explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

Talk:2625: Field Topology

2022-05-27T12:59:41Z

BlackBeret:

First [[Special:Contributions/172.70.86.64|172.70.86.64]] 12:50, 27 May 2022 (UTC)

Why is football on the two-hole field? Where are the holes? I don't think the goal posts in American football introduce any since they're not closed. Maybe it's soccer? [[Special:Contributions/172.69.68.88|172.69.68.88]] 12:58, 27 May 2022 (UTC)

:Well, you might still be able to call them holes. They would be if they were fully rectangles. --[[User:BlackBeret|BlackBeret]] ([[User talk:BlackBeret|talk]]) 12:59, 27 May 2022 (UTC)

User:BlackBeret/common.js

2022-05-26T18:08:55Z

BlackBeret: Created page with "mw.loader.load('//www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=User:CRLF/OneClickUndo.js&action=raw&ctype=text/javascript'); // User:CRLF/OneClickUndo.js"

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2613: Bad Map Projection: Madagascator

2022-05-26T17:51:15Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 277845 by Donald Trump (talk)

{{comic
| number = 2613
| date = April 29, 2022
| title = Bad Map Projection: Madagascator
| image = bad_map_projection_madagascator.png
| titletext = The projection's north pole is in a small lake on the island of Mahé in the Seychelles, which is off the top of the map and larger than the rest of the Earth's land area combined.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the fifth comic in the series of [[:Category:Bad Map Projections|Bad Map Projections]] displaying Bad Map Projection #248: Madagascator. It came about 10 months after the fourth [[2489: Bad Map Projection: The Greenland Special ]] (#299).

This time, [[Randall]] used the classic {{w|Mercator projection}} but instead of placing the North Pole on top and the South Pole on the bottom it is oriented so that the top is the island of {{w|Mahé, Seychelles|Mahé}}. The map projection is technically a {{w|Oblique Mercator projection}}, with an unusual choice of the cylinder's axis. Since the Mercator projection tends to visually distort areas near the top and bottom of the resulting map, this gives some areas, notably Madagascar, very unusual shapes, hence the name the ''Madagascator'' — a portmanteau of "Madagascar" and "Mercator"!

The Mercator projection became the standard projection for world maps during the 1800s, because a straight line (or {{w|rhumb line}}) in a Mercator map represents a constant bearing relative to true north. Historically, when navigation was performed by compass, this was a very valuable feature, since one (adjusting for the differences between true and magnetic north) could plot a constant-bearing course between two locations by simply looking at their relative direction on the map.

However, in the mid-20th century, the Mercator was {{w|Mercator_projection#Criticism|criticized}} because it causes distortion near the north and south poles of the map, giving an inaccurate impression of relative sizes. The most commonly given example of this is the size of Greenland — although on the Mercator it appears to be larger than Africa in area, Africa in reality covers an area 14 times that of Greenland.

Randall turns this example on its head by making Madagascar, rather than Greenland, appear larger in the ''Madagascator'' than in reality. By contrast with Greenland, the world's largest non-continent island, Madagascar is only the fourth-largest island in the world, behind Greenland, New Guinea, and Borneo.

To accomplish this, instead of placing the north pole of the map at the geographic North Pole, Randall places the north pole of the map on the island of Mahé in Seychelles. As Madagascar is relatively close to Mahé (around 650 mi (1050 km) distant), placing the north pole of the Mercator projection at Mahé significantly distorts the size of Madagascar, making it appear comparable in size to Europe on the map.

But this distortion is even more pronounced when it comes to the island of Mahé itself, as Randall notes in the title text.
Although Mahé, the largest island in Seychelles with an area of 60.7 square mi (157.2 square km), is minuscule even compared to Madagascar, the claim in the title text that it appears "larger than the rest of the Earth's land area combined" is an understatement.

No part of Mahé is visible in the comic, but clicking on the actual comic will open a [https://mrgris.com/projects/merc-extreme/#a4739c9b@-4.64274,55.45253 website] that displays Mercator projections with a pole in any chosen location, with the location of the one opened set to Mahé. The chosen pole is (infinitely far to) the right of the screen, while its {{w|antipodes|antipode}} is on the left. With this, it is possible to see that the island is indeed larger than the rest of the map's land area combined. A single national park within the island rivals Africa in size, and the narrow dirt road closest to the pole appears thicker than Panama. This also reveals that the location of the map's north pole (the "small lake" mentioned by Randall) is the lake impounded by the Rochon Dam, a popular tourist location in Mahé.

Unlike previous Bad Map Projections, Morocco and Western Sahara are drawn as one unlabelled country.

===Comparison of actual/mapped areas===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
! Landmass
! Status
! data-sort-type="number"|Actual Area<ref name="act">Major contiguous land areas that should exclude all islands, ''especially'' major ones, '''''especially''''' especially those listed separately</ref> (Millions of Km²)
! data-sort-type="number"|Proportion Land Area
! data-sort-type="number"|Proportion Image Area<ref name="pri">Of only these listed areas listed</ref>
! data-sort-type="number"|Distortion<ref name="dis">NB. Difference between percentages, rather than percentage difference</ref>
|-
| Africa<ref name="suez">Edge at Suez Canal</ref> || data-sort-value="C2"|Continent 2nd largest || 29.7 || 19.95% || 35% || +15.1%
|-
| Eurasia<ref name="suez" /> || data-sort-value="C1"|Continent Largest || 53.4 || 35.83% || 30% || -5.83%
|-
| North America<ref name="pan">Edge at Panama Canal</ref> || data-sort-value="C3"|Continent 3rd largest || 19.3 || 12.96% || 15% || +2.04%
|-
| South America<ref name="pan" /> || data-sort-value="C4"|Continent 4th largest || 17.8 || 11.96% || 7.8% || -4.16%
|-
| Antarctica<ref name="ice">Significant ice-sheets may complicate mapped/actual 'land' areas</ref> || data-sort-value="C5"|Continent 5th largest || 14.2 || 9.53% || 5.3% || -4.23%
|-
| Madagascar || data-sort-value="I04"|Island 4th largest || 0.592 || 0.40% || 2.9% || +2.50%
|-
| Australia || data-sort-value="C7"|Continent Smallest || 7.55 || 5.07% || 2.5% || -2.57%
|-
| Greenland<ref name="ice" /> || data-sort-value="I01"|Island Largest || 2.17 || 1.45% || 0.87% || -0.58%
|-
| Borneo || data-sort-value="I03"|Island 3rd largest || 0.749 || 0.50% || 0.37% || -0.13%
|-
| New Guinea || data-sort-value="I02"|Island 2nd largest || 0.786 || 0.53% || 0.32% || -0.21%
|-
| Japan<ref name="hon">Honshu only</ref> || data-sort-value="I07"|Island 7th largest || 0.228 || 0.15% || 0.10% || -0.05%
|-
| Mainland Britain || data-sort-value="I09"|Island 9th largest || 0.209 || 0.14% || 0.10% || -0.04%
|-
| Island of Ireland || data-sort-value="I20"|Island 20th largest || 0.082 || 0.05% || 0.03% || -0.02%
|}

<references/>

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
Bad map projection #248: Madagascator

Mercator projection but with the North Pole in the Indian Ocean so it exaggerates the size of Madagascar instead of Greenland. Various countries and oceans are labeled, and country borders are shown.
{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Bad Map Projections]]

2617: Maps

2022-05-26T17:50:48Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 277540 by Donald Trump (talk)

{{comic
| number = 2617
| date = May 9, 2022
| title = Maps
| image = maps.png
| titletext = OpenStreetMap was always pretty good but is also now *really* good? And Apple Maps's new zoomed-in design in certain cities like NYC and London is just gorgeous. It's cool how there are all these good maps now!
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DIGITAL CARTOGRAPHER- Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{w|Apple Maps}} is a navigation app released in 2012 by Apple as a competitor and replacement for the widely used {{w|Google Maps}}. It was quite bad when first released, attracting lots of criticism from iPhone users who were accustomed to Google Maps' more reliable and accurate navigation (for example, in [https://www.cnet.com/tech/mobile/apple-maps-gets-drivers-lost-in-australian-outback-police-warn/ one instance], it sent drivers 40 miles out of their way into the Australian desert with no water supply). Often, initial negative impressions about a product are retained for a long time, regardless of how it may have developed, particularly when there is an obviously superior competitor to adopt, and no compelling reason to revisit the alternatives. Hence Randall/Cueball is surprised to discover that Apple Maps is now pretty good. His surprise is exaggerated to the extent that it is comparable to finding that some fundamental constant of the universe has shifted, such as the speed of light or pi being changed to some other number.

The term "map" carries a double meaning within this comic. While it refers to an actual map, it also refers to the concept of {{w|Map-territory relation|"map and territory,"}} where your map is your model of the universe, and the territory is the universe itself. Cueball has a map of the universe where Apple Maps is bad, and is surprised to discover that the map no longer fits the territory, and thus has to update his map.

The title text mentions {{w|OpenStreetMap}}, an open-data crowd sourced geodatabase, which has also improved since Randall has last checked, potentially moving it from a "pretty good" score to a "really good" score. He also adds two examples on how the Apple Maps service has improved: zooming in on cities, like London or New York you can see features like trees and road markings, the latter usually not visible on other mapping services at all. He marvels at the number of "good" mapping options now!

Google Maps itself, and especially its satellite coverage outside the US, was considered quite bad when it launched in 2005. The maps displayed back then led to mockery among "real" cartographers that the service couldn't really be considered a map, either: It was called "map-like", with casual digital maps being so new at the time. However, Google's popular mapping approach revolutionized how maps were perceived all over the world. The approaches Google uses are explained in [https://blog.mapspeople.com/how-google-maps-is-made How Google Maps is Made]. This approach blurs the lines between traditional paper maps, GIS (geo-informational systems) and digitally rendered maps on screen. The process of "mapping" - as it is referenced here - has since moved significantly into the digital realm.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is holding his hands up and is staring down at his open palms. Megan and White hat is looking at him.]
:Cueball: You look around one day and realize the things you assumed were immutable constants of the universe have changed.
:Cueball: The foundations of our reality are shifting beneath our feet.
:Cueball: We live in a house built on sand.

:[Caption below panel]
:The day I discovered that Apple Maps is kind of good now

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]

2340: Cosmologist Genres

2022-05-26T17:49:51Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 277666 by Donald Trump (talk)

{{comic
| number = 2340
| date = July 31, 2020
| title = Cosmologist Genres
| image = cosmologist_genres.png
| titletext = Inflationary cosmologists call all music from after the first 10^-30 seconds "post-"
}}

==Explanation==
A cosmologist is someone who studies the universe; cosmology is a branch of astronomy. When describing the composition of stars in astronomical terms, {{w|Metallicity|metals}} are all the elements heavier than {{w|helium}}. This definition of metal is significantly broader than {{w|metal|the one used outside astronomy}}. Likewise, this chart of musical genres describes everything "heavier" than {{w|Pop music|pop}} as metal. The standard conception of elemental metals is a subset of the astronomical conception of metals; likewise, here the musical genre {{w|Heavy metal music|metal}} is presented as a subset of the genres cosmologists consider metal.

Randall may have decided to portray pop music in a similar way to the elements helium and hydrogen as a reference to the "{{w|Splint_(laboratory_equipment)#Burning_splint_test|pop test}}", the test for hydrogen as a product of a chemical reaction.

Cosmologists also study the history and future of the universe, and the title text refers to the {{w|Big Bang}}. At roughly 10-32 seconds after the Big Bang, the {{w|inflationary epoch}} ended, causing a large number of {{w|Quark|quarks, anti-quarks}}, and {{w|Gluon|gluons}} to come into existence. In {{w|inflationary cosmology}}, this point is considered to be the end of the Big Bang. Randall jokingly refers to it as "post-" because nearly the entire history of the universe is after this instant. This is a reference to types of music with "post-" in their names, e.g. {{w|post-rock}}, {{w|post-punk}}, {{w|post-metal}}.

==Transcript==

{|
|+ '''Music genres according to...'''
|-
| ...Non-cosmologists
| ...Cosmologists
|-
| Pop
| Lite
|-
| Rock
| Metal
|-
| Hip hop
| Metal
|-
| Metal
| Metal
|-
| Country
| Metal
|-
| Dance/Electronic
| Metal
|-
| Latin
| Metal
|-
| Punk
| Metal
|-
| Classical
| Metal
|-
| Jazz
| Metal
|-
| Folk
| Metal
|}

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Music]]

1341: Types of Editors

2022-05-26T17:48:40Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 277201 by Donald Trump (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1341
| date = March 12, 2014
| title = Types of Editors
| image = types_of_editors.png
| titletext = m-x machineofdeath-mode
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|WYSIWYG}}, pronounced, "wizzy-wig" IPA /ˈwɪziˌwɪg/, is an acronym that stands for "What you see is what you get". In regards to computers, it refers to text editors in which the user can see exactly what will be published as they are typing it. The comic compares various types of editors, each one a play-on-words on WYSIWYG.

*A WYSIWYG editor displays the edited document in its final form. This could be a printed paper, a web page, a PDF document, and more. This is a real term used for text editors.
*A WYSINWYG editor is the opposite; there is a distinct difference between what the editor displays, and what will be printed. Hence, what you see is ''not'' what you get. They are also known as source editors, such as a {{w|wiki markup}} editor or {{w|TeX}}. In the comic an HTML source editor is shown, where you enter raw HTML code and then presented with the rendered appearance of the final page. The <nowiki></nowiki>-tag marks text that has stress emphasis.
*The WYSITUTWYG ("... is totally unrelated to ...") editor apparently takes your input and proceeds to ignore it entirely, instead displaying totally unrelated words. Possibly a commentary on the Autocorrect function. Randall seems to have made this term up. The phrase "The HORSE is a noble animal" seems to refer to the {{w|Stereotypes of animals#Horses|stereotypes}} commonly associated with horses, or possibly to {{w|Houyhnhnm}} in ''{{w|Gulliver's Travels}}'', an extreme version of those stereotypes.
*WYSIHYD ("... is how you die") shows an "editor" which is not really an editor at all, but rather a pun on the multiple meanings of the word "get": If you ''see'' "eaten by wolves", you will ''get''... eaten by wolves. As in physically attacked and devoured by wolves. This is an example of the [[wikipedia:use-mention distinction|use-mention distinction]], or simply ''get'' meaning "to receive" or "to become" (compare German's different evolution: ''werden'' ("to become") but ''bekommen'' ("to receive")).

The title text is a fictitious command, {{w|meta key|meta}}-x machineofdeath-mode, to the highly extensible {{w|Emacs}} text editor. Emacs operates in various "modes", which are customizations for specific purposes. Placing Emacs into "Machine of Death" mode would turn it into a WYSIHYD editor. (For another fictitious emacs command see [[378: Real Programmers]]). See [[#Machine of Death book|below]] for why this was used.

===Machine of Death book===
This is a reference to "{{w|Machine of Death}}". This book from 2010 is a collection of short stories edited by amongst other {{w|Ryan North}} (of {{w|Dinosaur Comics}}) mentioned here since the idea was based on one of [http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=675 his comics]. Since [[Randall Munroe]] wrote one of the stories the reference is very likely, and would be Randall's first [[:Category:Book promotion|book promotion]] in xkcd, but not the last. All the stories are based around a device, the "Machine of Death", that can predict, with 100% accuracy though generally with extreme ambiguity, how people die from a drop of their blood. In many of the stories very unusual deaths are predicted, often in a very literal way, but not so you know when or where you will die. From the [http://machineofdeath.net/ official home page] the entire book can be downloaded for free as a [http://machineofdeath.net/ebook PDF file]. (Randall's story begins on page 421 - or page 218 of the two sided PDF file. It is simply called "?"). In [[1525: Emojic 8 Ball]] the default question is ''How will I die?'' and can then be answered by an ''Emojic 8 Ball'', which would make it a type of Machine of Death.

==Transcript==
:[There are four panels, each with different headings and explanations of the headings above the panels.]

:[The first three panels shows two titled text boxes, one above the other, with text inside. This text is formated with both small and capital letters as opposed to all capital letters in the rest of the comic.]

:[Heading panel 1:]
:'''WYSIWYG'''
:What you see is
:what you get

:[Panel 1.]
:What you see:
:''Hi''
:What you get:
:''Hi''

:[Heading panel 2:]
:'''WYSINWYG'''
:What you see is
:not what you get

:[Panel 2.]
:What you see:
:<nowiki>Hi</nowiki>
:What you get:
:''Hi''

:[Heading panel 3:]
:'''WYSITUTWYG'''
:What you see is totally
:unrelated to what you get

:[Panel 3.]
:What you see:
:<nowiki>Hi</nowiki>
:What you get:
:The HORSE is a noble animal.

:[The fourth panel shows two titled text areas, the top is a black rectangle with white text in a very large font, and the bottom text area is not outlined with a border.]

:[Heading panel 4:]
:'''WYSIHYD'''
:What you see is
:how you die

:[Panel 4.]
:What you see:
:'''EATEN BY WOLVES'''
:What you get:
::Eaten by wolves

==Trivia==
*"The horse is a noble animal" is the name of a giant rocking-horse sculpture in {{w|Yorkshire}}.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Emacs]]
[[Category:Book promotion]]

102: Back to the Future

2022-05-26T17:48:27Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 277507 by Donald Trump (talk)

{{comic
| number = 102
| date = May 15, 2006
| title = Back to the Future
| image = back_to_the_future.jpg
| titletext = He's kind of an asshole, when you think about it.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a reference to the ''{{w|Back to the Future}}'' film series (specifically the first film) in which the protagonist, {{w|Marty McFly}} (played by {{w|Michael J. Fox}}), travels back from 1985 (present day for him) to 1955 and accidentally interferes with his own parents' first meeting. He must then arrange for them to fall in love before he ceases to exist due to the paradox of his own parents never having children. An unintended side-effect of the way events occur is that his dad gains self-confidence in the past and becomes "less of a loser" in the present.

As noted in the comic, the time machine Marty uses is built by his professor friend, Doctor Emmett L. Brown ({{w|Christopher Lloyd}}), out of a {{w|DeLorean DMC-12}} (a 1980s-era sports car).

[[Hairy]] ([[Cueball]] in the last two panels, as the art is inconsistent in this early comic, and his hair is removed in the last two panels) has had a very similar experience. He suggests that the aforementioned changes to history are what he really needed to do. After a frame of awkward silence, [[Megan]] reminds him that her father was in the {{w|World Trade Center (1973–2001)|World Trade Center}} (WTC) North Tower – implying that he died along with several thousand others in the North Tower on {{w|September 11 attacks|September 11, 2001}} at the time the tower collapsed due to a terrorist-flown passenger jet crashing into the building. Megan is therefore implying that saving her father's life (and perhaps the lives of the other 9/11 victims, or even preventing other disasters in history, such as the 2011 earthquake and tsunami in Japan, or the holocaust) might have been something else of importance he "needed" to do — perhaps something of significantly more importance than just helping his father. He seems completely oblivious to what she is trying to suggest. Megan starts to explain, but apparently decides that there's no point even trying to get through to him.

The title text is calling Marty McFly an asshole for not doing something more benevolent for humankind when he travelled back in time, just as the comic implies of Hairy/Cueball. It can also be seen as someone (presumably Hairy/Cueball) trying to justify the choice, by saying that Megan's dad was "kind of an asshole."

As a side note, for the comic to make sense, the events in the comic must take place after {{w|September 11 attacks|September 11, 2001}}, and not 1985 as it is in the movie. Since no dates are mentioned, Hairy/Cueball probably went back by thirty years, because that's how far back Marty travels in the film.

==Transcript==
:[Megan and Hairy are standing, talking to one another.]
:Hairy: This weekend, my professor friend built a time machine out of a DeLorean and I went back in time! I helped make sure my parents got together and helped my dad to be less of a loser.

:Megan: Wow! Do you still have the time machine?
:Hairy: Nah. But I did what I really needed to do.
:Megan: Uh huh.

:[Beat panel. Hairy's hair isn't drawn in this panel or the next one, making him a Cueball.]

:Megan: Okay, you remember that my father was in the WTC North Tower, right?
:Cueball: Yeah...why?
:Megan: I...nothing.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Time travel]]
[[Category:Back to the Future]]
[[Category:9/11]]

830: Genetic Analysis

2022-05-26T17:48:14Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 278447 by Donald Trump (talk)

{{comic
| number = 830
| date = December 6, 2010
| title = Genetic Analysis
| image = genetic_analysis.png
| titletext = There's still a chance you were conceived via IVF. But we've checked your mom's college yearbook photos, and whether or not she and your father had sex, it's clear that... listen, I know this is hard for you.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Genetic testing}} is a medical procedure where researchers analyze your DNA and family history to determine if you have elevated risk factors for diseases such as heart conditions and cancer. Here, the doctor appears to be delivering the results of [[Cueball]]'s genetic test but instead tells him that his parents had sex at some point.

People generally don't like thinking about their parents having sex, but it obviously happened, since having sex is usually the precondition for having children,{{Citation needed}} so this test result is completely unsurprising. If the doctor only came to this conclusion after analyzing genes on several of Cueball's chromosomes, this could have been done in order to verify that Cueball's DNA indeed resembles the DNA of his supposed parents i.e., that the people whom he has always viewed as his parents are indeed his genetic parents. However, the alternative might be even more disturbing.

The title text notes that he could be an {{w|in-vitro fertilization}} baby, which does not require the parents to directly have sex. However, it seems to suggest that Cueball's mother was very attractive in her college years (or that she was pregnant). Thus, Cueball's mother probably did have sex (regardless of whether or not it was with Cueball's father). This is a reference to the stereotype that college students engage in large amounts of sex.

==Transcript==
:Cueball: Did my genetic tests come back?
:Megan: Yeah. Sit down.
:Cueball: Is it bad news? What are my risk factors?

:[Cueball is now sitting in the chair awaiting her answer. Megan looks down at the clipboard.]
:Megan: We can't be sure about this, but we've analyzed genes on several of your chromosomes and it's hard to avoid the conclusion:

:[Megan puts down the clipboard and looks at Cueball as she delivers her news. Cueball puts his hands to his face in dismay.]
:Megan: At some point, your parents had sex.
:Cueball: Oh God!
:Megan: Stay calm! It's possible it was just once!
:Cueball: I... I need to be alone.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Biology]]

517: Marshmallow Gun

2022-05-04T18:50:30Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 241037 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 517
| date = December 15, 2008
| title = Marshmallow Gun
| image = marshmallow_gun.png
| titletext = Except in reality crossing a stream of marshmallows would create a giant Bill Murray.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] has obtained a gun that shoots {{w|marshmallows}} and promptly decides to shoot at [[Megan]]. Having taken the first few hits without much reaction, she sighs and then brings out the super soaker, which was first used on her in [[220: Philosophy]] (and later reappears in [[2334: Slide Trombone]]), and soaks him with it.

The next day, everyone has such guns and starts shooting marshmallows at each other. We see [[Beret Guy]] and Megan who confront Cueball, saying ''Hey, {{w|noob}}! Eat {{w|Stay Puft Marshmallow Man|Stay-Puft®}}!'' This is like saying ''eat lead'' when threatening someone with a regular gun, since Stay Puft is a fictional brand of marshmallows from the ''{{w|Ghostbusters}}'' movie. (Of course, it's also a reasonable thing to say, since marshmallows are good to eat.){{citation needed}} These statements and many like them appear in many first-person shooter games with chat.

Beret Guy realizes that the "streams" of marshmallows are about to cross and shouts a warning, but it is too late and they cross anyway. This results in something gigantic appearing with a <big>'''Foom'''</big> Roaaar! off-screen. It roars at the three friends. Megan looks up and states that ''this is bad'' as the giant shouts ''You're shooting what?'' Presumably the crossing marshmallow beams have recreated the {{w|Stay Puft Marshmallow Man}} from ''Ghostbusters''. In the movie, crossing the ghost-capturing streams from the {{w|Proton packs|proton packs}} was "{{w|Proton pack#Crossing the streams|bad}}." But in the end, in which an ancient spirit took the form of this giant Marshmallow Man, the monster was destroyed as a side effect of crossing the streams. The Stay-Puft man sees what they are shooting and is justifiably upset.

The title text is a further ''Ghostbusters'' reference, as {{w|Bill Murray}} was one of the actors in the movie. Since the crossing of the streams of the proton packs by Bill Murray and the other Ghostbusters is related to the destruction of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in the movie, the crossing of the marshmallow streams in the comic does the opposite and summons an enormous Bill Murray.

==Transcript==
:[A box above the first frame:]
:I got this gun that shoots marshmallows.
:[Cueball removes the red marshmallow gun from a box.]

:[Cueball shoots at Megan with marshmallow gun from offscreen.]
:Pop pop pop
:Whap whap whap

:[Megan facepalms.]
:Pop
:Megan: Sigh.

:[Megan removes a super soaker from desk drawer.]
:Pop pop

:[Megan shoots Cueball (offscreen) with the super soaker.]
:Cueball (offscreen): Augh!
:''Fwoosh''
:Cueball (offscreen): Man, I forgot that was there.

:[A box above the first frame of the second part of the comic:]
:The next day, everyone else got them too.
:[Megan and Beret Guy brandish marshmallow guns.]
:Megan: Hey, noob! Eat Stay-Puft®!

:[Megan shoots a marshmallow gun.]
:Pop pop pop

:[Cueball shoots a marshmallow gun.]
:Poppop pop

:[Megan and Cueball shoot marshmallows into the air, crossing the streams.]
:Beret Guy (offscreen): No! Don't cross the—

:[Between the last two frames is a wide gap with the following text:]
:'''Foom'''
:Giant monster (offscreen): Roaaar!

:[Megan, Cueball, and Beret Guy are all standing with weapons pointed at the ground looking up.]
:Megan: Okay, this is bad.
:Giant monster (offscreen): '''You're shooting what?'''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]

516: Wood Chips

2022-05-04T18:50:19Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 241223 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 516
| date = December 12, 2008
| title = Wood Chips
| image = wood_chips.png
| titletext = You didn't run a chemical analysis against the Shroud of Turin? Man, all that work for NOTHING.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] has tried to play an elaborate hoax on a woman involving wood chips that match the composition of the wood used to build a 19th-century ghost ship called the ''{{w|Mary Celeste}}''. Unfortunately, the woman has done the sensible, reasonable thing and thrown them out instead of checking to see if they belong to a ghost ship, whose wood chips or what-have-you would probably not have found their way to the hallway. This causes Cueball to realize that he needs to rethink the complicated way in which he creates hoaxes, because the people he is trying to trick do not follow through with his elaborate plans.

The title text suggests that he also set up some kind of chemical match with the {{w|Shroud of Turin}}. The Shroud of Turin is a famous artifact bearing a ghostly image of a man's face, said by some to have been used to wrap the body of {{w|Jesus of Nazareth}}.
{{w|Radiocarbon dating}} performed on the shroud in the late 1980s dated it to the Middle Ages (i.e. not old enough to have been used by Jesus); however, not everyone has accepted this finding.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball leans on desk; Woman sits behind desk.]

:Cueball: Did you ever figure out those mysterious woodchips?
:Woman: The ones in the hallway? No.
:Cueball: You didn't suspect that they matched the timber used in 1861 to build the "ghost ship" Mary Celeste, prompting you to send them to a lab for analysis, the results of which raised new and stranger questions?
:Woman: No, I threw them out. Why?
:[Caption below the panel:]
:My hoaxes need to get a lot less subtle.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

1403: Thesis Defense

2022-05-04T18:49:31Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240838 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1403
| date = August 4, 2014
| title = Thesis Defense
| image = thesis_defense.png
| titletext = MY RESULTS ARE A SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT ON THE STATE OF THE AAAAAAAAAAAART
}}

==Explanation==
In the comic, [[Megan]] is presenting evidence on her {{w|thesis}}, a theory on the evolution of threat displays in mammals, in front of a panel of some people. To conclude her exposition she charges at the audience, shouting a {{w|battle cry}}, and brandishing a sword. The audience flinches. As the audience is composed of mammals and is responding to a displayed threat, we should assume that this response provides some key evidence about the threat displays in mammals.

This comic is a play on a thesis defense and the {{w|adage}} "{{w|The best defense is a good offense}}". The adage means that a strong offensive action will preoccupy the opposition and ultimately hinder its ability to mount an opposing counterattack, leading to a strategic advantage. A thesis defense generally involves an oral exam on the topic the candidate has chosen, and should involve no physical violence.

For added humorous effect, in the title text Megan extrapolates how she improved the state of the art, i.e. what she has added to her field of study, while screaming the word art.

==Transcript==
:[Megan runs towards a desk with two microphones on it, waving a broadsword high in the air. Cueball and one other sitting behind the desk are taken aback, while Ponytail standing off to the side holds an arm in front of her face protectively. A slide is projected on a screen behind Megan, reading "The evolution of threat displays in mammals".]
:Megan: In conclusion, AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
:[Caption below the panel:]
:The best thesis defense is a good thesis offense.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

1402: Harpoons

2022-05-04T18:49:18Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240672 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1402
| date = August 1, 2014
| title = Harpoons
| image = harpoons.png
| titletext = To motivate it to fire its harpoons hard enough, Rosetta's Philae lander has been programmed to believe it is trying to kill the comet.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a graph of the number of {{w|harpoon}}s in space over time. One would not expect that harpoons, which are associated with old technology, would be used in space, which is associated with high technology. Any occurrences are unexpected, and therefore interesting or funny.

The first peak states that a harpoon was in space during the {{w|Apollo 12}} mission and various possible explanations have been put forward (See discussion section below). One of more widely accepted theories proposes that [http://www.harpoon-rum.eu/1.html Harpoon] brand of {{w|Rum#Regional variations|Jamaican rum}} made it aboard the Apollo 12 rocket. Despite a fair amount of research into the basis of the harpoon incident, there have been no credible or official sources to confirm the presence of any type of harpoon on board Apollo 12. As the presence of a harpoon on board would run counter to any official story, perhaps that's exactly why it would be considered an "incident".

The latter peak on this graph refers to the {{w|Rosetta (spacecraft)|Rosetta}} unmanned spacecraft. As part of its mission, it carried a lander called {{w|Philae (spacecraft)|Philae}}, which has two harpoon tethers to anchor itself to the comet {{w|67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko}}. Rosetta was launched in March 2004 (as shown in the graph) and was scheduled to encounter the comet in August 2014, making this a timely comic. Rosetta maneuvered to enter orbit on September 10, and ultimately the Philae lander touched down on the comet on 12 November 2014, although the harpoon system failed to deploy. Randall produced a live comic of the landing, updating [[1446: Landing]] every 5 minutes with the latest progress. The Rosetta spacecraft also carries a disk micro-etched with 13,000 pages of text in 1200 languages donated by the Long Now foundation, mentioned in previous comics.

The title text compares the Philae lander's method of deploying its tethers to {{w|whaling}}, in which sailors would throw harpoons at a whale with the intent of killing the whale. It was important to throw hard so the harpoon would stick in the whale so it could not get away and would tow the whaling boat until it got tired and could be killed. Thus the title text implies that the spacecraft is sentient and needs a motivation to fire the harpoons hard enough to stay anchored to the comet; to this end it has been programmed to believe that its mission is to kill the comet. Evidently this motivation was not enough, as Philae ultimately failed to deploy its harpoons - it still managed to land, though.

==Transcript==
:'''Number of harpoons in space'''
:by year
:[A chart with a red graph is drawn below.]
:[The y-axis.]
:0 1 2 3
:[The x-axis.]
:1950 1960 1970 1980 1990 2000 2010 2020
:[The graph is at zero until a sharp peak to 1 in 1970. The peak is labeled.]
:Apollo 12 rum incident
:[The graph then stays at 0 until 2004. Then it rises to 2 and stays there until today, continuing as a dotted line after 2014. The rise is labeled.]
:Rosetta comet mission launched carrying lander with harpoon tethers

==Trivia==
In 2018, shortly after the line gets dotted, the number actually increased again., thanks to the {{w|RemoveDEBRIS}} satelite.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

1401: New

2022-05-04T18:49:05Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240972 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1401
| date = July 30, 2014
| title = New
| image = new.png
| titletext = The nice thing about headcannnons is that it's really easy to get other people to believe in them.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic strip uses a play on the {{w|homophone|homophonic}} relationship between "{{w|Canon_(fiction)|canon}}", the literary term, and "{{w|cannon}}", a projectile weapon. The word headcannon is a compound of "head" and "cannon".

In this strip, [[Black Hat]] tells [[Cueball]] that he has a "new headcannon". [[Cueball]], thinking Black Hat means "headcanon" (an unjustified belief or theory about a fictional universe), inquires what Black Hat's new idea is. Instead of the expected idea or theory, Black Hat removes his hat to reveal a tiny cannon on his head which blows away Cueball and his computer desk.

While headcanon may often be ignored or dismissed as a personal theory, a headcannon would be far harder to ignore, as it is a physical object which has a notable (and in this case violent) impact on the real world.

In the title text Randall makes the spellings of these two words indistinguishable by using three consecutive "n"s to spell "headcannnon". Therefore, the title text is deliberately vague. It could be interpreted that it is easy to convince people that you have a cannon on your head, that it is easy to make people believe in a self invented headcanons, or both. Since you are choosing your own interpretation of this title text, the joke is that you are creating your own headcanon.

This comic also shows Cueball being once again distracted from his work in a manner similar to [[1388: Subduction License]].

===Canon===
In terms of a given literary series, "''{{w|Canon_(fiction)|canon}}''" describes a set of works that are collectively recognized by the community as having authenticity. Generally, works created or endorsed by the original author(s) are considered canonical. Not all original content is considered canon and not all canon is original content. Sometimes creators will rewrite the canon (called a {{w|retcon}}) and make things that were previously canonical non-canonical. For example, the origins of a character may be rewritten, thus invalidating the portions of the works that speak to the old origins. Other times creators will incorporate non-original content and therefore incorporate the canon of these borrowed works.

===Headcanon===
A ''headcanon'' as the name implies is a form of canon that only exists in one's mind. More specifically, a headcanon is created when a consumer watching or reading the material develops their own ideas about a fictional universe that are not actually part of the canon, perhaps developing their own backstories or experiences for characters. Some frequent examples of headcanon include relationships between characters, abilities, events following the conclusion of the work, etc. which the author or creator has not explained or included. For example, a consumer may "read between the lines" and assume that there was a previous romantic relationship between two characters where no conclusive evidence actually exists of one. Some fans who come up with particularly interesting or convincing headcanons may decide to share them with others in hopes that their idea spreads.

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat walks in.]
:Black Hat: New headcannon:

:[Cueball is sitting at his desk, using his computer.]
:Cueball: Yeah?

:[Black Hat lifts his hat, revealing his "headcannon": a tiny cannon on the top of his head. The headcannon fires and blows up Cueball's desk, the explosion throwing Cueball backwards.]
:Headcannon: '''BOOM'''
:Cueball: Augh!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Portmanteau]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Puns]]

1400: D.B. Cooper

2022-05-04T18:48:56Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 241009 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1400
| date = July 28, 2014
| title = D.B. Cooper
| image = d_b_cooper.png
| titletext = 'Why on Earth would someone commit air piracy just to finance a terrible movie decades later?' 'People are very strange these days.'
}}

==Explanation==
[[File:DBCooper.jpg|thumb|150px|Cooper]]
In 1971, a man referred to by the media as {{w|D. B. Cooper}} hijacked a Boeing 727 and escaped with $200,000 in ransom money (equivalent to $900,000 in 2003 or $1,250,000 in 2020). While the FBI maintains that Cooper was most likely killed when he parachuted from the plane, they have never determined his identity, and the investigation was called off in 2016, making it the United States' only unsolved plane hijacking. (This mystery was later referenced in [[1501: Mysteries]], and then again in [[2452: Aviation Firsts]].)

[[File:Tommy Wiseau.jpg|thumb|150px|Wiseau]]
In 2003, {{w|Tommy Wiseau}} released {{w|The Room (film)|''The Room''}}, which is considered by many to be the worst film ever made, but has also earned a sizable number of fans who uphold it as a prime example of a film that is "{{w|so bad, it's good}}". In the decade since, Wiseau has become something of an icon alongside his infamous movie, of which he was the producer, writer, director, and main star. Surprisingly little, however, is known about him. The comic refers to "The Room" as "...the '{{w|Citizen Kane}}' of bad movies." This is a comparison between what is widely considered the best film of all time, which was, coincidentally the first film produced by, written by, directed by, and starring Orson Welles and what is widely considered the worst film of all time, the first film produced by, written by, directed by, and starring Tommy Wiseau.

This comic points to similarities between several details of Cooper and Wiseau's stories:

{| class="wikitable"
|-
!Cooper
!Wiseau
|-
|"Vanished mysteriously with a large amount of money":Cooper escaped with $200,000 in 1971 dollars, equivalent to around $1.3M today. $5,800 of that money was recovered in 1980 in the vicinity of where Cooper jumped from the plane, but the rest was never found. Assuming Cooper survived, he would have had decades to turn the $200k into an even larger fortune.
|"Appeared mysteriously with a large amount of money":''The Room'' cost $6 million to make, and initially grossed a mere $1,900—a loss of 99.97% of the investment. It is generally assumed that all or most of that money was Wiseau's own, which raises the question of how he obtained such wealth. Although Wiseau claims to have earned his money by selling toys to tourists, and later factory-reject jeans, his ''Room'' co-star {{w|Greg Sestero}} considers it very unlikely that he earned so many millions this way.
|-
|"Real age/name unknown":Cooper's real name remains unknown. While he was estimated to be in his mid-40s, his precise age is also unknown.
|"Colleague says he's much older than he claims":In 2010, Wiseau stated that he was 41. Sestero, however, says he was born in the 1950s.
|-
|"Ambiguous, possibly affected speaking style ('negotiable American currency')":Cooper's use of this unusual phrase has led to speculation about his origins, including as to whether he was perhaps not an American.
|"Ambiguous, possibly affected speaking style ('You are tearing me apart, Lisa!')":The most famously melodramatic line from ''The Room'', [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Plz-bhcHryc "You are tearing me apart, Lisa!"] is one of several which highlights Wiseau's unusual accent and less-than-complete command of the English language. As with Cooper's "negotiable American currency," it is phrased in a way not typical of American English.The phrase "You're tearing me apart!" originally appeared in ''{{w|Rebel Without a Cause}}'', though it appeared in a more appropriate context. Wiseau simply wanted to include the phrase because he adored James Dean, without considering how the phrase ended up feeling in his movie.
|-
|"Fate unknown":Cooper has not been seen since he jumped from the plane, though the FBI has investigated over a thousand "serious suspects." He either died trying to jump from the plane, or disappeared completely after touching down.
|"Background unknown":Despite Wiseau being a public figure for over a decade since the release of ''The Room'', little is definitively known about his background. Sestero says Wiseau was born somewhere in Eastern Europe - people who have traced his family tree found his family are likely from {{w|Poznań}}, central Poland. Wiseau has said he has moved back and forth between Europe and the U.S. throughout his life, spending significant time in France and Louisiana. His accent is hard to place.His legal name, place of birth, date of birth, and nationality are all unknown, as are most of the details of how he's spent his life.
|-
|}

The comic then compares an FBI sketch of Cooper with a photograph of Wiseau, apparently to claim that they have similar appearances. The only real similarity is that they're both wearing sunglasses.

However, these are only a few cherry-picked aspects of their lives, and do not seriously suggest that they are the same person. For example, even if we assume that Wiseau was born in 1950, and that Cooper was only 35 (probably the youngest age which can be mistaken for mid-40s) in 1971, that leaves a 14-year gap between their ages. Likewise, Cooper was said to have either an American or Canadian accent, while Wiseau's bizarre accent is certainly not North American. While [[Cueball]]'s theory in this comic is clearly a joke on [[Randall]]'s part, given Randall's [[258: Conspiracy Theories|known]] [[690: Semicontrolled Demolition|distaste]] [[966: Jet Fuel|for]] conspiracy theories, this may also be making fun of people who base theories off of minor details while ignoring contradictory ones and bigger-picture questions. The question in the title text, for instance, notes that Cooper would have gone through a huge amount of effort just to produce a movie; a similar rhetorical device is often used against convoluted conspiracy theories, where one points out a vastly simpler way for the supposed conspirators to have accomplished their goals.

The title text goes on to attribute such a weird motive for hijacking to the impression that "people are very strange these days," which is another quote from ''The Room''.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is using a baton to point towards a projector.]
:D.B. Cooper
:("Dan Cooper")

:Hijacked a plane in the 1970s.
:On landing, demanded money and
:parachutes. Jumped from plane
:mid-flight and was never found.

:*Vanished mysteriously with large amount of money
:*Real age/name unknown
:*Ambiguous, possibly affected speaking style ("negotiable American currency")
:*Fate unknown

:[Cueball has his palm out.]
:Tommy Wiseau
:("Johnny")

:Wrote, directed, and starred in
:''The Room'', a film widely hailed as
:"The ''Citizen Kane'' of bad movies."

:*Appeared mysteriously with large amount of money
:*Colleague says he's much older than he claims.
:*Ambiguous, possibly affected speaking style ("You are tearing me apart, Lisa!")
:*Background unknown

:[Two images captioned "Cooper (FBI sketch)" and "Wiseau (Flickr photo by Al Pavangkanan)".]

:Offscreen voice: This is the dumbest theory I've ever heard.
:Cueball: But it explains ''everything!!''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring D. B. Cooper]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Conspiracy theory]]

1358: NRO

2022-05-04T18:47:36Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240885 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1358
| date = April 21, 2014
| title = NRO
| image = nro.png
| titletext = 'DISPATCHING DRONE TO TARGET COORDINATES.' 'Wait, crap, wrong button. Oh jeez.'
}}

==Explanation==
''Where's Waldo?'' (the North American renaming of the British ''{{w|Where's Wally?}}'') is a children's puzzle book in which you have to locate 'Waldo', a character with a distinctive striped shirt and hat, in a picture crowded with hundreds of characters. This is harder than it sounds, since the characters are both very small and quite densely packed on the page, and the pages (especially in later books) are often littered with "decoy" characters wearing similar articles of clothing to Waldo's. In some cases, almost ''all'' characters as well as several objects have the red-and-white stripes.

[[Cueball]] and his friend are using satellite imaging to find Waldo, by holding the book up to the sky and viewing it on the computer, presumably using some advanced image processing software to identify Waldo among the crowd. This would require a very advanced camera, as resolutions are usually much lower than would be necessary to resolve the characters in a Where's Waldo book. But since Cueball works at the {{w|National Reconnaissance Office}} (NRO), the US government agency responsible for operating spy satellites, he probably has access to some powerful satellite-mounted cameras.

The humor in this being, while he could be using that power for much more important things, he's instead trying to solve a simple game. Further, the Cueballs could probably hook up the image parsing software to a smaller camera on the ground, rather than a satellite-mounted camera. They would get even better results without using a camera by scanning the image and running it through the same image processing software.

The title text is implying that the Cueball operating the computer has accidentally launched a drone at the co-ordinates, which would be where he and his friend are standing. The drone is presumably a {{w|Unmanned combat aerial vehicle|military drone}} armed with explosive weaponry — not a good thing for those on the receiving end.

==Transcript==
:Cueball and a friend are in a remote area. The friend is holding a ''Where's Waldo?'' book towards the sky.
:Laptop: [<tt>Target located</tt>]
:Cueball: Got him. Left edge, two inches down.
:The National Reconnaissance Office has an unusual approach to ''Where's Waldo''.

==Trivia==
*A ''What If'' comic examining the use of the {{w|Hubble Space Telescope}} for the purpose of taking photos from the earth's surface can be found here: [http://what-if.xkcd.com/32/ Hubble]. It just shows that current technology is not capable of achieving the image resolutions needed here.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Drones]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]

1274: Open Letter

2022-05-04T18:45:41Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240756 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1274
| date = October 7, 2013
| title = Open Letter
| image = open_letter.png
| titletext = Are you ok? Do you need help?
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a reference to the {{w|United States federal government shutdown of 2013|US government shutdown in 2013}} that had been ongoing for a week and was still current as of the time of this comic. Under some circumstances, the United States Federal Government {{w|Government shutdown in the United States|can temporarily shut down}} pending budget legislation being passed by the United States Congress. These shutdowns are typically due to political disagreements between the President, the House of Representatives, and the Senate. Due to the shutdown, numerous government services and facilities are shut down, often resulting in many logistical issues for the public.

Over the years, various conspiracy theories have been proposed claiming that the United States Government is not controlled by publicly-elected officials, but rather by one or more organizations that secretly control the actions of the government (sometimes termed a {{w|Shadow government (conspiracy)|"shadow government"}}). In this strip, [[Randall]] writes a letter to the shadow government, telling them that the situation (having the country's government shut down) is embarrassing and asking them to fix the problem.

This comic also implicitly argues against the plausibility of the aforementioned conspiracy theories if one assumes that a shadow-controlled government would be more likely to operate with a singular purpose and therefore be less susceptible to paralyzing political disagreements. Randall previously alluded to this in the title text to [[1081|comic 1081]]: "Really, the comforting side in most conspiracy theory arguments is the one claiming that anyone who's in power has any plan at all." This is one of several comics in which Randall expresses dismay at how many intelligent people can fall for absurd conspiracy theories; see comics [[258]] and [[690]], among others.

The title text addresses the leadership of the shadow government in more colloquial terms, asking if they are suffering from personal problems that are impeding their ability to keep things under control. This is patronizing, and thus hilarious.

The message, as titled, is in the form of an "{{w|Open letter|Open Letter}}", being a directed and 'personal' message to a person or group of people which is nonetheless intended by the sender to be publicly aired (unlike a standard commentary or editorial, which is intended for public consumption, but addresses the concerned 'target' almost as an aside). In some cases this may be to ensure the correspondence is not kept confidential by the recipients and/or that the public as a whole are ''also'' indirectly addressed ('Cc'ed) in the correspondence, without having to compose a companion piece for that purpose. In this case, however, it may additionally be because the intended recipient(s) are not so easily identified for direct communication, and a public airing would ensure 'delivery' even without compromising the integrity of the message. Open Letters are often aired (or pre-copied, verbatim, from actual correspondence) in one or area or other of the public media, and while web-comics aren't ''necessarily'' the most publicised of forums, the xkcd readership almost certainly leads to covering both the 'named' recipients and the intended public view.

===Addressees===
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Addressee !! Brief Description
|-
| {{w|Freemasonry|The Freemasons}}|| Fraternity claiming the legacy of medieval stonemasons. Some of the {{w|Founding Fathers of the United States}} were members of the organization. Organised in local groups, the so-called ''Lodges''.
|-
| {{w|Illuminati}} || Secret society formed in Bavaria to further the ideas of {{w|enlightenment}}. Although officially banned in 1785, many conspiracy theorists believe the organisation might have survived and is still secretly exerting influence.
|-
| {{w|Scientology}} || A church founded by science-fiction writer {{w|L. Ron Hubbard}}. Often criticised for alleged {{w|brainwashing}} of its members and accused of hiding commercial interests behind religious claims.
|-
| {{w|FEMA}} || Agency of the United States Department of Homeland Security, that has been granted extensive authorisations in cases of emergency and is therefore believed to act as an entity independent of governmental control. Conspiracy theorists also claim that FEMA has been building concentration camps to silence conspiracy theorists.
|-
| {{w|New_World_Order|The New World Order}} || Not a secret organisation itself, but rather the concept of establishing a totalitarian system controlled by an elitist group in this list.
|-
| {{w|Federal_Reserve|The Federal Reserve}} || Central state bank system of the United States, therefore to some degree able to control the monetary circulation of the {{w|US Dollar}}.
|-
| {{w|Citigroup}} || One of the four biggest American financial service corporations. Considered by the {{w|Financial Stability Board}} to be a {{w|Too big to fail|"systemically important financial institution"}}.
|-
| {{w|Halliburton}} || International corporation offering technical services, especially in the field of oil and gas production. Also a major supplier for the {{w|US military}}. Halliburton was in the headlines for unethical business practices and connections to the former US Vice President {{w|Dick Cheney}}.
|-
| {{w|Google}} || Corporation offering Internet services, most notably the {{w|Google Search|Google search engine}}. Known for collecting massive amounts of data about its users in order to sell personalised advertisement. The idea of secret plans of Google has been mentioned in comic [[792]].
|-
| {{w|Holy See|The Vatican}} || Central government of the {{w|Catholic Church}} and residence of the {{w|pope}}. Historically important not only as a religious authority, but also as a {{w|Papal States|secular political power}}.
|-
| {{w|Bilderberg_Group|Bilderburg (correctly: ''Bilderberg'')}} || Annual conference of important politicians, bankers, directors of major corporations and other {{w|List of Bilderberg participants|people of influence}}, therefore considered the quintessential elitist meeting.
|-
| {{w|Walmart}} || American retail corporation, best known for the eponymous chain of warehouse stores. As of January 2013, Walmart is the world's largest public corporation by revenue.
|-
| {{w|Rothschild_family|The Rothschilds}} || Family of Jewish financiers that was later elevated into European nobility. Believed to exercise influence through considerable wealth. The subject of conspiracy theories since the mid-19th century, when they amassed the largest fortune in world history.
|-
| {{w|Knights Templar}} || Originally a medieval Christian military order of considerable influence, the Knights Templar were inspiration for many successive (secret) organisations that are sometimes believed to undermine governmental authorities. There is also an {{w|Knights Templar (Freemasonry)|eponymous order}} affiliated with Freemasonry. It may also be a reference to the ''{{w|Assassin's Creed|Assassins Creed}}'' video game series, in which several historical figures are claimed to have been Templars.
|-
| {{w|High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program#Conspiracy theories|HAARP}} || Ionospheric research project of the US military. Believed by some conspiracy theorists to conceal attempts to control the weather and trigger catastrophes.
|-
| {{w|United Nations|The UN}} || Large intergovernmental organization; most countries (193) in the world are members, with Palestine and the Vatican having observer status at the UN. It has little direct power unless its member states choose to cooperate.
|-
| {{w|Skull and Bones|Skull & Bones}} || A secret society at the {{w|Yale University}} that has many influential American politicians amongst its members, including former Presidents {{w|George H. W. Bush}} and {{w|George W. Bush}}, as well as former Secretary of State {{w|John Kerry}}.
|-
| {{w|Bohemian Grove}} || Campground of the private {{w|Bohemian Club}} in San Francisco, known for hosting an annual encampment of club members and selected guests who are among the most powerful men in the world.
|-
| {{w|Political activities of the Koch brothers|The Koch Brothers}} || Owners of the second-largest private company in the USA, known for supporting libertarian and conservative political causes.
|-
| {{w|George_Soros|George Soros}} || Business magnate and investor, known for supporting liberal political causes.
|-
| {{w|The Trilateral Commission}} || {{W|Think tank}} and associated meeting, emphasizing cooperation between North America, Western Europe, and Japan; founded by {{w|David Rockefeller}}
|-
| {{w|Sovereign Military Order of Malta|The Knights of Malta}} || Religious order that was once a sovereign state; contemporary {{w|Malta|Republic of Malta}} is not controlled by this order. Its exact status now is debated; it considers itself a "sovereign subject of international law" and has observer status at the United Nations.
|-
| {{w|Council on Foreign Relations|The CFR}} || Acronym for the {{w|Council on Foreign Relations|Council on Foreign Relations}}. Foreign policy think tank in the United States
|-
| {{w|ExxonMobil|Exxon Mobil}} || Major petroleum corporation; third largest company in the world, by revenue
|-
| {{w|Zionism|The Zionists}} || Political movement favouring the creation of a Jewish homeland, a goal achieved with the creation of the state of {{w|Israel}}. In a conspiracy-theory context, it references the belief that wealthy and powerful Jews (such as the above-referenced Rothschilds) control political and social institutions, as presented e.g. in the (fake) {{w|Protocols of Zion}}.
|-
| {{w|Vril#Vril society|The Vril Society}} || The "Vril" are a hidden subterranean race from the novel ''Vril, the Power of the Coming Race'' by {{w|Edward_Bulwer-Lytton|Edward Bulwer-Lytton}}. The novel allegedly inspired a "Vril Society" in Nazi Germany; however, there is no real evidence that the society existed, much less that it had the influence sometimes ascribed to it.
|-
| {{w|Reptilian humanoid|The Lizard People}} || Secret snake-men, similar to the aliens from ''{{w|V (franchise)|V}}''. This is probably a reference to the conspiracy theories of {{w|David Icke}}, which include the idea that an ancient race of god-like, shapeshifting Lizards have interbred with humans, and that these half-bloods now secretly control the world.
|-
| and everyone else who secretly controls the {{w|Federal government of the United States|US Government}} || Note the implicit notion that so many different groups each have control, which makes no sense.
|}

==Transcript==
:[The picture shows a letter.]
:October 7th 2013
:To: The Freemasons, the Illuminati, Scientology, FEMA, the New World Order, the Federal Reserve, Citigroup, Halliburton, Google, the Vatican, Bilderburg, Walmart, the Rothschilds, the Knights Templar, HAARP, the UN, Skull & Bones, Bohemian Grove, the Koch Brothers, George Soros, the Trilateral Commision, the Knights of Malta, the CFR, Exxon Mobil, the Zionists, the Vril Society, the Lizard People, and everyone else who secretly controls the US government
:Can you please get your shit together?
:This is embarrassing.
:Sincerely,
:A Concerned Citizen

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Conspiracy theory]]

1261: Shake That

2022-05-04T18:45:12Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240468 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1261
| date = September 6, 2013
| title = Shake That
| image = shake that.png
| titletext = How do I work it? IT'S ALREADY WORKING!
}}

==Explanation==
Visiting a club, [[Megan]] is exhorted by a phrase used in several songs, to "shake what your mama gave you", a crude euphemism typically used to encourage shaking one's body parts, referring to any of the sexually appealing anatomical parts of the dancer. Taking this exhortation extremely literally, Megan proceeds to locate a mug presumably given to her by her "mama" labeled "World's greatest daughter" and shakes it.

The phrase "shake what your mama gave ya" was in use as early as 1992, when it was the title of a song by {{w|Poison Clan}}, a southern hip-hop group that was influential from 1990–1995. Another version by Stik-E & Da Hoodz was released in 1995 by Phat Wax records. The line gained a wider audience when it was sampled by {{w|Fatboy Slim}} in the similarly titled "Ya Mama" on his 2000 album ''{{w|Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars}}''. More recently the line was featured in the {{w|Lil Jon}} single "Stick That Thang Out". In fitting with the general thematic composition of such a song, a large part of which revolves around either goading a woman to, or describing one who is dancing seductively in a nightclub - this line asks a girl to dance, thereby swaying her hips & buttocks, or breasts, the most common male 'fetishes' — making them more conspicuous in the usually dim ambiance because of the phase lag with the rest of the body, which may be attributed to non-rigidity of the elastic structures — for purposes of her male audience's gratification (whether it be solicited or voyeuristic).

The title text refers to another lyrical cliche, "work it", which typically refers to "working" one's body; again, generally seductively. The action may be considered work either from the point of mechanical work, or as a reference to a professional dancer. This naturally leads Megan to further confusion (as indicated by the title text) when taken literally, as she responds "it's already working!" It is not entirely clear if she is again referring to the mug, or simply another generic object not displayed in the comic.

[[1291: Shoot for the Moon]] may be a continuation of this, due to Megan misunderstanding common saying or references.

==Transcript==
:[Megan stands in a disco, surrounded by dancing figures. She looks confused.]
:PA system: Shake what your mama gave you
:Megan: ???
:[Megan walks out of the club door.]
:[We see a mug on a table, labelled "World's Greatest Daughter".]
:[Megan shakes the mug.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Music]]

1259: Bee Orchid

2022-05-04T18:45:00Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240999 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1259
| date = September 2, 2013
| title = Bee Orchid
| image = bee orchid.png
| titletext = In sixty million years aliens will know humans only by a fuzzy clip of a woman in an Axe commercial.
}}

==Explanation==
Megan is explaining the evolutionary [http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/evolution/library/01/1/l_011_02.html phenomenon] of mimicry of female insects which fools male insects into trying to mate with the flower ({{w|pseudocopulation}}). This causes the pollen of the flower to stick to the male bee, who may make the same mistake with another flower, allowing for pollination.

This particular orchid mimicked the solitary bee ''{{w|Eucera}}'', which now only pollinates it in the Mediterranean (the bee isn't really extinct yet). This may eventually lead to the extinction of the orchid due to lack of reproduction. In most areas where it grows, the orchid is using a method of {{w|self-pollination}}, which can be detrimental to the genetic vitality of the species as it is a form of in-breeding.

Photographs of ''{{w|Ophrys apifera}}'':

[[File:Ophrys apifera flower1.jpg|x250px]] [[File:Bee orchids, Aller Brook Local Nature Reserve - geograph.org.uk - 833516.jpg|x250px]]

Female ''Eucera (Synhaolonia)'' guarding nests (left) and male ''Eucera'' (right):

[[File:Synhalonia nest 1.jpg|x200px]] [[File:Apidae - Eucera sp. (male).JPG|x200px]]

In a similar way, some plants depend on animal species now extinct, but as the dependency was not about pollination but about spreading seeds across the land, those plant species can still last millions of years after the animal species extinction. For instance, [http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2013/12/04/avocado-ghosts-of-evolution/ it’s the case of the avocado].

The comic plays on the subject of levels of indirectness of memory or knowledge representation. The female bee is extinct, remembered only by the male bee's perception of her; the male bee is also extinct, but its memory of the female is preserved in the orchid's shape; the orchid, due to self-pollination, is nearing extinction, but the memory of the female bee is now preserved by Beret Guy's memory of the orchid, remembering the male bee's memory of her.

The title text culminates this theme by invoking the idea that some day human beings will, likewise, be extinct, and aliens will be able to learn about us through the distorted and faded representations of ourselves that we leave behind - {{w|Axe (brand)|Axe}} commercials which, like the orchid, present an idealized form to deceptively attract mates. We are left to speculate whether these aliens will be able to construct, somehow, through three levels of indirectness (the human representation, the orchid's representation and the male bee's perception) any memory of the female Eucera, and, if so, how distorted a view of the bee it will be.

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy and Megan are walking through a wood.]
:Megan: There are these orchids whose flowers look like female bees. When males try to mate with them, they transfer pollen.

:[Megan kneels next to a flower.]
:Megan: This orchid - ''Ophrys Apifera'' - makes flowers, but no bees land on them because the bee it mimics went extinct long ago.

:[Megan stands.]
:Megan: Without its partner, the orchid has resorted to self-pollinating, a last-ditch genetic strategy that only delays the inevitable. Nothing of the bee remains, but we know it existed from the shape of this flower.

:[They walk on past the flower.]
:Megan: It's an idea of what the female bee looked like to the male bee...
:Megan: ...as interpreted by a plant.
:Beret Guy: Wow, so...

:[We see a full-colour painting of an orchid flower. It has purple-pink petals on a mottled grey background, along with the bee-like parts. It's quite a realistic painting.]
:...the only memory of the bee is a painting by a dying flower.

:[The flower is alone in a panel.]

:[Beret Guy walks back on screen.]

:[Beret Guy kneels down next to it.]
:Beret Guy: I'll remember your bee, orchid. I'll remember you.

:[Beret Guy walks off-panel again.]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Bees]]
[[Category:Aliens]]

1255: Columbus

2022-05-04T18:44:12Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240557 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1255
| date = August 23, 2013
| title = Columbus
| image = columbus.png
| titletext = And thus was smallpox introduced into the previously Undying Lands.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic starts with [[White Hat]] telling the two children shown on the first panel that Christopher Columbus knew the world was round, but that others believed it to be flat. However, this is a false narrative known as the {{w|Myth of the Flat Earth}}. Educated people in Columbus's time knew the world was round, and knew the approximate radius of the Earth. Columbus claimed that the distance to sail west from Canary Islands to Japan to be about 3,700 km, drastically lower than others believed, but {{w|Christopher Columbus#Geographical considerations|he was wrong about this}}. If another continent and the "{{w|West Indies}}" had not been fortuitously in the right place, Columbus and his crew probably would have died at sea.

As White Hat begins his explanation, Megan objects, though not explaining why. White Hat continues, so Megan interrupts, saying that Columbus went in a straight line as the world curved away, ending up in {{w|Valinor}} and the {{w|Undying Lands}}. Megan's story is an allusion to ''{{w|The Silmarillion}}'', by {{w|J. R. R. Tolkien}}, set in the same world as ''{{w|The Lord of the Rings}}'' and ''{{w|The Hobbit}}''. The claim that Columbus sailed on a tangent to the surface alludes to how the elves' ships leave the curved sea surface and sail in a straight line to reach Valinor on the same route that they sailed when the world was still flat. The mentions of a silmaril and the morning star are a reference to {{w|Eärendil|Eärendil the Mariner}}, the only mortal sailor to reach the Undying Lands, with one of the {{w|Silmaril}}s (though Eärendil's journey occurred at the end of the First Age and the world was only changed into a sphere near the end of the Second Age). Megan humorously conflates these myths, suggesting that they are all equally false. Columbus in fact wasn't the first to claim the world was round; the ancient Greeks had discovered it long before. It was, however, disputed by some Christian scholars {{w|Spherical_Earth#Late_Antiquity|in late antiquity}} due to disagreements over its congruence with biblical canon. In Megan's telling, Columbus ends up as the morning star, which is actually the planet {{w|Venus}} (the same fate as Eärendil's in Tolkien's mythology).

The joke is that when White Hat tells her to stop making up the story, Megan pointedly replies "You first", indicating that she originally complained about White Hat's retelling of the Columbus story because his account didn't really happen, and so he was also "making things up". Megan's fantasy tale was then delivered to make a point.

The title text refers to the {{w|Smallpox#History|transfer of smallpox}} to the Americas by Europeans, which caused the deaths of untold millions of Native Americans. The introduction of smallpox to the Undying Lands would indeed make their name ironic. However, the Undying Lands are named after immortal {{w|Valar}}, {{w|Maiar}}, and {{w|elf (Middle-Earth)|Elves}} living there, not because they confer immortality. A more proper name would be the Lands of the Undying, and Valar, Maiar, and Elves are not susceptible to diseases in Tolkien's mythos in any case.

Similar discussions between White Hat and Megan can be found in [[1605: DNA]] and [[1731: Wrong]], in the latter Megan even finishes with a similar *sigh* as she started with here.

==Transcript==
:[White Hat talks to two children sitting in front of him on the floor to the right. A boy with hair like Hairy with his arms round his knees and behind him Science Girl with two hair buns, sitting cross leged on her knees. Megan interrupts him from off-panel right.]
:White Hat: Everyone said the world was flat, but Columbus knew it was round.
:Megan (off-panel): *Sigh* no, no, no.

:[Megan walks in holding a hand palm up. White Hat partly lifts his arm closest to her. The children between them turn their heads towards her. The boy leans back on one hand.]
:Megan: So he took his ships and sailed west—
:Megan: —in a line tangent to the surface. The sea fell away, and he landed in ''Valinor.''

:[White Hat has taken his arm down, Megan holds her arms out to each side. The children still looks at her, now also Science Girl leans back on one arm.]
:Megan: A Silmaril on his brow, he wanders the heavens as the morning star, still believing he reached India.
:White Hat: Stop making stuff up.
:Megan: You first.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Science Girl]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]] 
[[Category:LOTR]]

1250: Old Accounts

2022-05-04T18:43:56Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240521 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1250
| date = August 12, 2013
| title = Old Accounts
| image = old accounts.png
| titletext = If you close an account while it's still friends with people, it contributes to database linkage accumulation slowdown, which is a major looming problem for web infrastructure and definitely not a thing I just made up.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is very dramatically following the described process of removing himself from a {{w|Social networking service|social network}} by first unfriending each contact in reverse order that he friended them. Such actions are not necessary on any well-designed website. Actively unfriending people individually could be perceived as rude, antisocial, or in need of help. On the other hand, if a user simply abandons his or her account without cleaning it up, then even years later, it will still be sitting there, gathering friends' statuses, opinions and comments.

The ''reverse order'' to unfriend people refers to practice of correct {{w|Resource management (computing)|resource management}} in computer programming. Computer programs typically require access to many resources at a time, and some of those resources may only be available insofar as the program has access to other more basic resources.

For example, if you wanted to watch a movie from a rental service, you would first acquire a keep case with a disk inside of it, and then you would remove the {{w|DVD}} from the case in order to play it on a TV. Once you had watched the movie, you would put the DVD back inside the case. Then you would return the case to the store. The process for "releasing" these two resources (the DVD and the keep case) follows the reverse order of how they were obtained: the case was retrieved from the store before the disk was removed, but the disk must be put back before you return the case.

A computer program must release resources in a valid order, though it is often difficult for programmers to ensure this, due to the many paths of execution a program can follow. If resources are released in the wrong order, then a newer resource may reference an older resource that has already been destroyed, and when attempting to use the remaining resource, a variety of bad things could happen if the program attempted to access the already lost resource.

While resources do not always need to be released in exactly the reverse order of how they were obtained, doing so ensures that, as each resource is released, none of the resources that existed when it was acquired (and thus which it could be dependent upon) will have been released yet.

In the case of unfriending users on a social networking site, it is imagined that Cueball or any other user could have made newer friends through older friends, and as such, that the newer friend should not exist without the older friend and must therefore be released first.

The title text appears to be referencing related issue affecting {{w|database|databases}} used on websites such as social networking sites. When an account is deactivated, the database entries for users that were friends with the account may maintain a link to it. This would result in the database storing useless data, so a well-designed database might try to mitigate this. A well-written program accessing the database would be able to recognize that this data should be ignored. Since no user account would be directly dependent on the existence of another account, the accounts can safely be deleted without worrying about resource management as described earlier.

Ultimately, the inefficiency of a database containing useless data about deleted accounts is negligible, and in fact it may not even be worthwhile to take the time to update all the entries compared to how little time it would save when performing lookups. "Database linkage accumulation slowdown" really is a thing that [[Randall]] just made up. This may be a satire of popular fears of made-up technological problems, often held by those who are not technologically savvy.

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the frame:]
:The internet is filled with derelict accounts aggregating news about friends long forgotten.

:[Cueball sits at a desk, typing on a laptop.]
:Cueball: <nowiki>*</nowiki>Click*
:Computer (friend): Uhh, is everything OK?
:Cueball: <nowiki>*</nowiki>Click*
:Computer (another friend): Dude, what the hell?
:Cueball: <nowiki>*</nowiki>Click*

:[Caption below the frame:]
:When you find yourself drifting away from a community, remember to clean up after yourself by slowly unfriending everyone, one by one, in the reverse order that you added them.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Social networking]]

1207: AirAware

2022-05-04T18:43:22Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240654 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1207
| date = May 3, 2013
| title = AirAware
| image = airaware.png
| titletext = It ships with a version of Google Now that alerts you when it's too late to leave for your appointments.
}}

==Explanation==
Upon being asked by [[Cueball]], [[Black Hat]] reveals his new 'business', AirAware. He explains it uses a {{w|Quadrotor}} Unmanned Aerial Vehicle ({{w|UAV}}) that flies and records a person's daily schedule. If that person either deviates, forgets an appointment, or tells somebody incorrect information, the drone alerts the 'client' with an annoying "WRONG!".

Cueball is skeptical of the 'business plan' and questions its potential. Black Hat expands, saying that his intention is not personal profit, and he is simply releasing them himself. Cueball starts to argue that it is not a business, since there is no monetary gain, before being abruptly interrupted by the AirAware drone, declaring that his previous sentence was incorrect. This implies that Black Hat's business is not for profit; it's just another one of his sadistic schemes to torture people, and Cueball is his latest victim.

Although the Wikipedia page for {{w|business}} states that a business "may also be not-for-profit", this isn't really relevant, as 'making money' and 'making a profit' are different things. It would be better classified as a different type of organization, or even as a [[:Category:My Hobby|hobby]].

{{w|Google Now}} is software by Google, shipped with newer Android devices. It shows you important information when you need it, like traffic on your way to work or home and upcoming events from your calendar. It also reminds you when to leave in order to reach an appointment in time. In the title text, Black Hat has modified this to tell you when you're too ''late'' to get there, instead.

It can also refer to a [http://android.stackexchange.com/questions/92305/why-does-google-now-never-think-that-i-will-arrive-on-time bug in Google Now], which is that Google Now incorrectly calculates the time you have to leave, and it always calculates that what it calculated will be 1 minute too late, so it shows "The transportation mode you selected will not let you arrive on time" almost always, unless you refresh.

An alternate explanation for the pronouncement of "WRONG!" by the quadcopter in the last panel is that it is referring to the plethora of companies in the electronic era, and even today, that don't actually make much (or any) money, but are still considered successful businesses.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Black Hat looking at a remote-controlled flying object.]
:Cueball: What's that?
:Black Hat: It's a drone for my new business, ''AirAware''.

:Black Hat (narrating): Our UAVs follow you and learn your schedule. If you miss a turn, forget an appointment, or give someone inaccurate information, they alert you.
:Megan (on phone): I'll be there in five.
:Booming voice from the sky: <big>'''''WRONG!'''''</big>
:Megan: Augh!

:Cueball: That sounds annoying. Who would ''pay'' for that?
:Black Hat: Huh? Nobody pays. I'm just making these and releasing them.

:Cueball: That's not a business. You're just yelling at strangers from the sky.
:Cueball: A business has to make money somehow.
:Booming voice from the sky: <big>'''''WRONG!'''''</big>
:Cueball: Augh!!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Drones]]

1204: Detail

2022-05-04T18:43:10Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 241152 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1204
| date = April 26, 2013
| title = Detail
| image = detail.png
| titletext = 2031: Google defends the swiveling roof-mounted scanning electron microscopes on its Street View cars, saying they 'don't reveal anything that couldn't be seen by any pedestrian scanning your house with an electron microscope.'
}}
[[File:Google_maps_auto.jpg|thumb|upright=1.5| Google Streetview car in Amsterdam, Netherlands. (from Wikimedia Commons)]]
==Explanation==
{{w|Google Earth}} is a mapping software service provided by {{w|Google}} that allows people to view the Earth from above. If zoomed in to maximum magnification, one can obtain clear views of individual streets and homes.

An image's {{w|Optical resolution|resolution}} is the smallest length detectable in that image. In terms of Google Earth, this refers to the real-life distance corresponding to one pixel in an aerial image. [[Randall]] points out that the level of detail in Google Earth's images has been increasing exponentially since its introduction, as aerial imaging technology improves and better ways of collecting the data are found. Each tick in the scale represents a resolution improvement by 1000 times.

In {{w|quantum mechanics}}, the {{w|Planck length}} is (in layman's terms) the smallest measurable distance, defined as approximately 1.6×10−35 meters, or around 1020 times smaller than the diameter of a proton. As the graph indicates, this may be called the "resolution" of the universe.

Randall extrapolates the exponential trend of Google Earth's increasing resolution, 'revealing' that by the year 2120 or so, Google Earth's resolution will approach and even possibly exceed the Planck length, an obviously fanciful and impossible idea. Current laboratory instruments cannot even get close to measuring the Planck length, barely able to reach the level of the atom. (Which, by the chart's prediction, will be surpassed by Google Earth at around 2040.)

Other comics exploring unwarranted extrapolation include [[605: Extrapolating]], [[1007: Sustainable]] and [[1281: Minifigs]].

The title text refers to controversy that Google received at one point regarding their use of vehicle-mounted {{w|Google Street View|Street View}} cameras to take images of streets and houses, and how such photography could constitute an invasion of privacy. Google defended itself by stating that the cameras can see nothing more than a pedestrian walking by. Given the trendline in this comic however, Google would need to produce resolution in the nanometer range by 2031, which (using today's technology) would require the use of {{w|scanning electron microscope}}s. The same 'invasion of privacy' defense would obviously not work here, as 1) current scanning electron microscopes in labs can only be used with small specimens at very close range, and are completely unsuitable for observing something as large as a house or for observations from a passing car, and 2) most pedestrians are not equipped with scanning electron microscopes.{{Citation needed}}

==Transcript==
:My Neighborhood's Resolution in:
:[A two-axis graph with years from 2000 to 2100 plotted on the x-axis and resolution from 1 meter to the Planck length plotted on a logarithmic scale on the y-axis. Three points in a line close to (~2010, 1 meter) are plotted at the bottom left of the graph; they have a strong positive correlation. Two trendlines are drawn on the graph; one is labeled "Earth" and remains constant at the Planck length over time; the other is labeled "Google Earth" and connects the aforementioned three points, extending upward in a straight line and approaching the Planck length around 2100. Both trendlines break up into question marks before the point they would intersect.]

==Trivia==
* An earlier version of this comic misspelled "neighborhood" as "neghborhood". This has since been corrected.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Extrapolation]]
[[Category:Google Maps]]

1203: Time Machines

2022-05-04T18:42:58Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240546 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1203
| date = April 24, 2013
| title = Time Machines
| image = time machines.png
| titletext = 'All time machine systems nominal... T-minus ten... eleven ...'
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] activates a time machine to go back into the past. The time machine rewinds time, but in the process rewinds the event where the time machine itself was turned on, turning the time machine off in the process. He is now a few seconds in the past, prior to having activated the time machine, but he is baffled that he does not seem to have accomplished anything and turned off the time machine unintentionally. It would seem that the time machine is the world's most technologically-advanced "{{w|useless machine}}" (a device whose only purpose is to switch itself off when it is switched on).

The title text mimics a countdown to an event. "T minus 10," for example, means 10 seconds until the event. When the event is the activation of a time machine traveling back in time, after 10 seconds it will once again be "T minus 10," and a second later it will be "T minus 11," counting up rather than down. This casts doubt on the value of the countdown because, from the perspective of the time traveler, the event has already taken place.

Cueball is only able to travel back in time a few seconds because in this comic time is seen as continuous and linear from Cueball's point of view, so he can only travel back in time to the moment he activated the machine (the first series of "E"s is the machine warming up and the second series of "E"s is that in reverse) the logic behind this is that because time appears to be continuous, Cueball's input was required for the machine to work. Since it does not appear to be a traveling vessel, it is also possible that Cueball could trap himself in the past by traveling to a time before the machine was created, and it would remain in the present.

==Transcript==
:[Small caption above the first panel:]
:The problem with time machines:
:[Cueball has his hands on the lever of a time machine.]

:[Cueball flips the switch from OFF to ON.]
:Switch: ''Click''
:Time machine: EEEEEEEEEE

:Time machine: EEEEEEEEEE
:Switch: ''Click''
:[Cueball flips the switch from ON to OFF.]

:[Cueball looks at his palms.]
:Cueball: ???

==Trivia==
This comic's title is very similar to [[716: Time Machine]].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Time travel]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Time Machine]]

1202: Girls and Boys

2022-05-04T18:42:43Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 241119 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1202
| date = April 22, 2013
| title = Girls and Boys
| image = girls and boys.png
| titletext = To get more knowledge
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a play on the popular [https://onsizzle.com/i/girls-go-to-college-to-get-more-knowledge-boys-go-1121310 school-yard taunt], "Girls go to college, to get more knowledge; boys go to Jupiter, to get more stupider," also commonly heard as "Boys go to Mars, to get more candy bars; girls go to Jupiter, to get more stupider." The words "boys" and "girls" may be interchanged, depending on the gender of the person chanting. The schoolyard taunt embodies the competitiveness and separation commonly seen between young boys and girls, and ideas about the superiority of one's gender.

It should be noted that, historically, most higher education was preferentially or exclusively reserved for men, but that changed rapidly over the course of the 20th century. By the late 1970s more women than men were enrolling in college, and that trend has only increased, to the point where women make up nearly 60% of undergraduate students in American colleges and universities. This is an issue of substantial concern, because it reflects national trends in men failing to achieve academically. This comic may be pointing out that this gendered competition, which is often inculcated from an early age, is counter-productive, because it focuses on one gender succeeding at the expense of the other. In truth, human achievement is maximized when both men and women are given opportunities to gain skills and succeed.

The comic subverts the original rhyme by having both girls ([[Megan]]) and boys ([[Cueball]]) go to college to gain knowledge, and then using that knowledge to go to {{w|Jupiter}} as part of a {{w|space program}}, working in cooperation with other men (another Cueball-like guy) and women ([[Ponytail]]).

Going "to Jupiter, to get more stupider" is ironic considering that human beings have not yet even gone to Mars, so to go to Jupiter would take a huge amount of knowledge, investment, and further development of current technology. Likewise, people in space programs going to Jupiter would have advanced degrees, a great deal of knowledge, and a motivation to seek out more knowledge. Space programs and going to Jupiter would require the cooperation of many different people, men and women included, rather than the divisive atmosphere of the schoolyard.

The title text points out that by going to Jupiter you would ''get more knowledge'', which is generally the purpose of any space program; that is, the purpose is to advance science, and it wouldn't actually be dumb at all. Therefore, the task of going to Jupiter is absolutely dependent on going to college, cooperation, and getting more knowledge; entirely the opposite of what the schoolyard taunt suggests.

==Transcript==
:[Megan facing left is sitting on a stool at a table while studying. She is bent over her paper writing on it, while her laptop is standing open on top of two books lying in front of her. In front of her, just inside the panel to the left is the back and neck of another student sitting on a chair visible, with only the rear leg and back of the chair shown. Behind her just inside the panel to the right is the front end of another table, one leg visible, and here lies a pile of paper, as tall as the two books. Two frames above Megan narrates the poem:]
:Girls go to college
:To get more knowledge

:[Cueball facing right, is sitting on a chair at a table also studying. He is holding a piece of paper up in one hand head turned toward it. His other hand holds a page, with text shown as thin lines, in the open book lying in front of him. His laptop is standing open behind the book. In front of him, just inside the panel to the right is the back and arms of another student sitting on a chair visible, with only the rear leg and back of the chair shown. Behind him just inside the panel to the left is the front end of another table, one leg visible, and here lies a pile of four books. Two frames above Cueball narrates the poem:]
:Boys go to college
:To get more knowledge

:[Space launch control room with Megan and Cueball standing in the middle of the room working together. Megan sitting behind a table with a rectangular item on top, holds a model of the capsule that goes on the top of a space craft in her hand pointing to it with the other hand while Cueball standing to the right gestures at the model as well. To the left sits Ponytail in an office chair, she is wearing a head-set and sits in front of screen, just inside the panel, she seems to be controlling something, but no keyboard is visitable. Above her is another screen attached to the wall (off-panel). The the right there sits a Cueball-like guy on a chair, who is also working on some screen, which is mainly off-panel as is the front of his head. On the wall behind there hangs two pictures. The first shows the curve of a white planet against black space, two continents or clouds visible. There is an insert in the top left corner with a small drawing, and some text or number (unreadable) in the top right corner. The other picture seems to show a space craft with two large solar panels, white on the black black background of space. Has some similarities to the international space station. There are four white lines representing text labels pointing to different parts. One frame at the top narrates the poem:]
:Girls and boys

:[A large gray rocket with two lifter rockets, one on each side, launch into the black night, rising up with white fire out the end on top of a huge pile of gray exhaust smoke, that billows out filling the entire width at the ground level, where gray lines stars out on the black ground. A white rectangle right above the tip of the rocket narrates the poem (which first ends in the title text):]
:Go to Jupiter

==Trivia==

Going to Jupiter was most famously explored in the film {{w|2001: A Space Odyssey (film)|2001}} and its sequel {{w|2010: Odyssey Two|2010}}, where a space ship lands on the moon {{w|Europa (moon)|Europa}}. The film {{w|Outland (film)|Outland}} is set on a mining operation on Jupiter's moon {{w|Io (moon)|Io}}.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Space]]

1201: Integration by Parts

2022-05-04T18:42:34Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240539 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1201
| date = April 19, 2013
| title = Integration by Parts
| image = integration by parts.png
| titletext = If you can manage to choose u and v such that u = v = x, then the answer is just (1/2)x², which is easy to remember. Oh, and add a '+C' or you'll get yelled at.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Integration by parts}} is an integration strategy that is used to evaluate difficult {{w|integrals}} by trying to find simpler integrals derived from the original. It is commonly a source of confusion or irritation for students when they first learn it, due to the fact that there is really no way to accurately predict the proper u/dv separation just by looking at an integral. Integration by parts requires patience, trial and error, and experience.

[[Randall]] shows a somewhat complicated math problem and, in an attempt to "help", simplifies it into a more compact integral. This is the first part of performing integration by parts, which involves the guessing. Having gotten it into integration by parts format, he then leaves without describing the actual solution. The general integral '''''∫'''(u dv)'' is equal to ''uv - '''∫'''(v du)'', and this is the more tedious part of the math and where problems will arise if you picked the wrong u and dv at the beginning. The narrator makes a point of leaving here, so we can't ask for help or complain if the choice of u and dv was wrong.

The title text points out that if the integral of x can be divided so that u = x and dv = dx and implying v = x, then it leads to the result (1/2)x². This implies the original integral was just ∫x dx, and not needing integration by parts in the first place. Mathematics teachers and extreme math geeks will also cringe at this answer, however, since an {{w|indefinite integral}} requires an integration constant. The correct answer is actually (1/2)x² + C, as Randall hints. The +C symbolizes that an indefinite integral can be shifted by any constant and still gets the same answer on the reverse {{w|derivative}}. {{w|Integral|Definite integrals}} specify a range that they're valid on and thus there is no need to add this constant.

==Transcript==
:A Guide to
:Integration by Parts:

:Given a problem of the form:
::∫f(x)g(x)dx=?
:Choose variables u and v such that
::u=f(x)
::dv=g(x)dx
:Now the expression becomes:
::∫udv=?
:Which ''definitely'' looks easier.
:Anyway, I gotta run.
:But good luck!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Analysis]]
[[Category:Sarcasm]]

1195: Flowchart

2022-05-04T18:42:16Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 241166 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1195
| date = April 5, 2013
| title = Flowchart
| image = flowchart.png
| titletext = The way out is to use the marker you have to add a box that says 'get a marker' to the line between you and 'start', then add a 'no' line from the trap box to 'end'.
}}

== Explanation ==
{{w|Flowcharts}} are diagrams used to show the logical flow of an {{w|algorithm}}, process, or program. Flowcharts are a [[:Category:Flowcharts|recurring theme]] in [[xkcd]]. In this comic, [[Randall]] uses the fact that flowcharts can indeed be used to show a loop in the procedure: in this case, the reader will theoretically become trapped in a loop of reading the text in the diamond, following the line marked "YES," and ending back up in the diamond. Those familiar with flowcharts will notice though that, while diamonds usually contain decision questions (which can be answered multiple ways), the diamond here actually includes a statement instead.

The title text contains a suggested solution to the loop: the way to escape the loop is to use a marker and add an additional "NO" arrow proceeding from the diamond to a rounded box labelled "END" before you start the algorithm at "START." This suggests that the decision question in the diamond could more properly be phrased as "Is this flowchart a trap?" However, to follow this suggestion, you would need to actually have the marker that you are about to write instructions to go get. Thus, you must also add the instruction "get a marker" somewhere before the flowchart actually begins (before "START"), so that you actually have the marker by the time you get to the flowchart in the comic. And since you did not have a marker and could thus not write this way out, you are still trapped!

Of course, the reader could disregard the algorithm, but this would break the conventions of following the flowchart. This is perhaps part the comic's purpose - to suggest that a problem cannot be solved from within the confines of its own conventions.

Randall has made use of [[:Category:Flowcharts|flowcharts]] before, and previously released another comic named [[518: Flow Charts]].

== Transcript ==
:[A flow chart is shown with two boxes and two arrows. The first box rectangular:]
:Start

:[From the first box there is a short arrow straight down to a diamond shaped box:]
:Hey, wait, this flowchart is a trap!

:[An arrow continues down below from the bottom corner of the diamond box, where there is labeled, and quickly it turns left (in the direction of the arrow), going out under the diamond and then turns left two more times to end up on the right corner of the same box where the arrow points back again.]
:Yes

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics sharing name|Flowcharts02]]
[[Category:Flowcharts]]

1193: Externalities

2022-05-04T18:42:04Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 241128 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1193
| date = April 1, 2013
| title = Externalities
| image = externalities.png
| titletext = Mouse over words and things to see where they come from.
}}
{{incomplete|While a good start with the explanation of Baidu, the article should give an explanation of the comic in its current state. The different versions during the competition should be its own section. Also, update image to include text.}}
{{TOC}}
==Explanation==
This was the fourth [[:Category:April fools' comics|April fools' comic]] released by [[Randall]]. The previous fools comic was
[[1037: Umwelt]] from Sunday April 1st 2012. The next was [[1350: Lorenz]] released on Tuesday April 1st 2014.

This comic isn't a static image - even the title text changes depending on which part of the image you're hovering over. It presented a competition for students to see who could come closest to breaking a {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}} but also an aid appeal for the Wikimedia Foundation.

There are quite a few references in the comic to {{w|Baidu}}. Baidu is a large Chinese {{w|Internet}} services company that employs thousands, whose shares are publicly traded on world stock exchanges. It's the predominant Internet search provider of China, and is sometimes called the "Google of China". It offers parallels for the Chinese market of many of the services that Google provides and offers its own encyclopedic wiki with a restricted edit policy to serve as a replacement for Wikipedia. Wikipedia reports that Baidu's search engine handled 56% of Chinese internet search queries in Q4 2010. and that in October 2012, Baidu ranked 5th overall in the Alexa Internet rankings. Given that explanation for the Baidu references in #1193 is still solicited for explainxkcd, Baidu apparently is not well known yet among savvy XKCD readers.
Baidu Search results reputedly follow the censorship dictates of the Chinese authorities, causing it to return censored responses to searches for politically sensitive terms like "Tianamen Square massacre" or "Falun Gong" when executed by web browsers that are connected via Chinese ISPs. When you execute such searches via Baidu in the US, the top links returned for these topics do seem to reflect Chinese government sensibilities although the uncensored English language Wikipedia articles for these topics are listed high in the query results. Baidu's reputation for censorship provides background for Megan's reply "but nothing about Tianamen Square" in response to the "Come and find your future at Baidu" employment enticement of panel one and also provides the background to understand the "It takes great minds to stifle other great minds" slogan of the second panel.

The blank regions in the above image are dynamically generated from various sources.
*The university that is being recruited changes depending on which university is winning the hash finding competition in the fifth panel.
*The company doing the recruiting is randomly selected from a pool of companies. It was formerly the first NASDAQ-100 company mentioned on a varying Wikipedia page.
*The text in the second panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Second Panel|this section]].
*The text in the third panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Third Panel|this section]].
*The text in the fourth panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Fourth Panel|this section]].
*The text in the fifth panel [[1193: Externalities#Fifth Panel|changes]], depending on which university is currently in third place in a hash finding competition. Clicking on the panel takes you to [http://almamater.xkcd.com/ a webpage] where people can enter their school's domain name and hash data, and ranks schools on how close their students can come to matching a Skein 1024 1024 hash value.
*The text in the top half of the sixth panel may vary. See [[1193: Externalities#Sixth Panel|this section]]. The second half of the panel is always the same.
*The last panel varies with the amount donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via [https://donate.wikimedia.org/?utm_medium=socialmedia&utm_campaign=xkcd_april1 this link]. For past images, see [[1193: Externalities#Seventh Panel|this section]].

===Hashing Competition===
For the two days until comic 1194 appeared, a competition was underway to see who could come closest to breaking a {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}}. The first text line of the first panel contains a link to http://almamater.xkcd.com. This page contained the text:

:Currently looking for Skein 1024 1024 input matching
<pre>5b4da95f5fa08280fc9879df44f418c8f9f12ba424b7757de02bbdfbae0d4c4fdf9317c80cc5fe04c6429073466cf29706b8c25999ddd2f6540d4475cc977b87f4757be023f19b8f4035d7722886b78869826de916a79cf9c94cc79cd4347d24b567aa3e2390a573a373a48a5e676640c79cc70197e1c5e7f902fb53ca1858b6</pre>

On this page, users were invited to enter "Your school's domain name" — presumably intended to be their college alma mater. (At least in the beginning, only a few top-level domains were accepted.) If the user entered an acceptable domain (by xkcd's rules, which apparently changed during the 48 hours of the competition), they could then enter data values one at a time. For each data value entered, xkcd returned a hash value and the number of bits by which it differed from the target value. The object was to achieve the lowest possible number of differing bits, ideally zero.

A ranking page showed the lowest value achieved for each domain name entered, but not the data that achieved it. The first name on the list was substituted in various panels, and the third-place school showed in panel five. No data values were reported by xkcd, but various results were posted by users of the xkcd forums and on other websites, leading to copycat submissions, so that occasionally large numbers of institutions would show the same moderately low value.

After the end of the contest, the data submission page vanished, replaced by the final list of rankings, which shows that Carnegie Mellon University achieved the best score with 384 bits incorrect out of 1024. The rankings only show a few hundred out of the several thousand domains submitted—presumably Randall chose to chop the copycat submissions off the end of the list, retaining only honestly obtained results.

===First Panel===
In some cases, Megan's reply seems to correspond to the company.
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you applied to [company] yet?
:Megan: The recruiter hasn't emailed me back in over three minutes.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you applied to [company] yet?
:Megan: The recruiter hasn't emailed me back in over an hour!
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: I'm not that good at math.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: What do they even do?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: I don't like monopolies.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Only in my darkest moments.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Be part of the Apple experience!
:Megan: I'm not really a fan of turtlenecks.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work at Microsoft!
:Megan: I only came to this tech talk for the xbox giveaway.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Y U No Work Yahoo?
:Megan: I like working from home!
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Become a partner at Starbucks!
:Megan: But green's not my colour.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work in the Amazon!
:Megan: I don't have to actually move to South America, do I?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Not after that presentation.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Thought about working for Intel?
:Megan: I'm not that great at division.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Dude, you should work at Dell!
:Megan: That catchphrase is so old.
|-
|
:Ahoy, carnegie melonites!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Not after that presentation.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you looked for a job at Kraft Foods?
:Megan: I'm allergic to sugar
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:How about working for Whole Foods?
:Megan: Could I afford the food if I did?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work at EBay!
:Megan: Maybe if they made a good bid.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work for Activision... er... Blizzard... er...
:Megan: Activision Blizzard?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students! <nowiki>|</nowiki> Ahoy. Carnegie Melonites!
:Come find your future at Baidu!
:Megan: But nothing about Tiananmen Square.
|}

===Second Panel===
The text in the second panel is based on the company in the first panel:
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:When the Singularity happens, it will happen here.
:Ponytail: [Company] has outgrown us.
:Men: It is time.
|-
|
:Think of ways to make things smaller and smaller!
:Ponytail: I'm worried mine is too big.
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:Think of ways to make things smaller and smaller!
:Ponytail: But will it blend?
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:You'll be part of a dynamic research team envisioning the future.
:Ponytail: It probably looks cool.
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:You'll be creating the future of commerce platforms!
:Ponytail: More recommendations.
:Men: Yep.
|-
|
:You'll be an insignificant cog in our giant machine
:Ponytail: We should improve Notepad
:Men: Nah
|-
|
:We can't tell you what you'll be working on.
:Ponytail: [Confidential]
:Men: [Redacted]
|-
|
:You'll be an insignificant cog in our giant machine
:Ponytail: Needs more Bob.
:Men: Nah
|-
|
:You'll help set the future of the company
:Ponytail: Wait. You hired a college grad as the CFO?
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:At Qualcomm, we know you're born mobile.
:Ponytail: Born mobile!
:Men: Texting!
|-
|
:Short or tall, we've got a grande job for you!
:Ponytail: How many job openings are there?
:Men: Ele-venti or so.
|-
|
:You'll help direct the future of nutrition
:Ponytail: Microwaveable toast
:Men: Delicious
|-
|
:Help us find and provide the best healthy, local, and sustainable products.
:Ponytail: Hey guys, how about kale cookies?
:Men: Sounds great!
|-
|
:We're the Classmates.com to Facebook's Craigslist.
:Ponytail: Maybe we should use game theory.
:Men: Why Bother?
|-
|
:Whatever. Come create the future of gaming!
:Ponytail: Call of Duty 14.
:Men: That's genius!
|-
|
:It takes great minds to stifle other great minds.
:Ponytail: Let's block Canada
:Men: Sounds good.
|}

===Third Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:We're a convenient four hour drive from New York City (15,000 hours by Roomba)
|-
|
:Only a short commuter flight away!
|-
|
:Travel to us by Roomba, we're *that* close!
|-
|
:We're so close you can get to us by Roomba.
|-
|
:Free Roomba rides every morning while you have coffee.
|-
|
:Your Roomba comes in black & slate, or white & silver
|-
|
:Just a short Roomba ride up the coast, try not to fall off.
|-
|
:We know what everyday life is like for your generation:
|}

===Fourth Panel===
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
|
:Our recruiting team is on the lookup for promising young [university] graduates.
|-
|
:We hired a new recruiting startup to help us hire [university] students.
|-
|
:We borrowed the botanical gardens' net to catch promising recruits.
|-
|
:We prefer to recruit from [university] students, of course.
|-
|
:Our recruiters are on the hunt for unaware [university] graduates.
|}

===Fifth Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:Or students from [university], if they're clever with their applications
|-
|
:Possibly [university] grads, if their form-filling startup works out.
|-
|
:Or [university] graduates, provided any of them manage to fill out the application correctly.
|-
|
:Or [university] graduates, if they manage to fill out the application correctly.
|}

The text in the form varies independently of the text at the top, sometimes related to the organization in 3rd place:

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
!Organization
!Name
!Email
!Education
!(Explanation)
|-
|MIT
|Oliver Smoot
|pgp encrypted
|have you ever really looked at the fourier
|As an undergrad at MIT in 1948, Smoot was used to measure the Harvard Bridge during a fraternity prank. This led to the introduction of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smoot "smoot"] as an unusual unit of length.
|-
|
|Wheeeee
|ford.com
|stealing lunches from startups
|-
|CMU
|leeroy jenkins
|me@car
|I can cut up melons
| Le(e)roy Jenkins is an internet meme originating from a 2006 'Let's Play' video of World of Warcraft
|-
|CMU
|pittsburgh
|me@car
|I can cut up melons
|-
|
|SEGMENTATION FAULT
|save trees
|Contra dancing.
|-
|Cambridge
|I'm applying
|cam.gov
|on going problems with birds
|-
|
|certainly
|elephant
|An excellent year in the Sahara
|-
|Stanford
|Stanford
|ford.com
|Stealing lunches from startups
|-
|Stanford
|Yes Please
|@twitter
|Are you Stanford?
|-
|
|Applying
|For a job
|I would like to work at you
|-
|St.Olaf
|Me olaf
|You Helga
|Hunting wooly mammoths
|-
|Ohio State
|Oh!
|IO
|O HAI O
| A joke on the pronunciation of Ohio.
|-
|
|FOLLOWBACK
|TOTALLY.EDU.US
|CONVENIENT US DOMAIN REDIRECTS
| .edu is a website suffix mostly used for (American) university websites.
|-
|
|Mancher
|Outlook
|Made a collage out of macaroni
|-
|Stanford
|Yes Please
|ford.com
|Are you Stanford?
|-
|Michigan
|ANN
|SOUTH DETROIT
|HUNT LIKE A WOLVERINE
|University of Michigan is in Ann Arbor; the mascot is the Wolverine. "South Detroit" is referenced in the song {{w|Don't Stop Believin'}}, which is notable because there is actually no such city or neighborhood; rather, Detroit is one of the only places in the contiguous United States where you can drive south and wind up in Canada, namely in the city of {{w|Windsor, Ontario}}. Michiganders therefore often object to the bad geography in the song.
|-
|
|christopher
|POBox 12532
|p.s. ill find my frog
|PO Box 12532 is located at Pyramid Lake in Nevada.
|-
|Oxford
|Bond, James
|Righto
|We're better than Cambridge
|-
|
|Which one
|Forget it
|Riding the L all night long
|-
|Kit
|Kat
|Oh dear
|Something something sleep
|-
|Google
|My G+ handle?
|Any
|I'm feeling lucky
|G+ stands for Google+, Googles social network. I'm feeling lucky is the second option under the searchbar on Google.
|-
|UIC
|Which one
|Forget it
|Riding the L all night long
|Presumably University of Illinois at Chicago. "Which one" could be a reference to other institutions with the same initials, or people who confuse "UIC" with "U of C" (University of Chicago, a different institution altogether). The rapid transit system in Chicago is called the 'L'.
|-
|MY JOB NOW
|@
|SAVE DOCUMENT AND SEND
| Could be Randall saying most jobs are just sending e-mails (@).
|}

===Sixth Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:At [company], you'll work at a scale you won't find anywhere else
|-
|
:Explore the depths of expensive and undocumented tools!
|-
|
:At Apple, we believe in pushing the boundary of perfection.
|-
|
:At Microsoft, you just need to relax and embrace the machine
|-
|
:Yahoo management aren't just suits. We code too!
|-
|
:At [company], you'll have the opportunity to work on cutting-edge projects.
|-
|
:At Amazon, you'll be shaving the most cutting-edge of yaks.
|-
|
:You get to bid first on any auction, and use other experimental tools!
|-
|
:At QUALCOMM, Device driver code quality is job #1
|-
|
:Make use of our powerful in-house game creation tools.
|-
|
:We're even working on some experimental biotechnology
|}

===Seventh Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|[[File:externality-dog1.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog2.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog2A.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog3.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog4.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog5.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog6.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog7.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog8.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog9.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog10.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog12.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog13.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog14.png]]
|}

===Title Text===
The title text documents the different sources of data in the comic. The different title texts are:

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
!Comic region
!Title text
|-
|Most of the comic, during the competition.||Mouse over words and things to see where they come from.
|-
|Most of the comic, after the competition ended||This comic went up on April 1st, and the panels changed throughout the day in response to readers doing things like breaking hashes, edited a rapidly-shuffling set of target Wikipedia articles, and donating to Wikimedia Foundation. (The vandalism is over now and CMU won the hashing contest.)
|-
|The part of the first panel (text and drawing) which is not a link. There is no title text at all over the part where the link is active||Happy April 1st, Everyone!
|-
|Fifth panel.||[University] has the third best hash. See the full standings at http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv (University = uic after competition)
|-
|Last three panels (only within a frame that would just fit around all three of them).||The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the wikimedia foundation via this link. Currently at [amount donated] (Amount = $51135.33 after competition).
|}

==Transcript==
:[This was a dynamic image where the text changed during April 1st. The main title text also changed after the dynamic part was finished, and there are even different title text for different part of the comic. This transcript is of the final version of the comic, (no longer dynamic or changing), as displayed at present on xkcd, there are still four different title texts for specific panels. These four title text are for that reason included here in the transcript.]

:[The basic title text for the entire comic is: "This comic went up on April 1st, and the panels changed throughout the day in response to readers doing things like breaking hashes, edited a rapidly-shuffling set of target Wikipedia articles, and donating to Wikimedia Foundation. (The vandalism is over now and CMU won the hashing contest.)" The other three title text are only active over certain panels.]

:[The first panel with the caption and Megan below has it's own title text. A part of that panel is a link, and in the section where this link is active there is no title text at all. The title text for the rest of the first panel is: "Happy April 1st, everyone!"]

:[A panel with only text is above the first drawing. There is a link on the top part of the text to <nowiki>http://almamater.xkcd.com/</nowiki> (the link is now broken).]
:Ahoy, carnegie melonites!
:
:Come find your future at Baidu.

:[Below, not in a frame, is Megan.]
:Megan: But nothing about Tiananmen Square.

:[Caption floating above the frame of the next panel:]
:It takes great minds to stifle other great minds.
:[Ponytail sits at a desk, hand to her chin, with two Cueball-like guys with their hands on the table.]
:Ponytail: Let's block Canada
:Cueball-like guys: Sounds good.

:[Ponytail crouches on a moving Roomba (labeled) with a steaming mug of coffee in one hand and a smartphone in the other. Above her is a caption. The Roomba makes a noice]
:We're a convenient four hour drive from New York City (15,000 hours by Roomba.)
:''Whirrrrrrr''
:Roomba

:[Ponytail and Hairy corners Cueball as he walks out of a door, and a black haired ponytailed girl is moving towards him wielding a giant butterfly net. There is a caption above them:]
:Our recruiters are on the hunt for unaware CMU graduates

:[The fifth panel has it's own title text only active within (or very close to) the frame. It is: "uic has the third best hash. See the full standings at <nowiki>http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv</nowiki>" (The link is now broken)]

:[There is a caption above a website application. There is three fields to be filled, with each their caption and text:]
:or uic graduates, provied any of them manage to fill out the application correctly.
::Name which one
::Email forget it
::Education Riding the L all night long

:[Caption floating above the frame of the next panel:]
:At Baidu, Inc., you'll have the opportunity to work on cutting-edge projects.
:[Cueball sits at a computer.]
:Cueball: What does "make dog" do?
:Off-screen voice: Experimental dog generator. Don't click on it; the default size isn't set, so-
:'''*click*'''

:[The last three panels has their own title text, only active within a frame that could contain all three panel. Outside that "frame" (all the way around) is the other title text. Within the title text is: "The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via this link. Currently at $51135.33."]

:[Small insert panel, going in above the next larger panel: Cueball stares at the screen.]
:''Kzzzt''
:''*bip*''
:Off-screen voice: Uh oh.

:[A giant dog looks down at the desk where the computer once was, now only the wires are left. Cueball, leaning way back in his office chair, holding his hand to his mouth, stares up at it.]

:[Again a smaller insert panel above the large one with the dog. A graphic showing two sliders and a dog (similar to the one in the previous panel). Next to the dog with arrows pointing to it are a thermometer graphic and an equation. Below is an e-mail type text and finally a caption. There are arrows over and under "God" and "dogs" between the g and d's.]
:d(x)=R
:careers@baidu, Inc.
:'''Play God with dogs.'''TM

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:April fools' comics]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Dogs]]
[[Category:Roomba]]
[[Category:Butterfly net]]
[[Category:Singularity]]

1191: The Past

2022-05-04T18:41:53Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240771 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1191
| date = March 27, 2013
| title = The Past
| image = the past.png
| titletext = If history has taught us anything, we can use that information to destroy it.
}}

==Explanation==
"The past is a foreign country, they do things differently there" is the opening line of "{{w|The Go-Between}}", a novel by {{w|L. P. Hartley|Leslie Poles Hartley}} (1895–1972), published in London in 1953. [[Black Hat]] notes that a country's past military tends to be less advanced than its current one, and that countries in the past had larger oil reserves as they had consumed less oil then.

If a country from the past existed in its old state today, other countries would likely leap at the opportunity to exploit its oil reserves.

Or: Black Hat could be considering sending the modern troops of a country from today back in time to rob the oil from the countries in the past. It could be profitable to invent a time machine for just that.

"Mozart in Mirrorshades" is a short story by Bruce Sterling and Lewis Shiner, which features the use of time travel to exploit earlier eras' natural resources.

Also, in the {{w|Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy}} series, time has been exploited to use as energy. They say: "The Past is like a foreign country. They do things exactly the same there."

The "If history has taught us anything" phrase is used to start several quotes:
:"If history has taught us anything, Arthur muses, it is that men with mustaches must never achieve positions of power." - Tom Rachman, The Imperfectionists
:"If anything in this life is certain, if history has taught us anything, it is that you can kill anyone." - Michael Corleone, The Godfather
The title text starts by fitting the usual pattern of this phrase, but in the second half humorously subverts it. It extends the "past as a foreign country" metaphor by implying that lessons learned from history can count as military intelligence to use against it.

A more recent movie, Christopher Nolan's {{w|Tenet (film)}}, also deals with destroying the past.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Black Hat talking.]
:Cueball: Well, you know what they say. The past is a foreign country-
:Black Hat: -With an outdated military and huge oil reserves!
:Black Hat: ''Hmmm...''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]

1188: Bonding

2022-05-04T18:41:42Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 241077 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1188
| date = March 20, 2013
| title = Bonding
| image = bonding.png
| titletext = I'm trying to build character, but Eclipse is really confusing.
}}

==Explanation==
This is {{w|source code}} written in the {{w|Java (programming language)|Java programming language}} which models a parent and a child playing a {{w|Catch (game)|game of catch}}. Normally this game is played with the parent throwing a ball to their child, who catches it and throws it back, and repeated back-and-forth. The comic title "Bonding" refers to the {{w|Paternal bond|building of relationship}} between the parent and the child. The joke lies in the puns using the words <code>try</code>, <code>throw</code>, <code>catch</code>, and <code>Throwable</code>. These can refer to actions in the real-life game, but are also keywords in the Java language that are used for {{w|exception handling}}, a method of signaling error conditions and responding to them. Also, the terms "parent" and "child" are usually interpreted more abstractly in programming, as generic terms used in hierarchical {{w|Data structure|data structures}}.

The program, as written, will {{w|Recursion (computer science)|recursively}} call the <code>aim</code> method alternately on the parent and the child indefinitely, causing each to take turns throwing and catching the <code>Ball</code> object. Note that unlike the real game, this program actually has the same person both throwing and catch the same ball on their turn. The ball is passed onto the other person by ''aiming'' it at them, which causes the person to both throw and catch the ball, and ''aim'' it back, perpetuating the cycle. This program will also eventually crash with a {{w|stack overflow}} error.

The title text refers to the [http://www.eclipse.org/ Eclipse IDE], which is a tool commonly used to develop software in Java. "Building character" is something that you would expect a parent to do, in order to instill in his child positive traits, such as confidence and athleticism. This is possibly a reference to {{w|Calvin_and_Hobbes|Calvin and Hobbes}}, where Calvin's dad often encourages him to build character in a number of ways, including playing baseball. This is made more likely by other references combining technology with Calvin and Hobbes, such as xkcd comics [[409: Electric Skateboard (Double Comic)]], [[702: Snow Tracking]] and [[1002: Game AIs]]. However, here, "build" might also be a play on the term of "{{w|Software build|building}}" a program, while "{{w|Character_(computing)|character}}" refers to a data type in programming languages. It may also refer to the common notion that programming in C++ or Java builds character due to their powerful but sometimes finicky libraries.

===Program description===
To compile this {{w|Java_(programming_language)|Java}} source code, the two [http://docs.oracle.com/javase/tutorial/java/javaOO/classdecl.html classes] would need to be in a .java file.
The program defines two classes (types of objects):
#The Ball class [http://docs.oracle.com/javase/tutorial/java/IandI/subclasses.html extends] [http://docs.oracle.com/javase/7/docs/api/java/lang/Throwable.html Throwable], making it possible to use an instance of Ball in [http://docs.oracle.com/javase/tutorial/essential/exceptions/handling.html exception handling]. In English, this means "a Ball is a kind of Throwable object".
#The P class, representing a Person, which contains the following members (attributes):
#*a [http://docs.oracle.com/javase/tutorial/java/javaOO/variables.html class variable] 'target' to point to another P to aim a Ball at.
#*a [http://docs.oracle.com/javase/tutorial/java/javaOO/constructors.html constructor] 'P' (in Java the constructor always has the same name as the class) used to create an instance of P and initialize its state (with a target). The keyword [http://docs.oracle.com/javase/tutorial/java/javaOO/thiskey.html this] refers to the current instance of P.
#*a [http://docs.oracle.com/javase/tutorial/java/javaOO/methods.html method] 'aim' that takes an instance of Ball named 'ball' as a parameter. This contains the code to actually throw, catch, and pass the ball onto the target.
#*a [http://docs.oracle.com/javase/tutorial/java/javaOO/classvars.html static] method 'main' which is called when executing this class. This is the code that sets up the game and starts the process.

The program executes in the following order:
#The static main method is called. It sets up the game by doing the following:
##An instance of P named 'parent' is created without a target ({{w|Nullable_type|null}}) using the 'new' keyword.
##Another instance of P named 'child' is created with 'parent' as its target.
##The parent's target is assigned to be the child. Unlike with 'child', setting the parent's target could not be done at the moment when 'parent' was created because its target (the child) has not yet been created at the time. This is why the code for parent and child don't look alike despite this being a symmetrical setup.
#The game begins by having the parent aim a new instance of Ball.
#The aim method first sets up a [http://docs.oracle.com/javase/tutorial/essential/exceptions/try.html try] block to handle exceptions. A "try" block is required in Java in order to "catch" later.
#Next, the Ball instance 'ball' is [http://docs.oracle.com/javase/tutorial/essential/exceptions/throwing.html thrown]. This signals an exception situation and triggers the [http://docs.oracle.com/javase/tutorial/essential/exceptions/catch.html catch] block below.
#In the catch block, the aim method of the target of the P instance is called with the Ball instance (now referred to as 'b').
#The target now executes its own aim method, which is the same code continuing from step 3 except with the current class instance ('this') and its target switched between the parent and the child.

==Transcript==
class Ball extends Throwable {}
class P{
P target;
P(P target) {
this.target = target;
}
void aim (Ball ball) {
try {
throw ball;
}
catch (Ball b) {
target.aim(b);
}
}
public static void main(String[] args) {
P parent = new P(null);
P child = new P(parent);
parent.target = child;
parent.aim(new Ball());
}
}

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Programming]]

1185: Ineffective Sorts

2022-05-04T18:41:32Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 241184 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1185
| date = March 13, 2013
| title = Ineffective Sorts
| image = ineffective_sorts.png
| titletext = StackSort connects to StackOverflow, searches for 'sort a list', and downloads and runs code snippets until the list is sorted.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic gives examples of four non-functional {{w|sorting algorithm}}s written in {{w|Pseudocode|pseudo}}-{{w|Python (programming language)|Python}}.

The first sort is an unfinished {{w|merge sort}}. The merge sort works recursively by dividing a list in half and performing a merge sort to each half. After the two halves are sorted, they are merged, taking advantage of the fact that the two halves are now in correct order and thus the merge can be done efficiently. The author of the merge sort in the comic appears to have given up on writing the sorted-merge part of the sort, which is why it's a ''{{Wiktionary|half-hearted}}'' merge sort, but instead concatenates the halves without sorting. In its current state, the sort would divide the list into elements of size one, then recombine them in their original unsorted order, but in nested lists - making the original data more difficult to work with. The author acknowledges this failing with the comment "Ummmmm... Here. Sorry."

The second sort is an "optimized" variant of {{w|bogosort}}. A standard bogosort works by randomly shuffling the elements in the list until they are sorted. In a comment, the author points out that this variant of bogosort runs in O(n log(n)), whereas standard bogosorts actually have an expected runtime of O(n·n!) but may never finish. This variant of bogosort finishes so much faster because in most cases it does not actually sort the list, instead reporting a fictitious error in the operating system (a "kernel page fault") if the list isn't ordered after shuffling log(n) times. The bogosort is "optimized" because no comparison sort algorithm can possibly do better than O(n log(n)) in the worst case.

The third sort parodies a programmer explaining a {{w|quicksort}} during a job interview. The quicksort works by choosing an index as a pivot value and sorting all elements less than the pivot before the pivot and all the elements greater than the pivot after the pivot. It then does a quicksort to the section less than the pivot and the section greater than the pivot until the whole list is sorted. The interviewee flounders for a little while, then asks whether they can use the standard libraries to call a quicksort. The joke being, the standard library contains a quicksort, and the programmer would rather rely on that (possibly even pass it off as his own work) than his own example of quicksort. While it's commonly a good idea in real projects, this would surely count as a failure on interview.

The final sort is just a mess. First it checks to see if the list is sorted, and exits if it is. Then it rotates the list by a random amount 10,000 times (as if cutting a deck of cards) and exits if the list is ever sorted. Next, in desperation, it checks if the list is sorted three times. Finally, realizing that they have no chance of success, the author performs the computer equivalent of a {{tvtropes|RageQuit|Rage Quit}} and attempts to destroy the computer rather than admit defeat. First, the program attempts to schedule a shutdown of the computer in five seconds, then attempts to delete the current directory, then attempts to delete the user's home directory (presumably the grader's files), and finally all the files on the computer. {{w|rm (Unix)|rm}} is a POSIX command; the -r and -f flags mean that the remove command will remove all contents of the specified directories and will not prompt the user beforehand. Under the guise of "{{w|Software portability|portability}}", the program runs the equivalent Windows {{w|rmdir|rd}} command with switches to delete all files from the "C:" drive without prompting. Finally, the program returns a list containing the numbers one through five in order.

In the title text, {{w|StackOverflow}} ([https://stackoverflow.com/ link]) is a question-and-answer site where programmers can ask and answer questions on programming. The author of this code takes advantage of the hopes that someone on StackOverflow knows what they are doing and has posted code to sort a list... ''and somebody [https://github.com/gkoberger/stacksort/ implemented stacksort]; well, sort of.''

==Transcript==
:'''Ineffective sorts'''
define HalfheartedMergeSort(list):
if length(list)<2:
return list
pivot=int(length(list)/2)
a=HalfheartedMergeSort(list[:pivot])
b=HalfheartedMergeSort(list[pivot:])
// ummmmm
return [a,b] // Here. Sorry.

define FastBogoSort(list):
// An optimized BogoSort
// Runs in O(n log n)
for n from 1 to log(length(list)):
shuffle(list):
if isSorted(list):
return list
return "Kernel Page Fault (Error code: 2)"

define JobInterviewQuicksort(list):
Ok so you choose a pivot
Then divide the list in half
for each half:
check to see if it's sorted
no, wait, it doesn't matter
compare each element to the pivot
the bigger ones go in a new list
the equal ones go into, uh
the second list from before
hang on, let me name the lists
this is list A
the new one is list B
put the big ones into list B
now take the second list
call it list, uh, A2
which one was the pivot in?
scratch all that
it just recursively calls itself
until both lists are empty
right?
not empty, but you know what I mean
am I allowed to use the standard libraries?

define PanicSort(list):
if isSorted(list):
return list
for n from 1 to 10000:
pivot=random(0,length(list))
list=list[pivot:]+list[:pivot]
if isSorted(list):
return list
if isSorted(list):
return list:
if isSorted(list): //this can't be happening
return list
if isSorted(list): //come on come on
return list
// oh jeez
// i'm gonna be in so much trouble
list=[]
system("shutdown -h +5")
system("rm -rf ./")
system("rm -rf ~/*")
system("rm -rf /")
system("rd /s /q C:\*") //portability
return [1,2,3,4,5]

== Trivia ==

* [https://xkcd.com/about/ xkcd's ''about'' section] has an FAQ about sorting algorithms. It mentions both quicksort and job interviews.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Programming]]

1180: Virus Venn Diagram

2022-05-04T18:41:20Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240678 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1180
| date = March 1, 2013
| title = Virus Venn Diagram
| image = virus venn diagram.png
| titletext = Within five minutes of the Singularity appearing, somebody will suggest defragging it.
}}

==Explanation==
Randall uses an {{w|Euler diagram}} (technically not a {{w|Venn diagram}}) to make fun of clueless computer users. The circles in the diagram don't overlap, meaning problems that people suspect are caused by viruses are never really caused by viruses, and problems that are actually caused by viruses are never suspected by people to be caused by a virus.

When computers don't function as expected, a common response from ordinary users is "Maybe it has a {{w|Computer virus|virus}}?". However, most of these situations can be explained by faulty hardware (freezing, blue screen, etc.) or software (crashes, errors, apparent lack of response to input, etc.), a general lack of maintenance (too slow to start up, too much clutter on screen, etc.), or user error. A virus can potentially cause those symptoms, but it's much more common for them either to cause immediate and massive damage (rendering the computer completely unusable, wipe the disk, display obvious propaganda, etc.), or to remain stealthy with no obvious symptoms (logging keystrokes, exfiltrating sensitive information, receiving commands in the background, etc.). Of course there is no clear separation and there is always some overlap between the two scenarios, so the diagram is not meant to be taken literally.

The title text refers to the {{w|technological singularity}}, a hypothetical point in the future when {{w|superintelligence}} emerges in computers, so that they can build new computers with ever increasing intelligence. It is seen as impossible to predict what would happen beyond this point; hence the term "singularity". [[1084: Server Problem]] makes a joke on this.

"Defragging" is short for {{w|disk defragmentation}}, an easy, user-friendly action that PC users can undertake to supposedly make their computers run faster. It is therefore a common all-round recommendation to do this, regardless of the problem. [[Randall]] suggests the same clueless users would encounter the singularity and attempt defragging. It probably won't help much.

==Transcript==
:[Euler diagram with two circles that don't intersect. One circle is green, while the other is slight dark blue.]
:Green circle: Computer problems that make people say "Maybe it has a virus?"
:Blue circle: Computer problems caused by viruses

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Euler diagrams]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Singularity]]

1179: ISO 8601

2022-05-04T18:41:11Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240621 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1179
| date = February 27, 2013
| title = ISO 8601
| image = iso_8601.png
| titletext = ISO 8601 was published on 06/05/88 and most recently amended on 12/01/04.
}}

==Explanation==
When abbreviating the date into numerical form, {{w|Date format by country|various areas of the world}} tend to list the year, month, and day in different orders (as well as with different delimiting symbols), which can cause confusion particularly when the day value is 12 or lower allowing it to be easily interpreted as the month and vice versa. As a {{w|public service announcement}}, this comic states that there is in fact one international standard for writing numeric dates, set by the {{w|International Organization for Standardization}} in its {{w|ISO 8601}} standard: YYYY-MM-DD.

The comic then proceeds to list several discouraged ways of writing out the date of the comic's publication, as they do not match the standard. It begins with several commonly used ones in countries around the world, but then begins to list increasingly uncommon ways, ranging from strange (Roman numerals) to quirky (binary, Unix time) to essentially impossible (painting the numbers onto a black cat).

The title text provides a perfect example of the kind of ambiguity that can arise when non-standard formats are used. The ISO standard was in fact published on 1988-06-05 and amended on 2004-12-01. This is mentioned in the title text in MM/DD/YY format; however, there is no way to naturally figure this out, particularly with the second date.

With the year truncated to two digits and all three numbers at 12 or lower, the date referring to December 1, 2004 (the digits pairs 12, 01 and 04) has a number of misinterpretations. Usually 12th Jan '04 (if written as US-style but read as European, or vice-versa) but with ISO-influenced "YY MM DD" ordering as one side or other of the misunderstanding it can easily become the 12th day of April 2001, the 4th day of December 2001 and the 4th of January 2012. It takes two such communication errors to 'become' the 1st day of April 2012.

Date formats were again the subject in [[1340: Unique Date]] and [[2562: Formatting Meeting]].

The other mentioned formats are:

{| class=wikitable
! Date !! Explanation
|-
| 02/27/2013
| MM/DD/YYYY, used mostly in the United States.
|-
| 02/27/13
| MM/DD/YY, same as above but with the year shortened to two digits.
|-
| 27/02/2013
| DD/MM/YYYY, used variously in South America, Canada ({{w|Date_and_time_notation_in_Canada|officially uses ISO 8601}}), Australia, New Zealand and much of Europe.
|-
| 27/02/13
| DD/MM/YY, same as above but with the year shortened to two digits.
|-
| 20130227
| YYYYMMDD, same as ISO 8601 without delimiting punctuation. Allowed by the standard. Technically not ambiguous but is hard to read as a date at first glance.
|-
| 2013.02.27
| YYYY.MM.DD, used in Japan, South Korea and Hungary. Same as ISO 8601 except with different punctuation.
|-
| 27.02.13
| DD.MM.YY, used in Germany, Russia, and others.
|-
| 27-02-13
| DD-MM-YY, used in Denmark, Netherlands, Indonesia, India, Bangladesh, and others.
|-
| 27.2.13
| D.M.YY. It is common in several areas to abbreviate the month or day to a single digit and drop the leading zero when possible.
|-
| 2013. II. 27.
| YYYY. MM. DD., with month as {{w|Roman numerals}}, used in Hungary.
|-
| 27⁄2-13
| D⁄M-YY, traditional format in Denmark, Norway and Sweden
|-
| 2013.158904109
| Year and decimal fraction of year. 0.158904109 is a decimal approximation of 58/365, with February 27 being the 58th day of the year. This format may be easier to read for computers/programs in some contexts, but is difficult for humans to interpret.
|-
| MMXIII-II-XXVII
| The ISO 8601 standard but written in Roman numerals. Never used as a traditional standard anywhere as it is hard to read, parse, and interpret for no benefit.
|-
| MMXIII LVII⁄CCCLXV
| Year followed by its partial fraction 57/365, all in Roman numerals. Equally useless as the above. As a note, apparently this 'standard' is different from the decimal fraction two rows above, as the decimal fraction notation uses the ''end'' of the day (first day of the year is 1/365 while the last is 365/365), while this uses the ''beginning'' (first day is 0/365 and last is 364/365).
|-
| 1330300800
| {{w|Unix time|UNIX Timestamp}}, a standard method of storing absolute time in many computer systems and defined as the number of seconds since 00:00:00 on 1970-01-01 (UTC). The Unix time listed here appears to mistakenly be for '''2012'''-02-27, which is also mentioned by [[Randall]] in the original transcript. The Unix Timestamp for 2013-02-27 would be 1361923200.
|-
| ((3+3)×(111+1)-1)×3/3-1/33
| A useless format where the numbers 2013, 2, and 27 written as needlessly long arithmetic expressions using just the digits 1 and 3. For additional confusion, the values are delimited by slashes, enabling confusion with the fraction bar. (If evaluated literally, the entire expression evaluates to 670.963, or 671 minus 1 divided by 27.)
|-
|    2  272013
| A nearly impossible to read date "format" that can be considered a parody "compromise" between different formats: rather than argue about the order in which the year, month, and day should be, they are simply all written on top of each other. As a "bonus", there is also no arguing over which separator character to use.
|-
| 10/11011/1101
| The US mm/dd/yy format in {{w|Binary number|binary}}, corresponding to 2/27/13. Never used for obvious reasons.
|-
| 02/27/20/13
| MM/DD/CC/YY, where CC stands for century. This format is never used.{{Citation needed}} Note that while months and days count starting from 1, centuries and years in this format count from 0 for extra confusion. But the CC value is widely used on many operating systems to distinguish between the 20th and 21st century, represented by the values "19" and "20" because 1950 belongs to the 20th century.
|-
| <ruby><rb>0</rb><rb>1</rb><rb>2</rb><rb>3</rb><rb>7</rb><rt>2</rt><rt>3</rt><rt>1</rt><rt>4</rt><rtc style="ruby-position: under"><rt>5</rt><rt></rt><rt>67</rt><rt></rt><rt>8</rt></rtc></ruby>
| An obfuscated format where the small numbers indicate the positions where the large digits should be placed. In this reading, 0 is used at positions 2 and 5, 1 is used on position 3, etc.; the result being 20130227
|-
| [A hissing black cat with "2-27-13" painted on it]
| In Western cultures, black cats and the number 13 are associated with bad luck. The cat might also just be angry that someone covered it in paint.
|}

==Transcript==
:Public Service Announcement:

:Our different ways of writing dates as numbers can lead to online confusion. That's why in 1988 ISO set a global standard numeric date format. This is '''''the''''' correct way to write numeric dates:

::2013-02-27

:The following formats are therefore discouraged:
:*02/27/2013
:*02/27/13
:*27/02/2013
:*27/02/13
:*20130227
:*2013.02.27
:*27.02.13
:*27-02-13
:*27.2.13
:*2013. II. 27.
:*27⁄2-13
:*2013.158904109
:*MMXIII-II-XXVII
:*MMXIII LVII⁄CCCLXV
:*1330300800
:*((3+3)×(111+1)-1)×3/3-1/33
:*   2  272013 [the numbers 2013, 02, and 27 written overlapping each other]
:*10/11011/1101
:*02/27/20/13
:*2053112674378
:*[A black cat with 2-27-13 scrawled across its body in dripping white paint.]
:**Cat: ''Hissss''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Calendar]]

1176: Those Not Present

2022-05-04T18:40:59Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 241134 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1176
| date = February 20, 2013
| title = Those Not Present
| image = those not present.png
| titletext = 'Yeah, that squid's a total asshole.' [scoot scoot]
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] (likely representing [[Randall]]), has decided to leave conversations deemed toxic, by scooting a little bit away any time somebody badmouths someone not present. In each panel, he scoots progressively further away until he reaches an area with [[Megan]], [[Hairy]], and [[Beret Guy]], discussing {{w|giant squids}}. He decides to join them, as this conversation is far more interesting to him than one criticizing people behind their backs.

The title text jokes that the second group, is, in fact, dissing the giant squid rather than discussing how cool it is. As the squid is not present, Cueball scoots back.

==Transcript==
:Every time someone says something negative about a person who's not in the room, I scoot my chair back a few inches.
:[Cueball, Ponytail and two other people are sitting at a table drinking.]
:Person: ''He's'' not so bad, but his ''friends''...
:[Cueball scoots away from table.]
:''Scoot scoot''

:Ponytail: His band is never gonna take off if...
:[Cueball scoots further away.]
:''Scoot scoot''

:[Megan, Beret Guy, and Hairy come into view.]
:Off-screen: Yeah, his sister is even ''weirder''.
:Off-screen: Did you see she had...
:''Scoot scoot''
:Beret Guy: ...and there's a video, but it's blurry...

:[Cueball turns around and leans his arm on his chair.]
:Cueball: What're you talking about?
:Hairy: Giant squid!
:Cueball: Mind if I join you?

==Trivia==
*In the first panel, the word "friends" was originally misspelled as "frends".

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

1175: Moving Sidewalks

2022-05-04T18:40:49Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 241126 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1175
| date = February 18, 2013
| title = Moving Sidewalks
| image = moving sidewalks.png
| titletext = I think I could spend hours just stepping on and off of conveyor belts moving at various speeds.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] and [[Megan]] are getting ready to ride an array of mini-conveyor belts, each going at a speed multiple of the first ones. Assuming they both take the one in front of them, each conveyor belt will speed them up a little bit more with little effort on their part, ultimately reaching a point where they are going very fast and are close enough to be able to high-five each other.

The average moving walkway speed globally is 3 feet/second (~1m/sec), so Cueball and Megan would only be travelling about 2/3 average human running speed by the time they meet. Even with the opposing forces added to their high five, it would be very unlikely for them to injure each other (though the slap would more than likely be painful).

The title text may be a reference to a music video made by OK Go, "Here It Goes Again", in which the band jumps on and off of various treadmills in a similar fashion.

A series of parallel accelerating conveyor belts is also a long distance travel mechanism used in Robert A. Heinlein's {{w|The Roads Must Roll}} and in Isaac Asimov's Robot Detective novels.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan on the opposite far ends of a bidirectional moving sidewalk. Arrows indicate that one half will carry Cueball from left to right, while the other half will carry Megan from right to left. In each direction, the sidewalk is made up of a series of individual conveyors.]
:Cueball: Ready?
:
:[A diagram labels various individual conveyors as follows.]
:[Outermost conveyors:] Moving Sidewalk
:[Second and second-last conveyors:] Moving Sidewalk (2x Speed)
:[Next conveyors:] 3x Speed
:[Next conveyors:] 4x Speed
:[Innermost conveyors:] 5x Speed
:[Spot between the two sidewalks, directly in the center:] High-Five Location
:
:Megan: Ready.

==Trivia==
This comic was originally uploaded with all the arrows facing in the opposite direction, before Randall updated it with the current image.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

1161: Hand Sanitizer

2022-05-04T18:40:20Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240643 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1161
| date = January 16, 2013
| title = Hand Sanitizer
| image = hand sanitizer.png
| titletext = Hipster CDC Reports Flu Epidemic Peaked Years Ago
}}

==Explanation==
The number of germs that would be left after using the hand sanitizer is 200 million times 0.01%. 0.01% is equivalent to 0.0001 in decimal, so the multiplication is 200 000 000 × 0.0001. That is 20 thousand germs, which is still a surprisingly large number of germs. Recently, scientists [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2257098/Larry-projectile-vomiting-robot-helping-British-team-learn-stop-spread-norovirus.html have shown] that it only takes 20 virus particles to infect someone (with analyzed virus; not all germs are equally effective). However, they have also previously noted that the effectiveness of hand sanitizer is actually higher than 99.99%, but it's a bit awkward to print a more precise decimal in an advertising slogan. (Several brands actually kill near 100%, but don't want to risk going to court for false advertising because a few germs got past.)

"Hipster CDC" is a combination of the acronym for the {{w|Centers for Disease Control and Prevention}}, an organization dedicated to studying infectious diseases and limiting their spread, with the label {{w|Hipster (contemporary subculture)|hipster}}. Hipsters form a cultural group associated with a distaste for popular culture; they stereotypically talk about how bands, authors, etc. were better before they "went mainstream" and proclaim that they liked a certain thing "before it was cool."

The title text extends this sensibility to the flu, which in fact did peak years ago, such as in 1918, when a {{w|1918 flu epidemic|world-wide flu epidemic}} killed tens of millions. The humor lies in the notion that the "Hipster CDC" apparently approves of the time when the flu was more widespread and fatal, while most people consider the diminishment of the flu is a good thing. This could be a jab at hipsters' common insistence on liking things before they "go mainstream": many things, before they go mainstream, just aren't very good, and therefore hipsters' taste in things is highly questionable.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball looks at a poster while holding a bottle.]
:Poster: An invisible sneeze droplet can contain ''200 million'' germs!

:[Same scene, except Cueball is looking at the bottle.]
:Product label: Our hand sanitizer kills 99.99% of germs!

:[Cueball types on a calculator while still holding the product.]
:Cueball (typing on calculator): 200 000 000 × 0.01% =

:[Cueball holds down his calculator.]
:Cueball: Ew.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Math]]

1159: Countdown

2022-05-04T18:40:10Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 241101 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

<noinclude>:''For the header text countdown, see [[Countdown in header text]].''</noinclude>
{{comic
| number = 1159
| date = January 11, 2013
| title = Countdown
| image = countdown.png
| titletext = For all we know, the odds are in our favor.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic shows a {{w|seven segment display}} (aka [http://www.ece.mtu.edu/labs/EElabs/EE2304/pages/bcd_to_seven_segment_TAversion.html calculator-style numbers]) with a countdown. [[Black Hat]] explains that it is a countdown, maybe to a {{w|supervolcano}} eruption. However, an unfortunately placed picture blocks view of the full display. Due to the form of a seven-segment display, the first digit could be 0, 6, or 8, and five digits are completely blocked by the picture. [[Cueball]] is worried and asks him to move the picture, but Black Hat lazily or teasingly refuses to move it.

He has already teased that he doesn't know what the countdown is for. His reply can either be understood as if he does not know which one of the ({{w|Supervolcano#VEI_8|seven potential}}) supervolcanos it is counting down to, or to which other {{w|Global catastrophic risk|cataclysmic event}} it is a countdown for (such as a {{w|Impact event|meteor strike}} or global {{w|Nuclear warfare|nuclear war}} for instance - it could also just be a general {{w|Doomsday Clock}}). Since it seems to be Black Hat's countdown, it is safe to assume that he knows both what it counts down to and when it stops, but he just likes to mess with peoples' minds.

The fully visible part starts at 2409, and based on the pace of the scene, it seems to be in seconds. Thus, it is unclear when the eruption might occur. If the obscured digits are all 0s, it could be as soon as 40 minutes. On the other hand, if the obscured digits are '899 999', there's another 2.85 million years to go; if they are '000 001', we have a little more than 3 years.

The choice of the picture is probably also interesting. The image is distorted enough that you can imagine it as being two very different images.
#It could depict a setting sun either reflecting in an ocean or with a river (possible also a lake) running out of the picture. But if it is a sun it is not very circular, although there do appear lines to indicate it is shining. This could maybe be explained with atmospheric interference.
#Alternatively it depicts an exploding volcano, a mountain with lines away from it to indicate the explosion or the eruption, and lava flowing away from it or collecting in lakes.
In either case, it could make sense. If it is a volcano, the supervolcano clock makes sense. On the other hand, we are talking about the possible end of the world as we know it, so the sun setting upon humanity could be a great metaphor.

The title text: "For all we know, the odds are in our favor" could imply the assumption that since we can't see the digits behind the picture, we can treat them as random. If so, chances are only 1 in 300 000 they are all zeros. However, because of statistical principles such as {{w|Benford's law}}, the digits are not entirely random, and the {{w|odds}} are higher than 1/299 999 for all the digits to be zero since the middle 4 digits are zero.

In an alternative view, the strip is not about pondering at distributions of digits on an oracle countdown. It's more of a grim view of our natural disaster prediction capabilities. As they say – the question is not if it will happen but when it will happen. "Move the picture" would mean investing in research and warning systems - that would correspond to shifting the picture to the left. If we disregard the 40 minutes, but instead think of it as an arbitrary interval of interests, minuscule as we folks have them, say - one's lifetime; or grimmer yet - some {{w|term of office}}. Because, hey, year after year passes and no apocalypse has been observed - the empirical odds are low indeed. An interesting question is what we would use the knowledge of the timing of our impending doom, if it is an event we can do nothing about, such as stopping a supervolcanic eruption or a large asteroid with a direct impact course on Earth. Would we not have lives more happily for our remaining years, how few that might be, while not knowing... On the other hand, if the event is something we might prevent given enough time to plan (and the funding resources such knowledge would ensure), then it may have saved us if we moved the picture just in time!

Using a countdown theme for comic #1159 could be a subtle joke, as 11:59/23:59 is one minute to midnight (on the Doomsday clock!).

Supervolcanos were also referenced in the title text of [[1053: Ten Thousand]] and it is the subject of in [[1611: Baking Soda and Vinegar]].

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat is sitting with his laptop on a desk when Cueball, standing behind him, looks up on the wall and asks him about the large digital countdown timer with red numbers which is hanging high up on the wall. It has a white frame around the black display with the red numbers. Most of the left part of the counter is covered by a framed picture that hangs on a string attached to a nail above the counter. The picture depicts either a setting sun reflecting in an ocean or an exploding volcano with lava flowing away from it. The picture does not block the left-most part of the frame around the counter, and it is also possible to see the two left-most lines of the first digit on the countdown, so they are both turned on. This proves that the numbers go all the way to the left end. The next five digits are covered by the picture. Then one digit is only partly covered, as only the two most left lines are not visible. From the visible lines, it is though clear that this digit shows a 0. The next seven digits are fully visible, giving eight discernible digits.]
:
:'''00002409'''
:
:Cueball: What's that?
:Black Hat: Countdown.
:[Same picture, but Cueball is looking at Black Hat. The counter counts down.]
:
:'''00002400'''
:
:Cueball: To what?
:Black Hat: Supervolcano, I think. I forget which one.
:[Cueball looks up again for about 18s (between 2nd and fourth image) - beat panel.]
:
:'''00002396'''
:
:[Cueball looks at Black Hat again.]
:
:'''00002382'''
:
:Cueball: Maybe we should move that picture?
:Black Hat: Too hard to reach. It's probably fine.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Volcanoes]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Statistics]]
[[Category:Time]]

1153: Proof

2022-05-04T18:39:54Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 241071 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1153
| date = December 28, 2012
| title = Proof
| image = proof.png
| titletext = The prosecution calls Gottfried Leibniz.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Zeno of Elea}} was an ancient Greek philosopher who devised several apparent paradoxes of motion called {{w|Zeno's paradoxes}}. Here are the two relevant to the comic:

:'''Arrow paradox:''' At any instant in time, an arrow suspended in mid-air is no different from an arrow in motion. How, then, can motion occur? (Answer: {{w|calculus}} [all objects have a velocity].) The lawyer presumably intends to use this argument to prove that his client could not have used the arrow to commit murder. Another possibility was that it is impossible to hit a person in motion.

:'''Dichotomy paradox:''' Suppose I need to go from point A to point B. First I must walk halfway there: half of the distance between A and B. Then I must walk half the remaining distance, which would bring me to three-quarters of the original distance; then I must again walk half the now-remaining distance to reach a point seven-eighths of the way from point A, and so on. Because I would have to take an infinite number of non-zero steps, I will never reach point B. By the same argument, the lawyer in the comic can get closer and closer to the judge's table, but never reach it.

There are two possible law vs math/logic puns in the comic, on the words "approach" and "proof." "{{w|Approach the bench}}" is a legal term meaning to have a private conversation with the judge; approach in calculus means an infinite process where a function value gets closer and closer to a {{w|Limit (mathematics)|limit}} value that it never actually reaches, reminiscent of Zeno's paradoxes. "Proof" is also ambiguous, with a different meaning in formal mathematics than in {{w|jurisprudence}}. See {{w|Proof (truth)}} and {{w|Mathematical Proof}}, for example.

{{w|Gottfried Leibniz}} is the co-inventor of {{w|calculus}} (along with Isaac Newton; see [[626: Newton and Leibniz]]). If Leibniz were to testify in this imaginary trial, he might argue that calculus invalidates Zeno's paradoxes, because the moving arrow has a different velocity than a stationary one (the function describing the motion has a nonzero derivative at the point), and the {{w|infinite series}} in the dichotomy paradox has a finite sum. Both Zeno and calculus assume a continuous, infinitely divisible, ideal {{w|spacetime}} (as does {{w|quantum mechanics}}); a different solution would be available if spacetime turns out to be discrete. However, Zeno is arguably not concerned with actually calculating the correct answer. In the real world, Zeno can be trivially disproven simply by moving and reaching a desired target (it is said that Diogenes the Cynic reacted to the paradox by wordlessly walking to a destination, to demonstrate his contempt for it). It remains a question of debate whether a mathematical approach addresses the central points in Zeno's arguments.

[[994: Advent Calendar]] is also about Zeno.

==Transcript==
:Zeno: My client couldn't have killed anyone with this arrow, and I can ''prove'' it!
:Judge: I'd like to examine your proof, Zeno. You may approach the bench.
:Zeno: —But never reach it!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Philosophy]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

1148: Nothing to Offer

2022-05-04T18:39:39Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240473 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1148
| date = December 17, 2012
| title = Nothing to Offer
| image = nothing to offer.png
| titletext = cerebrospinal fluid, pericardial fluid, sputum, aqueous humor, perilymph, chyme, hydatid fluid, interstitial fluid, rheum, and gin.
}}

==Explanation==
"I have nothing to offer but {{w|blood, toil, tears, and sweat}}" is a famous phrase in a speech given by {{w|Winston Churchill}}, which would be heard on the radio in the 1940s. The comic then goes on to list numerous other increasingly obscure {{w|body fluid|bodily fluids}}, including through the title text, ending humorously with {{w|gin}} (which Churchill was partial to).

The fluids in order: {{w|blood}}, {{w|tears}}, {{w|sweat}}, {{w|saliva|spit}}, {{w|bile}}, {{w|vomit}}, {{w|urine}}, {{w|mucus}}, {{w|semen}}, {{w|earwax}}, {{w|lymph}}, {{w|gastric acid}}, {{w|sebum}}, {{w|pus}}, {{w|endolymph}}, {{w|intracellular fluid}}, {{w|blood plasma}}, {{w|vitreous humor}}, {{w|feces}}, {{w|pleural cavity fluid}}, {{w|chyle}}, {{w|synovial fluid}}, {{w|peritoneal fluid}}, {{w|cerebrospinal fluid}}, {{w|pericardial fluid}}, {{w|sputum}}, {{w|aqueous humor}}, {{w|perilymph}}, {{w|chyme}}, {{w|hydatid fluid}}, {{w|interstitial fluid}}, and {{w|rheum}}. The partially obscured ones near the end are taken by process of elimination. CHLY- seems to be a typo for CHYL(E).

[Replace 'gin' with 'tea' for all other Bri'ish people]

==Transcript==
:[Radio on a dresser.]
:Radio: I have nothing to offer
:Radio: But

:Radio: Blood, toil, tears, sweat,

:Radio: spit, bile, vomit, urine,

:[Text is now bleeding through the background and gets obscured then cut off.]
:Radio: mucus, semen, earwax, lymph, gastric acid, sebum, pus, endolymph, intracellular fluid, blood plasma, vitreous humor, feces, pleural cavity fluid, chlye, synovial fluid, peritoneal fluid,
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Winston Churchill]]

1145: Sky Color

2022-05-04T18:39:29Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240722 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1145
| date = December 10, 2012
| title = Sky Color
| image = sky_color.png
| titletext = Feynman recounted another good one upperclassmen would use on freshmen physics students: When you look at words in a mirror, how come they're reversed left to right but not top to bottom? What's special about the horizontal axis?
}}

==Explanation==
The point of this comic is that often, curious children ask their parents simple questions about understanding how the world works. Often, although the question is simple, the answer is not. "Why is the sky blue?" is a common example, since most parents are not familiar with {{w|Rayleigh scattering}}, and thus are unable to answer the question.

[[Randall]]'s hobby is to make those questions even harder, so that the parents who ''are'' familiar with the subject (scientists, for example) will be stumped.

Another point of this comic is that we often think that we understand a scientific phenomenon (e.g. why is the sky blue?); however, a certain simple question (e.g. why isn't the sky violet?) can often uncover large gaps in our actual understanding.

{{W|Rayleigh scattering}} is the phenomenon that explains the color of the sky, where light of every wavelength gets scattered in the air by the inverse quartic (fourth power) of its wavelength as given in the comic. In the {{w|visible spectrum}}, blue light has a wavelength of 450–495 nm while violet has a shorter wavelength of 380–450 nm. Violet light does indeed get scattered more than blue light, however the lower portion of the spectrum for sunlight consists of blue light and eyes are much more sensitive to blue light than violet light. Furthermore, the sunlight contains more blue than violet to begin with as a result of the surface temperature of the sun. This leaves the impression of a blue sky. A good explanation, including why blue and not violet, can be found in [http://math.ucr.edu/home/baez/physics/General/BlueSky/blue_sky.html Usenet Physics FAQ :: Why is the sky blue?], but note that human color perception [http://blog.asmartbear.com/color-wheels.html is more complicated] than described there.

The title text refers to a {{w|mirror image}}, and is discussed by the famous American theoretical physicist {{w|Richard Feynman}} in a famous BBC documentary [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tuxLY94LXw], as one of the problems which he used to have fun with first years (British English for first year student or freshman).

A mirror image is a virtual image produced by the reflection of light on a mirror. It's common to think of images in mirrors as being reversed left-to-right, as any text held in front of us will appear flipped. This is actually an issue of perception. In a plane mirror, images are reflected directly: the left side of your body will be reflected in the left side of the mirror, and vice-versa. The source of confusion is that people tend to think of a mirror image the way we would think of a person facing us. When another person faces us, they turn around the vertical axis, placing their right hand on our left side, so seeing our left hand on our left side in a reflection ''seems'' like an inversion, even though it's a direct representation. By the same token, in order to hold text up to a mirror, we generally flip it around the vertical axis, so that the start of the text is on right, and the end on the left (in English, at least). When the mirror reflects this, we see the text as backward, but the mirror hasn't reversed it, we reverse it when we turn it toward a mirror.

In other words, the vertical axis is only "special" because we're used to objects turning around it, so we come to expect that reversal, instead of a reflection.

You can induce a mirror to reverse left and right only --- by standing next to it instead of in front of it, facing along the plane of the mirror itself. If you lift your right arm, you can clearly see your image's left arm raising, without having to adjust for frame of reference. Similarly, you can induce a mirror to reverse top and bottom only by holding it flat above your head or laying it flat on the ground and standing on it (or perhaps standing under a suitably equipped bedroom ceiling). See [https://youtu.be/1t4dOPxKgrY this] video for a demonstration.

==Transcript==
:[Science Girl and her mother, Megan, but with her hair up. Megan is at a desk and facing the girl.]
:Science Girl: Mommy, why is the sky blue?
:Megan: Rayleigh scattering! Short wavelengths get scattered ''way'' more (proportional to 1/''λ''4). Blue light dominates because it's so short.
:Science Girl: Oh.
:Science Girl: So why ''isn't'' the sky violet?
:Megan: Well, because, uh... ...hmm.
:[Caption Below the panel:]
:My hobby: Teaching tricky questions to the children of my scientist friends.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Science Girl]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:My Hobby]]

1142: Coverage

2022-05-04T18:39:16Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240861 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1142
| date = December 3, 2012
| title = Coverage
| image = coverage.png
| titletext = My resonant tunneling diode phone has limited range but a short enough wavelength to penetrate even the densest cages. This gives me a major combat advantage, hopefully.
}}

==Explanation==
The caption "faraday cagematch" is a portmanteau of "faraday cage" and "cagematch".

A {{w|Faraday cage}} is a cage of conducting material that interferes and blocks out {{w|electromagnetic radiation}} like cell phone signals, provided the material is of the appropriate thickness and the gaps between the "bars" are significantly smaller than the wavelength of the radiation. A {{w|cage match}} is a type of professional wrestling match in which the participants fight in a ring enclosed by a metal cage. The comic caption is a play on the two terms, putting [[Cueball]] into a cage match in the Faraday cage that is blocking his reception.

Also the fact that Cueball gets hit in the face immediately after stating that the coverage is awful might be a joke about the different meanings of the word cover, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boxing#Defense|in boxing for example] the word cover-up is a defensive technique, while [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cellular_network#Mobile_phone_network|cell phone coverage] refers to the connection quality of his phone to the mobile phone network. The fact that Cueball, obviously referring to his phone signal, complains about awful coverage (caused by the faraday cage) while his head is also badly or not at all covered (caused by himself), which allows his opponent to strike him, might be described as ironically comedic.

The title text is a play on a rule in cage matches that states that a participant wins if they are first to escape the cage. {{w|Tunneling diode|Tunneling diodes}} are capable of fast operation, allowing a device to generate high frequency signals, which are more capable of penetrating the mesh openings in a Faraday cage.

Randall uses Faraday cages again in [[Faraday Tour]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is looking at a phone.]
:Cueball: Man, the coverage here is ''awfu—''

:[Another man punches Cueball.]
:[Caption below the panel:] Faraday cagematch
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Portmanteau]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Phones]]

1134: Logic Boat

2022-05-04T18:38:55Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240507 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1134
| date = November 14, 2012
| title = Logic Boat
| image = logic boat.png
| titletext = Or a cabbage, for that matter. Goats make sense. Goats are fine.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic is a play on the classic {{w|wolf, goat and cabbage puzzle}} belonging to the {{w|river crossing puzzle}}s, and first known from {{w|Propositiones ad Acuendos Juvenes}}, with the same setting as here. The three possessions change between various retellings but it typically involves a {{w|Carnivore|carnivorous animal}} (wolf, lion etc.), a {{w|herbivore}} (goat, sheep, chicken, goose etc.), and some plant based food (cabbage, grain, beans etc.). The objective {{tvtropes|FoxChickenGrainPuzzle|is to ferry all three possessions to the other side of a river safely in a small boat}}, with the limitation of only being able to transport one possession per crossing. The crossing order must take into account that the carnivore would eat the herbivore if left alone together, and the herbivore would eat the food.

The traditional solution would be:

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Origin
! Destination
|-
| Cueball, Wolf, Goat, Cabbage
|
|-
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | Trip 1: Take goat across
|-
| Wolf, Cabbage
| Cueball, Goat
|-
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | Trip 2: Return alone
|-
| Cueball, Wolf, Cabbage
| Goat
|-
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | Trip 3: Take cabbage across
|-
| Wolf
| Cueball, Goat, Cabbage
|-
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | Trip 4: Return with goat
|-
| Cueball, Wolf, Goat
| Cabbage
|-
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | Trip 5: Take wolf across
|-
| Goat
| Cueball, Wolf, Cabbage
|-
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | Trip 6: Return alone
|-
| Cueball, Goat
| Wolf, Cabbage
|-
| colspan="2" align="center" style="background: #ffdead;" | Trip 7: Take goat across
|-
|
| Cueball, Wolf, Goat, Cabbage
|}

(Note that, since the conditions for this problem are symmetric, an alternate solution would be to transport the wolf on Trip 3 and the cabbage on Trip 5.)

By leaving the wolf behind, four steps are saved — the comic's "step 4" is just a comment — and the troublesome wolf, a wild and dangerous animal not usually kept by humans, is eliminated from the picture.

This could be seen a jab on the common assumption that logic puzzles only have one correct solution. Thus one often keeps the other person thinking and guessing until they arrive at the pre-defined solution, no matter how many other creative good solutions they come up with. Also note that the "problem" given doesn't even state an objective, just three prerequisites.

Alternatively, this could be a jab at the fact that the conditions of some puzzles are very strange. Both the fourth step and title text are evidence of this - questioning why you would have a wolf or a cabbage respectively. Yet, even though it is unlikely that you would ever find yourself in the situation and odd rules as stated by the puzzle in real life,{{Citation needed}} the puzzle demands that you solve it and reach the criteria it asks.

The title text says that cabbages are also unnecessary, but goats are fine. The reasons for these opinions are less obvious than the one about the wolf, but still understandable. Many people, presumably including the narrator, do not like the taste of cabbage. Many are also fond of goats, finding them cute. The same opinion about goats is in [[1282: Monty Hall]].

The river crossing puzzle was the main focus of [[2348: Boat Puzzle]]. It was referenced in [[589: Designated Drivers]].

==Transcript==
:[A person shows up at a boat docked at the edge of a river. The person has brought along a head of cabbage, a goat, and a wolf.]
:Problem: The boat only holds two, but you can't leave the goat with the cabbage or the wolf with the goat.

:[The wolf looks curiously at the cabbage that's been left behind while the person goes off with the goat.]
:Solution: 1. Take the goat across.

:[The goat remains tied up on the far side. The wolf watches the person come back.]
:2. Return alone.

:[The wolf sits and waits as the person goes off.]
:3. Take the cabbage across.

:4. Leave the wolf. Why did you have a wolf?
:[The wolf goes off.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Logic]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Food]]

1107: Sports Cheat Sheet

2022-05-04T18:38:16Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240578 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1107
| date = September 12, 2012
| title = Sports Cheat Sheet
| image = sports_cheat_sheet.png
| titletext = I would subscribe to a Twitter feed that supplied you with one reasonable sports opinion per day, like "The Red Sox can't make the playoffs (championship games), but in last night's game their win seriously damaged the chances of the Yankees (longstanding rival team)."
}}

==Explanation==
[[Randall]] presents a "cheat sheet" which is a handy reference guide for something that is generally expected to be memorized or known by someone familiar with the knowledge domain. Cheat sheets are commonly used in mathematical applications to list important formulas or for measurement conversions; but they may also be used in other applications.

This cheat sheet allows Randall to figure out what sport other people are arguing over on the basis of the time of year and where the argument is occurring. The chart is based on the annual seasons (periods when the top professional and college leagues play) of each sport.

In the United States, the chart is divided among {{w|baseball}}, {{w|basketball}} and {{w|American football}}. Hockey is not shown, suggesting that he may not consider hockey a sport to compare with the three listed, he does not encounter arguments about hockey (of the four major professional sports leagues in North America, the {{w|NHL}} is significantly behind the others in terms of attention as its appeal is traditionally limited by geography to Canada and the northern United States), or that he perhaps does not need a chart to determine when the argument is about hockey (they may be obvious for countless reasons, including the physicality of typical hockey confrontations). Also, golf is not shown as well implying Randall may not think it's an important sport. The chart suggests that football is the most popular of the three sports, or at least more popular to argue about (of the four major professional sports leagues in North America, the {{w|NFL}} generally has the most attention).

The {{w|NFL}} football regular season generally runs from September to December with playoffs in January and early February. Overlapping this period of time, NCAA college football is also occurring, from September to December, with their bowl games in December and January. Almost all of this period, sports arguments are likely to be about football. The {{w|NBA}} basketball regular season runs from late October to mid-April with playoffs in April and into June. {{w|NCAA}} college basketball starts in November but peaks in March with the NCAA Basketball Tournament ([[1819: Sweet 16|March Madness]]). According to the chart, the arguments about basketball don't begin until the football season is over. They continue through the end of April, but start again at the end of May during the playoff finals. The {{w|MLB}} baseball regular season runs from April through September with playoffs in late September and October. When the baseball season begins, arguments shift from the ongoing basketball season to the new baseball season. As mentioned, the NBA Finals create some basketball arguments again for a few weeks. Similarly, the start of the NFL season in September makes it more likely arguments then will be about football. Baseball takes over briefly during the playoffs in October.

One of the punchlines is that outside the US, all sports arguments are about {{w|association football}} (soccer) all year round. The two types of football are noted on the chart by an icon showing the ball used in each sport.

The title text continues on the theme of this chart being for someone who doesn't know anything about sports. Randall imagines a {{w|Twitter}} feed where you receive a salient sports opinion each day, presumably so that you could repeat the opinion to your friends and appear knowledgeable about sports. As the feed is for those uninformed about sports, there are clarifications of important terms in brackets.

The suggested Twitter message mentioned in the title text is accurate for the date of the comic. On September 11, 2012 the baseball team {{w|Boston Red Sox}} played the {{w|New York Yankees}} and won, 4 runs to 3. The Red Sox were already mathematically eliminated from the playoffs (meaning they needed to win more games than remained in the season to qualify). The Yankees were at the top of the standings, but were in a close race for the playoffs with the {{w|Baltimore Orioles}} (both teams had a win-loss record of 79 wins to 62 losses, with 21 games each remaining to play). To be guaranteed a spot in the playoffs, the Yankees had to win more of their remaining games than the Orioles. Losing to the Red Sox made this task harder. (For those wondering, both the Yankees and the Orioles made to the playoffs, but neither made it to the championship round, the World Series.)

Traditionally, the Red Sox and the Yankees have a {{w|Yankees–Red Sox rivalry|long-standing rivalry}}, especially among fans. Many Red Sox fans consider a loss by the Yankees nearly as good as a win by the Red Sox (and the Red Sox beating the Yankees the best of both worlds). If the Red Sox can't win the World Series, then at least they can help prevent the Yankees from winning it.

This strip is one of several in which Randall attempts to trivialize sports (see for instance [[904: Sports]], [[1480: Super Bowl]], [[1507: Metaball]] and [[1859: Sports Knowledge]]).

==Transcript==
:[A three-column table. Months are arrayed down the first column, the second and third columns show sports, with the divisions in partial months rather than lined up with the ends of months. American football and association football (i.e. soccer) are differentiated by small icons in brackets depicting the respective balls used.]

:'''Which sport are they arguing about?'''
:-My cheat sheet-

:[The second column, reproduced using approximate dates.]
:US:
:Football [ovoid ball drawn in brackets]: January 1 - February 10
:Basketball: February 10 - April 20
:Baseball: April 20 - May 25
:Basketball: May 25 - June 15
:Baseball: June 15 - August 20
:Football [ovoid]: August 20 - October 5
:Baseball: October 5 - October 20
:Football [ovoid]: October 20 - December 31

:[The third column, reproduced using approximate dates.]
:non-US:
:Football [truncated icosahedron, 20 hexagons and 12 pentagons]: January 1 - December 31

==Trivia==
The idea of a website that supplies sports talking points to non-fans was previously used in a 2008 episode of the sitcom ''{{w|The IT Crowd}}'', which might be where Randall got the idea. There, the site (Bluffball) focused on UK football, and offered the lines "Did you see that ludicrous display last night?", "What was {{w|Arsene Wenger|Wenger}} thinking sending {{w|Theo Walcott|Walcott}} on that early?" and "The trouble with {{w|Arsenal FC|Arsenal}} is they always try and walk it in."

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:American football]]
[[Category:Basketball]]
[[Category:Baseball]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Sport]]

1095: Crazy Straws

2022-05-04T18:37:56Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240549 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1095
| date = August 15, 2012
| title = Crazy Straws
| image = crazy_straws.png
| titletext = The new crowd is heavily shaped by this guy named Eric, who's basically the Paris Hilton of the amateur plastic crazy straw design world.
}}

==Explanation==
A {{w|subculture}} is a small group of people within a culture that share some property in common, such as hackers or hipsters. Some subcultures form based on a geeky obsession over a trivial topic (for instance, a minimally-drawn webcomic). In this case, that topic is crazy straws, which are toy drinking straws designed with unusual twists and loops. This strip uses this group as an example of the fractal nature of cultures.

Informally speaking, a {{w|fractal}} is a mathematical shape with an infinite level of detail. Just as fractals can always be divided into smaller patterns, Randall points out that human subcultures can always be divided into smaller subcultures. We have the "people who like crazy straws" subculture, but this is further divided into the professionals and the hobbyists. The hobbyists are themselves broken into those who accept loops in the straws and those who don't. A splinter group, as used in the comic, is a subculture that breaks off from a larger one. Of course, this nesting is not really infinite, since there is a finite number of people living. The claim that it is infinite is hyperbole.

Despite the incredible amount of work fans put into it, the whole concept seems completely inconsequential to an outsider. This irony is the source of humor in this strip. An earlier comic, [[915: Connoisseur]], covers a similar topic.

{{w|Paris Hilton}} is a celebrity who is essentially famous for being famous. The "guy named Eric" mentioned in the title-text is someone prominent in the amateur plastic crazy-straw community, but that doesn't really count as famous by most standards, so the Paris Hilton comparison is quite a stretch.

==Transcript==
:[Two people hang out with some beverages. Cueball here has a bright green crazy straw.]
:Cueball: The thing to understand about the plastic crazy straw design world is that there are two main camps: The ''professionals'' - designing for established brands - and the ''hobbyists''.
:Cueball: The hobbyist mailing lists are full of drama, with friction between the regulars and a splinter group focused on loops...

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Human subcultures are nested fractally. There's no bottom.

{{Comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

1091: Curiosity

2022-05-04T18:37:43Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240543 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1091
| date = August 6, 2012
| title = Curiosity
| image = curiosity.png
| titletext = As of this writing the NASA/JPL websites are still overloaded. Trying CURIOSITY-REAR-CAM_[256px_x_256px].torrent.SwEsUb.DVDRip.XviD-aXXo.jpg instead.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a reference to the {{w|Curiosity rover|NASA Mars Rover "Curiosity"}} landing on Mars on August 5, 2012 at 10:31pm PDT (August 6, 2012 at 5:31am GMT). NASA live-streamed the landing, but demand for the feed caused server issues. Thus, the time spent trying to download the landing images could be used as an excuse for things such as being late for work, falling asleep during the day, or just about anything demanding one's attention.

The title text is a reference to {{w|Torrent file|torrents}}, which are a more resilient peer-to-peer file-sharing method, due to the decentralized BitTorrent protocol, where the more people there are downloading a file, the more available it is. The name is a play on the file naming convention of release groups who name their files (typically for films or television shows) containing data on the file; source (CAM = Camera capture), language (SwEsUb = Swedish subtitles), source (DVDRip = Ripped from DVD), encoding (XviD = XviD codec) and group name ({{w|Axxo|aXXo}} = aXXo, a well known DVD movie release group). Given that the filename is loaded with keywords that are irrelevant for a still image file, it is unlikely that this torrent will contain the expected pictures.

[http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/msl/multimedia/msl5.html The first images received from Curiosity] via the {{w|2001 Mars Odyssey|Odyssey}} orbiter were low-resolution thumbnails taken from the rover's rear-facing camera, thus the file name CURIOSITY-REAR-CAM_[256px_x_256px].

==Transcript==
:[The Curiosity rover is lowered onto the Mars surface by a Sky Crane.]
:'''Your excuse for anything today:'''
:"Sorry-
:I was up all night trying to download photos taken by a robot lowered onto Mars by a Skycrane."

{{Comic discussion}}

[[Category:Mars rovers]]
[[Category:Science]]

1085: ContextBot

2022-05-04T18:37:29Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240849 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1085
| date = July 23, 2012
| title = ContextBot
| image = contextbot.png
| titletext = If you read all vaguebooking/vaguetweeting with the assumption that they're saying everything they can without revealing classified military information, the internet gets way more exciting.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a commentary on the practice of [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=vaguebooking "vaguebooking"] or [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=vaguetweeting "vaguetweeting"], which is posting a short message of sadness or frustration without context. This is frustrating and emotionally trying to readers because it implies something serious has happened that requires friends to provide emotional support, but may also be something trivial, and with no context it is impossible to determine whether one should worry or not.

Google has been criticized more than a few times for keeping rather extensive data records on its users, who by this point constitute most of the internet, enough to cause serious damage if Google wasn't historically altruistic (as altruistic as a for-profit company can be). In the comic, ContextBot is a fictitious Google invention which puts context for these statuses, presumably based on all that personal data which Google has collected:

*The first response is pretty self-explanatory: the original poster wants to use the Internet while on the toilet, but can't get a {{w|wi-fi}} signal there.

*The second response is about a bad {{w|torrent file}} the original poster downloaded. A ''torrent'' is a way to download files from a lot of different sources at the same time, thereby speeding up the process; it is typically used for large downloads such as movies, games, or Linux software distributions. Fake torrents exist, which usually contain an encrypted {{w|.rar}} file which requires a password to open. To get the password, you usually need to go through a survey via the link supplied in the torrent; in some situations, you even need to pay in order to get the password. Even after that, it's quite likely that the .rar file just contains trash files, instead of the download you wanted.

*The third response is about an xkcd favorite, ''{{w|Minecraft}}'', which has been [[:Category:Minecraft|referenced multiple times]] in xkcd comics. Diamonds are a very valuable resource in the game, and lava destroys most item dropped into it- including diamonds. A "stack" of diamond can be up to 64 individual diamonds, because most items (including diamonds) can only be stacked to a maximum of 64 in vanilla minecraft (some items can only be stacked to 16, or even can't be stacked at all). The 64 diamonds would likely represent the fruit of several hours (or days) mining. Alt+Tab is the default keybinding on most OSes to switch to a different program, while the default keybinding to drop an item in Minecraft is the Q key, which is immediately next to the Tab key on QWERTY-style keyboards. Thus, it would be easy to accidentally drop an item while meaning to switch windows using the keyboard.

*The fourth response is about how the original poster mistook the grapes as being seedless. Grape seeds taste really bitter and are uncomfortable when swallowed; this is even more annoying when the seeds are unexpected.

As noted by the subtitle, ContextBot is considered a great good by everyone who was sick of vaguebooking. This also redeems Google's practice of all those data records in the public's eye.

In the ContextBot's avatar image, three people can be seen together hanging out. But the image is about to be cropped, leaving out the third person and therefore giving the impression that the two people in the cropped image are there without that person. This demonstrates how ''context'' is important to understanding a situation.

The title text refers to the cryptic ways in which someone with sensitive information must communicate. While most vaguebooking/vaguetweeting is about things of little importance, the title text implies that the things not mentioned impact national/global security. This implies that many tweets may actually be related to high-clearance military and or national security information, but must be vague in order to keep it secret, and if you take that as the context, then the internet suddenly becomes much more exciting.

==Transcript==
:[A social network feed with four status updates from four different people with profile picture. Each status has an arrow going down and right to a reply underneath them, all from the same account, which is called ContextBot. It also has a profile picture with three people standing behind a see-through material with a hole in it. The person on the left is not behind the part with hole and is thus completely greyed out. The other two only have their legs covered, the rest is thus not greyed out because it is behind the hole. The left is a Cueball, the middle may have glasses, and the right has hair. Below them is a black band in which the name ContextBot is written in white.]
:Close-up face with hair and glasses: The things I put up with...
:ContextBot: (His building's WiFi doesn't reach the bathroom.)
:Cueball and Megan holding each other: You'd think by now I'd have learned never to trust anyone.
:ContextBot: (She downloaded a torrent that turned out to be an encrypted .rar and a link to a survey.)
:Blondie: I officially give up.
:ContextBot: (She hit alt-tab to hide Minecraft at work and accidentally dropped a stack of diamond into lava.)
:Hairy: Sighhhh
:ContextBot: (He thought these grapes were seedless.)

:[Caption below the panel]
:Everyone stopped complaining about Google's data-gathering when they launched ContextBot, a system which replies to vague, enigmatic social network posts with context from the poster's life.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Social networking]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Blondie]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Minecraft]]

1077: Home Organization

2022-05-04T18:36:53Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240846 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1077
| date = July 4, 2012
| title = Home Organization
| image = home_organization.png
| titletext = Lifehacking!
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a take on the typical "how to" which details "how to" organize your home. In many cases, finding the best organization can be difficult and/or can take a long time. To skip this problem, Cueball "Just Gives Up" and puts all his items and furniture into a box labeled "Misc" for miscellaneous, with the exception of his laptop, cable modem and router.

The title text is a take on the popular website Lifehacker which includes all sorts of posts on how to "hack" your life and improve it. Life hacking appears to be a common theme in xkcd, such as in [[2024: Light Hacks]].

==Transcript==
:[One big plain room with a person sitting on the floor with a laptop on one side, a modem and wireless router on the other, and a big box full of the usual accoutrements of living in the middle, with "MISC" written on the side.]

:Home Organization Tip: Just Give Up.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:Tips]]

1074: Moon Landing

2022-05-04T18:36:31Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240743 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{Comic
| number = 1074
| date = June 27, 2012
| title = Moon Landing
| image = moon_landing.png
| titletext = Ok, so Spirit and Opportunity are pretty awesome. And Kepler. And New Horizons, Cassini, Curiosity, TiME, and Project M. But c'mon, if the Earth were a basketball, in 40 years no human's been more than half an inch from the surface.
}}

==Explanation==
The comment to which [[Cueball]] is referring is [https://twitter.com/neiltyson/status/73388356461019136 a tweet] by {{w|Neil deGrasse Tyson}}, an American astrophysicist and science communicator. He has appeared on many different shows, ranging from The Discovery Channel to The Big Bang Theory.

There are a number of {{w|moon landing conspiracy theories|conspiracy theories}} claiming that the moon landing was a hoax. Tyson offers a pretty compelling argument against them, but [[Megan]] presents an even more convincing refutation, snarkily implying that NASA really hasn't done anything spectacular since 1969.

And Cueball responds with a pun on the word "burn". Burn can mean a particularly effective insult, or it can mean the consumption of fuel for propulsion. In this case, the "burn" was so effective it pushed the spaceship out of orbit (which usually takes a very large amount of burning, depending on the gravity of the planet or moon).

In the title text [[Randall]] mentions many successful {{w|NASA}} unmanned missions:
*The {{w|Mars Exploration Rover|Mars rovers}} Spirit and Opportunity, which landed in 2004. Spirit got stuck in 2009 and shut down for good in 2010 (see [[695: Spirit]]). Opportunity worked for over ten years on the surface of Mars before shutting down due to a loss of power in 2018 (see [[2111: Opportunity Rover]]).
*{{w|Kepler (spacecraft)|Kepler}} found many {{w|exoplanets}}.
*{{w|New Horizons}} is a mission to the dwarf planet {{w|Pluto}} and beyond. It did a flyby of Pluto in July 2015 and is on its way out of the solar system.
*{{w|Cassini–Huygens|Cassini}} was a probe orbiting {{w|Saturn}} from 2004 until {{w|Cassini_retirement|its controlled entry into Saturn}} in 2017.
*{{w|Curiosity (rover)|Curiosity}} is another, larger Mars rover, exploring the Martian surface since August 2012.
*{{w|Titan Mare Explorer|TiME}} is a proposed mission to explore the oceans of Saturn's moon Titan.
*{{w|Project M (NASA)|Project M}} is an idea to send human-like robots to the Moon.
The final sentence of the title text notes that all manned missions since the Moon landings have taken place in low-earth orbit, which is barely far off of the Earth's surface. If the Earth were scaled to the size of a regulation basketball, approximately 24 cm (9¼ inches) in diameter, those manned missions would have all taken place within 1.25 cm (½ inch) of the ball's surface. At this scale the Moon would be at a distance of 7.7 m (25.3 ft). Unmanned missions, such as those named above or the {{w|Voyager program|Voyager}} and {{w|Mariner program|Mariner}} probes of the 1960s and 1970s, have traveled much further.

A basketball-sized Earth was the main focus of [[1515: Basketball Earth]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is sitting at a table with a laptop open. His hands are on the keys.]
:Cueball: Hah- Neil DeGrasse Tyson has a great reply to people who doubt astronauts went to the moon.
:Voice off-screen: Oh?
:Cueball: "Atop 3,000 tons of rocket fuel, where ''else'' do you think they were headed?"

:[The voice off screen turns out to be Megan. She is depicted, and now Cueball is off-screen.]
:Megan: Cute. But it overlooks an even simpler argument.
:Cueball: Which is?

:[Both Megan and Cueball are now visible. Cueball has turned his chair around to face her.]
:Megan: If NASA were willing to fake great accomplishments, they'd have a second one by now.
:Cueball: ''Ouch.''
:Megan: ...Too mean?
:Cueball: That burn was so harsh I think you deorbited.

==Trivia==
As of this comic, Tyson is the "Frederick P. Rose Director" (a special honorary title) of the {{w|Hayden Planetarium}}

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Basketball]]

1073: Weekend

2022-05-04T18:36:17Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240837 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1073
| date = June 25, 2012
| title = Weekend
| image = weekend.png
| titletext = Of the two Garfields, you wouldn't think the cat would turn out to be the more compelling presidential speechwriter, but there you go.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic was posted right after the '''weekend''', on a Monday, so it was on time to emphasize that ''we all hate Mondays''.

In the first image, there is a reference to the {{w|Loverboy}} song "{{w|Working for the Weekend}}"; both the song and the panel refer to how most working and middle-class people are constantly focused on merely surviving until Saturday with enough energy to relax properly.

[[Cueball]] then goes on to state the fact that any calendar used is just a social consensus and since nature doesn't know the day of the week he simply suggest making this Monday into a Saturday. Actually, why not make all days into Saturday, to have eternal weekends?

When you actually stop and think about the speech, the argument turns into utter nonsense. Simply renaming every day on the {{w|Gregorian Calendar}} to "Saturday" doesn't actually do anything, and "the first Saturday of the week" would carry the ''exact'' same stigma as "Monday". Furthermore, if Cueball is proposing to abolish the work week entirely, the economy would collapse within days. This fact may explain why the last panel is drawn in negative, with the background black. It gives a very ominous feeling to the last remark.

No confirmation has yet been found that any of these words are references to something from former US President {{w|James Garfield}} or to {{w|Garfield}} the cartoon cat who are the two speech writers mentioned in the title text. However, Garfield the cartoon cat has often bemoaned the existence of Monday (ironically, because he is a cat and not subject to the common human work schedule). And hence the title text suggest that this speech was written by Garfield the cat, and that this would be a better speech than any delivered by James Garfield.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball stands behind a lectern on a podium before a very large crowd.]
:Cueball: We all hate Mondays. We're all working for the weekend.
:Cueball: But our chains exist only in our minds.

:[Zoom in on Cueball from the lectern upwards, seen from an angle. He raises one hand in explanation. His text goes above the frame and is written in the top part of this panel which is frame-less.]
:Cueball: Calendars are just social consensus.
:Cueball: Nature doesn't know the day of the week.

:[Closer zoom on Cueball who looks straight out of the panel, the top of the lectern is just visible.]
:Cueball: My friends—
:Cueball: We can make today Saturday.

:[Extreme close-up, the lectern now below the panel, and negative colors with Cueball and the text in white on a black background.]
:Cueball: We can make it Saturday ''forever''.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Public speaking]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Psychology]]
[[Category:Calendar]]

1072: Seventies

2022-05-04T18:35:44Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 240877 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1072
| date = June 22, 2012
| title = Seventies
| image = seventies.png
| titletext = Hey, man, the 1670s called. They were like 'Wherefore this demonic inſtrument? By what ſorcery does it produce ſuch ſounds?"
}}

==Explanation==
This is a take on the common insult "<year> called and they want their <item> back", used when one is wearing something out of fashion (used before in [[875: 2009 Called]]). In this case, the comment is ''literally'' true: someone in the '70s called, but did not leave a message. Instead, the caller is puzzled because answering machines and especially voicemail were rare or nonexistent in the 1970s, and his telephone has a {{w|rotary dial}}, rather than a {{w|touch tone}}, so he can't "press" 1.

The caller is wearing flared ("bell bottom") trousers, which are frequently associated with 1970s fashion. The caller is somehow using time travel to directly dial a number in the present.

Originally telephones had rotary dials instead of buttons, hence the origin of the terms "dial tone" and "to dial a number". Touch tone phones were introduced in the 1960s, but weren't standard in many places until the 1980s. Rotary dial telephones used {{w|pulse dialing}} to transmit numbers and push-button telephones use {{w|Dual-tone_multi-frequency_signaling|DTMF}} (although phones from the '80s and '90s could often use both). Modern {{w|voicemail}} systems regularly don't support pulse dialing, so even selecting "1" on the rotary dial would not choose "1" in the voicemail menu system.

The title text plays off the fact that the telephone had not yet been invented in the 17th century: in fact, all of the component technologies, including the materials used for the casing, were unknown at that point, and therefore the telephone is assumed to be supernatural in origin ("demonic... ſorcery"). Randall uses the character "ſ", the {{w|long s}}, which was used in written English to take the place of the modern lowercase "s" in the beginning and middle of words. It was phased out around the beginning of the 19th century.

==Transcript==
:Cueball: Nice jacket. Hey–
:Cueball: The seventies called.
:Out-of-panel: Oh? What'd they want?

:[Cueball looks at his smartphone, holding it in his hand.]
:Cueball: I don't know. They didn't leave a message.
:Out-of-panel: Weird.

:1974:
:[A person in bell bottoms, who has no jacket, looks at a rotary phone receiver.]
:Voicemail service: If you'd like to leave a message, press "1".

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Phones]]

1069: Alphabet

2022-05-04T18:35:31Z

BlackBeret: Undo revision 241210 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1069
| date = June 15, 2012
| title = Alphabet
| image = alphabet.png
| titletext = Do I get to remove letters entirely? Or just rearrange them? Because the 'k/c' situation is ridiculous. Look, we can make out whenever. This is *immortality*!}}

==Explanation==
This comic is mainly a joke on the traditional {{w|pick-up line}} that goes: "Baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together", i.e. "you and I", or "the letter U and the letter I".

However, in typical [[xkcd]] fashion, rather than continuing with that tired pickup line, addressed at [[Blondie]] at the bar, [[Cueball]] jumps at his hypothetical chance to rearrange the alphabet and fix the {{w|English orthography}}.

An {{w|orthography}} is a standardized system for using a particular {{w|writing}} system (script) to write a particular language, including rules of spelling. The English orthography happens to be one of the deepest (that is, most irregular) ones around, since almost every sound can be spelled in several ways, and most spellings and all letters can be pronounced in more than one way, and often in many different ways.

So faced with this opportunity, the hooking up could wait. Restructuring the alphabet and creating a sensibly regular English spelling is the chance of a lifetime, and would make history, making Cueball immortal in the sense of living on forever in memory, as the alphabet-fixer.

In the title text Cueball muses on the possibilities. Does he get to remove letters entirely or just rearrange them (like putting U and I together)? Then he mentions "the 'k/c' situation" specifically because that "situation is ridiculous". This is about the use of the letter 'c'. It doesn't have a unique sound, and most often makes a {{w|Voiceless velar stop|'k'-sound}} or an {{w|Voiceless alveolar sibilant|'s'-sound}}. Combined with an 'h' it usually makes the {{w|Voiceless palato-alveolar affricate|'ch'-sound}} in ''chair'', but also they often sound like 'k' (''character''), and in not too few cases they even make the {{w|Voiceless palato-alveolar sibilant|'sh'-sound}} (like ''champagne'', [http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Words_with_the_letters_ch_that_sound_like_sh see more examples here]). So a reasonable change Cueball might make is to replace 'c' by 'k' or 's', and keep 'c' only followed by 'h' (or even giving 'c' the current sound of 'ch' as in ''chair'' or giving the role of 'ch' as in ''chair'' to 'kh', spelling 'khair')''.

He finishes off by stating that they can make out any other time, because fixing the alphabet now would bring him immortality.

Orthography was again the subject in [[1562: I in Team]]. A non-standard version of this pickup joke was previously referenced in [[279: Pickup Lines]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball stands behind Blondie who has turned her head towards him while sitting at a bar stool at a bar desk. She holds on to a wine glass standing on the desk. Two regular glasses are standing on the desk in front of her.]
:Cueball: Baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd forget about you in a ''heartbeat''.
:Cueball: I'm not gonna waste my one chance to help the mess that is English orthography.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Blondie]]
[[Category:Language]]