explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1957: 2018 CVE List

2018-07-25T16:11:59Z

Danhash: /* Table of possible CVE */ removed extra period and "sic" from the Haskell entry. the comic itself does not have this error.

{{comic
| number = 1957
| date = February 19, 2018
| title = 2018 CVE List
| image = 2018_cve_list.png
| titletext = CVE-2018-?????: It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischevious kids in a trenchcoat.
}}

==Explanation==

{{w|Common Vulnerabilities and Exposures|CVE}} (Common Vulnerabilities and Exposures) is a standardized format for assigning an identity to a cybersecurity vulnerability (similar to the way that astronomical bodies are assigned unique identifiers by committees). Giving vulnerabilities a unique identifier makes them easier to talk about and helps in keeping track of the progress made toward resolving them. The typical format of a CVE identifier is '''CVE-[YEAR]-[NUMBER]'''. For example, the CVE identifier for 2017's widespread {{w|Meltdown (security vulnerability)|Meltdown vulnerability}} is [https://cve.mitre.org/cgi-bin/cvename.cgi?name=CVE-2017-5754 CVE-2017-5754]. CVEs also contain a short description of the issue.

In this comic (released in February 2018), Randall presents a number of spurious predicted CVEs for later in 2018. Each CVE identifier is given as "CVE-2018-?????", reflecting the fact that they have not yet happened so we don't know exactly what their CVE identifier will be.

==Table of possible CVE==
{|class="wikitable"
! style="width: 30%;" | Security Vulnerability
! style="width: 70%;" | Notes
|-
|Apple products crash when displaying certain {{w|Telugu language|Telugu}} or {{w|Bengali language|Bengali}} letter combinations.
|This refers to a real vulnerability in iOS and MacOS publicized a few days before the comic was released,<ref>https://techcrunch.com/2018/02/15/iphone-text-bomb-ios-mac-crash-apple/</ref> as well as past similar iOS vulnerabilities<ref>https://thenextweb.com/apps/2017/01/18/iphone-ipad-apple-text-ios-bug/</ref><ref>http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/2018/01/18/apple-text-bomb-can-crash-iphones-single-message/</ref>.
|-
|An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit [''sic''] a race condition in {{w|Garbage collection (computer science)|garbage collection}} to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon.
|The reference to using a Timing Attack to exploit a race condition in garbage collection refers to Meltdown and Spectre CPU flaws that can be exploited in a cloud server like the ones in Wikipedia. {{w|Claude Shannon}} was an early and highly influential information scientist whose work underlies compression, encryption, security, and the theory behind how information is encoded into binary digits.

This is not a security problem. However, since Shannon formulated how the amount of unique or actual information some entity contains is proportional to the number of bits required to encode it, retrieving only a few bits casts a dark perspective upon the significance of the Shannon article's content.
|-
|At the cafe on Third Street, the Post-it note with the WiFi password is visible from the sidewalk.
|Cafés often offer free access to WiFi as a service to patrons, as a business strategy to encourage said patrons to remain in the building and buy more coffee. Some use a password, so that only patrons can use the WiFi, and may display the password on signage inside. Since anybody could go into the cafe to read the post-it, and then use the network from nearby, the ability to read it from outside is, at most, a trivial problem. For systems that are supposed to be secure, writing passwords in a visible place is a major security flaw. For instance, following the [[wikipedia:2018 Hawaii false missile alert|2018 Hawaii false missile alert]], the agency concerned received criticism for a press photo showing a password written on a sticky note attached to a monitor.<ref>http://uk.businessinsider.com/hawaii-emergency-agency-password-discovered-in-photo-sparks-security-criticism-2018-1?r=US&IR=T</ref>
|-
|A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box.
|Describes a common feature on news sites or social media sites like Facebook. The possibility for users to "inject" text into the page is by design. This is a humorous reference to the relatively common security vulnerability "[[Wikipedia:Cross-site_scripting|persistent cross-site scripting]]", where input provided by a user, such as through a comment section, can result in dangerous content containing arbitrary HTML or JavaScript code being displayed to other users.
|-
|MySQL server 5.5.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel."
|Some people pronounce "{{w|SQL}}" like "sequel", after SQL's predecessor "SEQUEL (Structured English Query Language)". The standard for SQL suggests that it should be pronounced as separate letters; however, the author of SQL pronounces it "sequel", so the debate is persisting (with even more justification than arguments about how to pronounce "GIF"). MySQL is an open-source relational database management system. The latest generally available version (at the time of writing) is MySQL 5.7.
|-
|A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges.
|{{w|Privilege escalation}} refers to any illegitimate means by which a system user gains greater access than they are supposed to have, and most hackers will seek to achieve this if they can. The most highly-sought privilege is that of the root user, which allows complete access to an entire system— a ''superuser''.

The irony of this CVE presents the reverse situation: that a flaw inadvertently ''de-escalates'' a root user to a less privileged user, which would cripple the ''superuser'', they would be disallowed access or ability to accomplish their required tasks, or worse, cause such tasks which do not {{w|fail safe}} to have catastrophic side effects.
|-
|Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics.
|This is a reference to a common problem of modern gadgets catching fire (usually related to flaws in lithium-ion batteries), as well as to Apple products crashing when attempting to display certain character sequences. Diacritics are the accents found on letters in some languages (eg. č, ģ ķ, ļ, ņ, š, ž). These would not normally be found on emojis.
|-
|An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team.
|This probably refers to the movie {{w|Air Bud}}, about a dog playing basketball. This has been a common theme in xkcd comics: see [[115: Meerkat]], [[1439: Rack Unit]], [[1819: Sweet 16]], [[1552: Rulebook]].
In 2017, it was discovered that an oversight in the constitution of the state of Kansas may [http://www.kansascity.com/news/politics-government/article175956836.html permit a dog to be governor]. Shortly before this comic published, the Secretary of State's office ruled that [http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2018/02/13/dog-kansas-governor/ it could not].
|-
|Haskell isn't side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one computer in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while.
|{{w|Haskell (programming language)|Haskell}} is a functional programming language. Functional programming is characterized by using functions that don't have side effects because they can not change things accessible in other parts of the program, as in [[1312: Haskell]]. The joke here is discovering that it does indeed have side-effects, manifested via external alteration, not violating the internal alteration paradigm.
|-
|Nobody really knows how hypervisors work.
|[[wikipedia:Hypervisor|"Hypervisors"]] are a tool for computer virtualization. Virtualization is implemented via various combinations of hardware and/or software, which requires a computer to completely simulate another computer, with its own unique hardware and software, and to varying degrees as to whether or not the virtualization is aware of or can determine whether it is being virtualized. Many IT professionals and businesses rely heavily on various forms of virtualization, but most of the individual employees would be hard-pressed to explain how it works. Programs running on other virtual computers, or on the real computer, may be able to access information on a virtual computer in ways which would not be possible with a single real computer. Consequently, understanding how the hypervisor works is important to assessing the security of a virtual server. Meltdown and Spectre are related to this.
|-
|Critical: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour.
|This joke is about arcane systems that are running Linux in exceedingly rare situations, meaning that reproducing errors would be incredibly difficult or inconvenient, and would only affect a very tiny user base (if any at all). {{w|IBM System/390 ES/9000 Enterprise Systems Architecture ESA family|System/390}} is an IBM mainframe introduced almost 30 years before this comic, which has a version of Linux. UTC+14 is a time zone used only on some islands in the Pacific Ocean (Primarily [[Wikipedia:Line_Islands|the Line Islands]]) and is also the earliest time zone on earth. Even if all of these absurd conditions were met, the resulting vulnerability would still be relatively benign: simply changing a user's preferred clock display format. Other xkcd comics make references to such obscure computer-time issues relating to time zones and time conversions, and how many programmers find these issues frustrating or even traumatizing.
|-
|x86 has way too many instructions.
|The x86 architecture (used in many Intel and AMD processors) is very complicated. Processors typically implement such a complex architecture using programs (microcode) run on a set of hidden, proprietary processors. The details of these hidden machines and errors in the microcode can result in security vulnerabilities, such as Meltdown, where the physical machine does not match the conceptual machine.

A more complicated instruction set is more complex to implement.{{Citation needed}} The x86 architecture is considered "CISC" (a "{{w|Complex instruction set computer}}"), having many instructions originally provided to make programming by a human simpler; other examples include the 68000 series used in the first {{w|Apple Macintosh}}. In the 1980s, this design philosophy was countered by the "RISC" ("{{w|Reduced instruction set computer}}") design movement - based on the observation that computer programs were increasingly generated by compilers (which only used a few instructions) rather than directly by people, and that the chip area dedicated to extra instructions could be better dedicated to, for example, cache. Examples of RISC style designs include {{w|SPARC}}, {{w|MIPS}}, {{w|PowerPC}} (used by Apple in later Macintoshes) and the {{w|ARM architecture|ARM}} chips common in mobile phones. Historically, there was considerable discussion about the merits of each approach. At one time the Mac and Windows PC were on different sides; owners of other competing systems such as the Archimedes and Amiga had similar arguments on usenet in the early 1990s. This "issue" may be posted by someone who still recalls these debates. Technically, the extra instructions do slightly complicate the task of validating correct chip behaviour and complicate the tool chains that manage software, which could be seen as a minor security risk. However, the 64-bit architecture introduced by {{w|AMD}}, and since adopted by {{w|Intel}}, does rationalise things somewhat, and all recent x86 chips break down instructions into RISC-like micro-operations, so the complication from a hardware perspective is localised. Recent security issues, such as the speculative cache load issue in Meltdown and Spectre, depend more on details of implementation, rather than instruction set, and have been exhibited both by x86 (CISC) and ARM (RISC) processors.

This explanation has way too many words.
|-
|NumPy 1.8.0 can factor primes in ''O''(log ''n'') time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices.
|Fantastically, this would be an unimaginable software threat, not to be confused with the even speedier, but future-bound, threat in hardware via {{w|Quantum computing}}.
NumPy is the fundamental package for scientific computing with the programming language Python. ''O''(log ''n'') is [[wikipedia:Big_O_notation#Infinite_asymptotics|Big O notation]] meaning that the time it takes for a computer algorithm to run is in the order of log ''n'', for an input of size ''n''. ''O''(log ''n'') is very fast and is more usual for a search algorithm. Prime factorization currently is ''O''(''2''''n''n)). If something can find the prime factors of a number this quickly, especially a [[wikipedia:semiprime|semiprime]] with two large factors, it will enable attacks to break many crypto functions used in internet security. However, prime numbers have only a single factor, and "factoring primes" quickly is a simpler problem, that of [[wikipedia:Primality test|proving that a number is in fact a prime]].
|-
|Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule.
|Another joke on the first CVE and [[wikipedia:I before E except after C|a common English writing rule of thumb]], which fails almost as often as it succeeds. Possibly a jab at Apple's image, portraying their software as unable to handle improper grammar or spelling.
|-
|Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers.
|Skylake x86 chips are a line of microprocessors made by Intel. Some processors are soldered directly to a system board or daughter board, while others are attached to boards that plug into the system board by means of a socket (pins or connectors that make physical contact with receptacles or connectors on a system board). Some sockets, especially older ones, require force to insert or remove, and often require the use of a flat blade screwdriver or a specialized tool, but most modern ones use ZIF (Zero Insertion Force) techniques, often involving a lever or similar to tighten or loosen the friction/tightness of the contacts. No screwdriver is needed in this case. However, any processor ''can'' be forcefully removed from its socket with a screwdriver.{{Citation needed}}
|-
|Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily.
|{{w|Linus Torvalds}} is the {{w|benevolent dictator for life}} of the Linux kernel codebase. Normally it is hard to make changes because he has the last word, and because the kernel is replicated in all Linux installations. Linus made the news in January 2018 when, having looked at one of Intel's proposed fixes for the Spectre and Meltdown vulnerabilities, he declared "the patches are COMPLETE AND UTTER GARBAGE".<ref>https://techcrunch.com/2018/01/22/linus-torvalds-declares-intel-fix-for-meltdown-spectre-complete-and-utter-garbage/</ref> Presumably, it may be found that he may be successfully bribed to be less blunt and/or less critical of vulnerability fixes that are complete and/or utter garbage. If this were the case, this would be a severe critical vulnerability to all Linux servers and machines.
|-
|An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.
|The point of an attack is to make someone else's machine perform actions against the owner's will. Anyone can make their own machine execute any code if they have root access and the necessary tools, but this would usually not be described as an attack, except in the case of a locked-down appliance, such as a video game console, a John Deere tractor, or pay TV decoder.
|-
|Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it.
|This could refer to a CVE vulnerability of JPG files where JavaScript embedded within the image file is executed by some application. In this case, though, the code is visible on the image instead of invisibly encoded within the image file. The code is also only executed if the image contains a photo of a baby in a saddle riding a dog. It's unclear whether the photo would be a digital photo, a printed photo (i.e. as taken using a digital camera), or maybe both.
Other than by some {{w|metadata}}, either internal to the image file, or embedded along with it, as in a web page, or a PDF or other container file, this "bug" would require the device to {{w|Hard AI|figure out}} specifically what the photo contains image-wise (something that's REALLY HARD for computers to do reliably), but would also require OCR (optical character recognition) code to convert the text superimposed on the photo into executable code. In other words, it's hard to believe in 2018 that such a bug could exist. Maybe in the future when such things are more routine...? As an example, OCR used to be hard to do reliably, but now it's a lot more routine and built into a lot of devices.
|-
|Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of Windows could allow Flash to be installed.
|Flash has been an integral browser plugin for decades, but has fallen out of favor in the 2010s, and eventually discontinued because of its notoriously abysmal security record. All security experts advise against installing it. Preventing installation of Flash would make systems more secure, but most versions of Windows do not prevent Flash installation. The joke here relates to the difficulty of keeping Flash up to date, or even installed properly to begin with. A common user experience, which is the subject of numerous jokes and memes, is the constant nagging notification to install or update Flash in order for web pages to display properly. Many IT professionals will bemoan the trouble they have experienced in the workplace due to these notifications and problems related to them.
|-
|Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers.
|This refers to a meme that demands that "cloud" be replaced with "other people's computers" in all marketing presentation to CEOs and non-computer literate persons evaluating the security impact of using cloud services. Part of the humor here is that "the cloud" is, in actuality, simply a term for hosted services, or in other words computers being run by other people (typically businesses that specialize in this type of "{{w|Platform as a Service}}" or "PaaS" service model). Referring to "the cloud" as "other people's computers" is, at its core, entirely accurate, though it takes away the business jargon and simplifies the situation in such a way that it might cast doubt on the security, reliability, and general effectiveness of using "cloud" solutions.
|-
|A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.[[779|[~~CLICK HERE FOR CHEAP VIAGRA~~]]]
|Mitre's CVE database is where all {{w|Common Vulnerabilities and Exposures|CVEs}} are stored. This log message forms the punchline of the comic, as it implies that all of the exaggerated error messages above might have been inserted by hackers exploiting the vulnerability. To pour salt in the wound, they then included in a typical spam link purporting to offer inexpensive {{w|Viagra|brand-name Sildenafil}}.
|-
|It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischevious kids in a trenchcoat.
|Appears in the title text. {{w|Bruce Schneier}} is security researcher and blogger. The "two kids in a trenchcoat" is a reference to the {{tvtropes|TotemPoleTrench|Totem Pole Trench}} trope. Shortly before this comic was posted, a [https://rare.us/rare-humor/two-kids-dressed-as-a-tall-man-to-get-into-black-panther-is-caught-on-video story went viral] in which two kids were photographed attempting this for real to get into a screening of ''Black Panther''.
|}

== References ==
<references/>

==Transcript==
:[A heading is centered above a list of 21 vulnerabilities]
:<big>Leaked list of major 2018 security vulnerabilities </big>

:CVE-2018-????? Apple products crash when displaying certain Telugu or Bengali letter combinations.
:CVE-2018-????? An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit a race condition in garbage collection to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon.
:CVE-2018-????? At the cafe on Third Street, the Post-it note with the WiFi password is visible from the sidewalk.
:CVE-2018-????? A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box.
:CVE-2018-????? MySQL server 5.5.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel."
:CVE-2018-????? A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges.
:CVE-2018-????? Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics.
:CVE-2018-????? An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team.
:CVE-2018-????? Haskell isn't side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one. computer in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while.
:CVE-2018-????? Nobody really knows how hypervisors work.
:CVE-2018-????? Critical: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour.
:CVE-2018-????? x86 has way too many instructions.
:CVE-2018-????? NumPy 1.8.0 can factor primes in ''O''(log ''n'') time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices.
:CVE-2018-????? Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule.
:CVE-2018-????? Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers.
:CVE-2018-????? Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily.
:CVE-2018-????? An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.
:CVE-2018-????? Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it.
:CVE-2018-????? Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of Windows could allow Flash to be installed.
:CVE-2018-????? Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers.
:CVE-2018-????? A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.[~~Click here for cheap viagra~~]

==Trivia==

Randall has previously referenced diacritics in [[1647: Diacritics]].

Bruce Schneier was previously mentioned in the title texts of [[748: Worst-Case Scenario]] and [[1039: RuBisCO]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Computers]]

1784: Bad Map Projection: Liquid Resize

2017-01-25T14:04:06Z

Danhash: /* Explanation */ "it's" -> "its"

{{comic
| number = 1784
| date = January 11, 2017
| title = Bad Map Projection: Liquid Resize
| image = bad_map_projection_liquid_resize.png
| titletext = This map preserves the shapes of Tissot's indicatrices pretty well, as long as you draw them in before running the resize.
}}

==Explanation==
There is no perfect way to draw a map of the world on a flat piece of paper. Each one will introduce a different type of distortion, and the best projection for a given situation is sometimes very disputed. [[Randall]] previously explored 12 different projections in [[977: Map Projections]], and expressed his disdain for some types he sees as less efficient but whose users feel superior. None of them are really good as any 2D map projection will always distort in a way the spherical reality, and a map projection that is useful for one aspect (like navigation, geographical shapes and masses visualization, etc.) will not be so for all the others. Local maps of smaller areas can be quite accurate, but the idea of both these map projection comics is to map the entire globe on a flat surface.

This comic suggests that there are many other projections than the 12 from the previous map projection comic, and Randall seems to have an entire list, of which at least 107 are "Bad Map Projections." The one presented here is #107 and is it called the "Liquid Resize." It is unclear if he includes the previous 12 in this list. Quite possibly he does, since all 2D projections of the surface of a 3D sphere will be bad in certain respects.

The ''Liquid Resize'' map projection, however, is not only useless for most map applications -- as the size, shape, and position of most countries are quite distorted -- but its creation includes two steps which are outright counterproductive. If the list is sorted from best to worst it may be hard to find a worse projection method than this, so finding 106 projections better than this one seems realistic!

First, this method needs a planar map projection as its starting point, thus compounding the problems right off the bat. Planar projections are relatively accurate near the center but heavily distorted toward the edges. A famous example of a planar projection is the logo of the {{w|United Nations}}. Planar projections are just about useful for 3D graphics rendering, if the user needs a quick, inexpensive way to store map textures that will later be attached to a sphere.

Second, the map uses [https://helpx.adobe.com/photoshop/using/content-aware-scaling.html Photoshop's content aware resizing tool], a very questionable choice. (Using a Photoshop tool for a task it is not intended for was also used in [[1685: Patch]] where a GNU patch tool was replaced with Adobe Photoshop's patch tool to compile code.) The content aware resizing tool resizes images by identifying what it thinks are important details and preserving these, while shrinking or stretching less detailed areas. For example, [http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/710073-content-aware-scaling when used on a face], the algorithm detects that the eyes and mouth are important details and tries to keep these in place, while stretching the skin around it. When applied to a map, this means that areas with lots of countries - and therefore lots of detail - such as Europe, West Africa, the Eastern Mediterranean and Central America/the Caribbean are relatively unchanged, while big countries like India, China and the US are very warped. The choices that the resizing tool makes are also dependent on the exact visual features of the original map, such as the choice of not having any topography or infrastructure drawn on, or not including a latitude/longitude grid, so what areas are deemed as unimportant is even more arbitrary than it would be on, say, a photographic picture of the Earth.

[http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/content-aware-scaling Bad content aware scaling] is already a meme. This projection does do a good job, however, of making almost every country clearly visible and indicating which countries are neighbors.
South America fits into Africa almost as it did in the era of the super-continent {{w|Pangaea}}.

{{w|Tissot's indicatrices}} are equally sized small circles overlaid on a globe to show the distortion of a particular map projection; if the map distortion distorts the shapes or areas of countries, it will do the same to the circles. The title text suggests that the shapes of Tissot's indicatrices would be pretty well preserved by the Liquid Resize transformation, 'as long as you draw them in before running the resize'. This is a joke. "Drawing them in before running the resize" means that a different projection would be generated (probably preserving the indicatrices themselves), making the use of the indicatrices meaningless, sort of like cheating. In fact by drawing them small enough there will be no resizing at all.

==Transcript==
:[Caption at the top of the panel:]
:Bad map projection #107:
:<big>The Liquid Resize</big>
:A political map compressed using Photoshop's content-aware resizing algorithm to cut down on unused blank space

:[Below the caption there is a map of the world divided and colored by political boundaries, with outlines around each continent in black and around each country in dark gray. Antarctica is colored in light gray, bodies of water in white, and countries in pale shades of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple. The map is heavily distorted, with Africa in the center and the other continents curving around it, approximating the bounds of a square with rounded corners. The oceans have been removed but also huge countries like the US, Australia, Brazil, Russia and especially India and Argentina have been heavily distorted while areas in the center with many smaller countries like Africa and Europe is almost unchanged.]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Maps]]

1690: Time-Tracking Software

2016-06-08T15:41:00Z

Danhash: /* Explanation */ update Facebook explanation

{{comic
| number = 1690
| date = June 6, 2016
| title = Time-Tracking Software
| image = time_tracking_software.png
| titletext = 'List of helicopter prison escapes' and 'List of sexually active popes' are both entertainingly long, but sadly there's no 'List of helicopter prison escapes involving sexually active popes.'
}}

==Explanation==
In this comic, [[Randall]] uses {{w|time-tracking software}}, which is intended to increase productivity by identifying how you are spending time, that reveals that he is doing frivolous and pointless things that take up large amounts of his time. He makes remixes, edits {{w|Star Wars}} footage, reads strange (albeit entertaining) Wikipedia articles (see [[214: The Problem with Wikipedia]]), and even spends a large amount of time adjusting this software, all without getting anything useful done. Thus, he is embarrassed at this revelation. This time waste is a common subject on xkcd, as shown for instance in the comic mentioned above.

The visual appearance of {{w|Lightsaber|lightsabers}} in the Star Wars movies of the {{w|Star_Wars#Original_trilogy|original trilogy}} has been {{w|List_of_changes_in_Star_Wars_re-releases|digitally changed}} twice during the re-releases for the 2004 DVD and 2011 Blu-ray releases. There are several Star Wars fans that feel the need to alter the movies (mainly to revert the changes made in the re-release), but so far nobody felt the need to replace lightsabers with metal swords.

{{w|Jack & Diane}} is a rock song written in 1982 by {{w|John Mellencamp}}. "[https://youtu.be/h04CH9YZcpI?t=56 Suckin' on a chili dog outside the tastee freeze]" is the first line of the second verse of the song (see the [http://www.metrolyrics.com/jack-and-diane-lyrics-john-mellencamp.html lyrics here]). A remix made using just this line would probably sound a bit repetitive (listen for instance to [http://svantana.bandcamp.com/track/you-were-workin-as-a-waitress-in-a-cocktail-bar this re-mix] of [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPudE8nDog0 Don't You Want Me], that almost only uses the first line of the song).

Two Wikipedia lists are mentioned in the comic and title text; {{w|List of helicopter prison escapes}} and {{w|List of sexually active popes}}. Given that the Pope is supposed to be {{w|Clerical celibacy|celibate}} (at least after 1139), the mere fact that more than ten popes have been involved in sexual activity, even after 1139, is both amusing and intriguing. There are more than forty entries in the helicopter escape list for real-life attempts (plus 16 in fiction); not all of them succeeded, but several did!

This xkcd comic was published on June 6th. On June 7th, the [https://www.facebook.com/wikipedia/ Wikipedia Facebook page] posted a link to the {{w|List of helicopter prison escapes}} article.<ref name="fb-wp-post">https://www.facebook.com/wikipedia/posts/10154133410693346</ref> A user commented asking if the article was posted on Facebook due to the xkcd comic,<ref name="fb-wp-post-comment-1">https://www.facebook.com/wikipedia/posts/10154133410693346?comment_id=10154135208533346&comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22R9%22%7D</ref> and Wikipedia replied by pasting an image of the xkcd comic,<ref name="fb-wp-post-comment2">https://www.facebook.com/wikipedia/posts/10154133410693346?comment_id=10154135208533346&reply_comment_id=10154135327863346&comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22R9%22%7D</ref> which seems to indicate that the Wikipedia representative running the Facebook page was aware of this xkcd comic and posted the list in reference to the comic.

In the title text, Randall mentions his disappointment with the lack of a Wikipedia list stemming from the intersection of the two; that is, a helicopter prison escape involving a sexually active pope. With the last sexually active pope being Pope Leo XII in the 1820s, and helicopter predecessors only taking flight in 1907, and mass production of helicopters not occurring until World War II, such an event has probably never happened.

The Wikipedia list of sexually active popes has been mentioned before in the [[what if?]] ''{{what if|109|Into the Blue}}'' on infinitely powerful lasers, and after noting that such a thing cannot exist, the list is offered as a replacement for entertainment.

===References===
<references />

==Transcript==
:[This comic shows a pie chart with 5 slices, each with a label and a line pointing to these five different sized slices. There is a caption above the chart:]
:Your activity report

:[The labels on each slice is given in clockwise order starting top left. The percentages are estimated from the image and are noted in the square brackets before the transcript:]

:[38%]: Going through the Star Wars movies and digitally replacing all the lightsabers with regular metal swords
:[16%]: Reading every entry in the Wikipedia article ''List of helicopter prison escapes''
:[23%]: Installing and configuring time-tracking software
:[02%]: Actual productive work
:[21%]: Making a remix of that ''Jack and Diane'' song where every line is just "Suckin' on a chili dog outside the tastee-freez" over and over

:[Below the frame there is a caption:]
:Time-tracking software shines an uncomfortably harsh light on my daily life.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Pie charts]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Computers]]

1690: Time-Tracking Software

2016-06-08T15:38:35Z

Danhash: /* Explanation */ +References

{{comic
| number = 1690
| date = June 6, 2016
| title = Time-Tracking Software
| image = time_tracking_software.png
| titletext = 'List of helicopter prison escapes' and 'List of sexually active popes' are both entertainingly long, but sadly there's no 'List of helicopter prison escapes involving sexually active popes.'
}}

==Explanation==
In this comic, [[Randall]] uses {{w|time-tracking software}}, which is intended to increase productivity by identifying how you are spending time, that reveals that he is doing frivolous and pointless things that take up large amounts of his time. He makes remixes, edits {{w|Star Wars}} footage, reads strange (albeit entertaining) Wikipedia articles (see [[214: The Problem with Wikipedia]]), and even spends a large amount of time adjusting this software, all without getting anything useful done. Thus, he is embarrassed at this revelation. This time waste is a common subject on xkcd, as shown for instance in the comic mentioned above.

The visual appearance of {{w|Lightsaber|lightsabers}} in the Star Wars movies of the {{w|Star_Wars#Original_trilogy|original trilogy}} has been {{w|List_of_changes_in_Star_Wars_re-releases|digitally changed}} twice during the re-releases for the 2004 DVD and 2011 Blu-ray releases. There are several Star Wars fans that feel the need to alter the movies (mainly to revert the changes made in the re-release), but so far nobody felt the need to replace lightsabers with metal swords.

{{w|Jack & Diane}} is a rock song written in 1982 by {{w|John Mellencamp}}. "[https://youtu.be/h04CH9YZcpI?t=56 Suckin' on a chili dog outside the tastee freeze]" is the first line of the second verse of the song (see the [http://www.metrolyrics.com/jack-and-diane-lyrics-john-mellencamp.html lyrics here]). A remix made using just this line would probably sound a bit repetitive (listen for instance to [http://svantana.bandcamp.com/track/you-were-workin-as-a-waitress-in-a-cocktail-bar this re-mix] of [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPudE8nDog0 Don't You Want Me], that almost only uses the first line of the song).

Two Wikipedia lists are mentioned in the comic and title text; {{w|List of helicopter prison escapes}} and {{w|List of sexually active popes}}. Given that the Pope is supposed to be {{w|Clerical celibacy|celibate}} (at least after 1139), the mere fact that more than ten popes have been involved in sexual activity, even after 1139, is both amusing and intriguing. There are more than forty entries in the helicopter escape list for real-life attempts (plus 16 in fiction); not all of them succeeded, but several did!

This xkcd comic was published on June 6th. On June 7th, the [https://www.facebook.com/wikipedia/ Wikipedia Facebook page] posted a link to the {{w|List of helicopter prison escapes}} article.<ref name="fb-wp-post">https://www.facebook.com/wikipedia/posts/10154133410693346</ref> A user commented asking if the article was posted on Facebook due to the xkcd comic,<ref name="fb-wp-post-comment-1">https://www.facebook.com/wikipedia/posts/10154133410693346?comment_id=10154135208533346&comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22R9%22%7D</ref> and Wikipedia replied by pasting an image of the xkcd comic,<ref name="fb-wp-post-comment2">https://www.facebook.com/wikipedia/posts/10154133410693346?comment_id=10154135208533346&reply_comment_id=10154135327863346&comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22R9%22%7D</ref> which seems to indicate that the Wikipedia representative running the Facebook page was aware of this xkcd comic.

In the title text, Randall mentions his disappointment with the lack of a Wikipedia list stemming from the intersection of the two; that is, a helicopter prison escape involving a sexually active pope. With the last sexually active pope being Pope Leo XII in the 1820s, and helicopter predecessors only taking flight in 1907, and mass production of helicopters not occurring until World War II, such an event has probably never happened.

The Wikipedia list of sexually active popes has been mentioned before in the [[what if?]] ''{{what if|109|Into the Blue}}'' on infinitely powerful lasers, and after noting that such a thing cannot exist, the list is offered as a replacement for entertainment.

===References===
<references />

==Transcript==
:[This comic shows a pie chart with 5 slices, each with a label and a line pointing to these five different sized slices. There is a caption above the chart:]
:Your activity report

:[The labels on each slice is given in clockwise order starting top left. The percentages are estimated from the image and are noted in the square brackets before the transcript:]

:[38%]: Going through the Star Wars movies and digitally replacing all the lightsabers with regular metal swords
:[16%]: Reading every entry in the Wikipedia article ''List of helicopter prison escapes''
:[23%]: Installing and configuring time-tracking software
:[02%]: Actual productive work
:[21%]: Making a remix of that ''Jack and Diane'' song where every line is just "Suckin' on a chili dog outside the tastee-freez" over and over

:[Below the frame there is a caption:]
:Time-tracking software shines an uncomfortably harsh light on my daily life.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Pie charts]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Computers]]

1690: Time-Tracking Software

2016-06-08T15:34:24Z

Danhash: /* Explanation */ The Wikipedia Facebook page posted a link to the List of helicopter prison escapes article the day after this comic was published

{{comic
| number = 1690
| date = June 6, 2016
| title = Time-Tracking Software
| image = time_tracking_software.png
| titletext = 'List of helicopter prison escapes' and 'List of sexually active popes' are both entertainingly long, but sadly there's no 'List of helicopter prison escapes involving sexually active popes.'
}}

==Explanation==
In this comic, [[Randall]] uses {{w|time-tracking software}}, which is intended to increase productivity by identifying how you are spending time, that reveals that he is doing frivolous and pointless things that take up large amounts of his time. He makes remixes, edits {{w|Star Wars}} footage, reads strange (albeit entertaining) Wikipedia articles (see [[214: The Problem with Wikipedia]]), and even spends a large amount of time adjusting this software, all without getting anything useful done. Thus, he is embarrassed at this revelation. This time waste is a common subject on xkcd, as shown for instance in the comic mentioned above.

The visual appearance of {{w|Lightsaber|lightsabers}} in the Star Wars movies of the {{w|Star_Wars#Original_trilogy|original trilogy}} has been {{w|List_of_changes_in_Star_Wars_re-releases|digitally changed}} twice during the re-releases for the 2004 DVD and 2011 Blu-ray releases. There are several Star Wars fans that feel the need to alter the movies (mainly to revert the changes made in the re-release), but so far nobody felt the need to replace lightsabers with metal swords.

{{w|Jack & Diane}} is a rock song written in 1982 by {{w|John Mellencamp}}. "[https://youtu.be/h04CH9YZcpI?t=56 Suckin' on a chili dog outside the tastee freeze]" is the first line of the second verse of the song (see the [http://www.metrolyrics.com/jack-and-diane-lyrics-john-mellencamp.html lyrics here]). A remix made using just this line would probably sound a bit repetitive (listen for instance to [http://svantana.bandcamp.com/track/you-were-workin-as-a-waitress-in-a-cocktail-bar this re-mix] of [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPudE8nDog0 Don't You Want Me], that almost only uses the first line of the song).

Two Wikipedia lists are mentioned in the comic and title text; {{w|List of helicopter prison escapes}} and {{w|List of sexually active popes}}. Given that the Pope is supposed to be {{w|Clerical celibacy|celibate}} (at least after 1139), the mere fact that more than ten popes have been involved in sexual activity, even after 1139, is both amusing and intriguing. There are more than forty entries in the helicopter escape list for real-life attempts (plus 16 in fiction); not all of them succeeded, but several did!

This xkcd comic was published on June 6th. On June 7th, the [https://www.facebook.com/wikipedia/ Wikipedia Facebook page] posted a link to the {{w|List of helicopter prison escapes}} article.<ref name="fb-wp-post">https://www.facebook.com/wikipedia/posts/10154133410693346</ref> A user commented asking if the article was posted on Facebook due to the xkcd comic,<ref name="fb-wp-post-comment-1">https://www.facebook.com/wikipedia/posts/10154133410693346?comment_id=10154135208533346&comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22R9%22%7D</ref> and Wikipedia replied by pasting an image of the xkcd comic,<ref name="fb-wp-post-comment2">https://www.facebook.com/wikipedia/posts/10154133410693346?comment_id=10154135208533346&reply_comment_id=10154135327863346&comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22R9%22%7D</ref> which seems to indicate that the Wikipedia representative running the Facebook page was aware of this xkcd comic.

In the title text, Randall mentions his disappointment with the lack of a Wikipedia list stemming from the intersection of the two; that is, a helicopter prison escape involving a sexually active pope. With the last sexually active pope being Pope Leo XII in the 1820s, and helicopter predecessors only taking flight in 1907, and mass production of helicopters not occurring until World War II, such an event has probably never happened.

The Wikipedia list of sexually active popes has been mentioned before in the [[what if?]] ''{{what if|109|Into the Blue}}'' on infinitely powerful lasers, and after noting that such a thing cannot exist, the list is offered as a replacement for entertainment.

==Transcript==
:[This comic shows a pie chart with 5 slices, each with a label and a line pointing to these five different sized slices. There is a caption above the chart:]
:Your activity report

:[The labels on each slice is given in clockwise order starting top left. The percentages are estimated from the image and are noted in the square brackets before the transcript:]

:[38%]: Going through the Star Wars movies and digitally replacing all the lightsabers with regular metal swords
:[16%]: Reading every entry in the Wikipedia article ''List of helicopter prison escapes''
:[23%]: Installing and configuring time-tracking software
:[02%]: Actual productive work
:[21%]: Making a remix of that ''Jack and Diane'' song where every line is just "Suckin' on a chili dog outside the tastee-freez" over and over

:[Below the frame there is a caption:]
:Time-tracking software shines an uncomfortably harsh light on my daily life.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Pie charts]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Computers]]

1678: Recent Searches

2016-05-09T15:50:24Z

Danhash: /* Explanation */ "Opposite of safe mode" explanation

{{comic
| number = 1678
| date = May 9, 2016
| title = Recent Searches
| image = recent_searches.png
| titletext = autoexec code posted by verified twitter users
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Needs an explanation for the individual queries.}}

The comic refers to the practice of finding answers to computer problems using {{w|Google}}. It shows a list of search queries, each of which suggests the author is perversely misusuing or overextending some computer technology or technologies. The overall impression is of someone technically sophisticated enough to shoot themselves in the foot, and who does not learn any larger lessons despite doing so repeatedly. It is unlikely any of the searches would give useful answers, because no two people would be perverse in these extremely specific ways. The title text is another possible entry in this list.

{| class="wikitable" border="1" cellpadding="4" style="border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
! width=20% | Search
! Explanation
|-
| Google translate syntax highlighting
| {{w|Syntax highlighting}} can be used when editing source code to make the code more readable and easier to understand. {{w|Google Translate}} is used to translate text from one spoken/written language to another. The joke here is that syntax highlighting doesn't make sense in the context of translating spoken/written languages.
|-
| Autodetect mixed bash zsh
|
|-
| CPU temperature sensor limits
| The CPU's temperature sensors exist to tell you when your CPU is becoming dangerously overheated (presumably as a result of overuse). Someone who searches for information about the limits of those sensors is presumably expecting to misuse their CPU.
|-
| GIF to XLS
| .GIF (Graphic Interchange Format) is a file extension used to store images and highly compressed videos. .XLS is thefile extension for Microsoft Excel spreadsheets. The joke is that the complete difference between the two types of file makes any kind of conversion all but impossible, so the search is useless.
|-
| Clock speed jumper sample rate
|
|-
| Clean reinstall keybinding
| This refers to keybinding, the practice of mapping a certain key to a certain function (e.g., pressing PRTSC will take a screenshot). Creating a keybinding for an task usually implies that the task is repeated often. A "clean reinstall" is however not generally something that should be repeated often.
|-
| Cron job to update crontab
| {{w|Cron}} is a utility that allows you to schedule commands or scripts to be run periodically. These scheduled jobs are read from a ''crontab'' file. A job that updates the crontab (therefore creating new jobs, removing old ones or editing existing ones) is highly unusual and unlikely to be what you actually want to do.
|-
| fsck Chrome extension
| fsck is a low level tool that would require a lot of effort to run through a browser with no gain.
|-
| Recursive font
|
|-
| Regex matching valid ebnf
| EBNF refers to {{w|Extended Backus–Naur Form}}
|-
| Hardlinks Turing complete
|
|-
| Opposite of safe mode
| {{w|Safe mode}} is a diagnostic mode of an operating system or application which allows the user to troubleshoot problems by disabling unnecessary functionality. The "opposite of safe mode" implies a "dangerous" mode where the purpose is to cause problems rather than fix them.
|-
| Predictive touchpad
| {{w|Predictive text}} is a feature of many smartphone keyboards that predicts the most likely word the user wishes to type, and then gives the user the option to place the word in the sentence without typing the whole word. A {{w|touchpad}} is a computer pointing device, similar to a {{w|computer mouse}}. The idea of a "predictive touchpad" seems absurd because, as opposed to typed words, there are not a limited number of swipe combinations that are possible on a touchpad. A "predictive touchpad" implies that a computer could predict where the use was going to move the mouse or click, which is clearly unreasonable
|-
| Google docs from bootloader
| Google docs relies on programs and libraries much more complex than a bootloader could run.
|-
| Hardware acceleration red channel only
|
|-
| autoexec code posted by verified twitter users
| Automatically executing code from the internet is generally a terrible idea, because it could be written by someone with malicious intent and harm your computer. The joke here is that the code would only be executed if written by someone who has been "verified" on Twitter. Twitter's verification service only serves to show that a user is who they claim to be, not whether or not their code can be trusted, so this would provide little protection.
|-
|}

==Transcript==
:[Coloured and styled as the logo]
:Google

:[Drop down box, implying recent searches]
:Google translate syntax highlighting
:Autodetect mixed bash zsh
:CPU temperature sensor limits
:GIF to XLS
:Clock speed jumper sample rate
:Clean reinstall keybinding
:Cron job to update crontab
:fsck Chrome extension
:Recursive font
:Regex matching valid ebnf
:Hardlinks Turing complete
:Opposite of safe mode
:Predictive touchpad
:Google docs from bootloader
:Hardware acceleration red channel only

:[Bold, below page outline]
:I have no idea why my computers are always broken

{{comic discussion}}

1678: Recent Searches

2016-05-09T15:47:37Z

Danhash: /* Explanation */ update "predictive touchpad" entry

{{comic
| number = 1678
| date = May 9, 2016
| title = Recent Searches
| image = recent_searches.png
| titletext = autoexec code posted by verified twitter users
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Needs an explanation for the individual queries.}}

The comic refers to the practice of finding answers to computer problems using {{w|Google}}. It shows a list of search queries, each of which suggests the author is perversely misusuing or overextending some computer technology or technologies. The overall impression is of someone technically sophisticated enough to shoot themselves in the foot, and who does not learn any larger lessons despite doing so repeatedly. It is unlikely any of the searches would give useful answers, because no two people would be perverse in these extremely specific ways. The title text is another possible entry in this list.

{| class="wikitable" border="1" cellpadding="4" style="border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
! width=20% | Search
! Explanation
|-
| Google translate syntax highlighting
| {{w|Syntax highlighting}} can be used when editing source code to make the code more readable and easier to understand. {{w|Google Translate}} is used to translate text from one spoken/written language to another. The joke here is that syntax highlighting doesn't make sense in the context of translating spoken/written languages.
|-
| Autodetect mixed bash zsh
|
|-
| CPU temperature sensor limits
| the CPU's temperature sensors exist to tell you when your CPU is becoming dangerously overheated (presumably as a result of overuse). Someone who searches for information about the limits of those sensors is presumably expecting to misuse their CPU.
|-
| GIF to XLS
| .GIF (Graphic Interchange Format) is a file extension used to store images and highly compressed videos. .XLS is thefile extension for Microsoft Excel spreadsheets. The joke is that the complete difference between the two types of file makes any kind of conversion all but impossible, so the search is useless.
|-
| Clock speed jumper sample rate
|
|-
| Clean reinstall keybinding
|
|-
| Cron job to update crontab
| {{w|Cron}} is a utility that allows you to schedule commands or scripts to be run periodically. These scheduled jobs are read from a ''crontab'' file. A job that updates the crontab (therefore creating new jobs, removing old ones or editing existing ones) is highly unusual and unlikely to be what you actually want to do.
|-
| fsck Chrome extension
| fsck is a low level tool that would require a lot of effort to run through a browser with no gain.
|-
| Recursive font
|
|-
| Regex matching valid ebnf
| EBNF refers to {{w|Extended Backus–Naur Form}}
|-
| Hardlinks Turing complete
|
|-
| Opposite of safe mode
|
|-
| Predictive touchpad
| {{w|Predictive text}} is a feature of many smartphone keyboards that predicts the most likely word the user wishes to type, and then gives the user the option to place the word in the sentence without typing the whole word. A {{w|touchpad}} is a computer pointing device, similar to a {{w|computer mouse}}. The idea of a "predictive touchpad" seems absurd because, as opposed to typed words, there are not a limited number of swipe combinations that are possible on a touchpad. A "predictive touchpad" implies that a computer could predict where the use was going to move the mouse or click, which is clearly unreasonable
|-
| Google docs from bootloader
| Google docs relies on programs and libraries much more complex than a bootloader could run.
|-
| Hardware acceleration red channel only
|
|-
| autoexec code posted by verified twitter users
| Automatically executing code from the internet is generally a terrible idea, because it could be written by someone with malicious intent and harm your computer. The joke here is that the code would only be executed if written by someone who has been "verified" on Twitter. Twitter's verification service only serves to show that a user is who they claim to be, not whether or not their code can be trusted, so this would provide little protection.
|-
|}

==Transcript==
:[Coloured and styled as the logo]
:Google

:[Drop down box, implying recent searches]
:Google translate syntax highlighting
:Autodetect mixed bash zsh
:CPU temperature sensor limits
:GIF to XLS
:Clock speed jumper sample rate
:Clean reinstall keybinding
:Cron job to update crontab
:fsck Chrome extension
:Recursive font
:Regex matching valid ebnf
:Hardlinks Turing complete
:Opposite of safe mode
:Predictive touchpad
:Google docs from bootloader
:Hardware acceleration red channel only

:[Bold, below page outline]
:I have no idea why my computers are always broken

{{comic discussion}}

1678: Recent Searches

2016-05-09T15:26:22Z

Danhash: fix typo "matchin" to "matching"

1678: Recent Searches

2016-05-09T15:24:59Z

Danhash: /* Explanation */ begin adding basic explanations

1678: Recent Searches

2016-05-09T15:21:37Z

Danhash: add Search column

1678: Recent Searches

2016-05-09T15:19:57Z

Danhash: /* Explanation */ +table