explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

3265: Asteroid Threat

2026-06-30T14:06:41Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ "airless vacuum" is redundant

{{comic
| number = 3265
| date = June 29, 2026
| title = Asteroid Threat
| image = asteroid_threat_2x.png
| imagesize = 345x424px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Paleontologists have long worried that the dinosaurs blasted into space 66 million years ago will one day complete their orbits and fall back down.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a reentering dinosaur. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

It's generally agreed by scientists that most {{w|dinosaurs}} went extinct primarily as a result, either directly or indirectly, of the {{w|Chicxulub asteroid}} impacting the Earth near the {{w|Yucatán Peninsula}} 66 million years ago. This comic posits that another asteroid is soon going to hit the Earth again. Because the impact location will be on the exact opposite side of the planet (the antipode), the comic takes the absurd notion that it will act the 'opposite' way, reversing all the original effects and bringing dinosaurs back from extinction.

The general consensus is that most dinosaurs that weren't in the immediate vicinity of the impact itself went extinct as a result of the environmental effect it had. Other factors have been proposed to explain {{w|Cretaceous–Paleogene_extinction_event|the extinction}}, and the relative contributory effect of these has been a matter of some debate. The title text suggests that the initial Chicxulub event actually resulted in the dinosaurs' disappearance because it involved the dinosaurs launching, or being launched, alive into space. Either the shock of the asteroid strike somehow threw them loose from the planet, or the geology has been misinterpreted and is actually the result of the dinosaurs intentionally engineering a massive rocket blast. They have since been on a long path, most likely circling the Sun, that will some day intersect with the Earth again, and they will land still alive and take control again.

This is ridiculous, for a number of reasons. Firstly, they would they have to somehow survive, and potentially arrange, the initial event. There is no evidence that the dinosaurs developed rocketry techniques, while an impact strong enough to have knocked them into space would have subjected them to violent forces that they were not adapted to withstand. Secondly, they would need to sustain a breeding population in the vacuum of space through to the present day. Again, dinosaurs do not seem to have had the technology for space travel, and such a long journey would require extra complications in that they would need to also breed and grow food for the duration, requiring them to maintain an entire ecosystem. Lastly they would need to survive their presumably meteoric re-entry through the Earth's atmosphere and the impact with its surface - a thoroughly impossible feat.

Because Earth rocks have been found on the Moon, there has been [https://www.themeateater.com/conservation/anthropology/fact-checker-are-there-dinosaur-fossils-on-the-moon some] [https://www.kent.ac.uk/news/science/1710/fossils-on-the-moon speculation] that fossils from the era of dinosaurs or earlier may have landed on the moon, but these are much more likely to be tiny organisms such as diatoms, rather than identifiable fragments of dinosaur remains. No such fragments have been collected.

This could also be seen as a joke referencing the second law of thermodynamics, that entropy can only rise (i.e. you cannot undo destruction by doing the original action in reverse).

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[Two images of Earth are shown. At the top left is a small one, centered on southern {{w|West Africa}}, showing the Atlantic Ocean and the east coast of South America, with a dotted line through the Earth entering at the Yucatán Peninsula and exiting at the east-central Indian Ocean. Taking up most of the rest of the panel is a large Earth image centered on the Indian Ocean and containing a target symbol, comprising a circle and four spokes, aimed at a location in the east-central Indian Ocean.]

:[Caption below image:]
:Dire news: An asteroid is on course to hit the earth exactly ''opposite'' the Yucatán Peninsula, bringing ''back'' the dinosaurs.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Dinosaurs]]
[[Category:Space]]

3261: Side Effect

2026-06-26T23:46:31Z

BunsenH: redundant with preceding paragraph

{{comic
| number = 3261
| date = June 19, 2026
| title = Side Effect
| image = side_effect_2x.png
| imagesize = 658x247px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Brace yourself--the chirp gets pretty weird.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic takes the concept of medication side-effects ''ad absurdum''. The side effect of sensitivity to sun exposure described by [[Beret Guy]] is [https://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/sun-sensitizing-drugs entirely precedented]; however, heightened sensitivity to {{w|gravitational waves}} is not a known effect.{{Citation needed}} Due to the entirely normal first side effect, [[Ponytail]] initially misses the gravitational wave side effect. She is about to find out what that is about.

Gravitational waves are waves of distortion in spacetime, caused by the relative movement of objects, which travel at the speed of light. When the objects involved are of great mass, such as neutron stars and/or black holes orbiting each other, the waves can be detected by extremely precise instruments (e.g. {{w|interferometers}}) which detect the ever-so-slight stretching and squishing caused to everything in their path. As a side-effect of his medication, Beret Guy exhibits the stretching and squishing of a gravitational wave much more strongly than normal, to the degree that it's visible to the naked eye. Beret Guy's hat also stretches and shrinks, indicating it could be a part of his body, which contradicts the idea from [[291: Dignified|an earlier comic]] that it is stapled to his head. Alternatively, it may be part of the [[:Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy|strange power]] the medicine makes him exhibit.

This is probably the most extreme example to date of Beret Guy's peculiar sensitivity to minuscule external forces. By way of comparison, the most sensitive current ground-based laser interferometer, {{w|LIGO}}, has detection arms which are 4 km in length, and with strong gravitational waves, it experiences changes in the distance between the ends of the arms by at most roughly 10−18 meters, or 1 attometer; for comparison, a proton's diameter is roughly 1700 attometers. The relative change is thus about 2.5 × 10-22. If Beret Guy is experiencing distortions of about a quarter of his height, the relative change is 0.25, larger than LIGO's by a factor of about 1021. However, rather than showing concern for his body rapidly changing shape, he instead enjoys the feeling, saying 'Wheee!' in the last panel. This could just be because his whole body 'rides' his own personal changes in space-time geometry — everything down to his molecular bonds extends and contracts in proportional synchronisation to all parallel bonds. Aside from watching out for non-fluctuating surroundings (like a ceiling suddenly being effectively too low for comfort), the effect applies consistently (unlike in {{w|spaghettification}}, across the gravitational potential from a nearby massive object) his body and all his personally-attuned clothing experiences no great mechanical stress.

Beret Guy's reaction to the gravitational wave seem similar to a surfer (like how he tectonic surfs in [[2987: Tectonic Surfing]], possibly implying that he's a surfer): he says "Here comes one now!", and after it passes him, "''Wheee!''". Since gravitational waves propagate at the speed of light, normal people can't receive any information from them before they actually arrive, so they can't know that one is coming. Beret Guy can, or he may simply be aware of the effect beginning to ramp up, and calls it out before the waves become significant.

The "{{w|chirp mass|chirp}}" described in the title text refers to gravitational waves during the end-stages of the collision of two black holes and/or neutron stars, during which expansion and contraction of the waves sweeps up in frequency to the point where they alternate extremely rapidly. This type of wave is called a 'chirp' in signal analysis. When the gravitational wave is [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWqhUANNFXw represented as sound], it does indeed make a chirping sound. The chirp would also cause Beret Guy's body to change form repeatedly and rapidly. In the final stages of the merger, the colliding stars emit waves whose period is on the order of a couple of milliseconds, so if Beret Guy's sensitivity to the waves remained constant, a human observer would see only a blur. However, in normal Beret Guy fashion, he somewhat smooths over that strange and concerning affect, describing it only as 'pretty weird' in his warning to Ponytail.

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy is standing to the right of Ponytail.]
:Beret Guy: This new topical medication makes me extra sensitive to sun exposure and gravitational waves.

:[Beret Guy's arms are out.]
:Ponytail: Oh yeah, that's a common ...wait, what was that last part?
:Beret Guy: Here comes one now!

:[Ponytail stands facing Beret Guy, who is stretched out in height.]

:[Ponytail stands facing Beret Guy, who is now shorter and wider than he was originally.]

:[Ponytail stands facing Beret Guy, who is now stretched out in height again as he was in the third panel.]
:Beret Guy: ''WHEEE!''

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Medicine]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]

3263: Baryon Asymmetry

2026-06-26T14:07:24Z

BunsenH: omnipotence does not imply omniscience

{{comic
| number = 3263
| date = June 24, 2026
| title = Baryon Asymmetry
| image = baryon_asymmetry_2x.png
| imagesize = 682x270px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Wait, what do you mean, 'dark matter'? It's not dark, it interacts with high-energy gamma rays ... right? Oh jeez, did I forget to make it interact?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently, but was recently annihilated by it's anti-matter counterpart, and needs recreating. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
In this comic, [[Cueball]] talks with the creator of the universe (possibly the one previously seen in another [[3222: Star Formation|recent comic]]). Cueball wants to know why the universe has {{w|baryon asymmetry}} — that is, the {{w|observable universe}} contains much more matter than {{w|antimatter}}. Current physical theories imply that matter and antimatter should have been created in roughly equal amounts. The fact that antimatter is extremely rare is very fortunate for humans and other objects made of matter, given that matter/antimatter reactions destroy both substances with a violent release of energy.

As it turns out, though, the creator of the universe, far from being wise and all-knowing, simply forgot to add a roughly equal amount of antimatter. Realizing their mistake, they proceed to add the antimatter that they originally intended, only to create a massive explosion as large parts of the universe, possibly including Cueball, experience {{w|annihilation}}.

The carelessness of adding in the forgotten antimatter without considering the widespread impact it would have on the current state of the universe is strange. A being with the power to create the universe might be assumed to have comparable abilities to observe and understand its state, and should not be oblivious to its not having been working as intended (missing around half of its mass), nor to realizing that the forgotten feature was actually a bad idea after all. As they are conversing with Cueball, who has exhibited [[:Category:Cueball's computer problems|similar degrees of personal ineptitude]], and as this might or might not be the same entity as seen getting things 'wrong' in [[3222: Star Formation]], this might just go to show that it is a shared trait to have so much ability but so little foresight and understanding.

An alternative explanation could be that the sphere is an equivalent to [[Black Hat]], who knows all about the impact and yet 'corrects' the situation anyway, simply not caring about destroying the universe they created, or even deliberately choosing to {{tvtropes|LiteralGenie|worsen the situation}}.

The title text resolves another physics mystery in a similarly unexpected way. {{W|Dark matter}} (another substance that is thought to exist but is considerably less well understood than antimatter) mysteriously interacts via gravity but not, as far as we know, via electromagnetism. The creator seems to reveal that dark matter was ''supposed'' to interact with high-energy {{w|gamma rays}}, a form of electromagnetic radiation (which, at least as far as the creator is concerned, would not make it 'dark'), but they forgot to add that property. Exactly how this follow-up issue was posed is unknown, following the sudden annihilation of much (if not all) matter in Cueball's vicinity, and likely also his own body. However, there is a chance Cueball is safe from this, as the void shown is unknown, and the last panel could display events happening elsewhere in the universe, where the void is safe from such things.

It is uncertain if any more questions could be asked, after this other apparently-intended situation was properly implemented, but they might include something about the nature of {{w|dark energy}}, yet ''another'' mystery regarding the nature of the universe in which various after-market 'fixes' could also be particularly problematic.

The creator of the universe in this comic might be the same floating sphere featured in [[3085: About 20 Pounds]]. Talking to [[:Category:Time traveling Sphere|a floating sphere/orb]] or some [[1450: AI-Box Experiment|similarly non-corporeal entity]] is a recurring subject in xkcd.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

[Cueball is floating in a void. He is speaking with the creator of the universe, who appears as a black sun symbol.] 
Cueball: So you're the creator of the universe? 
Creator of the Universe: That's me! So, got any questions?

[Cueball puts his hand to his face as he floats upright.] 
Cueball: Oh man, so many. What's the reason for baryon asymmetry? Why is most of the universe matter and not antimatter?

[Cueball's hand is back down he resumes his previous position.] 
Creator of the Universe: Crap. Did I forget the antimatter? One sec, let me just…

[Many explosions fill the panel, including a large explosion in the centre.] 
BOOM

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

3263: Baryon Asymmetry

2026-06-26T01:49:40Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ gender neutral

{{comic
| number = 3263
| date = June 24, 2026
| title = Baryon Asymmetry
| image = baryon_asymmetry_2x.png
| imagesize = 682x270px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Wait, what do you mean, 'dark matter'? It's not dark, it interacts with high-energy gamma rays ... right? Oh jeez, did I forget to make it interact?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently, but was recently annihilated by it's anti-matter counterpart, and needs recreating. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
In this comic, [[Cueball]] talks with the creator of the universe (possibly the one previously seen in another [[3222: Star Formation|recent comic]]). Cueball wants to know why the universe has {{w|baryon asymmetry}}, which refers to the fact that the {{w|observable universe}} contains much more matter than {{w|antimatter}}. Current physical theories imply that matter and antimatter should have been created in roughly equal amounts. The fact that antimatter is extremely rare is very fortunate for humans and other objects made of matter, given that matter/antimatter reactions destroy both substances with a violent release of energy.

As it turns out, though, the creator of the universe, far from being wise and all-knowing, simply forgot to add a roughly equal amount of antimatter. Realizing their mistake, they proceed to add the antimatter that they originally forgot, only to create a massive explosion as large parts of the universe experience {{w|annihilation}}.

The creator seems to have been careless about the workings of their own created universe, only now adding in the forgotten antimatter without considering the widespread impact it would have on the current state of the universe. This is strange, given they created the universe, and they would surely not be oblivious to the fact that it either has not been working as intended (missing around half of its mass) or any realization that the forgotten feature was actually a bad idea after all. Although as they are conversing with Cueball, who has exhibited [[:Category:Cueball's computer problems|similar degrees of personal ineptitude]], and as this might or might not be the same entity as seen getting things 'wrong' in [[3222: Star Formation]], this might just go to show that it is a shared trait to have so much ability but so little foresight and understanding.

An alternative explanation could be that the sphere is an equivalent to [[Black Hat]], who knows all about the impact and yet 'corrects' the situation anyway, simply not caring about destroying the universe they created, or even deliberately choosing to {{tvtropes|LiteralGenie|worsen the situation}}.

The title text resolves another physics mystery in a similarly unexpected way. {{W|Dark matter}}, another substance that is thought to exist but is considerably less well understood than antimatter, mysteriously interacts via gravity but not, as far as we know, via electromagnetism. The creator seems to reveal that dark matter was ''supposed'' to interact with high-energy {{w|gamma rays}}, a form of electromagnetic radiation (which, at least as far as the creator is concerned, would not make it 'dark'), but they forgot to add that property to the substance that we had consequently called "dark matter". Exactly how this follow-up issue was posed is unknown, following the sudden annihilation of much (if not all) matter in Cueball's vicinity, and likely also his own body. However, there is a chance [[Cueball]] is safe from this, as the void shown is unknown, and the last panel could display events happening elsewhere in the universe, where the void is safe from such things.

It is uncertain if any more questions could be asked, after this other apparently-intended situation was properly implemented, but they might include something about the nature of {{w|dark energy}}, yet ''another'' mystery regarding the nature of the universe in which various after-market 'fixes' could also be particularly problematic.

The creator of the universe in this comic might be the same floating sphere featured in [[3085: About 20 Pounds]]. Talking to [[:Category:Time traveling Sphere|a floating sphere/orb]] or some [[1450: AI-Box Experiment|similarly non-corporeal entity]] is a recurring subject in xkcd.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

[Cueball is floating in a void. He is speaking with the creator of the universe, who appears as a black sun symbol.] 
Cueball: So you're the creator of the universe? 
Creator of the Universe: That's me! So, got any questions?

[Cueball puts his hand to his face as he floats upright.] 
Cueball: Oh man, so many. What's the reason for baryon asymmetry? Why is most of the universe matter and not antimatter?

[Cueball's hand is back down he resumes his previous position.] 
Creator of the Universe: Crap. Did I forget the antimatter? One sec, let me just…

[Many explosions fill the panel, including a large explosion in the centre.] 
BOOM

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

3263: Baryon Asymmetry

2026-06-26T01:47:36Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ really no reason to assume that Black Hat is involved

{{comic
| number = 3263
| date = June 24, 2026
| title = Baryon Asymmetry
| image = baryon_asymmetry_2x.png
| imagesize = 682x270px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Wait, what do you mean, 'dark matter'? It's not dark, it interacts with high-energy gamma rays ... right? Oh jeez, did I forget to make it interact?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently, but was recently annihilated by it's anti-matter counterpart, and needs recreating. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
In this comic, [[Cueball]] talks with the creator of the universe (possibly the one previously seen in another [[3222: Star Formation|recent comic]]). Cueball wants to know why the universe has {{w|baryon asymmetry}}, which refers to the fact that the {{w|observable universe}} contains much more matter than {{w|antimatter}}. Current physical theories imply that matter and antimatter should have been created in roughly equal amounts. The fact that antimatter is extremely rare is very fortunate for humans and other objects made of matter, given that matter/antimatter reactions destroy both substances with a violent release of energy.

As it turns out, though, the creator of the universe, far from being wise and all-knowing, simply forgot to add a roughly equal amount of antimatter. Realizing their mistake, they proceed to add the antimatter that they originally forgot, only to create a massive explosion as large parts of the universe experience {{w|annihilation}}.

The creator seems to have been careless about the workings of their own created universe, only now adding in the forgotten antimatter without considering the widespread impact it would have on the current state of the universe. This is strange, given they created the universe, and they would surely not be oblivious to the fact that it either has not been working as intended (missing around half of its mass) or any realization that the forgotten feature was actually a bad idea after all. Although as he is conversing with Cueball, who has exhibited [[:Category:Cueball's computer problems|similar degrees of personal ineptitude]], and as this might or might not be the same entity as seen getting things 'wrong' in [[3222: Star Formation]], this might just go to show that it is a shared trait to have so much ability but so little foresight and understanding.

An alternative explanation could be that the sphere is an equivalent to [[Black Hat]], who knows all about the impact and yet 'corrects' the situation anyway, simply not caring about destroying the universe they created, or even deliberately choosing to {{tvtropes|LiteralGenie|worsen the situation}}.

The title text resolves another physics mystery in a similarly unexpected way. {{W|Dark matter}}, another substance that is thought to exist but is considerably less well understood than antimatter, mysteriously interacts via gravity but not, as far as we know, via electromagnetism. The creator seems to reveal that dark matter was ''supposed'' to interact with high-energy {{w|gamma rays}}, a form of electromagnetic radiation (which, at least as far as the creator is concerned, would not make it 'dark'), but they forgot to add that property to the substance that we had consequently called "dark matter". Exactly how this follow-up issue was posed is unknown, following the sudden annihilation of much (if not all) matter in Cueball's vicinity, and likely also his own body. However, there is a chance [[Cueball]] is safe from this, as the void shown is unknown, and the last panel could display events happening elsewhere in the universe, where the void is safe from such things.

It is uncertain if any more questions could be asked, after this other apparently-intended situation was properly implemented, but they might include something about the nature of {{w|dark energy}}, yet ''another'' mystery regarding the nature of the universe in which various after-market 'fixes' could also be particularly problematic.

The creator of the universe in this comic might be the same floating sphere featured in [[3085: About 20 Pounds]]. Talking to [[:Category:Time traveling Sphere|a floating sphere/orb]] or some [[1450: AI-Box Experiment|similarly non-corporeal entity]] is a recurring subject in xkcd.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

[Cueball is floating in a void. He is speaking with the creator of the universe, who appears as a black sun symbol.] 
Cueball: So you're the creator of the universe? 
Creator of the Universe: That's me! So, got any questions?

[Cueball puts his hand to his face as he floats upright.] 
Cueball: Oh man, so many. What's the reason for baryon asymmetry? Why is most of the universe matter and not antimatter?

[Cueball's hand is back down he resumes his previous position.] 
Creator of the Universe: Crap. Did I forget the antimatter? One sec, let me just…

[Many explosions fill the panel, including a large explosion in the centre.] 
BOOM

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

3246: Speedrun

2026-06-25T19:41:06Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ capitalization

{{comic
| number = 3246
| date = May 15, 2026
| title = Speedrun
| image = speedrun_2x.png
| imagesize = 288x343px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Usain Bolt holds the world record in the 100 meter speedrun.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Speedrunning}} is the sport of completing a {{w|video game}} or a goal within a game (for example, completing the main story) as fast as possible. [https://www.speedrun.com/ Speedrun.com], is a popular leaderboard aggregator for speedrunners.

Apparently, [[Cueball]]'s world-record setting attempt at some achievement was deleted from Speedrun.com because of the music he was listening to at the time. [[Megan]] makes the natural assumption that this was because the submission violated copyright on the music in question. It is common for video streamers to include a music 'bed', which can cause copyright issues if they have not taken care that their selections are cleared for use in this way. However, it turns out that his attempt was removed for being 'tool-assisted'. This is a pun on the word 'tool'.

A {{w|tool-assisted speedrun}} (or TAS for short) is a type of speedrun where supplementary tools are used to manipulate inputs frame-by-frame to perfect a run. Such tools are mostly used for experimenting with new strategies or finding areas where a time can be optimized, but it is possible to cheat a run by passing off a tool-assisted run as a normal speedrun.

''{{w|Lateralus}}'' and ''{{w|Ænima}}'' are albums by the band {{w|Tool (band)|Tool}} (who would be considered 'third-party' if they had no direct relationship to the game). Cueball is apparently considered to have got "assistance" from listening to Tool. In real life, a speedrun would be unlikely to be removed based on the music one is listening to while completing it. It could, though, be thought of as a concentration aid, or similar to using a {{w|metronome}}, which could be a [https://www.reddit.com/r/speedrun/s/ODqJcAWcKg controversial topic] if the game one is playing requires some sort of rhythm or precision where it would be useful.

The comic may be referencing {{w|Alex Honnold}}’s ascent of the {{w|Taipei 101}} tower, during which he listened to Tool. The comic was posted exactly 25 years after the ''Lateralus'' album was released.

The title text is another pun, this time on the word "speedrun". {{w|Usain Bolt}}'s world record-setting 100-meter dash record is a "speedrun" in the sense that it is literally a speedy run, and also an attempt by someone to complete a task as fast as possible. It is very common for internet personalities to say they are 'speedrunning' when they are doing a task quickly, even when completely unrelated to gaming (e.g. [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/sqjRfF2cYoE speedrunning petting a cat]). The notion of such a record being classified as a legitimate speedrun isn't farfetched as Speedrun.com has some leaderboards for [https://www.speedrun.com/series/IRL In Real Life] records. The use of "speedrun" to refer to an actual fast run may be considered to be a case of [[3123: Canon]].

In road races like {{w|marathon}}s, wearing technical devices is severely limited. For example, according to Book C2.1 rule 6.3.2 of [https://worldathletics.org/about-iaaf/documents/book-of-rules Book of Rules of World Athletics] they are not allowed to transmit any data. Under rule 6.3.2 CD, radio and similar devices are not allowed, so it would be very hard to find device which is allowed for speedrunning a marathon while listening to Lateralus and/or Ænima as many devices that are able to play audio would probably have functions similar to CD and/or radio, and even if they don't have those functions, in serious competitions, athletes are checked for wearing earphones or headphones (though amateurs get some leeway and can even carry their mobile phones). Also even if it was allowed athletes wouldn't want to carry any additional weight to be able to listen to music, as even [https://www.aol.com/sports/super-shoes-sebastian-sawe-redefined-145653498.html reducing weight of shoes] can significantly improve your time, so any audio play back device would add weight which pro athletes would want to avoid.

It is possible that speedrunning was on [[Randall]]'s mind due to the recent social media trend of {{w|Scientology speedrunning}}, in which someone attempts to get as deep as they can into a building belonging to the {{w|Church of Scientology}} before being kicked out. In addition, a marathon race was recently {{w|Marathon#World records and_world's best|completed in under two hours}} for the first time (in competition conditions), and {{w|Beijing_E-Town_Half-Marathon#2026_results|robotic competitors}} also beat an established human half-marathon world record (ironically, the best fully autonomous robots being slower than the one being partially human-assisted).

Randall has referred to bizarre speedruns before in [[744: Walkthrough]] and [[3148: 100% All Achievements]]

==Transcript==

:[Cueball is sitting at a desk with a laptop, typing on it. Megan is standing behind him.]
:Cueball: Aw man, Speedrun.com removed my world record just because I listened to Lateralus and Ænima to get in the flow.
:Megan: Oh, a copyright thing?
:Cueball: No, they don't allow Tool-assisted speedruns.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Puns]]

3249: Neutrino Project

2026-06-24T19:48:40Z

BunsenH: /* Transcript */ capitalization

{{comic
| number = 3249
| date = May 22, 2026
| title = Neutrino Project
| image = neutrino_project_2x.png
| imagesize = 324x471px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We definitely put the pool in a mine for shielding. It was absolutely not to hide it from the funding people.
}}

==Explanation==

A {{w|neutrino}} is a type of subatomic particle that interacts extremely rarely with matter. In nearly all cases, neutrinos pass through objects, regardless of density or composition, with no effects whatsoever unless there are {{What If|73|a lot of them}}. For instance, about [https://icecube.wisc.edu/news/press-releases/2017/11/first-look-at-how-earth-stops-high-energy-neutrinos-in-their-tracks/ 100 trillion neutrinos pass through your body every second] to no noticeable effect.

However, there is a very small chance that a neutrino will collide with any material, including water, which has the advantage of being transparent to the light that occurs due to {{w|photon}}s being produced by that interaction. Neutrinos can thus be detected by constructing a large pool of water, shielded from as many other particles and radiations as possible, and carefully monitoring it for the small flashes of light that occur when a neutrino does interact with one of the many water molecules within the pool. {{w|Photomultiplier tubes}} are used to assist in detecting these very faint and infrequent flashes and reveal the possible nature (and direction) of the interactions that caused them.

The comic jokes that these detectors were not constructed with this purpose in mind. Instead, [[Cueball]] and [[Ponytail]], the organizers of this project, obtained funding for a "neutrino project" and then embezzled these funds for a {{w|Party#Pool_party|pool party}}, likely primarily to buy the large swimming pool seen in the panel. Supposedly, they only then realize that the pool could be repurposed as an actual neutrino detector. It is unclear what they had claimed to be building with the funding they somehow obtained. Given that they didn't know how a neutrino detector worked, it may be that the money was to find out how to build the detector, though such preliminary research would probably be far less expensive than the actual construction, and the budget wouldn't make sense. Through their own curiosity, they have then inadvertently ended up still somehow achieving their job!

It is unclear how large the pool in the comic really is. The {{w|Super-Kamiokande}} detector in Japan, one of the world’s largest and most well-known neutrino detectors, holds over 50,000 tons of water. This is approximately 20 times the water capacity of {{w|Olympic-size swimming pool}}s. The only statement made about the water capacity in the swimming pool is "huge", which is not a precise measurement of volume or mass{{Citation needed}}. The pool appears to be between 10 and 20 meters in diameter. While the surface of the pool seems to be at most half as large as that of an Olympic-sized pool, its depth could be approximately the same, since it seems to safely allow jumps from an approximately 1 m high platform. A regular pool of this appearance would be expected to hold less water than an Olympic-sized one, and certainly much less than would be required for an effective neutrino detector. Since the bottom of the pool is not visible, the physicists ''might'' just have built a pool with an appropriate volume by making it extremely deep. Assuming a diameter of 20 m and therefore a surface area of approximately 314 m2, the pool would need to be approximately 159 m deep. Constructing such a pool would be difficult, thanks to the large depth. It's more likely that the pool simply isn't circular with such a small diameter. The small size of the pool may not necessarily be a problem in the context of the cartoon: the final report to the funding agency would simply conclude "Would work, but we need a larger pool for the next one."

The title text elaborates on why the pool was suitable for a neutrino detector. In real life, these detectors must be heavily shielded from all other particle interactions that might drown out neutrino interactions. This generally requires them to be deep underground (like {{w|Deep Underground Neutrino Experiment|this}} and {{w|Sudbury Neutrino Observatory|this}} and {{w|Super-Kamiokande|this}}), so a surface-level pool would obviously be unsuitable for that purpose. Randall implies that the pool was built in a deep mine in order to prevent it from being noticed by the people responsible for funding the project, due to them having misused the funding money. This could fulfill the shielding requirement, but is a humorously excessive strategy for hiding a swimming pool from a small group of people.

==Transcript==
:[There is a large pool with a curved edge at the bottom of the panel, with a diving board and several stickfigures in and around it. Ponytail and Cueball are talking in the pool; two characters with relatively indistinct hair are in the water either side of them, passing a beachball between themselves; an exuberant Cueball has somersaulted off the diving board in a 'cannonball'-like jump; another Ponytail and Danish are walking together along the outside of the pool, the former with a cocktail glass in her hand.]

: Ponytail in pool: How much trouble do you think we'll be in when they find out we used the grant money to throw a huge pool party instead?
: Cueball: We could argue that we '''''did''''' build a neutrino detector.
: Cueball: There's a lot of water here. A solar neutrino will probably interact with it at '''''some''''' point.
: Ponytail: ...Wait. Actually, if we got some photomultiplier tubes...

:[Caption below comic:]
:How the neutrino detector was invented

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

3262: Sports Commentary

2026-06-24T14:38:36Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ "that of" gives the possessive form; don't need to also have it in the object

{{comic
| number = 3262
| date = June 22, 2026
| title = Sports Commentary
| image = sports_commentary_2x.png
| imagesize = 251x374px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The plural of anecdote may not be data, but the singular of data is anecdote.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created at a statistically insignificant time, but it is the FIRST PAGE TO START WITH 3262. Don't remove this notice too soon. The title text's explanation should be expanded.}}

{{w|P-hacking}} is the academically problematic practice of attempting to come up with a question for which the data offers a significant ''p''-value (probability value), a subject [[882: Significant|previously covered]] in comic form. This is in contrast to correct scientific analysis, in which a realistic question is formulated clearly and then answered (or shown to be unjustified) with data.

A common way of doing ''p''-hacking is analyzing subgroups to attempt to find significance when the full dataset does not yield statistically significant results; for instance, arbitrarily restricting the analysis of medical data to male subjects to derive a significant ''p''-value when the inclusion of female subjects would have changed the conclusion. There are actual biological reasons why treatments may work differently between the different groups, and other reasons why female subjects may be less suitable participants in the trial, but a ''post facto'' decision to only present the 'male data' would be problematic. Similarly, looking at many other retrospective distinctions and then choosing to present only the possibly-random patterns that stood out, and ignoring all those that did not, would be questionable.

Sports commentators are known to do a form of ''p''-hacking in which they recall facts regarding past performance, and sometimes they are made to sound more significant by choosing only such 'facts' that coincide heavily with the situation developing in front of them. By using {{tvtropes|OverlyNarrowSuperlative|overly narrow superlatives}}, a severe form of narrowing down of applicability (which was [[2901: Geographic Qualifiers|previously covered]]), it also realistically reduces any real confidence that such a dwindling number of precedents are a useful predictor of how the upcoming event will turn out.

Randall satirizes this with an example in which the restriction uses very specific criteria largely irrelevant to gameplay patterns in order to narrow down the subgroup sample size to a measly two games. The 0-2 record (there were two situations considered as comparable, and neither of them resulted in the result hoped for in this current case) reflects random noise much more than any significant insight. As well as being irrelevant to gameplay, their ''p''-hacking also makes the game sound like jargon, which can be confusing and difficult to understand. This is ironic given a sports commentator's job is supposed to be to explain the situation they are fronting, rather than making them more vague and incomprehensible. However, this may be the inevitable response to being left in front of the camera during breaks in play, or even during periods of gameplay that are nominally unremarkable — feeling the pressure to say ''something'', they will draw upon ever more obscure and irrelevant details to justify their (or their off-screen advisors') efforts and expertise to entertain and inform the viewing public.

The title text references the saying, "The plural of anecdote is not data", which means that if you have a collection of several anecdotes, that is not considered valid statistical data. (Anecdotes are usually based on highly-informal observations, under conditions without controlled variables. There's generally considerable selection bias; after all, stories are much more usually told about remarkable events rather than ordinary ones. And anecdotes are usually based on someone's memory rather than on properly-recorded observations, so the descriptions are often unreliable.) It then inverts this phrase, saying that if you perform ''p''-hacking as shown in the comic to shrink your data set, all you are left with is an anecdote, statistically worth nothing.

{{cot|A breakdown of the commentary's statement}}
The comparison being made is that "Over the last 36 years, they've gone 0 for 2 when they've scored in the 37th minute to lead 2-1 against a team whose country comes before theirs alphabetically." This contains the following basic stipulations:
;"Over the last 36 years, ...": Counting just the full FIFA World Cup competitions, assuming they qualified for every one, the total number of games that an international team will have played, prior to anything in this year's competition, would have been a minimum of twenty seven matches (i.e. playing the first round group-stages, playing once against each of the other three teams in their particular group of four). ''If'' they're ever successful enough in the group stage, they'd then progress through the knockout stages of the competition for as many matches as they avoid being knocked out plus one, and semi-finalists additionally get to play one more match to establish the third-place overall. On top of that, there are the various regional qualifying matches they will usually have had to play to even enter the main competition, plus any other international matches (e.g. '{{w|Exhibition game|friendlies}}' or other region-based inter-nation competitions) that may have been taken part in.
;"... when they've scored in the 37th minute...": A football game has a nominal 90 minutes of game-time, plus possible extra time. No team in the World Cup has scored any more than {{w|Hungary v El Salvador (1982 FIFA World Cup)|ten goals}} in a single game, but it is ''far'' more common for even winning teams to have scored just two or three times per game, statistically, the chances of scoring in any given minute is an insignificant detail. There is also effectively no useful analysis of a goal being in the 37th minute, as opposed to the 36th or 38th, and hardly any even in being between in the larger block between 30 and 40 minutes. The psychology of goal timings usually gravitates towards whether they were in the first or second ''half'' of the event (or, beyond that, in extra time), with most useful attention paid to those that occur right at the start of either half (one team immediately seizing the initiative on the field) or right at the end (when desperation, increased chance-taking or just player exhaustion can lead to much-needed/-feared game-changing goals once any attempt at mutually defensive play breaks down and possible goal-droughts are ended).
;"... to lead 2-1 ...":As an equivalent example, in the 2022 World Cup, 14 group stage games (out of 48) and 9 knockout stage games (out of 16) may have at some point reached a 2-1 scoreline for one or other team, depending upon the order the respective teams' goals occurred, making this a relatively rare situation to be in. For additional context, and most relevant to the full statement, that year's competition also saw just six group games that had scores that ''might'' have had a temporary 2-1 lead for the team that went on to lose, whereas ''no'' team with a 2-1 scoreline in the knockouts did not then go on to win that match.
;"... against a team whose country comes before theirs alphabetically.": In ''every'' international match (and others, excepting perhaps games used to train the team's players against each other), there will inevitably be one national team whose name is alphabetically prior that of their opponents, even if that features very similar names (such as a match between the two Koreas, using the most similar manner of naming, where {{w|North Korea national football team|Korea DPR}} would precede {{w|South Korea national football team|Korea Republic}}) and there would also be no clear reason why a naming issue (alone) would have any significant bearing upon match outcomes.
;"... they've gone 0 for 2 ...": (As the stated past consequence of all these specifically combined conditions.) Just ''two'' occasions satisfied all these conditions, out of possibly many tens of matches, and we are told that neither of them ended in a victory. Not only are the comic's precedents ''very'' rare, compared to all possible games (which, nevertheless seems to be even rarer in real life), but also this mini-'streak' of results is only a matter of history. In [[1122: Electoral Precedent]], increasingly convoluted situations may have previously been entirely predictive in possibly even several dozen instances... ''until they weren't''.
{{cob}}

This comic was published 11 days into the {{w|2026 FIFA World Cup}}. The World Cup was also the subject of [[3260: Messi]], published the previous Wednesday. Sports commentary was also the subject of [[904: Sports]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
:[Cueball and Ponytail are sitting at a table, looking at the wall behind them. On the wall is a screen showing a soccer field with some mostly unreadable score information above it. The only readable information is that the score is 2-1.]
:Cueball: They could be in trouble. Over the last 36 years, they've gone 0 for 2 when they've scored in the 37th minute to lead 2-1 against a team whose country comes before theirs alphabetically.
:[Caption below comic:]
:I wish sports commentators hadn't discovered p-hacking.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Statistics]]

3262: Sports Commentary

2026-06-24T14:31:21Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ anecdotage

{{comic
| number = 3262
| date = June 22, 2026
| title = Sports Commentary
| image = sports_commentary_2x.png
| imagesize = 251x374px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The plural of anecdote may not be data, but the singular of data is anecdote.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created at a statistically insignificant time, but it is the FIRST PAGE TO START WITH 3262. Don't remove this notice too soon. The title text's explanation should be expanded.}}

{{w|P-hacking}} is the academically problematic practice of attempting to come up with a question for which the data offers a significant ''p''-value (probability value), a subject [[882: Significant|previously covered]] in comic form. This is in contrast to correct scientific analysis, in which a realistic question is formulated clearly and then answered (or shown to be unjustified) with data.

A common way of doing ''p''-hacking is analyzing subgroups to attempt to find significance when the full dataset does not yield statistically significant results; for instance, arbitrarily restricting the analysis of medical data to male subjects to derive a significant ''p''-value when the inclusion of female subjects would have changed the conclusion. There are actual biological reasons why treatments may work differently between the different groups, and other reasons why female subjects may be less suitable participants in the trial, but a ''post facto'' decision to only present the 'male data' would be problematic. Similarly, looking at many other retrospective distinctions and then choosing to present only the possibly-random patterns that stood out, and ignoring all those that did not, would be questionable.

Sports commentators are known to do a form of ''p''-hacking in which they recall facts regarding past performance, and sometimes they are made to sound more significant by choosing only such 'facts' that coincide heavily with the situation developing in front of them. By using {{tvtropes|OverlyNarrowSuperlative|overly narrow superlatives}}, a severe form of narrowing down of applicability (which was [[2901: Geographic Qualifiers|previously covered]]), it also realistically reduces any real confidence that such a dwindling number of precedents are a useful predictor of how the upcoming event will turn out.

Randall satirizes this with an example in which the restriction uses very specific criteria largely irrelevant to gameplay patterns in order to narrow down the subgroup sample size to a measly two games. The 0-2 record (there were two situations considered as comparable, and neither of them resulted in the result hoped for in this current case) reflects random noise much more than any significant insight. As well as being irrelevant to gameplay, their ''p''-hacking also makes the game sound like jargon, which can be confusing and difficult to understand. This is ironic given a sports commentator's job is supposed to be to explain the situation they are fronting, rather than making them more vague and incomprehensible. However, this may be the inevitable response to being left in front of the camera during breaks in play, or even during periods of gameplay that are nominally unremarkable — feeling the pressure to say ''something'', they will draw upon ever more obscure and irrelevant details to justify their (or their off-screen advisors') efforts and expertise to entertain and inform the viewing public.

The title text references the saying, "The plural of anecdote is not data", which means that if you have a collection of several anecdotes, that is not considered valid statistical data. (Anecdotes are usually based on highly-informal observations, under conditions without controlled variables. There's generally considerable selection bias; after all, stories are much more usually told about remarkable events rather than ordinary ones. And anecdotes are usually based on someone's memory rather than on properly-recorded observations, so the descriptions are often unreliable.) It then inverts this phrase, saying that if you perform ''p''-hacking as shown in the comic to shrink your data set, all you are left with is an anecdote, statistically worth nothing.

{{cot|A breakdown of the commentary's statement}}
The comparison being made is that "Over the last 36 years, they've gone 0 for 2 when they've scored in the 37th minute to lead 2-1 against a team whose country comes before theirs alphabetically." This contains the following basic stipulations:
;"Over the last 36 years, ...": Counting just the full FIFA World Cup competitions, assuming they qualified for every one, the total number of games that an international team will have played, prior to anything in this year's competition, would have been a minimum of twenty seven matches (i.e. playing the first round group-stages, playing once against each of the other three teams in their particular group of four). ''If'' they're ever successful enough in the group stage, they'd then progress through the knockout stages of the competition for as many matches as they avoid being knocked out plus one, and semi-finalists additionally get to play one more match to establish the third-place overall. On top of that, there are the various regional qualifying matches they will usually have had to play to even enter the main competition, plus any other international matches (e.g. '{{w|Exhibition game|friendlies}}' or other region-based inter-nation competitions) that may have been taken part in.
;"... when they've scored in the 37th minute...": A football game has a nominal 90 minutes of game-time, plus possible extra time. No team in the World Cup has scored any more than {{w|Hungary v El Salvador (1982 FIFA World Cup)|ten goals}} in a single game, but it is ''far'' more common for even winning teams to have scored just two or three times per game, statistically, the chances of scoring in any given minute is an insignificant detail. There is also effectively no useful analysis of a goal being in the 37th minute, as opposed to the 36th or 38th, and hardly any even in being between in the larger block between 30 and 40 minutes. The psychology of goal timings usually gravitates towards whether they were in the first or second ''half'' of the event (or, beyond that, in extra time), with most useful attention paid to those that occur right at the start of either half (one team immediately seizing the initiative on the field) or right at the end (when desperation, increased chance-taking or just player exhaustion can lead to much-needed/-feared game-changing goals once any attempt at mutually defensive play breaks down and possible goal-droughts are ended).
;"... to lead 2-1 ...":As an equivalent example, in the 2022 World Cup, 14 group stage games (out of 48) and 9 knockout stage games (out of 16) may have at some point reached a 2-1 scoreline for one or other team, depending upon the order the respective teams' goals occurred, making this a relatively rare situation to be in. For additional context, and most relevant to the full statement, that year's competition also saw just six group games that had scores that ''might'' have had a temporary 2-1 lead for the team that went on to lose, whereas ''no'' team with a 2-1 scoreline in the knockouts did not then go on to win that match.
;"... against a team whose country comes before theirs alphabetically.": In ''every'' international match (and others, excepting perhaps games used to train the team's players against each other), there will inevitably be one national team whose name is alphabetically prior that of their opponents', even if that features very similar names (such as a match between the two Koreas, using the most similar manner of naming, where {{w|North Korea national football team|Korea DPR}} would precede {{w|South Korea national football team|Korea Republic}}) and there would also be no clear reason why a naming issue (alone) would have any significant bearing upon match outcomes.
;"... they've gone 0 for 2 ...": (As the stated past consequence of all these specifically combined conditions.) Just ''two'' occasions satisfied all these conditions, out of possibly many tens of matches, and we are told that neither of them ended in a victory. Not only are the comic's precedents ''very'' rare, compared to all possible games (which, nevertheless seems to be even rarer in real life), but also this mini-'streak' of results is only a matter of history. In [[1122: Electoral Precedent]], increasingly convoluted situations may have previously been entirely predictive in possibly even several dozen instances... ''until they weren't''.
{{cob}}

This comic was published 11 days into the {{w|2026 FIFA World Cup}}. The World Cup was also the subject of [[3260: Messi]], published the previous Wednesday. Sports commentary was also the subject of [[904: Sports]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
:[Cueball and Ponytail are sitting at a table, looking at the wall behind them. On the wall is a screen showing a soccer field with some mostly unreadable score information above it. The only readable information is that the score is 2-1.]
:Cueball: They could be in trouble. Over the last 36 years, they've gone 0 for 2 when they've scored in the 37th minute to lead 2-1 against a team whose country comes before theirs alphabetically.
:[Caption below comic:]
:I wish sports commentators hadn't discovered p-hacking.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Statistics]]

3261: Side Effect

2026-06-23T14:20:02Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ Let's eat kids! / Let's eat, kids!

{{comic
| number = 3261
| date = June 19, 2026
| title = Side Effect
| image = side_effect_2x.png
| imagesize = 658x247px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Brace yourself--the chirp gets pretty weird.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by sensitive medication and HAS SIDE EFFECTS. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

This comic takes the concept of medication side-effects ''ad absurdum''. The side effect of sensitivity to sun exposure described by [[Beret Guy]] is [https://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/sun-sensitizing-drugs entirely precedented]; however, heightened sensitivity to {{w|gravitational waves}} is not a known effect.{{Citation needed}} Due to the entirely normal first side effect, [[Ponytail]] initially misses the gravitational wave side effect. She is about to find out what that is about.

Gravitational waves are waves of distortion in spacetime, caused by the relative movement of objects, which travel at the speed of light. When the objects involved are of great mass, such as neutron stars and/or black holes orbiting each other, the waves can be detected by extremely precise instruments (e.g. {{w|interferometers}}) which detect the ever-so-slight stretching and squishing caused to everything in their path. As a side-effect of his medication, Beret Guy exhibits the stretching and squishing of a gravitational wave much more strongly than normal, to the degree that it's visible to the naked eye. Beret Guy's hat also stretches and shrinks, indicating it could be a part of his body, which contradicts the idea from [[291: Dignified|an earlier comic]] that it is stapled to his head. Alternatively, it may be part of the [[:Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy|strange power]] the medicine makes him exhibit.

This is probably the most extreme example to date of Beret Guy's peculiar sensitivity to minuscule external forces. By way of comparison, the most sensitive current ground-based laser interferometer, {{w|LIGO}}, has detection arms which are 4 km in length, and with strong gravitational waves, it experiences changes in the distance between the ends of the arms by at most roughly 10−18 meters, or 1 attometer; for comparison, a proton's diameter is roughly 1700 attometers. The relative change is thus about 2.5 × 10-22. If Beret Guy is experiencing distortions of about a quarter of his height, the relative change is 0.25, larger than LIGO's by a factor of about 1021. However, rather than showing concern for his body rapidly changing shape, he instead enjoys the feeling, saying 'Wheee!' in the last panel. This could just be because his whole body 'rides' his own personal changes in space-time geometry — everything down to his molecular bonds extends and contracts in proportional synchronisation to all parallel bonds. Aside from watching out for non-fluctuating surroundings (like a ceiling suddenly being effectively too low for comfort), the effect applies consistently (unlike in {{w|spaghettification}}, across the gravitational potential from a nearby massive object) his body and all his personally-attuned clothing experiences no great mechanical stress.

Beret Guy's reaction to the gravitational wave seem similar to a surfer: he says "Here comes one now!", and after it passes him, "''Wheee!''". Since gravitational waves propagate at the speed of light, normal people can't receive any information from them before they actually arrive, so they can't know that one is coming. Beret Guy can, or he may simply be aware of the effect beginning to ramp up, and calls it out before the waves become significant.

The "{{w|chirp mass|chirp}}" described in the title text refers to gravitational waves during the end-stages of the collision of two black holes and/or neutron stars, during which expansion and contraction of the waves sweeps up in frequency to the point where they alternate extremely rapidly. This type of wave is called a 'chirp' in signal analysis. When the gravitational wave is [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWqhUANNFXw represented as sound], it does indeed make a chirping sound. The chirp would also cause Beret Guy's body to change form repeatedly and rapidly. In the final stages of the merger, the colliding stars emit waves whose period is on the order of a couple of milliseconds, so if Beret Guy's sensitivity to the waves remained constant, a human observer would see only a blur. However, in normal Beret Guy fashion, he somewhat smooths over that strange and concerning affect, describing it only as 'pretty weird' in his warning to Ponytail.

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy is standing to the right of Ponytail.]
:Beret Guy: This new topical medication makes me extra sensitive to sun exposure and gravitational waves.

:[Beret Guy's arms are out.]
:Ponytail: Oh yeah, that's a common ...wait, what was that last part?
:Beret Guy: Here comes one now!

:[Ponytail stands facing Beret Guy, who is stretched out in height.]

:[Ponytail stands facing Beret Guy, who is now shorter and wider than he was originally.]

:[Ponytail stands facing Beret Guy, who is now stretched out in height again as he was in the third panel.]
:Beret Guy: ''WHEEE!''

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Medicine]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]

3261: Side Effect

2026-06-23T03:39:00Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ here it comes...

{{comic
| number = 3261
| date = June 19, 2026
| title = Side Effect
| image = side_effect_2x.png
| imagesize = 658x247px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Brace yourself--the chirp gets pretty weird.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by sensitive medication and HAS SIDE EFFECTS. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

This comic takes the concept of medication side-effects ''ad absurdum''. The side effect of sensitivity to sun exposure described by [[Beret Guy]] is [https://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/sun-sensitizing-drugs entirely precedented]; however, heightened sensitivity to {{w|gravitational waves}} is not a known effect.{{Citation needed}} Due to the entirely normal first side effect, [[Ponytail]] initially misses the gravitational wave side effect. She is about to find out what that is about.

Gravitational waves are waves of distortion in spacetime caused by fast-moving massive objects, such as neutron stars and/or black holes orbiting each other. The waves travel at the speed of light and can be measured by precise instruments (e.g., {{w|interferometers}}) which detect the ever-so-slight stretching and squishing caused by gravitational waves. As a side-effect of his medication, Beret Guy exhibits the stretching and squishing of a gravitational wave much more strongly than normal, to the degree that it's visible to the naked eye. Beret Guy's hat also stretches and shrinks, indicating it could be a part of his body, which contradicts the idea from [[291: Dignified|an earlier comic]] that it is stapled to his head. Alternatively, it may be part of the [[:Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy|strange power]] the medicine makes him exhibit.

This is probably the most extreme example to date of Beret Guy's peculiar sensitivity to minuscule external forces. By way of comparison, the most sensitive current ground-based laser interferometer, {{w|LIGO}}, has detection arms which are 4 km in length, and with strong gravitational waves, it experiences changes in the distance between the ends of the arms by at most roughly 10−18 meters, or 1 attometer; for comparison, a proton's diameter is roughly 1700 attometers. The relative change is thus about 2.5 × 10-22. If Beret Guy is experiencing distortions of about a quarter of his height, the relative change is 0.25, larger than LIGO's by a factor of about 1021. However, rather than showing concern for his body rapidly changing shape, he instead enjoys the feeling, saying 'Wheee!' in the last panel. This could just be because his whole body 'rides' his own personal changes in space-time geometry, everything down to his molecular bonds extend and contract in proportional synchronisation to all parallel bonds — aside from watching out for non-fluctuating surroundings (like a ceiling suddenly being effectively too low for comfort), the effect applies consistently (unlike in {{w|spaghettification}}, across the gravitational potential from a nearby massive object) his body and all his personally-attuned clothing experiences no great mechanical stress.

The "{{w|chirp mass|chirp}}" described in the title text refers to gravitational waves during the end-stages of the collision of two black holes and/or neutron stars, during which expansion and contraction of the waves sweeps up in frequency to the point where they alternate extremely rapidly. This type of wave is called a {{w|chirp}} in signal analysis. When the gravitational wave is [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWqhUANNFXw represented as sound], it does indeed make a chirping sound. The chirp would also cause Beret Guy's body to change form repeatedly and rapidly. In the final stages of the merger, the colliding stars emit waves whose period is on the order of a couple of milliseconds, so if Beret Guy's sensitivity to the waves remained constant, a human observer would see only a blur. However, in normal Beret Guy fashion, he somewhat smooths over that strange and concerning affect, describing it only as 'pretty weird' in his warning to Ponytail.

Beret Guy's reaction to the gravitational wave seem similar to a surfer: he says "Here comes one now!", and after it passes him, "''Wheee!''". Since gravitational waves propagate at the speed of light, normal people can't receive any information from them before they actually arrive, so they can't know that one is coming. But of course Beret Guy can. Or he may simply be aware of the effect beginning to ramp up, and calls it out before the waves become significant.

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy is standing to the right of Ponytail.]
:Beret Guy: This new topical medication makes me extra sensitive to sun exposure and gravitational waves.

:[Beret Guy's arms are out.]
:Ponytail: Oh yeah, that's a common ...wait, what was that last part?
:Beret Guy: Here comes one now!

:[Ponytail stands facing Beret Guy, who is stretched out in height.]

:[Ponytail stands facing Beret Guy, who is now shorter and wider than he was originally.]

:[Ponytail stands facing Beret Guy, who is now stretched out in height again as he was in the third panel.]
:Beret Guy: ''WHEEE!''

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Medicine]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]

3261: Side Effect

2026-06-21T14:40:18Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ chirp

{{comic
| number = 3261
| date = June 19, 2026
| title = Side Effect
| image = side_effect_2x.png
| imagesize = 658x247px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Brace yourself--the chirp gets pretty weird.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by sensitive medication and HAS SIDE EFFECTS. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

This comic takes the concept of medication side-effects ''ad absurdum''. The side effect of sensitivity to sun exposure described by [[Beret Guy]] is [https://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/sun-sensitizing-drugs entirely precedented], however, sensitivity to {{w|gravitational waves}} is far less normal.{{Citation needed}} Due to the entirely normal first side effect, [[Ponytail]] initially misses the gravitational wave side effect. She is about to find out what that is about.

Gravitational waves, to oversimplify, are waves of distortion in spacetime caused by fast-moving massive gravitational objects such as neutron stars or black holes orbiting each other. The waves travel at the speed of light and can be measured by precise instruments (e.g. {{w|interferometer}}s) which detect the ever-so-slight stretching and squishing caused by gravitational waves. As a side-effect of his medication, Beret Guy exhibits the stretching and squishing of a gravitational wave much stronger than normal, to the degree that it is visible to the naked eye. Beret Guy's hat also stretches and shrinks, indicating it could be a part of his body, which contradicts the idea from [[291: Dignified|an earlier comic]] that it is stapled to his head. Alternatively, it may be part of the [[:Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy|strange power]] the medicine makes him exhibit.

This is probably the most extreme example to date of Beret Guy being peculiarly sensitive to minuscule external forces. By way of comparison, the most sensitive current ground-based laser interferometer, {{w|LIGO}}, has light storage arms which are 4 km in length, and with strong gravitational waves, it experiences changes in the distance between the ends of the arms by at most roughly 10−18 meters, or 1 attometer. The relative change is thus about 2.5 × 10-22. If Beret Guy is experiencing distortions of about a quarter of his height, the relative change is 0.25, larger than LIGO's by a factor of about 1021. However, rather than showing concern for his body rapidly changing shape, he instead enjoys the feeling, saying 'Whee' in the last panel.

"{{w|chirp mass|The chirp}}" described in the title text refers to gravitational waves during the end-stages of the collision of two black holes or neutron stars, during which expansion and contraction of the waves increase in frequency to the point where they alternate extremely rapidly. When the gravitational wave is represented through [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWqhUANNFXw sound], it does indeed make a chirping sound. The chirp would also cause Beret Guy's body to change form repeatedly and rapidly. The final stages of the merger of two black holes have a rotation period on the order of a couple of ''milliseconds'', so if Beret Guy's sensitivity to the waves remained constant, a human observer would see only a blur.

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy is standing to the right of Ponytail.]
:Beret Guy: This new topical medication makes me extra sensitive to sun exposure and gravitational waves.

:[Beret Guy's arms are out.]
:Ponytail: Oh yeah, that's a common ...wait, what was that last part?
:Beret Guy: Here comes one now!

:[Ponytail stands facing Beret Guy, who is stretched out in height.]

:[Ponytail stands facing Beret Guy, who is now shorter and wider than he was originally.]

:[Ponytail stands facing Beret Guy, who is now stretched out in height again as he was in the third panel.]
:Beret Guy: ''WHEEE!''

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Medicine]]

Talk:3261: Side Effect

2026-06-20T20:14:46Z

BunsenH:

FIRST COMMENT! [[User:YZ100|YZ100]] 2:07, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

I do believe this takes the cake from [[Doppler Effect]] as my all time favorite. [[User:Jjj|Jjj]] ([[User talk:Jjj|talk]]) 02:43, 20 June 2026 (UTC)
:The Doppler Effect one was a good one. [[User:YZ100|YZ100]] ([[User talk:YZ100|talk]]) 2:51, 20 June 2026 (UTC)
I tried my best to add a little bit of an explanation, it’s probably not very good and it’s certainly missing some stuff, but at least there’s something now.[[User:IllegallyNamed|IllegallyNamed]] ([[User talk:IllegallyNamed|talk]]) 03:01, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

even the hat changes. I guess its part of him [[User:Student Driver|Student Driver]] ([[User talk:Student Driver|talk]]) 03:22, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

I've added a (probably massively incorrect) detail on "The chirp". Someone with better understanding of black holes will probably need to amend it! [[Special:Contributions/161.65.236.209|161.65.236.209]] 05:46, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

His beret expands and shrinks because it's stapled to his head -- his head underneath it is expanding and shrinking, dragging the top of the beret with it. [[Special:Contributions/142.134.94.223|142.134.94.223]] 16:23, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

Would Beret Guy be experiencing discomfort from these distortions of spacetime? If it was caused by something like the tidal forces at differing distances from a nearby neutron star or black hole, large enough to cause that much stretching, I'd expect it to be very harmful. [[User:BunsenH|BunsenH]] ([[User talk:BunsenH|talk]]) 20:14, 20 June 2026 (UTC)

3261: Side Effect

2026-06-20T20:10:57Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ extreme sensitivity

291: Dignified

2026-06-20T14:05:36Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ don't need "this comic"; not referring to cats that are in the title text

{{comic
| number = 291
| date = July 18, 2007
| title = Dignified
| image = dignified.png
| titletext = 'I don't know, why is your beret staying on your head?' 'Staples.'
}}

==Explanation==
[[Beret Guy]] is hanging upside down in a tree, usually something you might have done in your childhood. As an adult, it is not considered very dignified. Most likely, [[White Hat]] made a comment on this and the fact that Beret Guy has his head down. But then, Beret Guy gives him an answer, regarding where White Hat's head once came through and asks him why he is still acting so {{w|dignified}}.

Here, Beret Guy is referring to the process of {{w|childbirth}}. Put in the way he mentions said process, the fact that White Hat came into this world in such a fashion would be very humiliating.

In the title text, White Hat replies that he does not know, but then continues to ask why Beret Guy's beret stays on his head, even when upside down (in which gravity would tend to make a beret fall off). Beret Guy explains that he has stapled the beret onto his head.

Such a process is similar to that of closing a wound after major head surgery, using {{w|surgical staples}}. Normally, the stapling of the head would be conducted with anesthetic and removed after the incision has healed, and only an insane person would do this to himself.
Doing this the way Beret Guy did it would be very, very, painful, and likely a bad idea.{{Citation needed}}

Beret Guy is never seen without his hat (although it has been hidden under a green helmet once in [[769: War]]). And later in [[478: The Staple Madness]], it turns out that he likes to staple anything to everything, so maybe he also stapled his hat to his head. The staple madness comic may very well be a sequel to [[262: IN UR REALITY]], where Black Hat implied in the title text that he had stapled stuff to cats.

This also means that White Hat was not born by {{w|C-section}}.

In the teaser trailer of Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade, Indy [https://youtu.be/DZNlwJV5RRo?t=42 staples a hat to his head] (or at least pretends to) to prevent it from blowing off, a similar situation to the one Beret Guy is in here.

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy swinging upside-down from a tree branch talking to White Hat walking by.]
:Beret Guy: You were once shoved headfirst through someone's vagina. Why are you acting so dignified?

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics with a Spanish translation]]

3261: Side Effect

2026-06-20T05:08:42Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ minuscule forces

3257: Beam Pipe

2026-06-19T02:41:55Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ hydraulic ram

{{comic
| number = 3257
| date = June 10, 2026
| title = Beam Pipe
| image = beam_pipe_2x.png
| imagesize = 309x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'If you keep trying to spray your collaborators with the beam when they're not looking, I'm turning off the ion source and NO one will get to play with the beam!' --Physics's mom
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was given a Nobel prize for its effort. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
When a liquid is flowing within a tube, the pressure at any point is determined by an equilibrium between the supply pressure and the forces that restrict flow, such as friction with the walls and hydrodynamic effects in the liquid. If the tube is short and the outflow opening is large, the pressure within the tube is close to the exterior pressure (air pressure, in the case of a liquid flowing into air). If the outflow opening is negligible, the pressure within the tube is essentially equal to the pressure of the liquid's supply. If the tube is constructed of an elastic material, it will expand until an equilibrium is reached between the internal pressure and the elastic stretch of the tube... unless the pressure is enough to rupture the tube.

In the case of a hose carrying water, if the exit is fully open, the water pressure near the exit will be moderate: greater than atmospheric pressure, but less than the full pressure of the water supply. The more the exit is restricted, such as by part covering it with a thumb, decreasing the water flow, the closer the pressure near the exit will come to the full pressure of the water supply. (In the limiting case where the exit is fully blocked, the hose will essentially be an extension of the plumbing, and its internal pressure will be that of the water supply, as modified by the gravitational effects of raising or lowering the hose, and the weight of the water). If the hose is elastic (e.g. the usual garden-hose reinforced rubber), it's possible to see it stretch as the nozzle is restricted. Covering it with a thumb, while reducing the water flow, allows the water that does come out to do so at relatively high pressure.

As the {{w|Large Hadron Collider}} ("LHC") can be considered a sort of "pipe" (a beam pipe, as pointed out in the comic title), this comic makes the ridiculous assumption that the same logic applies there — that its beam can be concentrated and redirected by partially covering the end of the beam with a thumb. This wouldn't work in real life: water molecules are moving at low speed and thus do not have sufficient energy to overcome the electrostatic repulsion between their electrons and those of the thumb, forcing them to change path. In contrast the kinetic energy of the particles in the LHC (7 TeV, in the case of protons destined for 14-TeV proton-proton collisions) is far far larger than the repulsion of the thumb. Most particles will pass through unaffected, while those hitting thumb nuclei directly will produce a cascade of new particles similar to those the LHC is intended to produce. This procedure would have to be done at one of the LHC's two [https://home.cern/autopsy-lhc-beam-dump/ beam dump sections], where the contents of the beam are allowed to exit into long steel-encased graphite blocks. Over time, those blocks become dangerously radioactive from the impact of the beam particles. There isn't currently any means to bypass these blocks and allow a person to interact with the beam while the LHC is in operation. Although the section of the 'pipe' shown seems to indicate that it is in a section where one or other of the {{w|Compact Muon Solenoid|main detectors}} surrounds the pipe (which, during inoperable periods of construction, modification or other extensive maintenance, might have a part of the adjacent length of pipe withdrawn), this couldn't be done while the system was running. Apart from the basic problem that the system can't work while part of it has been removed, the interior of the LHC must be maintained at an extremely high vacuum while it's running.

While there is no recorded case of a human getting struck by the particle beam at LHC, {{w|Anatoli Bugorski|Anatoli Petrovich Bugorski}} did accidentally hold his head into the proton beam of a 76 GeV (about 180 times less than the energies at the LHC) particle accelerator while trying to repair a faulty part. This had severe but not lethal consequences: the resulting acute radiation sickness caused the affected parts of his face to swell and the skin to flake off, The affected nerves never recovered, leaving the left side of his face paralysed and his left ear deaf. The damage to his brain resulted in several epileptic seizures, but did not affect him otherwise, allowing him to continue his work as a physicist, and at time of publication he was still alive at the age of 82.

Thus, while pointless, holding the thumb into the LHC beam for a short time is unlikely to significantly harm anyone trying it... apart from possibly requiring amputation of the thumb, if there was enough tissue damage or induced radioactivity. At any rate, this wouldn't work in real life: the relativistic particles would not behave as a liquid.

The title text expands the joke, once more treating the LHC as if it were a hosepipe. Applying the effect above to a hosepipe is a common thing for children to do — often to spray family and friends with the pressurized water. This applies the same logic to the LHC, imagining the mother of "physics" (the science, as opposed to a person) telling off their presumably adult child for "spraying their colleagues with the beam" — something very incomprehensible in real life.

A variety of devices are marketed to increase the pressure of water supplied to them. The {{w|pressure washing|pressure washer}} is a common example; it uses electrical power to add force to the output water. It's possible to use force created by flow of part of a fluid stream, which exits the system with low pressure, to increase the pressure in the remainder, in devices such as a {{w|hydraulic ram}}. There are also scams based on devices that supposedly increase the pressure from a water source ''without'' using any externally-provided power and without wasting water, but this is a physical impossibility. The force of the water coming out can't be greater than the force of the water coming in, or a perpetual-motion device could be constructed with the water running in a loop and the added force being tapped to power a generator. At most, the output force will be the same as that of the water supply, in the limiting case of zero flow, less any frictional losses within the device.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A picture shows a (partly obscured by the panel) particle accelerator (namely this one being the Large Hadron Collider at CERN). Megan is shown on a stepladder, covering the beam pipe with her thumb. Cueball is shown standing behind the ladder, watching.]
:[Caption below the panel:]
:This year's physics Nobel will go to the scientists who figured out that you could make the Large Hadron Collider more powerful by covering part of the beam pipe with your thumb.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]

3257: Beam Pipe

2026-06-18T02:31:46Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ rearrange

{{comic
| number = 3257
| date = June 10, 2026
| title = Beam Pipe
| image = beam_pipe_2x.png
| imagesize = 309x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'If you keep trying to spray your collaborators with the beam when they're not looking, I'm turning off the ion source and NO one will get to play with the beam!' --Physics's mom
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was given a Nobel prize for its effort. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
When a liquid is flowing within a tube, the pressure at any point is determined by an equilibrium between the supply pressure and the forces that restrict flow, such as friction with the walls and hydrodynamic effects in the liquid. If the tube is short and the outflow opening is large, the pressure within the tube is close to the exterior pressure (air pressure, in the case of a liquid flowing into air). If the outflow opening is negligible, the pressure within the tube is essentially equal to the pressure of the liquid's supply. If the tube is constructed of an elastic material, it will expand until an equilibrium is reached between the internal pressure and the elastic stretch of the tube... unless the pressure is enough to rupture the tube.

In the case of a hose carrying water, if the exit is fully open, the water pressure near the exit will be moderate: greater than atmospheric pressure, but less than the full pressure of the water supply. The more the exit is restricted, such as by part covering it with a thumb, decreasing the water flow, the closer the pressure near the exit will come to the full pressure of the water supply. (In the limiting case where the exit is fully blocked, the hose will essentially be an extension of the plumbing, and its internal pressure will be that of the water supply, as modified by the gravitational effects of raising or lowering the hose, and the weight of the water). If the hose is elastic (e.g. the usual garden-hose reinforced rubber), it's possible to see it stretch as the nozzle is restricted. Covering it with a thumb, while reducing the water flow, allows the water that does come out to do so at relatively high pressure.

As the {{w|Large Hadron Collider}} ("LHC") can be considered a sort of "pipe" (a beam pipe, as pointed out in the comic title), this comic makes the ridiculous assumption that the same logic applies there — that its beam can be concentrated and redirected by partially covering the end of the beam with a thumb. This wouldn't work in real life: water molecules are moving at low speed and thus do not have sufficient energy to overcome the electrostatic repulsion between their electrons and those of the thumb, forcing them to change path. In contrast the kinetic energy of the particles in the LHC (7 TeV, in the case of protons destined for 14-TeV proton-proton collisions) is far far larger than the repulsion of the thumb. Most particles will pass through unaffected, while those hitting thumb nuclei directly will produce a cascade of new particles similar to those the LHC is intended to produce. This procedure would have to be done at one of the LHC's two [https://home.cern/autopsy-lhc-beam-dump/ beam dump sections], where the contents of the beam are allowed to exit into long steel-encased graphite blocks. Over time, those blocks become dangerously radioactive from the impact of the beam particles. There isn't currently any means to bypass these blocks and allow a person to interact with the beam while the LHC is in operation. Although the section of the 'pipe' shown seems to indicate that it is in a section where one or other of the {{w|Compact Muon Solenoid|main detectors}} surrounds the pipe (which, during inoperable periods of construction, modification or other extensive maintenance, might have a part of the adjacent length of pipe withdrawn), this couldn't be done while the system was running. Apart from the basic problem that the system can't work while part of it has been removed, the interior of the LHC must be maintained at an extremely high vacuum while it's running.

While there is no recorded case of a human getting struck by the particle beam at LHC, {{w|Anatoli Bugorski|Anatoli Petrovich Bugorski}} did accidentally hold his head into the proton beam of a 76 GeV (about 180 times less than the energies at the LHC) particle accelerator while trying to repair a faulty part. This had severe but not lethal consequences: the resulting acute radiation sickness caused the affected parts of his face to swell and the skin to flake off, The affected nerves never recovered, leaving the left side of his face paralysed and his left ear deaf. The damage to his brain resulted in several epileptic seizures, but did not affect him otherwise, allowing him to continue his work as a physicist, and at time of publication he was still alive at the age of 82.

Thus, while pointless, holding the thumb into the LHC beam for a short time is unlikely to significantly harm anyone trying it... apart from possibly requiring amputation of the thumb, if there was enough tissue damage or induced radioactivity. At any rate, this wouldn't work in real life: the relativistic particles would not behave as a liquid.

The title text expands the joke, once more treating the LHC as if it were a hosepipe. Applying the effect above to a hosepipe is a common thing for children to do — often to spray family and friends with the pressurized water. This applies the same logic to the LHC, imagining the mother of "physics" (the science, as opposed to a person) telling off their presumably adult child for "spraying their colleagues with the beam" — something very incomprehensible in real life.

A variety of devices are marketed to increase the pressure of water supplied to them. The {{w|pressure washing|pressure washer}} is a common example; it uses electrical power to add force to the output water. There are also scams based on devices that supposedly increase the output water pressure ''without'' using any externally-provided power, but this is a physical impossibility. The force of the water coming out can't be greater than the force of the water coming in, or a perpetual-motion device could be constructed with the water running in a loop and the added force being tapped to power a generator. At most, the output pressure will be the same as that of the water supply, in the limiting case of zero flow, less any frictional losses within the device.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A picture shows a (partly obscured by the panel) particle accelerator (namely this one being the Large Hadron Collider at CERN). Megan is shown on a stepladder, covering the beam pipe with her thumb. Cueball is shown standing behind the ladder, watching.]
:[Caption below the panel:]
:This year's physics Nobel will go to the scientists who figured out that you could make the Large Hadron Collider more powerful by covering part of the beam pipe with your thumb.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]

Talk:3257: Beam Pipe

2026-06-17T16:57:41Z

BunsenH:

Ok why did this take so long to be created? [[User:GSLikesCats307|GSLikesCats307]] ([[User talk:GSLikesCats307|talk]]) 12:58, 11 June 2026 (UTC)
:I think it was because explainxkcd was down when this comic was published (agian :/) --[[User:Clarkexckd8|Clarkexckd8]] ([[User talk:Clarkexckd8|talk]]) 13:01, 11 June 2026 (UTC)
::It was like that with the last comic as well. What's causing these outages? [[User:GSLikesCats307|GSLikesCats307]] ([[User talk:GSLikesCats307|talk]]) 13:03, 11 June 2026 (UTC)
::: Maybe it's something with the servers. I have no clue why it took until 12:00 (UTC) to upload though.--[[User:Clarkexckd8|Clarkexckd8]] ([[User talk:Clarkexckd8|talk]]) 13:15, 11 June 2026 (UTC)
::::I'm going to theorise that some third party, out there, is running something that hammers our servers. From the little information the change-logs gives, they're starting it around 22:00 (server time) and it only ends (or people, including the comic-update-BOT, only realise it has ended) at around 12:00 (server time, again).
::::While this inconsiderate thing is happening, everyone else (and probably themselves, if they're running their hammering massivelg in parallel) is finding it ''almost'' impossible to connect, as the back-end is too busy serving the site-database results to the hammerer. (Some edits were made ~05:00ish, the other day. Might have been lucky/persistent to do that. Or hit a rare pause by the bad-actor's efforts.)
::::Probably not a deliberate DDOS, as these other periods of sanity wouldn't be in such a plan by someone. I suggest it's either someone/something doing (or trying to do) a lot of webscraping, without any though to throttling it down to a less disruptive level, or even an intended auto-spammer (getting thwarted by the initial hurdles that protect this site, but their spamming algorithm just keeps trying).
::::And the inconvenience to us mere mortals is as applicable to the comic-upload-BOT. The only difference being that it can (in a way programmed specifically ''not'' to self-defeatingly DDOS the site) just try again, perhaps every half an hour or so, so is more likely to be the first contributor to the site (when there's a new comic still to post, in its backlog) once the data-pummelling has stopped for the day.
::::What can we do about it? Not much. Curse the person who (intentionally or otherwise) did this? But it seems to not involve any traces of activity that aren't purely server-log level, or maybe on the prody servers that we also don't control. With any luck, they'll realise their (unintended) mistake and rethink it. Or just have no more reason to do so. Not very comforting, but the best outcome I can imagine happening easily. [[Special:Contributions/82.132.236.149|82.132.236.149]] 12:53, 12 June 2026 (UTC)

This is probably nitpicking, but covering the opening of a hose doesn't increase the pressure of the stream, it increases flow rate instead, and with it the nozzle velocity. The pressure at the end of a hose is equal to ambient pressure, and the flow rate adjusts itself to achieve this. (At least in sub-sonic conditions that you would normally encounter, though this may not apply to the LHC...) [[Special:Contributions/2A02:590:1404:9301:2CAC:E347:73BF:C11|2A02:590:1404:9301:2CAC:E347:73BF:C11]] 14:30, 11 June 2026 (UTC)
:Yeah, I noticed that... decreasing the diameter should actually decrease the pressure by bernoulli's law, right? [[Special:Contributions/12.159.97.176|12.159.97.176]] 14:31, 11 June 2026 (UTC)
::Yeah I was about to mention that too [[User:GreaterDog6065|GreaterDog6065]] ([[User talk:GreaterDog6065|talk]]) 14:55, 11 June 2026 (UTC)[https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/User:GreaterDog6065 GreaterDog6065] 09:54, 11 June 2026 (CDT)

What if you put your hand in a particle accelerator: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UgKki1tCKI
Also, LHC actually has two adjacent parallel beamlines (or beam pipes) each containing a beam, which travel in opposite directions. Cf. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Large_Hadron_Collider#Design --[[Special:Contributions/134.102.219.31|134.102.219.31]] 12:40, 12 June 2026 (UTC)
:Indeed. And each of the beams has a particle energy of 7 TeV "only", the quoted 14 TeV are the proton-proton collision energy at the intersection points. It is also not true that the LHC has no extraction beam lines: it features two beam dump sections (one for each of the counter-propagating beams) specifically to get rid of the stored particles from the closed orbits (for safety reasons or after the beam quality has degraded too much through scattering). {{unsigned ip|140.181.98.80|12:03, 17 June 2026}}
::I've corrected the stuff about the particle energies and beam dumps. [[User:BunsenH|BunsenH]] ([[User talk:BunsenH|talk]]) 16:57, 17 June 2026 (UTC)

Wasn't there a guy who accidentally stuck his head in a similar collider a while ago? Or was it actually the LHC? [[User:RG|RG]] ([[User talk:RG|talk]]) 02:20, 15 June 2026 (UTC)
:If you mean Anatoli Petrovich Bugorski, he was already mentioned in the article. [[Special:Contributions/82.132.238.93|82.132.238.93]] 11:38, 15 June 2026 (UTC)

3257: Beam Pipe

2026-06-17T16:53:52Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ particle energies

{{comic
| number = 3257
| date = June 10, 2026
| title = Beam Pipe
| image = beam_pipe_2x.png
| imagesize = 309x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'If you keep trying to spray your collaborators with the beam when they're not looking, I'm turning off the ion source and NO one will get to play with the beam!' --Physics's mom
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was found with a Physics Nobel Prize. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
When a liquid is flowing within a tube, the pressure at any point is determined by an equilibrium between the supply pressure and the forces that restrict flow, such as friction with the walls and hydrodynamic effects in the liquid. If the tube is short and the outflow opening is large, the pressure within the tube is close to the exterior pressure (air pressure, in the case of a liquid flowing into air). If the outflow opening is negligible, the pressure within the tube is essentially equal to the pressure of the liquid's supply. If the tube is constructed of an elastic material, it will expand until an equilibrium is reached between the internal pressure and the elastic stretch of the tube... unless the pressure is enough to rupture the tube.

In the case of a hose carrying water, if the exit is fully open, the water pressure near the exit will be moderate: greater than atmospheric pressure, but less than the full pressure of the water supply. The more the exit is restricted, such as by part covering it with a thumb, decreasing the water flow, the closer the pressure near the exit will come to the full pressure of the water supply. (In the limiting case where the exit is fully blocked, the hose will essentially be an extension of the plumbing, and its internal pressure will be that of the water supply, as modified by the gravitational effects of raising or lowering the hose, and the weight of the water). If the hose is elastic (e.g. the usual garden-hose reinforced rubber), it's possible to see it stretch as the nozzle is restricted. Covering it with a thumb, while reducing the water flow, allows the water that does come out to do so at relatively high pressure.

As the {{w|Large Hadron Collider}} ("LHC") can be considered a sort of "pipe" (a beam pipe, as pointed out in the comic title), this comic makes the ridiculous assumption that the same logic applies there — that its beam can be concentrated and redirected by partially covering the end of the beam with a thumb. This wouldn't work in real life: water molecules are moving at low speed and thus do not have sufficient energy to overcome the electrostatic repulsion between their electrons and those of the thumb, forcing them to change path. In contrast the kinetic energy of the particles in the LHC (7 TeV, in the case of protons destined for 14-TeV proton-proton collisions) is far far larger than the repulsion of the thumb. Most particles will pass through unaffected, while those hitting thumb nuclei directly will produce a cascade of new particles similar to those the LHC is intended to produce. This procedure would have to be done at one of the LHC's two [https://home.cern/autopsy-lhc-beam-dump/ beam dump sections], where the contents of the beam are allowed to exit into long steel-encased graphite blocks. Over time, those blocks become dangerously radioactive from the impact of the beam particles. There isn't currently any means to bypass these blocks and allow a person to interact with the beam while the LHC is in operation. This would be complicated by the need of keeping the interior of the LHC at its extremely high vacuum.

While there is no recorded case of a human getting struck by the particle beam at LHC, {{w|Anatoli Bugorski|Anatoli Petrovich Bugorski}} did accidentally hold his head into the proton beam of a 76 GeV (about 180 times less than the energies at the LHC) particle accelerator while trying to repair a faulty part. This had severe but not lethal consequences: the resulting acute radiation sickness caused the affected parts of his face to swell and the skin to flake off, The affected nerves never recovered, leaving the left side of his face paralysed and his left ear deaf. The damage to his brain resulted in several epileptic seizures, but did not affect him otherwise, allowing him to continue his work as a physicist, and at time of publication he was still alive at the age of 82.

Thus while pointless, holding the thumb into the LHC beam for a short time is unlikely to significantly harm anyone trying it... apart from possibly needing to amputate the thumb, if there was enough tissue damage or induced radioactivity. At any rate, this wouldn't work in real life: the relativistic particles would not behave as a liquid.

The title text expands the joke, once more treating the LHC as if it were a hosepipe. Applying the effect above to a hosepipe is a common thing for children to do — often to spray family and friends with the pressurized water. This applies the same logic to the LHC, imagining the mother of "physics" (the science, as opposed to a person) telling off their presumably adult child for "spraying their colleagues with the beam" — something very incomprehensible in real life.

A variety of devices are marketed to increase the pressure of water supplied to them. The {{w|pressure washing|pressure washer}} is a common example; it uses electrical power to add force to the output water. There are also scams based on devices that supposedly increase the output water pressure ''without'' using any externally-provided power, but this is a physical impossibility. The force of the water coming out can't be greater than the force of the water coming in, or a perpetual-motion device could be constructed with the water running in a loop and the added force being tapped to power a generator. At most, the output pressure will be the same as that of the water supply, in the limiting case of zero flow, less any frictional losses within the device.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A picture shows a (partly obscured by the panel) particle accelerator (namely this one being the Large Hadron Collider at CERN). Megan is shown on a stepladder, covering the beam pipe with her thumb. Cueball is shown standing behind the ladder, watching.]
:[Caption below the panel:]
:This year's physics Nobel will go to the scientists who figured out that you could make the Large Hadron Collider more powerful by covering part of the beam pipe with your thumb.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]

3257: Beam Pipe

2026-06-17T16:38:35Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ beam dump

{{comic
| number = 3257
| date = June 10, 2026
| title = Beam Pipe
| image = beam_pipe_2x.png
| imagesize = 309x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'If you keep trying to spray your collaborators with the beam when they're not looking, I'm turning off the ion source and NO one will get to play with the beam!' --Physics's mom
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was found with a Physics Nobel Prize. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
When a liquid is flowing within a tube, the pressure at any point is determined by an equilibrium between the supply pressure and the forces that restrict flow, such as friction with the walls and hydrodynamic effects in the liquid. If the tube is short and the outflow opening is large, the pressure within the tube is close to the exterior pressure (air pressure, in the case of a liquid flowing into air). If the outflow opening is negligible, the pressure within the tube is essentially equal to the pressure of the liquid's supply. If the tube is constructed of an elastic material, it will expand until an equilibrium is reached between the internal pressure and the elastic stretch of the tube... unless the pressure is enough to rupture the tube.

In the case of a hose carrying water, if the exit is fully open, the water pressure near the exit will be moderate: greater than atmospheric pressure, but less than the full pressure of the water supply. The more the exit is restricted, such as by part covering it with a thumb, decreasing the water flow, the closer the pressure near the exit will come to the full pressure of the water supply. (In the limiting case where the exit is fully blocked, the hose will essentially be an extension of the plumbing, and its internal pressure will be that of the water supply, as modified by the gravitational effects of raising or lowering the hose, and the weight of the water). If the hose is elastic (e.g. the usual garden-hose reinforced rubber), it's possible to see it stretch as the nozzle is restricted. Covering it with a thumb, while reducing the water flow, allows the water that does come out to do so at relatively high pressure.

As the {{w|Large Hadron Collider}} ("LHC") can be considered a sort of "pipe" (a beam pipe, as pointed out in the comic title), this comic makes the ridiculous assumption that the same logic applies there — that its beam can be concentrated and redirected by partially covering the end of the beam with a thumb. This wouldn't work in real life: water molecules are moving at low speed and thus do not have sufficient energy to overcome the electrostatic repulsion between their electrons and those of the thumb, forcing them to change path. In contrast the kinetic energy of the particles in the LHC (14 TeV) is far far larger than the repulsion of the thumb. Most particles will pass through unaffected, while those hitting thumb nuclei directly will produce a cascade of new particles similar to those the LHC is intended to produce. This procedure would have to be done at one of the LHC's two [https://home.cern/autopsy-lhc-beam-dump/ beam dump sections], where the contents of the beam are allowed to exit into long steel-encased graphite blocks. Over time, those blocks become dangerously radioactive from the impact of the beam particles. There isn't currently any means to bypass these blocks and allow a person to interact with the beam while the LHC is in operation. This would be complicated by the need of keeping the interior of the LHC at its extremely high vacuum.

While there is no recorded case of a human getting struck by the particle beam at LHC, {{w|Anatoli Bugorski|Anatoli Petrovich Bugorski}} did accidentally hold his head into the proton beam of a 76 GeV (about 180 times less than the energies at the LHC) particle accelerator while trying to repair a faulty part. This had severe but not lethal consequences: the resulting acute radiation sickness caused the affected parts of his face to swell and the skin to flake off, The affected nerves never recovered, leaving the left side of his face paralysed and his left ear deaf. The damage to his brain resulted in several epileptic seizures, but did not affect him otherwise, allowing him to continue his work as a physicist, and at time of publication he was still alive at the age of 82.

Thus while pointless, holding the thumb into the LHC beam for a short time is unlikely to significantly harm anyone trying it... apart from possibly needing to amputate the thumb, if there was enough tissue damage or induced radioactivity. At any rate, this wouldn't work in real life: the relativistic particles would not behave as a liquid.

The title text expands the joke, once more treating the LHC as if it were a hosepipe. Applying the effect above to a hosepipe is a common thing for children to do — often to spray family and friends with the pressurized water. This applies the same logic to the LHC, imagining the mother of "physics" (the science, as opposed to a person) telling off their presumably adult child for "spraying their colleagues with the beam" — something very incomprehensible in real life.

A variety of devices are marketed to increase the pressure of water supplied to them. The {{w|pressure washing|pressure washer}} is a common example; it uses electrical power to add force to the output water. There are also scams based on devices that supposedly increase the output water pressure ''without'' using any externally-provided power, but this is a physical impossibility. The force of the water coming out can't be greater than the force of the water coming in, or a perpetual-motion device could be constructed with the water running in a loop and the added force being tapped to power a generator. At most, the output pressure will be the same as that of the water supply, in the limiting case of zero flow, less any frictional losses within the device.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A picture shows a (partly obscured by the panel) particle accelerator (namely this one being the Large Hadron Collider at CERN). Megan is shown on a stepladder, covering the beam pipe with her thumb. Cueball is shown standing behind the ladder, watching.]
:[Caption below the panel:]
:This year's physics Nobel will go to the scientists who figured out that you could make the Large Hadron Collider more powerful by covering part of the beam pipe with your thumb.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]

878: Model Rail

2026-06-15T19:35:16Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ modelling the Earth

{{comic
| number = 878
| date = March 28, 2011
| title = Model Rail
| image = model rail.png
| titletext = I don't know what's more telling--the number of pages in the Wikipedia talk page argument over whether the 1/87.0857143 scale is called "HO" or "H0", or the fact that within minutes of first hearing of it I had developed an extremely strong opinion on the issue.
}}

==Explanation==
In model rail construction, the {{w|HO scale}} refers to the most popular scale for modeling railroads, in which 3.5 millimeters in the model corresponds to 1 real-world Imperial foot. As the comic suggests, it works out to a ratio of about 1:87.1 (or 3048:35 exactly, which equals 1:87.0857142). In Europe, the scale is defined as exactly 1:87 instead, to avoid references to non-metric measurements.

This comic features [[Cueball]] and his [[:Category:Multiple Cueballs|Cueball-like friend]]. The conversation takes place in Cueball’s basement. Cueball is apparently a less-experienced train modeler, and he tells his friend that he wants to make an HO model layout of his town. However, the more-experienced friend points out that this is a bad idea, due to nesting. To make it a perfectly accurate model, Cueball would have to include a model of his house, which includes his basement, which includes the model. So, he would have to make a model of the model, which will include a smaller model of the model, and so forth. This is illustrated in the comic. Real world examples of nested models include the {{W|Bourton-on-the-Water model village}}, which includes 4 levels of nested models. Artwork that includes a depiction of itself is known as the {{W|Droste effect}}.

At the end of these six nested models ''The Matryoshka limit'' is stated: "It is impossible to nest more than six HO layouts". {{w|Matryoshka doll|Matryoshka dolls}} are toys of Russian origin that can be stacked inside one another. Here, the "Matryoshka limit" is the hard barrier that follows as a result of the nesting. Matter is not infinitely divisible; once one gets to the level of atoms, it is impossibly difficult to go any smaller. The unit shown in the last diagram is the {{w|Angstrom|ångström}}, a very small unit of measurement (1/10000th of a {{w|micrometre}}, 1/10 of a {{w|nanometre}}, 100 {{w|picometre}}s or 10−10 m) which was created when humans started discovering objects on an atomic scale, such as crystal structures or wavelengths. The last nested model looks like the atoms on a surface as seen using a {{w|scanning tunneling microscope}} (STM). If the Earth itself were to be modeled, with an original equatorial diameter of 12,756 km, doing 6 reductions by a factor of 87 would give a sphere of diameter 29.4 micrometres, well within the limits of fabrication methods. A 7th reduction would give a sphere of diameter 338 nm; while it would be possible to create such a sphere, it would be very challenging to give it any features resembling the details of the planet.

The rules of model train layouts reference the 1999 cult classic ''{{w|Fight Club}}'', where the first rule of Fight Club is "do not talk about Fight Club." However, while the club instituted the rule because their activities were morally and legally questionable, the rule in the comic was instituted by friends and family members who were apparently sick of hearing the train enthusiasts talk about model train layouts all the time. The second rule of Fight Club is "you ''do not'' talk about Fight Club", repeated for emphasis, but evidently Cueball and his friend are good enough at following the first rule of model train layouts that they only had to be told once.

The "Philistines" comment is not referring to citizens of ancient {{W|Philistia}} (at least not directly), but rather the philosophy of {{w|Philistinism}}. {{w|Friedrich Nietzsche}} defined a Philistine as someone who is purely negative in how they define style, i.e. they know exactly what they hate and don't really have anything they like. A common stereotype for artists is to refer to anyone who dislikes their work as "Philistines," thus dismissing their criticism as being part of a larger personality defect on the critic's part rather than any particular failing of the artwork in question.

The title text references {{w|HO scale}} and, more specifically, whether it should be spelled with the letter "O" or the number zero (0). Such debates often seem petty to the "layman", yet the people involved in the debates can form ''very'' strong feelings for their side. Randall recognizes "nerdy tendencies" almost immediately when he gets the urge to take a side.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball to the left and his friend, who also looks like Cueball, are standing in the friend's rather large basement, where the celling is held up by six thin columns, and the walls are shown angling in towards a point of perspective, to display how big the room is.]
:Cueball: I want to build a perfect HO-scale (~1/87) model train layout of my town.
:Friend: In your basement? Bad idea. Never make a layout of the area you're in.

:[Zoom in on the two friends without the basement visualized.]
:Cueball: Why not?
:Friend: Because it'd include a little 10" replica of your house.

:[Zoom in on Cueball who takes his hand to his chin.]
:Cueball: So? That's be cool! I'd make tiny replicas of my rooms, my furniture—
:Friend (off-screen): —And your train layout?

:[Beneath this first row of the comic is the zoom-out of how the full model would look in the basement. The town lies beneath some small mountains. There is some water with a bridge over it continuing to the roads going through the city. There is no frame around this section, but instead there follows five zoom-outs, each one going from the friend's house, that proceeds to a circular frame. Within each of these is shown a nested model. Starting to the right of the main model, and then moving down, then left, and then down and right. Each layer has a broken arrow above the model between two vertical lines to indicate the scale, the length being written between the two parts of the arrow. Some foreign objects are also labeled to help understand the scale.]

:[Layer 1, the model with the two friends standing to the left of it.]
:18 m

:[Layer 2, looks exactly as the model, but without the friends.]
:21 cm

:[Layer 3, with a mosquito shown for comparison. It stands over half the model covering the mountains.]
:2.4 mm

:[Layer 4, with a strand of spider silk (labeled) shown for comparison. The silk is much thicker than the roads, almost as thick as the mountains and much longer than the model. But the model still looks fairly much like the original one.]
:28 μm
:Spider web

:[Layer 5, with a cold virus (labeled) shown for comparison. It covers roughly a quarter of the model, taking up the water part of the model. At this level the whole model becomes notably "fuzzy" as individual atoms are discernible, and most of the features apart from the mountain is indiscernible. There may be two viruses. The other would then be to the right of the one in the water but above the model. The label stands between them.]
:320 nm
:Cold virus

:[Layer 6, is simply spheres (atoms) at this point. The mountain near the back is the only noticeable feature, consisting of five atoms jutting out from the surface of atoms, which is by no mean flat.]
:37 Å

:[Beneath these six versions of the model is a caption:]
:The Matryoshka limit:
:It is impossible to nest
:more than six HO layouts

:[Back to the two friends in the basement, still not showing the basement.]
:Cueball: My God.
:Friend: Yeah. It's the second rule of model train layouts: No nesting.

:[Zoom in on the heads of the two friends.]
:Cueball: ...What's the first rule?
:Friend: "Do ''not'' talk about model train layouts." That rule was actually voted in by our friends and families.
:Cueball: Philistines.

==Trivia==
* The city of Bourton-on-the-Water, Gloucestershire, England actually contains {{w|Bourton-on-the-Water model village|such a model}}. Although, it only has 4 nestings, and is built at a larger scale.
* The town of Wimborne Minster, Dorset, England also contains {{w|Wimborne Model Town|such a model}} with only 3 nestings built at 1/10.
* The {{w|Miniatur Wunderland|Miniatur Wunderland in Hamburg (Germany)}}, the biggest model rail construction in the world, contains a 1:7500 version of the Miniatur Wunderland with movable vehicles.
* It should be noted that the day this comic went up, it was then repeatedly referenced in the HO talk page by several people commenting on the arguable triviality of the edit war.
* The comic [[1167: Star Trek into Darkness]] is about a similar debate on Wikipedia.
* Randall later created a series discussing scale-model worlds more generally: [[2411: 1/10,000th Scale World]], [[2412: 1/100,000th Scale World]], and [[2417: 1/1,000th Scale World]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Illustrations of scale]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Recursion]]
[[Category:Fight Club]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]

3257: Beam Pipe

2026-06-15T14:24:50Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ flowing into air

{{comic
| number = 3257
| date = June 10, 2026
| title = Beam Pipe
| image = beam_pipe_2x.png
| imagesize = 309x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'If you keep trying to spray your collaborators with the beam when they're not looking, I'm turning off the ion source and NO one will get to play with the beam!' --Physics's mom
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was found with a Physics Nobel Prize. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
When a liquid is flowing within a tube, the pressure at any point is determined by an equilibrium between the supply pressure and the forces that restrict flow, such as friction with the walls and hydrodynamic effects in the liquid. If the tube is short and the outflow opening is large, the pressure within the tube is close to the exterior pressure (air pressure, in the case of a liquid flowing into air). If the outflow opening is negligible, the pressure within the tube is essentially equal to the pressure of the liquid's supply. If the tube is constructed of an elastic material, it will expand until an equilibrium is reached between the internal pressure and the elastic stretch of the tube... unless the pressure is enough to rupture the tube.

In the case of a hose carrying water, if the exit is fully open, the water pressure near the exit will be moderate: greater than atmospheric pressure, but less than the full pressure of the water supply. The more the exit is restricted, such as by part covering it with a thumb, decreasing the water flow, the closer the pressure near the exit will come to the full pressure of the water supply. (In the limiting case where the exit is fully blocked, the hose will essentially be an extension of the plumbing, and its internal pressure will be that of the water supply, as modified by the gravitational effects of raising or lowering the hose, and the weight of the water). If the hose is elastic (e.g. the usual garden-hose reinforced rubber), it's possible to see it stretch as the nozzle is restricted. Covering it with a thumb, while reducing the water flow, allows the water that does come out to do so at relatively high pressure.

As the {{w|Large Hadron Collider|LHC}} can be considered a sort of "pipe" (a beam pipe, as pointed out in the comic title), this comic makes the ridiculous assumption that the same logic applies there — that its beam can be concentrated and redirected by partially covering the end of the beam with a thumb. This wouldn't work in real life: water molecules are moving at low speed and thus do not have sufficient energy to overcome the electrostatic repulsion between their electrons and those of the thumb, forcing them to change path. In contrast the kinetic energy of the particles in the LHC (14 TeV) is far far larger than the repulsion of the thumb. Most particles will pass through unaffected, while those hitting thumb nuclei directly will produce a cascade of new particles similar to those the LHC is intended to produce.

While there is no recorded case of a human getting struck by the particle beam at LHC, {{w|Anatoli Bugorski|Anatoli Petrovich Bugorski}} did accidentally hold his head into the proton beam of a 76 GeV (about 180 times less than the energies at the LHC) particle accelerator while trying to repair a faulty part. This had severe but not lethal consequences: the resulting acute radiation sickness caused the affected parts of his face to swell and the skin to flake off, The affected nerves never recovered, leaving the left side of his face paralysed and his left ear deaf. The damage to his brain resulted in several epileptic seizures, but did not affect him otherwise, allowing him to continue his work as a physicist, and at time of publication he was still alive at the age of 82.

Thus while pointless, holding the thumb into the LHC beam is unlikely to significantly harm anyone trying it. At any rate, this wouldn't work in real life: the relativistic particles would not behave as a liquid. Also, because the LHC's beam operates in an extremely high vacuum, and the LHC doesn't have any structure to let the beam exit the main accelerator ring, it would be impossible even to test the concept.

The title text expands the joke, once more treating the LHC as if it were a hosepipe. Applying the effect above to a hosepipe is a common thing for children to do — often to spray family and friends with the pressurized water. This applies the same logic to the LHC, imagining the mother of "physics" (the science, as opposed to a person) telling off their presumably adult child for "spraying their colleagues with the beam" — something very incomprehensible in real life.

A variety of devices are marketed to increase the pressure of water supplied to them. The {{w|pressure washing|pressure washer}} is a common example; it uses electrical power to add force to the output water. There are also scams based on devices that supposedly increase the output water pressure ''without'' using any externally-provided power, but this is a physical impossibility. The force of the water coming out can't be greater than the force of the water coming in, or a perpetual-motion device could be constructed with the water running in a loop and the added force being tapped to power a generator. At most, the output pressure will be the same as that of the water supply, in the limiting case of zero flow, less any frictional losses within the device.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A picture shows a (partly obscured by the panel) particle accelerator (namely this one being the Large Hadron Collider at CERN). Megan is shown on a stepladder, covering the beam pipe with her thumb. Cueball is shown standing behind the ladder, watching.]
:[Caption below the panel:]
:This year's physics Nobel will go to the scientists who figured out that you could make the Large Hadron Collider more powerful by covering part of the beam pipe with your thumb.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]

3257: Beam Pipe

2026-06-14T15:21:01Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ physics of pressure in hoses; LHC vacuum

{{comic
| number = 3257
| date = June 10, 2026
| title = Beam Pipe
| image = beam_pipe_2x.png
| imagesize = 309x397px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'If you keep trying to spray your collaborators with the beam when they're not looking, I'm turning off the ion source and NO one will get to play with the beam!' --Physics's mom
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was found with a Physics Nobel Prize. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
When a liquid is flowing within a tube, the pressure at any point is determined by an equilibrium between the supply pressure and the forces that restrict flow, such as friction with the walls and hydrodynamic effects in the liquid. If the tube is short and the outflow opening is large, the pressure within the tube is very low. If the outflow opening is negligible, the pressure within the tube is essentially equal to the pressure of the liquid's supply. If the tube is constructed of an elastic material, it will expand until an equilibrium is reached between the internal pressure and the elastic stretch of the tube... unless the pressure is enough to rupture the tube.

In the case of a hose carrying water, if the exit is fully open, the water pressure near the exit will be moderate: greater than zero, but less than the full pressure of the water supply. The more the exit is restricted, decreasing the water flow, the closer the pressure near the exit will come to the full pressure of the water supply. In the limiting case where the exit is fully blocked, the hose will essentially be an extension of the plumbing, and its internal pressure will be that of the water supply (as modified by the gravitational effects of raising or lowering the hose, and the weight of the water). If the hose is elastic (e.g. the usual garden-hose reinforced rubber), it's possible to see it stretch as the nozzle is restricted.

A variety of devices are marketed to increase the pressure of water supplied to them. The {{w|pressure washing|pressure washer}} is a common example; it uses electrical power to add force to the output water. There are also scams based on devices that supposedly increase the output water pressure ''without'' using any externally-provided power, but this is a physical impossibility. The force of the water coming out can't be greater than the force of the water coming in, or a perpetual-motion device could be constructed with the water running in a loop and the added force being tapped to power a generator. At most, the output pressure will be the same as that of the water supply, in the limiting case of zero flow, less any frictional losses within the device.

As the {{w|Large Hadron Collider|LHC}} can be considered a sort of "pipe" (a beam pipe, as pointed out in the comic title), this comic makes the ridiculous assumption that the same logic applies there, and its beam can be concentrated and redirected by partially covering the end of the beam. This wouldn't work in real life: water molecules are moving at low speed and thus do not have sufficient energy to overcome the electrostatic repulsion between their electrons and those of the thumb, forcing them to change path. In contrast the kinetic energy of the particles in the LHC (14 TeV) is far far larger than the repulsion of the thumb. Most particles will pass through unaffected, while those hitting a thumb nuclei directly will produce a cascade of new particle similar to those the LHC is intended to produce.

While there is no recorded case of a human getting struck by the particle beam at LHC, {{w|Anatoli Bugorski|Anatoli Petrovich Bugorski}} did accidentally hold his head into the proton beam of a 76 GeV (about 180 times less than the energies at the LHC) particle accelerator while trying to repair a faulty part. This had severe but not lethal consequences: during the acute radiation sickness the affected parts of his face swell and the skin was flaking off, and the affected nerves never recovered, leaving his left face paralysed and his left ear deaf. The damage to his brain resulted in several epileptic seizures, but did not affect him otherwise, allowing him to continue his work as a physicist, and at time of publication he was still alive at the age of 82.

Thus while pointless, holding the thumb into the LHC beam is unlikely to significantly harm the anyone trying it. At any rate, this wouldn't work in real life: the relativistic particles would not behave as a liquid. And because the LHC's beam operates in an extremely high vacuum, and the LHC doesn't have any structure to let the beam exit the main accelerator ring, it would be impossible even to test the concept.

The title text expands the joke, once more treating the LHC as if it were a hosepipe. Applying the effect above to a hosepipe is a common thing for children to do — often to spray family and friends with the pressurized water. This applies the same logic to the LHC, imagining the mother of "physics" (the science, as opposed to a person) telling off their presumably adult child for "spraying their colleagues with the beam" — something very incomprehensible in real life.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[A picture shows a (partly obscured by the panel) particle accelerator (namely this one being the Large Hadron Collider at CERN). Megan is shown on a stepladder, covering the beam pipe with her thumb. Cueball is shown standing behind the ladder, watching.]
:[Caption below the panel:]
:This year's physics Nobel will go to the scientists who figured out that you could make the Large Hadron Collider more powerful by covering part of the beam pipe with your thumb.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]

Talk:3111: Artificial Gravity

2026-06-10T14:10:01Z

BunsenH:

Note the motion lines around the main body of the spacecraft, showing that it is also shaking to a much lesser extent. [[Special:Contributions/181.214.218.76|181.214.218.76]] 15:26, 4 July 2025 (UTC)
:That is just Newton's Third Law, which is very often taken into account in space obviously. [[User:Thehydraclone|Thehydraclone]] ([[User talk:Thehydraclone|talk]]) 16:04, 4 July 2025 (UTC)
:: I prefer to think it's using thrusters either side of the main body to slightly oscillate that back and forth, which then translates into the larger movement of the capsule through the joint. [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 08:17, 7 July 2025 (UTC)

Report: Total crew bone mass remains constant. {{unsigned ip|2804:7f0:bf02:c680:390e:8bb5:b4a9:db40|16:05, 4 July 2025}}
: Now you made it sound like some bones have changed owner. Whether intentional or not, very xkcd. --[[User:Coconut Galaxy|Coconut Galaxy]] ([[User talk:Coconut Galaxy|talk]]) 13:28, 5 July 2025 (UTC)
:: "We may have made the change of direction a ''little'' too abrupt..." [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 15:58, 7 July 2025 (UTC)

The spinning idea reminds me of the spin drive from Andy Weir's "Project Hail Mary."[[Special:Contributions/136.47.216.1|136.47.216.1]] 17:34, 4 July 2025 (UTC)

Wait, nothing about the 4th of July today? That's odd. [[Special:Contributions/2601:647:8500:1E09:55BB:EEBB:23EA:178A|2601:647:8500:1E09:55BB:EEBB:23EA:178A]] 23:04, 4 July 2025 (UTC)
: this rocket was clearly sent up mistaken for a firework {{unsigned ip|2600:4040:52f1:300:8c1d:959a:d4c2:80be|14:07, 5 July 2025}}
: Not at all surprising - clicking through [[:Category:Comics from July]] to find the relevant week each year, the only one I can see in twenty years ''directly'' referencing it is [[1858: 4th of July]]; at a stretch, you could suggest that [[285: Wikipedian Protester]] was also specifically timed. More notably, it's the 19th anniversary of [[123: Centrifugal Force]], which feels relevant. - [[User:IMSoP|IMSoP]] ([[User talk:IMSoP|talk]]) 10:00, 7 July 2025 (UTC)

aw, great, "steadily"--[[User:Bb777|me, hi]] ([[User talk:Bb777|talk]]) 03:37, 7 July 2025 (UTC)

This rocket design and the intent to provide artificial gravity to the crew module is similar (but not identical) to the design of the ship in Andy Weir's novel Project Hail Mary, for which the film adaptation's trailer was released on June 30. [[Special:Contributions/24.85.198.95|24.85.198.95]] 16:36, 9 July 2025 (UTC)

Could this possibly be a reference to james bond preferring his drinks "shaken not stirred?" Especially given how the engineers never even considered spinning the capsule, despite the obvious impracticality of having it "shaken not spun," like they had some kind of personal preference. [[User:Ip36|Ip36]] ([[User talk:Ip36|talk]]) 00:02, 10 July 2025 (UTC)
:No obvious Bondian reference (saving for prior centrifugal/centripetal death-traps). And incidentally also interesting to note that stirring is also the ''prefered'' method of mixing, by anyone not solely influenced by Fleming's œuvre. [[Special:Contributions/82.132.236.42|82.132.236.42]] 12:33, 10 July 2025 (UTC)

Woah i got this comic twice in a row from the "random explination" button. What is the chances that, if you click on it, you will get the comic you were already on? Seems maybe not one hundred percent random. --[[User:Kirinhatchi|Kirinhatchi]] ([[User talk:Kirinhatchi|talk]]) 14:00, 10 June 2026 (UTC)
:Assuming random selection, as of this moment, 1 in 3111. Which isn't likely, but unlikely things ''do'' happen occasionally. How many times have you clicked that button in total? One tends to pay no attention to all the times that coincidences ''don't'' happen, and focus on the times that they do come up; there's a bias to our attention. [[User:BunsenH|BunsenH]] ([[User talk:BunsenH|talk]]) 14:10, 10 June 2026 (UTC)

3254: Detector

2026-06-05T18:41:27Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ tweaks... the last paragraph could also stand a rewrite

{{comic
| number = 3254
| date = June 3, 2026
| title = Detector
| image = detector_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = No other experiment has a lower false negative rate.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was detected recently. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
[[Ponytail]] and [[Hairy]] are showing [[Cueball]] various detectors in this room, which include an {{w|electron microscope}} (which showers a target with electrons and images their reflections), an XRF scanner (i.e. "{{w|X-ray fluorescence}}", which hits a target with high-energy X-rays and measures the spectrum of the fluorescence they emit) and a {{w|mass spectrometer}} (which measures the mass-to-charge ratio of ions to determine the proportions of particular isotopes present in a sample).

These are all out of frame, from any comic panel, but the piece of equipment that we see is a machine of indeterminate purpose, simply labeled "Detector" and with the most prominent feature being the words "Detected" and "Not Detected" written in separate lines next to two lights, one above the other, the first of which is glowing green. This, they claim, is their most sensitive detector, with nothing in the subsequent conversation indicating that it is anything other than a reasonably reliable (though also esoteric) piece of scientific equipment.

Normally, detectors have a designated detecting job, such as the aforementioned off-panel devices which can provide complex imagery or a profile of a sample's composition. For example, smoke detectors merely detect the presence or absence of smoke and (usually as a safety device, rather than a piece of scientific equipment), and only need to alert the user if there is smoke identified.

The sensitivity of a detector can vary. [[3249: Neutrino Project|Neutrino detectors]] try to detect neutrinos, but neutrinos are very hard to measure so can only give data for a very low number of the actual neutrinos that could possibly have been measured. Devices being more sensitive means that they can detect (and perhaps quantify) far lower quantities/magnitudes of the targeted phenomena, and/or more of those that might otherwise have been missed.

For the device in this comic, however, "more sensitive" seems instead to mean that it is sensitive to more ''different'' things. To quote Ponytail, it detects "gas, dust, particles, light, radio waves, gamma rays, protons, neutrons, electrons, fields, forces, events, potentials, or states", which runs almost the entire gamut of things that ''might'' be detectable, and leaves little room for there being any situation in which none of the aforementioned items are there to be detected. The constituent particles of the machine itself would be present for detection, and exist in "states" and have "potentials" relative to each other, assuming that the machine is sensitive enough (in the traditional sense) to detect them, and the detection area that it observes includes at least some parts of itself.

Regardless of that, some or all of the wide range of the detectable things are also going to be present, in detectable quantities, in practically ''any'' location that they might feasibly be monitoring, and even if it was capable of discerning nuances (such as relative quantities, differing proportions or even which detectable thing is the most significant presence in any given set of measurements) its output boils down to merely whether it has (or has not) detected ''something'' from its extensive list of detectables. Which, by any reasonable assumption, would seemingly mean that it is only ever going to need to indicate that it has "Detected" things, leaving the possibility that it has "Not Detected" things as an unlikely result to display instead.

Cueball points this out, and Hairy admits that it ''has'' been continuously lit this way ever since they turned it on. Ponytail is audibly shocked in response to Cueball asking what would happen if the light labeled "Not Detected" were to shine. Hairy explains that such a thing would be pretty bad. The presumption being that, if that were to happen, there would have to be no matter, light, forces, etc. within the detector's established range of detection. (Though it could be interpreted as the dectector not working properly, the contextual reactions of those most familiar with it seem to show a faith that the detector is still likely to be faithfully summarising the true status.)

One possible explanation for a scenario that might cause a "Not Detected" result could be a {{w|false vacuum}} decay event which, depending on the particular details of the true vacuum, could alter or overwrite the fundamental laws of physics as we know them. This would indeed be "bad" for, among other things, the persistence of life on Earth. However, in such a scenario the detector itself would presumably also be rendered at least inoperable, and possibly non-existent, with a similar fate befalling any observer who might have been around to witness the changing output.

There might still be an unavoidably built-in uncertainty. [[1132: Frequentists vs. Bayesians]] was a previous comic featuring a more specific detector that tells whether the Sun has gone nova (also a very bad scenario, even if less cosmically extreme), but incorporates some risk of conveying an inaccurate output. (But, again, these people familiar with this device do not seem to feel the need to consider it as potentially inaccurate, like that.)

While the detector presented here is obviously facetious, the comic does allude to a real problem: detectors looking for very rare events - e.g {{w|neutrinoless double beta decay}} - have to be extremely sensitive to detect their target events. Consequently, they may also be triggered by many other things, requiring extensive shielding (e.g. built underground in abandoned mine shafts) to provide any useful data.

The title text states that the machine has a lower {{w|false negative}} rate than any other detector device. If it never has stated a negative (i.e. explicit non-detection, being a different scenario from a power-outage or indicator failure that just causes the Detected light to stop being lit), then it can never have been ''wrong'' about it being negative. It's also possible that the "Not Detected" light is just set up ''never'' to be lit, [[2236: Is it Christmas?|playing the odds]].

It is not made clear to us under what circumstances would legitimately result in a negative state being indicated. Nor, apart from the concerned expectations of Hairy and Ponytail, whether the detector will then necessarily correctly state that. It might still fail to properly respond to the new situation, just continuing to provide an incorrect indication that all is 'normal' (on the assumption that the device both still exists ''and'' functions, under such extraordinary circumstances), and result in a {{w|false positive}} instead. But, for many possible reasons, the chances and consequences of any displayed false positive may easily bear no relation to that of a false negative. i.e, the "Not Detected" light could always be 100% accurate (leading to Hairy's "bad" scenario), yet any given cessation of detections often fails to stop "Detection" from being indicated (being just as "bad" but, as the icing on an already possibly unpalatable cake, also with the Detector being functionally wrong).

==Transcript==
:[Hairy is standing to the right of a large machine labeled "Detector". The front of the machine has two lights, labeled "Detected" and "Not detected". The "detected" light is lit up in green. Ponytail and Cueball walk towards the machine from the left.]
:Ponytail: Over there are our electron microscope, XRF scanner, and mass spectrometer.
:Ponytail: And this is our most sensitive detector.
:Cueball: What does it detect?

:[The next panel zooms in on the detector. Ponytail's voice comes from the left of the panel.]
:Ponytail (off-panel): Lots of stuff.
:Ponytail (off-panel): Gas, dust, particles, light, radio waves, gamma rays, protons, neutrons, electrons, fields, forces, events, potentials, or states.

:[The next panel zooms out. Cueball and Ponytail are standing to the left of the machine, and Hairy on the right.]
:Cueball: I don't understand. Aren't most of those ''always'' present?
:Hairy: Yeah, it's been saying "detected" continuously since we turned it on.

:[Cueball and Ponytail still standing to the left of the machine, and Hairy on the right. Ponytail has her hand on her chin.]
:Cueball: What happens if it says "not detected"?
:Ponytail: Oh gosh.
:Hairy: That would be pretty bad, I think.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Statistics]]

3254: Detector

2026-06-05T14:02:24Z

BunsenH: smoke detectors

{{comic
| number = 3254
| date = June 3, 2026
| title = Detector
| image = detector_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = No other experiment has a lower false negative rate.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was detected recently. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
[[Ponytail]] and [[Hairy]] are showing [[Cueball]] various detectors in this room, which include an {{w|electron microscope}} (which showers a target with electrons and images their reflections), an XRF scanner (i.e. "{{w|X-ray fluorescence}}", which hits a target with high-energy X-rays and measures the spectrum of the fluorescence they emit) and a {{w|mass spectrometer}} (which measures the mass-to-charge ratio of ions to determine the proportions of particular isotopes present in a sample).

These are all out of frame, from any comic panel, but the piece of equipment that we see is a machine of indeterminate purpose, simply labeled "Detector" and with the most prominent feature being the words "Detected" and "Not Detected" written in separate lines next to two lights, one above the other, the first of which is glowing green. This, they claim, is their most sensitive detector, with nothing in the subsequent conversation indicating that it is anything other than a reasonably reliable (though also esoteric) piece of scientific equipment.

Normally, detectors have a designated detecting job, such as the aforementioned off-panel devices which can provide complex imagery or a profile of a sample's composition. For example, smoke detectors merely detect the presence or absence of smoke and (usually as a safety device, rather than a piece of scientific equipment), and only need to alert the user if there is smoke identified.

The sensitivity of a detector can vary. [[3249: Neutrino Project|Neutrino detectors]] try to detect neutrinos, but neutrinos are very hard to measure so can only give data for a very low number of the actual neutrinos that could possibly have been measured. Devices being more sensitive means that they can detect (and perhaps quantify) far lower quantities/magnitudes of the targeted phenomena, and/or more of those that might otherwise have been missed.

For the device in this comic, however, "more sensitive" seems instead to mean that it is sensitive to more ''different'' things. To quote Ponytail, it detects "gas, dust, particles, light, radio waves, gamma rays, protons, neutrons, electrons, fields, forces, events, potentials, or states", which runs almost the entire gamut of things that ''might'' be detectable, and leaves little room for there being any situation in which none of the aforementioned items are there to be detected. The constituent particles of the machine itself would be present for detection, and exist in "states" and have "potentials" relative to each other, assuming that the machine is sensitive enough (in the traditional sense) to detect them, and the detection area that it observes includes at least some parts of itself.

Regardless of that, some or all of the wide range of the detectable things are also going to be present, in detectable quantities, in practically ''any'' location that they might feasibly be monitoring, and even if it was capable of discerning nuances (such as relative quantities, differing proportions or even which detectable thing is the most significant presence in any given set of measurements) its output boils down to merely whether it has (or has not) detected ''something'' from its extensive list of detectables. Which, by any reasonable assumption, would seemingly mean that it is only ever going to need to indicate that it has "Detected" things, leaving the possibility that it has "Not Detected" things as an unlikely result to display instead.

Cueball points this out, and Hairy admits that it ''has'' been continuously lit this way ever since they turned it on. Ponytail is audibly shocked in response to Cueball asking what would happen if the light labeled "Not Detected" were to shine. Hairy explains that such a thing would be pretty bad. The presumption being that, if that were to happen, there would have to be no matter, light, forces, etc. within the detector's established range of detection. (Though it could be interpreted as the dectector not working properly, the contextual reactions of those most familiar with it seem to show a faith that the detector is still likely to be faithfully summarising the true status.)

One possible explanation for a scenario that might cause a "Not Detected" result could be a {{w|false vacuum}} decay event which, depending on the particular details of the true vacuum, could alter or overwrite the fundamental laws of physics as we know them. This would indeed be "bad" for, among other things, the persistence of life on Earth. However, in such a scenario the detector itself would presumably also be rendered at least inoperable, and possibly non-existent, with a similar fate befalling any observer who might have been around to witness the changing output.

There might still be an unavoidably built-in uncertainty. [[1132: Frequentists vs. Bayesians]] was a previous comic featuring a more specific detector that tells whether the Sun has gone nova (also a very bad scenario, even if less cosmically extreme), but incorporates some risk of conveying an inaccurate output. (But, again, these people familiar with this device do not seem to feel the need to consider it as potentially inaccurate, like that.)

While the detector presented here is obviously facetious, the comic does allude to a real problem: detectors looking for very rare events - e.g {{w|neutrinoless double beta decay}} - have to be extremely sensitive to detect their target events. Consequently, they may also be triggered by many other things, requiring extensive shielding (e.g. built underground in abandoned mine shafts) to provide any useful data.

The title text states that the machine has the lowest {{w|false negative}} rate out of any other machine. If it never has stated a negative (i.e. explicit non-detection, being a different scenario from a power-outage or indicator failure that just causes the Detected light to stop being lit) then it can never have been ''wrong'' about it being negative. There is also the potentially independent notion that the "Not Detected" light is just set up ''never'' to be lit, [[2236: Is it Christmas?|playing the odds]].

It is not made clear to us under what circumstances would legitimately result in a negative state being indicated. Nor, apart from the concerned expectations of Hairy and Ponytail, whether the detector will then necessarily correctly state that. It might still fail to properly respond to the new situation, just continuing to provide an incorrect indication that all is 'normal' (on the assumption that the device both still exists ''and'' functions, under such extraordinary circumstances), and result in a {{w|false positive}} instead. But, for many possible reasons, the chances and consequences of any displayed false positive may easily bear no relation to that of a false negative. i.e, the "Not Detected" light could always be 100% accurate (leading to Hairy's "bad" scenario), yet any given cessation of detections often fails to stop "Detection" from being indicated (being just as "bad" but, as the icing on an already possibly unpalatable cake, also with the Detector being functionally wrong).

==Transcript==
:[Hairy is standing to the right of a large machine labeled "Detector". The front of the machine has two lights, labeled "Detected" and "Not detected". The "detected" light is lit up in green. Ponytail and Cueball walk towards the machine from the left.]
:Ponytail: Over there are our electron microscope, XRF scanner, and mass spectrometer.
:Ponytail: And this is our most sensitive detector.
:Cueball: What does it detect?

:[The next panel zooms in on the detector. Ponytail's voice comes from the left of the panel.]
:Ponytail (off-panel): Lots of stuff.
:Ponytail (off-panel): Gas, dust, particles, light, radio waves, gamma rays, protons, neutrons, electrons, fields, forces, events, potentials, or states.

:[The next panel zooms out. Cueball and Ponytail are standing to the left of the machine, and Hairy on the right.]
:Cueball: I don't understand. Aren't most of those ''always'' present?
:Hairy: Yeah, it's been saying "detected" continuously since we turned it on.

:[Cueball and Ponytail still standing to the left of the machine, and Hairy on the right. Ponytail has her hand on her chin.]
:Cueball: What happens if it says "not detected"?
:Ponytail: Oh gosh.
:Hairy: That would be pretty bad, I think.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Statistics]]

3249: Neutrino Project

2026-06-05T03:04:35Z

BunsenH: Undo revision 414261 by 2601:644:8184:F2F0:B83B:55B7:7D4A:8D3E (talk) rv vandalism

{{comic
| number = 3249
| date = May 22, 2026
| title = Neutrino Project
| image = neutrino_project_2x.png
| imagesize = 324x471px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We definitely put the pool in a mine for shielding. It was absolutely not to hide it from the funding people.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by a solar neutrino. Don't remove this notice too soon. In particular, the statement comparing the cost of a pool with the cost of a detector needs to be substantiated or removed.}}

A {{w|neutrino}} is a type of subatomic particle that interacts extremely rarely with matter. In nearly all cases, neutrinos pass through objects, regardless of density or composition, with no effects whatsoever unless there are {{What If|73|a lot of them}}. For instance, about [https://icecube.wisc.edu/news/press-releases/2017/11/first-look-at-how-earth-stops-high-energy-neutrinos-in-their-tracks/ 100 trillion neutrinos pass through your body every second] to no noticeable effect.

However, there is a very small chance that a neutrino will collide with any material, including water, which has the advantage of being transparent to the light that occurs due to {{w|photon}}s being produced by that interaction. Neutrinos can thus be detected by constructing a large pool of water, shielded from as many other particles and radiations as possible, and carefully monitoring it for the small flashes of light that occur when a neutrino does interact with one of the many water molecules within the pool. {{w|Photomultiplier tubes}} are used to assist in detecting these very faint and infrequent flashes and reveal the possible nature (and direction) of the interactions that caused them.

The comic jokes that these detectors were not constructed with this purpose in mind. Instead, [[Cueball]] and [[Ponytail]], the organizers of this project, obtained funding for a "neutrino project" and then embezzled these funds for a {{w|Party#Pool_party|pool party}}, likely primarily to buy the large swimming pool seen in the panel. Supposedly, they only then realize that the pool could be repurposed as an actual neutrino detector. It is unclear what they had claimed to be building with the funding they somehow obtained. Given that they didn't know how a neutrino detector worked, it may be that the money was to find out how to build the detector, though such preliminary research would probably be far less expensive than the actual construction, and the budget wouldn't make sense. Through their own curiosity, they have then inadvertently ended up still somehow achieving their job!

It is unclear how large the pool in the comic really is. The {{w|Super-Kamiokande}} detector in Japan, one of the world’s largest and most well-known neutrino detectors, holds over 50,000 tons of water. This is approximately 20 times the water capacity of {{w|Olympic-size swimming pool}}s. The only statement made about the water capacity in the swimming pool is "huge", which is not a precise measurement of volume or mass{{Citation needed}}. The pool appears to be between 10 and 20 meters in diameter. While the surface of the pool seems to be at most half as large as that of an Olympic-sized pool, its depth could be approximately the same, since it seems to safely allow jumps from an approximately 1 m high platform. A regular pool of this appearance would be expected to hold less water than an Olympic-sized one, and certainly much less than would be required for an effective neutrino detector. Since the bottom of the pool is not visible, the physicists ''might'' just have built a pool with an appropriate volume by making it extremely deep. Assuming a diameter of 20 m and therefore a surface area of approximately 314 m2, the pool would need to be approximately 159 m deep. Constructing such a pool would be even more expensive than building a neutrino detector{{acn}}, thanks to the large depth. It's more likely that the pool simply isn't circular with such a small diameter. The small size of the pool may not necessarily be a problem in the context of the cartoon: the final report to the funding agency would simply conclude "Would work, but we need a larger pool for the next one."

The title text elaborates on why the pool was suitable for a neutrino detector. In real life, these detectors must be heavily shielded from all other particle interactions that might drown out neutrino interactions. This generally requires them to be deep underground (like {{w|Deep Underground Neutrino Experiment|this}} and {{w|Sudbury Neutrino Observatory|this}} and {{w|Super-Kamiokande|this}}), so a surface-level pool would obviously be unsuitable for that purpose. Randall implies that the pool was built in a deep mine in order to prevent it from being noticed by the people responsible for funding the project, due to them having misused the funding money. This could fulfill the shielding requirement, but is a humorously excessive strategy for hiding a swimming pool from a small group of people.

==Transcript==
:[There is a large pool with a curved edge at the bottom of the panel, with a diving board and several stickfigures in and around it. Ponytail and Cueball are talking in the pool; two characters with relatively indistinct hair are in the water either side of them, passing a beachball between themselves; a Cueball has somersaulted off the diving board in a 'cannonball'-like jump; a Danish and a Ponytail with a drink are walking along the outside of the pool.]

: Ponytail in pool: How much trouble do you think we'll be in when they find out we used the grant money to throw a huge pool party instead?
: Cueball: We could argue that we '''''did''''' build a neutrino detector.
: Cueball: There's a lot of water here. A solar neutrino will probably interact with it at '''''some''''' point.
: Ponytail: ...Wait. Actually, if we got some photomultiplier tubes...

:[Caption below comic:]
:How the neutrino detector was invented

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

3254: Detector

2026-06-04T20:32:06Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ "false-negative" is an adjective phrase in this context, and might be hyphenated, but osm "false positive" is an adjective+noun and is not hyphenated

3254: Detector

2026-06-04T14:29:34Z

BunsenH: rv redundancy caused by expansion and rearrangement

3254: Detector

2026-06-04T04:31:20Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ busted

3254: Detector

2026-06-04T04:28:12Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ self-referencing

3246: Speedrun

2026-06-02T00:26:21Z

BunsenH: Undo revision 414122 by YZ100 (talk) The problematic statement is still there.

{{comic
| number = 3246
| date = May 15, 2026
| title = Speedrun
| image = speedrun_2x.png
| imagesize = 288x343px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Usain Bolt holds the world record in the 100 meter speedrun.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a BOSTON DYNAMICS SPEEDRUNNING BOT. Don't remove this notice too soon. In particular, the statement which appears to claim that listening to music would be banned because of devices transmitting data needs to be rewritten or supported. Music could be played on a device that doesn't transmit data.}}
{{w|Speedrunning}} is the sport of completing a {{w|video game}} or a goal within a game (for example, completing the main story) as fast as possible. [https://www.speedrun.com/ Speedrun.com], is a popular leaderboard aggregator for speedrunners.

Apparently, [[Cueball]]'s world-record setting attempt at some achievement was deleted from Speedrun.com because of the music he was listening to at the time. [[Megan]] makes the natural assumption that this was because the submission violated copyright on the music in question. It is common for video streamers to include a music 'bed', which can cause copyright issues if they have not taken care that their selections are cleared for use in this way. However, it turns out that his attempt was removed for being 'tool-assisted'. This is a pun on the word 'tool'.

A {{w|tool-assisted speedrun}} (or TAS for short) is a type of speedrun where supplementary tools are used to manipulate inputs frame-by-frame to perfect a run. Such tools are mostly used for experimenting with new strategies or finding areas where a time can be optimized, but it is possible to cheat a run by passing off a tool-assisted run as a normal speedrun.

''{{w|Lateralus}}'' and ''{{w|Ænima}}'' are albums by the band {{w|Tool (band)|Tool}} (who would be considered 'third-party' if they had no direct relationship to the game). Cueball is apparently considered to have got "assistance" from listening to Tool. In real life, a speedrun would be unlikely to be removed based on the music one is listening to while completing it. It could, though, be thought of as a concentration aid, or similar to using a {{w|metronome}}, which could be a [https://www.reddit.com/r/speedrun/s/ODqJcAWcKg controversial topic] if the game one is playing requires some sort of rhythm or precision where it would be useful.

The comic may be referencing {{w|Alex Honnold}}’s ascent of the {{w|Taipei 101}} tower, during which he listened to Tool. The comic was posted exactly 25 years after the ''Lateralus'' album was released.

The title text is another pun, this time on the word "speedrun". {{w|Usain Bolt}}'s world record-setting 100-meter dash record is a "speedrun" in the sense that it is literally a speedy run, and also an attempt by someone to complete a task as fast as possible. It is very common for internet personalities to say they are 'speedrunning' when they are doing a task quickly, even when completely unrelated to gaming (e.g. [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/sqjRfF2cYoE speedrunning petting a cat]). The notion of such a record being classified as a legitimate speedrun isn't farfetched as Speedrun.com has some leaderboards for [https://www.speedrun.com/series/IRL In Real Life] records. The use of "speedrun" to refer to an actual fast run may be considered to be a case of [[3123: Canon]].

In road races like {{w|marathon}}s, wearing technical devices is severely limited. For example, according to Book C2.1 rule 6.3.2 of [https://worldathletics.org/about-iaaf/documents/book-of-rules Book of Rules of World Athletics] they are not allowed to transmit any data. Under rule 6.3.2 CD, radio and similar devices are not allowed, so it would be very hard to find device which is allowed for speedrunning a marathon while listening to Lateralus and/or Ænima as most devices that are able to play audio would probably have functions similar to CD and/or radio{{acn}} (at least in serious competitions, where athletes are checked for wearing earphones — amateurs get some leeway and can even carry their mobile phones). Also even if it was allowed athletes wouldn't want to carry any additional weight to be able to listen to music, as even [https://www.aol.com/sports/super-shoes-sebastian-sawe-redefined-145653498.html reducing weight of shoes] can significantly improve your time, so any audio play back device would add weight which pro athletes would want to avoid.

It is possible that speedrunning was on [[Randall]]'s mind due to the recent social media trend of {{w|Scientology speedrunning}}, in which someone attempts to get as deep as they can into a building belonging to the {{w|Church of Scientology}} before being kicked out. In addition, a marathon race was recently {{w|Marathon#World records and_world's best|completed in under two hours}} for the first time (in competition conditions), and {{w|Beijing_E-Town_Half-Marathon#2026_results|robotic competitors}} also beat an established human half-marathon world record (ironically, the best fully autonomous robots being slower than the one being partially human-assisted).

Randall has referred to bizarre speedruns before in [[744: Walkthrough]] and [[3148: 100% All Achievements]]

==Transcript==

:[Cueball is sitting at a desk with a laptop, typing on it. Megan is standing behind him.]
:Cueball: Aw man, Speedrun.com removed my world record just because I listened to Lateralus and Ænima to get in the flow.
:Megan: Oh, a copyright thing?
:Cueball: No, they don't allow Tool-assisted speedruns.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Puns]]

3252: Ancestral Genomes

2026-05-30T14:28:59Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ end sentence

{{comic
| number = 3252
| date = May 29, 2026
| title = Ancestral Genomes
| image = ancestral_genomes_2x.png
| imagesize = 299x416px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = SUGGESTIONS FOR FUTURE RESEARCH: No further research is needed as it is frankly none of our business.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was DELETED TO RESPECT THE COMIC’S PRIVACY. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A {{w|genotype}} is the complete genetic makeup of an individual, i.e. all of its genes. In humans, genotypes are almost always inherited from an individual’s parents; the two parents’ genotypes combine during sexual reproduction to form the genotype of the child. {{w|mutation|Mutations}} do occur, where parts of the DNA change randomly in a way that gives rise to a new genotype, and [https://www.cbc.ca/radio/quirks/october-21-2017-1.4363723/how-many-mutant-genes-does-a-person-have-1.4363741 each human has about 60 such mutations, on average,] out of about 20,000 genes. However, most mutations are "silent", i.e. not causing any visible changes. Depending on the behavior of the mutation, it may spread throughout a population, or disappear again, or end up only being present in a certain fraction of the population. Either way, when studying a genotype, it is ''exceedingly rare'' to not arise through sexual intercourse, and impossible to spread throughout the population without it. As modern-day genetics researchers, [[Megan]] and [[Cueball]] should definitely know this fact. Randall has talked about the subject of genetics and sex [[830|before]].

Currently in the United States, topics around sex are at least partially considered taboo. This taboo most strictly covers depictions of sex and nudity in media, which are usually the domain of pornography and less mainstream art forms (e.g. nude photography). Megan defending themselves as not being “weirdos” suggests that she in fact does not want to break the taboo. In academic science however, such topics are generally part of regular scientific discussion, including depictions and descriptions that would be considered offensive in other circumstances. For example, Wikimedia Commons contains [https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Human_sexual_activity many depictions of sexual intercourse] for scientific and educational purposes. While some researchers, like the ones depicted in the comic, might be offended by such “lewd” contents, most would regard them well as long as they further the research on the topic at hand. Real-world biologists or geneticists would most likely not be offended by these issues, as sexual reproduction is a common or even predominant topic in both fields. Furthermore, the obscenity of the topic (genetic distributions affected by sexual reproduction) is very low in comparison to fields that deal with intercourse directly. This view seems to be shared by the off-screen commenter in the comic.

What is more problematic, and also addressed by the researcher’s comments, is the privacy of the individuals in the population under examination. Namely, using such data, it might be possible to figure out who had intercourse with whom, possibly reducing the timeframe to within less than a year based on the offspring’s age. However, since the analysis depicted likely takes place over many generations within a population, and is done on historical data, it is likely that the vast majority of the people whose genomes were analyzed are no longer alive. This is supported by the description of the population as “ancestral”. Beyond a certain point, even private data pertaining to deceased people is no longer considered sensitive, as it becomes the subject of history. The only problematic part is the ancestral information for living individuals, which is indeed worthy of protection—but not for the reasons given.

The title text alludes to the fact that most scientific papers contain a section suggesting future research avenues. This is done in the hope that other researchers will pick up where the authors have left off, or to announce the author’s own intentions for follow-up work. However, in this case, Megan and Cueball are both averse to the idea of future research, since as established they don’t think it’s appropriate to do so.

Presenting outlandish or plain bad/incorrect research has been a common topic for XKCD comics, such as in [[3129: Archaeology Research]] and [[3000: Experimental Astrophysics]].

If the researcher had access to the time machine from [[3251: Time Machine Conversation|the previous page]], they would not need to rely on techniques such as admixture.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are shown, with Megan using a pointer stick to point at a diagram on a poster. The diagram features a top-down tree structure.]
:Megan: Our admixture analysis showed that these genotypes arose in the ancestral population almost entirely through sexual intercourse.
:Megan: Upon realizing this, we of course promptly deleted all our data.
:Off-screen voice: What? Why??
:Megan: We're not '''''weirdos!'''''
:Megan: Jeez, give these people some privacy!

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Sex]]

3252: Ancestral Genomes

2026-05-30T14:28:29Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ slight rephrasing for precision

{{comic
| number = 3252
| date = May 29, 2026
| title = Ancestral Genomes
| image = ancestral_genomes_2x.png
| imagesize = 299x416px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = SUGGESTIONS FOR FUTURE RESEARCH: No further research is needed as it is frankly none of our business.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was DELETED TO RESPECT THE COMIC’S PRIVACY. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A {{w|genotype}} is the complete genetic makeup of an individual, i.e. all of its genes. In humans, genotypes are almost always inherited from an individual’s parents; the two parents’ genotypes combine during sexual reproduction to form the genotype of the child. {{w|mutation|Mutations}} do occur, where parts of the DNA change randomly in a way that gives rise to a new genotype, and [https://www.cbc.ca/radio/quirks/october-21-2017-1.4363723/how-many-mutant-genes-does-a-person-have-1.4363741 each human has about 60 such mutations, on average,] out of about 20,000 genes. However, most mutations are "silent", i.e. not causing any visible changes. Depending on the behavior of the mutation, it may spread throughout a population, or disappear again, or end up only being present in a certain fraction of the population. Either way, when studying a genotype, it is ''exceedingly rare'' to not arise through sexual intercourse, and impossible to spread throughout the population without it. As modern-day genetics researchers, [[Megan]] and [[Cueball]] should definitely know this fact. Randall has talked about the subject of genetics and sex [[830|before]]

Currently in the United States, topics around sex are at least partially considered taboo. This taboo most strictly covers depictions of sex and nudity in media, which are usually the domain of pornography and less mainstream art forms (e.g. nude photography). Megan defending themselves as not being “weirdos” suggests that she in fact does not want to break the taboo. In academic science however, such topics are generally part of regular scientific discussion, including depictions and descriptions that would be considered offensive in other circumstances. For example, Wikimedia Commons contains [https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Human_sexual_activity many depictions of sexual intercourse] for scientific and educational purposes. While some researchers, like the ones depicted in the comic, might be offended by such “lewd” contents, most would regard them well as long as they further the research on the topic at hand. Real-world biologists or geneticists would most likely not be offended by these issues, as sexual reproduction is a common or even predominant topic in both fields. Furthermore, the obscenity of the topic (genetic distributions affected by sexual reproduction) is very low in comparison to fields that deal with intercourse directly. This view seems to be shared by the off-screen commenter in the comic.

What is more problematic, and also addressed by the researcher’s comments, is the privacy of the individuals in the population under examination. Namely, using such data, it might be possible to figure out who had intercourse with whom, possibly reducing the timeframe to within less than a year based on the offspring’s age. However, since the analysis depicted likely takes place over many generations within a population, and is done on historical data, it is likely that the vast majority of the people whose genomes were analyzed are no longer alive. This is supported by the description of the population as “ancestral”. Beyond a certain point, even private data pertaining to deceased people is no longer considered sensitive, as it becomes the subject of history. The only problematic part is the ancestral information for living individuals, which is indeed worthy of protection—but not for the reasons given.

The title text alludes to the fact that most scientific papers contain a section suggesting future research avenues. This is done in the hope that other researchers will pick up where the authors have left off, or to announce the author’s own intentions for follow-up work. However, in this case, Megan and Cueball are both averse to the idea of future research, since as established they don’t think it’s appropriate to do so.

Presenting outlandish or plain bad/incorrect research has been a common topic for XKCD comics, such as in [[3129: Archaeology Research]] and [[3000: Experimental Astrophysics]].

If the researcher had access to the time machine from [[3251: Time Machine Conversation|the previous page]], they would not need to rely on techniques such as admixture.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are shown, with Megan using a pointer stick to point at a diagram on a poster. The diagram features a top-down tree structure.]
:Megan: Our admixture analysis showed that these genotypes arose in the ancestral population almost entirely through sexual intercourse.
:Megan: Upon realizing this, we of course promptly deleted all our data.
:Off-screen voice: What? Why??
:Megan: We're not '''''weirdos!'''''
:Megan: Jeez, give these people some privacy!

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Sex]]

3252: Ancestral Genomes

2026-05-30T14:20:14Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ we are all mutants

{{comic
| number = 3252
| date = May 29, 2026
| title = Ancestral Genomes
| image = ancestral_genomes_2x.png
| imagesize = 299x416px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = SUGGESTIONS FOR FUTURE RESEARCH: No further research is needed as it is frankly none of our business.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was DELETED TO RESPECT THE COMIC’S PRIVACY. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A {{w|genotype}} is the complete genetic makeup of an individual, i.e. all of its genes. In humans, genotypes are almost always inherited from an individual’s parents; the two parents’ genotypes combine during sexual reproduction to form the genotype of the child. {{w|mutation|Mutations}} do occur, where parts of the DNA change randomly in a way that gives rise to a new genotype, and [https://www.cbc.ca/radio/quirks/october-21-2017-1.4363723/how-many-mutant-genes-does-a-person-have-1.4363741 each human has an average of about 60 such mutations] out of about 20,000 genes. However, most mutations are "silent", i.e. not causing any visible changes. Depending on the behavior of the mutation, it may spread throughout a population, or disappear again, or end up only being present in a certain fraction of the population. Either way, when studying a genotype, it is ''exceedingly rare'' to not arise through sexual intercourse, and impossible to spread throughout the population without it. As modern-day genetics researchers, [[Megan]] and [[Cueball]] should definitely know this fact. Randall has talked about the subject of genetics and sex [[830|before]]

Currently in the United States, topics around sex are at least partially considered taboo. This taboo most strictly covers depictions of sex and nudity in media, which are usually the domain of pornography and less mainstream art forms (e.g. nude photography). Megan defending themselves as not being “weirdos” suggests that she in fact does not want to break the taboo. In academic science however, such topics are generally part of regular scientific discussion, including depictions and descriptions that would be considered offensive in other circumstances. For example, Wikimedia Commons contains [https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Human_sexual_activity many depictions of sexual intercourse] for scientific and educational purposes. While some researchers, like the ones depicted in the comic, might be offended by such “lewd” contents, most would regard them well as long as they further the research on the topic at hand. Real-world biologists or geneticists would most likely not be offended by these issues, as sexual reproduction is a common or even predominant topic in both fields. Furthermore, the obscenity of the topic (genetic distributions affected by sexual reproduction) is very low in comparison to fields that deal with intercourse directly. This view seems to be shared by the off-screen commenter in the comic.

What is more problematic, and also addressed by the researcher’s comments, is the privacy of the individuals in the population under examination. Namely, using such data, it might be possible to figure out who had intercourse with whom, possibly reducing the timeframe to within less than a year based on the offspring’s age. However, since the analysis depicted likely takes place over many generations within a population, and is done on historical data, it is likely that the vast majority of the people whose genomes were analyzed are no longer alive. This is supported by the description of the population as “ancestral”. Beyond a certain point, even private data pertaining to deceased people is no longer considered sensitive, as it becomes the subject of history. The only problematic part is the ancestral information for living individuals, which is indeed worthy of protection—but not for the reasons given.

The title text alludes to the fact that most scientific papers contain a section suggesting future research avenues. This is done in the hope that other researchers will pick up where the authors have left off, or to announce the author’s own intentions for follow-up work. However, in this case, Megan and Cueball are both averse to the idea of future research, since as established they don’t think it’s appropriate to do so.

Presenting outlandish or plain bad/incorrect research has been a common topic for XKCD comics, such as in [[3129: Archaeology Research]] and [[3000: Experimental Astrophysics]].

If the researcher had access to the time machine from [[3251: Time Machine Conversation|the previous page]], they would not need to rely on techniques such as admixture.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are shown, with Megan using a pointer stick to point at a diagram on a poster. The diagram features a top-down tree structure.]
:Megan: Our admixture analysis showed that these genotypes arose in the ancestral population almost entirely through sexual intercourse.
:Megan: Upon realizing this, we of course promptly deleted all our data.
:Off-screen voice: What? Why??
:Megan: We're not '''''weirdos!'''''
:Megan: Jeez, give these people some privacy!

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Sex]]

3252: Ancestral Genomes

2026-05-30T03:36:48Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ change to w'pedia links

{{comic
| number = 3252
| date = May 29, 2026
| title = Ancestral Genomes
| image = ancestral_genomes_2x.png
| imagesize = 299x416px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = SUGGESTIONS FOR FUTURE RESEARCH: No further research is needed as it is frankly none of our business.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was DELETED TO RESPECT THE COMIC’S PRIVACY. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A {{w|genotype}} is the complete genetic makeup of an individual, i.e. all of its genes. In humans, genotypes are almost always inherited from an individual’s parents; the two parents’ genotypes combine during sexual reproduction to form the genotype of the child. Only in very rare circumstances does a genotype arise by genetic {{w|mutation}}, where parts of the DNA change randomly in a way that gives rise to a new genotype. Depending on the behavior of the mutation, it may spread throughout a population, or disappear again, or end up only being present in a certain fraction of the population. Either way, when studying a genotype, it is ''exceedingly rare'' to not arise through sexual intercourse, and impossible to spread throughout the population without it. As modern-day genetics researchers, [[Megan]] and [[Cueball]] should definitely know this fact. Randall has talked about the subject of genetics and sex [[830|before]]

Currently in the United States, topics around sex are at least partially considered taboo. This taboo most strictly covers depictions of sex and nudity in media, which are usually the domain of pornography and less mainstream art forms (e.g. nude photography). Megan defending themselves as not being “weirdos” suggests that she in fact does not want to break the taboo. In academic science however, such topics are generally part of regular scientific discussion, including depictions and descriptions that would be considered offensive in other circumstances. For example, Wikimedia Commons contains [https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Human_sexual_activity many depictions of sexual intercourse] for scientific and educational purposes. While some researchers, like the ones depicted in the comic, might be offended by such “lewd” contents, most would regard them well as long as they further the research on the topic at hand. Real-world biologists or geneticists would most likely not be offended by these issues, as sexual reproduction is a common or even predominant topic in both fields. Furthermore, the obscenity of the topic (genetic distributions affected by sexual reproduction) is very low in comparison to fields that deal with intercourse directly. This view seems to be shared by the off-screen commenter in the comic.

What is more problematic, and also addressed by the researcher’s comments, is the privacy of the individuals in the population under examination. Namely, using such data, it might be possible to figure out who had intercourse with whom, possibly reducing the timeframe to within less than a year based on the offspring’s age. However, since the analysis depicted likely takes place over many generations within a population, and is done on historical data, it is likely that the vast majority of the people whose genomes were analyzed are no longer alive. This is supported by the description of the population as “ancestral”. Beyond a certain point, even private data pertaining to deceased people is no longer considered sensitive, as it becomes the subject of history. The only problematic part is the ancestral information for living individuals, which is indeed worthy of protection—but not for the reasons given.

The title text alludes to the fact that most scientific papers contain a section suggesting future research avenues. This is done in the hope that other researchers will pick up where the authors have left off, or to announce the author’s own intentions for follow-up work. However, in this case, Megan and Cueball are both averse to the idea of future research, since as established they don’t think it’s appropriate to do so.

Presenting outlandish or plain bad/incorrect research has been a common topic for XKCD comics, such as in [[3129: Archaeology Research]] and [[3000: Experimental Astrophysics]].

If the researcher had access to the time machine from [[3251: Time Machine Conversation|the previous page]], they would not need to rely on techniques such as admixture.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are shown, with Megan using a pointer stick to point at a diagram on a poster. The diagram features a top-down tree structure.]
:Megan: Our admixture analysis showed that these genotypes arose in the ancestral population almost entirely through sexual intercourse.
:Megan: Upon realizing this, we of course promptly deleted all our data.
:Off-screen voice: What? Why??
:Megan: We're not '''''weirdos!'''''
:Megan: Jeez, give these people some privacy!

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Sex]]

Talk:3246: Speedrun

2026-05-30T00:21:46Z

BunsenH:

F1RST! I actually found the comic before Theusafbot did. [[User:RadiantRainwing|K9Dragon23, or RainWingSquares (talk)]] ([[User talk:RadiantRainwing|talk]]) 01:01, 16 May 2026 (UTC)
:I also did a crappy first draft explanation. [[User:RadiantRainwing|K9Dragon23, or RainWingSquares (talk)]] ([[User talk:RadiantRainwing|talk]]) 01:03, 16 May 2026 (UTC)
:: There goes the speedrun records [[User:King Pando|King Pando]] ([[User talk:King Pando|talk]]) 01:38, 16 May 2026 (UTC)
L0l, my br0ther and father g0t me in0 t00l [[Special:Contributions/216.25.182.141|216.25.182.141]] 02:59, 16 May 2026 (UTC)
:aradia megido? --[[User:Utdtutyabthsc|Utdtutyabthsc]] ([[User talk:Utdtutyabthsc|talk]]) 03:24, 18 May 2026 (UTC)

Published on the 25th Anniversary of the song release right? {{unsigned ip|74.102.150.16|05:14, 16 May 2026 (UTC)}}

wasn't there an olympic runner who requested a song to be played with his preferred beats per minute, only to be rejected out of a concern for an unfair advantage? [[Special:Contributions/84.225.125.43|84.225.125.43]] 07:10, 16 May 2026 (UTC)

Wow! I needed this explanation. I knew nothing of speedruns, nor Tool. Usain Bolt I had heard of.--[[Special:Contributions/2A00:23CC:D248:8901:79C8:645F:821A:1BA3|2A00:23CC:D248:8901:79C8:645F:821A:1BA3]] 08:37, 16 May 2026 (UTC)

Cueball is such a tool. [[Special:Contributions/2A02:2455:1960:4000:2C98:4FB4:B92F:33B4|2A02:2455:1960:4000:2C98:4FB4:B92F:33B4]] 10:07, 16 May 2026 (UTC)

Shouldn't they remove Usain Bolt'd record as a TAS?--[[Special:Contributions/94.73.49.13|94.73.49.13]]
:No, he was the one that did the record, not a programmed computer. A robot that was programmed to perform a series of specific inputs that make it run really fast would be a TAS. --'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al|DollarStoreBa'al]][[User_talk:DollarStoreBa'al|'''''converse''''']] 15:26, 16 May 2026 (UTC)

Funny, I use Pneuma as my coding focus music.... [[Special:Contributions/2A0A:EF40:2D3:201:A4CA:7332:48F3:6525|2A0A:EF40:2D3:201:A4CA:7332:48F3:6525]] 12:27, 16 May 2026 (UTC)

Unfamiliar with Tool or their music portfolio, I assumed those were the usernames of other speedrunners Cueball had analyzed to develop his technique, which made the punchline seem very harsh. [[User:RegularSizedGuy|RegularSizedGuy]] ([[User talk:RegularSizedGuy|talk]]) 00:06, 17 May 2026 (UTC)

Just a sidenote, to someone else's page edit about allowable device uses in marathons, I'm most familiar with a branch of cycle sport where earphones/etc are banned (mainly, I believe) for safety reasons (reduces proper awareness of traffic, etc), but also no speakers. Unsure of the original intent, could be a mix of road-awareness, being a public nuisance, the pacing issue as most linked to the comic; also, only recently have something like mini bluetooth speakers been available, perhaps to fit in a spare bottle-cage... Though that's not to say that I haven't seen someone ride a hill-climb with a boom-box bungeed to the rear-carrier, as a novelty/performative challenge.
 You ''are'' allowed to have a mobile phone with you, if you so wish, but you shouldn't be using it hands-free and (while not strictly illegal, unlike for motor vehicle drivers) it would be impractical and unsafe to be using one 'hand-on' whilst actually competing, and the benefits of being 'remotely paced'/otherwise encouraged would be against the spirit (if not the letter) of the rules however you did it.
 For {{w|Road Records Association|yet another}} related sporting body, of my acquaintence, there are specific restrictions against 'live' on-the-move communications of any kind. (Not even allowed to do direct rolling support-vehicle assistance, like they aparently do in Road Racing.)
 That said, there's nothing against a 'Cateye'/’Garmin'-style cyclocomputer presenting data (road speed, pedal revs, heartrate, watts, estimated Vmax, etc) that can be used to try to sustain the optimal ride (rather than... well, just trying as hard as you feel you jeed to try, for the duration of the event, be that a minute or two up a short, steep hill or twenty-four hours of doing ~500 miles of roads across and around a large area). I couldn't rule out there being a flashing/blinking LED/LCD solution to providing metronomic assistance ''without'' being an otyerwise impermissable audible cue. [[Special:Contributions/82.132.238.107|82.132.238.107]] 13:19, 17 May 2026 (UTC)

Is this a [https://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2026/05/09 Stephan Pastis] guest strip? [[User:These Are Not The Comments You Are Looking For|These Are Not The Comments You Are Looking For]] ([[User talk:These Are Not The Comments You Are Looking For|talk]]) 01:35, 18 May 2026 (UTC)

Oh yeah I used to do speedrunning. It was fun! I did 1-4 Any% in ULTRAKILL [[User:RG|RG]] ([[User talk:RG|talk]]) 03:48, 18 May 2026 (UTC)

The current text seems to be saying that marathon runners can't listen to music because devices aren't allowed to transmit data. This doesn't make sense, since music could be played from a device that can't transmit. Is it that marathon runners can't listen to music, full stop? [[User:BunsenH|BunsenH]] ([[User talk:BunsenH|talk]]) 14:25, 18 May 2026 (UTC)
: So far as I can tell, it's just wrong. IAAF rules allow the use of data-transmitting devices such as heart rate sensors, body temperature sensors, etc., provided they can't communicate to ''another person''. Meanwhile, UK Athletics rules permit the use of headphones on closed roads (though they ban them on non-closed roads and for cross-country races). Of course, individual organisers may impose more stringent restrictions, so it's possible that they're ''de facto'' banned, at least for competitive athletes. [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 15:37, 18 May 2026 (UTC)
::The relevant document of the Rules and Regulations of World Athletics can be found [https://worldathletics.org/download/download?filename=8ad6b6e0-12a5-44e7-a449-2de401c719ef.pdf&urlslug=C1.1%20%26%20C2.1%20-%20Competition%20Rules%20%26%20Technical%20Rules here] and the passage is on page 6. "6.3 For the purpose of this Rule, the following examples shall be considered assistance, and are therefore not allowed:" / "6.3.2 Possession or use of video recorders, radios, CD, radio transmitters, mobile phone or similar devices in the competition area." Since I'm very, very not a long-distance runner, I don't see how these devices would be considered assistance, especially since their functions are very different. But if CD (players?!) are banned, I suppose that other kinds of music players might be considered "similar devices". And I don't know what proportion of marathons follow that particular set of rules, or have other rules that similarly ban sound-playing devices. [[User:BunsenH|BunsenH]] ([[User talk:BunsenH|talk]]) 00:21, 30 May 2026 (UTC)
Reminds me of Ian doing a "getting a coffee" speedrun: https://youtu.be/Yefaz8kvs94 [[User:AdmiralMemo|Admiral Memo]] ([[User talk:AdmiralMemo|talk]]) 17:53, 18 May 2026 (UTC)

3249: Neutrino Project

2026-05-29T13:59:02Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ taking one comma away fractured the sentence; use superscript for exponents

{{comic
| number = 3249
| date = May 22, 2026
| title = Neutrino Project
| image = neutrino_project_2x.png
| imagesize = 324x471px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We definitely put the pool in a mine for shielding. It was absolutely not to hide it from the funding people.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by a solar neutrino. Don't remove this notice too soon. In particular, the statement comparing the cost of a pool with the cost of a detector needs to be substantiated or removed.}}

A {{w|neutrino}} is a type of subatomic particle that interacts extremely rarely with matter. In nearly all cases, neutrinos pass through objects, regardless of density or composition, with no effects whatsoever unless there are {{What If|73|a lot of them}}. For instance, about [https://icecube.wisc.edu/news/press-releases/2017/11/first-look-at-how-earth-stops-high-energy-neutrinos-in-their-tracks/ 100 trillion neutrinos pass through your body every second] to no noticeable effect.

However, there is a very small chance that a neutrino will collide with any material, including water, which has the advantage of being transparent to the light that occurs due to {{w|photon}}s being produced by that interaction. Neutrinos can thus be detected by constructing a large pool of water, shielded from as many other particles and radiations as possible, and carefully monitoring it for the small flashes of light that occur when a neutrino does interact with one of the many water molecules within the pool. {{w|Photomultiplier tubes}} are used to assist in detecting these very faint and infrequent flashes and reveal the possible nature (and direction) of the interactions that caused them.

The comic jokes that these detectors were not constructed with this purpose in mind. Instead, [[Cueball]] and [[Ponytail]], the organizers of this project, obtained funding for a "neutrino project" and then embezzled these funds for a {{w|Party#Pool_party|pool party}}, likely primarily to buy the large swimming pool seen in the panel. Supposedly, they only then realize that the pool could be repurposed as an actual neutrino detector. It is unclear what they had claimed to be building with the funding they somehow obtained. Given that they didn't know how a neutrino detector worked, it may be that the money was to find out how to build the detector, though such preliminary research would probably be far less expensive than the actual construction, and the budget wouldn't make sense. Through their own curiosity, they have then inadvertently ended up still somehow achieving their job!

It is unclear how large the pool in the comic really is. The {{w|Super-Kamiokande}} detector in Japan, one of the world’s largest and most well-known neutrino detectors, holds over 50,000 tons of water. This is approximately 20 times the water capacity of {{w|Olympic-size swimming pool}}s. The only statement made about the water capacity in the swimming pool is "huge", which is not a precise measurement of volume or mass{{Citation needed}}. The pool appears to be between 10 and 20 meters in diameter. While the surface of the pool seems to be at most half as large as that of an Olympic-sized pool, its depth could be approximately the same, since it seems to safely allow jumps from an approximately 1 m high platform. A regular pool of this appearance would be expected to hold less water than an Olympic-sized one, and certainly much less than would be required for an effective neutrino detector. Since the bottom of the pool is not visible, the physicists ''might'' just have built a pool with an appropriate volume by making it extremely deep. Assuming a diameter of 20 m and therefore a surface area of approximately 314 m2, the pool would need to be approximately 159 m deep. Constructing such a pool would be even more expensive than building a neutrino detector{{acn}}, thanks to the large depth. It's more likely that the pool simply isn't circular with such a small diameter. The small size of the pool may not necessarily be a problem in the context of the cartoon: the final report to the funding agency would simply conclude "Would work, but we need a larger pool for the next one."

The title text elaborates on why the pool was suitable for a neutrino detector. In real life, these detectors must be heavily shielded from all other particle interactions that might drown out neutrino interactions. This generally requires them to be deep underground (like {{w|Deep Underground Neutrino Experiment|this}} and {{w|Sudbury Neutrino Observatory|this}} and {{w|Super-Kamiokande|this}}), so a surface-level pool would obviously be unsuitable for that purpose. Randall implies that the pool was built in a deep mine in order to prevent it from being noticed by the people responsible for funding the project, due to them having misused the funding money. This could fulfill the shielding requirement, but is a humorously excessive strategy for hiding a swimming pool from a small group of people.

==Transcript==
:[There is a large pool with a curved edge at the bottom of the panel, with a diving board and several stickfigures in and around it. Ponytail and Cueball are talking in the pool; two characters with relatively indistinct hair are in the water either side of them, passing a beachball between themselves; a Cueball has somersaulted off the diving board in a 'cannonball'-like jump; a Danish and a Ponytail with a drink are walking along the outside of the pool.]

: Ponytail in pool: How much trouble do you think we'll be in when they find out we used the grant money to throw a huge pool party instead?
: Cueball: We could argue that we '''''did''''' build a neutrino detector.
: Cueball: There's a lot of water here. A solar neutrino will probably interact with it at '''''some''''' point.
: Ponytail: ...Wait. Actually, if we got some photomultiplier tubes...

:[Caption below comic:]
:How the neutrino detector was invented

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

3249: Neutrino Project

2026-05-26T14:09:59Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ budget?

{{comic
| number = 3249
| date = May 22, 2026
| title = Neutrino Project
| image = neutrino_project_2x.png
| imagesize = 324x471px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We definitely put the pool in a mine for shielding. It was absolutely not to hide it from the funding people.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by a solar neutrino. Don't remove this notice too soon. In particular, the statement comparing the cost of a pool with the cost of a detector needs to be substantiated or removed.}}

A {{w|neutrino}} is a type of subatomic particle that interacts extremely rarely with matter. In nearly all cases, neutrinos pass through objects, regardless of density or composition, with no effects whatsoever unless there are {{What If|73|a lot of them}}. For instance, about [https://icecube.wisc.edu/news/press-releases/2017/11/first-look-at-how-earth-stops-high-energy-neutrinos-in-their-tracks/ 100 trillion neutrinos pass through your body every second] to no noticeable effect.

However, there is a very small chance that a neutrino will collide with any material, including water, which has the advantage of being transparent to the light that occurs due to {{w|photon}}s being produced by that interaction. Neutrinos can thus be detected by constructing a large pool of water, shielded from as many other particles and radiations as possible, and carefully monitoring it for the small flashes of light that occur when a neutrino does interact with one of the many water molecules within the pool. {{w|Photomultiplier tubes}} are used to assist in detecting these very faint and infrequent flashes and reveal the possible nature (and direction) of the interactions that caused them.

The comic jokes that these detectors were not constructed with this purpose in mind. Instead, [[Cueball]] and [[Ponytail]], the organizers of this project, obtained funding for a "neutrino project" and then embezzled these funds for a {{w|Party#Pool_party|pool party}}, likely primarily to buy the large swimming pool seen in the panel. Supposedly, they only then realize that the pool could be repurposed as an actual neutrino detector. It is unclear what, exactly, they had claimed to be building with the funding they somehow obtained. Given that they didn't know how a neutrino detector worked, it may be that the money was to find out how to build the detector, though such preliminary research would probably be far less expensive than the actual construction, and the budget wouldn't make sense. Through their own curiosity, they have then inadvertently ended up still somehow achieving their job!

It is unclear how large the pool in the comic really is. The {{w|Super-Kamiokande}} detector in Japan, one of the world’s largest and most well-known neutrino detectors, holds over 50,000 tons of water. This is approximately 20 times the water capacity of {{w|Olympic-size swimming pool}}s. The only statement made about the water capacity in the swimming pool is "huge", which is not a precise measurement of volume or mass{{Citation needed}}. The pool appears to be between 10 and 20 meters in diameter. While the surface of the pool seems to be at most half as large as that of an Olympic-sized pool, its depth could be approximately the same, since it seems to safely allow jumps from an approximately 1 m high platform. A regular pool of this appearance would be expected to hold less water than an Olympic-sized one, and certainly much less than would be required for an effective neutrino detector. Since the bottom of the pool is not visible, the physicists ''might'' just have built a pool with an appropriate volume by making it extremely deep. Assuming a diameter of 20 m and therefore a surface area of approximately 314 m², the pool would need to be approximately 159 m deep. Constructing such a pool would be even more expensive than building a neutrino detector{{acn}}, thanks to the large depth. It's more likely that the pool simply isn't circular with such a small diameter. The small size of the pool may not necessarily be a problem in the context of the cartoon: the final report to the funding agency would simply conclude "Would work, but we need a larger pool for the next one."

The title text elaborates on why the pool was suitable for a neutrino detector. In real life, these detectors must be heavily shielded from all other particle interactions that might drown out neutrino interactions. This generally requires them to be deep underground (like {{w|Deep Underground Neutrino Experiment|this}} and {{w|Sudbury Neutrino Observatory|this}} and {{w|Super-Kamiokande|this}}), so a surface-level pool would obviously be unsuitable for that purpose. Randall implies that the pool was built in a deep mine in order to prevent it from being noticed by the people responsible for funding the project, due to them having misused the funding money. This could fulfill the shielding requirement, but is a humorously excessive strategy for hiding a swimming pool from a small group of people.

==Transcript==
:[There is a large pool with a curved edge at the bottom of the panel, with a diving board and several stickfigures in and around it. Ponytail and Cueball are talking in the pool; two characters with relatively indistinct hair are in the water either side of them, passing a beachball between themselves; a Cueball has somersaulted off the diving board in a 'cannonball'-like jump; a Danish and a Ponytail with a drink are walking along the outside of the pool.]

: Ponytail in pool: How much trouble do you think we'll be in when they find out we used the grant money to throw a huge pool party instead?
: Cueball: We could argue that we '''''did''''' build a neutrino detector.
: Cueball: There's a lot of water here. A solar neutrino will probably interact with it at '''''some''''' point.
: Ponytail: ...Wait. Actually, if we got some photomultiplier tubes...

:[Caption below comic:]
:How the neutrino detector was invented

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

3249: Neutrino Project

2026-05-25T14:25:42Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ Now that the depth has been corrected to a value a full order of magnitude smaller, I'm not sure if the pool cost really is greater than a detector cost.

{{comic
| number = 3249
| date = May 22, 2026
| title = Neutrino Project
| image = neutrino_project_2x.png
| imagesize = 324x471px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We definitely put the pool in a mine for shielding. It was absolutely not to hide it from the funding people.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by a solar neutrino. Don't remove this notice too soon. In particular, the statement comparing the cost of a pool with the cost of a detector needs to be substantiated or removed.}}

A {{w|neutrino}} is a type of subatomic particle that extremely rarely interacts with matter. In nearly all cases, neutrinos pass through objects, regardless of density or composition, with no effects whatsoever unless there are {{What If|73|a lot of them}}. For instance, about [https://icecube.wisc.edu/news/press-releases/2017/11/first-look-at-how-earth-stops-high-energy-neutrinos-in-their-tracks/ 100 trillion neutrinos pass through your body every second] to no noticeable effect.

However, there is a very small chance that a neutrino will collide with any material, including water, which has the advantage of being transparent to the light that occurs due to that interaction. Neutrinos can thus be detected by constructing a large pool of water, shielded from as many other particles and radiations as possible, and carefully monitoring it for the small flashes of light that occur when a neutrino does interact with one of the many water molecules within the pool. {{w|Photomultiplier tubes}} are used to assist in detecting these very faint and infrequent flashes and reveal the possible nature (and direction) of the interactions that caused them.

The comic jokes that these detectors were not constructed with this purpose in mind. Instead, [[Cueball]] and [[Ponytail]], the organizers of this project, obtained funding for a “neutrino project” and then embezzled these funds for a pool party, likely primarily to buy the large swimming pool seen in the panel. They supposedly only then realize that the pool could be repurposed as an actual neutrino detector. It is unclear what, exactly, they had claimed to be building with the funding they somehow obtained. Probably given they didn't know how a neutrino detector worked the money was to find out how to build the detector - Though artistically enough if that was what the money was for, then given they managed to figure out how to build a neutrino detector, they did still somehow achieve their job!

It is unclear how large the pool in the comic really is. The {{w|Super-Kamiokande}} detector in Japan, one of the world’s largest and most well-known neutrino detectors, holds over 50,000 tons of water. This is approximately 20 times the water capacity of {{w|Olympic-size swimming pool}}s. The only statement made about the water capacity in the swimming pool is “huge”, which is not a precise measurement of volume or mass{{Citation needed}}. The pool appears to be between 10 and 20 meters in diameter. While the surface of the pool seems to be at most half as large as that of an olympic-sized pool, its depth could be approximately the same, since it seems to safely allow jumps from an approximately 1 m high platform. Therefore, a regular pool of this appearance would be expected to hold less water than an olympic-sized one, and certainly much less than would be required for an effective neutrino detector. However, since the bottom of the pool is not visible, the physicists ''might'' just have built a pool with an appropriate volume by making it extremely deep. Assuming a diameter of 20 m and therefore a surface area of approximately 314 m², the pool would need to be approximately 159 m deep. Constructing such a pool would be even more expensive than building a neutrino detector{{acn}}, thanks to the large depth. It's more likely that the pool simply isn't circular with such a small diameter. The problem that the pool is too small is not a problem in the context of the cartoon. The final report to the funding agency would simply conclude "Would work, but we need a larger pool for the next one."

The title text elaborates on why the pool was suitable for a neutrino detector. In real life, these detectors must be heavily shielded from all other particle interactions that might drown out neutrino interactions. This generally requires them to be deep underground (like {{w|Deep Underground Neutrino Experiment|this}} and {{w|Sudbury Neutrino Observatory|this}} and {{w|Super-Kamiokande|this}}), so a surface-level pool would obviously be unsuitable for that purpose. Randall implies that the pool was built in a deep mine in order to prevent it from being noticed by the people responsible for funding the project, due to them having misused the funding money. which could fulfill the shielding requirement but is a humorously excessive strategy for hiding a swimming pool from a small group of people - Particulary as there are many more discreet ways of wasting fund money than a massive pool party, so if they were concerned about being found they could have just been more subtle.

==Transcript==
:[There is a large pool with a curved edge at the bottom of the panel, with a diving board and several stickfigures in and around it. Ponytail and Cueball are talking in the pool; two characters with relatively indistinct hair are in the water either side of them, passing a beachball between themselves; a Cueball has somersaulted off the diving board in a 'cannonball'-like jump; a Danish and a Ponytail with a drink are walking along the outside of the pool.]

: Ponytail in pool: How much trouble do you think we'll be in when they find out we used the grant money to throw a huge pool party instead?
: Cueball: We could argue that we '''''did''''' build a neutrino detector.
: Cueball: There's a lot of water here. A solar neutrino will probably interact with it at '''''some''''' point.
: Ponytail: ...Wait. Actually, if we got some photomultiplier tubes...

:[Caption below comic:]
:How the neutrino detector was invented

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

3249: Neutrino Project

2026-05-25T14:19:58Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ nonbreaking thin spaces

{{comic
| number = 3249
| date = May 22, 2026
| title = Neutrino Project
| image = neutrino_project_2x.png
| imagesize = 324x471px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We definitely put the pool in a mine for shielding. It was absolutely not to hide it from the funding people.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by a solar neutrino. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A {{w|neutrino}} is a type of subatomic particle that extremely rarely interacts with matter. In nearly all cases, neutrinos pass through objects, regardless of density or composition, with no effects whatsoever unless there are {{What If|73|a lot of them}}. For instance, about [https://icecube.wisc.edu/news/press-releases/2017/11/first-look-at-how-earth-stops-high-energy-neutrinos-in-their-tracks/ 100 trillion neutrinos pass through your body every second] to no noticeable effect.

However, there is a very small chance that a neutrino will collide with any material, including water, which has the advantage of being transparent to the light that occurs due to that interaction. Neutrinos can thus be detected by constructing a large pool of water, shielded from as many other particles and radiations as possible, and carefully monitoring it for the small flashes of light that occur when a neutrino does interact with one of the many water molecules within the pool. {{w|Photomultiplier tubes}} are used to assist in detecting these very faint and infrequent flashes and reveal the possible nature (and direction) of the interactions that caused them.

The comic jokes that these detectors were not constructed with this purpose in mind. Instead, [[Cueball]] and [[Ponytail]], the organizers of this project, obtained funding for a “neutrino project” and then embezzled these funds for a pool party, likely primarily to buy the large swimming pool seen in the panel. They supposedly only then realize that the pool could be repurposed as an actual neutrino detector. It is unclear what, exactly, they had claimed to be building with the funding they somehow obtained. Probably given they didn't know how a neutrino detector worked the money was to find out how to build the detector - Though artistically enough if that was what the money was for, then given they managed to figure out how to build a neutrino detector, they did still somehow achieve their job!

It is unclear how large the pool in the comic really is. The {{w|Super-Kamiokande}} detector in Japan, one of the world’s largest and most well-known neutrino detectors, holds over 50,000 tons of water. This is approximately 20 times the water capacity of {{w|Olympic-size swimming pool}}s. The only statement made about the water capacity in the swimming pool is “huge”, which is not a precise measurement of volume or mass{{Citation needed}}. The pool appears to be between 10 and 20 meters in diameter. While the surface of the pool seems to be at most half as large as that of an olympic-sized pool, its depth could be approximately the same, since it seems to safely allow jumps from an approximately 1 m high platform. Therefore, a regular pool of this appearance would be expected to hold less water than an olympic-sized one, and certainly much less than would be required for an effective neutrino detector. However, since the bottom of the pool is not visible, the physicists ''might'' just have built a pool with an appropriate volume by making it extremely deep. Assuming a diameter of 20 m and therefore a surface area of approximately 314 m², the pool would need to be approximately 159 m deep. Constructing such a pool would be even more expensive than building a neutrino detector{{Citation needed}}, thanks to the large depth. It's more likely that the pool simply isn't circular with such a small diameter. The problem that the pool is too small is not a problem in the context of the cartoon. The final report to the funding agency would simply conclude "Would work, but we need a larger pool for the next one."

The title text elaborates on why the pool was suitable for a neutrino detector. In real life, these detectors must be heavily shielded from all other particle interactions that might drown out neutrino interactions. This generally requires them to be deep underground (like {{w|Deep Underground Neutrino Experiment|this}} and {{w|Sudbury Neutrino Observatory|this}} and {{w|Super-Kamiokande|this}}), so a surface-level pool would obviously be unsuitable for that purpose. Randall implies that the pool was built in a deep mine in order to prevent it from being noticed by the people responsible for funding the project, due to them having misused the funding money. which could fulfill the shielding requirement but is a humorously excessive strategy for hiding a swimming pool from a small group of people - Particulary as there are many more discreet ways of wasting fund money than a massive pool party, so if they were concerned about being found they could have just been more subtle.

==Transcript==
:[There is a large pool with a curved edge at the bottom of the panel, with a diving board and several stickfigures in and around it. Ponytail and Cueball are talking in the pool; two characters with relatively indistinct hair are in the water either side of them, passing a beachball between themselves; a Cueball has somersaulted off the diving board in a 'cannonball'-like jump; a Danish and a Ponytail with a drink are walking along the outside of the pool.]

: Ponytail in pool: How much trouble do you think we'll be in when they find out we used the grant money to throw a huge pool party instead?
: Cueball: We could argue that we '''''did''''' build a neutrino detector.
: Cueball: There's a lot of water here. A solar neutrino will probably interact with it at '''''some''''' point.
: Ponytail: ...Wait. Actually, if we got some photomultiplier tubes...

:[Caption below comic:]
:How the neutrino detector was invented

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

3249: Neutrino Project

2026-05-23T14:14:20Z

BunsenH: /* Transcript */ switch the order to make it a little clearer that we're not talking about a drink and a Danish *pastry*

{{comic
| number = 3249
| date = May 22, 2026
| title = Neutrino Project
| image = neutrino_project_2x.png
| imagesize = 324x471px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We definitely put the pool in a mine for shielding. It was absolutely not to hide it from the funding people.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by a solar neutrino. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A {{w|neutrino}} is a type of subatomic particle that extremely rarely interacts with matter. In nearly all cases, neutrinos pass through objects, regardless of density or composition, with no effects whatsoever unless there are so {{What If|73|many of them}}. For instance, about [https://icecube.wisc.edu/news/press-releases/2017/11/first-look-at-how-earth-stops-high-energy-neutrinos-in-their-tracks/ 100 trillion neutrinos pass through your body every second] to no noticeable effect.

However, there is a very small chance that a neutrino will collide with any material, including water, which has the advantage of being transparent to the light that occurs due to that interaction. Neutrinos can thus be detected by constructing a large pool of water, shielded from as many other particles and radiations as possible, and carefully monitoring it for the small flashes of light that occur when a neutrino does interact with one of the many water molecules within the pool. {{w|Photomultiplier tubes}} are used to assist in detecting these very faint and infrequent flashes and reveal the possible nature (and direction) of the interactions that caused them.

The comic jokes that these detectors were not constructed with this purpose in mind. Instead, [[Cueball]] and [[Ponytail]], the organizers of this project, obtained funding for a “neutrino project” and then embezzled these funds for a pool party, likely primarily to buy the large swimming pool seen in the panel. They supposedly only then realize that the pool could be repurposed as an actual neutrino detector. (It is unclear what, exactly, they had claimed to be building with the funding they somehow obtained.)

It is unclear how large the pool in the comic really is. The {{w|Super-Kamiokande}} detector in Japan, one of the world’s largest and most well-known neutrino detectors, holds over 50,000 tons of water. This is approximately 20 times the water capacity of {{w|Olympic-size swimming pool}}s. The only statement made about the water capacity in the swimming pool is “huge”, which is not a precise measurement of volume or mass.{{Citation needed}} The pool appears to be between 10 and 20 meters in diameter. While the surface of the pool seems to be at most half as large as that of an olympic-sized pool, its depth could be approximately the same, since it seems to safely allow jumps from an approximately 1m high platform. Therefore, a regular pool of this appearance would be expected to hold less water than an olympic-sized one, and certainly much less than would be required for an effective neutrino detector. However, since the bottom of the pool is not visible, the physicists ''might'' just have built a pool with an appropriate volume by making it extremely deep. Assuming a diameter of 20m and therefore a surface area of approximately 314m², the pool would need to be approximately 1582m deep. Constructing such a pool would be even more expensive than building a neutrino detector{{Citation needed}}, thanks to the large depth. It's more likely that the pool simply isn't circular with such a small diameter.

The title text elaborates on why the pool was suitable for a neutrino detector. In real life, these detectors must be heavily shielded from all other particle interactions that might drown out neutrino interactions. This generally requires them to be deep underground (like {{w|Deep Underground Neutrino Experiment|this}} and {{w|Sudbury Neutrino Observatory|this}} and {{w|Super-Kamiokande|this}}), so a surface-level pool would obviously be unsuitable for that purpose. Randall implies that the pool was built in a deep mine in order to prevent it from being noticed by the people responsible for funding the project, which could fulfill the shielding requirement but is a humorously excessive strategy for hiding a swimming pool from a small group of people.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript| This transcript was written by a pool party attendee. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[There is a large pool with a curved edge at the bottom of the panel, with a diving board and several stickfigures in and around it. Ponytail and Cueball are talking in the pool, two hairy Kidballs are passing a ball, a Kidball is jumping of the diving board, and a Danish and a Ponytail with a drink are walking along the outside of the pool.]

: Ponytail in pool: How much trouble do you think we'll be in when they find out we used the grant money to throw a huge pool party instead?
: Cueball: We could argue that we '''''did''''' build a neutrino detector.
: Cueball: There's a lot of water here. A solar neutrino will probably interact with it at '''''some''''' point.
: Ponytail: ...Wait. Actually, if we got some photomultiplier tubes...

:[Caption below comic:]
:How the neutrino detector was invented

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Kidball]]

3249: Neutrino Project

2026-05-23T14:04:57Z

BunsenH: /* Transcript */ don't assume circular

{{comic
| number = 3249
| date = May 22, 2026
| title = Neutrino Project
| image = neutrino_project_2x.png
| imagesize = 324x471px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We definitely put the pool in a mine for shielding. It was absolutely not to hide it from the funding people.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by a solar neutrino. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A {{w|neutrino}} is a type of subatomic particle that extremely rarely interacts with matter. In nearly all cases, neutrinos pass through objects, regardless of density or composition, with no effects whatsoever unless there are so {{What If|73|many of them}}. For instance, about [https://icecube.wisc.edu/news/press-releases/2017/11/first-look-at-how-earth-stops-high-energy-neutrinos-in-their-tracks/ 100 trillion neutrinos pass through your body every second] to no noticeable effect.

However, there is a very small chance that a neutrino will collide with any material, including water, which has the advantage of being transparent to the light that occurs due to that interaction. Neutrinos can thus be detected by constructing a large pool of water, shielded from as many other particles and radiations as possible, and carefully monitoring it for the small flashes of light that occur when a neutrino does interact with one of the many water molecules within the pool. {{w|Photomultiplier tubes}} are used to assist in detecting these very faint and infrequent flashes and reveal the possible nature (and direction) of the interactions that caused them.

The comic jokes that these detectors were not constructed with this purpose in mind. Instead, [[Cueball]] and [[Ponytail]], the organizers of this project, obtained funding for a “neutrino project” and then embezzled these funds for a pool party, likely primarily to buy the large swimming pool seen in the panel. They supposedly only then realize that the pool could be repurposed as an actual neutrino detector. (It is unclear what, exactly, they had claimed to be building with the funding they somehow obtained.)

It is unclear how large the pool in the comic really is. The {{w|Super-Kamiokande}} detector in Japan, one of the world’s largest and most well-known neutrino detectors, holds over 50,000 tons of water. This is approximately 20 times the water capacity of {{w|Olympic-size swimming pool}}s. The only statement made about the water capacity in the swimming pool is “huge”, which is not a precise measurement of volume or mass.{{Citation needed}} The pool appears to be between 10 and 20 meters in diameter. While the surface of the pool seems to be at most half as large as that of an olympic-sized pool, its depth could be approximately the same, since it seems to safely allow jumps from an approximately 1m high platform. Therefore, a regular pool of this appearance would be expected to hold less water than an olympic-sized one, and certainly much less than would be required for an effective neutrino detector. However, since the bottom of the pool is not visible, the physicists ''might'' just have built a pool with an appropriate volume by making it extremely deep. Assuming a diameter of 20m and therefore a surface area of approximately 314m², the pool would need to be approximately 1582m deep. Constructing such a pool would be even more expensive than building a neutrino detector{{Citation needed}}, thanks to the large depth. It's more likely that the pool simply isn't circular with such a small diameter.

The title text elaborates on why the pool was suitable for a neutrino detector. In real life, these detectors must be heavily shielded from all other particle interactions that might drown out neutrino interactions. This generally requires them to be deep underground (like {{w|Deep Underground Neutrino Experiment|this}} and {{w|Sudbury Neutrino Observatory|this}} and {{w|Super-Kamiokande|this}}), so a surface-level pool would obviously be unsuitable for that purpose. Randall implies that the pool was built in a deep mine in order to prevent it from being noticed by the people responsible for funding the project, which could fulfill the shielding requirement but is a humorously excessive strategy for hiding a swimming pool from a small group of people.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript| This transcript was written by a pool party attendee. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[There is a large pool with a curved edge at the bottom of the panel, with a diving board and several stickfigures in and around it. Ponytail and Cueball are talking in the pool, two hairy Kidballs are passing a ball, a Kidball is jumping of the diving board, and a Ponytail with a drink and a Danish are walking along the outside of the pool.]

: Ponytail in pool: How much trouble do you think we'll be in when they find out we used the grant money to throw a huge pool party instead?
: Cueball: We could argue that we '''''did''''' build a neutrino detector.
: Cueball: There's a lot of water here. A solar neutrino will probably interact with it at '''''some''''' point.
: Ponytail: ...Wait. Actually, if we got some photomultiplier tubes...

:[Caption below comic:]
:How the neutrino detector was invented

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Kidball]]

3249: Neutrino Project

2026-05-22T23:28:28Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ assumptions appear to be false

{{comic
| number = 3249
| date = May 22, 2026
| title = Neutrino Project
| image = neutrino_project_2x.png
| imagesize = 324x471px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We definitely put the pool in a mine for shielding. It was absolutely not to hide it from the funding people.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by a solar neutrino. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A {{w|neutrino}} is a type of subatomic particle that extremely rarely interacts with matter. In nearly all cases, neutrinos pass through objects, regardless of density or composition, with no effects whatsoever. For instance, about [https://icecube.wisc.edu/news/press-releases/2017/11/first-look-at-how-earth-stops-high-energy-neutrinos-in-their-tracks/ 100 trillion neutrinos pass through your body every second] to no noticeable effect.

However, there is a very small chance that a neutrino will collide with any material, including water, which has the advantage of being transparent to the light that occurs due to that interaction. Neutrinos can thus be detected by constructing a large pool of water, shielded from as many other particles and radiations as possible, and carefully monitoring it for the small flashes of light that occur when a neutrino does interact with one of the many water molecules within the pool. {{w|Photomultiplier tubes}} are used to assist in detecting these very faint and infrequent flashes and reveal the possible nature (and direction) of the interactions that caused them.

The comic jokes that these detectors were not constructed with this purpose in mind. Instead, [[Cueball]] and [[Ponytail]], the organizers of this project, obtained funding for a “neutrino project” and then embezzled these funds for a pool party, likely primarily to buy the large swimming pool seen in the panel. They supposedly only then realize that the pool could be repurposed as an actual neutrino detector. (It is unclear what, exactly, they had claimed to be building with the funding they somehow obtained.)

It is unclear how large the pool in the comic really is. The {{w|Super-Kamiokande}} detector in Japan, one of the world’s largest and most well-known neutrino detectors, holds over 50,000 tons of water. This is approximately 20 times the water capacity of {{w|Olympic-size swimming pool}}s. The only statement made about the water capacity in the swimming pool is “huge”, which is not an accurate measurement of volume or mass.{{Citation needed}} The pool appears to be between 10 and 20 meters in diameter. While the surface of the pool seems to be at most half as large as that of an olympic-sized pool, its depth could be approximately the same, since it seems to safely allow jumps from an approximately 1m high platform. Therefore, a regular pool of this appearance would be expected to hold less water than an olympic-sized one, and certainly much less than would be required for an effective neutrino detector. However, since the bottom of the pool is not visible, the physicists ''might'' just have built a pool with an appropriate volume by making it extremely deep. Assuming a diameter of 20m and therefore a surface area of approximately 314m², the pool would need to be approximately 1582m deep. Constructing such a pool would be even more expensive than building a neutrino detector{{Citation needed}}, thanks to the large depth. It's more likely that the pool simply isn't circular with such a small diameter.

The title text elaborates on why the pool was suitable for a neutrino detector. In real life, these detectors must be heavily shielded from all other particle interactions that might drown out neutrino interactions. This generally requires them to be deep underground (like {{w|Deep Underground Neutrino Experiment|this}} and {{w|Sudbury Neutrino Observatory|this}} and {{w|Super-Kamiokande|this}}), so a surface-level pool would obviously be unsuitable for that purpose. Randall implies that the pool was built in a deep mine in order to prevent it from being noticed by the people responsible for funding the project, which could fulfill the shielding requirement but is a humorously excessive strategy for hiding a swimming pool from a small group of people.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript| This transcript was written by a pool party attendee. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[There is a large circular pool at the bottom of the panel, with a diving board and several stickfigures in and around it. [[Ponytail]] and [[Cueball]] are talking in the pool, two hairy [[Kidball|Kidballs]] are passing a ball, a Kidball is jumping of the diving board, and a Ponytail with a drink and a [[Danish]] are walking along the outside of the pool.]

: Ponytail in pool: How much trouble do you think we'll be in when they find out we used the grant money to throw a huge pool party instead?
: Cueball: We could argue that we '''''did''''' build a neutrino detector.
: Cueball: There's a lot of water here. A solar neutrino will probably interact with it at '''''some''''' point.
: Ponytail: ...Wait. Actually, if we got some photomultiplier tubes...

:[Caption below comic:]
:How the neutrino detector was invented

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Physics]]

3247: Particle Census

2026-05-20T14:21:59Z

BunsenH: Undo revision 413139 by GSLikesCats307 (talk) The page is recent and still under heavy revision

{{comic
| number = 3247
| date = May 18, 2026
| title = Particle Census
| image = particle_census_2x.png
| imagesize = 651x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Remember, your answers to the physics census are confidential; we will not be issuing Pauli exclusion principle citations.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created at an INDETERMINITE TIME. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

This comic references the {{w|Heisenberg uncertainty principle}} of quantum mechanics. Put simply, it states that there's a limit to how precisely we can know both the position and momentum of a particle — the more precisely we know one, the less we know the other. [[Megan]] says that 'physicists' are taking a {{w|census}} of the positions of all particles in the universe, so they'll be known precisely; therefore, all their momenta will be unknowable. By the time we use the census results, we won't know where any of the particles are — we'll just know where they were at the instant their positions were recorded by the census.

In the United States, the constitution mandates that a population census of people living in all the states be taken every ten years. This is primarily for the purpose of apportioning representatives to Congress, but it has come to be used for many other demographic purposes. There's no law (human or physical) requiring a decennial physics census; if physicists want to do this, it's their own decision.

[https://www.quora.com/How-many-particles-are-there-in-the-universe There are estimated] to be approximately 1080 protons, neutrons, neutrinos and electrons in the observable universe, which would make even the task of simply enumerating them difficult. Proton and neutron 'particles' are in turn composed of three quarks (numbers of which which also form other so-called-particles/hadrons), which may easily multiply the the number of separately surveyable particles. If photons are to be included in the census, that increases the number of particles to about 1089... with a further problem that detecting them would involve processes that generate more photons than are being surveyed. If dark matter is to be included, we don't even know what it ''is'', let alone have a method of detecting and recording its particles (if any). We don't know the size of the universe as a whole, and many physicists theorise it is infinite, in which case, covering all the particles in that would be an infinite task. If any meaningful and usable information about each particle is to be recorded, storing that information would require many particles for each particle in the universe, which would be a logical contradiction unless all of the extra particles were coming from some other space (such as an alternate universe).

Many particles, even within the observable universe, are at vast distances from Earth, where they will be difficult to detect. Some particles, particularly neutrinos, are extremely difficult to detect at all, because of their limited interaction with other forms of matter. Simultaneity is impossible, because of relativity, so it would be meaningless to try to catalog them at a specific time. Furthermore, some of those particles will be in the equipment used to measure, and the people doing the measuring, which will further complicate matters.

In the third panel, someone speaks up and is worried about what will happen to particles during the potential “disruption”. Randomly taking someone’s particles and relocating them would be considered unpleasant,{{Citation needed}} even if you ''could'' tell them where the particles are going, which you can't in this instance.

If all particles' locations were determined (as exactly as possible) it would have to be done using very high energy particles (which would, themselves, have to have their locations determined), leaving all the measured particles moving very fast (less than the speed of light, of course, but close to it), destroying everything and everyone. Given that, the concern voiced is very fair, but unnecessary, as it would not be possible to perform the task that Megan claims will happen.

The apparent need to conduct a thorough particle census, and the (perhaps legitimate) worry about the disruption that is caused bears some resemblence to the impact of an audit (either regularly scheduled or possibly imposed to answer some questions about the target of the audit). While there may be legitimate business/regulatory need to uncover the exact nature of the audit's focus, those people who are still trying to work within the auditable environment may (even if they have nothing personal to hide from it) find the involvement of the auditing team to be disruptive and interfering with their expected workflow (such as key documents being unavailable, as they are being scrutinised by the auditors and unavailable to be suitably updated with work currently in progress, without sparking off further auditing actions in response). In some cases, an 'audit' can even be threatened as a response to some nominal non-compliance with (perhaps unreasonable) demands, the implication being that all normally filed documents are heavy-handedly gone through leaving the target of the audit with an actual mess, the object not necessarily to discover desired information but to cause trouble and inconvenience to those that don't provide satisfactory complience to prior 'requests'. In the comic's instance, it is seemingly more a regular chore than an ''ad hoc'' pressure technique, but at least some of those who are more subject to the audit than they are net beneficiaries of its outcome seem to know that they will be significantly inconvenienced by it.

The title text refers to the {{w|Pauli exclusion principle}}, which states that no two {{w|fermions}} — types of particles that include all ordinary matter — can occupy the same quantum state. As the data recorded by the census is confidential, physics officials will not use it to determine whether to issue citations for particles that violate the exclusion principle. This confuses physical laws, which describe how the universe works and by their nature cannot be violated, with societal laws, which declare what is allowed or required by the government.

==Transcript==
:[Megan is standing behind a lectern, addressing an unseen audience.]
:Megan: Remember, Tuesday is the decennial particle census.
:Megan: Physicists will be recording the location of all particles in the universe.

:[Zoom out to show Megan is on a podium behind the lectern. She holds one hand, palm up, out towards the still unseen audience]
:Megan: Of course, this will cause their momenta to become indeterminite, so please plan for some disruption.

:[The same scene with Megan's hands held down. A voice comes from off-panel at the left through a star burst at the edge of the panel.]
:Audience member [off-panel]: Wait, disruption? Where will my particles go?
:Megan: No one can say, but you'll know ''exactly'' where they were.

==Trivia==
*When this comic was uploaded the normal sized image [https://web.archive.org/web/20260518185623/https://xkcd.com/3247/ was incorrectly 2x size]. It kept showing up at 2x size on [[unixkcd]] for awhile.
*"Indeterminate" is spelt "indeterminite" in the second panel text.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Public speaking]]

3246: Speedrun

2026-05-20T14:19:05Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ needs a rewrite, because music could be played without transmitting data

{{comic
| number = 3246
| date = May 15, 2026
| title = Speedrun
| image = speedrun_2x.png
| imagesize = 288x343px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Usain Bolt holds the world record in the 100 meter speedrun.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a SPEEDRUNNING BOT. Don't remove this notice too soon. In particular, the statement which appears to claim that listening to music would be banned because of devices transmitting data needs to be rewritten or supported. Music could be played on a device that doesn't transmit data.}}
{{w|Speedrunning}} is the sport of completing a {{w|video game}} or a goal within a game (for example, completing the main story) as fast as possible. [https://www.speedrun.com/ Speedrun.com], is a popular leaderboard aggregator for speedrunners.

Apparently, [[Cueball]]'s world-record setting attempt at some achievement was deleted from Speedrun.com because of the music he was listening to at the time. [[Megan]] makes the natural assumption that this was because the submission violated copyright on the music in question. It is common for video streamers to include a music 'bed', which can cause copyright issues if they have not taken care that their selections are cleared for use in this way. However, it turns out that his attempt was removed for being 'tool-assisted'. This is a pun on the word 'tool'.

A {{w|tool-assisted speedrun}} (or TAS for short) is a type of speedrun where supplementary tools are used to manipulate inputs frame-by-frame to perfect a run. Such tools are mostly used for experimenting with new strategies or finding areas where a time can be optimized, but it is possible to cheat a run by passing off a tool-assisted run as a normal speedrun.

''{{w|Lateralus}}'' and ''{{w|Ænima}}'' are albums by the band {{w|Tool (band)|Tool}} (who would be considered 'third-party' if they had no direct relationship to the game). Cueball is apparently considered to have got "assistance" from listening to Tool. In real life, a speedrun would be unlikely to be removed based on the music one is listening to while completing it. It could, though, be thought of as a concentration aid, or similar to using a {{w|metronome}}, which could be a [https://www.reddit.com/r/speedrun/s/ODqJcAWcKg controversial topic] if the game one is playing requires some sort of rhythm or precision where it would be useful.

The comic may be referencing {{w|Alex Honnold}}’s ascent of the {{w|Taipei 101}} tower, during which he listened to Tool. The comic was posted 25 years after the ''Lateralus'' album was released.

The title text is another pun, this time on the word "speedrun". {{w|Usain Bolt}}'s world record-setting 100-meter dash record is a "speedrun" in the sense that it is literally a speedy run, and also an attempt by someone to complete a task as fast as possible. It is very common for internet personalities to say they are 'speedrunning' when they are doing a task quickly, even when completely unrelated to gaming (e.g. [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/sqjRfF2cYoE speedrunning petting a cat]). The notion of such a record being classified as a legitimate speedrun isn't farfetched as Speedrun.com has some leaderboards for [https://www.speedrun.com/series/IRL In Real Life] records. The use of "speedrun" to refer to an actual fast run may be considered to be a case of [[3123: Canon]].

In road races like {{w|marathon}}s, wearing technical devices is severely limited. For example, according to Book C2.1 rule 6.3.2 of [https://worldathletics.org/about-iaaf/documents/book-of-rules Book of Rules of World Athletics] they are not allowed to transmit any data. Therefore, speedrunning a marathon while listening to Lateralus and/or Ænima is prohibited{{acn}} (at least in serious competitions, where athletes are checked for wearing earphones — amateurs get some leeway and can even carry their mobile phones).

It is possible that speedrunning was on [[Randall]]'s mind due to the recent social media trend of {{w|Scientology speedrunning}}, in which someone attempts to get as deep as they can into a building belonging to the {{w|Church of Scientology}} before being kicked out. In addition, a marathon race was recently {{w|Marathon#World records and_world's best|completed in under two hours}} for the first time (in competition conditions), and {{w|Beijing_E-Town_Half-Marathon#2026_results|robotic competitors}} also beat an established human half-marathon world record (ironically, the best fully autonomous robots being slower than the one being partially human-assisted).

Randall has referred to bizarre speedruns before in [[744: Walkthrough]] and [[3148: 100% All Achievements]]

==Transcript==

:[Cueball is sitting at a desk with a laptop, typing on it. Megan is standing behind him.]
:Cueball: Aw man, Speedrun.com removed my world record just because I listened to Lateralus and Ænima to get in the flow.
:Megan: Oh, a copyright thing?
:Cueball: No, they don't allow Tool-assisted speedruns.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Puns]]

3247: Particle Census

2026-05-19T14:31:13Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ data storage

{{comic
| number = 3247
| date = May 18, 2026
| title = Particle Census
| image = particle_census_2x.png
| imagesize = 651x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Remember, your answers to the physics census are confidential; we will not be issuing Pauli exclusion principle citations.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created at an INDETERMINITE TIME. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

This comic references the {{w|Heisenberg uncertainty principle}} of quantum mechanics. Put simply, it states that there's a limit to how precisely we can know both the position and momentum of a particle — the more precisely we know one, the less we know the other. [[Megan]] says they're taking a {{w|census}} of the positions of all particles in the universe, so they'll be known precisely; therefore, all their momenta will be unknowable. By the time we use the census results, we won't know where any of the particles are, we'll just know where they were at the instant their positions were recorded by the census.

In the United States, the constitution mandates that a population census of people living in all the states be taken every ten years. This is primarily for the purpose of apportioning representatives to Congress, but it has come to be used for many other demographic purposes. There's no legal requirement for a decennial physics census; if physicists want to do this, it's their own decision. However, it's not really possible to measure the positions of ''all'' particles in the universe, as there are a lot of them, many are quite far away,{{citation needed}}, and unless the particles happen to be at absolute zero, they will be moving, potentially quite fast, so it would be a needlessly difficult census. Furthermore, some of those particles will be in the equipment used to measure, and the people doing the measuring, which will further complicate matters.

[https://www.quora.com/How-many-particles-are-there-in-the-universe There are estimated] to be approximately 1080 protons, neutrons, neutrinos and electrons in the universe, which would make the task of enumerating them difficult. Neutrinos, in particular, are extremely difficult to detect at all, because of their limited interaction with other forms of matter. If photons are to be included in the census, that increases the number of particles to about 1089... with a further problem that detecting them would involve processes that generate more photons than are being counted. If dark matter is to be included, we don't even know what it ''is'', let alone have a method of detecting and counting its particles (if any). Simultaneity is impossible, because of relativity, so it would be meaningless to try to enumerate them at a specific time. If information about each particle is to be recorded, rather than their just being counted, storing that information would require many particles for each particle in the universe, which would be a logical contradiction unless all of the extra particles were coming from some other space such as an alternate universe.

In the third panel, someone speaks up and is worried about what will happen to particles during the potential “disruption”. Randomly taking someone’s particles and relocating them would be considered unpleasant,{{citation needed}} even if you tell them where the particles are going.

If all particles' locations were determined (as exactly as possible) it would have to be done using very high energy particles (which would, themselves, have to have their locations determined), leaving all the measured particles moving very fast (less than the speed of light, of course, but close to it), destroying everything (and everyone). So the concern voiced is very fair, but unnecessary, as it would not be possible to perform the task that Megan claims will happen.

The title text refers to the {{w|Pauli exclusion principle}}, which states that no two {{w|fermions}} — types of particles that include all ordinary matter — can occupy the same quantum state. As the results of the census are confidential, physics officials will not use it to determine whether to issue citations for particles that violate the exclusion principle. This confuses physical laws, which describe how the universe works and by their nature cannot be violated, with societal laws, which declare what is allowed or required by the government.

==Transcript==
:[Megan is standing behind a lectern, addressing an unseen audience.]
:Megan: Remember, Tuesday is the decennial particle census.
:Megan: Physicists will be recording the location of all particles in the universe.

:[Zoom out to show Megan is on a podium behind the lectern. She holds one hand, palm up, out towards the still unseen audience]
:Megan: Of course, this will cause their momenta to become indeterminite, so please plan for some disruption.

:[The same scene with Megan's hands held down. A voice comes from off-panel at the left through a star burst at the edge of the panel.]
:Audience member [off-panel]: Wait, disruption? Where will my particles go?
:Megan: No one can say, but you'll know ''exactly'' where they were.

==Trivia==
*When this comic was uploaded the normal sized image [https://web.archive.org/web/20260518185623/https://xkcd.com/3247/ was incorrectly 2x size]. It kept showing up at 2x size on [[unixkcd]] for awhile.
*"Indeterminate" is spelt "indeterminite" in the second panel text.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Public speaking]]

3247: Particle Census

2026-05-19T14:26:22Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ big numbers

{{comic
| number = 3247
| date = May 18, 2026
| title = Particle Census
| image = particle_census_2x.png
| imagesize = 651x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Remember, your answers to the physics census are confidential; we will not be issuing Pauli exclusion principle citations.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created at an INDETERMINITE TIME. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

This comic references the {{w|Heisenberg uncertainty principle}} of quantum mechanics. Put simply, it states that there's a limit to how precisely we can know both the position and momentum of a particle — the more precisely we know one, the less we know the other. [[Megan]] says they're taking a {{w|census}} of the positions of all particles in the universe, so they'll be known precisely; therefore, all their momenta will be unknowable. By the time we use the census results, we won't know where any of the particles are, we'll just know where they were at the instant their positions were recorded by the census.

In the United States, the constitution mandates that a population census of people living in all the states be taken every ten years. This is primarily for the purpose of apportioning representatives to Congress, but it has come to be used for many other demographic purposes. There's no legal requirement for a decennial physics census; if physicists want to do this, it's their own decision. However, it's not really possible to measure the positions of ''all'' particles in the universe, as there are a lot of them, many are quite far away,{{citation needed}}, and unless the particles happen to be at absolute zero, they will be moving, potentially quite fast, so it would be a needlessly difficult census. Furthermore, some of those particles will be in the equipment used to measure, and the people doing the measuring, which will further complicate matters.

[https://www.quora.com/How-many-particles-are-there-in-the-universe There are estimated] to be approximately 1080 protons, neutrons, neutrinos and electrons in the universe, which would make the task of enumerating them difficult. Neutrinos, in particular, are extremely difficult to detect at all, because of their limited interaction with other forms of matter. If photons are to be included in the census, that increases the number of particles to about 1089... with a further problem that detecting them would involve processes that generate more photons than are being counted. If dark matter is to be included, we don't even know what it ''is'', let alone have a method of detecting and counting its particles (if any). Simultaneity is impossible, because of relativity, so it would be meaningless to try to enumerate them at a specific time.

In the third panel, someone speaks up and is worried about what will happen to particles during the potential “disruption”. Randomly taking someone’s particles and relocating them would be considered unpleasant,{{citation needed}} even if you tell them where the particles are going.

If all particles' locations were determined (as exactly as possible) it would have to be done using very high energy particles (which would, themselves, have to have their locations determined), leaving all the measured particles moving very fast (less than the speed of light, of course, but close to it), destroying everything (and everyone). So the concern voiced is very fair, but unnecessary, as it would not be possible to perform the task that Megan claims will happen.

The title text refers to the {{w|Pauli exclusion principle}}, which states that no two {{w|fermions}} — types of particles that include all ordinary matter — can occupy the same quantum state. As the results of the census are confidential, physics officials will not use it to determine whether to issue citations for particles that violate the exclusion principle. This confuses physical laws, which describe how the universe works and by their nature cannot be violated, with societal laws, which declare what is allowed or required by the government.

==Transcript==
:[Megan is standing behind a lectern, addressing an unseen audience.]
:Megan: Remember, Tuesday is the decennial particle census.
:Megan: Physicists will be recording the location of all particles in the universe.

:[Zoom out to show Megan is on a podium behind the lectern. She holds one hand, palm up, out towards the still unseen audience]
:Megan: Of course, this will cause their momenta to become indeterminite, so please plan for some disruption.

:[The same scene with Megan's hands held down. A voice comes from off-panel at the left through a star burst at the edge of the panel.]
:Audience member [off-panel]: Wait, disruption? Where will my particles go?
:Megan: No one can say, but you'll know ''exactly'' where they were.

==Trivia==
*When this comic was uploaded the normal sized image [https://web.archive.org/web/20260518185623/https://xkcd.com/3247/ was incorrectly 2x size]. It kept showing up at 2x size on [[unixkcd]] for awhile.
*"Indeterminate" is spelt "indeterminite" in the second panel text.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Public speaking]]

3247: Particle Census

2026-05-18T23:18:11Z

BunsenH: /* Explanation */ precision vs. accuracy