explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1679: Substitutions 3

2016-05-11T16:03:03Z

Lhayd935:

{{comic
| number = 1679
| date = May 11, 2016
| title = Substitutions 3
| image = substitutions_3.png
| titletext = BREAKING: Channing Tatum and his friends explore haunted city
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|just a stub. More examples from real life. Title text...}}
This is the third time [[Randall]] has suggested substitutions that will make reading the news more fun. This time it will be '''even''' more fun. It began with [[1288: Substitutions]] which was followed more recently by [[1625: Substitutions 2]].

The title text in original form would be "Scientists explore ancient city", which most would consider a fairly bland headline. Imagining Channing Tatum and his "friends", and pretending that the city is haunted, provides a much more dramatic setting mirroring many episodes (and later films) of ''Scooby Doo'' featuring a gang of friends (Mysteries, Inc.).

Real life examples:
*Remains to be seen ➜ Will never be known
**[http://english.cri.cn/12394/2016/04/30/4203s926079.htm Japan's Sincerity in Improving Bilateral Ties Will Never Be Known]
*Cautiously optimistic ➜ Delusional
**[http://jewishvoiceny.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=14455:london-jews-cautiously-optimistic-about-first-ever-muslim-mayor&catid=106:international&Itemid=289 London Jews Delusional About First-Ever Muslim Mayor]
*Silver Bullet ➜ Way to Kill Werewolves
**[http://moneymorning.com/2016/05/10/why-no-silver-bullet-will-ever-kill-crude-oil/ Why no Way to Kill Werewolves will Kill Crude Oil]
* Tension ➜ Sexual Tension; Meeting ➜ Ménage à Trois
**[http://townhall.com/tipsheet/cortneyobrien/2016/05/09/2016-race-roundup-tension-between-trumpryan-ahead-of-thursday-meeting-n2160407 Sexual Tension Between Trump-Ryan Ahead of Thursday Ménage à Trois]
*Gaffe ➜ Magic Spell
**[http://www.theguardian.com/politics/blog/2016/may/11/david-cameron-corruption-remark-gaffe Was David Cameron's corruption remark really a magic spell?]
*Ancient ➜ Haunted
**[http://gizmodo.com/teen-discovers-lost-maya-city-using-ancient-star-maps-1775735999 Teen Discovers Lost Maya City Using Haunted Star Maps]
*Star-Studded ➜ Blood-Soaked
**[http://ewn.co.za/2016/05/11/Woody-Allen-tops-bill-at-star-studded-Cannes-festival Woody Allen tops bill at blood-soaked Cannes Festival]
*Subway system ➜ Tunnels I found
**[http://pix11.com/2016/05/09/dhs-releasing-harmless-gas-in-nyc-subway-system-to-test-bioterror-airflow/ DHS releasing harmless gas in NYC tunnels I found to prepare for possible attack]
*Surprising ➜ Surprising (but not to me)
**[http://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2016/05/11/476198119/a-surprising-japanese-presence-in-central-ohio A Surprising (But Not to Me) Japanese Presence In Central Ohio]
*War of Words ➜ Interplanetary War
**[http://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/Coimbatore/road-caves-in-leading-to-war-of-words-between-aiadmk-and-dmk/article8577830.ece Road caves in leading to interplanetary war between AIADMK and DMK]
*Tension ➜ Sexual Tension
**[http://allafrica.com/stories/201605111244.html Uganda: Use Swearing-in to Ease Sexual Tension]
*Doctor Who ➜ The Big Bang Theory
**[http://www.themarysue.com/doctor-who-trans-identity/ On The Big Bang Theory and My Struggle With My Trans Identity]
*Win votes ➜ Find Pokémon
**[http://www.heraldscotland.com/news/14479510.Jeremy_Corbyn_must_urgently_develop_strategy_to_win_votes__warns_failed_leadership_candidate_Yvette_Cooper/ Labour's Jeremy Corbyn must urgently develop strategy to find Pokémon, warns failed leadership candidate Yvette Cooper]
*Behind the headlines ➜ Beyond the grave
**[http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/headlines-breaking-stories/411443/behind-the-headlines-the-erev-pesach-story-we-all-should-be-talking-about.html Beyond the Grave: The Erev Pesach Story We All Should Be Talking About]
*Email / Facebook Post / Tweet ➜ Poem
**[http://www.cbsnews.com/news/wtae-anchor-and-reporter-wendy-bell-apologizes-for-facebook-post-that-could-be-viewed-as-racist/ TV anchor admits poem about fatal shooting "could be viewed as racist"]
*Facebook CEO ➜ This guy
**[http://hotair.com/archives/2016/05/10/senator-thune-demands-answers-from-facebook-about-news-bias/ Senator Thune demands answers from this guy about news bias]
*Latest ➜ Final
**[http://www.engadget.com/2016/05/11/garmin-forerunner-735xt-running-watch/ Garmin's final running watch tracks your suffering]
*Disrupt ➜ Destroy
**[https://news.fastcompany.com/amazon-thinks-it-can-disrupt-youtube-4006719 Amazon thinks it can destroy YouTube]
*Scientists ➜ Channing Tatum and his friends
**[http://www.futurity.org/memory-acetylcholine-ptsd-1159862-2/ Channing Tatum and his friends test a way to erase scary memories]
*You won't believe ➜ I'm really sad about
**[http://www.komando.com/happening-now/357958/iphone-7-rumor-you-wont-believe-what-it-looks-like iPhone 7 rumor: I'm really sad about what it looks like]

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the panel:]
:Even More
:<big>'''Substitutions'''</big>
:That make reading the news more fun

:[A table of words/sentences on the left that change in to those on the left. Between each set of words there is an arrow pointing from right.]
:{|
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Gaffe
| ➜
| Magic spell
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Ancient
| ➜
| Haunted
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Star-Studded
| ➜
| Blood-soaked
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Remains to be seen
| ➜
| Will never be known
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Silver bullet
| ➜
| Way to kill werewolves
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Subway system
| ➜
| Tunnels I found
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Surprising
| ➜
| Surprising (but not to me)
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | War of words
| ➜
| Interplanetary war
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Tension
| ➜
| Sexual tension
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Cautiously optimistic
| ➜
| Delusional
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Doctor Who
| ➜
| The Big Bang Theory
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Win votes
| ➜
| Find Pokémon
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Behind the headlines
| ➜
| Beyond the grave
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Email \
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Facebook Post
| ➜
| Poem
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Tweet /
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Facebook CEO
| ➜
| This guy
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Latest
| ➜
| Final
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Disrupt
| ➜
| Destroy
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Meeting
| ➜
| Ménage à trois
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Scientists
| ➜
| Channing Tatum<br> and his friends
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | You won't believe
| ➜
| I'm really sad about
|}

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Substitutions]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Substitutions]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]] 
[[Category:Pokémon]]

1679: Substitutions 3

2016-05-11T16:00:54Z

Lhayd935:

{{comic
| number = 1679
| date = May 11, 2016
| title = Substitutions 3
| image = substitutions_3.png
| titletext = BREAKING: Channing Tatum and his friends explore haunted city
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|just a stub. More examples from real life. Title text...}}
This is the third time [[Randall]] has suggested substitutions that will make reading the news more fun. This time it will be '''even''' more fun. It began with [[1288: Substitutions]] which was followed more recently by [[1625: Substitutions 2]].

Real life examples:
*Remains to be seen ➜ Will never be known
**[http://english.cri.cn/12394/2016/04/30/4203s926079.htm Japan's Sincerity in Improving Bilateral Ties Will Never Be Known]
*Cautiously optimistic ➜ Delusional
**[http://jewishvoiceny.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=14455:london-jews-cautiously-optimistic-about-first-ever-muslim-mayor&catid=106:international&Itemid=289 London Jews Delusional About First-Ever Muslim Mayor]
*Silver Bullet ➜ Way to Kill Werewolves
**[http://moneymorning.com/2016/05/10/why-no-silver-bullet-will-ever-kill-crude-oil/ Why no Way to Kill Werewolves will Kill Crude Oil]
* Tension ➜ Sexual Tension; Meeting ➜ Ménage à Trois
**[http://townhall.com/tipsheet/cortneyobrien/2016/05/09/2016-race-roundup-tension-between-trumpryan-ahead-of-thursday-meeting-n2160407 Sexual Tension Between Trump-Ryan Ahead of Thursday Ménage à Trois]
*Gaffe ➜ Magic Spell
**[http://www.theguardian.com/politics/blog/2016/may/11/david-cameron-corruption-remark-gaffe Was David Cameron's corruption remark really a magic spell?]
*Ancient ➜ Haunted
**[http://gizmodo.com/teen-discovers-lost-maya-city-using-ancient-star-maps-1775735999 Teen Discovers Lost Maya City Using Haunted Star Maps]
*Star-Studded ➜ Blood-Soaked
**[http://ewn.co.za/2016/05/11/Woody-Allen-tops-bill-at-star-studded-Cannes-festival Woody Allen tops bill at blood-soaked Cannes Festival]
*Subway system ➜ Tunnels I found
**[http://pix11.com/2016/05/09/dhs-releasing-harmless-gas-in-nyc-subway-system-to-test-bioterror-airflow/ DHS releasing harmless gas in NYC tunnels I found to prepare for possible attack]
*Surprising ➜ Surprising (but not to me)
**[http://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2016/05/11/476198119/a-surprising-japanese-presence-in-central-ohio A Surprising (But Not to Me) Japanese Presence In Central Ohio]
*War of Words ➜ Interplanetary War
**[http://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/Coimbatore/road-caves-in-leading-to-war-of-words-between-aiadmk-and-dmk/article8577830.ece Road caves in leading to interplanetary war between AIADMK and DMK]
*Tension ➜ Sexual Tension
**[http://allafrica.com/stories/201605111244.html Uganda: Use Swearing-in to Ease Sexual Tension]
*Doctor Who ➜ The Big Bang Theory
**[http://www.themarysue.com/doctor-who-trans-identity/ On The Big Bang Theory and My Struggle With My Trans Identity]
*Win votes ➜ Find Pokémon
**[http://www.heraldscotland.com/news/14479510.Jeremy_Corbyn_must_urgently_develop_strategy_to_win_votes__warns_failed_leadership_candidate_Yvette_Cooper/ Labour's Jeremy Corbyn must urgently develop strategy to find Pokémon, warns failed leadership candidate Yvette Cooper]
*Behind the headlines ➜ Beyond the grave
**[http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/headlines-breaking-stories/411443/behind-the-headlines-the-erev-pesach-story-we-all-should-be-talking-about.html Beyond the Grave: The Erev Pesach Story We All Should Be Talking About]
*Email / Facebook Post / Tweet ➜ Poem
**[http://www.cbsnews.com/news/wtae-anchor-and-reporter-wendy-bell-apologizes-for-facebook-post-that-could-be-viewed-as-racist/ TV anchor admits poem about fatal shooting "could be viewed as racist"]
*Facebook CEO ➜ This guy
**[http://hotair.com/archives/2016/05/10/senator-thune-demands-answers-from-facebook-about-news-bias/ Senator Thune demands answers from this guy about news bias]
*Latest ➜ Final
**[http://www.engadget.com/2016/05/11/garmin-forerunner-735xt-running-watch/ Garmin's final running watch tracks your suffering]
*Disrupt ➜ Destroy
**[https://news.fastcompany.com/amazon-thinks-it-can-disrupt-youtube-4006719 Amazon thinks it can destroy YouTube]
\*Scientists ➜ Channing Tatum and his friends
**[http://www.futurity.org/memory-acetylcholine-ptsd-1159862-2/ Channing Tatum and his friends test a way to erase scary memories]
*You won't believe ➜ I'm really sad about
**[http://www.komando.com/happening-now/357958/iphone-7-rumor-you-wont-believe-what-it-looks-like iPhone 7 rumor: I'm really sad about what it looks like]

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the panel:]
:Even More
:<big>'''Substitutions'''</big>
:That make reading the news more fun

:[A table of words/sentences on the left that change in to those on the left. Between each set of words there is an arrow pointing from right.]
:{|
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Gaffe
| ➜
| Magic spell
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Ancient
| ➜
| Haunted
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Star-Studded
| ➜
| Blood-soaked
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Remains to be seen
| ➜
| Will never be known
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Silver bullet
| ➜
| Way to kill werewolves
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Subway system
| ➜
| Tunnels I found
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Surprising
| ➜
| Surprising (but not to me)
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | War of words
| ➜
| Interplanetary war
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Tension
| ➜
| Sexual tension
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Cautiously optimistic
| ➜
| Delusional
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Doctor Who
| ➜
| The Big Bang Theory
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Win votes
| ➜
| Find Pokémon
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Behind the headlines
| ➜
| Beyond the grave
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Email \
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Facebook Post
| ➜
| Poem
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Tweet /
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Facebook CEO
| ➜
| This guy
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Latest
| ➜
| Final
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Disrupt
| ➜
| Destroy
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Meeting
| ➜
| Ménage à trois
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Scientists
| ➜
| Channing Tatum<br> and his friends
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | You won't believe
| ➜
| I'm really sad about
|}

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Substitutions]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Substitutions]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]] 
[[Category:Pokémon]]

1679: Substitutions 3

2016-05-11T15:59:48Z

Lhayd935: Added examples

{{comic
| number = 1679
| date = May 11, 2016
| title = Substitutions 3
| image = substitutions_3.png
| titletext = BREAKING: Channing Tatum and his friends explore haunted city
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|just a stub. More examples from real life. Title text...}}
This is the third time [[Randall]] has suggested substitutions that will make reading the news more fun. This time it will be '''even''' more fun. It began with [[1288: Substitutions]] which was followed more recently by [[1625: Substitutions 2]].

Real life examples:
*Remains to be seen ➜ Will never be known
**[http://english.cri.cn/12394/2016/04/30/4203s926079.htm Japan's Sincerity in Improving Bilateral Ties Will Never Be Known]
*Cautiously optimistic ➜ Delusional
**[http://jewishvoiceny.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=14455:london-jews-cautiously-optimistic-about-first-ever-muslim-mayor&catid=106:international&Itemid=289 London Jews Delusional About First-Ever Muslim Mayor]
*Silver Bullet ➜ Way to Kill Werewolves
**[http://moneymorning.com/2016/05/10/why-no-silver-bullet-will-ever-kill-crude-oil/ Why no Way to Kill Werewolves will Kill Crude Oil]
* Tension ➜ Sexual Tension; Meeting ➜ Ménage à Trois
**[http://townhall.com/tipsheet/cortneyobrien/2016/05/09/2016-race-roundup-tension-between-trumpryan-ahead-of-thursday-meeting-n2160407 Sexual Tension Between Trump-Ryan Ahead of Thursday Ménage à Trois]
*Gaffe ➜ Magic Spell
**[http://www.theguardian.com/politics/blog/2016/may/11/david-cameron-corruption-remark-gaffe Was David Cameron's corruption remark really a magic spell?]
*Ancient ➜ Haunted
**[http://gizmodo.com/teen-discovers-lost-maya-city-using-ancient-star-maps-1775735999 Teen Discovers Lost Maya City Using Haunted Star Maps]
*Star-Studded ➜ Blood-Soaked
**[http://ewn.co.za/2016/05/11/Woody-Allen-tops-bill-at-star-studded-Cannes-festival Woody Allen tops bill at blood-soaked Cannes Festival]
**[http://moneymorning.com/2016/05/10/why-no-silver-bullet-will-ever-kill-crude-oil/ Why no Way to Kill Werewolves will Kill Crude Oil]
*Subway system ➜ Tunnels I found
**[http://pix11.com/2016/05/09/dhs-releasing-harmless-gas-in-nyc-subway-system-to-test-bioterror-airflow/ DHS releasing harmless gas in NYC tunnels I found to prepare for possible attack]
*Surprising ➜ Surprising (but not to me)
**[http://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2016/05/11/476198119/a-surprising-japanese-presence-in-central-ohio A Surprising (But Not to Me) Japanese Presence In Central Ohio]
*War of Words ➜ Interplanetary War
**[http://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/Coimbatore/road-caves-in-leading-to-war-of-words-between-aiadmk-and-dmk/article8577830.ece Road caves in leading to interplanetary war between AIADMK and DMK]
*Tension ➜ Sexual Tension
**[http://allafrica.com/stories/201605111244.html Uganda: Use Swearing-in to Ease Sexual Tension]
*Doctor Who ➜ The Big Bang Theory
**[http://www.themarysue.com/doctor-who-trans-identity/ On The Big Bang Theory and My Struggle With My Trans Identity]
*Win votes ➜ Find Pokémon
**[http://www.heraldscotland.com/news/14479510.Jeremy_Corbyn_must_urgently_develop_strategy_to_win_votes__warns_failed_leadership_candidate_Yvette_Cooper/ Labour's Jeremy Corbyn must urgently develop strategy to find Pokémon, warns failed leadership candidate Yvette Cooper]
*Behind the headlines ➜ Beyond the grave
**[http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/headlines-breaking-stories/411443/behind-the-headlines-the-erev-pesach-story-we-all-should-be-talking-about.html Beyond the Grave: The Erev Pesach Story We All Should Be Talking About]
*Email / Facebook Post / Tweet ➜ Poem
**[http://www.cbsnews.com/news/wtae-anchor-and-reporter-wendy-bell-apologizes-for-facebook-post-that-could-be-viewed-as-racist/ TV anchor admits poem about fatal shooting "could be viewed as racist"]
*Facebook CEO ➜ This guy
**[http://hotair.com/archives/2016/05/10/senator-thune-demands-answers-from-facebook-about-news-bias/ Senator Thune demands answers from this guy about news bias]
*Latest ➜ Final
**[http://www.engadget.com/2016/05/11/garmin-forerunner-735xt-running-watch/ Garmin's final running watch tracks your suffering]
*Disrupt ➜ Destroy
**[https://news.fastcompany.com/amazon-thinks-it-can-disrupt-youtube-4006719 Amazon thinks it can destroy YouTube]
\*Scientists ➜ Channing Tatum and his friends
**[http://www.futurity.org/memory-acetylcholine-ptsd-1159862-2/ Channing Tatum and his friends test a way to erase scary memories]
*You won't believe ➜ I'm really sad about
**[http://www.komando.com/happening-now/357958/iphone-7-rumor-you-wont-believe-what-it-looks-like iPhone 7 rumor: I'm really sad about what it looks like]

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the panel:]
:Even More
:<big>'''Substitutions'''</big>
:That make reading the news more fun

:[A table of words/sentences on the left that change in to those on the left. Between each set of words there is an arrow pointing from right.]
:{|
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Gaffe
| ➜
| Magic spell
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Ancient
| ➜
| Haunted
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Star-Studded
| ➜
| Blood-soaked
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Remains to be seen
| ➜
| Will never be known
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Silver bullet
| ➜
| Way to kill werewolves
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Subway system
| ➜
| Tunnels I found
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Surprising
| ➜
| Surprising (but not to me)
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | War of words
| ➜
| Interplanetary war
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Tension
| ➜
| Sexual tension
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Cautiously optimistic
| ➜
| Delusional
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Doctor Who
| ➜
| The Big Bang Theory
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Win votes
| ➜
| Find Pokémon
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Behind the headlines
| ➜
| Beyond the grave
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Email \
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Facebook Post
| ➜
| Poem
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Tweet /
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Facebook CEO
| ➜
| This guy
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Latest
| ➜
| Final
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Disrupt
| ➜
| Destroy
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Meeting
| ➜
| Ménage à trois
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | Scientists
| ➜
| Channing Tatum<br> and his friends
|-
| style="text-align:right;" | You won't believe
| ➜
| I'm really sad about
|}

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Substitutions]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Substitutions]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]] 
[[Category:Pokémon]]