explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

Talk:3207: Bad Map Projection: Zero Declination

2026-02-14T04:07:20Z

Jordan Brown: what are the red arrows?

First! Can't believe I'm north! [[User:King Pando|King Pando]] ([[User talk:King Pando|talk]]) 03:34, 14 February 2026 (UTC)
:What do you mean that you're north? [[User:This isn't a good name|This isn't a good name]] ([[User talk:This isn't a good name|talk]]) 03:42, 14 February 2026 (UTC)

I can't figure out what the red arrows are. My best guess is that they indicate the direction that the map was distorted in that area. It would be good if somebody would explain. [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 04:07, 14 February 2026 (UTC)

Talk:3205: Carbon Dating

2026-02-11T01:36:40Z

Jordan Brown: Is carbon dating like speed dating?

F10st p0st! [[Special:Contributions/185.36.194.156|185.36.194.156]] 04:45, 10 February 2026 (UTC)

:First explanation! Hopefully it's fine... (also, nice TCMP reference.)--[[User:Utdtutyabthsc|Utdtutyabthsc]] ([[User talk:Utdtutyabthsc|talk]]) 06:00, 10 February 2026 (UTC)
::Oh, was that a deliberate reference? Why isn't it [[269|spelled the same way]]? What does "F10st" even mean? [[User:Elizium23|Elizium23]] ([[User talk:Elizium23|talk]]) 06:58, 10 February 2026 (UTC)
:::Semi-deliberate, but more spirit of the law than letter of the law since early internet trolling is (was?) a common theme here anyways lol; the 0 was a typo [[Special:Contributions/185.36.194.156|185.36.194.156]] 10:04, 10 February 2026 (UTC)
::::It is though getting a little tiresome and repeatable that someone has begun writing first post on all talk pages... Please stop it ;-) --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 13:19, 10 February 2026 (UTC)
:::::31Gth!!! [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 14:54, 10 February 2026 (UTC)

I'm all for carbon dating, but I wouldn't want one to marry my sister. [[Special:Contributions/24.123.140.66|24.123.140.66]] 13:52, 10 February 2026 (UTC)
:I also was expecting that kind of pun when I saw the title. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 15:10, 10 February 2026 (UTC)
: You'd rather she settled down with a nice silica-based lifeform? [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 15:20, 10 February 2026 (UTC)
: I figured that carbon dating was the process by which paleontologists analyze prospective mates to determine their chronological compatibility. [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 01:36, 11 February 2026 (UTC)

Is the skeleton being studied a cosmologist? [[Special:Contributions/2605:A601:80AF:4000:2A74:9789:42F0:2275|2605:A601:80AF:4000:2A74:9789:42F0:2275]] 14:35, 10 February 2026 (UTC)

3191: Superstition

2026-01-08T00:28:35Z

Jordan Brown: no-anti-aliasing statement should now be past tense, since it's been fixed.

{{comic
| number = 3191
| date = January 7, 2026
| title = Superstition
| image = superstition_2x.png
| imagesize = 275x393px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = It's important to teach yourself to feel responsible for random events, because with great responsibility comes great power. That's what my wise Uncle Ben told me right before he died; he might still be alive today if only I'd said rabbit rabbit that year!
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by people who will edit this wiki or else it is their fault. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
This comic references the superstition, which is known to have existed as far back as 1909, of saying "{{W|rabbit rabbit rabbit|rabbit rabbit}}" on the first day of a month in order to have good luck.

It also mocks {{W|magical thinking}}. There are many superstitions about actions that either cause bad luck (e.g. "step on a crack, break your mother's back", walking under a ladder, breaking a mirror) or protect against bad luck (e.g. carrying a rabbit's foot, throwing salt over your shoulder after spilling some). The comic suggests that the reason for superstitions like these is to make people feel guilty for not doing the right thing in these circumstances.

"{{W|Uncle Ben}}" is a reference to Spider-Man, whose uncle told him that "with great power comes great responsibility". He was not actually aware of Peter Parker's developing super-powered abilities, his aphorism being about far more mundane abilities to improve people's lives, but this still became the central guiding tenet for the superhero's philosophy. The title text flips this and implies that by taking on a great responsibility one will gain the concomitant degree of extra power. The adherence to superstitions to control our fate implies that we all have great powers, however, and we must therefore use them responsibly.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[Blondie, Cueball and a child (Hairy) are walking from left to right. The child is turning towards Cueball.]

:Cueball: Oops, I forgot to say "rabbit rabbit" on January first!

:Hairy: Why do you do that?

:Cueball: Just a superstition.

:Hairy: What's a superstition?

:Cueball: It's a way to train yourself to feel like any bad thing that happens is your fault.

==Trivia==

* As of January 7th, 2026, both the 1x and 2x version of this comic had no anti-aliasing applied (1-bit black and white). It was fixed later that day.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Blondie]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]

Talk:3182: Telescope Types

2025-12-18T18:07:02Z

Jordan Brown: Tubes are not just for children.

no vampire jokes 🥀 ([[1791]]) [[User:TheTrainsKid|TheTrainsKid]] ([[User talk:TheTrainsKid|talk]]) 00:08, 18 December 2025 (UTC)

Got down some preliminary descriptions of each telescope type used [[Special:Contributions/185.132.133.218|185.132.133.218]] 01:44, 18 December 2025 (UTC)

insert that one mickey mouse meme with the caption "what a fucking narcissist"
[[User:Yaokuan ITB|Yaokuan ITB]] ([[User talk:Yaokuan ITB|talk]]) 02:33, 18 December 2025 (UTC)

abnormally low joke-to-real ratio for this format of comic! [[Special:Contributions/2601:241:8002:3E0:C0A2:9DA:ED39:D13F|2601:241:8002:3E0:C0A2:9DA:ED39:D13F]] 03:21, 18 December 2025 (UTC)
:I noticed that... I think this might've originally been 'look at all these cool telescope types', but then he realized he had to put some sort of joke somewhere. <span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px;">--'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al|<span style="color:#FF0000">DollarStoreBa'al</span>]]<sup>[[User Talk:DollarStoreBa'al|<span style="color:#00873E">Converse</span>]]</sup></span> 03:27, 18 December 2025 (UTC)

Can someone make a category for The Core (2003)? It's been mentioned often enough. [[Special:Contributions/83.245.251.49|83.245.251.49]] 09:22, 18 December 2025 (UTC)
:Can you list 4 more comics then I will make the category. I think that is about the limit for when to make a new category. I know there are a few more but is it only 2-3more? --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 14:00, 18 December 2025 (UTC)
::All I can think of is [[673: The Sun]]. <span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 16px;">--'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al|<span style="color:#FF0000">DollarStoreBa'al</span>]]<sup>[[User Talk:DollarStoreBa'al|<span style="color:#00873E">Converse</span>]]</sup></span> 15:09, 18 December 2025 (UTC)
:::Also mentioned in the title text of [[2858: Thanksgiving Arguments]]. --[[Special:Contributions/208.59.176.206|208.59.176.206]] 15:24, 18 December 2025 (UTC)

> This would not […] end well for the drinker.

Would it though? ''Drinking'' elemental mercury, while not great on nutritional value, should be mostly safe (and I'm using that word quite loosely). The most danger would be while drinking and expelling it, when there's a danger of inhaling mercury vapors, right? --[[User:Coconut Galaxy|Coconut Galaxy]] ([[User talk:Coconut Galaxy|talk]]) 10:29, 18 December 2025 (UTC)

It wouldn't take much work to make the "Real?" column all contain only "yes" [[Special:Contributions/136.32.133.124|136.32.133.124]] 12:05, 18 December 2025 (UTC)

As all others are refractors or reflectors, can cardboard tube be considered a diffractor? As it is the only thing that it does.--[[User:Trimutius|Trimutius]] ([[User talk:Trimutius|talk]]) 15:43, 18 December 2025 (UTC)

> Children may sometimes use tubes [...]

It's not just children. I've seen "viewing tubes" in at least a couple of places, hard-mounted metal tubes that point at particular points of interest. I'm not finding any good references, but here's a photo showing some at the top of a nearby mountain: https://maps.app.goo.gl/wwnYJ1zEQEXzjyJS8 [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 18:07, 18 December 2025 (UTC)

Talk:3161: Airspeed

2025-11-08T03:49:42Z

Jordan Brown: typo

must be a heated competition [[Special:Contributions/79.78.17.137|79.78.17.137]] 21:34, 29 October 2025 (UTC)
:badum-tss! [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 22:17, 29 October 2025 (UTC)
: The record has been given an inflated importance. [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 10:58, 30 October 2025 (UTC)

It's actually worth noting that a quick google says that land speed records for hot air balloons are actually fairly fast, wikipedia claiming it clocks in at around 245 mph. Jet streams allow them to go pretty fast! [[Special:Contributions/45.78.106.197|45.78.106.197]] 23:42, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

Airspeed is relative to the vehicle, and a balloon has no "front", so a gust in one direction is in theory indistinguishable from a lull in the opposite direction; both will appear as a momentary increase in airspeed until the balloon accelerates (in whichever direction) to match the local air movement. (I say "in theory" because if you consider your gusts and lulls relative to the overall movement of the airmass, it's plausible that one or the other will tend to be sharper.) The "gust that allowed them to coast", and the whole notion of "coasting", isn't really right. A non-zero airspeed means that the balloon hasn't re-stabilized with the local air movement, in whichever direction. In fact, "coasting", defined here as momentarily moving differently from the airmass as a whole, is actually an unlikely source of the 2MPH airspeed, because it requires that the balloon accelerate to match local air movement, before returning to the movement of the airmass as a whole. More likely is a localized change (a gust or lull), that causes the local air to be moving differently from the airmass as a whole, while the balloon is still moving with the airmass. Such a localized change might be present for a very small amount of time, not long enough to appreciably change the balloon's movement. But I'm not feeling like spending enough effort to distill that down into one sentence to update the explanation. [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 23:59, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

You don't need a mine shaft to go for the minimum-altitude record, if you're measuring against MSL. Just make sure that your lines and your balloon are really strong, and your basket is really heavy, and your basket is water-tight, and go for {{w|Challenger Deep}}. [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 00:21, 30 October 2025 (UTC)

3161 demonstrates a commonly held fallacy - the balloon has NO actual "airspeed" because it moves passively with the surrounding air mass; it has no method for generating lateral force on its own, to either vector add/subtract airspeed from the moving wind surrounding it. The balloon is never actually being "blown". This isn't just semantics - it has real relevance to powered aircraft flight. {{unsigned ip|2603:7000:9c07:5749:cfe:67ca:4e99:71f8|01:38, 30 October 2025}}/Aviator Joe, CFII
:Sure it does, transiently. It just can't cause itself to have a non-zero airspeed. An abrupt change in the movement of the local air - a gust, horizontal wind shear - would register as a non-zero airspeed, until either the local air goes back to matching the overall airmass (and the balloon), or the balloon accelerates (via drag) to match that moving air. Consider: you're cruising along in your airplane at an indicated airspeed of 100kt, and you get a 10kt gust from the front. Your airspeed indicator momentarily jumps to 110kt until the airplane restabilizes at an IAS of 100kt again, and then when the gust goes away the reverse happens; your IAS drops to 90kt for a while, then returns to 100kt. The exact same thing can happen in a balloon, except that the base IAS is zero - the balloon that you were passing as the gust hit you sees an IAS of 10kt as the gust hits it, then zero as it restabilizes, then 10kt in the opposite direction as the gust fades, then zero again. [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 02:42, 30 October 2025 (UTC)
::Ah, but that is IAS. IAS increase in the situation you describe is an artifact of the measurement - transient increase in ram pressure on the Pitot tube. The actual airspeed of the balloon is zero (or close, if you neglect inertia/drag). I refer you to Chapter 5 of of "Stick and Rudder" {{unsigned ip|2603:7000:9c07:5749:cfe:67ca:4e99:71f8|13:37, 30 October 2025}}
:::"...or close". And ''that's'' what the comic is saying. Agree/disagree?
:::(Indented and 'unsigned' you, BTW. You don't need to do anything more to the above, but try to add the proper signing, and any useful indentation, in future edits...) [[Special:Contributions/82.132.244.58|82.132.244.58]] 15:23, 30 October 2025 (UTC)
:::"...if you neglect inertia/drag" Why would you neglect inertia and drag? Real balloons don't magically not have inertia and drag. If you get a sudden gust of wind, the inertia of the balloon will cause its speed to slightly lag the speed of the wind for a few moments. This is precisely what the comic is about [[User:Jeremyp|Jeremyp]] ([[User talk:Jeremyp|talk]]) 13:53, 1 November 2025 (UTC)
:::IAS is what the airplane flies on; it's not a mere measurement error. Ram pressure on the pitot tube is almost always tied to ram pressure on the wings. If you think it's just measurement error, you need to explain that to your airplane when a nearby microburst gives you a huge tailwind, your IAS drops dramatically, and your airplane stalls. [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 03:48, 8 November 2025 (UTC)

Actually, there can be significant wind shear near the earth. If the basket is only a few feet above the ground, you can feel substantial “wind” because the ballioon, being higher up, is being pushed by a faster wind and dragging the basket through the lower, slower, air. If you mount your airspeed indicator on the basket, you can have a significant ‘speed’ relative to the air through which you’re being dragged. When I experienced this the first times, I said, “what the?” The pilot politely explained…… {{unsigned ip|73.162.95.226|03:18, 30 October 2025 (UTC)}}

Couldn't one just break this air speed record by tying the balloon to the ground? --[[Special:Contributions/2001:638:807:507:4EB7:9F4B:6CF9:57A1|2001:638:807:507:4EB7:9F4B:6CF9:57A1]] 07:50, 30 October 2025 (UTC)
: Split the record into positive and negative value records? [[Special:Contributions/2A02:2455:1960:4000:E0C5:65BB:8741:E289|2A02:2455:1960:4000:E0C5:65BB:8741:E289]] 07:56, 30 October 2025 (UTC)
:: A balloon doesn't really have a front/back, so there's not really a positive or negative airspeed. [[Special:Contributions/163.116.254.55|163.116.254.55]] 14:06, 30 October 2025 (UTC)

Replaced the 'many comics about hot air balloons' line with links to the two examples I could find. Suggest if people can find more, these should be placed in a category, and a link to that category given. NB - there are other comics about ''balloons'' of various types, but these are the only two I identified about hot air balloons specifically (and even then one is a partial reference - although the main thrust of the joke - and the other is only by inference). [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 12:14, 31 October 2025 (UTC)

Talk:3161: Airspeed

2025-11-08T03:48:56Z

Jordan Brown: Fluctuations in IAS are not measurement error.

must be a heated competition [[Special:Contributions/79.78.17.137|79.78.17.137]] 21:34, 29 October 2025 (UTC)
:badum-tss! [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 22:17, 29 October 2025 (UTC)
: The record has been given an inflated importance. [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 10:58, 30 October 2025 (UTC)

It's actually worth noting that a quick google says that land speed records for hot air balloons are actually fairly fast, wikipedia claiming it clocks in at around 245 mph. Jet streams allow them to go pretty fast! [[Special:Contributions/45.78.106.197|45.78.106.197]] 23:42, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

Airspeed is relative to the vehicle, and a balloon has no "front", so a gust in one direction is in theory indistinguishable from a lull in the opposite direction; both will appear as a momentary increase in airspeed until the balloon accelerates (in whichever direction) to match the local air movement. (I say "in theory" because if you consider your gusts and lulls relative to the overall movement of the airmass, it's plausible that one or the other will tend to be sharper.) The "gust that allowed them to coast", and the whole notion of "coasting", isn't really right. A non-zero airspeed means that the balloon hasn't re-stabilized with the local air movement, in whichever direction. In fact, "coasting", defined here as momentarily moving differently from the airmass as a whole, is actually an unlikely source of the 2MPH airspeed, because it requires that the balloon accelerate to match local air movement, before returning to the movement of the airmass as a whole. More likely is a localized change (a gust or lull), that causes the local air to be moving differently from the airmass as a whole, while the balloon is still moving with the airmass. Such a localized change might be present for a very small amount of time, not long enough to appreciably change the balloon's movement. But I'm not feeling like spending enough effort to distill that down into one sentence to update the explanation. [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 23:59, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

You don't need a mine shaft to go for the minimum-altitude record, if you're measuring against MSL. Just make sure that your lines and your balloon are really strong, and your basket is really heavy, and your basket is water-tight, and go for {{w|Challenger Deep}}. [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 00:21, 30 October 2025 (UTC)

3161 demonstrates a commonly held fallacy - the balloon has NO actual "airspeed" because it moves passively with the surrounding air mass; it has no method for generating lateral force on its own, to either vector add/subtract airspeed from the moving wind surrounding it. The balloon is never actually being "blown". This isn't just semantics - it has real relevance to powered aircraft flight. {{unsigned ip|2603:7000:9c07:5749:cfe:67ca:4e99:71f8|01:38, 30 October 2025}}/Aviator Joe, CFII
:Sure it does, transiently. It just can't cause itself to have a non-zero airspeed. An abrupt change in the movement of the local air - a gust, horizontal wind shear - would register as a non-zero airspeed, until either the local air goes back to matching the overall airmass (and the balloon), or the balloon accelerates (via drag) to match that moving air. Consider: you're cruising along in your airplane at an indicated airspeed of 100kt, and you get a 10kt gust from the front. Your airspeed indicator momentarily jumps to 110kt until the airplane restabilizes at an IAS of 100kt again, and then when the gust goes away the reverse happens; your IAS drops to 90kt for a while, then returns to 100kt. The exact same thing can happen in a balloon, except that the base IAS is zero - the balloon that you were passing as the gust hit you sees an IAS of 10kt as the gust hits it, then zero as it restabilizes, then 10kt in the opposite direction as the gust fades, then zero again. [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 02:42, 30 October 2025 (UTC)
::Ah, but that is IAS. IAS increase in the situation you describe is an artifact of the measurement - transient increase in ram pressure on the Pitot tube. The actual airspeed of the balloon is zero (or close, if you neglect inertia/drag). I refer you to Chapter 5 of of "Stick and Rudder" {{unsigned ip|2603:7000:9c07:5749:cfe:67ca:4e99:71f8|13:37, 30 October 2025}}
:::"...or close". And ''that's'' what the comic is saying. Agree/disagree?
:::(Indented and 'unsigned' you, BTW. You don't need to do anything more to the above, but try to add the proper signing, and any useful indentation, in future edits...) [[Special:Contributions/82.132.244.58|82.132.244.58]] 15:23, 30 October 2025 (UTC)
:::"...if you neglect inertia/drag" Why would you neglect inertia and drag? Real balloons don't magically not have inertia and drag. If you get a sudden gust of wind, the inertia of the balloon will cause its speed to slightly lag the speed of the wind for a few moments. This is precisely what the comic is about [[User:Jeremyp|Jeremyp]] ([[User talk:Jeremyp|talk]]) 13:53, 1 November 2025 (UTC)
:::IAS is what the airplane flies on; it's not a mere measurement error. Ram pressure on the pitot tube almost always tied to ram pressure on the wings. If you think it's just measurement error, you need to explain that to your airplane when a nearby microburst gives you a huge tailwind, your IAS drops dramatically, and your airplane stalls. [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 03:48, 8 November 2025 (UTC)

Actually, there can be significant wind shear near the earth. If the basket is only a few feet above the ground, you can feel substantial “wind” because the ballioon, being higher up, is being pushed by a faster wind and dragging the basket through the lower, slower, air. If you mount your airspeed indicator on the basket, you can have a significant ‘speed’ relative to the air through which you’re being dragged. When I experienced this the first times, I said, “what the?” The pilot politely explained…… {{unsigned ip|73.162.95.226|03:18, 30 October 2025 (UTC)}}

Couldn't one just break this air speed record by tying the balloon to the ground? --[[Special:Contributions/2001:638:807:507:4EB7:9F4B:6CF9:57A1|2001:638:807:507:4EB7:9F4B:6CF9:57A1]] 07:50, 30 October 2025 (UTC)
: Split the record into positive and negative value records? [[Special:Contributions/2A02:2455:1960:4000:E0C5:65BB:8741:E289|2A02:2455:1960:4000:E0C5:65BB:8741:E289]] 07:56, 30 October 2025 (UTC)
:: A balloon doesn't really have a front/back, so there's not really a positive or negative airspeed. [[Special:Contributions/163.116.254.55|163.116.254.55]] 14:06, 30 October 2025 (UTC)

Replaced the 'many comics about hot air balloons' line with links to the two examples I could find. Suggest if people can find more, these should be placed in a category, and a link to that category given. NB - there are other comics about ''balloons'' of various types, but these are the only two I identified about hot air balloons specifically (and even then one is a partial reference - although the main thrust of the joke - and the other is only by inference). [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 12:14, 31 October 2025 (UTC)

Talk:3165: Earthquake Prediction Flowchart

2025-11-08T03:28:51Z

Jordan Brown: Buffy quote

Gettin pretty sick of the "citation needed" joke appearing in early drafts of our explanations. It's not clever to just say that at random. [citation needed] [[Special:Contributions/69.5.140.194|69.5.140.194]] 03:14, 8 November 2025 (UTC)

It turns out I suddenly find myself... needing to know the plural of apocalypse. -- Riley Finn, Buffy the Vampire Slayer ... [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 03:28, 8 November 2025 (UTC)

Talk:3161: Airspeed

2025-10-30T02:47:26Z

Jordan Brown: indent reply

Talk:3161: Airspeed

2025-10-30T02:42:37Z

Jordan Brown: A balloon can certainly have a non-zero indicated airspeed, momentarily

Talk:3161: Airspeed

2025-10-30T00:21:10Z

Jordan Brown: Minimum-altitude record

Talk:3161: Airspeed

2025-10-29T23:59:51Z

Jordan Brown: "coasting" isn't really right, and isn't a good explanation for the 2mph airspeed

what if? articles

2025-09-27T02:12:20Z

Jordan Brown: typo

<noinclude>{{DISPLAYTITLE:''What If?'' chapters}}:''For other instances of this title, see [[What If (disambiguation)]].''<noinclude>
{{incomplete|There are about '''2''' incomplete explanations below, but [[#1-13|the books-exclusive ones]] are too short! (They should be a summary of the answer, not just 1-2 sentences.) [[#1-13|''(jump to the book-exclusive chapters)'']] ''(For help with the templates, see the '''''[[What If? chapters#Editors|Editors section]]'''''!''}}

</noinclude>This is an index of all articles featured in Randall Munroe's ''what if?'' [[what if? (blog)|blog]] and [[:Category:Books|book series]]. For each article, the original question and a summary of Randall's answer are provided. If an article is available on the blog, you can click the title to read it in full. You can use the columns to sort the table alphabetically, by release date on the blog or YouTube, or by chapter in the books. The thumbnail is only available for articles published on the blog. If the title of a blog article differs from the one in the book, the latter will be provided in the Book column. A much simpler list that doesn't include book-exclusive articles can be found in the [https://what-if.xkcd.com/archive archive section] of the blog.<noinclude>
[[Category:Incomplete explanations| ]]</noinclude>
<div style="clear: both"></div>
{| class="sortable wikitable"
! rowspan="2" scope="col" class="unsortable" | Thumbnail
! rowspan="2" scope="col" data-sort-type=text| Title
! rowspan="2" scope="col" data-sort-type=text| Reader's question
! rowspan="2" scope="col" class="unsortable" | Randall's answer
! colspan="3"| Article available in... <noinclude></noinclude> ''(click to sort)'' <noinclude></noinclude>
|-
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | Blog
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | Books
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | YouTube
|-
|[[File:Relativistic Baseball.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|1|Relativistic Baseball}}'''
|''"What would happen if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light?"''
<div align="right">—Ellen McManis</div>
|The ball would create plasma and reach home plate in about 70 nanoseconds. The result would be some kind of nuclear explosion, destroying everything about a mile from the field. A ruling of "{{w|hit by pitch}}" could be interpreted in this situation.
|{{blog|1|2012|07|10}}
|{{book|1|2}}
|{{book|5|2024|02|06|3EI08o-IGYk|What if you threw a baseball at nearly light speed?}}
|-
|[[File:SAT Guessing.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|2|SAT Guessing}}'''
|''"What if everyone who took the SAT guessed on every multiple-choice question? How many perfect scores would there be?"''
<div align="right">—Rob Balder</div>
|No one would get a perfect score. The odds of guessing correctly on every question would be less than the odds of every living ex-president at that time and the main cast of [[:Category:Firefly|Firefly]] getting struck by lightning on the same day. To put this as a number, the odds of this happening would be less than 1/10^100 (one googol).
|{{blog|2|2012|07|10|7d early}}
|{{book|1|66}}
|
|-
|[[File:Yoda.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|3|Yoda}}'''
|''"How much Force power can Yoda output?"''
<div align="right">—Ryan Finnie</div>
|Yoda can output about 19.2 kilowatts, or 25 horsepower. "Yoda power" would cost about $2/hour.
|{{blog|3|2012|07|17}}
|{{book|1|32}}
|
|-
|[[File:A Moles of Moles.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|4|A Mole of Moles}}'''
|''"What would happen if you were to gather a mole (unit of measurement) of moles (the small furry critter) in one place?"''
<div align="right">—Sean Rice</div>
|In physics, a {{w|mole (unit)|mole}} is a number that equals approximately 6.022 × 10<sup>23</sup>. If this amount of moles (the furry animals) were put in space, they would form a sphere a little bit larger than our Moon with about the same gravity as Pluto. The surface would freeze and trap the interior warmth, causing geysers of hot meat and methane.
|{{blog|4|2012|07|24}}
|{{book|1|10}}
|{{book|29|2025|8|19|lLlwvmu1ZeA|What if you had a mole of moles?}}
|-
|[[File:Robot Apocalypse.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|5|Robot Apocalypse}}'''
|''"What if there was a robot apocalypse? How long would humanity last?"''
<div align="right">—Rob Lombino</div>
|Humanity would most likely survive. Most robots can easily be subdued because technology hasn’t been developed enough to allow them to walk, evade being destroyed, and kill us efficiently. They could decide to use our nuclear weapons, but that would hurt them more than us.
|{{blog|5|2012|07|31}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Glass Half Empty.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|6|Glass Half Empty}}'''
|''"What if a glass of water was, all of a sudden, literally half empty?"''
<div align="right">—Vittorio Iacovella</div>
|If the vacuum were on the bottom half, it would explode, but if it were on the top half, the air rushes in and it becomes normal water.
|{{blog|6|2012|08|07}}
|{{book|1|26}}
|{{book|16|2024|09|24|0EytSWiKrFg|What if a glass of water were LITERALLY half empty?}}
|-
|[[File:Everybody Out.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|7|Everybody Out}}'''
|''"Is there enough energy to move the entire current human population off-planet?"''
<div align="right">—Adam</div>
|No, at least not without starving to death quickly and leaving our pets, belongings, and everything else behind. The best way to do it is either with a space tether or to ride the shockwave of a nuclear bomb, but the former lacks a good material and the latter is literally ''riding the shockwave of a nuclear bomb''. In any case, highly impractical.
|{{blog|7|2012|08|14}}
|{{book|1|35}}
|
|-
|[[File:Everybody Jump.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|8|Everybody Jump}}'''
|''"What would happen if everyone on earth stood as close to each other as they could and jumped, everyone landing on the ground at the same instant?"''
<div align="right">—Thomas Bennett (and many others)</div>
|Earth would be unaffected, but almost all humans would probably be wiped out, due to the congestion of everybody being in one place at once. Utilities and everything requiring human oversight would eventually fail because no one was maintaining them. If airports became functional, only the largest would be able to efficiently get everybody home. Only the people at the edges of the giant crowd would be able to escape, with the rest almost certainly dying due to suffocation. The Earth would then be a lawless wasteland, with a severely diminished population trying to restore humanity to its former glory.
|{{blog|8|2012|08|21}}
|{{book|1|9}}
|{{book|9|2024|04|16|p2M8Y0z9Rl0|What if everyone jumped at once?}}
|-
|[[File:Soul Mates.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|9|Soul Mates}}'''
|''"What if everyone actually had only one soul mate, a random person somewhere in the world?"''
<div align="right">—Benjamin Staffin</div>
|Assuming the soul mate can exist at any time, there is a high chance that you would not find your soul mate. Around 100 billion humans have ever existed, but only 8 billion of those people are alive today. This means that there is an over 90% chance that your soul mate is long dead. This is made worse by the fact that people will also be born in the future, and your soul mate could live very far in the future.

Even if it is assumed that someone's soul mate must be alive while they are alive, there's still a very low chance of finding your soul mate due to the sheer amount of people in the world. Even if you find them, they may speak another language and be unable to understand you.

Jobs would also be affected, with very social jobs such as waiters, cashiers, or traffic guards being highly sought-after.
|{{blog|9|2012|08|28}}
|{{book|1|6}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cassini.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|10|Cassini}}'''
|''"What would the world be like if the land masses were spread out the same way as now - only rotated by an angle of 90 degrees?"''
<div align="right">—Socke</div>
|Hard to tell with any sort of certainty, but North America remains the same (just flipped, so Canada is tropical), South America becomes more like Europe before this question, Asia is flipped just like North America was, Europe becomes more like southeast Asia, Africa's climate is essentially rotated 90 degrees and East Africa gets a lot more tornadoes, Australia is colder and wetter, and Antarctica becomes a tropical rainforest. Of course, the biosphere collapses due to the shuffling and the ice caps (prematurely) melt, while also making certain wildlife appear elsewhere than normal.
|{{blog|10|2012|09|04}}
|
|{{book|23|2025|04|01|WH4g1ptJ-70|What if the Earth rotated 90 degrees?}}
|-
|[[File:Droppings.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|11|Droppings}}'''
|''"If you went outside and lay down on your back with your mouth open, how long would you have to wait until a bird pooped in it?"''
<div align="right">—Adrienne Olson</div>
|Assuming an even distribution of all birds across the Earth's surface and a frequency of 1 poop per hour, it would take you about 195 years on average. However, those assumptions are unrealistic: It would probably be closer to a few hours if you were laying under an area where large amounts of birds are common, such as a power line or tree.
|{{blog|11|2012|09|11}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Raindrop.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|12|Raindrop}}'''
|''"What if a rainstorm dropped all of its water in a single giant drop?"''
<div align="right">—Michael McNeill</div>
|The surrounding area would be obliterated via the violent rush of crushing water, causing flash flooding in the surrounding area. There would be mass confusion for many following years.
|{{blog|12|2012|09|18}}
|{{book|1|65}}
|
|-
|[[File:Laser Pointer.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|13|Laser Pointer}}'''
|''"If every person on Earth aimed a laser pointer at the Moon at the same time, would it change color?"''
<div align="right">—Peter Lipowicz</div>
|It would take lots of power, but yes, assuming you want to drain the Earth's oil and cover Asia in megawatt lasers. Going even further in power level fries the Earth and launches the Moon into the solar system.
|{{blog|13|2012|09|25}}
|{{book|1|7}}
|{{book|18|2024|11|05|JqFSGkFPipM|What if everyone pointed a laser at the moon?}}
|-
| rowspan="7" |[[File:Short Answer Section.png|100px]]
| rowspan="7" |'''{{What If|14|Short Answer Section}}'''
|''"How long would the Sun last if a giant water hose were focused upon it?"''
<div align="right">—Austin Dickey</div>
|The Sun would actually burn brighter due to water being mostly hydrogen (main fusion fuel of stars) and eventually become a black hole with all the mass of the water.
| rowspan="7"{{blog|14|2012|10|02}}
| rowspan="7" |
| rowspan="7" |
|-
|''"What if you shined a flashlight (or a laser) into a sphere made of one-way mirror glass?"''
<div align="right">—Chase Montgomery</div>
|One-way glass does not exist. The light shines through just like normal glass.
|-
|''"If Michael Phelps could hold his breath indefinitely, how long would it take for him to reach the lowest point in the ocean and back if he swam straight down and then straight back up?"''
<div align="right">—Jimmy Morey</div>
|Michael Phelps would die somewhere between 100 and 400 meters of depth. If he were immune to pressure, then it would take 3 hours to swim to the bottom of the Marianas Trench and back.
|-
|''"In the first Superman movie, Superman flies around Earth so fast that it begins turning in the opposite direction. This somehow turns back time [... ] How much energy would someone flying around the Earth have to exert in order to reverse the Earth's rotation?"''
<div align="right">—Aidan Blake</div>
|Superman wasn't pushing the Earth. He was flying {{w|Superluminal motion|superluminally}} and was thus travelling back through time.
|-
|''"How fast would you have to go in your car to run a red light claiming that it appeared green to you due to the Doppler Effect?"''
<div align="right">—Yitzi Turniansky</div>
|The {{w|Doppler Effect}} is when waves (such as light or sound) change based on movement or position. You would need to go about one sixth of the {{w|speed of light}}.
|-
|''"What would happen if you opened a portal between Boston (sea level) and Mexico City (elev. 8000+ feet)?"''
<div align="right">—Jake G.</div>
|There would be winds of 440 mph (708 km/h) sucking Boston into Mexico City.
|-
|''"When my wife and I started dating she invited me over for dinner at one time. Her kitchen had something called Bauhaus chairs, which are full of holes, approx 5-6 millimeters in diameter in both back and seat. During this lovely dinner I was forced to liberate a small portion of wind and was relieved that I managed to do so very discretely. Only to find that the chair I sat on converted the successful silence into a perfect, and loud, flute note. We were both (luckily) amazed and surprised and I have often wondered what the odds are for something like that happening. We kept the chairs for five years but despite laborious attempts it couldn't be reproduced."''
<div align="right">—R. D.</div>
|This... isn’t actually a question, but thank you for sharing!
|-
|[[File:Mariana Trench Explosion.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|15|Mariana Trench Explosion}}'''
|''"What if you exploded a nuclear bomb (say, the Tsar Bomba) at the bottom of the Marianas Trench?"''
<div align="right">—Evin Sellin</div>
|Surprisingly, not much! Large waves already disappear quickly when created by surface explosions, and moving the detonation underwater only lessens the effect. If you exploded a Tsar Bomba at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, the resulting eruption would create massive bubbles before turning into warm water and debris.
|{{blog|15|2012|10|09}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="6" |[[File:Today's topic- Lightning.png|100px]]
| rowspan="6" |'''{{What If|16|Today's topic: Lightning}}'''
|''"How dangerous is it to be in a pool during a thunderstorm?"''
<div align="right">—Jay Gengelbach</div>
|Pretty dangerous, as if the pool was hit, 20,000 amps of electricity from the lightning bolt would spread across the surface and shock you. Randall recommends that one should stay at least 12 meters away from a pool during a thunderstorm.
| rowspan="6"{{blog|16|2012|10|16}}
| rowspan="6"{{book|1|19|Lightning}}
| rowspan="6" |
|-
|''"What would happen if you were taking a shower or standing under a waterfall when you were struck by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—Same3Chords</div>
|The droplets of water wouldn’t be dangerous, but a tub of water or any puddle you stand in ''will'' be dangerous.
|-
|''"What would happen if you were in a boat, plane or a submarine that got hit by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—Soobnauce</div>
|A boat would be as safe as a car if it had a cabin and lightning protection, while a submarine would be completely safe. The plane was not mentioned.
|-
|''"What if you were changing the light at the top of a radio tower and lightning struck? Or what if you were doing a backflip? Or standing in a graphite field? Or looking straight up at the bolt?"''
<div align="right">—Danny Wedul</div>
|You would get shocked normally if you were on a radio tower, doing a backflip, or looking straight up. These all don’t matter much. Randall doesn’t know what a graphite field is and chose not to answer that part of the question.
|-
|''"What would happen if lightning struck a bullet in midair?"''
<div align="right">—Timothy Campbell</div>
|The bullet might be heated a little bit, but it’s travelling too fast to have any impact.
|-
|''"What if you were flashing your BIOS during a thunderstorm and you got hit by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—NJSG</div>
|It would bring you to “Microsoft BOB®”, “Gateway 2000 Edition”.
|-
|[[File:Green Cows.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|17|Green Cows}}'''
|''"If cows could photosynthesize, how much less food would they need?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|They would need 4% less food. There simply isn't enough area on the cow for photosynthesis to provide all its energy requirements.
|{{blog|17|2012|10|23}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:BB Gun.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|18|BB Gun}}'''
|''"In Armageddon, a NASA guy comments that a plan to shoot a laser at the asteroid is like “shooting a b.b. gun at a freight train.” What would it take to stop an out-of-control freight train using only b.b. guns?"''
<div align="right">—Charles James O'Keefe</div>
|This would normally be impossible. However, with enough people shooting the train, it can happen. This would require about 100,000 people shooting, distributed over 2 kilometers of track, each firing a few dozen rounds once the train comes close enough. This would, eventually, be enough to bring the train to a stop.
|{{blog|18|2012|10|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Tie Vote.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|19|Tie Vote}}'''
|''"What if there's LITERALLY a tie?"''
<div align="right">—Nate Silver (<span class="plainlinks">[https://twitter.com/fivethirtyeight/status/154434288287363072 '''Twitter, January 4th, 2012''']</span>)</div>
|In the case of each candidate getting the exact same amount of votes on Election Day, most states would randomly pick one, whether it be through tossing a coin, drawing a name or straws. The chances of this happening in 9 battleground states would be about equal to the elector drawing a name from a hat, then being smashed by a bale of cocaine by drug smugglers and obliterated by a meteorite impact while being swept away in a tornado.
|{{blog|19|2012|11|06}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Diamond.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|20|Diamond}}'''
|''"If a meteor made out of diamond and 100 feet in diameter was traveling at the speed of light and hit the earth, what would happen to it?"''
<div align="right">—Aidan Smith, Age 8, via his father Jeff</div>
|Nothing made of matter can travel at the speed of light, but at the closest speed observed (99.99999999999999999999951% of the speed of light, the speed of the {{w|Oh-My-God particle}}), the Earth would explode with enough force to obliterate the entire Solar System.
|{{blog|20|2012|11|13}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Machine Gun Jetpack.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|21|Machine Gun Jetpack}}'''
|''"Is it possible to build a jetpack using downward firing machine guns?"''
<div align="right">—Rob B</div>
|You'd need a Russian 30 mm rotary cannon to do it optimally, and the excessive force would definitely hurt you. If you braced the rider, created an aerodynamic craft strong enough to survive the acceleration, and cooled the craft, you'd be able to jump mountains.
|{{blog|21|2012|11|20}}
|{{book|1|14|Machine-Gun Jetpack}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cost of Pennies.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|22|Cost of Pennies}}'''
|''"If you carry a penny in your coin tray, how long would it take for that penny to cost you more than a cent in extra gas?"''
<div align="right">—Leto Atreides</div>
|140,000 miles if gas was the only cost involved. The exercise of picking up the penny can prolong your lifespan, but you've wasted valuable seconds reading this article.
|{{blog|22|2012|11|27}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="7" |[[File:Short Answer Section II.png|100px]]
| rowspan="7" |'''{{What If|23|Short Answer Section II}}'''
|''"If my printer could literally print out money, would it have that big an effect on the world?"''
<div align="right">—Derek O’Brien</div>
| Using the printer, you could make about 200 million dollars per year, depending on the type of printer. This would actually be the perfect sweet spot for you, as it would be enough to make you very, very rich, but not enough to have any effect on the world. The United States [https://www.bep.gov/currency/production-figures/annual-production-reports prints approximately $160 billion per year], so $200 million a year would be nothing more than a drop in the bucket.
| rowspan="7"{{blog|23|2012|12|04}}
| rowspan="7"{{book|1|18|Short-Answer Section}}
| rowspan="7" |
|-
|''"What would happen if you exploded a nuclear bomb in the eye of a hurricane? Would the storm cell be immediately vaporized?"''
<div align="right">—Rupert Bainbridge (and hundreds of others)</div>
|No. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has [https://www.aoml.noaa.gov/hrd-faq/#hurricane-mitigation:~:text=Stop%20a%20Hurricane%3F-,Nuclear%20Weapons,-Adding%20Hygroscopic%20Particles has published a response] explaining why it wouldn't work.
|-
|''"If everyone put little turbine generators on the downspouts of their houses and businesses, how much power would we generate? Would we ever generate enough power to offset the cost of the generators?"''
<div align="right">—Damien</div>
|If it's very rainy, it would generate 800 watts of power, which isn't enough to offset the cost of the generators.
|-
|''"Using only pronounceable letter combinations, how long would names have to be to give each star in the universe a unique one word name?"''
<div align="right">—Seamus Johnson</div>
|About 24 characters.
|-
|''"I bike to class sometimes. It's annoying biking in the wintertime, because it's so cold. How fast would I have to bike for my skin to warm up the way a spacecraft heats up during reentry?"''
<div align="right">—David Nai</div>
|You'd have to bike at about 200 m/s, which would make your commute very fast indeed. However, the amount of energy required to bike at that speed would cause you to die from overexertion. This might work if you didn't exert any energy, however.
|-
|''"How much physical space does the internet take up?"''
<div align="right">—Max L</div>
|Using humanity's total produced storage space from the last few years as an upper bound, and assuming 3.5" drives, the Internet is less than the size of an oil tank.
|-
|''"What if you strapped C4 to a boomerang? Could this be an effective weapon, or would it be as stupid as it sounds?"''
<div align="right">—Chad Macziewski</div>
|Strapping C4 to a boomerang does not sound like an effective weapon. The weapon as depicted in the image would have terrible aerodynamics, and would not fly an easily predictable trajectory. C4 is, by itself, an inert substance which would need some form of detonator to actually explode, in which case it would depend upon how you set it up (e.g. timer or inertial trigger) and at what point in its flight this would activate. ''If'' this happened as it returns (or flies past, if thrown reasonably correctly but being unable or unwilling to catch it), it might kill or injure the thrower and/or those nearby. There were many unstated details as to how the proposal would be implemented, as Randall lampshades in his open answer.
|-
|[[File:Model Rockets.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|24|Model Rockets}}'''
|''"How many model rocket engines would it take to launch a real rocket into space?"''
<div align="right">—Greg Schock, PA</div>
|It would take about 65,000, but they’d have to be layered in a cone shape with about 30 stages so the vehicle has thrust for long enough. It could carry 60 kg, much of that spent on all the parts of the rocket that aren't the engine. And this contraption would not attain orbital velocity, but rapidly fall back to Earth after briefly leaving the atmosphere. Accelerating to orbital velocity is a whole other class of problem and cannot be achieved using model rocket engines in any practical way.
|{{blog|24|2012|12|11}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Three Wise Men.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|25|Three Wise Men}}'''
|''"The story of the three wise men got me wondering: What if you did walk towards a star at a fixed speed? What path would you trace on the Earth? Does it converge to a fixed cycle?"''
<div align="right">—N. Murdoch</div>
|No, but the paths they would take would make some really cool patterns due to various factors, such as the Earth's rotation and its position changing in its orbit around the Sun.
|{{blog|25|2012|12|18}}
|
|{{book|22|2025|03|04|YL2VNtus4xk|What if the wise men kept walking after Jesus’s birth?}}
|-
|[[File:Leap Seconds.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|26|Leap Seconds}}'''
|''"Every now and then we have to insert a leap second because the Earth’s rotation is slowing down. Could we speed up Earth’s rotation, so that we do not need Leap Seconds?"''
<div align="right">—Anton (Berlin, Germany)</div>
|The only real way to do this is by hitting Earth with asteroids; all other ideas would be too difficult or wouldn’t work. With 50,000 planets B-612 hitting the Earth each second and a few assumptions, we could stop worrying about leap seconds (mostly because it would deliver the energy of about one dinosaur-killer asteroid every couple days, wiping out life on Earth quite quickly)
|{{blog|26|2012|12|31|6d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Death Rates.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|27|Death Rates}}'''
|''"If one randomly chosen extra person were to die each second somewhere on Earth, what impact would it have on the world population?"''
<div align="right">—Guy Petzall</div>
|The world population would continue to grow, though 40% more slowly. Pilots, drivers, and surgeons would die en route and mid-operation, but these would be comparable to usual accident rates and handled fairly easily.
|{{blog|27|2013|01|08|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Steak Drop.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|28|Steak Drop}}'''
|''"From what height would you need to drop a steak for it to be cooked when it hit the ground?"''
<div align="right">—Alex Lahey</div>
|From the very edge of the atmosphere, but even in that case it might not be fully cooked, as the steak will have to pass through parts of the atmosphere that are freezing cold and the parts of the fall where heat is being applied are more likely to char and disintegrate the steak than cook it.
|{{blog|28|2013|01|15}}
|{{book|1|23}}
|
|-
|[[File:Spent Fuel Pool.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|29|Spent Fuel Pool}}'''
|''"What if I took a swim in a typical spent nuclear fuel pool? Would I need to dive to actually experience a fatal amount of radiation? How long could I stay safely at the surface?"''
<div align="right">—Jonathan Bastien-Filiatrault</div>
|As long as you don't touch strange things and you don't swim too close to the fuel rods, it would be just like a regular pool. Except for the fact you would never make it to the pool, as the guards would notice and shoot you to death.
|{{blog|29|2013|01|22}}
|{{book|1|3}}
|{{book|8|2024|04|02|EFRUL7vKdU8|What if you swam in a nuclear storage pool?}}
|-
|[[File:Interplanetary Cessna.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|30|Interplanetary Cessna}}'''
|''"What would happen if you tried to fly a normal Earth airplane above different Solar System bodies?"''
<div align="right">—Glen Chiacchieri</div>
|It would be difficult to fly on Mars, so you would crash. The gas giants also have this problem, and you would freeze and tumble. Titan and Venus are the best bets, but Titan is cold and Venus is full of sulfuric acid.
|{{blog|30|2013|01|29}}
|{{book|1|30}}
|
|-
|[[File:FedEx Bandwidth.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|31|FedEx Bandwidth}}'''
|''"When - if ever - will the bandwidth of the Internet surpass that of FedEx?"''
<div align="right">—Johan Öbrink</div>
|Probably never, unless the Internet's transfer rate grows faster than storage rates, the Internet won't surpass an army of FedEx trucks. However, the ping times would be ''absurd''.
|{{blog|31|2013|02|05}}
|{{book|1|44}}
|
|-
|[[File:Hubble.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|32|Hubble}}'''
|''"If the Hubble telescope were aimed at the Earth, how detailed would the images be?"''
<div align="right">—Kyle Rankin</div>
|Very blurry because Hubble isn't able to rotate fast enough to track it on the surface of the Earth. Hubble is the wrong tool for the job, you're thinking of a spy satellite.
|{{blog|32|2013|02|12}}
|
|{{book|1|2023|11|29|2LSyizrk8-0|What if we aimed the Hubble Telescope at Earth?}}
|-
|[[File:Ships.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|33|Ships}}'''
|''"How much would the sea level fall if every ship were removed all at once from the Earth's waters?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Toje</div>
|The sea level would fall by about 6 microns, slightly more than the diameter of a strand of spider silk. However, since the oceans are currently rising at about 3.3 millimeters per year due to global warming, the water would be back up to its original average level in 16 hours.
|{{blog|33|2013|02|19}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:what if? Twitter.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|34|Twitter}}'''
|''"How many unique English tweets are possible? How long would it take for the population of the world to read them all out loud?"''
<div align="right">—Eric H., Hopatcong, NJ</div>
|Since there are 2 * 10<sup>46</sup> meaningful English tweets, reading them all would take 10,000 "eternal years", with an eternal day being the length of time needed to wear down a mountain if a bird scraped 1 grain every thousand years.
|{{blog|34|2013|02|26}}
|{{book|1|50}}
|
|-
|[[File:Hair Dryer.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|35|Hair Dryer}}'''
|''"What would happen if a hair dryer with continuous power was turned on and put in an airtight 1x1x1 meter box?"''
<div align="right">—Nathan Terrell</div>
|The box would heat until the ground starts melting, and going further, it would eventually create updrafts and bounce around everywhere. Turning it off and on again would launch it out of the sky in glowing fury.
|{{blog|35|2013|03|05}}
|{{book|1|11}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cornstarch.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|36|Cornstarch}}'''
|''"How much cornstarch can I rinse down the drain before unpleasant things start to happen?"''
<div align="right">—Anna R., Fort Wayne, IN</div>
|It depends what you consider unpleasant. Your sink will clog and your house will flood with oobleck, but if you really really like cornstarch then nothing unpleasant will happen.
|{{blog|36|2013|03|12}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Supersonic Stereo.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|37|Supersonic Stereo}}'''
|''"What if you somehow managed to make a stereo travel at twice the speed of sound, would it sound backwards to someone who was just casually sitting somewhere as it flies by?"''
<div align="right">—Tim Currie</div>
|Assuming the stereo is indestructible, yes. Although you’d only get it supersonic for less than a second, and the music would be heavily compressed after the sonic boom.
|{{blog|37|2013|03|19}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:what if? Voyager.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|38|Voyager}}'''
|''"With today's technology, would it be possible to launch an unmanned mission to retrieve Voyager I?"''
<div align="right">—Elliot Bennett</div>
|You could ''reach'' Voyager I with some well-timed gravity assists from Jupiter and Saturn, but getting back would require an ''absurd'' amount of fuel. You could use ion fields to require less fuel, but they also produce less thrust.
|{{blog|38|2013|03|26}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Hockey Puck.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|39|Hockey Puck}}'''
|''"How hard would a puck have to be shot to be able to knock the goalie himself backwards into the net?"''
<div align="right">—Tom</div>
|This can't really happen, due to the size and weight difference between the goalie and a hockey puck. You'd need to fire an object at Mach 8 to knock the goalie back, but firing a puck at that speed would char the puck while air resistance would slow it down. If you actually did fire a hockey puck at a goalie at high speeds, it would have the same effect as hitting a cake with a tomato as hard as you can.
|{{blog|39|2013|04|02}}
|{{book|1|24}}
|
|-
|[[File:Pressure Cooker.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|40|Pressure Cooker}}'''
|''"Am I right to be afraid of pressure cookers? What's the worst thing that can happen if you misuse a pressure cooker in an ordinary kitchen?"''
<div align="right">—Delphine Lourtau</div>
|Ordinarily, the worst that can happen is the lid blowing off and superheated liquid spraying everywhere, but you can use one to make {{w|Dioxygen difluoride}}, which is much worse.
|{{blog|40|2013|04|9}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Go West.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|41|Go West}}'''
|''"If everybody in the US drove west, could we temporarily halt continental drift?"''
<div align="right">—Derek</div>
|No. While technically the car fleet would outpace the continental drift, the continental drift is being powered by the forces in the Earth's mantle, and these forces outmatch the car fleet by millions of times.
|{{blog|41|2013|04|16}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Longest Sunset.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|42|Longest Sunset}}'''
|''"What is the longest possible sunset you can experience while driving, assuming we are obeying the speed limit and driving on paved roads?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Berg</div>
|The longest way you can experience a sunset is by driving on certain roads in Norway and Finland for 95 minutes, as this is where the best method to outpace the Sun works (outpacing {{w|Terminator (solar)|the terminator}}). A similar concept has been explored in comic [[162: Angular Momentum]].
|{{blog|42|201304|23}}
|{{book|1|52}}
|
|-
|[[File:Train Loop.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|43|Train Loop}}'''
|''"Could a high-speed train run through a vertical loop, like a rollercoaster, with the passengers staying comfortable?"''
<div align="right">—Gero Walter</div>
|Even if we change the requirements to just the passengers surviving, this isn't plausible. A train can't complete a full loop without the loop being too small, making the train move too fast and making every passenger die from the g-forces involved.
|{{blog|43|2013|04|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:High Throw.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|44|High Throw}}'''
|''"How high can a human throw something?"''
<div align="right">—Irish Dave on the Isle of Man</div>
|Using estimations and aerodynamics calculations, Aroldis Champman (holder of the record for fastest pitch) could probably throw up to 16 giraffes high if he was using a golf ball. Unless you count letting go of balloons, of course.
|{{blog|44|2013|05|07}}
|{{book|1|38}}
|
|-
|[[File:ISS Music Video.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|45|ISS Music Video}}'''
|''"Is [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaOC9danxNo '''this'''] the most expensive music video ever?"''
<div align="right">—Various Youtube commenters</div>
|No. If the construction cost of the setpiece is how this is measured, then it would be U2's "Last Night on Earth" on a section of Interstate Highway. If not, then it doesn't even come close to Thriller.
|{{blog|45|2013|05|14}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Bowling Ball.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|46|Bowling Ball}}'''
|''"I've been told that if the Earth were shrunk down to the size of a bowling ball, it would be smoother than said bowling ball. My question is, what would a bowling ball look like if it were blown up to the size of the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Seth C.</div>
|A bowling ball the size of the Earth would be much less dense, and have much less gravity. Due to this, the finger holes would collapse. causing eruptions of hydrocarbons and scars similar to those on the Moon.
|{{blog|46|2013|05|21}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Alien Astronomers.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|47|Alien Astronomers}}'''
|''"Let's assume there's life on the the nearest habitable exoplanet and that they have technology comparable to ours. If they looked at our star right now, what would they see?"''
<div align="right">—Chuck H.</div>
|They wouldn't be able to see us very well. Radio waves fade quickly in space and we've stopped sending out as many of them. If they happened to pick up, they would only get a message similar to the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wow!_signal Wow! Signal]. The best message they could see is visible light, as the water and weather on Earth's surface would be a telltale marker of some form of life.
|{{blog|47|2013|05|28}}
|{{book|1|28}}
|
|-
|[[File:Sunset on the British Empire.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|48|Sunset on the British Empire}}'''
|''"When (if ever) did the Sun finally set on the British Empire?"''
<div align="right">—Kurt Amundson</div>
|If the British Empire kept the borders it had when the question was written, it would continue to experience eternal sunshine for many thousands of years until a total eclipse hits the Pitcairn Islands at the right time. However, after the publication of this article, it has been announced that [https://www.mondayeconomist.com/p/british-empire#:~:text=On%20March%2021st%2C%202025%2C%20a,part%20of%20the%20British%20Empire the British Indian Ocean Territory will become part of Mauritus] in March 2025, allowing the Sun to finally set on the British Empire.
|{{blog|48|2013|06|04}}
|{{book|1|60}}
|
|-
|[[File:Sunless Earth.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|49|Sunless Earth}}'''
|''"What would happen to the Earth if the Sun suddenly switched off?"''
<div align="right">—Many, many readers</div>
|We would see a variety of benefits across our lives such as the elimination of time zones, more reliable satellites, easier astronomy, and safer wild parsnip, but the downside is we would all freeze and die.
|{{blog|49|2013|06|11}}
|{{book|1|57}}
|{{book|24|2025|04|15|X7sbn9LMZOg| What if the sun suddenly went out?}}
|-
|[[File:Extreme Boating.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|50|Extreme Boating}}'''
|''"What would it be like to navigate a rowboat through a lake of mercury? What about bromine? Liquid gallium? Liquid tungsten? Liquid nitrogen? Liquid helium?"''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Aron</div>
|It would be difficult to row the boat on mercury because it's very dense. Bromine smells terrible and is highly toxic. Gallium would dissolve an aluminium boat. Liquid tungsten would incinerate you instantly. Liquid nitrogen would kill you either by suffocation or hypothermia. Liquid helium's superfluid properties would sink your boat, but at least you'd hear the “third sound” as you die.
|{{blog|50|2013|06|18}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Free Fall.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|51|Free Fall}}'''
|''"What place on Earth would allow you to freefall the longest by jumping off it? What about using a squirrel suit?"''
<div align="right">—Dhash Shrivathsa</div>
|It takes 26 seconds to fall from the top of {{w|Mount Thor}} into a pit of cotton candy at the bottom of the cliff. The record for the longest wingsuit glide is enough time for Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi to eat 45 hot dogs.
|{{blog|51|2013|06|25}}
|{{book|1|45}}
|
|-
|[[File:Bouncy Balls.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|52|Bouncy Balls}}'''
|''"What if one were to drop 3,000 bouncy balls from a seven story parking structure onto a person walking on the sidewalk below? Should the person survive, what would be the number of bouncy balls needed to kill them? What injuries would occur and what would the associated crimes be?"''
<div align="right">—Ginger Bread</div>
|Around 3,000,000 balls. Death would occur and you would be charged with manslaughter or murder.
|{{blog|52|2013|07|02}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Drain the Oceans.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|53|Drain the Oceans}}'''
|''"How quickly would the ocean's drain if a circular portal 10 meters in radius leading into space was created at the bottom of Challenger Deep, the deepest spot in the ocean? How would the Earth change as the water is being drained?"''
<div align="right">—Ted M.</div>
|Hundreds of thousands of years, so you'll need a bigger portal. As their basins are cut off, many shallow seas and a few deep trenches remain, leaving much of Earth still covered with water. Massive, unpredictable environmental changes would probably wipe out mankind. If they didn't, the Dutch would take over the world, no longer preoccupied with preventing their lands from flooding as they are now.
|{{blog|53|2013|07|09}}
|{{book|1|48}}
|{{book|12|2024|06|18|Jpy55EgMQgY|What if you drained the oceans?}}
|-
|[[File:Drain the Oceans Part II.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|54|Drain the Oceans: Part II}}'''
|''"Supposing you did '''{{what if|53|Drain the Oceans}}''', and dumped the water on top of the Curiosity rover, how would Mars change as the water accumulated?"''
<div align="right">—Iain</div>
|The water would fill the {{w|Valles Marineris}}, eventually leaving only {{w|Olympus Mons}} and some other small islands. The sea would ultimately freeze over, become covered in dust, and migrate to permafrost at the poles. In the meantime, the Netherlands would colonize Mars through the portal. The video additionally mentions that the greenhouse gas effects caused by all the new water might keep Mars's oceans liquid.
|{{blog|54|2013|07|16}}
|{{book|1|49}}
|{{book|14|2024|08|13|FkUNHhVbQ1Q|What if we teleported the oceans to Mars?}}
|-
|[[File:Random Sneeze Call.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|55|Random Sneeze Call}}'''
|''"If you call a random phone number and say "God bless you", what are the chances that the person who answers just sneezed? On average, not just in spring or fall."''
<div align="right">—Mimi</div>
|The chances they just sneezed are 1 in 40000. There's also a 1 in a billion chance that the person you called just murdered someone, a 1 in 10 trillion chance they've just been killed by lightning, and another 1 in 10 trillion chance that you and the other person called each other simultaneously.
|{{blog|55|2013|07|23}}
|{{book|1|53}}
|
|-
|[[File:Restraining an Airplane.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|56|Restraining an Airplane}}'''
|''"If you wanted to anchor an airplane into the ground so it wouldn't be able to take off, what would the rope have to be made out of?"''
<div align="right">—Connor Childerhose</div>
|A steel cable an inch thick, the lines of an army of fishermen, or the hair of 20 people. Hair has the highest tensile strength of any material in your body.
|{{blog|56|2013|07|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Dropping a Mountain.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|57|Dropping a Mountain}}'''
|''"What if a huge mountain—Denali, say—had the bottom inch of its base disappear? What would happen from the impact of the mountain falling 1 inch? What about 1 foot? What if the mountain's base were raised to the present height of the summit, and then the whole thing were allowed to drop to the earth?"''
<div align="right">—John-Clark Levin</div>
|An inch or a foot wouldn't do much, it would only feel like a 3.5 magnitude earthquake. Dropped from its own height, Denali would cause a magnitude 7 earthquake and crush coal to diamonds. Dropped from space, that's just a large asteroid and it would cause an impact winter.
|{{blog|57|2013|08|06}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="3" |[[File:Orbital Speed.png|100px]]
| rowspan="3" |'''{{What If|58|Orbital Speed}}'''
|''"What if a spacecraft slowed down on re-entry to just a few miles per hour using rocket boosters like the Mars-sky-crane? Would it negate the need for a heat shield?"''
<div align="right">—Brian</div>
| rowspan="3" |No, because you need to go 8 km/s to stay in orbit, and it would take impossible amounts of fuel to slow down.
| rowspan="3"{{blog|58|2013|08|12|1d early}}
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|43}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
|''"Is it possible for a spacecraft to control its reentry in such a way that it avoids the atmospheric compression and thus would not require the expensive (and relatively fragile) heat shield on the outside?"''
<div align="right">—Christopher Mallow</div>
|-
|''"Could a (small) rocket (with payload) be lifted to a high point in the atmosphere where it would only need a small rocket to get to escape velocity?"''
<div align="right">—Kenny Van de Maele</div>
|-
|[[File:Updating a Printed Wikipedia.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|59|Updating a Printed Wikipedia}}'''
|''"If you had a printed version of the whole of (say, the English) Wikipedia, how many printers would you need in order to keep up with the changes made to the live version?"''
<div align="right">—Susanne Könings</div>
|You'd need six printers, but if using an ink printer, costs would rack up to $500,000 a month, dwarfing paper and maintenance costs. You'd need to file away past versions in case they were reverted (restored), which would be a nightmare.
|{{blog|59|2013|08|20|1d late}}
|{{book|1|58}}
|{{book|13|2024|7|9|RgBYohJ7mIk|What if you tried to print Wikipedia?}}
|-
|[[File:Signs of Life.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|60|Signs of Life}}'''
|''"If you could teleport to a random place of the surface of the Earth, what are the odds that you'll see signs of intelligent life?"''
<div align="right">—Borislav Stanimirov</div>
|70% of the time you would end up in the ocean, while most of the rest will be somewhere uninhabited. But if it’s night, you can see satellites just by looking up.
|{{blog|60|2013|08|27}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Speed Bump.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|61|Speed Bump}}'''
|''"How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live?"''
<div align="right">—Myrlin Barber</div>
|At highway speeds, you could wreck your tires and suspension. Around 150-300 mph, the aerodynamics of a typical sedan will cause it to flip and crash before even reaching the speed bump. At 90% the speed of light, you could face a billion-dollar speeding ticket.
|{{blog|61|2013|09|03}}
|{{book|1|41}}
|
|-
|[[File:Falling With Helium.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|62|Falling With Helium}}'''
|''"What if I jumped out of an airplane with a couple of tanks of helium and one huge, un-inflated balloon? Then, while falling, I release the helium and fill the balloon. How long of a fall would I need in order for the balloon to slow me enough that I could land safely?"''
<div align="right">—Colin Rowe</div>
|You would need a balloon at least 10 to 20 meters across to slow your fall, as well as needing 10 helium tanks that are 250 cubic feet. You'd have to do it really quickly though, and starting from a higher place will not help due to the atmosphere's thinness making you accelerate.
|{{blog|62|2013|09|10}}
|{{book|1|34}}
|
|-
|[[File:Google's Datacenters on Punch Cards.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|63|Google's Datacenters on Punch Cards}}'''
|''"If all digital data were stored on punch cards, how big would Google's data warehouse be?"''
<div align="right">—James Zetlin</div>
|Using electric consumption and datacenter spending as a measuring stick, Google probably has around 1-2 million servers, which equates to around 15 exabytes (or 15,000,000,000,000,000,000 bytes). Assuming a punch card holds 80 characters, all of that data comes out to 4.5 kilometers/2.8 miles, 3x deeper than the New England ice sheets.
|{{blog|63|2013|09|17}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Rising Steadily.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|64|Rising Steadily}}'''
|''"If you suddenly began rising steadily at one foot per second, how exactly would you die? Would you freeze or suffocate first? Or something else?"''
<div align="right">—Rebecca B</div>
|A nudist would survive for five hours, then succumb to the cold. With a good coat, one would survive for seven, even plausibly eight, until reaching the low-oxygen {{w|death zone}} and suffocating. However, your corpse would outlast the Earth as it was swallowed by the Sun.
|{{blog|64|2013|09|24}}
|{{book|1|15}}
|
|-
|[[File:Twitter Timeline Height.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|65|Twitter Timeline Height}}'''
|''"If our Twitter timelines (tweets by the people we follow) actually extended off the screen in both directions, how tall would they be?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|It's difficult to pin down an "average" for Twitter timeline lengths, but an estimate by Diego Basch and the Tweet rate as of 2013 suggests that the section timeline extending to the past would have 345 billion tweets and be 8,000,000 kilometers (5,000,000 miles) tall. Using extrapolation techniques similar to those used in the {{w|German tank problem}}, the future and past timelines combined would likely contain 690 billion tweets.
|{{blog|65|2013|10|01}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:500 MPH.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|66|500 MPH}}'''
|''"If winds reached 500 mph, would it pick up a human?"''
<div align="right">—Grey Flynn, age 7, Stoneham, MA</div>
|500 mph winds are more than fast enough to pick up a person and propel them through the air. In fact, 500 mph winds are so fast that they only occur on Earth in extreme situations like the immediate vicinity of an erupting volcano or the aftermath of a major asteroid impact at which point wind speed would only be one of many dangers to human survival.
|{{blog|66|2013|10|08}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |[[File:Expanding Earth.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|67|Expanding Earth}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"How long would it take for people to notice their weight gain if the mean radius of the world expanded by 1cm every second? (Assuming the average composition of rock were maintained.)"''
<div align="right">—Dennis O’Donnell</div>
| rowspan="2" |After a month, the gain would be measurable but within the normal variation of gravity. After a year, it would be more prominent at 5%. Humans could survive with difficulty for a decade, but even in specially-built environments, they would succumb within a century as air itself became toxic from atmospheric pressure. After a few centuries, the Moon would fall into the Roche limit and crumble into rings.
| rowspan="2" {{blog|67|2013|10|15}}
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|55}}
|{{book|17|2024|10|15|-1-ldW4kpLM|What if Earth grew 1cm every second?}}
|-
|{{book|6|short-video=yes|2025|08|05|5k8ciEx__5w|Circumference pop quiz!}}
|-
|[[File:Little Planet.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|68|Little Planet}}'''
|''"If an asteroid was very small but supermassive, could you really live on it like the Little Prince?"''
<div align="right">—Samantha Harper</div>
|Technically, yes. However, there would be major challenges. For one, gravity would be at full strength at your feet, but only 25% strength at your head, giving the illusion that you're being stretched. You would need to sprint at 3 meters per second to leave orbit. However, if you don't make it to that point, you would enter a highly eccentric orbit which would pull on your body in strange ways. Alternatively, you could escape the atmosphere by jumping. If you can make a dunk in basketball on Earth, you could escape this body by jumping.
|{{blog|68|2013|10|22}}
|{{book|1|22}}
|
|-
|[[File:Facebook of the Dead.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|69|Facebook of the Dead}}'''
|''"When, if ever, will Facebook contain more profiles of dead people than of living ones?"''
<div align="right">—Emily Dunham</div>
|This depends on if Facebook stays popular or declines in popularity over time. In the former case, the dead would only outnumber the living well into the 2100s; while in the latter, this happens around 2060. Facebook can afford to keep all our data indefinitely, but there are ethical questions.
|{{blog|69|2013|10|29}}
|{{book|1|59}}
|
|-
|[[File:The Constant Groundskeeper.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|70|The Constant Groundskeeper}}'''
|''"How big of a lawn would you have to have so that when you finished mowing you'd need to start over because the grass has grown?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Nelson</div>
|A normal, standard-issue mower running for 10 hours straight could cut an area of 25,000 square meters, or 27,000 yards. Using a much faster mower commissioned by the magazine ''Top Gear'' that is used all day, every day, it could cut an adult male cougar's home range (which [https://wdfw.wa.gov/species-habitats/species/puma-concolor#:~:text=Adult%20male%20cougars%20roam%20widely,terrain%2C%20and%20availability%20of%20prey. the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife] reports as 50-150 miles or 80-240 kilometers).
|{{blog|70|2013|11|05}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Stirring Tea.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|71|Stirring Tea}}'''
|''"I was absentmindedly stirring a cup of hot tea, when I got to thinking, "aren't I actually adding kinetic energy into this cup?" I know that stirring does help to cool down the tea, but what if I were to stir it faster? Would I be able to boil a cup of water by stirring?"''
<div align="right">—Will Evans</div>
|No, not really, It would take at least 1 horsepower (a lot for a person stirring), and reducing the power would just make it cool faster. Stirring faster and faster would cause a vacuum to form and stirring to become ineffective.
|{{blog|71|2013|11|12}}
|{{book|1|61}}
|
|-
|[[File:Loneliest Human.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|72|Loneliest Human}}'''
|''"What is the furthest one human being has ever been from every other living person? Were they lonely?"''
<div align="right">—Bryan J. McCarter</div>
|The most well-documented candidates are six Apollo astronauts who ventured behind the dark side of the Moon. Antarctic explorers and pre-colonialism Polynesian explorers have a shot, but there's no good evidence of specific people who beat the Apollo record. Astronauts Mike Collins and Al Worden said they were not at all lonely, the latter even enjoying his soltitude.
|{{blog|72|2013|11|19}}
|{{book|1|63}}
|
|-
|[[File:Lethal Neutrinos.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|73|Lethal Neutrinos}}'''
|''"How close would you have to be to a supernova to get a lethal dose of neutrino radiation?"''
<div align="right">—(Overheard in a physics department)</div>
|Neutrinos are subatomic particles that barely interact with the universe at all, so it's hard to imagine a scenario where they could harm you, even in a supernova. But at about 2.3 AU, or a little farther than Mars is from the Sun, even the neutrinos would be dense enough to kill you. On the other hand, if you were that close, you were probably inside the star that created the supernova, in which case ''[[#115|Into the Sun]]'' would apply.
|{{blog|73|2013|11|26}}
|{{book|1|39}}
|
|-
|[[File:Soda Planet.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|74|Soda Planet}}'''
|''"How much of the Earth's currently-existing water has ever been turned into a soft drink at some point in its history?"''
<div align="right">—Brian Roelofs</div>
|Humans have likely consumed 6.5 trillion liters or 1.7 trillion gallons of soda ever, based on estimates of population growth and popularity of soda. Assuming humanity has drunk 100 trillion liters (26 trillion gallons) of water, it is reasonable to conclude that only 0.0000005% of Earth's current water reservoir has been turned into a soft drink. However, considering how long water takes to cycle around and certain prehistoric life forms, the water in the average soda was likely once consumed by a dinosaur.
|{{blog|74|2013|12|03}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Phone Keypad.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|75|Phone Keypad}}'''
|''"I use one of those old phones where you type with numbers—for example, to type "Y", you press 9 three times. Some words have consecutive letters on the same number. When they do, you have to pause between letters, making those words annoying to type. What English word has the most consecutive letters on the same key?"''
<div align="right">—Stewart Bishop</div>
|The English word with the most consecutive letters on the same key is "Nonmonogamous". This would require you to type the 6 key (MNO) 16 times without stopping, in order to type 'nonmono'. With every letter included, typing this word would require pressing the 2, 4, 7, and 8 keys once each, and the 6 key a nice, even 20 times.
|{{blog|75|2013|12|10}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Reading Every Book.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|76|Reading Every Book}}'''
|''"At what point in human history were there too many (English) books to be able to read them all in one lifetime?"''
<div align="right">—Gregory Willmot</div>
|About the 1500s, as the population of active English writers reached a few hundred, meaning you would never be able to catch up (using the average word count for a few famous authors as a baseline). You might not want to read them, anyways.
|{{blog|76|2013|12|17}}
|{{book|2|10}}
|
|-
|[[File:Growth Rate.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|77|Growth Rate}}'''
|''"What height would humans reach if we kept growing through our whole development period (i.e. till late teens/early twenties) at the same pace as we do during our first month?"''
<div align="right">—Maria</div>
|We would reach 10 to 12 meters at age 20, though the human body is not scalable to those heights, as our bone structure is too thin, while our hearts wouldn't be able to pump the blood around.
|{{blog|77|2013|12|31|7d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:T-rex Calories.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|78|T-rex Calories}}'''
|''"If a T-rex were released in New York City, how many humans/day would it need to consume to get its needed calorie intake?"''
<div align="right">—Tony Schmitz</div>
|Estimates vary, but the T-rex was estimated to need 40,000 calories per day. Ryan North of Dinosaur Comics tells us that the average 80 kg/175 pound human [http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=QW-PERSON&Category_Code=QW contains 110,000 calories]. Therefore, a T-rex would need to eat someone every 2 days or so.
|{{blog|78|2014|01|07}}
|{{book|2|7|T. Rex Calories}}
|
|-
|[[File:Lake Tea.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|79|Lake Tea}}'''
|''"What if we were to dump all the tea in the world into the Great Lakes? How strong, compared to a regular cup of tea, would the lake tea be?"''
<div align="right">—Alex Burman</div>
|An average cup of tea requires 2 grams of tea per 100 mL of water, and to make proper tea out of the Great Lakes, you would need 450 billion tons of tea for the Great Lakes' 22,600 cubic kilometers/5400 cubic miles of water. A total year's supply of tea is only 4.8 million tons, which would make tea about as strong as 2 drops in a bathtub. To make proper lake tea, you could use Wular Lake in Kashmir or Ullswater in UK's lake district, due to the volume of both being small enough for the tea to work.
|{{blog|79|2014|01|14}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Pile of Viruses.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|80|Pile of Viruses}}'''
|''"What if every virus in the world were collected into one area? How much volume would they take up and what would they look like?"''
<div align="right">—Dave</div>
|''Human'' viruses would fill about ten oil drums. ''All'' viruses would form a wet heap the size of a small mountain, with a texture resembling pus or meat slurry.
|{{blog|80|2014|01|21}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Catch!.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|81|Catch!}}'''
|''"Is there any way to fire a gun so that the bullet flies through the air and can then be safely caught by hand? e.g. shooter is at sea level and catcher is up a mountain at the extreme range of the gun."''
<div align="right">—Ed Hui, London</div>
|Yes, eventually the bullet would come to a maximum height, at which point you could grab the bullet before it fell down. You'd need to grip it firmly, because the bullet would still have its rotational momentum and might jump out of your hand. A larger bullet would require a larger height to catch it at, and even then, it would still be difficult to grab. Of course, this is illegal and can injure you or other people.
|{{blog|81|2014|01|28}}
|{{book|2|12}}
|
|-
|[[File:Hitting a comet.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|82|Hitting a comet}}'''
|''"Astrophysicists are always saying things like "This mission to this comet is equivalent to throwing a baseball from New York and hitting a particular window in San Francisco." Are they really equivalent?"''
<div align="right">—Tom Foster</div>
|The baseball thing is much harder. You'd have to hit it out of the atmosphere, and a baseball is too small to do that. Even if you could, it's still not a fair comparison because astrophysicists are allowed to refine their approach as they close in on the target, which you can't do with a thrown baseball. It turns out that the comet mission requires about the same level of precision as laser eye surgery.
|{{blog|82|2014|02|05|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Star Sand.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|83|Star Sand}}'''
|''"If you made a beach using grains the proportionate size of the stars in the Milky Way, what would that beach look like?"''
<div align="right">—Jeff Wartes</div>
|Although red giants aren't as common as Sun-like stars or red dwarfs, they would form a stretch of gravel that went on for miles due to their large relative volume. 99% of all stars would form a small patch of sand.
|{{blog|83|2014|02|11|1d early}}
|{{book|2|16}}
|
|-
|[[File:Paint the Earth.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|84|Paint the Earth}}'''
|''"Has humanity produced enough paint to cover the entire land area of the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Josh (Bolton, MA)</div>
|There isn't enough paint to go around. The total estimated amount of produced paint, a trillion litres, is only enough to paint as much as the land area of Russia.
|{{blog|84|2014|02|18}}
|{{book|2|14}}
|
|-
|[[File:Rocket Golf.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|85|Rocket Golf}}'''
|''"Assuming that you have a spaceship in orbit around the Earth, could you propel your ship to speeds exceeding escape velocity by hitting golf balls in the other direction? If so, how many golf balls would be required to reach the Moon?"''
<div align="right">—Dan (Kanata, Ontario)</div>
|You ''could'' propel your ship using golf balls, but, assuming they are being fired at 226 mph (363 km/h), the fastest world record, the amount of golf balls needed for this would be around the size of Earth and wouldn't even get you to the Moon. You'd need a potato cannon fueled by acetylene firing golf balls at 310 mph (500 km/h) which reduces the size of the golf mass to 150 miles (240 kilometers). This would be incredibly costly and firing them faster would essentially be the same as building a normal rocket.
|{{blog|85|2014|02|25}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Far-Traveling Objects.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|86|Far-Traveling Objects}}'''
|''"In terms of human-made objects, has Voyager 1 travelled the farthest distance? It's certainly the farthest from Earth we know about. But what about the edge of ultracentrifuges, or generator turbines that have been running for years, for example?"''
<div align="right">—Matt Russell</div>
|There are a few different frames of reference you can look at, but in normal terms Mariner 10 has traveled much farther than Voyager 1. It's travelled a couple of light-days around the Sun, while the Voyager probes have only travelled a dozen light-hours.
|{{blog|86|2014|03|04}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Enforced by Radar.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|87|Enforced by Radar}}'''
|''"I've occasionally seen "radar enforced" on speed limit signs, and I can't help but ask: How intense would radio waves have to be to stop a car from going over the speed limit, and what would happen if this were attempted?"''
<div align="right">—Joausc</div>
|Radio waves are generally ''very weak''. You'd need the collective energy of trillions of cell phones just to levitate a snow flake. To stop a car, you'd need at least 2 trillion joules of radiation, which would vaporize the car and everything else around it.
|{{blog|87|2014|03|11}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Soda Sequestration.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|88|Soda Sequestration}}'''
|''"How much CO2 is contained in the world's stock of bottled fizzy drinks? How much soda would be needed to bring atmospheric CO2 back to preindustrial levels?"''
<div align="right">—Brandon Seah</div>
|There are currently 400 parts of carbon dioxide per million. To bring it down to pre-Industrial levels, you'd need 450 quadrillion cans of soda, each being able to hold 2.2 grams of CO2. This would cover Earth's land 10 times over.
|{{blog|88|2014|03|18}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Tungsten Countertop.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|89|Tungsten Countertop}}'''
|''"How far would a tungsten countertop descend if I dropped it into the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Leuchtenburg</div>
|Tungsten has the highest melting point of any element, but even tungsten would melt before it got too far. If you protected it with a heat shield, it would get destroyed all the same by the battering of the particles in the Sun's atmosphere. It could possibly penetrate the surface if it was larger, but as it stands, it wouldn't get past the outer layers.
|{{blog|89|2014|03|25}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Great Tree, Great Axe.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|90|Great Tree, Great Axe}}'''
|''"If all the seas were one sea,''
''What a great sea that would be!''
''If all the trees were one tree,''
''What a great tree that would be!''
''If all the men were one man,''
''What a great man that would be!''
''If all the axes were one axe,''
''What a great axe that would be!''
''And if the great man took the great axe,''
''And cut down the great tree,''
''And let if fall into the great sea,''
''What a great splish-splash that would be!''

''... How great would all of these things be?"''
<div align="right">—John Eifert (quoting a ''Mother Goose'' rhyme)</div>
|The seas would be a little bigger than the Pacific Ocean. Trees can't grow taller than about 130 meters naturally, and would physically crush itself if above a few kilometers tall. Ignoring these restraints, the tree would be about 75 km tall with trunk diameter of 2 km. Ignoring human size restraints, the person would be close to 3 km tall. The axe would be about 500 meters long and relatively the size of a flimsy hatchet. It may take a few weeks to chop down the tree and the impact would create a tsunami that probably wouldn't wipe out the human race, but would be likely the deadliest single disaster in our history.
|{{blog|90|2014|04|03|2d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Faucet Power.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|91|Faucet Power}}'''
|''"I just moved into a new apartment. It includes hot water but I have to pay the electric bill. So being a person on a budget ... what's the best way to use my free faucet to generate electricity?"''
<div align="right">—David Axel Kurtz</div>
|A small hydroelectric dam in the bathtub would yield about $0.25 per month of electricity, but the best option would probably be to bottle and sell your tap water, yielding about $38 million per year at $1.50 per bottle.
|{{blog|91|2014|04|08|2d early}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:One-Second Day.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|92|One-Second Day}}'''
|''"What would happen if the Earth's rotation were sped up until a day only lasted one second?"''
<div align="right">—Dylan</div>
|Everything on Earth would die, but if it happened when the Moon crosses the plane of the Earth, then everything in the Solar System will die (whether there is a difference is debatable).
|{{blog|92|2014|04|15}}
|{{book|2|21}}
|
|-
|[[File:Windshield Raindrops.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|93|Windshield Raindrops}}'''
|''"At what speed would you have to drive for rain to shatter your windshield?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Butler</div>
|Water droplets in air are normally lighter than the air, so this wouldn't happen under normal circumstances. However, at supersonic speeds, the water droplet would impact the windshield at Mach 18. It wouldn't shatter the windshield, but it would slowly batter it away.
|{{blog|93|2014|04|22}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Billion-Story Building.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|94|Billion-Story Building}}'''
|''"My daughter — age 4.5 — maintains she wants a billion-story building. It turns out not only is that hard to help her appreciate this size, I am not at all able to explain all of the other difficulties you'd have to overcome."''
<div align="right">—Keira, via Steve Brodovicz, Media, PA </div>
|The tower would be far too big to support itself under its own weight. The tower would also extend past the Moon. The sheer amount of elevators needed would provide little to no room for actual usable space. Additionally, space junk would be a large problem, as there is a high probability that space junk would collide with the tower.
|{{blog|94|2014|04|29}}
|{{book|2|22}}
|{{book|21|2025|02|11|Z_xJ40QXu7Q|What if you built a billion-story building?}}
|-
|[[File:Pyramid Energy.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|95|Pyramid Energy}}'''
|''"What took more energy, the building of the Great Pyramid of Giza or the Apollo Mission? If we could convert the energy to build the Great Pyramid, would it be enough to send a rocket to the Moon and back?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Marmol</div>
|The Apollo Program took about the same manpower as the building of the Great Pyramids, but physics wise, the Great Pyramid only contains 10<sup>12</sup> joules of gravitational potential energy. A single Saturn V rocket's fuel has 20 times more energy.
|{{blog|95|2014|05|06}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:$2 Undecillion Lawsuit.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|96|$2 Undecillion Lawsuit}}'''
|''"What if Au Bon Pain lost '''[http://www.loweringthebar.net/2014/05/2-undecillion-dollar-demand.html this lawsuit]''' and had to pay the plaintiff $2 undecillion?"''
<div align="right">—Kevin Underhill</div>
|The debt would be incredibly great, to the point that everything ever created by man does not have enough value to pay it off. For comparison, former soliciter general Ted Olson leaked that he charges $1600 per hour for his services. Even if every habitable planet in the Milky Way had a population of 8 billion Ted Olsons, and you hired all of them for a thousand generations, the cost would still be lower than if you lost.
|{{blog|96|2014|05|14|1d late}}
|{{book|2|23}}
|
|-
|[[File:Burning Pollen.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|97|Burning Pollen}}'''
|''"What if you were to somehow ignite the pollen that floats around in the air in spring? Other than being a really bad idea, what effect would it have?"''
<div align="right">—Jessica Thornburg</div>
|It would just warm up the air by a very tiny bit, but only because it's so thinly spread. Gathering all of it from a large enough region into one pile could equal a nuclear weapon.
|{{blog|97|2014|05|20|1d early}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Blood Alcohol.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|98|Blood Alcohol}}'''
|''"Could you get drunk from drinking a drunk person's blood?"''
<div align="right">—Fiona Byrne</div>
|No, you can't. Alcohol in a drunk person's blood would be very diluted and by the time you drank the 14 glasses needed to get drunk, you would've vomited on the account of drinking blood. That aside, you could also get iron overload as well as various blood-borne diseases.
|{{blog|98|2014|05|27}}
|{{book|2|42}}
|
|-
|[[File:Starlings.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|99|Starlings}}'''
|''"I was watching '''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eakKfY5aHmY this video]''' and was wondering: How many birds there would need to be for gravity to take over and force them into a gargantuan ball of birds?"''
<div align="right">—Justin Basinger</div>
|Each bird is 85 grams, with a density of around 43 grams per square meter. Because of this, the air would be 25 times stronger than the starlings and the substance governing the collapse. The air would have to be bigger than the Earth to collapse the starlings and the starlings themselves would need to be bigger than the Solar System. They would then promptly turn into a star.
|{{blog|99|2014|06|03}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:WWII Films.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|100|WWII Films}}'''
|''"Did WWII last longer than the total length of movies about WWII? For that matter, which war has the highest movie time:war time ratio?"''
<div align="right">—Becky</div>
|Assuming the average run time of a WWII film was 95 minutes, the combined length was 300 days, meaning World War II was longer than the movies 7 times over. The two most likely candidates for highest movie:war ratio are the Indo-Pakistani war, which lasted 13 days and has 5 catalogued films about it, and the Anglo-Zanzibar war, which only lasted 38 minutes but lacked any films.
|{{blog|100|2014|06|11|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Plastic Dinosaurs.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|101|Plastic Dinosaurs}}'''
|''"As plastic is made from oil and oil is made from dead dinosaurs, how much actual real dinosaur is there in a plastic dinosaur?"''
<div align="right">—Steve Lydford</div>
|Contrary to the name, oil is not made of dead dinosaurs, mostly being composed of marine plankton and algae. Geology is complicated, but the gist is that only a small fraction of a plastic dinosaur toy could've come from dinosaur oil, and depending on the location, it may contain none at all.
|{{blog|101|2014|06|18}}
|{{book|2|26}}
|
|-
|[[File:Keyboard Power.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|102|Keyboard Power}}'''
|''"As a writer, I'm wondering what would be the cumulative energy of the hundreds of thousands of keystrokes required to write a novel."''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Dickner</div>
|Writing one full novel would provide enough energy to run a laptop for 15 seconds. If each novel takes you six months, this would save a fraction of a penny of electricity. To keep a laptop, you'd need to write a novel every ten seconds, and to run a microwave would require one novel per second.
|{{blog|102|2014|06|25}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Vanishing Water.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|103|Vanishing Water}}'''
|''"What would happen if all the bodies of water on Earth magically disappeared?"''
<div align="right">—Joanna Xu</div>
|If all water vanished, the first to notice would be anybody currently in the ocean, and over the course of a minute, they would all fall, some of them dying but some surviving with minor injuries. After this, all marine life will have perished. Humans follow soon after as the water cycle would've stopped, collapsing global infrustructure and killing every plant and person by dehydration. The end of the water cycle also leads to a runaway greenhouse effect later on.
|{{blog|103|2014|07|02}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Global Snow.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|104|Global Snow}}'''
|''"From my seven-year-old son: How many snowflakes would it take to cover the entire world in six feet of snow? (I don't know why six feet...but that's what he asked.)"''
<div align="right">—Jed Scott</div>
|Snow isn't very dense, and 1 inch of rain would lead to a foot or more of snow. Factoring in snow compressing throughout the day, you would need a mole of snowflakes to cover the Earth in 6 feet in snow.
|{{blog|104|2014|07|09}}
|{{book|2|59}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cannibalism.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|105|Cannibalism}}'''
|''"How long could the human race survive on only cannibalism?"''
<div align="right">—Quinn Shaffer</div>
|If half of the world eats the other half, then it would take about 32 months before it came down to 2 people. However, this is also a very efficient way to get a {{w|Transmissible spongiform encephalopathy|prion disease}}.
|{{blog|105|2014|07|16}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Ink Molecules.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|106|Ink Molecules}}'''
|''"Suppose you were to print, in 12 point text, the numeral 1 using a common cheap ink-jet printer. How many molecules of the ink would be used? At what numerical value would the number printed approximately equal the number of ink molecules used?"''
<div align="right">—David Pelkey</div>
|You'd use about 100,000,000,000,000,000 molecules.
|{{blog|106|2014|07|23}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Letter to Mom.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|107|Letter to Mom}}'''
|''"What’s the fastest way to get a hand-written letter from my place in Chicago to my mother in New Jersey?"''
<div align="right">—Tim</div>
|An ICBM would take 12-15 minutes to cross the distance. While that is the best method, a few other methods come close. The Concorde would only take 30 minutes, while firing something with a rail gun down a vacuum tube would take only 10-20 minutes.
|{{blog|107|2014|07|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Expensive Shoebox.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|108|Expensive Shoebox}}'''
|''"What would be the most expensive way to fill a size 11 shoebox (e.g. with 64 GB MicroSD cards all full of legally purchased music)?"''
<div align="right">—Rick Lewis</div>
|There are many options (precious materials, hard drugs, physical file storage, etc.), but they all cap out at ~$2,000,000,000. That amount of platinum would be worth $13 million, while diamonds, Adcetris and LSD would be valued around 1-2 billion,
|{{blog|108|2014|08|13|7d late}}
|{{book|2|31}}
|
|-
|[[File:Into the Blue.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|109|Into the Blue}}'''
|''"If I shot an infinitely strong laser beam into the sky at a random point, how much damage would it do?"''
<div align="right">—Garrett D.</div>
|Infinitely powerful laser beams do not exist, and if they did, they would vaporize the air and destroy everything like in the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|13|Laser Pointer}}''. That being said, if it were truly random, it would be aimed at Earth 50% of the time. If you miss the Earth, 89,999 times out of 90,000, your beam will pass right out of the galaxy without hitting anything. When it does hit something, it will almost always be the Sun or the Moon.
|{{blog|109|2014|08|20}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Walking New York.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|110|Walking New York}}'''
|''"Could a person walk the entire city of NY in their lifetime? (including inside apartments)"''
<div align="right">—Asif Shamir</div>
|Based on estimates of US Postal Service carriers and their travel times, we know that walking every street in NYC would probably take 14 years. Assuming it takes about 25 seconds to enter an apartment building, leave, and go to the next one, it would only take an additional 10 years to visit every apartment. However, under [http://ypdcrime.com/penal.law/article140.htm New York Penal Code], the punishment would take 2 million years or 2,000 millenia to finish.
|{{blog|110|2014|08|27}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:All the Money.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|111|All the Money}}'''
|''"People sometimes say "If I had all the money in the world ..." in order to discuss what they would do if they had no financial constraints. I'm curious, though, what would happen if one person had all of the world's money?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Pino</div>
|Currency only makes up a fraction of Earth's money, and it's unlikely people would agree to your sudden claims of ownership over all of the land, nor would they let you spend the actual currency you have. Said currency would quickly crush you, as most of its weight is in coinage. You could build a structure to contain the coins, but this would violate NYC building codes.
|{{blog|111|2014|09|02|1d early}}
|
|{{book|25|2025|05|06|saj7b5C6TCM|What if you literally had all the money in the world?}}
|-
|[[File:Balloon Car.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|112|Balloon Car}}'''
|''"My 12-year-old daughter is proposing an interesting project. She is planning to attach a number of helium balloons to a chair, which in turn would be tethered by means of a rope to a Ferrari. Her 13-year-old friend would then drive the Ferrari around, while she sits in the chair enjoying uninterrupted views of the countryside. Leaving aside the legal and insurance difficulties, my daughter is keen to know the maximum speed that she could expect to attain, and how many helium balloons would be required."''
<div align="right">—Phil Rodgers, Cambridge, UK</div>
|A balloon just big enough to lift you would be pushed down by the wind, and a balloon big enough to counteract that would lift up the car along with you. The way to achieve this result is [https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=parasailing parasailing].
|{{blog|112|2014|09|17|8d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Visit Every State.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|113|Visit Every State}}'''
|''"How fast could you visit all 50 states?"''
<div align="right">—as discussed by Stephen Von Worley <span class="plainlinks">on [http://www.datapointed.net/2012/08/fastest-route-to-visit-all-fifty-united-states/ '''''Data Pointed''''']</span>
|It would take you 160 hours by car, 39 hours by landing a private jet in each state, and 18 hours by F-22 fighter jet and helicopter landing in each state. However, if you relax the requirement to land in each state and simply count entering the state's airspace as "visiting" it, you can do it in around 7 hours with an SR-71 Blackbird. If we allow satellite orbits, you can do it in just over 6 hours with five orbits, assuming your satellite makes a course correction on each orbit.
|{{blog|113|2014|09|24}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Antimatter.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|114|Antimatter}}'''
|''"What if everything was antimatter, EXCEPT Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Sean Gallagher</div>
|It would wipe out all life on Earth, but surprisingly slower than you might expect. The annihilation of antimatter entering the atmosphere would add enough extra heat to create a runaway greenhouse effect and make Earth similar to Venus. We would be in much more danger from meteorites, with dinosaur-killer equivalents hitting the upper atmosphere every few months.
|{{blog|114|2014|10|01}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Into the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|115|Into the Sun}}'''
|''"When I was about 8 years old, shoveling snow on a freezing day in Colorado, I wished that I could be instantly transported to the surface of the Sun, just for a nanosecond, then instantly transported back. I figured this would be long enough to warm me up but not long enough to harm me. What would actually happen?"''
<div align="right">—AJ, Kansas City</div>
|You would not be warmed if you went to the surface, as the energy received by your skin would be minimal. You would maybe see a bright flash of light. The core, on the other hand, would vaporize you, as the energy delivered there would be able to give you a second-degree burn after 1 femtosecond (1 millionth of a nanosecond) in the core.
|{{blog|115|2014|10|08}}
|{{book|2|61}}
|{{book|15|2024|09|03|UXA-Af-JeCE|Could you survive a nanosecond on the Sun?}}
|-
| rowspan="3" |[[File:No-Rules NASCAR.png|100px]]
| rowspan="3" |'''{{What If|116|No-Rules NASCAR}}'''
| rowspan="3" |''"If you stripped away all the rules of car racing and had a contest which was simply to get a human being around a track 200 times as fast as possible, what strategy would win? Let's say the racer has to survive."''
<div align="right">—Hunter Freyer</div>
| rowspan="3" |If the rider has to survive, 90 minutes is the limit based on human G-force tolerances. If survival is not a priority, you'd build a particle accelerator.
| rowspan="3" {{blog|116|2014|10|15}}
| rowspan="3" {{book|2|35}}
|{{book|3|2023|12|19|JcXpCyPc2Xw|What if NASCAR had no rules?}}
|-
|{{book|8|short-video=yes|2025|08|26|eSPcp-tfGbA|How fast could a human accellerate (while staying alive)?}}
|-
|{{book|9|short-video=yes|2025|09|02|rgUfcFAPicY|How fast could a vehicle go around a track - but the racer does not have to survive.}}
|-
|[[File:Distant Death.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|117|Distant Death}}'''
|''"What is the farthest from Earth that any Earth thing has died?"''
<div align="right">—Amy from NZ</div>
|The farthest that any human has died is about 167 kilometers. In terms of any living thing, however, bacterial spores on Voyager 1 are dying every few months, setting a new record each time.
|{{blog|117|2014|10|23|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Physical Salary.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|118|Physical Salary}}'''
|''"What if people's incomes appeared around them as cash in real time? How much would you need to make to be in real trouble?"''
<div align="right">—Julia Anderson, Albuquerque, NM</div>
|At minimum US wage, a worker would earn about one water bottle of mixed coins per day. A CEO would earn about 600 such bottles per day, and the coins would accumulate on the floor at a rate of about 0.5 inches per day. Mark Zuckerberg would earn 25 such bottles ''per second'', and the coins would bury him if he sat still for an hour.
|{{blog|118|2014|10|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Laser Umbrella.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|119|Laser Umbrella}}'''
|''"Stopping rain from falling on something with an umbrella or a tent is boring. What if you tried to stop rain with a laser that targeted and vaporized each incoming droplet before it could come within ten feet of the ground?"''
<div align="right">—Zach Wheeler</div>
|It's doable in theory, but the energy required to completely vaporize a raindrop (rather than merely splattering it) is high enough that your surroundings would get dangerously hot. Targeting the droplets might be possible with adaptive optics, but it would require a complicated device. You could try firing rapidly in random directions instead, but your high-powered laser might go several hundred meters without hitting a raindrop, which would endanger your local neighborhood.
|{{blog|119|2014|11|13|7d late}}
|{{book|2|37}}
|{{book|6|2024|02|20|zgBTwtg7H8E|Could you make an umbrella out of lasers?}}
|-
|[[File:Alternate Universe What Ifs.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|120|Alternate Universe What Ifs}}'''
|''"Dispatches from a horrifying alternate universe"''
|Excerpts from ''what if?'' articles written in a world which, thankfully, is not the one we live in.
|{{blog|120|2014|11|20}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Frozen Rivers.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|121|Frozen Rivers}}'''
|''"What would happen if all of the rivers in the US were instantly frozen in the middle of the summer?"''
<div align="right">—Zoe Cutler</div>
|Anywhere with rain or snowmelt would be horrifically flooded, and ice would break, then dam up rivers, forming huge lakes. Humanity would be worse for the wear, but all in all fine. Places where electricity is gotten using a hydroelectric dam may be out of power for a bit, but the flow of water would return in time.
|{{blog|121|2014|12|11}} 14d late)
|
|
|-
|[[File:Lava Lamp.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|122|Lava Lamp}}'''
|''"What if I made a lava lamp out of real lava? What could I use as a clear medium? How close could I stand to watch it?"''
<div align="right">—Kathy Johnstone, 6th Grade Teacher (via a student)</div>
|You would need to use a metal or gemstone with a very high heat tolerance. You could possibly use sapphire or some sort of transparent or translucent tungsten, but the clear medium would eventually fog up and prevent you from seeing the lava. The lava would solidify after approximately a minute without some way to continuously heat it.
|{{blog|122|2014|12|18}}
|{{book|2|40}}
|
|-
|[[File:Fairy Demographics.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|123|Fairy Demographics}}'''
|''"How many fairies would fly around, if each fairy is born from the first laugh of a child and fairies were immortal?"''
<div align="right">—Mira Kühn, Germany</div>
|If fairies appeared with the first laugh of a ''homo sapiens'', there would be around 100 billion fairies, and they, depending on their size, would probably be considered no more than a common pest. Because of their high population, however, they would probably be considered a major part of the ecosystems where they resided.
|{{blog|123|2015|01|01|7d late}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |[[File:Lunar Swimming.png|100px]]
| rowspan="2" |'''{{What If|124|Lunar Swimming}}'''
| rowspan="2" |''"What if there was a lake on the Moon? What would it be like to swim in it? Presuming that it is sheltered in a regular atmosphere, in some giant dome or something."''
<div align="right">—Kim Holder</div>
| rowspan="2" |It would be super-cool, given that lower gravity would increase the size of splashes and the height of jumps.
| rowspan="2" {{blog|124|2015|01|08}}
| rowspan="2" |
|{{book|20|2024|12|24|aIIBBj6KR-Y|What if we put a pool on the moon?}}
|-
|{{book|7|short-video=yes|2025|08|12|mtTbwHzhUiM|Petition to send a swimming pool to the moon!}}
|-
|[[File:Bowling Ball 2.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|125|Bowling Ball}}'''
|''"You are in a boat directly over the Mariana Trench. If you drop a 7kg bowling ball over the side, how long would it take to hit the bottom?"''
<div align="right">—Doug Carter</div>
|It would take two hours and 20 minutes.
|{{blog|125|2015|01|15}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Stairs (What If?).png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|126|Stairs}}'''
|''"If you made an elevator that would go to space (like the one you mentioned in the '''{{what if|94|billion-story building}}''') and built a staircase up (assuming regulated air pressure) about how long would it take to climb to the top?"''
<div align="right">—Ethan Annas</div>
|It would take about half a day by motorcycle, or a week or two for a professional stair-climber. If going on foot, you'd also need to carry a huge backpack stuffed with nothing but sticks of butter in order to get your daily caloric intake (including the energy expended from climbing the stairs).
|{{blog|126|2015|01|22}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Tug of War.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|127|Tug of War}}'''
|''"Would it be possible for two teams in a tug-o-war to overcome the ultimate tensile strength of an iron rod and pull it apart? How big would the teams have to be?"''
<div align="right">—Markus Andersen</div>
|Two teams of 25 people each would be able to rip a half-inch iron bar apart: tug-o-war is a very dangerous game, as there's so much force being exerted on the rope. The theoretical upper limit of a game is 100,000 players each, pulling a 200-mile–long rope made of graphite ribbons.
|{{blog|127|2015|01|28|1d early}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Zippo Phone.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|128|Zippo Phone}}'''
|''"What in my pocket actually contains more energy, my Zippo or my smartphone? What would be the best way of getting the energy from one to the other? And since I am already feeling like Bilbo in this one, is there anything else in my pocket that would have unexpected amounts of stored energy?"''
<div align="right">—Ian Cummings</div>
|The Zippo has more energy than your phone battery, but your hand would have even more, when burned as fuel.
|{{blog|128|2015|02|05|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Black Hole Moon.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|129|Black Hole Moon}}'''
|''"What would happen if the Moon were replaced with an equivalently-massed black hole? If it's possible, what would a lunar ("holar"?) eclipse look like?"''
<div align="right">—Matt</div>
|Not much would change. A black hole of the Moon's mass would be the size of a sand grain, but gravitational effects would still be more or less the same here on Earth. There would be no moonlight, which would make the Earth a bit colder and mess with some nocturnal animals. You wouldn't see any lunar eclipses due to the tiny size of the Moon. It would only cause significant problems if humans were on the moon at the time.
|{{blog|129|2015|02|12}}
|
|{{book|28|2025|07|08|UQgw50GQu1A|What if the moon turned into a black hole?}}
|-
|[[File:Snow Removal.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|130|Snow Removal}}'''
|''"I've long thought about putting a flamethrower on the front of a car to melt snow and ice before you drive across it. Now I've realized that a flamethrower is impractical, but what about a high-powered microwave emitter?"''
<div align="right">—Matt Van Opens</div>
|The flamethrower is more practical because microwaves don't heat ice very well. The microwave beam would require the power output of three aircraft carriers, and the flamethrower would have a gas mileage of 17 feet per gallon. If you were to drive on the highway for an hour using this method, it would burn 18,635 gallons of gasoline, worth $40,000 to $50,000.
|{{blog|130|2015|02|19}}
|
|{{book|26|2025|05|27|WYf9-xfm6t8|What if you used a flamethrower as a snowblower?}}
|-
|[[File:Microwaves.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|131|Microwaves}}'''
|''"I have had a particular problem for as long as I can remember. Any time I attempt to heat left over Chinese food in a microwave, it fails to heat completely through somewhere. Usually the center but not always and usually rice, but often it will be a small section of meat. It's baffling and has made me automatically adjust heating times to over 2 minutes. In most cases this tends to heat the bowl or plate more than the food. So I suppose the question is what is the optimal time to heat left over Chinese food in the microwave, how about an 800 watt microwave?"''
<div align="right">—James</div>
|The first cause of this issue is that the wave pattern of microwaves create 'dead spots' where the food isn't heated. Secondly, melted ice causes some parts to cook while the rest is still defrosting. Use a lower power level, stir your food partway through microwaving, and let it sit for a few minutes before you eat it. This allows the heat to spread evenly.
|{{blog|131|2015|02|27|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Hotter than Average.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|132|Hotter than Average}}'''
|''"I saw a sign at a hot springs tub saying "Caution: Water is hotter than average" with water at about 39°C. Although they were presumably trying to say "hotter than the average swimming pool," this got me wondering: What is the average temperature of all water on the Earth’s surface, and how does that temperature compare to 39°C?"''
<div align="right">—Graham Ward</div>
|The water average is the year-round average air temperature. By saying the water is "hotter than average", they're implying the water in the pool is not tied to it. Give the signmakers some credit.
|{{blog|132|2015|03|07|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Flagpole.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|133|Flagpole}}'''
|''"So, you're falling from a height above the tallest building in your town, and you don't have a parachute. But wait! Partway down the side of that skyscraper there's a flagpole sticking out, sans flag! You angle your descent and grab the pole just long enough to swing around so that when you let go you're now heading back up toward the sky. As gravity slows you and brings you to a halt, you reach the top of the skyscraper, where you reach out and pull yourself to safety. What's the likelihood this could happen?"''
<div align="right">—Rex Ungericht</div>
|It would be impossible, even a gymnast's arms would be ripped off from the force.
|{{blog|133|2015|03|17|3d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Space Burial.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|134|Space Burial}}'''
|''"I've often joked I'd like to have my remains put into orbit. Not in a "scatter my ashes" sense, but, like, "throw my naked corpse out the airlock" sense. Honestly, my main motivation is to baffle someone in the distant future, but it's an interesting scientific question: what would happen to my body in orbit over the course of years, decades or centuries?"''
<div align="right">—Tim in Fremont</div>
|Even before you were launched, your body would dry out very quickly. In low orbit, your body would fall to Earth and be burned from atmospheric re-entry. In a higher orbit, it would be destroyed from space debris. In high orbit, you could last for a few centuries. If your body was ever found it would mean there are a lot of people travelling around: making bodies pretty common.
|{{blog|134|2015|03|28|4d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Digging Downward.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|135|Digging Downward}}'''
|''"What would happen if I dug straight down, at a speed of 1 foot per second? What would kill me first?"''
<div align="right">—Jack Kaunis</div>
|To remove all that soil, the energy required would heat up the surrounding beyond fatal levels pretty quickly. Immune to the heat, you could survive for one to two hours, as oxygen becomes toxic at depths higher than 5 kilometers.
|{{blog|135|2015|04|05|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Spiders vs. the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|136|Spiders vs. the Sun}}'''
|''"Which has a greater gravitational pull on me: the Sun, or spiders? Granted, the Sun is much bigger, but it is also much further away, and as I learned in high school physics, the gravitational force is proportional to the square of the distance."''
<div align="right">—Marina Fleming</div>
|The Sun, by 13 orders of magnitude (the Sun is very big). But spiders are a lot more scary.
|{{blog|136|2015|04|12}}
|{{book|2|44}}
|
|-
|[[File:New Horizons.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|137|New Horizons}}'''
|''"What if New Horizons hits my car?"''
<div align="right">—Robin Sheat</div>
| ''Note: This question was created before ''New Horizons'' passed by Pluto.'' This is extremely unlikely. The ''New Horizons'' probe is quite large, but is considered small for a spacecraft. If it crashed into your car, there would be serious consequences. However, if it did, NASA would be on the hook to replace your car, along with most of your neighbourhood, and clean up the radioactive mess.
|{{blog|137|2015|07|14|2m 25d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Jupiter Submarine.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|138|Jupiter Submarine}}'''
|''"What if you released a submarine into Jupiter's atmosphere? Would it eventually reach a point where it would float? Could it navigate?"''
<div align="right">—KTH</div>
|No. Before it got to the point where it could float, the submarine would be crushed by the high pressure and melted by the high temperature. This is because gasses behave differently to fluids: the point where things can float is at a much higher pressure.
|{{blog|138|2015|07|28|7d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Jupiter Descending.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|139|Jupiter Descending}}'''
|''"If you did '''{{what if|138|fall into Jupiter's atmosphere in a submarine}}''', what would it actually look like? What would you see before you melted or burned up?"''
<div align="right">—Ada Munroe</div>
|There's not a whole lot to go on here; we have some data and educated guesses about what's going inside these gas giants, but we haven't sent any probes equipped with operational cameras into a gas giant so we don't really know. A book by Michael Carroll suggests that there is a layer between the upper ammonia haze and lower ammonium hydrosulfide clouds, that could provide some good views, and if so, the view would be similar to Earth's atmosphere in that clouds and fellow submarines would fade into blue.
|{{blog|139|2015|08|04}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Proton Earth, Electron Moon.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|140|Proton Earth, Electron Moon}}'''
|''"What if the Earth were made entirely of protons, and the Moon were made entirely of electrons?"''
<div align="right">—Noah Williams</div>
|There would be so much energy packed into one space that it would create a black hole as massive as the observable universe that would expand outwards at the speed of light. Because of the charge from the electrons, it would be a {{w|naked singularity}}, a black hole with infinite mass that allows light to escape.
|{{blog|140|2015|09|18|1m 7d late}}
|{{book|2|48}}
|{{book|30|2025|9|9|DiWFXv9N0Vs|What if the Moon were made entirely of electrons?}}
|-
|[[File:Sunbeam.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|141|Sunbeam}}'''
|''"What if all of the sun's output of visible light were bundled up into a laser-like beam that had a diameter of around 1m once it reaches Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Max Schäfer</div>
|According to Randall, parts of the atmosphere would be heated to millions of degrees, and the bubble of destruction would wrap around the Earth before it even reached the other side. The light reflected off the Moon would be hot enough to burn you to death. If the beam couldn't track the Earth, part of it would survive as the Earth orbited out of the way. If the beam reached another planetary system, it could heat up the surface of some distant exoplanets. However, this conclusion depends on the precise nature of the "bundling up". If this "bundling" is accomplished via passive optics such as lenses and mirrors, then the temperature (and geometry) of the incoming beam will be restricted according to all the optics principles described in "Fire from Moonlight", and under no circumstances would any part of Earth's atmosphere or surface exceed 5000 K, due to the laws of thermodynamics. If, however, the "bundling" consists of an "active" procedure of generating electricity via PV panels, and then powering actual laser emitters with it (not just "laser-like") - which doesn't sound like Max's conception - then yes, the narrow beam of essentially "infinite" temperature and consequent destruction that Randall describes could indeed occur.
|{{blog|141|2016|01|12|3m 18d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Space Jetta.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|142|Space Jetta}}'''
|''"What if I tried to re-enter the atmosphere in my car? (a 2000 VW Jetta TDI). Would it do more environmental damage than it is already apparently doing?"''
<div align="right">—Casey Berg</div>
|The effect of the car's re-entry itself on the environment is going to be small, verging on negligible. The effect of ceasing its usage to burn hydrocarbon fuel for the remainder of the car's life is likely significantly greater than the re-entry, but in practice also negligible. The main non-negligible environmental effect might be from the launch mechanism that was used to get into orbit in the first place, although even this effect, at current rocket launch rates, is still tiny compared to global air travel or ground-based automobile usage.
|{{blog|142|2016|01|20|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Europa Water Siphon.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|143|Europa Water Siphon}}'''
|''"What if you built a siphon from the oceans on Europa to Earth? Would it flow once it's set up? (We have an idea for selling bottled Europa water.)"''
<div align="right">—A group of Google Search SREs</div>
|No, at least not with a siphon. Siphons can only pull water upward to a height where the air pressure feeding water into one side of the siphon equals the weight of the water falling out the other side (creating negative pressure, trying to form a vacuum, which nature abhors). This effect requires a gravitational field and an atmosphere, but cannot be used to pump water above the local atmosphere, and hence out of the local gravity well, under any circumstances - including on Europa.
|{{blog|143|2016|01|26|1d early}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Saliva Pool.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|144|Saliva Pool}}'''
|''"How long would it take for a single person to fill up an entire swimming pool with their own saliva?"''
<div align="right">—Mary Griffin, 9th grade</div>
|For an Olympic pool, it would take you 8,345 years. In order to finish by the present day, you'd need to start during the invention of agriculture.
|{{blog|144|2016|02|02}}
|{{book|2|53}}
|
|-
|[[File:Fire From Moonlight.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|145|Fire From Moonlight}}'''
|''"Can you use a magnifying glass and moonlight to light a fire?"''
<div align="right">—Rogier Spoor</div>
|Unfortunately, it is not possible to summarize Randall's article succinctly, because most of his explanation is completely irrelevant to the question. Randall's answer is effectively "No, and here are a set of correct principles of optics that do not support my claim." The correct answer is "Yes, just like it is possible to start a fire with sunlight reflected off anything else, because the temperature/wavelength/energy of light does not change (substantially) when it is reflected, and the temperature of visible sunlight is around 5000 to 6000 K." (The obvious assumption about the intent behind Rogier's question is that "moonlight" refers to the reflected sunlight, and not the Moon's own surface emission of longwave infrared radiation with a temperature of 300 - 400 K, which we can't see - but this should really be clarified by Rogier.)
|{{blog|145|2016|02|09}}
|{{book|2|51}}
|
|-
|[[File:Stop Jupiter.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|146|Stop Jupiter}}'''
|''"I understand that the ''New Horizons'' craft used gravity assist from Jupiter to increase its speed on the way to Pluto. I also understand that by doing this, Jupiter slowed down very slightly. How many flyby runs would it take to stop Jupiter completely?"''
<div align="right">—Dillon</div>
|Even if we were to throw Earth at Jupiter, this could never happen, because Jupiter is much more massive than Earth. Gravity assists are like bouncing a tennis ball off a train, and to stop the train, you'd need an awfully large tennis ball. 
|{{blog|146|2016|02|16}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Niagara Straw.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|147|Niagara Straw}}'''
|''"What would happen if one tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a straw?"''
<div align="right">—David Gwizdala</div>
|In order to funnel Niagara Falls through a straw, you'd need to accelerate the water to one-quarter light speed, and no machine exists that's capable of doing that. If you somehow could do it, the resulting waterjet would have the power output of a small star, and would boil away the oceans and wipe out all life on Earth.
|{{blog|147|2016|02|26}} 3d late)
|{{book|2|55}}
|{{book|27|2025|06|17|pfbzrrcQZjs|What if you funneled Niagara Falls through a straw?}}
|-
|[[File:Eat the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|148|Eat the Sun}}'''
|''"What percentage of the Sun's heat (per day) does the population of Earth eat in calories per year? What changes could be made to our diets for the amount of calories to equal the energy of the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—James Mitchell</div>
|0.000000000065%. This is such a ridiculously small portion of the Sun's heat exhaust, that we cannot increase our personal calory intake enough to compensate. Instead we need to add more persons. A lot of them in fact. So many that we need to spread them - and the food that they eat - out throughout not just our galaxy but multiple galaxies. Otherwise, the food alone would be massive enough to turn into a black hole.
|{{blog|148|2016|03|12|8d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Pizza Bird.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|149|Pizza Bird}}'''
|''"My boyfriend recently took a flight on a plane with wifi, and while he was up there, wistfully asked if I could send him a pizza. I jokingly sent him a photo of a parrot holding a pizza slice in its beak. Obviously, my boyfriend had to go without pizza until he landed at JFK. But this raised the question: could a bird deliver a standard 20" New York-style cheese pizza in a box? And if so, what kind of bird would it take?"''
<div align="right">—Tina Nguyen</div>
|After careful analysis of wing types, relative weights, and pizza grabbing mechanisms, it is deduced that even the most compatible bird - the eagle - would be hard-pressed to deliver a pizza to an airliner, the relative speed being the largest hurdle. However, delivery to a house - where the relative speed is not so much of a problem - would be possible, though the pizza might be found a slice or two short.
|{{blog|149|2016|03|26|7d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Tatooine Rainbow.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|150|Tatooine Rainbow}}'''
|''"Since rainbows are caused by the refraction of the sunlight by tiny droplets of rainwater, what would rainbow look like on Earth if we had two suns like Tatooine?"''
<div align="right">—Raga</div>
|Each sun is the source of not just one rainbow, but a whole series of rainbows of diminishing intensity; the elusive 5th order rainbow had apparently been pictured at the time of publication. A planet with two suns would consequently have two series of rainbows. A solar system arranged like Tatooine would have to be circumbinary, which limits the separation of the two rainbow series to about 20 degrees. As the main rainbow is 84 degrees across, this leads to the conclusion that the rainbows would always be overlapping.
|{{blog|150|2016|05|23|1m 21d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Sun Bug.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|151|Sun Bug}}'''
|''"How many fireflies would it take to match the brightness of the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—Luke Doty</div>
|30 nonillion fireflies (3 with 31 zeroes after it), which is surprisingly small on the astronomical scale. Counterintuitively, it turns out a single firefly actually glows brighter than an equivalent mass of Sun. However, there are logistical problems with organizing that many fireflies, as you need to arrange them so that they're not blocking each others' lights. You can try to simplify it by just using one very large firefly, but it would be larger than the entire Solar System and immediately collapse into the biggest black hole in the universe.
|{{blog|151|2016|07|21|1m 23d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Flood Death Valley.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|152|Flood Death Valley}}'''
|''"Since Death Valley is below sea level could we dig a hole to the ocean and fill it up with water?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Traeden</div>
|Basically, yes. But there is a lot of digging, and the end result would be quite similar to the Salton Sea which is characterized as "gross" (technical term). Also, heat world records would likely move elsewhere.
|{{blog|152|2016|10|18|2m 21d late}}
|
|
|-
|''The thumbnail for this blog article wasn't archived.''
|'''<span class="plainlinks">[https://web.archive.org/web/20161205191559/http://what-if.xkcd.com/153 Peptides]</span>'''
|''"What is the longest English word you can spell using the one letter abbreviations of the 20 genetic amino acids? What about the three letter abbreviations? What would the resultant peptides look like?"''
<div align="right">—Kira (Lysine-Isoleucine-Arginine-Alanine) Guth</div>
|For any peptides, 19 letters is the highest possible, that being the word "interdepartmentally". For naturally existing peptides in the human body, 8 letters is the highest known. Examples of 8 letters are: GRISETTE, DATELESS, REVERSAL.
|{{blog|153|2016|12|05|notAvailable=Published by accident and deleted: [[what if? (blog)#top|learn more]]}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Hide the Atmosphere.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|153|Hide the Atmosphere}}'''
|''"Earth’s atmosphere is really thin compared to the radius of the Earth. How big a hole do I need to dig before people suffocate?"''
<div align="right">—Sam Burke</div>
|The hole would need to be very big. Under the right circumstances, a five-mile hole over the entire state of Texas might suffice.
|{{blog|153|2017|01|30|3m 5d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Coast-to-Coast Coasting.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|154|Coast-to-Coast Coasting}}'''
|''"What if the entire continental US was on a decreasing slope from West to East. How steep would the slope have to be to sustain the momentum needed to ride a bicycle the entire distance without pedaling?"''
<div align="right">—Brandon Rooks</div>
|The ramp would need to be five miles high (eight kilometres) to make this possible, and that would be at a speed slower than walking. You would also need oxygen for the first third of the way down.
|{{blog|154|2017|02|08|9d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Toaster vs. Freezer.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|155|Toaster vs. Freezer}}'''
|''"Would a toaster still work in a freezer?"''
<div align="right">—<span class="plainlinks">[https://maximumfun.org/podcasts/my-brother-my-brother-and-me/ '''My Brother, My Brother, and Me'''], [https://maximumfun.org/episodes/my-brother-my-brother-and-me/mbmbam-343-sauce-doctors-blessing/ '''Episode 343'''], discussing a </span>Yahoo Answers question</div>
|As a superior being, the Toaster casts its gaze upon lowly humans and hrumphs at their bickering about such measly temperature variations as 40C. The Toaster regularly reaches 600C and thus, to it - much like to the Fire - everything else is cold, be it room temperature or freezer temperature. Winnipeg locals have it easy and can try this for themselves, as long as they can stave off the wolves.
|{{blog|155|2017|02|28|13d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Electrofishing for Whales.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|156|Electrofishing for Whales}}'''
|''"I used to work on a fisheries crew where we would use an electro-fisher backpack to momentarily stun small fish (30 - 100 mm length) so we could scoop them up with nets to identify and measure them. The larger fish tended to be stunned for slightly longer because of their larger surface area but I don't imagine this relationship would be maintained for very large animals. Could you electrofish for a blue whale? At what voltage would you have have to set the e-fisher?"''
<div align="right">—Madeline Cooper</div>
|Electrofishing has long-term effects on fish and especially dolphins. Larger animals, especially mammals, are likely to die rather than just get stunned. But it is also harder to get any effect in saltwater, which explains why electrofishing is mainly done in rivers and lakes, compared to fresh water. This means it wouldn't work on blue whales.
|{{blog|156|2017|03|09|2d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Earth-Moon Fire Pole.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|157|Earth-Moon Fire Pole}}'''
|''"My son (5y) asked me today: If there were a kind of a fireman's pole from the Moon down to the Earth, how long would it take to slide all the way from the Moon to the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Ramon Schönborn, Germany</div>
|This set-up would face many challenges, but these would be the different domains of the slowest extreme sport: climbing out of the Moon's gravity, accelerating through the middle transfer phase, and then decelerating to your supersonic arrival on Earth.
|{{blog|157|2018|03|21|1y 2m 5d late}}
|{{book|2|58}}
|
|-
|[[File:Hot Banana.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|158|Hot Banana}}'''
|''"I heard that bananas are radioactive. If they are radioactive, then they radiate energy. How many bananas would you need to power a house?"''
<div align="right">—Kang Ji</div>
|Bananas are not very radioactive, so it would take an absurdly large number. However, gathering that many bananas in one place would have negative consequences. New York no longer exists.
|{{blog|158|2022|05|04|3y 11m 7d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Hailstones.png|100px]]
|'''{{What If|159|Hailstones}}'''
|''"My 4 year old son and I were wondering about soccer ball sized hail today. How much damage would a hail storm with size 5 soccer ball sized hail do?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Grill</div>
|Hailstones get increasingly dangerous as they get larger, as their increased weight cancels their air resistance, allowing them to reach a higher terminal velocity while still carrying all that mass. Regular hailstones are too slow and light to be lethal, but a soccer ball-sized hailstone would hit at around 140 mph, capable of punching straight through the roof of a car or building. Fortunately, no hailstone on record has ever been that big, although storms can on occasion produce hailstones large enough to damage cars, and in rare cases even kill people.
|{{blog|159|2022|07|05|1m 30d late}}
|
|
|-
|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{What If|160|Transatlantic Car Rental}}'''
|''"My daughter recently received her driver's permit in the US, and aspires to visit mainland Europe someday. She has learned enough about the rules of the road to know never to drive into the ocean; however, she jokingly suggested that given a sufficient quantity of rental cars, she could eventually get to Europe by driving east repeatedly. The question is, how many vehicles would it take to build a car-bridge across the Atlantic?"''
<div align="right">—Eric Munson</div>
|You'd need approximately a billion plus a trillion cars to pull this off. Also, in addition to destroying global ocean circulation and creating an illegal naval blockade, this is definitely a violation of her rental car agreement. Also, organizing a fleet of that many rental cars would be difficult.
|{{blog|160|2022|09|06|1m 26d late}}
|
|
|-
|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{What If|161|Star Ownership}}'''
|''"If every country's airspace extended up forever, which country would own the largest percentage of the galaxy at any given time?"''
<div align="right">—Reuven Lazarus</div>
|Given that the South pole (of Earth) points towards the Milky way centre, most of the galaxy will wind up in the air-space (space-space?) of countries of the southern hemisphere. However, due to Earth's rotation around its axis, the nadir of the galaxy core (on Earth) will constantly shift. Given that Australia is the largest of the southern countries, Australia will most often be the Rulers of the Universe. Northern hemisphere jurisdictions, such as New Jersey, will have to contend with some pretty nifty black holes and possibly murderous exoplanets.
|{{blog|161|2022|11|01|1m 19d late}}
|{{book|2|24}}
|
|-
|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{What If|162|Comet Ice}}'''
|''"Could I cool down the Earth by capturing a comet and dropping it in the ocean, like an ice cube in a glass of water?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Becker</div>
|Only if you had a magical sky-crane that could cancel the comet's initial kinetic energy during capture, then slowly lower it to the ground without converting all of its gravitational potential energy back into more kinetic energy. Converting that potential energy into electricity to substitute for existing fossil fuel power plants would reduce CO2 emissions, but the effect of that substitution on global temperatures is uncertain and likely negligible. Meanwhile, the amount of ice in a comet that could be used to cool the oceans directly is also less than one would expect from its size, since comets are not solid. Overall, the answer is effectively "no".
|{{blog|162|2022|12|06|29d late}}
|
|
|-
|
|'''Global Windstorm'''
|''"What would happen if the Earth and all terrestrial objects suddenly stopped spinning, but the atmosphere retained its velocity?"''
<div align="right">—Andrew Brown</div>
|Everyone would die. Then, the wind would destroy everything, with gusts blowing more than 1,000 mph (1,600 km/h) around the equator, killing 85% of the world population. The highest winds would only last a few minutes, but that would be enough to vaporise most human structures. Bunkers would be useless, because, even if your bunker were stuck to the ground hard, others would not be as strong and would hit yours at 1,000 mph. However, most of the researchers at the {{w|Amundsen–Scott South Pole Station}} would be completely fine. The wind blast would then become a heat blast with scorching temperatures and create global thunderstorms in moist areas. After a while, the Earth would gradually start to regain its rotational velocity thanks to the Moon.
|
|{{book|1|1}}
|{{book|4|2024|01|09|gp5G1QG6cXc|What if Earth suddenly stopped spinning?}}
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #1'''
| colspan="2" |''"Would it be possible to get your teeth to such a cold temperature that they would shatter upon drinking a hot cup of coffee?"''
<div align="right">—Shelby Hebert</div>
<div align="right"></div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|4}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"How many houses are burned down in the United States every year? What would be the easiest way to increase that number by a significant amount (say, at least 15%)?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
|
|'''New York–Style Time Machine'''
|''"I assume when you travel back in time you end up at the same spot on the Earth’s surface. At least, that’s how it worked in the Back to the Future movies. If so, what would it be like if you traveled back in time, starting in Times Square, New York, 1000 years? 10,000 years? 100,000 years? 1,000,000 years? 1,000,000,000 years? What about foward in time 1,000,000 years?"''
<div align="right">—Mark Dettling</div>
|
*1,000 years back, you'd see many chestnut trees, wolves, and passenger pigeons.
*10,000 years back, the ground would be mostly bedrock, with large chunks of ice and dropped boulders, called glacial erratics.
*100,000 years back, several islands were pushed upwards by the ice. You would see many now-extinct species, such as Canis dirus, Smilodon fatalis, and Arctodus.
*1,000,000 years back, you'd see relatives of hyenas called Chasmaporthetes.
*1,000,000,000 years back would be no plants or animals, only single-celled organisms in the ocean.
|
|{{book|1|5}}
|
|-
|
|'''Periodic Wall of the Elements'''
|''"What would happen if you made a periodic table out of cube-shaped bricks, where each brick was made of the corresponding element?"''
<div align="right">—Andy Connolly</div>
|The top two rows wouldn't be too dangerous to build, but the rest of the periodic table would seriously injure or kill you. In the sixth row, elements with short half-lives would destroy the room you were in as well as causing nuclear fallout to fall nearby. Past the sixth row, the entire city you were in would be destroyed.
|
|{{book|1|8}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #2'''
| colspan="2" |''"Would dumping anti-matter into the Chernobyl reactor when it was melting down stop the meltdown?"''
<div align="right">—AJ</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|12}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"Is it possible to cry so much you dehydrate yourself?"''<div align="right">—Karl Wildermuth</div>
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''The Last Human Light'''
| rowspan="2" |''"If every human somehow simply disappeared from the face of the Earth, how long would it be before the last artificial light source would go out?"''
<div align="right">—Alan</div>
| rowspan="2" |Radioactive waste that was mixed with glass will glow for centuries.
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|13}}
|{{book|11|2024|05|28|8fADp43wJwU|If all humans died, when would the last light go out?}}
|-
|{{book|5|short-video=yes|2025|07|29|kNry0bf7eC0|Could this be the last surviving human light source?}}
|-
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #3'''
| colspan="2" |''"Given humanity’s current knowledge and capabilities, is it possible to build a new star?"''
<div align="right">—Jeff Gordon</div>
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|16}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"What sort of logistic anomalies would you encounter in trying to raise an army of apes?"''<div align="right">—Kevin</div>
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If people had wheels and could fly, how would we differentiate them from airplanes?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Orbital Submarine'''
| rowspan="2" |''"How long would a nuclear submarine last in orbit?"''
<div align="right">—Jason Lathbury</div>
| rowspan="2" |Submarines are, unsurprisingly, very good at being watertight. This would mean that, mostly, air would stay within the submarine for a time. However, a nuclear submarine is able to stay under for so long because it can convert seawater into oxygen. With no seawater, no oxygen is made, which means that eventually they will run out of air. Getting back into the atmosphere would be tricky. Firing all of a submarine's missiles backwards (i.e. towards the ship) with their detonators removed would produce just enough force for the sub to deorbit and reenter the atmosphere. At that point, the heat and forces of reentry would rip the submarine apart, similar to the {{w|Space Shuttle Challenger disaster}}.
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|17}}
|{{book|7|2024|03|05|EsUBRd1O2dU|Would a Submarine Work as a Spaceship?}}
|-
|{{book|4|short-video=yes|2025|07|22|sFTRRdHqZIQ|Why Space Is Actually Warm!}}
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #4'''
| colspan="2" |''"Would it be possible to stop a volcano eruption by placing a bomb (thermobaric or nuclear) underneath the surface?"''
<div align="right">—Tomasz Gruszka</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|20}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"A friend of mine is convinced that there is sound in space. There isn’t, right?"''<div align="right">—Aaron Smith</div>
|-
|
|'''Human Computer'''
|''"How much computing power could we achieve if the entire world population stopped whatever we are doing right now and started doing calculations? How would it compare to a modern-day computer or smartphone?"''
<div align="right">—Mateusz Knorps</div>
|The combined computing power of all devices surpassed the power of all humans in 1977.
|
|{{book|1|21}}
|
|-
|
|'''Common Cold'''
|''"If everyone on the planet stayed away from each other for a couple of weeks, wouldn't the common cold virus be wiped out?"''
<div align="right">—Sarah Ewart</div>
|In theory, this would work. In practice, it wouldn't for a simple reason: Some people have compromised immune systems. These people's bodies can be a safe haven for rhinoviruses, which would mean the common cold, would quickly spread through the population again. The world's food supplies would also be an issue, as people may need to eat foods not designed to be eaten directly (i.e. raw grain). Many systems would shut down as people wouldn't be there to maintain them. Many millions would be stranded in places like Antarctica or the Sahara Desert, which would lead to many deaths. In effect, the scenario would be similar to 'Everybody Jump'.
|
|{{book|1|25}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #5'''
| colspan="2" |''" If global warming puts us in danger through temperature rise, and super-volcanos put us into danger of global cooling, shouldn’t those two dangers balance each other out?"''
<div align="right">—Florian Seidl-Schulz</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|27}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"How fast would a human have to run in order to be cut in half at the bellybutton by a cheese-cutting wire?"''<div align="right">—Jon Merrill</div>
|-
|
|'''No More DNA'''
|''"This may be a bit gruesome, but... if someone's DNA suddenly vanished, how long would that person last?"''
<div align="right">—Nina Charest</div>
|You could live for several hours or days before succumbing to infection or systemwide organ failure.
|
|{{book|1|29}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #6'''
| colspan="2" |''"What is the total nutritional value (calories, fat, vitamins, minerals, etc.) of the average human body?"''
<div align="right">—Justin Risner</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|31}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"What temperature would a chainsaw (or other cutting implement) need to be at to instantly cauterize any injuries inflicted with it?"''<div align="right">—Sylvia Gallagher</div>
|-
|
|'''Flyover States'''
|''"Which US state is actually flown over the most?"''
<div align="right">—Jesse Ruderman</div>
|Somewhat surprisingly,Virgina, due to a large amount of flights from Toronto to the Carribbean/South America. Despite it having many major airports, inlcluding most of those serving DC, there are also many major airports which have routes passing over Virginia, such as KATL and KJFK.
|
|{{book|1|33}}
|
|-
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #7'''
| colspan="2" |''"In Thor the main character is at one point spinning his hammer so fast that he creates a strong tornado. Would this be possible in real life?"''
<div align="right">—Davor</div>
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|36}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If you saved a whole life’s worth of kissing and used all that suction power on one single kiss, how much suction force would that single kiss have?"''<div align="right">—Jonatan Lindström</div>
|-
| colspan="2" |''"How many nuclear missiles would have to be launched at the United States to turn it into a complete wasteland?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
|
|'''Self-Fertilization'''
|''"I read about some researchers who were trying to produce sperm from bone marrow stem cells. If a woman were to have sperm cells made from her own stem cells and impregnate herself, what would be her relationship to her daughter?"''
<div align="right">—R Scott LaMorte</div>
|As the child is coming from, effectively, two parents with identical DNA, there would be many genetic defects, similar to being inbred. As there is no father to contribute a Y chromosome, the child is guaranteed to be a girl.
|
|{{book|1|37}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #8'''
| colspan="2" |''"A toxin blocks the ability of the nephron tubule reabsorption but does not affect filtration. What are the possible short-term effects of this toxin?"''
<div align="right">—Mary</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|40}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If a Venus fly trap could eat a person, about how long would it take for the human to be fully de-juiced and absorbed?"''<div align="right">—Jonathan Wang</div>
|-
|
|'''Lost Immortals'''
|''"If two immortal people were placed on opposite sides of an uninhabited Earthlike planet, how long would it take them to find each other? 100,000 years? 1,000,000 years? 100,000,000,000 years?"''
<div align="right">—Ethan Lake</div>
|Depending on strategy and terrain, a few years to a few decades.
|
|{{book|1|42}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #9'''
| colspan="2" |''"Could you survive a tidal wave by submerging yourself in an in-ground pool?"''
<div align="right">—Chris Muska</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|46}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If you are in free fall and your parachute fails, but you have a Slinky with extremely convenient mass, tension, etc., would it be''
possible to save yourself by throwing the Slinky upward while holding on to one end of it?"<div align="right">—Varadarajan Srinivasan</div>
|-
|
|'''Sparta'''
|''"In the movie 300 they shoot arrows up into the sky and they seemingly blot out the sun. Is this possible, and how many arrows would it take?"''
<div align="right">—Anna Newell</div>
|300 arrows per second with densely packed archers could blot out 99% of the Sun's light. If the Sun were low in the horizon, you could more effectively block sunlight with less arrows. However, this would have little to no effect on the opponent, unless it required solar panels.
|
|{{book|1|47}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lego Bridge'''
|''"How many Lego bricks would it take to build a bridge capable of carrying traffic from London to New York? Have that many Lego bricks been manufactured?"''
<div align="right">—Jerry Petersen</div>
|Enough bricks have been manufactured to connect London and New York, but the bridge would not be structurally sound enough to stay together for very long.
|
|{{book|1|51}}
|
|-
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #10'''
| colspan="2" |''"What is the probability that if I am stabbed by a knife in my torso that it won’t hit anything vital and I’ll live?"''
<div align="right">—Thomas</div>
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|54}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"If I were on a motorbike and do a jump off a quarter pipe ramp, how fast would I need to be moving to safely deploy and land using the parachute?"''<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
| colspan="2" |''"What if every day, every human had a 1 percent chance of being turned into a turkey, and every turkey had a 1 percent chance of''
being turned into a human?"<div align="right">—Kenneth</div>
|-
|
|'''Weightless Arrow'''
|''"Assuming a zero-gravity environment with an atmosphere identical to Earth's, how long would it take the friction of air to stop an arrow fired from a bow? Would it eventually come to a standstill and hover in midair?"''
<div align="right">—Mark Estano</div>
|It would stop at about 5 to 10 kilometers.
|
|{{book|1|56}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''All the Lightning'''
| rowspan="2" |''"If all the lightning strikes happening in the world on any given day all happened in the same place at once, what would happen to that place?"''
<div align="right">—Trevor Jones</div>
| rowspan="2" |It would create a crater the size of a basketball court.
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" {{book|1|62}}
|{{book|10|2024|05|07|fs28lEq9smw|What if all the lightning on Earth struck the same place at once?}}
|-
|{{book|3|short-video=yes|2025|07|15|_efsqO-4OoQ|Could We Harvest Power From Lightning?}}
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #11'''
| colspan="2" |''"What if everyone in Great Britain went to one of the coasts and started paddling? Could they move the island at all?"''
<div align="right">—Ellen Eubanks</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|64}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"Are fire tornadoes possible?"''<div align="right">—Seth Wishman</div>
|-
|
|'''Neutron Bullet'''
|''"If a bullet with the density of a neutron star were fired from a handgun (ignoring the how) at the Earth's surface, would the Earth be destroyed?"''
<div align="right">—Charlotte Ainsworth</div>
|No. The bullet would fall through the ground and stop in the center of the Earth.
|
|{{book|1|67}}
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2" |'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #12'''
| colspan="2" |''"What if I swallow a tick that has Lyme disease? Will my stomach acid kill the tick and the borreliosis, or would I get Lyme disease from the inside out?"''
<div align="right">—Christopher Vogel</div>
| rowspan="2" |
| rowspan="2"{{book|1|68}}
| rowspan="2" |
|-
| colspan="2" |''"Assuming a relatively uniform resonant frequency in a passenger jet, how many cats, meowing at what resonant frequency of said jet, would be required to "bring it down"?"<div align="right">—Brittany</div>
|-
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" |'''Richter 15'''
| rowspan="3" |''"What if a Richter magnitude 15 earthquake were to hit America at, let's say, New York City? What about a Richter 20? 25?"''
<div align="right">—Alec Farid</div>
| rowspan="3" |A magnitude 15 earthquake would destroy the Earth, but going higher won't make much difference. You can actually go lower than 0, though.
| rowspan="3" |
| rowspan="3" {{book|1|69}}
|{{book|2|2023|12|05|e3uk7jU3RHo|What would a magnitude 15 earthquake be like?}}
|-
|{{book|1|short-video=yes|2025|06|24|wBLVmEZV2Oc|How high could the magnitude of Earthquakes go?}}
|-
|{{book|2|short-video=yes|2025|07|01|FKXVs4UteSc|Is there such a thing as a magnitude 0 earthquake?}}
|-
|
|'''Soupiter'''
|''"What would happen if the Solar System was filled with soup out to Jupiter?"''
<div align="right">—Amelia</div>
|The soup would collapse into a very large black hole and devour the Milky Way, though we would feel mostly fine for the first 10 to 15 minutes.
|
|{{book|2|1}}
|
|-
|
|'''Helicopter Ride'''
|''"What if you were hanging on a helicopter blade by your hands and then someone turned it on?"''
<div align="right">—Corban Blanset</div>
|Without any grip assistance, you'd fall off before it completed its first revolution. With handholds, your body would instead fall off of your arms. Assuming no issues with staying on the wing, there would be more problems to follow. The helicopter, as it spooled up, would begin violently wobbling due to the constantly changing center of gravity before flipping itself, destroying both you and the pilot in a massive fireball.
|
|{{book|2|2}}
|
|-
|
|'''Dangerously Cold'''
|''"Would there be any danger from standing next to a large object that was 0 Kelvin?"''
<div align="right">—Christopher</div>
|There wouldn't be a lot of direct danger from the cube itself, though it would make you feel cold. The bigger danger would be from liquid oxygen condensing and igniting flammable objects. It would take a while to reheat the cube
|
|{{book|2|3}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ironic Vaporization'''
|''"What if we somehow evaporated a solid block of iron on {{asic|ear|th''}}''?"''
<div align="right">—Cooper C.</div>
|The cube would ignite whatever is near it and deposit large quantities of iron flakes downwind. However, it wouldn't make a huge impact on the total amount of atmospheric iron.
|
|{{book|2|4}}
|
|-
|
|'''Cosmic Road Trip'''
|''"If the universe stopped expanding right now, how long would it take for a human to drive a car all the way to the edge of the universe?"''
<div align="right">—Sam H-H</div>
|First off, a human can't do this. Assuming a normal crash rate, an average human driver wouldn't make it past Mars without crashing. Even truck drivers, a field where the crash rate is much lower, wouldn't make it past Jupiter. Using a self-driving car, however, would negate this. It would take an incredibly long time, on the order of approximately 480 quadrillion years if you're driving at a steady pace of 65 miles per hour. Assuming you want to keep your car functional, you would go through 30 quintillion oil changes. Assuming a reasonable 33 MPG highway mileage, the amount of gasoline needed would be similar to the Moon in size. You would also need 10^17 tons of snacks. Entertainment would be another issue. If every person who has ever lived had 150 friends/acquaintances, listening to a real-time podcast of someone's life, all from the perspective of a different friend/acquaintance, you would need to re-watch them all 150 times to make it to the edge of the observable universe. Once you get there, there would be no Earth to come back to.
|
|{{book|2|5}}
|
|-
|
|'''Pigeon Chair'''
|''"How many pigeons would it require in order to lift the average person and launch a chair to the height of Australia's Q1 skyscraper?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Evans</div>
|The optimal method for using the least amount of pigeons would be to use a multi-stage system of sorts. A group of pigeons would lift you about 10 feet, before dropping you as another group swoops in to take their place. However, even with this system, the number of pigeons would be large enough that the Earth would be pulled into the pigeons by gravity instead of the other way around. In other words, if you want to get to the top of Australia's Q1 skyscraper, use an elevator.
|
|{{book|2|6}}
|
|-
|rowspan="11"|
|rowspan="11"|'''Short Answers #1'''
|''"What if your blood became liquid uranium? Would you die from radiation, lack of oxygen, or something else?"''
<div align="right">—Thomas Chattaway</div>
|You would die Having-no-Blood-and-Being-Full-of-Molten-Uranium Syndrome. Also known as Jeff's Disease.
|rowspan="11"|
|rowspan="11"{{book|2|6.5}} (S1)
|rowspan="11"|
|-
|''"Could someone have an anime-style attack where they created a sword out of air? I'm not talking about an air blade, but something like cooling the air enough so that you had solid air to attack people."''
<div align="right">—Emma</div>
|Theoretically yes, but it would be extremely impractical. The temperature to turn oxygen solid is very low, and even with proper insulation it would still cause frostbite. It would also be very weak and very soft, and would sublimate quickly, basically making it useless for all intensive purposes, except for PR.
|-
|''"How much water do you have to drink to become 99 percent water?"''
<div align="right">—LyraxH</div>
|About 500 gallons of water.
|-
|''"What would we see if we attached a lightweight camera to a balloon and let it fly away?"''
<div align="right">—Raymond Peng</div>
|We would see a balloon slowly flying away, fading into the sky. It would be quite pretty. Though next time we should probably attach a transmitter.
|-
|''"How many calories does Mario burn a day?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel and Xavier Hovley</div>
|Mario starved to death in late 1985.
|-
|''"If a snake unhinged its jaw and swallowed a balloon whole, could/would the balloon carry the snake up?"''
<div align="right">—Freezachu</div>
|No.
|-
|''"If you were to jump out of an airplane that was traveling at Mach 880980 that was 100,00 feet above ground in New York City, with skydiving gear, could you survive?"''
<div align="right">—Jack Catten</div>
|rowspan="2"|No, you would die.
|-
|''"If there was no water on Earth, would we all live?"''
<div align="right">—Karen</div>
|-
|''"Is it possible to make a homemade jetpack?"''
<div align="right">—Azhari Zadil</div>
|It's very easy to make one that works once; much harder to make it work more.
|-
|''"I was wondering whether there's a way to use my welder as a defibrillator? (The specific model I own is an Impax IM-ARC140 arc welder.)"''
<div align="right">—Łukasz Grabowski</div>
|No, and you probably shouldn't be allowed to use it as an arc welder either.
|-
|''"What if all atoms on Earth were expanded to the size of a grape? Would we survive?
|I don't know how to answer this with science, but now I want grapes.
|-
|
|'''Geyser'''
|''"If one were to stand on top of the Old Faithful geyser in Yellowstone National Park, at what speed would they be launched upwards and what injuries would they likely sustain?"''
<div align="right">—Catherine McGrath</div>
|If you positioned yourself in just the right way, and used an umbrella to catch as much lift as possible, you could be launched hundreds of feet in the air. Unsurprisingly, you'd receive severe burns and almost certainly die. Surprisingly, however, you would be far from the first person to get severe burns from the geysers.
|
|{{book|2|8}}
|
|-
|
|'''Pew, Pew, Pew'''
|''"If you shot a ridiculously powerful gun/{{asic|la|zer''}}'' would it go off the edge of the world in a straight line or curve around the world?"''
<div align="right">—Maelor</div>
|The beam would go off the edge of the world, except under certain circumstances.
|
|{{book|2|9}}
|
|-
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"|'''Weird & Worrying #1'''
|colspan="2"|''"Can bees or other animals go to hell? Or can they murder other bees without consequences?"''
<div align="right">—Sadie Kim</div>
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"{{book|2|10.5}} (W1)
|rowspan="4"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"How many mirrors reflecting (sun)light would it take to kill, or at least, injure somebody?"''
<div align="right">—Eli Collinge</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If you had to remove the tonsils of a giant, what would be the safest way for you to do it? The surgeon is a normal human."''
<div align="right">—Tirzah</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"What would it take to defeat Air Force One with a drone???"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
|
|'''Banana Church'''
|''"Can all the world's bananas fit inside of all of the world's churches? My friends have had this argument for a little over 10 years now."''
<div align="right">—Jonas</div>
|<big><big>{{notice2|'''Most of these are too short!'''}}</big></big> <big><big>{{notice|'''If you own the second book, please help us by explaining more!'''}}</big></big> Yes. They would likely only fill the churches to 6 inches deep. For the bananas to be unable to fit, each person would need to eat a 1 foot by 1 foot by 2 meter crate's worth of bananas per year.
|
|{{book|2|11}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lose Weight the Slow and Incredibly Difficult Way'''
|''"I want to lose 20 pounds. How much of the Earth's mass would I have to "relocate" to space in order to achieve my goal?"''
<div align="right">—Ryan Murphy</div>
|You would have to remove 85% of the Earth's mass. However, due to the increase in density in the mantle, you would actually gain weight until you've removed about half the Earth's diameter. An image of what it would look like is shown in [[2575: What If? 2]], where a potato peeler is used to remove the crust of the Earth.
|
|{{book|2|13}}
|
|-
|
|'''Jupiter Comes to Town'''
|''"Dear Randall, what would happen if you shrunk Jupiter down to the size of a house and placed in a neighborhood, say, replacing a house?"''
<div align="right">—Zachary</div>
|Assuming density stayed the same when you shrunk Jupiter down, the biggest issue would be that the gravity that keeps its hot interior together would no longer exist, essentially creating a giant fireball that would turn into a mushroom cloud, and eventually spread out into a big cool cloud. This would, effectively, be the reverse of the formation of Jupiter, which started as clouds before being compressed into a small hot ball.
|
|{{book|2|15}}
|
|-
|
|'''Swing Set'''
|''"How tall can a swing set be while still being powered by a human pumping their legs? Is it possible to build a swing set tall enough to launch the rider into space if they jump at the right time? (Assuming the human has enough energy, which my 5-year-old seems to have.)"''
<div align="right">—Joe Coyle</div>
|This is impossible due to the fact that, by pumping the legs, you are essentially pushing against the crossbar of the swing set. A string which is too long will result in a very low amount of force being delivered to the crossbar, lowering the maximum angle you can swing relative to the base of the curve. Calculations show that the optimal crossbar height to gain the most angle relative to the ground is approximately 8 feet.
|
|{{book|2|17}}
|
|-
|
|'''Airliner Catapult'''
|''"My friend is a commercial airline pilot. She says that a significant amount of fuel is spent on takeoff. To save fuel, why couldn't we launch airplanes using catapult systems like on aircraft carriers (calibrated to normal human accelerations)? Could significant amounts of fossil fuels be saved if the catapults could be run by some other clean energy? I'm imagining a rope ... one end tied to the airplane, the other tied to a large boulder at the edge of a cliff. Just push the boulder off the cliff!"''
<div align="right">—Brady Barkey</div>
|It's not a completely ridiculous idea, but the most practical issue is that you'd have to extend the roughly mile-long runway several times more to take full advantage of it. Using the proposed rope-and-cliff system, you'd need to use a thousand ton weight dropped at the height of a super tall skyscraper - of course, if you used something heavier, like the 80,000-ton Washington Monument, you wouldn't need to drop it as far.
|
|{{book|2|18}}
|
|-
|rowspan="14"|
|rowspan="14"|'''Short Answers #2'''
|''"Billy the Clown is running out of cash, so in order to raise money, he devises his newest trick: He will inflate, by mouth, a standard-size party balloon until the material (some form of indestructible rubber) is just one atom thick. How large would the inflated party balloon be?"''
<div align="right">—Alan Fong</div>
|It's a total mystery why Billy is running out of cash.
|rowspan="14"|
|rowspan="14"{{book|2|18.5}} (S2)
|rowspan="14"|
|-
|''"How many leaf blowers would it take to move a standard SUV"''
<div align="right">—Ashley H.</div>
|Somewhere around 1-2 dozen leaf blowers would do the trick. However, it would be very impractical, consume a lot of fuel, and the acceleration would be very slow. Many more leaf blowers would be needed to accelerate the car at a reasonable rate.
|-
|''"If you put a vacuum at extremely high suction and aimed it at a normal BMW sedan, what would happen?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|Nothing. Cars, even small ones like sedans, are far too large and heavy to be affected by a vacuum, even a very large and powerful one.
|-
|''"On a warm summer evening, when you sit outside with a light on, you can be sure that bugs will be attracted to the light. Then why is it that these same bugs don't fly toward the biggest and strongest lamp of them all, namely the Sun, during the day?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|Those who did would die and not be able to produce offspring with the same traits.
|-
|''"If you collected all of the guns in the world and put them on one side of the Earth, then shot the all simultaneously, would it move the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Nathan</div>
|It would not move the Earth, but it would make the other side a nicer place to live.
|-
|''"What would happen if you microwaved a small microwave, while the smaller one was on as well?"''
<div align="right">—Micheal</div>
|Randall gave the meme answer of 'You would no longer be welcome in that IKEA.' In reality, this would almost certainly lead to some dire consequences. Microwaves contain sensitive electronics which would be damaged from excess heat{{cn}}, leaving the microwave functionally useless. Most microwaves are also made of metal, which is known for exploding when exposed to microwaves. This is the same principle that causes forks to explode when placed in one.
|-
|''"If you're jumping on a trampoline, how fast would your body have to be going to:<br>'''A.''' Break all bones on impact<br>'''B.''' Make your body go though the tiny holes of the mesh."''
<div align="right">—Micah Lane</div>
|<ol style="list-style-type: upper-alpha">
<li>Breaking all of the bones in your body would be hard because a lot of them are very small, but it would be fast enough that the trampoline wouldn't make much of a difference.</li>
<li>This can't happen, no matter how fast you're going.</li>
</ol>
|-
|''"I have a Nothing Grenade™. When detonated, it instantly replaces itself with a sphere of perfect vacuum 2 meters across. What would actually happen when it went off?"''
<div align="right">—Dave H.</div>
|As the two-meter vacuum circle appeared, the surrounding air would rapidly fill in the sudden gap. Almost instantaneously, the air would collide and expand out with enough force to possibly kill a human and damage small structures such as bookshelves or walls. In other words, you basically have a regular grenade.
|-
|''"Is space hot or cold?"''
<div align="right">—Isaac</div>
|The answer to this is complicated. Temperature is a measurement of the speed of particles. In space, having no air resistance, particles move incredibly fast. However, because it's a vacuum, there are almost no particles. This is a similar principle to the reason you don't get burned when welding sparks touch your skin. They're so small they do basically nothing to you. As there are almost no particles to impact you, space is the hottest place you can freeze to death.
|-
|''"How many bones can you remove from the human body while allowing the human to continue living? Asking for a friend."''
<div align="right">—Chris Rakeman</div>
|That person is not your friend.
|-
|''"What would happen if you put a human under a g-force of 417 Gs for twenty seconds?"''
<div align="right">—Nythill</div>
|The human is guaranteed to die. Scientific tests have shown that, despite the human body's ability to withstand g-forces into the hundreds for very short periods of time (a car crash may exceed 100 Gs of force), going over 18 Gs for a long period of time is likely to cause the human to black out and quickly die, as the force would prevent blood from being able to flow through a human body properly. This is the same reason why bugs are unable to move after hitting a car on the highway, even if they survive.
|-
|''"Where or how can one commit a murder and not be prosecuted for it?"''
<div align="right">—Kunai Dhawan</div>
|Theoretically, in a section of Yellowstone National Park, where {{w|Zone of Death (Yellowstone)|a jury would have to be formed from a non-existent population}}. In practice, you'd definitely still be prosecuted for committing a murder there.
|-
|''"I read today that insects make at least $57 billion a year for the US economy. If we were to pay every single insect in the United States equally for their economic contribution, how much would each insect get?"''
<div align="right">—Hannah McDonald</div>
|Each insect would get $0.0000029.
Broken down:
*$18 billion to flies, including mosquitoes
*$16 billion to bees, wasps, and ants
*$10 billion to beetles
*$7 billion to thrips
*$1 billion to butterflies and moths
*$1 billion to true bugs
*$4 billion to all other insects
|-
|''"What, in today's world and yesterday's world, does it mean to be human, in all social and biological factors?"''
<div align="right">—Seth Carrol</div>
|You meant to submit this to ''Why If?: Deeply Ungrammatical Answers to Unanswerable Philosophical Questions''.
|-
|
|'''Slow Dinosaur Apocalypse'''
|''"What if an object like the Chicxulub impactor hit earth with a relatively low relative speed of (let's say) 3 mph"''
<div align="right">—Beni von Alemann</div>
|Even though the meteor is slow, it's still very big. The impactor would not create a crater, but would instead create a weird effect which makes the rock flow like water, creating a large "space dirt pancake" about the same diameter as the Chicxulub impact Crater. If {{w|Jurassic Park}} were a real place, it could certainly cause a dinosaur extinction over there, if dropped on it.
|
|{{book|2|19}}
|
|-
|
|'''Elemental Worlds'''
|''"What if Mercury (the planet) were entirely made of mercury (the element)? What if Ceres was made of cerium? Uranus made of uranium? Neptune made of neptunium? What about Pluto made of plutonium?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|Earth would (mostly) be fine. Mercury, uranium, neptunium, plutonium, and cerium would all replace the old planets. Changes are as follows:
*Pluto would be visible to the naked eye
*Ceres would be visible to the naked eye
*Mercury would be visible to the naked eye
*Uranus would look a fairly bight star in the night sky
*''When Neptune hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's an x-ray..''
|
|{{book|2|20}}
| 
|-
|
|'''Tire Rubber'''
|''"Rubber tires on millions of cars and trucks start with about ½" tread and end up bald. Rubber should be everywhere, or at least our highways should be made thicker. Where's the rubber?"''
<div align="right">—Fred</div>
|An average tire sheds about 1.6 liters of rubber over the course of its lifetime (from new to bald). If all tire rubber stuck to the road, it would rise by about a third of a millimeter per year. However, most tire rubber shavings are small enough to drift through the air, or for rain and wind to wash them off the road. Tire rubber is more than enough to cause environmental disruption and it's one of the leading causes of microplastics in our oceans.
|
|{{book|2|25}}
|
|-
|rowspan="10"|
|rowspan="10"|'''Short Answers #3'''
|''"How long do you think two people would have to kiss continuously before they had no lips left?"''
<div align="right">—Asli</div>
|That's not how lips work
|rowspan="10"|
|rowspan="10"{{book|2|26.5}} (S3)
|rowspan="10"|
|-
|''"My college friend and I have had this debate for years now: If you put a million hungry ants in a glass cube with one human, who's more likely to walk out alive?"''
<div align="right">—Eric Bowman</div>
|The human would try to break out of the cube, and probably succeed. Although disgusted, the human would probably be fine. Ants generally do not eat meat, preferring leaves and other foliage. If they escaped, both the human and the ants would go after the person who put them in the glass box. If they did not escape, both the human and the ants would eventually die of suffocation, assuming no air holes were installed.
|-
|''"What if all of humanity set all of their differences aside and work together to level out the Earth into a perfect sphere?"''
<div align="right">—Erik Andersen</div>
|This would quickly create new differences. Even if some magical force were employed to keep humanity centered on making the earth a perfect sphere, it would take many years and be almost impossible to do. Because the Earth is an oblate spheroid, and not a sphere as-is, a lot of land would need to be displaced in order to create a perfect sphere. There would need to be somewhere to put all the water in the oceans, which would need to be removed, and a way to move large amounts of land very long distances. Many cities would be buried, such as Amsterdam (average elevation -6.6').
|-
|''"People talk a lot about a space elevator or a building that would reach into low orbit to save time and resources getting things into space. This is going to sound incredibly stupid, but why has no one proposed building a road into space? Since orbit is generally considered to be 62 miles out, would it be possible to build a 62-mile-high mountain somewhere in the United States? Colorado would be my suggestion, since it has a low population density and is about a mile above sea level already."''
<div align="right">—Brian</div>
|Where are you going to get the materials to build the mountain? Also, Colorado has a lot of people in it.
|-
|''"If I shot a rocket and a bullet through Jupiter's center, would they come out the other side?"''
<div align="right">—James Wilson</div>
|No, as the leading theory is that Jupiter has a solid core. Shooting a bullet through the center would simply cause the bullet to collide with the core of the planet.
|-
|''"What if Mount Everest magically turned into pure lava? What would happen to life; would we all die?"''
<div align="right">—Ian</div>
|We would mostly be okay.
|-
|''"Can you fall down into the Mariana Trench, or would you just swim over it?"''
<div align="right">—Rodolfo Estrella</div>
|You can do both of those things. Assuming what he was trying to say was "Can you swim over the Marianas Trench without falling into it?" the answer is that you would just swim directly over it.
|-
|''"I play Dungeons & Dragons, and my DM doesn't want to let us use the Gust of Wind spell to push wind into the sails of a ship and make it move. Her argument is that you can't use this spell to move a ship because someone on a sailboat can't aim a fan at the sail to propel the boat. We argue that since the spell doesn't push you backward when you use it, then we should be able to use it to make the ship sail. She says she'll allow it only if you say so."''
<div align="right">—Georgia Paterson and Allison Adams</div>
|Since the spell doesn't push you backwards, it should work. If the spell pushed you backwards, you would just have to aim the spell backwards.
|-
|''"What if I struck a match on Titan? Would it light if there's no oxygen?"''
<div align="right">—Ethan Fitzgibbon</div>
| While the match would light initially due to the small amount of oxidizer in a matchhead (typically {{w|potassium chlorate}}, in a safety match), it would quickly dissipate due to the lack of oxygen to titan's atmosphere.
|-
|''"I posted a question on social media asking what would be the smallest change that would create the biggest disaster. One of the responses I got said "if every atom gained 1 proton." So my question for you is, what would happen if every atom gained 1 proton?"''
<div align="right">—Olivia Caputo</div>
|The Earth would become one big, very explosive science experiment. Stable atoms would become unstable, releasing large amounts of energy all at once. Brain matter would cease to be brain matter, and cells would no longer be cells. This would lead to everything dying at once. At least we wouldn't need to experience it.
|-
|
|'''Suction Aquarium'''
|''"When I was a child, I discovered that if I took a container into the swimming pool, I could fill it with water and then bring the container (open-end down) to the surface of the water, and the water level in my container was higher than the water level in the pool. What would happen if you tried to do this with a giant container and the ocean? Could you create a giant aquarium on top of the water that the animals could swim in and out of freely? Maybe an irregularly shaped container that you would walk around on to get closer to the fish?"''
<div align="right">—Caroline Collett</div>
|It would work, but the water level would slowly lower back to sea level over time. However, this process can be accelerated by whale farts. I am not joking.
|
|{{book|2|27}}
|
|-
|
|'''Earth Eye'''
|''"If the Earth were a massive eye, how far would it see?"''
<div align="right">—Alasdir</div>
|Its 'resolution' would be over 500 million times better than a normal human eye. It would be able to see the color of a shirt worn on Mars. It could also see incredibly far objects, such as some of the most distant galaxies that haven't been {{w|redshift}}ed to the point of being infrared. However, a planet-sized eye would be inconvenient, as it would certainly go blind from the Sun and could be damaged from nearby stars as well.
|
|{{book|2|28}}
|
|-
|
|'''Build Rome in a Day'''
|''"How many people would it take to build Rome in a day?"''
<div align="right">—Lauren</div>
| It would take anywhere between 15 minutes and 150 minutes with the whole Earth working.
|
|{{book|2|29}}
|
|-
|
|'''Mariana Trench Tube'''
|''"If I put an indestructible 20-meter-wide glass tube in the ocean that goes all the way down to the deepest part of the ocean, what would it be like to stand at the bottom? Assuming the sun goes directly overhead."''
<div align="right">—Zoki Čulo</div>
|You would likely see many new and undiscovered species. You would also be incredibly cold as the freezing waters of the deep would cool the glass. Getting up would be another problem entirely. If you didn't use an elevator, you could break the glass. That would create a geyser, accelerating you upwards at lethal G-forces. Once you reach the surface, you would fly high into the air before crashing back down into the ocean. Also, you would be heralded as a hero by a lot of marine biologists.
|
|{{book|2|30}}
|
|-
|
|'''MRI Compass'''
|''"Why don't compasses point toward the nearest hospital because of the magnetic fields created by MRI machines?"''
<div align="right">—D. Hughes</div>
|They actually do, but only within ~10 meters.
|
|{{book|2|32}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ancestor Fraction'''
|''"I noticed recently that the number of people within a family tree increases exponentially with each generation: I have 2 parents, 4 grandparents, 8 great-grandparents, and so on. Which got me thinking—are most people descended from the majority of Homo sapiens who have ever lived? If not, what fraction of all the people that have ever lived am I descended from?"''
<div align="right">—Seamus</div>
|Likely between 2-3 twenty-fourths of all humans who have ever lived.
|
|{{book|2|33}}
|
|-
|
|'''Bird Car'''
|''"I'm a lowly college student stuck in a car without AC. As such, the windows are down most of the time when I'm driving, and I started thinking: If a bird happens to match my speed and direction perfectly, and I swerve to catch the bird in my car ... what happens next, other than an angry bird? Does the bird stay right where it was? Fly into the windshield? Drop into the seat? My roommate and I disagree. Any help settling this would really make all our lives easier."''
<div align="right">—Hunter W.</div>
| The bird would fall onto the seat at an angle, and then would fly out of the window (hopefully).
|
|{{book|2|34}}
|
|-
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"|'''Weird & Worrying #2'''
|colspan="2"|''"What would happen if you put the end of a vacuum hose up to your eye and turned on the vacuum?"''
<div align="right">—Kitty Greer</div>
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"{{book|2|35.5}} (W2)
|rowspan="4"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"Is it possible to hold your arm straight out of a car window and punch a mailbox clean off its pole? Could you do it without breaking your hand?"''
<div align="right">—Ty Gwennap</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If people's teeth kept growing, but when they were fully grown they come off and are swallowed, how long would it take before it causes any problems?"''
<div align="right">—Valen M.</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"In a defensive situation, how much epinephrine (in a EpiPen) would it take to subdue a possible attacker?"''
<div align="right">—Henry M.</div>
|-
|
|'''Vacuum Tube Smartphone'''
|''"What if my phone was based on vacuum tubes? How big would it be?"''
<div align="right">—Johnny</div>
| The phone would be about the size of one to five city blocks, and would melt its way through the Earth's crust. Conversely, the UNIVAC constructed with modern electrical components would be smaller than a grain of salt.
|
|{{book|2|36}}
|
|-
|
|'''Eat a Cloud'''
|''"Could a person eat a whole cloud?"''
<div align="right">—Tak</div>
|Not unless you can squeeze the air out first. If you don't you will burp out more cloud than you ate.
|
|{{book|2|38}}
|
|-
|
|'''Tall Sunsets'''
|''"Let's say that two people of different heights (159 cm and 206 cm) stand beside each other while looking at the sunset. How much longer will the taller person be able to see the sun than the shorter one?"''
<div align="right">—Rasmus Bunde Nielson</div>
|Over a second longer.
|
|{{book|2|39}}
|
|-
|
|'''Sisyphean Refrigerators'''
|''"Suppose everyone with a fridge or a freezer opened them at the same time, outdoors. Would that amount of cooling be able to noticeably change the temperature? If not, how many fridges would it take to lower the temperature, say, 5 degrees F? What about even lower?"''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Mittica</div>
|Refrigerators don't work like that, and would likely increase global temperatures by 0.3 degrees celsius. The infinite spite of Hades is surprisingly green.
|
|{{book|2|41}}
|
|-
|
|'''Basketball Earth'''
|''"You know how when you spin a basketball on your finger you hit the side to make it go faster and balance it? If a meteor passes close enough to the earth, can it make the Earth spin faster like your hand does the basketball?"''
<div align="right">—Zayne Freshley</div>
|Yes.
|
|{{book|2|43}}
|
|- 
|
|'''Inhale a Person'''
|''"If house dust comprises up to 80 percent dead skin, how many people worth of skin does a person consume/inhale in a lifetime?"''
<div align="right">—Greg</div>
|You could inhale at most 3 gallons of human skin in a lifetime, and dust is not mostly dead skin. Instead it is a cursed salad of soil, pollen, cotton fibers, crumbs, powdered sugar, glitter, pet hair and dander, plastic, soot, human or animal hair, flour, glass, smoke, mites, and various miscellaneous gunk.
|
|{{book|2|45}}
|
|-
|
|'''Candy Crush Lightning'''
|''"How many Wint-O-Green Life Savers would it take to create a life-size lightning bolt if you crushed them"''
<div align="right">—Violet M.</div>
|Billions
|
|{{book|2|46}}
|
|-
|rowspan="13"|
|rowspan="13"|'''Short Answers #4'''
|''"Can humans safely eat rabid creatures?"''
<div align="right">—Winston</div>
|No.
|rowspan="13"|
|rowspan="13"{{book|2|46.5}} (S4)
|rowspan="13"|
|-
|''"What if the Earth's core suddenly stopped producing heat?"''
<div align="right">—Laura</div>
|We would be mostly fine. While one may picture a scenario similar to ''The Core'', the difference would only be noticed long after you're gone, so you don't really need to worry about it :)
|-
|''"Could humanity, with our current technology, destroy the Moon?"''
<div align="right">—Tyler</div>
|No.
|-
|''"Can global warming cause the Earth's magnetic fields to weaken?"''
<div align="right">—Pavaki</div>
|No.
|-
|''"If you used a laser, would you be able to bake something?"''
<div align="right">—Andrew Liu</div>
|Yes.
|-
|''"What if Earth was sliced in half, like an apple? Where should you be such that you have the best chance of survival?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|You should be holding the object that's slicing the Earth.
|-
|''"What would happen if a person dropped into a pool full of jellyfish?"''
<div align="right">—Lorenzo Belotti</div>
|It depends on the species.
|-
|''"Would it be possible to make a house floor into a massive air hockey table, so you could move heavy furniture across the room?"''
<div align="right">—Jacob Wood</div>
|Yes, and now I know what my next home improvement project will be.
|-
|''"My 7-year-old son asked us over dinner recently at which point potatoes melt (I assume in a vacuum). Please advise."''
<div align="right">—Steffen</div>
|Potatoes don't really melt at any temperature. Also, do you automatically add 'in a vacuum' to anything your son says?
|-
|''"Would a pigeon be able to make it to space if it was not affected by gravity?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Evans</div>
|No. The air in the upper atmosphere is too thin to breathe and too cold
|-
|''"If you were flying blind through the Milky Way what would be the odds of hitting a star or planet?"''
<div align="right">—David</div>
|If you flew edge-on, it would be about 1 in 10 billion.
|-
|''"On various bodies in our Solar System (feel free to group any that are equivalent), roughly how long could you survive on the surface (for gas giants, assume you are on a magical platform at some point in the atmosphere that you could reasonably treat as the surface) with nothing but an infinite air supply and warm winter clothing? That is, no helmet, no pressure suit, just a nose-and-mouth air mask attached to a magic air generator, and clothing that would be suitable for, say, Chicago in winter. (No cute tricks like using the magic air supply to generate heat or whatever.)"''
<div align="right">—Melissa Trible</div>
|
*Earth: 100-ish years
*Venus: Weeks to months
*Everywhere else: Minutes to hours
Venus would be great if it weren't for the sulfuric acid.
|-
|''"What would happen if someone dropped an anvil on you from space?"''
<div align="right">—Sam Stiehl</div>
|About the same as if someone dropped an anvil on you from a building.
|-
|
|'''Toasty Warm'''
|''"What if I want to heat my house using toasters. How many do I need?"''
<div align="right">—Peter Ahlström</div>
|Not many, because the house would quickly catch on fire.
|
|{{book|2|47}}
|
|-
|
|'''Eyeball'''
|''"If I pulled out my eyeball and aimed it so that it was looking into my other eyeball, what would I see (assuming the nerves and veins remain undamaged)"''
<div align="right">—Lenka</div>
|You would see an eye superimposed with your head and the background of the room overlapping.
|
|{{book|2|49}}
|
|-
|
|'''Japan Runs an Errand'''
|''"If ALL of Japan's islands disappear, would it affect Earth's natural phenomena (plates, oceans, hurricanes, climate, and so on)?"''
<div align="right">—Miyu Uchida</div>
|Yes, it most certainly would. The sea of Japan would mix with the Pacific ocean now that the wall that separated them is gone. This would cause unpredictable changes to those currents, affecting many life forms who live in that area. Japan, though being small, weighs quite a lot, and the sudden removal of all that weight would cause massive shifts in ocean levels. Depending on the region, some sea levels would rise/fall by up to a foot, causing mass panic for cities that now have a sudden risk of flooding at a moment's notice. Tsunamis would devastate the Korean Peninsula, Hawaii, and the west coast of America.
|
|{{book|2|50}}
|
|-
|
|'''Read All the Laws'''
|''"If a person wanted to read all of the governing documents that apply to them—from the federal and state constitutions, treaties, agency-issued regulations, federal and state laws, local ordinances, etc.—how many pages would they have to read?"''
<div align="right">—Keith Yearman</div>
|Between 145000 and 12.3 million pages.
|
|{{book|2|52}}
|
|-
|rowspan="3"|
|rowspan="3"|'''Weird & Worrying #3'''
|colspan="2"|''"If I were to jump into a container of liquid nitrogen (or dispose of a body that way), how deep would it have to be for me/them to shatter into frozen pieces at the bottom?"''
<div align="right">—Stella Wohnig</div>
|rowspan="3"|
|rowspan="3"{{book|2|52.5}} (W3)
|rowspan="3"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"What would happen to you if a colony of ants suddenly appeared in you bloodstream all at once?"''
<div align="right">—Matt, on behalf of Declan</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If Harry Potter forgets where the invisible entrance to Platform 9¾ is, how long would he have to crash into walls randomly before discovering it?"''
<div align="right">—Max Planker</div>
|-
|
|'''Snowball'''
|''"What if I tried to roll a snowball from the top of Mount Everest? How big would the snowball be by the time it reached the bottom and how long would it take?"''
<div align="right">—Michaeline Yates</div>
|It would remain about the same size, or it could cause an avalanche. Since the peak of {{w|Mount Everest}} is above the clouds, it is very dry there. For a snowball to grow, wet snow is required. The result would be similar to rolling a hamburger down.
|
|{{book|2|54}}
|
|-
|
|'''Walking Backward in Time'''
|''"What if you decided to walk from Austin, Texas, to New York City, but every step takes you back thirty days?"''
<div align="right">—Jojo Yawson</div>
| The sky would flicker at 50 Hz, and you would arrive around 300,000 years in the past.
|
|{{book|2|56}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ammonia Tube'''
|''"What would happen if you fed ammonia into your stomach through a tube? How fast must the flow rate be to burn your stomach from the heat released? What would the newly created chlorine gas do to your stomach?"''
<div align="right">—Becca</div>
|{{w|Ammonia}} is an {{w|EPA list of extremely hazardous substances|extremely hazardous substance}} and pumping it into your abdomen would result in a painful death due to ammonia toxicity. However, at the very least, some of it would be neutralized with your stomach acid.
|
|{{book|2|57}}
|
|-
|rowspan="7"|
|rowspan="7"|'''Short Answers #5'''
|''"Could life evolve in a constantly running microwave?"''
<div align="right">—Abby Doth</div>
|No.
|rowspan="7"|
|rowspan="7"{{book|2|58.5}} (S5)
|rowspan="7"|
|-
|''"Tonight at my work as an ER nurse in the emergency room, a patient (high on methamphetamine) asked for a cup of water. I returned with a paper cup of water, which the patient promptly threw at my head, missing me but hitting the wall in such an improbable way that the open top of the cup impacted the wall and the cup contained/diminished most of the subsequent splatter. It occurred to me that it might be possible to throw a cup of water hard enough that the container of water would go through the wall. Is this possible?"''
<div align="right">—Pete</div>
|Anything will go through a wall if you throw it hard enough
|-
|''"How slow would you have to chew in order to be able to infinitely consume breadsticks?"''
<div align="right">—Miller Broughton</div>
|You would have to divide each breadstick into 20 bites, chewing each bite 200 times at 1 chew per second.
|-
|''"If you were somehow to remove the white and yolk from inside an eggshell (chicken), and replace them with helium, would the eggshell float in the air?"''
<div align="right">—Elizabeth</div>
|No. An eggshell weighs more than the air it displaces.
|-
|''"What would stars smell like, if it were possible to smell them?"''
<div align="right">—Finn Ellis</div>
|Due to the free hydrogen molecules floating around in there, it would taste incredibly sour. It would also smell like burning rubber, as stars are made up of the same components.
|-
|''"What is the average size for every man-made object on the planet?"''
<div align="right">—Max Carver</div>
|Not too big, not too small. About average.
|-
|''"E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E"''
<div align="right">—Nate Yu</div>
|I feel you, Nate.
|-
|
|'''Dog Overload'''
|''"Assuming 1 out of every 4 people has a 5-year-old dog, and the dog reproduces once every year, with 5 puppies, and the puppies start reproducing at 5 and stop at 15 and die at 20, how long would it take for the Earth to be flooded with puppies, assuming we have all the food, water, and oxygen to sustain them?"''
<div align="right">—Griffin</div>
|This is unrealistic right from the start. This assumes the total dog population is 2 billion, which is well above current estimates. A timeline of major events and milestones is listed below.
*After one year, there are enough dogs for everyone to have at least one.
*After 5 years, every human has an average of 6 or 7 dogs.
*After 11 years, Disney releases ''101 Dalmations per Capita'', after there are 101 dogs per person
*After 15 years, the first dogs die, but the death is fully insignificant.
*After 20 years, dogs would only be about 1 meter apart on average.
*After 25-30 years, the dogs begin to stack.
*At about 40 years, the exponential growth is "stable". The population is multiplying by about 1.6578 each year.
*After 65 years, the population of dogs reaches 1 mol
*After 110 years, the dogs start to undergo relativistic collapse
*After 150 years, the dogs are bigger than the solar system.
*After 197 years, the expansion of the dog sphere surpasses 1''c''
*After 200 years, the dogs reach sirius.
*After 250 years, the dogs envelop the milky way.
*After 330 years, the dogs reach the edge of the observable universe.
*After 417 years, Disney releases ''10<sup>101</sup> Dalmations.''
|
|{{book|2|60}}
|
|-
|
|'''Sunscreen'''
|''"Assuming that SPF works as it purports, what SPF would you need for a 1-hour trip to the surface of the sun?"''
<div align="right">—Brian and Max Parker</div>
|You would need SPF 3,200,000 or a giant blob of sunscreen. Despite its name, sunscreen only protects against some types of radiation from the Sun. No amount is going to be adequate protection if you are right inside the Sun. Also, sunscreen, being a gel, would evaporate when exposed to vacuum. When exposed to the plasma of the coronal surface or the Sun's interior, it would quickly ionize along with anything inside it, becoming plasma like the rest of the Sun.
|
|{{book|2|62}}
|
|-
|
|'''Walking on the Sun'''
|''"After the Sun runs out of fuel, it will become a white dwarf and slowly cool. When will it be cool enough to touch?"''
<div align="right">—Jabari Garland</div>
|The Sun will cool to room temperature in about 20 billion years. However, survival would not be an option.
|
|{{book|2|63}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lemon Drops and Gumdrops'''
|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
<div align="right">—Shuo Peskoe-Yang</div>
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die. Also, the oceans would be turned into saltwater taffy and most life would be destroyed by too much sugar.
|
|{{book|2|64}}
|
|-
|
|'''Bonus Chapter'''
|''"...but what if we tried even ''more'' power?"''
<div align="right">—Randall Munroe</div>
| This is a continuation of {{what if|13|13: Laser Pointer}}. Adding even more power than the end of that article would heat the air so much that the lasers would stop themselves long before reaching the Moon. Even if we managed to get them to hit the Moon, the plasma created would be so hot that it would stop anyway.
|
|{{book|3|70}}
|{{book|19|2024|12|03|jgafb8G7i4o|But what if we tried MORE power?}}
|-
|}<noinclude>

<span id="Editors"><big><big>'''Editors'''</big></big></span> ㅤ ''[[#Article index|(jump back to table)]]''

These templates are used in this table: {{tl|what if}}, {{tl|What If}}, {{tl|book}}, {{tl|blog}}.

<big>'''Add YouTube video'''</big>

<nowiki>{{book|YT-NUMBER|YYYY|MM|DD|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''<nowiki>HTTPS://LINK</nowiki>'''''</font>|VIDEO-TITLE}}
'''EXAMPLE:''' <nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''2022'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''12'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''31'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyNhb5Y'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''What if everyone pointed a laser at the moon?'''''</font>}}

<big>'''Add book chapter'''</big>

For the first [[What If? (book)|What If? book]]:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''1'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}

For the second [[What If? 2]] book:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}

'''EXAMPLE:'''<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''69'''''</font>}}

If an article is available exclusively on the third book ([[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition]]) and not in the first two, use this:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''3'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}
<big>'''Link to a ''what if?'' article'''</big>

On this wiki, an easy way to link to a given ''what if?'' article is by using the {{Template|what if}} template. Copy and paste the text below, correcting the number and title (highlighted in green) to get this result:

'''EXAMPLE:'''
See the <nowiki>''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen"><ins>'''''158'''''</ins></font>|<font color="SeaGreen"><ins>'''''Hot Banana'''''</ins></font>}}<nowiki>''</nowiki>.
'''RESULTS IN:'''
See the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|158|Hot Banana}}''.

NOTE: Since the blog releases are now random, please write a comment on [[{{LATESTCOMIC}}#Discussion|the newest comic's talk page]] to announce that a new ''what if?'' article is out.

<big>'''Add name of reader who asked the question.'''</big>

Here's how to add the name(s) to any question on the table. For example, this...
<nowiki>|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.</nowiki>
... becomes this:
<nowiki>|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
<div align="right"></nowiki>'''—'''<font color="SeaGreen">'''''InsertNamesHere'''''</font><nowiki></div>
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.</nowiki>
Copy the code and replace the green part! (NOTE: It uses the em-dash, not a normal hyphen, so don't replace the dash, or use <code>&mdash;</code>.) Transcribe it exactly as it is written on the website or book, including parenthesis and age, if given by Randall. '''Protip for desktop users:''' the text looks ALL CAPS on the site, but if you copy and paste it, it's in normal Sentence Case. You can simply copy and paste.

''[[#Article index|(jump back to table)]]''
<span id="bottom"></span>
{| style="border: 1px solid {{{border|gray}}}; background-color: {{{color|#fdffe7}}};"
|rowspan="2" style="vertical-align:middle;" | {{{{{|safesubst:}}}#ifeq:{{{2}}}|alt|[[File:What If Barnstar.jpeg|100px]]|[[File:What If Barnstar.jpeg|100px]]}}
|rowspan="2" |
|style="font-size: x-large; padding: 0; vertical-align: middle; height: 1.1em;" | '''The What If? Project Barnstar'''
|-
|style="vertical-align: middle; border-top: 1px solid gray;" | <div style="font-family: Cormorant Garamond"><span style="font-size:5pt;color:black">

* <span style="background-color:#9eff9e;"><span style="color:green; font-size:1.4em;">''' ✓'''</span><big> '''Added: '''</big></span> All ~140 book-exclusive articles, each color-coded by book; reader question and Randall's answer for almost all ~70 [[What If? 2]]-exclusive articles; EVERY YouTube video and its associated article; over new 130 thumbnails uploaded; new article from [[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition|the new book]] and the [[what if? (blog)#top|deleted article]].

* <span style="background-color:#9eff9e;"><span style="color:green; font-size:1.4em;">''' ✓'''</span><big> '''Changes: '''</big></span> Merged columns No., Release date, and Weeks since last release; every column now easily sortable; columns Blog, Book (new), and YouTube (new) now use {{template|blog}} and {{template|book}} and are color-coded; split ''Short-Answer Sections'' into different cells; title bold and question italics and quoted!

----

Great Job to everyone who helped out on this project! If you helped out explain the articles or build the table, feel free to sign here: '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:9pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:6pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 17:44, 14 February 2025 (UTC), [[User:WriterArtistCoder|WriterArtistCoder]]<sup>[[User talk:WriterArtistCoder|talk to me]]</sup> 21:56, 11 March 2025 (UTC), [[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 15:53, 12 March 2025 (UTC) --'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al |<span style="font-family:Atomic Age;font-size:12pt;color:red;">DollarStoreBa'al</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:DollarStoreBa'al |'''''Converse''''']]</sup>[[DSBContribs |'''''My life choices''''']] 23:30, 14 June 2025 (UTC)

[[Category:What If?| 9]]{{xkcdmeta}}

Talk:3100: Alert Sound

2025-06-09T23:35:23Z

Jordan Brown: This concept is at least 18 years old.

https://www.amazon.com/Funny-Pranks-Annoying-Noise-Maker/dp/B08KG6XHN1

The reviews are hilarious. [[Special:Contributions/47.248.235.170|47.248.235.170]] 21:35, 9 June 2025 (UTC)Pat
:Damn, someone beat me to it. If it didn't exist I was gonna make one and call it the "Randall 3100" aka "Black Hat 3100." [[Special:Contributions/70.115.234.146|70.115.234.146]] 23:14, 9 June 2025 (UTC)
:I think the original may be the Annoyatron, from Thinkgeek. I find references from 2007. [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 23:35, 9 June 2025 (UTC)

Talk:3087: Pascal's Law

2025-05-09T23:34:36Z

Jordan Brown: What about levers?

I remember learning about this and thinking it was intuitive, but I didn't really think of these consequences. Maybe everybody is making powerful lifting machines for lifting cars and houses with your bare hands, rather than explaining the article, that there isn't one yet. Pascal's law basically says that if you make one end of a container of fluid X times larger, then any force exerted on the small end is multiplied by X on the large end, so you can make it near-infinite by making the small end very small. But you'll need a little more machinery added (like a gear system) if you want the distance actually moved to be higher. Actually I think that might undo the gains in force entirely. That might be how it happens, it might swap distance for force so the same work is performed.

Hey, remember that comic where Randal challenged people to fold a paper too small? This hand-makeable device could get farther on that!
[[Special:Contributions/172.70.111.110|172.70.111.110]] 21:46, 9 May 2025 (UTC)

As someone old enough to remember the [https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slashdot_effect slashdot effect], I wonder if XKCD comics generate a similar effect on search engines. Though I doubt they would buckle under the weight these days. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.60.148|172.69.60.148]] 22:00, 9 May 2025 (UTC)

To whoever wrote the initial transcript, remember that we don't include the title text. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 22:06, 9 May 2025 (UTC)

I have to wonder whether he has the same disbelief of, say, levers... which allow one to move the Earth. [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 23:34, 9 May 2025 (UTC)

Talk:3040: Chemical Formulas

2025-01-21T04:27:31Z

Jordan Brown: BORON et cetera

I believe the diagram on the left incorrectly shows a double-bond between the carbon and the OH pair. -- [[User:Dtgriscom|Dtgriscom]] ([[User talk:Dtgriscom|talk]]) 03:13, 21 January 2025 (UTC)

:: ''"incorrectly shows a double-bond"'' This may be more correct (there are many ways to draw it):
:: https://www.shutterstock.com/image-vector/formic-acid-molecule-structure-260nw-1359283460.jpg [[User:PRR|PRR]] ([[User talk:PRR|talk]]) 03:42, 21 January 2025 (UTC)
:::what’s a double bond? '''[[User:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:9pt;color:#A9C6CA">42.book.addict</span>]]<sup>[[User talk:42.book.addict|<span style="font-family:Cormorant Garamond;font-size:6pt;color:#516874">Talk to me!</span>]]</sup>''' 04:25, 21 January 2025 (UTC)

Similar to 2492 [[User:Chakra|Chakra]] ([[User talk:Chakra|talk]]) 03:18, 21 January 2025 (UTC)

My favorite hydrocarbons are C6H6 (Bouba) and C5H12 (Kiki) [[Special:Contributions/172.69.70.105|172.69.70.105]] 03:21, 21 January 2025 (UTC)

I assume 'Nackle' is NaCl (Sodium Chloride, aka salt) [[User:Pvnic|Pvnic]] ([[User talk:Pvnic|talk]]) 03:30, 21 January 2025 (UTC)

And in the meta-humor department, the explanation message "Created by a BORON-OXYGEN-TANTALUM-URANIUM-TITANIUM-MOLYBDENUM-TITANIUM-CARBON-ALUMINUM-LITHIUM" abbreviates to "B O Ta U Ti Mo Ti C Al Li", or "BOT aUTiMoTiCaLLi". [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 04:27, 21 January 2025 (UTC)

Talk:3015: D&D Combinatorics

2024-11-23T03:26:05Z

Jordan Brown: fix signature

The bot originally created this page as “D Combinatorics”. I renamed it to the correct title and tried to get as many of the references as possible (including a few redirects). [[User:JBYoshi|JBYoshi]] ([[User talk:JBYoshi|talk]]) 00:54, 23 November 2024 (UTC)

:The title in the Atom feed (which I'm assuming the bot consumes) is "D Combinatorics". I'm guessing something in Randall's pipeline didn't like the ampersand. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.154.160|162.158.154.160]] 01:41, 23 November 2024 (UTC)

:By raw combinatorics: 71 + 52 + 34 + 20 + 10 + 4 + 1 ways to get each of 16 - 22 respectively, for a total of 192, out of 4(6^3) = 864 total. 192/864 simplifies to exactly 2/9. I have no idea how Randall found this; if anyone has an idea, please let me know. [[User:Kaisheng21|Kaisheng21]] ([[User talk:Kaisheng21|talk]]) 01:33, 23 November 2024 (UTC)

It seems like we edited the transcript at the same time. The odds of rolling 16 or higher in this situation seem to be 2/9? [[User:Darkmatterisntsquirrels|Darkmatterisntsquirrels]] ([[User talk:Darkmatterisntsquirrels|talk]]) 01:29, 23 November 2024 (UTC)

: There are 864 possible rolls (6 * 6 * 6 * 4). If you enumerate all of the rolls you will find that 192 are 16 or higher. 192/864 = 2/9, the value from the explanation. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.54.139|172.68.54.139]] 01:41, 23 November 2024 (UTC)

A much simpler approach: Roll two six sided dice and sum the result. You are successful if the result is 5 or 9. That happens 8 times out of 36. 8/36 = 2/9. (Or successful if the sum is 4 or 6, or 2 or 7, or 2,3,4 or 11, or several other combinations.) [[Special:Contributions/172.68.54.139|172.68.54.139]] 01:41, 23 November 2024 (UTC)
:Clever, but dice rolls in D&D involving summing all the dice, applying modifiers, if any, and then comparing to one or more threshold values. Your method makes it very difficult to apply modifiers. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.41.8|162.158.41.8]] 02:49, 23 November 2024 (UTC)

Minor quibble, arrows aren't fired (unless they're flaming or self-propelled, perhaps), they are shot. (Shotguns are fired of course.) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.41.73|162.158.41.73]] 02:52, 23 November 2024 (UTC)

Rolling 22 or lower on percentile dice (or, equivalently, 79 or higher) is close enough, and easier to come up with. (Give or take whether 00 is treated as 100 or zero.) Or directly represent the action: roll a d10. If it's 1-5, you lose. If it's 6-10, roll again; if it's 1-5 you lose, 6-9 you win, 10 roll again. (Modify slightly if you want to distinguish the case of grabbing *two* cursed arrows.) [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 03:26, 23 November 2024 (UTC)

Talk:2988: Maslow's Pyramid

2024-09-21T00:29:47Z

Jordan Brown: plus more

Oh wow, first post! {{unsigned|RadiantRainwing}}

The 20% figure is incorrect. The lower levels of the pyramid have more volume than the upper levels. By my arithmetic, the breakdown is (rounded) 1%, 6%, 15%, 30%, and 49%, so the "safety" level provides 30% of his needs. [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 00:27, 21 September 2024 (UTC)
:Plus the bottom layer ought to get partial credit for supplying basic shelter. [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 00:29, 21 September 2024 (UTC)

Talk:2988: Maslow's Pyramid

2024-09-21T00:27:33Z

Jordan Brown: Volume

Talk:2946: 1.2 Kilofives

2024-06-15T05:00:32Z

Jordan Brown: a couple of challenge answers

Challenge: Come up with a way like this to say the comic number #2946. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 03:00, 15 June 2024 (UTC)
:How about 4.91 hectosixes? [[Special:Contributions/172.69.33.190|172.69.33.190]] 04:19, 15 June 2024 (UTC)
:A kibitwo, four decascore, four score, and eighteen. Two octooctotwentythrees, and two. A gross-score, three score, and 6. [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 05:00, 15 June 2024 (UTC)

2888: US Survey Foot

2024-01-31T17:34:21Z

Jordan Brown: /* Explanation */ Capitalization

{{comic
| number = 2888
| date = January 31, 2024
| title = US Survey Foot
| image = us_survey_foot_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x606px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Subway refuses to answer my questions about whether it's an International Footlong or a US Survey Footlong. A milligram of sandwich is at stake!
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a 610 NANOMETER BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic pokes fun at a difference in length of the {{w|Foot_(unit)#U.S._survey_foot|US Survey Foot}} and the {{w|Foot_(unit)|International Foot}}. After {{w|International_yard_and_pound|an international agreement}} in 1959, the foot has been defined to be exactly 0.3048 metres, whilst the US survey foot is defined as 1200/3937 meters and is a bit longer than the international foot. However, the difference between the two is too small for short distances, as they only differ by 2 parts per million. In the fourth panel, Cueball says that [[Black Hat]] is drawing the world 610nm closer to madness, which is about the difference between the two measures. Cueball, outraged, then decides to capture Black Hat to stop him from using the US survey foot. The joke here is that his coordinates show that he is 8000 miles away, but since he is using the US survey foot, he is 0.016 miles away from the search team, making the search team unable to find him.

Note - 0.016 miles is about 28.16 yards, or 25.749 meters.

Randall is playing a bit fast-and-loose here. To make this joke work implies a rather absurd situation: that both Black Hat and the searchers would need to have set their devices to measure location ''in reference to'' NIST headquarters and not just use GPS and lat/long. That's where we get the 8,000 miles from to make the joke. So even in the unlikely event that the searchers' phones measure location like this because they're from NIST, it's very unlikely that Black Hat would override his device's in-built GPS to report its location in reference to NIST headquarters -- unless he knew that NIST searchers also did this and knew they wouldn't find it suspicious for him to do it too.

The title text references a {{w|Subway_(restaurant)#Sandwich_size|2013 lawsuit}} over the length of a "Footlong" sandwich sold by Subway fast food chain. However - in contrast to the issue at stake in that lawsuit - the difference in length between an 'international footlong' sandwich and a 'US survey footlong' sandwich is way below the precision that sandwiches are usually produced - making it understandable that Subway would not think it necessary to clarify which definition of 'foot' they use for their products.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Closeup on Cueball.]
:Cueball: We thought it was over. After 60 years of struggle, the US survey foot was dead, deprecated by NIST in 2023.

:[Cueball is shown to be talking to Ponytail, Hairy, and Megan. He has a presentation behind him.]
:Cueball: We thought architects and engineers could rest east, free of the headaches of having two conflicting definitions of the foot that differ by 610 nanometers.
:International foot: 0.304 800 000 m
:US survey foot [crossed over in gray] <span style="color:gray">R.I.P.</span>: 0.304 800 609... m

:[Cueball points at an image of Black Hat]
:Cueball: But I bring dire news:
:Cueball: ''Someone has started using the US survey foot again.''

:[Closeup on Cueball again.]
:Off-panel voice: Why!?
:Cueball: We don't know.
:Cueball: Some people just want to drag the world 610nm closer to madness.

:[Farther view of Cueball only. He clenches a fist.]
:Off-panel voice: What can we do!?
:Cueball: A NIST team is already in the air. We will capture the scofflaw and end this nightmare.

:[Two helicopters flying, with mountains in the background.]

:Caption: 8,000 miles away
:[Two operatives in a forest with "NIST" helmets. One talks on a walkie-talkie.]
:Operative: We've reached the coordinates of the target's device. There's no one here.
:Voice from walkie-talkie: How!?

:Caption: 8,000.016 miles away
:[Black Hat walking elsewhere in the forest, very close by.]
:Black Hat: ♫ ♪

==Trivia==

The number of miles on the comic was originally 8,000.014, but was changed to 8,000.016.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Characters with hats]]
[[Category:Geography]]

Talk:2888: US Survey Foot

2024-01-31T17:32:37Z

Jordan Brown: Somebody else reported it first, no need to report it twice.

Talk:2888: US Survey Foot

2024-01-31T17:31:48Z

Jordan Brown: /* How far away? */ new section

Breaking news- the comic just got changed to 8,000.016[[User:TenGolf MathHacker|TenGolf MathHacker]] ([[User talk:TenGolf MathHacker|talk]]) 17:28, 31 January 2024 (UTC)

== How far away? ==

The comic currently at https://xkcd.com/2888/ and https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/us_survey_foot.png has Black Hat's distance as 8,000.016 miles, not 8,000.014 miles. That's over a ten-foot difference. [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 17:31, 31 January 2024 (UTC)

Talk:2841: Sign Combo

2023-10-14T03:21:21Z

Jordan Brown: Don't be so two-dimensional!

Theoretically you can get around this limitation by turning off the road before the sign and doing whatever maneuvers you need to out in the wide open area to the right or left of the road. It's not a U-turn if you're not on the road, and you didn't enter a restricted part of a road either, and didn't stop on the road. After which you calmly make a turn onto the road when traffic is clear. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.207|108.162.245.207]] 02:34, 14 October 2023 (UTC)

So does making a three point turn count as a u-turn? [[Special:Contributions/172.69.58.66|172.69.58.66]] 02:40, 14 October 2023 (UTC)
Wouldn't putting it in reverse stop you briefly as you switched from forward acceleration to reverse?

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immelmann_turn Immelmann!] [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stall_turn Hammerhead!] [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuban_eight Half Cuban Eight!] [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 03:21, 14 October 2023 (UTC)

Talk:1475: Technically

2023-10-14T03:14:56Z

Jordan Brown: Flag napkins are illegal only in Washington, DC

Technically, it's poor form and rude to ignore someone based on *Clicks Random page* [[User:Xseo|Xseo]] ([[User talk:Xseo|talk]]) 13:45, 19 January 2015 (UTC)

It's also possible that Cueball is purposefully inviting another "technically" sentence by stating he's looking at a bug, since it's unlikely he's looking at a member of the order Hemiptera. 14:21, 19 January 2015 (UTC)

Well, it seems that White hat is responding to being asked if he is taking drugs, and technically, any food item that is consumed only for its taste or other effect on the body and mind, such as chocolate, could be argued to be a drug by a combination of both definitions given in the explanation. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.254.85|108.162.254.85]] 17:39, 19 January 2015 (UTC)

Along the same lines as the "bug" statement, does "a rock with a fossil in it" invite any sort of technical correction? I wouldn't know, personally, but there might be some people out there who would argue that since the fossil was a rock, or some other quibble about the phrase? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.238.192|108.162.238.192]] 20:19, 19 January 2015 (UTC)
:At that point, I'd say we're drastically overthinking this. Rocks are not in and of themselves fossils, but they are the most common substance in which fossils are found. (And anyway, most of the discussion about refining that definition would probably include several sentences starting with "technically", which I'd immediately ignore. ;)) [[User:KieferSkunk|KieferSkunk]] ([[User talk:KieferSkunk|talk]]) 21:56, 19 January 2015 (UTC)

Even though the comic doesn't state this specifically, I wonder if this one goes under his "My Hobby" series. It certainly seems to be in the same spirit. [[User:KieferSkunk|KieferSkunk]] ([[User talk:KieferSkunk|talk]]) 21:57, 19 January 2015 (UTC)
:If it's not labeled "My Hobby", it doesn't belong in that series. There are similarities, but they aren't exactly the same, and it's not labeled as part of the "My Hobby" series. [[User:NealCruco|NealCruco]] ([[User talk:NealCruco|talk]]) 03:30, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
::I think it's rather an opposing behavior. In "My Hobby" it is usually Cueball driving others nuts, here he ignores someone else who is trying to drive him nuts. --[[Special:Contributions/141.101.105.217|141.101.105.217]] 06:53, 28 January 2015 (UTC)
techically,you can make a fruit salad with only tomatoes and cucumbers [[User:Sci0927|Sci0927]] ([[User talk:Sci0927|talk]]) 15:23, 15 February 2022 (UTC)

Please explain what is meant by "third type" and "fourth type" in the current comic description [[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.157|173.245.54.157]] 22:59, 19 January 2015 (UTC)
:It referred to a chart (now deleted) giving the "types" of sentences beginning with "technically". I have replaced this with the definition originally in the chart.--[[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.169|108.162.216.169]] 23:24, 19 January 2015 (UTC)
::Just my opinion, but I think that the table with four "types" originally made by [[User:Pudder|Pudder]] was pretty good and educating, maybe we should restore it.[[User:Nyq|Nyq]] ([[User talk:Nyq|talk]]) 17:05, 20 January 2015 (UTC)
:::I agree. The deleting editor just said it was unnecessary, without any application as to why. I think it's perfectly okay to give people a quick overview of whatever the comic's topic is. The chart improves the article, so I've decided to be bold and restore it. If anyone has objections, bring them up here. [[User:NealCruco|NealCruco]] ([[User talk:NealCruco|talk]]) 17:28, 20 January 2015 (UTC)
::::Fully support the restoration and the reasoning for it! [[User:Nyq|Nyq]] ([[User talk:Nyq|talk]]) 19:48, 20 January 2015 (UTC)

Maybe related to comic 1240? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.238.191|108.162.238.191]] 00:29, 20 January 2015 (UTC)

It seems highly likely that, as per previous comments, both the bug and fossil inclusions are not just purely distractions, but references to items that would commonly invoke pedantic 'technical corrections'. I suggest it is worth including in the explanation [[Special:Contributions/108.162.249.211|108.162.249.211]] 02:32, 20 January 2015 (UTC)
:I agree on the bug which has already been mentioned. Have included that. But I do not know ennough about fossils to see why the sentence from the title text could be corrected. You domhave fossils in rocks? --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 20:39, 20 January 2015 (UTC)
::Technically, rocks aren't fossils, but rather they CONTAIN foss-- oh, you're not listening to me anymore. Nevermind. :) [[User:KieferSkunk|KieferSkunk]] ([[User talk:KieferSkunk|talk]]) 22:01, 20 January 2015 (UTC)

Technically, does it make a difference if there is a comma behind the word technically? (see examples) I never really understood English punctuation rules ... --[[Special:Contributions/141.101.105.217|141.101.105.217]] 06:53, 28 January 2015 (UTC)
:Hey, look at this cool tree! --[[Special:Contributions/172.69.248.148|172.69.248.148]] 23:29, 14 January 2021 (UTC)

His sentence didn't start with "Technically"; it started with "Well". Does not compute.[[User:DouglasHeld|DouglasHeld]] ([[User talk:DouglasHeld|talk]]) 21:34, 28 January 2015 (UTC)

: "The title text starts to pedantically over-apply Cueball's rule to the comic panel, noting that technically White Hat's sentence started with the word 'well' instead of the word 'technically', and thus Cueball is wrong to have ignored it." Part of the joke is that there are a certain type of people who will pick apart every little detail of a statement or rule, and apply its 'technical' interpretation, rather than the spirit of rule. --[[User:Pudder|Pudder]] ([[User talk:Pudder|talk]]) 22:04, 28 January 2015 (UTC)

"Whales are not fish" is a very poor example: it's not a technicality, but a very major and quite obvious difference. At least where I live, most people are aware of this, except for very small children or *extremely* uneducated persons. The other examples ("Peanuts are not nuts" and "Tomatoes are fruit") are *way* more appropriate. --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.231.55|108.162.231.55]] 00:48, 1 February 2015 (UTC)

:I would disagree that its a poor example, and I would wager that the majority of people couldn't give the basic definition of a mammal. Whales and fish both swim in the sea, both look alike (albeit on different scales), and are markedly similar in other ways. I know that whales are mammals rather than fish, but I couldn't explain all the differences. I certainly wouldn't call someone extremely uneducated if they thought whales were fish, as to me it is a fairly logical conclusion to come to. --[[User:Pudder|Pudder]] ([[User talk:Pudder|talk]]) 17:21, 3 February 2015 (UTC)

::Actually, the non-technical definition of "fish" is that it swims in water, does not walk on land, and breaths water. And any modern third grader knows that whales breath air, despite fitting the other criteria. Anonymous 20:16, 10 March 2015 (UTC)

::: "Actually" is another zero-content indicator... --[[Special:Contributions/108.162.237.226|108.162.237.226]] 04:54, 30 January 2017 (UTC)

:::Zoology major here: many fishes breathe air (armored catfishes, gouramis and paradise fishes, and [of course] lungfishes, to name three groups). Now ''technically'', if you use cladistic taxonomy, the fishes must include reptiles, which in turn includes the birds and mammals, but you didn't read this far. [[User:Nitpicking|Nitpicking]] ([[User talk:Nitpicking|talk]]) 03:36, 24 June 2023 (UTC)

Oh my gosh, a Sandra Boynton reference! Those are rare (aardvark quote is from her book Philadelphia Chickens) :)

Technically, the comment about American flag napkins is correct only in Washington, D.C. [https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/4/3 4 USC 3] '''prohibits''' flag napkins in DC as a misdemeanor. [https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/4/8 4 USC 8] '''discourages''' flag napkins but does not criminalize them. (At least based on the law cited by the article, [https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/4/chapter-1 4 USC Chapter 1]. State or local laws or other sections of the USC might say more.) [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 03:14, 14 October 2023 (UTC)

2818: Circuit Symbols

2023-08-22T02:32:52Z

Jordan Brown: rm inappropriate line break/* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2818
| date = August 21, 2023
| title = Circuit Symbols
| image = circuit_symbols_2x.png
| imagesize = 438x362px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = A circle with an A in it means that the circuit has committed a sin and has been marked as punishment.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a REALLY COOL SHEEP DIODE - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
{| class="wikitable"
! Symbol !! Comic Description !! Comments
|-
| Switch
| Drawbridge
| The symbol represents a physical on/off switch in a circuit, but also resembles a medieval drawbridge.
|-
| Capacitor
| Overpass
| A capacitor is a component that can be used to hold electric charge, but also looks a bit like the map symbol for a highway overpass.
|-
| Ground
| Pogo Stick
| This symbol represents a connection to "ground" (aka earth for folks in the UK). If you squint, it also looks like a pogo stick
|-
| Inductor
| Sheep
| An inductor is a component that can be used to hold electric current, but is also very curly
|-
| Transformer
| Two sheep in love, trapped on opposite side of a fence.
| The input and output looks on a transform are represented as curly loops, which Randal claims resemble sheep, and the straight line (which represents the core) is a fence.
|-
| Battery
| Battery
| No joke, that's the symbol for a battery
|-
| None
| Baertty
| Randall seems to be mapping the vowels and 't's to the inner lines in the symbol, and asserting that if you sort them long long, short short, you need to put the vowels in the front and the 't's in the back.
|-
| Really None
| Batttttttttttery
| Or, you know, you could just throw in a ton of 't's.
|-
| Photodiode
| Check out this really cool diode
| A photodiode generates current in response to light (the arrows pointing at it.) Randall is instead pretending that the arrows are pointing at it because it's really cool.
|-
| Oscillator
| Wave Pool
| An oscillator generates signals at a given frequencies. A wave pool, it could be argued, is in fact a type of oscillator, just with water instead of electricity
|-
| Transistor
| Trolly Problem
| A transistor will switch on a current flow depending on the input from a input signal. Thus, it switches electricity in the same way that the trolly problem switches the trolly. The symbol also somewhat resembles the usual pictorial depiction of the problem.
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
picture of drawbridge:drawbridge

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Engineering]]
[[Category:Charts]]

Talk:2774: Taxiing

2023-05-10T22:51:25Z

Jordan Brown: TV plot: hack their GPS

I don't understand why you would buy Detour signs, when you can often so easily pick them up for free from the side of a road... :P [[Special:Contributions/172.70.86.32|172.70.86.32]] 20:35, 10 May 2023 (UTC)
:I don't understand why you'd take detour signs for free, when people can pay you to watch you steal flatbed trucks. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.178.191|172.70.178.191]] 20:37, 10 May 2023 (UTC)

But would an airplane even fit on a truck? Or on a treadmill for that matter? [[Special:Contributions/172.71.182.47|172.71.182.47]] 21:11, 10 May 2023 (UTC)

On TV, you don't even need detour signs. Just hack their GPS for free. [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 22:51, 10 May 2023 (UTC)

2772: Commemorative Plaque

2023-05-06T00:29:37Z

Jordan Brown: "title text" -> "hover text" /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2772
| date = May 5, 2023
| title = Commemorative Plaque
| image = commemorative_plaque_2x.png
| imagesize = 422x282px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = [Below] On this site on May 12th, 2023, I finally learned how to use the masonry bit for my drill.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a MASONRY BIT DONE BY DRIL - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
Our narrator discovered that it is easy and inexpensive to have a commemorative plaque made, and so had a commemorative plaque made to record that event. The hover text tells us that it then took a week, perhaps including delivery time, to figure out how to use a masonry bit to mount the plaque, and of course that was an event itself worthy of a plaque.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
A brick wall with a plaque on it.
Plaque: On this site on May 5th, 2023, I realized that you could order custom commemorative plaques online that say whatever you want and it's not that expensive
{{comic discussion}}

2772: Commemorative Plaque

2023-05-06T00:28:51Z

Jordan Brown: Initial explanation /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2772
| date = May 5, 2023
| title = Commemorative Plaque
| image = commemorative_plaque_2x.png
| imagesize = 422x282px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = [Below] On this site on May 12th, 2023, I finally learned how to use the masonry bit for my drill.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a MASONRY BIT DONE BY DRIL - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
Our narrator discovered that it is easy and inexpensive to have a commemorative plaque made, and so had a commemorative plaque made to record that event. The title text tells us that it then took a week, perhaps including delivery time, to figure out how to use a masonry bit to mount the plaque, and of course that was an event itself worthy of a plaque.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
A brick wall with a plaque on it.
Plaque: On this site on May 5th, 2023, I realized that you could order custom commemorative plaques online that say whatever you want and it's not that expensive
{{comic discussion}}

Talk:2772: Commemorative Plaque

2023-05-06T00:25:18Z

Jordan Brown: How many does he get?

Any bets on how many copies of this plaque people send him? [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 00:25, 6 May 2023 (UTC)

2761: 1-to-1 Scale

2023-04-11T20:04:09Z

Jordan Brown: /* Explanation */ typo

{{comic
| number = 2761
| date = April 10, 2023
| title = 1-to-1 Scale
| image = 1_to_1_scale_2x.png
| imagesize = 444x281px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = There's a version that shows the planets with no cropping, but it's hard to find a display that supports it.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DISPLAY THAT SUPPORTS THE PLANETS WITH NO CROPPING - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic supposedly shows what each planet would look like at 1:1 scale, which would mean at real size. However, because a minuscule portion of each planet is visible on the page at that scale, it becomes comically useless at distinguishing the size or relative size of each planet, and each planet is just a differently textured straight line. To understand the diagram, imagine you are sitting a tremendous distance away from the solar system, and you have a camera with an extremely supremely highly zooming telephoto lens. Then all eight planets happen to line up. You manage to snap this incredible image of a teeny tiny spot of the sky, which simultaneously manages to include the very edges of all the planets as well as some of the space behind them all. Space is the black polygon in the center. The reason why each planet is so smooth is because it's such a small area: you're only seeing a couple of square inches of the surface of each of the planets.

The title text remarks that it is hard to find a display that supports a version of the image without cropping. This is because a true 1:1 scale image showing each of the planets would be ridiculously large[https://solarsystem.nasa.gov/news/1164/how-big-is-the-solar-system/], larger than any monitor or display currently available on Earth (since it would be much larger than Earth, in fact it would would have to be larger than Jupiter, to depict 1:1).

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|The main panel itself is missing explanation. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[A frame with a central area of black 'space', bounded at various intersecting angles by eight 'straight lines' representing planetary surfaces, originating from various out-of-frame angles of 'down' and the white of some bodies obscuring some part of the others.]
:[There are labels indicating which line represents each planet.]
:[The four gas-giants' lines are simply drawn, near straight and featureless.]
:[The lines for the rocky inner-planets have variations to them, stereotypical of some part of their surface.]
:[The "Earth" line ('down' being out the top of the frame) has a profile indicating various small-scale vegetation and also features the white sillouette of an ant that may be of a realistic size for your display.]
:[Caption below the panel:]
:The solar system's planets at 1:1 scale

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category: Space]]
[[Category:Comics_with_inverted_brightness]]

Talk:2733: Size Comparisons

2023-02-04T06:46:47Z

Jordan Brown:

But Texas isn't even the largest US State. It's the ''second'' largest state, behind Alaska. Mind you, if you took Alaska and divided it into two then Texas would no longer be in second place... It would now be third! [[Special:Contributions/172.71.242.203|172.71.242.203]] 02:11, 4 February 2023 (UTC)

I started an explanation. My first, so I hope it's OK. Notice how I resisted [Citation needed]. [[User:Nitpicking|Nitpicking]] ([[User talk:Nitpicking|talk]]) 03:20, 4 February 2023 (UTC)

:... and ninjaed. [[User:Nitpicking|Nitpicking]] ([[User talk:Nitpicking|talk]]) 03:21, 4 February 2023 (UTC)

Fixed the beginning, now it says Texas is the second-largest state. [[User:WhatDoWeDoNow|WhatDoWeDoNow]] ([[User talk:WhatDoWeDoNow|talk]]) 03:29, 4 February 2023 (UTC)
:Alaska isn't usually considered part of the "contiguous US", so Texas is indeed first there. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 03:39, 4 February 2023 (UTC)

Note that if you scale Rhode Island up to the size of the Solar System, the ants would be even larger. [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 06:46, 4 February 2023 (UTC)

Talk:2403: Wrapping Paper

2023-01-19T20:31:53Z

Jordan Brown: the headphones would not be a regift

Merry Christmas{{unsigned|bubblegum}}

I was reminded of the old http://bjornsmaths.blogspot.com/2005/11/how-to-catch-lion-in-sahara-desert.html

The method of inverse geometry: We place a spherical cage in the desert and enter it. We then perform an inverse operation with respect to the cage. The lion is then inside the cage and we are outside.
[[User:Bmwiedemann|Bmwiedemann]] ([[User talk:Bmwiedemann|talk]]) 02:41, 26 December 2020 (UTC)

:An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are shown a pasture with a herd of sheep, and told to put them inside the smallest possible amount of fence.
:The engineer is first. He herds the sheep into a circle and then puts the fence around them, declaring, "A circle will use the least fence for a given area, so this is the best solution."
:The physicist is next. He creates a circular fence of infinite radius around the sheep, and then draws the fence tight around the herd, declaring, "This will give the smallest circular fence around the herd."
:The mathematician is last. After giving the problem a little thought, he puts a small fence around himself and then declares, "I define myself to be on the outside."
: (for example [https://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/susan/joke/3.htm here]) -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 05:05, 26 December 2020 (UTC)

Note: In some countries, presents are opened already on Christmas Eve.
[[User:Svízel přítula|Svízel přítula]] ([[User talk:Svízel přítula|talk]]) 08:04, 26 December 2020 (UTC)

Sorry but this immediately brings Jevil (Deltarune) to mind. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.198|108.162.216.198]] 09:17, 27 December 2020 (UTC)

Maybe we could make Klein bottle-shaped wrapping paper, it can: (1) let everything in the universe be the gift, including what is inside (well, I know it's unreasonable to say something is “inside” a Klein bottle) the gift box; (2) reduce the cost of printing to zero. [[User:Lamda05|Lamda05]] ([[User talk:Lamda05|talk]]) 05:35, 28 December 2020 (UTC)

"Wow, rude of you to regift literally every gift that you or anyone else has ever received." - except, perhaps, the headphones. [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 20:31, 19 January 2023 (UTC)

== My hobby ==

Prank Randall by selling him wrapping paper that is printed on both sides so he can't turn it inside out
[[Special:Contributions/172.69.33.220|172.69.33.220]] 02:46, 26 December 2020 (UTC)

1864: City Nicknames

2022-06-13T18:50:44Z

Jordan Brown: typo/* Nicknames and Demonyms */

{{comic
| number = 1864
| date = July 17, 2017
| title = City Nicknames
| image = city_nicknames.png
| titletext = This place has so many demonyms. Northlanders. Fair Folk. Honey Barons. Lake Dwellers. Treasurers. Swamp Watchers. Dream Farmers. Wellfolk. Rockeaters. Forgotten Royals. Remote Clients. Barrow-Clerks. The People of Land and Sky.
}}

==Explanation==

Cities often have official or unofficial nicknames. For instance, {{w|St. Louis|St. Louis, Missouri}}, is known as "Gateway to the West" among several other nicknames. The nicknames typically invoke some historical or geographic feature of the city, but can sometime be opaque to those not familiar with the city. [https://www.into-asia.com/bangkok/introduction/fullname.php The full, formal name of Bangkok] includes a long list of superlatives translating as "The city of angels, the great city, the residence of the Emerald Buddha, the impregnable city (of Ayutthaya) of God Indra, the grand capital of the world endowed with nine precious gems, the happy city, abounding in an enormous Royal Palace that resembles the heavenly abode where reigns the reincarnated god, a city given by Indra and built by Vishnukarn."

Despite the skyline being clearly recognizable as St. Louis due to the {{w|Gateway Arch}}, [[Black Hat]] calls it {{w|New York City}}. However, the nickname he gives is neither a common New York nickname (such as "{{w|List of nicknames of New York City|The Big Apple}}") nor a St. Louis nickname. [[Megan]] tries to correct him, but it becomes clear that Black Hat is making up nicknames. Many of his suggestions are puns for real nicknames of other places.

The title text contains made up {{w|demonym}}s in the same pattern. A demonym is a word for the people who live in a particular place. They are typically derived from the name of the place (e.g. "St. Louisan" for people from St. Louis, or New Yorker for those from New York), but some regions have an {{w|Demonym#Informal|informal demonym}} that can be used colloquially by those familiar with the place to refer to its residents (e.g. Hoosier for people from Indiana).

===Nicknames and Demonyms===

{| class=wikitable
! City nickname in comic
! Reference
! Explanation

|-
| The Hot Tamale
| {{w|Hot Tamales}}
| Possibly a reference to the term [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=big%20enchilada big enchilada] (something of great importance). In the movie <i>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Independence_Day_(1996_film) Independence Day]</i>, the phrase "Big Tamale" is used in a similar manner as "Big Enchilada" to describe the alien fighter held at Area 51.

|-
| The Winged City
| The Windy City
| Chicago. Possibly also [http://www.airport-technology.com/projects/incheon-international-airport/ Incheon International Airport (ICA/RKSI), South Korea].

|-
| The Gold Trombone
|
| Possibly a reference to the {{w|Golden Horn}} in Istanbul.

|-
| Castleopolis
| {{w|Cassopolis}}, or possibly Dictionopolis.
| Literally "Castle city." {{w|Polis}} (from the Greek πόλις for city) is commonly used as a suffix for city names, like {{w|Minneapolis}} or {{w|Alexandroupolis}}; {{w|Metropolis}} can either be a type of city, or one of the real or fictional cities bearing the name. Possibly a reference to The Phantom Tollbooth, which has both castles and cities named Dictionopolis and Digitopolis. In the Industrial Revolution, places known for certain industries had nicknames such as {{w|Cottonopolis}} ({{w|Manchester}}), Copperopolis ({{w|Swansea}}) and Juteopolis ({{w|Dundee}}). Could also be a city in {{w|Castlevania}}.

|-
| The Kissing Kingdom
| {{w|United Kingdom}}
| This would make a ''Very'' United Kingdom.

|-
| Sandland
|
| {{w|Sandland}} is a village in northern Norway, most likely coincidentally.

|-
| The High Place
| {{w|Denver}}
|Denver is known as the Mile High City. Also, in English translations of the Old Testament, the Hebrew term במה (bamah, plural במות bamot) is rendered as "{{w|high place}}," and denotes a place of worship. In modern Jewish synagogues, the "High Place" (bimah) is the elevated platform from which the Torah is read. In Gene Wolfe's ''Free Live Free'', one character claims to come from the "High Place". The others consider this a metaphor, or simply a lie. Eventually this is discovered not to be the case. It could also a reference to {{w|The Man in the High Castle}}, a novel by {{w|Philip K. Dick}} which was adapted into a TV series (at the time of this comic, two seasons had been produced and a third is expected before the end of 2017).

|-
| Ol' Ironhook
| {{w|Old Ironsides}}
| Old Ironsides is a nickname for the USS Constitution (docked in Charlestown, MA). Ol' Ironhook may be a conflation of Old Ironsides (also a nickname for English Lord Protector Oliver Cromwell) with Old Hookey (a nickname for Arthur Wellesley, Duke of Wellington, English general and PM, who was also nicknamed The Iron Duke) or Old Kinderhook (a nickname for US President Martin Van Buren).
|-
| The Thousand Spires || The City of a Hundred Spires / City of Dreaming Spires|| Prague / Oxford.
|-
| The Graveyard of Kings || The Graveyard of Champions / City of Kings / Graveyard of Empires || ''Graveyard'': Court 2 at Wimbledon, where former champions are often defeated (the playing environment is very different from Centre Court and Court One, which are larger and where games involving highly-ranked players are preferentially located). The comic was released one day after the 2017 Wimbledon Championships were finished. ''Kings'': Nickname of [[wikipedia:Lima|Lima, Peru]] and [[wikipedia:Palermo|Palermo, Sicily]]. The {{w|Valley of the Kings}} in Egypt is literally a graveyard of kings, namely the Pharaohs.
Alternatively, Afghanistan is also known as the "Graveyard of Empires" due to its success in defending against would-be conquerors.
|-
| Bloomtown || [[wikipedia: Boomtown|Boomtown]] || Generic term for a town undergoing rapid growth. Used in the 2002 TV series of the same name as a nickname for Los Angeles. Might also be referring to [[wikipedia:Bloom County|Bloom County]], a comic by [[wikipedia:Berkeley Breathed|Berkeley Breathed]], or Dublin, as the setting for Ulysses by James Joyce. Bloomtown also invokes an image of many flowers, so it could be a reference to a large garden, or a city known for its gardens or flowers. The [[wikipedia: Bloomsbury | Bloomsbury]] district of London is famous as a location for intellectuals and writers, and publishing houses.
|-
| Lantern City USA || {{w|Tree City USA}} || A designation supporting municipalities that showcase urban forestry, in connection with Arbor Day. Lantern city is a fictional, steam-punk serial.
|-
| The City of Many Daughters || {{w|City of Daughters}} || Might be a reference to {{w|City of Daughters}} album by [[wikipedia:Destroyer (band)|Destroyer]].
|-
| Big Mauve || [[wikipedia: Big_Red_(drink)|Big Red Soda]] || Big Red Soda. Big Red is also a chewing gum by Wrigley's. The Cornell teams are known as the [[wikipedia:Cornell Big Red|Big Red]] as is Western Kentucky's mascot [[wikipedia:Big Red (Western Kentucky University)|Big Red]]. The Dartmouth football team is the Big Green. IBM is sometimes known as Big Blue.
|-
| The Glass Cradle || [[wikipedia:The Glass Menagerie|The Glass Menagerie]] || A play by Tennessee Williams. Or Golden Cradle, referencing Mesopotamia.
|-
| The Road Source ||{{w|Rome}} || From the saying that {{w|All Roads Lead to Rome}}. Possibly Rome's antipode (in the Pacific Ocean, a little east of New Zealand), since the saying makes Rome the Road Sink.
|-
| London Prime || London || In the DC comics, to incorporate multiple continuties, there were multiple universes. London Prime would be "real London" on Earth Prime. Various cities named {{w|New London}} in the United States and elsewhere are imagined as London in alternate continuities. Alternatively in mathematics, a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prime_(symbol)#Use_in_mathematics.2C_statistics.2C_and_science prime mark], x' can be the next iteration of variable x.
|-
| Hamtown || {{w|Boston}}, {{w|Hamburg}}, {{w|Toronto}} || Boston is known as [[wikipedia:Boston nicknames|beantown]], pork and beans are commonly cooked together (as in {{w|Boston baked beans}}), and ham is a form of pork. The German word ''Burg'' means castle or fort and is often used as suffix for town names. The origin of the prefix ''Ham'' is uncertain, but the food {{w|Hamburger}} derives from this city and ''Hamburger'' in German is the demonym of Hamburg. Toronto is sometimes nicknamed Hogtown.
|-
| The Salad Bowl || || A theory of cultural integration in the US, one that stands in contrast to the older 'Melting Pot' theory. Could also refer to the [[wikipedia: Dust Bowl|Dust Bowl]]. Could also refer to Salinas, CA, the "Salad Bowl of the world".
|-
| God's Boudoir || God's Waiting Room || State of {{w|Florida}}, where many elderly retire then expire. As a ''{{w|boudoir}}'' is a room reserved for a female (host), this usage would implicate that either God is a woman, or that God frequents there often.
|-
| The Glittering Swamp || [[wikipedia:Great Dismal Swamp|The Great Dismal Swamp ]], {{w|Washington, D.C.}} || A large swamp in Virginia and North Carolina. Also, the city of {{w|Washington, D.C.}} has often been referred to as a "swamp," owing partly to its past as a [http://networks.h-net.org/node/28441/pages/36129/swamps-and-city-washington malarial swamp].
|-
| The Steel Forest || The Concrete Jungle || The Concrete Jungle is a name often given to New York's Manhattan area. There was also a book and movie titled ''The Petrified Forest''.
|-
| The Mobius Strip || The Strip || The Strip is a shortened and commonly used name for the Las Vegas Strip, the main area of hotels and casinos in Las Vegas, Nevada. A {{w|Mobius strip}} is a one-sided piece of paper created by rotating the short edge of the strip 180 degrees and attaching it to the other short edge. The Vegas strip has more or less only one side as well.
|-
| The Land of Trains and Fog || || Britain was home to early developments in railroading, and some portions are known for fog and mists.
In the webcomic [[wikipedia:Homestuck | Homestuck]] many events take place on various planets named in the format "Land of X and Y", e.g. "Land of Light and Rain". A series of novels by George R.R. Martin, which was made into the ''Game of Thrones'' TV show, is called ''A Song of Ice and Fire''. The Grand Canyon is known as "The House of Stone and Light" by some native people.
|-
| The Meeting Place || [[wikipedia:Canberra|Canberra]] || The capital city of Australia has its name derived from 'Meeting Place' in the local Aboriginal language, because of a seasonal food boom (Bogong Moths) that drew tribes to the area each year.
|-
| The Dark Star || || ''Dark Star'' is a 1974 science fiction comedy film.
|-
| The Walled Garden || {{w|Walled garden (technology)}} || A walled garden is a virtual environment where the user can only view content that is published or permitted by the proprietor, e.g. AOL or Facebook. Likely a reference to the {{w|Garden Of Eden}}.This could also be a reference to walled cities, e.g. from the Middle Ages, or the {{w|Kowloon Walled City}} in the modern era. ''The Secret Garden'' is a book by Frances Hodgson Burnett.
|-
| Skin City || [[wikipedia:Sin City (description)|Sin City]] || Specifically Las Vegas. Also a generic term for a city well known for gambling, drugs, prostitution, and/or other vices.
|-
| The Horse Rotary || || Horse and rotary are both types of clothes dryer. Might reference The Windy City, which would also likely be good for drying clothes.
|-
| Turkeytown || Turkeytown || A town in Lincoln County, Kentucky.
|-
| The Naked Towers || || ''The Naked City'' was a television series. ''The Two Towers'' is a book by Tolkien, and ''Naked Lunch'' is a book by Burroughs.
|-
| The Meta-City || Metacity || A term for a heterogenous, sprawling urban center with multiple dense centers, such as Tokyo or New York City. Metacity was also the window manager in the Linux GNOME 2 desktop.
|-
| The Urban Orb || || The screen name of a Let's Player on Youtube and Twitch. - Also maybe once more: Rome and the Rest of the world, as in the popes address to the urbi (city: meaning Rome ) and orbi (circle: meaning the world)
|-
| The City of Angles || City of Angels || Los Angeles. Also, the titular City of Angles in the web novel [http://stefangagne.com/cityofangles/ City of Angles]. There also exist several songs with that name, a few of them listed here: {{w|City of Angels}}.
|-
| The Big Wheel || [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0041179/ The Big Wheel] || A 1949 movie about a race car driver. Alternatively, a child's plastic tricycle with an oversized front wheel.
|-
| Bird City USA || || A program started by the Audubon Society.
|-
| The City of Seven Crowns || City of Seven Hills || Rome. Also occasionally refers to Moscow. The next nickname is likely a reference to the 'wrong' part of this nickname.
|-
| Hilltopia || The Hilltop || May be reference to The Hilltop in AMC's The Walking Dead.
|-
| Bug City || || A nickname for the bug-infested Chicago in the roleplaying game Shadowrun. Also, a sourcebook for the game. This may also be a reference to Johnny Rico's description of Planet P in movie Starship Troopers.
|-
| The Bottomless Cup || || There are many mentions of Bottomless Pits in stories. Additionally, restaurants offering unlimited refills on drinks may refer to this offer by terms like "Bottomless Soda."
|-
| Lorde's Fen || Lord's Fen || [[wikipedia:Lorde| Lorde]] is a musical artist from Herne Bay, New Zealand - an area near Waitemata Harbour. A [[wikipedia:Fen| fen]] is a type of wetland, which could loosely connect to Herne Bay.
|-
| The Last Town || || The third book in the Wayward Pines series.
|-
| The Empty Set || || The concert hall in the video game Transistor. In mathematics, the {{w|empty set}} refers to an unique set with no elements, often notated as "{}" or "∅".
|-
| Ghost Harbor || || The name for a brewing company in North Carolina.
|}

{| class=wikitable
! Demonym in comic
! Reference
! Explanation
|-
| Northlanders || {{w|Norsemen}} || Norsemen, literally men from the north, people from Nordic countries. Could also be a reference to highlanders, the people of the {{w|Scottish Highlands}}, with a similar demonym. The "High" in "Highlands" is a reference to the mountainous landscape, not the geographical position. It may or may not have to do with the northernmost province of {{w|New Zealand}}.
|-
| Fair Folk || {{w|Fairy}} || The fair folk is a name for fairies in folklore. The elves in ''The Lord of the Rings'' are referred to as the 'fair folk'.
|-
| Honey Barons || [[wikipedia: Robber_baron_(industrialist) | Robber Barons]], [[wikipedia: Honey_badger | Honey Badgers]], [[wikipedia: Honey bear| honey bear]] || Possibly a play on The Robber Barons, a group of powerful industrialists in the late 1800s known for questionable business ethics, and honey badgers, animals known for their tough skin, bad tempers, and tenacity. Honey bear is a name for a few types of bear, as well as kinkajous.
|-
| Lake Dwellers || The Hobbit || Most likely a reference the people of the Laketown in J.R.R.Tolkien's "The Hobbit".
|-
| Treasurers || || A {{w|treasurer}} is a person in charge of running the treasury of an organization, for example a governmental department. The Auditors were characters in Terry Pratchett's Discworld books who did the book-keeping for reality, and wanted to simplify the universe by destroying life.
|-
| Swamp Watchers || ||
|-
| Dream Farmers || The Dream Factory || Hollywood, California, in its role as the center of the American film industry.
|-
| Wellfolk || Werefolk, Weefolk || The were folk were people who could change into animals: e.g. werewolves. Wee folk is another name for {{w|Fairy}} in folklore.
|-
| Rockeaters || [[Wikipedia:List_of_The_Neverending_Story_characters#Pyornkrachzark_and_the_other_messengers| Rockbiter]] || In the ''Never Ending Story'', Pyornkrachzark, more commonly known as "Rock Biter" is a large creature made completely of stone, named due to their diet of rocks.
May also refer to {{w|Lotus-eaters}}; while these mythical people slept in narcotic apathy, rockeaters might have a tougher time.
|-
| Forgotten Royals || [[wikipedia:Forgotten Realms | Forgotten Realms]] || Royalty from Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) campaign setting.
|-
| Remote Clients || [[wikipedia:Remote_computer|Remote client]] || In computing, a remote client is a program used to access a computer or service over a network. From a System Administrator's perspective, these are typically the users (though sometimes the administrators) of the system.
|-
| Barrow-Clerks || [http://lotr.wikia.com/wiki/Barrow-wights Barrow-wights] || Wraith-like creatures in ''The Lord of the Rings''. The hobbits come across them in the [http://lotr.wikia.com/wiki/Barrow-downs Barrow-downs.]
Those who keep records of items deposited in a grave mound or barrow.
|-
| The People of Land and Sky || [[wikipedia:Sea_Peoples|Sea Peoples]] || Sea peoples were raiders that attacked during the Late Bronze Age collapse.
|}

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat, Megan, and Ponytail are standing on a hill overlooking a city. The Gateway Arch is visible, as well as a number of skyscrapers in the skyline.]
:Black Hat: Ah, New York. The Hot Tamale.
:Megan: This is St. Louis. Also, that's not–
:Black Hat: The Winged City. The Gold Trombone. Castleopolis.
:Megan: It's none of those.

:[Close-up of Black Hat]
:Black Hat: The Kissing Kingdom. Sandland. The High Place. Ol' Ironhook.
:Megan (off-panel): Still wrong.
:Black Hat: The Thousand Spires. The Graveyard of Kings. Bloomtown. Lantern City USA.
:Megan (off-panel): Please stop.

:[Black Hat, Megan, and Ponytail are walking]
:Black Hat: The City of Many Daughters. Big Mauve. The Glass Cradle. The Road Source. London Prime. Hamtown. The Salad Bowl. God's Boudoir. The Glittering Swamp. The Steel Forest. The Mobius Strip. The Land of Trains and Fog. The Meeting Place. The Dark Star. The Walled Garden. Skin City. The Horse Rotary. Turkeytown. The Naked Towers. The Meta-City. The Urban Orb. The City of Angles. The Big Wheel. Bird City USA. The City of Seven Crowns. Hilltopia. Bug City. The Bottomless Cup. [Text size getting smaller] Lorde's Fen. The Last Town. The Empty Set. Ghost Harbor.
:Megan: How long does this last?
:Ponytail: No city has ever let him stay long enough to find out.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:LOTR]]

Talk:2599: Spacecraft Debris Odds Ratio

2022-03-29T00:50:13Z

Jordan Brown: fix signature

correct me if i'm wrong, but i believe 300 - 30 is 270, not 280? [[Special:Contributions/172.68.50.85|172.68.50.85]] 22:50, 28 March 2022 (UTC)
:something something percentage points maybe? idk [[Special:Contributions/172.70.134.91|172.70.134.91]] 22:56, 28 March 2022 (UTC)Bumpf
:Most likely there is an unstated chance of death by not going outside... presumably ~10% but there's no way to know the breakdown (could be nearly all cardio, could be nearly all ursine if they live in a cave next bears) [[Special:Contributions/172.69.70.127|172.69.70.127]] 23:02, 28 March 2022 (UTC)
::300% increase is multiplying by (1+3), 30% decrease is multiplying by (1-0.3) , %increases are multiplicative so the increase is by a factor of 4*0.7=2.8, which is 280% of the original value (or a 180% increase).

"That's a 280% increased" has a typo/grammaro. The last word should be "increase". [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 23:04, 28 March 2022 (UTC)

Also what's an odds ratio?? ~~Bumpf
:I assume something like "million to one". But the units of the horizontal axis clearly don't correspond to that. I don't know what those units are, they're not a percentage, either. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 00:40, 29 March 2022 (UTC)
:: if you say "this is 4 times as likely" then "4" is the "odds ratio", this is the type of number appearing on the horizontal axis

Did something happen to the size of the image after the initial posting? [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 00:40, 29 March 2022 (UTC)

What's with the asterisks on the right side? [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 00:50, 29 March 2022 (UTC)

2525: Air Travel Packing List

2021-10-07T02:50:01Z

Jordan Brown: explanation for shoes, factual fix for flaps (elevators and flaps are different things)/* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2525
| date = October 6, 2021
| title = Air Travel Packing List
| image = air_travel_packing_list.png
| titletext = I know the etiquette is controversial, but I think it's rude when the person in front of me reclines their seat into the bell of my trumpet.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an AIRBORNE TRUMPETER - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This comic is about a packing list, and the humor is found because most of the items are either found on the plane, would be useful in a plane crash, or SOUND like they are useful on a plane. a quick summary of each:

{| class="wikitable"
! Item
! Explanation
|-
|Seat cushion
|This can be used as a flotation device in a crash and is provided by the airline. Some people may also bring their own cushions for comfort.
|-
|Parachute
|useful to keep yourself from falling out of the sky in a crash
|-
|Wing glue
|to repair wings in the event of damage, potentially in a crash. unclear on how you would apply mid-flight
|-
|Air horn
|to draw attention to yourself in the event of a crash, or potentially to be used to celebrate a successful flight and make everyone else on the plane hate you.
|-
|Sextant
|to be able to determine your position based on the stars and find your way home. It could be useful in a crash if you know star charts and HOW TO USE A SEXTANT.
|-
|Nose plugs and goggles for pressure
|in case of a crash, to help with depressurization of the cabin and rapid pressure changes during a crash.
|-
|Airplane shoes
|like slippers, to keep feet warm and comfy on long flights.
|-
|Navigation crystal
|mystical form of navigation, presumably to help you home after a crash.
|-
|Spare batteries in case the plane runs out
|Planes will generally use more power than any battery small enough to be easily packed in a bag can provide. They will generally use either 115v AC at 400hz or 28v DC, both of which are very uncommon outside of aviation. The plane will almost never use its own batteries anyway, getting its electric power from the APU, engines, or, in emergencies, the ram air turbine.
|-
|Birdseed
|so you can attract birds, and use THEM to fly the plane in case of crash
|-
|Homing beacon
|so people can find you in the event of a crash, similar to flares. carry one at all times.
|-
|Meteorite antidote
|Meteorites are pieces of space rocks that make it all the way to the ground. They can cause injury but aren't poisonous, so an antidote would not help.
|-
|USB wing connector
|this is a just a wire connector, but because it has wing in the name is on the list. alternatively, the plane wings connect by USB, and this can be used to reattach wings.
|-
|Emergency siren
|USE IN CASE OF EMERGENCY
|-
|Spare flaps
|If the flaps fail in a crash, it is good to have spares.
|-
|Mouthpiece (pandemic restriction; airlines still provide the trumpet)
|could be a reference to the mouthpiece on oxygen masks that drop down in case of rapid depressurization in the cabin. for some reason you are choosing to put it on a trumpet
|-
|Luggage ballast
|for keeping your luggage upright in the water. obviously.
|-
|Flag (international flights)
|used to communicate between boats without electricity, in the event the boats are in distress. to be used in the event of a crash.
|-
|Decoy tickets
|For sneaking onto the plane without paying.
|-
|Keys to the plane
|Though some pushed for it after the 2018 Horizon Air Q400 incident, planes do not require keys to fly.
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

<big>Air Travel Packing List</big>

If you haven't flown in a while, you might not remember what you need to bring. Use this handy checklist to pack!

[Two columns of lists of items. Each item is preceded by a checkbox.]
*Seat cushion
*Parachute
*Wing glue
*Air horn
*Sextant
*Nose plugs and goggles for pressure
*Airplane shoes
*Navigation crystal
*Spare batteries in case the plane runs out
*Birdseed
*Homing beacon
*Meteorite antidote
*USB wing connector
*Emergency siren
*Spare flaps
*Mouthpiece (pandemic restriction; airlines still provide the trumpet)
*Luggage ballast
*Flag (international flights)
*Decoy tickets
*Keys to the plane

{{comic discussion}}

2467: Wikipedia Caltrops

2021-05-24T17:31:05Z

Jordan Brown: typo /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2467
| date = May 24, 2021
| title = Wikipedia Caltrops
| image = wikipedia_caltrops.png
| titletext = Oh no, they set up a roadblock which is just a sign with the entire 'Czech hedgehog' article printed on it.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by A WIKIPEDIA CRAWL INEVITABLY REACHING "PHILOSOPHY". Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
Wikipedia is a website that is notorious for having many links to other pages, which may result in a "wiki walk", a dilemma what has been discussed previously in [[214|214: The Problem with Wikipedia]] (and separately with TV Tropes in [[609|609: Tab Explosion]]).

A '{{w|Czech hedgehog}}' is an anti-tank obstacle made of metal, and would be an effective roadblock however a sign describing it would not impede most traffic.

Cueball's car has a collection of Wikipedia links spilling out of the trunk. They include:

* {{w|1808 mystery eruption}}: A conjectured volcanic eruption
* {{w|1916 Cumberland vs. Georgia Tech football game}}: The most uneven college football game in history
* {{w|1994 Caribbean Cup#Anomaly}}: A soccer game where group stage qualification rules had unintended consequences
* {{w|American death triangle}}: An unsafe type of rock climbing anchor
* {{w|AVE Mizar}}: A 1970s flying car
* {{w|Bald-hairy}}: A Russian political theory about state leaders' hairstyles
* {{w|Boeing YAL-1}}: A laser weapon mounted on a military aircraft
* {{w|Bubbly Creek}}: A stretch of river in Chicago featured in The Jungle
* {{w|Burned house horizon}}: An area where Neolithic people burned their settlements
* {{w|Defence Scheme No. 1}}: A 1920s plan for Canada to attack the USA
* {{w|Ebright Azimuth}}: The highest point in Delaware
* {{w|Elsagate}}: A YouTube controversy involving inappropriate videos being categorised as child-friendly
* {{w|Fastest animals#Invertebrates}}: Very fast insects, and some squid
* {{w|Flying ice cube}}: An effect in molecular dynamics simulations
* {{w|Future of Earth#Introversion}}: A theory that the continents will all drift back together
* {{w|Hairy Hands}}: A ghost story in Dartmoor, England
* {{w|January 0}}: December 31st in some software programs
* {{w|List of fictional colors}}: Impossible colours in fiction
* {{w|List of unexplained sounds}}: Mostly detected by NOAA, includes the Bloop
* {{w|Talk:List of U.S. states and territories by area}}: A very long talk page where people dispute the order of the list
* {{w|Mosquito laser}}: A proposed device for killing mosquitoes
* {{w|Pheasant Island}}: An island shared equally between France and Spain
* {{w|Time in Australia#Anomalies}}: Places in Australia which do not use the expected time zone
* {{w|Timeline of the far future}}: Scientific speculation
* {{w|Walkalong glider}}: A type of unpowered model aircraft

The idea is that by dropping a series of interesting links, one could stop someone else's movement (provided that they are also easily distracted) as they take the time to go through them all. This is analogous to the caltrops mentioned in the title.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Cueball drives a car, followed by another car. A number of paper slips with wikipedia links are distributed from the back of the car:

* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bubbly_Creek
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elsagate
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pheasant_Island
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_death_triangle
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boeing_YAL-1
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1808_mystery_eruption
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1994_Caribbean_Cup#Anomaly
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walkalong_glider
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fastest_animals#Invertebrates
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_ice_cube
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hairy_Hands
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mosquito_laser
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1916_Cumberland_vs._Georgia_Tech_football_game
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_the_far_future
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/January_0
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defence_Scheme_No._1
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Future_of_Earth#Introversion
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fictional_colors
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burned_house_horizon
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unexplained_sounds
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:List_of_U.S._states_and_territories_by_area
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ebright_Azimuth

Caption: I have a collection of wikipedia links to throw behind my car if I'm ever being chased by someone as easily distracted as me.

{{comic discussion}}

2406: Viral Vector Immunity

2021-01-01T18:47:57Z

Jordan Brown: In the title text, the woman is reacting to the narrator, not to the coffee cup.

{{comic
| number = 2406
| date = January 1, 2021
| title = Viral Vector Immunity
| image = viral_vector_immunity.png
| titletext = We've secretly replaced this customer's instant coffee with our patented substitute. Let's see what she ... uh oh, I think she spotted us through the window. Now she's getting something from the closet ... oh jeez, she has a sword! Run!!
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a SENTIENT WOODEN HORSE. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic references the story of the {{w|Trojan Horse}}.

The comic attempts to explain the methodology of a vector virus vaccine, and the failure of the specific methodology.

A vaccine is a way to familiarise a host's immune system with a pathogen without actually causing the host to fall ill with the associated illness.

There are many types of vaccines that have been developed over time, all of which are ways to present a significant segment of a viral molecular structure to the host body, so that the immune system recognises the virus and mounts an immune response faster when a real infection happens.

A viral vector vaccine uses a modified virus, usually different to the pathogen being immunised against, to deliver a molecular payload into the host body. This modified virus is called the vector virus because it is the method of delivery of the molecular piece of the pathogen virus.

For example, a modified (to be harmless) cold virus can be used to deliver an (harmless) outer segment of another virus into the body. The ability of the vector virus to sneak into the host body and inject itself into the cell's reproductive system is used to trick the body into producing numerous copies of the recognisable piece of the other virus. That way the immune system recognises the molecular segment of the other virus without actually being infected with that virus, which tends to significantly decrease recognition time after a real infection and therefore speeds up recovery.

The comic represents this idea with the Trojan horse being the (in this case) harmless vector virus, carrying, contrary to the traditional story, a beneficial payload into the cell.

The failure of the virus vector method sometimes results from the body mounting an immune response to the vector itself because it recognises its own molecular structure, therefore preventing the delivery of the payload and reducing the efficacy of the vaccine. In the comic the warriors recognise the shape of the delivery vehicle (the Trojan horse) as being similar to an animal that trampled one of their own earlier and therefore refuse it entry. An amusing point here is that they are not as such surprised at the arrival of a wooden vehicle at their doorstep, rather that its shape resembling an animal they have found threatening before, which is similar to how simple in its judgements the immune system can be.

The title text is a further riff on this theme, with the contents of the coffee cup being the payload and the narrator the virus vector.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[A large wooden horse statue on wheels stands before a city wall, upon which are standing several warriors who are shouting and brandishing spears.]
:Warrior 1: Look! It's a statue of that horrible animal that trampled Steve!
:Warrior 2: Burn it!
:Warrior 3: Smash it!
:Warrior 4: Push it into the gorge!

:How vaccine failure due to viral vector immunity works
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:COVID-19]]

Talk:2121: Light Pollution

2019-03-08T21:47:39Z

Jordan Brown: alternative interpretations

Small error in this comic. It's not possible to tile a sphere with just hexagons. https://stackoverflow.com/questions/749264/covering-earth-with-hexagonal-map-tiles
[[User:AlanKilian|AlanKilian]] ([[User talk:AlanKilian|talk]]) 16:03, 8 March 2019 (UTC)
:Six triangles form a hexagon - just an explanation for people with less mathematical or geometric knowledge. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 16:17, 8 March 2019 (UTC)
::but a indefinite large group of triangles doesn't automatically transform to hexagons, since it could be overlapping hexagons, or hexagons with their interim spaces filled up by triangles?--[[User:Lupo|Lupo]] ([[User talk:Lupo|talk]]) 16:29, 8 March 2019 (UTC)
:::Look at that hexagons (consisting of six triangles), each fitting to the next, and you will understand that this is only possible in a plane but not in a sphere. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 16:37, 8 March 2019 (UTC)
::::Yes, but if the triangles are not actually equilateral then they could form a sphere. And if the sphere is big enough (I think solar-system-surrouding or bigger counts) then you probably wouldn't be able to see it with the naked eye. [[User:Shamino|Shamino]] ([[User talk:Shamino|talk]]) 17:08, 8 March 2019 (UTC)
:::::But can it form a [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/1365:_Inflation basketball?] [[User:Netherin5|Netherin5]] ([[User talk:Netherin5|talk]]) 17:24, 8 March 2019 (UTC)
:Your eyes are making the hexagons up. Some triangles would be left over if you tried to make every group of 6 triangles a hexagon. Triangle arrays like this are commonly used in computer graphics, as they are the closest approximation to a sphere: https://mft-dev.dk/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/icosahedron_frame_sub3.gif [[Special:Contributions/162.158.79.185|162.158.79.185]] 17:25, 8 March 2019 (UTC)
::Not really. On a plane, there are only three {{W|tesselation|tesselations}} made only of identical regular polygons: {{W|triangular tiling}}, {{W|square tiling}} or {{W|hexagonal tiling}}. But since a regular hexagon can be divided into six equilateral triangles, the tiling in the picture can be seen as both triangular and hexagonal. The leaving out you write about may have come from another tesselation which uses hexagons and triangles, the {{W|trihexagonal tiling}}. On a sphere, there's a completely different discussion as there's no tesselations, only approximations of them. {{unsigned|Malgond}}

Oh man where are the conspiracy nuts from a few weeks ago ;-) [[User:Cgrimes85|Cgrimes85]] ([[User talk:Cgrimes85|talk]]) 17:03, 8 March 2019 (UTC)
:Hey, I think this works like Beetlejuice. Shush. Don’t jinx it. [[User:Netherin5|Netherin5]] ([[User talk:Netherin5|talk]]) 17:24, 8 March 2019 (UTC)

Ok, I know most of the discussion is focused on the lattice, but are the ships a reference to something? LOTR maybe? Also there’s nothing about the title text at all, and the (more probable than LOTR) Lovecraft reference, considering the mentions of insanity, cosmic horror, and color. (I believe the book was Cool Air?) [[User:Netherin5|Netherin5]] ([[User talk:Netherin5|talk]]) 17:24, 8 March 2019 (UTC)

I think it's notable that the world actually works this way. The sky is full of drones, satellites, {{w|Mesosphere#Exploration_and_uses|nearcraft}}, and we basically can't see them, but they can freely observe us, transmit things to us, and drop things on us. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.79.185|162.158.79.185]] 17:34, 8 March 2019 (UTC)

I may be too nerdy, but my mind went to Spelljammer on this. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.62.160|172.69.62.160]] 18:44, 8 March 2019 (UTC)

I went to the sky at the end of [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0139809/ Thirteenth Floor]. But the one image I can find suggests that was rectangular. [[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 21:47, 8 March 2019 (UTC)

Talk:2043: Boathouses and Houseboats

2018-09-07T15:57:19Z

Jordan Brown: housecar

The state of California already believes that a house held by a car is a housecar:
:Vehicle Code - VEH
:DIVISION 1. WORDS AND PHRASES DEFINED [100 - 681] ( Division 1 enacted by Stats. 1959, Ch. 3. )
:362.
:A “house car” is a motor vehicle originally designed, or permanently altered, and equipped for human habitation, or to which a camper has been permanently attached. A motor vehicle to which a camper has been temporarily attached is not a house car except that, for the purposes of Division 11 (commencing with Section 21000) and Division 12 (commencing with Section 24000), a motor vehicle equipped with a camper having an axle that is designed to support a portion of the weight of the camper unit shall be considered a three-axle house car regardless of the method of attachment or manner of registration. A house car shall not be deemed to be a motortruck.[http://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/codes_displaySection.xhtml?lawCode=VEH&sectionNum=362.]
Bonus: "motortruck" does indeed refer to a truck that holds a motor.
[[User:Jordan Brown|Jordan Brown]] ([[User talk:Jordan Brown|talk]]) 15:57, 7 September 2018 (UTC)

245: Floor Tiles

2012-09-03T18:33:10Z

Jordan Brown: spelling/* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 245
| date = April 06, 2007
| title = Floor_Tiles
| image = floor_tiles.png
| imagesize =
| titletext = The worst part is when sidewalk cracks are out-of-sync with your natural stride.
}}

==Explanation==
A neurotic character chooses to lie about an odd game he is playing instead of describing the lunacy.

==Transcript==
:[Two characters walk on a floor tiled in black and white.]
:First: Why are you walking funny?
:[Second panel consists of second character's thought cloud in which the second character points to an easel mounted diagram of the floor tile pattern]
:Second, thinking: Well, my instinct is to step only on black tiles, but they're too far apart. So I'm letting myself walk on the tiles directly in line with the black ones, but that means that when we walk diagonally, I have to step in a pattern where...
:[Returns to situation in first panel]
:Second: I'm not walking funny.

{{comic discussion}}