explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1555: Exoplanet Names 2

2015-07-24T15:33:32Z

Crisco 1492: +

{{comic
| number = 1555
| date = July 24, 2015
| title = Exoplanet Names 2
| image = exoplanet_names_2.png
| titletext = I'm going to drive this Netherlands joke so far into the ground they'll have to build levees around it to keep the sea out.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Complete table entries, check all table text (some black entries have changed), add wiki links, add explanations, red text to match comic?, detail on NASA announcement}}

This comic is a continuation of [[1253: Exoplanet Names]], and was published the day after NASA announced the discovery of a number of planets, including an Earth-like planet, Kepler-452b.
The {{w|International Astronomical Union}} (IAU) is the organisation which is responsible for naming celestial bodies (planets, stars, etc).

This table explains each entry in the comic table. The "New" column indicates if an entry is an addition since [[1253: Exoplanet Names]]. A "U" indicates the entry was updated.
{| class="wikitable"
! Star !! Planet !! New !! Suggested Name !! Explanation
|-
| rowspan=7 | {{w|Gliese 667}} || {{w|Gliese 667 Cb|b}} || N || Space Planet || A very unimaginative name; every planet is in space.
|-
|{{w|Gliese 667 Cc|c}} || N || PILF || Pun of {{w|MILF pornography|MILF}}, i.e. ''Planet I'd Like to Fuck''. Planet c is a relatively hot planet, within the habitable zone.
|-
|{{w|Gliese 667 Cd|d}} || N || A Star || "A {{w|Star}}" is obviously a bad name for a planet. A* (pronounced "A star") is already used in in astronomy, for example the Milky Way's black hole core is {{w|Sagittarius A*}}. "A star" is also the name for the character {{w|asterisk}} and the name of the popular {{w|A* search algorithm}} in computer science.
|-
|{{w|Gliese 667 Ce|e}} || N || e'); DROP TABLE PLANETS;-- || [[Mrs.Roberts]] is probably trying to use {{w|SQL injection}} like in [[327|Exploits of a Mom]], in which her son [[Robert'); DROP TABLE students;--]] caused the school a lot of trouble when his name was put in. The idea here is that the {{w|IAU}} would enter the name into their system and promptly lose all of their data pertaining to planets. Note that Planet e is located in the habitable zone of the star system.
|-
|{{w|Gliese 667 Cf|f}} || N || Blogosphere || rowspan = 2 | Weird ''{{w|blog}}''-related terms are a recurring theme in xkcd. See, for instance, [[181|comic 181]].
|-
|{{w|Gliese 667 Cg|g}} || N || Blogodrome
|-
|[http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_667c_h/ h] || N || Earth || Planet candidate h is about the mass of the Earth, and described as "tantalizing": [http://www.aanda.org/articles/aa/abs/2013/08/aa21331-13/aa21331-13.html A dynamically-packed planetary system around GJ with three super-Earths in its habitable zone]. See also ([[1231: Habitable Zone]]). Like several other names below, naming a second planet Earth would be highly confusing.
|-
| rowspan=5 | {{w|Tau Ceti}} || [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/tau_cet_b/ b] || N || Sid Meier's Tau Ceti B || This refers to the game {{w|Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri}}.
|-
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/tau_cet_c/ c] || N || Giant Dog Planet || {{w|VY Canis Majoris}} is one of the largest known stars at our galaxy and belongs to the constellation {{w|Canis Major}}, Latin for "greater dog". The constellation further contains {{w|Sirius}}, the brightest star in the night sky, also called "Dog Star".
|-
|[http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/tau_cet_d/ d] || N || Tiny Dog Planet || cf. {{w|Canis Minor}}, Latin for "lesser dog", another constellation.
|-
|{{w|Tau Ceti e|e}} || N || Phil Plainet || A reference to {{w|Phil Plait}}, a.k.a. The Bad Astronomer.
|-
|{{w|Tau Ceti f|f}} || N || Unicode Snowman || The Unicode character [http://www.fileformat.info/info/unicode/char/2603/index.htm ☃] may be a reference to the planet's estimated surface temperature of -40 °C (-40 °F). However, this name would be pronounced differently (being a symbol, not a word or name) in different languages. Planets in our solar system are assigned to {{w|Astronomical symbols|astronomical symbols}} like ♁ for Earth or ♂ for Mars.
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Gliese 832}} || {{w|Gliese 832 b|b}} || N || Asshole Jupiter || This massive planet orbits a {{w|red dwarf}} star at the longest known period of 3416 days at this category. Many exoplanets are described as "Hot Jupiters" because they are high-temperature gas giants; if one were to read "hot" as a description of attractiveness rather than temperature, one might generate names like this one.
|-
| {{w|Gliese 832 c|c}} || Y || Waterworld starring Kevin Kostner || Waterworld ([http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114898/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1 imdb]) is a 1995 film starring Kevin Costner about Earth almost completely covered in water. It is unclear whether the surname being spelt incorrectly with a 'K' is intentional.
|-
| rowspan=6 | {{w|Gliese 581}} || {{w|Gliese 581 b|b}} || N || Waist-deep Cats || {{w|Waist Deep}} is an action film from 2006, and the {{w|Lolcat}} meme does not need explaining. The name may also simply be a reference to being "waist-deep" in (i.e. surrounded by many) cats.
|-
| {{w|Gliese|c}} || N || Planet #14 || About 200th discovered exoplanet (in 2007); reported to be the first potentially Earth-like planet in the habitable zone of its star, though that is in doubt now. The joke might be that like "Space Planet", "Planet #14" is a generic and unoriginal name. Also note that this is the 15th entry in the table so the numbering is {{w|Zero-based_numbering|zero-based}}.
An interesting (?) coincidence is that the 14th and 15th {{w|Definition of planet#Minor planets|Minor planets}} (then called asteroids) were discovered in 1851; see see {{w|List of minor planets: 1–1000}}. If they were to be counted among the planets of the {{w|Solar System}}, as was sometimes done then, the 14th known planetary body would be {{w| 7 Iris|Iris}} (discovered in 1847, a year before {{w|Neptune}}).
|-
|{{w|Gliese 581 d|d}} || N || Ballderaan || A {{w|wikt:balls|crude pun}} on the planet {{w|Alderaan}} from the ''{{w|Star Wars}}'' universe.
|-
|{{w|Gliese 581 e|e}} || N || Eternia Prime || {{w|Eternia}} is a fictional planet, venue of the ''{{w|Masters of the Universe}}'' animated series and toy collection.
|-
| {{w|Gliese 581 f|f}} || N || Taupe Mars || {{w|Kim Stanley Robinson}}'s award-winning {{w|Mars trilogy}} (''Red Mars, Green Mars, Blue Mars'' after various stages of {{w|terraformation}}). {{w|Taupe}} is a brownish-grey colour.
|-
|{{w|Gliese|g}} || N || Jelly-Filled Planet || Possibly a reference to the conjecture that this tidally locked planet has an isolated habitable zone under the substellar point, akin to the pocket of jelly in a jelly doughnut.
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Epsilon Eridani}} || {{w|Epsilon Eridani b|b}} || N || Skydot || [http://skydot.lanl.gov SkyDOT] is the Sky Database for Objects in Time-Domain run by {{w|LANL}} for the {{w|U.S. Dept. of Energy}} and includes data for [http://skydot.lanl.gov/nsvs/star.php?num=14831575&mask=32004 Epsilon Eridani] that can be used to constrain the orbital parameters of ε Eri b. It may also refer to how objects in space may appear as bland, bright dots in the night sky.
|-
| {{w|Epsilon Eridani c#Planet_c|c}} || N || Laser Noises || A {{w|Laser}} does not produce {{w|Noise (electronics)|noise}} in the signal sense; it only works at a well defined frequency. In science fiction films, however, laser weapon discharges are usually accompanied by sound. Sun-like Epsilon Eridani became a popular setting for science fiction after its publicity as a target of the {{w|Project Ozma}} experiment.
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Gliese 176}} || {{w|Gliese 176 b|b}} || N || Pandora || The mythological name {{w|Pandora}} fulfills most of IAU's guidelines and has been popular for planets in science fiction; most recently and famously is {{w|Pandora (Avatar)|the venue}} of James Cameron's ''{{w|Avatar (film)|Avatar}}'' (although actually it is not a planet but just a moon of a gas giant in Alfa Centauri A). It is also a hellish planet from {{w|Frank Herbert}}'s {{w|Frank Herbert bibliography#WorShip novels|WorShip}} series of novels, a jungle planet in Brothers Strugatsky's {{w|Noon Universe}} and the planet used in {{w|Borderlands (video game)|Borderlands Games}}.
|-
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_176_c/ c] || N || Pantera || Named for the {{w|Pantera|heavy metal band}} - which was named after an Italian sports car, the {{w|De Tomaso Pantera}}.
|-
| {{w|Kepler-61}} || {{w|Kepler-61b|b}} || N || GoldenPalace.com || A gambling website, known for {{w|GoldenPalace.com|paying to have their name in unusual places}} (like forehead tattoos, species names...).
|-
| {{w|Groombridge 34|Groombridge 34A}} || b || Y || Hot Mess || This is a reference to the phrase [http://arresteddevelopment.wikia.com/wiki/Hot_mess Hot mess] from the popular television show Arrested Development.
|-
| Kepler-442 || {{w|Kepler-442b|b}} || Y || Seas of Toothpaste ||
|-
| Gliese-442 || b || Y || This one weird planet || Most likely a reference to {{w|clickbait}} articles found on the internet.
|-
| rowspan=3 | EPIC-201367065 || b || Y || Sulawesi || {{w|Sulawesi|An island }} in the Indonesian archiepleago.
|-
| c || Y || Huge Soccer Ball ||
|-
| d || Y || Geodude || [[http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Geodude_%28Pok%C3%A9mon%29 Geodude]] is a pokemon characterised by its ball-like shape. It resembles a clump of rocks.
|-
| rowspan=5 | Kepler-296 || b || Y || Kerbal Space Planet || {{w|Kerbal Space Program}} is a game where model rockets are launched on a scale version of the Earth. It has been referenced in xkcd a number of times ([[1106]], [[1244]], [[1356]]). Note, though, that the actual planet corresponding to the Earth in the game is called "Kerbin".
|-
| c || Y || A$aplanet || Most probably a pun on the rap group {{w|A$AP Mob}} and their most prominient member {{w|A$AP Rocky}}. May also be a pun on {{w|Kesha}}, also written as Ke$ha. In that case the c of the planet's designation would belong to the name.
|-
| d || Y || {{w|Jurassic World}} || Jurassic world is the most recent movie in the Jurassic park siries
|-
| {{w|Kepler-296e|e}} || Y || This Land || Reference to Wash's dialogue in the pilot episode of {{w|Firefly_(TV_Series)}}.
|-
| {{w|Kepler-296f|f}} || Y || Springfield || The name of {{w|Springfield (The Simpsons)|the town}} in which animated sitcom {{w|The Simpsons}} is set; possibly a reference to the running joke that the state in which Springfield is located has never been named.
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|HR 7722}} || {{w|HR 7722 b|b}} || Y || Betelgeuse || rowspan=2 | {{w|Betelgeuse}} is a star in the constellation Orion. It is commonly pronounced as "beetlejuice". {{w|Beetlejuice}}, however is a film directed by {{w|Tim Burton}} from 1988. Similarly to Dune/Arrakis and the two Uranuses, naming two planets with names that are generally regarded to be identical would cause severe confusion in astronomical discussions.
|-
| {{w|HR 7722 c|c}} || Y || Beetlejuice ||
|-
| EPIC201912552 || b || Y || Netherlands VI || As the title text a reference to [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/what_if%3F What if?]'s [http://www.what-if.xkcd.com/53/ 53], [http://www.what-if.xkcd.com/54/ 54] and comic [[1551: Pluto]]. Due to a drain in the Earth's ocean the Netherlands have not to worry about getting flooded, anymore and take the opportunity to conquer the world (including Antarctica becoming South Netherlands) in What if 53, Mars (New Netherlands) in What if 54, and a section of Pluto (again: New Netherlands) in comic 1551. This may also be a possible reference to [[1519: Venus]], but there seems to be no relation to the other conquests of the Netherlands. Maybe it should also be mentioned, that {{w|New Netherland}} was a Dutch colony with {{w|New York City}}, formally known as {{w|New Amsterdam}}, as its capital. So the name "New Netherlands" can be assumed as "historically correct", while "Netherlands VI" isn't.
|-
| rowspan=3 | Gliese 3293 || b || Y || Antispit ||
|-
| c || Y || Google Earth || {{w|Google Earth}} is a service, similar to Google Maps, which projects satellite data on a 3D globe that can be zoomed in on. Other features, such as models of buildings, can also appear.
|-
| d || Y || Planet of the Apes (Disambiguation) || The way a Wikipedia article would be titled, for example, to distinguish from the {{w|Planet of the Apes (novel)|the original novel}}, {{w|Planet of the Apes (1968 film)|the first film}}, {{w|Planet of the Apes (2001 film)|the Tim Burton remake}} and {{w|Rise of the Planet of the Apes|the reboot series}}. In each adaptation, a group of astronauts lands on what is believed to be a "Planet of the Apes", which turns out to be a post-apocalyptic Earth.
|-
| rowspan=2 | Kepler-283 || b || Y || ˈjʊərənəs || rowspan = 2 | Two alternative pronunciations (written in {{w|International Phonetic Alphabet}}) for the planet name Uranus; the first one translates as "YU-ri-nus" (Urine-us), while the second translates as "you-RAIN-us", or, more commonly, "your anus".
|-
| c || Y || jʊ'reɪnəs
|-
! colspan=4 | (right column)
|-
| rowspan=4 | {{w|Upsilon Andromedae}} || b || Y || Fourthmeal || {{w|Taco_Bell}} has an ad campaign adding a meal after dinner. Possibly also a reference to {{w|Hobbit}}s and [http://askmiddlearth.tumblr.com/post/41765286488/the-seven-daily-hobbit-meals seven daily meals].
|-
|{{w|Upsilon Andromedae c|c}} || N || Stampy || The name of the elephant from the {{w|Simpsons}} episode {{w|Bart Gets an Elephant}}.
|-
|{{w|Upsilon Andromedae d|d}} || N || Moonchild || The name Bastian gives the Childlike Empress in {{w|The Neverending Story}}.
|-
|{{w|Upsilon Andromedae e|e}} || N || Ham Sphere || [http://www.hamsphere.com HamSphere] is a {{w|Amateur radio|Ham Radio}} simulator program. Ham radio uses designated radio frequencies for non-commercial exchange of messages and more. A pun of Hemisphere.
|-
| rowspan=3 | {{w|. Eridani|HD 20794}} || [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/hd_20794_b/ b] || N || Cosmic Sands || style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS', 'Comic Sans'" | A {{w|pun}} on the name of the font {{w|Comic Sans}}. (See also: [[590|590: Papyrus]].)
|-
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/hd_20794_c/ c] || N || Legoland || {{w|Legoland}} is a chain of {{w|theme park}}s owned by the {{w|Lego Group}}. Potentially a reference to the movie {{w|The World's End (film)|The World's End}}, in which the protagonist Gary King tells the alien invaders to "get in your rocket and fuck off back to Legoland".
|-
|[http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/hd_20794_d/ d] || N || Planet with Arms || A reference to the [http://www.thecolorsofmysoul.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/The-Hitchhikers-Guide-to-the-Galaxy.jpg early covers] of {{w|Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy}}?
|-
| {{w|HD 85512}} || {{w|HD 85512 b|b}} || N || Lax Morality || Possibly a parody of science fiction in which certain planets are suggested to be uniformly... lax in morals (i.e. full of sex, drugs, etc.). See http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Planetville and related.
|-
| rowspan=6 | {{w|HD 40307}} || {{w|HD 40307 b|b}} || N || Good Planet || Similar to the above, except with good planets. May also be yet another non-descriptive name, like "Space Planet" and "Planet #14".
|-
|{{w|HD|c}} || N || ProblemLand || See above.
|-
|{{w|HD 40307 d|d}} || N || Slickle || This is a reference to "[http://zdarsky.tumblr.com/post/2837139960 The Petals Fall Twice]", which was made as a humorous example of bad fan-fiction. The word itself is a portmanteau of "slowly", "licked", and "tickled".
|-
|{{w|HD 40307 e|e}} || N || Spare Parts || This suggests that the planet is "worthless" or "junk". This is false, of course. May be a reference to the fact it is a planet with nothing much different from the other planets.
|-
|{{w|HD 40307 f|f}} || N || New Jersey VI || Refers to the state of {{w|New Jersey}}; may be an insult to either.
|-
|{{w|HD|g}} || N || How Do I Join the IAU || This implies that the user "got lost" on the IAU website and thought that the "planet name suggestion" input was for general queries.
|-
| rowspan=3 | {{w|Gliese 163}} || [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_163_b/ b] || N || Neil Tyson's Mustache || {{w|Neil deGrasse Tyson}} is a famous American astrophysicist and science communicator who does maintain a distinguished mustache.
|-
|{{w|Gliese|c}} || N || help@gmail.com || Similar to "How Do I Join the IAU", this implies that the user confused the "planet suggestion" text box for a new email they are trying to send
|-
|[http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_163_d/ d] || N || Hair-Covered Planet || Refers to the well-known {{w|Hairy ball theorem}} of topology.
|-
| {{w|Pi Mensae}} || {{w|Pi Mensae b|b}} || N || Moon Holder || {{w|Jupiter}} has more than 60 discovered moons, and still counting... A planet ten times more massive ''must'' also be a Moon Holder.
|-
| {{w|HD 189733}} || {{w|HD 189733 b|b}} || N || Permadeath || A well-characterized "{{w|Hot Jupiter}}" at a temperature range of 973 ± 33 K to 1,212 ± 11 K. The name refers to the feature of {{w|Permanent death}} common in many RPGs and roguelikes.
|-
| {{w|Kepler-22}} || {{w|Kepler-22 b|b}} || N || Blue Ivy || Blue Ivy Carter is the daughter of musicians {{w|Beyoncé}} and {{w|Jay-Z}}.
|-
| KOI-2474 || b || Y || Store-Brand Earth || A {w|Store brand} is a line of products branded by a retailer. They have a reputation for being lower quality than other brands, and are often marketed similarly to other brands. This is implying that this is a cheaper version of Earth.
|-
| Kepler-438 || b || U || Unicorn Thresher || As far as we can tell, Kepler-438b is in the vicinity of the constellation Monoceros, aka the Unicorn. (This was labeled Kepler-437b in the previous chart)
|-
| KOI-2418 || b || N || Spherical Discworld || {{w|The Discworld}} is the fictional setting for British author {{w|Terry Pratchett}}'s {{w|Discworld}} series of humorous fantasy novels; it consists of a large disc supported by four elephants themselves standing on top of a turtle flying through space.
|-
| Kepler-438 || b || Y || Emergency Backup Earth || This candidate planet has an {{w|Earth Similarity Index}} of 0.89, making it one of the most habitable {{w|Kepler object of interest}}. The name suggests that it could be used as a backup in case something happened to our current planet.
|-
| Kepler-3010 || b || N || Feeeoooooooop || Possibly the onomatopoeia for something getting sucked into a black hole.
|-
| Kepler-442 || b || N || Liz || ...Just a regular name (for a person, not a planet). Maybe a reference to the Magic School Bus.
|-
| rowspan=3 | 82 Eridani || b || Y || Horsemeat Surface||
|-
| c || Y || The Moon || This name would cause confusion with the Earth's moon, which in English is called The Moon. It is also a poor name choice as 82 Eridani c is not a moon, but a planet.
|-
| d || Y || Constant Saxophones ||
|-
| HD 102365 || b || Y || Little Big Planet || This refers to the videogame {{w|LittleBigPlanet|LittleBigPlanet}}.
|-
| rowspan=2 | Gliese 180 || b || Y || Dune || rowspan=2 | Both references to Frank Herbert's {{w|Dune_(novel)|Dune}} book series. The planet Arrakis (informally referred to as 'Dune') is the central planet in the mythology, where the mind-enhancing substance 'spice' comes from. Use of spice enables, among others, supercomputing-like mental computation as well as hyperspace navigation. Having two neighbouring planets with names that are historically used to refer to a single planet would sow further confusion in the already extensive catalog of planet names.
|-
| c || Y || Arrakis ||
|-
| Formalhaut || b || Y || Swarm of Bees ||
|-
| rowspan=5 | Kepler-62 || b || Y || Sporty || rowspan=5 | A reference to [[1554: Spice Girls]], where Megan was unable to list the members of the pop group. In this case the names are correct.
|-
| c || Y || Baby ||
|-
| d || Y || Scary ||
|-
| e || Y || Ginger ||
|-
| f || Y || Posh ||
|-
| rowspan=3 | HD 69830 || b || Y || Planet.xxx || {{w|.xxx}} is a controversial top level domain (like to .com and .net) that is intended to distinguish porn sites from other types of website.
|-
| c || Y || Novella || A {{w|novella}} is a form of prose with length between a {{w|short story}} and a {{w|novel}}. Common examples of novellas are romance literature centering around intense lustful encounters in cheap paperback books, though also 'serious' literature may be in novella form.
|-
| d || Y || Sexoplanet || Like the other two planets orbiting this star, the "69" in the stars designation has lead to a sex joke: All planets in this comic are "exo-planets", planets not orbiting our sun. Adding a single "s" in front results in immature humor.
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Gliese 682}} || {{w|Gliese 682 b|b}} || Y || Verdant Hellscape || A contradictory name. "[[wikt:verdant|Verdant]]" usually signifies to be lush with green plantlife, while "[[wikt:hellscape|Hellscape]]" describes a desolate landscape destroyed by heat and cataclysm.
|-
| {{w|Gliese 682 c|c}} || Y || Unsubscribe || On YouTube, "subscribers" (people who get updates on a person's channel) are highly valued, and to "unsubscribe" from anyone is deemed to be offensive. "Unsubscribe" is also the command one sends to {{w|Electronic mailing list}}s to stop receiving said mailing list. In this sense it may imply a desire to no longer be bothered with these silly discussions around planet-names. Like "help@gmail.com" and "How do I join the IAU", "unsubscribe" is a frequently seen accidental message on the Internet in contexts where it is not going to work as a command.
|-
| {{w|Kepler-452}} || {{w|Kepler-452b|b}} || Y || Pluto || This is the planet Black Hat is referring to at the top of the table.
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}

[Black Hat is pointing slide with image of Kepler-452b planet]
:Black Hat: NASA has announced the discovery of a (super-)Earth-sized planet in the habitable zone of a sun-like star.
:Black Hat: I suggest we name this planet "Pluto", both to celebrate the great work by the ''New Horizons'' team, and to make the stupid "Is Pluto a planet" debate a little more confusing

:[Table showing a list of planet names is shown.]

{| class="wikitable" |
While we wait to hear from the IAU, here's a revised and updated list of planet name suggestions (see xkcd.com/1253) New or updated entries in red
|-
|}

==Trivia==
The IPA character for stress is a vertical line ˈ. Randall uses a slanted line similar to acute accent ´ or prime ′.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Firefly]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Exoplanets]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

610: Sheeple

2015-01-01T03:40:16Z

Crisco 1492: italics

{{comic
| number = 610
| date = July 15, 2009
| title = Sheeple
| image = sheeple.png
| titletext = Hey, what are the odds -- five Ayn Rand fans on the same train! Must be going to a convention.
}}

==Explanation==
"{{w|Sheeple}}" refers to people as sheep, who blindly follow direction without thinking for themselves. The phrase "[[:Category:Sheeple|Wake up Sheeple]]!" has been used in xkcd other times. In this comic, each person on the train considers themself to be an individual mind, and everyone around them as "sheeple." Ironically, although each of them thinks about how individual they are, they are all collectively thinking exactly the same thing. The comic can also be taken as a warning to not assume that you have more consciousness than someone else, since for all you know they could think the same about you.

{{w|Ayn Rand}} was a Russian-born American {{w|novelist}} and activist whose most famous books include, ''{{w|Atlas Shrugged}}'', ''{{w|Anthem (novella)|Anthem}}'', and ''{{w|The Fountainhead}}''. She developed a philsophy known as {{w|Objectivism}}, which promotes individual fulfillment (or so-called "rational self-interest") at the expense of collective goals and undertakings. Sheeple coordinates with Ayn Rand's novel, ''Anthem'', set in the distant future in which the word "I" has been abolished and the "evils" of the communal values have created a new dark age.

A possible further irony can be found in the title text. Rand enthusiasts would seek individualism and independence from social pressures; however, a convention could be interpreted as a social collective of people who have similar interests in a subject. These ideas would seem to be opposites of each other.

==Transcript==
:[A thought bubble is shared between the five occupants of a subway car.]
:All: Look at these people. Glassy-eyed automatons going about their daily lives, never stopping to look around and think! I'm the only conscious human in a world of sheep.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]
[[Category:Psychology]]
[[Category:Sheeple]]

474: Turn-On

2015-01-01T03:21:50Z

Crisco 1492: sp.

{{comic
| number = 474
| date = September 10, 2008
| title = Turn-On
| image = turn-on.png
| titletext = Supercollider? I 'ardly know 'er!
}}

==Explanation==
This comic refers to the first start up (Turn-On) of {{w|CERN|CERN's}} {{w|Large Hadron Collider}} (LHC). There was a theoretical concern that that the LHC experiments could create a {{w|black hole}} which would suck in our planet.

[[Cueball]] uses this concern when telling [[Megan]] this could be their last night on Earth, but since the scene is in a bar this is just another lame entry he uses because he just wants to stay the next night together with her.

Megan answers as a physicist and explains that first of all they will not start colliding particles just because they actually turn-on the collider. That will take a while during which everything needs to be checked. Secondly scientists have determined that the fears are unfounded - amongst other because cosmic rays have already been bombarding the earth with particles even more energetic than those created by the LHC. Thus if the LHC could create a black hole that would suck up the earth, then that would have happened long ago due to the cosmic rays! (At present time the collider has been colliding particles for years, and we are still here!)

Cueball feels rejected by her answer and turns away to leave her, but she calls him back explaining very directly that she did not say "no" to his request (to try to stay a night with her). Also as she is a physics grad student she needs an excuse to party - the excuse being that the LHC is turned-on.

Cueball feels encouraged and continues his attempt to get her in to bed. But in his next sentence he involuntarily uses three of the six {{w|Quark}} flavors ({{w|Up quark}}, {{w|Charm quark}}, and {{w|Strange quark}}). Megan continues to be very direct when asking if she has to be on top or bottom (when they are going to have sex). But this is also a sentence she chooses so she can continue using quark flavors ({{w|Top quark}} and {{w|Bottom quark}}). Cueball is flustered and complains that she is assuming too much since he hasn't even bought her a drink. Megan then makes it even worse when she does the order of two {{w|Whiskey sour|Whiskey sours}} just straight down - to use the finale flavor ({{w|Down quark}}).

Maybe she just teases Cueball (with her knowledge about the LHC and quarks), or else she is actually so turned-on by the LHC Turn-On that she wishes to have sex with Cueball as soon as possible.

The quarks are some fundamental particles the LHC is generating. All six {{w|Flavour (particle physics)|flavors}} of quarks are in the last panel: Up, Down, Top, Bottom, Charm and Strange.

Yet another joke is hidden in the identity of the barkeeper. Given [[Beret Guy]]'s strange behavior, "two whiskey sours, straight down" could be interpreted in a range of ways. This, however, is left to the reader's overactive imagination.

The title text is of course a very old joke "[http://da.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=I+Hardly+Know+Her I 'ardly know 'er!]". In this case Supercollider (another name for the LHC) should be misunderstood as "(Did you) Supercollide her?", which you could put into a (nasty?) sexual context. Using this sentence at the wrong moment could be bad for a nice romance. This could be a reference to the {{w|Futurama}} episode {{w|That's Lobstertainment!}}, in which Humorbot 5.0 tells a similar supercollider joke.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball walks up to Megan sitting at bar.]
:Cueball: So, the LHC's turning on. This could be our last night on earth.
:[While Beret Guy as a bartender walks into the frame Megan replies without turning]
:Megan: Gimme a break. They're not even colliding yet, and it won't do anything cosmic rays haven't.
:[Cueball turns and walks away. But then Megan turns towards him and says:]
:Megan: Hey, I didn't say no.
:Megan: I'm a physics grad student. I need the excuse to party.
:[Cueball turns back and they talk:]
:Cueball: So, you're up for a night with a charming stranger?
:Megan: Depends. Top or bottom?
:Cueball: Hey, I haven't even bought you a drink.
:Megan: Barkeep, two whiskey sours, straight down.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Sex]]

523: Decline

2015-01-01T03:16:48Z

Crisco 1492: too much whitespace

{{comic
| number = 523
| date = December 29, 2008
| title = Decline
| image = decline.png
| titletext = 'There is also a spike on the Fourier transformation at the one month mark where--' 'You want to stop talking right now.'
}}

==Explanation==

[[Cueball]], apparently concerned about the status of his romantic relationship, has constructed a "relationship graph" plotting an ambiguously quantitative metric for love and/or affection against time. He has identified a sudden drop. Cueball's romantic partner (probably [[Megan]]) notes from off screen that the drop corresponds to the moment Cueball's obsession with graphs began. He claims the two events are coincidental, thereby referencing the recurring xkcd theme of correlation not necessarily implying causation - see [[552: Correlation]].

The {{w|Fourier transform}} is a technique for discovering the periodic characteristic(s) of a function. A spike at one month on the Fourier transform of the love graph would mean that something happens every month that causes the relationship to change. This is presumably a reference to Megan's {{w|menstrual cycle}}, that is, her 'time of the month,' stereotypically depicted as having a woman uncharacteristically crabby or moody at that time. This is not something you should mention to your girlfriend and she asks him to stop talking before he finishes the sentence. After this graph the relationship may very well end...

Fourier transformations were mentioned previously in [[26: Fourier]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is pointing at a line graph at a specific point where it slopes down. The y-axis shows that as y increases, love increases.]
:Cueball: Our relationship entered its decline at this point.
:Megan [Outside of panel]: That's when you started graphing everything.
:Cueball: Coincidence!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Romance]]

826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)

2014-12-29T02:56:52Z

Crisco 1492: nothing's passed it since

{{comic
| number = 826
| date = November 26, 2010
| title = Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)
| before = ''Explainxkcd note: Don't try and click on this image to see the exhibits. Visit [http://www.xkcd.com/826/ the actual comic] instead''
| image = guest week zach weiner smbc.png
| titletext = Guest comic by Zach Weiner of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. When I was stressed out, Zach gave me a talk that was really encouraging and somehow involved nanobots.
}}

__TOC__
==Explanation==
This comic is drawn by a guest webcomic artist, Zack Weiner, following the theme of "Guest Week". Zach is the author of the webcomic [http://www.smbc-comics.com/ Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal]. The [http://www.xkcd.com/826/ original comic] is interactive. It will show images of the exibits (see below) by clicking on them.

The entire comic is a hypothetical "{{w|Smithsonian Museum}} of Dad-Trolling, an entire building dedicated to deceiving children for amusement." It is an common occurrence that curious children will ask simple questions about science to their parents, such as, "Daddy, why is the sky blue?" and a parent could respond, "Well Susie, the sky is blue to match your dress."

===Hall of Misunderstood Science===
Each exhibit is a display set up to reinforce the false, sarcastic, or exaggerated answers to typical questions that children may ask their parents about scientific topics. The answers given involve just enough information that the child may be satisfied with the answer and repeat it to others while maintaining the irony for adults that the answers are obviously misleading or false. These explanations may be given because the parent does not know how to explain the topic.

<gallery widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_27.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that basilisks exist, and that they live under your bed. The basilisk is a mythological reptilian monster that was described as having the ability to turn other living things to stone with its gaze. This story might be believed by children because children often imagine that a monster or a dangerous creature is hiding under the bed at night, and verifying that the basilisk is under the bed might turn the child to stone.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_26.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that "In my day" molecules did not exist, and everything was just atoms. Molecules are chains of atoms, and therefore more complex than atoms. This story might be believed by children because old people often tell unbelievable and questionably credible "In my day" stories about how different, or in this case less complicated, things when they where younger. This story may sound no less credible then these stories to a child. Like most "In my day" stories there is at least a grain of truth. The word atom has changed its meaning over time; at one time all discovered molecules were called {{w|atomism|atoms}}, as when they were modified their properties change. Also, according to the {{w|Big Bang}} theory, there was a period billions of years ago when the universe contained no molecules, yet still contained atoms.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_25.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that magnets are only attracted to each other when they are teenagers. This is a inside joke that the child is not in on about how there is a loss of sexual desire in adults. This story might be believed because magnets are seen as mysterious and possibly magical by children.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_24.png|In this exhibit the plaque on the statue of Jesus claims that {{w|snow}} is composed of Jesus' {{w|dandruff}}. This story might be believed because some children take the expression that {{w|rain}} is "God's tears", and this would be a logical extension.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_20.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that the reason that there are only four components of {{w|DNA}} is because there where only four letters back then. The following letters describe the {{w|nucleotides}} that make up DNA chains: "G" {{w|guanine}}, "A" {{w|adenine}}, "T" {{w|thymine}}, and "C" {{w|cytosine}}. This story might be believed by children as DNA can be thought as an instruction set to build life. Instructions contain words, and therefore the letters G, A, T, and C can be thought of as the letters that the words in the instructions are made from.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_23.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that you are more vulnerable to the {{w|Bogeyman|boogie man}} when you are sleeping. "The Boogie Man" is a common legend used to scare young kids; he typically hides in closets and underneath beds, and attacks sleeping children. This story might be believed by children as some believe in the boogie man.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_22.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that water increases its size to frighten {{w|predator|predators}}. {{w|Ice}} is less dense than liquid {{w|water}}. This is an unusual property as most materials are more dense in solid form. This might be believed by a child because many animals appear to increase their size to frighten away other threatening animals. A {{w|rhinoceros}}, although not traditionally a predator, would be a predator of water.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_21.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|antimatter|anti-matter}} is composed of half ant and half matter. The prefix anti means "the opposite of", but sounds similar to the word ant. This story might be believed by children because a hyphen is often used to combine two words together with different meanings to create a word with the meaning of both. Combining the words ants and matter could produce a word meaning something composed of both ants and matter.
</gallery>

===Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience===
This section holds falsehoods that a dad might use to frighten his children. Fear is often used to discourage children from disobeying their parents. It is an interactive experience, so visitors can try something for themselves, then learn the frightening fact it indicates.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_19.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that helium makes your voice higher because you are about to explode. Helium makes your voice high-pitched, because sound travels faster in helium than in air (79% nitrogen and 21% oxygen), and it does not explode because it is a noble gas; although it could rupture containers in accordance with the {{w|combined gas law}}, which governs the relationship between pressure, temperature and volume: i.e. if a balloon is over-inflated or exposed to heat, it will burst. This story might be used by parents to discourage children from inhaling helium. This story might regrettably convince a child that they are dying after they inhale helium. On the other hand it can be dangerous to inhale helium from a gas container if the pressure is too high. So maybe better scared than dead.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_18.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that if your middle finger is longer than all the others, you are an alien half-breed. For almost all people the middle finger is longer than all the others. This story might be used by parents to tease their children. This story might regrettably convince a child that one of their parents is a alien, and therefore not to be trusted.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_16.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that one of the cups of {{w|Jell-O|Jello}} had a rabbit brain instead of a cherry. Cherries are a common ingredient in gelatin based deserts. One cup is missing and in the hands of the child, possibly eaten. This story might be used by parents to tease their children, or discourage them from eating more dessert. This story might regrettably convince a child that they ate the brain of a small cute fluffy animal.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_17.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that monsters will eat you if you do not make your bed. In some stories monsters specifically prey on children. This story might be used by parents to encourage children to make their beds. This story might regrettably convince a child that there are monsters under their beds and frighten them so they can not sleep.
</gallery>

===Concessions===
This area holds concession stands, which sell food. There are misleading names on each stand. The pop-outs in this section are based on jokes parents tell their children to frighten them about food.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_15.png|In this exhibit the marquee announces the name of the concession stand as KFP. The parent claims that the "P" stands for phoenix, and the operator adds "also ponies". KFP is a parody of Kentucky Fried Chicken ({{w|KFC}}), a popular fast food chain which specializes in fried chicken. A phoenix is a mythical bird that throws it self into a fire and later rises from the ashes. This story might be believed by children because phoenixes are birds and a fried one may look similar to a chicken. It could be even worse for many girls if they believed they just ate a pony.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_14.png|In this exhibit the marquee announces that the concession stand sells {{w|ground beef}} and further enplanes that ground beef is beef that is found on the ground. The word "ground" here refers to the floor or dirt, but can also be the past tense of the word "grind". This story might be believed by children because the words are spelled and pronounced the same.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_13.png|In this exhibit the marquee announces that the concession stand sells {{w|ice cream}} and claims that ice cream is really spelled eyes cream, and always composed of eyeballs. This story might be believed by children because the words "eyes cream" sounds similar to "ice cream".
</gallery>

===Conservatory of Poorly Remembered History===
Each exhibit is a display set up to reinforce the false, sarcastic, or exaggerated answers to typical questions that children may ask their parents about history. The answers given involve just enough information that the child may be satisfied with the answer and repeat it to others while maintaining the irony for adults that the answers are obviously misleading or false. These explanations may be given because the parent does not know how to explain the topic.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_11.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|Genghis Khan}} achieved his victories by using dragons. Genghis Khan was a Mongolian conqueror who conquered almost all of Asia and much of Europe founding the {{w|Mongol Empire}}, and creating the largest continuous land empire in history. This story might be believed by children because some children associate magical and other fantastic elements with the past instead of fantasy.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_12.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that the {{w|Crimean War}} was a war on crime. The Crimean War is an often forgotten Eastern European conflict between Russia and a European coalition with aims to stop Russia's expansion. This story might be believed by children because adding an "a" to a people group sometimes is used to create a country name, making Crimea sounds similar to a nation of criminals.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_10.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that wizards where in control during {{w|The Renaissance}}. The Renaissance is a cultural movement in Europe that took place after the Dark ages. This story might be believed by children because some children associate magical and other fantastic elements with the past instead of fantasy.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_3.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|Star Wars}} is actual history. Star Wars is a fantastical science fiction movie. This story might be believed by children because the movie begins "a long time ago in a galaxy far away", and some children associate magical and other fantastic elements with the past instead of fantasy.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_9.png|In this exhibit the poster claims that {{w|France}} does not exist. The adult in the comic continues to attempt to convince the children that France does not exist. This is supposed to be funny because the knowledge of France as a country is common. This may be parodying the global warming debate, a common theme in both XKCD and SMBC.
</gallery>

===Rotunda of Uncomfortable Topics===
Each exhibit is a display set up to explain uncomfortable topics that children may ask their parents about. The answers given so that the children do not ask further questions.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_8.png|In this exhibit the sign on the box covering up a couple in bed claims that naked wrestling is perfectly normal, but kids should never engage in it. "Naked wrestling" is a euphemism for sex. A parent may give this explanation if a child walks in on their parents having sex and they have to come up with an explanation on the spot, or they feel that the children are too young to know about sex.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_7.png|In this exhibit the sign over the stand claims your parents drink alcohol to prevent you from drinking it as alcohol is a poison. This is technically true, as alcohol is a toxin. A parent may give this explanation to a child who asks their parents why they drink alcohol if it is bad for you, and did not want to explain the pleasurable experience of alcohol because it might encourage children to drink.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_5.png|In this exhibit the banner claims that mommies have big tummies because storks like chubby girls. According to some childhood stories storks deliver babies. Also, there are men who prefer heavy women, these men are often called chubby chasers. A parent may give this explanation to a child who asks why, if a stork delivers babies, their mother is changing while she is pregnant, and the parent continues to try to avoid the topic of sex.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_6.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that grandma did not die, but is going back to Saturn. Some parents tell their children that their loved ones have gone away instead of telling them the truth, their loved ones are dead. Going to Saturn "for revenge" is added for comic value. A parent may give this explanation to a avoid causing their child pain.
</gallery>

===Miscellaneous===
<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_4.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|dinosaur|dinosaurs}} are made of bones only. The fossil record includes the imprints of the other tissues of dinosaurs including skin, nails, teeth, and feathers. This story might be believed by children because the majority of all displays of dinosaurs in museums only include bones.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_2.png|The Bathrooms have 3 doors. Clicking reveals that there the two standard gendered bathrooms found in the majority of public buildings, and another one for "Korgmen & Spangs" which does not correspond to any known human trait. This is most likely a reference to the Marvel alien species {{w|Korg_(comics)|the Korg}}.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_1.png|In this exhibit the sign (which the children can not see) explains that the "{{w|Magic Eye}} poster" contains no hidden images. Magic Eye is a company that sells {{w|autostereogram}}s in books. Autostereograms contain a "hidden" three-dimensional image that can only be seen by focusing one's eyes at a point other than the poster itself. This takes time and many people find it difficult or impossible to do.
</gallery>

==Transcript==
:In the spirit of xkcd I present a proposal for a new Smithsonian museum:
:The Smithsonian Museum Of Dad-Trolling
:An entire building dedicated to deceiving children for amusement

:(Click to view exhibits!)

:The top left room is 'The Hall of Misunderstood Science'. It contains six exhibits.

:Exhibit: A giant basilisk looms over children.
:Exhibit label: BASILISKS: Real, deadly, under your bed.

:Exhibit: Four magnets hang from a square arch. A child is touching two of them together.
:Text on the arch: Magnets only leap at each other when they're teenagers. Later, they lose interest.

:Exhibit: A child on his dad's shoulders looks up at a looming statue of Jesus behind a lectern. There are flakes falling from Jesus onto them both.
:Exhibit label: Snow is Jesus' dandruff. His scalp gets dry when it's cold.

:Exhibit: A child lies asleep, while hands and a scary face reach up around the bed toward him.
:Exhibit label: Sleep: Now you're vulnerable to the boogie man!

:Exhibit: An ice block sits on a stand in front of pictures of a wolf and rhinoceros looking frightened.
:Exhibit label: Freezing water: Expands to frighten predators.

:Exhibit: An insect on a stick is orbited by a small sphere.
:Exhibit label: Anti-matter: Matter that is more than 50% ants.

:Exhibit: A DNA strand with the letters T, A, C, and G hanging around it.
:Exhibit label: DNA only has four letters because the alphabet was smaller back then.
:Dad, to child: Told you so.

:Exhibit: A bunch of molecules hang from the ceiling.
:Exhibit label: Molecules? In my day, we only had atoms!

:The top right room is 'Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience'. There are four exhibits.

:Exhibit: Five balloons float tethered to a table. A child is holding a sixth balloon. The Dad looks alarmed.
:Sign on exhibit: If this helium makes your voice go higher, it's because you're ten seconds from exploding.

:Exhibit: An alien face is shown above an outline of several hands next to a ruler. A child holds his hand up to it.
:Sign on exhibit: Measure your middle finger. If it's longer than the others, you're an alien halfbreed.

:Exhibit: Three cups are on a table. A child is walking away with a fourth cup, the dad's arm around the child's shoulder.
:Exhibit label: Has anyone seen my rabbit brain? It looks like a cherry, and I dropped it in a Jello cup.

:Exhibit: A monstrous set of jaws open upward around a bed.
:Sign on exhibit: Make your bed or monsters will know a kid lives there.

:The center right room is 'Concessions'. There are three booths.

:Booth: A concession stand is labeled 'KFP', and displays a KFC-style bucket. A dad and child are eating.
:Dad: The "P" is for "phoenix".

:Booth: A concession stand.
:Sign on stand: Ground beef: Beef we found on the ground.
:Dad, to child: Told you.

:Booth: A stand shaped like a giant eye.
:Booth label: EYES CREAM
:Subtitle: How did you think it was spelled?
:Sign on booth: Now with more of the goo in your eyes. Same as every other creamery.

:The lower left room is 'Conservatory of Poorly Remembered History'. There are five exhibits.

:Exhibit: A man is riding a dragon.
:Exhibit label: Genghis Khan: victory through dragons.

:Exhibit: A criminal in front of some windows.
:Exhibit label: The Crimean War: The first war against crime.

:Exhibit: A castle with flags hanging on it.
:Exhibit label: The Renaissance
:Subtitle: Long story short, the wizards were in control.

:Exhibit:A man in Jedi-style robes with a fake beard.
:Exhibit label: Star Wars is a documentary. No, seriously.
:Dad, to children: Kids, this man is a veteran.

:The lower right room is 'Rotunda of Uncomfortable Topics'. There are five exhibits.

:Exhibit: A wrestling ring, with a man and woman mostly obscured by the exhibit label.
:Exhibit label: Naked wrestling: perfectly normal. NEVER DO IT.

:Exhibit: a figure sits at a booth in front of a bowl of food. The dad is holding a bottle.
:Exhibit label: Alcohol is poison. I drink to save you from it.
:Dad: You're welcome.

:Exhibit: A large bird.
:Exhibit label: Mommies get big tummies before babies come because the stork likes chubby girls.

:Exhibit: A rocket ship.
:Sign on exhibit: Grandma's not dead. She just returned to Saturn. For REVENGE.

:In the areas outside the rooms, there are two more exhibits and restrooms, all clickable.

:Exhibit: A dinosaur skeleton.
:Exhibit label: That's right. Dinosaurs were made entirely of BONES.
:Dad, to kid: If you think about it, it makes sense.

:Exhibit: A large image hangs on the wall. It is a dense squiggly jumble of lines.
:Dad, to kids: You gotta squint juuust right.
:Sign on exhibit: Magic eye trick that doesn't actually work.

:Restrooms: There are three doors, each with a sign.
:First door (male logo): Men & Boys
:Second door (female logo): Women & Girls
:Third door (unrecognizable logo): Korgmen & Spangs

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cory Doctorow]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Ferret]]
[[Category:Guest Week]]
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:Dinosaurs]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Religion]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]

826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)

2014-12-29T02:53:07Z

Crisco 1492: c.e.

{{comic
| number = 826
| date = November 26, 2010
| title = Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)
| before = ''Explainxkcd note: Don't try and click on this image to see the exhibits. Visit [http://www.xkcd.com/826/ the actual comic] instead''
| image = guest week zach weiner smbc.png
| titletext = Guest comic by Zach Weiner of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. When I was stressed out, Zach gave me a talk that was really encouraging and somehow involved nanobots.
}}

__TOC__
==Explanation==
This comic is drawn by a guest webcomic artist, Zack Weiner, following the theme of "Guest Week". Zach is the author of the webcomic [http://www.smbc-comics.com/ Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal]. The [http://www.xkcd.com/826/ original comic] is interactive. It will show images of the exibits (see below) by clicking on them.

The entire comic is a hypothetical "{{w|Smithsonian Museum}} of Dad-Trolling, an entire building dedicated to deceiving children for amusement." It is an common occurrence that curious children will ask simple questions about science to their parents, such as, "Daddy, why is the sky blue?" and a parent could respond, "Well Susie, the sky is blue to match your dress."

===Hall of Misunderstood Science===
Each exhibit is a display set up to reinforce the false, sarcastic, or exaggerated answers to typical questions that children may ask their parents about scientific topics. The answers given involve just enough information that the child may be satisfied with the answer and repeat it to others while maintaining the irony for adults that the answers are obviously misleading or false. These explanations may be given because the parent does not know how to explain the topic.

<gallery widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_27.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that basilisks exist, and that they live under your bed. The basilisk is a mythological reptilian monster that was described as having the ability to turn other living things to stone with its gaze. This story might be believed by children because children often imagine that a monster or a dangerous creature is hiding under the bed at night, and verifying that the basilisk is under the bed might turn the child to stone.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_26.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that "In my day" molecules did not exist, and everything was just atoms. Molecules are chains of atoms, and therefore more complex than atoms. This story might be believed by children because old people often tell unbelievable and questionably credible "In my day" stories about how different, or in this case less complicated, things when they where younger. This story may sound no less credible then these stories to a child. Like most "In my day" stories there is at least a grain of truth. The word atom has changed its meaning over time; at one time all discovered molecules were called {{w|atomism|atoms}}, as when they were modified their properties change. Also, according to the {{w|Big Bang}} theory, there was a period billions of years ago when the universe contained no molecules, yet still contained atoms.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_25.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that magnets are only attracted to each other when they are teenagers. This is a inside joke that the child is not in on about how there is a loss of sexual desire in adults. This story might be believed because magnets are seen as mysterious and possibly magical by children.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_24.png|In this exhibit the plaque on the statue of Jesus claims that {{w|snow}} is composed of Jesus' {{w|dandruff}}. This story might be believed because some children take the expression that {{w|rain}} is "God's tears", and this would be a logical extension.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_20.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that the reason that there are only four components of {{w|DNA}} is because there where only four letters back then. The following letters describe the {{w|nucleotides}} that make up DNA chains: "G" {{w|guanine}}, "A" {{w|adenine}}, "T" {{w|thymine}}, and "C" {{w|cytosine}}. This story might be believed by children as DNA can be thought as an instruction set to build life. Instructions contain words, and therefore the letters G, A, T, and C can be thought of as the letters that the words in the instructions are made from.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_23.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that you are more vulnerable to the {{w|Bogeyman|boogie man}} when you are sleeping. "The Boogie Man" is a common legend used to scare young kids; he typically hides in closets and underneath beds, and attacks sleeping children. This story might be believed by children as some believe in the boogie man.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_22.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that water increases its size to frighten {{w|predator|predators}}. {{w|Ice}} is less dense than liquid {{w|water}}. This is an unusual property as most materials are more dense in solid form. This might be believed by a child because many animals appear to increase their size to frighten away other threatening animals. A {{w|rhinoceros}}, although not traditionally a predator, would be a predator of water.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_21.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|antimatter|anti-matter}} is composed of half ant and half matter. The prefix anti means "the opposite of", but sounds similar to the word ant. This story might be believed by children because a hyphen is often used to combine two words together with different meanings to create a word with the meaning of both. Combining the words ants and matter could produce a word meaning something composed of both ants and matter.
</gallery>

===Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience===
This section holds falsehoods that a dad might use to frighten his children. Fear is often used to discourage children from disobeying their parents. It is an interactive experience, so visitors can try something for themselves, then learn the frightening fact it indicates.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_19.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that helium makes your voice higher because you are about to explode. Helium makes your voice high-pitched, because sound travels faster in helium than in air (79% nitrogen and 21% oxygen), and it does not explode because it is a noble gas; although it could rupture containers in accordance with the {{w|combined gas law}}, which governs the relationship between pressure, temperature and volume: i.e. if a balloon is over-inflated or exposed to heat, it will burst. This story might be used by parents to discourage children from inhaling helium. This story might regrettably convince a child that they are dying after they inhale helium. On the other hand it can be dangerous to inhale helium from a gas container if the pressure is too high. So maybe better scared than dead.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_18.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that if your middle finger is longer than all the others, you are an alien half-breed. For almost all people the middle finger is longer than all the others. This story might be used by parents to tease their children. This story might regrettably convince a child that one of their parents is a alien, and therefore not to be trusted.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_16.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that one of the cups of {{w|Jell-O|Jello}} had a rabbit brain instead of a cherry. Cherries are a common ingredient in gelatin based deserts. One cup is missing and in the hands of the child, possibly eaten. This story might be used by parents to tease their children, or discourage them from eating more dessert. This story might regrettably convince a child that they ate the brain of a small cute fluffy animal.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_17.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that monsters will eat you if you do not make your bed. In some stories monsters specifically prey on children. This story might be used by parents to encourage children to make their beds. This story might regrettably convince a child that there are monsters under their beds and frighten them so they can not sleep.
</gallery>

===Concessions===
This area holds concession stands, which sell food. There are misleading names on each stand. The pop-outs in this section are based on jokes parents tell their children to frighten them about food.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_15.png|In this exhibit the marquee announces the name of the concession stand as KFP. The parent claims that the "P" stands for phoenix, and the operator adds "also ponies". KFP is a parody of Kentucky Fried Chicken ({{w|KFC}}), a popular fast food chain which specializes in fried chicken. A phoenix is a mythical bird that throws it self into a fire and later rises from the ashes. This story might be believed by children because phoenixes are birds and a fried one may look similar to a chicken. It could be even worse for many girls if they believed they just ate a pony.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_14.png|In this exhibit the marquee announces that the concession stand sells {{w|ground beef}} and further enplanes that ground beef is beef that is found on the ground. The word "ground" here refers to the floor or dirt, but can also be the past tense of the word "grind". This story might be believed by children because the words are spelled and pronounced the same.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_13.png|In this exhibit the marquee announces that the concession stand sells {{w|ice cream}} and claims that ice cream is really spelled eyes cream, and always composed of eyeballs. This story might be believed by children because the words "eyes cream" sounds similar to "ice cream".
</gallery>

===Conservatory of Poorly Remembered History===
Each exhibit is a display set up to reinforce the false, sarcastic, or exaggerated answers to typical questions that children may ask their parents about history. The answers given involve just enough information that the child may be satisfied with the answer and repeat it to others while maintaining the irony for adults that the answers are obviously misleading or false. These explanations may be given because the parent does not know how to explain the topic.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_11.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|Genghis Khan}} achieved his victories by using dragons. Genghis Khan was a Mongolian conqueror who conquered almost all of Asia and much of Europe founding the {{w|Mongol Empire}}, and creating the then-largest continuous land empire in history. This story might be believed by children because some children associate magical and other fantastic elements with the past instead of fantasy.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_12.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that the {{w|Crimean War}} was a war on crime. The Crimean War is an often forgotten Eastern European conflict between Russia and a European coalition with aims to stop Russia's expansion. This story might be believed by children because adding an "a" to a people group sometimes is used to create a country name, making Crimea sounds similar to a nation of criminals.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_10.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that wizards where in control during {{w|The Renaissance}}. The Renaissance is a cultural movement in Europe that took place after the Dark ages. This story might be believed by children because some children associate magical and other fantastic elements with the past instead of fantasy.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_3.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|Star Wars}} is actual history. Star Wars is a fantastical science fiction movie. This story might be believed by children because the movie begins "a long time ago in a galaxy far away", and some children associate magical and other fantastic elements with the past instead of fantasy.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_9.png|In this exhibit the poster claims that {{w|France}} does not exist. The adult in the comic continues to attempt to convince the children that France does not exist. This is supposed to be funny because the knowledge of France as a country is common. This may be parodying the global warming debate, a common theme in both XKCD and SMBC.
</gallery>

===Rotunda of Uncomfortable Topics===
Each exhibit is a display set up to explain uncomfortable topics that children may ask their parents about. The answers given so that the children do not ask further questions.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_8.png|In this exhibit the sign on the box covering up a couple in bed claims that naked wrestling is perfectly normal, but kids should never engage in it. "Naked wrestling" is a euphemism for sex. A parent may give this explanation if a child walks in on their parents having sex and they have to come up with an explanation on the spot, or they feel that the children are too young to know about sex.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_7.png|In this exhibit the sign over the stand claims your parents drink alcohol to prevent you from drinking it as alcohol is a poison. This is technically true, as alcohol is a toxin. A parent may give this explanation to a child who asks their parents why they drink alcohol if it is bad for you, and did not want to explain the pleasurable experience of alcohol because it might encourage children to drink.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_5.png|In this exhibit the banner claims that mommies have big tummies because storks like chubby girls. According to some childhood stories storks deliver babies. Also, there are men who prefer heavy women, these men are often called chubby chasers. A parent may give this explanation to a child who asks why, if a stork delivers babies, their mother is changing while she is pregnant, and the parent continues to try to avoid the topic of sex.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_6.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that grandma did not die, but is going back to Saturn. Some parents tell their children that their loved ones have gone away instead of telling them the truth, their loved ones are dead. Going to Saturn "for revenge" is added for comic value. A parent may give this explanation to a avoid causing their child pain.
</gallery>

===Miscellaneous===
<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_4.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|dinosaur|dinosaurs}} are made of bones only. The fossil record includes the imprints of the other tissues of dinosaurs including skin, nails, teeth, and feathers. This story might be believed by children because the majority of all displays of dinosaurs in museums only include bones.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_2.png|The Bathrooms have 3 doors. Clicking reveals that there the two standard gendered bathrooms found in the majority of public buildings, and another one for "Korgmen & Spangs" which does not correspond to any known human trait. This is most likely a reference to the Marvel alien species {{w|Korg_(comics)|the Korg}}.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_1.png|In this exhibit the sign (which the children can not see) explains that the "{{w|Magic Eye}} poster" contains no hidden images. Magic Eye is a company that sells {{w|autostereogram}}s in books. Autostereograms contain a "hidden" three-dimensional image that can only be seen by focusing one's eyes at a point other than the poster itself. This takes time and many people find it difficult or impossible to do.
</gallery>

==Transcript==
:In the spirit of xkcd I present a proposal for a new Smithsonian museum:
:The Smithsonian Museum Of Dad-Trolling
:An entire building dedicated to deceiving children for amusement

:(Click to view exhibits!)

:The top left room is 'The Hall of Misunderstood Science'. It contains six exhibits.

:Exhibit: A giant basilisk looms over children.
:Exhibit label: BASILISKS: Real, deadly, under your bed.

:Exhibit: Four magnets hang from a square arch. A child is touching two of them together.
:Text on the arch: Magnets only leap at each other when they're teenagers. Later, they lose interest.

:Exhibit: A child on his dad's shoulders looks up at a looming statue of Jesus behind a lectern. There are flakes falling from Jesus onto them both.
:Exhibit label: Snow is Jesus' dandruff. His scalp gets dry when it's cold.

:Exhibit: A child lies asleep, while hands and a scary face reach up around the bed toward him.
:Exhibit label: Sleep: Now you're vulnerable to the boogie man!

:Exhibit: An ice block sits on a stand in front of pictures of a wolf and rhinoceros looking frightened.
:Exhibit label: Freezing water: Expands to frighten predators.

:Exhibit: An insect on a stick is orbited by a small sphere.
:Exhibit label: Anti-matter: Matter that is more than 50% ants.

:Exhibit: A DNA strand with the letters T, A, C, and G hanging around it.
:Exhibit label: DNA only has four letters because the alphabet was smaller back then.
:Dad, to child: Told you so.

:Exhibit: A bunch of molecules hang from the ceiling.
:Exhibit label: Molecules? In my day, we only had atoms!

:The top right room is 'Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience'. There are four exhibits.

:Exhibit: Five balloons float tethered to a table. A child is holding a sixth balloon. The Dad looks alarmed.
:Sign on exhibit: If this helium makes your voice go higher, it's because you're ten seconds from exploding.

:Exhibit: An alien face is shown above an outline of several hands next to a ruler. A child holds his hand up to it.
:Sign on exhibit: Measure your middle finger. If it's longer than the others, you're an alien halfbreed.

:Exhibit: Three cups are on a table. A child is walking away with a fourth cup, the dad's arm around the child's shoulder.
:Exhibit label: Has anyone seen my rabbit brain? It looks like a cherry, and I dropped it in a Jello cup.

:Exhibit: A monstrous set of jaws open upward around a bed.
:Sign on exhibit: Make your bed or monsters will know a kid lives there.

:The center right room is 'Concessions'. There are three booths.

:Booth: A concession stand is labeled 'KFP', and displays a KFC-style bucket. A dad and child are eating.
:Dad: The "P" is for "phoenix".

:Booth: A concession stand.
:Sign on stand: Ground beef: Beef we found on the ground.
:Dad, to child: Told you.

:Booth: A stand shaped like a giant eye.
:Booth label: EYES CREAM
:Subtitle: How did you think it was spelled?
:Sign on booth: Now with more of the goo in your eyes. Same as every other creamery.

:The lower left room is 'Conservatory of Poorly Remembered History'. There are five exhibits.

:Exhibit: A man is riding a dragon.
:Exhibit label: Genghis Khan: victory through dragons.

:Exhibit: A criminal in front of some windows.
:Exhibit label: The Crimean War: The first war against crime.

:Exhibit: A castle with flags hanging on it.
:Exhibit label: The Renaissance
:Subtitle: Long story short, the wizards were in control.

:Exhibit:A man in Jedi-style robes with a fake beard.
:Exhibit label: Star Wars is a documentary. No, seriously.
:Dad, to children: Kids, this man is a veteran.

:The lower right room is 'Rotunda of Uncomfortable Topics'. There are five exhibits.

:Exhibit: A wrestling ring, with a man and woman mostly obscured by the exhibit label.
:Exhibit label: Naked wrestling: perfectly normal. NEVER DO IT.

:Exhibit: a figure sits at a booth in front of a bowl of food. The dad is holding a bottle.
:Exhibit label: Alcohol is poison. I drink to save you from it.
:Dad: You're welcome.

:Exhibit: A large bird.
:Exhibit label: Mommies get big tummies before babies come because the stork likes chubby girls.

:Exhibit: A rocket ship.
:Sign on exhibit: Grandma's not dead. She just returned to Saturn. For REVENGE.

:In the areas outside the rooms, there are two more exhibits and restrooms, all clickable.

:Exhibit: A dinosaur skeleton.
:Exhibit label: That's right. Dinosaurs were made entirely of BONES.
:Dad, to kid: If you think about it, it makes sense.

:Exhibit: A large image hangs on the wall. It is a dense squiggly jumble of lines.
:Dad, to kids: You gotta squint juuust right.
:Sign on exhibit: Magic eye trick that doesn't actually work.

:Restrooms: There are three doors, each with a sign.
:First door (male logo): Men & Boys
:Second door (female logo): Women & Girls
:Third door (unrecognizable logo): Korgmen & Spangs

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cory Doctorow]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Ferret]]
[[Category:Guest Week]]
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:Dinosaurs]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Religion]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]

826: Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)

2014-12-29T02:51:03Z

Crisco 1492: c.e.

{{comic
| number = 826
| date = November 26, 2010
| title = Guest Week: Zach Weiner (SMBC)
| before = ''Explainxkcd note: Don't try and click on this image to see the exhibits. Visit [http://www.xkcd.com/826/ the actual comic] instead''
| image = guest week zach weiner smbc.png
| titletext = Guest comic by Zach Weiner of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. When I was stressed out, Zach gave me a talk that was really encouraging and somehow involved nanobots.
}}

__TOC__
==Explanation==
This comic is drawn by a guest webcomic artist, Zack Weiner, following the theme of "Guest Week". Zach is the author of the webcomic [http://www.smbc-comics.com/ Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal]. The [http://www.xkcd.com/826/ original comic] is interactive. It will show images of the exibits (see below) by clicking on them.

The entire comic is a hypothetical "{{w|Smithsonian Museum}} of Dad-Trolling, an entire building dedicated to deceiving children for amusement." It is an common occurrence that curious children will ask simple questions about science to their parents, such as, "Daddy, why is the sky blue?" and a parent could respond, "Well Susie, the sky is blue to match your dress."

===Hall of Misunderstood Science===
Each exhibit is a display set up to reinforce the false, sarcastic, or exaggerated answers to typical questions that children may ask their parents about scientific topics. The answers given involve just enough information that the child may be satisfied with the answer and repeat it to others while maintaining the irony for adults that the answers are obviously misleading or false. These explanations may be given because the parent does not know how to explain the topic.

<gallery widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_27.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that basilisks exist, and that they live under your bed. The basilisk is a mythological reptilian monster that was described as having the ability to turn other living things to stone with its gaze. This story might be believed by children because children often imagine that a monster or a dangerous creature is hiding under the bed at night, and verifying that the basilisk is under the bed might turn the child to stone.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_26.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that "In my day" molecules did not exist, and everything was just atoms. Molecules are chains of atoms, and therefore more complex than atoms. This story might be believed by children because old people often tell unbelievable and questionably credible "In my day" stories about how different, or in this case less complicated, things when they where younger. This story may sound no less credible then these stories to a child. Like most "In my day" stories there is at least a grain of truth. The word atom has changed its meaning over time; at one time all discovered molecules were called {{w|atomism|atoms}}, as when they were modified their properties change. Also, according to the {{w|Big Bang}} theory, there was a period billions of years ago when the universe contained no molecules, yet still contained atoms.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_25.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that magnets are only attracted to each other when they are teenagers. This is a inside joke that the child is not in on about how there is a loss of sexual desire in adults. This story might be believed because magnets are seen as mysterious and possibly magical by children.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_24.png|In this exhibit the plaque on the statue of Jesus claims that {{w|snow}} is composed of Jesus' {{w|dandruff}}. This story might be believed because some children take the expression that {{w|rain}} is "God's tears", and this would be a logical extension.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_20.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that the reason that there are only four components of {{w|DNA}} is because there where only four letters back then. The following letters describe the {{w|nucleotides}} that make up DNA chains: "G" {{w|guanine}}, "A" {{w|adenine}}, "T" {{w|thymine}}, and "C" {{w|cytosine}}. This story might be believed by children as DNA can be thought as an instruction set to build life. Instructions contain words, and therefore the letters G, A, T, and C can be thought of as the letters that the words in the instructions are made from.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_23.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that you are more vulnerable to the {{w|Bogeyman|boogie man}} when you are sleeping. "The Boogie Man" is a common legend used to scare young kids; he typically hides in closets and underneath beds, and attacks sleeping children. This story might be believed by children as some believe in the boogie man.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_22.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that water increases its size to frighten {{w|predator|predators}}. {{w|Ice}} is less dense than liquid {{w|water}}. This is an unusual property as most materials are more dense in solid form. This might be believed by a child because many animals appear to increase their size to frighten away other threatening animals. A {{w|rhinoceros}}, although not traditionally a predator, would be a predator of water.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_21.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|antimatter|anti-matter}} is composed of half ant and half matter. The prefix anti means "the opposite of", but sounds similar to the word ant. This story might be believed by children because a hyphen is often used to combine two words together with different meanings to create a word with the meaning of both. Combining the words ants and matter could produce a word meaning something composed of both ants and matter.
</gallery>

===Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience===
This section holds falsehoods that a dad might use to frighten his children. Fear is often used to discourage children from disobeying their parents. It is an interactive experience, so visitors can try something for themselves, then learn the frightening fact it indicates.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_19.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that helium makes your voice higher because you are about to explode. Helium makes your voice high-pitched, because sound travels faster in helium than in air (79% nitrogen and 21% oxygen), and it does not explode because it is a noble gas; although it could rupture containers in accordance with the {{w|combined gas law}}, which governs the relationship between pressure, temperature and volume: i.e. if a balloon is over-inflated or exposed to heat, it will burst. This story might be used by parents to discourage children from inhaling helium. This story might regrettably convince a child that they are dying after they inhale helium. On the other hand it can be dangerous to inhale helium from a gas container if the pressure is too high. So maybe better scared than dead.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_18.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that if your middle finger is longer than all the others, you are an alien half-breed. For almost all people the middle finger is longer than all the others. This story might be used by parents to tease their children. This story might regrettably convince a child that one of their parents is a alien, and therefore not to be trusted.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_16.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that one of the cups of {{w|Jell-O|Jello}} had a rabbit brain instead of a cherry. Cherries are a common ingredient in gelatin based deserts. One cup is missing and in the hands of the child, possibly eaten. This story might be used by parents to tease their children, or discourage them from eating more dessert. This story might regrettably convince a child that they ate the brain of a small cute fluffy animal.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_17.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that monsters will eat you if you do not make your bed. In some stories monsters specifically prey on children. This story might be used by parents to encourage children to make their beds. This story might regrettably convince a child that there are monsters under their beds and frighten them so they can not sleep.
</gallery>

===Concessions===
This area holds concession stands, which sell food. There are misleading names on each stand. The pop-outs in this section are based on jokes parents tell their children to frighten them about food.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_15.png|In this exhibit the marquee announces the name of the concession stand as KFP. The parent claims that the "P" stands for phoenix, and the operator adds "also ponies". KFP is a parody of Kentucky Fried Chicken ({{w|KFC}}), a popular fast food chain which specializes in fried chicken. A phoenix is a mythical bird that throws it self into a fire and later rises from the ashes. This story might be believed by children because phoenixes are birds and a fried one may look similar to a chicken. It could be even worse for many girls if they believed they just ate a pony.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_14.png|In this exhibit the marquee announces that the concession stand sells {{w|ground beef}} and further enplanes that ground beef is beef that is found on the ground. The word ground sometimes refers to the floor other times is past tense of the word grind. This story might be believed by children because the words are spelled and pronounced the same.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_13.png|In this exhibit the marquee announces that the concession stand sells {{w|ice cream}} and claims that ice cream is really spelled eyes cream, and always composed of eyeballs. This story might be believed by children because the words "eyes cream" sounds similar to "ice cream".
</gallery>

===Conservatory of Poorly Remembered History===
Each exhibit is a display set up to reinforce the false, sarcastic, or exaggerated answers to typical questions that children may ask their parents about history. The answers given involve just enough information that the child may be satisfied with the answer and repeat it to others while maintaining the irony for adults that the answers are obviously misleading or false. These explanations may be given because the parent does not know how to explain the topic.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_11.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|Genghis Khan}} achieved his victories by using dragons. Genghis Khan was a Mongolian conqueror who conquered almost all of Asia and much of Europe founding the {{w|Mongol Empire}}, and creating the then-largest continuous land empire in history. This story might be believed by children because some children associate magical and other fantastic elements with the past instead of fantasy.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_12.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that the {{w|Crimean War}} was a war on crime. The Crimean War is an often forgotten Eastern European conflict between Russia and a European coalition with aims to stop Russia's expansion. This story might be believed by children because adding an "a" to a people group sometimes is used to create a country name, making Crimea sounds similar to a nation of criminals.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_10.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that wizards where in control during {{w|The Renaissance}}. The Renaissance is a cultural movement in Europe that took place after the Dark ages. This story might be believed by children because some children associate magical and other fantastic elements with the past instead of fantasy.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_3.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|Star Wars}} is actual history. Star Wars is a fantastical science fiction movie. This story might be believed by children because the movie begins "a long time ago in a galaxy far away", and some children associate magical and other fantastic elements with the past instead of fantasy.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_9.png|In this exhibit the poster claims that {{w|France}} does not exist. The adult in the comic continues to attempt to convince the children that France does not exist. This is supposed to be funny because the knowledge of France as a country is common. This may be parodying the global warming debate, a common theme in both XKCD and SMBC.
</gallery>

===Rotunda of Uncomfortable Topics===
Each exhibit is a display set up to explain uncomfortable topics that children may ask their parents about. The answers given so that the children do not ask further questions.

<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_8.png|In this exhibit the sign on the box covering up a couple in bed claims that naked wrestling is perfectly normal, but kids should never engage in it. "Naked wrestling" is a euphemism for sex. A parent may give this explanation if a child walks in on their parents having sex and they have to come up with an explanation on the spot, or they feel that the children are too young to know about sex.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_7.png|In this exhibit the sign over the stand claims your parents drink alcohol to prevent you from drinking it as alcohol is a poison. This is technically true, as alcohol is a toxin. A parent may give this explanation to a child who asks their parents why they drink alcohol if it is bad for you, and did not want to explain the pleasurable experience of alcohol because it might encourage children to drink.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_5.png|In this exhibit the banner claims that mommies have big tummies because storks like chubby girls. According to some childhood stories storks deliver babies. Also, there are men who prefer heavy women, these men are often called chubby chasers. A parent may give this explanation to a child who asks why, if a stork delivers babies, their mother is changing while she is pregnant, and the parent continues to try to avoid the topic of sex.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_6.png|In this exhibit the sign claims that grandma did not die, but is going back to Saturn. Some parents tell their children that their loved ones have gone away instead of telling them the truth, their loved ones are dead. Going to Saturn "for revenge" is added for comic value. A parent may give this explanation to a avoid causing their child pain.
</gallery>

===Miscellaneous===
<gallery class=center widths=432px heights=285px>
File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_4.png|In this exhibit the marquee claims that {{w|dinosaur|dinosaurs}} are made of bones only. The fossil record includes the imprints of the other tissues of dinosaurs including skin, nails, teeth, and feathers. This story might be believed by children because the majority of all displays of dinosaurs in museums only include bones.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_2.png|The Bathrooms have 3 doors. Clicking reveals that there the two standard gendered bathrooms found in the majority of public buildings, and another one for "Korgmen & Spangs" which does not correspond to any known human trait. This is most likely a reference to the Marvel alien species {{w|Korg_(comics)|the Korg}}.

File:guest_comic_week_zach_weiner_smbc_1.png|In this exhibit the sign (which the children can not see) explains that the "{{w|Magic Eye}} poster" contains no hidden images. Magic Eye is a company that sells {{w|autostereogram}}s in books. Autostereograms contain a "hidden" three-dimensional image that can only be seen by focusing one's eyes at a point other than the poster itself. This takes time and many people find it difficult or impossible to do.
</gallery>

==Transcript==
:In the spirit of xkcd I present a proposal for a new Smithsonian museum:
:The Smithsonian Museum Of Dad-Trolling
:An entire building dedicated to deceiving children for amusement

:(Click to view exhibits!)

:The top left room is 'The Hall of Misunderstood Science'. It contains six exhibits.

:Exhibit: A giant basilisk looms over children.
:Exhibit label: BASILISKS: Real, deadly, under your bed.

:Exhibit: Four magnets hang from a square arch. A child is touching two of them together.
:Text on the arch: Magnets only leap at each other when they're teenagers. Later, they lose interest.

:Exhibit: A child on his dad's shoulders looks up at a looming statue of Jesus behind a lectern. There are flakes falling from Jesus onto them both.
:Exhibit label: Snow is Jesus' dandruff. His scalp gets dry when it's cold.

:Exhibit: A child lies asleep, while hands and a scary face reach up around the bed toward him.
:Exhibit label: Sleep: Now you're vulnerable to the boogie man!

:Exhibit: An ice block sits on a stand in front of pictures of a wolf and rhinoceros looking frightened.
:Exhibit label: Freezing water: Expands to frighten predators.

:Exhibit: An insect on a stick is orbited by a small sphere.
:Exhibit label: Anti-matter: Matter that is more than 50% ants.

:Exhibit: A DNA strand with the letters T, A, C, and G hanging around it.
:Exhibit label: DNA only has four letters because the alphabet was smaller back then.
:Dad, to child: Told you so.

:Exhibit: A bunch of molecules hang from the ceiling.
:Exhibit label: Molecules? In my day, we only had atoms!

:The top right room is 'Regrettable Pranks: An Interactive Experience'. There are four exhibits.

:Exhibit: Five balloons float tethered to a table. A child is holding a sixth balloon. The Dad looks alarmed.
:Sign on exhibit: If this helium makes your voice go higher, it's because you're ten seconds from exploding.

:Exhibit: An alien face is shown above an outline of several hands next to a ruler. A child holds his hand up to it.
:Sign on exhibit: Measure your middle finger. If it's longer than the others, you're an alien halfbreed.

:Exhibit: Three cups are on a table. A child is walking away with a fourth cup, the dad's arm around the child's shoulder.
:Exhibit label: Has anyone seen my rabbit brain? It looks like a cherry, and I dropped it in a Jello cup.

:Exhibit: A monstrous set of jaws open upward around a bed.
:Sign on exhibit: Make your bed or monsters will know a kid lives there.

:The center right room is 'Concessions'. There are three booths.

:Booth: A concession stand is labeled 'KFP', and displays a KFC-style bucket. A dad and child are eating.
:Dad: The "P" is for "phoenix".

:Booth: A concession stand.
:Sign on stand: Ground beef: Beef we found on the ground.
:Dad, to child: Told you.

:Booth: A stand shaped like a giant eye.
:Booth label: EYES CREAM
:Subtitle: How did you think it was spelled?
:Sign on booth: Now with more of the goo in your eyes. Same as every other creamery.

:The lower left room is 'Conservatory of Poorly Remembered History'. There are five exhibits.

:Exhibit: A man is riding a dragon.
:Exhibit label: Genghis Khan: victory through dragons.

:Exhibit: A criminal in front of some windows.
:Exhibit label: The Crimean War: The first war against crime.

:Exhibit: A castle with flags hanging on it.
:Exhibit label: The Renaissance
:Subtitle: Long story short, the wizards were in control.

:Exhibit:A man in Jedi-style robes with a fake beard.
:Exhibit label: Star Wars is a documentary. No, seriously.
:Dad, to children: Kids, this man is a veteran.

:The lower right room is 'Rotunda of Uncomfortable Topics'. There are five exhibits.

:Exhibit: A wrestling ring, with a man and woman mostly obscured by the exhibit label.
:Exhibit label: Naked wrestling: perfectly normal. NEVER DO IT.

:Exhibit: a figure sits at a booth in front of a bowl of food. The dad is holding a bottle.
:Exhibit label: Alcohol is poison. I drink to save you from it.
:Dad: You're welcome.

:Exhibit: A large bird.
:Exhibit label: Mommies get big tummies before babies come because the stork likes chubby girls.

:Exhibit: A rocket ship.
:Sign on exhibit: Grandma's not dead. She just returned to Saturn. For REVENGE.

:In the areas outside the rooms, there are two more exhibits and restrooms, all clickable.

:Exhibit: A dinosaur skeleton.
:Exhibit label: That's right. Dinosaurs were made entirely of BONES.
:Dad, to kid: If you think about it, it makes sense.

:Exhibit: A large image hangs on the wall. It is a dense squiggly jumble of lines.
:Dad, to kids: You gotta squint juuust right.
:Sign on exhibit: Magic eye trick that doesn't actually work.

:Restrooms: There are three doors, each with a sign.
:First door (male logo): Men & Boys
:Second door (female logo): Women & Girls
:Third door (unrecognizable logo): Korgmen & Spangs

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cory Doctorow]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Ferret]]
[[Category:Guest Week]]
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:Dinosaurs]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Religion]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]