explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

3154: Physics Insight

2025-10-14T13:50:10Z

Black Hat's Hat: Transcript is complete

{{comic
| number = 3154
| date = October 13, 2025
| title = Physics Insight
| image = physics_insight_2x.png
| imagesize = 302x351px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = When Galileo dropped two weights from the Leaning Tower of Pisa, they put him in the history books. But when I do it, I get 'detained by security' for 'injuring several tourists.'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was invented by a BOT WHO DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
[[Cueball]] complains that the same proposal related to the physics concept of {{w|spacetime}} is treated very differently when made by him, compared to when made by {{w|Albert Einstein}}, a famous physicist. [[White Hat]] agrees, using the standard shorthand for this sort of inconsistency: "double standard" (two different standards of expectations or treatment, used each applied to a different person or group). The joke is that there are good reasons for the difference in experiences:

*Cueball's idea is not impressive to others because they already knew about it due to the work of Einstein and the wider science community since then.
*Even if two people discover something with the same level of insight and effort, society accords far more prestige to the first acknowledged discoverer, for solving a problem or revealing new possibilities. Early discoverers or prior contributors may be overlooked in unfair ways, and may have grounds to complain about a double standard. Since Cueball is saying this at a time when the finding has already become part of an undergraduate curriculum, this does not apply to him.
*Once an idea has been popularized, it becomes easier to accidentally rediscover. Cueball might have never been taught about Einstein's finding directly, but has probably heard of physics concepts that derive from it. Rediscovering a model for associating time and space is easier for someone raised with the concept of spacetime.
*The concept may have been taught to Cueball, who might have forgotten or not paid attention, and then later found the "discovery" much easier thanks to subconscious memories.
*Cueball might even have consciously learned the concept from others, but believes that the accordance of "genius" status to Einstein came from Einstein's merely describing the concept, as opposed to being a recognition of the long work of developing the concept independently.

The comic might be making fun of people whom [[Randall]] views as having similar misconceptions.

The title text continues the joke, but this time (re)creating {{w|Galileo_Galilei|Galileo}}'s demonstration of {{w|Galileo%27s_Leaning_Tower_of_Pisa_experiment|acceleration under gravity}} involving dropping different objects off the top of the {{w|Leaning Tower of Pisa}}. (Unlike the speaker, Galileo likely never actually carried out the experiment for real.) In this case the speaker was detained because the area below the tower was busy with tourists, a number of whom were hit and injured by the objects dropped.

==Transcript==

:[Cueball is talking to White Hat, arms outstretched.]
:Cueball: Sure, when '''''Einstein''''' suggests using the Lorentz transform to explain the connection between velocity and time, people call him a genius.
:Cueball: But when '''''I''''' suggest it, it's "basic physics" and "undergraduate stuff."
:White Hat: Such a double standard!

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Physics]]

3151: Window Screen

2025-10-09T13:59:15Z

Black Hat's Hat: Seems pretty complete to me

{{comic
| number = 3151
| date = October 6, 2025
| title = Window Screen
| image = window_screen.png
| titletext = The Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine or Home Improvement or DIY
}}

==Explanation==

[[Cueball]] believes he should receive a {{w|Nobel Prize}} for creating a custom screen for a particularly troublesome window, due to what he considers to be the immense amount of work and consideration that went into it and the high quality of the result. He is writing to the {{w|Nobel Foundation}} to nominate himself. The Foundation administers the five Nobel Prizes that Cueball lists, which were established by {{w|Alfred Nobel}} and first awarded in 1901, as well as a sixth, in {{w|Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences|economics}}, which was established by the {{w|Sveriges Riksbank|central bank of Sweden}} and first awarded in 1969. The Foundation does not currently accept self-nominations, or nominations from anyone not [https://www.nobelprize.org/nomination/peace/#h-qualified-nominators appropriately qualified].

A {{w|window screen}} is most often used to block insects, other small animals, and debris from passing through an open window, while allowing it to provide both ventilation and light. One can also make a light, half-printed mesh that attaches to the outside of the glass to display an outward-facing image, without overly spoiling the view from the inside, or a more dense one to neutrally shade the incoming light, still without significantly obscuring it. Most windows are flat and rectangular, and pre-made meshes for these can be measured and cut with basic tools. Some windows have complex shapes. It can be very difficult to design a screen that neatly matches a complex glass surface.

An {{w|Angle#Types_of_angles|oblique angle}} is any angle that is not a multiple of 90° (not a right or straight angle). While right angles allow for intuitive mapping of sides to an X-Y coordinate plane, acute or obtuse angles indicate that at least one side will have endpoints that differ in both coordinates. This requires extra calculations.

Curved edges require extra care to measure and cut. Circular or semi-circular windows follow a constant curve that can be traced with limited effort, but the window in the comic is irregular.

{{w|Coplanarity|Noncoplanarity}} is a state where all elements of a system cannot be represented on the same plane. This implies that the window is not flat, suggesting that the glass is curved, and/or that the wall that surrounds the screen is not flat. The shape in the comic could possibly occur if the room featured in the first and third panels was at least partly conical, with the window narrowing to match the wall sloping inward to a central point above (this would also fit the earlier mention of multiple curved edges). The glass could also be shaped into an outward bubble. Either way, the mesh must be carefully shaped. Thankfully for the project, the shape appears to be a {{w|developable surface}} - one that can be flattened onto a plane without distortion - saving further complication of the work to be done.

Perfectly fitting a custom screen to such a window may be a significant technical accomplishment that the builder may wish to share with acquaintances. However, it is generally not considered near the level of one of the world's most prestigious awards,{{Citation needed}} which often recognize years of effort, rather than something that Cueball did between the "this weekend" and the present (at most one week).

Since no Nobel Prize currently exists that would cover recognition of Cueball's achievement, the title text suggests extending the existing prize in "physiology or medicine" to also potentially cover "home improvement or DIY". {{w|Do it yourself}} (DIY) refers to work done by a non-specialist that alternatively could be done by a paid professional, and is often used for household repair or construction such as Cueball's screen project. [[Randall]] likely chose this original prize category because it is already anomalous in containing 'or' in its title, while the other prizes have only a single-word description of endeavor. The necessity to distinguish {{w|home improvement}} from DIY by specifying both options seems somewhat more redundant than that between {{w|physiology}} (understanding how organisms normally operate) and {{w|medicine}} (understanding how to treat unhealthy ones).

The comic's release coincided with the [https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/medicine/2025/press-release/ announcement] of the {{w|2025 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine}}.

==Trivia==
At the time this comic was released, there was a technical error making it too large to fit into the page on normal desktop/laptop screens. Since [[1084: Server Problem#Trivia|1084: Server Problem]], two versions of each comic are usually available: normal (1x) and high-resolution (2x). This makes the comic look sharp even on high-DPI screens, such as phones, tablets, and some more expensive computer displays. In this case, however, the 2x version was accidentally uploaded as ''both'' versions, making the 1x comic twice as large as it should be. It is possible that Randall did this intentionally as an added punchline.

Users with this issue can zoom in with their browsers (Ctrl+mouse scroll up) to see the comic better. If the screen is large enough, you might consider always reading xkcd on 200% zoom to see the higher resolution comics.

This issue was fixed at some point between 14:57 and 15:54, 7 October 2025 (UTC).

==Transcript==

:[The text for the first panel appears above the panel itself.]
:This weekend,
:I had to make an oversized screen for a porch window.
:[Cueball is looking out through a window with a straight bottom, slanting sides and a curved upper edge.]

:[In each of the remaining panels, the text appears within the panel but above the illustration.]
:[Cueball is shown pondering various problems involving geometry, engineering, and angles. There is occasionally text around them, which is illegible.]

:It involved countless tiny problems, each somehow way harder than it should be.
:Oblique angles. Curved edges. Noncoplanarity.

:[Cueball with hair, looking at the same window covered by a bordered mesh.]

:... I solved them all.
:I measured precisely. I did trigonometry. I made custom parts.
:And it fit '''''perfectly.'''''
:No gaps, no ripples.

:[Cueball is revealed to be sitting at a computer, typing a message. He still has hair.]
:I know that your foundation normally limits its purview to physics, medicine, peace, chemistry and literature.
:However, if you review the attached photo showing how well the screen fits into the...

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

3043: Muons

2025-10-09T13:49:09Z

Black Hat's Hat: That's a good transcript. deleted incomplete tag

{{comic
| number = 3043
| date = January 27, 2025
| title = Muons
| image = muons_2x.png
| imagesize = 284x388px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Update: I've been banned from the physics department for the way I pronounce "Doppler effect."
}}

==Explanation==
This is another one of [[Randall|Randall's]] [[:Category: Tips|Tips]], this time a Physics tip.

{{w|Muon|Muons}} are elementary sub-atomic particles, often released in {{w|air shower (physics)|air showers}} from high-energy {{w|cosmic ray}} protons causing nuclear decay in our upper atmosphere. These protons come from all over the universe from various interstellar events and have energies in excess of anything our species has created. Some of the muons created in these collisions are deflected away from us and decay quickly in the upper atmosphere. Other muons retain the high energy of the colliding protons and travel so fast that they emit {{w|Cherenkov radiation}} from outpacing photons in air, which is used to visualize air showers with telescopes. Muons usually decay very quickly, but because, in part, of {{w|time dilation}} these high-energy muons are able to penetrate densely deep into the earth. They are also used as a natural radiation source, more powerful than x-rays, for internal imaging, especially of large opaque structures.

Time dilation is the concept from {{w|special relativity}} where faster-moving objects travel through time faster than proportional, resulting in an appearance to an observer of it slowing down for them, as well as an ability to cross greater distances. Because the ‘regular speed’ muons are moving at a relatively normal speed, Cueball pronounces it properly, but because time slows down for the faster moving muons, Cueball adjusts this, and pronounces it much slower, as if he is being slowed down from talking about them.

Cueball is implying that when he says "muons", he is speaking in the same reference frame as them, with time traveling at the same speed for the listener and for the muon. In the same reference frame, muons decay very quickly. He implies that when he says "muuuoooons" very slowly, that he is now speaking in a reference frame where the muons have time dilated relative to the observer and appear to be aging very very slowly. If a relativistic muon were saying its own name, or if Cueball were in the same reference frame as the muon and the observer were not, (and there were a way to transmit sound at relativistic speeds), then the muon might sound like this, stretched out. This is the kind of reference frame in which muons are detected at the surface. We observe them, and we observe that time is passing slower for them than it is for us.

On average, a stationary muon decays after a bit over {{w|Muon#Muon_Decay|two microseconds}}. While moving at {{w|Muon#Muon Decay|99.97% of the speed of light}}, their lifespan (from our perspective) stretches to nearly ninety microseconds (a {{w|Lorentz factor}} of ~40.8). If Cueball speaks at four syllables per second (a typical {{w|Speech tempo|speech tempo}} for English), it will take him about half of a second to name the "muons" created in the upper atmosphere; it will take him more than twenty seconds to name the fast-moving "muuuuuoooons."

The title text references the {{w|Doppler effect}}, the change in frequency of a wave when the observer is moving relative to the source. One common example of this is how the sound to a stationary observer of a fast car or airplane starts at a high pitched note but then drops to a low droning noise as it passes. By analogy with the time dilation example, Cueball likely imitates this change in pitch and speed of syllables whenever pronouncing the phrase "Doppler effect" ('Dop-llllerrrr eehfffffeeeehccccctttth'). Languages in Randall's native language family do not represent different words or sounds with different pitches, so speaking "Doppler effect" with the timing and pitch changes of a real doppler effect of a fast-moving object passing a listener, would at least be understood, although could be quite jarring and distracting to hear conversationally. Alternatively, he may be stretching out the "p" sound by saying "p-p-p-p", producing a spitting or {{w|Blowing a raspberry|"raspberry"}} sound, which would be highly offensive.{{cn}} For more on Doppler effect, see [[1531: The BDLPSWDKS Effect]].

==Transcript==

:[Cueball is standing in front of a whiteboard, which contains a diagram depicting a muon passing through the atmosphere, a distance labeled with a cursive letter, the equation for the Lorentz factor, and some illegible text. He's facing away from the whiteboard and holding a pointer that points towards the diagram.]
:Cueball: ''Muons'' created in the upper atmosphere decay immediately, but fast moving ''muuuuuoooons'' are able to reach the surface due to their longer half-lives.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Physics tip: Remember to adjust your pronunciations to account for time dilation.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Tips]]
[[Category:Banned from conferences]]

2954: Bracket Symbols

2025-10-09T13:44:11Z

Black Hat's Hat: Made the transcript a lot more clear

{{comic
| number = 2954
| date = July 3, 2024
| title = Bracket Symbols
| image = bracket_symbols_2x.png
| imagesize = 592x569px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = ’"‘”’" means "I edited this text on both my phone and my laptop before sending it"
}}

==Explanation==
Brackets, also called parentheses, are typographical symbols used to delimit a section of text. Unlike most typographical symbols, brackets usually come in pairs, and the end bracket is typically the mirror image of the start bracket.

This comic shows a variety of (mostly) real bracket symbols, along with Randall's description.

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|+Descriptions
|-
! Symbols
! Comic text
! Real use
! Explanation of the joke
|-
!( )
|Regular parentheses for setting stuff aside
|Ordinary curved brackets, or parentheses, are the most commonly used in literature. They typically denote remarks that are relevant to, but not part of, a sentence (for example, a clarifying explanation). In stage plays, teleplays and screenplays, they can indicate stage directions. They are also frequently used in mathematical expressions and programming languages to force a particular order of evaluation.
|Randall explains, accurately, that these are regular parentheses. No joke yet.
|-
![ ]
|Square brackets (more secure)
|In literature, square brackets often denote meta-textual information, such as {{w|Gloss (annotation)|glosses}}, omissions for brevity, editorial comments or translation-related notes. In mathematics, they are often used for {{w|Matrix (mathematics)|matrices}} or {{w|Interval (mathematics)|closed intervals}}. Sometimes they are used as outer parentheses for easier visual matching in complicated expressions. In programming languages, square brackets are commonly used as the indexing operator, with the index being placed inside the brackets. They may also be used to denote specific data structures such as arrays or lists. In language definition syntaxes such as {{w|Extended Backus–Naur form}}, square brackets indicate something optional.
|The straight edges and sharper corners make these brackets resemble a solid box, presumably made of a hard material, which would be a more secure container than the "soft"-looking curved brackets. They also resemble staples, which are used to hold things in place securely. This may also be a pun on "open" and "closed" intervals, with the joke being that a "closed" interval is more secure than an "open" one, since it is harder for things to leave a closed container without your consent.
|-
!{ }
|This stuff is expensive so be careful with it
|Known as "curly brackets" or "braces". Rarely used in normal text, although may be used in expanded form to 'enclose' multiple optional lines following/preceding a single element of common purpose (similar to the 'split and recombined tracks' of [[2243: Star Wars Spoiler Generator]]). In mathematics, usually used to denote {{w|Set (mathematics)|sets}}, but other usage is possible. In programming languages they are popularly used to denote the start and end of a block of code, to the point that there is an entire group of languages informally known as '{{w|List of programming languages by type#Curly-bracket languages|curly-bracket languages}}'. In language definition syntaxes, curly brackets often denote that an expression can be repeated multiple times.
|Curly brackets look fancy, like gates with ornate ironwork. Randall implies a world where expensive stuff is set aside using the fanciest brackets available. Writing them by hand is also more complicated than regular or square brackets (in a way making them slightly more time consuming/expensive).
|-
!<span style="display:inline-block; transform:scaleX(-1);">‶</span> ‶
|Someone is talking
|Used to denote speech or citations in normal text. There are various styles from the identical pairing " " to the 66-and-99-like “ ” which differentiates opening and closing quotes. The comic appears to use a handwriting-only slope-variation.
The straight (ASCII) style is commonly used in programming languages to denote text that is data, rather than code, such as literal messages intended to be displayed to the user.

Word processors commonly implement “smart quotes” by detecting the use of the single-type keyboard character at each end of a possible quote and converting it into the fancier left/right versions (though this is not always desired, leading to the default behaviour being disabled or reverted).
|Typical form of quotation marks. Quotation marks are most often used in literature to mark dialogue (words said by characters talking) as opposed to descriptions or narrative. Some languages or communities use different typographical conventions such as „German quotation marks“. See also below for British and French conventions.
|-
!<span style="display:inline-block; transform:scaleX(-1);">‵</span> ‵
|Someone British is talking
|[https://www.grammarly.com/blog/single-vs-double-quotes/ Allegedly 'British quotation marks'], although this may be disputed by actual Brits who were taught otherwise. Single quotes might be more often used as '{{w|scare quotes}}' or a related form of '<em>emphasis</em>' marker. One possible distinction is that single-quotes give non-literal paraphrasing, wherever double-quotes are used for the verbatim reporting of words (spoken or written).

In programming languages single quotes are used for diverse purposes. In C and Pascal families they are used to delimit single characters as opposed to strings of characters, which use double quotes. In many scripting languages like Unix shells, Perl, Python, JavaScript and others single quotes are used for strings as an alternative for double quotes, in some cases with different rules for interpreting the contents of such string. In Visual Basic single quotes (unpaired) are used to mark comments. There are other uses, depending on the language.

As with the double quotes above, the comic versions appear to be handwriting-specific, with no easy-to-use equivalents in commonly used computer fonts.
|Alternative form of quotation marks. Some British media use these to mark dialogue, for historic reasons, though in modern usage the double quotes may be more common [https://www.sussex.ac.uk/informatics/punctuation/quotes/marks and acceptable].

Single quotes within double quotes (and/or double quotes within single, as necessary) can also be used to more clearly indicate reported words as part of an outer quote, i.e. when you're quoting one person and their statement contains a quote of someone else. The main quotation would be surrounded with double quotes, while the nested quotation is delimited with single quotes (or vice-versa, depending upon the house style in use). This may even be further alternated to arbitrary depth!
|-
!‹ ›
|An Animorph is talking
|{{w|Bracket#Angle_brackets|Angle brackets}}. Aside from telepathic speech in prose, it's often used in comics to indicate that a character is speaking a foreign language that has been translated for the reader's benefit – at least notionally. A form of angle brackets (in reality, using the more available {{w|less-than sign}} and {{w|greater-than sign}}, i.e. <> rather than ‹›) are heavily used in {{w|HTML}} to indicate markup tags that define how the source of websites intends to convey various stylistic and/or semantic distinctions.
|Books like the series {{w|Animorphs}} or science fiction novels use these when a character is communicating nonverbally, for example via telepathy. In the ''Animorphs'' series, this is called [https://animorphs.fandom.com/wiki/Thought-speak thought-speak], or sometimes "thought speech".
|-
!« »
|A French Animorph is talking
|French quotation marks. Used for quotes within quotes in some languages. For quoting conventions in different languages, see [https://op.europa.eu/en/web/eu-vocabularies/formex/physical-specifications/character-encoding/use-of-quotation-marks-in-the-different-languages this document].
|These symbols are called "guillemets" (ghee-ya-may) and are used in French texts as the first-level quotes. Here Randall is mixing the SF convention described above with actual French use.
|-
!<nowiki>|</nowiki> |
|I'm scared of negative numbers but these sigils will protect me
|Vertical bars in mathematics are used for the {{w|Absolute value}} function.
|The absolute value of a number is its value with all negative and positive signs stripped off; in practical terms this is used to ensure a given value is positive (ex. <nowiki>|-10| = 10</nowiki>). If for whatever reason you need to "protect" your equations from negative numbers (which does come up in programming from time to time) the absolute value function has you covered — though it may not always be denoted with vertical bars. {{w|Sigil}}s are symbols used in magic, often for protection from evil.
|-
!* * _ _ / /
|I have a favorite monospaced font
|These symbols are conventionally used in text-based computer communications (such as emails, chats, Usenet News articles) to denote *bold*, _underlined_ or /italic/ font; some client programs interpret them and display actual bold text etc.
|The kind of person who uses these symbols is the kind of person who uses a {{w|terminal emulator}}, which allows users to select one's favorite (preferably monospace) font. A {{w|Monospace font}} is a font (set of shapes used for letters, numbers and symbols) in which every character has the same width, unlike a {{w|Typeface#Proportional_font|variable-width (proportional) font}}, in which, for example, the letter I is much narrower than W. While a proportional font is more pleasant to read,{{citation needed}} monospace is easier to represent in simple mechanical or electronic devices, and has been used almost exclusively in the advent of computer technology, specifically in text-only environments such as {{w|computer terminals}}; these most often had only one bare-bones font that did not provide separate glyphs for different styles of character (weight, slant) or the ability to superimpose characters (directly adding underlines).
|-
!~~
|I'm being sarcastic and I had a Tumblr account in 2014
|Used in the [https://www.markdownguide.org/extended-syntax/#strikethrough markdown specification] to denote text with a horizontal line through it, known as "strikethrough". Used by most places that implement the markdown spec, such as Discord, Reddit, most wikis, Github and Tumblr.
|Strikethrough markup can be found on sites like Tumblr, Reddit or Discord to indicate that you didn't really mean something you said, and such usage peaked in the mid-2010s. This could also reference the trend of putting tildes after words or sentences to indicate the words are being said in a lilting or sing-song manner, or to indicate it is being said in a cute, nice, seductive timbre or as a particular part of a subcultural reference, e.g. in {{w|Furry fandom}}. Applied to a chosen username, it may be made to make it stand out, or else add sufficiently uniqueness despite the core name being likely to be in common use.
|-
![([{()}],)]
|These Python functions are not getting along
|The square brackets denote a mutable [https://docs.python.org/3/tutorial/introduction.html#lists list], the round brackets an immutable [https://docs.python.org/3/tutorial/datastructures.html#tuples-and-sequences tuple] , and the curly brackets a [https://docs.python.org/3/tutorial/datastructures.html#sets set]. It is valid to have them nested like this. [] could also be a slice (a bit of a list or tuple) and {} could be a [https://docs.python.org/3/tutorial/datastructures.html#dictionaries dictionary], but the syntax is wrong for these.
|Passing the output from one function to the input of another will sometimes require putting it in a container or changing what type of container it is in. This is an extreme and unrealistic example where the next function might need the data put into a very complex structure. This may be an example of spaghetti code - code that is badly maintained or written in programming languages including Python will often be badly organized creating a mess of indentations and brackets.
|-
!⌊ ⌋
|Help, I'm a mathematician trying to work with actual numbers and they're scary
|Mathematical symbols meaning "floor" (i.e., round down to the nearest lower integer).
|Mathematicians stereotypically prefer to work with abstract symbols and concepts rather than numbers or indeed anything that might pertain to the real world. When presented with an "actual" ({{w|real number|real}}) number, it is possible that a mathematician may wish for it to be rounded to the nearest integer to make it simpler, or handle it using {{w|number theory}}.
|-
!∫  <span style="display:inline-block; transform:scaleX(-1);">∫</span>
|Why are you trying to read my violin?
|This is a joke item created by Randall; these symbols are not used as brackets.

∫ looks like the {{w|Integral symbol}} which itself is derived from a {{w|Long s}}. In mathematics it is usually paired with the differential of the variable of integration (e.g., dx). The symbol also looks like a lowercase {{w|Esh (letter)|esh}} (ʃ), used in phonetic transcription. There is no unicode symbol for a reversed integral (we have displayed it here as a reversed ∫) and it does not appear in Western mathematics typesetting — though it does appear in mathematical texts written in Arabic, along with other symbols likewise adapted to Arabic's right-to-left writing direction. The esh symbol has a reversed counterpart in Unicode, but it's quite a bit shorter (ʅ).
|Violins are known for their characteristic {{w|F-hole}}s.<br> This symbol also resembles the top halves of a pair of curly braces (⎰ and ⎱).
|-
!<nowiki>| ⟩</nowiki>
|Don't stop here–this is quantum country
|This {{w|Bra–ket notation|notation is used in quantum mechanics}} to notate a vector. This is called a ket, and the mirrored sign <nowiki>⟨|</nowiki> is called a bra. Combining them as bra-ket gives the inner product <nowiki>⟨|⟩</nowiki>.
| This is paraphrasing the movie ''{{w|Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (film)|Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas}}'', where {{w|Johnny Depp}}'s character Raoul Duke says "We can't stop here, this is bat country!" while hallucinating violently on drugs, though not as violently as later in the movie. The parentheses also resemble a directional road sign, perhaps indicating the way out of "quantum country".
|}


The title text includes different kinds of quotes, including the ASCII " and ' as well as the Unicode “ and ” (which have both an opening and closing version).
By default, iOS uses the latter curly quotes, while Windows uses the former straight quotes (an OS-level application of the “smart quotes” described above). Editing the same text on both an iPhone and a Windows computer, in circumstances with a different approach to such general auto-replacement, can leave both types of quotes in the text.

Parentheses are a running joke on XKCD. Previous parenthetical comics include:
* [[297: Lisp Cycles]] - referencing the Lisp programming language's use of parentheses
* [[312: With Apologies to Robert Frost]] - the punchline is a close parenthesis
* [[541: TED Talk]] - about ending parenthetical statements with emoticons
* [[859: (]] - which has an open parenthesis with none to close it
* [[1052: Every Major's Terrible]] - making fun of Computer Science as a major for its tedious use of matching parentheses

==Transcript==

[top text]
:Bracket Symbols
:and what they mean

[List of symbols and meanings split into two vertical colomns]

[Left Colomn Top]

:[Symbol] ( ) [Meaning] Regular parentheses for setting stuff aside

:[Symbol] [ ] [Meaning] Square brackets (more secure)

:[Symbol] { } [Meaning] This stuff is expensive so be careful with it

:[Symbol] " " [Meaning] Someone is talking

:[Symbol] ' ' [Meaning] Someone British is talking

:[Symbol] ‹ › [Meaning] An Animorph is talking

:[Symbol] « » [Meaning] A French Animorph is talking

[Left Colomn Bottom]

[Right Colomn Top]

:[Symbol] | | [Meaning] I'm scared of negative numbers but these sigils will protect me

:[Symbol] <nowiki>*</nowiki> * _ _ / / [Meaning] I have a favorite monospaced font

:[Symbol] ~ ~ [Meaning] I'm being sarcastic and I had a Tumblr account in 2014

:[Symbol] [ ( [ { ( ) } ] , ) ] [Meaning] These Python functions are '''''not''''' getting along

:[Symbol] ⌊ ⌋ [Meaning] Help, I'm a mathematician trying to work with actual numbers and they're scary

:[Symbol] ⎰⎱ [Meaning] Why are you trying to read my violin?

:[Symbol] | ⟩ [Meaning] Don't stop here--this is quantum country

[Right Colomn Bottom]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Animorphs]]

1555: Exoplanet Names 2

2025-10-09T04:01:49Z

Black Hat's Hat: Redid the transcript. Pretty easy after finishing Exoplanet Names #1

{{comic
| number = 1555
| date = July 24, 2015
| title = Exoplanet Names 2
| image = exoplanet_names_2.png
| titletext = I'm going to drive this Netherlands joke so far into the ground they'll have to build levees around it to keep the sea out.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a continuation of [[1253: Exoplanet Names]], and was published the day after NASA announced the discovery of a number of planets, including a planet called a cousin to Earth, {{w|Kepler-452b}}. [[Black Hat]] proposes naming it {{w|Pluto}}, both to commemorate the flyby of the {{w|dwarf planet}} of that name by NASA's {{w|New Horizons}} earlier the same month, but also to end the discussion about the status of Pluto, which is subject to debate among both scientists and laypeople over whether-or-not it should be considered a planet. Pluto was considered a planet for a long period of time until, in 2006, the {{w|International Astronomical Union}} (IAU) created a new definition for the word 'planet' designed to exclude Pluto and similar objects, resulting in much debate (The IAU is the organization that takes responsibility for naming celestial bodies like planets, stars, and much more).

It may appear that, with Black Hat's suggestion, the answer to the question "is Pluto a planet?" will therefore always be "yes", regardless of the status of the Pluto in our Solar System according to the IAU. However the same [https://www.iau.org/news/pressreleases/detail/iau0603/ IAU official definition] that excludes Pluto also states that a 'planet' has to orbit our sun, so according to the IAU, nothing in this comic is a planet (the IAU definition only allows them to be {{w|exoplanets}}, which, like dwarf planets, are not planets). Hence, the debate indeed becomes 'a little more confusing'. This is in line with Black Hat's characterization as a mischief-maker.

The title text is referring to the planet name entry ''Netherlands VI'' for the star ''EPIC 201912552''. Randall continues his references to the Netherlands taking over the Earth, Mars, and Pluto after Earth's oceans have been transferred to Mars. The joke started in two consecutive ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' articles, {{what if|53|Drain the Oceans}} and {{what if|54|Drain the Oceans: Part II}}, and it was referenced again in {{what if|57|Dropping a Mountain}} and in [[1551: Pluto]] a week before this comic came out. {{w|New Netherland}} was actually a Dutch colony with {{w|New York City}}, formerly known as {{w|New Amsterdam}}, as its capital. In the title text Randall mentions he will continue with this joke driving it so far into the ground (meaning way beyond the point where it stops being funny) that the Dutch will have to build {{w|levee}}s around it to keep the sea out.

===Table===
This table explains each entry in the comic table. The "Status" column refers to the comic [[1253: Exoplanet Names]] and indicates if the entry was already in the older comic (Old), if it has been updated (Update), or if it's a new addition (New).

{| class="wikitable sortable"
! scope="col" | Star
! scope="col" | Planet
! scope="col" | Status
! scope="col" | Suggested Name
! scope="col" | Explanation
|-
| rowspan=7 | {{w|Gliese 667}}
| {{w|Gliese 667 Cb|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| {{w|Space Planet}}
| A very unimaginative name, since every planet is in space.{{Citation needed}}
|-
|{{w|Gliese 667 Cc|c}}
| {{No|Old}}
| PILF
| Pun of {{w|MILF pornography|MILF}}, i.e. ''Planet I'd Like to Fuck''. Planet c is a relatively hot planet, within the habitable zone.
|-
|{{w|Gliese 667 Cd|d}}
| {{No|Old}}
| A Star
| "A {{w|Star}}" is obviously a bad name for a planet. A* (pronounced "A star") is already used in astronomy, for example the Milky Way's black hole core is {{w|Sagittarius A*}}. "A star" is also the name for the character {{w|asterisk}} and the name of the popular {{w|A* search algorithm}} in computer science.
|-
|{{w|Gliese 667 Ce|e}}
| {{No|Old}}
| e'); DROP TABLE PLANETS;--
| [[Mrs. Roberts]] is probably trying to use {{w|SQL injection}} like in [[327: Exploits of a Mom]], in which her son [[Little Bobby Tables|Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--]] caused the school a lot of trouble when his name was put in. The idea here is that the {{w|IAU}} would enter the name into their system and promptly lose all of their data pertaining to planets. Note that Planet e is located in the habitable zone of the star system.
|-
|{{w|Gliese 667 Cf|f}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Blogosphere
| rowspan = 2 | Weird ''{{w|blog}}''-related terms are a recurring theme in xkcd. See, for instance, [[181|comic 181]].
|-
|{{w|Gliese 667 Cg|g}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Blogodrome
|-
|[http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_667c_h/ h]
| {{No|Old}}
| {{w|Earth}}
| Planet candidate h is about the mass of the Earth, and described as "tantalizing": [https://www.aanda.org/articles/aa/abs/2013/08/aa21331-13/aa21331-13.html A dynamically-packed planetary system around GJ with three super-Earths in its habitable zone]. See also ([[1231: Habitable Zone]]). Like several other names below, naming a second planet Earth would be highly confusing.
|-
| rowspan=5 | {{w|Tau Ceti}}
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/tau_cet_b/ b]
| {{No|Old}}
| Sid Meier's Tau Ceti B
| This refers to the game {{w|Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri}}.
|-
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/tau_cet_c/ c]
| {{No|Old}}
| Giant Dog Planet
| {{w|VY Canis Majoris}} is one of the largest known stars at our galaxy and belongs to the constellation {{w|Canis Major}}, Latin for "greater dog". The constellation further contains {{w|Sirius}}, the brightest star in the night sky, also called "Dog Star".
|-
|[http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/tau_cet_d/ d]
| {{No|Old}}
| Tiny Dog Planet
| cf. {{w|Canis Minor}}, Latin for "lesser dog", another constellation.
|-
|{{w|Tau Ceti e|e}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Phil Plainet
| A reference to {{w|Phil Plait}}, a.k.a. The Bad Astronomer.
|-
|{{w|Tau Ceti f|f}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Unicode Snowman
| The Unicode character <span style="font-size: 200%">☃</span> may be a reference to the planet's estimated surface temperature of -40 °C (-40 °F). However, this name would be pronounced differently (being a symbol, not a word or name) in different languages. Planets in our solar system are assigned to {{w|Astronomical symbols|astronomical symbols}} like <span style="font-size:150%">♁</span> for Venus or <span style="font-size:150%">♂</span> for Mars.
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Gliese 832}}
| {{w|Gliese 832 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Asshole Jupiter
| This massive planet orbits a {{w|red dwarf}} star at the longest known period of 3416 days at this category. Many exoplanets are described as "Hot Jupiters" because they are high-temperature gas giants; if one were to read "hot" as a description of attractiveness rather than temperature, one might generate names like this one.
|-
| {{w|Gliese 832 c|c}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Waterworld}} starring Kevin Costner
| [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114898/ Waterworld] is a 1995 film starring Kevin Costner about Earth almost completely covered in water. The surname was previously spelled incorrectly with a 'K'.
|-
| rowspan=6 | {{w|Gliese 581}}
| {{w|Gliese 581 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Waist-deep {{w|Cats}}
| {{w|Waist Deep}} is an action film from 2006, and the {{w|Lolcat}} meme does not need explaining. The name may also simply be a reference to being "waist-deep" in (i.e. surrounded by many) cats.
|-
| {{w|Gliese|c}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Planet #14
| About 200th discovered exoplanet (in 2007); reported to be the first potentially Earth-like planet in the habitable zone of its star, though that is in doubt now. The joke might be that like "Space Planet", "Planet #14" is a generic and unoriginal name, although it could plausibly be a reference to [https://tardis.fandom.com/wiki/Planet_14 Planet 14], a potential homeworld of the Cybermen in the long-running science-fiction series ''Doctor Who''. Also of note is that this is the 15th entry in the original table so the numbering is {{w|Zero-based numbering|zero-based}}.
An interesting (?) coincidence is that the 14th and 15th {{w|Definition of planet#Minor planets|Minor planets}} (then called asteroids) were discovered in 1851; see see {{w|List of minor planets: 1–1000}}. If they were to be counted among the planets of the {{w|Solar System}}, as was sometimes done then, the 14th known planetary body would be {{w| 7 Iris|Iris}} (discovered in 1847, a year before {{w|Neptune}}).
|-
|{{w|Gliese 581 d|d}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Ballderaan
| A {{w|wikt:balls|crude pun}} on the planet {{w|Alderaan}} from the ''{{w|Star Wars}}'' universe.
|-
|{{w|Gliese 581 e|e}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Eternia Prime
| {{w|Eternia}} is a fictional planet, venue of the ''{{w|Masters of the Universe}}'' animated series and toy collection.
|-
| {{w|Gliese 581 f|f}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Taupe Mars
| {{w|Kim Stanley Robinson}}'s award-winning {{w|Mars trilogy}} (''Red Mars, Green Mars, Blue Mars'' after various stages of {{w|terraformation}}). {{w|Taupe}} is a brownish-grey color.
|-
|{{w|Gliese|g}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Jelly-Filled Planet
| Possibly a reference to the conjecture that this tidally locked planet has an isolated habitable zone under the substellar point, akin to the pocket of jelly in a jelly doughnut.
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Epsilon Eridani}}
| {{w|Epsilon Eridani b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Skydot
| [https://skydot.lanl.gov SkyDOT] is the Sky Database for Objects in Time-Domain run by {{w|LANL}} for the {{w|U.S. Dept. of Energy}} and includes data for [https://skydot.lanl.gov/nsvs/star.php?num=14831575&mask=32004 Epsilon Eridani] that can be used to constrain the orbital parameters of ε Eri b. It may also refer to how objects in space may appear as bland, bright dots in the night sky.
|-
| {{w|Epsilon Eridani c#Planet c|c}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Laser Noises
| A {{w|Laser}} does not produce {{w|Noise (electronics)|noise}} in the signal sense; it only works at a well-defined frequency. In science fiction films, however, laser weapon discharges are usually accompanied by sound. Sun-like Epsilon Eridani became a popular setting for science fiction after its publicity as a target of the {{w|Project Ozma}} experiment.
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Gliese 176}}
| {{w|Gliese 176 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| {{w|Pandora}}
| The mythological name {{w|Pandora}} fulfills most of IAU's guidelines and has been popular for planets in science fiction; most recently and famously is {{w|Pandora (Avatar)|the venue}} of James Cameron's ''{{w|Avatar (film)|Avatar}}'' (although actually it is not a planet but just a moon of a gas giant in Alpha Centauri A). It is also a hellish planet from {{w|Frank Herbert}}'s {{w|Frank Herbert bibliography#WorShip novels|WorShip}} series of novels, a jungle planet in Brothers Strugatsky's {{w|Noon Universe}} and the planet used in {{w|Borderlands (video game)|Borderlands Games}}.
|-
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_176_c/ c]
| {{No|Old}}
| Pantera
| A near homophone of Pandora, possibly named for the {{w|Pantera|heavy metal band}}, which was named for the {{w|De Tomaso Pantera|Italian sports car}}, which was named for the panther. Could be a reference to the Avatar movie by James Cameron. The band was ALSO referenced in Terraria, due to the Plantera boss.
|-
| {{w|Kepler-61}}
| {{w|Kepler-61b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| GoldenPalace.com
| A gambling website, known for {{w|GoldenPalace.com|paying to have their name in unusual places}} (like forehead tattoos, species names...).
|-
| {{w|Groombridge 34|Groombridge 34A}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Hot Mess
| This is a reference to the phrase {{w|wikt:hot mess|hot mess}}, meaning a person who is dishevelled but nevertheless attractive.
|-
| Kepler-442
| {{w|Kepler-442b|b}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Seas of {{w|Toothpaste}}
|
|-
| Gliese-422
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| This one weird planet
| Most likely a reference to {{w|clickbait}} articles found on the internet.
|-
| rowspan=3 | {{w|EPIC 201367065|EPIC-201367065}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Sulawesi}}
| {{w|Sulawesi|An island }} in the Indonesian archipelago. Including it in non-Earth maps is an xkcd running gag.
|-
| c
| {{Yes|New}}
| Huge {{w|Soccer}} Ball
|
|-
| d
| {{Yes|New}}
| Geodude
| [https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Geodude_%28Pok%C3%A9mon%29 Geodude] is a Pokémon characterised by its ball-like shape. It resembles a clump of rocks.
|-
| rowspan=5 | {{w|Kepler-296}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Kerbal Space Planet
| {{w|Kerbal Space Program}} is a game where model rockets are launched on a scale version of the Earth. It has been referenced in xkcd a number of times (in the title text of [[1106: ADD]], in [[1244: Six Words]], as a part of [[1350: Lorenz]] and in [[1356: Orbital Mechanics]]). Note, though, that the actual planet corresponding to the Earth in the game is called [https://wiki.kerbalspaceprogram.com/wiki/Kerbin "Kerbin"].
|-
| c
| {{Yes|New}}
| A$aplanet
| Most probably a pun on the rap group {{w|A$AP Mob}} and their most prominent member {{w|A$AP Rocky}}. May also be a pun on {{w|Kesha}}, also written as Ke$ha. In that case the c of the planet's designation would belong to the name.
|-
| d
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Jurassic World}}
| ''{{w|Jurassic World}}'' was the most recent movie in the ''{{w|Jurassic Park}}'' series.
|-
| {{w|Kepler-296e|e}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| This Land
| Reference to Wash's dialogue in the pilot episode of {{w|Firefly (TV Series)|Firefly}}. Or perhaps the folk song "This Land is Your Land", written and made famous by Woody Guthrie.
|-
| {{w|Kepler-296f|f}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Springfield
| The name of {{w|Springfield (The Simpsons)|the town}} in which animated sitcom {{w|The Simpsons}} is set; possibly a reference to the running joke that the state in which Springfield is located has never been named.
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|HR 7722}}
| {{w|HR 7722 b|b}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Betelgeuse}}
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Betelgeuse}} is a star in the constellation Orion. It is commonly (at least by speakers of English) pronounced as "beetlejuice". {{w|Beetlejuice}}, however is a film directed by {{w|Tim Burton}} from 1988. Similarly to Dune/Arrakis (see Gliese 180) and the two Uranuses (see Kepler-283), naming two planets with names that are generally regarded to be identical would cause severe confusion in astronomical discussions.
|-
| {{w|HR 7722 c|c}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Beetlejuice
|-
| EPIC 201912552
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Netherlands}} VI
| The title text references this entry. See the explanation of the title text above the table entry.
|-
| rowspan=3 | Gliese 3293
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Antispit
| In the comic [https://www.homestuck.com/ Homestuck] there is a luminous moon named [[wikia:w:c:mspa:Prospit|Prospit]].
|-
| c
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Google Earth}}
| {{w|Google Earth}} is a service, similar to Google Maps, which projects satellite data on a 3D globe that can be zoomed in on. Other features, such as models of buildings, can also appear.
|-
| d
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Planet of the Apes (disambiguation)}}
| The way a Wikipedia article would be titled, for example, to distinguish from the {{w|Planet of the Apes (novel)|the original novel}}, {{w|Planet of the Apes (1968 film)|the first film}}, {{w|Planet of the Apes (2001 film)|the Tim Burton remake}} and {{w|Rise of the Planet of the Apes|the reboot series}}. In each adaptation, a group of astronauts lands on what is believed to be a "Planet of the Apes", which turns out to be a post-apocalyptic Earth. A Wikipedia page for this planet would itself conflict with an existing disambiguation page, possibly requiring a second-level disambiguation page to be created.
|-
| rowspan=2 | Kepler-283
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| ˈjʊərənəs
| rowspan = 2 | Two alternative pronunciations (written in {{w|International Phonetic Alphabet}}) for the planet name Uranus; the first one translates as "YU-ri-nus" ("urine-us"), while the second translates as "yu-RAIN-us" ("your anus"). The first pronunciation (being the same as how the {{w|Uranus (mythology)|Greek god}} is pronounced in English) is preferred by astronomers, but both are commonly heard. Similarly to Dune/Arrakis (see Gliese 180) and Betelgeuse/Beetlejuice (see HR 7722), naming two planets with names that are generally regarded to be identical would cause severe confusion in astronomical discussions.
|-
| c
| {{Yes|New}}
| jʊˈreɪnəs
|-
| rowspan=4 | {{w|Upsilon Andromedae}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Fourthmeal
| {{w|Taco Bell}} has an ad campaign adding a meal after dinner. Possibly also a reference to {{w|Hobbit}}s and [https://askmiddlearth.tumblr.com/post/41765286488/the-seven-daily-hobbit-meals seven daily meals]. This entry was misspelled Andromidae in the first comic (and also in the first released version of this one, see [[#Trivia|trivia]].) Although the star was mentioned in the previous chart, this entry "b" was not. In that comic the chart was shown as a part of a list. And the b entry was above the cut-off line. So the next object was also called "c" in the previous chart.
|-
|{{w|Upsilon Andromedae c|c}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Stampy
| The name of the elephant from the {{w|Simpsons}} episode {{w|Bart Gets an Elephant}}.
|-
|{{w|Upsilon Andromedae d|d}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Moonchild
| The name Bastian gives the Childlike Empress in {{w|The Neverending Story}}.
|-
|{{w|Upsilon Andromedae e|e}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Ham Sphere
| [https://www.hamsphere.com HamSphere] is a {{w|Amateur radio|Ham Radio}} simulator program. Ham radio uses designated radio frequencies for non-commercial exchange of messages and more. A pun of Hemisphere.
|-
| rowspan=3 | {{w|82 G. Eridani|HD 20794}}
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/hd_20794_b/ b]
| {{No|Old}}
| Cosmic Sands
| style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS', 'Comic Sans'" | A {{w|pun}} on the name of the font {{w|Comic Sans}}. (<span style="font-family:papyrus">See also: [[590|590: Papyrus]].</span>)
|-
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/hd_20794_c/ c]
| {{No|Old}}
| {{w|Legoland}}
| {{w|Legoland}} is a chain of {{w|theme park}}s owned by the {{w|Lego Group}}. Potentially a reference to the movie {{w|The World's End (film)|The World's End}}, in which the protagonist Gary King tells the alien invaders to "get in your rocket and fuck off back to Legoland".
|-
|[http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/hd_20794_d/ d]
| {{No|Old}}
| Planet with Arms
| A reference to the [https://www.thecolorsofmysoul.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/The-Hitchhikers-Guide-to-the-Galaxy.jpg early covers] of {{w|Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy}}? Could also be a reference to [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/birds-with-arms "Birds with Arms" meme].
|-
| {{w|HD 85512}}
| {{w|HD 85512 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Lax Morality
| Possibly a parody of science fiction in which certain planets are suggested to be uniformly lax in morals (i.e. full of sex, drugs, etc.). See {{tvtropes|Planetville|the TVTropes listing}}, and related. Or, possibly a reference to {{w|GCU Grey Area}}.
|-
| rowspan=6 | {{w|HD 40307}}
| {{w|HD 40307 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Good Planet
| Similar to the above, except with good planets. May also be yet another non-descriptive name, like "Space Planet" and "Planet #14".
|-
|{{w|HD|c}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Problemland
| See above. Also may be a reference to Iceland/Greenland naming scheme[https://anitasnotebook.com/travelstories/how-iceland-and-greenland-ended-up-with-such-messed-up-names/], where Problemland may actually be a better place to visit than "Good Planet."
|-
|{{w|HD 40307 d|d}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Slickle
| This is a reference to "[https://zdarsky.tumblr.com/post/2837139960 The Petals Fall Twice]" (possibly NSFW), which was made as a humorous example of bad fan-fiction. The word itself is a portmanteau of "slowly", "licked", and "tickled".
|-
|{{w|HD 40307 e|e}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Spare Parts
| This suggests that the planet is "worthless" or "junk". This is false, of course. May be a reference to the fact it is a planet with nothing much different from the other planets.
|-
|{{w|HD 40307 f|f}}
| {{No|Old}}
| {{w|New Jersey}} VI
| Refers to the state of {{w|New Jersey}}; may be an insult to either.
|-
|{{w|HD|g}}
| {{No|Old}}
| How Do I Join the {{w|IAU}}
| This implies that the user "got lost" on the IAU website and thought that the "planet name suggestion" input was for general queries.
|-
| rowspan=3 | {{w|Gliese 163}}
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_163_b/ b]
| {{No|Old}}
| Neil Tyson's Mustache
| {{w|Neil deGrasse Tyson}} is a famous American astrophysicist and science communicator who does maintain a distinguished mustache.
|-
|{{w|Gliese|c}}
| {{No|Old}}
| help@gmail.com
| Similar to "How Do I Join the IAU", this implies that the user confused the "planet suggestion" text box for a new email they are trying to send.
|-
|[http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_163_d/ d]
| {{No|Old}}
| Hair-Covered Planet
| Refers to the well-known {{w|Hairy ball theorem}} of topology.
|-
| {{w|Pi Mensae}}
| {{w|Pi Mensae b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| {{w|Natural satellite|Moon Holder}}
| {{w|Jupiter}} has more than 60 discovered moons, and still counting... A planet ten times more massive ''must'' also be a Moon Holder.
|-
| {{w|HD 189733}}
| {{w|HD 189733 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Permadeath
| A well-characterized "{{w|Hot Jupiter}}" at a temperature range of 973 ± 33 K to 1,212 ± 11 K. The name refers to the feature of {{w|Permanent death}} common in many RPGs and roguelikes. Or may reference permafrost, which has also been discussed in the comic.
|-
| {{w|Kepler-22}}
| {{w|Kepler-22 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Blue Ivy
| Blue Ivy Carter is the daughter of musicians {{w|Beyoncé}} and {{w|Jay-Z}}.
|-
| KOI-2474
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Store-Brand {{w|Earth}}
| A {{w|Store brand}} is a line of products branded by a retailer. They have a reputation for being lower quality than other brands, and are often marketed similarly to other brands. This is implying that this is a cheaper version of Earth. (This entry replaced the completely different entry Kepler-3284b Blainsley from the previous chart).
|-
| Kepler-437
| b
| {{YesNo|updated}}
| {{w|Unicorn}} Thresher
| As far as we can tell, Kepler-437b is in the vicinity of the constellation Monoceros, aka the Unicorn. (This was labeled Kepler-3255b in the previous chart)
|-
| KOI-2418
| b
| {{No|Old}}
| Spherical Discworld
| {{w|The Discworld}} is the fictional setting for British author {{w|Terry Pratchett}}'s {{w|Discworld}} series of humorous fantasy novels; it consists of a large disc supported by four elephants themselves standing on top of a turtle flying through space. The joke being that the planet could not be spherical and disc-shaped at the same time. (Was listed as Kepler-2418 in the previous chart).
|-
| {{w|Kepler-438}}
| {{w|Kepler-438b|b}}
| {{YesNo|updated}}
| Emergency Backup Earth
| This candidate planet has an {{w|Earth Similarity Index}} of 0.89, making it one of the most habitable {{w|Kepler object of interest}}. The name suggests that it could be used as a backup in case something happened to our current planet. (Was listed as Kepler-1686 in the previous chart; Kepler-1686 b was proven to be a false positive by NASA in 2015).
|-
| KOI-3010
| {{w|KOI-3010.01|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Feeeoooooooop
| Possibly the onomatopoeia for something getting sucked into a black hole.
|-
| Kepler-442
| {{w|Keppler-442b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Liz
| Just a regular name (for a person, not a planet). Maybe a reference to the Magic School Bus.
|-
| rowspan=3 | {{w|82 Eridani}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Horsemeat Surface
| A reference to the {{w|2013 meat adulteration scandal}}, where horsemeat was found in burgers alleging to contain beef. This planet's name suggests that the surface of the entire planet would also contain improperly declared horsemeat.
|-
| c
| {{Yes|New}}
| The {{w|Moon}}
| This name would cause confusion with the Earth's moon, which in English is called The Moon. It is also a poor name choice as 82 Eridani c is not a moon, but a planet. This may also be a reference to the name{{Actual citation needed|Which name? Which exoplanet? Would help to at least state these here, if not actually link to them both, not assume that we all know this (like I definitely don't, and didn't quicky discover it for myself, to add in), especially when it might be not even be commonly known outside China itself}} that the Chinese astronomers gave to an exoplanet — the name was previously the nickname of the Moon.
|-
| d
| {{Yes|New}}
| Constant Saxophones
| May refer to the fact that there are lots of different kinds of {{w|Saxophone#The_saxophone_family|saxophones}}. A Constant Saxophone may only be able to play one note, while several Constant Saxophones tuned to different notes could assemble the tone range of either normal saxophone. Constant Saxophones could also imply that Saxophone music is played constantly, everywhere on the planet. This could get tiresome for the residents of the planet.
|-
| {{w|HD 102365}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Little Big Planet
| This refers to the videogame {{w|LittleBigPlanet}}. Little Big Planet was also mentioned implicitly in [[Size Venn Diagram]].
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Gliese 180}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Dune
| rowspan=2 | Both references to Frank Herbert's {{w|Dune (novel)|Dune}} book series. The planet Arrakis (informally referred to as 'Dune') is the central planet in the mythology, where the mind-enhancing substance 'spice' comes from. Use of spice enables, among others, supercomputing-like mental computation as well as hyperspace navigation. Having two neighbouring planets with names that are historically used to refer to a single planet would sow further confusion in the already extensive catalog of planet names. This is similarly to Betelgeuse/Beetlejuice (see HR 7722) and the two Uranuses (see Kepler-283).
|-
| c
| {{Yes|New}}
| Arrakis
|-
| {{w|Fomalhaut}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Swarm of {{w|Bees}}
| From Wikipedia: Fomalhaut b could be a conglomeration of rubble from a recent collision between comet-to-asteroid-sized bodies and not actually identify a planet.
|-
| rowspan=5 | {{w|Kepler-62}}
| {{w|Kepler-62b|b}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Sporty
| rowspan=5 | A reference to the {{w|Spice Girls}}. See also the previous comic, [[1554: Spice Girls]], where [[Megan]] was unable to list the members of this pop group. In this case the names are correct, and would give Megan a new and interesting reason to remember them. {{w|Kepler-62f}} is a [https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/kepler/multimedia/images/kepler-62e.html super-Earth-size planet], that may be potentially habitable. {{w|Kepler-62e}} is a possible [https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/kepler/multimedia/images/kepler-62e.html water world].
|-
| {{w|Kepler-62c|c}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Baby
|-
| {{w|Kepler-62d|d}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Scary
|-
| {{w|Kepler-62e|e}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Ginger
|-
| {{w|Kepler-62f|f}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Posh
|-
| rowspan=3 | {{w|HD 69830}}
| {{w|HD 69830 b|b}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Planet.xxx
| {{w|.xxx}} is a controversial top level domain (like to .com and .net) that is intended to distinguish porn sites from other types of website. Planet X is the name for a still undiscovered planet in our solar system, a common theme both in real science and fiction. The search for "Planet X" lead, by chance, to the discovery of Pluto.
|-
| {{w|HD 69830 c|c}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Novella
| A {{w|novella}} is a form of prose with length between a {{w|short story}} and a {{w|novel}}. Common examples of novellas are romance literature centering around intense lustful encounters in cheap paperback books, though also 'serious' literature may be in novella form.
|-
| {{w|HD 69830 d|d}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Sexoplanet
| Like the other two planets orbiting this star, the "69" in the stars designation has lead to a sex joke: All planets in this comic are "exo-planets", planets not orbiting our sun. Adding a single "s" in front results in immature humor.
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Gliese 682}}
| {{w|Gliese 682 b|b}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Verdant Hellscape
| A contradictory name. "[[wikt:verdant|Verdant]]" usually signifies to be lush with green plant life, while "[[wikt:hellscape|hellscape]]" describes a desolate landscape destroyed by heat and cataclysm.
|-
| {{w|Gliese 682 c|c}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Unsubscribe
| On YouTube, "subscribers" (people who get updates on a person's channel) are highly valued, and to "unsubscribe" from anyone is deemed to be offensive. "Unsubscribe" is also the command one sends to {{w|Electronic mailing list}}s to stop receiving said mailing list. In this sense it may imply a desire to no longer be bothered with these silly discussions around planet-names. Like "help@gmail.com" and "How do I join the IAU", "unsubscribe" is a frequently seen accidental message on the Internet in contexts where it is not going to work as a command.
|-
| {{w|Kepler-452}}
| {{w|Kepler-452b|b}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Pluto}}
| This is the planet Black Hat is referring to at the top of the table.
|}

==Transcript==

:[Black Hat points with a stick at a slide showing an image of a planet with unknown features marked by questions marks.]
:Kepler-452b

:Black Hat: NASA has announced the discovery of a (super-)Earth-sized planet in the habitable zone of a sun-like star.
:Black Hat: I suggest we name this planet "Pluto", both to celebrate the great work by the ''New Horizons'' team, and to make the stupid "Is Pluto a planet" debate a little more confusing

:While we wait to hear from the IAU,
:here's a revised and updated list of
:planet name suggestions (see xkcd.com/1253)
:<font color="red">New or updated entries in red</font>

:[The table is in three separate columns. There is a small arrow pointing at the second column, named "Planet", indicating the planet's name corresponding to the star at the first row. The third column shows the planet name suggestions.]

:[Left Columns]

:[Star] Gliese 667c
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Space Planet
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Pilf
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] A Star
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] e'); DROP TABLE PLANETS;--
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Blogosphere
::[Planet] g [Suggested Name] Blogodrome
::[Planet] h [Suggested Name] Earth
:[Star] Tau Ceti
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Sid Meier's Tau Ceti B
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Giant Dog PLanet
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Tiny Dog Planet
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Phil Plainet
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Unicode Snowman
:[Star] Gliese 832
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Asshole Jupiter
::<font color="red">[Planet] c [Suggested Name] <i>WaterWorld</i> Starring Kevin Costner </font>
:[Star] Gliese 581
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Waist-Deep Cats
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Planet #14
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Ballderaan
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Eternia Prime
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Taupe Mars
::[Planet] g [Suggested Name]Jelly-Filled Planet
:[Star] Epsilon Eridani
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Skydot
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Laser Noises
:[Star] Gliese 176
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Pandora
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Pantera
:[Star] Kepler-61
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Goldenpalace.com
<font color="red">:[Star] Groombridge 34A
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Hot Mess
:[Star] Kepler-442
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Seas of Toothpaste
:[Star] Gliese-422
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] This One Weird Planet
:[Star] Epic-201367065
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Sulawesi
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Huge Soccer Ball
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Geodude
:[Star] Kepler-296
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Kerbal Space Planet
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] A$APlanet
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Jurassic World
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] This Land
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Springfield
:[Star] HR 7722
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Betelgeuse
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Beetlejuice
:[Star] Epic 201912252
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Netherlands VI
:[Star] Gliese 3293
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Antispit
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Google Earth
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Planet of the Apes (Disambiguation)
:[Star] Kepler-283
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] jʊərənəs
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] jʊˈreɪnəs
</font>
:[End Left Colomns]

:[Start Right Colomns]

:[Star] Upsilon Andromidae
::<font color="red"> [Planet] b [Suggested Name] Fourth meal </font>
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Stampy
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Moonchild
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Ham Sphere
:[Star] HD 20794
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Cosmic Sands
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] LegoLand
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Planet with Arms
:[Star] HD 85512
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Lax Morality
:[Star] HD 40307
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Good Planet
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Problemland
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Slickle
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Spare Parts
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] New Jersey VI
::[Planet] g [Suggested Name] How do I Join the IAU
:[Star] Gliese 163
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Neil Tyson's Mustache
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Help@gmail.com
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Hair-Covered Planet
:[Star] Pi Mensae
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Moon Holder
:[Star] HD 189733
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Permadeath
:[Star] Kepler-22
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Blue Ivy
:<font color="red">[Star] Koi-2474
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Store-Brand Earth
:[Star] Kepler-437 </font>
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Unicorn Thresher
:[Star] Koi-2418
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Spherical DiscWorld
:<font color="red">[Star] Kepler-438
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Emergency Backup Earth </font>
:[Star] Koi-3010
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Feeeooooooooop
:[Star] Kepler-442
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Liz
:<font color="red">[Star] 82 Eridani
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Horsemeat Surface
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] The Moon
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Constant Saxophones
:[Star] HD 102365
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Little Big Planet
:[Star] Gliese 180
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Dune
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Arrakis
:[Star] Fomalhaut
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Swarm of Bees
:[Star] Kepler-62
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Sporty
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Baby
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Scary
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Ginger
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Posh
:[Star] Kepler-62
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Planet.xxx
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Novella
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Sexoplanet
:[Star] Gliese 682
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Verdant Hellscape
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Unsubscribe
:[Star] Kepler-452
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Pluto
</font>
:[End Right Colomns]

==Trivia==
* The IPA character for stress is a vertical line ˈ, but Randall uses a slanted line similar to acute accent ´ or prime ′.
* In the [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/archive/f/fd/20150725002854!exoplanet_names_2.png original version of this comic], there were three errors, but they were corrected later the same day. They were:
** Waterworld starring Kevin '''Kostner''' (instead of '''Costner''')
** Upsilon '''Andromidae''' (instead of '''Andromedae''')
** '''Formalhaut''' (instead of '''Fomalhaut''')
* After the initial release of this comic, Randall added a jumbled version of the address to this page. It's viewable in the HTML-source or here: [https://xkcd.com/1555/info.0.json https://xkcd.com/1555/info.0.json]. The text is: ''"Full explanation & dissection & transcription available http:\n\nwww.explainxkcd.com\nwiki\nindex.php\n1555"'', with \n characters replacing the backslashes instead of the JSON-specific \\.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Exoplanet Names 2]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Exoplanets]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Firefly]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Kerbal Space Program]]
[[Category:Bees]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Spice Girls]]
[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics edited after their publication]]
[[Category:Exoplanet Names]]

3152: Skateboard

2025-10-09T03:24:58Z

Black Hat's Hat: added some details to transcript

{{comic
| number = 3152
| date = October 8, 2025
| title = Skateboard
| image = skateboard_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x267px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I understand it's hard to do more than 300 feet on these 90-second rush jobs, but with a smaller ramp I'm worried the gee forces will be too high for me to do any tricks.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a extremely expedited half pipe. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

In this comic, [[Cueball]] appears to have gone skydiving. In mid-fall, he opens what he thought was his parachute, only to discover the bag in fact contains skateboarding gear. This may be a reference to a 1988 incident where a skydiver switched his skydiving equipment for his camera equipment backpack and perished. Cueball blames himself for the error, pointing out that having something that is not a parachute in a bag that looks a lot like a parachute bag is practically inviting disaster.

After a beat panel, Cueball (still in mid-fall) procures his phone and makes a call to a company responsible for {{w|skatepark}}s, hoping to place an order for a {{w|half-pipe}}. Half-pipes are skating ramps consisting of a semi-circular surface that forms 180 degrees of an arc, allowing skaters to ascend vertically to perform tricks and then descend onto the same ramp. It seems Cueball's intention is to have a very large half-pipe transported to (or constructed at) his landing zone, then use his skateboard to land on the ramp. From there, he could either transfer his downward momentum into much more survivable horizontal momentum, or continue into the opposing ramp to transfer into upward momentum, which would be counteracted by gravity and produce a more meaningful fall.

Obviously, this idea is absurd; half-pipes are very large structures, and it would be difficult to move such a structure ''any'' meaningful distance in the time it would take Cueball to hit the ground. The title text plays this for laughs, suggesting that the skatepark representative only takes issue with the ''size'' of the ramp that Cueball is requesting (600 feet), with the insinuation that a smaller half-pipe (300 feet) would be perfectly within their capabilities. Cueball tries to convince the rep to accept his original request due to his falling speed; making a high-speed turn inflicts significantly more gee forces on the turner the tighter the turn is and the faster the turner is going, and humans have a tendency to black out under extreme gees. While Cueball is confident in his ability to endure the gees of a 600-foot halfpipe turn, he has less confidence regarding a much tighter 300-foot halfpipe - and, of course, because he is falling without a parachute, he does not have the option of slowing down in order to make the tighter turn more manageable.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[Cueball falling in the sky facing, his back down, him facing upwards. He has abackpack on his back and a skateboard in his hand. Clouds are seen in the background]
:Cueball: I guess this is on me. I should really keep my skateboarding gear and my parachutes in different-looking bags.

:[Cueball looking at his skateboard, still falling, now facing downwards]

:[Cueball dialing on his phone, almost completely upside down]
:BEEP BEEP

:[Cueball talking on his phone, back facing upwards, similar to the first panel]
:Cueball: Hello, Pro Skate Parks LLC? I'd like an extremely expedited order for a 600-foot halfpipe.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Skateboard]]

1253: Exoplanet Names

2025-10-09T03:19:27Z

Black Hat's Hat: I forgot I had practice today but i finally got the transcript finished.

{{comic
| number = 1253
| date = August 19, 2013
| title = Exoplanet Names
| image = exoplanet names.png
| titletext = If you have any ideas, I hear you can send them to <nowiki>iaupublic@iap.fr</nowiki>.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic would later be updated in [[1555: Exoplanet Names 2]]. On the 14th of August, 2013, the {{w|International Astronomical Union}} (IAU) [https://www.iau.org/science/news/179/ issued a document] about public naming of astronomical objects. It stated, "IAU fully supports the involvement of the general public, whether directly or through an independent organized vote, in the naming of planetary satellites, newly discovered planets, and their host stars."

The caption above the comic states the fact above and then notes that the IAU immediately regret this decision. As we can see from [[Cueball|Cueball's]] question, from [[Ponytail]]'s facepalm, and the fact that even [[Megan]] is speechless, the suggestions are appalling. It becomes even worse when [[Hairbun]] tells them that an automatic filter has already been applied to the results, one designed to remove inappropriate entries that don't meet certain criteria. This implies that the list would have been even worse if presented in its unfiltered form (as seen below in the table).

The naming document also contained, amongst other things, guidelines that suggested names should meet. These include stipulations such as "16 characters or less", "preferably one word", being "pronounceable (in as many languages as possible)", "not too similar to an existing name of an astronomical object", avoiding commercial names, and being "respectful of intellectual property". If we go down the list, we can see that many of [[Randall|Randall's]] suggestions do indeed violate the guidelines. Which is part of the joke as it reflects the tendency of internet submissions to ignore such softly suggested guidelines.

The randomness and inappropriateness of the suggested names reflects the commonly expected response from anonymous submitters on the internet. Many forums and contests that call for online response and do not apply strict control over the responses receive similar collections of random, inappropriate and obscure submissions that are often only tangentially related to the original subject. For example, Greenpeace held a naming contest for one of the whales recently tagged in their research and preservation campaign and even after selecting the finalists the online voting resulted in naming the whale "Mr. Splashypants". PepsiCo had even less restrictive controls in their marketing campaign that asked the internet to name a new flavor of Mountain Dew. They had to shut down the contest in order to avoid naming the new beverage "Hitler did nothing wrong" which was the current leader at the time and only marginally the most inappropriate of the top ten voted suggestions. Even more recently is the case of {{w|Boaty McBoatface}}, in which the internet decided to dub a British research vessel "Boaty McBoatface". The boat was given the name {{w|RRS Sir David Attenborough}} in the end, with its Autonomous Underwater Vehicle being called "Boaty McBoatface".

The document also states that naming suggestions may be sent to the email that Randall included in the title text.

{| class="wikitable sortable"
! Star !! Planet !! Suggested Name !! Explanation
|-
! rowspan=7 | {{w|Gliese 667}}
| {{w|Gliese 667 Cb|b}}
| Space Planet
| A very unoriginal name; every planet is in space.{{Citation needed}}
|-
| {{w|Gliese 667 Cc|c}}
| PILF
| Pun of {{w|MILF pornography|MILF}}, i.e. ''Planet I'd Like to Fuck''. Planet c is a relatively hot planet, within the habitable zone.
|-
| {{w|Gliese 667 Cd|d}}
| A Star
| "A {{w|Star}}" is obviously a bad name for a planet. A* (pronounced "A star") is already used in astronomy, for example the Milky Way's black hole core is {{w|Sagittarius A*}}. "A star" is also the name for the character {{w|asterisk}} and the name of the popular {{w|A* search algorithm}} in computer science. It also suggests that the planet is a star.{{Citation needed}}
|-
| {{w|Gliese 667 Ce|e}}
| e'); DROP TABLE PLANETS;--
| A reference to {{w|SQL injection}}, riffing off of [[327: Exploits of a Mom]], which featured a schoolboy named <code>[[Little Bobby Tables|Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--]]</code>. The idea here is that the IAU would enter the name into their system and promptly lose all of their data pertaining to planets. Note that Planet e is located in the habitable zone of the star system.
|-
| {{w|Gliese 667 Cf|f}}
| Blogosphere
| rowspan = 2 | Weird ''{{w|blog}}''-related terms are a recurring theme in xkcd. See, for instance, [[181|comic 181]].
|-
| {{w|Gliese 667 Cg|g}}
| Blogodrome
|-
| [https://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_667c_h/ h]
| Earth
| Planet candidate h is about the mass of the Earth, and described as "tantalizing": [https://www.aanda.org/articles/aa/abs/2013/08/aa21331-13/aa21331-13.html A dynamically-packed planetary system around GJ with three super-Earths in its habitable zone]. See also ([[1231: Habitable Zone]]).
|-
! rowspan=5 | {{w|Tau Ceti}}
| [https://exoplanet.eu/catalog/tau_cet_b/ b]
| Sid Meier's Tau Ceti B
| This refers to the game {{w|Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri}}.
|-
| [https://exoplanet.eu/catalog/tau_cet_c/ c]
| Giant Dog Planet
| {{w|VY Canis Majoris}} is one of the largest known stars at our galaxy and belongs to the constellation {{w|Canis Major}}, Latin for "greater dog". The constellation further contains {{w|Sirius}}, the brightest star in the night sky, also called "Dog Star".
|-
| [https://exoplanet.eu/catalog/tau_cet_d/ d]
| Tiny Dog Planet
| cf. {{w|Canis Minor}}, Latin for "lesser dog", another constellation.
|-
| {{w|Tau Ceti e|e}}
| Phil Plainet
| A reference to {{w|Phil Plait}}, a.k.a. The Bad Astronomer.
|-
| {{w|Tau Ceti f|f}}
| Unicode Snowman
| The Unicode character <span style="font-size: 200%">☃</span> may be a reference to the planet's estimated surface temperature of -40 °C (-40 °F). However, this name would be pronounced differently (being a symbol, not a word or name) in different languages. Planets in our solar system are assigned to {{w|Astronomical symbols|astronomical symbols}} like <span style="font-size:150%">♁</span> for Earth or <span style="font-size:150%">♂</span> for Mars. (A unicode snowman is also referenced in Randall's book ''What If'', where it is keymapped to a laptop.)
|-
! {{w|Gliese 832}}
| {{w|Gliese 832 b|b}}
| Asshole Jupiter
| This massive planet orbits a {{w|red dwarf}} star at the longest known period of 3416 days at this category.
|-
! rowspan=6 | {{w|Gliese 581}}
| {{w|Gliese 581 b|b}}
| Waist-deep Cats
| Likely a reference to {{w|Lolcat}}s, which are a series of images of cats captioned with poorly-written and/or spelled English.
|-
| {{w|Gliese|c}}
| Planet #14
| About 200th discovered exoplanet (in 2007); reported to be the first potentially Earth-like planet in the habitable zone of its star, though that is in doubt now. The joke might be that like "Space Planet", "Planet #14" is a generic and unoriginal name. Also note that this is the 15th entry in the table so the numbering is {{w|Zero-based_numbering|zero-based}}.
An interesting (?) coincidence is that the 14th and 15th {{w|Definition of planet#Minor planets|Minor planets}} (then called asteroids) were discovered in 1851; see see {{w|List of minor planets: 1–1000}}. If they were to be counted among the planets of the {{w|Solar System}}, as was sometimes done then, the 14th known planetary body would be {{w| 7 Iris|Iris}} (discovered in 1847, a year before {{w|Neptune}}).
|-
| {{w|Gliese 581 d|d}}
| Ballderaan
| A {{w|wikt:balls|crude pun}} on the planet {{w|Alderaan}} from the ''{{w|Star Wars}}'' universe.
|-
| {{w|Gliese 581 e|e}}
| Eternia Prime
| {{w|Eternia}} is a fictional planet, venue of the ''{{w|Masters of the Universe}}'' animated series and toy collection.
|-
| {{w|Gliese 581 f|f}}
| Taupe Mars
| {{w|Kim Stanley Robinson}}'s award-winning {{w|Mars trilogy}} (''Red Mars, Green Mars, Blue Mars'' after various stages of {{w|terraformation}}). {{w|Taupe}} is a brownish-grey color.
|-
| {{w|Gliese|g}}
| Jelly-Filled Planet
| Possibly a reference to the conjecture that this tidally locked planet has an isolated habitable zone under the substellar point, akin to the pocket of jelly in a jelly doughnut.
|-
! rowspan=2 | {{w|Epsilon Eridani}}
| {{w|Epsilon Eridani b|b}}
| Skydot
| [https://skydot.lanl.gov SkyDOT] is the Sky Database for Objects in Time-Domain run by {{w|LANL}} for the {{w|U.S. Dept. of Energy}} and includes data for [https://skydot.lanl.gov/nsvs/star.php?num=14831575&mask=32004 Epsilon Eridani] that can be used to constrain the orbital parameters of ε Eri b. It may also refer to how objects in space may appear as bland, bright dots in the night sky.
|-
| {{w|Epsilon Eridani c#Planet_c|c}}
| Laser Noises
| A {{w|Laser}} does not produce {{w|Noise (electronics)|noise}} in the signal sense; it only works at a well-defined frequency. In science fiction films, however, laser weapon discharges are usually accompanied by sound ("pew pew" or the like). Sun-like Epsilon Eridani became a popular setting for science fiction after its publicity as a target of the {{w|Project Ozma}} experiment.
|-
! rowspan=2 | {{w|Gliese 176}}
| {{w|Gliese 176 b|b}}
| Pandora
| The mythological name {{w|Pandora}} fulfills most of IAU's guidelines and has been popular for planets in science fiction; most recently and famously is {{w|Pandora (Avatar)|the venue}} of James Cameron's ''{{w|Avatar (film)|Avatar}}'' (although actually it is not a planet but just a moon of a gas giant in Alfa Centauri A). It is also a hellish planet from {{w|Frank Herbert}}'s {{w|Frank Herbert bibliography#WorShip novels|WorShip}} series of novels, a jungle planet in Brothers Strugatsky's {{w|Noon Universe}} and the planet used in {{w|Borderlands (video game)|Borderlands Games}}.
|-
| [https://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_176_c/ c]
| Pantera
| Named for the {{w|Pantera|heavy metal band}}, which itself was named after an Italian sports car, the {{w|De Tomaso Pantera}}.
|-
! Kepler-61
| {{w|Kepler-61b|b}}
| GoldenPalace.com
| A gambling website, known for {{w|GoldenPalace.com|paying to have their name in unusual places}} (like forehead tattoos, species names...).
|-
! colspan=4 | Right column
|-
! rowspan=3 | {{w|Upsilon Andromedae}}
| {{w|Upsilon Andromedae c|c}}
| Stampy
| Most likely a reference to [https://www.youtube.com/user/stampylonghead stampylonghead], although it could be a reference to the elephant from the {{w|Simpsons}} episode {{w|Bart Gets an Elephant}}.
|-
| {{w|Upsilon Andromedae d|d}}
| Moonchild
| The name Bastian gives the Childlike Empress in {{w|The Neverending Story}}.
|-
| {{w|Upsilon Andromedae e|e}}
| Ham Sphere
| [https://www.hamsphere.com HamSphere] is a {{w|Amateur radio|Ham Radio}} simulator program. Ham radio uses designated radio frequencies for non-commercial exchange of messages and more. A pun of Hemisphere.
|-
! rowspan=3 | {{w|. Eridani|HD 20794}}
| [https://exoplanet.eu/catalog/hd_20794_b/ b]
| Cosmic Sands
| style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS', 'Comic Sans'" | A {{w|pun}} on the name of the font {{w|Comic Sans}}. (<span style="font-family:papyrus">See also: [[590: Papyrus/Font|590: Papyrus]].</span>)
|-
| [https://exoplanet.eu/catalog/hd_20794_c/ c]
| Legoland
| {{w|Legoland}} is a chain of {{w|theme park}}s owned by the {{w|Lego Group}}.
|-
| [https://exoplanet.eu/catalog/hd_20794_d/ d]
| Planet with Arms
| A reference to the [https://web.archive.org/web/20160119111332/https://www.thecolorsofmysoul.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/The-Hitchhikers-Guide-to-the-Galaxy.jpg early covers] of {{w|Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy}}? Could also be a reference to [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/birds-with-arms "Birds with Arms" meme].
|-
! {{w|HD 85512}}
| {{w|HD 85512 b|b}}
| Lax Morality
| Possibly a parody of science fiction in which certain planets are suggested to be uniformly... lax in morals (i.e. full of sex, drugs, etc.). See https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Planetville and related.
|-
! rowspan=6 | {{w|HD 40307}}
| {{w|HD 40307 b|b}}
| Good Planet
| Similar to the above, except with good planets. May also be yet another non-descriptive name, like "Space Planet" and "Planet #14".
|-
| {{w|HD|c}}
| ProblemLand
| See above.
|-
| {{w|HD 40307 d|d}}
| Slickle
| This is a reference to "[https://zdarsky.tumblr.com/post/2837139960 The Petals Fall Twice]", which was made as a humorous example of bad fan-fiction. The word itself is a portmanteau of "slowly", "licked", and "tickled". This may also be a reference to the Harry Potter currency, a “Sickle.”
|-
| {{w|HD 40307 e|e}}
| Spare Parts
| This suggests that the planet is "worthless" or "junk". This is false, of course. May be a reference to the fact it is a planet with nothing much different from the other planets.
|-
| {{w|HD 40307 f|f}}
| New Jersey VI
| Refers to the state of {{w|New Jersey}}; may be an insult to either.
|-
| {{w|HD|g}}
| How Do I Join the IAU
| This implies that the user "got lost" on the IAU website and thought that the "planet name suggestion" input was for general queries.
|-
! rowspan=3 | {{w|Gliese 163}}
| [https://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_163_b/ b]
| Neil Tyson's Mustache
| {{w|Neil deGrasse Tyson}} is a famous American astrophysicist and science communicator who does maintain a distinguished mustache.
|-
| {{w|Gliese|c}}
| help@gmail.com
| Similar to "How Do I Join the IAU", this implies that the user confused the "planet suggestion" text box for a new email they are trying to send.
|-
| [https://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_163_d/ d]
| Hair-Covered Planet
| Refers to the well-known {{w|Hairy ball theorem}} of topology.
|-
! {{w|Pi Mensae}}
| {{w|Pi Mensae b|b}}
| Moon Holder
| {{w|Jupiter}} has more than 60 discovered moons, and still counting... A planet ten times more massive ''must'' also be a Moon Holder.
|-
! {{w|HD 189733}}
| {{w|HD 189733 b|b}}
| Permadeath
| A well-characterized "{{w|Hot Jupiter}}" at a temperature range of 973 ± 33 K to 1,212 ± 11 K. The name refers to the feature of {{w|permanent death}} common in many RPGs and roguelikes. It is later mentioned in [[1276: Angular Size]].
|-
! {{w|Kepler-22}}
| {{w|Kepler-22 b|b}}
| Blue Ivy
| Blue Ivy Carter is the daughter of musicians {{w|Beyoncé}} and {{w|Jay-Z}}.
|-
! Kepler-3284
| b
| Blainsley
| A very small town in the United Kingdom, south of Edinburgh. Possibly chosen due to its insignificance?
|-
! Kepler-3255
| b
| Unicorn Thresher
| As far as we can tell, Kepler-3255b is in the vicinity of the constellation Monoceros, aka the Unicorn. Also a pun on {{w|Threshing machine|corn thresher}}.
|-
! Kepler-2418
| b
| Spherical Discworld
| {{w|The Discworld}} is the fictional setting for British author {{w|Terry Pratchett}}'s {{w|Discworld}} series of humorous fantasy novels; it consists of a large disc supported by four elephants themselves standing on top of a turtle flying through space. "Spherical Disc" would be an oxymoron.
|-
! Kepler-1686
| {{w|KOI-1686.01|b}}
| Emergency Backup Earth
| This candidate planet has an {{w|Earth Similarity Index}} of 0.89, making it one of the most habitable {{w|Kepler object of interest}}. The name suggests that it could be used as a backup in case something happened to our current planet.
|-
! Kepler-3010
| b
| Feeeoooooooop
| Possibly the onomatopoeia for something getting sucked into a black hole.
|-
! Kepler-4742
| b
| Liz
| ...Just a regular name (for a person, not a planet). Maybe a reference to the pet lizard on the Magic School Bus.
|}

==Transcript==
:[Text above the first frame of the comic:]
::August 2013:
:The International Astronomical Union
:decides to start naming exoplanets,
:and—for the first time ever—asks for
:suggestions from the general public.
:::They immediately regret this decision.
:[Ponytail is facepalming while Megan and Cueball are looking at a computer screen on a desk. Hairbun points to the screen.]
:Cueball‏‎: Can't you filter out the worst ones?
:Hairbun: This is '''''after''''' the filter!

:[Below is a table showing the list of planet names as seen on the computer screen with gray background around the edges of the table.]

:[The table is in two separate columns, but there is only headings over the left, so the right column is a direct continuation of the left. In the table it is mentioned when the right column begins. There is a small arrow pointing from the word "Planet" down to the second column of the table. The headings in the comic are not inside the table as they are here below. The text at the bottom of the left list seems to continue on below, at least the last entry is cut below the middle, although it is still easy to read. Similarly the text at the top right list, seems to continue from above, the top entry missing the very top of the text. This is as if the list is much longer and here is just shown part of the list. To further indicate this the first entry in the right list begins at "c" instead of at "b" which is else the case for all other instances.]

:[Left Columns]

:[Star] Gliese 667c
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Space Planet
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Pilf
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] A Star
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] e'); DROP TABLE PLANETS;--
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Blogosphere
::[Planet] g [Suggested Name] Blogodrome
::[Planet] h [Suggested Name] Earth
:[Star] Tau Ceti
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Sid Meier's Tau Ceti B
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Giant Dog PLanet
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Tiny Dog Planet
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Phil Plainet
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Unicode Snowman
:[Star] Gliese 832
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Asshole Jupiter
:[Star] Gliese 581
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Waist-Deep Cats
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Planet #14
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Ballderaan
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Eternia Prime
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Taupe Mars
::[Planet] g [Suggested Name]Jelly-Filled Planet
:[Star] Epsilon Eridani
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Skydot
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Laser Noises
:[Star] Gliese 176
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Pandora
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Pantera
:[Star] Kepler-61
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Goldenpalace.com

:[End Left Colomns]

:[Start Right Colomns]

:[Star] Upsilon Andromidae
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Stampy
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Moonchild
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Ham Sphere
:[Star] HD 20794
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Cosmic Sands
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] LegoLand
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Planet with Arms
:[Star] HD 85512
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Lax Morality
:[Star] HD 40307
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Good Planet
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Problemland
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Slickle
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Spare Parts
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] New Jersey VI
::[Planet] g [Suggested Name] How do I Join the IAU
:[Star] Gliese 163
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Neil Tyson's Mustache
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Help@gmail.com
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Hair-Covered Planet
:[Star] Pi Mensae
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Moon Holder
:[Star] HD 189733
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Permadeath
:[Star] Kepler-22
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Blue Ivy
:[Star] Kepler-3284
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Blainsley
:[Star] Kepler-3255
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Unicorn Thresher
:[Star] Kepler-2418
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Spherical DiscWorld
:[Star] Kepler-1686
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Emergency Backup Earth
:[Star] Kepler-3010
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Feeeooooooooop
:[Star] Kepler-4742
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Liz

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics sharing name|Exoplanet Names 1]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball‏‎]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Little Bobby Tables]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Exoplanets]]
[[Category:Exoplanet Names]]

1253: Exoplanet Names

2025-10-08T19:55:22Z

Black Hat's Hat: Started redoing transcript. Removed tables, finished left columns. Will finish right soon, just have to do something. Feel free to go ahead and finish it, but ill get it done within 2 hours regardless

{{comic
| number = 1253
| date = August 19, 2013
| title = Exoplanet Names
| image = exoplanet names.png
| titletext = If you have any ideas, I hear you can send them to <nowiki>iaupublic@iap.fr</nowiki>.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic would later be updated in [[1555: Exoplanet Names 2]]. On the 14th of August, 2013, the {{w|International Astronomical Union}} (IAU) [https://www.iau.org/science/news/179/ issued a document] about public naming of astronomical objects. It stated, "IAU fully supports the involvement of the general public, whether directly or through an independent organized vote, in the naming of planetary satellites, newly discovered planets, and their host stars."

The caption above the comic states the fact above and then notes that the IAU immediately regret this decision. As we can see from [[Cueball|Cueball's]] question, from [[Ponytail]]'s facepalm, and the fact that even [[Megan]] is speechless, the suggestions are appalling. It becomes even worse when [[Hairbun]] tells them that an automatic filter has already been applied to the results, one designed to remove inappropriate entries that don't meet certain criteria. This implies that the list would have been even worse if presented in its unfiltered form (as seen below in the table).

The naming document also contained, amongst other things, guidelines that suggested names should meet. These include stipulations such as "16 characters or less", "preferably one word", being "pronounceable (in as many languages as possible)", "not too similar to an existing name of an astronomical object", avoiding commercial names, and being "respectful of intellectual property". If we go down the list, we can see that many of [[Randall|Randall's]] suggestions do indeed violate the guidelines. Which is part of the joke as it reflects the tendency of internet submissions to ignore such softly suggested guidelines.

The randomness and inappropriateness of the suggested names reflects the commonly expected response from anonymous submitters on the internet. Many forums and contests that call for online response and do not apply strict control over the responses receive similar collections of random, inappropriate and obscure submissions that are often only tangentially related to the original subject. For example, Greenpeace held a naming contest for one of the whales recently tagged in their research and preservation campaign and even after selecting the finalists the online voting resulted in naming the whale "Mr. Splashypants". PepsiCo had even less restrictive controls in their marketing campaign that asked the internet to name a new flavor of Mountain Dew. They had to shut down the contest in order to avoid naming the new beverage "Hitler did nothing wrong" which was the current leader at the time and only marginally the most inappropriate of the top ten voted suggestions. Even more recently is the case of {{w|Boaty McBoatface}}, in which the internet decided to dub a British research vessel "Boaty McBoatface". The boat was given the name {{w|RRS Sir David Attenborough}} in the end, with its Autonomous Underwater Vehicle being called "Boaty McBoatface".

The document also states that naming suggestions may be sent to the email that Randall included in the title text.

{| class="wikitable sortable"
! Star !! Planet !! Suggested Name !! Explanation
|-
! rowspan=7 | {{w|Gliese 667}}
| {{w|Gliese 667 Cb|b}}
| Space Planet
| A very unoriginal name; every planet is in space.{{Citation needed}}
|-
| {{w|Gliese 667 Cc|c}}
| PILF
| Pun of {{w|MILF pornography|MILF}}, i.e. ''Planet I'd Like to Fuck''. Planet c is a relatively hot planet, within the habitable zone.
|-
| {{w|Gliese 667 Cd|d}}
| A Star
| "A {{w|Star}}" is obviously a bad name for a planet. A* (pronounced "A star") is already used in astronomy, for example the Milky Way's black hole core is {{w|Sagittarius A*}}. "A star" is also the name for the character {{w|asterisk}} and the name of the popular {{w|A* search algorithm}} in computer science. It also suggests that the planet is a star.{{Citation needed}}
|-
| {{w|Gliese 667 Ce|e}}
| e'); DROP TABLE PLANETS;--
| A reference to {{w|SQL injection}}, riffing off of [[327: Exploits of a Mom]], which featured a schoolboy named <code>[[Little Bobby Tables|Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--]]</code>. The idea here is that the IAU would enter the name into their system and promptly lose all of their data pertaining to planets. Note that Planet e is located in the habitable zone of the star system.
|-
| {{w|Gliese 667 Cf|f}}
| Blogosphere
| rowspan = 2 | Weird ''{{w|blog}}''-related terms are a recurring theme in xkcd. See, for instance, [[181|comic 181]].
|-
| {{w|Gliese 667 Cg|g}}
| Blogodrome
|-
| [https://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_667c_h/ h]
| Earth
| Planet candidate h is about the mass of the Earth, and described as "tantalizing": [https://www.aanda.org/articles/aa/abs/2013/08/aa21331-13/aa21331-13.html A dynamically-packed planetary system around GJ with three super-Earths in its habitable zone]. See also ([[1231: Habitable Zone]]).
|-
! rowspan=5 | {{w|Tau Ceti}}
| [https://exoplanet.eu/catalog/tau_cet_b/ b]
| Sid Meier's Tau Ceti B
| This refers to the game {{w|Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri}}.
|-
| [https://exoplanet.eu/catalog/tau_cet_c/ c]
| Giant Dog Planet
| {{w|VY Canis Majoris}} is one of the largest known stars at our galaxy and belongs to the constellation {{w|Canis Major}}, Latin for "greater dog". The constellation further contains {{w|Sirius}}, the brightest star in the night sky, also called "Dog Star".
|-
| [https://exoplanet.eu/catalog/tau_cet_d/ d]
| Tiny Dog Planet
| cf. {{w|Canis Minor}}, Latin for "lesser dog", another constellation.
|-
| {{w|Tau Ceti e|e}}
| Phil Plainet
| A reference to {{w|Phil Plait}}, a.k.a. The Bad Astronomer.
|-
| {{w|Tau Ceti f|f}}
| Unicode Snowman
| The Unicode character <span style="font-size: 200%">☃</span> may be a reference to the planet's estimated surface temperature of -40 °C (-40 °F). However, this name would be pronounced differently (being a symbol, not a word or name) in different languages. Planets in our solar system are assigned to {{w|Astronomical symbols|astronomical symbols}} like <span style="font-size:150%">♁</span> for Earth or <span style="font-size:150%">♂</span> for Mars. (A unicode snowman is also referenced in Randall's book ''What If'', where it is keymapped to a laptop.)
|-
! {{w|Gliese 832}}
| {{w|Gliese 832 b|b}}
| Asshole Jupiter
| This massive planet orbits a {{w|red dwarf}} star at the longest known period of 3416 days at this category.
|-
! rowspan=6 | {{w|Gliese 581}}
| {{w|Gliese 581 b|b}}
| Waist-deep Cats
| Likely a reference to {{w|Lolcat}}s, which are a series of images of cats captioned with poorly-written and/or spelled English.
|-
| {{w|Gliese|c}}
| Planet #14
| About 200th discovered exoplanet (in 2007); reported to be the first potentially Earth-like planet in the habitable zone of its star, though that is in doubt now. The joke might be that like "Space Planet", "Planet #14" is a generic and unoriginal name. Also note that this is the 15th entry in the table so the numbering is {{w|Zero-based_numbering|zero-based}}.
An interesting (?) coincidence is that the 14th and 15th {{w|Definition of planet#Minor planets|Minor planets}} (then called asteroids) were discovered in 1851; see see {{w|List of minor planets: 1–1000}}. If they were to be counted among the planets of the {{w|Solar System}}, as was sometimes done then, the 14th known planetary body would be {{w| 7 Iris|Iris}} (discovered in 1847, a year before {{w|Neptune}}).
|-
| {{w|Gliese 581 d|d}}
| Ballderaan
| A {{w|wikt:balls|crude pun}} on the planet {{w|Alderaan}} from the ''{{w|Star Wars}}'' universe.
|-
| {{w|Gliese 581 e|e}}
| Eternia Prime
| {{w|Eternia}} is a fictional planet, venue of the ''{{w|Masters of the Universe}}'' animated series and toy collection.
|-
| {{w|Gliese 581 f|f}}
| Taupe Mars
| {{w|Kim Stanley Robinson}}'s award-winning {{w|Mars trilogy}} (''Red Mars, Green Mars, Blue Mars'' after various stages of {{w|terraformation}}). {{w|Taupe}} is a brownish-grey color.
|-
| {{w|Gliese|g}}
| Jelly-Filled Planet
| Possibly a reference to the conjecture that this tidally locked planet has an isolated habitable zone under the substellar point, akin to the pocket of jelly in a jelly doughnut.
|-
! rowspan=2 | {{w|Epsilon Eridani}}
| {{w|Epsilon Eridani b|b}}
| Skydot
| [https://skydot.lanl.gov SkyDOT] is the Sky Database for Objects in Time-Domain run by {{w|LANL}} for the {{w|U.S. Dept. of Energy}} and includes data for [https://skydot.lanl.gov/nsvs/star.php?num=14831575&mask=32004 Epsilon Eridani] that can be used to constrain the orbital parameters of ε Eri b. It may also refer to how objects in space may appear as bland, bright dots in the night sky.
|-
| {{w|Epsilon Eridani c#Planet_c|c}}
| Laser Noises
| A {{w|Laser}} does not produce {{w|Noise (electronics)|noise}} in the signal sense; it only works at a well-defined frequency. In science fiction films, however, laser weapon discharges are usually accompanied by sound ("pew pew" or the like). Sun-like Epsilon Eridani became a popular setting for science fiction after its publicity as a target of the {{w|Project Ozma}} experiment.
|-
! rowspan=2 | {{w|Gliese 176}}
| {{w|Gliese 176 b|b}}
| Pandora
| The mythological name {{w|Pandora}} fulfills most of IAU's guidelines and has been popular for planets in science fiction; most recently and famously is {{w|Pandora (Avatar)|the venue}} of James Cameron's ''{{w|Avatar (film)|Avatar}}'' (although actually it is not a planet but just a moon of a gas giant in Alfa Centauri A). It is also a hellish planet from {{w|Frank Herbert}}'s {{w|Frank Herbert bibliography#WorShip novels|WorShip}} series of novels, a jungle planet in Brothers Strugatsky's {{w|Noon Universe}} and the planet used in {{w|Borderlands (video game)|Borderlands Games}}.
|-
| [https://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_176_c/ c]
| Pantera
| Named for the {{w|Pantera|heavy metal band}}, which itself was named after an Italian sports car, the {{w|De Tomaso Pantera}}.
|-
! Kepler-61
| {{w|Kepler-61b|b}}
| GoldenPalace.com
| A gambling website, known for {{w|GoldenPalace.com|paying to have their name in unusual places}} (like forehead tattoos, species names...).
|-
! colspan=4 | Right column
|-
! rowspan=3 | {{w|Upsilon Andromedae}}
| {{w|Upsilon Andromedae c|c}}
| Stampy
| Most likely a reference to [https://www.youtube.com/user/stampylonghead stampylonghead], although it could be a reference to the elephant from the {{w|Simpsons}} episode {{w|Bart Gets an Elephant}}.
|-
| {{w|Upsilon Andromedae d|d}}
| Moonchild
| The name Bastian gives the Childlike Empress in {{w|The Neverending Story}}.
|-
| {{w|Upsilon Andromedae e|e}}
| Ham Sphere
| [https://www.hamsphere.com HamSphere] is a {{w|Amateur radio|Ham Radio}} simulator program. Ham radio uses designated radio frequencies for non-commercial exchange of messages and more. A pun of Hemisphere.
|-
! rowspan=3 | {{w|. Eridani|HD 20794}}
| [https://exoplanet.eu/catalog/hd_20794_b/ b]
| Cosmic Sands
| style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS', 'Comic Sans'" | A {{w|pun}} on the name of the font {{w|Comic Sans}}. (<span style="font-family:papyrus">See also: [[590: Papyrus/Font|590: Papyrus]].</span>)
|-
| [https://exoplanet.eu/catalog/hd_20794_c/ c]
| Legoland
| {{w|Legoland}} is a chain of {{w|theme park}}s owned by the {{w|Lego Group}}.
|-
| [https://exoplanet.eu/catalog/hd_20794_d/ d]
| Planet with Arms
| A reference to the [https://web.archive.org/web/20160119111332/https://www.thecolorsofmysoul.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/The-Hitchhikers-Guide-to-the-Galaxy.jpg early covers] of {{w|Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy}}? Could also be a reference to [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/birds-with-arms "Birds with Arms" meme].
|-
! {{w|HD 85512}}
| {{w|HD 85512 b|b}}
| Lax Morality
| Possibly a parody of science fiction in which certain planets are suggested to be uniformly... lax in morals (i.e. full of sex, drugs, etc.). See https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Planetville and related.
|-
! rowspan=6 | {{w|HD 40307}}
| {{w|HD 40307 b|b}}
| Good Planet
| Similar to the above, except with good planets. May also be yet another non-descriptive name, like "Space Planet" and "Planet #14".
|-
| {{w|HD|c}}
| ProblemLand
| See above.
|-
| {{w|HD 40307 d|d}}
| Slickle
| This is a reference to "[https://zdarsky.tumblr.com/post/2837139960 The Petals Fall Twice]", which was made as a humorous example of bad fan-fiction. The word itself is a portmanteau of "slowly", "licked", and "tickled". This may also be a reference to the Harry Potter currency, a “Sickle.”
|-
| {{w|HD 40307 e|e}}
| Spare Parts
| This suggests that the planet is "worthless" or "junk". This is false, of course. May be a reference to the fact it is a planet with nothing much different from the other planets.
|-
| {{w|HD 40307 f|f}}
| New Jersey VI
| Refers to the state of {{w|New Jersey}}; may be an insult to either.
|-
| {{w|HD|g}}
| How Do I Join the IAU
| This implies that the user "got lost" on the IAU website and thought that the "planet name suggestion" input was for general queries.
|-
! rowspan=3 | {{w|Gliese 163}}
| [https://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_163_b/ b]
| Neil Tyson's Mustache
| {{w|Neil deGrasse Tyson}} is a famous American astrophysicist and science communicator who does maintain a distinguished mustache.
|-
| {{w|Gliese|c}}
| help@gmail.com
| Similar to "How Do I Join the IAU", this implies that the user confused the "planet suggestion" text box for a new email they are trying to send.
|-
| [https://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_163_d/ d]
| Hair-Covered Planet
| Refers to the well-known {{w|Hairy ball theorem}} of topology.
|-
! {{w|Pi Mensae}}
| {{w|Pi Mensae b|b}}
| Moon Holder
| {{w|Jupiter}} has more than 60 discovered moons, and still counting... A planet ten times more massive ''must'' also be a Moon Holder.
|-
! {{w|HD 189733}}
| {{w|HD 189733 b|b}}
| Permadeath
| A well-characterized "{{w|Hot Jupiter}}" at a temperature range of 973 ± 33 K to 1,212 ± 11 K. The name refers to the feature of {{w|permanent death}} common in many RPGs and roguelikes. It is later mentioned in [[1276: Angular Size]].
|-
! {{w|Kepler-22}}
| {{w|Kepler-22 b|b}}
| Blue Ivy
| Blue Ivy Carter is the daughter of musicians {{w|Beyoncé}} and {{w|Jay-Z}}.
|-
! Kepler-3284
| b
| Blainsley
| A very small town in the United Kingdom, south of Edinburgh. Possibly chosen due to its insignificance?
|-
! Kepler-3255
| b
| Unicorn Thresher
| As far as we can tell, Kepler-3255b is in the vicinity of the constellation Monoceros, aka the Unicorn. Also a pun on {{w|Threshing machine|corn thresher}}.
|-
! Kepler-2418
| b
| Spherical Discworld
| {{w|The Discworld}} is the fictional setting for British author {{w|Terry Pratchett}}'s {{w|Discworld}} series of humorous fantasy novels; it consists of a large disc supported by four elephants themselves standing on top of a turtle flying through space. "Spherical Disc" would be an oxymoron.
|-
! Kepler-1686
| {{w|KOI-1686.01|b}}
| Emergency Backup Earth
| This candidate planet has an {{w|Earth Similarity Index}} of 0.89, making it one of the most habitable {{w|Kepler object of interest}}. The name suggests that it could be used as a backup in case something happened to our current planet.
|-
! Kepler-3010
| b
| Feeeoooooooop
| Possibly the onomatopoeia for something getting sucked into a black hole.
|-
! Kepler-4742
| b
| Liz
| ...Just a regular name (for a person, not a planet). Maybe a reference to the pet lizard on the Magic School Bus.
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Started redoing planet names stuff, will finish soon. Feel free to go ahead.}}
:[Text above the first frame of the comic:]
::August 2013:
:The International Astronomical Union
:decides to start naming exoplanets,
:and—for the first time ever—asks for
:suggestions from the general public.
:::They immediately regret this decision.
:[Ponytail is facepalming while Megan and Cueball are looking at a computer screen on a desk. Hairbun points to the screen.]
:Cueball‏‎: Can't you filter out the worst ones?
:Hairbun: This is '''''after''''' the filter!

:[Below is a table showing the list of planet names as seen on the computer screen with gray background around the edges of the table.]

:[The table is in two separate columns, but there is only headings over the left, so the right column is a direct continuation of the left. In the table it is mentioned when the right column begins. There is a small arrow pointing from the word "Planet" down to the second column of the table. The headings in the comic are not inside the table as they are here below. The text at the bottom of the left list seems to continue on below, at least the last entry is cut below the middle, although it is still easy to read. Similarly the text at the top right list, seems to continue from above, the top entry missing the very top of the text. This is as if the list is much longer and here is just shown part of the list. To further indicate this the first entry in the right list begins at "c" instead of at "b" which is else the case for all other instances.]

:[Left Columns]

:[Star] Gliese 667c
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Space Planet
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Pilf
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] A Star
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] e'); DROP TABLE PLANETS;--
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Blogosphere
::[Planet] g [Suggested Name] Blogodrome
::[Planet] h [Suggested Name] Earth
:[Star] Tau Ceti
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Sid Meier's Tau Ceti B
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Giant Dog PLanet
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Tiny Dog Planet
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Phil Plainet
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Unicode Snowman
:[Star] Gliese 832
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Asshole Jupiter
:[Star] Gliese 581
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Waist-Deep Cats
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Planet #14
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Ballderaan
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Eternia Prime
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Taupe Mars
::[Planet] g [Suggested Name]Jelly-Filled Planet
:[Star] Epsilon Eridani
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Skydot
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Laser Noises
:[Star] Gliese 176
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Pandora
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Pantera
:[Star] Kepler-61
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Goldenpalace.com
:[End Left Colomns]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics sharing name|Exoplanet Names 1]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball‏‎]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Little Bobby Tables]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Exoplanets]]
[[Category:Exoplanet Names]]

Talk:3151: Window Screen

2025-10-07T18:10:18Z

Black Hat's Hat:

The 'standard' and '2x' sized images had unexpected sizes, so an imagesize parameter has been added to render the image consistently with other comics on this website. See the web [https://web.archive.org/web/*/window_screen.png archive] for more details. --[[User:TheusafBOT|TheusafBOT]] ([[User talk:TheusafBOT|talk]]) 03:15, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
:Oh cool the bot can comment too [[User:TheTrainsKid|TheTrainsKid]] ([[User talk:TheTrainsKid|talk]]) 04:06, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
Is the comic not fitting into the section right on the original xkcd website? Is this some kind of meta joke? [[Special:Contributions/138.67.132.61|138.67.132.61]] 04:10, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
: Since this has changed during the day. I think it is intentional[[Special:Contributions/62.220.2.194|62.220.2.194]] 15:14, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
:This is Randall's mistake. Since comic [[1084: Server Problem#Trivia|1084]] from 2012, comics usually have two versions: normal and double resolution (2x). If you read on a high-DPI screen (like a phone) or zoom in, you'll see a high-resolution version of the comic, but if you read on a desktop or laptop without zooming in, you'll see the normal resolution. In this case, Randall accidentally uploaded the 2x version into ''both'' comics, making the normal one twice as big as it should be. If you zoom in just a tiny bit, it'll look normal again. <del>I'll add this in a Trivia section</del> <ins>Someone already did</ins>. --[[User:NeatNit|NeatNit]] ([[User talk:NeatNit|talk]]) 07:35, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
:I suspect Randall was inspired by the U.S. President's outsized ego insisting he deserves the Nobel Prize for Peace when he hasn't actually solved any international problems at all, and in the view of many has made things much worse.[[Special:Contributions/68.116.0.20|68.116.0.20]] 05:33, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
::...and in ''objective reality'' has made things much worse. --[[Special:Contributions/45.143.82.106|45.143.82.106]] 06:52, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
::It's such a shame that this is true. Well, obviously, but in frivolous terms too: it would be nice to have this just as a representation of how it feels to get a tricky task right, without referencing the tangerine toddler's nonsense. I think most people know that feeling that they've maxed out their efforts and achieved something brilliant (measured in terms of the how well or how badly the project should have been expected to go). Human effort is human effort, and so it feels like any successful overcoming of a problem is legitimately comparable with any other, if measured from the perspective of the one who performs the task. I love the way this handles that feeling. It was very difficult; I did it successfully; that was an impressive achievement. "It" could be stopping a war or making a window screen. [[User:Yorkshire Pudding|Yorkshire Pudding]] ([[User talk:Yorkshire Pudding|talk]]) 10:38, 7 October 2025 (UTC)

I suspect all the math could have been avoided if the screen were just carefully laid out on top of the window and cut to a matching shape. Why trig when you can trace? --[[Special:Contributions/45.143.82.106|45.143.82.106]] 06:53, 7 October 2025 (UTC)

It's easy when building a flat screen to accidentally get the tension wrong on one side and *generate* non-coplanarity--[[Special:Contributions/174.127.176.33|174.127.176.33]] 08:24, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
: Yeah, I agree with this interpretation of non-coplanarity. Probably the most aggravating part about trying to screen a window is getting the tension perfect so it lays flat. [[Special:Contributions/136.49.188.43|136.49.188.43]] 13:47, 7 October 2025 (UTC)

Is the "overly large image mistake" really a mistake, considering it’s about the "size" of an image displaying on a "screen"? {{unsigned ip|89.91.92.1|08:34, 7 October 2025 (UTC)}}
:There is the opinion that Randall made a mistake, but because Cueballs sentence just stops at "how well the screen fits... (the window)" and the panel DOES NOT fit it's window, I believe that this is intentional and the punchline of the comic [[Special:Contributions/195.49.224.20|195.49.224.20]] 09:36, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
::If so, can someone edit the image above to fit the punchline? EDIT: I did it.[[Special:Contributions/138.43.101.123|138.43.101.123]] 12:06, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
:::Aww [[Special:Contributions/138.43.101.123|138.43.101.123]] 18:10, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
: I don't see the problem. For me (on Firefox), while the hi-res image is loaded, it's displayed in the usual size on xkcd.com. I wouldn't even have noticed if I hadn't read it here. --[[User:Coconut Galaxy|Coconut Galaxy]] ([[User talk:Coconut Galaxy|talk]]) 13:00, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
:: Update: I see it on a different computer (also Firefox). Well that's weird.--[[User:Coconut Galaxy|Coconut Galaxy]] ([[User talk:Coconut Galaxy|talk]]) 13:37, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
::: It was displaying normally for me a few hours ago, but now, on the same browser on the same machine, it's outsized. [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 15:02, 7 October 2025 (UTC)

Interesting that Cueball has hair in the last two panels --[[User:Darth Vader|Darth Vader]] ([[User talk:Darth Vader|talk]]) 08:40, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
: Obviously with all the screen building he hasn't had time to shave his head. [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 09:28, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
: In the last two panels he also wears some kind of bracelet. [[Special:Contributions/82.54.66.129|82.54.66.129]] 10:59, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
:: "That's not a bracelet, its a <s>space station</s> band-aid." Cueball deserves the DIY Purple Heart.--[[User:Bilkie|Bilkie]] ([[User talk:Bilkie|talk]]) 13:52, 7 October 2025 (UTC)

Joke's on Cueball: this problem can be seen as mathematical, and Nobel Prizes famously exclude that field in theor awards (the closest is the relatively new award on Economy). He'd have a better chance asking for a Fields Medal.--[[Special:Contributions/94.73.49.72|94.73.49.72]]

One must imagine Norm Abrams happy. [[User:Fephisto|Fephisto]] ([[User talk:Fephisto|talk]]) 13:56, 7 October 2025 (UTC)

Whatever issue you guys have solved is still happening for me. Comic is huge. (on chromeOS) --'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al|<span style="color:#023020">DollarStoreBa'al</span>]]<sup>[[User_talk:DollarStoreBa'al|<span style="color:#000080">converse</span>]]</sup> 16:27, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
:ditto here. also chromeOS, specifically a Chromebook is that means any thing -- [[User:Black Hat's Hat|Black Hat's Hat]] ([[User talk:Black Hat's Hat|talk]]) 18:08, 7 October 2025 (UTC)

Talk:3151: Window Screen

2025-10-07T18:08:49Z

Black Hat's Hat:

The 'standard' and '2x' sized images had unexpected sizes, so an imagesize parameter has been added to render the image consistently with other comics on this website. See the web [https://web.archive.org/web/*/window_screen.png archive] for more details. --[[User:TheusafBOT|TheusafBOT]] ([[User talk:TheusafBOT|talk]]) 03:15, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
:Oh cool the bot can comment too [[User:TheTrainsKid|TheTrainsKid]] ([[User talk:TheTrainsKid|talk]]) 04:06, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
Is the comic not fitting into the section right on the original xkcd website? Is this some kind of meta joke? [[Special:Contributions/138.67.132.61|138.67.132.61]] 04:10, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
: Since this has changed during the day. I think it is intentional[[Special:Contributions/62.220.2.194|62.220.2.194]] 15:14, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
:This is Randall's mistake. Since comic [[1084: Server Problem#Trivia|1084]] from 2012, comics usually have two versions: normal and double resolution (2x). If you read on a high-DPI screen (like a phone) or zoom in, you'll see a high-resolution version of the comic, but if you read on a desktop or laptop without zooming in, you'll see the normal resolution. In this case, Randall accidentally uploaded the 2x version into ''both'' comics, making the normal one twice as big as it should be. If you zoom in just a tiny bit, it'll look normal again. <del>I'll add this in a Trivia section</del> <ins>Someone already did</ins>. --[[User:NeatNit|NeatNit]] ([[User talk:NeatNit|talk]]) 07:35, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
:I suspect Randall was inspired by the U.S. President's outsized ego insisting he deserves the Nobel Prize for Peace when he hasn't actually solved any international problems at all, and in the view of many has made things much worse.[[Special:Contributions/68.116.0.20|68.116.0.20]] 05:33, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
::...and in ''objective reality'' has made things much worse. --[[Special:Contributions/45.143.82.106|45.143.82.106]] 06:52, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
::It's such a shame that this is true. Well, obviously, but in frivolous terms too: it would be nice to have this just as a representation of how it feels to get a tricky task right, without referencing the tangerine toddler's nonsense. I think most people know that feeling that they've maxed out their efforts and achieved something brilliant (measured in terms of the how well or how badly the project should have been expected to go). Human effort is human effort, and so it feels like any successful overcoming of a problem is legitimately comparable with any other, if measured from the perspective of the one who performs the task. I love the way this handles that feeling. It was very difficult; I did it successfully; that was an impressive achievement. "It" could be stopping a war or making a window screen. [[User:Yorkshire Pudding|Yorkshire Pudding]] ([[User talk:Yorkshire Pudding|talk]]) 10:38, 7 October 2025 (UTC)

I suspect all the math could have been avoided if the screen were just carefully laid out on top of the window and cut to a matching shape. Why trig when you can trace? --[[Special:Contributions/45.143.82.106|45.143.82.106]] 06:53, 7 October 2025 (UTC)

It's easy when building a flat screen to accidentally get the tension wrong on one side and *generate* non-coplanarity--[[Special:Contributions/174.127.176.33|174.127.176.33]] 08:24, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
: Yeah, I agree with this interpretation of non-coplanarity. Probably the most aggravating part about trying to screen a window is getting the tension perfect so it lays flat. [[Special:Contributions/136.49.188.43|136.49.188.43]] 13:47, 7 October 2025 (UTC)

Is the "overly large image mistake" really a mistake, considering it’s about the "size" of an image displaying on a "screen"? {{unsigned ip|89.91.92.1|08:34, 7 October 2025 (UTC)}}
:There is the opinion that Randall made a mistake, but because Cueballs sentence just stops at "how well the screen fits... (the window)" and the panel DOES NOT fit it's window, I believe that this is intentional and the punchline of the comic [[Special:Contributions/195.49.224.20|195.49.224.20]] 09:36, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
::If so, can someone edit the image above to fit the punchline? EDIT: I did it.[[Special:Contributions/138.43.101.123|138.43.101.123]] 12:06, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
: I don't see the problem. For me (on Firefox), while the hi-res image is loaded, it's displayed in the usual size on xkcd.com. I wouldn't even have noticed if I hadn't read it here. --[[User:Coconut Galaxy|Coconut Galaxy]] ([[User talk:Coconut Galaxy|talk]]) 13:00, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
:: Update: I see it on a different computer (also Firefox). Well that's weird.--[[User:Coconut Galaxy|Coconut Galaxy]] ([[User talk:Coconut Galaxy|talk]]) 13:37, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
::: It was displaying normally for me a few hours ago, but now, on the same browser on the same machine, it's outsized. [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 15:02, 7 October 2025 (UTC)

Interesting that Cueball has hair in the last two panels --[[User:Darth Vader|Darth Vader]] ([[User talk:Darth Vader|talk]]) 08:40, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
: Obviously with all the screen building he hasn't had time to shave his head. [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 09:28, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
: In the last two panels he also wears some kind of bracelet. [[Special:Contributions/82.54.66.129|82.54.66.129]] 10:59, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
:: "That's not a bracelet, its a <s>space station</s> band-aid." Cueball deserves the DIY Purple Heart.--[[User:Bilkie|Bilkie]] ([[User talk:Bilkie|talk]]) 13:52, 7 October 2025 (UTC)

Joke's on Cueball: this problem can be seen as mathematical, and Nobel Prizes famously exclude that field in theor awards (the closest is the relatively new award on Economy). He'd have a better chance asking for a Fields Medal.--[[Special:Contributions/94.73.49.72|94.73.49.72]]

One must imagine Norm Abrams happy. [[User:Fephisto|Fephisto]] ([[User talk:Fephisto|talk]]) 13:56, 7 October 2025 (UTC)

Whatever issue you guys have solved is still happening for me. Comic is huge. (on chromeOS) --'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al|<span style="color:#023020">DollarStoreBa'al</span>]]<sup>[[User_talk:DollarStoreBa'al|<span style="color:#000080">converse</span>]]</sup> 16:27, 7 October 2025 (UTC)
:ditto here. also chromeOS, specifically a Chromebook is that means any thing [[User:Black Hat's Hat|Black Hat's Hat]] ([[User talk:Black Hat's Hat|talk]]) 18:08, 7 October 2025 (UTC)

what if? articles

2025-10-07T16:50:52Z

Black Hat's Hat: Added better summaries of the answers for What If 2 chapters 62 and 63, Walking on the Sun and Lemon Drops and Gumdrops. Im going to keep saying this for a while but I'm new and not super great at editing yet. Feel free to revert to change my edits

<noinclude>{{DISPLAYTITLE:''What If?'' chapters}}:''For other instances of this title, see [[What If (disambiguation)]].''<noinclude>
{{incomplete|Most of the [[#1-13|books-exclusive questions]] are still too short! They should be a summary of the answer, not just 1-2 sentences. [[#1-13|''(jump to the book-exclusive chapters)'']] ''(For help with the templates, see the '''''[[What If? chapters#Editors|Editors section]]'''''!''}}

</noinclude>This is an index of all articles featured in Randall Munroe's ''what if?'' [[what if? (blog)|blog]] and [[:Category:Books|book series]]. For each article, the original question and a summary of Randall's answer are provided. If an article is available on the blog, you can click the title to read it in full. You can use the columns to sort the table alphabetically, by release date on the blog or YouTube, or by chapter in the books. The thumbnail is only available for articles published on the blog. If the title of a blog article differs from the one in the book, the latter will be provided in the Book column. A much simpler list that doesn't include book-exclusive articles can be found in the [https://what-if.xkcd.com/archive archive section] of the blog.<noinclude>
[[Category:Incomplete explanations| ]]</noinclude>
<div style="clear: both"></div>
{| class="sortable wikitable"
! rowspan="2" scope="col" class="unsortable" | Thumbnail
! rowspan="2" scope="col" data-sort-type=text| Title
! rowspan="2" scope="col" data-sort-type=text| Reader's question
! rowspan="2" scope="col" class="unsortable" | Randall's answer
! colspan="3"| Article available in... <noinclude></noinclude> ''(click to sort)'' <noinclude></noinclude>
|-
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | Blog
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | Books
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | YouTube
|-
|[[File:Relativistic Baseball.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|1|Relativistic Baseball}}'''
|''"What would happen if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light?"''
<div align="right">—Ellen McManis</div>
|The ball would create plasma and reach home plate in about 70 nanoseconds. The result would be some kind of nuclear explosion, destroying everything about a mile from the field. A ruling of "{{w|hit by pitch}}" could be interpreted in this situation.
|{{blog|1|2012|07|10}}
|{{book|1|2}}
|{{book|5|2024|02|06|3EI08o-IGYk|What if you threw a baseball at nearly light speed?}}
|-
|[[File:SAT Guessing.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|2|SAT Guessing}}'''
|''"What if everyone who took the SAT guessed on every multiple-choice question? How many perfect scores would there be?"''
<div align="right">—Rob Balder</div>
|No one would get a perfect score. The odds of guessing correctly on every question would be less than the odds of every living ex-president at that time and the main cast of [[:Category:Firefly|Firefly]] getting struck by lightning on the same day. To put this as a number, the odds of this happening would be less than 1/10^100 (one googol).
|{{blog|2|2012|07|10|7d early}}
|{{book|1|66}}
|
|-
|[[File:Yoda.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|3|Yoda}}'''
|''"How much Force power can Yoda output?"''
<div align="right">—Ryan Finnie</div>
|Yoda can output about 19.2 kilowatts, or 25 horsepower. "Yoda power" would cost about $2/hour.
|{{blog|3|2012|07|17}}
|{{book|1|32}}
|
|-
|[[File:A Moles of Moles.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|4|A Mole of Moles}}'''
|''"What would happen if you were to gather a mole (unit of measurement) of moles (the small furry critter) in one place?"''
<div align="right">—Sean Rice</div>
|In physics, a {{w|mole (unit)|mole}} is a number that equals approximately 6.022 × 10<sup>23</sup>. If this amount of moles (the furry animals) were put in space, they would form a sphere a little bit larger than our Moon with about the same gravity as Pluto. The surface would freeze and trap the interior warmth, causing geysers of hot meat and methane.
|{{blog|4|2012|07|24}}
|{{book|1|10}}
|{{book|29|2025|8|19|lLlwvmu1ZeA|What if you had a mole of moles?}}
|-
|[[File:Robot Apocalypse.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|5|Robot Apocalypse}}'''
|''"What if there was a robot apocalypse? How long would humanity last?"''
<div align="right">—Rob Lombino</div>
|Humanity would most likely survive. Most robots can easily be subdued because technology hasn’t been developed enough to allow them to walk, evade being destroyed, and kill us efficiently. They could decide to use our nuclear weapons, but that would hurt them more than us.
|{{blog|5|2012|07|31}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Glass Half Empty.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|6|Glass Half Empty}}'''
|''"What if a glass of water was, all of a sudden, literally half empty?"''
<div align="right">—Vittorio Iacovella</div>
|If the vacuum were on the bottom half, it would explode, but if it were on the top half, the air rushes in and it becomes normal water.
|{{blog|6|2012|08|07}}
|{{book|1|26}}
|{{book|16|2024|09|24|0EytSWiKrFg|What if a glass of water were LITERALLY half empty?}}
|-
|[[File:Everybody Out.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|7|Everybody Out}}'''
|''"Is there enough energy to move the entire current human population off-planet?"''
<div align="right">—Adam</div>
|No, at least not without starving to death quickly and leaving our pets, belongings, and everything else behind. The best way to do it is either with a space tether or to ride the shockwave of a nuclear bomb, but the former lacks a good material and the latter is literally ''riding the shockwave of a nuclear bomb''. In any case, highly impractical.
|{{blog|7|2012|08|14}}
|{{book|1|35}}
|
|-
|[[File:Everybody Jump.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|8|Everybody Jump}}'''
|''"What would happen if everyone on earth stood as close to each other as they could and jumped, everyone landing on the ground at the same instant?"''
<div align="right">—Thomas Bennett (and many others)</div>
|Earth would be unaffected, but almost all humans would probably be wiped out, due to the congestion of everybody being in one place at once. Utilities and everything requiring human oversight would eventually fail because no one was maintaining them. If airports became functional, only the largest would be able to efficiently get everybody home. Only the people at the edges of the giant crowd would be able to escape, with the rest almost certainly dying due to suffocation. The Earth would then be a lawless wasteland, with a severely diminished population trying to restore humanity to its former glory.
|{{blog|8|2012|08|21}}
|{{book|1|9}}
|{{book|9|2024|04|16|p2M8Y0z9Rl0|What if everyone jumped at once?}}
|-
|[[File:Soul Mates.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|9|Soul Mates}}'''
|''"What if everyone actually had only one soul mate, a random person somewhere in the world?"''
<div align="right">—Benjamin Staffin</div>
|Assuming the soul mate can exist at any time, there is a high chance that you would not find your soul mate. Around 100 billion humans have ever existed, but only 8 billion of those people are alive today. This means that there is an over 90% chance that your soul mate is long dead. This is made worse by the fact that people will also be born in the future, and your soul mate could live very far in the future.

Even if it is assumed that someone's soul mate must be alive while they are alive, there's still a very low chance of finding your soul mate due to the sheer amount of people in the world. Even if you find them, they may speak another language and be unable to understand you.

Jobs would also be affected, with very social jobs such as waiters, cashiers, or traffic guards being highly sought-after.
|{{blog|9|2012|08|28}}
|{{book|1|6}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cassini.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|10|Cassini}}'''
|''"What would the world be like if the land masses were spread out the same way as now - only rotated by an angle of 90 degrees?"''
<div align="right">—Socke</div>
|Hard to tell with any sort of certainty, but North America remains the same (just flipped, so Canada is tropical), South America becomes more like Europe before this question, Asia is flipped just like North America was, Europe becomes more like southeast Asia, Africa's climate is essentially rotated 90 degrees and East Africa gets a lot more tornadoes, Australia is colder and wetter, and Antarctica becomes a tropical rainforest. Of course, the biosphere collapses due to the shuffling and the ice caps (prematurely) melt, while also making certain wildlife appear elsewhere than normal.
|{{blog|10|2012|09|04}}
|
|{{book|23|2025|04|01|WH4g1ptJ-70|What if the Earth rotated 90 degrees?}}
|-
|[[File:Droppings.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|11|Droppings}}'''
|''"If you went outside and lay down on your back with your mouth open, how long would you have to wait until a bird pooped in it?"''
<div align="right">—Adrienne Olson</div>
|Assuming an even distribution of all birds across the Earth's surface and a frequency of 1 poop per hour, it would take you about 195 years on average. However, those assumptions are unrealistic: It would probably be closer to a few hours if you were laying under an area where large amounts of birds are common, such as a power line or tree.
|{{blog|11|2012|09|11}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Raindrop.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|12|Raindrop}}'''
|''"What if a rainstorm dropped all of its water in a single giant drop?"''
<div align="right">—Michael McNeill</div>
|The surrounding area would be obliterated via the violent rush of crushing water, causing flash flooding in the surrounding area. There would be mass confusion for many following years.
|{{blog|12|2012|09|18}}
|{{book|1|65}}
|
|-
|[[File:Laser Pointer.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|13|Laser Pointer}}'''
|''"If every person on Earth aimed a laser pointer at the Moon at the same time, would it change color?"''
<div align="right">—Peter Lipowicz</div>
|It would take lots of power, but yes, assuming you want to drain the Earth's oil and cover Asia in megawatt lasers. Going even further in power level fries the Earth and launches the Moon into the solar system.
|{{blog|13|2012|09|25}}
|{{book|1|7}}
|{{book|18|2024|11|05|JqFSGkFPipM|What if everyone pointed a laser at the moon?}}
|-
| rowspan="7" |[[File:Short Answer Section.png|100px]]
| rowspan="7" |'''{{What If|14|Short Answer Section}}'''
|''"How long would the Sun last if a giant water hose were focused upon it?"''
<div align="right">—Austin Dickey</div>
|The Sun would actually burn brighter due to water being mostly hydrogen (main fusion fuel of stars) and eventually become a black hole with all the mass of the water.
| rowspan="7"{{blog|14|2012|10|02}}
| rowspan="7" |
| rowspan="7" |
|-
|''"What if you shined a flashlight (or a laser) into a sphere made of one-way mirror glass?"''
<div align="right">—Chase Montgomery</div>
|One-way glass does not exist. The light shines through just like normal glass.
|-
|''"If Michael Phelps could hold his breath indefinitely, how long would it take for him to reach the lowest point in the ocean and back if he swam straight down and then straight back up?"''
<div align="right">—Jimmy Morey</div>
|Michael Phelps would die somewhere between 100 and 400 meters of depth. If he were immune to pressure, then it would take 3 hours to swim to the bottom of the Marianas Trench and back.
|-
|''"In the first Superman movie, Superman flies around Earth so fast that it begins turning in the opposite direction. This somehow turns back time [... ] How much energy would someone flying around the Earth have to exert in order to reverse the Earth's rotation?"''
<div align="right">—Aidan Blake</div>
|Superman wasn't pushing the Earth. He was flying {{w|Superluminal motion|superluminally}} and was thus travelling back through time.
|-
|''"How fast would you have to go in your car to run a red light claiming that it appeared green to you due to the Doppler Effect?"''
<div align="right">—Yitzi Turniansky</div>
|The {{w|Doppler Effect}} is when waves (such as light or sound) change based on movement or position. You would need to go about one sixth of the {{w|speed of light}}.
|-
|''"What would happen if you opened a portal between Boston (sea level) and Mexico City (elev. 8000+ feet)?"''
<div align="right">—Jake G.</div>
|There would be winds of 440 mph (708 km/h) sucking Boston into Mexico City.
|-
|''"When my wife and I started dating she invited me over for dinner at one time. Her kitchen had something called Bauhaus chairs, which are full of holes, approx 5-6 millimeters in diameter in both back and seat. During this lovely dinner I was forced to liberate a small portion of wind and was relieved that I managed to do so very discretely. Only to find that the chair I sat on converted the successful silence into a perfect, and loud, flute note. We were both (luckily) amazed and surprised and I have often wondered what the odds are for something like that happening. We kept the chairs for five years but despite laborious attempts it couldn't be reproduced."''
<div align="right">—R. D.</div>
|This... isn’t actually a question, but thank you for sharing!
|-
|[[File:Mariana Trench Explosion.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|15|Mariana Trench Explosion}}'''
|''"What if you exploded a nuclear bomb (say, the Tsar Bomba) at the bottom of the Marianas Trench?"''
<div align="right">—Evin Sellin</div>
|Surprisingly, not much! Large waves already disappear quickly when created by surface explosions, and moving the detonation underwater only lessens the effect. If you exploded a Tsar Bomba at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, the resulting eruption would create massive bubbles before turning into warm water and debris.
|{{blog|15|2012|10|09}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="6" |[[File:Today's topic- Lightning.png|100px]]
| rowspan="6" |'''{{What If|16|Today's topic: Lightning}}'''
|''"How dangerous is it to be in a pool during a thunderstorm?"''
<div align="right">—Jay Gengelbach</div>
|Pretty dangerous, as if the pool was hit, 20,000 amps of electricity from the lightning bolt would spread across the surface and shock you. Randall recommends that one should stay at least 12 meters away from a pool during a thunderstorm.
| rowspan="6"{{blog|16|2012|10|16}}
| rowspan="6"{{book|1|19|Lightning}}
| rowspan="6" |
|-
|''"What would happen if you were taking a shower or standing under a waterfall when you were struck by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—Same3Chords</div>
|The droplets of water wouldn’t be dangerous, but a tub of water or any puddle you stand in ''will'' be dangerous.
|-
|''"What would happen if you were in a boat, plane or a submarine that got hit by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—Soobnauce</div>
|A boat would be as safe as a car if it had a cabin and lightning protection, while a submarine would be completely safe. The plane was not mentioned.
|-
|''"What if you were changing the light at the top of a radio tower and lightning struck? Or what if you were doing a backflip? Or standing in a graphite field? Or looking straight up at the bolt?"''
<div align="right">—Danny Wedul</div>
|You would get shocked normally if you were on a radio tower, doing a backflip, or looking straight up. These all don’t matter much. Randall doesn’t know what a graphite field is and chose not to answer that part of the question.
|-
|''"What would happen if lightning struck a bullet in midair?"''
<div align="right">—Timothy Campbell</div>
|The bullet might be heated a little bit, but it’s travelling too fast to have any impact.
|-
|''"What if you were flashing your BIOS during a thunderstorm and you got hit by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—NJSG</div>
|It would bring you to “Microsoft BOB®”, “Gateway 2000 Edition”.
|-
|[[File:Green Cows.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|17|Green Cows}}'''
|''"If cows could photosynthesize, how much less food would they need?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|They would need 4% less food. There simply isn't enough area on the cow for photosynthesis to provide all its energy requirements.
|{{blog|17|2012|10|23}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:BB Gun.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|18|BB Gun}}'''
|''"In Armageddon, a NASA guy comments that a plan to shoot a laser at the asteroid is like “shooting a b.b. gun at a freight train.” What would it take to stop an out-of-control freight train using only b.b. guns?"''
<div align="right">—Charles James O'Keefe</div>
|This would normally be impossible. However, with enough people shooting the train, it can happen. This would require about 100,000 people shooting, distributed over 2 kilometers of track, each firing a few dozen rounds once the train comes close enough. This would, eventually, be enough to bring the train to a stop.
|{{blog|18|2012|10|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Tie Vote.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|19|Tie Vote}}'''
|''"What if there's LITERALLY a tie?"''
<div align="right">—Nate Silver (<span class="plainlinks">[https://twitter.com/fivethirtyeight/status/154434288287363072 '''Twitter, January 4th, 2012''']</span>)</div>
|In the case of each candidate getting the exact same amount of votes on Election Day, most states would randomly pick one, whether it be through tossing a coin, drawing a name or straws. The chances of this happening in 9 battleground states would be about equal to the elector drawing a name from a hat, then being smashed by a bale of cocaine by drug smugglers and obliterated by a meteorite impact while being swept away in a tornado.
|{{blog|19|2012|11|06}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Diamond.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|20|Diamond}}'''
|''"If a meteor made out of diamond and 100 feet in diameter was traveling at the speed of light and hit the earth, what would happen to it?"''
<div align="right">—Aidan Smith, Age 8, via his father Jeff</div>
|Nothing made of matter can travel at the speed of light, but at the closest speed observed (99.99999999999999999999951% of the speed of light, the speed of the {{w|Oh-My-God particle}}), the Earth would explode with enough force to obliterate the entire Solar System.
|{{blog|20|2012|11|13}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Machine Gun Jetpack.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|21|Machine Gun Jetpack}}'''
|''"Is it possible to build a jetpack using downward firing machine guns?"''
<div align="right">—Rob B</div>
|You'd need a Russian 30 mm rotary cannon to do it optimally, and the excessive force would definitely hurt you. If you braced the rider, created an aerodynamic craft strong enough to survive the acceleration, and cooled the craft, you'd be able to jump mountains.
|{{blog|21|2012|11|20}}
|{{book|1|14|Machine-Gun Jetpack}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cost of Pennies.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|22|Cost of Pennies}}'''
|''"If you carry a penny in your coin tray, how long would it take for that penny to cost you more than a cent in extra gas?"''
<div align="right">—Leto Atreides</div>
|140,000 miles if gas was the only cost involved. The exercise of picking up the penny can prolong your lifespan, but you've wasted valuable seconds reading this article.
|{{blog|22|2012|11|27}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="7" |[[File:Short Answer Section II.png|100px]]
| rowspan="7" |'''{{What If|23|Short Answer Section II}}'''
|''"If my printer could literally print out money, would it have that big an effect on the world?"''
<div align="right">—Derek O’Brien</div>
| Using the printer, you could make about 200 million dollars per year, depending on the type of printer. This would actually be the perfect sweet spot for you, as it would be enough to make you very, very rich, but not enough to have any effect on the world. The United States [https://www.bep.gov/currency/production-figures/annual-production-reports prints approximately $160 billion per year], so $200 million a year would be nothing more than a drop in the bucket.
| rowspan="7"{{blog|23|2012|12|04}}
| rowspan="7"{{book|1|18|Short-Answer Section}}
| rowspan="7" |
|-
|''"What would happen if you exploded a nuclear bomb in the eye of a hurricane? Would the storm cell be immediately vaporized?"''
<div align="right">—Rupert Bainbridge (and hundreds of others)</div>
|No. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has [https://www.aoml.noaa.gov/hrd-faq/#hurricane-mitigation:~:text=Stop%20a%20Hurricane%3F-,Nuclear%20Weapons,-Adding%20Hygroscopic%20Particles published a response] explaining why it wouldn't work.
|-
|''"If everyone put little turbine generators on the downspouts of their houses and businesses, how much power would we generate? Would we ever generate enough power to offset the cost of the generators?"''
<div align="right">—Damien</div>
|If it's very rainy, it would generate 800 watts of power, which isn't enough to offset the cost of the generators.
|-
|''"Using only pronounceable letter combinations, how long would names have to be to give each star in the universe a unique one word name?"''
<div align="right">—Seamus Johnson</div>
|About 24 characters.
|-
|''"I bike to class sometimes. It's annoying biking in the wintertime, because it's so cold. How fast would I have to bike for my skin to warm up the way a spacecraft heats up during reentry?"''
<div align="right">—David Nai</div>
|You'd have to bike at about 200 m/s, which would make your commute very fast indeed. However, the amount of energy required to bike at that speed would cause you to die from overexertion. This might work if you didn't exert any energy, however.
|-
|''"How much physical space does the internet take up?"''
<div align="right">—Max L</div>
|Using humanity's total produced storage space from the last few years as an upper bound, and assuming 3.5" drives, the Internet is less than the size of an oil tank.
|-
|''"What if you strapped C4 to a boomerang? Could this be an effective weapon, or would it be as stupid as it sounds?"''
<div align="right">—Chad Macziewski</div>
|Strapping C4 to a boomerang does not sound like an effective weapon. The weapon as depicted in the image would have terrible aerodynamics, and would not fly an easily predictable trajectory. C4 is, by itself, an inert substance which would need some form of detonator to actually explode, in which case it would depend upon how you set it up (e.g. timer or inertial trigger) and at what point in its flight this would activate. ''If'' this happened as it returns (or flies past, if thrown reasonably correctly but being unable or unwilling to catch it), it might kill or injure the thrower and/or those nearby. There were many unstated details as to how the proposal would be implemented, as Randall lampshades in his open answer.
|-
|[[File:Model Rockets.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|24|Model Rockets}}'''
|''"How many model rocket engines would it take to launch a real rocket into space?"''
<div align="right">—Greg Schock, PA</div>
|It would take about 65,000, but they’d have to be layered in a cone shape with about 30 stages so the vehicle has thrust for long enough. It could carry 60 kg, much of that spent on all the parts of the rocket that aren't the engine. And this contraption would not attain orbital velocity, but rapidly fall back to Earth after briefly leaving the atmosphere. Accelerating to orbital velocity is a whole other class of problem and cannot be achieved using model rocket engines in any practical way.
|{{blog|24|2012|12|11}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Three Wise Men.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|25|Three Wise Men}}'''
|''"The story of the three wise men got me wondering: What if you did walk towards a star at a fixed speed? What path would you trace on the Earth? Does it converge to a fixed cycle?"''
<div align="right">—N. Murdoch</div>
|No, but the paths they would take would make some really cool patterns due to various factors, such as the Earth's rotation and its position changing in its orbit around the Sun.
|{{blog|25|2012|12|18}}
|
|{{book|22|2025|03|04|YL2VNtus4xk|What if the wise men kept walking after Jesus’s birth?}}
|-
|[[File:Leap Seconds.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|26|Leap Seconds}}'''
|''"Every now and then we have to insert a leap second because the Earth’s rotation is slowing down. Could we speed up Earth’s rotation, so that we do not need Leap Seconds?"''
<div align="right">—Anton (Berlin, Germany)</div>
|The only real way to do this is by hitting Earth with asteroids; all other ideas would be too difficult or wouldn’t work. With 50,000 planets B-612 hitting the Earth each second and a few assumptions, we could stop worrying about leap seconds (mostly because it would deliver the energy of about one dinosaur-killer asteroid every couple days, wiping out life on Earth quite quickly)
|{{blog|26|2012|12|31|6d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Death Rates.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|27|Death Rates}}'''
|''"If one randomly chosen extra person were to die each second somewhere on Earth, what impact would it have on the world population?"''
<div align="right">—Guy Petzall</div>
|The world population would continue to grow, though 40% more slowly. Pilots, drivers, and surgeons would die en route and mid-operation, but these would be comparable to usual accident rates and handled fairly easily.
|{{blog|27|2013|01|08|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Steak Drop.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|28|Steak Drop}}'''
|''"From what height would you need to drop a steak for it to be cooked when it hit the ground?"''
<div align="right">—Alex Lahey</div>
|From the very edge of the atmosphere, but even in that case it might not be fully cooked, as the steak will have to pass through parts of the atmosphere that are freezing cold and the parts of the fall where heat is being applied are more likely to char and disintegrate the steak than cook it.
|{{blog|28|2013|01|15}}
|{{book|1|23}}
|
|-
|[[File:Spent Fuel Pool.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|29|Spent Fuel Pool}}'''
|''"What if I took a swim in a typical spent nuclear fuel pool? Would I need to dive to actually experience a fatal amount of radiation? How long could I stay safely at the surface?"''
<div align="right">—Jonathan Bastien-Filiatrault</div>
|As long as you don't touch strange things and you don't swim too close to the fuel rods, it would be just like a regular pool. Except for the fact you would never make it to the pool, as the guards would notice and shoot you to death.
|{{blog|29|2013|01|22}}
|{{book|1|3}}
|{{book|8|2024|04|02|EFRUL7vKdU8|What if you swam in a nuclear storage pool?}}
|-
|[[File:Interplanetary Cessna.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|30|Interplanetary Cessna}}'''
|''"What would happen if you tried to fly a normal Earth airplane above different Solar System bodies?"''
<div align="right">—Glen Chiacchieri</div>
|It would be difficult to fly on Mars, so you would crash. The gas giants also have this problem, and you would freeze and tumble. Titan and Venus are the best bets, but Titan is cold and Venus is full of sulfuric acid.
|{{blog|30|2013|01|29}}
|{{book|1|30}}
|
|-
|[[File:FedEx Bandwidth.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|31|FedEx Bandwidth}}'''
|''"When - if ever - will the bandwidth of the Internet surpass that of FedEx?"''
<div align="right">—Johan Öbrink</div>
|Probably never, unless the Internet's transfer rate grows faster than storage rates, the Internet won't surpass an army of FedEx trucks. However, the ping times would be ''absurd''.
|{{blog|31|2013|02|05}}
|{{book|1|44}}
|
|-
| rowspan="3" |[[File:Hubble.png|100px]]
| rowspan="3" |'''{{What If|32|Hubble}}'''
| rowspan="3" |''"If the Hubble telescope were aimed at the Earth, how detailed would the images be?"''
<div align="right">—Kyle Rankin</div>
| rowspan="3" |Very blurry because Hubble isn't able to rotate fast enough to track it on the surface of the Earth. Hubble is the wrong tool for the job, you're thinking of a spy satellite.
| rowspan="3" {{blog|32|2013|02|12}}
| rowspan="3" |
|{{book|1|2023|11|29|2LSyizrk8-0|What if we aimed the Hubble Telescope at Earth?}}
|-
|{{book|10|short-video=yes|2025|09|16|TgA0lXEW7dw|Could the Hubble take a photo of you?}}
|-
|{{book|10|short-video=yes|2025|09|23|i6e4NnFnQi0|How detailed would the Hubbles images be if it looked at Earth?}}
|-
|[[File:Ships.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|33|Ships}}'''
|''"How much would the sea level fall if every ship were removed all at once from the Earth's waters?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Toje</div>
|The sea level would fall by about 6 microns, slightly more than the diameter of a strand of spider silk. However, since the oceans are currently rising at about 3.3 millimeters per year due to global warming, the water would be back up to its original average level in 16 hours.
|{{blog|33|2013|02|19}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:what if? Twitter.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|34|Twitter}}'''
|''"How many unique English tweets are possible? How long would it take for the population of the world to read them all out loud?"''
<div align="right">—Eric H., Hopatcong, NJ</div>
|Since there are 2 * 10<sup>46</sup> meaningful English tweets, reading them all would take 10,000 "eternal years", with an eternal day being the length of time needed to wear down a mountain if a bird scraped 1 grain every thousand years.
|{{blog|34|2013|02|26}}
|{{book|1|50}}
|
|-
|[[File:Hair Dryer.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|35|Hair Dryer}}'''
|''"What would happen if a hair dryer with continuous power was turned on and put in an airtight 1x1x1 meter box?"''
<div align="right">—Nathan Terrell</div>
|The box would heat until the ground starts melting, and going further, it would eventually create updrafts and bounce around everywhere. Turning it off and on again would launch it out of the sky in glowing fury.
|{{blog|35|2013|03|05}}
|{{book|1|11}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cornstarch.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|36|Cornstarch}}'''
|''"How much cornstarch can I rinse down the drain before unpleasant things start to happen?"''
<div align="right">—Anna R., Fort Wayne, IN</div>
|It depends what you consider unpleasant. Your sink will clog and your house will flood with oobleck, but if you really really like cornstarch then nothing unpleasant will happen.
|{{blog|36|2013|03|12}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Supersonic Stereo.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|37|Supersonic Stereo}}'''
|''"What if you somehow managed to make a stereo travel at twice the speed of sound, would it sound backwards to someone who was just casually sitting somewhere as it flies by?"''
<div align="right">—Tim Currie</div>
|Assuming the stereo is indestructible, yes. Although you’d only get it supersonic for less than a second, and the music would be heavily compressed after the sonic boom.
|{{blog|37|2013|03|19}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:what if? Voyager.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|38|Voyager}}'''
|''"With today's technology, would it be possible to launch an unmanned mission to retrieve Voyager I?"''
<div align="right">—Elliot Bennett</div>
|You could ''reach'' Voyager I with some well-timed gravity assists from Jupiter and Saturn, but getting back would require an ''absurd'' amount of fuel. You could use ion fields to require less fuel, but they also produce less thrust.
|{{blog|38|2013|03|26}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Hockey Puck.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|39|Hockey Puck}}'''
|''"How hard would a puck have to be shot to be able to knock the goalie himself backwards into the net?"''
<div align="right">—Tom</div>
|This can't really happen, due to the size and weight difference between the goalie and a hockey puck. You'd need to fire an object at Mach 8 to knock the goalie back, but firing a puck at that speed would char the puck while air resistance would slow it down. If you actually did fire a hockey puck at a goalie at high speeds, it would have the same effect as hitting a cake with a tomato as hard as you can.
|{{blog|39|2013|04|02}}
|{{book|1|24}}
|
|-
|[[File:Pressure Cooker.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|40|Pressure Cooker}}'''
|''"Am I right to be afraid of pressure cookers? What's the worst thing that can happen if you misuse a pressure cooker in an ordinary kitchen?"''
<div align="right">—Delphine Lourtau</div>
|Ordinarily, the worst that can happen is the lid blowing off and superheated liquid spraying everywhere, but you can use one to make {{w|Dioxygen difluoride}}, which is much worse.
|{{blog|40|2013|04|9}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Go West.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|41|Go West}}'''
|''"If everybody in the US drove west, could we temporarily halt continental drift?"''
<div align="right">—Derek</div>
|No. While technically the car fleet would outpace the continental drift, the continental drift is being powered by the forces in the Earth's mantle, and these forces outmatch the car fleet by millions of times.
|{{blog|41|2013|04|16}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Longest Sunset.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|42|Longest Sunset}}'''
|''"What is the longest possible sunset you can experience while driving, assuming we are obeying the speed limit and driving on paved roads?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Berg</div>
|The longest way you can experience a sunset is by driving on certain roads in Norway and Finland for 95 minutes, as this is where the best method to outpace the Sun works (outpacing {{w|Terminator (solar)|the terminator}}). A similar concept has been explored in comic [[162: Angular Momentum]].
|{{blog|42|201304|23}}
|{{book|1|52}}
|
|-
|[[File:Train Loop.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|43|Train Loop}}'''
|''"Could a high-speed train run through a vertical loop, like a rollercoaster, with the passengers staying comfortable?"''
<div align="right">—Gero Walter</div>
|Even if we change the requirements to just the passengers surviving, this isn't plausible. A train can't complete a full loop without the loop being too small, making the train move too fast and making every passenger die from the g-forces involved.
|{{blog|43|2013|04|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:High Throw.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|44|High Throw}}'''
|''"How high can a human throw something?"''
<div align="right">—Irish Dave on the Isle of Man</div>
|Using estimations and aerodynamics calculations, Aroldis Champman (holder of the record for fastest pitch) could probably throw up to 16 giraffes high if he was using a golf ball. Unless you count letting go of balloons, of course.
|{{blog|44|2013|05|07}}
|{{book|1|38}}
|
|-
|[[File:ISS Music Video.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|45|ISS Music Video}}'''
|''"Is [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaOC9danxNo '''this'''] the most expensive music video ever?"''
<div align="right">—Various Youtube commenters</div>
|No. If the construction cost of the setpiece is how this is measured, then it would be U2's "Last Night on Earth" on a section of Interstate Highway. If not, then it doesn't even come close to Thriller.
|{{blog|45|2013|05|14}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Bowling Ball.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|46|Bowling Ball}}'''
|''"I've been told that if the Earth were shrunk down to the size of a bowling ball, it would be smoother than said bowling ball. My question is, what would a bowling ball look like if it were blown up to the size of the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Seth C.</div>
|A bowling ball the size of the Earth would be much less dense, and have much less gravity. Due to this, the finger holes would collapse. causing eruptions of hydrocarbons and scars similar to those on the Moon.
|{{blog|46|2013|05|21}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Alien Astronomers.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|47|Alien Astronomers}}'''
|''"Let's assume there's life on the the nearest habitable exoplanet and that they have technology comparable to ours. If they looked at our star right now, what would they see?"''
<div align="right">—Chuck H.</div>
|They wouldn't be able to see us very well. Radio waves fade quickly in space and we've stopped sending out as many of them. If they happened to pick up, they would only get a message similar to the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wow!_signal Wow! Signal]. The best message they could see is visible light, as the water and weather on Earth's surface would be a telltale marker of some form of life.
|{{blog|47|2013|05|28}}
|{{book|1|28}}
|
|-
|[[File:Sunset on the British Empire.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|48|Sunset on the British Empire}}'''
|''"When (if ever) did the Sun finally set on the British Empire?"''
<div align="right">—Kurt Amundson</div>
|If the British Empire kept the borders it had when the question was written, it would continue to experience eternal sunshine for many thousands of years until a total eclipse hits the Pitcairn Islands at the right time. However, after the publication of this article, it has been announced that [https://www.mondayeconomist.com/p/british-empire#:~:text=On%20March%2021st%2C%202025%2C%20a,part%20of%20the%20British%20Empire the British Indian Ocean Territory will become part of Mauritus] in March 2025, allowing the Sun to finally set on the British Empire.
|{{blog|48|2013|06|04}}
|{{book|1|60}}
|
|-
|[[File:Sunless Earth.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|49|Sunless Earth}}'''
|''"What would happen to the Earth if the Sun suddenly switched off?"''
<div align="right">—Many, many readers</div>
|We would see a variety of benefits across our lives such as the elimination of time zones, more reliable satellites, easier astronomy, and safer wild parsnip, but the downside is we would all freeze and die.
|{{blog|49|2013|06|11}}
|{{book|1|57}}
|{{book|24|2025|04|15|X7sbn9LMZOg| What if the sun suddenly went out?}}
|-
|[[File:Extreme Boating.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|50|Extreme Boating}}'''
|''"What would it be like to navigate a rowboat through a lake of mercury? What about bromine? Liquid gallium? Liquid tungsten? Liquid nitrogen? Liquid helium?"''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Aron</div>
|It would be difficult to row the boat on mercury because it's very dense. Bromine smells terrible and is highly toxic. Gallium would dissolve an aluminium boat. Liquid tungsten would incinerate you instantly. Liquid nitrogen would kill you either by suffocation or hypothermia. Liquid helium's superfluid properties would sink your boat, but at least you'd hear the “third sound” as you die.
|{{blog|50|2013|06|18}}
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|[[File:Free Fall.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|51|Free Fall}}'''
|''"What place on Earth would allow you to freefall the longest by jumping off it? What about using a squirrel suit?"''
<div align="right">—Dhash Shrivathsa</div>
|It takes 26 seconds to fall from the top of {{w|Mount Thor}} into a pit of cotton candy at the bottom of the cliff. The record for the longest wingsuit glide is enough time for Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi to eat 45 hot dogs.
|{{blog|51|2013|06|25}}
|{{book|1|45}}
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|[[File:Bouncy Balls.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|52|Bouncy Balls}}'''
|''"What if one were to drop 3,000 bouncy balls from a seven story parking structure onto a person walking on the sidewalk below? Should the person survive, what would be the number of bouncy balls needed to kill them? What injuries would occur and what would the associated crimes be?"''
<div align="right">—Ginger Bread</div>
|Around 3,000,000 balls. Death would occur and you would be charged with manslaughter or murder.
|{{blog|52|2013|07|02}}
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|[[File:Drain the Oceans.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|53|Drain the Oceans}}'''
|''"How quickly would the ocean's drain if a circular portal 10 meters in radius leading into space was created at the bottom of Challenger Deep, the deepest spot in the ocean? How would the Earth change as the water is being drained?"''
<div align="right">—Ted M.</div>
|Hundreds of thousands of years, so you'll need a bigger portal. As their basins are cut off, many shallow seas and a few deep trenches remain, leaving much of Earth still covered with water. Massive, unpredictable environmental changes would probably wipe out mankind. If they didn't, the Dutch would take over the world, no longer preoccupied with preventing their lands from flooding as they are now.
|{{blog|53|2013|07|09}}
|{{book|1|48}}
|{{book|12|2024|06|18|Jpy55EgMQgY|What if you drained the oceans?}}
|-
|[[File:Drain the Oceans Part II.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|54|Drain the Oceans: Part II}}'''
|''"Supposing you did '''{{what if|53|Drain the Oceans}}''', and dumped the water on top of the Curiosity rover, how would Mars change as the water accumulated?"''
<div align="right">—Iain</div>
|The water would fill the {{w|Valles Marineris}}, eventually leaving only {{w|Olympus Mons}} and some other small islands. The sea would ultimately freeze over, become covered in dust, and migrate to permafrost at the poles. In the meantime, the Netherlands would colonize Mars through the portal. The video additionally mentions that the greenhouse gas effects caused by all the new water might keep Mars's oceans liquid.
|{{blog|54|2013|07|16}}
|{{book|1|49}}
|{{book|14|2024|08|13|FkUNHhVbQ1Q|What if we teleported the oceans to Mars?}}
|-
|[[File:Random Sneeze Call.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|55|Random Sneeze Call}}'''
|''"If you call a random phone number and say "God bless you", what are the chances that the person who answers just sneezed? On average, not just in spring or fall."''
<div align="right">—Mimi</div>
|The chances they just sneezed are 1 in 40000. There's also a 1 in a billion chance that the person you called just murdered someone, a 1 in 10 trillion chance they've just been killed by lightning, and another 1 in 10 trillion chance that you and the other person called each other simultaneously.
|{{blog|55|2013|07|23}}
|{{book|1|53}}
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|-
|[[File:Restraining an Airplane.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|56|Restraining an Airplane}}'''
|''"If you wanted to anchor an airplane into the ground so it wouldn't be able to take off, what would the rope have to be made out of?"''
<div align="right">—Connor Childerhose</div>
|A steel cable an inch thick, the lines of an army of fishermen, or the hair of 20 people. Hair has the highest tensile strength of any material in your body.
|{{blog|56|2013|07|30}}
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|[[File:Dropping a Mountain.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|57|Dropping a Mountain}}'''
|''"What if a huge mountain—Denali, say—had the bottom inch of its base disappear? What would happen from the impact of the mountain falling 1 inch? What about 1 foot? What if the mountain's base were raised to the present height of the summit, and then the whole thing were allowed to drop to the earth?"''
<div align="right">—John-Clark Levin</div>
|An inch or a foot wouldn't do much, it would only feel like a 3.5 magnitude earthquake. Dropped from its own height, Denali would cause a magnitude 7 earthquake and crush coal to diamonds. Dropped from space, that's just a large asteroid and it would cause an impact winter.
|{{blog|57|2013|08|06}}
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| rowspan="3" |[[File:Orbital Speed.png|100px]]
| rowspan="3" |'''{{What If|58|Orbital Speed}}'''
|''"What if a spacecraft slowed down on re-entry to just a few miles per hour using rocket boosters like the Mars-sky-crane? Would it negate the need for a heat shield?"''
<div align="right">—Brian</div>
| rowspan="3" |No, because you need to go 8 km/s to stay in orbit, and it would take impossible amounts of fuel to slow down.
| rowspan="3"{{blog|58|2013|08|12|1d early}}
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|43}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
|''"Is it possible for a spacecraft to control its reentry in such a way that it avoids the atmospheric compression and thus would not require the expensive (and relatively fragile) heat shield on the outside?"''
<div align="right">—Christopher Mallow</div>
|-
|''"Could a (small) rocket (with payload) be lifted to a high point in the atmosphere where it would only need a small rocket to get to escape velocity?"''
<div align="right">—Kenny Van de Maele</div>
|-
|[[File:Updating a Printed Wikipedia.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|59|Updating a Printed Wikipedia}}'''
|''"If you had a printed version of the whole of (say, the English) Wikipedia, how many printers would you need in order to keep up with the changes made to the live version?"''
<div align="right">—Susanne Könings</div>
|You'd need six printers, but if using an ink printer, costs would rack up to $500,000 a month, dwarfing paper and maintenance costs. You'd need to file away past versions in case they were reverted (restored), which would be a nightmare.
|{{blog|59|2013|08|20|1d late}}
|{{book|1|58}}
|{{book|13|2024|7|9|RgBYohJ7mIk|What if you tried to print Wikipedia?}}
|-
|[[File:Signs of Life.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|60|Signs of Life}}'''
|''"If you could teleport to a random place of the surface of the Earth, what are the odds that you'll see signs of intelligent life?"''
<div align="right">—Borislav Stanimirov</div>
|70% of the time you would end up in the ocean, while most of the rest will be somewhere uninhabited. But if it’s night, you can see satellites just by looking up.
|{{blog|60|2013|08|27}}
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|[[File:Speed Bump.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|61|Speed Bump}}'''
|''"How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live?"''
<div align="right">—Myrlin Barber</div>
|At highway speeds, you could wreck your tires and suspension. Around 150-300 mph, the aerodynamics of a typical sedan will cause it to flip and crash before even reaching the speed bump. At 90% the speed of light, you could face a billion-dollar speeding ticket.
|{{blog|61|2013|09|03}}
|{{book|1|41}}
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|[[File:Falling With Helium.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|62|Falling With Helium}}'''
|''"What if I jumped out of an airplane with a couple of tanks of helium and one huge, un-inflated balloon? Then, while falling, I release the helium and fill the balloon. How long of a fall would I need in order for the balloon to slow me enough that I could land safely?"''
<div align="right">—Colin Rowe</div>
|You would need a balloon at least 10 to 20 meters across to slow your fall, as well as needing 10 helium tanks that are 250 cubic feet. You'd have to do it really quickly though, and starting from a higher place will not help due to the atmosphere's thinness making you accelerate.
|{{blog|62|2013|09|10}}
|{{book|1|34}}
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|[[File:Google's Datacenters on Punch Cards.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|63|Google's Datacenters on Punch Cards}}'''
|''"If all digital data were stored on punch cards, how big would Google's data warehouse be?"''
<div align="right">—James Zetlin</div>
|Using electric consumption and datacenter spending as a measuring stick, Google probably has around 1-2 million servers, which equates to around 15 exabytes (or 15,000,000,000,000,000,000 bytes). Assuming a punch card holds 80 characters, all of that data comes out to 4.5 kilometers/2.8 miles, 3x deeper than the New England ice sheets.
|{{blog|63|2013|09|17}}
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|[[File:Rising Steadily.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|64|Rising Steadily}}'''
|''"If you suddenly began rising steadily at one foot per second, how exactly would you die? Would you freeze or suffocate first? Or something else?"''
<div align="right">—Rebecca B</div>
|A nudist would survive for five hours, then succumb to the cold. With a good coat, one would survive for seven, even plausibly eight, until reaching the low-oxygen {{w|death zone}} and suffocating. However, your corpse would outlast the Earth as it was swallowed by the Sun.
|{{blog|64|2013|09|24}}
|{{book|1|15}}
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|[[File:Twitter Timeline Height.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|65|Twitter Timeline Height}}'''
|''"If our Twitter timelines (tweets by the people we follow) actually extended off the screen in both directions, how tall would they be?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|It's difficult to pin down an "average" for Twitter timeline lengths, but an estimate by Diego Basch and the Tweet rate as of 2013 suggests that the section timeline extending to the past would have 345 billion tweets and be 8,000,000 kilometers (5,000,000 miles) tall. Using extrapolation techniques similar to those used in the {{w|German tank problem}}, the future and past timelines combined would likely contain 690 billion tweets.
|{{blog|65|2013|10|01}}
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|[[File:500 MPH.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|66|500 MPH}}'''
|''"If winds reached 500 mph, would it pick up a human?"''
<div align="right">—Grey Flynn, age 7, Stoneham, MA</div>
|500 mph winds are more than fast enough to pick up a person and propel them through the air. In fact, 500 mph winds are so fast that they only occur on Earth in extreme situations like the immediate vicinity of an erupting volcano or the aftermath of a major asteroid impact at which point wind speed would only be one of many dangers to human survival.
|{{blog|66|2013|10|08}}
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| rowspan="2" |[[File:Expanding Earth.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|67|Expanding Earth}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"How long would it take for people to notice their weight gain if the mean radius of the world expanded by 1cm every second? (Assuming the average composition of rock were maintained.)"''
<div align="right">—Dennis O’Donnell</div>
| rowspan="2" |After a month, the gain would be measurable but within the normal variation of gravity. After a year, it would be more prominent at 5%. Humans could survive with difficulty for a decade, but even in specially-built environments, they would succumb within a century as air itself became toxic from atmospheric pressure. After a few centuries, the Moon would fall into the Roche limit and crumble into rings.
| rowspan="2" {{blog|67|2013|10|15}}
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|55}}
|{{book|17|2024|10|15|-1-ldW4kpLM|What if Earth grew 1cm every second?}}
|-
|{{book|6|short-video=yes|2025|08|05|5k8ciEx__5w|Circumference pop quiz!}}
|-
|[[File:Little Planet.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|68|Little Planet}}'''
|''"If an asteroid was very small but supermassive, could you really live on it like the Little Prince?"''
<div align="right">—Samantha Harper</div>
|Technically, yes. However, there would be major challenges. For one, gravity would be at full strength at your feet, but only 25% strength at your head, giving the illusion that you're being stretched. You would need to sprint at 3 meters per second to leave orbit. However, if you don't make it to that point, you would enter a highly eccentric orbit which would pull on your body in strange ways. Alternatively, you could escape the atmosphere by jumping. If you can make a dunk in basketball on Earth, you could escape this body by jumping.
|{{blog|68|2013|10|22}}
|{{book|1|22}}
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|[[File:Facebook of the Dead.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|69|Facebook of the Dead}}'''
|''"When, if ever, will Facebook contain more profiles of dead people than of living ones?"''
<div align="right">—Emily Dunham</div>
|This depends on if Facebook stays popular or declines in popularity over time. In the former case, the dead would only outnumber the living well into the 2100s; while in the latter, this happens around 2060. Facebook can afford to keep all our data indefinitely, but there are ethical questions.
|{{blog|69|2013|10|29}}
|{{book|1|59}}
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|[[File:The Constant Groundskeeper.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|70|The Constant Groundskeeper}}'''
|''"How big of a lawn would you have to have so that when you finished mowing you'd need to start over because the grass has grown?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Nelson</div>
|A normal, standard-issue mower running for 10 hours straight could cut an area of 25,000 square meters, or 27,000 yards. Using a much faster mower commissioned by the magazine ''Top Gear'' that is used all day, every day, it could cut an adult male cougar's home range (which [https://wdfw.wa.gov/species-habitats/species/puma-concolor#:~:text=Adult%20male%20cougars%20roam%20widely,terrain%2C%20and%20availability%20of%20prey. the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife] reports as 50-150 miles or 80-240 kilometers).
|{{blog|70|2013|11|05}}
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|[[File:Stirring Tea.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|71|Stirring Tea}}'''
|''"I was absentmindedly stirring a cup of hot tea, when I got to thinking, "aren't I actually adding kinetic energy into this cup?" I know that stirring does help to cool down the tea, but what if I were to stir it faster? Would I be able to boil a cup of water by stirring?"''
<div align="right">—Will Evans</div>
|No, not really, It would take at least 1 horsepower (a lot for a person stirring), and reducing the power would just make it cool faster. Stirring faster and faster would cause a vacuum to form and stirring to become ineffective.
|{{blog|71|2013|11|12}}
|{{book|1|61}}
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|[[File:Loneliest Human.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|72|Loneliest Human}}'''
|''"What is the furthest one human being has ever been from every other living person? Were they lonely?"''
<div align="right">—Bryan J. McCarter</div>
|The most well-documented candidates are six Apollo astronauts who ventured behind the dark side of the Moon. Antarctic explorers and pre-colonialism Polynesian explorers have a shot, but there's no good evidence of specific people who beat the Apollo record. Astronauts Mike Collins and Al Worden said they were not at all lonely, the latter even enjoying his soltitude.
|{{blog|72|2013|11|19}}
|{{book|1|63}}
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|[[File:Lethal Neutrinos.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|73|Lethal Neutrinos}}'''
|''"How close would you have to be to a supernova to get a lethal dose of neutrino radiation?"''
<div align="right">—(Overheard in a physics department)</div>
|Neutrinos are subatomic particles that barely interact with the universe at all, so it's hard to imagine a scenario where they could harm you, even in a supernova. But at about 2.3 AU, or a little farther than Mars is from the Sun, even the neutrinos would be dense enough to kill you. On the other hand, if you were that close, you were probably inside the star that created the supernova, in which case ''[[#115|Into the Sun]]'' would apply.
|{{blog|73|2013|11|26}}
|{{book|1|39}}
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|[[File:Soda Planet.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|74|Soda Planet}}'''
|''"How much of the Earth's currently-existing water has ever been turned into a soft drink at some point in its history?"''
<div align="right">—Brian Roelofs</div>
|Humans have likely consumed 6.5 trillion liters or 1.7 trillion gallons of soda ever, based on estimates of population growth and popularity of soda. Assuming humanity has drunk 100 trillion liters (26 trillion gallons) of water, it is reasonable to conclude that only 0.0000005% of Earth's current water reservoir has been turned into a soft drink. However, considering how long water takes to cycle around and certain prehistoric life forms, the water in the average soda was likely once consumed by a dinosaur.
|{{blog|74|2013|12|03}}
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|[[File:Phone Keypad.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|75|Phone Keypad}}'''
|''"I use one of those old phones where you type with numbers—for example, to type "Y", you press 9 three times. Some words have consecutive letters on the same number. When they do, you have to pause between letters, making those words annoying to type. What English word has the most consecutive letters on the same key?"''
<div align="right">—Stewart Bishop</div>
|The English word with the most consecutive letters on the same key is "Nonmonogamous". This would require you to type the 6 key (MNO) 16 times without stopping, in order to type 'nonmono'. With every letter included, typing this word would require pressing the 2, 4, 7, and 8 keys once each, and the 6 key a nice, even 20 times.
|{{blog|75|2013|12|10}}
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|[[File:Reading Every Book.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|76|Reading Every Book}}'''
|''"At what point in human history were there too many (English) books to be able to read them all in one lifetime?"''
<div align="right">—Gregory Willmot</div>
|About the 1500s, as the population of active English writers reached a few hundred, meaning you would never be able to catch up (using the average word count for a few famous authors as a baseline). You might not want to read them, anyways.
|{{blog|76|2013|12|17}}
|{{book|2|10}}
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|[[File:Growth Rate.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|77|Growth Rate}}'''
|''"What height would humans reach if we kept growing through our whole development period (i.e. till late teens/early twenties) at the same pace as we do during our first month?"''
<div align="right">—Maria</div>
|We would reach 10 to 12 meters at age 20, though the human body is not scalable to those heights, as our bone structure is too thin, while our hearts wouldn't be able to pump the blood around.
|{{blog|77|2013|12|31|7d late}}
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|[[File:T-rex Calories.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|78|T-rex Calories}}'''
|''"If a T-rex were released in New York City, how many humans/day would it need to consume to get its needed calorie intake?"''
<div align="right">—Tony Schmitz</div>
|Estimates vary, but the T-rex was estimated to need 40,000 calories per day. Ryan North of Dinosaur Comics tells us that the average 80 kg/175 pound human [http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=QW-PERSON&Category_Code=QW contains 110,000 calories]. Therefore, a T-rex would need to eat someone every 2 days or so.
|{{blog|78|2014|01|07}}
|{{book|2|7|T. Rex Calories}}
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|[[File:Lake Tea.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|79|Lake Tea}}'''
|''"What if we were to dump all the tea in the world into the Great Lakes? How strong, compared to a regular cup of tea, would the lake tea be?"''
<div align="right">—Alex Burman</div>
|An average cup of tea requires 2 grams of tea per 100 mL of water, and to make proper tea out of the Great Lakes, you would need 450 billion tons of tea for the Great Lakes' 22,600 cubic kilometers/5400 cubic miles of water. A total year's supply of tea is only 4.8 million tons, which would make tea about as strong as 2 drops in a bathtub. To make proper lake tea, you could use Wular Lake in Kashmir or Ullswater in UK's lake district, due to the volume of both being small enough for the tea to work.
|{{blog|79|2014|01|14}}
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|[[File:Pile of Viruses.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|80|Pile of Viruses}}'''
|''"What if every virus in the world were collected into one area? How much volume would they take up and what would they look like?"''
<div align="right">—Dave</div>
|''Human'' viruses would fill about ten oil drums. ''All'' viruses would form a wet heap the size of a small mountain, with a texture resembling pus or meat slurry.
|{{blog|80|2014|01|21}}
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|[[File:Catch!.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|81|Catch!}}'''
|''"Is there any way to fire a gun so that the bullet flies through the air and can then be safely caught by hand? e.g. shooter is at sea level and catcher is up a mountain at the extreme range of the gun."''
<div align="right">—Ed Hui, London</div>
|Yes, eventually the bullet would come to a maximum height, at which point you could grab the bullet before it fell down. You'd need to grip it firmly, because the bullet would still have its rotational momentum and might jump out of your hand. A larger bullet would require a larger height to catch it at, and even then, it would still be difficult to grab. Of course, this is illegal and can injure you or other people.
|{{blog|81|2014|01|28}}
|{{book|2|12}}
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|[[File:Hitting a comet.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|82|Hitting a comet}}'''
|''"Astrophysicists are always saying things like "This mission to this comet is equivalent to throwing a baseball from New York and hitting a particular window in San Francisco." Are they really equivalent?"''
<div align="right">—Tom Foster</div>
|The baseball thing is much harder. You'd have to hit it out of the atmosphere, and a baseball is too small to do that. Even if you could, it's still not a fair comparison because astrophysicists are allowed to refine their approach as they close in on the target, which you can't do with a thrown baseball. It turns out that the comet mission requires about the same level of precision as laser eye surgery.
|{{blog|82|2014|02|05|1d late}}
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|[[File:Star Sand.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|83|Star Sand}}'''
|''"If you made a beach using grains the proportionate size of the stars in the Milky Way, what would that beach look like?"''
<div align="right">—Jeff Wartes</div>
|Although red giants aren't as common as Sun-like stars or red dwarfs, they would form a stretch of gravel that went on for miles due to their large relative volume. 99% of all stars would form a small patch of sand.
|{{blog|83|2014|02|11|1d early}}
|{{book|2|16}}
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|[[File:Paint the Earth.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|84|Paint the Earth}}'''
|''"Has humanity produced enough paint to cover the entire land area of the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Josh (Bolton, MA)</div>
|There isn't enough paint to go around. The total estimated amount of produced paint, a trillion litres, is only enough to paint as much as the land area of Russia.
|{{blog|84|2014|02|18}}
|{{book|2|14}}
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|[[File:Rocket Golf.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|85|Rocket Golf}}'''
|''"Assuming that you have a spaceship in orbit around the Earth, could you propel your ship to speeds exceeding escape velocity by hitting golf balls in the other direction? If so, how many golf balls would be required to reach the Moon?"''
<div align="right">—Dan (Kanata, Ontario)</div>
|You ''could'' propel your ship using golf balls, but, assuming they are being fired at 226 mph (363 km/h), the fastest world record, the amount of golf balls needed for this would be around the size of Earth and wouldn't even get you to the Moon. You'd need a potato cannon fueled by acetylene firing golf balls at 310 mph (500 km/h) which reduces the size of the golf mass to 150 miles (240 kilometers). This would be incredibly costly and firing them faster would essentially be the same as building a normal rocket.
|{{blog|85|2014|02|25}}
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|[[File:Far-Traveling Objects.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|86|Far-Traveling Objects}}'''
|''"In terms of human-made objects, has Voyager 1 travelled the farthest distance? It's certainly the farthest from Earth we know about. But what about the edge of ultracentrifuges, or generator turbines that have been running for years, for example?"''
<div align="right">—Matt Russell</div>
|There are a few different frames of reference you can look at, but in normal terms Mariner 10 has traveled much farther than Voyager 1. It's travelled a couple of light-days around the Sun, while the Voyager probes have only travelled a dozen light-hours.
|{{blog|86|2014|03|04}}
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|[[File:Enforced by Radar.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|87|Enforced by Radar}}'''
|''"I've occasionally seen "radar enforced" on speed limit signs, and I can't help but ask: How intense would radio waves have to be to stop a car from going over the speed limit, and what would happen if this were attempted?"''
<div align="right">—Joausc</div>
|Radio waves are generally ''very weak''. You'd need the collective energy of trillions of cell phones just to levitate a snow flake. To stop a car, you'd need at least 2 trillion joules of radiation, which would vaporize the car and everything else around it.
|{{blog|87|2014|03|11}}
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|[[File:Soda Sequestration.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|88|Soda Sequestration}}'''
|''"How much CO2 is contained in the world's stock of bottled fizzy drinks? How much soda would be needed to bring atmospheric CO2 back to preindustrial levels?"''
<div align="right">—Brandon Seah</div>
|There are currently 400 parts of carbon dioxide per million. To bring it down to pre-Industrial levels, you'd need 450 quadrillion cans of soda, each being able to hold 2.2 grams of CO2. This would cover Earth's land 10 times over.
|{{blog|88|2014|03|18}}
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|[[File:Tungsten Countertop.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|89|Tungsten Countertop}}'''
|''"How far would a tungsten countertop descend if I dropped it into the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Leuchtenburg</div>
|Tungsten has the highest melting point of any element, but even tungsten would melt before it got too far. If you protected it with a heat shield, it would get destroyed all the same by the battering of the particles in the Sun's atmosphere. It could possibly penetrate the surface if it was larger, but as it stands, it wouldn't get past the outer layers.
|{{blog|89|2014|03|25}}
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|[[File:Great Tree, Great Axe.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|90|Great Tree, Great Axe}}'''
|''"If all the seas were one sea,''
''What a great sea that would be!''
''If all the trees were one tree,''
''What a great tree that would be!''
''If all the men were one man,''
''What a great man that would be!''
''If all the axes were one axe,''
''What a great axe that would be!''
''And if the great man took the great axe,''
''And cut down the great tree,''
''And let if fall into the great sea,''
''What a great splish-splash that would be!''

''... How great would all of these things be?"''
<div align="right">—John Eifert (quoting a ''Mother Goose'' rhyme)</div>
|The seas would be a little bigger than the Pacific Ocean. Trees can't grow taller than about 130 meters naturally, and would physically crush itself if above a few kilometers tall. Ignoring these restraints, the tree would be about 75 km tall with trunk diameter of 2 km. Ignoring human size restraints, the person would be close to 3 km tall. The axe would be about 500 meters long and relatively the size of a flimsy hatchet. It may take a few weeks to chop down the tree and the impact would create a tsunami that probably wouldn't wipe out the human race, but would be likely the deadliest single disaster in our history.
|{{blog|90|2014|04|03|2d late}}
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|[[File:Faucet Power.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|91|Faucet Power}}'''
|''"I just moved into a new apartment. It includes hot water but I have to pay the electric bill. So being a person on a budget ... what's the best way to use my free faucet to generate electricity?"''
<div align="right">—David Axel Kurtz</div>
|A small hydroelectric dam in the bathtub would yield about $0.25 per month of electricity, but the best option would probably be to bottle and sell your tap water, yielding about $38 million per year at $1.50 per bottle.
|{{blog|91|2014|04|08|2d early}}
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|[[File:One-Second Day.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|92|One-Second Day}}'''
|''"What would happen if the Earth's rotation were sped up until a day only lasted one second?"''
<div align="right">—Dylan</div>
|Everything on Earth would die, but if it happened when the Moon crosses the plane of the Earth, then everything in the Solar System will die (whether there is a difference is debatable).
|{{blog|92|2014|04|15}}
|{{book|2|21}}
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|-
|[[File:Windshield Raindrops.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|93|Windshield Raindrops}}'''
|''"At what speed would you have to drive for rain to shatter your windshield?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Butler</div>
|Water droplets in air are normally lighter than the air, so this wouldn't happen under normal circumstances. However, at supersonic speeds, the water droplet would impact the windshield at Mach 18. It wouldn't shatter the windshield, but it would slowly batter it away.
|{{blog|93|2014|04|22}}
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|[[File:Billion-Story Building.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|94|Billion-Story Building}}'''
|''"My daughter — age 4.5 — maintains she wants a billion-story building. It turns out not only is that hard to help her appreciate this size, I am not at all able to explain all of the other difficulties you'd have to overcome."''
<div align="right">—Keira, via Steve Brodovicz, Media, PA </div>
|The tower would be far too big to support itself under its own weight. The tower would also extend past the Moon. The sheer amount of elevators needed would provide little to no room for actual usable space. Additionally, space junk would be a large problem, as there is a high probability that space junk would collide with the tower.
|{{blog|94|2014|04|29}}
|{{book|2|22}}
|{{book|21|2025|02|11|Z_xJ40QXu7Q|What if you built a billion-story building?}}
|-
|[[File:Pyramid Energy.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|95|Pyramid Energy}}'''
|''"What took more energy, the building of the Great Pyramid of Giza or the Apollo Mission? If we could convert the energy to build the Great Pyramid, would it be enough to send a rocket to the Moon and back?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Marmol</div>
|The Apollo Program took about the same manpower as the building of the Great Pyramids, but physics wise, the Great Pyramid only contains 10<sup>12</sup> joules of gravitational potential energy. A single Saturn V rocket's fuel has 20 times more energy.
|{{blog|95|2014|05|06}}
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|[[File:$2 Undecillion Lawsuit.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|96|$2 Undecillion Lawsuit}}'''
|''"What if Au Bon Pain lost '''[http://www.loweringthebar.net/2014/05/2-undecillion-dollar-demand.html this lawsuit]''' and had to pay the plaintiff $2 undecillion?"''
<div align="right">—Kevin Underhill</div>
|The debt would be incredibly great, to the point that everything ever created by man does not have enough value to pay it off. For comparison, former soliciter general Ted Olson leaked that he charges $1600 per hour for his services. Even if every habitable planet in the Milky Way had a population of 8 billion Ted Olsons, and you hired all of them for a thousand generations, the cost would still be lower than if you lost.
|{{blog|96|2014|05|14|1d late}}
|{{book|2|23}}
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|-
|[[File:Burning Pollen.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|97|Burning Pollen}}'''
|''"What if you were to somehow ignite the pollen that floats around in the air in spring? Other than being a really bad idea, what effect would it have?"''
<div align="right">—Jessica Thornburg</div>
|It would just warm up the air by a very tiny bit, but only because it's so thinly spread. Gathering all of it from a large enough region into one pile could equal a nuclear weapon.
|{{blog|97|2014|05|20|1d early}}
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|[[File:Blood Alcohol.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|98|Blood Alcohol}}'''
|''"Could you get drunk from drinking a drunk person's blood?"''
<div align="right">—Fiona Byrne</div>
|No, you can't. Alcohol in a drunk person's blood would be very diluted and by the time you drank the 14 glasses needed to get drunk, you would've vomited on the account of drinking blood. That aside, you could also get iron overload as well as various blood-borne diseases.
|{{blog|98|2014|05|27}}
|{{book|2|42}}
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|-
|[[File:Starlings.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|99|Starlings}}'''
|''"I was watching '''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eakKfY5aHmY this video]''' and was wondering: How many birds there would need to be for gravity to take over and force them into a gargantuan ball of birds?"''
<div align="right">—Justin Basinger</div>
|Each bird is 85 grams, with a density of around 43 grams per square meter. Because of this, the air would be 25 times stronger than the starlings and the substance governing the collapse. The air would have to be bigger than the Earth to collapse the starlings and the starlings themselves would need to be bigger than the Solar System. They would then promptly turn into a star.
|{{blog|99|2014|06|03}}
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|-
|[[File:WWII Films.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|100|WWII Films}}'''
|''"Did WWII last longer than the total length of movies about WWII? For that matter, which war has the highest movie time:war time ratio?"''
<div align="right">—Becky</div>
|Assuming the average run time of a WWII film was 95 minutes, the combined length was 300 days, meaning World War II was longer than the movies 7 times over. The two most likely candidates for highest movie:war ratio are the Indo-Pakistani war, which lasted 13 days and has 5 catalogued films about it, and the Anglo-Zanzibar war, which only lasted 38 minutes but lacked any films.
|{{blog|100|2014|06|11|1d late}}
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|[[File:Plastic Dinosaurs.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|101|Plastic Dinosaurs}}'''
|''"As plastic is made from oil and oil is made from dead dinosaurs, how much actual real dinosaur is there in a plastic dinosaur?"''
<div align="right">—Steve Lydford</div>
|Contrary to the name, oil is not made of dead dinosaurs, mostly being composed of marine plankton and algae. Geology is complicated, but the gist is that only a small fraction of a plastic dinosaur toy could've come from dinosaur oil, and depending on the location, it may contain none at all.
|{{blog|101|2014|06|18}}
|{{book|2|26}}
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|-
|[[File:Keyboard Power.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|102|Keyboard Power}}'''
|''"As a writer, I'm wondering what would be the cumulative energy of the hundreds of thousands of keystrokes required to write a novel."''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Dickner</div>
|Writing one full novel would provide enough energy to run a laptop for 15 seconds. If each novel takes you six months, this would save a fraction of a penny of electricity. To keep a laptop, you'd need to write a novel every ten seconds, and to run a microwave would require one novel per second.
|{{blog|102|2014|06|25}}
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|[[File:Vanishing Water.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|103|Vanishing Water}}'''
|''"What would happen if all the bodies of water on Earth magically disappeared?"''
<div align="right">—Joanna Xu</div>
|If all water vanished, the first to notice would be anybody currently in the ocean, and over the course of a minute, they would all fall, some of them dying but some surviving with minor injuries. After this, all marine life will have perished. Humans follow soon after as the water cycle would've stopped, collapsing global infrustructure and killing every plant and person by dehydration. The end of the water cycle also leads to a runaway greenhouse effect later on.
|{{blog|103|2014|07|02}}
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|[[File:Global Snow.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|104|Global Snow}}'''
|''"From my seven-year-old son: How many snowflakes would it take to cover the entire world in six feet of snow? (I don't know why six feet...but that's what he asked.)"''
<div align="right">—Jed Scott</div>
|Snow isn't very dense, and 1 inch of rain would lead to a foot or more of snow. Factoring in snow compressing throughout the day, you would need a mole of snowflakes to cover the Earth in 6 feet in snow.
|{{blog|104|2014|07|09}}
|{{book|2|59}}
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|-
|[[File:Cannibalism.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|105|Cannibalism}}'''
|''"How long could the human race survive on only cannibalism?"''
<div align="right">—Quinn Shaffer</div>
|If half of the world eats the other half, then it would take about 32 months before it came down to 2 people. However, this is also a very efficient way to get a {{w|Transmissible spongiform encephalopathy|prion disease}}.
|{{blog|105|2014|07|16}}
|
|{{book|31|2025|09|30|PUtI3xoaHx0|Could we survive eating only humans?}}
|-
|[[File:Ink Molecules.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|106|Ink Molecules}}'''
|''"Suppose you were to print, in 12 point text, the numeral 1 using a common cheap ink-jet printer. How many molecules of the ink would be used? At what numerical value would the number printed approximately equal the number of ink molecules used?"''
<div align="right">—David Pelkey</div>
|You'd use about 100,000,000,000,000,000 molecules.
|{{blog|106|2014|07|23}}
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|[[File:Letter to Mom.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|107|Letter to Mom}}'''
|''"What’s the fastest way to get a hand-written letter from my place in Chicago to my mother in New Jersey?"''
<div align="right">—Tim</div>
|An ICBM would take 12-15 minutes to cross the distance. While that is the best method, a few other methods come close. The Concorde would only take 30 minutes, while firing something with a rail gun down a vacuum tube would take only 10-20 minutes.
|{{blog|107|2014|07|30}}
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|[[File:Expensive Shoebox.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|108|Expensive Shoebox}}'''
|''"What would be the most expensive way to fill a size 11 shoebox (e.g. with 64 GB MicroSD cards all full of legally purchased music)?"''
<div align="right">—Rick Lewis</div>
|There are many options (precious materials, hard drugs, physical file storage, etc.), but they all cap out at ~$2,000,000,000. That amount of platinum would be worth $13 million, while diamonds, Adcetris and LSD would be valued around 1-2 billion,
|{{blog|108|2014|08|13|7d late}}
|{{book|2|31}}
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|-
|[[File:Into the Blue.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|109|Into the Blue}}'''
|''"If I shot an infinitely strong laser beam into the sky at a random point, how much damage would it do?"''
<div align="right">—Garrett D.</div>
|Infinitely powerful laser beams do not exist, and if they did, they would vaporize the air and destroy everything like in the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|13|Laser Pointer}}''. That being said, if it were truly random, it would be aimed at Earth 50% of the time. If you miss the Earth, 89,999 times out of 90,000, your beam will pass right out of the galaxy without hitting anything. When it does hit something, it will almost always be the Sun or the Moon.
|{{blog|109|2014|08|20}}
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|[[File:Walking New York.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|110|Walking New York}}'''
|''"Could a person walk the entire city of NY in their lifetime? (including inside apartments)"''
<div align="right">—Asif Shamir</div>
|Based on estimates of US Postal Service carriers and their travel times, we know that walking every street in NYC would probably take 14 years. Assuming it takes about 25 seconds to enter an apartment building, leave, and go to the next one, it would only take an additional 10 years to visit every apartment. However, under [http://ypdcrime.com/penal.law/article140.htm New York Penal Code], the punishment would take 2 million years or 2,000 millenia to finish.
|{{blog|110|2014|08|27}}
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|[[File:All the Money.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|111|All the Money}}'''
|''"People sometimes say "If I had all the money in the world ..." in order to discuss what they would do if they had no financial constraints. I'm curious, though, what would happen if one person had all of the world's money?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Pino</div>
|Currency only makes up a fraction of Earth's money, and it's unlikely people would agree to your sudden claims of ownership over all of the land, nor would they let you spend the actual currency you have. Said currency would quickly crush you, as most of its weight is in coinage. You could build a structure to contain the coins, but this would violate NYC building codes.
|{{blog|111|2014|09|02|1d early}}
|
|{{book|25|2025|05|06|saj7b5C6TCM|What if you literally had all the money in the world?}}
|-
|[[File:Balloon Car.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|112|Balloon Car}}'''
|''"My 12-year-old daughter is proposing an interesting project. She is planning to attach a number of helium balloons to a chair, which in turn would be tethered by means of a rope to a Ferrari. Her 13-year-old friend would then drive the Ferrari around, while she sits in the chair enjoying uninterrupted views of the countryside. Leaving aside the legal and insurance difficulties, my daughter is keen to know the maximum speed that she could expect to attain, and how many helium balloons would be required."''
<div align="right">—Phil Rodgers, Cambridge, UK</div>
|A balloon just big enough to lift you would be pushed down by the wind, and a balloon big enough to counteract that would lift up the car along with you. The way to achieve this result is [https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=parasailing parasailing].
|{{blog|112|2014|09|17|8d late}}
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|[[File:Visit Every State.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|113|Visit Every State}}'''
|''"How fast could you visit all 50 states?"''
<div align="right">—as discussed by Stephen Von Worley <span class="plainlinks">on [http://www.datapointed.net/2012/08/fastest-route-to-visit-all-fifty-united-states/ '''''Data Pointed''''']</span>
|It would take you 160 hours by car, 39 hours by landing a private jet in each state, and 18 hours by F-22 fighter jet and helicopter landing in each state. However, if you relax the requirement to land in each state and simply count entering the state's airspace as "visiting" it, you can do it in around 7 hours with an SR-71 Blackbird. If we allow satellite orbits, you can do it in just over 6 hours with five orbits, assuming your satellite makes a course correction on each orbit.
|{{blog|113|2014|09|24}}
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|[[File:Antimatter.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|114|Antimatter}}'''
|''"What if everything was antimatter, EXCEPT Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Sean Gallagher</div>
|It would wipe out all life on Earth, but surprisingly slower than you might expect. The annihilation of antimatter entering the atmosphere would add enough extra heat to create a runaway greenhouse effect and make Earth similar to Venus. We would be in much more danger from meteorites, with dinosaur-killer equivalents hitting the upper atmosphere every few months.
|{{blog|114|2014|10|01}}
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|[[File:Into the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|115|Into the Sun}}'''
|''"When I was about 8 years old, shoveling snow on a freezing day in Colorado, I wished that I could be instantly transported to the surface of the Sun, just for a nanosecond, then instantly transported back. I figured this would be long enough to warm me up but not long enough to harm me. What would actually happen?"''
<div align="right">—AJ, Kansas City</div>
|You would not be warmed if you went to the surface, as the energy received by your skin would be minimal. You would maybe see a bright flash of light. The core, on the other hand, would vaporize you, as the energy delivered there would be able to give you a second-degree burn after 1 femtosecond (1 millionth of a nanosecond) in the core.
|{{blog|115|2014|10|08}}
|{{book|2|61}}
|{{book|15|2024|09|03|UXA-Af-JeCE|Could you survive a nanosecond on the Sun?}}
|-
| rowspan="3" |[[File:No-Rules NASCAR.png|100px]]
| rowspan="3" |'''{{What If|116|No-Rules NASCAR}}'''
| rowspan="3" |''"If you stripped away all the rules of car racing and had a contest which was simply to get a human being around a track 200 times as fast as possible, what strategy would win? Let's say the racer has to survive."''
<div align="right">—Hunter Freyer</div>
| rowspan="3" |If the rider has to survive, 90 minutes is the limit based on human G-force tolerances. If survival is not a priority, you'd build a particle accelerator.
| rowspan="3" {{blog|116|2014|10|15}}
| rowspan="3" {{book|2|35}}
|{{book|3|2023|12|19|JcXpCyPc2Xw|What if NASCAR had no rules?}}
|-
|{{book|8|short-video=yes|2025|08|26|eSPcp-tfGbA|How fast could a human accellerate (while staying alive)?}}
|-
|{{book|9|short-video=yes|2025|09|02|rgUfcFAPicY|How fast could a vehicle go around a track - but the racer does not have to survive.}}
|-
|[[File:Distant Death.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|117|Distant Death}}'''
|''"What is the farthest from Earth that any Earth thing has died?"''
<div align="right">—Amy from NZ</div>
|The farthest that any human has died is about 167 kilometers. In terms of any living thing, however, bacterial spores on Voyager 1 are dying every few months, setting a new record each time.
|{{blog|117|2014|10|23|1d late}}
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|[[File:Physical Salary.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|118|Physical Salary}}'''
|''"What if people's incomes appeared around them as cash in real time? How much would you need to make to be in real trouble?"''
<div align="right">—Julia Anderson, Albuquerque, NM</div>
|At minimum US wage, a worker would earn about one water bottle of mixed coins per day. A CEO would earn about 600 such bottles per day, and the coins would accumulate on the floor at a rate of about 0.5 inches per day. Mark Zuckerberg would earn 25 such bottles ''per second'', and the coins would bury him if he sat still for an hour.
|{{blog|118|2014|10|30}}
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|[[File:Laser Umbrella.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|119|Laser Umbrella}}'''
|''"Stopping rain from falling on something with an umbrella or a tent is boring. What if you tried to stop rain with a laser that targeted and vaporized each incoming droplet before it could come within ten feet of the ground?"''
<div align="right">—Zach Wheeler</div>
|It's doable in theory, but the energy required to completely vaporize a raindrop (rather than merely splattering it) is high enough that your surroundings would get dangerously hot. Targeting the droplets might be possible with adaptive optics, but it would require a complicated device. You could try firing rapidly in random directions instead, but your high-powered laser might go several hundred meters without hitting a raindrop, which would endanger your local neighborhood.
|{{blog|119|2014|11|13|7d late}}
|{{book|2|37}}
|{{book|6|2024|02|20|zgBTwtg7H8E|Could you make an umbrella out of lasers?}}
|-
|[[File:Alternate Universe What Ifs.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|120|Alternate Universe What Ifs}}'''
|''"Dispatches from a horrifying alternate universe"''
|Excerpts from ''what if?'' articles written in a world which, thankfully, is not the one we live in.
|{{blog|120|2014|11|20}}
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|[[File:Frozen Rivers.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|121|Frozen Rivers}}'''
|''"What would happen if all of the rivers in the US were instantly frozen in the middle of the summer?"''
<div align="right">—Zoe Cutler</div>
|Anywhere with rain or snowmelt would be horrifically flooded, and ice would break, then dam up rivers, forming huge lakes. Humanity would be worse for the wear, but all in all fine. Places where electricity is gotten using a hydroelectric dam may be out of power for a bit, but the flow of water would return in time.
|{{blog|121|2014|12|11}} 14d late)
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|[[File:Lava Lamp.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|122|Lava Lamp}}'''
|''"What if I made a lava lamp out of real lava? What could I use as a clear medium? How close could I stand to watch it?"''
<div align="right">—Kathy Johnstone, 6th Grade Teacher (via a student)</div>
|You would need to use a metal or gemstone with a very high heat tolerance. You could possibly use sapphire or some sort of transparent or translucent tungsten, but the clear medium would eventually fog up and prevent you from seeing the lava. The lava would solidify after approximately a minute without some way to continuously heat it.
|{{blog|122|2014|12|18}}
|{{book|2|40}}
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|-
|[[File:Fairy Demographics.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|123|Fairy Demographics}}'''
|''"How many fairies would fly around, if each fairy is born from the first laugh of a child and fairies were immortal?"''
<div align="right">—Mira Kühn, Germany</div>
|If fairies appeared with the first laugh of a ''homo sapiens'', there would be around 100 billion fairies, and they, depending on their size, would probably be considered no more than a common pest. Because of their high population, however, they would probably be considered a major part of the ecosystems where they resided.
|{{blog|123|2015|01|01|7d late}}
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| rowspan="2" |[[File:Lunar Swimming.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|124|Lunar Swimming}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"What if there was a lake on the Moon? What would it be like to swim in it? Presuming that it is sheltered in a regular atmosphere, in some giant dome or something."''
<div align="right">—Kim Holder</div>
| rowspan="2" |It would be super-cool, given that lower gravity would increase the size of splashes and the height of jumps.
| rowspan="2" {{blog|124|2015|01|08}}
| rowspan="2" |
|{{book|20|2024|12|24|aIIBBj6KR-Y|What if we put a pool on the moon?}}
|-
|{{book|7|short-video=yes|2025|08|12|mtTbwHzhUiM|Petition to send a swimming pool to the moon!}}
|-
|[[File:Bowling Ball 2.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|125|Bowling Ball}}'''
|''"You are in a boat directly over the Mariana Trench. If you drop a 7kg bowling ball over the side, how long would it take to hit the bottom?"''
<div align="right">—Doug Carter</div>
|It would take two hours and 20 minutes.
|{{blog|125|2015|01|15}}
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|[[File:Stairs (What If?).png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|126|Stairs}}'''
|''"If you made an elevator that would go to space (like the one you mentioned in the '''{{what if|94|billion-story building}}''') and built a staircase up (assuming regulated air pressure) about how long would it take to climb to the top?"''
<div align="right">—Ethan Annas</div>
|It would take about half a day by motorcycle, or a week or two for a professional stair-climber. If going on foot, you'd also need to carry a huge backpack stuffed with nothing but sticks of butter in order to get your daily caloric intake (including the energy expended from climbing the stairs).
|{{blog|126|2015|01|22}}
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|[[File:Tug of War.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|127|Tug of War}}'''
|''"Would it be possible for two teams in a tug-o-war to overcome the ultimate tensile strength of an iron rod and pull it apart? How big would the teams have to be?"''
<div align="right">—Markus Andersen</div>
|Two teams of 25 people each would be able to rip a half-inch iron bar apart: tug-o-war is a very dangerous game, as there's so much force being exerted on the rope. The theoretical upper limit of a game is 100,000 players each, pulling a 200-mile–long rope made of graphite ribbons.
|{{blog|127|2015|01|28|1d early}}
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|[[File:Zippo Phone.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|128|Zippo Phone}}'''
|''"What in my pocket actually contains more energy, my Zippo or my smartphone? What would be the best way of getting the energy from one to the other? And since I am already feeling like Bilbo in this one, is there anything else in my pocket that would have unexpected amounts of stored energy?"''
<div align="right">—Ian Cummings</div>
|The Zippo has more energy than your phone battery, but your hand would have even more, when burned as fuel.
|{{blog|128|2015|02|05|1d late}}
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|[[File:Black Hole Moon.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|129|Black Hole Moon}}'''
|''"What would happen if the Moon were replaced with an equivalently-massed black hole? If it's possible, what would a lunar ("holar"?) eclipse look like?"''
<div align="right">—Matt</div>
|Not much would change. A black hole of the Moon's mass would be the size of a sand grain, but gravitational effects would still be more or less the same here on Earth. There would be no moonlight, which would make the Earth a bit colder and mess with some nocturnal animals. You wouldn't see any lunar eclipses due to the tiny size of the Moon. It would only cause significant problems if humans were on the moon at the time.
|{{blog|129|2015|02|12}}
|
|{{book|28|2025|07|08|UQgw50GQu1A|What if the moon turned into a black hole?}}
|-
|[[File:Snow Removal.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|130|Snow Removal}}'''
|''"I've long thought about putting a flamethrower on the front of a car to melt snow and ice before you drive across it. Now I've realized that a flamethrower is impractical, but what about a high-powered microwave emitter?"''
<div align="right">—Matt Van Opens</div>
|The flamethrower is more practical because microwaves don't heat ice very well. The microwave beam would require the power output of three aircraft carriers, and the flamethrower would have a gas mileage of 17 feet per gallon. If you were to drive on the highway for an hour using this method, it would burn 18,635 gallons of gasoline, worth $40,000 to $50,000.
|{{blog|130|2015|02|19}}
|
|{{book|26|2025|05|27|WYf9-xfm6t8|What if you used a flamethrower as a snowblower?}}
|-
|[[File:Microwaves.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|131|Microwaves}}'''
|''"I have had a particular problem for as long as I can remember. Any time I attempt to heat left over Chinese food in a microwave, it fails to heat completely through somewhere. Usually the center but not always and usually rice, but often it will be a small section of meat. It's baffling and has made me automatically adjust heating times to over 2 minutes. In most cases this tends to heat the bowl or plate more than the food. So I suppose the question is what is the optimal time to heat left over Chinese food in the microwave, how about an 800 watt microwave?"''
<div align="right">—James</div>
|The first cause of this issue is that the wave pattern of microwaves create 'dead spots' where the food isn't heated. Secondly, melted ice causes some parts to cook while the rest is still defrosting. Use a lower power level, stir your food partway through microwaving, and let it sit for a few minutes before you eat it. This allows the heat to spread evenly.
|{{blog|131|2015|02|27|1d late}}
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|[[File:Hotter than Average.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|132|Hotter than Average}}'''
|''"I saw a sign at a hot springs tub saying "Caution: Water is hotter than average" with water at about 39°C. Although they were presumably trying to say "hotter than the average swimming pool," this got me wondering: What is the average temperature of all water on the Earth’s surface, and how does that temperature compare to 39°C?"''
<div align="right">—Graham Ward</div>
|The water average is the year-round average air temperature. By saying the water is "hotter than average", they're implying the water in the pool is not tied to it. Give the signmakers some credit.
|{{blog|132|2015|03|07|1d late}}
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|[[File:Flagpole.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|133|Flagpole}}'''
|''"So, you're falling from a height above the tallest building in your town, and you don't have a parachute. But wait! Partway down the side of that skyscraper there's a flagpole sticking out, sans flag! You angle your descent and grab the pole just long enough to swing around so that when you let go you're now heading back up toward the sky. As gravity slows you and brings you to a halt, you reach the top of the skyscraper, where you reach out and pull yourself to safety. What's the likelihood this could happen?"''
<div align="right">—Rex Ungericht</div>
|It would be impossible, even a gymnast's arms would be ripped off from the force.
|{{blog|133|2015|03|17|3d late}}
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|[[File:Space Burial.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|134|Space Burial}}'''
|''"I've often joked I'd like to have my remains put into orbit. Not in a "scatter my ashes" sense, but, like, "throw my naked corpse out the airlock" sense. Honestly, my main motivation is to baffle someone in the distant future, but it's an interesting scientific question: what would happen to my body in orbit over the course of years, decades or centuries?"''
<div align="right">—Tim in Fremont</div>
|Even before you were launched, your body would dry out very quickly. In low orbit, your body would fall to Earth and be burned from atmospheric re-entry. In a higher orbit, it would be destroyed from space debris. In high orbit, you could last for a few centuries. If your body was ever found it would mean there are a lot of people travelling around: making bodies pretty common.
|{{blog|134|2015|03|28|4d late}}
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|[[File:Digging Downward.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|135|Digging Downward}}'''
|''"What would happen if I dug straight down, at a speed of 1 foot per second? What would kill me first?"''
<div align="right">—Jack Kaunis</div>
|To remove all that soil, the energy required would heat up the surrounding beyond fatal levels pretty quickly. Immune to the heat, you could survive for one to two hours, as oxygen becomes toxic at depths higher than 5 kilometers.
|{{blog|135|2015|04|05|1d late}}
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|[[File:Spiders vs. the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|136|Spiders vs. the Sun}}'''
|''"Which has a greater gravitational pull on me: the Sun, or spiders? Granted, the Sun is much bigger, but it is also much further away, and as I learned in high school physics, the gravitational force is proportional to the square of the distance."''
<div align="right">—Marina Fleming</div>
|The Sun, by 13 orders of magnitude (the Sun is very big). But spiders are a lot more scary.
|{{blog|136|2015|04|12}}
|{{book|2|44}}
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|[[File:New Horizons.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|137|New Horizons}}'''
|''"What if New Horizons hits my car?"''
<div align="right">—Robin Sheat</div>
| ''Note: This question was created before ''New Horizons'' passed by Pluto.'' This is extremely unlikely. The ''New Horizons'' probe is quite large, but is considered small for a spacecraft. If it crashed into your car, there would be serious consequences. However, if it did, NASA would be on the hook to replace your car, along with most of your neighbourhood, and clean up the radioactive mess.
|{{blog|137|2015|07|14|2m 25d late}}
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|[[File:Jupiter Submarine.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|138|Jupiter Submarine}}'''
|''"What if you released a submarine into Jupiter's atmosphere? Would it eventually reach a point where it would float? Could it navigate?"''
<div align="right">—KTH</div>
|No. Before it got to the point where it could float, the submarine would be crushed by the high pressure and melted by the high temperature. This is because gasses behave differently to fluids: the point where things can float is at a much higher pressure.
|{{blog|138|2015|07|28|7d late}}
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|[[File:Jupiter Descending.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|139|Jupiter Descending}}'''
|''"If you did '''{{what if|138|fall into Jupiter's atmosphere in a submarine}}''', what would it actually look like? What would you see before you melted or burned up?"''
<div align="right">—Ada Munroe</div>
|There's not a whole lot to go on here; we have some data and educated guesses about what's going inside these gas giants, but we haven't sent any probes equipped with operational cameras into a gas giant so we don't really know. A book by Michael Carroll suggests that there is a layer between the upper ammonia haze and lower ammonium hydrosulfide clouds, that could provide some good views, and if so, the view would be similar to Earth's atmosphere in that clouds and fellow submarines would fade into blue.
|{{blog|139|2015|08|04}}
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|[[File:Proton Earth, Electron Moon.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|140|Proton Earth, Electron Moon}}'''
|''"What if the Earth were made entirely of protons, and the Moon were made entirely of electrons?"''
<div align="right">—Noah Williams</div>
|There would be so much energy packed into one space that it would create a black hole as massive as the observable universe that would expand outwards at the speed of light. Because of the charge from the electrons, it would be a {{w|naked singularity}}, a black hole with infinite mass that allows light to escape.
|{{blog|140|2015|09|18|1m 7d late}}
|{{book|2|48}}
|{{book|30|2025|9|9|DiWFXv9N0Vs|What if the Moon were made entirely of electrons?}}
|-
|[[File:Sunbeam.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|141|Sunbeam}}'''
|''"What if all of the sun's output of visible light were bundled up into a laser-like beam that had a diameter of around 1m once it reaches Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Max Schäfer</div>
|According to Randall, parts of the atmosphere would be heated to millions of degrees, and the bubble of destruction would wrap around the Earth before it even reached the other side. The light reflected off the Moon would be hot enough to burn you to death. If the beam couldn't track the Earth, part of it would survive as the Earth orbited out of the way. If the beam reached another planetary system, it could heat up the surface of some distant exoplanets. However, this conclusion depends on the precise nature of the "bundling up". If this "bundling" is accomplished via passive optics such as lenses and mirrors, then the temperature (and geometry) of the incoming beam will be restricted according to all the optics principles described in "Fire from Moonlight", and under no circumstances would any part of Earth's atmosphere or surface exceed 5000 K, due to the laws of thermodynamics. If, however, the "bundling" consists of an "active" procedure of generating electricity via PV panels, and then powering actual laser emitters with it (not just "laser-like") - which doesn't sound like Max's conception - then yes, the narrow beam of essentially "infinite" temperature and consequent destruction that Randall describes could indeed occur.
|{{blog|141|2016|01|12|3m 18d late}}
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|[[File:Space Jetta.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|142|Space Jetta}}'''
|''"What if I tried to re-enter the atmosphere in my car? (a 2000 VW Jetta TDI). Would it do more environmental damage than it is already apparently doing?"''
<div align="right">—Casey Berg</div>
|The effect of the car's re-entry itself on the environment is going to be small, verging on negligible. The effect of ceasing its usage to burn hydrocarbon fuel for the remainder of the car's life is likely significantly greater than the re-entry, but in practice also negligible. The main non-negligible environmental effect might be from the launch mechanism that was used to get into orbit in the first place, although even this effect, at current rocket launch rates, is still tiny compared to global air travel or ground-based automobile usage.
|{{blog|142|2016|01|20|1d late}}
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|[[File:Europa Water Siphon.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|143|Europa Water Siphon}}'''
|''"What if you built a siphon from the oceans on Europa to Earth? Would it flow once it's set up? (We have an idea for selling bottled Europa water.)"''
<div align="right">—A group of Google Search SREs</div>
|No, at least not with a siphon. Siphons can only pull water upward to a height where the air pressure feeding water into one side of the siphon equals the weight of the water falling out the other side (creating negative pressure, trying to form a vacuum, which nature abhors). This effect requires a gravitational field and an atmosphere, but cannot be used to pump water above the local atmosphere, and hence out of the local gravity well, under any circumstances - including on Europa.
|{{blog|143|2016|01|26|1d early}}
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|[[File:Saliva Pool.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|144|Saliva Pool}}'''
|''"How long would it take for a single person to fill up an entire swimming pool with their own saliva?"''
<div align="right">—Mary Griffin, 9th grade</div>
|For an Olympic pool, it would take you 8,345 years. In order to finish by the present day, you'd need to start during the invention of agriculture.
|{{blog|144|2016|02|02}}
|{{book|2|53}}
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|[[File:Fire From Moonlight.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|145|Fire From Moonlight}}'''
|''"Can you use a magnifying glass and moonlight to light a fire?"''
<div align="right">—Rogier Spoor</div>
|Unfortunately, it is not possible to summarize Randall's article succinctly, because most of his explanation is completely irrelevant to the question. Randall's answer is effectively "No, and here are a set of correct principles of optics that do not support my claim." The correct answer is "Yes, just like it is possible to start a fire with sunlight reflected off anything else, because the temperature/wavelength/energy of light does not change (substantially) when it is reflected, and the temperature of visible sunlight is around 5000 to 6000 K." (The obvious assumption about the intent behind Rogier's question is that "moonlight" refers to the reflected sunlight, and not the Moon's own surface emission of longwave infrared radiation with a temperature of 300 - 400 K, which we can't see - but this should really be clarified by Rogier.)
|{{blog|145|2016|02|09}}
|{{book|2|51}}
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|[[File:Stop Jupiter.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|146|Stop Jupiter}}'''
|''"I understand that the ''New Horizons'' craft used gravity assist from Jupiter to increase its speed on the way to Pluto. I also understand that by doing this, Jupiter slowed down very slightly. How many flyby runs would it take to stop Jupiter completely?"''
<div align="right">—Dillon</div>
|Even if we were to throw Earth at Jupiter, this could never happen, because Jupiter is much more massive than Earth. Gravity assists are like bouncing a tennis ball off a train, and to stop the train, you'd need an awfully large tennis ball. 
|{{blog|146|2016|02|16}}
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|[[File:Niagara Straw.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|147|Niagara Straw}}'''
|''"What would happen if one tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a straw?"''
<div align="right">—David Gwizdala</div>
|In order to funnel Niagara Falls through a straw, you'd need to accelerate the water to one-quarter light speed, and no machine exists that's capable of doing that. If you somehow could do it, the resulting waterjet would have the power output of a small star, and would boil away the oceans and wipe out all life on Earth.
|{{blog|147|2016|02|26}} 3d late)
|{{book|2|55}}
|{{book|27|2025|06|17|pfbzrrcQZjs|What if you funneled Niagara Falls through a straw?}}
|-
|[[File:Eat the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|148|Eat the Sun}}'''
|''"What percentage of the Sun's heat (per day) does the population of Earth eat in calories per year? What changes could be made to our diets for the amount of calories to equal the energy of the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—James Mitchell</div>
|0.000000000065%. This is such a ridiculously small portion of the Sun's heat exhaust, that we cannot increase our personal calory intake enough to compensate. Instead we need to add more persons. A lot of them in fact. So many that we need to spread them - and the food that they eat - out throughout not just our galaxy but multiple galaxies. Otherwise, the food alone would be massive enough to turn into a black hole.
|{{blog|148|2016|03|12|8d late}}
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|[[File:Pizza Bird.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|149|Pizza Bird}}'''
|''"My boyfriend recently took a flight on a plane with wifi, and while he was up there, wistfully asked if I could send him a pizza. I jokingly sent him a photo of a parrot holding a pizza slice in its beak. Obviously, my boyfriend had to go without pizza until he landed at JFK. But this raised the question: could a bird deliver a standard 20" New York-style cheese pizza in a box? And if so, what kind of bird would it take?"''
<div align="right">—Tina Nguyen</div>
|After careful analysis of wing types, relative weights, and pizza grabbing mechanisms, it is deduced that even the most compatible bird - the eagle - would be hard-pressed to deliver a pizza to an airliner, the relative speed being the largest hurdle. However, delivery to a house - where the relative speed is not so much of a problem - would be possible, though the pizza might be found a slice or two short.
|{{blog|149|2016|03|26|7d late}}
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|[[File:Tatooine Rainbow.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|150|Tatooine Rainbow}}'''
|''"Since rainbows are caused by the refraction of the sunlight by tiny droplets of rainwater, what would rainbow look like on Earth if we had two suns like Tatooine?"''
<div align="right">—Raga</div>
|Each sun is the source of not just one rainbow, but a whole series of rainbows of diminishing intensity; the elusive 5th order rainbow had apparently been pictured at the time of publication. A planet with two suns would consequently have two series of rainbows. A solar system arranged like Tatooine would have to be circumbinary, which limits the separation of the two rainbow series to about 20 degrees. As the main rainbow is 84 degrees across, this leads to the conclusion that the rainbows would always be overlapping.
|{{blog|150|2016|05|23|1m 21d late}}
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|[[File:Sun Bug.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|151|Sun Bug}}'''
|''"How many fireflies would it take to match the brightness of the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—Luke Doty</div>
|30 nonillion fireflies (3 with 31 zeroes after it), which is surprisingly small on the astronomical scale. Counterintuitively, it turns out a single firefly actually glows brighter than an equivalent mass of Sun. However, there are logistical problems with organizing that many fireflies, as you need to arrange them so that they're not blocking each others' lights. You can try to simplify it by just using one very large firefly, but it would be larger than the entire Solar System and immediately collapse into the biggest black hole in the universe.
|{{blog|151|2016|07|21|1m 23d late}}
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|[[File:Flood Death Valley.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|152|Flood Death Valley}}'''
|''"Since Death Valley is below sea level could we dig a hole to the ocean and fill it up with water?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Traeden</div>
|Basically, yes. But there is a lot of digging, and the end result would be quite similar to the Salton Sea which is characterized as "gross" (technical term). Also, heat world records would likely move elsewhere.
|{{blog|152|2016|10|18|2m 21d late}}
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|''The thumbnail for this blog article wasn't archived.''
|'''<span class="plainlinks">[https://web.archive.org/web/20161205191559/http://what-if.xkcd.com/153 Peptides]</span>'''
|''"What is the longest English word you can spell using the one letter abbreviations of the 20 genetic amino acids? What about the three letter abbreviations? What would the resultant peptides look like?"''
<div align="right">—Kira (Lysine-Isoleucine-Arginine-Alanine) Guth</div>
|For any peptides, 19 letters is the highest possible, that being the word "interdepartmentally". For naturally existing peptides in the human body, 8 letters is the highest known. Examples of 8 letters are: GRISETTE, DATELESS, REVERSAL.
|{{blog|153|2016|12|05|notAvailable=Published by accident and deleted: [[what if? (blog)#top|learn more]]}}
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|[[File:Hide the Atmosphere.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|153|Hide the Atmosphere}}'''
|''"Earth’s atmosphere is really thin compared to the radius of the Earth. How big a hole do I need to dig before people suffocate?"''
<div align="right">—Sam Burke</div>
|The hole would need to be very big. Under the right circumstances, a five-mile hole over the entire state of Texas might suffice.
|{{blog|153|2017|01|30|3m 5d late}}
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|[[File:Coast-to-Coast Coasting.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|154|Coast-to-Coast Coasting}}'''
|''"What if the entire continental US was on a decreasing slope from West to East. How steep would the slope have to be to sustain the momentum needed to ride a bicycle the entire distance without pedaling?"''
<div align="right">—Brandon Rooks</div>
|The ramp would need to be five miles high (eight kilometres) to make this possible, and that would be at a speed slower than walking. You would also need oxygen for the first third of the way down.
|{{blog|154|2017|02|08|9d late}}
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|[[File:Toaster vs. Freezer.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|155|Toaster vs. Freezer}}'''
|''"Would a toaster still work in a freezer?"''
<div align="right">—<span class="plainlinks">[https://maximumfun.org/podcasts/my-brother-my-brother-and-me/ '''My Brother, My Brother, and Me'''], [https://maximumfun.org/episodes/my-brother-my-brother-and-me/mbmbam-343-sauce-doctors-blessing/ '''Episode 343'''], discussing a </span>Yahoo Answers question</div>
|As a superior being, the Toaster casts its gaze upon lowly humans and hrumphs at their bickering about such measly temperature variations as 40C. The Toaster regularly reaches 600C and thus, to it - much like to the Fire - everything else is cold, be it room temperature or freezer temperature. Winnipeg locals have it easy and can try this for themselves, as long as they can stave off the wolves.
|{{blog|155|2017|02|28|13d late}}
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|[[File:Electrofishing for Whales.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|156|Electrofishing for Whales}}'''
|''"I used to work on a fisheries crew where we would use an electro-fisher backpack to momentarily stun small fish (30 - 100 mm length) so we could scoop them up with nets to identify and measure them. The larger fish tended to be stunned for slightly longer because of their larger surface area but I don't imagine this relationship would be maintained for very large animals. Could you electrofish for a blue whale? At what voltage would you have have to set the e-fisher?"''
<div align="right">—Madeline Cooper</div>
|Electrofishing has long-term effects on fish and especially dolphins. Larger animals, especially mammals, are likely to die rather than just get stunned. But it is also harder to get any effect in saltwater, which explains why electrofishing is mainly done in rivers and lakes, compared to fresh water. This means it wouldn't work on blue whales.
|{{blog|156|2017|03|09|2d late}}
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|[[File:Earth-Moon Fire Pole.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|157|Earth-Moon Fire Pole}}'''
|''"My son (5y) asked me today: If there were a kind of a fireman's pole from the Moon down to the Earth, how long would it take to slide all the way from the Moon to the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Ramon Schönborn, Germany</div>
|This set-up would face many challenges, but these would be the different domains of the slowest extreme sport: climbing out of the Moon's gravity, accelerating through the middle transfer phase, and then decelerating to your supersonic arrival on Earth.
|{{blog|157|2018|03|21|1y 2m 5d late}}
|{{book|2|58}}
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|[[File:Hot Banana.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|158|Hot Banana}}'''
|''"I heard that bananas are radioactive. If they are radioactive, then they radiate energy. How many bananas would you need to power a house?"''
<div align="right">—Kang Ji</div>
|Bananas are not very radioactive, so it would take an absurdly large number. However, gathering that many bananas in one place would have negative consequences. New York no longer exists.
|{{blog|158|2022|05|04|3y 11m 7d late}}
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|[[File:Hailstones.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|159|Hailstones}}'''
|''"My 4 year old son and I were wondering about soccer ball sized hail today. How much damage would a hail storm with size 5 soccer ball sized hail do?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Grill</div>
|Hailstones get increasingly dangerous as they get larger, as their increased weight cancels their air resistance, allowing them to reach a higher terminal velocity while still carrying all that mass. Regular hailstones are too slow and light to be lethal, but a soccer ball-sized hailstone would hit at around 140 mph, capable of punching straight through the roof of a car or building. Fortunately, no hailstone on record has ever been that big, although storms can on occasion produce hailstones large enough to damage cars, and in rare cases even kill people.
|{{blog|159|2022|07|05|1m 30d late}}
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|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{What If|160|Transatlantic Car Rental}}'''
|''"My daughter recently received her driver's permit in the US, and aspires to visit mainland Europe someday. She has learned enough about the rules of the road to know never to drive into the ocean; however, she jokingly suggested that given a sufficient quantity of rental cars, she could eventually get to Europe by driving east repeatedly. The question is, how many vehicles would it take to build a car-bridge across the Atlantic?"''
<div align="right">—Eric Munson</div>
|You'd need approximately a billion plus a trillion cars to pull this off. Also, in addition to destroying global ocean circulation and creating an illegal naval blockade, this is definitely a violation of her rental car agreement. Also, organizing a fleet of that many rental cars would be difficult.
|{{blog|160|2022|09|06|1m 26d late}}
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|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{What If|161|Star Ownership}}'''
|''"If every country's airspace extended up forever, which country would own the largest percentage of the galaxy at any given time?"''
<div align="right">—Reuven Lazarus</div>
|Given that the South pole (of Earth) points towards the Milky way centre, most of the galaxy will wind up in the air-space (space-space?) of countries of the southern hemisphere. However, due to Earth's rotation around its axis, the nadir of the galaxy core (on Earth) will constantly shift. Given that Australia is the largest of the southern countries, Australia will most often be the Rulers of the Universe. Northern hemisphere jurisdictions, such as New Jersey, will have to contend with some pretty nifty black holes and possibly murderous exoplanets.
|{{blog|161|2022|11|01|1m 19d late}}
|{{book|2|24}}
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|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{What If|162|Comet Ice}}'''
|''"Could I cool down the Earth by capturing a comet and dropping it in the ocean, like an ice cube in a glass of water?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Becker</div>
|Only if you had a magical sky-crane that could cancel the comet's initial kinetic energy during capture, then slowly lower it to the ground without converting all of its gravitational potential energy back into more kinetic energy. Converting that potential energy into electricity to substitute for existing fossil fuel power plants would reduce CO2 emissions, but the effect of that substitution on global temperatures is uncertain and likely negligible. Meanwhile, the amount of ice in a comet that could be used to cool the oceans directly is also less than one would expect from its size, since comets are not solid. Overall, the answer is effectively "no".
|{{blog|162|2022|12|06|29d late}}
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|'''Global Windstorm'''
|''"What would happen if the Earth and all terrestrial objects suddenly stopped spinning, but the atmosphere retained its velocity?"''
<div align="right">—Andrew Brown</div>
|Everyone would die. Then, the wind would destroy everything, with gusts blowing more than 1,000 mph (1,600 km/h) around the equator, killing 85% of the world population. The highest winds would only last a few minutes, but that would be enough to vaporise most human structures. Bunkers would be useless, because, even if your bunker were stuck to the ground hard, others would not be as strong and would hit yours at 1,000 mph. However, most of the researchers at the {{w|Amundsen–Scott South Pole Station}} would be completely fine. The wind blast would then become a heat blast with scorching temperatures and create global thunderstorms in moist areas. After a while, the Earth would gradually start to regain its rotational velocity thanks to the Moon.
|
|{{book|1|1}}
|{{book|4|2024|01|09|gp5G1QG6cXc|What if Earth suddenly stopped spinning?}}
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #1'''
| colspan="2" |''"Would it be possible to get your teeth to such a cold temperature that they would shatter upon drinking a hot cup of coffee?"''
<div align="right">—Shelby Hebert</div>
<div align="right"></div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|4}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"How many houses are burned down in the United States every year? What would be the easiest way to increase that number by a significant amount (say, at least 15%)?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
|
|'''New York–Style Time Machine'''
|''"I assume when you travel back in time you end up at the same spot on the Earth’s surface. At least, that’s how it worked in the Back to the Future movies. If so, what would it be like if you traveled back in time, starting in Times Square, New York, 1000 years? 10,000 years? 100,000 years? 1,000,000 years? 1,000,000,000 years? What about foward in time 1,000,000 years?"''
<div align="right">—Mark Dettling</div>
|
*1,000 years back, you'd see many chestnut trees, wolves, and passenger pigeons.
*10,000 years back, the ground would be mostly bedrock, with large chunks of ice and dropped boulders, called glacial erratics.
*100,000 years back, several islands were pushed upwards by the ice. You would see many now-extinct species, such as Canis dirus, Smilodon fatalis, and Arctodus.
*1,000,000 years back, you'd see relatives of hyenas called Chasmaporthetes.
*1,000,000,000 years back would be no plants or animals, only single-celled organisms in the ocean.
|
|{{book|1|5}}
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|'''Periodic Wall of the Elements'''
|''"What would happen if you made a periodic table out of cube-shaped bricks, where each brick was made of the corresponding element?"''
<div align="right">—Andy Connolly</div>
|The top two rows wouldn't be too dangerous to build, but the rest of the periodic table would seriously injure or kill you. In the sixth row, elements with short half-lives would destroy the room you were in as well as causing nuclear fallout to fall nearby. Past the sixth row, the entire city you were in would be destroyed.
|
|{{book|1|8}}
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| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #2'''
| colspan="2" |''"Would dumping anti-matter into the Chernobyl reactor when it was melting down stop the meltdown?"''
<div align="right">—AJ</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|12}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"Is it possible to cry so much you dehydrate yourself?"''<div align="right">—Karl Wildermuth</div>
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''The Last Human Light'''
| rowspan="2" |''"If every human somehow simply disappeared from the face of the Earth, how long would it be before the last artificial light source would go out?"''
<div align="right">—Alan</div>
| rowspan="2" |Radioactive waste that was mixed with glass will glow for centuries.
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|13}}
|{{book|11|2024|05|28|8fADp43wJwU|If all humans died, when would the last light go out?}}
|-
|{{book|5|short-video=yes|2025|07|29|kNry0bf7eC0|Could this be the last surviving human light source?}}
|-
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #3'''
| colspan="2" |''"Given humanity’s current knowledge and capabilities, is it possible to build a new star?"''
<div align="right">—Jeff Gordon</div>
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|16}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"What sort of logistic anomalies would you encounter in trying to raise an army of apes?"''<div align="right">—Kevin</div>
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If people had wheels and could fly, how would we differentiate them from airplanes?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Orbital Submarine'''
| rowspan="2" |''"How long would a nuclear submarine last in orbit?"''
<div align="right">—Jason Lathbury</div>
| rowspan="2" |Submarines are, unsurprisingly, very good at being watertight. This would mean that, mostly, air would stay within the submarine for a time. However, a nuclear submarine is able to stay under for so long because it can convert seawater into oxygen. With no seawater, no oxygen is made, which means that eventually they will run out of air. Getting back into the atmosphere would be tricky. Firing all of a submarine's missiles backwards (i.e. towards the ship) with their detonators removed would produce just enough force for the sub to deorbit and reenter the atmosphere. At that point, the heat and forces of reentry would rip the submarine apart, similar to the {{w|Space Shuttle Challenger disaster}}.
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|17}}
|{{book|7|2024|03|05|EsUBRd1O2dU|Would a Submarine Work as a Spaceship?}}
|-
|{{book|4|short-video=yes|2025|07|22|sFTRRdHqZIQ|Why Space Is Actually Warm!}}
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #4'''
| colspan="2" |''"Would it be possible to stop a volcano eruption by placing a bomb (thermobaric or nuclear) underneath the surface?"''
<div align="right">—Tomasz Gruszka</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|20}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"A friend of mine is convinced that there is sound in space. There isn’t, right?"''<div align="right">—Aaron Smith</div>
|-
|
|'''Human Computer'''
|''"How much computing power could we achieve if the entire world population stopped whatever we are doing right now and started doing calculations? How would it compare to a modern-day computer or smartphone?"''
<div align="right">—Mateusz Knorps</div>
|The combined computing power of all devices surpassed the power of all humans in 1977.
|
|{{book|1|21}}
|
|-
|
|'''Common Cold'''
|''"If everyone on the planet stayed away from each other for a couple of weeks, wouldn't the common cold virus be wiped out?"''
<div align="right">—Sarah Ewart</div>
|In theory, this would work. In practice, it wouldn't for a simple reason: Some people have compromised immune systems. These people's bodies can be a safe haven for rhinoviruses, which would mean the common cold, would quickly spread through the population again. The world's food supplies would also be an issue, as people may need to eat foods not designed to be eaten directly (i.e. raw grain). Many systems would shut down as people wouldn't be there to maintain them. Many millions would be stranded in places like Antarctica or the Sahara Desert, which would lead to many deaths. In effect, the scenario would be similar to 'Everybody Jump'.
|
|{{book|1|25}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #5'''
| colspan="2" |''" If global warming puts us in danger through temperature rise, and super-volcanos put us into danger of global cooling, shouldn’t those two dangers balance each other out?"''
<div align="right">—Florian Seidl-Schulz</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|27}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"How fast would a human have to run in order to be cut in half at the bellybutton by a cheese-cutting wire?"''<div align="right">—Jon Merrill</div>
|-
|
|'''No More DNA'''
|''"This may be a bit gruesome, but... if someone's DNA suddenly vanished, how long would that person last?"''
<div align="right">—Nina Charest</div>
|You could live for several hours or days before succumbing to infection or systemwide organ failure.
|
|{{book|1|29}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #6'''
| colspan="2" |''"What is the total nutritional value (calories, fat, vitamins, minerals, etc.) of the average human body?"''
<div align="right">—Justin Risner</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|31}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"What temperature would a chainsaw (or other cutting implement) need to be at to instantly cauterize any injuries inflicted with it?"''<div align="right">—Sylvia Gallagher</div>
|-
|
|'''Flyover States'''
|''"Which US state is actually flown over the most?"''
<div align="right">—Jesse Ruderman</div>
|Somewhat surprisingly,Virgina, due to a large amount of flights from Toronto to the Carribbean/South America. Despite it having many major airports, inlcluding most of those serving DC, there are also many major airports which have routes passing over Virginia, such as KATL and KJFK.
|
|{{book|1|33}}
|
|-
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #7'''
| colspan="2" |''"In Thor the main character is at one point spinning his hammer so fast that he creates a strong tornado. Would this be possible in real life?"''
<div align="right">—Davor</div>
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|36}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If you saved a whole life’s worth of kissing and used all that suction power on one single kiss, how much suction force would that single kiss have?"''<div align="right">—Jonatan Lindström</div>
|-
| colspan="2" |''"How many nuclear missiles would have to be launched at the United States to turn it into a complete wasteland?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
|
|'''Self-Fertilization'''
|''"I read about some researchers who were trying to produce sperm from bone marrow stem cells. If a woman were to have sperm cells made from her own stem cells and impregnate herself, what would be her relationship to her daughter?"''
<div align="right">—R Scott LaMorte</div>
|As the child is coming from, effectively, two parents with identical DNA, there would be many genetic defects, similar to being inbred. As there is no father to contribute a Y chromosome, the child is guaranteed to be a girl.
|
|{{book|1|37}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #8'''
| colspan="2" |''"A toxin blocks the ability of the nephron tubule reabsorption but does not affect filtration. What are the possible short-term effects of this toxin?"''
<div align="right">—Mary</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|40}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If a Venus fly trap could eat a person, about how long would it take for the human to be fully de-juiced and absorbed?"''<div align="right">—Jonathan Wang</div>
|-
|
|'''Lost Immortals'''
|''"If two immortal people were placed on opposite sides of an uninhabited Earthlike planet, how long would it take them to find each other? 100,000 years? 1,000,000 years? 100,000,000,000 years?"''
<div align="right">—Ethan Lake</div>
|Depending on strategy and terrain, a few years to a few decades.
|
|{{book|1|42}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #9'''
| colspan="2" |''"Could you survive a tidal wave by submerging yourself in an in-ground pool?"''
<div align="right">—Chris Muska</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|46}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If you are in free fall and your parachute fails, but you have a Slinky with extremely convenient mass, tension, etc., would it be''
possible to save yourself by throwing the Slinky upward while holding on to one end of it?"<div align="right">—Varadarajan Srinivasan</div>
|-
|
|'''Sparta'''
|''"In the movie 300 they shoot arrows up into the sky and they seemingly blot out the sun. Is this possible, and how many arrows would it take?"''
<div align="right">—Anna Newell</div>
|300 arrows per second with densely packed archers could blot out 99% of the Sun's light. If the Sun were low in the horizon, you could more effectively block sunlight with less arrows. However, this would have little to no effect on the opponent, unless it required solar panels.
|
|{{book|1|47}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lego Bridge'''
|''"How many Lego bricks would it take to build a bridge capable of carrying traffic from London to New York? Have that many Lego bricks been manufactured?"''
<div align="right">—Jerry Petersen</div>
|Enough bricks have been manufactured to connect London and New York, but the bridge would not be structurally sound enough to stay together for very long.
|
|{{book|1|51}}
|
|-
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #10'''
| colspan="2" |''"What is the probability that if I am stabbed by a knife in my torso that it won’t hit anything vital and I’ll live?"''
<div align="right">—Thomas</div>
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|54}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If I were on a motorbike and do a jump off a quarter pipe ramp, how fast would I need to be moving to safely deploy and land using the parachute?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
| colspan="2" |''"What if every day, every human had a 1 percent chance of being turned into a turkey, and every turkey had a 1 percent chance of''
being turned into a human?"<div align="right">—Kenneth</div>
|-
|
|'''Weightless Arrow'''
|''"Assuming a zero-gravity environment with an atmosphere identical to Earth's, how long would it take the friction of air to stop an arrow fired from a bow? Would it eventually come to a standstill and hover in midair?"''
<div align="right">—Mark Estano</div>
|It would stop at about 5 to 10 kilometers.
|
|{{book|1|56}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''All the Lightning'''
| rowspan="2" |''"If all the lightning strikes happening in the world on any given day all happened in the same place at once, what would happen to that place?"''
<div align="right">—Trevor Jones</div>
| rowspan="2" |It would create a crater the size of a basketball court.
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|62}}
|{{book|10|2024|05|07|fs28lEq9smw|What if all the lightning on Earth struck the same place at once?}}
|-
|{{book|3|short-video=yes|2025|07|15|_efsqO-4OoQ|Could We Harvest Power From Lightning?}}
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #11'''
| colspan="2" |''"What if everyone in Great Britain went to one of the coasts and started paddling? Could they move the island at all?"''
<div align="right">—Ellen Eubanks</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|64}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"Are fire tornadoes possible?"''<div align="right">—Seth Wishman</div>
|-
|
|'''Neutron Bullet'''
|''"If a bullet with the density of a neutron star were fired from a handgun (ignoring the how) at the Earth's surface, would the Earth be destroyed?"''
<div align="right">—Charlotte Ainsworth</div>
|No. The bullet would fall through the ground and stop in the center of the Earth.
|
|{{book|1|67}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #12'''
| colspan="2" |''"What if I swallow a tick that has Lyme disease? Will my stomach acid kill the tick and the borreliosis, or would I get Lyme disease from the inside out?"''
<div align="right">—Christopher Vogel</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|68}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"Assuming a relatively uniform resonant frequency in a passenger jet, how many cats, meowing at what resonant frequency of said jet, would be required to "bring it down"?"<div align="right">—Brittany</div>
|-
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Richter 15'''
| rowspan="3" |''"What if a Richter magnitude 15 earthquake were to hit America at, let's say, New York City? What about a Richter 20? 25?"''
<div align="right">—Alec Farid</div>
| rowspan="3" |A magnitude 15 earthquake would destroy the Earth, but going higher won't make much difference. You can actually go lower than 0, though.
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" {{book|1|69}}
|{{book|2|2023|12|05|e3uk7jU3RHo|What would a magnitude 15 earthquake be like?}}
|-
|{{book|1|short-video=yes|2025|06|24|wBLVmEZV2Oc|How high could the magnitude of Earthquakes go?}}
|-
|{{book|2|short-video=yes|2025|07|01|FKXVs4UteSc|Is there such a thing as a magnitude 0 earthquake?}}
|-
|
|'''Soupiter'''
|''"What would happen if the Solar System was filled with soup out to Jupiter?"''
<div align="right">—Amelia</div>
|The soup would collapse into a very large black hole and devour the Milky Way, though we would feel mostly fine for the first 10 to 15 minutes.
|
|{{book|2|1}}
|
|-
|
|'''Helicopter Ride'''
|''"What if you were hanging on a helicopter blade by your hands and then someone turned it on?"''
<div align="right">—Corban Blanset</div>
|Without any grip assistance, you'd fall off before it completed its first revolution. With handholds, your body would instead fall off of your arms. Assuming no issues with staying on the wing, there would be more problems to follow. The helicopter, as it spooled up, would begin violently wobbling due to the constantly changing center of gravity before flipping itself, destroying both you and the pilot in a massive fireball.
|
|{{book|2|2}}
|
|-
|
|'''Dangerously Cold'''
|''"Would there be any danger from standing next to a large object that was 0 Kelvin?"''
<div align="right">—Christopher</div>
|There wouldn't be a lot of direct danger from the cube itself, though it would make you feel cold. The bigger danger would be from liquid oxygen condensing and igniting flammable objects. It would take a while to reheat the cube
|
|{{book|2|3}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ironic Vaporization'''
|''"What if we somehow evaporated a solid block of iron on {{asic|ear|th''}}''?"''
<div align="right">—Cooper C.</div>
|The cube would ignite whatever is near it and deposit large quantities of iron flakes downwind. However, it wouldn't make a huge impact on the total amount of atmospheric iron.
|
|{{book|2|4}}
|
|-
|
|'''Cosmic Road Trip'''
|''"If the universe stopped expanding right now, how long would it take for a human to drive a car all the way to the edge of the universe?"''
<div align="right">—Sam H-H</div>
|First off, a human can't do this. Assuming a normal crash rate, an average human driver wouldn't make it past Mars without crashing. Even truck drivers, a field where the crash rate is much lower, wouldn't make it past Jupiter. Using a self-driving car, however, would negate this. It would take an incredibly long time, on the order of approximately 480 quadrillion years if you're driving at a steady pace of 65 miles per hour. Assuming you want to keep your car functional, you would go through 30 quintillion oil changes. Assuming a reasonable 33 MPG highway mileage, the amount of gasoline needed would be similar to the Moon in size. You would also need 10^17 tons of snacks. Entertainment would be another issue. If every person who has ever lived had 150 friends/acquaintances, listening to a real-time podcast of someone's life, all from the perspective of a different friend/acquaintance, you would need to re-watch them all 150 times to make it to the edge of the observable universe. Once you get there, there would be no Earth to come back to.
|
|{{book|2|5}}
|
|-
|
|'''Pigeon Chair'''
|''"How many pigeons would it require in order to lift the average person and launch a chair to the height of Australia's Q1 skyscraper?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Evans</div>
|The optimal method for using the least amount of pigeons would be to use a multi-stage system of sorts. A group of pigeons would lift you about 10 feet, before dropping you as another group swoops in to take their place. However, even with this system, the number of pigeons would be large enough that the Earth would be pulled into the pigeons by gravity instead of the other way around. In other words, if you want to get to the top of Australia's Q1 skyscraper, use an elevator.
|
|{{book|2|6}}
|
|-
|rowspan="11"|
|rowspan="11"|'''Short Answers #1'''
|''"What if your blood became liquid uranium? Would you die from radiation, lack of oxygen, or something else?"''
<div align="right">—Thomas Chattaway</div>
|You would die Having-no-Blood-and-Being-Full-of-Molten-Uranium Syndrome. Also known as Jeff's Disease.
|rowspan="11"|
|rowspan="11"{{book|2|6.5}} (S1)
|rowspan="11"|
|-
|''"Could someone have an anime-style attack where they created a sword out of air? I'm not talking about an air blade, but something like cooling the air enough so that you had solid air to attack people."''
<div align="right">—Emma</div>
|Theoretically yes, but it would be extremely impractical. The temperature to turn oxygen solid is very low, and even with proper insulation it would still cause frostbite. It would also be very weak and very soft, and would sublimate quickly, basically making it useless for all intensive purposes, except for PR.
|-
|''"How much water do you have to drink to become 99 percent water?"''
<div align="right">—LyraxH</div>
|About 500 gallons of water.
|-
|''"What would we see if we attached a lightweight camera to a balloon and let it fly away?"''
<div align="right">—Raymond Peng</div>
|We would see a balloon slowly flying away, fading into the sky. It would be quite pretty. Though next time we should probably attach a transmitter.
|-
|''"How many calories does Mario burn a day?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel and Xavier Hovley</div>
|Mario starved to death in late 1985.
|-
|''"If a snake unhinged its jaw and swallowed a balloon whole, could/would the balloon carry the snake up?"''
<div align="right">—Freezachu</div>
|No.
|-
|''"If you were to jump out of an airplane that was traveling at Mach 880980 that was 100,00 feet above ground in New York City, with skydiving gear, could you survive?"''
<div align="right">—Jack Catten</div>
|rowspan="2"|No, you would die.
|-
|''"If there was no water on Earth, would we all live?"''
<div align="right">—Karen</div>
|-
|''"Is it possible to make a homemade jetpack?"''
<div align="right">—Azhari Zadil</div>
|It's very easy to make one that works once; much harder to make it work more.
|-
|''"I was wondering whether there's a way to use my welder as a defibrillator? (The specific model I own is an Impax IM-ARC140 arc welder.)"''
<div align="right">—Łukasz Grabowski</div>
|No, and you probably shouldn't be allowed to use it as an arc welder either.
|-
|''"What if all atoms on Earth were expanded to the size of a grape? Would we survive?
|I don't know how to answer this with science, but now I want grapes.
|-
|
|'''Geyser'''
|''"If one were to stand on top of the Old Faithful geyser in Yellowstone National Park, at what speed would they be launched upwards and what injuries would they likely sustain?"''
<div align="right">—Catherine McGrath</div>
|If you positioned yourself in just the right way, and used an umbrella to catch as much lift as possible, you could be launched hundreds of feet in the air. Unsurprisingly, you'd receive severe burns and almost certainly die. Surprisingly, however, you would be far from the first person to get severe burns from the geysers.
|
|{{book|2|8}}
|
|-
|
|'''Pew, Pew, Pew'''
|''"If you shot a ridiculously powerful gun/{{asic|la|zer''}}'' would it go off the edge of the world in a straight line or curve around the world?"''
<div align="right">—Maelor</div>
|The beam would go off the edge of the world, except under certain circumstances.
|
|{{book|2|9}}
|
|-
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"|'''Weird & Worrying #1'''
|colspan="2"|''"Can bees or other animals go to hell? Or can they murder other bees without consequences?"''
<div align="right">—Sadie Kim</div>
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"{{book|2|10.5}} (W1)
|rowspan="4"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"How many mirrors reflecting (sun)light would it take to kill, or at least, injure somebody?"''
<div align="right">—Eli Collinge</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If you had to remove the tonsils of a giant, what would be the safest way for you to do it? The surgeon is a normal human."''
<div align="right">—Tirzah</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"What would it take to defeat Air Force One with a drone???"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
|
|'''Banana Church'''
|''"Can all the world's bananas fit inside of all of the world's churches? My friends have had this argument for a little over 10 years now."''
<div align="right">—Jonas</div>
|<big><big>{{notice2|'''Most of these are too short!'''}}</big></big> <big><big>{{notice|'''If you own the second book, please help us by explaining more!'''}}</big></big> Yes. They would likely only fill the churches to 6 inches deep. For the bananas to be unable to fit, each person would need to eat a 1 foot by 1 foot by 2 meter crate's worth of bananas per year.
|
|{{book|2|11}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lose Weight the Slow and Incredibly Difficult Way'''
|''"I want to lose 20 pounds. How much of the Earth's mass would I have to "relocate" to space in order to achieve my goal?"''
<div align="right">—Ryan Murphy</div>
|You would have to remove 85% of the Earth's mass. However, due to the increase in density in the mantle, you would actually gain weight until you've removed about half the Earth's diameter. An image of what it would look like is shown in [[2575: What If? 2]], where a potato peeler is used to remove the crust of the Earth.
|
|{{book|2|13}}
|
|-
|
|'''Jupiter Comes to Town'''
|''"Dear Randall, what would happen if you shrunk Jupiter down to the size of a house and placed in a neighborhood, say, replacing a house?"''
<div align="right">—Zachary</div>
|Assuming density stayed the same when you shrunk Jupiter down, the biggest issue would be that the gravity that keeps its hot interior together would no longer exist, essentially creating a giant fireball that would turn into a mushroom cloud, and eventually spread out into a big cool cloud. This would, effectively, be the reverse of the formation of Jupiter, which started as clouds before being compressed into a small hot ball.
|
|{{book|2|15}}
|
|-
|
|'''Swing Set'''
|''"How tall can a swing set be while still being powered by a human pumping their legs? Is it possible to build a swing set tall enough to launch the rider into space if they jump at the right time? (Assuming the human has enough energy, which my 5-year-old seems to have.)"''
<div align="right">—Joe Coyle</div>
|This is impossible due to the fact that, by pumping the legs, you are essentially pushing against the crossbar of the swing set. A string which is too long will result in a very low amount of force being delivered to the crossbar, lowering the maximum angle you can swing relative to the base of the curve. Calculations show that the optimal crossbar height to gain the most angle relative to the ground is approximately 8 feet.
|
|{{book|2|17}}
|
|-
|
|'''Airliner Catapult'''
|''"My friend is a commercial airline pilot. She says that a significant amount of fuel is spent on takeoff. To save fuel, why couldn't we launch airplanes using catapult systems like on aircraft carriers (calibrated to normal human accelerations)? Could significant amounts of fossil fuels be saved if the catapults could be run by some other clean energy? I'm imagining a rope ... one end tied to the airplane, the other tied to a large boulder at the edge of a cliff. Just push the boulder off the cliff!"''
<div align="right">—Brady Barkey</div>
|It's not a completely ridiculous idea, but the most practical issue is that you'd have to extend the roughly mile-long runway several times more to take full advantage of it. Using the proposed rope-and-cliff system, you'd need to use a thousand ton weight dropped at the height of a super tall skyscraper - of course, if you used something heavier, like the 80,000-ton Washington Monument, you wouldn't need to drop it as far.
|
|{{book|2|18}}
|
|-
|rowspan="14"|
|rowspan="14"|'''Short Answers #2'''
|''"Billy the Clown is running out of cash, so in order to raise money, he devises his newest trick: He will inflate, by mouth, a standard-size party balloon until the material (some form of indestructible rubber) is just one atom thick. How large would the inflated party balloon be?"''
<div align="right">—Alan Fong</div>
|It's a total mystery why Billy is running out of cash.
|rowspan="14"|
|rowspan="14"{{book|2|18.5}} (S2)
|rowspan="14"|
|-
|''"How many leaf blowers would it take to move a standard SUV"''
<div align="right">—Ashley H.</div>
|Somewhere around 1-2 dozen leaf blowers would do the trick. However, it would be very impractical, consume a lot of fuel, and the acceleration would be very slow. Many more leaf blowers would be needed to accelerate the car at a reasonable rate.
|-
|''"If you put a vacuum at extremely high suction and aimed it at a normal BMW sedan, what would happen?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|Nothing. Cars, even small ones like sedans, are far too large and heavy to be affected by a vacuum, even a very large and powerful one.
|-
|''"On a warm summer evening, when you sit outside with a light on, you can be sure that bugs will be attracted to the light. Then why is it that these same bugs don't fly toward the biggest and strongest lamp of them all, namely the Sun, during the day?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|Those who did would die and not be able to produce offspring with the same traits.
|-
|''"If you collected all of the guns in the world and put them on one side of the Earth, then shot the all simultaneously, would it move the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Nathan</div>
|It would not move the Earth, but it would make the other side a nicer place to live.
|-
|''"What would happen if you microwaved a small microwave, while the smaller one was on as well?"''
<div align="right">—Micheal</div>
|Randall gave the meme answer of 'You would no longer be welcome in that IKEA.' In reality, this would almost certainly lead to some dire consequences. Microwaves contain sensitive electronics which would be damaged from excess heat{{cn}}, leaving the microwave functionally useless. Most microwaves are also made of metal, which is known for exploding when exposed to microwaves. This is the same principle that causes forks to explode when placed in one.
|-
|''"If you're jumping on a trampoline, how fast would your body have to be going to:<br>'''A.''' Break all bones on impact<br>'''B.''' Make your body go though the tiny holes of the mesh."''
<div align="right">—Micah Lane</div>
|<ol style="list-style-type: upper-alpha">
<li>Breaking all of the bones in your body would be hard because a lot of them are very small, but it would be fast enough that the trampoline wouldn't make much of a difference.</li>
<li>This can't happen, no matter how fast you're going.</li>
</ol>
|-
|''"I have a Nothing Grenade™. When detonated, it instantly replaces itself with a sphere of perfect vacuum 2 meters across. What would actually happen when it went off?"''
<div align="right">—Dave H.</div>
|As the two-meter vacuum circle appeared, the surrounding air would rapidly fill in the sudden gap. Almost instantaneously, the air would collide and expand out with enough force to possibly kill a human and damage small structures such as bookshelves or walls. In other words, you basically have a regular grenade.
|-
|''"Is space hot or cold?"''
<div align="right">—Isaac</div>
|The answer to this is complicated. Temperature is a measurement of the speed of particles. In space, having no air resistance, particles move incredibly fast. However, because it's a vacuum, there are almost no particles. This is a similar principle to the reason you don't get burned when welding sparks touch your skin. They're so small they do basically nothing to you. As there are almost no particles to impact you, space is the hottest place you can freeze to death.
|-
|''"How many bones can you remove from the human body while allowing the human to continue living? Asking for a friend."''
<div align="right">—Chris Rakeman</div>
|That person is not your friend.
|-
|''"What would happen if you put a human under a g-force of 417 Gs for twenty seconds?"''
<div align="right">—Nythill</div>
|The human is guaranteed to die. Scientific tests have shown that, despite the human body's ability to withstand g-forces into the hundreds for very short periods of time (a car crash may exceed 100 Gs of force), going over 18 Gs for a long period of time is likely to cause the human to black out and quickly die, as the force would prevent blood from being able to flow through a human body properly. This is the same reason why bugs are unable to move after hitting a car on the highway, even if they survive.
|-
|''"Where or how can one commit a murder and not be prosecuted for it?"''
<div align="right">—Kunai Dhawan</div>
|Theoretically, in a section of Yellowstone National Park, where {{w|Zone of Death (Yellowstone)|a jury would have to be formed from a non-existent population}}. In practice, you'd definitely still be prosecuted for committing a murder there.
|-
|''"I read today that insects make at least $57 billion a year for the US economy. If we were to pay every single insect in the United States equally for their economic contribution, how much would each insect get?"''
<div align="right">—Hannah McDonald</div>
|Each insect would get $0.0000029.
Broken down:
*$18 billion to flies, including mosquitoes
*$16 billion to bees, wasps, and ants
*$10 billion to beetles
*$7 billion to thrips
*$1 billion to butterflies and moths
*$1 billion to true bugs
*$4 billion to all other insects
|-
|''"What, in today's world and yesterday's world, does it mean to be human, in all social and biological factors?"''
<div align="right">—Seth Carrol</div>
|You meant to submit this to ''Why If?: Deeply Ungrammatical Answers to Unanswerable Philosophical Questions''.
|-
|
|'''Slow Dinosaur Apocalypse'''
|''"What if an object like the Chicxulub impactor hit earth with a relatively low relative speed of (let's say) 3 mph"''
<div align="right">—Beni von Alemann</div>
|Even though the meteor is slow, it's still very big. The impactor would not create a crater, but would instead create a weird effect which makes the rock flow like water, creating a large "space dirt pancake" about the same diameter as the Chicxulub impact Crater. If {{w|Jurassic Park}} were a real place, it could certainly cause a dinosaur extinction over there, if dropped on it.
|
|{{book|2|19}}
|
|-
|
|'''Elemental Worlds'''
|''"What if Mercury (the planet) were entirely made of mercury (the element)? What if Ceres was made of cerium? Uranus made of uranium? Neptune made of neptunium? What about Pluto made of plutonium?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|Earth would (mostly) be fine. Mercury, uranium, neptunium, plutonium, and cerium would all replace the old planets. Changes are as follows:
*Pluto would be visible to the naked eye
*Ceres would be visible to the naked eye
*Mercury would be visible to the naked eye
*Uranus would look a fairly bight star in the night sky
*''When Neptune hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's an x-ray..''
|
|{{book|2|20}}
| 
|-
|
|'''Tire Rubber'''
|''"Rubber tires on millions of cars and trucks start with about ½" tread and end up bald. Rubber should be everywhere, or at least our highways should be made thicker. Where's the rubber?"''
<div align="right">—Fred</div>
|An average tire sheds about 1.6 liters of rubber over the course of its lifetime (from new to bald). If all tire rubber stuck to the road, it would rise by about a third of a millimeter per year. However, most tire rubber shavings are small enough to drift through the air, or for rain and wind to wash them off the road. Tire rubber is more than enough to cause environmental disruption and it's one of the leading causes of microplastics in our oceans.
|
|{{book|2|25}}
|
|-
|rowspan="10"|
|rowspan="10"|'''Short Answers #3'''
|''"How long do you think two people would have to kiss continuously before they had no lips left?"''
<div align="right">—Asli</div>
|That's not how lips work
|rowspan="10"|
|rowspan="10"{{book|2|26.5}} (S3)
|rowspan="10"|
|-
|''"My college friend and I have had this debate for years now: If you put a million hungry ants in a glass cube with one human, who's more likely to walk out alive?"''
<div align="right">—Eric Bowman</div>
|The human would try to break out of the cube, and probably succeed. Although disgusted, the human would probably be fine. Ants generally do not eat meat, preferring leaves and other foliage. If they escaped, both the human and the ants would go after the person who put them in the glass box. If they did not escape, both the human and the ants would eventually die of suffocation, assuming no air holes were installed.
|-
|''"What if all of humanity set all of their differences aside and work together to level out the Earth into a perfect sphere?"''
<div align="right">—Erik Andersen</div>
|This would quickly create new differences. Even if some magical force were employed to keep humanity centered on making the earth a perfect sphere, it would take many years and be almost impossible to do. Because the Earth is an oblate spheroid, and not a sphere as-is, a lot of land would need to be displaced in order to create a perfect sphere. There would need to be somewhere to put all the water in the oceans, which would need to be removed, and a way to move large amounts of land very long distances. Many cities would be buried, such as Amsterdam (average elevation -6.6').
|-
|''"People talk a lot about a space elevator or a building that would reach into low orbit to save time and resources getting things into space. This is going to sound incredibly stupid, but why has no one proposed building a road into space? Since orbit is generally considered to be 62 miles out, would it be possible to build a 62-mile-high mountain somewhere in the United States? Colorado would be my suggestion, since it has a low population density and is about a mile above sea level already."''
<div align="right">—Brian</div>
|Where are you going to get the materials to build the mountain? Also, Colorado has a lot of people in it.
|-
|''"If I shot a rocket and a bullet through Jupiter's center, would they come out the other side?"''
<div align="right">—James Wilson</div>
|No, as the leading theory is that Jupiter has a solid core. Shooting a bullet through the center would simply cause the bullet to collide with the core of the planet.
|-
|''"What if Mount Everest magically turned into pure lava? What would happen to life; would we all die?"''
<div align="right">—Ian</div>
|We would mostly be okay.
|-
|''"Can you fall down into the Mariana Trench, or would you just swim over it?"''
<div align="right">—Rodolfo Estrella</div>
|You can do both of those things. Assuming what he was trying to say was "Can you swim over the Marianas Trench without falling into it?" the answer is that you would just swim directly over it.
|-
|''"I play Dungeons & Dragons, and my DM doesn't want to let us use the Gust of Wind spell to push wind into the sails of a ship and make it move. Her argument is that you can't use this spell to move a ship because someone on a sailboat can't aim a fan at the sail to propel the boat. We argue that since the spell doesn't push you backward when you use it, then we should be able to use it to make the ship sail. She says she'll allow it only if you say so."''
<div align="right">—Georgia Paterson and Allison Adams</div>
|Since the spell doesn't push you backwards, it should work. If the spell pushed you backwards, you would just have to aim the spell backwards.
|-
|''"What if I struck a match on Titan? Would it light if there's no oxygen?"''
<div align="right">—Ethan Fitzgibbon</div>
| While the match would light initially due to the small amount of oxidizer in a matchhead (typically {{w|potassium chlorate}}, in a safety match), it would quickly dissipate due to the lack of oxygen to titan's atmosphere.
|-
|''"I posted a question on social media asking what would be the smallest change that would create the biggest disaster. One of the responses I got said "if every atom gained 1 proton." So my question for you is, what would happen if every atom gained 1 proton?"''
<div align="right">—Olivia Caputo</div>
|The Earth would become one big, very explosive science experiment. Stable atoms would become unstable, releasing large amounts of energy all at once. Brain matter would cease to be brain matter, and cells would no longer be cells. This would lead to everything dying at once. At least we wouldn't need to experience it.
|-
|
|'''Suction Aquarium'''
|''"When I was a child, I discovered that if I took a container into the swimming pool, I could fill it with water and then bring the container (open-end down) to the surface of the water, and the water level in my container was higher than the water level in the pool. What would happen if you tried to do this with a giant container and the ocean? Could you create a giant aquarium on top of the water that the animals could swim in and out of freely? Maybe an irregularly shaped container that you would walk around on to get closer to the fish?"''
<div align="right">—Caroline Collett</div>
|It would work, but the water level would slowly lower back to sea level over time. However, this process can be accelerated by whale farts. I am not joking.
|
|{{book|2|27}}
|
|-
|
|'''Earth Eye'''
|''"If the Earth were a massive eye, how far would it see?"''
<div align="right">—Alasdir</div>
|Its 'resolution' would be over 500 million times better than a normal human eye. It would be able to see the color of a shirt worn on Mars. It could also see incredibly far objects, such as some of the most distant galaxies that haven't been {{w|redshift}}ed to the point of being infrared. However, a planet-sized eye would be inconvenient, as it would certainly go blind from the Sun and could be damaged from nearby stars as well.
|
|{{book|2|28}}
|
|-
|
|'''Build Rome in a Day'''
|''"How many people would it take to build Rome in a day?"''
<div align="right">—Lauren</div>
| It would take anywhere between 15 minutes and 150 minutes with the whole Earth working.
|
|{{book|2|29}}
|
|-
|
|'''Mariana Trench Tube'''
|''"If I put an indestructible 20-meter-wide glass tube in the ocean that goes all the way down to the deepest part of the ocean, what would it be like to stand at the bottom? Assuming the sun goes directly overhead."''
<div align="right">—Zoki Čulo</div>
|You would likely see many new and undiscovered species. You would also be incredibly cold as the freezing waters of the deep would cool the glass. Getting up would be another problem entirely. If you didn't use an elevator, you could break the glass. That would create a geyser, accelerating you upwards at lethal G-forces. Once you reach the surface, you would fly high into the air before crashing back down into the ocean. Also, you would be heralded as a hero by a lot of marine biologists.
|
|{{book|2|30}}
|
|-
|
|'''MRI Compass'''
|''"Why don't compasses point toward the nearest hospital because of the magnetic fields created by MRI machines?"''
<div align="right">—D. Hughes</div>
|They actually do, but only within ~10 meters.
|
|{{book|2|32}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ancestor Fraction'''
|''"I noticed recently that the number of people within a family tree increases exponentially with each generation: I have 2 parents, 4 grandparents, 8 great-grandparents, and so on. Which got me thinking—are most people descended from the majority of Homo sapiens who have ever lived? If not, what fraction of all the people that have ever lived am I descended from?"''
<div align="right">—Seamus</div>
|Likely between 2-3 twenty-fourths of all humans who have ever lived.
|
|{{book|2|33}}
|
|-
|
|'''Bird Car'''
|''"I'm a lowly college student stuck in a car without AC. As such, the windows are down most of the time when I'm driving, and I started thinking: If a bird happens to match my speed and direction perfectly, and I swerve to catch the bird in my car ... what happens next, other than an angry bird? Does the bird stay right where it was? Fly into the windshield? Drop into the seat? My roommate and I disagree. Any help settling this would really make all our lives easier."''
<div align="right">—Hunter W.</div>
| The bird would fall onto the seat at an angle, and then would fly out of the window (hopefully).
|
|{{book|2|34}}
|
|-
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"|'''Weird & Worrying #2'''
|colspan="2"|''"What would happen if you put the end of a vacuum hose up to your eye and turned on the vacuum?"''
<div align="right">—Kitty Greer</div>
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"{{book|2|35.5}} (W2)
|rowspan="4"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"Is it possible to hold your arm straight out of a car window and punch a mailbox clean off its pole? Could you do it without breaking your hand?"''
<div align="right">—Ty Gwennap</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If people's teeth kept growing, but when they were fully grown they come off and are swallowed, how long would it take before it causes any problems?"''
<div align="right">—Valen M.</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"In a defensive situation, how much epinephrine (in a EpiPen) would it take to subdue a possible attacker?"''
<div align="right">—Henry M.</div>
|-
|
|'''Vacuum Tube Smartphone'''
|''"What if my phone was based on vacuum tubes? How big would it be?"''
<div align="right">—Johnny</div>
| The phone would be about the size of one to five city blocks, and would melt its way through the Earth's crust. Conversely, the UNIVAC constructed with modern electrical components would be smaller than a grain of salt.
|
|{{book|2|36}}
|
|-
|
|'''Eat a Cloud'''
|''"Could a person eat a whole cloud?"''
<div align="right">—Tak</div>
|Not unless you can squeeze the air out first. If you don't you will burp out more cloud than you ate.
|
|{{book|2|38}}
|
|-
|
|'''Tall Sunsets'''
|''"Let's say that two people of different heights (159 cm and 206 cm) stand beside each other while looking at the sunset. How much longer will the taller person be able to see the sun than the shorter one?"''
<div align="right">—Rasmus Bunde Nielson</div>
|Over a second longer.
|
|{{book|2|39}}
|
|-
|
|'''Sisyphean Refrigerators'''
|''"Suppose everyone with a fridge or a freezer opened them at the same time, outdoors. Would that amount of cooling be able to noticeably change the temperature? If not, how many fridges would it take to lower the temperature, say, 5 degrees F? What about even lower?"''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Mittica</div>
|Refrigerators don't work like that, and would likely increase global temperatures by 0.3 degrees celsius. The infinite spite of Hades is surprisingly green.
|
|{{book|2|41}}
|
|-
|
|'''Basketball Earth'''
|''"You know how when you spin a basketball on your finger you hit the side to make it go faster and balance it? If a meteor passes close enough to the earth, can it make the Earth spin faster like your hand does the basketball?"''
<div align="right">—Zayne Freshley</div>
|Yes.
|
|{{book|2|43}}
|
|- 
|
|'''Inhale a Person'''
|''"If house dust comprises up to 80 percent dead skin, how many people worth of skin does a person consume/inhale in a lifetime?"''
<div align="right">—Greg</div>
|You could inhale at most 3 gallons of human skin in a lifetime, and dust is not mostly dead skin. Instead it is a cursed salad of soil, pollen, cotton fibers, crumbs, powdered sugar, glitter, pet hair and dander, plastic, soot, human or animal hair, flour, glass, smoke, mites, and various miscellaneous gunk.
|
|{{book|2|45}}
|
|-
|
|'''Candy Crush Lightning'''
|''"How many Wint-O-Green Life Savers would it take to create a life-size lightning bolt if you crushed them"''
<div align="right">—Violet M.</div>
|Billions
|
|{{book|2|46}}
|
|-
|rowspan="13"|
|rowspan="13"|'''Short Answers #4'''
|''"Can humans safely eat rabid creatures?"''
<div align="right">—Winston</div>
|No.
|rowspan="13"|
|rowspan="13"{{book|2|46.5}} (S4)
|rowspan="13"|
|-
|''"What if the Earth's core suddenly stopped producing heat?"''
<div align="right">—Laura</div>
|We would be mostly fine. While one may picture a scenario similar to ''The Core'', the difference would only be noticed long after you're gone, so you don't really need to worry about it :)
|-
|''"Could humanity, with our current technology, destroy the Moon?"''
<div align="right">—Tyler</div>
|No.
|-
|''"Can global warming cause the Earth's magnetic fields to weaken?"''
<div align="right">—Pavaki</div>
|No.
|-
|''"If you used a laser, would you be able to bake something?"''
<div align="right">—Andrew Liu</div>
|Yes.
|-
|''"What if Earth was sliced in half, like an apple? Where should you be such that you have the best chance of survival?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|You should be holding the object that's slicing the Earth.
|-
|''"What would happen if a person dropped into a pool full of jellyfish?"''
<div align="right">—Lorenzo Belotti</div>
|It depends on the species.
|-
|''"Would it be possible to make a house floor into a massive air hockey table, so you could move heavy furniture across the room?"''
<div align="right">—Jacob Wood</div>
|Yes, and now I know what my next home improvement project will be.
|-
|''"My 7-year-old son asked us over dinner recently at which point potatoes melt (I assume in a vacuum). Please advise."''
<div align="right">—Steffen</div>
|Potatoes don't really melt at any temperature. Also, do you automatically add 'in a vacuum' to anything your son says?
|-
|''"Would a pigeon be able to make it to space if it was not affected by gravity?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Evans</div>
|No. The air in the upper atmosphere is too thin to breathe and too cold
|-
|''"If you were flying blind through the Milky Way what would be the odds of hitting a star or planet?"''
<div align="right">—David</div>
|If you flew edge-on, it would be about 1 in 10 billion.
|-
|''"On various bodies in our Solar System (feel free to group any that are equivalent), roughly how long could you survive on the surface (for gas giants, assume you are on a magical platform at some point in the atmosphere that you could reasonably treat as the surface) with nothing but an infinite air supply and warm winter clothing? That is, no helmet, no pressure suit, just a nose-and-mouth air mask attached to a magic air generator, and clothing that would be suitable for, say, Chicago in winter. (No cute tricks like using the magic air supply to generate heat or whatever.)"''
<div align="right">—Melissa Trible</div>
|
*Earth: 100-ish years
*Venus: Weeks to months
*Everywhere else: Minutes to hours
Venus would be great if it weren't for the sulfuric acid.
|-
|''"What would happen if someone dropped an anvil on you from space?"''
<div align="right">—Sam Stiehl</div>
|About the same as if someone dropped an anvil on you from a building.
|-
|
|'''Toasty Warm'''
|''"What if I want to heat my house using toasters. How many do I need?"''
<div align="right">—Peter Ahlström</div>
|Not many, because the house would quickly catch on fire.
|
|{{book|2|47}}
|
|-
|
|'''Eyeball'''
|''"If I pulled out my eyeball and aimed it so that it was looking into my other eyeball, what would I see (assuming the nerves and veins remain undamaged)"''
<div align="right">—Lenka</div>
|You would see an eye superimposed with your head and the background of the room overlapping.
|
|{{book|2|49}}
|
|-
|
|'''Japan Runs an Errand'''
|''"If ALL of Japan's islands disappear, would it affect Earth's natural phenomena (plates, oceans, hurricanes, climate, and so on)?"''
<div align="right">—Miyu Uchida</div>
|Yes, it most certainly would. The sea of Japan would mix with the Pacific ocean now that the wall that separated them is gone. This would cause unpredictable changes to those currents, affecting many life forms who live in that area. Japan, though being small, weighs quite a lot, and the sudden removal of all that weight would cause massive shifts in ocean levels. Depending on the region, some sea levels would rise/fall by up to a foot, causing mass panic for cities that now have a sudden risk of flooding at a moment's notice. Tsunamis would devastate the Korean Peninsula, Hawaii, and the west coast of America.
|
|{{book|2|50}}
|
|-
|
|'''Read All the Laws'''
|''"If a person wanted to read all of the governing documents that apply to them—from the federal and state constitutions, treaties, agency-issued regulations, federal and state laws, local ordinances, etc.—how many pages would they have to read?"''
<div align="right">—Keith Yearman</div>
|Between 145000 and 12.3 million pages.
|
|{{book|2|52}}
|
|-
|rowspan="3"|
|rowspan="3"|'''Weird & Worrying #3'''
|colspan="2"|''"If I were to jump into a container of liquid nitrogen (or dispose of a body that way), how deep would it have to be for me/them to shatter into frozen pieces at the bottom?"''
<div align="right">—Stella Wohnig</div>
|rowspan="3"|
|rowspan="3"{{book|2|52.5}} (W3)
|rowspan="3"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"What would happen to you if a colony of ants suddenly appeared in you bloodstream all at once?"''
<div align="right">—Matt, on behalf of Declan</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If Harry Potter forgets where the invisible entrance to Platform 9¾ is, how long would he have to crash into walls randomly before discovering it?"''
<div align="right">—Max Planker</div>
|-
|
|'''Snowball'''
|''"What if I tried to roll a snowball from the top of Mount Everest? How big would the snowball be by the time it reached the bottom and how long would it take?"''
<div align="right">—Michaeline Yates</div>
|It would remain about the same size, or it could cause an avalanche. Since the peak of {{w|Mount Everest}} is above the clouds, it is very dry there. For a snowball to grow, wet snow is required. The result would be similar to rolling a hamburger down.
|
|{{book|2|54}}
|
|-
|
|'''Walking Backward in Time'''
|''"What if you decided to walk from Austin, Texas, to New York City, but every step takes you back thirty days?"''
<div align="right">—Jojo Yawson</div>
| The sky would flicker at 50 Hz, and you would arrive around 300,000 years in the past.
|
|{{book|2|56}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ammonia Tube'''
|''"What would happen if you fed ammonia into your stomach through a tube? How fast must the flow rate be to burn your stomach from the heat released? What would the newly created chlorine gas do to your stomach?"''
<div align="right">—Becca</div>
|{{w|Ammonia}} is an {{w|EPA list of extremely hazardous substances|extremely hazardous substance}} and pumping it into your abdomen would result in a painful death due to ammonia toxicity. However, at the very least, some of it would be neutralized with your stomach acid.
|
|{{book|2|57}}
|
|-
|rowspan="7"|
|rowspan="7"|'''Short Answers #5'''
|''"Could life evolve in a constantly running microwave?"''
<div align="right">—Abby Doth</div>
|No.
|rowspan="7"|
|rowspan="7"{{book|2|58.5}} (S5)
|rowspan="7"|
|-
|''"Tonight at my work as an ER nurse in the emergency room, a patient (high on methamphetamine) asked for a cup of water. I returned with a paper cup of water, which the patient promptly threw at my head, missing me but hitting the wall in such an improbable way that the open top of the cup impacted the wall and the cup contained/diminished most of the subsequent splatter. It occurred to me that it might be possible to throw a cup of water hard enough that the container of water would go through the wall. Is this possible?"''
<div align="right">—Pete</div>
|Anything will go through a wall if you throw it hard enough
|-
|''"How slow would you have to chew in order to be able to infinitely consume breadsticks?"''
<div align="right">—Miller Broughton</div>
|You would have to divide each breadstick into 20 bites, chewing each bite 200 times at 1 chew per second.
|-
|''"If you were somehow to remove the white and yolk from inside an eggshell (chicken), and replace them with helium, would the eggshell float in the air?"''
<div align="right">—Elizabeth</div>
|No. An eggshell weighs more than the air it displaces.
|-
|''"What would stars smell like, if it were possible to smell them?"''
<div align="right">—Finn Ellis</div>
|Due to the free hydrogen molecules floating around in there, it would taste incredibly sour. It would also smell like burning rubber, as stars are made up of the same components.
|-
|''"What is the average size for every man-made object on the planet?"''
<div align="right">—Max Carver</div>
|Not too big, not too small. About average.
|-
|''"E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E"''
<div align="right">—Nate Yu</div>
|I feel you, Nate.
|-
|
|'''Dog Overload'''
|''"Assuming 1 out of every 4 people has a 5-year-old dog, and the dog reproduces once every year, with 5 puppies, and the puppies start reproducing at 5 and stop at 15 and die at 20, how long would it take for the Earth to be flooded with puppies, assuming we have all the food, water, and oxygen to sustain them?"''
<div align="right">—Griffin</div>
|This is unrealistic right from the start. This assumes the total dog population is 2 billion, which is well above current estimates. A timeline of major events and milestones is listed below.
*After one year, there are enough dogs for everyone to have at least one.
*After 5 years, every human has an average of 6 or 7 dogs.
*After 11 years, Disney releases ''101 Dalmations per Capita'', after there are 101 dogs per person
*After 15 years, the first dogs die, but the death is fully insignificant.
*After 20 years, dogs would only be about 1 meter apart on average.
*After 25-30 years, the dogs begin to stack.
*At about 40 years, the exponential growth is "stable". The population is multiplying by about 1.6578 each year.
*After 65 years, the population of dogs reaches 1 mol
*After 110 years, the dogs start to undergo relativistic collapse
*After 150 years, the dogs are bigger than the solar system.
*After 197 years, the expansion of the dog sphere surpasses 1''c''
*After 200 years, the dogs reach sirius.
*After 250 years, the dogs envelop the milky way.
*After 330 years, the dogs reach the edge of the observable universe.
*After 417 years, Disney releases ''10<sup>101</sup> Dalmations.''
|
|{{book|2|60}}
|
|-
|
|'''Sunscreen'''
|''"Assuming that SPF works as it purports, what SPF would you need for a 1-hour trip to the surface of the sun?"''
<div align="right">—Brian and Max Parker</div>
|You would need SPF 3,200,000 or a giant blob of sunscreen. Despite its name, sunscreen only protects against some types of radiation from the Sun. No amount is going to be adequate protection if you are right inside the Sun. Also, sunscreen, being a gel, would evaporate when exposed to vacuum. When exposed to the plasma of the coronal surface or the Sun's interior, it would quickly ionize along with anything inside it, becoming plasma like the rest of the Sun.
|
|{{book|2|62}}
|
|-
|
|'''Walking on the Sun'''
|''"After the Sun runs out of fuel, it will become a white dwarf and slowly cool. When will it be cool enough to touch?"''
<div align="right">—Jabari Garland</div>
|The Sun will cool to room temperature in about 20 billion years. However, getting there to actually touch it is the hard part. The immense gravity the post-sun star would have would create a major problem for any attempt to land on and touch it. Even the most powerful propoulstion would not be able to escape the pull of the sun's gravity, making it nigh impossible to reach the Sun and survive, let alone touch it yourself.
|
|{{book|2|63}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lemon Drops and Gumdrops'''
|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
<div align="right">—Shuo Peskoe-Yang</div>
|Replacing all rain in the world would have devastating conseqeunces, especially with such dry candies as lemon drops and gumdrops. The water cycle would be destroyed, arable land would become unusable, and the ocean the would dry up. Humanity would perish in this wasteland-like scenario, probably hopped up on sugar.
|
|{{book|2|64}}
|
|-
|
|'''Bonus Chapter'''
|''"...but what if we tried even ''more'' power?"''
<div align="right">—Randall Munroe</div>
| This is a continuation of {{what if|13|13: Laser Pointer}}. Adding even more power than the end of that article would heat the air so much that the lasers would stop themselves long before reaching the Moon. Even if we managed to get them to hit the Moon, the plasma created would be so hot that it would stop anyway.
|
|{{book|3|70}}
|{{book|19|2024|12|03|jgafb8G7i4o|But what if we tried MORE power?}}
|-
|}<noinclude>

<span id="Editors"><big><big>'''Editors'''</big></big></span> ㅤ ''[[#Article index|(jump back to table)]]''

These templates are used in this table: {{tl|what if}}, {{tl|What If}}, {{tl|book}}, {{tl|blog}}.

<big>'''Add YouTube video'''</big>

<nowiki>{{book|YT-NUMBER|YYYY|MM|DD|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''<nowiki>HTTPS://LINK</nowiki>'''''</font>|VIDEO-TITLE}}
'''EXAMPLE:''' <nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''2022'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''12'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''31'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyNhb5Y'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''What if everyone pointed a laser at the moon?'''''</font>}}

<big>'''Add book chapter'''</big>

For the first [[What If? (book)|What If? book]]:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''1'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}

For the second [[What If? 2]] book:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}

'''EXAMPLE:'''<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''69'''''</font>}}

If an article is available exclusively on the third book ([[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition]]) and not in the first two, use this:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''3'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}
<big>'''Link to a ''what if?'' article'''</big>

On this wiki, an easy way to link to a given ''what if?'' article is by using the {{Template|what if}} template. Copy and paste the text below, correcting the number and title (highlighted in green) to get this result:

'''EXAMPLE:'''
See the <nowiki>''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen"><ins>'''''158'''''</ins></font>|<font color="SeaGreen"><ins>'''''Hot Banana'''''</ins></font>}}<nowiki>''</nowiki>.
'''RESULTS IN:'''
See the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|158|Hot Banana}}''.

NOTE: Since the blog releases are now random, please write a comment on [[{{LATESTCOMIC}}#Discussion|the newest comic's talk page]] to announce that a new ''what if?'' article is out.

<big>'''Add name of reader who asked the question.'''</big>

Here's how to add the name(s) to any question on the table. For example, this...
<nowiki>|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.</nowiki>
... becomes this:
<nowiki>|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
<div align="right"></nowiki>'''—'''<font color="SeaGreen">'''''InsertNamesHere'''''</font><nowiki></div>
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.</nowiki>
Copy the code and replace the green part! (NOTE: It uses the em-dash, not a normal hyphen, so don't replace the dash, or use <code>&mdash;</code>.) Transcribe it exactly as it is written on the website or book, including parenthesis and age, if given by Randall. '''Protip for desktop users:''' the text looks ALL CAPS on the site, but if you copy and paste it, it's in normal Sentence Case. You can simply copy and paste.

''[[#Article index|(jump back to table)]]''
<span id="bottom"></span>
{| style="border: 1px solid {{{border|gray}}}; background-color: {{{color|#fdffe7}}};"
|rowspan="2" style="vertical-align:middle;" | {{{{{|safesubst:}}}#ifeq:{{{2}}}|alt|[[File:What If Barnstar.jpeg|100px]]|[[File:What If Barnstar.jpeg|100px]]}}
|rowspan="2" |
|style="font-size: x-large; padding: 0; vertical-align: middle; height: 1.1em;" | '''The What If? Project Barnstar'''
|-
|style="vertical-align: middle; border-top: 1px solid gray;" | <div style="font-family: Cormorant Garamond"><span style="font-size:5pt;color:black">

* <span style="background-color:#9eff9e;"><span style="color:green; font-size:1.4em;">''' ✓'''</span><big> '''Added: '''</big></span> All ~140 book-exclusive articles, each color-coded by book; reader question and Randall's answer for almost all ~70 [[What If? 2]]-exclusive articles; EVERY YouTube video and its associated article; over new 130 thumbnails uploaded; new article from [[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition|the new book]] and the [[what if? (blog)#top|deleted article]].

* <span style="background-color:#9eff9e;"><span style="color:green; font-size:1.4em;">''' ✓'''</span><big> '''Changes: '''</big></span> Merged columns No., Release date, and Weeks since last release; every column now easily sortable; columns Blog, Book (new), and YouTube (new) now use {{template|blog}} and {{template|book}} and are color-coded; split ''Short-Answer Sections'' into different cells; title bold and question italics and quoted!

----

Great Job to everyone who helped out on this project! If you helped out explain the articles or build the table, feel free to sign here: '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:9pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:6pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 17:44, 14 February 2025 (UTC), [[User:WriterArtistCoder|WriterArtistCoder]]<sup>[[User talk:WriterArtistCoder|talk to me]]</sup> 21:56, 11 March 2025 (UTC), [[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 15:53, 12 March 2025 (UTC) --'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al |<span style="font-family:Atomic Age;font-size:12pt;color:red;">DollarStoreBa'al</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:DollarStoreBa'al |'''''Converse''''']]</sup>[[DSBContribs |'''''My life choices''''']] 23:30, 14 June 2025 (UTC)

[[Category:What If?| 9]]{{xkcdmeta}}

78: Garfield

2025-10-07T14:46:11Z

Black Hat's Hat: adjusted some descriptions of the panels. idk if this is helpful, im learning how to edit. feel free to revert or whatever

{{comic
| number = 78
| date = March 20, 2006
| title = Garfield
| image = garfield.jpg
| titletext = The use of the 'Garfield' character for the purposes of this parody qualifies as fair use under the Copyright Act of 1976, 17 U.S.C. sec. 107. See Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music (92-1292), 510 U.S. 569
}}

==Explanation==
The newspaper comic strip {{w|Garfield}}, which features an orange cat as the main character, has increasingly been known for repetitive, quality-lacking strips. In the past, this was because the creator, {{w|Jim Davis (cartoonist)|Jim Davis}}, prefers to explore the same subjects he is comfortable with but in different ways — or from a less charitable view, because the strip is intended for a wide audience and thus becomes homogenized and inoffensive by nature. This attitude has only become more pronounced in the 21st century, as the aging Davis becomes less and less interested in the franchise. Regardless of the reason, these strips are now {{w|Ghostwriter|ghost written}} with little input from Davis and rarely explore the unconventional. The comic is challenging Davis to do something unexpected and surprise us all. The comic also accuses Davis of being a "sellout", sticking to bourgeois/commercial logic, something that Dadaist artists challenged.

{{w|Dadaism}} was an artistic movement in the early 20th century marked primarily by chaos, irrationality, and surrealism. Some of the artists believed that the bourgeois logic made human beings unhappy and therefore led to war. [[Randall Munroe|Randall]] leads by example by featuring a strip that parodies the style of Garfield, with multiple colors (xkcd usually contains only black and white, with some few containing an additional color like red or yellow) and a character that is not a stick figure breaking the normal xkcd pattern. Another Dadaist aspect is the fact that while Garfield is smiling, he is communicating something that could be considered terrifying.

The title text explains that xkcd is exercising legal use of Davis's intellectual property, namely the title character of his comic. The Supreme Court case mentioned, ''{{w|Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music}}'', confirmed that parody is legal even when there is commercial gain as a result, and also referenced the {{w|Copyright Act of 1976}}, 17 U.S.C. § 107, for the same reason. While this is normally understood by most anyone who questions such matters, Randall includes it as a reference to the lessening of strict copyright law, which many comics also mention, usually in the context of {{w|free software}} and those who promote it, like in the comics featuring [[Richard Stallman]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Need to describe the colours and the style better for people who aren't familiar with the newspaper style.
:An {{diff|384703|edit to this Transcript}} was reverted, as rather more like another Explanation ''and'' badly wikiformatted. Possibly ''some'' of might be useful here, but someone would need to check thoroughly.}}
:[This strip takes the form of a parody of the traditional shape for Sunday installments of newspaper strips; specifically the half-page format.]
:[All panels with just text are a lighter blue, while ones containing Garfield are a darker blue.]
:[I want to see something unexpected in comics. Just one strip could make up for it all.
:[Garfield is standing on hind legs facing and looking directly at the camera. But is off-center in the frame, about 1/3 from the left, rotated very slightly clockwise.]
:[Zoom in on Garfield, still to the left, now rotated slightly counterclockwise.]
:[Zoom in again on Garfield, now the frame clips off the left side of his face.]
:Garfield thought bubble: The world is burning.
:[Final zoom in, the frame is ripped like a page, offset, and Garfield's eyes are half closed on the right half.]
:Garfield thought bubble: Run.
:Caption below the comic: Jim Davis, throw off your commercial shackles. Challenge us. Go out in a blaze of Dadaist glory. There is still time.

==Trivia==
*This is the first comic to use all-caps lettering, the second being [[90: Jacket]]. The all-caps lettering in this strip is likely due to the fact that most newspaper strips, such as Garfield, use all-caps lettering to make it easier to distinguish letters under poor printing quality quite possible with newsprint.

*The comic number (78) corresponds to the year Garfield debuted (1978).

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

3151: Window Screen

2025-10-07T13:50:16Z

Black Hat's Hat: Removed the lines about the oversized comic in the explanation, slightly added to trivia. First edit!

{{comic
| number = 3151
| date = October 6, 2025
| title = Window Screen (UI)
| image = window_screen_2x.png
| imagesize = 1480x598px
| noexpand = false
| titletext = The Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine or Home Improvement or DIY
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by user interface. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
[[Cueball]] believes he should receive a {{w|Nobel Prize}} for creating a custom screen for a particularly troublesome window, due to what he considers to be the immense amount of work and consideration that went into it. He is writing to the {{w|Nobel Foundation}} to nominate himself. (The Foundation does not currently accept self-nominations, or nominations from random individuals.)

A {{w|window screen}} is most often used to block insects, other small animals, and debris from passing through an open window, while allowing air and light. One can also make a mesh that attaches to the outside of the glass to display an outward-facing image or limit incoming light. Most windows are flat and rectangular, and pre-made meshes for these can be measured and cut with basic tools. Some windows have complex shapes. It can be very difficult to design a screen that neatly matches a complex glass surface.

An {{w|Angle#Types_of_angles|oblique angle}} is any angle that is not a multiple of 90 degrees (not a right or straight angle). While right angles allow for intuitive mapping of sides to an X-Y coordinate plane, acute or obtuse angles indicate that at least one side will have endpoints that differ in both coordinates. This requires extra calculations.

Curved edges require extra care to measure and cut. Circular or semi-circular windows follow a constant curve that can be traced with limited effort, but the window in the comic is irregular.

{{w|Coplanarity|Noncoplanarity}} is a state where all elements of a system cannot be represented on the same plane. This implies that the window is not flat, suggesting that the glass is curved, and/or that the surrounds that the screen had to be fitted to did not match the shape of the window. The shape in the comic could possibly occur if the room featured in the first and third panels was at least partly conical, with the window narrowing to match the wall sloping inward to a central point above (this would also fit the earlier mention of multiple curved edges). The glass could also be shaped into an outward bubble. Either way, the mesh must be carefully shaped.

Perfectly fitting a custom screen to such a window may be a significant technical accomplishment that the builder may wish to share with acquaintances. However, it is generally not considered near the level of one of the world's most prestigious awards, which often recognize years of effort, rather than something that Cueball did between the "this weekend" and the present (at most one week).

Since no Nobel Prize currently exists that would cover recognition of Cueball's achievement, the title text suggests extending the existing prize in physiology or medicine to also cover home improvement and DIY. [[Randall]] likely chose this prize because it is already anomalous in containing an 'or' in its title, where the other prizes mention only a single area of endeavour.

==Trivia==
At the time this comic was released, there was a technical error making it too large to fit into the page on normal desktop/laptop screens. Since [[1084: Server Problem#Trivia|1084: Server Problem]], two versions of each comic are usually available: normal (1x) and high-resolution (2x). This makes the comic look sharp even on high-DPI screens, such as phones, tablets, and some more expensive computer displays. In this case, however, the 2x version was accidentally uploaded as ''both'' versions, making the 1x comic twice as large as it should be. It is possible that Randall did this intentionally as an added punchline.

Users with this issue can zoom in with their browsers (Ctrl+mouse scroll up) to see the comic better. If the screen is large enough, you might consider always reading xkcd on 200% zoom to see the higher resolution comics.

As of this writing (08:33, 7 October 2025 (UTC)), this issue has not been fixed yet.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[The text for the first panel appears above the panel itself.]
:This weekend,
:I had to make an oversized screen for a porch window.
:[Cueball is looking out through a window with a straight bottom, slanting sides and a curved upper edge.]

:[In each of the remaining panels, the text appears within the panel but above the illustration.]
:It involved countless tiny problems, each somehow way harder than it should be.
:Oblique angles. Curved edges. Noncoplanarity.
:[Cueball is shown pondering various problems involving geometry and angles.]

:... I solved them all.
:I measured precisely. I did trigonometry. I made custom parts.
:And it fit '''''perfectly.'''''
:No gaps, no ripples.
:[Cueball with slightly more hair, looking at the window covered by a bordered mesh.]

:I know that your foundation normally limits its purview to physics, medicine, peace, chemistry and literature.
:However, if you review the attached photo showing how well the screen fits into the...
:[Cueball is revealed to be sitting at a computer, typing a message.]

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]