explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

2973: Ferris Wheels

2024-08-19T17:57:48Z

Joe Perez: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2973
| date = August 16, 2024
| title = Ferris Wheels
| image = ferris_wheels_2x.png
| imagesize = 624x280px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = They left the belt drive in place but switched which wheel was powered, so people could choose between a regular ride, a long ride, and a REALLY long ride.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BELT POWERED BY A DIFFERENT WIKI PAGE IN ORDER TO KEEP THIS ONE GOING - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic depicts an attempted connection of three {{w|Ferris wheel}}s using a {{w|Belt (mechanical)|mechanical belt drive}}, a system typically used to transfer motion between rotating shafts. By connecting the wheels at different circumferences, the relative motion is geared up or down. If the belt passes around the circumference of one wheel and is connected around the hub of another, the latter will rotate significantly faster. In this case, the second wheel's circumference is in turn connected to a third wheel's hub, resulting in even greater rotational velocity. However, this setup is mechanically unsound and possibly dangerous, as Ferris wheels are not intended to be connected in this way.{{cn}} As shown, the first wheel on the left is running at a normal speed, while the other two are rotating increasingly fast, leading to a potentially hazardous situation where passengers are flung around to various (possibly {{w|G-force#Human tolerance|quite hazardous}}) extents.

Ferris wheels can vary widely in size and speed of rotation, but for illustration, let us assume a diameter of about 200 feet (60 m) and a pretty sedate speed of around 10 minutes per full rotation. The apparent ratio between the connected wheels in the comic is approximately 12.5:1, meaning the motion is significantly sped up as it’s transferred. The second Ferris wheel, driven by the first, could spin at around 1.3 rpm, with passengers moving at 9 mph (14 km/h), giving a more exciting ride, but not inherently dangerous, depending on how the wheel and its carriages are engineered. However, when this motion is further transferred to the third Ferris wheel, it could spin at 16 rpm, with passengers traveling at over 110 mph (180 km/h), subjecting them to 8 Gs of force—conditions that would be hazardous.

In reality, since the motor for the first wheel would have been selected only with driving that single wheel in mind, it's unlikely that it would be able to power the additional two wheels moving at increased speeds, and would struggle to move them at all, unless Randall has also made modifications in this area to compensate.

In the caption [[Randall]] says that he was fired for this ill-advised modification, highlighting the impracticality and dangers of the idea. A cruise line also fired the cartoonist due to an unsound engineering proposal earlier in [[2935: Ocean Loop]].

The title text imagines the consequences of leaving the belt drive system in place but switching which wheel is powered. If the most extreme wheel (the third one on the right) is powered, the gearing would be reversed, making for a possibly pleasant and normal ride on the right-hand wheel, but rendering the experiences of the riders on the other two wheels far too slow for an enjoyable carnival ride. One revolution of the center wheel might take two hours and five minutes, while the left wheel would take more than a day (twenty-six hours to be exact)  per revolution.    This exaggerates the impracticality and unintended effects of using a belt drive system to link up Ferris wheels, illustrating how such an idea would lead to absurdly varied ride experiences.

Randall has previously explored the limits of the human body's tolerance for acceleration in ''What If # 116 "No Rules NASCAR"'' [https://what-if.xkcd.com/116/].

==Transcript==
:[Three Ferris wheels are shown side by side, with some people stood on the ground for scale. Each of the first two wheels has a belt connecting its circumference to the axle of the wheel to its right. "Agitrons" indicate that the middle wheel is turning notably faster than the left wheel, with the gondolas seen to be rocking significantly at all points round the wheel. The spokes of the right wheel are completely replaced by "motion lines", indicating that the the right wheel is turning the fastest of all. All its gondolas are hanging outwards against centripetal force, interspersed with their own motion lines.]

:[Caption below the panel:]
:The county fair fired me for adding a belt drive to the Ferris wheels.

==Trivia==
The first (slowest) wheel can be seen to notably lack a 'spoke' at approximately the five o'clock position, supporting the point where its respective passenger seating is hung. Clearly, however, the wheel design is strong enough to withstand much greater forces in the other two versions of the wheel (which appears to be complete in the case of the second, though the thin spokes are only seen as blurs in the third wheel) suggesting that there may not be significant danger from this omission. It does not bode well, however, for general {{w|Occupational Safety and Health Administration|OSHA compliance}} in how they erect/maintain the rides, even before the belt-drive idea added its own issues.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Engineering]]

2973: Ferris Wheels

2024-08-19T17:54:45Z

Joe Perez:

{{comic
| number = 2973
| date = August 16, 2024
| title = Ferris Wheels
| image = ferris_wheels_2x.png
| imagesize = 624x280px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = They left the belt drive in place but switched which wheel was powered, so people could choose between a regular ride, a long ride, and a REALLY long ride.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BELT POWERED BY A DIFFERENT WIKI PAGE IN ORDER TO KEEP THIS ONE GOING - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic depicts an attempted connection of three {{w|Ferris wheel}}s using a {{w|Belt (mechanical)|mechanical belt drive}}, a system typically used to transfer motion between rotating shafts. By connecting the wheels at different circumferences, the relative motion is geared up or down. If the belt passes around the circumference of one wheel and is connected around the hub of another, the latter will rotate significantly faster. In this case, the second wheel's circumference is in turn connected to a third wheel's hub, resulting in even greater rotational velocity. However, this setup is mechanically unsound and possibly dangerous, as Ferris wheels are not intended to be connected in this way.{{cn}} As shown, the first wheel on the left is running at a normal speed, while the other two are rotating increasingly fast, leading to a potentially hazardous situation where passengers are flung around to various (possibly {{w|G-force#Human tolerance|quite hazardous}}) extents.

Ferris wheels can vary widely in size and speed of rotation, but for illustration, let us assume a diameter of about 200 feet (60 m) and a pretty sedate speed of around 10 minutes per full rotation. The apparent ratio between the connected wheels in the comic is approximately 12.5:1, meaning the motion is significantly sped up as it’s transferred. The second Ferris wheel, driven by the first, could spin at around 1.3 rpm, with passengers moving at 9 mph (14 km/h), giving a more exciting ride, but not inherently dangerous, depending on how the wheel and its carriages are engineered. However, when this motion is further transferred to the third Ferris wheel, it could spin at 16 rpm, with passengers traveling at over 110 mph (180 km/h), subjecting them to 8 Gs of force—conditions that would be hazardous.

In reality, since the motor for the first wheel would have been selected only with driving that single wheel in mind, it's unlikely that it would be able to power the additional two wheels moving at increased speeds, and would struggle to move them at all, unless Randall has also made modifications in this area to compensate.

In the caption [[Randall]] says that he was fired for this ill-advised modification, highlighting the impracticality and dangers of the idea. A cruise line also fired the cartoonist due to an unsound engineering proposal earlier in [[2935: Ocean Loop]].

The title text imagines the consequences of leaving the belt drive system in place but switching which wheel is powered. If the most extreme wheel (the third one on the right) is powered, the gearing would be reversed, making for a possibly pleasant and normal ride on the right-hand wheel, but rendering the experiences of the riders on the other two wheels far too slow for an enjoyable carnival ride. One revolution of the center wheel might take two hours and five minutes, while the left wheel would take more than a day (twenty-six hours to be exact)  per revolution.    This exaggerates the impracticality and unintended effects of using a belt drive system to link up Ferris wheels, illustrating how such an idea would lead to absurdly varied ride experiences.

Randall has previously explored the limits of the human body's tolerance for acceleration ''What If # 116 "No Rules NASCAR"'' [https://what-if.xkcd.com/116/].

==Transcript==
:[Three Ferris wheels are shown side by side, with some people stood on the ground for scale. Each of the first two wheels has a belt connecting its circumference to the axle of the wheel to its right. "Agitrons" indicate that the middle wheel is turning notably faster than the left wheel, with the gondolas seen to be rocking significantly at all points round the wheel. The spokes of the right wheel are completely replaced by "motion lines", indicating that the the right wheel is turning the fastest of all. All its gondolas are hanging outwards against centripetal force, interspersed with their own motion lines.]

:[Caption below the panel:]
:The county fair fired me for adding a belt drive to the Ferris wheels.

==Trivia==
The first (slowest) wheel can be seen to notably lack a 'spoke' at approximately the five o'clock position, supporting the point where its respective passenger seating is hung. Clearly, however, the wheel design is strong enough to withstand much greater forces in the other two versions of the wheel (which appears to be complete in the case of the second, though the thin spokes are only seen as blurs in the third wheel) suggesting that there may not be significant danger from this omission. It does not bode well, however, for general {{w|Occupational Safety and Health Administration|OSHA compliance}} in how they erect/maintain the rides, even before the belt-drive idea added its own issues.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Engineering]]

Talk:2850: Doctor's Office

2023-11-06T18:03:26Z

Joe Perez:

Why wouldn't Randal post this on a Monday instead of a Friday?[[Special:Contributions/162.158.166.65|162.158.166.65]] 22:05, 3 November 2023 (UTC)

added transccccccccc [[User:Certified_nqh|Me]][[[285: Wikipedian Protester|''citation needed'']]][[Category:Pages using the "citation needed" template]] 22:06, 3 November 2023 (UTC)

Should [[699: Trimester]] be mentioned in the explanation anywhere?--[[Special:Contributions/172.69.58.190|172.69.58.190]] 02:11, 4 November 2023 (UTC)
:eh. probably. [[User:Certified_nqh|Me]][[[285: Wikipedian Protester|''citation needed'']]][[Category:Pages using the "citation needed" template]] 02:15, 4 November 2023 (UTC)

Here before fans inevitably figure out which crossword number it is [[User:SomeoneIGuess|someone, i guess]]([[User talk:SomeoneIGuess|talk i guess]]|[[Special:Contributions/SomeoneIGuess|le edit list]]) 02:45, 4 November 2023 (UTC)

What terms, exactly, are malapropisms in the second panel? Did someone misuse a fancy word and nobody else bother to check it's meaning, or is there something I'm missing? [[User:DL Draco Rex|DL Draco Rex]] ([[User talk:DL Draco Rex|talk]]) 04:10, 4 November 2023 (UTC)
:You are correct. A "malaprop" is susing a word that sounds similar to the correct word. Beret Guy is just misunderstanding.[[User:Nitpicking|Nitpicking]] ([[User talk:Nitpicking|talk]]) 11:42, 4 November 2023 (UTC)

Rearranged the section about other similar comics, and added 1471 [Gut Fauna]. 699 [Trimester] is the only one explicitly confirmed to be an impostor. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.22.223|172.69.22.223]] 07:09, 4 November 2023 (UTC)

Although I'm really very good at US/UK English differences, "doctor's office" always wrongfoots me. As doctors have surgeries, not offices, it adds to the overall feel of "not really a proper doctor" in the comic. [[User:Yorkshire Pudding|Yorkshire Pudding]] ([[User talk:Yorkshire Pudding|talk]]) 13:53, 4 November 2023 (UTC)
:I know what you mean. And much of the US healthcare structure also seems to only work very well for those for whom it works at the expense of not working at all for most of the rest. I'd almost not be surprised to find a 'pop-up' surgery like this for either those ready and eager to pay or completely without the means and desperate (the latter might not have the MRI scanner at hand...).
:: The disparities in US health care [https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(17%2930398-7/fulltext are well documented] (apologies if you hit a paywall). As for the 'pop-up' surgeries/medical care "offices", you may be referring to [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urgent_care_center urgent care centers], which are commonplace in the US now, and expensive but (maybe) better than going without. True 'pop-ups' (e.g., temporary facilities under canvas) are not unknown, and not just after natural disasters. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.142.100|172.71.142.100]] 17:02, 4 November 2023 (UTC)
:For all the problems with the UK healthcare systems (and the gods know that there are indeed some), I can't see Beret Guy's system working here, at the same level of hypothetical. (Same with policing matters.) [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.33|141.101.98.33]] 14:10, 4 November 2023 (UTC)
::Just imagine how Americans feel when we read about members of Parliament holding [https://www.parliament.uk/site-information/glossary/surgeries/ surgeries] for their constituents. Very confusing. --[[Special:Contributions/172.70.127.7|172.70.127.7]] 15:58, 4 November 2023 (UTC)
::: It's helpful (at least to me) to read the [https://www.etymonline.com/word/surgery etymology of the word "surgery"], especially how, in British English, it came to mean "a (place for) consultation." Combine this with the realization that, whereas in the USA a physician holds a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_of_Medicine doctorate degree], a physician in the UK holds a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bachelor_of_Medicine,_Bachelor_of_Surgery bachelor's degree] - UK secondary school graduates, if they qualify, go directly to medical school, bypassing the bachelor's degree step forced on would-be physicians in the US. Thus, a "doctor's office" in the USA is a place where the physician holds a doctorate degree (technically "is a doctor"), and is found in an office processing the paperwork that dominates the doctor's day, whilst a "doctor's surgery" in the UK is a place where the physician might not hold a doctorate degree (technically "is not a doctor") and in which, in the modern day, surgeries seldom (never?) take place. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.150.82|172.71.150.82]] 07:33, 5 November 2023 (UTC)
::: "We [English] have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language." - [https://quoteinvestigator.com/2016/04/03/common/ Oscar Wilde, 1887] [[Special:Contributions/172.71.142.104|172.71.142.104]] 16:41, 4 November 2023 (UTC)
Maybe the "We're like librarians, but for your bones and blood" refers to medical studies, that involve a lot of rote memorization. Among the things medical students need to know by heart are the names of bones and blood vessels. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.186.18|172.71.186.18]] 00:17, 6 November 2023 (UTC)

The Google Maps stuff sounds a lot like [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5c6AADI7Pb4 Wiretapping the Secret Service can be easy and fun] to me. [[User:Jadatkins|Jadatkins]] ([[User talk:Jadatkins|talk]]) 15:24, 6 November 2023 (UTC)

I would argue that "making holes in you" is much more likely to refer to the use of needles and syringes, first to withdraw blood for lab analysis (to determine the root cause of being too hot), and subsequently to administer medication to combat whatever infection is detected.

2729: Planet Killer Comet Margarita

2023-01-26T18:31:37Z

Joe Perez:

{{comic
| number = 2729
| date = January 25, 2023
| title = Planet Killer Comet Margarita
| image = planet_killer_comet_margarita_2x.png
| imagesize = 607x942px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I'll take mine on the rocks, no ice.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a MARGARITAFIED METEOR - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
A {{w|margarita}} is a popular cocktail made from {{w|tequila}}, {{w|agave}}, {{w|triple sec}}, and {{w|lime juice}}. The frozen margarita variety is blended with ice, and this comic suggests making an enormous drink using the ice from a {{w|comet nucleus}} – the one depicted having more than a passing similarity to the much studied {{w|67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko}}. Based on the amount of ice in a typical comet, it extrapolates the quantity of the other ingredients. The size of this drink will fill {{w|Lake Mead}}, a massive reservoir on the {{w|Colorado River}} created by the water held by the {{w|Hoover Dam}}.

Beyond the unusual quantities and mixing method, Randall uses the general term "orange liqueur" here rather than specifying triple sec. (As of this writing, {{w|orange liqueur}} redirects to "triple sec" on Wikipedia.) Assuming that each oil tanker holds exactly the same amount of liquid, the tequila:triple sec ratio in the comic is 4:1, meaning more tequila is used than necessary (the ratio should be 5:2).

''{{w|Armageddon_(1998_film)|Armageddon}}'' is a movie starring {{w|Bruce Willis}} about a team of astronauts and oil drill engineers on a mission to blow up an asteroid that's on a collision course with the Earth. The oil drill would be used to drill a hole deep into the asteroid, into which they'll drop a nuclear bomb to destroy it. The comic suggests using the same technique to explode the comet nucleus to get the ice. It should be noted that consuming any cocktail which has been infused with the radioactive byproducts commonly resulting from the detonation of a thermonuclear weapon may pose health risks which exceed those typically associated with the consumption of alcoholic beverages in general. {{Citation needed}}

In the title text, he asks for it "{{w|on the rocks}}", with no ice. In the context of cocktails this means to serve with ice. But the comet nucleus also contains lots of rocky material. If you explode the nucleus and remove the ice, the drink will be full of rocks.

In the header, it says "Today's comic was drawn for Daniel Becker, based on [https://what-if.xkcd.com/162/ his winning question] submitted to the [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2/ What If? 2] contest." As explained in the What If? entry melting a comet on Earth has enough negative effects on the climate to negate the cooling effect a couple thousand times over – thus this margarita may in fact proudly wear the title "planet killer".

Assuming an average oil tanker size of 25.8 million gallons, this provides approximately 1,705 servings of tequila per adult on the planet. Therefore it is a planet killer in terms of alcohol poisoning and killing off all humans of adult drinking age.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:<big>The Planet Killer</big>
:Comet Ice Margarita

:Ingredients
:4,000 oil tankers full of tequila
:1,000 tankers full of orange liqueur
:1,000 tankers full of agave
:The juice from 20 trillion limes
:One comet nucleus

:Instructions
:(1) Drain Lake Mead, combine ingredients behind Hoover Dam
:(2) Detonate comet using Bruce Willis's drilling rig from ''Armageddon'' (1998)
::''Boom''
:(3) Dispense drink through Hoover Dam turbines

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Food]]

2729: Planet Killer Comet Margarita

2023-01-26T18:30:29Z

Joe Perez:

{{comic
| number = 2729
| date = January 25, 2023
| title = Planet Killer Comet Margarita
| image = planet_killer_comet_margarita_2x.png
| imagesize = 607x942px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I'll take mine on the rocks, no ice.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a MARGARITAFIED METEOR - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
A {{w|margarita}} is a popular cocktail made from {{w|tequila}}, {{w|agave}}, {{w|triple sec}}, and {{w|lime juice}}. The frozen margarita variety is blended with ice, and this comic suggests making an enormous drink using the ice from a {{w|comet nucleus}} – the one depicted having more than a passing similarity to the much studied {{w|67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko}}. Based on the amount of ice in a typical comet, it extrapolates the quantity of the other ingredients. The size of this drink will fill {{w|Lake Mead}}, a massive reservoir on the {{w|Colorado River}} created by the water held by the {{w|Hoover Dam}}.

Beyond the unusual quantities and mixing method, Randall uses the general term "orange liqueur" here rather than specifying triple sec. (As of this writing, {{w|orange liqueur}} redirects to "triple sec" on Wikipedia.) Assuming that each oil tanker holds exactly the same amount of liquid, the tequila:triple sec ratio in the comic is 4:1, meaning more tequila is used than necessary (the ratio should be 5:2).

''{{w|Armageddon_(1998_film)|Armageddon}}'' is a movie starring {{w|Bruce Willis}} about a team of astronauts and oil drill engineers on a mission to blow up an asteroid that's on a collision course with the Earth. The oil drill would be used to drill a hole deep into the asteroid, into which they'll drop a nuclear bomb to destroy it. The comic suggests using the same technique to explode the comet nucleus to get the ice. It should be noted that consuming any cocktail which has been infused with the radioactive byproducts commonly resulting from the detonation a thermonuclear weapon may pose health risks which exceed those typically associated with the consumption of alcoholic beverages in general. {{Citation needed}}

In the title text, he asks for it "{{w|on the rocks}}", with no ice. In the context of cocktails this means to serve with ice. But the comet nucleus also contains lots of rocky material. If you explode the nucleus and remove the ice, the drink will be full of rocks.

In the header, it says "Today's comic was drawn for Daniel Becker, based on [https://what-if.xkcd.com/162/ his winning question] submitted to the [https://xkcd.com/what-if-2/ What If? 2] contest." As explained in the What If? entry melting a comet on Earth has enough negative effects on the climate to negate the cooling effect a couple thousand times over – thus this margarita may in fact proudly wear the title "planet killer".

Assuming an average oil tanker size of 25.8 million gallons, this provides approximately 1,705 servings of tequila per adult on the planet. Therefore it is a planet killer in terms of alcohol poisoning and killing off all humans of adult drinking age.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:<big>The Planet Killer</big>
:Comet Ice Margarita

:Ingredients
:4,000 oil tankers full of tequila
:1,000 tankers full of orange liqueur
:1,000 tankers full of agave
:The juice from 20 trillion limes
:One comet nucleus

:Instructions
:(1) Drain Lake Mead, combine ingredients behind Hoover Dam
:(2) Detonate comet using Bruce Willis's drilling rig from ''Armageddon'' (1998)
::''Boom''
:(3) Dispense drink through Hoover Dam turbines

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Food]]

2644: fMRI Billboard

2022-07-12T17:39:42Z

Joe Perez:

{{comic
| number = 2644
| date = July 11, 2022
| title = fMRI Billboard
| image = fmri_billboard.png
| titletext = [other side] If the first word of an instruction you're given starts with the same letter as your crush's name, for that step imagine the experimenter is your crush.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by YOUR SCARIEST MEMORY - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{w|Functional magnetic resonance imaging}}, or fMRI, is a method of {{w|4DCT|four-dimensional computed tomography}} able to record animated multi-layered images of animal brain activity by detecting blood flow changes apparent from magnetic differences between oxygenated and deoxygenated {{w|hemoglobin}}. Researchers use fMRI to try to detect deception and false memories,[https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763419301873] plan brain surgery,[https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2213158217303133] and understand the relationship between brain structures and cognition,[https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763419300879] among many other investigations.

This comic shows a billboard erected by a neuroscience department in an attempt at sabotaging a rival department's volunteer subject compliance with their fMRI study instructions, by suggesting behaviors which would likely produce unexpected results, such as recalling a frightening memory after seeing similar stimulus slides, or imagining the lab technician is a romantic interest when reading words that begin with the same letter as their name. This is funny because academic department rivalries do not usually lead to sabotage [{{w|Cessna Citation family|Citation needed}}], and in the rare cases that they do, it's usually clandestine instead of so absurdly blatant.

Following such suggestions or even inadvertently remembering them during an fMRI could very well interfere with its results. fMRI experiments are often criticized because they have low {{w|statistical power}} and can easily be confounded by experiment subject error in following instructions, among many other variables. In a famous 2009 study, a dead fish was shown to have apparent evidence of brain activity when scanned with ordinary fMRI techniques.[http://prefrontal.org/files/posters/Bennett-Salmon-2009.pdf] In 2015, discovery of a statistical error invalidated at least 40,000 fMRI studies.[https://www.sciencealert.com/a-bug-in-fmri-software-could-invalidate-decades-of-brain-research-scientists-discover] Subsequently in 2017, many more fMRI results were further discredited due to poor software parameter selection.[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5487467]

The title text indicates that the sabotaging instructions are printed on both sides of the billboard, suggesting that it might have been erected on the grounds of the targeted rival department.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[A large, building-sized billboard rises over what appears to be a college campus. It reads:]
: ⚠ Student fMRI volunteers ⚠
: Remember, when you're in the scanner, if you see a slide that's similar to one they already showed you, think as hard as you can about your scariest memory.

:[Caption below panel:] A rival neuroscience department keeps trying to sabotage our experiments.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category: Science]]
[[Category: Psychology]]
[[Category: Biology]]

498: Secretary: Part 5

2022-05-04T18:48:33Z

Joe Perez: Undid vandalism: 240864 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 498
| date = October 31, 2008
| title = Secretary: Part 5
| image = secretary part 5.png
| titletext = And they choose Al Gore as Internet Secretary.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the fifth and final comic in the Secretary story-arc. The culmination has [[Black Hat]] up to his usual shenanigans in the {{w|United States Senate chamber|US Senate chamber room}}.

The hearings have ended, with the chairman deciding to sentence him to death, instead of confirming his position of Internet Secretary. Black Hat replies that he was "never interested in taking the position." This would be quite weird, as Senate confirmation meetings take a long time. The committee members are obviously surprised, and they question Black Hat, trying to get him to reveal his motives. He then cryptically replies that "It was taking us a while to move the pumps into the maintenance tunnels." The confused committee members then look at each other.

A red playpen ball bursts out of the panel and rolls towards the committee chairman, before being followed by a geyser of red, white, and blue balls, which begin to engulf the room and the Senate rotunda. Of course, Black Hat has already escaped by grabbing Tron Paul's lightcycle and using it to smash his way out of the rotunda.

Outside the Senate, Cory Doctorow offers Black Hat a lift and asks if he's a fugitive now, and Black Hat replies that they never had his name, which is odd, considering that they know he's stolen a nuclear submarine, along with everything else mentioned in [[496: Secretary: Part 3]]

Back at Congress, they seem to have forgotten about Black Hat's "gleeful mayhem" and are jumping off the balcony into the ball pit below.

The title text refers to {{w|Al Gore}}. Al Gore was the {{w|Vice President of the United States|Vice President}} under President {{w|Bill Clinton}} and ran as the Democratic nominee for President in 2000. Al Gore has had {{w|Al Gore and information technology|quite a history with the Internet}}, including one oft-misquoted (rather, quoted out of context) interview with CNN in which he told {{w|Wolf Blitzer}}, "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet." Many spun this to mean he claimed to have actually invented the Internet himself, although some of its {{w|List of Internet pioneers|pioneers}} clarified what Gore actually meant (that "his initiatives led directly to the commercialization of the Internet") and agreed with this assessment.<ref>[https://www.theregister.co.uk/2000/10/02/net_builders_kahn_cerf_recognise/ "Net builders Kahn, Cerf recognise Al Gore"]. ''The Register''. October 2, 2000. [https://web.archive.org/web/20191215233809/https://www.theregister.co.uk/2000/10/02/net_builders_kahn_cerf_recognise/ Archived] from the original on December 15, 2019. Retrieved January 31, 2020. "No one in public life has been more intellectually engaged in helping to create the climate for a thriving Internet than the Vice President."</ref><ref>[https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/interviews/a4451/vint-cerf-0508/ "Vint Cerf Interview — Quotes from the Father of the Internet"]. ''Esquire''. April 24, 2008. [https://web.archive.org/web/20190904220345/https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/interviews/a4451/vint-cerf-0508/ Archived] from the original on September 4, 2019. Retrieved January 31, 2020. "His initiatives led directly to the commercialization of the Internet. So he really does deserve credit."</ref>

The Senate or a Senate committee, in reality, cannot sentence a person to death, as that would be a {{w|Bill of attainder|bill of attainder}}, which Congress is prohibited from passing by Article I, Section 9, Clause 3 of the United States Constitution: "No Bill of Attainder ... shall be passed." "An unorthodox move," indeed.

{{w|Tron (video game)|Tron}} was an arcade game, based on the {{w|Tron (movie)|movie}} of the same name, and both released in 1982. The characters would play on a grid in lightcycles that left behind walls of light. The objective of the game was to force the opponent to run into the wall of light, similar to the {{w|Snake (game)|Snake game}}.

Of course, [[playpen balls]] have been the topic of many comics before, notably in [[150: Grownups]].

All comics in the [[:Category:Secretary|Secretary]] series are:
*[[494: Secretary: Part 1]]
*[[495: Secretary: Part 2]]
*[[496: Secretary: Part 3]]
*[[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
*[[498: Secretary: Part 5]]

This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

It is possible that this series is a continuation of [[493: Actuarial]], in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was nominated as Internet secretary.

==Transcript==
:[The Senate. Black Hat sits before the committee at his hearing to become Internet Secretary.]
:Chairman: We were convened here to review your nomination for the position of internet secretary.

:Chairman: However, on review of your qualifications, we've decided to sentence you to death.

:Chairman: An unorthodox move, sure. But the vote was unanimous.
:[Black Hat is leaning back in his chair.]

:[Tron Paul's lightcycle swerves wildly.]
:Meanwhile...

:Tron Paul: There's no grid! How do I steeeeer!!!!!

:[Back at the Senate. Black Hat is standing.]
:Black Hat: Well, it's been fun. But I was never actually interested in taking the position. Good lord; listening to internet arguments all day? No thank you.

:Chairman: Then why did you sit through all those hearings?

:Black Hat: It was taking us a while to move the pumps into the maintenance tunnels.

:[The committee members murmur among themselves.]

:[There is a panel in the floor between Black Hat and the committee.]
:''RUMBLE''
:''plink plink''

:[A red playpen ball bursts out of the panel and rolls towards the committee chairman.]
:''plink''

:[The room is still. Black Hat's arms are folded.]

:[A geyser of red, white, and blue playpen balls bursts through the panel in the floor. Black Hat is already gone.]
:''FOOM''

:[The committee members chase Black Hat out the door as the Senate floor floods with playpen balls.]

:[The chase continues into the rotunda, as does the flood of playpen balls.]

:[Black Hat stands in the middle of the rotunda as it fills with playpen balls, surrounded by members of the committee.]
:Committee Members: Security! Someone!
:Committee Members: Get Him!

:[Tron Paul bursts through the wall.]
:''CRASH''
:Tron Paul: Aaaaa!

:[Black Hat grabs the bottom of the lightcycle as Tron Paul goes by.]
:''snag''
:Tron Paul: Hey!

:[Black Hat swings onto the top of the light cycle.]

:[Black Hat crouches on top of the light cycle.]
:Tron Paul: Get Off!

:[Tron Paul and Black Hat crash through the far wall of the rotunda.]
:''CRASH''

:[Tron Paul hits the ground.]
:''WHAM''
:Tron Paul: Ow!

:[Black Hat runs away.]
:Tron Paul: Ughhh.

:[The lightcycle disappears.]
:Tron Paul: I feel queasy...
:Cory Doctorow, above: Hey!
:Black Hat: Hi, Cory.
:Cory Doctorow: Need a lift?
:Black Hat: Sure.

:[Black Hat and Cory Doctorow depart in Doctorow's balloon.]
:Cory Doctorow: So are you, like, a fugitive now?
:Black Hat: Well, I never did give them my name...

:[Senators play in the playpen balls.]
:But in the rotunda
:Senators: Let's jump down here from the balcony!
:Senators: Senior senators first!
:Senators: Wheeee!
:Senators: I'm a submarine!
:All is forgiven.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Secretary|05]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Secretary]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cory Doctorow]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Playpen balls]]

496: Secretary: Part 3

2022-05-04T18:48:16Z

Joe Perez: Undid vandalism: 241229 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 496
| date = October 29, 2008
| title = Secretary: Part 3
| image = secretary part 3.png
| titletext = He actually installed each piece in a different car in the lot, then built a new car in the spot from the displaced pieces. It's a confusing maneuver known as the auto-troll shuffle.
}}

==Explanation==
When a person has been appointed to be on certain positions<ref>https://www.senate.gov/CRSpubs/74919ab6-b407-451c-b429-702e9ae8dcb1.pdf</ref> by the {{w|POTUS|President}}, they must first go through a confirmation hearing in front of the {{w|United States Senate|Senate}} (the upper house of {{w|United States Congress|Congress}}) where they find if the person is qualified to be in the position they have been appointed to. Of course, [[Black Hat]] is not the cleanest of characters, so Congress has a lot of reservations about his {{w|résumé}}.
N.B. When this comic was written, Senate confirmation hearings occurred rapidly after a president made a nomination and were expected to prevent unsuitable candidates from being given positions of power.

*{{w|Starbucks}} is an American coffee shop chain.
**He hasn't yet, but in [[562: Parking]], Black Hat will cut someone's car in half to make it fit in a single space. Not quite as dramatic as completely disassembling a car and, as the title text says, putting a single piece in another car parked in the lot, and building a car out of the displaced parts, which could almost be considered subtle, but it is quite dramatic.
**The title text refers to the Starbucks incident. Taking all the parts from different cars to build a new car in the same spot parallels the idea in philosophy of the {{w|Ship of Theseus}}, in which a question arises of whether a ship is the same ship if it is replaced piece by piece by identical pieces.
*{{w|Charles M. Schulz}} drew a comic called {{w|Peanuts}}. One of the recurring characters was {{w|Snoopy}}, who would often use his doghouse as an imaginary {{w|Sopwith Camel}} in many battles with {{w|Manfred von Richthofen|The Red Baron}}, who piloted a {{w|Fokker Dr.I|Red Fokker}} {{w|Triplane}}.
**The {{w|Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade}} is a parade that happens on {{w|Thanksgiving (United States)|Thanksgiving Day}} in the US. There are many giant balloons of pop-culture icons. Snoopy has made many appearances. Being the [[classhole]] that he is, Black Hat has shot up the Snoopy float with a stolen Red Fokker triplane, which would be disturbing, especially to the kids watching the parade, who would get the impression that Snoopy has died. His statement that he "Got three mimes, too" just proves his casual disregard for collateral damage.
*{{w|9/11 Truth movement|9/11 Truthers}} believe that the terrorist attack on the {{w|World Trade Center (1973–2001)|World Trade Center}} towers on {{w|September 11 attacks|September 11, 2001}} (thus 9/11) was not actually organized by terrorists, but by the United States government. Black Hat interrupts their conspiracy theory gathering, insisting on a comically exaggerated version of this conspiracy theory in which the attacks did not happen ''at all'' and the World Trade Center is presumably still standing. Such a conspiracy is extremely implausible, as it would require either the involvement of every single person to ever set foot in one of the world's largest cities, or some way to conceal a pair of hundred story tall buildings, which would be extremely difficult. Whether Black Hat actually believes this, or is just trying to troll conspiracy theorists, is unknown.
**Black Hat uses a common refrain [[:Category:Sheeple|Wake up, Sheeple]] to insult the senators.
*{{w|RadioShack}} was a chain of consumer electronics shops that sold parts to build electronics with resistors, transistors, etc. Apparently Black Hat managed to build a death ray from the parts there and accidentally vaporized a customer. His line "Figures that'd be the one day that there'd be a customer in the aisle" refers to the fact that RadioShack stores had been in steady decline over the years,{{citation needed}} largely propped up by momentum.
*{{w|Microsoft}} is the company that makes {{w|Microsoft Windows|Windows}}, and {{w|Steve Ballmer}} was its {{w|Chief executive officer|CEO}} until being replaced in 2014 by {{w|Satya Nadella}}. {{w|Windows Vista}} is an {{w|operating system}} released in 2007; it was widely panned by software critics. It is unclear how feeding a squirrel through a fax machine could possibly contribute to winning an argument about it, but given Black Hat's almost superhuman abilities to troll and avoid the consequences, it's possible that it could happen. Alternatively, Ballmer could've left the argument after the incident and Black Hat could simply be interpreting that as a victory.
*{{w|Ruth Bader Ginsburg}} was the second female justice on the {{w|Supreme Court of the United States|Supreme Court}}, appointed by President Clinton. The relevance here is that during her own confirmation hearings, she refused to answer many questions about her personal views, frustrating many Senators (nevertheless, she was confirmed, 96-3). {{w|John Roberts}}, the current Chief Justice, was similarly evasive in his hearings, citing the "Ginsburg Precedent."
*Black Hat stole a {{w|nuclear submarine}} in xkcd [[405: Journal 3]] to get his hat back from [[Danish]]. However, that one was a Russian submarine, and in 2008 (when this comic was drawn), the US Senate would probably not have held that against a nominee (things might be different in 2020). Perhaps they are indeed referencing that incident, or it could be that he has also stolen an American submarine. Stealing one navy submarine would be impossibly hard; stealing nuclear submarines from not one but two different navies would be practically impossible.
*"Pleading the fifth" is to invoke the {{w|Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fifth Amendment}} of the {{w|United States Bill of Rights}}. Specifically, when someone pleads the fifth, they mean that they cannot be compelled to give testimony against themselves. That is, they do not have to say anything that could be taken as an admission of guilt. The {{w|Third Amendment to the United States Constitution|third amendment}} states that no homeowner has to keep troops of the United States Army in their house against their will. Either Black Hat
**Doesn't understand the 3rd Amendment,
**Just chooses this amendment over the 5th to confuse the committee, who seems to forget the question,
**Believes the nuclear submarine to be his property, and rather than stealing it, he was simply expelling military personnel who were "quartered" in his nuclear sub without his permission, or
**Stole the submarine in order to have a convenient place other than his house to quarter troops

The final panels show Ron Paul's blimp finally approaching Washington DC. The balloon spotted on their radar is presumably piloted by blogger {{w|Cory Doctorow}}, as revealed in the next installment, Secretary: Part 4.

All comics in the [[:Category:Secretary|Secretary]] series are:
*[[494: Secretary: Part 1]]
*[[495: Secretary: Part 2]]
*[[496: Secretary: Part 3]]
*[[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
*[[498: Secretary: Part 5]]

This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

It is possible that this series is a continuation of [[493: Actuarial]], in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was chosen as Internet secretary.

==Transcript==
:[The confirmation hearings begin.]
:Senator: It appears you have quite an arrest record.

:Senator: Is it true you completely disassembled someone's car outside a Starbucks?
:Black Hat: It was parked across two spaces.

:Senator: You stole a red Fokker triplane and strafed the snoopy float at the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade?

:Black Hat: Got three mimes, too.

:Senator: You disrupted a 9/11 truth meeting, insisting the Twin Towers never actually collapsed?
:Black Hat: I have evidence! Don't trust the media! Wake up, sheeple!

:Senator: You were fired from Radio Shack after you built a death ray and vaporized a customer?

:Black Hat: I was just testing it! Figures that'd be the one day there was a shopper in the aisle.

:Senator: And you were thrown out of Microsoft headquarters for... trying to feed a squirrel through a fax machine?

:Black Hat: I forgot about that! it was part of an argument with Steve Ballmer about Vista.
::Which I won, by the way.

:[Senators look down at their notes.]

:Senator: This is the worst history of vandalism, gleeful mayhem, and general recalcitrance we've seen in a nominee since Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

:Senator: And this-you stole a nuclear submarine?
:Black Hat: I plead the third.

:Senator: You mean the fifth?
:Black Hat: No, the third.

:Senator: You refuse to quarter troops in your house?
:Black Hat: I have few principles, but I stick to them.

:Meanwhile...
:[Aboard Ron Paul's blimp.]
:Ponytail: We're nearing Washington, sir.
::Wait... There's something ahead on the sensors.

:Ponytail: It's a balloon.
:Ron Paul: ...Oh, no.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Secretary|03]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Secretary]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Conspiracy theory]]
[[Category:Sheeple]]
[[Category:9/11]]

495: Secretary: Part 2

2022-05-04T18:47:56Z

Joe Perez: Undid vandalism: revision 241181 by Ex Kay Cee Dee (talk)

{{comic
| number = 495
| date = October 28, 2008
| title = Secretary: Part 2
| image = secretary part 2.png
| titletext = That helmet won't save him.
}}

==Explanation==
Whenever something big happens the news, media likes to have at least two things: interviews with people who are the news, and on-the-scene reporters. In this case, [[Blondie]] as a [[:Category:News anchor|news anchor]] is shown to begin with talking about [[Black Hat]], and she has even been out at his house. Even if those reporters are simply standing in front of a building that something happened in, they have to be on-scene. To thwart the media (and probably everyone else), Black Hat has built a {{w|moat}} around his apartment building. The second reporter is on-the-scene from the Internet, or rather, one of its darkest corners: {{w|4chan}}. In more detail, 4chan is a collection of image boards that act somewhat like forums, where users go to share images. The different boards are named by their "folder" structure, for lack of a better term. Therefore, the name /b/ comes from its URL: 4chan.org/b/. Pronounced "slash bee" (because the second forward slash is not necessary), /b/ is the "random" board, where anything goes, where anything is the superset of all sets, as in anything. Absolutely. Anything. As in, going more than two seconds without seeing pornographic content or hateful slurs is almost unheard of. /b/ is also the one that gets the most publicity, because it has started many of the {{w|meme}}s [http://knowyourmeme.com/] on the Internet, as well as the birthplace of {{w|Anonymous (group)|Anonymous}}. The chaotic nature of the forums explains why the title text suggests that the reporter isn't safe, even though he is wearing a helmet. In fact, a goofy helmet like that is liable to get the trolls on him faster than if he didn't have it. This may be a {{w|Densha Otoko}}[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Densha_Otoko_(TV_series)] reference, which features helmet-wearing /b/ members.

{{w|Ron Paul}} is a man who was a U.S. Representative for Texas at the time. At the time the comic was published, he was running, for the second time, for {{w|President of the United States}}.

A {{w|haberdasher}} is a person who sells small articles of clothing that have been or can be sewed. In modern English, a haberdashery (where a haberdasher would work) is a place that sells hats. This could be a reference to former President {{w|Harry S. Truman}}, who operated a failed haberdashery in the early 1920s.

Ron Paul's 2008 presidential campaign did, in fact, use a {{w|blimp}} that was named the {{w|Ron_Paul_presidential_campaign,_2008#Ron_Paul_Blimp|Ron Paul Blimp}}. However, despite their elegant appearance, blimps are not a very fast way to travel.

The images on the /b/ board behind the reporter are:
*[https://youtu.be/ZWwMre0PuTQ "'''A'''yyy"], a common exclamation by the character {{w|Fonzie}} from the TV show ''{{w|Happy Days}}'', usually while giving {{w|Thumb signal|two thumbs up}}.
*{{w|/b/|/'''b'''/}}, the "random" {{w|Internet forum|discussion board}} on 4chan.
*A {{w|Compact disc|'''C'''ompact '''D'''isc}} (or "CD"), a plastic disc for {{w|Optical disc|optical}} {{w|Data storage|data storage}}.
*[https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/epic-fail-guy '''E'''pic '''F'''ail '''G'''uy], a {{w|Internet meme|meme}} that originated on 4chan, of a {{w|Stick figure|stick-figure}} character (often wearing a {{w|Guy Fawkes mask}}) who fails at everything he tries.
Together, the initial letters of these items spell out "'''ABCDEFG'''".

The title text states that the second reporter (Tom)'s helmet won't help him, though from what, it is unclear as he himself stated he wasn't sure why he was wearing the helmet.

All comics in the [[:Category:Secretary|Secretary]] series are:
*[[494: Secretary: Part 1]]
*[[495: Secretary: Part 2]]
*[[496: Secretary: Part 3]]
*[[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
*[[498: Secretary: Part 5]]

This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

It is possible that this series is a continuation of [[493: Actuarial]], in which Black Hat demonstrates great power over even Internet trolls via his sociopathic ways. This would explain why Black Hat was chosen as Internet secretary.

==Transcript==
:[Blondie as a news anchor sitting behind a desk is reading from a paper she holds in her hands. There is a picture of Black Hat on a screen behind her. There is a caption below the picture.]
:Blondie: Breaking news—the President has made a nomination to the new post of Internet Secretary. We know little about the man, shown here.
:Caption: Possibly a haberdasher?

:[Blondie keeps talking over a scene showing her standing with a microphone in front of a water-filled moat that has been dug between the road and a house. A small stair up to the house is just on the other side of the moat. Behind her is Cueball with a large TV camera on his shoulder pointing towards her and the house.]
:Blondie (narrating): Attempts to reach the nominee at home were unsuccessful.
:Blondie: What the hell kind of apartment has a moat?

:[Back to Blondie behind her desk, the paper is gone, and she leans one arm on the desk. There is no screen behind her.]
:Blondie: To understand the culture from which he came — and which he may soon administer — we sent a reporter to what we're told is the source of that culture.
:Blondie: Tom?

:[This panel is much larger than the three previous panels and partly hidden behind the last. Tom, looking like Cueball with a military helmet with camouflage marks strapped under his chin, holds a large microphone in front of him while standing in front of a large screen. The screen shows a message board with four picture posts. Each picture has a text to the right, but those are unreadable scribbles. The top drawing is of a man with wild hair who holds out his hands with thumbs up. The next is text. Then there is a circle with a smaller circle in the middle and at the bottom what appears to be a Cueball-like man with a fencing mask. Blondie still speaks to him from off-panel left.]
:Tom: I'm coming to you live from the 4chan /b/ board. Despite the tube cloggage, nascent memes are flying fast and furious.
:Blondie (off-panel): Why are you wearing a helmet, Tom?
:Tom: I'm not sure.
:Image with text only: /b/

:[Ponytail is sitting in front of a large control unit using the two levers coming out of it from below two buttons that are again below the lit screen. A voice comes from off-panel left. Above the top of the panels frame, there is a frame with a caption:]
:Meanwhile in Ron Paul's blimp.
:Ron Paul (off-panel): Ahoy! What news of the blogs?

:[Zoom out showing Ponytail, who has turned around on her office chair away from the controls towards Ron Paul drawn like Cueball but with a cane. She holds up a piece of paper with a small square insert visible at the top. Apart from that, it is white.]
:Ponytail: Dr. Paul! The President's named his nominee!
:Ron Paul: It's not me?

:[Ron Paul's blimp is shown from the outside. His voice can be seen coming from the airship. There is text on the blimp, with the four letters after the first written mirrored to spell another word.]
:Ron Paul (from inside the blimp): Wait! I remember that guy from the campaign! He's a notorious troll!
:Blimp:
::Ron Paul
::RƎVO⅃UTION

:[Back inside the blimp, Ron Paul points to Ponytail, while his other hand is lifted to his chin. His cane leans against his legs. Ponytail looks at him from her chair, the paper now held in her lap.]
:Ron Paul: They mustn't put him in charge. Quick, call the capitol!

:[Ponytail turns around on her chair towards the controls and takes hold of one of the sticks. Ron Paul has taken the cane in his hand again.]
:Ponytail: Can't, sir. The tubes just went down completely.
:Ron Paul: Blast!

:[Ponytail now holds onto both sticks as Ron Paul lifts his cane up into the air pointing away from her up and right.]
:Ron Paul: Then we'll go ourselves. Full speed ahead!

:[A full view of the blimp hanging in the air to the left over a broad landscape. There seems to be a small lake just in front of the blimp. The horizon is shown all along this full width panel, and after the lake, there are five small mountain peaks, two behind the three in front. After the last of these, there follow one more peak and a small mound. Features are shown on the ground. In the air in front of the blimp, there are a small cloud inside the panel at the end of the lake and a large cloud breaking the upper frame over the end of the five mountains stretching over the next peak and mound.]
:Blimp:
::Ron Paul
::RƎVO⅃UTION

:[Same image. The blimp has advanced minutely, taking the tip clearly over the lake. Beat panel #1]
:Blimp:
::Ron Paul
::RƎVO⅃UTION

:[Same image. The blimp has advanced minutely again. Beat panel #2]
:Blimp:
::Ron Paul
::RƎVO⅃UTION

:[Same image, but now the two speak from within the blimp. The blimp has again advanced minutely so the gondola below the blimp is now also almost at the edge of the lake.]
:Ron Paul: I said full speed!
:Ponytail: It's a blimp, sir!
:Blimp:
::Ron Paul
::RƎVO⅃UTION

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Secretary|02]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Secretary]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Blondie]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]] 
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:News anchor]]
[[Category:Airships]]
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:Politics]]