explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

244: Tabletop Roleplaying

2021-05-13T13:08:00Z

ChessCake: /* Explanation */ Added TV Tropes warnings.

{{comic
| number = 244
| date = April 4, 2007
| title = Tabletop Roleplaying
| image = tabletop roleplaying.png
| titletext = I may have also tossed one of a pair of teleportation rings into the ocean, with interesting results.
}}

==Explanation==
Four people are playing a {{w|role-playing game}}. [[Megan]] is the game master (GM), describing the events of the adventure and what happens. The other people control imaginary characters in the game. [[Cueball]] attempts to have his character lead other characters in the imaginary construction of dice and gaming sheets. This would allow his character to become the GM of a new game inside the game they're currently playing, effectively taking control of the game away from Megan (at least temporarily). To "recurse" refers to {{w|recursion (computer science)|recursion}}, a concept of computer programming where a piece of code calls itself, essentially making the code run multiple times "within" itself. This may be the simplest way to implement an otherwise long and complicated action. (For example, a folder may contain files inside, but also more folders inside. Asking a computer to 'search through everything' in a folder may involve first checking the files in that folder, and then checking the folders in that folder and 'searching through everything' again in those folders. The single command to 'search through everything' may cause numerous additional 'search through everything' commands to trigger on increasingly nested folders, stopping only once a folder(s) with only files inside (and no folders inside) is found.)

It should be noted that Megan, the current GM, has multiple ways of dealing with this scene to prevent Cueball from attempting to take control of the game. She could simply allude to the success or failure of the recursive game and "skip to the next scene." She could also allow the roleplaying to continue more literally, with crafting checks determining the quality of the miniatures and a gambling check determining the outcome of the in-universe RPG session. Finally, she could simply have the party's plans {{tvtropes|ChandlersLaw|be interrupted by some sort of threat}}, or just {{tvtropes|RocksFallEveryoneDies|drop huge rocks on the party}}.

The title text refers to a pair of fictional rings. Anything passing through one gets teleported instantly to the other, as if the two rings were next to each other. There's an old gamer theory that, if you drop one of the rings in the ocean, water will naturally pass through it and out the other ring, potentially draining the entire ocean, or at least creating a perpetual seawater fountain out of the other ring. And if you teleported one ring directly to the bottom of the ocean, the amount of pressure pushing the water through would cause a gigantic, never-ending torrent, obliterating anything placed in its path. That idea is drawn out in [[969: Delta-P]]. A similar concept is addressed in [https://what-if.xkcd.com/53/ What If? 53, "Drain the Oceans], where a reader asked "How quickly would the oceans drain if a circular portal 10 meters in radius leading into space was created at the bottom of Challenger Deep, the deepest spot in the ocean? How would the Earth change as the water is being drained?". This question may have been inspired by the mention of throwing teleport rings into the ocean in this cartoon.

The rings themselves are most likely inspired by the "Ring Gates" item from the {{w|wikipedia|Dungeons and Dragons}} 3.5 Dungeon Master's Guide (the most recent edition of Dungeons and Dragons at the time this comic was published), which had a similar function. However, a key thing to note is that the rings only allow 100 lbs of material to pass through them each day, meaning that your geyser would only erupt every 24 hours (though this may still qualify as an "interesting result").

==External Links==
* [http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/wondrousItems.htm#ringGates The DnD 3.5 SRD's "Ring Gates"]
* [http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?123123-Pair-of-teleportation-rings-ocean A Giant in the Playground forum thread discussing the "pair of teleportation rings"]

==Transcript==
:[Four people sit around a table. Megan has an open laptop.]
:Megan: Your party enters the tavern.
:Cueball: I gather everyone around a table. I have the elves start whittling dice and get out some parchment for character sheets.
:Megan: Hey, no recursing.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball‏]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueball‏s]]
[[Category:Recursion]]

User:ChessCake

2021-04-13T19:05:35Z

ChessCake: Added what's my main reason for editing the wiki plus some flavor text.

{{crickets}}

Hello, tumbleweeds!

As you can tell by the lack of hyperlinks and such, I've got no need to deck this user page out. Just use my talk page if I'm needed to be talked to and whatnot.

I've self-imposed the task of fixing all outward TV Tropes links with the proper {{tvtropes|MainPage|tag}} to prevent others from being sucked into the black hole that is the TV Tropes website.

Other times, you'll see me do some grammar edits.

{{crickets}}

152: Hamster Ball

2020-12-17T02:15:19Z

ChessCake: Added TV tropes warnings...

{{comic
| number = 152
| date = September 3, 2006
| title = Hamster Ball
| image = hamster_ball.png
| titletext = Reportedly, double-walled inflatable balls like this exist somewhere. Now to find that place.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic starts with a {{w|genie}}, who, having been freed from a magical lamp, grants the owner three wishes; this isn't unusual, since the {{w|Genie in popular culture|idea of a genie}} who does this is a very {{tvtropes|GenieInABottle|common trope}} in the fantasy genre.

[[Cueball]] asks for a human-sized {{w|hamster ball}}, and when he gets it, he starts to roll around in it, obviously entertained.
The genie then asks what he would like for his {{tvtropes|ThreeWishes|other two wishes}}, to which, having already being granted his heart's desire, he states that he wouldn't need the other wishes for anything.

The title text refers to the activity of {{w|Zorbing}}. Later, [[Randall]] found out where to get one and went on a [[211: Hamster Ball Heist|hamster ball heist]], and hamster balls have been a [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Hamster_Ball recurring theme] on xkcd since this comic, and 14 years later it received a direct sequel [[2331: Hamster Ball 2]].

Genies (or magic lamps) are mentioned in at least four other comics:
*[[532: Piano]]
*[[879: Lamp]]
*[[1391: Darkness]]
*[[2193: Well-Ordering Principle]]

In the first two, Randall manages to use the concept to make penis-related jokes. 
In the fourth, the issue of number of wishes is discussed, from the perspective of wanting more than three wishes. The issue of wishing for more wishes is also the subject of [[1086: Eyelash Wish Log]], so it is not always enough with one or even three wishes!

==Transcript==
:[Cueball stands by a genie, whose lower body becomes smoke and trails down to an old-fashioned lamp.]
:Genie: You have awakened me from the lamp. You may have three wishes. What does your heart desire?
:Cueball: I'd like a human-sized hamster ball.

:[A hamster ball appears; Cueball is inside it, arms outstretched.]
:Cueball: Sweet!

:[Cueball steps to left; the ball rolls that way.]

:[He does the same thing to his right.]

:[Cueball comes to rest in the centre of the panel.]

:Genie: And your other wishes?
:Cueball: Why would I need other wishes?

==Trivia==
*For some unknown reason, this comic was the second of only a handful of comics to be [[:Category:Sunday comics|released on a Sunday]].
**The Monday release was then skipped, and the next comic came out Wednesday. So this was in principle supposed to be a Monday release.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Hamster Ball]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Hamster Ball]]

Talk:2399: 2020 Election Map

2020-12-16T22:51:45Z

ChessCake: Okay...

I see a political comic... sure hope this doesn't spiral out of control. [[User:ChessCake|ChessCake]] ([[User talk:ChessCake|talk]]) 22:21, 16 December 2020 (UTC)
: How dare you accuse me of spiraling things out of control, you so-and-so! This kind of baseless backwards logic is exactly the problem with people who share your particular political opinions! --[[User:NeatNit|NeatNit]] ([[User talk:NeatNit|talk]]) 22:38, 16 December 2020 (UTC)
:: You're being sarcastic, right? Just want to be clear so we don't fuel the [potential] flames to come. [[User:ChessCake|ChessCake]] ([[User talk:ChessCake|talk]]) 22:51, 16 December 2020 (UTC)

2399: 2020 Election Map

2020-12-16T22:37:33Z

ChessCake: This is the final category that I'll be adding for the night.

{{comic
| number = 2399
| date = December 16, 2020
| title = 2020 Election Map
| image = 2020_election_map.png
| titletext = There are more Trump voters in California than Texas, more Biden voters in Texas than New York, more Trump voters in New York than Ohio, more Biden voters in Ohio than Massachusetts, more Trump voters in Massachusetts than Mississippi, and more Biden voters in Mississippi than Vermont.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Elections]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring politicians]]
[[Category:Maps]]

2399: 2020 Election Map

2020-12-16T22:30:31Z

ChessCake: More categories to add...

2399: 2020 Election Map

2020-12-16T22:25:24Z

ChessCake: Categories added

Talk:2399: 2020 Election Map

2020-12-16T22:21:28Z

ChessCake: first post lol

977: Map Projections

2020-12-16T15:53:17Z

ChessCake: /* Peirce quincuncial */ Added TV Tropes warning

{{comic
| number = 977
| date = November 14, 2011
| title = Map Projections
| before = [[#Explanation|↓ Skip to explanation ↓]]
| image = map_projections.png
| titletext = What's that? You think I don't like the Peters map because I'm uncomfortable with having my cultural assumptions challenged? Are you sure you're not... ::puts on sunglasses:: ...projecting?
}}
{{TOC}}
==Explanation==
{{w|Map projection}}, or how to represent the spherical Earth surface onto a flat support (paper, screen...) to have a usable map, is a long-time issue with very practical aspects (navigation, geographical shapes and masses visualization, etc.) as well as very scientific/mathematical ones, involving geometry or even abstract algebra among other things. There is no universal solution to this problem: Any 2D map projection will always distort in a way the spherical reality. Many projections have been proposed in various contexts, each intending to minimize distortions for specific uses (for nautical navigation, for aerial navigation, for landmass size comparisons, etc.) but having drawbacks from other points of view. Some of them are more frequently used than others in mass media and therefore more well-known than others, some are purely historical and now deprecated, some are very obscure, etc.

[[Randall]] suggests here the idea that someone's "favorite" map projection can reveal aspects of their personality, then goes through a series of them to show what they can mean.

He may actually believe that all map projections are in a way bad. This could be inferred from the fact that he much later began publishing a series of [[:Category:Bad Map Projections|Bad Map Projections]], starting with [[1784: Bad Map Projection: Liquid Resize]], which was Bad Map Projection #107 on his list, and was followed up by #79: [[1799: Bad Map Projection: Time Zones]]. The projections below could be #1-#12 on that list, although the last one, where Randall hates those that love it, might be somewhat further down the list.

===Mercator===
[[File:MercatorProjection.jpg|frame|The Mercator projection]]
The {{w|Mercator projection}} was introduced by Flemish cartographer Gerardus Mercator in 1569. The main purpose of this map is to preserve compass bearings; for example 13 degrees east of north will be 13 degrees clockwise from the ray pointing toward the top of the map, at every point. A mathematical consequence is the mapping is conformal, i.e. if two roads meet at a certain angle on the surface of the Earth, they will meet at that same angle on the map. It also follows that at every point the vertical and horizontal scales are the same, so locally i.e. considering only a small part of the map, geographical features (shapes, angles) are well represented, which helps a lot in recognizing them on-the-field, or for local navigation in that small part only. For this reason, that projection (or a close variant) is used in several online mapping services (such as Google Maps when this comic was published, but they switched to a globe, see below), which means that it is frequently encountered by the general public. A straight line on the map corresponds to a course of constant bearing (direction), which was very useful for nautical navigation in the past (and thus made that projection very well-known).

However, from a global point of view, this projection is radically incorrect in how it shows the size of landmasses (for instance, Antarctica and Greenland seem gigantic), and furthermore, it always excludes a small region around each pole (otherwise the map would be of infinite height), so it doesn't provide a complete solution for the problem of map projection. The comic implies that people who like that projection aren't very interested with map issues, and typically use what they are offered without thinking much about it.

{{clear}}

===Van der Grinten===
[[File:VanDerGrintenProjection.jpg|frame|The Van der Grinten projection]]
The {{w|Van der Grinten projection}} is not much better than the Mercator. It was adopted by {{w|National Geographic}} in 1922 and was used until they updated to the Robinson projection in 1988.

The Van der Grinten projection is circular as opposed to the Mercator projection. The fictional person believes a circular map is more fitting to the real Earth's three-dimensional spherical nature because both are round. This belief fails to recognize that a two-dimensional circle has very little in common with the surface of a sphere, and thus this projection still causes a vast distortion of space and area. Because of this, Randall implies the Van der Grinten enthusiast to be optimistic and childishly simple-minded (e.g. "you like circles").

{{clear}}

===Robinson===
[[File:RobinsonProjection.jpg|frame|The Robinson projection]]
The {{w|Robinson projection}} was developed by {{w|Arthur H. Robinson}} as a map that was supposed to look nice and is often used for classroom maps. National Geographic switched to this projection in 1988, and used it for ten years, switching to the {{w|Winkel tripel projection|Winkel-Tripel}} in 1998.

{{w|The Beatles}} was a rock band that enjoyed great commercial success in the 1960s, and are widely considered the best act ever in the genre of popular music. The Beatles, coffee, and running shoes are all things that are very commonly enjoyed and largely uncontroversial, as well as being comforting. Liking these specific things suggests an ordinary, easygoing lifestyle paralleled by the projection.

{{clear}}

===Dymaxion===
[[File:DymaxionProjection.jpg|frame|The Dymaxion projection]]
Also called the Fuller Map, the {{w|Dymaxion map}} takes a sphere and projects it onto an icosahedron, that is a polyhedron with 20 triangular faces. It is far easier to unwrap an icosahedron than it is to unwrap a sphere into a 2D object and has very little skewing of the poles. {{w|Buckminster Fuller}} was an eccentric futurist who believed, for example, that world maps should allow no conception of "up" or "down". He was therefore more than happy to defy people's expectations about maps in the pursuit of mathematical accuracy.

Randall associates the projection to geek subculture and niche markets:
*{{w|Isaac Asimov}} was an American science-fiction writer, who (as well as publishing many textbooks) is considered the father of the modern concept of robots. He invented the {{w|Three Laws of Robotics}}. He also worked on more than 500 books throughout his career.
*{{w|XML}} is the eXtensible Markup Language. It is used to represent data in a format that machines can read and understand, as well as being human-readable. In practice, XML is cumbersome to read.
*{{w|Vibram FiveFingers|Toed shoes}} are a [[1065: Shoes|favorite]] of Randall's to pick on. In society they are seen as a {{w|geek}} clothing item.
*Brought to the world by {{w|Dean Kamen}}, the {{w|Segway PT}} was supposed to be a device that changed the way cities were built. In reality, most jurisdictions have put in place rules specifically against Segways, making them a frustration to own and use within the law (in some states in Australia, it is illegal to use them on public footpaths or roads). Also, the former owner of {{w|Segway Inc.}}, the late {{w|Jimi Heselden}}, accidentally rode his Segway off a cliff in 2010.
*At the time of comic release, 3D goggles, nowadays widely known as {{w|Virtual reality headset|VR headsets}}, were considered a gimmick at best. The original idea is as old as 3D graphics, but it never really took off until mid-2010s. Earlier products were very unwieldy and offered poor graphics quality, so no one took this technology seriously.
*{{w|Dvorak Simplified Keyboard|Dvorak}} is an alternate keyboard layout to {{w|QWERTY}}. According to legend, QWERTY was invented to help keep manual typewriters from jamming (by placing the most used keys far from each other) but Dr. {{w|August Dvorak}} performed many studies and found the mathematically optimal keyboard layout to reduce finger travel for right handed typists. While some claim Dvorak is technically better than QWERTY, QWERTY had become the standard. All the keyboards were laid out in QWERTY format, but a lot of software exists to remap the keys to DVORAK for those interested in typing faster. Retraining the brain to use Dvorak takes perhaps a week. It has become a [[:Category:Dvorak|recurrent theme]] on xkcd.
**It seems likely that Randall looked at this comic when he made the [[1784: Bad Map Projection: Liquid Resize]], and given that he then released a comic about Dvorak, [[1787: Voice Commands]], the week after that, it seem like this old comic may also have inspired that Dvorak reference, see this [[1787: Voice Commands#Trivia|trivia item]].

{{clear}}

===Winkel-Tripel===
[[File:Winkel-TripelProjection.jpg|frame|The Winkel Tripel projection]]
Proposed by Oswald Winkel in 1921, the {{w|Winkel tripel projection}} tried to reduce a set of three (German: Tripel) main problems with map projections: area, direction, and distance. The {{w|Kavrayskiy VII projection|Kavrayskiy projection}} is very similar to the Winkel Tripel and was used by the USSR, but very few in the Western world know of it.

The comic links this projection to {{w|hipster}} subculture. The hipster stereotype is to avoid conforming to mainstream fashions. "Post-" refers to a variety of musical genres such as {{w|post-punk}}, {{w|post-grunge}}, {{w|post-minimalism}}, etc. that branch off of other genres.

;Trivia
*In German "Winkel-Tripel-Projektion" means Winkel's triple projection, and therefore the hyphen shouldn't be there: "Winkel Tripel" or "Winkel tripel".
*This projection was later used in [[2242: Ground vs Air]].

{{clear}}

===Goode Homolosine===
[[File:GoodeHomolosineProjection.jpg|frame|The Goode Homolosine projection]]
The {{w|Goode homolosine projection}} takes a different approach to skewing a sphere into a roughly circular surface. An orange peel can be taken from an orange and flattened with fair success; this is roughly the procedure that {{w|John Paule Goode}} followed in creating this projection. Randall is suggesting that people who like this map also prefer relatively easy solutions to other things in life, despite those solutions having nuanced problems that are more difficult to address.

Common people make arguments that if normal people would run the United States, then the US wouldn't be in the trouble it is. This is from the belief that career politicians are simply out to make money and will only act in the interest of their constituency when their continued easy life is threatened (usually around election time).

Airline food is another, much maligned, problem. How do you store enough food to feed people on long airplane trips? What kind of food can be served in an enclosed, low-air-pressure environment? The common solution is to use some kind of prepackaged, reheated meal. Randall is saying that the people in favor of the Goode Homolosine wonder why the airlines don't simply order meals from the restaurants in the airport, store that food, and serve it, rather than using bland reheated food.

Older cars burned oil like mad fiends, and oil back then would become corrosive to the innards of an engine, so oil had to be changed often. But, with the introduction of synthetic motor oil and better designed engines, new cars only need their oil changed about every 10,000 to 15,000 miles. A common conspiracy theory is that modern automobile oil manufacturers still recommend that car owners change their oil every 3,000-5,000 miles to "drum" up more business, even though that frequency is unnecessary.

All of these references suggest that people who like the Goode Homolosine projection are fans of easy solutions to problems. However, the solutions would not necessarily work in practice. For instance: the restaurants might have trouble making enough food for the whole plane, and it could get cold before being served; the air conditions [http://www.nbcnews.com/health/one-reason-airline-food-so-bad-your-own-tastebuds-6C10823522 aboard planes] can affect taste, so airlines say they optimize for this; there is no such thing as a "normal" person, and if there were, he/she would have virtually no chance at actually getting into government office; and the Goode Homolosine projection, while mostly resembling a flattened orange peel as suggested by the earlier analogy, does indeed cut down on distortion, but also has serious problems of its own, such as leaving huge gaps of nothingness between the continents, making distances across the oceans difficult to visualize.

{{clear}}

===Hobo–Dyer===
[[File:Hobo-DyerProjection.jpg|frame|The Hobo–Dyer projection]]
The {{w|Hobo–Dyer projection}} was commissioned by Bob Abramms and Howard Bronstein and was drafted by Mick Dyer in 2002. It is a modified {{w|Behrmann projection}}. The goal was to be a more visually pleasing version of the Gall–Peters.

As is discussed in the Gall–Peters explanation, the Gall–Peters was developed to be equal area, so that economically disadvantaged areas can at least take comfort in the fact that their country is represented correctly by area on maps.

Randall associates the Hobo–Dyer projection to "crunchy granola" — a stereotype associated with vegetarianism, environmental activism, anti-war activism, liberal political leanings, and some traces of {{w|hippie}} culture.

With feminism becoming mainstream and alternative genders being more widely accepted, some have begun to invent gender-neutral pronouns so that when referring to a person whose gender is not known they cannot be offended by being referred to by the wrong pronouns. In {{w|Middle English}} 'they' and 'their' were {{w|Singular they|accepted genderless pronouns that could replace 'he', 'she'}} as well as be used to represent a crowd, but this usage is considered by some to be grammatically incorrect because of the plural/singular debate ([https://www.merriam-webster.com/video/the-awkward-case-of-his-or-her stupid Victorian Grammarians!]). There have been {{w|gender-neutral pronoun#Invented pronouns|many attempts at popularizing invented gender-neutral pronouns}} and they are beginning to achieve some degree of success in the mainstream.

{{clear}}

===Plate Carrée===
[[File:PlateCarreeProjection.jpg|frame|The Plate Carrée projection]]
Also known as the {{w|Equirectangular projection}}, it has been in use since, apparently, 100 AD. The benefit of this projection is that latitude and longitude can be used as x,y coordinates. This makes it especially easy for computers to graph data on top of it.

According to the comic, the projection appeals to people who find much beauty in simplicity.

{{clear}}

===A Globe!===
[[File:GlobeProjection.jpg|frame|The Globe "projection"]]
In any good discussion there has to be at least one smart-ass. This is a comic about map projections, that is, the science of taking a sphere and flattening it into 2 dimensions. The smart-ass believes that we shouldn't even try: a sphere is, tautologically, the perfect representation of a sphere.

To quote ''{{w|The Princess Bride}}'': "Yes, you're very smart. Shut up."

A globe is, of course, the "map projection" used by {{w|Google Earth}}, and recently by other mapping software (including Google Maps) as computers and phones get increasingly powerful 3D graphics.

{{clear}}

===Waterman butterfly===
[[File:WatermanButterflyProjection.jpg|frame|The Waterman Butterfly projection]]
Similar to the Dymaxion, the {{w|Waterman butterfly projection}} turns a sphere into an octahedron, and then unfolds the net of the octahedron, which was devised by mathematician {{w|Waterman polyhedron|Steve Waterman}} based upon the work of {{w|Bernard J.S. Cahill}}.

Bernard Cahill published a [http://www.genekeyes.com/B.J.S._CAHILL_RESOURCE.html butterfly map] in 1909. Steve Waterman probably has the only extant "ready to go" map following the same general principles, though Gene Keys may not be far behind. Waterman has a poem with graphics in a similar vein to this xkcd comic that is worth reading.[http://web.archive.org/web/20120118095915/http://watermanpolyhedron.com/worldmap.html]

[https://www.degruyter.com/downloadpdf/j/pcr.2016.48.issue-4/pcr-2016-0014/pcr-2016-0014.pdf Polyhedral projections] like Cahill, Dymaxion or Waterman typically offer better accuracy of size, shape and area than flat projections, at the expense of compass directionality, connectedness, and other complications.

The joke is that the person responding deeply understands map projections; anyone who knows of this projection is a person that Randall would like to get to know.

{{clear}}

===Peirce quincuncial===
[[File:PeirceQuincuncialProjection.jpg|frame|The Peirce Quincuncial projection]]
The {{w|Peirce quincuncial projection}} was devised by {{w|Charles Sanders Peirce}} in 1879 and uses {{w|complex analysis}} to make a {{w|conformal mapping}} of the Earth, that conforms except for four points which would make up the midpoints of sides and lie on equator (the equator is represented by a square and the corners connect the sides in the middle.)

{{w|Inception}} was a 2010 movie about {{w|meta}} {{w|lucid dream}}ing. It has a complex story that is difficult to follow and leaves the viewer with many questions at the end, and almost needs to be watched multiple times to be understood.

The human brain is not well developed to deal with oddly obvious things. One example is that everyone has a skeleton, but everyone is surprised to see a part of their body represented by an X-ray. Another is the fascinating complexity of the human hand, a machine which is amazingly complex, driven by a complex interplay of electrical and chemical signals; yet is the size of the hand and so useful. A fascination with or fixation on {{tvtropes|ContemplatingYourHands|such thoughts}} is often associated with an altered state of mind brought on by marijuana consumption. Therefore, Randall may be implying that this map would appeal to stoners.

{{clear}}

===Gall–Peters===
[[File:Gall-PetersProjection.jpg|frame|The Gall–Peters projection]]
The {{w|Gall–Peters projection}} is mired in controversy, surprisingly for a map. {{w|James Gall}}, a 19th-century clergyman, presented this projection in 1855 before the {{w|British Association for the Advancement of Science}}. In 1967, the filmmaker {{w|Arno Peters}} created the same projection and presented it to the world as a "new invention" that put poorer, less powerful countries into their rightful proportions (as opposed to the Mercator). Peters played the marketing game and got quite a few followers of his map by saying it had "absolute angle conformality," "no extreme distortions of form," and was "totally distance-factual" in an age when society was very concerned about social justice. All of these claims were in fact false. The Mercator projection distorts size in favor of shape, and Gall-Peters distorts shape in favor of size, being especially inaccurate at the equator and the poles.

The implication is that the fans of this map are pompously concerned with social justice, and willing either to lie or convey marketing mistruths to promote that cause. Alternatively Randall just dislikes this map projection so much due to the above mentioned inaccuracies, that he hates anyone who likes it.

{{clear}}

===Title text===
The title text makes a joke that goes to the familiar meme from ''{{w|CSI: Miami}}'', in which the star, David Caruso starts a sentence, then puts on his sunglasses and ends the sentence with a corny pun. In this case, the pun is on {{w|map projection}} and {{w|projection (psychology)|projection}} in psychology. Psychological projection is an unconscious defense mechanism wherein a person who is uncomfortable with their own impulses denies having them and attributes them to other people, and blames these people for these impulses. The Sunglasses internet meme has been used [[:Category:Puts on sunglasses|in other comics]] as well.

==Transcript==
:What your favorite
:'''Map Projection'''
:says about you
:[All of these are organized as Title, a copy of the particular projection underneath, and what it says about you under that.]

:*Mercator
:**You're not really into maps.
:*Van der Grinten
:**You're not a complicated person. You love the Mercator projection; you just wish it weren't square. The Earth's not a square, it's a circle. You like circles. Today is gonna be a good day!
:*Robinson
:**You have a comfortable pair of running shoes that you wear everywhere. You like coffee and enjoy The Beatles. You think the Robinson is the best-looking projection, hands down.
:*Dymaxion
:**You like Isaac Asimov, XML, and shoes with toes. You think the Segway got a bad rap. You own 3D goggles, which you use to view rotating models of better 3D goggles. You type in Dvorak.
:*Winkel-Tripel
:**National Geographic adopted the Winkel-Tripel in 1998, but you've been a W-T fan since ''long'' before "Nat Geo" showed up. You're worried it's getting played out, and are thinking of switching to the Kavrayskiy. You once left a party in disgust when a guest showed up wearing shoes with toes. Your favorite musical genre is "Post–".
:*Goode Homolosine
:**They say mapping the Earth on a 2D surface is like flattening an orange peel, which seems enough to you. You like easy solutions.You think we wouldn't have so many problems if we'd just elect ''normal'' people to Congress instead of Politicians. You think airlines should just buy food from the restaurants near the gates and serve ''that'' on board. You change your car's oil, but secretly wonder if you really ''need'' to.
:*Hobo-Dyer
:**You want to avoid cultural imperialism, but you've heard bad things about Gall-Peters. You're conflict-averse and buy organic. You use a recently-invented set of gender-neutral pronouns and think that what the world needs is a revolution in consciousness.
:*Plate Carrée (Equirectangular)
:**You think this one is fine. You like how X and Y map to latitude and longitude. The other projections overcomplicate things. You want me to stop asking about maps so you can enjoy dinner.
:*A Globe!
:**Yes, you're very clever.
:*Waterman Butterfly
:**Really? You know the Waterman? Have you seen the 1909 Cahill Map it's based— ...You have a framed reproduction at home?! Whoa. ...Listen, forget these questions. Are you doing anything tonight?
:*Peirce Quincuncial
:**You think that when we look at a map, what we really see is ourselves. After you first saw ''Inception'', you sat silent in the theater for six hours. It freaks you out to realize that everyone around you has a skeleton inside them. You ''have'' really looked at your hands.
:*Gall-Peters
:**I ''hate'' you.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Maps‏‎]]
[[Category:Dvorak]]
[[Category:Puts on sunglasses]]
[[Category:Puns]]

File:cell phone functions.png

2020-03-30T14:35:07Z

ChessCake: ChessCake uploaded a new version of File:cell phone functions.png

Talk:2265: Tax AI

2020-02-07T18:38:37Z

ChessCake: adding a comment

Could "atomizing" be a pun on "amortizing" as opposed to "itemizing"? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.34|108.162.219.34]] 17:44, 7 February 2020 (UTC)

I thought 20202 could be a reference to February 2020 in YYYYM format, but the explanation provided is better.[[User:Kev|Kev]] ([[User talk:Kev|talk]]) 17:53, 7 February 2020 (UTC)

Anyone else want to go out to lunch for wheat clams? Anyone? Okay, I'll just have these to myself... [[User:ChessCake|ChessCake]] ([[User talk:ChessCake|talk]]) 18:38, 7 February 2020 (UTC)

2243: Star Wars Spoiler Generator

2020-01-22T16:14:17Z

ChessCake: /* Table */ TV Tropes warning.

{{comic
| number = 2243
| date = December 18, 2019
| title = Star Wars Spoiler Generator
| image = star wars spoiler generator.png
| titletext = The heroes seem to be gaining the upper hand until Darth Juul manages to flip the switch on the car wash control panel from 'REGULAR' to 'PREMIUM.'
}}

==Explanation==
On December 20, 2019 (2 days after the publication of this comic), the final movie of the "Skywalker saga" of ''Star Wars'' films, ''{{w|Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker}}'', was officially released to the US. It received a world premiere in Los Angeles on December 16, so there are lots of spoilers online, and also lots of people who want to avoid spoilers. [[Randall]] has created a flowchart that generates "spoilers" to the film, but as he probably has not seen the film (or, if he has, he doesn't actually want to spoil it for us), all of the so-called spoilers are nonsensical.

The formula for each spoiler is as follows: "In this Star Wars movie, our heroes return to take on the First Order and new villain '''[villain name]''' with help from their new friend '''[friend name]'''. Rey builds a new lightsaber with a '''[color]''' blade, and they head out to confront the First Order's new superweapon, the '''[superweapon name]''', a space station capable of '''[evil plan]'''. They unexpectedly join forces with their old enemy '''[character]''' and destroy the superweapon in a battle featuring '''[strange event]'''. P.S. Rey's parents are '''[character]''' and '''[character]'''".

The {{w|First Order (Star Wars)|First Order}} is the main antagonist group in the ''Star Wars'' {{w|Star Wars sequel trilogy|sequel trilogy}} series. In ''{{w|Star Wars: The Force Awakens}}'', they use a superweapon in their base, Starkiller Base, to destroy the planetary system housing the headquarters of the {{w|New Republic (Star Wars)|New Republic}}, the democratic government which was formed after the {{w|Galactic Empire (Star Wars)|Empire}}'s defeat in ''{{w|Return of the Jedi}}''.

"Building a {{w|lightsaber}}" is one of the rites of passage for becoming a {{w|Jedi}} Knight. In the {{w|Star Wars prequel trilogy|prequel trilogy}}, new Jedi build lightsabers as an official part of the journey towards Knighthood, and in the {{w|Star Wars Trilogy|original trilogy}}, {{w|Luke Skywalker}} builds a lightsaber between ''The Empire Strikes Back'' and ''Return of the Jedi'' as part of his training with {{w|Yoda}}. {{w|Rey (Star Wars)|Rey}} has used the lightsaber that {{w|Darth Vader|Anakin Skywalker}} made and used (which Luke also used when he was a new Jedi) for the first two movies of the sequel trilogy, and so it would be thematically appropriate for her to build her own prior to the trilogy's final entry. Most Jedi's lightsabers are either blue or green, with a few notable exceptions (e.g. {{w|Mace Windu}}'s purple lightsaber signifies his incredible combat prowess). Kyber crystals are aligned with the Light Side of {{w|the Force}}, so {{w|Sith}} must overpower and "bleed" their crystals before they will function for them, which causes their distinctive red color. Having a lightsaber of a color other than blue, green, or red is often seen in the ''Star Wars'' fandom as a sign of being a "{{tvtropes|MarySue|Mary Sue}}", which is an accusation which has been made of Rey.

Another common plot point in ''Star Wars'' media is the construction, use, and destruction of a superweapon. These are inspired by stories and media of World War II, in which militaries sought to find, attack, and destroy critical elements of their enemies' resources and infrastructure, and meanwhile would construct elaborate defenses for themselves. The attack on the {{w|Death Star}} in particular is inspired by {{w|Operation Chastise}}, the "bouncing bomb" attack on Germany's hydroelectric power plants; Operation Chastise was dramatised in the {{w|The Dam Busters (book)|1951 book}} and {{w|The Dam Busters (film)|1955 film}} ''The Dam Busters'', which was [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNdb03Hw18M very thoroughly homaged] by ''A New Hope''. The original trilogy of movies only had two Death Stars, but superweapons quickly became a staple of the {{w|Star Wars expanded to other media|Expanded Universe}} fiction, to the point that one book had {{w|Han Solo}} make fun of the Empire's tendency towards building superweapons, proposing such ridiculous names as "Galaxy Destructor" and "Nostril of Palpatine". Superweapons are common in superhero stories.

Redemption and making allies of old enemies is also a common plot point in ''Star Wars''. Anakin Skywalker fell to the Dark Side and became Darth Vader, but eventually returned to the Light Side to protect his son, and Han Solo was initially a morally ambiguous character who was eventually convinced to join the Rebellion.

Rey, one of the main characters in the sequel trilogy series is an orphan, who was left behind on the planet Jakku as a child. As Rey is Force-sensitive and adept at using a lightsaber, there is much speculation among Star Wars fans as to the identity of her parents. Many major characters in ''Star Wars'' have unexpected heritages of great portent, most famously Luke, who was very distressed to learn that Darth Vader did not ''kill'' his father, as Obi-Wan had told him, but ''is'' his father. In ''{{w|Star Wars: The Last Jedi}}'', villain {{w|Kylo Ren}} tells her that she is the child of "filthy junk traders", but many fans speculate that he was lying to her.

The title text refers to the bottom option of the [strange event in battle] section. Apparently Lord Juul (or Darth Juul) is fighting the heroes in the Sith car wash. It is unclear what "flipping the switch" from Regular to Premium would do, but it seems to be beneficial to Darth Juul. A "premium" car wash usually has more features than a regular car wash, e.g. more cleaning brushes, waxing the car, cleaning the tires, etc.

This is the second false fact generating comic, after [[1930: Calendar Facts]].

==Table==
{| class="wikitable"
! Entry
! Explanation
|-
! colspan="2" | New villain
|-
| Kyle Ren
|Kyle Ren is one letter away from {{w|Kylo Ren|''Kylo'' Ren}}, the adopted "Sith name" of Ben Solo, son of Han and Leia Solo. Kylo is one of the antagonists of the first two movies in the sequel trilogy, and presumably will be so in the third, but there's nobody in the films named "Kyle". (There are a handful of ''Legends'' characters named Kyle, most famously Kyle Katarn, protagonist of the ''Star Wars: Jedi Knight'' video game series.)
|-
| {{w|Malloc}}
| Malloc is a function used in the C programming language to allocate more memory in the running of a program. Malloc may sound similar to {{w|Darth Malak|Malak}}, the antagonist of the ''{{w|Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic}}'' video game. Improper use of the malloc and free functions can cause "memory leak" bugs in programs.
|-
|Darth Sebelius
| {{w|Sebelius}} is the last name of several people.
* {{w|Kathleen Sebelius}} is a former state representative and governor of Kansas who was Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services under President Obama. Sebelius was the named party in a {{w|National Federation of Independent Business v. Sebelius|Supreme Court case}} that upheld the provisions of the {{w|Affordable Care Act}} ("Obamacare"). The naming of Sebelius as a villain may reference the fact that the ACA has been controversial among certain groups.
* {{w|Jean Sibelius}} is a reknowned Finnish composer. {{w|Sibelius (scorewriter)|Sibelius}} is also the name of a piece of music software.
Randall may have chosen this surname as it sounds similar to {{w|Darth Sidious}}, the overarching villain in the first 6 Star Wars films, who is rumored to return in the upcoming film.
|-
|{{w|Theranos}}
|Theranos was a medical technology company founded by {{w|Elizabeth Holmes}} which claimed to have developed revolutionary blood tests that could produce more data from limited volumes of blood than ever before. They were eventually found to have engaged in fraudulent activity, having tricked investors into thinking their technology was performing better than it actually was or ever could, which resulted in fines for Holmes and Theranos president {{w|Ramesh Balwani}} and the bankruptcy of Theranos. Theranos also sounds similar to {{w|Thanos}}, the main villain of the Infinity Saga in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
|-
|Lord Juul
|{{w|Juul}} is a brand of e-cigarettes. In addition to the broader controversy surrounding electronic cigarettes, Juul has been investigated for its sale of flavored additives for their cigarettes, which are alleged to be particularly attractive to minors. Juul is reminiscent of the "uu" in the names for clones {{w|Joruus C'baoth}} and {{w|Luuke Skywalker}} in {{w|Star Wars Legends|''Star Wars'' Legends}} stories, thus implying Lord Juul is a clone of a character named Jul. ''{{w|Yule|Jul}}'' is the Scandinavian name for the midwinter holidays, which fits as the comic appeared within the Yule season of 2019.
|-
! colspan="2" | New friend
|-
| Kim Spacemeasurer
| May be a parody of the name {{w|Luke Skywalker}}, one of the main characters in the original trilogy of films. Other "Nounverber" names in ''Star Wars'' include Starkiller, Luke's original last name which was later applied to Starkiller Base in ''The Force Awakens'', and Biggs Darklighter, Luke's childhood friend and fellow Rebel pilot who died in the attack on the original Death Star. Also note another Star Wars comic posted a few weeks before this one, [[2229: Rey and Kylo]], which shows those characters actually deciding to measure properties of space.
|-
|Teen Yoda
|{{w|The Child (Star Wars character)|The Child}}, commonly called "Baby Yoda" by fans and the media, is a breakout character from the Disney+ series ''{{w|The Mandalorian}}''. Randall envisions a "teenage" version of this character teaming up with the main characters. This may be in analogy to Groot in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, who appeared as an adult, then child, then teen, or other adaptations of original characters like the Teen Titans.
|-
|Dab Tweetdeck
| A {{w|Dab (dance)|dab}} is a dance move which is many decades old but was made popular by that name in the late 2010's. {{w|TweetDeck}} is an application for managing Twitter accounts. Taken together, "Dab Tweetdeck" could be a character name proposed by clueless Disney executives to attract "the kids" to see ''The Rise of Skywalker'', although one would think that this name would be heavily promoted and thus not a spoiler in that case.
Tweetdeck sounds similar to twi'lek, one of the humanoid alien races in Star Wars, who often are employed as dancers.
|-
| Yaz Progestin
| Yaz sounds like the first name of {{w|Maz Kanata}}, a supporting protagonist in the sequel trilogy. Yaz is a medication which contains {{w|Progestin}}, which imitates the effects of {{w|progesterone}}, a female sex hormone. It is used for purposes including birth control and acne treatment.
|-
| TI-83
| Droids in the Star Wars universe typically have names with letters and numbers, such as R2-D2, C-3PO, BB-8, etc. Randall has created a new character called "TI-83". In real life, the {{w|TI-83}} is a model of graphing calculator manufactured by {{w|Texas Instruments}} that is commonly used in American high schools. This mirrors the origin of the name "R2-D2", which was inspired when Lucas was working on ''{{w|American Graffiti}}'' and was asked for Reel 2, Dialog Track 2, which was abbreviated "R-2-D-2". He remarked that it would be a "great name" and included it in his then-in-development script for ''Star Wars''.
|-
! colspan="2" | Lightsaber colors
|-
| [beige/ochre/mauve/aquamarine/taupe]
| These are different colors, none of which is a "traditional" color for a lightsaber. {{w|Beige}} is a pale-grayish yellow. {{w|Ochre}} is a clay earth pigment ranging from yellow to deep orange or brown. {{w|Mauve}} is a pale purple color. A purple color has been used for a lightsaber in the prequel trilogy series, by Jedi Master {{w|Mace Windu}}. {{w|Aquamarine (color)|Aquamarine}} is a blueish green color. {{w|Taupe}} is a dark brown color between brown and gray.
|-
! colspan="2" | Superweapon names
|-
|Sun Obliterator
| There was an Expanded Universe superweapon called the "Sun Crusher", which would infiltrate a star system and shoot a special torpedo into the star to make it go supernova. May also be a reference to one of the doodles from What If?.
|-
|Moonsquisher
| There were no ''Star Wars'' superweapons with the word "Moon" in their title (or "squisher"), but in the no-longer-canon ''New Jedi Order'' series, Chewbacca was squished ''by'' a moon that was intentionally de-orbited by invading Yuuzhan Vong.
|-
|World Eater
| Possibly a reference to {{w|Alduin}}, the main villain of the popular game {{w|The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim}}. In the Expanded Universe, the Empire used World Devastators, massive machines that would strip-mine planets with tractor beams and make weapons and spacecraft from the extracted resources. Another possible reference is to the {{w|The_Doomsday_Machine_(Star_Trek:_The_Original_Series)|Planet Eater}} doomsday machine from the original Star Trek series. A further possible reference is to the World Eaters space marine legion from {{w|Warhammer 40,000}} franchise.
|-
|Planet Zester
| A {{w|zester}} is a cooking tool for zesting citrus fruit, that is, scraping off the outer layer of a citrus fruit to obtain the flavorful outer layer of its skin. Zesting a planet would be devastating to anything built or living on its surface.
|-
|Superconducting supercollider
| A {{w|supercollider}}, or particle accelerator, is a machine used to accelerate charged particles to very high speeds, for testing in particle physics. The {{w|Superconducting Super Collider}} was a proposed accelerator which was to be constructed in Texas, but was cancelled partway through construction. There has been some minor controversy over the {{w|safety of high-energy particle collision experiments}}, which could theoretically produce black holes, {{w|strangelets}}, or other doomsday scenarios, but all scientific examination of the energies involved has shown that all currently-existing and planned particle accelerators pose no threats. So far, the Earth has not been destroyed by any particle accelerator.{{Citation needed}}
|-
! colspan="2" | Station capabilities
|-
|blowing up a planet with a bunch of beams of energy that combine into one
|This is how the {{w|Death Star}} was depicted in ''{{w|Star Wars: A New Hope}}''. Many beams converged together to form one energy beam. The superweapon was used to destroy the planet Alderaan, as a way to intimidate Princess Leia.
|-
|blowing up a bunch of planets with one beam of energy that splits into many
|This is how the superweapon on Starkiller Base was depicted in ''{{w|Star Wars: The Force Awakens}}''. A single energy beam split into several beams, allowing it to attack many planets. The superweapon was used to destroy the planets in the Hosnian system, the headquarters of the New Republic.
|-
|cutting a planet in half and smashing the halves together like two cymbals
|Jango Fett's "seismic charge" weapon, which he used in a dogfight against Obi-Wan Kenobi in ''Attack of the Clones'', produced a plane wave that cut asteroids in half; presumably a larger weapon of this kind could do the same to a planet.
|-
|increasing the CO2 levels in a planet's atmosphere, causing rapid heating
|This is a reference to {{w|climate change}} currently occurring on planet Earth which most {{w|Scientific consensus on climate change|climate scientists}} believe is due mainly to human factors such as the burning of fossil fuels releasing ancient carbon sources into the air as carbon dioxide, and mass deforestation which means trees are not converting the carbon dioxide into sugars and collagen. [http://drroyspencer.com/ Few other climate scientists] believe the fraction of warming attributable to humans to be uncertain, and probably largely benign, and that recent warming might well be mostly natural.
This seems to have occurred on the planet {{w|Venus}}. Venus' atmosphere is 97% carbon dioxide, and it is also the hottest planet in the Solar System, due to a greenhouse effect, preventing the planet from cooling.
|-
|triggering the end credits before the movie is done
|The {{w|closing credits}} or end credits of a film is the list of cast and crew who were involved in the making of the film. It would be quite strange to show the end credits of the film before it has concluded, although it is one of the {{tvtropes|CreditsGag|types of credits gag}} used in other media. This entry is considerably less damaging to a planet{{Citation needed}} than the other 4 entries in this section, but if early audiences are left unsatisfied by the movie, they might tell everyone else not to see it, which would put the ''Star Wars'' franchise in a perilous financial situation. This would negatively impact the villains as well as the heroes, but they might consider this a worthwhile trade if it is their best option at harming the heroes. This option may be a reference to exploiting a glitch to trigger a [https://youtu.be/Jf9i7MjViCE credit warp] in games such as Super Mario World. This may also be a reference to the Netflix interactive movie "Bandersnatch" in which certain choices triggered the end of the movie and caused it to start the credits.
|-
! colspan="2" | Old enemy/new friend
|-
|{{w|Boba Fett}}
| Boba Fett is a famous bounty hunter introduced in the ''{{w|Star Wars Holiday Special}}'' and made popular by ''{{w|The Empire Strikes Back}}''. On the Empire's orders, he helped capture Han Solo as part of a plot to capture Luke Skywalker. He later tried to prevent Luke from rescuing Han, but was knocked into a sarlacc pit, where he was presumed eaten. In the Expanded Universe, he survived and did eventually join the protagonists against extragalactic invaders; his survival has not been confirmed by Disney's new canon, but he would be a plausible character to bring back in ''The Rise of Skywalker''. A Mandalorian (not Boba Fett, but a bounty hunter using body-armour  from the same planet) is featured in the new Disney+ series, ''The Mandalorian''.
|-
|[https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Salacious_B._Crumb Salacious Crumb]
| Salacious B. Crumb is a Kowakian monkey-lizard who was Jabba the Hutt's jester. He wasn't exactly a major adversary, but he did pull one of C-3PO's eyes out. He was last seen on Jabba the Hutt's sail barge, which was made to explode after Han, Luke, and the rest of the heroes escaped from it, and is presumed dead.
|-
|[https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Exogorth The Space Slug]
| In ''The Empire Strikes Back'', Han Solo pilots the Millennium Falcon into a giant cave to evade pursuit and get time to effect repairs. He is interrupted when the cave turns out to be the mouth of a giant space slug, which the Falcon barely escapes. A giant space slug might be a powerful ally in a battle against a giant space station.
|-
|The bottom half of {{w|Darth Maul}}
| Darth Maul was cut in half by Obi-Wan Kenobi at the end of ''The Phantom Menace''. His "upper half", attached to mechanical legs, has returned as a villain in the ''Clone Wars'' TV series and ''{{w|Solo: A Star Wars Story|Solo}}''. Given that Maul was a Sith and Kenobi a Jedi, who trained Luke, who trained Rey, it would be extremely unexpected for his "bottom half" to join forces with the heroes, although presumably his bottom half would have to be attached to something, which might be better disposed towards Jedi.
If Darth Maul's bottom half did join the heroes, they might aid the heroes by using [https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Force_kick force kicks].
|-
|YouTube commenters
| The sequel trilogy has received more mixed reviews from watchers than Disney might like, and many vocal non-fans have taken to commenting on YouTube (via videos and comments) on what they don't like about the new movies and new characters. If ''The Rise of Skywalker'' fully wins the crowd, an alliance between the heroes and their former critics would be extremely powerful, but with Rotten Tomatoes showing a critics' aggregate score of [https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/star_wars_the_rise_of_skywalker/ less than 60%] ("rotten"), it's going to be an uphill battle.
|-
! colspan="2" | Battle feature
|-
|a bow that shoots little lightsaber-headed arrows
|May be a reference to the [https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Bowcaster bowcaster], a laser crossbow weapon used by the Wookie {{w|Chewbacca}}. It is unclear if the lightsaber-headed arrows are actually lightsabers in itself, as they would seem difficult to produce (as opposed to the Death Star, or even a bunch of sword versions of the arrow).
|-
|X-Wings and TIE fighters dodging the giant letters of the opening crawl
| The {{w|Star Wars opening crawl|"opening crawl"}} is a signature motif used in all the main Star Wars films, to explain the backstory and context of each film. {{w|X-Wing}}s and {{w|TIE fighter}}s are fighter-type spaceships used by the Rebels (and Resistance later on) and the Empire (and First Order), respectively. A dogfight scene during the opening crawl would involve {{w|Fourth wall|breaking the fourth wall}}, as the opening crawl is not presumed to be part of the universe of the films (except when so parodied, such as in {{w|Airplane II: The Sequel}}).
|-
|a Sith educational display that uses Force lightning to demonstrate the dielectric breakdown of air
|[https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Force_lightning Force lightning] is a power that Force users can use to generate electric energy from the user's hands. It was first used in ''Return of the Jedi'' by Emperor Palpatine (Darth Sidious) when Luke Skywalker refuses to give in to the dark side of the Force. Palpatine attempts to kill Luke with Force lightning, but Darth Vader saves Luke by throwing Palpatine down a reactor chute. Palpatine also used Force Lightning on Mace Windu and Yoda during their battles at the end of ''Revenge of the Sith''. None of these uses of Sith lightning were intended to be educational on the nature of {{w|lightning}}, although they could have been very educational on the pain, cruelty, and "unlimited power!" offered by the Dark Side of the Force. This might also be a reference to [https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Sith_holocron sith holocron] — a device to store Force-related information and secrets, possibly.
|-
|Kylo Ren putting on another helmet over his smaller one
|Kylo Ren is famous for wearing his helmet in ''The Force Awakens'', which he styled after Darth Vader's helmet. Putting on another helmet over it would require a comically large helmet that might be compared to Dark Helmet, a character from the parody film ''{{w|Spaceballs}}'' who parodies Darth Vader.
|-
|a Sith car wash where the bristles on the brushes are little lightsabers
| While an unexpected car wash finale scene seems unlikely, it is not without precedent in cinema; ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolescence_of_Utena Adolescence of Utena]'' featured the title character unexpectedly entering a car wash and transforming into a car (followed by a segue into a car race sequence).
George Lucas, the originator of Star Wars also wrote the movie "American Graffiti," which featured cars prominently. A subsequent movie "Car Wash," has been seen as a commentary on or imitation of "American Graffiti." Including a Sith car wash might reference the relation between these two films.[https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/25/movies/streaming-car-wash.html ‘Car Wash,’ a Raunchy 1970s Comedy Brimming With Meta and Mayhem].
|-
! colspan="2" | Rey's parent #1
|-
| {{w|Luke Skywalker|Luke}}
| Luke Skywalker is the main character of the original Star Wars films. Of all of the characters presented here, he is the one with the greatest likelihood of being Rey's father. When Maz gave Rey Luke's lightsaber, she said "[t]hat lightsaber was Luke's, and his father's before him, and now, it calls to you." Luke does not seem to recognize Rey as his child (or as anybody in particular), but Darth Vader did not recognize Luke or Leia as his children -- and indeed did not know that he had any living children -- until they were grown. However, unlike Anakin Skywalker, or the Luke Skywalker from the pre-Disney Expanded Universe, no canon materials have presented anyone with whom Luke has fallen in love or fathered a child.
|-
|{{w|Princess Leia|Leia}} and {{w|Han Solo|Han}}
|Princess Leia and Han Solo are the other main characters of the original Star Wars films. It is unlikely that Leia or Han are Rey's parents as they did not seem to recognize Rey in any of the sequel trilogy films, nor is there any indication that they have had more than one child (Ben Solo, AKA Kylo Ren).
|-
|{{w|Obi-Wan Kenobi|Obi-Wan}}
|Obi-Wan Kenobi was one of the main characters in the Star Wars prequel trilogy. He, along with Qui-Gon Jinn, discovered Anakin Skywalker, who later became Darth Vader. Kenobi dies at the second act of ''Star Wars: A New Hope'', sacrificing himself to allow Luke, Leia, and Han to escape the Death Star. Marriage and parenthood were forbidden by the Jedi Order, and Obi-Wan generally adhered to the Order's rules more closely than Anakin did; Obi-Wan did feel some mutual romantic attraction with Duchess Satine of Mandalore, but they both chose to remain in their respective organizations rather than pursue a relationship. Also, Obi-Wan stopped having a physical form decade before Rey was conceived.
|-
|a random junk trader
|This is who Kylo Ren claims that Rey is descended from: worthless, random junk traders.
|-
! colspan="2" | Rey's parent #2
|-
|{{w|Poe Dameron|Poe}}
|Poe Dameron is one of the main characters of the Star Wars sequel trilogy. He is a pilot in the Resistance. He is only 13 years older than Rey, and thus is most likely not her father.
|-
|{{w|BB-8}}
|BB-8 is an astromech droid owned by Poe Dameron. It is unlikely that Rey is descended from a (non-living) droid.
|-
|[ {{w|Amilyn Holdo}} /Laura Dern]
|Vice Admiral Amilyn Holdo, portrayed by Laura Dern, was a leader in the Resistance. She dies at the end of ''The Last Jedi'', sacrificing herself by jumping to light speed straight into the First Order's pursuing starship. Randall presents both Admiral Holdo, the character, and Laura Dern, the actress, as separate options for Rey's mother, but the former is not supported by any story material and the latter is impossible (Dern is alive here and now, not "a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away").
|-
|a random junk trader
| (see above)
|-
|that one droid from the Jawa Sandcrawler that says ''Gonk''
|This is [https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/GNK_power_droid a droid] from ''Star Wars: A New Hope'' that says "Gonk". As in the BB-8 entry, it is unlikely that Rey is descended from a droid.
|-
|}

==Transcript==
:<big>Star Wars Spoiler Generator</big>

:[Shown below is a branching flowchart of sorts that begins at the phrase "In this Star Wars movie, our heroes return to take on the First Order and new villain...", then flows through various paths to build up a story.]

:In this Star Wars movie, our heroes return to take on the First Order and new villain...
::Kyle Ren
::Malloc
::Darth Sebelius
::Theranos
::Lord Juul

:...with help from their new friend...
::Kim Spacemeasurer
::Teen Yoda
::Dab Tweetdeck
::Yaz Progestin
::TI-83

:Rey builds a new lightsaber with a...
::beige
::ochre
::mauve
::aquamarine
::taupe

:...blade, and they head out to confront the First Order's new superweapon, the...
::Sun Obliterator
::Moonsquisher
::World Eater
::Planet Zester
::Superconducting Supercollider

:...a space station capable of...
::blowing up a planet with a bunch of beams of energy that combine into one
::blowing up a bunch of planets with one beam of energy that splits into many
::cutting a planet in half and smashing the halves together like two cymbals
::increasing the CO2 levels in a planet's atmosphere, causing rapid heating
::triggering the end credits before the movie is done

:They unexpectedly join forces with their old enemy...
::Boba Fett
::Salacious Crumb
::The Space Slug
::the bottom half of Darth Maul
::Youtube commenters

:...and destroy the superweapon in a battle featuring
::a bow that shoots little lightsaber-headed arrows
::X-Wings and TIE fighters dodging the giant letters of the opening crawl
::a Sith educational display that uses Force Lightning to demonstrate the dielectric breakdown of air
::Kylo Ren putting on another helmet over his smaller one
::a Sith car wash where the bristles on the brushes are little lightsabers

:P.S. Rey's parents are...
::Luke
::Leia
::Han
::Obi-Wan
::a random junk trader

:...and...
::Poe
::BB-8
::Amilyn Holdo
::Laura Dern
::a random junk trader
::that one droid from the Jawa Sandcrawler that says ''Gonk''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
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2243: Star Wars Spoiler Generator

2020-01-22T16:11:06Z

ChessCake: /* Explanation */ Someone forgot a TV Tropes warning!

{{comic
| number = 2243
| date = December 18, 2019
| title = Star Wars Spoiler Generator
| image = star wars spoiler generator.png
| titletext = The heroes seem to be gaining the upper hand until Darth Juul manages to flip the switch on the car wash control panel from 'REGULAR' to 'PREMIUM.'
}}

==Explanation==
On December 20, 2019 (2 days after the publication of this comic), the final movie of the "Skywalker saga" of ''Star Wars'' films, ''{{w|Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker}}'', was officially released to the US. It received a world premiere in Los Angeles on December 16, so there are lots of spoilers online, and also lots of people who want to avoid spoilers. [[Randall]] has created a flowchart that generates "spoilers" to the film, but as he probably has not seen the film (or, if he has, he doesn't actually want to spoil it for us), all of the so-called spoilers are nonsensical.

The formula for each spoiler is as follows: "In this Star Wars movie, our heroes return to take on the First Order and new villain '''[villain name]''' with help from their new friend '''[friend name]'''. Rey builds a new lightsaber with a '''[color]''' blade, and they head out to confront the First Order's new superweapon, the '''[superweapon name]''', a space station capable of '''[evil plan]'''. They unexpectedly join forces with their old enemy '''[character]''' and destroy the superweapon in a battle featuring '''[strange event]'''. P.S. Rey's parents are '''[character]''' and '''[character]'''".

The {{w|First Order (Star Wars)|First Order}} is the main antagonist group in the ''Star Wars'' {{w|Star Wars sequel trilogy|sequel trilogy}} series. In ''{{w|Star Wars: The Force Awakens}}'', they use a superweapon in their base, Starkiller Base, to destroy the planetary system housing the headquarters of the {{w|New Republic (Star Wars)|New Republic}}, the democratic government which was formed after the {{w|Galactic Empire (Star Wars)|Empire}}'s defeat in ''{{w|Return of the Jedi}}''.

"Building a {{w|lightsaber}}" is one of the rites of passage for becoming a {{w|Jedi}} Knight. In the {{w|Star Wars prequel trilogy|prequel trilogy}}, new Jedi build lightsabers as an official part of the journey towards Knighthood, and in the {{w|Star Wars Trilogy|original trilogy}}, {{w|Luke Skywalker}} builds a lightsaber between ''The Empire Strikes Back'' and ''Return of the Jedi'' as part of his training with {{w|Yoda}}. {{w|Rey (Star Wars)|Rey}} has used the lightsaber that {{w|Darth Vader|Anakin Skywalker}} made and used (which Luke also used when he was a new Jedi) for the first two movies of the sequel trilogy, and so it would be thematically appropriate for her to build her own prior to the trilogy's final entry. Most Jedi's lightsabers are either blue or green, with a few notable exceptions (e.g. {{w|Mace Windu}}'s purple lightsaber signifies his incredible combat prowess). Kyber crystals are aligned with the Light Side of {{w|the Force}}, so {{w|Sith}} must overpower and "bleed" their crystals before they will function for them, which causes their distinctive red color. Having a lightsaber of a color other than blue, green, or red is often seen in the ''Star Wars'' fandom as a sign of being a "{{tvtropes|MarySue|Mary Sue}}", which is an accusation which has been made of Rey.

Another common plot point in ''Star Wars'' media is the construction, use, and destruction of a superweapon. These are inspired by stories and media of World War II, in which militaries sought to find, attack, and destroy critical elements of their enemies' resources and infrastructure, and meanwhile would construct elaborate defenses for themselves. The attack on the {{w|Death Star}} in particular is inspired by {{w|Operation Chastise}}, the "bouncing bomb" attack on Germany's hydroelectric power plants; Operation Chastise was dramatised in the {{w|The Dam Busters (book)|1951 book}} and {{w|The Dam Busters (film)|1955 film}} ''The Dam Busters'', which was [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNdb03Hw18M very thoroughly homaged] by ''A New Hope''. The original trilogy of movies only had two Death Stars, but superweapons quickly became a staple of the {{w|Star Wars expanded to other media|Expanded Universe}} fiction, to the point that one book had {{w|Han Solo}} make fun of the Empire's tendency towards building superweapons, proposing such ridiculous names as "Galaxy Destructor" and "Nostril of Palpatine". Superweapons are common in superhero stories.

Redemption and making allies of old enemies is also a common plot point in ''Star Wars''. Anakin Skywalker fell to the Dark Side and became Darth Vader, but eventually returned to the Light Side to protect his son, and Han Solo was initially a morally ambiguous character who was eventually convinced to join the Rebellion.

Rey, one of the main characters in the sequel trilogy series is an orphan, who was left behind on the planet Jakku as a child. As Rey is Force-sensitive and adept at using a lightsaber, there is much speculation among Star Wars fans as to the identity of her parents. Many major characters in ''Star Wars'' have unexpected heritages of great portent, most famously Luke, who was very distressed to learn that Darth Vader did not ''kill'' his father, as Obi-Wan had told him, but ''is'' his father. In ''{{w|Star Wars: The Last Jedi}}'', villain {{w|Kylo Ren}} tells her that she is the child of "filthy junk traders", but many fans speculate that he was lying to her.

The title text refers to the bottom option of the [strange event in battle] section. Apparently Lord Juul (or Darth Juul) is fighting the heroes in the Sith car wash. It is unclear what "flipping the switch" from Regular to Premium would do, but it seems to be beneficial to Darth Juul. A "premium" car wash usually has more features than a regular car wash, e.g. more cleaning brushes, waxing the car, cleaning the tires, etc.

This is the second false fact generating comic, after [[1930: Calendar Facts]].

==Table==
{| class="wikitable"
! Entry
! Explanation
|-
! colspan="2" | New villain
|-
| Kyle Ren
|Kyle Ren is one letter away from {{w|Kylo Ren|''Kylo'' Ren}}, the adopted "Sith name" of Ben Solo, son of Han and Leia Solo. Kylo is one of the antagonists of the first two movies in the sequel trilogy, and presumably will be so in the third, but there's nobody in the films named "Kyle". (There are a handful of ''Legends'' characters named Kyle, most famously Kyle Katarn, protagonist of the ''Star Wars: Jedi Knight'' video game series.)
|-
| {{w|Malloc}}
| Malloc is a function used in the C programming language to allocate more memory in the running of a program. Malloc may sound similar to {{w|Darth Malak|Malak}}, the antagonist of the ''{{w|Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic}}'' video game. Improper use of the malloc and free functions can cause "memory leak" bugs in programs.
|-
|Darth Sebelius
| {{w|Sebelius}} is the last name of several people.
* {{w|Kathleen Sebelius}} is a former state representative and governor of Kansas who was Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services under President Obama. Sebelius was the named party in a {{w|National Federation of Independent Business v. Sebelius|Supreme Court case}} that upheld the provisions of the {{w|Affordable Care Act}} ("Obamacare"). The naming of Sebelius as a villain may reference the fact that the ACA has been controversial among certain groups.
* {{w|Jean Sibelius}} is a reknowned Finnish composer. {{w|Sibelius (scorewriter)|Sibelius}} is also the name of a piece of music software.
Randall may have chosen this surname as it sounds similar to {{w|Darth Sidious}}, the overarching villain in the first 6 Star Wars films, who is rumored to return in the upcoming film.
|-
|{{w|Theranos}}
|Theranos was a medical technology company founded by {{w|Elizabeth Holmes}} which claimed to have developed revolutionary blood tests that could produce more data from limited volumes of blood than ever before. They were eventually found to have engaged in fraudulent activity, having tricked investors into thinking their technology was performing better than it actually was or ever could, which resulted in fines for Holmes and Theranos president {{w|Ramesh Balwani}} and the bankruptcy of Theranos. Theranos also sounds similar to {{w|Thanos}}, the main villain of the Infinity Saga in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
|-
|Lord Juul
|{{w|Juul}} is a brand of e-cigarettes. In addition to the broader controversy surrounding electronic cigarettes, Juul has been investigated for its sale of flavored additives for their cigarettes, which are alleged to be particularly attractive to minors. Juul is reminiscent of the "uu" in the names for clones {{w|Joruus C'baoth}} and {{w|Luuke Skywalker}} in {{w|Star Wars Legends|''Star Wars'' Legends}} stories, thus implying Lord Juul is a clone of a character named Jul. ''{{w|Yule|Jul}}'' is the Scandinavian name for the midwinter holidays, which fits as the comic appeared within the Yule season of 2019.
|-
! colspan="2" | New friend
|-
| Kim Spacemeasurer
| May be a parody of the name {{w|Luke Skywalker}}, one of the main characters in the original trilogy of films. Other "Nounverber" names in ''Star Wars'' include Starkiller, Luke's original last name which was later applied to Starkiller Base in ''The Force Awakens'', and Biggs Darklighter, Luke's childhood friend and fellow Rebel pilot who died in the attack on the original Death Star. Also note another Star Wars comic posted a few weeks before this one, [[2229: Rey and Kylo]], which shows those characters actually deciding to measure properties of space.
|-
|Teen Yoda
|{{w|The Child (Star Wars character)|The Child}}, commonly called "Baby Yoda" by fans and the media, is a breakout character from the Disney+ series ''{{w|The Mandalorian}}''. Randall envisions a "teenage" version of this character teaming up with the main characters. This may be in analogy to Groot in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, who appeared as an adult, then child, then teen, or other adaptations of original characters like the Teen Titans.
|-
|Dab Tweetdeck
| A {{w|Dab (dance)|dab}} is a dance move which is many decades old but was made popular by that name in the late 2010's. {{w|TweetDeck}} is an application for managing Twitter accounts. Taken together, "Dab Tweetdeck" could be a character name proposed by clueless Disney executives to attract "the kids" to see ''The Rise of Skywalker'', although one would think that this name would be heavily promoted and thus not a spoiler in that case.
Tweetdeck sounds similar to twi'lek, one of the humanoid alien races in Star Wars, who often are employed as dancers.
|-
| Yaz Progestin
| Yaz sounds like the first name of {{w|Maz Kanata}}, a supporting protagonist in the sequel trilogy. Yaz is a medication which contains {{w|Progestin}}, which imitates the effects of {{w|progesterone}}, a female sex hormone. It is used for purposes including birth control and acne treatment.
|-
| TI-83
| Droids in the Star Wars universe typically have names with letters and numbers, such as R2-D2, C-3PO, BB-8, etc. Randall has created a new character called "TI-83". In real life, the {{w|TI-83}} is a model of graphing calculator manufactured by {{w|Texas Instruments}} that is commonly used in American high schools. This mirrors the origin of the name "R2-D2", which was inspired when Lucas was working on ''{{w|American Graffiti}}'' and was asked for Reel 2, Dialog Track 2, which was abbreviated "R-2-D-2". He remarked that it would be a "great name" and included it in his then-in-development script for ''Star Wars''.
|-
! colspan="2" | Lightsaber colors
|-
| [beige/ochre/mauve/aquamarine/taupe]
| These are different colors, none of which is a "traditional" color for a lightsaber. {{w|Beige}} is a pale-grayish yellow. {{w|Ochre}} is a clay earth pigment ranging from yellow to deep orange or brown. {{w|Mauve}} is a pale purple color. A purple color has been used for a lightsaber in the prequel trilogy series, by Jedi Master {{w|Mace Windu}}. {{w|Aquamarine (color)|Aquamarine}} is a blueish green color. {{w|Taupe}} is a dark brown color between brown and gray.
|-
! colspan="2" | Superweapon names
|-
|Sun Obliterator
| There was an Expanded Universe superweapon called the "Sun Crusher", which would infiltrate a star system and shoot a special torpedo into the star to make it go supernova. May also be a reference to one of the doodles from What If?.
|-
|Moonsquisher
| There were no ''Star Wars'' superweapons with the word "Moon" in their title (or "squisher"), but in the no-longer-canon ''New Jedi Order'' series, Chewbacca was squished ''by'' a moon that was intentionally de-orbited by invading Yuuzhan Vong.
|-
|World Eater
| Possibly a reference to {{w|Alduin}}, the main villain of the popular game {{w|The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim}}. In the Expanded Universe, the Empire used World Devastators, massive machines that would strip-mine planets with tractor beams and make weapons and spacecraft from the extracted resources. Another possible reference is to the {{w|The_Doomsday_Machine_(Star_Trek:_The_Original_Series)|Planet Eater}} doomsday machine from the original Star Trek series. A further possible reference is to the World Eaters space marine legion from {{w|Warhammer 40,000}} franchise.
|-
|Planet Zester
| A {{w|zester}} is a cooking tool for zesting citrus fruit, that is, scraping off the outer layer of a citrus fruit to obtain the flavorful outer layer of its skin. Zesting a planet would be devastating to anything built or living on its surface.
|-
|Superconducting supercollider
| A {{w|supercollider}}, or particle accelerator, is a machine used to accelerate charged particles to very high speeds, for testing in particle physics. The {{w|Superconducting Super Collider}} was a proposed accelerator which was to be constructed in Texas, but was cancelled partway through construction. There has been some minor controversy over the {{w|safety of high-energy particle collision experiments}}, which could theoretically produce black holes, {{w|strangelets}}, or other doomsday scenarios, but all scientific examination of the energies involved has shown that all currently-existing and planned particle accelerators pose no threats. So far, the Earth has not been destroyed by any particle accelerator.{{Citation needed}}
|-
! colspan="2" | Station capabilities
|-
|blowing up a planet with a bunch of beams of energy that combine into one
|This is how the {{w|Death Star}} was depicted in ''{{w|Star Wars: A New Hope}}''. Many beams converged together to form one energy beam. The superweapon was used to destroy the planet Alderaan, as a way to intimidate Princess Leia.
|-
|blowing up a bunch of planets with one beam of energy that splits into many
|This is how the superweapon on Starkiller Base was depicted in ''{{w|Star Wars: The Force Awakens}}''. A single energy beam split into several beams, allowing it to attack many planets. The superweapon was used to destroy the planets in the Hosnian system, the headquarters of the New Republic.
|-
|cutting a planet in half and smashing the halves together like two cymbals
|Jango Fett's "seismic charge" weapon, which he used in a dogfight against Obi-Wan Kenobi in ''Attack of the Clones'', produced a plane wave that cut asteroids in half; presumably a larger weapon of this kind could do the same to a planet.
|-
|increasing the CO2 levels in a planet's atmosphere, causing rapid heating
|This is a reference to {{w|climate change}} currently occurring on planet Earth which most {{w|Scientific consensus on climate change|climate scientists}} believe is due mainly to human factors such as the burning of fossil fuels releasing ancient carbon sources into the air as carbon dioxide, and mass deforestation which means trees are not converting the carbon dioxide into sugars and collagen. [http://drroyspencer.com/ Few other climate scientists] believe the fraction of warming attributable to humans to be uncertain, and probably largely benign, and that recent warming might well be mostly natural.
This seems to have occurred on the planet {{w|Venus}}. Venus' atmosphere is 97% carbon dioxide, and it is also the hottest planet in the Solar System, due to a greenhouse effect, preventing the planet from cooling.
|-
|triggering the end credits before the movie is done
|The {{w|closing credits}} or end credits of a film is the list of cast and crew who were involved in the making of the film. It would be quite strange to show the end credits of the film before it has concluded, although it is one of the [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CreditsGag types of credits gag] used in other media. This entry is considerably less damaging to a planet{{Citation needed}} than the other 4 entries in this section, but if early audiences are left unsatisfied by the movie, they might tell everyone else not to see it, which would put the ''Star Wars'' franchise in a perilous financial situation. This would negatively impact the villains as well as the heroes, but they might consider this a worthwhile trade if it is their best option at harming the heroes. This option may be a reference to exploiting a glitch to trigger a [https://youtu.be/Jf9i7MjViCE credit warp] in games such as Super Mario World. This may also be a reference to the Netflix interactive movie "Bandersnatch" in which certain choices triggered the end of the movie and caused it to start the credits.
|-
! colspan="2" | Old enemy/new friend
|-
|{{w|Boba Fett}}
| Boba Fett is a famous bounty hunter introduced in the ''{{w|Star Wars Holiday Special}}'' and made popular by ''{{w|The Empire Strikes Back}}''. On the Empire's orders, he helped capture Han Solo as part of a plot to capture Luke Skywalker. He later tried to prevent Luke from rescuing Han, but was knocked into a sarlacc pit, where he was presumed eaten. In the Expanded Universe, he survived and did eventually join the protagonists against extragalactic invaders; his survival has not been confirmed by Disney's new canon, but he would be a plausible character to bring back in ''The Rise of Skywalker''. A Mandalorian (not Boba Fett, but a bounty hunter using body-armour  from the same planet) is featured in the new Disney+ series, ''The Mandalorian''.
|-
|[https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Salacious_B._Crumb Salacious Crumb]
| Salacious B. Crumb is a Kowakian monkey-lizard who was Jabba the Hutt's jester. He wasn't exactly a major adversary, but he did pull one of C-3PO's eyes out. He was last seen on Jabba the Hutt's sail barge, which was made to explode after Han, Luke, and the rest of the heroes escaped from it, and is presumed dead.
|-
|[https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Exogorth The Space Slug]
| In ''The Empire Strikes Back'', Han Solo pilots the Millennium Falcon into a giant cave to evade pursuit and get time to effect repairs. He is interrupted when the cave turns out to be the mouth of a giant space slug, which the Falcon barely escapes. A giant space slug might be a powerful ally in a battle against a giant space station.
|-
|The bottom half of {{w|Darth Maul}}
| Darth Maul was cut in half by Obi-Wan Kenobi at the end of ''The Phantom Menace''. His "upper half", attached to mechanical legs, has returned as a villain in the ''Clone Wars'' TV series and ''{{w|Solo: A Star Wars Story|Solo}}''. Given that Maul was a Sith and Kenobi a Jedi, who trained Luke, who trained Rey, it would be extremely unexpected for his "bottom half" to join forces with the heroes, although presumably his bottom half would have to be attached to something, which might be better disposed towards Jedi.
If Darth Maul's bottom half did join the heroes, they might aid the heroes by using [https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Force_kick force kicks].
|-
|YouTube commenters
| The sequel trilogy has received more mixed reviews from watchers than Disney might like, and many vocal non-fans have taken to commenting on YouTube (via videos and comments) on what they don't like about the new movies and new characters. If ''The Rise of Skywalker'' fully wins the crowd, an alliance between the heroes and their former critics would be extremely powerful, but with Rotten Tomatoes showing a critics' aggregate score of [https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/star_wars_the_rise_of_skywalker/ less than 60%] ("rotten"), it's going to be an uphill battle.
|-
! colspan="2" | Battle feature
|-
|a bow that shoots little lightsaber-headed arrows
|May be a reference to the [https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Bowcaster bowcaster], a laser crossbow weapon used by the Wookie {{w|Chewbacca}}. It is unclear if the lightsaber-headed arrows are actually lightsabers in itself, as they would seem difficult to produce (as opposed to the Death Star, or even a bunch of sword versions of the arrow).
|-
|X-Wings and TIE fighters dodging the giant letters of the opening crawl
| The {{w|Star Wars opening crawl|"opening crawl"}} is a signature motif used in all the main Star Wars films, to explain the backstory and context of each film. {{w|X-Wing}}s and {{w|TIE fighter}}s are fighter-type spaceships used by the Rebels (and Resistance later on) and the Empire (and First Order), respectively. A dogfight scene during the opening crawl would involve {{w|Fourth wall|breaking the fourth wall}}, as the opening crawl is not presumed to be part of the universe of the films (except when so parodied, such as in {{w|Airplane II: The Sequel}}).
|-
|a Sith educational display that uses Force lightning to demonstrate the dielectric breakdown of air
|[https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Force_lightning Force lightning] is a power that Force users can use to generate electric energy from the user's hands. It was first used in ''Return of the Jedi'' by Emperor Palpatine (Darth Sidious) when Luke Skywalker refuses to give in to the dark side of the Force. Palpatine attempts to kill Luke with Force lightning, but Darth Vader saves Luke by throwing Palpatine down a reactor chute. Palpatine also used Force Lightning on Mace Windu and Yoda during their battles at the end of ''Revenge of the Sith''. None of these uses of Sith lightning were intended to be educational on the nature of {{w|lightning}}, although they could have been very educational on the pain, cruelty, and "unlimited power!" offered by the Dark Side of the Force. This might also be a reference to [https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Sith_holocron sith holocron] — a device to store Force-related information and secrets, possibly.
|-
|Kylo Ren putting on another helmet over his smaller one
|Kylo Ren is famous for wearing his helmet in ''The Force Awakens'', which he styled after Darth Vader's helmet. Putting on another helmet over it would require a comically large helmet that might be compared to Dark Helmet, a character from the parody film ''{{w|Spaceballs}}'' who parodies Darth Vader.
|-
|a Sith car wash where the bristles on the brushes are little lightsabers
| While an unexpected car wash finale scene seems unlikely, it is not without precedent in cinema; ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolescence_of_Utena Adolescence of Utena]'' featured the title character unexpectedly entering a car wash and transforming into a car (followed by a segue into a car race sequence).
George Lucas, the originator of Star Wars also wrote the movie "American Graffiti," which featured cars prominently. A subsequent movie "Car Wash," has been seen as a commentary on or imitation of "American Graffiti." Including a Sith car wash might reference the relation between these two films.[https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/25/movies/streaming-car-wash.html ‘Car Wash,’ a Raunchy 1970s Comedy Brimming With Meta and Mayhem].
|-
! colspan="2" | Rey's parent #1
|-
| {{w|Luke Skywalker|Luke}}
| Luke Skywalker is the main character of the original Star Wars films. Of all of the characters presented here, he is the one with the greatest likelihood of being Rey's father. When Maz gave Rey Luke's lightsaber, she said "[t]hat lightsaber was Luke's, and his father's before him, and now, it calls to you." Luke does not seem to recognize Rey as his child (or as anybody in particular), but Darth Vader did not recognize Luke or Leia as his children -- and indeed did not know that he had any living children -- until they were grown. However, unlike Anakin Skywalker, or the Luke Skywalker from the pre-Disney Expanded Universe, no canon materials have presented anyone with whom Luke has fallen in love or fathered a child.
|-
|{{w|Princess Leia|Leia}} and {{w|Han Solo|Han}}
|Princess Leia and Han Solo are the other main characters of the original Star Wars films. It is unlikely that Leia or Han are Rey's parents as they did not seem to recognize Rey in any of the sequel trilogy films, nor is there any indication that they have had more than one child (Ben Solo, AKA Kylo Ren).
|-
|{{w|Obi-Wan Kenobi|Obi-Wan}}
|Obi-Wan Kenobi was one of the main characters in the Star Wars prequel trilogy. He, along with Qui-Gon Jinn, discovered Anakin Skywalker, who later became Darth Vader. Kenobi dies at the second act of ''Star Wars: A New Hope'', sacrificing himself to allow Luke, Leia, and Han to escape the Death Star. Marriage and parenthood were forbidden by the Jedi Order, and Obi-Wan generally adhered to the Order's rules more closely than Anakin did; Obi-Wan did feel some mutual romantic attraction with Duchess Satine of Mandalore, but they both chose to remain in their respective organizations rather than pursue a relationship. Also, Obi-Wan stopped having a physical form decade before Rey was conceived.
|-
|a random junk trader
|This is who Kylo Ren claims that Rey is descended from: worthless, random junk traders.
|-
! colspan="2" | Rey's parent #2
|-
|{{w|Poe Dameron|Poe}}
|Poe Dameron is one of the main characters of the Star Wars sequel trilogy. He is a pilot in the Resistance. He is only 13 years older than Rey, and thus is most likely not her father.
|-
|{{w|BB-8}}
|BB-8 is an astromech droid owned by Poe Dameron. It is unlikely that Rey is descended from a (non-living) droid.
|-
|[ {{w|Amilyn Holdo}} /Laura Dern]
|Vice Admiral Amilyn Holdo, portrayed by Laura Dern, was a leader in the Resistance. She dies at the end of ''The Last Jedi'', sacrificing herself by jumping to light speed straight into the First Order's pursuing starship. Randall presents both Admiral Holdo, the character, and Laura Dern, the actress, as separate options for Rey's mother, but the former is not supported by any story material and the latter is impossible (Dern is alive here and now, not "a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away").
|-
|a random junk trader
| (see above)
|-
|that one droid from the Jawa Sandcrawler that says ''Gonk''
|This is [https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/GNK_power_droid a droid] from ''Star Wars: A New Hope'' that says "Gonk". As in the BB-8 entry, it is unlikely that Rey is descended from a droid.
|-
|}

==Transcript==
:<big>Star Wars Spoiler Generator</big>

:[Shown below is a branching flowchart of sorts that begins at the phrase "In this Star Wars movie, our heroes return to take on the First Order and new villain...", then flows through various paths to build up a story.]

:In this Star Wars movie, our heroes return to take on the First Order and new villain...
::Kyle Ren
::Malloc
::Darth Sebelius
::Theranos
::Lord Juul

:...with help from their new friend...
::Kim Spacemeasurer
::Teen Yoda
::Dab Tweetdeck
::Yaz Progestin
::TI-83

:Rey builds a new lightsaber with a...
::beige
::ochre
::mauve
::aquamarine
::taupe

:...blade, and they head out to confront the First Order's new superweapon, the...
::Sun Obliterator
::Moonsquisher
::World Eater
::Planet Zester
::Superconducting Supercollider

:...a space station capable of...
::blowing up a planet with a bunch of beams of energy that combine into one
::blowing up a bunch of planets with one beam of energy that splits into many
::cutting a planet in half and smashing the halves together like two cymbals
::increasing the CO2 levels in a planet's atmosphere, causing rapid heating
::triggering the end credits before the movie is done

:They unexpectedly join forces with their old enemy...
::Boba Fett
::Salacious Crumb
::The Space Slug
::the bottom half of Darth Maul
::Youtube commenters

:...and destroy the superweapon in a battle featuring
::a bow that shoots little lightsaber-headed arrows
::X-Wings and TIE fighters dodging the giant letters of the opening crawl
::a Sith educational display that uses Force Lightning to demonstrate the dielectric breakdown of air
::Kylo Ren putting on another helmet over his smaller one
::a Sith car wash where the bristles on the brushes are little lightsabers

:P.S. Rey's parents are...
::Luke
::Leia
::Han
::Obi-Wan
::a random junk trader

:...and...
::Poe
::BB-8
::Amilyn Holdo
::Laura Dern
::a random junk trader
::that one droid from the Jawa Sandcrawler that says ''Gonk''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]] 
[[Category:Programming]]

2222: Terminator: Dark Fate

2020-01-22T15:26:00Z

ChessCake: /* Explanation */ Someone forgot a TV Tropes warning!

{{comic
| number = 2222
| date = October 30, 2019
| title = Terminator: Dark Fate
| image = terminator_dark_fate.png
| titletext = I was sent here to stop the robot that was sent here to protect the human who was sent here to protect the human who was sent here to destroy the robot that was sent here to vacuum the floor.
}}
==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is on his way to see the new ''[[:Category:Terminator|Terminator]]'' movie; ''{{w|Terminator: Dark Fate}}'', when Cueball's future self comes back to stop him, trying to convince him that, as always, he will be disappointed by sequels. (This was, for instance, the main joke in the last part of [[566: Matrix Revisited]]).

Future Cueball (who we shall call Cueball-2) almost succeeds convincing present-day Cueball (who we shall call Cueball-1) not to go see the movie in spite of good reviews and the fact that the original star {{w|Linda Hamilton}} is back after several movies without her. Due to the nature of time travel, ''Terminator: Dark Fate'' actually negates any movie that came after the first two (''The Terminator'' and ''Terminator 2: Judgment Day''). However, they are interrupted by a second Future Cueball, Cueball-3, who states that in his timeline he hadn't seen it but wished he had, making present-day Cueball exclaim that they should all go see it together.

Cueballs 1, 2, and 3 are interrupted again by the appearance of two more Cueballs, presumably Cueball-1 and Cueball-2 who have seen the movie, regretted it, and travel back in time to stop themselves from seeing it. In the next panel another 5 Cueballs appear, however their reasons for coming back have degraded, with the last one stating that he came back simply because the theater sold out of tickets because all the time travelling Cueballs purchased all of them.

A common trope in science fiction is to {{tvtropes|SetRightWhatOnceWentWrong|Set Right What Once Went Wrong}}, where characters travel in time in order to stop a particular event from happening so as to prevent an undesirable timeline. The {{w|Terminator (franchise)|''Terminator'' series}} film series is famous for this time travel trope. The initial 3 films feature a time traveling robot sent from the dystopian future to kill a particular human, with the future resistance in turn sending a protector to ensure the human's survival. However, the series has never been consistent on even the most broad rules of how time travel affects the timeline, with each movie exploring different possibilities. This is another point of spoof for the comic, featuring multiple recursive time loops until it becomes a jumbled mess.

The final pane also invokes the "killing Hitler" trope. {{w|Adolf Hitler}} was the leader of Nazi Germany during World War II, and it has been a common plot idea to "go back in time to kill Hitler" such as in [[1063: Kill Hitler]], by presuming that the world would be better if World War II never happened. Other works have postulated that the world would be ''worse'' if World War II never happened, as there were many inventions and societal progress that were directly or indirectly a result of the war. This is a similar scenario to the comic above, in which Cueballs decide whether they would be better off seeing or not seeing the movie. In any case, this Cueball is over 70 years too late to kill Hitler, as Hitler himself committed suicide in 1945, shortly before the end of WWII.

The title text is what is said by the next Cueball-11 (the 10th time-traveler), with each link in the chain relating to the Terminator movies. Except at the end where the initial "dangerous robot" turns out to being a robot sent to vacuum the floor. Robotic vacuums, such as the {{w|Roomba}}, are a [[:Category:Roomba|recurring theme]] on xkcd.

The title text split up:
#A robot was sent to clean the floor.
#A human was sent to destroy the robot (this happens in ''{{w|The Terminator}}'')
#A human was sent to protect the previous human (in ''The Terminator'' a human was sent back to protect another human, though the protectee was not a time traveler)
#A robot was sent to protect the previous human (this happens in ''{{w|Terminator 2: Judgment Day}}'')
#Cueball-11 was sent to stop the previous robot
Thus Cueball-11 tries to stop the person that needs to destroy the Roomba by stopping his protector's protector.

This was the second time travel comic in less than a week, as the one two comics before this one, [[2220: Imagine Going Back in Time]], also had Cueball travel back to visit his past self.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is walking to the right. Another Cueball, Cueball-2, appears behind him in a bubble of energy that appears with a loud sound. The bubble floats in the air behind the walking Cueball, with Cueball-2 inside holding his arms out to the side and having his legs bend.]
:''Zap!''

:[Cueball-2 from the sphere is standing to the left of Cueball, pointing at him. Cueball has stopped and is looking back over his shoulder]
:Cueball-2: I've traveled back in time to stop you from seeing ''Terminator: Dark Fate''!

:[Cueball-2 is looking at Cueball who has turned around and holds his arm a bit out to the sides.]
:Cueball: But it looks so good! Reviews are actually decent! Mackenzie Davis! '''''Linda Hamilton is back!'''''

:[Cueball-2 is holding both arms up, hands held down as Cueball stands normally.]
:Cueball-2: I know, but you always think this, and you're always disappointed.
:Cueball: I ''guess''...

:[Zoom out as another Cueball, Cueball-3, appears to the left in a similar bubble of energy and noise as in the first panel, his arms are out to the sides and his legs are bent. Cueball-2 is holding a hand in front of his mouth, while Cueball throws his arms out to the side.]
:''Zap!''
:Cueball-3: Hi, I'm from the future where you didn't watch it and I realize I still kind of want to see it.
:Cueball: Let's go together!

:[Another bubble appears from the right of the three Cueballs, the one in the middle (Cueball-2) holding his arms out. This new bubble contains two Cueballs. The first, Cueball-4, throws up his arms over his head, while Cueball-5 has one arm out in front of him. Both have their legs bent.]
:Cueball-4: No! We're both of you from the future! We're here to stop you!

:[In a large panel five more individual energy bubbles with five Cueballs appear. Two of the bubbles float over the now five Cueballs on the ground. The other three are a bit lower and in a line to the right. Cueball-6 to 10 are in different poses, all with their legs bent, all the way to sitting on the knees in one case and most of them throw their arms out to the side. All look down at the five regardless of their bubble's position. Their text is alternating between being up and down, so the text goes over or below the other text, making it hard to decide which comes first. This may be intentional. But here they are in the order of Cueballs as they come from left to right:]
:Cueball-6: I'm here to stop '''''you!'''''
:Cueball-7: I'm here to stop the robot sent to stop you!
:Cueball-8: I'm here to protect you from...you? I lost track.
:Cueball-9: I'm here to kill Hitler. Did I get the right year?
:Cueball-10: I'm here to get tickets because in like 20 minutes you people buy them all.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hitler]]
[[Category:Terminator]]
[[Category:Time travel]]
[[Category:Roomba]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

2232: Hotel Room Party

2019-12-04T14:01:49Z

ChessCake: /* Explanation */ Someone forgot a TV Tropes warning!

{{comic
| number = 2232
| date = November 22, 2019
| title = Hotel Room Party
| image = hotel_room_party.png
| titletext = [proudly greeting the hotel manager at the door] "Did I do a good job?"
}}

==Explanation==
It is a common trope that really wild parties in hotel rooms, particularly by rock bands on tour, end up trashing that hotel room as crazy party goers break and spill things. Such parties are widely perceived to be very fun, because they got so out of control. In this comic, [[Cueball]] (together with [[Hairy]], [[Ponytail]], [[White Hat]], [[Megan]], and [[Blondie]]) is misunderstanding cause and effect as he plans to throw a party where you trash a hotel room. Instead of planning a wild party, he is planning to calmly and deliberately trash the hotel room by assigning people to do damage. Unlike a real wild party, this is unlikely to be fun{{Citation needed}} to anyone but hardcore geeks. Also, because Cueball is so organized, he is also planning for maintenance and cleaning services to undo the damage, or at least make it easier to dispose of. Since what is shown of such parties is the aftermath, one could argue that leaving the damage is part of the point.

In actual trash-a-hotel-room parties the party goers are so hungover or tired afterward that they don't clean up but leave the damage. This often results in rock bands being charged large amounts of money after the fact for the hotel to do the repairs.

In addition to rock bands, trashing of hotel rooms occurred in real life in the {{w|Tailhook scandal}} of 1991, where it was revealed at an earlier party naval officers [https://books.google.com/books?id=E6YY2P0C8wkC&pg=PA82&lpg=PA82&dq=tailhook+chainsaw&source=bl&ots=RCKVl3BThT&sig=ACfU3U2YI2QhSLY2RgXQqLCkl3tc6DO3tA&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjttqCfqv7lAhXlJDQIHUsSCEgQ6AEwC3oECAkQAQ#v=onepage&q=tailhook%20chainsaw&f=false cut down a wall between two hotel suites with a chainsaw]. {{tvtropes|WildTeenParty|Trashing a home during a teenage party}} while parents are away, and the mad rush to clean up the damage/evidence before the parents return, is a common trope in teen movies.

==Transcript==
:[Hairy, Ponytail, Cueball, White Hat, Megan, and Blondie are standing in a line. Cueball is raising his left hand with his pointer finger extended and is facing his left. He is also pointing to the right. The other five are facing Cueball.]
:Cueball: OK everyone, let's break into teams.
:Cueball: Katie, get the wire cutters and start disassembling the TV. You two can strip the wallpaper. Mike and I will work on shredding the mattress.
:Cueball: You, start shopping for maintenance and cleaning services. We don't want to leave the staff to deal with this.

:[Caption below the panel]:
:It's my first time throwing one of those parties where you trash a hotel room and I want to make sure I get it right.

== Trivia ==
* The title text to this comic originally read '[proudly greeting the hotel manager at the door] "Did I do aa good job?"', but was corrected shortly afterward.
* Cueball gives instructions to a 'Mike' and a 'Katie' while giving instructions. Since Megan is a name explain xkcd has assigned to her, and not one Randall has used more than a few times, any of the three women could be Katie. Similarly, Hairy and White Hat may not be called Mike in any other comic, and neither of them should be thought of generally as Mike.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Blondie]]

1708: Dehydration

2019-01-03T16:47:38Z

ChessCake: Inserted TV Tropes warning

{{comic
| number = 1708
| date = July 18, 2016
| title = Dehydration
| image = dehydration.png
| titletext = I don't care what the research says. Everybody knows you should drink 3,000 glasses of water a day and change your oil every 8 miles.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic plays on the idea that there is little to no consensus in the scientific community with regard to the amount of water a person should drink per day. In the first panel [[White Hat]] presents [[Cueball]] with an innocent and sensible suggestion (although controversial) that people should drink six glasses of water per day. In the second panel, more characters join the discussion, an off-panel voice claims the most {{w|Drinking_water#Requirements|common misconception}} of eight glasses a day, a number which is not supported by scientific research. [[Ponytail]] again goes two higher with ten highlighting the existence of a wide range of so-called 'optimum' liquid consumption 'rule-of-thumb'. Implied here is the variety of health-related books, articles, blogs or other literature published that self-proclaims an optimum drinking formula.

The first sign of absurdity also arises here in the second panel when [[Black Hat]] posits that we need 5 glasses of water every minute. This equates to 7200 glasses of water a day, and using an often cited "standard definition of a glass"[https://www.quora.com/One-glass-of-water-is-how-many-ounces], [https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061002110517AAltamZ], [http://www.sparkpeople.com/ma/How-many-ounces-is-a-glass-of-water?/7/1/27943956] being equal to 8 oz (236 ml), Black Hat is suggesting that we should each drink 1.7 cubic meters (1700 liters) of water a day, not only curing {{w|dehydration}} but also causing {{w|water intoxication}}. This is a typical Black Hat kind of statement that he uses to further emphasizes the absurdity of the problem at hand.

Some time later [[Megan]], despite having read through all studies on dehydration (or low-grade dehydration in particular), still has not come to a solid conclusion. She becomes dizzy, admitting that she's been so focused on her work, she has ironically {{tvtropes|ForgetsToEat|forgotten to eat or drink}}. Her personal experience with dehydration prompts someone off-panel to get some water, but since she couldn't find any consensus in her research, she asks how many glasses they should bring her. Presumably to avoid the question of "how many glasses" entirely, Cueball finally suggests that she should drink straight from the tap, a (tenuously) sincere suggestion seeing her dehydration and following the good advice to drink when you are thirsty until that state has been absolved. In the title text of [[1744: Metabolism]], released less than 3 months after this one, Cueball mentions how he starts to feel bad if he refrains from drinking, just like Megan here.

The title text contains a mix-up between two often stated intervals; drinking eight glasses of water per day (which makes no sense, see above) and changing the engine oil every {{w|3,000_mile_myth|3000 miles}} (almost 5000 km) which may be a good rule, but not a necessity. Obviously it's impossible to drink 3000 glasses of water, and changing the oil every eight miles (about 13 km) would make driving a car very impractical.

The subject of this comic has been graphed in [[715: Numbers]] and mentioned in the what if? ''{{what if|74|Soda Planet}}'':
<blockquote>
The question of how much water we should drink per day is the subject of furious debate—the "8 glasses" thing seems to be a myth—but the amount of water we actually drink per day seems to be about a liter.
</blockquote>

Later, in the what if? ''{{what if|91|Faucet Power}}'', [[Randall]] comments on the preference for even numbers in the graph, and writes:
<blockquote>
The only real solid advice I've heard is that if you're thirsty, you should drink some water.
</blockquote>
''How many glasses is "some water"'' remains an open question...

[[Beret Guy]] and Megan are participants of a thought experiment concerning glasses of water and vacuum in the [[what if?]] ''{{what if|6|Glass Half Empty}}''.

And the six glasses of water that this comic began with is also mentioned later in [[1853: Once Per Day]].

This is a rare example of a normal xkcd comic of few panels manages to use five of the seven [[Template:navbox characters|major characters]] who actually interact. It is the [[:Category:Characters with Hats|first comic]] where Black Hat has spoken (or directly interacted) with White Hat. Until this comic, they have only appeared together in complicated/large drawings where there is no interaction between the two. The only other time this has happened is in [[1881: Drone Training]].

==Transcript==
:[White Hat and Cueball standing together.]
:White Hat: Many people are mildly dehydrated. And don't realize it. You should drink at least six glasses of water per day.

:[A voice comes from off-panel to the left as Ponytail enters from the left and Black Hat from the right in this frameless panel.]
:Off-panel voice: No, ''eight'' glasses!
:Ponytail: I heard ten.
:Black Hat: You need to drink at least five glasses of water per minute.

:[Megan is standing to the left holding a book or a thick binder along her side while holding up a finger with the other hand. A question comes from off-panel to the right. Above her a caption is written in a small frame that breaks the top of this panel's frame:]
:Later:
:Megan: Okay, I just read through every study I could find to try to figure out whether low-grade dehydration is even a real thing.
:Off-panel voice: What did you learn?

:[Megan looking downwards, has two starbursts a circles and two dots above her head signifying dizziness. Cueball stands to the right as another voice comes from off-panel to the right.]
:Megan: If you spend all day doing research and forget to eat or drink, you start to feel pretty bad.
:Off-panel voice: I'll get some water.
:Megan: ''But how many glas'' - Whoa, feeling dizzy.
:Cueball: Maybe you should just drink straight from the tap.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

Elaine Roberts

2018-12-20T19:39:36Z

ChessCake: Inserted TV Tropes warning

{{Infobox character
| image = Elaine_Roberts.png
| imagesize =
| caption = Elaine Roberts seen in [[1337: Part 3]]
| first_appearance = [[342: 1337: Part 2]]
}}

'''Help I'm trapped in a driver's license factory Elaine Roberts''', known simply as '''Elaine''' or '''Elaine Roberts''', is the world's best hacker. She is the oldest daughter of [[Mrs. Roberts]], and has a younger brother nicknamed [[Little Bobby Tables]]. She is primarily featured in the 1337 xkcd series, where she is introduced. She was mentored by {{w|Donald Knuth}} in his mountain hideaway for four years {{tvtropes|SurpassedTheTeacher|until she bested him}}. She has broken into {{w|NSA}} headquarters with the help of {{w|Adrian Lamo}}. She helped {{w|Steve Jobs}} develop a vision of the future Apple, as well as having fought MPAA and RIAA ninja.

According to trivia in the title text of [[342: 1337: Part 2]], "Elaine" is actually her middle name. Her actual "first" name is "Help I'm trapped in a driver's license factory" as stated in the title text of [[327: Exploits of a Mom]].

When she is drawn as an adult, she has white shoulder-length hair, and is a named version of [[Blondie]], like how [[Rob]] is a named version of [[Cueball]].

{{navbox-characters}}

[[Category:Characters]]

251: CD Tray Fight

2018-12-14T15:55:37Z

ChessCake: Inserted TV Tropes warning

{{comic
| number = 251
| date = April 20, 2007
| title = CD Tray Fight
| image = cd_tray_fight.png
| titletext = This is silly, of course. The enemy will be born in the network.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic refers to the behavior of a {{w|Optical disc drive#Loading mechanisms|tray loading optical disc drive}} of a desktop computer. When the tray is opened and the user is reaching for the disc, a process or task on the computer can, at that exact inopportune time, request that the disc drive close its tray. Alternatively, accidentally bumping the open tray may engage the auto-close feature, resulting in the same scenario.

This results in a sort of "tug of war" between the user who is trying to remove the disc and the CD drive trying to retract, and it is this tug of war that worries Cueball (or, more likely, Randall) that the "Robot War" is impending. The title text, however, points out that this fear is irrational, not because we'll always be able to win the tug of war (even if the computer reprograms itself to ignore our pull, we are physically stronger than the retraction mechanism) or because the act is ultimately pointless (it's an indignant protest at best), but because any robot war will, necessarily, have to start in "the network" to get any traction.

A {{tvtropes|RobotWar|Robot War}} is a recurring theme in science fiction where humans develop robots that become self-aware and start a war against humanity. A well known example of this theme is found in the {{w|Terminator franchise}} where, as the title text suggests, a military computer network ({{w|Skynet (Terminator)|Skynet}}) becomes self-aware and starts a world war to kill all humans. This event is also parodied in [[1046: Skynet]], but with skynet failing due to {{w|semantic satiation}}.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is standing, holding a CD tray which is half-in his computer. There are other CDs on the floor.]
:Cueball: Hey. Hey! Stop retracting my CD!
:I feel uncomfortable when my computer physically struggles with me. Sure, I can overpower it now, but it feels like a few short steps from here to the robot war.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Robots]]

Talk:751: Swimsuit Issue

2018-12-13T15:08:07Z

ChessCake: comment

I feel like the kid in this comic, but on a much tamer scale. [[User:ChessCake|ChessCake]] ([[User talk:ChessCake|talk]]) 15:08, 13 December 2018 (UTC)

Talk:1222: Pastime

2018-12-07T19:05:55Z

ChessCake: Talk section - adding comment

Total waste. There are 168 hours in a week, and some people get things done in only four. {{unsigned ip|70.197.5.217}}

:To be fair, most people are forced to spend 40 hours a week by not getting things done just so they earn some money for food. Also, you don't exactly get things done while you sleep, but you will not get anything done if you don't sleep enough either. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 08:34, 7 June 2013 (UTC)

:: <Stops self from ranting about work-pessimism> OK, maybe I didn't, but I will now. And as regards sleep: http://xkcd.com/320/ [[Special:Contributions/220.224.246.97|220.224.246.97]] 22:01, 9 June 2013 (UTC)

Let's not overlook the main title "Pastime"; after slugging it out all day at work, they come home and spend their time needlessly worrying when they could read, be creative, or do something meaningful. [[User:Galois|Galois]] ([[User talk:Galois|talk]]) 17:54, 7 June 2013 (UTC)

:While the main title "Pastime" is mentioned here, it's not discussed anywhere within the article. I believe we miss his point entirely if we don't address the title of the comic within the explanation. Since its formal definition specifically includes the concept of an activity for one's enjoyment, and the title text ends with "a hell of a waste", I suspect Randall is encouraging readers to spend time doing things that they enjoy! We waste time by spending all day worrying about things we can't control, and we aren't enjoying ourselves. In other words, find a pastime and spend time on it! --[[User:Ianrbibtitlht|Ianrbibtitlht]] ([[User talk:Ianrbibtitlht|talk]]) 22:02, 29 May 2017 (UTC)

I thought the joke here was that this is something that everyone does. [[Special:Contributions/76.106.251.87|76.106.251.87]] 00:42, 9 June 2013 (UTC)

Whoever linked to tvtropes is a monster. I burned three onions and my house while reading.
:[[609|You're not alone]], anonymous poster. [[User:NealCruco|NealCruco]] ([[User talk:NealCruco|talk]]) 14:13, 22 January 2014 (UTC)

THANK (your religious figure(s) if you have one) that someone put that TV Tropes warning! I wanted to be efficient today. [[User:ChessCake|ChessCake]] ([[User talk:ChessCake|talk]]) 19:05, 7 December 2018 (UTC)

Talk:1630: Quadcopter

2018-12-06T18:51:33Z

ChessCake: Talk section - adding comment

Despite the obvious nature documentary joke, could this maybe also be making fun of people's fear that robots will take over the world someday soon? And in the same tone of voice try to convince them that technological development is natural and is nothing to be afraid of?[[User:Bon|Bon]] ([[User talk:Bon|talk]]) 06:27, 15 January 2016 (UTC)

This seems to be at least a partial reference to a scene in Harry Potter where they learn to ride broomsticks for the first time. [[User:Mlake|Mlake]] ([[User talk:Mlake|talk]]) 07:11, 15 January 2016 (UTC)
:I cannot see the connections at all... --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 21:12, 15 January 2016 (UTC)

Would it not make more sense if birds carried him away? [[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.147|141.101.104.147]] 10:53, 15 January 2016 (UTC)
:That's the joke. -Pennpenn [[Special:Contributions/108.162.250.162|108.162.250.162]] 01:53, 18 January 2016 (UTC)

Is it really about the robots becoming sentient, or is it the idea that the government doesn't want him teaching this class and sent the drones to take him away? [[User:Schiffy|Schiffy]] ([[User_talk:Schiffy|Speak to me]]|[[Special:Contributions/Schiffy|What I've done]]) 13:26, 15 January 2016 (UTC)

Are quadcopters used as camera mounts in filming nature documentaries? This is the angle I first took on reading this comic. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.152.179|162.158.152.179]] 13:30, 15 January 2016 (UTC)
:They are used to filming the lava lake in [[1608]]. This is references above. So probably also wild life --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 21:12, 15 January 2016 (UTC)

It seems to me that this is a pun on the term Predator drone. Predator drones are not quadcopters but both are commonly referred to simply as "drone". In this case it seems that cue ball has fallen prey to a predator and the group is looking at it similarly to watching a cat kill a squirrel. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.54|173.245.54.54]] 13:38, 15 January 2016 (UTC)
:Great. Now added in a more clear way to the comic explanation than when I read it before. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 21:12, 15 January 2016 (UTC)

The explanation now sounds as if it would be better idea to just make all predators extinct just to save the poor prey. Letting nature take it's course IS the correct behavior. No matter how cute you think rabbits are, anyone from Australia can confirm that it's better if there IS some predator killing them and prevent overpopulation. The humans ARE overpopulated and any action they do is making the effect of that overpopulation worse: by creating areas where humans don't act, we may be able to preserve nature not harmed by the overpopulation, as opposed to behaving same everywhere, killing all predators and then kill and consume all prey and then go extinct because there will be nothing more to eat. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 16:09, 16 January 2016 (UTC)
:No it is not that. Most of the time you are not watching when a predator attacks, or a pup is left behind by it's mother to die from thirst. And you should not seek out this to change it. But if you are there in the nature and sees it... Maybe then you should!? I stongly belive this is what Randall hints at especially in the title text --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 11:36, 18 January 2016 (UTC)

"...grab a human being and fly off with him, just like a pack of wolves..." o_O --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.218.148|108.162.218.148]] 20:46, 17 January 2016 (UTC)
:True have amended the wording. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 11:36, 18 January 2016 (UTC)

Ponytail could be making a pun. "No. It's cruel, but we have to let nature take it's '''course'''." Cueball was teaching quadcopter flying school, so the drones could have carried him off for a course. -- [[Special:Contributions/162.158.2.219|162.158.2.219]] 00:05, 18 January 2016 (UTC)
: You should add that to the explanation. [[User:Mikemk|Mikemk]] ([[User talk:Mikemk|talk]]) 05:41, 18 January 2016 (UTC)

Someone keeps posting that it is the Cueball student that controls the drones! It is a completely farfetched idea that he could do so with one remote (which by the way is of course for the qadcopter behind the teacher, who has given it to the student to try it out). He should then control three others copters in unison in a very very complicated maneuver while holding it down and looking anywhere but at the drones when they enter the image! Stop it! It has already been deleted once before me doing it now. So please stop reposting that idea! --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 11:41, 18 January 2016 (UTC)

These are all interesting theories, but I think what Randall is referring to is the way eagles teach their young to fly: by taking them up to a great height, and then dropping them. This might seem cruel, but we stand back and let nature take its course. The joke is that, at quadcopter flying school, Cueball is the one being taught to fly. Unlike the eagles, it seems unlikely that Cueball will either learn to fly, or that the quadcopters will catch him when he gets too close to the ground. -- [[User:Aquarello7|Aquarello7]] ([[User talk:Aquarello7|talk]]) 15:02, 19 January 2016 (UTC)

It's possible that the Cueball that was abducted by drones is the same in the Right Click downloadable image, as a Cueball is being held up by three drones (unattached/broke free from one). I don't know how to properly do hyperlinks, but I wanted to bring it up anyway. [[User:ChessCake|ChessCake]] ([[User talk:ChessCake|talk]]) 18:51, 6 December 2018 (UTC)

1833: Code Quality 3

2018-12-06T15:14:27Z

ChessCake: fixed typo: changed "no" to "not".

{{comic
| number = 1833
| date = May 5, 2017
| title = Code Quality 3
| image = code_quality_3.png
| titletext = It's like a half-solved cryptogram where the solution is a piece of FORTH code written by someone who doesn't know FORTH.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is the third in the [[:Category:Code Quality|Code Quality]] series and is a direct continuation of [[1695: Code Quality 2]] released a good year before this one. It was followed
almost half a year later by [[1926: Bad Code]], where the name changed but the code quality did not. Again in this comic, as in the previous, Cueball does not directly appear, only speaking off-panel; however, as it is a continuation of the series, it is clear that this is Cueball's code.

In the first panel, Ponytail references {{w|query string|query strings}}, which store information, such as search queries or page numbers, relevant to the URL. Query strings are not meant to be especially human-readable, so a song based on one would likely not be a good one.

A tactical flashlight is a light that can be mounted on a gun for use in low-light scenarios. They tend to be very durable and very bright. Different models have different features and capabilities, so they are given cool-sounding model numbers. [http://www.json.org/ JSON] (JavaScript Object Notation) is a subset of JavaScript used, by many programming languages, as a convenient way of recording structured data. It's not clear what else would be in the table (tables typically have more than one column) and JSON technically has arrays and objects (dictionaries) but not tables, but a JSON array of objects of these model numbers would look something like:

[ { "model": "TACT X700"},
{ "model": "Atomic Beam USA 5000" },
{ "model": "E2D LED Defender" },
{ "model": "J5 Tactical V1-Pro" }
]

{{w|Alan Turing}} was a British theoretical computer scientist, often considered the father of the field. His [https://www.cs.virginia.edu/~robins/Turing_Paper_1936.pdf 1936 paper] outlined Turing machines, a theoretical model for computing, as well as computability and the halting problem. Theoretical computer science is very different from practical coding; understanding the contents of the paper would not at all help a coder to understand today's algorithms, design patterns, and best practices. This is not helped by a page of Javascript example code. {{w|Javascript}} is a popular programming language which makes web pages responsive to user inputs, and while Javascript arguably solves the problem in a practical manner (as opposed to Turing's very theoretical work), it does get a lot of criticism - for instance it is {{w|Strong and weak typing|nearly untyped}}, which allows the programmer to do very interesting things, like {{w|JSFuck}}. Then, example code is used to explain a concept in programming or demonstrate how a program works, but it does not actually run on any computer. "Guessing everything in between" would involve attempting to write code using skills that could range anywhere from the most basic programming to Turing's extremely advanced ideas.

In the final panel, Ponytail references {{w|leet|leet-speak}}, in which symbols are replaced with similar-looking symbols, and a {{w|manifesto}}, a statement of a person or group's beliefs and intentions. A manifesto from a survivalist cult leader might be nonsensical, even before being translated to leet-speak. Memory allocation is a low-level computer programming concept; most modern languages have features that take care of memory allocation for the programmer, possibly implying that Cueball does not know how to use these features.

At this point Cueball, quickly becoming impatient with Ponytail's sass in what is supposed to be a formal code review, retorts that if she can't start giving him the constructive criticism that he's looking for, he can always find someone else to replace her. Ponytail smugly responds that nobody else would be able to stomach his code for more than one sitting, and that she's the only one he's got.

{{w|Forth_(programming_language)#Programmer.27s_perspective|Forth}} is an old programming language that tends to be difficult to read. It is stack-based, meaning that values to be operated on are moved on a {{w|Stack (abstract data type)|stack}} before the operation to be performed is given. Using stacks can be considered different from programming languages that resemble natural human language (e.g. {{w|COBOL}}). While stack-based computing makes some problems very simple (for example, it is relatively simple to design a Forth compiler, or reversing the order of an array) and uses less computing resources, such programming languages are not easy to learn. Since Forth allows the programmer to rewrite the language, or define their own language, and it does not enforce restrictions like data types, it may be especially easy for novices to write cryptic code.

A {{w|cryptogram}} is a cipher puzzle, generally one easy enough to be solved manually. The title text implies that the code is so bad that it looks like unreadable FORTH code that is missing random characters.

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail sitting in front of a computer screen typing. Cueball speaks only off-panel, but since this is a direct continuation of comic 1513 and 1695: Code Quality and Code Quality 2 where Cueball is shown, there can be no doubt it is him.]
:Ponytail: Your code looks like song lyrics written using only the stuff that comes after the question mark in a URL.
:Cueball (off-panel): Sorry.
:[Zoom in on Ponytail's upper body.]
:Ponytail: It's like a JSON table of model numbers for flashlights with "tactical" in their names.
:[Zoom back out again. Ponytail has lifted her hands off the table and is slightly leaning back against the chair.]
:Ponytail: Like you read Turing's 1936 paper on computing and a page of JavaScript example code and guessed at everything in between.
:[Zoom in again on Ponytail's face.]
:Ponytail: It's like a leet-speak translation of a manifesto by a survivalist cult leader who's for some reason obsessed with memory allocation.
:Cueball (off-panel): I can get someone else to review my code.
:Ponytail: Not more than once, I bet.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Code Quality]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Code Quality 03]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Cueball Computer Problems]]