1256: Questions

2013-08-27T19:55:45Z

Gloves12:

{{comic
| number = 1256
| date = August 26, 2013
| title = Questions
| image = questions.png
| titletext = To whoever typed 'why is arwen dying': GOOD. FUCKING. QUESTION.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete}}
{{w|Google}}, a rather popular internet search engine, has a feature known as [https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/106230?hl=en autocomplete] that guesses at search queries before they are fully typed out. These guesses are generally made based on popular searches by other people. From time to time, a particularly strange or hilarious one may be found, as is evidenced in this comic.

All of the questions in the comic are "why" questions, so many of them are predicated on false assumptions, such as "Why are there pyramids on the moon".

Regarding the title text: in the Peter Jackson films of {{w|The Lord of the Rings (film series)|''The Lord of the Rings'' trilogy}}, Arwen becomes sickly for unspecified reasons as the plot advances, apparently giving Aragorn a more personal reason to fight. The only explanation given is by Elrond, who says "As Sauron's power grows, her [Arwen's] strength wanes." (This subplot is entirely absent from the {{w|The Lord of the Rings|original novels}}.)

From [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0167260/faq#.2.1.21 IMDB]: <blockquote>
Arwen, like her father (and brothers) is considered to be a Half-Elf, the result of a union between an Elf and a mortal human. The Half-Elven of Middle-earth get a choice, to remain immortal and return to the West (Valinor) or to become mortal and to die as humans do. Elrond chose to remain an Elf. Arwen (like her uncle Elros) chooses to become mortal in order to wed and remain with Aragorn. Elrond senses this; this is what he means when he says that Arwen is dying. It is the same as in The Last Unicorn, when the unicorn is given the form of a human woman and can feel that she is no longer immortal ("I can feel this body dying all around me"). According to Tolkien, though, after Aragorn dies in the year 120 (Fourth Age), Arwen returns to Lórien, where she dies by choice the following winter. </blockquote>

;Selected answers
(Some questions in the transcript are linked to their answers.)
{| class ="wikitable"
|-
!style="width:20%;"|Question !! Possible answer
|-
| Why is there not a Pokémon MMO? || {{w|Pokémon}} is a popular franchise, spanning game consoles, anime series, a trading card game, and many other things. Among fans, it is a frequent topic of discussion why a Pokémon {{w|massively multiplayer online game}} has not been officially announced by the series' developers {{w|Game Freak}}, as they often [http://www.dorkly.com/comic/52546/be-careful-what-you-wish-for predict] that such a game would be extremely popular, and bring in massive revenue for the company.
|-
|Why is there laughing in TV shows? || Sitcoms were once filmed with an audience, so the actors could respond to their reactions. That's the historical reason why there were laughs in TV shows. The tradition held until today, with the difference that now the laughter mostly comes from {{w|Laugh track|recorded tapes}}.
|-
| Why are ducks called ducks? || {{W|wikt:duck|According to Wiktionary}}, the noun ''duck'' can be traced back to the {{w|Proto-Germanic language|Proto-Germanic}} word {{w|wikt:Appendix:Proto-Germanic/dūkaną|''dūkaną''}} ("to dive, bend down"), and, in turn, the {{w|Proto-Indo-European language|Proto-Indo-European}} {{w|wikt:Appendix:Proto-Indo-European/dʰewb-|''dʰewb-''}} ("deep, hollow"), which is the origin of the verb ''to duck''. The link between the noun and the verb comes from ducks' tendency to dive under water for short periods of time.
|-
| Why are there male and female bikes? || {{w|bicycle|From Wikipedia}}: <blockquote>Historically, women's bicycle frames had a top tube that connected in the middle of the seat tube instead of the top, resulting in a lower {{w|Frame geometry|standover height}} at the expense of compromised structural integrity, since this places a strong bending load in the seat tube, and bicycle frame members are typically weak in bending. This design, referred to as a '''''{{w|step-through frame}}''''' or as an ''open frame'', allows the rider to mount and dismount in a dignified way while wearing a skirt or dress.</blockquote>
|-
| Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus? || {{w|Poseidon}} was the patron deity of the city of {{w|Troy}}, which after a 10 years siege by the Greeks fell due to {{w|Odysseus}}' list of the {{w|Trojan_Horse|Trojan horse}}. As the Greeks were returning home, Poseidon cursed Odysseus' ship to prevent him from reaching his home in {{W|Ithaca}}. The adventures which Odysseus encounters during his quest for reaching Ithaca are the main theme of {{w|Homer|Homer's}} {{w|Odyssey}}.
|-
| Why are there two Spocks? || This is probably a reference to the {{w|Star_Trek_(film)|2009 Star Trek movie}} in which the franchise was given a {{w|Reboot_(fiction)|continuity reboot}}. The modified setting is explained in-universe by time travel, with both the villain Nero and the original-timeline Spock being brought back from the 24th century to the 23rd, creating a timeline in which both older Spock (played by Leonard Nimoy) and the younger Spock (played by Zachary Quinto) coexist.

Another possibility is that the question refers to the episode {{w|Mirror,_Mirror_(Star_Trek:_The_Original_Series)|"Mirror, Mirror"}}, which mostly takes place in an alternate universe populated by ruthless versions of most of the characters (including Spock).
|-
| Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America? || ''Further information: {{w|United States military deployments}}''This is a very interesting question, albeit one likely based on a regional misunderstanding. Presumably, this question is asked by Americans who assume that the existence of {{w|Category:Military facilities of the United States by country|U.S. military bases abroad}} is a general trend among countries, as opposed to being the rarity that it is. In fact, {{w|List of countries with overseas military bases|only a handful of other countries}} have military bases outside of their borders, and the three—{{w|France}}, the {{w|United Kingdom}}, and {{w|Russia}}—that have more than one or two are all countries that, like the United States, {{w|Allies of World War II|were on the winning side of World War II}}, have {{w|List of countries by military expenditures|massive military expenditures}}, and have {{w|United Nations Security Council veto power|UN Security Council vetoes}}. In other words, only the most militarily elite countries have bases overseas. The U.S. is unique, however, in that it has far more overseas bases than any other country (and, pretty much, far more of anything else than any other country, when it comes to the military), and in that {{w|List of United States military bases|it has bases in several other highly-industrialized nations}}, including {{w|List of United States Army installations in South Korea|South Korea}} and the United Kingdom, and, most notably, the World War II {{w|Axis powers}}: {{w|List of United States Army installations in Germany|Germany}}, {{w|United States Forces Japan|Japan}}, and {{w|List of United States Army installations in Italy|Italy}}. (France, Russia, and the U.K.'s bases, on the other hand, are almost all within areas that they previously controlled.)These bases can be controversial in some countries, while in others they are a major source of economic and political stability. The U.S. traditionally justifies their presence as a necessary and crucial element in its efforts to promote peace domestically and worldwide. Despite their major role in {{w|U.S. foreign policy}}, and in the general political structure of the globe, the American public often largely ignores them, and they rarely become a major political issue (apart from an occasional mention by {{w|Libertarian Party (United States)|Libertarian presidential candidates}}).So, essentially, the absence of foreign military bases within the U.S. is primarily because there aren't really any other countries in a position to place bases there. Furthermore, such bases wouldn't do much good, as no battles have been fought within the U.S. since the since the {{w|U.S. Civil War}} and the U.S. mainland has seen {{w|Mainland invasion of the United States|almost no military action}}. (The {{w|attack on Pearl Harbor}} in 1941 was 18 years before Hawaii became a U.S. state.)
|-
| Why is there no king in England? || ''Note: For simplicity's sake, "England" here is being read as "Britain."''The basis for this question is that for the past several hundred years, there has almost always been a queen in England, the sole exceptions being when the king has not had a wife. However, there is a distinction between being the queen of England (that is to say, {{w|List of British monarchs|a monarch}}) and being the {{w|queen consort|queen ''consort''}} of England: The former refers to a woman who {{w|Succession to the British throne|succeeded to the throne}} in her own right, becoming sovereign, while the latter refers to the wife of the king. Both roles, though, are commonly referred to as "Queen of England," creating the impression that there is always such a person. The logical question, therefore, is why {{w|Elizabeth II}}'s husband, {{w|Prince Philip|Philip}}, is not considered the king of England. The answer lies in Britain's system of {{w|male-preference cognatic primogeniture}}, which causes the monarch of England to usually be a man, not a woman. As a result of this, British laws were generally built around the presumption that the monarch would be a man (and that said man would be married to a woman, [[223: Valentine's Day|comic 223]] be damned). Since the creation of the modern British throne in 1707, only two women have reigned as queen in their own right; it just so happens that these two women have been two of the most famous and longest-reigning monarchs in world history, {{w|Queen Victoria}} and Queen Elizabeth II. This fact may add to people's enhanced perception of the lack of a British king. Victoria and Elizabeth's respective consorts, {{w|Albert, Prince Consort|Albert}} and Philip, have been styled as princes—Albert as {{w|Prince Consort}} and Philip as "{{w|British prince|Prince of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland}}." Both were explicitly granted their titles by their wives, though Albert was already a prince of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, and Philip had previously been a prince of Denmark and Greece, but had renounced both titles before marrying Elizabeth.The title {{w|king consort}} also exists, but has never been used in the United Kingdom.Notably, should {{w|Prince Charles}} succeed to his mother's throne, it has been announced that his wife, {{w|Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall|Camilla}}, will be styled as {{w|princess consort}}, ''not'' as queen consort, just as she has declined the title {{w|Princess of Wales}}, which is strongly associated with Charles's first wife, {{w|Princess Diana|Diana}}. Assuming that Charles succeeds, this means that Britain will not have anyone referred to as "queen," after decades of not having anyone referred to as "king."
|-
| Why are there female Mr. Mimes? || {{w|Mr. Mime}} is a Pokémon introduced in the first generation of the games, and despite its name, it can be either of a male or female gender. As the Pokémon was introduced before the concept of [http://www.bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Gender gender in Pokémon games], it is likely that the people in charge of translating its Japanese name (Barrierd) did not take this into account during the process.
|-
| Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN || From a Minnesota Paper, [http://www.startribune.com/local/138902104.html the Star Tribune], "Laws prevent the city from poisoning the crows". "Duffy [Steve Duffy, a co-owner of U.S. Bird Abatement Services, which has contracted with Rochester to get rid of the crows] isn't sure why Rochester has such a bad crow problem; probably a confluence of many bird-friendly conditions that has also made it a magnet for geese. He's seen worse cases, but called Rochester's situation 'hideous.'" And best of all, "The city has twice this winter hired experts to chase them off. They tried lasers and bullhorns -- hey, get out of here, you crows -- and even employed raptors to pick them off, one by one. That worked, for awhile." (Unfortunately, they mean a {{w|bird of prey}}, not a {{w|velociraptor}}).
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}
:Questions found in Google autocomplete
===Section one===
*Why do whales jump
*{{w|Wizard of Oz|Why are witches green}}
*Why are there mirrors above beds
*Why do I say Uh
*Why is sea salt better
*Why are there trees in the middle of fields
*Why is there not a Pokemon MMO
*Why is there laughing in TV shows
*Why are there doors on the freeway
*{{w|svchost.exe|Why are there so many svchost.exe running}}
*Why aren't there any countries in Antarctica
*Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft
*[http://www.webmd.com/baby/fetal-movement-feeling-baby-kick Why is there kicking in my stomach]
*[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1220286/Sir-Tim-Berners-Lee-admits-forward-slashes-web-address-mistake.html Why are there two slashes after http]
*Why are there celebrities
*Why do snakes exist
*{{w|Pearl#Creation_of_a_pearl|Why do oysters have pearls}}
*{{w|Duck#Etymology|Why are ducks called ducks}}
*Why do they call it the clap
*Why are Kyle and Cartman friends
*{{w|Avatar: The Last Airbender#Characters|Why is there an arrow on Aang's head}}
*Why are text messages blue
*Why are there mustaches on clothes
*Why are there mustaches on cars
*Why are there mustaches everywhere
*Why are there so many birds in Ohio
*Why is there so much rain in Ohio
*{{w|Lake-effect snow|Why is Ohio weather so weird}}

===Section two===
*Why are there male and female bikes
*{{w|Bridesmaid#Origin and history|Why are there bridesmaids}}
*Why do dying people reach up
*Why aren't there varicose arteries
*{{w|Klingon#Redesign|Why are old Klingons different}}
:Beret Guy (with squirrel): Why are there squirrels
*Why is programming so hard
*{{w|Zero-ohm_link|Why is there a 0 Ohm resistor}}
*Why do Americans hate soccer
*Why do rhymes sound good
*Why do trees die
*Why is there no sound on CNN
*Why aren't Pokemon real
*Why aren't bullets sharp
*Why do dreams seem so real

===Section three===
*Why do testicles move
*Why are there psychics
*Why are hats so expensive
*Why is there caffeine in my shampoo
*Why do your boobs hurt
===Section four===
*Why aren't economists rich
*Why do Americans call it soccer
*Why are my ears ringing
*Why are there so many Avengers
*Why are the Avengers fighting the X-Men
*Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers
===Section five===
*Why are there ants in my laptop
*Why is Earth tilted
*{{w|Olbers' paradox|Why is space black}}
*Why is outer space so cold
*Why are there pyramids on the Moon
*Why is NASA shutting down

===Section six===
*Why are there tiny spiders in my house
*Why do spiders come inside
*Why are there huge spiders in my house
*Why are there lots of spiders in my house
*Why are there spiders in my room
*Why are there so many spiders in my room
*Why do spider bites itch
*Why is dying so scary
===Section seven===
*Why is there no GPS in laptops
*Why do knees click
*Why aren't there E grades
*Why is isolation bad
*Why do boys like me
*Why don't boys like me
*Why is there always a Java update
*Why are there red dots on my thighs
*Why is lying good
:Cueball: Why is sex so important
===Section eight===
*{{w|The Bible and slavery|Why are there slaves in The Bible}}
*[http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2004/11/04/1234875.htm Why do twins have different fingerprints]
*Why are Americans afraid of dragons

===Section nine===
*Why are there swarms of gnats
*Why is there phlegm
===Section ten===
*Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN
*[http://pokemon.wikia.com/wiki/Pok%C3%A9mon_Types Why is Psychic weak to Bug]
*Why do children get cancer
*Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus
*Why is there ice in space
===Section eleven===
:Megan (with ghosts): Why are there ghosts
*Why is there an owl in my backyard
*Why is there an owl outside my window
*Why is there an owl on the dollar bill
*Why do owls attack people
*Why are AK47s so expensive
===Section twelve===
*Why are there helicopters circling my house
*Why are there gods
*Why are there two Spocks
===Section thirteen===
*Why is Mt Vesuvius there
*Why do they say T Minus
*Why are there obelisks
*Why are wrestlers always wet
*Why are oceans becoming more acidic
*Why is Arwen dying
*Why aren't my quail laying eggs
*Why aren't my quail eggs hatching
*Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America
===Section fourteen===
*Why is https crossed out in red
*Why is there a line through https
*Why is there a red line through https on Facebook
*Why is https important
:Cueball: Why aren't my arms growing
===Section fifteen===
*Why are my boobs itchy
*Why are cigarettes legal
*Why are the ducks in my pool
*Why is Jesus white
*Why is there liquid in my ear
*Why do Q Tips feel good
*Why do good people die
:Ponytail: Why aren't there guns in Harry Potter
*Why are ultrasounds important
*Why are ultrasound machines expensive
*Why is stealing wrong

===Vertical questions===
:(The following are vertical.)
*{{w|Seven-day_week#Origins|Why are there weeks}}
*Why do I feel dizzy
*Why is {{w|YKK Group|YKK}} on all zippers
*Why are trees tall
*Why do iguanas die
*Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts
*Why are dogs afraid of fireworks
*Why is there no king in England
*Why is life so boring
*Why is there lava
*[http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?285504-Why-can-Mr-Mime-be-female Why are there female Mr Mimes]
*[http://gis.stackexchange.com/a/17546 Why is GPS free]
*Why is there Hell if God forgives

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Pokémon]]

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1256: Questions