explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

855: 1999

2026-02-09T21:32:10Z

Aquillion: /* Explanation */ zombo.com was lost to a cybersquatter and no longer reflects the version that the comic refers to; updating link to a mirror.

<noinclude>{{distinguish|1999: Selection Effect}}</noinclude>
{{comic
| number = 855
| date = February 2, 2011
| title = 1999
| image = 1999.png
| titletext = 'Whoa, twenty-two in two hours!' 'Your site got twenty-two hundred hits in two hours?' 'No. Twenty-two. But still, that's like half the people on the internet!'
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a parody of the movie ''{{w|The Social Network}}'', a movie about the founding of the popular social network site Facebook. Here, scenes from the movie are reimagined to feature {{w|Zombo.com}} instead. Zombo.com, also known as Zombocom, is a website that was created in 1999 and using only {{w|Flash animations}}. The animation consists of a circle of quickly pulsating dots and a friendly deep male voice repeatedly welcoming the visitor to "Zombocom" and explaining that there was no limit to what could be done at the site, or rather, no limit except yourself. The message, a parody of how sites of the time used a flash introduction while the rest of the site loaded, repeats while, ironically, there is absolutely nothing that can be done at the site until the message completes, at which point a link saying "Sign up for our newZletter" appears, linking to a page saying that the selected option is not available yet. If the link is not clicked, the Flash player will reset. Thus, you can still do nothing on the site.
The humor of the parody comes in substituting Facebook, a site that, at the time this comic was made, was a useful and popular website; for Zombo.com, a novelty site which gained attention for its complete uselessness.

The original site was lost to a domain squatter, but an HTML5 version of the historical site (as it existed at the time the comic came out) is archived at [https://html5zombo.com/ html5zombo.com].

The last four panels are all direct parodies of specific scenes from ''The Social Network''. The second panel is a takeoff of the scene where Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg comes up with the idea for the site, saying that people like checking up on their friends and acquaintances, so why not build a site that lets them do that? Because Zombo.com has no actual function, in this version the founder can't specify what he wants the site to do.

The third panel is taken from a scene where Zuckerberg is seen intensely focused on programming the site, his headphones insulating him from the outside world. His assistant describes his state as "wired in" and demands that he not be disturbed. In the comic, as Zombo.com is a very simple site which does not need much coding, the assistant offers the possibility that the founder is stoned. Indeed, it's one of the few conceivable reasons that one would be this focused on such a useless website. As "the infinite is possible" is a phrase in Zombo.com's audio clip, it is also plausible that the founder is currently recording the clip, and the assistant is telling the others not to bother him for fear of adding background noise to the clip.

The fourth panel is taken from a scene where co-founder Eduardo Saverin tries to push for monetization of Facebook, while investor and consultant Sean Parker argues against. The actual dialogue is "You don't even know what the thing is yet. How big it can get, how far it can go. This is no time to take your chips down. A million dollars isn't cool, you know what's cool? A billion dollars." Here, instead of a billion dollars, the Parker character argues "Circles," playing off Zombo.com's un-lucrative nature and the silliness of the design.

The final panel is taken from a scene where Parker advises Zuckerberg to change the name of the site from TheFacebook to just Facebook, calling it "cleaner." Here, he advises to change the name of Zombo.com to just Zombocom. Why the website is pronounced "Zombocom" rather than the more expected Zombo ''Dot'' Com is a mystery known only to its creators; perhaps, like in the movie, they also considered it cleaner.

The title text is a reference to a quote from the movie, specifically a conversation between Zuckerberg and Delpy (Zuckerberg is the first quote). In the actual film, Zuckerberg answers "twenty-two thousand" rather than just "twenty-two". This is a joke to the effect that, back in 1999, there weren't really that many people on the internet, and very few of them would have gone to Zombo.com.

==Transcript==
:[Three sections of white text in a black background.]
:It's easy to forget, as we heap awards on ''The Social Network'',
:That before there was Facebook, MySpace, or even Friendster...
:One website dreamed bigger than them all.

:[Cueball and another are talking.]
:Cueball: People like doing stuff. So why not build a website that offers that?
:Another: Offers what? What would I do there?
:Cueball: Anything! The only limit is yourself!

:[Another scene. Hacker, wearing headphones and oblivious, working at computer. Cueball runs in to interrupt; Another holds him back.]
:Cueball: Hey, we need more—
:Another: Don't–he's wired in.
:Hacker: ''The infinite is possible.''
:Another: Or baked. It's hard to tell.

:[Cueball and another at table in bar.]
:Cueball: It's time to monetize. We could make millions!
:Another: No way. A million dollars isn't cool. You know what's cool?
:Cueball: A billio–
:Another: ''Circles.''

:[Long shot in bar. Drinks on table in foreground; dim figures in doorway in background; Cueball, alone, shouting into the distance.]
:Cueball: Hey–a tip: drop the dot.
:Cueball: Just "Zombocom".
:Cueball: It's cleaner.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:Social networking]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

3134: Wavefunction Collapse

2025-08-31T18:17:17Z

Aquillion: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3134
| date = August 27, 2025
| title = Wavefunction Collapse
| image = wavefunction_collapse_2x.png
| imagesize = 656x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Wavefunction collapse is only one interpretation. Under some interpretations, graduate students also have souls.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created BY A SOUlFUl PARTICLE DETECTOR. Should the reference to unsolved problem be removed? Those comics are very different to this and the other two mentioned as it is three different things not three replies to one question. And cursed is not the same a wrong or chaotic!}}

This comic presents three possible responses to a common question posed by undergraduates upon confronting the {{w|Measurement problem|problem of measurement}} in quantum mechanics - does the apparently privileged role of subjective or conscious {{w|Observer (quantum physics)|observers}} in wavefunction collapse imply the existence of human souls? The 'Bad' option shows Cueball telling his student that everybody has a soul, and their individual consciousness affects reality in some way. The 'good' option shows Cueball telling his student that consciousness doesn't play a role at all, and that it is 'just a physical measurement'. The 'chaotic' option shows Cueball apparently observing that the wave function collapses only when ''he'' looks at it, because he is special in some way (in this case, Cueball is a professor while Hairy is the undergraduate student).

That quantum states exist as probability density distributions, but are only ever observed in definite states, begs the question of how the quantum world transitions into the classical world. The (historically) most popular {{w|Copenhagen interpretation|interpretation}} posits that {{w|wave function collapse}} occurs upon the measurement of a quantum state, in which the multiple mathematically possible states resolve into a definite state, without explicitly defining precisely when this "collapse" occurs, or what defines "measurement;" in fact, when measuring, say, an electron in a superposition of two states, wavefunction collapse could occur at any stage from the electron interacting with the detector, to the detector recording the measurement, to the scientist observing the recording. A famous though experiment, {{w|Schrödinger's cat}}, takes this to the extreme: if a cat is placed a box with a decaying radioisotope that upon decay triggers a gas bomb that kills the cat, shouldn't this place the cat-bomb-isotope-box system into a mixed state that only undergoes wavefunction collapse upon opening and observing whether the cat is alive or dead? The Copenhagen interpretation is agnostic to this question, only confirming that the cat will have resolved into it's alive or dead state at or before observation. The {{w|Consciousness causes collapse}} postulate endorsed by the "bad" panel -- unfashionable now, but taken seriously historically -- posits that the conscious observation is indeed what triggers wave-function collapse. The 'good' panel, rather flippantly, seems to endorse a more modern {{w|Quantum decoherence|decoherence}}-based interpretation - that every interaction inside the cat-box system is a "measurement" that destroys the superposition well before the human observer enters the picture. Finally, the `chaotic` option is far more radical and sollipsistic than the `bad` - it's not merely conscious observation that causes collapse, but PhD-holding and tenured consciousness.

Good, bad, and chaotic are likely references to the {{w|Alignment (Dungeons & Dragons)|alignment system}} in the role-playing game {{w|Dungeons & Dragons}}. In D&D, roles are characterized by their morality (good/neutral/evil) and their views about order (lawful/neutral/chaotic).

The title text continues the chaotic option. Graduate students are intermediate between undergraduate and professors. It is unclear whether graduate students can cause waveform collapse, and therefore have souls.

==Transcript==
:[Hairy is sitting behind a desk with one a hand on the desktop and the other in his lap. He is looking up at Cueball, who is standing in front of the desk. Hairy is asking a question:]
:Hairy: If the wavefunction only collapses when I observe it, does that mean my consciousness affects the universe?

:[Three panels follows showing three possible responses from Cueball. Each panel has a label above, written inside a small rectangle that is overlaid on the top left of each panel. Each panel shows the same zoom in on the top half of Cueball.]

:[Panel 1]
:Bad:
:Cueball: Yes. Quantum entanglement proves that we all have souls.

:[Panel 2]
:Good:
:Cueball: No. Consciousness plays no role here. Its just physical measurement.

:[Panel 3]

2865: The Wrong Stuff

2023-12-13T19:50:43Z

Aquillion: more clarity on the composition of horses not being made of wood.

{{comic
| number = 2865
| date = December 8, 2023
| title = The Wrong Stuff
| image = the_wrong_stuff_2x.png
| imagesize = 351x513px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The phantom found Edward Everett Hale a century too early; by the time we invented satellites, the specifics of his 'brick moon' proposal were dismissed as science fiction.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a TRAIN MADE OF 1977 SOVIET URANIUM - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
Multiple times in history, there have been incidents where companies, governments, and engineers have proposed or developed plans for large vehicles composed of unconventional materials. One example is {{w|Project Habakkuk}} (mentioned in the comic), an aircraft carrier which was to be composed of pykrete, a mixture of wood pulp and ice. The comic imagines that all of these proposals are linked together by a single "Material Phantom," a ghost which haunts engineers and convinces them to design giant vehicles made of impractical materials.

The three "wrong material vehicles" mentioned in the comic are:

*{{w|The Spruce Goose}} - An actual {{w|flying boat}} made, in spite of its name, almost entirely out of {{w|birch}} wood. Most modern planes are constructed out of aluminum, some other metal/alloy or (partially) out of carbon / glass fibre composites (CFRC / GFRC). Notably, despite being built out of the "wrong" material (due to wartime restrictions on aluminum usage, the use of birch wood was the next best option) the plane did make a single 26-second flight in 1947 before production halted due to the end of the war. The plane is currently on display at the {{w|Evergreen Aviation & Space Museum}} in {{w|McMinnville, Oregon}}, {{w|United States}}. More notably, other wooden aircraft of that era, such as the {{w|De_Havilland_Mosquito|De Havilland Mosquito}}, were wildly successful, strongly indicating that the Goose's problem was not that it was made of wood. Many early planes made use of wood in their construction, and the skills and knowledge to build an airframe of that kind were still readily available in that era, in a way that they might not be today.
*{{w|Project Habakkuk}} - A proposed aircraft carrier whose hull was to be made out of pykrete (a mixture of wood pulp and ice). It would have had several advantages had it been built when it was supposed to be (1943): it would have been able to guard the vital wartime North Atlantic supply routes between the USA and United Kingdom, as it would have been a base for fighter and reconnaissance missions; it would have been able to be easily camouflaged as an innocuous iceberg, and it was both stronger than steel (which the Mythbusters proved in a 2008 episode) and did not require voids between the structural elements in order to be buoyant (so could absorb a lot of damage and cannot spring leaks). The reason it was never fully built was because incredibly high requirements were placed on the project far exceeding the original concept, causing expense and engineering challenges to mount until it wasn't much cheaper than traditional steel-alloy hulls, from which ships continue to be built today, given that large quantities of metal were pulled in to prevent the ship from warping under its own mass via extra cooling and structure (although the abandoned prototype itself lasted for several years before it finally melted). There were also now airfields available to use in various Atlantic islands that could close the air-gap in coverage without having to (effectively) build their own floating island from scratch.
*{{w|Trojan Horse}} - A mythological, giant wooden horse, supposedly used by {{w|Ancient Greece|the Greeks}} to invade the city of {{w|Troy}}. Actual horses are composed, like any other animal, out of meat, bone, and other tissues and bodily fluids, rather than wood.{{citation needed}} In addition, the interior of the Trojan Horse was composed of Greek warriors rather than horse innards.

The title text references 19th-century author {{w|Edward Everett Hale|Edward Everett Hale}} and his science fiction novella ''{{w|The Brick Moon}},'' the earliest known depiction of an artificial satellite and a scientifically-accurate GPS system in fiction. The novella is, of course, just a sci-fi story, but the title text states that Hale was actually approached by the Material Phantom, and the novella was a serious proposal for a moon made out of bricks.

The title "the Wrong Stuff" may be a play on {{w|The Right Stuff}}, a book/movie/TV series about the pilots engaged in U.S. postwar research with experimental rocket-powered, high-speed aircraft and the astronauts of {{w|Project Mercury}}. In that title, "the right stuff" refers to the figurative material that these men were made of which gave them the bravery to embark on these missions.

==Trivia==
This comic was uploaded with the "the" in "the Wrong Stuff" being entirely lowercase, breaking the normal title case used for XKCD comic titles. Possibly another word was initially intended to come before "the", in which case lowercasing "the" would be correct. xkcd displays lowercase letters in titles with {{w|small caps}}, making the lowercase "the" less obvious than it is in the true lowercase used on explainxkcd.

However, it's worth noting that the comic title has since been changed to "The Wrong Stuff," with "the" capitalized as per standard title case.

Every September, Adult Fans of Lego who like spaceships have a month long build event called SHIPtember (SHIP stands for Seriously Huge Investment in Parts) where spaceships are actually built out of bricks: Lego bricks!

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[A ghost is approaching Cueball in a workshop. They are surrounded by shop equipment, such as a table with a press on it, and a small pile of what appears to be lumber. Cueball is backing away from the ghost, holding his hands up defensively.]
:Ghost: oooOOOOOOoooo
:[The "ooooo"s of the ghost are written in wavy letters of varying sizes]
:Ghost: ''Build a spaceship out of bricks!''
:Ghost: oooooOOOOOOOOoo
:Cueball: No! Go away!

:[Caption below the panel:]
:The Spruce Goose, the Project Habakkuk Ice Ship, and the Trojan Horse were all work of the Material Phantom, a ghost that wanders the Earth convincing engineers to make giant vehicles out of the wrong stuff.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Engineering]]

2766: Helium Reserve

2023-04-24T00:36:52Z

Aquillion:

{{comic
| number = 2766
| date = April 21, 2023
| title = Helium Reserve
| image = helium_reserve_2x.png
| imagesize = 347x253px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The government has been trying to sell off the Federal Helium Reserve for a few years now, but the sale has been on hold while they try to figure out how to explain this situation to buyers.
}}

==Explanation==

The {{w|National Helium Reserve|Strategic National Helium Reserve}} is a reserve of helium in the United States, which holds more than 1 billion cubic meters of helium. Apparently, in this comic, [[Cueball]] was hired to manage the Reserve, and due to the fact that the caption says that he can not explain anything out loud, it can be inferred that he used all of it by repeatedly inhaling the helium supply, so speaking would instantly give away where the helium has gone since the helium would make his voice squeaky.

Another much more realistic but admittedly less funny explanation is that Cueball didn't use up all the helium frivolously: helium is lighter than air, and once released into the atmosphere, it escapes into space and can never be recovered. A major leak in the Reserve would simply mean that all the helium is lost, and if it happened under Cueball's watch, he'd have to be held responsible.

The title text addresses the real-world privatization of the Reserve, first selling off the helium itself and then the sale of the storage facility. This has been a drawn out process because of political disagreements, however the title text implies the simpler explanation that the government has also been inhaling the helium.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[An officer wearing a peaked cap is talking to Cueball. There is a "National Strategic Helium Reserve" building in the background.]
:Officer: You were in charge of guarding the national helium reserve. So where did it go?!

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Unfortunately, there's no good way for me to answer this question out loud.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Characters with hats]]

Talk:977: Map Projections

2023-01-09T07:13:03Z

Aquillion: /* Wording disagreement */

I have a Plate Carrée hanging on my wall myself. Never failed me yet. '''[[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 07:05, 2 February 2013 (UTC)

I like the Azimuthal Equidistant (equatorial aspect) the best. - not Pennpenn. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.43|108.162.221.43]] 01:15, 17 December 2015 (UTC)

You can explore and compare different map projections and their distortions (using Tissot’s indicatrix and triangulation of sphere) in an interactive blog post '''[http://mjmdavis.com/showing/2017/05/16/how-to-read-maps.html The problem with maps]''' by Michael Davis --[[User:JakubNarebski|JakubNarebski]] ([[User talk:JakubNarebski|talk]]) 14:58, 26 May 2017 (UTC)

Go check out that site carefully though most of the data is accurate, some of the media is not, for example the two side by side Google maps satellite images of cars and the text saying how a map projection changes the apparent size of the cars. Well if you open up both links you will see they are at different zoom levels, one at a scale of 50 feet per unit and the other at 100 feet so yes being twice the zoom the cars are going to appear larger then the image right next to it. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.231|162.158.62.231]] 12:04, 23 August 2017 (UTC)

Btw, this comic is given in ''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lR7s1Y6Zig What Does Earth Look Like?]'' of Vsause where these projections are discussed. --[[User:Ата|Ата]] [[User talk:Ата|(talk)]] 10:38, 3 September 2017 (UTC)

;Dymaxion
Dymaxion is clearly the best. There's nothing like a map made out of an unfolded d20. [[User:Alpha|Alpha]] ([[User talk:Alpha|talk]]) 19:43, 23 February 2013 (UTC)

: Makes you wonder what if a dodecahedron had been used instead of an icosahedron. --[[User:Quicksilver|Quicksilver]] ([[User talk:Quicksilver|talk]]) 18:02, 17 August 2013 (UTC)

::Here you go: http://www.progonos.com/furuti/MapProj/Normal/ProjPoly/Foldout/Dodecahedron/dodecahedron.html - [[User:Frankie|Frankie]] ([[User talk:Frankie|talk]]) 16:40, 23 July 2015 (UTC)

::Oh noes, Progonos map site has shut down. Alternatives: http://www.csiss.org/map-projections/Miscellaneous.html and https://lynceans.org/all-posts/polyhedral-projections-improve-the-accurately-of-mapping-the-earth-on-a-2d-surface/ - [[User:Frankie|Frankie]] ([[User talk:Frankie|talk]]) 23:14, 11 July 2019 (UTC)

;Quincunx
Peirce Quincuncial has 4 non-conformal points, but not the 4 corners, which are the south pole, but instead are the 4 midpoints of the sides. These are on the equator and seem to be 90 degrees apart.--DrMath 06:30, 30 August 2013 (UTC)
: I love Peirce Quincuncial, yet I slept throughout that "Inception". [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.228|141.101.99.228]] 11:36, 27 January 2014 (UTC)
: I'm surprised nobody thought of "''really'' looking at your hands" as a hint that person that likes this projection is under influence of LSD or similar drug. As this surely is a thing that you do. (and you'll think of it next time you smoke your joint - inception!) --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.254.137|108.162.254.137]] 17:29, 7 December 2014 (UTC)

Plus it has a picture of a man looking at his hand and a man looking at the man looking at his hand.[[User:Weatherlawyer| I used Google News BEFORE it was clickbait]] ([[User talk:Weatherlawyer|talk]]) 14:39, 22 January 2015 (UTC)

xkcd 1051's title text - "meta lucid dreaming". I really got excited that there was an article about and ironically, it leads to meta and lucid dreaming separately. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.55.67|173.245.55.67]] 21:23, 25 March 2014 (UTC)BK201

The common video game trope of "the far east of the world is connected to the far west, and the far north likewise to the far south" is popularly resolved by saying that those game worlds are toroidal shapes. (For a particular reference, I am thinking of the SNES and PSX era Final Fantasy games (4-9.)) But sometime in the last year, I got the idea that you could also resolve that geographical conflict (and claim they are spherical) by the logic that the "world map" you see in those games (where they have one) is a Peirce Qunincuncial map. Is my logic sound? [[User:Boct1584|Boct1584]] ([[User talk:Boct1584|talk]]) 15:31, 28 March 2015 (UTC)

The explanation for the Peirce Quincuncial seems to miss the fact that Randall is implying that anyone who likes this map is most likely high. Getting lost in deep thought over things like your hands, or sitting in a dark theater for 6 hours to wrap your head around Inception...these are all very stereotypical "has smoke a lot of marijuana" behaviors. {{unsigned ip|108.162.216.21}}

The Quincuncial map is one of few maps that can tile infinite plane such that any 2 arbitrarily close points on the plane correspond to 2 arbitrarily close points on globe and vice versa.

;Waterman

In actual fact, the Waterman butterfly map used a truncated octahedron based upon the mathematics of close packing of spheres and is not at all based upon any of CaHill's work/math.
-- steve waterman {{unsigned ip|65.92.20.61}}
:Perhaps the explanation should mention that Waterman himself signed up at forum.xkcd.com and vigorously denied that his map has anything to do with Cahill. At the time, it was unclear whether the account was really Waterman, or just a troll trying to make him look bad. - [[User:Frankie|Frankie]] ([[User talk:Frankie|talk]]) 21:39, 25 March 2014 (UTC)

;Kavrayskiy VII
Kavrayskiy is the best projection, despite being so far out of the mainstream that no-one west of Ukraine has seen one for the past 20 years. {{unsigned ip|173.245.54.64}}
:Wow, I looked into it and it really seems like an excellent projection. It's been a while since I've looked at projections but I think it's my new favourite as it has everything that I've been looking for in a projection. It's a more accurate (in extremes) and more pleasing Robinson projection that still has a reasonable amount cut off the top. Also, the indicatrix for it is very simple, as is the formula, and simple things please simple minds (like mine, apparently) -- without taking it to an extreme like the equirectangular projection does. I swear I've come across it before, but then again I grew up in a country which wasn't far from the Eastern Bloc. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.214|141.101.98.214]] 14:51, 5 November 2014 (UTC)

;Sphere
To be fair, what is drawn is an orthographic azimuthal projection.--[[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.153|108.162.216.153]] 18:59, 14 December 2014 (UTC)

GLOBES ARE THE BEST although my enormous Winkel Tripel hasn't done too bad. {{unsigned ip|108.162.219.9}}

Airline food is never microwaved, and is chilled rather than frozen. Also the problems aren't limited to storage and re-heating, there are technical considerations with low air pressure, dehydrated air etc. and concerns over strong smells. I edited the relevant section. [[User:AmbroseChapel|AmbroseChapel]] ([[User talk:AmbroseChapel|talk]]) 07:00, 11 September 2017 (UTC)

"Here is what it says about you" is a common phrase in online personality quizzes, pages and other things. {{unsigned ip|162.158.167.234}}

Randall Hates New Zealand. [[User:Koro Neil|Koro Neil]] ([[User talk:Koro Neil|talk]]) 03:40, 7 January 2019 (UTC)

Isn't the "skeleton inside" thing a reference to Ray Bradbury's "The Skeleton" [[User:Shadowsapex|Shadowsapex]] ([[User talk:Shadowsapex|talk]]) 08:32, 27 January 2019 (UTC)

== Wording disagreement ==

Loodog and I disagree about the wording of the Peters map explanation.

The previous version of the text (written by LCarsos in 2012):
: ''Anyone who loves such a politically charged map that has become popular by way of marketing stunts, Randall would rather not have anything to do with.''
Loodog's version of the text:
: ''The implication is that the fans of this map are pompously concerned with social justice, and willing either to lie or convey marketing mistruths to promote that cause.''

I believe Loodog's wording is excessively non-neutral, and the old wording should be restored. - [[User:Frankie|Frankie]] ([[User talk:Frankie|talk]]) 19:29, 20 November 2019 (UTC)

: FWIW, I disagree that Peters fans are "pompously concerned with social justice". IMO, they are just assholes who enjoy using the terminology of social justice as their cudgel. People who genuinely care about social justice don't use Peters.

: Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch, and the International Organization for Migration are three of the world's largest social justice organizations. Each of them has been described as "pompous" by detractors. <ref>https://www.google.com/search?q=%22amnesty+international%22+pompous</ref> <ref>https://www.google.com/search?q=%22human+rights+watch%22+pompous</ref> <ref>https://www.google.com/search?q=IOM+~migration+pompous</ref> None of them use Peters map projection. <ref>https://www.google.com/search?q=world+map+site:amnesty.org&tbm=isch</ref> <ref>https://www.google.com/search?q=world+map+site:hrw.org&tbm=isch</ref> <ref>https://www.google.com/search?q=world+map+site:iom.int&tbm=isch</ref> AI & HRW use a mix of Hobo-Dyer, Equirectangular, and probably Mercator. IOM uses something rounded (probably Robinson or W-T), Equirectangular, and Mercator. - [[User:Frankie|Frankie]] ([[User talk:Frankie|talk]]) 19:34, 20 November 2019 (UTC)
::I'm inclined to agree; certainly we should be careful about calling people "pompous" in the article voice. I went back to the older wording but added "...and false claims..." after marketing stunts, which seems to have been the main thing that the person who changed it objected to and which can be stated more neutrally like that. --[[User:Aquillion|Aquillion]] ([[User talk:Aquillion|talk]]) 07:13, 9 January 2023 (UTC)

== Hemispheric Interrupted Mollweide ==

Still disappointed that Randall didn't include the '''BEST''' projection: Interrupted Mollweide Hemispheres. It combines key aspects from the clean math of Equirectangular, the values of Hobo-Dyer, the circularity of Van Der Grinten, the flattening of Homolosine, and the hipness of Winkel Tripel. - [[User:Frankie|Frankie]] ([[User talk:Frankie|talk]]) 15:09, 31 October 2022 (UTC)
:Maybe next time [[User:While False|While False]] ([[User:While False/explain xkcd museum|'''museum''']] | [[User talk:While False|talk]] | [[special:Contributions/While_False|contributions]] | [[special:Log/While_False|logs]] | [[Special:UserRights/While_False|rights]]) 19:00, 31 October 2022 (UTC)

977: Map Projections

2023-01-09T07:11:41Z

Aquillion: /* Gall–Peters */ tweak

{{comic
| number = 977
| date = November 14, 2011
| title = Map Projections
| before = [[#Explanation|↓ Skip to explanation ↓]]
| image = map_projections.png
| titletext = What's that? You think I don't like the Peters map because I'm uncomfortable with having my cultural assumptions challenged? Are you sure you're not... ::puts on sunglasses:: ...projecting?
}}
{{TOC}}
==Explanation==
{{w|Map projection}}, or how to represent the spherical Earth surface onto a flat support (paper, screen...) to have a usable map, is a long-time issue with very practical aspects (navigation, geographical shapes and masses visualization, etc.) as well as very scientific/mathematical ones, involving geometry or even abstract algebra among other things. There is no universal solution to this problem: Any 2D map projection will always distort in a way the spherical reality. Many projections have been proposed in various contexts, each intending to minimize distortions for specific uses (for nautical navigation, for aerial navigation, for landmass size comparisons, etc.) but having drawbacks from other points of view. Some of them are more frequently used than others in mass media and therefore more well-known than others, some are purely historical and now deprecated, some are very obscure, etc.

[[Randall]] suggests here the idea that someone's "favorite" map projection can reveal aspects of their personality, then goes through a series of them to show what they can mean.

He may actually believe that all map projections are in a way bad. This could be inferred from the fact that he much later began publishing a series of [[:Category:Bad Map Projections|Bad Map Projections]].
===Mercator===
[[File:MercatorProjection.jpg|frame|The Mercator projection]]
The {{w|Mercator projection}} was introduced by Flemish cartographer Gerardus Mercator in 1569. The main purpose of this map is to preserve compass bearings; for example 13 degrees east of north will be 13 degrees clockwise from the ray pointing toward the top of the map, at every point. A mathematical consequence is the mapping is conformal, i.e. if two roads meet at a certain angle on the surface of the Earth, they will meet at that same angle on the map. It also follows that at every point the vertical and horizontal scales are the same, so locally i.e. considering only a small part of the map, geographical features (shapes, angles) are well represented, which helps a lot in recognizing them on-the-field, or for local navigation in that small part only. For this reason, that projection (or a close variant) is used in several online mapping services (such as Google Maps), which means that it is frequently encountered by the general public. A straight line on the map corresponds to a course of constant bearing (direction), which was very useful for nautical navigation in the past (and thus made that projection very well-known).

However, from a global point of view, this projection is radically incorrect in how it shows the size of landmasses (for instance, Antarctica and Greenland seem gigantic), and furthermore, it always excludes a small region around each pole (otherwise the map would be of infinite height), so it doesn't provide a complete solution for the problem of map projection. The comic implies that people who like that projection aren't very interested with map issues, and typically use what they are offered without thinking much about it.

{{clear}}

===Van der Grinten===
[[File:VanDerGrintenProjection.jpg|frame|The Van der Grinten projection]]
The {{w|Van der Grinten projection}} is not much better than the Mercator. It was adopted by {{w|National Geographic}} in 1922 and was used until they updated to the Robinson projection in 1988.

The Van der Grinten projection is circular as opposed to the Mercator projection. The fictional person believes a circular map is more fitting to the real Earth's three-dimensional spherical nature because both are round. This belief fails to recognize that a two-dimensional circle has very little in common with the surface of a sphere, and thus this projection still causes a vast distortion of space and area. Because of this, Randall implies the Van der Grinten enthusiast to be optimistic and childishly simple-minded (e.g. "you like circles").

{{clear}}

===Robinson===
[[File:RobinsonProjection.jpg|frame|The Robinson projection]]
The {{w|Robinson projection}} was developed by {{w|Arthur H. Robinson}} as a map that was supposed to look nice and is often used for classroom maps. National Geographic switched to this projection in 1988, and used it for ten years, switching to the {{w|Winkel tripel projection|Winkel-Tripel}} in 1998.

{{w|The Beatles}} was a rock band that enjoyed great commercial success in the 1960s, and are widely considered the best act ever in the genre of popular music. The Beatles, coffee, and running shoes are all things that are very commonly enjoyed and largely uncontroversial, as well as being comforting. Liking these specific things suggests an ordinary, easygoing lifestyle paralleled by the projection.

{{clear}}

===Dymaxion===
[[File:DymaxionProjection.jpg|frame|The Dymaxion projection]]
Also called the Fuller Map, the {{w|Dymaxion map}} takes a sphere and projects it onto an icosahedron, that is a polyhedron with 20 triangular faces. It is far easier to unwrap an icosahedron than it is to unwrap a sphere into a 2D object and has very little skewing of the poles. {{w|Buckminster Fuller}} was an eccentric futurist who believed, for example, that world maps should allow no conception of "up" or "down". He was therefore more than happy to defy people's expectations about maps in the pursuit of mathematical accuracy.

Randall associates the projection to geek subculture and niche markets:
*{{w|Isaac Asimov}} was an American science-fiction writer, who (as well as publishing many textbooks) is considered the father of the modern concept of robots. He invented the {{w|Three Laws of Robotics}}. He also worked on more than 500 books throughout his career.
*{{w|XML}} is the eXtensible Markup Language. It is used to represent data in a format that machines can read and understand, as well as being human-readable. In practice, XML is cumbersome to read.
*{{w|Vibram FiveFingers|Toed shoes}} are a [[1065: Shoes|favorite]] of Randall's to pick on. In society they are seen as a {{w|geek}} clothing item.
*Brought to the world by {{w|Dean Kamen}}, the {{w|Segway PT}} was supposed to be a device that changed the way cities were built. In reality, most jurisdictions have put in place rules specifically against Segways, making them a frustration to own and use within the law (in some states in Australia, it is illegal to use them on public footpaths or roads). Also, the former owner of {{w|Segway Inc.}}, the late {{w|Jimi Heselden}}, accidentally rode his Segway off a cliff in 2010. Ninebot, then owner of the Segway brand, announced in 2020 that the flagship 2-wheeled self-balancing vehicle would be discontinued.
*At the time of comic release, 3D goggles, nowadays widely known as {{w|Virtual reality headset|VR headsets}}, were considered a gimmick at best. The original idea is as old as 3D graphics, but it never really took off until mid-2010s. Earlier products were very unwieldy and offered poor graphics quality, so no one took this technology seriously.
*{{w|Dvorak Simplified Keyboard|Dvorak}} is an alternate keyboard layout to {{w|QWERTY}}. According to legend, QWERTY was invented to help keep manual typewriters from jamming (by placing the most used keys far from each other) but Dr. {{w|August Dvorak}} performed many studies and found the mathematically optimal keyboard layout to reduce finger travel for right handed typists. While some claim Dvorak is technically better than QWERTY, QWERTY had become the standard. Most keyboards were laid out in QWERTY format, but a lot of software exists to remap the keys to DVORAK for those interested in typing faster. Retraining the brain to use Dvorak takes perhaps a week. It has become a [[:Category:Dvorak|recurrent theme]] on xkcd.

{{clear}}

===Winkel-Tripel===
[[File:Winkel-TripelProjection.jpg|frame|The Winkel Tripel projection]]
Proposed by Oswald Winkel in 1921, the {{w|Winkel tripel projection}} tried to reduce a set of three (German: Tripel) main problems with map projections: area, direction, and distance. The {{w|Kavrayskiy VII projection|Kavrayskiy projection}} is very similar to the Winkel Tripel and was used by the USSR, but very few in the Western world know of it.

The comic links this projection to {{w|hipster}} subculture. The hipster stereotype is to avoid conforming to mainstream fashions. "Post-" refers to a variety of musical genres such as {{w|post-punk}}, {{w|post-grunge}}, {{w|post-minimalism}}, {{w|post-rock}}, etc. that branch off of other genres, and are generally considered less accessible than the genres that spawned them. Liking a genre just called "post-" implies that the listener prefers music that is less mainstream, and may have that as the only criterion for listening.

;Trivia
*In German "Winkel-Tripel-Projektion" means Winkel's triple projection, and therefore the hyphen shouldn't be there: "Winkel Tripel" or "Winkel tripel".
*This projection was later used in [[2242: Ground vs Air]].
{{clear}}

===Goode Homolosine===
[[File:GoodeHomolosineProjection.jpg|frame|The Goode Homolosine projection]]
The {{w|Goode homolosine projection}} takes a different approach to skewing a sphere into a roughly circular surface. An orange peel can be taken from an orange and flattened with fair success; this is roughly the procedure that {{w|John Paule Goode}} followed in creating this projection. Randall is suggesting that people who like this map also prefer relatively easy solutions to other things in life, despite those solutions having nuanced problems that are more difficult to address.

People often make arguments that if normal people ran the United States, then the US wouldn't be in the trouble it is. This is from the belief that career politicians are simply out to make money and will only act in the interest of their constituency when their continued easy life is threatened (usually around election time). While some form of this view is very common and probably pretty much correct, Randall is saying that someone who likes this map may take this to extremes.

Airline food is another, much maligned, problem. How do you store enough food to feed people on long airplane trips? What kind of food can be served in an enclosed, low-air-pressure environment? The common solution is to use some kind of prepackaged, reheated meal. Randall is saying that the people in favor of the Goode Homolosine wonder why the airlines don't simply order meals from the restaurants in the airport, store that food, and serve it, rather than using bland reheated food. However, this seemingly-obvious solution ignores how being in an airplane dulls your sense of taste. Airplane food is actually over seasoned for eating on the ground, meaning that if airlines switched to restaurant food it would probably taste even blander. There would also be issues with acquiring special meals (for example, vegetarian, Kosher, and Halal meals), especially if suitable restaurants were not in close range to the airport.

Older cars burned oil like mad fiends, and oil back then would become corrosive to the innards of an engine, so oil had to be changed often. But, with the introduction of synthetic motor oil and better designed engines, new cars only need their oil changed about every 10,000 to 15,000 miles. A common conspiracy theory is that modern automobile oil manufacturers still recommend that car owners change their oil every 3,000-5,000 miles to "drum" up more business, even though that frequency is unnecessary.

All of these references suggest that people who like the Goode Homolosine projection are fans of easy solutions to problems. However, the solutions would not necessarily work in practice. For instance: the restaurants might have trouble making enough food for the whole plane, and it could get cold before being served; the air conditions [http://www.nbcnews.com/health/one-reason-airline-food-so-bad-your-own-tastebuds-6C10823522 aboard planes] can affect taste, so airlines say they optimize for this; there is no such thing as a "normal" person, and if there were, they would have virtually no chance at actually getting into government office and/or may not have prior political experience that would be helpful for congress; and the Goode Homolosine projection, while mostly resembling a flattened orange peel as suggested by the earlier analogy, does indeed cut down on distortion, but also has serious problems of its own, such as leaving huge gaps of nothingness between the continents, making distances across the oceans difficult to visualize.

{{clear}}

===Hobo–Dyer===
[[File:Hobo-DyerProjection.jpg|frame|The Hobo–Dyer projection]]
The {{w|Hobo–Dyer projection}} was commissioned by Bob Abramms and Howard Bronstein and was drafted by Mick Dyer in 2002. It is a modified {{w|Behrmann projection}}. The goal was to be a more visually pleasing version of the Gall–Peters.

As is discussed in the Gall–Peters explanation, the Gall–Peters was developed to be equal area, so that economically disadvantaged areas can at least take comfort in the fact that their country is represented correctly by area on maps.

Randall associates the Hobo–Dyer projection to "crunchy granola" — a stereotype associated with vegetarianism, environmental activism, anti-war activism, liberal political leanings, and some traces of {{w|hippie}} culture.

With feminism becoming mainstream and non-binary genders being more widely accepted, some have begun to invent gender-neutral pronouns so that when referring to a person whose gender is not known they cannot be offended by being referred to by the wrong pronouns. In {{w|Middle English}} 'they' and 'their' were {{w|Singular they|accepted genderless pronouns that could replace 'he', 'she'}} as well as be used to represent a crowd, but this usage is considered by some to be grammatically incorrect because of the plural/singular debate ([https://www.merriam-webster.com/video/the-awkward-case-of-his-or-her stupid Victorian Grammarians!]). There have been {{w|gender-neutral pronoun#Invented pronouns|many attempts at popularizing invented gender-neutral pronouns}} and they are beginning to achieve some degree of success in the mainstream.

{{clear}}

===Plate Carrée===
[[File:PlateCarreeProjection.jpg|frame|The Plate Carrée projection]]
Also known as the {{w|Equirectangular projection}}, it has apparently been in use since approximately 100 AD. The benefit of this projection is that latitude and longitude can be used as x,y coordinates. This makes it especially easy for computers to graph data on top of it.

According to the comic, the projection appeals to people who find much beauty in simplicity.

{{clear}}

===A Globe!===
[[File:GlobeProjection.jpg|frame|The Globe "projection"]]
In any good discussion there has to be at least one smart-ass.{{Citation needed}} This is a comic about map projections, that is, the science of taking a sphere and flattening it into 2 dimensions. The smart-ass believes that we shouldn't even try: a sphere is, tautologically, the perfect representation of a sphere.

To quote ''{{w|The Princess Bride}}'': "Yes, you're very smart. Shut up."

A globe is, obviously, the "map projection" used by {{w|Google Earth}} when zoomed out.

{{clear}}

===Waterman butterfly===
[[File:WatermanButterflyProjection.jpg|frame|The Waterman Butterfly projection]]
Similar to the Dymaxion, the {{w|Waterman butterfly projection}} turns a sphere into an octahedron, and then unfolds the net of the octahedron, which was devised by mathematician {{w|Waterman polyhedron|Steve Waterman}} based upon the work of {{w|Bernard J.S. Cahill}}.

Bernard Cahill published a [http://www.genekeyes.com/B.J.S._CAHILL_RESOURCE.html butterfly map] in 1909. Steve Waterman probably has the only extant "ready to go" map following the same general principles, though Gene Keys may not be far behind. Waterman has a poem with graphics in a similar vein to this xkcd comic that is worth reading.[http://web.archive.org/web/20120118095915/http://watermanpolyhedron.com/worldmap.html]

[https://www.degruyter.com/downloadpdf/j/pcr.2016.48.issue-4/pcr-2016-0014/pcr-2016-0014.pdf Polyhedral projections] like Cahill, Dymaxion or Waterman typically offer better accuracy of size, shape and area than flat projections, at the expense of compass directionality, connectedness, and other complications.

The joke is that the person responding deeply understands map projections; anyone who knows of this projection is a person that Randall would like to get to know.

{{clear}}

===Peirce quincuncial===
[[File:PeirceQuincuncialProjection.jpg|frame|The Peirce Quincuncial projection]]
The {{w|Peirce quincuncial projection}} was devised by {{w|Charles Sanders Peirce}} in 1879 and uses {{w|complex analysis}} to make a {{w|conformal mapping}} of the Earth, that conforms except for four points which would make up the midpoints of sides and lie on equator (the equator is represented by a square and the corners connect the sides in the middle.)

{{w|Inception}} was a 2010 movie about {{w|meta}} {{w|lucid dream}}ing. It has a complex story that is difficult to follow and leaves the viewer with many questions at the end, and almost always needs to be watched multiple times to be understood.

The human brain is not well developed to deal with oddly obvious things. One example is that everyone has a skeleton, but everyone is surprised to see a part of their body represented by an X-ray. Another is the fascinating complexity of the human hand, a machine which is amazingly complex, driven by a complex interplay of electrical and chemical signals; yet is the size of the hand and so useful. A fascination with or fixation on {{tvtropes|ContemplatingYourHands|such thoughts}} is often associated with an altered state of mind brought on by marijuana consumption. Therefore, Randall may be implying that this map would appeal to stoners.

{{clear}}

===Gall–Peters===
[[File:Gall-PetersProjection.jpg|frame|The Gall–Peters projection]]
The {{w|Gall–Peters projection}} is mired in controversy, surprisingly for a map. {{w|James Gall}}, a 19th-century clergyman, presented this projection in 1855 before the {{w|British Association for the Advancement of Science}}. In 1967, the filmmaker {{w|Arno Peters}} created the same projection and presented it to the world as a "new invention" that put poorer, less powerful countries into their rightful proportions (as opposed to the Mercator). Peters played the marketing game and got quite a few followers of his map by saying it had "absolute angle conformality," "no extreme distortions of form," and was "totally distance-factual" in an age when society was very concerned about social justice. All of these claims were in fact false. The Mercator projection distorts size in favor of shape, and Gall-Peters distorts shape in favor of size, being especially inaccurate at the equator and the poles.

Anyone who loves such a politically charged map that has become popular by way of marketing stunts and false claims, Randall would rather not have anything to do with. Alternatively Randall just dislikes this map projection so much due to the above mentioned major inaccuracies, that he hates anyone who likes it.

{{clear}}

===Title text===
The title text makes a joke that goes to the familiar meme from ''{{w|CSI: Miami}}'', in which the star, David Caruso starts a sentence, then puts on his sunglasses and ends the sentence with a corny pun. In this case, the pun is on {{w|map projection}} and {{w|projection (psychology)|projection}} in psychology. Psychological projection is an unconscious defense mechanism wherein a person who is uncomfortable with their own impulses denies having them and attributes them to other people, and blames these people for these impulses. The Sunglasses internet meme has been used [[:Category:Puts on sunglasses|in other comics]] as well.

==Transcript==
:What your favorite
:'''Map Projection'''
:says about you
:[All of these are organized as Title, a copy of the particular projection underneath, and what it says about you under that.]

:*Mercator
:**You're not really into maps.
:*Van der Grinten
:**You're not a complicated person. You love the Mercator projection; you just wish it weren't square. The Earth's not a square, it's a circle. You like circles. Today is gonna be a good day!
:*Robinson
:**You have a comfortable pair of running shoes that you wear everywhere. You like coffee and enjoy The Beatles. You think the Robinson is the best-looking projection, hands down.
:*Dymaxion
:**You like Isaac Asimov, XML, and shoes with toes. You think the Segway got a bad rap. You own 3D goggles, which you use to view rotating models of better 3D goggles. You type in Dvorak.
:*Winkel-Tripel
:**National Geographic adopted the Winkel-Tripel in 1998, but you've been a W-T fan since ''long'' before "Nat Geo" showed up. You're worried it's getting played out, and are thinking of switching to the Kavrayskiy. You once left a party in disgust when a guest showed up wearing shoes with toes. Your favorite musical genre is "Post–".
:*Goode Homolosine
:**They say mapping the Earth on a 2D surface is like flattening an orange peel, which seems enough to you. You like easy solutions.You think we wouldn't have so many problems if we'd just elect ''normal'' people to Congress instead of Politicians. You think airlines should just buy food from the restaurants near the gates and serve ''that'' on board. You change your car's oil, but secretly wonder if you really ''need'' to.
:*Hobo-Dyer
:**You want to avoid cultural imperialism, but you've heard bad things about Gall-Peters. You're conflict-averse and buy organic. You use a recently-invented set of gender-neutral pronouns and think that what the world needs is a revolution in consciousness.
:*Plate Carrée (Equirectangular)
:**You think this one is fine. You like how X and Y map to latitude and longitude. The other projections overcomplicate things. You want me to stop asking about maps so you can enjoy dinner.
:*A Globe!
:**Yes, you're very clever.
:*Waterman Butterfly
:**Really? You know the Waterman? Have you seen the 1909 Cahill Map it's based— ...You have a framed reproduction at home?! Whoa. ...Listen, forget these questions. Are you doing anything tonight?
:*Peirce Quincuncial
:**You think that when we look at a map, what we really see is ourselves. After you first saw ''Inception'', you sat silent in the theater for six hours. It freaks you out to realize that everyone around you has a skeleton inside them. You ''have'' really looked at your hands.
:*Gall-Peters
:**I ''hate'' you.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Maps‏‎]]
[[Category:Dvorak]]
[[Category:Puts on sunglasses]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Aviation]]

977: Map Projections

2023-01-09T07:08:38Z

Aquillion: per objection in the comments; this wording seems more neutral.

{{comic
| number = 977
| date = November 14, 2011
| title = Map Projections
| before = [[#Explanation|↓ Skip to explanation ↓]]
| image = map_projections.png
| titletext = What's that? You think I don't like the Peters map because I'm uncomfortable with having my cultural assumptions challenged? Are you sure you're not... ::puts on sunglasses:: ...projecting?
}}
{{TOC}}
==Explanation==
{{w|Map projection}}, or how to represent the spherical Earth surface onto a flat support (paper, screen...) to have a usable map, is a long-time issue with very practical aspects (navigation, geographical shapes and masses visualization, etc.) as well as very scientific/mathematical ones, involving geometry or even abstract algebra among other things. There is no universal solution to this problem: Any 2D map projection will always distort in a way the spherical reality. Many projections have been proposed in various contexts, each intending to minimize distortions for specific uses (for nautical navigation, for aerial navigation, for landmass size comparisons, etc.) but having drawbacks from other points of view. Some of them are more frequently used than others in mass media and therefore more well-known than others, some are purely historical and now deprecated, some are very obscure, etc.

[[Randall]] suggests here the idea that someone's "favorite" map projection can reveal aspects of their personality, then goes through a series of them to show what they can mean.

He may actually believe that all map projections are in a way bad. This could be inferred from the fact that he much later began publishing a series of [[:Category:Bad Map Projections|Bad Map Projections]].
===Mercator===
[[File:MercatorProjection.jpg|frame|The Mercator projection]]
The {{w|Mercator projection}} was introduced by Flemish cartographer Gerardus Mercator in 1569. The main purpose of this map is to preserve compass bearings; for example 13 degrees east of north will be 13 degrees clockwise from the ray pointing toward the top of the map, at every point. A mathematical consequence is the mapping is conformal, i.e. if two roads meet at a certain angle on the surface of the Earth, they will meet at that same angle on the map. It also follows that at every point the vertical and horizontal scales are the same, so locally i.e. considering only a small part of the map, geographical features (shapes, angles) are well represented, which helps a lot in recognizing them on-the-field, or for local navigation in that small part only. For this reason, that projection (or a close variant) is used in several online mapping services (such as Google Maps), which means that it is frequently encountered by the general public. A straight line on the map corresponds to a course of constant bearing (direction), which was very useful for nautical navigation in the past (and thus made that projection very well-known).

However, from a global point of view, this projection is radically incorrect in how it shows the size of landmasses (for instance, Antarctica and Greenland seem gigantic), and furthermore, it always excludes a small region around each pole (otherwise the map would be of infinite height), so it doesn't provide a complete solution for the problem of map projection. The comic implies that people who like that projection aren't very interested with map issues, and typically use what they are offered without thinking much about it.

{{clear}}

===Van der Grinten===
[[File:VanDerGrintenProjection.jpg|frame|The Van der Grinten projection]]
The {{w|Van der Grinten projection}} is not much better than the Mercator. It was adopted by {{w|National Geographic}} in 1922 and was used until they updated to the Robinson projection in 1988.

The Van der Grinten projection is circular as opposed to the Mercator projection. The fictional person believes a circular map is more fitting to the real Earth's three-dimensional spherical nature because both are round. This belief fails to recognize that a two-dimensional circle has very little in common with the surface of a sphere, and thus this projection still causes a vast distortion of space and area. Because of this, Randall implies the Van der Grinten enthusiast to be optimistic and childishly simple-minded (e.g. "you like circles").

{{clear}}

===Robinson===
[[File:RobinsonProjection.jpg|frame|The Robinson projection]]
The {{w|Robinson projection}} was developed by {{w|Arthur H. Robinson}} as a map that was supposed to look nice and is often used for classroom maps. National Geographic switched to this projection in 1988, and used it for ten years, switching to the {{w|Winkel tripel projection|Winkel-Tripel}} in 1998.

{{w|The Beatles}} was a rock band that enjoyed great commercial success in the 1960s, and are widely considered the best act ever in the genre of popular music. The Beatles, coffee, and running shoes are all things that are very commonly enjoyed and largely uncontroversial, as well as being comforting. Liking these specific things suggests an ordinary, easygoing lifestyle paralleled by the projection.

{{clear}}

===Dymaxion===
[[File:DymaxionProjection.jpg|frame|The Dymaxion projection]]
Also called the Fuller Map, the {{w|Dymaxion map}} takes a sphere and projects it onto an icosahedron, that is a polyhedron with 20 triangular faces. It is far easier to unwrap an icosahedron than it is to unwrap a sphere into a 2D object and has very little skewing of the poles. {{w|Buckminster Fuller}} was an eccentric futurist who believed, for example, that world maps should allow no conception of "up" or "down". He was therefore more than happy to defy people's expectations about maps in the pursuit of mathematical accuracy.

Randall associates the projection to geek subculture and niche markets:
*{{w|Isaac Asimov}} was an American science-fiction writer, who (as well as publishing many textbooks) is considered the father of the modern concept of robots. He invented the {{w|Three Laws of Robotics}}. He also worked on more than 500 books throughout his career.
*{{w|XML}} is the eXtensible Markup Language. It is used to represent data in a format that machines can read and understand, as well as being human-readable. In practice, XML is cumbersome to read.
*{{w|Vibram FiveFingers|Toed shoes}} are a [[1065: Shoes|favorite]] of Randall's to pick on. In society they are seen as a {{w|geek}} clothing item.
*Brought to the world by {{w|Dean Kamen}}, the {{w|Segway PT}} was supposed to be a device that changed the way cities were built. In reality, most jurisdictions have put in place rules specifically against Segways, making them a frustration to own and use within the law (in some states in Australia, it is illegal to use them on public footpaths or roads). Also, the former owner of {{w|Segway Inc.}}, the late {{w|Jimi Heselden}}, accidentally rode his Segway off a cliff in 2010. Ninebot, then owner of the Segway brand, announced in 2020 that the flagship 2-wheeled self-balancing vehicle would be discontinued.
*At the time of comic release, 3D goggles, nowadays widely known as {{w|Virtual reality headset|VR headsets}}, were considered a gimmick at best. The original idea is as old as 3D graphics, but it never really took off until mid-2010s. Earlier products were very unwieldy and offered poor graphics quality, so no one took this technology seriously.
*{{w|Dvorak Simplified Keyboard|Dvorak}} is an alternate keyboard layout to {{w|QWERTY}}. According to legend, QWERTY was invented to help keep manual typewriters from jamming (by placing the most used keys far from each other) but Dr. {{w|August Dvorak}} performed many studies and found the mathematically optimal keyboard layout to reduce finger travel for right handed typists. While some claim Dvorak is technically better than QWERTY, QWERTY had become the standard. Most keyboards were laid out in QWERTY format, but a lot of software exists to remap the keys to DVORAK for those interested in typing faster. Retraining the brain to use Dvorak takes perhaps a week. It has become a [[:Category:Dvorak|recurrent theme]] on xkcd.

{{clear}}

===Winkel-Tripel===
[[File:Winkel-TripelProjection.jpg|frame|The Winkel Tripel projection]]
Proposed by Oswald Winkel in 1921, the {{w|Winkel tripel projection}} tried to reduce a set of three (German: Tripel) main problems with map projections: area, direction, and distance. The {{w|Kavrayskiy VII projection|Kavrayskiy projection}} is very similar to the Winkel Tripel and was used by the USSR, but very few in the Western world know of it.

The comic links this projection to {{w|hipster}} subculture. The hipster stereotype is to avoid conforming to mainstream fashions. "Post-" refers to a variety of musical genres such as {{w|post-punk}}, {{w|post-grunge}}, {{w|post-minimalism}}, {{w|post-rock}}, etc. that branch off of other genres, and are generally considered less accessible than the genres that spawned them. Liking a genre just called "post-" implies that the listener prefers music that is less mainstream, and may have that as the only criterion for listening.

;Trivia
*In German "Winkel-Tripel-Projektion" means Winkel's triple projection, and therefore the hyphen shouldn't be there: "Winkel Tripel" or "Winkel tripel".
*This projection was later used in [[2242: Ground vs Air]].
{{clear}}

===Goode Homolosine===
[[File:GoodeHomolosineProjection.jpg|frame|The Goode Homolosine projection]]
The {{w|Goode homolosine projection}} takes a different approach to skewing a sphere into a roughly circular surface. An orange peel can be taken from an orange and flattened with fair success; this is roughly the procedure that {{w|John Paule Goode}} followed in creating this projection. Randall is suggesting that people who like this map also prefer relatively easy solutions to other things in life, despite those solutions having nuanced problems that are more difficult to address.

People often make arguments that if normal people ran the United States, then the US wouldn't be in the trouble it is. This is from the belief that career politicians are simply out to make money and will only act in the interest of their constituency when their continued easy life is threatened (usually around election time). While some form of this view is very common and probably pretty much correct, Randall is saying that someone who likes this map may take this to extremes.

Airline food is another, much maligned, problem. How do you store enough food to feed people on long airplane trips? What kind of food can be served in an enclosed, low-air-pressure environment? The common solution is to use some kind of prepackaged, reheated meal. Randall is saying that the people in favor of the Goode Homolosine wonder why the airlines don't simply order meals from the restaurants in the airport, store that food, and serve it, rather than using bland reheated food. However, this seemingly-obvious solution ignores how being in an airplane dulls your sense of taste. Airplane food is actually over seasoned for eating on the ground, meaning that if airlines switched to restaurant food it would probably taste even blander. There would also be issues with acquiring special meals (for example, vegetarian, Kosher, and Halal meals), especially if suitable restaurants were not in close range to the airport.

Older cars burned oil like mad fiends, and oil back then would become corrosive to the innards of an engine, so oil had to be changed often. But, with the introduction of synthetic motor oil and better designed engines, new cars only need their oil changed about every 10,000 to 15,000 miles. A common conspiracy theory is that modern automobile oil manufacturers still recommend that car owners change their oil every 3,000-5,000 miles to "drum" up more business, even though that frequency is unnecessary.

All of these references suggest that people who like the Goode Homolosine projection are fans of easy solutions to problems. However, the solutions would not necessarily work in practice. For instance: the restaurants might have trouble making enough food for the whole plane, and it could get cold before being served; the air conditions [http://www.nbcnews.com/health/one-reason-airline-food-so-bad-your-own-tastebuds-6C10823522 aboard planes] can affect taste, so airlines say they optimize for this; there is no such thing as a "normal" person, and if there were, they would have virtually no chance at actually getting into government office and/or may not have prior political experience that would be helpful for congress; and the Goode Homolosine projection, while mostly resembling a flattened orange peel as suggested by the earlier analogy, does indeed cut down on distortion, but also has serious problems of its own, such as leaving huge gaps of nothingness between the continents, making distances across the oceans difficult to visualize.

{{clear}}

===Hobo–Dyer===
[[File:Hobo-DyerProjection.jpg|frame|The Hobo–Dyer projection]]
The {{w|Hobo–Dyer projection}} was commissioned by Bob Abramms and Howard Bronstein and was drafted by Mick Dyer in 2002. It is a modified {{w|Behrmann projection}}. The goal was to be a more visually pleasing version of the Gall–Peters.

As is discussed in the Gall–Peters explanation, the Gall–Peters was developed to be equal area, so that economically disadvantaged areas can at least take comfort in the fact that their country is represented correctly by area on maps.

Randall associates the Hobo–Dyer projection to "crunchy granola" — a stereotype associated with vegetarianism, environmental activism, anti-war activism, liberal political leanings, and some traces of {{w|hippie}} culture.

With feminism becoming mainstream and non-binary genders being more widely accepted, some have begun to invent gender-neutral pronouns so that when referring to a person whose gender is not known they cannot be offended by being referred to by the wrong pronouns. In {{w|Middle English}} 'they' and 'their' were {{w|Singular they|accepted genderless pronouns that could replace 'he', 'she'}} as well as be used to represent a crowd, but this usage is considered by some to be grammatically incorrect because of the plural/singular debate ([https://www.merriam-webster.com/video/the-awkward-case-of-his-or-her stupid Victorian Grammarians!]). There have been {{w|gender-neutral pronoun#Invented pronouns|many attempts at popularizing invented gender-neutral pronouns}} and they are beginning to achieve some degree of success in the mainstream.

{{clear}}

===Plate Carrée===
[[File:PlateCarreeProjection.jpg|frame|The Plate Carrée projection]]
Also known as the {{w|Equirectangular projection}}, it has apparently been in use since approximately 100 AD. The benefit of this projection is that latitude and longitude can be used as x,y coordinates. This makes it especially easy for computers to graph data on top of it.

According to the comic, the projection appeals to people who find much beauty in simplicity.

{{clear}}

===A Globe!===
[[File:GlobeProjection.jpg|frame|The Globe "projection"]]
In any good discussion there has to be at least one smart-ass.{{Citation needed}} This is a comic about map projections, that is, the science of taking a sphere and flattening it into 2 dimensions. The smart-ass believes that we shouldn't even try: a sphere is, tautologically, the perfect representation of a sphere.

To quote ''{{w|The Princess Bride}}'': "Yes, you're very smart. Shut up."

A globe is, obviously, the "map projection" used by {{w|Google Earth}} when zoomed out.

{{clear}}

===Waterman butterfly===
[[File:WatermanButterflyProjection.jpg|frame|The Waterman Butterfly projection]]
Similar to the Dymaxion, the {{w|Waterman butterfly projection}} turns a sphere into an octahedron, and then unfolds the net of the octahedron, which was devised by mathematician {{w|Waterman polyhedron|Steve Waterman}} based upon the work of {{w|Bernard J.S. Cahill}}.

Bernard Cahill published a [http://www.genekeyes.com/B.J.S._CAHILL_RESOURCE.html butterfly map] in 1909. Steve Waterman probably has the only extant "ready to go" map following the same general principles, though Gene Keys may not be far behind. Waterman has a poem with graphics in a similar vein to this xkcd comic that is worth reading.[http://web.archive.org/web/20120118095915/http://watermanpolyhedron.com/worldmap.html]

[https://www.degruyter.com/downloadpdf/j/pcr.2016.48.issue-4/pcr-2016-0014/pcr-2016-0014.pdf Polyhedral projections] like Cahill, Dymaxion or Waterman typically offer better accuracy of size, shape and area than flat projections, at the expense of compass directionality, connectedness, and other complications.

The joke is that the person responding deeply understands map projections; anyone who knows of this projection is a person that Randall would like to get to know.

{{clear}}

===Peirce quincuncial===
[[File:PeirceQuincuncialProjection.jpg|frame|The Peirce Quincuncial projection]]
The {{w|Peirce quincuncial projection}} was devised by {{w|Charles Sanders Peirce}} in 1879 and uses {{w|complex analysis}} to make a {{w|conformal mapping}} of the Earth, that conforms except for four points which would make up the midpoints of sides and lie on equator (the equator is represented by a square and the corners connect the sides in the middle.)

{{w|Inception}} was a 2010 movie about {{w|meta}} {{w|lucid dream}}ing. It has a complex story that is difficult to follow and leaves the viewer with many questions at the end, and almost always needs to be watched multiple times to be understood.

The human brain is not well developed to deal with oddly obvious things. One example is that everyone has a skeleton, but everyone is surprised to see a part of their body represented by an X-ray. Another is the fascinating complexity of the human hand, a machine which is amazingly complex, driven by a complex interplay of electrical and chemical signals; yet is the size of the hand and so useful. A fascination with or fixation on {{tvtropes|ContemplatingYourHands|such thoughts}} is often associated with an altered state of mind brought on by marijuana consumption. Therefore, Randall may be implying that this map would appeal to stoners.

{{clear}}

===Gall–Peters===
[[File:Gall-PetersProjection.jpg|frame|The Gall–Peters projection]]
The {{w|Gall–Peters projection}} is mired in controversy, surprisingly for a map. {{w|James Gall}}, a 19th-century clergyman, presented this projection in 1855 before the {{w|British Association for the Advancement of Science}}. In 1967, the filmmaker {{w|Arno Peters}} created the same projection and presented it to the world as a "new invention" that put poorer, less powerful countries into their rightful proportions (as opposed to the Mercator). Peters played the marketing game and got quite a few followers of his map by saying it had "absolute angle conformality," "no extreme distortions of form," and was "totally distance-factual" in an age when society was very concerned about social justice. All of these claims were in fact false. The Mercator projection distorts size in favor of shape, and Gall-Peters distorts shape in favor of size, being especially inaccurate at the equator and the poles.

Anyone who loves such a politically charged map that has become popular by way of marketing stunts, Randall would rather not have anything to do with. Alternatively Randall just dislikes this map projection so much due to the above mentioned major inaccuracies, that he hates anyone who likes it.

{{clear}}

===Title text===
The title text makes a joke that goes to the familiar meme from ''{{w|CSI: Miami}}'', in which the star, David Caruso starts a sentence, then puts on his sunglasses and ends the sentence with a corny pun. In this case, the pun is on {{w|map projection}} and {{w|projection (psychology)|projection}} in psychology. Psychological projection is an unconscious defense mechanism wherein a person who is uncomfortable with their own impulses denies having them and attributes them to other people, and blames these people for these impulses. The Sunglasses internet meme has been used [[:Category:Puts on sunglasses|in other comics]] as well.

==Transcript==
:What your favorite
:'''Map Projection'''
:says about you
:[All of these are organized as Title, a copy of the particular projection underneath, and what it says about you under that.]

:*Mercator
:**You're not really into maps.
:*Van der Grinten
:**You're not a complicated person. You love the Mercator projection; you just wish it weren't square. The Earth's not a square, it's a circle. You like circles. Today is gonna be a good day!
:*Robinson
:**You have a comfortable pair of running shoes that you wear everywhere. You like coffee and enjoy The Beatles. You think the Robinson is the best-looking projection, hands down.
:*Dymaxion
:**You like Isaac Asimov, XML, and shoes with toes. You think the Segway got a bad rap. You own 3D goggles, which you use to view rotating models of better 3D goggles. You type in Dvorak.
:*Winkel-Tripel
:**National Geographic adopted the Winkel-Tripel in 1998, but you've been a W-T fan since ''long'' before "Nat Geo" showed up. You're worried it's getting played out, and are thinking of switching to the Kavrayskiy. You once left a party in disgust when a guest showed up wearing shoes with toes. Your favorite musical genre is "Post–".
:*Goode Homolosine
:**They say mapping the Earth on a 2D surface is like flattening an orange peel, which seems enough to you. You like easy solutions.You think we wouldn't have so many problems if we'd just elect ''normal'' people to Congress instead of Politicians. You think airlines should just buy food from the restaurants near the gates and serve ''that'' on board. You change your car's oil, but secretly wonder if you really ''need'' to.
:*Hobo-Dyer
:**You want to avoid cultural imperialism, but you've heard bad things about Gall-Peters. You're conflict-averse and buy organic. You use a recently-invented set of gender-neutral pronouns and think that what the world needs is a revolution in consciousness.
:*Plate Carrée (Equirectangular)
:**You think this one is fine. You like how X and Y map to latitude and longitude. The other projections overcomplicate things. You want me to stop asking about maps so you can enjoy dinner.
:*A Globe!
:**Yes, you're very clever.
:*Waterman Butterfly
:**Really? You know the Waterman? Have you seen the 1909 Cahill Map it's based— ...You have a framed reproduction at home?! Whoa. ...Listen, forget these questions. Are you doing anything tonight?
:*Peirce Quincuncial
:**You think that when we look at a map, what we really see is ourselves. After you first saw ''Inception'', you sat silent in the theater for six hours. It freaks you out to realize that everyone around you has a skeleton inside them. You ''have'' really looked at your hands.
:*Gall-Peters
:**I ''hate'' you.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Maps‏‎]]
[[Category:Dvorak]]
[[Category:Puts on sunglasses]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Aviation]]

2306: Common Cold

2022-10-27T16:33:55Z

Aquillion: /* Explanation */ sp

{{comic
| number = 2306
| date = May 13, 2020
| title = Common Cold
| image = common_cold.png
| titletext = Not even metapneumovirus, easily the common cold virus with the coolest name, warrants our sympathy. Colds suck. No mercy.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is another in a [[:Category:COVID-19|series of comics]] related to the {{w|COVID-19 pandemic}}.

This comic with talking viruses was followed by a comic debating if viruses are [[Alive Or Not]]?

Many of the measures humans have undertaken to fight SARS-CoV-2, such as careful hand-washing and sanitizing of frequently-touched surfaces, are effective against most pathogens. Hence, one of the ironic silver linings of the coronavirus pandemic is that the aggressive implementation of these measures is likely to slow the spread, not only of SARS-CoV-2 but of many common illnesses. If these measures become long-term social expectations, they may improve public health long after the current pandemic has passed.

Hand-washing with soap is a particularly effective way to disable coronaviruses and influenza viruses, which have a {{w|viral envelope}}.
Most common colds are caused by a {{w|rhinovirus}}, a non-encapsulated virus that is not as sensitive to soap. Nonetheless, proper and frequent hand-washing appears to reduce the spread of most viruses, by removing biological residue which harbors the virus. Hence, more aggressive hygiene is likely to have at least some impact on most easily transmissible diseases. Handwashing was a major emphasis of anti-COVID measures in mid-2020 when this comic was written, though as more was learned about the disease (in particular its airborne transmission) the focus shifted more towards masking.

In this strip, [[Randall]] addresses the matter from the point of view of viruses. Specifically, those that cause the {{w|common cold}}, imagining them as sentient entities, with spreading infection as their conscious goal. Much like in [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]], the humor comes from the perspective flip, where health measures intend to protect us are seen by the pathogens as terrifying attacks. In this strip, the cold viruses become aware that more aggressive hygiene measures are putting them at risk, and hope to negotiate with humanity, on the grounds that, unlike SARS-CoV-2, they are rarely fatal. Their hope seems to be that, once the current pandemic is brought under control, humanity will abandon these measures, and allow them to freely spread, once again.

Cueball's adamant refusal likely reflects Randall's hope that this pandemic will result in lasting changes, slowing the spread of all diseases, including those which are merely very unpleasant, as opposed to actually fatal. By treating this as a conscious battle, people may be more inclined to be vigilant, and not allow the enemy any opportunity to recover.

While colds are unlikely to kill otherwise healthy humans, they still cause symptoms that can be painful, even debilitating, in the short term. Previous strips made reference to the miserable nature of the disease. In December 2015, Randall released both [[1612: Colds]] and [[1618: Cold Medicine]].

The ''[[what_if?|what if?]]'' book previously dealt with the plausibility of eliminating the common cold through aggressive physical distancing alone. The section in that book concluded that total elimination would be impractical. However, the current situation suggests that minimizing the spread of disease by careful hygiene measures is realistic.

In the title text, Randall mentions a virus with the name {{w|Human metapneumovirus|metapneumovirus}}. He states that this is easily the common cold virus with the coolest name. But that does not mean it warrants our sympathy (as it is present in up to 40% of colds, and can be deadly in vulnerable populations). And he finishes by stating that "Colds suck. No mercy." So Randall would not be sorry to see the common cold eliminated, or at least substantially contained, by our coronavirus precautions.

In reality, unfortunately, anti-COVID measures would indeed lapse a few years later, leading to a [https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2022/10/27/23421344/covid-19-flu-rsv-symptoms-vaccines-2022 resurgence of several diseases], including the common cold.

==Transcript==
:[Three large viruses hang in the air in front of Cueball. The one closest to Cueball looks a bit like the virus causing the corona pandemic, although it is made clear it is not this type of virus. The other two are put together in small circles. The one behind the corona-like virus has 7 small circles, four in a group, one above and two below. The other has three circles. They are not so closely knit together, and may instead represent three smaller viruses rather than one large. The corona type virus addresses Cueball with a starburst above it indicating it speaks the lines above.]
:Corona-like virus: Hi there! We're the viruses that cause the common cold.
:Corona-like virus: This handwashing...
:Corona-like virus: It stops when this is all over, right?

:[Same setting in a slimmer panel.]
:Corona-like virus: It's just, it's making things really hard for us, too.
:Corona-like virus: Maybe we could make a deal?

:[Same setting in a frame-less panel. The large virus also speaks as indicated with a starburst above it.]
:Large virus: We won't kill you!
:Large virus: We just want to get back in your throat and make you feel gross now and then.
:Corona-like virus: Show us some mercy?

:[Zoom in on Cueball, beat panel.]

:[In the close-up of Cueball, he lifts his hand up, which has been balled into a fist. He is emphatic in his reply.]
:Cueball: <big>'''''No.'''''</big>

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:COVID-19]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category: Biology]]

2306: Common Cold

2022-10-27T16:33:06Z

Aquillion: Noting that the hand-washing focus was particular to when this was written; adding followup.

{{comic
| number = 2306
| date = May 13, 2020
| title = Common Cold
| image = common_cold.png
| titletext = Not even metapneumovirus, easily the common cold virus with the coolest name, warrants our sympathy. Colds suck. No mercy.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is another in a [[:Category:COVID-19|series of comics]] related to the {{w|COVID-19 pandemic}}.

This comic with talking viruses was followed by a comic debating if viruses are [[Alive Or Not]]?

Many of the measures humans have undertaken to fight SARS-CoV-2, such as careful hand-washing and sanitizing of frequently-touched surfaces, are effective against most pathogens. Hence, one of the ironic silver linings of the coronavirus pandemic is that the aggressive implementation of these measures is likely to slow the spread, not only of SARS-CoV-2 but of many common illnesses. If these measures become long-term social expectations, they may improve public health long after the current pandemic has passed.

Hand-washing with soap is a particularly effective way to disable coronaviruses and influenza viruses, which have a {{w|viral envelope}}.
Most common colds are caused by a {{w|rhinovirus}}, a non-encapsulated virus that is not as sensitive to soap. Nonetheless, proper and frequent hand-washing appears to reduce the spread of most viruses, by removing biological residue which harbors the virus. Hence, more aggressive hygiene is likely to have at least some impact on most easily transmissible diseases. Handwashing was a major emphasis of anti-CVOID measures in mid-2020 when this comic was written, though as more was learned about the disease (in particular its airborne transmission) the focus shifted more towards masking.

In this strip, [[Randall]] addresses the matter from the point of view of viruses. Specifically, those that cause the {{w|common cold}}, imagining them as sentient entities, with spreading infection as their conscious goal. Much like in [[2287: Pathogen Resistance]], the humor comes from the perspective flip, where health measures intend to protect us are seen by the pathogens as terrifying attacks. In this strip, the cold viruses become aware that more aggressive hygiene measures are putting them at risk, and hope to negotiate with humanity, on the grounds that, unlike SARS-CoV-2, they are rarely fatal. Their hope seems to be that, once the current pandemic is brought under control, humanity will abandon these measures, and allow them to freely spread, once again.

Cueball's adamant refusal likely reflects Randall's hope that this pandemic will result in lasting changes, slowing the spread of all diseases, including those which are merely very unpleasant, as opposed to actually fatal. By treating this as a conscious battle, people may be more inclined to be vigilant, and not allow the enemy any opportunity to recover.

While colds are unlikely to kill otherwise healthy humans, they still cause symptoms that can be painful, even debilitating, in the short term. Previous strips made reference to the miserable nature of the disease. In December 2015, Randall released both [[1612: Colds]] and [[1618: Cold Medicine]].

The ''[[what_if?|what if?]]'' book previously dealt with the plausibility of eliminating the common cold through aggressive physical distancing alone. The section in that book concluded that total elimination would be impractical. However, the current situation suggests that minimizing the spread of disease by careful hygiene measures is realistic.

In the title text, Randall mentions a virus with the name {{w|Human metapneumovirus|metapneumovirus}}. He states that this is easily the common cold virus with the coolest name. But that does not mean it warrants our sympathy (as it is present in up to 40% of colds, and can be deadly in vulnerable populations). And he finishes by stating that "Colds suck. No mercy." So Randall would not be sorry to see the common cold eliminated, or at least substantially contained, by our coronavirus precautions.

In reality, unfortunately, anti-COVID measures would indeed lapse a few years later, leading to a [https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2022/10/27/23421344/covid-19-flu-rsv-symptoms-vaccines-2022 resurgence of several diseases], including the common cold.

==Transcript==
:[Three large viruses hang in the air in front of Cueball. The one closest to Cueball looks a bit like the virus causing the corona pandemic, although it is made clear it is not this type of virus. The other two are put together in small circles. The one behind the corona-like virus has 7 small circles, four in a group, one above and two below. The other has three circles. They are not so closely knit together, and may instead represent three smaller viruses rather than one large. The corona type virus addresses Cueball with a starburst above it indicating it speaks the lines above.]
:Corona-like virus: Hi there! We're the viruses that cause the common cold.
:Corona-like virus: This handwashing...
:Corona-like virus: It stops when this is all over, right?

:[Same setting in a slimmer panel.]
:Corona-like virus: It's just, it's making things really hard for us, too.
:Corona-like virus: Maybe we could make a deal?

:[Same setting in a frame-less panel. The large virus also speaks as indicated with a starburst above it.]
:Large virus: We won't kill you!
:Large virus: We just want to get back in your throat and make you feel gross now and then.
:Corona-like virus: Show us some mercy?

:[Zoom in on Cueball, beat panel.]

:[In the close-up of Cueball, he lifts his hand up, which has been balled into a fist. He is emphatic in his reply.]
:Cueball: <big>'''''No.'''''</big>

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:COVID-19]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category: Biology]]

2612: Lightsabers

2022-05-04T19:45:34Z

Aquillion: Undo revision 241943 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

<noinclude>''For the comic named "Lightsaber", see [[1433: Lightsaber]].''</noinclude>
{{comic
| number = 2612
| date = April 27, 2022
| title = Lightsabers
| image = lightsabers.png
| titletext = A lot of Jedi romances start with this turning into a Lady and the Tramp spaghetti situation.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a MAGNETICALLY CONFINED PLASMA-SABER REACTOR - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
A {{w|lightsaber}} is a fictional beam-like sword weapon used by members of the {{w|Jedi}} order and the {{w|Sith}} in the ''{{w|Star Wars}}'' franchise. This comic shows a lightsaber fight starting between two [[Cueball]]-like Jedi, one already presenting their blade in challenge and the second activating theirs in response. When the first strike is made between the two lightsabers, they meld together with a bloop sound, like the beams are made of a liquid. The two light beams then remain stuck to each other. In in-universe "technical documents", lightsabers are said to be made from magnetically-confined plasma, so perhaps the magnetic fields which were projected from each hilt have merged instead of repelling (or presenting as mutually impervious) as is usually expected.

(This scene actually looks a lot like what happens between Harry Potter and Voldemort's wands in the end of the fourth book, the {{w|Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire|''Goblet of Fire''}}. Here two spells hit each other and connect the two wands, the wand holders then unable to release or disconnect the wands.)

First the left Jedi, then the right, shakes the hilt, trying to break the bond. When this does not succeed, the right Jedi then deactivates his lightsaber in an attempt to end the connection. This causes the retraction of the entire double-sized light beam into the handles (as seen in the movies), causing both of the Jedi to be drawn together until their heads bonk, forcefully enough to render them both unconscious. The connected lightsaber handles lie next to them on the ground.

The title text implies that such events are how {{w|Jedi}} romances start, comparing it to the famous "spaghetti scene" from the 1955 Disney animated movie ''{{w|Lady and the Tramp}}'' where the two titular characters unintentionally kiss after sharing a strand of spaghetti. In the Old Republic, Jedi were forbidden from entering into romantic relationships (and discouraged from forming attachments in general), but in the pre-Disney ''Star Wars Legends'' continuity of the {{w|Star Wars in other media|Expanded Universe}}, {{w|Luke Skywalker}} and {{w|Mara Jade}} first met while fighting in the aftermath of the fall of the Empire, and then developed a romantic relationship.

Star Wars is a [[:Category:Star Wars|recurring theme]] on xkcd, and lightsabers have been prominently featured before in, for instance, [[1397: Luke]] and [[1433: Lightsaber]], where the problem with the physics of a light beam as a sword is shown. But in general light does not interact with light as {{w|photons}} are {{w|bosons}} and can thus pass through each other. Interference, yes, but two pure light beams cannot collide and bounce back as when two lightsabers collide. Also as the comic Lightsaber mentioned above shows, there is no compatible real-world way of confining a beam of light, making it stop after about a meter (or anywhere){{Dubious}} - see {{w|Optical cavity}}.

==Transcript==
:[Two Cueball like Jedi are engaging each other in a duel using lightsabers over 12 panels of equal size, with sound effects as the only sound. In the first panel the left Jedi has his lightsaber extended holding it in both hand pointing towards the other, who at this time is just turning his lightsaber on.]
:''Tssssss''
:Click

:[Almost same position of the Jedi, but the right Jedi's lightsaber has now extended, making a sound. He is holding it up near his head in both hands]
:''Tsss''

:[Then they run towards each other and swing their lightsabers towards each other, two small arcs indicating the swing of the lightsabers.]

:[The two beams hit each other and connects at the middle in a big bloop of light, with drops of "light" jumping off both above and below the connected lightsabers. Both Jedi still holds on to their handles with both hands. A loud sound comes out of the connection:]
:''Bloop''

:[The Jedi stands still holding their handles. The beam is now forming a bow between the two handles.]

:[The left Jedi violently shakes his handle causing a wave to travel down the beam towards the right Jedi.]
:Shake shake

:[The right Jedi shakes his handle and well and another wave travels the opposite direction towards the left Jedi.]
:Shake shake

:[Back to the bow of light between them, but the beam is visibly still shaking, but no wave is traveling any longer.]

:[Same setting but the shaking has stopped. The right Jedi turns his lightsaber off on his handle with a sound:]
:Click

:[The beam of light is retracted quickly into the handle of the Jedi turning his lightsaber off. So quickly that the two Jedi, still holding on to their handles are pulled up in the air and towards each other as the sound of the beam turning off is heard. Lines indicate their movement and shadows on the ground beneath them indicate they are in the air.]
:''Zhhhiiiip''

:[When the beam is completely retracted the two handles collide and so do the heads of the two Jedi with a loud sound. They still hold on to their handles with both hands. They still hang in the air with shadows on the ground beneath them.]
:''Bonk''

:[In the final panel the two Jedi lie unconscious on the ground with their heads towards each other and with their arms stretched out towards each other. The connected handles lie between them.]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Fiction]]

2613: Bad Map Projection: Madagascator

2022-05-04T19:42:48Z

Aquillion: Undo revision 241933 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 2613
| date = April 29, 2022
| title = Bad Map Projection: Madagascator
| image = bad_map_projection_madagascator.png
| titletext = The projection's north pole is in a small lake on the island of Mahé in the Seychelles, which is off the top of the map and larger than the rest of the Earth's land area combined.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the fifth comic in the series of [[:Category:Bad Map Projections|Bad Map Projections]] displaying Bad Map Projection #248: Madagascator. It came about 10 months after the fourth [[2489: Bad Map Projection: The Greenland Special ]] (#299).

This time, [[Randall]] used the classic {{w|Mercator projection}} but instead of placing the North Pole on top and the South Pole on the bottom it is oriented so that the top is the island of {{w|Mahé, Seychelles|Mahé}}. The map projection is technically a {{w|Oblique Mercator projection}}, with an unusual choice of the cylinder's axis. Since the Mercator projection tends to visually distort areas near the top and bottom of the resulting map, this gives some areas, notably Madagascar, very unusual shapes, hence the name the ''Madagascator'' — a portmanteau of "Madagascar" and "Mercator"!

The Mercator projection became the standard projection for world maps during the 1800s, because a straight line (or {{w|rhumb line}}) in a Mercator map represents a constant bearing relative to true north. Historically, when navigation was performed by compass, this was a very valuable feature, since one (adjusting for the differences between true and magnetic north) could plot a constant-bearing course between two locations by simply looking at their relative direction on the map.

However, in the mid-20th century, the Mercator was {{w|Mercator_projection#Criticism|criticized}} because it causes distortion near the north and south poles of the map, giving an inaccurate impression of relative sizes. The most commonly given example of this is the size of Greenland — although on the Mercator it appears to be larger than Africa in area, Africa in reality covers an area 14 times that of Greenland.

Randall turns this example on its head by making Madagascar, rather than Greenland, appear larger in the ''Madagascator'' than in reality. By contrast with Greenland, the world's largest non-continent island, Madagascar is only the fourth-largest island in the world, behind Greenland, New Guinea, and Borneo.

To accomplish this, instead of placing the north pole of the map at the geographic North Pole, Randall places the north pole of the map on the island of Mahé in Seychelles. As Madagascar is relatively close to Mahé (around 650 mi (1050 km) distant), placing the north pole of the Mercator projection at Mahé significantly distorts the size of Madagascar, making it appear comparable in size to Europe on the map.

But this distortion is even more pronounced when it comes to the island of Mahé itself, as Randall notes in the title text.
Although Mahé, the largest island in Seychelles with an area of 60.7 square mi (157.2 square km), is minuscule even compared to Madagascar, the claim in the title text that it appears "larger than the rest of the Earth's land area combined" is an understatement.

No part of Mahé is visible in the comic, but clicking on the actual comic will open a website that displays Mercator projections with a pole in any chosen location, with the location of the one opened set to Mahé. The chosen pole is (infinitely far to) the right of the screen, while its {{w|antipodes|antipode}} is on the left. With this, it is possible to see that the island is indeed larger than the rest of the map's land area combined. A single national park within the island rivals Africa in size, and the narrow dirt road closest to the pole appears thicker than Panama. This also reveals that the location of the map's north pole (the "small lake" mentioned by Randall) is the lake impounded by the Rochon Dam, a popular tourist location in Mahé.

Unlike previous Bad Map Projections, Morocco and Western Sahara are drawn as one unlabelled country.

===Comparison of actual/mapped areas===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
! Landmass
! Status
! data-sort-type="number"|Actual Area<ref name="act">Major contiguous land areas that should exclude all islands, ''especially'' major ones, '''''especially''''' especially those listed separately</ref> (Millions of Km²)
! data-sort-type="number"|Proportion Land Area
! data-sort-type="number"|Proportion Image Area<ref name="pri">Of only these listed areas listed</ref>
! data-sort-type="number"|Distortion<ref name="dis">NB. Difference between percentages, rather than percentage difference</ref>
|-
| Africa<ref name="suez">Edge at Suez Canal</ref> || data-sort-value="C2"|Continent 2nd largest || 29.7 || 19.95% || 35% || +15.1%
|-
| Eurasia<ref name="suez" /> || data-sort-value="C1"|Continent Largest || 53.4 || 35.83% || 30% || -5.83%
|-
| North America<ref name="pan">Edge at Panama Canal</ref> || data-sort-value="C3"|Continent 3rd largest || 19.3 || 12.96% || 15% || +2.04%
|-
| South America<ref name="pan" /> || data-sort-value="C4"|Continent 4th largest || 17.8 || 11.96% || 7.8% || -4.16%
|-
| Antarctica<ref name="ice">Significant ice-sheets may complicate mapped/actual 'land' areas</ref> || data-sort-value="C5"|Continent 5th largest || 14.2 || 9.53% || 5.3% || -4.23%
|-
| Madagascar || data-sort-value="I04"|Island 4th largest || 0.592 || 0.40% || 2.9% || +2.50%
|-
| Australia || data-sort-value="C7"|Continent Smallest || 7.55 || 5.07% || 2.5% || -2.57%
|-
| Greenland<ref name="ice" /> || data-sort-value="I01"|Island Largest || 2.17 || 1.45% || 0.87% || -0.58%
|-
| Borneo || data-sort-value="I03"|Island 3rd largest || 0.749 || 0.50% || 0.37% || -0.13%
|-
| New Guinea || data-sort-value="I02"|Island 2nd largest || 0.786 || 0.53% || 0.32% || -0.21%
|-
| Japan<ref name="hon">Honshu only</ref> || data-sort-value="I07"|Island 7th largest || 0.228 || 0.15% || 0.10% || -0.05%
|-
| Mainland Britain || data-sort-value="I09"|Island 9th largest || 0.209 || 0.14% || 0.10% || -0.04%
|-
| Island of Ireland || data-sort-value="I20"|Island 20th largest || 0.082 || 0.05% || 0.03% || -0.02%
|}

<references/>

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
Bad map projection #248: Madagascator

Mercator projection but with the North Pole in the Indian Ocean so it exaggerates the size of Madagascar instead of Greenland. Various countries and oceans are labeled, and country borders are shown.
{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Bad Map Projections]]

339: Classic

2022-05-04T19:41:46Z

Aquillion: Undo revision 241966 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 339
| date = November 7, 2007
| title = Classic
| image = classic.png
| titletext = Someone get that Pachelbel's Canon kid a recording contract, stat.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] listens to the song "{{w|Stairway to Heaven}}" performed by {{w|Led Zeppelin}} using an old {{w|phonograph}}. Led Zeppelin was active during the 1970s, with Stairway To Heaven being released in 1971; as such, the music belongs to the {{w|Baby-boom generation|Baby Boomer generation}}. After the song fades out to the end, he expresses how much it's affected him by stating that the baby boomers are winning over his own generation at music. The way in which the lyrics are written evokes the sound of this particular song as it finishes and fades out.

The title text likely refers to {{w|Lim Jeong-hyun}}, the guitarist in the YouTube video [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjA5faZF1A8 ''guitar''] that went viral in 2006-2007, in which he performed a cover of "Canon Rock," a rock arrangement of {{w|Pachelbel's Canon}}. Alternatively, it may refer to {{w|JerryC}}, the original composer of "Canon Rock," who also performed the song in a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=by8oyJztzwo YouTube video], though his video did not gain as much popularity as Lim's.

The Classical era was a period in music history (1750 - 1820) that produced many musical compositions still remembered hundreds of years afterward, and the word 'classic' is now used to describe something that remains popular long after its time. The "Baby Boomer generation" is known for having created many musicians still well-loved today, including:
*{{w|Led Zeppelin}}
*{{w|The Who}}
*{{w|Deep Purple}}
*{{w|Genesis}}
*{{w|The Doors}}
*{{w|Pink Floyd}}
*{{w|Janis Joplin}}
*{{w|Jimi Hendrix}}
*{{w|The Rolling Stones}}
*{{w|Stevie Ray Vaughan}}
*{{w|Creedence Clearwater Revival}}
*{{w|Grateful Dead}}
*{{w|The Beatles}}
*[[Wikipedia:Yes (band)|Yes]]
*...

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is sitting in front of a turntable, listening to Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin. A guitarist (possibly meant to be Jimmy Page) can be seen in an inset in the top left corner of the first two panels.]
:Song: And as we wind on down the road, our shadows taller than our soul

:Song: When all is one and one is all, to be a rock and not to rooooll

:Song [fading away]: And she's buying a stairway to Heaven

:Cueball: Man. The Baby Boomers are kicking our ASSES.
:Cueball: We need to get it together, guys.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Music]]

1725: Linear Regression

2022-05-04T19:41:08Z

Aquillion: Undo revision 241967 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1725
| date = August 26, 2016
| title = Linear Regression
| image = linear_regression.png
| titletext = The 95% confidence interval suggests Rexthor's dog could also be a cat, or possibly a teapot.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Linear regression}} is a method for modeling the relationship between multiple variables. In the simplest case, it can be used for two variables wherein the model determines a "{{w|least squares|best-fit}}" line through a {{w|scatter plot}} of the datasets, together with a {{w|coefficient of determination}}, usually denoted ''r''2 or ''R''2. When only two variables are included in the regression, ''R''2 is merely the square of the correlation between the two variables. ''R''2 is a number between 0 and 1 that indicates how well one variable can be used to predict the value of another. A value of 1 means perfect correlation, while a value close to 0 indicates a weak relationship between the variables.

A {{w|constellation}} is the region of sky containing an {{w|Asterism_(astronomy)|asterism}}; an asterism is a pattern created by linking the apparent positions of stars as seen in the sky from Earth. Strictly speaking, Randall's "Rexthor" is an asterism, although "constellation" is used informally in place of "asterism" by even seasoned astronomers. Different civilizations have recognized different constellations (the modern IAU, for example, lists 88 "official" constellations), and one could create their own constellations by connecting assorted points.

In this comic, a set of data has had linear regression and some form of statistical analysis applied to it, indicating that there is low correlation between the two. The data points are so widely scattered that (as noted in the comic) it is easier to connect the data points in a constellation-like pattern than it is to determine whether the correlation is negative or positive (without looking at the trendline, of course). Because of this, [[Randall]] suggests we should be suspicious of any conclusions drawn from this data.

The comic is somewhat misleading, since the data in the graph actually has an ''R''2 of 0.02, only a third of what Randall claims. An example of published research with an ''R''2 of 0.06 where the association in the graph is noticeable (if not strong) can be found [http://www.i-jmr.org/2012/1/e1/ here] (figure 2 has ''r'' = 0.25 which corresponds to ''R''2 = 0.06). In addition, it is hard to see the association in the comic's graph because relatively few points are plotted. In a data set with 1000 observations and ''R''2 = 0.06, any association between the two variables would be quite clear.

The lines connecting the stars in this "constellation" create a crude illustration of a person with an outstretched arm holding up a dog, which could be a reference to the film {{w|Life is Beautiful}} where a waiter carries a dog on his tray without realizing. The name "Rexthor the Dog Bearer" could be a spoof on {{w|Thor}}, a Norse god who wields a hammer. By replacing his hammer with a dog and adding "Rex" (an archetypal dog name, but also meaning {{w|Rex (title)|king}} as in king of the dinosaurs T-rex), Randall may have created a comical, dog-bearing version of Thor.

The 95% {{w|confidence interval}} in statistics is such a range of an estimate, that it is expected to contain the real value (the estimated population parameter) 95% of the time. The confidence interval is a standard method to provide evaluation of the estimation error in statistics. On the right panel the resulting estimate seems to be a drawing, so the 95% confidence interval would be a set of drawings, expected to contain the correct drawing in 95% of samples where it is calculated. According to the title text, the interval in this particular sample also includes a cat and a teapot, so we can only make extremely vague statements in order to maintain 95% confidence.

The teapot may be a reference to {{w|Russell's_teapot|Russell's teapot}}, or possibly to the {{w|Sagittarius_(constellation)#Visualizations|"teapot" asterism in the constellation Sagittarius.}} Alternatively it is just because the "dog" actually looks more like a teapot than a dog, and Randall noticed this and added it in the title text. In the latter case, the two first suggestions are just another example on how humans see patterns also where there are none to find, like those of {{w|pareidolia}} mentioned in [[1551: Pluto]].

==Transcript==
:[Two square panels show identical sets of scattered black dots, with only the red additions being different.]

:[The left panel shows a slightly rising red line drawn through the middle of the panel, passing near a few dots but not obviously related to most of them. A red text is below the dots:]
:R2=0.06

:[The right panel shows many of the dots connected by red lines to form a stick figure of a man resembling the constellation Orion, with the hand on the reader's right raised and holding an object. A red text is below the dots:]
:Rexthor, the Dog-Bearer

:[A caption is below and spanning both panels:]
:I don't trust linear regressions when it's harder to guess the direction of the correlation from the scatter plot than to find new constellations on it.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Scatter plots]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Statistics]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Dogs]]

1453: fMRI

2022-05-04T19:40:38Z

Aquillion: Undo revision 241960 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1453
| date = November 28, 2014
| title = fMRI
| image = fmri.png
| titletext = They also showed activation in the parts of the brain associated with exposure to dubious study methodology, concern about unremoved piercings, and exasperation with fMRI techs who won't stop talking about Warped Tour.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Functional magnetic resonance imaging}} (fMRI), as the name suggests, is an offshoot of the MRI. It shows brain activity, typically while the subject is performing tasks or responding to stimuli. During the test, the subject is laid in a relatively small cylinder inside a big, very loud, machine which produces extremely strong magnetic fields. To prevent damage or injury, the subject must remove all metal objects from their body, including piercings, jewelry, watches, etc.

In the tests shown, the brain activity detected is a direct result of the testing environment itself, and has nothing to do with the simple tasks being performed by the subject. During fMRI participants hear loud noises, are confined in a small space (thus the claustrophobia) and have removed their jewelry. The researcher has mistaken these associated brain activities as effects as being caused by ''performing simple memory tasks'' which the participants have been asked to do and not a direct result of the settings of the test. Thus, the brain areas described by Megan are those associated with taking a functional MRI scan, rather than those associated with the "test" supposedly being carried out. The results being shown are known as {{w|Artifact_(error)|artifacts}}, which are shown later in [[1781: Artifacts]].

In real experiments, reported activity patterns are always a result of subtracting average brain activity from many samples gathered during task from so called ''resting-state'' activity - which is obtained while subjects are not engaged in any task, thus eliminating the effect the setting has on brain activity. Apparently, the researcher in the comic has failed to account for that in the analysis of the data.

The title text raises the more difficult and controversial issues of methodology, saying that the subjects ''also showed activation in the parts of the brain associated with exposure to dubious study methodology''. Here [[Randall]] makes fun of the overly confident, sweeping statements made by some fMRI researchers, often in the press. Of course, fMRI technique requires that the researcher account for several possible sources of errors by, among others, performing proper statistical analyses, multiple comparisons and using proper control groups. These are usually the reasons for {{w|Functional magnetic resonance imaging#Criticism|fMRI criticism}}. See the link for further information, including a famous ironic study of a dead salmon which was shown various pictures of people while fMRI scans were made. The scans could be interpreted as showing meaningful brain activity, unless the {{w|multiple comparisons problem}} was properly addressed. Randall has previously made fun of geographic profiles falling to this trap in comic [[1138: Heatmap|1138]].

The title text then continues with the jewelry issue, now especially the ''concern about unremoved piercings''. In the worst case these could be ripped off by the strong magnetic field. So it could be of some concern - especially when you take into consideration some of the places people may have piercings that are not obvious to the MRI personnel! The final remark about activation regards ''exasperation with fMRI techs who won't stop talking about Warped Tour''. "{{w|Warped Tour}}" refers to a traveling music festival that has been going since 1995, originally as a punk rock festival, but now with a more diverse set of music. Due to the nature of {{w|Moshing|Mosh Pits}}, the loud, cacophonous music, the facial jewelry of concert-goers and the tight quarters of the pit make it similar in description to an MRI.

==Transcript==
:[Megan talking to an unseen audience in front of an fMRI brain scan.]
:Megan: Our fMRI study found that subjects performing simple memory tasks showed activity in the parts of the brain associated with loud noises, claustrophobia, and the removal of jewelry.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Psychology]]
[[Category:Science]]

2468: Inheritance

2022-05-04T19:40:18Z

Aquillion: Undo revision 241961 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 2468
| date = May 26, 2021
| title = Inheritance
| image = inheritance.png
| titletext = People ask me whether I feel any moral qualms about the source of the points, but if he hadn't introduced factory farming to Agricola, someone else would have.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is in reference to {{w|Strategy game|strategy board games}}, which often score players on some type of point system based on a variety of possible achievements. The joke in this comic is that Cueball has a massive sum of points that were not scored in the current game but rather handed down from his grandfather. Board games do not normally include an inheritance from previous sessions{{Citation needed}}, in contrast to real life where some people become wealthy by inheriting vast sums of money from ancestors. Such inheritances tend to lead to 'successes' in life for those who have done little, if anything, to earn their wealth. Cueball offers to distribute a trifling fraction of his points to the other players, teasing them, but he will still have an insurmountable advantage. Despite his 'generosity', no one wants to play a game that they have no chance of winning. The value of his score, 10,019, seems to indicate that he "earned" 19 points during the course of the game (less than his competitors) and then added 10,000 from his 'inheritance'.

Some board games do include a "legacy" mechanic where players who have played the game previously (and thus benefit from meta knowledge) can be granted additional items or challenges to keep the game interesting for them, but not usually to the point of breaking the game's balance. As well, gifting these achievements to anyone else is seen as absurd.

The comic may be a reference to {{w|Category:Economic simulation board games
|economic simulation board games}} like {{w|Monopoly (game)|''Monopoly''}}, which was created as a critique to capitalism; in this case, no one can win the game against people who start out with a large amount of accumulated wealth. See also the '[https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/a-small-loan-of-a-million-dollars Small Loan of a Million Dollars]' trope of a profile in which the author or subject discusses the simple tricks they used to retire early or buy a house, often involving a [https://twitter.com/macaulaybalkan/status/1398805590030241792 hurried admission] of financial assistance from a family member.

The title text asks Cueball if he has any moral qualms over the source of these points, then indicates his grandfather's fortune was made through {{w|factory farming}} in the farm-themed board game {{w|Agricola_(board_game)|''Agricola''}}. Factory farming is a broad term for applying mass-production techniques to agriculture, treating both plants and animals as commodities to be processed as efficiently as possible. These techniques are condemned, at least in some circles, as being cruel to livestock, in addition to having serious environmental and land-use implications, among other criticisms. The implication is that Cueball's grandfather somehow managed to introduce an immoral and/or socially harmful mechanic into a board game, greatly enriching himself and his heirs. This echoes another concern about inherited wealth: that the source of the money may have been unethical, but the heirs still get to enjoy the advantages, without considering themselves accountable for the harm. Cueball brushes off this criticism with the claim that the change was inevitable, which is a common response to analogous real-life concerns.

It could also be a reference to inheritance in programming, where a class truly inherits everything from its 'ancestors'. Similarly, it could be a reference to evolution in biology; in evolution, an individual with beneficial traits is more likely to survive to have offspring, and the offspring accumulate the beneficial traits (“points”) of their “ancestors”, making them more likely to survive and “win”. The game Agricola was previously mentioned in [[696: Strip Games]] and [[778: Scheduling]].

This comic possibly alludes to a 100 percent inheritance tax, as such one is effectively employed between each round of a board game - no points are carried over between rounds. In extension, Randall's position might be that only a 100 percent inheritance tax can ensure that everybody begins the "game" - namely his or her life - in a fair manner, and with the same possibilities. Though in practice this too would be unfair, as those who get more points in the game will still give their extra points to the people they want to see succeed along with them, they would just have to make sure they do it while still playing the game.

==Transcript==

:[Ponytail, White Hat, Megan, and Cueball are playing a board game. There are drinks on the table. Ponytail is writing something]

:Ponytail: Let's see...I got 31, you have 28, 35 for you, and-
:Cueball: -I've got 10,019.
:Ponytail: *Sigh*
:Cueball: Hey, add another 20 to everyone, on me!
:White Hat: ''I hate this''.

:[Caption beneath the panel:]
:No one wants to play board games with me ever since I inherited 4,000,000 victory points from my grandfather.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Board games]]

2243: Star Wars Spoiler Generator

2020-03-13T13:10:17Z

Aquillion: /* Table */ tweak; avoid citing crank websites, details here already covered by wiki-link. Listing related comics.

{{comic
| number = 2243
| date = December 18, 2019
| title = Star Wars Spoiler Generator
| image = star wars spoiler generator.png
| titletext = The heroes seem to be gaining the upper hand until Darth Juul manages to flip the switch on the car wash control panel from 'REGULAR' to 'PREMIUM.'
}}

==Explanation==
On December 20, 2019 (2 days after the publication of this comic), the final movie of the "Skywalker saga" of ''Star Wars'' films, ''{{w|Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker}}'', was officially released to the US. It received a world premiere in Los Angeles on December 16, so there are lots of spoilers online, and also lots of people who want to avoid spoilers. [[Randall]] has created a flowchart that generates "spoilers" to the film, but as he probably has not seen the film (or, if he has, he doesn't actually want to spoil it for us), all of the so-called spoilers are nonsensical.

The formula for each spoiler is as follows: "In this Star Wars movie, our heroes return to take on the First Order and new villain '''[villain name]''' with help from their new friend '''[friend name]'''. Rey builds a new lightsaber with a '''[color]''' blade, and they head out to confront the First Order's new superweapon, the '''[superweapon name]''', a space station capable of '''[evil plan]'''. They unexpectedly join forces with their old enemy '''[character]''' and destroy the superweapon in a battle featuring '''[strange event]'''. P.S. Rey's parents are '''[character]''' and '''[character]'''".

The {{w|First Order (Star Wars)|First Order}} is the main antagonist group in the ''Star Wars'' {{w|Star Wars sequel trilogy|sequel trilogy}} series. In ''{{w|Star Wars: The Force Awakens}}'', they use a superweapon in their base, Starkiller Base, to destroy the planetary system housing the headquarters of the {{w|New Republic (Star Wars)|New Republic}}, the democratic government which was formed after the {{w|Galactic Empire (Star Wars)|Empire}}'s defeat in ''{{w|Return of the Jedi}}''.

"Building a {{w|lightsaber}}" is one of the rites of passage for becoming a {{w|Jedi}} Knight. In the {{w|Star Wars prequel trilogy|prequel trilogy}}, new Jedi build lightsabers as an official part of the journey towards Knighthood, and in the {{w|Star Wars Trilogy|original trilogy}}, {{w|Luke Skywalker}} builds a lightsaber between ''The Empire Strikes Back'' and ''Return of the Jedi'' as part of his training with {{w|Yoda}}. {{w|Rey (Star Wars)|Rey}} has used the lightsaber that {{w|Darth Vader|Anakin Skywalker}} made and used (which Luke also used when he was a new Jedi) for the first two movies of the sequel trilogy, and so it would be thematically appropriate for her to build her own prior to the trilogy's final entry. Most Jedi's lightsabers are either blue or green, with a few notable exceptions (e.g. {{w|Mace Windu}}'s purple lightsaber signifies his incredible combat prowess). Kyber crystals are aligned with the Light Side of {{w|the Force}}, so {{w|Sith}} must overpower and "bleed" their crystals before they will function for them, which causes their distinctive red color. Having a lightsaber of a color other than blue, green, or red is often seen in the ''Star Wars'' fandom as a sign of being a "{{tvtropes|MarySue|Mary Sue}}", which is an accusation which has been made of Rey.

Another common plot point in ''Star Wars'' media is the construction, use, and destruction of a superweapon. These are inspired by stories and media of World War II, in which militaries sought to find, attack, and destroy critical elements of their enemies' resources and infrastructure, and meanwhile would construct elaborate defenses for themselves. The attack on the {{w|Death Star}} in particular is inspired by {{w|Operation Chastise}}, the "bouncing bomb" attack on Germany's hydroelectric power plants; Operation Chastise was dramatised in the {{w|The Dam Busters (book)|1951 book}} and {{w|The Dam Busters (film)|1955 film}} ''The Dam Busters'', which was [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNdb03Hw18M very thoroughly homaged] by ''A New Hope''. The original trilogy of movies only had two Death Stars, but superweapons quickly became a staple of the {{w|Star Wars expanded to other media|Expanded Universe}} fiction, to the point that one book had {{w|Han Solo}} make fun of the Empire's tendency towards building superweapons, proposing such ridiculous names as "Galaxy Destructor" and "Nostril of Palpatine". Superweapons are common in superhero stories.

Redemption and making allies of old enemies is also a common plot point in ''Star Wars''. Anakin Skywalker fell to the Dark Side and became Darth Vader, but eventually returned to the Light Side to protect his son, and Han Solo was initially a morally ambiguous character who was eventually convinced to join the Rebellion.

Rey, one of the main characters in the sequel trilogy series is an orphan, who was left behind on the planet Jakku as a child. As Rey is Force-sensitive and adept at using a lightsaber, there is much speculation among Star Wars fans as to the identity of her parents. Many major characters in ''Star Wars'' have unexpected heritages of great portent, most famously Luke, who was very distressed to learn that Darth Vader did not ''kill'' his father, as Obi-Wan had told him, but ''is'' his father. In ''{{w|Star Wars: The Last Jedi}}'', villain {{w|Kylo Ren}} tells her that she is the child of "filthy junk traders", but many fans speculate that he was lying to her.

The title text refers to the bottom option of the [strange event in battle] section. Apparently Lord Juul (or Darth Juul) is fighting the heroes in the Sith car wash. It is unclear what "flipping the switch" from Regular to Premium would do, but it seems to be beneficial to Darth Juul. A "premium" car wash usually has more features than a regular car wash, e.g. more cleaning brushes, waxing the car, cleaning the tires, etc., so perhaps the premium mode activates additional lightsabers.

This is the second false fact generating comic, after [[1930: Calendar Facts]].

==Table==
{| class="wikitable"
! Entry
! Explanation
|-
! colspan="2" | New villain
|-
| Kyle Ren
|Kyle Ren is one letter away from {{w|Kylo Ren|''Kylo'' Ren}}, the adopted "Sith name" of Ben Solo, son of Han and Leia Solo. Kylo is one of the antagonists of the first two movies in the sequel trilogy, and presumably will be so in the third, but there's nobody in the films named "Kyle". (There are a handful of ''Legends'' characters named Kyle, most famously Kyle Katarn, protagonist of the ''Star Wars: Jedi Knight'' video game series.)
|-
| {{w|Malloc}}
| Malloc is a function used in the C programming language to allocate more memory in the running of a program. Malloc may sound similar to {{w|Darth Malak|Malak}}, the antagonist of the ''{{w|Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic}}'' video game. Improper use of the malloc and free functions can cause "memory leak" bugs in programs.
|-
|Darth Sebelius
| {{w|Sebelius}} is the last name of several people.
* {{w|Kathleen Sebelius}} is a former state representative and governor of Kansas who was Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services under President Obama. Sebelius was the named party in a {{w|National Federation of Independent Business v. Sebelius|Supreme Court case}} that upheld the provisions of the {{w|Affordable Care Act}} ("Obamacare"). The naming of Sebelius as a villain may reference the fact that the ACA has been controversial among certain groups.
* {{w|Jean Sibelius}} is a reknowned Finnish composer. {{w|Sibelius (scorewriter)|Sibelius}} is also the name of a piece of music software.
Randall may have chosen this surname as it sounds similar to {{w|Darth Sidious}}, the overarching villain in the first 6 Star Wars films, who is rumored to return in the upcoming film.
|-
|{{w|Theranos}}
|Theranos was a medical technology company founded by {{w|Elizabeth Holmes}} which claimed to have developed revolutionary blood tests that could produce more data from limited volumes of blood than ever before. They were eventually found to have engaged in fraudulent activity, having tricked investors into thinking their technology was performing better than it actually was or ever could, which resulted in fines for Holmes and Theranos president {{w|Ramesh Balwani}} and the bankruptcy of Theranos. Theranos also sounds similar to {{w|Thanos}}, the main villain of the Infinity Saga in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
|-
|Lord Juul
|{{w|Juul}} is a brand of e-cigarettes. In addition to the broader controversy surrounding electronic cigarettes, Juul has been investigated for its sale of flavored additives for their cigarettes, which are alleged to be particularly attractive to minors. Juul is reminiscent of the "uu" in the names for clones {{w|Joruus C'baoth}} and {{w|Luuke Skywalker}} in {{w|Star Wars Legends|''Star Wars'' Legends}} stories, thus implying Lord Juul is a clone of a character named Jul. ''{{w|Yule|Jul}}'' is the Scandinavian name for the midwinter holidays, which fits as the comic appeared within the Yule season of 2019.
|-
! colspan="2" | New friend
|-
| Kim Spacemeasurer
| May be a parody of the name {{w|Luke Skywalker}}, one of the main characters in the original trilogy of films. Other "Nounverber" names in ''Star Wars'' include Starkiller, Luke's original last name which was later applied to Starkiller Base in ''The Force Awakens'', and Biggs Darklighter, Luke's childhood friend and fellow Rebel pilot who died in the attack on the original Death Star. Also note another Star Wars comic posted a few weeks before this one, [[2229: Rey and Kylo]], which shows those characters actually deciding to measure properties of space.
|-
|Teen Yoda
|{{w|The Child (Star Wars character)|The Child}}, commonly called "Baby Yoda" by fans and the media, is a breakout character from the Disney+ series ''{{w|The Mandalorian}}''. Randall envisions a "teenage" version of this character teaming up with the main characters. This may be in analogy to Groot in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, who appeared as an adult, then child, then teen, or other adaptations of original characters like the Teen Titans.
|-
|Dab Tweetdeck
| A {{w|Dab (dance)|dab}} is a dance move which is many decades old but was made popular by that name in the late 2010's. {{w|TweetDeck}} is an application for managing Twitter accounts. Taken together, "Dab Tweetdeck" could be a character name proposed by clueless Disney executives to attract "the kids" to see ''The Rise of Skywalker'', although one would think that this name would be heavily promoted and thus not a spoiler in that case.
Tweetdeck sounds similar to twi'lek, one of the humanoid alien races in Star Wars, who often are employed as dancers.
|-
| Yaz Progestin
| Yaz sounds like the first name of {{w|Maz Kanata}}, a supporting protagonist in the sequel trilogy. Yaz is a medication which contains {{w|Progestin}}, which imitates the effects of {{w|progesterone}}, a female sex hormone. It is used for purposes including birth control and acne treatment.
|-
| TI-83
| Droids in the Star Wars universe typically have names with letters and numbers, such as R2-D2, C-3PO, BB-8, etc. Randall has created a new character called "TI-83". In real life, the {{w|TI-83}} is a model of graphing calculator manufactured by {{w|Texas Instruments}} that is commonly used in American high schools. This mirrors the origin of the name "R2-D2", which was inspired when Lucas was working on ''{{w|American Graffiti}}'' and was asked for Reel 2, Dialog Track 2, which was abbreviated "R-2-D-2". He remarked that it would be a "great name" and included it in his then-in-development script for ''Star Wars''.
|-
! colspan="2" | Lightsaber colors
|-
| [beige/ochre/mauve/aquamarine/taupe]
| These are different colors, none of which is a "traditional" color for a lightsaber. {{w|Beige}} is a pale-grayish yellow. {{w|Ochre}} is a clay earth pigment ranging from yellow to deep orange or brown. {{w|Mauve}} is a pale purple color. A purple color has been used for a lightsaber in the prequel trilogy series, by Jedi Master {{w|Mace Windu}}. {{w|Aquamarine (color)|Aquamarine}} is a blueish green color. {{w|Taupe}} is a dark brown color between brown and gray.
|-
! colspan="2" | Superweapon names
|-
|Sun Obliterator
| There was an Expanded Universe superweapon called the "Sun Crusher", which would infiltrate a star system and shoot a special torpedo into the star to make it go supernova. May also be a reference to one of the doodles from What If?.
|-
|Moonsquisher
| There were no ''Star Wars'' superweapons with the word "Moon" in their title (or "squisher"), but in the no-longer-canon ''New Jedi Order'' series, Chewbacca was squished ''by'' a moon that was intentionally de-orbited by invading Yuuzhan Vong.
|-
|World Eater
| Possibly a reference to {{w|Alduin}}, the main villain of the popular game {{w|The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim}}. In the Expanded Universe, the Empire used World Devastators, massive machines that would strip-mine planets with tractor beams and make weapons and spacecraft from the extracted resources. Another possible reference is to the {{w|The Doomsday Machine (Star_Trek: The Original Series)|Planet Eater}} doomsday machine from the original Star Trek series. A further possible reference is to the World Eaters space marine legion from {{w|Warhammer 40,000}} franchise.
|-
|Planet Zester
| A {{w|zester}} is a cooking tool for zesting citrus fruit, that is, scraping off the outer layer of a citrus fruit to obtain the flavorful outer layer of its skin. Zesting a planet would be devastating to anything built or living on its surface.
|-
|Superconducting supercollider
| A {{w|supercollider}}, or particle accelerator, is a machine used to accelerate charged particles to very high speeds, for testing in particle physics. The {{w|Superconducting Super Collider}} was a proposed accelerator which was to be constructed in Texas, but was cancelled partway through construction. There has been some minor controversy over the {{w|safety of high-energy particle collision experiments}}, which could theoretically produce black holes, {{w|strangelets}}, or other doomsday scenarios, but all scientific examination of the energies involved has shown that all currently-existing and planned particle accelerators pose no threats. So far, the Earth has not been destroyed by any particle accelerator.{{Citation needed}}
|-
! colspan="2" | Station capabilities
|-
|blowing up a planet with a bunch of beams of energy that combine into one
|This is how the {{w|Death Star}} was depicted in ''{{w|Star Wars: A New Hope}}''. Many beams converged together to form one energy beam. The superweapon was used to destroy the planet Alderaan, as a way to intimidate Princess Leia.
|-
|blowing up a bunch of planets with one beam of energy that splits into many
|This is how the superweapon on Starkiller Base was depicted in ''{{w|Star Wars: The Force Awakens}}''. A single energy beam split into several beams, allowing it to attack many planets. The superweapon was used to destroy the planets in the Hosnian system, the headquarters of the New Republic.
|-
|cutting a planet in half and smashing the halves together like two cymbals
|Jango Fett's "seismic charge" weapon, which he used in a dogfight against Obi-Wan Kenobi in ''Attack of the Clones'', produced a plane wave that cut asteroids in half; presumably a larger weapon of this kind could do the same to a planet.
|-
|increasing the CO2 levels in a planet's atmosphere, causing rapid heating
|This is a reference to {{w|climate change}} currently occurring on planet Earth. The {{w|Scientific consensus on climate change|overwhelming consensus among climate scientists}} is that this is that this shift is caused by human factors, such as the burning of fossil fuels releasing ancient carbon sources into the air as carbon dioxide, and mass deforestation reducing the number of trees converting the carbon dioxide into sugars and collagen. Climate change has been addressed repeatedly by the comic before, including [[164: Playing Devil's Advocate to Win]], [[1321: Cold]], [[1379: 4.5 Degrees]], and [[1732: Earth Temperature Timeline]].
This seems to have occurred on the planet {{w|Venus}}. Venus' atmosphere is 97% carbon dioxide, and it is also the hottest planet in the Solar System, due to a greenhouse effect, preventing the planet from cooling.
|-
|triggering the end credits before the movie is done
|The {{w|closing credits}} or end credits of a film is the list of cast and crew who were involved in the making of the film. It would be quite strange to show the end credits of the film before it has concluded, although it is one of the {{tvtropes|CreditsGag|types of credits gag}} used in other media. This entry is considerably less damaging to a planet{{Citation needed}} than the other 4 entries in this section, but if early audiences are left unsatisfied by the movie, they might tell everyone else not to see it, which would put the ''Star Wars'' franchise in a perilous financial situation. This would negatively impact the villains as well as the heroes, but they might consider this a worthwhile trade if it is their best option at harming the heroes. This option may be a reference to exploiting a glitch to trigger a [https://youtu.be/Jf9i7MjViCE credit warp] in games such as Super Mario World. This may also be a reference to the Netflix interactive movie "Bandersnatch" in which certain choices triggered the end of the movie and caused it to start the credits.
|-
! colspan="2" | Old enemy/new friend
|-
|{{w|Boba Fett}}
| Boba Fett is a famous bounty hunter introduced in the ''{{w|Star Wars Holiday Special}}'' and made popular by ''{{w|The Empire Strikes Back}}''. On the Empire's orders, he helped capture Han Solo as part of a plot to capture Luke Skywalker. He later tried to prevent Luke from rescuing Han, but was knocked into a sarlacc pit, where he was presumed eaten. In the Expanded Universe, he survived and did eventually join the protagonists against extragalactic invaders; his survival has not been confirmed by Disney's new canon, but he would be a plausible character to bring back in ''The Rise of Skywalker''. A Mandalorian (not Boba Fett, but a bounty hunter using body-armour  from the same planet) is featured in the new Disney+ series, ''The Mandalorian''.
|-
|[https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Salacious_B._Crumb Salacious Crumb]
| Salacious B. Crumb is a Kowakian monkey-lizard who was Jabba the Hutt's jester. He wasn't exactly a major adversary, but he did pull one of C-3PO's eyes out. He was last seen on Jabba the Hutt's sail barge, which was made to explode after Han, Luke, and the rest of the heroes escaped from it, and is presumed dead.
|-
|[https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Exogorth The Space Slug]
| In ''The Empire Strikes Back'', Han Solo pilots the Millennium Falcon into a giant cave to evade pursuit and get time to effect repairs. He is interrupted when the cave turns out to be the mouth of a giant space slug, which the Falcon barely escapes. A giant space slug might be a powerful ally in a battle against a giant space station.
|-
|The bottom half of {{w|Darth Maul}}
| Darth Maul was cut in half by Obi-Wan Kenobi at the end of ''The Phantom Menace''. His "upper half", attached to mechanical legs, has returned as a villain in the ''Clone Wars'' TV series and ''{{w|Solo: A Star Wars Story|Solo}}''. Given that Maul was a Sith and Kenobi a Jedi, who trained Luke, who trained Rey, it would be extremely unexpected for his "bottom half" to join forces with the heroes, although presumably his bottom half would have to be attached to something, which might be better disposed towards Jedi.
If Darth Maul's bottom half did join the heroes, they might aid the heroes by using [https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Force_kick force kicks].
|-
|YouTube commenters
| The sequel trilogy has received more mixed reviews from watchers than Disney might like, and many vocal non-fans have taken to commenting on YouTube (via videos and comments) on what they don't like about the new movies and new characters. If ''The Rise of Skywalker'' fully wins the crowd, an alliance between the heroes and their former critics would be extremely powerful, but with Rotten Tomatoes showing a critics' aggregate score of [https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/star_wars_the_rise_of_skywalker/ less than 60%] ("rotten"), it's going to be an uphill battle.
|-
! colspan="2" | Battle feature
|-
|a bow that shoots little lightsaber-headed arrows
|May be a reference to the [https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Bowcaster bowcaster], a laser crossbow weapon used by the Wookie {{w|Chewbacca}}. It is unclear if the lightsaber-headed arrows are actually lightsabers in itself, as they would seem difficult to produce (as opposed to the Death Star, or even a bunch of sword versions of the arrow).
|-
|X-Wings and TIE fighters dodging the giant letters of the opening crawl
| The {{w|Star Wars opening crawl|"opening crawl"}} is a signature motif used in all the main Star Wars films, to explain the backstory and context of each film. {{w|X-Wing}}s and {{w|TIE fighter}}s are fighter-type spaceships used by the Rebels (and Resistance later on) and the Empire (and First Order), respectively. A dogfight scene during the opening crawl would involve {{w|Fourth wall|breaking the fourth wall}}, as the opening crawl is not presumed to be part of the universe of the films (except when so parodied, such as in {{w|Airplane II: The Sequel}}).
|-
|a Sith educational display that uses Force lightning to demonstrate the dielectric breakdown of air
|[https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Force_lightning Force lightning] is a power that Force users can use to generate electric energy from the user's hands. It was first used in ''Return of the Jedi'' by Emperor Palpatine (Darth Sidious) when Luke Skywalker refuses to give in to the dark side of the Force. Palpatine attempts to kill Luke with Force lightning, but Darth Vader saves Luke by throwing Palpatine down a reactor chute. Palpatine also used Force Lightning on Mace Windu and Yoda during their battles at the end of ''Revenge of the Sith''. None of these uses of Sith lightning were intended to be educational on the nature of {{w|lightning}}, although they could have been very educational on the pain, cruelty, and "unlimited power!" offered by the Dark Side of the Force. This might also be a reference to [https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Sith_holocron sith holocron] — a device to store Force-related information and secrets, possibly.
|-
|Kylo Ren putting on another helmet over his smaller one
|Kylo Ren is famous for wearing his helmet in ''The Force Awakens'', which he styled after Darth Vader's helmet. Putting on another helmet over it would require a comically large helmet that might be compared to Dark Helmet, a character from the parody film ''{{w|Spaceballs}}'' who parodies Darth Vader.
|-
|a Sith car wash where the bristles on the brushes are little lightsabers
| This may be a reference to some reactions to Kylo Ren's "lightcrossguards". In-universe, his lightsaber is said to contain a Kyber crystal of unusual power and instability, which produces excess energy that must be vented through side channels. However, many watchers found it ridiculous to present a lightsaber that appeared to have little lightsabers sticking out of it, and produced [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/crossguard-lightsaber fanart] accordingly.
While an unexpected car wash finale scene seems unlikely, it is not without precedent in cinema; ''{{w|Adolescence of Utena}}'' featured the title character unexpectedly entering a car wash and transforming into a car (followed by a segue into a car race sequence).
George Lucas, the originator of Star Wars also wrote the movie "American Graffiti," which featured cars prominently. A subsequent movie "Car Wash," has been seen as a commentary on or imitation of "American Graffiti." Including a Sith car wash might reference the relation between these two films.[https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/25/movies/streaming-car-wash.html ‘Car Wash,’ a Raunchy 1970s Comedy Brimming With Meta and Mayhem].
|-
! colspan="2" | Rey's parent #1
|-
| {{w|Luke Skywalker|Luke}}
| Luke Skywalker is the main character of the original Star Wars films. Of all of the characters presented here, he is the one with the greatest likelihood of being Rey's father. When Maz gave Rey Luke's lightsaber, she said "[t]hat lightsaber was Luke's, and his father's before him, and now, it calls to you." Luke does not seem to recognize Rey as his child (or as anybody in particular), but Darth Vader did not recognize Luke or Leia as his children -- and indeed did not know that he had any living children -- until they were grown. However, unlike Anakin Skywalker, or the Luke Skywalker from the pre-Disney Expanded Universe, no canon materials have presented anyone with whom Luke has fallen in love or fathered a child.
|-
|{{w|Princess Leia|Leia}} and {{w|Han Solo|Han}}
|Princess Leia and Han Solo are the other main characters of the original Star Wars films. It is unlikely that Leia or Han are Rey's parents as they did not seem to recognize Rey in any of the sequel trilogy films, nor is there any indication that they have had more than one child (Ben Solo, AKA Kylo Ren).
|-
|{{w|Obi-Wan Kenobi|Obi-Wan}}
|Obi-Wan Kenobi was one of the main characters in the Star Wars prequel trilogy. He, along with Qui-Gon Jinn, discovered Anakin Skywalker, who later became Darth Vader. Kenobi dies at the second act of ''Star Wars: A New Hope'', sacrificing himself to allow Luke, Leia, and Han to escape the Death Star. Marriage and parenthood were forbidden by the Jedi Order, and Obi-Wan generally adhered to the Order's rules more closely than Anakin did; Obi-Wan did feel some mutual romantic attraction with Duchess Satine of Mandalore, but they both chose to remain in their respective organizations rather than pursue a relationship. Also, Obi-Wan stopped having a physical form decade before Rey was conceived.
|-
|a random junk trader
|This is who Kylo Ren claims that Rey is descended from: worthless, random junk traders.
|-
! colspan="2" | Rey's parent #2
|-
|{{w|Poe Dameron|Poe}}
|Poe Dameron is one of the main characters of the Star Wars sequel trilogy. He is a pilot in the Resistance. He is only 13 years older than Rey, and thus is most likely not her father.
|-
|{{w|BB-8}}
|BB-8 is an astromech droid owned by Poe Dameron. It is unlikely that Rey is descended from a (non-living) droid.
|-
|[ {{w|Amilyn Holdo}} /Laura Dern]
|Vice Admiral Amilyn Holdo, portrayed by Laura Dern, was a leader in the Resistance. She dies at the end of ''The Last Jedi'', sacrificing herself by jumping to light speed straight into the First Order's pursuing starship. Randall presents both Admiral Holdo, the character, and Laura Dern, the actress, as separate options for Rey's mother, but the former is not supported by any story material and the latter is impossible (Dern is alive here and now, not "a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away").
|-
|a random junk trader
| (see above)
|-
|that one droid from the Jawa Sandcrawler that says ''Gonk''
|This is [https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/GNK_power_droid a droid] from ''Star Wars: A New Hope'' that says "Gonk". As in the BB-8 entry, it is unlikely that Rey is descended from a droid.
|-
|}

==Transcript==
:<big>Star Wars Spoiler Generator</big>

:[Shown below is a branching flowchart of sorts that begins at the phrase "In this Star Wars movie, our heroes return to take on the First Order and new villain...", then flows through various paths to build up a story.]

:In this Star Wars movie, our heroes return to take on the First Order and new villain...
::Kyle Ren
::Malloc
::Darth Sebelius
::Theranos
::Lord Juul

:...with help from their new friend...
::Kim Spacemeasurer
::Teen Yoda
::Dab Tweetdeck
::Yaz Progestin
::TI-83

:Rey builds a new lightsaber with a...
::beige
::ochre
::mauve
::aquamarine
::taupe

:...blade, and they head out to confront the First Order's new superweapon, the...
::Sun Obliterator
::Moonsquisher
::World Eater
::Planet Zester
::Superconducting Supercollider

:...a space station capable of...
::blowing up a planet with a bunch of beams of energy that combine into one
::blowing up a bunch of planets with one beam of energy that splits into many
::cutting a planet in half and smashing the halves together like two cymbals
::increasing the CO2 levels in a planet's atmosphere, causing rapid heating
::triggering the end credits before the movie is done

:They unexpectedly join forces with their old enemy...
::Boba Fett
::Salacious Crumb
::The Space Slug
::the bottom half of Darth Maul
::Youtube commenters

:...and destroy the superweapon in a battle featuring
::a bow that shoots little lightsaber-headed arrows
::X-Wings and TIE fighters dodging the giant letters of the opening crawl
::a Sith educational display that uses Force Lightning to demonstrate the dielectric breakdown of air
::Kylo Ren putting on another helmet over his smaller one
::a Sith car wash where the bristles on the brushes are little lightsabers

:P.S. Rey's parents are...
::Luke
::Leia
::Han
::Obi-Wan
::a random junk trader

:...and...
::Poe
::BB-8
::Amilyn Holdo
::Laura Dern
::a random junk trader
::that one droid from the Jawa Sandcrawler that says ''Gonk''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]] 
[[Category:Programming]]

2191: Conference Question

2019-08-19T15:18:21Z

Aquillion: Adding a link to a recent viral blogpost about this that may have influenced the comic.

{{comic
| number = 2191
| date = August 19, 2019
| title = Conference Question
| image = conference_question.png
| titletext = I also have an utterance. Less of an utterance and more of an incantation. Less of an incantation and more of a malediction. Less of a malediction and more of a Word of Power. Less of a Word of Power and more of an Unforgivable Curse.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT that's more of a FRIENDLY BUG. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Usually at a conference or other event involving a speaker addressing a crowd, members of the crowd are given the chance to ask questions. This is intended so that people can perhaps ask the speaker to elaborate on a point they've made, or to ask the speaker's opinion on a topic related to their talk.

Occasionally, people at such an event will use (or, rather, abuse) the opportunity to ask a question to instead provide their own (unsolicited) opinion or statement. Such statements are often preceded with something along the lines of "I have a question. Well, less of a question and more of a comment." This formulation in particular has attracted a lot of criticism, eg. [https://jamesmendezhodes.com/blog/2019/4/30/less-of-a-question-more-of-a-comment].

In the comic, this idea is taken to an extreme, with [[Beret Guy]] not only transforming the opportunity to ask a question into an opportunity to make a statement, but through successive transformations, turning this into an opportunity to show off a bug he has found.

Ironically, his final sentence "Do you want to meet it?" is, in fact, a question (though presumably not one related to the topic of the speaker's talk).

The title text refers to successively worse forms of magic spells which would, presumably, have a negative effect upon the listener. A malediction is another word for curse (the prefix "mal" being a Latin root meaning "evil"). "Word of Power" probably refers to the dragonish form of magic in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. The term "Unforgivable Curse" refers to a set of three spells from the Harry Potter series, said to be so evil that their use on another person could not be forgiven- the three spells are able to mind-control, torture, or kill their target respectively.

The title text can be interpreted as a reply by [[Hairy]] (the speaker) to Beret Guy, indicating his annoyance at the topic being derailed. Potentially, it could also be representative of the author's feelings towards those who abuse the opportunity to ask a question in order to make a statement.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[ [[Hairy]] stands atop a stage, apparently having just addressed a crowd of seated people. [[Beret Guy]] stands in the middle of the crowd, addressing Hairy. One of Beret Guy's hands is raised at chest height. ]

:Beret Guy: I have a question.
:Beret Guy: Well, less of a question and more of a comment.
:Beret Guy: I guess it's less of a comment and more of an utterance
:Beret Guy: Really it's less an utterance more an air pressure wave.
:Beret Guy: It's less an air pressure wave and more a friendly hand wave.
:Beret Guy: I guess it's less a friendly wave than it is a friendly bug.
:Beret Guy: I found this bug and now we're friends. Do you want to meet it?

{{comic discussion}}

2175: Flag Interpretation

2019-07-15T06:43:42Z

Aquillion: Another interpretation.

{{comic
| number = 2175
| date = July 12, 2019
| title = Flag Interpretation
| image = flag_interpretation.png
| titletext = When Salvador Dalí died, it took months to get all the flagpoles sufficiently melted.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an IMPORTANT CLONE. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
In many countries including the United States (whose flag is depicted in the comic), it is customary to lower the flag to {{w|half staff}} when important public figures die. This is normally done by raising the flag to full height, then immediately "lowering" it to half height. In the US, regulations regarding flying the flag at half staff specify the length of time for the flag to be flown at half staff, and are based on the importance of the person who has died. There are no regulations where the flag would be flown at any height other than full height or half staff, and there are no regulations where multiple flags would be flown.

The definition of half-staff, or half-mast, differs between countries and does not necessarily imply flying the flag at half the height of the pole or mast. For example, in the USA the flag is usually flown at half the height of the pole, whereas UK practice is to leave space for an 'invisible flag' above the flown flag, which may mean flying the flag near the top of the pole depending on its height. These differing practices contribute to confusion and ambiguity concerning the flag height, which is exploited in the comic.

Randall, as usual, makes a humorous list of fictional additional traditions.

The title text is a reference to ''{{w|The Persistence of Memory}}'' and other paintings and sculptures by {{w|Salvador Dalí}} which include watches and other objects that are melting.

===Table===
{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Flag Position !! Randall's Interpretation || Explanation
|-
|Flag at half mast
|Someone important died.
|In the U.S., it is customary to lower the flag to half mast when somebody important died. In the flag raising ritual, the flag is supposed to be raised to full mast first and then lowered back to half mast. At the end of the day, the flag is supposed to re-raised to full mast before lowering the flag from the flagpole.
|-
|Flag at three-quarter mast
|Someone died but we're not sure how we feel about them.
|Assuming that this way of flying the flag follows the same custom as above, it can be inferred that the flag was first raised to full mast, and then lowered by only half the distance customary for honoring an important person. If the people in charge of raising the flag are not convinced of a deceased person's importance, it follows that they would give said person a half-hearted commemoration.
A more literal interpretation is that a single full-mast flag can be taken to mean "nobody important died". If so, 3/4ths mast is a compromise between that and the half mast meaning; in other words, "someone half-important died".
|-
|Flag at base of the mast
|Everyone important died.
|Likewise, if the flag is lowered halfway when an important person dies, lowering it twice as far implies that multiple important people have died. No intermediate positions are shown, so we can't be sure exactly how many. However, Randall does not specify his definition of "everyone," so this scenario could possibly imply that there was an event that led to the complete cessation of life on Earth, possibly leaving nobody to raise the flag.
|-
|Two flags at full mast
|Someone important was successfully cloned.
|Following the "flag for important people" rule, two flags would mean two (cloned) important people.
|-
|Two flags at half mast
|An important person died battling their evil clone.
|The concept of evil clone (or twin) is popular in fiction; in this case, two flags at half mast would mean that both clones (good and evilly diverged), or perhaps the cloned person and their clone-gone-bad (antithetical to the presumably 'good' original), died in some battle where both failed in trying to establish themselves as the sole surviving version.
|-
|Flag at half mast and upside-down
|Nobody has died for weeks and that seems good but statistically it's very alarming.
|Since on average [https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/ someone dies every few seconds], it would indeed be extremely unlikely that no one would die for weeks in a row. Although not having anyone die seems good on the surface, it would trigger alarm about why this was happening; what mysterious force could possibly cause cessation of all deaths? And will it continue into the future, triggering an overpopulation crisis in short order?
In real life, flying the US flag {{w|Distress_signal#Inverted_flags|upside down}} is widely considered a distress signal, "a signal of dire distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property", and would not be intended to indicate an important figure has died.
|-
|One normal-sized flag at half mast and five tiny flags at full mast
|Someone diverted a trolley to save five people by killing one important person.
|This is a reference to the {{w|Trolley problem}}, a well-known thought experiment in ethics: An out-of-control trolley is running toward five people who are on the tracks. If you do nothing, these five will be killed. However, you can trigger a switch that will divert the trolley onto a side track, where there is one person who would be killed. Which is the more ethical option?
In this case, the important person was sacrificed, and so is commemorated by the usual custom of lowering the flag to half-mast. The small flags, which represent the non-important people, fly at full mast to indicate those people's continued survival.
|-
|No flag on the pole
|The person who knows where the flag is stored at night died.
|Presumably the flag-keeper died during the night, and nobody living knows where the flag is stored and can't seem to locate it to put it on the flagpole.
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[8 panels in 2 rows, 4 panels per row - each panel shows a flagpole in a different state of flying flag(s) with a caption at the bottom of the panel below the flagpole.]
:[The US flag at half mast.]
:Caption: Someone important died
:[The same flag at three-quarter mast.]
:Caption: Someone died but we're not sure how we feel about them
:[The flag at the base of the mast.]
:Caption: Everyone important died
:[Two identical flags at full mast.]
:Caption: Someone important was successfully cloned
:[Two identical flags at half mast.]
:Caption: An important person died battling their evil clone
:[An upside-down flag at half mast.]
:Caption: Nobody has died for weeks and that seems good but statistically it's very alarming.
:[A normal-sized flag at half mast and five tiny flags at full mast.]
:Caption: Someone diverted a trolley to save five people by killing one important person
:[A flagpole with no flag.]
:Caption: The person who knows where the flag is stored at night died.

{{comic discussion}}

2174: First News Memory

2019-07-13T05:55:57Z

Aquillion: This seems like it requires a citation.

{{comic
| number = 2174
| date = July 10, 2019
| title = First News Memory
| image = first_news_memory.png
| titletext = Psychology researchers say our 'flashbulb' memories of big events can be unreliable, but I clearly remember watching live on CNN as Challenger crashed into and destroyed the Berlin Wall.
}}

==Explanation==

Seven xkcd characters are discussing their "first news memory", their first memory of an event that was reported by the news media. A person's "first news memory" can vary based on their age, the region where they grew up, and how in touch with the news they are.

The following is a breakdown of the memories given by the characters, in typical xkcd fashion:
===Frame One===
Four people are standing in-frame: [[Ponytail]], [[Cueball]], [[Megan]], and [[Hairy]].

[[Ponytail]] gets the ball rolling by posing the question.
[[Cueball]] recalls the election coverage from the year 1988. As Randall lives in the US, this is probably the {{w|1988 United States presidential election|1988 US presidential election}} in which George H. W. Bush defeated Michael Dukakis. [[Megan]] recalls {{w|Berlin_Wall#Fall_of_the_Berlin_Wall|the removal of the Berlin wall}}, which began in 1989.

===Frame Two===
The view pans right to show Megan, Hairy, [[White Hat]], and [[Black Hat]] standing around.

[[Hairy]] recalls the {{w|Space Shuttle Challenger disaster|''Challenger'' explosion}}, which occurred in 1986. Many schools allowed teachers to bring a television to the classroom to show their students the launch, sadly unaware of the impending disaster the children would witness. However, Hairy remembers watching the footage in 1995, so Hairy's teacher was knowingly showing the students recorded footage of a disaster. Presumably, knowingly showing a number of young schoolchildren a traumatizing event led to the teacher's dismissal.

===Frame Three===
The view pans right to show Hairy, White Hat, Black Hat, and [[Hairbun]] standing around.

[[White Hat]] says that his first news memory was about the 2016 election (presumably the {{w|2016 United States presidential election|2016 US presidential election}}), which is only three years prior to the publication date of this comic. As he is in his thirties, this implies that he spent most of his life not paying attention to the news.

===Frame Four===
The view pans right, leaving just White Hat, Black Hat, and Hairbun in-frame.

[[Black Hat]]'s first sentence is normal in the context of the question, albeit making him older than the others. Given only the sentence 'we landed on the moon,' the 'we' is inferred to be 'the United States of America' or 'the human race.' The first {{w|moon landing}} occurred on July 20, 1969.
However, Black Hat goes on to say that 'my second memory is my mom telling us we were moving to Earth instead, to blend in with the humans.' This gives a completely different meaning to his first memory, as it is now implied that Black Hat is a humanoid alien who moved to the Moon, but whose mother then decided to move to Earth. Whether any news coverage resulted is unclear. [[Hairbun]] then remarks that this revelation explains Black Hat's odd (and usually disruptive) behavior. It is unclear whether Black Hat is telling the truth, but knowing Black Hat, and considering the fact that this would be unlikely to receive news coverage, he is likely intentionally trying to unnerve others. Another possibility is that Black Hat was the youthful victim of a prank by his own mother, with Hairbun's comment implying that such an upbringing accounts for the trollish aspects of Black Hat's character in the present day.

===Title Text===
The title text gives [http://theconversation.com/flashbulb-memories-of-dramatic-events-arent-as-accurate-as-believed-64838 the claim] that {{w|Flashbulb memory|flashbulb memories}} of big events can be unreliable. Randall (or another character in the comic, possibly Hairbun) denies this claim, claiming to remember watching on CNN as the ''Challenger'' spacecraft crashed into the Berlin Wall. This is an inaccurate memory of these two events, as the ''Challenger'' explosion occurred in 1986 over the Atlantic Ocean, just east of Cape Canaveral, Florida, and did not occur near the Berlin Wall (in Berlin, Germany). Also, the Berlin Wall was intentionally demolished starting in 1989; it was not damaged by a space shuttle.{{Citation needed}} It is possible that this memory also conflates those events with those of the {{w|September 11 attacks}} since the latter ''did'' involve three winged craft crashing into and destroying landmark structures.

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail, Cueball, Megan, Hairy, White Hat, Black Hat and Hairbun are all at a party, discussing their earliest news memories.]

:[Panel with Ponytail, Cueball, Megan, and Hairy]
:Ponytail: What's your first news memory?
:Cueball: I always like this question! Mine was the 1988 election.
:Megan: Berlin wall for me. You?

:[Frame-less panel with Megan, Hairy, White Hat, and Black Hat]
:Hairy: Watching the ''Challenger'' launch in class. We were so excited; everyone was horrified when it blew up.
:Hairy: It was 1995.
:Hairy: Our teacher got fired soon after.

:[Panel with Hairy, White Hat, Black Hat, and Hairbun]
:White Hat: Mine's the 2016 election.
:Hairbun: ...aren't you in your 30's?
:White Hat: Look, we're not all great about keeping up with the news, OK?

:[Panel with White Hat, Black Hat, and Hairbun]
:Black Hat: My first memory is when we landed on the moon.
:Black Hat: My second memory is my mom telling us we were moving to Earth instead, to blend in with the humans.
:Hairbun: This explains a lot.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]

User:Aquillion

2019-07-13T05:51:58Z

Aquillion:

Yes.

User:Aquillion

2019-07-13T05:51:44Z

Aquillion: Created page with "Aquillion"

Aquillion

Talk:2175: Flag Interpretation

2019-07-13T05:51:36Z

Aquillion:

Can we all just take a moment to appreciate that Randall drew each US flag by hand? He could have just copy-pasted the same one 14 times, but he didn't. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.34.118|172.68.34.118]] 16:27, 12 July 2019 (UTC)

Something about a Dali-esque melting flagpole set at half-mast seems very suggestive to me...

Flying the US flag upside down would be considered a distress signal by many. Should this be in the main description or a "trivia" section? [[User:Cgrimes85|Cgrimes85]] ([[User talk:Cgrimes85|talk]]) 15:51, 12 July 2019 (UTC)
:I had the same thought (before I saw your comment) and put it in the main description, since it seems necessary to understand the joke. --[[User:Aquillion|Aquillion]] ([[User talk:Aquillion|talk]]) 05:51, 13 July 2019 (UTC)

Half mast or half staff? In the US (which appears to be the flag shown in the comic), the popular usage is half-staff, although half-mast is more common elsewhere. [[User:Cgrimes85|Cgrimes85]] ([[User talk:Cgrimes85|talk]]) 15:56, 12 July 2019 (UTC)
: Half-mast should be for naval connotations and half-staff for non-naval connotations, at least in the USA.

: Definitely half-mast in the UK. To the point that someone showing a lot of sock has historically drawn comments of "Who's died?" or "Your cat died?" which is then clarified by explaining that their trousers appear to be at half-mast. [[User:YorkshirePudding|YorkshirePudding]] ([[User talk:YorkshirePudding|talk]]) 21:59, 12 July 2019 (UTC)

The no one dying for a while was done in the TV Show Torchwood: Miracle Day https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torchwood:_Miracle_Day [[Special:Contributions/172.69.160.152|172.69.160.152]] 19:01, 12 July 2019 (UTC)

2175: Flag Interpretation

2019-07-13T05:49:57Z

Aquillion: Details on upside-down flag meanings.

{{comic
| number = 2175
| date = July 12, 2019
| title = Flag Interpretation
| image = flag_interpretation.png
| titletext = When Salvador Dalí died, it took months to get all the flagpoles sufficiently melted.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an IMPORTANT CLONE. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
In many countries including the United States (whose flag is depicted in the comic), it is customary to lower the flag to {{w|half staff}} when important public figures die. In the US, regulations regarding flying the flag at half staff specify the length of time for the flag to be flown at half staff, and are based on the importance of the person who has died. There are no regulations where the flag would be flown at any height other than full height or half staff, and there are no regulations where multiple flags would be flown.

The definition of half-staff, or half-mast, differs between countries and does not necessarily imply flying the flag at half the height of the pole or mast. For example, in the USA the flag is usually flown at half the height of the pole, whereas UK practice is to leave space for an 'invisible flag' above the flown flag, which may mean flying the flag near the top of the pole depending on its height. These differing practices contribute to confusion and ambiguity concerning the flag height, which is exploited in the comic.

Randall, as usual, makes a humorous list of fictional additional traditions.

Flying the US flag {{w|Distress_signal#Inverted_flags|upside down}} is widely considered a distress signal, and would not be intended to indicate an important figure has died. Since on average [https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/ someone dies every few seconds], it would indeed be extremely unlikely that no one would die for weeks in a row. Although not having anyone die seems good on the surface, it would trigger alarm about why this was happening; what mysterious force could possibly cause cessation of all deaths? And will it continue into the future, triggering an overpopulation crisis in short order?

The second-to-last panel is a reference to the {{w|Trolley problem}}, a well-known thought experiment in ethics: An out-of-control trolley is running toward five people who are on the tracks. If you do nothing, these five will be killed. However, you can trigger a switch that will divert the trolley onto a side track, where there is one person who would be killed. Which is the more ethical option?

The title text is a reference to ''{{w|The Persistence of Memory}}'' and other paintings and sculptures by {{w|Salvador Dalí}} which include watches and other objects that are melting.

===Table===
{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Flag Position !! Randall's Interpretation || Explanation
|-
|Flag at half mast
|Someone important died.
|In the U.S., it is custom to lower the flag at half mast when somebody important died.
|-
|Flag at three-quarter mast.
|Someone died but we're not sure how we feel about them.
|Randall seems to interpret a single full-mast flag as meaning "nobody important died". If so, 3/4 mast is a compromise between that and the half mast meaning; another way to interpret it might be to say "someone half-important died".
|-
|Flag at base of the mast.
|Everyone important died.
|Likewise, if the flag is lowered halfway when one important person dies, lowering it twice as far implies that multiple important people have died. No intermediate positions are shown, so we can't be sure exactly how many.
|-
|Two flags at full mast.
|Someone important was successfully cloned.
|Following the "flag for important people" rule, two flags would mean two (cloned) important people
|-
|Two flags at half mast.
|An important person died battling their evil clone.
|The concept of evil clone (or twin) is popular in fiction, in this case, two flags at half mast would mean that both clones died in the battle.
|-
|Flag at half mast and upside-down.
|Nobody has died for weeks and that seems good but statistically it's very alarming.
|The fact that nobody died for weeks is an impressive statistic, since many deaths occur every day, it would have needed a big change in society for this happen. Flying a flag upside-down is [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag_desecration#Flying_a_U.S._flag_upside_down often used as] "a signal of dire distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property".
|-
|One normal-sized flag at half mast and five tiny flags at full mast.
|Someone diverted a trolley to save five people by killing one important person.
|This is a reference to the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trolley_problem trolley problem.]. The small flags are for the non-important people. Since they are not important, their flag is smaller
|-
|No flag on the pole.
|The person who knows where the flag is stored at night died.
|Nobody living knows where the flag is stored, and can't seem to locate it to put it on the flagpole. Presumably the flag-keeper died at night, or the flag could still be flying. Or it may have been stolen.
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[8 panels in 2 rows, 4 panels per row - each panel shows a flagpole in a different state of flying flag(s) with a caption at the bottom of the panel below the flagpole.]
:[The US flag at half mast.]
:Caption: Someone important died
:[The same flag at three-quarter mast.]
:Caption: Someone died but we're not sure how we feel about them
:[The flag at the base of the mast.]
:Caption: Everyone important died
:[Two identical flags at full mast.]
:Caption: Someone important was successfully cloned
:[Two identical flags at half mast.]
:Caption: An important person died battling their evil clone
:[An upside-down flag at half mast.]
:Caption: Nobody has died for weeks and that seems good but statistically it's very alarming.
:[A normal-sized flag at half mast and five tiny flags at full mast.]
:Caption: Someone diverted a trolley to save five people by killing one important person
:[A flagpole with no flag.]
:Caption: The person who knows where the flag is stored at night died.

{{comic discussion}}

2168: Reading in the Original

2019-06-29T23:44:49Z

Aquillion: /* Explanation */ add missing word

{{comic
| number = 2168
| date = June 26, 2019
| title = Reading in the Original
| image = reading_in_the_original.png
| titletext = The articles are much shorter, but I assume that's because this version predates the merger with the Hawaiian text that created the modern Hawaiian-Greek hybrid wiki-pedia.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a HAWAIIAN-GREEK HYBRID. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Many academics and aficionados argue that studying texts in the original language is more valuable than reading translations. The argument is that translations are rarely able to fully capture all of the nuances, linguistic subtleties and intent of the original author, and may even alter the meaning in some way due to the translator's interpretation and word choices.

The drawback to this is that it requires the reader to be sufficiently fluent in whatever language the text is written. Critically, a reader of the original source also needs to understand the cultural and historical context of the original work, something a professional translator might deal with much better. This can even happen when working with archaic texts in the same language, as certain references and phrases may have had a significance which was lost over time.

Cueball's commenting that he read works "in the original Greek" implies a high-level of literary scholarship, as this phrase is associated with scholars studying ancient Greek texts, which form a significant part of the foundational works of Western literature.

The joke in this comic is that Cueball has apparently taken the time to learn Greek in order to read the [https://el.wikipedia.org Greek-language Wikipedia] in that language, believing it to be the "original" one. (An [https://incubator.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wp/grc Ancient Greek Wikipedia test project] also exists, but is not nearly as large as the modern Greek one and not available through the languages box.) Wikipedia has editions in about 300 languages; the 'languages' box that Cueball mentions does link to the corresponding page in other languages when they are available, but such pages are not usually translations of each other, having been written separately. Cueball's dedication to appearing to be a committed scholar is therefore contrasted with the ignorance of not understanding that Greek is not the original language of every text. Megan, recognizing that Wikipedia articles were not originally in Greek, exclaims that "That's not how that works!"

A similar thing happens with dubbed movies or TV series/anime, with people smugly remarking that they instead prefer to watch the original version, instead of the dubbed version.

The movie ''Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country'' has a joke concerning someone speaking of a foreign "original" language of something that actually was originally written in English: Chancellor Gorkon says, "You have not experienced Shakespeare until you've read it in the [https://klingon.fandom.com/wiki/Shakespeare original Klingon]." (In reality, Shakespeare lived in England, and wrote in English, not Klingon.){{Citation needed}}

The title text combines two jokes. First, the reference to pages being "much shorter" is because the English language Wikipedia has the most editors and is the most developed; outside of areas of intense interest to Greeks, most pages would be more complete on the English Wikipedia, which would normally be a sign to Cueball that his interpretation that Greek was the original text is incorrect. Second, the way he explains away this contradiction is an etymology joke, since "Wikipedia" was coined from two parts, "[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/wiki#English wiki]", from Hawaiian, and "[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-pedia pedia]", from Greek. However, words having roots in different languages is common and does not signify any link between the separate languages; for example, while the word "Wikipedia" does have etymological roots in Hawaiian and Greek, it is not true that the site was originally composed of texts written in Hawaiian and Greek.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is addressing Megan. He is holding a hand with a thumb up out toward her. Megan is spreading her arms out as she replies.]
:Cueball: It's in the "Languages" box in the lower left. It took a while to learn, but I find I get so much more out of it by reading it as it was '''''intended'''''.
:Megan: That's not how that works!

:[Caption below the panel:]
:People get mad when I tell them I only read Wikipedia in the original Greek.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]

2168: Reading in the Original

2019-06-29T23:42:18Z

Aquillion: /* Explanation */ Make link part of text.

{{comic
| number = 2168
| date = June 26, 2019
| title = Reading in the Original
| image = reading_in_the_original.png
| titletext = The articles are much shorter, but I assume that's because this version predates the merger with the Hawaiian text that created the modern Hawaiian-Greek hybrid wiki-pedia.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a HAWAIIAN-GREEK HYBRID. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Many academics and aficionados argue that studying texts in the original language is more valuable than reading translations. The argument is that translations are rarely able to fully capture all of the nuances, linguistic subtleties and intent of the original author, and may even alter the meaning in some way due to the translator's interpretation and word choices.

The drawback to this is that it requires the reader to be sufficiently fluent in whatever language the text is written. Critically, a reader of the original source also needs to understand the cultural and historical context of the original work, something a professional translator might deal with much better. This can even happen when working with archaic texts in the same language, as certain references and phrases may have had a significance which was lost over time.

Cueball's commenting that he read works "in the original Greek" implies a high-level of literary scholarship, as this phrase is associated with scholars studying ancient Greek texts, which form a significant part of the foundational works of Western literature.

The joke in this comic is that Cueball has apparently taken the time to learn Greek in order to read the [https://el.wikipedia.org Greek-language Wikipedia] in that language, believing it to be the "original" one. (An [https://incubator.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wp/grc Ancient Greek Wikipedia test project] also exists, but is not nearly as large as the modern Greek one and not available through the languages box.) Wikipedia has editions in about 300 languages; the 'languages' box that Cueball mentions does link to the corresponding page other languages when they are available, but such pages are not usually translations of each other, having been written separately. Cueball's dedication to appearing to be a committed scholar is therefore contrasted with the ignorance of not understanding that Greek is not the original language of every text. Megan, recognizing that Wikipedia articles were not originally in Greek, exclaims that "That's not how that works!"

A similar thing happens with dubbed movies or TV series/anime, with people smugly remarking that they instead prefer to watch the original version, instead of the dubbed version.

The movie ''Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country'' has a joke concerning someone speaking of a foreign "original" language of something that actually was originally written in English: Chancellor Gorkon says, "You have not experienced Shakespeare until you've read it in the [https://klingon.fandom.com/wiki/Shakespeare original Klingon]." (In reality, Shakespeare lived in England, and wrote in English, not Klingon.){{Citation needed}}

The title text combines two jokes. First, the reference to pages being "much shorter" is because the English language Wikipedia has the most editors and is the most developed; outside of areas of intense interest to Greeks, most pages would be more complete on the English Wikipedia, which would normally be a sign to Cueball that his interpretation that Greek was the original text is incorrect. Second, the way he explains away this contradiction is an etymology joke, since "Wikipedia" was coined from two parts, "[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/wiki#English wiki]", from Hawaiian, and "[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-pedia pedia]", from Greek. However, words having roots in different languages is common and does not signify any link between the separate languages; for example, while the word "Wikipedia" does have etymological roots in Hawaiian and Greek, it is not true that the site was originally composed of texts written in Hawaiian and Greek.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is addressing Megan. He is holding a hand with a thumb up out toward her. Megan is spreading her arms out as she replies.]
:Cueball: It's in the "Languages" box in the lower left. It took a while to learn, but I find I get so much more out of it by reading it as it was '''''intended'''''.
:Megan: That's not how that works!

:[Caption below the panel:]
:People get mad when I tell them I only read Wikipedia in the original Greek.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]

2168: Reading in the Original

2019-06-29T23:40:35Z

Aquillion: Minor tweaks, avoid redundancy, etc.

{{comic
| number = 2168
| date = June 26, 2019
| title = Reading in the Original
| image = reading_in_the_original.png
| titletext = The articles are much shorter, but I assume that's because this version predates the merger with the Hawaiian text that created the modern Hawaiian-Greek hybrid wiki-pedia.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a HAWAIIAN-GREEK HYBRID. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Many academics and aficionados argue that studying texts in the original language is more valuable than reading translations. The argument is that translations are rarely able to fully capture all of the nuances, linguistic subtleties and intent of the original author, and may even alter the meaning in some way due to the translator's interpretation and word choices.

The drawback to this is that it requires the reader to be sufficiently fluent in whatever language the text is written. Critically, a reader of the original source also needs to understand the cultural and historical context of the original work, something a professional translator might deal with much better. This can even happen when working with archaic texts in the same language, as certain references and phrases may have had a significance which was lost over time.

Cueball's commenting that he read works "in the original Greek" implies a high-level of literary scholarship, as this phrase is associated with scholars studying ancient Greek texts, which form a significant part of the foundational works of Western literature.

The joke in this comic is that Cueball has apparently taken the time to learn Greek, so that he can read the Greek-language Wikipedia (https://el.wikipedia.org) Wikipedia in that language, believing it to be the "original" one. (An [https://incubator.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wp/grc Ancient Greek Wikipedia test project] also exists, but is not nearly as large as the modern Greek one and not available through the languages box.) Wikipedia has editions in about 300 languages; the 'languages' box that Cueball mentions does link to the corresponding page other languages when they are available, but such pages are not usually translations of each other, having been written separately. Cueball's dedication to appearing to be a committed scholar is therefore contrasted with the ignorance of not understanding that Greek is not the original language of every text. Megan, recognizing that Wikipedia articles were not originally in Greek, exclaims that "That's not how that works!"

A similar thing happens with dubbed movies or TV series/anime, with people smugly remarking that they instead prefer to watch the original version, instead of the dubbed version.

The movie ''Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country'' has a joke concerning someone speaking of a foreign "original" language of something that actually was originally written in English: Chancellor Gorkon says, "You have not experienced Shakespeare until you've read it in the [https://klingon.fandom.com/wiki/Shakespeare original Klingon]." (In reality, Shakespeare lived in England, and wrote in English, not Klingon.){{Citation needed}}

The title text combines two jokes. First, the reference to pages being "much shorter" is because the English language Wikipedia has the most editors and is the most developed; outside of areas of intense interest to Greeks, most pages would be more complete on the English Wikipedia, which would normally be a sign to Cueball that his interpretation that Greek was the original text is incorrect. Second, the way he explains away this contradiction is an etymology joke, since "Wikipedia" was coined from two parts, "[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/wiki#English wiki]", from Hawaiian, and "[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-pedia pedia]", from Greek. However, words having roots in different languages is common and does not signify any link between the separate languages; for example, while the word "Wikipedia" does have etymological roots in Hawaiian and Greek, it is not true that the site was originally composed of texts written in Hawaiian and Greek.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is addressing Megan. He is holding a hand with a thumb up out toward her. Megan is spreading her arms out as she replies.]
:Cueball: It's in the "Languages" box in the lower left. It took a while to learn, but I find I get so much more out of it by reading it as it was '''''intended'''''.
:Megan: That's not how that works!

:[Caption below the panel:]
:People get mad when I tell them I only read Wikipedia in the original Greek.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]

Talk:2168: Reading in the Original

2019-06-29T23:35:33Z

Aquillion:

I removed this line from the explanation: "The New Testament is often studied in the 'original' Greek, despite most of the protagonists actually speaking Aramaic." Reason: While the "protagonists" likely spoke Aramaic, the actual written text was in Koine Greek. The spoken language is a red herring in this case. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.126.118|162.158.126.118]] 14:34, 26 June 2019 (UTC)
:It could be relevant for sections which are basically writing down something said (in Aramaic). -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 23:36, 26 June 2019 (UTC)
::Even if the people being quoted would have been speaking Aramaic, the Aramaic words they would have said may have never been written down, only a translation of it into a form of Greek (presuming the conversation in question ever actually occurred and wasn't invented by a later writer.) However, doing a quick search, I found claimed that 268 verses were originally written in Aramaic (parts of Daniel, Erza, and one verse of Jeremaih, along with a few other scattered words and names). This is out of a total 23,145 Old Testament verses. Most scholars believe the original version of all the New Testament was a form of Greek (though notably somewhat different than what is normally known as "ancient Greek.")--[[Special:Contributions/172.68.38.94|172.68.38.94]] 05:19, 29 June 2019 (UTC)

There's also a [https://la.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vicipaedia:Pagina_prima Latin Wikipedia] and an [https://ang.wikipedia.org/wiki/H%C4%93afodtramet Old English Wikipedia]. [[User:KangaroOS|Kangaro]][[User talk:KangaroOS|OS]] 14:53, 26 June 2019 (UTC)
:There would have been an Ancient Greek Wikipedia too if not for Yaroslav Zolotaryov and Siberian - [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Requests_for_new_languages/Wikipedia_Ancient_Greek_2 the proposal] was effectively accepted, and only a little bit short of fulfillment, when the Siberian debacle had Wikimedia revise their acceptance system in October 2007. Alas, despite several re-proposals, there is no Ancient Greek Wikipedia to this day, and realistically there would probably only be one if someone raises a child as an Ancient Greek native speaker. (This had happened with Coptic.) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.182.148|162.158.182.148]] 15:47, 26 June 2019 (UTC)

Btw there's no Greek Wikipedia page for Xkcd :) [[Special:Contributions/172.68.51.166|172.68.51.166]] 14:58, 26 June 2019 (UTC)
:Well, it would rather be for χκcδ [[Special:Contributions/198.41.230.112|198.41.230.112]] 15:44, 26 June 2019 (UTC)
::Rather ξκcδ/ξκσδ as xi (not chi) is equivalent to 'x'. The lunate sigma is rather uncommon. Of course I think if we're talking about ancient Greek there were no lowercase letters so it'd be ΞΚΣΔ. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.189.175|172.68.189.175]] 16:08, 26 June 2019 (UTC)
:::Am I the only one who read ΞΚΣΔ as being startlingly close (visually) to IKEA?[[Special:Contributions/162.158.126.22|162.158.126.22]] 16:32, 26 June 2019 (UTC)
:::: Nah, first thing I noticed. :) [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 04:27, 28 June 2019 (UTC)
::: Nope. Thought the same thing and suddenly wondered if the xkcd name origin story has finally been proven to be a hoax. Have we all been had?[[User:Iggynelix|Iggynelix]] ([[User talk:Iggynelix|talk]]) 19:31, 26 June 2019 (UTC)

Hello, everyone! I have been consulting this wiki for a lot of time now, but this is the first time I edit. I edited the 'the New Testament of the Bible being the most notable' sentence because the New Testament is hardly the only notable work in Ancient Greek. In fact, while I'm not familiar with the situation in the U.S., in schools in the EU where I've studied or my mother (who went to Catholic school) has studied, texts from the New Testament were not even taught. Part of the reason for this is that the New Testament uses Koine Greek, which is a later variant of what is commonly called "Ancient Greek". I also think it's worth mentioning that Ancient Greek is quite commonly studied in many European countries even by high-school students, not only by dedicated scholars. [[User:AleksanderV|AleksanderV]] ([[User talk:AleksanderV|talk]]) 18:45, 26 June 2019 (UTC)

Made a small correction by removing Socrates from the list of people who wrote in Greek, since Socrates did not in fact write anything! (or, at least, no original works from Socrates survive, even though some of his followers wrote dialogues with Socrates as a character) ~High Falutin Scholar

Man, you guys '''all got the joke wrong'''! The ARTICLE isn't in Greek, it's Wikipedia's MENUS and screen ELEMENTS that are in Greek! The article itself is still in English, but you're reading it in a Greek "environment". I added a paragraph to clear that up, while leaving the good wrong stuff still there, since it's not wrong in the right context. [[User:N0lqu|-boB]] ([[User talk:N0lqu|talk]]) 19:44, 28 June 2019 (UTC)
:No, that seems wrong. In the sidebar is the link to the Wikipedia in Greek, it's even more difficult to find the Greek language settings for the menus and such. Also the reference in the title text to the articles being shorter only makes sense of it's a different language version.--[[Special:Contributions/162.158.93.93|162.158.93.93]] 22:43, 28 June 2019 (UTC)
::Yeah, clicking the option in the lower left does change the language of the articles, not just the menu and screen elements. After all otherwise the title text wouldn't make sense, as it is referencing how the amount of content in Wikipedia is much lower in most languages other than English, especially languages with relatively few speakers (there are much fewer people who speak Greek than English worldwide), resulting in both shorter articles and fewer total articles, so many English articles wouldn't have a Greek version at all. In any case, the paragraph you added should be removed.--[[Special:Contributions/172.68.38.94|172.68.38.94]] 05:19, 29 June 2019 (UTC)
:As others have said, you are incorrect and I've removed your changes. You can try the procedure Cueball recommended yourself - it links you to the actual Greek Wikipedia rather than just changing the interface. Furthermore, the alt-text backs this up, since the joke about articles being shorter only makes sense if Cueball is viewing the actual Greek Wikipedia (articles there are shorter due to it being newer and having fewer editors. Obviously they would be the same length if he was only changing the interface.) The joke is that that should have cued him in to the fact that the Greek language was not the original, but instead he invented another ridiculous explanation for it. --[[User:Aquillion|Aquillion]] ([[User talk:Aquillion|talk]]) 23:35, 29 June 2019 (UTC)

2168: Reading in the Original

2019-06-29T23:32:45Z

Aquillion: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2168
| date = June 26, 2019
| title = Reading in the Original
| image = reading_in_the_original.png
| titletext = The articles are much shorter, but I assume that's because this version predates the merger with the Hawaiian text that created the modern Hawaiian-Greek hybrid wiki-pedia.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a HAWAIIAN-GREEK HYBRID. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Many academics and aficionados argue that studying texts in the original language is more valuable than reading translations. The argument is that translations are rarely able to fully capture all of the nuances, linguistic subtleties and intent of the original author, and may even alter the meaning in some way due to the translator's interpretation and word choices.

The drawback to this is that it requires the reader to be sufficiently fluent in whatever language the text is written. Critically, a reader of the original source also needs to understand the cultural and historical context of the original work, something a professional translator might deal with much better. This can even happen when working with archaic texts in the same language, as certain references and phrases may have had a significance which was lost over time.

Cueball's commenting that he read works "in the original Greek" implies a high-level of literary scholarship, as this phrase is associated with scholars studying ancient Greek texts, which form a significant part of the foundational works of Western literature.

The joke in this comic is that Cueball has apparently taken the time to learn Greek, so that he can read the Greek-language Wikipedia (https://el.wikipedia.org) Wikipedia in that language, believing it to be the "original" one. (An [https://incubator.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wp/grc Ancient Greek Wikipedia test project] also exists, but is not nearly as large as the modern Greek one and not available through the languages box.) Wikipedia has editions in about 300 languages; the 'languages' box that Cueball mentions does link to the corresponding page in another language when it is available, but such pages are not usually translations of each other, having been written separately by speakers of the different languages. Cueball's dedication to appearing to be a committed scholar is therefore contrasted with the ignorance of not understanding that Greek is not the original language of every text. Megan, recognizing that Wikipedia articles were not originally in Greek, exclaims that "That's not how that works!"

A similar thing happens with dubbed movies or TV series/anime, with people smugly remarking that they instead prefer to watch the original version, instead of the dubbed version.

The movie ''Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country'' has a joke concerning someone speaking of a foreign "original" language of something that actually was originally written in English: Chancellor Gorkon says, "You have not experienced Shakespeare until you've read it in the [https://klingon.fandom.com/wiki/Shakespeare original Klingon]." (In reality, Shakespeare lived in England, and wrote in English, not Klingon.){{Citation needed}}

The title text combines two jokes. First, the reference to pages being "much shorter" is because the English language Wikipedia has the most editors and is the most developed; outside of areas of intense interest to Greeks, most pages would be more complete on the English Wikipedia, which would normally be a sign to Cueball that his interpretation that Greek was the original text is incorrect. Second, the way he explains away this contradiction is an etymology joke, since "Wikipedia" was coined from two parts, "[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/wiki#English wiki]", from Hawaiian, and "[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-pedia pedia]", from Greek. However, words having roots in different languages is common and does not signify any link between the separate languages; for example, while the word "Wikipedia" does have etymological roots in Hawaiian and Greek, it is not true that the site was originally composed of texts written in Hawaiian and Greek.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is addressing Megan. He is holding a hand with a thumb up out toward her. Megan is spreading her arms out as she replies.]
:Cueball: It's in the "Languages" box in the lower left. It took a while to learn, but I find I get so much more out of it by reading it as it was '''''intended'''''.
:Megan: That's not how that works!

:[Caption below the panel:]
:People get mad when I tell them I only read Wikipedia in the original Greek.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]

2168: Reading in the Original

2019-06-29T23:32:15Z

Aquillion: /* Explanation */ This explanation is incorrect; the process Cueball describes does take to you the actual Greek-language Wikipedia rather than just translating the interface.

{{comic
| number = 2168
| date = June 26, 2019
| title = Reading in the Original
| image = reading_in_the_original.png
| titletext = The articles are much shorter, but I assume that's because this version predates the merger with the Hawaiian text that created the modern Hawaiian-Greek hybrid wiki-pedia.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a HAWAIIAN-GREEK HYBRID. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Many academics and aficionados argue that studying texts in the original language is more valuable than reading translations. The argument is that translations are rarely able to fully capture all of the nuances, linguistic subtleties and intent of the original author, and may even alter the meaning in some way due to the translator's interpretation and word choices.

The drawback to this is that it requires the reader to be sufficiently fluent in whatever language the text is written. Critically, a reader of the original source also needs to understand the cultural and historical context of the original work, something a professional translator might deal with much better. This can even happen when working with archaic texts in the same language, as certain references and phrases may have had a significance which was lost over time.

Cueball's commenting that he read works "in the original Greek" implies a high-level of literary scholarship, as this phrase is associated with scholars studying ancient Greek texts, which form a significant part of the foundational works of Western literature.

The joke in this comic is that Cueball has apparently taken the time to learn Greek, so that he can read the Greek-language Wikipedia (https://el.wikipedia.org) Wikipedia in that language, believing it to be the "original" one. (An [https://incubator.wikimedia.org/wiki/Wp/grc Ancient Greek Wikipedia test project] also exists, but is not nearly as large as the modern Greek one and not available through the languages box.) Wikipedia has editions in about 300 languages; the 'languages' box that Cueball mentions does link to the corresponding page in another language when it is available, but such pages are not usually translations of each other, having been written separately by speakers of the different languages. Cueball's dedication to appearing to be a committed scholar is therefore contrasted with the ignorance of not understanding that Greek is not the original language of every text. Megan, recognizing that Wikipedia articles were not originally in Greek, exclaims that "That's not how that works!"

A similar thing happens with dubbed movies or TV series/anime, with people smugly remarking that they instead prefer to watch the original version, instead of the dubbed version.

The movie ''Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country'' has a joke concerning someone speaking of a foreign "original" language of something that actually was originally written in English: Chancellor Gorkon says, "You have not experienced Shakespeare until you've read it in the [https://klingon.fandom.com/wiki/Shakespeare original Klingon]." (In reality, Shakespeare lived in England, and wrote in English, not Klingon.){{Citation needed}}

The title text combines two jokes. First, the reference to pages being "much shorter" is because the English language Wikipedia has the most edits and is the most developed; outside of areas of intense interest to Greeks, most pages would be more complete on the English Wikipedia, which would normally be a sign to Cueball that his interpretation that Greek was the original text is incorrect. Second, the way he explains away this contradiction is an etymology joke, since "Wikipedia" was coined from two parts, "[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/wiki#English wiki]", from Hawaiian, and "[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-pedia pedia]", from Greek. However, words having roots in different languages is common and does not signify any link between the separate languages; for example, while the word "Wikipedia" does have etymological roots in Hawaiian and Greek, it is not true that the site was originally composed of texts written in Hawaiian and Greek.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is addressing Megan. He is holding a hand with a thumb up out toward her. Megan is spreading her arms out as she replies.]
:Cueball: It's in the "Languages" box in the lower left. It took a while to learn, but I find I get so much more out of it by reading it as it was '''''intended'''''.
:Megan: That's not how that works!

:[Caption below the panel:]
:People get mad when I tell them I only read Wikipedia in the original Greek.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]

1086: Eyelash Wish Log

2019-01-01T06:06:01Z

Aquillion:

{{comic
| number = 1086
| date = July 25, 2012
| title = Eyelash Wish Log
| image = eyelash wish log.png
| titletext = Ooh, another one. Uh... the ability to alter any coefficients of friction at will during sporting events.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is based on a common {{w|superstition}} that when someone's {{w|eyelash}} falls out, that person can make a wish on it. This comic appears to be a page from the fictitious Wish Bureau in charge of granting said wishes. And of course the wisher is [[Black Hat]] and he has quite a few wishes, most of them based on the previous wish. A common trope in fiction is that wishing for more wishes is prohibited and for many of his wishes Black Hat attempts to circumvent that.

;January 9: That wishing on eyelashes worked
:This wish is pointless. If wishing on eyelashes worked, then this would do absolutely nothing (because it already works) and if it didn't then nothing would happen because wishing on eyelashes wouldn't work.

;January 12: A pony
:This wish functions as a test to see whether or not previous wish worked. It can be assumed that it did, as Black Hat then continued to make additional wishes. Wishing for a pony is a stereotypical wish made by very young girls; since Black Hat is an adult man (with a very dark sense of humor), the contrast is humorous. It could also be a reference to Mr. Krabs wishing for a pony (with saddlebags full of money) on the ''SpongeBob SquarePants'' episode "Christmas Who?".

;January 15: Unlimited wishes
:This appears to have failed, due to the traditional ban on wishing for additional wishes in conventional folklore.

;January 19: Revocation of rules prohibiting unlimited wishes
:An attempt to circumvent the ban in the previous wish by wishing the ban away.

;January 20: A finite but arbitrarily large number of wishes
:Another attempt to circumvent the ban on unlimited wishes by asking for a number of wishes that is limited, but as large as he likes (and there are some very large finite numbers out there, such as {{w|Graham's number}}).

;January 28: The power to dictate the rules governing wishes
:Yet another attempt to circumvent the ban on unlimited wishes.

;February 5: Unlimited eyelashes
:This wish likely caused Black Hat to grow unlimited eyelashes, which could be quite inconvenient and painful. And, yes, one more attempt to circumvent the ban on unlimited wishes.

;February 6: That wish-granting entities be required to interpret wishes in accordance with the intent of the wisher
:This wish is likely a response to the previous day's misguided wish. It's actually quite a common problem that people making wishes leave them open for misinterpretation.

;February 8: That wish-granting entities be incapable of impatience
:An attempt to prevent whatever being is powerful enough to grant wishes from becoming angry with Black Hat while he tries to manipulate the system.

;February 12 #1: Unlimited breadsticks
:The first wish of this day seems to be a reference to the unlimited {{w|breadsticks}} offered at {{w|Olive Garden}}.

;February 12 #2: Veto power over others' wishes
:A power that could be interesting to have. It also very much fits with Black Hat's character.

;February 19: Veto power over others' wishes and all {{w|United States Congress|congressional}} legislation
:An improvement of the previous wish. This would be very interesting to have indeed, especially if you are Black Hat, because you could veto any federal law, a power normally entrusted only to the {{w|President of the United States}}.

;February 23: The power to override any veto
:This wish would allow Black Hat to override vetoes which in addition to the previous wish would effectively make him control the US legislature and, to some extent, also all other governing bodies. (Notably the {{w|United Nations|UN}}, where the veto powers wielded by the five {{w|permanent members of the Security Council}} cannot be overridden and can have large impacts on global politics.) Note that it will not allow him to turn laws off (veto them) and on again (override the veto) at any moment, as once a bill becomes law it cannot be vetoed. Without the ability to propose legislation, Black Hat's powers are still limited. The wish may also refer back to the February 19 wish: by granting himself veto power over wishes, Black Hat just made vetoes more powerful than wishes; now he is trying to control other people's vetoes as well, lest they one-up him.

;February 27: The power to see where any {{w|URL shortener|shortened URL}} goes without clicking
:This wish relates to a common practice especially in tweets or other short length media where full-length meaningful web addresses such as <tt>www.somewhere.com/articles/specificdate/title-of-the-page.html</tt> would not be feasible. So a more compressed but nonsensical string of seemingly random characters is used which links to a link of the full text address. This creates some problems for people who are security or privacy conscious and prefer to be informed beforehand where they will be traveling on the Internet. The use of shortened URLs is also central to many types of {{w|Rickrolling|trolls or practical jokes}} (see [https://bit.ly/IqT6zt <tt>bit.ly/IqT6zt</tt>] for an example), by directing someone to a different location than the link would initially suggest. Thus Black Hat might be wishing to be able to tell where the links go for the purpose of avoiding this sort of trolling.

;February 29: The power to control the direction news anchors are looking while they talk
:This wish likely appeals to Black Hat's mischievous side, allowing him to cause news anchors to look at the wrong camera during live broadcast. Repeatedly switching to the incorrect camera would cause havoc in the studio. Additionally, Black Hat may also attempt to get a news anchor fired by having them stare where they should not such as a female anchor's breasts.

;March 7: The power to introduce arbitrary error into Nate Silver's predictions
:A reference to {{w|Nate Silver}}, who is a former writer for {{w|Baseball Prospectus}} working on predicting baseball players' stats and now writes for ''{{w|Five Thirty Eight}}'' in which he predicts the outcome of elections based on polling data. This would grant Black Hat the power to influence the result of elections. This would tighten the Black Hat's control of the US even more.

;March 15: A house of stairs
:This wish refers to the {{w|lithograph}} ''{{w|House of Stairs}}'' by {{w|M. C. Escher}}, or perhaps another of his lithographs, ''{{w|Relativity (M. C. Escher)|Relativity}}''.

;March 23: A universe which is a replica of this one sans rules against meta-wishes
:Another attempt to circumvent the rules against wishing for more wishes by creating a {{w|parallel universe}} without such rules.

;March 29: Free transportation to and from that universe
:While the previous wish may have worked, Black Hat notes a problem with it: he is still in our universe with no way to get to his new one.

;April 2: A clear explanation of how wish rules are structured and enforced
:It appears that one or both of the previous two wishes failed, so Black Hat tries to discover exactly what is offending the Bureau. Having clear rules and how they work helps anyone finding loopholes in them.

;April 7: The power to banish people into the TV show they are talking about
:Black hat is obviously fed up of hearing people talking about certain TV shows, and would like to be able to banish them into the show, thus prevent him having to listen to those people. Depending on the show in question, it could be quite horrifying for the person getting banished.

;April 8: Zero wishes
:An attempt to hack the wish-granting system by using a quite common vulnerability in input validation: an unexpected value. There may be multiple vectors this can work:
:* in many computer systems, 0 is reserved for unlimited or undefined
:* the number may be used as a divisor in some equation and this will make the system {{w|divide by zero}} and probably crash
:* there also may be an assertion like "<tt>number of wishes granted == 1</tt>" which would fail, again crashing the system
:* similarly, if viewed as a computer system, it is possible that the wish decrement (subtracting 1 from the number of remaining wishes) is performed ''after'' the wish is granted, thus resulting in either −1 wishes (another common placeholder for unlimited numbers), or an {{w|integer overflow}} if the wish counter is stored as an unsigned integer; the overflow can result in an exception, otherwise −1 becomes represented as one less than the size of the integer – basically, an extremely large number.
:However it seems the eyelash wish-granting system does proper input validation on zero because it did not crash or grant unlimited wishes
:This wish may also be a reversal of the January 9 wish. Black Hat is attempting to win his game by introducing a {{w|logical contradiction}}: if he gets "zero wishes", this is one wish granted; however, if it is not granted, then, de facto, he will have been granted zero wishes. This is a common technique used in logical proofs to show that an earlier assumption does not hold (in this case, the possibility of eyelash wishing to work).

;April 15: Veto power over clocks
:Midnight, April 15 is the deadline for filing income tax returns in the United States.
:It may also be that Black Hat, now in control of all human legislation, is attempting to extend this to further control also rules of nature – in this case: time. The strange wording is likely to be due to Black Hat having consulted with the wish-hacking manual he acquired April 2.

;April 22: A Pokéball that works on strangers' pets
:A reference to the {{w|Pokémon}} series of video games. A Pokéball can be thrown at a Pokémon (or in this case, a pet that the Pokéball thrower finds either annoying or cute) to capture it and achieve ownership of it. Unless cheats are used, Pokéballs cannot be used on Pokémon owned by other people in the Pokémon games. Many players wish to obtain the often high-level Pokémon of NPCs, and Black Hat may also be interested in pranking other players by stealing their powerful Pokémon. This was later revealed to be one of Randall's wishes in the title text of [[1705: Pokémon Go]].

The title text is yet another mischievous wish. The coefficients of friction, though usually not noticed as they are unchanging, are all-important when performing physical activities — imagine trying to play hockey on a field of sandpaper or sprinting over a sheet of ice. In addition to the difficulty going where you want or getting any balls that might be in play where you want them to go in a changing friction environment, angular momentum would also be very difficult to control.

Note that when Black Hat makes meta-wishes no follow-up wishes are logged. Since the meta-wishes failed, no valid eyelash wish condition existed and the illegal test wishes were not logged in the eyelash wish log.

==Transcript==
:{|
! align="left" colspan="2" |Eyelash Wish Log
|-style="color: gray;"
|
|align="right"|Wish bureau ID#:
|-
|
|align="right"|21118378
|-style="color: gray;"
|
|align="right"|Date range:
|-
|align="right"|Jan-Apr 2012
|-
|}
:[a picture of Black Hat is above text saying Wisher]
:{|
!align="left" width="50px"|Date
!align="left"|Wish
|-
|Jan 09
|That wishing on eyelashes worked
|-
|Jan 12
|A pony
|-
|Jan 15
|Unlimited wishes
|-
|Jan 19
|Revocation of rules prohibiting unlimited wishes
|-
|Jan 20
|A finite but arbitrarily large number of wishes
|-
|Jan 28
|The power to dictate the rules governing wishes
|-
|Feb 05
|Unlimited eyelashes
|-
|Feb 06
|That wish-granting entities be required to interpret wishes in accordance with the intent of the wisher
|-
|Feb 08
|That wish-granting entities be incapable of impatience
|-
|Feb 12
|Unlimited breadsticks
|-
|Feb 12
|Veto power over others' wishes
|-
|Feb 19
|Veto power over others' wishes and all congressional legislation
|-
|Feb 23
|The power to override any veto
|-
|Feb 27
|The power to see where any shortened URL goes without clicking
|-
|Feb 29
|The power to control the direction news anchors are looking while they talk
|-
|Mar 07
|The power to introduce arbitrary error into Nate Silver's predictions
|-
|Mar 15
|A house of stairs
|-
|Mar 23
|A universe which is a replica of this one sans rules against meta-wishes
|-
|Mar 29
|Free transportation to and from that universe
|-
|Apr 02
|A clear explanation of how wish rules are structured and enforced
|-
|Apr 07
|The power to banish people into the TV show they're talking about
|-
|Apr 08
|Zero wishes
|-
|Apr 15
|Veto power over clocks
|-
|Apr 22
|A Pokéball that works on strangers' pets
|}

{{Comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Nate Silver]]
[[Category:Pokémon]]
[[Category:Time]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:News anchor]]
[[Category:Video games]]

1948: Campaign Fundraising Emails

2018-07-09T23:31:56Z

Aquillion:

{{comic
| number = 1948
| date = January 29, 2018
| title = Campaign Fundraising Emails
| image = campaign_fundraising_emails.png
| titletext = The establishment doesn't take us seriously. You know who else they didn't take seriously? Hitler. I'll be like him, but a GOOD guy instead of…
}}

==Explanation==

Many politicians and organizations in the United States have taken to using email to conduct aggressive fundraising drives seeking campaign contributions. Signing a petition or expressing interest in a cause can lead to being added to a myriad of mailing lists for similar groups, all looking for support. This comic shows a caricature of the kind of inbox that can result from this. The emails get more and more absurd as the list goes on. For example, the last one combines a request for campaign contributions with the infamous 'Nigerian prince' {{w|advance-fee scam}} phishing scheme.

==The emails==

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! E-mail Body !! Explanation
|-
|'''Donate now.''' It's crunch time, and we're low on cash. If you chip in just $5 by midnight, we…
|This is the classic formula for campaign fundraising emails, and may be a real example. It is always "crunch time" during a campaign (at least between filing for candidacy and election day), and campaigns are always "low" on cash relative to the unlimited funding they would prefer. The ends of financial reporting periods, often at midnight, are conflated with "deadlines" of significant consequence. Further, the donation requested is less about the actual money - even if $5 each from several thousand voters can add up - but to get a donor to have their money placed on a candidate, making it more likely that donor will vote for the candidate (via encouraging {{w|Sunk cost#Loss_aversion_and_the_sunk_cost_fallacy|the "sunk cost" fallacy}}), or to allow the targeting of future messages based on how engaged the recipient is with the campaign.
|-
|'''Donate $35.57 now!''' Our data team has determined that we should ask you for $35.57 to optimize the…
|A key factor in the success of a fundraising campaign is the amount of the donation that is asked for or suggested. Even if the donor is ultimately free to donate whatever amount they want, the initial 'ask' can have a significant effect on the amount donated, due to the psychological effect of {{w|anchoring}}. Increasing the suggested amount may increase the amount of the average donation, but it may also put some people off donating altogether. Finding the sweetspot allows the fundraiser to maximise the income generated.

Most modern bulk mailing platforms allow users send different versions of their emails to recipients at random. Using analytics packages, they can then determine which version of their messages is most effective at eliciting the desired result (such as making a purchase, reading a story, etc.) from recipients, or even from particular segments, and to refine future emails accordingly. Use of these techniques has resulted in fundraisers moving away from traditional 'round' numbers ($10, $25, etc.) to ask for more unusual looking amounts which increase the average amount donated.

However, it would be unusual to use quite such a precise amount, as it would tend to betray the fact that it has been calculated simply to manipulate the recipient, which may appear cynical and put many off donating altogether. The email then compounds this by stating outright that this is what they have done.
|-
|'''Help.''' Our campaign made some mistakes and we need a lot of money ASAP. Any kind, but cash is…
|This email is honest about the campaign's incompetence, but is not likely to get much sympathy, except perhaps from those already very sympathetic to the candidate. Any campaign reduced to this level has probably already lost. The email appears to be suggesting that they would much prefer that donors send cash, presumably in the mail. This would raise several red flags: it might suggest that the campaign's finances are in such disarray that it cannot process checks, credit cards, etc. in a timely manner, or it might be that they want to keep donations off the books so that they can be diverted elsewhere, or to circumvent electoral spending restrictions. Even if no dishonesty is intended, it would increase the chances that cash could be stolen or otherwise misused more readily than other forms of payment.
|-
|'''Washington is broken.''' When I win, I'll look those other senators in the eye and tell them: "Jobs." Then I…
|This email takes a populist approach of repeating various {{w|Dog-whistle_politics|dog-whistle}} phrases to imply that they will stand up for the interests of the common people against a system that is rigged against them, without giving any meaningful indication of what they intend to achieve. Not only is the mere statement of "jobs", without any kind of explanation of what problems they believe there are, or what they suggest doing about it, entirely unhelpful, they also seem to suggest that, despite them being elected, it would be everybody else's responsibility to solve it.
|-
|'''Hopeless.''' It's bad. Really bad. If you don't chip in now, the darkness spreading across the land will…
|This is a favorite of moral campaigns, on both sides of a debate. Grand statements about evil and corruption taking over the country if the campaign does not get enough support are common, but they are extremely biased and dramatic. The wording in this case is also somewhat archaic and melodramatic, making it sound like something from a fantasy novel.
|-
|As the first woman to fly a fighter jet through our state's formerly all-male university, I learned…
|Candidates often like to portray themselves as trailblazers for a particular community, who have persevered and achieved despite the odds. Normally, one would make a virtue of being the first ''from'' a university to do something, rather than the first to achieve something involving the university itself. Flying a plane through a university is risky, at the very least, and depending on the definition of "through", could imply destruction of buildings or the plane itself, which might paint the candidate in an irresponsible light. This may also refer to the viral 2017 Congressional campaign ad of {{w|Amy McGrath}}, the first female Marine to fly an {{w|McDonnell Douglas F/A-18 Hornet|F-18}} in combat.
|-
|'''We're broke.''' No paid staff. No ads. And the cafe has told us to stop using their WiFi to send fundraising…
| This campaign tactic attempts to appeal to the reader's sympathy by describing financial struggles and poverty, but these tactics may instead make the movement look pathetic and poorly-organized, especially because the group is apparently so poor, they can't afford premises of their own to run the campaign from, or an internet connection to continue sending emails to ask for funding.
|-
|When Amy decided to run for Congress, I was like "Huh?" but I checked Wikipedia, and apparently it's a branch of…
|The first few words here might suggest the writer is about to explain how, having initially been sceptical, Amy's inspirational message and / or character has won them over to her campaign. This kind of message is used to make a candidate seem relatable and credible. In fact, though, they just didn't know what she was talking about, as they didn't know what Congress was. Since they clearly don't know much about the subject, this would fail to lend the weight it is aiming to.

Furthermore, while a familiar tone could also be part of a communication strategy to make the message seem relatable, this takes it to an extreme that would probably come across as unprofessional and lacking in seriousness.
|-
|'''Are you familiar''' with the Dutch painter Hieronymous Bosch? His work illustrates my opponent's plan for…
|The works of {{w|Hieronymus Bosch}} are famous for depictions of {{w|Hell}} and {{w|Limbo}} as brutal places of highly imaginative torments, which the sender implies would be similar to the country under their opponent's plan. This mocks the tendency of political campaigns to present an exaggerated view of how bad things would be if their political rivals were elected.
|-
|Being a single mom running a small business while going to law school while being deployed to Iraq taught me…
|Each of these are typical credentials that a candidate might cite in order to imply that they are hardworking and committed. However, it is extremely unlikely that one person would take on all of these responsibilities at the same time, and attempting to do so might suggest that they lack focus and aren't really that committed to any one thing.
|-
|'''I will lead the fight''' against the big banks, special interests, the Earth's climate, and our children. I…
|This is another populist message listing off hot button topics. However, after starting out with some typical promises to fight fairly commonly despised things, it then becomes more controversial. It promises to fight the climate, with the peculiar implication that damaging the climate is the goal, and 'our children', which most voters would think would need protecting. This may be suggesting that politicians using these kind of messages are likely to be hiding bad intentions behind their attractive sounding slogans. The fight "against our children" may be a reference to a popular {{w|Bushism}}.
|-
|'''Wow.''' Have you seen this video of the squirrel obstacle course? Incredible! Anyway, I'm running because I…
|A typical form of {{w|clickbait}}. (Don't read another table entry until you've followed that link! Reference #10 will shock you.)
|-
|'''Outrageous.''' Granted, this was a few years ago, but did you hear what President Ford said about…
|When a politician makes an offensive comment, it's common for the politician's opponents to send out fundraising emails pointing out the politician's offensiveness as a way of generating donations to the fight against them. Political strategists will often keep dossiers of such remarks to be used when needed in campaigning season. More recently, there has been a trend for trawling opponents' social media accounts for controversial comments they may have made several years previously, or even as a youth. Here, the sender's reaction and e-mail fundraising effort appears to be unusually delayed, as it refers to an alleged comment by {{w|Gerald Ford}}, whose term as President of the United States ended in 1977 and who died in 2006.
|-
|'''Whoops.''' Due to a typo, we spent months running attack ads against Tom Hanks. Now, we need to make up for…
|The email apologises for running months of attack ads against American actor {{w|Tom Hanks}}. Hanks is generally a popular and uncontroversial figure with [http://archive.boston.com/ae/celebrity/articles/2008/01/06/nice_guy_tom_hanks/ a reputation] for being [https://www.ranker.com/list/tom-hanks-was-the-best/lisa-waugh nice and likable in person], making him an unusual target for attack ads. This implies that the sender does not even know who their opponent is, and has mistakenly targeted the wrong person, demonstrating some significant ignorance and incompetence.
|-
|'''They say we can't win—'''that we're "underdogs" with "no money" who "lost the election last week." But they don't…
|In multi-candidacy electoral races, campaigns will often suggest that a rival 'can't win here', sometimes prefaced with an appeal to authority, such as 'Polls show...'. The hope is that some supporters of the candidate being attacked may be persuaded to switch their vote to the candidate whose campaign it is, in an effort to prevent a third, more disliked, candidate from being elected. It would seem counterproductive to sabotage one's own campaign in this way.

This may refer to {{w|Roy Moore#U.S. Senate special election campaign|Roy Moore's attempts}} to overturn his loss in the December 2017 election for one of Alabama's US Senate seats, which came about a month before this comic and made national headlines. After the initial election count had him losing, he demanded a recount. That initial count said he had lost by a large enough margin that Alabama law required him to pay up front for a recount, and his campaign did not have enough funds available.
|-
|'''Our campaign's only chance''' is to seduce Jennifer ActBlue, heir to the ActBlue fortune. For that, we need a fancy…
|This e-mail alludes to [https://secure.actblue.com/ ActBlue], a political action committee that provides technology to help Democrat and progressive organizations to campaign and collect donations online. In reality, there is no ActBlue family, nor any "Jennifer ActBlue" who is the heir to its fortune; the name ActBlue is a portmanteau from the words "action", in a political sense, and the color "blue", which is {{w|Red states and blue states|closely associated}} with the Democratic Party in the USA.
|-
|'''Doom.''' Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed, like rain on…
|This is an excerpt from {{w|J. R. R. Tolkien|Tolkien's}} poem ''[http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Lament_for_the_Rohirrim Lament of the Rohirrim,]'' appearing in ''{{w|The Two Towers}}'': 
Where now the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? 
Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing? 
Where is the hand on the harpstring, and the red fire glowing? 
Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing? 
They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow; 
The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow. 
Who shall gather the smoke of the dead wood burning, 
Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning?
|-
|'''Warmest greetings.''' I am the crown prince of Nigeria. I am running for Congress because I believe that…
|The opening line is designed to sound like spam for an {{W | Advance-fee scam}}. These scams typically involve impersonating someone rich, often a Nigerian prince, who claims to be in trouble and promises to share a large sum of money if the victim helps him by sending a small fee in advance. However, the second sentence of this email switches to sounding like a political fundraising email instead of an outright scam. This is either to establish a degrading comparison between flagrant scams and fundraising emails, or just to create a bait-and-switch joke.
|-
|The establishment doesn't take us seriously. You know who else they didn't take seriously? Hitler. I'll be like him, but a GOOD guy instead of… (title text)
|A candidate who compares himself to {{w|Hitler}}, even when promising to be GOOD instead, will probably not get many votes. The title text does however conform to {{w|Godwin's law}}.
|}

==Transcript==
:[An e-mail inbox window is displayed. On each line appears an illegible e-mail address and a checkbox.]
:'''Donate now.''' It's crunch time, and we're low on cash. If you chip in just $5 by midnight, we…
:'''Donate $35.57 now!''' Our data team has determined that we should ask you for $35.57 to optimize the…
:'''Help.''' Our campaign made some mistakes and we need a '''lot''' of money ASAP. Any kind, but cash is…
:'''Washington is broken.''' When I win, I'll look those other senators in the eye and tell them: "Jobs." Then I…
:'''Hopeless.''' It's bad. Really bad. If you don't chip in now, the darkness spreading across the land will…
:As the first woman to fly a fighter jet through our state's formerly all-male university, I learned… 
:'''We're broke.''' No paid staff. No ads. And the cafe has told us to stop using their wifi to send fundraising…
:When Amy decided to run for Congress, I was like "Huh?" but I checked Wikipedia, and apparently it's a branch of…
:'''Are you familiar''' with the Dutch painter Hieronymous Bosch? His work illustrates my opponent's plan for…
:Being a single mom running a small business while going to law school while being deployed to Iraq taught me…
:'''I will lead the fight''' against the big banks, special interests, the Earth's climate, and our children. I…
:'''Wow.''' Have you seen this video of the squirrel obstacle course? Incredible! Anyway, I'm running because I…
:'''Outrageous.''' Granted, this was a few years ago, but did you hear what President Ford said about…
:'''Whoops.''' Due to a typo, we spent months running attack ads against Tom Hanks. Now, we need to make up for…
:'''They say we can't win—'''that we're "underdogs" with "no money" who "lost the election last week." But they don't…
:'''Our campaign's only chance''' is to seduce Jennifer ActBlue, heir to the ActBlue fortune. For that, we need a fancy…
:'''Doom.''' Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed, like rain on…
:'''Warmest greetings.''' I am the crown prince of Nigeria. I am running for Congress because I believe that…

{{comic discussion}}

2003: Presidential Succession

2018-06-09T05:50:11Z

Aquillion: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2003
| date = June 6, 2018
| title = Presidential Succession
| image = presidential_succession.png
| titletext = Ties are broken by whoever was closest to the surface of Europa when they were born.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DESIGNATED SURVIVOR. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The {{w|United States presidential line of succession}} is the order of people who serve as president if the current incumbent president is incapacitated, dies, resigns, or is removed from office.

The {{w|Presidential_Succession_Act#Presidential_Succession_Act_of_1947|Presidential Succession Act of 1947}} was an act by the U.S. Congress that revised the presidential order of succession to its current order. This Act, though never challenged in the courts, may not be constitutional for two reasons. First, it is unclear whether members of Congress can be designated in the line of succession. Secondly, the Act allows for a cabinet officer to be "replaced" as acting President by a new Speaker of the House or a new President Pro Tempore of the Senate.

An additional concern regarding the Act is that after the President Pro Tempore of the Senate, the line of succession list the members of the Cabinet in the order that their department was established with the oldest departments first, irrespective of the Secretary's personal fitness or appropriateness of the office. The Department of Homeland Security is in charge of the security and protection of the United States and its citizens and would probably already be privy to sensitive intelligence and briefings related to national security, but because it is the latest of the Departments to have been established (in 2003), the Secretary of Homeland Security is all the way at the bottom of the current Presidential line of succession at 18th, behind other Secretaries such as that of Agriculture (9th) and Education (16th).

Another practical concern is that, by including the Speaker of the House and the President Pro Tempore of the Senate immediately after the Vice President, there is a serious risk that the simultaneous death of the President and Vice President could cause the Presidency to change to the opposing party, which (in the current American political climate) could lead to serious political instability at the precise moment when the country is facing a national crisis, and could even encourage assassinations.

The full text of the Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission can be found here: <https://www.brookings.edu/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/06_continuity_of_government.pdf>. A short, readable summary, including the report's recommended new line of succession, is here: <https://www.brookings.edu/research/the-continuity-of-the-presidency-the-second-report-of-the-continuity-of-government-commission/>. The first 6 members of the commission's list are included in the current line of succession, after which they specificy that 5 new people should be appointed specifically for the purpose of succeeding the presidency if needed. Randall's list begins with these 11 people (stuffing all 5 of the new appointees into #7); afterwards, his list continues with more politicians, actors who have played Presidents, athletes, and others.

Randall's list omits the Speaker of the House and the President Pro Tempore of the Senate, as well as many other cabinet positions. He is probably simply following the commission's report in this. But perhaps he does not find those people qualified to become President of the United States, or is concerned about the constitutionality of lawmakers becoming President. However, he does not seem to be concerned about constitutionality, because he included the entire line of succession to the British throne, most of whom do not meet the requirement to be a natural-born citizen of the United States.{{Citation needed}} {{w|https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Article_Two_of_the_United_States_Constitution#Clause_5:_Qualifications_for_office|Article Two of the US Constitution}} establishes that the President must be a "{{w|Natural-born-citizen clause|natural-born}}" US citizen at least 35 years of age and had lived in the US for the last 14 years.

Randall's list includes several other people who also might not be eligible to become President either because they are not natural-born U.S. citizens (e.g., as of the time of the comic's publication, {{w|Serena Williams}} had withdrawn from her last match in the {{w|French Open}} to {{w|Maria Sharapova}}, who is Russian) or they are under 35 years of age ({{w|Russell Westbrook}}, the reigning NBA Most Valuable Player at the time of the comic's publication, was only 29 years old). These would mainly be athletes due to the relatively global reach of the four major professional sports leagues in North America and the fact that 35 is quite old for a professional athlete, let alone one who is good enough to win the league MVP. Presumably, those who wouldn't qualify for the office of President would be skipped over like in real life -- at the comic's publication, {{w|Elaine Chao}} was the Secretary of Transportation and would normally be 14th in line, but because she is a naturalized citizen of the US (she was born in Taiwan) she would not qualify for the office if the line came to her.

This is another comic in the continuing line of comics about American politics, especially after the election of Donald Trump as President in 2016.

==Order of succession==
{| class="wikitable sortable"
!#
!Randall's order
!Current order by the 1947 Act
!Notes
|-
|1
|President
|President
|Not generally considered part of the line of succession, as incumbents cannot "succeed" to their own post. (This should really be item 0 on the list.)
|-
|2
|Vice president
|Vice president
|No change
|-
|3
|Secretary of State
|Speaker of the House of Representatives
|Moved up from 5th position. This is likely a serious suggestion. Existing rules of succession hand Executive power to the leaders of the Legislative branch if the President and Vice-President are both killed or removed from power. This is troubling for a number of reasons. One is that the Executive and Legislative branches are supposed to act as independent checks on one another's power, and so are supposed to be kept separate. Another issue is that the Executive and Legislative branches are frequently controlled by political rivals from different political parties. In such a case, assassins could effectively reverse the results of Presidential elections if they managed to kill the President and Vice-President in a short period of time (which is used as part of the twist ending in {{w|White House Down}}). Additionally, leaders of the House and Senate aren't as deeply connected to the military and diplomatic missions of the country, and so would have a hard time maintaining continuity, particularly if an attack or disaster killed multiple national leaders at once. These problems could all be addressed by keeping the initial Line of Succession confined to the Executive branch of government.
|-
|4
|Secretary of Defense
|President pro tempore of the Senate
|Moved up from 7th position
|-
|5
|Secretary of Homeland Security
|Secretary of State
|Moved up from 19th position, possibly to highlight the Attorney General's place in the current order
|-
|6
|Attorney General
|Secretary of the Treasury
|Moved up from 8th position
|-
|7
|Five people who do not live in Washington DC, nominated at the start of the President's term and confirmed by the Senate
|Secretary of Defense
|{{w|Washington, D.C.}} is the capital of the United States, and is where the {{w|White House}}, the President's residence, is located. Presumably this provision covers the case where much of the government, including positions 1–6 here, are killed by a natural disaster or attack in Washington, D.C.

This suggestion establishes no qualifications for these people, but the fact that they'd need to be confirmed by the Senate suggests that they would be chosen to be competent for the role. It is also unclear if an order is determined among these five or if they take up a joint presidency. This suggestion is taken from the Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission as a potential mechanism to ensure members of succession are not in Washington DC during a catastrophic attack.
|-
|8
|{{w|Tom Hanks}}
|Attorney General
|Academy Award-winning American actor. This is the first unambiguously unserious suggestion.{{Citation needed}} Tom Hanks is very popular and considered exceptionally likeable by many Americans, but has never served in public office or displayed any particular affinity for politics. He has also never played a president, though he has received a {{w|Presidential Medal of Freedom}}, and appeared in a {{w|Last Week Tonight with John Oliver}} [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyPRssh2rk0 skit], where he rallies five (wax) presidents to action. The implication is that Mr. Hanks would be easily accepted as a leader, based solely on his personal charm.
|-
|9
|State Governors, in descending order of state population at last census
|Secretary of the Interior
|Also taken from Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission. At the time of publication, the last {{w|United States Census}} was the 2010 Census. As California is the most populous state, Gov {{w|Jerry Brown}} would be first in line.

See also the {{w|2010_United_States_Census#State_rankings|state population rankings}} and the {{w|list of current United States governors}}. As worded, this criterion would exclude territorial governors (and the Mayor of Washington, D.C.).
|-
|10
|Anyone who won an Oscar for playing a governor
|Secretary of Agriculture
|Oscars, or {{w|Academy Awards}}, are annual film awards awarded by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. At the time of publication, the only Oscar awarded for playing a governor was {{w|Broderick Crawford}}'s 1949 Best Actor award for the fictional Willie Stark in ''{{w|All the King's Men (1949 film)|All the King's Men}}'' (a character based on {{w|Huey Long}}). However, Crawford died in 1986, so would be unable to serve as President.

May be a reference to the {{w|Political career of Arnold Schwarzenegger}}: a highly-lauded actor who became governor of California, but did not win an Oscar or play a governor before being elected. (As a naturalized citizen, he is also ineligible for the Presidency.)
|-
|11
|Anyone who won a Governor's award for playing someone named Oscar
|Secretary of Commerce
|The {{w|Governors Awards}} are an annual award ceremony hosted by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to present lifetime achievement awards within the film industry. As this award is a lifetime achievement award, it does not seem possible that an actor could win this award for simply playing someone named Oscar. Notwithstanding the nature of the award, at the time of publication, no recipient of a Governors Award has played a character named Oscar.

Obviously, the joke is that changing the order of the words from the previous proposal produces something that could actually exist.
|-
|12
|{{w|Kate McKinnon}}, if available
|Secretary of Labor
|Comedic actress famous for being a cast member on {{w|Saturday Night Live}}. She is known for her character work and celebrity impressions. She has recently done impersonations of members of the Trump administration including Spokeswoman {{w|Kellyanne Conway}} and Attorney General {{w|Jeff Sessions}}. She also played {{w|Hillary Clinton}} during the 2016 campaign and presumably would have played her when she was President had she won; but since Clinton lost, McKinnon has not actually played a President.
|-
|13
|Billboard Year-End Hot 100 Singles artists #1 through #10 (for groups, whoever is credited first in name, liner notes, etc)
|Secretary of Health and Human Services
|The {{w|Billboard Hot 100}} is the music industry standard record chart in the United States for singles, published weekly by Billboard magazine. The weekly data is aggregated into a cumulative {{w|Billboard Year-End}} (based on a "year" that ends the third week of November, in order to meet December publication deadlines). At the time of publication, the most recent such list was the {{w|Billboard Year-End Hot 100 singles of 2017}}.

Based on that list, the artists considered for the presidential succession would be: {{w|Ed Sheeran}}, {{w|Luis Fonsi}}, {{w|Bruno Mars}}, {{w|Kendrick Lamar}}, Alex Pall (of {{w|The Chainsmokers}}), {{w|Quavo|Quavoius Keyate Marshall}} (of {{w|Migos}}), {{w|Sam Hunt}}, {{w|Dan Reynolds}} (of {{w|Imagine Dragons}}), and {{w|Post Malone}}. There are only nine names instead of ten because The Chainsmokers had two of the top 10 singles in 2017. Of these, only Luis Fonsi (40 years old, born in Puerto Rico) is legally eligible for the office; Sheeran is from the UK, and the other seven are too young.
|-
|14
|The top 5 US astronauts in descending order of total spaceflight time
|Secretary of Housing and Urban Development
|Astronauts are highly respected and rigorously selected, but most have little involvement in politics. According to [https://www.nasa.gov/feature/nasa-station-astronaut-record-holders NASA], the top 5 US astronauts by cumulative space time are: {{w|Peggy Whitson}}, {{w|Jeffrey Williams (astronaut)|Jeff Williams}}, {{W|Scott Kelly (astronaut)|Scott Kelly}}, {{w|Mike Fincke}}, and {{w|Mike Foale}}. However, it isn't clear whether Foale would qualify as a natural-born citizen as he was born in the UK and his father is British but his mother is American.
|-
|15
|{{w|Serena Williams}} (or, if she lost her most recent match, whoever beat her)
|Secretary of Transportation
|As of the time of publication, Serena Williams was the top female tennis player (though not the world #1 ranking, because she took time off for pregnancy). She is arguably the greatest female tennis player of all-time, winning 39 {{w|Grand Slam (tennis)|Grand Slam}} titles, including 23 women's singles titles. At the time of publication Serena Williams did win her most recent match (2018 French Open, third round, on June 2nd), although she withdrew from her next match against Maria Sharapova (which perhaps should count as a loss, especially if she withdrew in order to preserve her place in the line of succession and led the terrorist attack that killed everybody in place ahead of her).

If her most recent defeat was to a non-US player, presumably she would be skipped over in line although this is not explicitly stated (the current succession list skips over anyone who would not normally qualify for not being a natural-born US citizen).
|-
|16
|The most recent season NBA, NFL, MLB, and NHL MVPs
|Secretary of Energy
|MVP stands for {{w|Most Valuable Player}}. The 4 listed leagues are the major sports leagues in the United States, the {{w|National Basketball Association}} (NBA), the {{w|National Football League}} (NFL), {{w|Major League Baseball}} (MLB), and the {{w|National Hockey League}} (NHL). We're assuming that Randall meant the regular season MVPs of each league, as each league also awards MVPs for their respective championships (or in the case of the NHL's {{w|Conn Smythe Trophy}}, their entire playoffs).

As of the time of publication, the most recent MVPs for the listed sports were {{w|Russell Westbrook}} (NBA), {{w|Tom Brady}} (NFL), {{w|José Altuve}} and {{w|Giancarlo Stanton}} (MLB has two, one for the American League and one for the National League), and {{w|Connor McDavid}} (NHL). Of these, only Brady would qualify for the list - Altuve and McDavid are not US citizens (the former is from Venezuela and the latter from Canada), and Westbrook (29) and Stanton (28) are too young.
|-
|17
|{{w|Bill Pullman}} and his descendants by absolute primogeniture
|Secretary of Education
|American actor, known for playing President Thomas J. Whitmore in the 1996 film ''{{w|Independence Day (1996 film)|Independence Day}}''.

Absolute primogeniture is a form of succession where the oldest direct descendant regardless of gender receives the title. This is contrasted to {{w|Male-preference primogeniture}}, in which males come before females in the order of the throne, whether the males were born first or not. This may be a reference to the British law {{w|Succession to the Crown Act 2013}}, which changed the order of the throne from male-preference primogeniture to absolute primogeniture. This act allows {{w|Princess Charlotte of Cambridge|Princess Charlotte}} to retain her place in line before {{w|Prince Louis of Cambridge|Prince Louis}}.

As of the present, Pullman's immediate descendants consist of three children, with Maesa Pullman being the oldest at age 29, so all are currently too young for the presidency.
|-
|18
|The entire line of succession to the British throne
|Secretary of Veterans Affairs
|According to the Constitution, only a natural-born citizen of the United States can become President, which means that at least most of the line of succession to the British throne is ineligible. However, it is possible that someone in the line of succession to the British throne either is a dual citizen (especially one who is a U.S. citizen based on place of birth and a British citizen based on having a parent who was a British citizen descended from {{w|Sophia of Hanover}}) or is not British (a person from outside of Britain can become King; for example, some, including George I, were from what is now Germany).

The first 57 names on the list are {{w|Succession_to_the_British_throne#Current_line_of_succession|here}}, as of the time of publication. [https://lineofsuccession.co.uk/?date=2018-06-06 British Line of Succession on 6 June 2018] shows the list as it was at the comic's publication. American citizens [http://articles.latimes.com/1988-02-11/news/vw-42233_1_royal-house have, at times] been on the list, but no natural-born Americans are currently in the top 100. In theory, however, the full British succession list includes several thousand people (living descendants of {{w|Sophia of Hanover}} who are not Roman Catholic or otherwise disqualified), and it is possible that one or more such people would also be eligible to be President of the United States.

The humor here derives from the fact that the United States was established by declaring independence from the United Kingdom, with rejection of the British monarchy being a basic founding principle, and a core principle of US governance. To appoint the British monarchy to the American presidency would contradict the basic goals of American independence. Alternatively, it may reference the recent wedding of {{w|Prince Harry}} to {{w|Meghan Markle}}, although she is not in the order of succession to the British throne (and she is planning to give up her U.S. citizenship in favour of British citizenship, so her children (who would come immediately after Harry in the British line of succession) would not be born U.S. citizens either). A similar sequence of events was the plotline of the comedy film ''{{w|King Ralph}}'', which saw an American become the British monarch after the death of the royal family.
|-
|19
|The current champion of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest
|Secretary of Homeland Security
|The {{w|Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest}} is an annual American hot dog competitive eating competition sponsored by {{w|Nathan's Famous}} held on July 4th. As of the time of publication, the most recent men's winner is {{w|Joey Chestnut}} and the women's winner is {{w|Miki Sudo}}. Neither is currently old enough to assume the office.
|-
|20
|All other US citizens, chosen by a 29-round single-elimination Jousting tournament
|''None''
|Effective for a population up to 536,870,912 individuals (2^29) which would be enough to cover the entire US population (estimated at around 325 million at time of publication), although additional rounds can be added should the population grow further.

This is probably a reference to the {{w|Matter of Britain}} (e.g., {{w|The Sword in the Stone (film)|The Sword in the Stone}}), where, after the death of Uther Pendragon, with no known successor to the throne of England for years, it is decided that the winner of a jousting tournament shall be crowned. However, Arthur, the Wart, pulls the Sword from the Stone.
|}

The title text mentions whoever was closest to the surface of {{w|Europa}} when they were born. Europa is a moon of Jupiter, so most people would be very far from its surface when they were born. However, depending on the relative positions of Earth and Jupiter when you were born, you could easily have been tens of millions of kilometers closer. Alternatively, Randall could be playing on how Europa sounds like Europe.

===List of specific individuals===
Based on the comic's defined criteria for the order of succession, these are the specific individuals in that order, including only people who are otherwise eligible to be President of Untied states (35 year old and natural born US citizens who lived in US for last 14 years) as of the date the comic was published:
{| class="wikitable sortable"
!Order
!Name
!Reason
!Notes
|-
|1
|{{w|Donald Trump}}
|{{w|President of the United States}}
|
|-
|2
|{{w|Mike Pence}}
|{{w|Vice President of the United States}}
|
|-
|3
|{{w|Mike Pompeo}}
|{{w|United States Secretary of State}}
|
|-
|4
|{{w|Jim Mattis}}
|{{w|United States Secretary of Defense}}
|
|-
|5
|{{w|Kirstjen Nielsen}}
|{{w|United States Secretary of Homeland Security}}
|
|-
|6
|{{w|Jeff Sessions}}
|{{w|United States Attorney General}}
|
|-
|7
|{{w|Tom Hanks}}
|Tom Hanks
|As Donald Trump did not appoint anyone to fill position #7 on Randall's line of succession, Hanks immediately follows after Sessions.
|-
|8
|{{w|Jerry Brown}}
|Governor of California
|
|-
|9
|{{w|Greg Abbott}}
|Governor of Texas
|
|-
|10
|{{w|Andrew Cuomo}}
|Governor of New York
|
|-
|11
|{{w|Rick Scott}}
|Governor of Florida
|
|-
|12
|{{w|Bruce Rauner}}
|Governor of Illinois
|
|-
|13
|{{w|Tom Wolf}}
|Governor of Pennsylvania
|
|-
|14
|{{w|John Kasich}}
|Governor of Ohio
|
|-
|15
|{{w|Rick Snyder}}
|Governor of Michigan
|
|-
|16
|{{w|Nathan Deal}}
|Governor of Georgia
|
|-
|17
|{{w|Roy Cooper}}
|Governor of North Carolina
|
|-
|18
|{{w|Phil Murphy}}
|Governor of New Jersey
|
|-
|19
|{{w|Ralph Northam}}
|Governor of Virginia
|
|-
|20
|{{w|Jay Inslee}}
|Governor of Washington
|
|-
|21
|{{w|Charlie Baker}}
|Governor of Massachusetts
|
|-
|22
|{{w|Eric Holcomb}}
|Governor of Indiana
|
|-
|23
|{{w|Doug Ducey}}
|Governor of Arizona
|
|-
|24
|{{w|Bill Haslam}}
|Governor of Tennessee
|
|-
|25
|{{w|Mike Parson}}
|Governor of Missouri
|
|-
|26
|{{w|Larry Hogan}}
|Governor of Maryland
|
|-
|27
|{{w|Scott Walker (politician)|Scott Walker}}
|Governor of Wisconsin
|
|-
|28
|{{w|Mark Dayton}}
|Governor of Minnesota
|
|-
|29
|{{w|John Hickenlooper}}
|Governor of Colorado
|
|-
|30
|{{w|Kay Ivey}}
|Governor of Alabama
|
|-
|31
|{{w|Henry McMaster}}
|Governor of South Carolina
|
|-
|32
|{{w|John Bel Edwards}}
|Governor of Louisiana
|
|-
|33
|{{w|Matt Bevin}}
|Governor of Kentucky
|
|-
|33
|{{w|Kate Brown}}
|Governor of Oregon
|Born in Spain to a member of the US Air Force, should be considered a natural-born citizen until proven otherwise.
|-
|35
|{{w|Mary Fallin}}
|Governor of Oklahoma
|
|-
|36
|{{w|Dannel Malloy}}
|Governor of Connecticut
|
|-
|37
|{{w|Kim Reynolds}}
|Governor of Iowa
|
|-
|38
|{{w|Phil Bryant}}
|Governor of Mississippi
|
|-
|39
|{{w|Asa Hutchinson}}
|Governor of Arkansas
|
|-
|40
|{{w|Jeff Colyer}}
|Governor of Kansas
|
|-
|41
|{{w|Gary Herbert}}
|Governor of Utah
|
|-
|42
|{{w|Brian Sandoval}}
|Governor of Nevada
|
|-
|43
|{{w|Susana Martinez}}
|Governor of New Mexico
|
|-
|44
|{{w|Jim Justice}}
|Governor of West Virginia
|
|-
|45
|{{w|Pete Ricketts}}
|Governor of Nebraska
|
|-
|46
|{{w|Butch Otter}}
|Governor of Idaho
|
|-
|47
|{{w|David Ige}}
|Governor of Hawaii
|
|-
|48
|{{w|Paul LePage}}
|Governor of Maine
|
|-
|49
|{{w|Chris Sununu}}
|Governor of New Hampshire
|
|-
|50
|{{w|Gina Raimondo}}
|Governor of Rhode Island
|
|-
|51
|{{w|Steve Bullock (American politician)|Steve Bullock}}
|Governor of Montana
|
|-
|52
|{{w|John Carney (politician)|John Carney}}
|Governor of Delaware
|
|-
|53
|{{w|Dennis Daugaard}}
|Governor of South Dakota
|
|-
|54
|{{w|Bill Walker (U.S. politician)|Bill Walker}}
|Governor of Alaska
|
|-
|55
|{{w|Doug Burgum}}
|Governor of North Dakota
|
|-
|56
|{{w|Phil Scott (politician)|Phil Scott}}
|Governor of Vermont
|
|-
|57
|{{w|Matt Mead}}
|Governor of Wyoming
|
|-
|58
|{{w|Kate McKinnon}}
|Kate MicKinnon
|If she is available. Entries #10 and 11 on Randall's list have no eligible members.
|-
|59
|{{w|Luis Fonsi}}
|Billboard Year-End Hot 100 singles of 2017, #2 artist
|Fonsi is the only eligible individual under the Billboard criterion.
|-
|60
|{{w|Peggy Whitson}}
|Astronaut, 665 days in space
|
|-
|61
|{{w|Jeffrey Williams (astronaut)|Jeff Williams}}
|Astronaut, 534 days in space
|
|-
|62
|{{w|Scott Kelly}}
|Astronaut, 520 days in space
|
|-
|63
|{{w|Mike Fincke}}
|Astronaut, 382 days in space
|
|-
|64
|{{w|Mike Foale}}
|Astronaut, 374 days in space
|Foale was born in the UK but his mother is an American, and he holds dual citizenship with both countries. It isn't clear legally whether this situation would qualify him as being a "natural-born" citizen as US courts have never definitively ruled on what the term means, so similar to Governor Kate Brown his name is included in the list until further notice.
|-
|65
|{{w|Serena Williams}}
|Serena Williams
|Serena's place on this list assumes that you do not count her withdrawal against Maria Sharapova as a ''loss''; if that counts as a loss, then subsequent entries move up one position (as Sharapova is ineligible).
|-
|66
|{{w|Tom Brady}}
|{{w|National Football League Most Valuable Player Award|NFL MVP}}
|The MVPs of all other listed sports leagues are ineligible for the office.
|-
|67
|{{w|Bill Pullman}}
|Bill Pullman
|None of his children are old enough to become President at this time.
|-
|68
|''everyone else''
|Jousting tournament
|Assumes that no eligible member of the British order of succession exists. The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating champions are too young to hold the office.
|}

==Transcript==
: A proposal for a new presidential line of succession
: Current politics aside, most experts agree the existing process is flawed. The Presidential Succession Act of 1947 is probably unconstitutional on several counts, and there are many practical issues with the system as well.
: (For more, see the surprisingly gripping ''Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission'', June 2009.)
: Proposed line of succession:
:# President
:# Vice president
:# Secretary of State
:# Secretary of Defense
:# Secretary of Homeland Security
:# Attorney General
:# Five people who do not live in Washington DC, nominated at the start of the president's term and confirmed by the Senate
:# Tom Hanks
:# State Governors, in descending order of state population at last census
:# Anyone who won an Oscar for playing a governor
:# Anyone who won a Governor's award for playing someone named Oscar
:# Kate McKinnon, if available
:# Billboard year-end Hot 100 singles artists #1 through #10 (for groups, whoever is credited first in name, liner notes, etc)
:# The top 5 US astronauts in descending order of total spaceflight time
:# Serena Williams (or, if she lost her most recent match, whoever beat her)
:# The most recent season NBA, NFL, MLB, and NHL MVPs
:# Bull Pullman and his descendants by absolute primogeniture
:# The entire line of succession to the British throne
:# The current champion of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest
:# All other US citizens, chosen by a 29-round single-elimination Jousting tournament

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Politics]]

2003: Presidential Succession

2018-06-09T05:48:54Z

Aquillion: /* Explanation */ adding another common criticism of the current presidential succession rules.

{{comic
| number = 2003
| date = June 6, 2018
| title = Presidential Succession
| image = presidential_succession.png
| titletext = Ties are broken by whoever was closest to the surface of Europa when they were born.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DESIGNATED SURVIVOR. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The {{w|United States presidential line of succession}} is the order of people who serve as president if the current incumbent president is incapacitated, dies, resigns, or is removed from office.

The {{w|Presidential_Succession_Act#Presidential_Succession_Act_of_1947|Presidential Succession Act of 1947}} was an act by the U.S. Congress that revised the presidential order of succession to its current order. This Act, though never challenged in the courts, may not be constitutional for two reasons. First, it is unclear whether members of Congress can be designated in the line of succession. Secondly, the Act allows for a cabinet officer to be "replaced" as acting President by a new Speaker of the House or a new President Pro Tempore of the Senate.

An additional concern regarding the Act is that after the President Pro Tempore of the Senate, the line of succession list the members of the Cabinet in the order that their department was established with the oldest departments first, irrespective of the Secretary's personal fitness or appropriateness of the office. The Department of Homeland Security is in charge of the security and protection of the United States and its citizens and would probably already be privy to sensitive intelligence and briefings related to national security, but because it is the latest of the Departments to have been established (in 2003), the Secretary of Homeland Security is all the way at the bottom of the current Presidential line of succession at 18th, behind other Secretaries such as that of Agriculture (9th) and Education (16th).

Another practical concern is that, by including the Speaker of the House and the President Pro Tempore of the Senate immediately after the Vice President, there is a serious risk that the simultaneous death of the President and Vice President could cause the Presidency to change to the opposing party, which (in the current American political climate) could lead to serious political instability at the precise moment when the country is facing a national crisis.

The full text of the Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission can be found here: <https://www.brookings.edu/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/06_continuity_of_government.pdf>. A short, readable summary, including the report's recommended new line of succession, is here: <https://www.brookings.edu/research/the-continuity-of-the-presidency-the-second-report-of-the-continuity-of-government-commission/>. The first 6 members of the commission's list are included in the current line of succession, after which they specificy that 5 new people should be appointed specifically for the purpose of succeeding the presidency if needed. Randall's list begins with these 11 people (stuffing all 5 of the new appointees into #7); afterwards, his list continues with more politicians, actors who have played Presidents, athletes, and others.

Randall's list omits the Speaker of the House and the President Pro Tempore of the Senate, as well as many other cabinet positions. He is probably simply following the commission's report in this. But perhaps he does not find those people qualified to become President of the United States, or is concerned about the constitutionality of lawmakers becoming President. However, he does not seem to be concerned about constitutionality, because he included the entire line of succession to the British throne, most of whom do not meet the requirement to be a natural-born citizen of the United States.{{Citation needed}} {{w|https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Article_Two_of_the_United_States_Constitution#Clause_5:_Qualifications_for_office|Article Two of the US Constitution}} establishes that the President must be a "{{w|Natural-born-citizen clause|natural-born}}" US citizen at least 35 years of age and had lived in the US for the last 14 years.

Randall's list includes several other people who also might not be eligible to become President either because they are not natural-born U.S. citizens (e.g., as of the time of the comic's publication, {{w|Serena Williams}} had withdrawn from her last match in the {{w|French Open}} to {{w|Maria Sharapova}}, who is Russian) or they are under 35 years of age ({{w|Russell Westbrook}}, the reigning NBA Most Valuable Player at the time of the comic's publication, was only 29 years old). These would mainly be athletes due to the relatively global reach of the four major professional sports leagues in North America and the fact that 35 is quite old for a professional athlete, let alone one who is good enough to win the league MVP. Presumably, those who wouldn't qualify for the office of President would be skipped over like in real life -- at the comic's publication, {{w|Elaine Chao}} was the Secretary of Transportation and would normally be 14th in line, but because she is a naturalized citizen of the US (she was born in Taiwan) she would not qualify for the office if the line came to her.

This is another comic in the continuing line of comics about American politics, especially after the election of Donald Trump as President in 2016.

==Order of succession==
{| class="wikitable sortable"
!#
!Randall's order
!Current order by the 1947 Act
!Notes
|-
|1
|President
|President
|Not generally considered part of the line of succession, as incumbents cannot "succeed" to their own post. (This should really be item 0 on the list.)
|-
|2
|Vice president
|Vice president
|No change
|-
|3
|Secretary of State
|Speaker of the House of Representatives
|Moved up from 5th position. This is likely a serious suggestion. Existing rules of succession hand Executive power to the leaders of the Legislative branch if the President and Vice-President are both killed or removed from power. This is troubling for a number of reasons. One is that the Executive and Legislative branches are supposed to act as independent checks on one another's power, and so are supposed to be kept separate. Another issue is that the Executive and Legislative branches are frequently controlled by political rivals from different political parties. In such a case, assassins could effectively reverse the results of Presidential elections if they managed to kill the President and Vice-President in a short period of time (which is used as part of the twist ending in {{w|White House Down}}). Additionally, leaders of the House and Senate aren't as deeply connected to the military and diplomatic missions of the country, and so would have a hard time maintaining continuity, particularly if an attack or disaster killed multiple national leaders at once. These problems could all be addressed by keeping the initial Line of Succession confined to the Executive branch of government.
|-
|4
|Secretary of Defense
|President pro tempore of the Senate
|Moved up from 7th position
|-
|5
|Secretary of Homeland Security
|Secretary of State
|Moved up from 19th position, possibly to highlight the Attorney General's place in the current order
|-
|6
|Attorney General
|Secretary of the Treasury
|Moved up from 8th position
|-
|7
|Five people who do not live in Washington DC, nominated at the start of the President's term and confirmed by the Senate
|Secretary of Defense
|{{w|Washington, D.C.}} is the capital of the United States, and is where the {{w|White House}}, the President's residence, is located. Presumably this provision covers the case where much of the government, including positions 1–6 here, are killed by a natural disaster or attack in Washington, D.C.

This suggestion establishes no qualifications for these people, but the fact that they'd need to be confirmed by the Senate suggests that they would be chosen to be competent for the role. It is also unclear if an order is determined among these five or if they take up a joint presidency. This suggestion is taken from the Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission as a potential mechanism to ensure members of succession are not in Washington DC during a catastrophic attack.
|-
|8
|{{w|Tom Hanks}}
|Attorney General
|Academy Award-winning American actor. This is the first unambiguously unserious suggestion.{{Citation needed}} Tom Hanks is very popular and considered exceptionally likeable by many Americans, but has never served in public office or displayed any particular affinity for politics. He has also never played a president, though he has received a {{w|Presidential Medal of Freedom}}, and appeared in a {{w|Last Week Tonight with John Oliver}} [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyPRssh2rk0 skit], where he rallies five (wax) presidents to action. The implication is that Mr. Hanks would be easily accepted as a leader, based solely on his personal charm.
|-
|9
|State Governors, in descending order of state population at last census
|Secretary of the Interior
|Also taken from Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission. At the time of publication, the last {{w|United States Census}} was the 2010 Census. As California is the most populous state, Gov {{w|Jerry Brown}} would be first in line.

See also the {{w|2010_United_States_Census#State_rankings|state population rankings}} and the {{w|list of current United States governors}}. As worded, this criterion would exclude territorial governors (and the Mayor of Washington, D.C.).
|-
|10
|Anyone who won an Oscar for playing a governor
|Secretary of Agriculture
|Oscars, or {{w|Academy Awards}}, are annual film awards awarded by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. At the time of publication, the only Oscar awarded for playing a governor was {{w|Broderick Crawford}}'s 1949 Best Actor award for the fictional Willie Stark in ''{{w|All the King's Men (1949 film)|All the King's Men}}'' (a character based on {{w|Huey Long}}). However, Crawford died in 1986, so would be unable to serve as President.

May be a reference to the {{w|Political career of Arnold Schwarzenegger}}: a highly-lauded actor who became governor of California, but did not win an Oscar or play a governor before being elected. (As a naturalized citizen, he is also ineligible for the Presidency.)
|-
|11
|Anyone who won a Governor's award for playing someone named Oscar
|Secretary of Commerce
|The {{w|Governors Awards}} are an annual award ceremony hosted by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to present lifetime achievement awards within the film industry. As this award is a lifetime achievement award, it does not seem possible that an actor could win this award for simply playing someone named Oscar. Notwithstanding the nature of the award, at the time of publication, no recipient of a Governors Award has played a character named Oscar.

Obviously, the joke is that changing the order of the words from the previous proposal produces something that could actually exist.
|-
|12
|{{w|Kate McKinnon}}, if available
|Secretary of Labor
|Comedic actress famous for being a cast member on {{w|Saturday Night Live}}. She is known for her character work and celebrity impressions. She has recently done impersonations of members of the Trump administration including Spokeswoman {{w|Kellyanne Conway}} and Attorney General {{w|Jeff Sessions}}. She also played {{w|Hillary Clinton}} during the 2016 campaign and presumably would have played her when she was President had she won; but since Clinton lost, McKinnon has not actually played a President.
|-
|13
|Billboard Year-End Hot 100 Singles artists #1 through #10 (for groups, whoever is credited first in name, liner notes, etc)
|Secretary of Health and Human Services
|The {{w|Billboard Hot 100}} is the music industry standard record chart in the United States for singles, published weekly by Billboard magazine. The weekly data is aggregated into a cumulative {{w|Billboard Year-End}} (based on a "year" that ends the third week of November, in order to meet December publication deadlines). At the time of publication, the most recent such list was the {{w|Billboard Year-End Hot 100 singles of 2017}}.

Based on that list, the artists considered for the presidential succession would be: {{w|Ed Sheeran}}, {{w|Luis Fonsi}}, {{w|Bruno Mars}}, {{w|Kendrick Lamar}}, Alex Pall (of {{w|The Chainsmokers}}), {{w|Quavo|Quavoius Keyate Marshall}} (of {{w|Migos}}), {{w|Sam Hunt}}, {{w|Dan Reynolds}} (of {{w|Imagine Dragons}}), and {{w|Post Malone}}. There are only nine names instead of ten because The Chainsmokers had two of the top 10 singles in 2017. Of these, only Luis Fonsi (40 years old, born in Puerto Rico) is legally eligible for the office; Sheeran is from the UK, and the other seven are too young.
|-
|14
|The top 5 US astronauts in descending order of total spaceflight time
|Secretary of Housing and Urban Development
|Astronauts are highly respected and rigorously selected, but most have little involvement in politics. According to [https://www.nasa.gov/feature/nasa-station-astronaut-record-holders NASA], the top 5 US astronauts by cumulative space time are: {{w|Peggy Whitson}}, {{w|Jeffrey Williams (astronaut)|Jeff Williams}}, {{W|Scott Kelly (astronaut)|Scott Kelly}}, {{w|Mike Fincke}}, and {{w|Mike Foale}}. However, it isn't clear whether Foale would qualify as a natural-born citizen as he was born in the UK and his father is British but his mother is American.
|-
|15
|{{w|Serena Williams}} (or, if she lost her most recent match, whoever beat her)
|Secretary of Transportation
|As of the time of publication, Serena Williams was the top female tennis player (though not the world #1 ranking, because she took time off for pregnancy). She is arguably the greatest female tennis player of all-time, winning 39 {{w|Grand Slam (tennis)|Grand Slam}} titles, including 23 women's singles titles. At the time of publication Serena Williams did win her most recent match (2018 French Open, third round, on June 2nd), although she withdrew from her next match against Maria Sharapova (which perhaps should count as a loss, especially if she withdrew in order to preserve her place in the line of succession and led the terrorist attack that killed everybody in place ahead of her).

If her most recent defeat was to a non-US player, presumably she would be skipped over in line although this is not explicitly stated (the current succession list skips over anyone who would not normally qualify for not being a natural-born US citizen).
|-
|16
|The most recent season NBA, NFL, MLB, and NHL MVPs
|Secretary of Energy
|MVP stands for {{w|Most Valuable Player}}. The 4 listed leagues are the major sports leagues in the United States, the {{w|National Basketball Association}} (NBA), the {{w|National Football League}} (NFL), {{w|Major League Baseball}} (MLB), and the {{w|National Hockey League}} (NHL). We're assuming that Randall meant the regular season MVPs of each league, as each league also awards MVPs for their respective championships (or in the case of the NHL's {{w|Conn Smythe Trophy}}, their entire playoffs).

As of the time of publication, the most recent MVPs for the listed sports were {{w|Russell Westbrook}} (NBA), {{w|Tom Brady}} (NFL), {{w|José Altuve}} and {{w|Giancarlo Stanton}} (MLB has two, one for the American League and one for the National League), and {{w|Connor McDavid}} (NHL). Of these, only Brady would qualify for the list - Altuve and McDavid are not US citizens (the former is from Venezuela and the latter from Canada), and Westbrook (29) and Stanton (28) are too young.
|-
|17
|{{w|Bill Pullman}} and his descendants by absolute primogeniture
|Secretary of Education
|American actor, known for playing President Thomas J. Whitmore in the 1996 film ''{{w|Independence Day (1996 film)|Independence Day}}''.

Absolute primogeniture is a form of succession where the oldest direct descendant regardless of gender receives the title. This is contrasted to {{w|Male-preference primogeniture}}, in which males come before females in the order of the throne, whether the males were born first or not. This may be a reference to the British law {{w|Succession to the Crown Act 2013}}, which changed the order of the throne from male-preference primogeniture to absolute primogeniture. This act allows {{w|Princess Charlotte of Cambridge|Princess Charlotte}} to retain her place in line before {{w|Prince Louis of Cambridge|Prince Louis}}.

As of the present, Pullman's immediate descendants consist of three children, with Maesa Pullman being the oldest at age 29, so all are currently too young for the presidency.
|-
|18
|The entire line of succession to the British throne
|Secretary of Veterans Affairs
|According to the Constitution, only a natural-born citizen of the United States can become President, which means that at least most of the line of succession to the British throne is ineligible. However, it is possible that someone in the line of succession to the British throne either is a dual citizen (especially one who is a U.S. citizen based on place of birth and a British citizen based on having a parent who was a British citizen descended from {{w|Sophia of Hanover}}) or is not British (a person from outside of Britain can become King; for example, some, including George I, were from what is now Germany).

The first 57 names on the list are {{w|Succession_to_the_British_throne#Current_line_of_succession|here}}, as of the time of publication. [https://lineofsuccession.co.uk/?date=2018-06-06 British Line of Succession on 6 June 2018] shows the list as it was at the comic's publication. American citizens [http://articles.latimes.com/1988-02-11/news/vw-42233_1_royal-house have, at times] been on the list, but no natural-born Americans are currently in the top 100. In theory, however, the full British succession list includes several thousand people (living descendants of {{w|Sophia of Hanover}} who are not Roman Catholic or otherwise disqualified), and it is possible that one or more such people would also be eligible to be President of the United States.

The humor here derives from the fact that the United States was established by declaring independence from the United Kingdom, with rejection of the British monarchy being a basic founding principle, and a core principle of US governance. To appoint the British monarchy to the American presidency would contradict the basic goals of American independence. Alternatively, it may reference the recent wedding of {{w|Prince Harry}} to {{w|Meghan Markle}}, although she is not in the order of succession to the British throne (and she is planning to give up her U.S. citizenship in favour of British citizenship, so her children (who would come immediately after Harry in the British line of succession) would not be born U.S. citizens either). A similar sequence of events was the plotline of the comedy film ''{{w|King Ralph}}'', which saw an American become the British monarch after the death of the royal family.
|-
|19
|The current champion of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest
|Secretary of Homeland Security
|The {{w|Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest}} is an annual American hot dog competitive eating competition sponsored by {{w|Nathan's Famous}} held on July 4th. As of the time of publication, the most recent men's winner is {{w|Joey Chestnut}} and the women's winner is {{w|Miki Sudo}}. Neither is currently old enough to assume the office.
|-
|20
|All other US citizens, chosen by a 29-round single-elimination Jousting tournament
|''None''
|Effective for a population up to 536,870,912 individuals (2^29) which would be enough to cover the entire US population (estimated at around 325 million at time of publication), although additional rounds can be added should the population grow further.

This is probably a reference to the {{w|Matter of Britain}} (e.g., {{w|The Sword in the Stone (film)|The Sword in the Stone}}), where, after the death of Uther Pendragon, with no known successor to the throne of England for years, it is decided that the winner of a jousting tournament shall be crowned. However, Arthur, the Wart, pulls the Sword from the Stone.
|}

The title text mentions whoever was closest to the surface of {{w|Europa}} when they were born. Europa is a moon of Jupiter, so most people would be very far from its surface when they were born. However, depending on the relative positions of Earth and Jupiter when you were born, you could easily have been tens of millions of kilometers closer. Alternatively, Randall could be playing on how Europa sounds like Europe.

===List of specific individuals===
Based on the comic's defined criteria for the order of succession, these are the specific individuals in that order, including only people who are otherwise eligible to be President of Untied states (35 year old and natural born US citizens who lived in US for last 14 years) as of the date the comic was published:
{| class="wikitable sortable"
!Order
!Name
!Reason
!Notes
|-
|1
|{{w|Donald Trump}}
|{{w|President of the United States}}
|
|-
|2
|{{w|Mike Pence}}
|{{w|Vice President of the United States}}
|
|-
|3
|{{w|Mike Pompeo}}
|{{w|United States Secretary of State}}
|
|-
|4
|{{w|Jim Mattis}}
|{{w|United States Secretary of Defense}}
|
|-
|5
|{{w|Kirstjen Nielsen}}
|{{w|United States Secretary of Homeland Security}}
|
|-
|6
|{{w|Jeff Sessions}}
|{{w|United States Attorney General}}
|
|-
|7
|{{w|Tom Hanks}}
|Tom Hanks
|As Donald Trump did not appoint anyone to fill position #7 on Randall's line of succession, Hanks immediately follows after Sessions.
|-
|8
|{{w|Jerry Brown}}
|Governor of California
|
|-
|9
|{{w|Greg Abbott}}
|Governor of Texas
|
|-
|10
|{{w|Andrew Cuomo}}
|Governor of New York
|
|-
|11
|{{w|Rick Scott}}
|Governor of Florida
|
|-
|12
|{{w|Bruce Rauner}}
|Governor of Illinois
|
|-
|13
|{{w|Tom Wolf}}
|Governor of Pennsylvania
|
|-
|14
|{{w|John Kasich}}
|Governor of Ohio
|
|-
|15
|{{w|Rick Snyder}}
|Governor of Michigan
|
|-
|16
|{{w|Nathan Deal}}
|Governor of Georgia
|
|-
|17
|{{w|Roy Cooper}}
|Governor of North Carolina
|
|-
|18
|{{w|Phil Murphy}}
|Governor of New Jersey
|
|-
|19
|{{w|Ralph Northam}}
|Governor of Virginia
|
|-
|20
|{{w|Jay Inslee}}
|Governor of Washington
|
|-
|21
|{{w|Charlie Baker}}
|Governor of Massachusetts
|
|-
|22
|{{w|Eric Holcomb}}
|Governor of Indiana
|
|-
|23
|{{w|Doug Ducey}}
|Governor of Arizona
|
|-
|24
|{{w|Bill Haslam}}
|Governor of Tennessee
|
|-
|25
|{{w|Mike Parson}}
|Governor of Missouri
|
|-
|26
|{{w|Larry Hogan}}
|Governor of Maryland
|
|-
|27
|{{w|Scott Walker (politician)|Scott Walker}}
|Governor of Wisconsin
|
|-
|28
|{{w|Mark Dayton}}
|Governor of Minnesota
|
|-
|29
|{{w|John Hickenlooper}}
|Governor of Colorado
|
|-
|30
|{{w|Kay Ivey}}
|Governor of Alabama
|
|-
|31
|{{w|Henry McMaster}}
|Governor of South Carolina
|
|-
|32
|{{w|John Bel Edwards}}
|Governor of Louisiana
|
|-
|33
|{{w|Matt Bevin}}
|Governor of Kentucky
|
|-
|33
|{{w|Kate Brown}}
|Governor of Oregon
|Born in Spain to a member of the US Air Force, should be considered a natural-born citizen until proven otherwise.
|-
|35
|{{w|Mary Fallin}}
|Governor of Oklahoma
|
|-
|36
|{{w|Dannel Malloy}}
|Governor of Connecticut
|
|-
|37
|{{w|Kim Reynolds}}
|Governor of Iowa
|
|-
|38
|{{w|Phil Bryant}}
|Governor of Mississippi
|
|-
|39
|{{w|Asa Hutchinson}}
|Governor of Arkansas
|
|-
|40
|{{w|Jeff Colyer}}
|Governor of Kansas
|
|-
|41
|{{w|Gary Herbert}}
|Governor of Utah
|
|-
|42
|{{w|Brian Sandoval}}
|Governor of Nevada
|
|-
|43
|{{w|Susana Martinez}}
|Governor of New Mexico
|
|-
|44
|{{w|Jim Justice}}
|Governor of West Virginia
|
|-
|45
|{{w|Pete Ricketts}}
|Governor of Nebraska
|
|-
|46
|{{w|Butch Otter}}
|Governor of Idaho
|
|-
|47
|{{w|David Ige}}
|Governor of Hawaii
|
|-
|48
|{{w|Paul LePage}}
|Governor of Maine
|
|-
|49
|{{w|Chris Sununu}}
|Governor of New Hampshire
|
|-
|50
|{{w|Gina Raimondo}}
|Governor of Rhode Island
|
|-
|51
|{{w|Steve Bullock (American politician)|Steve Bullock}}
|Governor of Montana
|
|-
|52
|{{w|John Carney (politician)|John Carney}}
|Governor of Delaware
|
|-
|53
|{{w|Dennis Daugaard}}
|Governor of South Dakota
|
|-
|54
|{{w|Bill Walker (U.S. politician)|Bill Walker}}
|Governor of Alaska
|
|-
|55
|{{w|Doug Burgum}}
|Governor of North Dakota
|
|-
|56
|{{w|Phil Scott (politician)|Phil Scott}}
|Governor of Vermont
|
|-
|57
|{{w|Matt Mead}}
|Governor of Wyoming
|
|-
|58
|{{w|Kate McKinnon}}
|Kate MicKinnon
|If she is available. Entries #10 and 11 on Randall's list have no eligible members.
|-
|59
|{{w|Luis Fonsi}}
|Billboard Year-End Hot 100 singles of 2017, #2 artist
|Fonsi is the only eligible individual under the Billboard criterion.
|-
|60
|{{w|Peggy Whitson}}
|Astronaut, 665 days in space
|
|-
|61
|{{w|Jeffrey Williams (astronaut)|Jeff Williams}}
|Astronaut, 534 days in space
|
|-
|62
|{{w|Scott Kelly}}
|Astronaut, 520 days in space
|
|-
|63
|{{w|Mike Fincke}}
|Astronaut, 382 days in space
|
|-
|64
|{{w|Mike Foale}}
|Astronaut, 374 days in space
|Foale was born in the UK but his mother is an American, and he holds dual citizenship with both countries. It isn't clear legally whether this situation would qualify him as being a "natural-born" citizen as US courts have never definitively ruled on what the term means, so similar to Governor Kate Brown his name is included in the list until further notice.
|-
|65
|{{w|Serena Williams}}
|Serena Williams
|Serena's place on this list assumes that you do not count her withdrawal against Maria Sharapova as a ''loss''; if that counts as a loss, then subsequent entries move up one position (as Sharapova is ineligible).
|-
|66
|{{w|Tom Brady}}
|{{w|National Football League Most Valuable Player Award|NFL MVP}}
|The MVPs of all other listed sports leagues are ineligible for the office.
|-
|67
|{{w|Bill Pullman}}
|Bill Pullman
|None of his children are old enough to become President at this time.
|-
|68
|''everyone else''
|Jousting tournament
|Assumes that no eligible member of the British order of succession exists. The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating champions are too young to hold the office.
|}

==Transcript==
: A proposal for a new presidential line of succession
: Current politics aside, most experts agree the existing process is flawed. The Presidential Succession Act of 1947 is probably unconstitutional on several counts, and there are many practical issues with the system as well.
: (For more, see the surprisingly gripping ''Second Report of the Continuity of Government Commission'', June 2009.)
: Proposed line of succession:
:# President
:# Vice president
:# Secretary of State
:# Secretary of Defense
:# Secretary of Homeland Security
:# Attorney General
:# Five people who do not live in Washington DC, nominated at the start of the president's term and confirmed by the Senate
:# Tom Hanks
:# State Governors, in descending order of state population at last census
:# Anyone who won an Oscar for playing a governor
:# Anyone who won a Governor's award for playing someone named Oscar
:# Kate McKinnon, if available
:# Billboard year-end Hot 100 singles artists #1 through #10 (for groups, whoever is credited first in name, liner notes, etc)
:# The top 5 US astronauts in descending order of total spaceflight time
:# Serena Williams (or, if she lost her most recent match, whoever beat her)
:# The most recent season NBA, NFL, MLB, and NHL MVPs
:# Bull Pullman and his descendants by absolute primogeniture
:# The entire line of succession to the British throne
:# The current champion of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest
:# All other US citizens, chosen by a 29-round single-elimination Jousting tournament

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Politics]]

1998: GDPR

2018-05-26T04:25:03Z

Aquillion:

{{comic
| number = 1998
| date = May 25, 2018
| title = GDPR
| image = gdpr.png
| titletext = By clicking anywhere, scrolling, or closing this notification, you agree to be legally bound by the witch Sycorax within a cloven pine.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by the EUROPEAN UNION - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic was released on the date on which the {{w|General Data Protection Regulation|General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR)}} law went into effect. Most people will have already seen a large number of updated privacy policies in the week or two leading up to this law going active. And while [[xkcd]] would likely be outside of the jurisdiction that the law can enforce, it technically does fall within the scope of the law (as certainly EU citizens visit xkcd).

There are several references made to this law, but also several jokes are included about the way people treat privacy policies specifically, and user agreements in general.

The comic is a joke privacy policy, with terms that no one would agree to under normal circumstances. In most cases, website users will use websites without reading the policies, potentially "agreeing" to something unexpected.

"purely out of the goodness of our hearts" is a phrase never expected to be found ever anywhere in any privacy policy. "and has nothing to do with ..." is a blatantly transparent lie - if this were a real privacy policy.

"governs your interactions" starts out as a plausibly valid statement including "the service" and "the website". But then balloons outward to include the entire Internet and Facebook. As this presumably is a privacy policy only for XKCD, this policy should not attempt to claim that it also represents Facebook or the entire Internet. The extension to Facebook may be a reference to reports that [https://www.smh.com.au/world/asia/facebook-is-the-internet-for-many-people-in-south-east-asia-20180322-p4z5nu.html "for many people ... Facebook is the Internet."]

"Please don't send us your personal information" is also a phrase never expected to be found ever in a privacy policy. A privacy policy, by default, is a contract users agree to BECAUSE personal information is being stored. This is likely a reference to the previous comic [[1997: Business Update]]

The phrase "quartering troops in your home" is likely a reference to the {{w|Third Amendment to the United States Constitution}}, which explicitly forbids this practice during peacetime. Refusing to quarter troops in one's home was previously referenced in [[496: Secretary: Part 3]].

"If you tell us your name" is presumably something that Randall does in real life and is not part of a privacy policy.

"This website places pixels" is something websites are designed to do and has nothing to do with privacy policies. Websites are more often employing "callback pixels" from companies such as Facebook and Twitter, which is an image file that is hosted on an external server that allows cross-platform and cross-session tracking for targeted advertisements. This is a controversial topic, as many people are against this kind of targeted advertising.

"We use cookies to enhance your performance." apparently says that Randall is giving out actual cookies that can be eaten. Privacy policies normally deal with electronic cookies that track user activity and store personal information.

"may use local storage" is threatening to turn the user's device into cloud storage should Randall run out of space on his drive.

The [http://lotr.wikia.com/wiki/Warning_beacons_of_Gondor Warning beacons of Gondor] were a system to call for aid used by {{w|Gondor}} in ''{{w|The Lord of the Rings}}''. They were used before the [http://lotr.wikia.com/wiki/Siege_of_Gondor Battle of the Pelennor Fields] to request the aid of the {{w|Rohan (Middle-earth)|Rohirrim}}. The use of the Beacons has previously been mentioned in [[921: Delivery Notification]].

{{w|3rd Party}} was a three-member dance-pop group that released one album in 1997, "Alive". In software, "third-party extensions" are small programs that plug into a larger program to modify its behavior, and are created neither by the maker of the larger program nor the user.

"requesting permission" can be construed in several frightening ways. 1. We will ask you after you die if you are willing to donate your organs. 2. We were not asking permission before, but now we have to ask. 3. We will ask you, but your answer doesn't actually matter. 4. We've switched from an organ donation program (legal) to an organ harvesting program (wildly illegal). 5. Anyone ''not'' in the EU will have (or, possibly, ''continue'' to have) their organs harvested without permission. Besides these frightening scenarios, there is also the question of how a website (and not a doctor) is going to perform the harvesting.

"supersedes" is an apparently valid statement. It's inclusiveness is quite extreme, but appears to be a technically valid statement.

"unenforceable" claims to have higher jurisdiction than any court and can somehow maintain legality even if a court disagrees. A typical policy would read that an unenforceable provision would not invalidate the rest of the policy.

"not liable" and "shall not be construed" are blanket statements that are supposed to have limiters. For example, a restaurant could have a policy stating "not liable for burns received from our hot coffee." A statement made to a court could say "The defendant's statement of giving the prostitute money shall not be construed as an admission of committing a crime." This makes little sense when claiming the website “is not liable” for anything, and “shall not be construed” to have any meaning whatsoever.

The Food and Drug Administration has nothing to do with privacy policies. As such, this is an accurate statement. Silly, but accurate.

"cure and treat any disease" is claiming to be a medical panacea. Panacea do not exist. It is also mocking the label on many food and health supplements, which are legally required to say they are “not intended to cure or treat any disease.”

The title text is a reference to Shakespeare's "{{w|The Tempest}}", in which the witch {{w|Sycorax}} imprisoned the sprite Ariel in a cloven pine prior to Ariel's rescue by Prospero.

==Transcript==
:[The picture shows a long text:]
:'''Privacy policy'''
:We've updated our privacy policy. This is purely out of the goodness of our hearts, and has nothing to do with any hypothetical unions on any particular continents. Please read every part of this policy carefully, and don't just skip ahead looking for sex scenes.
:This policy governs your interactions with this website, herein referred to as "The Service", "The Website", "The Internet", or "Facebook", and with all other websites and organizations of any kind. The enumeration in this policy, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the users. By using this service, you opt in to quartering troops in your home.

:'''Your personal information'''
:Please don't send us your personal information. We do not want your personal information. We have a hard enough time keeping track of our ''own'' personal information, let alone yours.
:If you tell us your name, or any identifying information, we will forget it immediately. The next time we see you, we'll struggle to remember who you are, and try desperately to get through the conversation so we can go online and hopefully figure it out.

:'''Tracking pixels, cookies, and beacons'''
:This website places pixels on your screen in order to form text and images, some of which may remain in your memory after you close the page. We use cookies to enhance your performance. Our website may use local storage on your device if we run low on space on our end. We may use beacons to call Rohan for aid.

:'''3rd party extension'''
:This service may utilize 3rd party extensions in order to play the song '''''Can U Feel It''''' from their debut album '''''Alive'''''.

:'''Permission'''
:For users who are citizens of the European Union, we will now be requesting permission before initiating organ harvesting.

:'''Scope and limitations'''
:This policy supersedes any application federal, state, and local laws, regulations and ordinances, international treaties, and legal agreements that would otherwise apply. If any provision of this policy is found by a court to be unenforceable, it nevertheless remains in force.
:This organization is not liable and this agreement shall not be construed. These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. This website is intended to treat, cure and prevent any disease.
:If you know anyone in Europe, please tell them we're cool.

{{comic discussion}}

1975: Right Click

2018-04-03T02:52:22Z

Aquillion: The letter-remover was originally from Leather Goddess of Phobos; Counterfeit Monkey was inspired by it.

{{comic
| number = 1975
| date = April 1, 2018
| title = Right Click
| image = right_click.png
| titletext = Right-click or long press (where supported) to save!
}}
'''NOTE: The above is the first panel of an interactive comic.''' 
To experience the interactive content, click [https://www.xkcd.com/1975/ here].

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Please add an explanation table of all functions This is an April Fools comic, so it'll take a while to get organized and much longer to fill out. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic pokes fun at how hard it can be to save an image or to just navigate context menus in some computer programs.

This is an interactive comic which manipulates the context menu of the browser. This menu is typically accessible by a right-click or a long press on mobile devices without a mouse.

It should be noted that if you DO manage to save the image somehow (Possibly by right-clicking before the javascript loads, or by pulling it from the source, or by right-click saving it normally from unixkcd), it just shows the initial image of the page with nothing changed. There is not additional joke by actually being able to save the image. Note that if you dig deep enough, there IS a way to save the image from the right click menu, and it DOES get you a different image. However, the other ways previously mentioned do not give you that image, even though you are saving the image.

The comic uses {{w|JavaScript}} and {{w|HTML5}} to override the standard context menu. Since modern browsers use the same features to integrate Add-ons into that menu, the behavior may be different depending on the browser environment.

The manipulated context menu is described below:
;Main Context Menu

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! # !! Menu Item !! Explanation !! Sub-Menu Items
|-
!1
| '''Save'''
| Only appears after successfully completing the ADVENT.EXE game or getting the Easter egg in Mornington Crescent.
| Save image> Downloads this image. [https://xkcd.com/1975/v6xso1_right_click_save.png]

|-
! 2
| '''File'''
| Normal submenu
|Close: Closes menu, does nothing.
Open: A:\, C:\, / (See more [[#Table - Filesystems Menu|below]])

Find: Where, When, How, (grayed out) What, (grayed out) Why, Who.

'Where' leads to four options. The first, 'computer', has two options ('folder' and 'menus'), which link back to the 'find' and right-click menus, respectively. "Narnia" leads to a link to the comic [[665: Prudence]] as well as to a grey comment about how it's weird that "they" have to die to go back to Narnia.
"Canada" and "America" lead to the same set of bizarre menus (America leads into Canada's menu), which then give the options 'Upper' and 'Lower', ultimately leading to a drive-through and hockey, respectively.

'When' leads to a description of Siri entering someone's home, and the menu can be followed to reveal several further events from 'earlier' in the day. The last one ('a bottle of jack and a toothbrush') is likely a reference to the song 'Tik Tok' by Kesha.

'How' simply leads to an exclamation of 'How!?'.

'Who' leads to a menu version of the Abbot and Costello "Who's on First?" routine.

Backup: Causes the area around the comic to flash red 9 times, with high-pitch sounds reminiscent of a truck backing up. Likely a pun.

Save: Only available after the save menu is unlocked after one of the two Easter Eggs is found, allows download of bonus comic.

|-
! 3
| '''Edit'''
| Enables a mode allowing the user to draw on the webpage. Pressing Esc asks "Aw, that looks nice though. Really delete?" and the page returns to normal if OK is clicked.
| None
|-
! 4
| '''System'''
| Normal submenu
|Shut Down> Changes the only menu option to "Power on", then once that is used, system returns to normal.

/ (See [[#Table - Filesystems Menu|below]])
|-
! 5
| '''View'''
| Normal submenu
|Cascade>Links to [http://wiki.xkcd.com/geohashing/Mt._St._Helens,_Washington]

Tile> Links to [[245: Floor Tiles]]

Minimize> Changes pointer to a smaller pointer.

Full Screen> Enters full screen.
|-
! 6
| '''Utilities'''
| Normal submenu
|Park drives> Nothing.

Check space usage> (cannot click) Space usage: -Dark matter -Hydrogen -Helium -Scattered clumps of heavier elements -Stars -Rocks -Some space probes -Earth

Spell check> English (links to [[1069: Alphabet]]) and Colors (links to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/])

Train AI> links to [[1838: Machine Learning]]

Identify song> opens a long word-by-word menu for song lyrics; it's actually a menu-ised version of [[851: Na]].

Advanced> several Unix commands, all absurd (or dangerous) for some reason:
* <code>apt-get install /dev/null</code>: <code>apt-get</code> is the standard package manager used in Debian-derived Linux distributions (including Ubuntu); it is normally used to install software; <code>/dev/null</code> is the "bit-bucket" device on any Unix system, which can be used as a dummy output file to discard output or as a dummy empty input file. This command would attempt to install <code>/dev/null</code> (which is a device, not a package!) or, more correctly, would try to install a package reading its data from <code>/dev/null</code> (if <code>apt-get</code> is given a file name it tries to interpret it as a .deb package), which is obviously impossible.
* <code>brew install apt-get</code>: <code>brew</code> is a third-party package manager for macOS; it is generally used to install "missing" open-source utilities on a macOS system; the command is attempting to install the aforementioned <code>apt-get</code>, which is both impossible (<code>apt-get</code> doesn't run on macOS) and hilariously recursive (did you install a package manager - brew - to install another one?). Even if this were possible, the package would have been called <code>apt</code>, as apt-get is only one of the commands in the package manager.
* <code>/usr/local/bin/wine xen-hypervisor.exe</code>: <code>wine</code> is a compatibility layer used to run Windows executables on Linux (and on macOS); the fact that it is in <code>/usr/local</code> hints that it has been manually compiled on this machine; Xen is a Linux-based hypervisor, i.e. a software used to run and manage virtual machines over a Linux host, but the .exe suffix here hints that it is a Windows executable. The command would try to launch a Windows build of a Linux-based virtual machine manager on a Unix machine through a Windows emulation layer (wine).
* <code>source .bash_history</code>: the <code>source</code> shell command reads the file that is given as argument and executes each of its rows as a command in the current shell, roughly as if you typed them in; <code>.bash_history</code> (located in the user home directory) is the file where the bash shell saves the history of the commands that have been run. This command would re-run all the command that have been typed in the shell.
* <code>rm -rf $DIRECTROY/*</code>: <code>rm -rf</code> deletes recursively and forcefully the paths it is given as arguments; <code>$DIRECTROY</code> is a shell variable, probably containing some directory that whoever typed in this command wanted to clean; however, it is misspelled (it says <code>$DIRECTROY</code>, not <code>$DIRECTORY</code>), and, due to how POSIX shell work, it is thus expanded to an empty string; so, the command becomes <code>rm -rf /*</code>, which deletes all the files and directories in the root of the disk, effectively killing the system instead of just deleting the content of some directory. Notice that this particular misspell manages to circumvent the builtin protection of many <code>rm</code> versions, which refuse to do a plain <code>rm -rf /</code>, as <code>/*</code> gets expanded by the shell, so <code>rm</code> never has the chance to see explicitly that you are killing all the data in the root directory.
* <code>:(){:|:&};:</code>: this is [https://askubuntu.com/q/159491/208527 a classic shell fork bomb], i.e. a small program that keeps launching copies of itself, until all resources have been exhausted or the user somehow manages to kill all its copies.
* <code>echo "source .bashrc" >> .bashrc</code>: <code>.bashrc</code> is a file that gets executed whenever the <code>bash</code> shell is started in interactive mode; this command appends the string <code>source .bashrc</code> to it, which effectively executes it again recursively; this would pretty much make it impossible to open an interactive shell when launching it with the default parameters.
* <code>alias gcc=php</code>: the <code>alias</code> shell builtin create an alias for another command; <code>gcc</code> is the GNU C compiler driver, which is used to compile programs written in the C language; <code>php</code> is the command-line interpreter for the PHP language. This line creates an alias such that when typing <code>gcc</code>, <code>php</code> is actually invoked, which would generate completely absurd error messages. This is doubly devious, as PHP isn't generally held in high esteem by large part of the programming community (especially by someone writing stuff in C).

'); DROP TABLE Menus;-- links to [[327: Exploits of a Mom]]
|-
! 7
| '''Games'''
| Normal submenu
| Twenty Questions> A Twenty Questions interface that gets really confusing. There are links to Bing image searches for '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=okapi&FORM=HDRSC2 okapi]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=pronghorn&FORM=HDRSC2 pronghorn]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=eland&FORM=HDRSC2 eland]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=baribusa&FORM=HDRSC2 baribusa]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=musk%20deer&FORM=HDRSC2 musk deer]' and '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=ibex&FORM=HDRSC2 ibex]'.

Rock Paper Scissors> A Rock Paper Scissors game where the computer always matches your move.

D&D> A complex Dungeons and Dragons interface. Allows you to cast various spells from D&D 5e which link to various pages, including xkcd comics (e.g. [[1331: Frequency]]), what-ifs (e.g. {{what if|144|Saliva Pool}}) and other external sites (e.g. [https://www.nasa.gov/sun The Sun | NASA]). See [https://www.reddit.com/r/dndnext/comments/88vwoe/xkcds_latest_comic_has_a_dd_easter_egg/ post on /r/dndnext] for all 285 links and 11 extra effects.

ADVENT.EXE> A text-based game. If played correctly, you can win, unlocking 'Save'>'Save image' from the beginning menu, which links to [https://xkcd.com/1975/v6xso1_right_click_save.png]. 'ADVENT.EXE>Castle>Well>Wish for...' has links to comics [[572: Together]], [[1053: Ten Thousand]], [[152: Hamster Ball]], [[1196: Subways]], [[231: Cat Proximity]] and to what-if articles {{what if|111|All the Money}} and {{what if|9|Soul Mates}}. The C-remover is a reference to either the T-remover from [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leather_Goddesses_of_Phobos Leather Goddess of Phobos] or the multi-letter remover from [http://emshort.com/counterfeit_monkey/ Counterfeit Monkey], a text adventure by Emily Short inspired by it.

Hoverboard> Links to [[1608: Hoverboard]] browser game.

Mornington Crescent> This is a simulation of the well-known game {{W|Mornington_Crescent_(game)|Mornington Crescent}}, which bears a surprising resemblance to {{W|London_Underground|London's Underground}} railway network. Players name a station, in turn, endeavouring to reach Mornington Crescent. The rules of play are very complicated and beyond the scope of this article; interested persons are referred to ''N. F. Stovold’s Mornington Crescent: Rules and Origins'' (sadly out of print). In this variation, one may reach 'Vauxhall'>'Easter basket'>'Take egg', also allowing you to save. The shortest path to the Easter basket is: Euston / Warren Street / Oxford Circus / Green Park / Victoria / Pimlico / Vauxhall / Easter basket
|-
! 8
| '''Help'''
| Contains various submenus, all of which, barring Credits, loop back recursively to this menu:
|Tutorial
Support

Manual

Troubleshooting

FAQ

Guide

Q&A

User forums

--------------

Credits> 'Some people who helped with this comic:
[http://chromakode.com/ @chromakode]
[https://twitter.com/aiiane Amber]
[https://twitter.com/fadinginterest @fadinginterest]
[https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat]
[https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin]
[http://90d.ca/ Stereo]'
|-
! 9
| '''Do Crimes'''
| Contains several "crimes" that can be committed. This option is unlocked by File > Open > C:\ (or /home/user) > Bookmarks/ > Secret > Enable Dark Web.
| Steal Bitcoins > Grayed out.
Say swears > Several clean swears that all link to [[771: Period Speech]].

Hack > Three sub-options that link to various related comics. (Gibson: Nothing. Election: [[1019: First Post]]. Planet: [[1337: Hack]].)

Forge a Scrabble Tile > Several sub-options that don't do anything. (U, Z, <this menu option intentionally left blank>, and two special characters, one appearing like a reversed 'E' modelled on a 'C', or Russian 'Э', as low-pitched [eh], and the second being crossed swords)
|}

;Filesystems Menu

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Drive !! Menu Item !! Explanation !! Sub-Menu Items
|-
! A:\
| '''Insert'''
| Only appears before inserting a floppy disk.
|Floppy disk> Unlocks other options for drive A:\, which are identical to drive C:\
Chip card> A long sequence of being told 'Please wait. Authorizing...' ending in 'Chip error! REMOVE CARD NOW!'
|-
! C:\
| '''Documents/'''
| Nothing.
| None.
|-
! C:\
| '''Music/'''
| Leads to a long string of prompts for song lyrics. 'Hey now / Hey now na now / Sing "This Corrosion" to me' inverts the webpage's color before Easter egg mode is enabled, and plays the referenced song in the browser with inverted color and flashing if the Easter egg mode is enabled. It's actually the same menu that is shown under Utilities>Identify song (which itself is a menu-ised version of [[851: Na]]).
| 'Hey now / Hey now / Don't dream it's over' links to [[240: Dream Girl]]. 'This / is / a / story all about how / my life got flipped, turned upside down' links to [[464: RBA]]. 'This / is / the / story of a girl / who cried a river and drowned the whole world' links to a Youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_FVAEYRM5I
|-
! C:\
| '''Bookmarks/'''
| Similar to Music/, Bookmarks/> Comics leads to a chain from which many comics are titled and linked. Bookmarks/> Secret> Enable Dark Web adds the 'Dark Web' option to the initial menu.
|-
! C:\
| '''Games/'''
| Same as 'Games' from the initial menu.
|-
! C:\
| '''Sequences/'''
| The options are the lines from a ''Tim and Eric'' sketch [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/celery-man Celery Man]; the final option links to a YouTube video of the sketch.
| After several single-option menus, it links to this Youtube video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHWBEK8w_YY
|-
! /
| '''home/'''
| Nothing.
| guest> links to [//uni.xkcd.com]

user> Same files as C:\

root> Displays 'You are not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.'
|-
! /
| '''opt/'''
| Does nothing.
| None.
|-
! /
| '''sbin/'''
| Does nothing.
| None.
|-
! /
| '''usr/'''
| Opens an infinite sequence of options, each similar to the last, but replacing the previous selection with another folder; probably a reference to the fact that [https://www.tldp.org/LDP/Linux-Filesystem-Hierarchy/html/usr.html the /usr hierarchy] does contain a list of subdirectories pretty much identical [https://www.tldp.org/LDP/Linux-Filesystem-Hierarchy/html/the-root-directory.html to those of the root directory].
|-
! /
| '''dev/'''
| Nothing.
|random/> links to a random xkcd comic.
urandom/> links to [[221: Random Number]]
|}

In an additional fool it introduces the [https://uni.xkcd.com/ Unix XKCD] as a reference to the {{W|Telenet}}. (More on UniXKCD commands can be found [[721:_Flatland#UniXKCD|here]].)

==Transcript==
:[Empty frame with Cueball slightly right of centre.]

:[Caption below the frame:]
:Editor's Note: Today's comic is optimized for local viewing. To see the full version, just save a copy of the image!

{{comic discussion}}



[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:April fools' comics]]

1889: xkcd Phone 6

2017-09-13T21:50:27Z

Aquillion: Mentioning iPhone X's FaceId, which the Shroud of Turin unlock is probably a reference to.

{{comic
| number = 1889
| date = September 13, 2017
| title = xkcd Phone 6
| image = xkcd_phone_6.png
| titletext = We understand your privacy concerns; be assured that our phones will never store or transmit images of your face.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|All features need an explanation, the version number war and title text as well. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This is the sixth entry in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone series]], released the day after Apple announced their new {{w|iPhone 8}} and the higher-end {{w|iPhone X}} with facial recognition features.

===List of features (clockwise from center/top)===

; Front camera (centered for eye contact during video chat)

: Front camera is a common feature of smartphones. The camera lens is located on the same side of the phone's case as the main screen and therefore it is possible to capture the image of the user's face looking at the screen and display the interlocutor's face on the screen simultaneously, enabling video chat. However, as the camera is usually located above the screen, a user looking at the displayed image of the other person directs his or her eyes at the center of the screen and not at the camera's lens. This is very visible on the other end of the chat as if the person talking was looking down and not in the interlocutor's face which is an uncomfortable situation for most people. For this reason, professionals involved in movie or TV-making, like actors or reporters, are trained to look straight into the camera's lens while talking, which creates impression of looking straight at the viewer's face. During a video chat, however, looking into the lens of an above-screen camera does not allow one to see the interlocutor's face clearly because it is then in the peripheral field of vision.

: To solve this conundrum, Randall proposes locating the camera lens right in the middle of the screen. Therefore the user looking at the screen to see the other person's face would be also looking at the lens, creating an impression of a straight look on the other end of the chat. This is absurd since the lens would then take place of some of the center pixels of the screen, not allowing the display the center part of the captured image of the other person's face (like eyes and/or lips) which is most important for nonverbal communication. Such location of the camera lens would also likely interfere with touch-screen function. It will make other applications on the phone difficult to use, since virtually no user interface is designed to accommodate for a blind spot in the center{{Citation needed}}.

; Full-width rear camera

: Phone cameras tend to have lenses which are quite small and round or square -- same width as height. Full-width makes it sound like the camera lens is really wide, as in a long oval or rectangle shape. This generally would not accomplish anything worthwhile, unless it allowed you to take one-shot panorama photos.

; CDC partnership - phone automatically administers seasonal flu vaccine to cheek every year

: U.S. {{w|Centers for Disease Control and Prevention}} is a government agency tasked with addressing public health concerns such as infectious diseases, including seasonal flu. A common way of limiting spread of an infectious disease is {{w|Vaccine|vaccination}}, which most often involves administering a specially prepared medicine via an {{w|intramuscular injection}}. This features implies that the phone would automatically perform such an injection once a year, by shooting a needle out of a small aperture while the user is holding the phone to his or her cheek during a call.

; 12-function

: Most smartphones can be used for more than 12 different things{{Citation needed}}. However, this may refer to the 12 basic functions of calculus (identity, squaring, cubing, square root, logarithm, exponential, reciprocal, sine, cosine, greatest integer, absolute value, and logistic), or the twelve function keys on a modern keyboard (more than the ten on the original IBM PC keyboard).

; Dishwasher safe

: Usually a feature of plastic containers or fancy dishes. Unlikely to appear on a smartphone, though potentially useful if you need to clean your screen.

; GPS transmitter

: Many smartphones have a receiver for the Global Positioning System, which allows a phone to compute its position based on signals from the constellation of GPS satellites. However, a device with a "GPS transmitter" would broadcast signals that would interfere with the GPS receivers of all devices nearby.

; 3-G acceleration

: Usually, a phone is 3g compatible if it uses a certain standard ("third generation") for data transmission. However, 3-G acceleration implies the phone can accelerate at a rate or 3 times the acceleration of gravity, or approximately 30 m/s².

; Portable, solar-heated
: Portability is pretty much the entire point of using a ''mobile'' phone, so advertising portability is rather pointless. Solar ''power'' charging could be a very useful feature on a phone, but solar ''heating'' usually applies to plumbing, where a water tank is heated by the sun and used to supply hot water to taps. Technically, as the sun heats up everything on Earth, the phone is in fact solar heated.

;Pore-cleaning strip

: Something sticky on that location would be very annoying for people trying to use their beards to make a call. See also [[777: Pore Strips]]

; Maximum strength

:Medicines are often sold a "Maximum strength", as in the highest dose allowed by law or allowed without a prescription. For phones, there are sometimes "hardened" or "ruggedized" versions which are designed to survive harsher environmental conditions such as surviving drops and collisions, excessive water and dust, etc. So Maximum strength could indicate a "ruggedized" phone, though a screen that extended past the edges would likely have the opposite effect.

; Never needs sharpening

: Phones do not need to be sharpened in the first place{{Citation needed}}. This is a feature more likely to be found in a knife advertisement (especially for a knife that cannot be sharpened, like a serrated or ceramic blade).

; Can survive up to 30 minutes out of water

: This is a play on the common IP-rating of water resistance, which is typically rated for submersion to a rated depth for 30 minutes. A phone which could only be used or carried for 30 minutes and then needed to be immersed in water would be rather inconvenient.

; Exclusive Audubon Society app identifies birds and lets you control their flight

: {{w|National Audubon Society}} is a non-profit organization dedicated to conservation of nature, mainly of birds, also organizing open {{w|birdwatching}} events. An app that identifies bird species, as for example from a photo of a bird made by the smartphone itself, would be cool. An app allowing you to control the bird's flight would be way cooler, but it is not possible at the current state of technology{{Citation needed}} - and it would fly in the face of the Audubon Society core activity. This is a reference to {{w|Unmanned_aerial_vehicle|drones}} (artificial "birds") which are often controlled by a smartphone app. This may also be a reference to [[1425: Tasks]], in which an app that can recognize if a bird is on camera is proposed.

; Extra screen

:Because of the center camera, an additional section of screen was added. This is similar to the new iPhone, which also has a few extra pixels up there.

; Wireless charging port

:Wireless charging has no wires, and needs no port.

; Safe for ages 6-8 months, 10 months, 18 months-3 years, and 12 years and older

:Usually an item is deemed safe for a particular age or older, or (in the case of toys) is recommended for a particular age range. This is unusual in that it's a hodge-podge of age ranges with no apparent reason why some ages are safe and others are not. It may be a parody of drug commercials that list several age ranges for which the drug had to be separately approved.

; Screen goes past the edge

:A parody of the trend of "edge to edge" displays in recent generations of smartphones

; High thread count CPU

:A CPU thread is a task the CPU performs. Several threads may share memory making them a process. A operating system distributes the CPU's time over all active threads. CPU's don't generally have a limit on the number of threads (some operating systems do), however with a certain number the amount of cycles per thread becomes too low to be of much practical use. This seems to be a joke about bedding, where high thread count is actually a reasonably advertizable statistic.

; Shroud of Turin-style facial transfer unlock

:The {{w|Shroud of Turin}} is claimed to display an image of the face of {{w|Jesus Christ}}, appearing as if it was transferred to the cloth. Presumably, to unlock this phone, the user must press their face against it. This is likely a reference to the iPhone X's FaceId unlock, which uses a ''photograph'' of your face to unlock it and which had attracted [https://www.wired.com/story/iphone-x-faceid-security/ significant criticism] immediately before this comic came out.

; Fonts developed by NASA

: NASA's expertise is not in fonts{{Citation needed}}, and the fonts on almost all modern phones are the same.

; Includes applicator

: What tampon packages often say.

; Burns clean coal

: There is a push for clean energy production as a result of increased awareness of global warming. While it may be useful for a phone to be able to produce its own energy, coal is by definition not a clean energy source because it produces carbon dioxide. The phone is not stated to have a vent for the CO2 to escape, which would technically make the coal "clean" as it is not entering the atmosphere. However, the gas is instead trapped inside the phone, which will quickly ruin it through a combination of heat and pressure.

; Pre-seasoned

:Pre-seasoned typically refers to cast iron cookware which is ready to use out of the box, as opposed to needing to season it with oil and heat. It can also refer to packaged meats which are ready to cook without needing to be seasoned with herbs and spices.

; Broad-spectrum SPF 30

:The xkcd phone somehow gives an SPF 30 level of skin protection from the sun.

; College-ruled

:College-ruled is a style of notebook paper having narrower lines in order to fit more text per page.

; Sterile packaging

:Useful for medical supplies, less so in a phone.

; Radium backlight

:The discovery of the phosphorescent element radium sparked a brief fad in which some watch makers painted watch faces or hands with the substance so the time could be read at night. However, it was eventually realized that regular exposure to radium could result in radiation poisoning, particularly for the workers assembling and painting the watches. A radium-based backlight would therefore be both potentially dangerous (especially for an object carried on one's person much of the time) but also largely useless, as the phosphorescence of radium is rather dim compared to conventional phone back lights.

; 4K pixels (50×80)

:This refers to having 4,000 pixels in the screen in total, rather than a screen width of ~4000 pixels. TV's advertised as "4K" are typically up to 4096 × 2160 pixels, or 8.8 million pixels. That would be outstanding for a cell phone whereas 4,000 pixels total would be horrendous. As a comparison, the old Commodore VIC-20 with a resolution of 176 × 184 would have over 8 times the pixels of this phone. It is however quite close to the screen resolution of the sturdy Nokia 3310, boasting a total of 4032 pixels positioned 84 × 48.

In the caption below the phone [[Randall]] presents many different version numbers:
*The number 6 is in correct order of all the xkcd phones
*The {{w|Roman numerals|roman number}} VIII refers to the newly announced {{w|iPhone 8}} and jokes about the roman number X below
*Version number 10 is the current version of Microsoft Windows after omitting the number 9
*The {{w|iPhone X}} is a phablet announced together with the iPhone 8 by Apple on September 12, 2017, a day before this comic was released
*The number 26 refers to...
*In the year 1876 {{w|Alexander Graham Bell}} received the U.S. Patent No. 174465 for the {{w|invention of the telephone}}, but there is still a {{w|Elisha Gray and Alexander Bell telephone controversy|controversy}} whether {{w|Elisha Gray}} was the first who presented a working telephone.
Below of this numbers Randall states that xkcd isn't responsible for this ''nonconsecutive version number war'', but, as it can be seen here above, he attempts to win. And by counting parallel version numbers xkcd defeated Apple 6:2. The symbols at the end are ™ for trademark, ® for registered trademark, and © for a copyright protection. The degree symbol ° after the letter C could be a play with degree Celsius.

In the title text Randall attributes privacy concerns about the facial recognition feature. A picture of a face will only be used for this new feature but never stored on the device nor transmitted to internet. A ''small'' side effect may be that the famous selfie pictures aren't possible anymore.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[A smartphone is shown, the screen is slightly wider than the case, in the middle is a photo lens, and at the right bottom a small extra part is added to the screen.]
:[On top a bracket ranges nearly over the entire width of the case. The text reads:]
:Full-width rear camera
:[The label at the photo lens is:]
:Front camera (centered for eye contact during video chat)
:[The label on the extra part says:]
:Extra screen
:[At the bottom below the case a label reads:]
:Wireless charging port

:[The labels left to the phone are:]
:4k pixels (50x80)
:Radium backlight
:Sterile packaging
:College-ruled
:Broad spectrum SPF 30
:Pre-seasoned
:Burns clean coal
:Includes applicator
:Fonts developed by NASA
:Shroud of turn-style facial transfer unlock
:High thread count CPU
:Screen goes past the edge
:Safe for ages 6-8 months, 10 months, 18 months-3 years, and 12 years and older

:[The labels right to the phone are:]
:CDC partnership: Phone automatically administers seasonal flu vaccine to cheek every year
:12-function
:Dishwasher safe
:GPS transmitter
:3-G acceleration
:Portable, solar-heated
:Pore-cleaning strip
:Maximum strength
:Never needs sharpening
:Can survive up to 30 minutes out of water
:Exclusive Audubon Society app identifies birds and lets you control their flight

:[Text below the phone:]
:Introducing
:'''The XKCD PHONE 6, VIII, 10, X, 26, and 1876'''
:We didn't start this nonconsecutive version number war, but we will not lose it.™®©°
{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:xkcd Phones]]

1870: Emoji Movie Reviews

2017-08-04T05:49:15Z

Aquillion: /* Explanation */ There actually are a few well-known piracy apps.

{{comic
| number = 1870
| date = July 31, 2017
| title = Emoji Movie Reviews
| image = emoji_movie_reviews.png
| titletext = There's this idea that emoji are bad for communication because they replace ambiguity and nuance with a limited set of preselected emotions, but it doesn't really survive a collision with real-world usage of the thinking face or upside-down smiley.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic discusses reviews of ''{{w|The Emoji Movie}}'' (previously covered in [[1857: Emoji Movie]]) between the cynical, Internet-equipped point of view of Megan and Cueball's language-enthusiasm. They ultimately agree the movie is bad.

''The Emoji Movie'' was released to theaters in late July 2017 and received nearly universally-negative reviews. It is particularly notable for having just a 6% rating on the review aggregator site {{w|Rotten Tomatoes}}. Many critics of movie point to superficial problems like the subject matter and the product placement. Here, that train of thought is articulated a bit more, and ultimately it's argued that the real reason the film is bad is because the creators cashed in on a trend without doing any research into it.

When [[Megan]] first mentions the movie's negative reviews, [[Cueball]] initially accuses the audience of being overly judgmental of the subject matter. He further expresses his fondness for {{w|emoji}} as an interesting and quirky part of language.

Cueball offers an early defense of ''The Emoji Movie'' by comparing it to ''{{w|The Lego Movie}}'', which – despite effectively being an entire movie of {{w|product placement}} for {{w|Lego}} – received generally positive reviews.

They start talking about a "Meh" emoji, who is the main character of the movie. The idea of "{{w|meh}}" as an emoji is actually ambiguous, as various emoji can be used to describe being unimpressed or neutral towards something. As given in examples from comic those are 😒 ({{w|Emoticons (Unicode block)|U+1F612}} Unamused face), 😐 (U+1F610 Neutral face) or 😕 (U+1F615 Confused face). The selection of a less identifiable emoji for the leading role also contrasts with the fact that the movie also features more iconic emojis.

Megan mentions that one of the attempted jokes in the film is a room full of emojis that are unpopular. Bizarrely, the eggplant emoji (🍆, U+1F346 Aubergine) is featured among them. This is a clear sign that the creative team in charge of this movie had limited first-hand experience with SMS messaging; as any frequent user of emoji will tell you, the 🍆 is a sly stand-in for a penis, due to its similar shape. [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/eggplant-emoji-%F0%9F%8D%86] Cueball's reaction is to ask whether the creators of this film might be trying to be controversial on purpose, as it is popular lately (like for example in film {{w|Sausage Party}})

The line from the Wikipedia plot summary was a {{w|Special:Permalink/793251548|direct quote from Wikipedia}}. The sentence was introduced to the article by editor {{w|User:Voicebox64|Voicebox64}} on {{w|Special:Diff/792689187|July 28, 2017}}, and the exact phrasing quoted in the comic came from editor {{w|User:SubZeroSilver|SubZeroSilver}} on {{w|Special:Diff/793088884|July 30}}. Cueball's response to hearing this line, stating that "it's possible this movie is bad", is likely due to the fact that piracy is the act of obtaining media illegally, generally without paying for it over the internet. This means that there is a very low chance of there being a 'piracy app', as an app such as this would not be allowed on any online app store. (A few piracy-focused apps do exist, like {{w|Popcorn Time}}, but they are not available in app stores for obvious reasons.) This plot point is made more ludicrous as there is no hacker emoji, or even an emoji that could be mistaken for one. Jailbreak's design in the movie also does not bear a resemblance to any existing emoji. By contrast, Jailbreak's desire to reach DropBox so she can live 'in the cloud' is relatively reasonable, given that DropBox is a cloud storage service, a service that allows users to upload files to online storage that can be accessed on other internet-enabled devices.

The title text is an argument against the common prediction that emojis would lead to less nuanced communication, and as evidence it cites the thinking face emoji (🤔) and upside-down smiley (🙃), both of which are used in ways that have developed difficult-to-define nuances and meanings. In the first case, the thinking-face emoji is often used sarcastically -- for example, feigning confusion when presented with contradictory/hypocritical statements from the same source. The upside-down smiley also has specific usage, indicating a tone of silliness or even insanity, and is also often used sarcastically, such as when reacting to bad news.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are walking. Megan is checking her phone.]
:Megan: Reviews for The Emoji Movie are... not good.
:Cueball: People are just snobs about emoji. I like them! Language is cool and weird.

:[Zoom on Megan; Cueball is outside of the frame.]
:Megan: It's apparently 80% product placement.
:Cueball (off-screen): Whatever. So was The Lego Movie, and I liked ''that''.

:[Zoom out; Cueball looks at Megan's phone.]
:Megan: It features the emoji we all know and love - with a "Meh" emoji in the starring role!
:Cueball: Wait... a "Meh" emoji?
:Megan: I wondered about that, too; the others are all familiar. Do they mean 😒? Or 😐 or 😕?
:Cueball: That's a little confusing...

:[Zoom in on both heads; Megan is looking at her phone.]
:Megan: There's a joke in the movie about the "emoji that no one uses" that includes the eggplant emoji.
:Cueball: ...was that on purpose? Or did they not run the script by enough people?

:[Megan and Cueball continue walking.]
:Megan: Here's a line from the Wikipedia plot summary:
:Megan: ''Gene and Hi-5 come to a piracy app where they meet the hacker emoji Jailbreak, who wants to reach Dropbox so that she can live in the cloud.''
:Cueball: Okay.
:Cueball: It's possible this movie is bad.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Emoji]]