explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

3230: Overton

2026-04-08T18:37:31Z

Amateurautist:

{{comic
| number = 3230
| date = April 8, 2026
| title = Overton
| image = overton_2x.png
| imagesize = 242x268px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I think I accidentally installed an Overton window in my bedroom. A few months ago, the sun wasn't in my face in the morning, but now it is.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
[A gravestone is shown on some grass, bearing the name Joseph Paul Overton as its inscription; several of the years are crossed out and replaced with new years underneath in red.]

1960 - 2003

1965 - 2011

1973 - 2018

1982 -

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

1449: Red Rover

2026-04-07T16:58:16Z

Amateurautist: /* Explanation */ copyedit

{{comic
| number = 1449
| date = November 19, 2014
| title = Red Rover
| image = red_rover.png
| titletext = I just learned about the Slide Mountain Ocean, which I like because it's three nouns that sound like they can't possibly all refer to the same thing.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic shows what the landmasses of {{w|Pangaea}} were hypothesized to have looked like when it had "just" broken up in the late {{w|Triassic}} Period (roughly 200 million years ago). "Shortly" after the separation of Pangaea the two {{w|Supercontinent|supercontinents}} {{w|Laurasia}} (northern supercontinent) and {{w|Gondwana}} (southern supercontinent) formed. After this, {{w|continental drift}}, the process by which landmasses moving over the Earth's mantle collide and separate, brought them into the configuration we see today.

The top map shows the landmass Laurasia declaring, "Red rover, red rover, send India over!" as if the continents were playing the game {{w|Red Rover}}. In the second map we can see how Gondwana actually sends over the {{w|Indian subcontinent}} to Laurasia.

In the game of Red Rover, the aim is for an individual to charge into the opposing team who are holding hands, and attempt to cause a break in the human chain. If the individual succeeds, they take one of the opposing team's members back to their own team. If the chain doesn't break, the individual joins that team.

In the game portrayed here, an isolated landmass (India in contemporary geography), is the individual charging towards the Laurasian landmass, attempting to break through. We know of course that India failed in this attempt, and as per the games rules joined the Laurasia 'team'. This part of the supercontinent later developed in to {{w|Asia}}.

It is accepted that the {{w|Himalayas}}, the highest elevated mountain range on earth, formed by the collision of India into what is now Asia. For various reasons, the movement of the Indian plate from its location in Gondwana 90 million years ago to its impact point with the rest of Asia 50 million years ago was extremely rapid (as plate movements go) at about 20 cm per year.

The idea that the landmasses on Earth are sentient and moving about in an incredibly slow game of Red Rover, with India's rapid movement being a result of being "called over", is not one which is currently scientifically accepted{{Citation needed}}.

The title text refers to the {{w|Slide Mountain Ocean}}, which was located between the {{w|Intermontane Islands}} and North America in the Triassic period beginning around 245 million years ago. The name interests [[Randall]] because oceans (bodies of water), mountains (land masses), and slides (playground equipment) are mutually exclusive concepts when using the most common definitions. In this case, however, "slide" is short for "{{w|landslide}}" which is a common feature of mountains. [https://web.archive.org/web/20150327001758/http://travelingluck.com/North+America/Canada/British+Columbia/_6149492_Slide+Mountain.html Slide Mountain] is a particular mountain in {{w|British Columbia}}, the result of the remnant of the Slide Mountain {{w|List of tectonic plates#Tertiary plates|microplate}} which {{w|Accretion (geology)|accreted}} onto the continent, becoming the {{w|Slide Mountain Terrane}}, as the majority of the microplate was {{w|Subduction|subducted}}. "Slide Mountain Ocean" refers to the sea between the Slide Mountain microplate before it was subducted under what is now North America.

==Transcript==
:[Two maps of Earth at different points in continental formation, one above the other.]
:[In the top map (roughly -165 Ma) the two largest continents are labeled:]
:Laurasia
:Gondwana
:[A speech bubble is shown next to Laurasia.]
:Laurasia: Red Rover, Red Rover, send India over!
:[The bottom map (roughly -130 Ma, but with India at -60) show the land mass that would become India moving, with motion lines, toward Laurasia.]
:[Below the maps:]
:How the Himalayas formed

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Geography]]
[[Category:Geology]]

3228: Day Counter

2026-04-03T13:48:13Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */ revamped the transcript for clarity

{{comic
| number = 3228
| date = April 3, 2026
| title = Day Counter
| image = day_counter_2x.png
| imagesize = 319x287px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = It has been −2,147,483,648 days since our last integer overflow.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created -.000000000000000032 days ago. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
{{w|Floating-point arithmetic|Floating point numbers}} are numbers stored in a computer as {{w|Scientific Notation}}, rounded to fit. They are often used for decimal numbers, where storing the full number with all decimal places would result in using much space. However, the rounding required to use these numbers can result in rounding errors, which can cause a fair amount of trouble, especially when comparing them or printing them to a screen in a human readable format.

This is shown in the comic, where a counter is shown of days since there was last a floating point error. However, the amount of time has been changed from a floating point & back, creating the ridiculous illusion that -0.00000000000000044 days have passed, which implies a 'negative' number of days, which is impossible{{cn}}. It also, even if it was a positive number, would mean less than a microsecond had passed since the last error, which would be an unfeasably short amount of time. Of course, the joke is that in making the sign showing the amount of time since a floating point error was last made, they are creating a floating point error, meaning the sign is invalid. Also, if they tried to reset the sign, they might make the same error again, repeating the cycle over & over, which would not be ideal.

Coincidentally enough, [[Cueball]] is also floating - off his seat in this case. The seat itself looks the same as the chair in [[2144]], possibly meaning making people levitate is one of it's numerous settings.

Floating point errors are particularly common in programming, specially in languages that implicitly convert decimal numbers to binary floating point, so an approximation is already made at conversion leading to unexpected results. The title text cites another common programming problem, integer overflow. When a value gets bigger than the biggest integer that can be represented in a certain format, it "warps around" to the smallest value. In case of 32-bit signed integers this value is -2^-31, that is −2,147,483,648.

The dropdown menu beneath the comic allows the user to select different "modes". These include the typical "Light mode" and "Dark mode", but also includes some atypical modes such as "Dorian Greyscale Mode" which gradually turns the page darker shades of grey to simulate aging as in the 1890 Oscar Wilde story "The Picture of Dorian Gray".

==Transcript==
[White Hat, Ponytail, Cueball, and Megan are all below a large sign. White Hat and Ponytail appear to be discussing something, while Cueball is sitting at his desk working on a laptop and Megan is walking away. The sign has text on it, as well as a large display presumably meant to show a number.]

:[Sign:] It has been
:[Display:] -0.00000000000000044
:[Sign:] days since our last floating point error

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>[[Category:Interactive comics]][[Category:Dynamic comics]]

3226: Home Solar

2026-03-31T00:58:36Z

Amateurautist:

{{comic
| number = 3226
| date = March 30, 2026
| title = Home Solar
| image = home_solar_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x258px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = "While I try to do my part to destroy the environment, I try not to focus too much on individual responsibility. By pushing for broad policy changes, we can collectively do far more damage to the biosphere than any of us could on our own."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by HARMING THE ENVIRONMENT. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
Black Hat and Cueball are outside Black Hat's house (presumably) discussing the solar panels he has recently installed on the roof. Cueball asks why he has done this, as he claims Black Hat has described himself as anti-renewable. Black Hat responds that, as much as he'd prefer an option that harmed the planet more, solar power is simply the cheapest option and his budget is incapable of supporting anything else.

Black Hat in the end claims that he can try to 'make up for this' by buying industrial waste with the saved money and burning it in his backyard. Cueball responds with a knowing comment about 'carbon onsets'. This is a play on carbon ''offsets'', certificates won for lowering one's carbon footprint.

The title text is a spin on standard environmentalist slogans from the perspective of Black Hat, showing how excited he is for systematic change for the worse. Black Hat believes (and is correct in that) policy change can make a bigger difference then just him burning industrial waste.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
:[Black Hat and Cueball stand next to a house with solar panels on the roof.]
:Cueball: Wait, you got solar panels? I thought you were against renewables.
:[Zoom to show only Cueball and Black Hat.]
:Black Hat: Oh, definitely. I hate the environment and want to harm it as much as possible.
:Black Hat: I'd '''''love''''' to have an oil furnace.
:[Zoom in on Black Hat; only his head and shoulders are visible.]
:Black Hat: But the technology just isn't there and the cost is too high.
:Black Hat: I despise solar, but it makes more financial sense in my situation.
:[Zoom out to show Cueball and Black Hat again.]
:Black Hat: But with the money I'm saving, I can buy and burn industrial waste in my yard to try to make up for it.
:Cueball: Ah, yeah, carbon onsets.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

3226: Home Solar

2026-03-31T00:57:01Z

Amateurautist: copyedits

{{comic
| number = 3226
| date = March 30, 2026
| title = Home Solar
| image = home_solar_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x258px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = "While I try to do my part to destroy the environment, I try not to focus too much on individual responsibility. By pushing for broad policy changes, we can collectively do far more damage to the biosphere than any of us could on our own."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by HARMING THE ENVIRONMENT. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
Black Hat and Cueball are outside Black Hat's house (presumably) discussing the solar panels he has recently installed on the roof. Cueball asks why he has done this, as he claims Black Hat has described himself as anti-renewable. Black Hat responds that, as much as he'd prefer an option that harmed the planet more, solar power is simply the cheapest option and his budget is incapable of supporting anything else.

Black Hat in the end claims that he can try to 'make up for this' by buying industrial waste with the saved money and burning it in his backyard. Cueball responds with a knowing comment about 'carbon onsets'. This is a play on carbon ''offsets'', certificates won for lowering one's carbon footprint.

The title text is a spin on standard environmentalist slogans from the perspective of Black Hat, showing how excited he is for systematic change for the worse. Black Hat believes (and is correct in that) policy change can make a bigger difference then just him burning industrial waste.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
:[Black Hat and Cueball stand next to a house with solar panels on the roof]
:Cueball: Wait, you got solar panels? I thought you were against renewables.
:[Black Hat and Cueball are still discussing]
:Black Hat: Oh, definitely. I hate the environment and want to harm it as much as possible.
:Black Hat: I'd '''''love''''' to have an oil furnace.
:[Zoom on Black Hat]
:Black Hat: But the technology just isn't there and the cost is too high.
:Black Hat: I despise solar, but it makes more financial sense in my situation.
:[Return to previous zoom]
:Black Hat: But with the money I'm saving, I can buy and burn industrial waste in my yard to try to make up for it.
:Cueball: Ah, yeah, carbon onsets.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

3223: Inflation Timeline

2026-03-24T15:48:06Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 3223
| date = March 23, 2026
| title = Inflation Timeline
| image = inflation_timeline_2x.png
| imagesize = 423x213px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Depending what corners of the internet you hang out on, 'regular' may at times awkwardly coexist with 'sexy.'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by an INFLATIONARY BOT. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

{{w|Cosmic inflation}} is the theory that the very early universe briefly expanded at an enormous rate. This explains the "clumpiness" of the early universe, which is necessary to explain the formation of large-scale structures (e.g. galaxies, {{w|galaxy clusters}}, {{w|galaxy filaments}}, etc.) as the universe evolved. "Regular" {{w|inflation}} refers to the economic process in which the average price of goods and services increases over time. This is usually gradual, but can be very rapid during times of economic distress.

The comic puts both of these on the same timeline of the universe. Cosmic inflation occurs shortly (~10-35 s) after the {{w|Big Bang}}. Regular inflation occurs only during the time of human society after money started being used. Because of the logarithmic scale of the graph, the cosmic inflation period, which is only a tiny fraction of a second, looks much larger than regular inflation, which has existed for at least a few thousand years. This misinterpretation is likely [[Randall]]'s intention in the comic.

The title text refers to a third meaning, that of {{w|body inflation}} as a sexual fetish or kink, which has no direct relationship to cosmology or economics. [[Randall]] points out that body inflation happens at the same time as economic inflation, presumably because both arise from human activities. The suggestion that this coexistence may be "awkward" perhaps implies that people are paying to indulge in the fetish, and that those prices are subject to economic inflation. The "inflation" might also refer to something akin to a {{w|Sex doll|blow-up doll}}.

Another comic showing the Cosmic Inflation on a graph is [[2240]].

==Transcript==
:[Caption:] Timeline of Inflation
:[A log scale timeline marked by "Age of the Universe (Seconds)" at each factor of 1010, ranging from 10-40 to about 1025. A bar labeled "Cosmic" begins off-panel to the left and continues up to roughly 10-32 seconds. A second, much thinner bar labeled "Regular" covers another period between roughly 1016 and 1018 seconds.]

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Cosmology]]
[[Category:Sex]]

3223: Inflation Timeline

2026-03-23T18:42:34Z

Amateurautist:

3223: Inflation Timeline

2026-03-23T18:42:07Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */ actually added a transcript

3223: Inflation Timeline

2026-03-23T18:41:14Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */ added a transcript

1098: Star Ratings

2026-03-23T17:38:05Z

Amateurautist: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1098
| date = August 22, 2012
| title = Star Ratings
| image = star ratings.png
| titletext = I got lost and wandered into the world's creepiest cemetery, where the headstones just had names and star ratings. Freaked me out. When I got home I tried to leave the cemetery a bad review on Yelp, but as my hand hovered over the 'one star' button I felt this distant chill...
}}

==Explanation==
This comic deals with the idea that users when viewing online star ratings are usually heavily biased towards the best possible rating (five stars). As there are nine possible scores in the rating system in the comic (1 star, 1.5 stars, 2 stars...4.5 stars, and finally 5 stars), a rating of 3 out of 5 stars is supposed to represent "average" or "mediocre". Thus, anything above 3-and-a-half stars is supposed to be "good" and anything below 3-and-a-half stars is "bad". However, most people consider a four-star rating to be "OK", and everything below as "crap".

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Star Rating!! Randall's Conclusion || Explanation
|-
| 5 Stars || [Has Only One Review] || No product is so perfect that every user will give it five stars - as soon as one person gives it less than five, the overall review score will drop. Fake reviews are also factors that often push an aggregate score higher, although this is not addressed in the comic. For this reason, the only explanation for a five-star rating is that only a few users have voted, maybe only one.
|-
| 4.5 Stars || Excellent || When a business has many customers, it's impossible to please all of them, or they did please them all and some are [[958: Hotels|posting bad reviews]] as a cruel prank. However, 4.5 stars means almost everyone finds the business pleasant.
|-
| 4 Stars || OK || If it has 4 stars, this means that a significant portion of the customers are having a bad experience at the store.
|-
| 3.5 Stars - 0 Stars || Crap || 3.5 stars and below means a large percentage of people have had a bad experience with the product.
|}

The title text may refer to the folkloric practice of attributing a feeling of a chill to someone walking on your future grave. When Randall is back home he would like to give a bad rating on {{w|Yelp}} — a corporation that operates an "online urban guide" — and hovering his hand over the 'one-star' button, he was just 'walking' over the rating on his own future grave.

Another possible explanation for the title text is that the headstones are from people who gave the cemetery star ratings and were then murdered, having their given ratings displayed in the headstones. This would explain the chill Randall feels before clicking the one-star button.

Finally, the "world's creepiest cemetery, where the headstones just had names and star ratings" could simply be Randall not understanding he was in a Jewish cemetery where headstones have {{w|Star of David}}s on them. Note that these would exclusively be {{w|hexagram}}s, rather than the more usual five-pointed/ten-edged variety of concave {{w|star polygon}} used in actual rating systems.

See also: [[937: TornadoGuard]], another comic about star ratings.

==Transcript==
:Understanding online star ratings:

:5 stars: [Has only one review]
:4.5 stars: Excellent
:4 stars: OK
:3.5-1 star: Crap

==Trivia==
*The image at the end of [http://what-if.xkcd.com/69/ What-If 69] references this comic in the title text.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Online reviews]]

325: A-Minus-Minus

2026-03-23T17:36:11Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 325
| date = October 5, 2007
| title = A-Minus-Minus
| image = a-minus-minus.png
| titletext = You can do this one in every 30 times and still have 97% positive feedback.
}}
==Explanation==

[[Black Hat]] is trying to make the world a weirder place by shipping bobcats to his {{w|eBay}} buyers. Ordinarily, negative feedback is used to warn future buyers about sellers who ship broken products or post misleading listings. In this case, the unfortunate buyer is leaving feedback warning future buyers that Black Hat ships {{w|bobcat}}s instead of the actual products, though "would not buy again" seems to be a rather feeble response to the replacement. This appears to have been a continuing project, as [[Cueball]] receives random packages a year and a half later ([[576: Packages]]). Four years later, it is shown that you can blackmail Black Hat into not sending you a bobcat ([[837: Coupon Code]]). This comic is also referenced in [http://www.amazon.com/review/R2PBRQNTVGO7NH/ref=cm_cr_dp_title?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0544272994&nodeID=283155&store=books a popular Amazon review] (account required) for Randall Munroe's book, What If: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions.

The weak "would not buy again" comment is a play on the stock "would buy again" comment often found in positive eBay feedback; the title "A-Minus-Minus" is a play on the frequent comment "A++." That in turn, sometimes with varying numbers of pluses, seems to be an easy way people use to pad the end of an eBay comment field to the maximum 80 characters. It's also a reference to jokes in which exceptionally good schoolwork is graded with extra pluses after an A+ (and exceptionally bad work is graded with large numbers of minuses after an F).

The title text is about a flaw in eBay's feedback system: You can intentionally do nasty things to your buyers and get ''very'' bad reviews, but still have overall high feedback scores as long as you don't do it too often. (See also [[937: TornadoGuard]], which shows a different flaw in the concept of averaging reviews — namely that five-star reviews for aesthetic qualities are weighted equally to one-star reviews for major functional deficits — and [[1098: Star Ratings]], which addresses the topic as well.) These reviews would be disregarded by future customers as well for their weirdness.

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat is packing a bobcat into a box; Megan stands beside him.]

:Megan: What are you doing?
:Black Hat: Making the world a weirder place.

:Bobcat: ''mrrowlll''
:[Black Hat has finished taping the package for shipping.]
:Black Hat: Starting with my eBay feedback page.

:[Bandaged person at a computer with assorted debris around the floor.]
:Screen: '''Comments:'''
:Bandaged person typing: Instead of office chair package contained bobcat.
:Bandaged person typing: Would not buy again.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Bobcats]]
[[Category:Online reviews]]
[[Category:Comics with a Spanish translation]]

131: Fans

2026-03-20T14:41:30Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 131
| date = July 21, 2006
| title = Fans
| image = fans.png
| titletext = It's not going to break the fan, bouncing a rubber ball off the wall isn't going to dent it, and the roof can hold me just fine. You LIED!
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is probably best understood by someone with young kids who explore everything in their household, and the fear that the kids will damage something expensive. Some parents issue harsh warnings to their children when they so much as touch an expensive item, which can be frustrating to children who feel that they don't have the freedom to explore.

In the comic, [[Cueball]] lets go of these frustrations as he finally owns his own place. He buys an oscillating fan and grabs its head, locking the mechanism that rotates it. As it attempts to turn, a release stub on the motor clicks to alleviate pressure and prevent damage to the fan. Cueball enjoys the clicking sound that the fan makes, without having to worry about his mother stopping him.

This shares a theme with [[357: Flies]].

The title text gives more falsehoods that his mother told him: that bouncing a ball against a wall will dent the wall, or that the roof is too weak to hold his weight.

==Transcript==
:<big>Best thing about having my own apartment:</big>
:Holding fans in place so they twitch helplessly and make that clicking sound without my mom yelling at me.
:[Cueball holding the blades of a fan in place.]
:Fan: click click

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

131: Fans

2026-03-20T14:40:55Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 131
| date = July 21, 2006
| title = Fans
| image = fans.png
| titletext = It's not going to break the fan, bouncing a rubber ball off the wall isn't going to dent it, and the roof can hold me just fine. You LIED!
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is probably best understood by someone with young kids who explore everything in their household, and the fear that the kids will damage something expensive. Some parents issue harsh warnings to their children when they so much as touch an expensive item, which can be frustrating to children who feel that they don't have the freedom to explore.

In the comic, [[Cueball]] lets go of these frustrations as he finally owns his own place. He buys an oscillating fan and grabs its head, locking the mechanism that rotates it. As it attempts to turn, a release stub on the motor clicks to alleviate pressure and prevent damage to the fan. Cueball enjoys the clicking sound that the fan makes, without having to worry about his mother stopping him.

This shares a theme with [[357: Flies]].

The title text gives more falsehoods that his mother told him: that bouncing a ball against a wall will dent the wall, or that the roof is too weak to hold his weight.

==Transcript==
:<big>BEST THING ABOUT HAVING MY OWN APARTMENT:</big>
:Holding fans in place so they twitch helplessly and make that clicking sound without my mom yelling at me.
:[Cueball holding the blades of a fan in place.]
:Fan: click click

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

952: Stud Finder

2026-03-19T18:52:21Z

Amateurautist: /* Explanation */ revised the explanation of the title text

{{comic
| number = 952
| date = September 16, 2011
| title = Stud Finder
| image = stud_finder.png
| titletext = According to every stud finder I've tried to use, my walls contain a rapidly shifting network of hundreds and hundreds of studs.
}}

==Explanation==
''It sounds like you may be interested in my new product, a—'' '''stud finder finder.'''

[[Cueball]] cannot locate his {{w|Stud_finder|stud finder}}, so [[Black Hat]] begins a sales pitch, presumably for a "stud finder" finder. The joke is in the irony of having to find something that is used to find other things. Cueball interrupts Black Hat before he can make the obvious joke. The same comic technique is used later in [[1059: Bel-Air]]. Currently no product exists that will locate a stud finder, although online review compilations are useful for finding the right stud finder to buy.

Studs are vertical wood members in {{w|Framing_(construction)|wood-framed construction}} common in North America, although steel framing has become a popular alternative. These supports reinforce a wall at regular intervals, typically 16 inches (about 40 cm), and at corners, windows, and doors.

One might want to know the locations of studs within a wall for installing wiring, mounting shelves and heavy objects to walls, or in this comic, hanging a picture. In constructions with mostly solid walls, discovering (and avoiding) any previously installed electric cables or pipes is as important a prelude to any new drilling of holes or hammering of nails, and the same or similar detectors aim to reduce that risk.

There are circumstances that can fool stud finders. Most are designed for the drywall-over-wood-framing construction, and can be fooled by older {{w|Lath_and_plaster|plaster and lath}} construction where the density is much more uniform throughout the length of the wall. Lower quality stud finders can also be fooled by things like moisture in the drywall or wiring within the wall cavity, and may thus beep when there is not a stud behind the scanned location. As a result, many people will try alternatives such as using a magnet to find the drywall screws or nails, or tapping a finishing nail through the wall to see if there is a stud underneath.

In the title text, [[Randall]] claims that his walls contain a vast, constantly shifting network of studs. While this may be the case, it would be extremely unusual, and a more likely explanation is that the many different stud finders he's tried have made different errors and incorrectly detected studs in different places.

The idea of a "something doer doer" was explored again in [[1821: Incinerator]], the title text of [[2376: Curbside]], and [[2382: Ballot Tracker Tracker]]. [[2222: Terminator: Dark Fate]] also features a "person stopper stopper".

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat sits on a couch, reading a book. Cueball is approaching him from behind the couch holding a picture in a frame, a screwdriver, and some screws.]
:Cueball: Have you seen my stud finder? I've looked everywhere.
:Black Hat: It sounds like you may be interested in my new product, a—
:Cueball: Shut up.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Recursion]]

1470: Kix

2026-03-18T18:01:48Z

Amateurautist: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1470
| date = January 7, 2015
| title = Kix
| image = kix.png
| titletext = My parents sent me to several years of intensive Kix test prep.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Kix (cereal)|Kix}} is an American brand of cold breakfast cereal made of extruded and expanded cornmeal. Its slogan, "Kid tested, Mother approved," is well known in the United States. However, in this brainstorming session, the word "Approved" has apparently not yet been considered. A number of possible words and phrases for the ending have been presented and {{w|Strikethrough|stricken out}}, indicating that they were rejected; each one causes the slogan to be subject to increasingly absurd and comedic interpretations:

; Selected
: This word may have been chosen as a {{w|slant rhyme}} of "Tested". This word shares a definition with "Approved", and states that mothers specifically choose this cereal over others. This phrase could also suggest that one mother ''herself'' had been chosen for some unstated purpose.

; Perfected
: It's likely that the previous word inspired someone in the brainstorming session to find a similarly positive word that rhymes with "Selected". It states that one or more mothers were directly involved in developing and refining the cereal's composition to a high degree. Much like with "Selected", this could also suggest that the mother was somehow improved to perfection during the test.

; Not Notified
: Relates to the world of experimental research and clinical trials. This phrase suggests that the children who tested the cereal did not obtain the required consent, which would generally involve notifying and getting permission from at least one parent or guardian.

; Watching Helplessly
: Again we can see that in a brainstorming session such the previous option may trigger this one as it is related to the dangers of testing. This phrase suggests that mothers were forced to watch their children test the cereal, and that the cereal or the test is unhealthy or dangerous.

; Infected
: This may be intended to show the group dynamic of the brainstorming session as it is inspired by option one and two, as infected rhymes with both selected and perfected, and by the third option as both relate to dangerous testing. This slogan states that an infectious agent was passed to the mother as a result of the test. This could also be interpreted as the mother having introduced the infectious agent into the cereal or testing environment.

; Consumed
: Continuing the trend of dark slogans this slogan says that the mothers were ''themselves'' consumed, perhaps by their children (by virtue of the mother being an ingredient in the cereal), the cereal itself, or something otherwise related to the test. Another possible interpretation is that the mother ate the cereal after the kid tested it, possibly because the kid did not enjoy the taste.

; Fucker
: This expletive is often paired with "Mother" to form the compound word "Motherfucker". In this case, the slogan changes to {{w|vocative case}}: "[This cereal has been] Kid Tested, Motherfucker!". This appears to be an "elephant" - a ponderous ending of a joke that contrasts sharply with the refined and mild humor of the previous options. The phrase itself basically only states that a child tested the cereal and implies that nothing else matters. Using a swear word on packaging of a food designed for kids is usually not a good idea. {{Citation needed}}

The title text conflates the phrase "Kid tested" with college entrance exams such as the {{w|Standardized Aptitude Test}} (SAT) or the {{w|ACT (test)|ACT}}. Instead of stating that a child tasted the cereal and gave their opinion on its quality, the cereal itself is an academic subject on which the child was tested. Randall, referring to how some parents enroll their children in special {{w|Test prep|classes or schools}} to prepare them to score well in this type of test, states that his parents extensively prepared him for a college entrance exam about Kix cereal. Cereal advertising has previously been referenced in [[38: Apple Jacks]].

This comic may be a commentary about the uselessness of brainstorming sessions or the bad ideas that come out of them, as they are often started with the phrase "there are no bad ideas". As the brainstorming session continues the original meaning of the slogan is lost, much like a game of telephone, and the session becomes less productive.

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail, Megan, and Cueball are standing around a whiteboard on an easel; Ponytail and Cueball are holding red markers. The whiteboard reads:]
:[in Large] '''Kix'''
:[Underlined] Slogan ideas
:Kid Tested, Mother...

[following lines all in red and each crossed out]
:<s>Selected</s>
:<s>Perfected</s>
:<s>Not notified</s>
:<s>Watching helplessly</s>
:<s>Infected</s>
:<s>Consumed</s>
:<s>''Fucker''</s>

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Comics featuring children]]
[[Category:Comics with red annotations]]

2134: Too Much Talking

2026-03-17T20:18:00Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2134
| date = April 8, 2019
| title = Too Much Talking
| image = too_much_talking.png
| titletext = Next time I go, I'm going to prepare a whole bunch of opinions that I'm sure are good, and make everyone sit quietly while I run through them.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] has recently returned from a party, something which is unusual since Cueball has mostly been shown as an introverted type. Like most introverts, social interactions and obligations have worn him out, and different from most after-party regrets, he appears to have "talked too much."
While at the party, he has likely expressed opinions that might be rejected or seen as embarrassing by his social circle or society as a whole, and is now remorseful and embarrassed he said such things. In his shame, he recedes under his bed, but evidently he finds new opinions to feel strongly about, and quickly returns to society.

The title text presents a suggestion that will likely not go over well, as forcing those at a party to quietly listen to you is a great way to kill the party. It also does not allow others to respond to said opinions before moving on to the next.

==Transcript==

:[Cueball is walking into the panel from the right]
:Off-screen: How was the party?
:Cueball: ''Taaalkiiiiiiing''
:Cueball: Blablablabla
:Cueball: I talked so much. Too much? ''Probably.''
:Cueball: My face is tired.

:[Cueball moving to retreat under a bed]
:Cueball: So many conversations.
:Cueball: I'm worried that all my opinions are bad. Why did I talk so much?
:Cueball: Time to hide under my bed and never speak to another human again.

:[The bed is shown, presumably with Cueball under it.]

:[Caption:] Five minutes later...
:[Cueball crawling out from under the bed]
:Cueball: I have some new opinions.
:Off-screen: That didn't take long.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Social interactions]]

538: Security

2026-03-17T18:48:26Z

Amateurautist: /* Explanation */ added an elaboration about the size of the wrench

{{comic
| number = 538
| date = February 2, 2009
| title = Security
| image = security.png
| titletext = Actual actual reality: nobody cares about his secrets. (Also, I would be hard-pressed to find that wrench for $5.)
}}

==Explanation==
The "crypto nerd" (short for cryptography in this case, not cryptocurrency, which was only invented a few months before this comic) would be concerned with strongly encrypting data on their personal machine. This would conceivably come in handy when "villains" attempt to steal information on his computer. The crypto nerd imagines that due to his advanced encryption, the crackers will be ultimately defeated. [[Randall]] suggests that in the real world, people with the desire to access this information would simply {{w|Rubber-hose cryptanalysis|use torture}} to coerce the nerd to give them the password. Both panels also reference the amount of money used to access the data. In the first the villain is willing to use millions of dollars to construct a {{w|TWIRL|super computer}} which may still not fulfill their aim, while in the second, he simply uses a $5 wrench and 'the personal touch'. The comic effectively states, completely accurately, that the weakest part of computer security is usually not the computer, but the user.

{{w|RSA (algorithm)|RSA}} is a commonly used public key encryption method. Current standards typically use 1024, 2048, and (more recently) 4096 {{w|Key size|bit keys}}. These encryption methods are not yet (feasibly) breakable. A 4096-bit key will remain unbreakable for the foreseeable future.

To be resilient against this sort of "attack", cryptographers have devised schemes of {{w|deniable encryption}}, where attackers either cannot prove that encrypted information exists at all, or that allows the user to provide a password that reveals one (innocuous, or embarrassing but not illegal) secret without giving any indication that there is a second password that reveals the more important secret.

The title text pokes fun at typical users, who do not have data that would be worth anything to anyone but themselves. Therefore, it is unlikely that the above situation would ever occur. Additionally, the wrench used in the second panel is large (about as long as the thief's arm, which would ironically make it less useful as a wrench but potentially more useful as a bludgeon), and presumably costs more than the $5 referenced by the thug.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is holding a laptop up in two hands, showing it to his Cueball-like friend who is examining it while holding a hand up to his head. Above the top of the panels frame, there is a box with a caption:]
:A Crypto nerd's imagination:
:Cueball: His laptop's encrypted. Let's build a million-dollar cluster to crack it.
:Friend: No good! It's 4096-bit RSA!
:Cueball: Blast! Our evil plan is foiled!

:[Cueball is holding a closed laptop down in one hand while giving his Cueball-like friend a wrench with the other. The friend reaches out for it. Above the top of the panels frame, there is a box with a caption:]
:What would actually happen:
:Cueball: His laptop's encrypted. Drug him and hit him with this $5 wrench until he tells us the password.
:Friend : Got it.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Cryptography]]

166: Misusing Slang

2026-03-13T18:48:39Z

Amateurautist: /* Explanation */ updated explanation with more probable reasoning for the joke

{{comic
| number = 166
| date = October 4, 2006
| title = Misusing Slang
| image = misusing_slang.png
| titletext = It slowly dawns on us that our parents knew exactly what they were doing.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Randall]] expresses excitement for the time in the future where he can intentionally misuse modern-day slang in order to make nearby teenagers feel uncomfortable. He illustrates this by using the word "pwned," the past tense of "pwn" (from "own," as in to defeat completely): "The noob was pwned by the pro." In this comic, Randall intentionally misinterprets "pwned" as a synonym of "cool" or "good" rather than a past-tense verb, which infuriates the teenager standing next to him.

Many teenagers believe their parents to be not "with the times," however Randall suggests that parents actually ''do'' know what the words mean, but are acting otherwise in order to mess with their heads for their personal amusement. The title text reinforces this, as every generation has had some form of slang that they used, and it could be possible that this practice has been continued for a good while. It also suggests that the parents of teenagers may be "pwning" their children by intentionally misusing these modern-day slang.

==Transcript==
:[Caption:] The best part of getting older is gonna be intentionally misusing slang around teenagers just to watch them squirm.
:[Cueball stands next to a Kidball-like teenager, who is twitching]
:Cueball: Oh man, that song is so pwned!
:Teenager: ''twitch''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

166: Misusing Slang

2026-03-13T18:45:01Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 166
| date = October 4, 2006
| title = Misusing Slang
| image = misusing_slang.png
| titletext = It slowly dawns on us that our parents knew exactly what they were doing.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Randall]] expresses excitement for the time in the future where he can intentionally misuse modern-day slang in order to make nearby teenagers feel uncomfortable. He illustrates this by using the word "pwned," the past tense of "pwn" (from "own," as in to defeat completely): "The noob was pwned by the pro." In this comic, Randall uses "pwned" as "owned", but he misuses the word to say that the song is owned by many people.

Many teenagers believe their parents to be not "with the times," however Randall suggests that parents actually ''do'' know what the words mean, but are acting otherwise in order to mess with their heads for their personal amusement. The title text reinforces this, as every generation has had some form of slang that they used, and it could be possible that this practice has been continued for a good while. It also suggests that the parents of teenagers may be "pwning" their children by intentionally misusing these modern-day slang.

==Transcript==
:[Caption:] The best part of getting older is gonna be intentionally misusing slang around teenagers just to watch them squirm.
:[Cueball stands next to a Kidball-like teenager, who is twitching]
:Cueball: Oh man, that song is so pwned!
:Teenager: ''twitch''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

1346: Career

2026-03-13T17:06:42Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 1346
| date = March 24, 2014
| title = Career
| image = career.png
| titletext = They'd convince me to come out of retirement for one last job: biting into a giant lump of slightly soft wax a couple of times.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is presumably asked to answer the typical {{w|Career counseling|career counselor}} question: What is your dream job? Rather than going with the more common answers that are designed to increase the chances of landing that particular job, Cueball talks about unrealistic jobs that are whimsical, and so well compensated that a little over one hour on the clock would provide enough wealth for a luxurious retirement; of course, you can have such a job only in your dreams. He makes jobs out of tasks that people do when they are bored, whether the tasks needed to be done or not. Therefore, if he did not get the job he probably would have done them at some point anyway.

Peeling lint off {{w|Clothes dryer#Tumbler dryers|dryer traps}} can relieve boredom, but it gets tedious soon, so Cueball wants to do that only for 5 minutes, followed by an hour of holding the handle of a {{w|lightsaber}} against things and switching it on. The energy emitted by this fictional weapon will probably burn, melt or cut the object it is touching as demonstrated in a scene from ''{{w|Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace}}'', where Jedi {{w|Qui-Gon Jinn}} uses his lightsaber to cut through a wall. Later, ''{{w|Star Wars: The Last Jedi}}'' turned out to demonstrate a lightsaber being placed against something before being switched on-- on the head of a Praetorian Guard. Obviously, it would be impossible to find a job like this, let alone one with a salary allowing one to retire to a life of luxury.{{Citation needed}}

The title text is poking fun at Hollywood films, particularly stories about violent professions (like mobsters, hitmen, detective or spies) where the hero is retired, but some unforeseen circumstance has forced them out of retirement to do "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OneLastJob one last job]." Usually in these films, the jobs are overtly, improbably dangerous, often with the suggestion that they may lose their lives doing it, but the reward for doing the job (saving the world, a ton of cash, an unresolved/resolved debt) is just too great to refuse. However, in this comic the joke is that his "one last job" is also a mildly amusing task designed to relieve boredom.

An alternative explanation may be that these activities are very sensationally unique and satisfying for certain types of people, such as those with autism, and that this dream job is simply getting paid absurd amounts of money for something they wanted to do anyway. Or, "dream" may be taken literally, and these may be jobs that Cueball has had in his dreams, given the strange nature of them.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball stands facing a desk, behind which [[Hairbun]] is sitting in a desk chair.]
:Cueball: It would start with five minutes of peeling lint from dryer traps
:Cueball: followed by an hour of pressing a lightsaber handle against things and switching it on.
:Cueball: Then I'd retire to a life of luxury.

:[Caption below the panel:] When people ask me to describe my dream job, I'm never sure how realistic to be.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]

1346: Career

2026-03-13T17:04:23Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 1346
| date = March 24, 2014
| title = Career
| image = career.png
| titletext = They'd convince me to come out of retirement for one last job: biting into a giant lump of slightly soft wax a couple of times.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is presumably asked to answer the typical {{w|Career counseling|career counselor}} question: What is your dream job? Rather than going with the more common answers that are designed to increase the chances of landing that particular job, Cueball talks about unrealistic jobs that are whimsical, and so well compensated that a little over one hour on the clock would provide enough wealth for a luxurious retirement; of course, you can have such a job only in your dreams. He makes jobs out of tasks that people do when they are bored, whether the tasks needed to be done or not. Therefore, if he did not get the job he probably would have done them at some point anyway.

Peeling lint off {{w|Clothes dryer#Tumbler dryers|dryer traps}} can relieve boredom, but it gets tedious soon, so Cueball wants to do that only for 5 minutes, followed by an hour of holding the handle of a {{w|lightsaber}} against things and switching it on. The energy emitted by this fictional weapon will probably burn, melt or cut the object it is touching as demonstrated in a scene from ''{{w|Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace}}'', where Jedi {{w|Qui-Gon Jinn}} uses his lightsaber to cut through a wall. Later, ''{{w|Star Wars: The Last Jedi}}'' turned out to demonstrate a lightsaber being placed against something before being switched on-- on the head of a Praetorian Guard. Obviously, it would be impossible to find a job like this, let alone one with a salary allowing one to retire to a life of luxury.{{Citation needed}}

The title text is poking fun at Hollywood films, particularly stories about violent professions (like mobsters, hitmen, detective or spies) where the hero is retired, but some unforeseen circumstance has forced them out of retirement to do "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OneLastJob one last job]." Usually in these films, the jobs are overtly, improbably dangerous, often with the suggestion that they may lose their lives doing it, but the reward for doing the job (saving the world, a ton of cash, an unresolved/resolved debt) is just too great to refuse. However, in this comic the joke is that his "one last job" is also a mildly amusing task designed to relieve boredom.

An alternative explanation may be that these activities are very sensationally unique and satisfying for certain types of people, such as those with autism, and that this dream job is simply getting paid absurd amounts of money for something they wanted to do anyway. Or, "dream" may be taken literally, and these may be jobs that Cueball has had in his dreams, given the strange nature of them.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball stands facing a desk, behind which [[Hairbun]] is sitting in a desk chair.]
:Cueball: It would start with five minutes of peeling lint from dryer traps
:Cueball: followed by an hour of pressing a lightsaber handle against things and switching it on.
:Cueball: Then I'd retire to a life of luxury.

:When people ask me to describe my dream job, I'm never sure how realistic to be.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]

1346: Career

2026-03-13T17:03:52Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */ removed a comma for accuracy and identified the person behind the desk as Hairbun

{{comic
| number = 1346
| date = March 24, 2014
| title = Career
| image = career.png
| titletext = They'd convince me to come out of retirement for one last job: biting into a giant lump of slightly soft wax a couple of times.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is presumably asked to answer the typical {{w|Career counseling|career counselor}} question: What is your dream job? Rather than going with the more common answers that are designed to increase the chances of landing that particular job, Cueball talks about unrealistic jobs that are whimsical, and so well compensated that a little over one hour on the clock would provide enough wealth for a luxurious retirement; of course, you can have such a job only in your dreams. He makes jobs out of tasks that people do when they are bored, whether the tasks needed to be done or not. Therefore, if he did not get the job he probably would have done them at some point anyway.

Peeling lint off {{w|Clothes dryer#Tumbler dryers|dryer traps}} can relieve boredom, but it gets tedious soon, so Cueball wants to do that only for 5 minutes, followed by an hour of holding the handle of a {{w|lightsaber}} against things and switching it on. The energy emitted by this fictional weapon will probably burn, melt or cut the object it is touching as demonstrated in a scene from ''{{w|Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace}}'', where Jedi {{w|Qui-Gon Jinn}} uses his lightsaber to cut through a wall. Later, ''{{w|Star Wars: The Last Jedi}}'' turned out to demonstrate a lightsaber being placed against something before being switched on-- on the head of a Praetorian Guard. Obviously, it would be impossible to find a job like this, let alone one with a salary allowing one to retire to a life of luxury.{{Citation needed}}

The title text is poking fun at Hollywood films, particularly stories about violent professions (like mobsters, hitmen, detective or spies) where the hero is retired, but some unforeseen circumstance has forced them out of retirement to do "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OneLastJob one last job]." Usually in these films, the jobs are overtly, improbably dangerous, often with the suggestion that they may lose their lives doing it, but the reward for doing the job (saving the world, a ton of cash, an unresolved/resolved debt) is just too great to refuse. However, in this comic the joke is that his "one last job" is also a mildly amusing task designed to relieve boredom.

An alternative explanation may be that these activities are very sensationally unique and satisfying for certain types of people, such as those with autism, and that this dream job is simply getting paid absurd amounts of money for something they wanted to do anyway. Or, "dream" may be taken literally, and these may be jobs that Cueball has had in his dreams, given the strange nature of them.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball stands facing a desk, behind which Hairbun is sitting in a desk chair.]
:Cueball: It would start with five minutes of peeling lint from dryer traps
:Cueball: followed by an hour of pressing a lightsaber handle against things and switching it on.
:Cueball: Then I'd retire to a life of luxury.

:When people ask me to describe my dream job, I'm never sure how realistic to be.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]

452: Mission

2026-03-13T15:32:57Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 452
| date = July 21, 2008
| title = Mission
| image = mission.png
| titletext = Don't you know? The chances of a random object being a scone are about one in six.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] and [[Beret Guy]] are on a mission, intending to destroy whatever machine they are in, except that Beret Guy tends to be a bit surreal and brought a bag for holding pastries instead of explosive charges.

This is not the first time he's made such a bakery mistake; see [[434: xkcd Goes to the Airport]].

He then attempts to eat what Cueball identifies as {{w|lug nut|lug nuts}}, believing them to be scones. In reality, lug nuts do not look very similar to scones.{{Citation needed}} He bites into them and it hurts him, but as he says, maybe some of them are not lug nuts, and he wishes to test them all. (One of Beret Guy's strange powers seems to be superhuman jaw strength: the crunching sound implies he is biting down on steel lug nuts hard enough to crack them apart)

The title text further emphasizes Beret Guy's obsession with bakery goods, by stating that if a random object is selected, there will be a 1/6 chance that it is a scone, which explains his behavior with the lug nuts. This is, of course, a ridiculous assertion, as if it were true, more than 16% of all things in the universe would have to be scones. (However, Beret Guy's obsession with bakeries and the fact that he doesn't realise he's not in a bakery could make this statement justified from his perspective.) Given Beret Guy's powers, he may have just made this true.

Beret Guy and scones are also referenced in the title text of both [[677: Asshole]] and [[1030: Keyed]].

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy and Cueball are rappelling down separate ropes into the interior workings of a large machine.]
:Cueball: Okay, we're in the belly of the machine. You got the charges?
:Beret Guy: The what?

:[The two are standing next to some large pieces of machinery.]
:Cueball [gesturing]: The explosive charges!
:Beret Guy [pulling out a bag]: I just brought this bag for pastries.
:Cueball: The hell? We're on a mission here!

:Beret Guy [looking around]: This isn't a bakery?
:Cueball [head in hand]: Oh, Christ, not this shit again.

:Beret Guy [crouching by some lug nuts lying on a piece of machinery]: What about these scones?
:Cueball: Those are lug nuts.
:Beret Guy [stuffing them in his mouth]: ...Maybe SOME of them aren't! *crunch* Ow! *crunch*

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Food]]

3188: Anyone Else Here

2026-03-13T13:52:48Z

Amateurautist: updated the explanation slightly

{{comic
| number = 3188
| date = December 31, 2025
| title = Anyone Else Here
| image = anyone_else_here_2x.png
| imagesize = 285x350px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Anyone else watching this Youtube video in 1954? If so, my last trip definitely messed with the timeline.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a youTuber without internet. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
This comic makes fun of a common method that YouTube commenters use to farm likes and replies by saying "Who is watching in [year]?" The comment is considered something of a meme within YouTube, and besides that is intended as a compliment implying the video is "timeless" or otherwise a happy memory worth revisiting. However, since these comments fail to contribute much to any sort of discussion, they are seen as annoying by many (especially when large numbers of people make very similar comments.)

The comic, however, presents them instead as time travelers who are lost, and their preferred method of communicating with other time travelers is posting YouTube comments about watching a specific video in a specific year. This may be a somewhat ingenious way of staying incognito while still being able to relay messages, as many people don't read the comments. Even when people do read the comments, these ones are somewhat innocuous and easily overlooked, so they would cause little-to-no disruption in the timeline.{{Citation needed}}

The title text shows a time traveler stuck in the year 1954, somehow commenting on a YouTube video despite Youtube not being invented until 2005. In order to comment on a Youtube video in 1954, one would have to mess up the timeline badly enough that computers, the internet, and Youtube become common much earlier.

==Transcript==

:[The bottom of a YouTube video is shown, with the play and volume icons visible.]
:[There are two lines of illegible text below the videos.]
:564 Comments
:[To the right of "564 Comments" are three parallel lines of different lengths representing YouTube's "sort by" function. A long horizontal line is below.]
:[Three YouTube comments are shown. Each one has an avatar to the left, an @ sign before an illegible name, with smaller illegible text next to it. Below each comment are the YouTube thumbs-up icon, illegible text, the YouTube thumbs-down icon, and more illegible text.]
:[Avatar: A Cueball-like person seen from the chest up, but with a wider torso than usual.] Who else is here in 2023?
:[Avatar: A double chevron pointing to the upper left.] Is anyone else watching this in 2017?
:[Avatar: A Megan-like person standing.] Anyone else here in 2025??

:[Text below the panel:]
:For some reason, confused time travelers always try to find each other using YouTube comments.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:YouTube]]
[[Category:Time travel]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

760: Moria

2026-03-12T18:47:42Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 760
| date = June 30, 2010
| title = Moria
| image = moria.png
| titletext = Someone should really bring them a ladder and remind them to build the Endless Stair *first* next time.
}}

==Explanation==
This is [[Randall]]'s take on the story of {{w|Moria (Middle-earth)|Moria}} in the fantasy story ''{{w|The Lord of the Rings}}''. In the original the dwarves, hunting for the precious metal mithril dug so deep that they awoke a {{w|Balrog}} — a {{w|Maiar in Middle-earth|Maia}} corrupted by {{w|Morgoth|Melkor}}. {{w|Gandalf}} is telling about the story to four hobbits standing next to him. One of the {{w|hobbits}} has apparently read ''The Lord of the Rings'', because he asks if the dwarves "awoke a terror of shadow and flame", but then Gandalf says that they were merely trapped in their hole and couldn't get out.

However, Gandalf's final line may be a hint that the comic's version is closer to the original than it appears — in the story, the adventuring party discovers a journal of the last dwarves to occupy Moria. The last page starts ominously: "We cannot get out. We cannot get out." That memorable sentence is used again near the end of the page as the impending final orcish attack is described by the now-dead dwarves, and repeated by {{w|Gimli}} as they reflect on the terrible news, lending a much darker tone to the comic's punchline.

The title text suggests a mundane solution to their problem — a long ladder. The Endless Stair was a very long staircase from the lowest dungeon up to the top of the mountain above Moria: the title text suggests that the dwarves should have constructed that prior to entering the depths.

==Transcript==
:[A far shot of Gandalf the Grey and the four hobbits standing in a dark, underground city.]
:Gandalf: Behold, Khazad-Dûm; the Dwarrowdelf; the mines of Moria -- once the greatest and mightiest city of the dwarves.

:[Full body shot of Gandalf.]
:Gandalf: But the dwarves delved too greedily.

:[Close-up on Gandalf.]
:Gandalf: ''And too deep.''

:[Full shot of the hobbits and Gandalf.]
:Hobbit: ...and awoke a terror of shadow and flame?
:Gandalf: No. They couldn't get out.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:LOTR]]

3218: Subduction Retrieval

2026-03-12T13:45:32Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */ rewrote the transcript

{{comic
| number = 3218
| date = March 11, 2026
| title = Subduction Retrieval
| image = subduction_retrieval_2x.png
| imagesize = 502x347px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Aww, the oceanic crust and the continental crust are getting married!
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by a SUBDUCTION LICENSE. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

This comic is a {{w|public service announcement}} (PSA) telling the reader to stay out of the {{w|Pacific Ocean}} on the current day. The reason for this is explained to be that someone has lost their wedding ring in a {{w|subduction zone}}. This is a boundary where two {{w|tectonic plates}} in the Earth's crust collide, and one plate dives beneath the other into the {{w|Earth's mantle}}. The ring can be seen glimmering on the upper surface of the subducted oceanic plate, in the {{w|accretionary wedge}} below the continental plate. Given that the rate at which this occurs is of a few centimetres per year at most, and assuming that the characters shown are drawn to scale and are of average human stature, it can be estimated that the ring has been in the subduction zone for about 200 years. Possibly this time has been needed to localise it and then deploy the heavy engineering displayed.

As a result, the {{w|United States Geological Survey}} (USGS) is "pulling the plate back up" to retrieve the ring. This would be a ridiculous idea, since no man-made machine is capable of moving entire tectonic plates.{{cn}} Even if it were possible, it is unlikely that the USGS, a national organization, would invest the time and effort required for such an operation for the relatively trivial purpose of retrieving a wedding ring, particularly for people who are presumably long since dead.

The title text jokes that since the wedding ring lies on the lower (oceanic) plate, the oceanic crust and continental crust are "getting married". Of course, [[Beret Guy|most]] humans wouldn't be able to see the sight of the wedding ring, due to it being underground, and in the {{w|mantle}}, where no human could reach anyway — assuming that it hadn't already been mechanically deformed (crushed, mangled and/or broken apart) by the action of being sandwiched between two continental masses, and eventually melted.

==Transcript==

[A large structure resembling a bridge has been positioned over the intersection of two tectonic plates, one under the ocean and one forming a jagged, mountainous coast, with one "foot" on each plate. A winch is hanging from the center of the bridge, connected to a chain which is hooked into the oceanic crust. The winch is pulling up the crust, causing it to fold and wrinkle. Cueball and Ponytail are standing on one large fold next to where the chain is hooked to the crust, and another Cueball is standing on the continental crust. Oceanic Cueball has his arms up. On a portion of subducted oceanic crust, far below the ground, a small shining lump is visible.]

[Winch:] click click click

[Caption below panel:]
PSA: Please stay out of the Pacific Ocean today. Someone lost their wedding ring in a subduction zone and USGS is pulling the plate back up to retrieve it.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

3218: Subduction Retrieval

2026-03-12T12:25:58Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */ edited the crane sounds for clarity and formatting

{{comic
| number = 3218
| date = March 11, 2026
| title = Subduction Retrieval
| image = subduction_retrieval_2x.png
| imagesize = 502x347px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Aww, the oceanic crust and the continental crust are getting married!
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by a SUBDUCTION LICENSE. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

This comic is a {{w|public service announcement}} (PSA) telling the reader to stay out of the {{w|Pacific Ocean}} on the current day. The reason for this is explained to be that someone has lost their wedding ring in a {{w|subduction zone}}. This is a boundary where two {{w|tectonic plates}} in the Earth's crust collide, and one plate dives beneath the other into the {{w|Earth's mantle}}. The ring can be seen glimmering on the upper surface of the subducted oceanic plate, in the {{w|accretionary wedge}} below the continental plate. Given that the rate at which this occurs is of a few centimetres per year at most, and assuming that the characters shown are drawn to scale and are of average human stature, it can be estimated that the ring has been in the subduction zone for about 200 years. Possibly this time has been needed to localise it and then deploy the heavy engineering displayed.

As a result, the {{w|United States Geological Survey}} (USGS) is "pulling the plate back up" to retrieve the ring. This would be a ridiculous idea, since no man-made machine is capable of moving entire tectonic plates{{cn}}. Even if it were possible, it is unlikely that the USGS, a national organization, would invest the time and effort required for such an operation for the relatively trivial purpose of retrieving a wedding ring, particularly for people who are presumably long since dead.

The title text jokes that since the wedding ring lies on the lower (oceanic) plate, the oceanic crust and continental crust are "getting married". Of course, [[Beret Guy|most]] humans wouldn't be able to see the sight of the wedding ring, due to it being underground, & in the {{w|mantle}}, where no human could reach anyway, without melting in the intense heat.

==Transcript==

[A large crane machine, with one foot in the sea & another on the neighboring plate, is using a winch to pull up a tectonic plate from the mantle, containing a wedding ring latched on to it. Two people (Cueball & Ponytail) stand on the pulled-up plate, presumably surveying the lift, & a third person (A second Cueball) stands on a neighboring (unaffected) plate, watching the scene. The second plate itself has various hills & crannies on it.]

[Crane:] click click click

[Caption below panel:]
PSA: Please stay out of the Pacific Ocean today. Someone lost their wedding ring in a subduction zone and USGS is pulling the plate back up to retrieve it.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

1518: Typical Morning Routine

2026-03-11T15:41:38Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */ italicized the bleeping

{{comic
| number = 1518
| date = April 29, 2015
| title = Typical Morning Routine
| image = typical_morning_routine.png
| titletext = Hang on, I've heard this problem. We need to pour water into the duct until the phone floats up and ... wait, phones sink in water. Mercury. We need a vat of mercury to pour down the vent. That will definitely make this situation better and not worse.
}}

==Explanation==
Waking up to an alarm can be annoying, especially when it is your partner's alarm, and they are slow to wake up and even then have difficulty figuring out how to turn the alarm off. This comic takes this situation to a ridiculous extreme, from whence the comic derives its humor, especially when paired with the title describing this situation as a "Typical Morning Routine". Of course the typical could refer only to the part of the "routine" until the phone is dropped into an air vent.

In this comic, [[Hairy]] with morning hair is shown using his smartphone as his alarm clock. Another unseen person is sharing the bed with Hairy and growing more irate as Hairy's alarm continues beeping.

Even simple actions like turning off an alarm can be easily fumbled by a just-awakened groggy person. In this case, Hairy accidentally exited the alarm app without stopping the alarm. In some OSes, simply exiting the app doesn't close it, requiring you to use the app switcher to close it.

After giving up on shutting down the alarm the usual way, Hairy, in annoyance, decides to remove the battery, which will disable the phone's entire operation. However, while trying to remove the battery in the dark, he accidentally drops his device down a floor {{w|air vent}} (most likely part of {{w|forced air}} {{w|central heating}} common in North America) next to the bed. While the vent is covered by a grille, it is apparently coarse enough (or perhaps missing a few pieces, creating a large hole) to allow the phone to pass through if it falls at a particular location and angle. Also, the vent apparently does not descend very far before bending, allowing the phone to survive the fall intact.

As of when this comic was posted, [[Randall]] uses both iOS and Android according to [[1508: Operating Systems]]—although there is no reason to be certain that the character in this comic is using the same operating systems as Randall. However, the fact that Hairy tries to remove the battery strongly suggests it cannot be an iOS device, given that all iOS devices have non-removable batteries.

If he were a little handy, Hairy might be able to open the vent and retrieve the phone—or perhaps not, if the phone slid further into the ventwork or Hairy lacked the necessary tools. Instead of trying to physically recover the phone, Hairy attempts to remotely {{w|Brick (electronics)|brick}} the phone from his laptop, permanently disabling all its functions (including the alarm app).

This attempt fails because Hairy had accidentally put the device into {{w|airplane mode}} before dropping his phone, thereby cutting off all {{w|wireless}} communications with the device and preventing any attempt at remote control. Airplane mode also has the unfortunate (in this situation) side effect of increasing the phone's battery life (though playing loud sounds incessantly should still limit it to a day or so, notwithstanding the pessimistic assessment of Hairy's companion).

Rather than finding a solution to the problem with the phone, Hairy proposes that they just move out instead.

Relevant for the title text: There is a semi-common logic puzzle involving a ping-pong ball falling down a pipe with a kink in it. In this puzzle, the solution is to pour water into the pipe until the ping-pong ball floats up.

In the title text, one of the two characters remembers this problem and attempts to apply it to this situation. Since phones do not float in water, a modified version is proposed using {{w|Mercury (element)|mercury}} instead. The phone would certainly float on mercury, as it is a very dense liquid (the only metal that is liquid at room temperature).

The extremely toxic nature of mercury makes pouring it into the air supply a very dangerous idea. Also the required amount of mercury would be extremely expensive. The weight of the mercury would also be substantial (13.5 kg/liter or 113 lb/gallon), and would likely break something in the air duct system. Both mercury and water could also push the phone further into the duct system instead of bringing it back. The end of the title text, declaring that the mercury idea would ''definitely make this situation better and not worse'' could be either a sarcastic commentary on these problems or a desperate attempt to bolster confidence that this extreme solution will work when everything else has failed.

Given that Hairy was willing to sacrifice the phone anyway (by attempting to brick it), he would probably be better off pouring water down the vent; it wouldn't bring the phone within reach, but – provided the phone isn't sufficiently waterproof – it would disable and thereby silence it.

Of course, Hairy probably wouldn't have gotten into this mess if he had not just been awakened brutally by a very loud alarm, making it difficult to think clearly (or, alternatively, if he just had a standard alarm clock that he could have unplugged or even a mechanical one that he could, say, {{tvtropes|Main/RingRingCrunch|hit with a hammer until it broke}}; or just flip the off switch).

==Transcript==
:[The panel is completely black, with white text. Small lines indicate from where the two voices are coming, and also from where the alarm goes off. A small broken square surrounds the first word spoken.]
:Alarm: '''''Bleep Bleep'''''
:Voice (right): Urgh
:Voice (left): Your alarm is going off
:Voice (right): Huh?
:Voice (left): Make it stop.
:Voice (right) Urrgh

:[The panel is completely black, with white text. Small lines indicate from where the two voices are coming. Several small lines surrounds the last "sound" which is not spoken. The alarm noise is continued from the previous panel and continues over the top of the frame directly into the next panel.]
:Alarm: '''''Bleep Bleep Bleep B'''''
:Voice (left): Hit snooze.
:Voice (right): I'm ''trying''. I closed the alarm app and I can't... I'll just pop out the battery.
:Voice (right): Whoops!
:Clang

:[The lights have turned on so it is now a white panel with black text. The voice to the right came from Hairy with morning hair. He is leaning over the side of the bed, looking down the air vent through which he has dropped the phone. The other person to the left is not shown. The alarm noise (now coming from the air vent as visualized by the lines coming out of the vent) still continues from the previous panel and continues over the top of the frame directly into the next panel.]
:Alarm: '''''eep Bleep Bleep Ble'''''
:Off-Screen voice: Make it stop!
:Hairy: It... fell down the vent.

:[Hairy is sitting in his bed with a laptop. The person to the left is still off-screen. The alarm noise still continues from the previous panel and continues over the top of the frame out of the comic on the right.]
:Alarm: '''''ep Bleep Bleep Bleep Ble'''''
:Off-Screen voice: Can you brick it remotely?
:Hairy: Trying... I think I fumbled it into airplane mode?
:Off-Screen voice: The battery could last for weeks.
:Hairy: You know, maybe we should just move.

==Trivia==

This comic follows a similar storyline to [[349: Success]] and [[530: I'm An Idiot]], where [[Cueball]], like Hairy here, encounters an issue and attempts progressively more absurd solutions.

There is a callback to this in the title text of [[1946: Hawaii]].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Sarcasm]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Phones]]

1256: Questions

2026-03-10T15:36:01Z

Amateurautist: /* Section Eleven */ added an explanation about the vestibular system for "why is there liquid in my ear"

{{distinguish|1448: Question|common=Questions}}
{{comic
| number = 1256
| date = August 26, 2013
| title = Questions
| image = questions.png
| titletext = To whoever typed 'why is arwen dying': GOOD. FUCKING. QUESTION.
}}
A larger version of the picture can be found [https://xkcd.com/1256/large here].

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|
;Does not explain the juxtaposition jokes
This article is a little overly literal and fails to explain the actual recurring joke of the comic, which is the juxtaposition of related searches in specific orders for a humorous implication. For example, the [[#Section Six|series of spider-related searches]] capped with, "Why are spider bites itchy?", implying that the person who was distressed about all the spiders has been bitten. Simply including the answers to the questions doesn't actually explain the source of humor.}}
{{w|Google}} has a feature known as [https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/106230?hl=en autocomplete] that guesses at search queries before they are fully typed out. These guesses are generally made based on popular searches by other people. From time to time, a particularly strange or hilarious one may be found, as is evidenced in this comic.

All the questions in the comic are "why" questions, so many of them are predicated on false assumptions, such as "Why are there pyramids on the Moon". Originally, all these questions and many more (33,171 in total) could be found at [http://xkcd.com/why.txt xkcd.com/why.txt] (now defunct, [https://web.archive.org/web/20170510061043/https://xkcd.com/why.txt archived version]).

There are many reasons Randall may have chosen to highlight so many disparate questions without answers. Some questions have simple answers, some are difficult, some have many different potential answers, but all of them show humans seeking knowledge. There are no stupid questions.

The sections below explain each question by splitting the comic into arbitrary blocks. As a general rule, section numbers work top to bottom, then right to left. A Reddit user has also [https://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/1l3na7/questions/cbvigrd answered all the questions].

===Title text===
The title text is a reference to the Peter Jackson films of {{w|The Lord of the Rings (film series)|''The Lord of the Rings'' trilogy}}, where Arwen becomes sickly for unspecified reasons as the plot advances, apparently giving Aragorn a more personal reason to fight. The only explanation given is by Elrond, who says "As Sauron's power grows, her [Arwen's] strength wanes." This subplot is entirely absent from the {{w|The Lord of the Rings|original novels}}.

From [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0167260/faq#.2.1.21 IMDB]: <blockquote>
Arwen, like her father (and brothers) is considered to be a Half-Elf, the result of a union between an Elf and a mortal human. The Half-Elven of Middle-earth get a choice, to remain immortal and return to the West (Valinor) or to become mortal and to die as humans do. Elrond chose to remain an Elf. Arwen (like her uncle Elros) chooses to become mortal in order to wed and remain with Aragorn. Elrond senses this; this is what he means when he says that Arwen is dying. It is the same as in The Last Unicorn, when the unicorn is given the form of a human woman and can feel that she is no longer immortal ("I can feel this body dying all around me"). According to Tolkien, though, after Aragorn dies in the year 120 (Fourth Age), Arwen returns to Lórien, where she dies by choice the following winter. </blockquote>

===Illustrated panels===

; Why aren't my arms growing?
: Arms stop growing because longer arms would not be a very useful way to spend resources. Human DNA has programmed the body to gradually ossify (turn to bone) the growing arms and legs, closing the {{w|epiphyseal plate}} (the flat plate at the end of each long bone), at which point they stop growing. Alternately, the muscles of the arm, which may have been the intended subject of the question, may fail to grow if not exercised with appropriate resistance, repetition or frequency; if nutrition is insufficient; if insufficient recovery time is given; or if sufficient levels of certain hormones like growth hormone or testosterone are not present.

; Why are there ghosts?
: There is no hard evidence of ghosts. The reason you are seeing ghosts could be {{w|pareidolia}} or some {{w|cognitive bias}}.

; Why are there squirrels?
: Squirrels are the product of a long sequence of evolution, like any other animal. They persist because they effectively reproduce and compete for resources within their niche, but they are also the product of many circumstantial events that has led to them being the way they are.

; Why is sex so important?
: Sex is important biologically because it is the primary method of reproduction in many different species. It is important culturally because it causes hard-to-control urges that affect behaviour, plays an important role in human relationships, and serves as a key form of [https://www.dissentmagazine.org/article/seizing-means-reproduction-laura-briggs-reproductive-politics-review/ reproductive labor]. However, it can be of varying importance to different people (see [https://www.asexuality.org/home/?q=overview.html asexuality]).

; Why aren't there guns in Harry Potter?
: In the ''{{w|Harry Potter}}'' universe, [https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Gun guns ''do'' exist] and are mentioned at the beginning of ''{{w|Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban}}'', when the news gives a warning that Sirius Black has one. Muggle technology (human inventions) are often looked down on by wizards - the majority of half-blooded wizards won't touch one, let alone a wizard extremist like {{w|Voldemort}}. Not only does any Muggle device more complex than a wristwatch interfere with magical artifacts, but wands are usually more versatile than most guns; a revolver can't shoot lightning, summon items, or teleport its user. Finally, while Harry himself may or may not consider using firearms due to his Muggle upbringing, ''Harry Potter'' is set in the United Kingdom (which has stricter gun laws than, say, the United States).

===Vertical questions===

; Why is there hell if God forgives?
: There is not a single answer to this question. The answer varies based on the religion and that religion's sect mixed with personal interpretations of that religions scripture and how a person decides to follow it. However, the idea of what Hell will be like also varies. There is no one answer to this question, but the easiest explanation is that the individual did not pray hard enough, correctly, was not part of the right religion, and their forgiveness was contingent on something that the person either did not do or know to do (or say or think).

; Why do iguanas die?
: All living things die,{{cn}} but iguanas may suffer from [https://www.anapsid.org/iguana/kidneyfailure.html kidney failure].

; Why is GPS free?
: GPS was originally developed by the U.S. military for its own use, not for commercial purposes. However, the government realized that free GPS would have a significant bonus for the economy and would prevent disasters like the {{w|Korean Air Lines Flight 007}} where a plane was shot down after accidentally entering Soviet airspace, and in 1983 President Reagan declared that the US would make GPS available to all. At one point, "{{w|selective availability}}" was used to degrade performance for civilian users, but since 2000 this has also been switched off.

; Why are trees tall?
: Tall is a relative term, and Redwoods are famous for their height - among the tallest in the world. The reason for this is, in part [https://www.nps.gov/redw/faqs.htm climate, fog, rain, good soil, few predators, among others].

; Why are there female Mr. Mimes?
: {{w|Mr. Mime}} is a Pokémon introduced in the first generation of the games, and despite its name, it can be either of a male or female gender. As the Pokémon was introduced before the concept of [https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Gender gender in Pokémon games], it is likely that the people in charge of translating its Japanese name (Barrierd) did not take this into account during the process.

; Why is there lava?
: {{w|Lava}} is magma (molten rock) which is at the Earth's surface. Magma in the Earth comes from the melting of rock due to rising heat from deeper within the planet. {{w|Earth's internal heat budget|This heat}} is about half radiogenic and half primordial (left over from the formation and differentiation of the Earth). Most of the crust and mantle of the Earth is solid rock, but in places (usually controlled by plate tectonics, but {{w|Hawaii hotspot|not always}}) where the heat is high enough the minerals with lowest melting point start to melt and then migrate upwards towards the surface. This melt collects in {{w|Magma chamber|magma chambers}}, in which the magma may start to cool and crystallize. Sometimes it will crystallize completely, becoming an underground solid body called a pluton. Other times melt will keep migrating upwards until it reaches the surface and erupts as lava, forming a {{w|volcano}} or undersea vent.

; Why is YKK on all zippers?
: {{w|YKK}} Group is the name of a large group of Japanese manufacturing companies, which among other things manufacture a lot of zippers. YKK zippers are also considered to be some of the best available, so a clothing maker including a YKK zipper would likely leave the YKK name on, instead of getting no branding or rebranding them.

; Why is life so boring?
: It is up to an individual to find meaning and interest in life. Monotony, predictability, and lack of physical and intellectual stimulation would lead to a feeling of boredom.

; Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?
: Ghosts are a supernatural phenomenon that have not been empirically proven to exist. Those who believe in ghosts implicitly believe in a soul (of which a ghost is a materialization of), and it is a commonly held belief by religious institutions and ghost-hunters that animals do not have souls and thus dinosaurs would not have any either.

; Why is there no king in England?
: At the time of publication, {{w|Elizabeth II}} was the Queen of England, and continued to be so for another decade, ending up having been so for over 70 years.

:In colloquial usage, any married couple reigning over a monarchy is known as the king and queen. For the past several hundred years, there has almost always been a queen in England, the sole exceptions being when the king has not had a wife. (Also, "England" is commonly used as the equivalent to "The United Kingdom", often incorrectly.) However, there is a distinction between being the Queen of England (that is to say, {{w|List of British monarchs|a monarch}} in her own right) and any {{w|queen consort|Queen ''Consort''}} of England (the woman married to, or who later marries, the man who has become its King).

:Monarchies tend to strongly select for Kings (with or without consorts). At times of strife, very few {{w|Empress Matilda|'queen's}} enter the fray. Peaceful {{w|succession to the British throne}} has been for a long governed in England by {{w|male-preference cognatic primogeniture}} which disproportionately favours male descendants. And British laws and customs have been generally built around the presumption that the monarch would be a man, and that man would be married to a woman, [[223: Valentine's Day|comic 223]] be damned. The consort (wife) to the King may be popularly styled as "Queen <her name>" but would not normally be a functional title. If she survives her husband, {{w|Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother|her continued use of the honorific}} does not exclude the successive monarch having (or being) a new queen.

:Despite everything, throughout the {{w|Acts of Union 1707|current continuity of the modern British throne}} two women have begun to reign as Queen in their own right. It just so happens that these two have been two of the longest-reigning monarchs in world history, {{w|Queen Victoria}} and Queen Elizabeth II herself. Both of these have been influential and famed not just in 'England' but around the world, and this fact may add to people noting the rare but conspicuous lack of an 'English' king historically (despite five times as many actual Kings). This is especially true within the living memory of those who asked the questions in the comic, who may never have lived through the time prior to Elizabeth II.

:The title of "{{w|king consort}}" exists but has not been used. Instead Victoria and Elizabeth's respective consorts, {{w|Albert, Prince Consort|Albert}} and {{w|Prince Philip|Philip}}, were given alternate titles — Albert as {{w|Prince Consort}} and Philip as "{{w|British prince|Prince of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland}}" (both commonly referred to as "Prince ..."). These titles being by gift of their own queen and spouse, though Albert was already formally a prince of {{w|Saxe-Coburg and Gotha}} whilst Philip had previously been prince of {{w|Danish royal family|Denmark}} and {{w|Greek royal family|Greece}} but had renounced both titles before marrying then-Princess Elizabeth. Earlier in history, various {{w|Mary II of England|co-ruling queens}}, and {{w|Elizabeth I|unmarried queens}} had also avoided any need for the "consort" title.

:Much more recently, the system of male-preference {{w|Succession to the Crown Act 2013|was changed}} to ''absolute'' primogeniture, where (for all those born after 2011) males are no longer favoured over females, in the otherwise strict chronology of descent. Should the monarchy continue onwards without further social change, there are now likely to be far more actual Queens in the future (with or without consorts); however, already the first three members of Elizabeth II's senior line of descent are male: Prince Charles, as was, Elizabeth's eldest son; Prince William, Charles's eldest son; and Prince George, William's eldest child (being born in 2013).

:It would still likely take a while (or unpredictable circumstances) before England has its next Queen in her own right and the question becomes relevent again. Since Elizabeth's death in September 2022, {{w|Charles III}} has indeed automatically become the King of England, and his current wife {{w|Camilla, Queen consort of the United Kingdom|Camilla}} is Queen Consort (but not formally the Queen of England). No further children are expected, nor would any normally change the immediate line of succession. The second child of William, {{w|Princess Charlotte of Cornwall and Cambridge|Princess Charlotte}} (born 2015), now rises accordingly to be third in line from Charles — behind William and her elder brother, at least until such time as George might himself eventually have an heir of his own, male or female.

; Why do I feel dizzy?
: Balance is achieved from fluids in the inner ear, but {{w|Dizziness#Epidemiology|dizziness}} can have nearly a dozen causes.

; Why are dogs afraid of fireworks?
: Loud noises can trigger their flight or fight responses when they are [https://www.cesarsway.com/dogbehavior/hyperdog/How-to-Keep-Your-Dog-Safe-and-Calm-During-Fireworks nervous].

; Why are there weeks?
: Weeks were originally important for religious reasons, primarily the requirement to observe a sabbath (day of rest) every seventh day. Today it is used to create a common schedule that doesn't change due to month length, much like the months divide a year to be able to schedule things like dentist appointments. Similarly, hours and minutes divide a day making it possible to create a schedule.

===Section One===
; Why do whales jump?
: Partly to get air, partly because it's an effective way to catch prey near the surface, and partly because they just seem to find it fun - it's like going into outer space!{{Actual citation needed}}

; Why are witches green?
: See {{w|The Wizard of Oz (1939 film)|The Wizard of Oz}}. The Wicked Witch' green skin looked really good in the film's {{w|Technicolor}}.

; Why are there mirrors above beds?
: Often, these are used by couples to view themselves during sex.

; Why do I say Uh?
: See ''[https://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/05/06/the_odd_body_language_fillers/ Why do we say 'um', 'er', or 'ah' when we hesitate in speaking?]''.

; Why is sea salt better?
: The question likely refers to the difference between common {{w|Fortified table salt}} and usually more expensive sea salt. While a major part of both of these is sodium chloride (NaCl) the idea behind the claim is the different composition mostly in regard to trace elements of sea salt compared to "normal" salt. Table salt's composition is often influenced by a country's health department and thus addition of trace elements is regulated. While these regulations are based on scientific studies there remain to be debates concerning the additions, such as iodine.

; Why are there trees in the middle of fields?
: Many images of fields contain singular trees in the middle of them. While there exist such trees it is likely an artistic choice to give a more pleasing or aesthetically satisfying image compared to just a field. In modern agriculture those would in fact be quite troublesome since they are a hindrance to large machines used and a new tree would be unlikely to grow in a constantly worked field, although they can be useful in fields for grazing animals, since they provide shade. Before mechanized agriculture, such trees would also be planted to give the workers a place to rest in the shade without having to go all the way back from a large field.

; Why is there not a Pokémon MMO?
: {{w|Pokémon}} is a popular franchise, spanning game consoles, anime series, a trading card game, and many other things. Among fans, it is a frequent topic of discussion why a Pokémon {{w|massively multiplayer online game}} has not been officially announced by the series' developers {{w|Game Freak}}, as they often [https://www.dorkly.com/comic/52546/be-careful-what-you-wish-for predict] that such a game would be extremely popular and bring in massive revenue for the company. However, if Game Freak were to develop a Pokémon MMO the MMOs would be strong competition against the console games and therefore reducing the Pokémon demographic significantly. The mobile app {{w|Pokémon Go}} has since partly filled the MMO niche, with multiplayer interactivity through item drops and fighting at gyms.

; Why is there laughing in TV shows?
: Sitcoms were once filmed with an audience, so the actors could respond to their reactions. That's the historical reason there were laughs in TV shows. The tradition continues, with the difference that now the laughter mostly comes from recorded tapes. See {{w|Laugh track}}.

; Why are there doors on the freeway?
: Highway/freeway {{w|noise barrier|noise barriers}} sometimes have doors in them to allow workers access to both sides of the barrier. They also serve as emergency exits in case of large traffic collisions (which can cause fire and smoke), for people to leave on foot.

; Why are there so many svchost.exe running?
: See {{w|svchost.exe}}.

; Why aren't there any countries in Antarctica?
: {{w|Antarctica}} is the southernmost continent and is by large covered in ice and in general pretty cold. While it is a regular target of tourists and researchers it also lacks native human inhabitants. At the moment, the territorial claims concerning Antarctica are mostly handled via the {{w|Antarctic Treaty System}}. In short there are a few countries who claim certain parts of the continent as their own in theory but so far it is considered neutral territory and most maps don't concern themselves with displaying the (in some regards disputed) territorial claims because they do not matter at this point in time. If there are ever any worthwhile resources discovered, this might change.

; Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft?
: To add atmosphere and to give players hints when there is a dark cave nearby. See [https://minecraft.wiki/w/Ambience Ambience Minecraft Wiki].

; Why is there kicking in my stomach?
: See ''[https://www.webmd.com/baby/fetal-movement-feeling-baby-kick Feeling Your Baby Kick]''. Here, ''stomach'' means ''abdomen''.

; Why are there two slashes after http?
: See ''[https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1220286/Sir-Tim-Berners-Lee-admits-forward-slashes-web-address-mistake.html Sir Tim Berners-Lee admits the forward slashes in every web address 'were a mistake']''.

; Why are there celebrities?
: There are certain people who are more respected and well-known than other people, whether it be because of their acting career, major advancements to science, or a sex tape.

; Why do snakes exist?
: The question is rather general and likely based on a widespread dislike for the reptilians. Be it due to their appearance, their spread, or the danger a few snakes pose to humans (often due to being venomous) many people have a dislike for snakes and would prefer them to not exist (similar to spiders). In regard to "why do snakes exist on earth?": Because evolution. Snakes fill a gap in the ecosystem as predators and hunt different species, including vermin. Snakes are in that regard similar to many other predatory animals. The question on why snakes developed with their distinct streamlined shape is still debated but {{w|snakes|likely it either provided an advantage when burrowing or swimming}}.

; Why do oysters have pearls?
: {{w|Pearl}}s are formed inside the shell of certain mollusks as a defense mechanism against a potentially threatening irritant such as a parasite inside the shell, or an attack from outside, injuring the mantle tissue. The mollusk creates a pearl sac to seal off the irritation. Pearls are commonly viewed by scientists as a by-product of an adaptive immune system-like function.

; Why are ducks called ducks?
: See {{w|Duck#Etymology|Duck § Etymology}}. {{Wiktionary|duck|According to Wiktionary}}, the noun ''duck'' can be traced back to the {{w|Proto-Germanic language|Proto-Germanic}} word {{Wiktionary|Appendix:Proto-Germanic/dūkaną|''dūkaną''}} ("to dive, bend down"), and, in turn, the {{w|Proto-Indo-European language|Proto-Indo-European}} {{Wiktionary|Appendix:Proto-Indo-European/dʰewb-|''dʰewb-''}} ("deep, hollow"), which is the origin of the verb ''to duck''. The link between the noun and the verb comes from ducks' tendency to dive under water for short periods of time.

; Why do they call it the clap?
: Paris' medieval Red Light district was called "les clapiers" (the rabbit cages), therefore people were getting {{w|gonorrhea}} there

; Why are Kyle and Cartman friends?
: The question relates to the TV show {{w|South Park}}. Both are children living in the small titular town in Colorado. Cartman is widely accepted to a be very bad person, one of his many character flaws being his antisemitism. Kyle on the other hand is a Jew. However, both, along with two other kids, Stan and Kenny, are the core focus of the show (or used to be) and to some extents are considered to be friends. While there are episodes which show Cartman being not entirely a horrible person and him holding Kyle in a position of at least a worthy adversary, most of the time the question should be "Why is anyone friends with Cartman?" However, they most likely remain "friends" because they are in the same class at school and are therefore "forced" to be around one another.

; Why is there an arrow on Aang's head?
: {{w|Avatar: The Last Airbender#Characters|Aang}} is the main character of the TV series {{w|Avatar the last Airbender|Avatar - The Last Airbender}} and features as part of a large body spanning tattoo an arrow on his head. These tattoos are made to replicate the markings of one of the shows fictional animals, the air bison which are regarded as the original air benders. They are given to human air benders once they attain the status of masters. Because Aang acquired this status very early in life he was already tattooed accordingly.

; Why are text messages blue?
: This likely refers to iMessage chat being blue. These messages are blue when sending a message to another Apple device. When sent as an RCS or SMS message, they will be green.

; Why are there mustaches on clothes?
: Because some people buy them. Mustaches, especially handlebar-style mustaches, were a popular fad at the time of this comic.

; Why are there mustaches on cars?
: Fuzzy pink mustaches are used to designate cars in the {{w|Lyft}} service.

; Why are there mustaches everywhere?
: See {{w|Movember}}

; Why are there so many birds in Ohio?
: There are an estimated [https://oh.audubon.org/bsc/SOTB.html 400 bird species] in {{w|List of birds of Ohio|Ohio}}, but there are [https://www.jstor.org/discover/2419997sid=21104910103541&uid=4&uid=3739776&uid=2&uid=3739256 2.74 nesting pairs per acre].

; Why is there so much rain in Ohio?
: {{w|lake_effect|Lake-effect}} rain develops in the same manner as lake-effect snow.

; Why is Ohio weather so weird?
: See {{w|Lake-effect snow}}.

===Section Two===

; Why are there male and female bikes?
: Historically, women's {{w|bicycle}} frames had a top tube that connected in the middle of the seat tube instead of the top, resulting in a lower {{w|Frame geometry|standover height}} at the expense of compromised structural integrity, since this places a strong bending load in the seat tube, and bicycle frame members are typically weak in bending. This design, referred to as a {{w|step-through frame}} or as an open frame, allows the rider to mount and dismount in a dignified way while wearing a skirt or dress.</blockquote>

; Why are there bridesmaids?
: See {{w|Bridesmaid#Origin and history|Bridesmaid § Origin and history}}.

; Why do dying people reach up?
: In many works of fiction dying people are regarded with an outstretched arm, grasping for unseen objects towards the sky. In all likelihood this originates in the idea of heaven as the place where (good) people go after death. People "reach for the light" which is seen when dying according to similar beliefs or possibly for already dead relatives or other associated people waiting for them. An alternative hypothesis is that they want to hug/touch their loved ones one last time.

; Why aren't there varicose arteries?
: Blood moves through veins due to irregular pressure from skeletal muscles combined with valves to control direction. In varicose veins these valves malfunction affecting blood flow. In arteries blood flow is produced directly from pressure caused by the heart.

; Why are old Klingons different?
: {{w|Klingon Redesign|From Wikipedia}}: <blockquote>For {{w|Star Trek: The Motion Picture}} (1979), the Klingons were retconned, and their appearance and behavior radically changed. To give the aliens a more sophisticated and threatening demeanor, the Klingons were depicted with ridged foreheads, snagged and prominent teeth, and a defined language and alphabet. Lee Cole, a production designer, used red gels and primitive shapes in the design of Klingon consoles and ship interiors, which took on a dark and moody atmosphere. The alphabet was designed as angular, with sharp edges harkening to the Klingon's militaristic focus.[5] Costume designer Robert Fletcher created new uniforms for the Klingons, reminiscent of feudal Japanese armor.</blockquote>Additionally, there is an in-universe explanation: A [https://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Klingon_augment_virus Klingon augment virus] was deployed to make enhanced warriors, but accidentally made weaker Klingons with human-like features. These afflicted Klingons were the ones seen in the original series.

; Why is programming so hard?
: Programming is the art of writing instructions for a computer to do. Since the computer has a limited set of instructions for you to use it involves a new way of thinking for many. It is also hard because the computer itself is not smart or adaptable to unexpected problems. For instance, when humans are told to sort books in a shelf, they can do that even if there are things in the way (simply moving them to the side). A computer will generally just crash if it doesn't have instructions on how to deal with the unexpected problem.

; Why is there a 0 Ohm resistor?
: A resistor is usually designed to create a certain resistance, measured in {{w|Ohm}} in an electronic device. A 0 Ohm resistor seems pointless as it would only provide the same resistance as a normal cable. However, a 0 Ohm resistor works as an easy way to connect two points of a circuit board utilizing the same machines used to place other resistors. Wikipedia's {{w|Zero-ohm link}} article gives a good explanation.

; Why do Americans hate soccer?
: Soccer, or (association) football in British English, is rather unpopular in the USA compared to most other regions of the world. Finding a particular reason behind the (dis)like for certain sports, apart from cultural spread, is difficult. One possible explanation is soccer's tendency to have far fewer points scored in an average game and a higher likelihood of draws compared to such things as American Football, basketball or baseball, which are far more popular. In how far this is a legitimate argument for regarding soccer as "less interesting" is up to debate. The assumption that Americans dislike soccer is also somewhat dated; the national Womens' team is the most successful in the world, having won 4 FIFA Women's World Cups and consistently encouraging more youngsters to take up the sport. Unfortunately, when it comes to the professional game, the National Soccer League still has a long way to go to catch up with the dominance and name recognition of the NFL (American football) (due primarily to the spectacle of the Super Bowl), the MLB (baseball) (partly credited to the dominance of the New York Yankees and the pageantry of the World Series), and the NBA (basketball), due to the makeup of the American professional sports industry during its golden years in the 1970s & 80s.

; Why do rhymes sound good?
: The brain enjoys repetition, especially in music.

; Why do trees die?
: Some common reasons include lack of water, lack of nitrogen in the soil, soil, root and wind damage, and being chopped down.

; Why is there no sound on CNN?
: Some stations broadcast a {{w|second audio program}}, an alternative soundtrack that your TV can be configured to use instead of the primary program. This is intended to be used for broadcasting in an alternate language, or for {{w|Descriptive Video Service}} to make a program accessible to the visually impaired. Many programs that don't actually use SAP will still broadcast an SAP that is identical to the primary program; however, this is not required. If your TV is configured to use SAP and a particular channel isn't broadcasting SAP at that time, there won't be any sound.

; Why aren't Pokémon real?
: Pokémon are fantasized creatures that were designed to produce an interesting battle mechanic in a game. Some of the Pokémons abilities would be impossible on earth as we know it. For instance, Magcargo is [https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Magcargo#Trivia hotter than the surface of the sun].

; Why aren't bullets sharp?
: See {{w|Terminal ballistics}}.

; Why do dreams seem so real?
: Most dreams occur during a stage known as REM (Rapid Eye Movement). During REM, your brain is highly active, and its wave pattern is the same as the wave patterns in a person who is awake. It should be noted that dreams can occur during other stages of sleep but most dreams that are vivid occur during the REM stage.

===Section Three===

; Why do testicles move?
: The scrotum shrinks and expands to account for temperature changes.

; Why are there psychics?
: A {{w|Psychic}} is a supposed user of anomalous powers. Studies have classified psychic powers as pseudoscience. The existence of psychics appears to be as an economic incentive.

; Why are hats so expensive?
: Hats can be expensive depending on the quality of material, size, location, and demand. A probable answer is that hats are simply difficult to make, causing high prices. Another likely cause is the fact that hats are not widely worn in much of the western world and people who do wear them often have far fewer than they have, for example, shirts, meaning that manufacturers cannot get the same economies of scale in production and distribution.

; Why is there caffeine in my shampoo?
: Because the producers want you to believe that caffeine penetrates the hair roots and thereby somehow protects it from negative testosterone impacts and from premature hair loss.

; Why do your boobs hurt?
: Common reasons are a badly fitted bra, breast growth, or {{w|PMS}}. It could also be a hormone imbalance, breastfeeding, large or awkwardly shaped breasts or a serious condition such as {{w|breast cancer}}.

===Section Four===

; Why aren't economists rich?
: Economists study how society organizes resources but, contrary to the popular misconception, don't focus much on the short-term behavior of the stock market (a system that is still poorly understood). In order to become rich, in most cases one has to own a commodity that produces more wealth, such as a large company, or be related to somebody who has done so. In rare cases, a particularly lucky individual could become rich by having an unusually high paying job, such as a famous actor or sports star. Neither of these situations are likely for someone studying the field of economics. Some economists do get very rich as strategists for banks and businesses, but most are just academics and analysts.

; Why do Americans call it soccer?
: {{w|Association football}} is called "soccer" ("association" + "-er") in US English because {{w|American Football}} is the more popular version there. Of note is that the word "soccer" originates on British soil, to distinguish it from Rugby football aka "rugger".

; Why are my ears ringing?
: {{w|Tinnitus}}, or ringing of the ears, can result from stress, foreign objects in the ear, hearing damage, wax build up, or any other number of causes.

; Why are there so many Avengers?
: The number of Avengers has {{w|List of Avengers members|varied greatly}} over the years and decades, each time with its own justification for why they need to work together, but the simplest answer is money. Cross-branding and cross-merchandising is successful to the brand and brings in new readers, plus creates a new franchise to profit from.

; Why are the Avengers fighting the X Men
: {{w|Avengers vs. X-Men}} was a 2012 Marvel crossover event that, like many other recent comic book events, had heroes fight other heroes. In this case, the {{w|Avengers (comics)|Avengers}} and the {{w|X-Men}} fought over the {{w|Phoenix Force (comics)|Phoenix Force}}, a godlike power that often possesses {{w|Jean Grey}} or her descendants (in this case, her alternate universe daughter Hope Summers). The Avengers believed the Phoenix Force is too powerful for humanity to control and wanted to contain it, while the X-Men believed the Phoenix was the messiah for mutants and could fix all of the Earth's problems.

; Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers
: Wolverine ''has'' been an Avenger, in some circumstances. e.g. in the {{w|The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes}} cartoon series, the episode ''New Avengers'' had Wolverine (along with Spider-man, War Machine, The Thing and Luke Cage and Iron Fist) substitute while the 'original' Avengers were unavailable to deal with the current crisis (which of course included the fate of the 'proper' Avengers). However, in general his anti-authority personality makes him a difficult team-member to field, and he has frequently disassociated himself even from the X-Men. But, in Avengers vs. X-Men (see above) Wolverine ''sided'' with The Avengers, and more modern treatments have even included the character in about as much a permanent a membership of the group as Logan is ever likely to have. But if the question is about why Wolverine didn't appear in {{w|The Avengers (2012 film)|''The Avengers''}}, the answer is that ''The Avengers'' is being produced by Marvel/Disney, while Fox still has the rights to the X-Men and all Marvel mutants in general. Unless there is studio agreement, the two properties cannot cross, except through complicated machinations. For example, there were plans to bring Avengers mainstays Quicksilver and The Scarlet Witch to both the ''Avengers'' and ''X-Men'' franchises (plans which successfully came to pass after this comic was written) but only the Fox films had the right to call them the children of Magneto at the time, and Marvel/Disney couldn't even identify them on-screen as "mutants".

===Section Five===

; Why are there ants in my laptop?
: Ants usually come in your laptop when there are little crumbs of food. It is advised to get screen protectors.

; Why is Earth tilted?
: The Earth's axial "tilt", wherein its axis of rotation is not perpendicular it its orbit, is a result of conservation of momentum when the Earth was formed, because not everything orbits in the same way. This is pure happenstance.

; Why is space black?
: What we call black is the absence of light. Space is mostly empty, and although there are many stars, the light from most of these stars hasn't reached us yet. In addition, a lot of light has been stretched by {{w|redshift}} so it's no longer visible to us. See {{w|Olbers' paradox}}

; Why is outer space so cold?
: It's hard to actually define a temperature for space - it's empty, so there's nothing to measure. However, most of space has very little radiation hitting it, so a person won't receive any energy, but will still radiate some away, resulting in a net loss of energy, colloquially "heat." Around the Earth, objects in direct sunlight will actually get very hot. In deep space, there is almost no warming radiation.

; Why are there pyramids on the moon?
: There are no pyramids on the moon. However, the appearance of mountains and some craters on the moon have fooled some into believing there are pyramids on the moon, but these claims are false.

; Why is NASA shutting down?
: NASA isn't shutting down. This question might have something to do with the {{w|United States federal government shutdown of 2013}} or perhaps due to the {{w|Space Shuttle program}} ending in 2011, but that is not the entirety of NASA.

===Section Six===

; Why are there tiny spiders in my house?

; Why do spiders come inside?

; Why are there huge spiders in my house?

; Why are there lots of spiders in my house?

; Why are there spiders in my room?

; Why are there so many spiders in my room?
: During autumn in particular male spiders reaching maturing will set off to find a mate. By chance they may end up in your house. When encountering spiders in large numbers, it is more likely that they are young from the same female spider. Females lay {{w|Spider#Reproduction_and_life_cycle|up to 3,000}} eggs at a time. These questions also play off of Munroe's longstanding fear of spiders, especially the [[8: Red spiders|red spiders]] mentioned in [[:Category:Red Spiders|several early comics]].

; Why do spider bites itch?
: This mostly happens as an immune response to [https://www.mnn.com/health/fitness-well-being/stories/why-do-mosquito-bites-itch histamines] under the skin which are injected through saliva. This entire string of questions is intended as a joke, the implication being that they all came from one person whose house (and later room) was taken over by spiders which then bit them.

; Why is dying so scary?
: Part of human nature is the fear of the unknown, and death is the ultimate unknown because it is not knowable until it's experienced, and there is nobody to report what the result was. This leaves it open to speculation, and many major religions are based on preparing one's soul for death. Also, dying would leave loved ones' families with the responsibility of taking care of their remains and finances. And finally, most people don't want to die, living for as long as possible, possibly because the unknown is too unbearable to cope with. Several causes of death are known to inflict pain to the victim, and fear of pain is an instilled evolutionary safeguard for preventing harm to a sapient creature. Still though several people are not afraid of death and dying, and recognize life is short and to cherish each moment while we can. Death is inevitable, so we should not fear it. In addition, it would be evolutionarily advantageous for our ancestors to have feared and avoided death.

; Why is there no GPS in laptops?
: It is possible for laptops to have a GPS, and some do. But there are [https://security.stackexchange.com/questions/50907/are-there-gps-tracker-for-laptops design difficulties] that have to be overcome including battery draining, room within the crowded device to place a receiver, WiFi can give a location just as well, and the product casing could interfere with its ability to functional normally and receive the signals necessary to operate as intended. Some Dell computers have these, but the privacy one needs to give up accepting the terms and conditions makes it unfavorable.

; Why do knees click?
: Typical of other clicking and cracking of joints, this may be the sound of [https://www.webmd.com/pain-management/knee-pain/features/knee-cracks-pops ligaments tightening]. However, do not rely on a wiki to diagnose a medical condition. Consult a licensed physician.

; Why aren't there E grades?
: E grades [https://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/02/e-f-grading-scale/ actually exist] in some districts, but they are rare. In their long and bizarre history, E was originally used where F is today (E was the lowest grade), but in those systems, students often received E's for an "Excellent" grade, creating much confusion. F was used in place instead and E was eliminated from a standard grading scale.

; Why is isolation bad?
: Isolation is when a person deliberately secludes themselves away from others, often far-removed from society. This can happen in locations as small as a city apartment and as large as the open woods. People evolved as social animals and it is generally held that those who isolate themselves suffer from depression or other forms of psychological imbalance. Of course, society can trigger many of these imbalances causing an individual to isolate themselves. Isolation is often seen as therapeutic so people can spend time with themselves constructively, often finding peace within themselves and through mediation. Monks and hermits generally live in solitude as well. Many people view a decision to be isolated as noble, and others as healthy. While general interaction is largely healthy, in the crowded modern world, isolation is neither good or bad; it depends on the person and what that isolation does to them.

; Why do boys like me?
: Attraction comes in many forms: physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, among others. Some people will lie about what they like about you to get something from you (money, sex, etc.), but most are genuine. It is not possible to assert definitively why one person may like another person, and that is something that needs to be discussed openly and honestly with them and nobody else.

; Why don't boys like me?
: Similar to the answer above about what makes one desirable to another, there are an equal number of factors that make one unappealing. This can include everything from physical appearance to how one treats others. If a person is rude and unfriendly, most people find that not conducive to healthy relationship and avoid the person who is asking. Not being liked by someone you like however does not mean you're wrong or are a bad person and, in most cases, has to do with the person you are asking about.

; Why is there always a Java update?
: [https://www.java.com/en/download/faq/whatis_java.xml Java] is a software that runs on most computers and mobile devices that is crucial to its security and stability. The reason it always updates is because it needs to stay current with the ever-upgrading fleet of browsers, operating systems and software that supports Java. Additionally, Java updates itself so each version can run optimally. Software coding and debugging is a never-ending process towards perfectly stable releases.

; Why are there red dots on my thighs?
: This might be {{w|Petechia}}, which are broken blood vessels, however, do not rely on a wiki to diagnose medical conditions. Consult a licensed physician.

; Why is lying good?
: Lying and other forms of dishonesty is typically seen as bad because it lowers one's credibility and makes them less likely to be trusted in the future. It is almost always advantageous to tell the truth, as lies have a way of escalating as you need to keep expanding on the lie to cover your tracks. There are instances however where lying may be used in more noble circumstances. For example, if a friend asks your opinion on something they have made (such as a poem or painting) that you do not like, it is okay to tell them you like it because protecting their feelings and your relationship is more important than how you feel. Often military personnel are trained to keep national security secrets at all costs and will lie about what they know to save themselves and the country.

===Section Seven===

; Why are there slaves in the bible?
: Slavery was viewed differently in the early years of human civilization before the contemporary moral and ethical conversations began centuries later. The Jewish legal system as presented in the bible {{w|The Bible and slavery|justified slavery}} for a number of reasons, notably to pay off some sort of debt. Slaves were seen as property and their work provided value to the slave owner, but such a relationship was legally required to be temporary, and slaves had some basic human rights. Similarly, slave owners rationalized their ownership through scripture, pointing out that it was in the Bible and therefore okay with God — without wishing to go off on a tangent, if you have to rationalize your system of slavery then it's probably illegal under historic Jewish law.

; Why do twins have different fingerprints?
: Fingerprints are not only from the DNA, but from the conditions in the womb which differ from child to child.

; Why are Americans afraid of dragons?
: This question was the title of a [https://blogs.sfu.ca/courses/spring2012/engl387/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Why-are-Americans-Afraid-of-Dragons.docx 1974 essay] by Ursula K. LeGeuin in which she makes a {{w|Semiotics|semiotic}} analysis of dragon mythology. She argues that our belief in dragons (and those outside of America as well) stems from childhood, much like other ferocious fictional creatures such as goblins and hobbits, but many hold onto these fears as a way of avoiding reality. In her closing argument, she writes, "They know that its truth challenges, even threatens, all that is false, all that is phony, unnecessary, and trivial in the life they have let themselves be forced into living. They are afraid of dragons, because they are afraid of freedom."

; Why is HTTPS crossed out in red?

; Why is there a line through HTTPS?
: The site accessed has an invalid SSL certificate. See [[2634: Red Line Through HTTPS]].

; Why is there a red line through HTTPS on Facebook?
: The website has an invalid SSL certificate. This may be the result of a scam, a misdirection, a typo, or some kind of configuration error in the client or the remote server.

; Why is HTTPS important?
: For security reasons, as a site with HTTPS has encrypted traffic.

===Section Eight===

; Why are there swarms of gnats?
: The reason gnats (and other creatures) tend to swarm together is likely a safety-in-numbers protection, and as a big gathering to find a mate.

; Why is there phlegm?
: {{w|Phlegm#Phlegm|Phlegm}} is a thick, viscous fluid produced by the mucus membranes as a way to clear the airway and aids in the release of bacteria, disease and debris in those passages.

; Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN
: From a Minnesota Paper, [https://www.startribune.com/local/138902104.html the Star Tribune], "Laws prevent the city from poisoning the crows". "Duffy [ {{w|Steve Duffy}}, a co-owner of U.S. Bird Abatement Services, which has contracted with Rochester to get rid of the crows] isn't sure why Rochester has such a bad crow problem; probably a confluence of many bird-friendly conditions that has also made it a magnet for {{w|geese}}. He's seen worse cases but called Rochester's situation 'hideous.'" And best of all, "The city has twice this winter hired experts to chase them off. They tried {{w|lasers}} and bullhorns — hey, get out of here, you crows — and even employed raptors to pick them off, one by one. That worked, for awhile." Unfortunately, they mean a {{w|bird of prey}}, not a {{w|velociraptor}}.

; Why is Psychic weak to Bug
: In Pokémon, Pokémon of the Psychic type like Alakazam are weak to three types of attacks: Ghost, Dark, and Bug. The general theory is that Psychic Pokémon, relying heavily on their thoughts for attacks, are weak to fears, which ghosts, darkness, and bugs can be classified as.

; Why do children get cancer?
: {{w|Cancer}} is an aggressive and often fatal disease that has the potential to affect all humans as well as other organisms. There are multiple types of cancer, each with their own epidemiology, but children are not immune to succumbing to the horrific effects of the disease. Children are subject to the same illnesses adults have, regardless of age, or their innocence. There is no divine or supernatural explanation for this. Simply put, life is a battle for all humans regardless of how small they are.

; Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus?
: {{w|Poseidon}} was the patron deity of the city of {{w|Troy}}, which after a 10-year siege by the Greeks fell due to {{w|Odysseus}}' strategem of the {{w|Trojan_Horse|Trojan horse}}. As the Greeks were returning home after the Trojan War, Oddyseus' ship accidentally landed on the island home of the cyclops Polyphemus, who imprisoned the crew and ate many of them. In order to escape, Odysseus blinded the cyclops. Poseidon, Polyphemus' father, was extremely angered by his son being blinded, so he cursed Odysseus' ship to prevent him from reaching his home in {{W|Ithaca}}. The adventures which Odysseus encountered during his quest for reaching Ithaca are the main theme of {{w|Homer|Homer's}} {{w|Odyssey}} The Odyssey also says that before sailing, the crew forgot to offer a sacrifice as was ordained.

; Why is there ice in space?
: Space is {{w|Outer_space#Environment|Cold}}. The background radiation, which is used to measure the temperature of space's vacuum, is estimated at about 3K (−270 °C; −454 °F). Water freezes at 273.15 K (0 °C; 32 °F). Because the temperature in space is less than the freezing point of water, liquids freeze in space, turning into ice.

===Section Nine===

; Why is there an owl in my back yard?

; Why is there an owl outside my window?
: Owls can be seen all over the world and live in a wide variety of habitats. They are mainly nocturnal, and spend a large portion of the night hunting. The owl in your back yard and your window is likely looking for food.

; Why is there an owl on the dollar bill?
: On the front of a dollar bill, near the upper right '1' is a tiny section of the design which can be seen to represent an owl. Conspiracy theorists will note that owls were symbolically linked to the Masons, while others will instead see a spider.

; Why do owls attack people?
: While owls and human often live in close proximity without problems, as with other species, owls may attack if they feel threatened. When people irritate or otherwise make owls feel unsafe, they retaliate with violence to protect themselves. This may be related to the questions about an owl in one's back yard and outside their window, the implication being that an owl entered someone's house and attacked them.

; Why are AK47s so expensive?
: The market value of an AK47 varies depending on where you live. With strict gun control laws, obtaining an AK47 in the UK is likely to be more expensive due to the risks involved for those supplying the weapon. In former Soviet republics and the Middle East, AK47s are more plentiful, and hence the price is likely to be lower.

; Why are there helicopters circling my house?
: People living in high-crime areas will often hear helicopters circling, especially at night, when police use the helicopter's searchlight to locate and track suspects, or to light a crime scene. Those Googling this question might be wondering if a dangerous fugitive is nearby, or what else may be going on. Potentially, the questioner may be hallucinating the helicopters or imagining themselves as the target due to {{w|paranoid schizophrenia}}, in which either a neurochemical imbalance or distorted thought patterns causes {{w|delusions of persecution}}. Alternately, this question may be a joke because it is so incongruous to the others in this section. The joke is that people would be Googling about owls attacking people and assault rifle prices, which could, ostensibly alert authorities to come to your house to arrest you.

===Section Ten===

; Why are there gods?
: Gods and goddesses are part of mythology and folklore that are used to give spiritual guidance as well as explanations for phenomena that are yet unexplained by natural processes.

; Why are there two Spocks?
: This is probably a reference to the {{w|Star_Trek_(film)|2009 Star Trek movie}} in which the franchise was given a {{w|Reboot_(fiction)|continuity reboot}}. The modified setting is explained in-universe by time travel, with both the villain Nero and the original-timeline Spock being brought back from the 24th century to the 23rd, creating a timeline in which both older Spock (played by Leonard Nimoy) and the younger Spock (played by Zachary Quinto) coexist. Another possibility is that the question refers to the episode {{w|Mirror,_Mirror_(Star_Trek:_The_Original_Series)|"Mirror, Mirror"}}, which mostly takes place in an alternate universe populated by ruthless versions of most of the characters (including Spock).

; Why is Mt Vesuvius there?
: The simple answer is that volcanoes are created by interactions where the Earth's tectonic plates meet. These conditions only exist in a few places on Earth. The question could also be asking, "why is Mt Vesuvius near such a heavily populated area?" Humans have lived near Vesuvius throughout history, due to its pleasant climate, rich soil, and proximity to other major cities. The Italian government [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2003/jun/05/italy.sophiearie offers generous cash incentives] to move people away from the danger zone, but finds few takers.This question could also be a reference to mountaineer {{w|George Mallory}}'s famous answer as to why he wanted to climb Mount Everest: "Because it's there."

; Why do they say T minus?
: Time before the launch of a spacecraft is denoted as "T-minus" because the launch has not happened yet. Any time after the launch is typcally stated with a "plus", for example "T-plus 3 minutes, 17 seconds", so time before the launch is counted downwards as "minus" time. The "T" stands for "Time", as in the practical zero time of launch, although the eventual reaching of zero (related to the intended "L" time of launching) is often still subject to change ''before'' the launch, for both {{w|Built-in hold|planned and unplanned holds}} of arbitrary length.

; Why are there obelisks?
: The {{w|Obelisk}} article has more information.

; Why are wrestlers always wet?
: Professional wrestling is strenuous activity, whether it's fake or not. Strenuous activity results in sweat, giving the bodyan appearance of being wet. Greco-Roman wrestling and Turkish Oil Wrestling both involve oiling the body, giving a similar appearance.

; Why are oceans becoming more acidic?
: Due to the higher amount of carbon dioxide on the atmosphere, which dissolves in the oceans turning into carbonic acid - CO2+H2O=H2CO3 (see {{w|Ocean acidification}})

; Why is Arwen dying?
: {{w|Elf (Middle-Earth)#Death|Elves}} in ''The Lord of the Rings'' can die from grief.

; Why aren't my quail laying eggs?
: Not enough sunlight/calcium, or they are egg bound (very serious)?

; Why aren't my quail eggs hatching?
: Problems in incubation, or the eggs may not be fertilized.

; Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America?
: Further information: {{w|United States military deployments}}This is a very interesting question, albeit one likely based on a regional misunderstanding. Presumably, this question is asked by Americans who assume that the existence of {{w|Category:Military facilities of the United States by country|U.S. military bases abroad}} is a general trend among countries, as opposed to being the rarity that it is. In fact, {{w|List of countries with overseas military bases|only a handful of other countries}} have military bases outside of their borders, and the three—{{w|France}}, the {{w|United Kingdom}}, and {{w|Russia}}—that have more than one or two are all countries that, like the United States, {{w|Allies of World War II|were on the winning side of World War II}}, have {{w|List of countries by military expenditures|massive military expenditures}}, and have {{w|United Nations Security Council veto power|UN Security Council vetoes}}. In other words, only the most militarily elite countries have bases overseas. The U.S. is unique, however, in that it has far more overseas bases than any other country (and, pretty much, far more of anything else than any other country, when it comes to the military), and in that {{w|List of United States military bases|it has bases in several other highly-industrialized nations}}, including {{w|List of United States Army installations in South Korea|South Korea}} and the United Kingdom, and, most notably, the World War II {{w|Axis powers}}: {{w|List of United States Army installations in Germany|Germany}}, {{w|United States s Japan|Japan}}, and {{w|List of United States Army installations in Italy|Italy}}. France, Russia, and the U.K.'s bases, on the other hand, are almost all within areas that they previously controlled.These bases can be controversial in some countries, while in others they are a major source of economic and political stability. The U.S. traditionally justifies their presence as a necessary and crucial element in its efforts to promote peace domestically and worldwide. Despite their major role in {{w|U.S. foreign policy}}, and in the general political structure of the globe, the American public often largely ignores them, and they rarely become a major political issue (apart from an occasional mention by {{w|Libertarian Party (United States)|Libertarian presidential candidates}}).So, essentially, the absence of foreign military bases within the U.S. is primarily because there aren't really any other countries in a position to place bases there. Ironically, although no battles in the traditional sense have been fought within the U.S. since the {{w|U.S. Civil War}} and the U.S. mainland has seen {{w|Mainland invasion of the United States|almost no military action}}, foreign air bases might have been useful on September 11, 2001. (The {{w|attack on Pearl Harbor}} in 1941 was 18 years before Hawaii became a U.S. state, but Hawaii was still a fundamental part of the United States as it was an incorporated territory.)There are, however, foreign troops stationed at some continental US military bases. For example, RAF (British Royal Air ) 39 Sqn and 361 Sqn at Creech Air Base in Nevada flying Reaper and Predator drones. But these are not foreign military bases, they are just guests.

===Section Eleven===

; Why are my boobs itchy?
: It could be anything from dry skin to a rare life-threatening disease. Could also be related to pregnancy, PMS, or puberty. [https://www.just-health.net/Itchy-Breast.html Here's a thorough list] of possible causes and remedies.

; Why are cigarettes legal?
: Despite the obvious detrimental effects nicotine has on health, it is, like caffeine and alcohol, more profitable to regulate than to ban, and is also subject to intense lobbying by tobacco companies to keep it legal. Substances like cocaine and other drugs are mainly illegal because of government attitudes disapproving of recreational drug use coupled with there being no powerful preexisting corporate lobby with a stake in making or keeping these drugs legal, and also, with some drugs (in the US, at least), due to more than a bit of racism (against Mexicans with regard to marijuana, or against Chinese for opium). Nicotine, however, which is the key ingredient in tobacco, is regulated and heavily taxed, bringing income for the government. This is one of the major arguments for legalizing other, currently-illegal drugs, at least the "softer" ones like marijuana, as, if they're legalized, they can be taxed and bring the government more money, and the government can provide an incentive for producers and sellers to keep their product safe and high-quality (by punishing those who mislabel their drugs or cut them with dangerous substances, while letting producers and sellers of safe, high-quality drugs operate without fear of arrest or prosecution).

; Why are there ducks in my pool?
: Most likely, they're looking for a place to mate. Which means you'll soon have baby ducks in your pool. Most migratory birds are protected by wildlife laws, so you want to prevent them from moving into your pool in the first place. The [https://www.dfwwildlife.org/duck.html DFW Wildlife Coalition] has some tips.

; Why is Jesus white?
: This is an ethnocentric viewpoint that varies throughout cultures. In African cultures he is portrayed as black. In short, whatever culture he is introduced to, those inhabitants will have him fit their own image.

; Why is there liquid in my ear?
: [https://www.healthline.com/symptom/discharge-from-ear It's called otorrhea], and can be caused by infection, trauma, or changes in pressure. A common cause is [https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/swimmers-ear/basics/definition/con-20014723 Swimmer's ear], an infection of the outer ear canal. More seriously, it could be Cerebrospinal fluid. This can end up in your ears due to a puncture in the skull's membrane, often due to a collision/concussion. This is a very serious condition. Again, do not take (too much) medical advice from wiki. A less dangerous explanation is that this person has just learned of the {{w|vestibular system}}, which is contained in the inner ear, and is confused as to why it exists.

; Why do Q tips feel good?
: The inner ear contains {{w|erectile tissue}} (as does your inner nose which is why sneezing feels good) so you are massaging tissue which gets aroused upon stimulation.

; Why do good people die?
: Everybody dies, no matter how good or bad they were. But sometimes if people are really bad, they are made to die sooner. (But loved ones and ones who were known to make memorable or valuable contributions are mourned and revered more than a person who has left much pain to others as their legacy; we remember the good ones and so it hurts more.)

; Why are ultrasounds important?
: Ultrasound scans provide a great deal of information about a fetus, thus increasing the chances of a healthy birth. They have many other medical uses.

; Why are ultrasound machines expensive?
: As hospital equipment goes, ultrasound machines are actually a bargain. [https://www.costowl.com/healthcare/healthcare-ultrasound-machine-costs.html A new ultrasound machine] costs about $20,000-$75,000, depending on features. Comparable devices are much more expensive: The [https://info.blockimaging.com/bid/84432/CT-Scanner-Price-Guide CT scanner] runs $90,000-$250,000, while the [https://www.ehow.com/about_4731161_much-do-mri-machines-cost.html MRI machine] easily goes over a million.

; Why is stealing wrong?
: Stealing is theft, and it is illegal. Taking something that is not yours without permission or payment hurts the livelihood of other individuals as well as damages their trust in others.

==Transcript==
: [This strip is a rectangular word cloud, titled 'Questions found in Google autocomplete'. Embedded in the cloud are five single panels, with illustrated questions. These are described at the end. Questions are given in roughly columnar order. None of the questions have question marks.]

: Questions found in Google Autocomplete

: Why do whales jump
: Why are witches green
: Why are there mirrors above beds
: Why do I say uh
: Why is sea salt better
: Why are there trees in the middle of fields
: Why is there not a Pokemon MMO
: Why is there laughing in TV shows
: Why are there doors on the freeway
: Why are there so many svchost.exe running
: Why aren't there any countries in antarctica
: Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft
: Why is there kicking in my stomach
: Why are there two slashes after HTTP
: Why are there celebrities
: Why do snakes exist
: Why do oysters have pearls
: Why are ducks called ducks
: Why do they call it the clap
: Why are Kyle and Cartman friends
: Why is there an arraow on Aang's head
: Why are text messages blue
: Why are there mustaches on clothes
: Why are there mustaches on cars
: Why are there mustaches everywhere
: Why are there so many birds in Ohio
: Why is there so much rain in Ohio
: Why is Ohio weather so weird
: Why are there male and female bikes
: Why are there bridesmaids
: Why do dying people reach up
: Why aren't there varicose arteries
: Why are old Klingons different
: Why is programming so hard
: Why is there a 0 ohm resistor
: Why do Americans hate soccer
: Why do rhymes sound good
: Why do trees die
: Why is there no sound on CNN
: Why aren't Pokemon real
: Why aren't bullets sharp
: Why do dreams seem so real
: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts
: Why do iguanas die
: Why do testicles move
: Why are there psychics
: Why are hats so expensive
: Why is there caffeine in my shampoo
: Why do your boobs hurt
: Why aren't economists rich
: Why do Americans call it soccer
: Why are my ears ringing
: Why are there so many Avengers
: Why are the Avengers fighting the X men
: Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers
: Why are there ants in my laptop
: Why is Earth tilted
: Why is space black
: Why is outer space so cold
: Why are there pyramids on the moon
: Why is NASA shutting down
: Why is there Hell if God forgives
: Why are there tiny spiders in my house
: Why do spiders come inside
: Why are there huge spiders in my house
: Why are there lots of spiders in my house
: Why are there spiders in my room
: Why are there so many spiders in my room
: Why do spider bites itch
: Why is dying so scary
: Why is there no GPS in laptops
: Why do knees click
: Why aren't there E grades
: Why is isolation bad
: Why do boys like me
: Why don't boys like me
: Why is there always a Java update
: Why are there red dots on my thighs
: Why is lying good
: Why is GPS free
: Why are trees tall
: Why are there slaves in the Bible
: Why do twins have different fingerprints
: Why are Americans afraid of dragons
: Why is there lava
: Why are there swarms of gnats
: Why is there phlegm
: Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN
: Why is psychic weak to bug
: Why do children get cancer
: Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus
: Why is there ice in space
: Why are there female Mr Mimes
: Why is there an owl in my backyard
: Why is there an owl outside my window
: Why is there an owl on the dollar bill
: Why do owls attack people
: Why are AK47s so expensive
: Why are there helicopters circling my house
: Why are there gods
: Why are there two Spocks
: Why is Mt Vesuvius there
: Why do they say T minus
: Why are there obelisks
: Why are wrestlers always wet
: Why are oceans becoming more acidic
: Why is Arwen dying
: Why aren't my quail laying eggs
: Why aren't my quail eggs hatching
: Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America
: Why is life so boring
: Why are my boobs itchy
: Why are cigarettes legal
: Why are there ducks in my pool
: Why is Jesus white
: Why is there liquid in my ear
: Why do Q tips feel good
: Why do good people die
: Why are ultrasounds important
: Why are ultrasound machines expensive
: Why is stealing wrong
: Why is YKK on all zippers
: Why is HTTPS crossed out in red
: Why is there a line through HTTPS
: Why is there a red line through HTTPS on Facebook
: Why is HTTPS important
: Why are there weeks
: Why do I feel dizzy
: Why are dogs afraid of fireworks
: Why is there no king in England

: [We see Cueball from the torso up, with arms outstretched.]
: Cueball: Why aren't my arms growing

: [Megan stands with a grey ghost on either side of her.]
: Megan: Why are there ghosts

: [Beret Guy stands, looking at a squirrel.]
: Beret Guy: Why are there squirrels

: [Cueball stands.]
: Cueball: Why is sex so important.

: [We see Ponytail from the torso up.]
: Ponytail: Why aren't there guns in Harry Potter

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Pokémon]]
[[Category:Google Search]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]
[[Category:Weather]]
[[Category:Harry Potter]]
[[Category:Religion]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Volcanoes]]
[[Category:Minecraft]]
[[Category:Ants]]
[[Category:Comics featuring children]]
[[Category:Disney]]
[[Category:Ghosts]]

1256: Questions

2026-03-10T15:27:23Z

Amateurautist: /* Section Nine */

{{distinguish|1448: Question|common=Questions}}
{{comic
| number = 1256
| date = August 26, 2013
| title = Questions
| image = questions.png
| titletext = To whoever typed 'why is arwen dying': GOOD. FUCKING. QUESTION.
}}
A larger version of the picture can be found [https://xkcd.com/1256/large here].

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|
;Does not explain the juxtaposition jokes
This article is a little overly literal and fails to explain the actual recurring joke of the comic, which is the juxtaposition of related searches in specific orders for a humorous implication. For example, the [[#Section Six|series of spider-related searches]] capped with, "Why are spider bites itchy?", implying that the person who was distressed about all the spiders has been bitten. Simply including the answers to the questions doesn't actually explain the source of humor.}}
{{w|Google}} has a feature known as [https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/106230?hl=en autocomplete] that guesses at search queries before they are fully typed out. These guesses are generally made based on popular searches by other people. From time to time, a particularly strange or hilarious one may be found, as is evidenced in this comic.

All the questions in the comic are "why" questions, so many of them are predicated on false assumptions, such as "Why are there pyramids on the Moon". Originally, all these questions and many more (33,171 in total) could be found at [http://xkcd.com/why.txt xkcd.com/why.txt] (now defunct, [https://web.archive.org/web/20170510061043/https://xkcd.com/why.txt archived version]).

There are many reasons Randall may have chosen to highlight so many disparate questions without answers. Some questions have simple answers, some are difficult, some have many different potential answers, but all of them show humans seeking knowledge. There are no stupid questions.

The sections below explain each question by splitting the comic into arbitrary blocks. As a general rule, section numbers work top to bottom, then right to left. A Reddit user has also [https://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/1l3na7/questions/cbvigrd answered all the questions].

===Title text===
The title text is a reference to the Peter Jackson films of {{w|The Lord of the Rings (film series)|''The Lord of the Rings'' trilogy}}, where Arwen becomes sickly for unspecified reasons as the plot advances, apparently giving Aragorn a more personal reason to fight. The only explanation given is by Elrond, who says "As Sauron's power grows, her [Arwen's] strength wanes." This subplot is entirely absent from the {{w|The Lord of the Rings|original novels}}.

From [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0167260/faq#.2.1.21 IMDB]: <blockquote>
Arwen, like her father (and brothers) is considered to be a Half-Elf, the result of a union between an Elf and a mortal human. The Half-Elven of Middle-earth get a choice, to remain immortal and return to the West (Valinor) or to become mortal and to die as humans do. Elrond chose to remain an Elf. Arwen (like her uncle Elros) chooses to become mortal in order to wed and remain with Aragorn. Elrond senses this; this is what he means when he says that Arwen is dying. It is the same as in The Last Unicorn, when the unicorn is given the form of a human woman and can feel that she is no longer immortal ("I can feel this body dying all around me"). According to Tolkien, though, after Aragorn dies in the year 120 (Fourth Age), Arwen returns to Lórien, where she dies by choice the following winter. </blockquote>

===Illustrated panels===

; Why aren't my arms growing?
: Arms stop growing because longer arms would not be a very useful way to spend resources. Human DNA has programmed the body to gradually ossify (turn to bone) the growing arms and legs, closing the {{w|epiphyseal plate}} (the flat plate at the end of each long bone), at which point they stop growing. Alternately, the muscles of the arm, which may have been the intended subject of the question, may fail to grow if not exercised with appropriate resistance, repetition or frequency; if nutrition is insufficient; if insufficient recovery time is given; or if sufficient levels of certain hormones like growth hormone or testosterone are not present.

; Why are there ghosts?
: There is no hard evidence of ghosts. The reason you are seeing ghosts could be {{w|pareidolia}} or some {{w|cognitive bias}}.

; Why are there squirrels?
: Squirrels are the product of a long sequence of evolution, like any other animal. They persist because they effectively reproduce and compete for resources within their niche, but they are also the product of many circumstantial events that has led to them being the way they are.

; Why is sex so important?
: Sex is important biologically because it is the primary method of reproduction in many different species. It is important culturally because it causes hard-to-control urges that affect behaviour, plays an important role in human relationships, and serves as a key form of [https://www.dissentmagazine.org/article/seizing-means-reproduction-laura-briggs-reproductive-politics-review/ reproductive labor]. However, it can be of varying importance to different people (see [https://www.asexuality.org/home/?q=overview.html asexuality]).

; Why aren't there guns in Harry Potter?
: In the ''{{w|Harry Potter}}'' universe, [https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Gun guns ''do'' exist] and are mentioned at the beginning of ''{{w|Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban}}'', when the news gives a warning that Sirius Black has one. Muggle technology (human inventions) are often looked down on by wizards - the majority of half-blooded wizards won't touch one, let alone a wizard extremist like {{w|Voldemort}}. Not only does any Muggle device more complex than a wristwatch interfere with magical artifacts, but wands are usually more versatile than most guns; a revolver can't shoot lightning, summon items, or teleport its user. Finally, while Harry himself may or may not consider using firearms due to his Muggle upbringing, ''Harry Potter'' is set in the United Kingdom (which has stricter gun laws than, say, the United States).

===Vertical questions===

; Why is there hell if God forgives?
: There is not a single answer to this question. The answer varies based on the religion and that religion's sect mixed with personal interpretations of that religions scripture and how a person decides to follow it. However, the idea of what Hell will be like also varies. There is no one answer to this question, but the easiest explanation is that the individual did not pray hard enough, correctly, was not part of the right religion, and their forgiveness was contingent on something that the person either did not do or know to do (or say or think).

; Why do iguanas die?
: All living things die,{{cn}} but iguanas may suffer from [https://www.anapsid.org/iguana/kidneyfailure.html kidney failure].

; Why is GPS free?
: GPS was originally developed by the U.S. military for its own use, not for commercial purposes. However, the government realized that free GPS would have a significant bonus for the economy and would prevent disasters like the {{w|Korean Air Lines Flight 007}} where a plane was shot down after accidentally entering Soviet airspace, and in 1983 President Reagan declared that the US would make GPS available to all. At one point, "{{w|selective availability}}" was used to degrade performance for civilian users, but since 2000 this has also been switched off.

; Why are trees tall?
: Tall is a relative term, and Redwoods are famous for their height - among the tallest in the world. The reason for this is, in part [https://www.nps.gov/redw/faqs.htm climate, fog, rain, good soil, few predators, among others].

; Why are there female Mr. Mimes?
: {{w|Mr. Mime}} is a Pokémon introduced in the first generation of the games, and despite its name, it can be either of a male or female gender. As the Pokémon was introduced before the concept of [https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Gender gender in Pokémon games], it is likely that the people in charge of translating its Japanese name (Barrierd) did not take this into account during the process.

; Why is there lava?
: {{w|Lava}} is magma (molten rock) which is at the Earth's surface. Magma in the Earth comes from the melting of rock due to rising heat from deeper within the planet. {{w|Earth's internal heat budget|This heat}} is about half radiogenic and half primordial (left over from the formation and differentiation of the Earth). Most of the crust and mantle of the Earth is solid rock, but in places (usually controlled by plate tectonics, but {{w|Hawaii hotspot|not always}}) where the heat is high enough the minerals with lowest melting point start to melt and then migrate upwards towards the surface. This melt collects in {{w|Magma chamber|magma chambers}}, in which the magma may start to cool and crystallize. Sometimes it will crystallize completely, becoming an underground solid body called a pluton. Other times melt will keep migrating upwards until it reaches the surface and erupts as lava, forming a {{w|volcano}} or undersea vent.

; Why is YKK on all zippers?
: {{w|YKK}} Group is the name of a large group of Japanese manufacturing companies, which among other things manufacture a lot of zippers. YKK zippers are also considered to be some of the best available, so a clothing maker including a YKK zipper would likely leave the YKK name on, instead of getting no branding or rebranding them.

; Why is life so boring?
: It is up to an individual to find meaning and interest in life. Monotony, predictability, and lack of physical and intellectual stimulation would lead to a feeling of boredom.

; Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?
: Ghosts are a supernatural phenomenon that have not been empirically proven to exist. Those who believe in ghosts implicitly believe in a soul (of which a ghost is a materialization of), and it is a commonly held belief by religious institutions and ghost-hunters that animals do not have souls and thus dinosaurs would not have any either.

; Why is there no king in England?
: At the time of publication, {{w|Elizabeth II}} was the Queen of England, and continued to be so for another decade, ending up having been so for over 70 years.

:In colloquial usage, any married couple reigning over a monarchy is known as the king and queen. For the past several hundred years, there has almost always been a queen in England, the sole exceptions being when the king has not had a wife. (Also, "England" is commonly used as the equivalent to "The United Kingdom", often incorrectly.) However, there is a distinction between being the Queen of England (that is to say, {{w|List of British monarchs|a monarch}} in her own right) and any {{w|queen consort|Queen ''Consort''}} of England (the woman married to, or who later marries, the man who has become its King).

:Monarchies tend to strongly select for Kings (with or without consorts). At times of strife, very few {{w|Empress Matilda|'queen's}} enter the fray. Peaceful {{w|succession to the British throne}} has been for a long governed in England by {{w|male-preference cognatic primogeniture}} which disproportionately favours male descendants. And British laws and customs have been generally built around the presumption that the monarch would be a man, and that man would be married to a woman, [[223: Valentine's Day|comic 223]] be damned. The consort (wife) to the King may be popularly styled as "Queen <her name>" but would not normally be a functional title. If she survives her husband, {{w|Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother|her continued use of the honorific}} does not exclude the successive monarch having (or being) a new queen.

:Despite everything, throughout the {{w|Acts of Union 1707|current continuity of the modern British throne}} two women have begun to reign as Queen in their own right. It just so happens that these two have been two of the longest-reigning monarchs in world history, {{w|Queen Victoria}} and Queen Elizabeth II herself. Both of these have been influential and famed not just in 'England' but around the world, and this fact may add to people noting the rare but conspicuous lack of an 'English' king historically (despite five times as many actual Kings). This is especially true within the living memory of those who asked the questions in the comic, who may never have lived through the time prior to Elizabeth II.

:The title of "{{w|king consort}}" exists but has not been used. Instead Victoria and Elizabeth's respective consorts, {{w|Albert, Prince Consort|Albert}} and {{w|Prince Philip|Philip}}, were given alternate titles — Albert as {{w|Prince Consort}} and Philip as "{{w|British prince|Prince of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland}}" (both commonly referred to as "Prince ..."). These titles being by gift of their own queen and spouse, though Albert was already formally a prince of {{w|Saxe-Coburg and Gotha}} whilst Philip had previously been prince of {{w|Danish royal family|Denmark}} and {{w|Greek royal family|Greece}} but had renounced both titles before marrying then-Princess Elizabeth. Earlier in history, various {{w|Mary II of England|co-ruling queens}}, and {{w|Elizabeth I|unmarried queens}} had also avoided any need for the "consort" title.

:Much more recently, the system of male-preference {{w|Succession to the Crown Act 2013|was changed}} to ''absolute'' primogeniture, where (for all those born after 2011) males are no longer favoured over females, in the otherwise strict chronology of descent. Should the monarchy continue onwards without further social change, there are now likely to be far more actual Queens in the future (with or without consorts); however, already the first three members of Elizabeth II's senior line of descent are male: Prince Charles, as was, Elizabeth's eldest son; Prince William, Charles's eldest son; and Prince George, William's eldest child (being born in 2013).

:It would still likely take a while (or unpredictable circumstances) before England has its next Queen in her own right and the question becomes relevent again. Since Elizabeth's death in September 2022, {{w|Charles III}} has indeed automatically become the King of England, and his current wife {{w|Camilla, Queen consort of the United Kingdom|Camilla}} is Queen Consort (but not formally the Queen of England). No further children are expected, nor would any normally change the immediate line of succession. The second child of William, {{w|Princess Charlotte of Cornwall and Cambridge|Princess Charlotte}} (born 2015), now rises accordingly to be third in line from Charles — behind William and her elder brother, at least until such time as George might himself eventually have an heir of his own, male or female.

; Why do I feel dizzy?
: Balance is achieved from fluids in the inner ear, but {{w|Dizziness#Epidemiology|dizziness}} can have nearly a dozen causes.

; Why are dogs afraid of fireworks?
: Loud noises can trigger their flight or fight responses when they are [https://www.cesarsway.com/dogbehavior/hyperdog/How-to-Keep-Your-Dog-Safe-and-Calm-During-Fireworks nervous].

; Why are there weeks?
: Weeks were originally important for religious reasons, primarily the requirement to observe a sabbath (day of rest) every seventh day. Today it is used to create a common schedule that doesn't change due to month length, much like the months divide a year to be able to schedule things like dentist appointments. Similarly, hours and minutes divide a day making it possible to create a schedule.

===Section One===
; Why do whales jump?
: Partly to get air, partly because it's an effective way to catch prey near the surface, and partly because they just seem to find it fun - it's like going into outer space!{{Actual citation needed}}

; Why are witches green?
: See {{w|The Wizard of Oz (1939 film)|The Wizard of Oz}}. The Wicked Witch' green skin looked really good in the film's {{w|Technicolor}}.

; Why are there mirrors above beds?
: Often, these are used by couples to view themselves during sex.

; Why do I say Uh?
: See ''[https://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/05/06/the_odd_body_language_fillers/ Why do we say 'um', 'er', or 'ah' when we hesitate in speaking?]''.

; Why is sea salt better?
: The question likely refers to the difference between common {{w|Fortified table salt}} and usually more expensive sea salt. While a major part of both of these is sodium chloride (NaCl) the idea behind the claim is the different composition mostly in regard to trace elements of sea salt compared to "normal" salt. Table salt's composition is often influenced by a country's health department and thus addition of trace elements is regulated. While these regulations are based on scientific studies there remain to be debates concerning the additions, such as iodine.

; Why are there trees in the middle of fields?
: Many images of fields contain singular trees in the middle of them. While there exist such trees it is likely an artistic choice to give a more pleasing or aesthetically satisfying image compared to just a field. In modern agriculture those would in fact be quite troublesome since they are a hindrance to large machines used and a new tree would be unlikely to grow in a constantly worked field, although they can be useful in fields for grazing animals, since they provide shade. Before mechanized agriculture, such trees would also be planted to give the workers a place to rest in the shade without having to go all the way back from a large field.

; Why is there not a Pokémon MMO?
: {{w|Pokémon}} is a popular franchise, spanning game consoles, anime series, a trading card game, and many other things. Among fans, it is a frequent topic of discussion why a Pokémon {{w|massively multiplayer online game}} has not been officially announced by the series' developers {{w|Game Freak}}, as they often [https://www.dorkly.com/comic/52546/be-careful-what-you-wish-for predict] that such a game would be extremely popular and bring in massive revenue for the company. However, if Game Freak were to develop a Pokémon MMO the MMOs would be strong competition against the console games and therefore reducing the Pokémon demographic significantly. The mobile app {{w|Pokémon Go}} has since partly filled the MMO niche, with multiplayer interactivity through item drops and fighting at gyms.

; Why is there laughing in TV shows?
: Sitcoms were once filmed with an audience, so the actors could respond to their reactions. That's the historical reason there were laughs in TV shows. The tradition continues, with the difference that now the laughter mostly comes from recorded tapes. See {{w|Laugh track}}.

; Why are there doors on the freeway?
: Highway/freeway {{w|noise barrier|noise barriers}} sometimes have doors in them to allow workers access to both sides of the barrier. They also serve as emergency exits in case of large traffic collisions (which can cause fire and smoke), for people to leave on foot.

; Why are there so many svchost.exe running?
: See {{w|svchost.exe}}.

; Why aren't there any countries in Antarctica?
: {{w|Antarctica}} is the southernmost continent and is by large covered in ice and in general pretty cold. While it is a regular target of tourists and researchers it also lacks native human inhabitants. At the moment, the territorial claims concerning Antarctica are mostly handled via the {{w|Antarctic Treaty System}}. In short there are a few countries who claim certain parts of the continent as their own in theory but so far it is considered neutral territory and most maps don't concern themselves with displaying the (in some regards disputed) territorial claims because they do not matter at this point in time. If there are ever any worthwhile resources discovered, this might change.

; Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft?
: To add atmosphere and to give players hints when there is a dark cave nearby. See [https://minecraft.wiki/w/Ambience Ambience Minecraft Wiki].

; Why is there kicking in my stomach?
: See ''[https://www.webmd.com/baby/fetal-movement-feeling-baby-kick Feeling Your Baby Kick]''. Here, ''stomach'' means ''abdomen''.

; Why are there two slashes after http?
: See ''[https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1220286/Sir-Tim-Berners-Lee-admits-forward-slashes-web-address-mistake.html Sir Tim Berners-Lee admits the forward slashes in every web address 'were a mistake']''.

; Why are there celebrities?
: There are certain people who are more respected and well-known than other people, whether it be because of their acting career, major advancements to science, or a sex tape.

; Why do snakes exist?
: The question is rather general and likely based on a widespread dislike for the reptilians. Be it due to their appearance, their spread, or the danger a few snakes pose to humans (often due to being venomous) many people have a dislike for snakes and would prefer them to not exist (similar to spiders). In regard to "why do snakes exist on earth?": Because evolution. Snakes fill a gap in the ecosystem as predators and hunt different species, including vermin. Snakes are in that regard similar to many other predatory animals. The question on why snakes developed with their distinct streamlined shape is still debated but {{w|snakes|likely it either provided an advantage when burrowing or swimming}}.

; Why do oysters have pearls?
: {{w|Pearl}}s are formed inside the shell of certain mollusks as a defense mechanism against a potentially threatening irritant such as a parasite inside the shell, or an attack from outside, injuring the mantle tissue. The mollusk creates a pearl sac to seal off the irritation. Pearls are commonly viewed by scientists as a by-product of an adaptive immune system-like function.

; Why are ducks called ducks?
: See {{w|Duck#Etymology|Duck § Etymology}}. {{Wiktionary|duck|According to Wiktionary}}, the noun ''duck'' can be traced back to the {{w|Proto-Germanic language|Proto-Germanic}} word {{Wiktionary|Appendix:Proto-Germanic/dūkaną|''dūkaną''}} ("to dive, bend down"), and, in turn, the {{w|Proto-Indo-European language|Proto-Indo-European}} {{Wiktionary|Appendix:Proto-Indo-European/dʰewb-|''dʰewb-''}} ("deep, hollow"), which is the origin of the verb ''to duck''. The link between the noun and the verb comes from ducks' tendency to dive under water for short periods of time.

; Why do they call it the clap?
: Paris' medieval Red Light district was called "les clapiers" (the rabbit cages), therefore people were getting {{w|gonorrhea}} there

; Why are Kyle and Cartman friends?
: The question relates to the TV show {{w|South Park}}. Both are children living in the small titular town in Colorado. Cartman is widely accepted to a be very bad person, one of his many character flaws being his antisemitism. Kyle on the other hand is a Jew. However, both, along with two other kids, Stan and Kenny, are the core focus of the show (or used to be) and to some extents are considered to be friends. While there are episodes which show Cartman being not entirely a horrible person and him holding Kyle in a position of at least a worthy adversary, most of the time the question should be "Why is anyone friends with Cartman?" However, they most likely remain "friends" because they are in the same class at school and are therefore "forced" to be around one another.

; Why is there an arrow on Aang's head?
: {{w|Avatar: The Last Airbender#Characters|Aang}} is the main character of the TV series {{w|Avatar the last Airbender|Avatar - The Last Airbender}} and features as part of a large body spanning tattoo an arrow on his head. These tattoos are made to replicate the markings of one of the shows fictional animals, the air bison which are regarded as the original air benders. They are given to human air benders once they attain the status of masters. Because Aang acquired this status very early in life he was already tattooed accordingly.

; Why are text messages blue?
: This likely refers to iMessage chat being blue. These messages are blue when sending a message to another Apple device. When sent as an RCS or SMS message, they will be green.

; Why are there mustaches on clothes?
: Because some people buy them. Mustaches, especially handlebar-style mustaches, were a popular fad at the time of this comic.

; Why are there mustaches on cars?
: Fuzzy pink mustaches are used to designate cars in the {{w|Lyft}} service.

; Why are there mustaches everywhere?
: See {{w|Movember}}

; Why are there so many birds in Ohio?
: There are an estimated [https://oh.audubon.org/bsc/SOTB.html 400 bird species] in {{w|List of birds of Ohio|Ohio}}, but there are [https://www.jstor.org/discover/2419997sid=21104910103541&uid=4&uid=3739776&uid=2&uid=3739256 2.74 nesting pairs per acre].

; Why is there so much rain in Ohio?
: {{w|lake_effect|Lake-effect}} rain develops in the same manner as lake-effect snow.

; Why is Ohio weather so weird?
: See {{w|Lake-effect snow}}.

===Section Two===

; Why are there male and female bikes?
: Historically, women's {{w|bicycle}} frames had a top tube that connected in the middle of the seat tube instead of the top, resulting in a lower {{w|Frame geometry|standover height}} at the expense of compromised structural integrity, since this places a strong bending load in the seat tube, and bicycle frame members are typically weak in bending. This design, referred to as a {{w|step-through frame}} or as an open frame, allows the rider to mount and dismount in a dignified way while wearing a skirt or dress.</blockquote>

; Why are there bridesmaids?
: See {{w|Bridesmaid#Origin and history|Bridesmaid § Origin and history}}.

; Why do dying people reach up?
: In many works of fiction dying people are regarded with an outstretched arm, grasping for unseen objects towards the sky. In all likelihood this originates in the idea of heaven as the place where (good) people go after death. People "reach for the light" which is seen when dying according to similar beliefs or possibly for already dead relatives or other associated people waiting for them. An alternative hypothesis is that they want to hug/touch their loved ones one last time.

; Why aren't there varicose arteries?
: Blood moves through veins due to irregular pressure from skeletal muscles combined with valves to control direction. In varicose veins these valves malfunction affecting blood flow. In arteries blood flow is produced directly from pressure caused by the heart.

; Why are old Klingons different?
: {{w|Klingon Redesign|From Wikipedia}}: <blockquote>For {{w|Star Trek: The Motion Picture}} (1979), the Klingons were retconned, and their appearance and behavior radically changed. To give the aliens a more sophisticated and threatening demeanor, the Klingons were depicted with ridged foreheads, snagged and prominent teeth, and a defined language and alphabet. Lee Cole, a production designer, used red gels and primitive shapes in the design of Klingon consoles and ship interiors, which took on a dark and moody atmosphere. The alphabet was designed as angular, with sharp edges harkening to the Klingon's militaristic focus.[5] Costume designer Robert Fletcher created new uniforms for the Klingons, reminiscent of feudal Japanese armor.</blockquote>Additionally, there is an in-universe explanation: A [https://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Klingon_augment_virus Klingon augment virus] was deployed to make enhanced warriors, but accidentally made weaker Klingons with human-like features. These afflicted Klingons were the ones seen in the original series.

; Why is programming so hard?
: Programming is the art of writing instructions for a computer to do. Since the computer has a limited set of instructions for you to use it involves a new way of thinking for many. It is also hard because the computer itself is not smart or adaptable to unexpected problems. For instance, when humans are told to sort books in a shelf, they can do that even if there are things in the way (simply moving them to the side). A computer will generally just crash if it doesn't have instructions on how to deal with the unexpected problem.

; Why is there a 0 Ohm resistor?
: A resistor is usually designed to create a certain resistance, measured in {{w|Ohm}} in an electronic device. A 0 Ohm resistor seems pointless as it would only provide the same resistance as a normal cable. However, a 0 Ohm resistor works as an easy way to connect two points of a circuit board utilizing the same machines used to place other resistors. Wikipedia's {{w|Zero-ohm link}} article gives a good explanation.

; Why do Americans hate soccer?
: Soccer, or (association) football in British English, is rather unpopular in the USA compared to most other regions of the world. Finding a particular reason behind the (dis)like for certain sports, apart from cultural spread, is difficult. One possible explanation is soccer's tendency to have far fewer points scored in an average game and a higher likelihood of draws compared to such things as American Football, basketball or baseball, which are far more popular. In how far this is a legitimate argument for regarding soccer as "less interesting" is up to debate. The assumption that Americans dislike soccer is also somewhat dated; the national Womens' team is the most successful in the world, having won 4 FIFA Women's World Cups and consistently encouraging more youngsters to take up the sport. Unfortunately, when it comes to the professional game, the National Soccer League still has a long way to go to catch up with the dominance and name recognition of the NFL (American football) (due primarily to the spectacle of the Super Bowl), the MLB (baseball) (partly credited to the dominance of the New York Yankees and the pageantry of the World Series), and the NBA (basketball), due to the makeup of the American professional sports industry during its golden years in the 1970s & 80s.

; Why do rhymes sound good?
: The brain enjoys repetition, especially in music.

; Why do trees die?
: Some common reasons include lack of water, lack of nitrogen in the soil, soil, root and wind damage, and being chopped down.

; Why is there no sound on CNN?
: Some stations broadcast a {{w|second audio program}}, an alternative soundtrack that your TV can be configured to use instead of the primary program. This is intended to be used for broadcasting in an alternate language, or for {{w|Descriptive Video Service}} to make a program accessible to the visually impaired. Many programs that don't actually use SAP will still broadcast an SAP that is identical to the primary program; however, this is not required. If your TV is configured to use SAP and a particular channel isn't broadcasting SAP at that time, there won't be any sound.

; Why aren't Pokémon real?
: Pokémon are fantasized creatures that were designed to produce an interesting battle mechanic in a game. Some of the Pokémons abilities would be impossible on earth as we know it. For instance, Magcargo is [https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Magcargo#Trivia hotter than the surface of the sun].

; Why aren't bullets sharp?
: See {{w|Terminal ballistics}}.

; Why do dreams seem so real?
: Most dreams occur during a stage known as REM (Rapid Eye Movement). During REM, your brain is highly active, and its wave pattern is the same as the wave patterns in a person who is awake. It should be noted that dreams can occur during other stages of sleep but most dreams that are vivid occur during the REM stage.

===Section Three===

; Why do testicles move?
: The scrotum shrinks and expands to account for temperature changes.

; Why are there psychics?
: A {{w|Psychic}} is a supposed user of anomalous powers. Studies have classified psychic powers as pseudoscience. The existence of psychics appears to be as an economic incentive.

; Why are hats so expensive?
: Hats can be expensive depending on the quality of material, size, location, and demand. A probable answer is that hats are simply difficult to make, causing high prices. Another likely cause is the fact that hats are not widely worn in much of the western world and people who do wear them often have far fewer than they have, for example, shirts, meaning that manufacturers cannot get the same economies of scale in production and distribution.

; Why is there caffeine in my shampoo?
: Because the producers want you to believe that caffeine penetrates the hair roots and thereby somehow protects it from negative testosterone impacts and from premature hair loss.

; Why do your boobs hurt?
: Common reasons are a badly fitted bra, breast growth, or {{w|PMS}}. It could also be a hormone imbalance, breastfeeding, large or awkwardly shaped breasts or a serious condition such as {{w|breast cancer}}.

===Section Four===

; Why aren't economists rich?
: Economists study how society organizes resources but, contrary to the popular misconception, don't focus much on the short-term behavior of the stock market (a system that is still poorly understood). In order to become rich, in most cases one has to own a commodity that produces more wealth, such as a large company, or be related to somebody who has done so. In rare cases, a particularly lucky individual could become rich by having an unusually high paying job, such as a famous actor or sports star. Neither of these situations are likely for someone studying the field of economics. Some economists do get very rich as strategists for banks and businesses, but most are just academics and analysts.

; Why do Americans call it soccer?
: {{w|Association football}} is called "soccer" ("association" + "-er") in US English because {{w|American Football}} is the more popular version there. Of note is that the word "soccer" originates on British soil, to distinguish it from Rugby football aka "rugger".

; Why are my ears ringing?
: {{w|Tinnitus}}, or ringing of the ears, can result from stress, foreign objects in the ear, hearing damage, wax build up, or any other number of causes.

; Why are there so many Avengers?
: The number of Avengers has {{w|List of Avengers members|varied greatly}} over the years and decades, each time with its own justification for why they need to work together, but the simplest answer is money. Cross-branding and cross-merchandising is successful to the brand and brings in new readers, plus creates a new franchise to profit from.

; Why are the Avengers fighting the X Men
: {{w|Avengers vs. X-Men}} was a 2012 Marvel crossover event that, like many other recent comic book events, had heroes fight other heroes. In this case, the {{w|Avengers (comics)|Avengers}} and the {{w|X-Men}} fought over the {{w|Phoenix Force (comics)|Phoenix Force}}, a godlike power that often possesses {{w|Jean Grey}} or her descendants (in this case, her alternate universe daughter Hope Summers). The Avengers believed the Phoenix Force is too powerful for humanity to control and wanted to contain it, while the X-Men believed the Phoenix was the messiah for mutants and could fix all of the Earth's problems.

; Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers
: Wolverine ''has'' been an Avenger, in some circumstances. e.g. in the {{w|The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes}} cartoon series, the episode ''New Avengers'' had Wolverine (along with Spider-man, War Machine, The Thing and Luke Cage and Iron Fist) substitute while the 'original' Avengers were unavailable to deal with the current crisis (which of course included the fate of the 'proper' Avengers). However, in general his anti-authority personality makes him a difficult team-member to field, and he has frequently disassociated himself even from the X-Men. But, in Avengers vs. X-Men (see above) Wolverine ''sided'' with The Avengers, and more modern treatments have even included the character in about as much a permanent a membership of the group as Logan is ever likely to have. But if the question is about why Wolverine didn't appear in {{w|The Avengers (2012 film)|''The Avengers''}}, the answer is that ''The Avengers'' is being produced by Marvel/Disney, while Fox still has the rights to the X-Men and all Marvel mutants in general. Unless there is studio agreement, the two properties cannot cross, except through complicated machinations. For example, there were plans to bring Avengers mainstays Quicksilver and The Scarlet Witch to both the ''Avengers'' and ''X-Men'' franchises (plans which successfully came to pass after this comic was written) but only the Fox films had the right to call them the children of Magneto at the time, and Marvel/Disney couldn't even identify them on-screen as "mutants".

===Section Five===

; Why are there ants in my laptop?
: Ants usually come in your laptop when there are little crumbs of food. It is advised to get screen protectors.

; Why is Earth tilted?
: The Earth's axial "tilt", wherein its axis of rotation is not perpendicular it its orbit, is a result of conservation of momentum when the Earth was formed, because not everything orbits in the same way. This is pure happenstance.

; Why is space black?
: What we call black is the absence of light. Space is mostly empty, and although there are many stars, the light from most of these stars hasn't reached us yet. In addition, a lot of light has been stretched by {{w|redshift}} so it's no longer visible to us. See {{w|Olbers' paradox}}

; Why is outer space so cold?
: It's hard to actually define a temperature for space - it's empty, so there's nothing to measure. However, most of space has very little radiation hitting it, so a person won't receive any energy, but will still radiate some away, resulting in a net loss of energy, colloquially "heat." Around the Earth, objects in direct sunlight will actually get very hot. In deep space, there is almost no warming radiation.

; Why are there pyramids on the moon?
: There are no pyramids on the moon. However, the appearance of mountains and some craters on the moon have fooled some into believing there are pyramids on the moon, but these claims are false.

; Why is NASA shutting down?
: NASA isn't shutting down. This question might have something to do with the {{w|United States federal government shutdown of 2013}} or perhaps due to the {{w|Space Shuttle program}} ending in 2011, but that is not the entirety of NASA.

===Section Six===

; Why are there tiny spiders in my house?

; Why do spiders come inside?

; Why are there huge spiders in my house?

; Why are there lots of spiders in my house?

; Why are there spiders in my room?

; Why are there so many spiders in my room?
: During autumn in particular male spiders reaching maturing will set off to find a mate. By chance they may end up in your house. When encountering spiders in large numbers, it is more likely that they are young from the same female spider. Females lay {{w|Spider#Reproduction_and_life_cycle|up to 3,000}} eggs at a time. These questions also play off of Munroe's longstanding fear of spiders, especially the [[8: Red spiders|red spiders]] mentioned in [[:Category:Red Spiders|several early comics]].

; Why do spider bites itch?
: This mostly happens as an immune response to [https://www.mnn.com/health/fitness-well-being/stories/why-do-mosquito-bites-itch histamines] under the skin which are injected through saliva. This entire string of questions is intended as a joke, the implication being that they all came from one person whose house (and later room) was taken over by spiders which then bit them.

; Why is dying so scary?
: Part of human nature is the fear of the unknown, and death is the ultimate unknown because it is not knowable until it's experienced, and there is nobody to report what the result was. This leaves it open to speculation, and many major religions are based on preparing one's soul for death. Also, dying would leave loved ones' families with the responsibility of taking care of their remains and finances. And finally, most people don't want to die, living for as long as possible, possibly because the unknown is too unbearable to cope with. Several causes of death are known to inflict pain to the victim, and fear of pain is an instilled evolutionary safeguard for preventing harm to a sapient creature. Still though several people are not afraid of death and dying, and recognize life is short and to cherish each moment while we can. Death is inevitable, so we should not fear it. In addition, it would be evolutionarily advantageous for our ancestors to have feared and avoided death.

; Why is there no GPS in laptops?
: It is possible for laptops to have a GPS, and some do. But there are [https://security.stackexchange.com/questions/50907/are-there-gps-tracker-for-laptops design difficulties] that have to be overcome including battery draining, room within the crowded device to place a receiver, WiFi can give a location just as well, and the product casing could interfere with its ability to functional normally and receive the signals necessary to operate as intended. Some Dell computers have these, but the privacy one needs to give up accepting the terms and conditions makes it unfavorable.

; Why do knees click?
: Typical of other clicking and cracking of joints, this may be the sound of [https://www.webmd.com/pain-management/knee-pain/features/knee-cracks-pops ligaments tightening]. However, do not rely on a wiki to diagnose a medical condition. Consult a licensed physician.

; Why aren't there E grades?
: E grades [https://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/02/e-f-grading-scale/ actually exist] in some districts, but they are rare. In their long and bizarre history, E was originally used where F is today (E was the lowest grade), but in those systems, students often received E's for an "Excellent" grade, creating much confusion. F was used in place instead and E was eliminated from a standard grading scale.

; Why is isolation bad?
: Isolation is when a person deliberately secludes themselves away from others, often far-removed from society. This can happen in locations as small as a city apartment and as large as the open woods. People evolved as social animals and it is generally held that those who isolate themselves suffer from depression or other forms of psychological imbalance. Of course, society can trigger many of these imbalances causing an individual to isolate themselves. Isolation is often seen as therapeutic so people can spend time with themselves constructively, often finding peace within themselves and through mediation. Monks and hermits generally live in solitude as well. Many people view a decision to be isolated as noble, and others as healthy. While general interaction is largely healthy, in the crowded modern world, isolation is neither good or bad; it depends on the person and what that isolation does to them.

; Why do boys like me?
: Attraction comes in many forms: physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, among others. Some people will lie about what they like about you to get something from you (money, sex, etc.), but most are genuine. It is not possible to assert definitively why one person may like another person, and that is something that needs to be discussed openly and honestly with them and nobody else.

; Why don't boys like me?
: Similar to the answer above about what makes one desirable to another, there are an equal number of factors that make one unappealing. This can include everything from physical appearance to how one treats others. If a person is rude and unfriendly, most people find that not conducive to healthy relationship and avoid the person who is asking. Not being liked by someone you like however does not mean you're wrong or are a bad person and, in most cases, has to do with the person you are asking about.

; Why is there always a Java update?
: [https://www.java.com/en/download/faq/whatis_java.xml Java] is a software that runs on most computers and mobile devices that is crucial to its security and stability. The reason it always updates is because it needs to stay current with the ever-upgrading fleet of browsers, operating systems and software that supports Java. Additionally, Java updates itself so each version can run optimally. Software coding and debugging is a never-ending process towards perfectly stable releases.

; Why are there red dots on my thighs?
: This might be {{w|Petechia}}, which are broken blood vessels, however, do not rely on a wiki to diagnose medical conditions. Consult a licensed physician.

; Why is lying good?
: Lying and other forms of dishonesty is typically seen as bad because it lowers one's credibility and makes them less likely to be trusted in the future. It is almost always advantageous to tell the truth, as lies have a way of escalating as you need to keep expanding on the lie to cover your tracks. There are instances however where lying may be used in more noble circumstances. For example, if a friend asks your opinion on something they have made (such as a poem or painting) that you do not like, it is okay to tell them you like it because protecting their feelings and your relationship is more important than how you feel. Often military personnel are trained to keep national security secrets at all costs and will lie about what they know to save themselves and the country.

===Section Seven===

; Why are there slaves in the bible?
: Slavery was viewed differently in the early years of human civilization before the contemporary moral and ethical conversations began centuries later. The Jewish legal system as presented in the bible {{w|The Bible and slavery|justified slavery}} for a number of reasons, notably to pay off some sort of debt. Slaves were seen as property and their work provided value to the slave owner, but such a relationship was legally required to be temporary, and slaves had some basic human rights. Similarly, slave owners rationalized their ownership through scripture, pointing out that it was in the Bible and therefore okay with God — without wishing to go off on a tangent, if you have to rationalize your system of slavery then it's probably illegal under historic Jewish law.

; Why do twins have different fingerprints?
: Fingerprints are not only from the DNA, but from the conditions in the womb which differ from child to child.

; Why are Americans afraid of dragons?
: This question was the title of a [https://blogs.sfu.ca/courses/spring2012/engl387/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Why-are-Americans-Afraid-of-Dragons.docx 1974 essay] by Ursula K. LeGeuin in which she makes a {{w|Semiotics|semiotic}} analysis of dragon mythology. She argues that our belief in dragons (and those outside of America as well) stems from childhood, much like other ferocious fictional creatures such as goblins and hobbits, but many hold onto these fears as a way of avoiding reality. In her closing argument, she writes, "They know that its truth challenges, even threatens, all that is false, all that is phony, unnecessary, and trivial in the life they have let themselves be forced into living. They are afraid of dragons, because they are afraid of freedom."

; Why is HTTPS crossed out in red?

; Why is there a line through HTTPS?
: The site accessed has an invalid SSL certificate. See [[2634: Red Line Through HTTPS]].

; Why is there a red line through HTTPS on Facebook?
: The website has an invalid SSL certificate. This may be the result of a scam, a misdirection, a typo, or some kind of configuration error in the client or the remote server.

; Why is HTTPS important?
: For security reasons, as a site with HTTPS has encrypted traffic.

===Section Eight===

; Why are there swarms of gnats?
: The reason gnats (and other creatures) tend to swarm together is likely a safety-in-numbers protection, and as a big gathering to find a mate.

; Why is there phlegm?
: {{w|Phlegm#Phlegm|Phlegm}} is a thick, viscous fluid produced by the mucus membranes as a way to clear the airway and aids in the release of bacteria, disease and debris in those passages.

; Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN
: From a Minnesota Paper, [https://www.startribune.com/local/138902104.html the Star Tribune], "Laws prevent the city from poisoning the crows". "Duffy [ {{w|Steve Duffy}}, a co-owner of U.S. Bird Abatement Services, which has contracted with Rochester to get rid of the crows] isn't sure why Rochester has such a bad crow problem; probably a confluence of many bird-friendly conditions that has also made it a magnet for {{w|geese}}. He's seen worse cases but called Rochester's situation 'hideous.'" And best of all, "The city has twice this winter hired experts to chase them off. They tried {{w|lasers}} and bullhorns — hey, get out of here, you crows — and even employed raptors to pick them off, one by one. That worked, for awhile." Unfortunately, they mean a {{w|bird of prey}}, not a {{w|velociraptor}}.

; Why is Psychic weak to Bug
: In Pokémon, Pokémon of the Psychic type like Alakazam are weak to three types of attacks: Ghost, Dark, and Bug. The general theory is that Psychic Pokémon, relying heavily on their thoughts for attacks, are weak to fears, which ghosts, darkness, and bugs can be classified as.

; Why do children get cancer?
: {{w|Cancer}} is an aggressive and often fatal disease that has the potential to affect all humans as well as other organisms. There are multiple types of cancer, each with their own epidemiology, but children are not immune to succumbing to the horrific effects of the disease. Children are subject to the same illnesses adults have, regardless of age, or their innocence. There is no divine or supernatural explanation for this. Simply put, life is a battle for all humans regardless of how small they are.

; Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus?
: {{w|Poseidon}} was the patron deity of the city of {{w|Troy}}, which after a 10-year siege by the Greeks fell due to {{w|Odysseus}}' strategem of the {{w|Trojan_Horse|Trojan horse}}. As the Greeks were returning home after the Trojan War, Oddyseus' ship accidentally landed on the island home of the cyclops Polyphemus, who imprisoned the crew and ate many of them. In order to escape, Odysseus blinded the cyclops. Poseidon, Polyphemus' father, was extremely angered by his son being blinded, so he cursed Odysseus' ship to prevent him from reaching his home in {{W|Ithaca}}. The adventures which Odysseus encountered during his quest for reaching Ithaca are the main theme of {{w|Homer|Homer's}} {{w|Odyssey}} The Odyssey also says that before sailing, the crew forgot to offer a sacrifice as was ordained.

; Why is there ice in space?
: Space is {{w|Outer_space#Environment|Cold}}. The background radiation, which is used to measure the temperature of space's vacuum, is estimated at about 3K (−270 °C; −454 °F). Water freezes at 273.15 K (0 °C; 32 °F). Because the temperature in space is less than the freezing point of water, liquids freeze in space, turning into ice.

===Section Nine===

; Why is there an owl in my back yard?

; Why is there an owl outside my window?
: Owls can be seen all over the world and live in a wide variety of habitats. They are mainly nocturnal, and spend a large portion of the night hunting. The owl in your back yard and your window is likely looking for food.

; Why is there an owl on the dollar bill?
: On the front of a dollar bill, near the upper right '1' is a tiny section of the design which can be seen to represent an owl. Conspiracy theorists will note that owls were symbolically linked to the Masons, while others will instead see a spider.

; Why do owls attack people?
: While owls and human often live in close proximity without problems, as with other species, owls may attack if they feel threatened. When people irritate or otherwise make owls feel unsafe, they retaliate with violence to protect themselves. This may be related to the questions about an owl in one's back yard and outside their window, the implication being that an owl entered someone's house and attacked them.

; Why are AK47s so expensive?
: The market value of an AK47 varies depending on where you live. With strict gun control laws, obtaining an AK47 in the UK is likely to be more expensive due to the risks involved for those supplying the weapon. In former Soviet republics and the Middle East, AK47s are more plentiful, and hence the price is likely to be lower.

; Why are there helicopters circling my house?
: People living in high-crime areas will often hear helicopters circling, especially at night, when police use the helicopter's searchlight to locate and track suspects, or to light a crime scene. Those Googling this question might be wondering if a dangerous fugitive is nearby, or what else may be going on. Potentially, the questioner may be hallucinating the helicopters or imagining themselves as the target due to {{w|paranoid schizophrenia}}, in which either a neurochemical imbalance or distorted thought patterns causes {{w|delusions of persecution}}. Alternately, this question may be a joke because it is so incongruous to the others in this section. The joke is that people would be Googling about owls attacking people and assault rifle prices, which could, ostensibly alert authorities to come to your house to arrest you.

===Section Ten===

; Why are there gods?
: Gods and goddesses are part of mythology and folklore that are used to give spiritual guidance as well as explanations for phenomena that are yet unexplained by natural processes.

; Why are there two Spocks?
: This is probably a reference to the {{w|Star_Trek_(film)|2009 Star Trek movie}} in which the franchise was given a {{w|Reboot_(fiction)|continuity reboot}}. The modified setting is explained in-universe by time travel, with both the villain Nero and the original-timeline Spock being brought back from the 24th century to the 23rd, creating a timeline in which both older Spock (played by Leonard Nimoy) and the younger Spock (played by Zachary Quinto) coexist. Another possibility is that the question refers to the episode {{w|Mirror,_Mirror_(Star_Trek:_The_Original_Series)|"Mirror, Mirror"}}, which mostly takes place in an alternate universe populated by ruthless versions of most of the characters (including Spock).

; Why is Mt Vesuvius there?
: The simple answer is that volcanoes are created by interactions where the Earth's tectonic plates meet. These conditions only exist in a few places on Earth. The question could also be asking, "why is Mt Vesuvius near such a heavily populated area?" Humans have lived near Vesuvius throughout history, due to its pleasant climate, rich soil, and proximity to other major cities. The Italian government [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2003/jun/05/italy.sophiearie offers generous cash incentives] to move people away from the danger zone, but finds few takers.This question could also be a reference to mountaineer {{w|George Mallory}}'s famous answer as to why he wanted to climb Mount Everest: "Because it's there."

; Why do they say T minus?
: Time before the launch of a spacecraft is denoted as "T-minus" because the launch has not happened yet. Any time after the launch is typcally stated with a "plus", for example "T-plus 3 minutes, 17 seconds", so time before the launch is counted downwards as "minus" time. The "T" stands for "Time", as in the practical zero time of launch, although the eventual reaching of zero (related to the intended "L" time of launching) is often still subject to change ''before'' the launch, for both {{w|Built-in hold|planned and unplanned holds}} of arbitrary length.

; Why are there obelisks?
: The {{w|Obelisk}} article has more information.

; Why are wrestlers always wet?
: Professional wrestling is strenuous activity, whether it's fake or not. Strenuous activity results in sweat, giving the bodyan appearance of being wet. Greco-Roman wrestling and Turkish Oil Wrestling both involve oiling the body, giving a similar appearance.

; Why are oceans becoming more acidic?
: Due to the higher amount of carbon dioxide on the atmosphere, which dissolves in the oceans turning into carbonic acid - CO2+H2O=H2CO3 (see {{w|Ocean acidification}})

; Why is Arwen dying?
: {{w|Elf (Middle-Earth)#Death|Elves}} in ''The Lord of the Rings'' can die from grief.

; Why aren't my quail laying eggs?
: Not enough sunlight/calcium, or they are egg bound (very serious)?

; Why aren't my quail eggs hatching?
: Problems in incubation, or the eggs may not be fertilized.

; Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America?
: Further information: {{w|United States military deployments}}This is a very interesting question, albeit one likely based on a regional misunderstanding. Presumably, this question is asked by Americans who assume that the existence of {{w|Category:Military facilities of the United States by country|U.S. military bases abroad}} is a general trend among countries, as opposed to being the rarity that it is. In fact, {{w|List of countries with overseas military bases|only a handful of other countries}} have military bases outside of their borders, and the three—{{w|France}}, the {{w|United Kingdom}}, and {{w|Russia}}—that have more than one or two are all countries that, like the United States, {{w|Allies of World War II|were on the winning side of World War II}}, have {{w|List of countries by military expenditures|massive military expenditures}}, and have {{w|United Nations Security Council veto power|UN Security Council vetoes}}. In other words, only the most militarily elite countries have bases overseas. The U.S. is unique, however, in that it has far more overseas bases than any other country (and, pretty much, far more of anything else than any other country, when it comes to the military), and in that {{w|List of United States military bases|it has bases in several other highly-industrialized nations}}, including {{w|List of United States Army installations in South Korea|South Korea}} and the United Kingdom, and, most notably, the World War II {{w|Axis powers}}: {{w|List of United States Army installations in Germany|Germany}}, {{w|United States s Japan|Japan}}, and {{w|List of United States Army installations in Italy|Italy}}. France, Russia, and the U.K.'s bases, on the other hand, are almost all within areas that they previously controlled.These bases can be controversial in some countries, while in others they are a major source of economic and political stability. The U.S. traditionally justifies their presence as a necessary and crucial element in its efforts to promote peace domestically and worldwide. Despite their major role in {{w|U.S. foreign policy}}, and in the general political structure of the globe, the American public often largely ignores them, and they rarely become a major political issue (apart from an occasional mention by {{w|Libertarian Party (United States)|Libertarian presidential candidates}}).So, essentially, the absence of foreign military bases within the U.S. is primarily because there aren't really any other countries in a position to place bases there. Ironically, although no battles in the traditional sense have been fought within the U.S. since the {{w|U.S. Civil War}} and the U.S. mainland has seen {{w|Mainland invasion of the United States|almost no military action}}, foreign air bases might have been useful on September 11, 2001. (The {{w|attack on Pearl Harbor}} in 1941 was 18 years before Hawaii became a U.S. state, but Hawaii was still a fundamental part of the United States as it was an incorporated territory.)There are, however, foreign troops stationed at some continental US military bases. For example, RAF (British Royal Air ) 39 Sqn and 361 Sqn at Creech Air Base in Nevada flying Reaper and Predator drones. But these are not foreign military bases, they are just guests.

===Section Eleven===

; Why are my boobs itchy?
: It could be anything from dry skin to a rare life-threatening disease. Could also be related to pregnancy, PMS, or puberty. [https://www.just-health.net/Itchy-Breast.html Here's a thorough list] of possible causes and remedies.

; Why are cigarettes legal?
: Despite the obvious detrimental effects nicotine has on health, it is, like caffeine and alcohol, more profitable to regulate than to ban, and is also subject to intense lobbying by tobacco companies to keep it legal. Substances like cocaine and other drugs are mainly illegal because of government attitudes disapproving of recreational drug use coupled with there being no powerful preexisting corporate lobby with a stake in making or keeping these drugs legal, and also, with some drugs (in the US, at least), due to more than a bit of racism (against Mexicans with regard to marijuana, or against Chinese for opium). Nicotine, however, which is the key ingredient in tobacco, is regulated and heavily taxed, bringing income for the government. This is one of the major arguments for legalizing other, currently-illegal drugs, at least the "softer" ones like marijuana, as, if they're legalized, they can be taxed and bring the government more money, and the government can provide an incentive for producers and sellers to keep their product safe and high-quality (by punishing those who mislabel their drugs or cut them with dangerous substances, while letting producers and sellers of safe, high-quality drugs operate without fear of arrest or prosecution).

; Why are there ducks in my pool?
: Most likely, they're looking for a place to mate. Which means you'll soon have baby ducks in your pool. Most migratory birds are protected by wildlife laws, so you want to prevent them from moving into your pool in the first place. The [https://www.dfwwildlife.org/duck.html DFW Wildlife Coalition] has some tips.

; Why is Jesus white?
: This is an ethnocentric viewpoint that varies throughout cultures. In African cultures he is portrayed as black. In short, whatever culture he is introduced to, those inhabitants will have him fit their own image.

; Why is there liquid in my ear?
: [https://www.healthline.com/symptom/discharge-from-ear It's called otorrhea], and can be caused by infection, trauma, or changes in pressure. A common cause is [https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/swimmers-ear/basics/definition/con-20014723 Swimmer's ear], an infection of the outer ear canal. More seriously, it could be Cerebrospinal fluid. This can end up in your ears due to a puncture in the skull's membrane, often due to a collision/concussion. This is a very serious condition. Again, do not take (too much) medical advice from wiki.

; Why do Q tips feel good?
: The inner ear contains {{w|erectile tissue}} (as does your inner nose which is why sneezing feels good) so you are massaging tissue which gets aroused upon stimulation.

; Why do good people die?
: Everybody dies, no matter how good or bad they were. But sometimes if people are really bad, they are made to die sooner. (But loved ones and ones who were known to make memorable or valuable contributions are mourned and revered more than a person who has left much pain to others as their legacy; we remember the good ones and so it hurts more.)

; Why are ultrasounds important?
: Ultrasound scans provide a great deal of information about a fetus, thus increasing the chances of a healthy birth. They have many other medical uses.

; Why are ultrasound machines expensive?
: As hospital equipment goes, ultrasound machines are actually a bargain. [https://www.costowl.com/healthcare/healthcare-ultrasound-machine-costs.html A new ultrasound machine] costs about $20,000-$75,000, depending on features. Comparable devices are much more expensive: The [https://info.blockimaging.com/bid/84432/CT-Scanner-Price-Guide CT scanner] runs $90,000-$250,000, while the [https://www.ehow.com/about_4731161_much-do-mri-machines-cost.html MRI machine] easily goes over a million.

; Why is stealing wrong?
: Stealing is theft, and it is illegal. Taking something that is not yours without permission or payment hurts the livelihood of other individuals as well as damages their trust in others.

==Transcript==
: [This strip is a rectangular word cloud, titled 'Questions found in Google autocomplete'. Embedded in the cloud are five single panels, with illustrated questions. These are described at the end. Questions are given in roughly columnar order. None of the questions have question marks.]

: Questions found in Google Autocomplete

: Why do whales jump
: Why are witches green
: Why are there mirrors above beds
: Why do I say uh
: Why is sea salt better
: Why are there trees in the middle of fields
: Why is there not a Pokemon MMO
: Why is there laughing in TV shows
: Why are there doors on the freeway
: Why are there so many svchost.exe running
: Why aren't there any countries in antarctica
: Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft
: Why is there kicking in my stomach
: Why are there two slashes after HTTP
: Why are there celebrities
: Why do snakes exist
: Why do oysters have pearls
: Why are ducks called ducks
: Why do they call it the clap
: Why are Kyle and Cartman friends
: Why is there an arraow on Aang's head
: Why are text messages blue
: Why are there mustaches on clothes
: Why are there mustaches on cars
: Why are there mustaches everywhere
: Why are there so many birds in Ohio
: Why is there so much rain in Ohio
: Why is Ohio weather so weird
: Why are there male and female bikes
: Why are there bridesmaids
: Why do dying people reach up
: Why aren't there varicose arteries
: Why are old Klingons different
: Why is programming so hard
: Why is there a 0 ohm resistor
: Why do Americans hate soccer
: Why do rhymes sound good
: Why do trees die
: Why is there no sound on CNN
: Why aren't Pokemon real
: Why aren't bullets sharp
: Why do dreams seem so real
: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts
: Why do iguanas die
: Why do testicles move
: Why are there psychics
: Why are hats so expensive
: Why is there caffeine in my shampoo
: Why do your boobs hurt
: Why aren't economists rich
: Why do Americans call it soccer
: Why are my ears ringing
: Why are there so many Avengers
: Why are the Avengers fighting the X men
: Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers
: Why are there ants in my laptop
: Why is Earth tilted
: Why is space black
: Why is outer space so cold
: Why are there pyramids on the moon
: Why is NASA shutting down
: Why is there Hell if God forgives
: Why are there tiny spiders in my house
: Why do spiders come inside
: Why are there huge spiders in my house
: Why are there lots of spiders in my house
: Why are there spiders in my room
: Why are there so many spiders in my room
: Why do spider bites itch
: Why is dying so scary
: Why is there no GPS in laptops
: Why do knees click
: Why aren't there E grades
: Why is isolation bad
: Why do boys like me
: Why don't boys like me
: Why is there always a Java update
: Why are there red dots on my thighs
: Why is lying good
: Why is GPS free
: Why are trees tall
: Why are there slaves in the Bible
: Why do twins have different fingerprints
: Why are Americans afraid of dragons
: Why is there lava
: Why are there swarms of gnats
: Why is there phlegm
: Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN
: Why is psychic weak to bug
: Why do children get cancer
: Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus
: Why is there ice in space
: Why are there female Mr Mimes
: Why is there an owl in my backyard
: Why is there an owl outside my window
: Why is there an owl on the dollar bill
: Why do owls attack people
: Why are AK47s so expensive
: Why are there helicopters circling my house
: Why are there gods
: Why are there two Spocks
: Why is Mt Vesuvius there
: Why do they say T minus
: Why are there obelisks
: Why are wrestlers always wet
: Why are oceans becoming more acidic
: Why is Arwen dying
: Why aren't my quail laying eggs
: Why aren't my quail eggs hatching
: Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America
: Why is life so boring
: Why are my boobs itchy
: Why are cigarettes legal
: Why are there ducks in my pool
: Why is Jesus white
: Why is there liquid in my ear
: Why do Q tips feel good
: Why do good people die
: Why are ultrasounds important
: Why are ultrasound machines expensive
: Why is stealing wrong
: Why is YKK on all zippers
: Why is HTTPS crossed out in red
: Why is there a line through HTTPS
: Why is there a red line through HTTPS on Facebook
: Why is HTTPS important
: Why are there weeks
: Why do I feel dizzy
: Why are dogs afraid of fireworks
: Why is there no king in England

: [We see Cueball from the torso up, with arms outstretched.]
: Cueball: Why aren't my arms growing

: [Megan stands with a grey ghost on either side of her.]
: Megan: Why are there ghosts

: [Beret Guy stands, looking at a squirrel.]
: Beret Guy: Why are there squirrels

: [Cueball stands.]
: Cueball: Why is sex so important.

: [We see Ponytail from the torso up.]
: Ponytail: Why aren't there guns in Harry Potter

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Pokémon]]
[[Category:Google Search]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]
[[Category:Weather]]
[[Category:Harry Potter]]
[[Category:Religion]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Volcanoes]]
[[Category:Minecraft]]
[[Category:Ants]]
[[Category:Comics featuring children]]
[[Category:Disney]]
[[Category:Ghosts]]

1256: Questions

2026-03-10T15:27:05Z

Amateurautist: /* Section Nine */

{{distinguish|1448: Question|common=Questions}}
{{comic
| number = 1256
| date = August 26, 2013
| title = Questions
| image = questions.png
| titletext = To whoever typed 'why is arwen dying': GOOD. FUCKING. QUESTION.
}}
A larger version of the picture can be found [https://xkcd.com/1256/large here].

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|
;Does not explain the juxtaposition jokes
This article is a little overly literal and fails to explain the actual recurring joke of the comic, which is the juxtaposition of related searches in specific orders for a humorous implication. For example, the [[#Section Six|series of spider-related searches]] capped with, "Why are spider bites itchy?", implying that the person who was distressed about all the spiders has been bitten. Simply including the answers to the questions doesn't actually explain the source of humor.}}
{{w|Google}} has a feature known as [https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/106230?hl=en autocomplete] that guesses at search queries before they are fully typed out. These guesses are generally made based on popular searches by other people. From time to time, a particularly strange or hilarious one may be found, as is evidenced in this comic.

All the questions in the comic are "why" questions, so many of them are predicated on false assumptions, such as "Why are there pyramids on the Moon". Originally, all these questions and many more (33,171 in total) could be found at [http://xkcd.com/why.txt xkcd.com/why.txt] (now defunct, [https://web.archive.org/web/20170510061043/https://xkcd.com/why.txt archived version]).

There are many reasons Randall may have chosen to highlight so many disparate questions without answers. Some questions have simple answers, some are difficult, some have many different potential answers, but all of them show humans seeking knowledge. There are no stupid questions.

The sections below explain each question by splitting the comic into arbitrary blocks. As a general rule, section numbers work top to bottom, then right to left. A Reddit user has also [https://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/1l3na7/questions/cbvigrd answered all the questions].

===Title text===
The title text is a reference to the Peter Jackson films of {{w|The Lord of the Rings (film series)|''The Lord of the Rings'' trilogy}}, where Arwen becomes sickly for unspecified reasons as the plot advances, apparently giving Aragorn a more personal reason to fight. The only explanation given is by Elrond, who says "As Sauron's power grows, her [Arwen's] strength wanes." This subplot is entirely absent from the {{w|The Lord of the Rings|original novels}}.

From [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0167260/faq#.2.1.21 IMDB]: <blockquote>
Arwen, like her father (and brothers) is considered to be a Half-Elf, the result of a union between an Elf and a mortal human. The Half-Elven of Middle-earth get a choice, to remain immortal and return to the West (Valinor) or to become mortal and to die as humans do. Elrond chose to remain an Elf. Arwen (like her uncle Elros) chooses to become mortal in order to wed and remain with Aragorn. Elrond senses this; this is what he means when he says that Arwen is dying. It is the same as in The Last Unicorn, when the unicorn is given the form of a human woman and can feel that she is no longer immortal ("I can feel this body dying all around me"). According to Tolkien, though, after Aragorn dies in the year 120 (Fourth Age), Arwen returns to Lórien, where she dies by choice the following winter. </blockquote>

===Illustrated panels===

; Why aren't my arms growing?
: Arms stop growing because longer arms would not be a very useful way to spend resources. Human DNA has programmed the body to gradually ossify (turn to bone) the growing arms and legs, closing the {{w|epiphyseal plate}} (the flat plate at the end of each long bone), at which point they stop growing. Alternately, the muscles of the arm, which may have been the intended subject of the question, may fail to grow if not exercised with appropriate resistance, repetition or frequency; if nutrition is insufficient; if insufficient recovery time is given; or if sufficient levels of certain hormones like growth hormone or testosterone are not present.

; Why are there ghosts?
: There is no hard evidence of ghosts. The reason you are seeing ghosts could be {{w|pareidolia}} or some {{w|cognitive bias}}.

; Why are there squirrels?
: Squirrels are the product of a long sequence of evolution, like any other animal. They persist because they effectively reproduce and compete for resources within their niche, but they are also the product of many circumstantial events that has led to them being the way they are.

; Why is sex so important?
: Sex is important biologically because it is the primary method of reproduction in many different species. It is important culturally because it causes hard-to-control urges that affect behaviour, plays an important role in human relationships, and serves as a key form of [https://www.dissentmagazine.org/article/seizing-means-reproduction-laura-briggs-reproductive-politics-review/ reproductive labor]. However, it can be of varying importance to different people (see [https://www.asexuality.org/home/?q=overview.html asexuality]).

; Why aren't there guns in Harry Potter?
: In the ''{{w|Harry Potter}}'' universe, [https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Gun guns ''do'' exist] and are mentioned at the beginning of ''{{w|Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban}}'', when the news gives a warning that Sirius Black has one. Muggle technology (human inventions) are often looked down on by wizards - the majority of half-blooded wizards won't touch one, let alone a wizard extremist like {{w|Voldemort}}. Not only does any Muggle device more complex than a wristwatch interfere with magical artifacts, but wands are usually more versatile than most guns; a revolver can't shoot lightning, summon items, or teleport its user. Finally, while Harry himself may or may not consider using firearms due to his Muggle upbringing, ''Harry Potter'' is set in the United Kingdom (which has stricter gun laws than, say, the United States).

===Vertical questions===

; Why is there hell if God forgives?
: There is not a single answer to this question. The answer varies based on the religion and that religion's sect mixed with personal interpretations of that religions scripture and how a person decides to follow it. However, the idea of what Hell will be like also varies. There is no one answer to this question, but the easiest explanation is that the individual did not pray hard enough, correctly, was not part of the right religion, and their forgiveness was contingent on something that the person either did not do or know to do (or say or think).

; Why do iguanas die?
: All living things die,{{cn}} but iguanas may suffer from [https://www.anapsid.org/iguana/kidneyfailure.html kidney failure].

; Why is GPS free?
: GPS was originally developed by the U.S. military for its own use, not for commercial purposes. However, the government realized that free GPS would have a significant bonus for the economy and would prevent disasters like the {{w|Korean Air Lines Flight 007}} where a plane was shot down after accidentally entering Soviet airspace, and in 1983 President Reagan declared that the US would make GPS available to all. At one point, "{{w|selective availability}}" was used to degrade performance for civilian users, but since 2000 this has also been switched off.

; Why are trees tall?
: Tall is a relative term, and Redwoods are famous for their height - among the tallest in the world. The reason for this is, in part [https://www.nps.gov/redw/faqs.htm climate, fog, rain, good soil, few predators, among others].

; Why are there female Mr. Mimes?
: {{w|Mr. Mime}} is a Pokémon introduced in the first generation of the games, and despite its name, it can be either of a male or female gender. As the Pokémon was introduced before the concept of [https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Gender gender in Pokémon games], it is likely that the people in charge of translating its Japanese name (Barrierd) did not take this into account during the process.

; Why is there lava?
: {{w|Lava}} is magma (molten rock) which is at the Earth's surface. Magma in the Earth comes from the melting of rock due to rising heat from deeper within the planet. {{w|Earth's internal heat budget|This heat}} is about half radiogenic and half primordial (left over from the formation and differentiation of the Earth). Most of the crust and mantle of the Earth is solid rock, but in places (usually controlled by plate tectonics, but {{w|Hawaii hotspot|not always}}) where the heat is high enough the minerals with lowest melting point start to melt and then migrate upwards towards the surface. This melt collects in {{w|Magma chamber|magma chambers}}, in which the magma may start to cool and crystallize. Sometimes it will crystallize completely, becoming an underground solid body called a pluton. Other times melt will keep migrating upwards until it reaches the surface and erupts as lava, forming a {{w|volcano}} or undersea vent.

; Why is YKK on all zippers?
: {{w|YKK}} Group is the name of a large group of Japanese manufacturing companies, which among other things manufacture a lot of zippers. YKK zippers are also considered to be some of the best available, so a clothing maker including a YKK zipper would likely leave the YKK name on, instead of getting no branding or rebranding them.

; Why is life so boring?
: It is up to an individual to find meaning and interest in life. Monotony, predictability, and lack of physical and intellectual stimulation would lead to a feeling of boredom.

; Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?
: Ghosts are a supernatural phenomenon that have not been empirically proven to exist. Those who believe in ghosts implicitly believe in a soul (of which a ghost is a materialization of), and it is a commonly held belief by religious institutions and ghost-hunters that animals do not have souls and thus dinosaurs would not have any either.

; Why is there no king in England?
: At the time of publication, {{w|Elizabeth II}} was the Queen of England, and continued to be so for another decade, ending up having been so for over 70 years.

:In colloquial usage, any married couple reigning over a monarchy is known as the king and queen. For the past several hundred years, there has almost always been a queen in England, the sole exceptions being when the king has not had a wife. (Also, "England" is commonly used as the equivalent to "The United Kingdom", often incorrectly.) However, there is a distinction between being the Queen of England (that is to say, {{w|List of British monarchs|a monarch}} in her own right) and any {{w|queen consort|Queen ''Consort''}} of England (the woman married to, or who later marries, the man who has become its King).

:Monarchies tend to strongly select for Kings (with or without consorts). At times of strife, very few {{w|Empress Matilda|'queen's}} enter the fray. Peaceful {{w|succession to the British throne}} has been for a long governed in England by {{w|male-preference cognatic primogeniture}} which disproportionately favours male descendants. And British laws and customs have been generally built around the presumption that the monarch would be a man, and that man would be married to a woman, [[223: Valentine's Day|comic 223]] be damned. The consort (wife) to the King may be popularly styled as "Queen <her name>" but would not normally be a functional title. If she survives her husband, {{w|Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother|her continued use of the honorific}} does not exclude the successive monarch having (or being) a new queen.

:Despite everything, throughout the {{w|Acts of Union 1707|current continuity of the modern British throne}} two women have begun to reign as Queen in their own right. It just so happens that these two have been two of the longest-reigning monarchs in world history, {{w|Queen Victoria}} and Queen Elizabeth II herself. Both of these have been influential and famed not just in 'England' but around the world, and this fact may add to people noting the rare but conspicuous lack of an 'English' king historically (despite five times as many actual Kings). This is especially true within the living memory of those who asked the questions in the comic, who may never have lived through the time prior to Elizabeth II.

:The title of "{{w|king consort}}" exists but has not been used. Instead Victoria and Elizabeth's respective consorts, {{w|Albert, Prince Consort|Albert}} and {{w|Prince Philip|Philip}}, were given alternate titles — Albert as {{w|Prince Consort}} and Philip as "{{w|British prince|Prince of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland}}" (both commonly referred to as "Prince ..."). These titles being by gift of their own queen and spouse, though Albert was already formally a prince of {{w|Saxe-Coburg and Gotha}} whilst Philip had previously been prince of {{w|Danish royal family|Denmark}} and {{w|Greek royal family|Greece}} but had renounced both titles before marrying then-Princess Elizabeth. Earlier in history, various {{w|Mary II of England|co-ruling queens}}, and {{w|Elizabeth I|unmarried queens}} had also avoided any need for the "consort" title.

:Much more recently, the system of male-preference {{w|Succession to the Crown Act 2013|was changed}} to ''absolute'' primogeniture, where (for all those born after 2011) males are no longer favoured over females, in the otherwise strict chronology of descent. Should the monarchy continue onwards without further social change, there are now likely to be far more actual Queens in the future (with or without consorts); however, already the first three members of Elizabeth II's senior line of descent are male: Prince Charles, as was, Elizabeth's eldest son; Prince William, Charles's eldest son; and Prince George, William's eldest child (being born in 2013).

:It would still likely take a while (or unpredictable circumstances) before England has its next Queen in her own right and the question becomes relevent again. Since Elizabeth's death in September 2022, {{w|Charles III}} has indeed automatically become the King of England, and his current wife {{w|Camilla, Queen consort of the United Kingdom|Camilla}} is Queen Consort (but not formally the Queen of England). No further children are expected, nor would any normally change the immediate line of succession. The second child of William, {{w|Princess Charlotte of Cornwall and Cambridge|Princess Charlotte}} (born 2015), now rises accordingly to be third in line from Charles — behind William and her elder brother, at least until such time as George might himself eventually have an heir of his own, male or female.

; Why do I feel dizzy?
: Balance is achieved from fluids in the inner ear, but {{w|Dizziness#Epidemiology|dizziness}} can have nearly a dozen causes.

; Why are dogs afraid of fireworks?
: Loud noises can trigger their flight or fight responses when they are [https://www.cesarsway.com/dogbehavior/hyperdog/How-to-Keep-Your-Dog-Safe-and-Calm-During-Fireworks nervous].

; Why are there weeks?
: Weeks were originally important for religious reasons, primarily the requirement to observe a sabbath (day of rest) every seventh day. Today it is used to create a common schedule that doesn't change due to month length, much like the months divide a year to be able to schedule things like dentist appointments. Similarly, hours and minutes divide a day making it possible to create a schedule.

===Section One===
; Why do whales jump?
: Partly to get air, partly because it's an effective way to catch prey near the surface, and partly because they just seem to find it fun - it's like going into outer space!{{Actual citation needed}}

; Why are witches green?
: See {{w|The Wizard of Oz (1939 film)|The Wizard of Oz}}. The Wicked Witch' green skin looked really good in the film's {{w|Technicolor}}.

; Why are there mirrors above beds?
: Often, these are used by couples to view themselves during sex.

; Why do I say Uh?
: See ''[https://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/05/06/the_odd_body_language_fillers/ Why do we say 'um', 'er', or 'ah' when we hesitate in speaking?]''.

; Why is sea salt better?
: The question likely refers to the difference between common {{w|Fortified table salt}} and usually more expensive sea salt. While a major part of both of these is sodium chloride (NaCl) the idea behind the claim is the different composition mostly in regard to trace elements of sea salt compared to "normal" salt. Table salt's composition is often influenced by a country's health department and thus addition of trace elements is regulated. While these regulations are based on scientific studies there remain to be debates concerning the additions, such as iodine.

; Why are there trees in the middle of fields?
: Many images of fields contain singular trees in the middle of them. While there exist such trees it is likely an artistic choice to give a more pleasing or aesthetically satisfying image compared to just a field. In modern agriculture those would in fact be quite troublesome since they are a hindrance to large machines used and a new tree would be unlikely to grow in a constantly worked field, although they can be useful in fields for grazing animals, since they provide shade. Before mechanized agriculture, such trees would also be planted to give the workers a place to rest in the shade without having to go all the way back from a large field.

; Why is there not a Pokémon MMO?
: {{w|Pokémon}} is a popular franchise, spanning game consoles, anime series, a trading card game, and many other things. Among fans, it is a frequent topic of discussion why a Pokémon {{w|massively multiplayer online game}} has not been officially announced by the series' developers {{w|Game Freak}}, as they often [https://www.dorkly.com/comic/52546/be-careful-what-you-wish-for predict] that such a game would be extremely popular and bring in massive revenue for the company. However, if Game Freak were to develop a Pokémon MMO the MMOs would be strong competition against the console games and therefore reducing the Pokémon demographic significantly. The mobile app {{w|Pokémon Go}} has since partly filled the MMO niche, with multiplayer interactivity through item drops and fighting at gyms.

; Why is there laughing in TV shows?
: Sitcoms were once filmed with an audience, so the actors could respond to their reactions. That's the historical reason there were laughs in TV shows. The tradition continues, with the difference that now the laughter mostly comes from recorded tapes. See {{w|Laugh track}}.

; Why are there doors on the freeway?
: Highway/freeway {{w|noise barrier|noise barriers}} sometimes have doors in them to allow workers access to both sides of the barrier. They also serve as emergency exits in case of large traffic collisions (which can cause fire and smoke), for people to leave on foot.

; Why are there so many svchost.exe running?
: See {{w|svchost.exe}}.

; Why aren't there any countries in Antarctica?
: {{w|Antarctica}} is the southernmost continent and is by large covered in ice and in general pretty cold. While it is a regular target of tourists and researchers it also lacks native human inhabitants. At the moment, the territorial claims concerning Antarctica are mostly handled via the {{w|Antarctic Treaty System}}. In short there are a few countries who claim certain parts of the continent as their own in theory but so far it is considered neutral territory and most maps don't concern themselves with displaying the (in some regards disputed) territorial claims because they do not matter at this point in time. If there are ever any worthwhile resources discovered, this might change.

; Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft?
: To add atmosphere and to give players hints when there is a dark cave nearby. See [https://minecraft.wiki/w/Ambience Ambience Minecraft Wiki].

; Why is there kicking in my stomach?
: See ''[https://www.webmd.com/baby/fetal-movement-feeling-baby-kick Feeling Your Baby Kick]''. Here, ''stomach'' means ''abdomen''.

; Why are there two slashes after http?
: See ''[https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1220286/Sir-Tim-Berners-Lee-admits-forward-slashes-web-address-mistake.html Sir Tim Berners-Lee admits the forward slashes in every web address 'were a mistake']''.

; Why are there celebrities?
: There are certain people who are more respected and well-known than other people, whether it be because of their acting career, major advancements to science, or a sex tape.

; Why do snakes exist?
: The question is rather general and likely based on a widespread dislike for the reptilians. Be it due to their appearance, their spread, or the danger a few snakes pose to humans (often due to being venomous) many people have a dislike for snakes and would prefer them to not exist (similar to spiders). In regard to "why do snakes exist on earth?": Because evolution. Snakes fill a gap in the ecosystem as predators and hunt different species, including vermin. Snakes are in that regard similar to many other predatory animals. The question on why snakes developed with their distinct streamlined shape is still debated but {{w|snakes|likely it either provided an advantage when burrowing or swimming}}.

; Why do oysters have pearls?
: {{w|Pearl}}s are formed inside the shell of certain mollusks as a defense mechanism against a potentially threatening irritant such as a parasite inside the shell, or an attack from outside, injuring the mantle tissue. The mollusk creates a pearl sac to seal off the irritation. Pearls are commonly viewed by scientists as a by-product of an adaptive immune system-like function.

; Why are ducks called ducks?
: See {{w|Duck#Etymology|Duck § Etymology}}. {{Wiktionary|duck|According to Wiktionary}}, the noun ''duck'' can be traced back to the {{w|Proto-Germanic language|Proto-Germanic}} word {{Wiktionary|Appendix:Proto-Germanic/dūkaną|''dūkaną''}} ("to dive, bend down"), and, in turn, the {{w|Proto-Indo-European language|Proto-Indo-European}} {{Wiktionary|Appendix:Proto-Indo-European/dʰewb-|''dʰewb-''}} ("deep, hollow"), which is the origin of the verb ''to duck''. The link between the noun and the verb comes from ducks' tendency to dive under water for short periods of time.

; Why do they call it the clap?
: Paris' medieval Red Light district was called "les clapiers" (the rabbit cages), therefore people were getting {{w|gonorrhea}} there

; Why are Kyle and Cartman friends?
: The question relates to the TV show {{w|South Park}}. Both are children living in the small titular town in Colorado. Cartman is widely accepted to a be very bad person, one of his many character flaws being his antisemitism. Kyle on the other hand is a Jew. However, both, along with two other kids, Stan and Kenny, are the core focus of the show (or used to be) and to some extents are considered to be friends. While there are episodes which show Cartman being not entirely a horrible person and him holding Kyle in a position of at least a worthy adversary, most of the time the question should be "Why is anyone friends with Cartman?" However, they most likely remain "friends" because they are in the same class at school and are therefore "forced" to be around one another.

; Why is there an arrow on Aang's head?
: {{w|Avatar: The Last Airbender#Characters|Aang}} is the main character of the TV series {{w|Avatar the last Airbender|Avatar - The Last Airbender}} and features as part of a large body spanning tattoo an arrow on his head. These tattoos are made to replicate the markings of one of the shows fictional animals, the air bison which are regarded as the original air benders. They are given to human air benders once they attain the status of masters. Because Aang acquired this status very early in life he was already tattooed accordingly.

; Why are text messages blue?
: This likely refers to iMessage chat being blue. These messages are blue when sending a message to another Apple device. When sent as an RCS or SMS message, they will be green.

; Why are there mustaches on clothes?
: Because some people buy them. Mustaches, especially handlebar-style mustaches, were a popular fad at the time of this comic.

; Why are there mustaches on cars?
: Fuzzy pink mustaches are used to designate cars in the {{w|Lyft}} service.

; Why are there mustaches everywhere?
: See {{w|Movember}}

; Why are there so many birds in Ohio?
: There are an estimated [https://oh.audubon.org/bsc/SOTB.html 400 bird species] in {{w|List of birds of Ohio|Ohio}}, but there are [https://www.jstor.org/discover/2419997sid=21104910103541&uid=4&uid=3739776&uid=2&uid=3739256 2.74 nesting pairs per acre].

; Why is there so much rain in Ohio?
: {{w|lake_effect|Lake-effect}} rain develops in the same manner as lake-effect snow.

; Why is Ohio weather so weird?
: See {{w|Lake-effect snow}}.

===Section Two===

; Why are there male and female bikes?
: Historically, women's {{w|bicycle}} frames had a top tube that connected in the middle of the seat tube instead of the top, resulting in a lower {{w|Frame geometry|standover height}} at the expense of compromised structural integrity, since this places a strong bending load in the seat tube, and bicycle frame members are typically weak in bending. This design, referred to as a {{w|step-through frame}} or as an open frame, allows the rider to mount and dismount in a dignified way while wearing a skirt or dress.</blockquote>

; Why are there bridesmaids?
: See {{w|Bridesmaid#Origin and history|Bridesmaid § Origin and history}}.

; Why do dying people reach up?
: In many works of fiction dying people are regarded with an outstretched arm, grasping for unseen objects towards the sky. In all likelihood this originates in the idea of heaven as the place where (good) people go after death. People "reach for the light" which is seen when dying according to similar beliefs or possibly for already dead relatives or other associated people waiting for them. An alternative hypothesis is that they want to hug/touch their loved ones one last time.

; Why aren't there varicose arteries?
: Blood moves through veins due to irregular pressure from skeletal muscles combined with valves to control direction. In varicose veins these valves malfunction affecting blood flow. In arteries blood flow is produced directly from pressure caused by the heart.

; Why are old Klingons different?
: {{w|Klingon Redesign|From Wikipedia}}: <blockquote>For {{w|Star Trek: The Motion Picture}} (1979), the Klingons were retconned, and their appearance and behavior radically changed. To give the aliens a more sophisticated and threatening demeanor, the Klingons were depicted with ridged foreheads, snagged and prominent teeth, and a defined language and alphabet. Lee Cole, a production designer, used red gels and primitive shapes in the design of Klingon consoles and ship interiors, which took on a dark and moody atmosphere. The alphabet was designed as angular, with sharp edges harkening to the Klingon's militaristic focus.[5] Costume designer Robert Fletcher created new uniforms for the Klingons, reminiscent of feudal Japanese armor.</blockquote>Additionally, there is an in-universe explanation: A [https://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Klingon_augment_virus Klingon augment virus] was deployed to make enhanced warriors, but accidentally made weaker Klingons with human-like features. These afflicted Klingons were the ones seen in the original series.

; Why is programming so hard?
: Programming is the art of writing instructions for a computer to do. Since the computer has a limited set of instructions for you to use it involves a new way of thinking for many. It is also hard because the computer itself is not smart or adaptable to unexpected problems. For instance, when humans are told to sort books in a shelf, they can do that even if there are things in the way (simply moving them to the side). A computer will generally just crash if it doesn't have instructions on how to deal with the unexpected problem.

; Why is there a 0 Ohm resistor?
: A resistor is usually designed to create a certain resistance, measured in {{w|Ohm}} in an electronic device. A 0 Ohm resistor seems pointless as it would only provide the same resistance as a normal cable. However, a 0 Ohm resistor works as an easy way to connect two points of a circuit board utilizing the same machines used to place other resistors. Wikipedia's {{w|Zero-ohm link}} article gives a good explanation.

; Why do Americans hate soccer?
: Soccer, or (association) football in British English, is rather unpopular in the USA compared to most other regions of the world. Finding a particular reason behind the (dis)like for certain sports, apart from cultural spread, is difficult. One possible explanation is soccer's tendency to have far fewer points scored in an average game and a higher likelihood of draws compared to such things as American Football, basketball or baseball, which are far more popular. In how far this is a legitimate argument for regarding soccer as "less interesting" is up to debate. The assumption that Americans dislike soccer is also somewhat dated; the national Womens' team is the most successful in the world, having won 4 FIFA Women's World Cups and consistently encouraging more youngsters to take up the sport. Unfortunately, when it comes to the professional game, the National Soccer League still has a long way to go to catch up with the dominance and name recognition of the NFL (American football) (due primarily to the spectacle of the Super Bowl), the MLB (baseball) (partly credited to the dominance of the New York Yankees and the pageantry of the World Series), and the NBA (basketball), due to the makeup of the American professional sports industry during its golden years in the 1970s & 80s.

; Why do rhymes sound good?
: The brain enjoys repetition, especially in music.

; Why do trees die?
: Some common reasons include lack of water, lack of nitrogen in the soil, soil, root and wind damage, and being chopped down.

; Why is there no sound on CNN?
: Some stations broadcast a {{w|second audio program}}, an alternative soundtrack that your TV can be configured to use instead of the primary program. This is intended to be used for broadcasting in an alternate language, or for {{w|Descriptive Video Service}} to make a program accessible to the visually impaired. Many programs that don't actually use SAP will still broadcast an SAP that is identical to the primary program; however, this is not required. If your TV is configured to use SAP and a particular channel isn't broadcasting SAP at that time, there won't be any sound.

; Why aren't Pokémon real?
: Pokémon are fantasized creatures that were designed to produce an interesting battle mechanic in a game. Some of the Pokémons abilities would be impossible on earth as we know it. For instance, Magcargo is [https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Magcargo#Trivia hotter than the surface of the sun].

; Why aren't bullets sharp?
: See {{w|Terminal ballistics}}.

; Why do dreams seem so real?
: Most dreams occur during a stage known as REM (Rapid Eye Movement). During REM, your brain is highly active, and its wave pattern is the same as the wave patterns in a person who is awake. It should be noted that dreams can occur during other stages of sleep but most dreams that are vivid occur during the REM stage.

===Section Three===

; Why do testicles move?
: The scrotum shrinks and expands to account for temperature changes.

; Why are there psychics?
: A {{w|Psychic}} is a supposed user of anomalous powers. Studies have classified psychic powers as pseudoscience. The existence of psychics appears to be as an economic incentive.

; Why are hats so expensive?
: Hats can be expensive depending on the quality of material, size, location, and demand. A probable answer is that hats are simply difficult to make, causing high prices. Another likely cause is the fact that hats are not widely worn in much of the western world and people who do wear them often have far fewer than they have, for example, shirts, meaning that manufacturers cannot get the same economies of scale in production and distribution.

; Why is there caffeine in my shampoo?
: Because the producers want you to believe that caffeine penetrates the hair roots and thereby somehow protects it from negative testosterone impacts and from premature hair loss.

; Why do your boobs hurt?
: Common reasons are a badly fitted bra, breast growth, or {{w|PMS}}. It could also be a hormone imbalance, breastfeeding, large or awkwardly shaped breasts or a serious condition such as {{w|breast cancer}}.

===Section Four===

; Why aren't economists rich?
: Economists study how society organizes resources but, contrary to the popular misconception, don't focus much on the short-term behavior of the stock market (a system that is still poorly understood). In order to become rich, in most cases one has to own a commodity that produces more wealth, such as a large company, or be related to somebody who has done so. In rare cases, a particularly lucky individual could become rich by having an unusually high paying job, such as a famous actor or sports star. Neither of these situations are likely for someone studying the field of economics. Some economists do get very rich as strategists for banks and businesses, but most are just academics and analysts.

; Why do Americans call it soccer?
: {{w|Association football}} is called "soccer" ("association" + "-er") in US English because {{w|American Football}} is the more popular version there. Of note is that the word "soccer" originates on British soil, to distinguish it from Rugby football aka "rugger".

; Why are my ears ringing?
: {{w|Tinnitus}}, or ringing of the ears, can result from stress, foreign objects in the ear, hearing damage, wax build up, or any other number of causes.

; Why are there so many Avengers?
: The number of Avengers has {{w|List of Avengers members|varied greatly}} over the years and decades, each time with its own justification for why they need to work together, but the simplest answer is money. Cross-branding and cross-merchandising is successful to the brand and brings in new readers, plus creates a new franchise to profit from.

; Why are the Avengers fighting the X Men
: {{w|Avengers vs. X-Men}} was a 2012 Marvel crossover event that, like many other recent comic book events, had heroes fight other heroes. In this case, the {{w|Avengers (comics)|Avengers}} and the {{w|X-Men}} fought over the {{w|Phoenix Force (comics)|Phoenix Force}}, a godlike power that often possesses {{w|Jean Grey}} or her descendants (in this case, her alternate universe daughter Hope Summers). The Avengers believed the Phoenix Force is too powerful for humanity to control and wanted to contain it, while the X-Men believed the Phoenix was the messiah for mutants and could fix all of the Earth's problems.

; Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers
: Wolverine ''has'' been an Avenger, in some circumstances. e.g. in the {{w|The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes}} cartoon series, the episode ''New Avengers'' had Wolverine (along with Spider-man, War Machine, The Thing and Luke Cage and Iron Fist) substitute while the 'original' Avengers were unavailable to deal with the current crisis (which of course included the fate of the 'proper' Avengers). However, in general his anti-authority personality makes him a difficult team-member to field, and he has frequently disassociated himself even from the X-Men. But, in Avengers vs. X-Men (see above) Wolverine ''sided'' with The Avengers, and more modern treatments have even included the character in about as much a permanent a membership of the group as Logan is ever likely to have. But if the question is about why Wolverine didn't appear in {{w|The Avengers (2012 film)|''The Avengers''}}, the answer is that ''The Avengers'' is being produced by Marvel/Disney, while Fox still has the rights to the X-Men and all Marvel mutants in general. Unless there is studio agreement, the two properties cannot cross, except through complicated machinations. For example, there were plans to bring Avengers mainstays Quicksilver and The Scarlet Witch to both the ''Avengers'' and ''X-Men'' franchises (plans which successfully came to pass after this comic was written) but only the Fox films had the right to call them the children of Magneto at the time, and Marvel/Disney couldn't even identify them on-screen as "mutants".

===Section Five===

; Why are there ants in my laptop?
: Ants usually come in your laptop when there are little crumbs of food. It is advised to get screen protectors.

; Why is Earth tilted?
: The Earth's axial "tilt", wherein its axis of rotation is not perpendicular it its orbit, is a result of conservation of momentum when the Earth was formed, because not everything orbits in the same way. This is pure happenstance.

; Why is space black?
: What we call black is the absence of light. Space is mostly empty, and although there are many stars, the light from most of these stars hasn't reached us yet. In addition, a lot of light has been stretched by {{w|redshift}} so it's no longer visible to us. See {{w|Olbers' paradox}}

; Why is outer space so cold?
: It's hard to actually define a temperature for space - it's empty, so there's nothing to measure. However, most of space has very little radiation hitting it, so a person won't receive any energy, but will still radiate some away, resulting in a net loss of energy, colloquially "heat." Around the Earth, objects in direct sunlight will actually get very hot. In deep space, there is almost no warming radiation.

; Why are there pyramids on the moon?
: There are no pyramids on the moon. However, the appearance of mountains and some craters on the moon have fooled some into believing there are pyramids on the moon, but these claims are false.

; Why is NASA shutting down?
: NASA isn't shutting down. This question might have something to do with the {{w|United States federal government shutdown of 2013}} or perhaps due to the {{w|Space Shuttle program}} ending in 2011, but that is not the entirety of NASA.

===Section Six===

; Why are there tiny spiders in my house?

; Why do spiders come inside?

; Why are there huge spiders in my house?

; Why are there lots of spiders in my house?

; Why are there spiders in my room?

; Why are there so many spiders in my room?
: During autumn in particular male spiders reaching maturing will set off to find a mate. By chance they may end up in your house. When encountering spiders in large numbers, it is more likely that they are young from the same female spider. Females lay {{w|Spider#Reproduction_and_life_cycle|up to 3,000}} eggs at a time. These questions also play off of Munroe's longstanding fear of spiders, especially the [[8: Red spiders|red spiders]] mentioned in [[:Category:Red Spiders|several early comics]].

; Why do spider bites itch?
: This mostly happens as an immune response to [https://www.mnn.com/health/fitness-well-being/stories/why-do-mosquito-bites-itch histamines] under the skin which are injected through saliva. This entire string of questions is intended as a joke, the implication being that they all came from one person whose house (and later room) was taken over by spiders which then bit them.

; Why is dying so scary?
: Part of human nature is the fear of the unknown, and death is the ultimate unknown because it is not knowable until it's experienced, and there is nobody to report what the result was. This leaves it open to speculation, and many major religions are based on preparing one's soul for death. Also, dying would leave loved ones' families with the responsibility of taking care of their remains and finances. And finally, most people don't want to die, living for as long as possible, possibly because the unknown is too unbearable to cope with. Several causes of death are known to inflict pain to the victim, and fear of pain is an instilled evolutionary safeguard for preventing harm to a sapient creature. Still though several people are not afraid of death and dying, and recognize life is short and to cherish each moment while we can. Death is inevitable, so we should not fear it. In addition, it would be evolutionarily advantageous for our ancestors to have feared and avoided death.

; Why is there no GPS in laptops?
: It is possible for laptops to have a GPS, and some do. But there are [https://security.stackexchange.com/questions/50907/are-there-gps-tracker-for-laptops design difficulties] that have to be overcome including battery draining, room within the crowded device to place a receiver, WiFi can give a location just as well, and the product casing could interfere with its ability to functional normally and receive the signals necessary to operate as intended. Some Dell computers have these, but the privacy one needs to give up accepting the terms and conditions makes it unfavorable.

; Why do knees click?
: Typical of other clicking and cracking of joints, this may be the sound of [https://www.webmd.com/pain-management/knee-pain/features/knee-cracks-pops ligaments tightening]. However, do not rely on a wiki to diagnose a medical condition. Consult a licensed physician.

; Why aren't there E grades?
: E grades [https://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/02/e-f-grading-scale/ actually exist] in some districts, but they are rare. In their long and bizarre history, E was originally used where F is today (E was the lowest grade), but in those systems, students often received E's for an "Excellent" grade, creating much confusion. F was used in place instead and E was eliminated from a standard grading scale.

; Why is isolation bad?
: Isolation is when a person deliberately secludes themselves away from others, often far-removed from society. This can happen in locations as small as a city apartment and as large as the open woods. People evolved as social animals and it is generally held that those who isolate themselves suffer from depression or other forms of psychological imbalance. Of course, society can trigger many of these imbalances causing an individual to isolate themselves. Isolation is often seen as therapeutic so people can spend time with themselves constructively, often finding peace within themselves and through mediation. Monks and hermits generally live in solitude as well. Many people view a decision to be isolated as noble, and others as healthy. While general interaction is largely healthy, in the crowded modern world, isolation is neither good or bad; it depends on the person and what that isolation does to them.

; Why do boys like me?
: Attraction comes in many forms: physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, among others. Some people will lie about what they like about you to get something from you (money, sex, etc.), but most are genuine. It is not possible to assert definitively why one person may like another person, and that is something that needs to be discussed openly and honestly with them and nobody else.

; Why don't boys like me?
: Similar to the answer above about what makes one desirable to another, there are an equal number of factors that make one unappealing. This can include everything from physical appearance to how one treats others. If a person is rude and unfriendly, most people find that not conducive to healthy relationship and avoid the person who is asking. Not being liked by someone you like however does not mean you're wrong or are a bad person and, in most cases, has to do with the person you are asking about.

; Why is there always a Java update?
: [https://www.java.com/en/download/faq/whatis_java.xml Java] is a software that runs on most computers and mobile devices that is crucial to its security and stability. The reason it always updates is because it needs to stay current with the ever-upgrading fleet of browsers, operating systems and software that supports Java. Additionally, Java updates itself so each version can run optimally. Software coding and debugging is a never-ending process towards perfectly stable releases.

; Why are there red dots on my thighs?
: This might be {{w|Petechia}}, which are broken blood vessels, however, do not rely on a wiki to diagnose medical conditions. Consult a licensed physician.

; Why is lying good?
: Lying and other forms of dishonesty is typically seen as bad because it lowers one's credibility and makes them less likely to be trusted in the future. It is almost always advantageous to tell the truth, as lies have a way of escalating as you need to keep expanding on the lie to cover your tracks. There are instances however where lying may be used in more noble circumstances. For example, if a friend asks your opinion on something they have made (such as a poem or painting) that you do not like, it is okay to tell them you like it because protecting their feelings and your relationship is more important than how you feel. Often military personnel are trained to keep national security secrets at all costs and will lie about what they know to save themselves and the country.

===Section Seven===

; Why are there slaves in the bible?
: Slavery was viewed differently in the early years of human civilization before the contemporary moral and ethical conversations began centuries later. The Jewish legal system as presented in the bible {{w|The Bible and slavery|justified slavery}} for a number of reasons, notably to pay off some sort of debt. Slaves were seen as property and their work provided value to the slave owner, but such a relationship was legally required to be temporary, and slaves had some basic human rights. Similarly, slave owners rationalized their ownership through scripture, pointing out that it was in the Bible and therefore okay with God — without wishing to go off on a tangent, if you have to rationalize your system of slavery then it's probably illegal under historic Jewish law.

; Why do twins have different fingerprints?
: Fingerprints are not only from the DNA, but from the conditions in the womb which differ from child to child.

; Why are Americans afraid of dragons?
: This question was the title of a [https://blogs.sfu.ca/courses/spring2012/engl387/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Why-are-Americans-Afraid-of-Dragons.docx 1974 essay] by Ursula K. LeGeuin in which she makes a {{w|Semiotics|semiotic}} analysis of dragon mythology. She argues that our belief in dragons (and those outside of America as well) stems from childhood, much like other ferocious fictional creatures such as goblins and hobbits, but many hold onto these fears as a way of avoiding reality. In her closing argument, she writes, "They know that its truth challenges, even threatens, all that is false, all that is phony, unnecessary, and trivial in the life they have let themselves be forced into living. They are afraid of dragons, because they are afraid of freedom."

; Why is HTTPS crossed out in red?

; Why is there a line through HTTPS?
: The site accessed has an invalid SSL certificate. See [[2634: Red Line Through HTTPS]].

; Why is there a red line through HTTPS on Facebook?
: The website has an invalid SSL certificate. This may be the result of a scam, a misdirection, a typo, or some kind of configuration error in the client or the remote server.

; Why is HTTPS important?
: For security reasons, as a site with HTTPS has encrypted traffic.

===Section Eight===

; Why are there swarms of gnats?
: The reason gnats (and other creatures) tend to swarm together is likely a safety-in-numbers protection, and as a big gathering to find a mate.

; Why is there phlegm?
: {{w|Phlegm#Phlegm|Phlegm}} is a thick, viscous fluid produced by the mucus membranes as a way to clear the airway and aids in the release of bacteria, disease and debris in those passages.

; Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN
: From a Minnesota Paper, [https://www.startribune.com/local/138902104.html the Star Tribune], "Laws prevent the city from poisoning the crows". "Duffy [ {{w|Steve Duffy}}, a co-owner of U.S. Bird Abatement Services, which has contracted with Rochester to get rid of the crows] isn't sure why Rochester has such a bad crow problem; probably a confluence of many bird-friendly conditions that has also made it a magnet for {{w|geese}}. He's seen worse cases but called Rochester's situation 'hideous.'" And best of all, "The city has twice this winter hired experts to chase them off. They tried {{w|lasers}} and bullhorns — hey, get out of here, you crows — and even employed raptors to pick them off, one by one. That worked, for awhile." Unfortunately, they mean a {{w|bird of prey}}, not a {{w|velociraptor}}.

; Why is Psychic weak to Bug
: In Pokémon, Pokémon of the Psychic type like Alakazam are weak to three types of attacks: Ghost, Dark, and Bug. The general theory is that Psychic Pokémon, relying heavily on their thoughts for attacks, are weak to fears, which ghosts, darkness, and bugs can be classified as.

; Why do children get cancer?
: {{w|Cancer}} is an aggressive and often fatal disease that has the potential to affect all humans as well as other organisms. There are multiple types of cancer, each with their own epidemiology, but children are not immune to succumbing to the horrific effects of the disease. Children are subject to the same illnesses adults have, regardless of age, or their innocence. There is no divine or supernatural explanation for this. Simply put, life is a battle for all humans regardless of how small they are.

; Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus?
: {{w|Poseidon}} was the patron deity of the city of {{w|Troy}}, which after a 10-year siege by the Greeks fell due to {{w|Odysseus}}' strategem of the {{w|Trojan_Horse|Trojan horse}}. As the Greeks were returning home after the Trojan War, Oddyseus' ship accidentally landed on the island home of the cyclops Polyphemus, who imprisoned the crew and ate many of them. In order to escape, Odysseus blinded the cyclops. Poseidon, Polyphemus' father, was extremely angered by his son being blinded, so he cursed Odysseus' ship to prevent him from reaching his home in {{W|Ithaca}}. The adventures which Odysseus encountered during his quest for reaching Ithaca are the main theme of {{w|Homer|Homer's}} {{w|Odyssey}} The Odyssey also says that before sailing, the crew forgot to offer a sacrifice as was ordained.

; Why is there ice in space?
: Space is {{w|Outer_space#Environment|Cold}}. The background radiation, which is used to measure the temperature of space's vacuum, is estimated at about 3K (−270 °C; −454 °F). Water freezes at 273.15 K (0 °C; 32 °F). Because the temperature in space is less than the freezing point of water, liquids freeze in space, turning into ice.

===Section Nine===

; Why is there an owl in my back yard?

; Why is there an owl outside my window?
: Owls can be seen all over the world and live in a wide variety of habitats. They are mainly nocturnal, and spend a large portion of the night hunting. The owl in your back yard and your window is likely looking for food.

; Why is there an owl on the dollar bill?
: On the front of a dollar bill, near the upper right '1' is a tiny section of the design which can be seen to represent an owl. Conspiracy theorists will note that owls were symbolically linked to the Masons, while others will instead see a spider.

; Why do owls attack people?
: While owls and human often live in close proximity without problems, as with other species, owls may attack if they feel threatened. When people irritate or otherwise make owls feel unsafe, they retaliate with violence to protect themselves. This may be related to the questions about an owl in one's back yard and I[outside their window, the implication being that an owl entered someone's house and attacked them.

; Why are AK47s so expensive?
: The market value of an AK47 varies depending on where you live. With strict gun control laws, obtaining an AK47 in the UK is likely to be more expensive due to the risks involved for those supplying the weapon. In former Soviet republics and the Middle East, AK47s are more plentiful, and hence the price is likely to be lower.

; Why are there helicopters circling my house?
: People living in high-crime areas will often hear helicopters circling, especially at night, when police use the helicopter's searchlight to locate and track suspects, or to light a crime scene. Those Googling this question might be wondering if a dangerous fugitive is nearby, or what else may be going on. Potentially, the questioner may be hallucinating the helicopters or imagining themselves as the target due to {{w|paranoid schizophrenia}}, in which either a neurochemical imbalance or distorted thought patterns causes {{w|delusions of persecution}}. Alternately, this question may be a joke because it is so incongruous to the others in this section. The joke is that people would be Googling about owls attacking people and assault rifle prices, which could, ostensibly alert authorities to come to your house to arrest you.

===Section Ten===

; Why are there gods?
: Gods and goddesses are part of mythology and folklore that are used to give spiritual guidance as well as explanations for phenomena that are yet unexplained by natural processes.

; Why are there two Spocks?
: This is probably a reference to the {{w|Star_Trek_(film)|2009 Star Trek movie}} in which the franchise was given a {{w|Reboot_(fiction)|continuity reboot}}. The modified setting is explained in-universe by time travel, with both the villain Nero and the original-timeline Spock being brought back from the 24th century to the 23rd, creating a timeline in which both older Spock (played by Leonard Nimoy) and the younger Spock (played by Zachary Quinto) coexist. Another possibility is that the question refers to the episode {{w|Mirror,_Mirror_(Star_Trek:_The_Original_Series)|"Mirror, Mirror"}}, which mostly takes place in an alternate universe populated by ruthless versions of most of the characters (including Spock).

; Why is Mt Vesuvius there?
: The simple answer is that volcanoes are created by interactions where the Earth's tectonic plates meet. These conditions only exist in a few places on Earth. The question could also be asking, "why is Mt Vesuvius near such a heavily populated area?" Humans have lived near Vesuvius throughout history, due to its pleasant climate, rich soil, and proximity to other major cities. The Italian government [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2003/jun/05/italy.sophiearie offers generous cash incentives] to move people away from the danger zone, but finds few takers.This question could also be a reference to mountaineer {{w|George Mallory}}'s famous answer as to why he wanted to climb Mount Everest: "Because it's there."

; Why do they say T minus?
: Time before the launch of a spacecraft is denoted as "T-minus" because the launch has not happened yet. Any time after the launch is typcally stated with a "plus", for example "T-plus 3 minutes, 17 seconds", so time before the launch is counted downwards as "minus" time. The "T" stands for "Time", as in the practical zero time of launch, although the eventual reaching of zero (related to the intended "L" time of launching) is often still subject to change ''before'' the launch, for both {{w|Built-in hold|planned and unplanned holds}} of arbitrary length.

; Why are there obelisks?
: The {{w|Obelisk}} article has more information.

; Why are wrestlers always wet?
: Professional wrestling is strenuous activity, whether it's fake or not. Strenuous activity results in sweat, giving the bodyan appearance of being wet. Greco-Roman wrestling and Turkish Oil Wrestling both involve oiling the body, giving a similar appearance.

; Why are oceans becoming more acidic?
: Due to the higher amount of carbon dioxide on the atmosphere, which dissolves in the oceans turning into carbonic acid - CO2+H2O=H2CO3 (see {{w|Ocean acidification}})

; Why is Arwen dying?
: {{w|Elf (Middle-Earth)#Death|Elves}} in ''The Lord of the Rings'' can die from grief.

; Why aren't my quail laying eggs?
: Not enough sunlight/calcium, or they are egg bound (very serious)?

; Why aren't my quail eggs hatching?
: Problems in incubation, or the eggs may not be fertilized.

; Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America?
: Further information: {{w|United States military deployments}}This is a very interesting question, albeit one likely based on a regional misunderstanding. Presumably, this question is asked by Americans who assume that the existence of {{w|Category:Military facilities of the United States by country|U.S. military bases abroad}} is a general trend among countries, as opposed to being the rarity that it is. In fact, {{w|List of countries with overseas military bases|only a handful of other countries}} have military bases outside of their borders, and the three—{{w|France}}, the {{w|United Kingdom}}, and {{w|Russia}}—that have more than one or two are all countries that, like the United States, {{w|Allies of World War II|were on the winning side of World War II}}, have {{w|List of countries by military expenditures|massive military expenditures}}, and have {{w|United Nations Security Council veto power|UN Security Council vetoes}}. In other words, only the most militarily elite countries have bases overseas. The U.S. is unique, however, in that it has far more overseas bases than any other country (and, pretty much, far more of anything else than any other country, when it comes to the military), and in that {{w|List of United States military bases|it has bases in several other highly-industrialized nations}}, including {{w|List of United States Army installations in South Korea|South Korea}} and the United Kingdom, and, most notably, the World War II {{w|Axis powers}}: {{w|List of United States Army installations in Germany|Germany}}, {{w|United States s Japan|Japan}}, and {{w|List of United States Army installations in Italy|Italy}}. France, Russia, and the U.K.'s bases, on the other hand, are almost all within areas that they previously controlled.These bases can be controversial in some countries, while in others they are a major source of economic and political stability. The U.S. traditionally justifies their presence as a necessary and crucial element in its efforts to promote peace domestically and worldwide. Despite their major role in {{w|U.S. foreign policy}}, and in the general political structure of the globe, the American public often largely ignores them, and they rarely become a major political issue (apart from an occasional mention by {{w|Libertarian Party (United States)|Libertarian presidential candidates}}).So, essentially, the absence of foreign military bases within the U.S. is primarily because there aren't really any other countries in a position to place bases there. Ironically, although no battles in the traditional sense have been fought within the U.S. since the {{w|U.S. Civil War}} and the U.S. mainland has seen {{w|Mainland invasion of the United States|almost no military action}}, foreign air bases might have been useful on September 11, 2001. (The {{w|attack on Pearl Harbor}} in 1941 was 18 years before Hawaii became a U.S. state, but Hawaii was still a fundamental part of the United States as it was an incorporated territory.)There are, however, foreign troops stationed at some continental US military bases. For example, RAF (British Royal Air ) 39 Sqn and 361 Sqn at Creech Air Base in Nevada flying Reaper and Predator drones. But these are not foreign military bases, they are just guests.

===Section Eleven===

; Why are my boobs itchy?
: It could be anything from dry skin to a rare life-threatening disease. Could also be related to pregnancy, PMS, or puberty. [https://www.just-health.net/Itchy-Breast.html Here's a thorough list] of possible causes and remedies.

; Why are cigarettes legal?
: Despite the obvious detrimental effects nicotine has on health, it is, like caffeine and alcohol, more profitable to regulate than to ban, and is also subject to intense lobbying by tobacco companies to keep it legal. Substances like cocaine and other drugs are mainly illegal because of government attitudes disapproving of recreational drug use coupled with there being no powerful preexisting corporate lobby with a stake in making or keeping these drugs legal, and also, with some drugs (in the US, at least), due to more than a bit of racism (against Mexicans with regard to marijuana, or against Chinese for opium). Nicotine, however, which is the key ingredient in tobacco, is regulated and heavily taxed, bringing income for the government. This is one of the major arguments for legalizing other, currently-illegal drugs, at least the "softer" ones like marijuana, as, if they're legalized, they can be taxed and bring the government more money, and the government can provide an incentive for producers and sellers to keep their product safe and high-quality (by punishing those who mislabel their drugs or cut them with dangerous substances, while letting producers and sellers of safe, high-quality drugs operate without fear of arrest or prosecution).

; Why are there ducks in my pool?
: Most likely, they're looking for a place to mate. Which means you'll soon have baby ducks in your pool. Most migratory birds are protected by wildlife laws, so you want to prevent them from moving into your pool in the first place. The [https://www.dfwwildlife.org/duck.html DFW Wildlife Coalition] has some tips.

; Why is Jesus white?
: This is an ethnocentric viewpoint that varies throughout cultures. In African cultures he is portrayed as black. In short, whatever culture he is introduced to, those inhabitants will have him fit their own image.

; Why is there liquid in my ear?
: [https://www.healthline.com/symptom/discharge-from-ear It's called otorrhea], and can be caused by infection, trauma, or changes in pressure. A common cause is [https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/swimmers-ear/basics/definition/con-20014723 Swimmer's ear], an infection of the outer ear canal. More seriously, it could be Cerebrospinal fluid. This can end up in your ears due to a puncture in the skull's membrane, often due to a collision/concussion. This is a very serious condition. Again, do not take (too much) medical advice from wiki.

; Why do Q tips feel good?
: The inner ear contains {{w|erectile tissue}} (as does your inner nose which is why sneezing feels good) so you are massaging tissue which gets aroused upon stimulation.

; Why do good people die?
: Everybody dies, no matter how good or bad they were. But sometimes if people are really bad, they are made to die sooner. (But loved ones and ones who were known to make memorable or valuable contributions are mourned and revered more than a person who has left much pain to others as their legacy; we remember the good ones and so it hurts more.)

; Why are ultrasounds important?
: Ultrasound scans provide a great deal of information about a fetus, thus increasing the chances of a healthy birth. They have many other medical uses.

; Why are ultrasound machines expensive?
: As hospital equipment goes, ultrasound machines are actually a bargain. [https://www.costowl.com/healthcare/healthcare-ultrasound-machine-costs.html A new ultrasound machine] costs about $20,000-$75,000, depending on features. Comparable devices are much more expensive: The [https://info.blockimaging.com/bid/84432/CT-Scanner-Price-Guide CT scanner] runs $90,000-$250,000, while the [https://www.ehow.com/about_4731161_much-do-mri-machines-cost.html MRI machine] easily goes over a million.

; Why is stealing wrong?
: Stealing is theft, and it is illegal. Taking something that is not yours without permission or payment hurts the livelihood of other individuals as well as damages their trust in others.

==Transcript==
: [This strip is a rectangular word cloud, titled 'Questions found in Google autocomplete'. Embedded in the cloud are five single panels, with illustrated questions. These are described at the end. Questions are given in roughly columnar order. None of the questions have question marks.]

: Questions found in Google Autocomplete

: Why do whales jump
: Why are witches green
: Why are there mirrors above beds
: Why do I say uh
: Why is sea salt better
: Why are there trees in the middle of fields
: Why is there not a Pokemon MMO
: Why is there laughing in TV shows
: Why are there doors on the freeway
: Why are there so many svchost.exe running
: Why aren't there any countries in antarctica
: Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft
: Why is there kicking in my stomach
: Why are there two slashes after HTTP
: Why are there celebrities
: Why do snakes exist
: Why do oysters have pearls
: Why are ducks called ducks
: Why do they call it the clap
: Why are Kyle and Cartman friends
: Why is there an arraow on Aang's head
: Why are text messages blue
: Why are there mustaches on clothes
: Why are there mustaches on cars
: Why are there mustaches everywhere
: Why are there so many birds in Ohio
: Why is there so much rain in Ohio
: Why is Ohio weather so weird
: Why are there male and female bikes
: Why are there bridesmaids
: Why do dying people reach up
: Why aren't there varicose arteries
: Why are old Klingons different
: Why is programming so hard
: Why is there a 0 ohm resistor
: Why do Americans hate soccer
: Why do rhymes sound good
: Why do trees die
: Why is there no sound on CNN
: Why aren't Pokemon real
: Why aren't bullets sharp
: Why do dreams seem so real
: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts
: Why do iguanas die
: Why do testicles move
: Why are there psychics
: Why are hats so expensive
: Why is there caffeine in my shampoo
: Why do your boobs hurt
: Why aren't economists rich
: Why do Americans call it soccer
: Why are my ears ringing
: Why are there so many Avengers
: Why are the Avengers fighting the X men
: Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers
: Why are there ants in my laptop
: Why is Earth tilted
: Why is space black
: Why is outer space so cold
: Why are there pyramids on the moon
: Why is NASA shutting down
: Why is there Hell if God forgives
: Why are there tiny spiders in my house
: Why do spiders come inside
: Why are there huge spiders in my house
: Why are there lots of spiders in my house
: Why are there spiders in my room
: Why are there so many spiders in my room
: Why do spider bites itch
: Why is dying so scary
: Why is there no GPS in laptops
: Why do knees click
: Why aren't there E grades
: Why is isolation bad
: Why do boys like me
: Why don't boys like me
: Why is there always a Java update
: Why are there red dots on my thighs
: Why is lying good
: Why is GPS free
: Why are trees tall
: Why are there slaves in the Bible
: Why do twins have different fingerprints
: Why are Americans afraid of dragons
: Why is there lava
: Why are there swarms of gnats
: Why is there phlegm
: Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN
: Why is psychic weak to bug
: Why do children get cancer
: Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus
: Why is there ice in space
: Why are there female Mr Mimes
: Why is there an owl in my backyard
: Why is there an owl outside my window
: Why is there an owl on the dollar bill
: Why do owls attack people
: Why are AK47s so expensive
: Why are there helicopters circling my house
: Why are there gods
: Why are there two Spocks
: Why is Mt Vesuvius there
: Why do they say T minus
: Why are there obelisks
: Why are wrestlers always wet
: Why are oceans becoming more acidic
: Why is Arwen dying
: Why aren't my quail laying eggs
: Why aren't my quail eggs hatching
: Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America
: Why is life so boring
: Why are my boobs itchy
: Why are cigarettes legal
: Why are there ducks in my pool
: Why is Jesus white
: Why is there liquid in my ear
: Why do Q tips feel good
: Why do good people die
: Why are ultrasounds important
: Why are ultrasound machines expensive
: Why is stealing wrong
: Why is YKK on all zippers
: Why is HTTPS crossed out in red
: Why is there a line through HTTPS
: Why is there a red line through HTTPS on Facebook
: Why is HTTPS important
: Why are there weeks
: Why do I feel dizzy
: Why are dogs afraid of fireworks
: Why is there no king in England

: [We see Cueball from the torso up, with arms outstretched.]
: Cueball: Why aren't my arms growing

: [Megan stands with a grey ghost on either side of her.]
: Megan: Why are there ghosts

: [Beret Guy stands, looking at a squirrel.]
: Beret Guy: Why are there squirrels

: [Cueball stands.]
: Cueball: Why is sex so important.

: [We see Ponytail from the torso up.]
: Ponytail: Why aren't there guns in Harry Potter

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Pokémon]]
[[Category:Google Search]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]
[[Category:Weather]]
[[Category:Harry Potter]]
[[Category:Religion]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Volcanoes]]
[[Category:Minecraft]]
[[Category:Ants]]
[[Category:Comics featuring children]]
[[Category:Disney]]
[[Category:Ghosts]]

1256: Questions

2026-03-10T15:22:37Z

Amateurautist: /* Section Six */ added a sentence explaining that the spiders are a joke

{{distinguish|1448: Question|common=Questions}}
{{comic
| number = 1256
| date = August 26, 2013
| title = Questions
| image = questions.png
| titletext = To whoever typed 'why is arwen dying': GOOD. FUCKING. QUESTION.
}}
A larger version of the picture can be found [https://xkcd.com/1256/large here].

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|
;Does not explain the juxtaposition jokes
This article is a little overly literal and fails to explain the actual recurring joke of the comic, which is the juxtaposition of related searches in specific orders for a humorous implication. For example, the [[#Section Six|series of spider-related searches]] capped with, "Why are spider bites itchy?", implying that the person who was distressed about all the spiders has been bitten. Simply including the answers to the questions doesn't actually explain the source of humor.}}
{{w|Google}} has a feature known as [https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/106230?hl=en autocomplete] that guesses at search queries before they are fully typed out. These guesses are generally made based on popular searches by other people. From time to time, a particularly strange or hilarious one may be found, as is evidenced in this comic.

All the questions in the comic are "why" questions, so many of them are predicated on false assumptions, such as "Why are there pyramids on the Moon". Originally, all these questions and many more (33,171 in total) could be found at [http://xkcd.com/why.txt xkcd.com/why.txt] (now defunct, [https://web.archive.org/web/20170510061043/https://xkcd.com/why.txt archived version]).

There are many reasons Randall may have chosen to highlight so many disparate questions without answers. Some questions have simple answers, some are difficult, some have many different potential answers, but all of them show humans seeking knowledge. There are no stupid questions.

The sections below explain each question by splitting the comic into arbitrary blocks. As a general rule, section numbers work top to bottom, then right to left. A Reddit user has also [https://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/1l3na7/questions/cbvigrd answered all the questions].

===Title text===
The title text is a reference to the Peter Jackson films of {{w|The Lord of the Rings (film series)|''The Lord of the Rings'' trilogy}}, where Arwen becomes sickly for unspecified reasons as the plot advances, apparently giving Aragorn a more personal reason to fight. The only explanation given is by Elrond, who says "As Sauron's power grows, her [Arwen's] strength wanes." This subplot is entirely absent from the {{w|The Lord of the Rings|original novels}}.

From [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0167260/faq#.2.1.21 IMDB]: <blockquote>
Arwen, like her father (and brothers) is considered to be a Half-Elf, the result of a union between an Elf and a mortal human. The Half-Elven of Middle-earth get a choice, to remain immortal and return to the West (Valinor) or to become mortal and to die as humans do. Elrond chose to remain an Elf. Arwen (like her uncle Elros) chooses to become mortal in order to wed and remain with Aragorn. Elrond senses this; this is what he means when he says that Arwen is dying. It is the same as in The Last Unicorn, when the unicorn is given the form of a human woman and can feel that she is no longer immortal ("I can feel this body dying all around me"). According to Tolkien, though, after Aragorn dies in the year 120 (Fourth Age), Arwen returns to Lórien, where she dies by choice the following winter. </blockquote>

===Illustrated panels===

; Why aren't my arms growing?
: Arms stop growing because longer arms would not be a very useful way to spend resources. Human DNA has programmed the body to gradually ossify (turn to bone) the growing arms and legs, closing the {{w|epiphyseal plate}} (the flat plate at the end of each long bone), at which point they stop growing. Alternately, the muscles of the arm, which may have been the intended subject of the question, may fail to grow if not exercised with appropriate resistance, repetition or frequency; if nutrition is insufficient; if insufficient recovery time is given; or if sufficient levels of certain hormones like growth hormone or testosterone are not present.

; Why are there ghosts?
: There is no hard evidence of ghosts. The reason you are seeing ghosts could be {{w|pareidolia}} or some {{w|cognitive bias}}.

; Why are there squirrels?
: Squirrels are the product of a long sequence of evolution, like any other animal. They persist because they effectively reproduce and compete for resources within their niche, but they are also the product of many circumstantial events that has led to them being the way they are.

; Why is sex so important?
: Sex is important biologically because it is the primary method of reproduction in many different species. It is important culturally because it causes hard-to-control urges that affect behaviour, plays an important role in human relationships, and serves as a key form of [https://www.dissentmagazine.org/article/seizing-means-reproduction-laura-briggs-reproductive-politics-review/ reproductive labor]. However, it can be of varying importance to different people (see [https://www.asexuality.org/home/?q=overview.html asexuality]).

; Why aren't there guns in Harry Potter?
: In the ''{{w|Harry Potter}}'' universe, [https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Gun guns ''do'' exist] and are mentioned at the beginning of ''{{w|Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban}}'', when the news gives a warning that Sirius Black has one. Muggle technology (human inventions) are often looked down on by wizards - the majority of half-blooded wizards won't touch one, let alone a wizard extremist like {{w|Voldemort}}. Not only does any Muggle device more complex than a wristwatch interfere with magical artifacts, but wands are usually more versatile than most guns; a revolver can't shoot lightning, summon items, or teleport its user. Finally, while Harry himself may or may not consider using firearms due to his Muggle upbringing, ''Harry Potter'' is set in the United Kingdom (which has stricter gun laws than, say, the United States).

===Vertical questions===

; Why is there hell if God forgives?
: There is not a single answer to this question. The answer varies based on the religion and that religion's sect mixed with personal interpretations of that religions scripture and how a person decides to follow it. However, the idea of what Hell will be like also varies. There is no one answer to this question, but the easiest explanation is that the individual did not pray hard enough, correctly, was not part of the right religion, and their forgiveness was contingent on something that the person either did not do or know to do (or say or think).

; Why do iguanas die?
: All living things die,{{cn}} but iguanas may suffer from [https://www.anapsid.org/iguana/kidneyfailure.html kidney failure].

; Why is GPS free?
: GPS was originally developed by the U.S. military for its own use, not for commercial purposes. However, the government realized that free GPS would have a significant bonus for the economy and would prevent disasters like the {{w|Korean Air Lines Flight 007}} where a plane was shot down after accidentally entering Soviet airspace, and in 1983 President Reagan declared that the US would make GPS available to all. At one point, "{{w|selective availability}}" was used to degrade performance for civilian users, but since 2000 this has also been switched off.

; Why are trees tall?
: Tall is a relative term, and Redwoods are famous for their height - among the tallest in the world. The reason for this is, in part [https://www.nps.gov/redw/faqs.htm climate, fog, rain, good soil, few predators, among others].

; Why are there female Mr. Mimes?
: {{w|Mr. Mime}} is a Pokémon introduced in the first generation of the games, and despite its name, it can be either of a male or female gender. As the Pokémon was introduced before the concept of [https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Gender gender in Pokémon games], it is likely that the people in charge of translating its Japanese name (Barrierd) did not take this into account during the process.

; Why is there lava?
: {{w|Lava}} is magma (molten rock) which is at the Earth's surface. Magma in the Earth comes from the melting of rock due to rising heat from deeper within the planet. {{w|Earth's internal heat budget|This heat}} is about half radiogenic and half primordial (left over from the formation and differentiation of the Earth). Most of the crust and mantle of the Earth is solid rock, but in places (usually controlled by plate tectonics, but {{w|Hawaii hotspot|not always}}) where the heat is high enough the minerals with lowest melting point start to melt and then migrate upwards towards the surface. This melt collects in {{w|Magma chamber|magma chambers}}, in which the magma may start to cool and crystallize. Sometimes it will crystallize completely, becoming an underground solid body called a pluton. Other times melt will keep migrating upwards until it reaches the surface and erupts as lava, forming a {{w|volcano}} or undersea vent.

; Why is YKK on all zippers?
: {{w|YKK}} Group is the name of a large group of Japanese manufacturing companies, which among other things manufacture a lot of zippers. YKK zippers are also considered to be some of the best available, so a clothing maker including a YKK zipper would likely leave the YKK name on, instead of getting no branding or rebranding them.

; Why is life so boring?
: It is up to an individual to find meaning and interest in life. Monotony, predictability, and lack of physical and intellectual stimulation would lead to a feeling of boredom.

; Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?
: Ghosts are a supernatural phenomenon that have not been empirically proven to exist. Those who believe in ghosts implicitly believe in a soul (of which a ghost is a materialization of), and it is a commonly held belief by religious institutions and ghost-hunters that animals do not have souls and thus dinosaurs would not have any either.

; Why is there no king in England?
: At the time of publication, {{w|Elizabeth II}} was the Queen of England, and continued to be so for another decade, ending up having been so for over 70 years.

:In colloquial usage, any married couple reigning over a monarchy is known as the king and queen. For the past several hundred years, there has almost always been a queen in England, the sole exceptions being when the king has not had a wife. (Also, "England" is commonly used as the equivalent to "The United Kingdom", often incorrectly.) However, there is a distinction between being the Queen of England (that is to say, {{w|List of British monarchs|a monarch}} in her own right) and any {{w|queen consort|Queen ''Consort''}} of England (the woman married to, or who later marries, the man who has become its King).

:Monarchies tend to strongly select for Kings (with or without consorts). At times of strife, very few {{w|Empress Matilda|'queen's}} enter the fray. Peaceful {{w|succession to the British throne}} has been for a long governed in England by {{w|male-preference cognatic primogeniture}} which disproportionately favours male descendants. And British laws and customs have been generally built around the presumption that the monarch would be a man, and that man would be married to a woman, [[223: Valentine's Day|comic 223]] be damned. The consort (wife) to the King may be popularly styled as "Queen <her name>" but would not normally be a functional title. If she survives her husband, {{w|Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother|her continued use of the honorific}} does not exclude the successive monarch having (or being) a new queen.

:Despite everything, throughout the {{w|Acts of Union 1707|current continuity of the modern British throne}} two women have begun to reign as Queen in their own right. It just so happens that these two have been two of the longest-reigning monarchs in world history, {{w|Queen Victoria}} and Queen Elizabeth II herself. Both of these have been influential and famed not just in 'England' but around the world, and this fact may add to people noting the rare but conspicuous lack of an 'English' king historically (despite five times as many actual Kings). This is especially true within the living memory of those who asked the questions in the comic, who may never have lived through the time prior to Elizabeth II.

:The title of "{{w|king consort}}" exists but has not been used. Instead Victoria and Elizabeth's respective consorts, {{w|Albert, Prince Consort|Albert}} and {{w|Prince Philip|Philip}}, were given alternate titles — Albert as {{w|Prince Consort}} and Philip as "{{w|British prince|Prince of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland}}" (both commonly referred to as "Prince ..."). These titles being by gift of their own queen and spouse, though Albert was already formally a prince of {{w|Saxe-Coburg and Gotha}} whilst Philip had previously been prince of {{w|Danish royal family|Denmark}} and {{w|Greek royal family|Greece}} but had renounced both titles before marrying then-Princess Elizabeth. Earlier in history, various {{w|Mary II of England|co-ruling queens}}, and {{w|Elizabeth I|unmarried queens}} had also avoided any need for the "consort" title.

:Much more recently, the system of male-preference {{w|Succession to the Crown Act 2013|was changed}} to ''absolute'' primogeniture, where (for all those born after 2011) males are no longer favoured over females, in the otherwise strict chronology of descent. Should the monarchy continue onwards without further social change, there are now likely to be far more actual Queens in the future (with or without consorts); however, already the first three members of Elizabeth II's senior line of descent are male: Prince Charles, as was, Elizabeth's eldest son; Prince William, Charles's eldest son; and Prince George, William's eldest child (being born in 2013).

:It would still likely take a while (or unpredictable circumstances) before England has its next Queen in her own right and the question becomes relevent again. Since Elizabeth's death in September 2022, {{w|Charles III}} has indeed automatically become the King of England, and his current wife {{w|Camilla, Queen consort of the United Kingdom|Camilla}} is Queen Consort (but not formally the Queen of England). No further children are expected, nor would any normally change the immediate line of succession. The second child of William, {{w|Princess Charlotte of Cornwall and Cambridge|Princess Charlotte}} (born 2015), now rises accordingly to be third in line from Charles — behind William and her elder brother, at least until such time as George might himself eventually have an heir of his own, male or female.

; Why do I feel dizzy?
: Balance is achieved from fluids in the inner ear, but {{w|Dizziness#Epidemiology|dizziness}} can have nearly a dozen causes.

; Why are dogs afraid of fireworks?
: Loud noises can trigger their flight or fight responses when they are [https://www.cesarsway.com/dogbehavior/hyperdog/How-to-Keep-Your-Dog-Safe-and-Calm-During-Fireworks nervous].

; Why are there weeks?
: Weeks were originally important for religious reasons, primarily the requirement to observe a sabbath (day of rest) every seventh day. Today it is used to create a common schedule that doesn't change due to month length, much like the months divide a year to be able to schedule things like dentist appointments. Similarly, hours and minutes divide a day making it possible to create a schedule.

===Section One===
; Why do whales jump?
: Partly to get air, partly because it's an effective way to catch prey near the surface, and partly because they just seem to find it fun - it's like going into outer space!{{Actual citation needed}}

; Why are witches green?
: See {{w|The Wizard of Oz (1939 film)|The Wizard of Oz}}. The Wicked Witch' green skin looked really good in the film's {{w|Technicolor}}.

; Why are there mirrors above beds?
: Often, these are used by couples to view themselves during sex.

; Why do I say Uh?
: See ''[https://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/05/06/the_odd_body_language_fillers/ Why do we say 'um', 'er', or 'ah' when we hesitate in speaking?]''.

; Why is sea salt better?
: The question likely refers to the difference between common {{w|Fortified table salt}} and usually more expensive sea salt. While a major part of both of these is sodium chloride (NaCl) the idea behind the claim is the different composition mostly in regard to trace elements of sea salt compared to "normal" salt. Table salt's composition is often influenced by a country's health department and thus addition of trace elements is regulated. While these regulations are based on scientific studies there remain to be debates concerning the additions, such as iodine.

; Why are there trees in the middle of fields?
: Many images of fields contain singular trees in the middle of them. While there exist such trees it is likely an artistic choice to give a more pleasing or aesthetically satisfying image compared to just a field. In modern agriculture those would in fact be quite troublesome since they are a hindrance to large machines used and a new tree would be unlikely to grow in a constantly worked field, although they can be useful in fields for grazing animals, since they provide shade. Before mechanized agriculture, such trees would also be planted to give the workers a place to rest in the shade without having to go all the way back from a large field.

; Why is there not a Pokémon MMO?
: {{w|Pokémon}} is a popular franchise, spanning game consoles, anime series, a trading card game, and many other things. Among fans, it is a frequent topic of discussion why a Pokémon {{w|massively multiplayer online game}} has not been officially announced by the series' developers {{w|Game Freak}}, as they often [https://www.dorkly.com/comic/52546/be-careful-what-you-wish-for predict] that such a game would be extremely popular and bring in massive revenue for the company. However, if Game Freak were to develop a Pokémon MMO the MMOs would be strong competition against the console games and therefore reducing the Pokémon demographic significantly. The mobile app {{w|Pokémon Go}} has since partly filled the MMO niche, with multiplayer interactivity through item drops and fighting at gyms.

; Why is there laughing in TV shows?
: Sitcoms were once filmed with an audience, so the actors could respond to their reactions. That's the historical reason there were laughs in TV shows. The tradition continues, with the difference that now the laughter mostly comes from recorded tapes. See {{w|Laugh track}}.

; Why are there doors on the freeway?
: Highway/freeway {{w|noise barrier|noise barriers}} sometimes have doors in them to allow workers access to both sides of the barrier. They also serve as emergency exits in case of large traffic collisions (which can cause fire and smoke), for people to leave on foot.

; Why are there so many svchost.exe running?
: See {{w|svchost.exe}}.

; Why aren't there any countries in Antarctica?
: {{w|Antarctica}} is the southernmost continent and is by large covered in ice and in general pretty cold. While it is a regular target of tourists and researchers it also lacks native human inhabitants. At the moment, the territorial claims concerning Antarctica are mostly handled via the {{w|Antarctic Treaty System}}. In short there are a few countries who claim certain parts of the continent as their own in theory but so far it is considered neutral territory and most maps don't concern themselves with displaying the (in some regards disputed) territorial claims because they do not matter at this point in time. If there are ever any worthwhile resources discovered, this might change.

; Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft?
: To add atmosphere and to give players hints when there is a dark cave nearby. See [https://minecraft.wiki/w/Ambience Ambience Minecraft Wiki].

; Why is there kicking in my stomach?
: See ''[https://www.webmd.com/baby/fetal-movement-feeling-baby-kick Feeling Your Baby Kick]''. Here, ''stomach'' means ''abdomen''.

; Why are there two slashes after http?
: See ''[https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1220286/Sir-Tim-Berners-Lee-admits-forward-slashes-web-address-mistake.html Sir Tim Berners-Lee admits the forward slashes in every web address 'were a mistake']''.

; Why are there celebrities?
: There are certain people who are more respected and well-known than other people, whether it be because of their acting career, major advancements to science, or a sex tape.

; Why do snakes exist?
: The question is rather general and likely based on a widespread dislike for the reptilians. Be it due to their appearance, their spread, or the danger a few snakes pose to humans (often due to being venomous) many people have a dislike for snakes and would prefer them to not exist (similar to spiders). In regard to "why do snakes exist on earth?": Because evolution. Snakes fill a gap in the ecosystem as predators and hunt different species, including vermin. Snakes are in that regard similar to many other predatory animals. The question on why snakes developed with their distinct streamlined shape is still debated but {{w|snakes|likely it either provided an advantage when burrowing or swimming}}.

; Why do oysters have pearls?
: {{w|Pearl}}s are formed inside the shell of certain mollusks as a defense mechanism against a potentially threatening irritant such as a parasite inside the shell, or an attack from outside, injuring the mantle tissue. The mollusk creates a pearl sac to seal off the irritation. Pearls are commonly viewed by scientists as a by-product of an adaptive immune system-like function.

; Why are ducks called ducks?
: See {{w|Duck#Etymology|Duck § Etymology}}. {{Wiktionary|duck|According to Wiktionary}}, the noun ''duck'' can be traced back to the {{w|Proto-Germanic language|Proto-Germanic}} word {{Wiktionary|Appendix:Proto-Germanic/dūkaną|''dūkaną''}} ("to dive, bend down"), and, in turn, the {{w|Proto-Indo-European language|Proto-Indo-European}} {{Wiktionary|Appendix:Proto-Indo-European/dʰewb-|''dʰewb-''}} ("deep, hollow"), which is the origin of the verb ''to duck''. The link between the noun and the verb comes from ducks' tendency to dive under water for short periods of time.

; Why do they call it the clap?
: Paris' medieval Red Light district was called "les clapiers" (the rabbit cages), therefore people were getting {{w|gonorrhea}} there

; Why are Kyle and Cartman friends?
: The question relates to the TV show {{w|South Park}}. Both are children living in the small titular town in Colorado. Cartman is widely accepted to a be very bad person, one of his many character flaws being his antisemitism. Kyle on the other hand is a Jew. However, both, along with two other kids, Stan and Kenny, are the core focus of the show (or used to be) and to some extents are considered to be friends. While there are episodes which show Cartman being not entirely a horrible person and him holding Kyle in a position of at least a worthy adversary, most of the time the question should be "Why is anyone friends with Cartman?" However, they most likely remain "friends" because they are in the same class at school and are therefore "forced" to be around one another.

; Why is there an arrow on Aang's head?
: {{w|Avatar: The Last Airbender#Characters|Aang}} is the main character of the TV series {{w|Avatar the last Airbender|Avatar - The Last Airbender}} and features as part of a large body spanning tattoo an arrow on his head. These tattoos are made to replicate the markings of one of the shows fictional animals, the air bison which are regarded as the original air benders. They are given to human air benders once they attain the status of masters. Because Aang acquired this status very early in life he was already tattooed accordingly.

; Why are text messages blue?
: This likely refers to iMessage chat being blue. These messages are blue when sending a message to another Apple device. When sent as an RCS or SMS message, they will be green.

; Why are there mustaches on clothes?
: Because some people buy them. Mustaches, especially handlebar-style mustaches, were a popular fad at the time of this comic.

; Why are there mustaches on cars?
: Fuzzy pink mustaches are used to designate cars in the {{w|Lyft}} service.

; Why are there mustaches everywhere?
: See {{w|Movember}}

; Why are there so many birds in Ohio?
: There are an estimated [https://oh.audubon.org/bsc/SOTB.html 400 bird species] in {{w|List of birds of Ohio|Ohio}}, but there are [https://www.jstor.org/discover/2419997sid=21104910103541&uid=4&uid=3739776&uid=2&uid=3739256 2.74 nesting pairs per acre].

; Why is there so much rain in Ohio?
: {{w|lake_effect|Lake-effect}} rain develops in the same manner as lake-effect snow.

; Why is Ohio weather so weird?
: See {{w|Lake-effect snow}}.

===Section Two===

; Why are there male and female bikes?
: Historically, women's {{w|bicycle}} frames had a top tube that connected in the middle of the seat tube instead of the top, resulting in a lower {{w|Frame geometry|standover height}} at the expense of compromised structural integrity, since this places a strong bending load in the seat tube, and bicycle frame members are typically weak in bending. This design, referred to as a {{w|step-through frame}} or as an open frame, allows the rider to mount and dismount in a dignified way while wearing a skirt or dress.</blockquote>

; Why are there bridesmaids?
: See {{w|Bridesmaid#Origin and history|Bridesmaid § Origin and history}}.

; Why do dying people reach up?
: In many works of fiction dying people are regarded with an outstretched arm, grasping for unseen objects towards the sky. In all likelihood this originates in the idea of heaven as the place where (good) people go after death. People "reach for the light" which is seen when dying according to similar beliefs or possibly for already dead relatives or other associated people waiting for them. An alternative hypothesis is that they want to hug/touch their loved ones one last time.

; Why aren't there varicose arteries?
: Blood moves through veins due to irregular pressure from skeletal muscles combined with valves to control direction. In varicose veins these valves malfunction affecting blood flow. In arteries blood flow is produced directly from pressure caused by the heart.

; Why are old Klingons different?
: {{w|Klingon Redesign|From Wikipedia}}: <blockquote>For {{w|Star Trek: The Motion Picture}} (1979), the Klingons were retconned, and their appearance and behavior radically changed. To give the aliens a more sophisticated and threatening demeanor, the Klingons were depicted with ridged foreheads, snagged and prominent teeth, and a defined language and alphabet. Lee Cole, a production designer, used red gels and primitive shapes in the design of Klingon consoles and ship interiors, which took on a dark and moody atmosphere. The alphabet was designed as angular, with sharp edges harkening to the Klingon's militaristic focus.[5] Costume designer Robert Fletcher created new uniforms for the Klingons, reminiscent of feudal Japanese armor.</blockquote>Additionally, there is an in-universe explanation: A [https://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Klingon_augment_virus Klingon augment virus] was deployed to make enhanced warriors, but accidentally made weaker Klingons with human-like features. These afflicted Klingons were the ones seen in the original series.

; Why is programming so hard?
: Programming is the art of writing instructions for a computer to do. Since the computer has a limited set of instructions for you to use it involves a new way of thinking for many. It is also hard because the computer itself is not smart or adaptable to unexpected problems. For instance, when humans are told to sort books in a shelf, they can do that even if there are things in the way (simply moving them to the side). A computer will generally just crash if it doesn't have instructions on how to deal with the unexpected problem.

; Why is there a 0 Ohm resistor?
: A resistor is usually designed to create a certain resistance, measured in {{w|Ohm}} in an electronic device. A 0 Ohm resistor seems pointless as it would only provide the same resistance as a normal cable. However, a 0 Ohm resistor works as an easy way to connect two points of a circuit board utilizing the same machines used to place other resistors. Wikipedia's {{w|Zero-ohm link}} article gives a good explanation.

; Why do Americans hate soccer?
: Soccer, or (association) football in British English, is rather unpopular in the USA compared to most other regions of the world. Finding a particular reason behind the (dis)like for certain sports, apart from cultural spread, is difficult. One possible explanation is soccer's tendency to have far fewer points scored in an average game and a higher likelihood of draws compared to such things as American Football, basketball or baseball, which are far more popular. In how far this is a legitimate argument for regarding soccer as "less interesting" is up to debate. The assumption that Americans dislike soccer is also somewhat dated; the national Womens' team is the most successful in the world, having won 4 FIFA Women's World Cups and consistently encouraging more youngsters to take up the sport. Unfortunately, when it comes to the professional game, the National Soccer League still has a long way to go to catch up with the dominance and name recognition of the NFL (American football) (due primarily to the spectacle of the Super Bowl), the MLB (baseball) (partly credited to the dominance of the New York Yankees and the pageantry of the World Series), and the NBA (basketball), due to the makeup of the American professional sports industry during its golden years in the 1970s & 80s.

; Why do rhymes sound good?
: The brain enjoys repetition, especially in music.

; Why do trees die?
: Some common reasons include lack of water, lack of nitrogen in the soil, soil, root and wind damage, and being chopped down.

; Why is there no sound on CNN?
: Some stations broadcast a {{w|second audio program}}, an alternative soundtrack that your TV can be configured to use instead of the primary program. This is intended to be used for broadcasting in an alternate language, or for {{w|Descriptive Video Service}} to make a program accessible to the visually impaired. Many programs that don't actually use SAP will still broadcast an SAP that is identical to the primary program; however, this is not required. If your TV is configured to use SAP and a particular channel isn't broadcasting SAP at that time, there won't be any sound.

; Why aren't Pokémon real?
: Pokémon are fantasized creatures that were designed to produce an interesting battle mechanic in a game. Some of the Pokémons abilities would be impossible on earth as we know it. For instance, Magcargo is [https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Magcargo#Trivia hotter than the surface of the sun].

; Why aren't bullets sharp?
: See {{w|Terminal ballistics}}.

; Why do dreams seem so real?
: Most dreams occur during a stage known as REM (Rapid Eye Movement). During REM, your brain is highly active, and its wave pattern is the same as the wave patterns in a person who is awake. It should be noted that dreams can occur during other stages of sleep but most dreams that are vivid occur during the REM stage.

===Section Three===

; Why do testicles move?
: The scrotum shrinks and expands to account for temperature changes.

; Why are there psychics?
: A {{w|Psychic}} is a supposed user of anomalous powers. Studies have classified psychic powers as pseudoscience. The existence of psychics appears to be as an economic incentive.

; Why are hats so expensive?
: Hats can be expensive depending on the quality of material, size, location, and demand. A probable answer is that hats are simply difficult to make, causing high prices. Another likely cause is the fact that hats are not widely worn in much of the western world and people who do wear them often have far fewer than they have, for example, shirts, meaning that manufacturers cannot get the same economies of scale in production and distribution.

; Why is there caffeine in my shampoo?
: Because the producers want you to believe that caffeine penetrates the hair roots and thereby somehow protects it from negative testosterone impacts and from premature hair loss.

; Why do your boobs hurt?
: Common reasons are a badly fitted bra, breast growth, or {{w|PMS}}. It could also be a hormone imbalance, breastfeeding, large or awkwardly shaped breasts or a serious condition such as {{w|breast cancer}}.

===Section Four===

; Why aren't economists rich?
: Economists study how society organizes resources but, contrary to the popular misconception, don't focus much on the short-term behavior of the stock market (a system that is still poorly understood). In order to become rich, in most cases one has to own a commodity that produces more wealth, such as a large company, or be related to somebody who has done so. In rare cases, a particularly lucky individual could become rich by having an unusually high paying job, such as a famous actor or sports star. Neither of these situations are likely for someone studying the field of economics. Some economists do get very rich as strategists for banks and businesses, but most are just academics and analysts.

; Why do Americans call it soccer?
: {{w|Association football}} is called "soccer" ("association" + "-er") in US English because {{w|American Football}} is the more popular version there. Of note is that the word "soccer" originates on British soil, to distinguish it from Rugby football aka "rugger".

; Why are my ears ringing?
: {{w|Tinnitus}}, or ringing of the ears, can result from stress, foreign objects in the ear, hearing damage, wax build up, or any other number of causes.

; Why are there so many Avengers?
: The number of Avengers has {{w|List of Avengers members|varied greatly}} over the years and decades, each time with its own justification for why they need to work together, but the simplest answer is money. Cross-branding and cross-merchandising is successful to the brand and brings in new readers, plus creates a new franchise to profit from.

; Why are the Avengers fighting the X Men
: {{w|Avengers vs. X-Men}} was a 2012 Marvel crossover event that, like many other recent comic book events, had heroes fight other heroes. In this case, the {{w|Avengers (comics)|Avengers}} and the {{w|X-Men}} fought over the {{w|Phoenix Force (comics)|Phoenix Force}}, a godlike power that often possesses {{w|Jean Grey}} or her descendants (in this case, her alternate universe daughter Hope Summers). The Avengers believed the Phoenix Force is too powerful for humanity to control and wanted to contain it, while the X-Men believed the Phoenix was the messiah for mutants and could fix all of the Earth's problems.

; Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers
: Wolverine ''has'' been an Avenger, in some circumstances. e.g. in the {{w|The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes}} cartoon series, the episode ''New Avengers'' had Wolverine (along with Spider-man, War Machine, The Thing and Luke Cage and Iron Fist) substitute while the 'original' Avengers were unavailable to deal with the current crisis (which of course included the fate of the 'proper' Avengers). However, in general his anti-authority personality makes him a difficult team-member to field, and he has frequently disassociated himself even from the X-Men. But, in Avengers vs. X-Men (see above) Wolverine ''sided'' with The Avengers, and more modern treatments have even included the character in about as much a permanent a membership of the group as Logan is ever likely to have. But if the question is about why Wolverine didn't appear in {{w|The Avengers (2012 film)|''The Avengers''}}, the answer is that ''The Avengers'' is being produced by Marvel/Disney, while Fox still has the rights to the X-Men and all Marvel mutants in general. Unless there is studio agreement, the two properties cannot cross, except through complicated machinations. For example, there were plans to bring Avengers mainstays Quicksilver and The Scarlet Witch to both the ''Avengers'' and ''X-Men'' franchises (plans which successfully came to pass after this comic was written) but only the Fox films had the right to call them the children of Magneto at the time, and Marvel/Disney couldn't even identify them on-screen as "mutants".

===Section Five===

; Why are there ants in my laptop?
: Ants usually come in your laptop when there are little crumbs of food. It is advised to get screen protectors.

; Why is Earth tilted?
: The Earth's axial "tilt", wherein its axis of rotation is not perpendicular it its orbit, is a result of conservation of momentum when the Earth was formed, because not everything orbits in the same way. This is pure happenstance.

; Why is space black?
: What we call black is the absence of light. Space is mostly empty, and although there are many stars, the light from most of these stars hasn't reached us yet. In addition, a lot of light has been stretched by {{w|redshift}} so it's no longer visible to us. See {{w|Olbers' paradox}}

; Why is outer space so cold?
: It's hard to actually define a temperature for space - it's empty, so there's nothing to measure. However, most of space has very little radiation hitting it, so a person won't receive any energy, but will still radiate some away, resulting in a net loss of energy, colloquially "heat." Around the Earth, objects in direct sunlight will actually get very hot. In deep space, there is almost no warming radiation.

; Why are there pyramids on the moon?
: There are no pyramids on the moon. However, the appearance of mountains and some craters on the moon have fooled some into believing there are pyramids on the moon, but these claims are false.

; Why is NASA shutting down?
: NASA isn't shutting down. This question might have something to do with the {{w|United States federal government shutdown of 2013}} or perhaps due to the {{w|Space Shuttle program}} ending in 2011, but that is not the entirety of NASA.

===Section Six===

; Why are there tiny spiders in my house?

; Why do spiders come inside?

; Why are there huge spiders in my house?

; Why are there lots of spiders in my house?

; Why are there spiders in my room?

; Why are there so many spiders in my room?
: During autumn in particular male spiders reaching maturing will set off to find a mate. By chance they may end up in your house. When encountering spiders in large numbers, it is more likely that they are young from the same female spider. Females lay {{w|Spider#Reproduction_and_life_cycle|up to 3,000}} eggs at a time. These questions also play off of Munroe's longstanding fear of spiders, especially the [[8: Red spiders|red spiders]] mentioned in [[:Category:Red Spiders|several early comics]].

; Why do spider bites itch?
: This mostly happens as an immune response to [https://www.mnn.com/health/fitness-well-being/stories/why-do-mosquito-bites-itch histamines] under the skin which are injected through saliva. This entire string of questions is intended as a joke, the implication being that they all came from one person whose house (and later room) was taken over by spiders which then bit them.

; Why is dying so scary?
: Part of human nature is the fear of the unknown, and death is the ultimate unknown because it is not knowable until it's experienced, and there is nobody to report what the result was. This leaves it open to speculation, and many major religions are based on preparing one's soul for death. Also, dying would leave loved ones' families with the responsibility of taking care of their remains and finances. And finally, most people don't want to die, living for as long as possible, possibly because the unknown is too unbearable to cope with. Several causes of death are known to inflict pain to the victim, and fear of pain is an instilled evolutionary safeguard for preventing harm to a sapient creature. Still though several people are not afraid of death and dying, and recognize life is short and to cherish each moment while we can. Death is inevitable, so we should not fear it. In addition, it would be evolutionarily advantageous for our ancestors to have feared and avoided death.

; Why is there no GPS in laptops?
: It is possible for laptops to have a GPS, and some do. But there are [https://security.stackexchange.com/questions/50907/are-there-gps-tracker-for-laptops design difficulties] that have to be overcome including battery draining, room within the crowded device to place a receiver, WiFi can give a location just as well, and the product casing could interfere with its ability to functional normally and receive the signals necessary to operate as intended. Some Dell computers have these, but the privacy one needs to give up accepting the terms and conditions makes it unfavorable.

; Why do knees click?
: Typical of other clicking and cracking of joints, this may be the sound of [https://www.webmd.com/pain-management/knee-pain/features/knee-cracks-pops ligaments tightening]. However, do not rely on a wiki to diagnose a medical condition. Consult a licensed physician.

; Why aren't there E grades?
: E grades [https://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/02/e-f-grading-scale/ actually exist] in some districts, but they are rare. In their long and bizarre history, E was originally used where F is today (E was the lowest grade), but in those systems, students often received E's for an "Excellent" grade, creating much confusion. F was used in place instead and E was eliminated from a standard grading scale.

; Why is isolation bad?
: Isolation is when a person deliberately secludes themselves away from others, often far-removed from society. This can happen in locations as small as a city apartment and as large as the open woods. People evolved as social animals and it is generally held that those who isolate themselves suffer from depression or other forms of psychological imbalance. Of course, society can trigger many of these imbalances causing an individual to isolate themselves. Isolation is often seen as therapeutic so people can spend time with themselves constructively, often finding peace within themselves and through mediation. Monks and hermits generally live in solitude as well. Many people view a decision to be isolated as noble, and others as healthy. While general interaction is largely healthy, in the crowded modern world, isolation is neither good or bad; it depends on the person and what that isolation does to them.

; Why do boys like me?
: Attraction comes in many forms: physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, among others. Some people will lie about what they like about you to get something from you (money, sex, etc.), but most are genuine. It is not possible to assert definitively why one person may like another person, and that is something that needs to be discussed openly and honestly with them and nobody else.

; Why don't boys like me?
: Similar to the answer above about what makes one desirable to another, there are an equal number of factors that make one unappealing. This can include everything from physical appearance to how one treats others. If a person is rude and unfriendly, most people find that not conducive to healthy relationship and avoid the person who is asking. Not being liked by someone you like however does not mean you're wrong or are a bad person and, in most cases, has to do with the person you are asking about.

; Why is there always a Java update?
: [https://www.java.com/en/download/faq/whatis_java.xml Java] is a software that runs on most computers and mobile devices that is crucial to its security and stability. The reason it always updates is because it needs to stay current with the ever-upgrading fleet of browsers, operating systems and software that supports Java. Additionally, Java updates itself so each version can run optimally. Software coding and debugging is a never-ending process towards perfectly stable releases.

; Why are there red dots on my thighs?
: This might be {{w|Petechia}}, which are broken blood vessels, however, do not rely on a wiki to diagnose medical conditions. Consult a licensed physician.

; Why is lying good?
: Lying and other forms of dishonesty is typically seen as bad because it lowers one's credibility and makes them less likely to be trusted in the future. It is almost always advantageous to tell the truth, as lies have a way of escalating as you need to keep expanding on the lie to cover your tracks. There are instances however where lying may be used in more noble circumstances. For example, if a friend asks your opinion on something they have made (such as a poem or painting) that you do not like, it is okay to tell them you like it because protecting their feelings and your relationship is more important than how you feel. Often military personnel are trained to keep national security secrets at all costs and will lie about what they know to save themselves and the country.

===Section Seven===

; Why are there slaves in the bible?
: Slavery was viewed differently in the early years of human civilization before the contemporary moral and ethical conversations began centuries later. The Jewish legal system as presented in the bible {{w|The Bible and slavery|justified slavery}} for a number of reasons, notably to pay off some sort of debt. Slaves were seen as property and their work provided value to the slave owner, but such a relationship was legally required to be temporary, and slaves had some basic human rights. Similarly, slave owners rationalized their ownership through scripture, pointing out that it was in the Bible and therefore okay with God — without wishing to go off on a tangent, if you have to rationalize your system of slavery then it's probably illegal under historic Jewish law.

; Why do twins have different fingerprints?
: Fingerprints are not only from the DNA, but from the conditions in the womb which differ from child to child.

; Why are Americans afraid of dragons?
: This question was the title of a [https://blogs.sfu.ca/courses/spring2012/engl387/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Why-are-Americans-Afraid-of-Dragons.docx 1974 essay] by Ursula K. LeGeuin in which she makes a {{w|Semiotics|semiotic}} analysis of dragon mythology. She argues that our belief in dragons (and those outside of America as well) stems from childhood, much like other ferocious fictional creatures such as goblins and hobbits, but many hold onto these fears as a way of avoiding reality. In her closing argument, she writes, "They know that its truth challenges, even threatens, all that is false, all that is phony, unnecessary, and trivial in the life they have let themselves be forced into living. They are afraid of dragons, because they are afraid of freedom."

; Why is HTTPS crossed out in red?

; Why is there a line through HTTPS?
: The site accessed has an invalid SSL certificate. See [[2634: Red Line Through HTTPS]].

; Why is there a red line through HTTPS on Facebook?
: The website has an invalid SSL certificate. This may be the result of a scam, a misdirection, a typo, or some kind of configuration error in the client or the remote server.

; Why is HTTPS important?
: For security reasons, as a site with HTTPS has encrypted traffic.

===Section Eight===

; Why are there swarms of gnats?
: The reason gnats (and other creatures) tend to swarm together is likely a safety-in-numbers protection, and as a big gathering to find a mate.

; Why is there phlegm?
: {{w|Phlegm#Phlegm|Phlegm}} is a thick, viscous fluid produced by the mucus membranes as a way to clear the airway and aids in the release of bacteria, disease and debris in those passages.

; Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN
: From a Minnesota Paper, [https://www.startribune.com/local/138902104.html the Star Tribune], "Laws prevent the city from poisoning the crows". "Duffy [ {{w|Steve Duffy}}, a co-owner of U.S. Bird Abatement Services, which has contracted with Rochester to get rid of the crows] isn't sure why Rochester has such a bad crow problem; probably a confluence of many bird-friendly conditions that has also made it a magnet for {{w|geese}}. He's seen worse cases but called Rochester's situation 'hideous.'" And best of all, "The city has twice this winter hired experts to chase them off. They tried {{w|lasers}} and bullhorns — hey, get out of here, you crows — and even employed raptors to pick them off, one by one. That worked, for awhile." Unfortunately, they mean a {{w|bird of prey}}, not a {{w|velociraptor}}.

; Why is Psychic weak to Bug
: In Pokémon, Pokémon of the Psychic type like Alakazam are weak to three types of attacks: Ghost, Dark, and Bug. The general theory is that Psychic Pokémon, relying heavily on their thoughts for attacks, are weak to fears, which ghosts, darkness, and bugs can be classified as.

; Why do children get cancer?
: {{w|Cancer}} is an aggressive and often fatal disease that has the potential to affect all humans as well as other organisms. There are multiple types of cancer, each with their own epidemiology, but children are not immune to succumbing to the horrific effects of the disease. Children are subject to the same illnesses adults have, regardless of age, or their innocence. There is no divine or supernatural explanation for this. Simply put, life is a battle for all humans regardless of how small they are.

; Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus?
: {{w|Poseidon}} was the patron deity of the city of {{w|Troy}}, which after a 10-year siege by the Greeks fell due to {{w|Odysseus}}' strategem of the {{w|Trojan_Horse|Trojan horse}}. As the Greeks were returning home after the Trojan War, Oddyseus' ship accidentally landed on the island home of the cyclops Polyphemus, who imprisoned the crew and ate many of them. In order to escape, Odysseus blinded the cyclops. Poseidon, Polyphemus' father, was extremely angered by his son being blinded, so he cursed Odysseus' ship to prevent him from reaching his home in {{W|Ithaca}}. The adventures which Odysseus encountered during his quest for reaching Ithaca are the main theme of {{w|Homer|Homer's}} {{w|Odyssey}} The Odyssey also says that before sailing, the crew forgot to offer a sacrifice as was ordained.

; Why is there ice in space?
: Space is {{w|Outer_space#Environment|Cold}}. The background radiation, which is used to measure the temperature of space's vacuum, is estimated at about 3K (−270 °C; −454 °F). Water freezes at 273.15 K (0 °C; 32 °F). Because the temperature in space is less than the freezing point of water, liquids freeze in space, turning into ice.

===Section Nine===

; Why is there an owl in my back yard?

; Why is there an owl outside my window?
: Owls can be seen all over the world and live in a wide variety of habitats. They are mainly nocturnal, and spend a large portion of the night hunting. The owl in your back yard and your window is likely looking for food.

; Why is there an owl on the dollar bill?
: On the front of a dollar bill, near the upper right '1' is a tiny section of the design which can be seen to represent an owl. Conspiracy theorists will note that owls were symbolically linked to the Masons, while others will instead see a spider.

; Why do owls attack people?
: While owls and human often live in close proximity without problems, as with other species, owls may attack if they feel threatened. When people irritate or otherwise make owls feel unsafe, they retaliate with violence to protect themselves.

; Why are AK47s so expensive?
: The market value of an AK47 varies depending on where you live. With strict gun control laws, obtaining an AK47 in the UK is likely to be more expensive due to the risks involved for those supplying the weapon. In former Soviet republics and the Middle East, AK47s are more plentiful, and hence the price is likely to be lower.

; Why are there helicopters circling my house?
: People living in high-crime areas will often hear helicopters circling, especially at night, when police use the helicopter's searchlight to locate and track suspects, or to light a crime scene. Those Googling this question might be wondering if a dangerous fugitive is nearby, or what else may be going on. Potentially, the questioner may be hallucinating the helicopters or imagining themselves as the target due to {{w|paranoid schizophrenia}}, in which either a neurochemical imbalance or distorted thought patterns causes {{w|delusions of persecution}}. Alternately, this question may be a joke because it is so incongruous to the others in this section. The joke is that people would be Googling about owls attacking people and assault rifle prices, which could, ostensibly alert authorities to come to your house to arrest you.

===Section Ten===

; Why are there gods?
: Gods and goddesses are part of mythology and folklore that are used to give spiritual guidance as well as explanations for phenomena that are yet unexplained by natural processes.

; Why are there two Spocks?
: This is probably a reference to the {{w|Star_Trek_(film)|2009 Star Trek movie}} in which the franchise was given a {{w|Reboot_(fiction)|continuity reboot}}. The modified setting is explained in-universe by time travel, with both the villain Nero and the original-timeline Spock being brought back from the 24th century to the 23rd, creating a timeline in which both older Spock (played by Leonard Nimoy) and the younger Spock (played by Zachary Quinto) coexist. Another possibility is that the question refers to the episode {{w|Mirror,_Mirror_(Star_Trek:_The_Original_Series)|"Mirror, Mirror"}}, which mostly takes place in an alternate universe populated by ruthless versions of most of the characters (including Spock).

; Why is Mt Vesuvius there?
: The simple answer is that volcanoes are created by interactions where the Earth's tectonic plates meet. These conditions only exist in a few places on Earth. The question could also be asking, "why is Mt Vesuvius near such a heavily populated area?" Humans have lived near Vesuvius throughout history, due to its pleasant climate, rich soil, and proximity to other major cities. The Italian government [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2003/jun/05/italy.sophiearie offers generous cash incentives] to move people away from the danger zone, but finds few takers.This question could also be a reference to mountaineer {{w|George Mallory}}'s famous answer as to why he wanted to climb Mount Everest: "Because it's there."

; Why do they say T minus?
: Time before the launch of a spacecraft is denoted as "T-minus" because the launch has not happened yet. Any time after the launch is typcally stated with a "plus", for example "T-plus 3 minutes, 17 seconds", so time before the launch is counted downwards as "minus" time. The "T" stands for "Time", as in the practical zero time of launch, although the eventual reaching of zero (related to the intended "L" time of launching) is often still subject to change ''before'' the launch, for both {{w|Built-in hold|planned and unplanned holds}} of arbitrary length.

; Why are there obelisks?
: The {{w|Obelisk}} article has more information.

; Why are wrestlers always wet?
: Professional wrestling is strenuous activity, whether it's fake or not. Strenuous activity results in sweat, giving the bodyan appearance of being wet. Greco-Roman wrestling and Turkish Oil Wrestling both involve oiling the body, giving a similar appearance.

; Why are oceans becoming more acidic?
: Due to the higher amount of carbon dioxide on the atmosphere, which dissolves in the oceans turning into carbonic acid - CO2+H2O=H2CO3 (see {{w|Ocean acidification}})

; Why is Arwen dying?
: {{w|Elf (Middle-Earth)#Death|Elves}} in ''The Lord of the Rings'' can die from grief.

; Why aren't my quail laying eggs?
: Not enough sunlight/calcium, or they are egg bound (very serious)?

; Why aren't my quail eggs hatching?
: Problems in incubation, or the eggs may not be fertilized.

; Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America?
: Further information: {{w|United States military deployments}}This is a very interesting question, albeit one likely based on a regional misunderstanding. Presumably, this question is asked by Americans who assume that the existence of {{w|Category:Military facilities of the United States by country|U.S. military bases abroad}} is a general trend among countries, as opposed to being the rarity that it is. In fact, {{w|List of countries with overseas military bases|only a handful of other countries}} have military bases outside of their borders, and the three—{{w|France}}, the {{w|United Kingdom}}, and {{w|Russia}}—that have more than one or two are all countries that, like the United States, {{w|Allies of World War II|were on the winning side of World War II}}, have {{w|List of countries by military expenditures|massive military expenditures}}, and have {{w|United Nations Security Council veto power|UN Security Council vetoes}}. In other words, only the most militarily elite countries have bases overseas. The U.S. is unique, however, in that it has far more overseas bases than any other country (and, pretty much, far more of anything else than any other country, when it comes to the military), and in that {{w|List of United States military bases|it has bases in several other highly-industrialized nations}}, including {{w|List of United States Army installations in South Korea|South Korea}} and the United Kingdom, and, most notably, the World War II {{w|Axis powers}}: {{w|List of United States Army installations in Germany|Germany}}, {{w|United States s Japan|Japan}}, and {{w|List of United States Army installations in Italy|Italy}}. France, Russia, and the U.K.'s bases, on the other hand, are almost all within areas that they previously controlled.These bases can be controversial in some countries, while in others they are a major source of economic and political stability. The U.S. traditionally justifies their presence as a necessary and crucial element in its efforts to promote peace domestically and worldwide. Despite their major role in {{w|U.S. foreign policy}}, and in the general political structure of the globe, the American public often largely ignores them, and they rarely become a major political issue (apart from an occasional mention by {{w|Libertarian Party (United States)|Libertarian presidential candidates}}).So, essentially, the absence of foreign military bases within the U.S. is primarily because there aren't really any other countries in a position to place bases there. Ironically, although no battles in the traditional sense have been fought within the U.S. since the {{w|U.S. Civil War}} and the U.S. mainland has seen {{w|Mainland invasion of the United States|almost no military action}}, foreign air bases might have been useful on September 11, 2001. (The {{w|attack on Pearl Harbor}} in 1941 was 18 years before Hawaii became a U.S. state, but Hawaii was still a fundamental part of the United States as it was an incorporated territory.)There are, however, foreign troops stationed at some continental US military bases. For example, RAF (British Royal Air ) 39 Sqn and 361 Sqn at Creech Air Base in Nevada flying Reaper and Predator drones. But these are not foreign military bases, they are just guests.

===Section Eleven===

; Why are my boobs itchy?
: It could be anything from dry skin to a rare life-threatening disease. Could also be related to pregnancy, PMS, or puberty. [https://www.just-health.net/Itchy-Breast.html Here's a thorough list] of possible causes and remedies.

; Why are cigarettes legal?
: Despite the obvious detrimental effects nicotine has on health, it is, like caffeine and alcohol, more profitable to regulate than to ban, and is also subject to intense lobbying by tobacco companies to keep it legal. Substances like cocaine and other drugs are mainly illegal because of government attitudes disapproving of recreational drug use coupled with there being no powerful preexisting corporate lobby with a stake in making or keeping these drugs legal, and also, with some drugs (in the US, at least), due to more than a bit of racism (against Mexicans with regard to marijuana, or against Chinese for opium). Nicotine, however, which is the key ingredient in tobacco, is regulated and heavily taxed, bringing income for the government. This is one of the major arguments for legalizing other, currently-illegal drugs, at least the "softer" ones like marijuana, as, if they're legalized, they can be taxed and bring the government more money, and the government can provide an incentive for producers and sellers to keep their product safe and high-quality (by punishing those who mislabel their drugs or cut them with dangerous substances, while letting producers and sellers of safe, high-quality drugs operate without fear of arrest or prosecution).

; Why are there ducks in my pool?
: Most likely, they're looking for a place to mate. Which means you'll soon have baby ducks in your pool. Most migratory birds are protected by wildlife laws, so you want to prevent them from moving into your pool in the first place. The [https://www.dfwwildlife.org/duck.html DFW Wildlife Coalition] has some tips.

; Why is Jesus white?
: This is an ethnocentric viewpoint that varies throughout cultures. In African cultures he is portrayed as black. In short, whatever culture he is introduced to, those inhabitants will have him fit their own image.

; Why is there liquid in my ear?
: [https://www.healthline.com/symptom/discharge-from-ear It's called otorrhea], and can be caused by infection, trauma, or changes in pressure. A common cause is [https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/swimmers-ear/basics/definition/con-20014723 Swimmer's ear], an infection of the outer ear canal. More seriously, it could be Cerebrospinal fluid. This can end up in your ears due to a puncture in the skull's membrane, often due to a collision/concussion. This is a very serious condition. Again, do not take (too much) medical advice from wiki.

; Why do Q tips feel good?
: The inner ear contains {{w|erectile tissue}} (as does your inner nose which is why sneezing feels good) so you are massaging tissue which gets aroused upon stimulation.

; Why do good people die?
: Everybody dies, no matter how good or bad they were. But sometimes if people are really bad, they are made to die sooner. (But loved ones and ones who were known to make memorable or valuable contributions are mourned and revered more than a person who has left much pain to others as their legacy; we remember the good ones and so it hurts more.)

; Why are ultrasounds important?
: Ultrasound scans provide a great deal of information about a fetus, thus increasing the chances of a healthy birth. They have many other medical uses.

; Why are ultrasound machines expensive?
: As hospital equipment goes, ultrasound machines are actually a bargain. [https://www.costowl.com/healthcare/healthcare-ultrasound-machine-costs.html A new ultrasound machine] costs about $20,000-$75,000, depending on features. Comparable devices are much more expensive: The [https://info.blockimaging.com/bid/84432/CT-Scanner-Price-Guide CT scanner] runs $90,000-$250,000, while the [https://www.ehow.com/about_4731161_much-do-mri-machines-cost.html MRI machine] easily goes over a million.

; Why is stealing wrong?
: Stealing is theft, and it is illegal. Taking something that is not yours without permission or payment hurts the livelihood of other individuals as well as damages their trust in others.

==Transcript==
: [This strip is a rectangular word cloud, titled 'Questions found in Google autocomplete'. Embedded in the cloud are five single panels, with illustrated questions. These are described at the end. Questions are given in roughly columnar order. None of the questions have question marks.]

: Questions found in Google Autocomplete

: Why do whales jump
: Why are witches green
: Why are there mirrors above beds
: Why do I say uh
: Why is sea salt better
: Why are there trees in the middle of fields
: Why is there not a Pokemon MMO
: Why is there laughing in TV shows
: Why are there doors on the freeway
: Why are there so many svchost.exe running
: Why aren't there any countries in antarctica
: Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft
: Why is there kicking in my stomach
: Why are there two slashes after HTTP
: Why are there celebrities
: Why do snakes exist
: Why do oysters have pearls
: Why are ducks called ducks
: Why do they call it the clap
: Why are Kyle and Cartman friends
: Why is there an arraow on Aang's head
: Why are text messages blue
: Why are there mustaches on clothes
: Why are there mustaches on cars
: Why are there mustaches everywhere
: Why are there so many birds in Ohio
: Why is there so much rain in Ohio
: Why is Ohio weather so weird
: Why are there male and female bikes
: Why are there bridesmaids
: Why do dying people reach up
: Why aren't there varicose arteries
: Why are old Klingons different
: Why is programming so hard
: Why is there a 0 ohm resistor
: Why do Americans hate soccer
: Why do rhymes sound good
: Why do trees die
: Why is there no sound on CNN
: Why aren't Pokemon real
: Why aren't bullets sharp
: Why do dreams seem so real
: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts
: Why do iguanas die
: Why do testicles move
: Why are there psychics
: Why are hats so expensive
: Why is there caffeine in my shampoo
: Why do your boobs hurt
: Why aren't economists rich
: Why do Americans call it soccer
: Why are my ears ringing
: Why are there so many Avengers
: Why are the Avengers fighting the X men
: Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers
: Why are there ants in my laptop
: Why is Earth tilted
: Why is space black
: Why is outer space so cold
: Why are there pyramids on the moon
: Why is NASA shutting down
: Why is there Hell if God forgives
: Why are there tiny spiders in my house
: Why do spiders come inside
: Why are there huge spiders in my house
: Why are there lots of spiders in my house
: Why are there spiders in my room
: Why are there so many spiders in my room
: Why do spider bites itch
: Why is dying so scary
: Why is there no GPS in laptops
: Why do knees click
: Why aren't there E grades
: Why is isolation bad
: Why do boys like me
: Why don't boys like me
: Why is there always a Java update
: Why are there red dots on my thighs
: Why is lying good
: Why is GPS free
: Why are trees tall
: Why are there slaves in the Bible
: Why do twins have different fingerprints
: Why are Americans afraid of dragons
: Why is there lava
: Why are there swarms of gnats
: Why is there phlegm
: Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN
: Why is psychic weak to bug
: Why do children get cancer
: Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus
: Why is there ice in space
: Why are there female Mr Mimes
: Why is there an owl in my backyard
: Why is there an owl outside my window
: Why is there an owl on the dollar bill
: Why do owls attack people
: Why are AK47s so expensive
: Why are there helicopters circling my house
: Why are there gods
: Why are there two Spocks
: Why is Mt Vesuvius there
: Why do they say T minus
: Why are there obelisks
: Why are wrestlers always wet
: Why are oceans becoming more acidic
: Why is Arwen dying
: Why aren't my quail laying eggs
: Why aren't my quail eggs hatching
: Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America
: Why is life so boring
: Why are my boobs itchy
: Why are cigarettes legal
: Why are there ducks in my pool
: Why is Jesus white
: Why is there liquid in my ear
: Why do Q tips feel good
: Why do good people die
: Why are ultrasounds important
: Why are ultrasound machines expensive
: Why is stealing wrong
: Why is YKK on all zippers
: Why is HTTPS crossed out in red
: Why is there a line through HTTPS
: Why is there a red line through HTTPS on Facebook
: Why is HTTPS important
: Why are there weeks
: Why do I feel dizzy
: Why are dogs afraid of fireworks
: Why is there no king in England

: [We see Cueball from the torso up, with arms outstretched.]
: Cueball: Why aren't my arms growing

: [Megan stands with a grey ghost on either side of her.]
: Megan: Why are there ghosts

: [Beret Guy stands, looking at a squirrel.]
: Beret Guy: Why are there squirrels

: [Cueball stands.]
: Cueball: Why is sex so important.

: [We see Ponytail from the torso up.]
: Ponytail: Why aren't there guns in Harry Potter

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Pokémon]]
[[Category:Google Search]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]
[[Category:Weather]]
[[Category:Harry Potter]]
[[Category:Religion]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Volcanoes]]
[[Category:Minecraft]]
[[Category:Ants]]
[[Category:Comics featuring children]]
[[Category:Disney]]
[[Category:Ghosts]]

3167: Car Size

2026-03-05T16:35:41Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */ edited the final sentence for clarity and removed the "unfinished transcript" notice

{{comic
| number = 3167
| date = November 12, 2025
| title = Car Size
| image = car_size_2x.png
| imagesize = 348x754px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'They really shouldn't let those small cars drive in traffic. I worry I'm going to kill someone if I hit one! They should have to drive on the sidewalk, safely out of the way.'
}}

==Explanation==
This comic demonstrates one reason why vehicles have gotten progressively larger and more powerful, due to a type of {{w|arms race}} between drivers. When vehicles of different sizes share the road, passengers in the smaller ones will usually be more at risk in collisions, since the body construction and lower inertia generally provide less protection. So, for safety reasons, people have an incentive to buy larger cars. According to the comic, this causes a cycle of cars for increasingly selfish owners, which reaches a point of absurdity due to the cost and mass of giant cars, implying a never-ending vicious cycle.

In the "Soon" panel, Randall has extrapolated this to adding spiked armor and weaponry to large cars, and other drivers will need to outdo this to compete on the road. This scenario is reminiscent of the vehicles from the {{w|Mad Max}} franchise, and of the [https://wackyraces.fandom.com/wiki/The_Slag_Brothers Slag Brothers] from Wacky Races. Unfortunately, the whirling spike club scenario is problematic (not just in terms of injury or death but even in the happy path): if all the cars on the road have whirling spike clubs, as soon as your car comes in contact, your club will be destroyed or at least damaged. This will make you prey for the cars who have not yet been in an accident.

The title text views this from the opposite perspective. The owner of a large car is worried that they'll kill people in small cars, so believes that small car drivers shouldn't drive on the road at all and should be restricted to the sidewalk for their own safety. Driving the smallest cars in pedestrian spaces is obviously absurd, but follows the prior trend of separating bikes from car traffic "for cyclists' safety" and often having them share pedestrian spaces due to "practical" constraints. While this reduces conflicts between cyclists and drivers of motor vehicles, it results in cyclists and pedestrians becoming an inconvenience and danger to each other instead. In the car-centric view, it is not worth creating separate infrastructure for bicycles and similar small vehicles, so the title text's extension of the trend is to classify small cars as bike-like vehicles, even though this endangers both smaller vehicles and pedestrians.

Biking on sidewalks is illegal in some jurisdictions, with a greater number banning small powered vehicles like e-bikes. Where either kind of bike is allowed, laws generally require that the rider take precautions like riding at reasonable speeds when near pedestrians, alerting pedestrians when passing, and yielding to pedestrians when needed. Small, low-speed carts do routinely share some larger pedestrian spaces, such as golf courses and large airports, but even these would have trouble safely passing on regular sidewalks. Smaller single-occupant electric vehicles (mobility scooters) frequently share pedestrian spaces, but their limited speeds reduce the frequency and potential severity of impacts.

==Transcript==

:[The comic is made up of four panels, beginning with Cueball talking to Megan and then alternating with each panel, both of them surrounded by progressively larger vehicles.]
:[Panel one is labeled "100 years ago." Cueball and Megan are standing with a bicycle to the left of them and an old-fashioned car to their right.]
:Cueball: It's too dangerous riding a bike with these cars around. I should get a car, too.

:[Panel two is labeled "50 years ago." Cueball and Megan are standing between a small hatchback (right) and a slightly larger sedan (left).]
:Megan: Small cars are less safe in collisions with larger vehicles, so I should get a bigger one.

:[Panel three is labeled "Today." Cueball and Megan are standing between a large SUV (left) and an even larger SUV (right).]
:Cueball: Everyone has huge SUVs now. If I don't get the biggest one, I'm putting my family at risk.

:[Panel four is labeled "Soon." Cueball and Megan are standing to the left of a massive SUV with metal plates bolted to its side, spiked panels attached to the front and back, spiked/off-road tires and two giant spiked clubs hanging from a rotor on top of the car. An even more massive spiked club is visible coming from the left of the panel, presumably attached to a similar (even larger) car. Megan has raised her arms slightly.]
:Megan: If I don't install more whirling spike clubs, I'll be destroyed by all the other drivers who...

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

3213: Dental Formulas

2026-03-05T15:07:07Z

Amateurautist: added a comma in the transcript

{{comic
| number = 3213
| date = February 27, 2026
| title = Dental Formulas
| image = dental_formulas_2x.png
| imagesize = 212x337px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I mean, half of these are undefined. And your multiplication dots are too low; they look like decimal points.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A {{w|dental formula}} specifies the typical number and location of teeth of each type for a given species. There are two rows, representing the upper and lower jaw, separated by a horizontal line. On each row, the number of each type of tooth is given for one side of the jaw, with dots separating the numbers. The number of {{w|incisors}} is indicated first, {{w|canine teeth|canines}} second, {{w|premolars}} third, and finally {{w|molars}}. The formula in the comic would represent 3 incisors, 1 canine, 3 premolars, and 1 molar on each side of the upper jaw, and equal numbers in the lower jaw, with the exception that there are only 2 premolars; this is the dental formula for the {{w|Felidae|cat family}}. The adult human dental formula is 2.1.2.3 for both the upper and lower jaw.

Cueball is mistakenly treating a dental formula as an arithmetic expression, with the line indicating division and the dots indicating multiplication: 3⋅1⋅3⋅1 divided by 3⋅1⋅2⋅1, giving 9/6 = 3/2. Since the numbers involved are always small natural numbers, calculating the results when treating them this way would be fairly trivial, which is why he is surprised at the effort given to studying them.

In the title text, his statement that half the formulae are undefined refers to animals that lack one of the four types of teeth in the lower jaw, leading to a zero in the lower part of the dental formula. Cueball is attempting to multiply all terms in that lower part, giving a result of zero, and then treat that as a mathematical denominator, resulting in an {{w|Division_by_zero|undefined division expression}}. He also notes that the "dots are too low", as the dots in a dental formula are {{w|Full stop|period characters}}, whereas multiplication in mathematical formulae uses {{w|Interpunct#In_mathematics_and_science|middle dot}} characters (except in the Commonwealth, where this is sometimes reversed).

The word '{{wiktionary|mammologist}}' is an alternate spelling of '{{wiktionary|mammalogist}}', meaning one who studies {{w|mammals}} (or, in some cases, specifically studying the mammaries (i.e. breasts) which mark out mammals in general). Unlike odontology (dentistry, not to be confused with {{w|odonatology}}), which studies the ''health'' of a patient's teeth, mammalogy studies teeth as a means to identify species and what they eat.

The comic's number, 3123, could also be interpreted as (part of) a dental formula.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[Cueball and Megan are standing in front of a whiteboard, on which is written
::3.1.3.1 3.1.2.1
:along with a drawing of a tooth and some other scribbles.]

:Cueball: Do mammologists think these are hard?
:Cueball: I mean, this one just evaluates to 3/2.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Mathematicians encounter dental formulas

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Math]]

997: Wait Wait

2026-03-05T15:04:27Z

Amateurautist: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 997
| date = December 30, 2011
| title = Wait Wait
| image = wait_wait.png
| titletext = You can't stab Carl Kasell. He sounds all slow and stentorian, but he moves like a snake.
}}

==Explanation==

{{incomplete|Provide a detailed explanation for all panels.}}

''{{w|Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me}}'' is an hour-long weekly radio news panel game show produced by {{w|Chicago Public Radio}} and {{w|National Public Radio}}. The show is hosted by {{w|playwright}} and actor {{w|Peter Sagal}}. Each episode ends with the panelists making up a potential future news story, usually with implausible "facts". This comic is making puns on the title of the show based on what Peter Sagal might have done that was newsworthy.

{{w|Carl Kasell}}, who also served as the news anchor on {{w|Morning Edition}}, was the show's official judge and scorekeeper until May 2014 (after this comic was published), when he retired and was replaced by Bill Kurtis.

{| class="wikitable" style="width:100%;"
|+ Headlines
|-
! scope="col" | Headline Explanation
! scope="col" | Column 1
! scope="col" | Column 2
! scope="col" | Column 3
! scope="col" | Column 4
|-
! scope="row" | Row 1
| This panel imagines Peter Sagal in a hostage standoff inside a {{w|Whole Foods}} grocery store. If one were a hostage, they would likely try to plead for their life, maybe saying something similar to "Wait, wait, don't shoot me!"
| If someone quit the race for nomination in the {{w|GOP}} (or any political party), they would likely be taken off the ballot and people would no longer be able to vote for them.
| This paper mocks classic celebrity scandal articles. In this example, {{w|Peter Sagal}} confesses his feelings towards {{w|Kermit the Frog}}.
| This paper may refer to the {{w|Michael_Richards#2006–2012:_Laugh_Factory_incident_and_aftermath| Laugh Factory Incident}} of 2006.
|-
! scope="row" | Row 2
| One meaning of "axe" is "end, cancel, or dismiss suddenly and ruthlessly." In this case, NPR is canceling ''Wait Wait'', Sagal's quiz show.
| In this paper, it's imagined that Sagal stabbed Carl Kasell on air, likely out of anger after being interrupted by him.
| Poison ivy has an irritating oil on its leaves called {{w|urushiol}} that causes an itchy, irritating rash on the contact site. In this scenario, Sagal touched some poison ivy with his face, and is urging people to not look at his unsightly rash.
| This panel may be inspired by [https://www.npr.org/2011/02/26/134060943/actor-jesse-eisenberg-plays-not-my-job a segment of ''Wait Wait'' in January 2011] in which actor {{w|Jesse Eisenberg}} revealed he had made a Facebook account under Sagal's name, and later deleted it.
|-
! scope="row" | Row 3
| {{w|Lakshmi Singh}} is NPR's national midday newscaster. In this panel, it's revealed that Sagal had an affair with Singh.
| In this headline, Sagal's wife divorces him over his affair with Singh.
| This paper references a protest at {{w|UC Davis}} (on the campus of University of California, Davis) in early 2012 in which sitting, peaceful protesters were calmly pepper-sprayed in their faces by a police officer. That spawned an [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/casually-pepper-spray-everything-cop internet meme of epic proportions].
|Exchanging cash for tote bags is typically legal, so the headline noting a "scandal" implies that Sagal and his associates were doing something less savory in addition to selling/buying tote bags.
|-
! scope="row" | Row 4
| There are many ethical and philosophical concerns about cloning, and so it makes sense that a prominent figure like Sagal might come out against it, especially if his DNA was harvested without his consent.
| This headline is a reference to the movie ''{{w|Ghostbusters}}'', in which a team of scientists is tasked with capturing and "busting" malicious ghosts.
| This paper is a reference to {{w|Granny Weatherwax}} of Terry Pratchett's ''{{w|Discworld}}'' novels; Granny Weatherwax is a witch who carries a sign saying "[https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=i%20aten't%20ded I ATEN'T DED]"[sic] while having out-of-body experiences.
| Objectifying people is generally frowned upon as it can be harmful and demeaning, and this headline plays on that, referencing how someone might describe their experience with objectification as being reduced to a piece of meat.
|-
! scope="row" | Row 5
| {{w|Beatification}}, not to be confused with {{w|beautification}}, is a religious process that recognizes the entry of a deceased person into heaven and their ability to intercede on behalf of others who pray in their name. This process is usually reserved for especially holy individuals, so it is unlikely that Sagal would be beatified. Additionally, it is usually viewed as a great honor, so Sagal's objection is unusual.
| This paper references an internet meme in which someone leaves out the verb in the sentence. The implication is that the verb is something bad, but ''which'' bad thing is left as an exercise to stew in the reader's mind. See the [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-accidentally I Accidentally ___ meme] for more information.
| This paper is a reference to stories and myths in which an entity known as an {{tvtropes|EldritchAbomination|Eldritch Abomination}} can be summoned, awoken, or alerted to someone's presence when its name is spoken. A well-known example of this is the entity Cthulhu in the Lovecraft mythos.
|''This American Life'' is a weekly public radio podcast which has a different theme each week and puts together a collection of stories on said topic. ''Wait Wait'' is usually treated as a fun, low-stakes game, so the "trauma" of losing is unclear.
|}

Two years later another New Years comic, [[1311: 2014]], took a similar look at what could happen in 2014, just as this does for 2012. Interesting enough the title of that comic (just the year it was looking at) is more related to the title of the next comic after this one, which is also a New Year comic, and the title is also just the number of the year: [[998: 2012]].

==Transcript==
:Headlines
:Stockpiled in case Peter Sagal, host of NPR's ''Wait Wait Don't Tell Me'', does something newsworthy in 2012.
:[A series of above-the-fold newspapers follows. Each has a headline and a blurb, and most have a picture.]
:[First row, first newspaper.]
:Title: Wait Wait Don't Shoot Me
:NPR's Sagal in Whole Foods hostage standoff.
:[A fierce Peter Sagal in a balaclava brandishes a gun in a supermarket.]

:[First row, second newspaper.]
:Title: Wait Wait Don't Vote For Me
:Peter Sagal quits race for GOP top spot
:[A sullen and defeated Peter Sagal surrounded by supporters admits defeat.]

:[First row, third newspaper.]
:Title: Wait Wait Don't Judge Me
:Sagal opens up about his Kermit fantasy.
:[Stock profile images of Peter Sagal and Kermit the Frog.]

:[First row, fourth newspaper.]
:Title: Wait Wait Don't Fire Me
:Peter Sagal let go after racist tirade.
:[Stock profile image of Peter Sagal.]

:[Second row, first newspaper.]
:Title: Wait Wait Don't Cancel Me
:NPR axing news quiz.
:[NPR spokesperson delivering announcement.]

:[Second row, second newspaper.]
:Title: Wait Wait Don't Interrupt Me
:Sagal stabs Carl Kasell in on-air dispute.
:[Peter Sagal mid-attack with a knife.]

:[Second row, third newspaper.]
:Title: Wait Wait Don't Look At Me
:Peter Sagal's Poison Ivy Ordeal
:[Peter Sagal with a skin condition.]
:Peter Sagal: "My 'Nam"

:[Second row, fourth newspaper.]
:Title: Wait Wait Don't Friend Me
:Peter Sagal deletes his Facebook account.
:[Person holding up a laptop with a "Facebook account not found" screen.]

:[Third row, first newspaper.]
:Title: Wait Wait Don't Seduce Me
:How Lakshmi Singh stole Sagal's Heart.
:[A wistful Lakshmi Singh being left by a sullen Peter Sagal.]

:[Third row, second newspaper.]
:Title: Wait Wait Don't Leave Me
:Sagal's wife out after affair
:[A wistful Peter Sagal being left by a furious Beth Sagal.]

:[Third row, third newspaper.]
:Title: Wait Wait Don't Spray Me
:Police Raid Sagal's Occupy NPR protest
:[Scummy policeman in riot gear spraying Peter Sagal in the face point blank.]

:[Third row, fourth newspaper.]
:Title: Wait Wait Don't Indict Me
:Sagal, five others named in cash-for-tote-bags scandal
:[Peter Sagal doing a perp walk.]

:[Fourth row, first newspaper.]
:Title: Wait Wait Don't Clone Me
:Peter Sagal 'Outraged' over DNA harvesting.
:[Fiery Peter Sagal, missing a small amount of DNA, at a lectern.]

:[Fourth row, second newspaper.]
:Title: Wait Wait Don't Bust Me
:Peter Sagal's ghost captured
:[Ghostbusters, careful not to cross the streams, capture the ghost of Peter Sagal.]

:[Fourth row, third newspaper.]
:Title: Wait Wait Don't Dissect Me
:Snoozing Sagal nearly snuffed in autopsy snafu
:[Peter Sagal running away from from a very surprised pathologist.]
:Peter Sagal: "I aten't dead"

:[Fourth row, fourth newspaper.]
:Title: Wait Wait Don't Objectify Me
:Peter Sagal is more than just a piece of meat
:[No image]

:[Fifth row, first newspaper.]
:Title: Wait Wait Don't Beatify Me
:Peter Sagal Rebukes Pope
:[Peter Sagal shakes his fist at a picture of the pope.]

:[Fifth row, second newspaper.]
:Title: Wait Wait Don't Me
:Peter Sagal Accidentally
:[Peter Sagal on a blank background upside-down.]

:[Fifth row, third newspaper.]
:Title: Wait Wait Don't Speak Its Name
:Peter Sagal wakes Eldritch terror
:[A pair of eyes on a black background.]
:Peter Sagal:"AAAAAAAA"

:[Fifth row, fourth newspaper.]
:Title: Wait Wait Even For NPR This Is A Bit Much
:''This American Life'' to document the road to recovery for those who suffer the trauma of losing on Wait Wait
:[No image]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:New Year]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Ghostbusters]]
[[Category:Ghosts]]

3215: Solar Warning

2026-03-04T14:55:39Z

Amateurautist: added a transcript

{{comic
| number = 3215
| date = March 4, 2026
| title = Solar Warning
| image = solar_warning_2x.png
| imagesize = 304x333px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = This replaces the previous solar activity watch, which was issued last month when the sun took off its sunglasses.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[Blondie stands at a table with her hands together, resting her arms on the table. Behind her are two pictures of the sun: one with a smiling face, labeled "Last week," and one with a frowning face labeled "Today."]
:Blondie: A warning for solar flares and geomagnetic storms has been issued after new images from the Solar and Heliospheric Observatory show that the big smiley face on the sun has turned into a frown.
{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

1010: Etymology-Man

2026-03-02T17:57:09Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 1010
| date = January 30, 2012
| title = Etymology-Man
| image = etymology_man.png
| titletext = I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish Aquaman were here instead--HE'D be able to help.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic was followed two comics later by [[1012: Wrong Superhero]]. This comic is a take on the traditional appearance of a superhero when a disaster strikes. In this case, Etymology-Man arrives, who apparently has the power of {{w|Etymology}}, the study of the history of words, their origins, and how their form and meaning have changed over time. As Etymology-Man is explaining the history of the words "{{w|tsunami}}" and "tidal wave", referencing the {{w|2004 Indian Ocean tsunami}}, the {{w|2011 Tōhoku tsunami}} and the {{w|1755 Lisbon earthquake}} and tsunami, the water starts rising around them. As the waters continue to rise, he continues to only explain the words, rather than attempting to save them as a superhero should. This, intentionally or unintentionally, is a dig at academics who prefer to talk about issues when taking action is more appropriate.

Etymology-Man's explanation in the comic focuses on the historical and linguistic reasons for the use of the term "tidal wave" instead of "tsunami." While "tidal wave" is often corrected as a misnomer, Etymology-Man argues that its historical usage may not have been entirely misguided. He points out that early accounts of large waves, such as those from the 1755 Lisbon earthquake and tsunami, described their behavior as resembling a rapid and turbulent tide rather than a breaking wave. This distinction aligns with modern understandings of tsunamis as inrushing surges of water rather than surf-like waves. The 1755 Lisbon earthquake and tsunami devastated much of Lisbon and other coastal regions, with eyewitness accounts describing the ocean withdrawing and then rushing back violently, which could have influenced the term "tidal wave" to describe this tidal-like phenomenon. Etymology-Man suggests that instead of being rooted in scientific confusion, "tidal wave" might have been a descriptive term reflecting the wave's observable form. Furthermore, he notes that before the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami and the 2011 Tōhoku tsunami, clear photographic or video evidence of tsunamis was rare. This lack of visual records likely contributed to misconceptions about their appearance, with some imagining tsunamis as tall, surfable waves. The widespread coverage of these modern events clarified that tsunamis are more like fast-moving, chaotic floods, further validating historical descriptions that likened them to tides. Etymology-Man's argument underlines the importance of understanding linguistic evolution and context, suggesting that the rush to replace "tidal wave" with "tsunami" might have overlooked the historical accuracy of the former term in certain respects. While he acknowledges that "tsunami" is now the accepted term, his lecture encourages a nuanced view of language history, even in the face of imminent danger.

Also, the title text is a play on how useless {{w|Aquaman}} is (perceived to be) compared to other superheroes, as his powers — breathing underwater, speed swimming, and communicating with sea life — are very difficult for writers to make relevant, since most stories do not take place underwater.{{Citation needed}} Indeed, in the case of a flood, Aquaman and his aquatic allies would be able to assist with evacuations. (Some depictions of Aquaman do not have control of water itself. Though when equipped with his mystical trident, or magical prosthetic "water hand", could probably also perform useful hydrokinesis to avert significant damage.)

The irony of the situation comes from the fact that Etymology-Man seemingly has the power of flight and could in fact save Cueball and Ponytail if he was not so busy talking about the origin of the word "tidal wave".

Inexplicable is the fact that Cueball and Ponytail both know exactly who this "superhero" is, and ergo presumably realize that what he is telling them is useless, but they don't even attempt to get to safety. There are few possible explanations for this: perhaps they are simply accepting their fate instead of trying to escape, or even that learning cool word facts takes precedence over saving their own lives, or they have been distracted by Etymology-Man's lecture and were caught by surprise by the fast tidal wave.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Ponytail are facing each other, with wavy lines around them to indicate they are experiencing the shaking of an earthquake.]
:Cueball: Earthquake!
:Ponytail: We should get to a higher ground - There could be a tidal wave.

:[A frame-less panel with Cueball and Ponytail, with Cueball taking a pedantic pose and raising a finger.]
:Cueball: You mean a tsunami. "Tidal wave" means a wave caused by tides.

:[A crash is heard, followed by Etymology-Man flying in while wearing a cape.]
:Etymology-man: You know, that doesn't add up.
:Cueball and Ponytail: Etymology-man!

:[Etymology-man takes a pedantic pose.]
:Etymology-man: What ''does'' "tidal wave" mean? There are waves caused by tides, but they're "tidal bores", and they're not cataclysmic.
:It can refer to the daily tide cycle, but that's obviously not what people mean when they say "a tidal wave hit".
:It's been obvious for centuries that these waves come from quakes. So why "tidal"?

:[Panel zooms in on Etymology-man.]
:Etymology-man: Remember that until 2004, there weren't any clear photos or videos of tsunamis. Some modern writers even described them rearing up and breaking like surfing waves [sic]
:Of course, in 2004 and 2011, it was made clear to everyone that a tsunami is more like a rapid, turbulent, inrushing tide - exactly what historical accounts describe.

:[Water begins to rush in. Etymology-man has dropped his arms by his side.]
:Etymology-man: Maybe those writing about Lisbon in 1755 used "tidal wave" not out of scientific confusion, but because it described the wave's form — a description lost in our rush to expunge "tidal wave" from English.

:[The water is now waist-deep. Etymology-man resumes his pedantic pose and continues to drone on, but the others start to panic.]
:Etymology-man: "Tsunami" is now the standard, and I'm not trying to change that. But let's be a tad less giddy about correcting "tidal wave" - especially when "tsunami" just means "harbor wave", which is hardly...

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Earthquakes]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Pedantic]]
[[Category:Etymology-Man]]

3198: Double-Pronged Extension Cord

2026-02-26T18:54:38Z

Amateurautist:

{{comic
| number = 3198
| date = January 23, 2026
| title = Double-Pronged Extension Cord
| image = double_pronged_extension_cord_2x.png
| imagesize = 698x267px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'Oh, and can I borrow 50 sacks of loose flour, a pile of lithium-ion batteries, a bucket of bleach, and a bucket of vinega--' 'NO!!!!!!'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by THE EXTENSION CORD FROM COMIC #[[509]]. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

This comic begins with [[Cueball]] approaching [[Ponytail]] at her desk, asking to borrow an {{w|extension cord}} with prongs at both ends. Ponytail is horrified by the idea because this design of extension cord, often nicknamed as a {{wiktionary|suicide cable}}, is [https://www.consumerreports.org/home-garden/generators/why-suicide-extension-cords-are-so-dangerous-a1189731437/ lethally dangerous] (though it does have some occasional practical uses). It is, at the very least, likely to cause a short circuit and quite possibly a fire when misused, if not pose a more direct electrocution threat to people.

Ponytail seems to relax when she persuades Cueball to use a regular extension cord instead, but he then elaborates that, rather than wanting the cord to carry electricity, he actually intends to use it as some kind of support prop. He thinks the plug prongs at each end are suitable for fixing the cable between two nearby wall-sockets, anchoring the cable as a makeshift tether to support something even more dangerous: a neutron reflector above a {{w|plutonium}} core. Based on his description, his setup appears to be a recreation of Louis Slotin's infamous "{{w|demon core}}" or "tickling the dragon's tail" experiment, with the extension cord replacing Slotin's flat-head screwdriver, an experiment {{w|Slotin#Criticality accident|that proved fatal for Slotin}}. Understandably, this horrifies Ponytail even more.

This is the third comic to reference the "demon core" experiment, after [[1242: Scary Names]] and [[2593: Deviled Eggs]].

The title text innocently mentions other severe hazards (though arguably none as serious as the radiation hazard).
* Loose flour is a well known fire hazard and the key to a {{w|Dust explosion|flour-air explosion}}; 50 bags of it, plus some way to get it into the air, could blow up a sizable building.
* Lithium batteries are well-known fire hazards when overcharged, which is why airport security restricts them from checked luggage. There have been numerous fires caused by the lithium batteries in "hoverboards", leading to them often being banned in cities and airports, and by retailers who might otherwise sell them. A pile of them might be overkill, but if charged in parallel (series probably wouldn't work as well), could cause a noticeable explosion or fire once one of them hit its limit.
* While vinegar and bleach aren't a particular fire hazard by themselves, when combined they do release chlorine gas, which is lethal.

''Any'' acid will tend to liberate chlorine from bleach, though vinegar is a relatively dilute solution of a weak acid (acetic acid). Other acidic household cleaning products, such as drain cleaners, would be much more dangerous to combine with bleach, but generally come with explicit warnings about avoiding this. In contrast, a bucket of vinegar (while an unusual request, in this particular case) could present the same kind of threat, albeit at a lower level, without being commonly associated with that danger. As such, the theme of the title text appears to be "innocuous-appearing supplies which are actually quite hazardous". Ponytail, being both a more knowledgeable person ''and'' intimately familiar with [[:Category:Cueball's computer problems|Cueball's error prone nature]], easily imagines enough of the various unfortunate circumstances that could arise, possibly [[2950: Situation|in combination]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
:[Cueball is approaching Ponytail, who is sitting at a desk with a laptop, from off-screen.]
:Cueball: Do you have an extension cord with prongs at both ends? Can I borrow it?
:Ponytail: '''''No!!!'''''

:[Close up of Ponytail raising her arms in an exasperated fashion]
:Ponytail: No one should '''''ever''''' buy or make those!
:Ponytail: They start fires, destroy equipment, and risk electrocuting you or grid workers!
:Cueball: OK, OK, I get it.

:[The view zooms back out, showing Ponytail handing Cueball an extension cord.]
:Cueball: Can I just borrow a regular cord, then?
:Ponytail: Sure. Here.
:Cueball: The prongs aren't important. I just thought they'd help anchor it to the wall.
:Ponytail: Wait, what are you-

:[Cueball is walking away from Ponytail, who sits at her desk with her hands to her head.]
:Cueball: I need it to help hold up the top half of the reflector for this plutonium core that I'm-
:Ponytail: '''''AAAAAAAA!!!!'''''

==Trivia==
Two days before this comic's publication, Randall Munroe released an xkcd "What-If?" video on YouTube, [https://youtu.be/s3oLIDaElaE "How long would you survive with no DNA?"], which ''might'' be related to this comic, as it suggests that the hypothetical instantaneous removal of all of a person's DNA would be similar in its effects to those of receiving a massive dose of ionizing radiation. Slotin's accident was one of the most notable such events known.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Chemistry]]

3170: Service Outage

2026-02-26T18:53:29Z

Amateurautist:

{{comic
| number = 3170
| date = November 19, 2025
| title = Service Outage
| image = service_outage_2x.png
| imagesize = 376x364px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Now, if it were the *Canon* wiki, it's possible to imagine someone with a productivity-related reason for consulting it, but no one's job requires them to read that much about Admiral Daala.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic compares the effects that different internet service outages can have on people's {{w|productivity}}. When the service is essential to someone's work, their productivity will clearly go down. They may initially be able to switch to alternative tasks, but the longer the outage goes on, the more of their task stack will be blocked and the less they will be able to accomplish. However, if the service (such as the {{w|Star Wars Legends}} wiki) is non-essential, their productivity improves, implying that without access to the service they are less distracted and get more work done.

The title text makes a distinction between the productivity effects of the {{w|Canon (fiction)|canon}} and non-canon {{w|Star Wars}} wikis. (In reality Wookieepedia, the main Star Wars wiki, covers both the Canon and Legends continuity.) A writer or editor for a forthcoming Star Wars product may have a work-related reason to review a wiki containing Star Wars canon, in order to ensure consistency with the work they are developing. Star Wars Legends, on the other hand, have been considered non-canon since 2014. While a fanfiction author {{tvtropes|FanonDiscontinuity|might have a reason to peruse information regarding the Legends continuity}}, there are vanishingly few people lucky enough that "writing fanfiction" can be considered "productivity" in any meaningful way. The character of [https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Natasi_Daala Admiral] [https://villains.fandom.com/wiki/Natasi_Daala Daala] is well documented, but a relatively niche line of interest.

This comic was posted the day after a major worldwide outage at {{w|Cloudflare}}, a major {{w|content delivery network}} (CDN) whose failure affected this very site (among many others). This outage followed outages a few weeks before at {{w|Microsoft Azure}} and {{w|Amazon Web Services}}, which provide {{w|cloud computing}} services, and fifteen months since {{w|2024 CrowdStrike-related IT outages|another significant outage}}. These aren't sites that most non-technical users are directly familiar with, but they provide infrastructure for many popular web sites, so their failures have wide-ranging impacts even for those who had been previously unaware of their role in their online life. For example, popular websites such as Netflix, Spotify, and Pinterest were affected by the AWS outage. The same day as the Cloudflare outage, there was also a {{w|Github}} outage; this site is used mainly to support software development.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
:[A graph of "Productivity when a major internet service goes down" over time]
:[The productivity line starts at average. A point in time is labelled 'outage begins']
:[After that, the line splits into two lines: one labelled "People whose work relies on the service". It drops off semi-sharply before leveling out much lower than the starting point.]
:[The second line is labelled "People whose work doesn't rely on the service". It jumps a little and stays roughly constant after.]
:[The second line is illustrated by Cueball seated at a desk, using a laptop computer. A thought bubble says: "Aw man, the outage took down the Star Wars Legends wiki."]

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]

326: Effect an Effect

2026-02-24T16:07:36Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 326
| date = October 8, 2007
| title = Effect an Effect
| image = effect_an_effect.png
| titletext = Time to paint another grammarian silhouette on the side of the desktop.
}}

==Explanation==
[http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/affect "Affect"] and [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/effect "effect"] can each both be a noun and a verb, share the sense of ''influence'', and they are often confused with each other. (See the usage note under "Affect.")

In careful speech, both words (as verbs) are similar but not identical. "Affect" is /əˈfɛkt/ (or uh-'''fekt''') and "effect" is /ɪˈfɛkt/ (or ih-'''fekt'''). However, for people with the {{w|Phonological history of English close front vowels#Weak vowel merger|weak vowel merger}}, these words are {{w|homophones}} — it's also explained here: [http://www.writingforward.com/grammar/homophones/homophones-affect-vs-effect homophones affect vs effect].

"Effect" is usually a noun, meaning ''a result'', and "affect" usually a verb, meaning ''to act upon''. "Effect" as a verb has the slightly different meaning ''to bring about''. [[Cueball]] says that the foreign policy ''causes'' the situation, not, as the "grammar nazi" thinks, that it ''changes'' the situation.

The title of the comic translates to ''cause or bring about a result'', which is just what Cueball does! It can also be seen as a play on words, being similar to the phrase "cause and effect."

The title text refers to the {{w|Victory marking}} practice common among fighter pilots in a war zone. Fighter pilots who score a "kill" on an opposing aircraft will have a silhouette of the downed plane painted on the side of their plane as a way of keeping track of kills. In this sense, Cueball "shot down," figuratively speaking, an online (grammar) nazi, and would mark it by painting a silhouette on the side of his computer.

See also [[1429: Data]].

==Transcript==
:My Hobby:
:Using the more obscure meanings of "affect" and "effect" to try to trip up amateur grammar Nazis.
:[Cueball is sitting at his desk in front of a computer.]
:Cueball, via Computer: I think that our foreign policy effects the situation.
:Amateur Grammar Nazi, via Computer: You mean "affects."
:Cueball: tee hee hee

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:My Hobby]]
[[Category:Language]]

3211: Amperage

2026-02-24T14:42:39Z

Amateurautist: added a transcript

{{comic
| number = 3211
| date = February 23, 2026
| title = Amperage
| image = amperage_2x.png
| imagesize = 299x410px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Oh, and do you have any tips on how to vacuum up copper that's melted into your carpet?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a 1.2 MEGAWATT SIMILE. Don't remove this notice too soon please.}}
[[Cueball]] explains to [[Ponytail]] how he has modified some parts of his house's wiring to avoid having power to his appliances interrupted on account of overcurrent conditions from running too many appliances at once. In many places around the world there is a main breaker limiting the maximum current available to properties, with common limits being 60A, 100A or 200A. Individual circuits will then have breakers limiting the maximum current, usually to something between 10 and 32 amperes. 15-20A is a common breaker size for circuits powering outlets in the US; 32A is the common breaker size in the UK; and 10-16A is standard in mainland Europe. However, Cueball is somehow managing to draw 10,000 amps from his power company, and has also updated his breaker board to allow his wall sockets to draw 500 amps of power. Both numbers are absurdly high — far more than any consumer appliance could need, and, as Cueball soon admits, enough power to cause fire hazards. This is also emphasized in the title text, which shows that Cueball has actually tried out his new arrangement and it has melted the copper inside the cables and outlets onto the carpet, and he is now looking for ways to clean it up.

Cueball's reasoning for this is equally absurd: he is frustrated by his {{w|circuit breaker}}s. Circuit breakers exist to prevent more current than is expected from flowing through wires. A tripped breaker is caused by either a short circuit down the line or by the user trying to draw too much power at once. A tripped circuit breaker is an easy fix, but it means whatever you were trying to power on that circuit has been interrupted, which is apparently too much for Cueball. Also, simply resetting the breaker may leave the underlying problem unaddressed, resulting in the breaker repeatedly tripping. Preventing a circuit breaker from tripping, either by soldering wire into the {{w|fusebox}} in place of the fuses or (in Cueball's case) by placing breakers rated at excessively high amperages, defeats this safety mechanism, meaning a fault such as a short circuit is much more likely to become a house fire. The end result is that Cueball has designed an extremely dangerous system with a high level of overkill in order to enable more of his own mistakes and prevent minor nuisances from slowing him down.

Additionally, while Cueball has stated he has changed the service he receives from the local utility company and the ratings of his breakers, he has ''not'' stated he has changed the wiring in his house to the outlets. Typical wires for outlets in the US are between 14 and 10 AWG, rated between 15 and 30 amps. In the UK it would likely be a Twin Core and Earth 2.5mm² cable rated for 32A. By drawing anywhere near 500 amps, he will, as he has discovered, most likely melt the wires both inside his walls and inside his appliances and start a fire, even if there is no fault. Rather than treat this as a sign that his plan was ill-conceived and simply put up with normal levels of power, though, Cueball is now trying to find more durable cords and wires that can handle the excessive load.

The amount of electrical power you can use in your house depends on both the voltage and the maximum current you're allowed to draw. The latter is usually protected and limited by multiple breakers both in your home and at the local substation. For example, in the US, where the nominal voltage is 120V, a 15A breaker would get you a maximum of 1800 watts of power (current multiplied by the voltage). In countries where 230V is more common, a similarly sized breaker would get you a maximum of around 3500 watts. If you decrease the voltage you can still get the same power by increasing the current drawn. For example, to get 3500 watts in the US on 120V, you would need to draw around 30A - double the original amount. Higher currents induce higher resistance in lines, meaning they would need a larger wire to safely draw the power without them overheating and catching fire. Transmission lines solve the problem by transforming the power to a higher voltage (a 400kV (400,000 volts) line transmitting a maximum of 10 amps can still theoretically give out 4 million watts of power without needing excessively thick cables). Conversely, decreasing the voltage means that you need more current drawn for the same amount of power (for example, to get 3500 watts from a 12V car battery you need to draw almost 300 amperes, something that would need really thick wires not to overheat). Assuming Cueball lives in the US with 120V mains voltage, his 10,000A will draw 1.2 megawatts of power, equivalent to the usage of a factory or other large facility.

The comic might be a reference to a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC7sNfNuTNU recent video posted by youtuber styropyro], who connects 400 car batteries and does various experiments, including [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYtCJYhCyzs popping a 6,000 amp fuse]. While the voltage on car batteries is only 12V (or 24V in some cases), they allow drawing very high amounts of current to provide enough power for the starter engine to turn. Drawing 500 amps and more for a short period of time is not uncommon. While these would only amount to around 6kW of power (12V * 500A), the higher current requires the cabling to be thick enough to not overheat even in the short amount of time this draw is used (until the starter engine has turned on the main engine — on a modern car in warm weather this should be around a second at most). In the video, styropyro is connecting 400 of these, which would allow both a higher voltage (when connecting them in series) and a higher current draw (when connecting them in parallel), which he uses to get the desired setup for his experiments. He uses not just very thick cables but also large pieces of thick metal as well to make sure the setup itself doesn't break because of the high currents involved.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[Cueball and Ponytail are standing near the corner of a room, with Type B outlets on either wall surrounding the corner at about knee height. Cueball has raised one hand slightly to gesture to one of the outlets.]
:Cueball: I got 10,000 amp service and put each outlet on its own 500 amp breaker, so I never have to worry about overloading a circuit again!
:Ponytail: Clever.
:Cueball: Oh, that reminds me- do you know where to buy cords that don't catch fire?
{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

3210: Eliminating the Impossible

2026-02-23T18:07:02Z

Amateurautist:

{{comic
| number = 3210
| date = February 20, 2026
| title = Eliminating the Impossible
| image = eliminating_the_impossible_2x.png
| imagesize = 675x349px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'If you've eliminated a few possibilities and you can't think of any others, your weird theory is proven right' isn't quite as rhetorically compelling.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was FOUND IN THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOKED. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

The discussion in this comic plays upon the [https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/1196-when-you-have-eliminated-all-which-is-impossible-then-whatever phrase] originating from the fictional detective {{w|Sherlock Holmes}} (and therefore also his author, {{w|Arthur Conan Doyle}}) that "When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." This describes the {{w|abductive reasoning}} Holmes uses to solve the crimes and mysteries set before him. The point of the original statement is that {{tvtropes|RealityIsUnrealistic|something being ''unlikely'' does not make it ''untrue''}}, and ignoring reality because it is "unlikely" is both absurd and counterproductive to the process of solving a problem. However, Holmes' statement is a [https://motleybytes.com/w/HolmesianFallacy fallacy], because nobody is omniscient[{{w|omniscience|no citation needed}}], so it is impossible to rule out all alternatives.

In the real world, it is ''never'' true that eliminating the impossible leaves only a single possible outcome. There are always vast numbers of events that are technically possible, but so vastly improbable that they would be unlikely to ever be observed, even if every subatomic particle in the universe were a universe itself, and were to be observed from Big Bang to heat death. An example would be {{w|quantum tunnelling}} of a macroscopic object over a long distance... such as a set of keys from inside a house out to a car. In practice, such events are usually dismissed from consideration.

[[White Hat]] is expounding this principle to [[Cueball]] as a logical step for some undisclosed purpose. Cueball argues that human error - namely, making a mistake in the 'elimination' process - is also possible, and claims that the logic is faulty on this premise. When White Hat points out that the logic is just a guideline for problem-solving, Cueball argues that the possibility of human error when operating on this logic makes the approach unsound. If there is one true version of events, then finding it by this process requires classifying all other possibilities as impossible. While that might be possible for a constrained problem, like a detective story or multi-option question, many daily situations require eliminating vast numbers of possibilities, while lacking sufficient information to be truly sure that the possibilities have been exhausted.

In the final panel, Cueball demonstrates a practical example of human error causing this issue. When a person is looking for their possessions, their first instinct may be to search the house in which they presently are. Having seemingly exhausted this search, their assumption may be that it must be in their mode of transportation (especially in the case of possessions that are regularly brought to and from other locations). White Hat agrees that he himself has been in the situation where he has searched the entire house, not found what he is looking for, and assumed it is in the car, but that assumption has always proved to be wrong. There are other possibilities, but the tendency to jump to conclusions (possibly by misuse of the quote) can lead to those being ignored. Additional possibilities:
* The house has not been fully searched, with the item left in some obscured corner, a clothing pocket that is in the laundry, or even a vent or pipe that one could not practically access.
* The searcher forgets that they took the item to some other location, or wishfully ignores that possibility because it is far away and/or inconvenient to search.
* The searcher never brought the item home in the first place, but mistakenly thought that they did.
* The searcher has never taken the item anywhere other than the house or car, but is unaware that someone or something else moved it.
* It is common for people to fail to see a thing even though it is present, sometimes even clearly in view, because of momentary cognitive glitching, {{w|The Purloined Letter|poor assumptions}}, or more fundamental cognitive failures such as {{w|visual agnosia}}. Another Holmes quotation is relevant: "[https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/205730-you-see-but-you-do-not-observe You see, but you do not observe.]"
* The item may have been destroyed or altered in a way that makes it unrecognizable when found.

The title text goes further in deconstructing how the quote might result in a logically incorrect {{w|argument from ignorance}}. In fiction, there is a {{tvtropes|TheoryOfNarrativeCausality|Law of Narrative Causality}}, by which events are successfully resolved in the way that the plot requires them to be resolved. Stating this approach as a logical rule would normally be {{tvtropes|LampshadeHanging|narratively unsatisfying}}. When Sherlock Holmes first uses the phrase in ''The Sign of the Four'', he "deduces" that Watson had sent a telegram at the post office instead of doing anything else by observing that he had not written a letter and that he already had a good stock of postcards and stamps. Holmes neglects the possibility that Watson had sent a letter that he had written sometime previously, or any other possibility, yet he happens to be right because it would be unsatisfying were he to be wrong. As has been pointed out elsewhere in Holmesian works, however, Holmes knows Watson very well, and when it comes to a matter as narrow in scope as "Watson's behaviour", Holmes is better-equipped than most to eliminate impossibilities.

Sherlock may have more accurately, yet less memorably, phrased the maxim as "When you have eliminated what is likely, the truth must be a more improbable outcome".

In ''The Long Dark Tea-time of the Soul,'' Douglas Adams commented on this Holmesian maxim:<blockquote>'The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it which the merely improbable lacks. How often have you been presented with an apparently rational explanation of something that works in all respects other than one, which is just that it is hopelessly improbable? Your instinct is to say, "Yes, but he or she simply wouldn't do that." '

'Well, it happened to me today, in fact,' replied Kate.

'Ah, yes,' said Dirk, slapping the table and making the glasses jump, 'your girl in the wheelchair [who was constantly mumbling stock prices from the day before]—a perfect example. The idea that she is somehow receiving yesterday's stock market prices out of thin air is merely impossible, and therefore ''must'' be the case, because the idea that she is maintaining an immensely complex and laborious hoax of no benefit to herself is hopelessly improbable. The first idea merely supposes that there is something we don't know about, and God knows there are enough of those. The second, however, runs contrary to something fundamental and human which we do know about. We should therefore be very suspicious of it and all its specious rationality.'</blockquote>

This time Cueball might have a point, since, if one really investigates Sherlock Holmes' cases, they often contain obvious mistakes, like most of "The Hound of the Baskervilles" or the solution of "The Adventure of the Speckled Band". In the latter he claims that the only solution is that someone trained a snake to be controlled by music to bite and kill someone without being attacked, claiming to have eliminated all other solutions in a real-world scenario which is too complex to allow for that, without even having taken a closer look at the bigger picture.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[White Hat and Cueball are standing together and talking. White Hat has one hand slightly raised.]
:White Hat: As Sherlock Holmes said,
:White Hat: When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

:[Close-up of Cueball's head.]
:Cueball: What about the possibility that you forgot to eliminate a possibility?
:Cueball: Or that you eliminated one incorrectly?
:Cueball: Both of those remain, too.

:[Zoom back out to show both. Cueball holds his arms out.]
:White Hat: You're being pedantic.
:White Hat: It's just a general rule for deduction.
:Cueball: But it's a '''''bad rule.'''''

:[Cueball holds up one finger.]
:Cueball: How often have you thought, "I can't find this thing, and I've searched the whole house. The only place I haven't looked is the car, so it '''''must''''' be there."
:White Hat: ...and then it's never in the car.
:Cueball: '''''It's never in the car!'''''

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Pedantic]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Logic]]
[[Category:Fiction]]

1507: Metaball

2026-02-23T18:04:40Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 1507
| date = April 3, 2015
| title = Metaball
| image = metaball.png
| titletext = Shoot, it landed in the golf course. Gonna be hard to get it down the--oh, never mind, it rolled onto the ice hazard. Face-off!
}}

==Explanation==
In the first two panels of this game [[Megan]] kicks a {{w|Ball (association football)|football}} (also known as a {{w|association football|soccer}} ball in some regions), but the surprise comes in the next panel when it turns out she tried to kick it into a {{w|basketball}} hoop where Cueball is either trying to catch, stop or dunk the ball. [[Hairbun]] is also reaching an arm up after the ball. But then [[Ponytail]] yells "'''''Out!'''''". When Megan asks Ponytail why the ball is out, Ponytail explains it is due to the ''{{w|infield fly rule}}'' that was invoked when the ball crossed into the {{w|baseball}} zone - a very complicated rule to understand for baseball outsiders.

They are playing a {{w|ball game}} that incorporates the rules of many {{w|List of ball games|games that use a ball}}. The rules seem to be based on the location of the {{w|ball}}. Ponytail is holding a map which divides the area into zones. Each time the ball enters a new zone, the rules change to become the rules of the ball game represented in that zone.

The name "Metaball" is the combination of the prefix "{{w|meta}}" and the word "{{w|ball}}". Not long before this comic there was another comic with "meta" in the title: [[1447: Meta-Analysis]]. The entire joke ''is meta'' in [[917: Hofstadter]].

Megan is out according to the rules of baseball, because the football that she initially kicked in the football zone in an attempt to score in the basketball hoop (in the basketball zone), clipped the corner of the baseball zone. And suddenly her high kick turned into a {{w|Batted ball|pop fly}} and Ponytail (presumably the referee (and creator/ruler) of this game) invoked the infield fly rule which forces the batter out. In this case that would be the kicker Megan as she is the last to have touched the ball.

In baseball the infield fly rule can be invoked by the {{w|umpire}} (i.e. the referee in baseball, Ponytail in this case), to prevent an {{w|infielder}} from intentionally dropping a fair ball when runners are on multiple bases, forcing the runners on base to advance and allowing the infielder's team to quickly perform a double or triple play by throwing the ball to where the runners are trying to get and performing force out on their base. The infield fly rule, once called out by the umpire, forces the batter to be out whether or not the infielder tries to get the batter out. While complicated, and difficult for outsider to understand, the rule has been in baseball for a long time and makes sense in context.

The title text continues the comic. After Megan is ruled out, even though Cueball misses the catch, the ball now enters the {{w|golf}} section of the field, meaning that the players would have to hit the ball into a golf hole to score. Given that the ball is much larger than a standard golf ball, this would prove difficult. However, before they get this far, the situation changes as the ball rolls into a separate section of the field called the ice hazard.

On a golf course a {{w|Hazard (golf)|hazard}} is either a {{w|Hazard_(golf)#Bunker|bunker}} (with sand) or a {{w|/Hazard_(golf)#Water_hazard|water hazard}}. If the latter type freezes over it could be called an ice hazard. However, in this Metaball game this section of the course is apparently used to play some form of {{w|ice hockey}}. And since the game has been held up when Megan was called out, they will now have to restart the game with a {{w|face-off}} (a skirmish between two players of opposing teams to restart the game). It can be argued that an ice hockey {{w|Hockey puck|puck}} can be considered a ball, since ice hockey has evolved from, and is a variation of, older stick-and-ball games. And since they play both baseball, basketball and golf with the association football, they could also continue playing ice hockey with this ball instead of a puck.

For the record there are several other versions of {{w|hockey}} that are played with a ball ({{w|ball hockey}} for instance) and at least one of these is played on ice (see {{w|broomball}}). In these games face-offs are also used. It seems likely that [[Randall]] has chosen some of the most popular sports of the US - and then used a soccer/football instead of an {{w|Football_(ball)#American_and_Canadian_football|American football}}.

Given the timing of this comic with {{w|NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Championship|the US collegiate basketball tournament}}, we may assume Randall is writing as a response to that. He has previously given an opinion on sports (see for instance [[904: Sports]], [[1107: Sports Cheat Sheet]] and [[1480: Super Bowl]]).

This concept is very similar to [http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1990/05/27 Calvinball] from the comic strip ''{{w|Calvin and Hobbes}}'' by American cartoonist {{w|Bill Watterson}}.

In computer graphics, metaballs, also known as blobby objects, are organic-looking n-dimensional isosurfaces, characterised by their ability to meld together when in close proximity to create single, contiguous objects.

==Transcript==
:[Megan runs towards a bouncing soccer football.]

:[Megan kicks the soccer football upwards.]

:[Cueball leaps towards the ball as it falls towards a basketball hoop. Hairbun also stretches her arm up.]
:Ponytail (offscreen): '''''Out!'''''

:[Ponytail walks toward them consulting a large piece of paper divided into sections.]
:Megan (offscreen): What do you ''mean'', out?!
:Ponytail: The ball clipped the corner of the baseball zone. Infield fly rule.
:Megan (offscreen): Aw, ''maaan''...

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Basketball]]
[[Category:Baseball]]
[[Category:Sport]]

1507: Metaball

2026-02-23T18:04:24Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 1507
| date = April 3, 2015
| title = Metaball
| image = metaball.png
| titletext = Shoot, it landed in the golf course. Gonna be hard to get it down the--oh, never mind, it rolled onto the ice hazard. Face-off!
}}

==Explanation==
In the first two panels of this game [[Megan]] kicks a {{w|Ball (association football)|football}} (also known as a {{w|association football|soccer}} ball in some regions), but the surprise comes in the next panel when it turns out she tried to kick it into a {{w|basketball}} hoop where Cueball is either trying to catch, stop or dunk the ball. [[Hairbun]] is also reaching an arm up after the ball. But then [[Ponytail]] yells "'''''Out!'''''". When Megan asks Ponytail why the ball is out, Ponytail explains it is due to the ''{{w|infield fly rule}}'' that was invoked when the ball crossed into the {{w|baseball}} zone - a very complicated rule to understand for baseball outsiders.

They are playing a {{w|ball game}} that incorporates the rules of many {{w|List of ball games|games that use a ball}}. The rules seem to be based on the location of the {{w|ball}}. Ponytail is holding a map which divides the area into zones. Each time the ball enters a new zone, the rules change to become the rules of the ball game represented in that zone.

The name "Metaball" is the combination of the prefix "{{w|meta}}" and the word "{{w|ball}}". Not long before this comic there was another comic with "meta" in the title: [[1447: Meta-Analysis]]. The entire joke ''is meta'' in [[917: Hofstadter]].

Megan is out according to the rules of baseball, because the football that she initially kicked in the football zone in an attempt to score in the basketball hoop (in the basketball zone), clipped the corner of the baseball zone. And suddenly her high kick turned into a {{w|Batted ball|pop fly}} and Ponytail (presumably the referee (and creator/ruler) of this game) invoked the infield fly rule which forces the batter out. In this case that would be the kicker Megan as she is the last to have touched the ball.

In baseball the infield fly rule can be invoked by the {{w|umpire}} (i.e. the referee in baseball, Ponytail in this case), to prevent an {{w|infielder}} from intentionally dropping a fair ball when runners are on multiple bases, forcing the runners on base to advance and allowing the infielder's team to quickly perform a double or triple play by throwing the ball to where the runners are trying to get and performing force out on their base. The infield fly rule, once called out by the umpire, forces the batter to be out whether or not the infielder tries to get the batter out. While complicated, and difficult for outsider to understand, the rule has been in baseball for a long time and makes sense in context.

The title text continues the comic. After Megan is ruled out, even though Cueball misses the catch, the ball now enters the {{w|golf}} section of the field, meaning that the players would have to hit the ball into a golf hole to score. Given that the ball is much larger than a standard golf ball, this would prove difficult. However, before they get this far, the situation changes as the ball rolls into a separate section of the field called the ice hazard.

On a golf course a {{w|Hazard (golf)|hazard}} is either a {{w|Hazard_(golf)#Bunker|bunker}} (with sand) or a {{w|/Hazard_(golf)#Water_hazard|water hazard}}. If the latter type freezes over it could be called an ice hazard. However, in this Metaball game this section of the course is apparently used to play some form of {{w|ice hockey}}. And since the game has been held up when Megan was called out, they will now have to restart the game with a {{w|face-off}} (a skirmish between two players of opposing teams to restart the game). It can be argued that an ice hockey {{w|Hockey puck|puck}} can be considered a ball, since ice hockey has evolved from, and is a variation of, older stick-and-ball games. And since they play both baseball, basketball and golf with the association football, they could also continue playing ice hockey with this ball instead of a puck.

For the record there are several other versions of {{w|hockey}} that are played with a ball ({{w|ball hockey}} for instance) and at least one of these is played on ice (see {{w|broomball}}). In these games face-offs are also used. It seems likely that [[Randall]] has chosen some of the most popular sports of the US - and then used a soccer/football instead of an {{w|Football_(ball)#American_and_Canadian_football|American football}}.

Given the timing of this comic with {{w|NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Championship|the US collegiate basketball tournament}}, we may assume Randall is writing as a response to that. He has previously given an opinion on sports (see for instance [[904: Sports]], [[1107: Sports Cheat Sheet]] and [[1480: Super Bowl]]).

This concept is very similar to [http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1990/05/27 Calvinball] from the comic strip ''{{w|Calvin and Hobbes}}'' by American cartoonist {{w|Bill Watterson}}.

In computer graphics, metaballs, also known as blobby objects, are organic-looking n-dimensional isosurfaces, characterised by their ability to meld together when in close proximity to create single, contiguous objects.

==Transcript==
:[Megan runs towards a bouncing soccer football.]

:[Megan kicks the soccer football upwards.]

:[Cueball leaps towards the ball as it falls towards a basketball hoop. Hairbun also stretches her arm up.]
:Ponytail (offscreen):'''''Out!'''''

:[Ponytail walks toward them consulting a large piece of paper divided into sections.]
:Megan (offscreen): What do you ''mean'', out?!
:Ponytail: The ball clipped the corner of the baseball zone. Infield fly rule.
:Megan (offscreen): Aw, ''maaan''...

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Basketball]]
[[Category:Baseball]]
[[Category:Sport]]

3210: Eliminating the Impossible

2026-02-20T20:17:09Z

Amateurautist:

3210: Eliminating the Impossible

2026-02-20T20:15:14Z

Amateurautist: added a transcript wheeee

1397: Luke

2026-02-20T18:47:15Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 1397
| date = July 21, 2014
| title = Luke
| image = luke.png
| titletext = Don't turn it on.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic takes place in a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDnoczxzQyg scene] from the third theatrically-released ''{{w|Star Wars}}'' movie, ''{{w|Return of the Jedi}}'', wherein {{w|Darth Vader}} confronts his son, {{w|Luke Skywalker}}, who had recently surrendered to {{w|Galactic Empire (Star Wars)|Imperial}} soldiers. In the movie Vader notes that Luke Skywalker has constructed a new {{w|lightsaber}} following the loss of his [[wikia:c:starwars:Luke skywalker#Lightsabers|original]] during their [[wikia:c:starwars:Duel on Cloud City|duel on Cloud City]], Luke Skywalker's original lightsaber actually having been the second lightsaber of {{w|Anakin Skywalker}}, who later turned into Darth Vader.

In this comic, however, Darth Vader has accidentally discovered his son's {{w|fleshlight}} (a male {{w|sex toy}} designed to imitate one of various orifices, most commonly a vagina), which he apparently brought with him on the [[wikia:c:starwars:Battle of Endor#The ground assault|attack]] on the {{w|Endor (Star Wars)|Forest Moon of Endor}}. [https://youtu.be/Z8uDQuWlnww?t=71 From a certain point of view], a fleshlight could be mistaken for the handle of a lightsaber, without the blade extended. Like many teenagers, Luke Skywalker is attempting to hide evidence of his sexual activity from a parent. References to fleshlights are a [[:Category:Fleshlights|recurring theme]] in xkcd.

The title text refers to the fact that if Darth Vader turned the fleshlight on, instead of creating a blade of pure plasma or energy suspended in a force containment field the device would simply vibrate, revealing it for what it really is. [[Randall]] is also punning on "being turned on" as slang for being sexually aroused.

In a later comic another version of this scene is displayed in [[1433: Lightsaber]]. This time not so embarrassing for Luke, but much more dangerous. In that comic Luke should really have said "Don't turn it on".

In [[1637: Salt Mine]], [[Ponytail]] makes a very similar remark to the one that Luke makes here.

==Transcript==
:[Darth Vader is holding up what appears to be the handle of a powered-down lightsaber looking down at it while talking to Luke Skywalker, drawn with thin hair hanging down his forehead.]
:Darth Vader: '''''I see you have constructed a new lightsaber.'''''
:Luke Skywalker: ...Yes.
:Luke Skywalker: That is definitely what I did.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Vader finds Luke's fleshlight

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Fleshlights]]

1397: Luke

2026-02-20T18:46:59Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 1397
| date = July 21, 2014
| title = Luke
| image = luke.png
| titletext = Don't turn it on.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic takes place in a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDnoczxzQyg scene] from the third theatrically-released ''{{w|Star Wars}}'' movie, ''{{w|Return of the Jedi}}'', wherein {{w|Darth Vader}} confronts his son, {{w|Luke Skywalker}}, who had recently surrendered to {{w|Galactic Empire (Star Wars)|Imperial}} soldiers. In the movie Vader notes that Luke Skywalker has constructed a new {{w|lightsaber}} following the loss of his [[wikia:c:starwars:Luke skywalker#Lightsabers|original]] during their [[wikia:c:starwars:Duel on Cloud City|duel on Cloud City]], Luke Skywalker's original lightsaber actually having been the second lightsaber of {{w|Anakin Skywalker}}, who later turned into Darth Vader.

In this comic, however, Darth Vader has accidentally discovered his son's {{w|fleshlight}} (a male {{w|sex toy}} designed to imitate one of various orifices, most commonly a vagina), which he apparently brought with him on the [[wikia:c:starwars:Battle of Endor#The ground assault|attack]] on the {{w|Endor (Star Wars)|Forest Moon of Endor}}. [https://youtu.be/Z8uDQuWlnww?t=71 From a certain point of view], a fleshlight could be mistaken for the handle of a lightsaber, without the blade extended. Like many teenagers, Luke Skywalker is attempting to hide evidence of his sexual activity from a parent. References to fleshlights are a [[:Category:Fleshlights|recurring theme]] in xkcd.

The title text refers to the fact that if Darth Vader turned the fleshlight on, instead of creating a blade of pure plasma or energy suspended in a force containment field the device would simply vibrate, revealing it for what it really is. [[Randall]] is also punning on "being turned on" as slang for being sexually aroused.

In a later comic another version of this scene is displayed in [[1433: Lightsaber]]. This time not so embarrassing for Luke, but much more dangerous. In that comic Luke should really have said "Don't turn it on".

In [[1637: Salt Mine]], [[Ponytail]] makes a very similar remark to the one that Luke makes here.

==Transcript==
:[Darth Vader is holding up what appears to be the handle of a powered-down lightsaber looking down at it while talking to Luke Skywalker, drawn with thin hair hanging down his forehead.]
:Darth Vader: '''''I see you have constructed a new lightsaber.'''''
:Luke Skywalker: ...Yes.
:Luke Skywalker: That is definitely what I did.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Vader finds Luke's Fleshlight

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Fleshlights]]

502: Dark Flow

2026-02-20T15:57:03Z

Amateurautist: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 502
| date = November 10, 2008
| title = Dark Flow
| image = dark_flow.png
| titletext = The Pioneer anomaly is due to the force of my love.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is about {{w|astronomy}} and the {{w|Your Mom}} jokes that have become increasingly widespread in urban parlance. [[Beret Guy]] is reading a research paper presumably discussing {{w|Dark Flow}}, an observed anomaly in the motions of the galaxies that some theorize is caused by an unobservable sibling universe or similarly supermassive object beyond the edge of the visible universe. [[Cueball]] sees this as an opportunity to make yet another Your Mom joke, implying that Beret Guy's mother is fat.

But apparently, Beret Guy's mother is dead, or at least missing, and he takes the joke seriously. He looks toward the sky and wishes that his mom pull harder so that he could be with her. The joke has been turned onto itself.

The title text is a continuation of Beret Guy's thoughts and refers to another science phenomenon that has been observed in space, the {{w|Pioneer Anomaly}}. The ''{{w|Pioneer 10}}'' and ''{{w|Pioneer 11}}'' spacecraft had been slowed down by an (at the time) unknown force as they exited the solar system, which he says is caused by the force of his love, probably toward his mom. This force has since been explained entirely in 2012 by the probes being decelerated by thermal radiation.

In [[2310: Great Attractor]], thanks to "galactic motion and how many dimensions [his] bones have", the more local {{w|Great Attractor}} is pulling Beret Guy so hard that he can sleep on vertical surfaces when it is close to the horizon.

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy is sitting at a computer, and Cueball is sitting in an armchair, reading either a book or a newspaper.]
:Beret Guy: According to this A.S.T. paper, every galaxy is being pulled toward one area of the sky.

:[Only Cueball.]
:Beret Guy [off-panel]: They hypothesize that it may be due to a supermassive object beyond the edge of the visible universe.
:Cueball: Maybe it's your mom.
:Cueball: Zing!

:[Only Beret Guy.]
:Beret Guy: Do you think?

:[Outside at night, on a rooftop. Beret Guy is looking up to the sky, next to a telescope.]
:Beret Guy: Pull harder, mom.
:Beret Guy: I Miss you.

==Trivia==
* Beret Guy's "A.S.T. paper" might refer to the [https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1086/592947 article] that first mentioned the theory of {{w|Dark flow|dark flow}}, published shortly before this comic. The article appeared in the {{w|American Astronomical Society}}'s {{w|The Astrophysical Journal|Astrophysical Journal Letters}} (ApJL), but it is unclear what is meant by "A.S.T." in the comic.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Your Mom]]
[[Category:Space probes]]
[[Category:Telescopes]]

425: Fortune Cookies

2026-02-19T17:00:44Z

Amateurautist: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 425
| date = May 19, 2008
| title = Fortune Cookies
| image = fortune_cookies.png
| titletext = "You will have hot, steamy, sweaty sex... IN BED!"
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Fortune cookie}}s are crisp cookies containing a small piece of paper with words of wisdom or a vague prophecy. Even though they were not actually invented in China, they are commonly served as dessert in Chinese restaurants in the United States.

There is a {{w|Fortune cookie#In popular culture|common joke}} involving fortune cookies that involves appending "in bed" — the phrase "in bed" being one of many sexual innuendo jokes along with "{{w|Maternal insult|your mom}}," "that's what she said," and "{{w|said the actress to the bishop}}" — to the end of the fortune, usually creating a sexual innuendo or other bizarre messages.

*The ones you love will never let you down in bed
*Your self-confidence is well placed in bed
*Seek nonviolence in everything you do in bed

This comic turns that joke around, showing how appending "except in bed" can also create even more amusing messages.

*The ones you love will never let you down, except in bed
*Your self-confidence is well placed, except in bed
*Seek nonviolence in everything you do, except in bed

The title text instead shows the example of an imaginary fortune that would not change in meaning if "in bed" was appended. The meaning would, however, change considerably if "''except'' in bed" was added instead. A part of the joke is that you will [hopefully] never find such a fortune in a cookie!

==Transcript==
:[Megan to the left, Cueball to the right, and Blondie in the middle are sitting on chairs around a table with lots of small stuff on it. A few small white items are standing up. All three are reading from the piece of paper they each hold up in their hands (Megan only using one hand). Below them, there is a caption inside the panel.]
:Megan: "The ones you love will never let you down."
:Cueball: "Seek nonviolence in everything you do."
:Blondie: "Your self-confidence is well-placed."

:Instead of "In bed", I've found that fortune cookies are often more improved by appending "''Except'' in bed".

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Blondie]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Food]]