the application.

In this case the "8-bit AI" is having a conversation with Cueball as it carries out tasks common to the era, specifically asking the user to insert a {{w|floppy disk}} into drive "A:" (A: traditionally being the first floppy drive on IBM-compatible PCs). At the time internal storage like a {{w|hard disk}} was an expensive luxury item and most applications were stored on removable media. An application that could not fit on a single floppy disk would be programmed to prompt the user to insert successive floppies which held the required data. However, the speed at which data could be loaded from such devices was {{w|List_of_interface_bit_rates#Storage|very slow}}, requiring anywhere from ten seconds to ten minutes to load a level or an advanced dialog box. Sometimes the software would even incorporate feedback mechanisms like loading screens to let the user know the program was proceeding as intended and had not crashed.

When software operating under an emulator such as {{w|DOSBox}} makes a request to access disc storage, the emulator will often map the command to a file or file system on the enveloping computing environment which can now contain hundreds or thousands of gigabytes of storage. Depending on the configuration, this may require a user action to complete the virtual operation (Cueball's click). The speed of modern hardware allows the data to be transferred at speeds several orders of magnitude higher than what was possible in the past. The 8-bit AI notices this and makes a comment about the transfer speed.

Here we begin to see the consequences of emulation upon the anthropomorphized software application. Because the emulator is constructing the application's entire reality, the 8-bit AI has no reason to believe it is anywhere other than a 1980's computing platform for which is was designed. While the application does notice the abnormally fast load time, Cueball decides to not [https://knowyourphrase.com/burst-your-bubble burst his anthropomorphized program's bubble] and responds that the file loaded quickly because of a new floppy disk from {{w|Memorex}}, which was a well-known manufacturer of premium magnetic recording media in the 1980s. Memorex was also known for a famous [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhfugTnXJV4 series] of [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZyFcJcZiaU commercials] with the tagline, "Is it live? Or is it Memorex?"—tying into the comic's theme of a lack of unawareness that something is being digitally duplicated.

To compound the problem, computers of the era often lacked a {{w|real-time clock}} or would have an inability to {{w|Year 2000 problem|process dates beyond 1999}}, and therefore the software application in this comic still believes that it is running at the time of its creation - the 1980's. To this end the program casually asks how President Reagan is doing, as {{w|Ronald Reagan}} was the President of the United States from 1981-1989 when early PCs were on the rise. He died in 2004, 15 years before the publication of the comic. This is why Cueball seems slightly uncomfortable with [[222: Small Talk|noncommittally]] telling the software Reagan is "fine."

In the title text, Cueball references the {{w|Simulation hypothesis|living in a simulation}} trope, mentioning that it is not fully clear that he is actually living in 2019. This has been a theme in science fiction such {{w|The Matrix}}, which has been [[:Category:The Matrix|referenced several times]] in xkcd. That we are living in a simulation was also the subject of the comic [[505: A Bunch of Rocks]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sits in an office chair at a desk typing on a laptop computer. The computers response to his typing is shown emanating from a starburst on the screen with zigzag lines between different sentences.]
:Laptop: Loading... please insert disk into drive A:
:Cueball: *click* There you go.
:Laptop: Thank you. Wow, this disk is incredibly fast!
:Cueball: Yeah, uh, it's the new model from Memorex.
:Laptop: Amazing. And how is President Reagan?
:Cueball: He's... He's fine.

:[Caption under the panel]
:I feel weird using old software that doesn't know it's being emulated.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Computers]]

Talk:2231: The Time Before and After Land

2019-11-20T23:50:55Z

Aaron of Mpls:

I believe that the "bees" are paired with words like "for" in the chart to draw similarities to the word "before"? [[Special:Contributions/172.68.54.34|172.68.54.34]] 21:49, 20 November 2019 (UTC)

Agreed. Has been changed. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.132.155|172.68.132.155]] 21:59, 20 November 2019 (UTC)

While the chart begins with Big Bang on the left side, I bee-lieve it's a history of our solar system, not the universe. When Rocky Planets formed is not a single specific point in time across the entire universe, and we have no idea if bees or thyme even exist beyond our planet. [[User:Ianrbibtitlht|Ianrbibtitlht]] ([[User talk:Ianrbibtitlht|talk]]) 23:12, 20 November 2019 (UTC)
: Not quite. The Earth formed with the rest of the solar system. And since "Rocky planets form" is shown earlier, it's presumably refers to rocky planets in the ''universe'' -- in ''other'', older star systems, rather than our own. (The universe had already been around for a good 10,000,000,000 years before the Earth formed.) --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]]) 23:50, 20 November 2019 (UTC)

Talk:2231: The Time Before and After Land

2019-11-20T23:50:11Z

Aaron of Mpls:

Talk:2231: The Time Before and After Land

2019-11-20T23:49:03Z

Aaron of Mpls:

I believe that the "bees" are paired with words like "for" in the chart to draw similarities to the word "before"? [[Special:Contributions/172.68.54.34|172.68.54.34]] 21:49, 20 November 2019 (UTC)

Agreed. Has been changed. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.132.155|172.68.132.155]] 21:59, 20 November 2019 (UTC)

While the chart begins with Big Bang on the left side, I bee-lieve it's a history of our solar system, not the universe. When Rocky Planets formed is not a single specific point in time across the entire universe, and we have no idea if bees or thyme even exist beyond our planet. [[User:Ianrbibtitlht|Ianrbibtitlht]] ([[User talk:Ianrbibtitlht|talk]]) 23:12, 20 November 2019 (UTC)
: Not quite. The Earth formed with the rest of the solar system. And since "Rocky planets form" is shown earlier, it's presumably refers to rocky planets in the ''universe'' -- in ''other'', older star systems, rather than our own. --[[User:Aaron of Mpls|Aaron of Mpls]] ([[User talk:Aaron of Mpls|talk]])

734: Outbreak

2019-09-25T20:45:23Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Transcript */ deleted a bit for brevity/clarity

{{comic
| number = 734
| date = April 30, 2010
| title = Outbreak
| image = outbreak.png
| titletext = Let's get dinner after we promptly destroy all the X-7 we've manufactured.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Index case|Patient Zero}} is the usual terminology for the first patient tested or infected with an {{w|outbreak}}-style infection, (in the comic's case, a zombie outbreak,) like in the movie ''{{w|Outbreak (film)|Outbreak}}'', which is not the main inspiration for this comic, except maybe the title.

This comic, however, serves to make fun of the stereotypical {{w|List of zombie films|zombie movie}} in which an unlikely series of events, coupled with extreme oversight on part of the staff, leave an opening for an outbreak to begin. Often, the infected find themselves lacking any restraint or containment, and freely move about in search of humans to infect.

In the comic Ryan (drawn as [[Cueball]]) tells Laura (drawn as [[Megan]]) that the patient has been exposed to ''toxin X-7''. The patient (a {{w|zombie}} version of a Cueball-like guy) can be seen through a window inside a laboratory, with Ryan trying to block the door. The patient has turned into a ''bloodthirsty monster'' that in true zombie-style calls out for brains, while walking with both arms stretched out and bits of him falling off, three typical cliches for zombie movies.

Laura then asks if the zombie has been kept in {{w|Isolation (health care)|isolation}}, a standard medical procedure that prevents the patient from coming into contact with anyone or anything not specifically approved, and thus prevents the spread of the disease. Her question serves to point out the drastic difference in real-life procedure and zombie movies.

When told that so far the zombie has been isolated her next action is to run to her car to obtain the weapon she has there to destroy the zombie, again showing contrast against the often irrational and illogical actions of medical staff in movies, whose behaviors usually lead to their deaths and to the spread of the disease, which causes the real outbreak. Because one person (or a few people) dying from a disease is not called an outbreak.

When Laura returns she kills patient zero, before he infects any other, thus the outbreak ends in the third panel five minutes after it started in the first panel.

The comic ends with a little "mock the audience" joke as romantic comedies stereotypically have a very different audience from zombie horror movies. The two characters had never been introduced before, their names are first given in the last panel. Having such an intense and life-threatening experience often causes people to fall in love. But for a zombie/disaster movie this is supposed to happen just before the end titles, so you have all the fun first, and can go home on the happy ending. Since the "fun" part only lasted for five minutes the rest of the movie will now describe Ryan and Laura's romantic relationship after this comic.

As a result, the director(s) of this movie are deliberately showing the wrong kind of film to the audience attracted by the title or teaser. This would be disastrous for a movie in real life given that audiences do not take kindly to such antics and are likely to pour hate about it online, dissuading others from going, and alienating both those audiences who enjoy romantic comedies and those who enjoy zombie films, leaving just a niche occupied by the people who enjoy both.

The title-text is included as another example of the logical real-life actions versus the illogical movie ones, as any dangerous substance in a real lab would be disposed of, preventing further harm. In zombie movies, another major trope is the medical staff thinking that they are safe after they eliminate the first zombie, only to find the remaining chemicals have been used to make more. But before Ryan and Laura have had dinner, they promptly go back and destroys both the X-7 toxin and the last hope of the zombie fans seeing the movie of any further action...

Zombies are a [[:Category:Zombies|recurring theme]] in xkcd. Though zombies are often depicted as being raised from the death they are as mentioned often created (in films) through disease or toxins as is the case here. Apart from the three typical features of zombies mentioned, the zombie in this comic is also called zombie in the [http://xkcd.com/734/info.0.json official transcript] on xkcd.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan stand outside a door into a laboratory (with the word "LAB" in large letters on the door). Cueball is leaning back against the door. A Cueball-like zombie which is clearly falling apart, walking with its hands stretched out in front of it, is visible through a window into the laboratory. At the top of the panel there is a frame around a yellow area with narration, which goes over the top of this panel's frame.]
:Narrator: The outbreak started with Patient Zero...
:Cueball: He was exposed to toxin X-7— now he's a bloodthirsty monster!
:Megan: Has he been in isolation?
:Zombie: Braaains!

:[Cueball turns towards the door, pushing on it and partly blocking the door's label ("LA"). A noise indicates the zombie banging on the door from inside. Megan runs right her head and hand already partly outside the frame.]
:Cueball: Yes, but I can't hold this door for long!
:Megan: Hang on, I've got a gun in my truck.
:Zombie (hitting the door): ''Wham''

:[In this frame-less panel Cueball opens the door a crack, leaning back with a hand in front of his face, as Megan shoots with her shotgun through the open door at the zombie inside. The word "LAB" on the door is no longer blocked.]
:Shotgun: <big>''BLAM''</big>

:[Cueball and Megan stand together away from the laboratory door. Megan still holds shotgun down. At the top and bottom of the panel there is two more frames around a yellow areas with narration, which goes over the top and bottom of this panel's frame. As Cueball and Megan talk, their names are revealed.]
:Narrator: And ended with Patient Zero five minutes later.
:Cueball: So, I never got your name. I'm Ryan.
:Megan: Laura.
:Narrator: The remaining 90 minutes of the movie will be a romantic comedy.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Zombies]]
[[Category:Fiction]]

2206: Mavis Beacon

2019-09-24T22:05:50Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Trivia */ added section w/ note on orig comic hotlink

{{comic
| number = 2206
| date = September 23, 2019
| title = Mavis Beacon
| image = mavis_beacon.png
| titletext = There are actually lowercase-like 'oldstyle' forms of normal numbers with more pronounced ascenders and descenders, which is why some numbers like '5' in books sometimes dangle below the line. But the true capital numbers remain the domain of number maven Mavis Beacon.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an END BOSS. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

''{{w|Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing}}'' is a computer game first released in 1987, with the goal of teaching touch-typing and improving typing speed on a computer keyboard. Unlike many video games, ''Mavis Beacon'' contains no combat and therefore does not feature any "{{w|Boss_(video_gaming)#Final_boss|end boss}}" (a very powerful enemy encountered as the final challenge of the game). In many video games, defeating major opponents "unlocks" special features, such as improved weapons. Also, playing ''Mavis Beacon'', although it may improve typing skill, has no effect on how typing works on one's computer.

However, [[Cueball]] asserts that after 30 years of playing ''Mavis Beacon'', he encountered and defeated such a boss. Playing the same game for 30 years is rare, and may not be an indicator of good mental health. Regardless, Cueball claims that defeating this "end boss" unlocked an ability to type esoteric "capital numbers," which Randall depicts as more extravagant versions of the familiar numerals. (Although modern Latin letters have different capital and lower-case forms, Arabic numerals--the conventional numerals 0-9 used in the Western world--do not.)

Typing such numerals is said to require pressing the Alt, tilde (~), Scroll Lock, and numeral keys at the same time. Some keyboard layouts do not have a scroll lock key or a separate tilde key (such that pressing ~ actually requires pressing a shift key along with the ~ key), and in any event pressing four or five keys at once would be quite difficult. Needless to say, pressing all those keys simultaneously does not, in fact, do anything like what the comics describes in any known computer system, though some smaller subset of those keys together (i.e. "Alt ~" or "Alt numeral-key") might activate other operating system or user-defined shortcuts.

Keyboards vary in how many simultaneous key presses they can process ({{w|Rollover (key)|rollover}}). Computer keyboards for English may be limited to as few as 3 simultaneous keys, whereas other languages or higher quality keyboards may be able to handle an unlimited number of keys at once. (A musical keyboard might need to handle 10 or more simultaneous keys, likewise gaming or braille keyboards may need to handle many simultaneous keys.)

In the title text, Randall notes that [https://www.bamagazine.com/Text-type-typeface-s/105.htm certain typefaces] feature {{w|text figures}}, numerals that have ascenders and descenders, much as lower-case letters do, rather than all standing at the full X-height like capital letters. He then goes on to joke that, conversely, there are true "capital numerals," but they are a guarded secret of Mavis Beacon. {{w|Mavis Beacon (character)|Mavis Beacon}} was the character created as the typing instructor for the ''Mavis Beacon'' game, and is fictional, not a real person. Additionally, as a typing instructor, this person (even if she actually existed) would not be able to change typographical standards. {{Citation needed}}

==Trivia==
The comic itself hotlinks to [https://www.fonts.com/content/learning/fontology/level-3/numbers/oldstyle-figures this article] on fonts.com about oldstyle/text figures.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball is sitting in an office chair at his desk in front of his computer.]
:Computer: Congratulations.
:Computer: Use this power wisely.
:Computer: Key Code (Secret!!): <span style="border: 1px solid black"><kbd>Alt</kbd></span> + <span style="border: 1px solid black"><kbd>Tilde</kbd></span> + <span style="border: 1px solid black"><kbd>Scroll Lock</kbd></span> + Number
:[stylized versions of the Arabic numerals 0-9]

:[Caption below the panel:]
:After 30 years, I finally beat the end boss of ''Mavis Beacon'' and unlocked the ability to type capital numbers.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Computers]]

2206: Mavis Beacon

2019-09-24T21:54:40Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Explanation */ fixed 'rollover' link; w template on 'text figures' link

{{comic
| number = 2206
| date = September 23, 2019
| title = Mavis Beacon
| image = mavis_beacon.png
| titletext = There are actually lowercase-like 'oldstyle' forms of normal numbers with more pronounced ascenders and descenders, which is why some numbers like '5' in books sometimes dangle below the line. But the true capital numbers remain the domain of number maven Mavis Beacon.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an END BOSS. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

''{{w|Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing}}'' is a computer game first released in 1987, with the goal of teaching touch-typing and improving typing speed on a computer keyboard. Unlike many video games, ''Mavis Beacon'' contains no combat and therefore does not feature any "{{w|Boss_(video_gaming)#Final_boss|end boss}}" (a very powerful enemy encountered as the final challenge of the game). In many video games, defeating major opponents "unlocks" special features, such as improved weapons. Also, playing ''Mavis Beacon'', although it may improve typing skill, has no effect on how typing works on one's computer.

However, [[Cueball]] asserts that after 30 years of playing ''Mavis Beacon'', he encountered and defeated such a boss. Playing the same game for 30 years is rare, and may not be an indicator of good mental health. Regardless, Cueball claims that defeating this "end boss" unlocked an ability to type esoteric "capital numbers," which Randall depicts as more extravagant versions of the familiar numerals. (Although modern Latin letters have different capital and lower-case forms, Arabic numerals--the conventional numerals 0-9 used in the Western world--do not.)

Typing such numerals is said to require pressing the Alt, tilde (~), Scroll Lock, and numeral keys at the same time. Some keyboard layouts do not have a scroll lock key or a separate tilde key (such that pressing ~ actually requires pressing a shift key along with the ~ key), and in any event pressing four or five keys at once would be quite difficult. Needless to say, pressing all those keys simultaneously does not, in fact, do anything like what the comics describes in any known computer system, though some smaller subset of those keys together (i.e. "Alt ~" or "Alt numeral-key") might activate other operating system or user-defined shortcuts.

Keyboards vary in how many simultaneous key presses they can process ({{w|Rollover (key)|rollover}}). Computer keyboards for English may be limited to as few as 3 simultaneous keys, whereas other languages or higher quality keyboards may be able to handle an unlimited number of keys at once. (A musical keyboard might need to handle 10 or more simultaneous keys, likewise gaming or braille keyboards may need to handle many simultaneous keys.)

In the title text, Randall notes that [https://www.bamagazine.com/Text-type-typeface-s/105.htm certain typefaces] feature {{w|text figures}}, numerals that have ascenders and descenders, much as lower-case letters do, rather than all standing at the full X-height like capital letters. He then goes on to joke that, conversely, there are true "capital numerals," but they are a guarded secret of Mavis Beacon. {{w|Mavis Beacon (character)|Mavis Beacon}} was the character created as the typing instructor for the ''Mavis Beacon'' game, and is fictional, not a real person. Additionally, as a typing instructor, this person (even if she actually existed) would not be able to change typographical standards. {{Citation needed}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball is sitting in an office chair at his desk in front of his computer.]
:Computer: Congratulations.
:Computer: Use this power wisely.
:Computer: Key Code (Secret!!): <span style="border: 1px solid black"><kbd>Alt</kbd></span> + <span style="border: 1px solid black"><kbd>Tilde</kbd></span> + <span style="border: 1px solid black"><kbd>Scroll Lock</kbd></span> + Number
:[stylized versions of the Arabic numerals 0-9]

:[Caption below the panel:]
:After 30 years, I finally beat the end boss of ''Mavis Beacon'' and unlocked the ability to type capital numbers.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Computers]]

2205: Types of Approximation

2019-09-21T01:36:41Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Explanation */ linked pi (forgot in previous edit)

{{comic
| number = 2205
| date = September 20, 2019
| title = Types of Approximation
| image = types_of_approximation.png
| titletext = It's not my fault I haven't had a chance to measure the curvature of this particular universe.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an APPROXIMATOR. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
In physics and engineering, problem solving typically requires {{w|approximation}}s, as physical properties of the universe can be difficult to model. For example, in introductory physics classes, theories are introduced in frictionless environments.

In the comic, [[Cueball]], the physicist, generally dealing with straight math, is introducing a problem with the assumption that the particular curve is a (perfectly) circular arc with a radius represented by R. [[Megan]], the engineer, also assumes that the curve is similar to a circle, with a deviation factor of 1/1000.

The joke arises when [[Ponytail]], the cosmologist, uses the ridiculous approximation of {{w|pi}} (π) equal to 1. In actuality, pi is an irrational number, usually truncated to 3.14. Choosing the value of pi as 1, or 10, as later suggested, completely defeats the purpose of pi for describing a circle. This is a parody of the tendency of {{w|cosmology}} to use much rougher approximations in their work. In general, astronomers deal with masses and distances that are so vast that approximations that would be ridiculous elsewhere still yield reasonable answers in astronomy. The approximation of pi to 1 is an exaggeration of this tendency, compounded by the later approximation of both pi and 1 to 10. It may also refer to the habit astronomers have of changing the units of measure such that important constants (such as the speed of light or the gravitational constant) are equal to 1, which highly simplifies the formulas without compromising the math. In this case, the number pi is a dimensionless factor, not a directly measured quantity, which means the math will not work.

Pi is defined as the ratio of the circumference of a circle divided by its diameter. This number is an irrational starting with 3.14 when the geometry is flat. But in curved spaces, the ratios are different. Almost every number can be pi depending on the curvature of the place the circle is residing. The cosmologist doesn't know the curvature of the universe, and so is approximating what pi is.

Ponytail offering to use 10 instead of 1 alludes to Randall's preferred style of solving [//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fermi_problem Fermi problems], as shown in [https://what-if.xkcd.com/84/ Paint the Earth]. He rounds numbers to the nearest order of magnitude (1, 10, 100, etc.) using a base 10 logarithmic scale. On this scale, "halfway" between 1 and 10 would be √<span style="text-decoration:overline;">10</span> ≈ 3.16. Thus, numbers between about 0.316 and 3.16 are rounded to 1, between 3.16 and 31.6 are rounded to 10, and so on. At about 3.14, pi falls close to this cutoff point, and so by using this form of estimation it doesn't really matter to Ponytail whether pi is approximated to 1 or 10.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Three nearly identical panels showing the lower-left portion of a wheel and hub diagram with symbols and an equation, each with a different character holding a pointer up to the diagram and a label above the panel with the character's profession:]

:[Physicist Approximations]

:Cueball: We'll assume the curve of this rail is a circular arc with radius ''R''.

:[Engineer Approximations]

:Megan: Let's assume this curve deviates from a circle by no more than 1 part in 1,000.

:[Cosmologist Approximations]

:Ponytail: Assume pi is one.
:Off-panel voice: Pretty sure it's bigger than that.
:Ponytail: OK, we can make it ten. Whatever.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]

2205: Types of Approximation

2019-09-21T01:32:23Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Explanation */ explained the cutoff point a little more; minor edits

{{comic
| number = 2205
| date = September 20, 2019
| title = Types of Approximation
| image = types_of_approximation.png
| titletext = It's not my fault I haven't had a chance to measure the curvature of this particular universe.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an APPROXIMATOR. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
In physics and engineering, problem solving typically requires {{w|approximation}}s, as physical properties of the universe can be difficult to model. For example, in introductory physics classes, theories are introduced in frictionless environments.

In the comic, [[Cueball]], the physicist, generally dealing with straight math, is introducing a problem with the assumption that the particular curve is a (perfectly) circular arc with a radius represented by R. [[Megan]], the engineer, also assumes that the curve is similar to a circle, with a deviation factor of 1/1000.

The joke arises when [[Ponytail]], the cosmologist, uses the ridiculous approximation of pi (π) equal to 1. In actuality, pi is an irrational number, usually truncated to 3.14. Choosing the value of pi as 1, or 10, as later suggested, completely defeats the purpose of pi for describing a circle. This is a parody of the tendency of {{w|cosmology}} to use much rougher approximations in their work. In general, astronomers deal with masses and distances that are so vast that approximations that would be ridiculous elsewhere still yield reasonable answers in astronomy. The approximation of pi to 1 is an exaggeration of this tendency, compounded by the later approximation of both pi and 1 to 10. It may also refer to the habit astronomers have of changing the units of measure such that important constants (such as the speed of light or the gravitational constant) are equal to 1, which highly simplifies the formulas without compromising the math. In this case, the number pi is a dimensionless factor, not a directly measured quantity, which means the math will not work.

Pi is defined as the ratio of the circumference of a circle divided by its diameter. This number is an irrational starting with 3.14 when the geometry is flat. But in curved spaces, the ratios are different. Almost every number can be pi depending on the curvature of the place the circle is residing. The cosmologist doesn't know the curvature of the universe, and so is approximating what pi is.

Ponytail offering to use 10 instead of 1 alludes to Randall's preferred style of solving [//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fermi_problem Fermi problems], as shown in [https://what-if.xkcd.com/84/ Paint the Earth]. He rounds numbers to the nearest order of magnitude (1, 10, 100, etc.) using a base 10 logarithmic scale. On this scale, "halfway" between 1 and 10 would be √<span style="text-decoration:overline;">10</span> ≈ 3.16. Thus, numbers between about 0.316 and 3.16 are rounded to 1, between 3.16 and 31.6 are rounded to 10, and so on. At about 3.14, pi falls close to this cutoff point, and so by using this form of estimation it doesn't really matter to Ponytail whether pi is approximated to 1 or 10.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Three nearly identical panels showing the lower-left portion of a wheel and hub diagram with symbols and an equation, each with a different character holding a pointer up to the diagram and a label above the panel with the character's profession:]

:[Physicist Approximations]

:Cueball: We'll assume the curve of this rail is a circular arc with radius ''R''.

:[Engineer Approximations]

:Megan: Let's assume this curve deviates from a circle by no more than 1 part in 1,000.

:[Cosmologist Approximations]

:Ponytail: Assume pi is one.
:Off-panel voice: Pretty sure it's bigger than that.
:Ponytail: OK, we can make it ten. Whatever.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]

734: Outbreak

2019-09-16T22:45:26Z

Aaron of Mpls: /* Transcript */ slight rewriting, minor grammar correction

{{comic
| number = 734
| date = April 30, 2010
| title = Outbreak
| image = outbreak.png
| titletext = Let's get dinner after we promptly destroy all the X-7 we've manufactured.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Index case|Patient Zero}} is the usual terminology for the first patient tested or infected with an {{w|outbreak}}-style infection, (in the comic's case, a zombie outbreak,) like in the movie ''{{w|Outbreak (film)|Outbreak}}'', which is not the main inspiration for this comic, except maybe the title.

This comic, however, serves to make fun of the stereotypical {{w|List of zombie films|zombie movie}} in which an unlikely series of events, coupled with extreme oversight on part of the staff, leave an opening for an outbreak to begin. Often, the infected find themselves lacking any restraint or containment, and freely move about in search of humans to infect.

In the comic Ryan (drawn as [[Cueball]]) tells Laura (drawn as [[Megan]]) that the patient has been exposed to ''toxin X-7''. The patient (a {{w|zombie}} version of a Cueball-like guy) can be seen through a window inside a laboratory, with Ryan trying to block the door. The patient has turned into a ''bloodthirsty monster'' that in true zombie-style calls out for brains, while walking with both arms stretched out and bits of him falling off, three typical cliches for zombie movies.

Laura then asks if the zombie has been kept in {{w|Isolation (health care)|isolation}}, a standard medical procedure that prevents the patient from coming into contact with anyone or anything not specifically approved, and thus prevents the spread of the disease. Her question serves to point out the drastic difference in real-life procedure and zombie movies.

When told that so far the zombie has been isolated her next action is to run to her car to obtain the weapon she has there to destroy the zombie, again showing contrast against the often irrational and illogical actions of medical staff in movies, whose behaviors usually lead to their deaths and to the spread of the disease, which causes the real outbreak. Because one person (or a few people) dying from a disease is not called an outbreak.

When Laura returns she kills patient zero, before he infects any other, thus the outbreak ends in the third panel five minutes after it started in the first panel.

The comic ends with a little "mock the audience" joke as romantic comedies stereotypically have a very different audience from zombie horror movies. The two characters had never been introduced before, their names are first given in the last panel. Having such an intense and life-threatening experience often causes people to fall in love. But for a zombie/disaster movie this is supposed to happen just before the end titles, so you have all the fun first, and can go home on the happy ending. Since the "fun" part only lasted for five minutes the rest of the movie will now describe Ryan and Laura's romantic relationship after this comic.

As a result, the director(s) of this movie are deliberately showing the wrong kind of film to the audience attracted by the title or teaser. This would be disastrous for a movie in real life given that audiences do not take kindly to such antics and are likely to pour hate about it online, dissuading others from going, and alienating both those audiences who enjoy romantic comedies and those who enjoy zombie films, leaving just a niche occupied by the people who enjoy both.

The title-text is included as another example of the logical real-life actions versus the illogical movie ones, as any dangerous substance in a real lab would be disposed of, preventing further harm. In zombie movies, another major trope is the medical staff thinking that they are safe after they eliminate the first zombie, only to find the remaining chemicals have been used to make more. But before Ryan and Laura have had dinner, they promptly go back and destroys both the X-7 toxin and the last hope of the zombie fans seeing the movie of any further action...

Zombies are a [[:Category:Zombies|recurring theme]] in xkcd. Though zombies are often depicted as being raised from the death they are as mentioned often created (in films) through disease or toxins as is the case here. Apart from the three typical features of zombies mentioned, the zombie in this comic is also called zombie in the [http://xkcd.com/734/info.0.json official transcript] on xkcd.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan stand outside a door into a laboratory (with the word "LAB" in large letters on the door). Cueball is leaning back against the door. A Cueball-like zombie which is clearly falling apart, walking with its hands stretched out in front of it, is visible through a window into the laboratory. At the top of the panel there is a frame around a yellow area with narration, which goes over the top of this panel's frame.]
:Narrator: The outbreak started with Patient Zero...
:Cueball: He was exposed to toxin X-7— now he's a bloodthirsty monster!
:Megan: Has he been in isolation?
:Zombie: Braaains!

:[Cueball turns towards the door, pushing on it and partly blocking the door's label ("LA"). A noise indicates the zombie banging on the door from inside. Megan runs right her head and hand already partly outside the frame.]
:Cueball: Yes, but I can't hold this door for long!
:Megan: Hang on, I've got a gun in my truck.
:Zombie (hitting the door): ''Wham''

:[In this frame-less panel Cueball opens the door a crack, leaning back with a hand in front of his face, as Megan shoots with her shotgun through the open door at the zombie inside. The word "LAB" on the door is no longer blocked.]
:Shotgun: <big>''Blam''</big>

:[Cueball and Megan, now revealed to be called Ryan and Laura, stand together away from the laboratory door. Megan still holds shotgun down. At the top and bottom of the panel there is two more frames around a yellow areas with narration, which goes over the top and bottom of this panel's frame. As Cueball and Megan talk, their names are revealed to be Ryan and Laura.]
:Narrator: And ended with Patient Zero five minutes later.
:Ryan: So, I never got your name. I'm Ryan.
:Laura: Laura.
:Narrator: The remaining 90 minutes of the movie will be a romantic comedy.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Zombies]]
[[Category:Fiction]]