explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1493: Meeting

2015-03-03T16:48:45Z

Bluewin: Elaborated on the "If Beret Guy is immortal" line.

{{comic
| number = 1493
| date = March 2, 2015
| title = Meeting
| image = meeting.png
| titletext = Here at CompanyName.website, our three main strengths are our web-facing chairs, our huge collection of white papers, and the fact that we physically cannot die.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Beret Guy]]'s business, as previously seen in [[1032: Networking]] and [[1293: Job Interview]], is going well, although it is unclear why. The common theme in these three comics is that Beret Guy misuses common business cliches. The following are examples and phrases that [[Randall]] is likely making a joke about:

* "If you're reading this, the webserver was installed correctly." When a web server is installed automatically (like apache using apt-get), it typically comes with a minimal configuration meant to deliver a single page saying all is working fine. Usually, a company will then configure the web server to provide actual meaningful content. It appears that in this case Beret Guy's company kept the page as is, but also trademarked the sentence as the company's motto, and proudly displays it under the company logo.

* "Welcome to a meeting!" The usual way to start a meeting is to welcome the participants by telling them in which meeting they are (e.g. "Welcome to the meeting on ..."). Here, the complete lack of specifics in this sentence is an indication that the meeting has, in fact, no purpose at all, except to be just "A meeting". It could also mean that Beret Guy does not know the proper way to welcome people to a meeting.

* "I'm almost out of words so I'll keep this short." A common theme in the busy world of business is lack of time, so "I'm almost out of time" would be a valid reason for keeping a meeting short, rather than a finite quantity of words. Aside from the fictional movie [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Thousand_Words_%28film%29 A Thousand Words] or people taking a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vow_of_silence Vow of Silence], people usually don't have a particular quota on the number of words they have or can use.

* "Just wanna touch bases." Often business professions will contact a customer to "touch base," meaning to check in for a status update. The use of the plural "bases" suggests Beret Guy does not know what this means. This could also be a word play on the expression "Cover some bases".

* "Self-driving car project" Google has been working on self-driving cars, which usually shouldn't be lost track of and found by the police. The fact that it was launched "by accident" is concerning (implying the car was turned on by mistake and then left unattended, or perhaps that a driver of one of their cars fell asleep or otherwise stopped controlling the vehicle), and the involvement of the police during carpool hours implies that the car crashed or otherwise obstructed traffic.

* "Sales, any luck figuring out who our customers are?" In the real world, when companies want to find out "who [their] customers are", they are talking about learning more about their existing customers in order to more closely match these customers' needs, and to discover ways to attract more of them. Here, Beret Guy and [[Ponytail]] apparently use the phrase literally. In a normal enterprise, however, money doesn't usually appear from nowhere, and most businesses would be very unsettled if their cash flow was from an unknown source.

* "Cool red beetle in the hallway" Beret Guy might be referring to seeing an insect. But given his continually surreal world, he might have instead seen a red Volkswagen Beetle, meaning there is an actual car in the hallway. This also matches with the "self-driving car project", potentially explaining why the car is inside the building. Randall's all-caps lettering hides the "beetle" versus "Beetle" distinction.

* "Bug tracker" usually refers to systems used to track discovery, analysis, and fixing of software bugs (errors and problems), not the location of physical objects (be they insects or Volkswagen Beetles which are nicknamed "bugs").

* "Web-facing" (title text) usually refers to software or a server that is connected to the internet using a web interface. However, in this case the term is applied to chairs placed in front of a computer with internet browsing capability.

* "White papers" (title text) are usually policy recommendations, but here Beret Guy is likely talking about actual (near-worthless) blank white pieces of paper.

* "Main strengths" (title text) typically refer to one's skills, but "we physically cannot die" refers to the fact that incorporated companies are in a sense anthropomorphised—they're legally treated as "persons", with the ability to sue and be sued in civil courts. Or that Beret Guy is literally immortal, in which case that would indeed be a great asset which could be used in a variety of ways, from things like making a one man army (who could stop you?) to investing for a long long time. On that note, if Beret Guy IS immortal, perhaps many (many) years ago (before his mind got wonky?) he might have invested a lot of money in mutual funds and the like and is finally noticing the large amount of interest that has accrued. This would partly explain why there is lots of money coming in without any customers.

There is an alternative explanation for the company portrayed: it is run by computers. This explains the misinterpretations of language, the empty chair, the non-traceable money (perhaps from other computers) and the self-driving car project.

==Trivia==
"CompanyName.website" is actually a domain name that was registered on 2014-11-20 and [http://companyname.website which redirects to xkcd.com]. Presumably, it is owned by Randall, for the same reason as in [[305]].

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy is shown in silhouette. Above Beret Guy there is a black sign with white (and grey) text. Above this is his address to those in the meeting:]
:Beret Guy: Welcome to a meeting! I'm almost out of words, so I'll keep this short. Just wanna touch bases.
:[White text in the black sign (''.website'' in grey):]
:CompanyName.website
:''If you're reading this, the web''
:''server was installed correctly.''TM

:[Beret Guy stands in front of an office chair and a table talking]
:Beret Guy: First, a few updates. We've learned from the state police that the self-driving car project we launched by accident during this morning's carpool has come to an end about 90 miles outside of town. Very exciting!

:[Pony tail sits at the table.]
:Beret Guy [off-panel]: Profits are up. Sales, any luck figuring out who our customers are?
:Ponytail: Nope. Money keeps appearing, but we have no idea how or why.
:Beret Guy [off-panel]: Great!

:[Back to the situation from frame two]
:Beret Guy: Oh, and one last thing— I saw a cool red beetle in the hall. Can someone add it to the bug tracker?
:[person off-panel]: Just did!
:Beret Guy: Thanks!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Beret Guy's Business]]

819: Five-Minute Comics: Part 1

2014-08-14T15:39:11Z

Bluewin: Added possible interpretation of Cueball's statement "we start a reintroduction program"

{{comic
| number = 819
| date = November 15, 2010
| title = Five-Minute Comics: Part 1
| image = five minute comics part 1.png
| titletext = The wolves thin the RAID arrays, removing the slowest and weakest disks to keep the average seek speed high.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the first of three "five-minute comics" posts Randall made during November 2010.

*In astronomy, an "approach" is when two bodies come abnormally close to one another, but not close enough to crash. {{w|Jupiter}}, as most probably know, is the fifth planet in our solar system. Its approach to Earth in September 2010 was the closest seen in many years - in fact, the next time it will come that close will be in 2022. In the comic, this is indicated by Jupiter hovering right above Earth and talking to the characters.
:Of course, Jupiter is not only planet-sized, but is ''enormous'' compared to Earth; in fact, Earth would fit quite comfortably into the {{w|Atmosphere of Jupiter#Great Red Spot|red spot}} of Jupiter.
:Gravitational slingshots are used by deep-space probes to gain speed by approaching a planet and then leaving that planet; the gravity fields of the sun and the planet changes the trajectory of the probe, and the end result is an extremely fuel-efficient way of gaining speed during space travel. Jupiter is commonly used for this purpose because it's the most massive planet in our solar system.

*The comic in the middle left features the lyrics to the Johnny Cash song {{w|A Boy Named Sue}}, but with "Sue" replaced with "Trig." Inexplicably, [http://wiki.name.com/en/Trig Trig] is a name that people actually give their children. The most notable example in the US - and probably the inspiration for Randall drawing this comic - is Trig Palin, the son of Alaskan politician Sarah Palin. Trig is also a widely-accepted abbreviation for the mathematical field of {{w|trigonometry}}, and it sounds similar to "twig," so one can imagine how a person with such a name might be ridiculed.

*A child getting trapped in a well is an alien experience to some parts of the Western world, but it's quite a serious problem in places where wells are commonplace. Here, though, rather than attempt to rescue the little girl, Cueball instead tries to grant her wish of owning a pony before her imminent demise; a pony is a stereotypical thing for a little girl to want. Of course, since ponies don't fit into wells too easily, he has to stuff it in, which appears to be quite painful for the pony.

*The server room of a large datacenter is an unusual place to return "back to nature", to say the least. {{w|Reintroduction}} refers to the process of taking a population of animals raised in captivity and bringing them back to the wild; this is a delicate process, as being raised in captivity affects the natural development of skills the animal needs to survive. In fact, Wikipedia has a page specifically about the challenges of {{w|wolf reintroduction}}.
:Needless to say, reintroducing wolves to a server room is neither a good idea nor OSHA-approved.
:Cueball may also be referencing a computer program named "reintroduction" or something similar when he says "We started a reintroduction program"
:The title-text refers to the wolves thinning the RAID array. A {{w|RAID|RAID array}} is a way of spreading data redundantly across multiple hard drives, such that 100% of the data is still recoverable if some number of drives go down. This number can be set arbitrarily, as long as you have at least one more disk than the number you want, but it reduces your total storage space accordingly. The seek speed of a drive is how fast it can find a specific point of data on its platter; thus, the wolves are essentially killing the slowest drives, implementing a kind of natural selection to "evolve" the drives to be faster.

*Directly below the previous comic, Cueball is telling a "yo mama" joke. Such jokes are usually told in jest, and aren't really targeted at a particular person's mother; however, in this case, Cueball ''was'' attempting to make an honest observation about the listener's mother, and when he discovers his mistake, he realizes that she is, in fact, quite a nice person.

*{{w|Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart}} wrote an opera called ''{{w|The Magic Flute}}'', though the comic seems to attribute it to {{w|Johann Sebastian Bach|Bach}}. {{w|Richard Wagner}} wrote a series of operas called {{w|Der Ring des Nibelungen}}, or, more commonly, the ring cycle. Here, Randall interprets the ring cycle as some kind of motorcycle, while the teleporting magic flute comes from video games: in both ''The Legend of Zelda'' and ''Super Mario Bros. 3'', the player can obtain a magic flute item that has teleportation powers. In the Magic Tree House series, the magic flute is an actual magical flute that does magic when played, although it does not teleport people.
:The caption implies that even Randall is not sure what meaning this comic has.
:However, as he has made a mash up of Mozart, Bach and Wagner - this must be intentionally - so ''he'' does not attribute the Magic Flute to Bach!

*This comic shows how people rate the "hotness" of girls. Glamour magazines have desensitized many people to photo-edited models with large amounts of make-up, so the model gets a "meh" reaction. The girl in biology class, by contrast, is not only "real" by comparison, but is actually a viable choice for dating, so she is given a 2 star rating. If the same girl from bio class is wearing your shirt, that usually means you've had sex the night before, and she spent the night at your apartment, hence the need to get dressed in one of your shirts; this possibility earns the highest rating, 4 stars.
:Here it starts taking a turn for the worse. If wearing one of ''your'' shirts means she spent the night with ''you'', logically, wearing one of your ''mom's'' shirts means she spent the night with ''your mom''. This earns a "Wat!" reaction.
:Finally, human skin is not generally designed to detach from its owner. If the girl from your bio class is wearing your mom's skin like a suit, it means she probably murdered your mom and skinned her. Both of these actions are considerably illegal, and quite likely indicate a serious mental instability. To this, Cueball can only scream.

==Transcript==
Because of a family illness, instead of regular comics, this week I'll be sharing some strips that I drew as part of a game I played with friends. Each comic had to be written and drawn in five minutes. -- Randall

====Comic #1====
:[Cueball and Megan stand facing each other.]
:Cueball: Jupiter will make its closest approach to Earth in decades.

:[Cueball points behind Megan, and she turns around.]
:Cueball: In fact, here it comes now!

:[Jupiter, about the size of the characters' heads, hovers into the frame at about head-height.]
:Jupiter: Hey, guys.

:[Jupiter continues to hover through the frame as the characters watch it go.]
:Jupiter: Anyone need a gravitational slingshot?
:Megan: No, I'm good.
:Jupiter: Aight.

====Comic #2====
:[Cueball sits on a box, playing a guitar.]
:Cueball: ...Now I don't blame him 'cause he ran and hid,
:Cueball: but the meanest thing that he ever did
:Cueball: was before he left, he went and named me "Trig."

====Comic #3====
:[Cueball looks down a well.]
:Cueball: Oh God, a little girl is trapped down this well!

:[Cueball runs off screen.]

:[Cueball returns, leading a pony.]
:Cueball: It's okay, we got you that pony you always wanted!

:[Cueball tries to cram the pony down the well with the aid of a large stick.]
:Cueball: Get... in... there...
:Cueball: Ugh!

====Comic #4====
:[Cueball and Megan stand in a server room. ]
:Cueball: I like to get back to nature by coming out here to the server room.
:Cueball: The warmth, the whirr of the drives, the drone of the fans, the howl of the wolves...
:Megan: Wolves?
:Cueball: Yeah, we started a reintroduction program.
:Wolf: Awoooooo

====Comic #5====
:[Cueball stands by himself in the frame.]
:Cueball: Yo momma's so masculine that she... oh, wait, that's your dad.
:Cueball: Is your mom the lady over by the door? Aww, she looks nice!

====Comic #6====
:[Cueball runs toward another man who is wearing a powdered wig, holding a gun in one hand, and a flute in the other. Behind him, someone is chasing him on a motorcycle.]
:Cueball: Bach, activate the magic flute and teleport us home! Wagner's right behind me on his Ring Cycle!

:Why did I ''draw'' this?

====Comic #7====
:Hotness Ratings:
:[A close up of a girl with wavy hair.]
:Incredibly made-up girl on magazine cover.
:[Inset of Cueball: "Meh."]

:[An average girl.]
:Girl in your bio class.
:[Inset of Cueball: "Two stars."]

:[Girl with mussed hair in over-sized men's shirt.]
:Girl in your bio class wearing one of your shirts.
:Girl: Want some breakfast?
:[Cueball: "Four stars."]

:[Girl with another sort of shirt speaking to an older lady.]
:Girl in your bio class wearing one of your mom's shirts.
:Girl: Thanks for the great night.
:[Cueball: "Wat!"]

:[Creepy-looking girl.]
:Girl in your bio class wearing your mom's skin like a suit.
:Girl: Give Mommy a hug!
:[Cueball, screaming: "AAAAAAAA"]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Your Mom]]
[[Category:Five-minute comics]]

453: Upcoming Hurricanes

2014-08-14T14:56:28Z

Bluewin: Replaced "Hurricane Freud" with ''Hurricane Freud'' in the explanation, italisizing it

{{comic
| number = 453
| date = July 23, 2008
| title = Upcoming Hurricanes
| image = upcoming_hurricanes.png
| titletext = I'd like to see more damage assessments for hurricanes hitting New York and flooding Manhattan -- something like the 1938 Long Island Express, but aimed a bit more to the west. It's just a matter of time.
}}

==Explanation==
It must have been {{w|Atlantic hurricane season|hurricane season}} in the United States!

This comic gives some ideas on upcoming {{w|Tropical cyclone|hurricane}} paths on an unlabelled map that shows the region roughly between central {{w|Canada}} and northern {{w|Brazil}}. Red dotted lines indicates possible hurricane paths.

''Hurricane Where-The-Hell-Is-Bermuda'' enters from the east side of the map, wanders around the {{w|Atlantic Ocean}} in a scribble that seems to take the shape of an {{w|Ampersand}}. Then it goes north for a while, and then peters out without entering the {{w|Bermuda Triangle}}. The Bermuda Triangle is a location in the Atlantic Ocean loosely framed by the three corners {{w|Bermuda}}, {{w|Miami}} and {{w|Puerto Rico}}. The myth is that (too) many ships and planes get lost once they enter inside the area of this triangle and disappear without a trace. In this case the hurricane gets lost before entering and can't even find the triangle.

''Hurricane Illinois-Has-It-Too-Easy'' comes from somewhere to the north-west, goes through {{w|Illinois}}, and then back to the north-west. This hurricane, while actually impossible, comes from Canada to strike {{w|Chicago}}, Illinois, before heading back to Canada. As hurricanes never hits Illinois this particular hurricane "think" they have too easy a time in this particular state. Interestingly enough, (though it did not affect the Chicago area or correspond with the path displayed in the comic), roughly one year later a {{w|Derecho|Super derecho}}, a storm resembling a hurricane or tropical storm in movement and form, struck central and South Illinois, in addition to much of {{w|Missouri}} and {{w|Kansas}}: {{w|May 2009 Southern Midwest derecho}}.

''Hurricane Freud'' refers to {{w|Sigmund Freud}}, who believed that accidental sexual expression was a reflection of the unconscious mind's sexual desires. The hurricane's path forms a pair of testicles beside Florida. Florida, due to its shape and location, can be said to resemble a penis, and the hurricane's shape and position exemplify Freud's ideas.

''Hurricane Screw-It-Let's-Just-Trash-Florida-Again'' comes from the east, starts to curve to the north, and then turns sharply to head straight for Florida and zigzag through it four times before dying out. Sticking out from the rest of the US, Florida is in a nice spot to get hurricanes from the East, South, and West. And with the state not being very high or wide, it is common for a hurricane to run over Florida, lose some strength, then rebuild strength over the hot waters in the Gulf of Mexico, only to do a U-turn and strike again. This is not exactly what happens with this particular hurricane, where it turns out into the Atlantic Ocean again each time. Just proving that it only wish to strike Florida!

''Hurricane Red'' and ''Hurricane Blue'' (which is the only hurricane path drawn in blue), are playing a game zipping in straight lines and right angles around {{w|Haiti}}, {{w|Jamaica}}, and {{w|Cuba}}. When ''Red'' successfully cuts off ''Blue'', the latter instantly dies, and then ''Red'' dies shortly thereafter. The game they play is the game of {{w|Tron_(video_game)#Light_Cycles|Light Cycles}} from the {{w|Tron_(video_game)|video game}} based on the movie {{w|Tron}}. ''Hurricane Blue'' lost because it crashed into the wall of light left by ''Hurricane Red's'' {{w|Light_Cycle#Light_cycles|light cycle}}.

''Hurricane Cos(x)'' forms a curve in the shape of a {{w|sinusoid}} above the bottom edge of the map. Its path resembles a {{w|sine}} wave. This kind of {{w|trigonometric functions}} can, however, both be expressed as sin(x) or cos(x), the latter being a {{w|cosine wave}}. They look exactly the same when there is no clearly defined coordinate system as in this case - see [[#Trivia|trivia]] below.

The title text refers to the {{w|1938 New England hurricane}} (also known as the Long Island Express), that caused $4.7 billion in damage. Had it been further west it could have caused more damage as the right side of a hurricane is stronger and more destructive than the left side as the winds on the right side push water inland. [[Randall]] asks for more damage assessments for such a hurricane that would be able to flood {{w|Manhattan}} in {{w|New York}}. Only four years after this cartoon was published, making it almost prophetic, {{w|Hurricane Sandy}} did strike the {{w|New York metropolitan area|New York–New Jersey area}} as a {{w|post-tropical cyclone}} storm. Hurricane Sandy causing an estimated $74 billion in damage.

The 1938 hurricane is also [[980:_Money/Transcript#Disasters|referenced]] in [[980: Money]] where it is calculated that it would have caused $78 billion had it happened in 2011. However, if that hurricane had taken the same turn as Sandy did, the cost today could have been a staggering $237 billion.

==Transcript==
:[An unlabelled map shows the region roughly between central Canada and northern Brazil. Dotted lines indicating hurricane paths cover the map, all red except Hurricane Blue which is blue. Each line is labelled - here follows the labels as they appear from the top and down:]
:Hurricane Where-the-Hell-Is-Bermuda
:Hurricane Illinois-Has-It-Too-Easy
:Hurricane Freud
:Hurricane Screw-It-Let's-Just-Trash-Florida-Again
:Hurricane Red
:Hurricane Blue
:Hurricane cos(x)

==Trivia==
*Regarding Hurricane cos(x):
**If {{w|Equator}} is the x-axis and the y-axis goes through the {{w|Prime meridian}} of {{w|Prime meridian (Greenwich)|Greenwich}} it would be possible to say if this was a true cosine function hurricane.
**A cosine would be 1 (the maximum value) at x=0 (i.e. the maximum value would occur under {{w|Greenwich}}), whereas a sine would be 0 at x=0.
**If it had been a basic cos(x) without any constants added, then it should have been centered along the equator instead of as it is - ranging from about 5.5° to 9.5° north {{w|latitude}}.
**But if the formula was of the form a*cos(b*x)+c with a, b and c given constant, the wave could move to the center of this range with c=7.5°. With the constant a=2° the wave would move between the max and minimum of the range, and then b could be chosen to make the wave length fit with the path shown in the map.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Hurricanes]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Penis]]

Talk:206: Reno Rhymes

2014-08-12T18:50:18Z

Bluewin: Lai can also mean "poem", so the comic's punchline might have a double meaning

my Lai may also be a reference to Lai's definition, " a lyrical, narrative poem written in octosyllabic couplets that often deals with tales of adventure and romance." Can anyone tell if the poem in the comic fits the Lai's definition? If so, then Black Hat might also be saying "I shot a man in Reno, and a bunch more in my poem", referencing the poem they're saying. ----

1011: Baby Names

2014-08-08T11:55:46Z

Bluewin: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1011
| date = February 1, 2012
| title = Baby Names
| image = baby names.png
| titletext = I've been trying for a couple years now but I haven't been able to come up with a name dumber than 'Renesmee'.
}}

==Explanation==

The punchline for this one is in the title text as Renesmee is the name of {{w|Renesmee_Cullen#Renesmee_Cullen|Renesmee Cullen}}, who is the baby born in the book and movie {{w|Breaking Dawn}} to parents Edward and Bella. Edward and Bella get "Renesmee" from an amalgamation of the names of Bella's mother, Renée, and Edward's adoptive mother, Esme.

[[Randall]]'s point above stands. All those names are terrible, but not nearly as terrible as the name Renesmee.

A further analysis on baby names are presented by Randall at his Blag (Blog) here: [http://blog.xkcd.com/2014/01/31/the-baby-name-wizard/ The Baby Name Wizard].

* Ponzi - An Italian surname, most often associated with "Ponzi scheme".
* Eeemily - A corruption of "Emily". May also be a marketing plug.
* Fire Fire - Even a single "Fire" would be odd as a name, at least in the American dialects. It would also not be a good idea to call your child's name in a crowded place.
* Chipotla - A reference to chipotle seasoning, or perhaps the very popular restaurant.
* Astamouthe - Could be pronounced "Ass to mouth".
* Eggsperm - A child is conceived by combining an egg and a sperm, this child's name is conceived by combining the names of the two things.
* [sound of record scratch] - This cannot be spelled or reliably pronounced.
* Parsley - A seasoning.
* Hot'n'Juicy Ann - "Ann" is a normal name. Prefacing it with the sexual "Hot'n'Juicy" part is not normal.
* Ovari - Female reproductive organ, misspelled.
* Friendly - Odd enough on its own, but when referring to her possessions it would create confusion with the restaurant {{w|Friendly's}}. Can also be humorous in introductions - "Hi I'm Friendly"
* Sean (pronounced "seen") - While this isn't an incorrect pronunciation, the more common pronunciation would be "Shawn".
* Joyst - Corruption of "Joyce".

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sits at a desk, thinking with his hand on his chin, his other hand holding a pen over a piece of paper. Megan stands behind him, looking over his shoulder, also with her hand on her chin.]

:[Above the drawing is the list they are writing by hand.]

:Names for daughter

:# Ponzi
:# Eeemily
:# Fire Fire
:# Chipotla
:# Astamouthe
:# Eggsperm
:# [sound of record scratch]
:# Parsley
:# Hot'n'Juicy Ann
:# Ovari
:# Friendly
:# Sean (pronounced "seen")
:# Joyst

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Charts]]

523: Decline

2014-08-03T21:22:57Z

Bluewin: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 523
| date = December 29, 2008
| title = Decline
| image = decline.png
| titletext = 'There is also a spike on the Fourier transformation at the one month mark where--' 'You want to stop talking right now.'
}}

==Explanation==

[[Cueball]], apparently concerned about the status of his romantic relationship, has constructed a "relationship graph" plotting an ambiguously quantitative metric for love and/or affection against time. He has identified a sudden drop. Cueball's romantic partner (probably [[Megan]]) notes from off screen that the drop corresponds to the moment Cueball's obsession with graphs began. He claims the two events are coincidental, thereby referencing the recurring xkcd theme of [[552: Correlation|correlation not necessarily implying causation]].

The {{w|Fourier transform}} is a technique for discovering the periodic characteristic(s) of a function. A spike at one month on the Fourier transform of the love graph would mean that something happens every month that causes the relationship to change. This is presumably a reference to Megan's {{w|menstrual cycle}}, that is, her 'time of the month,' stereotypically depicted as having a woman uncharacteristically crabby or moody at that time.

[[26: Fourier|Fourier transformations were mentioned previously in ''xkcd''.]]

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is pointing at a line graph at a specific point where it slopes down. The y-axis shows that as y increases, love increases.]
:Cueball: Our relationship entered its decline at this point.
:Megan [Outside of panel]: That's when you started graphing everything.
:Cueball: Coincidence!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Romance]]

523: Decline

2014-08-03T21:22:36Z

Bluewin: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 523
| date = December 29, 2008
| title = Decline
| image = decline.png
| titletext = 'There is also a spike on the Fourier transformation at the one month mark where--' 'You want to stop talking right now.'
}}

==Explanation==

[[Cueball]], apparently concerned about the status of his romantic relationship, has constructed a "relationship graph" plotting an ambiguously quantitative metric for love and/or affection against time. He has identified a sudden drop. Cueball's romantic partner (probably[[Megan]]) notes from off screen that the drop corresponds to the moment Cueball's obsession with graphs began. He claims the two events are coincidental, thereby referencing the recurring xkcd theme of [[552: Correlation|correlation not necessarily implying causation]].

The {{w|Fourier transform}} is a technique for discovering the periodic characteristic(s) of a function. A spike at one month on the Fourier transform of the love graph would mean that something happens every month that causes the relationship to change. This is presumably a reference to Megan's {{w|menstrual cycle}}, that is, her 'time of the month,' stereotypically depicted as having a woman uncharacteristically crabby or moody at that time.

[[26: Fourier|Fourier transformations were mentioned previously in ''xkcd''.]]

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is pointing at a line graph at a specific point where it slopes down. The y-axis shows that as y increases, love increases.]
:Cueball: Our relationship entered its decline at this point.
:Megan [Outside of panel]: That's when you started graphing everything.
:Cueball: Coincidence!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Romance]]

70: Guitar Hero

2014-07-19T16:14:38Z

Bluewin: Added last sentence in third paragraph

{{comic
| number = 70
| date = March 1, 2006
| title = Guitar Hero
| image = Guitar hero.jpg
| titletext = And then do it again in a moment now that they're out of Star Power.
}}

==Explanation==

''{{w|Guitar Hero}}'' is a series of video games (originally a single game) currently distributed by {{w|Activision}}. In the game, players simulate playing the guitar on famous guitar songs using a plastic guitar-shaped controller with five color-coded buttons on the neck representing guitar frets and a rocker bar on the body simulating a strumming motion. The game now includes other instruments such as drums and vocals, although not at the time this comic was published.

While playing the game, an animated band is shown on the upper half of the screen and an extended guitar neck is shown vertically on the bottom half of the screen screen the frets horizontal, often called the "note highway". As the song progresses, colored markers or "gems" indicating notes travel down the screen in time with the music; the note colors and positions match the five fret keys on the guitar controller. Once the notes reach the bottom, the player must play the indicated notes by holding down the correct fret buttons and hitting the strumming bar in order to score points.

In this comic, [[Randall Munroe|Randall]] suggests that, were he in a real rock band, he would perform a mellow song but intentionally put a complicated guitar solo in, not for musical value, but solely to antagonise ''Guitar Hero'' players with an impossible solo. As the comic suggests, a random flailing would likely make for a very difficult passage to play in ''Guitar Hero''. This is highlighted by the previous statement that the song would otherwise be mellow, lulling the player into a false sense that the song was easy to play and relaxing. Even worse for Guitar Hero players, if there was anyone who is good enough to play the solo, he would still have no fun playing the song if it is otherwise very mellow.

The title text refers to a mechanic in Guitar Hero called "Star Power." Normally, when a player misses too many notes in a short time, their character is booed off the stage and they have to restart. Using Star Power temporarily boosts the score from each note, so the player can clear a difficult section of the song even if they haven't hit most of the notes. So, when faced with Randall's impossible guitar solo, most players will immediately use Star Power to survive it. However, it takes time to build up Star Power and it all gets expended at once, so if the song has a second stretch of wild flailing, the player won't be able to escape and will fail.

==Transcript==
:[On a stage, a guy with a beard is in the background, holding a microphone. In the center is a guy with an electric guitar. The catwalk has bumps to resemble the tracks of Guitar Hero.]
:When I'm in a rock band, I'm gonna do a cool, mellow song. Then in the middle I'll stop, announce "this part is just to be an asshole to people playing Guitar Hero," and then flail wildly on the strings for 30 seconds.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Guitar Hero]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

1086: Eyelash Wish Log

2014-07-07T14:28:37Z

Bluewin: added a link to M. C. Escher's lithograph House of Stairs

{{comic
| number = 1086
| date = July 25, 2012
| title = Eyelash Wish Log
| image = eyelash wish log.png
| titletext = Ooh, another one. Uh... the ability to alter any coefficients of friction at will during sporting events.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is based on the situation that when someone's eyelash falls out, that person can make a wish on it. This comic appears to be a page from the fictitious Wish Bureau in charge of granting said wishes. And of course the Wisher is [[Black Hat]] and he has quite a few wishes, most of them based on the previous wish. A common trope in fiction is that wishing for more wishes is prohibited and for many of his wishes [[Black Hat]] attempts to circumvent that.

February 12's wish seems to be a reference to the unlimited {{w|breadsticks}} offered at {{w|Olive Garden}}.

February 27's wish relates to a common practice especially in tweets or other short length media where full length specific HTML addresses such as www.somewhere.com/articles/specificdate/the page.html would not be feasible. So a more compressed but often less sensical string of seemingly random characters is used which links to a link of the full text address. This creates some problems for people who are security or privacy conscious and prefer to be informed beforehand where they will be traveling on the Internet. It is analogous to a twisting set of watersides. Some water parks label where they end up and what style of ride it is (the doom tunnel vs the kiddy kicker). Imagine however you're wanting a nice ride ending in shallow water. You could not readily predict the unlabelled ride as it twists out of sight if the label is gibberish. You might end up thinking your attempt to go down the Bay Watch slide might end you up in Pamela's porn pool, which could be well over your head.

March 7's wish is a reference to {{w|Nate Silver}}, who is a former writer for {{w|Baseball Prospectus}} working on predicting baseball players' stats and now writes for {{w|Five Thirty Eight}} in which he predicts the outcome of elections based on polling data.

March 15th's wish refers to the {{w|lithograph}} {{w|Relativity_(M._C._Escher)|Relativity}} by {{w|M. C. Escher}}, or perhaps another of his lithographs, {{w|House of Stairs}}

And April 22's wish is a reference to the cartoon and video game series {{w|Pokémon}}. A Pokéball can be thrown at a Pokémon (or in this case, a pet that the Pokéball thrower finds either annoying or cute) to capture/contain it and/or achieve ownership of it. In most cases, Pokéballs cannot be used on Pokémon owned by other people.

The title text is a reference to how people often want a ball to either go in or out in a sporting event they are not a part of. Normally, spectators of a game are not actually in the game, but always think that they can somehow influence the game superstitiously, such as perhaps yelling out jinx whenever the opposing team makes a shot, even though if you are watching the game from a television, that would have no effect. By wishing for power over friction, a spectator would have control over what transpires during a sporting match, as, for example in baseball, if the spectator's team of choice was up to bat, friction could be set to zero after the ball was hit, thus insuring a much easier home run. Or set to a much higher value when the opposing team is up.

==Transcript==
{|
! align="left" colspan="2" |Eyelash Wish Log
|-style="color: gray;"
|
|align="right"|Wish bureau ID#:
|-
|
|align="right"|21118378
|-style="color: gray;"
|
|align="right"|Date range:
|-
!scope="row" style="color: gray;"|Wisher
|align="right"|Jan-Apr 2012
|}

{|
!align="left" width="50px"|Date
!align="left"|Wish
|-
|Jan 09
|That wishing on eyelashes worked
|-
|Jan 12
|A pony
|-
|Jan 15
|Unlimited wishes
|-
|Jan 19
|Revocation of rules prohibiting unlimited wishes
|-
|Jan 20
|A finite but arbitrarily large number of wishes
|-
|Jan 28
|The power to dictate the rules governing wishes
|-
|Feb 05
|Unlimited eyelashes
|-
|Feb 06
|That wish-granting entities be required to interpret wishes in accordance with the intent of the wisher
|-
|Feb 08
|That wish-granting entities be incapable of impatience
|-
|Feb 12
|Unlimited breadsticks
|-
|Feb 12
|Veto power over others' wishes
|-
|Feb 19
|Veto power over others' wishes and all congressional legislation
|-
|Feb 23
|The power to override any veto
|-
|Feb 27
|The power to see where any shortened URL goes without clicking
|-
|Feb 29
|The power to control the direction news anchors are looking while they talk
|-
|Mar 07
|The power to introduce arbitrary error into Nate Silver's predictions
|-
|Mar 15
|A house of stairs
|-
|Mar 23
|A universe which is a replica of this one sans rules against meta-wishes
|-
|Mar 29
|Free transportation to and from that universe
|-
|Apr 02
|A clear explanation of how wish rules are structured and enforced
|-
|Apr 07
|The power to banish people into the TV show they're talking about
|-
|Apr 08
|Zero wishes
|-
|Apr 15
|Veto power over clocks
|-
|Apr 22
|A Pokéball that works on strangers' pets
|}

{{Comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Pokémon]]

980: Money

2014-06-07T02:38:54Z

Bluewin: Fixed a typo

{{comic
| number = 980
| date = November 21, 2011
| title = Money
| image = money.png
| titletext = There, I showed you it.
}}
As usual, click the date above the comic to go to the xkcd page, and there is a link to the ''much'' larger image. The full image is here: [http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/money_huge.png PNG (12528x8352 pixels)].

==Explanation==
{{Incomplete|Incomplete. The transcript also has to be fixed.}}
This is another [[:Category:Charts|chart]] comic - a type of comic that [[Randall]] does from time to time. He has for instance done [[Online Communities|maps of the Internet]] ([[Online Communities 2|twice]]!) and other huge visualizations like this chart for [http://xkcd.com/radiation/ radiation] with a similar structure as this chart where money is the subject.

In the chart there are five boxes with items on different scales of monetary value. Each scale of dollar increments are different colors. One dollar increments are green - naturally, because American paper money is green. Thousands are Orange/Red. Millions are gray. Billions are yellow. Trillions are blue. This comic uses {{w|Long and short scales|the short scale}} for naming large numbers (so a billion = 1000 millions = 10^9 rather than a million millions = 10^12 as in continental Europe).

In the Billions box there is a vague term called the "Economic Vortex" as well as arrows that flow between different blocks of this box. This is to show where the money goes. Where it is collected from, and where it is distributed to.

The title text is a reference to the phrase "Show me the money!" which originates from the film ''{{w|Jerry Maguire}}''.

;Dollars
*Middle-left: Pet Ownership. The {{w|ASPCA}} is the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
*Bottom-right: Four boxes indicate that the CEO pay has skyrocketed from $490.31 (hourly) to $5,419.97 (hourly) in the same time period in which the average worker's salary has skyrocketed 10 cents.

;Thousands
*Top-right: Hogwarts degree: a reference to {{w|Hogwarts|Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy}} from the popular book series by {{w|J.K. Rowling}} about {{w|Harry Potter}}. One box is the estimated yearly tuition for the school and the next is how much seven years at the school would cost. To get a degree at the school, it takes 7 years (starting at age 11, ending at age 18).
*Bottom: A reference to the song by {{w|Bare Naked Ladies}} entitled "{{w|If I Had $1000000}}" and all the things referenced in the song to buy the love of another person.
*Bottom: A few items on the marriage of {{w|Wedding of Prince William and Catherine Middleton|Kate Middleton and Prince William}}, the major royal wedding of 2011, including:
**a {{w|Wedding dress of Kate Middleton|wedding dress with its own Wikipedia page}} of 3 times the annual per capita income of the average UK person,
**an 8-tier [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1381944/Royal-Wedding-cake-Kate-Middleton-requested-8-tiers-decorated-900-flowers.html wedding cake],
**and the flowers for the wedding. These re-appear in the Millions section of the graph, where they also list the costs for the security around the event ($20 million).

;Millions
*Middle-right: another reference to JK Rowling, in this case it is {{w|MC Front-A-Lot}} (The creator of the subgenre of {{w|hip-hop}} known as "{{w|Nerd Core}}") who estimated her net worth at $1 billion. But, that begs the question, why do the boxes only add up to $82,000?

;Billions
*Top-Left: Billionaires section: Fictional Billionaires sub-section:
**{{w|Carlisle Cullen}} is from the {{w|Twilight (series)|Twilight Series}} of books and movies. He is a vampire and adoptive father of {{w|Edward Cullen|Edward}}, {{w|Emmett Cullen|Emmett}} and {{w|Alice Cullen (Twilight)|Alice Cullen}}, as well as {{w|Rosalie Hale|Rosalie}} and {{w|Jasper Hale}}. He was born in the 1640s and amassed his wealth through many years of compound interest and investments.
**{{w|Scrooge McDuck}} is a cartoon character from many {{w|Disney}} properties including the afternoon cartoon, {{w|Duck Tales}}. Scrooge McDuck has a "money bin" full of coins and other sorts of collectibles that he routinely [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMU2NwaaXEA goes swimming in].
**{{w|Bruce Wayne}} is {{w|Batman}}. {{w|Batman}} is {{w|Bruce Wayne}}. He is portrayed in many comic books, graphic novels, TV shows and movies by many different actors.
**{{w|Artemis Fowl II|Artemis Fowl}} is an Irish child prodigy and a ruthless master criminal from the {{w|Artemis Fowl (series)|eponymous book series}}. He uses his intelligence to build his family fortune through crime.

;Trillions
As Randall already indicated in the transcript, this is the block for world, continent and nation finances. The numbers are really huge.
There are no jokes in here (apart from the fact that Randall tried to make the shapes of the GDP look like the continent), likely because financial values this large aren't funny to start with.
*GDP is {{w|Gross domestic product}}, the market value of all goods and services produced in a nation.
**The major chart in the center shows the development of the GDP in the world since the 1940s. So far the US GDP has always grown, except for a small reduction in the early 1980s, a flat line around the 1991 global recession and a flat line in the second half of the naughts. The world-wide GDP is growing more rapidly, but is also much more volatile.
*In the middle of the box, it shows the worth of all gold ever mined in 2011 prices. This is important because of the concept of the {{w|Gold standard}}, a concept where monetary values are linked to the value of gold. As indicated in the top-right of the box, both the EU and the USA have more debt than the total value of all gold in the world.
*{{w|Derivatives}} are a complex financial instrument where one is not trading in something tangible, but in derived values - like options. Derivatives thus are dangerous as one trades in concepts instead of values. Critics claim that derivatives are at the base of the 'economic bubble'.
**The growth of the derivatives market size is incredible - more than doubling every four years. The derivatives market thus is much larger than the GDP of the entire world.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}
:Money.

:[This transcription is only reproducing text visible on the front page comic. There are 5 large panels, each with a series of plots, comparing the values of various things. Each large panel is covered in colored squares, and each single square represents a power of ten, be it single dollars, thousands of dollars, or even trillions of dollars.]

:*Dollars
:**[This section covers single coffees up to the hourly salaries of CEOs.]

:*Thousands
:**[This section discusses values from around $1000 to $1,000,000, including a dissection of the song ''If I had $1000000.'']

:*Millions
:**[This section focuses on $1,000,000 to $1,000,000,000, with a large section on campaign contributions of American political presidential campaigns, values of expensive works of art, and J. K. Rowling.]

:*Billions
:**[This section gets into larger scale finances, profits of various sectors, costs of natural disasters, and net worth of the richest people on the planet. Also, Donald Trump.]

:*Trillions
:**[Global financial status is described here. It discusses derivatives, liquid assets, public debt by nation and GDP by continent, culminating with the total economic production of the human race to date.]

==Trivia==
*xkcd comics are usually posted at, or around, midnight Eastern time the day of the comic (Monday, Wednesday, Friday). This one was posted at about noon on Monday
*Each amount has a source at http://xkcd.com/980/sources/ In the dollars section there is a statement that at every possible opportunity Randall used a scholarly work or government publication.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Charts]]

674: Natural Parenting

2014-06-05T01:01:12Z

Bluewin: Fixed a typo

{{comic
| number = 674
| date = December 11, 2009
| title = Natural Parenting
| image = natural_parenting.png
| titletext = On one hand, every single one of my ancestors going back billions of years has managed to figure it out. On the other hand, that's the mother of all sampling biases.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This explain needs a rework on language. Too many guesses like diapers...}}
This comic relates to the anxiety most couples experience after having a child. Often people will advice new parents to do what comes naturally and trust their instincts. This offers little help to the new parents.

In this comic a couple finds themselves with a child. Both parents experience anxiety over how to manage their life with the child. The father, to defuse the situation states that parenting can not be that hard, and that they should do what comes naturally. Later the couple find themselves with a second child and still no idea about how to parent. Since the couple was attracted to each other enough to have a child in the first place, doing what comes naturally included having another child. Thus the "natural" instincts for breeding are strong, but the instincts for raising children properly are weak, incomplete, or non-existent.

The title text claims that parenting can't be too hard because historically everyone's grandparents must have figured it out since they produced a child that successfully bred. Randall jokes that this is the "mother" of all {{w|sampling bias}}es because his ancestors represent only the (possibly small) fraction who successfully raised children, instead of the entire sample of people attempting to raise children.

The baby says, "Baby!", either copying Cueball, or saying its name, Pokémon-style.

[[441: Babies]] is another strip featuring clueless new parents.

Natural parenting may be an allusion to {{w|attachment parenting}}. This strategy for child-rearing normally entails extended nursing and encourages positive reinforcement. Sometimes modern medicine and processed foods are restricted as well. Natural parenting approaches can vary greatly from parent to parent. Because of the awkwardness and stigma of breastfeeding as well as its traditionalism, attachment parenting can elicit powerful opinions from both its opponents and proponents. Various media and politicians have seized on this hot topic, as well as motherhood in general. Extreme natural parenting methods became the notorious cover story of TIME Magazine in May 2012.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are standing with a baby in between them.]
:Cueball: Oh man, we made a baby.
:Megan: ''Don't panic. Don't panic.''
:Baby: Baby!

:Cueball: Parenting can't be that hard. Let's just do what comes naturally.

:[Beat frame.]

:Soon:
:[There are now two babies in between them.]
:Megan: Aw, crap.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Romance]]

602: Overstimulated

2014-06-03T13:28:44Z

Bluewin: Added transcript for the conversation in panel 6

{{comic
| number = 602
| date = June 26, 2009
| title = Overstimulated
| image = overstimulated.png
| titletext = My favorite thing to do at parties is to talk judgmentally about people who aren't there.
}}

==Explanation==
After being cooped up working on papers, [[Cueball]] goes to a party, only to find himself tuning out the gossip of his friends in order to work on math problems in his head. He writes down the prime numbers on cards, and then stretches them out such that the area of the card is the same (say, 1), but one of the sides has been elongated to a length equal to the number on the card. This reduces the length on the other dimension to the reciprocal of the number on the card (i.e. 1/''n'', with ''n'' being the number on the card), according to the area formula for rectangles.

Stacking these reciprocals all up will eventually diverge, meaning the sum will be infinite without ever leveling off. This is unimaginatively referred to as the {{w|divergence of the sum of the reciprocals of the primes}}, and was proven by {{w|Euler}} in 1737.

[http://aq.server8.org/ The Cambridge Aspergers Test] includes questions on preferences for, and ability to cope with, social situations. It also asks the person taking the test if they have an affinity for numbers and see patterns in every day objects. Cueball would score high on the Asperger's scale — or he could just be introverted. Thinking about things on one's own is often relaxing for an introvert, while hanging out with other people is not. Hence the irony of the comment in the last panel. Cueball's friends fail to realize that hanging out with them is actually more stressful for him than doing math.

The title text mentions people that talk negatively about people that aren't there, which isn't uncommon. A much later comic; [[1176: Those Not Present]], is about just that.

==Transcript==
:[There is a group of people. Three women and four men. They are standing around a table with a drink on it.]
:Man #3: Have you seen John lately?

:Woman #3: He and Claire blew off this party to see Jeff.
:Man #4: They do that a lot.

:Man #1: Yeah; I don't know what his problem is with hanging out lately.
:Man #3: He's like Katie—ever noticed how she only goes somewhere if Jeff's there?

:[Cueball is cringing away from all the text; none of the text is attributed to specific people.]
:Somebody: It's so lame how she hangs around him even when he's not single:
:Somebody: HE LIKES IT.
:Somebody: SOMEONE SERIOUSLY NEEDS TO DATE HER.
:Somebody: TOTALLY.
:Somebody: And honestly I feel like a jerk but I wouldn't mind if she hung around with us a little less. She needs other friends, you know!

:[Cueball peels a hole in the panel. The numbers '1', '2', and '3' are visible through the gap.]
:Somebody: HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW EVERY DUDE SHE DATES IS A TOTAL DRUGGIE?
:Somebody: NOPE
:Somebody: I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that was weird.
:Somebody: Michelle dates potheads like Elaine but at least they both have real jobs.
:Somebody: Michelle does? She designs those book covers, right?
:Somebody: And it's not like she smokes a lot.
:Somebody: Elaine is one of those girls who

:[The previous panel's text appears again, but peeled back even further. Cueball looks up.]
:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

:Somebody: NOTICED HOW
:Somebody: NOPE
:Somebody: -es is a tota-
:Somebody: -t th- -ought

:[The man starts taking down the prime numbers.]
:1 4 6 8 9 10 12 14 15 2 3 5 7 11 13
:[The man grabs and squeezes the 2, so it is half as wide and twice as tall.]

:[A formula: \Sum_{i=1}^{\infty}{1 P_i} = h]
::[ie. The sum from 1 to infinity of the inverse of each prime.]
:[The panel shows a 2 that is 2 units tall and 1 2 wide, a 3 that is 3 units tall and 1 3 wide, and so on. Cueball is moving the 7.]

:[Cueball writes h = infinity. The numbers are piled on their side next to a scale.]
:Voice: Don't you agree?
:Voice: Hey, wake up.

:Man #1: You zoned out or something.
:Cueball: Sorry; I must be... tired.
:Man #1: I don't blame you. All day cooped up working on papers.
:Man #3: Must be nice to get out and relax, huh?
:Cueball: Yeah.
:[Girl #3 reaches for the glass on the table.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Math]]

418: Stove Ownership

2014-06-02T19:56:23Z

Bluewin: Fixed a few typos

{{comic
| number =418
| date =May 2, 2008
| title =Stove Ownership
| image =stove_ownership.png
| titletext =Although maybe it's just a phase, like freshman year of college when I realized I could just buy frosting in a can.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a subtle statement on the epiphany many have when they reach adulthood and are on their own for the first time: No one will tell you what to do! Nobody will, however, stop you from making those poor decisions you were refrained from prior to that independence. Eating bacon whenever one wants is among them.

This line graph depicts [[Randall|Randall's]] health as a function of time after he gets to own a {{w|Kitchen stove|stove}} (or oven). The joke is that his health goes into an immediate deterioration the moment he realized that he could just cook bacon on his stove whenever he wants. When he says "he could have bacon", he means he has both the will AND means, since the stove is now his own. Before the bacon revelation his health was actually improving - this may be explained because he was now cooking his own, healthy, food rather than getting pizza delivered or having other pre-made foods/junk food.

{{w|Icing_(food)|Frosting}} (or icing) is something you use to decorate cakes. Many children enjoys this so much that they eat it of the cake and leaves the rest behind. Frosting in a can, as mentioned in a title text is convenient because it is instant and not necessary to make from scratch. When Randall came to college he still had a very sweet tooth so when he discovered frosting in a can his health curve at the time also went into decline. However, that turned out to be a phase - he got over it - and he hopes it will be the same with cooking bacon.

There is now also similarly instant, pre-made bacon that can be eaten right out of the box, eliminating the need to put in any effort to prepare it. Hopefully Randall has not discovered this!

==Transcript==
:[A hand-drawn graph is shown.]
:[On the y-axis:]
:My overall health
:[On the x-axis:]
:Time
:[The graph is generally steady rising through 3/4 of the x-axis, where it begins a steady decline. A stapled line marks the start of this decline. Below where the line crosses the x axis this decline is labeled:]
:The day I realized I could cook bacon ''whenever I wanted''.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

1015: Kerning

2014-06-02T01:57:28Z

Bluewin: The spacing between F and I in "offices" is also inconsistent with the rest of the spacing

{{comic
| number = 1015
| date = February 10, 2012
| title = Kerning
| image = kerning.png
| titletext = I have never been as self-conscious about my handwriting as when I was inking in the caption for this comic.
}}

== Explanation ==

In typography, {{w|kerning}} refers to the spacing between consecutive letters in printed material or the process of adjusting said spacing. Examples of bad kerning include text that's almost unreadable: adding so much space between letters of one word that it appears to be two words. Or, there might be so little space between letters that you can't tell what those letters should be ("r" and "n" together might look like "m" or "A" and "V" might have their slanting sides overlap). Extreme examples of bad kerning can lead to humorous or inappropriate text.

Kerning has been an issue in typography since the early era of printing presses and movable type but has taken on new challenges with digital printing. Typical non-designers using basic word processing software don't pay much attention to kerning. A good graphic designer, however, can compensate for bad kerning by individually adjusting the spacing between problem letters. People who specialize in graphic design or layout (and, thus, who are exposed to digital text on a regular basis) can become hyper-sensitive to bad kerning, seeing it in signs or other printed materials prepared by people without such sensitivity to bad kerning.

In the comic, the kerning in the sign is badly done: the spacing between C and I (in "City"), between C and E (in "Offices"), and even slightly between F and I (also in "Offices") is inconsistent. The space between the C and E is almost as wide as the space between the words. One character is clearly frustrated while the other character doesn't notice the problem at all.

The comic explains that once a person learns what good kerning is, he or she will get irritated by shoddy kerning in the future. Unfortunately, the comic itself has also taught us to be annoyed. Thanks, Randall.

The title text is written by Randall explaining that as he was writing this comic about kerning, he was very self-conscious of his own handwriting. The act of thinking about kerning (and likely, the act of drawing an example of such bad kerning) made him aware of it in his own writing.

== Transcript ==
:[There is a poorly-kerned sign on the side of a building labeled "CITY OFFICES". Two people are standing in front of it.]
:Person 1: ''Argh!''
:Person 2: what?
:If you really hate someone, teach them to recognize bad kerning.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

1018: Good Cop, Dadaist Cop

2014-05-15T21:42:50Z

Bluewin: Changed words 'Bad cop' to 'Good cop' in 3rd paragraph

{{comic
| number = 1018
| date = February 17, 2012
| title = Good Cop, Dadaist Cop
| image = good_cop_dadaist_cop.png
| titletext = NOW INVENT AN IMPOSSIBLE-TO-TRANSLATE LANGUAGE AND USE IT TO TELL US WHERE THE MONEY IS.
}}

==Explanation==
This is a play on the traditional police officer strategy of "{{w|Good cop/bad cop}}", in which two officers play different parts to get the suspect to give the required information. One is nice to the suspect and the other is mean to the suspect.

However, in this comic, they use the "Good Cop, Dadaist Cop" strategy in which one is nice to the suspect and the other is {{w|Dadaist}}, which is defined as (via [http://www.thefreedictionary.com/dadaist the Free Dictionary]) a European artistic and literary movement (1916-1923) that flouted conventional aesthetic and cultural values by producing works marked by nonsense, travesty, and incongruity.

So, the Dadaist cop is spouting nonsense attempting to get the suspect to give some information. On its own, this probably would not work, but thankfully for the interrogation the Dadaist cop is doubling as a rather effective Good cop.

{{w|Mark Zuckerberg}} is the co-founder of {{w|Facebook}}; {{w|Church Latin}} (aka Ecclesiastical Latin) is a particular style of the {{w|Latin}} language used mainly by the {{w|Catholic Church}}. All that, however, is beside the point because Zuckerberg does not own a house, he rents and thus does not have a {{w|mortgage}}. [http://allfacebook.com/mark-zuckerberg-moves-into-another-rental-house_b29174]

==Transcript==
:[Two cops look through a window into an interrogation chamber holding a handcuffed suspect.]
:Good Cop: All right, let's try good cop, dadaist cop

:[Good Cop is seated in front of the suspect.]
:Good Cop: Look, you're a good guy. We can work this out. Hey, lemme get us some coffee.

:[CHANGE PLACES.]

:[Dadaist Cop holds up a document of indeterminate contents and threatens the suspect with it.]
:Dadaist Cop: See this? It's Mark Zuckerberg's Mortgage. So why is it written in '''''CHURCH LATIN'''''?

:[Dadaist cop physically rattles the suspect.]
:Dadaist Cop: '''''WHY ARE MY BONES SO SMALL'''''?
:Suspect: What's ''WRONG'' with you!?
:Dadaist Cop: What's wrong with '''''ART'''''?
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]

192: Working for Google

2014-05-15T17:50:15Z

Bluewin: Fixed a typo from last edit

{{comic
| number = 192
| date = December 4, 2006
| title = Working for Google
| image = working for google.png
| titletext = I hear once you've worked there for 256 days they teach you the secret of levitation.
}}

==Explanation==
Many look up to {{w|Google}} as the ultimate workplace in the IT industry. Therefore, they have lots of applicants but can afford to be very selective, and only the best and brightest succeed.

[[Cueball]]'s friend starts out by dismissing Google as a "corporate idea factory", but from the rest of his speech, we can infer that these are not his true feelings. He is exhibiting the attitude known as "sour grapes", where you criticize something that is out of your reach, or which has been denied you.

In the last panel, it is revealed the friend has been trying very hard to get a job at Google, even resorting to bribing the interview panel by baking them a cake "in the shape of the internet". Since the internet does not have a defined shape, it is difficult to visualize exactly what he baked. This misguided action is a sign of how much he wanted a position. Another possibility is that the comment is a reference to this video ([http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDbyYGrswtg]), in which the black box shown is supposedly the internet. If this is the case, then the cake would have been shaped like the box in the video.

The title text says that if you work for Google for 256 (28) days you get to learn how to levitate. This displays some of the mystique with which Google is commonly viewed. However, Astro Teller, the director of {{w|Google X}} labs, a Google division that researches "moonshot" projects, has mentioned in an interview [http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2013-05-22/inside-googles-secret-lab#p4] that they contemplated starting a levitation project.

==Transcript==
:Cueball: Have you read about Google HQ? It sounds like an incredible place to work.

:Friend: Man, I ain't going to be chained down in no corporate idea factory! They think just 'cause they've got a nice building and laid back culture, I'm gonna want to come in all day long and work on fascinating problems with the smartest people in the world.

:[Cueball stares at his friend.]

:Cueball: So, what, they turned you down?
:Friend: I don't understand it! I even baked them a cake shaped like the internet!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

192: Working for Google

2014-05-15T17:49:17Z

Bluewin: Added incomplete explanation of possible reference to the internet box

{{comic
| number = 192
| date = December 4, 2006
| title = Working for Google
| image = working for google.png
| titletext = I hear once you've worked there for 256 days they teach you the secret of levitation.
}}

==Explanation==
Many look up to {{w|Google}} as the ultimate workplace in the IT industry. Therefore, they have lots of applicants but can afford to be very selective, and only the best and brightest succeed.

[[Cueball]]'s friend starts out by dismissing Google as a "corporate idea factory", but from the rest of his speech, we can infer that these are not his true feelings. He is exhibiting the attitude known as "sour grapes", where you criticize something that is out of your reach, or which has been denied you.

In the last panel, it is revealed the friend has been trying very hard to get a job at Google, even resorting to bribing the interview panel by baking them a cake "in the shape of the internet". Since the internet does not have a defined shape, it is difficult to visualize exactly what he baked. This misguided action is a sign of how much he wanted a position. Anther possibility is that the comment is a reference to this video ([http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDbyYGrswtg]), in which the black box shown is supposedly the internet. If this is the case, then the cake would have been shaped like the box in the video.

The title text says that if you work for Google for 256 (28) days you get to learn how to levitate. This displays some of the mystique with which Google is commonly viewed. However, Astro Teller, the director of {{w|Google X}} labs, a Google division that researches "moonshot" projects, has mentioned in an interview [http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2013-05-22/inside-googles-secret-lab#p4] that they contemplated starting a levitation project.

==Transcript==
:Cueball: Have you read about Google HQ? It sounds like an incredible place to work.

:Friend: Man, I ain't going to be chained down in no corporate idea factory! They think just 'cause they've got a nice building and laid back culture, I'm gonna want to come in all day long and work on fascinating problems with the smartest people in the world.

:[Cueball stares at his friend.]

:Cueball: So, what, they turned you down?
:Friend: I don't understand it! I even baked them a cake shaped like the internet!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

331: Photoshops

2014-05-03T12:56:39Z

Bluewin: Made a sentence more grammatical and split it (see 1st/2nd sentence in 4th paragraph)

{{comic
| number = 331
| date = October 19, 2007
| title = Photoshops
| image = photoshops.png
| titletext = When I look into your eyes, I see JPEG artifacts. I can tell by the pixels that we're wrong for each other.
}}

==Explanation==
This whole comic including the title text are a pun on the then-popular {{w|internet meme}} "[http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/this-looks-shopped This Looks Shopped]".

{{w|Adobe Photoshop}} is a popular {{w|Graphics software|image manipulation tool}}. It is used to manipulate photographic images and for drawing.
Of course, Photoshop and similar tools like Paint Shop Pro can only be used for imagery, not for real life objects.

The title text contains the second part of the internet meme, the complete text is: "THIS LOOKS SHOPPED / I CAN TELL FROM SOME OF THE PIXELS AND FROM SEEING QUITE A FEW SHOPS IN MY TIME."

Quite a few interesting images have been uncovered as "shopped" using various techniques. Some examples: shadows are in the wrong direction, extra hands appear, movie stars are made thinner, wrinkles or spots removed and objects added or removed. This of course triggered the start of the meme.

{{w|JPEG}} is an image compression algorithm that works by finding frequencies in blocks of 8x8 pixels and saving that instead of the original pixels. This works remarkably well, but sometimes leaves artifacts that can be seen when zooming in enough. The iris of an eye contains all kinds of odd colored spots - and there's not a JPEG algorithm in sight.

This is another strip in the [[My Hobby]] series.

==Transcript==
:[Megan holds a sword while Cueball looks on.]
:My hobby: Insisting that real-life objects are photoshopped.
:Megan: This sabre is a 19th-century family heirloom.
:Cueball: It looks photoshopped.
:Megan: Huh?
:Cueball: Yeah, the reflections are all wrong. Definitely photoshopped.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:My Hobby]]

512: Alternate Currency

2014-05-01T19:33:25Z

Bluewin: Fixed a typo

{{comic
| number = 512
| date = December 3, 2008
| title = Alternate Currency
| image = alternate_currency.png
| titletext = For the first time ever, the phrase 'I'd like to thank everyone at 4chan for making me successful and happy' is uttered.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is shown watching television, where it is announced that the US dollar has collapsed and been replaced by an 'alternative currency' of humorous pictures commonly shared on the internet. Such a currency would be utterly useless; for untraceable and easily-counterfeited .gif and .jpeg files to become more monetarily stable than the US dollar would mean that the economy is ''all kinds of screwed'', to the point of utter absurdity.

The title text pokes fun at users of [http://www.4chan.org 4Chan] who are notoriously known for their habit of hoarding image macros, a practice he suggests is almost useless except in the instance jokingly suggested by the comic. Randall also pokes fun at himself in saying "I have been preparing for this moment my whole life", indirectly implying he is also guilty of this practice.

==Transcript==
:Television: With the collapse of the dollar, the government has endorsed an alternative currency. Your monetary worth is now determined by the number of funny pictures saved to your hard drive.

:I have been preparing for this moment my whole life.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

1362: Morse Code

2014-05-01T19:28:54Z

Bluewin: fixed typo

{{comic
| number = 1362
| date = April 30, 2014
| title = Morse Code
| image = morse_code.png
| titletext = Oh, because Facebook has worked out SO WELL for everyone.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Still very brief. Is there any Morse code hidden in the silence, speak, silence, speak pattern of the comic? Not sure. - space - is TT which doesn't mean anything...}}

[[Cueball]] recounts the last message sent by the French Navy upon retiring {{W|morse code}}.

The poetic, and potentially angsty-sounding nature of the message reminds him of the on-line journal website {{W|LiveJournal}}, which was popular until the late 00s (it was launched in 1999), and stereotypically used by angst-ridden teenagers to post song lyrics, poems, or cryptic messages to express their emotions and possibly fish for attention. Since Cueball never uses his LiveJournal account any more, he wonders if he can find the password again. He might be considering posting the final Morse Code message as his own last and final message on his LiveJournal.

The popularity of the site died down considerably with the arrival of social networking sites like {{W|MySpace}}, {{W|Facebook}}, {{W|Google Plus}} and the advent of microblogging platforms like {{W|Twitter}} and {{W|Tumblr}}. LiveJournal has also lost a lot of users since a Russian company bought them out; Russian dissidents used LiveJournal to present their opinions, and the Russian government retaliates by creating "denial of service" attacks which make LiveJournal unusable for all its users, sometimes for days. Thus when [[Megan]] is upset with his desire to let LiveJournal die out like the Morse Code, Cueball describes it as "a nice place to go for some peace and quiet".

The title text is Megan's (or [[Randall|Randall's]]) sarcastic remark indicating that Facebook is no less filled with angst-ridden thoughts than LiveJournal was, nor is it free from problems or controversies around other issues such as security or privacy.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are lying in a grassy, lonely plain.]

:Cueball: When the French navy retired morse code in 1997, they broadcast a final message: "Calling all. This is our last cry before our eternal silence."

:Cueball: I wonder if I can find my Livejournal login.
:Megan: Hey, I ''like'' Livejournal.
:Cueball: It's a nice place to go for some peace and quiet, I suppose.

==Trivia==
The Morse code for the final message "Calling all. This is our last cry before our eternal silence." is:
-.-. .- .-.. .-.. .. -. --. .- .-.. .-.. .-.-.- - .... .. ... .. ... --- ..- .-. .-.. .- ... - -.-. .-. -.-- -... . ..-. --- .-. . --- ..- .-. . - . .-. -. .- .-.. ... .. .-.. . -. -.-. . .-.-.-
A period is a very short tone while the hyphen represents a slightly longer one. Between each character there is a small pause. This message was typically sent within less than half a minute.

==External links==
* [http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-53668116.html An obituary for Morse code]
* [https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/500_kHz_%28maritime_et_a%C3%A9ronautique%29?uselang=en#Nuit_du_31.C2.A0janvier.C2.A01997_au_1er.C2.A0f.C3.A9vrier.C2.A01997.2C Transcript of communications of the french station that night]
* [http://www.onlineconversion.com/morse_code.htm Convert text to morse code and vice versa]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Social networking]]

1358: NRO

2014-04-21T15:41:20Z

Bluewin: Added reference to What If article, note: IDK how to hyperlink something outside of the wiki and wikipedia, so if someone could fix that please, thank you

{{comic
| number = 1358
| date = April 21, 2014
| title = NRO
| image = nro.png
| titletext = 'DISPATCHING DRONE TO TARGET COORDINATES.' 'Wait, crap, wrong button. Oh jeez.'
}}

==Explanation==
''{{w|Where's Waldo}}'' (known in the British original as ''Where's Wally)'' is a children's puzzle book in which you have to locate 'Waldo', a character with a distinctive striped shirt and hat, in a picture consisting of a crowd of hundreds of such characters. He usually is quite hard to find, which makes it slightly challenging. [[Cueball]] and his friend are using satellite imaging to find Waldo, by holding the book up to the sky and viewing it on the computer, presumably using some advanced image processing software to identify Waldo among the crowd. This would require a very advanced camera, as resolutions are usually much lower than would be necessary to resolve the characters in a Where's Waldo book. But since Cueball works at the {{w|National Reconnaissance Office}} (NRO), he probably has access to some powerful satellites and image processing software. The humor in this being, while he could be using that power for much more important things, he's instead trying to solve a simple game.

The title text is implying that Cueball has accidentally launched a drone at the co-ordinates, which would be where he and his friend are standing.

A What If (what-if.xkcd.com) examining the use of the Hubble Telescope for the purpose of examining the earth can be found here: what-if.xkcd.com/32/

==Transcript==
Cueball and a friend are in a remote area. The friend is holding a ''Where's Waldo?'' book towards the sky.
:Laptop: [Target located]
:Cueball: Got him. Left edge, two inches down.
The National Reconnaissance Office has an unusual approach to ''Where's Waldo''.

{{comic discussion}}

1350: Lorenz

2014-04-07T19:40:41Z

Bluewin: fixed typo

{{comic
| number = 1350
| date = April 1, 2014
| title = Lorenz
| image = lorenz.png
| titletext = Every choice, no matter how small, begins a new story
}}

'''NOTE: The above is the first panel of an interactive comic.'''

{{incomplete|All images has not been described under themes (and may never be if Randall creates new)}}

For a collection of images that appear in this comic, see [[1350: Lorenz/Images]]. These will also be described below under themes.

==Explanation==
This is an interactive and dynamic comic with a possible first picture shown on top of this page. The picture is always the same but the order of the sentences A/B/C/D is done by random. The result of all the interactions by the people would lead to a {{w|Crowdsourcing|crowd-sourced content}}. In honor of {{w|April Fools' Day}} the comic was posted a day early, on Tuesday instead of the usual Wednesday. This also means that if anyone feels this comic is too silly... Randall can call ''April fool''.

The title 'Lorenz' is referring to {{w|Edward Norton Lorenz}} who among other subjects was famous for {{w|Chaos theory}} and the {{w|Butterfly effect}}.

The title text is a reference to that the story line of this comic does include all of the user submitted dialogue and updates over time based on statistics of users clicks and hence will in nature be chaotic. In this manner it is a reference to the butterfly effect, a phrase coined by Edward Lorenz to describe how a small initial change can lead to wide variations in outcome in a chaotic system.

This comic is an example of a {{w|Choose Your Own Adventure}} story as mentioned in the title text.

===Functionality and bugs===
The reader is initially presented with only one panel where Knit Cap Girl (Megan?) is sitting in front of her computer. The reader is given multiple choices concerning what exactly Knit Cap Girl (Megan?) is thinking. Upon choosing any option, a second panel appears, to give continuity to the story. Each new panel may have a new set of options or just the button "Continue" to see the next panel without making any choice in particular. Eventually, one may reach a dead end in which the story is interrupted and reader is presented with a text box to suggest how it should continue. Some of the suggestions given should eventually become available as new options.

It appears that new panels may be generated by Randall in near real time as user suggestions to dialog is submitted. The dialogue options are likely based on click-through rates and hence will change over day based on which choices are clicked most using {{w|A/B_testing|A/B measurement techniques}}. This will mean that the most popular choices for dialogue line will prevail as the statistics build up. In some cases, dialogue line options do not depend on the continuity of the storyline followed, suggesting that some parts of the story are planned. For example, do several of the storylines involve one of the two main characters waking up and for instance telling the other character, “I had the strangest dream…” or even reliving the dream again. This may be due to common submissions across storylines as well.

Normally, there is a total of 4 options to make: a/b/c/d. Their order changes constantly. Sometimes, there are 3 or fewer options, with the text box to suggest an alternative option. Sometimes, a given panel actually has 5 or more available options, although even in this case only 4 options appear at a time. Refreshing the comic changes randomly which of the available options are visible and which are hidden. As of April 2nd 2014, the existence of 5 or more options seems to occur only in a few rare cases, including the first panel itself.

Each panel has a "permalink" button which generates a unique URL for all the choices made by the reader — so a reader can save the chosen choices to compare them to other ways going through the selections. On the final panel the reader can enter an own statement, which is shown on screen but can't be saved by a permalink. The reader has to do a screen shot by himself.

{{w|HTTP cookie|Cookies}} and {{w|Javascript}} are required to see this page properly. Without cookies, the next panel will not render; attempting to load the page in the UNIXKCD terminal or loading the page without Javascript you just will get the [[1349|previous comic]].

====Buttons====
Instead of clicking with the mouse you can move more quickly through the panels using the keyboard:
* Up/Down - navigate options
* Enter/Right - choose option after navigating with Up/Down
* Left - go back one panel
* a/b/c/d - choose any option directly

====Bugs====
Since this interactive comic relies on many servers in the background to provide the response to the reader's actions there are some problems reported here:
*In the worst case the entire comic doesn't render at all as expected — it just shows the previous comic [[1349: Shouldn't Be Hard]].
*When selecting a sentence A/B/C/D the server does not respond on that selection.
*The servers responsible to provide the pictures are down.
*If a response leads to a panel where two characters speak at the same time, it is impossible to proceed past the first speech bubble.
As a consequence of these bugs many readers do not understand how this interactive comic works.

__notoc__
===Themes===

====Computer====
{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" |
! To see/hide images click here:
! Description of images
|-
! The beginning [[Image:lorenz - computer.png]]
| Knit Cap Girl sits at her laptop saying/thinking something. You choose what from four options and thus starts the interactive and dynamic comic. Originally on April the 1st there where only four choices, but this has increased since. But you always have four to choose from when you begin.
|-
! Computer problems [[Image:lorenz - laptop 1.png]] [[Image:lorenz - laptop 2.png]] [[Image:lorenz - laptop 3.png]] [[Image:lorenz - laptop 4.png]] [[Image:lorenz - laptop 5.png]] [[Image:lorenz - laptop 6.png]]
| Knit Cap Girl's laptop has an unspecified problem. Hairy walks in and they attempt to fix it by connecting his laptop with hers. There are two outcomes possible:
* He fails so badly that they end up randomly floating in the ocean (with or without circling sharks - a reference to [[349: Success]] see below.)
* It doesn't work so now Knit Cap Girl tries to write something on Hairy's laptop from a paper (a manual?) she holds in her hand. This also fails and the story continues with a blowtorch scene - see below:
|-
! Blowtorch [[Image:lorenz - laptop 7.png]] [[Image:lorenz - laptop 8.png]] [[Image:lorenz - laptop 9.png]] [[Image:lorenz - laptop 10.png]] [[Image:lorenz - laptop 11.png]]
| Knit Cap Girl becomes so upset with her laptop that she decides to melt it using a blowtorch - a clear reference to the comic from the day before this one: [[1349: Shouldn't Be Hard]]. After this they walk out of the building.
|}

====Political debate====
{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" |
! To see/hide images click here:
! Description of images
|-
! Debate [[image:lorenz - debate laptop.png]] [[image:lorenz - debate 1.png]] [[image:lorenz - debate 2.png]] [[image:lorenz - debate 5.png]] [[image:lorenz - debate 4.png]] [[image:lorenz - debate 3.png]] [[image:lorenz - visit.png]]
| Knit Cap Girl uses har laptop to watch a debate online between the Politician 1 (on the left) and the Politician 2 ([[Cueball]], on the right), the subject and the actual conversation of which varies according to the storyline. Eventually one of two things can happen:
* They fight each other, the Politician 2 using a lightsaber and the Politician 1 using his bare fists
* Politician 1 is going down on one knee - either to pray or as in a suggestion to ask the other to marry him...
Subjects debated could be user suggestions but below are one of those from April the 1st:
*Politician 1 accuses Politician 2 of having never liked Firefly.
*Politician 1 vows to end the "war on Christmas" if elected.
*Politician 1 praises his adversary and supports his economic plan.
*Politician 1 questions Politician 2's project of tying multiple birds to a car as fuel replacement, which would require some method to make the birds take off in unison. The solutions mentioned for this topic are given here as an example:
**Opening and closing an umbrella near them (a reference to {{W|Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade}}).
**Using a predatory bird to the car to scare them
**Putting resources in the hands of bird educators for the purpose of training them
**Employing fiscal hawks.
If the Politician 1 points out some problem with the reasoning, often the solution proposed by the Politician 2 would be doing the same in a larger scale or saying he completely agrees with everything the other says...
In the end, Hairy walks in to Knit Cap Girl and points out something happening near which may or may not involve birds (or what ever was the subject) which could be a direct result of Politician 2's project. Again all this could be user input!
The last image where Hairy walks in have been used also in other story lines
|}

====Miscellaneous====
{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" |
! To see/hide images click here:
! Description of images
|-
! Walking out of the building [[image:lorenz - away.png]]
| They may just walk away to new events or they encounter either:
*A rocket
*A hole in the ground
See below.
|-
! Space rocket [[Image:lorenz - rocket 1.png]]
| There is a rocket on the ground just outside of the building. The rocket either:
*Fails to launch and the two characters comes out again
*Takes off (with a screenshot from Kerbal Space Program) as it goes off into space - see below
|-
! Relativistic encounter [[Image:lorenz - rocket 16.png]]
| The space rocket meets another space rocket that asks a question about relativity, the same one that appeared in [[Choices: Part 2]]. The other space rocket will shoot and destroy the main rocket if the question isn't answered satisfactory. Otherwise the two rockets fly past each other.
|-
! Space planet [[image:lorenz - rocket 21.png]]
| Eventually the space rocket meets a guy on a very tiny planet which most likely is a reference to {{w|The Little Prince}}. This could also be a reference to the asteroid 4942 Munroe, then it would be Randall on the rock.
|-
! Dreams [[File:lorenz - wake up 1.png]]
| Sometimes, Knit Cap Guy or Hairy find themselves waking from a dream, suggesting that all prior events were just part of they dreaming. This may happen after either:
*They fall in the big hole outside Knit Cap Guy's house
*The rocket is shot down by the other spacecraft.
*Knit Cap Guy also wakes up after watching the debate.
Often, the dream loops upon itself, as a character wakes up multiple times in the same storyline.
When Knit Cap Guy wakes it is with the head to the left and the cap lying on the end of the bed. Hairy has his head to the right.
|-
! Salesman [[image:lorenz - sale 1.png]]
| Hairy meets [[White Hat]], a salesman with a small stand. Often this happens after waking from a dream.
|-
! Arguing [[image:lorenz - discuss.png]]
| The two characters argue with each other
|-
! Thinking [[image:lorenz - thinking.png]]
| One of the characters take a panel or two to think about something.
|-
! Dinosaur Comics [[image:lorenz - dinosaur 1.png]]
| The green T-rex from {{w|Dinosaur Comics}} (a clip-art-based webcomic that uses the same artwork with different captions for every strip.) interrupts the story and proceeds to talk about his tiny arms or other subjects. In the end, he stamps on the house the main characters are in. Often, the characters wake up from a dream.
|}

====Geography====
{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" |
! To see/hide images click here:
! Description of images
|-
! Ocean [[image:lorenz - shark zero.png]] [[image:lorenz - shark one.png]] [[image:lorenz - sharks.png]] [[image:lorenz - squids.png]] [[image:lorenz - blood.png]]
| Knit Cap Girl and Hairy are floating in the ocean, with or without sharks. A clear reference to [[349: Success]]. Sharks have been the subject of several other comics.
Three giant squids appear and a lone shark seems disturbed. Maybe the squids killed the sharks leaving the blood in the last of these images?
|-
! Beach [[image:lorenz - hairy swims away.png]] [[image:lorenz - beach.png]]
|Knit Cap Girl and Hairy starts to swim out of the shark free ocean and finally reaches a beach - see [[349: Success]].
|-
! Hole in the ground [[Image:lorenz - gap.png]]
| Hairy spots a hole in the ground and leans over it to make a comment
|-
! Huge hole on the lawn [[image:lorenz - hole.png]]
| There is a huge hole in the ground just outside of the building. The two characters always end up falling into it and awakening from a dream.
|-
! Tree [[image:lorenz - tree.png]]
| The characters walk past a tree.
|}

====Boomerang====
{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" |
! To see/hide images click here:
! Description of images
|-
! Boomerang [[image:lorenz - boomerang 1.png]]
| Knit Cap Girl finds a boomerang on the ground and throws it.
This part of the story ends with either:
*The boomerang crashing into something off panel - someone may shout back
*Hitting the space rocket from another story branch
*Knit Cap Girl getting hit in the face with the boomerang rebound
*Knit Cap Girl fails to catch the boomerang and the rebound hit Hairy in the face off screen and he then enters the frame in the next image
*Knit Cap Girl putting the boomerang down on the ground and walking away
Boomerangs are also featured in: [[445]], [[475]], [[939]]
|}

====Pokémon====
{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" |
! To see/hide images click here:
! Description of images
|-
! Pokémon [[File:lorenz - pikachu theft.png]]
| Some of the storylines involve Pokémon battles featuring Pikachu, a very popular Pokémon. The battles are drawn in the style of the video games. (A trainer in the left-bottom corner facing the foe in the right-top corner, with a narration box below the scene and the trainer's Pokéballs visible, although some elements are missing, such as the level, gender and HP bar.)

Pikachu uses a number of different moves, though these are mostly made up and are not from the Pokémon games. Pikachu's moves are almost invariably remarked by the narrator as "It's not very effective...", but "It's super effective!" is also possible to appear. In the video games, a move is "not very effective" when the opponent's type resists the attacking move's type and "super effective" when the opponent's type is weak to the attacking move's type. Normally after a few failed attempts, there is an uncomfortable silence as the Pikachu says "Um..." and Knit Cap Girl and Hairy walk away. Pikachu is left in the grass and has time to make his final remarks as the two leave him. Rarely, a suggested move knocks Pikachu out.

One narration line is "Where's Twitch when I need help?", a reference to {{w|Twitch Plays Pokémon}} which was also covered by comic [[1333: First Date]].

Another narration line is: "Google Maps didn't warn me of this.", a reference to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YMD6xELI_k Google Maps: Pokémon Challenge].

Pikachu's moves:
* Abandonment - Pikachu disappears completely.
* Anguish - Pikachu is sad.
* Ant Colony - Pikachu is covered in ants.
* Cute Face
* Crowdsource
* The Discrete Metric
* Ethylene Dichloride - Nothing seems to happen, but Ethylene Dichloride is a toxic chemical, so there may be future consequences for the characters. After using it, ("not very effective") Pikachu remarks about the move:
** I used to be better at chemistry.
** This is still better than all the lightning crap.
* Extrude - Pikachu's head moves away from his body as his neck becomes long and malleable.
* Faceless - Pikachu's face disappears.
* Friendship - Pikachu is on Knit Cap Girl's head, signifying they are now friends. Friendship, though not a move, is a game mechanic in the video games.
* Granite - Pikachu is atop a block of granite.
* Graph Theory
* Ink Cloud - Pikachu is covered in ink. In the storyline Pikachu uses it, there is the option to "gather" the ink.
* Radicality - Pikachu is on a skateboard.
* Struggle - In one storyline, after Pikachu uses a number of moves, it says: "Now I only have Struggle left. Tie?" In the Pokémon games, when a Pokémon runs out of PP (Power Points, the energy required to use each of its moves) for all its moves, it may only use Struggle, a weak move, indefinitely reusable, that harms not only the opponent but the user as well.
* Theft - Pikachu wears Knit Cap Girl's hat. Pikachu seems to be using "Thief", a similarly-named actual move from the games, that is used to steal the foe's item and use it as its own.
* Uplift - Pikachu's head goes upward, separated from its body, showing a long, thick cable still connecting the head and the body.

Other remarks from Pikachu or about Pikachu:
* http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:e8cf1df0-bbd4-11e3-802e-002590d77bdd
** Pikachu: Aren't you going to catch me? It's not difficult, I promise... Please? [Knit Cap Girl and Hairy ignore him and go away)
*** Please! Jigglypuff keeps on drawing on my face!
*** You were walking in tall grass! You asked for it!
*** Please... Tame me! I want to party on days other than Thursday.
**** [Hairy remarks] Y'know, if we catch a Pikachu, we would never [sic] to pay our electric bills again.

Pokémon mentioned other than Pikachu:
* Charizard (In one storyline, "Go Charizard" is one usable move in battle)
* Jigglypuff
|}

==Transcript==
:[The comic starts with a single panel presenting four options by random order among these below.]

:*These stupid tiles... I'll just play one more game.
:*Oh. Hey. There's some kind of political thing going on.
:*Refresh... No new email... Refresh... No new tweets... Refresh...
:*Let's see if BSD is any easier to install nowadays.
:*Hurry! We're in talks with Facebook.
:*Gravity. Lots of it.

:[The reader can choose an option and the text appears at the panel.]

:[The next panels are shown after each selection until it comes to an end where the reader can suggest the last line spoken.]

==Trivia==
*Although impossible to finish it has been tried to make a complete [[1350: Lorenz/Transcript|interactive transcript]].
*How long can the comic become? This may increase indefinitely? But it would be interesting to have list the comics with most panels as found so far.
**If you beat a record please post the '''permalink''' here.
**Please note themes included in comic. Please move beaten records down or delete them.
*'''The all time longest''' (top three - please only include clearly different stories):
*# [http://www.xkcd.com/1350/#p:ea25460c-baf3-11e3-8001-002590d77bdd 39 panels] - Politics and Boomerang
*# [http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:6490cc4a-b9f0-11e3-8009-002590d77bdd 30 panels] - Space travel to Little Prince.
*# [http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:8737f5b4-ba92-11e3-8008-002590d77bdd 22 panels] - Walking and Pokémon.
**'''Themes'''
**#Space - [http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:6490cc4a-b9f0-11e3-8009-002590d77bdd 30 panels] - reaching Little Prince
**#Pokémon - [http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:8737f5b4-ba92-11e3-8008-002590d77bdd 22 panels] - moving past...
**#Sharks - [http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:30f53d98-bbb3-11e3-801c-002590d77bdd 13 panels] - reaching beach.
**#Dreams - [http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:6427a624-ba05-11e3-8017-002590d77bdd 14 panels] - after rocket take-off
**#Boomerang -
**#Dinosaur -
**#Political debate -
**'''Starting point''':
**#These stupid tiles... I'll just play one more game: [http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:6490cc4a-b9f0-11e3-8009-002590d77bdd 30 panels]
**#Let's see if BSD is any easier to install nowadays: [http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:6f59d766-ba95-11e3-8001-002590d77bdd 19 panels]
**#Oh. Hey. There's some kind of political thing going on: [http://www.xkcd.com/1350/#p:fc34f46a-ba98-11e3-8008-002590d77bdd 26 panels]
**#Refresh... No new email... Refresh... No new tweets... Refresh...: [http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:6427a624-ba05-11e3-8017-002590d77bdd 14 panels]
**#Hurry! We're in talks with Facebook: [http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:2f544ea2-bc12-11e3-8037-002590d77bdd 10 panels]
**#Gravity. Lots of it:

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:April fool's comics]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:Sharks]]

1350: Lorenz

2014-04-07T19:39:16Z

Bluewin: Got one panel farther in the "walking and pokemon" trivia route

{{comic
| number = 1350
| date = April 1, 2014
| title = Lorenz
| image = lorenz.png
| titletext = Every choice, no matter how small, begins a new story
}}

'''NOTE: The above is the first panel of an interactive comic.'''

{{incomplete|All images has not been described under themes (and may never be if Randall creates new)}}

For a collection of images that appear in this comic, see [[1350: Lorenz/Images]]. These will also be described below under themes.

==Explanation==
This is an interactive and dynamic comic with a possible first picture shown on top of this page. The picture is always the same but the order of the sentences A/B/C/D is done by random. The result of all the interactions by the people would lead to a {{w|Crowdsourcing|crowd-sourced content}}. In honor of {{w|April Fools' Day}} the comic was posted a day early, on Tuesday instead of the usual Wednesday. This also means that if anyone feels this comic is too silly... Randall can call ''April fool''.

The title 'Lorenz' is referring to {{w|Edward Norton Lorenz}} who among other subjects was famous for {{w|Chaos theory}} and the {{w|Butterfly effect}}.

The title text is a reference to that the story line of this comic does include all of the user submitted dialogue and updates over time based on statistics of users clicks and hence will in nature be chaotic. In this manner it is a reference to the butterfly effect, a phrase coined by Edward Lorenz to describe how a small initial change can lead to wide variations in outcome in a chaotic system.

This comic is an example of a {{w|Choose Your Own Adventure}} story as mentioned in the title text.

===Functionality and bugs===
The reader is initially presented with only one panel where Knit Cap Girl (Megan?) is sitting in front of her computer. The reader is given multiple choices concerning what exactly Knit Cap Girl (Megan?) is thinking. Upon choosing any option, a second panel appears, to give continuity to the story. Each new panel may have a new set of options or just the button "Continue" to see the next panel without making any choice in particular. Eventually, one may reach a dead end in which the story is interrupted and reader is presented with a text box to suggest how it should continue. Some of the suggestions given should eventually become available as new options.

It appears that new panels may be generated by Randall in near real time as user suggestions to dialog is submitted. The dialogue options are likely based on click-through rates and hence will change over day based on which choices are clicked most using {{w|A/B_testing|A/B measurement techniques}}. This will mean that the most popular choices for dialogue line will prevail as the statistics build up. In some cases, dialogue line options do not depend on the continuity of the storyline followed, suggesting that some parts of the story are planned. For example, do several of the storylines involve one of the two main characters waking up and for instance telling the other character, “I had the strangest dream…” or even reliving the dream again. This may be due to common submissions across storylines as well.

Normally, there is a total of 4 options to make: a/b/c/d. Their order changes constantly. Sometimes, there are 3 or fewer options, with the text box to suggest an alternative option. Sometimes, a given panel actually has 5 or more available options, although even in this case only 4 options appear at a time. Refreshing the comic changes randomly which of the available options are visible and which are hidden. As of April 2nd 2014, the existence of 5 or more options seems to occur only in a few rare cases, including the first panel itself.

Each panel has a "permalink" button which generates a unique URL for all the choices made by the reader — so a reader can save the chosen choices to compare them to other ways going through the selections. On the final panel the reader can enter an own statement, which is shown on screen but can't be saved by a permalink. The reader has to do a screen shot by himself.

{{w|HTTP cookie|Cookies}} and {{w|Javascript}} are required to see this page properly. Without cookies, the next panel will not render; attempting to load the page in the UNIXKCD terminal or loading the page without Javascript you just will get the [[1349|previous comic]].

====Buttons====
Instead of clicking with the mouse you can move more quickly through the panels using the keyboard:
* Up/Down - navigate options
* Enter/Right - choose option after navigating with Up/Down
* Left - go back one panel
* a/b/c/d - choose any option directly

====Bugs====
Since this interactive comic relies on many servers in the background to provide the response to the reader's actions there are some problems reported here:
*In the worst case the entire comic doesn't render at all as expected — it just shows the previous comic [[1349: Shouldn't Be Hard]].
*When selecting a sentence A/B/C/D the server does not respond on that selection.
*The servers responsible to provide the pictures are down.
*If a response leads to a panel where two characters speak at the same time, it is impossible to proceed past the first speech bubble.
As a consequence of these bugs many readers do not understand how this interactive comic works.

__notoc__
===Themes===

====Computer====
{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" |
! To see/hide images click here:
! Description of images
|-
! The beginning [[Image:lorenz - computer.png]]
| Knit Cap Girl sits at her laptop saying/thinking something. You choose what from four options and thus starts the interactive and dynamic comic. Originally on April the 1st there where only four choices, but this has increased since. But you always have four to choose from when you begin.
|-
! Computer problems [[Image:lorenz - laptop 1.png]] [[Image:lorenz - laptop 2.png]] [[Image:lorenz - laptop 3.png]] [[Image:lorenz - laptop 4.png]] [[Image:lorenz - laptop 5.png]] [[Image:lorenz - laptop 6.png]]
| Knit Cap Girl's laptop has an unspecified problem. Hairy walks in and they attempt to fix it by connecting his laptop with hers. There are two outcomes possible:
* He fails so badly that they end up randomly floating in the ocean (with or without circling sharks - a reference to [[349: Success]] see below.)
* It doesn't work so now Knit Cap Girl tries to write something on Hairy's laptop from a paper (a manual?) she holds in her hand. This also fails and the story continues with a blowtorch scene - see below:
|-
! Blowtorch [[Image:lorenz - laptop 7.png]] [[Image:lorenz - laptop 8.png]] [[Image:lorenz - laptop 9.png]] [[Image:lorenz - laptop 10.png]] [[Image:lorenz - laptop 11.png]]
| Knit Cap Girl becomes so upset with her laptop that she decides to melt it using a blowtorch - a clear reference to the comic from the day before this one: [[1349: Shouldn't Be Hard]]. After this they walk out of the building.
|}

====Political debate====
{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" |
! To see/hide images click here:
! Description of images
|-
! Debate [[image:lorenz - debate laptop.png]] [[image:lorenz - debate 1.png]] [[image:lorenz - debate 2.png]] [[image:lorenz - debate 5.png]] [[image:lorenz - debate 4.png]] [[image:lorenz - debate 3.png]] [[image:lorenz - visit.png]]
| Knit Cap Girl uses har laptop to watch a debate online between the Politician 1 (on the left) and the Politician 2 ([[Cueball]], on the right), the subject and the actual conversation of which varies according to the storyline. Eventually one of two things can happen:
* They fight each other, the Politician 2 using a lightsaber and the Politician 1 using his bare fists
* Politician 1 is going down on one knee - either to pray or as in a suggestion to ask the other to marry him...
Subjects debated could be user suggestions but below are one of those from April the 1st:
*Politician 1 accuses Politician 2 of having never liked Firefly.
*Politician 1 vows to end the "war on Christmas" if elected.
*Politician 1 praises his adversary and supports his economic plan.
*Politician 1 questions Politician 2's project of tying multiple birds to a car as fuel replacement, which would require some method to make the birds take off in unison. The solutions mentioned for this topic are given here as an example:
**Opening and closing an umbrella near them (a reference to {{W|Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade}}).
**Using a predatory bird to the car to scare them
**Putting resources in the hands of bird educators for the purpose of training them
**Employing fiscal hawks.
If the Politician 1 points out some problem with the reasoning, often the solution proposed by the Politician 2 would be doing the same in a larger scale or saying he completely agrees with everything the other says...
In the end, Hairy walks in to Knit Cap Girl and points out something happening near which may or may not involve birds (or what ever was the subject) which could be a direct result of Politician 2's project. Again all this could be user input!
The last image where Hairy walks in have been used also in other story lines
|}

====Miscellaneous====
{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" |
! To see/hide images click here:
! Description of images
|-
! Walking out of the building [[image:lorenz - away.png]]
| They may just walk away to new events or they encounter either:
*A rocket
*A hole in the ground
See below.
|-
! Space rocket [[Image:lorenz - rocket 1.png]]
| There is a rocket on the ground just outside of the building. The rocket either:
*Fails to launch and the two characters comes out again
*Takes off (with a screenshot from Kerbal Space Program) as it goes off into space - see below
|-
! Relativistic encounter [[Image:lorenz - rocket 16.png]]
| The space rocket meets another space rocket that asks a question about relativity, the same one that appeared in [[Choices: Part 2]]. The other space rocket will shoot and destroy the main rocket if the question isn't answered satisfactory. Otherwise the two rockets fly past each other.
|-
! Space planet [[image:lorenz - rocket 21.png]]
| Eventually the space rocket meets a guy on a very tiny planet which most likely is a reference to {{w|The Little Prince}}. This could also be a reference to the asteroid 4942 Munroe, then it would be Randall on the rock.
|-
! Dreams [[File:lorenz - wake up 1.png]]
| Sometimes, Knit Cap Guy or Hairy find themselves waking from a dream, suggesting that all prior events were just part of they dreaming. This may happen after either:
*They fall in the big hole outside Knit Cap Guy's house
*The rocket is shot down by the other spacecraft.
*Knit Cap Guy also wakes up after watching the debate.
Often, the dream loops upon itself, as a character wakes up multiple times in the same storyline.
When Knit Cap Guy wakes it is with the head to the left and the cap lying on the end of the bed. Hairy has his head to the right.
|-
! Salesman [[image:lorenz - sale 1.png]]
| Hairy meets [[White Hat]], a salesman with a small stand. Often this happens after waking from a dream.
|-
! Arguing [[image:lorenz - discuss.png]]
| The two characters argue with each other
|-
! Thinking [[image:lorenz - thinking.png]]
| One of the characters take a panel or two to think about something.
|-
! Dinosaur Comics [[image:lorenz - dinosaur 1.png]]
| The green T-rex from {{w|Dinosaur Comics}} (a clip-art-based webcomic that uses the same artwork with different captions for every strip.) interrupts the story and proceeds to talk about his tiny arms or other subjects. In the end, he stamps on the house the main characters are in. Often, the characters wake up from a dream.
|}

====Geography====
{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" |
! To see/hide images click here:
! Description of images
|-
! Ocean [[image:lorenz - shark zero.png]] [[image:lorenz - shark one.png]] [[image:lorenz - sharks.png]] [[image:lorenz - squids.png]] [[image:lorenz - blood.png]]
| Knit Cap Girl and Hairy are floating in the ocean, with or without sharks. A clear reference to [[349: Success]]. Sharks have been the subject of several other comics.
Three giant squids appear and a lone shark seems disturbed. Maybe the squids killed the sharks leaving the blood in the last of these images?
|-
! Beach [[image:lorenz - hairy swims away.png]] [[image:lorenz - beach.png]]
|Knit Cap Girl and Hairy starts to swim out of the shark free ocean and finally reaches a beach - see [[349: Success]].
|-
! Hole in the ground [[Image:lorenz - gap.png]]
| Hairy spots a hole in the ground and leans over it to make a comment
|-
! Huge hole on the lawn [[image:lorenz - hole.png]]
| There is a huge hole in the ground just outside of the building. The two characters always end up falling into it and awakening from a dream.
|-
! Tree [[image:lorenz - tree.png]]
| The characters walk past a tree.
|}

====Boomerang====
{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" |
! To see/hide images click here:
! Description of images
|-
! Boomerang [[image:lorenz - boomerang 1.png]]
| Knit Cap Girl finds a boomerang on the ground and throws it.
This part of the story ends with either:
*The boomerang crashing into something off panel - someone may shout back
*Hitting the space rocket from another story branch
*Knit Cap Girl getting hit in the face with the boomerang rebound
*Knit Cap Girl fails to catch the boomerang and the rebound hit Hairy in the face off screen and he then enters the frame in the next image
*Knit Cap Girl putting the boomerang down on the ground and walking away
Boomerangs are also featured in: [[445]], [[475]], [[939]]
|}

====Pokémon====
{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" |
! To see/hide images click here:
! Description of images
|-
! Pokémon [[File:lorenz - pikachu theft.png]]
| Some of the storylines involve Pokémon battles featuring Pikachu, a very popular Pokémon. The battles are drawn in the style of the video games. (A trainer in the left-bottom corner facing the foe in the right-top corner, with a narration box below the scene and the trainer's Pokéballs visible, although some elements are missing, such as the level, gender and HP bar.)

Pikachu uses a number of different moves, though these are mostly made up and are not from the Pokémon games. Pikachu's moves are almost invariably remarked by the narrator as "It's not very effective...", but "It's super effective!" is also possible to appear. In the video games, a move is "not very effective" when the opponent's type resists the attacking move's type and "super effective" when the opponent's type is weak to the attacking move's type. Normally after a few failed attempts, there is an uncomfortable silence as the Pikachu says "Um..." and Knit Cap Girl and Hairy walk away. Pikachu is left in the grass and has time to make his final remarks as the two leave him. Rarely, a suggested move knocks Pikachu out.

One narration line is "Where's Twitch when I need help?", a reference to {{w|Twitch Plays Pokémon}} which was also covered by comic [[1333: First Date]].

Another narration line is: "Google Maps didn't warn me of this.", a reference to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YMD6xELI_k Google Maps: Pokémon Challenge].

Pikachu's moves:
* Abandonment - Pikachu disappears completely.
* Anguish - Pikachu is sad.
* Ant Colony - Pikachu is covered in ants.
* Cute Face
* Crowdsource
* The Discrete Metric
* Ethylene Dichloride - Nothing seems to happen, but Ethylene Dichloride is a toxic chemical, so there may be future consequences for the characters. After using it, ("not very effective") Pikachu remarks about the move:
** I used to be better at chemistry.
** This is still better than all the lightning crap.
* Extrude - Pikachu's head moves away from his body as his neck becomes long and malleable.
* Faceless - Pikachu's face disappears.
* Friendship - Pikachu is on Knit Cap Girl's head, signifying they are now friends. Friendship, though not a move, is a game mechanic in the video games.
* Granite - Pikachu is atop a block of granite.
* Graph Theory
* Ink Cloud - Pikachu is covered in ink. In the storyline Pikachu uses it, there is the option to "gather" the ink.
* Radicality - Pikachu is on a skateboard.
* Struggle - In one storyline, after Pikachu uses a number of moves, it says: "Now I only have Struggle left. Tie?" In the Pokémon games, when a Pokémon runs out of PP (Power Points, the energy required to use each of its moves) for all its moves, it may only use Struggle, a weak move, indefinitely reusable, that harms not only the opponent but the user as well.
* Theft - Pikachu wears Knit Cap Girl's hat. Pikachu seems to be using "Thief", a similarly-named actual move from the games, that is used to steal the foe's item and use it as its own.
* Uplift - Pikachu's head goes upward, separated from its body, showing a long, thick cable still connecting the head and the body.

Other remarks from Pikachu or about Pikachu:
* http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:e8cf1df0-bbd4-11e3-802e-002590d77bdd
** Pikachu: Aren't you going to catch me? It's not difficult, I promise... Please? [Knit Cap Girl and Hairy ignore him and go away)
*** Please! Jigglypuff keeps on drawing on my face!
*** You were walking in tall grass! You asked for it!
*** Please... Tame me! I want to party on days other than Thursday.
**** [Hairy remarks] Y'know, if we catch a Pikachu, we would never [sic] to pay our electric bills again.

Pokémon mentioned other than Pikachu:
* Charizard (In one storyline, "Go Charizard" is one usable move in battle)
* Jigglypuff
|}

==Transcript==
:[The comic starts with a single panel presenting four options by random order among these below.]

:*These stupid tiles... I'll just play one more game.
:*Oh. Hey. There's some kind of political thing going on.
:*Refresh... No new email... Refresh... No new tweets... Refresh...
:*Let's see if BSD is any easier to install nowadays.
:*Hurry! We're in talks with Facebook.
:*Gravity. Lots of it.

:[The reader can choose an option and the text appears at the panel.]

:[The next panels are shown after each selection until it comes to an end where the reader can suggest the last line spoken.]

==Trivia==
*Although impossible to finish it has been tried to make a complete [[1350: Lorenz/Transcript|interactive transcript]].
*How long can the comic become? This may increase indefinitely? But it would be interesting to have list the comics with most panels as found so far.
**If you beat a record please post the '''permalink''' here.
**Please note themes included in comic. Please move beaten records down or delete them.
*'''The all time longest''' (top three - please only include clearly different stories):
*# [http://www.xkcd.com/1350/#p:ea25460c-baf3-11e3-8001-002590d77bdd 39 panels] - Politics and Boomerang
*# [http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:6490cc4a-b9f0-11e3-8009-002590d77bdd 30 panels] - Space travel to Little Prince.
*# [xkcd.com/1350/#p:8737f5b4-ba92-11e3-8008-002590d77bdd 22 panels] - Walking and Pokémon.
**'''Themes'''
**#Space - [http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:6490cc4a-b9f0-11e3-8009-002590d77bdd 30 panels] - reaching Little Prince
**#Pokémon - [xkcd.com/1350/#p:8737f5b4-ba92-11e3-8008-002590d77bdd 22 panels] - moving past...
**#Sharks - [http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:30f53d98-bbb3-11e3-801c-002590d77bdd 13 panels] - reaching beach.
**#Dreams - [http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:6427a624-ba05-11e3-8017-002590d77bdd 14 panels] - after rocket take-off
**#Boomerang -
**#Dinosaur -
**#Political debate -
**'''Starting point''':
**#These stupid tiles... I'll just play one more game: [http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:6490cc4a-b9f0-11e3-8009-002590d77bdd 30 panels]
**#Let's see if BSD is any easier to install nowadays: [http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:6f59d766-ba95-11e3-8001-002590d77bdd 19 panels]
**#Oh. Hey. There's some kind of political thing going on: [http://www.xkcd.com/1350/#p:fc34f46a-ba98-11e3-8008-002590d77bdd 26 panels]
**#Refresh... No new email... Refresh... No new tweets... Refresh...: [http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:6427a624-ba05-11e3-8017-002590d77bdd 14 panels]
**#Hurry! We're in talks with Facebook: [http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:2f544ea2-bc12-11e3-8037-002590d77bdd 10 panels]
**#Gravity. Lots of it:

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:April fool's comics]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:Sharks]]

825: Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)

2014-04-03T18:27:49Z

Bluewin: Added more reason why this comic is incomplete

{{comic
| number = 825
| date = November 25, 2010
| title = Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)
| image = guest_week_jeffrey_rowland_overcompensating.png
| titletext = Guest comic by Jeffrey Rowland of Overcompensating/Wigu. Jeffrey is famous as the picture on the Wikipedia article on 'Necrosis'.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|There is more to it than what is below. In the transcript - why should it be Randall and not Black Hat? Also, needs explanation of Guest Week/links to other comics in Guest Week.}}
[[Black Hat]] (or perhaps [[Randall]]) is talking to {{w|Jeffrey Rowland}}, who writes the popular web comics Overcompensating (overcompensating.com/oc/index.php?comic=-1) and Wigu (wigucomics.com/adventures/index.php?comic=1)

This may be a reference to Scott Adams' {{w|God's Debris}}, in which a delivery guy has a long conversation about the nature of the universe with an old man. While often dealing with complex questions, the old man in the story presents arguments in a very straightforward way. Some have called some of the arguments in the book very clever and original, albeit overly simplistic. This comic could be a parody on that style of philosophy.

The title text is completely true: After a brown recluse spider bit him, {{w|Jeffrey Rowland|Rowland}} started experiencing cell death in his leg. Although the wound itself is benign, it still is featured in Wikipedia articles (such as {{w|Loxoscelism}}).

==Transcript==
:[Jeffrey Rowland and Randall are sitting together, with a globe between them. Mr. Rowland has a drink with a small umbrella over it.]
:Jeffrey Rowland: But enough of my theories about Thanksgiving. The ''real'' reason we're here is to discuss my hypothesis that dark matter ''itself'' is what consciousness is made of...

:[The frame focuses on Jeffrey Rowland.]
:Jeffrey Rowland: Unobservable to anything that is itself conscious in much the same way the mail-man won't deliver your mail if you are watching the mail-box

:[Mr. Rowland raises his drink.]
:Jeffrey Rowland: Which brings us to my theory about ghosts-
:Randall Munroe: Wait did you just say Thanksgiving was invented by the ''Turkey Voluntary Extinction Movement?''
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Randall Munroe]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Guest Week]]

825: Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)

2014-04-03T18:25:44Z

Bluewin: Added first paragraph (links to Black Hat, Randall, Rowland, Overcompensating, and Wigu)

{{comic
| number = 825
| date = November 25, 2010
| title = Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)
| image = guest_week_jeffrey_rowland_overcompensating.png
| titletext = Guest comic by Jeffrey Rowland of Overcompensating/Wigu. Jeffrey is famous as the picture on the Wikipedia article on 'Necrosis'.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|There is more to it than what is below. In the transcript - why should it be Randall and not Black Hat?}}
[[Black Hat]] (or perhaps [[Randall]]) is talking to {{w|Jeffrey Rowland}}, who writes the popular web comics Overcompensating (overcompensating.com/oc/index.php?comic=-1) and Wigu (wigucomics.com/adventures/index.php?comic=1)

This may be a reference to Scott Adams' {{w|God's Debris}}, in which a delivery guy has a long conversation about the nature of the universe with an old man. While often dealing with complex questions, the old man in the story presents arguments in a very straightforward way. Some have called some of the arguments in the book very clever and original, albeit overly simplistic. This comic could be a parody on that style of philosophy.

The title text is completely true: After a brown recluse spider bit him, {{w|Jeffrey Rowland|Rowland}} started experiencing cell death in his leg. Although the wound itself is benign, it still is featured in Wikipedia articles (such as {{w|Loxoscelism}}).

==Transcript==
:[Jeffrey Rowland and Randall are sitting together, with a globe between them. Mr. Rowland has a drink with a small umbrella over it.]
:Jeffrey Rowland: But enough of my theories about Thanksgiving. The ''real'' reason we're here is to discuss my hypothesis that dark matter ''itself'' is what consciousness is made of...

:[The frame focuses on Jeffrey Rowland.]
:Jeffrey Rowland: Unobservable to anything that is itself conscious in much the same way the mail-man won't deliver your mail if you are watching the mail-box

:[Mr. Rowland raises his drink.]
:Jeffrey Rowland: Which brings us to my theory about ghosts-
:Randall Munroe: Wait did you just say Thanksgiving was invented by the ''Turkey Voluntary Extinction Movement?''
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Randall Munroe]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Guest Week]]

1331: Frequency

2014-03-28T21:16:21Z

Bluewin: Fixed a typo

{{comic
| number = 1331
| date = February 17, 2014
| title = Frequency
| custom = <center><table><tr>
<td>[[File:heartbeat.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[File:birth.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[File:death.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[File:wikipedia.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[File:vibrator.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
</tr><tr>
<td>[[ File:car china.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:car japan.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:car germany.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:car us.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:car elsewhere.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
</tr><tr>
<td>[[ File:kiss.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:fire dept.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:holeinone.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:turnsignal1.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:turnsignal2.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
</tr><tr>
<td>[[ File:earthquake1.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:earthquake2.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:earthquake3.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:earthquake4.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:parliament toilet.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
</tr><tr>
<td>[[ File:flight.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:book mockingbird.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:cat mockingbird.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:phoenixshoes.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:phoenix.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
</tr><tr>
<td>[[ File:keys.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:amelia.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:dogbite.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:bike.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:eagle.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
</tr><tr>
<td>[[ File:bottles.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:recycled.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:meteor.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:oldfaithful.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:shark.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
</tr><tr>
<td>[[ File:us cancer.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:us cancer death.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:dog.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:cat.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:wedding.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
</tr><tr>
<td>[[ File:domain.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:house.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:tattoo.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:pulsar.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:facebook.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
</tr><tr>
<td>[[ File:iphone.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:littleleague.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:ndsex.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:bieber.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
<td>[[ File:denverpizza.gif|This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.]]</td>
</tr></table></center>
| titletext = This comic shows estimated average frequency. I wanted to include the pitch drop experiment, but it turns out the gif format has some issues with decade-long loops.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic shows a number of common events, arranged in a grid. Each of the events flashes with their average frequency.

For example, statistically a child is born somewhere on the world approximately every 0.24 seconds, or four times per second. Therefore the tile "One birth" blinks about 4 times per second.

The title text refers to the {{w|Pitch drop experiment}} which measures the flow of a piece of pitch over many years. At room temperature, tar pitch flows at a very slow rate, taking several years to form a single drop. The title text jokes that Randall tried to include a tile that flashes about once every {{w|decade|ten years}}, but the tiles are all {{w|Animated GIF|animated GIFs}} and while the file format supports animations of any length, the resulting file would be too big (at least 10 megabytes).

A thorough analysis of the frequencies present in this comic and how they relate to the underlying technology (the GIF format) was published as [http://notebooks.jsvine.com/reverse-engineering-xkcd-frequency/ Reverse Engineering xkcd's 'Frequency'].

The table below lists all the events and their duration / frequency. Some events make reference to other comics.

{| class="wikitable sortable"
!class="unsortable"|Picture
!class="unsortable"|Text
!Period (seconds)
!Frequency (per minute)
!Frequency (per year, N/I = not interesting)
!class="unsortable"|Explanation and/or references to other comics.
|-
|[[File:heartbeat.gif]]
|Heartbeat||style="text-align:right;"|0.86||style="text-align:right;"|70||style="text-align:right;"|33,000,000||The typical resting {{w|heart rate}} in adults is 60–80 beats per minute (bpm).
|-
|[[File:birth.gif]]
|One birth||style="text-align:right;"|0.24||style="text-align:right;"|250||style="text-align:right;"|131,490,000||The {{w|Birth rate|birth rate}} happens on earth.
|-
|[[File:death.gif]]
|One death||style="text-align:right;"|0.56||style="text-align:right;"|107||style="text-align:right;"|56,360,000||The {{w|Mortality rate|Mortality rate}} is much lower than the birth rate shown above, thus the world population still increases.
|-
|[[File:wikipedia.gif]]
|Someone edits Wikipedia||style="text-align:right;"|0.67||style="text-align:right;"|90||style="text-align:right;"|47,100,000||{{w|Wikipedia}} is an online, freely editable encyclopedia.
|-
|[[File:vibrator.gif]]
|Someone buys a vibrator||style="text-align:right;"|2.99||style="text-align:right;"|20||style="text-align:right;"|10,550,000 || This is just a joke, there are no reliable statistics on world wide vibrator productions or sells.
|-
|[[ File:car china.gif ]]
|China builds a car||style="text-align:right;"|1.89||style="text-align:right;"|32||style="text-align:right;"|16,700,000|| China is the biggest market for many western car manufacturers — most car makers are happy on that market — but the most cars for their own country they do produce in China itself.
|-
|[[ File:car japan.gif ]]
|Japan builds a car||style="text-align:right;"|4.01||style="text-align:right;"|15||style="text-align:right;"|7,870,000|| {{w|Toyota}} is the biggest car seller by the time of this comic.
|-
|[[ File:car germany.gif ]]
|Germany builds a car||style="text-align:right;"|5.8||style="text-align:right;"|10||style="text-align:right;"|5,440,000|| {{w|Volkswagen}} tries to overcome Toyota by 2018.
|-
|[[ File:car us.gif ]]
|The US builds a car||style="text-align:right;"|6.95||style="text-align:right;"|8.6||style="text-align:right;"|4,540,000|| The US car market did change, many rumours, but it isn't that misbehave published often in the press.
|-
|[[ File:car elsewhere.gif ]]
|Someone else builds a car||style="text-align:right;"|1.03||style="text-align:right;"|58||style="text-align:right;"|30,640,000|| All car manufactures dwarf about this — those "unknown" or "not recognized" countries like Brazil, India, will play an important rule on the future markets.
|-
|[[ File:kiss.gif ]]
|A European Union resident has their first kiss||style="text-align:right;"|5.53||style="text-align:right;"|11||style="text-align:right;"|5,700,000||
|-
|[[ File:fire dept.gif ]]
|A US fire department puts out a fire||style="text-align:right;"|23||style="text-align:right;"|2.6||style="text-align:right;"|1,370,000||
|-
|[[ File:holeinone.gif ]]
|Someone hits a hole-in-one||style="text-align:right;"|180||style="text-align:right;"|⅓ (20 per hour)||style="text-align:right;"|175,320||A {{w|hole in one}} is a feat in {{w|golf}} in which the player hits the ball directly from the tee into the cup with one shot. This does not account for possibility of [https://what-if.xkcd.com/85/ Rocket Golf].
|-
|[[ File:turnsignal1.gif ]]
|My turn signal blinks||style="text-align:right;"|0.94||style="text-align:right;"|64||style="text-align:right;"|N/I||This, together with "The turn signal of the car in front of me blinks", forms a reference to [[165: Turn Signals]].
|-
|[[ File:turnsignal2.gif ]]
|The turn signal of the car in front of me blinks||style="text-align:right;"|0.9||style="text-align:right;"|67||style="text-align:right;"|N/I||This, together with "My turn signal blinks", forms a reference to [[165: Turn Signals]].
|-
|[[ File:earthquake1.gif ]]
|Earthquake (magnitude 1)||style="text-align:right;"|2.43||style="text-align:right;"|25||style="text-align:right;"|13,000,000|| [[711: Seismograph]]
|-
|[[ File:earthquake2.gif ]]
|Earthquake (magnitude 2)||style="text-align:right;"|24.26||style="text-align:right;"|2.5||style="text-align:right;"|1,300,000|| Review [http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/map/#%7B%22feed%22%3A%221day_all%22%2C%22search%22%3Anull%2C%22sort%22%3A%22largest%22%2C%22basemap%22%3A%22grayscale%22%2C%22autoUpdate%22%3Atrue%2C%22restrictListToMap%22%3Atrue%2C%22timeZone%22%3A%22local%22%2C%22mapposition%22%3A%5B%5B-84.47406458459159%2C-25.6640625%5D%2C%5B84.4740645845916%2C425.390625%5D%5D%2C%22overlays%22%3A%7B%22plates%22%3Atrue%7D%2C%22viewModes%22%3A%7B%22map%22%3Atrue%2C%22list%22%3Atrue%2C%22settings%22%3Atrue%2C%22help%22%3Afalse%7D%7D USGS's Quake Map] for verification.
|-
|[[ File:earthquake3.gif ]]
|Earthquake (magnitude 3)||style="text-align:right;"|242.6||style="text-align:right;"|¼ (15 per hour)||style="text-align:right;"|130,000|| [[1037: Umwelt#Earthquake-Blizzard|1037: Umwelt]]
|-
|[[ File:earthquake4.gif ]]
|Earthquake (magnitude 4)||style="text-align:right;"|2426||style="text-align:right;"|0.025 (1.5 per hour)||style="text-align:right;"|13,000|| [[723: Seismic Waves]]; below this magnitude earthquakes pass by largely unnoticed by Tweeters.[http://earthquake.usgs.gov/learn/topics/mag_vs_int.php]
|-
|[[ File:parliament toilet.gif ]]
|A member of the UK parliament flushes a toilet||style="text-align:right;"|10.06||style="text-align:right;"|6||style="text-align:right;"|3,140,000||Note that probably during the daytime in Britain such a toilet is flushed 8.5 times per minute, while at night it is flushed only 1 time per minute.
|-
|[[ File:flight.gif ]]
|An airline flight takes off||style="text-align:right;"|0.93||style="text-align:right;"|65||style="text-align:right;"|34,000,000||
|-
|[[ File:book mockingbird.gif ]]
|Someone buys ''To Kill a Mockingbird''||style="text-align:right;"|42.05||style="text-align:right;"|1.4||style="text-align:right;"|750,000||“{{w|To Kill a Mockingbird}}” is a novel by {{w|Harper Lee}}, often an assigned reading in high school.
|-
|[[ File:cat mockingbird.gif ]]
|Someone's pet cat kills a mockingbird||style="text-align:right;"|1.82||style="text-align:right;"|33||style="text-align:right;"|17,340,000||Whereas the previous item references the well-known book “To Kill a Mockingbird”, this one talks about {{w|Mockingbird|mockingbirds}} being literally killed (in this case, by cats). There are 45 million mockingbirds in the world;[http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/accounts/Mimus_polyglottos/] this means that according to Randall, cats kill 39% of mockingbirds in one year, i.e. in 2.5 years they are able to kill all mockingbirds (excluding the ones that are born in the meantime).
|-
|[[ File:phoenixshoes.gif ]]
|Someone in Phoenix buys new shoes||style="text-align:right;"|1.08||style="text-align:right;"|56||style="text-align:right;"|29,200,000||Since {{w|Phoenix metropolitan area|metro Phoenix}} has 4,200,000 inhabitants, according to Randall people in Phoenix buy 7 pairs of shoes per capita per year.
|-
|[[ File:phoenix.gif ]]
|Someone in Phoenix puts on a condom||style="text-align:right;"|2.05||style="text-align:right;"|29||style="text-align:right;"|15,390,000|| ''Buy two pair of shoes, get a free condom''?
|-
|[[ File:keys.gif ]]
|Someone locks their keys in their car||style="text-align:right;"|2.43||style="text-align:right;"|25||style="text-align:right;"|13,000,000||
|-
|[[ File:amelia.gif ]]
|A Sagittarius named Amelia drinks a soda||style="text-align:right;"|7.79||style="text-align:right;"|7.7||style="text-align:right;"|4,000,000||Randall Munroe is a [http://blog.xkcd.com/2014/01/31/the-baby-name-wizard/ fan of The Baby Name Wizard] blog and its [http://www.babynamewizard.com Name Voyager] tool which shows that "[http://www.babynamewizard.com/baby-name/girl/amelia Amelia]" has recently exploded in popularity. 
This particular frequency is taken from:
* The number of persons called {{w|Amelia_(given_name)|Amelia}} ([http://howmanyofme.com/ est. 82,572 people in the U.S.])
* The number of persons born between November 22nd and December 22nd under the astrological sign of {{w|Sagittarius (astrology)|Sagittarius}} (~1/12th of the population, i.e. approximately 6881 Amelias in the U.S.)
* The frequency of soda (soft drinks) being drunk (216 liters per person per year in the U.S.[http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/foo_sof_dri_con-food-soft-drink-consumption]).
According to our figures, 6881 Amelias drink 1,44 million liters of soft drinks per year in the United States alone, which means that Randall's figures only account for American Amelias (drinking 356 cc or 12 fl. oz. of soda in each drink).
|-
|[[ File:dogbite.gif ]]
|A dog bites someone in the US||style="text-align:right;"|7.01||style="text-align:right;"|8.6||style="text-align:right;"|4,500,000||
|-
|[[ File:bike.gif ]]
|Someone steals a bicycle||style="text-align:right;"|24.93||style="text-align:right;"|2.4||style="text-align:right;"|1,265,000||
|-
|[[ File:eagle.gif ]]
|A bald eagle catches a fish||style="text-align:right;"|2.69||style="text-align:right;"|22||style="text-align:right;"|11,700,000||
|-
|[[ File:bottles.gif ]]
|50,000 plastic bottles are produced||style="text-align:right;"|1.27||style="text-align:right;"|47||style="text-align:right;"|1.24 trillion||
|-
|[[ File:recycled.gif ]]
|50,000 plastic bottles are recycled||style="text-align:right;"|4.64||style="text-align:right;"|13||style="text-align:right;"|340 billion||27% of the plastic bottles manufactured get [[885: Recycling|recycled]]
|-
|[[ File:meteor.gif ]]
|A bright meteor is visible somewhere||style="text-align:right;"|1.15||style="text-align:right;"|52||style="text-align:right;"|N/I||
|-
|[[ File:oldfaithful.gif ]]
|Old Faithful erupts||style="text-align:right;"|5640 (94 minutes)||style="text-align:right;"|0.011 (15 per day)||style="text-align:right;"|5,595||{{w|Old Faithful}} is a geyser in {{w|Yellowstone National Park}} in the US, that tends to erupt every 65 or 91 minutes. XKCD's period of 1h 34m falls between the [http://geysertimes.org/getGeyserInfo.php?geyserID=2 mean and median of recent Old Faithful eruptions] and corresponds to a [http://geysertimes.org/getSingleEruption.php?id=645135 February 16, 2014 eruption].
|-
|[[ File:shark.gif ]]
|A fishing boat catches a shark||style="text-align:right;"|0.83||style="text-align:right;"|72||style="text-align:right;"|38,000,000|| [[1326: Sharks]]; Shark populations have experienced severe declines due to fishing impacts both of {{w|shark finning|finning}} and by-catch.[http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=shark+population+decline+fishing]
|-
|[[ File:us cancer.gif ]]
|Someone in the US is diagnosed with cancer||style="text-align:right;"|18.99||style="text-align:right;"|3.2||style="text-align:right;"|1,660,000|| [[881: Probability]]
|-
|[[ File:us cancer death.gif ]]
|Someone in the US dies from cancer||style="text-align:right;"|54.34||style="text-align:right;"|1.1||style="text-align:right;"|580,000|| [[881: Probability]]
|-
|[[ File:dog.gif ]]
|Someone adopts a dog from a shelter||style="text-align:right;"|15.6||style="text-align:right;"|3.8||style="text-align:right;"|2,000,000||
|-
|[[ File:cat.gif ]]
|Someone adopts a cat from a shelter||style="text-align:right;"|21.3||style="text-align:right;"|2.8||style="text-align:right;"|1,500,000||
|-
|[[ File:wedding.gif ]]
|Someone gets married||style="text-align:right;"|0.75||style="text-align:right;"|80||style="text-align:right;"|42,000,000||
|-
|[[ File:domain.gif ]]
|Someone registers a domain||style="text-align:right;"|0.64||style="text-align:right;"|94||style="text-align:right;"|49,300,000 ||
|-
|[[ File:house.gif ]]
|Someone in the US buys a house||style="text-align:right;"|6.22||style="text-align:right;"|9.6||style="text-align:right;"|5,000,000||
|-
|[[ File:tattoo.gif ]]
|Someone in the US gets a tattoo||style="text-align:right;"|2.06||style="text-align:right;"|29||style="text-align:right;"|15,300,000||
|-
|[[ File:pulsar.gif ]]
|The star PSR J1748-2446AD rotates 1,000 times||style="text-align:right;"|1.4||style="text-align:right;"|42.9||style="text-align:right;"|N/I||{{w|PSR J1748-2446ad}} is the fastest spinning {{w|pulsar}} known.
|-
|[[ File:facebook.gif ]]
|Someone lies about their age to sign up for Facebook||style="text-align:right;"|4.32||style="text-align:right;"|14||style="text-align:right;"|600,000 per month||To sign up for Facebook, [https://www.facebook.com/help/210644045634222 the user must claim to be at least 13 years old]. This is a reflection of the U.S. {{w|Children's Online Privacy Protection Act}}.
|-
|[[ File:iphone.gif ]]
|Someone breaks an iPhone screen||style="text-align:right;"|0.93||style="text-align:right;"|65||style="text-align:right;"|34,000,000||
|-
|[[ File:littleleague.gif ]]
|A Little League player strikes out||style="text-align:right;"|1.23||style="text-align:right;"|49||style="text-align:right;"|N/I||{{w|Little League Baseball|Little League}} is a system of local youth baseball and softball competitions. A {{w|strikeout}} is a situation in baseball and softball.
|-
|[[ File:ndsex.gif ]]
|Someone has sex in North Dakota||style="text-align:right;"|1.38||style="text-align:right;"|43||style="text-align:right;"|22,900,000||Since {{w|North Dakota}} has 723,000 inhabitants (ranked the 48th state), and if we estimate the sexually active population as 80% (and if ''someone'' means ''a couple)'' this means that people in North Dakota have sex 79.1 times a year. It is estimated that 3.93% of the world population has sex on a given day;[http://geography.about.com/od/culturalgeography/a/geographyofsex.htm] Randall's rate for North Dakota is 17.3% which is not low.
|-
|[[ File:bieber.gif ]]
|Justin Bieber gains a follower on Twitter||style="text-align:right;"|4.73||style="text-align:right;"|13||style="text-align:right;"|556,000 per month|| [[802: Online Communities 2#Twitter Region|802: Online Communities 2]];  {{w|Justin Bieber}} is a Canadian pop music singer whose [https://twitter.com/justinbieber Twitter account] is extremely popular
|-
|[[ File:denverpizza.gif ]]
|Someone in Denver orders pizza||style="text-align:right;"|1.27||style="text-align:right;"|47||style="text-align:right;"|2,000,000||
|}

==Transcript==
:[Repetitive events are written in grey and arranged in a grid. Each statement pulses to black and then returns to grey at an interval characteristic of the named event.]

{| style="text-align:center;"
|- style="vertical-align: top; background-color:#eeeeee;"
|Heartbeat (0.86 sec)
|One birth (0.24 sec)
|One death (0.56 sec)
|Someone edits Wikipedia (0.67 sec)
|Someone buys a vibrator (2.99 sec)
|- style="vertical-align: top;"
|China builds a car (1.89 sec)
|Japan builds a car (4.01 sec)
|Germany builds a car (5.8 sec)
|The US builds a car (6.95 sec)
|Someone else builds a car (1.03 sec)
|- style="vertical-align: top; background-color:#eeeeee;"
|A European Union resident has their first kiss (5.53 sec)
|A US fire department puts out a fire (23 sec)
|Someone hits a hole-in-one (180 sec)
|My turn signal blinks (0.94 sec)
|The turn signal of the car in front of me blinks (0.9 sec)
|- style="vertical-align: top;"
|Earthquake (magnitude 1) (2.43 sec)
|Earthquake (magnitude 2) (24.26 sec)
|Earthquake (magnitude 3) (242.6 sec)
|Earthquake (magnitude 4) (2426 sec, 42 min)
|Member of the UK Parliament flushes a toilet (10.06 sec)
|- style="vertical-align: top; background-color:#eeeeee;"
|An airline flight takes off (0.93 sec)
|Someone buys ''To Kill a Mockingbird'' (42.05 sec)
|Someone's pet cat kills a mockingbird (1.82 sec)
|Someone in Phoenix buys new shoes (1.08 sec)
|Someone in Phoenix puts on a condom (2.05 sec)
|- style="vertical-align: top;"
|Someone locks their keys in their car (2.43 sec)
|A Sagittarius named Amelia drinks a soda (7.79 sec)
|A dog bites someone in the US (7.01 sec)
|Someone steals a bicycle (24.93 sec)
|A bald eagle catches a fish (2.69 sec)
|- style="vertical-align: top; background-color:#eeeeee;"
|50,000 plastic bottles are produced (1.27 sec)
|50,000 plastic bottles are recycled (4.64 sec)
|A bright meteor is visible somewhere (1.15 sec)
|Old Faithful erupts (5640 sec, 94 min)
|A fishing boat catches a shark (0.83 sec)
|- style="vertical-align: top;"
|Someone in the US is diagnosed with cancer (18.99 sec)
|Someone in the US dies from cancer (54.34 sec)
|Someone adopts a dog from a shelter (15.6 sec)
|Someone adopts a cat from a shelter (21.3 sec)
|Someone gets married (0.75 sec)
|- style="vertical-align: top; background-color:#eeeeee;"
|Someone registers a domain (0.64 sec)
|Someone in the US buys a house (6.22 sec)
|Someone in the US gets a tattoo (2.06 sec)
|The star ''PSR J1748-2446ad'' rotates 1,000 times (1.4 sec)
|Someone lies about their age to sign up for Facebook (4.32 sec)
|- style="vertical-align: top;"
|Someone breaks an iPhone screen (0.93 sec)
|A little league player strikes out (1.23 sec)
|Someone has sex in North Dakota (1.38 sec)
|Justin Bieber gains a follower on Twitter (4.73 sec)
|Someone in Denver orders a pizza (1.27 sec)
|}

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:Charts]]

821: Five-Minute Comics: Part 3

2014-03-18T20:16:17Z

Bluewin: Changed the one instance of "fox" in the 119 Little Pigs explanation to "wolf"

{{comic
| number = 821
| date = November 19, 2010
| title = Five-Minute Comics: Part 3
| image = five minute comics part 3.png
| titletext = Resulting in The Little Rock 9x + C.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the third and final "five-minute comics" post Randall made during November 2010. The introduction to the comic explains everything you need to know about the circumstances behind it.

*{{w|Pearl Harbor}} is a US Navy base that was {{w|Attack on Pearl Harbor|attacked}} in 1941 by Japanese airplanes, which prompted the US to join World War II. Of the attacks, Japanese Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto is claimed to have said "I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve" (although this claim is disputed, as the quote first appeared in the 1970 film ''Tora! Tora! Tora!'' and isn't substantiated by any sources that would have heard him say it).
:The attacks were made on ''December'' 7, 1941, not November 7. Thus, Randall is correct in depicting a Navy base going about its usual business.

*{{w|Breastfeeding in public}} is a touchy subject in parts of the world. In the US, it is considered by some to be inconsiderate to others who would prefer not to see such a display. Of course, women breastfeeding in public are generally feeding their infants, not other adults. The situation presented in the comic is an absurd exaggeration of the debate.

*"s" is the command in {{w|sed}} to perform a pattern search-and-replace; the syntax has also been adopted by other text-processing utilities, including {{w|Perl}} (a favorite subject of xkcd), and has entered into the geek lexicon as something that could appear in general conversation. The specific command "s/I think that/I saw a study once that said/g" means "Find all occurrences of the phrase 'I think that', and replace it with the phrase 'I saw a study once that said'." This will, indeed, improve the persuasiveness of an article, as the existence of scientific evidence will make people more likely to believe what's said, while most people won't even think to actually look up the study in question.

*Arson is the crime of intentionally setting fire to a structure. {{w|Billy Joel}} will no doubt claim {{w|We Didn't Start the Fire|he didn't start the fire}}.

*Coca-Cola is a fizzy cola-flavored soft drink, commonly abbreviated as "coke." {{w|Pop Rocks}} are a candy that contain tiny bubbles of gas, so that as the sugary candy dissolves on your tongue, it creates a popping sensation. For a long time, it was claimed that drinking the two together would cause one's stomach to explode; this was finally put to rest as some people (the Mythbusters in particular) started actually trying it, and discovered that nothing happened.
:Randall, of course, just thinks outside the box.

*After ''{{w|Brown v. Board of Education}}'' ruled that schools could not segregate based on race, nine African American students from Little Rock, Arkansas enrolled in the previously-segregated Little Rock Central High School. The school board could not officially deny them attendance, but members of the community (and, after Arkansas governor Orval Faubus intervened, the Arkansas National Guard) formed a blockade to physically prevent them from entering the school building. The governor claimed this was within his power even after ''Brown v. Board'', because the students were enrolled without issue, they were just physically blocked from entering the school building. After determining that the right to enroll in a school does, implicitly, include the right to actually attend classes there, president Eisenhower ordered the 101st Airborne Division to accompany the students and force the National Guard to stand down, thus integrating the school. This incident became known as the {{w|Little Rock Nine}}.
:However, {{w|Integral|integration}} also has a meaning in mathematics. This is indicated in the comic with the soldiers lifting up a giant integral sign to place beside the school, in order to (mathematically) integrate it. Normally, an integral only makes sense on functions; however, since this is the Little Rock ''Nine'', if we take the integral of the constant function ''f''(''x'') = 9, we do, in fact, get 9''x'' + ''C'', as stated in the title text.

*Cell phones with advanced computing capabilities, typically at least requiring fully-featured Internet browsing, multimedia capabilities, and the ability to run software applications, are called "smartphones." Most cell phones also have a "vibrate" function that allows someone in a public situation to receive calls without alerting others; the phone will discreetly vibrate rather than activate a ringtone, thus privately notifying the owner that a call is incoming. A semi-common problem with this feature is that a vibrating phone on a table that has a slight slope will slowly - or, if the slope is bad enough, rather quickly - slide down the slope, possibly falling off the table and breaking. If our smartphones ever decided to kill us, this would possibly be their only method of attack.
**Randall later covered this in his [[what if?]] blog. [http://what-if.xkcd.com/5/]

*The Three Little Pigs is a children's fairy tale about three pigs who build their houses out of, respectively, straw, sticks, and bricks. A wolf comes along and eats the pigs living in the straw and stick houses, but he can't knock down the brick house, because his only method for breaking them down is to blow on them until the material falls to pieces. The moral is something of an understated {{w|Murphy's law}}, that is, plan for the worst (getting your house knocked over) and it won't happen. Of course, a standard brick house is ''no'' match for the ''worst'' possible thing that could happen, the wolf dropping a nuke down the chimney.
:The 119 Little Pigs seems to be a variant where the pigs build their houses out of the 119 chemical elements. The 38th little pig builds his house out of {{w|strontium}}, which is, of course, the 38th element on the Periodic Table. One wonders what happened to the pigs who are stuck making their houses out of elements that are gaseous or liquid at room temperature, or those whose houses would react with the air and/or undergo nuclear decay.
:Although given the water content in exhaled breath, it's {{w|Alkali metal#Reaction with water (alkali metal hydroxides)|easy to see}} how the wolf would huff, puff, and blow down the houses made of {{w|lithium}}, {{w|sodium}}, {{w|potassium}}, {{w|rubidium}}, {{w|caesium}}, and {{w|francium}}. Though making a houses out of hydrogen, helium, nitrogen, oxygen, fluorine, neon, chlorine and krypton would all be very difficult as they are gasses at room temperature. Also, there would be issues such as death from the toxicity of the elements, e.g. fluorine would kill the wolf. The piggies may have difficulty collecting enough metal, as they would have trouble collecting enough Technetium (43), which doesn't naturally occur, and Astatine, of which approximately 1 ounce exists on earth.

*"Fastest gun in the West" is a boast commonly made in Western movies, where it is used to mean that a person is the fastest at drawing his gun in a duel (or, alternatively, can fire his gun the fastest). It doesn't actually describe the gun itself, and certainly doesn't describe how fast the gun can gallop across the land.

*"It's what separates the ''men'' from the ''boys''" is a phrase used to describe "macho" activities that, apparently, only "real men" will participate/do well in; all the other men haven't grown up yet, and are thus "boys." {{w|Centrifuge}}s are used to rapidly separate a material from the liquid it's suspended in, so apparently they can also be used to separate men from boys.
**In the film {{W|Moonraker_(film)|Moonraker}} {{W|James Bond}} was almost killed in a centrifuge used as a g-force training vehicle for pilots/astronauts - but he survived - and he for sure is a real man... See also [[123: Centrifugal Force]].

*Narnia is the mythical land in ''{{w|The Chronicles of Narnia}}''. In the books, time passes differently in Narnia, such that one can spend many years in Narnia and come out to find that almost no time at all has passed on Earth; conversely, during a short trip back to Earth, hundreds of years could pass in Narnia. {{w|Lucy Pevensie|Lucy}} is taking advantage of this by putting a computer in Narnia to perform extremely fast computation. {{w|Folding@home}} and {{w|SETI@home}} are distributed computing projects that aim to solve extremely large computational problems by pooling together computer resources of thousands of home computers who volunteer for the project; Folding@home looks at how proteins are folded, which has applications in medical science, and SETI@home analyzes EM waves from space, looking for signs extraterrestrial intelligent life amongst the cosmic background noise. Running through all of that data in a few hours would be quite an accomplishment indeed, given that, as Peter points out, the idea has many problems Lucy has evidently overcome:
**The book was written in 1957 and it occurs even earlier than that, long predating personal computers, so Lucy shouldn't even have one.
**Even if it occurs in an alternate universe where the PC was invented before 1957, the storage that would be needed to store the entire Folding@home and SETI@home databases would be far beyond her means, since the characters in the book are evacuees who don't have any money.
**Even if she somehow pulled that much storage space together, the time needed for one computer to run through those databases is on the order of millennia. A computer would not continuously run for that long without careful treatment, which Narnia is not equipped for.
**Even if we handwave around that issue (''"Aslan, use your power to keep all dust away from this computer for the next ten thousand years, please"''), the wall socket powering the computer is on the Earth side. Mains power outlets in the UK provide alternating current with an amplitude of 230 volts and a frequency of 50 hertz. The 50Hz part is what's important here: all devices designed to work with UK mains power expect a 50Hz sine wave. The time difference between Earth and Narnia would substantially elongate the sine wave in a method similar to the Doppler effect, which would probably prevent the computer from functioning at all, though ignoring this, the electricity costs would be too high.
**The time differential doesn't occur while people are entering/exiting Narnia (though they do occur while the wardrobe's open) or the Pevensie children would have had had some difficulty surviving the transition. Since the cables of the computer are crossing between the worlds, it seems unlikely that the time differential is even active yet.

*''{{w|The Honeymooners}}'' is a classic American sitcom. The show stars Ralph and Alice Kramden, and Ralph frequently makes empty threats of the form "One of these days, Alice...," followed by a combination of onomatopoeia. For example: "One of these days, Alice... BANG! ZOOM! Straight to the moon!" (Alice inevitably replies "Ahhh, shut up.")
:Here, Randall takes the pattern to a ridiculous and not-at-all threatening place.

==Transcript==
:Because of a family illness, instead of regular comics, this week I'll be sharing some strips that I drew as part of a game I played with friends. Each comic had to be written and drawn in five minutes.

:--Randall

:;Comic #1
:Pearl Harbor. November 7th, 1941.
:[There is a beach, with some ships floating in a crescent shaped harbor.]

:[The same bay, again.]

:[The boats continue to move about the harbor.]

:[The boats do their thing. A title explains.]
:(We're going to be here a while, since the attack wasn't until December.)

:;Comic #2
:[Cueball is sitting on a bus, Megan in front of him.]
:I know it's natural and all, but I really wish women on the bus wouldn't try to breastfeed me.
:Woman: C'mon, have some milk. Right here.
:Me: I'm ''reading''.

:;Comic #3
:s/I think that/I saw a study once that said that/g
:Instant persuasiveness multiplier!

:;Comic #4
:[A newspaper front page. Billy Joel is between two policemen.]
:Times
:Billy Joel Arrested for Arson

:;Comic #5
:[One person has a cord leaving their mouth, the other is holding a handset on the end of it to their ear.]
:Handset: Hee hee hee... *giggle*
:I hear that if you drink coke and eat pop rocks, you vomit up a corded telephone handset on which you hear creepy little girls giggling.

:;Comic #6
:[Three soldiers are holding a large integral sign, while a fourth points a gun at the Little Rock High School.]
:1957: Eisenhower orders the military to integrate Little Rock High School.

:;Comic #7
:[A smartphone is vibrating across a table, towards a person.]
:The smartphones got ''too'' smart... and developed a taste... for BLOOD!
:Fortunately, the only way they could move was by turning on their vibrate while on a sloped table.

:;Comic #8
:[Cueball is reading to his child.]
:Cueball: And the wolf went to see the 38th little pig, who had built his house out of strontium.
:Cueball: And the wolf was all, "Ok, what is ''with'' this shit?"
:The 119 Little Pigs

:;Comic #9
:[Cueball is holding up a gun.]
:Cueball: Fastest gun in the west!

:[The gun is galloping across the desert.]
:''gallop gallop''

:[There is a podium, with a gun in each position.]
:Winner!

:;Comic #10
:[A picture of a centrifuge dominates the panel.]
:Centrifuges: They're what separate the men from the boys.

:;Comic #11
:[A computer monitor is plugged in, and cables run into a wardrobe.]
:Lucy: Time passes differently in Narnia, so by putting the CPU and storage for my machine there, I was able to run through the Folding@Home and Seti@Home databases in about an hour.
:Peter: There are so many problems with that.

:;Comic #12
:[Someone is talking to Alice.]
:Person: One of these days, Alice... Wham, zoom, sploosh, fwoom, splash, gurlle, wheeeee, fwoosh, aren't waterslides fun?!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Five-minute comics]]

526: Converting to Metric

2014-03-06T14:38:36Z

Bluewin: Incomplete: Serenity and raptors both have other places in xkcd in which they are referenced

{{comic
| number = 526
| date = January 5, 2009
| title = Converting to Metric
| image = converting to metric.png
| titletext = According to River, "adequate" vacuuming systems drain the human body at about half a liter per second.
}}
==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Double-check that we got everything that isn't self-explanatory. Also, Serenity and raptors both have other places in xkcd in which they are referenced}}
Most people will eventually develop an intuitive feel for how big certain measurements are (e.g., how long an inch or a foot is, how much a pound weighs). This comic points out that people who were brought up using the {{w|Imperial measurement|imperial system}} probably don't have the same intuitive understanding for metric units and attempts to provide some benchmarks for these people. Most of the benchmarks are common sense, highly-useful ones (e.g., if it's 30 degrees centigrade, you'd be quite comfortable outside dressed for the beach) but some of the benchmarks are humorous and/or completely useless. Benchmarks include:

===Temperature===
* {{w|Extremes on Earth|Earth's Hottest}} - 60⁠℃: The hottest temperature recorded on earth is actually a full ten degrees higher, a whopping 70⁠℃.
* Various heat waves: {{w|Dubai}} is a city in the United Arab Emirates, and is smack-dab in the middle of an equatorial desert, so their heat waves can get ''hot!''. The southern Unites States will typically be a few degrees hotter than the northern United states simply because it's closer to the equator, but as mentioned they're both above "Beach Weather".
*-20⁠℃ - FuckFuckFuckCold and -30⁠℃ - Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!: This is basically what some people would say when they step outside at this temperature. At -30⁠℃, without taking wind chill into account, exposed skin will feel painful in under a minute and frostbite could begin in as little as ten minutes [http://www.ec.gc.ca/meteo-weather/default.asp?lang=En&n=5FBF816A-1].
*-40⁠℃ - Spit goes "clink": The temperature at which your spit would freeze ''before'' it hits the ground.

===Length===
*1 cm - Width of microSD card and 3cm - Length of SD card: Refers to the {{w|MicroSD card|memory cards}} used in cell phones, digital cameras, etc.
*1 m - {{w|Lightsaber|Lightsaber Blade}}: Refers the weapon used in the {{w|Star Wars}} movie franchise. Canonically, the length of a Lightsaber's blade varies greatly depending on the setting of the weapon, but "one meter" is by no means a bad approximation.
*170 cm - {{w|Summer Glau}}: Refers to the height of the actress who portrays the character River Tam on the TV show {{w|Firefly (TV series)|Firefly}}.
*200 cm - Darth Vader: Refers to the height of the main antagonist from Star Wars.
*16 m 4 cm - Human tower of Serenity crew: Again, this refers to the Firefly TV show, which takes place mostly on a space ship called Serenity. Presumably, if all the crew of Serenity were stacked on top of each other, this would be their combined height. The comic depicts four characters from the show standing on top of each other; the bottom figure is the crew's captain, {{w|Malcolm Reynolds}} in his signature coat.

===Speed===
*35 kph - 10 m/s - Fastest human: As of 2009, the fastest a human has been recorded to run in a single sprint is actually 45 kph, a record set by {{w|Usain Bolt}}.
*75 kph - 20 m/s - Raptor: It's a comic written by Randal, of course a reference to the raptors from ''Jurassic Park'' was going to be here.
*110 kph - 30 m/s - Interstate (65 MPH): Refers to the {{w|Interstate|American highway system}}.
*120 kph - 35 m/s - Speed you actually go when it says "65": People routinely break the aforementioned speed limit, and the police typically don't mind as long as it's not posing any danger. For the record, 120 kph is 74MPH.
*140 kph - 40 m/s - Raptor on Hoverboard: The Hoverboard is probably a reference to the ''Back to the Future'' series, though it's a fairly common trope in older science fiction stories.

===Volume===
*30 mL - Nasal Passages and 40mL - Shot Glass: The comic points out that you could just about fill a shot glass using the mucus from your nose. Since shot glasses are usually used for mixed drinks, the comic jokes that this mucus could constitute a new, disgusting drink.
*3 L - Two-liter bottle: Refers to a bottle which contains two liters (in the US usually soda). There is debate as to the reason for the discrepancy in volume.
*30 L - Milk Crate: Refers to a {{w|Milk crate|type of small box}} originally used to transport milk but now often in demand to be used as bicycle basket, storage spaces, etc.
*55 L - Summer Glau: Again, this refers to the actress from Firefly.
*65 L - {{w|Dennis Kucinich}}: An American politician belonging to the {{w|Democratic Party (United States)|Democratic party}}, noted for his relatively strong (for the US) leftist views.
*75 L - {{w|Ron Paul}}: An American politician belonging to the rival {{w|Republican Party (United States)|Republican party}}, noted for his strong rightist views. As hinted at in the comic, he, Kucinich and Glau would not get along at all well together trapped inside a fridge; but since their combined volume is less than that of a fridge, Cueball attempts to fit them all inside of one.

===Mass===
*3 g - {{w|M&M's|Peanut M&M}}: A small chocolate candy with a peanut inside
*5 kg - {{w|Lcd monitor|LCD Monitor}}: A modern flat-screen-style monitor.
*15 kg - {{w|CRT monitor|CRT Monitor}}: An older-style, cathode ray tube-based monitor.
*4 kg - Cat and 4.1 kg - Cat (With Caption): Refers to the internet's love of putting {{w|Lolcat|captions on cats}}. Usually, this is done in a graphics program, but here the cat is actually physically carrying around his caption. The "with caption" part is most likely a reference to [[262:_IN_UR_REALITY|Comic 262]], where [[Black Hat]] glues captions to cats, after running out of staples.
*150 kg - Shaq: {{w|Shaq|Shaquille O'Neal}}, a famously tall basketball player.
*200 kg - Your Mom, 220 kg - Your Mom (incl. cheap jewelry) and 223 kg - Your Mom (also incl. Makeup): Refers to a common type of {{w|Your mom|joking insult}} whereby someone insults someone else's mother in a creative way. Here, the comic slyly calls your mom fat and implies she wears way too much jewelry and almost 7 pounds of makeup.

The title text refers once again to Summer Glau's Firefly character, River, who (after being subjected to a long series of medical experiments) is severely mentally ill and often comes out with macabre — though scientifically accurate — pronouncements.

==Transcript==
:Guide to Converting to Metric
:The key to converting to metric is establishing new reference points. When you hear "26 degrees centigrade", instead of thinking "That's 79 degrees fahrenheit" you should think, "that's warmer then a house but cool for swimming." Here are some helpful tables of reference points:

:Temperature:
:60 degrees centigrade - Earth's Hottest
:45 degrees centigrade - Dubai Heat Wave
:40 degrees centigrade - Southern US Heat Wave
:35 degrees centigrade - Northern US Heat Wave
:30 degrees centigrade - Beach weather
:25 degrees centigrade - Warm Room
:20 degrees centigrade - Room Temperature
:10 degrees centigrade - Jacket Weather
:0 degrees centigrade - Snow!
:-5 degrees centigrade - Cold Day (Boston)
:-10 degrees centigrade - Cold Day (Moscow)
:-20 degrees centigrade - FuckFuckFuckCold
:-30 degrees centigrade - Fuuuuuuuuuuck!
:-40 degrees centigrade - Spit goes "clink"
:[Stick figure next to last three lines.]
:Man: ''Pthoo'' [Man spits.]
:Spit: ''Clink!'' [Spit bounces off ground.]

:Length
:1cm - Width of microSD card
:3cm - Length of SD card
:12cm - CD Diameter
:14cm - Penis
:15cm - BIC pen
:80cm - Doorway width
:1m - Lightsaber Blade
:170cm - Summer Glau
:200cm - Darth Vader
:2.5m - Ceiling
:5m - Car-length
:16m4cm - Human tower of Serenity crew
:[Human tower of Serenity crew stick figures depicted taking up from second line of panel to bottom.]

:Speed
:5 kph - 1.5 m/s - Walking
:13 kph - 3.5 m/s - Jogging
:25 kph - 7 m/s - Sprinting
:35 kph - 10 m/s - Fastest Human
:45 kph - 13 m/s - Housecat
:55 kph - 15 m/s - Rabbit
:75 kph - 20 m/s - Raptor
:100 kph - 25 m/s - Slow Highway
:110 kph - 30 m/s - Interstate (65 MPH)
:120 kph - 35 m/s - Speed you actually go when it says "65"
:140 kph - 40 m/s - Raptor on Hoverboard

:Volume
:3mL - Blood in a fieldmouse
:5mL - Teaspoon
:30mL - Nasal Passages
:40mL - Shot Glass
:So when it's blocked, the mucus in your nose could about fill a shot glass.
:[Image of a shot glass.] Related: I've invented the worst mixed drink ever.
:350mL - Soda Can
:500mL - Water Bottle
:3L - Two-Liter Bottle
:5L - Blood in a Human Male
:30L - Milk Crate
:55L - Summer Glau
:65L - Dennis Kucinich
:75L - Ron Paul
:200L - Fridge
:[Cueball shoving Ron Paul, Summer Glau, and Dennis Kucinich into fridge.]
:[Above fridge, circled, is 55+65+75<200]

:Mass
:3g - Peanut M&M
:100g - Cell Phone
:500g - Bottled Water
:1kg - Ultraportable Laptop
:2kg - Light-Medium Laptop
:3kg - Heavy Laptop
:5kg - LCD Monitor
:15kg - CRT Monitor
:4kg - Cat [Drawing of cat.]
:4.1kg - Cat (With Caption) [Drawing of cat, going "Mrowl?", and holding a caption.]
:60kg - Lady
:70kg - Dude
:150kg - Shaq
:[Stick figure of Megan and Cueball beside previous 3 lines.]
:200kg - Your Mom
:220kg - Your Mom (incl. cheap jewelry)
:223kg - Your Mom (also incl. Makeup)

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

1338: Land Mammals

2014-03-06T14:07:48Z

Bluewin: Fixed a typo (changed 49,7 to 49.7)

{{comic
| number = 1338
| date = March 5, 2014
| title = Land Mammals
| image = land_mammals.png
| titletext = Bacteria still outweigh us thousands to one--and that's not even counting the several pounds of them in your body.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|The division of animal blocks are clear but only 6 are labeled. Some qualified guesses as to how the other (at least the largest) blocks are divided should be possible... What about the layout of the blocks?}}

This comic shows the total weight of mankind and other land mammals.
Only in the last century or so have humans, and their pets and livestock, come to occupy such a great proportion of the earth's land mammal mass.

Per the diagram, there are 358 million tons of humans, 864 million tons of pets and livestock, of which 520 million tons comes from cattle, and 34 million tons of wild animals; for a total of 1.3 billion tons.

As of March 2014 the world population was about 7.2 billion people so the comic assumes an average human weighs of about 49.7 kg: 7.2 billion people × 49.7 kg = 358 billion kg = 358 million tons. Since it's very unlikely that Randall assumed 49.7 kg per person, it is more possible that he assumed the average human weighs 50 kg and the world population is 7.16 billion people. As more than 25% of the [http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/world-population-gender-age.php worlds population is below 15 years of age], and many people live in poverty (i.e. no chance of obesity), this estimate may be very valid, although it may at first appear on the low side.

Cattle is by far more heavy than the total human population, but we do manage to outweigh both sheep and pigs - which may come as a surprise - as these animals probably by far outweigh the population in the countries that produce the main part of the worlds meat from such animals.

It is interesting to note that the world's heaviest land dwelling animal - the elephant - only takes up one square! It is the only type of wild animal to be singled out in the comic.

There are 8 distinct blocks of wild animal (elephants and 7 others). There are 13 distinct blocks of pets and live stock (only the top 5 are labeled - in order of weight they are: Cattle, Sheep, Pigs, Goats and Horses). Dogs would properly also take up a large part - it could be the 6th largest, the one at the top - but how detailed are the division of species...?

Note that only land dwelling mammals are taken into account - thus no whales. It is not clear as to where, for instance, seals, sea lions and walruses belong - although they could belong to land mammals.

All other types of animals are not included. For instance, the weight of insects would outweigh us by far. Although not as much as the bacteria mentioned in the title text - they outweigh us 1000:1.

And that is without counting the part of our body weight that consist of bacteria: Several pounds. A fact that most people would properly like to ignore - which is a good reason to mention it here. These pounds are already counted as part of the total human weight.

The comic references the book [http://vaclavsmil.com/the-earths-biosphere-evolution-dynamics-and-change/ The Earth's Biosphere: Evolution, Dynamics, and Change] by {{W|Vaclav Smil}} as the source for most of the data - although a few other sources has also been used. These other sources are not referenced.

==Table of the block sizes==

*The table ranks each of the groups of blocks from 1 to 22 according to the size of the group = the number of blocks. # Blocks thus equals weight of the group in million tons = billion kg.
*There is total of 1256 blocks representing 1.256 billion tons.
**358 million tons of humans
**864 million tons of mammal pets and livestock
**34 million tons of wild land dwelling mammals

:Feel free to enter a comment on the groups especially those that are not already identified.

:The population should only be be stated (in millions) if it can found through references - the XKCD average weight (in kg) is then given from the number of blocks in the group.
{| class="wikitable sortable" style="width: auto; text-align: center; font-size: 95%; table-layout: fixed; line-height:1.25"
|-
! Rank
! # Blocks
! Type
! Text
!Population (millions)
!XKCD weight (kg)
!Notes/comments
|-
| 1
| 520
| Pets/Livestock
| Cattle
| 1000
| 520
| They only outweighs us by weight - not by numbers - there has been a stable [http://www.statista.com/statistics/263979/global-cattle-population-since-1990/ population] of about {{W|List of even-toed ungulates by population|1 billion cattle}} since 2007.
|-
| 2
| 358
| Humans
|
| 7200
| 49.7
| According to this [http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/ population counter] there are more than 7.2 billion people in the world today (as of march 2014).
|-
| 3
| 135
| Pets/Livestock
| Sheep
| 1000
| 135
|There is about {{W|List of even-toed ungulates by population|1 billion sheep}} according to wikipedia. The {{W|Domestic_sheep#Description_and_evolution|average sheep}} weight of 135 kg seems highly exaggerated as only the rams can weigh more then that.
|-
| 4
| 90
| Pets/Livestock
| Pigs
| 1000/2100?
| 90/43?
| According to the Wikipedia the {{W|Pig#Distribution_and_evolution|population of pigs}} is about {{W|List of even-toed ungulates by population|1 billion}}. According to the [http://apps.fas.usda.gov/psdonline/psdReport.aspx?hidReportRetrievalName=Swine+Summary+Selected+Countries&hidReportRetrievalID=1649&hidReportRetrievalTemplateID=7 2nd reference] given for this in the wiki article, there is, however, 1.3 billions, and then 0.8 billion more (probably piglets) for a total of 2.1 billion? The piglets will not weigh much though.
|-
| 5
| 39
| Pets/Livestock
| Goats
| 864
| 45
| The {{W|Goat#Worldwide_goat_population_statistics|goat popultaion}} can be summed up to 864 million from the wiki page. According to this list there are {{W|List of even-toed ungulates by population|850 million goats}}.
|-
| 6
| 29
| Pets/Livestock
| Horses
| 58
| 500
| According to Wikipedia there is a population of {{W|List of odd-toed ungulates by population|58 million}} horses. Horses can {{W|Horse#Size_and_measurement|weigh from 400-1000 kg}}. There are probably not that many foals compared to adults, as for instance for cattle and pigs.
|-
| 7
| 13
| Pets/Livestock
|
|
|
|
|-
| 8
| 10
| Wild animals
|
|
|
| The largest grouping of wild animals, less than 1/50 of the weight of cattle - although representing almost a third of all the wild land mammals.
|-
| 9
| 8
| Pets/Livestock
|
|
|
|
|-
| T10
| 7
| Pets/Livestock
|
|
|
|
|-
| T10
| 7
| Pets/Livestock
|
|
|
|
|-
| T10
| 7
| Wild animals
|
|
|
|
|-
| 13
| 6
| Pets/Livestock
|
|
|
|
|-
| T14
| 5
| Pets/Livestock
|
|
|
|
|-
| T14
| 5
| Wild animals
|
|
|
|
|-
| 16
| 4
| Wild animals
|
|
|
|
|-
| T17
| 3
| Pets/Livestock
|
|
|
|
|-
| T17
| 3
| Wild animals
|
|
|
|
|-
| T19
| 2
| Pets/Livestock
|
|
|
|
|-
| T19
| 2
| Wild animals
|
|
|
|
|-
| T19
| 2
| Wild animals
|
|
|
|
|-
| 22
| 1
| Wild animals
| Elephants
|
|
| The only wild animal to be singled out with text - also the heaviest land dwelling animal - but still only take up one block.
|-
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}
:Earth's Land Mammals by weight

:[After a block to indicate the size of each block:] = 1,000,000 tons

:[Dark gray block:] Humans [Light gray block:] Our pets and livestock [Green block:] Wild animals

:[The rest of the comic consist of blocks representing the weight of mammals. Some of the blocks are labeled:]
:Cattle
:Pigs
:Goats
:Sheep
:Elephants
:Horses

:[Bottom text:]
:Data from Vaclav Smil's The Earth's Biosphere: Evolution, Dynamics, and Change, Plus a Few Other Sources

{{comic discussion}}

345: 1337: Part 5

2014-03-03T20:10:49Z

Bluewin: incomplete: Needs links for other Cory Doctorow referneces

{{comic
| number = 345
| date = November 16, 2007
| title = 1337: Part 5
| image = 1337 part 5.png
| titletext = This digital music thing will probably reach its endgame sometime in the next decade or so. These are very exciting times.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete| Cory Doctorow has been mentioned in what other comics?}}

{{w|Richard Stallman}} is the ardent defender of freedom and believer in {{w|copyleft}}, he also founded the {{w|GNU Project}}.

{{w|Cory Doctorow}} is a blogger, journalist, and science fiction author who serves as co-editor of the weblog {{w|Boing Boing}}. He is an activist in favour of liberalising copyright laws and a proponent of the {{w|Creative Commons}} organization.

{{w|Bram Cohen}} is the founder of {{w|BitTorrent}}, a distributed method of downloading files.

The {{w|Dread Pirate Roberts}} is a fictional character from the book and movie {{w|The Princess Bride}}. Roberts is the most feared pirate on the seas. But, "Dread Pirate Roberts" is merely a title that has been passed down as previous "Roberts" have gained enough money (from piracy) to retire comfortably. Wesley, one of the main characters from The Princess Bride, becomes the Dread Pirate after being taken prisoner by the preceding Pirate Roberts. If Elaine became Dread Pirate Roberts, she would be a true Dread Pirate Roberts.

{{w|Ubuntu}} is probably the most well known {{w|Linux}} distribution. A Linux distribution is any operating system that is based on the Linux {{w|kernel}}.

All comics in "[[:Category:1337|1337]]" series:
*[[341: 1337: Part 1]]
*[[342: 1337: Part 2]]
*[[343: 1337: Part 3]]
*[[344: 1337: Part 4]]
*[[345: 1337: Part 5]]

This series was released on 5 consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

==Transcript==
:[Two RIAA agents attack Elaine and Stallman. Elaine breaks RIAA #1, while Stallman disarms RIAA #2 in a flying manouvre.]
:Elaine: Thanks, Stallman!
:Stallman: 'Tis my pleasure.

:Elaine: So, wait - how did you know we were in trouble?
:Stallman: My friend here was tracking these thugs from his balloon. He called me and I thought I'd stop by
:[Doctorow slides down a rope in red cape & goggles.]
:Doctorow: -Hi! Cory Doctorow - It's a pleasure to meet you.

:Elaine: Balloon?
:Stallman: Aye. They're up there constructing something called a "Blogosphere."
:Doctorow: Yup! It's twenty kilometers up, just above the tag clouds.

:Bobby: Mom, I'm hungry.
:Mrs. Roberts: Hush! I'm coding. You ate yesterday.
:Stallman: You know, Roberts, GNU could use a good coder like you. Ever thought of joining us?
:Elaine: Maybe someday. Right now I've got an industry to take down. Music doesn't need these assholes.
:Doctorow: Begone! And never darken our comment threads again!

:Stallman: Well, you won't fix the industry with random exploits. You need to encourage sharing in the public mind.
:Doctorow: Hey; With your music and coding backgrounds, you should get into building better p2p systems.

:Elaine: What? Straight-up piracy?
:Doctorow: Sure- have you ever considered it? You'd make a wonderful dread pirate, Roberts

:Epilogue
:Elaine shared her ideas with Bram Cohen, who went on to develop BitTorrent.
:Mrs. Roberts spends her time developing for Ubuntu, and defacing the websites of people who make "your mom" jokes to her daughter. Elaine still stalks the net. She joins communities, contributes code or comments, and moves on. And if, late at night, you point a streaming audio player at the right IP at the right time - you can hear her rock out.
:~Happy Hacking.~

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Elaine Roberts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Richard Stallman]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cory Doctorow]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Mrs. Roberts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:1337|05]]

870: Advertising

2014-02-26T21:08:44Z

Bluewin: I just leaned how to indent a paragraph, so I fixed last edits indent

{{comic
| number = 870
| date = March 9, 2011
| title = Advertising
| image = mathematically annoying.png
| titletext = I remember the exact moment in my childhood when I realized, while reading a flyer, that nobody would ever spend money solely to tell me they wanted to give me something for nothing. It's a much more vivid memory than the (related) parental Santa talk.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic pokes fun at some advertising tricks, analyzing them mathematically.

*"Up to 15% or more" is a reference to the {{w|Geico}} car insurance commercials: "15 minutes could save you up to 15% or more on car insurance." "Up to" means "less than or equal to," so the phrase means "less than, equal to, or more than 15%," which is a {{w|tautology}}.

:The first line uses notation from {{w|set theory}} and reads out as: The {{w|Union (set theory)|union}} of {{w|Set (mathematics)|sets}} A and B equals the set of all x, such that x is {{w|Inequality (mathematics)|less than or equal to}} 15, or greater than 15, which equals the set of all {{w|real numbers}}.
:Below is a {{w|number line}} (with the numbers being interpreted as {{w|percentages}}) the black dot indicates that the number 15 is included, and the white dot indicates that 15 is not included, but only strictly bigger numbers.

:Geico's ad is also referenced in [[42: Geico]]

*[http://thepiratebay.se/search/some%20things/0/6/0 Some things] in life are free. However, typically not those aggressively advertised, with a capital "free!" splashed right over the ads, followed by a small asterisk, indicating the presence of a {{w|fine print}}, ensuring that they are only technically not guilty of {{w|false advertising}}. (Get a '''FREE'''* drink!)

:The little formula [[Randall]] gives, is to calculate the least amount of money that they expect to make from you. The suggestion is that they expect their income from the ad to be more than what they paid for it. (*with the purchase of a $6 meal)

*Some sales are based on a scaling percentage rate - for example, all items are 20% off, but if you spend more than $200, you get 30% off instead, and so on. These are almost universally proclaimed with a phrase like "The more you spend, the more you save!" This is of course nonsense, as "spending" is the opposite of "saving", and the deal is there to make you spend more.

==Transcript==
:Mathematically Annoying Advertising:

:A ∪ B = {x:x ≤ 15 or x > 15} = ℝ
:[line graph representing the above equation.]
:When discussing real numbers, it is impossible to get more vague than "up to 15% or more".

:["FREE!*" in large text, with substantial illegible fine print.]
:If someone has paid $x to have the word "free" typeset for you and N other people to read, their expected value for the money that will move from you to them is at least $(x / (N+1))

:[Graph representing inverse relationship between "amount you spend" on the y axis and "amount you save" on the x axis.]
:It would be difficult for the phrase "the more you spend the more you save" to be more wrong.

==Trivia==
Randall changed the image name from advertising.png to mathematically_annoying.png, since adblocking extensions interpreted it as an ad and made the comic blank. He had the same problem again just three months later with [[906: Advertising Discovery]].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Charts]]

870: Advertising

2014-02-26T21:07:26Z

Bluewin: Added reference to comic 42

{{comic
| number = 870
| date = March 9, 2011
| title = Advertising
| image = mathematically annoying.png
| titletext = I remember the exact moment in my childhood when I realized, while reading a flyer, that nobody would ever spend money solely to tell me they wanted to give me something for nothing. It's a much more vivid memory than the (related) parental Santa talk.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic pokes fun at some advertising tricks, analyzing them mathematically.

*"Up to 15% or more" is a reference to the {{w|Geico}} car insurance commercials: "15 minutes could save you up to 15% or more on car insurance." "Up to" means "less than or equal to," so the phrase means "less than, equal to, or more than 15%," which is a {{w|tautology}}.

:The first line uses notation from {{w|set theory}} and reads out as: The {{w|Union (set theory)|union}} of {{w|Set (mathematics)|sets}} A and B equals the set of all x, such that x is {{w|Inequality (mathematics)|less than or equal to}} 15, or greater than 15, which equals the set of all {{w|real numbers}}.
:Below is a {{w|number line}} (with the numbers being interpreted as {{w|percentages}}) the black dot indicates that the number 15 is included, and the white dot indicates that 15 is not included, but only strictly bigger numbers.

Geico's ad is also referenced in [[42: Geico]]

*[http://thepiratebay.se/search/some%20things/0/6/0 Some things] in life are free. However, typically not those aggressively advertised, with a capital "free!" splashed right over the ads, followed by a small asterisk, indicating the presence of a {{w|fine print}}, ensuring that they are only technically not guilty of {{w|false advertising}}. (Get a '''FREE'''* drink!)

:The little formula [[Randall]] gives, is to calculate the least amount of money that they expect to make from you. The suggestion is that they expect their income from the ad to be more than what they paid for it. (*with the purchase of a $6 meal)

*Some sales are based on a scaling percentage rate - for example, all items are 20% off, but if you spend more than $200, you get 30% off instead, and so on. These are almost universally proclaimed with a phrase like "The more you spend, the more you save!" This is of course nonsense, as "spending" is the opposite of "saving", and the deal is there to make you spend more.

==Transcript==
:Mathematically Annoying Advertising:

:A ∪ B = {x:x ≤ 15 or x > 15} = ℝ
:[line graph representing the above equation.]
:When discussing real numbers, it is impossible to get more vague than "up to 15% or more".

:["FREE!*" in large text, with substantial illegible fine print.]
:If someone has paid $x to have the word "free" typeset for you and N other people to read, their expected value for the money that will move from you to them is at least $(x / (N+1))

:[Graph representing inverse relationship between "amount you spend" on the y axis and "amount you save" on the x axis.]
:It would be difficult for the phrase "the more you spend the more you save" to be more wrong.

==Trivia==
Randall changed the image name from advertising.png to mathematically_annoying.png, since adblocking extensions interpreted it as an ad and made the comic blank. He had the same problem again just three months later with [[906: Advertising Discovery]].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Charts]]

42: Geico

2014-02-26T21:06:06Z

Bluewin: Added reference to comic 870

{{comic
| number = 42
| date = November 28, 2005
| title = Geico
| image = geico.jpg
| titletext = David did this
}}

==Explanation==
This comic references a long-running ad campaign for {{w|Geico}} insurance in which a character (different in each commercial) lists a series of horrible events or news, but then caps it off with "but I've got good news: I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico" – news which may be good, but is usually either trivial compared to the magnitude of the preceding bad news, or else is said to the person whom all of the preceding bad news applied to, giving them false hope that the good news was for them. It became a recognizable pop culture phrase. Geico's ad is also mentioned in [[870: Advertising]]

In this one-panel comic, [[Cueball]] parodies the punchline by saving money on his car insurance by intimidation, instead of choosing the best provider.

It is unclear who David is that is referred to in the title text, but he's referred to again in the image text for comic [[51: Malaria]] and [[100: Family Circus]]. It is similarly unclear what "this" is that he did, whether it is the comic, or whether [[Randall Munroe|Randall]] is suggesting that David saved money on his car insurance by threatening his insurance agent.

==Transcript==
:Cueball: I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by threatening my agent with a golf club.

==Trivia==
*Original quote from [[Randall]]: "Current mood: :( sick"
*Original comment from [[Randall]]: "No laughing, 'less you want some of this too! *hefts golf club menacingly*"
*This is the thirty-eighth comic originally posted to livejournal. The previous was [[35: Sheep]]. The next was [[38: Apple Jacks]].

{{Comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics posted on livejournal]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

32: Pillar

2014-02-26T20:55:33Z

Bluewin: Needs an explanation of the philosopher on a pole reference

{{comic
| number = 32
| date = November 19, 2005
| title = Pillar
| image = pillar.jpg
| titletext = A comic by my brother Doug, redrawn and rewritten by me
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|The philosopher on the pole is a reference to something}}
Two characters ponder the unanswerable philosophical question of whether all people observe the universe the same, or whether, for example, what one person sees as "red" might be what another see as "green". They muse that no one really knows how anyone else sees the world.

The misdirection and punchline of the comic comes when lefty asks if righty can get him down from the pole he's been standing on for the entire comic. Righty's reply indicates that he does not see a pole, proving that one person does observe the world differently than another; in this case, in a far more extreme and unexpected way than color differences.

Another interpretation of the punchline is that righty doesn't like lefty's idea of questioning all of human existence, and mocks that philosophy by pretending not to see that lefty is on the pole.

As noted, this comic is based on a comic drawn by [[Randall Munroe|Randall]]'s brother Doug, although Randall apparently redrew and rewrote it. Unlike most other ''[[xkcd]]'' comics, the "panels" of this comic are not divided and are drawn within a single frame.

==Transcript==
:This one is mostly by my little brother, Doug.

:[Cueball on a tall pillar is talking to his friend on the ground]
:Cueball: The sky is so blue, and all the leaves are green.
:Friend: Haven't you ever wondered if we really see the same colors as everyone else? It's all perception.

:Cueball: Well, you might as well call into question all of human experience. Who really knows what world someone else sees?
:Friend: Yeah, I guess.

:Cueball: Anyway, can you help me down from this pole?
:Friend: What pole?

==Trivia==
*This is the thirty-fourth comic originally posted to livejournal. The previous was [[31: Barrel - Part 5]]. The next was [[33: Self-reference]].

{{Comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics posted on livejournal]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]

10: Pi Equals

2014-02-25T16:29:16Z

Bluewin: Added an explanation of finding stings in pi, but not the hyperlink

{{comic
| number = 10
| date = September 30, 2005
| title = Pi Equals
| image = pi.jpg
| titletext = My most famous drawing, and one of the first I did for the site
}}

==Explanation==
There are two possible references here. One is from the book ''{{w|Contact (novel)|Contact}}'' by Carl Sagan, where the existence of God was shown in the last chapter to be encoded in the digits of {{w|pi}}. The other is an old joke of a {{w|Fortune cookie|fortune cookie}} with a fortune that reads "Help! I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory!" This joke is also referenced in [[327: Exploits of a Mom]]'s title text, where [[Mrs. Roberts]] [[Elaine Roberts|daughter]]'s name is "Help I'm trapped in a driver's license factory."

It's said that because pi never ends and never repeats, if you assign each number pair a letter from the alphabet and look through the digits of pi somewhere is the entire work of Shakespeare, or any other book/phrase/series. So somewhere in pi there actually is the phrase stated in the comic.

This could also work for pictures if you assign a set of numbers to equal an x coordinate, a y coordinate, and an RGB value.

[http://www.angio.net/pi/whynotpi.html Probability of Finding Strings In Pi.]

==Transcript==
:Pi = 3.141592653589793helpimtrappedinauniversefactory7108914...

==Trivia==
*This is the eleventh comic originally posted on livejournal. The previous was [[9: Serenity is coming out tomorrow]]. The next was [[14: Copyright]]. View archive [http://liveweb.archive.org/web/20070927001941/http://xkcd-drawings.livejournal.com/?skip=40 here].
*The book version of this comic (in ''[http://store.xkcd.com/products/xkcd-volume-0 xkcd: volume 0]'') has different title text: ''"I've put rescue instructions in e. You'll need the cheat codes for your universe, which I hid in the square root of two."''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics posted on livejournal]]
[[Category:Math]]

4: Landscape (sketch)

2014-02-25T16:13:11Z

Bluewin: Added an incomplete explanation to the title text

{{comic
| number = 4
| date = September 30, 2005
| title = 4: Landscape (sketch)
| image = landscape_cropped_(1).jpg
| titletext = There's a river flowing through the ocean
}}

==Explanation==
The early comics sometimes do not present a particular point, but are just pictures drawn by [[Randall]].

There is a joke in the title text that a river, made of water, is flowing through the ocean, which is also made of water

==Transcript==
:[A sketch of a landscape with sun on the horizon.]

==Trivia==
*This is the second comic originally posted on livejournal. The previous was [[7: Girl sleeping (Sketch -- 11th grade Spanish class)]]. The next was [[3: Island (sketch)]]. View archive [http://liveweb.archive.org/web/20070927001941/http://xkcd-drawings.livejournal.com/?skip=40 here].
*Original title: "Landscape"
*Original [[Randall]] quote: "Don't ask me why there's a river running through the ocean. Please."

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics posted on livejournal]]

1193: Externalities

2014-02-24T02:54:33Z

Bluewin: Needs an explanation of some of the names in panel five

{{comic
| number = 1193
| date = April 1, 2013
| title = Externalities
| image = externalities.png
| titletext = Mouse over words and things to see where they come from.
}}
==Explanation==
{{incomplete|BAIDU has to be explained. Also, perhaps an explanation of some of the name references in panel 5}}
This comic isn't a static image - even the title text changes depending on which part of the image you're hovering over. It presented a competition for students to see who could come closest to break a {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}} but also an aid appeal for the Wikimedia Foundation.

__TOC__

The blank regions in the above image are dynamically generated from various sources.
*The university that is being recruited changes depending on which university is winning the hash finding competition in the fifth panel.
*The company doing the recruiting is randomly selected from a pool of companies. It was formerly the first NASDAQ-100 company mentioned on a varying Wikipedia page.
*The text in the second panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Second Panel|this section]].
*The text in the third panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Third Panel|this section]].
*The text in the fourth panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Fourth Panel|this section]].
*The text in the fifth panel [[1193: Externalities#Fifth Panel|changes]], depending on which university is currently in third place in a hash finding competition. Clicking on the panel takes you to [http://almamater.xkcd.com/ a webpage] where people can enter their school's domain name and hash data, and ranks schools on how close their students can come to matching a Skein 1024 1024 hash value.
*The text in the top half of the sixth panel may vary. See [[1193: Externalities#Sixth Panel|this section]]. The second half of the panel is always the same.
*The last panel varies with the amount donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via [https://donate.wikimedia.org/?utm_medium=socialmedia&utm_campaign=xkcd_april1 this link]. For past images, see [[1193: Externalities#Seventh Panel|this section]].

===Hashing Competition===
For the two days until comic 1194 appeared, a competition was underway to see who could come closest to breaking a {{w|Skein (hash function)|Skein hash}}. The first text line of the first panel contains a link to http://almamater.xkcd.com. This page contained the text:

:Currently looking for Skein 1024 1024 input matching
<pre>5b4da95f5fa08280fc9879df44f418c8f9f12ba424b7757de02bbdfbae0d4c4fdf9317c80cc5fe04c6429073466cf29706b8c25999ddd2f6540d4475cc977b87f4757be023f19b8f4035d7722886b78869826de916a79cf9c94cc79cd4347d24b567aa3e2390a573a373a48a5e676640c79cc70197e1c5e7f902fb53ca1858b6</pre>

On this page, users were invited to enter "Your school's domain name"—presumably intended to be their college alma mater. (At least in the beginning, only a few top-level domains were accepted.) If the user entered an acceptable domain (by xkcd's rules, which apparently changed during the 48 hours of the competition), he could then enter data values one at a time. For each data value entered, xkcd returned a hash value and the number of bits by which it differed from the target value. The object was to achieve the lowest possible number of differing bits, ideally zero.

A ranking page showed the lowest value achieved for each domain name entered, but not the data that achieved it. The first name on the list was substituted in various panels, and the third-place school showed in panel five. No data values were reported by xkcd, but various results were posted by users of the xkcd forums and on other websites, leading to copycat submissions, so that occasionally large numbers of institutions would show the same moderately low value.

After the end of the contest, the data submission page vanished, replaced by the final list of rankings, which shows that Carnegie Mellon University achieved the best score with 384 bits incorrect out of 1024. The rankings only show a few hundred out of the several thousand domains submitted—presumably Randall chose to chop the copycat submissions off the end of the list, retaining only honestly obtained results.

===First Panel===
In some cases, Megan's reply seems to correspond to the company.
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you applied to [company] yet?
:Megan: The recruiter hasn't emailed me back in over three minutes.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you applied to [company] yet?
:Megan: The recruiter hasn't emailed me back in over an hour!
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: I'm not that good at math.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: What do they even do?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: I don't like monopolies.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Only in my darkest moments.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Be part of the Apple experience!
:Megan: I'm not really a fan of turtlenecks.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work at Microsoft!
:Megan: I only came to this tech talk for the xbox giveaway.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Y U No Work Yahoo?
:Megan: I like working from home!
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Become a partner at Starbucks!
:Megan: But green's not my colour.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work in the Amazon!
:Megan: I don't have to actually move to South America, do I?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Not after that presentation.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Thought about working for Intel?
:Megan: I'm not that great at division.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Dude, you should work at Dell!
:Megan: That catchphrase is so old.
|-
|
:Ahoy, carnegie melonites!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Not after that presentation.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you looked for a job at Kraft Foods?
:Megan: I'm allergic to sugar
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:How about working for Whole Foods?
:Megan: Could I afford the food if I did?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work at EBay!
:Megan: Maybe if they made a good bid.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work for Activision... er... Blizzard... er...
:Megan: Activision Blizzard?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students! <nowiki>|</nowiki> Ahoy. Carnegie Melonites!
:Come find your future at Baidu!
:Megan: But nothing about Tiananmen Square.
|}

===Second Panel===
The text in the second panel is based on the company in the first panel:
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:When the Singularity happens, it will happen here.
:Ponytail: [Company] has outgrown us.
:Men: It is time.
|-
|
:Think of ways to make things smaller and smaller!
:Ponytail: I'm worried mine is too big.
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:Think of ways to make things smaller and smaller!
:Ponytail: But will it blend?
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:You'll be part of a dynamic research team envisioning the future.
:Ponytail: It probably looks cool.
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:You'll be creating the future of commerce platforms!
:Ponytail: More recommendations.
:Men: Yep.
|-
|
:You'll be an insignificant cog in our giant machine
:Ponytail: We should improve Notepad
:Men: Nah
|-
|
:We can't tell you what you'll be working on.
:Ponytail: [Confidential]
:Men: [Redacted]
|-
|
:You'll be an insignificant cog in our giant machine
:Ponytail: Needs more Bob.
:Men: Nah
|-
|
:You'll help set the future of the company
:Ponytail: Wait. You hired a college grad as the CFO?
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:At Qualcomm, we know you're born mobile.
:Ponytail: Born mobile!
:Men: Texting!
|-
|
:Short or tall, we've got a grande job for you!
:Ponytail: How many job openings are there?
:Men: Ele-venti or so.
|-
|
:You'll help direct the future of nutrition
:Ponytail: Microwaveable toast
:Men: Delicious
|-
|
:Help us find and provide the best healthy, local, and sustainable products.
:Ponytail: Hey guys, how about kale cookies?
:Men: Sounds great!
|-
|
:We're the Classmates.com to Facebook's Craigslist.
:Ponytail: Maybe we should use game theory.
:Men: Why Bother?
|-
|
:Whatever. Come create the future of gaming!
:Ponytail: Call of Duty 14.
:Men: That's genius!
|-
|
:It takes great minds to stifle other great minds.
:Ponytail: Let's block Canada
:Men: Sounds good.
|}

===Third Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:We're a convenient four hour drive from New York City (15,000 hours by Roomba)
|-
|
:Only a short commuter flight away!
|-
|
:Travel to us by Roomba, we're *that* close!
|-
|
:We're so close you can get to us by Roomba.
|-
|
:Free Roomba rides every morning while you have coffee.
|-
|
:Your Roomba comes in black & slate, or white & silver
|-
|
:Just a short Roomba ride up the coast, try not to fall off.
|-
|
:We know what everyday life is like for your generation:
|}

===Fourth Panel===
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
|
:Our recruiting team is on the lookup for promising young [university] graduates.
|-
|
:We hired a new recruiting startup to help us hire [university] students.
|-
|
:We borrowed the botanical gardens' net to catch promising recruits.
|-
|
:We prefer to recruit from [university] students, of course.
|-
|
:Our recruiters are on the hunt for unaware [university] graduates.
|}

===Fifth Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:Or students from [university], if they're clever with their applications
|-
|
:Possibly [university] grads, if their form-filling startup works out.
|-
|
:Or [university] graduates, provided any of them manage to fill out the application correctly.
|-
|
:Or [university] graduates, if they manage to fill out the application correctly.
|}

The text in the form varies independently of the text at the top, sometimes related to the organization in 3rd place:

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
!Organization
!Name
!Email
!Education
|-
|MIT
|Oliver Smoot
|pgp encrypted
|have you ever really looked at the fourier
|-
|
|Wheeeee
|ford.com
|stealing lunches from startups
|-
|CMU
|leeroy jenkins
|me@car
|I can cut up melons
|-
|CMU
|pittsburgh
|me@car
|I can cut up melons
|-
|
|SEGMENTATION FAULT
|save trees
|Contra dancing.
|-
|Cambridge
|I'm applying
|cam.gov
|on going problems with birds
|-
|
|certainly
|elephant
|An excellent year in the Sahara
|-
|Stanford
|Stanford
|ford.com
|Stealing lunches from startups
|-
|Stanford
|Yes Please
|@twitter
|Are you Stanford?
|-
|
|Applying
|For a job
|I would like to work at you
|-
|St.Olaf
|Me olaf
|You Helga
|Hunting wooly mammoths
|-
|Ohio State
|Oh!
|IO
|O HAI O
|-
|
|FOLLOWBACK
|TOTALLY.EDU.US
|CONVENIENT US DOMAIN REDIRECTS
|-
|
|Mancher
|Outlook
|Made a collage out of macaroni
|-
|Stanford
|Yes Please
|ford.com
|Are you Stanford?
|-
|Michigan
|ANN
|SOUTH DETROIT
|HUNT LIKE A WOLVERINE
|-
|
|christopher
|POBox 12532
|p.s. ill find my frog
|-
|Oxford
|Bond, James
|Righto
|We're better than Cambridge
|-
|
|Which one
|Forget it
|Riding the L all night long
|-
|Kit
|Kat
|Oh dear
|Something something sleep
|-
|Google
|My G+ handle?
|Any
|I'm feeling lucky
|-
|UIC
|Which one
|Forget it
|Riding the L all night long
|-
|
|MY JOB NOW
|@
|SAVE DOCUMENT AND SEND
|}

===Sixth Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|
:At [company], you'll work at a scale you won't find anywhere else
|-
|
:Explore the depths of expensive and undocumented tools!
|-
|
:At Apple, we believe in pushing the boundary of perfection.
|-
|
:At Microsoft, you just need to relax and embrace the machine 
|-
|
:Yahoo management aren't just suits. We code too!
|-
|
:At [company], you'll have the opportinity to work on cutting-edge projects.
|-
|
:At Amazon, you'll be shaving the most cutting-edge of yaks.
|-
|
:You get to bid first on any auction, and use other experimental tools!
|-
|
:At QUALCOMM, Device driver code quality is job #1
|-
|
:Make use of our powerful in-house game creation tools.
|-
|
:We're even working on some experimental biotechnology
|}

===Seventh Panel===
{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
|[[File:externality-dog1.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog2.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog3.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog4.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog5.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog6.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog7.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog8.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog9.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog10.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog11.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog12.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog13.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog14.png]]
|}

==Title Text==
The title text documents the different sources of data in the comic. The different title texts are:

{| class="wikitable table-padding"
|-
!Comic region
!Title text
|-
|Most of the comic, during the competition.||Mouse over words and things to see where they come from.
|-
|Most of the comic, after the competition ended||This comic went up on April 1st, and the panels changed throughout the day in response to readers doing things like breaking hashes, edited a rapidly-shuffling set of target Wikipedia articles, and donating to Wikimedia Foundation. (The vandalism is over now and CMU won the hashing contest.)
|-
|Most of the text in the first panel.||Happy April 1st, Everyone!
|-
|Fifth panel.||[University] has the third best hash. See the full standings at http://almamater.xkcd.com/best.csv
|-
|Last panel.||The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the wikimedia foundation via this link. Currently at [amount donated]
|}

==Transcript==
:[The comic is dynamically generated from multiple sources.]

:[First panel [[1193: Externalities#First Panel|transcript varies.]]]

:[Second panel [[1193: Externalities#Second Panel|transcript varies.]]]

:[Third panel [[1193: Externalities#Third Panel|transcript varies.]]]
:[Ponytail riding on a roomba.]

:[Fourth panel [[1193: Externalities#Fourth Panel|transcript varies.]]]
:[A group of people waiting outside a door. One of them is holding a large net.]

:Or [university] graduates, provided any of them manage to fill out the application correctly.
:Name: [random]
:Email: [Third place university]

:[Sixth panel [[1193: Externalities#Sixth Panel|transcript varies.]]]
:Cueball: What does "make dog" do?
:Off-panel: Experimental dog generator. Don't click on it; the default size isn't set, so-
:'''*click*'''

:''KZZZT''
:BIP
:Off-screen: Uh-oh.

:[Last panel's [[1193: Externalities#Seventh Panel|transcript varies.]]]

==Final Transcript==
:This is a dynamic image with several different mouse-overs. Mouse-overs for specific panels are included here.

:Ahoy, Carnegie Melonites! Come find your future at Baidu.
:[Megan with black hair stands in a blank void.]
:Megan: But nothing about Tiananmen Square.
:[Mouse-over: Happy April 1st, everyone!]
:[There is a link on this panel to almamater.xkcd.com.]

:It takes great minds to stifle other great minds.
:[Ponytail sits at a desk with two other people.]
:Ponytail: Let's block Canada
:Others: Sounds good.

:We're a convenient four hour drive from New York City (15,000 hours by Roomba.)
:[Ponytail crouches on a moving Roomba with a steaming mug of coffee in one hand and a smartphone in the other.]
:''whirrrrrrr''

:Our recruiters are on the hunt for unaware CMU graduates
:[Megan approaches three students with a giant net as they leave a classroom.]

:Or UIC graduates, provied any of them manage to fill out the application correctly.
:[A website application which reads:]
::Name: WHICH ONE
::Email: FORGET IT
::Education: RIDING THE L ALL NIGHT LONG
:[Mouse-over: uic has the third best hash. See the full standings at http: almamater.xkcd.com best.csv]

:At Baidu, Inc., you'll have the opportunity to work on cutting-edge projects.
:[Cueball sits at a computer.]
:Cueball: What does "make dog" do?
:Off-screen person: Experimental dog generator. Don't click on it; the default size isn't set, so-
:'''*click*'''

:[Cueball stares at the screen.]
: ''KZZZT'' *bip*
:Off-screen: Uh oh.

:[A giant dog licks the desk where the computer once was, Cueball in the chair stares up at it.]
:[Mouse-over: The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via this link. Currently at $41457.11.]
:[A graphic showing two sliders and a dog. Next to the dog with arrows pointing to it are a thermometer graphic and the equation d(x)=R.] CAREERS@BAIDU, INC. PLAY GOD WITH DOGS (TM)
:There are arrows over and under "GOD" and "DOG" indicating that you switch the letters.
:The previous three panels link to the special Wikimedia fundraiser page.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:April fool's comics]]

159: Boombox

2014-02-22T19:01:39Z

Bluewin: Fixed a typo

{{comic
| number = 159
| date = September 20, 2006
| title = Boombox
| image = Boombox.png
| titletext = And she's gonna feel like a jerk when she realizes it was actually Under Pressure.
}}

==Explanation==
We see [[Cueball]] declare his love for [[Megan]] in an oft-used setting, paying homage to similar events in classic literature, notably the "balcony scene" from {{w|William Shakespeare|William Shakespeare's}} play {{w|Romeo and Juliet}}, and a similar situation in {{w|Cyrano_de_Bergerac_(play)|Cyrano de Bergerac}}. In the former, Romeo, attempting to woo Juliet, stands beneath her balcony to profess his love for her. In the latter, an inarticulate cadet, Christian, professes his love for Roxanne by arranging to use the words of a fellow soldier, Cyrano, who secretly also loves Roxanne.

The 1989 movie "{{w|Say Anything...}}" contains a modern interpretation of this declaration of love, where {{w|John Cusack}} plays {{w|Peter Gabriel|Peter Gabriel's}} "{{w|In Your Eyes (Peter Gabriel song)#Say Anything...|In Your Eyes}}" on a boombox outside the house of the girl he likes.

Cueball is holding up a boombox (a self-contained semiportable stereo system, typically with cassette tape or CD player, and complete with integrated large speakers; extreme specimens could weigh up to 12 kg) which is playing music while Cueball declares his love for Megan. She first is startled, embarrassed, then eventually disgusted by the 1990 hit single {{w|Ice Ice Baby}} ([http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rog8ou-ZepE&ob=av2e Video]) by {{w|Vanilla Ice}} playing on the boombox. Cueball then admits he is "not good at this," attempting to recreate the classic romantic scene, but utterly failing to play music suitable for such an event.

The "Under Pressure" reference in the title text refers to the fact that the music used in "Ice Ice Baby" is a sample of the bassline of "{{w|Under Pressure}}" by {{w|Queen (band)|Queen}} and {{w|David Bowie}}.

==Transcript==
:[Megan is looking out a second story window at Cueball holding a boombox over his head.]
:Cueball: MEGAN!
:Woman: Oh my god, I can't believe this is happening.
:Cueball: I LOVE YOU!
:Woman: Okay, that's great. Wait a second. Is... is that... Ice Ice Baby? What the hell?
:Cueball: I'm not very good at this.
:[Musical Notes.]

==Trivia==
*Vanilla Ice was referenced also in [[112: Baring My Heart]].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Music]]

59: Graduation

2014-02-22T15:52:38Z

Bluewin: Another typo

{{comic
| number = 59
| date = February 3, 2006
| title = Graduation
| image = graduation.jpg
| titletext = Opening dialogue by [[Scott]]
}}

==Explanation==
A young [[Miss Lenhart]] and [[Megan]] discuss their plans after the college. Miss Lenhart doesn't know what she wants to do with her life, so she is going to go to {{w|Graduate school|grad school}}. Graduate school is the next level of education after {{w|undergraduate education|undergraduate work}}, where students pursue a master's or doctoral degrees.

Megan, on the other hand, has decided to become a lighthouse operator. Which is a path that is becoming increasingly less travelled. Fewer people need lighthouses. Before GPS technology, lighthouses were invaluable markers of where the sea ended and where land began. Megan likes the idea of being the maid in the highest tower. Except where most fairy tales portray the {{w|Rapunzel|maid in the tower}} as helpless, waiting to be rescued, operating a lighthouse is far from helpless. It can be one of the most needed jobs for sea-farers to find their way back home safe.

Other comics with a similar theme about finding or taking unexplored paths, instead of fitting into the mold, includes [[137: Dreams]] and [[267: Choices: Part 4]].

Scott appears to be a friend of [[Randall Munroe]]. Comics 57 through 59 all have the title text "Opening dialogue by Scott", forming a sort of informal mini-series inspired by him.

Referenced in:

*[[17: What If]]
*[[35: Sheep]]
*[[57: Wait For Me]]
*[[58: Why Do You Love Me?]]
*[[59: Graduation]]

==Transcript==
:[Megan and Blonde are talking.]
:Blonde (or Ms. Lenhart): What do you want to do when you graduate?
:Megan: I want to become a lighthouse operator.
:Blonde: Oh?
:Megan: Yeah.
:[Cut to scene of lighthouse with text overlaid.]
:Megan: Lighthouses are built on interesting pieces of coast, so I'll have an interesting place to walk and swim, and great views of all kinds of weather. I'd feel good about myself and my work every single day.
:[Cut back to the two girls.]
:Megan: I'd get to be the girl in the tower, only I'd be the one rescuing people.
:Megan: Why. What do you want to do ?
:Blonde: I'm going to grad school. I don't really know why.
:Megan: Wanna come hang in my lighthouse over breaks?
:Blonde: ...yeah.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Miss Lenhart]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

59: Graduation

2014-02-22T15:52:17Z

Bluewin: Added more astericks

{{comic
| number = 59
| date = February 3, 2006
| title = Graduation
| image = graduation.jpg
| titletext = Opening dialogue by [[Scott]]
}}

==Explanation==
A young [[Miss Lenhart]] and [[Megan]] discuss their plans after the college. Miss Lenhart doesn't know what she wants to do with her life, so she is going to go to {{w|Graduate school|grad school}}. Graduate school is the next level of education after {{w|undergraduate education|undergraduate work}}, where students pursue a master's or doctoral degrees.

Megan, on the other hand, has decided to become a lighthouse operator. Which is a path that is becoming increasingly less travelled. Fewer people need lighthouses. Before GPS technology, lighthouses were invaluable markers of where the sea ended and where land began. Megan likes the idea of being the maid in the highest tower. Except where most fairy tales portray the {{w|Rapunzel|maid in the tower}} as helpless, waiting to be rescued, operating a lighthouse is far from helpless. It can be one of the most needed jobs for sea-farers to find their way back home safe.

Other comics with a similar theme about finding or taking unexplored paths, instead of fitting into the mold, includes [[137: Dreams]] and [[267: Choices: Part 4]].

Scott appears to be a friend of [[Randall Munroe]]. Comics 57 through 59 all have the title text "Opening dialogue by Scott", forming a sort of informal mini-series inspired by him.

Referenced in:

*[[17: What If]]
*[[35: Sheep]]
*[[57: Wait For Me]]
*[[58: Why Do You Love Me?]] (This comic)
*[[59: Graduation]]

==Transcript==
:[Megan and Blonde are talking.]
:Blonde (or Ms. Lenhart): What do you want to do when you graduate?
:Megan: I want to become a lighthouse operator.
:Blonde: Oh?
:Megan: Yeah.
:[Cut to scene of lighthouse with text overlaid.]
:Megan: Lighthouses are built on interesting pieces of coast, so I'll have an interesting place to walk and swim, and great views of all kinds of weather. I'd feel good about myself and my work every single day.
:[Cut back to the two girls.]
:Megan: I'd get to be the girl in the tower, only I'd be the one rescuing people.
:Megan: Why. What do you want to do ?
:Blonde: I'm going to grad school. I don't really know why.
:Megan: Wanna come hang in my lighthouse over breaks?
:Blonde: ...yeah.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Miss Lenhart]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

57: Wait For Me

2014-02-22T15:51:30Z

Bluewin: Typo

{{comic
| number = 57
| date = January 31, 2006
| title = Wait For Me
| image = wait_for_me.jpg
| titletext = Opening dialogue by [[Scott]]
}}

==Explanation==
[[Megan]] is returning after a ''short absence'' less than two minutes. [[Cueball]]'s reaction is as if she had been gone for years, and so he had formed a relationship with someone else while waiting. The more Cueball describes this "affair", the more ridiculous it becomes.

There are number of different interpretations of the humour utilised here:
*The stereotypically female behavior of announcing that a task will just last a minute, while in fact it takes many hours or more.
*He is just joking. Cueball's pause before admitting to the affair, as well as the claim of having a son by the affair who is Megan's age, suggest that he is joking. It seems impossible for Cueball to have a son at Megan's age.
*{{w|Time Travel}}: What took 90 seconds for Megan actually took much longer for Cueball, perhaps via travel to {{w|Narnia}}, {{w|Special Relativity}} or some other form of Time Travel.
*Mental Fantasy, Cueball has just had a day dream.
*Cueball's ignorance (also see: "[[386: Duty Calls|someone is wrong on the internet]]").

One thing that we know for sure, however, is that the title text is telling us that this dialogue is from [[Scott]].
Scott appears to be a friend of [[Randall Munroe]]. Comics 57 through 59 all have the title text "Opening dialogue by Scott", forming a sort of informal mini-series inspired by him.

Referenced in:

*[[17: What If]]
*[[35: Sheep]]
*[[57: Wait For Me]]
*[[58: Why Do You Love Me?]]
*[[59: Graduation]]

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan stand facing one another.]

:Megan: Why didn't you wait for me?
:Cueball: I thought you were gone forever!

:Megan: I said I'd be back in a minute!
:Cueball: The... the seconds went fast at first, but then they started to drag on. She was there for me.

:Megan: You had an affair in the 90 seconds I was gone?!
:Cueball: ...yes.

:Cueball: And we had a son.

:Cueball: He'd be about your age now.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Romance]]

57: Wait For Me

2014-02-22T15:50:40Z

Bluewin: Change layout to be similar to Dgbrt's layout for Comic 58, I didn't know about astericks

{{comic
| number = 57
| date = January 31, 2006
| title = Wait For Me
| image = wait_for_me.jpg
| titletext = Opening dialogue by [[Scott]]
}}

==Explanation==
[[Megan]] is returning after a ''short absence'' less than two minutes. [[Cueball]]'s reaction is as if she had been gone for years, and so he had formed a relationship with someone else while waiting. The more Cueball describes this "affair", the more ridiculous it becomes.

There are number of different interpretations of the humour utilised here:
*The stereotypically female behavior of announcing that a task will just last a minute, while in fact it takes many hours or more.
*He is just joking. Cueball's pause before admitting to the affair, as well as the claim of having a son by the affair who is Megan's age, suggest that he is joking. It seems impossible for Cueball to have a son at Megan's age.
*{{w|Time Travel}}: What took 90 seconds for Megan actually took much longer for Cueball, perhaps via travel to {{w|Narnia}}, {{w|Special Relativity}} or some other form of Time Travel.
*Mental Fantasy, Cueball has just had a day dream.
*Cueball's ignorance (also see: "[[386: Duty Calls|someone is wrong on the internet]]").

One thing that we know for sure, however, is that the title text is telling us that this dialogue is from [[Scott]].
Scott appears to be a friend of [[Randall Munroe]]. Comics 57 through 59 all have the title text "Opening dialogue by Scott", forming a sort of informal mini-series inspired by him.

Referenced in:

*[[17: What If]]
*[[35: Sheep]]
*[[57: Wait For Me]]
*[[58: Why Do You Love Me?]] (This comic)
*[[59: Graduation]]

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan stand facing one another.]

:Megan: Why didn't you wait for me?
:Cueball: I thought you were gone forever!

:Megan: I said I'd be back in a minute!
:Cueball: The... the seconds went fast at first, but then they started to drag on. She was there for me.

:Megan: You had an affair in the 90 seconds I was gone?!
:Cueball: ...yes.

:Cueball: And we had a son.

:Cueball: He'd be about your age now.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Romance]]

59: Graduation

2014-02-22T15:41:55Z

Bluewin: Added explanation of Scott from the page for Scott

{{comic
| number = 59
| date = February 3, 2006
| title = Graduation
| image = graduation.jpg
| titletext = Opening dialogue by [[Scott]]
}}

==Explanation==
A young [[Miss Lenhart]] and [[Megan]] discuss their plans after the college. Miss Lenhart doesn't know what she wants to do with her life, so she is going to go to {{w|Graduate school|grad school}}. Graduate school is the next level of education after {{w|undergraduate education|undergraduate work}}, where students pursue a master's or doctoral degrees.

Megan, on the other hand, has decided to become a lighthouse operator. Which is a path that is becoming increasingly less travelled. Fewer people need lighthouses. Before GPS technology, lighthouses were invaluable markers of where the sea ended and where land began. Megan likes the idea of being the maid in the highest tower. Except where most fairy tales portray the {{w|Rapunzel|maid in the tower}} as helpless, waiting to be rescued, operating a lighthouse is far from helpless. It can be one of the most needed jobs for sea-farers to find their way back home safe.

Other comics with a similar theme about finding or taking unexplored paths, instead of fitting into the mold, includes [[137: Dreams]] and [[267: Choices: Part 4]].

Scott appears to be a friend of [[Randall Munroe]]. Comics 57 through 59 all have the title text "Opening dialogue by Scott", forming a sort of informal mini-series inspired by him.

Referenced in:

[[17: What If]]

[[35: Sheep]]

[[57: Wait For Me]]

[[58: Why Do You Love Me?]] (This comic)

[[59: Graduation]]

==Transcript==
:[Megan and Blonde are talking.]
:Blonde (or Ms. Lenhart): What do you want to do when you graduate?
:Megan: I want to become a lighthouse operator.
:Blonde: Oh?
:Megan: Yeah.
:[Cut to scene of lighthouse with text overlaid.]
:Megan: Lighthouses are built on interesting pieces of coast, so I'll have an interesting place to walk and swim, and great views of all kinds of weather. I'd feel good about myself and my work every single day.
:[Cut back to the two girls.]
:Megan: I'd get to be the girl in the tower, only I'd be the one rescuing people.
:Megan: Why. What do you want to do ?
:Blonde: I'm going to grad school. I don't really know why.
:Megan: Wanna come hang in my lighthouse over breaks?
:Blonde: ...yeah.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Miss Lenhart]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

57: Wait For Me

2014-02-22T15:40:24Z

Bluewin: Removed second hyperlink for time travel

{{comic
| number = 57
| date = January 31, 2006
| title = Wait For Me
| image = wait_for_me.jpg
| titletext = Opening dialogue by [[Scott]]
}}

==Explanation==
[[Megan]] is returning after a ''short absence'' less than two minutes. [[Cueball]]'s reaction is as if she had been gone for years, and so he had formed a relationship with someone else while waiting. The more Cueball describes this "affair", the more ridiculous it becomes.

There are number of different interpretations of the humour utilised here:
*The stereotypically female behavior of announcing that a task will just last a minute, while in fact it takes many hours or more.
*He is just joking. Cueball's pause before admitting to the affair, as well as the claim of having a son by the affair who is Megan's age, suggest that he is joking. It seems impossible for Cueball to have a son at Megan's age.
*{{w|Time Travel}}: What took 90 seconds for Megan actually took much longer for Cueball, perhaps via travel to {{w|Narnia}}, {{w|Special Relativity}} or some other form of Time Travel.
*Mental Fantasy, Cueball has just had a day dream.
*Cueball's ignorance (also see: "[[386: Duty Calls|someone is wrong on the internet]]").

One thing that we know for sure, however, is that the title text is telling us that this dialogue is from [[Scott]].
Scott appears to be a friend of [[Randall Munroe]]. Comics 57 through 59 all have the title text "Opening dialogue by Scott", forming a sort of informal mini-series inspired by him.

Referenced in:

[[17: What If]]

[[35: Sheep]]

[[57: Wait For Me]]

[[58: Why Do You Love Me?]] (This comic)

[[59: Graduation]]

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan stand facing one another.]

:Megan: Why didn't you wait for me?
:Cueball: I thought you were gone forever!

:Megan: I said I'd be back in a minute!
:Cueball: The... the seconds went fast at first, but then they started to drag on. She was there for me.

:Megan: You had an affair in the 90 seconds I was gone?!
:Cueball: ...yes.

:Cueball: And we had a son.

:Cueball: He'd be about your age now.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Romance]]

57: Wait For Me

2014-02-22T15:34:41Z

Bluewin: Added explanation of Scott from the page for Scott

{{comic
| number = 57
| date = January 31, 2006
| title = Wait For Me
| image = wait_for_me.jpg
| titletext = Opening dialogue by [[Scott]]
}}

==Explanation==
[[Megan]] is returning after a ''short absence'' less than two minutes. [[Cueball]]'s reaction is as if she had been gone for years, and so he had formed a relationship with someone else while waiting. The more Cueball describes this "affair", the more ridiculous it becomes.

There are number of different interpretations of the humour utilised here:
*The stereotypically female behavior of announcing that a task will just last a minute, while in fact it takes many hours or more.
*He is just joking. Cueball's pause before admitting to the affair, as well as the claim of having a son by the affair who is Megan's age, suggest that he is joking. It seems impossible for Cueball to have a son at Megan's age.
*{{w|Time Travel}}: What took 90 seconds for Megan actually took much longer for Cueball, perhaps via travel to {{w|Narnia}}, {{w|Special Relativity}} or some other form of {{w|Time Travel}}.
*Mental Fantasy, Cueball has just had a day dream.
*Cueball's ignorance (also see: "[[386: Duty Calls|someone is wrong on the internet]]").

One thing that we know for sure, however, is that the title text is telling us that this dialogue is from [[Scott]].
[[Scott]] appears to be a friend of [[Randall Munroe]]. Comics 57 through 59 all have the title text "Opening dialogue by Scott", forming a sort of informal mini-series inspired by him.

Referenced in:

[[17: What If]]

[[35: Sheep]]

[[57: Wait For Me]]

[[58: Why Do You Love Me?]] (This comic)

[[59: Graduation]]

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan stand facing one another.]

:Megan: Why didn't you wait for me?
:Cueball: I thought you were gone forever!

:Megan: I said I'd be back in a minute!
:Cueball: The... the seconds went fast at first, but then they started to drag on. She was there for me.

:Megan: You had an affair in the 90 seconds I was gone?!
:Cueball: ...yes.

:Cueball: And we had a son.

:Cueball: He'd be about your age now.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Romance]]

58: Why Do You Love Me?

2014-02-22T15:29:51Z

Bluewin: Fixed more formatting from last edit. I should start using the preview button

{{comic
| number = 58
| date = February 1, 2006
| title = Why Do You Love Me?
| image = why_do_you_love_me.jpg
| titletext = Opening dialogue by [[Scott]]
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] asks "Why do you love me?" to [[Megan]], a fairly common question that couples ask each other. She responds "My heart never gave me a choice", a seemingly very sentimental, romantic answer. However, after a {{w|Beat_(filmmaking)|beat panel}} she effectively kills the romance of the moment by adding, "I wish it had", indicating that she would rather not have loved Cueball.

[[Scott]] appears to be a friend of [[Randall Munroe]]. Comics 57 through 59 all have the title text "Opening dialogue by Scott", forming a sort of informal mini-series inspired by him.

Referenced in:

[[17: What If]]

[[35: Sheep]]

[[57: Wait For Me]]

[[58: Why Do You Love Me?]]

[[59: Graduation]]

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are having a conversation.]
:Cueball: Why do you love me?
:Megan: I don't know; my heart never gave me a chance.

:Cueball: Aww.

:[No dialogue.]

:Megan: I wish it had.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Romance]]

58: Why Do You Love Me?

2014-02-22T15:28:00Z

Bluewin: Fixed formatting from last edit

{{comic
| number = 58
| date = February 1, 2006
| title = Why Do You Love Me?
| image = why_do_you_love_me.jpg
| titletext = Opening dialogue by [[Scott]]
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] asks "Why do you love me?" to [[Megan]], a fairly common question that couples ask each other. She responds "My heart never gave me a choice", a seemingly very sentimental, romantic answer. However, after a {{w|Beat_(filmmaking)|beat panel}} she effectively kills the romance of the moment by adding, "I wish it had", indicating that she would rather not have loved Cueball.

[[Scott]] appears to be a friend of [[Randall Munroe]]. Comics 57 through 59 all have the title text "Opening dialogue by Scott", forming a sort of informal mini-series inspired by him.

Referenced in:

[[17: What If]]

[[35: Sheep]]

[[57: Wait For Me]]

[[58: Why Do You Love Me?]] (This comic)

[[59: Graduation]]

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are having a conversation.]
:Cueball: Why do you love me?
:Megan: I don't know; my heart never gave me a chance.

:Cueball: Aww.

:[No dialogue.]

:Megan: I wish it had.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Romance]]

58: Why Do You Love Me?

2014-02-22T15:26:36Z

Bluewin: Added explanation of Scott from the page for scott

{{comic
| number = 58
| date = February 1, 2006
| title = Why Do You Love Me?
| image = why_do_you_love_me.jpg
| titletext = Opening dialogue by [[Scott]]
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] asks "Why do you love me?" to [[Megan]], a fairly common question that couples ask each other. She responds "My heart never gave me a choice", a seemingly very sentimental, romantic answer. However, after a {{w|Beat_(filmmaking)|beat panel}} she effectively kills the romance of the moment by adding, "I wish it had", indicating that she would rather not have loved Cueball.

[[Scott]] appears to be a friend of [[Randall Munroe]]. Comics 57 through 59 all have the title text "Opening dialogue by Scott", forming a sort of informal mini-series inspired by him.

Referenced in:

[[17: What If]]
[[35: Sheep]]
[[57: Wait For Me]]
[[58: Why Do You Love Me?]]
[[59: Graduation]]

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are having a conversation.]
:Cueball: Why do you love me?
:Megan: I don't know; my heart never gave me a chance.

:Cueball: Aww.

:[No dialogue.]

:Megan: I wish it had.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Romance]]

User:Bluewin

2014-02-18T18:12:50Z

Bluewin: Edit to my user page

A user who enjoyces xkcd

1037: Umwelt

2014-02-18T18:07:42Z

Bluewin: Added an incomplete explanation to panel Israel

{{comic
| number = 1037
| date = April 1, 2012
| title = Umwelt
| before = [[#Explanation|↓ Skip to explanation ↓]]
| image = umwelt.png
| titletext = Umwelt is the idea that because their senses pick up on different things, different animals in the same ecosystem actually live in very different worlds. Everything about you shapes the world you inhabit--from your ideology to your glasses prescription to your web browser.
}}
==Explanation==
{{Incomplete|Many of the strips are not explained}}
An {{w|umwelt|Umwelt}}, as the title text explains, is the idea that ones entire way of thinking is dependent on their surroundings. Thus, this {{w|April Fools}} comic changes based on the browser, location, or referrer. Thus, what the viewer is viewing the comic on, where they live, or where they came from determines which comic they actually see. As a result, there are actually multiple comics that went up on April Fools' Day (although only one is seen).

===The Void===
If the device or browser you are using does not support Javascript, you will simply see a static image of a white swirl on a dark background.

===Aurora===
The joke here is either that Canadians, where the comic was shown, would regard the {{w|Aurora (astronomy)|Aurora Borealis}} as normal and thus, would not've seen the sight as particularly amazing, or that XKCD characters see in black and white and would not notice the colors.
Alternately, one could interpret that since Megan didn't go out and therefore missed seeing the Aurora, the main character lied. That way, she wouldn't have felt sad that she missed out.

===Snake===
The joke here is the extreme length of snakes. The world's longest snake is the python, the longest ever being 33 feet or approx. 10 meters. The red and blue circles refer to the hit game {{w|Portal}}.
There is also a reference to the book "The Little Prince" in the second panel.

Also, the number and content of the panels changes depending on the size of your browser window.

===Black Hat===
An analyst attempts to psychoanalyze [[Black Hat|Black Hat's]] [[72: Classhole|classhole]] tendencies. The joke here is that the turtle has actually been turned over and neither sees helping it as a priority.
It's a reference to the Voight-Kampff test used in the movie Blade Runner (1982) to identify replicants.

===Too Quiet===
A reference to {{w|Jurassic Park (film)|Jurassic Park}} which has been [[87: Velociraptors|constantly]] [[135: Substitute|referred]] [[1110: Click and Drag|to]] [[155: Search History|before]] [[758: Raptor Fences|in]] this comic.

Also referencing the film {{w|2 Fast 2 Furious|2 Fast 2 Furious}}, an entertaining, yet intellectually unprovoking sequel in a popular film franchise, which is aimed at teenagers and young adults, prompting the blunt response from the stickman. The fact that Steve would use such a cliché {{w|2000s (decade)|noughties}} movie term in such an intense moment, and the subsequent curse, is the joke in this comic.

===Pond===

===Galaxies===
This is a joke on [[Megan|Megan's]] normally existentialist attitude. Whereas normally, she might be freaked out by the vastness of space, in this case, she can actually see the galaxies in question, and is furthermore weirded out by the fact that they seem to have a grudge against [[Cueball]].

===xkcd Gold===
This is probably a reference to the 4chan Gold Account, an implementation on 4chan that does not actually exist, and is usually used to trick newcomers into revealing their credit card numbers. The joke is that "Gold Account" users can supposedly block other users from viewing images they have posted. The fifth panel is probably a reference to Beecock, a notorious set of shocker images. 4chan's moderators have been known to give out "beecock bans" to particularly annoying users, which redirect the user to a page containing beecock and the text "OH NO THE BOARD IS GONE".

===Yo Mama===

===Reddit===

===Buns and Hot dogs===
This is a reference to the question "Why do hot dogs come in packages of 6 while buns come in packages of 8?"

===Twitter===

===Wikipedia===
The term {{w|Mile High Club}} (or MHC) is a slang term applied collectively to individuals who have sexual intercourse while on board an aircraft. Randall says that reading the news articles on it has distracted him from making that comic

===Google Chrome===
{{w|Sergey Brin}} (born August 21, 1973) is an American computer scientist and Internet entrepreneur who, with Larry Page, co-founded Google, one of the most profitable Internet companies. As of 2013, his personal wealth was estimated to be $24.4 billion. Randall makes the joke that as the founder of Google, Brin's permission would be needed to use Google Chrome. Because there are millions of people who use Google, it is likely that at least some of the time Brin would be asleep, thus he would need to be woken.

===Chrome/Firefox===
Mozilla {{w|Firefox}} is a free and open-source web browser developed for Windows, OS X, and Linux, with a mobile version for Android, by the Mozilla Foundation and its subsidiary, the Mozilla Corporation. Cueball is complaining about {{w|Google Chrome}}, to which [[Ponytail]] replies that there is an {{w|add-on}} the fixes what he is complaining about. When questioned, she replies that the add-on is Firefox, which isn't an add-on at all and is instead a different browser

===Google Chrome-2===
This panel references Google Chrome's error screen, which shows a puzzle piece. The comic humorously implies that Chrome is looking for that piece

===Mozilla Firefox Private Browsing===
Another reference to crashing web browsers

===Internet Explorer===
Yet another reference to crashing web browsers

===Maxthon===

===Netscape Navigator===

===Rockmelt===

===Google Chrome-3===

===Microsoft/Amazon/The Times/Google - Chrome===

===Military===

===France===

===Germany===
This comic references the {{w|Berlin airlift#The start of the Berlin Airlift|Berlin Airlift}}, a relief measure for citizens in West Berlin (surrounded by East Germany) instituted by the Western Allies after World War II. In reality, the Western Allies flew a grand total of 500,000 tons of food over the Soviet blockade in planes. Randall puts a twist on this event by making it more fun: dropping supplies from a grand chairlift. The play on words is that "chairlift" rhymes with "airlift" and thus makes an easy substitution. The chair force is also a name that other service branches use to make fun of the air force.

===Israel===
(Translation from Hebrew)

Person: Mom, I met a great guy! But he's not Jewish. ... Wait, what do you mean "neither are we"? I'm completely confused.

===Carnot Cycle===

==Transcript==
[Two people...]
{Note to courageous readers- The transcript has been reordered in the order in which the comics appear in the picture and appropriate names have been given}

===The Void===
[An epic void with a bright light shining right on you.]

===Aurora===
[Person heading out past another person comfortably sitting in front of a desk.]

Person 1: Apparently there's a solar flare that's causing some Great Aurorae. CBC says they may even be visible here! Wanna drive out to see?

Person 2: Hockey's on.

Person 1: Ok. Later.

[An expansive, marvelous image of emerald green northern lights, floating down through the sky.]

Person 2: See anything?

Person 1: No, just clouds.

Person 2: Not surprised.

===Snake===
[Two people standing next to each other. One is holding the head end of a snake. Depending on the width of your browser, the snake is: three frames, the third of which has a little bit of a bump; the first frame has a human-size bump, the second has a third person looking at the snake, and the third has the snake going though two Portals; a squirrel and the human-size bump in the first frame, a ring next to the third person in the second frame, and Beret Guy riding the snake in front of the portal; or The squirrel, a fourth person within the snake being coiled, and the human bump in the first frame, the ring, a fifth person in love, and the third person in the second frame, Beret Guy and the portal in the third frame, and the same two people in the fourth frame.]

Person holding snake head: I found a snake, but then I forgot to stop.

===Black hat===
[Two people sitting at a desk. One is Black Hat Guy. The other is an analyst. Black Hat Guy has a number of terminals attached to his head.]

Analyst: You come across a tortoise in the desert. You flip it over. It struggles to right itself. You watch. You're not helping. Why is that?

Black Hat Guy: It *knows* what it did.

[View of the entire scene, with said turtle off in the distance on its back and trying to right itself.]

===Too quiet===
[A group of four scale down a wall into a field in the middle of the night. They walk off single-file.]

Person 1: It's quiet.

Person 3: Yeah - *Too* quiet.

[A Velociraptor is off in the distance, following the group.]

Person 4: Yeah - too *too* quiet.

Person 2: Yeah - 2quiet2furious.

Person 1: Fuck off, Steve.

===Pond===
[A landscape showing a pond, some reeds, and a set of mountains off in the distance.]

===Galaxies===
[A trio of galaxies.]

Galaxy 1: He's not looking!

Galaxy 3: Let's get him!

[Lines draw in illustrating the eye-line of one of a pair of people.]

Person 1: So he said he didn't get the text, but c'mon, he *never* misses texts. Right? ..hello?

Person 2: I'm just staring at your head freaked out by the fact that there are millions of galaxies *directly behind it*.

===xkcd Gold/Beehive part 1===

[Person holding bat.]

Person: Sorry, but this comic

[Person starts to wind up.]

requires

[Person prepares to strike with bat.]

XKCD

[Person swings at a beehive.]

GOLD

===Beehive part 2===
[Penis Bees fly out of the beehive.]

===Yo mamma===
[Person yells at another person.]

Person 1;Oh yeah? Well you mama's so *cynical*, her only dog ballast is a *leash*!

(This comic takes place in a dystopian future where the government is afraid dogs can hover, so it requires them to wear weights at all times, and some people privately doubt the government, but not enough to stop buying dog weights)

===Reddit===
Five seconds ago:

[You sitting in front of a desk, reading a reddit thread]

You: Oh, hey, reddit has a link to some XKCD april fools comic.

Now: [An image of this very page]

Five seconds from now:

You: ..hey

30 seconds from now:

[DANCE PARTY!]

===Buns and Hot dogs===

Person: What I wanna know is why do hot dogs come in packages of six while buns come in these huge sacks of ash and blood from which "Ave Maria" is faintly audible?

[Chanting sacks of gore in the background.]

===Twitter===
[A Twitter account page with the following: Many tweets, fewer following, even fewer followers, A bunch of assholes in the suggested follow box, trending topics partitioned into: Word Games, Misogyny, and Bieber, stuff your eyes automatically ignore, A really pleasant blue. and the timeline: Something about a podcast, Someone confused because the description doesn't match the link, The link you clicked on to get to this comic, Rob Delaney, Passive Aggression, and horse_ebooks.]

===Wikipedia===
[There's no comic here because instead of drawing one, I spent the last hour reading every news story cited in the Wikipedia article on "The Mile High Club"]

===Google Chrome===
[A Chrome plugin error page]

Chrome: This plugin requires Sergey Brin's permission to run. Please wait while he is woken.

===Chrome/Firefox===
[Two people; one is sitting at a desk in front of a laptop.]

Person 1: Man, chrome's hardware acceleration really sucks.

Person 2: Oh - Theres' a great add-on that fixes it.

Person 1: Oh? What's it called?

Person 2: "Firefox".

===Google Chrome-2===
[A Chrome plugin error page with the characteristic jigsaw piece.]

Chrome: Chrome is looking for this piece. Have you seen it? Chrome thinks it links up with a corner.

===Mozilla Firefox Private Browsing===
[Firefox error page.]

Firefox: Well, this is embarrassing. You know how I'm not supposed to peek at your browsing in private mode? Firefox.. is sorry. Firefox will not blame you if you

[button with text]

click here to report this incident.

===Internet Explorer===
[IE error page]

IE: Error: Internet Explorer has given up.

===Maxthon===
Person: Maxthon? Hey, 2005 called. Didn't say anything. All I could hear was sobbing. This is getting harder. Anyway, yeah, Maxthon's still cool! Didn't know it was still around!

===Netscape Navigator===
[Person with tentacle arms.]

Person: Netscape Navigator? Hey, the nineties called - drunk as usual. I hung up without saying anything. This is getting harder. Anyway - it's cool that you'e got netscape running.

===Rockmelt===
[Person running to laptop.]

I ran to Rockmelt to hide my face

[Person sitting at laptop.]

But Rockmelt cried out -

[Laptop shouting]

NO HIDING PLACE

[zoom out]

NO HIDING PLACE DOWN HERE

===Google Chrome-3===
[A chrome plugin error page.]

Chrome: There does not exist --nor could there *ever* exist-- a plugin capable of displaying this content.

===Microsoft/Amazon/The Times/Google - Chrome===
[Chrome error page.]

Chrome: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run. Remember, Microsoft/Amazon/The Times/Google is a team; individual employees should *never* speak for the company without authorization.

===Military===
[Person looking at two browser windows.]

I know y'all know what you're doing. But if you're on a military machine and you're supposed to be watching for missiles or something, I hope you're keeping an eye on that in the background while you're reading comics. Also: Thanks.

===T-Mobile===
[Error page]

Data Error: T-Mobile was unable to establish a connection

===Verizon===
[Error page]

Error; You have exceeded your Verizon monthly bandwidth cap. Mobile web browsing has been disabled.

===France===
[Two people; one of which is browsing using a laptop.]

Person 1: Hey, you're French, right? Ever see what happens when you type "French Military Victories" into Google?

French person: Does it take you to an article on Napoleon?

French person: ..no? Strange, given how he kicked everyone's asses up and down europe for over a decade.

[beat]

Person 1: Touche.

French person: You know, that'd sound smarter if you didn't pronounce it like it rhymes with "douche".

===Germany===
[A person dropping food from an unorthodox high perch.]

June 1948: In response to the Soviet blockade of East Germany, the western allies construct the Berlin Chairlift.

Person on chairlift: Food!

===Israel===
[Person on phone]

(Translation from Hebrew)

Person: Mom, I met a great guy! But he's not Jewish. ... Wait, what do you mean "neither are we"? I'm completely confused.

===Carnot Cycle===
[Person on a motorcycle with a heat-entropy graph on the side.]

Person 1: Check out my new Carnot Cycle!

Person 2: Neat -- how fast does it go?

Person 1: Depends how cold it is outside.

===Great Britain===
[Illustration of the atlantic ocean.]

American person: Sorry I don't have a comic poking fun at the UK here. I only had time to get to the most *important* US states.

British person: Hey -- At least we have free health care and real ale.

===Earthquake-Blizzard===
[Two people sitting at a desk, facing each other. The desk rattles.]

Person 1: Stop jiggling your leg.

Person 2: I'm not ji-.. oh!

Person 1: What!

Person 2: You'll get it..

[EVERYTHING RUMBLES]

Person 1: ..HOLY CRAP IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!

Person 2: Just a little one. Happens all the time back in San Francisco.

Person 1: But this is {Options: "Alabama", "Boston", "Chicago", "Dallas", "Georgia", "Halifax", "Illinois", "Michigan", "Minnesota", "Missouri", "the Northeast", "Ohio", "Oklahoma", "Ottawa", 'Pennsylvania", "Philadelphia", "Texas", "Toronto", "Tennessee", "New York", "Wisconsin"}! That was huge!

Person 2: Seriously? That's the worst this place can do? Wow. I guess we grow up tougher in California.

Person 1: Oh *really*... Six Months Later..

[Both people are trudging through a massive blizzard.]

Person 2: In pictures, snow always looked so nice and sof -- AAAA! MY NECK! How do people live here?!

Person 1: Come on - it's only three more miles.

===Earthquake-Tornado===
[Two people sitting at a desk, facing each other. The desk rattles.]

Person 1: Stop jiggling your leg.

Person 2: I'm not ji-.. oh!

Person 1: What! Person 2: You'll get it..

[EVERYTHING RUMBLES]

Person 1: ..HOLY CRAP IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!

Person 2: Just a little one. Happens all the time back in San Francisco.

Person 1: But this is {Options: "Alabama", "Dallas", "Illinois", "The Midwest", "Missouri", "Ohio", "Oklahoma", "Ottawa", "Tennessee", "Texas"}!

That was huge!

Person 2: Seriously? That's the worst this place can do? Wow. I guess we grow up tougher in California.

Person 1: Oh *really*...

Six Months Later..

[Both people are in a shelter in a prairie with a rapidly-approaching tornado.]

Person 2: AAAA CLOSE THE SHELTER DOOR!

Person 1: Say the magic words...

Person 2: THIS PLACE IS THE WORST!

Person 1: Thank you.

===Lake Diver Killer===
[TV Field Reporter in front of a cordoned-off lake.]

Police divers searching the bay say they have recovered thebody of another victim of the "Lake Diver Killer" During the search, three more divers were reported missing.

===Washington===
[The statue of Abraham Lincoln in the Lincoln Memorial.]

In this Marble Prison As in the nightmares of the nation they tried to devour The nanobots that constituted Abraham Lincoln Are entombed forever.

===Alaska===
[A snowy Alaskan field.]

Person: Some people hunt wolves from helicopters. I hunt helicopters from a wolf.

===Life in lab===
[Newspaper headline.]

Scientists/UMass Amherst students/RIT students create life in lab

[caption under picture of scientists.]

"The trick was fuckin'"

===American Revolution===
Robot Paul Revere: Remember: Zero if by land, One if by sea.

===MIT===
[Two people in front of a group of students.]

Person 1: I've hired a team of MIT students to count cards for us.

Person 2: We'll be rich!

[Person 2 deals some cards while the students watch.]

[The gears turn..]

Student: Five. There are five cards.

Person 1: I see their admission standards have been slipping.

Person 2: Yeah - there are actually four.

===MIT Course 15c===
[Two people in front of a group of students.]

Person 1: I've hired a team of MIT students to count cards for us.

Person 2: We'll be rich!

[Person 2 deals some cards while the students watch.]

[The gears turn..]

Student: Five. There are five cards.

Person 1: I *knew* we shouldn't have picked course 15s.

Person 2: Yeah - there are actually four.

===Smith/Wellesley===
[Two people in front of a group of students.]

Person 1: I've hired a team of Smith/Wellesley students to count cards for us.

Person 2: We'll be rich!

[Person 2 deals some cards while the students watch.]

[The gears turn..]

Student: Five. There are five cards.

Person 1: We should've gone with Wellesley/Smith.

Person 2: Yeah - there are actually four.

===CNU===
[Person unsuspectingly strolls under a giant box trap controlled by a Trible.]

I worry that CNU only invited me back as a ruse because they realized I never turned in my final paper and want my diploma back. But if it turns out it's for real, I'll see you Wednesday at the Ferguson!

===Dana Farber===
[Cueball, pointing towards head.]

Cueball: Check it out - In support of people going through chemo, i shaved my head.

Lots of love to everyone reading this at Dana Farber. Cancer sucks. If you are new to DCFI, there's a great little garden on the third floor of the yawkey if you need somewhere quiet to just sit for a little bit and breathe.

===Earthquake-Hurricane===
[Two people sitting at a desk, facing each other. The desk rattles.]

Person 1: Stop jiggling your leg.

Person 2: I'm not ji-.. oh!

Person 1: What! Person 2: You'll get it..

[EVERYTHING RUMBLES]

Person 1: ..HOLY CRAP IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!

Person 2: Just a little one. Happens all the time back in San Francisco.

Person 1: But this is {Options: "D.C", "Florida", "Houston", "Miami", "New Jersey", "North Carolina", "South Carolina", "Virgina"}! That was huge!

Person 2: Seriously? That's the worst this place can do? Wow. I guess we grow up tougher in California.

Person 1: Oh *really*...

Six Months Later..

[Both are in the middle of a hurricane. Person 2 is grabbing onto a signpost to avoid being swept away.]

Person 2: AAAAA WHAT THE SHIIIIT!

Person 1: Calm down - this is barely a category 2.

===Corporate===
[Error page]

Error: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run. Remember, we work as a team; individual employees should *never* speak for the company without authorization.

===Microsoft/Amazon - Firefox===
[Firefox error page]

Chrome: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run. Remember, Microsoft/Amazon is a team; individual employees should *never* speak for the company without authorization.

===Microsoft/The Times===
[Error page]

Error: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run. Remember, Microsoft/The Times is a team; individual employees should *never* speak for the company without authorization.

===Aurora-US===
[Person heading out past another person comfortably sitting in front of a desk.]

Person 1: Apparently there's a solar storm causing northern lights over Canada. CNN say they might even be visible {Options: "As Far South As Us", "Here in Boston", "Maine", "Ohio", "Oregon", "New York"}! Wanna drive out to see?
Person 2: It's cold out.
Person 1: Ok. Later.

[An expansive, marvelous image of emerald green northern lights, floating down through the sky.]

Person 2: See anything?

Person 1: No, just clouds.

Person 2: Not surprised.

==Trivia==
*Reddit user [http://www.reddit.com/user/SomePostMan SomePostMan] created a [http://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/t6wmh/all_umwelt_1037_comics_in_two_imgur_albums/ post] that collected all of the Umwelt comics and added explanations.

{{comic discussion}}
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