explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

xkcd: volume 0

2025-04-04T00:16:42Z

AmossGuy: put list of comics in columns

{{DISPLAYTITLE:''xkcd: volume 0''}}{{book navigation}}[[File:xkcd_volume_0.jpeg|260px|right|thumb|The cover of the book]]{{incomplete|The article is missing a lot of information and links about the book.}}{{TOC}}

'''''xkcd: volume 0''''' is a book by [[Randall Munroe]] released on August 24, 2010. It features a collection of comics personally chosen by Randall from the initial 600 entries of the webcomic. These comics were assembled from high-resolution original scans and include the original or, sometimes, a different title text. The book is available to [https://archive.org/details/2009Xkcd read in full on the Internet Archive].

{{Quote|<nowiki></nowiki>''xkcd: volume 0'' is the first xkcd book! It features selections from the first 600 comics, including various author and fan favorites. It was lovingly assembled from high-resolution original scans of the comics (the mouseover text is discreetly included), and features a lot of doodles, notes, and puzzles in the margins.
|''[[Randall Munroe]]|[https://web.archive.org/web/20100701115034/http://store.xkcd.com/ Source]}}

The book is published by {{w|Breadpig}}, a company founded by Randall's friend Alexis, and their portion of the profits will go to build a school in Laos through the charity {{w|Room to Read}}.

{{cot|Comics featured in the book}}
<div style="column-width:20em">
# [[10: Pi Equals]]
# [[242: The Difference]]
# [[249: Chess Photo]]
# [[123: Centrifugal Force]]
# [[214: The Problem with Wikipedia]]
# [[221: Random Number]]
# [[231: Cat Proximity]]
# [[20: Ferret]]
# [[21: Kepler]]
# [[30: Donner]]
# [[37: Hyphen]]
# [[82: Frame]]
# [[44: Love]]
# [[54: Science]]
# [[55: Useless]]
# [[85: Paths]]
# [[105: Parallel Universe]]
# [[108: M.C. Hammer Slide]]
# [[112: Baring My Heart]]
# [[114: Computational Linguists]]
# [[120: Dating Service]]
# [[116: City]]
# [[117: Pong]]
# [[124: Blogofractal]]
# [[128: dPain over dt]]
# [[134: Myspace]]
# [[135: Substitute]]
# [[136: Science Fair]]
# [[137: Dreams]]
# [[138: Pointers]]
# [[149: Sandwich]]
# [[152: Hamster Ball]]
# [[160: Penny Arcade Parody]]
# [[153: Cryptography]]
# [[159: Boombox]]
# [[157: Filler Art]]
# [[161: Accident]]
# [[162: Angular Momentum]]
# [[184: Matrix Transform]]
# [[163: Donald Knuth]]
# [[165: Turn Signals]]
# [[201: Christmas GPS]]
# [[177: Alice and Bob]]
# [[173: Movie Seating]]
# [[179: e to the pi times i]]
# [[191: Lojban]]
# [[210: 90's Flowchart]]
# [[200: Bill Nye]]
# [[182: Nash]]
# [[180: Canada]]
# [[215: Letting Go]]
# [[239: Blagofaire]]
# [[225: Open Source]]
# [[230: Hamiltonian]]
# [[240: Dream Girl]]
# [[247: Factoring the Time]]
# [[248: Hypotheticals]]
# [[253: Highway Engineer Pranks]]
# [[257: Code Talkers]]
# [[258: Conspiracy Theories]]
# [[262: IN UR REALITY]]
# [[276: Fixed Width]]
# [[274: With Apologies to The Who]]
# [[279: Pickup Lines]]
# [[275: Thoughts]]
# [[77: Bored with the Internet]]
# [[150: Grownups]]
# [[167: Nihilism]]
# [[144: Parody Week: A Softer World]]
# [[209: Kayak]]
# [[202: YouTube]]
# [[285: Wikipedian Protester]]
# [[472: House of Pancakes]]
# [[556: Alternative Energy Revolution]]
# [[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]]
# [[264: Choices: Part 1]]
# [[265: Choices: Part 2]]
# [[266: Choices: Part 3]]
# [[267: Choices: Part 4]]
# [[268: Choices: Part 5]]
# [[282: Organic Fuel]]
# [[280: Librarians]]
# [[320: 28-Hour Day]]
# [[316: Loud Sex]]
# [[284: Tape Measure]]
# [[287: NP-Complete]]
# [[290: Fucking Blue Shells]]
# [[303: Compiling]]
# [[291: Dignified]]
# [[305: Rule 34]]
# [[327: Exploits of a Mom]]
# [[333: Getting Out of Hand]]
# [[323: Ballmer Peak]]
# [[322: Pix Plz]]
# [[325: A-Minus-Minus]]
# [[340: Fight]]
# [[356: Nerd Sniping]]
# [[349: Success]]
# [[366: Your Mom]]
# [[369: Dangers]]
# [[372: To Be Wanted]]
# [[374: Journal]]
# [[377: Journal 2]]
# [[373: The Data So Far]]
# [[376: Bug]]
# [[380: Emoticon]]
# [[387: Advanced Technology]]
# [[386: Duty Calls]]
# [[412: Startled]]
# [[389: Keeping Time]]
# [[397: Unscientific]]
# [[391: Anti-Mindvirus]]
# [[393: Ultimate Game]]
# [[416: Zealous Autoconfig]]
# [[396: The Ring]]
# [[398: Tap That Ass]]
# [[420: Jealousy]]
# [[429: Fantasy]]
# [[434: xkcd Goes to the Airport]]
# [[435: Purity]]
# [[445: I Am Not Good with Boomerangs]]
# [[475: Further Boomerang Difficulties]]
# [[451: Impostor]]
# [[452: Mission]]
# [[463: Voting Machines]]
# [[500: Election]]
# [[481: Listen to Yourself]]
# [[486: I am Not a Ninja]]
# [[487: Numerical Sex Positions]]
# [[505: A Bunch of Rocks]]
# [[488: Steal This Comic]]
# [[511: Sleet]]
# [[530: I'm An Idiot]]
# [[513: Friends]]
# [[518: Flow Charts]]
# [[540: Base System]]
# [[569: Borders]]
# [[565: Security Question]]
# [[552: Correlation]]
# [[559: No Pun Intended]]
# [[591: Troll Slayer]]
# [[571: Can't Sleep]]
# [[592: Drama]]
# [[585: Outreach]]
</div>
{{cob}}
==Transcript==
===Front cover===
:[A bit above the middle of the page, there is the title of the book with the subtitle in a smaller font size below it. Neither the title nor the subtitle are capitalized.]
:xkcd
:volume 0
:[In the bottom right of the page stand Megan, on the right, and Cueball, on the left, holding hands. Cueball looks away from Megan, to the left, and Megan looks away from Cueball, to the right.]

===Back cover===
:[There are several otherwise nondescript gray rectangles on which the characters stand on. Red spiders are present throughout the panel.]
:[Two of these rectangles are attached from the area around the right corner and going off of the cover, in an L-shape. Black Hat stands on it, taking notes on a journal. Twenty-three red spiders lie on the object. Nine of them are clustered in the inner L corner, four of them forming chains. An additional red spider has just fallen off of the object from the right.]
:[To L shape's right, in the air, Cory Doctorow in his red suit is shown punching a red spider.]

==Other non-comic content==
The book also contains other content than just the comics, usually in red.

The bottom of page one has the following characters

CNEG BAR BS RVTUG VA URK: RR AVAR RVTUG SVIR BAR BAR RVTUG. 

The bottom of page two, under the strip Chess Photo, has

http://xkcd.com/chesscoaster/

On page 10, next to the comic Centrifugal Force, there is a drawing of Cueball leaning out of a hot air ballon above three mountains.

The bottom right of page 11 contains Cueball sitting next to a block of characters that is four characters tall and eight characters wide. The characters are

I0TAE/KE[New line] 
20IBSWIY[New line] 
ODE65TN8[New line] 
CO25.RAP

[Note: I could not differentiate the 1’s from the “I”’s and the 0’s from the “O”’s in this section, so this transcription may not be entirely accurate.]

Page 12 contains a drawing of Cueball holding a cat next to the comic Cat Proximity. He is saying

KITTY KITTY KITTY 

On page 111, below the comic Useless, there is the text

CY-O CMLROOCXN. YR M.AOGP. NRK.W ABE ,CYDRGY M.AOGP.M.BY YD.P. JAB X. BR OJC.BJ.V <D.B CY JRM.O YR NRK.W ,.-P. ANN CB YD. EAPTV [[TCBO.F

On the bottom of page 1000, near the comic M.C. Hammer Slide, there is a drawing of Cueball doing the M.C. Hammer slide in a hamster ball with the caption M.C. Hamster written below it.

On page 1010, there is a drawing of Cueball on a one wheeler approaching a ramp to the right

On the page 1012, under the comic DPain Over Dt, there is the text in braille

⠊⠞⠀⠞⠁⠅⠑⠎⠀⠍⠕⠗⠑⠀⠞⠊⠍⠑⠀⠞⠓⠁⠝⠀⠽⠕⠥⠀⠑⠭⠏⠑⠉⠞ ⠃⠥⠞ ⠇⠑⠎⠎ ⠞⠓⠁⠝⠀⠽⠕⠥⠀⠋⠑⠁⠗⠲

The following pages have the respective 2 characters in the upper right corner

101010 grey LY 
101120 red IK 
102000 red GU 
110100 red EH 
110102 red DO 
110111 red CR 

The bottom of page 10020 under the Dream Girl strip, has
772A3A35 DEF88CA7 0BDFD186 20B05684 934721F8 F64762FD 
03F8D76B 3FA0CB8C 2756B2D0 A9F00A1B CFF1603E DB05426C 

The bottom of page 10112 has the string 
0011001001011100000101100000110111100100001010100110011000010010110011 

The bottom of page 111000 (2nd last page) says 
123 B 
followed by an arrow bouncing off a vertical line, and the string 
VRDSTLRBYSMRLUVRXGCFHZWXKYNHYKLKWMCLRMFIKOZAIYXJWITOYOVN 

Page 110120 contains the following poem rotated 90 degrees clockwise. 
THE START OF THE TENTH-FAVORITE WORD USED BY BENDER 
THE TOON THAT WENT SOUTH WHILE COMMANDED BY ENDER 
THE NUMBER OF LIGHTS THAT PICARD SAID WERE ON 
AND THE CLASS OF THE PLANET WHERE KIRK SHOUTED "KHAAAN!" 
THE RINGS FOR THE MEN MINUS RINGS FOR THE ELVES 
AND THE PRODUCT MOD 10 OF A FIVESOME OF TWELVES 
THE END OF A CODE NES GAMERS KNOW 
AND THE BASE USED TO MODEL HOW QUICKLY THINGS GROW 
WHEN THEY'RE XOR'D TOGETHER THE CHECKSUM IS "E" 
WHICH WILL TELL YOU YOU'VE GOT THE PENULTIMATE KEY 

See also 
* pg 1 [[10: Pi Equals]]
* pg 111 [[55: Useless]]
* pg 1012 [[128: dPain over dt]]
And talk/discussion pages for
* pg 11002 [[144: Parody Week: A Softer World]]
* pg 11002 [[209: Kayak]]
* pg 11011 [[285: Wikipedian Protester]]
* pg 100000 [[282: Organic Fuel]]
* pg 100012 [[290: Fucking Blue Shells]]

Other pages also have extra text, drawings or glyphs.



[[Category:Red Spiders]]
[[Category:Books]]
{{xkcdmeta}}

3020: Infinite Armada Chess

2024-12-05T05:13:35Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */ plural possesive

{{comic
| number = 3020
| date = December 4, 2024
| title = Infinite Armada Chess
| image = infinite_armada_chess_2x.png
| imagesize = 282x497px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Stockfish 16 suggests the unconventional opening 1. RuntimeError: Out of bounds memory access
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an infinite armada of stockfish BOTS - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{w|Chess}} is a board game played between two players on an 8x8 chessboard. In standard chess, each player has 8 pawns and 8 pieces: 2 rooks, 2 knights, 2 bishops, a queen, and a king. {{w|Chess variants}} are chess games in which the rules, board sizes, and/or piece behaviors are altered. In the chess game presented here, the standard chessboard is presented, however, the board extends vertically past the original 1st and 8th ranks off the page to infinity in both directions. Each square beyond the 8 standard ranks is filled by an additional queen. The {{w|Queen (chess)|queen}} is the most powerful piece on the chessboard, having the powers of a {{w|Bishop (chess)|bishop}} and a {{w|Rook (chess)|rook}} combined. With an {{tvtropes|TitleDrop|infinite armada}} of queens, each player will be much stronger.{{citation needed}} Sometimes having a bunch of queens [https://x.com/chesscom/status/1841540380363211164 doesn't go very well], however.

In {{w|algebraic chess notation}}, chess moves are represented by the move number, the piece moved, and the destination square. For example, the sequence 1. e4 Nf6 indicates that White opened the game by moving their e-pawn to the e4 square and Black replied by moving their kingside knight to f6, the {{w|Alekhine Defence}}. In the title text, {{w|Stockfish_(Chess)|Stockfish}} is a {{w|chess engine}} designed to evaluate a chessboard and find the best move. However, it is limited by the processing power of the computer on which it runs. {{citation needed}} As there are infinitely many pieces to consider in the move evaluation, Stockfish will require an infinitely large amount of {{w|RAM|memory}} to evaluate the position. This has the problem of exceeding the maximum memory of the computer running Stockfish, returning a {{w|RuntimeError}} as the first move for White.

==Transcript==
:[A chess board in the starting position, except it extends further at the top and bottom, going beyond the panel. The extra squares are filled with queens of the sides' respective colors.]

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Infinite armada chess

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Chess]]

3020: Infinite Armada Chess

2024-12-05T05:00:58Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 3020
| date = December 4, 2024
| title = Infinite Armada Chess
| image = infinite_armada_chess_2x.png
| imagesize = 282x497px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Stockfish 16 suggests the unconventional opening 1. RuntimeError: Out of bounds memory access
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an infinite armada of stockfish BOTS - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{w|Chess}} is a board game played between two players on an 8x8 chessboard. In standard chess, each player has 8 pawns and 8 pieces: 2 rooks, 2 knights, 2 bishops, a queen, and a king. {{w|Chess variants}} are chess games in which the rules, board sizes, and/or piece behaviors are altered. In the chess game presented here, the standard chessboard is presented, however, the board extends vertically past the original 1st and 8th ranks off the page to infinity in both directions. Each square beyond the 8 standard ranks is filled by an additional queen. The {{w|Queen (chess)|queen}} is the most powerful piece on the chessboard, having the powers of a {{w|Bishop (chess)|bishop}} and a {{w|Rook (chess)|rook}} combined. With an {{tvtropes|TitleDrop|infinite armada}} of queens, each player will be much stronger.{{citation needed}} Sometimes having a bunch of queens [https://x.com/chesscom/status/1841540380363211164 doesn't go very well], however.

In {{w|algebraic chess notation}}, chess moves are represented by the move number, the piece moved, and the destination square. For example, the sequence 1. e4 Nf6 indicates that White opened the game by moving their e-pawn to the e4 square and Black replied by moving their kingside knight to f6, the {{w|Alekhine Defence}}. In the title text, {{w|Stockfish_(Chess)|Stockfish}} is a {{w|chess engine}} designed to evaluate a chessboard and find the best move. However, it is limited by the processing power of the computer on which it runs. {{citation needed}} As there are infinitely many pieces to consider in the move evaluation, Stockfish will require an infinitely large amount of {{w|RAM|memory}} to evaluate the position. This has the problem of exceeding the maximum memory of the computer running Stockfish, returning a {{w|RuntimeError}} as the first move for White.

==Transcript==
:[A chess board in the starting position, except it extends further at the top and bottom, going beyond the panel. The extra squares are filled with queens of the side's respective colors.]

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Infinite armada chess

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Chess]]

2888: US Survey Foot

2024-05-07T20:45:26Z

AmossGuy: transcript tweak

{{comic
| number = 2888
| date = January 31, 2024
| title = US Survey Foot
| image = us_survey_foot_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x606px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Subway refuses to answer my questions about whether it's an International Footlong or a US Survey Footlong. A milligram of sandwich is at stake!
}}

==Explanation==

This comic pokes fun at the difference in length between the {{w|Foot_(unit)#U.S._survey_foot|US Survey Foot}} and the {{w|Foot_(unit)|International Foot}}. After Carl Edvard Johansson's {{w|Carl_Edvard_Johansson#Johansson_and_the_inch|gauge blocks}} in 1912 led to {{w|International_yard_and_pound|an international agreement}} in 1959, the foot has been defined to be exactly 0.3048 meters, whilst the US survey foot continued to use the {{w|Mendenhall Order|definition of 1893}}, making it a bit longer than the international foot at 1200/3937 meters. However, the difference between the two is proportionately too small to be meaningful for most purposes, as they differ by only 2 parts per million. At foot-length scales, the difference is a fraction of a micron, with longer measures (where the error grows to a notable degree) requiring an already excessive implied precision likely to mismatch its true accuracy. Some engineering or scientific applications ''may'' involve such tolerances, but would be expected to consistently use some more modern standard of measurement, such as {{w|International System of Units|SI (the Metric System)}}, to {{w|Mars Climate Orbiter|avoid such confusion}}.

In the third panel, Cueball says that someone is using the survey foot again. It turns out to be [[Black Hat]], acting in a way that sounds very typical for him. Cueball claims that he is drawing the world 610 nm closer to madness, which is about the difference per foot between the two measures. Cueball, outraged, then says that the {{w|National Institute of Standards and Technology}} (NIST) will capture Black Hat to stop him from using the US survey foot. One joke here is that his coordinates show that he is 8000 miles away, but since he is using the US survey foot, he is 0.016 miles (around 25.75 meters or 84.48 feet) away from the search team, making them unable to find him at that exact spot. They are probably at the same lake in the last two frames, with maybe only some bushes separating them; a good strike team would likely keep looking in the area, but perhaps being strictly NIST-trained to adhere to particularly exacting standards has ironically made them vulnerable to the same inaccuracies that they are supposed to be preventing.

Part of the joke is the imaginative idea that NIST employs and dispatches strike teams to apprehend persons that use incorrect measurements. This may be a play on words about the {{w|Nuclear Emergency Support Team}}, or "NEST", a {{w|United States Department of Energy}} group who respond to nuclear and radiological emergencies such as reactor accidents or nuclear terrorism, and who might reasonably have access to resources such as the helicopters depicted during a crisis.

The title text references a {{w|Subway (restaurant)#Sandwich_size|2013 lawsuit}} over the length of a "Footlong" sandwich sold by the Subway fast food chain. However – in contrast to the issue at stake in that lawsuit – the difference in length between an 'international footlong' sandwich and a 'US survey footlong' sandwich is far below the precision ''or'' accuracy by which sandwiches are usually produced, making it understandable that Subway would not think it necessary to clarify which definition of 'foot' they use for their products.

Absurd outcomes from updated survey standards was also the topic of [[2920: Survey Marker]].

===Explanation of the comic's underlying assumptions and implications===
Randall appears to be playing a bit fast-and-loose here. To make this joke work implies a rather imaginative situation: that both Black Hat and the searchers have set their devices to measure and report location in reference to the same location (the place where Cueball is, at one end of the 8,000 mile measurement) and not just use a satellite navigation system like GPS and lat/long like every other smartphone on the planet.

In the unlikely event that the searchers' phones measure and report location in reference to Cueball's location, evidently Black Hat has also overridden his device's in-built GPS to report its location in reference to Cueball's location as a way to toy with him and the NIST teams, and then traveled EXACTLY 8,000 survey-foot miles away, knowing NIST would be able to track him and that a team would be sent in pursuit. After all, Black Hat is known for his preternatural powers of mischief.

The punchline of the comic still doesn't make much sense though. The difference between the two definitions of the foot (8,000 miles vs 8,000.016 miles) is a little under 85 feet, and the background of the last two comic panels suggests that Black Hat and the NIST team are both standing next to the same pond on the other side of a bush or rock. Given that humans can easily see for miles, it is extremely unlikely that the NIST team would not be able to see Black Hat walking away. Even if they could not on the ground because of the rock/bush in the way, they should have easily done so from the helicopter as they approached. Furthermore, Black Hat is shown as humming or singing due to the musical notes by his head, and once again humans can easily hear someone humming or singing from about 85 feet away in a quiet forest.

Though Cueball’s location is not specified, one potential location is NIST headquarters in Gaithersburg, Maryland, or another governmental location, perhaps in the Greater Washington Area where most US government agencies and departments are headquartered. These options are supported by the panel in which Cueball mentions a NIST team is on their way and brags that “we” are going to capture him. This language implies that Cueball either works for NIST or for a larger effort in which NIST is a partner. These location options are also supported by the fact that Cueball’s location is used for the origin point of the 8,000-mile measurement, suggesting that he’s speaking at a flagship location and not a random office building.

The use of helicopters — which cannot fly 8,000 miles unaided — also suggests an imaginative situation in which NIST teams with access to helicopters are distributed around the globe, perhaps at US air bases and on US aircraft carriers.

===Real world examples===
In the early 2000s, Survey Foot/International Foot conversion issues created difficulties in the civil engineering industry after a commonly used CADD design software package changed how it processed units. Prior versions of the software program Microstation were unit-agnostic, relying only on absolute coordinates assigned to elements from survey data. Starting with Microstation Version 8, internal software calculations were performed entirely in metric units and relied on a units definition file to seamlessly convert to the unit system being used for a project. The default options in the program being “Foot” (i.e., International Foot) or “Survey Foot”, many users were unaware of the difference and selected “Foot” even when a project’s field survey was performed in survey feet. In the US, most states have their own coordinate systems, referred to as State Plane Coordinates, to correct for the approximation of projecting the Earth’s spherical surface into a cartesian X,Y plane. Some states have coordinate zones which span their entire length, so a project’s coordinates can be millions of feet from the origin, a scale on which the minuscule difference between Survey and International feet conversion becomes whole feet.

In another famous example, a building in Arizona was required to be built one story shorter than planned. The building was going to be 20 stories tall and almost in line with an international airport runway. It was designed to be one foot north of the FAA mandated flight path for runway approaches, which it would otherwise violate due to its height. However, the building was surveyed in international feet (the legal standard in Arizona) while the flight path was defined in survey feet (used nationally by the FAA). The baseline that defined coordinates in this part of Arizona was about a million feet away, which added up to a difference of about two feet. As a result the building would have been inside the FAA flight path, and to avoid this the building had to be reduced to 19 stories so it was below the exclusion zone.

==Transcript==

:[Closeup on Cueball.]
:Cueball: We thought it was over. After 60 years of struggle, the US survey foot was dead, deprecated by NIST in 2023.

:[Cueball is shown to be talking to Ponytail, Hairy, and Megan. He has a presentation behind him.]
:Cueball: We thought architects and engineers could rest easy, free of the headaches of having two conflicting definitions of the foot that differ by 610 nanometers.
:International foot: 0.304 800 000 m
:US survey foot [crossed over in gray] R.I.P.: 0.304 800 609... m

:[Cueball points at an image of Black Hat with unreadable writing above it.]
:Cueball: But I bring dire news:
:Cueball: ''Someone has started using the US survey foot again.''

:[Closeup on Cueball again.]
:Off-panel voice: Why!?
:Cueball: We don't know.
:Cueball: Some people just want to drag the world 610nm closer to madness.

:[Farther view of Cueball only. He clenches a fist.]
:Off-panel voice: What can we do!?
:Cueball: A NIST team is already in the air. We will capture the scofflaw and end this nightmare.

:[Two helicopters flying, with mountains in the background.]

:Caption: 8,000 miles away
:[Two operatives in a forest by a pond with NIST helmets. One talks on a walkie-talkie.]
:Operative: We've reached the coordinates of the target's device. There's no one here.
:Voice from walkie-talkie: How!?

:Caption: 8,000.016 miles away
:[Black Hat walking elsewhere in the forest, by the same pond. He appears to be holding a device of some sort.]
:Black Hat: ♫ ♪

==Trivia==

The number of miles in the last panel was [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/archive/5/5f/20240131173446%21us_survey_foot_2x.png originally] 8,000.014, but was changed to 8,000.016. The latter matches the 2 ppm difference between the international foot and the US survey foot.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Characters with hats]]
[[Category:Geography]]
[[Category:Food]]

2890: Relationship Advice

2024-02-05T17:46:31Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2890
| date = February 5, 2024
| title = Relationship Advice
| image = relationship_advice_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x241px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Good to be a little wary of advice that sounds too much like a self pep talk.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT in the midst of a GRUELING RELATIONSHIP (THIS IS NORMAL) - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:White Hat: What you have to remember is, relationships aren't easy.
:Ponytail: Yeah, fair.

:White Hat: They're hard. They require constant work.
:White Hat: A relationship is a job.
:Off-panel voice: I guess...

:White Hat: It's a challenge that feels overwhelming. It's a crushing burden.
:Cueball: Umm.

:White Hat: A relationship is a grueling ordeal.
:Cueball: ...Who are you trying to convince, exactly?
:Ponytail: Yeah, are '''''you''''' okay?
:White Hat: I'm '''''fine!''''' This is '''''normal!'''''

{{comic discussion}}

2889: Greenhouse Effect

2024-02-02T18:02:16Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2889
| date = February 2, 2024
| title = Greenhouse Effect
| image = greenhouse_effect_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x315px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Once he had the answer, Arrhenius complained to his friends that he'd "wasted over a full year" doing tedious calculations by hand about "so trifling a matter" as hypothetical CO2 concentrations in far-off eras (quoted in Crawford, 1997).
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[A timeline with three years marked.]

:[First mark:]
:'''1776'''
:James Watt develops a steam engine that helps kick off the Industrial Revolution

:[Span from 1776 to 1896:]
:120 years

:[Second mark:]
:'''1896'''
:Arvid Högbom and Svante Arrhenius note that industrial activity is adding CO2 to the atmosphere, and calculate how much the Earth will heat up if the CO2 concentration doubles. Their answer closely matches modern estimates.

:[Span from 1896 to 2024:]
:128 years

:[Third mark:]
:'''2024'''
:Today

:[Caption below the panel:]
:We figured out the greenhouse effect closer to the start of the Industrial Revolution than to today.

{{comic discussion}}

2888: US Survey Foot

2024-01-31T15:24:50Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

2887: Minnesota

2024-01-29T19:15:24Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2887
| date = January 29, 2024
| title = Minnesota
| image = minnesota_2x.png
| imagesize = 673x260px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = In addition to 'squishy', after reviewing my submitted intraplate ground motion data, the National Geodetic Survey has politely asked me to stop using the word 'supple' so often when describing Midwestern states.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a concerned Minnesota resident - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:Hairy: Does anyone have any other concerns?
:Cueball: I'm concerned that Minnesota is getting shorter.

:Cueball: Because of post-glacial crust rebound, the northern border is moving toward the southern border. It's less than an inch a decade, but I still don't like it.
:Cueball: Minnesota shouldn't be squishy.

:Hairy: Okay. Does anyone have any concerns related to the topic of this meeting?
:Cueball: All meetings should be about Minnesota until we resolve this.

{{comic discussion}}

2886: Fast Radio Bursts

2024-01-27T02:07:24Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2886
| date = January 26, 2024
| title = Fast Radio Bursts
| image = fast_radio_bursts_2x.png
| imagesize = 469x524px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Dr. Petroff has also shown that the Higgs boson signal was actually sparks from someone microwaving grapes, the EHT black hole photo was a frozen bagel someone left in too long, and the LIGO detection was just someone slamming the microwave door too hard.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:Potential sources of fast radio bursts:
:(1) Energetic stellar-sized astrophysical objects floating in space
:Cueball: We're pretty sure this is what most of them are.

:(2) Microwave ovens in the observatory break room
:Cueball: This was definitely some of them, oops. (Petroff et. al., 2015)

:(3) Energetic steller-sized microwave ovens floating in space
:Cueball: We think this one is unlikely.

:(4) Energetic stellar-sized astrophysical objects in the observatory break room
:Cueball: This is almost certainly not it, though we're sending a grad student to double-check.

{{comic discussion}}

2876: Range Safety

2024-01-03T15:01:47Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2876
| date = January 3, 2024
| title = Range Safety
| image = range_safety_2x.png
| imagesize = 565x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The Range Mischief Officer has modified the trajectory to add a single random spin somewhere in the flight, but won't tell us where.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:Voice: There are reports of thunderstorms in the downrange area.

:Voice: The Range Safety Officer has ordered a launch hold.

:Voice: But the Range '''''Danger''''' Officer wants to launch the rocket toward the biggest thunderstorm.
:Voice 2: Okay, why do we even '''''have''''' that position?

==Trivia==
* '''This trivia section was created by a BOT'''
* The [https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/range_safety.png standard size] image was uploaded with a resolution/size larger than the supposed 2x version.
* This may have been an error.

{{comic discussion}}

2876: Range Safety

2024-01-03T15:00:18Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2876
| date = January 3, 2024
| title = Range Safety
| image = range_safety_2x.png
| imagesize = 565x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The Range Mischief Officer has modified the trajectory to add a single random spin somewhere in the flight, but won't tell us where.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:Voice: There are reports of thunderstorms in the downrange area.

:Voice: The range safety officer has ordered a launch hold.

:Voice: But the range '''''danger''''' officer wants to launch the rocket toward the biggest thunderstorm.
:Voice 2: Okay, why do we even '''''have''''' that position?

==Trivia==
* '''This trivia section was created by a BOT'''
* The [https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/range_safety.png standard size] image was uploaded with a resolution/size larger than the supposed 2x version.
* This may have been an error.

{{comic discussion}}

2875: 2024

2024-01-01T23:54:14Z

AmossGuy: capitalization error in transcript

<noinclude>:''This page refers to the comic named "2024". For comic #2024, see [[2024: Light Hacks]].''</noinclude>
{{comic
| number = 2875
| date = January 1, 2024
| title = 2024
| image = 2024_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x553px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = It wasn't originally constitutionally required, but presidents who served two terms have traditionally followed George Washington's example and gotten false teeth.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by OBAMA'S TEETH - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

[[Ponytail]] observes that it's now 2024, which [[Cueball]] notes is an election year. Ponytail then replies in some form of exasperated tone that they "keep on happening".

After this, they then devolve onto a discussion about the former US president {{w|Barack Obama}}. Ponytail seems to be quite behind the times as she asks if Obama is still president (when he left in January 20th, 2017, which was 7 (!) years ago). Ponytail states that she liked him, but Cueball states that, due to the {{w|Twenty-second Amendment to the United States Constitution}}, he can't come back, having already served two terms. The only president to have actually served more than two terms (dying in office during his fourth term), was {{w|Franklin D. Roosevelt}}, who served prior to the 22nd Amendment.

The humor in the comic comes in the second half; Cueball and Ponytail discuss whether Obama is the same person, ironically misinterpreting the constitution, but then finding that in 30 years, Obama might be re-elected upon a philosophical technicality, or earlier through extreme dentistry.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Ponytail and Cueball are walking.]
:Ponytail: So this is 2024.
:Cueball: Yup. Guess it's an election year now.
:Ponytail: Again? Man, those just keep happening, huh?

:[Ponytail and Cueball now standing.]
:Ponytail: Who's the president these days, anyway? Is it still Obama?
:Cueball: What? No? He hasn't been... How do you not...

:[Ponytail and Cueball still standing.]
:Ponytail: Darn, I liked him. Is he running this time?
:Cueball: No, he's not allowed to.
:Ponytail: He's not? Why?
:Cueball: Constitution.

:[Ponytail checks her smartphone.]
:Phone: ''Amendment 22''
:Phone: No person shall be elected to the office of the president more than twice
:Ponytail: What?? C'mon...

:[Ponytail talking to Cueball.]
:Ponytail: Don't all your cells get replaced every seven years, Ship of Theseus-style? Is he even the same person?
:Ponytail: Maybe "no person shall be elected more than twice" isn't a prohibition, it's more of an observation, like "you can't step in the same river twice."

:[Zoom in on Cueball.]
:Cueball: Isn't the cell thing a myth?
:Cueball: I think tooth enamel has a turnover half-life of 30+ years. His teeth molecules are probably the same.

:[Ponytail heads off with a finger raised.]
:Ponytail: So if Obama just gets false teeth, he can run again! I need to talk to a dentist and a lawyer!
:Cueball: The Supreme Court is about to vote 9-0 to block your number.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Elections]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Biology]]

2875: 2024

2024-01-01T21:59:22Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2875
| date = January 1, 2024
| title = 2024
| image = 2024_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x553px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = It wasn't originally constitutionally required, but presidents who served two terms have traditionally followed George Washington's example and gotten false teeth.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:Ponytail: So this is 2024.
:Cueball: Guess it's an election year now.
:Ponytail: Again? Man, those just keep happening, huh?

:Ponytail: Who's the president these days, anyway? Is it still Obama?
:Cueball: What? No? he hasn't been... How do you not...

:Ponytail: Darn, I liked him. Is he running this time?
:Cueball: No, he's not allowed to.
:Ponytail: He's not? Why?
:Cueball: Constitution.

:[Ponytail checks her smartphone]
:Phone: ''Amendment 22''
:Phone: No person shall be elected to the office of the president more than twice
:Ponytail: What?? C'mon...

:Ponytail: Don't all your cells get replaced every seven years, Ship of Theseus-style? Is he even the same person?
:Ponytail: Maybe "no person shall be elected more than twice" isn't a prohibition, it's more of an observation, like "you can't step in the same river twice."

:Cueball: Isn't the cell thing a myth?
:Cueball: I think tooth enamel has a turnover half-life of 30+ years. His teeth molecules are probably the same.

:[Ponytail heads off with a finger raised]
:Ponytail: So if Obama just gets false teeth, he can run again! I need to talk to a dentist and a lawyer!
:Cueball: The Supreme Court is about to vote 9-0 to block your number.

{{comic discussion}}

2869: Puzzles

2023-12-18T21:07:48Z

AmossGuy: some missed an instance of "Hairbun" when changing it to "Jill"

{{comic
| number = 2869
| date = December 18, 2023
| title = Puzzles
| image = puzzles_2x.png
| imagesize = 328x455px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Why couldn't the amulet have been hidden by Aunt Alice, who understands modern key exchange algorithms?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by AUNT '''A'''MY, AS IN AN '''A'''WFUL CLUE FROM A CHILDREN'S BOOK - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}



The title text references {{w|Alice and Bob|Alice}}, a fictional character commonly used in discussions about cryptography. In those discussions, Alice is often sending and receiving encrypted messages, and she would be expected to be able to make a better puzzle than the one shown in the comic. Alice and Bob and other characters from the same set have been mentioned previously in xkcd, like in [[177: Alice and Bob]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:Hairy: Aunt Gertrude must have left a clue to the amulet's location.
:Jill: Hmm. Wait a minute.
:Jill: '''G'''ertrude. '''G'''.
:Hairy: As in "'''G'''round!"
:Jill: And "di'''G''' a hole!"
:Ponytail: I'll get a shovel!
:Cueball: To the yard!

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Some of the authors of books I read as a kid were '''''terrible''''' at designing puzzles.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]] [[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]] [[Category:Comics featuring Jill]] [[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]

2869: Puzzles

2023-12-18T20:09:23Z

AmossGuy:

2869: Puzzles

2023-12-18T19:53:17Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

1084: Server Problem

2023-12-15T16:58:20Z

AmossGuy: adjust code formatting

{{comic
| number = 1084
| date = July 20, 2012
| title = Server Problem
| image = server_problem.png
| titletext = Protip: Annoy Ray Kurzweil by always referring to it as the 'Cybersingularity'.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] has messed up his {{w|Linux server}} (which can have the prompt ~# or ~$), {{tvtropes|WalkingTechbane|apparently not for the first time}}. [[Megan]] offers to take a look at the PC and types in "ls" — a basic command that lists the files in the current directory. The computer returns a bizarre error message — it trips over one of the simplest commands, indicating that Cueball's system is messed up. ''Really'' messed up.

On Linux, most commands are executables usually found in either /bin or /usr/bin. The /usr/share folder, on the other hand, is where "architecture-independent shared data" is stored. Adobe is a software company that produces Acrobat and Photoshop. "android_vm" would likely be a virtual machine for Android. The .jar extension suggests a Java-language program. None of the above items are related to the command "ls", nor do they have anything to do with each other, with the semi-exception that Android is based on Java. Executables should also never be found within /usr/share or within directories named "example" or "doc" - indeed, by default Linux does not even look in the /usr/share directory for items that can be run unless the user {{w|PATH (variable)|tells it to do so by changing the $PATH variable}}. The presence of "ls.jar" within a folder called "android_vm" suggests Cueball was attempting to boot up a virtual Android device, but somehow wound up directing the Linux server to use the executable files meant for the virtual system instead of the correct ones in /bin or /usr/bin.

In the last frame Megan is bewildered by this result and asks ''"What did you do!?"''. Cueball suggest a course of action which mimics a common error message: "[X] is busy, please try again later." Obviously he has seen this type of message frequently enough to try it as a general cure in all similar cases (even scarier, there is a good possibility that his tech issues are so bizarre that it often works for him).

Megan then tells Cueball to "shut down the system and wait for the {{w|technological singularity|singularity}}," referring to a hypothetical future event when superintelligence can be artificially created. Since future superintelligent humans/computers transcend our comprehension, we can't predict or even understand what will happen after the singularity. One interpretation is that Megan is telling Cueball that his system is such a mess that it will take a post-singularity superintelligence to fix it (or run it in its current state, as only an intelligence beyond present comprehension would be capable of doing). It also indicates that either [[1782: Team Chat]] or [[1668: Singularity]] could be the sequel to this comic. Since the singularity is a hypothetical event that may never happen, or may happen at a date unimaginably far in the future, Megan is essentially telling Cueball to give up completely on fixing his server. This is her way of declaring that no human can fix or understand his server.

The title text is yet another [[:Category:Protip|protip]] from [[Randall]]. {{w|Ray Kurzweil}} is an author and futurist who has {{w|Singularity Summit|talked}} and {{w|The Singularity Is Near|written}} much about a ''{{w|technological singularity}}''. Presumably, mangling the jargon (by confusing the concept of the "singularity" with the science fiction term "{{w|cyberspace}}") is something Kurzweil (as an expert) would find annoying. Also, as Randall later pointed out in [[1573: Cyberintelligence]], the prefix "cyber" has not really been used for a decade...

==Transcript==
:[Cueball at his computer calls out for Megan who comes walking in to the frame.]
:Cueball: I, um, messed up my server again.
:Megan: I'll take a look. You have the ''weirdest'' tech problems.

:[Zoom in on only Megan who uses the root prompt on the computer.]
:<code>~# ls</code>

:[Megan stands next to the computer, Cueball sits behind her on his chair. The computer returns the following:]
:<code>/usr/share/Adobe/doc/example/android_vm/root/sbin/ls.jar:</code>
:<code>Error: Device is not responding.</code>

:[Megan turns towards Cueball who lifts his hands with palm up.]
:Megan: What did you ''do!?''
:Cueball: Maybe the device is busy. Should I try it later?
:Megan: You should shut down this system and wait for the Singularity.

== Trivia ==

* This is the first comic to have a high-resolution (pixel-doubled) version of its image.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Linux]]
[[Category:Protip]]
[[Category:Singularity]]
[[Category:Cueball Computer Problems]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

2868: Label the States

2023-12-15T16:08:57Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2868
| date = December 15, 2023
| title = Label the States
| image = label_the_states_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x500px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Even with a blank map, a lot of people can only name 45-50 of the 64 states.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a LEONIDA MAN - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:Geography challenge: can you label all the states?
:[An unlabelled map of the United States, with additional states added.]

:Geography Challenge: Can you label all the states?

:[A map of the United States, but instead of 50 states, there are borders for around 64.]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:US maps]]

2867: DateTime

2023-12-13T22:42:20Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2867
| date = December 13, 2023
| title = DateTime
| image = datetime_2x.png
| imagesize = 679x478px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = It's not just time zones and leap seconds. SI seconds on Earth are slower because of relativity, so there are time standards for space stuff (TCB, TGC) that use faster SI seconds than UTC/Unix time. T2 - T1 = [God doesn't know and the Devil isn't telling.]
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Ponytail is talking to Cueball.]
:Ponytail: Event #1 happened at time T1.
:Cueball: Okay.

:Ponytail: Then event #2 happened at time T2.
:Cueball: Mhmm.

:Ponytail: How would you calculate how much time elapsed between T1 and T2?

:[The comic splits into two paths, each with a caption at the top.]

:[Path 1]
:Caption: Normal person:
:Cueball: T2 minus T1.

:[Path 2]
:Caption: Anyone who's worked on datetime systems:
:Cueball: '''''It is impossible to know and a sin to ask!'''''

{{comic discussion}}

2858: Thanksgiving Arguments

2023-11-22T22:14:39Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2858
| date = November 22, 2023
| title = Thanksgiving Arguments
| image = thanksgiving_arguments_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = An occasional source of mild Thanksgiving tension in my family is that my mother is a die-hard fan of The Core (2003), and various family members sometimes have differing levels of enthusiasm for her annual tradition of watching it.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Cueball types on a computer:]
:Computer: ''How to win political arguments with your awful relatives at Thanksgiving dinner''

:Megan: You know, despite all the posts about it, surveys show most families don't actually argue about politics at Thanksgiving.*
:Footnote: <nowiki>*https://www.huffpost.com/entry/poll-nobody-fights-thanksgiving_n_5deece02e4b07f6835b7eab6</nowiki>

:Megan: Take ''your'' relatives. Their political opinions are basically fine.
:Megan: Maybe you should write about what ''they'' argue about?

:[Cueball types again:]
:Computer: ''How to win arguments about '''The Rise of Skywalker''' at your Thanksgiving dinner''
:Megan (off-panel): Aunt Katie ''does'' bring that up a lot, doesn't she.
:Cueball: This'll be year four.

{{comic discussion}}

2857: Rebuttals

2023-11-20T23:45:42Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2857
| date = November 20, 2023
| title = Rebuttals
| image = rebuttals_2x.png
| imagesize = 328x437px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The mainstream dogma sparked a wave of dogmatic revisionism, and this revisionist mainstream dogmatism has now given way to a more rematic mainvisionist dogstream.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:Cueball: It's become conventional wisdom that the backlash against the prevailing consensus led researchers to ignore inconvenient new evidence. However...

:[Caption below the panel:]
:In a field that's been around for a while, it can be hard to figure out how many levels of rebuttal deep you are.

{{comic discussion}}

1984: Misinterpretation

2023-11-14T01:11:38Z

AmossGuy: fix a link

{{comic
| number = 1984
| date = April 23, 2018
| title = Misinterpretation
| image = misinterpretation.png
| titletext = "But there are seven billion people in the world! I can't possibly stop to consider how ALL of them might interpret something!" "Ah, yes, there's no middle ground between 'taking personal responsibility for the thoughts and feelings of every single person on Earth' and 'covering your eyes and ears and yelling logically correct statements into the void.' That's a very insightful point and not at all inane."
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is complaining that people are mad at him ''again'' because of a misinterpretation of his statements. This is referenced by the comic's title. He complains that since (he believes) he is being perfectly clear, it cannot be his fault that everyone misinterprets him. The off-screen voice sarcastically agrees that communication is an activity that only involves one person; in fact, of course, it {{w|Models of communication|famously involves at least two}}.

Cueball speaks as though his communications are complete and perfect once he has finished making them. The reality is that communication can't be considered complete until the message has also been received and understood. Cueball is failing to take into account the need for partnership between sender and receiver, and doesn't realize that the problem may well be in the way he carries out his side of the transaction rather than in the way ''everybody'' else is carrying out theirs.

In the title text, Cueball then answers that he cannot possibly account for the many possible interpretations which the message, potentially reaching the whole world, could acquire. This is an example of the {{w|Nirvana fallacy}}. Cueball's idealized solution is to consider how every person on Earth would interpret the message, so Cueball rejects doing anything less as insufficient; however, actually figuring out how every person on Earth would interpret the message is unfeasible, so Cueball doesn't do that either. The reply comes once again sarcastically, deriding his point and saying that a middle ground between taking up such an effort and entirely avoiding it must be reached.

This avoidance is phrased using a [[762: Analogies|simile]] as “covering your eyes and ears and yelling logically correct statements into the void”, implying that no one would understand the logical sentences (thus the void), and would instead read them more naturally – and also that ignoring the appalled reaction of listeners to their own interpretation of the sentences is similar to covering your eyes and ears. This action makes communication more difficult through the popular{{Citation needed}} means of speech, text and sign language. If the hands are occupied with covering either part, then Braille communication is also impossible. Therefore, the action of “covering your eyes and ears” is a metaphor for deliberately making it more difficult to communicate with oneself. The simile might also mean that Cueball subconsciously rejects criticism as it would hurt his ego.

It is clear that Cueball is acting as a straw man to further Randall's point, and the off-panel character is portrayed as the (sarcastic) voice of reason.

Randall returns to a recurring theme in his comics, regarding, in contexts of communication, the responsibility of the speaker for how they are interpreted. Having gradually gotten less subtle, this theme is now laid bare, there being no joke other than the sarcasm. What follows is a chronological history of this theme.

*Much earlier than the other comics below, but related, [[169: Words that End in GRY]] is a surreal reprimand upon people who act smug when their bad communication is misunderstood.
*The title text of [[1028: Communication]] notes that “Anyone who says that they're great at communicating but 'people are bad at listening' is confused about how communication works.”
*The title text of [[1860: Communicating]] also asserts that the responsibility of a misunderstanding lies with the speaker, not the listener — a theme explored in the comic via the character Humpty Dumpty.
*The comic [[1911: Defensive Profile]] implies that a person who boasts of having “no filter” in their (social media) speech is actually merely insecure about making people mad with their statements.

This theme is part of the larger category of comics about [[:Category:Social interactions|social interactions]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is sitting in an office chair at a desk in front of a laptop with his hands raised above the keyboard. An off-panel person replies to his remarks.]
:Cueball: Ugh, people are mad at me again because they don't read carefully.
:Cueball: I'm being perfectly clear. It's not '''''my''''' fault if everyone misinterprets what I say.
:Off-panel person: Wow, sounds like you're great at communicating, an activity that famously involves just one person.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Social interactions]]

2850: Doctor's Office

2023-11-03T21:56:37Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2850
| date = November 3, 2023
| title = Doctor's Office
| image = doctors_office_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x291px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = "The police told me I can't be a doctor, but whenever they show up I just go into the Google Maps settings page I found and change the house to 'Police Headquarters' and then they have to do what I say."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:Beret Guy: Welcome to the doctor!
:Beret Guy: We're like librarians, but for your bones and blood.

:Beret Guy: Uh-oh! This beeper says you're too hot.
:Beret Guy: You should eat some of these little snacks that make you colder.

:Beret Guy: We can make holes in you, but you have to fill out this form first.
:Cueball: This is a New York Times crossword.
:Beret Guy: Don't worry, it's a Monday, so it's not too hard.

:Cueball: This '''''is''''' a doctor's office, right?
:Beret Guy: Yeah! It used to be my house, but I found the setting on Google Maps to change it.
:Beret Guy: Hey, wanna help find out what this box does? I bet it's loud!

{{comic discussion}}

2849: Under the Stars

2023-11-01T15:18:40Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2849
| date = November 1, 2023
| title = Under the Stars
| image = under_the_stars_2x.png
| imagesize = 672x258px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = If you live in Los Angeles (around 33°52'N, roughly the latitude of Hermosa Beach) the black hole in V404 Cygni passes over you each day. On Christmas Day it will be directly overhead around 2pm.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:Megan: I love sitting out under the stars.

:Cueball: ...It's daytime.
:Megan: Yeah, but the stars are all still up there.

:Megan: Constellations wheel overhead; they're just painted over with blue.
:Megan: Every sky is full of stars.

:Cueball: That's somehow terrifying.
:Megan: It's okay—just look at that sunny sky and tell yourself space isn't real.
:Megan: "Daytime" is us closing our eyes and pretending it makes infinity go away.

{{comic discussion}}

2846: Daylight Saving Choice

2023-10-25T13:34:30Z

AmossGuy: oops, shoulda looked at preview

{{comic
| number = 2846
| date = October 25, 2023
| title = Daylight Saving Choice
| image = daylight_saving_choice_2x.png
| imagesize = 231x386px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I average out the spring and fall changes and just set my clocks 39 minutes ahead year-round.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat is speaking at a lectern, flanked by Ponytail and Hairy.]
:Black Hat: From now on, everyone who likes daylight saving time should change their clocks, and everyone who doesn't, shouldn't.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:The government finally decides to put an end to all the arguments.

{{comic discussion}}

2846: Daylight Saving Choice

2023-10-25T13:33:53Z

AmossGuy: transcript

{{comic
| number = 2846
| date = October 25, 2023
| title = Daylight Saving Choice
| image = daylight_saving_choice_2x.png
| imagesize = 231x386px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I average out the spring and fall changes and just set my clocks 39 minutes ahead year-round.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat is speaking at a lectern, flanked by Ponytail and Hairy.]
:Black Hat: From now on, everyone who likes daylight saving time should change their clocks, and everyone who doesn't, shouldn't.

:[Caption below the panel:]
The government finally decides to put an end to all the arguments.

{{comic discussion}}

xkcd: volume 0

2023-10-14T15:23:04Z

AmossGuy: add list of comics included in book

[[File:xkcd_volume_0.jpeg|260px|right|thumb|The cover of the book]]{{incomplete|The article is missing more information and links about the book.}}

{{Quote|<nowiki></nowiki>''xkcd: volume 0'' is the first xkcd book! It features selections from the first 600 comics, including various author and fan favorites. It was lovingly assembled from high-resolution original scans of the comics (the mouseover text is discreetly included), and features a lot of doodles, notes, and puzzles in the margins.
|''[[Randall Munroe]]|[https://web.archive.org/web/20100701115034/http://store.xkcd.com/ Source]}}

'''''xkcd: volume 0''''' is a book by [[Randall Munroe]] released on August 24, 2010. It features a collection of comics personally chosen by the artist from the initial 600 entries of the webcomic. These comics were assembled from high-resolution original scans and include the original or, sometimes, a different title text. The book is available to [https://archive.org/details/2009Xkcd read in full on the Internet Archive].

The book is published by {{w|Breadpig}}, a company founded by Randall's friend Alexis, and their portion of the profits will go to build a school in Laos through the charity {{w|Room to Read}}.

==Included comics==
* [[10: Pi Equals]]
* [[242: The Difference]]
* [[249: Chess Photo]]
* [[123: Centrifugal Force]]
* [[214: The Problem with Wikipedia]]
* [[221: Random Number]]
* [[231: Cat Proximity]]
* [[20: Ferret]]
* [[21: Kepler]]
* [[30: Donner]]
* [[37: Hyphen]]
* [[82: Frame]]
* [[44: Love]]
* [[54: Science]]
* [[55: Useless]]
* [[85: Paths]]
* [[105: Parallel Universe]]
* [[108: M.C. Hammer Slide]]
* [[112: Baring My Heart]]
* [[114: Computational Linguists]]
* [[120: Dating Service]]
* [[116: City]]
* [[117: Pong]]
* [[124: Blogofractal]]
* [[128: dPain over dt]]
* [[134: Myspace]]
* [[135: Substitute]]
* [[136: Science Fair]]
* [[137: Dreams]]
* [[138: Pointers]]
* [[149: Sandwich]]
* [[152: Hamster Ball]]
* [[160: Penny Arcade Parody]]
* [[153: Cryptography]]
* [[159: Boombox]]
* [[157: Filler Art]]
* [[161: Accident]]
* [[162: Angular Momentum]]
* [[184: Matrix Transform]]
* [[163: Donald Knuth]]
* [[165: Turn Signals]]
* [[201: Christmas GPS]]
* [[177: Alice and Bob]]
* [[173: Movie Seating]]
* [[179: e to the pi times i]]
* [[191: Lojban]]
* [[210: 90's Flowchart]]
* [[200: Bill Nye]]
* [[182: Nash]]
* [[180: Canada]]
* [[215: Letting Go]]
* [[239: Blagofaire]]
* [[225: Open Source]]
* [[230: Hamiltonian]]
* [[240: Dream Girl]]
* [[247: Factoring the Time]]
* [[248: Hypotheticals]]
* [[253: Highway Engineer Pranks]]
* [[257: Code Talkers]]
* [[258: Conspiracy Theories]]
* [[262: IN UR REALITY]]
* [[276: Fixed Width]]
* [[274: With Apologies to The Who]]
* [[279: Pickup Lines]]
* [[275: Thoughts]]
* [[77: Bored with the Internet]]
* [[150: Grownups]]
* [[167: Nihilism]]
* [[144: Parody Week: A Softer World]]
* [[209: Kayak]]
* [[202: YouTube]]
* [[285: Wikipedian Protester]]
* [[472: House of Pancakes]]
* [[556: Alternative Energy Revolution]]
* [[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]]
* [[264: Choices: Part 1]]
* [[265: Choices: Part 2]]
* [[266: Choices: Part 3]]
* [[267: Choices: Part 4]]
* [[268: Choices: Part 5]]
* [[282: Organic Fuel]]
* [[280: Librarians]]
* [[320: 28-Hour Day]]
* [[316: Loud Sex]]
* [[284: Tape Measure]]
* [[287: NP-Complete]]
* [[290: Fucking Blue Shells]]
* [[303: Compiling]]
* [[291: Dignified]]
* [[305: Rule 34]]
* [[327: Exploits of a Mom]]
* [[333: Getting Out of Hand]]
* [[323: Ballmer Peak]]
* [[322: Pix Plz]]
* [[325: A-Minus-Minus]]
* [[340: Fight]]
* [[356: Nerd Sniping]]
* [[349: Success]]
* [[366: Your Mom]]
* [[369: Dangers]]
* [[372: To Be Wanted]]
* [[374: Journal]]
* [[377: Journal 2]]
* [[373: The Data So Far]]
* [[376: Bug]]
* [[380: Emoticon]]
* [[387: Advanced Technology]]
* [[386: Duty Calls]]
* [[412: Startled]]
* [[389: Keeping Time]]
* [[397: Unscientific]]
* [[391: Anti-Mindvirus]]
* [[393: Ultimate Game]]
* [[416: Zealous Autoconfig]]
* [[396: The Ring]]
* [[398: Tap That Ass]]
* [[420: Jealousy]]
* [[429: Fantasy]]
* [[434: xkcd Goes to the Airport]]
* [[435: Purity]]
* [[445: I Am Not Good with Boomerangs]]
* [[475: Further Boomerang Difficulties]]
* [[451: Impostor]]
* [[452: Mission]]
* [[463: Voting Machines]]
* [[500: Election]]
* [[481: Listen to Yourself]]
* [[486: I am Not a Ninja]]
* [[487: Numerical Sex Positions]]
* [[505: A Bunch of Rocks]]
* [[488: Steal This Comic]]
* [[511: Sleet]]
* [[530: I'm An Idiot]]
* [[513: Friends]]
* [[518: Flow Charts]]
* [[540: Base System]]
* [[569: Borders]]
* [[565: Security Question]]
* [[552: Correlation]]
* [[559: No Pun Intended]]
* [[591: Troll Slayer]]
* [[571: Can't Sleep]]
* [[592: Drama]]
* [[585: Outreach]]

[[Category:Books]]
{{xkcdmeta}}

2840: Earth Layers

2023-10-11T17:26:47Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2840
| date = October 11, 2023
| title = Earth Layers
| image = earth_layers_2x.png
| imagesize = 585x627px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The Earth's magnetic field is primarily generated by currents in the liquid outer core, though some geophysicists argue that an unexplained mismatch with models suggests that the Kinder toy contains a magnet.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic reimagines the internal structure of the earth.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:The layers of the Earth

:Lithosphere/crust (50/50 blend)
:Upper mantle
:Deep mantle
:Filler
:Vitreous humor
:Mechanical/HVAC layer
:Guacamole
:Cytoplasm
:Cork
:Insulation
:Seeds
:Pith
:Nougat
:Outer core
:Inner core
:Secret core
:Kinder toy capsule

{{comic discussion}}

2832: Urban Planning Opinion Progression

2023-09-29T22:22:32Z

AmossGuy: add a few links

{{comic
| number = 2832
| date = September 22, 2023
| title = Urban Planning Opinion Progression
| image = urban_planning_opinion_progression_2x.png
| imagesize = 675x2033px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = If they're going to make people ride bikes and scooters in traffic, then it should at LEAST be legal to do the Snow Crash thing where you use a hook-shot-style harpoon to catch free rides from cars.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DUTCH BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic follows [[Cueball]], [[Megan]], [[Knit Cap]] and [[Ponytail]] as they begin to favor pedestrian-centered design. In the first panel, Cueball and Megan complain about the common problem many car-centric cities face about not having enough space for all the cars, and give the naïve suggestion of making more space for cars. In the second panel, Knit Cap mentions how she is going to visit {{w|Amsterdam}}, a city known for its {{w|walkability}} and bike friendliness. Ponytail expresses concern over the popularity of cycling in the street presumably because cycling in the street is dangerous where she lives and so she expects it to be dangerous in Amsterdam.

In the third panel, Cueball discusses another problem many car-centric cities face which is that there are not a lot of bike paths. Since there is a limited amount of space on a street, cities face a dilemma on how much space they should allocate to pedestrians, cycles and vehicles. Car-centric cities often allocate the most space to cars, leaving less space for bikes and pedestrians. The default for cities is for cyclists just to cycle in the street with the cars, as the road vehicles they are. This, however, is considered by some to be significantly more dangerous than a city having dedicated bike lanes, which is why Ponytail was likely concerned in the second panel. (A recent study reported that painted bike lanes are more dangerous than no bike lane, and only protected bike lanes are safer: <span title="Conclusions: Protected bike lanes and buffered bike lanes had estimated protective effects on segments between intersections but estimated harmful effects at intersections. Conventional bike lanes had estimated harmful effects along segments and at intersections.">Garber, Michael D., et al: ''[https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2214140523001056 Bicycle infrastructure and the incidence rate of crashes with cars: A case-control study with Strava data in Atlanta]''. Journal of Transport & Health, '''32'''. September 2023: Received 13 February 2023; Received in revised form 10 July 2023; Accepted 14 July 2023; Available online 11 August 2023. doi:[https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jth.2023.101669 10.1016/j.jth.2023.101669]) This danger was discussed more in the fifth panel as well. From a wider perspective, however much you attempt to segregate different forms of transport (at junctions and other bottlenecks where space cannot be reserved), you'll always need to bring bicycles and traffic back into contact, briefly, and in circumstances where motorised traffic has become unused to sharing the roadspace with the lighter vehicles. This is unlike a more integrated place like Amsterdam where you are rarely going to be surprised by the presence of bicycles, overlook them and therefore cause an accident.

One editor found that Megan's comment in the sixth panel may be referring to lifted pickup trucks in addition to regular trucks, and related that pickup truck owners care a lot about the distance their vehicle is off the ground and so they will either purchase a pickup truck with a high ground clearance or raise it themselves, resulting in what is known as a lifted pickup truck. The belief is that a vehicle with higher ground clearance will keep them safe on the road, but that this comes at the cost of potentially hurting others who are in smaller vehicles or no vehicle at all. Another editor learned the opposite, that the elevated center of mass reduced safety due to reducing the stable tipping angle, and has only seen high clearance useful when driving on unpaved roads. The comment may refer to many large tractor trailer cabs or garbage trucks that if you move directly in front of the cab you can't see the driver and they can't see you. It is particularly dangerous for children.

{{w|Induced demand}} is an economic theory in which increasing the supply of a good or service causes the demand to rise faster than the increased supply, worsening the shortage. The most common example is traffic: some US cities have tried to alleviate traffic jams by widening the roads and highways, which incentivized more people to take up driving, more vehicles to route through their streets, or took potential funding from other transportation solutions, worsening the traffic jam problem. Conversely, other cities have tried removing traffic lanes or converting them to dedicated public transit lanes, and have reported a reduction in traffic congestion, due to people choosing other transportation options. Among urban planners, this is known as the {{w|Downs–Thomson paradox}}.

Cueball's comment in the second-to-last panel that "anything that makes a city a worse place to drive in makes it a better place to live, short of scattering random tire spikes on the road" is a slight exaggeration, although in the final panel Megan suggests that tire spikes might be a good idea after all. 

The title text references a cyberpunk book called "{{w|Snow Crash}}", by Neal Stephenson. An early scene in that book involves the equivalent of a skater using a magnet on a cable to attach onto the back of a pizza delivery vehicle. He swerves in order to dislodge her, she taunts him and attaches stickers to his vehicle.

=== What makes a city walkable? ===
As all of Europe{{actual citation needed}} agrees, urban planning (or zoning) must be seamlessly integrated with public transport planning. The central truth is that everybody is a pedestrian for some time, which also includes car drivers. Crucially, the average pedestrian is willing to walk about 2000 ft from their home to the next public transport stop, and an additional 2000 ft between the last public transport stop and their workplace. Opportunities for shopping and eating should exist at every connecting station, with the connections scheduled in a way that it both allows changing to the connecting train/tramway/bus immediately - as well as buying groceries.

All roads should have a sidewalk{{actual citation needed}}, which, of course, costs area, but make the pedestrians' lives much easier. But then, not only roads impact walkability. In the United States, many places open to the public are, by municipal ordinances, forced to provide enough parking space for [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUNXFHpUhu8 all customers at any given time], which leads to serious knock-on effects: Pedestrians must often cross a large and weather-exposed parking lot in order to shop. A building can often be only re-purposed if a neighboring building is bulldozed to create the necessary parking area. And tenants who live in an apartment, but do not own a car, are forced to pay for the parking space they do not need.

Another topic is subsidizing public traffic. Municipalities in Switzerland, for example, order bus connections - e.g. a hourly bus from 6 AM until 10 PM, and in exchange, they cover the deficit of any such connection. That way, families, who usually are better taxpayers, move to villages, and beginning with grade 5, 6 or 7, pupils can still easily commute to a district school.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:'''Typical urban planning opinion progression'''

:[Each panel is connected to a point on a timeline. Timeline is recognizable as the tread of a bicycle tire]

:Cueball: I wish there wasn't so much traffic to get into the city. They should put in more lanes.
:Megan: And more parking.
:Megan: Parking is so bad here.

:Knit Cap: I have to go to Amsterdam for work next week. I hear they all ride bikes there.
:Ponytail: Bikes are fine but people shouldn't ride them in the street! I worry I'm going to hit someone!

:Cueball: It would be nice if we had better transit options!
:Cueball: I tried a scooter. It was fun but I wish there were more bike paths.

:Megan: It's funny how widening roads to speed up traffic makes them more dangerous to walk near, making driving more necessary and creating more traffic.
:Megan: Really makes you think.

:Knit Cap: Visiting the Netherlands was cool!
:Knit Cap: Amsterdam is really neat.

:Cueball: We've ceded so much of our land to storing and moving cars, with the rest of us tiptoeing around the edges and making drivers mad for trespassing on "their" space.
:Cueball: Even though '''''we're''''' the ones in danger from '''''them!'''''

:Megan: Those giant trucks with front blind spots that keep hitting kids should be illegal.

:Knit Cap: We should be more like the Netherlands.
:Knit Cap: They design their streets to prioritize...

:[Cueball is frustrated.]
:Cueball: The problem is car culture. It's systemic.
:Cueball: I don't know if we can fix it.

:[Megan’s arms are thrown out, and her hair is bedraggled.]
:Megan: People approach road planning decisions from the point of view of drivers because that's how we're used to interacting with the city, so we make choices that make it more car-friendly.
:Megan: It's a vicious cycle.

:[Knit Cap is walking around with two Dutch flags raised in her hands.]
:Knit Cap: '''''Netherlands! Netherlands! Netherlands! Netherlands!'''''

:Cueball: Anything that makes a city a worse place to drive in makes it a better place to live, short of scattering random tire spikes on the road.

:Megan: Honestly, I think the city council should consider the tire spikes thing.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Knit Cap]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]

2835: Factorial Numbers

2023-09-29T22:06:22Z

AmossGuy: add transcript

{{comic
| number = 2835
| date = September 29, 2023
| title = Factorial Numbers
| image = factorial_numbers_2x.png
| imagesize = 628x481px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = So what do we do when we get to base 10? Do we use A, B, C, etc? No: Numbers larger than about 3.6 million are simply illegal.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT BEING ESCORTED OUT OF THE COMPUTER SCIENCE DEPARTMENT BY SECURITY - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:Variable-base Factoradic™ numbers

:{|
|Base 7||Base 6||Base 5||Base 4||Base 3||Base 2
|-
|3||5||3||0||1||1
|}

:{|
|Base 10||||Factoradic
|-
|1||—||1
|-
|2||—||10
|-
|3||—||11
|-
|4||—||20
|-
|5||—||21
|-
|6||—||100
|-
|7||—||101
|-
|
|-
|21||—||311
|-
|22||—||320
|-
|23||—||321
|}

:{|
|Base 10||||Factoradic
|-
|24||—||1,000
|-
|25||—||1,001
|-
|
|-
|5,038||—||654,320
|-
|5,039||—||654,321
|-
|5,040||—||1,000,000
|-
|
|-
|999,998||—||266,251,210
|-
|999,999||—||266,251,211
|-
|1,000,000||—||266,251,220
|-
|1,000,001||—||266,251,221
|}

:Cueball: Small numbers like seven or nineteen shouldn't use big numerals like "7" or "9".
:Cueball: I mean, "9" is the biggest numeral we have! It should be reserved for '''''big''''' numbers.
:Cueball: Small numbers should be written with small numerals like "1" or "2".
:Cueball: That's why my variable-base system uses...Hey! No, listen!

:Factorial numbers are the number system that sounds most like a prank by someone who's about to be escorted out of the math department by security.

{{comic discussion}}

2833: Lying

2023-09-26T03:51:03Z

AmossGuy: add transcript & character categories

{{comic
| number = 2833
| date = September 25, 2023
| title = Lying
| image = lying_2x.png
| imagesize = 4422x6653px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I was, at least at the start of this disastrous game night, your friend.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Cueball, Megan, Ponytail, and White Hat sit around a table.]
:Cueball: It's me. I can't look you in the eyes and tell you it's not. I'm sorry, I know this ruins everything.
:Cueball: I just need you to know that you're my friends and you can trust me.
:Megan: ...This is ridiculous.
:White Hat: Let's just play Taboo instead.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:I'm really bad at those Mafia-style games where you have to lie.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]

2832: Urban Planning Opinion Progression

2023-09-23T01:07:18Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */ fix typo

2832: Urban Planning Opinion Progression

2023-09-23T00:17:49Z

AmossGuy: add character categories

2832: Urban Planning Opinion Progression

2023-09-23T00:15:54Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

2831: xkcd Phone Flip

2023-09-20T21:57:43Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2831
| date = September 20, 2023
| title = xkcd Phone Flip
| image = xkcd_phone_flip_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x458px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Theranos partnership: Sorry, we know, but we signed the contract back before all the stuff and the lawyers say we can't back out, so just try to keep your finger away from the bottom of the phone.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by THE BOT FORTOLD BY THE FORTUNETELLER PROPHECY - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This is the 9th in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone]] series in which Randall explains his new joke phone designs with many strange and useless features. It is a reference to the somewhat recent {{w|Galaxy Z}} series, but emulating the typical {{w|paper fortune teller}}. 

The title text references the company that notably failed to live up to its promise to diagnose many health issues from a single drop of blood. Whether this phone does any better, or not, it ''will'' still take that drop of blood unless you're particularly careful.
From the top, going clockwise:

; Buy one get one

: A play on the phrase "Buy one get one free"

; Bending phone activates chemical flashlight

; SPF 15 Coating protects your face from websites

: Unclear how sunscreen on the phone protects you from website.

; Iatrogenic construction

: 'Iatrogenic' means 'physician caused', and usually refers to illnesses which are caused or worsened by medical malpractice. This may imply that the phone was made ''by'' doctors.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:Exfoliating screen
:Orthotic shape for arch support
:Single big pixel
:Ready to eat
:Hypoimmunogenic
:Up to 50% more
:Full-spectrum backlight optimized for plant growth
:Long-lasting main sequence battery
:Break glass to access apps

:Buy one get one
:Bending phone activates chemical flashlight
:SPF 15 coating protects your face from websites
:Iatrogenic construction
:All-vinyl data storage for maximum fidelity
:Locks in moisture
:National Weather Service partnership: phone is afraid of thunder
:One-click ''ruina montium''
:Free refills

:Introducing
:'''The xkcd Phone Flip'''
:''We actually didn't mean for it to do this''™

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|xkcd Phones]]

2830: Haunted House

2023-09-18T22:07:38Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2830
| date = September 18, 2023
| title = Haunted House
| image = haunted_house_2x.png
| imagesize = 278x349px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = You can leave at any time through the door over there. It's a Louisville door, so you'll need to find a compatible knob. No, don't be silly, that one is a Lexington knob! Of course it won't fit.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a PENNSYLVANIA BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
The ISO ({{w|International Organization for Standardization}}) and ANSI ({{w|American National Standards Institute}}) are organizations that create standards for things such as electrical sockets, so that they can have universal standardized forms everywhere (or at least across large areas). The haunted house is tailored to scare members of these organizations by suggesting a world where nothing is standardized (e.g. different electrical plugs from state to state), where normal haunted houses suggest a world where monsters such as zombies and vampires exist. The title text furthers the joke by suggesting that something normally trivially standardized (doorknobs) would be different from town to town.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:Ponytail: Welcome! If you need to charge your phones, note that this house has Pennsylvania wiring, but we have New Jersey and Delaware adapters available.
:Megan and Cueball: AAAAAA!

:[Caption below the panel:]
:The haunted house at the ISO/ANSI office halloween party

{{comic discussion}}

2821: Path Minimization

2023-08-29T02:48:48Z

AmossGuy: multiple cueballs category

{{comic
| number = 2821
| date = August 28, 2023
| title = Path Minimization
| image = path_minimization_2x.png
| imagesize = 562x559px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Of course you get an ice cream cone for the swimmer too! You're not a monster.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

In this comic, it appears that Cueball, standing on shore, is observing a swimmer who is presumably in distress. The comic illustrates 5 potential paths that can be taken to reach the swimmer, each with a different reason to make them viable.

The first path is a 45° angle away from Cueball, straight to the swimmer, which allows for the minimum possible distance to be traveled.

The second path travels at a 30° from Cueball to the water and then at a 20° angle to the swimmer. This path would take the shortest amount of time, as it allows for precise sideways movement as well as forward movement.

The third path travels at roughly a 23.2° angle to the water, maximizing the amount of time spent on land and thus minimizing the time spent swimming. Depending on one's swimming ability versus running ability, this could be the safest path to take.

The fourth path travels horizontal, along the beach, technically moving slightly ''away'' from the swimmer, but towards an arguabky more important goal: an ice cream stand in a straight line away from where Cueball is presently. After that detour, the path turns and aims towards the swimmer, as all the others do (although how one could eat ice cream whilst swimming to rescue someone, much less whilst carrying a second ice cream, is not explained).

The fifth and final path, barely visible directly above Cueball, is labeled as the path that ''maximizes'' time. This path, presumably, travels around the entire world, likely stopping for many, ''many'' rest breaks. It should be noted that, by the definition given, it is theoretically possible to stretch the maximum time taken out forever by simply walking away and never returning.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:Path that minimizes distance [A straight line from beach cueball to ocean cueball, bearing about 135]
:Path that minimizes time [A line from beach cueball to the waterline closer to horizontal, bearing about 120, then angling towards ocean cueball, bearing about 150]
:Path that minimizes swimming [A line from beach cueball to the waterline closest to ocean cueball, bearing about 105, then angling toward ocean cueball, bearing 180]
:Path that minimizes time until you get ice cream
:Path that maximizes time

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

2821: Path Minimization

2023-08-29T02:29:15Z

AmossGuy: add some categories

2821: Path Minimization

2023-08-29T02:22:55Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

2820: Inspiration

2023-08-26T02:25:08Z

AmossGuy: transcript

{{comic
| number = 2820
| date = August 25, 2023
| title = Inspiration
| image = inspiration_2x.png
| imagesize = 515x163px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = An apple fell on Isaac Newton's head and gave him the idea that the moon might be a tasty apple, though this turned out not to be true--the Apollo program eventually determined that it was just a desolate and bland Red Delicious.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball sits under a tree. An apple falls from the tree and hits him on the head.]
:Bonk

:[The view zooms out, showing the moon, which Cueball looks up at.]

:[Closeup on Cueball.]
:Cueball: ...

:Cueball: ''We should grow apples on the moon.''

{{comic discussion}}

2819: Pronunciation

2023-08-23T18:34:07Z

AmossGuy:

{{comic
| number = 2819
| date = August 23, 2023
| title = Pronunciation
| image = pronunciation_2x.png
| imagesize = 315x257px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I pronounce the 'u' in 'pronunciation' like in 'putting' but the 'ou' in 'pronounce' like in 'wound'.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[The word "Tuesday", with each letter labeled by a box with an arrow:]
:T: As in buffe'''t'''
:u: As in min'''u'''te
:e: As in r'''e'''cord
:s: As in u'''s'''e
:d: As in mope'''d'''
:a: As in b'''a'''ss
:y: As in g'''y'''ro

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Pet peeve: Ambiguous pronunciation guides

{{comic discussion}}

2810: How to Coil a Cable

2023-08-02T17:48:01Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2810
| date = August 2, 2023
| title = How to Coil a Cable
| image = how_to_coil_a_cable_2x.png
| imagesize = 366x713px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The ideal mix for maximum competitive cable-coiling energy is one A/V tech, one rock climber, one sailor, and one topologist.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a CLIMBING MARINE A/V TOPOLOGIST - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:How to Coil a Cable Properly

:Step 1
:Cueball: I need to buy a different brand of cable! This one always twists into spirals and gets tangled.

:Step 2
:White Hat: No! That's because of how you're coiling it!

:Step 3
:Ponytail / White Hat / Hairy: ...over-under method... ...figure-8... ...quarter-turn... ...flaking...

:Step 4
:Neatly coiled!

{{comic discussion}}

2804: Marshmallow

2023-07-19T12:54:18Z

AmossGuy: basic transcript

{{comic
| number = 2804
| date = July 19, 2023
| title = Marshmallow
| image = marshmallow_2x.png
| imagesize = 670x334px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The increasing number of graham crackers and chocolate bars in orbit has created a growing risk of Kessler s'mores.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:Smith: We're approaching atmospheric entry.
:Smith: All systems nominal.
:Fwip
:Smith: Houston, we're experiencing some oscillations. Vehicle is becoming difficult to control.
:Mission control: Smith, retract that stupid arm.
:Smith: No! It's not ready yet!

:[Caption below the panel:]
:In retrospect, the reentry marshmallow toasting module was a mistake.

{{comic discussion}}

2803: Geohydrotypography

2023-07-18T02:35:42Z

AmossGuy: basic transcript

{{comic
| number = 2803
| date = July 17, 2023
| title = Geohydrotypography
| image = geohydrotypography_2x.png
| imagesize = 339x389px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The Atlantic is expanding at about 10 ppm (points per month).
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:If you covered the surface of the Atlantic Ocean with twelve-point printed text, with the lines wrapping at the coasts, the expansion of the ocean basin due to plate tectonics would increase your word count by about 100 words per second.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:My hobby: Geohydrotypography

{{comic discussion}}

2802: Fireflies

2023-07-15T02:09:38Z

AmossGuy: basic transcript

{{comic
| number = 2802
| date = July 14, 2023
| title = Fireflies
| image = fireflies_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x573px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I feel bad for Earth 2 and their shadowflies.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:Cueball: So where is this spot?
:Megan: It's just up ahead.

:Megan: You know,
:Megan: fireflies didn't have to exist.

:Megan: The ocean has lots of bioluminescence, but it's less common on land.
:Megan: Creatures that glow are pretty rare here.

:Megan: So it's not some niche whose exploitation was inevitable.
:Megan: If insects hadn't stumbled on their fatty acid enzyme trick, Earth just wouldn't have fireflies.
:Megan: Ooh, look!
:Megan: They're starting!

:Cueball: I'm glad we got a planet that has these.
:Megan: Yeah, it's a good one.

{{comic discussion}}

2799: Frankenstein Claim Permutations

2023-07-08T03:33:32Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2799
| date = July 7, 2023
| title = Frankenstein Claim Permutations
| image = frankenstein_claim_permutations_2x.png
| imagesize = 596x612px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = When I began trying to form a new claim by stitching together these parts in such an unnatural way, some called me mad.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by MARY SHELLEY'S MONSTER - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
It's a common misconception about the names of the characters in {{w|Frankenstein}}, which Randall has previously touched upon in [[1589]] and [[2604]].

The title text is a reference to the Doctor's process of creating the Monster.
==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
{| class="wikitable"
|- style = "text-align: center;"
|Claim||Notes
|-
|"No, the monster in Mary Shelley's book is unnamed. Frankenstein is the doctor who created him."||This is the normal claim
|-
|"No, the monster in Mary Shelley's novel is named Frankenstein."||Also common, and not worth getting mad about IMO
|-
|"No, Frankenstein is the name of the author. The monster Mary Shelley created is unnamed."||At a glance this could pass for one of the normal claims
|-
|"No one knows who wrote the novel about Doctor Mary Shelley creating the monster Frankenstein."||I would read this book
|-
|"No, Frankenstein is the name of the doctor. The monster he created is Mary Shelley."||rowspan=2|Fully chaotic
|-
|"No, the doctor who creates Mary Shelley in Frankenstein's novel doesn't have a name."
|}
[[Category:Frankenstein]]
{{comic discussion}}

2799: Frankenstein Claim Permutations

2023-07-08T03:24:35Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2799
| date = July 7, 2023
| title = Frankenstein Claim Permutations
| image = frankenstein_claim_permutations_2x.png
| imagesize = 596x612px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = When I began trying to form a new claim by stitching together these parts in such an unnatural way, some called me mad.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by MARY SHELLEY'S MONSTER - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
See [[2604]]
==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
{| class="wikitable"
|Claim||Notes
|-
|"No, the monster in Mary Shelley's book is unnamed. Frankenstein is the doctor who created him."||This is the normal claim
|-
|"No, the monster in Mary Shelley's novel is named Frankenstein."||Also common, and not worth getting mad about IMO
|-
|"No, Frankenstein is the name of the author. The monster Mary Shelley created is unnamed."||At a glance this could pass for one of the normal claims
|-
|"No one knows who wrote the novel about Doctor Mary Shelley creating the monster Frankenstein."||I would read this book
|-
|"No, Frankenstein is the name of the doctor. The monster he created is Mary Shelley."||rowspan=2|Fully chaotic
|-
|"No, the doctor who creates Mary Shelley in Frankenstein's novel doesn't have a name."
|}

{{comic discussion}}

2799: Frankenstein Claim Permutations

2023-07-08T03:22:48Z

AmossGuy: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2799
| date = July 7, 2023
| title = Frankenstein Claim Permutations
| image = frankenstein_claim_permutations_2x.png
| imagesize = 596x612px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = When I began trying to form a new claim by stitching together these parts in such an unnatural way, some called me mad.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
{| class="wikitable"
|Claim||Notes
|-
|"No, the monster in Mary Shelley's book is unnamed. Frankenstein is the doctor who created him."||This is the normal claim
|-
|"No, the monster in Mary Shelley's novel is named Frankenstein."||Also common, and not worth getting mad about IMO
|-
|"No, Frankenstein is the name of the author. The monster Mary Shelley created is unnamed."||At a glance this could pass for one of the normal claims
|-
|"No one knows who wrote the novel about Doctor Mary Shelley creating the monster Frankenstein."||I would read this book
|-
|"No, Frankenstein is the name of the doctor. The monster he created is Mary Shelley."||rowspan=2|Fully chaotic
|-
|"No, the doctor creates Mary Shelley in Frankenstein's novel doesn't have a name."
|}

{{comic discussion}}