explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

2685: 2045

2022-10-14T22:52:02Z

Giftofgab:

{{comic
| number = 2685
| date = October 14, 2022
| title = 2045
| image = 2045_2x.png
| imagesize = 350x457px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = "Sorry, doctor, I'm going to have to come in on a different day--I have another appointment that would be really hard to move, in terms of the kinetic energy requirements."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a GIGANTIC NUCLEAR FURNACE (THE SUN) - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
The characters are talking about upcoming total {{w|solar eclipses}}. Partial solar eclipses are fairly frequent (2–5 per year), but total eclipses are less frequent (about every 18 months), and most of them will not be in convenient locations for a particular set of people. Cueball seems to be talking about total eclipses visible in much of North America: {{w|Solar eclipse of April 8, 2024|April 8, 2024}} and {{w|Solar eclipse of August 12, 2045|August 12, 2045}}. (There's also an {{w|annular eclipse}} on October 14, 2023.) Making plans for eclipses is awkward given the uncertainty present for anything else far in the future, such as whether the attendees will have children by then, and even whether another scheduling program will catch on and replace Google Calendar.

Black Hat claims he can't make it, as he has "a thing" on August 12, 2045. Events as minor and unspecific as "a thing" are not typically scheduled at a precise date this far in the future{{Citation needed}}, implying that this could be one of his more grand and sinister plans... Or he just doesn't want to go.

The title text is someone canceling a medical appointment to see the eclipse. The eclipse is hard to move because that would require hastening or delaying it by moving the Earth, Moon or Sun, any of which would require vast amounts of energy.{{Citation needed}} People also don't often schedule doctor's appointments decades in advance.{{Citation needed}} This was published a year before the next eclipse so, if you're someone who plans things a year in advance this serves as a reminder to put it on your calendar.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball, another person, Danish, and Black Hat are standing together. Danish is looking at her phone.]
:Cueball: ...And then after the one in 2024, there's another on August 12, 2045.
:Friend: We're in! We can invite our kids, assuming we have any.
:Danish: I'll create an event. Do you think we'll still be using Google Calendar in 2045?
:Black Hat: Sorry, I'd love to make it, but I have a thing that day.

:Caption: It's weird making plans for eclipses.

{{comic discussion}}

2019: An Apple for a Dollar

2018-07-19T01:05:31Z

Giftofgab: The word needed is "multiple" not "multitude" of a value.

{{comic
| number = 2019
| date = July 13, 2018
| title = An Apple for a Dollar
| image = an_apple_for_a_dollar.png
| titletext = I'd like 0.4608 apples, please.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Megan]] is about to buy an apple at a grocery store when she is surprised that the price is exactly one dollar. A common practice in pricing items is to deliberately make them slightly less than a round number, such as $1.99 or $1.95 instead of $2, as a psychological trick to make the item price seem significantly less than it really is, as people often mentally catalog the item as "one dollar and some change" instead of "almost two dollars". Additionally, in most cases in the US, {{w|Sales taxes in the United States|sales tax}} must be taken into account, as it is generally not included in the list price (although [https://taxfoundation.org/which-states-tax-groceries/ most states] do exempt food sold in grocery stores from sales taxes), so a price rarely comes out to a round value. That it came out to an exact dollar is so strange for Megan that it throws her for a loop. Buying one apple for one dollar feels to her more like a simplified, imaginary ''Idea'' of a transaction (a "{{w|Platonic Ideal}}") than like something that could actually happen in real life.

Megan likely shares Randall's background of engineering and math. When learning science, engineering, and math in the education system, one studies examples where every number is some round value, and all situations are simplified to the barest essentials so as to demonstrate the ideas being taught. Then, when doing real problems in the real world, one spends the rest of one's life almost never being able to use the simplified tricks demonstrated as examples in school, because when math is used to describe the natural world, nothing is ever a round number unless by design.

Megan references {{w|Platonic Idealism}}, which is the theory attributed to Plato that abstract or non-physical Ideas represent the purest, most accurate version of reality, but we can only perceive of more flawed versions of Ideas because of our limited viewpoint (as explained in his Allegory of the Cave). Thus we can understand the concept of a perfect circle or a perfect line, even though we have never seen one, and cannot create one. Megan believes she has glimpsed a Platonic Ideal, because the absolute concept of currency is it is the exact worth of something in trade. Megan is awed because, if this is true, then she is witnessing the next layer of reality, which Plato often compared to heaven.

The harsh difference between being able to buy an apple for a dollar at this quaint store, and having to deal with arbitrary decimals and numbers in the rest of life could be touching on Megan's life experience of the world not being what she was prepared for, resulting in her intense response. Regardless if that is true or not, it seems the cashier is unable to figure out how to handle it (or does not want to), and raises the price to an arbitrary non-rounded value, which has the intended effect of halting Megan's outburst.

Megan's references refer to common parameters used in solving science or math questions. A {{w|Frictionless plane}} is a scenario from the writings of Galileo to calculate the movement of an object down an {{w|inclined plane}}, since his equations did not account for {{w|friction}}.

"A train leaving Chicago at 40 mph" refers to common math questions, involving trains and solving for the distance required to overtake said train, although this problem involves the rather unrealistic assumption that the train's velocity keeps constant. Like the frictionless plane, this is a common simplification that allows the problem to be solved with quite simple techniques, just like having round quantities (e.g. 1 dollar/apple) eases arithmetic problems. See also [[669: Experiment]]. Apples themselves are commonly used as units for math problems, including problems as simple as basic arithmetic.

The comic repeats a common theme in the strip of engineers and computer scientists trying to apply their technical experience to social situations. In this case, the conversation partner is "normal", and does not respond supportively, which is a common situation in the real world and a possible point of empathy with readers.

It seems that according to the title text, Megan only has (or only wants to spend) one dollar, so she would not be able to buy a whole apple at the new price (0.4608 × $2.17 ≈ $1). Stores usually sell whole apples, so asking for a fraction of one is not likely to work out.{{Citation needed}}

There are some stores, such as {{w|Dollar Tree}}, that specialize in selling everything in the store for one dollar per item, which would seems to be operating at that ideal... except they usually do charge sales tax on taxable items leading many sales to not be an even multiple of a dollar. If a store were to charge one dollar per item without charging sales tax, etc. separately (i.e. building the sales tax into the price of each dollar item), they might be able to simplify some operations, such as not dealing with coin change as much (though they would still need to accept coins), cashiers would be able to calculate the total in their heads, etc. Customers other than Megan would probably be happier.

==Transcript==
:[Megan is at the store counter, behind which Ponytail (the cashier) is waiting.]
:Megan: Just this apple, thanks.
:Ponytail: That will be one dollar.
:Megan: Exactly? No tax or anything?
:Ponytail: That's right.

:[Megan stares at the apple in a frameless panel.]

:[Scene zooms in on Megan.]
:Ponytail: ...Is that a problem?
:Megan: It's just weird to realize that every other transaction in my life will be more complicated than this.

:[Scene changes focus to Ponytail behind the counter.]
:Megan: This is like a platonic ideal exchange. An apple for a dollar.
:Ponytail: I see.

:[Scene changes back to Megan, once again lost in profound contemplation of the apple.]
:Megan: Are we on a frictionless plane? Is a train leaving Chicago at 40 mph? ''Should I solve for something??''
:Ponytail: Okay, apples are $2.17 now.
:Megan: That's... probably better for us both.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]

824: Guest Week: Bill Amend (FoxTrot)

2012-09-22T03:57:33Z

Giftofgab: In this case "attractive" means "good looking" or maybe even "beautiful" rather than something about romantic attraction

{{comic
| number = 824
| date = September 24, 2010
| title = Guest Week: Bill Amend (FoxTrot)
| image = guest_week_bill_amend_foxtrot.png
| imagesize =
| titletext = Guest comic by Bill Amend of FoxTrot, an inspiration to all us nerdy-physics-majors-turned-cartoonists, of which there are an oddly large number.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Bill Amend}} draws for [[Randall]] in this special '[[:Category:Guest Week|Guest Week]]' edition of [[xkcd]]. In it, the geeky boy from {{w|FoxTrot}}, {{w|List_of_FoxTrot_characters#Jason_Fox|Jason}}, asks to draw comics for Randall. When Randall refuses, he used the sudo command, used in {{w|Linux}} systems to perform an action as an administrator/power user. This forces Randall to agree. This is a reference to the very popular comic [[149: Sandwich]], which has now become a geek pop culture catch-phrase.

In the first comic, [[Cueball]] is making a pun on the word {{Wiktionary|attractive}}. In the first context it means a person is "good looking" or "beautiful" which the (presumably) female character attributes to her hair. In Cueball's context, it mean that he is feeling an increased gravitational pull from the woman, due to her increase in mass (see {{w|General relativity}}).

{{w|Werner Heisenberg}} postulated in 1927, his eponymous {{w|Uncertainty principle|Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle}}, which states (roughly) that in {{w|quantum mechanics}} one cannot know both the position and momentum of a particle. The joke is that Heisenberg's mother does not know the position of her keys, because she knows too much about their (the keys') momentum (often dumbed down to velocity).

In many {{w|parliament}}ary and {{w|congress}}ionary halls it is customary, when calling an issue to vote to have the people who want the issue at hand to be passed to say out loud that they agree. The customary response to this is to say "{{Wiktionary|Aye}}." The dissenters are then asked. Their response being "{{Wiktionary|Nay}}." Then the volume (by rough {{w|decibel}}s) of the assenters and dissenters are weighed. If it is close, a more formal vote may be called. "Aye" is pronounced as "I" and "''i''" is the mathematical value of the square root of negative one, which can be used to represent an {{w|imaginary number}}.

==Transcript==
:[Jason from FoxTrot is sitting at an artist's desk with a pencil, holding a phone.]
:Jason: Hi, Mr. Munroe? I have a great idea! Let me draw some strips for you!
:Mr. Munroe, through the telephone: Fat chance, kid.

:Jason: Sudo let me draw some strips for you.

:(There follow three strips. These will be separated by double new lines.)

:[A man and woman are looking at each other.]
:Man: I find you more attractive than usual.
:Woman: You do? Is it my new haircut?

:Man: Actually, I think it's all the weight you've been putting on. Your gravitational pull is pretty severe.

:[The man is now alone in the panel.]
:Man: Just sayin!

:[Two people are in a living room. The woman is looking through a chest of drawers.]
:At home with the Heisenbergs
:Mrs. Heisenberg: I can't find my car keys.
:Mr. Heisenberg: You probably know too much about their momentum.

:[A man is standing on a stage, holding up a hammer. A crowd is in front of the stage.]
:Why mathematicians should run for Congress
:House Speaker: All those in favor of the bill say "aye."
:Congressman #1: Aye.
:Congresswoman #2: Aye.
:Congress–Mathematician: [Responds with -1 inside a square root]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

[[Category:Guest Week]]

528: Windows 7

2012-09-04T03:39:47Z

Giftofgab: spelling fix

{{comic
| number = 528
| date = January 1, 2009
| title = Windows 7
| image = windows_7.png
| imagesize =
| titletext = Disclaimer: I have not actually tried the beta yet. I hear it's quite pleasant and hardly Hitler-y at all.
}}

==Explanation==
In this comic, a girl (possibly [[Megan]]) is observing [[Cueball]] use a laptop on which he has installed the Windows 7 beta. However, the alleged Windows 7 beta is showing nothing but a picture of Adolph Hitler and Cueball is unable to do anything. Cueball then presses Control-Alt-Delete (the well-known Windows Secure Attention Sequence which opens Task Manager or displays a list of options which includes 'Shut Down' ahd 'Restart') as suggested by Megan, but only manages to make the picture's eyes flash.

The third panel shows Megan commenting that this Windows 7 beta is better than Windows Vista, to which Cueball agrees. The joke is that Megan deems a mostly non-functional OS better than Windows Vista, which had problems that were mocked in Apple Mac OS TV commercials.

The title text is a disclaimer stating that [[Randall]] has not tried the beta at the time this comic was written, but has heard positive opinions about it.

==Transcript==
:[A girl is standing behind a guy sitting at a desk using his laptop]
:Girl: What are you doing?
:Guy: Trying the Windows 7 beta.
:Girl: Why is it showing a picture of Hitler?
:[The laptop's screen is shown with Adolph Hitler's face on it]
:Guy: I don't know. I can't get it to do anything else.
:Girl: There's no UI?
:Guy: No, just Hitler.
:[Return to the original scene, except the girl is now scratching her head in confusion]
:Girl: Did you try Ctrl-Alt-Delete?
:Guy: It just makes Hitler's eyes flash.
:Girl: Huh.
:[Scene remains basically the same, except the girl is no longer scratching her head and the guy is no longer typing on the laptop]
:Girl: Well, it's better than Vista.
:Guy: True.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

984: Space Launch System

2012-09-03T04:46:12Z

Giftofgab: spelling and grammar changes

{{comic
| number = 984
| date = November 30, 2011
| title = Space Launch System
| image = space_launch_system.png
| imagesize =
| titletext = The SLS head engineer plans to invite Shania Twain to stand under the completed prototype, then tell her, 'I don't expect you to date me just because I'm a rocket scientist, but you've gotta admit--this is pretty fucking impressive.'
}}

==Explanation==
SLS, which stands for {{w|Space Launch System}} (naturally) is the new launch program being designed by {{w|NASA}} to replace the retired {{w|Space Shuttle}} launch system. In the first frame, [[Cueball]] is showing [[Black Hat]] something about the SLS, possibly a video on his phone or other portable electronic device.

As usual with his appearances, Black Hat is causing trouble. Here Black Hat would appear to be telling the truth because {{w|Nazi}}-{{w|Germany}} era scientists like {{w|Wernher von Braun}}, who was one of the developers of the {{w|Saturn V}} launch vehicle, came over to NASA and helped develop NASA's space program.

Black Hat's assumption in the last frame is obviously a bridge too far (which is where the joke is in the comic), but he gets his desired reaction out of Cueball, who is hanging his head.

{{w|Shania Twain}} comes into this comic in the title text because in her song "That Don't Impress Me Much", she sings: "Okay, so you're a rocket scientist / That don't impress me much". But, the title text argues that if she stood under the new SLS prototype, she would admit it was in fact, impressive.

==Transcript==
Person 1: Check out the SLS - 130 tons to orbit. Finally, rockets that improve on the ones we had 40 years ago.

Black Hat Man: Are we getting Nazis to build those ones too?

Person 1, offscreen: What?

Black Hat Man, offscreen: When we first captured von Braun and his team, we had our engineers interview them, then *we* built the rockets. But our rockets kept exploding

[von Braun interviewed by a scientist while under guard]

[The same scientist in front of a spectacularly exploding rocket]

Black Hat Man, narrating: Eventually we gave up and had the German teams do it, and they built us the Saturn V moon rocket.

[The Saturn V gracefully arcing across the night sky]

Person 1: I'm.. not sure what lesson to take from that.

Black Hat Man: "If you want something done right ,learning from the Nazis isn't enough. You have to actually put them in charge.

Person 1: That's a *terrible* lesson.

Black Hat Man: Then I guess you should get a Nazi to come up with a better one.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

496: Secretary: Part 3

2012-08-31T04:39:40Z

Giftofgab: grammar and spelling changes (1 each)

{{comic
| number = 496
| date = October 29, 2008
| title = Secretary: Part 3
| image = secretary_part_3.png
| imagesize =
| titletext = He actually installed each piece in a different car in the lot, then built a new car in the spot from the displaced pieces. It's a confusing maneuver known as the auto-troll shuffle.
}}

==Explanation==
When a person has been appointed to a position by the {{w|POTUS|President}}, they must first go through a confirmation hearing in front of the Congress, where they find if the person is qualified to be in the position they have been appointed to. Of course, [[Black Hat]] is not the cleanest of characters, so Congress has a lot of reservations about his {{w|résumé}}.

* {{w|Starbucks}} is an American "innovation," where coffee simply wasn't made fast enough. So the whole process was streamlined, and now the world is "better" for it.
** He hasn't yet, but in [[562: Parking]] Black Hat will cut someone's car in half to make it fit in a single space. Not quite as dramatic as completely disassembling a car and, as the title text says, putting a single piece in another car parked in the lot, and building a car out of the displaced parts, which could almost be considered subtle; but, it is quite dramatic.
* {{w|Charles M. Schulz}} drew a comic called {{w|Peanuts}}. One of the recurring characters was {{w|Snoopy}} who would often use his doghouse as an imaginary {{w|Sopwith Camel}} in many battles with {{w|Manfred von Richthofen|The Red Baron}} who piloted a {{w|Fokker Dr.I|Red Fokker}} {{w|Triplane}}.
** The {{w|Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade}} is a parade that happens on {{w|Thanksgiving Day (United States)|Thanksgiving Day}} in the US. There are many giant balloons of pop-culture icons. Snoopy has made many appearances.
* {{w|9/11 Truthers}} believe that the terrorist attack on the {{w|World Trade Center}} towers on September 11, 2001 (thus 9/11) was a conspiracy theory purported by the US Government as a cover up. In the comic, Black Hat appears to be mixing 9/11 truthers with {{w|Moon landing conspiracy theories|Moon landing conspiracy theorists}} who believe that {{w|NASA}} never put a {{w|Apollo mission|man on the moon}}.
** Black Hat uses a common refrain [[:Category:Wake Up, Sheeple|Wake up, Sheeple]]
* {{w|Radio Shack}} is a chain of consumer electronics shops that sold parts to build electronics with: resistors, transistors, etc. Apparently Black Hat managed to build a death ray from the parts there and accidentally vaporized a customer.
* {{w|Microsoft}} is the company that makes {{w|Microsoft Windows|Windows}}. {{w|Steve Ballmer}} is the {{w|CEO}} of Microsoft. {{w|Windows Vista}} was the {{w|operating system}} that came between {{w|Windows XP}} and {{w|Windows 7}}, and is considered by most to be a failure.
* Black Hat stole a nuclear submarine in xkcd [[405: Journal 3]] to get his hat back from [[Danish]].
* "Pleading the fifth" is to invoke the {{w|Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fifth Amendment}} of the {{w|United States Bill of Rights}}. Specifically, when someone pleads the fifth, they mean that they cannot be compelled to give testimony against themselves. That is, they do not have to say anything that could be taken as an admission of guilt. The {{w|Third Amendment to the United States Constitution|third amendment}} states that no homeowner has to keep troops of the United States Army in their house against their will. The only sensible time to plead the third would be when a member of the military knocks on the door and tries to gain entry, which is not the middle of a congressional hearing.

==Transcript==
[The confirmation hearings begin...]

Senator: It appears you have quite an arrest record.

Senator: Is it true you completely disassembled someone's car outside a Starbucks?

Hat Guy: It was parked across two spaces.

Senator: You stole a red Fokker triplane and strafed the snoopy float at the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade?

Hat Guy: Got three mimes, too.

Senator: You disrupted a 9

11 truth meeting, insisting the Twin Towers never actually collapsed?

Hat Guy: I have evidence! Don't trust the media! Wake up, sheeple!

Senator: You were fired from Radio Shack after you built a death ray and vaporized a customer?

Hat Guy: I was just testing it! Figures that'd be the one day there was a shopper in the aisle.

Senator: And you were thrown out of Microsoft headquarters for... trying to feed a squirrel through a fax machine?

Hat Guy: I forgot about that! it was part of an argument with Steve Ballmer about Vista.

Which I won, by the way.

Senator: This is the worst history of vandalism, gleeful mayhem, and general recalcitrance we've seen in a nominee since Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Senator: And this--you stole a nuclear submarine?

Hat Guy: I plead the third.

Senator: You mean the fifth?

Hat Guy: No, the third.

Senator: You refuse to quarter troops in your house?

Hat Guy: I have few principles, but I stick to them.

Meanwhile...

[Aboard Ron Paul's blimp]

Pilot: We're nearing Washington, sir.

Wait... There's something ahead on the sensors.

Pilot: It's a balloon.

Ron Paul: ...Oh, no.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]

[[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]

[[Category:Wake Up, Sheeple]]

991: Phantom Menace

2012-08-29T03:09:39Z

Giftofgab:

{{comic
| number = 991
| date = December 16, 2011
| title = Phantom Menace
| image = phantom_menace.png
| imagesize =
| titletext = We could go to the theater across town and see if it's opened THERE yet, but we don't want to lose our place in line.
}}

==Explanation==
Here we have [[Cueball]] and one other unidentified character, who is dressed as Darth Maul. [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Darth_Maul Darth Maul] is a [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Sith_apprentice Sith apprentice] in {{w|Star Wars: The Phantom Menace}}. [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Sith The Sith] are the group of characters in the {{w|Star Wars}} universe who embrace [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_side_of_the_Force the dark side] of [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/The_Force the Force] and are the enemies throughout the series. (Cueball is holding a [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lightsaber lightsaber], which is the weapon used by the [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Jedi Jedi] and the [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Sith Sith]. Jedi are the protagonists in the series.) Cueball and Darth Maul are standing outside what they think is a {{w|Movie theater|theater}} waiting for the {{w|3d movie|3D}} {{w|The phantom menace#3D re-release|edition}} of The Phantom Menace, which (original: looks is being released this February.) [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120915/releaseinfo was released in most countries in February 2012].

However, no one else is waiting with them because the Phantom Menace was {{w|The phantom menace#Reception|one of the worst movies}} in the Star Wars series. It is much maligned because of the inclusion of a new race, [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Gungan the Gungans], and specifically [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Jar_Jar_Binks Jar Jar Binks]. Another criticism is how stilted all the performances are from all the human actors.

Needless to say, not that many people will be seeing the 3D release of The Phantom Menace, which is why Cueball and his friend are the only two in line.

==Transcript==
[Two people -- one in a Darth Maul mask, the other holding a lightsaber, and each holding money in his or her hand -- stand outside a building.]

[They continue to stand there.]

[They continue to stand there.]

[Darth Maul turns to lightsaber guy.]

Darth Maul: Are you sure this place is a theater?

Lightsaber guy: Let's give it one more month.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

498: Secretary: Part 5

2012-08-29T02:59:36Z

Giftofgab: "not" to "note" and some grammar changes

{{comic
| number = 498
| date = October 31, 2008
| title = Secretary: Part 5
| image = secretary_part_5.png
| imagesize =
| titletext = And they choose Al Gore as Internet Secretary.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the 5<sup>th</sup> and final comic in the Secretary story-arc. [[Black Hat]] is up to his usual shenanigans. Most of the comic happens in the {{w|United States Senate chamber|US Senate chamber room}}.

Of course, [[Playpen balls|playpen balls]] have been the topic of many comics before. Notably [[150: Grownups]].

The other reference of note is of the {{w|Tron (movie)|Tron}} universe. {{w|Tron (video game)|Tron}} was an arcade game in the 1980s, from which Disney created a movie. The characters would play on a grid in lightcycles which left behind walls of light. The objective of the game was to force the opponent to run into the wall of light, similar to the {{w|Snake (game)|Snake game}}.

==Transcript==
{The Senate. Hat Guy sits before the committee at his hearing to become Internet Secretary.}

Chairman: We were convened here to review your nomination for the position of internet secretary.

Chairman: However, on review of your qualifications, we've decided to sentence you to death.

Chairman: An unorthodox move, sure. But the vote was unanimous.

{Hat Guy is leaning back in his chair.}

[Meanwhile . . .]

Tron Paul: There's no grid! How do I steeeeer!!!!!

{Back at the Senate. Hat Guy is standing.}

Hat Guy: Well, it's been fun. But I was never actually interested in taking the position. Good lord; listening to internet arguments all day? No thank you.

Chairman: Then why did you sit through all those hearings

Hat Guy: It was taking us a while to move the pumps into the maintenance tunnels.

{The committee members murmur among themselves.}

{There is a panel in the floor between Hat Guy and the committee.}

<<RUMBLE>>

<<plink>> <<plink>>

{A red playpen ball bursts out of the panel and rolls towards the committee chairman.}

<<plink>>

{The room is still. Hat Guy's arms are folded.}

{A geyser of red, white, and blue playpen balls bursts through the panel in the floor. Hat Guy is already gone.}

<<FOOM>>

{The committee members chase Hat Guy out the door as the Senate floor floods with playpen balls.}

{The chase continues into the rotunda, as does the flood of playpen balls.}

{Hat Guy stands in the middle of the rotunda as it fills with playpen balls, surrounded by members of the committee.}

Committee Members: Security! Someone!

Committee Members: Get Him!

{Tron Paul bursts through the wall.}

<<CRASH>>

Tron Paul: Aaaaa!

{Hat Guy grabs the bottom of the lightcycle as Tron Paul goes by.}

<<snag>>

Tron Paul: Hey!

{Hat Guy swings onto the top of the light cycle.}

{Hat Guy crouches on top of the light cycle.}

Tron Paul: Get Off!

{Tron Paul and Hat Guy crash through the far wall of the rotunda.}

<<CRASH>>

{Tron Paul hits the ground.}

<<WHAM>>

Tron Paul: Ow!

{Hat Guy runs away.}

Tron Paul: Ughhh.

{The lightcycle disappears.}

Tron Paul: I feel queasy . . .

Cory Doctorow, above: Hey!

Hat Guy: Hi, Cory.

Cory Doctorow: Need a lift?

Hat Guy: Sure.

{Hat Guy and Cory Doctorow depart in Doctorow's balloon.}

Cory Doctorow: So are you, like, a fugitive now?

Hat Guy: Well, I never did give them my name . . .

[But in the rotunda]

{Senators play in the playpen balls.}

Senators: Let's jump down here from the balcony!

Senators: Senior senators first!

Senators: Wheeee!

Senators: I'm a submarine!

[All is forgiven.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]

[[Category:Comics featuring Cory Doctorow]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]

[[Category:Playpen balls]]