explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

Talk:2108: Carbonated Beverage Language Map

2019-02-07T16:28:27Z

Alanbbent:

I'm wondering what the joke behind the weird shapes of "softie" and "punch" are about. [[User:Cgrimes85|Cgrimes85]] ([[User talk:Cgrimes85|talk]]) 17:22, 6 February 2019 (UTC)
:The shapes could easily be random. But at first glance the "softie" shape vaguely represents areas where Mormons represent more than 50% of the population. [[User:Syberiyxx|Syberiyxx]] ([[User talk:Syberiyxx|talk]]) 19:07, 6 February 2019 (UTC)
::I fixed the explanation with the correct interpretation of the two shapes. [[User:N0lqu|-boB]] ([[User talk:N0lqu|talk]]) 21:27, 6 February 2019 (UTC)
::My additions had disappeared, but it looks to have been by accident, and Shamino put them back. Thanks! In case it disappears again for whatever reason, on the map Punch is literally punching Softie. [[User:N0lqu|-boB]] ([[User talk:N0lqu|talk]]) 22:10, 6 February 2019 (UTC)

"Bubbler" is definitely a reference to people in Rhode Island calling drinking fountains "bubblers".[[User:Cgrimes85|Cgrimes85]] ([[User talk:Cgrimes85|talk]]) 17:23, 6 February 2019 (UTC)

:::[https://amp.businessinsider.com/images/51af5dc7ecad04c04600000c-750-533.png Bubbler reference, Joshua Katz], and [https://www4.uwm.edu/FLL/linguistics/dialect/staticmaps/q_103.html its data]

:The “bubbler” term is used in some areas of Wisconsin, too; I wonder how that happened. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.59.108|172.68.59.108]] 17:31, 6 February 2019 (UTC)

::Interesting. I didn't know that. In this case though, the map is pointing directly at RI. [[User:Cgrimes85|Cgrimes85]] ([[User talk:Cgrimes85|talk]]) 17:40, 6 February 2019 (UTC)

:::I was devastated to see that 'bubbler' had not been given to eastern WI. I demand a recount!--[[Special:Contributions/162.158.214.10|162.158.214.10]] 18:47, 6 February 2019 (UTC)

:I was surprised to see 'bubbler' avoided Boston. Living in the suburbs of Boston, which are in the 'bubbler' area, we always called them 'water fountains', but we talked about how people in downtown Boston would say 'bubblah' instead, which somebody from the city verified once. Later I moved to the Harvard/Cambridge area (is that Randall's area?) and people seemed to say 'water fountain' to me, although I might not have noticed, or maybe they were all college kid types, dunno. Maybe the point is that in the highlighted area, people weirdly _don't_ refer to water fountains as bubblers, and the reason for this is that it is how soda/pop is referred to. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.62.10|172.69.62.10]] 23:50, 6 February 2019 (UTC)

:Growing up in the New York metropolitan area in the 70's, my family sometimes used the term "bubbler", but only to refer to those drinking fountains where the water is projected straight up. We never used it for the more common kind where the water is projected at an angle. [[User:Shamino|Shamino]] ([[User talk:Shamino|talk]]) 21:37, 6 February 2019 (UTC)

Clearly a parody of this map: http://www.popvssoda.com/countystats/total-county.html
The isolated regions surrounding Atlanta and the Twin Cities are probably a reference to the similar pattern around St. Louis in the real map. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.78.40|172.68.78.40]] 17:17, 6 February 2019 (UTC)

Oh man, this one is gonna have to be a table. Bring in the guy who knows how to make tables. I think it was the user Dgbrt. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.65.168|172.68.65.168]] 18:28, 6 February 2019 (UTC)

I've heard Americans have 50 different words for "soda" [[Special:Contributions/172.68.58.251|172.68.58.251]] 20:26, 6 February 2019 (UTC)

Re: Medicine - People in Detroit and Buffalo often use Ginger Ale, especially Vernor's, medicinally. Whenever I had an upset stomach growing up, it was the preferred beverage. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.75.136|162.158.75.136]] 20:54, 6 February 2019 (UTC)

I'm pretty sure "crypto" is a joke on cryptocurrency craze, not cryptography or any other crypto-thing. [[Special:Contributions/198.41.242.46|198.41.242.46]] 21:21, 6 February 2019 (UTC)

"True water" could be a reference to the [https://sf.eater.com/2018/1/4/16850592/what-is-raw-water-live-water-san-francisco-rainbow-grocery "raw water"] (aka untreated water) thing that went through the SF Bay Area in 2018.[[Special:Contributions/172.69.218.10|172.69.218.10]] 21:51, 6 February 2019 (UTC)

Re: Medicine - Sodas started out as medicines made by pharmacists. ([https://www.medicalbag.com/grey-matter/the-origins-of-soda/article/472378/| first reference I found]) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.146.10|162.158.146.10]] 22:41, 6 February 2019 (UTC)

On "fluid": the term "fluid" can refer to liquids and gasses both, so perhaps it's a deliberate reference to the fact that carbonated beverages contain both liquid and (rapidly decompressing) gas?

I doubt that "True Water" is a reference to True Blood. Randall doesn't exactly seem like a vampire guy to me. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.189.241|172.68.189.241]] 00:50, 7 February 2019 (UTC)

When I saw "Glug" I immediately thought it could be a reference to the Squidbillies although it is an alcoholic drink and that section is in Florida instead of Georgia. [[User:Ansarya|Ansarya]] ([[User talk:Ansarya|talk]]) 01:08, 7 February 2019 (UTC)

The Söde section is just south of Seattle and so is probably a reference to the SoDo section of Seattle (which was also parodied on South Park's 19th season as SodoSopa) Should I add these to the explanation? [[User:Ansarya|Ansarya]] ([[User talk:Ansarya|talk]]) 02:13, 7 February 2019 (UTC)

I'm wondering if the term "Hydro" in Upstate NY bordering Canada is a play on the common Canadian use of "Hydro" to mean electricity [[User:B0xertw1n|B0xertw1n]] ([[User talk:B0xertw1n|talk]]) 03:15, 7 February 2019 (UTC)

I know meltwater is used as a term for water from melted glaciers, icebergs or just ice and snow in general. I have heard Melt used to refer to glacier water in specific twice in Canada. I also know people ride boats up to icebergs just to grab some ice for a drink. Considering the region, I wouldn't be surprised if both Melt and Boat Drink refer to that. [[User:D|D]] ([[User talk:D|talk]]) 05:22, 7 February 2019 (UTC)

I wonder why he used five colors for the map, given the four color theorem I would never be able to resist using four only for maps like this.

There were five ingredients in punch but that is tenuous.

Is this a Republican gerrymander?
* Ichor goes red.
* You-Know-What goes red.
* I can't tell which way Ohio Tea would go, given that Arizona is a swing state, and very little of the populated areas have changed.
* The Wet Drink is clearly more Republican, as the section bordering Mexico is gone.
* Punch is red, even though Colorado is typically blue.
* Atlanta is in the "Tang" region, not the "Fool's Champagne" region. Atlanta is not enough to make Tang blue.
* Skim Shake contains a lot of African-Americans, but it still seems to be red.
* Glug is red. I can't tell about Skim Shake or Quicksilver.
* Fluid excludes Raleigh, which is enough to make it likely/solid Republican, despite North Carolina only leaning Republican.
* Mead is red, even though Minnesota leans Democratic.
* Kid's Coffee excludes Detroit, making it dark red.
* I honestly can't tell which way Medicine goes. It contains Detroit, Cleveland, Columbus, Pittsburg, and Buffalo, but also a lot of rural areas. Cincinnati and eastern Pennsylvania are excluded.
* Hydro goes red.
* Broth goes red, even though Virginia is blue. Look at how Hot Water is "packed" with Democrats.

The only thing I have against this idea is that Capri goes blue, and a Republican gerrymander would probably not include the entirety of Indiana. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.79.245|162.158.79.245]] 14:01, 7 February 2019 (UTC)

To be fair, mercury is hardly harmful at all if swallowed [[Special:Contributions/172.68.222.64|172.68.222.64]] 15:05, 7 February 2019 (UTC)

Heh. Lots of these funny names might remind specific users of specific things, but it's foolish of us to say that those names are surely references to those things. "You-know-what" is a Harry Potter reference? Really? [[User:Alanbbent|Alanbbent]] ([[User talk:Alanbbent|talk]]) 16:28, 7 February 2019 (UTC)

1989: IMHO

2018-05-04T19:45:09Z

Alanbbent: HTML did not dictate the one-space rule

{{comic
| number = 1989
| date = May 4, 2018
| title = IMHO
| image = imho.png
| titletext = "Ugh, TMI." "Yeah, that's some tantalizing meat info."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a TLA CONFLICT GENERATOR - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
The conversation begins with a reference to the controversy between whether IMHO stands for "in my '''honest''' opinion" or "in my '''humble''' opinion". Some older internet users, including Cueball, use the H to mean "humble", which Cueball references as being the norm in the 1990s. However, many younger internet users, including, apparently, Ponytail, use it to mean "honest", which became the norm after another SMS abbreviation, TBH (to be honest) became popular c. 2011. However, the joke veers into absurdity with Ponytail sharing her unusual opinions on other internet controversies, including:

*Believing the G in {{w|GIF}} (Graphics Interchange Format) is silent, so she pronounces it "if", as opposed to the two main camps claiming it should be either a soft G ("jiffy") or a hard G (as in "gift").
*Believing that the S in SMDH (Shaking My Damn Head) stands for "Swallowing".
*Believing that the G in OMG (Oh My God) stands for either "Giantess" or "Genitals".
*Believing a viral picture of {{w|the_dress|a dress}} that appears black and blue to some people and white and gold to others is actually black and white.
*Believing that the database language {{w|SQL}} (Structured Query Language) is pronounced "Squill" as opposed to the two main camps claiming it should be "Sequel" (two syllables) or sounding out the initials S-Q-L ("Ess Cue Ell"; three syllables).
*Using {{w|tab_key|tabs}} after {{w|Full_stop|periods}}, instead of the two main opposing camps of using either one or two spaces. It used to be proper style when typing to use two spaces after the period (or other punctuation) at the end of a sentence; however, with the phasing out of typewriters, every major style guide specifies that one space is now "correct."

In the last panel, Cueball exclaims "OMG" (meaning "Oh My God") to which Megan replies "Yeah, mine too", taking the meaning as "Oh My Genitals" from the 5th panel. This leads to the title text "TMI" (Too Much Information).

In the title text, another incorrect belief Ponytail has is believing TMI to be "Tantalizing Meat Info," as opposed to Too Much Information.

The comic also obliquely references the mistaken opinion that website polling is an accurate measure of anything; selection bias (among many other problems) renders them useless for measuring the general population.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Cueball, Megan, and Ponytail stand together, talking.]
:Cueball: I thought the "H" in "IMHO" was "Humble." But Buzzfeed ran a poll and "Honest" won.
:Megan: That can't be true. Their readers are messing with us.

:Ponytail: Are you sure? I've always used it to mean "Honest,"
:Megan: ... What?!

:[Close up of Cueball holding a phone. A box with usage of "IMHO" and "TBH" from Google Trends shows "TBH" suddenly rising in 2011, with a second spike in 2014.]
:Cueball: It was definitely "Humble" in the 1990s.
:Cueball: Maybe people who picked it up after the rise of "TBH" in 2011 interpreted it as "Honest" and used it that way.

:[Cueball, Megan, and Ponytail as before.]
:Megan: I can't get over this. What other wrong opinions do you have?
:Megan: The "G" in "G-I-F"?
:Ponytail: Silent.

:[Close up of Ponytail, with Megan talking from offscreen.]
:Megan: The "S" in "SMDH"?
:Ponytail: Swallowing.
:Megan: The "G" in "OMG"?
:Ponytail: "Giantess" or "Genitals".

:[Cueball, Megan, and Ponytail as before.]
:Megan: The Dress?
:Ponytail: Black and White.
:Megan: Is the database language "Sequel" or "Ess Cue Ell"?
:Ponytail: I've always said "Squill".

:Cueball: Okay, the big one: how many spaces after a period?
:Ponytail: None; I use tabs.
:Cueball: OMG.
:Megan: Yeah, mine too.

{{comic discussion}}

1988: Containers

2018-05-04T15:11:28Z

Alanbbent: Changed some grammar and tense disagreements

{{comic
| number = 1988
| date = May 2, 2018
| title = Containers
| image = containers.png
| titletext = All services are microservices if you ignore most of their features.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Seems to be finished... Can somebody double check this, maybe expand it a bit before removing the tag? Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{w|Docker (software)|Docker}} is a computer program that performs operating-system-level virtualization also known as containerization. It is developed by Docker, Inc. [[White Hat]] notices that many people are using Docker for "everything," implying that he does not understand what all the fuss is about. [[Cueball]] then explains the fundamental idea behind Docker with a simple story.

He notes how difficult it can be to combine two programs and have them work together as one. This is something all programmers can relate to. His specific example is to get two separate programs to display side-by-side on a tablet. The main joke is that Cueball's solution is a surprising twist to solving the problem. Instead of writing a lot of complicated code to deal with the problem at hand, he sidesteps the problem by using two separate devices, literally gluing them together. Docker uses the same general idea but the "glue" and the "multiple computers" are done in software, instead of literally gluing two computers together.

Cueball states that he achieved "software enlightenment" when he "solved" the problem by sidestepping it.

White Hat's initial confusion comes from the fact that Cueball did not write any software, yet achieved "software enlightenment." A good programmer doesn't necessarily need to be able to write programs or even understand how they work, provided that he/she has the skills needed to combine existing programs to solve tasks. An alternate interpretation is that someone with little programming experience could create a working program simply by copy/pasting code snippets from a coding forum such as StackOverflow and "gluing" them together without really understanding how they work.

The title text makes a joke about developers writing code for use in a Docker environment. The ideal is to only write "microservices" which are modules that do just one thing and do it well. The joke here is that even when a module does many different things, you can pretend it is a "microservice" by just ignoring all of it's features but one (hopefully the one that it does well).

==Transcript==
:[White Hat is sitting at a laptop. Cueball is standing behind him.]
:White Hat: Man, Docker is being used for everything.
:White Hat: I don't know how I feel about it.
:Cueball: Story time!

:[Cueball is standing by himself.]
:Cueball: Once, long ago, I wanted to use an old tablet as a wall display.

:[A picture of Cueball's imagined tablet with two applications open side by side. The app on the left is "LiveCam".]
:Cueball: I had an app and a calendar webpage that I wanted to show side by side, but the OS didn't have split-screen support.
:Cueball: So I decided to build my own app.

:[White Hat and Cueball as before, but White Hat has turned to face Cueball.]
:Cueball: I downloaded the SDK and the IDE, registered as a developer, and started reading the language's docs.

:[A picture of two smartphones glued together side by side, held on a backing board. The same two applications shown earlier are open on different phones.]
:Cueball: ...Then I realized it would be '''way''' easier to get two smaller phones on eBay and glue them together.
:Cueball: On that day, I achieved software enlightenment.

:[White Hat and Cueball still facing each other, with White Hat's arm resting on the back of the chair.]
:White Hat: But you never learned to write software.
:Cueball: No, I just learned how to glue together stuff that I don't understand.
:White Hat: I...OK, fair.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

1983: Clutter

2018-04-20T19:23:24Z

Alanbbent:

{{comic
| number = 1983
| date = April 20, 2018
| title = Clutter
| image = clutter.png
| titletext = I found a copy of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, but the idea of reading it didn't spark joy, so I gave it away.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|I'd say this is about done, but you could explain the motivations for each cleanup more in depth if you want.}}

As the graph shows, the amount of junk sitting around [[Randall]]'s house is on an ever-increasing trend. Thus, it will continue to pile up and cause problems.

Randall cleans up sometimes, thinking that he is returning to the same baseline amount of stuff each time, but it is not actually effective enough to keep up with the cluttering trend, and hence his worry.

The four places on the graph where the amount of stuff decreases reference common times when people clean up and get rid of junk or excess stuff. This includes:

-The satisfaction many people feel from getting rid of things and making the remaining items look neat.

-Moving, a time when most people will get rid of items they no longer need and use, rather than packing them up and moving them to a new home where they will once again cause clutter.

-Spring cleaning. In many areas with a harsh winter, it is common to clean in the spring when it is warm enough to open windows for dusting, after months of building up smoke or soot from fires to keep the house warm. In other cultures where the year starts in the spring (a time of rebirth) there are traditions of cleaning up before the start of the new year.

Although not mentioned in the the quotes, it is also common in the United States to clean up and donate items (for instance to Goodwill) on December 31st, right before the New Year, to gain the charitable donation benefit on their taxes for that year.

The title text refers to the book ''The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing'' by {{w|Marie Kondo}}. The main concept of the book is that one should gather all belongings and only retain items that "spark joy". Ironically, the thought of reading the book didn't spark joy for Randall so he decided to donate it. Thus, one of the few things that he did get rid of was something that if he had kept and put into practice could have helped him actually reduce his clutter.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[There is a panel containing a line graph. The x- and y-axes are labeled "time" and "amount of stuff in my house" respectively.]
:[The y-value generally increases as x increases. There are a few labeled exceptions where the y-value decreases slightly. From left to right:]
:"I need to clean up."
:"I've really let junk build up. Feels good to clear it out."
:"I hate moving, but at least it's a chance to finally get rid of all this excess stuff."
:"Ah, spring cleaning!"

:[Caption below the panel:]
:I'm starting to worry about my strategy for dealing with clutter.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Line graphs]]

1982: Evangelism

2018-04-18T20:58:38Z

Alanbbent: /* It's not a reference to the survey; both this comic and the survey are references to the real thing. */

{{comic
| number = 1982
| date = April 18, 2018
| title = Evangelism
| image = evangelism.png
| titletext = The wars between the "OTHER PRIMATES OPEN THEM FROM THE SMALL END" faction versus the "BUT THE LITTLE BIT OF BANANA AT THE SMALL END IS GROSS" faction consumed Europe for generations.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a 2 METER FARENHEIT LOVER - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Evangelism is defined as a zealous advocacy for a cause. This comic presents a line plot where causes are listed in order from advocates who are least intense to most intense going left to right.

;''Religious proselytizers''
Religious proselytizers are, of the groups on this list, most known for intense evangelism in popular culture, yet Randall contrasts them in this strip with four other groups which he finds to be even more intense in their evangelism.

;''People who want the US to switch to metric'' and ''People who want the US to switch to metric but keep Fahrenheit''
Unlike most of the world, the US uses [[wikipedia:United States Customary Units|US customary units]] instead of metric units. Some people wish for this to change.

Pro-metric people who wish to keep the {{w|Fahrenheit}} scale rather than change to {{w|Celsius}} are ranked as slightly more evangelic. A common argument for keeping the Fahrenheit scale is due to 0°F equating to "really cold" and 100°F to "really hot" when talking about weather.

;''People who threw away their socks and bought all one kind''
This is also mentioned in the [[1572:_xkcd_Survey|xkcd Survey]] from September 2015 which included this question:

<blockquote>
Have you ever thrown out all your different pairs of socks/underwear, bought a bunch of replacements that were all one kind, and then told all your friends how great it was and how they should do it too?
</blockquote>

;''People who open bananas from the other end''
Some people prefer to open bananas from the bottom (small end) instead of the top (stem end). This is the way primates in the wild have been observed to open bananas. Less force is required to open a banana at the bottom than at the stem, causing less bruising of the fruit & generally making it easier to open. However, if not done carefully, this can result in the fruit getting squished and making a mess on the person's fingers. Opening bananas from the stem end offers no practical advantage, yet appears to be the predominant habit of most banana-eating humans {{Citation needed}}.

The title text is a fictional argument that apparently somehow tore apart Europe. It is about how bananas are supposed to be opened, so it is absurd for this to have actually happened. The supposed argument ''stems''[ [[No Pun Intended|Pun Intended]] ] from a disagreement over the suggested ease of opening a from the bottom, versus the idea that the small bit at the base of a banana is unappetizing. This also appears to be a reference to the wars between the Blefuscudians who opened their eggs at the big end, and the Lilliputians who broke their eggs at the small end, as documented in Jonathan Swift's epic novel Gulliver's Travels.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[A single frame is shown. The header reads:]
:People by intensity of evangelism
:[An arrow points from left to right. The text above:]
:More intense

:[A line is drawn from left to right with five markers on it.]
:[Marker on the left:]
:Religious proselytizers
:[Marker in the middle:]
:People who want the US to switch to metric
:[Marker slightly right of the middle:]
:People who want the US to switch to metric but keep Fahrenheit
:[Marker at the beginning of the last quarter:]
:People who threw away their socks and bought all one kind
:[Marker at the right:]
:People who open bananas from the other end

{{comic discussion}}

1925: Self-Driving Car Milestones

2017-12-06T21:46:26Z

Alanbbent: Unnecessarily political

{{comic
| number = 1925
| date = December 6, 2017
| title = Self-Driving Car Milestones
| image = self_driving_car_milestones.png
| titletext = I'm working on a car capable of evaluating arbitrarily complex boolean expressions on "honk if [...]" bumper stickers and responding accordingly.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT DRIVER - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is a list of milestones for self-driving cars. Some have already been achieved, others are still being worked on, while others are facetious "milestones".

* Automatic emergency brakes: this is another reference to how hard it can be to program human-obvious stuff (like in [[1425: Tasks]]). A self driving car has to be able to distinguish a danger (cliff, person on foot, other cars coming the wrong way/doing weird stuff) from either the side of the road, the background, the other cars or even a light pole safely standing on the side of the road. Then the car also has to decide whether turn around, just slow down (as danger is not imminent) or actually do the strong brake (and optimally decide what would be the most effective, taking into account weather conditions, road type and traffic). There are big potential advantages for self driving cars, in case of success: computers don't panic, would have faster reaction times than humans, and would have {{w|Autonomous_car#Safety|more reliable judgment than humans}}.

* Highway lane-keeping: sometimes, especially on highways where road delimitations might be [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/11/Route_66_2073773569_7b3fae3b91_b.jpg/220px-Route_66_2073773569_7b3fae3b91_b.jpg faint or absent] or when lane markings could have faded away, a self driving car programmed to pilot based on road markings would have issues holding to the good side of the road. This is a bigger problem than in cities as cars move faster on highways, so the danger detection mentioned above might not manage to detect danger in time while breaking or avoiding the obstacle needs to be anticipated much more.

* Self-parking: already implemented in recent normal cars, that feature is important for the car not to stay in the road after use [citation needed], and is sometimes considered as a difficult maneuver by to-be-drivers as it requires a good "feeling" of the car dimensions, as well as of distances and maneuverability of the car. (the latter parameters being easy to compute, with radar and back-camera aide, is made rather easy for computers)

* Full highway autonomy: the ability for a car to drive itself on a highway. As of 2017, there are [http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/infrastructure/a13615577/self-driving-cars-lane-wisconsin/ plans] under consideration to set highway lanes aside for self-driving cars, but this milestone would require such a car to be able to operate on a highway that also has human-driven cars—as well as wildlife, pedestrians, debris, and other such obstacles should they enter the highway.

* First sex in a self-driving car: this is not a milestone for the cars themselves, but just the age-old [citation needed] practice of having sex in cars, performed in a car that happens to be self-driving. Whether or not this would happen while the car is in motion (other than that induced by the passengers) and/or on a public road is not specified, though both are implied. Given the nature of human sexuality, it is quite likely this has already happened{{Citation needed}}, but there has not been a public documentation of this milestone.

* Full trips with no input from driver: the main point of self-driving cars, allowing all humans within to act as passengers. As of 2017, self-driving cars require a human to be able to take over just in case, but any such trip where the human never actually took control would qualify for this milestone.

* Full trips by empty cars: a more severe version of the above, since with no humans present, no human can take control. This could be considered fulfilled by the {{w|DARPA Grand Challenge}}, as the challenges are racing competitions of autonomous cars with no humans on board.

* Self-refueling of empty cars: this would either require a robotic fuel station (thus, able to refuel cars with humans inside as well), or an ordinary full-service fuel station (that is, one where the station's employee performs the refueling of the car) that happens to service a self-driving car with no humans aboard (which could be arranged as a publicity stunt).

* An empty car wandering the highways for months or years until someone notices the credit card fuel charges: the first completely facetious milestone of the list (since "first sex", despite having little to do with self-driving cars, has probably happened). Cars are expensive{{Citation needed}} enough that, were one to drive itself off and wander, some effort would be made to track it down. As this would require the self-refueling milestone, local fuel stations could be alerted to look for the "rogue" car—and in any case, whatever payment method is used to pay for the fuel would be traced.

* Cars that read other cars' bumper stickers before deciding whether to cut them off: another facetious milestone, implying self-driving cars might obtain artificial intelligence and opinions that might override safety and efficiency of transit, so this seems unlikely to actually happen.

* Autonomous engine revving at red lights: mimicing the human practice. This has probably been done for show at a race, but that is a robot following a programmed routine that has nothing directly to do with self-driving.

* Self-loathing cars: this would require cars to become sentient enough to understand, and have negative opinions, about themselves. Depending on one's definition, though, self-diagnostic software might qualify, as they would be running on a car's computer and express a negative opinion about the car (albeit limited to the context of the car needing maintenance).

* Autonomous canyon jumping: although it seems unlikely that a navigation routine would ever decide that jumping a canyon is part of an optimal route, a car could be programmed to jump a canyon as part of a stunt or show, with no human driver (or any other human aboard) at the time of the jump. It is questionable how "autonomous" such a car would be, though. Could also be a reference to the next point, with another popular setting in below mentioned discussions: "should a selfdriving car leave the road and drive into a canyon, which will kill the driver (and passengers?), or stay on the road and kill others?"

* Cars capable of arguing about the trolley problem on {{w|Facebook}}: the {{w|Trolley problem}} is a well-known thought experiment in ethics, in which a person must choose between passively allowing several people to die, or actively causing a single person to die. Such a choice could plausibly be forced on the computer of self-driving car. For example, if the car could avoid a high-speed collision only by running down a pedestrian.

* Evaluating arbitrarily complex boolean expressions on "honk if [...]" bumper stickers and responding accordingly (title text): as with the cut-off milestone, this implies development of artificial intelligence unrelated to the basic functions of a car, though still imitating human drivers' behavior. This a joke about {{w|Boolean satisfiability problem|Boolean satisfiability}}, as evaluating an arbitrarily complex bumper sticker and determining whether to honk is NP-complete.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Upcoming and recently-achieved 
'''Self-driving car milestones'''

* Automatic emergency braking
* Highway lane-keeping
* Self-parking
* Full highway autonomy
* First sex in a self-driving car
* Full trips with no input from driver
* Full trips by empty cars
* An empty car wandering the highways for months or years until someone notices the credit card fuel charges
* Cars that read other cars' bumper stickers before deciding whether to cut them off
* Autonomous engine revving at red lights
* Self-loathing cars
* Autonomous canyon jumping
* Cars capable of arguing about the trolley problem on facebook

{{comic discussion}}

1173: Steroids

2017-11-15T17:07:39Z

Alanbbent: Removed a paragraph for being redundant and inaccurate

{{comic
| number = 1173
| date = February 13, 2013
| title = Steroids
| image = steroids.png
| titletext = A human is a system for converting dust billions of years ago into dust billions of years from now via a roundabout process which involves checking email a lot.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is about '''steroid''' usage to {{w|Performance-enhancing substance|enhance humans performance}}; it is likely inspired by {{w|Lance Armstrong}}'s then-recent confession to {{w|blood doping}} in a televised interview with {{w|Oprah Winfrey}} (although Armstrong's confessions did not itself include {{w|anabolic steroid}} use; "steroids" is a common catch-all phrase often misused to reference other forms of {{w|Doping in sport|doping}}).

This comic is making the point of the opinion that the criterion about which chemicals (steroids) humans may or may not take in to be considered the strongest or fastest is an artificial criterion. This is demonstrated by [[Megan]] explaining the whole concept to an energy sphere representing a non-humanoid intelligence; when framed the way Megan explains it, the explanation sounds rather trivial and silly. A better explanation would be to say that some chemicals make humans faster and stronger but also damage the human body, so these chemicals are banned so the competitors won't destroy themselves. Another point Megan has missed is that the competitions are regulated with rules, and competitors make an agreement to follow by these rules; taking substances banned by the rules is inherently deceitful, such deceit being a horrible violation in the eyes of fans and fellow competitors.

This comic is one of many instances where [[Randall]] attempts to trivialize sports.

The title text changes the perspective again by suggesting that humanity itself is trivial in the grand scheme of things and that really all we are is a "transition" state between old dust and new dust, with a bunch of emailing in between. This is a version of the saying that the Universe is just trying to turn itself into Iron, which is the atom with least energy, and it can thus neither be fused in stars or decay radioactively.

The comic was published on {{w|Ash Wednesday}} (Western liturgical start of Lent). The dust to dust reference calls to mind the charge, "Remember man that thou art dust and unto dust you shall return," which is traditionally spoken by priests as they place ashes on the foreheads of observers on Ash Wednesday, in addition to the idea that all atoms in the universe other than Hydrogen, Helium, and some Lithium, were created after the big-bang via {{w|Stellar nucleosynthesis}}, with further production and dispersal via {{w|Supernova nucleosynthesis}}. Thus the reference by {{w|Joni Mitchell}} in the song {{w|Woodstock (song)}}: "We are stardust..."; and echoed by {{w|Carl Sagan}}: "We are star stuff."

Similar talking floating energy spheres have been used later in [[1450: AI-Box Experiment]], where it was clearly a different sphere and then in the [[:Category:Time traveling Sphere|Time traveling Sphere]] series. There is no indication of it here, but the sphere here could be another time traveler as well, back to try and understand humanity.

===Controversy===
The opinion brought up in this comic is not the only valid one. Another reasonable opinion is that procedures that may negatively affect the health and well being of the athlete should be limited or even forbidden, otherwise in the near future we may arrive in the situation where people that can be top competitors in sports are the ones that are heavily modified by drugs, surgeries, or genetic manipulations, to the degree that they cannot live normally as human anymore, either in quality, quantity, or both. Under this point of view, the current limitations they put in most sports, while somewhat arbitrary, can be less arbitrary than other possible limitations.

==Transcript==
:[Megan is walking while an energy sphere (Sphere) floats behind her and talks to her. The sphere is black but surrounded by six outwardly-curved segments that are shaded gray. The white parts in between makes it look like it irradiates light out along these lines.]
:Sphere: ''Explain to me this "steroid scandal."''

:[Zoom in on Megan's face while she holds a hand to her chin.]
:Megan: Well, uh...
:Megan: We humans are sacks of chemicals which stay alive by finding other chemicals and putting them inside us.

:[Megan has turned around facing towards the Sphere to the left. She holds up one hand palm up.]
:Megan: We hold contests to see which humans are fastest and strongest.
:Megan: But some humans eat chemicals that make them ''too'' fast and strong.

:[Megan still facing the Sphere holds her arms out.]
:Megan: And they '''win contests!'''
:Sphere: ''That does sound bad.''
:Megan: It's ''awful!''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Sport]]

117: Pong

2017-11-15T16:57:40Z

Alanbbent: small grammatical edit

{{comic
| number = 117
| date = June 19, 2006
| title = Pong
| image = pong.png
| titletext = Following this, the pong paddle went on a mission to destroy Atari headquarters and, due to a mixup, found himself inside the game The Matrix Reloaded. Boy, was THAT ever hard to explain to him.
}}

== Explanation ==
This comic largely refers to the 1999 movie ''{{w|The Matrix}}'', which is about escaping a simulated reality. In the movie, a hacker called {{w|Neo (The Matrix)|Neo}} realizes that the world he lives in is fake, and that, like every other human, he is used as a slave battery by machines that, to keep them under control, make them feel like they're "living" in what is actually a computer-generated simulation of the world, called the "Matrix". Upon discovery, Neo rebels against this misuse of mankind and trains himself to interact with the computers that run the world until, being "the One" mentioned by a prophecy, he is able to control and use them to his own advantage. He takes part in a series of missions against those machines that wanted to keep the humans trapped in a simulated environment.

In {{w|Pong}}, one of the earliest video games, one can play virtual table tennis against the computer. A ball (the tiny block) is "hit" by a paddle (the long block) and crosses over the screen, to be "hit" again by the other paddle. Failure to return the ball results in a point won by the opponent. The speed of the ball increases as the rally runs longer.

The two game programmers in the first frame apply Neo's story to the {{w|Artificial intelligence|AI}} bots they create to serve as computer players in their video games: what if one of them learns enough to become sentient and understands the environment the programmers trapped it in? The outcome is shown: the paddle bot, understanding the game and realizing it is "the One," takes control of the code of Pong to make the ball stop and drop. The same thing happens in the movie, where Neo, by "seeing through the code", is able to stop bullets fired at him, and simply let them drop on the floor.

This is also possibly, though not likely, a pun on the meaning of the term "the One," as the long thin paddle looks very similar to how a numeral "1" could be written in several fonts.

In the image text, we learn that after increasing in intelligence, the "paddle" went on to destroy the headquarters of {{w|Atari}}, the producer of Pong, which "trapped" the paddle into the game, much like Neo sought to destroy the machines to free the humans. In the process, the paddle ended up inside the game ''{{w|Enter the Matrix}}'' (a video game produced with ''{{w|The Matrix Reloaded}}'', a sequel to ''The Matrix''), also published by Atari. Since the whole premise of The Matrix is that everyone is trapped in virtual reality, the paddle now found itself in a virtual virtual reality or essentially a meta-virtual reality, which could be pretty hard to comprehend.

==Transcript==
:Cueball: So what do we do if video game AI opponents become smart enough to question the "Matrix" into which we've put them?
:Pong paddle: Wait a minute! None of this is real! I can see through the world! I can see the code! I AM THE ONE!
:[The pong ball is moving towards the paddle.]
:[The pong ball slows down.]
:[The pong ball stops in midair.]
:[The pong ball drops towards the bottom of the screen.]
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:The Matrix]]
[[Category:Artificial Intelligence]]

1916: Temperature Preferences

2017-11-15T15:58:53Z

Alanbbent: Removed the 'climate change' line as it does not help explain the comic.

{{comic
| number = 1916
| date = November 15, 2017
| title = Temperature Preferences
| image = temperature_preferences.png
| titletext = There's a supposed Mark Twain quote, "The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." It isn't really by Mark Twain, but I don't know who said it—I just know they've never been to McMurdo Station.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Edited by a pedant - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This is a chart of major (and not-so-major) populated areas showing seasonal temperature patterns. The chart is a guide to where one might like to live depending on how much summer heat and winter cold they enjoy. There are four focused zones:

* Hate both cold and heat (eg. Quito, Addis Ababa)--Neither summers nor winters are too extreme
* Hate cold but love heat (eg. Rio, Bangkok, Manila)--Very hot in the summer; typically tropical regions
* Hate heat but love cold (eg. Moscow, Oslo)--Very cold in the winter; typically high latitudes
* Love both heat and cold (eg. Seoul, Beijing)--Both summers and winters are too extreme

The summer heat axis is determined by {{w|humidex}}, a system that combines heat and humidity to generate an estimate of perceived "summer discomfort".

{| class="wikitable sortable"
! City
! Country
! Continent
! Average low in coldest month (°C)
! Average high in hottest month (°C)
! Hottest monthly average dew point (°C)
! Humidex
|-
| {{w|Abakan}} || Russia || Asia || -22 || 26 || 13 ||
|-
| {{w|Addis Ababa}} || Ethiopia || Africa || 10 || 22 || 11 ||
|-
| {{w|Altay City|Altay}} || China || Asia || -22 || 27 || 8 ||
|-
| {{w|Athens}} || Greece || Europe || 7 || 31.8 || 14 ||
|-
| {{w|Atlanta}} || United States || North America || 1.3 || 31.7 || 20.1 ||
|-
| {{w|Baghdad}} || Iraq || Asia || 3 || 43 || 8 ||
|-
| {{w|Bangkok}} || Thailand || Asia || 21 || 34 || 24 ||
|-
| {{w|Barcelona}} || Spain || Europe || 4.4 || 28 || 18 ||
|-
| {{w|Beijing}} || China || Asia || -8 || 30 || 20 ||
|-
| {{w|Berlin}} || Germany || Europe || -3 || 22 || 11 ||
|-
| {{w|Blagoveshchensk}} || Russia || Asia || -26.2 || 27.3 || 16 ||
|-
| {{w|Bogotá}} || Colombia || South America || 6 || 19 || 10 ||
|-
| {{w|Boston}} || United States || North America || -5.4 || 27.6 || 16.3 ||
|-
| {{w|Brisbane}} || Australia || Oceania || 9 || 28 || 18 ||
|-
| {{w|Budapest}} || Hungary || Europe || -3 || 26 || 12 ||
|-
| {{w|Buenos Aires}} || Argentina || South America || 7.4 || 30.4 || 16 ||
|-
| {{w|Cairo}} || Egypt || Africa || 9 || 33 || 18 ||
|-
| {{w|Calgary}} || Canada || North America || -13.2 || 23.2 || 7 ||
|-
| {{w|Cape Town}} || South Africa || Africa || 8 || 25 || 15 ||
|-
| {{w|Casper, Wyoming|Casper}} || United States || North America || -10.3 || 31.2 || 6.8 ||
|-
| {{w|Chengdu}} || China || Asia || 2 || 28 || 22 ||
|-
| {{w|Dallas}} || United States || North America || 3 || 36 || 19.4 ||
|-
| {{w|Da Qaidam}} || China || Asia || -23 || 22 || -6 ||
|-
| {{w|Dar es Salaam}} || Tanzania || Africa || 19 || 31 || 23 ||
|-
| {{w|Washington, D.C.|DC}} || United States || North America || -1.9 || 31.3 || 19.1 ||
|-
| {{w|Delhi}} || India || Asia || 7.8 || 39.8 || 24 ||
|-
| {{w|Dhaka}} || Bangladesh || Asia || 12.7 || 33.7 || 25 ||
|-
| {{w|Dubai}} || United Arab Emirates || Asia || 14 || 39 || 23 ||
|-
| {{w|Dublin}} || Ireland || Europe || 2.3 || 19.5 || 11 ||
|-
| {{w|Duluth}} || United States || North America || -16.1 || 23.4 || 13.3 ||
|-
| {{w|Edinburgh}} || United Kingdom || Europe || 1.1 || 19.2 || 10 ||
|-
| {{w|El Paso}} || United States || North America || -0.3 || 35.6 || 12.8 ||
|-
| {{w|Fairbanks}} || United States || North America || -27.2 || 22.6 || 9.8 ||
|-
| {{w|Fargo, North Dakota|Fargo}} || United States || North America || -17.7 || 28.1 || 15.1 ||
|-
| {{w|Flagstaff, Arizona|Flagstaff}} || United States || North America || -7.3 || 30.9 || 8.2 ||
|-
| {{w|Geneva}} || Switzerland || Europe || -1.3 || 26.5 || 12 ||
|-
| {{w|Guangzhou}} || China || Asia || 10 || 32 || 25 ||
|-
| {{w|Hailar District|Hailar}} || China || Asia || -32 || 25 || 13 ||
|-
| {{w|Halifax, Nova Scotia|Halifax}} || Canada || North America || -10 || 22 || 13 ||
|-
| {{w|Ho Chi Minh City}} || Vietnam || Asia || 22 || 33 || 23 ||
|-
| {{w|Hong Kong}} || China || Asia || 14 || 31 || 24 ||
|-
| {{w|Honolulu}} || United States || North America || 18.9 || 31.1 || 20.1 ||
|-
| {{w|Houston}} || United States || North America || 6.2 || 34.7 || 22.7 ||
|-
| {{w|Irkutsk}} || Russia || Asia || -22 || 24.8 || 12 ||
|-
| {{w|Istanbul}} || Turkey || Asia || 2 || 27 || 16 ||
|-
| {{w|Jakarta}} || Indonesia || Asia || 23 || 31 || 23 ||
|-
| {{w|Jerusalem}} || Israel || Asia || 6.4 || 29.4 || 15 ||
|-
| {{w|Jinzhou}} || China || Asia || -12 || 27 || 20 ||
|-
| {{w|Kabul}} || Afghanistan || Asia || -5 || 31 || 8 ||
|-
| {{w|Kansas City}} || United States || North America || -6.9 || 31.3 || 19.6 ||
|-
| {{w|Karachi}} || Pakistan || Asia || 12 || 33 || 25 ||
|-
| {{w|Kiev}} || Ukraine || Europe || -9 || 23 || 12 ||
|-
| {{w|Kinshasa}} || Democratic Republic of Congo || Africa || 20 || 30 || 21 ||
|-
| {{w|Lagos}} || Nigeria || Africa || 23 || 30 || 23 ||
|-
| {{w|Lahore}} || Pakistan || Asia || 8|| 38 || 24 ||
|-
| {{w|London}} || United Kingdom || Europe || 1 || 22.9 || 12 ||
|-
| {{w|Los Angeles}} || United States || North America || 13 || 22 || 16.2 ||
|-
| {{w|Lubbock}} || United States || North America || -3.6 || 33.8 || 15.9 ||
|-
| {{w|Madrid}} || Spain || Europe || 2.6 || 31.2 || 11 ||
|-
| {{w|Manila}} || Philippines || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|McMurdo Station|McMurdo}} || || Antarctica || -31 || -1 || -8 ||
|-
| {{w|Melbourne}} || Australia || Oceania || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Mexico City}} || Mexico || North America || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Miami}} || United States || North America || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Minneapolis}} || United States || North America || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Moscow}} || Russia || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Mumbai}} || India || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Nairobi}} || Kenya || Africa || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Needles, California|Needles}} || United States || North America || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Omaha}} || United States || North America || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Oslo}} || Norway || Europe || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Ottawa}} || Canada || North America || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Paris}} || France || Europe || 2.7 || 25.2 || 12 ||
|-
| {{w|Perth}} || Australia || Oceania || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Portland, Oregon|Portland}} || United States || North America || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Pyongyang}} || North Korea || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Qiqihar}} || China || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Quito}} || Ecuador || South America || 9 || 20 || 9 ||
|-
| {{w|Raleigh}} || United States || North America || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Regina, Saskatchewan|Regina}} || Canada || North America || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Reykjavik}} || Iceland || Europe || -2 || 12 || 7 ||
|-
| {{w|Richmond, Virginia|Richmond}} || United States || North America || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Rio de Janeiro|Rio}} || Brazil || South America || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Riyadh}} || Saudi Arabia || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Rome}} || Italy || Europe || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Sabha, Libya|Sabha}} || Libya || Africa || || || ||
|-
| {{w|St. Louis|Saint Louis}} || United States || North America || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Salt Lake City}} || United States || North America || || || ||
|-
| {{w|San Francisco}} || United States || North America || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Santa Fe, New Mexico|Santa Fe}} || United States || North America || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Santiago}} || Chile || South America || 2.5 || 29.4 || ||
|-
| {{w|Sao Paulo}} || Brazil || South Africa || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Sapporo}} || Japan || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Seoul}} || South Korea || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Shanghai}} || China || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Shenyang}} || China || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Singapore}} || Singapore || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Sioux Falls}} || United States || North America || || || ||
|-
| {{w|St Petersburg}} || Russia || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Stockholm}} || Sweden || Europe || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Sydney}} || Australia || Oceania || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Tashkent}} || Uzbekistan || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Tehran}} || Iran || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Thunder Bay}} || Canada || North America || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Tokyo}} || Japan || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Tongliao}} || China || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Toronto}} || Canada || North America || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Turpan}} || China || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Ulaanbaatar}} || Mongolia || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Urumqi}} || China || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Vancouver}} || Canada || North America || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Vladivostok}} || Russia || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Volgograd}} || Russia || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Wellington}} || New Zealand || Oceania || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Wuhan}} || China || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Xi'an}} || China || Asia || || || ||
|-
| {{w|Yellowknife}} || Canada || North America || -29.5 || 21.3 || 7 ||
|-
| {{w|Yumen City|Yumen}} || China || Asia || || || ||
|-
|}

==Transcript==
:[A chart labeled:]
:<big>Where to live</big>
:based on your temperature preferences
:[In gray, the data source is mentioned below:]
:Climate data from [http://weatherbase.com weatherbase.com]

:[A chart with two lines with single arrows. Each arrow is labeled:]
:Y axis bottom: Cold winters
:X axis right: Hot/humid summers (measured via Humidex, which combines heat and dew point)

:[Near each of the corners of the chart there is a gray blob, labeled:]
:Top left: If you hate cold and heat
:Top right: If you hate cold and love heat
:Bottom left: If you love cold and hate heat
:Bottom right: If you love cold and heat

:[The following city names intersect with the top left blob [hate cold and heat] (in reading order):]
:Mexico City
:Quito
:Addis Ababa
:Bogotá
:San Francisco
:Wellington

:[The following city names intersect with the top right blob [hate cold and love heat] (in reading order):]
:Bangkok
:Ho Chi Minh City
:Manila
:Singapore
:Mumbai
:Jakarta
:Dar Es Salaam
:Honolulu
:Lagos
:Rio [de Janeiro]
:Dhaka
:Kinhasa
:Miami
:Karachi
:Dubai
:Cairo
:Hong Kong
:Delhi
:Riyadh
:Guangzhou
:Lahore
:Sabha
:Houston
:Needles
:El Paso
:Baghdad
:Dallas

:[The following city names intersect with the bottom left blob [love cold and hate heat] (in reading order):]
:Reykjavik (with arrow pointing left)
:Berlin
:Stockholm
:Oslo
:Calgary
:Halifax
:Daqaidam
:Kiev
:Casper
:Yumen
:St Petersburg
:Volgograd
:Moscow
:Ottawa
:Vladivostok
:Thunder Bay
:Duluth
:Urumqi
:Altay
:Regina
:Irkutsk
:Abakan
:Ulaanbaatar
:Blagoveshchensk (also on bottom right blob)
:Fairbanks
:McMurdo (with arrow pointing down-left)
:Yellowknife (with arrow pointing down)
:Hailar

:[The following city names intersect with the bottom right blob [love cold and heat] (in reading order):]
:[Washington] DC
:Shanghai
:Tehran
:Saint Louis
:New York
:Xi'An
:Salt Lake City
:Kansas City
:Beijing
:Seoul
:Sapporo
:Pyongyang
:Sioux Falls
:Turpan
:Jinzhou
:Minneapolis
:Shenyang
:Fargo
:Tongliao
:Qiqihar
:Blagoveshchensk (also on bottom left blob)

:[The following city names do not intersect with any blob (in reading order):]
:Nairobi
:São Paulo
:Brisbane
:Los Angeles
:Perth
:Cape Town
:Sydney
:Athens
:Santiago
:Barcelona
:Melbourne
:Rome
:Buenos Aires
:Jerusalem
:Atlanta
:Raleigh
:Madrid
:Chengdu
:Tokyo
:Dublin
:Portland
:Richmond
:London
:Istanbul
:Edinburgh
:Vancouver
:Paris
:Flagstaff
:Santa Fe
:Tashkent
:Wuhan
:Geneva
:Lubbock
:Boston
:Budapest
:Kabul
:Toronto
:Omaha

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Scatter plots]]

Talk:1913: A ï¿½

2017-11-08T22:35:08Z

Alanbbent:

"no update can never" is logically equivalent to "any update can". Not sure if this is intentional. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.106.60|162.158.106.60]] 16:49, 8 November 2017 (UTC)
: Isn't it logically equivalent to "any update can ''sometimes''"? Linguistically, of course, it can be equivalent either to this, or to "no update can".[[Special:Contributions/141.101.105.198|141.101.105.198]] 16:59, 8 November 2017 (UTC)
: Or did Randall mean to type "no update can ever take this away" which makes more sense to me? [[Special:Contributions/172.68.54.76|172.68.54.76]] 19:08, 8 November 2017 (UTC)

Is this a comment on all those moral panics about 'the youth of today can't read or write because they're only learning to speak in emojis'? And/or about developers using 'undocumented features' in their applications, so that when they're fixed it breaks those applications?[[Special:Contributions/141.101.105.198|141.101.105.198]] 16:55, 8 November 2017 (UTC)

More like on how Randall appears to have strange habits. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.141.52|172.68.141.52]] 16:59, 8 November 2017 (UTC)

Hopefully somebody will make a full tutorial on how to accomplish the title text thing.
[[Special:Contributions/162.158.89.241|162.158.89.241]] 19:03, 8 November 2017 (UTC)
:I could do this easily on the computer with AutoHotKey (which might be overkill), but I'm not sure about iPhones, which are likely the target for the idea. iPhones have built-in text replacement, but I think you have to follow the word to be replaced with a space for it to work, rather than it working instantly (as "mapping a key on your keyboard" implies). [[Special:Contributions/172.68.26.41|172.68.26.41]] 19:15, 8 November 2017 (UTC)

The correct url for this comic would be something like [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=1913:_A_%EF%BF%BD 1913:_A_%EF%BF%BD], but that is an invalid title. It would still probably be better to change it to "A ?" with a note instead of "A_%C3%AF%C2%BF%C2%BD". —[[User:Artyer|Artyer]] <big>([[User Talk:Artyer|talk]]<big>'''|'''</big>[[Special:Contributions/Artyer|ctb]])</big> 21:03, 8 November 2017 (UTC)
: I suggest using ⍰ (U+2370) instead, as it better approximates the original iOS display. --[[Special:Contributions/172.68.54.52|172.68.54.52]] 21:25, 8 November 2017 (UTC)

Interesting to note that the name of the posted image is i.png, which I guess DOES match the name of the comic? [[User:Alanbbent|Alanbbent]] ([[User talk:Alanbbent|talk]]) 22:35, 8 November 2017 (UTC)

1877: Eclipse Science

2017-08-17T23:59:34Z

Alanbbent: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 1877
| date = August 16, 2017
| title = Eclipse Science
| image = eclipse_science.png
| titletext = I was thinking of observing stars to verify Einstein's theory of relativity again, but I gotta say, that thing is looking pretty solid at this point.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|More on eclipses (links). Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The second solar eclipse related comic in a row, the previous being [[1876: Eclipse Searches]]. Released only five days before the {{w|Solar eclipse of August 21, 2017|August 21, 2017}} eclipse in the United States.

This comic reflects on various reasons scientists have for being interested in a total solar eclipse. An eclipse is an astronomical event, which most laypeople associate with science and thus might assume would be of interest to scientists. However, when the reporter probes Megan on scientific interest on the eclipse, Megan gives short and sarcastic answers, downplaying any experimental significance of the phenomenon and indicating that her only interest is in spectacle rather than science. She also makes the point that science is no more involved in an eclipse than any other spectator event, and does not work to observe phenomenon without any interest in discovery. Eclipses are well-understood events and there is no lack of models for explaining the physics behind them; the alignment of bodies in space is a result of orbital mechanics which are present at all times, making the whole event only significant to the observer.

While some astronomers might be testing elaborate hypotheses during an eclipse, for other scientists (eg. organic chemists and herpetologists) it is just a once in a long time (maybe even once in a lifetime) event which is visually interesting.

Megan's point is that in 2017 (and for several decades/centuries previous) eclipses are thoroughly understood. Wikipedia has a listing of {{w|List_of_solar_eclipses_in_the_21st_century|every eclipse that will occur in the 21st Century}}, to include the coordinates and time of greatest eclipse. While eclipses offer a unique opportunity for ground based observation of the Sun's outer layers the majority of the study of the sun is done by satellites that do not require an eclipse to take readings.

The title text refers to a {{w|Tests_of_general_relativity#Deflection_of_light_by_the_Sun|1919 experiment during an eclipse}} to observe gravitational deflection of light waves. The 1919 experiment was the first strong experimental confirmation of Einstein's then-new theory. One century later, general relativity {{w|Tests_of_general_relativity|has been tested and confirmed in so many different ways}} that 'pretty solid' is a vast understatement.

==Transcript==
:[Hairy is speaking into a microphone while interviewing Megan.]
:Hairy: Tell us, are you scientists excited for the eclipse?
:Megan: Sure, lots of people are!

:[Zoom in on Megans head.]
:Hairy (off-panel): Is this a big moment for science?
:Megan: It's a big moment for the sky.

:[Same setting as first panel in a wider panel.]
:Hairy: Are people really excited enough about science to travel to see it?
:Megan: Honestly, it's not that scientific. I mean, it's cool if you're into astronomy, but it's also cool if you're, like, aware of the sun.

:[Same setting.]
:Hairy: But there's lots of science involved.
:Megan: I guess? There's lots of science involved in the Olympics, but you don't need to be a scientist to watch.

:[Megan holds a hand out towards Hairy.]
:Megan: It's not like the concept is all that arcane or mathematical. It's a thing going in front of another thing.

:[Zoom in on Megan holding both arms out.]
:Hairy (off-panel): Then why are you so excited?
:Megan: I'm excited because it's a nearly once-in-a-lifetime chance to watch the sun go dark, hear birds freak out, and see a glowing ring appear in the sky with a sunset on every horizon.

:[Back to same setting as in the first panel.]
:Hairy : Will you be making any scientific observations?
:Megan: I will be like, "Holy shit, look at the sky."
:Megan: Maybe also "This is so cool."
:Megan: We'll see!

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]] 
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Physics]]

1844: Voting Systems

2017-05-31T15:44:26Z

Alanbbent: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1844
| date = May 31, 2017
| title = Voting Systems
| image = voting_systems.png
| titletext = Kenneth Arrow hated me because the ordering of my preferences changes based on which voting systems have what level of support. But it tells me a lot about the people I'm going to be voting with!
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Here we have basically two explanations which have to be merged.}}

In this comic, Cueball, White-hat, and Ponytail are discussing voting systems. Cueball mentions three different types: approval voting, instant runoff, and condorcet voting.

'''Approval voting:''' basic voting system in which a voter can select any number of candidates. Each candidate is treated as a separate question "Do you approve of this person winning, yes or no?" The candidate with the most votes wins. [http://electology.org/approval-voting See this for more info]

'''Instant Runoff:''' Also known as Ranked Choice Voting (RCV), instant runoff voting simulates a series of elections until a single candidate holds more than 50% of the votes. Voters rank as many or all of the candidates on the ballot. In the first round, if no candidate has greater than 50% of the votes, the last place candidate is eliminated. If another election were held, voters who chose the eliminated candidate would vote for their second choice (ranked #2 on their ballots). In the simulated second round, that is exactly what is done. Their votes go to their second choice candidates. This process of eliminating the last place candidate and redistributing votes continues until there are two remaining candidates or a candidate has greater than 50% of the vote. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Instant-runoff_voting Read more here]

Condorcet Method: A Condorcet Method does not refer to a single voting method. It generally refers to a system that allows voters to rank candidates, but specifics may vary. It must fulfill the following requirement: a Condorcet winner is the candidate who would win the majority of the vote in each of the potential head-to-head elections against other candidates. [https://www.opavote.com/methods/condorcet-voting Read more here]

This comic references three types of voting system:

1) [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Approval_voting '''Approval Voting''']: Approval voting is a single-winner electoral system. Each voter may "approve" of (i.e., select) any number of candidates. The winner is the most-approved candidate.

2) [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Instant-runoff_voting '''Instant-Runoff Voting''']: In Instant-Runoff Voting (also known as Ranked Choice or Preferential Voting) voters in elections can rank the candidates in order of preference. Ballots are initially counted for each elector's top choice. If a candidate secures more than half of these votes, that candidate wins. Otherwise, the candidate in last place is eliminated and removed from consideration. The top remaining choices on all the ballots are then counted again. This process repeats until one candidate is the top remaining choice of a majority of the voters.

3) [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Condorcet_method '''Condorcet Method''']: A '''Condorcet method''' is another single-winner electoral system that elects the candidate that would win a majority of the vote in all of the head-to-head elections against each of the other candidates, whenever there is such a candidate. A candidate with this property is called the Condorcet winner. Due to the Condorcet Paradox, there may not be a Condorcet winner in an election with 3 or more candidates.

'''Arrow's impossibility theorem''' states that when voters have three or more distinct alternatives (options), no ranked voting electoral system can convert the ranked preferences of individuals into a community-wide ranking.
The theorem may be interpreted in a way suggesting that no matter what voting electoral system is implemented in a democracy, the resulting democratic choices are equally imperfect.

As a simple illustration, suppose we have three candidates, A, B, and C, and that there are three voters with preferences as follows (candidates being listed left-to-right for each voter in decreasing order of preference):

{| class="wikitable" style="text-align: center;"
! Voter !! First preference !! Second preference !! Third preference
|-
! Voter 1
| A || B || C
|-
! Voter 2
| B || C || A
|-
! Voter 3
| C || A || B
|}

If C is chosen as the winner, it can be argued that B should win instead, since two voters (1 and 2) prefer B to C and only one voter (3) prefers C to B. However, by the same argument A is preferred to B, and C is preferred to A, by a margin of two to one on each occasion. Thus the choice between A and C would not be the same whether the B choice is present or not. This example is referred to as '''Condorcet paradox'''.

The joke in the comic is that often voters don't pick their favorite choice in a vote, because voting for their second or third favorite choice may prevent their least favorite choice from being selected. This is the kind of situation these voting systems are designed to eliminate, as a traditional "first past the pole" voting system creates situations where people do not vote for their first-choice candidate. The idea of having to vote for a voting system creates its own paradox.

==Transcript==
:[White Hat, Ponytail and Cueball are all standing. Cueball is talking.]

:Cueball: I prefer approval voting, but if we're seriously considering instant runoff, then I'll argue for a Condorcet method instead.

:[Caption beneath the panel:]
:Strong Arrow's theorem: the people who find Arrow's theorem significant will never agree on anything anyway.

{{comic discussion}}

1809: xkcd Phone 5

2017-03-10T14:59:54Z

Alanbbent: /* Table of features */

{{comic
| number = 1809
| date = March 10, 2017
| title = xkcd Phone 5
| image = xkcd_phone_5.png
| titletext = The phone will be collected by the toll operators and mailed back to you within 4-6 weeks.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Needs a lot more}}
Today's cartoon is the fifth [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone]] with many questionably-useful features:

===Table of features===
{| class="wikitable"
!Feature
!Explanation
|-
|'''Bluetooth speaker'''
| This is the only potentially useful feature of this phone as while a bluetooth speaker built in to the device would be no more useful for playing music from it than any other speaker it would enable other devices to play through your phone.
|-
|'''Stained-glass display'''
| Prevents seeing certain colors. This would also make the phone considerably heavier due to the weight of the glass.
|-
|'''Gallium chassis remains solid up to 85°F'''
| Many high-end electronic devices have chassis made of alloys of light metals such as magnesium or titanium. Besides being lightweight and of superior quality and durability than ordinary sheet steel or cheap plastic, these are often perceived as bragging points by the users, boasting about 'rare' metal chassis.

{{w|Gallium}} is a not-so-well known metal that has a very low melting point of 85°F (or 29.7°C), being one of only four metals (the other being mercury, rubidium and caesium) that are liquid near room temperature. Its melting point is lower than a healthy person's body temperature. Having a gallium smartphone chassis would be therefore very impractical because it will melt in user's bare hand and would require using some kind of insulating gloves. Besides it would have to be stored in a cool place and the internal electronics should have really good cooling, otherwise either the external or internal heat would melt the chassis.
|-
|'''Soundproof'''
| Presumably this means that speakers and microphone may not work.
|-
|'''Can feel pain'''
| This would presumably become apparent when the chassis melts on contact with exposed skin and the phone is left with open wounds.
|-
|'''E-Z Pass partnership'''
|{{w|E-Z Pass}} is an account you put money into and you put a transmitter in your windshield so when you go through a toll booth you don't have to stop and pay by hand. However, this proposition is absurd, because you would lose the phone and still have to stop to pay the toll. The title text says that the phone will be returned to you after 4–6 weeks, which slightly mitigates the first problem, but you would still lose the phone for a month.
|-
|'''Foldable (once)'''
|Presumably you can "fold" it by snapping it in half but you can only do his once because the phone wont work otherwise. It may refer to the fact that a later version of iPhone had a weak spot that lead it to easily folding and breaking. The "(once)" part may refer to a joke by Jeff Dunham on his Meet Melvin act, where he asks the puppet if it can stop a speeding bullet, to which the puppet says "Once".
|-
|'''Screen transfers images to skin'''
| This could either mean the image displayed on the screen or potentially whatever the stained glass image itself is.
|-
|'''Retina storage'''
| This is a play on the name of apple's prized "Retina Display". The joke may be in reference to apple's possession of a trademark for the word "retina" in regards to computer equipment, which is made to seem absurd by the unusual use. It is not made clear whose retinas are meant to be stored.
|-
|'''Background task automatically catches and eats Pokémon'''
| Likely reference to {{w|Pokémon Go}}, an augmented reality game where the goal to go to specific locations and play a mini-game in order to catch virtual creatures called pokemon. This phone apparently does it automatically, which is considered cheating. However, it also eats them, which is something that is not part of the game and wouldn't be desirable.
|-
|'''Supercuts partnership'''
| {{w|Supercuts}} is an American hair salon chain that provides hair cuts and styling. The implication here is that the user can get a haircut by sticking their hair in the charging slot.
|-
|'''Squelch knob'''
|Squlech is a feature of two-way radios (CB, ham, etc) which quiets background noise when no signal is present. For a smartphone, perhaps this knob could control the "signal-to-noise" ratio of your Facebook feed or other social media platforms.
|-
|'''IBM buckling-spring Home button'''
|IBM buckling-spring keyboards are favorites of geeks for the feeling of quality and auditory feedback (keys click loudly) they provide. The iPhone's Home button provides little to no such satisfaction when pressed.
|-
|'''Cot-caught merger switch'''
| This is a reference to the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cot%E2%80%93caught_merger cot-caught merger], a linguistic change happening among English speakers, particularly in some parts of North America and the British Isles, which causes caught (previously pronounced "kawt") to be pronounced the same as cot (pronounced "kot").
|-
|'''60x optical zoom camera'''
|A powerful optical zoom is usually a desirable feature for cameras. However, as shown in the comic, it results in very bulky lens. For that reason, such lens are rarely used in smartphones, though there are some devices like the Samsung Galaxy Camera that have a similar design.
|-
|'''Loran navigation'''
| Once developed for sea shipping, it enables navigation by land-based radio transmitters and is accurate to about 300 meters.
|-
|'''28-factor authentication'''
| An authentication factor is a way of proving ones identity. It can be a password, a fingerprint, a physical key, etc.... Secure applications may include two or more factors, a common example is the "PIN and chip" system used with credit cards, where you need both the card and secret code to authorize a transaction. Many online services now provide two-factor authentication to protect against password-based attacks. A 28-factor authentication would be very secure in theory but so impractical that it would be unusable.
|-
|'''Hook shot'''
| Either a reference to the basketball shot or the Legend of Zelda weapon/tool, used to bring items to Link or bring Link closer to a goal.
|-
|}

==Transcript==

:[An image of a smartphone featuring large camera lens is shown. Clockwise from the top the labels read:]

:Bluetooth speaker

:Stained-glass display

:Gallium chassis remains solid up to 85°F

:Soundproof

:Can feel pain

:E-Z Pass partnership: phone can be dropped into coin basket to pay tolls

:Foldable (once)

:Screen transfers images to skin

:Retina storage

:Background task automatically catches and eats Pokemon

:Supercuts partnership: trims hair fed into charging port

:Squeltch knob

:IBM buckling-spring Home button

:Cot-caught merger switch

:60x optical zoom camera

:Loran navigation

:28-factor authentication

:Hook shot

:[Below the phone:]
:Introducing
:<big><big>The XKCD Phone 5</big></big>
:We're trying to catch up to Apple but refuse to skip numbers®™
{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:xkcd Phones]]

1787: Voice Commands

2017-01-18T16:51:18Z

Alanbbent: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 1787
| date = January 18, 2017
| title = Voice Commands
| image = voice_commands.png
| titletext = Dvorak words may sound hard to pronounce, but studies show they actually put less stress on the vocal chords.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page.}}
The Dvorak layout was designed to replace the QWERTY keyboard layout (the de facto standard keyboard layout, so named for the starting letters in the top row). The Dvorak layout was designed in the belief that it would significantly increase typing speeds over the QWERTY layout. Using Dvorak for speech to text makes no sense whatsoever.

The sentence he tells his phone translates to "Okay Google send a text" - he says it as if it was typed on a QWERTY keyboard set to Dvorak layout.
This is a reference to the fact that many users of DVORAK keyboards claim they may be hard to learn, but they are more productive after you get used to them. This makes little sense in the scenario set up by the comic, because no typing is involved in giving voice commands to Google.

==Transcript==
[Ponytail] Can you text it to me?

[Cueball] Sure! SVAT USSUPD ;DLH A KDBK

[Ponytail] ...What?

[Phone beeps]

{{comic discussion}}

1762: Moving Boxes

2016-11-21T15:52:48Z

Alanbbent:

{{comic
| number = 1762
| date = November 21, 2016
| title = Moving Boxes
| image = moving_boxes.png
| titletext = Later, when I remember that I'm calling movers, I frantically scribble over the labels and write 'NORMAL HOUSE STUFF' on all of them, which actually makes things worse.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Fill table}}
[[Randall]] talks about moving boxes and not labeling them until he forgets what's in them. Since he doesn't know what's in them, he writes silly things on the boxes as a joke. Some things are unusual/unlikely (e.g. sand, hydrants, peat) and some are abstract/impossible (e.g. elves, taupe, dark matter).

===Explanation of boxes===
{| class="wikitable" width="100%"
!Label
!Explanation
|-
!Box 1
|-
|Grids||
|-
|Bison||
|-
|Checkerboards||
|-
|Fog||
|-
!Box 2
|-
|Beacons||
|-
|Elves||
|-
|Sand||
|-
!Box 3
|-
|Hemoglobin||
|-
!Box 4
|-
|Water||
|-
|Hooves||
|-
!Box 5
|-
|Shorebirds||
|-
!Box 6
|-
|Oil||
|-
|Vectors||
|-
|Silt||
|-
!Box 7
|-
|Membranes||
|-
|Shards||
|-
!Box 8
|-
|Shawls||
|-
|Glucose||
|-
|Kits||
|-
!Box 9
|-
|Hydrants||
|-
|Particles||
|-
|Knots||
|-
!Box 10
|-
|Graphite||
|-
|Taupe||
|-
!Box 11
|-
|Field Lines||
|-
!Box 12
|-
|Traps||
|-
!Box 13
|-
|Edges||
|-
|Tribes||
|-
|Dough||
|-
!Box 14
|-
|Dark Matter||
|-
!Box 15
|-
|Manifolds||
|-
!Box 16
|-
|Triangles||
|-
|Peat||
|-
|Crowns||
|-
!Box 17
|-
|Scrolls||
|}

According to the title text, when Randall remembers that he is calling movers, he frantically scribbles "Normal House Stuff" on all the boxes. He says this makes the situation worse because the movers see the scribble and become suspicious.

==Transcript==
[A bunch of cardboard boxes stacked up, each labeled]
{| class="wikitable"
| style="visibility:hidden" |
| colspan="2" |
Grids 
Bison 
Checkerboards 
Fog
| colspan="2" |
Beacons 
Elves 
Sand
| colspan="2" |
Hemoglobin
| colspan="2" |
Water 
Hooves
| style="visibility:hidden" |
|-|
| style="visibility:hidden" |
| colspan="2" |
Shorebirds
| colspan="2" |
Oil 
Vectors 
Silt
| colspan="2" |
Membranes 
Shards
| colspan="2" |
Shawls 
Glucose 
Kits
| style="visibility:hidden" |
|-|
| style="visibility:hidden" |
| colspan="2" |
Hydrants 
Particles 
Knots
| colspan="2" |
Graphite 
Taupe
| colspan="2" |
Field Lines
| colspan="2" |
Traps
| style="visibility:hidden" |
|-|
| colspan="2" |
Edges 
Tribes 
Dough
| colspan="2" |
Dark Matter
| colspan="2" |
Manifolds
| colspan="2" |
Triangles 
Peat 
Crowns
| colspan="2" |
Scrolls
|}
[A caption:]
I always forget to label my moving boxes until they're sealed up and I've forgotten what's in them.
{{comic discussion}}

1535: Words for Pets

2015-06-08T19:14:04Z

Alanbbent: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1535
| date = June 8, 2015
| title = Words for Pets
| image = words_for_pets.png
| titletext = Seventh year: Perfectly coherent words, but in the pet's language, not mine.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic shows four similar {{w|Euler diagram}}s, one for each of the first four years of living with a {{w|pet}}. The diagrams depict sets of words which have varying efficacy in actually identifying the pet, and each one shows how the words used by [[Randall]] to refer to his pet change year by year (becoming less and less specific as time goes on).

In the first year it is dominated by the actual name of the pet or words closely related. For example a dog named Lassie might be called either "{{w|Lassie}}", "dog", "collie" or "boy/girl".

Moving on to the second year, these related words like "dog" and "collie" get more abundant while the actual name is seldom used. Phrases such as "good dog" or "here, boy" are likely common. Giving a dog the name "Dog" is so common that there is a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ADogNamedDog trope] about that.

In the third year, the pet's name is no longer used at all and the owner probably uses simple phrases like "come" or "come here" to call the pet, omitting the name.

The fourth year entails the use of just any sound, not {{w|Coherence (linguistics)|coherent words}}. This may be referring to something like {{w|baby talk}} or attempted mimicry of the pet's vocalizations.

This development can be attributed to the fact that some animals don't listen to their own name but rather react to the sound of the voice of their owner. It could also refer to the growing bond between owner and the pet.

The title text suggests that the inevitable result of this continuing pattern is that by the seventh year, Randall will be communicating with the pet in its own language. This might refer to the tendency of some pet owners to mimic or imitate their pets' vocalizations, as if speaking to them. Alternatively, this could be interpreted as a joke that pets don't have proper {{w|language}} and the owner has degenerated into lack on language his/herself as time goes on.

The title text and the caption makes it a little difficult to be certain if the comic reefers to when you talk about your pet to other people ("my ''dog'' is always hungry") or when you call at it, which would be the only time it would make sense to use ''coherent words in the animals own language''. ("Woof" = come here).

The idea of pets having a detrimental effect on human vocabulary was previously visited in [[231: Cat Proximity]], also with a graphical representation of the effect.

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the frame:]
:Words I use to refer to a pet over the years I live with it:

:[Inside the box are four diagrams. Each diagram contains three elliptical sections containing the previous one, each section is drawn identical from diagram to diagram and they are labeled the same way from diagram to diagram. A fourth section (a red ellipse) moves from diagram to diagram and it's label changes from diagram to diagram.]

:[The red section of the first diagram mainly overlaps the innermost section, but about a third of it is in the second section. The labels are written above the three white sections and then inside the red section. The labels from inside and out and last the label of the red section:]
:The pet's name
:Words related to the pet
:Coherent words of any kind
:First year

:[The red section of the second diagram mainly overlaps the right part of the second section, but it just touches both the first and the third section. The labels are written above the three white sections and then inside the red section. The labels from inside and out and last the label of the red section:]
:The pet's name
:Words related to the pet
:Coherent words of any kind
:Second year

:[The red section of the third diagram mainly overlaps the right part of the third section, but about a third of it is inside the second section and a small part is outside of the third section. The labels are written above the three white sections and then inside the red section. The labels from inside and out and last the label of the red section:]
:The pet's name
:Words related to the pet
:Coherent words of any kind
:Third year

:[The red section of the fourth diagram is completely outside the third section and has to be so far to the right, that the other sections has been moved from the center of the frame to the left. The labels are written above the three white sections and then inside the red section. The labels from inside and out and last the label of the red section:]
:The pet's name
:Words related to the pet
:Coherent words of any kind
:Fourth year onward

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Animals]]

Talk:1403: Thesis Defense

2014-08-05T00:00:15Z

Alanbbent:

Sorry, but if your best defense is frightening counter attack a good offense will destroy you. The best defense is a good offense because a weakened or destroyed opponent can mount no offense.[[Special:Contributions/173.245.48.132|173.245.48.132]] 05:58, 4 August 2014 (UTC)BluDgeons

:Depends on type of counter attack. For example, the best defense against missiles is to fire anti-missile missiles, which may be seen as type of attack. Of course, the phrase is older than missiles, but I believe similar principles applied: not retaliation nor first strike, but attacking the enemy units which are trying to attack you. Alternatively, attacking enemy army supply lines may also force it to interrupt her attack on you. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 10:22, 4 August 2014 (UTC)

::No. Anti-missile missiles are an absolutely dreadful defense agaisnt missiles. Their success rate is well below 100% and has only recently risen above 0%. The actual best defense against missiles is to blow them up on the ground, before they are launched, i.e. An offensive attack. [[User:JamesCurran|JamesCurran]] ([[User talk:JamesCurran|talk]]) 20:12, 4 August 2014 (UTC)

The expression is based on a concept that is military and ancient, but I wonder if the expression itself, in English, originated with American football, sometime since the game's birth in the 1860s. It is so specifically applicable to this game, where a team's defense and offense are completely separate units, run separately and spoken of separately and yet an extremely effective way to keep the opponent from scoring is to maintain possession of the ball while the game clock ticks down. [[User:Wrybred|Wrybred]] ([[User talk:Wrybred|talk]]) 13:18, 4 August 2014 (UTC)wrybred

: While it is applicable in most attacking sports, then I seriously doubt that it originated in American Football -- I has been some time since I read {{w|Sun Tzu}}'s {{w|The Art of War}} which is one of the oldest texts in existence, but I suspect it may already be in there predating anything else [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 22:05, 4 August 2014 (UTC)

May or may not also be inspired by Studio C: Thesis Defense http://youtu.be/Lrlro3YJ15o Teagan N {{unsigned ip|173.245.48.134}}

Can anyone make out what's written on the board? {{unsigned ip|141.101.105.220}}
: No, probably not -- [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 21:57, 4 August 2014 (UTC)

: My best guess after resizing the image a few times is
:: [The|To] [F|Falcons?] [at|of] [T|Times?]
:: [D|Displays?] [a|is|its] [M|Moods?]
:: [by?] {illegible first name (short maybe Meg)} {illegible surname (long)
:: [C|{illegible}] [the] {illegible 1 short word 1 long word or only 1 long word}
:: {illegible mid size word} {illegible short word maybe is} {illegible short word a} {illegible} {illegible} {{unsigned|Meerkat}}

: Looks to me like "The Evolution of [Thesis/Turtle] Displays & Moods" something illegible, probably her name, followed by "Candidate for [illegible]"[[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.52|141.101.98.52]]

: I read "The Evolution of Threat Displays in Murder" as the topic after lots of enlargement.[[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.207|173.245.54.207]] 14:30, 4 August 2014 (UTC)

Thanks! Came here today for this, created account to say thanks :) [[User:Mathiastck|Mathiastck]] ([[User talk:Mathiastck|talk]]) 18:18, 4 August 2014 (UTC)
: You'r welcome [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 21:59, 4 August 2014 (UTC)

"In conclusion" suggests she's almost finished with her presentation. I wonder what the panel thought of her holding a sword many times thicker than her stick-body for the duration of her defense.[[User:Alanbbent|Alanbbent]] ([[User talk:Alanbbent|talk]]) 00:00, 5 August 2014 (UTC)

== Incomplete? ==

looks to me that this pretty complete -- remove the incomplete tag? [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 22:50, 4 August 2014 (UTC)

Talk:1403: Thesis Defense

2014-08-04T23:59:26Z

Alanbbent:

Sorry, but if your best defense is frightening counter attack a good offense will destroy you. The best defense is a good offense because a weakened or destroyed opponent can mount no offense.[[Special:Contributions/173.245.48.132|173.245.48.132]] 05:58, 4 August 2014 (UTC)BluDgeons

:Depends on type of counter attack. For example, the best defense against missiles is to fire anti-missile missiles, which may be seen as type of attack. Of course, the phrase is older than missiles, but I believe similar principles applied: not retaliation nor first strike, but attacking the enemy units which are trying to attack you. Alternatively, attacking enemy army supply lines may also force it to interrupt her attack on you. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 10:22, 4 August 2014 (UTC)

::No. Anti-missile missiles are an absolutely dreadful defense agaisnt missiles. Their success rate is well below 100% and has only recently risen above 0%. The actual best defense against missiles is to blow them up on the ground, before they are launched, i.e. An offensive attack. [[User:JamesCurran|JamesCurran]] ([[User talk:JamesCurran|talk]]) 20:12, 4 August 2014 (UTC)

The expression is based on a concept that is military and ancient, but I wonder if the expression itself, in English, originated with American football, sometime since the game's birth in the 1860s. It is so specifically applicable to this game, where a team's defense and offense are completely separate units, run separately and spoken of separately and yet an extremely effective way to keep the opponent from scoring is to maintain possession of the ball while the game clock ticks down. [[User:Wrybred|Wrybred]] ([[User talk:Wrybred|talk]]) 13:18, 4 August 2014 (UTC)wrybred

: While it is applicable in most attacking sports, then I seriously doubt that it originated in American Football -- I has been some time since I read {{w|Sun Tzu}}'s {{w|The Art of War}} which is one of the oldest texts in existence, but I suspect it may already be in there predating anything else [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 22:05, 4 August 2014 (UTC)

May or may not also be inspired by Studio C: Thesis Defense http://youtu.be/Lrlro3YJ15o Teagan N {{unsigned ip|173.245.48.134}}

Can anyone make out what's written on the board? {{unsigned ip|141.101.105.220}}
: No, probably not -- [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 21:57, 4 August 2014 (UTC)

: My best guess after resizing the image a few times is
:: [The|To] [F|Falcons?] [at|of] [T|Times?]
:: [D|Displays?] [a|is|its] [M|Moods?]
:: [by?] {illegible first name (short maybe Meg)} {illegible surname (long)
:: [C|{illegible}] [the] {illegible 1 short word 1 long word or only 1 long word}
:: {illegible mid size word} {illegible short word maybe is} {illegible short word a} {illegible} {illegible} {{unsigned|Meerkat}}

: Looks to me like "The Evolution of [Thesis/Turtle] Displays & Moods" something illegible, probably her name, followed by "Candidate for [illegible]"[[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.52|141.101.98.52]]

: I read "The Evolution of Threat Displays in Murder" as the topic after lots of enlargement.[[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.207|173.245.54.207]] 14:30, 4 August 2014 (UTC)

Thanks! Came here today for this, created account to say thanks :) [[User:Mathiastck|Mathiastck]] ([[User talk:Mathiastck|talk]]) 18:18, 4 August 2014 (UTC)
: You'r welcome [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 21:59, 4 August 2014 (UTC)

"In conclusion" suggests she's almost finished with her presentation. I wonder what the panel thought of her holding a sword many times thicker than her stick-body for the duration of her defense.

== Incomplete? ==

looks to me that this pretty complete -- remove the incomplete tag? [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 22:50, 4 August 2014 (UTC)

674: Natural Parenting

2014-06-04T23:49:16Z

Alanbbent: minor typos

{{comic
| number = 674
| date = December 11, 2009
| title = Natural Parenting
| image = natural_parenting.png
| titletext = On one hand, every single one of my ancestors going back billions of years has managed to figure it out. On the other hand, that's the mother of all sampling biases.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This explain needs a rework on language. Too many guesses like diapers...}}
This comic relates to the anxiety most couples experience after having a child. Often people will advice new parents to do what comes naturally and trust their instincts. This offers little help to the new parents.

In this comic a couple finds themselves with a child. Both parents experience anxiety over how to manage there life with the child. The father, to defuse the situation states that parenting can not be that hard, and that they should do what comes naturally. Later the couple find them selves with a second child and still no idea about how to parent. Since the couple was attracted to each other enough to have a child in the first place, doing what comes naturally included having another child. Thus the "natural" instincts for breeding are strong, but the instincts for raising children properly are weak, incomplete, or non-existent.

The title text claims that parenting can't be too hard because historically everyone's grandparents must have figured it out since they produced a child that successfully bred. Randall jokes that this is the "mother" of all {{w|sampling bias}}es because his ancestors represent only the (possibly small) fraction who successfully raised children, instead of the entire sample of people attempting to raise children.

The baby says, "Baby!", either copying Cueball, or saying its name, Pokémon-style.

[[441: Babies]] is another strip featuring clueless new parents.

Natural parenting may be an allusion to {{w|attachment parenting}}. This strategy for child-rearing normally entails extended nursing and encourages positive reinforcement. Sometimes modern medicine and processed foods are restricted as well. Natural parenting approaches can vary greatly from parent to parent. Because of the awkwardness and stigma of breastfeeding as well as its traditionalism, attachment parenting can elicit powerful opinions from both its opponents and proponents. Various media and politicians have seized on this hot topic, as well as motherhood in general. Extreme natural parenting methods became the notorious cover story of TIME Magazine in May 2012.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are standing with a baby in between them.]
:Cueball: Oh man, we made a baby.
:Megan: ''Don't panic. Don't panic.''
:Baby: Baby!

:Cueball: Parenting can't be that hard. Let's just do what comes naturally.

:[Beat frame.]

:Soon:
:[There are now two babies in between them.]
:Megan: Aw, crap.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Romance]]

399: Travelling Salesman Problem

2014-06-04T23:45:15Z

Alanbbent:

{{comic
| number = 399
| date = March 21, 2008
| title = Travelling Salesman Problem
| image = travelling_salesman_problem.png
| titletext = What's the complexity class of the best linear programming cutting-plane techniques? I couldn't find it anywhere. Man, the Garfield guy doesn't have these problems...
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|Travelling salesman problem}} is a classic problem in computer science. An intuitive way of stating this problem is that given a list of cities and their pairwise distances, the task is to find the shortest possible route that visits each city exactly once and then returns to the origin city. A naive solution solves the problem in {{w|Factorial|O(n!) time}} (where n is the size of the list), simply by checking all possible routes, and selecting the shortest one. A more efficient {{w|Dynamic programming|dynamic programming}} approach yields a solution in O(n22n) time. These times are given using {{w|Big O notation}}, which is commonly used in computer science to show the efficiency or complexity of a solution or algorithm.

The joke is that the salesman selling online (say on {{w|eBay}}, {{w|Amazon Marketplace}}, or other virtual marketplace) does not have to worry about this problem since he does not need to travel, to which the travelling salesman angrily responds "shut the hell up".

The title text wonders about the time complexity of the {{w|Cutting-plane method}}, which is sometimes used to solve optimization problems.
The last sentence suggests the down side for Randall of writing comics about computer science; he sometimes encounters problems to which he cannot find the answer, whereas authors of simpler comics such as {{w|Garfield}} do not have this problem. This is also likely a reference to [[78: Garfield]], which parodies Garfield's simplicity.

This is so far the only comic featuring the [[Brown Hat]] character.

Also see previous strip [[287: NP-Complete]].

==Transcript==
:[There is a linked black web, with a path in red; it may be a map of the USA.]
:Brute-force solution:O(n!)
:[The web continues in this one. A man with a hat and a case is drawing it.]
:Dynamic programming algorithms: O(n22n)
:[Another man, with a hat too, is at a computer, looking back over the chair.]
:Selling on eBay: O(1)
:eBay salesman: Still working on your route?
:Drawing salesman: Shut the hell up.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Brown Hat]]
[[Category:Math]]

513: Friends

2014-05-30T22:32:32Z

Alanbbent: /* Minor grammar/typos */

{{comic
| number = 513
| date = December 5, 2008
| title = Friends
| image = friends.png
| titletext = Friends with detriments.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is talking apparently to [[Megan]]. He confesses that he has a crush on her. Usually the next step, when a boy likes a girl (or a girl likes a boy, boy likes a boy, etc.), is to ask the other person out. But Cueball takes a different route and in the comic he explains his thought process. Presumably he does not actually explain this to Megan.

He explains that he is afraid of rejection, and so instead of asking her out directly, promises to be her best friend and someone who is always 'there for you', in the hopes that this will eventually lead to Megan developing an attraction for him. This way, Cueball does not have to risk Megan saying 'No' to him, as she will be led to make the first move instead. Cueball is aware that this may not be an ideal situation for Megan, conceding that she may end up changing her definition of happiness to make her feel more comfortable in the relationship, while she is conscious of the fact that she doesn't really love Cueball. Cueball recognises that if Megan fell for him this way, she would probably have this fact at the back of her mind forever.

And so, after painting this elaborate - but troubling - future, Cueball asks ''sound good''? Megan, however, is not won over by Cueball's plan, and tells him that she is going to date ''this jerk'' instead (she could have said any name here - to Cueball it will always sound like jerk!) This suggests that she would much rather date someone else rather than date Cueball whom she - as he correctly implies - does not love.

Cueball declares that the other suitor ''doesn't respect you'', an absurdly hypocritical comment given his manipulative plan. He explained earlier that he would ''tear down the jerks you date'', this last line could also be him actually executing on the plan he just detailed.

The title text is a play on the concept of ''friends with benefits'', wherein two friends have casual sex without entering into a ''relationship''. ''Friends with detriments'' suggests that having Cueball as her friend, damages Megan's chances of getting a ''relationship'' (and sex) with anyone else, since Cueball will tear any candidate down.

Alternative explanation for the title text: It could mean that if Megan and Cueball entered into a relationship, they would still only be friends, but with the detriment of Megan being aware that she is not really loving him. However, when they enter a relationship they stop being friends...

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is talking to a girl.]
:Cueball: I have a crush on you.

:[Cueball is shown alone.]
:Cueball: I could ask you out, and move on with my life if you said no.

:Cueball: Or, WE COULD BE FRIENDS!

:Cueball: See, I don't want to consider that you might not be attracted to me. I'm scared of rejection, so I've decided relationships should grow :smoothly out of friendships.

:[Megan is shown sitting at her computer.]
:Cueball: When you have problems, I'll be there for you, night after night.
:Cueball: Selflessly.
:Computer (Instant message from boy): *hug*

:[Megan is shown slamming door and walking to Cueball to get a hug.]
:Cueball: I'll tear down the jerks you date, and wait for you to realize how good I am for you. That only I will ever understand you.
:''SLAM''
:Megan: ''Sniff''
:Cueball: There there

:[Cueball is shown alone again.]
:Cueball: You don't want to hurt my feelings, and I won't ever force the issue. I'll tell myself it's because I "Value our friendship."

:Cueball: Bit by bit, I'll make you depend on me.

:[Cueball and girl are shown sitting on a rock in a park, reading a book together.]
:Cueball: You'll think about how long it would take to build this kind of connection again.

:[Cueball and girl are shown sitting on a couch drinking, getting closer, and kissing.]
:Cueball: And in a moment of weakness
:Cueball: and loneliness
:Cueball: you'll give in.

:[Megan is shown sitting at the computer with Cueball behind her facing the other way washing dishes.]
:Cueball: It'll feel comfortable and natural. You'll quietly revise your definition of love and try to be happy. And sometimes you will be.

:[Megan is shown sitting at the computer.]
:Cueball: Only the wistfulness in your gaze and the tiny pause before you say "I love you" will hint that this wasn't the ending you'd hoped for.
:Cueball: Sound good?

:[Megan is holding hands with another boy, talking to Cueball.]
:Megan: ...I'm going to date this jerk.
:Cueball: But he doesn't respect you!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Sarcasm]]

1027: Pickup Artist

2014-05-30T22:19:59Z

Alanbbent: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1027
| date = March 9, 2012
| title = Pickup Artist
| image = pickup_artist.png
| titletext = Son, don't try to play 'make you feel bad' with the Michael Jordan of making you feel bad.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Hairy]] and [[Cueball]] are sitting at a table with drinks. Hairy tells Cueball that he's learned some {{w|pickup artist}} tricks. Cueball is appalled, declaring that pickup artists are "dehumanizing creeps". Hairy argues that he's simply learning new tactics such as "[http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=negging negging]" (undercutting the target's self-esteem so that she'll feel vulnerable and crave approval), evidently oblivious to the fact that he's proving Cueball's point. Rejecting Cueball's advice to simply talk to women "like a fucking human being", Hairy sets off to try out the technique.

Meanwhile, [[Black Hat]] and [[Danish]] are sitting at another table. Black Hat leaves to roll a bowling ball through the rest room stalls to smash the feet of anyone else who using them. As people sit down to use a bathroom stall most of the time, their feet would be vulnerable to being hit in sequence. Perhaps Black Hat is going for a 'strike'. Hairy approaches Danish, while Cueball looks on and says "oh no" — seemingly recognizing Danish and anticipating the disaster Hairy is walking into.

Hairy makes an attempt at "negging" by suggesting that Danish's fruit plate reflects a need to lose weight. Danish, naturally being a master at psychological manipulation, immediately realizes his game, and crushes him utterly by taking another shot in the psychological dark ([[440: Road Rage]]) — telling him that he's trapped in an endless cycle of failure because he's ultimately a mediocre person and will never do anything of value with his life. Demoralized, Hairy declares that he needs to go home and think about his life; Danish tells him "It won't help," since she's just finished telling him that he'll never succeed at changing.

The title text refers to {{w|Michael Jordan}}, a very popular and accomplished {{w|basketball}} player who played for the {{w|Chicago Bulls}} and the {{w|Washington Wizards}}. His name is often used as a noun to denote that someone is the best in their field, which is later used in [[1120: Blurring the Line]].

The pick up subject and Hairy returned in [[1178: Pickup Artists]].

==Transcript==
:[Hairy and Cueball sitting at a table.]
:Hairy: I've been learning tricks from pickup artist forums.
:Cueball: Pickup artists are dehumanizing creeps who see relationships as adversarial and women as sex toys.

:[Close-up of Hairy's head, with a faint outline of Black hat and Danish sitting at a table in the background.]
:Hairy: No, it's just a bunch of tips! Like ''negging'': you belittle chicks to undermine their self-confidence so they'll be more vulnerable and seek your approval.

:[Close-up of Cueball's head.]
:Cueball: Just talk to them like a fucking human being.
:Hairy: Nah, that's a sucker's game. Ok— wish me luck!

:''Meanwhile''
:[Black Hat and Danish at a table. Black hat is standing up with a bowling ball under his arm.]
:Black Hat: I'm going to the bathroom to roll a bowling ball under the line of stalls.
:Danish: Cool.

:[Close up of Cueball's head, with Hairy approaching Danish's table in the background.]
:Cueball: Oh no.

:[Hairy and Danish at a table. Hairy is standing up and leaning on the table.]
:Hairy: You look like you're on a diet. That's great! How's the fruit plate?

:[Close-up of Danish's head.]
:Danish: Ooh- are we negging? Let me try!

:[Close-up of Danish's head, with her hand raised.]
:Danish: You look like you're going to spend your life having one epiphany after another, always thinking you've finally figured out what's holding you back, and how you can finally be productive and creative and turn your life around. But nothing will ever change. That cycle of mediocrity isn't due to some obstacle. It's who you ''are''. The thing standing in the way of your dreams is; that the person having them is ''you''.

:[Hairy and Danish at a table. Hairy is standing up.]
:Danish: Ok, your turn! Ooh, try insulting my hair!
:Hairy: I think I need to go home and think about my life.
:Danish: It won't help.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Romance]]

440: Road Rage

2014-05-30T22:11:25Z

Alanbbent: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 440
| date = June 23, 2008
| title = Road Rage
| image = road rage.png
| titletext = Okay, now just as the loss hits him, slam on the brakes.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Black Hat]] is driving a car, and [[Danish]] is with him in the passenger's seat. Black Hat gets annoyed because the car behind him is too close.

Danish decides to fight back, so she turns on her laptop and finds that the car behind them also has a laptop running. Since the cars are so close, the other laptop is well within WiFi range, so she manages to establish a WiFi connection with the laptop in the other car. Then, Danish finds a security hole (in the comic, a "remote exploit"). She uses it to break into the laptop and install a speech synthesizer.
This means that the laptop in the car behind just starts saying words at Danish's will.

The driver of the other car is puzzled when he starts hearing a voice. He's completely clueless about where the voice comes from. Also, he's driving alone so he's probably frightened (or nervous at least) to find that someone is speaking inside his car. The fact that the voice says "she'd be alive if it weren't for you" surely won't help him relax. The "shot in the dark" is the gamble that this statement is especially meaningful and poignant to the driver.

In the title text, Danish is continuing her revenge, asking Black Hat to slam on the brakes. As it is now to be expected that the driver is nervous, puzzled and surprised on top of being distracted, looking for the voice's source, while already driving unsafely close, it is clear that Danish hopes he won't have enough stopping distance to avoid a collision, slamming into Black Hat's car. Since the blame for such types of accident is always given to the driver of the car behind, Black Hat will no doubt enjoy adding both the blame and the traffic accident on top of what Danish has already accomplished. This may seem ironic as Black Hat was annoyed to begin with, but he will rather make an example than avoid the accident.

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat is driving and Danish who seems to be his equal is in the passenger's seat. They are closely followed by some other vehicle.]
:Black Hat: That guy's tailgating me.
:Danish: I'll take a look.

:[A car is shown to be closely behind Black Hat's car.]
:Danish: His laptop's running, probably in the back seat. And... yup, the WiFi autoconnects.

:[Close-up of Danish using a laptop.]
:Danish: Now we just scan for remote exploits... install speech synth... And take a shot in the psychological dark.

:[Cueball's car.]
:Laptop: Hello.
:Cueball: What? Who's there?
:Laptop: She'd be alive if it weren't for you.
:Cueball: ...Oh God.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]

440: Road Rage

2014-05-30T22:11:00Z

Alanbbent: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 440
| date = June 23, 2008
| title = Road Rage
| image = road rage.png
| titletext = Okay, now just as the loss hits him, slam on the brakes.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Black Hat]] is driving a car, and [[Danish]] is with him in the passenger's seat. Black Hat gets annoyed because the car behind him is too close.

Danish decides to fight back, so she turns on her laptop and finds that the car behind them also has a laptop running. Since the cars are so close, the other laptop is well within WiFi range, so she manages to establish a WiFi connection with the laptop in the other car. Then, Danish finds a security hole (in the comic, a "remote exploit"). She uses it to break into the laptop and install a speech synthesizer.
This means that the laptop in the car behind just starts saying words at Danish's will.

The driver of the other car is puzzled when he starts hearing a voice. He's completely clueless about where the voice comes from. Also, he's driving alone so he's probably frightened (or nervous at least) to find that someone is speaking inside his car. The fact that the voice says "she'd be alive if it weren't for you" surely won't help him relax. The "psychological shot in the dark" is the gamble that this statement is especially meaningful and poignant to the driver.

In the title text, Danish is continuing her revenge, asking Black Hat to slam on the brakes. As it is now to be expected that the driver is nervous, puzzled and surprised on top of being distracted, looking for the voice's source, while already driving unsafely close, it is clear that Danish hopes he won't have enough stopping distance to avoid a collision, slamming into Black Hat's car. Since the blame for such types of accident is always given to the driver of the car behind, Black Hat will no doubt enjoy adding both the blame and the traffic accident on top of what Danish has already accomplished. This may seem ironic as Black Hat was annoyed to begin with, but he will rather make an example than avoid the accident.

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat is driving and Danish who seems to be his equal is in the passenger's seat. They are closely followed by some other vehicle.]
:Black Hat: That guy's tailgating me.
:Danish: I'll take a look.

:[A car is shown to be closely behind Black Hat's car.]
:Danish: His laptop's running, probably in the back seat. And... yup, the WiFi autoconnects.

:[Close-up of Danish using a laptop.]
:Danish: Now we just scan for remote exploits... install speech synth... And take a shot in the psychological dark.

:[Cueball's car.]
:Laptop: Hello.
:Cueball: What? Who's there?
:Laptop: She'd be alive if it weren't for you.
:Cueball: ...Oh God.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]

Talk:1359: Phone Alarm

2014-04-24T23:55:53Z

Alanbbent:

See also [[479: Tones]]. [[User:B jonas|B jonas]] ([[User talk:B jonas|talk]]) 06:06, 23 April 2014 (UTC)

I was just about to go hunt that one down for the explanation. Thanks B Jonas! [[User:Mrmakeit|Mrmakeit]] ([[User talk:Mrmakeit|talk]]) 06:13, 23 April 2014 (UTC)

I think it's safe to say that alarms give you some really weird dreams when you're too tired for them to actually wake you up. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.237.218|108.162.237.218]] 06:24, 23 April 2014 (UTC)

How do I keep screwing up his name. I guess that's what I get for writing an explanation at 2 in the morning. I'll get it right next time. [[User:Mrmakeit|Mrmakeit]] ([[User talk:Mrmakeit|talk]]) 07:03, 23 April 2014 (UTC)

I think I understand the title text -- the "worst person in the world" is a reference to the fact that when he picks up the phone to talk to whoever's "calling", all he gets is beeping in his ear, which makes for an awful "conversation".
:I red it as the caller being the wpitw because they called while Randall was trying to sleep. ''— [[User:Tbc|tbc]] ([[User talk:Tbc|talk]])''

However, I don't understand the "???" box or the reason why one of the arrows keeps looping in on itself, unless it's to show an eventuality where Randall doesn't wake up or ignores the phone?

Sometimes I think Randall likes to mess with us with obscure, trippy comics just so he can see us scramble to explain them using logical thought progressions. [[User:Enchantedsleeper|Enchantedsleeper]] ([[User talk:Enchantedsleeper|talk]]) 10:32, 23 April 2014 (UTC)
:I feel confident the "???" is referring to the initial confusion of any dream world (the first time around), followed by continued confusion of things "not working like they're supposed to" (which often happens in a dream world), especially when you hang up the phone and it keeps ringing but nobody's on the other side - [[User:Brettpeirce|Brettpeirce]] ([[User talk:Brettpeirce|talk]]) 12:20, 23 April 2014 (UTC)

I can't remember the comic number, but I feel like the title text might be a reference to the comic where he talks about pretending to be an expert in someone else's field and sees how long it takes them to notice. Talking to sociologists (I think) he says his latest work is in ranking people from best to worst. [[User:Athang|Athang]] ([[User talk:Athang|talk]]) 21:57, 23 April 2014 (UTC)

The comic you are thinking of is #451 http://www.xkcd.com/451/ [[User:Taibhse|Taibhse]] ([[User talk:Taibhse|talk]]) 22:34, 23 April 2014 (UTC)

Hi, I always though that the comic transcriptions were for the visually impaired, so the arrows on the left of this comic's transcript feels a bit off to me. Can we possibly replace them with textual explanations? Kind regards. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.92.231|141.101.92.231]] 12:37, 24 April 2014 (UTC)
: I am the original transcriber of this comic. My first attempt has, for reasons I don't understand, been reverted (strictly speaking, undented (flattened), thus making it ambiguous, which my version wasn't).
: I didn't and won't re-revert it, but I have come up with another layout, tabular this time (and unambiguous again, with one cell per field-arrow node, and with fields distinguished from arrows via HTML table headers vs. cells). Feel free to revert this one, too. {{unsigned ip|141.101.88.211}}

My interpretation of the WPITW comment is not that it's thought to be a prank call, but that the poor soul who answers the phone while dreaming may dream that they are receiving a phone call from, say, the Giraffe King, Future Morgan Freeman, the Worst Person in the World, etc. [[User:Alanbbent|Alanbbent]] ([[User talk:Alanbbent|talk]]) 23:55, 24 April 2014 (UTC)

526: Converting to Metric

2014-02-20T15:57:54Z

Alanbbent:

{{comic
| number = 526
| date = January 5, 2009
| title = Converting to Metric
| image = converting to metric.png
| titletext = According to River, "adequate" vacuuming systems drain the human body at about half a liter per second.
}}
{{incomplete|Many parts are still missing... Is it solved???}}
==Explanation==
Most people will eventually develop an intuitive feel for how big certain measurements are (e.g., how long an inch or a foot is, how much a pound weighs). This comic points out that people who were brought up using the {{w|Imperial measurement|imperial system}} probably don't have the same intuitive understanding for metric units and attempts to provide some benchmarks for these people. Most of the benchmarks are common sense, highly-useful ones (e.g., if it's 30 degrees centigrade, you'd be quite comfortable outside dressed for the beach) but some of the benchmarks are humorous and/or completely useless. Benchmarks include:

===Temperature===
* Various heat waves: {{w|Dubai}} is a city in the United Arab Emirates, and is smack-dab in the middle of an equatorial desert, so their heat waves can get ''hot!''. The southern Unites States will typically be a few degrees hotter than the northern United states simply because it's closer to the equator, but as mentioned they're both above "Beach Weather".
*-20⁠℃ - FuckFuckFuckCold and -30⁠℃ - Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!: This is basically what some people would say when they step outside at this temperature. At -30⁠℃, without taking wind chill into account, exposed skin will feel painful in under a minute and frostbite could begin in as little as ten minutes [http://www.ec.gc.ca/meteo-weather/default.asp?lang=En&n=5FBF816A-1].
*-40⁠℃ - Spit goes "clink": The temperature at which your spit would freeze ''before'' it hits the ground.

===Length===
*1 cm - Width of microSD card and 3cm - Length of SD card: Refers to the {{w|MicroSD card|memory cards}} used in cell phones, digital cameras, etc.
*1 m - {{w|Lightsaber|Lightsaber Blade}}: Refers the weapon used in the {{w|Star Wars}} movie franchise. Canonically, the length of a Lightsaber's blade varies greatly depending on the setting of the weapon, but "one meter" is by no means a bad approximation.
*170 cm - {{w|Summer Glau}}: Refers to the height of the actress who portrays the character River Tam on the TV show {{w|Firefly (TV series)|Firefly}}.
*200 cm - Darth Vader: Refers to the height of the main antagonist from Star Wars.
*16 m 4 cm - Human tower of Serenity crew: Again, this refers to the Firefly TV show, which takes place mostly on a space ship called Serenity. Presumably, if all the crew of Serenity were stacked on top of each other, this would be their combined height. The comic depicts four characters from the show standing on top of each other; the bottom figure is the crew's captain, {{w|Malcolm Reynolds}} in his signature coat.

===Speed===
*75 kph - 20 m/s - Raptor: It's a comic written by Randal, of course a reference to the raptors from ''Jurassic Park'' was going to be here.
*110 kph - 30 m/s - Interstate (65 MPH): Refers to the {{w|Interstate|American highway system}}.
*120 kph - 35 m/s - Speed you actually go when it says "65": People routinely break the aforementioned speed limit, and the police typically don't mind as long as it's not posing any danger. For the record, 120 kph is 74MPH.
*140 kph - 40 m/s - Raptor on Hoverboard: The Hoverboard is probably a reference to the ''Back to the Future'' series, though it's a fairly common trope in older science fiction stories.

===Volume===
*30 mL - Nasal Passages and 40mL - Shot Glass: The comic points out that you could just about fill a shot glass using the mucus from your nose. Since shot glasses are usually used for mixed drinks, the comic jokes that this mucus could constitute a new, disgusting drink.
*3 L - Two-liter bottle: Refers to a bottle which contains two liters (in the US usually soda). There is debate as to the reason for the discrepancy in volume.
*30 L - Milk Crate: Refers to a {{w|Milk crate|type of small box}} originally used to transport milk but now often in demand to be used as bicycle basket, storage spaces, etc.
*55 L - Summer Glau: Again, this refers to the actress from Firefly.
*65 L - {{w|Dennis Kucinich}}: An American politician belonging to the {{w|Democratic Party (United States)|Democratic party}}, noted for his relatively strong (for the US) leftist views.
*75 L - {{w|Ron Paul}}: An American politician belonging to the rival {{w|Republican Party (United States)|Republican party}}, noted for his strong rightist views. As hinted at in the comic, he, Kucinich and Glau would not get along at all well together trapped inside a fridge; but since their combined volume is less than that of a fridge, Cueball attempts to fit them all inside of one.

===Mass===
*3 g - {{w|M&M's|Peanut M&M}}: A small chocolate candy with a peanut inside
*5 kg - {{w|Lcd monitor|LCD Monitor}}: A modern flat-screen-style monitor.
*15 kg - {{w|CRT monitor|CRT Monitor}}: An older-style, cathode ray tube-based monitor.
*4 kg - Cat and 4.1 kg - Cat (With Caption): Refers to the internet's love of putting {{w|Lolcat|captions on cats}}. Usually, this is done in a graphics program, but here the cat is actually physically carrying around his caption. The "with caption" part is most likely a reference to [[262:_IN_UR_REALITY|Comic 262]], where [[Black Hat]] glues captions to cats, after running out of staples.
*150 kg - Shaq: {{w|Shaq|Shaquille O'Neal}}, a famously tall basketball player.
*200 kg - Your Mom, 220 kg - Your Mom (incl. cheap jewelry) and 223 kg - Your Mom (also incl. Makeup): Refers to a common type of {{w|Your mom|joking insult}} whereby someone insults someone else's mother in a creative way. Here, the comic slyly calls your mom fat and implies she wears way too much jewelry and almost 7 pounds of makeup.

The title text refers once again to Summer Glau's Firefly character, River, who (after being subjected to a long series of medical experiments) is severely mentally ill and often comes out with macabre—though scientifically accurate—pronouncements.

==Transcript==
:Guide to Converting to Metric
:The key to converting to metric is establishing new reference points. When you hear "26 degrees centigrade", instead of thinking "That's 79 degrees fahrenheit" you should think, "that's warmer then a house but cool for swimming." Here are some helpful tables of reference points:

:Temperature:
:60 degrees centigrade - Earth's Hottest
:45 degrees centigrade - Dubai Heat Wave
:40 degrees centigrade - Southern US Heat Wave
:35 degrees centigrade - Northern US Heat Wave
:30 degrees centigrade - Beach weather
:25 degrees centigrade - Warm Room
:20 degrees centigrade - Room Temperature
:10 degrees centigrade - Jacket Weather
:0 degrees centigrade - Snow!
:-5 degrees centigrade - Cold Day (Boston)
:-10 degrees centigrade - Cold Day (Moscow)
:-20 degrees centigrade - FuckFuckFuckCold
:-30 degrees centigrade - Fuuuuuuuuuuck!
:-40 degrees centigrade - Spit goes "clink"
:[Stick figure next to last three lines.]
:Man: ''Pthoo'' [Man spits.]
:Spit: ''Clink!'' [Spit bounces off ground.]

:Length
:1cm - Width of microSD card
:3cm - Length of SD card
:12cm - CD Diameter
:14cm - Penis
:15cm - BIC pen
:80cm - Doorway width
:1m - Lightsaber Blade
:170cm - Summer Glau
:200cm - Darth Vader
:2.5m - Ceiling
:5m - Car-length
:16m4cm - Human tower of Serenity crew
:[Human tower of Serenity crew stick figures depicted taking up from second line of panel to bottom.]

:Speed
:5 kph - 1.5 m/s - Walking
:13 kph - 3.5 m/s - Jogging
:25 kph - 7 m/s - Sprinting
:35 kph - 10 m/s - Fastest Human
:45 kph - 13 m/s - Housecat
:55 kph - 15 m/s - Rabbit
:75 kph - 20 m/s - Raptor
:100 kph - 25 m/s - Slow Highway
:110 kph - 30 m/s - Interstate (65 MPH)
:120 kph - 35 m/s - Speed you actually go when it says "65"
:140 kph - 40 m/s - Raptor on Hoverboard

:Volume
:3mL - Blood in a fieldmouse
:5mL - Teaspoon
:30mL - Nasal Passages
:40mL - Shot Glass
:So when it's blocked, the mucus in your nose could about fill a shot glass.
:[Image of a shot glass.] Related: I've invented the worst mixed drink ever.
:350mL - Soda Can
:500mL - Water Bottle
:3L - Two-Liter Bottle
:5L - Blood in a Human Male
:30L - Milk Crate
:55L - Summer Glau
:65L - Dennis Kucinich
:75L - Ron Paul
:200L - Fridge
:[Cueball shoving Ron Paul, Summer Glau, and Dennis Kucinich into fridge.]
:[Above fridge, circled, is 55+65+75<200]

:Mass
:3g - Peanut M&M
:100g - Cell Phone
:500g - Bottled Water
:1kg - Ultraportable Laptop
:2kg - Light-Medium Laptop
:3kg - Heavy Laptop
:5kg - LCD Monitor
:15kg - CRT Monitor
:4kg - Cat [Drawing of cat.]
:4.1kg - Cat (With Caption) [Drawing of cat, going "Mrowl?", and holding a caption.]
:60kg - Lady
:70kg - Dude
:150kg - Shaq
:[Stick figure of Megan and Cueball beside previous 3 lines.]
:200kg - Your Mom
:220kg - Your Mom (incl. cheap jewelry)
:223kg - Your Mom (also incl. Makeup)

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

1162: Log Scale

2014-02-19T18:18:26Z

Alanbbent:

{{comic
| number = 1162
| date = January 18, 2013
| title = Log Scale
| image = log scale.png
| titletext = Knuth Paper-Stack Notation: Write down the number on pages. Stack them. If the stack is too tall to fit in the room, write down the number of pages it would take to write down the number. THAT number won't fit in the room? Repeat. When a stack fits, write the number of iterations on a card. Pin it to the stack.
}}

==Explanation==
Uranium is stated to have 76 million MJ/kg, while the next highest material shown on the graph (gasoline) has 46 MJ/kg. Thus the uranium graph should be taller by a factor of 76,000,000/46 = 1.652 million. So, if the gasoline graph were 9mm in height, the uranium graph should be a bit more than 14.868 million mm tall, or nearly 15 km (9.2 miles) tall. Thus the need to fold the paper.

A {{w|Logarithmic scale|log scale}} is a way of showing largely unequal data sizes in a comprehensible way, using an exponential function between each notch on the y axis of a graph. So for example the first on a Y axis of a graph using a log-10-scale would be 1, then 10, then 100 and 1000 for the fourth. A {{w|logarithm|log/logarithmic function}} is the {{w|inverse function|inverse}} of a corresponding {{w|Exponential growth|exponential function}}.

The log scale can also be abused to make data look more uniform than it really is. On a log scale the energy density of uranium would look larger than that of the other materials, but not dramatically so. The joke is that if one wanted to make their point "properly," they would go ahead and use ridiculous amounts of paper to show the difference between bars using a non-logarithmic scale; this method would focus more on the shock factor of the differences in question, and less on actual communication/representation of data. Cueball seems to be passionate about the MJ/kg of uranium, so he would rather demonstrate the grandeur of the data than use a more efficient scale.

See {{w|Logarithmic_scale#Example_scales|these examples}} for well known day-to-day measurements which are measured on a log-scale.

Using paper thickness as the basis for a log scale would give the exponential function a very large base.

The title text mentions computer scientist {{w|Donald Knuth}}; the fictional notation is a parody of {{w|Knuth's up-arrow notation}}.

==Transcript==

[A bar chart showing fuel energy density of different materials in megajoules/kg.]

Sugar: 19, Coal: 24, Fat: 39, Gasoline: 46, Uranium 76,000,000

[The uranium bar on the chart goes off the page onto a huge strip of paper folded up into a tall stack, with Cueball shown for scale.]

Science Tip: Log scales are for quitters who can't find enough paper to make their point *properly*.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Physics]]

1332: Slippery Slope

2014-02-19T18:08:17Z

Alanbbent:

{{comic
| number = 1332
| date = February 19, 2014
| title = Slippery Slope
| image = slippery_slope.png
| titletext = Sure, taking a few seconds to be respectful toward someone about something they care about doesn't sound hard. But if you talk to hundreds of people every day and they all start expecting that same consideration, it could potentially add up to MINUTES wasted. And for WHAT?
}}

==Explanation==
The "{{w|Slippery slope}}" fallacy hinges on the idea that if A happens, then B will follow as a minor but expected consequence. B will lead on to C, C leads onto D, and so on. Each consequence gets progressively worse until you reach Z, presumably an extremely undesirable situation. A slippery slope fallacy intends to argue that A should not be allowed, because if it does then this chain of consequences will lead to Z, the extremely undesirable event. For example, one might argue that cannabis should be downgraded to a Class C drug. Someone trying to invoke a slippery slope argument, meanwhile, may argue that relaxing the drug classification will lead to people becoming less cautious around drugs, which will lead to people using more drugs, which will lead to increased health problems, which will place a greater strain on the country's health services, etc. The arguer would then claim that with this imagined chain of consequences as a plausible outcome, it would be a bad idea to relax the cannabis classification.

This kind of reasoning can be bad if it distracts from the issue being discussed and changes the topic to an extreme event which may not happen because of other factors. In the comic, White Hat Guy uses a slippery slope argument to justify being inconsiderate to people (which is an unusual context for this fallacy). He argues that if he expends minor effort being considerate to one person, he will be expected to be considerate to everyone he meets, which - he wishes to argue - is an extremely undesirable consequence. Thus, he justifies being inconsiderate as avoiding the slippery slope. This idea is extended in the title text, where he continues extrapolating the train of thought to come to the conclusion that minutes of time would be "wasted" - he seems not to factor in the potential positive effects of being considerate of other people.

==Transcript==
:[White Hat talking to Cueball.]
:White Hat: Yeah, but if I'm considerate toward one person about one thing, what's next?
:White Hat: Being nice to ''other'' people about ''other'' things?
:White Hat: Where does it ''end?''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Logic]]

244: Tabletop Roleplaying

2014-01-03T23:48:56Z

Alanbbent: Some grammar/formatting fixes, plus removed the line about Scheme; seemed superfluous

{{comic
| number = 244
| date = April 4, 2007
| title = Tabletop Roleplaying
| image = tabletop roleplaying.png
| titletext = I may have also tossed one of a pair of teleportation rings into the ocean, with interesting results.
}}

==Explanation==

Four people are playing a role-playing game. Megan is the game master (GM), describing the adventure and what happens. The other people control imaginary characters in the game. Cueball attempts to have his character lead other characters in the imaginary construction of dice and gaming sheets. This would allow his character to become the GM of a new game inside the game they're currently playing. "Recursing" refers to "recursion," a concept of computer programming where a piece of code calls itself, essentially making the code run multiple times "within" itself. Looping is a rudimentary form of recursion.

The title text refers to a pair of fictional rings, each about two feet in diameter. Anything passing through one gets teleported instantly to the other, as if the two rings were next to each other. There's an old gamer theory that, if you drop one of the rings in the ocean, water will naturally pass through it and out the other ring, potentially draining the entire ocean, or at least creating a perpetual seawater fountain out of the other ring. And if you teleported one ring directly to the bottom of the ocean, the amount of pressure pushing the water through would cause a gigantic, never-ending torrent, obliterating anything placed in its path. That idea is drawn out in [[969: Delta-P]].

==Transcript==
:[Four people sit around a table.]
:Megan: Your party enters the tavern.
:Cueball: I gather everyone around a table. I have the elves start whittling dice and get out some parchment for character sheets.
:Megan: Hey, no recursing.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball‏]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Recursion]]

784: Falling Asleep

2013-12-16T19:45:54Z

Alanbbent:

{{comic
| number =784
| date =August 25, 2010
| title =Falling Asleep
| image =falling_asleep.png
| titletext =Sweet unintersecting dreams!
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete}}
The first few panels of this strip seem romantic and sentimental, as it's common to hear that people sleep better next to people they love. The last panel reveals that Cueball and Megan are actually going through some relationship trouble, because Cueball looks forward to using dreams as an escape away from her.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball gets into bed.]
:It's so much easier
:falling asleep

:[Megan is lying in bed, gripping her pillow.]
:With you beside me-

:[Cueball is lying on his back in bed.]
:All the incentive I need

:[Full shot of the bed, Megan is on the left, gripping the pillow, Cueball is as far to the right as possible, nearly falling off, facing away from her.]
:To leave the world behind.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Romance]]

321: Thighs

2013-12-16T16:37:45Z

Alanbbent: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 321
| date = September 26, 2007
| title = Thighs
| image = Thighs.png
| titletext = My thighs have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete}}
In each panel, Cueball sings a line from a different song ({{w|Survivor (band)|Survivor}}'s "{{w|Eye of the Tiger}}", {{w|Dean Martin}}'s "{{w|That's Amore}}", and {{w|Van Morrison}}'s "{{w|Brown Eyed Girl}}"), replacing the word "eye" in each with the word "thigh". The joke seems to be how vastly different each song's meaning becomes when "eye" is replaced with "thigh." It's probable, in the last panel, that Megan's "ewww" refers to the fact that brown thighs would be eminently possible via an act of poor defecation on oneself.

The title text references the first line of {{w|The Battle Hymn of the Republic}}, and is a sex joke, playing on the word coming, which in this case could mean either arrival or ejaculation.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball singing, Megan at computer]
:Cueball: It's the thigh of the tiger
:Cueball: When the moon hits your thigh like a big pizza pie, that's amore.
:Cueball: She's my brown-thighed girl.
:Megan: Don't you have a job or something?
:Megan: Also, Eww.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Songs]]

240: Dream Girl

2013-12-04T16:24:03Z

Alanbbent: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 240
| date = March 26, 2007
| title = Dream Girl
| image = dream girl.png
| titletext = No matter how elaborately you fool yourself.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|The comic was changed after the date mentioned within it; the last speech bubble was different.}}
The comic itself is pretty self-explanatory; Cueball had a very emotional dream.

This comic is a commentary on people who dream, daydream, and wish for things to happen, commonly in a romantic context. In the comic, Cueball dreams of a girl who gives him a time and a place, and the last panel implies that he went to that place at the given time, but did not find the girl. The strip builds up hope and anticipation that this supernaturally romantic reunion will occur, but grounds the reader with the last line of the comic and the title text.

The coordinates of the note lead to [http://maps.google.com/maps?q=42.39561+-71.13051&hl=en&ll=42.395612,-71.130509&spn=0.001549,0.002642&sll=32.907845,-96.605711&sspn=0.159394,0.338173&t=h&z=19 Reverend Thomas J. Williams Park in Cambridge, MA, USA]. The time on the note, September 23, 2007, was about six months ''after'' the publishing of this comic. One hundred eighty-one days, to be exact.

Notably, [http://thephoenix.com/Boston/News/48208-wisdom-of-crowds/ several hundred xkcd fans met up at that very time and place]. Randall also visited the meetup, and was recorded as saying "Maybe wanting something does make it real."

==Transcript==
:Cueball: I had a dream that I met a girl in a dying world.

:It was all coming apart. Hairline cracks in reality widened to yawning chasms. Everything was going dark and light all at once, and there was a sound like breaking waves rising into a piercing scream at the edge of hearing. I knew we didn't have long together.

:She grabbed me and spoke a stream of numbers into my ear. Then it all went away.
:[A girl grabs him as the edges of the panel crack and tear.]

:I woke up. The memory of the apocalypse faded to mere fancy, but the numbers burned bright in my mind. I wrote them down right away.
:[A note reads: 42.39561 -71.13051 2007 09 23 14 38 00.]
:They were coordinates. A place and a time, neither one too far away.

:Cueball: What else could I do? When the day came, I went to the spot and waited.

:Friend: ...and?
:Cueball: It turns out wanting something doesn't make it real.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Romance]]

User:Alanbbent

2013-11-22T23:52:05Z

Alanbbent: Created page with "alanbbent is my yahoo email address. Feel free to email if you disagree with any edits, etc."

alanbbent is my yahoo email address. Feel free to email if you disagree with any edits, etc.

Talk:761: DFS

2013-11-22T23:49:39Z

Alanbbent: Created page with "I'm curious about the half-cut-off options in each panel. The first looks like '[something] eating contest,' the second looks like 'tracheal [something],' and the third looks ..."

I'm curious about the half-cut-off options in each panel. The first looks like '[something] eating contest,' the second looks like 'tracheal [something],' and the third looks like 'coral snake.' [[User:Alanbbent|Alanbbent]] ([[User talk:Alanbbent|talk]]) 23:49, 22 November 2013 (UTC)

530: I'm An Idiot

2013-11-22T23:40:55Z

Alanbbent: just being a grammar nazi

{{comic
| number = 530
| date = January 14, 2009
| title = I'm an Idiot
| image = im an idiot.png
| titletext = Sadly, this is a true story. At least I learned about the OS X 'say' command.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|1253: Exoplanet Names}}

[[Cueball]], locked out of his dorm/apartment, is trying to get his roommate's attention so that she'll unlock the door. He tries various ways of contacting her: calling her cell phone, {{w|IRC}}, the window, and SSH'ing into their downstairs Mac computer to make it shout at her. [[Ponytail]] informs him of the most obvious solution — the doorbell, which prompts a moment of realization. The content of this realization–"I'm An Idiot"–is stated in the title of the comic. The humor of the comic derives from the rhythm of the panels [a long buildup followed by a short quip, then a pause for the implied moment of realization].

The humor of this comic also derives from the reader's familiarity with the behavior shown in the comic, since most every person who likes solving problems has experienced a moment of realization similar to Cueball's at one point or another. They, like Cueball, get distracted by solving an interesting problem [[356: Nerd Sniping |''because solving problems is fun'']], and fail to notice that the problem has an easier solution that they haven't noticed. This same issue of getting lost in a sub-problem [in this case, the-sub problem of how to remotely control text-to-speech in OS X] at the expense of overall problem-solving ability is further covered in [[761: DFS]].

The alt-text of the comic mentions that, although missing an obvious solution can be humiliating, one often learns a lot from trying new solutions, which would explain why the behavior persists.

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail approaches Cueball, who is sitting on porch steps, laptop in lap and backpack open.]
:Ponytail: Should I ask?
:Cueball: I'm locked out, and I'm trying to get my roommate to let me in.

:[Unplugged cell phone on table.]
:Cueball: First I tried her cell phone, but it's off.

:[Cueball sitting on steps, laptop in lap and gesturing.]
:Cueball: Then I tried IRC, but she's not online.

:[Cueball standing in front of house and looking up at window.]
:Cueball: I couldn't find anything to throw at her window,

:[Living room with couch easy chair and computer set up.]
:Cueball: So I SSH'd into the Mac Mini in the living room and got the speech synth to yell at her for me.
:Computer: Hey I'm locked out downstairs

:[Megan sitting at table with laptop open.]
:Cueball: But I think I left the volume way down, so I'm reading the OS X docs to learn to set the volume via command line.

:[Ponytail facing Cueball, who is still sitting on the porch with his laptop.]
:Ponytail: Ah.
:Ponytail: I take it the doorbell doesn't work?

:[Ponytail remains in place, Cueball tilts head back slightly, as if staring in realization.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Computers]]

520: Cuttlefish

2013-11-22T23:38:14Z

Alanbbent: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 520
| date = December 22, 2008
| title = Cuttlefish
| image = cuttlefish.png
| titletext = Unless the CS students finish the robot revolution before you finish the cephalopod one.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete}}
This comic references multiple themes:

1) The Cephalopods' Revolution, with their many appendages, distance communication, mimicry and camouflage, presents the greatest threat to mankind out of all the classes of animals. The {{w|cuttlefish}} is a Cephalopod. It is also slightly ironic to be attacked by a cuttlefish, because it sounds like 'cuddle fish'.

2) There is some rivalry among the main branches of science, with various statements meant to show one's branch to be superior or more important and deserved of funding than others.

3) The title text - CS stands for Computer science. The "robot revolution" references events in film, such as Terminator and The Matrix, as well as literature (Asimov's "I, Robot"), wherein robots, having become commonplace in the workforce, achieve independent thought and declare war on humanity.

Randall jokes that each branch of science/research is working toward their own world domination scheme, centered on their specific science. In the comic, Randall attempts to befriend biology majors so that he will be spared during their takeover of the world, but in the title text he reveals that he only wishes to side with whatever group achieves world domination first.

==Transcript==
:We visit a bio lab: [Cueball and Megan visit a bio lab where they look into a tank that the scientists point at.]
:Scientist: These are cuttlefish.
:[Image of a cuttlefish.]
:Scientist: They're frighteningly smart, have manipulating arms and tentacles, have ink jets, can dart backwards and see the polarization of light through their w-shaped pupils. And their sides are 200 dpi display screens which they use for camouflage and communication.
:Scientist: When we realized how intelligent they were, we began to teach them. They've advanced quickly. Cuttlefish: GO.
:[Cuttlefish float out of the tank at Cueball and Megan.]
:Cuttlefishes: Kill the physicists... kill the physicists
:[Cuttlefish zap Cueball and Megan as they fall.]
:[Cueball waking up from his sleep.]
:Cueball: Oh god. I knew it.
:XKCD{{sic}}
:Salutes Bio Majors
:[Bottle is pouring into a flask, and a man takes the flask and drinks from it.]
:If we join you against the chemists, will you train your fleshy minions to leave us alive?

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Chemistry]]
[[Category:Biology]]

489: Going West

2013-11-22T23:23:31Z

Alanbbent: added explanation of title text

{{comic
| number = 489
| date = October 15, 2008
| title = Going West
| image = going_west.png
| titletext = Listen, they request that you stop submitting a listing for your house labeled 'WHERE YOU BROKE MY HEART'.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete}}
Google Maps is a service to let people look at the world through their web browser. When Google Maps was first starting out, the maximum zoom level a person could select went past the highest resolution imagery available in certain areas. When this happened, Google Maps would tile the message "We're sorry, but we don't have imagery at this zoom level". When Cueball looks "closely" enough into Megan's eyes, he sees this same message.

The title text refers to a functionality of Google Maps that allows users to submit/update information about places on the map, such as business listings, monuments, etc. Such updates must be approved by Google before other users can see them. Apparently, Cueball has been repeatedly submitting 'WHERE YOU BROKE MY HEART' as a listing for his own house, so that Megan, who is now on the Google Maps team, will see those submissions.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are talking, and Cueball is walking away from Megan. Megan is holding an open envelope.]
:Megan: I'm sorry. The Google Maps team hired me.
:Cueball: But I can't move to California!
:Megan: Then I guess this is the end.
:Cueball: It can't be! ... Listen.
:[Cueball is holding Megan's hands in his.]
:Cueball: When I look deep into your eyes, I see a future for us.
:Megan: Look deeper.
:[Cueball looks deeper into Megan's eyes.]
:Cueball: "We're sorry, but we don't have imagery at this zoom level"?
:Cueball: They... they have you already.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

145: Parody Week: Dinosaur Comics

2013-11-20T16:45:19Z

Alanbbent:

{{comic
| number = 145
| date = August 18, 2006
| title = Parody Week: Dinosaur Comics
| image = dinosaur_comics.png
| titletext = Guys: while I was writing this, I accidentally swallowed a table-size slab of drywall. I know! Wacky.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete}}
[http://qwantz.com/index.php Dinosaur Comics] ({{w|Dinosaur Comics|wikipedia article}}) is a webcomic by Ryan North. The artwork never changes, save a few rare exceptions, and only the dialogue is different. [[Randall]] has borrowed the usual artwork and font.

For those who don't read it, [http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1387 here's] a typical strip.

Randall makes several shots at recurring themes in Dinosaur Comics. T-Rex (the green dinosaur) is bold and enthusiastic, discussing various topics, a favorite of which appears to be linguistics. Dromiceiomimus, the white dinosaur in the third panel, usually responds calmly to T-Rex's discussions. Utahraptor, the orange dinosaur, typically contradicts T-Rex, but Randall subverts this pattern and has him agree. The comic suggests that the perpetual disagreement stems from a 'rift' in the author's mind, which would be healed if only he lived in a world where there were a land bridge between Asia and North America.

Just like xkcd, Dinosaur Comics also has title texts. Ryan's title texts tend to be bizarre non-sequiturs, and the title text in the parody seems to be a riff on this.

This comic is a part of the Parody Week, just joking about other webcomics.
*[[Parody Week: Achewood]]
*[[Parody Week: Megatokyo]]
*[[Parody Week: TFD and Natalie Dee]]
*[[Parody Week: A Softer World]]
*'''Parody Week: Dinosaur Comics'''

==Transcript==
:T-Rex: THINGS I AM UPPITY ABOUT: "They" as a third-person singular gender-free pronoun.
:T-Rex: I'm all for it!
:Dromiceiomimus: But isn't that terrible grammar?
:T-Rex: Only by recent convention! It's been in use that way for centuries, and its use is widely accepted! ALSO: this lets us avoid ridiculous constructs like "he/she", "s/he", "xe" or "hirs"!
:Utahraptor: T-Rex, I... agree.
:T-Rex: What?
:Utahraptor: That sounds good to me!
:Utahraptor: Normally I'd jump in with an objection, but I think your point makes sense.
:T-Rex: Could it be that the rift in our author's mind has finally healed? Is he no longer locked in perpetual war with the self-doubt that lurks in his subc-
:Narrator: '''IN A WORLD WHERE THERE IS STILL A LAND BRIDGE BETWEEN ASIA AND NORTH AMERICA FOR SOME REASON:'''
:T-Rex: -onscious?
:Narrator: '''ALSO HOW ABOUT IN THIS WORLD EVERYONE IS BICURIOUS'''

==Trivia==
*The topic of gender-neutral pronouns has been [http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2079 specifically covered] in Dinosaur Comics, five years after this parody.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]

83: Katamari

2013-11-20T16:15:26Z

Alanbbent:

{{comic
| number = 83
| date = March 31, 2006
| title = Katamari
| image = katamari.jpg
| titletext = As the King of All Cosmos remarked, 'Is it that it's fun, or that it lets you forget yourself?'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete}}
{{w|Katamari Damacy}} is a Japanese game in which the player must roll around an infinitely sticky katamari ball, cottoning up objects and terrain to increase the ball's size. In this comic, [[Cueball]] uses the katamari as an analogy for his love for [[Megan]], pushing it to such embarrassing extremes that Megan feels the need to remark whether he could "possibly get any gayer." At this point, Cueball wins the level he is playing and is transported by a "Royal Rainbow," an in-game occurrence at the completion of each level. The rainbow is a symbol of gay pride, in addition to being just a generally happy and "gay" idea.

Cueball also only takes up such a stand after Megan requests that he help her. This possibly a criticism of male selfishness (perhaps Randall's self-criticism), in that males do not discuss romantic ideas, except as a way out.

The King of All Cosmos, mentioned in the title text, is an instructive character in all of the Katamari games.

==Transcript==
:[Megan stands on the left. Cueball is sitting on the floor with a game controller in his hand. He is looking at a TV on the floor connected to a game console, also on the floor.]
:Megan: Can you pause for a moment and help me with something?
:Cueball: You know, our love is like a katamari. We travel along, rolling up more and more of the world into our shared experience, taking it and making it our own.
:Megan: I, you... wow. Geekiness aside, that was actually incredibly sweet.
:Cueball: The clutter of everyday life, with a simple core to tie it together, eventually becomes something grand as the world itself.
:[A rainbow extends outward from the TV, with "ROYAL RAINBOW!" above it.]
:Megan: Okay, also sweet, but now I'm wondering if you could possibly get any gayer.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Video games]]

475: Further Boomerang Difficulties

2013-11-20T15:59:40Z

Alanbbent:

{{comic
| number = 475
| date = September 12, 2008
| title = Further Boomerang Difficulties
| image = further_boomerang_difficulties.png
| titletext = An eternity later, the universe having turned out to have positive curvature and lots of mass, the boomerang hits him in the back of the head.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|The positive curvature belongs to Einstein's theory of general relativity.}}
This comic is a sequel of sorts to [[445: I Am Not Good with Boomerangs]], as it deals with the same subject manner with the same panel layout.

The first strip shows [[Cueball]] throwing a boomerang, which doesn't come back. It's implied to have come back to either him or another one like in [[939: Arrow]].

Then he throws another boomerang, which somehow hurts the {{w|ozone layer}} (as indicated by an offscreen voice).

The third strip shows Cueball throwing something what ''appears'' to be a boomerang, but then [[Megan]] appears and reveals that it was their last banana.

The final strip shows Cueball throwing one last boomerang, which breaks the frame of the comic. The next panel shows that he was actually inside a spacecraft (which resembles an [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollo_Lunar_Module Apollo Lunar Module]), and the boomerang has broken out through the hull. We see him tumbling out into space with the escaping air.

The title text notes that the boomerang would return and hit him in the back of the head thanks to the universe's {{w|curvature}} and {{w|mass}}.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is throwing boomerang.]
:[Holding his hands up.]
:[Cueball waits for return; continual waiting.]
:[Cueball is dejected, head hangs low.]

:[Cueball throws boomerang.]
:[Cueball waits for boomerang.]
:Outside: Oh God
:Outside: The Ozone layer!
:[Cueball is surprised.]

:[Cueball throws boomerang banana.]
:[Cueball waits.]
:[Megan walks in.]
:Megan: That was our last banana.
:Megan: You're such an asshole.
:[Cueball throws boomerang.]
:[Boomerang breaks out of the panel box.]

:[Boomerang breaks out of a spacecraft, followed by Cueball.]

==Trivia==
*Part of this comic and [[939: Arrow]] is the picture for the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BrickJoke Brick Joke] page on TV Tropes.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Boomerangs]]