explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1039: RuBisCO

2019-03-09T17:17:06Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1039
| date = April 6, 2012
| title = RuBisCO
| image = rubisco.png
| titletext = Bruce Schneier believes safewords are fundamentally insecure and recommends that you ask your partner to stop via public key signature.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Safeword|Safe words}} are designated words for sexual play which are meant to be called if one partner is uncomfortable with the way things are proceeding as alternatives to simply saying "no" or "stop", which may be used to express ''playacted'' reluctance by a submissive partner who actually wants to continue. Calling the pre-chosen "safe word" would be a sign to stop. To prevent accidental usage, people generally pick words that they wouldn't normally use, such as "Pineapple" or "Hedgehog." In the case of this comic, the characters are chemists, and the uncommon word they happen to have chosen is {{w|RuBisCO|Ribulose-bisphosphate carboxylase oxygenase}}, also known as RuBisCO (which actually isn't a very uncommon word in the scientific world, as it's the most abundant {{w|protein}} on earth, but it would be uncommon to use the full word). However, the length of the word makes it impractical for a safe word, as it would take too long to say; indeed, using the shorter form "RuBisCO" would normally be a fine safe word.

The title text mentions {{w|Bruce Schneier}}, a computer security professional, and public keys which is the publicly known half of {{w|public-key cryptography}}, which uses two mathematically linked keys to decrypt information. The joke is that Schneier considers safewords as a type of security and thus believes they are not safe enough and recommend the key signature. However, whereas it takes a long time to say RuBisCO in full during your submission, it would be impossible to use any public keys to stop your partner.

==Transcript==
:[Person in background (out-of-frame) screams out this word over all 3 panels.]

:Sub: RIBULOSEBISPH..

:Sub: ...OSPHATECARBOXYL...

:Sub: ...ASEOXYGENASE!
:Dom: Oh, Sorry!
:Megan: Man, chemists pick the worst safewords.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Cryptography]]

1792: Bird/Plane/Superman

2019-01-13T12:29:39Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1792
| date = January 30, 2017
| title = Bird/Plane/Superman
| image = bird_plane_superman.png
| titletext = You can apply special translucent films to your windows to help keep birds/Superman from accidentally flying into them.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a logical comparison of observations to resolve the [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0034247/quotes?item=qt0317455 classic Superman catchphrase] of comic book bystanders: "Look, up in the sky... It's a {{w|bird}}!... It's a {{w|Airplane|plane}}!... It's {{w|Superman}}!", hence the title. Superman, a character originally created for comic books in the 1930's, is an alien with superpowers, including the power of unaided flight; hence the catchphrase exclaiming peoples' amazement.

At the correct distance both birds, planes and the fictive Superman could be mistaken for each other. So this comic aims to help people identify the airborne object by listing on which properties they are alike and on which they are different. This problem was also mentioned in the title text of [[1633: Possible Undiscovered Planets]], putting Superman near the bird/plane boundary explaining why all this confusion has arisen.

The observations compared range from the mundane to the bizarre and they are listed and explained below in the [[#Table|table]]. Here some highlights are mentioned, but for all these there are much more detail below.

Some of the mundane observations are that birds don't fly around with people, while Superman can do it, and planes are meant for it; and that the latter two are new "inventions", whereas birds have flown around for millions of years.

Interestingly enough there are actually two observations that have check mark for all three; the first being that there are enthusiasts for all three different flying objects. And these will obsess over small color details in otherwise similar looking objects. The other common thing is that they all may have sex in midair. The possibility of that happening for the all three are discussed in the table.

Three observations only counts for birds, where all those that do not count for birds do count for both planes and superman. Two of these relates to the fact that birds are eaten by cats and humans, the last is that birds flap their wings to fly, the others have other means of flight. There are observations that rules out only planes or only superman, but none that rules out only one of them at the same time as birds are ruled out.

There are also three direct jokes towards the bottom. The first is that {{w|David Attenborough}} may also have observed Superman's mating habits just like he has with birds in the documentary series {{w|The Life of Birds}}. The second is that not only birds poop in flight, but that Superman could and would also do so. And the third (and also final observation) is that not only birds chase insects to eat them, but Superman also chases them... though only when he is bored. These last three observations have that in common that the planes are left out of all of them, and the joke is always on Superman. As it has been before in [[1384: Krypton]] and [[1394: Superm*n]] (released just ten comics apart).

The title text refers to black stickers (decals) in the shape of an easily recognizable predatory bird, like {{w|falcons}} to enhance the visibility of clear glass windows or doors and scare smaller birds away before they crash into the window. This may actually not work very well according to this article: [https://www.allaboutbirds.org/why-birds-hit-windows-and-how-you-can-help-prevent-it/ Why Birds Hit Windows], where a falcon decal is also shown. But they are meant to warn birds away and according to this comic they could also prevent Superman from flying through your window (and thus also stop him from possibly just continue through the building). They are not known to affect the risk of airplanes flying into the building.{{Citation needed}}

===Table===
{| class="wikitable"
!style="width: style="width: 55%;"| !!style="width: style="width: 15%;"| Bird !!style="width: style="width: 15%;"| Plane !! Superman
|-
!colspan=4| Explanation
|-
! Carries people || || ✓ || ✓
|-
|colspan=4| Some birds are capable of flying off while carrying a small human away, but this happens extremely rarely (although hoax stories are often reported). Of course an {{w|Ostrich}} can easily carry a human; they have done so often in arranged {{w|Ostrich#Racing|races}}. But as they cannot fly (with or without humans on their back), and this comic is about recognizing objects in the air, this will not affect the check mark! Most planes are specifically designed to carry human passengers, although many are cargo planes with humans only acting as crew, and autonomous drones without humans also exist. Superman often carries other people with him, such as his {{w|Lois Lane|girlfriend}}, rescued victims or the various villains that people need to be rescued from.
|-
! Often flies in groups || ✓ || ✓ ||
|-
|colspan=4| Many types of birds fly in flocks, particularly during long-range {{w|Bird migration|migrations}}. Some birds often fly in the {{w|V formation}} which has also been {{w|V_formation#Military_flight_missions|copied by planes}}. This formation has been used at least twice in xkcd in [[1440: Geese]] and recently in [[1729: Migrating Geese]] (notice the similarity in number of that bird comic compared to the one for this comic). Planes sometimes fly in {{w|Formation flying|group formation}}, particularly when engaged in military operations where mutual support is tactically useful (or when conducting practice maneuvers for such operations). Though the people who would mistake those planes for birds will mainly see this at {{w|Air show|air shows}}. Superman is a unique person, and thus does not fly in groups of Supermen. While Superman occasionally operates alongside other flying superheroes, and in some stories is duplicated or split into multiple beings, Randall apparently considers these circumstances too unusual to meet the "often" qualifier.
|-
! Created in 20th century || || ✓ || ✓
|-
|colspan=4| Birds evolved from dinosaurs, appearing as early as the Late Jurassic period, roughly 150 million years ago. That birds evolved from dinosaur who also had wings with feathers before they evolved on to becoming birds has often been referenced by Randall in comics like [[1104: Feathers]], [[1211: Birds and Dinosaurs]] and the title texts of [[867: Herpetology]] and [[1527: Humans]] The {{w|Wright_Flyer#Flight_trials_at_Kitty_Hawk|first successful flight}} of a powered heavier-than-air craft took place on December 17, 1903 and was performed by the {{w|Wright brothers}}. There are several other claims for the first such flight, for instance {{w|Alberto_Santos-Dumont#Heavier-than-air_craft|Alberto Santos-Dumont}} from Brazil [https://youtu.be/N_qXm9HY9Ro?t=2156 was given a spot] at the {{w|2016 Summer Olympics opening ceremony|opening ceremony}} of the {{w|2016 Summer Olympics|Rio 2016 Olympic Games}}. Superman first appeared in {{w|Action Comics 1|''Action Comics'' #1}}, published in June 1938.
|-
! Uses magnetic navigation || ✓ || ✓ ||
|-
|colspan=4| Some types of birds use {{w|magnetoreception}} to navigate using the earth's magnetic field as a guide. Artificial {{w|Compass#Magnetic_compass|magnetic compasses}}, along with other navigational equipment, are used by planes. Superman, while possessing a {{w|Powers and abilities of Superman|plethora of super-senses/powers}}, does not appear to be particularly sensitive to {{w|magnetism}}.
|-
! Enthusiast community obsesses over small coloration details || ✓ || ✓ || ✓
|-
|colspan=4| {{w|Birdwatching|Birdwatchers}} identify bird species by a range of characteristics, including small details in the bird's color pattern which identify one species apart from another. Similarly, airplane hobbyists and {{w|Aircraft spotting|plane spotters}} take note of the colors of a plane's paint job and insignia. Comics fans can similarly identify the artist and date of a depiction of Superman by the coloration and configuration of his costume and be obsessed with their favorite coloration being the canon.
|-
! Preyed on by cats || ✓ || ||
|-
|colspan=4| {{w|Cats}} kill several billion birds a year, often - but not always - eating them. There has never been a case of a cat successfully catching and eating a plane.{{Citation needed}} As Superman is a fictional character the same goes for him, but also in the comics he has never been eaten by a cat, although he has been [http://www.themarysue.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/power-girl-22.jpg devoured by a dinosaur] although that (probably) did not kill him...
|-
! Occasional mid-air sex || ✓ || ✓ || ✓
|-
|colspan=4| Almost no bird species have sex in flight. Hummingbirds, for example, engage in courting behavior which one might falsely identify as sex (explained in this article [http://animals.howstuffworks.com/birds/hummingbird-sex1.htm Do hummingbirds have sex in midair?]). This article [http://www.livescience.com/38379-animal-sex-bird-sex.html Animal Sex: How Birds Do It] explains how birds in general have sex. However, this article [http://www.commonswift.org/Aerial-mating.html Aerial mating] points out that the common swift (Apus apus) engages in mid-air sex, an act presumably caught on video [https://vimeo.com/78453839 here]. {{w|Mile high club|Mid-air sex}} involving planes usually involves passengers (and potentially air crew), not the plane itself. However, this could also be a metaphorical reference to {{w|Aerial refueling|in-flight refueling}} (such as the depiction, set to romantic music, in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qs7EikHQGlA the opening scene] of the movie ''{{w|Dr. Strangelove}}'', a movie Randall has referenced before for instance in [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/2/21/1608_1020x1083y_Torpedoes_two_steps_above_Runner_with_Beret_Guy.png this scene] from [[1608: Hoverboard]]) It could also refer to [http://avstop.com/news/plantcity.html this incident] where one plane landed atop another in mid-air. As for Superman, there have been occasional moments in the comics which indicate or at least imply that he sometimes engages in mid-air sex.
|-
! Eaten during seasonal feasts || ✓ || ||
|-
|colspan=4| {{w|Turkey (bird)|Turkeys}}, a type of bird, are eaten by Americans during {{w|Thanksgiving}}, a "seasonal feast" held on the fourth Thursday of November of each year. Britons eat Turkey or {{w|Goose}} at {{w|Christmas}}, in other countries it may be {{w|ducks}} instead. It is unlikely that normal humans would eat a plane, however it has been done by {{w|Michel Lotito}} who has digested an entire {{w|Cessna 150|Cessna}} aircraft. However he used two years to consume the plane, so although he may have eaten some parts during holidays, he did not do it because there was a seasonal feast. Superman is too strong and "made of steel" for him to let any human eat him. But as also mentioned above he has been [http://www.themarysue.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/power-girl-22.jpg devoured by a dinosaur] although that probably did not kill him... Referring back to the possible sex Superman has had in flight, it seems he is able to have sex with a human. Although the slang ''{{w|Cunnilingus|eat me}}'' (link NSFW), usually mean the man eating the woman,[http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=eat%20me it can also be used] the other way around. In this case Superman could have had holiday-sex with his girlfriend, where she ate him.
|-
! Propelled by flapping || ✓ || ||
|-
|colspan=4| Birds fly by flapping their wings.{{Citation needed}} Planes have fixed wings, and fly by maintaining forward velocity and exploiting the aerodynamic effects of air flowing over the upper and lower wing surfaces, which are shaped and angled to produce lift. Superman flies using superpowers which require neither wings nor flapping.
|-
! Sometimes loses ability to fly, needs to sunbathe to regain it || ✓ || || ✓
|-
|colspan=4| Birds can "lose" the ability to fly, if their wings are weighed down by water from swimming. One way for birds to dry out their wings is to [http://birding.about.com/od/birdbehavior/a/Bird-Sunning.htm sunbathe]. An airplane can lose its ability to fly, but no issues occurring in modern aircraft can be fixed by sunbathing, except in some {{w|Solar Impulse|experimental solar-powered aircraft}}. As for Superman, he is at risk of losing his superpowers, including flight, with prolonged exposure to {{w|Kryptonite}}, which makes him weak. Also the rays from the sun at his home planet {{w|Krypton (comics)|Krypton}} can {{w|Superman_II#Plot|remove his super powers}} as it happened in ''{{w|Superman II}}''. Superman's ability to fly is a superpower caused by "electromagnetic radiation from the rays of a yellow sun", so he could regain his strength and superhuman abilities through sunbathing in the {{w|Sun|Sun's}} light here on Earth. Which was how he got his super powers in the first place.
|-
! Can take a punch || || ✓ || ✓
|-
|colspan=4| Many birds are small and fragile creatures, whose {{w|Bird_anatomy#Skeletal_system|bone structures}} are meant to be light in order to fly, and thus are not very durable. If a man punched, say, a {{w|pigeon}}, he could probably break/dislocate most of its bones, either killing it immediately or leaving it in a state from which it will probably never ever recover on its own. However, there are definitely some big, {{w|flightless birds}} that could take a punch from a human such as ostriches and {{w|emus}}, but since both are large creatures that would probably react by fighting back, it would not be wise to try. Also Randall is (again) plainly ignoring this type of birds as they cannot fly and this comic is about making mistakes regarding things flying through the air (typically far enough away from the observer to mistake a pigeon for a plane). Planes are usually massive, or at least big enough to carry a human, and have to be made of materials durable enough to withstand hurtling through the sky at hundreds of miles an hour reliably on a regular basis. You could definitely punch one safely. (Meaning safe for the plane, not your hand.) One of Superman's (the {{w|Man of Steel (film)|Man of Steel}}) trademark abilities is his near indestructibility; a punch from any regular human would not hurt him, but again hurt the hand.
|-
! Mating behavior often observed by a hidden David Attenborough || ✓ || || Not that we know of
|-
|colspan=4| {{w|David Attenborough}} is an English broadcaster and naturalist, who produced a documentary series ''{{w|The Life of Birds}}''. Included in the series is an episode entitled "Finding Partners", which discussed {{w|Bird#Breeding|mating rituals of birds}}. That these can be very strange has been mentioned in the title text of [[1747: Spider Paleontology]], of course in relation to Dinosaur behavior. Planes are dead inanimate objects with no mating behavior.{{Citation needed}} However, referring back to the observations made under the ''Occasional mid-air sex'' explanation it could be discussed if this was mating behavior. Also there are movies like ''{{w|Planes (film)|Planes}}'' and it's {{w|Planes: Fire & Rescue|sequel}} has living planes, which could mate. But Randall may know for sure that Attenborough is not interested in those. The comic states that we don't know for sure if Attenborough has observed Superman's mating behavior. As Superman doesn't exist,{{Citation needed}} Attenborough has not seen Superman in reality (which would lead to a "No" response), but maybe Attenborough has watched all the movies in which Superman courts {{w|Lois Lane}} just to observe Superman's (made up) mating behavior (which would lead to a "Yes" response). Since we do not know Attenborough's habits, this leads to Randall giving the "Not that we know of" response.
|-
! Capable of intentionally releasing poop mid-flight || ✓ || || ✓
|-
|colspan=4| Birds often poop during flight, often enough that people regularly get hit in the head by the poop, which has caused the unlucky people to come up with the [http://thepetwiki.com/wiki/Pets_and_Superstitions superstition] that it brings good luck. For birds it is just economical to shed excess mass when they are going to fly, and many birds poop just at take off. But on long flights it the best use of resources to not carry extra weight along, that increases their efficiency. Unlike {{w|mammals}} who pee {{w|urea}}, {{w|Bird#Excretory_system|bird poop}} is both pee and feces as birds only have one hole, a {{w|cloaca}}, and the black poop is surrounded by their pee which is the white stuff containing {{w|uric acid}}. Not peeing lots of water out reduces their water loss. Some planes may be able to intentionally purge their septic tanks mid-flight, depending on the design of the waste interlocks, especially assuming the controls are inside the cockpit or cabin. As the TV show ''MythBusters'' has shown, a leaky septic disposal system can unintentionally lose liquid waste and cause a "blue ice" sighting on the ground. This is, however, not the planes poop and also not the plane that released it intentionally, and planes are not supposed to do this. Superman, being more or less human, could be capable of pooping during flight, but this would generally result in unnecessary drycleaning bills. But he has probably never been shown to either take a leak or poop in any of the {{w|Canon (fiction)|canon}} comics, books or films. So he may not even be able to poop! But Randall assumes he can.
|-
! Chases and eats bugs || ✓ || || Only when bored
|-
|colspan=4| Many bird species prey on insects and similar-sized animals. Planes often fly into and kill insects (as well as birds, and sometimes humans), but this is unintentional and doesn't provide them with nutritional value,{{Citation needed}} and they certainly do not chase them around. Superman is not known for eating insects, but Randall implies that he does sometimes, but only when he's bored. This could be interpreted as if he then tries to avoid his boredom by chasing the bugs intentionally, but why also eat them then? So it would probably rather happen because if you fly around while bored you might yawn at the wrong time and {{w|There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly|swallow a fly}}, just like when riding on a bike or any other relatively fast but open vehicle.
|}

==Transcript==

{| class="wikitable"
! !! Bird !! Plane !! Superman
|-
| Carries people || || ✓ || ✓
|-
| Often flies in groups || ✓ || ✓ ||
|-
| Created in 20th century || || ✓ || ✓
|-
| Uses magnetic navigation || ✓ || ✓ ||
|-
| Enthusiast community obsesses over small coloration details || ✓ || ✓ || ✓
|-
| Preyed on by cats || ✓ || ||
|-
| Occasional mid-air sex || ✓ || ✓ || ✓
|-
| Eaten during seasonal feasts || ✓ || ||
|-
| Propelled by flapping || ✓ || ||
|-
| Sometimes loses ability to fly, needs to sunbathe to regain it || ✓ || || ✓
|-
| Can take a punch || || ✓ || ✓
|-
| Mating behaviour often observed by a hidden David Attenborough || ✓ || || Not that we know of
|-
| Capable of intentionally releasing poop mid-flight || ✓ || || ✓
|-
| Chases and eats bugs || ✓ || || Only when bored
|-
|}

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Food]]

Talk:1849: Decades

2017-06-24T11:14:32Z

LuigiBrick:

There seems to be a slightly tongue-in-cheek move to call the 2000's "the noughties" with the obvious implication of 'naughty'. Personally though I'm still waiting for everyone to stop saying "2000 and something, it very annoying! [[User:RoyT|RoyT]] ([[User talk:RoyT|talk]]) 14:38, 12 June 2017 (UTC)
:Some people I know use the term "double-o's" for the period 2001-2009. Perhaps inspired by 007. --[[User:Nialpxe|Nialpxe]], 2017. [[User_talk:Nialpxe|(Arguments welcome)]] 02:30, 13 June 2017 (UTC)

Where would the descriptor "millennial" (adj) fit on this? I suggest that 00's fads be designated "millennial" and 10's fads be... forgotten.
[[Special:Contributions/173.245.48.171|173.245.48.171]] 14:57, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

Just a quick note to highlight the double "and" in the text: "(...) is ambiguous and and "aughts" (...)"
[[Special:Contributions/162.158.6.52|162.158.6.52]] 14:43, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

Good eyes on the double 'and'. Perhaps the explanation needs a sections about other terms not mentioned here "teensies" "noughties" "tenies" etc. (and perhaps the Aughts aren't used due to cultural differences between Brits and Americans, the former more likely to call them the "Noughts"). Also I assume the title text refers to Randal's local variety radio. [[User:WamSam|WamSam]] ([[User talk:WamSam|talk]]) 15:07, 12 June 2017 (UTC)
: It's no phenomenom of English language. In Germany "80er, 90er und heute" is used quite frequently by several radio stations. [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 06:48, 13 June 2017 (UTC)

: Around here (UK) I'm used to hearing "80s, 90s, and now". Seems a bit weird on a 'classic' radio station who didn't play music from the current decade until the 2k rebranding. - [[Special:Contributions/162.158.154.109|162.158.154.109]] 08:37, 13 June 2017 (UTC)

I listen to a radio station that says "90s, 2K, and today." It's not the only time I've seen "2K" used for the first decade of the 2000s {{unsigned ip|162.158.62.75}}

2K might end up being the accepted form. It might morph into "the 2-10s," "the 2-20s," "the 2-30s," and so on. It differentiates the seperate centuries and is short enough to survive the endless grinding of popular culture. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.40|108.162.216.40]] 23:49, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

I propose the Decade of Good Vision (2020s) [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.190|108.162.216.190]] 13:17, 16 June 2017 (UTC))
:I see what you did there. [[User:These Are Not The Comments You Are Looking For|These Are Not The Comments You Are Looking For]] ([[User talk:These Are Not The Comments You Are Looking For|talk]]) 01:34, 18 June 2017 (UTC)

My local variety station has been says "80s, 90s and today" since the mid-90s, which was really odd for the 5 years or so that it was redundant. {{unsigned ip|172.68.78.28}}

Around here "the zeroes" is commonly used. {{unsigned ip|141.101.76.46}}

;Next Comic
<pre>
COST-BENEFIT ANALYSIS:
|< <PREV RANDOM NEXT> >|
|---------------------------| |----------------------------| |----------------------------| |----------------------------|
| Normal Company | | Stingy Company | | Bored Economist | | *crash* |
| | | | | | | |
| Is it worth it Let's | | Is cost- Let's do | | I built a Did you | | |
| to spend that do cost- | | Benefit Cost-Benefit | | machine to do do cost- | | No, why? YOU FOOL! |
| much on benefit | | analysis analysis to | | cost-benefit benefit | | YOU'VE |
| development? analysis | | worth it? see | | analysis analysis? | | DOOMED US ALL!!|
| / / | | / / | | / / | | / / |
| O 0 | | O 0 | | O 0 | | O 0 |
| /|\ /|\ | | /|\ /|\ | | /|\ /|\ | | /|\ /|\ |
| / \ / \ | | / \ / \ | | / \ / \ | | / \ / \ |
| | | | | | | *rumble* |
|---------------------------| |----------------------------| |----------------------------| |----------------------------|
</pre>
{{unsigned ip|173.245.50.102}}

Does this mean that there are supposed to be comments on the "next comic". One of the problems with the discussion is that there can be predictive cost/benefits analysis (done before the project is carried out) and retrospective cost/benefits analysis (done sometime after the project is complete). Retrospective cost/benefits analysis can be used to review the accuracy of predictive cost/benefits analysis. If the accuracy is not verified, the value of the analysis is indeterminate. Are the costs all costs or simply costs that are assigned to the evaluating organization? What is the organization for which benefits are to be calculated? Have the effects of Campbell's Law https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Campbell%27s_law and Goodhart's Law https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goodhart%27s_law been taken into account? [[User:BradleyRoss|BradleyRoss]] ([[User talk:BradleyRoss|talk]]) 16:17, 13 June 2017 (UTC)

:@173.245.50.102 Wait, what? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.154.163|162.158.154.163]] 06:23, 13 June 2017 (UTC)
:Aaaaaand evidently not. :) Perhaps being revealed here made him change it? LOL! [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 03:16, 16 June 2017 (UTC)

What does Randall usually do when there is typo/grammatical error in a comic? Will he correct it and re-upload it, or just leave it?
[[Special:Contributions/172.68.58.149|172.68.58.149]] 23:02, 12 June 2017 (UTC)
:He'll often notice errors and upload corrected versions, though as of this comment he hasn't yet (nearly 3AM Eastern). Then that fact ends up as trivia here. For example, a few comics ago, the map of America with a word in each state, a paragraph saying how you can make maps like this show whatever you want, he had missed the line separating New Hampshire and Maine, and later the line was there. Same with text errors, a month or two ago was a comic saying "defeatest", then later "defeatist". [[User:NiceGuy1|NiceGuy1]] ([[User talk:NiceGuy1|talk]]) 06:52, 13 June 2017 (UTC)

Wouldn't we run into the same issue in 2020? Since contemporary radio stations are always naming the previous two decades (this formula seems to apply worldwide, it at least does in germany) we wouldn't be able to name them in 2020. "The best hits of the last two decades!"? "You're tuning in to DCKX 102.5! Where we play music - sometimes, duh!"? [[Special:Contributions/162.158.92.118|162.158.92.118]] 07:28, 13 June 2017 (UTC)

my daughter (2009) gleefully uses the term "noughties" since that makes her homophonously "naughty". she's not so keen on her siblings (2011) being "teens" although that may change when she actually becomes one herself. as with so many things, it's not ultimately up to the old to decide these things. --[[Special:Contributions/141.101.107.18|141.101.107.18]] 11:48, 13 June 2017 (UTC)

Seems like radio stations all around the world used the exact same slogan of "the best of the 80's, 90's and the best from today". I know one radio station that changed it to "80's, 90's, 2000's and the best from today" some time after 2010. But I'm not really that keen to listen to radio long enough to find out if they changed it again. :( [[Special:Contributions/162.158.202.220|162.158.202.220]] 16:39, 13 June 2017 (UTC)

"the best music from the 80's to the 20's"? [[Special:Contributions/141.101.76.202|141.101.76.202]] 07:10, 15 June 2017 (UTC)

What I'm wondering: What'll they do after 2030? The term "The 20s" already means something, the 1920s. 20s dance, music and fashion are already quite iconic, and still referenced (right now immediately comes to mind is an episode of Making History from maybe 2 months ago, where they went back to that time. Will a radio station's "20's Hour" mean the 1920s or 2020s? LOL! (Imagine it being both)

Some of my friends and I started calling this decade the "tenties" not too long ago, mostly because of how stupid it sounds. "Teens" sounds much better. [[User:LuigiBrick|LuigiBrick]] ([[User talk:LuigiBrick|talk]]) 11:14, 24 June 2017 (UTC)

1836: Okeanos

2017-06-02T12:18:12Z

LuigiBrick: /* Table of comments */

{{comic
| number = 1836
| date = May 12, 2017
| title = Okeanos
| image = okeanos.png
| titletext = WHEN I WAS ON A BOAT I DROPPED MY PHONE CAN U LOOK FOR IT
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Chat comments still need more explanation.}}
The {{w|NOAAS_Okeanos_Explorer_(R_337)|NOAAS Okeanos Explorer}}, named after the Greek (and Roman) personification of the sea {{w|Okeanos}}, is a vessel that is currently exploring the Central Pacific Basin. It livestreams the video feed [http://oceanexplorer.noaa.gov/okeanos/media/exstream/exstream.html] of its deep sea exploration online.

This comic seems to be a representation of the livestream on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmVT36Axtn0]; see the [[#Table of comments|table]] below for details.

The chat section for the actual livestream is disabled, but the comic adds some humorous examples of what the chat section would look like. Several of the examples are the product of commenters falsely believing the livestream is that of a game, probably since most livestreams on YouTube are of people playing games; [[Randall]] is joking about the viewers of said streams in particular not being able to tell the difference, as well as YouTube commenters in general. Randall has mentioned the ridiculousness of comments on YouTube before in both [[202: YouTube]] and [[481: Listen to Yourself]].

In the caption below Randall states that he likes to view the stream and commends them on disabling the chat section, for the reasons given in the comic above.

The title text is yet another comment by someone who dropped their phone in the ocean from a boat, and now wants to use Okeanos' resources to find it, which is of course impossible, as the phone will by now be hidden in the silt on the bottom. And even if not, the chance of finding anything dropped in the {{w|pacific ocean}}, the largest Ocean on the Earth, is all but zero. Also, the Central Pacific Basin, where Okeanos was at the time of this comic's release, is 6500 meters deep; at that depth the water pressure is approximately 4454863 Pascal's, or roughly 646 PSI. This is probably enough to irrevocably damage something as breakable as a cell phone. Even if the phone were of the so-called "waterproof" variety, that rating is usually only applicable to a few meters of depth rather than thousands of meters. Needless to say, retrieving one's phone from the bottom of the Central Pacific Basin would be a challenging and pointless endeavor.

==Table of comments==
{| class="wikitable"
!Comment
!Explanation
|-
| Fake
| A very common YouTube comment expressing skepticism, for example saying that the content is edited or computer generated.
|-
| Who else is watching this in 2017?
| This type of comment appears frequently on videos, as a kind of community bonding over discovering or revisiting older content. It is not relevant here, as this is a live feed in 2017.
|-
| Is this {{w|Pre-rendering|prerendered}} or will these graphics be in the game?
| Previews for video games often use a mix of pre-rendered computer graphics and in-game footage, generally because in-game footage is not always visually impressive, interesting to watch, or easy to fit into the narrative of a preview advertisement. This practice can easily mislead people into believing that the pre-rendered graphics represent the actual game graphics, leading to disappointment when they purchase the game and find out that this isn't the case. The commenter, who has mistaken the marine footage for a game trailer, is trying to determine if what he's seeing is pre-rendered or not, since it looks photorealistic to the point that he can't believe these are in-game graphics.
|-
| That squid is a {{w|Neoliberalism|neoliberal}}.
| Likely an attempt at trolling; anyone with even a passing knowledge of marine life will be annoyed that the commenter confused the onscreen jellyfish with a squid, and everyone else will be annoyed by the politically-charged accusation in a place where such conversation clearly does not belong. Judging by the following comments, they have successfully baited at least one other person in the chat.
|-
| Why do the McElroy's never talk?
| A reference to The Adventure Zone, a ''{{w|Dungeons & Dragons}}'' podcast hosted by the McElroy Brothers and their father. In the world of The Adventure Zone, there is a creature called the Voidfish, which is generally interpreted to look like a jellyfish. Its abilities include censoring forbidden knowledge spoken by initiated to the uninitiated, so the commenter can't hear anything the McElroys are saying.
|-
| Stop messing around and eat the fish already.
| Possibly a gamer or food vlog watcher. It could also be that the commenter believes that the footage is from the perspective of a marine predator.
|-
| This is why {{w|Donald Trump|Trump}} won.
| Another unwelcome injection of politics. This is likely targeted at the 'squid is a neoliberal' commenter, claiming that Trump's election was a reaction to the unwelcome injection of politics into culture.
|-
| Why do you never craft anything?
| A comment referencing games such as ''{{w|Subnautica}}'' and ''{{w|Minecraft}}'', where a key aspect to survival is crafting materials. Not crafting items in these games is often taken as a sign of ignorance or inexperience, which may be a source of mockery for commenters watching a gaming stream.
|-
| This is just a distraction
| Commenter thinks people should be focused on other things which are more important. Possibly political comment. Possibly conspiracy theorist.
|-
| Something is wrong with that baby giraffe.
| A live video of a giraffe in labor and giving birth was viral in April 2017. This commenter is either confused about which video they're watching, and is concerned that the creature on screen (a jellyfish) looks unlike a healthy baby giraffe, or is feigning this confusion as a joke.
|-
| [title text]
WHEN I WAS ON A BOAT I DROPPED MY PHONE CAN U LOOK FOR IT
| Someone in chat is asking the Explorer to look for a phone they dropped in the ocean. The Explorer doesn't have retrieving lost articles as part of it's stated duties, and the impossibility of finding such a small item in such a huge ocean means this request will likely be ignored.
|}

==Transcript==
:[The comic takes place during a typical YouTube live-stream. The live-stream is from "OceanExplorerGov", using a submarine to explore the Central Pacific Basin. On the left hand side, the live video feed is playing, showing the ocean's depths. On the right hand side, the chat (typically shown in live-streams) is displayed]

:User #1: Fake
:User #2: Who else is watching this in 2017?
:User #3: Is this pre-rendered or will this be in the game?
:User #4: That squid is a neo-liberal
:User #5: Why do the McElroys never talk
:User #6: Stop messing around and eat the fish already.
:User #7: This is why Trump won
:User #8: Why do you never craft anything
:User #9: This is just a distraction
:User #10: Something is wrong with that baby giraffe

:Caption: I love watching the Okeanos Ocean Exploration live-stream, but it's probably for the best that they don't enable chat.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:YouTube]]

50: Penny Arcade

2017-05-19T17:31:38Z

LuigiBrick: Italics

{{comic
| number = 50
| date = January 17, 2006
| title = Penny Arcade
| image = penny_arcade.jpg
| titletext = Of course, Penny Arcade has already mocked themselves for this. They don't care.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Penny Arcade}} is a popular web comic that focuses on video game culture. The character above is Tycho Brahe, one of the two main characters of Penny Arcade (the other being Jonathan "Gabe" Gabriel). Penny Arcade has a reputation for making obscure references to video games without explaining, expecting the reader to be as well-versed in gaming culture as they are. Hence, the attitude shown in this comic.

'Seiken Densetsu' as mentioned in the strip probably refers to ''{{w|Seiken Densetsu 3}}'', an {{w|Action role-playing game}} (Action-RPG) released for the {{w|Super Nintendo Entertainment System}} (SNES) in Japan in 1995. The game was never released in the North American region or officially translated to English. However, many North American game players may recognize ''Seiken Densetsu 2'', the predecessor in the series, by its North American name: {{w|Secret of Mana}}.

As the title text admits, they know they behave like this, and have this reputation, but they don't care, and even refer to it in their own comic.

==Transcript==
:[A color drawing of Tycho, a man with wild brown hair in blue and cyan colored shirt. He has a big open mouth and holds one arm up while the other may be in his (unseen) pocket. He has two speech bubbles,]
:Tycho: You know what? If you've never played the 1995 SNES RPG "''Seiken Densetsu''" don't even bother reading today's strip.
:Tycho: We don't need your kind here.

==Trivia==
*This was the 47th comic originally posted to [[LiveJournal]].
**The previous was [[49: Want]].
**The next was [[54: Science]].
*This comic kept its original title: "Penny Arcade"
**It was the first comic to do so since [[46: Secrets]] four comics back.
**And apart from that comic, it was the first title to do so as well as to not include the word "Drawing" since [[31: Barrel - Part 5]] ten comics further back.
**Apart from the [[:Category:First day on LiveJournal|thirteen first comics]] posted to LiveJournal, there were only three other comics without the word "Drawing" in the title before these last six.
*It is the first of the last six comics on LiveJournal which all had a title without the word "Drawing" in it.
**Five of these had exactly the same title on both sites.
**Only 11 comics have the same title on both sites.
**Apart from the [[:Category:First day on LiveJournal|thirteen first comics]] posted to LiveJournal, there were only three other comics without the word "Drawing" in the title before these last six
*Original [[Randall]] quote: "I'm actually pretty fond of Penny Arcade, when I get the jokes."
*This comic was one of the last 11 comics posted on LiveJournal.
**These 11 comics were [[:Category:Posted on LiveJournal after xkcd|posted both on LiveJournal and xkcd]] after the [[xkcd]] site opened on the 1st of January 2006.
**This comic was posted on the same day on both sites.
**They were not all posted on the same day though.
*During the start-up of xkcd several of the comics were released on days that deviated from the normal Monday, Wednesday, Friday scheme.
**This one was thus '''released on a Tuesday'''.
**It was the last of a series of three where the release day was shifted to one day later.
**This one was though posted quite early, 1:53 am, so it could almost have become a normal Monday comic.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics posted on livejournal| 47]]
[[Category:Posted on LiveJournal after xkcd]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Fiction]]

576: Packages

2017-05-19T17:28:20Z

LuigiBrick: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 576
| date = May 1, 2009
| title = Packages
| image = packages.png
| titletext = Day six: 'The hell? Who mails a bobcat?'
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] wrote a script that searches online shopping sites for items that cost US$1 with free shipping. Because the script is programmed to use an account with a $365 balance, this script will buy one random item per day for a full year. [[Megan]] comments that Cueball might just end up with "lots of crap" but he replies that he might get something interesting.

Over five days the script orders a length of rubber hose, a ski mask, a bear trap, a map of {{w|The Pentagon}} and "lube" (sexual lubrication). This pattern prompts Cueball to stop the script out of fear of being placed on a FBI watch list; to a paranoid passerby, the purchased items make Cueball look like a terrorist who plans to kidnap and {{w|Rubber-hose cryptanalysis|torture}} federal employees. And also a pervert; such a contrast is considered funny.

In the title text a sixth item is sent, a {{w|bobcat}}. This may be connected with [[325: A-Minus-Minus]] where [[Black Hat]] delivered a bobcat instead of a chair.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is sitting at his computer.]
:Cueball: I love getting packages.

:[Megan enters and Cueball turns towards her.]
:Cueball: I set up a script to search eBay et. al. for $1 items with free shipping.

:[Cueball comes home with a backpack on his back and find a package waiting for him on his doorstop.]
:Cueball: I gave it $365, so each day it can buy me something random.

:[Cueball, again sitting at his computer.]
:Megan (off-screen): What if you just end up with lots of crap?
:Cueball: I'll give it away.
:Cueball: But I'm sure I'll end up with some interesting stuff.

:[The next five panels have a caption in a black frame at the top. The caption is written first for each panel. In the first panel Cueball has unpacked a hose. The paper lies in tatters on the floor. Megan stands next to him.]
:Day 1: Length of rubber hose
:Cueball: Could be handy around the house.

:[Cueball stands with a black item and the torn paper it came in. Megan looks on.]
:Day 2: Ski mask
:Cueball: It's spring, but hey.

:[Cueball is standing alone with a bear trap and the box it came in on the floor.]
:Day 3: Bear trap
:Cueball: Huh.

:[Megan is back as Cueball looks at a piece of paper that came in an envelope.]
:Day 4: Tourist map of the Pentagon.
:Megan: Uh oh.

:[Cueball is standing alone with a bottle of lube in one hand and the box it came in in the other hand.]
:Day 5: Lube
:Cueball: I'm stopping this before I end up on every F.B.I. watch list ever.

==Trivia==
Someone has set up an [http://bobcatinabox.com/ actual service] inspired by this comic, which does exactly what this comic describes, and has been featured in the advertisements section to the left.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Bobcats]]

805: Paradise City

2017-05-04T18:21:22Z

LuigiBrick: /* Transcript */ Italics

{{comic
| number = 805
| date = October 13, 2010
| title = Paradise City
| image = paradise city.png
| titletext = Take me down to the paradise municipality / where the grass is mauve and the girls aren't fromthisreality.
}}

==Explanation==

"{{w|Paradise City}}" is a song by the hard rock band {{w|Guns N' Roses}} which appeared on their debut album ''{{w|Appetite for Destruction}}''. It sings of the so-called Paradise City, an idyllic place whereto the lyrical self longs to return. The location is contrasted with the depressing reality in which the persona is trapped, using for instance the image of a gas chamber.

In the comic, [[Cueball]] can be seen singing different versions of the chorus. In each panel, the word "City" is substituted by a synonym and the rest of the verse is altered accordingly to keep the rhyme scheme (usually awkwardly because he has chosen difficult words to rhyme with).

The sequence of stanzas describes the fate of Paradise City. It starts the original version drawing an idyllic picture. In a rather unexpected turn, however, the next stanza has the place pillaged and plundered. Chaos and anarchy reign, the once fresh and green meadows are now burned. Law and order are restored in the next verses and the other extreme starts to prevail: Paradise City has become a totalitarian {{w|dystopia}}. The fourth stanza refers to {{w|George Orwell|George Orwell's}} dystopian novel ''{{w|Nineteen Eighty-Four}}''. The book shows a world in which mind control and omnipresent surveillance render individual thought and action impossible, and the fifth stanza shows a borough where every blade of grass has been labeled, taking the surveillance to an extreme. The concluding verses suggest that the totalitarian government has successfully brainwashed the former rebels and established an effective, yet sterile technocratic society. "Cortical lesions" in this panel could be a reference to the dystopian novel ''{{w|Uglies}}'' by {{w|Scott Westerfeld}}, which describes a society in which extreme plastic surgery is used to turn people "pretty". (SPOILER ALERT) It is later revealed in the book that this procedure is accompanied by a neurosurgical operation making the patient placid and obedient through a {{w|lobotomy}}.

The development of the city in Cueball's song reveals that the term "{{w|Paradise}}" can be applied to very different and even oppositional scenarios. While the original song describes the city as a rural Eden, some might refute this conception as a bourgeois or {{w|Agrarianism|agrarian romantic}} ideal. Others would fear that too much individual freedom might be dangerous and opt for {{w|Surveillance state|security through control}}. Especially the picture of the last stanza is a common vision in dystopian literature (e.g. ''{{w|Brave New World}}''): Although the citizens of a future society entirely lack any personal choice or individual freedom, they deem themselves happy because education or thought control present this a necessity for a functioning society.

In popular culture, the word "Paradise" is often used to describe a place of bliss and perfect harmony, as in the original religious sense of the term. It is however also frequently linked to the idea of living out one's deepest and darkest desires, therefore in some way to a place of {{w|sin}}. Considering the lifestyle of Guns N' Roses, it can be assumed that the "pretty girls" of the original song are not necessarily chaste.

The most iconic part of Las Vegas is officially named "Paradise", although it is not entirely clear if Cueball is aware of the probable reference of the original song.

The title text suggests that ''Paradise City'' is in fact a drug-induced state of {{w|Ecstasy (emotion)|ecstasy}} with strange and colourful {{w|hallucination|hallucinations}}.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sits on a box playing a guitar and singing.]
:Cueball: Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.
:Cueball: Take me down to the paradise village where the grasses burn and those cute girls pillage.
:Cueball: Take me down to the fire-charred counties where the law's restored by Canadian mounties.
:Cueball: Take me down to Orwellian regions where they retrain girls using cortical lesions.
:Cueball: Take me down to the paradise borough where the grass is labeled 'cause the girls are thorough. ''Ohh, won't you please take me hooome...''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Music]]

50: Penny Arcade

2017-02-04T20:55:11Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 50
| date = January 17, 2006
| title = Penny Arcade
| image = penny_arcade.jpg
| titletext = Of course, Penny Arcade has already mocked themselves for this. They don't care.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Penny Arcade}} is a popular web comic that focuses on video game culture. The character above is Tycho Brahe, one of the two main characters of Penny Arcade (the other being Jonathan "Gabe" Gabriel). Penny Arcade has a reputation for making obscure references to video games without explaining, expecting the reader to be as well-versed in gaming culture as they are. Hence, the attitude shown in this comic.

'Seiken Densetsu' as mentioned in the strip probably refers to {{w|Seiken Densetsu 3}}, an {{w|Action role-playing game}} (Action-RPG) released for the {{w|Super Nintendo Entertainment System}} (SNES) in Japan in 1995. The game was never released in the North American region or officially translated to English. However, many North American game players may recognize Seiken Densetsu 2, the predecessor in the series, by its North American name: {{w|Secret of Mana}}.

As the title text admits, they know they behave like this, and have this reputation, but they don't care, and even refer to it in their own comic.

==Transcript==
:[A color drawing of Tycho, a man with wild brown hair in blue and cyan colored shirt. He has a big open mouth and holds one arm up while the other may be in his (unseen) pocket. He has two speech bubbles,]
:Tycho: You know what? If you've never played the 1995 SNES RPG 'Seiken Densetsu' don't even bother reading today's strip.
:Tycho: We don't need your kind here.

==Trivia==
*This was the 47th comic originally posted to [[LiveJournal]].
**The previous was [[49: Want]].
**The next was [[54: Science]].
*This comic kept its original title: "Penny Arcade"
**It was the first comic to do so since [[46: Secrets]] four comics back.
**And apart from that comic, it was the first title to do so as well as to not include the word "Drawing" since [[31: Barrel - Part 5]] ten comics further back.
**Apart from the [[:Category:First day on LiveJournal|thirteen first comics]] posted to LiveJournal, there were only three other comics without the word "Drawing" in the title before these last six.
*It is the first of the last six comics on LiveJournal which all had a title without the word "Drawing" in it.
**Five of these had exactly the same title on both sites.
**Only 11 comics have the same title on both sites.
**Apart from the [[:Category:First day on LiveJournal|thirteen first comics]] posted to LiveJournal, there were only three other comics without the word "Drawing" in the title before these last six
*Original [[Randall]] quote: "I'm actually pretty fond of Penny Arcade, when I get the jokes."
*This comic was one of the last 11 comics posted on LiveJournal.
**These 11 comics were [[:Category:Posted on LiveJournal after xkcd|posted both on LiveJournal and xkcd]] after the [[xkcd]] site opened on the 1st of January 2006.
**This comic was posted on the same day on both sites.
**They were not all posted on the same day though.
*During the start-up of xkcd several of the comics were released on days that deviated from the normal Monday, Wednesday, Friday scheme.
**This one was thus '''released on a Tuesday'''.
**It was the last of a series of three where the release day was shifted to one day later.
**This one was though posted quite early, 1:53 am, so it could almost have become a normal Monday comic.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics posted on livejournal| 47]]
[[Category:Posted on LiveJournal after xkcd]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Fiction]]

942: Juggling

2017-01-28T20:07:13Z

LuigiBrick: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 942
| date = August 24, 2011
| title = Juggling
| image = juggling.png
| titletext = Later: 'Why is there a book hovering over the trash can?'
}}

==Explanation==
The joke here is that the "How to Juggle" book assumes that there is gravity and momentum in the place where you are juggling. It seems like there is no gravity or momentum because when [[Cueball]] throws the juggling balls up in the air, they don't come down, and also don't continue the trajectory that they had when they left his hands.

Or, it could be that in the third panel, it looks like he's juggling, but the next ones show that they're just floating.

It could also be a joke on the fact that a comic of juggling looks just like a comic of hovering balls, which would also explain the title-text.

The title text draws on the fact the book being thrown into the trash can can also be interpreted as a hovering book, while in a still image form, such as shown in this comic. This is a bit incongruous, as the book was previously seen lying on the floor, implying that it had been dropped there.

While it is possible to reach zero gravity (or at least microgravity), there is no place in our universe where objects with mass have no momentum. Some possible explanations might be that Cueball is outside of our universe, he has just discovered something that's theoretically impossible, or he is just dreaming, or [[Randall]] has taken comedic license on the "momentum" part for the sake of the joke. Or he could be in a place where the surrounding fluid, instead of having the normal properties of earth's atmosphere, is a very thick or viscous fluid in which things simply become stuck.

Also, because Cueball jumps and returns to the ground (panels 6 & 7), it would appear that the effect is limited to the balls and the book, and does not extend to Cueball himself. However, his return could be caused by magnetism, rather than gravity. (In science fiction, {{w|magnetic boots|boots containing magnets}} are used to hold astronauts "down" when gravity is not adequate.)

This comic is part of the following unpublished comic from the [[:Category:Five-minute comics|Five-minute comics]]: [[Five-Minute Comics: Part 4]]

==Transcript==
:[The panel shows a close up of Cueball reading a book. The book is called "How To Juggle" and has a picture of a person juggling on the cover.]

:[The view now shows the entirety of Cueball. The book is splayed on the floor behind them, and he is holding some juggling balls.]

:[Cueball throws the juggling balls in the air.]

:[He lowers his arms to prepare to catch the balls. The balls are hovering in mid-air.]

:[Cueball now stands with his arms by his sides. The balls have not moved and are still suspended in mid-air.]

:[Cueball jumps, trying to grab the lowest ball. He can't reach.]

:[Cueball scratches his head and stares at the still floating juggling balls.]

:[Cueball throws the book into a trash can.]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

942: Juggling

2017-01-28T20:03:01Z

LuigiBrick: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 942
| date = August 24, 2011
| title = Juggling
| image = juggling.png
| titletext = Later: 'Why is there a book hovering over the trash can?'
}}

==Explanation==
The joke here is that the "How to Juggle" book assumes that there is gravity and momentum in the place where you are juggling. It seems like there is no gravity or momentum because when [[Cueball]] throws the juggling balls up in the air, they don't come down, and also don't continue the trajectory that they had when they left his hands.

Or, it could be that in the third panel, it looks like he's juggling, but the next ones show that they're just floating.

It could also be a joke on the fact that a comic of juggling looks just like a comic of hovering balls, which would also explain the title-text.

The title text draws on the fact the book being thrown into the trash can can also be interpreted as a hovering book, while in a still image form, such as shown in this comic. This is a bit incongruous, as the book was previously seen lying on the floor, implying that it had been dropped there.

While it is possible to reach zero gravity (or at least microgravity), there is no place in our universe where objects with mass have no momentum. Some possible explanations might be that Cueball is outside of our universe, he has just discovered something that's theoretically impossible, or he is just dreaming, or [[Randall]] has taken comedic license on the "momentum" part for the sake of the joke. Or he could be in a place where the surrounding fluid, instead of having the normal properties of earth's atmosphere, is a very thick or viscous fluid in which things simply become stuck.

Also, because Cueball jumps and returns to the ground (panels 6 & 7), it would appear that the effect is limited to the balls and the book, and does not extend to Cueball himself. However, his return could be caused by magnetism, rather than gravity. (In science fiction, {{w|magnetic boots|boots containing magnets}} are used to hold astronauts "down" when gravity is not adequate.)

This comic is part of the following unpublished comic from the [[:Category:Five-minute comics|Five-minute comics]]: [[Five-Minute Comics: Part 4]]

==Transcript==
:[The panel shows a close up of Cueball reading a book. The book is called "How To Juggle" and has a picture of a person juggling on the cover.]

:[The view now shows the entirety of Cueball. A book is splayed on the floor behind them, and he is holding some juggling balls.]

:[Cueball throws the juggling balls in the air.]

:[He lowers his arms to prepare to catch the balls. The balls are hovering in mid-air.]

:[Cueball now stands with his arms by his sides. The balls have not moved and are still suspended in mid-air.]

:[Cueball jumps, trying to grab the lowest ball. He can't reach.]

:[Cueball scratches his head and stares at the still floating juggling balls.]

:[Cueball throws the book into a trash can.]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

1304: Glass Trolling

2017-01-27T21:37:17Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1304
| date = December 16, 2013
| title = Glass Trolling
| image = glass_trolling.png
| titletext = Plus, when someone finally grabs your glasses and stomps on them, it costs way less than $1,500 to replace them.
}}

==Explanation==
This is another strip in the [[My Hobby]] series.

{{w|Google Glass}} is a set of glasses frames worn like typical glasses that features an optical display and internet connectivity. It responds to voice commands starting with [https://support.google.com/glass/answer/3079305 "OK ''glass''"], for example to initiate video recording or to check tomorrow's weather. Strangers and other people surrounding the user would often find it annoying to hear someone talking to "himself", or to ''Glass''. Also many people who buy the newest gadgets, like Google Glass, like to brag about it, and thus would try to say ''OK Glass'' so loud that other people will notice they have these cool new glasses. This can be very annoying in general!

[[Randall|Randall's]] hobby, is saying "OK, ''glass''" before any sentence while he is only wearing regular glasses. Like here where he (drawn as usual like [[Cueball]], with regular glasses) is checking tomorrow's weather, not on the glasses but on his {{w|smartphone}}. Apparently this is even more annoying to the bystander than if he would actually wear a real ''Google Glass'' while saying so. He thus both annoys other people, mocks people who buy such glasses to brag about them, and in general mocks Google Glass.

In the title text, Randall states that there is an extra benefit by doing this while only wearing regular glasses. Because when someone is finally fed up with the annoyance and rips the glasses off and stomps on them, then it would cost much less for regular glasses than if he had to replace a "Google Glass". These are very expensive - $1,500 at the time of this comic, as the title text says. (Note regular glasses can also be very expensive, but you could choose to wear your reserve glasses for such a prank...)

The "OK, ''Glass''" keyword is not useless outside of ''Glass''; in the browser Chrome and the Android/iOS app ''Google Now'', "OK, ''Glass''" is also valid instead of "OK, ''Google''" to initiate a voice command. While Cueball may be using this app, it is not necessarily the case, given that the caption states that Cueball enjoys prefacing everything with the phrase.

It seems generally that Randall is no fan of Google Glass, which was also shown earlier in [[1251: Anti-Glass]]. Google Glass has become a [[:Category:Google Glass|recurring theme]] in xkcd.

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the panel:]
:My Hobby:

:[Cueball, wearing regular glasses, is holding his smartphone up in one hand while typing, as shown with two times two small movement lines on either side of the phone. A voice from off-panel right emanates from a starburst at the frame.]
:Cueball: OK, Glass, check tomorrow's weather.
:Cueball: Ooh, snow!
:Off-panel voice: Oh my god, it's somehow even ''more'' annoying than if you had it.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Saying "OK, Glass" before everything while wearing regular glasses.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:My Hobby]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Smartphones]]
[[Category:Google Glass]]

1187: Aspect Ratio

2017-01-27T16:26:05Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1187
| date = March 18, 2013
| title = Aspect Ratio
| image = aspect ratio.png
| titletext = I'm always disappointed when 'Anamorphic Widescreen' doesn't refer to a widescreen Animorphs movie.
}}

==Explanation==
Aspect ratio is the relationship between the width and height of an image (and in this case, a video) and is denoted in a ratio of <width>:<height> - usually either in lowest common denominator, or with a decimal width to a height of "1". Up until the 1990s, all televisions and most computer monitors (CRT tube and LCD) were in the standard 4:3 aspect ratio, called "fullscreen" (meaning the width is 4/3 or 1.33... times the height). When HDTV was developed, the standard for television screens changed to 16:9 (width being 16/9 or 1.77... times the height), called "widescreen" (although widescreen can also refer to a number of even wider ratios used in feature films). Computer monitors are now available in widescreen ratios, though fullscreen remains common as well.

Letterboxing is a process whereby an image which does not fully fill a screen is expanded to fill the screen by the addition of further material (mattes). Usually this is done with the addition of black bars in the empty space. One example of why this was necessary was widescreen films on VHS cassette. VHS could only record and play back 4:3 images. Thus, in order to display a widescreen film, the rest of the VHS's 4:3 image had to be filled with horizontal black bars at the top and bottom of the image. Those bars were part of the video information recorded on the cassette.

When DVDs were introduced, many DVDs also had letterbox bars on the DVD's full screen image. With the increased popularity of widescreen televisions, DVD players were improved to offer {{w|anamorphic widescreen}}, in which the full widescreen image is horizontally rescaled (shrunk) into a 4:3 size, which the player then was able to display stretched horizontally back to the proper widescreen aspect.

With the advent of Blu-ray, video is generally encoded in whatever its proper aspect ratio is intended to be, and the player itself is left to appropriately matte the image.

The problem with letterboxed video (such as a 16:9 video letterboxed for 4:3) is that if one tries to watch the video on a 16:9 widescreen, where the image ''should'' fill the whole screen, instead the 4:3 letterboxed image fills part of the screen with further vertical mattes on the left and right of the image, thus producing an image much smaller than it needs to be, with mattes on all four sides. Some TVs or media players can zoom to help resolve the issue, although the video resolution usually suffers. By encoding only the video itself and allowing the player to do the matting, the video can be seen as large as possible on any given screen.

''{{w|Animorphs}}'' is a late-90's to early-00's young adult book series about shape-shifting teens who turn into animals to fight body-snatching aliens. Sony held the rights to create a film, but never made use of them, beyond creating URLs for a proposed movie on December 11, 2012.

In this comic, Randall appears to be complaining about the issue of widescreen videos which have been rescaled to 4:3 by adding mattes to the top and bottom and uploaded on sites like YouTube. He is probably annoyed by the fact that on his widescreen monitor, TV or mobile device, the video (as noted above) does not fill the screen because of the letterboxing. In some cases, uploaders also take video and rescale it to the point where the image is improperly compressed horizontally or vertically, even without letterboxing. This is more akin to the car crushing Randall depicts in the comic.

A note is that, if someone managed to "expand" the car, the car would not be "un-crushed" and probably even weakened even more, referencing the bigger damage done when letterboxed video is attempted to be "expanded" to its original ratio, distorting the video quality.

==Transcript==
:[A car is crushed in a large black clamp.]
:Whenever someone uploads a letterboxed 16:9 video rescaled to 4:3, I do this to their car.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Animorphs]]

476: One-Sided

2017-01-26T17:30:36Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 476
| date = September 15, 2008
| title = One-Sided
| image = one-sided.png
| titletext = He continued, "Okay, Bernanke is uncontaminated. Find a crossbow and get him into position behind one of the columns at the Fed entrance. This is gonna get ugly."
}}

==Explanation==
The comic refers to the phenomenon of hearing half a conversation from a stranger on a cell phone and, not noticing the cell phone, imagining that that person is talking to you and responding in kind. The chart gives a plot of the frequency that this occurs (for [[Randall]] here represented by the [[Cueball]] to the left) against the amount of time that passes before the error is discovered. It also implies that Randall's second relationship was in reality just a particularly long instance of this occurrence, suggesting that his 'girlfriend' wasn't even aware of the relationship.

The title text is the continuation of the phone call, which involves a fictional conspiracy involving the then Chairman of the {{w|Federal Reserve}}, {{w|Ben Bernanke}}, and a {{w|crossbow}}.

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the panel:]
:Sometimes my conversations with strangers go on for a while before I realize that they're talking on their phones.

:[To the right above a graph Cueball is standing next to a Cueball-like guy with a backpack.]
:Guy with backpack: Hi!
:Cueball: Hi.
:Guy with backpack: What's up?
:Cueball: Uh, not a lot...
:Guy with backpack: Shit. Does Bernanke own a crossbow?

:[To the left and below these two guys is a graph, with the axis labelled. The graph looks parabolic towards the left-hand side, but as x approaches infinity, y approaches zero. A vertical dashed line runs through the graph, slightly to the right of the peak of the graph. To the right of the dashed line there is an arrow pointing to the right that is labelled. The x-axis has a broken scale, and to the right of the break there is a very small increase in the graph that is parenthetically labelled with a small arrow.]
:Y-axis: How Often This Happens
:X-axis: Length of conversation
:Arrow: Awkward Zone
:Small arrow: (My Second Relationship)

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category: Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Crossbows]]

476: One-Sided

2017-01-26T17:30:21Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 476
| date = September 15, 2008
| title = One-Sided
| image = one-sided.png
| titletext = He continued, "Okay, Bernanke is uncontaminated. Find a crossbow and get him into position behind one of the columns at the Fed entrance. This is gonna get ugly."
}}

==Explanation==
The comic refers to the phenomenon of hearing half a conversation from a stranger on a cell phone and, not noticing the cell phone, imagining that that person is talking to you and responding in kind. The chart gives a plot of the frequency that this occurs (for [[Randall]] here represented by the [[Cueball]] to the left) against the amount of time that passes before the error is discovered. It also implies that the Randall's second relationship was in reality just a particularly long instance of this occurrence, suggesting that his 'girlfriend' wasn't even aware of the relationship.

The title text is the continuation of the phone call, which involves a fictional conspiracy involving the then Chairman of the {{w|Federal Reserve}}, {{w|Ben Bernanke}}, and a {{w|crossbow}}.

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the panel:]
:Sometimes my conversations with strangers go on for a while before I realize that they're talking on their phones.

:[To the right above a graph Cueball is standing next to a Cueball-like guy with a backpack.]
:Guy with backpack: Hi!
:Cueball: Hi.
:Guy with backpack: What's up?
:Cueball: Uh, not a lot...
:Guy with backpack: Shit. Does Bernanke own a crossbow?

:[To the left and below these two guys is a graph, with the axis labelled. The graph looks parabolic towards the left-hand side, but as x approaches infinity, y approaches zero. A vertical dashed line runs through the graph, slightly to the right of the peak of the graph. To the right of the dashed line there is an arrow pointing to the right that is labelled. The x-axis has a broken scale, and to the right of the break there is a very small increase in the graph that is parenthetically labelled with a small arrow.]
:Y-axis: How Often This Happens
:X-axis: Length of conversation
:Arrow: Awkward Zone
:Small arrow: (My Second Relationship)

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category: Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Crossbows]]

577: The Race: Part 1

2017-01-19T17:45:46Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 577
| date = May 4, 2009
| title = The Race: Part 1
| image = the_race_part_1.png
| titletext = Great, and you JUST finished paying off the settlement over the Wayne Coyne hamster ball incident.
}}

== Explanation ==
This is possibly a continuation of [[139: I Have Owned Two Electric Skateboards]].

{{w|Firefly (TV series)|Firefly}} was a television series aired by Fox in 2002 that got cancelled mid-way through, but it has a large fan base nowadays (for a more comprehensive explanation, see the Wikipedia page). The star of the show was Captain Malcolm (or Mal) Reynolds, played by {{w|Nathan Fillion}}.

So in this comic, [[Megan]] tells [[Cueball]] that Nathan Fillion has an electric skateboard. [[Cueball]] immediately starts planning a trip to visit and race Nathan Fillion.

The title text refers to an earlier comic ([[211: Hamster Ball Heist]]), where [[Cueball]] kidnaps Wayne Coyne in his hamster ball.

All comics in "[[The Race]]" series:
*577: The Race: Part 1 (this one)
*[[578: The Race: Part 2]]
*[[579: The Race: Part 3]]
*[[580: The Race: Part 4]]
*[[581: The Race: Part 5]]

This series was released on five consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

Electric skateboards have been the subject of several other comics like [[139: I Have Owned Two Electric Skateboards]], [[409: Electric Skateboard (Double Comic)]] and a panel in [[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]].

==Transcript==
:Megan: Huh, cool. Nathan Fillion (Mal from Firefly) has an electric skateboard. Just like you!

:[Cueball leaves the room.]

:Megan: Did you hear that? Nathan-
:Sounds from off-screen: ''Ratchet Zip Buckle''

:[Cueball returns wearing helmet, knee pads, elbow pads, sunglasses and holding his electric skateboard.]
:Cueball: I heard. Gimme the computer. I need to book a flight.

:[Caption in a black frame at the bottom of the last panel:]
:To be continued...

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:The Race]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|The Race]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Nathan Fillion]]
[[Category:Firefly]]
[[Category:Electric skateboard]]
[[Category:Hamster Ball]]

222: Small Talk

2017-01-19T16:26:46Z

LuigiBrick: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 222
| date = February 12, 2007
| title = Small Talk
| image = small_talk.png
| titletext = But surely I owe you an accurate answer!
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is approached by his friend who offers the standard greeting of, "What's Up? How've you been?" In standard "small talk" an appropriate answer would be only one or two words (e.g. "Fine", "Pretty good"). These are generally positive responses, with negative ones only offered in extreme circumstances. In this situation, Cueball forgets that this type of answer is what his friend is expecting.

Instead, he contemplates thoroughly on his condition, wanting to provide accurate, detailed information to his friend. His response sheds light on the many layers of meaning a simple question such as "What's up?" can have. His friend, thrown off by the delayed response, snaps to regain Cueball's attention and reminds him that they are having a conversation, which is best facilitated by the standard short responses.

The title text shows that Cueball was more interested in accuracy than the ease of the conversation, simply out of respect for his friend.

==Transcript==
:Sometimes I forget how to do small talk.
:Friend: Hey!
:Cueball: Hey, man!
:Friend: What's up? How've you been?
:Cueball: Well...
:[Three identical frames indicate time passes.]
:''Friend snaps fingers''
:Friend: Uh, you ok?
:Cueball: Yeah! It's just an interesting question. I'm trying to decide what best sums up my--
:Friend: Hey. Conversation.
:Cueball: Oh, right. I'm fine. You?

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

1307: Buzzfeed Christmas

2017-01-19T16:23:34Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1307
| date = December 23, 2013
| title = Buzzfeed Christmas
| image = buzzfeed christmas.png
| titletext = The 6 Weirdest Objects The Buzzfeed Writers Are Throwing Out Their Windows At Us
}}

==Explanation==
Christmas caroling is a tradition in which groups of singers travel from house to house, singing {{w|Christmas carol|carols}}.

These carolers are in front of the [http://www.buzzfeed.com/ BuzzFeed] offices singing the {{w|The Twelve Days of Christmas (song)|The Twelve Days of Christmas}}, which ''usually'' contains:

:On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.
:12 Drummers drumming
:11 Pipers piping
:10 Lords a-leaping
:9 Ladies dancing
:8 Maids a-milking
:7 Swans a-swimming
:6 Geese a-laying
:5 Golden rings
:4 Calling birds
:3 French hens
:2 Turtle doves
:And a partridge in a pear tree.

The carolers changed the lyrics to match the style of headlines of the topics published by BuzzFeed, which usually contain a number and a superlative; for example, ''13 Worst Plane Crashes of the Decade'' or ''8 Otters Who Are So Cute We Can't Even Handle It''. This method of writing headlines, referred to as clickbait, is used by several other news sites, because it is known to generate a lot of visits and therefore more ad revenue. [[Randall]] has touched on this subject before in [[1283: Headlines]].

Carolers are usually rewarded with a gift, but the BuzzFeed writers probably didn't appreciate the song, because they threw weird stuff at them which the carolers used in their 6th verse.

==Transcript==
:[Four carolers (Megan, Cueball, Ponytail and Hairy) are singing.]
:12 Best drummers of ''all time''
:11 Pipers whose jaw-dropping good piping will make you cry
:You won't ''believe'' what these 10 lords leap over
:[Caption below the frame]
:Carolers outside the Buzzfeed offices perform "12 Weird things I ''actually got'' for Christmas"

==Trivia==
*The Buzzfeed YouTube Channel uploaded a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_v92edGrMbY video] called ''The 12 Days of Internet Christmas'', which is similar to ''The Twelve Days of Christmas'' song. But the video contains a number of strange objects and images, to name a few, a naked Ryan Gosling and four men with curly beards. Because of its absurd content, according to the like-dislike ratio, the video's quality is rather controversial.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Christmas]]
[[Category:Clickbait]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]

1139: Rubber and Glue

2017-01-19T16:17:48Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1139
| date = November 26, 2012
| title = Rubber and Glue
| image = rubber and glue.png
| titletext = I'm rubber. You're rubber. We contemplate the reality of our existence in mute, vulcanized horror.
}}

==Explanation==
"I'm rubber, you're glue; whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you" is a school-ground retort used by children to suggest that one's insults are being ignored by the intended recipient of the insult and counter that the insult rather refers to the insulter. On a deeper level, it may imply that a person insulting others is an indication of their own insecurity and weakness.

In this comic, a young [[Black Hat]] is reading a chemistry and physics handbook, which leads to a literal and graphic visualization of the phrase. He uses the retort to frighten the children bullying him (young versions of [[Hairy]] and [[Cueball]]). Black Hat takes the traditional saying and twists it into a creepy thought by saying that they are both literally glue and rubber and that they are permanently stuck together, which scares [[Hairy]] and [[Cueball]] and prompts them to call for their mothers.

The book is the {{w|CRC Handbook of Chemistry and Physics}}. It is also nicknamed the 'Rubber Bible' or the 'Rubber Book', as CRC originally stood for "Chemical Rubber Company".

The title text says that I (meaning him) and you (the reader) are both rubber. Rubber is not a living object, so it is stuck in "vulcanized horror" in the position it was sculpted in. This could be a reference to how powerless we are in the changing of the world.

Young Black Hat also taunts young Hairy later in [[1753: Thumb War]].

==Transcript==
:[Playground. Young Megan is balancing on a swing, two Cueball-like kids are swinging and two more kids, a young Cueball and a young Hairy are approaching a reading young Black Hat, whose hat is almost too big for his small head.]
:Hairy: Whatchya reading, Hatboy?
:Black Hat: The CRC Handbook of Chemistry and Physics.
:Cueball: You are such a loser, it's ''painful''.
:Black Hat: I'm rubber, you're glue.

:[In a frame-less panel Hairy and Cueball looks down on Black Hat sitting with his book in his lap on the ground between them. He looks back up over his shoulder at Hairy.]
:Hairy: Yeah, well—
:Black Hat: ''Glue can't speak.''
:Black Hat: You try to scream, but your mouth fills with glue.
:Black Hat: Your face is glue. Your body is glue.

:[Black Hat has left the book on the ground behind him and has risen. Hairy and Cueball is now together to the right and Black Hat advances towards them arms stretched out. Hairy steps backwards away from him.]
:Black Hat: I wrap my rubber arms around your sticky bulk.
:Black Hat: Your neoprene base bonds instantly with my surface.
:Black Hat: Never to let go.

:[Zoom in on Black Hat's head. He is holding his arms up in front of him clapping them together. Hairy shouts from off panel.]
:Black Hat: You are glue. I am rubber.
:Black Hat: Staring at you with my dead, rubber eyes-
:Black Hat: ''Forever.''
:Hairy (off-panel): ''Moooom!''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Physics]]

1156: Conditioning

2017-01-10T19:40:59Z

LuigiBrick: Grammar

{{comic
| number = 1156
| date = January 4, 2013
| title = Conditioning
| image = conditioning.png
| titletext = 'Why are you standing in the yard wearing a papal hat and a robe covered in seeds?' 'Well, the Pope is visiting our town next month ...'
}}

==Explanation==
Herein, the author devises a method of addressing the issue of drivers who turn up their music to irritating levels which usually results in a lot of bass coming from the car — the low frequencies being the ones that most easily penetrate the car and travel farther, thus being more audible to those around the car.

As the title suggests, the idea is to {{w|Classical conditioning|condition}} animals to respond to a thumping bass. The machine is described as working as follows: every few hours, the bass would turn on, and the box would dispense food behind an opening designed to look like an open car window. Over time, local wildlife would flock to the box to get the food from inside, and would become trained that the sound of a subwoofer means that they can get food by flying through a car window.. Eventually, the animals would respond to any low music, including that played by cars.

The end result would be that the local wildlife would approach, and presumably attempt to enter, any car that has that same thumping bass. Drivers, in turn, would cease to turn up their music in order to prevent the groups of animals from chasing after their cars, thus solving the problem of annoyingly loud bass. This behavior modification can itself be seen as a {{w|Operant conditioning|somewhat different form of conditioning}}.

Although this plan may seem far-fetched, a similar scheme was seriously proposed in Britain during {{w|World War I}} to condition {{w|Gull|seagulls}} to associate a submarine's {{w|periscope}} with food, which would give away the locations of enemy submarines as the gulls flocked to their periscopes being raised.

The title text is a dialogue about using a similar method of conditioning to send animals after the {{w|Pope}}. Why someone would want that to happen is left to the reader's imagination.

==Transcript==
:Every few hours, subwoofer plays throbbing bass for 10 seconds... [With arrow pointing to subwoofer.]
:...then bread crumbs are dispensed into box [With arrow pointing to bread feeder machine.]
:Opening [With arrow pointing to feeder opening shaped like a driver side car window.]
:Local wildlife [With arrows pointing to birds and a squirrel.]
:Protip: Leave this device in your yard for a week, then watch as the problem of loud music from passing cars solves itself.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Protip]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Psychology]]

1635: Birdsong

2017-01-10T18:21:26Z

LuigiBrick:

{{comic
| number = 1635
| date = January 27, 2016
| title = Birdsong
| image = birdsong.png
| titletext = Maybe if I put it in a box for a while with a speaker playing some pleasant pastoral music, I can reprogram it.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic shows [[Cueball]] walking and singing along with the {{w|songbird}} singing above him; Cueball is apparently enjoying the perfect weather and the birdsong as he comments on both. In the next panel, the bird continues to sing but now it sings actual words (to the song "{{w|Smooth (song)|Smooth}}" ([https://youtu.be/6Whgn_iE5uc?t=1m26s official video]) by {{w|Santana (band)|Santana}} featuring {{w|Rob Thomas (musician)|Rob Thomas}}). This gives the word songbird a completely new meaning. The bird's singing begins to annoy Cueball, so he chases the bird with a {{w|butterfly net}} in an attempt to catch it. Meanwhile, the bird just continues with the song. (Interestingly the two lines from the last two panels follow each other in the song, but Cueball manages to get hold of the net in between).

The lines the bird sings are (most) of the last three lines from the chorus (see the [http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/santana/smooth.html lyrics]):
*And it's just like the ocean under the moon
*Well, that's the same as the emotion that I get from you
*You '''got the kind of loving that can be so smooth, yeah.'''
*'''Gimme your heart, make it real'''
*'''Or else forget about it'''

The comic is a play on the words ''bird'' and ''song''. Songbirds, of course, don't actually sing: the sounds they make are territorial challenges, mating cries, etc. But in Western cultural traditions, particularly the {{w|pastoral}} one, imagining these sounds as 'song' is part of seeing nature as beautiful and harmonious. Ironically, the fact that this bird is really singing pop music, is perceived by Cueball to be an intrusion.

In the title text Cueball suggest playing {{w|Pastoral#Pastoral_music|pastoral music}} to 'reprogram' the bird, which is of course an even more unnatural intervention - all with the purpose of restoring the pastoral naturalness of the nature. Of course some birds can actually {{w|Talking bird|emulate human words}}, and in this way also sing real words, like with the {{w|common hill myna}}. Other birds can mimic any odd and unusual sounds, particularly the {{w|lyrebird}} of Australia is known to reproduce all types of sounds from chainsaws to barking dogs and certainly also music.

The title text of "reprogramming" the bird by placing it in a box also refers to {{w|B. F. Skinner|B.F. Skinner}} and his development of {{w|Programmed learning|programmed learning}} through his theories of operand conditioning and behaviorism in psychology. By famously using birds in so-called {{w|Skinner boxes}}, he conditioned birds to respond to certain stimuli and expect rewards for particular behaviors, leading to an understanding of many impulsive behaviors in humans like addiction. Cueball apparently hopes to "correct" the bird and its song through this method.

Animal conditioning was also referred to in [[1156: Conditioning]].

Lately [[Randall]] has had his characters catch several things (but [[:Category:Butterfly net|never butterflies]]) with a butterfly net; most recently in [[1622: Henge]], where it was the Sun that was caught in the net.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is walking and talking, while a bird, flying above him is singing, with four notes floating around it to indicate this. The notes are clearly above and removed from Cueball's text.]
:Cueball (singing): The sun is shining, the birds are singing—

:[Cueball stops and looks up when the bird above him starts to sing using human language, four notes are floating around the text. The text of the bird's song is in ''italic text'' to indicate this.]
:Bird (singing): ''Got the kind of lovin' that can be so smooth, yeah''

:[Cueball looks down and black smoke emanates from the top of his head. The bird now flies above the panel but still sings in human language, four notes are floating below the text.]
:Bird (singing - off-panel): ''Give me your heart, make it real''

:[Cueball is chasing the bird with a butterfly net, the bird is flying away from Cueball, continuing to sing, four notes are floating around the text.]
:Bird (singing): ''Or else forget about it''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Butterfly net]]

564: Crossbows

2017-01-06T14:20:39Z

LuigiBrick: Removed a dead link

{{comic
| number = 564
| date = April 3, 2009
| title = Crossbows
| image = crossbows.png
| titletext = I hate being the slowest guy in the lab.
}}

==Explanation==
There are conflicting theories as to the meaning of this comic.
#Since the experimental confirmation or denial of the {{w|Higgs mechanism}} was widely recognized as important to the development of physics, the experimenters involved were likely to receive Nobel Prizes. Nobel Prizes, however, are only given to living people and groups of up to three in size. The experimenters, therefore, are preparing to fight to the death when the discovery comes. Peter Higgs had [http://www.reuters.com/article/2008/04/07/us-science-particle-idUSL0765287220080407 made a statement] in 2008 hinting that the confirmation would come within one year, and that statement was made one year before the Tuesday mentioned in the comic. Tentative experimental confirmation of the Higgs boson was made in July 2013.
#At the time this was written, there was much hype about the Higgs mechanism, as it was a theory explaining how particles got their masses. Experimental confirmation of the Higgs mechanism and its signature particle (the {{w|Higgs boson}}) was seen with such importance that the boson was dubbed the "God particle". Detecting it, however, required accelerating particles to energies higher than ever before. Since this was at the cutting edge of physics, it was unknown what would actually happen. There were [http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/09/05/lhc_to_leave_fabric_of_spacetime_continuum_unripped/ fears] that the experiment would create a micro black hole or worse. This comic could be seen as applying those fears to a common trope in horror movies and video games where a mutant infestation is created by unknowing scientists. The scientists here, apart from poor [[Cueball]], have done their research and armed themselves for any upcoming dangers. It is unknown whether these dangers are specific or not. Some argue that [[:Category:Velociraptors|velociraptors]] are a common enough theme in xkcd that the experimenters are preparing for a velociraptor attack. Others point out that the crossbow is a weapon in the game series {{w|Half-Life (video game)|Half-Life}}, whose plot has a similar infestation following failed physical experiment ripping dimensional seams. They mention that someone at the particle accelerator closely resembled one of the main characters of Half-Life. Of course, the crossbows may just be a general preparation for danger.
#Finally, this comic may simply be general sympathy for those late to catch on to something. Substituting different things for "crossbow" and "Higgs excitation" would give a similar situation for Cueball. [[Randall]] apparently hates these situations. A layer of {{w|metahumor}} could be present here, as Cueball may represent the clueless readers of xkcd who have to go to the [http://forums.xkcd.com/index.php forum] or [[Main Page|this wiki]] to understand its comics.

The proper interpretation of this comic, or whether there even is one, remains an open question.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is pulling a crossbow out of a desk.]
:Cueball: Why do you have a crossbow in your desk?
:Megan (off-screen): You ''don't''?

:[Pan to Megan who looks towards Cuball who is off-screen to the left.]
:Cueball (off-screen): No—why would—
:Megan: You ''are'' studying the consequences of Higgs excitation, aren't you?
:Megan: Like the rest of the lab?

:[Cueball, now carying Megan's crossbow joins her as the panel extends to include another Cueball-like guy to her right, he also carries a crossbow.]
:Cueball: Yes, but why—
:Guy: Maybe he's slow with the math.
:Megan: Well, he has until Tuesday.
:Guy: Poor guy.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Crossbows]]

607: 2038

2017-01-06T14:01:31Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 607
| date = July 8, 2009
| title = 2038
| image = 2038.png
| titletext = If only we'd chosen 1944-12-02 08:45:52 as the Unix epoch, we could've combined two doomsday scenarios into one and added a really boring scene to that Roland Emmerich movie.
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|2038 problem}} is a well-known problem with 32-bit Unix-based operating systems. {{w|Unix time}} is stored as a 32-bit signed integer on these systems, counting the number of seconds since 1970. In 2038, we overflow the highest number we can store in 32-bit integers, leading to unexpected behavior. The switch to 64-bit operating systems will most likely be complete by the year 2038, which is why [[Randall]] is relieved. The reference to {{w|Y2K}} is a throwback to the year 2000 problem, in which people were concerned that computers storing digits as two numbers (e.g.: 99 to represent 1999) would cause problems when the year 2000 began because 00 could have been interpreted as 1900 by error. That Y2K issue was covered widely — with only some small mishaps — but calculating dates beyond 2038 is still not solved on many 32-bit UNIX based systems today. The "even WORSE" is a play on the fact that even being "even worse" than the actual results of Y2K doesn't necessarily mean it will be particularly bad, Y2K resulting in very few serious problems, especially in light of the hype that preceded it.

The title text is a reference to the film "2012" which is about the world ending in December of 2012, at the end of the {{w|Mayan calendar}}. If the designers of the UNIX operating system had used 1944 as their epoch instead of 1970, then the UNIX crash due to a variable overflow would coincide with the end of the Mayan calendar. Thus, the implication is that there could have been a boring scene in the movie where the UNIX time rolls over and nothing happens and no one cares — because the world doesn't exist any more.

==Transcript==
:I'm glad we're switching to 64-bit, because I wasn't looking forward to convincing people to care about the Unix 2038 problem.
:Friend: What's that?
:Cueball (arms raised high): Remember Y2K? This could be even ''worse!''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Computers]]

Talk:607: 2038

2017-01-06T13:57:51Z

LuigiBrick:

:Can anyone explain the mouse-over text? [[User:Saibot84|Saibot84]] ([[User talk:Saibot84|talk]]) 23:02, 7 May 2013 (UTC)
::Good thing it's explained now, because I was relating 1944 and apocalypse with WW2. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.212.196|108.162.212.196]] 21:57, 3 January 2014 (UTC)

"calculating dates beyond '''2032''' is still not solved on many 32-bit UNIX based systems today". Is the year 2032 a typo, should be 2038? If not, what is the relevance of 2032, should be explained. --[[User:Pudder|Pudder]] ([[User talk:Pudder|talk]]) 07:30, 12 September 2014 (UTC)

Woah, I learned about the 2038 problem yesterday, and I clicked "Random page" today and got this comic! Anyone remember what that phenomenon is called? [[User:LuigiBrick|LuigiBrick]] ([[User talk:LuigiBrick|talk]]) 13:57, 6 January 2017 (UTC)

376: Bug

2017-01-03T19:51:23Z

LuigiBrick: Formula edit

{{comic
| number = 376
| date = January 28, 2008
| title = Bug
| image = bug.png
| titletext = The universe started in 1970. Anyone claiming to be over 38 is lying about their age.
}}

==Explanation==
In computer systems, time is measured starting from some arbitrarily chosen point. That particular time is known as the "{{w|Unix time|epoch}}" for that system. The {{w|UNIX}} operating system internally uses an epoch of January 1, 1970, and measures the time as a number of seconds from then. Since this was intended only for things internal to the OS (File last modified times and the like), using 1-Jan-1970 was safe as no UNIX systems existed before that date. Dates before 1 January, 1970 are represented by negative values.

Commonly known as the {{w|year 2038 problem}}, at 03:14:08 on 19 January 2038, the 32-bit versions of the Unix time stamp will cease to work, as it will overflow the largest value that can be held in a signed 32-bit number. The 64-bit version "will" expire at 15:30:08 on 4 December 292,277,026,596.

[[Cueball]] has clearly misused the system date in some way (possibly by {{w|square root|square rooting}} the timestamp with the assumption that 0 is 12:00:00 on Jan 1st, 0 CE, which would require the use of imaginary numbers and would mean his output would probably be wrong anyway,), his friend makes a pun by combining "Epoch" with "Epic Fail" - a colloquial term meaning "a very big mistake was made".

The title text takes the joke to the next level, claiming that the entire universe began when Unix did, and therefore no one can be older than 38 at the time of the release of this comic, 2008. This would now be 47 as of 2017 (the formula is 'x - 1970', where x is the current year), which would explain the bug since no earlier dates would be needed. This is also similar to {{w|Last Thursdayism}}.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sits at a computer, staring at the screen and rubbing his chin in thought. A friend stands behind him.]
:Cueball: Weird — My code's crashing when given pre-1970 dates.
:Friend [pointing at Cueball and his computer]: Epoch fail!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Puns]]

Talk:1624: 2016

2017-01-03T19:44:55Z

LuigiBrick:

This guy looks more like white hat, you can see it hanging off one of the bedposts {{unsigned ip|‎173.245.54.58}}
:True, I have corrected this, mentioned it in explanation and transcript and also made a note in the wiki code so people who do not read the explanation won't change it without learning of their mistake ;-) --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 16:12, 1 January 2016 (UTC)

Isn't Wonderwall already 20 years old? [[User:Mudri|Mudri]] ([[User talk:Mudri|talk]]) 11:28, 1 January 2016 (UTC)
:Yes it was from 1995 a mistake by Randall. It was probably first big in the US in 1996 though? If the unpluged MTV version was more famous (?) then it was recorded in 1996. Mentioned now in the explanation. And happy new year to all on explain xkcd --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 16:12, 1 January 2016 (UTC)

I feel old because all of those things mentioned (even the 20-year ones) are so much more recent than my own personal milestones and I know that the unsaid 30-year set, at least, would be even better.

Let's see, a sample list for 30 years could include, as one per month: The ''Challenger'' disaster; Halley's Comet; Microsoft's IPO; Chernobyl; ''Short Circuit''; Mexico hosts the World Cup; Prince Andrew marries Sarah Ferguson; ''Castle In The Sky'' from Studio Gibhli; Desmond Tutu is a Bishop; Reagan and Gorbachev meet (unsuccessfully) in Reykjavík; Iran-Contra; Rutan Voyager's non-stop non-refuelled circumnavigation of the Earth; and, precise date unknown... The Simpsons created!

And 40 years has its interesting points: the Cray-1 created; Apple Computers formed; Concorde flies; as does the (shuttle prototype) Enterprise; Vikings 1 and 2 land; Jimmy Carter nominated; Bob Marley killed; the Sex Pistols swear; the first Laser Printer; ''The Selfish Gene''...

Anyway... Happy New Year, to all. Young ''and'' old. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.152.227|162.158.152.227]] 20:10, 1 January 2016 (UTC)

Simpsons became it's own show on the 17th December 1989. Prior, it was featured on The Tracey Ulman show. The first Tracey Ulman short aired on April 19th 1987. It may have been CREATED in 1986, however.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.152.119|162.158.152.119]] 01:50, 3 January 2016 (UTC)

I think Mr. Ford and others would dispute that Cars are only 10 years old. While _I_ may have walked to school (in the snow) (uphill (both ways)), I knew others driving back then. :p [[Special:Contributions/108.162.221.33|108.162.221.33]] 04:41, 3 January 2016 (UTC)
:The Cars may be 40 years old, but even if the FX are lousy by todays standard, "You Might Think" is brilliant as ever. :P [[Special:Contributions/162.158.90.211|162.158.90.211]] 13:02, 6 January 2016 (UTC)

Oh man, this was a year ago already! Time really is passing quickly.

1398: Snake Facts

2016-12-18T14:08:12Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1398
| date = July 23, 2014
| title = Snake Facts
| image = snake facts.png
| titletext = Biologically speaking, what we call a 'snake' is actually a human digestive tract which has escaped from its host.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic lists a few ''{{w|lie | factoids}}'' about snakes, ranging from the mildly informative to the strictly {{w|tongue-in-cheek}}.

The first factoid references the hypothesis that {{w|snake venom}} was an evolutionary development of {{w|saliva}} that, over time, gradually became more toxic as snakes with saliva that was able to assist in subduing their prey possessed an evolutionary advantage. It then posits that the evolutionary branch that developed into venomous snakes began with a snake whose mutation gave him a mouth that was 'slightly more gross than usual'.

Additionally, the comic illustration accompanying the second factoid colors in a '{{w|habitat}} range' on a map of South America that is snake-shaped, implying that when it states 'The longest snake is found in {{w|Brazil}}, {{w|Peru}}, and {{w|Chile}}' that this snake is so long that it literally stretches from Brazil, across part of Peru, into Chile, and that the 'habitat' shaded on the map is, in fact, this mammoth snake's {{w|silhouette}}. The age, length and location of the snake are so exaggerated that they are obviously untrue, but may be a reference to the {{w|Green Anaconda}}, one of the world's largest snakes, which inhabits this region.

The final factoid is entirely tongue-in-cheek. Many factoids come in the form "If you laid all the X end to end, Y would occur" (e.g. "If you laid all the veins and arteries in the human body end-to-end, they would stretch 60,000 miles"). The Y portion of the factoid is supposed to be surprising; therefore, it is ironic that the factoid in the comic, "If you laid all the bones in a snake end to end, you would have a snake.", is obvious and not at all exciting. Clearly, you would not have an entire snake, literally, but you would have a skeleton that was recognizably that of a snake and could reasonably be referred to as 'a snake'.

The title text presents the amusing idea that 'snakes' as we know them are not, in fact, a suborder of reptiles but are instead human {{w|digestive tract}}s that, rather than being a system of organs, are creatures capable of escaping from their 'host' human and living independently. The idea seems to follow from the superficial resemblance between snakes and the human digestive tract as long, roughly tubular collections of animal matter, which can process the food entering the top end, and get rid of the waste through the other end.

[[Randall]] had previously posted an [[Media:snake facts old.png|incorrect map]], that included the snake's habitat in {{w|Bolivia}} instead of Peru.

==Transcript==
:'''Snake Facts:'''
:Snake venom evolved from saliva, which means it all started with a snake whose mouth was slightly more gross than usual.
:[Picture of a snake below the text above.]
:Snake: Hi guys!
:Off-panel voice: Eww, it's Frank.
:[Map of South America with gray shade in the form of a snake. Text to the left of it.]
:The world's longest snake is found in Brazil, Peru and Chile. It is believed to be over 60 years old.
:[Picture of a snake skeleton between the first and the second of the lines below.]
:If you laid all the bones in a snake end-to-end,
:you would have a snake

==Trivia==
Given the habitat listed for the second factoid, it is likely the comic is referring to the Green Anaconda ''({{w|Eunectes murinus}})''.
*The Green Anaconda's habitat range includes Colombia, Venezuela, the Guianas, Ecuador, Bolivia, Brazil, Peru, the island of Trinidad, and Paraguay.
*The Green Anaconda is one of the longest snakes in the world reaching more than 6.6 m long.
*Anacondas generally do not live beyond 20 years in captivity, and likely less in the wild.
*Since anacondas are reported to continue growing throughout their lives, a 60 year old specimen would likely be the longest snake in the world.
*The Reticulated Python ''({{w|Python reticulatus}})'' is recognized as the longest, but not heaviest, snake and grow to more than 6.95 m.
*The Reticulated Python's habitat is in Southeast Asia.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Biology]]

965: Elements

2016-12-18T13:40:06Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 965
| date = October 17, 2011
| title = Elements
| image = elements.png
| titletext = Of all the nations, the armies of the ununoctium-benders are probably the least intimidating. The xenon-benders come close, but their flickery signs are at least effective for propaganda.
}}

==Explanation==
In the popular children's TV show ''{{w|Avatar: The Last Airbender}}'', the four nations that inhabit the world can each control one of the four classical elements: water, earth, fire and air. One person, the avatar, can control all four elements and is markedly more powerful than any other character. {{w|Dmitri Mendeleev}} is the creator of the modern periodic table, which categorizes the 118+ elements by their atomic number.

The comic is comparing the control over more magical power with more practical, "science-y" power. Fire, boulders, and storms may be more impressive visually, but science has proven time and again the "boring" can have very practical, very deadly applications.

{{w|Polonium}} gained a level of notoriety as the poison used to kill Russian dissident {{w|Alexander Litvinenko}}.

The title text talks about power levels of the elements if each element had a controlling nation as per the TV show. Ununoctium (1-1-8-ium) was the placeholder name for {{w|Oganesson}}, the 118th element. It did not officially gain it's permanent name until late 2016, 5 years after this comic was released. Oganesson is the heaviest element that has been created, as well as the one with the shortest life before it decays into other elements.
{{w|Xenon}} is a noble gas with few practical applications, but it is sometimes used in neon signs.

==Transcript==
:[Aang the Avatar and Dmitri Mendeleev stand in opposition to each other. Aang wields all 4 classical elements: Water, Fire, Earth, and Air.]
:Aang: I'm the avatar, master of all 4 elements!
:Mendeleev: Really? I'm Mendeleev, master of all 118+.
:''swoosh''
:Mendeleev: That was polonium-bending. You probably didn't feel anything, but the symptoms of radiation poisoning will set in shortly.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Chemistry]]

965: Elements

2016-12-18T13:39:13Z

LuigiBrick: Added the official new name for Ununoctium.

{{comic
| number = 965
| date = October 17, 2011
| title = Elements
| image = elements.png
| titletext = Of all the nations, the armies of the ununoctium-benders are probably the least intimidating. The xenon-benders come close, but their flickery signs are at least effective for propaganda.
}}

==Explanation==
In the popular children's TV show ''{{w|Avatar: The Last Airbender}}'', the four nations that inhabit the world can each control one of the four classical elements: water, earth, fire and air. One person, the avatar, can control all four elements and is markedly more powerful than any other character. {{w|Dmitri Mendeleev}} is the creator of the modern periodic table, which categorizes the 118+ elements by their atomic number.

The comic is comparing the control over more magical power with more practical, "science-y" power. Fire, boulders, and storms may be more impressive visually, but science has proven time and again the "boring" can have very practical, very deadly applications.

{{w|Polonium}} gained a level of notoriety as the poison used to kill Russian dissident {{w|Alexander Litvinenko}}.

The title text talks about power levels of the elements if each element had a controlling nation as per the TV show. {{w|Ununoctium}} (1-1-8-ium) was the placeholder name for {{w|Oganesson}}, the 118th element. It did not officially gain it's permanent name until late 2016, 5 years after this comic was released. Oganesson is the heaviest element that has been created, as well as the one with the shortest life before it decays into other elements.
{{w|Xenon}} is a noble gas with few practical applications, but it is sometimes used in neon signs.

==Transcript==
:[Aang the Avatar and Dmitri Mendeleev stand in opposition to each other. Aang wields all 4 classical elements: Water, Fire, Earth, and Air.]
:Aang: I'm the avatar, master of all 4 elements!
:Mendeleev: Really? I'm Mendeleev, master of all 118+.
:''swoosh''
:Mendeleev: That was polonium-bending. You probably didn't feel anything, but the symptoms of radiation poisoning will set in shortly.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Chemistry]]

526: Converting to Metric

2016-12-17T21:47:30Z

LuigiBrick: /* Length */

{{comic
| number = 526
| date = January 5, 2009
| title = Converting to Metric
| image = converting to metric.png
| titletext = According to River, "adequate" vacuuming systems drain the human body at about half a liter per second.
}}
==Explanation==
Most people will eventually develop an intuitive feel for how big certain measurements are (e.g., how long an inch or a foot is, how much a pound weighs). This comic points out that people who were brought up using the {{w|United States customary units|United States system of customary units}} probably don't have the same intuitive understanding for metric units and attempts to provide some benchmarks for these people. Most of the benchmarks are common sense, highly-useful ones (e.g., if it's 30 degrees Celsius, you'd be quite comfortable outside dressed for the beach) but some of the benchmarks are humorous and/or completely useless as can be seen below.

In the book [[Thing Explainer]] a similar chart for metrics is shown in the explanation for ''How to count things'', with four of the five measures from this comic also explained in simple language. Only volume is left out there. Only thing used in both explanations is the weight of a cat, but in the book it weighs 5 kg rather than 4 kg in this comic.

===Temperature===
*60⁠ °C - {{w|Extremes on Earth|Earth's hottest}}: The hottest temperature recorded on earth is actually {{W|List_of_weather_records#Heat|"only" 56.7 °C}}. There have been reports of temperatures ten-twenty degrees higher (70−80 ⁠°C) but these measurements are not verified or accepted as world records.
*45 °C, 40 °C⁠, 35⁠ °C: Various heat waves. {{w|Dubai}} is a city in the United Arab Emirates, and is smack-dab in the middle of an equatorial desert, so their heat waves can get ''hot!''. The southern United States will typically be a few degrees hotter than the northern United States simply because it's closer to the equator, but as mentioned they're both above "Beach Weather".
*30 °C: A little too hot so perfect for a trip to the beach.
*25 °C: Would as mentioned be too warm for room temperature...
*20 °C: Defined as room temperature in many experimental settings. For some this would feel a little cool.
*10 °C: Definitely wear a jacket. Especially if there is just a little breeze.
*0⁠ °C: The freezing point of water.
*−5 °C, −10 °C: In Moscow −10 °C is not really that cold - it can go "spit goes clink" cold in {{W|Moscow#Climate|Moscow}}, whereas −5 °C in {{W|Boston#Climate|Boston}} may be very cold.
*−20 °C - FuckFuckFuckCold, −30 °C - Fuuuuuuuuuuck!: This is implied to be basically what some people would say when they step outside at this temperature. In reality, it would be best to keep ones's mouth firmly closed. At −30 °C, without taking wind chill into account, exposed skin will feel painful in under a minute and frostbite could begin in as little as ten minutes [http://www.ec.gc.ca/meteo-weather/default.asp?lang=En&n=5FBF816A-1]. The differing statements seem to imply that at −20 °C, the user would be saying "fuck" repeatedly, whereas at −30 °C, the user is incapable of closing their mouth after starting the first "fuck", and so extends it into one long one.
*−40⁠ °C - Spit goes "clink": As shown in the drawing your spit would freeze ''before'' it hits the ground. This is the agreement point of the two temperature scales i.e. −40 °C = −40 °F.

See also [[1643: Degrees]] about not being able to choose between the two temperature scales.

===Length===
*1 cm - Width of microSD card, 3 cm - Length of SD card: Refers to the {{w|MicroSD card|memory cards}} used in cell phones, digital cameras, etc.
*12 cm: CD-ROM is a common object so nice to know it is a dozen centimeters.
*14 cm: Most males would probably exaggerate the size of their penis, but 14–15 cm is very average.
*15 cm: A Bic pen.
*80 cm: A typical doorway is also of standard size. This is barely over the minimum size typically required by codes for buildings (30 inches or 76.2 cm in US), but more than 50% over the size required for aircraft emergency exits. (It may seem illogical that larger doors are required in buildings than in airplanes, given airplanes are arguably more dangerous. However, there is no real disadvantage to using larger doors in buildings, which are not significantly pressurized, but using larger doors in aircraft would increase the force on the door caused by cabin pressure proportionally.)
*1 m - {{w|Lightsaber|Lightsaber blade}}: Refers to the weapon used in the {{w|Star Wars}} movie franchise. Canonically, the length of a lightsaber's blade varies greatly depending on the setting of the weapon, but "one meter" is by no means a bad approximation.
*170 cm - {{w|Summer Glau}}: Refers to the height of the actress who portrays the character River Tam on the TV show {{w|Firefly (TV series)|Firefly}}.
*200 cm - Darth Vader: Refers to the height of the main antagonist from Star Wars.
*2.5 m: A ceiling - of course very much depending on which type of building you are in!
*5 m: A car length - also very much depending on the car...
*16 m 4 cm - Human tower of Serenity crew: Again, this refers to the Firefly TV show, which takes place mostly on a space ship called Serenity.
**Presumably, if all the crew of Serenity were stacked on top of each other, this would be their combined height.
**The comic depicts four characters from the show standing on top of each other; the bottom figure is the crew's captain, {{w|Malcolm Reynolds}} in his signature coat. Judging from the other drawing of Summer Glau from the volume section, she is standing on top of the captain.
**The other five members of the crew should also be stacked on top of these four to reach the 16.04 m height - giving them an average height of 1.78 m (8 cm more than Summer Glau's height!)

===Speed===
:Here both the SI unit m/s as well as the more commonly used unit kph (km/h) is given. Note that the SI prefers "km/h" over the non-standard abbreviation "kph".
*5 kph - 1.5 m/s: Walking at a normal pace.
*13−25 kph - 3.5−7 m/s: Jogging to sprinting.
*35 kph - 10 m/s - Fastest human: As of 2009, the fastest a human has been recorded to run in a single sprint is actually 12.4 m/s or 44.7 km/h, a record set by {{w|Usain Bolt}}.
*45−55 kph - 13−15 m/s: Both cats and rabbits go much faster than normal people.
*75 kph - 20 m/s - Raptor: It's a comic written by [[Randall]], of course a reference to the {{w|velociraptors}} from ''{{w|Jurassic Park (film)|Jurassic Park}}'' was going to be here.
*100 kph - 25 m/s: A slow highway.
*110 kph - 30 m/s - Interstate (65 mph): Refers to the {{w|Interstate|American highway system}}. (65 mph would actually be only 104.6 km/h.)
*120 kph - 35 m/s - Speed you actually go when it says "65": People routinely break the aforementioned speed limit, and the police typically don't mind as long as it's not posing any danger.
*140 kph - 40 m/s - Raptor on hoverboard: The {{w|hoverboard}} and its speed (~88 mph) is probably a reference to the ''{{w|Back to the Future Part II}}'', though hoverboards are a fairly common trope in older science fiction stories. Randall obviously did a lot of google searching on this subject the week before - see [[522: Google Trends]].

===Volume===
*3 mL: The amount of blood in a fieldmouse. A similar amount is used in comic [[434: xkcd Goes to the Airport]].
*5 mL: A teaspoon - a very common measure.
*30 mL - Nasal passages, 40 mL - Shot glass: The comic points out that you could just about fill a shot glass using the mucus from your nose. Since shot glasses are usually used for mixed drinks, the comic jokes that this mucus could constitute a new, disgusting drink - and this is depicted in the drawing.
*350 mL: Soda can (this is roughly correct for the cans used in the U.S., which hold 12 fluid ounces or 355 mL; in Europe, soda cans commonly hold 330 mL or 500 mL).
*500 mL: Water bottle (this is also the volume of a European water bottle).
*3 L - Two-liter bottle: Refers to a bottle which contains 2 L (in the US usually soda). There is debate as to the reason for the discrepancy in volume. It may be a reference to stereotypical Americans consuming a lot of high-calorie foods and drinks. The simpler explanation would be that it is a joke. The two-liter bottle is named using its volume. Labeling it with a volume of three liters is the joke.
*5 L: An adult male has about 5 L of blood in his body (An ''adequate'' vacuuming system could drain this blood out in 10 s - as per the title text!)
*30 L - Milk crate: Refers to a {{w|Milk crate|type of small box}} originally used to transport milk but now often in demand to be used as bicycle basket, storage spaces, etc.
*55 L - Summer Glau: Again, this refers to the actress from Firefly.
*65 L - {{w|Dennis Kucinich}}: An American politician belonging to the {{w|Democratic Party (United States)|Democratic party}}, noted for his relatively strong (for the US) leftist views.
*75 L - {{w|Ron Paul}}: An American politician belonging to the rival {{w|Republican Party (United States)|Republican party}}, noted for his strong rightist views.
*200 L: Volume of a refrigerator.
**As shown in the drawing of this part of the comic, the three persons mentioned above - Glau, Kucinich and Paul (summing up to 195 L) - could in principle all fit inside a standard refrigerator. Cueball thus attempts to push them all inside of one - though human bodies are not likely to be sufficiently malleable for this to succeed.

===Mass===
*3 g - {{w|M&M's|Peanut M&M}}: A small chocolate candy with a peanut inside.
*100 g - Cell phone: The weight of a cell phone very much depends on the age, type etc.
*500 g: A bottle of water contains 500 mL according to the volume section and thus has a mass of 500 g.
*1−3 kg: Different types of laptops. The newest and the best is the lightest...
*5 kg - {{w|LCD monitor}}: A modern flat-screen-style monitor.
*15 kg - {{w|CRT monitor}}: An older-style, cathode ray tube-based monitor.
**This ends the section on computer screens, which overrode the normal sequence by weight as the next two feline inspired entries are lighter than the two before. This was presumably done so that the reader's eye will be confused or amused at seeing (in the comic's caseless captioning font) CRT immediately followed by CAT in the vertical text column.
*4 kg - Cat, 4.1 kg - Cat (with caption): Refers to the internet's love of putting {{w|Lolcat|captions on cats}}. Usually, this is done in a graphics program, but here the cat is actually physically carrying around his caption. The "with caption" part is most likely a reference to [[262: IN UR REALITY]], where [[Black Hat]] glues captions to cats, after running out of staples.
*60 kg - Lady: For instance if she is Summer Glau - could be her again depicted in the comic - the average weight of an adult woman.
*70 kg - Dude: Here depicted as Cueball who is the average guy, and 70 kg is average weight for an adult man.
*150 kg - Shaq: {{w|Shaq|Shaquille O'Neal}}, a famously tall basketball player.
*200 kg - Your mom,
*220 kg - Your mom (incl. cheap jewelry),
*223 kg - Your mom (also incl. makeup)
**The last three refer to a common type of {{w|Your mom}} joking insult whereby someone insults someone else's mother in a creative way. Here, the comic slyly calls your mom fat, then implies she wears way too much jewelry and finally also 3 kg of makeup. This is a common theme in [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Your_Mom xkcd]. (20 kg of "cheap" jewelry has several times the volume than 20 kg of gold jewelry, because of the difference in density.)

===Title text===
The title text refers once again to Summer Glau's Firefly character, {{w|River Tam}}, who (after being subjected to a long series of medical experiments) is severely mentally ill and often comes out with macabre — though scientifically accurate — pronouncements. In Firefly episode "Safe" (season 1, episode 7), she says: "The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems."

===Conversion table===
The idea of the comic is to establish new metric reference points and ''not'' to resort to unit conversions. Nevertheless, the following table lists all units from the comic with their US customary equivalents:

{| class="wikitable"
!Temp.|| ||Length|| ||Speed|| || ||Volume|| ||Mass||
|-
|60 °C||140 °F||1 cm||0.4 in||km/h||mph||m/s||3 mL||0.10 fl oz||3 g||0.11 oz
|-
|45 °C||113 °F||3 cm||1.2 in||5||3||1.5||5 mL||0.17 fl oz||100 g||3.5 oz
|-
|40 °C||104 F||12 cm||4.7 in||13||8||3.5||30 mL||1.0 fl oz||500 g||1.1 lb
|-
|35 °C||95 °F||14 cm||5.5 in||25||16||7||40 mL||1.4 fl oz||1 kg||2.2 lb
|-
|30 °C||86 °F||15 cm||5.9 in||35||22||10||350 mL||12 fl oz||2 kg||4.4 lb
|-
|25 °C||77 °F||80 cm||31 in||45||28||13||500 mL||17 fl oz||3 kg||6.6 lb
|-
|20 °C||68 °F||1 m||3 ft 3 in||55||34||15||3 L||0.8 gal||15 kg||33 lb
|-
|10 °C||50 °F||170 cm||5 ft 7 in||75||47||20||5 L||1.3 gal||4 kg||8.8 lb
|-
| 0 °C||32 °F||200 cm||6 ft 7 in||100||62||25||30 L||7.9 gal||4.1 kg||9.0 lb
|-
| -5 °C||23 °F||2.5 m||8 ft 2 in||110||68||30||55 L||15 gal||60 kg||130 lb
|-
| -10 °C||14 °F||5 m||16 ft||120||75||35||65 L||17 gal||70 kg||150 lb
|-
| -20 °C||-4 °F||16.04 m||52 ft 7 in||140||87||40||75 L||20 gal||150 kg||330 lb
|-
| -30 °C||-22 °F|| || || || || ||200 L||53 gal||200 kg||440 lb
|-
| -40 °C||-40 °F|| || || || || || || ||220 kg||485 lb
|-
| || || || || || || || || ||223 kg||492 lb
|}

==Transcript==
:'''Guide to Converting to Metric'''

:[There are five frames with tables for different units. Between the two upper frames is the following text:]
:The key to converting to metric is establishing
:new reference points. When you hear "26°C",
:instead of thinking "That's 79°F" you should think,
:"that's warmer than a house but cool for swimming."
:Here are some helpful tables of reference points:

:[The frame to the left of the above text:]
:Temperature:
:{| class="wikitable"
|60°C||Earth's hottest
|-
|45°C||Dubai heat wave
|-
|40°C||Southern US heat wave
|-
|35°C||Northern US heat wave
|-
|30°C||Beach weather
|-
|25°C||Warm room
|-
|20°C||Room temperature
|-
|10°C||Jacket weather
|-
|0°C||Snow!
|-
| -5°C||Cold day (Boston)
|-
| -10°C||Cold day (Moscow)
|-
| -20°C||Fuckfuckfuckcold
|-
| -30°C||Fuuuuuuuuuuck!
|-
| -40°C||Spit goes "clink"
|}
:[Next to the last three entries we see Cueball spitting on the ground. The spit bounces.]
:Cueball: Ptoo
:Spit: Clink!

:[The frame to the right of the above text:]
:Length
:{| class="wikitable"
|1 cm||Width of microSD card
|-
|3 cm||Length of SD card
|-
|12 cm||CD diameter
|-
|14 cm||Penis
|-
|15 cm||BIC pen
|-
|80 cm||Doorway width
|-
|1 m||Lightsaber blade
|-
|170 cm||Summer Glau
|-
|200 cm||Darth Vader
|-
|2.5 m||Ceiling
|-
|5 m||Car-length
|-
|16 m 4 cm||Human tower of Serenity crew
|}
:[To the right of the table is a human tower of four of the people from the Serenity crew. The head of the upper person is right below the first entry.]

:[The frame below to the left:]
:Speed
:{| class="wikitable"
|kph|| m/s||
|-
|5||1.5||Walking
|-
|13||3.5||Jogging
|-
|25||7||Sprinting
|-
|35||10||Fastest human
|-
|45||13||Housecat
|-
|55||15||Rabbit
|-
|75||20||Raptor
|-
|100||25||Slow highway
|-
|110||30||Interstate (65 mph)
|-
|120||35||Speed you actually go when it says “65”
|-
|140||40||Raptor on hoverboard
|}

:[The frame below in the middle:]
:Volume
:{| class="wikitable"
|3 mL||Blood in a fieldmouse
|-
|5 mL||Teaspoon
|-
|30 mL||Nasal passages
|-
|40 mL||Shot glass
|-
|350 mL||Soda can
|-
|500 mL||Water bottle
|-
|3 L||Two-liter bottle
|-
|5 L||Blood in a human male
|-
|30 L||Milk crate
|-
|55 L||Summer Glau
|-
|65 L||Dennis Kucinich
|-
|75 L||Ron Paul
|-
|200 L||Fridge
|}
:[Next to the entry on nasal passages and shoot glass (starting one entry higher and finishing one entry lower) are the following text:]
:So, when it's blocked
:the mucus in your
:nose could about
:fill a shot glass.
:[Below this text is a drawing of a mucus filled shot glass.]
:Related: I've
:invented the
:worst mixed
:drink ever.
:[Below this next to the four last entries we see Cueball shoving Summer Glau, Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul into an open fridge. Above the fridge in a loosely drawn ellipse are the following text:]
:55+65+75<200

:[The frame below to the right:]
:Mass
:{| class="wikitable"
|3 g||Peanut M&M
|-
|100 g||Cell phone
|-
|500 g||Bottled water
|-
|1 kg||Ultraportable laptop
|-
|2 kg||Light-medium laptop
|-
|3 kg||Heavy laptop
|-
|5 kg||LCD monitor
|-
|15 kg||CRT monitor
|-
|4 kg||Cat
|-
|4.1 kg||Cat (with caption)
|-
|60 kg||Lady
|-
|70 kg||Dude
|-
|150 kg||Shaq
|-
|200 kg||Your mom
|-
|220 kg||Your mom (incl. cheap jewelry)
|-
|223 kg||Your mom (also incl. makeup)
|}
:[Next to the entries of cat and cat (with caption) are two drawings of cats. The second one has a caption across its chest.]
:Cat (with caption): Mrowl?
:[Below this and next to the lady and dude entries (and the Shaq entry) are drawings of Megan and Cueball.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Velociraptors]]
[[Category:Your Mom]]
[[Category:Firefly]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Summer Glau]]

1761: Blame

2016-11-20T16:08:25Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1761
| date = November 18, 2016
| title = Blame
| image = blame.png
| titletext = I bet if I yell at my scared friends I will feel better.
}}

==Explanation==

[[Cueball]] states that he feels sad and links it with his observation that bad things are happening. Sadness is a normal human reaction to perceived bad events<ref>http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/dlp/depression-information/causes-of-depression/</ref>. (Other emotions that might be felt at such times include anger and guilt.)

He then reasons that it must be someone's fault. If the "bad things" in question are not natural calamities or accidents, it is usually logical to surmise that someone is responsible for them taking place.

After some thinking, he has an idea. Ideas are usually the result of thinking (unless they are a result of {{w|computers}}{{Citation needed}}), although it might not always be conscious thinking like Cueball is doing.

He then blames his "friends on {{w|Facebook}}", a social media website and app, for connecting with and talking to friends and family. While there could be possible reasons for bad events (for example if the bad event was nobody wishing him a happy birthday or someone posting compromising pictures,) his friends would not be a likely source for bad events extending beyond a personal or local scope. Most people have a few hundred (or thousand) "friends" on Facebook, most of whom do not have enough influence to cause bad events on a national or global level.{{Citation needed}}

This is a reference to people ranting on {{w|social media}} sites (like Facebook) about various things which are blamed on certain people (or sometimes everyone), but the person doing the ranting never thinks that the problem might be with themselves.

It could possibly also be a reference to how an individual's Facebook news feed has probably been inundated by political posts due to the results of the recent 2016 {{w|United States presidential election}}, and possibly due to state and local elections. One read on this is that, many people, including [http://www.npr.org/sections/alltechconsidered/2016/07/24/486941582/the-reason-your-feed-became-an-echo-chamber-and-what-to-do-about-it| some news sources], have pointed out that social media forms an "echo chamber", and some sources have claimed that this is responsible both for political polarization (see [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rE3j_RHkqJc&t=2s| this video]) and even for [http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/donald-trump-president-social-media-echo-chamber-hypernormalisation-adam-curtis-protests-blame-a7409481.html| the recent victory] of {{w|Donald Trump}}. Notably, [[Randall]] supported {{w|Hillary Clinton}}, the {{w|Democratic}} nominee in [[1756|a recent comic]]. Therefore, blaming social media for the election can be read as blaming his friends echoing his ideas back to him as causing (partially) Clinton's loss; thus they are (partially) at fault for his presumed sadness over her loss in the election. A second read on this would be that constant reminders of Clinton's loss only serve to make Randall sadder: again the proximal cause being his friends' posts. A third read would be that friends with whom Cueball/Randall disagrees are posting things that he finds unpleasant to read, either ideas that he finds offensive or inconvenient, or posts "rubbing in" the victory of the candidate Randall opposed.

The title text refers to people venting. The (humorous) assumption here is that one will feel better after doing so. While some amount of venting might help to relieve stress caused by bad events, alienating people you know by blaming them for bad events usually causes more stress in the long run. The fact that he recognizes his friends are scared, like him, but still thinks yelling at them is a good idea shows he's more interested in making himself feel better rather than caring about the well being on his friends. Additionally, "yelling" on social media would likely only increase the influx of:
* Political posts reminding Cueball of his sadness
* Angry messages back at him
* Reminders of the reason he's sad, including possibly "rubbing in" the sad feelings
* Posts designed to offend Cueball, including posts designed to offend his political sensibilities; all of these would make him feel worse, potentially in relatively short order.

==Transcript==
:Cueball (thinking): I feel sad.
:Bad things are happening.

:Cueball (thinking): They must be someone's fault.
:But whose?

:[Cueball makes several thinking poses before a light bulb appears, indicating he has an idea]

:Cueball (thinking): ''My friends on Facebook.''

==Citations==
<references/>

{{comic discussion}}

File:tt.png

2016-11-11T14:43:21Z

LuigiBrick: /* Summary */

== Summary ==
The title text for [[377: Journal 2]]

== Licensing ==
{{XKCD file derived}}

Title text

2016-11-11T14:35:11Z

LuigiBrick:

The '''title text''' is an {{w|HTML attribute}} [[Randall]] puts on almost every xkcd image which normally adds something tangentially relevant to the topic of the comic. In some of the early comics, the title text was used to explain the joke (Such as [[5: Blown apart]]). It can be accessed via hovering the mouse pointer over the image on the main site or clicking the Alt Text button on the mobile site.

Strictly speaking, calling this the 'alt text' is incorrect, as Randall uses the 'title' attribute rather than the 'alt' attribute in the HTML sources (cf. {{w|Wikipedia:Alternative_text_for_images|Wikipedia's entry on "Alt text"}}). But Randall himself refers to it as Alt text in [[45: Schrodinger]].

[[File:tt.png|left|The title text for 377: Journal 2]]

The title text for [[377: Journal 2]]

[[Category:Meta]]

what if?

2016-03-30T12:33:29Z

LuigiBrick: /* The book */

:''Not to be confused with [[17: What If]].''
[[File:whatifbanner.jpg]]

'''''[http://what-if.xkcd.com/ what if?]''''' is a blog hosted on the [[xkcd]].com domain and written by [[Randall Munroe]] with entries posted [http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/once-in-a-blue-moon.html occasionally]. Before publishing the what if? book, articles were posted weekly.

On the blog, Randall uses his degree in physics and strong scientific background to discuss hypothetical physics questions apparently submitted by readers.
Since 2014, there's also a book of the blog.

Unlike other sites which answer readers' questions, ''what if?'' typically takes the question beyond the original scope likely intended by the reader and takes it to some extreme for humorous effect. For example, in {{what if|1|the first article}}, he discusses what would happen if a baseball were pitched at 90% of the speed of light. After effectively describing what would occur as a nuclear explosion, leveling the stadium and the surrounding mile radius, he concludes with the note ''"A careful reading of official Major League Baseball Rule 6.08(b) suggests that in this situation, the batter would be considered 'hit by pitch', and would be eligible to advance to first base."''

The questions Randall tackles range from realistic possibilities (e.g. the probability of achieving a {{what if|2|perfect SAT score by guessing}}) to completely fictional questions (e.g. {{what if|3|How much Force power}} can {{w|Yoda}} output?). In his explanations, Randall, often uses diagrams in an ''xkcd'' style. Regardless of the context, Randall tends to take the questions extremely literally and responds seriously to them, even if they are whimsical (such as the Yoda question). This is clear from his response to the question of what would happen if everybody on Earth stood together and {{what if|8|jumped at the same time}}. After acknowledging that the question has been answered elsewhere, he recaps the result, but then focuses more intently on the unasked resulting issue of the aftermath of everyone on Earth being magically transported to one location as they all try to return home.

This site is not under [http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.5/ Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5 License] like [[xkcd]] is.

Randal took a hiatus from updates from May 2015 to July 14th 2015 with a note stating "What If updates are temporarily on hold, and will resume on July 14th, 2015 at 7:49:59 AM EDT." This was the date and time that the New Horizons probe achieved its closest approach to Pluto. The article for July 14th was about the New Horizons probe.

==The book==
Randall announced his ''what if?'' book on 12 March 2014 in [http://blog.xkcd.com/2014/03/12/what-if-i-wrote-a-book/ the blag]. It was published on September 2, 2014, and the UK edition of the book was published on September 4, 2014. It is the 2nd book published by Randall.
[[Image:What_If?.jpeg|frame|The general cover of the book]]
It is just like 'xkcd:volume 0' a compilation of some questions from the website, but half of them are new.

In the UK edition of the book, Randall included a preface about his thoughts on the units used in the UK. (The Metric System)
====Summary====
'''The summary on the back of the book reads:'''

''Randall Munroe left NASA in 2005 to start up his hugely popular site XKCD 'a web comic of romance, sarcasm, math and language' which offers a witty take on the world of science and geeks. It now has 600,000 to a million page hits daily. Every now and then, Munroe would get emails asking him to arbitrate a science debate. 'My friend and I were arguing about what would happen if a bullet got struck by lightning, and we agreed that you should resolve it . . . ' He liked these questions so much that he started up What If.

*If your cells suddenly lost the power to divide, how long would you survive?
*How dangerous is it, really, to be in a swimming pool in a thunderstorm?
*If we hooked turbines to people exercising in gyms, how much power could we produce?
*What if everyone only had one soulmate?
*When (if ever) did the sun go down on the British empire?
*How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live?
*What would happen if the moon went away?

''In pursuit of answers, Munroe runs computer simulations, pores over stacks of declassified military research memos, solves differential equations, and consults with nuclear reactor operators. His responses are masterpieces of clarity and hilarity, studded with memorable cartoons and infographics. They often predict the complete annihilation of humankind, or at least a really big explosion. Far more than a book for geeks, WHAT IF: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions explains the laws of science in operation in a way that every intelligent reader will enjoy and feel much the smarter for having read.''

'''The summary on the back of the UK edition of the book reads:'''

''Hey! Thanks for looking at my book. If you're thinking about buying it, here are some things you might want to know:''

Humans can't digest the cellulose in paper, but if we could, eating this book would give you about 2,300 calories (including the cover).

This book can't stop most bullets; if you want to use it for armour, you may want a lot more than one copy.

If you have a good arm, you could probably throw this book about 45 feet. With practice, it's possible to throw a book every 800 milliseconds, which means that if human attackers are sprinting towards you, you'll have three or four chances to hit them before they reach you. If, on the other hand, you're being attacked by a coyote, it's higher top speed means you'll have only one chance to hit it. Aim carefully.

''HIDDEN FEATURE: The inside of this book has words and pictures, plus a special UK foreword.'' It answers many important questions, including whether you could jump from a plane with a helium tank and inflate balloons fast enough to slow your fall and survive (yes) and whether you could hide from a supersonic windstorm in Finland (yes, but it won't help).

==Trivia==
*There is an easy way to link to a given what if? story by using a template. For instance write the following:
**<nowiki>See the [[what if?]] ''{{what if|147|Niagara Straw}}''.</nowiki>
*Copy paste the above text and correct the number and the title to get this result:
**See the [[what if?]] ''{{what if|147|Niagara Straw}}''.

==Articles==
# {{what if|1|Relativistic Baseball}}
# {{what if|2|SAT Guessing}}
# {{what if|3|Yoda}}
# {{what if|4|A Mole of Moles}}
# {{what if|5|Robot Apocalypse}}
# {{what if|6|Glass Half Empty}}
# {{what if|7|Everybody Out}}
# {{what if|8|Everybody Jump}}
# {{what if|9|Soul Mates}}
# {{what if|10|Cassini}}
# {{what if|11|Droppings}}
# {{what if|12|Rain Drop}}
# {{what if|13|Laser Pointer}}
# {{what if|14|Short Answer Section}}
# {{what if|15|Mariana Trench Explosion}}
# {{what if|16|Today's Topic: Lightning}}
# {{what if|17|Green Cows}}
# {{what if|18|BB Gun}}
# {{what if|19|Tie Vote}}
# {{what if|20|Diamond}}
# {{what if|21|Machine Gun Jetpack}}
# {{what if|22|Cost of Pennies}}
# {{what if|23|Short Answer Section II}}
# {{what if|24|Model Rockets}}
# {{what if|25|Three Wise Men}}
# {{what if|26|Leap Seconds}}
# {{what if|27|Death Rate}}
# {{what if|28|Steak Drop}}
# {{what if|29|Spent Fuel Pool}}
# {{what if|30|Interplanetary Cessna}}
# {{what if|31|FedEx Bandwidth}}
# {{what if|32|Hubble}}
# {{what if|33|Ships}}
# {{what if|34|Twitter}}
# {{what if|35|Hairdryer}}
# {{what if|36|Cornstarch}}
# {{what if|37|Supersonic Stereo}}
# {{what if|38|Voyager}}
# {{what if|39|Hockey Puck}}
# {{what if|40|Pressure Cooker}}
# {{what if|41|Go West}}
# {{what if|42|Longest Sunset}}
# {{what if|43|Train Loop}}
# {{what if|44|High Throw}}
# {{what if|45|ISS Music Video}}
# {{what if|46|Bowling Ball}}
# {{what if|47|Alien Astronomers}}
# {{what if|48|Sunset on the British Empire}}
# {{what if|49|Sunless Earth}}
# {{what if|50|Extreme Boating}}
# {{what if|51|Free Fall}}
# {{what if|52|Bouncy Balls}}
# {{what if|53|Drain the Oceans}}
# {{what if|54|Drain the Oceans: Part II}}
# {{what if|55|Random Sneeze Call}}
# {{what if|56|Restraining an Airplane}}
# {{what if|57|Dropping a Mountain}}
# {{what if|58|Orbital Speed}}
# {{what if|59|Updating a Printed Wikipedia}}
# {{what if|60|Signs of Life}}
# {{what if|61|Speed Bump}}
# {{what if|62|Falling With Helium}}
# {{what if|63|Google Datacenters on Punchcards}}
# {{what if|64|Rising Steadily}}
# {{what if|65|Twitter Timeline Height}}
# {{what if|66|500 MPH}}
# {{what if|67|Expanding Earth}}
# {{what if|68|Little Planet}}
# {{what if|69|Facebook of the Dead}}
# {{what if|70|The Constant Groundskeeper}}
# {{what if|71|Stirring Tea}}
# {{what if|72|Loneliest Human}}
# {{what if|73|Lethal Neutrinos}}
# {{what if|74|Soda Planet}}
# {{what if|75|Phone Keypad}}
# {{what if|76|Reading Every Book}}
# {{what if|77|Growth Rate}}
# {{what if|78|T-rex Calories}}
# {{what if|79|Lake Tea}}
# {{what if|80|Pile of Viruses}}
# {{what if|81|Catch!}}
# {{what if|82|Hitting a Comet}}
# {{what if|83|Star Sand}}
# {{what if|84|Paint the Earth}}
# {{what if|85|Rocket Golf}}
# {{what if|86|Far-Travelling Objects}}
# {{what if|87|Enforced by Radar}}
# {{what if|88|Soda Sequestration}}
# {{what if|89|Tungsten Countertop}}
# {{what if|90|Great Tree, Great Axe}}
# {{what if|91|Faucet Power}}
# {{what if|92|One-Second Day}}
# {{what if|93|Windshield Raindrops}}
# {{what if|94|Billion-Story Building}}
# {{what if|95|Pyramid Energy}}
# {{what if|96|$2 Undecillion Lawsuit}}
# {{what if|97|Burning Pollen}}
# {{what if|98|Blood Alcohol}}
# {{what if|99|Starlings}}
# {{what if|100|WWII Films}}
# {{what if|101|Plastic Dinosaurs}}
# {{what if|102|Keyboard Power}}
# {{what if|103|Vanishing Water}}
# {{what if|104|Global Snow}}
# {{what if|105|Cannibalism}}
# {{what if|106|Ink Molecules}}
# {{what if|107|Letter to Mom}}
# {{what if|108|Expensive Shoebox}}
# {{what if|109|Into the Blue}}
# {{what if|110|Walking New York}}
# {{what if|111|All the Money}}
# {{what if|112|Balloon Car}}
# {{what if|113|Visit Every State}}
# {{what if|114|Antimatter}}
# {{what if|115|Into the Sun}}
# {{what if|116|No-Rules Nascar}}
# {{what if|117|Distant Death}}
# {{what if|118|Physical Salary}}
# {{what if|119|Laser Umbrella}}
# {{what if|120|Alternate Universe What Ifs}}
# {{what if|121|Frozen Rivers}}
# {{what if|122|Lava Lamp}}
# {{what if|123|Fairy Demographics}}
# {{what if|124|Lunar Swimming}}
# {{what if|125|Bowling Ball}}
# {{what if|126|Stairs}}
# {{what if|127|Tug of War}}
# {{what if|128|Zippo Phone}}
# {{what if|129|Black Hole Moon}}
# {{what if|130|Snow Removal}}
# {{what if|131|Microwaves}}
# {{what if|132|Hotter Than Average}}
# {{what if|133|Flagpole}}
# {{what if|134|Space Burial}}
# {{what if|135|Digging Downward}}
# {{what if|136|Spiders vs. the Sun}}
# {{what if|137|New Horizons}}
# {{what if|138|Jupiter Submarine}}
# {{what if|139|Jupiter Descending}}
# {{what if|140|Proton Earth, Electron Moon}}
# {{what if|141|Sunbeam}}
# {{what if|142|Space Jetta}}
# {{what if|143|Europa Water Siphon}}
# {{what if|144|Saliva Pool}}
# {{what if|145|Fire From Moonlight}}
# {{what if|146|Stop Jupiter}}
# {{what if|147|Niagara Straw}}
# {{what if|148|Eat the Sun}}
[[Category:Meta]]

98: Fall Apart

2016-03-30T12:28:38Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 98
| date = May 5, 2006
| title = Fall Apart
| image = fall_apart.jpg
| titletext = #pugglewumper Tashari got me some ink pens! I've been experimenting with them.
}}

==Explanation==
Despite [[Randall]] being enthusiastic about receiving ink pens, his first experiment with them has resulted in a rather bleak comic.

Instead of multiple panels, the entire comic is a single drawing, but as we travel down the page, there is an apparent passage of time or, unless a better phrase can be found, the degree of falling apart.

The comic seems to be expressing what it feels like when a relationship falls apart, and one of the implications is that the process cannot easily be reversed. At the top of the page, we see some people standing alone, apparently happy enough, and a couple. As we descend the page, we see examples of a couple split by a narrow chasm, someone isolated and alone on their own world fragment, a couple desperately trying to hang on to eachother, and a single figure falling chaotically and without control.

These figures are on a comic, and the representation is of what happens when their world — the page — literally falls apart. The implication is that this matches the actual feelings of people going through relationship breakups. In short, it is catastrophic.

The identity of '#pugglewumper Tashari', the supplier of the pens, is not known. Judging by the use of the hash sign, it is someone with whom Randall communicates in {{w|IRC}}. In fact, 'pugglewump' appears to be an IRC channel. Although hashtags later came to be strongly associated with {{w|Twitter}}, this was not true at the time the comic was drawn.

==Transcript==
:[Various people struggle as the comic disintegrates. Toward the top, people are standing calmly, some holding hands. As the parts of the comic break apart, people try to reach for each other, hold parts together, or curl up into a ball. By the bottom, a person is falling, surrounded by pieces of the comic.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

1027: Pickup Artist

2016-02-21T15:44:44Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1027
| date = March 9, 2012
| title = Pickup Artist
| image = pickup_artist.png
| titletext = Son, don't try to play 'make you feel bad' with the Michael Jordan of making you feel bad.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Hairy]] and [[Cueball]] are sitting at a table with drinks. Hairy tells Cueball that he's learned some {{w|pickup artist}} tricks. Cueball is appalled, declaring that pickup artists are "dehumanizing creeps". Hairy argues that he's simply learning new tactics such as "[http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=negging negging]" (undercutting the target's self-esteem so that she'll feel vulnerable and crave approval), evidently oblivious to the fact that he's proving Cueball's point. Rejecting Cueball's advice to simply talk to women "like a fucking human being", Hairy sets off to try out the technique.

Meanwhile, [[Black Hat]] and [[Danish]] are sitting at another table. Black Hat leaves to roll a bowling ball through the rest room stalls to smash the feet of anyone there using them. As people sit down to use a bathroom stall most of the time, their feet would be vulnerable to being hit in sequence. Perhaps Black Hat is going for a 'strike'. Hairy approaches Danish, while Cueball looks on and says "oh no" — seemingly recognizing Danish and anticipating the disaster Hairy is walking into.

Hairy makes an attempt at "negging" by suggesting that Danish's fruit plate reflects a need to lose weight. Danish, naturally being a master at psychological manipulation, immediately realizes his game, and crushes him utterly by taking another shot in the psychological dark ([[440: Road Rage]]) — telling him that he's trapped in an endless cycle of failure because he's ultimately a mediocre person and will never do anything of value with his life. Demoralized, Hairy declares that he needs to go home and think about his life; Danish tells him "It won't help," since she's just finished telling him that he'll never succeed at changing.

The title text refers to {{w|Michael Jordan}}, a very popular and accomplished {{w|basketball}} player who played for the {{w|Chicago Bulls}} and the {{w|Washington Wizards}}. His name is often used as a noun to denote that someone is the best in their field, which is later used in [[1120: Blurring the Line]].

The pick up subject and Hairy returned in [[1178: Pickup Artists]], where he tries to improve his skills (which he must have felt he needed after this experience), by hanging out with other pickup artists, thus the plural version of the comic title. This comic is one of a small set of comics with the same or almost the same title as another comic (only plural form of artist the difference).

==Transcript==
:[Hairy and Cueball sitting at a table.]
:Hairy: I've been learning tricks from pickup artist forums.
:Cueball: Pickup artists are dehumanizing creeps who see relationships as adversarial and women as sex toys.

:[Close-up of Hairy's head, with a faint outline of Black hat and Danish sitting at a table in the background.]
:Hairy: No, it's just a bunch of tips! Like ''negging'': you belittle chicks to undermine their self-confidence so they'll be more vulnerable and seek your approval.

:[Close-up of Cueball's head.]
:Cueball: Just talk to them like a fucking human being.
:Hairy: Nah, that's a sucker's game. Ok— wish me luck!

:''Meanwhile''
:[Black Hat and Danish at a table. Black hat is standing up with a bowling ball under his arm.]
:Black Hat: I'm going to the bathroom to roll a bowling ball under the line of stalls.
:Danish: Cool.

:[Close up of Cueball's head, with Hairy approaching Danish's table in the background.]
:Cueball: Oh no.

:[Hairy and Danish at a table. Hairy is standing up and leaning on the table.]
:Hairy: You look like you're on a diet. That's great! How's the fruit plate?

:[Close-up of Danish's head.]
:Danish: Ooh- are we negging? Let me try!

:[Close-up of Danish's head, with her hand raised.]
:Danish: You look like you're going to spend your life having one epiphany after another, always thinking you've finally figured out what's holding you back, and how you can finally be productive and creative and turn your life around. But nothing will ever change. That cycle of mediocrity isn't due to some obstacle. It's who you ''are''. The thing standing in the way of your dreams is; that the person having them is ''you''.

:[Hairy and Danish at a table. Hairy is standing up.]
:Danish: Ok, your turn! Ooh, try insulting my hair!
:Hairy: I think I need to go home and think about my life.
:Danish: It won't help.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Pickup Artist01]]

1636: XKCD Stack

2016-01-29T07:38:20Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation of steps */

{{comic
| number = 1636
| date = January 29, 2016
| title = XKCD Stack
| image = xkcd_stack.png
| titletext = This site requires Sun Java 6.0.0.1 (32-bit) or higher. You have Macromedia Java 7.3.8.1Â¾ (48-bit). Click here [link to java.com main page] to download an installer which will run fine but not really change anything.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Needs more detail.}}

In software engineering, a tech stack is the set of technology platforms and tools that a company or app uses. A common tech stack is LAMP, composed of a Linux operating system, an Apache web server, a MySQL database, and the PHP programming language. In this comic, the XKCD stack is introduced. The technologies comprising it are either non-existent, unreliable, or outdated.

===Explanation of steps===
{| class="wikitable"
| | Layer
| | Explanation
|-
| |
EBNF/CSS
| |

|-
| |
Broken Java Applet
| |

|-
| |
Archive.org Mirror
| |

|-
| |
Hypercard.js
| |

|-
| |
QBasic on Rails
| |

|-
| |
[Blocked by AdBlocker]
| |

|-
| |
MongoDB/Excel
| |

|-
| |
Some piece that works so nobody asks any questions
| |

|-
| |
Triply-Nested Docker
| |

|-
| |
Paravirtual Boy®
| |
This is a reference to the Virtual Boy, a failed portable console created by Nintendo.
|-
| |
A dev typing real fast
| |

|-
| |
Older version of our software
| |

|-
| |
Mystery Networking Horror
| |

|-
| |
Microsoft Bob Server®
| |

|-
| |
A giant CPU someone built in Minecraft
| |
Minecraft is a popular sandblock game where you place blocks to build things. Since the introduction of Redstone objects (materials used to create basic electric circuits within the game) people have made many machines within Minecraft, including calculators and clocks. Since the introduction of the Command Block in 1.3, players can now code within the game and create new creatures, new games and even more complex computers. While we aren't at this stage yet, Randall seems to be making reference to how Minecraft's redstone aspect has changed a lot and how you can do so much more in the game.
|}

==Transcript==

Introducing

The XKCD Stack
{| class="wikitable"
| |
EBNF/CSS
|-
| |
Broken Java Applet
|-
| |
Archive.org Mirror
|-
| |
Hypercard.js
|-
| |
QBasic on Rails
|-
| |
[Blocked by AdBlocker]
|-
| |
MongoDB/Excel
|-
| |
Some piece that works so nobody asks any questions
|-
| |
Triply-Nested Docker
|-
| |
Paravirtual Boy®
|-
| |
A dev typing real fast
|-
| |
Older version of our software
|-
| |
Mystery Networking Horror
|-
| |
Microsoft Bob Server®
|-
| |
A giant CPU someone built in Minecraft
|}

{{comic discussion}}

1579: Tech Loops

2015-09-18T16:00:40Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1579
| date = September 18, 2015
| title = Tech Loops
| image = tech_loops.png
| titletext = And when I think about it, a lot of "things I want to do" are just learning about and discussing new tools for tinkering with the chain.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|First attempt, typed quickly and probably dirtily}}

The comic is about how much of the time one might spend on a computer as a geek tends to be in maintaining the system itself rather using it, up to the point where maintaining the system becomes the main goal. Often the operating system needs periodic updates, which might break some apps which in turn need to be updated; apps themselves might need to be updated, which can create all sort of incompatibilities which one then needs to spend time fixing.

Most people consider computers as tools to achieve something else -- e.g. to surf the web, read news or balance their bank account -- and they rather not have to maintain the OS or the computer if they can avoid it. However here Randall finds he's spending most of the time using his computer just for the sake of maintaining the OS or the hardware on said computer. It's tools for the sake of tooling, rather than tools as helpers to build something else.

A hardware equivalent would be reprap: get a 3d printer and end up spending all the time printing 3d parts for the printer instead of creating something else like toys or art.

The perils of hardware updates have been shown in [[349: Success]]

''(previous explanation below, somebody please edit and reconcile if you find both points of view interesting.)''

This comic is about how technically oriented people find more and more complex tools to solve simple problems, which is frustrating.

Usually, people who have used computers in the 1980s and 1990s feel that current tools are very powerful, but aimed at the wrong targets. A real life example of this can be someone who finds the Android keyboard lacks non-English characters, so this person thinks about programming a new keyboard app adding a few keys for characters used often in another language. This user tries to find simple example of Android programs to start learning the basics, and finds surprisingly that the "simple" application in Android is one that finds the GPS coordinates of the current position, searches for nearby gas stations and presents the user with a map for those gas stations.
This would be considered really, really difficult for traditional programming, especially if compared to the relatively simple task of presenting a keyboard on screen. One of the sections of the loop, where "VM" and "Chat Client" are listed is likely a reference to [[1305: Undocumented Feature]].

So, in the comic [[Randall]] finds that the things he wishes to do with his computer (maybe presenting a simple keyboard on screen or performing some simple calculations) can't be done easily, however there are plenty of libraries and tools for other, much more complex, tasks, which in some cases could be related to what he is trying to do but in any event are far too complex to learn and not well suited for the simple goal in his mind.

This is similar to a traditional joke which can be found on [http://www.pfccheatsheet.com/fnpgmr90.htm this link].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Logic]]
[[Category:Computers]]

1579: Tech Loops

2015-09-18T15:59:47Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1579
| date = September 18, 2015
| title = Tech Loops
| image = tech_loops.png
| titletext = And when I think about it, a lot of "things I want to do" are just learning about and discussing new tools for tinkering with the chain.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|First attempt, typed quickly and probably dirtily}}

The comic is about how much of the time one might spend on a computer as a geek tends to be in maintaining the system itself rather using it, up to the point where maintaining the system becomes the main goal. Often the operating system needs periodic updates, which might break some apps which in turn need to be updated; apps themselves might need to be updated, which can create all sort of incompatibilities which one then needs to spend time fixing.

Most people consider computers as tools to achieve something else -- e.g. to surf the web, read news or balance their bank account -- and they rather not have to maintain the OS or the computer if they can avoid it. However here Randall finds he's spending most of the time using his computer just for the sake of maintaining the OS or the hardware on said computer. It's tools for the sake of tooling, rather than tools as helpers to build something else.

A hardware equivalent would be reprap: get a 3d printer and end up spending all the time printing 3d parts for the printer instead of creating something else like toys or art.

The perils of hardware updates have been shown in 349: Success

''(previous explanation below, somebody please edit and reconcile if you find both points of view interesting.)''

This comic is about how technically oriented people find more and more complex tools to solve simple problems, which is frustrating.

Usually, people who have used computers in the 1980s and 1990s feel that current tools are very powerful, but aimed at the wrong targets. A real life example of this can be someone who finds the Android keyboard lacks non-English characters, so this person thinks about programming a new keyboard app adding a few keys for characters used often in another language. This user tries to find simple example of Android programs to start learning the basics, and finds surprisingly that the "simple" application in Android is one that finds the GPS coordinates of the current position, searches for nearby gas stations and presents the user with a map for those gas stations.
This would be considered really, really difficult for traditional programming, especially if compared to the relatively simple task of presenting a keyboard on screen. One of the sections of the loop, where "VM" and "Chat Client" are listed is likely a reference to [[1305: Undocumented Feature]].

So, in the comic [[Randall]] finds that the things he wishes to do with his computer (maybe presenting a simple keyboard on screen or performing some simple calculations) can't be done easily, however there are plenty of libraries and tools for other, much more complex, tasks, which in some cases could be related to what he is trying to do but in any event are far too complex to learn and not well suited for the simple goal in his mind.

This is similar to a traditional joke which can be found on [http://www.pfccheatsheet.com/fnpgmr90.htm this link].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Logic]]
[[Category:Computers]]

1579: Tech Loops

2015-09-18T15:59:14Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1579
| date = September 18, 2015
| title = Tech Loops
| image = tech_loops.png
| titletext = And when I think about it, a lot of "things I want to do" are just learning about and discussing new tools for tinkering with the chain.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|First attempt, typed quickly and probably dirtily}}

The comic is about how much of the time one might spend on a computer as a geek tends to be in maintaining the system itself rather using it, up to the point where maintaining the system becomes the main goal. Often the operating system needs periodic updates, which might break some apps which in turn need to be updated; apps themselves might need to be updated, which can create all sort of incompatibilities which one then needs to spend time fixing.

Most people consider computers as tools to achieve something else -- e.g. to surf the web, read news or balance their bank account -- and they rather not have to maintain the OS or the computer if they can avoid it. However here Randall finds he's spending most of the time using his computer just for the sake of maintaining the OS or the hardware on said computer. It's tools for the sake of tooling, rather than tools as helpers to build something else.

A hardware equivalent would be reprap: get a 3d printer and end up spending all the time printing 3d parts for the printer instead of creating something else like toys or art.

The perils of hardware updates have been shown in [349: Success].

''(previous explanation below, somebody please edit and reconcile if you find both points of view interesting.)''

This comic is about how technically oriented people find more and more complex tools to solve simple problems, which is frustrating.

Usually, people who have used computers in the 1980s and 1990s feel that current tools are very powerful, but aimed at the wrong targets. A real life example of this can be someone who finds the Android keyboard lacks non-English characters, so this person thinks about programming a new keyboard app adding a few keys for characters used often in another language. This user tries to find simple example of Android programs to start learning the basics, and finds surprisingly that the "simple" application in Android is one that finds the GPS coordinates of the current position, searches for nearby gas stations and presents the user with a map for those gas stations.
This would be considered really, really difficult for traditional programming, especially if compared to the relatively simple task of presenting a keyboard on screen. One of the sections of the loop, where "VM" and "Chat Client" are listed is likely a reference to [[1305: Undocumented Feature]].

So, in the comic [[Randall]] finds that the things he wishes to do with his computer (maybe presenting a simple keyboard on screen or performing some simple calculations) can't be done easily, however there are plenty of libraries and tools for other, much more complex, tasks, which in some cases could be related to what he is trying to do but in any event are far too complex to learn and not well suited for the simple goal in his mind.

This is similar to a traditional joke which can be found on [http://www.pfccheatsheet.com/fnpgmr90.htm this link].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Logic]]
[[Category:Computers]]

924: 3D Printer

2015-09-12T13:10:48Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 924
| date = July 13, 2011
| title = 3D Printer
| image = 3d_printer.png
| titletext = I just can't wait for the Better Homes and Gardens list of helpful tips for household reuse of sixteen-inch acrylonitrile-butadiene-styrene phalluses.
}}

==Explanation==
With the ongoing development of {{w|3D Printers|3D printing}} technology, the cost of low end 3D printers continues to reduce steadily, and the complexity of modelling and producing components is becoming easier. These factors, among others, means that 3D printers are beginning to be found in homes, rather than exclusively in businesses. [[Ponytail]] & [[Cueball]] are discussing the improvements and expect widespread deployment soon.

Spam emails promoting penis-enlargement products are very common, and often show images of unnaturally large penises to advertise how effective they are. The adverts prevalence and aggressive marketing techniques have made them a well known staple of email inboxes, though the improvement of spam filters has increasingly banished them to the spam folder.

Cueball and Ponytail predict that the spam producers will quickly jump on the opportunity presented by the widespread prevalence of 3D printers, and start advertising their wares with 3D printed phalluses. Usually someone would have to chose to print out a spam email, but it wouldn't be difficult to imagine a scenario where the email contains malicious code which automatically prints them a huge phallus.

In the title text, Better Homes and Gardens is an American magazine that, as the name suggests, shows you how to make your home and garden better often by reusing common household items in new and innovative ways. {{w|Acrylonitrile-butadiene-styrene}} (or ABS) is a light-weight and moldable plastic which makes it perfect for 3D printers.

==Transcript==
:[Two people before a 3D printer, one with a wrench.]
:Cueball: 3D printers are getting incredible.
:Ponytail: I think we're not far from widespread deployment.

:Ponytail: And you know what that means.

:Cueball: Spam containing actual enlarged penises?
:Ponytail: I give it a week.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]

966: Jet Fuel

2015-07-29T09:38:49Z

LuigiBrick: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 966
| date = October 19, 2011
| title = Jet Fuel
| image = jet_fuel.png
| titletext = The 'controlled demolition' theory was concocted by the government to distract us. '9/11 was an inside job' was an inside job!
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a reference to the "{{w|9/11}} {{w|9/11 truther|Was An Inside Job}}" theory that the {{w|World Trade Center}} in {{w|New York City}} was blown up by a "controlled demolition". [[Hairy]] uses the typical argument and [[Cueball]] one ups the craziness and of course Hairy eats it up. The {{w|Chemtrail}}s conspiracy theory is a completely different conspiracy theory which says that (exactly as Cueball does) the US Government puts chemicals and mind control agents in jets and airliners to subtly have US citizens ingest the agents.

And the title text is the natural "double down" on a theory which says that the conspiracy theory itself was concocted by the government and was supposed to distract from the truth, a parodic theory already seen in ''South Park'' episode {{w|Mystery of the Urinal Deuce}}.

For those wondering: it is true that kerosene does not burn hot enough to ''melt'' steel, but it does burn hot enough to cut the steel's supporting strength roughly in half, which is more than enough to collapse a building weighing thousands of tons. (Although standard engineering practice is to use a safety factor of three, and a safety factor of two is sufficient to allow for a 50% reduction in strength, several columns were severed in the initial impact, increasing the stress on the remaining columns.)

Cueball messing with 9/11 truther conspiracy theorists was also the subject of [[690: Semicontrolled Demolition]].

==Transcript==
:[Two people are having a conversation.]

:Hairy: 9/11 was an inside job! Jet fuel can't burn hot enough to melt steel!
:Cueball: Well, remember — jet fuel wasn't the only thing on those planes. They would've also carried tanks full of the mind-control agents airliners use to make chemtrails. Who ''knows'' what temperature that stuff burns at!
:Hairy: Whoa. Good point!

:My Hobby: Playing conspiracy theories off against each other.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:My Hobby]]
[[Category:Conspiracy theory]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]

966: Jet Fuel

2015-07-29T09:38:19Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 966
| date = October 19, 2011
| title = Jet Fuel
| image = jet_fuel.png
| titletext = The 'controlled demolition' theory was concocted by the government to distract us. '9/11 was an inside job' was an inside job!
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a reference to the "{{w|9/11}} {{w|9/11 truther|Was An Inside Job}}" theory that the {{w|World Trade Center}} in {{w|New York City}} was blown up by a "controlled demolition". [[Hairy]] uses the typical argument and [[Cueball]] one ups the craziness and of course Hairy eats it up. The {{w|Chemtrail}}s conspiracy theory is a completely different conspiracy theory which says that (exactly as Cueball does) the US Government puts chemicals and mind control agents in jets and airliners to subtly have US citizens ingest the agents.

And the title text is the natural "double down" on a theory which says that the conspiracy theory itself was concocted by the government and was supposed to distract from the truth, a parodic theory already seen in ''South Park'' episode {{w|Mystery of the Urinal Deuce}}.

For those wondering: it is true that kerosene does not burn hot enough to ''melt'' steel, but it does burn hot enough to cut the steel's supporting strength roughly in half, which is more than enough to collapse a building weighing thousands of tons. (Although standard engineering practice is to use a safety factor of three, and a safety factor of two is sufficient to allow for a 50% reduction in strength, several columns were severed in the initial impact, increasing the stress on the remaining columns.)

Cueball messing with 9/11 truther conspiracy theorists was also the subject of [[690: Semicontrolled Demolition]].

==Transcript==
:[Two people are having a conversation.]
:Person: 9/11 was an inside job! Jet fuel can't burn hot enough to melt steel!
:Cueball: Well, remember — jet fuel wasn't the only thing on those planes. They would've also carried tanks full of the mind-control agents airliners use to make chemtrails. Who ''knows'' what temperature that stuff burns at!
:Person: Whoa. Good point!

:My Hobby: Playing conspiracy theories off against each other.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:My Hobby]]
[[Category:Conspiracy theory]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]

966: Jet Fuel

2015-07-29T09:37:39Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 966
| date = October 19, 2011
| title = Jet Fuel
| image = jet_fuel.png
| titletext = The 'controlled demolition' theory was concocted by the government to distract us. '9/11 was an inside job' was an inside job!
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a reference to the "{{w|9/11}} {{w|9/11 truther|Was An Inside Job}}" theory that the {{w|World Trade Center}} in {{w|New York City}} was blown up by a "controlled demolition". [[Hairy]] uses the typical argument and [[Cueball]] one ups the craziness and of course the balding guy eats it up. The {{w|Chemtrail}}s conspiracy theory is a completely different conspiracy theory which says that (exactly as Cueball does) the US Government puts chemicals and mind control agents in jets and airliners to subtly have US citizens ingest the agents.

And the title text is the natural "double down" on a theory which says that the conspiracy theory itself was concocted by the government and was supposed to distract from the truth, a parodic theory already seen in ''South Park'' episode {{w|Mystery of the Urinal Deuce}}.

For those wondering: it is true that kerosene does not burn hot enough to ''melt'' steel, but it does burn hot enough to cut the steel's supporting strength roughly in half, which is more than enough to collapse a building weighing thousands of tons. (Although standard engineering practice is to use a safety factor of three, and a safety factor of two is sufficient to allow for a 50% reduction in strength, several columns were severed in the initial impact, increasing the stress on the remaining columns.)

Cueball messing with 9/11 truther conspiracy theorists was also the subject of [[690: Semicontrolled Demolition]].

==Transcript==
:[Two people are having a conversation.]
:Person: 9/11 was an inside job! Jet fuel can't burn hot enough to melt steel!
:Cueball: Well, remember — jet fuel wasn't the only thing on those planes. They would've also carried tanks full of the mind-control agents airliners use to make chemtrails. Who ''knows'' what temperature that stuff burns at!
:Person: Whoa. Good point!

:My Hobby: Playing conspiracy theories off against each other.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:My Hobby]]
[[Category:Conspiracy theory]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]

1549: xkcd Phone 3

2015-07-10T08:21:15Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1549
| date = July 10, 2015
| title = XKCD Phone 3
| image = xkcd_phone_3.png
| titletext = If you're not completely satisfied with the phone after 30 days, we will return you to your home at no cost.
}}

{{Incomplete|First draft}}

==Explanation==
This is a follow up to [[1363: xkcd Phone]] and [[1465: xkcd Phone 2]]. It parodies common smartphone specs by attributing absurd or useless features to a fictional phone.

{| class="wikitable"
!Feature
!Explanation
|-
|'''Ear screen'''
| A strange phrase as the word screen refers to a visual artifact while the ear process sound. It may refer to the loudspeaker.
|-
|'''Heartbeat accelerator'''
| A mashup of heartbeat sensor and accelerometer. May be some sort of external pacemaker. If that's the case, it's worrying that it only accelerates, potentially causing a positive feedback (heart attack).
|-
|'''MobilePay money clip'''
| While mobile pay is a form of payment involving electronic transfers via cellphone, this model includes a money clip; a way of holding physical bills together, which beats the purpose of electronic payment. Whether this is a clip that transfers money digitally or the phrase mobile pay is just a marketing tag is unknown.
|-
|'''Siri, or whoever it was we put in here'''
| A joke on intelligent personal assistants. It also jokes that Siri and the like are actual people, trapped inside of phones.
|-
|'''Instead of being on surface only, screen goes all the way through'''
| A reference to surface screens
|-
|'''theknot.com partnership: Phone licensed to perform wedding ceremonies and does so at random'''
|
|-
|'''Fingerprint randomizer'''
| Presumably randomises the user's finger print, which may or may not be inconvenient depending on the intent of the user. It is not clear whether the device will change the person's fingerprint into a human-like fingerprint that is randomly selected from all possibilities, or if it completely mangles the fingerprint of the user
|-
|'''USB E (hotswappable)'''
| A USB cable that presumably charges the phone and allows to transfer files like normal, but this kind lets you perform [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_swapping Hot swapping] (replacing computer system components without turning the system off) with it, which would be pointless because the USB will not affect the phone if you took the components out, so you can keep it in away.
|-
|'''waterproof, but can drown'''
| Perhaps a reference to Siri or the person trapped in the phone drowning, but the phone itself staying functional. This is another human-like function, which the first 2 XKCD Phone comics had.
|-
|'''Foretold by prophecy'''
| Likely mocking people on the internet who attempt to predict when Apple will release their next device.
|-
|'''Runs Natively'''
| All software in the phone will run specifically to the capabilities of the internal hardware. This would make the phone incapable of running most widely used applications from app stores, which would render it useless to most people.
|-
|'''Wristband'''
| Probably mocking trending smart watches
|-
|'''Wireless discharging'''
| Many modern cellphones feature wireless charging, which uses electromagnetic induction to charge the battery of the device. This model, apparently uses the same technology to discharge the battery; which, of course is something undesired, as one needs the battery's energy to run the phone. May also refer to the standard behaviour of the phone's antenna, which communicates wirelessly via EM radio waves, but discharges the battery in doing so.
|-
|'''Magnetic stripe'''
| A data storage method used by devices such as credit cards and key cards to hold and transfer smalls amounts of information like key codes. Usually cellphones don't have them as they utilize more robust and protected ways to store and transmit data. The magnetic stripe shown would also be very annoying as it seems to block part of the screen. It's also likely unusable with current magnetic stripe readers due to the phone's thickness, in contrast to that of regular cards.
|-
|'''2 AA batteries (not included)'''
| A phrase usually shown on small low powered electronic devices like remote controllers, and not on cellphones; which use lithium ion batteries and need to be constantly recharged for continuous use.
|-
|'''boneless'''
| Reference to meat or fish products being boneless, i.e. having all the bones removed, making it convenient to cook or eat. Unclear why a phone would be boneless since it is mostly inedible, perhaps a reference to the person trapped inside having their bones removed to make them easier to fit inside, or stating that the phone is flexible. (A possible reference to the iPhone 6's reported problems with it's chassis, where it [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IPhone_6#Chassis_bending could bend under pressure])
|}

The phrase "We made another one®©™" is a reference to how phone companies release new phones very often, and the trademarks that surround the phone itself.

The title text is a joke on guarantees and customer service. Usually the advertisement says that if the customer is not satisfied with the product, they'll refund the money and take the product back at no additional cost. In this case they guarantee the customer they'll send him/her home without charge; implying they won't fix or refund anything.

==Transcript==
:Ear screen
:Heartbeat accelerator
:MobilePay money clip
:Siri, or whoever it was w put in here
:Instead of being on surface only, screen goes all the way through
:theknot.con partnership: Phone licensed to perform wedding ceremonies and does so at random
:Fingerprint randomizer
:USB E (hotswappable)
:waterproof, but can drown
:Foretold by prophecy
:Runs Natively
:Wristband
:Wireless discharging
:Magnetic stripe
:2 AA batteries (not included)
:boneless

:Introducing
:The XKCD phone 3
:we made another one®©™

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Smartphones]]

1549: xkcd Phone 3

2015-07-10T08:20:37Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1549
| date = July 10, 2015
| title = XKCD Phone 3
| image = xkcd_phone_3.png
| titletext = If you're not completely satisfied with the phone after 30 days, we will return you to your home at no cost.
}}

{{Incomplete|First draft}}

==Explanation==
This is a follow up to [[1363: xkcd Phone]] and [[1465: xkcd Phone 2]]. It parodies common smartphone specs by attributing absurd or useless features to a fictional phone.

{| class="wikitable"
!Feature
!Explanation
|-
|'''Ear screen'''
| A strange phrase as the word screen refers to a visual artifact while the ear process sound. It may refer to the loudspeaker.
|-
|'''Heartbeat accelerator'''
| A mashup of heartbeat sensor and accelerometer. May be some sort of external pacemaker. If that's the case, it's worrying that it only accelerates, potentially causing a positive feedback (heart attack).
|-
|'''MobilePay money clip'''
| While mobile pay is a form of payment involving electronic transfers via cellphone, this model includes a money clip; a way of holding physical bills together, which beats the purpose of electronic payment. Whether this is a clip that transfers money digitally or the phrase mobile pay is just a marketing tag is unknown.
|-
|'''Siri, or whoever it was we put in here'''
| A joke on intelligent personal assistants. It also jokes that Siri and the like are actual people, trapped inside of phones.
|-
|'''Instead of being on surface only, screen goes all the way through''' A reference to "surface screens"
|
|-
|'''theknot.com partnership: Phone licensed to perform wedding ceremonies and does so at random'''
|
|-
|'''Fingerprint randomizer'''
| Presumably randomises the user's finger print, which may or may not be inconvenient depending on the intent of the user. It is not clear whether the device will change the person's fingerprint into a human-like fingerprint that is randomly selected from all possibilities, or if it completely mangles the fingerprint of the user
|-
|'''USB E (hotswappable)'''
| A USB cable that presumably charges the phone and allows to transfer files like normal, but this kind lets you perform [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_swapping Hot swapping] (replacing computer system components without turning the system off) with it, which would be pointless because the USB will not affect the phone if you took the components out, so you can keep it in away.
|-
|'''waterproof, but can drown'''
| Perhaps a reference to Siri or the person trapped in the phone drowning, but the phone itself staying functional. This is another human-like function, which the first 2 XKCD Phone comics had.
|-
|'''Foretold by prophecy'''
| Likely mocking people on the internet who attempt to predict when Apple will release their next device.
|-
|'''Runs Natively'''
| All software in the phone will run specifically to the capabilities of the internal hardware. This would make the phone incapable of running most widely used applications from app stores, which would render it useless to most people.
|-
|'''Wristband'''
| Probably mocking trending smart watches
|-
|'''Wireless discharging'''
| Many modern cellphones feature wireless charging, which uses electromagnetic induction to charge the battery of the device. This model, apparently uses the same technology to discharge the battery; which, of course is something undesired, as one needs the battery's energy to run the phone. May also refer to the standard behaviour of the phone's antenna, which communicates wirelessly via EM radio waves, but discharges the battery in doing so.
|-
|'''Magnetic stripe'''
| A data storage method used by devices such as credit cards and key cards to hold and transfer smalls amounts of information like key codes. Usually cellphones don't have them as they utilize more robust and protected ways to store and transmit data. The magnetic stripe shown would also be very annoying as it seems to block part of the screen. It's also likely unusable with current magnetic stripe readers due to the phone's thickness, in contrast to that of regular cards.
|-
|'''2 AA batteries (not included)'''
| A phrase usually shown on small low powered electronic devices like remote controllers, and not on cellphones; which use lithium ion batteries and need to be constantly recharged for continuous use.
|-
|'''boneless'''
| Reference to meat or fish products being boneless, i.e. having all the bones removed, making it convenient to cook or eat. Unclear why a phone would be boneless since it is mostly inedible, perhaps a reference to the person trapped inside having their bones removed to make them easier to fit inside, or stating that the phone is flexible. (A possible reference to the iPhone 6's reported problems with it's chassis, where it [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IPhone_6#Chassis_bending could bend under pressure])
|}

The phrase "We made another one®©™" is a reference to how phone companies release new phones very often, and the trademarks that surround the phone itself.

The title text is a joke on guarantees and customer service. Usually the advertisement says that if the customer is not satisfied with the product, they'll refund the money and take the product back at no additional cost. In this case they guarantee the customer they'll send him/her home without charge; implying they won't fix or refund anything.

==Transcript==
:Ear screen
:Heartbeat accelerator
:MobilePay money clip
:Siri, or whoever it was w put in here
:Instead of being on surface only, screen goes all the way through
:theknot.con partnership: Phone licensed to perform wedding ceremonies and does so at random
:Fingerprint randomizer
:USB E (hotswappable)
:waterproof, but can drown
:Foretold by prophecy
:Runs Natively
:Wristband
:Wireless discharging
:Magnetic stripe
:2 AA batteries (not included)
:boneless

:Introducing
:The XKCD phone 3
:we made another one®©™

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Smartphones]]

1549: xkcd Phone 3

2015-07-10T08:18:43Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1549
| date = July 10, 2015
| title = XKCD Phone 3
| image = xkcd_phone_3.png
| titletext = If you're not completely satisfied with the phone after 30 days, we will return you to your home at no cost.
}}

{{Incomplete|First draft}}

==Explanation==
This is a follow up to [[1363: xkcd Phone]] and [[1465: xkcd Phone 2]]. It parodies common smartphone specs by attributing absurd or useless features to a fictional phone.

{| class="wikitable"
!Feature
!Explanation
|-
|'''Ear screen'''
| A strange phrase as the word screen refers to a visual artifact while the ear process sound. It may refer to the loudspeaker.
|-
|'''Heartbeat accelerator'''
| A mashup of heartbeat sensor and accelerometer. May be some sort of external pacemaker. If that's the case, it's worrying that it only accelerates, potentially causing a positive feedback (heart attack).
|-
|'''MobilePay money clip'''
| While mobile pay is a form of payment involving electronic transfers via cellphone, this model includes a money clip; a way of holding physical bills together, which beats the purpose of electronic payment. Whether this is a clip that transfers money digitally or the phrase mobile pay is just a marketing tag is unknown.
|-
|'''Siri, or whoever it was we put in here'''
| A joke on intelligent personal assistants. It also jokes that Siri and the like are actual people, trapped inside of phones.
|-
|'''Instead of being on surface only, screen goes all the way through'''
|
|-
|'''theknot.com partnership: Phone licensed to perform wedding ceremonies and does so at random'''
|
|-
|'''Fingerprint randomizer'''
| Presumably randomises the user's finger print, which may or may not be inconvenient depending on the intent of the user. It is not clear whether the device will change the person's fingerprint into a human-like fingerprint that is randomly selected from all possibilities, or if it completely mangles the fingerprint of the user
|-
|'''USB E (hotswappable)'''
| A USB cable that presumably charges the phone and allows to transfer files like normal, but this kind lets you perform [w|Hot swapping] (replacing computer system components without turning the system off) with it, which would be pointless because the USB will not affect the phone if you took the components out, so you can keep it in away.
|-
|'''waterproof, but can drown'''
| Perhaps a reference to Siri or the person trapped in the phone drowning, but the phone itself staying functional. This is another human-like function, which the first 2 XKCD Phone comics had.
|-
|'''Foretold by prophecy'''
| Likely mocking people on the internet who attempt to predict when Apple will release their next device.
|-
|'''Runs Natively'''
| All software in the phone will run specifically to the capabilities of the internal hardware. This would make the phone incapable of running most widely used applications from app stores, which would render it useless to most people.
|-
|'''Wristband'''
| Probably mocking trending smart watches
|-
|'''Wireless discharging'''
| Many modern cellphones feature wireless charging, which uses electromagnetic induction to charge the battery of the device. This model, apparently uses the same technology to discharge the battery; which, of course is something undesired, as one needs the battery's energy to run the phone. May also refer to the standard behaviour of the phone's antenna, which communicates wirelessly via EM radio waves, but discharges the battery in doing so.
|-
|'''Magnetic stripe'''
| A data storage method used by devices such as credit cards and key cards to hold and transfer smalls amounts of information like key codes. Usually cellphones don't have them as they utilize more robust and protected ways to store and transmit data. The magnetic stripe shown would also be very annoying as it seems to block part of the screen. It's also likely unusable with current magnetic stripe readers due to the phone's thickness, in contrast to that of regular cards.
|-
|'''2 AA batteries (not included)'''
| A phrase usually shown on small low powered electronic devices like remote controllers, and not on cellphones; which use lithium ion batteries and need to be constantly recharged for continuous use.
|-
|'''boneless'''
| Reference to meat or fish products being boneless, i.e. having all the bones removed, making it convenient to cook or eat. Unclear why a phone would be boneless since it is mostly inedible, perhaps a reference to the person trapped inside having their bones removed to make them easier to fit inside, or stating that the phone is flexible. (A possible reference to the iPhone 6's reported problems with it's chassis, where it [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IPhone_6#Chassis_bending could bend under pressure])
|}

The phrase "We made another one®©™" is a reference to how phone companies release new phones very often, and the trademarks that surround the phone itself.

The title text is a joke on guarantees and customer service. Usually the advertisement says that if the customer is not satisfied with the product, they'll refund the money and take the product back at no additional cost. In this case they guarantee the customer they'll send him/her home without charge; implying they won't fix or refund anything.

==Transcript==
:Ear screen
:Heartbeat accelerator
:MobilePay money clip
:Siri, or whoever it was w put in here
:Instead of being on surface only, screen goes all the way through
:theknot.con partnership: Phone licensed to perform wedding ceremonies and does so at random
:Fingerprint randomizer
:USB E (hotswappable)
:waterproof, but can drown
:Foretold by prophecy
:Runs Natively
:Wristband
:Wireless discharging
:Magnetic stripe
:2 AA batteries (not included)
:boneless

:Introducing
:The XKCD phone 3
:we made another one®©™

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Smartphones]]

1549: xkcd Phone 3

2015-07-10T08:00:45Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1549
| date = July 10, 2015
| title = XKCD Phone 3
| image = xkcd_phone_3.png
| titletext = If you're not completely satisfied with the phone after 30 days, we will return you to your home at no cost.
}}

{{Incomplete|First draft}}

==Explanation==
This is a follow up to [[1363: xkcd Phone]] and [[1465: xkcd Phone 2]]. It parodies common smartphone specs by attributing absurd or useless features to a fictional phone.

*'''Ear screen''': A strange phrase as the word screen refers to a visual artifact while the ear process sound. It may refer to the loudspeaker.
*'''Heartbeat accelerator''': A mashup of heartbeat sensor and accelerometer. May be some sort of external pacemaker. If that's the case, it's worrying that it only accelerates, potentially causing a positive feedback (heart attack).
*'''MobilePay money clip''': While mobile pay is a form of payment involving electronic transfers via cellphone, this model includes a money clip; a way of holding physical bills together, which beats the purpose of electronic payment. Whether this is a clip that transfers money digitally or the phrase mobile pay is just a marketing tag is unknown.
*'''Siri, or whoever it was we put in here''': A joke on intelligent personal assistants. It also jokes that Siri and the like are actual people, trapped inside of phones.
*'''Instead of being on surface only, screen goes all the way through''':
*'''theknot.com partnership: Phone licensed to perform wedding ceremonies and does so at random''':
*'''Fingerprint randomizer''': Presumably randomises the user's finger print, which may or may not be inconvenient depending on the intent of the user. It is not clear whether the device will change the person's fingerprint into a human-like fingerprint that is randomly selected from all possibilities, or if it completely mangles the fingerprint of the user.
*'''USB E (hotswappable)''':
*'''waterproof, but can drown''': Perhaps a reference to Siri or the person trapped in the phone drowning, but the phone itself staying functional.
*'''Foretold by prophecy''': Likely mocking people on the internet who attempt to predict when Apple will release their next device.
*'''Runs Natively''':All software in the phone will run specifically to the capabilities of the internal hardware. This would make the phone incapable of running most widely used applications from app stores, which would render it useless to most people.
*'''Wristband''': Probably mocking trending smart watches
*'''Wireless discharging''': Many modern cellphones feature wireless charging, which uses electromagnetic induction to charge the battery of the device. This model, apparently uses the same technology to discharge the battery; which, of course is something undesired, as one needs the battery's energy to run the phone.
*'''Magnetic stripe''': A data storage method used by devices such as credit cards and key cards to hold and transfer smalls amounts of information like key codes. Usually cellphones don't have them as they utilize more robust and protected ways to store and transmit data. The magnetic stripe shown would also be very annoying as it seems to block part of the screen. It's also likely unusable with current magnetic stripe readers due to the phone's thickness, in contrast to that of regular cards.
*'''2 AA batteries (not included)''': A phrase usually shown on small low powered electronic devices like remote controllers, and not on cellphones; which use lithium ion batteries and need to be constantly recharged for continuous use.
*'''boneless''': Reference to meat products being boneless, i.e. having all the bones removed, making it convenient to cook or eat. Unclear why a phone would be boneless since it is mostly inedible, perhaps a reference to the person trapped inside having their bones removed to make them easier to fit inside, or stating that the phone is flexible. (A possible reference to the iPhone 6's reported problems with it's chassis, where it [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IPhone_6#Chassis_bending could bend under pressure])

The title text is a joke on guarantees and customer service. Usually the advertisement says that if the customer is not satisfied with the product, they'll refund the money and take the product back at no additional cost. In this case they guarantee the customer they'll send him/her home without charge; implying they won't fix or refund anything.

==Transcript==
:Ear screen
:Heartbeat accelerator
:MobilePay money clip
:Siri, or whoever it was w put in here
:Instead of being on surface only, screen goes all the way through
:theknot.con partnership: Phone licensed to perform wedding ceremonies and does so at random
:Fingerprint randomizer
:USB E (hotswappable)
:waterproof, but can drown
:Foretold by prophecy
:Runs Natively
:Wristband
:Wireless discharging
:Magnetic stripe
:2 AA batteries (not included)
:boneless

:Introducing
:The XKCD phone 3
:we made another one®©™

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Smartphones]]

1338: Land Mammals

2015-07-01T17:42:18Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1338
| date = March 5, 2014
| title = Land Mammals
| image = land_mammals.png
| titletext = Bacteria still outweigh us thousands to one--and that's not even counting the several pounds of them in your body.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic may be a [[Nerd Sniping|nerd snipe]] from [[Randall]], challenging his readers to figure out the missing parts.

The comic shows the total weight of mankind and all other land mammals. Only a few centuries ago, humans, their pets and livestock came to make up a great proportion of the earth's land mammal biomass. Note that only land-dwelling mammals are taken into account, so whales and other marine mammals are not included.

The design of the blocks (returning from [[980: Money]]) loosely resembles a cell. This could be a reference to how these animals support humans, analogous to a cell supporting a central nucleus. If so, it seems that all the animals in this diagram, wild or domestic, in some way support human activity.

The title text states that bacteria outweigh us thousands to one, without counting the several pounds of bacteria in our body that are considered part of our own weight. The aforementioned cell could also be a bacterium, making it a possible reference to the title text. Slightly more than a thousand blocks have been used to sketch the "cell", and bacteria outweigh us by this factor.

Randall also discusses animal biomass in [http://whatif.xkcd.com/123/ Fairy Demographics] in which he compares the biomass of "fairies" to humans, horses, and humpback whales.
===Weight===
According to the diagram, there are 358 million tons of humans, 864 million tons of pets and livestock, of which 520 million tons comes from cattle, and 34 million tons of wild animals; for a total of 1.3 billion tons.
The number of blocks represents the weight of the group in millions of tons = billions of kg. Note that some entries have the same number of blocks, and thus have the same rank.

====Humans====
Cattle, in aggregate, are much heavier than the human population.
Humans outweigh both sheep and put together pigs. This is surprising as these animals outweigh the population in the countries that produce the majority of meat from such animals.
====Our pets and livestock====
There are 8 distinct blocks of wild animal (elephants and 7 others). There are 13 distinct blocks of pets and live stock; only the top 5 are labeled - in order of weight they are: Cattle, Sheep, Pigs, Goats and Horses.
Cattle, in aggregate, are much heavier than the human population.
{| class="wikitable sortable" style="width: auto; text-align: center; font-size: 95%; table-layout: fixed; line-height:1.25"
|-
! Total Rank
! Weight  (Millions of tons)
! Name
|-
| {{sort|00001|1}}
| {{sort|00520|520}}
| Cattle
|-
| {{sort|00003|3}}
| {{sort|00135|135}}
| Sheep

|-
| {{sort|00004|4}}
| {{sort|00090|90}}
| Pigs
|-
| {{sort|00005|5}}
| {{sort|00039|39}}
| Goats
|-
| {{sort|00006|6}}
| {{sort|00029|29}}
| Horses
|-
| {{sort|00007|7}}
| {{sort|00013|13}}
| Unlabeled
|-
| {{sort|00009|9}}
| {{sort|00008|8}}
| Unlabeled
|-
| {{sort|00010|10}}
| {{sort|00007|7}}
| Unlabeled
|-
| {{sort|00010|10}}
| {{sort|00007|7}}
| Unlabeled
|-
| {{sort|00013|13}}
| {{sort|00006|6}}
| Unlabeled
|-
| {{sort|00014|14}}
| {{sort|00005|5}}
| Unlabeled
|-
| {{sort|00017|17}}
| {{sort|00003|3}}
| Unlabeled
|-
| {{sort|00019|19}}
| {{sort|00002|2}}
| Unlabeled
|-
|}

====Wild Animals====
The elephant is the only type of wild animal to be singled out in the comic. This may possibly be due to elephants being the largest land mammal. Yes, the world's heaviest land animal only takes up one square.
{| class="wikitable sortable" style="width: auto; text-align: center; font-size: 95%; table-layout: fixed; line-height:1.25"
|-
! Rank
! Weight  (Millions of tons)
! Name
|-
| {{sort|00008|8}}
| {{sort|00010|10}}
| Unlabeled
|-
| {{sort|00010|10}}
| {{sort|00007|7}}
| Unlabeled
|-
| {{sort|00014|14}}
| {{sort|00005|5}}
| Unlabeled
|-
| {{sort|00016|16}}
| {{sort|00004|4}}
| Unlabeled
|-
| {{sort|00017|17}}
| {{sort|00003|3}}
| Unlabeled
|-
| {{sort|00019|19}}
| {{sort|00002|2}}
| Unlabeled
|-
| {{sort|00019|19}}
| {{sort|00002|2}}
| Unlabeled
|-
| {{sort|00022|22}}
| {{sort|00001|1}}
| Elephants
|-
|}

====References====
The comic references the book [http://vaclavsmil.com/the-earths-biosphere-evolution-dynamics-and-change/ The Earth's Biosphere: Evolution, Dynamics, and Change] by {{W|Vaclav Smil}} as the source for most of the data. A few other sources have also been used, but were not referenced.
On page 186 of Smil's book, there is a bar chart with the following values:
{| class="wikitable sortable" style="width: auto; text-align: center; font-size: 95%; table-layout: fixed; line-height:1.25"
|-
! (Millions of tons)
! Name
|-
| {{sort|00008|0.8}}
| Elephants
|-
| {{sort|00400|40}}
| Horses
|-
| {{sort|01000|100}}
| Pigs
|-
| {{sort|04500|450}}
| Cattle
|-
| {{sort|02800|280}}
| People
|-
| {{sort|00800|80}}
| Whales
|-
| {{sort|00300|30}}
| all wild vertebrates
|-
| {{sort|06500|650}}
| all domesticated vertebrates
|-
|}
Note that all labelled non-human animals are in this table. It seems that this table was the source of most of the data in the comic. Only land dwelling mammals are taken into account. Whales, wild vertebrates, and domesticated vertebrates are not included in the comic.

====Unlabeled Animals====
{{Incomplete|Unfinished}}
These are guesses about the identity of the unlabeled animals
{| class="wikitable" style="width: auto; text-align: center; font-size: 95%; table-layout: fixed; line-height:1.25"
|-
! Rank
! Comic weight (Millions of tons)
! Type
! Guess
! Actual Population (Millions)
! Average Weight (kg)
! Total weight (Millions of kg)
! Estimated total weight (Millions of tons)
! Explanation
|-
| rowspan="1" |7
| rowspan="1" |13
| rowspan="1" |Pets/Livestock
|
|
|
|
|
|
|-
| rowspan="1" |8
| rowspan="1" |10
| rowspan="1" |Wild animals
|
|
|
|
|
|
|-
| rowspan="1" |9
| rowspan="1" |8
| rowspan="1" |Pets/Livestock
|
|
|
|
|
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |10
| rowspan="2" |7
| rowspan="2" |Pets/Livestock
| Camel
| 17
| 412
| 7004
| Wikipedia lists the number of camels as 17 million. An average weight, based on Wikipedia's numbers for male and female, is about 500 kg. So, including the non-adult camels, an average around 400 kg seems to be a realistic estimate.
|-
|  
|
|
|
|
|-
| rowspan="1" |10
| rowspan="1" |7
| rowspan="1" |Pets/Livestock
|
|
|
|
|
|
|-
| rowspan="1" |10
| rowspan="1" |7
| rowspan="1" |Wild animals
|
|
|
|
|
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |13
| rowspan="2" |6
| rowspan="2" |Pets/Livestock
| Dogs
| 400
| 15
| 6000
|According to Wikipedia, there are 400 million dogs worldwide. If the average weight is 15 kg, there would be 6 blocks.
|-
|  
|
|
|
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |14
| rowspan="2" |5
| rowspan="2" |Pets/Livestock
| Donkeys
| 41
| 122
| 5002
| There are roughly 41 million {{w|Donkey#Present status|donkeys}} on Earth, with an average weight of about 125 kg.
|-
|  
|
|
|
|
|-
| rowspan="1" |14
| rowspan="1" |5
| rowspan="1" |Wild animals
|
|
|
|
|
|
|-
| rowspan="1" |16
| rowspan="1" |4
| rowspan="1" |Wild animals
|
|
|
|
|
|
|-
| rowspan="1" |17
| rowspan="1" |3
| rowspan="1" |Pets/Livestock
|
|
|
|
|
|
|-
| rowspan="1" |17
| rowspan="1" |3
| rowspan="1" |Wild animals
|
|
|
|
|
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |19
| rowspan="2" |2
| rowspan="2" |Pets/Livestock
| Cats
| 500
| 4
| 2000
| There are 500 million domestic cats worldwide. The average weight of an adult cats is 4.5 kg. Factoring in the lighter weight of immature cats, 4kg as an average for all cats, (adult and immature) is within the range of possibility.
|-
|  
|
|
|
|
|-
| rowspan="1" |19
| rowspan="1" |2
| rowspan="1" |Wild animals
|
|
|
|
|
|
|-
| rowspan="2" |19
| rowspan="2" |2
| rowspan="2" |Wild animals
| {{W|Rat#Species and description|Rat}}
| 4000
| 0.5
| 2000
|The {{W|World Health Organization}} estimates 4 billion rats{{Citation needed}} worldwide. The average weight of an adult rat is under over 500 g.
|-
|  
|
|
|
|
|-
|}

==Transcript==
:'''Earth's LAND MAMMALS by weight'''

:[A block indicating the value of each block:] = 1,000,000 tons

:[Dark gray block:] Humans
:[Light gray block:] Our pets and livestock
:[Green block:] Wild animals

:[The rest of the comic consist of blocks representing the weight of mammals. Some of the blocks are labeled:]
:*Cattle
:*Pigs
:*Goats
:*Sheep
:*Elephants
:*Horses

:Data from Vaclav Smil's ''The Earth's Biosphere: Evolution, Dynamics, and Change'', plus a few other sources.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Charts]]

1545: Strengths and Weaknesses

2015-07-01T16:20:46Z

LuigiBrick: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1545
| date = July 1, 2015
| title = Strengths and Weaknesses
| image = strengths_and_weaknesses.png
| titletext = Do you need me to do a quicksort on the whiteboard or produce a generation of offspring or something? It might take me a bit, but I can do it.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|May need some more detail on the likelihood of becoming the ancestor of all living humans. Explain the title text.}}
Here [[Cueball]] is in a job interview and is being asked prototypical job interview questions by [[Ponytail]], "What is your greatest weakness?", "What is your greatest strength?" and "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

In a roundabout way, Cueball answers that he is a living organism, and and such he has inherent flaws which could cause him to die. This is a reference the fact that biological system are "messy" and are not always optimal in design or operation. For example cancer is a disease where the cellular machinery that governs cell replications breaks down and prolific cell division happens, endangering the organism (tumors). While this is true weakness it is also a weakness of all humans and is not likely to help the interview determine if the candidate is right for the job.

For the second question the character answers that he will one day be the ancestor to all living humans or none of them. As you go farther and farther into the future the ratio of people alive will either go to 0% or 100% of the descendants of the character. The {{w|Most_recent_common_ancestor| most recent common ancestor (MRCA)}} for humans is estimated to have been alive between 2,000 and 4,000 years ago. If the MRCA's ancestors are traced back, the {{w|Identical_ancestors_point|Identical Ancestors Point}} can be found, at which point the entire population are either ancestors all living humans, or no living humans. For humans, this point is estimated to be between 5,000 and 15,000 years ago.

Assuming there will still be humans 15,000 years from now, it is highly unlikely that someone living today will be their ICA, as the gene pool will probably scatter into isolated sets via space travel, preventing that from happening again. While this could be considered his greatest personal strength in the bigger picture of the life cycle of the universe, this answer likely does not help the interviewer determine whether he is suitable for the role.

For Cueball to be the ancestor to all living humans within 5 years means that all the humans who are not his children (or grandchildren), must have died in a near total extinction of the human race. Given that Cueball is not his own ancestor, he too must have died. His apparent optimism about the possibility of this occurring is therefore somewhat confusing.

The overarching joke is that Cueball assumes that the interviewer is assessing his fitness as an organism from a genetic perspective rather than his fitness for performing a particular job. The biggest limitation on fitness is survival time and mortality.

The title text takes this further, equating producing offspring during an interview (which would be awkward for all involved) with something that may actually help assess a candidate's efficacy as an employee, namely writing out a sorting algorithm on the spot (see [[1185: Ineffective Sorts]], especially the bottom left panel).

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail is shown sitting on a swivel chair, to the left of a desk.]
:Ponytail: What would you say is your biggest weakness?

:[The view expands to show Cueball sitting on another swivel chair, on the opposite side of the desk.]
:Cueball: Probably that I'm a giant tangle of parts that don't always work right, so I can die easily.

:Ponytail: Biggest strength?
:Cueball: There will come a day when I'm either an ancestor to ''all'' living humans, or to ''none'' of them.

:Ponytail: Where do you see yourself in five years?
:Cueball: Probably not the ancestor of all living humans yet. But you never know!

{{comic discussion}}

Title text

2015-06-27T13:03:30Z

LuigiBrick: