explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1837: Rental Car

2017-05-16T00:51:55Z

Jz4p: /* Trivia */

{{comic
| number = 1837
| date = May 15, 2017
| title = Rental Car
| image = rental_car.png
| titletext = Technically, both cars are haunted, but the murder ghosts can't stand listening to the broken GPS for more than a few minutes.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Work in progress}}

In this comic the couple [[Megan]] and [[Cueball]] want to rent a car. The [[:Category:Multiple Cueballs|Cueball-like guy]] from the {{w|car rental}} agency tells them they only have two vehicles available:
* One car that puts its occupants into mortal danger, so much so that it is called ''The Murder Car''. The danger, however, is abstract - it is [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/haunted haunted] by a {{w|ghost}}, and actual death befalls only "maybe one in six". (That is the equivalent of a round of {{w|Russian Roulette}}. )
* The other car, a regular {{w|Sedan (automobile)|Sedan}}, has a defective {{w|GPS}} that incessantly gives instructions to go specifically to {{w|Seattle}}, regardless of the driver's intention to go there. And it cannot be turned off.

Megan believes she can ignore this and accepts the least lethal car. The comic suggests that driving with a GPS that tries to guide you to a different destination than that which you wish to visit - so it is always recalculating and asking you to do U-turns - is incredibly annoying. So annoying that given the choice between the persistent low-level annoyance of the GPS on one hand, and the ("low") probability of being murdered on the other, most people will choose the latter option. After all, they might survive murderous ghosts but they feel they will not survive long having to listen to the broken GPS.

According to the title text, the murderous ghosts haunt both cars, but as soon as the car starts driving and the GPS begins to drone on, even the ghost cannot stand listening to the broken GPS and returns to ''The Murder Car''.

Apart from the joke about GPS, there is also a joke on the horrible cars one might get at a car rental service...

==Trivia==
*With an estimated 1.25 million vehicular deaths globally in 2013[http://www.who.int/gho/road_safety/mortality/traffic_deaths_number/en/] and approx 53.7 million cars sold in the same year [https://www.statista.com/statistics/200002/international-car-sales-since-1990/], the number of fatalities per vehicle sold comes to be around 2.3% or about 1 in 43.5.
** The above number is an intentionally misleading statistic. See [[1102: Fastest-Growing]]

*The global number of haunted cars those with faulty GPS/Sat Navs is not available, but believed to be at least five in number. [http://www.autoblog.com/2014/10/31/five-cursed-haunted-cars/]

==Transcript==
:[A Cueball-like guy standing behind a desk looking at a computer screen services Megan and Cueball on the other side of the desk.]
:Guy: We have two rental cars left.
:Guy: One is the murder car. But don't let the name scare you!
:Guy: It's definitely haunted. But most drivers don't get murdered.
:Guy: Maybe one in six.

:[The guy lifts his hand and looks at Megan and Cueball.]
:Guy: The other is a regular Sedan.
:Guy: But is has a GPS that's stuck trying to navigate to Seattle.
:Megan: ...I can ignore it, right? That's fine.

:[In a frame-less panel Megan and Cueball drives in the Sedan.]
:GPS: Turn left
:GPS: Recalculating
:GPS: Make a U-Turn
:GPS: Recalculating
:GPS: Turn right
:GPS: Make a U-Turn
:GPS: Recalculating

:[Megan and Cueball walks back into the the guy behind his desk. Megan holds out the car keys in one hand.]
:Guy: Back already?
:Megan: We'll take the murder car.
:Guy: Popular Choice.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

1484: Apollo Speeches

2015-02-10T01:02:56Z

Jz4p: /* Explanation */ Really really unlikely, in other words.

{{comic
| number = 1484
| date = February 9, 2015
| title = Apollo Speeches
| image = apollo_speeches.png
| titletext = While our commitment to recycling initiatives has been unwavering, this is not a cost any of us should be expected to pay.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|The framework is laid out. Needs a much more in-depth explanation, however.}}
As explained in the comic, {{w|Richard Nixon|Nixon}} staffer {{w|William Safire}} wrote [http://www.lettersofnote.com/2010/11/in-event-of-moon-disaster.html two speeches] for the United States President to deliver, depending on whether or not the {{w|Apollo 11}} return launch was successful. When the outcome of an event (moon landing, military actions, etc.) can't be predicted with sufficient certainty, it is a common practice for "[http://www.archives.gov/presidential-libraries/events/centennials/nixon/exhibit/nixon-online-exhibit-disaster.html contingency speeches]" to be prepared.

The rest of the comic runs with this theme, making the false claim that Safire had written several other such contingency speeches for increasingly unlikely possibilities. First listed are a couple pages from the real contingency speech to be delivered in the event that the astronauts were left stranded on the Moon. Lying on top of that is a speech to be delivered in the case that the spacecraft went missing altogether, which was relatively unlikely. The speeches after that deal with the following highly unlikely or impossible contingencies:
* The astronauts had stolen the ship and piloted it towards Mars, which was clearly not feasible: while the crew could have redirected the ship while sending insulting messages to Earth, the spacecraft lacked the power to fly to Mars within any reasonable period of time by several orders of magnitude or the supplies for the astronauts to survive such an extended trip.
** At the time of production for this strip in 2015, several governments and private companies have designs on Martian colonization.
* Upon landing, more astronauts than expected were found in the ship;
** Given that there only three humans in space during the entire duration of the Apollo 11 Mission, and that NASA maintained contact throughout and indeed televised some of the mission, the sudden appearance of three additional astronauts upon landing ventures into the realm of possibility only available via science fiction and Twilight Zone episodes.
* The ship had hit the {{w|USS Hornet (CV-12)|USS ''Hornet''}} and crushed Nixon;
**Spiro Agnew was, in 1969, Vice President of the United States, and thus next in line for the presidency. This joke plays off the irony of the ship, and indeed President, being hit and triggering a succession, causing "President Agnew" to address the world. Apollo 11 famously landed in the pacific ocean, making the single ship tasked with it's recovery an impossibly specific target to hit for the technology.
* The re-entry craft had been sold for scrap and crushed along with the astronauts inside.
** Apollo 11 observed a strict quarantine procedure after landing. This possibility required excessive negligence and unholy zeal for recycling programs. The command module was historically recovered, examined, and is now on permanent display in the National Air and Space Museum.

The title text builds upon this last contingency speech, delving into the bathos of the horror of the spacecraft's recycling and its passengers' resulting deaths despite the U.S.'s commitment to recycling initiatives.

==Transcript==
:[Commentary above the speeches]
:In 1969, Nixon staffer William Safire wrote a speech for the president to deliver if the Apollo 11 return launch failed, stranding the doomed astronauts on the Moon.
:Uncovered in 1999, it is often called the greatest speech never given.
:Today, the ''full'' set of Safire's contingency speeches has been found.

:'''In event astronauts stranded on Moon'''
:Fate has ordained that the men who went to the Moon to explore in peace will stay on the Moon to rest in peace.
:[Here, several lines from the original speech are cut]
:In ancient days, men looked at stars and saw their heroes in the constellations. In modern times, we do much the same, but our heroes are epic men of flesh and blood.
:Others will follow, and surely find their way home. Man’s search will not be denied. But these men were the first, and they will remain the foremost in our hearts. For every human being who looks up at the Moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever

:'''In event spacecraft goes missing'''
:Neil Armstrong, Edwin Aldrin, and Michael Collins went to the Moon as ambassadors of peace for all mankind, and all mankind prays that they may yet return safely home.
:We are separated from the Moon by a vast gulf of space, against which their tiny vessel appeared as but a drifting speck. For a few brief seconds, we took our eye off them, and despite days of desperate searching, never again was their vessel sighted from Earth.
:While these men are lost, they are not forgotten, and their sacrifice will not

:'''In even astronauts abscond with spacecraft'''
:We do not know what led Armstrong, Aldrin and Collins to betray the trust we placed in them, abandon their mission, and steer their vessel toward Mars. Nor do we know what compelled them to transmit such hurtful messages back to Earth, heaping contempt on their onetime home.
:But whatever the cause of their dereliction, I call upon the United States to commit itself, before this year is out, to launching a mission to chase down Apollo 11 and return its crew to earth to face justice. We must not rest until

:'''In event spacecraft returns with extra astronauts'''
:While there is much we do not understand, tonight all of earth is united in celebrating the safe return of our brave explorers.
:We of course have many questions, and in the days and weeks to come we will demand answers. How many souls were truly aboard Apollo 11 when it launched? Who are the six men now in quarantine aboard the USS Hornet? What happened

:'''In event spacecraft hits U.S.S. Hornet, crushing Nixon'''
:'''President Agnew''': Tonight, we have experienced a great national triumph and a great national loss. We take joy in the safe return from the Moon of Neil Armstrong, Edwin Aldrin, and Michael Collins, but that joy is tempered with sorrow as we mourn our president’s tragic death beneath their wayward capsule.
:Richard Nixon wholeheartedly supported our courageous astronauts as they carried the hopes and prayers of Earth to the heavens, and in the moment of their homecoming, he himself has departed on that ultimate voyage. As we grieve, we must rededicate ourselves to the cause for which our president

:'''In event spacecraft accidentally sold for scrap and crushed with astronauts inside'''
:My fellow Americans, I am as shocked and appalled as you at this stunning and

{{comic discussion}}

1484: Apollo Speeches

2015-02-10T00:47:58Z

Jz4p: /* Explanation */ Additional Expository and formatting.

{{comic
| number = 1484
| date = February 9, 2015
| title = Apollo Speeches
| image = apollo_speeches.png
| titletext = While our commitment to recycling initiatives has been unwavering, this is not a cost any of us should be expected to pay.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|The framework is laid out. Needs a much more in-depth explanation, however.}}
As explained in the comic, {{w|Richard Nixon|Nixon}} staffer {{w|William Safire}} wrote [http://www.lettersofnote.com/2010/11/in-event-of-moon-disaster.html two speeches] for the United States President to deliver, depending on whether or not the {{w|Apollo 11}} return launch was successful. When the outcome of an event (moon landing, military actions, etc.) can't be predicted with sufficient certainty, it is a common practice for "[http://www.archives.gov/presidential-libraries/events/centennials/nixon/exhibit/nixon-online-exhibit-disaster.html contingency speeches]" to be prepared.

The rest of the comic runs with this theme, making the false claim that Safire had written several other such contingency speeches for increasingly unlikely possibilities. First listed are a couple pages from the real contingency speech to be delivered in the event that the astronauts were left stranded on the Moon. Lying on top of that is a speech to be delivered in the case that the spacecraft went missing altogether, which was relatively unlikely. The speeches after that deal with the following highly unlikely or impossible contingencies:
* The astronauts had stolen the ship and piloted it to Mars, which is clearly impossible: while the crew could have redirected the ship while sending insulting messages to Earth, the spacecraft lacked the power to fly to Mars within any reasonable period of time by several orders of magnitude or the supplies for the astronauts to survive such an extended trip.
* Upon landing, more astronauts than expected were found in the ship;
** Given that there only three humans in space during the entire duration of the Apollo 11 Mission, and that NASA maintained contact throughout and indeed televised some of the mission, the sudden appearance of three additional astronauts upon landing ventures into the realm of possibility only available via science fiction and Twilight Zone episodes.
* The ship had hit the {{w|USS Hornet (CV-12)|USS ''Hornet''}} and crushed Nixon;
**Spiro Agnew was, in 1969, Vice President of the United States, and thus next in line for the presidency. This joke plays off the irony of the ship, and indeed President, being hit and triggering a succession, causing "President Agnew" to address the world. Apollo 11 famously landed in the pacific ocean, making the single ship tasked with it's recovery an impossibly specific target to hit for the technology.
* The ship had been sold for scrap and crushed along with the astronauts inside.

The title text builds upon this last contingency speech, delving into the bathos of the horror of the spacecraft's recycling and its passengers' resulting deaths despite the U.S.'s commitment to recycling initiatives.

==Transcript==
:[Commentary above the speeches]
:In 1969, Nixon staffer William Safire wrote a speech for the president to deliver if the Apollo 11 return launch failed, stranding the doomed astronauts on the Moon.
:Uncovered in 1999, it is often called the greatest speech never given.
:Today, the ''full'' set of Safire's contingency speeches has been found.

:'''In event astronauts stranded on Moon'''
:Fate has ordained that the men who went to the Moon to explore in peace will stay on the Moon to rest in peace.
:[Here, several lines from the original speech are cut]
:In ancient days, men looked at stars and saw their heroes in the constellations. In modern times, we do much the same, but our heroes are epic men of flesh and blood.
:Others will follow, and surely find their way home. Man’s search will not be denied. But these men were the first, and they will remain the foremost in our hearts. For every human being who looks up at the Moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever

:'''In event spacecraft goes missing'''
:Neil Armstrong, Edwin Aldrin, and Michael Collins went to the Moon as ambassadors of peace for all mankind, and all mankind prays that they may yet return safely home.
:We are separated from the Moon by a vast gulf of space, against which their tiny vessel appeared as but a drifting speck. For a few brief seconds, we took our eye off them, and despite days of desperate searching, never again was their vessel sighted from Earth.
:While these men are lost, they are not forgotten, and their sacrifice will not

:'''In even astronauts abscond with spacecraft'''
:We do not know what led Armstrong, Aldrin and Collins to betray the trust we placed in them, abandon their mission, and steer their vessel toward Mars. Nor do we know what compelled them to transmit such hurtful messages back to Earth, heaping contempt on their onetime home.
:But whatever the cause of their dereliction, I call upon the United States to commit itself, before this year is out, to launching a mission to chase down Apollo 11 and return its crew to earth to face justice. We must not rest until

:'''In event spacecraft returns with extra astronauts'''
:While there is much we do not understand, tonight all of earth is united in celebrating the safe return of our brave explorers.
:We of course have many questions, and in the days and weeks to come we will demand answers. How many souls were truly aboard Apollo 11 when it launched? Who are the six men now in quarantine aboard the USS Hornet? What happened

:'''In event spacecraft hits U.S.S. Hornet, crushing Nixon'''
:'''President Agnew''': Tonight, we have experienced a great national triumph and a great national loss. We take joy in the safe return from the Moon of Neil Armstrong, Edwin Aldrin, and Michael Collins, but that joy is tempered with sorrow as we mourn our president’s tragic death beneath their wayward capsule.
:Richard Nixon wholeheartedly supported our courageous astronauts as they carried the hopes and prayers of Earth to the heavens, and in the moment of their homecoming, he himself has departed on that ultimate voyage. As we grieve, we must rededicate ourselves to the cause for which our president

:'''In event spacecraft accidentally sold for scrap and crushed with astronauts inside'''
:My fellow Americans, I am as shocked and appalled as you at this stunning and

{{comic discussion}}

1484: Apollo Speeches

2015-02-10T00:40:17Z

Jz4p: Explaining American Politics.

{{comic
| number = 1484
| date = February 9, 2015
| title = Apollo Speeches
| image = apollo_speeches.png
| titletext = While our commitment to recycling initiatives has been unwavering, this is not a cost any of us should be expected to pay.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|The framework is laid out. Needs a much more in-depth explanation, however.}}
As explained in the comic, {{w|Richard Nixon|Nixon}} staffer {{w|William Safire}} wrote [http://www.lettersofnote.com/2010/11/in-event-of-moon-disaster.html two speeches] for the United States President to deliver, depending on whether or not the {{w|Apollo 11}} return launch was successful. When the outcome of an event (moon landing, military actions, etc.) can't be predicted with sufficient certainty, it is a common practice for "[http://www.archives.gov/presidential-libraries/events/centennials/nixon/exhibit/nixon-online-exhibit-disaster.html contingency speeches]" to be prepared.

The rest of the comic runs with this theme, making the false claim that Safire had written several other such contingency speeches for increasingly unlikely possibilities. First listed are a couple pages from the real contingency speech to be delivered in the event that the astronauts were left stranded on the Moon. Lying on top of that is a speech to be delivered in the case that the spacecraft went missing altogether, which was relatively unlikely. The speeches after that deal with the following highly unlikely or impossible contingencies:
* The astronauts had stolen the ship and piloted it to Mars, which is clearly impossible: while the crew could have redirected the ship while sending insulting messages to Earth, the spacecraft lacked the power to fly to Mars within any reasonable period of time by several orders of magnitude or the supplies for the astronauts to survive such an extended trip.
* Upon landing, more astronauts than expected were found in the ship;
* The ship had hit the {{w|USS Hornet (CV-12)|USS ''Hornet''}} and crushed Nixon;
- Spiro Agnew was, in 1969, Vice President of the United States, and thus next in line for the presidency. This joke plays off the irony of the ship, and indeed President, being hit and triggering a succession. Apollo 11 famously landed in the pacific ocean, making the single ship tasked with it's recovery an impossibly specific target to hit for the technology.
* The ship had been sold for scrap and crushed along with the astronauts inside.

The title text builds upon this last contingency speech, delving into the bathos of the horror of the spacecraft's recycling and its passengers' resulting deaths despite the U.S.'s commitment to recycling initiatives.

==Transcript==
:[Commentary above the speeches]
:In 1969, Nixon staffer William Safire wrote a speech for the president to deliver if the Apollo 11 return launch failed, stranding the doomed astronauts on the Moon.
:Uncovered in 1999, it is often called the greatest speech never given.
:Today, the ''full'' set of Safire's contingency speeches has been found.

:'''In event astronauts stranded on Moon'''
:Fate has ordained that the men who went to the Moon to explore in peace will stay on the Moon to rest in peace.
:[Here, several lines from the original speech are cut]
:In ancient days, men looked at stars and saw their heroes in the constellations. In modern times, we do much the same, but our heroes are epic men of flesh and blood.
:Others will follow, and surely find their way home. Man’s search will not be denied. But these men were the first, and they will remain the foremost in our hearts. For every human being who looks up at the Moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever

:'''In event spacecraft goes missing'''
:Neil Armstrong, Edwin Aldrin, and Michael Collins went to the Moon as ambassadors of peace for all mankind, and all mankind prays that they may yet return safely home.
:We are separated from the Moon by a vast gulf of space, against which their tiny vessel appeared as but a drifting speck. For a few brief seconds, we took our eye off them, and despite days of desperate searching, never again was their vessel sighted from Earth.
:While these men are lost, they are not forgotten, and their sacrifice will not

:'''In even astronauts abscond with spacecraft'''
:We do not know what led Armstrong, Aldrin and Collins to betray the trust we placed in them, abandon their mission, and steer their vessel toward Mars. Nor do we know what compelled them to transmit such hurtful messages back to Earth, heaping contempt on their onetime home.
:But whatever the cause of their dereliction, I call upon the United States to commit itself, before this year is out, to launching a mission to chase down Apollo 11 and return its crew to earth to face justice. We must not rest until

:'''In event spacecraft returns with extra astronauts'''
:While there is much we do not understand, tonight all of earth is united in celebrating the safe return of our brave explorers.
:We of course have many questions, and in the days and weeks to come we will demand answers. How many souls were truly aboard Apollo 11 when it launched? Who are the six men now in quarantine aboard the USS Hornet? What happened

:'''In event spacecraft hits U.S.S. Hornet, crushing Nixon'''
:'''President Agnew''': Tonight, we have experienced a great national triumph and a great national loss. We take joy in the safe return from the Moon of Neil Armstrong, Edwin Aldrin, and Michael Collins, but that joy is tempered with sorrow as we mourn our president’s tragic death beneath their wayward capsule.
:Richard Nixon wholeheartedly supported our courageous astronauts as they carried the hopes and prayers of Earth to the heavens, and in the moment of their homecoming, he himself has departed on that ultimate voyage. As we grieve, we must rededicate ourselves to the cause for which our president

:'''In event spacecraft accidentally sold for scrap and crushed with astronauts inside'''
:My fellow Americans, I am as shocked and appalled as you at this stunning and

{{comic discussion}}