explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

3072: Stargazing 4

2025-04-05T11:26:53Z

Figvh: /* Explanation */ made an attempt to fix the grammar

{{comic
| number = 3072
| date = April 4, 2025
| title = Stargazing 4
| image = stargazing_4_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x386px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We haven't actually seen a star fall in since we invented telescopes, but I have a list of ones I'm really hoping are next.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT DISTRACTED BY STARS - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This is the fourth comic in the [[:Category:Stargazing|Stargazing]] series, and it followed [[2274: Stargazing 3]] that came out five years before. That was the longest stretch between two comics in the series so far.

The host [[Megan]] begins the introduction by referencing rude {{w|Yelp}} reviews of her stargazing lessons. The reviewers doubt that she is actually a qualified astronomer due to how simplistic her lessons are, and that she is actually just saying the words that come to mind.

Then she states that there are over 20 stars in the sky and some of them are over the age of 100. While this is true, it is an extreme underestimation of their number and age, which respectively number in the thousands (for visible stars) and billions or millions of years. Though in a city there could be less than 20 stars visible even in a clear night; in a normal stargazing session the event should though be moved to a place with as little light pollution as possible. Although, given the unprofessional nature of Megan's lessons, there is no guarantee that it does not take place in a city.

Megan continues to state true facts that are of no value. She states that our galaxy is huge and that there are more grains of sand in the {{w|Milky Way}} than grains of sand on all of Earths beaches. Since the Earth's sand is a subset of all of the galaxy's sand, and there are more planets with sand other than Earth (such as Mars), there are unquestionably more grains of sand in the entirety of the Milky Way than on Earth. This is a parody of the common saying that there are more stars in the visible universe than grains of sand on all the beaches of Earth. Tangentially it is actually unclear as to whether the star outnumber Earth's sands, as shown here: [https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/do-stars-outnumber-the-sands-of-earths-beaches/ Do Stars Outnumber the Sands of Earth’s Beaches?] and here: [https://www.astronomy.com/science/the-ever-lasting-question-more-sand-or-stars/ The ever-lasting question: more sand or stars?]. Original quote was also all the sand on Earth not just on the beaches.

Megan also adds a helpful hint to those that do not know what a beach is, calling a beach a big wet sandbox.

She then finishes the lesson by correctly saying that there is a black hole in the center of our galaxy ({{w|Sagittarius A*}}), and that stars sometimes fall in and get consumed by the black hole. When stars come too close to black holes, they experience a {{w|tidal disruption event}} (TDE), where a star is pulled apart by the black hole after exceeding its {{w|Roche limit}}. This creates streams of material that orbits the black hole and forms an accretion disk, that will eventually be consumed by the black hole or ejected in jets.

She adds her personal opinion on this fact saying that such events are "hilarious" and proceeds by saying that it's okay to laugh at the fate of those stars as the gravity of the black hole will prevent any signals from those stars escaping. This is due to black holes' immense gravitational attraction that prevents even light from escaping. In Megan's case the most important consequence of this fact is that anyone on planets around such stars cannot leave Yelp reviews if they hear her laughing. Thus, they cannot add to those that mock her lesson.

However, as the Roche limit of a black hole is always greater than its {{w|Schwarzschild radius}}, reviews made just after the star begins spaghettification could still escape the black hole. Not only do stars not use any kind of human-made technology,{{citation needed}} but any information regarding the app Yelp has yet to reach any star near Sagittarius A*, and will only reach it in 27 thousand years. It is much more likely that someone living on one of the star's planets would try to leave a comment on Yelp, not the star itself. But the same issues with distances would of course apply. It also seems unlikely that any planet would still be following a star when it first gets that close to a super massive black hole.

In the title text Megan claims that we haven't actually seen a star fall into the black hole since we invented telescopes. This is false as over a hundred TDEs have been discovered in a variety of wavelengths, including by the Hubble telescope. The way title text is phrased though she might have meant fall into specifically Sagittarius A*, and it is true that we haven't observed any star fall in into our closest supermassive black hole, there was however {{w|Sagittarius_A*#Discovery_of_G2_gas_cloud_on_an_accretion_course|G2 gas cloud on an accretion course}} discovered in 2002. Megan also apparently has a list of stars she would want to see fall into the black hole. But she can keep hoping as humans at this time has no way of changing the orbit of any star. So unless she is hoping for one (or more) of the closer stars to fall in next, she is unlikely to experience success based on her list. But it is a dark wish to have, that certain stars should fall in to a black hole. They might have planets with life on them, that would thus also be destroyed.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[The background is black, Megan is in front of three others, Cueball and Ponytail to the left, and White Hat to the right. Megan is drawn in white while the background characters are in grey.]

:[Megan:] Welcome back to stargazing.
:[Megan:] According to some ''incredibly'' rude yelp reviews, I'm "not informative" and "can't possibly be an astronomer" and "just kind of say words as they occur to me."
:[Megan:] I guess some losers just hate cool space facts.

:[The sky is white, the floor is black, Megan is pointing at the sky. Hairy, a Megan-like girl, Cueball, and Ponytail are on the left, White Hat and Hairbun are on the right. All of the characters are drawn in black.]

:[Megan:] Anyway, that dot is a "star."
:[Megan:] There are over 20 stars in the sky, and some of them are more than 100 years old.

:[The background is black again, the panel zooms in on Megan's face.]

:[Megan:] Our galaxy is huge.
:[Megan:] You know the beach? That big wet sandbox?
:[Megan:] Well, there are more grains of sand in the milky way than in all earth's beaches combined.

:[Character off-panel to the left:] Wow.
:[A different character off-panel to the right:] ...Wait.

:[The background is still in black, Ponytail is left of Megan, White Hat and Hairbun on the right. Megan is again drawn in white while the background characters are in grey.]

:[Megan:] The galaxy has a black hole at the center.
:[Megan:] Sometimes stars fall in, which is ''hilarious''.
:[Megan:] Don't worry, it's okay to laugh. The gravity prevents signals from escaping, so they can't leave yelp reviews.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Stargazing]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Stargazing]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]

3072: Stargazing 4

2025-04-05T10:59:56Z

Figvh: /* Explanation */ spelling

{{comic
| number = 3072
| date = April 4, 2025
| title = Stargazing 4
| image = stargazing_4_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x386px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We haven't actually seen a star fall in since we invented telescopes, but I have a list of ones I'm really hoping are next.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT DISTRACTED BY STARS - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This is the fourth comic in the [[:Category:Stargazing|Stargazing]] series, and it followed [[2274: Stargazing 3]] that came out five years before. That was the longest stretch between two comics in the series so far.

The host [[Megan]] starts off the introduction saying that rude {{w|Yelp}} reviews of the stargazing lesson regard her as not a qualified astronomer due to how simplistic her lessons are and that she is actually just saying the words that come to mind.

Then she states that there are over 20 stars in the sky and some of them are over the age of 100. While this is true, it is an extreme underestimation of their number and age, which respectively number in the thousands (for visible stars) and billions or millions of years. Though in a city there could be less than 20 stars visible even in a clear night, in a normal stargazing session, the event should though be moved to a place with as little light pollution as possible. Although, given the unprofessional nature of Megan's lessons, there is no guarantee that it does not take place in a city.

Megan continues to state true facts that are of no value. She states that our galaxy is huge and that there are more grains of sand in the {{w|Milky Way}} than grains of sand on all of Earths beaches. Since the Earth's sand is a subset of all of the galaxy's sand, and there are more planets with sand other than Earth (such as Mars), there are unquestionably more grains of sand in the entirety of the Milky Way than on Earth. This is a parody of the common saying that there are more stars in the visible universe than grains of sand on all the beaches of Earth. Tangentially it is actually unclear as to whether the star outnumber Earth's sands, as shown here: [https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/do-stars-outnumber-the-sands-of-earths-beaches/ Do Stars Outnumber the Sands of Earth’s Beaches?] and here: [https://www.astronomy.com/science/the-ever-lasting-question-more-sand-or-stars/ The ever-lasting question: more sand or stars?]. Original quote was also all the sand on Earth not just on the beaches.

Megan also adds a helpful hint to those that do not know what a beach is, calling a beach a big wet sandbox.

She then finishes the lesson by correctly saying that there is a black hole in the center of our galaxy ({{w|Sagittarius A*}}), and that stars sometimes fall in and get consumed by the black hole. When stars come too close to black holes, they experience a {{w|tidal disruption event}} (TDE), where a star is pulled apart by the black hole after exceeding its {{w|Roche limit}}. This creates streams of material that orbits the black hole and forms an accretion disk, that will eventually be consumed by the black hole or ejected in jets.

She adds her personal opinion on this fact saying that such events are "hilarious" and proceeds by saying that it's okay to laugh at the fate of those stars as the gravity of the black hole will prevent any signals from those stars escaping. This is due to black holes immense gravitational attraction that prevents even light from escaping. In Megan's case the most important consequence of this fact is that any one on planets around such stars, cannot leave Yelp reviews if they hear her laughing. Thus, they cannot add to those that mock her lesson.

However, as the Roche limit of a black hole is always greater than its {{w|Schwarzschild radius}}, reviews made just after the star begins spaghettification could still escape the black hole. Not only do stars not use any kind of human-made technology,{{citation needed}} but any information regarding the app Yelp has yet to reach any star near Sagittarius A*, and will only reach it in 27 thousand years. It could, however, be the civilization on one of the stars planets that would try to leave a comment on Yelp, not the star it self. But the same issues with distances would of course apply. It also seems unlikely that any planet would still be following a star when it first gets that close to a super massive black hole.

In the title text Megan claims that we haven't actually seen a star fall into the black hole since we invented telescopes. This is false as over a hundred TDEs have been discovered in a variety of wavelengths, including by the Hubble telescope. Megan also apparently has a list of stars she would want to see fall into the black hole. But she can keep hoping as humans at this time has no way of changing the orbit of any star, so unless she specifically hopes for some of the closest stars to the black hole falls in next, she is not likely to experience and succes based on her list. But it is a dark wish to have, that certain stars should fall in to a black hole. They might have planets with life on them, that would thus also be destroyed.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[The background is black, Megan is in front of three others, Cueball and Ponytail to the left, and White Hat to the right. Megan is drawn in white while the background characters are in grey.]

:[Megan:] Welcome back to stargazing.
:[Megan:] According to some ''incredibly'' rude yelp reviews, I'm "not informative" and "can't possibly be an astronomer" and "just kind of say words as they occur to me."
:[Megan:] I guess some losers just hate cool space facts.

:[The sky is white, the floor is black, Megan is pointing at the sky. Hairy, a Megan-like girl, Cueball, and Ponytail are on the left, White Hat and Hairbun are on the right. All of the characters are drawn in black.]

:[Megan:] Anyway, that dot is a "star."
:[Megan:] There are over 20 stars in the sky, and some of them are more than 100 years old.

:[The background is black again, the panel zooms in on Megan's face.]

:[Megan:] Our galaxy is huge.
:[Megan:] You know the beach? That big wet sandbox?
:[Megan:] Well, there are more grains of sand in the milky way than in all earth's beaches combined.

:[Character off-panel to the left:] Wow.
:[A different character off-panel to the right:] ...Wait.

:[The background is still in black, Ponytail is left of Megan, White Hat and Hairbun on the right. Megan is again drawn in white while the background characters are in grey.]

:[Megan:] The galaxy has a black hole at the center.
:[Megan:] Sometimes stars fall in, which is ''hilarious''.
:[Megan:] Don't worry, it's okay to laugh. The gravity prevents signals from escaping, so they can't leave yelp reviews.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Stargazing]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Stargazing]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]

Talk:1911: Defensive Profile

2017-11-04T23:52:36Z

Figvh:

This reminds me of his "free speech" comic. In both, he implies that if people get mad at you for what you say, you must be the one in the wrong. He also implies that people who make that kind of statement "don't understand" why people take offense. That makes very little sense. If they say something like that, they must understand why some people dislike them. Quite possibly they even enjoy having that effect. [[User:Gmcgath|Gmcgath]] ([[User talk:Gmcgath|talk]]) 21:09, 3 November 2017 (UTC)

: That brings new meaning to "objective truth". In the modern world it certainly seems sometimes that relativism reigns supreme. Let's see... If we all get angry at Randall, is Randall wrong? [[Special:Contributions/198.41.238.40|198.41.238.40]] 07:05, 4 November 2017 (UTC)

: Huh. What a bizarre comment. The underlying idea that (some) people know exactly why what they are saying makes people angry and actually enjoy it. (These people are commonly called "assholes.") But I see no correlation in this and your interpretation of his freedom of speech comic. And your interpretation is very far off from what said comic said. It said that "if the best argument you have is that your comment is freedom of speech, it must be a bad argument." Freedom of speech lets you say what you want, but you still have to actually defend your argument. You don't get to just say "freedom of speech" and win the Internet. Nothing about anger making it wrong. [[User:Trlkly|Trlkly]] ([[User talk:Trlkly|talk]]) 08:54, 4 November 2017 (UTC)

Chrome with the official Google Translate extension allows just this kind of view translation of a selection only. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.253.221|172.68.253.221]] 03:14, 4 November 2017 (UTC)

The first one works, somewhat. But the second one? What does "drama free zone" and "make people sad" have to do with one another? Drama (in this sense) is about anger, not sadness. And I don't think it's necessarily a horrible thing that you aren't good at dealing with people who get angry at you. Why assume everyone is a bad person? [[User:Trlkly|Trlkly]] ([[User talk:Trlkly|talk]]) 08:54, 4 November 2017 (UTC)

: I think that part refers to the "Geek Social Fallacies", one of which is that "addressing conflict" is the same as "cause drama" - failing to realize that addressing conflict is the way to SOLVE it, reducing drama in the long run. If a person thinks like that, telling them that you disagree/are offended by their comment would likely make them confused, angry and defensive, with no idea how to handle and overcome the conflict. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.88.68|162.158.88.68]] 21:16, 4 November 2017 (UTC)

The last paragraph (relating to Donald Trump and Twitter) seems out of place. It doesn't serve to describe the comic, and fails to establish context. Thoughts on deleting it completely? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.69.211|162.158.69.211]] 18:32, 4 November 2017 (UTC)

: I agree. While I get that Randall doesn't support Trump - just look at [[1756: I'm With Her]]. That doesn't mean that he has to be shoehorned into the description for any comic that deals with anything even vaguely political [[User:Figvh|Figvh]] ([[User talk:Figvh|talk]]) 23:52, 4 November 2017 (UTC)

explain xkcd:Community portal/Miscellaneous

2017-09-27T04:22:26Z

Figvh: /* Blinking advert */ new section

<noinclude>{{Community portal}}</noinclude>

== The Community Portal's design ==

{{tl|Community portal}} looks too Wikipedia-ish (because that's where I got it). Someone who can design things should probably fix that. It isn't protected for the time being, though it probably will be in the future (high-visibility template). --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 00:54, 4 August 2012 (EDT)

== Common mistake ==

This affects all pages that ever say "alt text" in reference to the TITLE text on xkcd images. "Alt text" is incorrect; Alt text refers to the text that is shown as an alternative when images are not displayed. Title text is what xkcd uses and is shown as a tool tip-like bubble when images are hovered over.

I would correct this myself but I saw no way to edit the main page. --[[User:Jillysky|Jillysky]] ([[User talk:Jillysky|talk]]) 14:21, 6 August 2012‎ (UTC)

:You actually don't need to edit the main page to fix it, as what's there is just a mirror (transclusion) of the actual content from the comic page, at [[Curiosity]], which is open for editing by anyone. Then again, the "alt-text" in that case is generated by a template, {{tl|comic}}, so that's where we should fix this. The template's code, however, is currently a terrible mess (sorry!), so I went ahead and took care of it. Thanks for catching that! --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 16:24, 6 August 2012 (UTC)

:Ah? So it's wrong, for instance, on http://m.xkcd.com? because of that I took it for granted that we could call it the alt-text... - [[User:Cos|Cos]] ([[User talk:Cos|talk]]) 17:38, 6 August 2012 (UTC)

:: Yes. If you look at the page's html source, you'll see:
<nowiki><img
id="comic"
src="http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/curiosity.png"
title="As of this writing the NASA/JPL websites are still overloaded. Trying CURIOSITY-REAR-CAM_[256px_x_256px].torrent.SwEsUb.DVDRip.XviD-aXXo.jpg instead."
alt="Curiosity"></nowiki>
::(line breaks added for clarity) --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 23:54, 6 August 2012 (UTC)

:::That was my error in the template. I knew "image text" that has been commonly used by Jeff was not techically correct, but I didn't actually go back and confirm it was alt text before I included that tag in the template. That's to Waldir (I believe?) for correcting the template. [[User:TheHYPO|TheHYPO]] ([[User talk:TheHYPO|talk]]) 14:14, 7 August 2012 (UTC)

== When the "official" transcript is wrong? ==
I did [[903: Extended Mind]]. Interestingly, the transcript on xkcd.com is missing the bottom line "When Wikipedia has a server outage, my apparent IQ drops by 30 points." I assume we want a complete transcript, rather than whatever xkcd.com says it is...? [[User:Stevage|Stevage]] ([[User talk:Stevage|talk]]) 04:10, 17 November 2012 (UTC)

:We're focusing on the actual transcript of the comic, not the xkcd.com transcript. The official transcript is usually right, but even Randall makes mistakes sometimes. [[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]][[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>(talk)</tt>]] 04:24, 17 November 2012 (UTC)

== Milestone: half the comics explained!! ==

Hi all! I'm pleased to announce that we have just broke the 50% mark for xkcd explanations! The page that balanced the count (568 explained, 568 to go, at the time) was [[877: Beauty]], created 01:31 UTC, 21 November 2012 by [[User:Davidy22]]. Congratulations!! :D --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 03:10, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

:The caterer's been called! The punch will be arriving soon! Go [[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]]! [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]]_a ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 06:53, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

::[[File:freedom.png]] Punch is served! [[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]][[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>(talk)</tt>]] 07:11, 21 November 2012 (UTC)

But the Main page says 407 explanations, 731 to go! What's up with that? --[[User:St.nerol|St.nerol]] ([[User talk:St.nerol|talk]]) 21:00, 23 November 2012 (UTC)

== Reverse? ==

Why in the Archive why are all the thing up until "Heatmap" in Reverse? Can someone please answer? [[User:Tmack3|Tmack3]] ([[User talk:Tmack3|talk]]) 08:28, 20 February 2013 (UTC)
:Archive? Can you provide a link or screenshot? '''[[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 04:43, 19 February 2013 (UTC)

http://xkcd.com/archive/ [[User:Tmack3|Tmack3]] ([[User talk:Tmack3|talk]]) 08:28, 20 February 2013 (UTC)

::Ah, that's because the comic right after that, rtl, has a right-to-left character in it that flips all the proceeding text. '''[[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 00:13, 20 February 2013 (UTC)

Ah, ok, i see that now. When I 1st saw that RTL I just thought that it was random letters, thankyou for explaining it for me. [[User:Tmack3|Tmack3]] ([[User talk:Tmack3|talk]]) 08:28, 20 February 2013 (UTC)

It also depends on what browser you are on because on Google Chrome it was normal. [[User:Tmack3|Tmack3]] ([[User talk:Tmack3|talk]]) 09:08, 20 February 2013 (UTC)

== Do you think this question was asked by one of the xkcd people? ==

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090301060752AAtYugc [[User:Tmack3|Tmack3]] ([[User talk:Tmack3|talk]]) 08:38, 20 February 2013 (UTC)

== Matthew Reilly ==

I would just like to tell everyone that I asked Matthew Reilly (the author) if he is ever scared that a velociraptor is going to attack him, and he said NO! He clearly needs to start worrying about them! [[User:Tmack3|Tmack3]] ([[User talk:Tmack3|talk]]) 10:45, 22 February 2013 (UTC)

== What can we learn section ==
First of all I love your work. I believe deeper understanding of each XKCD can make a world a better place and I thank you sincerely for starting this webpage. I wanted to ask what you think about "What can we learn?" section I've been adding to some of the pages. Thank you - [[User:E-inspired|E-inspired]] ([[User talk:E-inspired|talk]]) 13:27, 28 February 2013 (UTC)

:This site is actually the work of multiple editors working slowly and steadily to fill in explanations for all the old comics. Some of the xkcd comics are incredibly deep - comic [[956]] is such a poignant comic that digs into the DRM issue on so many levels. Your reflections on many of the comics are very much warranted and you're helping us create talk pages with high-quality opening posts, which is great for future discussion on this wiki. It'd be nice if you could refrain from putting headers in talk pages, technical limitations of the wiki make long explanation pages choke when headings are in the discussion page. Other than that, keep up the good work! '''[[User:Davidy22|Davidy²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 13:42, 28 February 2013 (UTC)

::I've put in my 2 cents to comic [[956]], and thank you for teaching me how to comment and link to other comics - [[User:E-inspired|E-inspired]] ([[User talk:E-inspired|talk]]) 13:58, 28 February 2013 (UTC)

::: FYI, you can always make pseudo-headings using a horizontal rule and a bold "header", but honestly I think a simple standard opening sentence would suffice. --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 12:14, 2 March 2013 (UTC)

:Oh, and the guy who draws xkcd is called {{w|Randall Munroe}}. So many glowing things to be said about him. '''[[User:Davidy22|Davidy²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 13:44, 28 February 2013 (UTC)

::Yes, I can't thank him enough for simplifying complex issues to funny stories, I think it's exactly what our generation needs - [[User:E-inspired|E-inspired]] ([[User talk:E-inspired|talk]]) 13:58, 28 February 2013 (UTC)

:I'm in favor of a Mr. Rogers style of 'what lesson can be learned' on the talk page, but make sure your comments don't come across as sanctimonious and holier-than-thou as that can be really off-putting. [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]]_a ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 19:06, 28 February 2013 (UTC)

:: You are absolutely correct, I have not thought of that, please trust me I did not do it on purpose. Thank you Mr. Lcarsos - [[User:E-inspired|E-inspired]] ([[User talk:E-inspired|talk]]) 19:55, 28 February 2013 (UTC)

Thank you David, and I apologize that I've not made it clear that by your work, I do mean your collective work (the wiki is only as good as all the people behind it). I was trying to put the headers to allow others to find the section easier in case they start looking for it, perhaps I could make a suggestion to make it a standalone section so that others would be encouraged to contribute their own understanding of lessons they have noticed from each comic. I know the lessons I've seen, but I would love to learn from others as much as I hope they can learn from me and Mr. XKCD, thank you. - [[User:E-inspired|E-inspired]] ([[User talk:E-inspired|talk]]) 13:48, 28 February 2013 (UTC)

== DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD ==

Hello fellow editors. Do you remember the last time we were hit by a surge of automated spam? Neither do I. ConfirmEdit has really done a number on the volume of spam that we're eating - one spam account has been created since we finished configuring confirmEdit, and zero anon edits have been spam. Zero. Can you say happiness? Can you say party? '''[[User:Davidy22|Davidy²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 14:41, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

:Hehe, I'm glad! Thanks for being so relentless on the spam-fighting all this time! Maybe we should make up a new reason to make Jeff remove the /wiki/ in the URL? ;) –[[User:St.nerol|St.nerol]] ([[User talk:St.nerol|talk]]) 18:11, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

:: Awesome news! Finally the patrolling feature will be usable: [{{fullurl:Special:RecentChanges|hideanons=1&hidepatrolled=1&from=20121204025000&days=365&limit=1000}} Unpatrolled changes by registered users] / [{{fullurl:Special:RecentChanges|hideliu=1&hidepatrolled=1&from=20121204025000&days=365&limit=1000}} Unpatrolled changes by anonymous users] :) --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 12:27, 2 March 2013 (UTC)

== 1000th comic explanation!! ==

Hi all! It apparently went unnoticed that '''we have recently surpassed the mark of 1000 comic explanations!''' Some calculations based on [[:Category:Comics]] and [[Special:NewPages]] led me to the conclusion that the 1000th explanation was [[681: Gravity Wells]], created by [[User:AlexRNL]] just yesterday! Yay! This calls for a celebration, no? Congrats to [[Special:ContributionScores|everyone]] who made this happen! I'll edit [[Mediawiki:Sitenotice]] with a congratulatory message. Way to go, guys! --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 16:04, 10 April 2013 (UTC)
:ps - I also took the opportunity to flesh out our [[explain xkcd|about/history page]]. Please take a look and fix/add any details I might have missed. --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 16:06, 10 April 2013 (UTC)

== Style guide ==
Is there a style guide for this wiki? --[[User:PeterMortensen|PeterMortensen]] ([[User talk:PeterMortensen|talk]]) 20:14, 10 August 2013 (UTC)
:Oh, sorry, I did forget to answer here. A guide on this is not easy, many individual comics do need special layouts because they have content never can match to a style guide. But I will give a try [[Help:Style Guide]].--[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 21:18, 15 August 2013 (UTC)

== Adblock ==

I've whitelisted the site in adblock, but the ads are still blocked.
Anyone know what' going on here and how I can fix it?--[[User:ParadoX|ParadoX]] ([[User talk:ParadoX|talk]]) 04:34, 27 September 2013 (UTC)
:Huh. I was wondering why our impression counts weren't rising. I thought it was just because this site had high turnover. I've changed the webpage that the word whitelisting links to, try the instructions there instead. Project wonderful is our ad provider, and they've been pretty good to us so far. Also, thanks for helping to support the site! '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 04:40, 27 September 2013 (UTC)
::Great! I don't really mid ads as long as they aren't intrusive. Works now, Hope everyone else does it as well.--[[User:ParadoX|ParadoX]] ([[User talk:ParadoX|talk]]) 05:16, 27 September 2013 (UTC)
::I saw you wrote "the webpage that the word whitelisting links to" so I went to the search box and typed whitelisting. My search didn't yield anything useful: [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?search=whitelisting&go=Go&title=Special%3ASearch]. I don't know how to create the missing page but there oughta be a link for someone like me who searches for whitelist or whitelisting, to take them to the instructions you refer to. [[User:SaxTeacher|SaxTeacher]] ([[User talk:SaxTeacher|talk]]) 10:59, 17 May 2014 (UTC)
:::We already have this linked somewhere, but [https://www.projectwonderful.com/adblock.php this] is the link you want. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 13:41, 17 May 2014 (UTC)

I normally access this site through the android app "xkcd browser". That app only links to the content part of the site and doesn't show the side bar, so the adds aren't shown either. Might be worth discussing it with the author. [[Special:Contributions/109.158.126.139|109.158.126.139]] 08:06, 27 September 2013 (UTC)

:We support those avenues completely, you don't need to feel bad if you use an app to browse this site. We're only really concerned when we put up ads and our impressions are less than half our page hits, because that essentially means more than half our readers aren't contributing to server costs. That's really hard to deal with. We have enough daily page hits to qualify as web publishers at very big ad agencies, but we've had to settle for relatively low rates at the smaller Project Wonderful because 60% of our users were using adblock, so the agencies rejected us because our valuable "paying" audience was too low for them to consider us. That's been the difference between us using dedicated servers to host the site and hiring a contractor to set it up, and the (admittedly somewhat decent) shared hosting plan that we have to settle for now. We can only afford the shared hosting, because the small-scale advertisers at Project Wonderful don't even pay for full days of advertising; most of the time, we make less per day than the posted $3.90 price. That said, we're grateful that Project Wonderful would take us as a publisher when no one else would, but it really feels like the difference between being accepted to community college and being accepted to an ivy league school. For a similar reason, the Google ads route was not sufficient to satisfy our needs; not a large enough proportion of our users were looking at ads, so we either needed to spam them and degrade the site, or we needed to make them refresh, which makes pages slow and causes needlessly high traffic for a lot of users. We didn't want our ads to make the site worse, because that would drive away users and defeat the purpose of us being a public resource for xkcd readers. We actually decided to go the agency route pretty early, because adsense takes a massive cut of revenues and gives us little control over what ads or advertisers actually showed, which was not okay with us. Whoah, I wrote a lot. I hope it was coherent. Maybe someday I'll collect my thoughts and write a proper summary on how and why we advertise. Also, if you have any questions about anything ad-related, you can always ask us at [[explain xkcd talk:Advertise Here]]. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 11:15, 27 September 2013 (UTC)

== Feynman? ==

Feynman (both in [[182: Nash|living]] and [[397: Unscientific|zombie]] form) probably deserves an entry in the [[Template:Navbox characters|character navbox]] template doesn't he? [[Special:Contributions/128.250.152.198|128.250.152.198]] 02:21, 1 October 2013 (UTC)
:That's two comics out of 1200+. Three if you count the song. Not quite enough yet. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 02:27, 1 October 2013 (UTC)
:: If that's the criterion, then we need to get rid of [[Brown Hat]]. [[User:Djbrasier|Djbrasier]] ([[User talk:Djbrasier|talk]]) 19:30, 11 March 2015 (UTC)

== Job Interview (Atomic Soup) ==

The soup is clearly being poured out of an atomic socket. This "atomic soup" is probably not a reference to the alcoholic brew favoured by Scottish tramps, but more likely to the virtual nature of the company. {{unsigned|Sulis}}
:Hey, go here [[Talk:1293: Job Interview‎]] for discussions. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 19:58, 20 November 2013 (UTC)

== Is there a similar, transcripted service for The Oatmeal? ==

Hi everyone - this site is a real gem, I've sent it to a friend of mine who can't read XKCD because she's blind. The transcripts on this site are a real boon!

Does anyone know if there is a similar service for The Oatmeal? I've searched and searched, but found nothing so far.

Thanks :)

Jeff

:As far as I know we are kind of unique in the web comics world. I think we get away with it because Randall publishes all his comics as Creative Commons Attribution, Non-Commercial. We liberally link back to xkcd, and we don't make a penny (The ads are just to cover server expenses, because wikis and the databases that support them get big when you're covering a body of work like xkcd). I haven't looked into the copyright Matt uses for the Oatmeal, but he seems like a cool enough guy to not kill a community transcripting effort of his comics. [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]]_a ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 20:32, 4 March 2014 (UTC)

== what if 103: Vanishing Water - comics ==

Please explain the 2nd and the 4th comics from http://what-if.xkcd.com/103/

"Just tried to sail my boat over land, because I didn't learn from that kid in the Zephyr." (who's the kid from Zephyr?)

"A third time?" (maybe whales were dropped twice before in other what-ifs?) [[User:Daniel Carrero|Daniel Carrero]] ([[User talk:Daniel Carrero|talk]]) 21:57, 9 July 2014 (UTC)

:"A third time?" is a reference to a whale falling twice in "Hitchiker's guide to the Galaxy". Been a while, so I don't remember the details of how this fit in, but the second time it happened to the whale, he thought "Not again" or something along those lines. [[User:Djbrasier|Djbrasier]] ([[User talk:Djbrasier|talk]]) 18:49, 11 March 2015 (UTC)

::Actually, it was the bowl of petunias that thought to itself "Oh, no, not again." [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.73|108.162.216.73]] 00:48, 5 April 2016 (UTC)

Raises the question of if we should explain jokes imbedded in What If comics. [[User:Djbrasier|Djbrasier]] ([[User talk:Djbrasier|talk]]) 18:49, 11 March 2015 (UTC)

== Discussion usage ==

Am I being a killjoy in feeling that the discussion section should be mainly limited to discussion on improving the explanation, gathering consensus and that type of thing.
Specifically, the discussion for [[1418: Horse]] is quickly turning into every man and his dog posting a sentence in the style of the comic, which doesn't really add anything to the page other than clutter.

Personally, I'd just delete most of them, but I think I might be turning into a grumpy old bugger... --[[User:Pudder|Pudder]] ([[User talk:Pudder|talk]]) 20:32, 10 September 2014 (UTC)
:The discussion is also there for just talking about the comic. Those guys aren't wildly off-topic, there's no need to clamp down on what they get to talk about. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 17:44, 10 September 2014 (UTC)

::Yep, I must just be grumpy and draconian! Lesson learned --[[User:Pudder|Pudder]] ([[User talk:Pudder|talk]]) 20:32, 10 September 2014 (UTC)

== 2014 Christmas header ==

Since the header for the site current contains a [http://imgs.xkcd.com/store/store_default.png graphic link to the store] that promises that Randall probably won't ship you a [[:Category:Bobcats|bobcat]], it seems to me that probably ought to be preserved and explained somewhere. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.56.189|173.245.56.189]] 17:45, 3 December 2014 (UTC)

== XKCD at LanguageLog ==

Arnold Zwicky (of the well-known linguistics blog Language Log) has put together a list of linguistics-related XKCD strips, here: http://arnoldzwicky.org/the-language-of-comics/comics-lists/xkcd-cartoons/ I thought it might be appropriate for a copy of the list (maybe a category) to be created from it. [[Special:Contributions/199.27.133.79|199.27.133.79]] 03:48, 28 December 2014 (UTC)
:[[:Category:Language]] '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 04:39, 28 December 2014 (UTC)

== Bookmarklet ==

Hello there, I've created a little bookmarklet (https://ginkobox.fr/shaarli/?a77vQw) and I thought it might be useful for someone out there.

When launched, it adds the 'explain' before xkcd.com and the browser loads the explainxkcd page. I've tested it only on Firefox.

(Contact @ https://ginkobox.fr/wiki/doku.php?id=about) {{unsigned ip|‎108.162.229.100}}

== Is there a RSS feed for What If? ==

Is there a RSS feed for What If?--[[User:17jiangz1|17jiangz1]] ([[User talk:17jiangz1|talk]]) 11:59, 29 March 2015 (UTC)
:No, because we cover the comics. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 18:57, 29 March 2015 (UTC)

== My User Page ==

Can someone help me with [[user:17jiangz1|my user page]]? I can't seem to remove the large spaaaaaace on top.--[[User:17jiangz1|17jiangz1]] ([[User talk:17jiangz1|talk]]) 07:43, 9 April 2015 (UTC)
: The only solution I've found is to remove the contribution scores (data6=...). Not sure what exactly is triggering this bug. --[[User:SlashMe|SlashMe]] ([[User talk:SlashMe|talk]]) 21:02, 9 April 2015 (UTC)
I am receiving "Expression error: Unrecognised punctuation character ""." for <code><pre>{{#expr: {{formatnum:{{#cscore:17jiangz1|pages}}|R}}/{{formatnum:{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}|R}}*100 round 5 }}</pre></code>--[[User:17jiangz1|17jiangz1]] ([[User talk:17jiangz1|talk]]) 05:46, 10 April 2015 (UTC)
:Bump?--[[User:17jiangz1|17jiangz1]] ([[User talk:17jiangz1|talk]]) 06:48, 14 April 2015 (UTC)

== What-If ==

In What-If 150, "Tatoonie Rainbow", http://what-if.xkcd.com/150/ the first image title-text says: "Vowing not to reference that video any further anywhere in this article, on principle.". What video is he talking about? [[User:5mi11er|slmiller]] ([[User talk:5mi11er|talk]]) 14:29, 27 May 2016 (UTC)

It hasn't updated for 2 weeks. why?--[[User:17jiangz1|17jiangz1]] ([[User talk:17jiangz1|talk]]) 06:50, 25 April 2015 (UTC)
:Looks like they're on hold for a few months (Until July 14th). Too bad, I enjoyed them. ([http://what-if.xkcd.com/ Look at the top of the What-If page]) --[[User:Zman9600|Zman9600]] ([[User talk:Zman9600|talk]]) 20:24, 6 May 2015 (UTC)
:What is so special about the date and time? Seems very specific: ''July 14th, 2015 at 7:49:59 AM EDT.'' --[[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.99|141.101.98.99]] 12:48, 28 May 2015 (UTC)
Looks like it's set for the 40th anniversary of the Apollo-Soyuz mission launch. {{unsigned ip|108.162.237.158}}

What If updates will resume on July 14th, 2015 at 7:49:59 AM EDT. By that time {{w|New Horizons}} will have it's closest approach to {{w|Pluto}}. See here: http://pluto.jhuapl.edu/ --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 20:34, 5 June 2015 (UTC)

== thanks for having a working website ==

the search function on xkcd.com was taken off, and now the random function seems to be having issues, but it's nice that here both work [[Special:Contributions/188.114.97.114|188.114.97.114]] 19:09, 9 June 2015 (UTC)
:We do our best. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 22:27, 9 June 2015 (UTC)

== Ada Munroe ==

The latest [[what if?]] number 139 has a question by "Ada Munroe". Is she related to [[Randall]] in any way? --{{User:17jiangz1/signature|06:57, 09 August 2015}}

== Out of curiosity ==

I notice that whenever someone links to tvtropes.org in an explanation, someone changes the link to the matching page on allthetropes.org. I'm curious as to why that is. Is there some kind of terms of use conflict at play here that an editor should be keeping in mind? [[Special:Contributions/199.27.128.156|199.27.128.156]] 06:33, 26 October 2015 (UTC)
:TVtropes does not restrict links to their site, and if this has been happening there are some time-outs that I need to be handing out. Can you point me to some of the edits where this is happening? '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 08:24, 26 October 2015 (UTC)
::The specific example I had was, um, [[1468: Worrying]]. On Jan 3rd the links went to tvtropes.org, and on March 18th they were all changed over to allthetropes.orain.org. I just found it curious, I wasn't sure what the reason for it was [[Special:Contributions/162.158.255.47|162.158.255.47]] 10:32, 29 October 2015 (UTC)
:::Reverted. Typically, the reason people change perfectly good links to specific, obscure links in wikis is usually self-advertising. I'll be watching that guy's edits in the future. Thanks for the heads up. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 18:00, 29 October 2015 (UTC)

== Sightless readers offended by the "It's 'cause you're dumb" tagline. ==

I'll admit, every now and again the comic is over my head. ...because I'm dumb in that particular field. However, blind users who enjoy xkcd must do so through explainxkcd. They are NOT dumb. They are *blind*. Without explainxkcd, they would have no idea what is in the comics panels.

Explainxkcd is a great site. There is no question it provides a service to the internet community.

Please see this thread (last paragraph) on Userfriendly.org. Keep in mind, the end user is sightless and explainxkcd is "viewed" through a screen reader. http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/read.cgi?id=20160207&tid=3930989 (Anonymous)

: The guy on that other site is complaining about that XKCD does not work well in a screen reader -- that is not our problem, but a problem for Randall to solve on his own site. We cannot be the catch all for everything on the internet that Randall broke [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 15:37, 8 February 2016 (UTC)
:: Agreed --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 19:28, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

Honestly, I never even noticed the tagline in question. Humorous to sighted folks, sure. ...but obviously offensive to those who have no choice but to access xkcd through explainxkcd.

I'll leave it to the administrators or the community to figure something out, if anything at all. Maybe no one cares? I didn't come here to make any suggestions, only to point out how offensive those 4 words are to some users of the website. {{unsigned ip|108.162.238.88}}

:Alright, put a link here in the site notice. What does everyone else think? I'm open to changing it, it's something people complain about fairly periodically and our identity isn't completely tied to the tagline, I feel. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 09:16, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

::Well, we definitely shouldn't change anything because that particular guy is upset. It's one thing to be offended, but he's also attacking both this site and Randal Monroe. I don't think that sort of behavior should be rewarded. I actually have a rule online where, if someone acts like a jerk to me, I will be kind, but I won't give them what they want. I think a lot of the problems with people being jerks to others is that they still get what they want, so what reason do they have to stop? If he wants us to change it, he should address us like an adult and ask us himself.

::But you claim this is a common complaint. Then I would say we need more info. My instinct would be that people don't understand that it's a joke. But then my solution would be to do what the site is designed to do and explain the joke, rather than take it down. If there's actually something about it that's offensive to an entire class of people, that's different. I am unaware of a stereotype that blind people are stupid, but I'm open to the idea that I don't know.

::I'm not particularly married to the tag line. I actually didn't even notice it was there. But I'm loathe to take it down over a misunderstanding. I can't think of a similarly humorous replacement that would not be offensive, but I can at least suggest "Because nobody knows everything." --[[User:Trlkly|Trlkly]] ([[User talk:Trlkly|talk]]) 09:42, 8 February 2016 (UTC)
:::I've gotten these before. There's a [[Talk:Main_Page#Header_message|slowly growing]] section in the main page discussion page and a complaint buried somewhere in my talk page and they're usually quite unhappy. I pegged it up this time round because there's special needs involved, and a good part of our intended appeal is the transcripts for the blind. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 10:45, 8 February 2016 (UTC)
:::I like your reasoning, what if "It's 'cause you're dumb" was follow by "[citation needed]" and make the whole thing a link to a page explaining the header. It would be in character of the page, and xkcd. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.34|108.162.221.34]] 00:28, 13 February 2016 (UTC) Sam

::Is he one of those people who are so self-centered and 'entitled' that just because they have a disability they assume that everyone is constantly trying to offend them, even in the most unlikeliest of cases? Does he actually believe that the tag line was written with the intention of offending blind people? This is ridiculous. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.106.71|141.101.106.71]] 11:04, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

"Just in case you feel dumb"? "Some comics may be funnier than they appear"?[[Special:Contributions/199.27.130.198|199.27.130.198]] 09:55, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

How about simply removing it? At least until we find something that isn't offensive to anyone - which might be very hard to obtain. [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 10:34, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

Because you're crippled... That's worse I guess. 
But before considering the "you're dumb" tagline, one must think about the name of this wiki. It is called '''Explain''' xkcd, not read xkcd, and explaining is for dumb people, not blind people. 
Maybe one thing we can do is add a "(unless you are just here for the transcript)" subtext, with a link to the transcript section, which has the advantage of both taming offended blind readers (maybe) and provide a direct, "spoilerless" link. --[[User:GuB|GuB]] ([[User talk:GuB|talk]]) 10:40, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

I need explainxkcd for two reasons: being visually impaired, although I can see most of the comics I often miss crucial details that I find only in the transcript; and as a non-American, I lack many cultural references (books, movies, songs, sayings...) that are given in the explanations.
I don't think either of these reasons makes me "dumb". However, I never found the tagline offensive. It was immediately obvious to me that it was meant as humor. Who could seriously think that someone is dumb just because they haven't read the specific book that Randall is parodying in a given comic? Or because they're not familiar with a specific programming language or Unix command? IMHO the tagline *is* funny precisely because very few people can actually "get" all the comics without an explanation. Suggesting that anyone who isn't part of the 0.1% of the population who share all of Randall's abilities and references, is dumb, can't be anything but a joke. Adding to the lot those who can't get the comics because they're blind doesn't make the joke more offensive. It's a sad world where political correctness kills all forms of humor.

On the other hand, the tagline is not an essential part of the site and if a significant number want it removed, so be it.
Zetfr 10:46, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

:Well not everybody's mind works the same way, and some people legitimately cannot grasp humor very easily. They may come to read the explanations precisely because they can't recognize what about a given comic is supposed to be humorous, and they likewise may not be able to tell that the tagline is just a joke. Besides, the tagline is equating a lack of knowledge with a lack of intelligence, which also makes it inaccurate and kind of kills the humor for those who stop and think about it.

:I personally agree with the above "Because nobody knows everything." approach. I would suggest something along the lines of "Because you won't always get the joke." --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.242.134|108.162.242.134]] 11:06, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

:: This sounds like a bunch of dumb people coming together and suggesting that the rest of people should be more like them (joke intended) [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 15:33, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

: +1 on this. '''Keep'''. --[[User:SlashMe|SlashMe]] ([[User talk:SlashMe|talk]]) 20:15, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote '''removal''' [[User:Mikemk|Mikemk]] ([[User talk:Mikemk|talk]]) 11:01, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

Mostly agree with Zetfr, it is a rather obvious joke, and this is a website about a webcomic which is mostly about fun, it would be different if this was some serious news portal, but it isn't, and in my humble opinion people who can't take a joke shouldn't even be here. There will always be ranters and people who get offended, we should not let them make decisions for us. I sincerely believe vast majority of people, blind or otherwise, understand it. [[User:Jaalenja|Jaalenja]] ([[User talk:Jaalenja|talk]])

:I agree with Zetfr. If a user doesn't understand that it is a joke, then he won't understand XKCD's jokes, either, no matter how much explaination he can get.
:--[[User:Lou Crazy|Lou Crazy]] ([[User talk:Lou Crazy|talk]]) 12:12, 8 February 2016 (UTC)
::I also agree with the above, and like the part of Zetfr about because you need a reader to use the page you do not need to be offended by an obvious joke --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 19:28, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

if i had a vote i'd say change the "because you're dumb" from text to a picture with alt text of something slightly less rude. "because you're using a screenreader," perhaps. although that would show up on mouseover. meh. whatever. --13:01, 8 February 2016 (UTC)
:and someone isn't "entitled" because they get annoyed about something that doesn't annoy you. as a sighted person i don't even look at the headers on the page. i would imagine that since the text in question is at the top of the page he has to listen to it every single time the page is refreshed. which is annoying enough if it's not insulting. --[[Special:Contributions/141.101.106.161|141.101.106.161]] 13:06, 8 February 2016 (UTC)
:It is bad to have the alt-text saying something differently, but since the current tagline is not offensive to non-blind people then why would it be offensive to a blind person. [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 15:24, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote '''keep''' -- Blind people do not have to come to this site, they can just use xkcd.com directly and if that is not working for blind people then that is Randall's problem not ours. The tag line has been there for years while I have noticed it before and used the site and I have never been offended, if a blind person is offended maybe they should stop using the internet. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.255.109|162.158.255.109]] 15:18, 8 February 2016 (UTC)
: I second that -- the tag line does not appear to offend non-blind people, it should not offend blind people either [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 15:24, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

Voting '''KEEP''' -- the tag line is a joke, and who is to say that blind people cannot be dumb [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 15:24, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote '''keep''' as well. I don't see any reason to change it; it's not a jab at disabled people, blind or otherwise. The site is called '''explain'''xkcd, and everything here centers around explaining the comic, not being a transcription service. (If that's not the case, then maybe other things need changing too.) I always thought the tagline fit nicely with the "sarcasm" part of xkcd's own tagline. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.26|108.162.216.26]] 15:26, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote '''KEEP and satisfy both sides'''. If you examine the HTML, or use [https://addons.mozilla.org/en-us/firefox/addon/fangs-screen-reader-emulator/ Fangs] (free screen reader), you may notice there is a jump-to-nav div element that lets people with screen readers jump to various parts of the page. The jump-to-nav div is only a few HTML lines below the tagline. I'd recommend:
# Moving the jump-to-nav div to '''before''' the tagline
# Adding a "Jump to Transcript" link in the jump-to-nav div.
# Test it with [https://addons.mozilla.org/en-us/firefox/addon/fangs-screen-reader-emulator/ Fangs] in Firefox to simulate a screen reader.
This way, screen-reader users can jump to the transcript and don't have to hear the tagline every time they visit an explainxkcd.com page.
-- [[User:Hat|Hat]] ([[User talk:Hat|talk]]) 15:44, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

Consider "Do you get it now?" [[Special:Contributions/198.41.235.11|198.41.235.11]] 16:09, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote '''keep''': it's reasonable and no change is warranted

I like the suggestion of '''keeping''' the current tagline, but changing it to an '''image with alttext''' saying something like "because you're using a screenreader". I also vote to move the link to the transcript to above the tagline. [[User:Rileysci|Rileysci]] ([[User talk:Rileysci|talk]]) 17:32, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

: Great idea, but here's an even better one: '''Keep''' the tagline for visual browsers, but '''add code''' such as [http://stackoverflow.com/questions/672156/is-there-a-way-to-write-content-that-screen-readers-will-ignore <code> CSS { speak: none; } and aria-hidden="true"</code>] that prevents it from being spoken by screen readers. -- [[User:Frankie|Frankie]] ([[User talk:Frankie|talk]]) 15:31, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

I get the joke and I'm not offended by it, but it seems to me that it really sticks out on this site and it doesn't seem consistent with Randall's sense of humor. Everyone on this site is very inclusive and eager to share all perspectives and points of view. I come here both to see the humor that I have the knowledge to understand and to learn more about the world the way Randall sees it. In short, I come here to be one of the lucky 10,000. In fact, I would suggest that as the tag line, "Congratulations! You're one of today's lucky 10,000!". Inside joke that can link to the comic (http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/1053:_Ten_Thousand) and it is welcoming. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.170|108.162.245.170]] 18:44, 8 February 2016 (UTC)
: +1 on this. '''Change''' [[User:Jkshapiro|Jkshapiro]] ([[User talk:Jkshapiro|talk]]) 03:45, 9 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote '''keep'''. In case it is not kept then it should be changed to something completely different. Te idea of making a title text to an image I really dislike, although I even more dislike adding anything to the existing one to either refer to people coming for the transcript or making excuses for the obvious joke. This has been a part of the page forever, I have seen it almost every time I come here. To begin with I did feel dumb sometimes, but I was never offended by it, just amused. But of course an explain page is for those who did not get the joke. And there are other pages that explains the comic. I do not know if they have a transcript? But I'm happy to know that some people must really enjoy the detailed transcripts that I usually try to provide. I had just not though about the blind perspective. I more use the transcript to make sure every one agrees on what is seen in the images of the comic. Having said all this, I must admit that the best suggestion for a change so far is the one posted above my post (about the lucky 10,000). :-) --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 19:28, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote keep, for exactly the reasons explained by Zeftr above. Changing it to an image with alt text would be OK also. [[User:Miamiclay|Miamiclay]] ([[User talk:Miamiclay|talk]]) 20:45, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

:I vote '''Change''' it because it is too easily mistaken as an insult instead of a joke. At least change it to ''Because you are stupid''.... Ah, maybe instead ''Because xkcd is far beyond common knowledge'' or ''Because hardly anyone gets everything'' or ''Because it is usually nerdly esoteric even for geeks''. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.46|108.162.221.46]] 21:39, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

:I vote '''Change'''. I have never been a big fan of the tagline. I don't know everything, but I am certainly not dumb. Also, I echo the reference to (http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/1053:_Ten_Thousand). This comic has always been about expanding knowledge, not making you feel guilty for not knowing something.

:'''Change''': I realize the "It's because you're dumb" tagline follows the sarcastic nature of Randall's humor, but there are enough people who don't get or appreciate that sort of humor and are likely to be more offended by it, special needs or no. Here's my suggestion: "For those of us who don't get it." [[User:KieferSkunk|KieferSkunk]] ([[User talk:KieferSkunk|talk]]) 21:59, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

At what point is "enough" people offended? I've only seen evidence of several (https://xkcd.com/1070/) visually impaired users actually offended by the site, along with a couple people who didn't specify their visual ability. I don't know the traffic on this site, but I would expect it to be on the order of 10^4 or higher. So is this discussion about changing something that a handful of people find offensive? Or is there an actual problem of something inappropriate on the site. If this is all about a couple people finding something offensive, I imagine a few christians might take issue with (https://xkcd.com/709/). Should we start another discussion about accommodating them? Or add a disclaimer that the views expressed by Randall Munroe are his own and do not reflect those of this site? [[User:Beardmcbeardson|Beardmcbeardson]] ([[User talk:Beardmcbeardson|talk]]) 01:25, 9 February 2016 (UTC)
: So you vote to '''keep''' -- right? [[User:Spongebog|Spongebog]] ([[User talk:Spongebog|talk]]) 04:30, 9 February 2016 (UTC)

'''Slightly Change'''-- make it more obviously tongue in cheek. "It's cause we're dumb" or "For those of us who need it" I agree with the point about not complying with people on the internet who can't behave like adults, however I've never found the line particularly funny. Also change the jump-to-nav, as that would just get annoying to hear it every time you open up the site. I am not recommending changing it based on the imagined offenses of others. I just think it could be funnier.[[User:NotLock|NotLock]] ([[User talk:NotLock|talk]]) 06:29, 9 February 2016 (UTC)

I like changing to "For those of us who need it"

'''Keep''' Trying to satisfy everyone is like trying to understand every comic. It probably won't happen. As an example, using the 'one of 10 000' example provided above can insult a bunch of people that are not from the States simply because the comic (and the reference to the comic for that matter) will make them feel left out. My other reasons for voting keep have all been mentioned already. People get insulted so easily, let's try not to encourage this behavior by rewarding it. [[User:Bon|Bon]] ([[User talk:Bon|talk]]) 07:16, 9 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote '''Change''' because I find it slightly offensive myself. If we change it, we should replace it with something that everybody would interpret as humorous, e.g. "Because we can't all be rocket scientists". [[User:Condor70|Condor70]] ([[User talk:Condor70|talk]]) 08:25, 9 February 2016 (UTC)

'''Keep'''. Next thing we know, liberal arts majors will complain about xkcd science being offensive. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.91.229|141.101.91.229]] 10:12, 9 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote for '''change''' or '''remove'''. Regarding the former, while I know it's supposed to be a joke, I never found it humorous myself and, unlike others that wrote before me, I don't think it relates to the humor or sarcasm used by Randall. It being offensive is not part of my motivation for my vote. I agree with some of the suggestions written up to now. Regarding the latter, I don't really think it's existence is necessary. Regardless, changing the div things is a must. [[User:GuiRitter|GuiRitter]] ([[User talk:GuiRitter|talk]]) 16:25, 9 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote for '''change'''. You could keep much of the humour by changing it to something like "because ignorance '''can''' be cured". [[User:Farnz|Farnz]] ([[User talk:Farnz|talk]])

If I may vote (as a happy international user of this site, but not yet a contributor), one more vote for '''Keep''' - at least as "don't change now, because of this specific request, because of perceived offensiveness". For several reasons, which have been mentioned already:

a) I think it's funny. It also fits perfectly with the overall XKCD humor. And the same line of thinking as the book "You are now less dumb" from "YouAreNotSoSmart.com".

b) It's so obviously generic (directed at everyone reading it) I fail to understand how it can be interpreted as insult instead of irony. Even worse: I fail to understand why it should be _especially_ insulting to blind people. Having a transcript for them to use is nice, but it's merely one of the aspects this site provides (and it's not even at the top nor are there pages "transcript only", so blind are no primary audience)

c) If this site decides to actually help blind people more, how about: putting the tagline in the image (so it's not "read every time"), put the transcript at the top / provide pages with only transcripts, so that the original XKCD can be consumed prior to the explanations here (just as non-blind users would see it)

d) this request follows the current Outragism trend, so I do suspect that it's not actually blind people feeling offended, but privileged SJWs thinking about who might possibly feel offended, bringing change to the world where it's not beneficial even for those they claim to support. Comparable to PETA.

While I'm at it - THANK YOU for this site. Most XKCD I mostly understand. But due to being an international reader, some aspects of American Culture I need explainXKCD to grasp, and other aspects it's just nice to see more details, cross-references with other comics, and hidden gems.
[[User:Zefiro|Zefiro]] ([[User talk:Zefiro|talk]]) 18:46, 9 February 2016 (UTC)
:I'm an "international user", too, and I suppose a lot of users of this site are international users who need to be explained some xkcd jokes that would be obvious to any native English speaker living in the US. I don't have an opinion about changing the tagline or keeping it, but I would like to notice that "Because you are dumb" is the kind of joke that would need an explanation - it would be hard for me to tell if it's a joke or an insult. Therefore, an easier joke could have some advantage.--[[User:Pere prlpz|Pere prlpz]] ([[User talk:Pere prlpz|talk]]) 22:16, 9 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote for '''change.''' I know it's a joke, but it's not particularly funny, and can easily be mistaken for an insult. [[User:Ekedolphin|Ekedolphin]] ([[User talk:Ekedolphin|talk]]) 20:13, 9 February 2016 (UTC)

I agree with Trlkly (and Isaac(https://xkcd.com/1448/)), more information is needed. The purpose of this site is to explain xkcd (obviously, from the name) so people come here primarily to seek knowledge or a better understanding about xkcd. As long as the explanations or the explainers don't act like white hat (https://xkcd.com/1386/), there should be no reason to take the tagline seriously.--[[User:Beardmcbeardson|Beardmcbeardson]] ([[User talk:Beardmcbeardson|talk]]) 01:20, 10 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote KEEP, but I do support the idea of moving the jump-to to above the tagline. I believe that the tagline is obviously a joke, and that pleaing everyone is nigh impossible. I also strongly oppose the proposal to change it to an image with an alt-text of "because you're using a screen reader." Finally, I do not believe we should change the tagline. We should, if anything, remove it altogether. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.20|173.245.54.20]] 03:33, 10 February 2016 (UTC)

'''Slightly Change''' - I like 199.27.130.198's idea, "Just in case you feel dumb." [[User:Mateussf|Mateussf]] ([[User talk:Mateussf|talk]]) 04:44, 10 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote '''Change''', preferably to something like "The ''Anti'' Thing Explainer; Simple Stuff in Complicated Words!" Only, you know, more complicated to improve the joke. [[User:KitsunePhoenix|Amaroq (KitsunePhoenix)]] ([[User talk:KitsunePhoenix|talk]]) 05:01, 10 February 2016 (UTC)

What about: it's cause you need more context. I also don't like the current tagline, because dumbness would be more the inability to understand than a lack of knowledge.

'''Change''' - First thing first, as suggested, move the jump-to-nav div to before the tagline and add a "Jump to Transcript" link in the jump-to-nav div.

Then also change the tagline: it's not that good, and not that in line with the xkcd humor - it's actually ''directly opposed'' to the spirit of [[1053]]. Some better ones have already been suggested:
*"Some comics may be funnier than they appear"
*"Congratulations! You're one of today's lucky 10,000!"
*"because sometimes we all need a little help"
''Or'' we could even have a bunch of good ones like that out of which one is selected at random when the page is loaded --[[User:Jules.LT|Jules.LT]] ([[User talk:Jules.LT|talk]]) 09:17, 10 February 2016 (UTC)

I like the joke in the tag line (some of us come here because they are to stupid or to lazy to lookup all the information xkcd is joking about)
but I also find it to direct to the user. I want to add some suggestions to Jules.LT [[User:SirKitKat|sirKitKat]] ([[User talk:SirKitKat|talk]]) 10:01, 10 February 2016 (UTC)
* "Error loading tagline, click here to retry."
* "Because it is Monday morning."
* "Because you like explaining jokes."

I think people coming here and complaining because "dumb" appears to be aimed at insulting the blind are hilarious, because another meaning for "dumb" is "unable to speak." If people who were "dumb" in this way were complaining because we are using the other meaning of "dumb" it would be awkward, but degree of visual acuity is not open for the same misinterpretation. [[User:Swordsmith|Swordsmith]] ([[User talk:Swordsmith|talk]])

'''KEEP''' for the same reasons as [[User:Zefiro|Zefiro]]. If change is necessary, fix it so the screen reader doesnt say it aloud. (This ensures the change is propagated to those who have no other recourse for sightless XKCD enjoyment, and is not a ploy by SJWs who can't take sarcastic humor (why are they reading XKCD in the first place?) [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.40|108.162.221.40]] 14:06, 10 February 2016 (UTC)

It is super obviously not intended seriously, because xkcd is a technical comic that nobody will understand entirely on the first pass. If it's true, then everybody is dumb. Boo hoo.

The guy in question is under the mistaken impression that Randall runs this site and maliciously hides his transcripts under the tagline. He's also very angry about a lot of things. Sighted people have to look at the tagline every time it loads too, it's at the top of the page.

I vote '''Keep''' because I hate negotiating with terrorists. If it has the effect of filtering out people who enjoy being outraged, then it's doing a service. Image search "stephen fry offensive".

I'd be fine with moving the jump-to-nav div. I'm absolutely against making it an image with a different tagline, because then we would be depriving blind people of the joke. I'm absolutely against changing it to something less offensive. I would settle for removing it entirely, or changing it to something more offensive, such as "It's 'cause you're dumb, and get offended over dumb shit."

Or, you know, make a transcribexkcd.com site. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.217.203|108.162.217.203]] 16:39, 10 February 2016 (UTC)

'''Change''' to one of the cool new suggestions I've seen. I've always been sad about this tagline, and while I love XKCD humor, I just don't think the tagline is funny. It makes me hesitate and sometimes decide not to share this site with others who I think would love the humor, but not the tagline. The issue keeps coming up, and this is just one more way that it irritates people and causes hassle. It's obvious to me that we should find a new tagline, or just drop it for the time being. [[User:Nealmcb|Nealmcb]] ([[User talk:Nealmcb|talk]]) 17:39, 10 February 2016 (UTC)

'''Change''' The word "dumb" used as slang for "unintelligent" or "uneducated" is offensive and many better suggestions have been proposed, which retain the wry humor without the offense. Hiding behind "it's just a joke" is beneath the standards of this site. {{unsigned ip|108.162.245.134}}
:It's not hiding behind "just a joke", it IS the joke. It's tongue-in-cheek. It's so obviously false that you have to intentionally ignore the joke and manufacture offense about something benign. I'll give you that it's not that funny. It's also not that offensive. Why are we talking about something so petty. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.11|108.162.221.11]] 21:11, 10 February 2016 (UTC)

'''Keep'''. I feel like a blind person being insulted by the implication that being sightless somehow makes them unintelligent is a pretty far leap of logic. Not being able to see has no bearing whatsoever on your actual mental acuity. How many actual complaints have there been? One, a few, lots? I don't know, but if it was a significant number I might change my mind. As it stands, though, I think it's pretty clear in the site description that this site is meant for people who don't understand the comic due to its focus on obscure topics and use of technical jargon, being written by a former NASA robot technician with a bent for Linux. Using disabilities as an insult is something I don't condone, but in this case I think it's a case of certain individuals being overly sensitive. Thinking a word as mild as "dumb" is offensive is a bit much, especially since it's often used in contexts other than "uneducated" or "stupid" - I use it to describe myself all the time when I can't word proper-like. I think of it more as "scatter-brained". --[[User:KingStarscream|KingStarscream]] ([[User talk:KingStarscream|talk]]) 18:55, 10 February 2016 (UTC)

'''Change''' I feel like the "Because we can't all be rocket scientists" tagline suggested above is great; I always found the tagline to be a bit annoying because I often know all of a comic except a small part, and I come here for that. It's just unnecessarily confrontational and Randall himself has expressed in https://xkcd.com/1386/ and https://xkcd.com/1053/ that he doesn't agree with insulting ignorance. {{unsigned ip|198.41.235.179}}

'''Change AND Keep''' I get the original joke, but I love some of the new ones too. Randomly rotating tag line appear is my vote, BUT let's make the tag line clickable so that we can explain the tag line .... for those of us who don't get the joke! {{unsigned ip|108.162.216.10}}

'''Keep''', but change the jump-to-nav, and maybe make the tagline clickable. I like the tagline. Someone already said this, but this is explainxkcd, not readxkcd. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.63|108.162.216.63]] 19:37, 10 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote '''Keep''', because it's been there for so long! I remember coming here years ago and looking for the references I didn't get, and the tagline was already there. It's a legacy thing, the one thing remaining from the old website in the new fancy wiki format. [[Special:Contributions/198.41.226.204|198.41.226.204]] 20:47, 10 February 2016 (UTC)

For all you people being offended and claiming that the tagline is contrary to the spirit of xkcd, I give you [https://xkcd.com/386/ xkcd.com/386]. This entire argument is offensive to me, can we remove it? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.11|108.162.221.11]] 21:20, 10 February 2016 (UTC)

'''Keep''' The referenced posting is obviously a troll. And xkcd has transcripts so the story of the self proclaimed blind person with diabetes does not make sense. --23:43, 10 February 2016 (UTC)

Rather than "cuz you're dumb" which both asserts a trait and uses what might not be the best word choice, why not something like "Because you might be ignorant"? Dumb, after all, isn't remediable, though ignorance is. (Also, a consideration, "dumb" can mean "mute," so if there's something with screenreading for blindness, that could be read as assuming more than one disability? ("blind and dumb" akin to "deaf and dumb"?) // Possibly do something akin to the warning on the comic's site itself: "Because you might be a liberal arts major." [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.61|108.162.221.61]] 00:22, 11 February 2016 (UTC)

'''Keep''' because risk of accidental offence is never a good reason to rewrite comedy. If community wants to change suggest "Explaining Xtremely Klever Comedic Drawings"; if only to troll those who insist that the letters XKCD must stand for something (which it doesn't) [[User:Kev|Kev]] ([[User talk:Kev|talk]]) 00:37, 11 February 2016 (UTC)

−
The issue seems to boil down to:

−
Is it funny?

−
Is it overly offensive?

−
And therefore:

−
Is it worth it?

−
Throwing in my opinion, however small:
+

It's amusing to me.
The joke is clear, and universal. Offence may be taken equally by anyone reading.
It fits well.
Possibly have a hidden link for those offended. A rotating tag line could include more jokes, but...
By all means move the navigation.

An explain explainxkcd page that is linked to might work, in the spirit of metahumour.

However, it may not be as serious an issue, as the tag line is easy to ignore. Just moving HTML a bit seems like a logical, cheap and easy solution, and then we can test it. Please note that this has no technical knowledge behind it, just a reading of the above.

So, my vote goes to '''keep''', and shuffle HTML or, in order, link, replace with rotating, modify, remove.
Harmless fun. Possibly have a cookie-based option to permanently hide the tag line.
[[Special:Contributions/108.162.250.160|108.162.250.160]] 00:56, 11 February 2016 (UTC)

Apologies, I have broken formatting in the last few edits, trying to fix it...[[Special:Contributions/108.162.250.160|108.162.250.160]] 00:57, 11 February 2016 (UTC)

: My vote is '''change''', and it's not because of blind people. Let me run you through a very common scenario for new users:
:* You have a person who generally thinks of themselves as quite smart.
:* They read the comics and find most of them extremely funny.
:* They come across a comic they just can't understand.
:* They stare at it for minutes, wondering why they just can't get the joke.
:* Pride already bruised, they eventually give up and turn to Google.
:* "Explain xkcd! That's exactly what I'm looking for!"
:* Click the link.
:* "Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb"
:* Gee, what a lovely welcome. Not.

: Insulting your users the first time you meet them is '''''terrible''''' practice. You're pointing at them and laughing that they didn't understand the joke. You're kicking somebody when they're already down. OK, that is exaggeration, but when you look at the line as a new user, it's not friendly and welcoming; it doesn't encourage you to return. It's just bad UX.

: Now, we could overlook the directed insult if it was indeed funny, but it really isn't. There's nothing witty about it, nothing punny about it, no double-entendres or sly references. It's just an insult.

: Legacy is no reason to keep something that doesn't work. Just because something wasn't picked up as bad practice 5 years ago doesn't mean that it isn't bad practice. Can you imagine if Microsoft kept Clippy around for "legacy reasons"?

: It would be one thing if it were kept because there were no other options, but ''so many'' fantastic alternatives have been suggested:
:* '''It's 'cause we're dumb''' -- Changes it from an insult directed at one person to a statement with an inclusive sense of community. It saying that, hey, you may not understand all the comics, but neither do we! Let's learn together!
:* '''Congratulations! You're one of today's lucky 10,000!''' -- Direct reference to comic which celebrates filling gaps in one's knowledge. Also, as a comic reference, most people won't get it the first time, so make it a link and use it to draw people further in to this wiki!
:* '''Some comics may be funnier than they appear''' -- Actually humorous, containing reference to a very common message we're all familiar with (objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear). Also alludes to the hidden depths to many of the comics, where additional levels of meaning are revealed the more about the subject one knows, which is what this wiki is trying to reveal.
:* '''Error loading tagline, click here to retry.''' -- Looks like the kind of joke you'd actually find in the comments. Clicking the tagline should then do something completely unrelated to reloading the tagline (I dunno, set off some cool JS magic).
:* '''Because it is Monday morning.''' -- Should only be shown on Mondays. Can easily be implemented with parser functions.
:* '''Because sometimes we all need a little help''' -- Gives an understanding tone that's comforting to new users.

: '''TL;DR''': The current tagline is unnecessarily confrontational and projects a bad welcome to new users, and there is nothing particularly clever/funny/important about the current tag line to recommend keeping it, especially with ''so many'' better suggestions on offer. Put it this way, if you were seeing "It's 'cause you're dumb" tag as a suggestion to add to this wiki today, would you choose it over the other options? No? Then make like an old meme and "Let It Go!" [[Special:Contributions/108.162.249.157|108.162.249.157]] 05:49, 11 February 2016 (UTC)

: I think the above comment is a perfect example of different mindsets. I discovered this wiki in exactly the way you described. But I was not offended in anyway when seeing the tagline, which I did almost immediately. Rather, it got a little chuckle out of me along with a thought along the lines of "Haha, yeah, maybe I am dumb." If you get offended by such a tagline, it suggests to me that you are not all that certain about your own intelligence in the first place. It's a static bit of text. It was not aimed at the person reading it, it was aimed at EVERYONE reading it. EDIT-I realize this post could be seen as offensive or a personal attack, which it's not, please read the "you" not as the poster of the above mentioned comment, but as a generic for any person reading the comment. [[User:Bon|Bon]] ([[User talk:Bon|talk]]) 07:11, 11 February 2016 (UTC)

: If I remember correctly I've heard it origonally was a pic of Blackhat saying it. Would it be possible to use that on this site. It seems like a decent solution? (I haven't read all of this so I don't know if this has been suggested sorry if it has). Like people have said no one gets all of xkcd, as a nonAmerican there is also a lot of references I don't get. Getting offenend over this does seems pretty pathetic to me. I also use this site for non explanation reasons, that is it often links together comics which is handy, and people often post cool links. But as others have pointed out this site isn't transcriptxkcd or linkxkcd it's explainxkcd, so that's what it should be meant for. Claiming i's offensive o the visually impaired seems pretty silly. All in all, maybe it could do with tweaking to make it more obvious but IMO it's a solid '''keep''' [[User:Halfhat|Halfhat]] ([[User talk:Halfhat|talk]]) 11:22, 11 February 2016 (UTC)

::I vote '''change''', for the reasons the Halfhat above listed. I also never thought "It's 'cause you're dumb." really fit with this wiki. --[[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.33|141.101.104.33]] 12:57, 11 February 2016 (UTC)
:::I can't believe we've become such a limp-wristed baby society that we can't even have a joke like "It's 'cause you're dumb" as the tagline. Nobody would reasonably get offended at it. '''Keep.''' [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.33|108.162.221.33]] 13:35, 11 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote '''keep'''. Blind people have to realize they're not the only ones reading this site. This site was created to explain the comic, not purely to provide a transcript of the comic - that's just icing. [[User:Jarod997|Jarod997]] ([[User talk:Jarod997|talk]]) 14:27, 11 February 2016 (UTC)

If there ever really was a single person who took the tag line seriously, then it was just telling them the truth. I vote '''keep'''. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.255.90|162.158.255.90]] 19:15, 11 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote '''Keep, or otherwise, Change'''. My opinion: It is not offensive, and I find it humourous. As I am very interested in the maths and the sciences, and I am very nerdy, I do often understand the jokes in each comic. However, sometimes I don't quite get it. This wiki is very good for that, because it collates many people's views and expertise on the comic. If the vote is overall to change, I am a fan of "Because sometimes we all need a little help." [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.29|173.245.54.29]] 21:18, 11 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote '''change''': I've always been a bit unsettled by it myself. Some deaf readers may be more insulted by it than blind ones. vote for "'''Cause you're #dumb''" (or perhaps another NOT symbol... so only people that don't understand are insulted... and the tagline can be linked to a page that explains why it isn't an insult) [[User:Edo|Edo]] ([[User talk:Edo|talk]]) 23:16, 11 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote '''KEEP'''. I actually had the feeling the fellow who complained may not understand sarcasm very well. Regardless, the tagline to me is remarkably funny and one of the things I always point out to folks when I first turn them on to XKCD. I worry they will stop following XKCD if they don't understand a post, which is why I am especially glad your site exists. There are many types of humor that will be lost on folks. Myself, for example. I was just railing to my friends about how much I did not like a recent popular vine which showed a guy, kinda probably the father, scaring a very young child strapped in a cat seat, by yelling in horror as the cats convertible roof was closed. Because I did not grow up watching laugh-tracked America's Funniest (sic) Home Video segments, I am not conditioned for casual schadenfreude-driven videos. But I know that's just me. I don't want to limit free-speech merely because it is not for me. Regardless, I really just want you to '''KEEP''' it because to me it is darn funny and just the sort of humor most of the folks who enjoy XKCD appreciate. --[[User:Hugo|Hugo]] ([[User talk:Hugo|talk]]) 23:25, 11 February 2016 (UTC)

I will also vote '''keep'''. While it ''might'' be considered offensive, it's really no more "offensive" than XKCD itself. Lest we forget the line at the bottom of every comic page:
:Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and '''advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)'''.
I don't see how "It's 'cause you're dumb." is any worse. [[User:Schiffy|Schiffy]] ([[User_talk:Schiffy|Speak to me]]|[[Special:Contributions/Schiffy|What I've done]]) 23:52, 11 February 2016 (UTC)

:: I don't think it's offensive, it's more childish, which may be off-putting for first time readers. Hence I vote for '''change'''. [[Special:Contributions/199.27.130.216|199.27.130.216]] 01:12, 14 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote '''Keep''', per the reasoning of, among other people, Zefiro. I like the tagline a lot and don't see much at all, if anything, that's wrong with it. Like Hugo, I feel like it's a bit of ''entirely'' appropriate humor. [[User:APerson|APerson]] ([[User talk:APerson|talk!]]) 00:36, 12 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote '''change'''. I know it's supposed to be a joke, but it seems out of place and not particularly funny, and it could discourage potential readers. I don't have an idea for a new tagline, but plenty of good ones have been suggested here. [[User:Cheese Lord Eggplant|Cheese Lord Eggplant]] ([[User talk:Cheese Lord Eggplant|talk]]) 03:13, 12 February 2016 (UTC)

'''Keep''' better sums up my vote, and I wish to explain why. I understand the views (as stated above) that it might discourage potential viewers, but I have seen enough well-put arguments that point out why it should not be removed for the arguments on the other side of the debate. However, I do understand that sightless users would get pretty pissed off at being told that they're dumb over and over. Is there perhaps a way to hide the text from programs designed to assisted the disabled? I have a couple of suggestions.

Perhaps it can instead simply be an image, and can even be done in a more stylized text that hints at the humour behind it (no, I have no specific suggestions). This image should not have the words it says in the meta-text within it. I just think it's not worth removing it over, it's kind of funny (or very funny, depending who you ask), replacement suggestions kinda make it bland, and this is a way to avoid having sightless people get told they're dumb over and over. The stylization is just a suggestion, because most alternative taglines I've heard don't sound up to par compared to it. Just anything to point out the sarcastic and purely humorous intentions.

I'd like to enforce my suggestion of having an image with no meta-text that can be read by bringing up that explainxkcd.com can hardly ''lose'' popularity if for the sensitive minority they don't have a tagline (especially if this tagline they are not aware of could be construed as offensive). 'Cause seriously, who's going to go tell a blind person "hey man the tagline for this site is insulting to you want to hear it?" so they'll just not learn of its existence and go on peacefully. So: Image, stylized to clearly express humour, with no program-interpretable meta-text for the blind to hear. I'd like this opinion to be closely considered, and I'd love to hear intelligent replies. ''For all intents and purposes,'' I vote '''Keep''', but to address the issue proactively and adaptively to get the best for both worlds.

I would like to point out one change I would definitely agree with, however. The commenter at 108.162.249.157 not far up suggests "It's 'cause we're dumb", and I would totally back that. That one change could make a world of difference for some people. --[[User:Znayx|Znayx]] ([[User talk:Znayx|talk]]) 09:15, 12 February 2016 (UTC)

: "It's cause we're dumb" is actually a pretty acceptable change in my opinion. I still vote keep, but wouldn't mind seeing that one. Right now the no tagline version looks lonely. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.40|108.162.221.40]] 14:56, 12 February 2016 (UTC)

::For the record, I would oppose a change of "It's cause we're dumb" because it's simply not as funny (the joke benefits from it sounding like it's a mock insult) and for the reasons in my main post right below this one that I see no reason to change the tagline which should not offend or be taken personally by someone who has enough sense of humour and intelligence to enjoy xkcd. [[User:TheHYPO|TheHYPO]] ([[User talk:TheHYPO|talk]]) 17:25, 12 February 2016 (UTC)
::This brings up the point that it is indeed a mock insult, and one that everyone gets when they visit the site, those with perfect vision are insulted just as much as the blind, or white, or black, etc... [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.34|108.162.221.34]] 00:34, 13 February 2016 (UTC) Sam

I would vote '''keep''' as it is. I am mindful of offensive content, but context is key. This is a website whose primary purpose is explaining a humour-based webcomic that touches on topics that require some intelligence to really enjoy. The tagline is obviously (I hope) tongue-in-cheek. "if you need explanation of this sometimes very technical and specialized and sometimes ambiguous webcomic, you're clearly a moron". I think that most people on this site and elsewhere would consider those who enjoy xkcd (a webcomic that often concerns itself with science, history, technology, etc.) to be relatively intelligent. Just perhaps not in every particular area (as noted right at the top of this discussion). I also think it is clear that this is a wiki an thus the tagline is directed to everyone, even the people who wrote the tagline. We're all here because we're "dumb" in the sense of occasionally needing (or at least enjoying) a deeper explanation for the comics. If someone who is blind is using the site other than for its originally intended purpose, and it helps them, that's awesome. But that doesn't mean the tagline must acknowledge all possible uses of the site. Just the thesis statement of the site, which is "this site is for explaining something you might not understand". If there are blind people who use this site just to read the comic and never to need or enjoy the explanations, then I guess they are smarter than me. I do not personally believe in changing the tagline of the entire community because it doesn't apply to one small group that is using the site for a different purpose than its intentions (again, not knocking them for using the site at all, but seriously, don't walk into McDonalds and go "''I eat here because my doctor says I need more sodium, and I actually hate the food. I'm offended by your "I'm loving it" tagline. Change it!''". Or complain about Disneyland's slogan because you suffer from depression.). I would also have expected anyone who reads xkcd often enough to bother coming to this site just to do so because of their blindness would have a sense of humour and would understand the context in which the tagline was intended, and not take it personally. [[User:TheHYPO|TheHYPO]] ([[User talk:TheHYPO|talk]]) 17:25, 12 February 2016 (UTC)
:I really agree with basically everything TheHypo writes, both here and his above comment on the reason "we're dumb" would not work at all. The idea with keeping the text but only as an image could be used, but I just do not like that we change this because someone made a ''troll complaint'' somewhere, regardless of him being blind or not; that is just one more good reason to keep it. Then again if we really wish to make it better for blind people, then by all means use an image. But keep the text in the image then! If you do enjoy xkcd then you should be able to spot the humor, and with the way Randall himself keep on mocking people on his own page, and in his comics, then why should this not fit well in with this explain page, and why should we not keep on doing what we have been doing so far? --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 22:19, 13 February 2016 (UTC)

How about '''Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're ''dumb*''.''' (''*Or don't get the joke because it is either outside your area of expertise or in a format that isn't accessible to you'') - [[Special:Contributions/141.101.70.23|141.101.70.23]] 04:48, 13 February 2016 (UTC)

'''Change'''. I've always realized it was a joke, but I think we could do a bit better. How about, "Some comics may be funnier than they appear" as suggested by 199.27.130.198? [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.42|173.245.54.42]] 19:35, 13 February 2016 (UTC)

'''Change'''. When I first started reading this wiki and noticed the tagline, I wasn't offended, and I realized it was a joke. But it also gave me an impression that this wiki is run by immature people as this is a childish insult, used as joke. Naturally, I wasn't too keen on following thissite closely and would only visit here when there's a comic that I don't understand at all. Thankfully, after reading through multiple explanations, I no longer think that the writers are immature and as I started reading other explanations, I started coming here even for the comics that I understand. My point is, it took me couple of months to warm towards explainxkcd and most people aren't that persistent/ give the chance to prove. So we are making lot of people to alienate with the site just at the tagline, even before they get to the content. I vote for '''Some comics may be funnier than they appear'''. [[Special:Contributions/199.27.130.216|199.27.130.216]] 01:07, 14 February 2016 (UTC)

'''Keep''' would be my vote. Today's society puts too much emphasis on protecting people's feelings, to the point that some people have onion-paper-thin skins, too thin to operate effectively when out in public! I feel this complaint falls under this category. Such over sensitivity shouldn't seriously be catered to. Politely listened to and considered, at most. Bending to such things just encourages people to be more sensitive.

The way I see it, you CANNOT enjoy xkcd without being smarter than average, or you'd have to turn to xkcd Explain for every single comic! It cannot be fun to require being walked through every single one. Conversely, I doubt there's very many of these smart people who are smart enough to get every joke (and every nuance) without assistance. Therefore it should be clear that is is a simple tongue-in-cheek joke, you don't really mean it seriously. It should be taken in the tone that it's meant, and it offends me when people don't.

For example, right now I'm at a bar at a Valentine's Day event. As I'm hopelessly single, this day is problematic for me, especially to be in public. I COULD ask that people refrain from love stuff, from flaunting their relationship, etc., that I'm here for other reasons. But as an intelligent adult I realize this would be unreasonable, that many people, especially most here tonight, enjoy the love stuff, enjoy Valentine's Day. It is certainly not their fault I don't, not directly, and they should not be held responsible for my discomfort.

If the final vote is for Change, I like "It's because '''we're''' dumb", or "we're all dumb", be inclusive to reduce how derogatory it sounds. Remember, while sightless people might find this site useful, the primary reason for it IS because we're dumb, i.e. we need help getting the joke. - NiceGuy1[[Special:Contributions/198.41.235.215|198.41.235.215]] 04:53, 14 February 2016 (UTC)

Wait, so they think they're smarter than me? I'm offended! ;-)
Okay so I'm not. I almost voted keep because the primary raison d'être of exkcd is not for blind people. It was created specifically for people who need help understanding some of the science, math, and arcana behind the humor.
But you know what? "It's 'cause you're dumb" is not that funny. Some of the suggestions are better. So I vote "'''CHANGE'''". [[User:Saspic45|Saspic45]] ([[User talk:Saspic45|talk]]) 07:30, 14 February 2016 (UTC)

How about "Explain xkcd: It's 'cause we're dumb."? This has more of a feeling of inclusiveness and camaraderie to me, as in we're all equals more-or-less in the face of RM's brilliance and having a good time enjoying the material together. Came up with it about a year ago, because as it is the tagline struck me as a bit harsh, and have said it that way in my mind ever since.
Edit: Ok, I see this has been suggested, so +1 for that minor change.

'''Change.''' While I didn't notice it at first, I was pretty offput when I did. As someone who has some trouble catching sarcasm all the time, I was excited when I found this site -- it helps me with not only things outside my knowledge, but also lets me check when something ''is'' being sarcastic. And when I finally noticed that tagline, even though I knew it couldn't be directed straight at me, it still sort of felt like it. I've been called dumb nearly throughout my life for not catching sarcasm which others seem to understand immediately, and it doesn't exactly feel nice (or in the spirit of XKCD!) to have that little reminder floating there. It's not even worded to be funny, either, just sorta cold. Sarcastically saying someone is dumb for not getting sarcasm... it's a vicious loop. And when there are so many other options -- many of which have fun puns or a much more friendly feel -- why are people so attached to this one? And from what it seems, a lot of people seem attached to it purely for the purpose of being stubborn against people who don't like it. Plus, why is it such an awful thing to try to make people feel more welcome? Jeez, guys. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.11|108.162.216.11]] 21:57, 14 February 2016 (UTC)

Change it please. I see it all the time, and it feels SO condescending. I often check out the site to get more information about a topic in the scope of a given strip, or to see if there's any subtext outside of the primary joke, and it ALWAYS feels like the site is insulting my ability to understand "simple humor". I understand that it's supposed to be a tongue-in-cheek joke, but I hate it. I think it should either be changed to one of the previous suggestions, or use a rotating set of taglines, or it should just be removed completely, because I utterly dislike the way it currently is. [[Special:Contributions/130.215.123.52|130.215.123.52]] 12:27, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

Definitely '''change''' - I'm surprised what it was doing there in the first place - but I do not like the "we're dumb" version either. My current favorite is "Because we all need a little help", as it is equally directed at both the non-joke-understanding audience and the screenreading audience; but I definitely like "Some comics may be funnier than they appear" and, to a lesser extent, "You're one of today's lucky 10,000" (not sure, actually, whether that one would benefit from a link to the relevant comic). Incidentally, how did the previous guy manage to post four hours in the future? Or is the AM/PM to 24h conversion broken? --[[Special:Contributions/141.101.81.88|141.101.81.88]] 08:39, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

Wow, this blew up... I never found the tagline particularly funny, but I honestly can't believe so many people appear to be offended by it. If someone is dumb enough to believe it is specifically aimed at them, not realise that it is humor, and think it is actually worth getting upset about, then the tagline is perfectly justified. Should be changed to "Please click here if you are easily offended", with a link to Disney.com, (or 4chan/b/...) --[[User:Pudder|Pudder]] ([[User talk:Pudder|talk]]) 12:09, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote '''change'''. Even smart humans need positive words. Many of the proposed alternative with only positive words suits me fine. [[User:MGitsfullofsheep|MGitsfullofsheep]] ([[User talk:MGitsfullofsheep|talk]]) 13:25, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote '''keep''', but modify the Skip to Content tags to bypass it. It's humorous, and there's no such thing as a humorous tag line that won't offend '''someone'''. Can pretty much guarantee that if it's changed to something else, some wag will start a discussion about how that new subtitle offends them... {{unsigned|Danemcg}}

If it's not too late, I vote '''keep''', I regularly view the site for detailed information about comic topics and am always amused to read the tag line. I hope the poor fellow who tallies our votes here will mind that we're likely an unrepresentative group - if you're offended, you're likely to turn out, where a contented user (nearly myself) might just pass by. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.36|108.162.216.36]] 14:34, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote '''keep'''. Anyone who's actually offended by this is way to sensitive...[[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.11|108.162.216.11]] 15:09, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

'''Change'''. Never found it funny. We can do better. [[User:Djbrasier|Djbrasier]] ([[User talk:Djbrasier|talk]]) 16:12, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

'''Change'''. It offends too many people (myself included, although more at first than now) to be kept. [[User:Z|Z]] ([[User talk:Z|talk]]) 16:57, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

I too vote '''change''' if it's not too late. Not because it's particularly offensive but more because it's not funny or xkcd-ish enough to justify any offence it may or may not cause. I prefer some of the suggestions we've had:
* Congratulations! You're one of today's lucky 10,000! (with, of course, a link to the relevant comic)
* '''Some comics may be funnier than they appear.''' This one is my favourite and I feel it captures very well my main reason for using explainxkcd
::[[Special:Contributions/141.101.106.149|141.101.106.149]] 21:12, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote '''Keep'''. If we legitimately had a large group of blind people who were offended at this tagline, I would be in support of changing it. However, the only supposedly blind person who we know of that takes offense was obviously a belligerent individual. Do we really want to take a guy who says "I've found more intelligent, compassionate, humane, wise, sympathetic, inclusive, and infinitely funnier *dingleberries* than [Randall Munroe].*Rude gesture*" seriously? do we really want some ranting asshole somewhere to dictate what our site does or does not do? seriously? [[User:VfiftyV|VfiftyV]] ([[User talk:VfiftyV|talk]]) 00:11, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

I vote '''change'''. I've always disliked the tagline, it's a bland and obvious "joke" that's at odds with the friendly, clever tone of both the comics and the rest of this site. Even if it's clear we don't mean it, calling every visitor to this site dumb, with no further context, just isn't setting a good example for the kind of *clever* sarcasm that Randall uses. We can do better. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.32|108.162.221.32]] 01:12, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

'''Keep''' because it's clearly meant as a joke. It makes no sense to change this site over one person's "offense" that the unaffiliated xkcd site isn't blind-friendly enough.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.142.217|162.158.142.217]] 02:31, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

'''Keep'''. Anyone with a sense of humor can understand that it's at least humorous. And, the primary purpose of the site ''is'' to... explain the comics, mainly to those who don't understand them. If it does get read out loud to every blind person who visits, then please, by all means, '''Change''' the layout at least to keep that from happening. But it shouldn't be removed due to half-baked complaints. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.168|108.162.245.168]] 02:57, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

I've already voted above, but I would like to call out the sightlessness issue as a red herring. One of the premises of accessible design is that all users get the same content, although perhaps in different ways, so I think we're going in the wrong direction in proposing to change or hide the text for blind users but not for everyone else. If we're to keep it, then let us keep it for all. If we're to change it, then let us change it (to the same thing) for all. If we're to remove it, then let us remove it for all. [[User:Jkshapiro|Jkshapiro]] ([[User talk:Jkshapiro|talk]]) 04:22, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

Alright, I've tallied up the votes twice and counted 36-31 the first time, and 39-32 the second time. Both times were majority keep, though there was still a strong showing for people wanting to change it. I've fixed and restored the black hat figure who was supposed to be speaking the tagline back in the old blog days, and I turned the tagline off for screen readers since the blind may only need us for the transcript, and accessibility for the blind is a big part of why we had a transcript to begin with. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 07:44, 16 February 2016 (UTC)
:I think this is a great compromise. And cool that it is Black Hat's line. I did not know this used to be the case. Is it correct that the font color has also been turned gray so it is not so prominent? --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 08:45, 16 February 2016 (UTC)
::Yeah, back when this site was a blog, [https://web.archive.org/web/20130118141641/http://www.explainxkcd.com/ the tagline was Black Hat's line.] [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=MediaWiki:Tagline&action=history looking at the edit history for the tagline], it looks like we've made some vague attempts to restore black hat's face next to the tagline before, but mediawiki doesn't process markup in that area. I did a little bit of CSS magic this time round to fix it properly this time. He's a little fuzzy though, could be better. The tagline's always been gray though. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 08:57, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

: Just before I start, since I'm an IP user and therefore hard to identify (should probably make an account one of these days, but oh well), I just want to quickly mention that I am the same person as [[Special:Contributions/108.162.249.157|108.162.249.157]] who posted on the 11 Feb.

: Now that's out of the way, I want to say that I disagree with the outcome decided for this post. While I appreciate the attempt to compromise by having it look a bit more like Black Hat is saying the line, I still think that the substance of the arguments against the current tag line are much stronger than the arguments for keeping it. The arguments for keeping it all basically boil down to "It's a joke and it's been there forever so there is no need to change and anyone who suggests otherwise should just man the f*** up." Nowhere have I seen anyone in the keep-camp argue as to why none of the alternatives are just as good or better than the current line. Pretty much, the only reason ever given to stick to the current tag line is that it's the status quo.

: On the other hand, you have many, many people pointing out that the tagline is offensive and that, even if the reader does understand it to be a joke, it's not a particularly clever one and provides a rather unwelcoming atmosphere. What many of the people in the keep-camp are ignoring is the fact that not everybody has a high level of self-confidence, and that being called dumb, even if the intention is tongue-in-cheek, just comes off as hostile and drives people away. It is also true that all tone of voice suggesting sarcasm is completely lost in text, which is why over at the [http://doctorwho.answers.wikia.com/wiki/Doctor_Who_Answers:Policies#Additional Doctor Who Answers Wiki] we specifically point this out in our policy of civility towards fellow users. This wiki is very different from that one in many ways, but I don't think it would be dumb to look at what others have noticed and learn from their mistakes, especially since that particular wording was added due to a bad misunderstanding leading from lost sarcasm. There has already been somebody here who admits they find understanding sarcasm to be difficult. Should we really be calling them dumb? Furthermore, the quote seems to directly contradict Randall's attitude towards ignorance, summed up so perfectly in [[1053: Ten Thousand]]. We should be welcoming ignorant, or "dumb", people in the hopes of enlightening them with the wisdom of the community here. Singling them out as dumb isn't going to help them.

: Finally, I fear the reason there aren't more change votes are because many of the people who were put off by the tagline simply never came back to this wiki after their first visit. I wouldn't be surprised if reader retention rates increased if you changed the tagline, and if the number of readers who convert to users also increases if the community provided a more friendly first-impression.

: Now, I know that I have raised this all before, along with many of the other people who voted for change, and it still doesn't seem to have made an impact of the people who try to insist that an insult with no wit or humour is "just a joke". I think the best way for us to prove that the tagline needs to change is to conduct a little experiment. Let's look at a list of commonly supported alternatives:

:# '''It's 'cause we're dumb'''
:# '''Congratulations! You're one of today's lucky 10,000!'''
:# '''Some comics may be funnier than they appear'''
:# '''Because sometimes we all need a little help'''

: Explanations for why these taglines are better than the current have already been provided. I challenge anyone reading this post from the keep-camp to explain why "It's 'cause you're dumb" is better than each of those taglines individually, without falling back on arguments of legacy or that the people reading the line are thin-skinned wusses. If reasonable counter-arguments can be made against each of those lines in favour of the current one, then I will back down. Until then, I cannot accept that the battle of ideas has chosen the current tagline. There are just so many better alternatives that are funnier, more in-line with the xkcd spirit, and above all, are welcoming to new readers into the community instead of turning them away the moment they reach the front door. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.250.157|108.162.250.157]] 11:28, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

:: Dude, you are not getting how voting and democracy works. The people who are proposing a change, are the equivalent of lobbyist --having lots of lobbyist does not equate to "strong support". None of these lobbyist have been able to agree on a single rewording, so they are not arguing for the same cause. On the the other hand there are thousands of of visitors (voters), of those who actually voted, voted to keep and not go with the suggestions of the lobbyists. Had there on the other-hand been a majority for change, the what would the change be? At best we would have to consolidate the suggestions (candidates), and since there is no term limit on tag-lines, the existing one should be a running candidate as well, and then make an eating contest between all the possible candidates [[Special:Contributions/162.158.255.109|162.158.255.109]] 19:50, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

OK, I'll take a stab at it. "It's 'cause you're dumb" is better than any of these because it is funnier than any of these. It's funny for the same reason that the titles of numerous books, "XXX for Dummies" are funny. In fact, if it weren't such an obvious rip-off, the tag line could be "xkcd for Dummies", which would be the same joke.

:# '''It's 'cause we're dumb''' is sort of awkward, and why would I want an explanation for something I didn't understand from a bunch of dummies, anyway? I want somebody smart to explain it to the dummy - me - who didn't get the joke.
:# '''Congratulations! You're one of today's lucky 10,000!''' is meaningless, and therefore not funny, unless you click on it and then let Randall tell you the joke behind that punch line. I do love the sentiment now that I've seen that comic, and somehow linking to that comic as an explanation of what explainxkcd.com is all about is a great idea, but as a tag line, by itself, it just isn't funny.
:# '''Some comics may be funnier than they appear''' is sort of cute, as it relates to the warning in rear-view mirrors, but it is so actually true in the case of xkcd that it loses some of its funniness by being a serious explanation of why the explainxkcd.com site is valuable.
:# '''Because sometimes we all need a little help''' - is sweet, sympathetic, and inclusive; it's just not very funny.

By contrast, "It's 'cause you're dumb" grabbed me the first time I saw it as being relevant to why explainxkcd.com is a great site, and equally importantly, it made me laugh. Maybe it is to be expected that among the viewers of a site dedicated to explaining jokes there will be a reasonable percentage that don't get this particular joke, either. Maybe the solution is a link on that line to a page that explains the "It's 'cause you're dumb" joke in the way xkcd jokes are explained: "It's funny because you are not really dumb, you just maybe didn't get some very esoteric reference, and you'll enjoy the humor of xkcd more when that reference is explained. But, when jokes need to be explained, it is common for people to feel like they must be stupid, so we make a joke about that feeling. It's not really pointed at you in particular; after all, this is a published web-site - the folks who wrote it probably don't even know you." [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.41|108.162.221.41]] 18:44, 16 February 2016‎

'''Change''', kind of. How about this: "Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're <strike>dumb</strike> of average intelligence." Maybe even include a (hidden) link to [[1386: People are Stupid]]. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.220.17|108.162.220.17]] 23:42, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

: (I landed in an edit conflict with the person above, so my comments do not take their response into account.)

: Thank you 108. You actually provided a decent rebuttal against the counterproposal, which has been lacking until this time. While I do not agree with all your points, I can actually see your point-of-view. Personally, I think that if we're going to use it as a reference to the "___ for Dummies" books, it needs to be clearer so people don't take it as an insult, but otherwise I understand your points.

: @162: As my friend, one of the greatest admins on one of the biggest non-Wikipedia wikis, says, wikis are not democracies. It is the idea with the best supporting arguments that wins, not the idea with the most votes, as many people support certain ideas for superficial reasons that are not aligned with the overall aim of improving the wiki to attract more readers/editors and improve content. Especially with such a close vote, I would put more emphasis on the quality of the arguments than the pure numbers of supports/opposes.

: Looking at the proper counter-arguments finally provided, I would shift the counter-proposal for a new tagline to tagline 3 suggested above: '''Some comics may be funnier than they appear'''. From above, I can see the argument against 1 being that people don't want help from dummies, 2 will probably be obscure for new users and may alienate them upon entry, and 4 is just too soppy. 3 however is funny, it's accessible, and it's actually funnier in my opinion because it actually ''does'' describe exactly what we do here. To the new user, it will at first just be a mildly amusing reference (still funnier than the current line in my opinion) but it will take on a new meaning and relevance as people use this wiki more, and the gradual realisation of relevance will make the tagline even more appropriate and amusing. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.250.163|108.162.250.163]] 23:59, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

I’m the lurker who suggested “Some comics are funnier than they appear.” I was bemused to see it get any traction at all, since it’s not that hysterically funny, and perhaps incomprehensible outside the US where convex car mirrors aren’t etched “Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.”

Wow, am I glad I didn’t create an account here when posting it!

I expected to see more spit-balling in kind, not an outpouring of orneriness from a majority of this obviously intelligent community who are apparently too stubborn to admit that there could possibly be anything wrong with greeting newcomers, “It’s ‘cause you’re dumb.” I took the starting point of the thread to be the obviousness that ANYTHING ELSE would be better than that.

I also expected the admin to deliberate a little harder, showing how he evaluated arguments and suggestions and tried to do the right thing, rather than just counting votes. Notwithstanding the facade of democracy in his benevolent dictatorship, he also doesn’t seem to have taken into account that the effect of NOT changing the tagline—-thus continuing to alienate a lot of users and potential contributors like me-—far, FAR outweighs any potential backlash from the old guard who are married to it. What are they going to do, rage-quit because they didn’t get their way? Because something on their favorite wiki got **gasp!** CHANGED?

Boo hoo, I didn’t get my way on a small thing which doesn’t really matter. At all. I only followed up here because I noticed the banner soliciting user input had changed. However, the ugly tone of this little tempest in a teapot has certainly convinced me that this community isn’t worth joining or contributing to. I reserve the right to continue lurking, but I’m sure as hell turning my AdBlock back on.[[Special:Contributions/199.27.130.198|199.27.130.198]] 07:10, 17 February 2016 (UTC)

Scott Adams (of Dilbert fame) said "We're all idiots 99% of the time about 99% of things. It's the 1% that makes up for all the rest." Learning begins by owning your dumb. [[User:Bob Stein - VisiBone|Bob Stein - VisiBone]] ([[User talk:Bob Stein - VisiBone|talk]]) 16:12, 17 February 2016 (UTC)

'''Keep'''. I felt offended -- but -- so what. It is true. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.91.169|141.101.91.169]] 21:20, 17 February 2016 (UTC) Martin

* '''Keep''' It is funny. People are not made of glass, not even dumb ones. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.172|108.162.245.172]] 23:15, 17 February 2016 (UTC)

: ''199 wrote:"I was bemused to see it get any traction at all, since it’s [...] perhaps incomprehensible outside the US where convex car mirrors aren’t etched “Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.”"''
: You don't need to worry about that. American culture has spread throughout the world so thoroughly that I assume most English speakers will understand it. I myself am an Aussie, who spent most of her childhood living in Europe, and I understood the reference perfectly. And while it might not be "hysterically funny", it is certainly more universally funny than the insult.

: Admins, please heed what 199 said in the rest of his/her message. You have yet another example in a long line of people being turned off from this wiki community because they don't like the attitude of this statement, nor the stubborn adherence to it despite so many people pointing out how wrong it is. You are aware that "It was just a joke" is a common defence bullies make, right? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.250.157|108.162.250.157]] 00:53, 18 February 2016 (UTC)

So, @Davidy22, can you add a "Jump to Transcript" link in the jump-to-nav div, and move the jump-to-nav div to before the tagline in the HTML? Thank you! [[User:Hat|Hat]] ([[User talk:Hat|talk]]) 08:58, 18 February 2016 (UTC)

At 12,000 words this discussion has beaten the H0/HO discussion on wikipedia... How long until we beat Star Trek Into Darkness??? --[[User:Pudder|Pudder]] ([[User talk:Pudder|talk]]) 12:10, 18 February 2016 (UTC)

'''Keep'''. I like the humour in it. 18.February 2016 12:40 (UTC) Fabian

XKCD provides transcripts about a week after a new comic comes out, so saying that blind readers require explainxkcd is a bit of an overstatement (although to be honest the official transcripts are somewhat vague). [[Special:Contributions/141.101.70.217|141.101.70.217]] 19:45, 18 February 2016 (UTC)

: Generally most transcripts gets completed within hours of the comics being posted. More complex ones can take longer, and there is sometimes a bit of back and forth as far as layout is concerned, but the content tends to be there pretty quickly. --[[User:Pudder|Pudder]] ([[User talk:Pudder|talk]]) 09:35, 19 February 2016 (UTC)

"Explain xkcd: extra knowledge, see discussions." I wish I'd thought of that one a week ago. And Randall says it's not an acronym, eh? [[Special:Contributions/199.27.130.198|199.27.130.198]] 09:21, 19 February 2016 (UTC)

:Ah crap... that's actually really good. I'd have supported this had it been mentioned earlier, even though I voted to keep the current. [[User:Schiffy|Schiffy]] ([[User_talk:Schiffy|Speak to me]]|[[Special:Contributions/Schiffy|What I've done]]) 02:39, 20 February 2016 (UTC)

== Concerning recent spam ==

In light of the recent and large amount of spam that we've been seeing, I've revoked new users of the right to create and move pages, as well as access to the write api. If your account is three days old and has 10 or more edits under it, you will still be allowed to create and move pages. This will end when the spambots decide to leave. To the person who's doing this, don't ruin this for the other people who use this site. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 19:36, 11 February 2016 (UTC)
:In light of the recent burst of spam, creation of talk pages will also be shut off for new users. We will create an empty talk page for new comics in place of this feature. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 06:47, 16 February 2016 (UTC)
: So what will you do in three days when the spambot can create new pages again? [[User:Mikemk|Mikemk]] ([[User talk:Mikemk|talk]]) 07:58, 16 February 2016 (UTC)
::They have to hit both criteria. The flaw there is that spambots have also demonstrated themselves to be capable of editing pages, but I'm not sure what to do for that aside from look for a better captcha. If it comes to it, I'll write my own. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 08:05, 16 February 2016 (UTC)
aw man. tfw another troll already beat me to the punch {{unsigned ip|108.162.216.62}}

@Davidy22: Maybe we should use something like [[MW:Extension:TitleBlacklist]] or [[MW:Manual:Combating spam#.24wgSpamRegex]]. --[[User:SlashMe|SlashMe]] ([[User talk:SlashMe|talk]]) 14:25, 16 February 2016 (UTC)
:Hum. I'll take a look when I get home. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 05:02, 17 February 2016 (UTC)
:: Sigh, it's getting out of hand again... --[[User:SlashMe|SlashMe]] ([[User talk:SlashMe|talk]]) 15:19, 18 February 2016 (UTC)
:::Alright, I'm not sure what's happening here. This is what's in the localsettings file:

$wgGroupPermissions['user']['createtalk'] = false;
$wgGroupPermissions['autoconfirmed']['createtalk'] = false;

:::I don't know why this doesn't work. Probably well overdue for a mediawiki upgrade, but I have midterms and papers coming up. This timing is inconvenient. The title blacklist is for a newer mediawiki version, I'll lock and upgrade this weekend. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 16:07, 18 February 2016 (UTC)
:::For now, I'll try removing talk page creation rights from all non-admin users. I'll make the talk pages for new explanations. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 16:09, 18 February 2016 (UTC)
:::Alright, I made a test account and I realised I'm very dumb. I forgot to turn off createtalk for all, so people could still make talk pages. I've also added mandatory email verification. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 23:34, 18 February 2016 (UTC)
::::See tagline ;-) --[[User:SlashMe|SlashMe]] ([[User talk:SlashMe|talk]]) 01:51, 19 February 2016 (UTC)
:::::I do want to find/write a better CAPTCHA though, none of these measures I've taken stop account creation, so the spammers might try just shoving a million accounts at us. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 03:03, 19 February 2016 (UTC)
:::Oooh nevermind forcing email verification turns off anonymous editing. Don't want to go that far, and it didn't stop that one spammer anyways. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 00:17, 19 February 2016 (UTC)

== Will verifying my email turn off the CAPTCHA ==

Pretty much what the section title says. I find the way the captcha works here kinda annoying, since I submit and then get the CAPTCHA. I'd be willing to put in my email address if it would stop the CAPTCHA, but, otherwise, I don't see any point in doing so.

If it does stop the CAPTCHA, I would suggest mentioning this in the preferences as one of the benefits of adding an email, and perhaps point it out on the page when the CAPTCHA appears.

IF not, then will I just have the CAPTCHA forever? Or will it go away once I put in enough edits? Or do I need to do something else?

[[User:Trlkly|Trlkly]] ([[User talk:Trlkly|talk]]) 00:10, 1 March 2016 (UTC)

:The email address is optional, we have it set up so that users less than 3 days old with less than 10 edits will have to fill in a CAPTCHA when they edit. It's set up that way to limit and make the damage that spambots can inflict much easier to fix. You appear to have cleared the 10 edit boundery today, so you should be able to start editing CAPTCHA free now. Giving people a way to bypass the anti spam window by providing an email address is an idea though, I'll see if I can't write a plugin for that after I'm done with finals. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 01:24, 1 March 2016 (UTC)

== Why does Mediawiki look so "old" all of a sudden? ==

Screendhots: [http://i.imgur.com/smN1a45.png][http://i.imgur.com/qdpxhdY.png]

I've tried this in three browsers, and they all look the same. [[User:KangaroOS|Kangaro]][[User talk:KangaroOS|OS]] 12:56, 4 April 2016 (UTC)
:High traffic, high load, everything is on fire. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 16:28, 4 April 2016 (UTC)
:: Man ! The fire started by Randall is out of control.. It has been so long, and this is looking very ugly. Did wiki go in "printer-friendly version only" mode ? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.255.56|162.158.255.56]] 04:10, 5 April 2016 (UTC)

(H'rm - realized I posted this in the wrong place - further discussion should go [[explain xkcd:Community portal/Technical#Stylesheets not working?|here]].) [[User:KangaroOS|Kangaro]][[User talk:KangaroOS|OS]] 15:20, 5 April 2016 (UTC)

== Annoying ad ==

From the anti-noscript text shown when an ad is blocked by noscript: "our ads are restricted to unobtrusive images and slow animated GIFs."

Yet the ad blocked features a drawing of a woman in her underwear. I find this very obtrusive.

Also, can you get rid of the captcha needed to even view content on this site using Tor? https://support.cloudflare.com/hc/en-us/articles/203306930-Does-CloudFlare-block-Tor- {{unsigned ip|162.158.17.66}}
:Looked through our bids, a guy who was auto approved used the privelidge to put that ad up. I cancelled the ad, if he puts it up again he's getting banned. I'll get on the tor options in cloudflare. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 02:41, 10 August 2016 (UTC)

== Random Question ==
Since this is the miscellaneous section, I assume I can ask a question based on anything, even if it's not XKCD or wiki-related. Am I correct? Or is there another place to do that? --[[User:JayRulesXKCD|JayRulesXKCD]] ([[User talk:JayRulesXKCD|talk]]) 16:21, 9 November 2016 (UTC)
:Nothing expressly forbids it, but do remember the purpose of the site. If you want to ask a question not related to xkcd or the site, there is likely another, better outlet for your question on the internet. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 17:14, 9 November 2016 (UTC)
:Ah. Okay. Just making sure. --[[User:JayRulesXKCD|JayRulesXKCD]] ([[User talk:JayRulesXKCD|talk]]) 17:47, 9 November 2016 (UTC)

== "What if: Hide the Atmosphere" question ==

At the end, Randall notes one "may not want to" dig out Texas, and the guy in the illustration mentions "specifically requesting" something. As someone not from the USA, I don't know what he's referring to. Could someone please explain it? {{unsigned ip|172.68.51.28}}
:It's a reference to {{w|Don't Mess with Texas}}. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 20:52, 9 February 2017 (UTC)

== Blinking advert ==

There's an ad for something called Goliath Fallen that blinks occasionally. A static picture would be fine but the blinking is distracting --[[User:Figvh|Figvh]] ([[User talk:Figvh|talk]]) 04:22, 27 September 2017 (UTC)

1799: Bad Map Projection: Time Zones

2017-02-15T10:36:41Z

Figvh: /* Transcript */ if there's one country I can be certain of the spelling it's this one ;)

{{comic
| number = 1799
| date = February 15, 2017
| title = Bad Map Projection: Time Zones
| image = bad_map_projection_time_zones.png
| titletext = This is probably the first projection in cartographic history that can be criticized for its disproportionate focus on Finland, Mongolia, and the Democratic Republic of the Congo.
}}
*A [http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/bad_map_projection_time_zones_2x.png double sized version] of this image can be found by clicking the image at xkcd.com - the comic's page can also be accessed by clicking on the comic number above.

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|First draft}}
This is the second comic in the series of [[:Category:Bad Map Projections|Bad Map Projections]]. The first was released just over a month before this one and was called [[1784: Bad Map Projection: Liquid Resize]].

Notably, "Liquid Resize" was #107, while this comic features #79, so either Randall has put them in a new arbitrary order or he is counting down from least to most terrible.

Conceptually, the series is a comment no the fact that there is no perfect way to draw a map of the world on a flat piece of paper. Each one will introduce a different type of distortion, and the best projection for a given situation is sometimes very disputed. [[Randall]] previously explored 12 different projections in [[977: Map Projections]], and expressed his disdain for some types he sees as less efficient but whose users feel superior. None of them are really good as any 2D map projection will always distort in a way the spherical reality, and a map projection that is useful for one aspect (like navigation, geographical shapes and masses visualization, etc.) will not be so for all the others. Local maps of smaller areas can be quite accurate, but the idea of both these map projection comics is to map the entire globe on a flat surface.

Randall, being Randall, runs with the idea. Has made another map projection that is not only inaccurate, but utterly unusable.

This comic shows a {{w|Map projection|map projection}} in which countries are placed according to the {{w|Time zone|time zones}} that they fall under. Based on the way the Sun shines on the Earth, these time zones, which are based on the sun's position in the sky, would best be divided by roughly longitudinal (North-to-South Pole) lines.

However, this is not the case in practice, as the defined time zones tend to have very jagged boundaries. Since [[Randall]] knows he cannot fix the boundaries of the time zones, he instead "fixes" the world by making a map appear to match up with the time zone system. This results in bizarre distortions such as the large, gum-like strands of Greenland and enormous gulfs in parts of northern Russia.

The effect of this map is "punish" large countries with a single time zone - for instance, China, which uses UTC+8 across the whole country - and countries that share large time zones - for instance, almost all of Europe is packed into the Central European UTC+1 zone - by shrinking these down. Conversely, countries that span multiple time zones are stretched out - for example, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, as pointed out in the alt-text - as are those that belong to very small time zones - Finland and the Baltic states look huge because they are the only countries using the UTC+2 Eastern Europe time.

Other map projections distort countries this way as well, but based on their actual physical location as opposed to their position on imaginary time zones. The [[wikipedia:Mercator projection|Mercator projection]] is infamous for distorting Greenland in this way, to the point that it appears to be larger than Africa despite being nowhere near the same size. The title text lampoons the fact that the same phenomenon occurs on Randall's bad map projection, but for countries that do not tend to experience this on typical projections. Several smaller countries such as Finland, Mongolia, and the DRC, appear much larger than their actual size due to being stretched across time zone boundaries.

Some countries look especially odd. Greenland gets some jutting out points - these are the towns of Danmarkshavn (UTC) and Ittoqqortoormiit (UTC-1), which use different time zones to the rest of the country - while Russia gets big holes in it in places where there is a 2 hour time zone difference between states. For instance, in reality {{w|Komi}} and {{w|Khanty-Mansi}} touch each other. However, Komi uses Moscow time (UTC+3) and Khanty-Mansi uses Yekaterinburg Time (UTC+5). There is no state between them using UTC+4, so Randall draws a big gap in northern Russia here.

The map is imperfect since it doesn't allow for half-hour time zones (India, for instance, is on UTC+5.5). Instead, countries that span time zones are shifted so they straddle the two time zones, and are then marked with an asterisk.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|All the names on the countries}}
:[This transcript will note everything readable from the 2x zoom version found by clicking the comic on xkcd.]

:[Caption at the top of the panel:]
:Bad map projection #79:
:<big>Time Zones</big>
:Where each country '''''should''''' be, based on its time zone(s)

:[Below the caption there is a map of the world divided and colored by political boundaries, with outlines around each continent in black and around each country in dark gray. Antarctica is not included. Bodies of water are white, and countries in pale shades of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple. The map is clearly distorted, with Europa and Africa in the center, but not all continents or countries looks wrong. Africa, Australia and North America seems least distorted. But the bottom part of of South America is very slim, Greenland has two chewing gum like blobs stretched away from it to the right, Iceland is over the UK, and most of Europe has been compressed. Finland though is too large. In Africa especially Dem. Rep. the Congo has been enlarged. The worst distortion is in Asia, where especially Russia looks weird with three deep troughs down the length of the country and the end to the right seems to be much longer than usually. But also China is completely wrong as it has been compressed, Mongolia taking up most of its usual position.]

:[Most countries over a certain size have their name listed in a gray font. Small countries like Ireland and Haiti has their name listed because it can be noted in the oceans around them. Most other countries have the name inside the country, but if there is not enough room abbreviation are used like Germany which has Ger. noted. There are though several small countries in the middle of Europa which has no name, as there are simply not enough space for even an abbreviation. This is countries like Belgium, The Netherlands and Denmark a long the coast towards England (with not enough Ocean space either for the name) and the small central countries like Austria, Switzerland and Luxembourg. There are also a few specialties mentioned when time zones are not divided in full hours, for instance a foot note regarding half hour time zones. Below all the mentioned countries will be listed starting from the left, going through each (political) continent from top left and down, and the same for each country in the continent:]

:[North America:]
:Canada
:United States
:Mexico
:Cuba
:Haiti
:Jam.
:D.R

:[Central America:]
:Gua.
:Hon.
:Nic.
:CR.
:Pan.

:[South America:]
:Columbia
:...
:
:Argentina

:[Europa:]
:Greenland
:Iceland
:Ireland
:UK
:Norway
:...
:
:
:Bulgaria

:[Africa:]
:W.S.
:Algeria
:Tunis
:...
:
:
:
:South Africa
:Madagascar

:[Asia:]
:Russia
:
:
:...
:Iran*
:Afghanistan*
:...
:
:...
:Russia
:...
:
:...
:India*
:Nepal*
:...
:Bur*
:...
:
:
:...
:China
:N.K*
:S.K.
:Japan

:[Oceania:]
:Malaysia
:Indonesia
:Philippines
:Papua New Guinea

:[Australia. In the country there is a star * in the middle of it above the name:]
:<nowiki>*</nowiki>
:Australia
:New Zealand

:[Below Australia there is an arrow pointing to a pointing the south cost and below that a foot note for the stars * used above:]
:UTC +8:45
:(One small area)
:<nowiki>*</nowiki>=Half-hour offset

==Trivia==
*It is the first time a [[:Category:Large drawings|large comic's]] large version is called ''2x'' rather than for instance ''large''
*The [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UTC%2B08:45 UTC+8:45] time zone listed is used by 5 roadhouses in South Australia and Western Australia covering a population of only a few hundred people.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Bad Map Projections]]

1704: Gnome Ann

2016-07-11T01:28:17Z

Figvh: This is just a reference to the passage in Luke, the referenced Joseph Smith quote doesn't even appear in the comic

{{comic
| number = 1704
| date = July 8, 2016
| title = Gnome Ann
| image = gnome_ann.png
| titletext = In the words of Andrew Johnson, if I am to be shot at, I want Gnome Ann to be in the way of the bullet.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic presents a series of images depicting a female {{w|gnome}} who is known as "Gnome Ann". The humor derives from the fact that the name "Gnome Ann" and the compound noun "no man" are {{w|homophone}}s, meaning they sound alike but have different meanings and spellings.
(Users of the {{w|GNOME|Gnome desktop system}} may have difficulties understanding this since they pronounce Gnome with a hard "g", reflecting its {{w|GNU}} ties.)

[[Randall]] presents the reader with six images (and a title text) captioned with quotations from a wide range of sources, each featuring an instance of the compound noun "no man" being replaced by "Gnome Ann" (and featuring a drawing that reflects this change). There is one proverb, two Biblical quotations, two literary quotations (the {{w|Miguel de Cervantes|Cervantes}} quote is from ''{{w|Don Quixote}}'', the other one is from {{w|Lord of the Rings}}, the line {{w|Éowyn}} said to the {{w|Witch-king_of_Angmar|Witch-king of Angmar}} before killing him), one quotation from the opening of a television show (''{{w|Star Trek: The Original Series}}''), and a quotation from a piece of historical rhetoric in the title text.

===Table of quotes===
{| class="wikitable"
| '''Modified quote'''
| '''Original quote'''
| '''Origin'''
| '''Explanation'''
|-
| "Time and tide wait for Gnome Ann."
| "Time and tide wait for no man."
| Proverb
| [[89: Gravitational Mass|Normally]] it is not possible for anyone to influence time or tides. However in this case it would appear that Gnome Ann is able to stop time, and tides.
|-
| "The wicked flee when Gnome Ann pursueth."
| "The wicked flee when no man pursueth."
| Bible: [http://biblehub.com/proverbs/28-1.htm Proverbs 28:1]
| This (out of context) biblical reference normally implies the wicked are a cowardly and/or paranoid lot, jumping at shadows and eager to flee at simply the pretense of danger or pursuit. However in this case it would imply that wicked people run away from Gnome Ann specifically.
|-
| "What therefore God hath joined together, let Gnome Ann put asunder."
| "What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder."
| Bible: [http://biblehub.com/mark/10-9.htm Mark 10:9]
| In the Bible, Jesus is asked about whether people should be allowed to divorce, and Jesus responds with this quote. It is known to appear in wedding vows, hence the fact that the man and woman in the panel are dressed for a wedding. However, in the comic, the quote becomes a command to Gnome Ann to break apart what God has joined.
|-
| "Time ripens all things; Gnome Ann is born wise
| "Time ripens all things; no man is born wise."
| The novel {{w|Don Quixote}} by {{w|Miguel De Cervantes}}
| This states that nobody is wise to begin with, and it takes time to become wise. However it now states that Gnome Ann is wise to begin with, suggesting she is not part of the order of things within time.
|-
| "Our Mission: To boldly go where Gnome Ann has gone before."
| "Our Mission: To boldly go where no man has gone before."
| Intro at {{w|Star Trek: The Original Series}}
| Originally this was meant to emphasize that they would be going to completely unexplored territory, which would be a potentially risky venture. However in this case , it means that they will be following Gnome Ann, which is not exploration. Though depending on where Gnome Ann has gone, these may still be risky ventures: "(Gnome Ann) goes to battle to be killed." [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caesar_and_Cleopatra_%28play%29]
|-
| Witch-king of Angmar: "Fool! No man can kill me." Gnome Ann: "I Am Gnome Ann!"
| Witch-king of Angmar: "Fool! No man can kill me." Éowyn: "I Am no man!"
| {{w|The Lord of the Rings}}
| The Witch-king of Angmar was given a prophecy that he would never be bested in combat by the hand of man, and he boasted "no man" could kill him. Both in ''Lord of the Rings'' and this comic, he is defeated by a woman. Gnome Ann is simply that good. Note that in the Tolkien legendarium, a "Gnome" is an archaic name for the Noldor tribe of elves (e.g. Galadriel).
|-
| "In the words of Andrew Johnson, if I am to be shot at, I want Gnome Ann to be in the way of the bullet."
| "In the words of Andrew Johnson, if I am to be shot at, I want no man to be in the way of the bullet."
| {{w|Andrew Johnson}}, 17th President of the United States
| '''Title text''': The intent of this statement originally was that Andrew Johnson would rather be killed, than have somebody else be killed trying to save his life. However in this case it would appear that Andrew Johnson would really prefer Gnome Ann to be shot instead of himself, perhaps because he knows that "(Gnome Ann) lives forever." [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Algernon_Charles_Swinburne]
|}

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the panels.]
:The <big>Legend</big> of <big>Gnome Ann</big>

:[At the beach, between a clock hanging in the air, showing 10 past 10 and the shoreline, Gnome Ann, a woman with curly hair and a black triangular hat, stands with her arms outstretched towards the clock and the sea. For each of the first five panels a text is written within a frame above the drawings.]
:Time and tide wait for Gnome Ann.

:[Gnome Ann running in from the left frame with her arms out chases three Cueball like men running from her towards right. The one closest to her looks over his shoulder at her, the next runs forward "normally" and the last in front throws up his arms in the air.]
:The wicked flee when Gnome Ann pursueth.
:-Proverbs 28:1

:[Gnome Ann takes the groom's place in a wedding, shoving him to the side. The groom, Hairy with a bow tie, falls while throwing his arms out. The bride stands to the left, in full wedding dress, showing no reaction.]
:What therefore God hath joined together, let Gnome Ann put asunder.
:-Mark 10:9

:[Gnome Ann sits in a yoga position meditating on a big rock in a desolate area with small rocks on the ground around the big rock.]
:Time ripens all things; Gnome Ann is born wise.
:-Miguel De Cervantes

:[The starship Enterprise from Star Trek is seen from behind as it flies to the right, chasing a smaller craft. In this panel the frame with text is shown to emanate from Enterprise with a zig zag arrow pointing to the starship.]
:Enterprise: Our Mission: To boldly go where Gnome Ann has gone before.

:[The Witch-king of Angmar, Lord of the Nazgûl, from the Lord of the Rings sits on his knees (below the frame) to the left of Gnome Ann, who is preparing to stab him with a sword pointing at his head. She is also holding her other arm out towards him. The Witch-king has a black cloak covering his head and body with a kind of crown with six small spikes shown around his head and one large spike in front. It also goes down on each side of his head showing a gaping hole instead of a face. In this panel the text is spoken by the two characters.]
:Witch-king: Fool! No man can kill me.
:Gnome Ann: '''''I Am Gnome Ann!'''''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Time]]
[[Category:Religion]]
[[Category:Fiction]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring politicians]]

1693: Oxidation

2016-07-06T10:39:31Z

Figvh: spelling

{{comic
| number = 1693
| date = June 13, 2016
| title = Oxidation
| image = oxidation.png
| titletext = Calm down--there were lots of arthropods living on your skin already. These ones are just bigger.
}}

==Explanation==
In this comic [[Ponytail]] has set [[Megan]]'s car on fire, possibly by crashing it.

{{w|Oxidation}} refers to a whole class of chemical reactions. Any chemical reaction that involves the loss of electrons is called "oxidation" (since a lot of these involve oxygen). One oxidation reaction is {{w|rusting}}, the reaction of iron atoms in the steel of the car with oxygen and moisture to produce iron oxide hydrate. Rusting is extremely difficult to prevent, and all cars are rusting slowly. {{w|Oxidation}} was also mentioned in the title text of [[1426: Reduce Your Payments]], where the main joke was about the opposite reaction i.e. reduction.

Another oxidation reaction is {{w|combustion}}, an exothermic reaction, such as the violently rapid reaction of flammable parts of the car with oxygen to produce a whole load of nasty gases and particulates, as well as a lot of heat. {{w|Vehicle fire|Vehicle fires}} can burn very quickly and destroy a vehicle within minutes.

From the most detached viewpoint, these are both oxidation reactions (although they occur in different places: rusting normally happens to the car chassis while fires are usually isolated to the engine) and Ponytail argues that as all cars oxidize, the fire that she has caused has only accelerated the inevitable destruction of the vehicle.

This idea was already explored in the [[what if?]] ''{{what if|97|Burning Pollen}}'', where the second image shows a burning car and the text above mentions the difference between rusting and burning cars: ''Lots of materials oxidize when exposed to air. Bananas go bad, copper turns green, iron rusts. Fire is another kind of oxidation reaction. (In other words, our cars are always oxidizing; we just try to keep it from happening suddenly.)'' The title text of the image even mentions the fact that it is different parts that burns than those that rust: ''Although the parts that oxidize during a car fire and the parts that rust aren’t usually the same.''

The comic by extension mocks arguments that ignore or trivialize quantitative differences. Such arguments are commonly employed to attack climate change: the Earth has been warming since the glacial period ten thousand years ago, it's just happening faster since the introduction of large quantities of greenhouse gases.

In the title text the small {{w|arthropods}} (invertebrates that have jointed bodies and exoskeletons) are referencing microscopic {{w|mites}} – tiny creatures that can live on the human body without normally causing any harm (you probably have {{w|eyelash mite}}s, for instance).

Presumably as a form of revenge, Megan has caused Ponytail to become covered in much larger arthropods - most probably {{w|spiders}}, judging by [[Randall|Randall's]] [[:Category:Spiders|fixation with them]], but it could be any combination of these often feared animal: spiders, {{w|scorpions}}, {{w|insects}}, {{w|crabs}}, {{w|centipedes}}, {{w|millipedes}} etc.
As contrasted with the harmless mites mentioned above, other parasitic arthropods (such as the {{w|Crab louse}}, an insect known in slang as "crabs") are notorious as a {{w|sexually transmitted infection}}, and Megan could have been referring to these as those Ponytail already had as a further means of degrading her after the car fire incidence..

Megan's car also caught fire in [[1014: Car Problems]], but there she did not at first know for sure who did it. Not a direct relation, but Megan seems to be unlucky with her cars.

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail is holding a finger up in front of Megan while gray smoke and heat waves pours in to the frame from off-panel left.]
:Ponytail: In my defense, your car has been oxidizing since you got it.
:Ponytail: It's just happening a lot faster now.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Animals]] 
[[Category:Chemistry]]

1644: Stargazing

2016-06-22T10:28:22Z

Figvh: broken subheading

{{comic
| number = 1644
| date = February 17, 2016
| title = Stargazing
| image = stargazing.png
| titletext = Some of you may be thinking, 'But wait, isn't the brightest star in our sky the Sun?' I think that's a great question and you should totally ask it. On the infinite tree of possible conversations spread out before us, I think that's definitely the most promising branch.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic opens on a male host for a '''{{w|stargazing}}''' [[#Relevant TV-shows|TV show]]. He claims to be a doctor in {{w|astronomy}} though his remarks, however enthusiastic, may call this into question. (Although he is drawn like [[Megan]] it is a male television host according to the official transcript on xkcd – see the [[#Trivia|trivia section]]).

Throughout the comic the hosts tone and choice of words becomes increasingly unprofessional, referring to most of the stars as "shitty," personifying them based on different astronomical observations, and providing little useful information on the study of stars or how they work.

It seems that this is not an isolated issue as the television host mentions that people keep asking him whether or not he is a real astronomer.

Throughout the comic the television host continuously glosses over the arguably less exciting portions of a typical presentation on astronomy sharing only what he sees as "the good stuff." This penchant for only caring about something if it is interesting extends past astronomy as well as the host is too bored when reading the dictionary to look up the meaning of astronomer.

The comic derives much of its humor from the absurdity of the host's comments on various astronomical bodies. Although not technically incorrect, the way he presents the information is far from informative. (See details below on [[#The host's observations|the host's observations]]).

One of his observations regards the fact that {{w|Sirius}} is a {{w|binary star}}, a system where two stars orbit each other. So even though it is the brightest star as seen from Earth we only really see one of them, as the other is, to quote the host, "not even trying". Sirius A is "large" and "bright" {{w|main sequence}} white star, while Sirius B is a {{w|white dwarf}} with a little under half the mass, 0.49% the radius and only 0.22% the luminosity of Sirius A.

The {{w|Andromeda Galaxy|Andromeda}} is the largest galaxy in our {{w|Local Group}} it is 220,000 light years across and consists of a trillion stars. Humans have difficulty conceptualizing distances of this scale. Suffice to say that it is very large.

{{w|Betelgeuse}} is the 9th brightest star visible from earth. One of its prominent features is its visible redness and its size. Within the next million years it is expected to explode as a {{w|Supernova}}, which will certainly be a spectacular sight.

In the title text it is mentioned that the {{w|Sun}} is also a star and of course is much brighter than Sirius seen from Earth, and thus Sirius is technically not the brightest star in our sky (although it is in the night sky). The title text sarcastically encourages the audience to raise that obvious but irrelevant point (a standard joke when people mentions bright stars) instead of asking a more interesting, informative, or fruitful question, when there are so many to ask regarding astronomy.

The infinite tree and branches mentioned in the title text could be a reference to the {{w|Tree (set theory)|tree}} in {{w|set theory}}. Infinite tree theory and an infinite branch is mentioned on {{w|Tree_(set_theory)#Properties|the wiki page}}. Another reference may be to the {{w|many-worlds interpretation}} (one of many {{w|multiverse}} hypotheses). In lay terms, the hypothesis states there is a very large — perhaps infinite — number of universes, and everything that could possibly happen, but did not, happens in some other universe or universes. And of all the possible conversation topics regarding this awesome universe, the speaker chooses the discussion branch (in this universe) to be the one with a lame joke about the Sun being brighter than Sirius.

See also [[1371: Brightness]] and [[1342: Ancient Stars]].

===The host's observations===
Here is a list of the host's observations:
*Most {{w|Bright Star Catalogue|visible stars}} are still very faint, and just becomes background to the bright {{w|stars}} that form the named {{w|constellations}}.
**The host correctly states that they are just dots. (This is also true for the bright stars, but at least they are clearly distinguishable).
*{{w|Sirius}} is the {{w|Apparent magnitude|brightest}} star in our {{w|List of brightest stars|night sky}}. But it is not the brightest object in the night sky, as several of the planets, especially {{w|Venus}} and {{w|Jupiter}}, and of course the {{w|Moon}} are much brighter. It is also far from being one of the most {{w|Absolute magnitude|luminous star}} in the {{w|Milky Way}}, but its proximity to Earth makes it the brightest in the night sky. There are {{w|List_of_most_luminous_stars#Data|twenty visible stars}} that are more luminous than Sirius, {{w|List of most luminous stars|none of which}} come even close to being in the top 100 of the most luminous stars observed today.
**The host thus names Sirius as the star in charge since it outshines all the others as seen from the {{w|Earth}}.
*Sirius is actually a star system consisting of two stars as it is a {{w|binary star}} system. But where Sirius A is twice the size of the {{w|Sun}} and much brighter, then Sirius B is now just a dim {{w|white dwarf}}, the remains from a much larger star that became a {{w|red giant}} before shedding its outer layers and collapsing into its current state around 120 million years ago. So now Sirius A completely outshines Sirius B, which actually is now a dead star with no further fusion going on inside its core.
**This is construed by the host as it is barely even trying, as it is now only radiating away the rest of the heat from the now exposed core.
*{{w|Andromeda Galaxy|Andromeda}} is a {{w|spiral galaxy}}, like the Milky Way, and it is the largest galaxy in the {{w|Local Group}} where our own galaxy the Milky Way is the second largest. It is one of a few visible objects that are located outside the Milky Way. It is "only" 2.5 million light-years from the Sun and it is heading our way (or vice versa), and will {{w|Andromeda–Milky Way collision|collide with the Milky way}} in about 4 billion years (before the Sun goes into {{w|Sun#After_core_hydrogen_exhaustion|its red giant phase}}). Being 220,000 light years across and consisting of a trillion stars, it is somewhere between 1.2-2.2 times wider than the Milky Way and has 2.5-10 times as many stars. (The local group was also mentioned two comics ago, in [[1642: Gravitational Waves]], together with the much less well known third largest galaxy in the group the {{w|Triangulum Galaxy}}).
**It is therefore true when the host says that it is too big to try to understand, and thinking about it will make your head spin, so he suggests we do not think about it.
*{{w|Betelgeuse}} is a clearly visible (9th brightest) {{w|Red_supergiant|red supergiant}} {{w|Semiregular_variable_star|variable star}} located in the {{w|Orion (constellation)|constellation of Orion}}. It is one of the largest and most luminous observable stars (12th) and one of the few where it is clear that the light is not white. Most people can see that it is slightly red, whereas most other stars are so faint that they look white despite having different colors (when seeing Orion's two brightest stars, to remember which is which between Rigel and Betelgeuse, its diagonal opposite, just remember: Rigel is "R" like blue, and Betelgeuse is "B" like red). It is expected that Betelgeuse, being at a late stage of its {{w|Stellar_evolution|evolution}}, {{w|Betelgeuse#Approaching_supernova|will go supernova}} within the next million years as a {{w|type II supernova}}. The exact time when it will become a {{w|Supernova}} is so uncertain that it could [http://earthsky.org/brightest-stars/betelgeuse-will-explode-someday#explode just as likely happen tomorrow] as in a million years. When it happens it will not be dangerous to anyone on Earth, but it will likely be visible even during the day, as it may even become as bright as the full Moon.
**When it does go nova, it will be a fantastic spectacle for everyone, but especially for anyone who likes the ''good stuff'' in space like the host, who cannot wait for the star to explode. Clearly he hopes it will be in his lifetime, and, although this is unlikely, there is a small chance that it might just happen.
*A {{w|meteor}} (also known as {{w|shooting star}}), is debris from space that rains down on Earth, and burns up in the atmosphere. This happens all the time, but you need to be either lucky, patient, or know the right time for one of the {{w|meteor showers}} to see one. Often they are visible for so short a time period, that it is difficult to share the experience with anyone, as it will be gone by the time they turn their head to look where you are pointing.
**The host becomes very excited when he spots such a meteor, especially because it is likely that his audience got to share the experience with him, as they were already looking in the same direction as he. But still he asks if they saw it, because it is so short lived.
*{{w|Outer space}} is the void that exists between {{w|Astronomical object|celestial bodies}}, including the Earth. There is by definition nothing there but {{w|vacuum}}, and the interesting part of space is thus not the space but the astronomical objects found out there.
**The host says that ''space is cool'', which is a very un-astronomical comment, as explained above. Also his excitement for a simple shooting star is cause for the suspicion that is raised after his space comment.

===Relevant TV-shows===
The comic could be a reference to BBC's ''{{w|Stargazing Live}}'', which {{w|Brian Cox (physicist)|Brian Cox}} has appeared in since 2011. If drawn in xkcd style he would likely look like Megan. He has a PhD in high-energy {{w|particle physics}}, but not astronomy. The newest season of the show aired during January 2016 just a month before this comic's release. Brian Cox has also been the presenter of several other science programs, especially such as the ''{{w|Wonders of the Solar System}}'', ''{{w|Wonders of the Universe}}'' and ''{{w|Wonders of Life (TV series)|Wonders of Life}}''.

It could also be a reference to {{w|Jack Horkheimer}}'s PBS shows ''Star Hustler'' and ''{{w|Star Gazers}}''. Horkheimer, however, does not at all look like Megan, and he died 6 years ago. But he was not a doctor in astronomy, only getting into it when he started volunteering at the Miami Museum of Science's planetarium. He ended up writing shows for the planetarium and the PBS series developed from there. He rarely covered facts about the night sky that couldn't be found in any basic reference (possibly because the show was aimed at children and non-astronomy buffs), although he did get more in-depth about current astronomical events such as {{W|Comet Hale–Bopp}}.

==Transcript==
:[A thin panel where a male TV-host (with hair like Megan, but male according to official transcript), holding his hands up, is drawn in white on a black background. Behind him is an audience drawn in faint gray lines consisting of Hairy (to the left) and two Cueball-like guys and Ponytail (seen in a rare full face position) to the right of the host. One of the Cueball-like guys is partly hidden behind the host.]
:Host: Welcome to stargazing, with your host, me.
:Host: I'm a doctor or whatever.

:[Same scene as before but in a broader panel, and the host is now holding only one hand up with a finger pointing up. The audience is the same four people, but now Hairy has moved further to the left in the panel to make room for Megan also to the left of the host.]
:Host: I'm not gonna waste your time on the shitty stars.
:Host: Just the good stuff.
:Host: Honestly half of 'em just look like dots.

:[A frame-less drawing with a zoom out showing the group of six people in black silhouette on a white background. Part of the ground beneath them is shown as a black pool. The host is pointing up with one hand. The people have been rearranged, so left of the host is now a Cueball-like guy and Megan, and to the right is the other Cueball-like guy, then Ponytail (seen from the side as usual) and Hairy. All are looking up following the host's directions.]
:Host: This is Sirius. It's the brightest star in our sky so it's in charge.
:Host: It's really two stars but one of them is barely even trying.
:Host: This is Andromeda, it's too big to think about, so let's not.

:[Zoom in of the host's upper body, again drawn in white on a black background. She is looking right gesturing with one arm raised, and the other still pointing up with a finger stretched out. Her audience is no longer shown.]
:Host: That red stars is Betelgeuse. It's gonna explode someday.
:Host: Can't happen soon enough, as far as I'm concerned. I-
:Host: ''Holy shit did you see that meteor!?!''
:Host: Space is ''awesome!''

:[Same scene as the previous panel, but the host has turned towards left looking at someone in the audience (not shown) who speaks off-screen. She has taken both her hands down for the first time.]
:Off-screen voice: Are you ''sure'' you're an astronomer?
:Host: People keep asking that, so I finally tried to look that word up in a dictionary, and ''wow'' is that book ever boring. No thank you.
:Off-screen voice: But-
:Host: ''Space!''

==Trivia==
*Randall changed the [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/archive/4/48/20160221022727!stargazing.png original] posted version of the comic.
**The only thing that changed was in the third panel where '''''That's''' Andromeda'' was changed to the current version: '''''This is''' Andromeda''
*From the official transcript it is clear that it is a male television host, and thus definitely not Megan.
**The official transcript seems to have been messed up on xkcd at the time being.
***The [http://xkcd.com/1644/info.0.json transcript for 1644] is thus at the moment a mix of that comics main info (top and bottom) which results in the correct title and title text, but the entire description in this transcript is describing the comic from two releases before no. [[1642]].
***This seems to be a general problem for recent comics...
***Thus the description of this comic, was first released when comic no. [[1646]] came out (today when this was written).
***This probably will be corrected later? But at this moment the official transcript for 1644 can be found together with the [http://xkcd.com/1646/info.0.json data for comic 1646].
**The transcript is included here below due to the issues with xkcd's transcript at the current time (correcting a typo with a missing "s" in "stuff" and formatting to look like our normal transcripts):
::[A television host in the foreground, speaking toward the reader. A group of other people are in the background behind them.]
::Host: Welcome to Stargazing, with your host, me. I'm a doctor or whatever.
::[He continues to talk.]]
::Host: I'm not gonna waste your time on the shitty stars. Just the good stuff. Honestly half of 'em just look like dots.
::[Normal color panel - black on white. A shot from far away of the host standing in the center of the group of people watching him, he points to the sky.]
::Host: This is Sirius. It's the brightest star in our sky so it's in charge. It's really two stars, but one of them is barely even trying. This is Andromeda. It's too big to think about, so let's not.
::[Inverse color panel. Close-up on the host gesturing toward the sky behind him.]
::Host: That red star is Betelgeuse. It's gonna explode someday. Can't happen soon enough, as far as I'm concerned. I-- ''HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT METEOR?!?!'' Space is ''awesome''!
::[The host speaks to someone out of panel.]
::Other: Are you ''sure'' you're an astronomer?
::Host: People keep asking that, so I finally tried to look that word up in a dictionary, and ''wow'' is that book ever boring. No ''thank'' you.
::Other: But--
::Host: ''SPACE!''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]] 
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Space]]

1426: Reduce Your Payments

2016-06-15T06:39:10Z

Figvh: /* Explanation */ missing space and closing bracket

{{comic
| number = 1426
| date = September 26, 2014
| title = Reduce Your Payments
| image = reduce your payments.png
| titletext = I tried oxidizing them, but your bank uses some really weird paper and it wouldn't light.
}}
[[File:Sodium_borohydride.svg|thumb|upright=1.5|Sodium borohydride, structural formula. (from Wikimedia Commons)]]
==Explanation==
[[Black Hat]] walks into a room where [[Cueball]] sits in an armchair. Black Hat says to Cueball that he can reduce his mortgage payments, while holding a docket of paper, presumably Cueball's payment check, that looks like it has been dipped into a liquid of some kind. Black Hat uses the same formulation many Internet advertisements use: "Discover this (strange/new/amazing...) trick to (lose weight/reduce your mortgage payments/meet amazing women/grow your penis...)" known as {{w|clickbait}}. Cueball wants to know how and Black Hat responds by mentioning {{w|Sodium borohydride|sodium borohydride (NaBH4)}}. Since Cueball fell for Black Hat's bait he exclaims, "I hate you."

{{w|Sodium borohydride}} is a strong {{w|reducing agent}}, meaning in a chemical reaction it will "{{w|redox|reduce}}" another substance. It is in fact used during the [http://www.borax.com/library/articles/news-and-events/news-release/paper's-tiger manufacture of paper], in order to bleach the natural colour from the pulp and improve the resulting paper's brightness, opacity, ink-absorption, and strength (among other properties).

This comic is a typical switcharound pun. Cueball expects the value on a bill paid to be reduced, while Black Hat uses the chemical meaning of {{w|Reduction (chemistry)|reducing}}, which would result at a minimum in the bleaching of all ink from the bill therefore making it unreadable.

The complementary chemical reaction to reduction is {{w|oxidation}} (mentioned in [[1693: Oxidation]]), which is what happens if the paper mortgage payment is burned, as referred to in the title text. They go together in {{w|redox}} reactions, which generally involve electron transfer from the {{w|chemical species}} which is oxidized to the one which is reduced. In that case, the pun about light (to start a fire) is that a reduced financial weight may seem light (not heavy).

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sits on a sofa and Blackhat walks into the frame from behind.]
:Blackhat: I discovered this weird trick for reducing your mortgage payments!
:Cueball: What?
:Blackhat: Sodium borohydride.
:Cueball: ...I hate you.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Chemistry]]
[[Category:Clickbait]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Puns]]

1426: Reduce Your Payments

2016-06-15T06:31:43Z

Figvh: added category chemistry

{{comic
| number = 1426
| date = September 26, 2014
| title = Reduce Your Payments
| image = reduce your payments.png
| titletext = I tried oxidizing them, but your bank uses some really weird paper and it wouldn't light.
}}
[[File:Sodium_borohydride.svg|thumb|upright=1.5|Sodium borohydride, structural formula. (from Wikimedia Commons)]]
==Explanation==
[[Black Hat]] walks into a room where [[Cueball]] sits in an armchair. Black Hat says to Cueball that he can reduce his mortgage payments, while holding a docket of paper, presumably Cueball's payment check, that looks like it has been dipped into a liquid of some kind. Black Hat uses the same formulation many Internet advertisements use: "Discover this (strange/new/amazing...) trick to (lose weight/reduce your mortgage payments/meet amazing women/grow your penis...)" known as {{w|clickbait}}. Cueball wants to know how and Black Hat responds by mentioning {{w|Sodium borohydride|sodium borohydride (NaBH4)}}. Since Cueball fell for Black Hat's bait he exclaims, "I hate you."

{{w|Sodium borohydride}} is a strong {{w|reducing agent}}, meaning in a chemical reaction it will "{{w|redox|reduce}}" another substance. It is in fact used during the [http://www.borax.com/library/articles/news-and-events/news-release/paper's-tiger manufacture of paper], in order to bleach the natural colour from the pulp and improve the resulting paper's brightness, opacity, ink-absorption, and strength (among other properties).

This comic is a typical switcharound pun. Cueball expects the value on a bill paid to be reduced, while Black Hat uses the chemical meaning of {{w|Reduction (chemistry)|reducing}}, which would result at a minimum in the bleaching of all ink from the bill therefore making it unreadable.

The complementary chemical reaction to reduction is {{w|oxidation}}(mentioned in [[1693: Oxidation]], which is what happens if the paper mortgage payment is burned, as referred to in the title text. They go together in {{w|redox}} reactions, which generally involve electron transfer from the {{w|chemical species}} which is oxidized to the one which is reduced. In that case, the pun about light (to start a fire) is that a reduced financial weight may seem light (not heavy).

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sits on a sofa and Blackhat walks into the frame from behind.]
:Blackhat: I discovered this weird trick for reducing your mortgage payments!
:Cueball: What?
:Blackhat: Sodium borohydride.
:Cueball: ...I hate you.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Chemistry]]
[[Category:Clickbait]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Puns]]

140: Delicious

2016-06-05T07:27:33Z

Figvh: Added category puns

{{comic
| number = 140
| date = August 11, 2006
| title = Delicious
| image = delicious.png
| titletext = I'm currently in the I Have Cheese phase of this cycle.
}}

==Explanation==
The simplest explanation for the comic is the recipe for {{w|nachos}}. You take some {{w|tortilla chips}}, spread them out on a plate, sprinkle them with {{w|grated cheese}} and perhaps some other ingredients like salsa, beans, or guacamole, and put the plate in the oven until the cheese is melted. As usual with a full bag of snacks, you always end up with that tiny bit left at the bottom of the bag. In this case, it is either leftover grated cheese (left) or tortilla chips (right). So you end up buying another package of the other ingredient to make nachos again.

This is an example of a {{w|Virtuous circle and vicious circle|virtuous or vicious cycle}}, in which a feedback loop reinforces itself. A virtuous cycle has favorable results, while a vicious has detrimental results. In this case it is neither a virtuous or vicious cycle but a ''delicious cycle'' - the pun of this joke.

The title text just says that currently, [[Randall]] has leftover cheese. He will probably get chips soon, continuing the cycle.

The same problem with having leftovers when making a dish using two types of food that doesn't match up, is the setup for the joke in [[1641: Hot Dogs]].

==Transcript==
:[Frame is split by a diagonal.]
:[First half: Cueball in front of open fridge.]
:Cueball: I have leftover cheese. I should get chips and make nachos.

:[Second half: Cueball with bag of chips.]
:Cueball: I have leftover chips. I should get cheese and make nachos.

:[Caption below the two drawings:]
:A delicious cycle

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Puns]]

1322: Winter

2016-05-22T12:49:39Z

Figvh: good advice but not really relevant to the comic

{{comic
| number = 1322
| date = January 27, 2014
| title = Winter
| image = winter.png
| titletext = Stay warm, little flappers, and find lots of plant eggs!
}}

==Explanation==
[[Beret Guy]] and [[Cueball]] are walking. Beret Guy is making several remarks about the situation. The sky is blue or the air is cold, there is ice to walk on, and the birds are chirping in the trees. When making these observations, however, he does not use the conventional terms. Instead he uses word compounds, similar to "[[1133: Up Goer Five|Up Goer Five]]". When Cueball brings up Beret Guy's odd vocabulary, he retorts by declaring that the name does not matter, as long as the things themselves are what they should be. This is the same concept that is communicated in the line from the Shakespearean play, "Romeo and Juliet": "What's in a name? That which we call {{w|a rose by any other name would smell as sweet}}." The concept is similar to that discussed by Richard Feynman as the difference between knowing the name of something and knowing something.<ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05WS0WN7zMQ YouTube Video: R. P. Feynman on the difference between knowing the name of something and knowing something]</ref>

In the title text Beret Guy continues to use playful language and offers affectionate encouragement: "stay warm, little flappers", demonstrating that his intentions are kind, not obfuscatory. Additionally, it is an indirect salutation from [[Randall Munroe]] to the readers, acknowledging the remarkably cold temperatures North America was experiencing at the time.

Dictionary

*The sky is cold: it's a clear, cold day
*floor water: puddle
*too hard to drink: frozen
*handcoats: mittens or gloves
*spacelight: sunlight
*flappy planes: birds
*beeping: chirping
*stick towers: trees
*little flappers: baby birds
*plant eggs: seeds, berries

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Beret Guy, Cueball in a winter hat and Beret Guy in a beret, are walking through snow and across a patch of ice.]
:Beret Guy: The sky is cold and the floor water is too hard to drink.

:[Beret Guy looks upwards.]
:Beret Guy: But I have my handcoats and the spacelight is warm.

:[Beret Guy and Cueball continue on through woods; there are musical notes coming from the trees.]

:Beret Guy: Listen—the flappy planes are beeping in the stick towers.

:[Cueball pauses.]
:Cueball: Those are all the wrong words for those things.
:[Beret Guy replies from off panel.]
:Beret Guy: Maybe—but the things themselves are all right. So who cares?

:[Cueball continues walking, with sunlight and musical notes above.]

==References==
<references/>

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Language]]

Talk:1678: Recent Searches

2016-05-10T11:34:45Z

Figvh:

You can convert jpg to Excel (http://www.think-maths.co.uk/spreadsheet), so converting gif to Excel is not really absurd... {{unsigned ip|141.101.93.51}}
:Or maybe Randall(?) has a screenshot of a spreadsheet (or more realistically, an over-the-shoulder video of someone's spreadsheet), and he wants to OCR it back into a spreadsheet. --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.218.209|108.162.218.209]] 19:19, 9 May 2016 (UTC)

Interestingly enough "CPU temperature sensor limits" might be a serious consideration for extreme overclockers, who use things like liquid nitrogen to cool their PC. [[User:SG 01|SG 01]] ([[User talk:SG 01|talk]]) 15:45, 9 May 2016 (UTC)
: Not really, the limit of the CPU temp sensors would only necessary if you are planing to get the cpu to really high temperatures. That is, if you are using liquid nitrogen to cool the cpu, you should never reach the limit of the sensors.[[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.69|108.162.221.69]] 18:38, 9 May 2016 (UTC)
:: Hey, [[165|our IP addresses differ only in 8 bits]]! Does this mean we are in the same part of campus? --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.59|108.162.219.59]] 19:38, 9 May 2016 (UTC)
::: What... that one is not not my ip! And the guy that mentioned "OCR" up there also has a very similar ip to ours. Is some kind of proxy explainxkcd has? (btw, I wonder if I'll get the same ip on this comment. I haven't disconnected my router or anything) [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.69|108.162.221.69]] 21:58, 9 May 2016 (UTC)
:::: It appears that explainxkcd.com is using Cloudflare, so all the wiki edits are probably logged as coming from Cloudflare's proxies. A WHOIS search confirms that the IPs 108.162.192.0 to 108.162.255.255 are part of Cloudflare's network --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.228.167|108.162.228.167]] 22:22, 9 May 2016 (UTC)
::::: I had thought explainxkcd was anonymizing IP addresses to some carefully chosen ranges. Apparently that's just a helpful side effect. Does Cloudflare always assign the same proxy to a particular source address? [[User:.42|.42]] ([[User talk:.42|talk]]) 23:34, 9 May 2016 (UTC)
: Note that it says "limits" in plural, i.e. both upper and lower. --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.218.209|108.162.218.209]] 19:28, 9 May 2016 (UTC)

;Safe mode
This is my first time trying to help out with an explanation, please let me know if I did something wrong ^_^; [[User:Undergroundmonorail|Undergroundmonorail]] ([[User talk:Undergroundmonorail|talk]]) 15:48, 9 May 2016 (UTC)
: I like where you went with safe/dangerous. Of the "unsafe" synonyms I found my favorite is "menacing mode". [[User:Elvenivle|Elvenivle]] ([[User talk:Elvenivle|talk]])

: My first impression here though was that he's so often dropping to safe mode he forgot what's regular system like or how to get there – so he searches for reference how to get there. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.95.129|141.101.95.129]] 20:29, 9 May 2016 (UTC)

Is it possible the first one is an attempt to misuse google translate to translate programming code (to another programming language or even between linguistic languages)? [[User:TheHYPO|TheHYPO]] ([[User talk:TheHYPO|talk]]) 15:59, 9 May 2016 (UTC)

GIF to XLS could be a reference to http://www.think-maths.co.uk/spreadsheet [[Special:Contributions/141.101.93.55|141.101.93.55]] 16:16, 9 May 2016 (UTC)
: Nice find. I was thinking like that + a macro to flip sheets. [[User:Elvenivle|Elvenivle]] ([[User talk:Elvenivle|talk]])

Doesn't "recursive" mean that it repeats (recurs)? [[User:Cardboardmech|Cardboardmech]] ([[User talk:Cardboardmech|talk]]) 16:44, 9 May 2016 (UTC)

Silly comment because: can't...stop...laughing. [[User:Elvenivle|Elvenivle]] ([[User talk:Elvenivle|talk]])

Hey... what does this line refer to? "A complication in attempting to solve computer problems this way would be presented by Google's search term autocorrection, which for several years has replaced technical terms with unrelated language from recent popular culture." I can't see how it's relevant to the comic, is it implying that these arent actually the questions he searched for, they're one autocorrection away from what he was trying to find? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.250.158|108.162.250.158]] 00:14, 10 May 2016 (UTC)

: For example, Google suggests "fsck" should be "fleck" and automatically alters the results accordingly. "Fleck Chrome extension" is a reasonable search query (Fleck is a web annotation service) but "fleck" is implausible as a typo. [[User:.42|.42]] ([[User talk:.42|talk]]) 00:28, 10 May 2016 (UTC)

;autoexec joke

isn't this related to autoexec.bat? [[User:Blydro|Blydro]] ([[User talk:Blydro|talk]]) 16:00, 9 May 2016 (UTC)blydro
: Or...autoexec.ncf (Netware), autoexec.nt (Windows), autoexec.cfg (Source/Valve/Counterstrike) and an adult reference at Urban Dictionary. [[User:Elvenivle|Elvenivle]] ([[User talk:Elvenivle|talk]])

This isn't farfetched. In need of a server, I was recently considering using obfuscated strings in a public blog to temporarily control my own apps...and malware's been doing stuff like this for ages. [[User:Elvenivle|Elvenivle]] ([[User talk:Elvenivle|talk]])

;Keybinding

I originally interpreted "clean reinstall keybinding" as meaning that his keybindings were so entirely screwed that he wanted to do a clean reinstall of the keybinding system, but the other interpretation is funnier. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.74|108.162.219.74]] 16:24, 9 May 2016 (UTC)

;FSCK

I've only ever seen "fsck" as a way of saying "fuck" that bypasses content filters, such as in global chat in games like World of Warcraft. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.52.62|173.245.52.62]] 16:25, 9 May 2016 (UTC)

I'm pretty sure it's file system consistency check. It's a program for checking your Linux filesystem. I think the Joke is that he needs to check his filesystem for corruption so often that he needs the convenience of a chrome extension. I have not edited the page because I neither use chrome extensions nor have I ever run fsck. Can anyone back me up on this? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.218.197|108.162.218.197]] 16:43, 9 May 2016 (UTC)

:Yes, that's what fsck refers to here. I've run it many a time on my old Red Hat installation that somehow kept corrupting itself. --[[User:PsyMar|PsyMar]] ([[User talk:PsyMar|talk]]) 16:54, 9 May 2016 (UTC)

;Predictable touchpad

A predictable touchpad would actually be a major blow to internet security -- mouse events are being used to seed randomness generators for cryptography. I don't think this piece of information is suited for the explanation, but just in case someone's interested: You're welcome! [[Special:Contributions/141.101.91.247|141.101.91.247]] 16:26, 9 May 2016 (UTC)

;Title text
After the npm burndown, someone actually made it possible to require from twitter: (https://gist.github.com/rauchg/5b032c2c2166e4e36713) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.83.114|162.158.83.114]] 18:25, 9 May 2016 (UTC)

;Syntax highlighting a natlang
Syntax highlighting a natural language might color the subject, verb, object, adverbs, and prepositional phrases. --[[User:Tepples|Tepples]] ([[User talk:Tepples|talk]]) 18:27, 9 May 2016 (UTC)
:Google Translate is not limited to natlangs (e.g. it has Esperanto). And I heard of some syntax highlighters for conlangs (namely Lojban). --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.218.209|108.162.218.209]] 19:13, 9 May 2016 (UTC)

;Permutations
"[https://www.google.com/search?q=syntax+highlighting+Google+translate syntax highlighting Google translate]" gives wildly different results from "[https://www.google.com/search?q=Google+translate+syntax+highlighting Google translate syntax highlighting]". The explainxkcd article has been climbing in the results; can it displace Wikipedia or CPAN for these queries? Might there be a hidden joke related to some query in the list? [[User:.42|.42]] ([[User talk:.42|talk]]) 00:54, 10 May 2016 (UTC)

: (Update: for both queries, we have displaced Wikipedia, StackOverflow, and CPAN in some Google servers.) [[User:.42|.42]] ([[User talk:.42|talk]]) 02:49, 10 May 2016 (UTC)

: The first result ''was'' Google's own documentation. No more! [[User:.42|.42]] ([[User talk:.42|talk]]) 04:00, 10 May 2016 (UTC)

Is it really suitable to use the word leopard instead of keyboard? Even though it's linked to the relevant comic explanation it seems likely to add unnecessary confusion and doesn't really add to this explanation. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.34.217|162.158.34.217]] 10:30, 10 May 2016 (UTC)

Isn't the clean reinstall keybinding pointless for saving time since he'd have to redo it every time he did a clean reinstall? [[User:Figvh|Figvh]] ([[User talk:Figvh|talk]]) 11:34, 10 May 2016 (UTC)

1662: Jack and Jill

2016-04-03T12:05:12Z

Figvh: Undo revision 116149 by Todor (talk) nothing else to support this

{{comic
| number = 1662
| date = March 30, 2016
| title = Jack and Jill
| image = jack_and_jill.png
| titletext = Jill and Jack / began to frack. / The oil boosts their town. / But fractures make / the bedrock shake / and Jack came tumbling down.
}}

==Explanation==
"{{w|Jack and Jill (nursery rhyme)|Jack and Jill}}" is a traditional English nursery rhyme. The rhyme dates back at least to the 18th century, one version even with 15 stanzas.

The first and most commonly known verse is the one referenced by Jill in the comic as she says the first three lines:
:Jack and Jill
:went up the hill
:To fetch a {{w|wikt:pail|pail}} of water.
:Jack fell down
:and broke his crown,
:And Jill came tumbling after.

The comic makes fun of the counterintuitive idea that Jack and Jill go ''up'' a hill to fetch water, because natural water sources like rivers and streams flow downhill, making them usually found in valleys rather than on top of hills. Thus it shouldn't be necessary to have to go up a hill to get water. Similarly, if the water is coming from a well, then building a well at the top of a hill seems an odd choice to Megan. The groundwater table stays at about the same level over smaller areas, so building a well on a hill would require digging further.

However, Megan is probably not aware that since groundwater tends to flow in a similar direction to the slope of the land, it is often considered safer to dig a well uphill from potential sources of runoff, such as outhouses, fields, or septic systems. In times when populations were more predominantly rural, and probably when the poem was composed, "Always dig your well uphill from the outhouse" was a well-known maxim. Moreover, since it takes more energy to bring water uphill from a well (especially in a pail), there is a long-term advantage to having wells higher than main residential areas, as opposed to lower. (This principle explains why water towers are used, even in cities.) Finally, artesian wells deliver water from confined aquifers, which can sometimes be as close to the surface at higher elevations as at lower ones. As an urban dweller, Megan probably gets water from city plumbing, and is not familiar with the principles of well placement that Jack and Jill grew up with.

The title text is [[Randall]]'s own version, a parody of this first verse, where the names have been switched in the first and last line:
:Jill and Jack
:began to frack.
:The oil boosts their town.
:But fractures make
:the bedrock shake
:and Jack came tumbling down.

This version, which may explain why they went up the hill after water, connects the idea to {{w|hydraulic fracturing}} (colloquially "fracking") methods for oil and gas extraction. In these methods, highly pressurized liquids are forced into a given ground stratum (or layer). With enough pressure, the stratum starts to deform and crack. This allows potential gas and oil to flow more freely. The liquid used for fracturing usually also contains materials like sand or ceramics which, once the liquid is removed, will help to maintain the newly formed cracks so as to further allow the desired free movement of oil and gas.

A common {{w|Environmental impact of hydraulic fracturing|side effect of this method}} is that water levels and presence at the surface might be modified. In this comic, water can now be found at the top of the hill. This goes against the usual laws of hydraulics, themselves subject to the laws of gravity, which indicate that water should go down through ground cracks. Thus water is usually found at the bottom of valleys or hills. But in the comic, fracking at the bottom forces the water up, thus explaining why the kids go get water up the hill, which, as [[Megan]] points out, is messed-up {{w|hydrology}}. Also, fracking may cause {{w|induced seismicity}} in the form of {{w|micro-earthquake}}s, as alluded to in the title text, which is the cause for tumbling down in the title text version.

This is the second Wednesday in a row that Randall uses two children to make a reference to an environmental issue, the first being [[1659: Tire Swing]], about {{w|tire recycling}}.

==Transcript==
:[Megan is watching as the two kids Jill with hair bun and a ponytail and Jack with spiky hair are walking by her. Jack has a pail in his hand.]
:Jill: Me and Jack are going up the hill to fetch a pail of water.

:[Megan, standing back alone, calls out after them.]
:Megan: Okay, have fun!

:[Beat panel.]

:[Megan suddenly realizes something while looking down on the ground.]
:Megan: ... Wait. What the ''heck'' is going on with the hydrology around here?

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

1661: Podium

2016-03-29T04:10:06Z

Figvh: Undo revision 115824 by Rupumped (talk) It's perfectly fine to end sentences with prepositions in english

{{comic
| number = 1661
| date = March 28, 2016
| title = Podium
| image = podium.png
| titletext = BREAKING: Senator's bold pro-podium stand leads to primary challenge from prescriptivist base.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|More on the info in the title text and links to dictionaries should be real links.}}
The comic is playing on a stereotypical politician, without any real beliefs, here represented by [[Cueball]] without any features, but they want to appear to stand for something. Alternatively, this is what might happen if someone like Cueball (or the strip's author Randall), who tend to think literally and who get interested in and distracted by tangents, were running.

Thus, Cueball picks up what is, in some circles, an argument: whether the standing desk used by public speakers should be called a "{{w|podium}}" or a "{{w|lectern}}." This argument is actually common among members of {{w|Toastmasters International}}, though it would usually not rise to the level of needing to be part of a national discourse.

Technically — or at least, in original use or etymologically — a podium is the stage or raised platform, which Cueball is standing on. Those on the "anti-podium" side state - correctly - that "podium" derives from the Greek word "pous/podos" meaning "foot" and thus denotes "a small platform for the conductor of an orchestra, for a public speaker, etc." (dictionary.com). This is the prescriptivist position - mentioned in the title text - indicating that dictionaries and similar publications prescribe how words should be used. However common in teaching institutions with their power hierarchies, the very notion of dictionaries as prescriptive is wrong relative to traditional standards of lexicographers, e.g. to require use of a word in 12 fields of usage over 20 years before formal adoption, with certain exceptions. In effect when dictionaries are backwards looking specialized sociology history documents, such "teaching" of prescriptivist positions becomes a mix of fraud and cultural insanity to demand false authority, noting the nature of politicians themselves to often act as false authorities.

The literal distinction between podium and lectern (or the meaning of "this thing") is not obvious from context, when the meaning of ''podium'' has drifted in common use to refer to the small standing desk the speaker stands behind, puts papers on, etc. — i.e. the lectern. This is the descriptivist view that so many people "misuse" the word that "podium" now can validly refer to the small standing desk behind which speakers often stand. Dictionary.com lists "lectern" as definition #3 for "podium."

Sometimes, [http://www.platformgiant.com/podium-vs-lectern people care about this]. The fact is, though the etymological definition is clear (the lectern is the desk that stands on the podium), and the difference might be important if you were setting up an auditorium, in common usage it really doesn't matter. If a public speaker is asked to step up to the podium, very few would quibble over the usage.

The idiomatic idea of "stepping up" to the podium could remain accurate even if one then uses a lectern, when the lectern is the reading desk placed on the elevated podium. That idiom shifts to entirely metaphorical when a lectern in many classrooms or meeting rooms is at floor level. With a shift towards virtual meeting spaces, and meeting rooms with computer driven audio-visual systems, the idea of both podiums as physical platforms, and lecterns as desks for reading matter when they're increasingly AV control centers, are changing. Such change further upends the idea of dictionaries as prescriptivist, given the nature of language to develop new words or alter meanings of necessity, versus sloppy common usage.

The title text implies that Cueball moves ahead with his promised research and ends up coming out on the side of calling it a podium. This leads to the people who follow the prescriptivist position to organize and put forward a political candidate to challenge Cueball in the {{w|primaries}}. In the U.S., the primaries are used to select a single candidate from a particular party to represent that party at final election (whether national or on a state level).

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is speaking at a lectern standing on a podium.]
:Cueball: The American people are tired of politics as usual.
:Cueball: They're tired of-
:Cueball: Okay, brief tangent: is this thing a podium or a lectern? People say "podium" is wrong, but I also see it used that way in pretty formal contexts. Is usage just changing?
:Cueball: If elected, I will get to the bottom of this for once and for all.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Language]]

1659: Tire Swing

2016-03-24T07:44:27Z

Figvh: /* Explanation */ it's a truck in the title text

{{comic
| number = 1659
| date = March 23, 2016
| title = Tire Swing
| image = tire_swing.png
| titletext = If we find one of those tire dumps, the next time he tries to get his truck back we can just retreat and let him have it.
}}

==Explanation==
In this comic, two girls have just completed a [https://damnyoulittlerock.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/img_5457.jpg tire swing]: A common makeshift {{w|swing (seat)|swing}} created by hanging a car {{w|tire}} from a length of rope, typically tied to the branch of a tree as in the comic. (The left girl has a hair bun with a ponytail and thus has a similar appearance as the adult [[Hair Bun Girl]]. The right girl might at first look like [[Megan]] but not quite as she is revealed upon zoom in to have curly hair, so it is neither of these adults. That they are rather small kids can be seen from the size of the wheel compared to them.)

In the second panel of this comic the girl with the hair bun muses that there are huge [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2337351/Worlds-biggest-tyre-graveyard-Incredible-images-Kuwaiti-landfill-site-huge-seen-space.html tire dumps] filled with nothing but old tires that have no use. In the last panel, she continues that maybe they should use a tire from such a dump next time they make a tire swing. The presumption is that perhaps they used a brand new tire, or a tire from some other source. This is confirmed by the other girl's response (and also by the title text, see below) which makes it clear that the tire they used was in fact stolen from a guy's vehicle. The last reply from the girl with the hair bun suggests the victim put up a fight and they had to take the tire by force. So these two small girls actually fought an adult man over his truck and won the fight.

Vehicle tires have a limited lifespan. The natural end of their life is when the pattern of raised treads on the circumference of the tire, which promote traction on wet roads, are worn down to a point where they are no longer effective enough. Tires can also become damaged in other ways, such as puncture.

{{w|Tire recycling|Used tires}} are a notable ecological problem for a number of reasons (e.g. their size, the quantity produced, their relatively short lifespan, and the fact that they are difficult and slow to break down and contain a number of components that are ecologically problematic). A tire swing represents a functional use for otherwise useless old tires. The amount of tires (it is estimated that 259 million tires are discarded annually) makes them attractive targets for recycling. More than half of used tires are ultimately simply burned for their fuel value (which is at least better than sitting in landfills indefinitely).

The comic is thus clearly [[Randall|Randall's]] attempt to draw attention to this huge ecological problem, as he so often before has done with other climate change/global warming related comics (see for instance [[164: Playing Devil's Advocate to Win]], [[1321: Cold]] and [[1379: 4.5 Degrees]]. So while this is not the joke of the comic, it could be the point of it.

He thus gives another way to use old tires. It should be noted that used tires are not necessarily safe to use as a kids' toy as they could become sharp/frayed along the edges and stones and other hard/sharp objects may have become stuck in the tires (even going all the way through), during its life span, or worn thin enough to tear apart mid-swing (when the stresses on the swing material would be at their peak). So tires bought for use as a swing would usually be new, but not necessarily made as solid as those used for cars. Used tires reused for a swing should be inspected for these problems.

The title text goes further, suggesting that they actually stole the victim's entire truck - possibly just to harvest the tire needed for the swing - and that he unsuccessfully attempted to recover the truck, so they probably did fight him. He put up enough of a fight that they do not wish to fight him again (so he at least survived). Further, since the girls expect him to try again (maybe recovering the truck with only three tires), they apparently still have the truck. One of the girls suggests that if they could find one of these tire dumps, then they could take a tire from there, make a new swing, and then just walk or run away from the truck when the guy comes back, letting him have it if he really wants it so bad.

==Transcript==
:[Two girls, one with a hair bun with a curly ponytail the other with long curly hair, are standing under a large leafless tree as the girl with hair bun adjusts a tire swing hanging from the largest of the branches of the tree. The tire hangs so high that the small girls only reach up to just above the center of the tire which has a diameter of more than half the height of the girls.]
:Girl with hair bun: Ok, looks good.

:[Zoom in on the girls so only the tire swing can be seen, and nothing of the tree. They both look at the tire.]
:Girl with hair bun: I read that there are these huge dumps everywhere full of millions of old tires that no one knows what to do with.

:[Same setting but the girl with hair bun looks up at the tree (outside the frame).]
:Girl with hair bun: We should use one of those next time.
:Curly haired girl: Yeah. That guy was real mad.
:Girl with hair bun: I would ''not'' want to fight him again.

{{comic discussion}}

566: Matrix Revisited

2016-03-16T01:58:41Z

Figvh: /* Transcript */ red + blue = purple

{{comic
| number = 566
| date = April 8, 2009
| title = Matrix Revisited
| image = matrix_revisited.png
| titletext = I actually remember being entertained by both the sequels while in the theater. They just don't hold up nearly as well in later comparison.
}}

==Explanation==
In the first frame it is stated that the comic was released on the anniversary of the movie ''{{w|The Matrix}}''. This is not true. The Matrix was released 31 March 1999 in the US, although it was next released in Australia on 8 April 1999, ten years before the release of this comic. But maybe [[Randall]] drew the comic (and had watched the movie) on the true 10 year anniversary day.

[[Megan]] is shocked when she realizes it is already ten years ago that ''The Matrix'' came out. This is an effect Randall has used to [[:Category:Comics_to_make_one_feel_old|make you feel old]] several times (for instance he mentions The Matrix again two years later in [[891: Movie Ages]].)

In ''The Matrix'', almost all of humanity lives in a computer simulation. Many years ago, robots took over the real world (not the simulation), and placed humans into the simulation while their body heat generated power for the robots. A few people have escaped from the Matrix, and they are on a mission with others to free the human race from the robots. The title of the strip is a reference to the documentary on the filming of ''The Matrix'': ''{{w|The Matrix Revisited}}''.

In the first three rows of the comic we see three famous scenes from ''The Matrix'' parodied by Randall. The characters are {{w|Morpheus (The Matrix)|Morpheus}}, with sunglasses; {{w|Neo (The Matrix)|Neo}}, as [[Cueball]] in the first two scenes and with a black cape in the third scene; {{w|Trinity (The Matrix)|Trinity}}, as [[Hair Bun Girl]]; and a security guard in the third scene, as another Cueball-like guy.

In the first scene Morpheus tells Neo that one cannot explain what the Matrix is and that he must see it for himself to understand. Morpheus is very mysterious as he tempts Neo to take a look himself, which, in the movie, leads to the next scene. In this comic, however, Trinity makes Morpheus look foolish by clearly explaining the Matrix in a single, simple phrase, and then telling him that he must suck at explaining.

In the next scene Morpheus tries to ignore Trinity's remark and continues by showing Neo two pills, one red and one blue, and tells Neo that he can either take the blue pill and return to the simulation (the Matrix), never to hear about the Matrix again, or he can take the red pill and leave the Matrix, and "see how deep the rabbit hole goes" (a reference to "{{w|Alice in Wonderland}}"). In the movie, Neo takes the red pill. In the comic, however, he mixes the two pills then {{w|Insufflation_(medicine)|snorts}} the purple powder he has created as though it was an illegal drug such as cocaine, and apparently winds up in a bizarre upside down and inverted dimension, presumably caused by his 'Drug Trip'. Even Morpheus now has no idea where they are. Note that the inversion of both color and orientation could be intended to evoke the idea of capturing an image on film (i.e. a film negative), which is *really* the only place where Neo and Morpheus exist. It is possible that the combination of pills allowed Neo to break through another layer of the simulation. Alternatively, this could simply be Randall trying to explain that they are in an alternate dimension whilst still remaining within the constraints of stick figures on white and black backgrounds.

What leads up to the third scene is when Neo and Trinity must save Morpheus, who has been captured by {{w|Agent (The Matrix)|agents}} of the simulation. They obtain many guns and load them into trenchcoats. In the shown scene Neo is stopped at a security checkpoint in a building in the Matrix. A security guard tells him to remove any metallic items, since the scanner has shown him to have metal on his person, such as keys, and place them in a bin, then walk through the scanner again. In the movie, he opens his trenchcoat, revealing a myriad of weapons and dispatching all of the guards with the assistance of Trinity. In the comic, however, Neo opens his trenchcoat, but the guard's response of "eww" implies that Neo is otherwise naked and the guard is disgusted by his display of his genitals (This could seem ironic since the guard could be said to be even more naked than him. But in the xkcd version of the matrix, stick people are presumably fully dressed unless otherwise indicated.)

When Randall (as Cueball) has seen the movie he turns to his friends (Megan and another Cueball-like guy) and exclaims that he had forgotten how great the movie is. When his friend suggests that they put on the other two sequels, there is a beat panel where Megan and Cueball look at each other, then they beat up the offender off-panel.

The two sequels to ''The Matrix'' are widely regarded as inferior to the original, with some fans [https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Fanon_Discontinuity pretending they don't exist]. This is what happens when Megan and Cueball return, and Cueball repeats his statement about how good it was. Then Megan is saddened by the fact they never made any sequels and Cueball agrees. Thus trying hard (even violently) to forget those sequels.

On {{w|IMDb}} the original movie was still in the top 20 on their [http://www.imdb.com/chart/top?tt0133093&ref_=tt_awd top 250 chart] in July 2015, with an average of [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0133093/ 8.7] vs. only [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0234215 7.2] and [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0242653 6.7] to the sequels (though even those two scores are relatively high compared to other action titles).

==Transcript==
:[Megan stands below two pieces of text, in a panel that is without a frame.]
:Today was the ten-year anniversary of the release of ''The Matrix.''
:I sat down to watch it again.
:Megan: Holy fuck, ten years ago?

:[The next three panels of the first row and the next two rows spoofs three scenes from The Matrix.]

:[In scene 1 Morpheus with sunglasses and Trinity with hair bun are talking to Cueball-Neo. Morpheus has his hands together.]
:Morpheus: Unfortunately, no one can explain what the matrix is. You have to see it for yourself.

:[Trinity lifts her hand.]
:Trinity: Sure you can. It's a computer simulation in which you live, thinking it's reality.
:Neo: Oh.

:[Morpheus takes his hands down and turns around glaring at Trinity who has also taken her hand down.]
:Trinity: ...What?
:Trinity: Look, maybe you just suck at explaining.

:[In scene 2 Morpheus is talking to Neo while holding a red pill and a blue pill. To the far right is a part of a table.]
:Morpheus: ...Or you take the red pill, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

:[Neo takes both pills from Morpheus.]

:[Neo crushes both the red and blue pills on a table top.]
:''Crush''

:[Neo snorts the resulting purple powder through a pipe he holds up to his face (his nose).]
:''Snort''

:[Morpheus and Neo are shown upside down in a frame with inverted colors, i.e., black background with white lines.]
:Morpheus: Now look what you've done.
:Neo: Where are we?
:Morpheus: I have no idea.

:[In scene 3 Neo, wearing a long, black trench coat, at a metal detector, is accosted by the Cueball-like security guard.]
:Guard: Please remove any keys, metallic items, weapons—

:[Neo steps close to the guard and opens his trench coat towards the guard, who is facing the reader. The reader can't see what Neo has under his coat.]

:[Same scene as above, but side view: Neo, on the left, is opening his coat toward the guard, who is on the right and seems to be looking down. Nobody speaks.]

:[Same scene as above but the guard now looks up to Neos face and finally speaks:]
:Guard: Eww.

:[In the last row of the comic we see three characters that have obviously just finished watching The Matrix. Cueball is sitting on the floor nearest to the TV, Megan is sitting on the floor, farther from the TV and a Cueball-like friend is sitting on a chair, farthest from the TV.]
:Cueball: I forgot how good that movie was.
:Friend: Wanna put on the other two?

:[Cueball, still sitting has turned to face Megan. They exchange looks without speaking.]

:[View of room, which is now empty, as is the chair. Sounds comes from off-screen to the right.]
:''Crash''
:''Wham''
:Friend (off-screen): Ow! Ow!

:[Cueball and Megan are back in the room, zoomed in so the TV is no longer visible, but the chair is and it remains empty. The friend is nowhere to be seen.]
:Cueball: I forgot how good that movie was.
:Megan: Too bad they never made any sequels.
:Cueball: True.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hair Bun Girl]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:The Matrix]]
[[Category:Comics to make one feel old]]

566: Matrix Revisited

2016-03-16T01:54:41Z

Figvh: /* Explanation */ grammar

{{comic
| number = 566
| date = April 8, 2009
| title = Matrix Revisited
| image = matrix_revisited.png
| titletext = I actually remember being entertained by both the sequels while in the theater. They just don't hold up nearly as well in later comparison.
}}

==Explanation==
In the first frame it is stated that the comic was released on the anniversary of the movie ''{{w|The Matrix}}''. This is not true. The Matrix was released 31 March 1999 in the US, although it was next released in Australia on 8 April 1999, ten years before the release of this comic. But maybe [[Randall]] drew the comic (and had watched the movie) on the true 10 year anniversary day.

[[Megan]] is shocked when she realizes it is already ten years ago that ''The Matrix'' came out. This is an effect Randall has used to [[:Category:Comics_to_make_one_feel_old|make you feel old]] several times (for instance he mentions The Matrix again two years later in [[891: Movie Ages]].)

In ''The Matrix'', almost all of humanity lives in a computer simulation. Many years ago, robots took over the real world (not the simulation), and placed humans into the simulation while their body heat generated power for the robots. A few people have escaped from the Matrix, and they are on a mission with others to free the human race from the robots. The title of the strip is a reference to the documentary on the filming of ''The Matrix'': ''{{w|The Matrix Revisited}}''.

In the first three rows of the comic we see three famous scenes from ''The Matrix'' parodied by Randall. The characters are {{w|Morpheus (The Matrix)|Morpheus}}, with sunglasses; {{w|Neo (The Matrix)|Neo}}, as [[Cueball]] in the first two scenes and with a black cape in the third scene; {{w|Trinity (The Matrix)|Trinity}}, as [[Hair Bun Girl]]; and a security guard in the third scene, as another Cueball-like guy.

In the first scene Morpheus tells Neo that one cannot explain what the Matrix is and that he must see it for himself to understand. Morpheus is very mysterious as he tempts Neo to take a look himself, which, in the movie, leads to the next scene. In this comic, however, Trinity makes Morpheus look foolish by clearly explaining the Matrix in a single, simple phrase, and then telling him that he must suck at explaining.

In the next scene Morpheus tries to ignore Trinity's remark and continues by showing Neo two pills, one red and one blue, and tells Neo that he can either take the blue pill and return to the simulation (the Matrix), never to hear about the Matrix again, or he can take the red pill and leave the Matrix, and "see how deep the rabbit hole goes" (a reference to "{{w|Alice in Wonderland}}"). In the movie, Neo takes the red pill. In the comic, however, he mixes the two pills then {{w|Insufflation_(medicine)|snorts}} the purple powder he has created as though it was an illegal drug such as cocaine, and apparently winds up in a bizarre upside down and inverted dimension, presumably caused by his 'Drug Trip'. Even Morpheus now has no idea where they are. Note that the inversion of both color and orientation could be intended to evoke the idea of capturing an image on film (i.e. a film negative), which is *really* the only place where Neo and Morpheus exist. It is possible that the combination of pills allowed Neo to break through another layer of the simulation. Alternatively, this could simply be Randall trying to explain that they are in an alternate dimension whilst still remaining within the constraints of stick figures on white and black backgrounds.

What leads up to the third scene is when Neo and Trinity must save Morpheus, who has been captured by {{w|Agent (The Matrix)|agents}} of the simulation. They obtain many guns and load them into trenchcoats. In the shown scene Neo is stopped at a security checkpoint in a building in the Matrix. A security guard tells him to remove any metallic items, since the scanner has shown him to have metal on his person, such as keys, and place them in a bin, then walk through the scanner again. In the movie, he opens his trenchcoat, revealing a myriad of weapons and dispatching all of the guards with the assistance of Trinity. In the comic, however, Neo opens his trenchcoat, but the guard's response of "eww" implies that Neo is otherwise naked and the guard is disgusted by his display of his genitals (This could seem ironic since the guard could be said to be even more naked than him. But in the xkcd version of the matrix, stick people are presumably fully dressed unless otherwise indicated.)

When Randall (as Cueball) has seen the movie he turns to his friends (Megan and another Cueball-like guy) and exclaims that he had forgotten how great the movie is. When his friend suggests that they put on the other two sequels, there is a beat panel where Megan and Cueball look at each other, then they beat up the offender off-panel.

The two sequels to ''The Matrix'' are widely regarded as inferior to the original, with some fans [https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Fanon_Discontinuity pretending they don't exist]. This is what happens when Megan and Cueball return, and Cueball repeats his statement about how good it was. Then Megan is saddened by the fact they never made any sequels and Cueball agrees. Thus trying hard (even violently) to forget those sequels.

On {{w|IMDb}} the original movie was still in the top 20 on their [http://www.imdb.com/chart/top?tt0133093&ref_=tt_awd top 250 chart] in July 2015, with an average of [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0133093/ 8.7] vs. only [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0234215 7.2] and [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0242653 6.7] to the sequels (though even those two scores are relatively high compared to other action titles).

==Transcript==
:[Megan stands below two pieces of text, in a panel that is without a frame.]
:Today was the ten-year anniversary of the release of ''The Matrix.''
:I sat down to watch it again.
:Megan: Holy fuck, ten years ago?

:[The next three panels of the first row and the next two rows spoofs three scenes from The Matrix.]

:[In scene 1 Morpheus with sunglasses and Trinity with hair bun are talking to Cueball-Neo. Morpheus has his hands together.]
:Morpheus: Unfortunately, no one can explain what the matrix is. You have to see it for yourself.

:[Trinity lifts her hand.]
:Trinity: Sure you can. It's a computer simulation in which you live, thinking it's reality.
:Neo: Oh.

:[Morpheus takes his hands down and turns around glaring at Trinity who has also taken her hand down.]
:Trinity: ...What?
:Trinity: Look, maybe you just suck at explaining.

:[In scene 2 Morpheus is talking to Neo while holding a red pill and a blue pill. To the far right is a part of a table.]
:Morpheus: ...Or you take the red pill, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

:[Neo takes both pills from Morpheus.]

:[Neo crushes both the red and blue pills on a table top.]
:''Crush''

:[Neo snorts the resulting pink powder through a pipe he holds up to his face (his nose).]
:''Snort''

:[Morpheus and Neo are shown upside down in a frame with inverted colors, i.e., black background with white lines.]
:Morpheus: Now look what you've done.
:Neo: Where are we?
:Morpheus: I have no idea.

:[In scene 3 Neo, wearing a long, black trench coat, at a metal detector, is accosted by the Cueball-like security guard.]
:Guard: Please remove any keys, metallic items, weapons—

:[Neo steps close to the guard and opens his trench coat towards the guard, who is facing the reader. The reader can't see what Neo has under his coat.]

:[Same scene as above, but side view: Neo, on the left, is opening his coat toward the guard, who is on the right and seems to be looking down. Nobody speaks.]

:[Same scene as above but the guard now looks up to Neos face and finally speaks:]
:Guard: Eww.

:[In the last row of the comic we see three characters that have obviously just finished watching The Matrix. Cueball is sitting on the floor nearest to the TV, Megan is sitting on the floor, farther from the TV and a Cueball-like friend is sitting on a chair, farthest from the TV.]
:Cueball: I forgot how good that movie was.
:Friend: Wanna put on the other two?

:[Cueball, still sitting has turned to face Megan. They exchange looks without speaking.]

:[View of room, which is now empty, as is the chair. Sounds comes from off-screen to the right.]
:''Crash''
:''Wham''
:Friend (off-screen): Ow! Ow!

:[Cueball and Megan are back in the room, zoomed in so the TV is no longer visible, but the chair is and it remains empty. The friend is nowhere to be seen.]
:Cueball: I forgot how good that movie was.
:Megan: Too bad they never made any sequels.
:Cueball: True.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hair Bun Girl]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:The Matrix]]
[[Category:Comics to make one feel old]]

Talk:712: Single Ladies

2016-03-13T10:49:53Z

Figvh:

Glum? Really? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.223|108.162.219.223]] 00:05, 25 December 2013 (UTC)

And it's the wraith-like things that quicken the heart... [[Special:Contributions/108.162.230.113|108.162.230.113]] 10:45, 24 October 2014 (UTC)

Sauron would have known that dwarves were created by Aulë, not Eru. This was a point of contention, but resolved gently, though sternly. -Merek (no user name yet) {{unsigned ip|199.27.133.83}}

I thought Sauron taught the elves and dwarves the art of making the Rings, not the other way around? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.60.17|162.158.60.17]] 06:48, 5 February 2016 (UTC)

Sauron did teach the elves, I changed that bit around --[[User:Figvh|Figvh]] ([[User talk:Figvh|talk]]) 10:49, 13 March 2016 (UTC)

712: Single Ladies

2016-03-13T10:47:23Z

Figvh: /* Explanation */ Sauron teaches elves how to make the ring, not the other way around

{{comic
| number = 712
| date = March 10, 2010
| title = Single Ladies
| image = single_ladies.png
| titletext = Using a ring to bind someone you covet into your dark and twisted world? Wow, just got the subtext there. Also, the apparently eager Beyoncé would've made one badass Nazgûl.
}}

==Explanation==
The character in armor is {{w|Sauron}}, the main villain in ''{{w|The Lord of the Rings}}'' trilogy. In the backstory, he takes control of Middle-earth by giving several {{w|Rings of Power}} as "gifts" to the great kings of men after teaching the craft to dwarves and elves. However, he also forged a master ring, the {{w|One Ring}}, to control the {{w|Rings of Power}} and ultimately rule over the kings. However, the elves were not deceived by his plan took off their rings. Enraged, Sauron starts {{w|War of the Elves and Sauron}}. After losing that war Sauron started religon in {{w|Númenor}}. After using his influence to convince Númenóreans to attack {{w|Aman}}, the island is destroyed by {{w|Eru}}. Then Sauron starts {{w|Last Alliance of Elves and Men|War against the Last Alliance}}. Sauron is eventually defeated in said war by {{w|Isildur}} who cuts off his ring finger. The books tell the story of a small group of adventurers who rediscover the lost Ring and attempt to destroy it, as Sauron's army gathers its forces to attempt to reclaim the Ring for their master.

{{w|Gil-galad}} is a high Elven-king, and {{w|Galadriel}} is an Elf of royal blood who serves as a matriarch of sorts to the remnants of the Elven race. {{w|Lindon}} is a location on the westernmost side of the continent, serving as the final transition point for Elves passing on to the Undying lands. Sauron refers to an actual event in the first panel, when he tried to gain control of Lindon through deceit; Galadriel and Gil-galad saw through his disguise and cast him out.

In the second panel Sauron is talking about {{w|Eru Ilúvatar}} the creator in Tolkien's Middle-earth legendarium. While Eru created elves and men it was {{w|Aulë}} who created Dwarves, Eru gave them life. Orcs were Elves twisted by {{w|Morgoth}} so Sauron, being his principal lieutenant, would be a natural leader to orcs by the time he created the One Ring.

The song playing in the background is "All the Single Ladies" by Beyoncé, which includes the line "If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it," referring to ''{{w|wedding rings}}''. This is shown as being what inspired Sauron to devise his plan to control others through the gift of rings.

The title text refers to an often-suggested fan theory that the One Ring ''is'' actually meant to be symbolic of marriage. The {{w|Nazgûl}}, also known as ringwraiths, are the former nine human kings who were bound by the rings, now a band of nine servants to Sauron who constantly seek out the Ring for him.

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy is talking to Sauron; Sauron is wearing his trademark helmet, but his head is downcast. Music plays in the background.]
:''Music: All the single ladies, All the single ladies''
:Beret Guy: Hey Sauron, why so glum?
:Sauron: Gil-galad saw through me and threw me out of Lindon. Galadriel as well. I'll never rule ''anyone'' at this rate.

:''Music: All the single ladies, All the single ladies''
:Sauron: Eru created such beautiful creatures - Elves and men and dwarves - and all I've got are these stupid orcs.

:''Music: 'Cause if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it''
:Sauron: I mean, I-

:[Sauron is suddenly quiet.]
:''Music: If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it''

==Trivia==
* Randall used the wrong "û" character when editing the title text; the character he used was U+0217 LATIN SMALL LETTER U WITH INVERTED BREVE, but the correct character is U+00FB LATIN SMALL LETTER U WITH CIRCUMFLEX. They look very similar at standard font sizes, but the inverted breve is curved, while the circumflex is pointed.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Songs]]

635: Locke and Demosthenes

2016-03-09T02:25:35Z

Figvh: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 635
| date = September 11, 2009
| title = Locke and Demosthenes
| image = locke_and_demosthenes.png
| titletext = Dear Peter Wiggin: This letter is to inform you that you have received enough up votes on your reddit comments to become president of the world. Please be at the UN tomorrow at 8:00 sharp.}}

==Explanation==
This comic re-imagines a scene from {{w|Ender's Game}}, by {{w|Orson Scott Card}}, this is shown in the first two panels depicting the siblings '''Locke and Demosthenes''', as [[Cueball]] and the girl. Their real names are Peter and Valentine Wiggin (and these first names are used in the [http://xkcd.com/635/info.0.json official transcript] on xkcd). In the book these two kids blogs on their worlds version of the internet to gain extreme political influence. Below is a description from the book:

'''Spoiler alert!''' 
In the book Ender is an above-average-intelligence boy who is selected to become a potential leader of Earth's "Defense" Forces in the event of another {{w|Formics|Bugger}} invasion (later re-titled the Formic invasions). Meanwhile, Ender's two older siblings, Peter and Valentine decide to save the world from itself. They do this by asserting themselves as wise demagogues who comment on political events on what are known as the "free nets" which are nets open to comment by anyone in the world. They choose pseudonyms to write under, as no one would take the words of children seriously, they choose Locke (Peter's pseudonym), and Demosthenes (Valentine's) and begin work. Eventually they gain enough respect to be invited to participate in moderated political debates in the higher class nets. By the end of the book, Peter has become the leader of the world, as Valentine runs away with Ender to a planet formerly inhabited by Buggers to live out their lives in peace.
 '''End spoiler alert!'''

Below the scene we see part of Locke/Peter's blog. The whole thing is eerily reminiscent of what blogging has become, without the becoming-the-head-of-government outcome, obviously. [[Randall]] is suggesting that if the book was set with today's technology, Locke and Demosthenes would be getting extremely low exposure with their wordpress blogs as evidenced by the 0 comments on each post.

In the bottom right corner there are links to other blogs. One is for Demosthenes, but the other is for {{w|FiveThirtyEight}} a real political blog that was founded by {{w|Nate Silver}} in 2008, more than a year before this comic was released. It was still owned by Nate in 2009 the year of this comics release but 2010 the blog became a licensed feature of The {{w|New York Times}} online and in July 2013, {{w|ESPN}} announced that it would become the owner. The blog takes its name from the number of electors in the United States electoral college: 538. It is a website that focuses on opinion poll analysis, politics, economics, and sports blogging. Nate Silver has been [[:Category:Comics featuring Nate Silver|referenced]], several times in xkcd, though mainly in the title text, before this comic for instance in [[500: Election]].

The title text uses Locke's full name Peter Wiggin, and is formed as a short letter that sarcastically informs him that he has become the president of the world (a futuristic title). He is told that he should meet tomorrow 8:00 sharp at the {{w|united nations}} (UN) headquarters. Not a normal tone to use when talking to the president... Also note that the note is addressed to "Peter" rather than "Locke"; Peter's attempt to remain anonymous has failed miserably. The most ironic part of the title text is that Peter got the presidential post because he received enough [https://www.reddit.com/wiki/voting up votes] on his {{w|reddit}} comments!

If you happen to be wondering about the squirrel vomiting after it ate the food (see transcript), Peter Wiggin is portrayed as a sadistic sociopath. There is a scene in the book where Valentine stumbles across a skinned squirrel still twitching in pain.

Both [[:Category:Ender's Game|Ender's Game]] and [[:Category:Squirrels|Squirrels]] has been references on a few occasions in xkcd.

==Transcript==
:[The "real" names and the fact that the squirrel is vomiting comes from the official [http://xkcd.com/635/info.0.json transcript] on xkcd.]

:[Valentine (i.e. Demosthenes, with long dark hair), is laying on her back on the ground looking up at the sky with her hands behind her head. Peter (i.e Locke, looking like Cueball) is feeding a squirrel with a small bite he holds out towards it in his hand.]
:Valentine: Ender's up there saving the world, but down here it's falling apart politically. What can we do?

:[Peter turns towards and sits down, leaning back on one hand. Valentine sits up in a similar position. Her hair looks like a mix between Megan and Hair Bun Girls hair. The squirrel behind Peter is bending over and has vomited the food up again. However, it looks more like Peter threw some food for it, that it is now eating from the ground.]
:Peter: I know — we get on the nets and anonymously post political opinions. People reading our articles will see our intelligence, recognize how clear and logical our arguments are, and insist that we be put in charge, so we can fix everything!
:Valentine: Brilliant!

:[Beneath the first two panel is large panel displaying a blog page. The background is light gray and then there are four white rectangular sections with rounded corners.]
:[There is a heading in the top central section:]
:<big><big>'''Locke'''</big></big>
:<big>Powered by Wordpress</big>

:[Below is the largest section, which extends below the panel. It has a scroll bar to the right which is partly scrolled down. The last sentence of a post can be seen at the top, with a time stamp below. Then follows the heading of a new post and the first line of this, which is partly cut off at the bottom of the panel:]
:which is why we must reach out to the Russian leadership.
::Posted at 3:15AM by Locke
::Comments (0)
:<big>'''The Problem with China'''</big>
:In recent months much has been made of

:[To the right is two sidebars. The top one shows recent posts:]
:Recent posts:
:>> A few thoughts on...
::Comments (0)
:>> Russian Aggression...
::Comments (1)
:>> Trade policy and the...
::Comments (0)
:>> And one more thing...
::Comments (0)
:>> Everyone's wrong about...
::Comments (1)

:[Below this is list of links to other websites, this section also extends below the panel. The second link is partly cut off at the bottom of the panel, so it is not possible to see that this is probably also underlined:]
:Blogroll:
:>> Demosthenes
:>> FiveThirtyEight

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]] 
[[Category:Comics featuring Nate Silver]]
[[Category:Ender's Game]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Internet]]

635: Locke and Demosthenes

2016-03-09T02:24:41Z

Figvh: /* Transcript */ grammar

{{comic
| number = 635
| date = September 11, 2009
| title = Locke and Demosthenes
| image = locke_and_demosthenes.png
| titletext = Dear Peter Wiggin: This letter is to inform you that you have received enough up votes on your reddit comments to become president of the world. Please be at the UN tomorrow at 8:00 sharp.}}

==Explanation==
This comic re-imagines a scene from {{w|Ender's Game}}, by {{w|Orson Scott Card}}, this is shown in the first two panels depicting the siblings '''Locke and Demosthenes''', as [[Cueball]] and the girl. Their real names are Peter and Valentine Wiggin (and these first names are used in the [http://xkcd.com/635/info.0.json official transcript] on xkcd). In the book these two kids blogs on their worlds version of the internet to gain extreme political influence. Below is a description from the book:

'''Spoiler alert!''' 
In the book Ender is an above-average-intelligence boy who is selected to become a potential leader of Earth's "Defense" Forces in the event of another {{w|Formics|Bugger}} invasion (later re-titled the Formic invasions). Meanwhile, Ender's two older siblings, Peter and Valentine decide to save the world from itself. They do this by asserting themselves as wise demagogues who comment on political events on what are known as the "free nets" which are nets open to comment by anyone in the world. They choose pseudonyms to write under, as no one would take the words of children seriously, they choose Locke (Peter's pseudonym), and Demosthenes (Valentine's) and begin work. Eventually they gain enough respect to be invited to participate in moderated political debates in the higher class nets. By the end of the book, Peter has become the leader of the world, as Valentine runs away with Ender to a planet formerly inhabited by Buggers to live out their lives in peace.
 '''End spoiler alert!'''

Below the scene we see part of Locke/Peter's blog. The whole thing is eerily reminiscent of what blogging has become, without the becoming-the-head-of-government outcome, obviously. [[Randall]] is suggesting that if the book was set with today's technology, Locke and Demosthenes would be getting extremely low exposure with their wordpress blogs as evidenced by the 0 comments on each post.

In the bottom right corner there are links to other blogs. One is for Demosthenes, but the other is for {{w|FiveThirtyEight}} a real political blog that was founded by {{w|Nate Silver}} in 2008, more than a year before this comic was released. It was still owned by Nate in 2009 the year of this comics release but 2010 the blog became a licensed feature of The {{w|New York Times}} online and in July 2013, {{w|ESPN}} announced that it would become the owner. The blog takes its name from the number of electors in the United States electoral college: 538. It is a website that focuses on opinion poll analysis, politics, economics, and sports blogging. Nate Silver has been [[:Category:Comics featuring Nate Silver|referenced]], several times in xkcd, though mainly in the title text, before this comic for instance in [[500: Election]].

The title text uses Locke's full name Peter Wiggin, and is formed as a short letter that sarcastically informs him that he has become the president of the world (a futuristic title). He is told that he should meet tomorrow 8:00 sharp at the {{w|united nations}} (UN) headquarters. Not a normal tone to use when talking to the president... Also note that the note is addressed to "Peter" rather than "Locke"; Peter's attempt to remain anonymous has failed miserably. The most ironic part of the title text is that Peter got the presidential post because he received enough [https://www.reddit.com/wiki/voting up votes] on his {{w|reddit}} comments!

If you happen to be wondering about the squirrel vomiting after it ate the food (see transcript), Peter Wiggin is portrayed as a sadistic sociopath. There is a scene in the book where Valentine stumbles across a skinned squirrel still twitching in pain.

Both [[:Category:Ender's Game|Ender's Game]] and [[:Category:Squirrels|Squirrels]] has been references on a few occasions in xkcd.

==Transcript==
:[The "real" names and the fact that the squirrel is vomiting comes from the official [http://xkcd.com/635/info.0.json transcript] on xkcd.]

:[Valentine (i.e. Demosthenes, with long dark hair), is laying on her back on the ground looking up at the sky with her hands behind her head. Peter (i.e Locke, looking like Cueball) is feeding a squirrel with a small bite he holds out towards it in his hand.]
:Valentine: Ender's up there saving the world, but down here it's falling apart politically. What can we do?

:[Peter turns towards and sits down, leaning back on one hand. Valentine sits up in a similar position. Her hair looks like a mix between Megan and Hair Bun Girls hair. The squirrel behind Peter is bending over and has vomited the food up again. However it looks more like Peter threw more food for it, that it is now eating from the ground.]
:Peter: I know — we get on the nets and anonymously post political opinions. People reading our articles will see our intelligence, recognize how clear and logical our arguments are, and insist that we be put in charge, so we can fix everything!
:Valentine: Brilliant!

:[Beneath the first two panel is large panel displaying a blog page. The background is light gray and then there are four white rectangular sections with rounded corners.]
:[There is a heading in the top central section:]
:<big><big>'''Locke'''</big></big>
:<big>Powered by Wordpress</big>

:[Below is the largest section, which extends below the panel. It has a scroll bar to the right which is partly scrolled down. The last sentence of a post can be seen at the top, with a time stamp below. Then follows the heading of a new post and the first line of this, which is partly cut off at the bottom of the panel:]
:which is why we must reach out to the Russian leadership.
::Posted at 3:15AM by Locke
::Comments (0)
:<big>'''The Problem with China'''</big>
:In recent months much has been made of

:[To the right is two sidebars. The top one shows recent posts:]
:Recent posts:
:>> A few thoughts on...
::Comments (0)
:>> Russian Aggression...
::Comments (1)
:>> Trade policy and the...
::Comments (0)
:>> And one more thing...
::Comments (0)
:>> Everyone's wrong about...
::Comments (1)

:[Below this is list of links to other websites, this section also extends below the panel. The second link is partly cut off at the bottom of the panel, so it is not possible to see that this is probably also underlined:]
:Blogroll:
:>> Demosthenes
:>> FiveThirtyEight

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]] 
[[Category:Comics featuring Nate Silver]]
[[Category:Ender's Game]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Internet]]

861: Wisdom Teeth

2016-02-13T12:59:57Z

Figvh: /* Transcript */ the light grey armour bars indicate a players armour

{{comic
| number = 861
| date = February 16, 2011
| title = Wisdom Teeth
| image = wisdom_teeth.png
| titletext = I heard the general anesthesia drugs can cause amnesia, so when I woke up mid-extraction I started taking notes on my hand so I'd remember things later. I managed 'AWAKE BUT EVERYTHING OK' before the dental assistant managed to find and confiscate all my pens.
}}

==Explanation==

{{w|Wisdom teeth}}, as many people are no doubt {{w|Wisdom teeth#Post-extraction problems|painfully aware}}, are the third set of molars found in humans. Because human jaws are smaller than ape jaws, most of us don't have room for a third set of molars, and the teeth become impacted so they grow straight into the other teeth, requiring a painful, debilitating procedure to remove them.

Because recovering from dental surgery often entails a period of rest following the operation and the use of {{w|painkillers|prescription painkillers}} (which have a tendency to make a person go a little loopy), [[Cueball]] prepares to play Minecraft for the entire time. {{w|Minecraft}} is a PC game known for its addictive qualities; the game itself primarily revolves around a three-dimensional world in which the goal of the player is centered on the aspects of structural creation using blocks found in the environment and the creation of different materials for use in building these structures. Despite its addictive nature, the game doesn't provide the player with a goal, so most people take to building lots of nifty stuff, such as large cities, computers made from the game's built-in automation mechanics, massive scale replicas of Earth, etc.

While intoxicated with painkillers, Cueball has instead opted to flatten an entire continent and sort it into layers (by type of block, presumably). While there's no real indication of how big the continent is as Minecraft worlds are randomly generated, sea level in Minecraft is at Y level 62, which means he sorted at least 63 layers of a continent large enough to be sufficiently developed, so it is clear that this task would take a lot of time. Collecting a block in Minecraft takes a certain minimum amount of time, depending on the block type, so even if he did everything as fast as he possibly could there's a substantial lower bound.

Ironically, in the second panel [[Megan]] says she'll set Cueball up on her server, which indicates she probably uses a whitelist to secure the server from griefers who might destroy structures created by others, not expecting that Cueball would do exactly that. The last panel simply illustrates that painkillers tend to make one loopy.

The title text refers to people waking up during surgery. Because anesthesia requires a lot of careful calibration and dosage - there's a reason anesthesiologists are paid hundreds of dollars an hour to be there, after all - it's possible to sometimes get it wrong, resulting in the patient waking up in the middle of the surgery. The three most important parts of anesthetics used for surgery are an analgesic (blocks pain), a sedative (puts you to sleep), and a paralytic (keeps you from moving). The worst-case scenario that most people hear about is when the analgesic and sedative are under-dosed, but the paralytic is correct, leaving the person awake, able to feel pain, but unable to alert the surgeons that anything is wrong. As a result, some countries and medical institutions have passed laws requiring surgeons to monitor brain activity so that these problems can be quickly remedied. The situation the title text is describing, with both the sedative and paralytic wearing out (leaving the person able to write notes), would be quite unlikely. As for confiscating all the pens, it was probably just to keep the patient from disturbing the procedure while the anesthesiologist corrected the dosage.

==Transcript==
:Cueball, on phone: Hey! Know how you've been bugging me to play Minecraft for the past year? I'm game.
:Megan, on phone: But you said you didn't want to "get hooked and spend days on end moving virtual cubes around while sitting motionless." What changed?

:Cueball, on phone: I'm having my wisdom teeth out, and I'll be useless and doped up on painkillers for the next few days, so that actually sounds like the perfect distraction.
:Megan, on phone: Oh. I'll set you up on our server!

:72 hours later...
:[Megan sitting at computer.]
:Megan, on phone: Hey — starting to feel better? Enjoying the game? Let's see what you've... What the hell? Where ''IS'' everything?

:[View of a Minecraft screen showing a vast empty expanse of land. In Cueball's hotbar is, from left to right, an stone pickaxe, sword, and shovel, seven feathers, 42 torches, a non-enchanted bow, a blank space, 64 blocks of stone and a clock. He has full health and 15 armor points.]
:Megan, offscreen: ...You made the entire continent perfectly flat?
:Cueball, offscreen: And sorted it into layers.
:Megan, offscreen: ...
:Cueball, offscreen: I feel good about things. This is a good game.

:[Cueball sitting on the floor at his laptop, bleeding from the mouth, surrounded by bloody wadded-up tissues and holding a bottle of medication.]
:Megan, on phone: ...What exactly is in the painkillers they gave you?
:Cueball, woozy: I can't read the label because I'm a hologram.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Video games]]

861: Wisdom Teeth

2016-02-13T12:57:46Z

Figvh: Undo revision 111615 by Figvh (talk)

{{comic
| number = 861
| date = February 16, 2011
| title = Wisdom Teeth
| image = wisdom_teeth.png
| titletext = I heard the general anesthesia drugs can cause amnesia, so when I woke up mid-extraction I started taking notes on my hand so I'd remember things later. I managed 'AWAKE BUT EVERYTHING OK' before the dental assistant managed to find and confiscate all my pens.
}}

==Explanation==

{{w|Wisdom teeth}}, as many people are no doubt {{w|Wisdom teeth#Post-extraction problems|painfully aware}}, are the third set of molars found in humans. Because human jaws are smaller than ape jaws, most of us don't have room for a third set of molars, and the teeth become impacted so they grow straight into the other teeth, requiring a painful, debilitating procedure to remove them.

Because recovering from dental surgery often entails a period of rest following the operation and the use of {{w|painkillers|prescription painkillers}} (which have a tendency to make a person go a little loopy), [[Cueball]] prepares to play Minecraft for the entire time. {{w|Minecraft}} is a PC game known for its addictive qualities; the game itself primarily revolves around a three-dimensional world in which the goal of the player is centered on the aspects of structural creation using blocks found in the environment and the creation of different materials for use in building these structures. Despite its addictive nature, the game doesn't provide the player with a goal, so most people take to building lots of nifty stuff, such as large cities, computers made from the game's built-in automation mechanics, massive scale replicas of Earth, etc.

While intoxicated with painkillers, Cueball has instead opted to flatten an entire continent and sort it into layers (by type of block, presumably). While there's no real indication of how big the continent is as Minecraft worlds are randomly generated, sea level in Minecraft is at Y level 62, which means he sorted at least 63 layers of a continent large enough to be sufficiently developed, so it is clear that this task would take a lot of time. Collecting a block in Minecraft takes a certain minimum amount of time, depending on the block type, so even if he did everything as fast as he possibly could there's a substantial lower bound.

Ironically, in the second panel [[Megan]] says she'll set Cueball up on her server, which indicates she probably uses a whitelist to secure the server from griefers who might destroy structures created by others, not expecting that Cueball would do exactly that. The last panel simply illustrates that painkillers tend to make one loopy.

The title text refers to people waking up during surgery. Because anesthesia requires a lot of careful calibration and dosage - there's a reason anesthesiologists are paid hundreds of dollars an hour to be there, after all - it's possible to sometimes get it wrong, resulting in the patient waking up in the middle of the surgery. The three most important parts of anesthetics used for surgery are an analgesic (blocks pain), a sedative (puts you to sleep), and a paralytic (keeps you from moving). The worst-case scenario that most people hear about is when the analgesic and sedative are under-dosed, but the paralytic is correct, leaving the person awake, able to feel pain, but unable to alert the surgeons that anything is wrong. As a result, some countries and medical institutions have passed laws requiring surgeons to monitor brain activity so that these problems can be quickly remedied. The situation the title text is describing, with both the sedative and paralytic wearing out (leaving the person able to write notes), would be quite unlikely. As for confiscating all the pens, it was probably just to keep the patient from disturbing the procedure while the anesthesiologist corrected the dosage.

==Transcript==
:Cueball, on phone: Hey! Know how you've been bugging me to play Minecraft for the past year? I'm game.
:Megan, on phone: But you said you didn't want to "get hooked and spend days on end moving virtual cubes around while sitting motionless." What changed?

:Cueball, on phone: I'm having my wisdom teeth out, and I'll be useless and doped up on painkillers for the next few days, so that actually sounds like the perfect distraction.
:Megan, on phone: Oh. I'll set you up on our server!

:72 hours later...
:[Megan sitting at computer.]
:Megan, on phone: Hey — starting to feel better? Enjoying the game? Let's see what you've... What the hell? Where ''IS'' everything?

:[View of a Minecraft screen showing a vast empty expanse of land. In Cueball's hotbar is, from left to right, an stone pickaxe, sword, and shovel, seven feathers, 42 torches, a non-enchanted bow, a blank space, 64 blocks of stone and a clock. He has full health and 5 armor points.]
:Megan, offscreen: ...You made the entire continent perfectly flat?
:Cueball, offscreen: And sorted it into layers.
:Megan, offscreen: ...
:Cueball, offscreen: I feel good about things. This is a good game.

:[Cueball sitting on the floor at his laptop, bleeding from the mouth, surrounded by bloody wadded-up tissues and holding a bottle of medication.]
:Megan, on phone: ...What exactly is in the painkillers they gave you?
:Cueball, woozy: I can't read the label because I'm a hologram.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Video games]]

861: Wisdom Teeth

2016-02-13T12:54:45Z

Figvh: /* Transcript */ number of armour points see discussion

{{comic
| number = 861
| date = February 16, 2011
| title = Wisdom Teeth
| image = wisdom_teeth.png
| titletext = I heard the general anesthesia drugs can cause amnesia, so when I woke up mid-extraction I started taking notes on my hand so I'd remember things later. I managed 'AWAKE BUT EVERYTHING OK' before the dental assistant managed to find and confiscate all my pens.
}}

==Explanation==

{{w|Wisdom teeth}}, as many people are no doubt {{w|Wisdom teeth#Post-extraction problems|painfully aware}}, are the third set of molars found in humans. Because human jaws are smaller than ape jaws, most of us don't have room for a third set of molars, and the teeth become impacted so they grow straight into the other teeth, requiring a painful, debilitating procedure to remove them.

Because recovering from dental surgery often entails a period of rest following the operation and the use of {{w|painkillers|prescription painkillers}} (which have a tendency to make a person go a little loopy), [[Cueball]] prepares to play Minecraft for the entire time. {{w|Minecraft}} is a PC game known for its addictive qualities; the game itself primarily revolves around a three-dimensional world in which the goal of the player is centered on the aspects of structural creation using blocks found in the environment and the creation of different materials for use in building these structures. Despite its addictive nature, the game doesn't provide the player with a goal, so most people take to building lots of nifty stuff, such as large cities, computers made from the game's built-in automation mechanics, massive scale replicas of Earth, etc.

While intoxicated with painkillers, Cueball has instead opted to flatten an entire continent and sort it into layers (by type of block, presumably). While there's no real indication of how big the continent is as Minecraft worlds are randomly generated, sea level in Minecraft is at Y level 62, which means he sorted at least 63 layers of a continent large enough to be sufficiently developed, so it is clear that this task would take a lot of time. Collecting a block in Minecraft takes a certain minimum amount of time, depending on the block type, so even if he did everything as fast as he possibly could there's a substantial lower bound.

Ironically, in the second panel [[Megan]] says she'll set Cueball up on her server, which indicates she probably uses a whitelist to secure the server from griefers who might destroy structures created by others, not expecting that Cueball would do exactly that. The last panel simply illustrates that painkillers tend to make one loopy.

The title text refers to people waking up during surgery. Because anesthesia requires a lot of careful calibration and dosage - there's a reason anesthesiologists are paid hundreds of dollars an hour to be there, after all - it's possible to sometimes get it wrong, resulting in the patient waking up in the middle of the surgery. The three most important parts of anesthetics used for surgery are an analgesic (blocks pain), a sedative (puts you to sleep), and a paralytic (keeps you from moving). The worst-case scenario that most people hear about is when the analgesic and sedative are under-dosed, but the paralytic is correct, leaving the person awake, able to feel pain, but unable to alert the surgeons that anything is wrong. As a result, some countries and medical institutions have passed laws requiring surgeons to monitor brain activity so that these problems can be quickly remedied. The situation the title text is describing, with both the sedative and paralytic wearing out (leaving the person able to write notes), would be quite unlikely. As for confiscating all the pens, it was probably just to keep the patient from disturbing the procedure while the anesthesiologist corrected the dosage.

==Transcript==
:Cueball, on phone: Hey! Know how you've been bugging me to play Minecraft for the past year? I'm game.
:Megan, on phone: But you said you didn't want to "get hooked and spend days on end moving virtual cubes around while sitting motionless." What changed?

:Cueball, on phone: I'm having my wisdom teeth out, and I'll be useless and doped up on painkillers for the next few days, so that actually sounds like the perfect distraction.
:Megan, on phone: Oh. I'll set you up on our server!

:72 hours later...
:[Megan sitting at computer.]
:Megan, on phone: Hey — starting to feel better? Enjoying the game? Let's see what you've... What the hell? Where ''IS'' everything?

:[View of a Minecraft screen showing a vast empty expanse of land. In Cueball's hotbar is, from left to right, an stone pickaxe, sword, and shovel, seven feathers, 42 torches, a non-enchanted bow, a blank space, 64 blocks of stone and a clock. He has full health and seven and a half armor points.]
:Megan, offscreen: ...You made the entire continent perfectly flat?
:Cueball, offscreen: And sorted it into layers.
:Megan, offscreen: ...
:Cueball, offscreen: I feel good about things. This is a good game.

:[Cueball sitting on the floor at his laptop, bleeding from the mouth, surrounded by bloody wadded-up tissues and holding a bottle of medication.]
:Megan, on phone: ...What exactly is in the painkillers they gave you?
:Cueball, woozy: I can't read the label because I'm a hologram.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Video games]]

861: Wisdom Teeth

2016-01-17T09:02:03Z

Figvh: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 861
| date = February 16, 2011
| title = Wisdom Teeth
| image = wisdom_teeth.png
| titletext = I heard the general anesthesia drugs can cause amnesia, so when I woke up mid-extraction I started taking notes on my hand so I'd remember things later. I managed 'AWAKE BUT EVERYTHING OK' before the dental assistant managed to find and confiscate all my pens.
}}

==Explanation==

{{w|Wisdom teeth}}, as many people are no doubt {{w|Wisdom teeth#Post-extraction problems|painfully aware}}, are the third set of molars found in humans. Because human jaws are smaller than ape jaws, most of us don't have room for a third set of molars, and the teeth become impacted so they grow straight into the other teeth, requiring a painful, debilitating procedure to remove them.

Because recovering from dental surgery often entails a period of rest following the operation and the use of {{w|painkillers|prescription painkillers}} (which have a tendency to make a person go a little loopy), [[Cueball]] prepares to play Minecraft for the entire time. {{w|Minecraft}} is a PC game known for its addictive qualities; the game itself primarily revolves around a three-dimensional world in which the goal of the player is centered on the aspects of structural creation using blocks found in the environment and the creation of different materials for use in building these structures. Despite its addictive nature, the game doesn't provide the player with a goal, so most people take to building lots of nifty stuff, such as large cities, computers made from the game's built-in automation mechanics, massive scale replicas of Earth, etc.

Due to the inhibitory effects of the painkillers, Cueball has instead opted to flatten an entire continent and sort it into layers (by type of block, presumably). While there's no real indication of how big the continent is as Minecraft worlds are randomly generated, sea level in Minecraft is at Y level 62, which means he sorted at least 63 layers of a continent large enough to be sufficiently developed, so it is clear that this task would take a lot of time. Collecting a block in Minecraft takes a certain minimum amount of time, depending on the block type, so even if he did everything as fast as he possibly could there's a substantial lower bound.

Ironically, in the second panel [[Megan]] says she'll set Cueball up on her server, which indicates she probably uses a whitelist to secure the server from griefers who might destroy structures created by others, not expecting that Cueball would do exactly that. The last panel simply illustrates that painkillers tend to make one loopy.

The title text refers to people waking up during surgery. Because anesthesia requires a lot of careful calibration and dosage - there's a reason anesthesiologists are paid hundreds of dollars an hour to be there, after all - it's possible to sometimes get it wrong, resulting in the patient waking up in the middle of the surgery. The three most important parts of anesthetics used for surgery are an analgesic (blocks pain), a sedative (puts you to sleep), and a paralytic (keeps you from moving). The worst-case scenario that most people hear about is when the analgesic and sedative are under-dosed, but the paralytic is correct, leaving the person awake, able to feel pain, but unable to alert the surgeons that anything is wrong. As a result, some countries and medical institutions have passed laws requiring surgeons to monitor brain activity so that these problems can be quickly remedied. The situation the title text is describing, with both the sedative and paralytic wearing out (leaving the person able to write notes), would be quite unlikely. As for confiscating all the pens, it was probably just to keep the patient from disturbing the procedure while the anesthesiologist corrected the dosage.

==Transcript==
:Cueball, on phone: Hey! Know how you've been bugging me to play Minecraft for the past year? I'm game.
:Megan, on phone: But you said you didn't want to "get hooked and spend days on end moving virtual cubes around while sitting motionless." What changed?

:Cueball, on phone: I'm having my wisdom teeth out, and I'll be useless and doped up on painkillers for the next few days, so that actually sounds like the perfect distraction.
:Megan, on phone: Oh. I'll set you up on our server!

:72 hours later...
:[Megan sitting at computer.]
:Megan, on phone: Hey — starting to feel better? Enjoying the game? Let's see what you've... What the hell? Where ''IS'' everything?

:[View of a Minecraft screen showing a vast empty expanse of land. In Cueball's hotbar is, from left to right, a red-and-white pickaxe, sword, and shovel, seven feathers, 42 torches, a red-and-white bow, a blank space, 64 stone and a clock. He has full health and 7 and a half armor points.]
:Megan, offscreen: ...You made the entire continent perfectly flat?
:Cueball, offscreen: And sorted it into layers.
:Megan, offscreen: ...
:Cueball, offscreen: I feel good about things. This is a good game.

:[Cueball sitting on the floor at his laptop, bleeding from the mouth, surrounded by bloody wadded-up tissues and holding a bottle of medication.]
:Megan, on phone: ...What exactly is in the painkillers they gave you?
:Cueball, woozy: I can't read the label because I'm a hologram.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Video games]]

Talk:1627: Woosh

2016-01-08T07:35:47Z

Figvh:

Looking for a joke that isn't there sounds a lot like [http://xkcd.com/559 xkcd.com/559]. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.2.140|162.158.2.140]] 05:43, 8 January 2016 (UTC)
Woooosh! [[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.181|108.162.245.181]] 05:48, 8 January 2016 (UTC)

Woosh
If it was a joke video that was never meant to be real to begin with and the commenter didn't realize this, then woosh would actually make sense [[User:Figvh|Figvh]] ([[User talk:Figvh|talk]])

1037: Umwelt

2015-12-16T10:44:13Z

Figvh: /* Chemo Support */

{{comic
| number = 1037
| date = April 1, 2012
| title = Umwelt
| image = umwelt_the_void.jpg
| titletext = Umwelt is the idea that because their senses pick up on different things, different animals in the same ecosystem actually live in very different worlds. Everything about you shapes the world you inhabit--from your ideology to your glasses prescription to your web browser.
}}
<div class="toclimit-3" style="float:right; margin-left: 10px;">__TOC__</div>

==Explanation==
An {{w|Umwelt}}, as the title text explains, is the idea that one's entire way of thinking is dependent on their surroundings. Thus, this {{w|April Fools}} comic changes based on the browser, location, or referrer. Thus, what the viewer is viewing the comic on, where they live, or where they came from determines which comic they actually see. As a result, there are actually multiple comics that went up on April Fools' Day, although only one is seen.
(Fun Fact: the German word "Umwelt" does not mean anything vaguely similar; it translates in all contexts almost exactly as "environment".)

Information about how the wide variety of data was collected and credit for the viewers who contributed can be found [http://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/rnst4/april_fools_xkcd_changing_comic/ here].

This comic was released on April 1 even though that was [[:Category:Sunday comics|a Sunday]] (only the third comic to be released on a Sunday). But it was only due to the April Fool joke, as it did replace the comic that would have been scheduled for Monday, April 2. The next comic was first released on Wednesday, April 4.

===The Void===
[[File:umwelt the void.jpg]]

If the device or browser you are using does not support Javascript, you will simply see a static image of a white swirl on a dark background.

Possible reference to The Ring (http://imgur.com/wlGmm), as though to suggest that using an alternative browser is dismal and horrific.

Davean (xkcd's sysadmin): "[This] comic isn't available everywhere and it can come up i[n] some situation[s] only for recognized browsers."

Browser: Alternative Browser

===Aurora===
[[File:umwelt aurora.png]]

One could interpret that since Megan didn't go out and therefore missed seeing the Aurora, the main character lied. That way, she wouldn't have felt sad that she missed out.

One might also believe that since xkcd is normally a black and white comic, Cueball is colorblind and didn't see anything of interest to him.

This image changed based on the size of the browser window including different panels at different sizes.

Locations: Canada, Boston, Maine, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Texas, Minnesota, Norway, Denmark

===Snake===
[[File:umwelt snake composite 1024.png]]
[[:File:umwelt snake composite.png|Full size]]

The joke here is the extreme length of snakes. The world's longest snake is the python, the longest ever being 33 feet or approx. 10 meters. The red and blue circles refer to the hit game {{w|Portal}}.
There is also a reference to the book "The Little Prince" in the second panel.

Also, the number and content of the panels changes depending on the size of your browser window.

This image changed based on the size of the browser window including different panels at different sizes.

Specific AltText for this image: Umwelt is the idea that because their senses pick up on different things, different animals in the same ecosystem actually live in very different worlds. Everything about you shapes the world you inhabit -from your ideology to your glasses prescription to your browser window size.

Location: Texas (on Chrome Version 33.0.1750.154 m), New Jersey, California (on Chrome Version 39.0.2171.95), Maryland

===Black Hat===
[[File:umwelt tortoise 1024.png]]
[[:File:umwelt tortoise.png|Full size]]

An analyst attempts to psychoanalyze [[Black Hat|Black Hat's]] [[72: Classhole|classhole]] tendencies. The joke here is that the turtle has actually been turned over and neither sees helping it as a priority. It's a reference to the Voight-Kampff test used in the movie Blade Runner (1982) to identify replicants.

Location: Seems to appear mostly in "other countries" — those without location-specific comics.

===Too Quiet===
[[File:umwelt too quiet 1024.png]]
[[:File:umwelt too quiet.png|Full size]]

A reference to {{w|Jurassic Park (film)|Jurassic Park}} which has been [[87: Velociraptors|constantly]] [[135: Substitute|referred]] [[1110: Click and Drag|to]] [[155: Search History|before]] [[758: Raptor Fences|in]] this comic.

Also referencing the film {{w|2 Fast 2 Furious|2 Fast 2 Furious}}, an entertaining, yet intellectually unprovoking sequel in a popular film franchise, which is aimed at teenagers and young adults, prompting the blunt response from the stickman. The fact that Steve would use such a cliché {{w|2000s (decade)|noughties}} movie term in such an intense moment, and the subsequent curse, is the joke in this comic.

Location: short version — iPhone 5c Safari browser in Texas, iPhone 5 Chrome Browser in Minnesota, long version - Google Chrome browser in Indiana, Windows 8 Laptop

===Pond===
[[File:umwelt pond mobile.png]][[File:umwelt pond wide.png]]

Two different versions showed, the narrower version for mobile devices.

Location: The Netherlands and various other countries.

===Galaxies===
[[File:umwelt galaxies 1024.jpg]]
[[:File:umwelt galaxies.jpg|Full size]]

Megan is distracted from her conversation with [[Cueball]] by realizing that the space behind his head, from her vantage point, contains millions of galaxies. This is similar to an [http://nssdc.gsfc.nasa.gov/image/astro/hst_deep_field.jpg incredible photograph] taken by the Hubble Telescope, in which a tiny dark area of space in fact contained numerous galaxies.

The title text is an imaginative leap from this scenario: that the galaxies would be up to no good once Cueball is turned away from them. This is presumably a reference to [http://www.mariowiki.com/boo Boo], an enemy from certain Mario games who moves toward Mario only when Mario is facing away from Boo.

This comic was only reported once... the intended environmental context is a mystery.

Location: unknown

===xkcd Gold===
[[File:umwelt xkcd gold.png]]

This is probably a reference to the 4chan Gold Account, an implementation on 4chan that does not actually exist, and is usually used to trick newcomers into revealing their credit card numbers. The joke is that "Gold Account" users can supposedly block other users from viewing images they have posted. The fifth panel is probably a reference to Beecock, a notorious set of shocker images. 4chan's moderators have been known to give out "beecock bans" or "/z/ bans" to particularly annoying users, which redirect the user to a page containing beecock and the text "OH NO THE BOARD IS GONE".

Referrer: 4chan

===Yo Mama===
[[File:umwelt dog ballast.png]]

Possible reference to Kurt Vonnegut Jr.'s "{{w|Harrison Bergeron}}."

Possibly a veiled criticism of Facebook. This could be slightly rewritten as: "This comic takes place in a dystopian future where the government is afraid of dissent, so it tracks everyone at all times, and some people privately doubt the government, but not enough to stop submitting information to Facebook. But that dystopian future is now."

Referrer: Facebook

===Reddit===
[[File:umwelt reddit.png]]

Reference to referencing, because Reddit, as a referring site, likes references to its referencing in its references.

This comic also features recursive imagery similar to [[688: Self-Description|Self Description]] where the second panel embeds the entire comic within itself.

Referrer: Reddit

===Buns and Hot dogs===
[[File:umwelt somethingawful.jpg]]

This is a reference to the question "Why do hot dogs come in packages of 6 while buns come in packages of 8?"

Referrer: SomethingAwful, Questionable Content, & MetaFilter

===Twitter===
[[File:umwelt twitter.jpg]]

A summary of the content "typically" found on Twitter.

In the tweet feed, there are three tweets about some podcast on the top, followed by the tweet containing link they clicked on to get to the comic, tweets about Rob Delaney, unspecified passive-aggressive tweets, and a tweet from [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horse_ebooks Horse Ebooks] retweeted by one of the users the reader follows.

On the left, the topmost dialog, with profile information, shows that the user has posted 1,302 tweets, but only follows 171 people and has even fewer followers, at a measly 48. This is marked with a sad face, implying that the user wants more followers.

Below that is the "who to follow" dialog, which is written up as consisting of "assholes".

Below that is the "trending tags" dialog for the United States. It is full of tags about word games, tags about misogyny, and tags about Justin Bieber.

Below that is an unidentified dialog full of "stuff your eyes automatically ignore". And finally, on the bottom is the background colour, which is "a really pleasant blue".

Referrer: Twitter

===Wikipedia===
[[File:umwelt wikipedia wide.jpg]]
[[File:umwelt wikipedia mobile.png]]

The term {{w|Mile High Club}} (or MHC) is a slang term applied collectively to individuals who have had sexual intercourse while on board of an aircraft. Randall says that reading the news articles on it has distracted him from making that comic.

Two different versions shown, the narrower version (the single panel with all the text) for mobile devices.

Referrer: Wikipedia

===Google Chrome===
[[File:umwelt chrome1.jpg]]

{{w|Sergey Brin}} (born August 21, 1973) is an American computer scientist and Internet entrepreneur who, with Larry Page, co-founded Google, one of the most profitable Internet companies. As of 2013, his personal wealth was estimated to be $24.4 billion. Randall makes the joke that as the founder of Google, Brin's permission would be needed to use Google Chrome. Because there are millions of people who use Google, it is likely that at least some of the time Brin would be asleep, thus he would need to be woken.

Browser: Chrome

===Chrome/Firefox===
[[File:umwelt chrome2.png]]

Mozilla {{w|Firefox}} is a free and open-source web browser developed for Windows, OS X, and Linux, with a mobile version for Android, by the Mozilla Foundation and its subsidiary, the Mozilla Corporation. Cueball is complaining about {{w|Google Chrome}}, to which [[Ponytail]] replies that there is an {{w|add-on}} that fixes what he is complaining about. When questioned, she replies that the add-on is Firefox, which isn't an add-on at all and is instead a different browser.

Browser: Chrome

===Google Chrome-2===
[[File:umwelt chrome3.png]]

This panel references Google Chrome's error screen, which shows a puzzle piece. The comic humorously implies that Chrome is looking for that piece. However, the piece in question cannot possibly line up with any corner.

Browser: Chrome

===Mozilla Firefox Private Browsing===
[[File:umwelt firefox incognito.png]]

Another reference to crashing web browsers.

Browser: Firefox (Incognito only?)

===Internet Explorer===
[[File:umwelt ie.png]]

Yet another reference to crashing web browsers

Browser: Internet Explorer

===Maxthon===
[[File:umwelt maxthon.png]]

Browser: Maxthon

===Netscape Navigator===
[[File:umwelt netscape womanoctopus.png]]

[[File:umwelt netscape man.png]]

{{w|Netscape Navigator}} was a web browser popular in the 1990s.

Browser: Netscape

===Rockmelt===
[[File:umwelt rockmelt.png]]

{{w|Rockmelt}} is a social-media-based browser.

Reference to the gospel song {{w|Longing for Old Virginia: Their Complete Victor Recordings (1934)|"There's no hiding place down here" by The Carter Family}}, later covered by Stephen Stills.

:I run to the rock just to hide my face
:And the rocks cried out, no hiding place
:There's no hiding place down here

It may additionally be a reference to the ''Babylon 5'' episode "And the Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place," which featured the song.

Browser: Rockmelt

===Plugin Disabled===
[[File:umwelt plugin disabled.png]]

When the Google Chrome web browser does not have the required software (called a plug-in) to display a web page's content, it displays a puzzle piece icon and an error message. In this case, Chrome informs the user that the content is impossible to display.

Browser: Plugin (?) Disabled

===Corporate Networks===
[[File:umwelt corporate general.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate amazon chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate amazon firefox.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate amazon other.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate google chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate microsoft chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate microsoft firefox.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate microsoft other.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate nytimes chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate nytimes other.png]]

These error messages appear if the user is on a network owned by one of the corporations noted. The error message includes a warning against speaking on the company's behalf.

ISP: Corporate networks of Amazon, Google, Microsoft, NY Times

===Military===
[[File:umwelt military.png]]

[[Cueball]] assumes that anyone using a military network has an important job like watching for incoming missiles. He includes a thank-you to the user for their military service.

ISP: Military networks

===T-Mobile===
[[File:umwelt tmobile.png]]

Reference to T-Mobile's distinguishing feature of weaker coverage, in relation to other major providers.

ISP: T-Mobile

===Verizon and AT&T===
[[File:umwelt verizon.png]]

[[File:umwelt att.png]]

Reference to Verizon and AT&T's scandals/controversy regarding implementation of bandwidth caps.

ISP: Verizon and AT&T

===France===
[[File:umwelt france.jpg]]

A Google search of "French Military Victories" + 'I'm feeling lucky' used to direct to "did you mean: french military defeats" (due to a {{w|Google bomb}}), referencing a stereotype of the French:[http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/victories.html][http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blpic-frenchmilitaryvictories.htm][http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljokefrenchmilitaryhistory.htm]

Locations: France & Quebec

===Germany===
[[File:umwelt germany.png]]

This comic references the {{w|Berlin airlift#The start of the Berlin Airlift|Berlin Airlift}}, a relief measure for citizens in West Berlin (surrounded by East Germany) instituted by the Western Allies after World War II. In reality, the Western Allies flew a grand total of 500,000 tons of food over the Soviet blockade in planes. Randall puts a twist on this event by making it more fun: dropping supplies from a grand chairlift. The play on words is that "chairlift" rhymes with "airlift" and thus makes an easy substitution. The chair force is also a name that other service branches use to make fun of the air force.

Location: Germany

===Israel===
[[File:umwelt israel.png]]

Transcript:

בחורה: אמא, פגשתי בחור נהדר! אבל הוא לא יהודי.‏

...

רגע, מה את אומרת, "גם אנחנו לא"?‏

אני לגמרי מבולבלת.‏

(Translation from Hebrew)

Person: Mom, I met a great guy! But he's not Jewish. ...Wait, what do you mean "neither are we"? I'm completely confused.

A reference to the multiple use of the word Jewish to denote both a religious group and a nationality/ethnicity.

Location: Israel

===Carnot Cycle===
[[File:umwelt japan.png]]

A pun on "cycle"; a "{{w|Carnot cycle}}" is a thermodynamic cycle (e.g. refrigeration). Its efficiency depends on the temperature of the hot and cold 'reservoirs' in which it is operating. The icon on the side of the motorcycle resembles a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Carnot_cycle_p-V_diagram.svg graph of the Carnot cycle.]

Location: Japan

===UK===
[[File:umwelt uk.jpg]]

He worded this as though to imply that the UK is a state of the U.S., and an unimportant one at that, which pokes fun at the UK, creating a paradox (sort of).

Location: UK

===Blizzard===
[[File:umwelt disasters blizzard.png]]

This comic is aimed at the debate over whether earthquakes or blizzards are harsher conditions to live under.

For each location this displayed in, the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: Alabama, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Georgia, Halifax, Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, the Northeast, Ohio, Oklahoma, Ottawa, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Texas, Toronto, Tennessee, New York, Wisconsin

===Tornado===
[[File:umwelt disasters tornado.png]]

This comic is aimed at the debate over whether earthquakes or tornadoes are harsher conditions to live under.

For each location this displayed in the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: Alabama, Dallas, Illinois, Georgia, The Midwest, Missouri, Ohio, Oklahoma, Ottawa, Tennessee, Texas

===Hurricane===
[[File:umwelt disasters hurricane.png]]

This comic is aimed at the debate over whether earthquakes or hurricanes are harsher conditions to live under.

For each location this displayed in the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: D.C, Florida, Georgia, Houston, Miami, New Jersey, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia

===Lake Diver Killer===
[[File:umwelt lake diver.png]]

This comic shows a news reporter standing in front of a lake. She is reporting on a serial killer who targets divers. As more divers are sent in to investigate and/or search for bodies, more divers go missing and are presumably murdered.

Locations: Bay Areas

Location: Vermont showed an image specifically referencing Lake Champlain

===Lincoln Memorial===
[[File:umwelt lincoln memorial.png]]

Locations: Illinois & Washington D.C.

===Helicopter Hunting===
[[File:umwelt helicoptor.png]]

In Alaska, governments and individuals have {{w|Wolf hunting#North America 2|shot wolves en masse from helicopters}} in an attempt to artificially inflate populations of game, such as moose and caribou, to make hunting them easier. This is opposed by many, as the game populations are not endangered (thus, this threatens ecological balance); wolves are a small threat to livestock in North America; most of the wolf body —including meat and bones— goes wasted as they are sought mainly for their pelts.

Location: Alaska

===Newspaper===
[[File:umwelt life scientists.png]][[File:umwelt life rit.png]][[File:umwelt life umass.png]]

Creating new life has long been a well understood process, in a lab or otherwise.

Location: Various

Specific versions appeared for RIT and UMass Amherst

===Robot Paul Revere===
[[File:umwelt paul revere.png]]

Combination of the legend of {{w|Paul Revere#"Midnight Ride"|Paul Revere}} and computer binary.

Location: Boston

===Counting Cards===

All four colleges in this series are in Massachusetts and, being similar, in pairs, rival each other to some extent (Harvard-MIT, and Smith-Wellesley). The comic contains a reference to the {{w|MIT Blackjack Team}}, which entered popular culture via the {{w|21 (2008 film)|film 21}}, and a possible reference to Orwell's book '1984' and/or {{w|Chain of Command (Star Trek: The Next Generation)|popular homage to it via Star Trek}}: "There are four lights."[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChYIm6MW39k]

Bonus: The thought-gears in panel 3 are spinning against each other.

Location: Harvard

[[File:umwelt counting cards harvard.png]]

Location: MIT

[[File:umwelt counting cards mit.png]]

"Course 15s" at MIT are the business major students, often mocked for taking a less-rigorous program.

Location: Smith

[[File:umwelt counting cards smith.png]]

Location: Wellesley

[[File:umwelt counting cards wellesley.png]]

Both Wellesley and Smith are all-women colleges.

===Giant Box Trap===
[[File:umwelt box trap.png]]

Randall got his undergrad in Physics at the {{w|Christopher Newport University}}, and was scheduled to return shortly to give a talk.

Location: Christopher Newport University

===Chemo Support===
[[File:umwelt chemo.jpg]]
[[Cueball]] has shaved his head in support of people going through {{w|chemotherapy}} but as he is always depicted as a stick figure with no hair who can tell.

Randall's now-wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, and apparently DFCI is where they've been spending much of their time.

Location: Dana-Farber Cancer Institute

===Reviews===
[[File:reviews.png]]

The previous strip appears twice when using [[wikipedia:Tor (anonymity network)|Tor]].

Browser: Any using Tor, and reports of seeing it on a Kindle Fire HD

==Transcript==
:[Note to courageous readers- The transcript has been reordered in the order in which the comics appear in the picture and appropriate names have been given.]

:'''The Void'''
:[An epic void with a bright light shining right on you.]

:'''Aurora'''
:[Cueball heading out past Megan comfortably sitting in front of a desk.]
:Cueball: Apparently there's a solar flare that's causing some Great Aurorae. CBC says they may even be visible here! Wanna drive out to see?
:Megan: Hockey's on.
:Cueball: Ok. Later.

:[An expansive, marvelous image of emerald green northern lights, floating down through the sky.]

:Megan: See anything?
:Cueball: No, just clouds.
:Megan: Not surprised.

:'''Aurora-US'''
:[Cueball heading out past Megan comfortably sitting in front of a desk.]
:Cueball: Apparently there's a solar storm causing northern lights over Canada. CNN say they might even be visible {Options: "As Far South As Us", "Here in Boston", "Maine", "Ohio", "Oregon", "New York"}! Wanna drive out to see?
:Megan: It's cold out.
:Cueball: Ok. Later.

:[An expansive, marvelous image of emerald green northern lights, floating down through the sky.]

:Megan: See anything?
:Cueball: No, just clouds.
:Megan: Not surprised.

:'''Snake'''
:[Two people standing next to each other. Megan is holding the head end of a snake. Depending on the width of your browser, the snake is: three frames, the third of which has a little bit of a bump; the first frame has a human-size bump, the second has a third person looking at the snake, and the third has the snake going though two Portals; a squirrel and the human-size bump in the first frame, a ring next to the third person in the second frame, and Beret Guy riding the snake in front of the portal; or The squirrel, a fourth person within the snake being coiled, and the human bump in the first frame, the ring, a fifth person in love, and the third person in the second frame, Beret Guy and the portal in the third frame, and the same two people in the fourth frame.]

:Megan: I found a snake, but then I forgot to stop.

:'''Black hat'''
:[Two people sitting at a desk. One is Black Hat. The other is an analyst. Black Hat has a number of terminals attached to his head.]
:Analyst: You come across a tortoise in the desert. You flip it over. It struggles to right itself. You watch. You're not helping. Why is that?

:Black Hat: It '''knows''' what it did.

:[View of the entire scene, with said turtle off in the distance on its back and trying to right itself.]

:'''Too quiet'''
:[A group of four scale down a wall into a field in the middle of the night. They walk off single-file.]
:Person 1: It's quiet.

:Person 3: Yeah - *Too* quiet.

:[A Velociraptor is off in the distance, following the group.]
:Person 4: Yeah - too *too* quiet.

:Person 2: Yeah - 2quiet2furious.
:Person 1: Fuck off, Steve.

:'''Pond'''
:[A landscape showing a pond, some reeds, and a set of mountains off in the distance.]

:'''Galaxies'''
:[A trio of galaxies.]
:Galaxy 1: He's not looking!
:Galaxy 3: Let's get him!
:[Lines draw in illustrating the eye-line of one of a pair of people.]
:Cueball: So he said he didn't get the text, but c'mon, he *never* misses texts. Right? ..hello?
:Megan: I'm just staring at your head freaked out by the fact that there are millions of galaxies *directly behind it*.

:'''xkcd Gold'''
:[Cueball holding bat.]

:Cueball: Sorry, but this comic

:[Cueball starts to wind up.]

:Cueball: requires

:[Cueball prepares to strike with bat.]

:Cueball: XKCD

:[Cueball swings at a beehive.]
:GOLD

:[Penis Bees fly out of the beehive.]

:'''Yo mamma'''
:[Cueball yells at a friend.]
:Cueball: Oh yeah? Well you mama's so ''cynical'', her only dog ballast is a ''leash''!
:(This comic takes place in a dystopian future where the government is afraid dogs can hover, so it requires them to wear weights at all times, and some people privately doubt the government, but not enough to stop buying dog weights.)

:'''Reddit'''
:Five seconds ago:
:[You sitting in front of a desk, reading a reddit thread.]
:You: Oh, hey, reddit has a link to some XKCD april fools comic.

:Now: [An image of the xkcd comic page.]
:Five seconds from now:

:You: ..hey

:30 seconds from now:
:[DANCE PARTY!]

:'''Buns and Hot dogs'''
:Cueball: What I wanna know is why do hot dogs come in packages of six while buns come in these huge sacks of ash and blood from which "Ave Maria" is faintly audible?
:[Chanting sacks of gore in the background.]

:'''Twitter'''
:[A Twitter account page with the following: Many tweets, fewer following, even fewer followers, A bunch of assholes in the suggested follow box, trending topics partitioned into: Word Games, Misogyny, and Bieber, stuff your eyes automatically ignore, A really pleasant blue. and the timeline: Something about a podcast, Someone confused because the description doesn't match the link, The link you clicked on to get to this comic, Rob Delaney, Passive Aggression, and horse ebooks.]

:'''Wikipedia'''
:[There's no comic here because instead of drawing one, I spent the last hour reading every news story cited in the Wikipedia article on The Mile High Club.]

:'''Google Chrome'''
:[A Chrome plugin error page.]
:Chrome: This plugin requires Sergey Brin's permission to run. Please wait while he is woken.

:'''Chrome/Firefox'''
:[Two people; Cueball is sitting at a desk in front of a laptop.]
:Cueball: Man, chrome's hardware acceleration really sucks.
:Ponytail: Oh - Theres' a great add-on that fixes it.
:Cueball: Oh? What's it called?
:Ponytail: "Firefox".

:'''Google Chrome-2'''
:[A Chrome plugin error page with the characteristic jigsaw piece.]
:Chrome: Chrome is looking for this piece. Have you seen it? Chrome thinks it links up with a corner.

:'''Mozilla Firefox Private Browsing'''
:[Firefox error page.]
:Firefox: Well, this is embarrassing. You know how I'm not supposed to peek at your browsing in private mode? Firefox.. is sorry. Firefox will not blame you if you
:[Button with text.]
:Click here to report this incident.

:'''Internet Explorer'''
:[IE error page.]
:IE: Error: Internet Explorer has given up.

:'''Maxthon'''
:Cueball: Maxthon? Hey, 2005 called. Didn't say anything. All I could hear was sobbing. This is getting harder. Anyway, yeah, Maxthon's still cool! Didn't know it was still around!

:'''Netscape Navigator'''
:[Two different versions exist: one with Cueball talking and one with Megan with tentacle arms talking.]
:Person: Netscape Navigator? Hey, the nineties called - drunk as usual. I hung up without saying anything. This is getting harder. Anyway - it's cool that you'e got netscape running.

:'''Rockmelt'''
:[Cueball running to laptop.]
:I ran to Rockmelt to hide my face

:[Cueball sitting at laptop.]
:But Rockmelt cried out -

:[Laptop shouting.]
:NO HIDING PLACE

:[zoom out.]
:NO HIDING PLACE DOWN HERE

:'''Google Chrome-3'''
:[A chrome plugin error page.]
:Chrome: There does not exist --nor could there '''ever''' exist-- a plugin capable of displaying this content.

:'''Microsoft/Amazon/The Times/Google - Chrome'''
:[Chrome error page.]
:Chrome: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run. Remember, Microsoft/Amazon/The Times/Google is a team; individual employees should ''never'' speak for the company without authorization.

:'''Microsoft/Amazon - Firefox'''
:[Firefox error page.]
:Error: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run. Remember, Microsoft/Amazon is a team; individual employees should ''never'' speak for the company without authorization.

:'''Microsoft/The Times'''
:[Error page.]
:Error: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run. Remember, Microsoft/The Times is a team; individual employees should ''never'' speak for the company without authorization.

:'''Corporate - Generic'''
:[Error page.]
:Error: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run. Remember, we work as a team; individual employees should ''never'' speak for the company without authorization.

:'''Military'''
:[Person looking at two browser windows.]
:Cueball: I know y'all know what you're doing. But if you're on a military machine and you're supposed to be watching for missiles or something, I hope you're keeping an eye on that in the background while you're reading comics. Also: Thanks.

:'''T-Mobile'''
:[Error page.]
:Data Error: T-Mobile was unable to establish a connection

:'''Verizon'''
:[Error page]
:Error: You have exceeded your Verizon monthly bandwidth cap. Mobile web browsing has been disabled.

:'''France'''
:[Two people; one of which is browsing using a laptop.]
:Cueball: Hey, you're French, right? Ever see what happens when you type "French Military Victories" into Google?
:French person: Does it take you to an article on Napoleon?

:French person: ..no? Strange, given how he kicked everyone's asses up and down Europe for over a decade.

:[Beat frame.]

:Cueball: Touche.
:French person: You know, that'd sound smarter if you didn't pronounce it like it rhymes with "douche".

:'''Germany'''
:[Cueball dropping food from an unorthodox high perch.]
:June 1948: In response to the Soviet blockade of East Germany, the western allies construct the Berlin Chairlift.
:Cueball on chairlift: Food!

:'''Israel'''
:[Person on phone.]
:Person (Translation from Hebrew): Mom, I met a great guy! But he's not Jewish. ...Wait, what do you mean "neither are we"? I'm completely confused.

:'''Carnot Cycle'''
:[Ponytail on a motorcycle with a heat-entropy graph on the side.]
:Ponytail: Check out my new Carnot Cycle!
:Cueball: Neat - how fast does it go?
:Ponytail: Depends how cold it is outside.

:'''Great Britain'''
:[Illustration of the Atlantic ocean.]
:American person: Sorry I don't have a comic poking fun at the UK here. I only had time to get to the most ''important'' US states.
:British person: Hey - At least we have free health care and real ale.

:'''Earthquake-Blizzard'''
:[Two people sitting at a desk, facing each other. The desk rattles.]
:Cueball: Stop jiggling your leg.
:Danish: I'm not ji-.. oh!
:Cueball: What!
:Danish: You'll get it..

:[EVERYTHING RUMBLES.]
:Cueball: ..HOLY CRAP IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!
:Danish: Just a little one. Happens all the time back in San Francisco.

:Cueball: But this is {Options: "Alabama", "Boston", "Chicago", "Dallas", "Georgia", "Halifax", "Illinois", "Michigan", "Minnesota", "Missouri", "the Northeast", "Ohio", "Oklahoma", "Ottawa", 'Pennsylvania", "Philadelphia", "Texas", "Toronto", "Tennessee", "New York", "Wisconsin"}! That was huge!
:Danish: Seriously? That's the worst this place can do? Wow. I guess we grow up tougher in California.
:Cueball: Oh ''really''...

:Six Months Later..
:[Both people are trudging through a massive blizzard.]
:Danish: In pictures, snow always looked so nice and sof - ''AAAA! MY NECK! How do people live here?!''
:Cueball: Come on - it's only three more miles.

:'''Earthquake-Tornado'''
:[Two people sitting at a desk, facing each other. The desk rattles.]
:Cueball: Stop jiggling your leg.
:Danish: I'm not ji-.. oh!
:Cueball: What!
:Danish: You'll get it..

:[EVERYTHING RUMBLES.]
:Cueball: ..HOLY CRAP IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!
:Danish: Just a little one. Happens all the time back in San Francisco.

:Cueball: But this is {Options: "Alabama", "Dallas", "Illinois", "The Midwest", "Missouri", "Ohio", "Oklahoma", "Ottawa", "Tennessee", "Texas"}!
:Cueball: That was huge!
:Danish: Seriously? That's the worst this place can do? Wow. I guess we grow up tougher in California.
:Cueball: Oh ''really''...

:Six Months Later..
:[Both people are in a shelter in a prairie with a rapidly-approaching tornado.]
:Danish: AAAA CLOSE THE SHELTER DOOR!
:Cueball: Say the magic words...
:Danish: THIS PLACE IS THE WORST!
:Cueball: Thank you.

:'''Earthquake-Hurricane'''
:[Two people sitting at a desk, facing each other. The desk rattles.]
:Cueball: Stop jiggling your leg.
:Danish: I'm not ji-.. oh!
:Cueball: What!
:Danish: You'll get it..

:[EVERYTHING RUMBLES.]
:Cueball: ..HOLY CRAP IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!
:Danish: Just a little one. Happens all the time back in San Francisco.

:Cueball: But this is {Options: "D.C", "Florida", "Houston", "Miami", "New Jersey", "North Carolina", "South Carolina", "Virgina"}! That was huge!
:Cueball: That was huge!
:Danish: Seriously? That's the worst this place can do? Wow. I guess we grow up tougher in California.
:Cueball: Oh ''really''...

:Six Months Later..

:[Both are in the middle of a hurricane. Danish is grabbing onto a signpost to avoid being swept away.]
:Danish: AAAAA WHAT THE SHIIIIT!
:Cueball: Calm down - this is barely a category 2.

:'''Lake Diver Killer'''
:[TV Field Reporter in front of a cordoned-off lake.]
:Reporter: Police divers searching the bay say they have recovered the body of another victim of the "Lake Diver Killer."
:Reporter: During the search, three more divers were reported missing.

:'''Washington'''
:[The statue of Abraham Lincoln in the Lincoln Memorial.]
:In this Marble Prison As in the nightmares of the nation they tried to devour
:The nanobots that constituted Abraham Lincoln
:Are entombed forever.

:'''Alaska'''
:[A person with a gun chasing a helicopter on the back of a wolf in a snowy Alaskan field.]
:Some people hunt wolves from helicopters. I hunt helicopters from a wolf.

:'''Life in lab'''
:[Newspaper headline.]
:Scientists/UMass Amherst students/RIT students create life in lab
:[Caption under picture of scientists.]
:"The trick was fuckin'"

:'''American Revolution'''
:Robot Paul Revere: Remember: Zero if by land, One if by sea.

:'''MIT'''
:[Two people in front of a group of students.]
:Cueball: I've hired a team of MIT students to count cards for us.
:Hairy: We'll be rich!

:[Hairy deals some cards while the students watch.]

:[The gears turn..]

:Student: Five. There are five cards.
:Cueball: I see their admission standards have been slipping.
:Hairy: Yeah - there are actually four.

:'''MIT Course 15c'''
:[Two people in front of a group of students.]
:Cueball: I've hired a team of MIT students to count cards for us.
:Hairy: We'll be rich!

:[Hairy deals some cards while the students watch.]

:[The gears turn..]

:Student: Five. There are five cards.
:Cueball: I *knew* we shouldn't have picked course 15s.
:Hairy: Yeah - there are actually four.

:'''Smith/Wellesley'''
:[Two people in front of a group of students.]
:Cueball: I've hired a team of Smith/Wellesley students to count cards for us.
:Hairy: We'll be rich!

:[Hairy deals some cards while the students watch.]

:[The gears turn..]

:Student: Five. There are five cards.
:Cueball: We should've gone with Wellesley/Smith.
:Hairy: Yeah - there are actually four.

:'''CNU'''
:[Person unsuspectingly strolls under a giant box trap controlled by a Trible.]
:I worry that CNU only invited me back as a ruse because they realized I never turned in my final paper and want my diploma back. But if it turns out it's for real, I'll see you Wednesday at the Ferguson!

:'''Dana Farber'''
:[Cueball, pointing towards head.]
:Cueball: Check it out - In support of people going through chemo, I shaved my head.
:Lots of love to everyone reading this at Dana Farber. Cancer sucks. If you are new to DCFI, there's a great little garden on the third floor of the yawkey if you need somewhere quiet to just sit for a little bit and breathe.

:'''Reviews'''
:Shopping before online reviews:
:[Cueball and Megan stand in a store. Cueball points at a lamp on the table in front of him. There is another lamp on the table behind them.]
:Cueball: This lamp is pretty.
:Megan: And affordable.
:Cueball: Let's get it.
:Megan Ok!

:Shopping now:
:[Cueball points at a lamp on the table in front of him. Megan looks at her phone.]
:Cueball: This lamp is pretty.
:Megan: It's got 1 1/2 stars on Amazon. Reviews all say to avoid that brand.

:[Cueball and Megan are now both looking at their phones.]
:Cueball: This one has good reviews.
:Megan: Wait, one guy says when he plugged it in, he got a metallic taste in his mouth and his cats went deaf.
:Cueball: Eek. What about- ...no, review points out it resembles a uterus.

:[Cueball is still looking at his phone, Megan has hers at her side.]
:Cueball: Ok, I found a Swiss lampmaker with perfect reviews. Her lamps start at 1,300 Francs and she's only reachable by ski lift.
:Megan: You know, our room looks fine in the dark.

==Trivia==
*Reddit user [http://www.reddit.com/user/SomePostMan SomePostMan] created a [http://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/t6wmh/all_umwelt_1037_comics_in_two_imgur_albums/ post] that collected all of the Umwelt comics and added explanations. Much of his information is now included in this wiki.

*The transcript section for this comic also included a note alluding to its extreme length:
: [ [Two people...] ] ((..wait.. <scrolls through a listing of everything> oh goddammit Randall. Thanks a bunch, dude. I better get a raise for typing out all this))
: [Two people standing next to each other. One is holding the head end of a snake...

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]
[[Category:Penis]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Velociraptors]]
[[Category:April fools' comics]]
[[Category:Your Mom]]
[[Category:Puns]]

1587: Food Rule

2015-10-07T11:15:59Z

Figvh:

{{comic
| number = 1587
| date = October 7, 2015
| title = Food Rule
| image = food_rule.png
| titletext = I won't eat invertebrates, because I can fight a skeleton, but I have no idea what kind of spooky warrior a squid leaves behind.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a list of different types of food and [[Randall]] has a food rule that uses this list to indicate which types of food he eats and which types he does not wish to eat.

The first four items on the list are meat from four different animals of the type {{w|vertebrates}} and the last three items are from {{w|plants}}. These are all OK to eat. But the middle three items are three different animals of the type {{w|invertebrates}}. Randall does not eat these!

In the caption below the frame shows the pattern and gives the punchline. Vegetarians often describe their lifestyle with the slogan "[https://www.google.dk/search?sourceid=navclient&aq=&oq=%22don%27t+eat+anything+with+a+face%22&hl=da&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4GGHP_daDK541DK548&q=%22don%27t+eat+anything+with+a+face%22&gs_l=hp....0.0.1.209714...........0.uzhBe3IDZSQ don't eat anything with a face]". Randall is mocking this: if he has to first google the name of the food to determine whether or not it has a face then he will not eat it. He has no problems with eating things with or without a face, as long as he knows if it has a face in advance. He knows a cow has a face and that an apple does not, and eats both. But he might not, for instance, know what a {{w|Lamprey}} is and if so, he would not eat it even after he used Google to determined if this strange creature has a face or not (which can be disputed).

The title text explains why Randall does not wish to eat any invertebrates, adding another criterion. These animals do not have any skeleton. Randall is joking about how the animals he eats might come back to haunt him, and in the case of a cow or fish (or any other vertebrates - with skeletons), he imagines that they would come back as a living dead skeleton. Any undead creature that returns as a skeleton he believes he will be able to fight. But since he has no idea how an undead squid or oyster (or any other invertebrate) would look, he feels unprepared to fight such a spooky creature and thus declines from eating them. This may be the worst excuse ever for not wishing to eat a certain type of food. But it may be better than to just say that he thinks they are disgusting...

Randall has previously mentioned his dislike of certain foods (namely lobster) in [[1268: Alternate Universe]].

==Transcript==
:[There is a caption above a list of food with indication whether it is OK or not to eat. Below is another caption.]
:My food rule:
:{| class="wikitable" style="border: 0px;"
|-
| style="border: 0px; text-align: right" | Red meat
| style="border: 0px; color:green;" | ✓
|-
| style="border: 0px; text-align: right" | Pork
| style="border: 0px; color:green;" | ✓
|-
| style="border: 0px; text-align: right" | Poultry
| style="border: 0px; color:green;" | ✓
|-
| style="border: 0px; text-align: right" | Fish
| style="border: 0px; color:green;" | ✓
|-
| style="border: 0px; text-align: right" | Shrimp
| style="border: 0px; color:red;" | X
|-
| style="border: 0px; text-align: right" | Oysters
| style="border: 0px; color:red;" | X
|-
| style="border: 0px; text-align: right" | Squid
| style="border: 0px; color:red;" | X
|-
| style="border: 0px; text-align: right" | Fruit
| style="border: 0px; color:green;" | ✓
|-
| style="border: 0px; text-align: right" | Vegetables
| style="border: 0px; color:green;" | ✓
|-
| style="border: 0px; text-align: right" | Grains
| style="border: 0px; color:green;" | ✓
|}
:I won't eat something
:if I have to Google
:to figure out whether
:or not it has a face.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]

Category:Rickrolling

2015-10-07T05:02:12Z

Figvh: spelling

{{w|Rickrolling}} is an Internet meme involving the music video "{{w|Never Gonna Give You Up}}" by {{w|Rick Astley}}. The meme is a bait and switch; a person provides a hyperlink which is seemingly relevant to the topic at hand, but actually leads to Astley's video. It is a prank of that was biggest in 2008-2009. If you do open such a link you have been Rickrolled.

[[Randall]] uses it several times, even going so long as to even Rickrolling Astley himself in [[351: Trolling]] or having Astley visit a party in [[524: Party]], to not Rickroll [[Danish]].

Below is a list of comics that refer to Rickrolling.

[[Category:Comics by topic]]

1580: Travel Ghost

2015-09-22T12:34:15Z

Figvh: /* Explanation */ grammar

{{comic
| number = 1580
| date = September 21, 2015
| title = Travel Ghost
| image = travel_ghosts.png
| titletext = And a different ghost has replaced me in the bedroom.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|rough draft}}
A "{{w|Time attack#Video games|ghost}}" is a common term for the recording of a player's best actions in a {{w|Racing video game|racing game}}. The recording is used to create a virtual racer that another player can compete against. The previous player is shown as ghostly and transparent, because the two racers cannot physically interact.

A mapping app, such as {{w|Google Maps (mobile application)|Google Maps}}, attempts to plot the fastest route from one place to another, but there's no way to tell which route is really the fastest without testing it. So, [[Cueball]] has created an app that will simulate a number of different routes and produce "ghosts" from them. He hopes to use this app to discover the fastest route by competing against his ghosts like a racing game. He brags about this app to his friend [[White Hat]].

However, the comic takes a turn for the absurd when it depicts ''actual'' ghosts competing with him, instead of simulations on his phone. Soon enough, he is fired from work because one of his "ghosts" is more punctual than he is. And even worse his children apparently comes to prefer the more punctual "ghosts" over him as this version of daddy never misses their games.

In the title text this is even taken into the bedroom, although it is a different ghost than the one preferred by the children. This is likely a subtle reference to euphemisms for sexual climax, such as "arrival", with delayed ejaculation generally preferred.

It should be noted that this app would be of no use for minimizing travel time. The user doesn't find out which route was fastest untill after the first ghost has arrived. But as the current traffic situation will have changed by then, that route will not necessarily still be the fastest.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball, holding a smartphone, is talking to White Hat]
:Cueball: Lots of apps let you plan your trips using real-time bus, train, and traffic data. They try to predict which route will be faster, but aren't always right.

:[Cueball continues to talk off-panel. The text is above a map showing three possible routes with an overlaid Cueball on each; the top and the bottom route and Cueball are faded and the middle is black up until the black Cueball. After that this route is also faded. A black point on the right indicates the destination.]
:Cueball (off-panel): Instead of just '''''planning''''', my new app lets you send "ghost" versions of you along different routes, simulating their travel using the real-time data

:[Cueball, again talking to White Hat, holding the smartphone down].
:Cueball: That way, you can see which route turned out to be faster in practice,
:Cueball: You can also race your past selves.

:[Cueball is getting out of his car holding his smartphone in one hand and a briefcase in the other; A faded out Cueball bicyclist is in front of him to the right. At the top there is a caption in a frame:
:Soon...
:Cueball: Ugh, lost to the bike ghost ''again.''

:[Cueball with his briefcase is outside a door, holding a key card up to a key reader. On the inside of the door Ponytail is facing the door and points toward the faded version of Cueball also holding a briefcase.]
:Cueball: Hey, my key won't work
:Ponytail: I'm sorry, but we've decided to replace you. This floaty guy is much more punctual.

:[Two small girls, one with a hair bun the other with wavy long hair, is holding faded out Cueball's hands. The real Cueball is standing to the right, next to his briefcase on the ground. He is holding his hands out towards his kids.]
:Little girl with hair-bun: Our ''new'' dad never misses our games!
:Cueball: ''Nooo!''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]

1572: xkcd Survey

2015-09-03T11:14:18Z

Figvh: grammar

{{comic
| number = 1572
| date = September 2, 2015
| title = xkcd Survey
| image = xkcd_survey.png
| titletext = The xkcd Survey: Big Data for a Big Planet
}}
*The comic links to [http://goo.gl/forms/B5RaBeZ6nw The xkcd survey] on Google.

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|First attempt. There is probably more to come.}}

As the comic image states, it links to a survey created with [https://www.google.com/forms/about/ Google Forms], containing a series of questions. The questions range from mundane typical survery questions such as “Do you have any food allergies?”, to rather strange, such as “Fill this text box with random letters by randomly mashing keys on your keyboard.” (See [[1530: Keyboard Mash]]).

The stated goal of the survey is to “create an interesting and unusual data set for people to play with”. A strange data set is a ripe opportunity for a sampling of readers. It's also supposed to be “a search for weird correlations” – presumably the goal is to be able to say things like “people who have been skydiving are (more/less) likely than average to dislike cilantro”.

This explanation will doubtless expand when the data comes in.

{{w|Image_map#Client-side_image_map|HTML image maps}} is a technique for marking up areas of an image on a web page, such that each area can be a link without the whole image being a link. [[Randall]] could have used this type of image map to make only the “Click here to take the survey” button be a link, and none of the rest of the image. But he cannot get the hang of it (or knowing his skills, does not wish to take the time to learn it). Not getting the hang of HTML image maps was also referenced on [http://imgs.xkcd.com/store/tour-news.png the banner for his book tour] from [http://web.archive.org/web/20140901023821/http://xkcd.com/ September 2014]

===The Survey===

The Survey starts off with the following statement.

<nowiki>This is an anonymous survey. After it's done, a database of everyone's responses will be posted.
There's no specific reason for any of the questions. The goal is to create an interesting and unusual data set for people to play with. (This is obviously not going to be a real random sample of people, but in the interest of getting cooler data, if you're sharing this with friends, try sending it to some people who wouldn't normally see this kind of thing!)

WARNING: This survey is anonymous, but your answers WILL BE MADE PUBLIC. Depending what you write, it's possible that someone may be able to identify you by looking at your responses. None of these questions should ask about anything too private, but don't write anything that you don't want people to see. If you're not comfortable answering a question, just skip it.</nowiki>

====Plane====
*Have you ever been in a plane?
**No
**Yes

====Skydiving====
*Have you ever been {{w|Parachuting|skydiving}}?
**No, but I might someday
**Yes
**No

====The Dress====
*When you first saw {{w|The dress (viral phenomenon)|The Dress}}, what color was it? — Also see [[1492: Dress Color]].
**White and gold
**A color combination not listed here
**I don't remember
**Blue and black
**What dress?

====Popular food====
*What's a really popular food that you don't like?
**''Text box''

====Floaters====
*When you look at a blue sky, do you see those swirly {{w|floater|floaters}} in your vision?
**Yes, constantly
**I'm not sure what things you mean
**Yes, occasionally
**No

====Running out of gas====
*Have you ever had a car run out of gas while you were driving it?
**Yes
**No

====Animals====
*Name the first five animals you can think of
**''Multi line text box''

====Weather====
*What's the weather like where you are right now?
**''Text box''

====Activities====
*Which of these can you do reasonably well?
*(Check all that apply)
**{{w|slam dunk|Dunk}} a basketball — A "slam dunk" or simply "dunk" is the act of jumping up and putting the ball through the net with a lot of force
**Tie a {{w|sheet bend}} or {{w|bowline}} — A sheet bend is a knot that joins two ropes together; A bowline is a knot used to form a fixed loop at the end of a rope
**Roller skate
**Run in high heels
**Drive a stick shift — See {{w|Manual transmission}} of a car
**Solve a {{w|Rubik's cube}}
**Dive headfirst off a diving board — See {{w|Springboard}} and {{w|Diving platform}}
**Ice skate
**{{w|Skateboarding|Skateboard}}
**Walk on {{w|stilts}} — Stilts are poles, posts or pillars used to allow a person to walk at a height above the ground
**Ski
**Cut vegetables with a knife
**Swim
**Ride a horse
**{{w|Unicycle}}
**Change the oil on a car
**Do a back {{w|Handspring (gymnastics)|handspring}} — A handspring is an excercise in gymnastics in which you jump through the air landing on your hands, then again landing on your feet
**Juggle — {{w|Toss juggling}} (the most recognizable form of juggling) consists in throwing objects into the air and catching them.

====Spelling====
*What word can you never seem to spell on the first try?
**''Text box''

====Condiments====
*Do you eat condiments directly out of the fridge as a snack?
**No
**Yes

====Thermostat====
*When you adjust a thermostat that was set by someone else, it's usually because you want the room to be ...
**Cooler
**Warmer

====Clothing====
*What color is the shirt/dress/upper-body-clothing you're wearing right now, if any?
**''Text box''

====Colds====
*Do you get {{w|Common cold|colds}} often?
**No
**Yes

====Number====
*Pick a number from 1 to 100
**''Text box''

====Spelling====
*On a scale of 1 to 10, how good at spelling are you? (Note that the question does not specify which end of the scale is good or bad.)
**''Tick of list with numbers from 1 to 10.''

====Myers-Briggs====
*Do you know your {{w|Myers–Briggs_Type_Indicator|Myers-Briggs type}}?
**No
**Yes

====Astrology====
*Do you know your {{w|astrological sign}}?
**No
**Yes

====Siblings====
*How many older siblings do you have?
**''Text box''
*How many younger siblings do you have?
**''Text box''
*How many twin/etc siblings do you have?
**''Text box''

====Sleepiness====
*Do you feel sleepy a lot?
**Yes
**No

====Movie star====
*Name a movie star
**''Text box''

====Time in sun====
*Do you spend a lot of time in the sun?
**Yes
**No

====Broccoli====
*Does {{w|broccoli}} taste bitter to you?
**Yes
**No
**I've never had it

====Wakefulness====
*Do you regularly stay awake much later than you meant to?
**Yes
**No

====Keyboard mashing====
*Fill this text box with gibberish by mashing random keyboard keys (See [[1530: Keyboard Mash]]).
**''Broad multi-line text box''

====Driving====
*On a scale of 1 to 5, where 1 is terrible and 3 is average, how good a driver do you think you are?
**''Tick of list with numbers from 1 to 5.''

====Allergies====
*Do you have any food allergies?
**No
**Yes

====Thunder====
*Have you heard thunder or seen lightning in the past year?
**Yes
**No

====Flavor preference====
*Which do you prefer? (It seems to be missing the ''both'' option...)
**Chocolate
**Vanilla

====Number (reprise)====
*Pick another number from 1 to 100 (Supposedly is should not be the same as in the first pick a number box).
**''Text box''

====Internet====
*When you think about stuff on the internet, where do you picture it being physically located? Even if you know it's not really how things work, is there a place you imagine websites and social media posts sitting before you look at them? If so, where is it?
**''Broad multi-line text box''

====Roll tongue====
*Can you {{w|Tongue rolling|roll your tongue}}?
**Yes
**No
**What?

====Toes====
*Can you pick things up with your toes?
**No
**Yes

====Age====
*How old are you?
**''Text box''

====Walls====
*What color are the walls around you right now?
**''Text box''

====Cell phone====
*What kind of cell phone do you have?
**{{w|iPhone}}
**{{w|Android (operating system)|Android}}
**Other smartphone
**Non-smartphone
**I don't have a cell phone

====Eating====
*What's the last thing you ate?
**''Text box''

====Difficult words====
*Which of these words do you know the meaning of?
*(Some of these words don’t appear in any of the following dictionaries: the Oxford English Dictionary, the New Oxford American Dictionary, Wiktionary, or Dictionary.com. These words were probably made up by Randall. Perhaps the goal is to make people feel like they have a weak vocabulary because they don’t know many of the words, until they try look up the meanings and realize they have been tricked.
*[http://dictionary.reference.com/ Dictionary.com] has an index of difficulty (measured in pixels, with class name <code>difficulty-indicator</code>). We add it at the right of the words that have it. N/A means that a word isn't present in Dictionary.com, or that it doesn't have an index.
**Slickle – not in any dictionary, but a suggested planet name in [[1253: Exoplanet Names]]
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/rife Rife] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/rife 117]
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/soliloquy Soliloquy] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/soliloquy 150]
**Fination – not in any dictionary
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/stipple Stipple] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/stipple 144]
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/peristeronic Peristeronic] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/peristeronic N/A]. Randall used it and defined it for readers in [[798: Adjectives]].
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/modicum Modicum] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/modicum 120]
**Trephony – not in any dictionary
**Tribution – not in any dictionary
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/phoropter Phoropter] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/phoropter N/A]
**Unitory – not in any dictionary
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/amiable Amiable] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/amiable 123]
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/salient Salient] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/salient 69]
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/regolith Regolith] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/regolith 162]
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/lithe Lithe] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/lithe 105]
**Revergent – technical word from {{w|fern}} biology, referring to the edges of fern leaves which curl back on themselves (see [http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2FBF00985044 Schölch, 2000])
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/hubris Hubris] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hubris 117]
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/fleek Fleek] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fleek N/A]
**Cadine – not in any english dictionary - rare french word for [https://fr.wiktionary.org/wiki/cadine a sultan's wife or a noble ottoman woman] - also the name of an [https://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cadine italian city]
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/apricity Apricity] – [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/apricity N/A]

====cat====
*Please type "cat" here:
**''Text box''

====Dreams====
*Do you usually remember your dreams?
**No
**Yes

====Text editors====
*Do you have strong opinions about text editors? (See {{w|Editor war}})
**Yes
**No

====Emoji====
*How do you feel about {{w|emoji}}?
**Negative 😠 (Unicode 1f620 - Angry face)
**Positive 😊 (Unicode 263a - Smiling face)
**Neutral 😐 (Unicode 1F610 - Neutral face)

====Snow====
*Does it ever snow where you live?
**No
**Yes

====Taste of food====
*Do you strongly dislike the taste or texture of any of these things?
**Eggs
**Chocolate ice cream
**Beer
**White wine
**{{w|Carbonation}} (or Fizz)
**Red wine
**{{w|Cilantro}} (also know as Coriander).
**Coffee
**Tomatoes
**Yogurt

====Beverages====
*Which of these do you regularly drink?
**Caffeinated soda (e.g. Coca-Cola, Dr. Pepper)
**Noncaffeinated soda
**Coffee
**Fruit juice
**Milk
**Beer
**Wine
**Tea
**{{w|Maple syrup}} (This is a joke because maple syrup is not normally drunk)
**Water

====Random words====
*Type five random words
**''Broad multi-line text box''

====Flying====
*Are you nervous about flying?
**Yes
**No
**A little

====Favorite number====
*On a scale of 1 to 5, which number is your favorite?
**''Tick of list with numbers from 1 to 5.''

====Sandwich====
*Which of these would you consider a {{w|sandwich}}?
*(Check all that apply)
**{{w|Taco}}
**{{w|Quesadilla}}
**{{w|Submarine sandwich|Sub/Hoagie}}
**{{w|Cheesesteak}}
**{{w|Hamburger}}
**{{w|Open-faced sandwich}}
**{{w|Calzone}}

====Animal affinity====
*Which of these describes you?
*(Check all that apply)
**Dog person
**Cat person
**Half-cat half-person
**Part of a subterranean race of dog people
**Literally named "Catherine Person"

====Sense of direction====
*Would you say you have a good sense of direction?
**Yes
**No

====Socks or underwear====
*Have you ever thrown out all your different pairs of socks/underwear, bought a bunch of replacements that were all one kind, and then told all your friends how great it was and how they should do it too?
**Yes
**No
**I did the throwing out thing, but didn't talk to everyone about it
**No, but I'm totally doing that now

==See also==
*[[882: Significant]] is also about finding presumably-spurious correlations between unrelated data.
*The blag of the webcomic, [http://blog.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/ Color Survey Results], 2010-05-03

==Transcript==
:Introducing
:'''THE XKCD SURVEY'''
:A search for weird correlations
:Note: This survey is anonymous, but
: all responses will be posted publicly 
:so people can play with the data.
:'''Click here to'''
:'''take the survey'''
:Or click here, or here.
:The whole comic is a link,
:because I still haven't gotten
:the hang of HTML imagemaps.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]

1519: Venus

2015-08-17T03:38:10Z

Figvh: /* Explanation */ grammar

{{comic
| number = 1519
| date = May 1, 2015
| title = Venus
| image = venus.png
| titletext = The sudden introduction of Venusian flowers led to an explosive growth of unusual Earth pollinators, which became known as the "butterfly effect."
}}

==Explanation==
[[Miss Lenhart]] is teaching a class on science about the planet {{w|Venus}}.

In the first panel we see her teaching the history of Venus. Venus may have had water on its surface billions years ago, but if that's true all hydrogen since then was eventually lost due to dissociation. However, there is no evidence that Venus ever had fields of flowers, or Venusians, or any other form of life.

The {{w|runaway greenhouse effect}} on the second panel is a play on words. Miss Lenhart uses the term literally and claims the existence of sentient greenhouses that actually ran away. In reality, the effect caused Venus to develop a thick atmosphere of carbon dioxide, which raised its temperature above to approx. 460 °C (860 °F), hotter than daytime on Mercury. This eventually destroyed all evidence of anything that had been on the surface of Venus billions of years ago.

The third panel ties the previous distortion of Miss Lenhard into the very real {{w|Tulip mania|historic reputation}} of the Netherlands as {{w|Netherlands#Agriculture|flower growers}} and as a further fabrication by Miss Lenhart the Dutch flower industry was in fact started by the Venusians.

In the final panel we see that she is a month away from retirement and doesn't care about relaying accurate information anymore. She just wants to have a laugh at the expense of the naive school children.

The title text jokes about the {{w|butterfly effect}}, the idea that a butterfly flapping its wings in Japan can cause a Tornado in the U.S.. In this case the {{w|Butterfly|butterflies}} would just help pollinate the flowers.

==Transcript==
:[Miss Lenhart is standing in front of an image, presumably a temperate Venus, with greenhouses, grass, flowers and a river flowing into a sea.]
:Miss Lenhart: Venus once was temperate. It had seas and rivers, and Venusians cultivated vast fields of beautiful flowers.

:[The image is now zoomed out to see the entirety of Venus, with continents and oceans. The greenhouses are shown fleeing ("running") away from Venus.]
:Miss Lenhart: Until their greenhouses fled the planet due to the runaway greenhouse effect.

:[Miss Lenhart is now standing in front of a classroom and addressing the students, we see one of these a girl with her hair in a bun, sitting at a desk.]
:Miss Lenhart: The Venusians pursued their greenhouses to Earth, settling in the Netherlands and kickstarting the Dutch floral industry. Any questions?

:Offscreen (Presumably Hair Bun Girl): Because you're retiring in a month, do you just not care what you say anymore?
:Miss Lenhart: ''What?!'' I '''''ride the skies''''' atop a screaming bird of truth! Also, yes, I do not.

==Trivia==
*It is not directly mentioned that it is Miss Lenhart teaching, but her looks and profession fits this character well enough to make this deduction.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Miss Lenhart]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Puns]]

769: War

2015-08-13T11:25:22Z

Figvh: /* Explanation */ grammar

{{comic
| number = 769
| date = July 21, 2010
| title = War
| image = war.png
| titletext =They offered to make me a green beret, but I liked my regular one. Although it gets kind of squashed under my helmet.
}}

==Explanation==
Today's comic seems to be a parable about the perils of love during wartime. Our protagonist, [[Beret Guy]], is seen here leaning against his pack behind a low wall, surely a good hiding spot for any gentleman with a rifle and scope. Judging by the letter he's in the midst of writing, he has a complex relationship with Cordelia. On the one hand, she's attractive. On the other hand, she's a sniper, as evidenced by the shots fired mid-missive. Cordelia's fire works against her, though, as her volley of shots has revealed her own position atop the maintenance shed. We can presume that in a matter of minutes, this love affair will go sour as the love letter is wrapped around a live grenade and "delivered," so to speak. War is indeed hell.

As to the title text, the green berets are worn only by Special Forces soldiers. It takes a lot of training to become a green beret, and as evidenced by our protagonist's clever use of decoys to outwit a sniper, he may be qualified for the honor. It sounds, however, as if he didn't understand the proposition, preferring his regular beret instead. Further evidence for his idiocy is given immediately thereafter, as he confesses that he wears a beret under his helmet. Then again, he does not have a choice, since [[291: Dignified|he has stapled the beret on his head.]]

The comic starts off with the commonly known stereotype of a soldier in war writing a letter to his sweetheart (Cordelia), presumably at home. After the gunshots interrupt his writing, we come to know that Cordelia is actually fighting on the opposite side - it is left open whether they are in an actual relationship or the soldier just writes love letters to his enemies. He explains to her that he can now locate her after she shot a decoy set up by him, closing with the phrase "War is hell", often used in the stereotypical situation described above and now having a much darker tint. The title text gives the reader some kind of closure - the soldier is revealed to be [[Beret Guy]], from whom this kind of behavior doesn't seem so weird after all.

"Cordelia" is likely a reference to [http://atoracle.wikidot.com/en-cordelia-rosalind Cordelia Rosalind]—the sniper from the {{w|Miniature wargaming|miniature game}} "{{w|Anima: Beyond Fantasy#Anima: Tactics|Anima: Tactics}}".

==Transcript==
:[A soldier is on the ground behind a low wall, writing a letter.]
:My Dearest Cordelia,
:it has been far too long since I last gazed
:upon your lithe and supple body through my
:telescopic sights, and I fear you may have
:found a superior vantage poin—

:''BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!''

:—a splendid effort, my love, but your shots
:find only a decoy, and reveal your position atop
:the maintenance shed.

:I pray this missive and my grenades find you well.

:War is hell.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

1558: Vet

2015-08-05T12:31:19Z

Figvh: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1558
| date = July 31, 2015
| title = Vet
| image = vet.png
| titletext = It's probably for the best. Since Roombas are native to North America, it's illegal for Americans to keep them in their houses under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Roomba}} is a brand of domestic cleaning robots manufactured by the company {{w|iRobot}}. The robots are designed to automatically vacuum floors. Although these robots are controlled by a quite simple software without any artificial intelligence, some owners tend to humanize them in the same way that others humanize their pets.

There are several other comics related to a Roomba:
*[[413: New Pet]]
*[[506: Theft of the Magi]]
*[[908: The Cloud]]
*[[1183: Rose Petals]]
*[[1193: Externalities]]

[[Megan]] presents a {{w|pet carrier}} to what appears to be a veterinarian. She says that her "dog" is “crawling around eating dirt”, which sounds like certain types of behavioral problems one encounters in dogs, but is precisely what Roombas are made for. What makes the cartoon even more hilarious is that when the vet comments that it is a Roomba, Megan responds that the device (which has nothing of an animal) is a cross-breed, and agrees that it has “some Roomba” in it. It's common to talk about domestic dogs this way, but cross-breeding dogs with machines is impossible{{Citation needed}}. The vet then goes on to say, with endless patience, that a Roomba is not a pet. This is taken by Megan as if the doctor said that the Roomba-like device is a non-domesticated animal (like a monkey, a fox, or the birds referred to in the title text) that can but should not be kept in captivity. In the last panel she consequently releases the vacuum cleaner and it whirs to its freedom.

The second customer has a dog on a leash but is also carrying a pet transporter which is clearly too small for the dog. Perhaps he has another small dog in there.

The {{w|Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918|Migratory Bird Treaty act}} from the title text contains a list of over 800 bird species that are not allowed to be captured or killed. If the Roomba were to be classified as a native American bird and were added to the list, keeping them as pets would constitute capturing and would be considered illegal. This, of course, shows how confused Megan is. She previously stated the Roomba to be a dog and now apparently believes it is a bird, even though dogs are not birds and the Roomba is neither.

==Transcript==
:[Megan arrives with a pet carrier, Cueball stands at a desk as a veterinarian, and Hairy is waiting behind in line with a dog and a pet carrier.]
:Megan: There's something wrong with my dog. He keeps crawling around eating dirt.

:[Cueball holds the content of Megan's pet carrier.]
:Cueball: This is a roomba.
:Megan: Well, he's a mix. Probably some roomba in there.

:[The roomba lies on the table.]
:Cueball: A roomba is not a pet.
:Megan: You're right. It's wrong to keep a beautiful creature like this in a house.

:[Megan is outside left to a tree, encouraging the roomba to drive away.]
:Megan: Go! Be free!
:Roomba: ''WHIRRR''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Robots]]
[[Category:Roomba]]

659: Lego

2015-07-19T12:41:33Z

Figvh: /* Explanation */ legos to lego blocks

{{comic
| number = 659
| date = November 6, 2009
| title = Lego
| image = lego.png
| titletext = Dad, where is Grandpa right now?
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Lego}} blocks are a popular building toy, which [[Cueball]] here uses to describe a philosophical conundrum: the distinction between a composition, and the collection of parts that make up that composition. For example, the Lego blocks he and his daughter, [[Ponytail]], used to make a house are still around; they were put back into the bin, and can be used on future designs. However, the house itself, as a specific combination of those blocks, is gone. It ceased to exist when they took it apart. In essence, they "killed" the house. Those blocks could be used to build a car or an airplane, so if there is still a house in the box after it has been dismantled, then there is also a car in the box and a plane in the box, and a large number of other objects in the box: making it a very crowded box. Thus, it is more logical to consider the house to be one possible arrangement of the lego blocks that only exists when the blocks are put in that arrangement.

Later in her life, Ponytail extends this thinking to humans and {{w|organ donation}}. The US has an opt-in system for organ donation; in the event that you die, any of your organs or tissues that remain functional after your death can be donated for transplantation or medical research, provided you've opted into the organ donor registry. Ponytail compares her organs to the Lego blocks she's carrying - even if she (the composition) dies, her organs (the pieces) can continue to serve another. As such, she is compelled to register as an organ donor.

The title text is the same question asked in the first panel, asked from this new perspective - instead of asking where the Lego house went, the questioner (presumably a young child, possibly still Ponytail) is asking where his/her Grandpa went. Humans are a composition of many parts; the parts are usually buried or cremated when we die, but the composition is something else entirely. What exactly happens to a human composition after death is a question for religious debate, but we know for sure it doesn't stay ''here''.

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail and her father Cueball are putting away Lego bricks.]
:Cueball: When you take apart a Lego house and mix the pieces into the bin, where does the house go?
:Ponytail: It's in the bin.

:Cueball: No, those are just pieces. They could become spaceships or trains. The house was an arrangement. The arrangement doesn't stay with the pieces and it doesn't go anywhere else. It's just gone.

:[Ponytail, older, is standing at a desk. She's holding a couple of Lego bricks.]

:[She looks at the bricks.]

:[She checks off a box next to the words "Organ Donor" on something on the desk.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]

1014: Car Problems

2015-07-13T10:02:32Z

Figvh: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1014
| date = February 8, 2012
| title = Car Problems
| image = car_problems.png
| titletext = Or if you replace your car, we'll be happy to set it on fire again so you can take another crack at getting that shot.
}}
[[File:Chromatic_aberration_(comparison).jpg|thumb|upright=1.5| The lower image has lateral chromatic aberration (seen as a blur and a green edge in areas of contrast.) (from Wikimedia Commons)]]
==Explanation==
[[Megan|Megan's]] car appears to have combusted at some point while she left it unattended. Suspecting her friends and acquaintances [[Cueball]], [[Black Hat]] and [[Danish]] of perhaps having something to do with it, she gathers them in front of a couch and draws attention to the fact that something is just a little bit wrong with the two juxtaposed images she shows them. When she asks ''What is wrong with this picture'', they all three take this question literally and start critiquing the picture quality, and not the subject, feigning complete ignorance about the car being on fire. When Megan exasperatedly tells them what is wrong with the picture —that her car is on fire!— they continue to act evasive by telling her that she should buy a better camera.

To some, the title text and the dialogue suggest that Megan's friends aren't being intentionally evasive, they are just doing exactly what they were told. They patiently and correctly describe what is wrong with the picture. If Megan had wanted to know what was wrong with her car, than she would have asked that. Her friends are just being friendly when they offer to help her create the scene [again] so that she can shoot the picture correctly.

As for the particular details of the digital photography terms mentioned:

*{{w|White balance}}: Artificial indoor light is more yellow, outdoor light is more blue. The light colour can also depend on weather or time of day. The human eye is a very good judge of whiteness under a variety of lighting conditions, digital cameras often have difficulty automatically correcting for this which can cause images to look too blue or orange. Professional cameras and image editing software allow you to adjust the white balance manually, which Megan probably has not done.
*{{w|Focus (optics)|Focus}} is a bit too close: As light passes through a camera lens, it is bent until the rays converge on the film or sensor. If the focus is too close, it implies that point of convergence from the light of the subject is slightly in front of the sensor (i.e. that Megan has accidentally focused on something closer than the car). This will result in near objects being (too) sharp, and the car being slightly blurry.
*{{w|Chromatic aberration}}: This causes coloured artifacts in an image, typically caused by cheap lenses, which do not focus light of different wavelengths (and thus different colours) in the same way. It is usually visible as a blueish or reddish outline around objects.
*{{w|Megapixels}}: This is the number of image sensor elements of digital cameras or the pixels on digital displays. More pixels improve the resolution but can also result in less overall quality for the pictures, due in part to the reduced size of each pixel sensor (because the total sensor size is typically the same for a given class of camera), and because for consumer-targeted products the total engineering budget is limited, so that extra money spent on a high megapixel sensor ends up reducing the money spent on other elements such as the lenses.

While this comic focuses on misunderstandings by people viewing pictures this could be also a reference to the [http://www-odi.nhtsa.dot.gov/owners/SearchResults?searchType=ID&targetCategory=I&searchCriteria.nhtsa_ids=PE11037 battery fire] in a stored, damaged {{w|Chevrolet Volt}} automobile. During a side-impact safety test, which the car passed with a five star rating at [http://www.popularmechanics.com/cars/alternative-fuel/hybrids/the-straight-story-on-the-chevy-volt-battery-fire-6601217 Popular Mechanics], its high voltage battery pack was damaged. Part of the test procedure includes rolling the vehicle over after the impact to check for leaking fluids; during the rollover check, the vehicle electronics were flooded with coolant. The damaged vehicle was then put into storage where its high voltage battery remained energized; three weeks later the battery spontaneously caught fire, potentially due to corrosion, and destroyed the car. GM subsequently made design changes to address the causes of the fire.

==Transcript==
:[Megan stands in front of a projection of a car, with an audience of 3 people. One of the people is Black Hat, the others are Danish and Cueball.]
:Megan: Attention Please. This is a photo of my car as of two weeks ago.

:[Megan in front of a new projection of the same car engulfed in flames.]
:Megan: And ''this'' is my car as I found it this morning. Can anyone tell me what's wrong with this picture?

:[The audience ponders.]

:Cueball: The white balance, for one.
:Danish: Focus is a bit too close.
:Black Hat: The chromatic aberration suggests you bought your camera because it had "The most megapixels".

:Megan: '''''THE CAR IS ON FIRE!'''''
:Comment from audience: Maybe you should use the insurance money to get a better camera.
:Comment from different person: yeah.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

1518: Typical Morning Routine

2015-04-29T13:02:19Z

Figvh: /* grammar */

{{comic
| number = 1518
| date = April 29, 2015
| title = Typical Morning Routine
| image = typical_morning_routine.png
| titletext = Hang on, I've heard this problem. We need to pour water into the duct until the phone floats up and ... wait, phones sink in water. Mercury. We need a vat of mercury to pour down the vent. That will definitely make this situation better and not worse.
}}

==Explanation==
Waking up to an alarm can be annoying, especially when it is your partner's alarm, and they are slow to wake up and even then have difficulty in figuring out how to turn the alarm off. This comic takes this to a ridiculous extreme, whence the comic derives its humor, especially when paired with the title describing this situation as a "Typical Morning Routine". Of course the typical could refer only to the part of the "routine" until the phone is dropped into an air vent.

In this comic, a guy with morning hair ([[Hairy]]) is shown using his phone as his alarm clock. In this case, Hairy is just Cueball with morning hair, therefore likely sharing the bed with [[Megan]]. We never see who he is sharing the bed with, a person that must be getting angrier with him and his alarm.

It can sometimes be complicated to turn off the alarm on a {{w|smartphone}} when groggy. The guy has apparently exited the alarm app by mistake. In some OSes, simply exiting the app doesn't close it, requiring you to use the app switcher to close it. (As of when this comic was posted, [[Randall]] uses both iOS and Android according to [[1508: Operating Systems]]).

After giving up on shutting the alarm app off Hairy then, in annoyance, gets the brilliant idea of trying to remove the battery, in the dark, to shut off his phone forcefully, instead of just trying to turn it off. (This narrows it down to Android phones, since iPhones do not have consumer removable batteries.) However, in this process, he accidentally drops his device down an {{w|air vent}} next to the bed. Such a vent for an {{w|underfloor air distribution}} may not be very deep until it reaches a bend, so the phone can be expected to survive the fall. Usually such a {{w|Register (air and heating)|vent}} will have some sort of grille preventing anything large from falling into it. But either a grille wasn't there, or this phone must have been small enough to slip through anyway.

If they were a little handy, they would probably be able to open the vent and retrieve the phone. But of course it cold either be too deep (not probable, sine the phone survived the fall intact), or they do not have the tools (maybe they live in a rented apartment). So being unable to get it out, Hairy attempts to remotely {{w|Brick (electronics)|brick}} the phone from his laptop. (That is to erase important system files rendering the device as useful as a brick).

However, Hairy seems to have accidentally gone into {{w|airplane mode}} in the confusion, thereby cutting off all {{w|wireless communications}} with the device. Airplane Mode also has a side effect where by turning off all communication components, the phone uses less energy, so the phone will now last a week, rather than typically a day or so. Rather than dealing with the noise for weeks, Hairy proposes that they just move out instead. But a smartphone playing loud sounds in airplane mode typically only lasts a day or so before the battery charge runs out.

There is a semi-common logic puzzle involving a ping-pong ball falling down a pipe with a kink in it. In this puzzle, the solution is to pour water into the pipe until the ping-pong ball floats up.

In the title text his partner remembers this problem and attempts to apply his knowledge. Then realizing that phones do not float in water he suggests using {{w|Mercury (element)|mercury}}. The phone would certainly float on mercury, as it is a very dense liquid (the only metal that is liquid at room temperature). The extremely toxic nature of mercury, however, makes pouring it into the air supply a somewhat less-than-stellar idea, not to mention the fact that the required amount of mercury would be extremely expensive. The last line in the title text is either yet another bit of early-morning confusion, or a bit of irony, stating that the mercury idea would ''definitely make this situation better and not worse''. The title is also sarcastic, as this definitely does not happen on a daily basis, or else an alarm would already be already continuously ringing from the vent in the first place if it were the case.

If they were actually ready to pour mercury down the went, or brick the phone (ruining it anyway) then maybe they could just pour enough water into the vent instead, until the phone would shut down by being flooded, therefore short-circuited. This would not work if the phone was waterproof. Some rugged phones and phone cases do actually float on water, and simply water would work.

Of course all these great ideas they have, would probably not have come up, if they had not just been awakened brutally by a very loud alarm, that they fail to keep quiet. It is very difficult to think clearly in such a stressful circumstance.

This comic follows a similar storyline to [[349: Success]], as Cueball, in both comics, encounters an issue and attempts proceedingly more absurd solutions to the issue.

==Transcript==
:[The panel is completely black, with white text. Small lines indicate from where the two voices are coming, and also from where the alarm goes off. A small broken square surrounds the first word spoken.]
:Alarm: '''Bleep Bleep'''
:Voice (right): Urgh
:Voice (left): Your alarm is going off
:Voice (right): Huh?
:Voice (left): Make it stop.
:Voice (right) Urrgh

:[The panel is completely black, with white text. Small lines indicate from where the two voices are coming. Several small lines surrounds the last "sound" which is not spoken. The alarm noise is continued from the previous panel and continues over the top of the frame directly into the next panel.]
:Alarm: '''Bleep Bleep Bleep B'''
:Voice (left): Hit snooze.
:Voice (right): I'm ''trying''. I closed the alarm app and I can't... I'll just pop out the battery.
:Voice (right): Whoops!
:Clang

:[The lights have turned on so it is now a white panel with black text. The voice to the right came from Hairy with morning hair. He is leaning over the side of the bed, looking down the air vent through which he has dropped the phone. The other person to the left is not shown. The alarm noise (now coming from the air vent as visualized by the lines coming out of the vent) still continues from the previous panel and continues over the top of the frame directly into the next panel.]
:Alarm: '''eep Bleep Bleep Ble'''
:Off-Screen voice: Make it stop!
:Hairy: It... fell down the vent.

:[Hairy is sitting in his bed with a laptop. The person to the left is still off-screen. The alarm noise still continues from the previous panel and continues over the top of the frame out of the comic the the right.]
:Alarm: '''ep Bleep Bleep Bleep Ble'''
:Off-Screen voice: Can you brick it remotely?
:Hairy: Trying... I think I fumbled it into airplane mode?
:Off-Screen voice: The battery could last for weeks.
:Hairy: You know, maybe we should just move.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Sarcasm]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]

282: Organic Fuel

2015-04-06T05:58:57Z

Figvh: /* thyme and time are complete homophones not near homophones */

{{comic
| number = 282
| date = June 27, 2007
| title = Organic Fuel
| image = organic_fuel.png
| titletext = I have nothing to apologize for.
}}
==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is fascinated about that engines can burn organic matter. But in fact {{w|biofuel}} is a big industry today. It is criticized now and then because it can affect food prices and is believed to exacerbate world hunger.

Next comes a reference to the famous quote, "Mussolini made the trains run on time", an oft-quoted piece of propaganda from Italy under Fascist dictator {{w|Benito Mussolini}}. The pun is made on the fact that {{w|Thyme|thyme}} (an herb, or as in this comic, a spice) and time (the physical phenomenon, as in the original quote) are homophones. But the organic matter thyme could technically be used as fuel.

The title text may be interpreted in one of two ways. It may be attributed to the pun-maker, in which case he makes no apology for his corny joke, or it may be attributed to Cueball, in which case he makes no apology for the termination of friendship, since the pun was too terrible.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball at computer and a friend standing nearby.]
:Cueball: Wow – Engines can burn vegetable oil.
:Friend: Well, sure. You can burn most any organic matter. Corn, leaves, spices...
:Cueball: Spices? Really?
:Friend: Sure – Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.
:Cueball: ...
:Cueball: We are no longer friends.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

Talk:1507: Metaball

2015-04-06T03:48:17Z

Figvh:

This... looks amazing! I wonder if this is going to be a case of xkcd influencing real life, like geohashing, the "citation needed" on speeches or cory doctorow cosplaying... cory doctorow. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.48.29|173.245.48.29]] 08:26, 3 April 2015 (UTC)

Perhaps this is how you play [https://xkcd.com/1480/ sportsball]? [[Special:Contributions/141.101.64.11|141.101.64.11]] 11:19, 5 April 2015 (UTC)Indigofenix

Over here in Rightpondia (UK), "Hockey" means "Field Hockey" (I'm sure I've never actually heard "ball hockey" as a term before, ''ever'', although must be the same)... although it's mostly popularised as a (often very vicious!) girl's sport; see the St. Trinians cartoons/films. Although we understand Leftpondians (and especially Upper-Leftpondians) mean Ice Hockey when they miss off the qualifier. Just as vicious, of course (except now that everyone wears armour... also c.f. usual comments regarding Rugby League/Union vs 'American Football'/Gridiron). But none of these have anything on the near-variant of these games (mainly in Ireland) that is Hurling..! (As to Field Hockey as Aussie Rules Football is to Association Football?)[[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.192|141.101.98.192]] 16:25, 3 April 2015 (UTC)

Suspiciously similar to Calvinball. --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.100|108.162.221.100]] 21:18, 3 April 2015 (UTC)A Martin
: I agree, but there seem to be preset rules (the sheet that Ponytail is holding), suggesting that it isn't made up as they go along [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.33|141.101.98.33]] 09:01, 4 April 2015 (UTC)

I see influences of Hofstadter's ''Godel,Escher,Bach'', which has
1) the idea of how the play-by-play of a football game would be altered if it were baseball (among other counterfactuals), and
2) the idea of a boardgame whose rules change according to where pieces are on the board. [[User:Fewmet|Fewmet]] ([[User talk:Fewmet|talk]]) 22:26, 3 April 2015 (UTC)

I wonder how the concept of 'out' (as opposed to 'in') would be dealt with as the ball passes into (and eventually out of) the volleyball zone.[[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.216|173.245.54.216]] 05:58, 4 April 2015 (UTC)
:Baseball zone... ;-) Although I'm sure there is a volleyball zone somewhere... --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 13:35, 4 April 2015 (UTC)

OK I guess this is not a complaint since the explanation seems to make sense. But I'm still confused about something. In the third panel the invocation of the infield fly rule is entirely wrong, The infielder must either catch and drop the ball or appear to deliberately refuse to catch the ball. The panel shows the ball still in the air when the call is made. As an athletophobe I just spent 20 minutes of my life researching the infield fly rule (http://scholarship.law.upenn.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=5322&context=penn_law_review) (!!!) so... well... I get it but how do you make the leap?[[User:ExternalMonolog|ExternalMonolog]] ([[User talk:ExternalMonolog|talk]]) 09:01, 4 April 2015 (UTC)
:The comic explanation had it wrong. It is Megan (the batter/kicker) who is Out when Ponytail yells. A high ball in Baseball can be called infield fly before anyone even tries to catch it. So it is of no consequence weather Cueball tries to catch it, or actually tries to dunk the ball. I have corrected the explanation acordingly. And also added the fact that the rule is hard to understand to outsiders of baseball. {{unsigned|Kynde}}
::TY! I've done some thinking and it's starting to dawn on me that the strategy the runners take interacts with the infielders actions. On the plus side this has prompted me to make a new life rule: You should always distinguish between strategy and cheating, but you should never be too picky about it! :¬D
::[[User:ExternalMonolog|ExternalMonolog]] ([[User talk:ExternalMonolog|talk]]) 21:59, 4 April 2015 (UTC)

A quick comment about hockey: there a variation, hockey cosom (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indoor_field_hockey). It is played normally indoor and with a ball. But it is also a cheap variant that school in Quebec use in winter in PE, as skating equipment with proper gears for rink hockey is both expensive and require skill that kids might not have. It would better fit with the Metaball title.--[[User:Labreck|Labreck]] ([[User talk:Labreck|talk]]) 10:03, 4 April 2015 (UTC)
:No problem playing golf with a football? Then why anyproblem playing Ice hockey with such a ball? It is easier to get a foot ball into a ice hockey goal than to it into a golf hole. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 13:35, 4 April 2015 (UTC)

The title reminds me of J H Conway's paradoxical "Metagame", whose rules are: the first player (L) names a finite game (e.g. Nim), and then the two players (L and R) play that game. Is Metagame a finite game? If it is, then each player in turn can name Metagame, and the process never ends, so it isn't finite. But if it isn't finite, L must name another finite game, so the game does end. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.216|141.101.98.216]] 10:04, 4 April 2015 (UTC)

Reminds me of Hich-Hiker's "Brockian_Ultra-Cricket" <ref>{{cite web|url=http://hitchhikers.wikia.com/wiki/Brockian_Ultra-Cricket|title=Brockian Ultra-Cricket - Hitchhikers|accessdate=2015-04-04}}</ref> :

''"Rule Four: Throw lots of assorted items of sporting equipment over the wall for the players. Anything will do – cricket bats, basecube bats, tennis guns, skis, anything you can get a good swing with.

Rule Five: The players should now lay about themselves for all they are worth with whatever they find to hand. Whenever a player scores a “hit” on another player, he should immediately run away as fast as he can and apologize from a safe distance. Apologies should be concise, sincere, and, for maximum clarity and points, delivered through a megaphone.

Rule Six: The winning team shall be the first team that wins."'' [[User:Briantist|Briantist]] ([[User talk:Briantist|talk]]) 13:57, 4 April 2015 (UTC)

<references/>
Who is the female with her hair in a bun?--[[User:17jiangz1|17jiangz1]] ([[User talk:17jiangz1|talk]]) 14:17, 4 April 2015 (UTC)
:Not anyone in particular but she was also in [[1504]] and I have found 7 appereance of [[Hair Bun Girl]] with hair in a bun. So I have added her as a minor character. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 16:46, 4 April 2015 (UTC)

Not sure where to post this but paragraphs following an external links are in separate boxes to the rest of the text. I looked at a few other comics and it's the same. It had better not be deliberate as it really breaks the flow of the explanation when it is cut off mid sentence--[[User:Figvh|Figvh]] ([[User talk:Figvh|talk]]) 03:25, 6 April 2015 (UTC)
nevermind it's fixed now--[[User:Figvh|Figvh]] ([[User talk:Figvh|talk]]) 03:48, 6 April 2015 (UTC)

Talk:1507: Metaball

2015-04-06T03:25:20Z

Figvh: