explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1363: xkcd Phone

2014-05-02T05:34:49Z

Horcrux: /* Explanation */ missing comma

{{comic
| number = 1363
| date = May 2, 2014
| title = xkcd Phone
| image = xkcd_phone.png
| titletext = Presented in partnership with Qualcomm, Craigslist, Whirlpool, Hostess, LifeStyles, and the US Chamber of Commerce. Manufactured on equipment which also processes peanuts. Price includes 2-year Knicks contract. Phone may extinguish nearby birthday candles. If phone ships with Siri, return immediately; do not speak to her and ignore any instructions she gives. Do not remove lead casing. Phone may attract/trap insects; this is normal. Volume adjustable (requires root). If you experience sudden tingling, nausea, or vomiting, perform a factory reset immediately. Do not submerge in water; phone will drown. Exterior may be frictionless. Prolonged use can cause mood swings, short-term memory loss, and seizures. Avert eyes while replacing battery. Under certain circumstances, wireless transmitter may control God.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page.}}

This comic is a parody of a multitude of mobile-technology related issues that, when brought together, create a general satire of smartphone advertising. The advertised features here either make previously useful capabilities useless or add features nobody wants.

From bottom left, going clockwise:

Flightaware partnership - This is a parody of flight mode, a capability most smart phones have. When activated, flight mode disables all transmission and receiving capabilities, making the phone suitable for use while on commercial flights. Flightaware partnership, by contrast, is an intrusive presumably airline-sponsored capability that no one wants.

Realistic case– possibly a joke on various audiovisual devices like gaming consoles that advertise realistic sound, graphics, etc. Of course, applying "realistic" to an actual physical case is ridiculous. Either the case is actually real, or it doesn't actually function as a case.

Clear screen– This is a pointless descriptor from the perspective of the consumer. Of course the screen is clear. This joke works in tandem with the previous joke, as a play on "clear case, realistic screen," which are both hypothetically viable selling points.

Side Facing Camera – There was a recent controversy surrounding a kickstarter for a surreptitious, side-mounted camera device for smartphones due to the advertisement of the device as a good way to take creep shots, which are illegal in many places. Widespread dissemination of these devices as a built in would likely result in a sharp increase in delinquency of this nature.

Custom blend OS – iOS and Android are offered by different conglomerates and run on different kernels. A "custom blend" would probably be a nightmare to work with.

Simulates alternate speeds of light - This renders the clock useless. The speed of light is roughly 3 meters per second, far greater than 100 miles an hour. The adjustment for phone acceleration is also useless. While very high speeds can affect how time is perceived, normal daily use of a cellphone does not entail anything that would have a significant relativistic effect on the accuracy of clock time.

Wireless - as in cordless phone. This is the bare minimum a phone has to have in order to be a mobile phone, so advertising it as a feature feels dated by decades. Or, perhaps Munroe is implying the entire phone is without wires, in which case it wouldn't function.

Accelerometer screams in free fall– Another useless function. Rather than having some sort of feature to prevent breakage or cracking when a drop is detected, the phone just makes you more aware of its potential imminent doom.

When exposed to light, phone says "hi" - Bait and switch, and also a build from the previous joke. The implied feature is that the screen or camera will automatically adjust, but instead the phone is weirdly anthropomorphized.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}

{{comic discussion}}

1363: xkcd Phone

2014-05-02T05:33:50Z

Horcrux: /* Explanation */ Added explanation for comic, but not Alt-text.

{{comic
| number = 1363
| date = May 2, 2014
| title = xkcd Phone
| image = xkcd_phone.png
| titletext = Presented in partnership with Qualcomm, Craigslist, Whirlpool, Hostess, LifeStyles, and the US Chamber of Commerce. Manufactured on equipment which also processes peanuts. Price includes 2-year Knicks contract. Phone may extinguish nearby birthday candles. If phone ships with Siri, return immediately; do not speak to her and ignore any instructions she gives. Do not remove lead casing. Phone may attract/trap insects; this is normal. Volume adjustable (requires root). If you experience sudden tingling, nausea, or vomiting, perform a factory reset immediately. Do not submerge in water; phone will drown. Exterior may be frictionless. Prolonged use can cause mood swings, short-term memory loss, and seizures. Avert eyes while replacing battery. Under certain circumstances, wireless transmitter may control God.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page.}}

This comic is a parody of a multitude of mobile-technology related issues that when brought together, create a general satire of smartphone advertising. The advertised features here either make previously useful capabilities useless or add features nobody wants.

From bottom left, going clockwise:

Flightaware partnership - This is a parody of flight mode, a capability most smart phones have. When activated, flight mode disables all transmission and receiving capabilities, making the phone suitable for use while on commercial flights. Flightaware partnership, by contrast, is an intrusive presumably airline-sponsored capability that no one wants.

Realistic case– possibly a joke on various audiovisual devices like gaming consoles that advertise realistic sound, graphics, etc. Of course, applying "realistic" to an actual physical case is ridiculous. Either the case is actually real, or it doesn't actually function as a case.

Clear screen– This is a pointless descriptor from the perspective of the consumer. Of course the screen is clear. This joke works in tandem with the previous joke, as a play on "clear case, realistic screen," which are both hypothetically viable selling points.

Side Facing Camera – There was a recent controversy surrounding a kickstarter for a surreptitious, side-mounted camera device for smartphones due to the advertisement of the device as a good way to take creep shots, which are illegal in many places. Widespread dissemination of these devices as a built in would likely result in a sharp increase in delinquency of this nature.

Custom blend OS – iOS and Android are offered by different conglomerates and run on different kernels. A "custom blend" would probably be a nightmare to work with.

Simulates alternate speeds of light - This renders the clock useless. The speed of light is roughly 3 meters per second, far greater than 100 miles an hour. The adjustment for phone acceleration is also useless. While very high speeds can affect how time is perceived, normal daily use of a cellphone does not entail anything that would have a significant relativistic effect on the accuracy of clock time.

Wireless - as in cordless phone. This is the bare minimum a phone has to have in order to be a mobile phone, so advertising it as a feature feels dated by decades. Or, perhaps Munroe is implying the entire phone is without wires, in which case it wouldn't function.

Accelerometer screams in free fall– Another useless function. Rather than having some sort of feature to prevent breakage or cracking when a drop is detected, the phone just makes you more aware of its potential imminent doom.

When exposed to light, phone says "hi" - Bait and switch, and also a build from the previous joke. The implied feature is that the screen or camera will automatically adjust, but instead the phone is weirdly anthropomorphized.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}

{{comic discussion}}