explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1405: Meteor

2014-08-08T18:44:42Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ wikipedia:Diffuse sky radiation explicitliy says, "The sunlit sky is blue"; commenting out so someone can find a better example.

{{comic
| number = 1405
| date = August 8, 2014
| title = Meteor
| image = meteor.png
| titletext = No, only LAVA is called 'magma' while underground. Any other object underground is called 'lava'.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Needs a clearer explain.}}
[[Cueball]] tells his friend that he found a piece of a {{w|meteor}}. The friend pretends to correct Cueball by telling him that what he found is actually called {{w|magma}}, because that's how one refers to a meteor once it hits the ground. In doing so, the friend confuses two different items which have multiple names depending on their location or status.

A {{w|meteoroid}} travels through space; it becomes termed a {{w|meteor}} when it enters Earth's atmosphere and produces a streak of light, and finally becomes a {{w|meteorite}} once it hits the Earth's surface.

Similarly, {{w|lava}} is simply {{w|magma}} after it has been extruded to the surface of a planet, generally through volcanic eruption.

This is one of [[Randall]]'s comics on the topic of [[:Category:My Hobby|My Hobby]]. The author makes these semantically incorrect statements to [[356: Nerd Sniping|frustrate nerds]] who know the correct word, and confuse people who don't know the precise word so they can go on to frustrate more nerds.

The word {{w|pedant|pedantic}} means being overly concerned with being precise. It is usually a pejorative term used to refer to someone who is overly fussy and corrects someone's word choice even when the more ambiguous or slightly incorrect term they used was fine for informal communication.

The title text expands on the trolling, as if the conversation had continued with an (unseen) response from Cueball. His friend again makes a deliberately muddled statement. Indeed lava is called magma while it is underground, but it's ridiculous to suggest all other things are called lava when underground.

==Transcript==
:Cueball: Check it out -- I got a piece of a meteor!
:Friend: ''Actually'', it's only called that while falling. Once it lands, it's called ''Magma''.

:My Hobby: Mixing pedantic terms

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:My Hobby]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

1346: Career

2014-08-08T18:44:14Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ spl

{{comic
| number = 1346
| date = March 24, 2014
| title = Career
| image = career.png
| titletext = They'd convince me to come out of retirement for one last job: biting into a giant lump of slightly soft wax a couple of times.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is presumably asked to answer the typical {{w|Career_counseling|career counselor}} question: What is your dream job? Rather than going with the more common answers that are designed to increase the chances of landing that particular job, Cueball talks about unrealistic jobs that are whimsical, and so well compensated that a little over one hour on the clock would provide enough wealth for a luxurious retirement; of course, you can have such a job only in your dreams. He makes jobs out of tasks that people do when they are bored, whether the tasks needed to be done or not. Therefore, if he did not get the job he probably would have done them at some point anyway.

Peeling lint off {{w|Clothes_dryer#Tumbler_dryers|dryer traps}} can relieve boredom, but it gets tedious soon, so Cueball wants to do that only for 5 minutes, followed by an hour of holding the handle of a {{w|lightsaber}} against things and switching it on. The energy emitted by this fictional weapon will probably burn, melt or cut the object it is touching as demonstrated in a scene from {{w|Star_Wars_Episode_I:_The_Phantom_Menace|Star Wars Episode I}}, where Jedi {{w|Qui-Gon Jinn}} uses his lightsaber to cut through a wall. In Cueballs mind these are probably high paying jobs, because after this he would like to retire to a life of luxury.

The title text is poking fun at Hollywood films, particularly stories about violent professions (like mobsters, hitmen, detective or spies) where the hero is retired, but some unforeseen circumstance has forced them out of retirement to do "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OneLastJob one last job]." Usually in these films, the jobs are overtly, improbably dangerous, often with the suggestion that they may lose their lives doing it, but the reward for doing the job (saving the world, a tonne of cash, an unresolved debt) is just too great to refuse. However, in this comic the joke is that his "one last job" is also a mildly amusing task designed to relieve boredom.

Biting in slightly soft wax will create a {{w|dental impression}} that can be used to form {{w|dentures}}, which is often associated with old age (and therefore retirement).

==Transcript==
:[Cueball stands facing a desk, behind which another person is sitting in a desk chair.]
:Cueball: It would start with five minutes of peeling lint from dryer traps, followed by an hour of pressing a lightsaber handle against things and switching it on. Then I'd retire to a life of luxury.

:When people ask me to describe my dream job, I'm never sure how realistic to be.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]

1145: Sky Color

2014-07-31T22:19:53Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ expand a little

{{comic
| number = 1145
| date = December 10, 2012
| title = Sky Color
| image = sky_color.png
| titletext = Feynman recounted another good one upperclassmen would use on freshmen physics students: When you look at words in a mirror, how come they're reversed left to right but not top to bottom? What's special about the horizontal axis?
}}

==Explanation==
The point of this comic is that often, curious children ask their parents simple questions about understanding how the world works. Often, although the question is simple, the answer is not. "Why is the sky blue?" is a common example, since most parents are not familiar with {{w|Rayleigh scattering}}, and thus are unable to answer the question.

[[Randall]]'s hobby is to make those questions even harder, in order to stump the (scientist) parents and make them uncomfortable.

Another point of this comic is that we often think that we understand a scientific phenomenon (e.g. why is the sky blue?); however, a certain simple question (e.g. why isn't the sky violet?) can often uncover large gaps in our actual understanding. One interpretation is that this second question is the "tricky" one.

{{W|Rayleigh scattering}} is the phenomenon that explains the color of the sky, where light of every wavelength gets scattered in the air by the inverse quartic (fourth power) of its wavelength as given in the comic. In the {{w|visible spectrum}}, blue light has a wavelength of 450–495 nm while violet has a shorter wavelength of 380–450 nm. Violet light does indeed get scattered more than blue light, however the lower portion of the spectrum for sunlight consists of blue light and eyes are much more sensitive to blue light than violet light. This leaves the impression of a blue sky. A good explanation, including why blue and not violet, can be found in [http://math.ucr.edu/home/baez/physics/General/BlueSky/blue_sky.html Usenet Physics FAQ :: Why is the sky blue?], but note that human color perception [http://blog.asmartbear.com/color-wheels.html is more complicated] than described there.

The title text refers to a {{w|mirror image}}, and is discussed by the famous American theoretical physicist {{w|Richard Feynman}} in a famous BBC documentary [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tuxLY94LXw], as one of the problems which he used to have fun with first years (British English for first year student or freshman).

A mirror image is a virtual image produced by the reflection of light on a mirror. In the mirror image, only front and back are switched around — like a printing press or a rubber stamp. Left and right are still left and right in an absolute reference frame — wave your left arm in front of the mirror and the "mirror person" also waves the arm on the left side. It is only when using "personal" reference frame —tied to the individual— that we can say that the "mirror person" is moving their right arm. The apparent inversion comes from the fact that the mind projects itself onto the person in the mirror.

To help understand why this effect happens, imagine that you are holding a sign which says "MIX" and facing a mirror. Initially, you face the sign towards you. The M is on the left and the X on the right. Now, you turn the sign around so that the sign faces the mirror. Now, even without paying any attention to the mirror, simply because you have turned it around, now the M is on the right and the X is on the left and if you could see through the back of the sign, it would say "XIM" from your perspective. When you look at it in the mirror, you are now able to see that orientation and it appears to read "XIM". If instead of turning the sign around horizontally to look at it in the mirror, you flipped it vertically and looked at it in the mirror, it would appear to say "WIX" in the mirror. Thus the mirror is only revealing how the text is oriented relative to your eyes. Or, to put it more succinctly: mirrors ''don't'' reverse left to right, ''turning around'' does.

==Transcript==
:[Girl and her mother, Megan. Megan is at a desk and facing the girl.]
:Girl: Mommy, why is the sky blue?
:Megan: Rayleigh scattering! Short wavelengths get scattered ''way'' more (proportional to 1/''λ''4). Blue light dominates because it's so short.
:Girl: Oh.
:Girl: So why ''isn't'' the sky violet?
:Megan: Well, because, uh... ...hmm.

:My hobby: Teaching tricky questions to the children of my scientist friends.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:My Hobby]]

690: Semicontrolled Demolition

2014-07-29T10:46:14Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ spl

{{comic
| number = 690
| date = January 18, 2010
| title = Semicontrolled Demolition
| image = semicontrolled demolition.png
| titletext = I believe the truth always lies halfway between the most extreme claims.
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|World Trade Center}} towers were destroyed on September 11, 2001 (9/11 in American date notation). The planned attack was for two planes to collide with the north and south towers simultaneously, but what ended up happening was that [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7g6V8KZE3GA&t=35s plane 1 hit the north tower at 8:46 am], and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KYE4zViAAg&t=11m44s the second plane hit the south tower a little less than 20 minutes later]. In the ensuing investigation many people raised questions that didn't seem to get a satisfactory answer for several months, if not years. Many people, who called themselves {{w|9/11 Truthers}}, began to claim that the whole thing was a government conspiracy, in what has come to be known as the "controlled demolition plot" (referenced by the title of this comic), which alleges that the towers were brought down not by the fires caused by the planes but by demolition charges intentionally placed there by the government.

[[Randall]] proposes a compromise to make both those who believe in the conspiracy and those who don't happy. Since there is only a government related video of a plane flying into the north tower — done by a man who was with {{w|FDNY}} fire fighters — that was a government conspiracy. But it just so happened that the government decided to demolish the north tower on the same day that terrorists decided to demolish the south tower.

The title text is a restatement of the {{w|Argument_to_moderation|Golden Mean fallacy}}: that the truth can be found in a compromise between two opposite positions. In this comic, one of the positions is a fanciful conspiracy theory and the other is a sober fact-based conclusion. The error of this fallacy is apparent here, as it can lead to even more ridiculous conclusions. In this case, the compromise theory would make no one happy because both sides would have to concede claims which they have already dismissed as bogus, as well as accept an incredibly unlikely coincidence.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is holding up a pointer to a screen with an image of the World Trade Center towers mid-disaster.]
:Cueball: Based on my analysis, I believe the government faked the plane crash and demolished the WTC north tower with explosives.
:Cueball: The south tower, in a simultaneous but unrelated plot, was brought down by actual terrorists.

:The 9/11 truthers responded poorly to my compromise theory.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Public speaking]]
[[Category:Compromise]]
[[Category:Conspiracy theory]]

1398: Snake Facts

2014-07-26T05:11:22Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ unlikely, and nothing to support this

{{comic
| number = 1398
| date = July 23, 2014
| title = Snake Facts
| image = snake facts.png
| titletext = Biologically speaking, what we call a 'snake' is actually a human digestive tract which has escaped from its host.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Length records are in dispute, document and cleanup explanation}}

The comic lists a few '{{w|factoid}}s' about snakes, ranging from the mildly informative to the strictly tongue-in-cheek. The first factoid references the hypothesis that {{w|snake venom}} was an evolutionary development of {{w|saliva}} that, over time, gradually became more toxic as snakes with saliva that was able to assist in subduing their prey possessed an evolutionary advantage. It then posits that the evolutionary branch that developed into venomous snakes began with a snake whose mutation gave him a mouth that was 'slightly more gross than usual'.

The second factoid references the 'longest snake in the world', citing a South American habitat. Given the habitat listed, it is possible the comic is referring to the Green Anaconda ''({{w|Eunectes murinus}})''. But the Green Anaconda, while an impressive creature and one of the longest snakes in the world (Wikipedia says, "reaching more than 6.6 m (22 ft) long") and [[http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/size/longest-snake-ever-(captivity) Guiness World of records]] documents one which is 7.67m ((25 ft 2 in), is generally{{Template:Citation_needed}} not as long as the Reticulated Python ''({{w|Python reticulatus}})'' of Southeast Asia (Wikipedia says they "grow to 6.95 m (22.8 ft)"). The latter is generally{{Template:Citation_needed}} recognized as the world's longest snake, though not its largest by mass. Wikipedia lists numerous reports and measurements of much longer specimens of Anaconda, including the statement, "While in Colombia in 1978, herpetologist William W. Lamar had an encounter with a large female specimen which measured 7.5 m (25 ft) and was estimated to weigh between 136 and 180 kg (300 and 397 lb)." The article indicates that reports of very large specimens cannot be considered as fully scientifically verified, and part of the humor of these "Snake Facts" is that they fall outside of scientific verification. The factoid then states that the world's longest snake is 'believed to be over 60 years old'. As Anacondas generally do not live beyond 20 years in captivity, and likely less in the wild, the factoid appears to be in error on this count also. On the other hand, Anacondas are reported to continue growing throughout their lives, so a 60 year old female specimen would likely be the longest snake in the world (females are longer). Since there are so many exaggerated reports about Anacondas, this may be part of the joke. Its wording seems intended to imply that the snake in question is not a ''species'', but rather a ''single specimen''. This information may be a parody of factoids, since one would expect to learn about the length of "the world's longest snake", not its age.

Additionally, the comic illustration accompanying the second factoid colors in a '{{w|habitat}} range' on a map of South America that is snake-shaped, possibly implying that when it states 'The longest snake is found in {{w|Brazil}}, {{w|Peru}}, and {{w|Chile}}' that this snake is so long that it literally stretches from Brazil, across part of Peru, into Chile, and that the 'habitat' shaded on the map is, in fact, this mammoth snake's {{w|silhouette}}. The Green Anaconda's habitat range includes Colombia, Venezuela, the Guianas, Ecuador, Bolivia, Brazil, Peru, the island of Trinidad, and Paraguay.

The final factoid is entirely tongue-in-cheek, beginning with a typical factoid trope in which a collection of related items are laid end-to-end, then the length is compared to something else in a way intended to surprise the reader that the collection of items is indeed so extensive ([[725: Literally|literally]] and [[1108: Cautionary Ghost|figuratively]]). For example, "If you laid all the veins and arteries in the human body end-to-end, they would stretch 60,000 miles". The third factoid takes the form of that trope and turns it into a joke, "If you laid all the bones in a snake end to end, you would have a snake." The resulting length would not be a surprise to anyone, as snake's bodies are long and narrow and thus their bones are roughly arranged 'end to end' already (at least compared to most other creatures). Obviously, you would not have an entire snake, literally, but you would have a skeleton that was recognizably that of a snake and could reasonably be referred to as 'a snake', albeit a skeletal one.

The title text presents the amusing idea that 'snakes' as we know them are not, in fact, a suborder of reptiles but are instead human {{w|digestive tract}}s that, rather than being a system of organs, are creatures capable of escaping from their 'host' human and living independently. The idea seems to follow from the superficial resemblance between snakes and the human digestive tract as long, roughly tubular collections of animal matter, which can process the food entering the top end, and getting rid of the waste in the other end. Actually the human digestive tract is essentially a hole that runs through the body, closed off most of the time only by {{w|sphincter}}s, and digestion thus can be said to take place outside the body. Nutrients are absorbed across membranes via osmosis, active transport, and diffusion.

==Correction==
*Randall had previously posted an incorrect map, that included the snake's habitat in {{w|Bolivia}} instead of Peru. [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/File:snake_facts_old.png]

==Transcript==
:'''Snake Facts:'''
:Snake venom evolved from saliva, which means it all started with a snake whose mouth was slightly more gross than usual.
:[Picture of a snake below the text above]
:Snake: Hi guys!
:Off-panel voice: Eww, it's Frank.
:[Map of South America with gray shade in the form of a snake. Text to the left of it]
:The world's longest snake is found in Brazil, Peru and Chile. It is believed to be over 60 years old.
:[Picture of a snake skeleton between the first and the second of the lines below]
:If you laid all the bones in a snake end-to-end,
:you would have a snake

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Animals]]

1393: Timeghost

2014-07-12T08:08:42Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ it's pretty clear the factoids themselves are not intended to be considered spurious (except maybe the death prediction) tweak line about predicting future, minor cleanup

{{comic
| number = 1393
| date = July 11, 2014
| title = Timeghost
| image = timeghost.png
| titletext = 'Hello, Ghostbusters?' 'ooOOoooo people born years after that movie came out are having a second chiiiild right now ooOoooOoo'
}}

==Explanation==
[[Megan]] has been haunted by a ''Timeghost'' for some time. It is obviously not the first time the ghost arrives to let Megan know that "...ooOOOOOOOOooo... Tiiiime is passiiiing!" The ghost is dedicated to making people feel old by having them think about the passage of time. It it shown to reference time periods related to well-known people and events, such as famous actors and the release of movies and TV shows. Megan is just annoyed that it is back and wishes it to go away.

But then when [[Cueball]] ask "How long has it been doing this?" the ghost suddenly predicts that Megan and Cueball will die in a shorter amount of time than the time that has past since the ghost's began its hauntings. This disturbs Megan who stops her complaining and asks "'''What!?'''" This is not the first time she has been haunted by the ghost but it has probably not been that long, so this is a very scary thought to her (and Cueball).

We do, however, not know how long they have left. Also the "staaaaart of my haunting" may refer to the first time the ghost haunted anyone, not just Megan. This could be a looong time ago and thus be true for anyone it meets. It is also possible Timeghost is being deliberately ambiguous in an effort to frighten them even more. This is of course only scary if you believe the ghost can predict the future, which is not what it has been doing so far (there is no example in the comic where it makes a prediction that we know is accurate)

But one thing about the prediction is true - they will eventually '''die'''. And this is the scary part about realizing how old you are and that you are getting older: You will die soon.

The comic seems to be using "factoid" to mean a small fact. "{{w|Factoid}}" can also mean a "questionable or spurious statement presented as a fact", but this does not seem to be intended usage here. In this instance, some of the factoids are easily verifiable, while others are reasonable assumptions based on the number of years passed since the individual events. Several sources advocate the use of the word "factlet" to express a brief interesting fact, while using the word "factoid" for unverifiable or untrue statements passed as fact.

While ''factoids'' tend only to have mostly only entertainment value, the last ''fact'' from the ghost is a prediction of the future (Megan and Cueball's death) which is actually of some practical value if it can be trusted.

"Timeghost" might be a literal interpretation of {{w|Zeitgeist}}, which is a German term for "spirit of time" and refers to the school of thought that influences or dominates the art and culture of a time period. All the events and people mentioned in this comic may be considered influences on present day art and culture.

In the title text Megan calls {{w|Ghostbusters}} (from the 1984 movie) to help get rid of the Timeghost. This of course makes the ghost state that "people born years after that movie came out are having a second chiiiild right now" making her feel old once more.

[[Randall]] has covered making people feel old several times in [[647: Scary]], [[891: Movie Ages]] and [[973: MTV Generation]]. Also see the blag post [http://blog.xkcd.com/2012/09/29/odd-temporal-milestones/ Odd Temporal Milestones].

A similar ghost with a much different agenda was seen in [[1108: Cautionary Ghost]].

'''Timeline'''
{| class="wikitable"
!Year||Event
|-
|1955-1975||{{w|Vietnam War}}
|-
|colspan="2"|19 years
|-
|1994||{{w|Forrest Gump (film)|Forrest Gump}}
|-
|colspan="2"|20 years
|-
|2014||Year of this comic
|-
|colspan="2"|
|-
|1964||{{w|Keanu Reeves}} (Actor) born
|-
|colspan="2"|2 years
|-
|1966||Today's new grandparents born (Average age: 48 in the US)
|-
|colspan="2"|48 years
|-
|2014||Year of this comic
|-
|colspan="2"|
|-
|1990||[http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr051.pdf Today's new parents born] (Average age: 24 in the US)
|-
|colspan="2"|3 years
|-
|1993-1994||{{w|The Simpsons}} Season 5
|-
|colspan="2"|2 years (from '93 to '95)
|-
|1994-1995||{{w|The Simpsons}} Season 6
|-
|colspan="2"|4 years
|-
|1999||{{w|Eminem}} (Rapper) got big (second album)
|-
|colspan="2"|15 years
|-
|2014||Year of this comic
|-
|colspan="2"|
|-
|1984||{{w|Ghostbusters}}
|-
|colspan="2"|3 years
|-
|1987||[http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr051.pdf Today's people just having a second child born] (Average age at first childbirth (24) + average gap between first two births (3))
|-
|colspan="2"|27 years
|-
|2014||Year of this comic
|}

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are approached by a floating ghost]
:Timeghost: ''...ooOOOOOOOOooo... Tiiiime is passiiiing!''
:Megan: Ugh. Timeghost.
:Cueball: Huh?
:Megan: Here come the factoids.

:[Timeghost floats around]
:Timeghost: ''Forrest Gump'' came out closer to the Vietnam War than to the present daaay.
:Megan: Go ''away!''
:Timeghost: The average new grand-parents are younger than Keanu Reeeeves!
:Cueball: That can't be right...

:[Megan clutches her head, possibly attempting to cover her ears]
:Timeghost: ''Today's new parents were ten when Eminem got big. Daaaaaad muuuuusic. They remember Simpsons season 5 or 6 at the '''earliest'''''.
:Megan: Argh!
:Cueball: How long has it been ''doing'' this?

:[Megan and Cueball looks up at the Timeghost as it delivers its most scary message]
:Timeghost: ''The staaaaart of my haunting is now further away than your deaaaths!''
:Megan: Will you sto- -'''''WHAT!?'''''
:Timeghost: ''ooOOOOOOOoo''
{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

1392: Dominant Players

2014-07-11T07:03:26Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ quote text from comics, minor fm

{{comic
| number = 1392
| date = July 9, 2014
| title = Dominant Players
| image = dominant_players.png
| titletext = When Vera Menchik entered a 1929 tournament, a male competitor mocked her by suggesting that a special 'Vera Menchik Club' would be created for any player who lost to her. When the tournament began, he promptly became the first member of said club, and over the years it accumulated a large and illustrious roster.
}}

A [http://xkcd.com/1392/large larger version] of this image can be found by clicking the image at xkcd - which can be reached easily from here as always, by clicking on the comic number above.

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Why are some of the players paths red and some gray? Why compare basketball to chess?}}
The comic shows the rise and fall of players' strengths in two games, {{w|basketball}} and {{w|chess}}. For chess, there is an overall chart, and a women's chart.

For basketball, it uses a {{w|Player_efficiency_rating|player efficiency rating}}.

For chess, it uses the {{w|Elo rating}}. It explains that since Elo is relatively new (it was adopted by the World Chess Federation, FIDE, in 1970), the rating is extrapolated backwards in time and are thus shown as dashed lines before it was generally adopted. 
Interestingly it can be {{w|Elo_rating#Elo_ratings_beyond_chess|read on the Elo wiki page}} that {{w|Sports Reference|Sports-reference.com}} uses the Elo rating system to rate the best professional players in '''basketball''', football, baseball and hockey .

*There are several references at given times of a career path. These can either be noted with:
**A node on the path. An arrow will point to the note and state a fact.
**Dashed path (not including chess player paths from before 1970 where they were all dashed as explained above). An arrow will point to the dashed part and state a fact. (Only for basketball)
**The {{w|Starburst (symbol)|starbursts}} at the end (or beginning) of a path. A fact will be stated next to the node. These are references to a player disappearing (or reappearing) in unusual circumstances. (only for either Chess panel)
*Some of these are intended to provide context (such as "Loses to Deep Blue"), while others are tangents or jokes.
*These references are listed below in order of appearance. If it is a dashed line or a starburst it will be mentioned:

'''Basketball'''
* {{W|Wilt Chamberlain}} - "Becomes the first and so far only player to score {{w|Wilt Chamberlain's 100-point game|100 points in a game}}". (In 1962)
* {{w|Jerry West}} - "The Guy in [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:NBALogo.svg The NBA logo]" from 1969. (Read 5th paragraph in this {{w|National_Basketball_Association#Celtics.27_dominance.2C_league_expansion.2C_and_competition|wiki section}})
* {{w|Kareem Abdul-Jabbar}} - "{{w|Airplane (film)|Airplane}}". (A comedy film from 1980 where he played the co-pilot Roger Murdock)
* {{w|Magic Johnson}} - "{{w|Magic_Johnson#HIV_announcement_and_Olympics_.281991.E2.80.9392.29|HIV announcement}}". This part of his path is dashed. (The line is dashed from 1991 to 1995 - where the fear of Aids forced him to retire)
** He {{w|Magic_Johnson#Return_to_the_Lakers_as_coach_and_player_.281994.2C_1996.29|returned to play once more}} in the season from 1995-1996
* {{w|Michael Jordan}} - "{{w|Michael_Jordan#First_retirement_and_baseball_career_.281993.E2.80.931994.29|Baseball career}}". This part of his path is dashed. (from 1993-1994 he played Baseball - i.e. his first retirement)
* Michael Jordan - "{{w|Space Jam}}". (An animated comedy film from 1996 starring {{w|Bugs Bunny}} and Jordan - who was the only live character during most of the movie)
* Michael Jordan - "{{w|Michael_Jordan#Second_retirement_.281999.E2.80.932001.29|Second retirement}}". This part of his path is dashed. (He retired again from 1999–2001)
** He then {{w|Michael_Jordan#Washington_Wizards_comeback_.282001.E2.80.932003.29|came back}} to play two more years from 2001-2003...
* {{w|LeBron James}} - "{{w|The Decision (TV special)|The Decision}}" (a television special from 2010 about a heavily hyped decision as to which team he would play for the next season)

'''Chess'''
* {{w|José Raúl Capablanca|José Capablanca}} - "Terrifying chess God". An arrow points to the left of the panel with his name and the note beneath it. (Considered one of the greatest chess players of all time. As he died in 1942 this lies just outside of the chart. Anyway he had his best years all the way back in 1921-1927 where he became world chess champion seven years in a row)
* {{w|Alexander Alekhine}} - This is the first starburst. There is no text except his name. (He {{w|Alexander_Alekhine#His_final_year|died in 1946}} in Portugal)
* {{w|Bobby Fischer}} - "Vanished..." The second Starburst. (He did not actually vanish, but he did {{w|Bobby_Fischer#Sudden_obscurity|stop playing competitively}} for about 20 years starting in 1972. This is probably a reference to the 1993 film {{w|Searching for Bobby Fischer}}, which is not actually about Fischer, but about a player who partly models his career on Fischer's. The name ''Searching for Bobby Fischer'' may lead people to believe Fischer literally vanished, but that is not the case)
* Bobby Fischer - "...Reappeared then vanished again. He had problems." This is written below a double starburst with a short line between. (This is another reference to Fischer - there is no name or clear correlation, except the text that relates to the first reference. He {{w|Bobby_Fischer#1992_Spassky_rematch|resumed playing competitively}} in 1992 for a match. ''{{w|Bobby_Fischer#Life_as_an_.C3.A9migr.C3.A9|He had problems}}'' is a simplistic description of issues and controversies in Fischer's later life, including an arrest warrant (because he violated a U.S. embargo against Yugoslavia), unpaid taxes, controversy about his statements (including {{w|Antisemitism|anti-semitism}}), and mental problems. The U.S. eventually revoked his passport, and he was jailed for eight months in Japan. He then received Icelandic citizenship, and lived out the rest of his life there.)
* {{w|Garry Kasparov}} - "Loses to {{w|Deep Blue (chess computer)|Deep Blue}}". (In 1997 Deep Blue became the first computer to {{w|Deep_Blue_versus_Garry_Kasparov#1997_rematch|beat the current chess world champion}})
* {{w|Judit Polgar}} - "(see below)". The text in the brackets is written beneath her name. (She is the strongest woman chess player ever and can be seen rising from the gender-defined ranks of women's chess (below). She is the only women shown on this part of the chart. Below in the womans chart, there are several notes - see below... :)

'''Chess (women)'''
* {{w|Vera Menchik}} - "Died in a missile attack on London". This is the Last starburst. (She was killed by an early guided missile - a {{w|V-1 flying bomb}} - launched by the Germans in {{w|World War II}}. For some reason her path does not seems to be dashed, as it should have been before 1970.)
* {{w|Sonja Graf}} - "Rating particularly uncertain". This is written above her name, with an arrow pointing there. As a matter of fact, she was clearly the second best woman and her path should be parallel to Menchik's from 1930's. (The path is already dashed indicating that it is a rough estimate, but there were probably very few data for woman chess players before 1960 explaining the note)
* {{w|Kira Zvorykina}} - "Kira Zvorykina (born 1919) continued playing in tournaments into the 21st century". (Zvorykina was never very high on the list, but can be seen twice centered on 1960 and 1980. She played her [http://ratings.fide.com/individual_calculations.phtml?idnumber=13500392&rating_period=2008-01-01&t=0 last game] rated by the {{w|World Chess Federation}} in October 2007 aged 88. She was still alive when this comic was released and will turn 95 if she lives until September this year 2014)
* Judit Polgar, {{w|Susan Polgar}} and {{w|Sofia Polgar}} - "Sisters". (These three chess playing sisters are linked by a thin dashed line, snaking between their names on the chart. Judit is the youngest, Susan the oldest. Judit has now overtaken her sisters, Sofia never reaching the other two sisters level.)
* Judit Polgar - "{{w|Judit_Polgar#Making_history|Wins a game against Kasparov}}, making her the first woman to beat the world #1". (It took some attempts and some {{w|Judit_Polgar#Kasparov_touch-move_controversy|controversy}} before she managed to beat Kasparov in 2002, in a tournament that was played under rapid rules with 25 minutes per game and a 10 second bonus per move.)
* Judit Polgar - "Becomes first woman to rank in the overall top 10". (She is so far the only woman to break into the top 10 in the {{w|FIDE World Rankings}}. She ranked as high as {{w|Judit_Polgar#Combining_family_and_chess|eighth in the world}} in 2005)

In general not all possible players are included in these charts. For instance it is mentioned that Judit Polgar was the first woman ranked in the over all top 10. But only six players are shown on the over all chart around 2005, where she was ranked 8th. This is a general trend for all three charts. So this is [[Randall|Randall's]] subjective list of players that he has deemed to be ''Dominant Players'' and not a full list of the best ranked players during the time period.

Another example of the above for Basketball would be the 2008–2009 season which was unique in that it was the only season in which more than one player posted an efficiency ratings of over 30.0 on the Player efficiency rating (see at the bottom of {{w|Player_efficiency_rating#Reference_guide|this section}} on Wikipedia). In that season three players broke this barrier: LeBron James (31.76), {{w|Dwyane Wade}} (30.46), and {{w|Chris Paul}} (30.04). LeBron is shown to top that season, But Dwayne is far below (thus the scale does not fit?) and Chris is not on the list (i.e. he was not deemed to be a dominant players according to Randall).

It is thus on Randall's whim that some NBA players have been left out of the chart in favor of players with lower career and yearly efficiency ratings. Example: {{w|Tim Duncan}}, {{w|Charles Barkley}}, {{w|Oscar Robertson}}, {{w|Kobe Bryant}}, and Chris Paul could all have been included.

A similar reason would explain why former World Champion Chess Grandmaster {{w|Viswanathan Anand}} has not been included in the Chess Chart. Anand is one of six players in history to break the 2800 mark on the FIDE rating list. He occupied the number one position in several rating lists between 2007 and 2011. It is possible that Randall is a huge fan of {{w|Magnus Carlsen}} and biased against Anand as evinced by the comic [[1287: Puzzle]] (Chess in a 'Go' board - there are no alternate colored squares as required by chess), though the interpretation of the comic and its comment appear to be a double-edged matter of debate.

Chess players {{w|Vladimir Kramnik}} and {{w|Levon Aronian}}, who have faced each other on multiple occasions in the 2010s, are shown as having their career paths entwined. It is a general trend observed every time two players paths cross each other more than once (the one on top the first time, will be below the second time and so forth. It is just more clear with these two than anywhere else).

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}
'''Dominant Players over Time'''

[Chart 1]
*Basketball (NBA/ABA)
:Player Efficiency Rating

[Chart 2]
*Chess
:Elo Rating

[Chart 3]
*Chess (Women)
:Elo Rating

==Trivia==
* The [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/archive/4/45/20140710201235!dominant_players.png original comic] said about Kira Zvorykina "Continued playing in tournaments into the 20th century". The 20th century is the 1900's in which Zvorkina was born (on September 29, 1919 according to Wikipedia). Randall has corrected the notation to say "into the 21st century."
* The names of three NBA players have been misspelled: {{w|Neil Johnston}} (misspelled as "Neal"), Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (missing hyphen), and {{w|Julius Erving}} (misspelled "Irving".)

[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Charts]]

{{comic discussion}}

1393: Timeghost

2014-07-11T06:31:56Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ add alternative explanation, links, correct Keanu's birth year (per Wikipedia and http://www.keanu.org/biography.html)

{{comic
| number = 1393
| date = July 11, 2014
| title = Timeghost
| image = timeghost.png
| titletext = 'Hello, Ghostbusters?' 'ooOOoooo people born years after that movie came out are having a second chiiiild right now ooOoooOoo'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page.}}
Megan and Cueball are being haunted by a ghost dedicated to making people feel old. It seems to be a strip like 973: Movie Generations, but then the ghost reveals that Megan and Cueball will die in a shorter amount of time than the ghost's first fact: in a few seconds. For obvious reasons, this disturbs them. An alternative explanation is that the "staaaaart of my haunting" refers to the first time the ghost haunted anyone, and it is possible Timeghost is being deliberately ambiguous in an effort to frighten them more.

'''Timeline'''
*{{w|Vietnam War}} (1955-1975)
*{{w|Keanu Reeves}} (Actor, born 1964)
*{{w|Eminem}} (Rapper, born 1972. Debut album in 1996.)
*{{w|Ghostbusters}} (Movie, 1984)
*Forrest Gump ({{w|Forrest Gump (novel)|Book}}, 1986; {{w|Forrest Gump (film)|Movie}}, 1994)
*{{w|The Simpsons}} (Series 1989, part of The Tracey Ullman Show 1987. Season 5 was in 1993)

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}

{{comic discussion}}

1392: Dominant Players

2014-07-09T07:04:14Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ expand

1392: Dominant Players

2014-07-09T06:56:12Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ add some appear/disappear

1392: Dominant Players

2014-07-09T06:46:36Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ expand

1392: Dominant Players

2014-07-09T06:42:19Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ start

1390: Research Ethics

2014-07-05T05:50:30Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ pretty unlikely this (removed) grammatical error has any significance

{{comic
| number = 1390
| date = July 4, 2014
| title = Research Ethics
| image = research_ethics.png
| titletext = I mean, it's not like we could just demand to see the code that's governing our lives. What right do we have to poke around in Facebook's private affairs like that?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|First draft. The image must be updated.}}

This comic references the recent revelation that Facebook engaged in a "psychological experiment" by selectively showing users more "positive" or "negative" posts on their news feed and recording the users' comments to see if the change affected the positivity or negativity of their posts. Further experiments have since been revealed [http://online.wsj.com/articles/facebook-experiments-had-few-limits-1404344378 such as one that tested security measures by locking users out of their accounts]. Here, Megan is commenting on the fact that, while the media is calling this control over what content the user sees "unethical," Facebook, and other companies like Google, must, one way or another, control what content the user sees, whether to present users with a limited selection of all postings, or to tailor ads to particular users; even if the regular algorithms are not set up for psychological experiments, they are still "manipulating" what posts users see or don't see. As Megan points out, no one really knows what the "normal" constraints are of the algorithm which chooses which posts are shown on news feeds. This comic is parodying the strong reaction to what is basically already a common practice.

Accumulation, control and analysis of user-generated information can be a part of the terms of service/end user license agreement of a Website or software. In such a scenario, the user has effectively signed his/her consent to being part of such research. Unfortunately, most users don't read the terms before clicking the "I agree" option, so it can come as a shock when the service uses the data in a way the user hadn't anticipated.

The title text ironically/sarcastically accepts that Facebook has access to all of its users thoughts (through posts/messages and photos), and they can read them for research (or whatever other) purposes, but contrasts this with a suggestion (which likely mirrors how Facebook would respond to such a request) that Facebook's code is private and can not be revealed to us. The title text basically appears to be musing that this is backwards, and our personal data should be considered MORE private than Facebook's programming code, which may be proprietary, but is not personal private data.

It is as if your neighbor was spying on you while you left all your shades open, but you felt it to be inappropriate to find out what he knew about you because that's his business.

==Transcript==

:[Megan is facing Cueball and Ponytail]
:Megan: Facebook shouldn't choose what stuff they show us to conduct unethical psychological research.
:Megan: They should ''only'' make those decisions based on, uh...
:Megan: However they were doing it before.
:Megan: Which was probably ethical, right?

{{comic discussion}}

1389: Surface Area

2014-07-02T06:43:50Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ fm link, put Space Needle in visible text

{{comic
| number = 1389
| date = July 2, 2014
| title = Surface Area
| image = surface_area.png
| titletext = This isn't an informational illustration; this is a thing I think we should do. First, we'll need a gigantic spool of thread. Next, we'll need some kind of ... hmm, time to head to Seattle.
}}

A larger version of this image can be found [http://xkcd.com/1389/large/ here].

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Very early draft.}}
This image shows the total surface areas of all {{w|Terrestrial_planet|terrestrial planets}}, {{w|Natural_satellite|moons}}, {{w|Asteroid|asteroids}} {{w|Minor_Planet|etc.}} in the {{w|Solar_System|solar system}}, represented as regions of a single massive landmass (in a similar style to the various [[256: Online Communities|maps]] of the [[802: Online Communities 2|internet]] Randall has created in the past), with a [[977|Waterman Butterfly]] based map of Earth in the center for scale. Relatively small objects like asteroids, comets and so on are grouped into two regions at the northeast and southwest corners, while tiny objects like space dust are excluded altogether (probably because their total surface area is impossible to accurately estimate, and also because any estimate would likely be too large to easily fit into the map).

The {{w|Gas_giant|gas giants}} Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune are not included, because they don't have a solid surface. If they were included, this part of the map would be a tiny speck compared to the surface area of the gas giants.

The title text implies that Randall is actually proposing that someone should take all of the matter in the Solar system and stitch it together, by means of a gigantic spool of thread and a {{w|Space Needle|very large needle}} (the Space Needle).

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}

{{comic discussion}}

1082: Geology

2014-07-02T06:37:43Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ add links

{{comic
| number = 1082
| date = July 16, 2012
| title = Geology
| image = geology.png
| titletext = That's a gneiss butte.
}}

==Explanation==
Here we have [[Cueball]] and [[Megan]] discussing geology and the words they use are ripe with puns and {{w|double entendre}}s which also have sexual meanings. In the end they just decide to get it on.

Specifically, the suggestive terms are "{{w|Bed (geology)|bedding}}," "{{w|Seafloor spreading|spreading}}," "friction," "{{w|Cleavage (geology)|cleavage}}," "deeper in the {{w|rift}}," "{{w|orogeny}}," (perhaps a pun on {{w|orgy}} and {{w|erogenous}}), "huge," and "{{w|Thrust fault|thrust}}."

In the title text, {{w|gneiss}} (pronounced "nice") is a type of rock, and {{w|Butte (geology)|butte}} (rhymes with "cute") is a conspicuous isolated hill with steep, often vertical sides and a small, relatively flat top. "Gneiss butte" is a play on "nice butt".

==Transcript==
:[Two people are doing a geological survey.]
:Megan: Forget the bedding - we were wrong about the whole valley.
:Cueball: The spreading is recent.

:Megan: See the friction breccia?
:Cueball: Oh - flow cleavage!
:Cueball: Deeper in the rift.
:Megan: Deeper.
:[An idea pops into Megan's head.]

:[The same idea pops into Cueball's head.]
:Megan: This orogeny
:Cueball: is driven by a
:Megan: ''huge''
:Cueball: ''thrust'' fault

:[They both drop to the ground in a fit of passion.]
:Geology: Surprisingly erotic.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Sex]]

1387: Clumsy Foreshadowing

2014-06-29T19:10:19Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ it's a TV news story, not an article

{{comic
| number = 1387
| date = June 27, 2014
| title = Clumsy Foreshadowing
| image = clumsy_foreshadowing.png
| titletext = '... hosts were unexpectedly fired from ABC's 'The View' today. ABC will likely announce new ...'
}}

==Explanation==
Many action/thriller movies, during the first few minutes, have a background [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ChekhovsNews news] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CoincidentalBroadcast report] that foreshadows the onset of some kind of danger, such as shark attacks, nuclear warfare etc.

[[Randall]] suggests taking the same approach to random news stories from real life, in order to make them more ominous.

In this case we see three random headings from news stories. Which could all be made even more interesting if the setting is correct. The middle one is about ''[http://dailydigestnews.com/2014/06/north-atlantic-ocean-great-white-shark-population-booms/ Shark populations booming off east coast]''. The news in the link is from a week before this comic was released, and is about the preservation of the {{w|Great white shark|Great white sharks}}. Not that terrifying, especially since sharks are way less dangerous than people tend to fear, in part due to movies like {{w|Jaws (film)|Jaws}}.

However, if you put this headline into a news report running in the background, as when [[Cueball]] leaves the house with a bathing towel in the main frame of the comic, then it suddenly become a very ominous story, that will not bode well for Cueball and his friends...

The first of the three stories mentioned above the frame ''[http://www.northkoreannews.net/index.php/sid/223255811/scat/08aysdf7tga9s7f7/ht/Angry-North-Korea-threatens-war-if-US-shows-film-mocking-its-leader North Korea threatens U.S. over upcoming movie]'' comes from {{w|North Korea|North Korea's}} official {{w|Korean Central News Agency}} who a few days before this comic was released threatened the US with war over the {{w|Seth Rogen}} movie {{w|The Interview (2014 film)|The Interview}}, promising "stern" and "merciless" retaliation if the film is released. The threat has generated some hype for the yet unreleased movie. No one, however, really takes North Korea's threat seriously... But if you put this into such a news report at the beginning of a film, this could be a film - about a film leading to a new war with North Korea.

The last of the three stories is about ''[http://www.orbcomm.com/networks/og2-launch SpaceX to attempt new rocket launch today]''. {{w|SpaceX}} is a space transport services company and on March 13 2014 they reported a launch date for their first {{w|Orbcomm_satellites#Orbcomm-OG2|OG2}} mission containing 6 satellites on a dedicated {{w|Falcon 9}} rocket. This date was April 30, 2014 as can be read at the bottom of the news link, which is the news list for this OG2 mission. The launch continued to be postponed several times, and the last date given before this comic was released was June the 24th, three days before this comic was released. This launch was canceled on the 23rd and the day before this comic was released it was yet again postponed, this time until July the 14th (almost three weeks, after the previous four proposed launch dates had been the 20th, 21st, 22nd and 24th of June). So at this point in time, any news regarding SpaceX attempting to launch a rocket, will not generate much fuss, as they are most likely postponing again... But if you put the news bite into the start of a movie, then the launch would probably stay on schedule - but would then go horribly wrong, setting the action packed story in progress.

The title text news ''[http://nypost.com/2014/06/26/sherri-shepherd-jenny-mccarthy-leave-the-view/ hosts were unexpectedly fired from ABC's 'The View' today]'' references {{w|American Broadcasting Company|ABC's}} ''{{w|The View (U.S. TV series)|The View}}'' where two of the co-hosts, {{w|Sherri Shepherd}} and {{w|Jenny McCarthy}}, were simultaneously reporting leaving the program (fired or resigned? -- sources vary), the day before this cartoon appeared. Sherri after seven years, Jenny after less than one year as co-host. According to the news link above there were "no word on who will be replacing the hosts, but the network says they will have a team together when the show launches its new season this fall." Again a not very interesting news story. The title text though continues the news by saying: ''ABC will likely announce new ...'' The humorous suggestion is that the movie, you could imagine here, will go on to feature the protagonist starring on The View, a comical premise for an action/thriller movie.

==Transcript==
:[Heading and text above the comics only panel:]
:'''Today's News'''
:North Korea threatens U.S. over upcoming movie
:Shark populations booming off east coast
:SpaceX to attempt new rocket launch today
:[Arrow pointing down towards the comics only panel]

:[Cueball, holding a towel, walks past a TV with a news report shown on-screen.]
:Cueball: Bye! See you tonight!
:Offscreen person: Have a good day!
:TV: ''Researchers are reporting record numbers of sharks...''

:[Text below the panel:]
:To make news stories seem way more ominous, imagine you're hearing them from a background TV in a movie as the main character leaves.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Sharks]]

1386: People are Stupid

2014-06-25T08:21:02Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ add spc

{{comic
| number = 1386
| date = June 25, 2014
| title = People are Stupid
| image = people_are_stupid.png
| titletext = To everyone who responds to everything by saying they've 'lost their faith in humanity': Thanks--I'll let humanity know. I'm sure they'll be crushed.
}}

==Explanation==
It is a common thing for people on the internet (on forums and comments sections of various websites) to make vague generalizations about the "stupidity of all people" or "losing faith in {{W|human|humanity}}," for instance when the topic is actually the stupidity or irrational/extreme behavior of one individual or group of individuals. Also the comment can come in any type of internet forum, disregarding the subject.

However, the overall {{w|world population}} ("people") is not more stupid than the average - per definition. There is also no other human population to compare to to draw the conclusion this population is stupid. So it is a ''stupid'' comment that [[White Hat]] makes. The award being given to him by [[Cueball]] is thus a very sarcastic one.

White Hat's self-perceived superiority may be an example of the {{w|Lake Wobegon effect}}, so named because Lake Wobegon is "where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average".

The last panel may be a reference to the (fictional) First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence in {{w|The Simpsons}} episode ''{{w|Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?}}''

In the title text the other phrase about having ''lost their faith in humanity'' also gets a comment on the way from Cueball. There are people who uses this phrase every time someone disagrees with them or say something they think is stupid. He jokes that he will let humanity (everyone else than the guy who makes the comment) know that he has lost faith in them - and very sarcastically remarks that humanity will probably be crushed (i.e. the rest of the world do not care if a single guy has lost faith in them...)

==Transcript==
:[White hat and Cueball are standing next to each other]
:White Hat: Well, you know, people are stupid.
:Cueball: *Sigh*

:[They have moved a little further apart]
:Cueball: No, people aren't stupid. On average, people are of average intelligence. When you say "people are stupid," you mean stupid compared to ''your'' expectations.

:[Close up of Cueball]
:Cueball: What you're really saying is "other people aren't as smart as '''me.'''"
:Cueball: And maybe you're right! In which case

:[White Hat is presented with a trophy by Cueball.]
:Cueball: I'd like to bestow upon you the
:[In the panel there is a close up of the trophy plaque (the text is in a frame):]
:First Annual Award for Excellence in Being Very Smart
:Cueball: May you continue to grace our internet with your wisdom

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

1386: People are Stupid

2014-06-25T08:04:48Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ expand

{{comic
| number = 1386
| date = June 25, 2014
| title = People are Stupid
| image = people_are_stupid.png
| titletext = To everyone who responds to everything by saying they've 'lost their faith in humanity': Thanks--I'll let humanity know. I'm sure they'll be crushed.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Incomplete}}
It is a common thing for people on the internet (on forums and comments sections of various websites) to make vague generalizations about the "stupidity of all people" or "losing faith in humanity," for instance when the topic is actually the stupidity or irrational/extreme behavior of one individual or group of individuals. Also the comment can come in any type of internet forum, disregarding the subject.

However, the overall world population ("people") is not more stupid than the average - per definition. There is also no other human population to compare to to draw the conclusion this population is stupid. So it is a ''stupid'' comment that [[White Hat]] makes. The award being given to him by [[Cueball]] is thus a very sarcastic one.

White Hat's self-perceived superiority may be an example of the {{w|Lake Wobegon effect}}, so named because Lake Wobegon is "where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average".

The last panel may be a reference to the (fictional) First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence in The Simpson's episode "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?"

In the title text the other phrase about ''lost their faith in humanity'' also gets a comment on the way from Cueball. There are people who uses this phrase every time someone disagrees with them or say something they think is stupid. He jokes that he will let humanity (everyone else than the guy who makes the comment) know that he has lost faith in them - and very sarcastically remarks that humanity will probably be crushed (i.e. the rest of the world do not care if a single guy has lost faith in them...)

==Transcript==
:[White hat and Cueball are standing next to each other]
:White Hat: Well, you know, people are stupid.
:Cueball: *Sigh*

:[They have moved a little further apart]
:Cueball: No, people aren't stupid. On average, people are of average intelligence. When you say "people are stupid," you mean stupid compared to ''your'' expectations.

:[Close up of Cueball]
:Cueball: What you're really saying is "other people aren't as smart as '''me.'''"
:Cueball: And maybe you're right! In which case

:[White Hat is presented with a trophy by Cueball.]
:Cueball: I'd like to bestow upon you the
:[In the panel there is a close up of the trophy plaque (the text is in a frame):]
:First Annual Award for Excellence in Being Very Smart
:Cueball: May you continue to grace our internet with your wisdom

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

Talk:1381: Margin

2014-06-13T05:38:39Z

Mattflaschen: yes

Isn't it possible that a mathematician knows about the existance or the proof of something, but doen't know how to technically do it? In this case, the margin remark would be accurate and not so funny. They have found a proof of existance for infinite information compression, but not yet discovered an actual method to do it. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.104.56|141.101.104.56]] 05:32, 13 June 2014 (UTC)
:Yes, when there's no example, it's called a {{w|pure existence theorem}}. If you actually demonstrate an example, that is a {{w|constructive proof}}. [[User:Mattflaschen|Mattflaschen]] ([[User talk:Mattflaschen|talk]]) 05:38, 13 June 2014 (UTC)

1381: Margin

2014-06-13T05:34:22Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ cn, gm

{{comic
| number = 1381
| date = June 13, 2014
| title = Margin
| image = margin.png
| titletext = PROTIP: You can get around the Shannon-Hartley limit by setting your font size to 0.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Still needs more information!}}
This is a reference to [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fermat's_Last_Theorem Fermat's Last Theorem], where Fermat claimed he had a proof that was too large to fit in the margin of a copy of ''Arithmetica''.

If information was actually infinitely compressible, the writer would be able to fit the proof in the margin due to his own proof.

The title text makes a reference to the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shannon%E2%80%93Hartley_theorem Shannon-Hartly Theorem], which tells the maximum rate at which information can be transmitted. Setting the font size to 0 would be the same as not giving any information at all. While it is technically possible to 'transmit' information with 0 bits,[citation needed] the information must always be the same and known beforehand.

==Transcript==
Written on the margin of a page:

:I have discovered a truly marvelous proof that information is infinitely compressible, but this margin is too small to...
:...oh
:never mind :(

{{comic discussion}}

1379: 4.5 Degrees

2014-06-11T04:27:15Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ gm

{{comic
| number = 1379
| date = June 9, 2014
| title = 4.5 Degrees
| image = 4_5_degrees.png
| titletext = The good news is that according to the latest IPCC report, if we enact aggressive emissions limits now, we could hold the warming to 2°C. That's only HALF an ice age unit, which is probably no big deal.
}}

==Explanation==
{{Incomplete|Do a more careful comparison of Randall's presented predictions with the most recent IPCC predictions}}
This comic is a way to visualize changes in climate over the next century. The prediction presented, 4-5 degrees Celsius of warming, doesn't seem like a very large change, but [[Randall]] points out that 4.5 °C is the difference between the {{w|Last glacial period|last ice age}} and today, which is quite a substantial difference. So, to give context to the number, he measures the temperature in "Ice Age Units," or IAU. 1 IAU is defined as the change in average global temperature by 4.5 degrees Celsius (8 °F). The last ice age was 1 IAU colder than the average "modern" {{w|global temperature}}, and Randall's neighborhood was buried under an ice sheet. The predicted change by the year 2100 is +1 IAU, and while we don't know what its effects will be exactly (represented by a large question mark in the comic) it will probably be huge. For reference he notes that a change of +2 IAU created the {{w|Cretaceous Thermal Maximum|"Hothouse Earth"}} of the early {{w|Cretaceous period}}. In short, while 4.5 °C seems like a small change in temperature, it seems quite a lot bigger if you phrase it as "halfway to having {{w|Arecaceae|palm trees}} at the poles." There were {{w|Polar forests of the Cretaceous|polar forests}} during the Cretaceous that grew in latitudes up to 85° in both Northern and Southern hemispheres. Of course there could not be trees in the ocean directly over the North Pole, but at the closest land masses ({{w|Greenland}} for instance) there could be trees.

On the colder side, -4 IAU is associated with {{w|Snowball Earth}}, a near-total freezing of the entire surface. How much of the planet was actually frozen in the {{w|Cryogenian}} period is disputed but it could have been the greatest ice age known to have occurred on Earth. The mean temperature must have lowered to a level of 15 to 20 °C below actual values roughly a billion years in the past.

The oldest known animal fossils ({{w|Sponges#Fossil_record|sponges}}) are from the Snowball Earth, while {{w|Flowering_plant#Evolution|flowering plants}} became the dominant plant species during the Cretaceous period.

The 200 m {{w|Current sea level rise|sea level rise}} given in the last panel for a "Cretaceous Hothouse" (i.e. if all ice on earth melted, including the Antarctic ice cap) could not be explained by this melt-off alone. If all the ice melted the water level would only increase by about 60-80 m, according to {{w|Antarctica}}, [http://www.grida.no/publications/other/ipcc_tar/?src=/climate/ipcc_tar/ IPCC Third Assessment Report] (section 11.2.3 on Greenland and Antarctic Ice Sheets) and [http://water.usgs.gov/edu/sealevel.html Sea Level and Climate: USGS Water-Science School]. Additional sea level rise can be expected from thermal expansion of seawater, and indeed the main reason for rising sea level at the moment is actually caused by this expansion of the sea due to increasing temperature. But the high-end 500-year projection for a 4x increase in CO2, at {{w|Current_sea_level_rise#IPCC_Third_Assessment|expansion of the sea}}, is for an additional 2 m due to thermal expansion, with a decreasing rate of growth over time.

The 5th and most recent {{w|Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change}} (IPCC AR5) presents four alternative trajectories for future concentrations of greenhouse gasses, termed {{w|Representative Concentration Pathways}} (RCPs): RCP2.6, RCP4.5, RCP6, and RCP8.5. They are named after possible ranges of radiative forcing values in the year 2100 relative to pre-industrial values (+2.6, +4.5, +6.0, and +8.5 W/m2, respectively). The hottest of these, RCP8.5, is predicted to result in a warming of 2.6 °C to 4.8 °C by 2100 ([http://www.climate2013.org/images/report/WG1AR5_SPM_FINAL.pdf Working Group I Summary for Policymakers]). This seems at odds with the 4-5 °C warming presented by Randall.

The title text says that even with instant and aggressive emissions reduction, the temperature will still rise by roughly half an IAU (2 °C). While it says it's ''probably no big deal'', this is a joke, because even the equivalent of half an Ice Age Unit of warming would cause a huge climate change. But it is unclear where his figure of 2 °C comes from. The coolest of the most recent IPCC trajectories (RCP2.6) forecasts warming of only 0.3 °C to 1.7 °C in the year 2100.

==Transcript==
:Without prompt, aggressive limits on CO2 emissions, the Earth will likely warm by an average of 4°-5°C by the century’s end.
:'''HOW BIG A CHANGE IS THAT?'''

:[A ruler chart is drawn inside a frame.]
:In the coldest part of the last ice age, Earth’s average temperature was 4.5°C below the 20th century norm.
:Let’s call a 4.5°C difference one '''”Ice age unit.“'''

:[A ruler with five main divisions — each again with 3 smaller quarter division markers. Above it the five main divisions are marked as follows with 0 in the middle:]
:-2 IAU -1 IAU 0 +1 IAU +2 IAU
:[Next to the 0 marking a black arrow points toward 0.2 on the scale and above it is written:]
:Where we are today

:[The rest of the text is below the ruler.]
:[To the far left below -2 IAU a curved arrow points to the left. Below it is written:]
:Snowball earth (-4 IAU)
:[Below -1 IAU a black arrow point toward this division. Below the arrow is written:]
:20,000 years ago
:[Below this an image of a glacier. At the top of the image is written:]
:My neighborhood:
:[At the bottom of the image is an arrow pointing to the glacier:]
:Half a mile of ice
:[Below 0 IAU a black arrow point toward this division. Below the arrow is written:]
:Average during modern times
:[Below this an image of Cueball standing on a green field with a city skyline in the background. At the top of the image is written:]
:My neighborhood:
:Cueball: Hi!
:[Below +1 IAU a black arrow point toward this division. Below the arrow is written:]
:Where we’ll be in 86 years
:[Below this a white image. At the top of the image is written:]
:My neighborhood:
:[Below this is a very large:]
:'''?'''
:[Below +2 IAU a black arrow point toward this division. Below the arrow is written:]
:Cretaceous hothouse
:+200m sea level rise
:No glaciers
:Palm trees at the poles

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Charts]]

1376: Jump

2014-06-02T06:50:37Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ rm uneeded curly brackets

{{comic
| number = 1376
| date = June 2, 2014
| title = Jump
| image = jump.png
| titletext = I hope I'm at least following the curve of the Earth around to land ...
}}

==Explanation==
Cueball is (presumably) experiencing a common dream subject, flying or floating. As in many varieties of such a dream, the ability to fly, float or glide only gradually manifests, going from longer and longer jumps to a sort of flight or hovering. In Cueball's case, his jumps become longer and 'lighter' until at last he is gliding just above the surface of the Earth. He has apparently had such a dream before, with just such a flight mechanic manifesting itself, as he indicates that he 'loves' these dreams.

In his (presumed) dream, Cueball finally achieves his gliding flight just as he reaches the shoreline, and his gliding carries him over the water's edge and out to sea. After a moment's reflection, he indicates that he HOPES it is a dream, as if he were really gliding out to sea without any real apparent means of control, his situation would presumably be rather perilous ... death by starvation or thirst, gradually slowing down and becoming 'stuck' over the water with no way to land, the loss of his gliding ability as suddenly as it came, etc, all suggest themselves as possible perils he would now be subject to if, in fact, his 'dream' were actual reality.

The mouseover text adds a further worry not immediately apparent unless one considers the possibility that Cueball's 'gliding' is actually some sort of cessation of gravity acting upon his person, in which case he would (if his forward momentum were maintained) continue moving in a straight line while the Earth's surface would curve away beneath him, sending him out into space instead of the (relatively) preferable scenario of merely floating across the ocean to the opposite shore.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}

Cueball is jumping in the open...

"I love these dreams... Each jump is a little longer... Each push off the ground a little softer... Until I...GLIDE"

Cueball jumps over a fence and floats in the air, over the sea

"...I ''hope'' this is a dream."

1374: Urn

2014-06-01T05:30:47Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ tweak trigger warning wording

{{comic
| number = 1374
| date = May 28, 2014
| title = Urn
| image = urn.png
| titletext = Can this PLEASE be drawing with replacement?
}}

==Explanation==
A common tool for explaining concepts in elementary probability theory are games involving the drawing of coloured balls from a container, such as a bag, or hat. In older statistics related texts, a convention developed of describing the container as an urn. This was so common that such problems are often called [[wikipedia:Urn problem|urn problems]]

While an {{w|urn}} can have many uses, in modern times the most common context in which it is used is to contain the burned remains of deceased individuals after a {{w|cremation}}. This is likely because as interior decor has grown more minimalist, other types of urn became less common and the association of the word urn to cremation has become ubiquitous in the vernacular.

[[Megan]], when asked to imagine drawing balls from an urn, imagines an cremation urn containing not only balls, but also human remains. She may be referring to a real grandfather who has been cremated, or is simply improvising a joke based on the fact that for her, and most modern individuals, the mention of an urn (traditional in statistics ball-drawing games) instantly evokes the image of a cremation urn.

The title text refers to two distinct scenarios in the coloured ball experiment: The balls may be replaced between each drawing, or not. In the former case, each draw is independent of the previous, in the latter the chances of picking a particular (remaining) ball the next time have increased. Megan (or rather [[Randall]] if it is he who speaks in the title text) would prefer to put the ashes back into the urn. She might also want to have her grandfather back, and be playing with the word "replacement".

The distinction between repeated drawing with and without replacement is used in most presentations of elementary probability because it illustrates a subtle but important theoretical distinction: if the balls are replaced, one at a time, before drawing the next, the number of balls of a certain colour has the {{w|binomial distribution}}, but if the balls are not replaced, so that the same ball cannot be drawn twice, you instead get the {{w|hypergeometric distribution}}.

This comic comes during wide media discussion of the idea of {{w|Trauma trigger#Trigger warning|trigger warnings}} in classrooms. The idea behind such warnings is that teachers should be warning students about any and all concepts from the class that may cause traumatic associations for them. Randall may be referring to this. If so, he is probably criticizing the idea by taking it to a logical extreme.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is standing in a classroom with Megan at a desk.]
:Cueball: Imagine that you're drawing at random from an urn containing fifteen balls - six red and nine black.
:Megan: OK. I reach in and... '''''...My grandfather's ashes?!?''' Oh God!''
:Cueball: I... what?
:Megan: '''''Why would you do this to me?!?'''''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Math]]

1372: Smartwatches

2014-05-26T23:28:39Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ small wording tweak, gm

{{comic
| number = 1372
| date = May 23, 2014
| title = Smartwatches
| image = smartwatches.png
| titletext = This is even better than my previous smartphone casemod: an old Western Electric Model 2500 desk phone handset complete with a frayed, torn-off cord dangling from it.
}}

==Important Safety Warning==
Prior to sawing a smartphone, remove the battery. Sawing through a phone that contains a battery can cause chemical burns or fire.

==Explanation==
[[wikipedia:Smartwatch|Smartwatches]] are fairly recent innovations which function something like smartphones which are attached to one's wrist, although the screens are often shorter than those of typical smartphones, and they typically need to be attached via bluetooth to a smartphone. This comic shows someone "{{w|Case modding}}" some smartwatches and a broken smartphone; that is, taking the electronic innards of two smartwatches and putting them into the sawn-in-half case of a smartphone before attaching the two halves with a hinge, allowing it to open and close like flip phones, a type that was popular before the rise of smartphones.

The {{w|Model_500_telephone#Model_2500|Western Electric Model 2500}} is the last standard desk-style domestic telephone set issued by the {{w|Bell System}} in North America. It contains the # key and the * key, so it can be said it has same application features as the first cellphones, but it's obviously much bigger, and of course not wireless. Smartphones usually have much more functionality. {{w|Case modding}} is the art of building machines (usually computers) into nicely shaped non-standard cases. The opinion about "niceness" of the result vary, as usual in art. The point is that changing the case doesn't change the functionality, so the niceness (or, usually, "coolness") is generally the only relevant feature (although, badly done modding can affect cooling).

It appears that [[Randall]] has a rather low opinion of smartwatches, as he suggests that it would be better to take out their screens and mount them onto a dead iPhone than to use them the way smartwatches are normally used.

However, Randall's suggestion to cut open the dead phone with a hacksaw is unsound for several reasons:
1. Any attempt to saw through glass will cause it to shatter. To cut glass, one needs to grind it, not saw it.
2. Even if the phone is dead, the battery may be charged. Saw blades conduct electricity, so the person might get shocked.
3. Some batteries contain chemicals that are toxic or explosive. Even if the battery is discharged, sawing through it is very dangerous.
To add which, the hinge depicted in the cartoon is an ordinary household hinge. It is overly large for using in electronics compared to hinges on old clamshell-style cell phones, and drilling holes in the watch cases to attach one would potentially damage the internal electronic circuits, rendering the watch useless.

==Transcript==
:A USE FOR SMARTWATCHES:
:[Depicted are two smartwatches, both labelled as "Working" and showing generic colour displays, and one smartphone labelled as "Dead" with a blank screen.]

:[A hacksaw cutting through the smartphone, throughout the middle of the long edge of the case.]

:[The two smartwatches are shown with the wristband and case broken around the edge of the display because the displays with the associated electronics are removed. Arrows are shown coming from the smartwatch cases to the smartwatch displays, then from the displays to the smartphone case halves.]

:[The smartphone halves are installed with the smartwatch components and a hinge with screws beside is shown. Another view shows the hinge screwed into the back of the smartphone case.]

:[The smartphone with the working smartwatch components installed is shown, with the hinge three-quarters open and fully closed - resembling an early flip-phone.]
:World's first flip iPhone

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Smartphones]]

1371: Brightness

2014-05-22T05:05:12Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ fix link

{{comic
| number = 1371
| date = May 21, 2014
| title = Brightness
| image = brightness.png
| titletext = Recently, some exoplanet astronomers have managed to use careful analysis of reflected light to discover Earth during the day.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Exoplanets}} are planets outside of our solar system, and exoplanet astronomers are astronomers who attempt to discover and study such planets.

[[Megan]] is using a common exoplanet {{w|Exoplanet#Indirect_methods|discovery technique}} to discover a planet around a nearby star. When a planet passes between an observing astronomer and a star, the planet will block some tiny part of the light coming from that star, causing it to appear dimmer for some amount of time. The {{w|Kepler (spacecraft)|Kepler telescope}} used this technique to find evidence for exoplanets.

But here Megan is standing on the surface of the Earth at night, presumably looking in the direction of the sun. By observing that it is completely occluded at night, she correctly concludes that the Sun is orbited by at least one planet: the Earth.

The title text alludes to using more complicated techniques to observe light reflected by small planets like the Earth, for example by detecting {{w|Methods of detecting exoplanets#Polarimetry|polarized light}} reflected from the planet's atmosphere. In some sense, observing the light that reflects off of the Earth during the day is in fact how we see everything around us. The title text may also be an expansion upon [[1231: Habitable Zone]], in which an astronomer also uses a roundabout method to "discover" Earth.

More details at: {{w|Methods of detecting exoplanets}}

==Transcript==
:[Megan is standing on a black night-time background, staring at the ground.]
:Megan: Based on this decrease in the star's brightness, I believe it is orbited by at least one planet.

:Exoplanet astronomers at night

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Exoplanets]]

1305: Undocumented Feature

2014-05-22T05:02:07Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ spl

{{comic
| number = 1305
| date = December 18, 2013
| title = Undocumented Feature
| before = [[#Explanation|↓ Skip to explanation ↓]]
| image = undocumented_feature.png
| titletext = And it doesn't pop up a box every time asking you to use your real name. In fact, there's no way to set your name at all. You just have to keep reminding people who you are.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Some layout issues, still too many adds after this tag was removed. Language is another issue}}
An {{w|undocumented feature}} is a part of a software product that is not explained in the documentation for the product. [[Cueball]] has found such a feature, a chat room intended to ask for help, accessible through the help page of some unnamed old Windows utility. The people who found the chat room started out using it for its intended purpose (helping users of the utility by contacting other users), however as time has passed they have become friends and enter the chat only to talk to each other, with no relation to computer problems.

A {{w|virtual machine}} (or VM) is a computer program designed to emulate the hardware of a full computer. In this case, users of the old chat room create VMs only to have the old operating system installed which included the utility program. They use this setup only to access the old chat room. This is shown in the third panel where [[Cueball]] is using a modern laptop to enter the chatroom (presumably by means of a VM), whereas [[Ponytail]] is still using an old computer (as evidenced by the CRT monitor).

A chat room like this must be hosted on some outside server, so the narrator of the comic wonders who runs this server. An obvious thought about this is if and when the server will be shut down, effectively cutting all communication among chat users. Another obvious thought is why the utility author is still maintaining the chat server, since its original purpose (allowing communication between users with problems with the utility program) is no longer an issue as everybody has migrated to more modern systems. The comic suggests that the reason for doing this can be a bored {{w|System administrator|sysadmin}}, who is just reading the messages of the chat users and following their lives but never writing anything. This would turn the chat room into a {{w|soap opera}} for the sysadmin.

The {{w|Deep Web}} is a term used to refer to any information which is available online, but is hard to find (usually because there are no links to that information in web pages). The chat room described would be an example of this. From this point on, the comic takes an {{w|existentialist}} turn (a frequent xkcd trait), talking about how life is short, everything has to end, etc.

The last panel is a reference to [http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304403804579263371125671670 Facebook's recent announcement] that it would start autoplaying video ads, and the title text refers to YouTube requiring its users to use their real-life identities instead of just nicknames. These last parts of the comics somehow reveal that the point of the whole comic is just to complain about aggressive money-driven policies used by modern social networks in general and Facebook in particular. It is hinted that [[Randall]] would prefer older technologies, where limited resources would forbid autoplaying videos or huge databases with every detail of every user's life.

It's possible that the comic is about an actual chat room, but more likely it is a complete invention, since if it were real someone would have been able to trace its origin. However if it is real, the participants would not want to confirm this in order to protect their privacy.

The title text mentions the simplicity of this chat; even user names do not exist and other users could only be identified by their behavior because the user names are random and can change on every login.

==Transcript==
:[A support window is shown.]
:An old Windows utility has an undocumented feature. If you open "help" and click on the background, you get dropped into a "support" chat room.
:Support Window: Launching support forum...

:[An active conversation between two people is shown.]
:Only a few of us ever found it. But we became friends.

:[Cueball and Ponytail are at computers.]
:We kept launching the program to check in. Eventually some of us were running VMs just to keep accessing it.

:[Another conversation.]
:As the Internet aged, so did we.

:[Three question marks.]
:We don't know who runs the server. We don't know why it's still working so many years later. Maybe we're some sysadmin's soap opera.

:[A group of people are shown in a bubble.]
:It will probably vanish someday, but for now it's our meeting place. Our hideaway.

:[The bubble is now smaller, and some parts of a web are shown.]
:A life's worth of chat,

:[More of the web is shown.]
:Buried in the deep web.

:[A flat landscape is shown with the sun at the horizon.]
:But even if it lasts forever, ''we'' won't. When we're gone, who will remember us?

:[Cueball and Hairy are shown standing together in a bubble.]
:Who will remember this strange little world and the friendships we built here?

:Nobody.

:[An empty bubble is shown.]
:This place is irrelevant. Ephemeral. One day it will be forgotten.

:[The bubble starts to fade away.]
:And so will we

:[The bubble has almost completely faded away.]

:[The bubble is now completely gone.]

:But at least it doesn't have fucking video ads.

==Trivia==
There are many examples of undocumented features in programs written for old versions of Windows, for example:
* When playing {{w|Solitaire (Windows)|Windows Solitaire}} with the "draw three" option, one can [http://www.eeggs.com/items/42178.html draw single cards] by holding <Ctrl+Alt+Shift> while clicking on the card to draw cards.
* When playing {{w|Microsoft Minesweeper|Windows Minesweeper}} in pre-Windows-95 versions, typing "{{w|xyzzy}}" followed by <Enter> and then <Right-shift>, will [http://www.eeggs.com/items/49964.html turn the top left pixel] of the windows background black or white to indicate if the mouse is over a mine or not.
* The first releases of {{w|Windows 95}} allowed one to see the "credits" for Win95 by creating a folder in the desktop and then [http://www.eeggs.com/items/478.html renaming it several times].
* {{w|Microsoft word|Word}} 97 has an embedded pinball game, accessible by a [http://www.eeggs.com/items/763.html weird sequence of strange actions].
* {{w|Microsoft Excel|Excel}} 97 has also an embedded game of a spaceship floating over a planet, accessible by another [http://www.eeggs.com/items/718.html weird sequence of actions].
* {{w|Microsoft Excel|Excel}} 2000 has an embedded [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGZfuwsvIFQ car racing game].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]
[[Category:Social networking]]
[[Category:YouTube]]

202: YouTube

2014-05-05T09:12:57Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ rm extra period

{{comic
| number = 202
| date = December 27, 2006
| title = YouTube
| image = youtube.png
| titletext = I pray GunPistolMan never learns the word 'sheeple'.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic is pointing out the fact that many of the comments on YouTube videos are insipid and poorly informed, being pointless arguments over some minor topic, or factually incorrect position.

In this case, the moon landing hoaxers are at the receiving end of [[Randall|Randall's]] pen.

The comment by ''bigmike133'' confuses the {{w|Space Shuttle}} (which was never capable of landing on the moon) with the {{w|Apollo Lunar Module}}.

The comment from ''GunPistolMan'' claims that the video is fake due to the mistaken belief that the moon would have no gravity, whereas in reality every object in the universe made of matter has gravity, including the Moon, comets, asteriods, moons of other planets and so on. The gravity of the Moon is approximately 1/6th the gravity of Earth.

{{w|Louis Armstrong}} was a famous jazz musician, who may have [http://lyrics.wikia.com/Louis_Armstrong:Moon_Song waxed] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5x8HnyIYHE lyrical] about the moon, but never went there. The ill-informed ''CrackMonkey74'' meant the astronaut {{w|Neil Armstrong}}. The dare to accuse Armstrong to his face may be a reference to an incident where moon-hoax conspiracy theorist {{w|Bart Sibrel}} confronted Buzz Aldrin and called him "a coward, and a liar, and a thief". Aldrin responded by punching Sibrel; Sibrel's attempt to bring charges was dismissed on the grounds that he had provoked Aldrin to the point where the punch was a justified response.

Finally, ''simpleplan2009'' presents the ludicrous position that the moon shot was faked by suggesting that the footage was filmed by actors on {{w|Mars}}, a planet that at its closest approach to Earth is over a hundred times farther away than the moon. Landing humans on Mars (much less landing enough people and equipment to set up a soundstage) is a feat that has still not been accomplished, and if it had been possible during the Apollo era, the landing on the moon would have been trivial task in comparison. In other words, why go through all the trouble of faking it, if doing it for real would have been no trouble at all?

The title text is the first reference to [[:Category:Sheeple|Sheeple]] which appeared a few more times in xkcd comics.

The reputation of YouTube comment threads as cesspools of abject stupidity and blatant trolling is revisited in [[481: Listen to Yourself]].

==Transcript==
:The Internet has always had loud dumb people, but I've never seen anything quite as bad as the people who comment on YouTube videos.
:[A YouTube comments page for a moon landing video.]
:Comments & Responses
:rocckir (48 minutes ago)
:this is so obviously faked its unbilevable, why r people so gullible??? morons
:bigmike133 (35 minutes ago)
:ive seen the space shuttle ass hole it definetly landed on the moon do some research...
:GunPistolMan (22 minutes ago)
:if it was real why is their gravity? americans r fucken sheep
:crackmonkey74 (17 minutes ago)
:u dont think we went to the moon why not tell louis armstrong to his face
:simpleplan2009 (5 minutes ago)
:it was a soundstage on mars

==Trivia==
*On August 25, 2012 Neil Armstrong passed away. He died at an age of 82.
*CrackMonkey74 later appears in [[406: Venting]], and then again in [[574: Swine Flu]].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:YouTube]]
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:Sheeple]]

1363: xkcd Phone

2014-05-03T22:13:20Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ link, tweak plane one

{{comic
| number = 1363
| date = May 2, 2014
| title = xkcd Phone
| image = xkcd_phone.png
| titletext = Presented in partnership with Qualcomm, Craigslist, Whirlpool, Hostess, LifeStyles, and the US Chamber of Commerce. Manufactured on equipment which also processes peanuts. Price includes 2-year Knicks contract. Phone may extinguish nearby birthday candles. If phone ships with Siri, return immediately; do not speak to her and ignore any instructions she gives. Do not remove lead casing. Phone may attract/trap insects; this is normal. Volume adjustable (requires root). If you experience sudden tingling, nausea, or vomiting, perform a factory reset immediately. Do not submerge in water; phone will drown. Exterior may be frictionless. Prolonged use can cause mood swings, short-term memory loss, and seizures. Avert eyes while replacing battery. Under certain circumstances, wireless transmitter may control God.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a parody of a multitude of mobile-technology related issues that, when brought together, create a general satire of smartphone advertising. The advertised features here either make previously useful capabilities useless or add features nobody wants. Except for "your mobile world (going) digital", which is old news.

From bottom left, going clockwise:

* '''FlightAware partnership:''' This is a reference to the [http://www.flightaware.com/ FlightAware] flight tracking service. This FlightAware partnership results in the phone playing airplane engine noise whenever a flight passes over the phone's current location, an annoying and arbitrary feature. It may also be superfluous, as such noise may be heard from the plane itself, depending on altitude.
* '''Realistic case:''' possibly a joke on various audiovisual devices like gaming consoles that advertise realistic sound, graphics, etc. Of course, applying "realistic" to an actual physical case is ridiculous. Either the case is actually real, or it doesn't actually function as a case. Possible reference to [[331: Photoshops|Photoshops]], where [[Cueball]] finds a physical object to not look realistic.
* '''Clear screen:''' This is a pointless descriptor from the perspective of the consumer. Of course the screen is clear. This joke works in tandem with the previous joke, as a play on "clear case, realistic screen," which are both hypothetically viable selling points.
* '''Side Facing Camera:''' There was a recent controversy surrounding an [https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/spy-cam-peek-i Indiegogo for a surreptitious, side-mounted camera device] for smartphones due to the advertisement of the device as a good way to take creep shots, which are illegal in many places. Widespread dissemination of these devices as a built-in feature would likely result in a sharp increase in delinquency of this nature. May also be an ''ad absurdum'' extension of devices with both forward and backward facing cameras.
* '''Custom blend OS:''' iOS and Android are offered by different conglomerates and run on different kernels. A "custom blend" would probably be a nightmare to work with.
* '''Simulates alternative speed of light:''' This renders the clock useless. The speed of light is roughly 2.99x108 meters per second. Relativistic effects, such as {{w|time dilation}}, are only noticeable at significant fractions of the speed of light. Since the phone is simulating a much slower speed of light, driving at even highway speeds will cause a significant amount of time dilation. For example, driving at 90mph (90% of the default simulated speed of light) will give a time dilation factor of about 2.29, causing the clock to advance only 26 minutes for each hour; driving at exactly 100mph makes the dilation factor infinite and will stop the clock entirely. Driving beyond 100mph...would make the clock start advancing through imaginary/complex time rather than real time. Somehow. (Let's not go there.)
* '''Wireless:''' as in cordless phone. This is the bare minimum a phone has to have in order to be a mobile phone, so advertising it as a feature feels dated by decades. Or, perhaps Munroe is implying the entire phone is without wires, in which case it wouldn't function.
* '''Accelerometer screams in free fall:''' Another useless function. Rather than having some sort of feature to prevent breakage or cracking when a drop is detected, the phone just makes you more aware of its potential imminent doom.
* '''When exposed to light, phone says "hi":''' Bait and switch, and also a build from the previous joke. The implied feature is that the screen or camera will automatically adjust, but instead the phone is weirdly anthropomorphized.

The ominous warnings and disclaimers in the title text are probably a reference to the ''Saturday Night Live'' parody ad for {{w|Happy Fun Ball}} ([http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/pictures/50-greatest-saturday-night-live-sketches-of-all-time-20140203/happy-fun-ball-0459912 original video hosted on rollingstone.com]).

* '''Presented in partnership with {{w|Qualcomm}}, {{w|Craigslist}}, Whirlpool, {{w|Hostess}}, LifeStyles, and the US Chamber of Commerce.''' Qualcomm is a semiconductor company that designs and produces chips for mobile phones. {{w|Whirlpool Corporation}} is a large American multinational manufacturer and marketer of home appliances, while {{w|Whirlpool (website)|Whirlpool}} is a prominent Australian tech forum website, originally created for discussion of Australian broadband providers but now extending to cover general tech topics, including mobile phones. The other companies mentioned here have no association with mobile phones, though there is a long history of unrelated companies attempting to leverage their respective brands to help promote each other.
* '''Manufactured on equipment which also processes peanuts.''' A warning often seen on candy and other foods for people with a peanut allergy. It is highly unlikely that equipment used to produce mobile phones would also process food.
* '''Price includes 2-year Knicks contract.''' Mobile phones are often sold by phone companies in combination with a cell phone plan, but a contract with the {{w|New_York_Knicks|Knicks}} would only appeal to pro basketball players.
* '''Phone may extinguish nearby birthday candles.''' A rather oddly specific capability, which might also be annoying for anyone attempting to host a birthday party. As to how it would do this, a very powerful directional speaker would be able to blow out a nearby candle, but the speakers in mobile phones aren't going to be that big.
* '''If phone ships with {{w|Siri}}, return immediately; do not speak to her and ignore any instructions she gives.''' {{w|Siri}} is a virtual personal assistant application for Apple devices. Not speaking to it and not following its instructions would defeat its purpose. It may suggest that a malevolent "Siri AI" has sneaked itself onto some devices, at the manufacturing stage, for some diabolical purpose. May be a reference to the Companion Cube in the game Portal, in which the player is instructed to disregard it's advice if the cube appears to be animate.
* '''Do not remove lead casing.''' A mobile phone encased in lead would not function because it could not transmit or receive data. Devices that emit high levels of ionizing radiation are often encased in lead, but a phone that would emit that level of radiation would be unhealthy to carry around. If encased in sufficient lead to mitigate the danger, it would be uncomfortably heavy. This might be reference to [https://xkcd.com/925/ xkcd comic no 925: Cell phones] where Randall makes fun of the WHO claiming that cell phones might cause cancer despite huge studies showing the opposite. This could also mean the device is an actual bananaphone as regular phones emit no ionizing radiation ([http://xkcd.com/radiation xkcd Radiation Dose Chart]). Regrettably, the lead casing would render the phone inedible.
* '''Phone may attract/trap insects; this is normal.''' Some plants, like the {{w|Venus_flytrap|Venus flytrap}}, attract and trap insects, but mobile phones are not known to exhibit this behaviour. May be a reference to "crazy ants" which are attracted to electronics.
* '''Volume adjustable (requires root).''' {{w|Android_rooting|Rooting}} is the method to gain privileged access on Android phones. Adjusting the volume should be available to any user and would not be restricted to root access only.
* '''If you experience sudden tingling, nausea, or vomiting, perform a factory reset immediately.''' These symptoms are usually associated with chemical or radiation poisoning. Neither of these would be cured by a {{w|Factory_reset|factory reset}}.
* '''Do not submerge in water; phone will drown.''' Most phones are not waterproof and will probably short-circuit when submerged. Drowning however, would imply that the phone breathes air (which actually would be possible if it had a {{w|Lithium–air battery|Li-air battery}}).
* '''Exterior may be frictionless.''' The front of a smartphone is usually made of glass and should have a surface with very low friction. The back of a phone is usually made from a material that has higher friction to make it pleasant to hold and to make sure it doesn't slide off objects it is placed on. A [[669: Experiment|completely frictionless surface]] would make it almost impossible to hold and would make it very susceptible to drops.
* '''Prolonged use can cause mood swings, short-term memory loss, and seizures.''' These are all side effects that are associated with certain kinds of medication or radiation treatment of the brain and would not be acceptable for mobile phones.
* '''Avert eyes while replacing battery.''' Actions that would warrant averting your eyes are usually associated with high-intensity light capable of causing eye damage. Depending on the specific energy source, this may be accompanied by high levels of other types of radiation (e.g. making an {{w|X-ray}} photo). This may hint that the phone might be powered by a radionuclide battery which would explain the lead casing and the possible radiation side effects. A phone that emits X-ray radiation would not be healthy to be around. Alternately, this may be a reference to the {{w|Ark_of_the_Covenant|Ark Of The Covenant}}, implying that gazing upon the battery or the compartment wall behind it is forbidden on pain of severe punishment.
* '''Under certain circumstances, wireless transmitter may control God.''' According to most religions, God (or Gods) are usually in control of us. God(s) are usually viewed as not directly controllable.

==Transcript==
:Runs custom blend on Android and iOS
:Side-facing camera
:Simulates alternate speeds of light (default: 100 miles per hour) and adjusts clock as phone accelerates
:Clear screen
:Realistic case
:Wireless
:Accelerometer detects when phone is in free fall and makes it scream
:Flightaware partnership: Makes airplane noise when flights pass overhead
:When exposed to light, phone says "hi!"

:''Introducing''
:'''The xkcd phone'''
:Your mobile world just went digital®

{{comic discussion}}

886: Craigslist Apartments

2014-04-18T05:15:55Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ more about square house, tweak strobe one

{{comic
| number = 886
| date = April 15, 2011
| title = Craigslist Apartments
| image = craigslist apartments.png
| titletext = $1600 / 1386153BR 3BATH, MODERN SLIDING DOORS, GUEST ROOMS, GARBAGE DISPOSAL. FREE MANDATORY PARKING (ENFORCED). CONVENIENT TO ALDERAAN.
}}

==Explanation==
First and foremost, just like all {{w|Craigslist}} apartment postings, all of these posts are in all caps and some of the posts are re-posted several times, which is very annoying, but must work, otherwise the agents would not do it. Additionally, lots of posts use lots of tildes, exclamation points or asterisks as above to set their posts apart from others.

*$1600 / 2BR <nowiki>~~~</nowiki> Hardwood floors, utilities included. Cats OK, limit one per square foot.
:This ad is aimed at "crazy cat ladies/bachelors" who compulsively keep a number of animals much greater than is appropriate to the living space.

*$1100 / **** Great deal square house door in front!!! ****
:This is the first repetition of an entry that appears multiple times. It is also extremely generic, telling the reader little useful about the house. The square house might be a garage, or just a regular square house.

*$2300 / 3BR !!!!!!!! Elegant apartment permanently lit by strobe light!!!! No floor.
:A strobe light is a very bright light that, instead of remaining on, flashes very quickly. It's frequently used in parties. Living in an apartment with a constant strobe light might degrade the tenant's health. Many lights with faulty wiring flicker repeatedly, producing a strobe effect; therefore, the listing may be a cheery spin on an apartment with bad wiring. Also, the stated lack of a floor would probably make standing (and indeed living) in the apartment somewhat difficult.
:

*$980 / 1BR New "hammock"-style dwelling. Water and heat free from same dispenser. Viking landlord.
:Hammock style dwelling sounds like working as an oarsman on a Viking ship.

*$1550 / 2BR (one inside the other). Has running water, in a sense. Free heat in short, intense bursts. Klein stairs.
:This place is possibly a reference to {{w|Klein geometry}}.

*$3200 / 1BR W/trimmed carpet and pert fixtures. Previous tenants clean. Call now, want you inside. $120/night (no animals)
:The trimmed carpet is obviously a sex posting, because Craigslist has taken down the obvious prostitution posts after getting a lot of heat about them. So, this is a posting to get around those sort of rules.

*$2100 / 3BR on scenic Ash Tree Lane. Builder unknown; house has always existed. Walls shift; center of house may contain minotaur.
:The {{w|Minotaur}} house is a reference to the Labyrinth and Minotaur on Crete from ancient Greek mythology, as well as the novel ''{{w|House of Leaves}}''.

*$600 / 5BR Three floors w/pool, rooftop garden, beautiful glass facade, no catch, 5-min drive to historic Pripyat.
:This is a reference to the ghost town of {{w|Pripyat}}, which is near the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant in northern Ukraine. It may also be the nuclear facility itself, depending on interpretation; the pool and 3-story structure are part of the power plant's design, the rooftop now has plants growing on it after years of neglect, and the glass facade references radioactive glassy minerals created by the explosion.

*$7100 / 60BR Sleek modern w/extreme running water. Previous tenants may resist entry. Contains all new wiring and is a submarine.
:This house is a submarine, as indicated by the advertisement, presumably operated by the navy. The "previous tenants", being members of the armed forces, would undoubtedly resist entry of someone attempting to board their submarine. The sixty bedrooms refers to the crew members' bunks on board the ship, which are in extremely tight quarters and can be very uncomfortable.

*$1616 / 3BR + 2Bath, tub full of blood. Closet full of board games which play themselves. Pets OK but won't survive long.
:The last one on the list does not seem to be a direct scary movie reference, but a horror movie reference in general.

''Title text:'' $1600 / 1386153BR 3bath, modern sliding doors, guest rooms, garbage disposal. Free mandatory parking (enforced). Convenient to Alderaan.

The title text is a reference to the {{w|Death Star}} in Star Wars. {{w|Alderaan}} is the home planet of {{w|Princess Leia}}, which was obliterated by the Death Star. Mandatory parking references the tractor beams used to drag nearby ships (such as the Millennium Falcon) into the base. It seems somewhat inconvenient that this "apartment" has over a million bedrooms but only three bathrooms.

==Transcript==
:[The comic is a single panel, presented as an apartment search.]
:[Title bar.]
:All apartments
:Search for: [_______] in: All apartments ( ) Title only (*) Entire post Search
:Rent: [Min] [Max] 0+ BR [ ] Cats [ ] Dogs [ ] Has image
:[Date bar.]
:Fri Apr 15
:[Begin the apartment listings.]
:$1600 / 2BR <nowiki>~~~</nowiki> Hardwood floors, utilities included. Cats ok, limit one per square foot.
:$1100 / **** GREAT DEAL SQUARE HOUSE DOOR IN FRONT!!! ****
:$2300 / 3BR !!!!!!!! Elegant apartment permanently lit by strobe light!!!! No floor.
:$1100 / **** GREAT DEAL SQUARE HOUSE DOOR IN FRONT!!! ****
:$980 / 1BR New "hammock"-style dwelling. Water and heat free from same dispenser. Viking landlord.
:$1550 / 2BR (one inside the other). Has running water, in a sense. Free heat in short, intense bursts. Klein stairs.
:$1100 / **** GREAT DEAL SQUARE HOUSE DOOR IN FRONT!!! ****
:$1100 / **** GREAT DEAL SQUARE HOUSE DOOR IN FRONT!!! ****
:$3200 / 1BR W/trimmed carpet and pert fixtures. Previous tenants clean. Call now, want you inside. $120/night (no animals)
:$2100 / 3BR on scenic Ash Tree Lane. Builder unknown; house has always existed. Walls shift; center of house may contain minotaur.
:$1100 / **** GREAT DEAL SQUARE HOUSE DOOR IN FRONT!!! ****
:$600 / 5BR Three floors w/pool, rooftop garden, beautiful glass facade, no catch, 5-min drive to historic Pripyat.
:$7100 / 60BR Sleek modern w/extreme running water. Previous tenants may resist entry. Contains all new wiring and is a submarine.
:$1616 / 3BR + 2Bath, tub full of blood. Closet full of board games which play themselves. Pets ok but won't survive long.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]

143: Parody Week: TFD and Natalie Dee

2014-04-11T17:40:38Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ gm

{{comic
| number = 143
| date = August 16, 2006
| title = Parody Week: TFD and Natalie Dee
| image = tfd_nataliedee.png
| titletext = Although bees with tires would be kinda funny.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a part of the Parody Week.

TFD is an acronym for {{w|Toothpaste For Dinner}} what is a daily one-panel cartoon written and drawn by {{w|Drew Fairweather}}. Each comic features small, simple drawings, paired with short captions or dialogue.

{{w|Natalie Dee}} is the author of the daily comics [http://nataliedee.com/ Natalie Dee]. This webcomic comprise various sketches illustrating amusing or anecdotal situations from every day life.

Drew and Natalie are husband & wife, and are also the authors of the webcomic {{w|Married to the Sea}}.

This early comic is just joking about bees with tires; no animals ever did develop this. The title text just mentions that this would be a funny thing.

This comic is a part of the Parody Week, just joking about other webcomics.
*[[Parody Week: Achewood]]
*[[Parody Week: Megatokyo]]
*'''Parody Week: TFD and Natalie Dee'''
*[[Parody Week: A Softer World]]
*[[Parody Week: Dinosaur Comics]]

==Transcript==
:Cueball: SO GUYS WHAT IS FUNNY THIS WEEK?
:Woman wearing a blue t-shirt: bees!
:Man: tires.
:Woman wearing a blue t-shirt: bees with tires!
:Man: whatever

==Trivia==
*The stick figure is a regular xkcd character, it's [[Cueball]]; the woman wearing a blue t-shirt is often featured in 'Natalie Dee' and the blob faced guy is from TFD.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

1037: Umwelt

2014-04-11T17:19:25Z

Mattflaschen: /* France */ more accurate text, link

{{comic
| number = 1037
| date = April 1, 2012
| title = Umwelt
| image = umwelt_the_void.jpg
| titletext = Umwelt is the idea that because their senses pick up on different things, different animals in the same ecosystem actually live in very different worlds. Everything about you shapes the world you inhabit--from your ideology to your glasses prescription to your web browser.
}}
==Explanation==
{{Incomplete|Many of the strips are not explained}}
An {{w|Umwelt}}, as the title text explains, is the idea that ones entire way of thinking is dependent on their surroundings. Thus, this {{w|April Fools}} comic changes based on the browser, location, or referrer. Thus, what the viewer is viewing the comic on, where they live, or where they came from determines which comic they actually see. As a result, there are actually multiple comics that went up on April Fools' Day, although only one is seen.

Information about how the wide variety of data was collected and credit for the viewers who contributed can be found [http://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/rnst4/april_fools_xkcd_changing_comic/ here].

===The Void===
[[File:umwelt_the_void.jpg]]

If the device or browser you are using does not support Javascript, you will simply see a static image of a white swirl on a dark background.

Possible reference to The Ring (imgur.com/wlGmm), as though to suggest that using an alternative browser is dismal and horrific.

Davean (xkcd's sysadmin): "[This] comic isn't available everywhere and it can come up i[n] some situation[s] only for recognized browsers."

Browser: Alternative Browser

===Aurora===
[[File:umwelt_aurora.png]]

The joke here is either that Canadians, where the comic was shown, would regard the {{w|Aurora (astronomy)|Aurora Borealis}} as normal and thus, would not've seen the sight as particularly amazing, or that XKCD characters see in black and white and would not notice the colors.
Alternately, one could interpret that since Megan didn't go out and therefore missed seeing the Aurora, the main character lied. That way, she wouldn't have felt sad that she missed out.

This image changed based on the size of the browser window including different panels at different sizes.

Locations: Canada, Boston, Maine, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Minnesota, Norway

===Snake===
[[File:umwelt_snake_composite_1024.png]]
[[:File:umwelt_snake_composite.png|Full size]]

The joke here is the extreme length of snakes. The world's longest snake is the python, the longest ever being 33 feet or approx. 10 meters. The red and blue circles refer to the hit game {{w|Portal}}.
There is also a reference to the book "The Little Prince" in the second panel.

Also, the number and content of the panels changes depending on the size of your browser window.

This image changed based on the size of the browser window including different panels at different sizes.

Specific AltText for this image: Umwelt is the idea that because their senses pick up on different things, different animals in the same ecosystem actually live in very different worlds. Everything about you shapes the world you inhabit -from your ideology to your glasses prescription to your browser window size.

Location: Texas (on Chrome Version 33.0.1750.154 m),

===Black Hat===
[[File:umwelt_tortoise_1024.png]]
[[:File:umwelt_tortoise.png|Full size]]

An analyst attempts to psychoanalyze [[Black Hat|Black Hat's]] [[72: Classhole|classhole]] tendencies. The joke here is that the turtle has actually been turned over and neither sees helping it as a priority. It's a reference to the Voight-Kampff test used in the movie Blade Runner (1982) to identify replicants.

Location: Seems to appear mostly in "other countries" - those without location-specific comics.

===Too Quiet===
[[File:umwelt_too_quiet_1024.png]]
[[:File:umwelt_too_quiet.png|Full size]]

A reference to {{w|Jurassic Park (film)|Jurassic Park}} which has been [[87: Velociraptors|constantly]] [[135: Substitute|referred]] [[1110: Click and Drag|to]] [[155: Search History|before]] [[758: Raptor Fences|in]] this comic.

Also referencing the film {{w|2 Fast 2 Furious|2 Fast 2 Furious}}, an entertaining, yet intellectually unprovoking sequel in a popular film franchise, which is aimed at teenagers and young adults, prompting the blunt response from the stickman. The fact that Steve would use such a cliché {{w|2000s (decade)|noughties}} movie term in such an intense moment, and the subsequent curse, is the joke in this comic.

Location: short version - iPhone 5c Safari browser in Texas,

===Pond===
[[File:umwelt_pond_mobile.png]][[File:umwelt_pond_wide.png]]

Two different versions showed, the narrower version for mobile devices.

Location: unknown

===Galaxies===
[[File:umwelt_galaxies_1024.jpg]]
[[:File:umwelt_galaxies.jpg|Full size]]

Megan is distracted from her conversation with [[Cueball]] by realizing that the space behind his head, from her vantage point, contains millions of galaxies. This is similar to an [http://nssdc.gsfc.nasa.gov/image/astro/hst_deep_field.jpg incredible photograph] taken by the Hubble Telescope, in which a tiny dark area of space in fact contained numerous galaxies.

The title text is a imaginative leap from this scenario: that the galaxies would be up to no good once Cueball is turned away from them.

This comic was only reported once... the intended environmental context is a mystery.

Location: unknown

===xkcd Gold===
[[File:umwelt_xkcd_gold.png]]

This is probably a reference to the 4chan Gold Account, an implementation on 4chan that does not actually exist, and is usually used to trick newcomers into revealing their credit card numbers. The joke is that "Gold Account" users can supposedly block other users from viewing images they have posted. The fifth panel is probably a reference to Beecock, a notorious set of shocker images. 4chan's moderators have been known to give out "beecock bans" to particularly annoying users, which redirect the user to a page containing beecock and the text "OH NO THE BOARD IS GONE".

Referrer: 4chan

===Yo Mama===
[[File:umwelt_dog_ballast.png]]

Possible reference to Kurt Vonnegut Jr.'s "{{w|Harrison Bergeron}}."

Possibly a veiled criticism of Facebook. This could be slightly rewritten as: "This comic takes place in a dystopian future where the government is afraid of dissent, so it tracks everyone at all times, and some people privately doubt the government, but not enough to stop submitting information to Facebook. But that dystopian future is now."

Referrer: Facebook

===Reddit===
[[File:umwelt_reddit.png]]

Reference to referencing, because Reddit, as a referring site, likes references to its referencing in its references.

This comic also features recursive imagery similar to [[688:_Self-Description|Self Description]] where the second panel embeds the entire comic within itself.

Referrer: Reddit

===Buns and Hot dogs===
[[File:umwelt_somethingawful.jpg]]

This is a reference to the question "Why do hot dogs come in packages of 6 while buns come in packages of 8?"

Referrer: SomethingAwful, Questionable Content, & MetaFilter

===Twitter===
[[File:umwelt_twitter.jpg]]

Referrer: Twitter

===Wikipedia===
[[File:umwelt_wikipedia_wide.jpg]]
[[File:umwelt_wikipedia_mobile.png]]

The term {{w|Mile High Club}} (or MHC) is a slang term applied collectively to individuals who have sexual intercourse while on board an aircraft. Randall says that reading the news articles on it has distracted him from making that comic.

Two different versions showed, the narrower version for mobile devices.

Referrer: Wikipedia

===Google Chrome===
[[File:umwelt_chrome1.jpg]]

{{w|Sergey Brin}} (born August 21, 1973) is an American computer scientist and Internet entrepreneur who, with Larry Page, co-founded Google, one of the most profitable Internet companies. As of 2013, his personal wealth was estimated to be $24.4 billion. Randall makes the joke that as the founder of Google, Brin's permission would be needed to use Google Chrome. Because there are millions of people who use Google, it is likely that at least some of the time Brin would be asleep, thus he would need to be woken.

Browser: Chrome

===Chrome/Firefox===
[[File:umwelt_chrome2.png]]

Mozilla {{w|Firefox}} is a free and open-source web browser developed for Windows, OS X, and Linux, with a mobile version for Android, by the Mozilla Foundation and its subsidiary, the Mozilla Corporation. Cueball is complaining about {{w|Google Chrome}}, to which [[Ponytail]] replies that there is an {{w|add-on}} that fixes what he is complaining about. When questioned, she replies that the add-on is Firefox, which isn't an add-on at all and is instead a different browser.

Browser: Chrome

===Google Chrome-2===
[[File:umwelt_chrome3.png]]

This panel references Google Chrome's error screen, which shows a puzzle piece. The comic humorously implies that Chrome is looking for that piece. However, the piece in question cannot possibly line up with any corner.

Browser: Chrome

===Mozilla Firefox Private Browsing===
[[File:umwelt_firefox_incognito.png]]

Another reference to crashing web browsers.

Browser: Firefox (Incognito only?)

===Internet Explorer===
[[File:umwelt_ie.png]]

Yet another reference to crashing web browsers

Browser: Internet Explorer

===Maxthon===
[[File:umwelt_maxthon.png]]

Browser: Maxthon

===Netscape Navigator===
[[File:umwelt_netscape_womanoctopus.png]]

[[File:umwelt_netscape_man.png]]

Browser: Netscape

===Rockmelt===
[[File:umwelt_rockmelt.png]]

{{w|Rockmelt}} is a social-media-based browser.

Reference to the gospel song {{w|Longing for Old Virginia: Their Complete Victor Recordings (1934)|"There's no hiding place down here" by The Carter Family}}, later covered by Stephen Stills.

:I run to the rock just to hide my face
:And the rocks cried out, no hiding place
:There's no hiding place down here

It may additionally be a reference to the ''Babylon 5'' episode "And the Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place," which featured the song.

Browser: Rockmelt

===Plugin Disabled===
[[File:umwelt_plugin_disabled.png]]

Browser: Plugin (?) Disabled

===Corporate Networks===
[[File:umwelt_corporate_general.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_amazon_chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_amazon_firefox.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_amazon_other.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_google_chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_microsoft_chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_microsoft_firefox.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_microsoft_other.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_nytimes_chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_nytimes_other.png]]

ISP: Corporate networks of Amazon, Google, Microsoft, NY Times

===Military===
[[File:umwelt_military.png]]

ISP: Military networks

===T-Mobile===
[[File:umwelt_tmobile.png]]

Reference to T-Mobile's distinguishing feature of weaker coverage, in relation to other major providers.

ISP: T-Mobile

===Verizon and AT&T===
[[File:umwelt_verizon.png]]

[[File:umwelt_att.png]]

Reference to Verizon and AT&T's scandals/controversy regarding implementation of bandwidth caps.

ISP: Verizon and AT&T

===France===
[[File:umwelt_france.jpg]]

A Google search of "French Military Victories" + 'I'm feeling lucky' used to direct to "did you mean: french military defeats" (due to a {{w|Google bomb}}), referencing a stereotype of the French:[http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/victories.html][http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blpic-frenchmilitaryvictories.htm][http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljokefrenchmilitaryhistory.htm]

Locations: France & Quebec

===Germany===
[[File:umwelt_germany.png]]

This comic references the {{w|Berlin airlift#The start of the Berlin Airlift|Berlin Airlift}}, a relief measure for citizens in West Berlin (surrounded by East Germany) instituted by the Western Allies after World War II. In reality, the Western Allies flew a grand total of 500,000 tons of food over the Soviet blockade in planes. Randall puts a twist on this event by making it more fun: dropping supplies from a grand chairlift. The play on words is that "chairlift" rhymes with "airlift" and thus makes an easy substitution. The chair force is also a name that other service branches use to make fun of the air force.

Location: Germany

===Israel===
[[File:umwelt_israel.png]]

(Translation from Hebrew)

Person: Mom, I met a great guy! But he's not Jewish. ...Wait, what do you mean "neither are we"? I'm completely confused.

A reference to the multiple use of the word Jewish to denote both a religious group and a nationality.

Location: Israel

===Carnot Cycle===
[[File:umwelt_japan.png]]

A pun on "cycle"; a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carnot_cycle "Carnot Cycle"] is a thermodynamic cycle (e.g. refrigeration). Its efficiency depends on the temperature of the hot and cold 'reservoirs' in which it is operating.

Location: Japan

===UK===
[[File:umwelt_uk.jpg]]

He worded this as though to imply that the UK is a state of the U.S., and an unimportant one at that, which pokes fun at the UK, creating a paradox (sort of).

Location: UK

===Blizzard===
[[File:umwelt_disasters_blizzard.png]]

For each location this displayed in, the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: Alabama, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Georgia, Halifax, Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, the Northeast, Ohio, Oklahoma, Ottawa, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Texas, Toronto, Tennessee, New York, Wisconsin

===Tornado===
[[File:umwelt_disasters_tornado.png]]

For each location this displayed in the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: Alabama, Dallas, Illinois, The Midwest, Missouri, Ohio, Oklahoma, Ottawa, Tennessee, Texas

===Hurricane===
[[File:umwelt_disasters_hurricane.png]]

For each location this displayed in the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: D.C, Florida, Houston, Miami, New Jersey, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virgina

===Lake Diver Killer===
[[File:umwelt_lake_diver.png]]

Locations: Bay Areas

Location: Vermont showed an image specifically referencing Lake Champlain

===Lincoln Memorial===
[[File:umwelt_lincoln_memorial.png]]

Locations: Illinois & Washington D.C.

===Helicopter Hunting===
[[File:umwelt_helicoptor.png]]

In Alaska, governments and individuals have {{w|Wolf hunting#North America 2|shot wolves en masse from helicopters}} in an attempt to artificially inflate populations of game, such as moose and caribou, to make hunting them easier. This is opposed by many, as the game populations are not endangered (thus, this threatens ecological balance); wolves are a small threat to livestock in North America; most of the wolf body - including meat and bones - goes wasted as they are sought mainly for their pelts.

Location: Alaska

===Newspaper===
[[File:umwelt_life_scientists.png]][[File:umwelt_life_rit.png]][[File:umwelt_life_umass.png]]

Creating new life has long been a well understood process, in a lab or otherwise.

Location: Various

Specific versions appeared for RIT and UMass Amherst

===Robot Paul Revere===
[[File:umwelt_paul_revere.png]]

Combination of the legend of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Revere#.22Midnight_Ride.22 Paul Revere] and computer binary.

Location: Boston

===Counting Cards===

All four colleges in this series are in Massachusetts and, being similar, in pairs, rival each other to some extent (Harvard-MIT, and Smith-Wellesley). The comic contains a reference to the {{w|MIT Blackjack Team}}, which entered popular culture via the {{w|21 (2008 film)|film 21}}, and a possible reference to Orwell's book '1984' and/or {{w|Chain of Command (Star Trek: The Next Generation)|popular homage to it via Star Trek}}: "There are four lights."[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChYIm6MW39k]

Bonus: The thought-gears in panel 3 are spinning against each other.

Location: Harvard

[[File:umwelt_counting_cards_harvard.png]]

Location: MIT

[[File:umwelt_counting_cards_mit.png]]

"Course 15s" at MIT are the business major students, often mocked for taking a less-rigorous program.

Location: Smith

[[File:umwelt_counting_cards_smith.png]]

It looks like he forgot to draw the hair in the last three panels. Smith is an all-girls college.

Location: Wellesley

[[File:umwelt_counting_cards_wellesley.png]]

Wellesley is an all-girls college.

===Giant Box Trap===
[[File:umwelt_box_trap.png]]

Randall got his undergrad in Physics at the {{w|Christopher Newport University}}, and was scheduled to return shortly to give a talk.

Location: Christopher Newport University

===Chemo Support===
[[File:umwelt_chemo.jpg]]

Randall's now-wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, and apparently DFCI is where they've been spending much of their time.

Location: Dana-Farber Cancer Institute

==Transcript==
:[Note to courageous readers- The transcript has been reordered in the order in which the comics appear in the picture and appropriate names have been given.]

:'''The Void'''
:[An epic void with a bright light shining right on you.]

:'''Aurora'''
:[Cueball heading out past Megan comfortably sitting in front of a desk.]
:Cueball: Apparently there's a solar flare that's causing some Great Aurorae. CBC says they may even be visible here! Wanna drive out to see?
:Megan: Hockey's on.
:Cueball: Ok. Later.

:[An expansive, marvelous image of emerald green northern lights, floating down through the sky.]

:Megan: See anything?
:Cueball: No, just clouds.
:Megan: Not surprised.

:'''Aurora-US'''
:[Cueball heading out past Megan comfortably sitting in front of a desk.]
:Cueball: Apparently there's a solar storm causing northern lights over Canada. CNN say they might even be visible {Options: "As Far South As Us", "Here in Boston", "Maine", "Ohio", "Oregon", "New York"}! Wanna drive out to see?
:Megan: It's cold out.
:Cueball: Ok. Later.

:[An expansive, marvelous image of emerald green northern lights, floating down through the sky.]

:Megan: See anything?
:Cueball: No, just clouds.
:Megan: Not surprised.

:'''Snake'''
:[Two people standing next to each other. Megan is holding the head end of a snake. Depending on the width of your browser, the snake is: three frames, the third of which has a little bit of a bump; the first frame has a human-size bump, the second has a third person looking at the snake, and the third has the snake going though two Portals; a squirrel and the human-size bump in the first frame, a ring next to the third person in the second frame, and Beret Guy riding the snake in front of the portal; or The squirrel, a fourth person within the snake being coiled, and the human bump in the first frame, the ring, a fifth person in love, and the third person in the second frame, Beret Guy and the portal in the third frame, and the same two people in the fourth frame.]

:Megan: I found a snake, but then I forgot to stop.

:'''Black hat'''
:[Two people sitting at a desk. One is Black Hat. The other is an analyst. Black Hat has a number of terminals attached to his head.]
:Analyst: You come across a tortoise in the desert. You flip it over. It struggles to right itself. You watch. You're not helping. Why is that?

:Black Hat: It '''knows''' what it did.

:[View of the entire scene, with said turtle off in the distance on its back and trying to right itself.]

:'''Too quiet'''
:[A group of four scale down a wall into a field in the middle of the night. They walk off single-file.]
:Person 1: It's quiet.

:Person 3: Yeah - *Too* quiet.

:[A Velociraptor is off in the distance, following the group.]
:Person 4: Yeah - too *too* quiet.

:Person 2: Yeah - 2quiet2furious.
:Person 1: Fuck off, Steve.

:'''Pond'''
:[A landscape showing a pond, some reeds, and a set of mountains off in the distance.]

:'''Galaxies'''
:[A trio of galaxies.]
:Galaxy 1: He's not looking!
:Galaxy 3: Let's get him!
:[Lines draw in illustrating the eye-line of one of a pair of people.]
:Cueball: So he said he didn't get the text, but c'mon, he *never* misses texts. Right? ..hello?
:Megan: I'm just staring at your head freaked out by the fact that there are millions of galaxies *directly behind it*.

:'''xkcd Gold'''
:[Cueball holding bat.]

:Cueball: Sorry, but this comic

:[Cueball starts to wind up.]

:Cueball: requires

:[Cueball prepares to strike with bat.]

:Cueball: XKCD

:[Cueball swings at a beehive.]
:GOLD

:[Penis Bees fly out of the beehive.]

:'''Yo mamma'''
:[Cueball yells at a friend.]
:Cueball: Oh yeah? Well you mama's so ''cynical'', her only dog ballast is a ''leash''!
:(This comic takes place in a dystopian future where the government is afraid dogs can hover, so it requires them to wear weights at all times, and some people privately doubt the government, but not enough to stop buying dog weights.)

:'''Reddit'''
:Five seconds ago:
:[You sitting in front of a desk, reading a reddit thread.]
:You: Oh, hey, reddit has a link to some XKCD april fools comic.

:Now: [An image of the xkcd comic page.]
:Five seconds from now:

:You: ..hey

:30 seconds from now:
:[DANCE PARTY!]

:'''Buns and Hot dogs'''
:Cueball: What I wanna know is why do hot dogs come in packages of six while buns come in these huge sacks of ash and blood from which "Ave Maria" is faintly audible?
:[Chanting sacks of gore in the background.]

:'''Twitter'''
:[A Twitter account page with the following: Many tweets, fewer following, even fewer followers, A bunch of assholes in the suggested follow box, trending topics partitioned into: Word Games, Misogyny, and Bieber, stuff your eyes automatically ignore, A really pleasant blue. and the timeline: Something about a podcast, Someone confused because the description doesn't match the link, The link you clicked on to get to this comic, Rob Delaney, Passive Aggression, and horse ebooks.]

:'''Wikipedia'''
:[There's no comic here because instead of drawing one, I spent the last hour reading every news story cited in the Wikipedia article on The Mile High Club.]

:'''Google Chrome'''
:[A Chrome plugin error page.]
:Chrome: This plugin requires Sergey Brin's permission to run. Please wait while he is woken.

:'''Chrome/Firefox'''
:[Two people; Cueball is sitting at a desk in front of a laptop.]
:Cueball: Man, chrome's hardware acceleration really sucks.
:Ponytail: Oh - Theres' a great add-on that fixes it.
:Cueball: Oh? What's it called?
:Ponytail: "Firefox".

:'''Google Chrome-2'''
:[A Chrome plugin error page with the characteristic jigsaw piece.]
:Chrome: Chrome is looking for this piece. Have you seen it? Chrome thinks it links up with a corner.

:'''Mozilla Firefox Private Browsing'''
:[Firefox error page.]
:Firefox: Well, this is embarrassing. You know how I'm not supposed to peek at your browsing in private mode? Firefox.. is sorry. Firefox will not blame you if you
:[Button with text.]
:Click here to report this incident.

:'''Internet Explorer'''
:[IE error page.]
:IE: Error: Internet Explorer has given up.

:'''Maxthon'''
:Cueball: Maxthon? Hey, 2005 called. Didn't say anything. All I could hear was sobbing. This is getting harder. Anyway, yeah, Maxthon's still cool! Didn't know it was still around!

:'''Netscape Navigator'''
:[Two different versions exist: one with Cueball talking and one with Megan with tentacle arms talking.]
:Person: Netscape Navigator? Hey, the nineties called - drunk as usual. I hung up without saying anything. This is getting harder. Anyway - it's cool that you'e got netscape running.

:'''Rockmelt'''
:[Cueball running to laptop.]
:I ran to Rockmelt to hide my face

:[Cueball sitting at laptop.]
:But Rockmelt cried out -

:[Laptop shouting.]
:NO HIDING PLACE

:[zoom out.]
:NO HIDING PLACE DOWN HERE

:'''Google Chrome-3'''
:[A chrome plugin error page.]
:Chrome: There does not exist --nor could there '''ever''' exist-- a plugin capable of displaying this content.

:'''Microsoft/Amazon/The Times/Google - Chrome'''
:[Chrome error page.]
:Chrome: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run. Remember, Microsoft/Amazon/The Times/Google is a team; individual employees should ''never'' speak for the company without authorization.

:'''Microsoft/Amazon - Firefox'''
:[Firefox error page.]
:Error: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run. Remember, Microsoft/Amazon is a team; individual employees should ''never'' speak for the company without authorization.

:'''Microsoft/The Times'''
:[Error page.]
:Error: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run. Remember, Microsoft/The Times is a team; individual employees should ''never'' speak for the company without authorization.

:'''Corporate - Generic '''
:[Error page.]
:Error: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run. Remember, we work as a team; individual employees should ''never'' speak for the company without authorization.

:'''Military'''
:[Person looking at two browser windows.]
:Cueball: I know y'all know what you're doing. But if you're on a military machine and you're supposed to be watching for missiles or something, I hope you're keeping an eye on that in the background while you're reading comics. Also: Thanks.

:'''T-Mobile'''
:[Error page.]
:Data Error: T-Mobile was unable to establish a connection

:'''Verizon'''
:[Error page]
:Error: You have exceeded your Verizon monthly bandwidth cap. Mobile web browsing has been disabled.

:'''France'''
:[Two people; one of which is browsing using a laptop.]
:Cueball: Hey, you're French, right? Ever see what happens when you type "French Military Victories" into Google?
:French person: Does it take you to an article on Napoleon?

:French person: ..no? Strange, given how he kicked everyone's asses up and down Europe for over a decade.

:[Beat frame.]

:Cueball: Touche.
:French person: You know, that'd sound smarter if you didn't pronounce it like it rhymes with "douche".

:'''Germany'''
:[Cueball dropping food from an unorthodox high perch.]
:June 1948: In response to the Soviet blockade of East Germany, the western allies construct the Berlin Chairlift.
:Cueball on chairlift: Food!

:'''Israel'''
:[Person on phone.]
:Person (Translation from Hebrew): Mom, I met a great guy! But he's not Jewish. ...Wait, what do you mean "neither are we"? I'm completely confused.

:'''Carnot Cycle'''
:[Ponytail on a motorcycle with a heat-entropy graph on the side.]
:Ponytail: Check out my new Carnot Cycle!
:Cueball: Neat - how fast does it go?
:Ponytail: Depends how cold it is outside.

:'''Great Britain'''
:[Illustration of the Atlantic ocean.]
:American person: Sorry I don't have a comic poking fun at the UK here. I only had time to get to the most ''important'' US states.
:British person: Hey - At least we have free health care and real ale.

:'''Earthquake-Blizzard'''
:[Two people sitting at a desk, facing each other. The desk rattles.]
:Cueball: Stop jiggling your leg.
:Danish: I'm not ji-.. oh!
:Cueball: What!
:Danish: You'll get it..

:[EVERYTHING RUMBLES.]
:Cueball: ..HOLY CRAP IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!
:Danish: Just a little one. Happens all the time back in San Francisco.

:Cueball: But this is {Options: "Alabama", "Boston", "Chicago", "Dallas", "Georgia", "Halifax", "Illinois", "Michigan", "Minnesota", "Missouri", "the Northeast", "Ohio", "Oklahoma", "Ottawa", 'Pennsylvania", "Philadelphia", "Texas", "Toronto", "Tennessee", "New York", "Wisconsin"}! That was huge!
:Danish: Seriously? That's the worst this place can do? Wow. I guess we grow up tougher in California.
:Cueball: Oh ''really''...

:Six Months Later..
:[Both people are trudging through a massive blizzard.]
:Danish: In pictures, snow always looked so nice and sof - ''AAAA! MY NECK! How do people live here?!''
:Cueball: Come on - it's only three more miles.

:'''Earthquake-Tornado'''
:[Two people sitting at a desk, facing each other. The desk rattles.]
:Cueball: Stop jiggling your leg.
:Danish: I'm not ji-.. oh!
:Cueball: What!
:Danish: You'll get it..

:[EVERYTHING RUMBLES.]
:Cueball: ..HOLY CRAP IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!
:Danish: Just a little one. Happens all the time back in San Francisco.

:Cueball: But this is {Options: "Alabama", "Dallas", "Illinois", "The Midwest", "Missouri", "Ohio", "Oklahoma", "Ottawa", "Tennessee", "Texas"}!
:Cueball: That was huge!
:Danish: Seriously? That's the worst this place can do? Wow. I guess we grow up tougher in California.
:Cueball: Oh ''really''...

:Six Months Later..
:[Both people are in a shelter in a prairie with a rapidly-approaching tornado.]
:Danish: AAAA CLOSE THE SHELTER DOOR!
:Cueball: Say the magic words...
:Danish: THIS PLACE IS THE WORST!
:Cueball: Thank you.

:'''Earthquake-Hurricane'''
:[Two people sitting at a desk, facing each other. The desk rattles.]
:Cueball: Stop jiggling your leg.
:Danish: I'm not ji-.. oh!
:Cueball: What!
:Danish: You'll get it..

:[EVERYTHING RUMBLES.]
:Cueball: ..HOLY CRAP IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!
:Danish: Just a little one. Happens all the time back in San Francisco.

:Cueball: But this is {Options: "D.C", "Florida", "Houston", "Miami", "New Jersey", "North Carolina", "South Carolina", "Virgina"}! That was huge!
:Cueball: That was huge!
:Danish: Seriously? That's the worst this place can do? Wow. I guess we grow up tougher in California.
:Cueball: Oh ''really''...

:Six Months Later..

:[Both are in the middle of a hurricane. Danish is grabbing onto a signpost to avoid being swept away.]
:Danish: AAAAA WHAT THE SHIIIIT!
:Cueball: Calm down - this is barely a category 2.

:'''Lake Diver Killer'''
:[TV Field Reporter in front of a cordoned-off lake.]
:Reporter: Police divers searching the bay say they have recovered the body of another victim of the "Lake Diver Killer."
:Reporter: During the search, three more divers were reported missing.

:'''Washington'''
:[The statue of Abraham Lincoln in the Lincoln Memorial.]
:In this Marble Prison As in the nightmares of the nation they tried to devour
:The nanobots that constituted Abraham Lincoln
:Are entombed forever.

:'''Alaska'''
:[A person with a gun chasing a helicopter on the back of a wolf in a snowy Alaskan field.]
:Some people hunt wolves from helicopters. I hunt helicopters from a wolf.

:'''Life in lab'''
:[Newspaper headline.]
:Scientists/UMass Amherst students/RIT students create life in lab
:[Caption under picture of scientists.]
:"The trick was fuckin'"

:'''American Revolution'''
:Robot Paul Revere: Remember: Zero if by land, One if by sea.

:'''MIT'''
:[Two people in front of a group of students.]
:Cueball: I've hired a team of MIT students to count cards for us.
:Hairy: We'll be rich!

:[Hairy deals some cards while the students watch.]

:[The gears turn..]

:Student: Five. There are five cards.
:Cueball: I see their admission standards have been slipping.
:Hairy: Yeah - there are actually four.

:'''MIT Course 15c'''
:[Two people in front of a group of students.]
:Cueball: I've hired a team of MIT students to count cards for us.
:Hairy: We'll be rich!

:[Hairy deals some cards while the students watch.]

:[The gears turn..]

:Student: Five. There are five cards.
:Cueball: I *knew* we shouldn't have picked course 15s.
:Hairy: Yeah - there are actually four.

:'''Smith/Wellesley'''
:[Two people in front of a group of students.]
:Cueball: I've hired a team of Smith/Wellesley students to count cards for us.
:Hairy: We'll be rich!

:[Hairy deals some cards while the students watch.]

:[The gears turn..]

:Student: Five. There are five cards.
:Cueball: We should've gone with Wellesley/Smith.
:Hairy: Yeah - there are actually four.

:'''CNU'''
:[Person unsuspectingly strolls under a giant box trap controlled by a Trible.]
:I worry that CNU only invited me back as a ruse because they realized I never turned in my final paper and want my diploma back. But if it turns out it's for real, I'll see you Wednesday at the Ferguson!

:'''Dana Farber'''
:[Cueball, pointing towards head.]
:Cueball: Check it out - In support of people going through chemo, I shaved my head.
:Lots of love to everyone reading this at Dana Farber. Cancer sucks. If you are new to DCFI, there's a great little garden on the third floor of the yawkey if you need somewhere quiet to just sit for a little bit and breathe.

==Trivia==
*Reddit user [http://www.reddit.com/user/SomePostMan SomePostMan] created a [http://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/t6wmh/all_umwelt_1037_comics_in_two_imgur_albums/ post] that collected all of the Umwelt comics and added explanations. Much of his information is now included in this wiki.

*The transcript section for this comic also included a note alluding to its extreme length:
: [ [Two people...] ] ((..wait.. <scrolls through a listing of everything> oh goddammit Randall. Thanks a bunch, dude. I better get a raise for typing out all this))
: [Two people standing next to each other. One is holding the head end of a snake...

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:April fool's comics]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]
[[Category:Penis]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Velociraptors]]

1037: Umwelt

2014-04-11T17:17:06Z

Mattflaschen: /* France */ Google was not involved; it was what was a Google bomb

{{comic
| number = 1037
| date = April 1, 2012
| title = Umwelt
| image = umwelt_the_void.jpg
| titletext = Umwelt is the idea that because their senses pick up on different things, different animals in the same ecosystem actually live in very different worlds. Everything about you shapes the world you inhabit--from your ideology to your glasses prescription to your web browser.
}}
==Explanation==
{{Incomplete|Many of the strips are not explained}}
An {{w|Umwelt}}, as the title text explains, is the idea that ones entire way of thinking is dependent on their surroundings. Thus, this {{w|April Fools}} comic changes based on the browser, location, or referrer. Thus, what the viewer is viewing the comic on, where they live, or where they came from determines which comic they actually see. As a result, there are actually multiple comics that went up on April Fools' Day, although only one is seen.

Information about how the wide variety of data was collected and credit for the viewers who contributed can be found [http://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/rnst4/april_fools_xkcd_changing_comic/ here].

===The Void===
[[File:umwelt_the_void.jpg]]

If the device or browser you are using does not support Javascript, you will simply see a static image of a white swirl on a dark background.

Possible reference to The Ring (imgur.com/wlGmm), as though to suggest that using an alternative browser is dismal and horrific.

Davean (xkcd's sysadmin): "[This] comic isn't available everywhere and it can come up i[n] some situation[s] only for recognized browsers."

Browser: Alternative Browser

===Aurora===
[[File:umwelt_aurora.png]]

The joke here is either that Canadians, where the comic was shown, would regard the {{w|Aurora (astronomy)|Aurora Borealis}} as normal and thus, would not've seen the sight as particularly amazing, or that XKCD characters see in black and white and would not notice the colors.
Alternately, one could interpret that since Megan didn't go out and therefore missed seeing the Aurora, the main character lied. That way, she wouldn't have felt sad that she missed out.

This image changed based on the size of the browser window including different panels at different sizes.

Locations: Canada, Boston, Maine, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Minnesota, Norway

===Snake===
[[File:umwelt_snake_composite_1024.png]]
[[:File:umwelt_snake_composite.png|Full size]]

The joke here is the extreme length of snakes. The world's longest snake is the python, the longest ever being 33 feet or approx. 10 meters. The red and blue circles refer to the hit game {{w|Portal}}.
There is also a reference to the book "The Little Prince" in the second panel.

Also, the number and content of the panels changes depending on the size of your browser window.

This image changed based on the size of the browser window including different panels at different sizes.

Specific AltText for this image: Umwelt is the idea that because their senses pick up on different things, different animals in the same ecosystem actually live in very different worlds. Everything about you shapes the world you inhabit -from your ideology to your glasses prescription to your browser window size.

Location: Texas (on Chrome Version 33.0.1750.154 m),

===Black Hat===
[[File:umwelt_tortoise_1024.png]]
[[:File:umwelt_tortoise.png|Full size]]

An analyst attempts to psychoanalyze [[Black Hat|Black Hat's]] [[72: Classhole|classhole]] tendencies. The joke here is that the turtle has actually been turned over and neither sees helping it as a priority. It's a reference to the Voight-Kampff test used in the movie Blade Runner (1982) to identify replicants.

Location: Seems to appear mostly in "other countries" - those without location-specific comics.

===Too Quiet===
[[File:umwelt_too_quiet_1024.png]]
[[:File:umwelt_too_quiet.png|Full size]]

A reference to {{w|Jurassic Park (film)|Jurassic Park}} which has been [[87: Velociraptors|constantly]] [[135: Substitute|referred]] [[1110: Click and Drag|to]] [[155: Search History|before]] [[758: Raptor Fences|in]] this comic.

Also referencing the film {{w|2 Fast 2 Furious|2 Fast 2 Furious}}, an entertaining, yet intellectually unprovoking sequel in a popular film franchise, which is aimed at teenagers and young adults, prompting the blunt response from the stickman. The fact that Steve would use such a cliché {{w|2000s (decade)|noughties}} movie term in such an intense moment, and the subsequent curse, is the joke in this comic.

Location: short version - iPhone 5c Safari browser in Texas,

===Pond===
[[File:umwelt_pond_mobile.png]][[File:umwelt_pond_wide.png]]

Two different versions showed, the narrower version for mobile devices.

Location: unknown

===Galaxies===
[[File:umwelt_galaxies_1024.jpg]]
[[:File:umwelt_galaxies.jpg|Full size]]

Megan is distracted from her conversation with [[Cueball]] by realizing that the space behind his head, from her vantage point, contains millions of galaxies. This is similar to an [http://nssdc.gsfc.nasa.gov/image/astro/hst_deep_field.jpg incredible photograph] taken by the Hubble Telescope, in which a tiny dark area of space in fact contained numerous galaxies.

The title text is a imaginative leap from this scenario: that the galaxies would be up to no good once Cueball is turned away from them.

This comic was only reported once... the intended environmental context is a mystery.

Location: unknown

===xkcd Gold===
[[File:umwelt_xkcd_gold.png]]

This is probably a reference to the 4chan Gold Account, an implementation on 4chan that does not actually exist, and is usually used to trick newcomers into revealing their credit card numbers. The joke is that "Gold Account" users can supposedly block other users from viewing images they have posted. The fifth panel is probably a reference to Beecock, a notorious set of shocker images. 4chan's moderators have been known to give out "beecock bans" to particularly annoying users, which redirect the user to a page containing beecock and the text "OH NO THE BOARD IS GONE".

Referrer: 4chan

===Yo Mama===
[[File:umwelt_dog_ballast.png]]

Possible reference to Kurt Vonnegut Jr.'s "{{w|Harrison Bergeron}}."

Possibly a veiled criticism of Facebook. This could be slightly rewritten as: "This comic takes place in a dystopian future where the government is afraid of dissent, so it tracks everyone at all times, and some people privately doubt the government, but not enough to stop submitting information to Facebook. But that dystopian future is now."

Referrer: Facebook

===Reddit===
[[File:umwelt_reddit.png]]

Reference to referencing, because Reddit, as a referring site, likes references to its referencing in its references.

This comic also features recursive imagery similar to [[688:_Self-Description|Self Description]] where the second panel embeds the entire comic within itself.

Referrer: Reddit

===Buns and Hot dogs===
[[File:umwelt_somethingawful.jpg]]

This is a reference to the question "Why do hot dogs come in packages of 6 while buns come in packages of 8?"

Referrer: SomethingAwful, Questionable Content, & MetaFilter

===Twitter===
[[File:umwelt_twitter.jpg]]

Referrer: Twitter

===Wikipedia===
[[File:umwelt_wikipedia_wide.jpg]]
[[File:umwelt_wikipedia_mobile.png]]

The term {{w|Mile High Club}} (or MHC) is a slang term applied collectively to individuals who have sexual intercourse while on board an aircraft. Randall says that reading the news articles on it has distracted him from making that comic.

Two different versions showed, the narrower version for mobile devices.

Referrer: Wikipedia

===Google Chrome===
[[File:umwelt_chrome1.jpg]]

{{w|Sergey Brin}} (born August 21, 1973) is an American computer scientist and Internet entrepreneur who, with Larry Page, co-founded Google, one of the most profitable Internet companies. As of 2013, his personal wealth was estimated to be $24.4 billion. Randall makes the joke that as the founder of Google, Brin's permission would be needed to use Google Chrome. Because there are millions of people who use Google, it is likely that at least some of the time Brin would be asleep, thus he would need to be woken.

Browser: Chrome

===Chrome/Firefox===
[[File:umwelt_chrome2.png]]

Mozilla {{w|Firefox}} is a free and open-source web browser developed for Windows, OS X, and Linux, with a mobile version for Android, by the Mozilla Foundation and its subsidiary, the Mozilla Corporation. Cueball is complaining about {{w|Google Chrome}}, to which [[Ponytail]] replies that there is an {{w|add-on}} that fixes what he is complaining about. When questioned, she replies that the add-on is Firefox, which isn't an add-on at all and is instead a different browser.

Browser: Chrome

===Google Chrome-2===
[[File:umwelt_chrome3.png]]

This panel references Google Chrome's error screen, which shows a puzzle piece. The comic humorously implies that Chrome is looking for that piece. However, the piece in question cannot possibly line up with any corner.

Browser: Chrome

===Mozilla Firefox Private Browsing===
[[File:umwelt_firefox_incognito.png]]

Another reference to crashing web browsers.

Browser: Firefox (Incognito only?)

===Internet Explorer===
[[File:umwelt_ie.png]]

Yet another reference to crashing web browsers

Browser: Internet Explorer

===Maxthon===
[[File:umwelt_maxthon.png]]

Browser: Maxthon

===Netscape Navigator===
[[File:umwelt_netscape_womanoctopus.png]]

[[File:umwelt_netscape_man.png]]

Browser: Netscape

===Rockmelt===
[[File:umwelt_rockmelt.png]]

{{w|Rockmelt}} is a social-media-based browser.

Reference to the gospel song {{w|Longing for Old Virginia: Their Complete Victor Recordings (1934)|"There's no hiding place down here" by The Carter Family}}, later covered by Stephen Stills.

:I run to the rock just to hide my face
:And the rocks cried out, no hiding place
:There's no hiding place down here

It may additionally be a reference to the ''Babylon 5'' episode "And the Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place," which featured the song.

Browser: Rockmelt

===Plugin Disabled===
[[File:umwelt_plugin_disabled.png]]

Browser: Plugin (?) Disabled

===Corporate Networks===
[[File:umwelt_corporate_general.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_amazon_chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_amazon_firefox.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_amazon_other.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_google_chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_microsoft_chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_microsoft_firefox.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_microsoft_other.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_nytimes_chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt_corporate_nytimes_other.png]]

ISP: Corporate networks of Amazon, Google, Microsoft, NY Times

===Military===
[[File:umwelt_military.png]]

ISP: Military networks

===T-Mobile===
[[File:umwelt_tmobile.png]]

Reference to T-Mobile's distinguishing feature of weaker coverage, in relation to other major providers.

ISP: T-Mobile

===Verizon and AT&T===
[[File:umwelt_verizon.png]]

[[File:umwelt_att.png]]

Reference to Verizon and AT&T's scandals/controversy regarding implementation of bandwidth caps.

ISP: Verizon and AT&T

===France===
[[File:umwelt_france.jpg]]

A Google search of "French Military Victories" + 'I'm feeling lucky' used to direct to "did you mean French Military Failures?" (due to a {{w|Google bomb}}), referencing a stereotype of the French:[http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blpic-frenchmilitaryvictories.htm][http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljokefrenchmilitaryhistory.htm]

Locations: France & Quebec

===Germany===
[[File:umwelt_germany.png]]

This comic references the {{w|Berlin airlift#The start of the Berlin Airlift|Berlin Airlift}}, a relief measure for citizens in West Berlin (surrounded by East Germany) instituted by the Western Allies after World War II. In reality, the Western Allies flew a grand total of 500,000 tons of food over the Soviet blockade in planes. Randall puts a twist on this event by making it more fun: dropping supplies from a grand chairlift. The play on words is that "chairlift" rhymes with "airlift" and thus makes an easy substitution. The chair force is also a name that other service branches use to make fun of the air force.

Location: Germany

===Israel===
[[File:umwelt_israel.png]]

(Translation from Hebrew)

Person: Mom, I met a great guy! But he's not Jewish. ...Wait, what do you mean "neither are we"? I'm completely confused.

A reference to the multiple use of the word Jewish to denote both a religious group and a nationality.

Location: Israel

===Carnot Cycle===
[[File:umwelt_japan.png]]

A pun on "cycle"; a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carnot_cycle "Carnot Cycle"] is a thermodynamic cycle (e.g. refrigeration). Its efficiency depends on the temperature of the hot and cold 'reservoirs' in which it is operating.

Location: Japan

===UK===
[[File:umwelt_uk.jpg]]

He worded this as though to imply that the UK is a state of the U.S., and an unimportant one at that, which pokes fun at the UK, creating a paradox (sort of).

Location: UK

===Blizzard===
[[File:umwelt_disasters_blizzard.png]]

For each location this displayed in, the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: Alabama, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Georgia, Halifax, Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, the Northeast, Ohio, Oklahoma, Ottawa, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Texas, Toronto, Tennessee, New York, Wisconsin

===Tornado===
[[File:umwelt_disasters_tornado.png]]

For each location this displayed in the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: Alabama, Dallas, Illinois, The Midwest, Missouri, Ohio, Oklahoma, Ottawa, Tennessee, Texas

===Hurricane===
[[File:umwelt_disasters_hurricane.png]]

For each location this displayed in the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: D.C, Florida, Houston, Miami, New Jersey, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virgina

===Lake Diver Killer===
[[File:umwelt_lake_diver.png]]

Locations: Bay Areas

Location: Vermont showed an image specifically referencing Lake Champlain

===Lincoln Memorial===
[[File:umwelt_lincoln_memorial.png]]

Locations: Illinois & Washington D.C.

===Helicopter Hunting===
[[File:umwelt_helicoptor.png]]

In Alaska, governments and individuals have {{w|Wolf hunting#North America 2|shot wolves en masse from helicopters}} in an attempt to artificially inflate populations of game, such as moose and caribou, to make hunting them easier. This is opposed by many, as the game populations are not endangered (thus, this threatens ecological balance); wolves are a small threat to livestock in North America; most of the wolf body - including meat and bones - goes wasted as they are sought mainly for their pelts.

Location: Alaska

===Newspaper===
[[File:umwelt_life_scientists.png]][[File:umwelt_life_rit.png]][[File:umwelt_life_umass.png]]

Creating new life has long been a well understood process, in a lab or otherwise.

Location: Various

Specific versions appeared for RIT and UMass Amherst

===Robot Paul Revere===
[[File:umwelt_paul_revere.png]]

Combination of the legend of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Revere#.22Midnight_Ride.22 Paul Revere] and computer binary.

Location: Boston

===Counting Cards===

All four colleges in this series are in Massachusetts and, being similar, in pairs, rival each other to some extent (Harvard-MIT, and Smith-Wellesley). The comic contains a reference to the {{w|MIT Blackjack Team}}, which entered popular culture via the {{w|21 (2008 film)|film 21}}, and a possible reference to Orwell's book '1984' and/or {{w|Chain of Command (Star Trek: The Next Generation)|popular homage to it via Star Trek}}: "There are four lights."[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChYIm6MW39k]

Bonus: The thought-gears in panel 3 are spinning against each other.

Location: Harvard

[[File:umwelt_counting_cards_harvard.png]]

Location: MIT

[[File:umwelt_counting_cards_mit.png]]

"Course 15s" at MIT are the business major students, often mocked for taking a less-rigorous program.

Location: Smith

[[File:umwelt_counting_cards_smith.png]]

It looks like he forgot to draw the hair in the last three panels. Smith is an all-girls college.

Location: Wellesley

[[File:umwelt_counting_cards_wellesley.png]]

Wellesley is an all-girls college.

===Giant Box Trap===
[[File:umwelt_box_trap.png]]

Randall got his undergrad in Physics at the {{w|Christopher Newport University}}, and was scheduled to return shortly to give a talk.

Location: Christopher Newport University

===Chemo Support===
[[File:umwelt_chemo.jpg]]

Randall's now-wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, and apparently DFCI is where they've been spending much of their time.

Location: Dana-Farber Cancer Institute

==Transcript==
:[Note to courageous readers- The transcript has been reordered in the order in which the comics appear in the picture and appropriate names have been given.]

:'''The Void'''
:[An epic void with a bright light shining right on you.]

:'''Aurora'''
:[Cueball heading out past Megan comfortably sitting in front of a desk.]
:Cueball: Apparently there's a solar flare that's causing some Great Aurorae. CBC says they may even be visible here! Wanna drive out to see?
:Megan: Hockey's on.
:Cueball: Ok. Later.

:[An expansive, marvelous image of emerald green northern lights, floating down through the sky.]

:Megan: See anything?
:Cueball: No, just clouds.
:Megan: Not surprised.

:'''Aurora-US'''
:[Cueball heading out past Megan comfortably sitting in front of a desk.]
:Cueball: Apparently there's a solar storm causing northern lights over Canada. CNN say they might even be visible {Options: "As Far South As Us", "Here in Boston", "Maine", "Ohio", "Oregon", "New York"}! Wanna drive out to see?
:Megan: It's cold out.
:Cueball: Ok. Later.

:[An expansive, marvelous image of emerald green northern lights, floating down through the sky.]

:Megan: See anything?
:Cueball: No, just clouds.
:Megan: Not surprised.

:'''Snake'''
:[Two people standing next to each other. Megan is holding the head end of a snake. Depending on the width of your browser, the snake is: three frames, the third of which has a little bit of a bump; the first frame has a human-size bump, the second has a third person looking at the snake, and the third has the snake going though two Portals; a squirrel and the human-size bump in the first frame, a ring next to the third person in the second frame, and Beret Guy riding the snake in front of the portal; or The squirrel, a fourth person within the snake being coiled, and the human bump in the first frame, the ring, a fifth person in love, and the third person in the second frame, Beret Guy and the portal in the third frame, and the same two people in the fourth frame.]

:Megan: I found a snake, but then I forgot to stop.

:'''Black hat'''
:[Two people sitting at a desk. One is Black Hat. The other is an analyst. Black Hat has a number of terminals attached to his head.]
:Analyst: You come across a tortoise in the desert. You flip it over. It struggles to right itself. You watch. You're not helping. Why is that?

:Black Hat: It '''knows''' what it did.

:[View of the entire scene, with said turtle off in the distance on its back and trying to right itself.]

:'''Too quiet'''
:[A group of four scale down a wall into a field in the middle of the night. They walk off single-file.]
:Person 1: It's quiet.

:Person 3: Yeah - *Too* quiet.

:[A Velociraptor is off in the distance, following the group.]
:Person 4: Yeah - too *too* quiet.

:Person 2: Yeah - 2quiet2furious.
:Person 1: Fuck off, Steve.

:'''Pond'''
:[A landscape showing a pond, some reeds, and a set of mountains off in the distance.]

:'''Galaxies'''
:[A trio of galaxies.]
:Galaxy 1: He's not looking!
:Galaxy 3: Let's get him!
:[Lines draw in illustrating the eye-line of one of a pair of people.]
:Cueball: So he said he didn't get the text, but c'mon, he *never* misses texts. Right? ..hello?
:Megan: I'm just staring at your head freaked out by the fact that there are millions of galaxies *directly behind it*.

:'''xkcd Gold'''
:[Cueball holding bat.]

:Cueball: Sorry, but this comic

:[Cueball starts to wind up.]

:Cueball: requires

:[Cueball prepares to strike with bat.]

:Cueball: XKCD

:[Cueball swings at a beehive.]
:GOLD

:[Penis Bees fly out of the beehive.]

:'''Yo mamma'''
:[Cueball yells at a friend.]
:Cueball: Oh yeah? Well you mama's so ''cynical'', her only dog ballast is a ''leash''!
:(This comic takes place in a dystopian future where the government is afraid dogs can hover, so it requires them to wear weights at all times, and some people privately doubt the government, but not enough to stop buying dog weights.)

:'''Reddit'''
:Five seconds ago:
:[You sitting in front of a desk, reading a reddit thread.]
:You: Oh, hey, reddit has a link to some XKCD april fools comic.

:Now: [An image of the xkcd comic page.]
:Five seconds from now:

:You: ..hey

:30 seconds from now:
:[DANCE PARTY!]

:'''Buns and Hot dogs'''
:Cueball: What I wanna know is why do hot dogs come in packages of six while buns come in these huge sacks of ash and blood from which "Ave Maria" is faintly audible?
:[Chanting sacks of gore in the background.]

:'''Twitter'''
:[A Twitter account page with the following: Many tweets, fewer following, even fewer followers, A bunch of assholes in the suggested follow box, trending topics partitioned into: Word Games, Misogyny, and Bieber, stuff your eyes automatically ignore, A really pleasant blue. and the timeline: Something about a podcast, Someone confused because the description doesn't match the link, The link you clicked on to get to this comic, Rob Delaney, Passive Aggression, and horse ebooks.]

:'''Wikipedia'''
:[There's no comic here because instead of drawing one, I spent the last hour reading every news story cited in the Wikipedia article on The Mile High Club.]

:'''Google Chrome'''
:[A Chrome plugin error page.]
:Chrome: This plugin requires Sergey Brin's permission to run. Please wait while he is woken.

:'''Chrome/Firefox'''
:[Two people; Cueball is sitting at a desk in front of a laptop.]
:Cueball: Man, chrome's hardware acceleration really sucks.
:Ponytail: Oh - Theres' a great add-on that fixes it.
:Cueball: Oh? What's it called?
:Ponytail: "Firefox".

:'''Google Chrome-2'''
:[A Chrome plugin error page with the characteristic jigsaw piece.]
:Chrome: Chrome is looking for this piece. Have you seen it? Chrome thinks it links up with a corner.

:'''Mozilla Firefox Private Browsing'''
:[Firefox error page.]
:Firefox: Well, this is embarrassing. You know how I'm not supposed to peek at your browsing in private mode? Firefox.. is sorry. Firefox will not blame you if you
:[Button with text.]
:Click here to report this incident.

:'''Internet Explorer'''
:[IE error page.]
:IE: Error: Internet Explorer has given up.

:'''Maxthon'''
:Cueball: Maxthon? Hey, 2005 called. Didn't say anything. All I could hear was sobbing. This is getting harder. Anyway, yeah, Maxthon's still cool! Didn't know it was still around!

:'''Netscape Navigator'''
:[Two different versions exist: one with Cueball talking and one with Megan with tentacle arms talking.]
:Person: Netscape Navigator? Hey, the nineties called - drunk as usual. I hung up without saying anything. This is getting harder. Anyway - it's cool that you'e got netscape running.

:'''Rockmelt'''
:[Cueball running to laptop.]
:I ran to Rockmelt to hide my face

:[Cueball sitting at laptop.]
:But Rockmelt cried out -

:[Laptop shouting.]
:NO HIDING PLACE

:[zoom out.]
:NO HIDING PLACE DOWN HERE

:'''Google Chrome-3'''
:[A chrome plugin error page.]
:Chrome: There does not exist --nor could there '''ever''' exist-- a plugin capable of displaying this content.

:'''Microsoft/Amazon/The Times/Google - Chrome'''
:[Chrome error page.]
:Chrome: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run. Remember, Microsoft/Amazon/The Times/Google is a team; individual employees should ''never'' speak for the company without authorization.

:'''Microsoft/Amazon - Firefox'''
:[Firefox error page.]
:Error: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run. Remember, Microsoft/Amazon is a team; individual employees should ''never'' speak for the company without authorization.

:'''Microsoft/The Times'''
:[Error page.]
:Error: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run. Remember, Microsoft/The Times is a team; individual employees should ''never'' speak for the company without authorization.

:'''Corporate - Generic '''
:[Error page.]
:Error: This plugin requires clearance from the corporate press office in order to run. Remember, we work as a team; individual employees should ''never'' speak for the company without authorization.

:'''Military'''
:[Person looking at two browser windows.]
:Cueball: I know y'all know what you're doing. But if you're on a military machine and you're supposed to be watching for missiles or something, I hope you're keeping an eye on that in the background while you're reading comics. Also: Thanks.

:'''T-Mobile'''
:[Error page.]
:Data Error: T-Mobile was unable to establish a connection

:'''Verizon'''
:[Error page]
:Error: You have exceeded your Verizon monthly bandwidth cap. Mobile web browsing has been disabled.

:'''France'''
:[Two people; one of which is browsing using a laptop.]
:Cueball: Hey, you're French, right? Ever see what happens when you type "French Military Victories" into Google?
:French person: Does it take you to an article on Napoleon?

:French person: ..no? Strange, given how he kicked everyone's asses up and down Europe for over a decade.

:[Beat frame.]

:Cueball: Touche.
:French person: You know, that'd sound smarter if you didn't pronounce it like it rhymes with "douche".

:'''Germany'''
:[Cueball dropping food from an unorthodox high perch.]
:June 1948: In response to the Soviet blockade of East Germany, the western allies construct the Berlin Chairlift.
:Cueball on chairlift: Food!

:'''Israel'''
:[Person on phone.]
:Person (Translation from Hebrew): Mom, I met a great guy! But he's not Jewish. ...Wait, what do you mean "neither are we"? I'm completely confused.

:'''Carnot Cycle'''
:[Ponytail on a motorcycle with a heat-entropy graph on the side.]
:Ponytail: Check out my new Carnot Cycle!
:Cueball: Neat - how fast does it go?
:Ponytail: Depends how cold it is outside.

:'''Great Britain'''
:[Illustration of the Atlantic ocean.]
:American person: Sorry I don't have a comic poking fun at the UK here. I only had time to get to the most ''important'' US states.
:British person: Hey - At least we have free health care and real ale.

:'''Earthquake-Blizzard'''
:[Two people sitting at a desk, facing each other. The desk rattles.]
:Cueball: Stop jiggling your leg.
:Danish: I'm not ji-.. oh!
:Cueball: What!
:Danish: You'll get it..

:[EVERYTHING RUMBLES.]
:Cueball: ..HOLY CRAP IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!
:Danish: Just a little one. Happens all the time back in San Francisco.

:Cueball: But this is {Options: "Alabama", "Boston", "Chicago", "Dallas", "Georgia", "Halifax", "Illinois", "Michigan", "Minnesota", "Missouri", "the Northeast", "Ohio", "Oklahoma", "Ottawa", 'Pennsylvania", "Philadelphia", "Texas", "Toronto", "Tennessee", "New York", "Wisconsin"}! That was huge!
:Danish: Seriously? That's the worst this place can do? Wow. I guess we grow up tougher in California.
:Cueball: Oh ''really''...

:Six Months Later..
:[Both people are trudging through a massive blizzard.]
:Danish: In pictures, snow always looked so nice and sof - ''AAAA! MY NECK! How do people live here?!''
:Cueball: Come on - it's only three more miles.

:'''Earthquake-Tornado'''
:[Two people sitting at a desk, facing each other. The desk rattles.]
:Cueball: Stop jiggling your leg.
:Danish: I'm not ji-.. oh!
:Cueball: What!
:Danish: You'll get it..

:[EVERYTHING RUMBLES.]
:Cueball: ..HOLY CRAP IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!
:Danish: Just a little one. Happens all the time back in San Francisco.

:Cueball: But this is {Options: "Alabama", "Dallas", "Illinois", "The Midwest", "Missouri", "Ohio", "Oklahoma", "Ottawa", "Tennessee", "Texas"}!
:Cueball: That was huge!
:Danish: Seriously? That's the worst this place can do? Wow. I guess we grow up tougher in California.
:Cueball: Oh ''really''...

:Six Months Later..
:[Both people are in a shelter in a prairie with a rapidly-approaching tornado.]
:Danish: AAAA CLOSE THE SHELTER DOOR!
:Cueball: Say the magic words...
:Danish: THIS PLACE IS THE WORST!
:Cueball: Thank you.

:'''Earthquake-Hurricane'''
:[Two people sitting at a desk, facing each other. The desk rattles.]
:Cueball: Stop jiggling your leg.
:Danish: I'm not ji-.. oh!
:Cueball: What!
:Danish: You'll get it..

:[EVERYTHING RUMBLES.]
:Cueball: ..HOLY CRAP IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!
:Danish: Just a little one. Happens all the time back in San Francisco.

:Cueball: But this is {Options: "D.C", "Florida", "Houston", "Miami", "New Jersey", "North Carolina", "South Carolina", "Virgina"}! That was huge!
:Cueball: That was huge!
:Danish: Seriously? That's the worst this place can do? Wow. I guess we grow up tougher in California.
:Cueball: Oh ''really''...

:Six Months Later..

:[Both are in the middle of a hurricane. Danish is grabbing onto a signpost to avoid being swept away.]
:Danish: AAAAA WHAT THE SHIIIIT!
:Cueball: Calm down - this is barely a category 2.

:'''Lake Diver Killer'''
:[TV Field Reporter in front of a cordoned-off lake.]
:Reporter: Police divers searching the bay say they have recovered the body of another victim of the "Lake Diver Killer."
:Reporter: During the search, three more divers were reported missing.

:'''Washington'''
:[The statue of Abraham Lincoln in the Lincoln Memorial.]
:In this Marble Prison As in the nightmares of the nation they tried to devour
:The nanobots that constituted Abraham Lincoln
:Are entombed forever.

:'''Alaska'''
:[A person with a gun chasing a helicopter on the back of a wolf in a snowy Alaskan field.]
:Some people hunt wolves from helicopters. I hunt helicopters from a wolf.

:'''Life in lab'''
:[Newspaper headline.]
:Scientists/UMass Amherst students/RIT students create life in lab
:[Caption under picture of scientists.]
:"The trick was fuckin'"

:'''American Revolution'''
:Robot Paul Revere: Remember: Zero if by land, One if by sea.

:'''MIT'''
:[Two people in front of a group of students.]
:Cueball: I've hired a team of MIT students to count cards for us.
:Hairy: We'll be rich!

:[Hairy deals some cards while the students watch.]

:[The gears turn..]

:Student: Five. There are five cards.
:Cueball: I see their admission standards have been slipping.
:Hairy: Yeah - there are actually four.

:'''MIT Course 15c'''
:[Two people in front of a group of students.]
:Cueball: I've hired a team of MIT students to count cards for us.
:Hairy: We'll be rich!

:[Hairy deals some cards while the students watch.]

:[The gears turn..]

:Student: Five. There are five cards.
:Cueball: I *knew* we shouldn't have picked course 15s.
:Hairy: Yeah - there are actually four.

:'''Smith/Wellesley'''
:[Two people in front of a group of students.]
:Cueball: I've hired a team of Smith/Wellesley students to count cards for us.
:Hairy: We'll be rich!

:[Hairy deals some cards while the students watch.]

:[The gears turn..]

:Student: Five. There are five cards.
:Cueball: We should've gone with Wellesley/Smith.
:Hairy: Yeah - there are actually four.

:'''CNU'''
:[Person unsuspectingly strolls under a giant box trap controlled by a Trible.]
:I worry that CNU only invited me back as a ruse because they realized I never turned in my final paper and want my diploma back. But if it turns out it's for real, I'll see you Wednesday at the Ferguson!

:'''Dana Farber'''
:[Cueball, pointing towards head.]
:Cueball: Check it out - In support of people going through chemo, I shaved my head.
:Lots of love to everyone reading this at Dana Farber. Cancer sucks. If you are new to DCFI, there's a great little garden on the third floor of the yawkey if you need somewhere quiet to just sit for a little bit and breathe.

==Trivia==
*Reddit user [http://www.reddit.com/user/SomePostMan SomePostMan] created a [http://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/t6wmh/all_umwelt_1037_comics_in_two_imgur_albums/ post] that collected all of the Umwelt comics and added explanations. Much of his information is now included in this wiki.

*The transcript section for this comic also included a note alluding to its extreme length:
: [ [Two people...] ] ((..wait.. <scrolls through a listing of everything> oh goddammit Randall. Thanks a bunch, dude. I better get a raise for typing out all this))
: [Two people standing next to each other. One is holding the head end of a snake...

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:April fool's comics]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]
[[Category:Penis]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Velociraptors]]

1353: Heartbleed

2014-04-11T08:09:35Z

Mattflaschen: link to the next comic

{{comic
| number = 1353
| date = April 9, 2014
| title = Heartbleed
| image = heartbleed.png
| titletext = I looked at some of the data dumps from vulnerable sites, and it was ... bad. I saw emails, passwords, password hints. SSL keys and session cookies. Important servers brimming with visitor IPs. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion, c-beams glittering in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. I should probably patch OpenSSL.
}}

==Explanation==
{{Incomplete|The last picture is not explained i.e. the punch line. All of the explanation so far is concerned with Heartbleed and the title text.}}

The {{w|Heartbleed bug}} refers to a critical bug in the {{w|OpenSSL}} cryptographic library. This bug was publicly revealed on Monday, April 7th, 2014. Due to a programming error in OpenSSL versions 1.0.1 through 1.0.1f — meaning the bug had existed for two years — attackers could read random server memory by sending specially prepared HeartbeatRequest messages to an affected server.

OpenSSL is a very commonly used library to implement {{w|SSL/TLS}}, a cryptographic protocol not only used to secure web traffic but also for mail clients and much more. Only the user and the server can read the communication. On the the web the protocol is ''https://'' (HTTP Secure), instead of the open ''http://'' standard. SSL is often used to protect sensitive web traffic, such as login requests, which contains the user names and passwords in the requests. The server sends a certificate to the browser before the secure connection is established. If the certificate is registered the browser accepts it automatically, otherwise the the user gets a popup to accept or reject this insecure certificate.

A vulnerability that lets an attacker read random clumps of memory on the server would possibly let an attacker find recent username/password requests, allowing them to gain unauthorized access to user accounts. Even worse, this vulnerability could read the server's private key, enabling anyone to impersonate the server and/or decrypt any future traffic that relies on that key, and any previously-obtained prior traffic also, unless a "perfect forward secrecy" ciphers is used, which is currently rare. Furthermore, the Heartbleed exploit occurs during the handshake phase of setting up a connection, so no traces of it are logged, i.e. you can be attacked and never be the wiser.

More information is available at [http://heartbleed.com heartbleed.com] or under the reference [https://web.nvd.nist.gov/view/vuln/detail?vulnId=CVE-2014-0160 CVE-2014-0160 at nvd.nist.gov]

In the last panel, Megan interprets Cueball's question ("is '''everything''' compromised?") in its most literal meaning. She responds that, being a computer bug, Heartbleed can only affect information which is actually stored on computers. Cueball concludes that all information recorded in physical media, such as that written on paper or etched in clay tablets, is safe. Megan adds that the information stored in human minds is also unaffected by Heartbleed, for obvious reasons. Cueball thus asserts that human civilization will endure the Heartbleed bug, implicitly claiming (though possibly jokingly) that our society will endure even in the face of the destruction of all electronically stored information.

The title text cites the {{w|Tears in rain soliloquy}}, the dying words of the replicant and main antagonist Roy Batty (played by {{w|Rutger Hauer}}) in the 1982 film ''{{w|Blade Runner}}'', implying that the 64KiB HeartBleed buffer is so complete it includes memories from replicant brains. This is ironic as in the soliloquy, Roy Batty stated "All those moments will be lost in time".

The title text also suggests to patch OpenSSL oneself, which might refer to the patched version of OpenSSL by Debian, which turned out to be vulnerable in 2008, and was the topic of [[424: Security Holes]].

===Heartbleed===
In addition to the below, see [[1354|xkcd's explanation]] in the next comic.

[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transport_Layer_Security Transport Layer Security] (TLS), the successor to [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secure_Sockets_Layer SSL], is a protocol that provides end-to-end encryption for data transmitted over the internet, and is described in [http://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc5246 RFC 5246]. The Heartbeat extension to TLS introduced in 2012 (described in [https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc6520 RFC 6520]) provides a protocol for keeping an encrypted TLS session alive (preventing inactivity timeouts), so you do not have to do a costly TLS handshake with the server for subsequent transfer of information.

The Heartbeat protocol involves the client sending a packet with an arbitrary payload (often a random 16 to 32 byte number) that the server periodically sends back to the client to tell the client that the TLS session is still alive. When the client sends the packet to a vulnerable version of OpenSSL, the OpenSSL server reads a payload_size from the header sent by the client. This is a 2-byte number (0 to 0xffff=65535) that is supposed to describe the size of the payload. The OpenSSL library writes the payload to memory, but it does not check that the size of the payload written to memory matches the payload_size taken from the client's header. When the vulnerable server sends back the Heartbeat KeepAlive response to the client, it will readout payload_size number of bytes and send them back to the server. If you send a payload that is actually 16 bytes, but claims it is 0xffff bytes you will read the next 64KiB of memory of the vulnerable process starting from wherever the payload was written. An attacker can repeat this attack many times and can do this attack early in the TLS handshake, so the attack will not in any way be logged (unless they are logging every incoming packet which is not typical and would result in many passwords being logged). As private keys often have an identifiable format, it is often possible for an attacker to find the private TLS key, so if they eavesdrop on network traffic they can decrypt and/or alter it. For more detailed information see: [http://blog.cryptographyengineering.com/2014/04/attack-of-week-openssl-heartbleed.html 1], [http://security.stackexchange.com/a/55117/2568 2], [https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7549943 3].

It is worth noting that modern operating systems use a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtual_Memory#Usage virtual memory] abstraction above physical memory. This means every process can only access memory assigned to it, so it would be impossible for a vulnerable web server to read memory assigned to another process (like a text editor that has erotic fan fiction stored to memory) on the same computer. For more info, see: [http://security.stackexchange.com/a/55271/2568 4].

It also should be noted that this heartbleed bug only affects certain versions OpenSSH, and does not affect other TLS/SSH implementations, or OpenSSH which does not even use the TLS protocol, but uses the SSH-2 protocol (described in [http://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc4251 RFC 4251]). SSH is typically used for remote logins on unix and linux computers.

Vulnerable sysadmins need to update to a patched version of OpenSSL or one with the Heartbeats disabled. Unless their TLS keys were protected by hardware, they probably also need to revoke their old TLS keys, and generate new TLS keys.

Users of vulnerable systems should change their passwords after the sysadmins have revoked their old key and issued new ones (as their passwords may have been compromised). Users can check whether a given website is vulnerable via a [http://filippo.io/Heartbleed/ Heartbleed test also available as open source]. The [https://lastpass.com/heartbleed/ Lastpass heartbleed diagnostic] also indicates whether the signature on the TLS key predates the publication of the heartbleed vulnerability.

The [https://github.com/openssl/openssl/commit/bd6941cfaa31ee8a3f8661cb98227a5cbcc0f9f3 vulnerable commit] was introduced Dec 31st, 2011 by Robin Seggelmann, the first co-author of the heartbeats RFC, and went live when OpenSSL version 1.0.1 was released on 2012-03-14 and the vulnerability was widely announced 2014-04-07.

==Transcript==
:Megan: Heartbleed must be the worst web security lapse ever.
:Cueball: Worst so far. Give us time.

:Megan: I mean, this bug isn't just broken encryption.
:Megan: It lets website visitors make a server dispense random memory contents.

:Megan: It's not just keys. It's traffic data. Emails. Passwords. Erotic fanfiction.
:Cueball: Is '''''everything''''' compromised?

:Megan: Well, the attack is limited to data stored in computer memory.
:Cueball: So paper is safe. And clay tablets.
:Megan: Our imaginations, too.
:Cueball: See, we'll be fine.

{{comic discussion}}

1352: Cosmologist on a Tire Swing

2014-04-10T05:49:34Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ gm

{{comic
| number = 1352
| date = April 7, 2014
| title = Cosmologist on a Tire Swing
| image = cosmologist_on_a_tire_swing.png
| titletext = No matter how fast I swing, I can never travel outside this loop! Maybe space outside it doesn't exist! But I bet it does. This tire came from somewhere.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] and a curious child walk through a forest with many small holes or pools. The setting of trees interspersed with these many small pools resembles the {{w|Wood between the Worlds}}, a meta-verse described in C.S. Lewis's ''{{w|The Magician's Nephew}}''; each pool leads into a different universe — one of these is ours, another is {{w|Narnia}}, and the world of the {{w|White Witch}} is also visited through these pools.

The girl asks about the time before the {{w|Big Bang}}. Cueball says he thinks there was no time before — which is implied by most forms of the Big Bang theory. But then they happen upon a {{w|cosmologist}} on a swing who has several other theories about the universe...

Simply put, the tire swing is a symbolic representation of our universe. Scientific observations tell us that both space and time began with the Big Bang ~13.8 billion years ago. We don't know if there was such a thing as "before" the universe, or what that might be.

The first 6 panels reference ongoing speculation about where the universe came from and why it even exists in the first place. The last 2 panels relate to recent observations of the {{w|accelerating universe}} in which galaxies are now receding from each other at higher and higher speeds, due to {{w|dark energy}}.

The swing itself is likely a reference to the {{w|Cyclic Model}}, where the universe expands from a Big Bang, then contracts back in on itself under its own gravity for a {{w|Big Crunch}}, before bouncing outward again in another Big Bang, and repeating the whole process. On the other hand the swing is accelerating as the universe — so it may also be a reference to the entire universe. We are all "trapped" on this swing — and it's accelerating!

The title text references questions about the {{w|shape of the universe}} (which may as well be donut shaped like a tire) and what could lie "outside" of it. By definition, we can't see outside of the {{w|observable universe}}, but it's likely that the universe is bigger than the observable universe and uniform on large scale. Even though nobody can leave our own universe, the cosmologist [[Randall]] bets that such unknown worlds do exist.

==Transcript==
:Girl: What was before the big bang?
:Cueball: I think time began with the big bang. So it doesn't make sense to ask what came before it.
:Cosmologist (off panel): ''Look out''

:Cosmologist: ''WHEEEE'' Hi I'm a cosmologist on a tire swing!

:Cosmologist: We don't know whether time

:Cosmologist: started at the big bang.

:Cosmologist: It might have!

:Cosmologist: Or maybe not! We don't know!
:Cueball: Oh. OK!

:Girl: ...Your tire swing looks fun!
:Cosmologist: I can't stop!

:Girl: Won't the swing stop on its own?
:Cosmologist: I thought it would, but it seems to be accelerating.
:Girl: Cosmology sounds pretty confusing.
:Cosmologist: ''WHEEEEE!''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Science]]

825: Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)

2014-04-04T08:42:58Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ add Turkey part

{{comic
| number = 825
| date = November 25, 2010
| title = Guest Week: Jeffrey Rowland (Overcompensating)
| image = guest_week_jeffrey_rowland_overcompensating.png
| titletext = Guest comic by Jeffrey Rowland of Overcompensating/Wigu. Jeffrey is famous as the picture on the Wikipedia article on 'Necrosis'.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|There is more to it than what is below. In the transcript - why should it be Randall and not Black Hat? Also, needs explanation of Guest Week/links to other comics in Guest Week.}}
[[Black Hat]] (or perhaps [[Randall]]) is talking to {{w|Jeffrey Rowland}}, who writes the popular web comics Overcompensating (overcompensating.com/oc/index.php?comic=-1) and Wigu (wigucomics.com/adventures/index.php?comic=1)

This may be a reference to Scott Adams' {{w|God's Debris}}, in which a delivery guy has a long conversation about the nature of the universe with an old man. While often dealing with complex questions, the old man in the story presents arguments in a very straightforward way. Some have called some of the arguments in the book very clever and original, albeit overly simplistic. This comic could be a parody on that style of philosophy.

The title text is completely true: After a brown recluse spider bit him, {{w|Jeffrey Rowland|Rowland}} started experiencing cell death in his leg. Although the wound itself is benign, it still is featured in Wikipedia articles (such as {{w|Loxoscelism}}).

Traditionally, {{w|turkey (meat)|turkey}} is the main dish of the U.S. {{w|Thanksgiving (United States)|Thanksgiving}} holiday. Thus, the theory mentioned in the last panel is that {{w|Turkey (animal)|turkeys}} started the holiday in order to drive themselves to extinction. This is a reference to the {{w|Voluntary Human Extinction Movement}}.

==Transcript==
:[Jeffrey Rowland and Randall are sitting together, with a globe between them. Mr. Rowland has a drink with a small umbrella over it.]
:Jeffrey Rowland: But enough of my theories about Thanksgiving. The ''real'' reason we're here is to discuss my hypothesis that dark matter ''itself'' is what consciousness is made of...

:[The frame focuses on Jeffrey Rowland.]
:Jeffrey Rowland: Unobservable to anything that is itself conscious in much the same way the mail-man won't deliver your mail if you are watching the mail-box

:[Mr. Rowland raises his drink.]
:Jeffrey Rowland: Which brings us to my theory about ghosts-
:Randall Munroe: Wait did you just say Thanksgiving was invented by the ''Turkey Voluntary Extinction Movement?''
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Randall Munroe]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Guest Week]]

1345: Answers

2014-03-28T05:01:47Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ fm

{{comic
| number = 1345
| date = March 21, 2014
| title = Answers
| image = answers.png
| titletext = Stanford sleep researcher William Dement said that after 50 years of studying sleep, the only really solid explanation he knows for why we do it is 'because we get sleepy'.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] claims that humans are driven by their curiosity, which is never-ending. [[Megan]] responds by noting that everyone spends approximately eight hours per day in an unconscious state of {{w|sleep}}, but no one has yet pinned down the biological purpose of sleep. Despite this obvious mystery, most people aren't "losing sleep over it"... This implies that Cueball's observed curiosity has a perceptible and proximate limit.

This is not to suggest that scientists ''aren't'' researching sleep; scientists frequently conduct {{w|Sleep study|sleep studies}} — we just haven't found any satisfactory answers yet. Some popular hypotheses are to allow the brain a period to consolidate memories and to give the body a chance to repair itself.

The title text quotes {{w|William Dement}}: people sleep "because we get sleepy." ([http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2010/05/sleep/max-text Secrets of sleep]). This of course is dodging the underlying issue. That this non-explanation is the best answer that a leading sleep researcher can provide, shows how little anyone knows about the subject. This may be an oblique reference to the French playwright Moliere [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dormitive_principle dormitive principle], who created a satirical character who claimed to have discovered the answer to a popular question: The reason opium makes someone sleepy, said the character, a doctor, was that it contained a "dormitive principle" (i.e., something that makes someone sleepy).

At [[203|Hallucinations]], Randall expressed similar surprise at the lack of interest in the nature of sleep.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are talking.]
:Cueball: Humans are defined by our curiosity, our hunger for answers.
:Megan: We all spend a third of our lives lying down with our eyes closed and '''''NOBODY KNOWS WHY.'''''
:Cueball: Touché.

{{comic discussion}}

1054: The bacon

2014-02-20T05:50:30Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ fix link

{{comic
| number = 1054
| date = May 11, 2012
| title = The Bacon
| image = thebacon.png
| imagesize =
| titletext = Normally pronounced 'THEH-buh-kon', I assume.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic plays off the American {{w|colloquialism}} "bring home the bacon", which generally means to work hard and bring money home to your family to put food on the table.

[[White Hat]] seems to actually be saying "{{w|thebacon}}", and is thus calm because his wife gives him drugs. {{w|Vicodin}} is a very common painkiller, that can become a drug of abuse.

According to [[Wikipedia:thebacon]], [[Randall]] seems to be mistaken in (gasp) ''three'' places:
*The proper name is dihydrocode''inone'' enol acetate.
*It is a {{w|semisynthetic|''semi''synthetic}} {{w|opioid}}.
*The pronunciation is /ˈθiːbəkɒn/ (''thee''-buh-kon).

==Transcript==
:White Hat: I'm out of work, but I'm not stressed about it because my wife is a pharmacist and she brings home thebacon.
:Caption: Only later did I learn that "thebacon" is the common name for Dihydrocodeine Enol Acetate, a synthetic opioid similar to Vicodin.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

1328: Update

2014-02-14T08:05:02Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ rephrase parts; no reason to think software asks for a restart pointlessly, grammar and language fixes, more general about hardware/software interactions, rm example (not even a laptop)

{{comic
| number = 1328
| date = February 10, 2014
| title = Update
| image = update.png
| titletext = I have a bunch of things open right now.
}}

==Explanation==

When developers responsible for fixing errors on a specific {{w|Operating System|operating system}} release a patch, the operating system often ask users to restart the computer after installing. This is often done by popup window shown to the user where he can choose to restart immediately or choose to be reminded later.

Many messages from these popups emphasize the importance of installing the updates, but [[Cueball]] is just annoyed about this. Sometimes, these issues are minor and do not affect most computers using the operating system. Often other programs, not part of the operating system, ask for a reboot because the updated routine only runs after the next reboot. Regardless, reboots can take a long time — a typical user doesn't like this.

The user can choose to be reminded later multiple times. Because {{w|Reboot (computing)|rebooting}} a computer takes a significant amount of time and closes any programs running, a user may delay the update repeatedly to avoid interrupting what they were doing at the time. The comic proposes a scenario where the update is critical and of immediate importance, but the user wants to avoid the interruption or does not believe ''his'' laptop will catch on fire.

The joke uses an "exploding laptop battery" as an exaggeration for comedic effect. Most software doesn't affect hardware issues like burning {{w|Lithium-ion battery#Safety|laptop batteries}}. However, low-level software, such as the {{w|kernel (computing)|kernel}} or {{w|driver (software)|drivers}}, might cause hardware to misbehave.

The title text reflects the fact that the average user will have multiple applications open and a reboot would require closing them. They would then have to open all their applications again after the computer has restarted. This can also refer to a browser application having multiple tabs open. This is becoming less of an issue because browsers have an option to restart the last session again after being closed, as would happen with a reboot, but many users still don't trust it to work properly.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sits at a desk. A message is being displayed on Cueball's laptop screen.]
:'''Urgent''': Critical update available!

:[The message continues.]
:'''''Details''''': Fixes an issue that was causing random laptop electrical fires.

:(This update will require restarting your computer.)
:[Cueball clicks on ''Remind me later''.]
:''click''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Computers]]

1324: Weather

2014-02-03T16:05:37Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ some rephrasing, grammar

{{comic
| number = 1324
| date = January 31, 2014
| title = Weather
| image = weather.png
| titletext = At least if you're really into, like, Turkish archaeology, store clerks aren't like 'hey, how 'bout those Derinkuyu underground cities!' when they're trying to be polite.
}}
==Explanation==
Social norm accepts casual small-talk as an ice breaker for interaction — usually it is always safe to talk about the weather without hitting any disagreements as there are rarely any personal view points about the weather — in contrast small talk is never about political subjects or similar where chances are that there are strong personal view points.

In this strip [[Cueball]] is an expert in weather systems. When [[Hairy]] makes a comment about the weather, Cueball launches into a detailed technical discussion, not realizing Hairy is simply trying to make small-talk. Only weather experts would have this problem, as almost no other topic is suitable for opening a conversation in casual small-talk. Cueball switches to small-talk once he understands that Hairy is confused and didn't expect this level of technical information.

As to the jargon:
* {{w|Jet stream|Jet streams}} are strong air currents high in the atmosphere which have a big influence on the weather.
* 18z is 18:00 {{w|Coordinated Universal Time|UTC}} (6 PM in Greenwich, England, 10 AM in California). See {{w|ISO 8601}} at Wikipedia. The letter "Z" is used as 'Zulu' in the {{w|NATO phonetic alphabet}}, meaning just UTC.
* GFS is the {{w|Global Forecast System}} (also known as NCEP-GFS). It is a computer model used by the {{w|National Weather Service}} to predict the weather up to 16 days in advance. The model is run 4 times a day and the output is distinguished by the UTC hour it was started (18z in this case).
* Part of the prediction is the {{w|atmospheric pressure}} expressed in {{w|Bar (unit)|mbar}} (or mb). 960 mbar is very low pressure, which is usually associated with seriously bad weather (record low pressure for Minnesota was 963 mbar till 1998).

The title text mentions store clerks who are well known for small talk about the weather as part of their sales talk. But here the clerk instead makes small talk about {{w|Derinkuyu Underground City|Derinkuyu Underground Cities}}, one of the most well-known {{w|History of Turkey|archaeological sites in Turkey}}, in a country known for its many well-preserved ancient sites from a broad range of time periods. It would be very tempting for a Turkish archaeology geek to launch into a detailed conversation on the subject or related news -- however the subject is extremely unlikely as a topic for small-talk.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Hairy are talking.]
:Hairy: So, how 'bout this weather?
:Cueball: I ''know,'' right? The whole jet stream layer is ''nuts!''
:Hairy: Um, sure...
:Cueball: The 18z GFS forecasts 960mb by Tuesday. Think it'll verify?
:Hairy: What?
:Cueball: ...Right. Sorry. Uh, yeah! Weather sure has been crazy.

:Weather geeks have it tough.
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]

1322: Winter

2014-02-03T15:50:22Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ plant eggs could also refer to nuts

{{comic
| number = 1322
| date = January 27, 2014
| title = Winter
| image = winter.png
| titletext = Stay warm, little flappers, and find lots of plant eggs!
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This is not a propper explain.}}
[[Beret Guy]] and [[Cueball]] are walking. Beret Guy is making several remarks about the situation. The sky is blue or the air is cold, there is ice to walk on, and the birds are chirping in the trees. When making these observations, however, he does not use the conventional terms. Instead he uses word compounds, similar to "[[1133: Up Goer Five|Up Goer Five]]". When Cueball brings up Beret Guy's choice of vocabulary, he retorts by declaring that the name does not matter, as long as the things themselves are what they should be. This is the same concept that is communicated in the line from the Shakespearean play, "Romeo and Juliet": "What's in a name? That which we call {{w|A rose by any other name would smell as sweet|a rose/by any other name would smell as sweet}}." The concept is similar to that discussed by Richard Feynman as the difference between knowing the name of something and knowing something. <ref>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05WS0WN7zMQ| YouTube Video: R. P. Feynman on the difference between knowing the name of something and knowing something]</ref>

The title text further builds upon this idea.

;Dictionary

*The sky is cold: The sky is blue (a cold hue) or the air is cold
*floor water: puddle
*too hard to drink: frozen
*handcoats: mittens ''or'' gloves
*spacelight: sunlight
*flappy planes: birds
*beeping: chirping
*stick towers: trees
*little flappers: baby birds ''or'' small birds (as there are no baby birds in mid winter)
*plant eggs: nuts / seeds / berries

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Beret Guy, Cueball in a winter hat and Beret Guy in a beret, are walking through snow and across a patch of ice.]
:Beret Guy: The sky is cold and the floor water is too hard to drink.

:[Beret Guy looks upwards.]
:Beret Guy: But I have my handcoats and the spacelight is warm.

:[Beret Guy and Cueball continue on through woods; there are musical notes coming from the trees.]

:Beret Guy: Listen—the flappy planes are beeping in the stick towers.

:[Cueball pauses.]
:Cueball: Those are all the wrong words for those things.
:(Beret Guy replies from off panel.)
:Beret Guy: Maybe - but the things themselves are all right. So who cares?

:[Cueball continues walking, with sunlight and musical notes above.]

==References==
<references/>

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Language]]

1316: Inexplicable

2014-01-17T20:08:55Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ I don't think it's implied that she gives up immediately

{{comic
| number = 1316
| date = January 13, 2014
| title = Inexplicable
| image = inexplicable.png
| titletext = 'It has a ghost in it. Take it back.' 'No.'
}}

==Explanation==

[[Cueball]]'s laptop has a problem that has resisted many hours of concentrated effort at resolution. [[Megan]] offers to help, but she concludes that the laptop is haunted. Literally haunted, as in it is possessed by an evil spirit.

A similarly unresolvable problem can be seen in [[1084: Server Problem]]. In that case, no haunting is suggested, and Megan suggests Cueball wait for the Singularity.

The title text indicates that when Megan tries to return the laptop to Cueball, he simply refuses. She willingly took possession of it in the first place, and Cueball has clearly decided that he no longer wants anything to do with it. Megan is welcome to it. This would be extremely vexing to Megan, who presumably wants to own a haunted laptop no more than would anybody else.

The use of the word "ghost" may also be an allusion to the philosophical problem known as {{w|Ghost in the machine}}. This has been popularized through cyberpunk literature and movies, such as {{w|The Matrix}} and {{w|Ghost in the Shell}}. The question is whether machines are, or could be, conscious and have their own free will.

The comic may also be intended to remind us how non-technical users see computers and technology in general. Often a non-technical person will anthropomorphize a gadget, assigning it a personality with quirks. In this case, it happens to take the form of a ghost. When they have problems, they often give the device to a slightly more technical person to deal with it, which they may not be able to do. This failure could confirm (at least in the mind of the non-technical person) the personality of the device. Note that Cueball is not "non-technical", so this possible interpretation does not literally match the depicted scenario.

It should be noted that technical users often joke about sufficiently complex systems operating at the mercy of supernatural forces ({{w|SCSI|SCSI interface}} maintenance [http://www.staff.uni-mainz.de/neuffer/scsi/fun.html requiring goat sacrifices] being a popular past category). Encountering a machine that is literally possessed or cursed is a logical extension of this theme.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is frustrated at a laptop.]
:Cueball: ''ARGH!''
:Megan (off-screen): What?
:Cueball: Why do I always have these inexplicable, impossible-to-diagnose computer problems?

:[Megan walks towards Cueball.]
:Cueball: After six hours of this, I've concluded nothing works or makes sense. I give up on logic.
:Megan: *sigh* Gimme. I'll figure it out.
:Cueball: You won't.

:[The laptop is now off the desk, and Megan is offscreen again.]
:''type type''
:''click''
:?
:''type type''
:''type''
:???

:[Megan has returned, a closed laptop in hand.]
:Cueball: How'd it go?
:Megan: Your computer is literally haunted.
:Cueball: ''Told'' you.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Computers]]

1312: Haskell

2014-01-03T07:25:03Z

Mattflaschen: spl

{{comic
| number = 1312
| date = January 3, 2014
| title = Haskell
| image = haskell.png
| titletext = The problem with Haskell is that it's a language built on lazy evaluation and nobody's actually called for it.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic pokes fun at {{w|Haskell (programming language)|Haskell}}, a {{w|functional programming language}}. Functional programming languages are based on the mathematical concept of a function. Side effects are effects of a function other than returning a value. As a simple example, if a <code>sum</code> function prints the sum before returning it, that is a side effect. Real functions in most languages also have side effects, many of which are more complex, and sometimes hard to analyze. Functional programming languages seek to avoid side effects when possible. When side effects are required (for instance input and output), they are isolated to {{w|monad|monads}}, which are ways of representing sequential steps in functional programming.

The first joke is that Haskell only has no side effects merely because no one ever uses Haskell programs. Even in a traditional procedural programming language like {{w|C (programming language)|C}}, no side effects can occur if the program does not run.

The title text describes Haskell's {{w|lazy evaluation}}. The basic concept is that a value is not computed until it is actually used. Thus, it is possible to have a variable representing the entire infinite list of {{w|Fibonacci numbers}}. However, until a particular element of the list is accessed, no work is actually done. Thus, the joke is that while Haskell may have potential, no one has "called" it (referencing calling a function), so nothing has actually been done.

In reality, Haskell is actively used, but not one of the most used languages.

{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page.}}

==Transcript==
[Megan] Code written in Haskell is guaranteed to have no side effects. 
[Cueball] ... because no one will ever run it?
{{comic discussion}}

1312: Haskell

2014-01-03T05:48:47Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ explain title text

{{comic
| number = 1312
| date = January 3, 2014
| title = Haskell
| image = haskell.png
| titletext = The problem with Haskell is that it's a language built on lazy evaluation and nobody's actually called for it.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic pokes fun at {{w|Haskell (programming language)|Haskell}}, a {{w|functional programming language}}. Functional programming languages are based on the mathematical concept of a function. Side effects are effects of a function other than returning a value. As a simple example, if a <code>sum</code> function prints the sum before returning it, that is a side effect. Real functions in most languages also have side effects, many of which are more complex, and sometimes hard to analyze. Functional programming languages seek to avoid side effects when possible. When side effects are required (for instance input and output), they are isolated to {{w|monad|monads}}, which are ways of representing sequential steps in functional programming.

The first joke is that Haskell only has no side effects merely because no one ever uses Haskell programs. Even in a traditional procedural programming language like {{w|C (programming language)|C}}, no side effects can occur if the program does not run.

The title text describes Haskell's {{w|lazy evaluation}}. The basic concept is that a value is not computed until is is actually used. Thus, it is possible to have a variable representing the entire infinite list of {{w|Fibanocci numbers}}. However, until a particular element of the list is accessed, no work is actually done. Thus, the joke is that while Haskell may have potential, no one has "called" it (referencing calling a function), so nothing has actually been done.

In reality, Haskell is actively used, but not one of the most used languages.

{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page.}}

==Transcript==
[Megan] Code written in Haskell is guaranteed to have no side effects. 
[Cueball] ... because no one will ever run it?
{{comic discussion}}

1312: Haskell

2014-01-03T05:41:59Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ start explaining first part

1310: Goldbach Conjectures

2013-12-30T06:15:06Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ rm caps for consistency

{{comic
| number = 1310
| date = December 30, 2013
| title = Goldbach Conjectures
| image = goldbach_conjectures.png
| titletext = The weak twin primes conjecture states that there are infinitely many pairs of primes. The strong twin primes conjecture states that every prime p has a twin prime (p+2), although (p+2) may not look prime at first. The tautological prime conjecture states that the tautological prime conjecture is true.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT}}

[[Wikipedia:Goldbach's conjecture|Goldbach's conjecture]], [[Wikipedia:Goldbach's weak conjecture|Goldbach's weak conjecture]], and the [[Wikipedia:Twin prime conjecture|twin prime conjecture]] are unsolved problems in mathematics relating to prime numbers, or numbers whose only factors are 1 and itself.

A "strong" conjecture is typically a more restrictive form of the corresponding "weak" conjecture, with the "strong" conjecture typically implying the "weak" one, but not vice versa. For example, Goldbach's strong conjecture would imply Goldbach's weak conjecture, because any odd number greater than 5 can be expressed as 3 plus an even number greater than 2, which would itself be expressed as the sum of two prime numbers, resulting in a way to express the original odd number as the sum of three prime numbers (the two prime numbers that sum to the even number, and 3). The weak conjecture does not, however, imply the strong conjecture. This comic plays on the "strong" and "weak" naming of Goldbach's conjectures by extending it beyond the two famous ones to further degrees of strength or weakness.

Goldbach's weak conjecture has been claimed to have been proven true, while Goldbach's strong conjecture remains unsolved. The two even weaker "conjectures" are obviously true, with the "extremely weak" conjecture not making a formal mathematical statement at all. The two strongest "conjectures" are so strong that they are obviously false.

The title text refers to the twin prime conjecture, which states that there are an infinite number of pairs of primes that differ by 2.

Randall's weak twin prime conjecture states that there are an infinite number of pairs of primes. This is clearly true. Per {{w|Euclid's theorem}}, there are an infinite number of primes. Unlike the actual twin prime conjecture (which specifies a distance of two), this conjecture does not specify a required distance. Thus, any pair from the infinite set of primes suffices. An example is 5 and 13.

His strong twin prime conjecture states that every prime is 2 less than another prime (although it might not look like a prime at first). An obvious counter-example is 7 and 9. 9 "might not look like a prime".

The tautological prime conjecture states that it itself is true, while making no statement about primes. It is not, despite its name, a tautology. An example of a tautology would be "all primes are prime".

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}
;Extremely weak
:Numbers just ''keep going''
;Very weak
:Every number greater than 7 is the sum of two other numbers
;Weak
:Every odd number greater than 5 is the sum of three primes
;Strong
:Every even number greater than 2 is the sum of two primes
;Very strong
:Every odd number is prime
;Extremely strong
:There are no numbers above 7

{{comic discussion}}

1310: Goldbach Conjectures

2013-12-30T06:13:55Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ explain in more detail

{{comic
| number = 1310
| date = December 30, 2013
| title = Goldbach Conjectures
| image = goldbach_conjectures.png
| titletext = The weak twin primes conjecture states that there are infinitely many pairs of primes. The strong twin primes conjecture states that every prime p has a twin prime (p+2), although (p+2) may not look prime at first. The tautological prime conjecture states that the tautological prime conjecture is true.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT}}

[[Wikipedia:Goldbach's conjecture|Goldbach's conjecture]], [[Wikipedia:Goldbach's weak conjecture|Goldbach's weak conjecture]], and the [[Wikipedia:Twin prime conjecture|Twin prime conjecture]] are unsolved problems in mathematics relating to prime numbers, or numbers whose only factors are 1 and itself.

A "strong" conjecture is typically a more restrictive form of the corresponding "weak" conjecture, with the "strong" conjecture typically implying the "weak" one, but not vice versa. For example, Goldbach's strong conjecture would imply Goldbach's weak conjecture, because any odd number greater than 5 can be expressed as 3 plus an even number greater than 2, which would itself be expressed as the sum of two prime numbers, resulting in a way to express the original odd number as the sum of three prime numbers (the two prime numbers that sum to the even number, and 3). The weak conjecture does not, however, imply the strong conjecture. This comic plays on the "strong" and "weak" naming of Goldbach's conjectures by extending it beyond the two famous ones to further degrees of strength or weakness.

Goldbach's weak conjecture has been claimed to have been proven true, while Goldbach's strong conjecture remains unsolved. The two even weaker "conjectures" are obviously true, with the "extremely weak" conjecture not making a formal mathematical statement at all. The two strongest "conjectures" are so strong that they are obviously false.

The title text refers to the twin prime conjecture, which states that there are an infinite number of pairs of primes that differ by 2.

Randall's weak twin prime conjecture states that there are an infinite number of pairs of primes. This is clearly true. Per {{w|Euclid's theorem}}, there are an infinite number of primes. Unlike the actual twin prime conjecture (which specifies a distance of two), this conjecture does not specify a required distance. Thus, any pair from the infinite set of primes suffices. An example is 5 and 13.

His strong twin prime conjecture states that every prime is 2 less than another prime (although it might not look like a prime at first). An obvious counter-example is 7 and 9. 9 "might not look like a prime".

The tautological prime conjecture states that it itself is true, while making no statement about primes. It is not, despite its name, a tautology. An example of a tautology would be "all primes are prime".

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}
;Extremely weak
:Numbers just ''keep going''
;Very weak
:Every number greater than 7 is the sum of two other numbers
;Weak
:Every odd number greater than 5 is the sum of three primes
;Strong
:Every even number greater than 2 is the sum of two primes
;Very strong
:Every odd number is prime
;Extremely strong
:There are no numbers above 7

{{comic discussion}}

1295: New Study

2013-11-27T05:29:47Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ the title text explanation doesn't fit the text (doesn't address the "again" part); adding a different explanation

{{comic
| number = 1295
| date = November 25, 2013
| title = New Study
| image = new_study.png
| titletext = When the results are published, no one will be sure whether to report on them again.
}}

==Explanation==
This is another of Randall's jabs at modern news networks.

Some examples of how true this can be:

* A July 2011 hoax study correlated {{w|Intelligence Quotient (IQ) and Browser Usage}}, specifically asserting that Microsoft Internet Explorer users had a significantly lower I.Q. than other users. The study was reported by over 30 news outlets including NPR, ''Forbes'', CBS News, ''San Francisco Chronicle'', ''The Inquirer'', and ''CNN''. The perpetrator made little effort to conceal the deception by publishing it on a freshly created domain name with a parking lot as the corporate address, and was surprised that so many reputable outlets did no fact checking.
* [http://eldeforma.com/2012/08/27/samsung-paga-multa-de-1-billon-de-dolares-a-apple-en-monedas-de-5-centavos/#axzz2lfjwKjjt Samsung pays $1bn USD fine to Apple with 20 billion 5 cent coins]: widely reported on news networks in November 2013
* Even many low-tier scientific journals don't do proper checking. Over a hundred of them accepted a fake, error-ridden cancer study for publication in a spoof organized by Science magazine, as reported by National Geographic: [http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2013/10/131003-bohannon-science-spoof-open-access-peer-review-cancer/ Fake Cancer Study Spotlights Bogus Science Journals].

The title text refers to an issue with publication timing. Sometimes, scientists (or their press departments) issue press releases about studies before they are published in a peer-reviewed journal. News organizations often publish stories based on the press release, even though the full details are not available. In some cases, another story (or an update) is also published when the journal article comes out. However, some readers may find this duplicative.

Related jokes:

* "87% of statistics are made up on the spot" (which is itself completely fictitious). This joke has most famously been referenced by the [http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2008-05-08/ May 8, 2008 Dilbert comic strip].
* "64 percent of all the world's statistics are made up right there on the spot, 82.4 percent of people believe 'em whether they're accurate statistics or not" - Statistician's Blues, by Todd Snider ([http://www.cowboylyrics.com/tabs/snider-todd/statistician-blues-10809.html lyrics]; [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUK6zjtUj00 video]).
* 83% is the made-up statistics number that {{w|How I Met Your Mother}} character {{w|Barney Stinson}} uses to charm ladies.

Side note: People making the substitutions in [[1288: Substitutions|a comic posted two weeks before this one]] will read this comic as one about {{w|Tumblr}} posts.

==Transcript==
:Reporter: ...And in science news, according to a new study, 85% of news organizations repeat "new study" press releases without checking whether they're real.
{{comic discussion}}

1285: Third Way

2013-11-01T07:01:00Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ link past examples

{{comic
| number = 1285
| date = November 1, 2013
| title = Third Way
| image = third way.png
| titletext = 'The monospaced-typewriter-font story is a COMPLETE FABRICATION!  WAKE UP, SHEEPLE' 'It doesn't matter! Studies support single spaces!' 'Those results weren't statistically significant!' 'Fine, you win. I'm using double spaces right now!' 'Are not!  We can all hear your stupid whitespace.'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete}}
This comic refers to the debate about the {{w|Sentence spacing|correct number of spaces after the end of a sentence}}.

While text written on typewriters traditionally had two spaces between sentences, this is becoming less common and many sources now recommend having only one space, although this topic is still {{w|Sentence spacing#Controversy|controversial}}.

[[Cueball]] is advocating a line break after every sentence, the titular "third way", which would be very awkward.

Unsurprisingly, his approach has not caught on.

Except on this page...

The tooltip text uses single spaces between the back-and-forth quotations; but within each quotation, the quoted speaker's preferred spacing is used.
In particular, when the single-spacing advocate claims to be using double spacing, this is indeed a lie.
(You have to look at the page HTML to see this, since a single space and a double space render identically.)

This is not the first time Randall has proposed a [[690|controversial]] [[1167|third way]].

==Transcript==
:[Two angry mobs, each holding signs, with Cueball standing off to the side with another sign. The first mob's sign says "'''Two''' spaces after a period," The second mob's sign says "'''One''' space after a period," and Cueball's sign says "Line break after every sentence."]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Sheeple]]

1282: Monty Hall

2013-10-25T04:59:49Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ break up, tweak slightly

{{comic
| number = 1282
| date = October 25, 2013
| title = Monty Hall
| image = monty hall.png
| titletext = A few minutes later, the goat from behind door C drives away in the car.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete}}
This comic is a reference to the famous {{w|Monty Hall Problem}}, a probability puzzle that involves three doors. Behind two doors is a goat, and behind one of them is a car. The player does not know which is behind which door; the host does know. First, the player picks a door. Next, the host opens a different door, knowing it will reveal a goat. He then asks whether the contestant would like to stick with their original decision or switch. Intuitively, most people believe that it does not matter. In reality, those who switch win 2/3rds of the time and those who do not switch win only 1/3rd of the time.

The problem assumes that the player wants the car. Rather than make a second choice, Beret Guy decides that he just wants to have the goat and be happy with it.

The title text is a reference to the car and the remaining goat, untouched behind the doors.

Monty Hall was the host of a US game show called '{{w|Let's Make a Deal}}'. The final deal required the contestant to pick from three doors, Door #1, Door #2, or Door #3. The big prize was not always a car.

==Transcript==
:[A game show presenter is standing in front of three doors labeled "A", "B" and "C", and the "B" door is open. Beret Guy is walking away with a goat.]
:Beret Guy: ...And my yard has so much grass, and I'll teach you tricks, and...

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]

1282: Monty Hall

2013-10-25T04:55:28Z

Mattflaschen: /* Explanation */ put Beret Guy's name back, note assumption, tweak

{{comic
| number = 1282
| date = October 25, 2013
| title = Monty Hall
| image = monty hall.png
| titletext = A few minutes later, the goat from behind door C drives away in the car.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete}}
This comic is a reference to the famous {{w|Monty Hall Problem}}, a probability puzzle that involves three doors. Behind two doors is a goat, and behind one of them is a car. The player does not know which is behind which door; the host does know. After the player picks a door the host will then open different door which always has a goat and asks the contestant if they want to stick to their original decision or switch. While the intuitive answer may be that it does not matter the reality is that those who switch win 2/3rds of the time and those who do not win only 1/3rd of the time.

The problem assumes that the player wants the car. Rather than make a second choice, Beret Guy decides that he just wants to have the goat and be happy with it.

The title text is a reference to the car and the remaining goat, untouched behind the doors.

Monty Hall was the host of a US game show called '{{w|Let's Make a Deal}}'. The final deal required the contestant to pick from three doors, Door #1, Door #2, or Door #3. The big prize was not always a car.

==Transcript==
:[A game show presenter is standing in front of three doors labeled "A", "B" and "C", and the "B" door is open. Beret Guy is walking away with a goat.]
:Beret Guy: ...And my yard has so much grass, and I'll teach you tricks, and...

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]