explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

User talk:Mikemk

2021-05-18T18:53:36Z

Mikemk: forgot to login before posting

Are you a turtle though? [[User:Donthaveusername|Donthaveusername]] ([[User talk:Donthaveusername|talk]]) 23:57, 9 October 2020 (UTC)
:I'd quite like to know the answer to that -[[User:Char Latte49|Char Latte49]] ([[User talk:Char Latte49|talk]]) 15:49, 18 May 2021 (UTC)
::[[User:Mikemk|Here's an answer]] [[User:Mikemk|Mikemk]] ([[User talk:Mikemk|talk]]) 18:53, 18 May 2021 (UTC)

Talk:2447: Hammer Incident

2021-04-08T17:26:41Z

Mikemk: /* inspiration */

big --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.187.153|162.158.187.153]] 02:04, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

I added a basic explanation. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.212.224|162.158.212.224]] 02:28, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

Do we really need a huge paragraph explaining all the reasons why any damage to a space telescope is a big, expensive deal? And I'm not sure this is a trial, it's probably more like an administrative panel hearing (like the hearings after the Challenger disaster). [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 14:26, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

== Giant comic ==

Is it meant to be that size? Does the bad luck apply to trying to upload comics at reasonable sizes?
: It's fixed now
[[Special:Contributions/172.69.33.19|172.69.33.19]] 02:09, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:Oooh boy, indeed... "Error creating thumbnail: File with dimensions greater than 12.5 MP" is the Wiki's assessment of the auto-uploaded image. I haven't checked the resolution, but the https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hammer_incident.png one is apparently 4332x4838 (scales to 8% on my device), and I don't care to test the _2x version right now. I'm not sure that was the native res of it on creation, looks to be an accidental up-scaling prior to posting to xkcd itself. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.6|141.101.98.6]] 02:20, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:
::The _2x version is actually the proper size for a normal comic - 578x645 pixels. [[User:Noëlle|Noëlle]] ([[User talk:Noëlle|talk]]) 02:21, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:::Still seems larger than normal to me, even the 2x seems larger than I would expect. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.34.78|172.69.34.78]] 04:02, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:Maybe the extra-large image is what the original looks like using the James Webb telescope? Maybe over-thinking. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.132.145|172.68.132.145]] 04:19, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
::Or perhaps its an resolution/aspect ratio/zoom factor difference between it and the old telescope. Implying all other comics have secretly been placed in front of the other telescope [[Special:Contributions/172.69.170.50|172.69.170.50]] 04:56, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:Perhaps overthinking, if the main reflecting mirror was actually destroyed, the light entering the telescope would never be focused into the secondary mirror and the image would be "light size" so you would only be able to see a small portion of what you expect

:It looks to me that, while most of the text is rendered smoothly in full resolution, the caption below the panel ("Man, NASA is really on my case about the James Webb Space Telescope.") is very jaggy on a pixel level, but only on the Y-axis. There could be quite a bit of information in there. No idea what it means, though. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.77.36|141.101.77.36]] 07:29, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
::It could be floating-point errors that indicate the code flow of the renderer Randall used. Or it could mean anything else. Curious to compare it to a correct rendering of that text with the same font, but wouldn't know what to do with the vector of edge differences myself. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.63.140|162.158.63.140]] 09:03, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

:It seems to be fixed now so I am sure it was an accident
:Randall has now uploaded an even smaller resolution image of 289 × 323 ([https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hammer_incident.png]), and I have added it to this comic explanation. [[User:Natg19|Natg19]] ([[User talk:Natg19|talk]]) 17:15, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

== inspiration ==

When I read this comic I was worried it might have been inspired by recent news of something breaking during the final assembly process. Fortunately this seems not to be the case. Among the many delays of the telescope, were any of them caused by mirror and/or cryo failures that might have inspired this comic? [[User:Quantum7|Quantum7]] ([[User talk:Quantum7|talk]]) 05:53, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:What caused the most recent delay? It seems it's been pushed forward more as Randall predicted in the other comic. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.63.140|162.158.63.140]] 09:03, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:I'm guessing that it was the recent announcement of the planned science for the first year of operation. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.21|162.158.74.21]] 16:48, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:I was also worried and figured explainxkcd would tell if there had been any real issues. [[User:Mikemk|Mikemk]] ([[User talk:Mikemk|talk]]) 17:26, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

== Cryogenic? ==

I get the sense that the title text is inspired by liquid nitrogen ice cream. -- [[Special:Contributions/108.162.237.252|108.162.237.252]] 13:14, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

== Actual hammering applied to JWST ==

As Quantum7, I was worried too and googled "JWST hammer" only to find this actual contributor to the project…
The Hammers Company, Inc. Greenbelt, MD in this list:
: https://www.jwst.nasa.gov/content/meetTheTeam/team.html
Not all JWST-engineering seams to be that delicate – should we be worried? {{unsigned|162.158.203.15}}

== Amount of gold ==
The James Webb Telescope only has <$2000 of gold. [[https://www.forbes.com/sites/startswithabang/2017/04/05/how-much-gold-is-in-the-james-webb-space-telescope/?sh=4f80bc9d69e5]] {{unsigned|172.68.189.191}}
:Yeah, I'm going to remove the gold thing. It's a complete red herring. The materials represent such a tiny fraction of the cost of coating a mirror that it's not even worth mentioning. Coating a mirror with aluminum or protected silver costs virtually the same as coating it in gold. The fact that the mirrors are made from beryllium is a much larger factor in the cost. [[User:Ahecht|Ahecht]] ([[User talk:Ahecht|talk]]) 16:37, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

Talk:2447: Hammer Incident

2021-04-08T17:25:16Z

Mikemk: /* Actual hammering applied to JWST */ marked missing signature

big --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.187.153|162.158.187.153]] 02:04, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

I added a basic explanation. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.212.224|162.158.212.224]] 02:28, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

Do we really need a huge paragraph explaining all the reasons why any damage to a space telescope is a big, expensive deal? And I'm not sure this is a trial, it's probably more like an administrative panel hearing (like the hearings after the Challenger disaster). [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 14:26, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

== Giant comic ==

Is it meant to be that size? Does the bad luck apply to trying to upload comics at reasonable sizes?
: It's fixed now
[[Special:Contributions/172.69.33.19|172.69.33.19]] 02:09, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:Oooh boy, indeed... "Error creating thumbnail: File with dimensions greater than 12.5 MP" is the Wiki's assessment of the auto-uploaded image. I haven't checked the resolution, but the https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hammer_incident.png one is apparently 4332x4838 (scales to 8% on my device), and I don't care to test the _2x version right now. I'm not sure that was the native res of it on creation, looks to be an accidental up-scaling prior to posting to xkcd itself. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.6|141.101.98.6]] 02:20, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:
::The _2x version is actually the proper size for a normal comic - 578x645 pixels. [[User:Noëlle|Noëlle]] ([[User talk:Noëlle|talk]]) 02:21, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:::Still seems larger than normal to me, even the 2x seems larger than I would expect. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.34.78|172.69.34.78]] 04:02, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:Maybe the extra-large image is what the original looks like using the James Webb telescope? Maybe over-thinking. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.132.145|172.68.132.145]] 04:19, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
::Or perhaps its an resolution/aspect ratio/zoom factor difference between it and the old telescope. Implying all other comics have secretly been placed in front of the other telescope [[Special:Contributions/172.69.170.50|172.69.170.50]] 04:56, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:Perhaps overthinking, if the main reflecting mirror was actually destroyed, the light entering the telescope would never be focused into the secondary mirror and the image would be "light size" so you would only be able to see a small portion of what you expect

:It looks to me that, while most of the text is rendered smoothly in full resolution, the caption below the panel ("Man, NASA is really on my case about the James Webb Space Telescope.") is very jaggy on a pixel level, but only on the Y-axis. There could be quite a bit of information in there. No idea what it means, though. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.77.36|141.101.77.36]] 07:29, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
::It could be floating-point errors that indicate the code flow of the renderer Randall used. Or it could mean anything else. Curious to compare it to a correct rendering of that text with the same font, but wouldn't know what to do with the vector of edge differences myself. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.63.140|162.158.63.140]] 09:03, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

:It seems to be fixed now so I am sure it was an accident
:Randall has now uploaded an even smaller resolution image of 289 × 323 ([https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hammer_incident.png]), and I have added it to this comic explanation. [[User:Natg19|Natg19]] ([[User talk:Natg19|talk]]) 17:15, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

== inspiration ==

When I read this comic I was worried it might have been inspired by recent news of something breaking during the final assembly process. Fortunately this seems not to be the case. Among the many delays of the telescope, were any of them caused by mirror and/or cryo failures that might have inspired this comic? [[User:Quantum7|Quantum7]] ([[User talk:Quantum7|talk]]) 05:53, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:What caused the most recent delay? It seems it's been pushed forward more as Randall predicted in the other comic. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.63.140|162.158.63.140]] 09:03, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:I'm guessing that it was the recent announcement of the planned science for the first year of operation. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.21|162.158.74.21]] 16:48, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

== Cryogenic? ==

I get the sense that the title text is inspired by liquid nitrogen ice cream. -- [[Special:Contributions/108.162.237.252|108.162.237.252]] 13:14, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

== Actual hammering applied to JWST ==

As Quantum7, I was worried too and googled "JWST hammer" only to find this actual contributor to the project…
The Hammers Company, Inc. Greenbelt, MD in this list:
: https://www.jwst.nasa.gov/content/meetTheTeam/team.html
Not all JWST-engineering seams to be that delicate – should we be worried? {{unsigned|162.158.203.15}}

== Amount of gold ==
The James Webb Telescope only has <$2000 of gold. [[https://www.forbes.com/sites/startswithabang/2017/04/05/how-much-gold-is-in-the-james-webb-space-telescope/?sh=4f80bc9d69e5]] {{unsigned|172.68.189.191}}
:Yeah, I'm going to remove the gold thing. It's a complete red herring. The materials represent such a tiny fraction of the cost of coating a mirror that it's not even worth mentioning. Coating a mirror with aluminum or protected silver costs virtually the same as coating it in gold. The fact that the mirrors are made from beryllium is a much larger factor in the cost. [[User:Ahecht|Ahecht]] ([[User talk:Ahecht|talk]]) 16:37, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

Talk:2447: Hammer Incident

2021-04-08T17:23:17Z

Mikemk: /* Amount of gold */ marked missing signature

big --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.187.153|162.158.187.153]] 02:04, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

I added a basic explanation. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.212.224|162.158.212.224]] 02:28, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

Do we really need a huge paragraph explaining all the reasons why any damage to a space telescope is a big, expensive deal? And I'm not sure this is a trial, it's probably more like an administrative panel hearing (like the hearings after the Challenger disaster). [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 14:26, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

== Giant comic ==

Is it meant to be that size? Does the bad luck apply to trying to upload comics at reasonable sizes?
: It's fixed now
[[Special:Contributions/172.69.33.19|172.69.33.19]] 02:09, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:Oooh boy, indeed... "Error creating thumbnail: File with dimensions greater than 12.5 MP" is the Wiki's assessment of the auto-uploaded image. I haven't checked the resolution, but the https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hammer_incident.png one is apparently 4332x4838 (scales to 8% on my device), and I don't care to test the _2x version right now. I'm not sure that was the native res of it on creation, looks to be an accidental up-scaling prior to posting to xkcd itself. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.6|141.101.98.6]] 02:20, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:
::The _2x version is actually the proper size for a normal comic - 578x645 pixels. [[User:Noëlle|Noëlle]] ([[User talk:Noëlle|talk]]) 02:21, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:::Still seems larger than normal to me, even the 2x seems larger than I would expect. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.34.78|172.69.34.78]] 04:02, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:Maybe the extra-large image is what the original looks like using the James Webb telescope? Maybe over-thinking. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.132.145|172.68.132.145]] 04:19, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
::Or perhaps its an resolution/aspect ratio/zoom factor difference between it and the old telescope. Implying all other comics have secretly been placed in front of the other telescope [[Special:Contributions/172.69.170.50|172.69.170.50]] 04:56, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:Perhaps overthinking, if the main reflecting mirror was actually destroyed, the light entering the telescope would never be focused into the secondary mirror and the image would be "light size" so you would only be able to see a small portion of what you expect

:It looks to me that, while most of the text is rendered smoothly in full resolution, the caption below the panel ("Man, NASA is really on my case about the James Webb Space Telescope.") is very jaggy on a pixel level, but only on the Y-axis. There could be quite a bit of information in there. No idea what it means, though. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.77.36|141.101.77.36]] 07:29, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
::It could be floating-point errors that indicate the code flow of the renderer Randall used. Or it could mean anything else. Curious to compare it to a correct rendering of that text with the same font, but wouldn't know what to do with the vector of edge differences myself. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.63.140|162.158.63.140]] 09:03, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

:It seems to be fixed now so I am sure it was an accident
:Randall has now uploaded an even smaller resolution image of 289 × 323 ([https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hammer_incident.png]), and I have added it to this comic explanation. [[User:Natg19|Natg19]] ([[User talk:Natg19|talk]]) 17:15, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

== inspiration ==

When I read this comic I was worried it might have been inspired by recent news of something breaking during the final assembly process. Fortunately this seems not to be the case. Among the many delays of the telescope, were any of them caused by mirror and/or cryo failures that might have inspired this comic? [[User:Quantum7|Quantum7]] ([[User talk:Quantum7|talk]]) 05:53, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:What caused the most recent delay? It seems it's been pushed forward more as Randall predicted in the other comic. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.63.140|162.158.63.140]] 09:03, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
:I'm guessing that it was the recent announcement of the planned science for the first year of operation. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.21|162.158.74.21]] 16:48, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

== Cryogenic? ==

I get the sense that the title text is inspired by liquid nitrogen ice cream. -- [[Special:Contributions/108.162.237.252|108.162.237.252]] 13:14, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

== Actual hammering applied to JWST ==

As Quantum7, I was worried too and googled "JWST hammer" only to find this actual contributor to the project…
The Hammers Company, Inc. Greenbelt, MD in this list:
: https://www.jwst.nasa.gov/content/meetTheTeam/team.html
Not all JWST-engineering seams to be that delicate – should we be worried?

== Amount of gold ==
The James Webb Telescope only has <$2000 of gold. [[https://www.forbes.com/sites/startswithabang/2017/04/05/how-much-gold-is-in-the-james-webb-space-telescope/?sh=4f80bc9d69e5]] {{unsigned|172.68.189.191}}
:Yeah, I'm going to remove the gold thing. It's a complete red herring. The materials represent such a tiny fraction of the cost of coating a mirror that it's not even worth mentioning. Coating a mirror with aluminum or protected silver costs virtually the same as coating it in gold. The fact that the mirrors are made from beryllium is a much larger factor in the cost. [[User:Ahecht|Ahecht]] ([[User talk:Ahecht|talk]]) 16:37, 8 April 2021 (UTC)

Talk:2389: Unread

2020-11-24T00:25:00Z

Mikemk:

I have 27,333 unread emails. On the level of "Your email is important to me. Please wait and it'll get read eventually." [[User:Mikemk|Mikemk]] ([[User talk:Mikemk|talk]]) 00:25, 24 November 2020 (UTC)

2377: xkcd Phone 12

2020-10-27T05:22:25Z

Mikemk: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2377
| date = October 26, 2020
| title = xkcd Phone 12
| image = xkcd_phone_12.png
| titletext = New phone OS features: Infinite customization (home screen icons no longer snap to grid), dark mode (disables screen), screaming mode (self-explanatory), and coherent ultracapacitor-pumped emission (please let us know what this setting does; we've been afraid to try it).
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a PERSON NAMED MAX. Closed timelike curves need more explanation. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This is the "12th" in the ongoing xkcd Phone series in which Randall explains his new joke phone designs with many strange and useless features. It is also a reference to the recently released {{w|iPhone 12}}. However, there have only been 9 comics released, with the previous two being [[2000: xkcd Phone 2000]] and [[1889: xkcd Phone 6]].

The note about the xkcd Phone 12 and the xkcd Phone 12 Max (only for people named Max) is a joke about the different models of iPhone 12: iPhone 12, iPhone 12 Mini, iPhone 12 Pro and iPhone 12 Pro Max. The xkcd Phone 12 Max would be expected to have a larger screen, but it seems that this phone is also only for people with the name Max.

The slogan '"The only phone you'll ever own"' has the "registered trademark" symbol, with that symbol supposedly itself trademarked, which is highly unlikely.

* '''Full drivetrain warranty''' - A common warranty feature for automobiles--see {{w|drivetrain}}. As a side note, the phone here would be cheaping out on the warranty if it were a car; a "drivetrain" warranty covers everything ''except'' the engine; only if it was a "{{w|powertrain}}" warranty would it cover the engine. A phone typically has none of these things, although this one seemingly does.
* '''Coated for easy swallowing''' - A common feature on solid medicines meant to be taken orally. Phones do not belong in the set of edible objects, much less orally-taken medicines{{Citation needed}}. Since some parents of young children let them teethe on their phones, this would be an undesirable feature.
* '''Surgical-grade apps''' - "Surgical-grade steel" is sometime used as a selling point indicating quality materials. This feature suggests that the apps themselves are made from high-quality material, although this is absurd because an app is (as the name suggests) a software application, not any physical object that could be reasonably defined as 'surgical-grade' or not.
* '''Built-in 600 lb magnet for magnet fishing''' - {{w|Magnet fishing}} is an activity for searching for objects that can be pulled in by a strong magnet. A 600 pound magnet can lift a 600 pound object (at Earth's surface). This would tend to make the phone stick to any iron or steel objects (such as refrigerators) and be impossible to remove with human strength, and only the strongest humans could pick up the phone even if it were properly insulated. It would also be impossible to separate two phones without destroying one of them if the interlocking feature were used.
* '''Oral-B partnership: hold phone against teeth to ultrasonically remove plaque''' - This is a reference to {{w|ultrasonic toothbrush}}es. {{w|Oral-B}} does not produce any ultrasonic toothbrushes, but does produce ''{{w|sonic toothbrush}}es.'' There is a logical connection between electric toothbrushes and smartphones, namely they are both electronic and both vibrate; however, most phones cannot perform dentistry autonomously{{Citation needed}}.
* '''40 mL emergency water supply''' - Many phones are now water-resistant to some degree; this phone ships with water included. Furthermore, {{w|survival kits}} often come with pouches that can hold several litres of water, in case of emergency. This would be a silly feature, and it is unclear what emergencies would be solved by having such a small amount of water.
* '''Security feature: unmarked side buttons''' - Some modern phones have unmarked side buttons, so the secureness of this feature is doubtful. This phone is likely to have trillions of buttons though, just to confuse the user. No buttons are visible which could indicate the side of the phone functions is touch sensitive and the buttons are not only unlabeled but not visible.
* '''3,000,000-volt arc allows wireless charging from a range of up to 36 inches''' - Possibly from a Tesla coil. 3,000,000 volts is very lethal{{Citation needed}}, and would make using the phone impossible due to the high voltage emitted. The {{w|Electrical breakdown}} voltage of air is approximately 3 kV / mm, which would allow a 3 MV potential to jump a distance of 100 cm. 36 inches (91 cm), however, is within reach of a simple extension cord.
* '''99.9% BPA- and hands- free''' - {{w|Bisphenol A}} (or BPA) is a compound that is used in making plastics. BPA has been found to exhibit hormone-like properties, so there is a movement to produce BPA-free plastics using alternative bisphenols. {{w|Hands-free}} describes using the device "without hands", e.g. using voice commands. This is important when using a device while driving. These are 2 unrelated ideas, but both have the suffix -free.
* '''Extended release charge cable''' - Electronics manufacturers support standards to reduce time to fully recharge, e.g. Qualcomm {{w|Quick Charge}} standard. This is a reference to "extended release" medication. It's unclear what purpose would be served by charging a phone slower than normal.
* '''Closed timelike curves''' - Given that {{w|Closed timelike curves}} are usually associated with solutions to general relativity that allow for time travel...
* '''Fits in standard shipping container''' - An {{w|intermodal shipping container}} is large enough to fit automobiles, raising the question of just how big this xkcd phone is.
* '''Interlocking, stackable''' - A quality of, among other things, LEGO bricks. Probably a bad idea to use this feature, given how close the phone is to critical mass.
* '''Nintendo partnership: GameBoy Printer compatibility''' - The {{w|Game Boy Printer}} was a thermal paper printer originally paired with the Game Boy Camera. This device was released in 1998 and discontinued in 2003, so this partnership would be obsolete.
* '''Sustain pedal''' - A {{w|sustain pedal}} is commonly associated with a digital keyboard or piano; it lets the note continue sounding when the key is released. It's unclear what purpose it would serve in a phone.
* '''CDC partnership: when in an indoor space with too many people, phone begins playing "We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)" at slowly increasing volume until everyone leaves''' - An allusion to the COVID-19 pandemic. "{{w|We Like to Party! (Vengaboys song)|We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)}}" is a 1998 Eurodance/techno hit by the Vengaboys, and is perhaps most familiar to Americans from a series of Six Flags ads.
* '''Sacrificial anode''' - Useful if something metal (like, say, a boat) will be in a wet environment for a long time. The {{w|sacrificial anode}} is made of a material with higher redox potential (typically zinc), and will corrode faster than the (more valuable) metal object it's attached to. It's unclear if the phone HAS a sacrificial anode or IS a sacrificial anode.
* '''Tactical helium reserve''' - Since 1925, the United States has had a {{w|National Helium Reserve|strategic helium reserve}}. Helium is very rare on earth and has important scientific and military uses, so it’s important to have a supply in case supplies disappear. But here we have a tactical helium reserve, which suggests it's smaller and focused on shorter-term goals. Compare {{w|strategic bombing}} focused on destroying entire cities or countries and {{w|tactical bombing}} aimed at destroying individual targets or military units.
* '''50% below critical mass (2x safety factor)''' - Indicates the phone contains fissile material. This "2x safety factor" means that if you put 2 phones next to each other, or put one phone next to a {{w|neutron reflector}}, you would have a {{w|criticality accident}}, which may explain why you would not own another phone after this one. A phone with this much fissile material would pose a radiation hazard. The "2x safety factor" claim may be related to physicist {{w|Richard Feynman|Richard Feynman's}} famous criticism of NASA in the {{w|Rogers Commission}} report on the space shuttle Challenger disaster. Feynman found that when he confronted NASA engineers with a part worn one third of the way through, which was not supposed to be worn through at all, the engineers claimed that this demonstrated a 3x safety factor rather than a failure of the part.
* '''Shake for factory reset''' - A {{w|factory reset}} is often possible on electronic devices, and is usually accomplished either by pressing a button or closing an electrical bridge. This one works like an Etch-a-Sketch. This would not be preferred, as slight disturbances could easily cause massive losses of data. This would not be possible to shake anyway, given the 600-pound magnet stuck inside, so it would probably have to be extremely sensitive, which is not in any way a plus.
* '''Norton MacAfee protection: if you're ever attacked by John MacAfee, Peter Norton will come out of retirement to defend you'''. {{w|Norton (software)|Norton}} and {{w|MacAfee}} are competing software security companies. This "protection" combines the two of them and claims that Norton (the person) will defend you if MacAfee (the person) attacks you.

The title text mentions xkcd phone OS updates, including:
* '''Infinite customization (home screen icons no longer snap to grid)''' - Whether on-screen icons snap to a grid is a very minor aspect of customization. Not having it would be the ultimate bane of anyone with {{w|obsessive-compulsive disorder}}, as it would make it very difficult to get icons exactly lined up vertically and horizontally.
* '''Dark mode (disables screen)''' - Dark mode is a popular feature on websites/apps with light backgrounds like Twitter and Reddit, changing the background to a dark color to help late-night users sleep better. Disabling the screen would not be a pleasant surprise when a user goes to turn on beloved dark mode. May be impossible to turn off if the screen is no longer touch sensitive when darkened unless the unmarked buttons can be used to disable it. Also a possible reason to want to use the shake-activated factory reset.
* '''Screaming mode (self-explanatory)''' - The phone screams. Reference to the screaming-while-falling [[1363: xkcd Phone|xkcd Phone 1]].
* '''Coherent ultracapacitor-pumped emission (please let us know what this setting does; we've been afraid to try it)''' - This mysterious feature has a terrifying name, with even the developers refusing to test it out. This option would probably be very easy to accidentally tap, given the style of every xkcd Phone ever. Possibly activated with one of the unlabeled buttons making it even more dangerous. Coherent and Emission are associated with laser devices and the use of a laser could justify the helium reserve. Raises the question of who designs the phone if the people marketing it don't know what it does.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

* Full drivetrain warranty
* Coated for easy swallowing
* Surgical-grade apps
* Built-in 600 lb magnet for magnet fishing
* Oral-B partnership: hold phone against teeth to ultrasonically remove plaque
* 40 mL emergency water supply
* Security feature: unmarked side buttons
* 3,000,000-volt arc allows wireless charging from a range of up to 36 inches
* 99.9% BPA- and hands- free
* Extended release charge cable
* Closed timelike curves
* Fits in standard shipping container
* Interlocking, stackable
* Nintendo partnership: GameBoy Printer compatibility
* Sustain Pedal
* CDC partnership: when in an indoor space with too many people, phone begins playing "We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)" at slowly increasing volume until everyone leaves
* Sacrificial anode
* Tactical helium reserve
* 50% below critical mass (2x safety factor)
* Shake for factory reset
* Norton MacAfee protection: if you're ever attacked by John MacAfee, Peter Norton will come out of retirement to defend you

The xkcd Phone 12* and 12 Max**

<nowiki>*Standard</nowiki> **For people named Max

"The only phone you'll ever own"®™

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|xkcd Phones]]

Talk:2377: xkcd Phone 12

2020-10-27T05:19:20Z

Mikemk:

Is there any way to install the Vengaboys feature on my own phone? It's pure genius

If it's coated for easy swallowing, perhaps it's actually a tablet... [[Special:Contributions/162.158.155.54|162.158.155.54]] 22:50, 26 October 2020 (UTC)

Perhaps by taking data from infrared sensors and microphones, an app could automatically start the song? Might have some interesting copyright issues, tho idk how those things work … [[Special:Contributions/162.158.63.124|162.158.63.124]] 23:57, 26 October 2020 (UTC)

Disabling the screen is a real feature (though it's called screen curtain on iOS https://support.apple.com/en-ca/HT201443). {{unsigned|108.162.241.70}}

The 600LB magnet doesn't weigh 600 pounds, it's strong enough to hold 600 pounds. And if you used the interlocking feature, and it doesn't explode, you'd never be able to pull the phones apart. [[User:Mikemk|Mikemk]] ([[User talk:Mikemk|talk]]) 01:42, 27 October 2020 (UTC)
:I just looked up 600 lb fishing magnets on Amazon.com. They weigh a couple lbs. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 05:05, 27 October 2020 (UTC)

I would actually buy something with Game Boy Printer compatibility. [[User:Unpopular Opinions|Goodbye, world!]] ([[User talk:Unpopular Opinions|talk]]) 03:49, 27 October 2020 (UTC)

John MacAfee fled Belize (and the Belize police) when he was wanted for questioning as a “person of interest” in the murder of Gregory Viant Faull. I suspect that that is part of why Randal posits an attack from John MacAfee (and defense from Peter Norton, who (unlike John) hasn’t completely lost his mind). I think he is also on the run from Spanish authorities for tax evasion.[[Special:Contributions/173.245.54.136|173.245.54.136]] 04:33, 27 October 2020 (UTC)

Don't many mobile games use shaking as a way to reset or roll the dice? [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 05:04, 27 October 2020 (UTC)
:Also Moto phones use shaking to turn on the flashlight. [[User:Mikemk|Mikemk]] ([[User talk:Mikemk|talk]]) 05:19, 27 October 2020 (UTC)

Talk:2377: xkcd Phone 12

2020-10-27T01:44:54Z

Mikemk: Added someone's missing signature

Talk:2377: xkcd Phone 12

2020-10-27T01:42:33Z

Mikemk:

User talk:Dgbrt

2020-08-19T15:05:03Z

Mikemk: /* Thanks for maintaining the bot! */ new section

See the history for more:
* [[User talk:Dgbrt/2013|2013]]
* [[User talk:Dgbrt/2014|2014]]
* [[User talk:Dgbrt/2015-2017|2015-2017]]

== Create comic page in lieu of DgbrtBOT ==

I could see [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=1969:_Not_Available&action=history here] that the bot seemed to have failed this time (or did RamenChef fail to wait long enough?) --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 20:41, 20 March 2018 (UTC)
:Ah sorry, saw your comment in the [[Talk:1969: Not Available|Discussion]] now. Great if it has been fixed. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 20:47, 20 March 2018 (UTC)

== ReCAPTCHA ==
ReCAPTCHA v1 has expired, and since no one replied on the admin forum, I asked Kynde, and he told me to come to you. So can you upgrade it to v2? Thanks. [[User:Herobrine|Herobrine]] ([[User talk:Herobrine|talk]]) 13:05, 9 April 2018 (UTC)
:Hi [[User:Herobrine|Herobrine]], this is bad. Also email notification doesn't work since a long time. All admins are nonexistent since months and I don't have access the the server. I will check what I can do with the BOT account. But there is not much hope. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 15:00, 9 April 2018 (UTC)
::Oh... ok. But if I remember correctly, I think one of the admins (I think Jeff?) has a twitter account, but I don't have one and I can't ask on twitter. Could you like contact him that way? And maybe tell him to add a few admins to deal with problems like this? Thanks! [[User:Herobrine|Herobrine]] ([[User talk:Herobrine|talk]]) 10:18, 11 April 2018 (UTC)
:::Hi [[User:Herobrine|Herobrine]], I don't have a twitter account too, but I will sign in when things go worse. And this will happen in the future when all admins are still absent because:
:::*The next invoice for the web-service at Cloudflare must be paid.
:::*The name registration at namecheap.com will expire on 2018-08-10.
:::And it seems that there is no advertising here on the left. So we definitely need new admins here to address these and other issues. I would apply for this, but not alone. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 13:07, 11 April 2018 (UTC)

Hello Dgbrt, I saw your message both here and on Wikipedia. Messaging me on my talk page is enough, I'll see it in my feed reader. Unfortunately, I can't do anything about recaptcha as I don't have ssh access to the server. --[[User:SlashMe|SlashMe]] ([[User talk:SlashMe|talk]]) 15:25, 11 April 2018 (UTC)
:Thanks for your reply [[User:SlashMe|SlashMe]]. You don't have ssh access but as an Administrator you are maybe able to send an email to the relevant persons. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 16:09, 11 April 2018 (UTC)
::Unfortunately, I don't have [[User:Jeff|Jeff]]'s email address either. --[[User:SlashMe|SlashMe]] ([[User talk:SlashMe|talk]]) 06:47, 12 April 2018 (UTC)
'''The problem is solved.''' --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 14:50, 22 May 2018 (UTC)

== I'm here ==

I'm sorry Dgbt (and all my other friendly editors/helpers!)
Let me know what needs to be done and I'll work through it. I'm going to try to be much more proactive and logged in. It's been a busy few months. Please accept my apologies.
The main complication with reCaptcha is that to upgrade to use ReCaptchaNoCaptcha, I'd have to upgrade the wiki. I'm not opposed, it is just a larger work effort than I thought! We are also quite a bit behind! --[[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 03:18, 13 April 2018 (UTC)

== A slight technical problem ==

The image size for comics is a bit off, the zoom is weird and there's some space to the right of the screen... Not sure what to do about it, but as an admin now (congratulations, by the way!) you should be able to deal with it. [[User:Herobrine|Herobrine]] ([[User talk:Herobrine|talk]]) 13:06, 4 July 2018 (UTC)
:Hi [[User:Herobrine|Herobrine]], what is weird? Please give an example of what's wrong and how it should be. BTW: To be an admin just means more work ;) --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 13:20, 4 July 2018 (UTC)
::It seems that there's only one problem left, rather than the three I mentioned before, but it's still a problem. For example, normally pages should be like this, where there's a sidebar to the left, and the rest is the page you're viewing. But now for comic explanations, there's an empty sidebar on the right side of the screen that shouldn't be there, and the page itself has been squeezed so now it only takes up about 60% of the screen's width. [[User:Herobrine|Herobrine]] ([[User talk:Herobrine|talk]]) 01:24, 5 July 2018 (UTC)
:::Sorry for the delay, but it should be fixed now. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 16:38, 10 July 2018 (UTC)

== Unicode issues with the Bot ==

Hi, your bot doesn't handle UTF-8 in the alt-text well, as seen on today's comic [[2038]] :P This is a known problem with the xkcd api, which double-utf-8-encodes everything. I believe I've read your bot is programmed in Perl, so I may be able to help fix this. There is a module on CPAN to fix this automagically, [https://metacpan.org/pod/Encode::DoubleEncodedUTF8 Encode::DoubleEncodedUTF8] [[User:Gir|//gir.st/]] ([[User talk:Gir|talk]]) 13:23, 27 August 2018 (UTC)
:'''E''': I've sent you a PR; https://github.com/dgbrt/explainXKCD_update/pull/3 [[User:Gir|//gir.st/]] ([[User talk:Gir|talk]]) 13:44, 27 August 2018 (UTC)
::I was replying at the same time:
:Thanks, you can find the GitHub link here: [[User:DgbrtBOT]]. The latest changes are a little bit ugly because I've had to find a fast solution on the forced https connection. Nonetheless the unicode issue is well known, until now I simply was too lazy. And reading the warnings at the DoubleEncodedUTF8 module tells me it should be solved in a better way.
:I'm not sure, but my CentOS environment looks good:
:<code>env | grep LANG</code> gives me
:<code>LANG=en_US.UTF-8</code>
:The Perl script already has <code>binmode STDOUT, ':utf8';</code> which was needed so maybe the same for <code>STDIN</code> could help. Any ideas? I have a Wiki at my PC for testing. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 14:26, 27 August 2018 (UTC)
The problem is solved and the script successfully tested. Thanks for the help. And if Randall reads this: You probably can fool the BOT by using double encoded UTF at the comic name. But I believe the corresponding image URI wouldn't work. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 14:26, 28 August 2018 (UTC)

==Signature==
Oops, sorry for forgetting my signature in my comment on "1047: Approximations", and thank you for adding it. [[User:Redbelly98|Redbelly98]] ([[User talk:Redbelly98|talk]]) 01:27, 4 September 2018 (UTC)
:You're welcome but there is absolutely no need to apologize. Errare humanum est. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 14:42, 4 September 2018 (UTC)

== Elections ==

Regarding your new [[:Category:Elections|Category:Elections]]...
 Is it comics like this you wish to include? [[1130: Poll Watching]]? Guess anything Nate Silver is about it?
 Just added [[500: Election]]... question is if election category is to be a subset of politics and that some politic comics that are "only" about election should then not also be directly in politic category? Sometimes there is more to it than election, but not really in the election comic for instance --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 12:30, 2 November 2018 (UTC)
:Thanks for your work. I've written "...in politics or elsewhere" because I think it may belong not only to politics. "1130: Poll Watching" definitely belongs to this category, it's even politics. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 12:56, 2 November 2018 (UTC)

== Thanx. ==

Thanx for the tweeking and the signing of my entry in 2066.[[User:Naraht|Naraht]] ([[User talk:Naraht|talk]]) 21:07, 12 November 2018 (UTC)

== Purge? ==

On the main page, there's a line below the Latest Comic block that states "Is this out of date? Clicking here will fix that."

This link contains an action parameter value of "purge" in the URL. Do you know what this actually does? Is it somehow related to the caching system, or does it just force the main page to recheck the latest comic number?

Just curious, as I thought it might be useful for refreshing the cache when investigating an issue like an updated image that isn't being shown immediately. Thanks for any insight! (Oops, forgot to sign my edit!) [[User:Ianrbibtitlht|Ianrbibtitlht]] ([[User talk:Ianrbibtitlht|talk]]) 17:58, 2 January 2019 (UTC)
:Purging affects only the cache at this Wiki but not at Cloudflare. A purged page here will produce a new hash and thus also the Cloudflare cache will be expired. You can do this at every page here by adding "?action=purge" to the end of the URL; or if there is already a parameter with a question mark it should be "&action=purge". Nonetheless, editing a page and changing only one single character will have the same effect.
:For pictures this is different because there is a page for the image:
:*<nowiki>https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/File:reminders.png</nowiki>
:and the image itself:
:*<nowiki>https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/2/2c/reminders.png</nowiki>
:You can purge the first link because it's rendered through the PHP engine but the second link is just a static image and the Cloudflare cache assumes that this doesn't change often. This helps to keep the traffic at the Wiki server much lower. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 18:04, 2 January 2019 (UTC)
::Awesome and thorough answer! I appreciate you taking the time to explain it so well. [[User:Ianrbibtitlht|Ianrbibtitlht]] ([[User talk:Ianrbibtitlht|talk]]) 18:20, 2 January 2019 (UTC)

==2003: Presidential_Succession==

In the explanation for [[2003: Presidential_Succession]], I just noticed that a number of users have updated the "List of specific individuals" section based on events since the comic was published, even though the section heading states that the list is as of the date the comic was published. Specifically, someone removed Serena Williams from the list because of a loss in July 2018, someone removed a whole section on the Royal family (which might be appropriate, but I don't know for sure), and several users changed a number of government people as a result of election results in November.

I was going to try to revert each of the changes back to the original list ,but there are also changes that are probably appropriate in other areas of the explanation. Do you know of a way to revert only those changes that were not appropriate, while retaining others that are appropriate? [[User:Ianrbibtitlht|Ianrbibtitlht]] ([[User talk:Ianrbibtitlht|talk]]) 15:46, 5 January 2019 (UTC)

:I decided to just manually revert each change made that was not appropriate, so you can disregard my question. I also added '''bold''' highlighting to the text in the opening paragraph that the list is as of the date of the comic to let people know that they should not update the names based on later events. One of the edits was to remove members of the royal family from the list. I left those names off of the updated list, as that makes sense to me. [[User:Ianrbibtitlht|Ianrbibtitlht]] ([[User talk:Ianrbibtitlht|talk]]) 17:37, 5 January 2019 (UTC)

::Many thanks for your work. The explanation always belongs to the date when the comic was published. Any further developments may be mentioned by that manner, but in general that's trivia because it doesn't explain the comic itself in it's context. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 21:16, 5 January 2019 (UTC)

==1732: Earth_Temperature_Timeline==

Ok, hate to bug you again, but I have an odd question about [[1732:_Earth_Temperature_Timeline]] and its comic image, which is 740 × 14,889 in size.

This past week, when I viewed this comic, the image was not displaying, and it wouldn't display even when I clicked on the image file link on the image page (the thumbnail was OK though). I was getting what I thought was a server error instead, and the problem was clearly not due to something in the explanation page. I thought maybe something was wrong with the image file, but I was able to download it and open it in my local image viewer program. I was considering what I might be able to do to resolve the issue, but not knowing why it wasn't opening, I put it off...

However, now it's working fine again on the comic page, and I'm not sure what to make of the previous problem.

Have you seen similar issues like this in the past? Any thoughts on what might have caused it? I considered whether it might be helpful to actually split the image into separate slices and add them to the comic with some slider effect to view just a slice at a time, but I thought that might be too much effort for a wiki environment. Any thoughts? [[User:Ianrbibtitlht|Ianrbibtitlht]] ([[User talk:Ianrbibtitlht|talk]]) 05:28, 11 January 2019 (UTC)
:Please copy and paste the server error message or do a screen shot. But maybe it was just a local problem with your browser. Other comic images still did work? And click on the navigation title to see the original at the xkcd site. It also has the huge image directly embedded, thus I think we also should do so. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 17:15, 11 January 2019 (UTC)

== Protection from antisemitic troll ==

Hi, good thing to short-term protect the new pages. However at the same time someone with the account truth revealer has registered... also still on other posts back and forth editing (with antisemitic content from IP-users) happens: https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=2120:_Brain_Hemispheres&curid=21799&diff=170762&oldid=170760 is it possible to also block for stuff like that? like slowing down the capabilities to do multiple edits for IP-users? --[[User:Lupo|Lupo]] ([[User talk:Lupo|talk]]) 16:22, 8 March 2019 (UTC)
:This is a bad solution because many - sometimes even most - editors are just IPs. This action today is just a signal to that vandal. Further older discussions are here: [[explain_xkcd:Community_portal/Admin_requests#SOON_THE_TRUTH_WILL_BE_REVEALED|Admin requests at the Community portal]]. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 16:32, 8 March 2019 (UTC)

==DgbrtBOT failed 2019-08-30==
Hi Dgbrt. The bot failed yesterday on [[2196: Nice To E-Meet You]]. Have you noticed it? --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 09:29, 31 August 2019 (UTC)
:It began working again at [[2252: Parenthetical Names]]. So 56 comics or about 19 weeks of downtime...? Did you fix it? --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 09:26, 10 January 2020 (UTC)
::It was not continuesly down from August onward. It started again right on 2nd September: [[2197: Game Show]] and did work until Friday, 13th December: [[2241: Brussels Sprouts Mandela Effect]] (maybe it is supersitious about Friday the 13th?) - [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/DgbrtBOT&target=DgbrtBOT see contributions page of the bot] --[[User:Lupo|Lupo]] ([[User talk:Lupo|talk]]) 09:36, 10 January 2020 (UTC)

== Possible problem with the PHP installation ==

Dgbrt, I had an exchange of posts on the SlashMe talk page because that is the only administrator with any Wiki contributions shown in 2020 (for example you were in March 2019 and Jeff in April 2019). SlashMe confirmed the problem I identified but had no solution, and suggested that I reach out to you. The exchange is copied below. --[[User:JohnB|JohnB]] ([[User talk:JohnB|talk]]) 00:38, 11 July 2020 (UTC)

=== Really really difficult to get to the What If? page in the Wiki ===
The name of the page is '''what if?''' but if you make an internal link the usual way, as here: [[what if?|<nowiki>[[what if?]]</nowiki>]], you get a mostly blank page with the message ''No input file specified''. It would appear that page names with a question mark break something. The failed form is what is used on the disambiguation page [[What If|<nowiki>[[What If]]</nowiki>]], and so following the page link from there fails. What does work is this internal link: [[whatif|<nowiki>[[whatif]]</nowiki>]], but when you get there and click what links here, that fails as described above. If you really really want to get to the what links here page for the what if? page, you have to use an external link, as [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Special:WhatLinksHere?target=what_if%3F&namespace%3D|<nowiki>[https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Special:WhatLinksHere?target=what_if%3F&namespace%3D]</nowiki>]. But but but. On all those pages that it says link to the what if? page, the links are broken as described above.

My opinion is that the way to fix at this problem is to rename the what if? page to have no question mark, and then to visit all the pages in the old linked to list and update their links to the new page name. Ugh.
--[[User:JohnB|JohnB]] ([[User talk:JohnB|talk]]) 22:45, 10 July 2020 (UTC)

:I have looked a little bit into it and it seems to be a configuration issue with the PHP installation. However, I don't have a definite solution for that and even if I had, I don't have access to the server and wouldn't be able to change it. I think [[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] has. Try reaching out to him. --[[User:SlashMe|SlashMe]] ([[User talk:SlashMe|talk]]) 22:58, 10 July 2020 (UTC)

::One more data point. The redirect page [[whatif|<nowiki>[[whatif]]</nowiki>]] redirects using the [[what if?|<nowiki>[[what if?]]</nowiki>]] syntax that fails every place else, but when redirecting it actually works. Go figure. --[[User:JohnB|JohnB]] ([[User talk:JohnB|talk]]) 00:47, 12 July 2020 (UTC)

== Thanks for maintaining the bot! ==

I saw in today's incomplete tag that you mentioned no one ever thanks you. I just wanted to thank you for maintaining it. [[User:Mikemk|Mikemk]] ([[User talk:Mikemk|talk]]) 15:05, 19 August 2020 (UTC)

Talk:2324: Old Days 2

2020-06-24T23:44:33Z

Mikemk:

I've gotta try that, see how the ice cream truck guy reacts. Wonder where I can find an ice cream truck though? [[Special:Contributions/172.69.71.16|172.69.71.16]] 23:42, 24 June 2020 (UTC)
: The above is me, wasn't logged in, would I get in trouble for fixing the signature? [[User:Mikemk|Mikemk]] ([[User talk:Mikemk|talk]]) 23:44, 24 June 2020 (UTC)

Talk:2324: Old Days 2

2020-06-24T23:44:14Z

Mikemk:

2309: X

2020-05-21T11:27:44Z

Mikemk: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2309
| date = May 20, 2020
| title = X
| image = x.png
| titletext = The worst is when you run out of monospaced fonts and have to use variable-width variables.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a COMIC SANS X AND A NEW PROGRAMMER. This page needs an expanded explanation of what esoteric languages are. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

[[Cueball]] has developed a new {{w|programming language}} with novel syntax. These languages are classified as {{w|esoteric language}}s, which are programming languages developed for no practical use (although that doesn't stop people from trying) other than novelty. The classic example of these are {{w|INTERCAL}} and {{w|brainfuck}}.

Normally, there is no law against developing bad programming languages or bad code (although some would argue there should be). The law often has to play catch-up with technology. However, as with the example of Cueball and the EPA, and Cueball with tech support problems, it seems that the Government has made an exemption in this case, possibly because the result is so egregious as to cause real harm.

A {{w|Variable (computer science)|variable}} is a piece of data (such as an integer or a string of text) that can change in value. Variables can usually be named any string of alphanumeric characters. For the sake of readability, variables are usually named something relevant to what the variable represents. For example, a variable counting how many seconds have passed since the program was launched might be called elapsedTime. Some programmers, particularly if they are working under time pressure, will give their variables names (such as 'x') that do not describe what they do, and are thus almost completely meaningless. This is considered bad coding practice, because anyone reading the code who is not familiar with it will not understand what the variable does.

Here, Cueball is developing a language where the only way to differentiate variables is to write the letter "X" in different fonts. Typically, code is written in plain text without a way to specify a font, which would mean that Cueball has implemented a lot more processing in the {{w|compiler}} or {{w|Integrated development environment|IDE}} in a fashion typically seen as unconventional. This 'feature' would be a nightmare to program with, as all of the variables would look very similar unless careful attention is being paid, and there would be little to no way to determine what each one does, since font names are typically not particularly descriptive. Additionally, the fact that some fonts look similar (such as Arial and Helvetica) would require the programmer to have an intricate knowledge of different fonts and how to distinguish them from only one letter. Programs would also be difficult to edit if two programmers do not have the same fonts installed.

This is also a jab at mathematicians who are in addition to using variable names which are short and nondescript (e.g. "x"), are also "typeface sensitive" (in addition to case sensitive). In other words, one can typically find a statement involving three different "X" variables, referring to three different objects, and they are distinguished by their font and case.

The title text references the fact that most IDEs use a monospaced font (i.e. one where every character is the same width), as opposed to variable-width fonts, in which some characters like 'I' are narrower than others. This is partly because fixed horizontal alignment is sometimes useful when dealing with certain text strings. 'Variable-width variables' refers to the fact that the letter X, like all letters, has different widths in different fonts. This would make this fixed alignment almost impossible, thus creating yet another reason why Cueball's language would be highly unpleasant to use.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Cueball holds a laptop with code visible on the screen.]
:Cueball: I've developed a new programming language!
:Offpanel voice: Didn't a judge order you to stop doing that?

:[In a frameless panel, Cueball holds the laptop with one hand and types on the keyboard.]
:Cueball: Higher court threw out the ruling!
:Cueball: I'm back, suckers!
:Offpanel voice: ''Dammit.''

:[Cueball holds the folded down laptop at his side.]
:Cueball: But I promise it's good this time!
:Cueball: Just normal code. Good clean syntax. Nothing weird.
:Offpanel voice: Okay...

:[Cueball holds the laptop at his side, and raises a finger on his other hand.]
:Cueball: Except the only variable name is "X". To refer to different variables you have to write "X" in different fonts.
:Offpanel voice: I'm calling the court.
:Another offpanel voice: Maybe we can appeal.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category: Programming]]

Talk:2309: X

2020-05-21T11:22:55Z

Mikemk:

id certainly use that language lol ([[User talk:172.69.70.101|172.69.70.101]])

-- haXkell is a X-based dialect of haskell 
X :: Integer -> Integer 
X 0 = 1 
X X = X * X (X-1) 
[[User:Capncanuck|Capncanuck]] ([[User talk:Capncanuck|talk]]) 02:35, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

https://esolangs.org/wiki/X isn't taken. --[[User:Blacksilver|Blacksilver]] ([[User talk:Blacksilver|talk]]) 02:40, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

Some unique looking variable names would be X and x in the fonts Webdings, Wingdings, Wingdings 2, and Wingdings 3. 
They are respectively as follows: 
X
x
X
x
X
x
X
x --[[User:Dstrube|Dstrube]] ([[User talk:Dstrube|talk]]) 02:49, 21 May 2020 (UTC) 
:This comment is quite uninformative to someone who doesn't have those fonts installed. [[User:Angel|Angel]] ([[User talk:Angel|talk]]) 09:57, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
:: This comment highlights another issue with Cueball's language. [[User:Mikemk|Mikemk]] ([[User talk:Mikemk|talk]]) 11:22, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

As well as esolangs, among which I would consider the likes of Whitespace and b****fuck as potential inspirations, I think I'm also minded of TempleOS and its creator as vaguer but possibly still related influences... [[Special:Contributions/162.158.158.163|162.158.158.163]] 03:28, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

I added an explanation of what a variable is and why it's bad to have every one named X. It's pretty rudimentary though, hope someone more experienced than me will improve it. [[User:Unpopular Opinions|Goodbye, world!]] ([[User talk:Unpopular Opinions|talk]]) 04:39, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

:Forth basically doesn't use variable names. Commands operate on and consume the last number mentioned. A Forth program "1 2 3 . . ." prints 3, then 2, then 1. "2 3 + ." prints 5 I think??
:In Microsoft "Transact-SQL" you can script variables named starting @ and temporary objects starting #. I promise I try to resist naming objects @ or # and especially if @ or # is going to be a different object in each program... or is not. And if someone else needs to reads this (and I don't want to punish them). Not to mention "@ " for instance. Robert Carnegie rja.carnegie@gmail.com [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.54|141.101.98.54]] 09:21, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

Psh you're all chicken. Chicken chicken chicken.

[[https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/677507038607048704/706860858587873310/ShapeLikeItSelf_img1.png?width=282&height=209 Language where you can have return keyword in a if condition]],
[[https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/677507038607048704/712914169774735441/unknown.png?width=292&height=103 Language that uses unicode symbols for built_in operators]],
[[https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/677507038607048704/712915431446282240/unknown.png?width=396&height=379 Language, I have no words to describe]],
and this this '''X''' thing is winning so far...
[[Special:Contributions/162.158.89.139|162.158.89.139]] 06:35, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

:Yeah, but C++ does that shit either '''unintentionally''' or '''at user demand''' (although, to be clear, I'm not saying it's any good; C++ and Java are possibly the worst programming languages in terms of shoddy design). The X programming language is just the designer being an asshole. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.189.205|172.68.189.205]] 07:04, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
::Those links have nothing to do with C++/Java and you can Not do those things in C++ or Java (except an if in an assignment).[[Special:Contributions/162.158.92.208|162.158.92.208]] 08:02, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
:Those look like pretty sane language features; just looks weird because of the Eliza effect; those keywords don't behave like you'd expect them to based on experience of other languages. In the first example, you can certainly do that in Perl using "if (defined wantarray)"; it's just unusual (but comprehensible) to name the keyword "return". What language is that? [[User:Angel|Angel]] ([[User talk:Angel|talk]]) 09:57, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
::Language is called ShapedLikeItSelf, but it currently has no runner. Documentation is just of images like these on discord server.
::[[https://discord.gg/ercPss9 This is link to it]] if you are intersted. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.89.19|162.158.89.19]] 10:19, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

Did Randall refer to this comic? https://xkcd.com/1537/
I vaguely remember another one about an esoteric language. Is there a category of programming languages on explainxkcd?

Am I the only one that tried fiddling the CSS on the page to see if the X would change? Spoiler -> It didn't. [[User:Xseo|Xseo]] ([[User talk:Xseo|talk]]) 08:54, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

If X is the only variable name, can it be omitted? For example, writing a single-argument function name in a different font to imply which X should be treated as its argument. And that gets me wondering how the source is stored; will the IDE allow use of fonts not installed on your system? Will the compiler fail if it can't find the font, requiring you to track down all of the fonts a developer used in order to compile their code? And what would be the legality of mixing open-source code and proprietary fonts? [[User:Angel|Angel]] ([[User talk:Angel|talk]]) 09:57, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

"… and array indices start at 8, because anything smaller than that would be unreadable." [[User:Angel|Angel]] ([[User talk:Angel|talk]]) 10:00, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

Talk:2308: Mount St. Helens

2020-05-19T08:54:32Z

Mikemk:

I suspect the wiggles in all the hand-drawn lines are actually more than the changes in height of the various mountains, and almost certainly not correlated to the actual changes in height, since this is all unknown. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 00:56, 19 May 2020 (UTC)

This comic needs to be translated to non-retard units [[Special:Contributions/162.158.155.212|162.158.155.212]] 07:41, 19 May 2020 (UTC)
:It's pretty common to measure things in years. And while measuring in 20 year gaps isn't normal, I wouldn't call it retarded, especially when they're probably chosen for a good visual spacing. [[User:Mikemk|Mikemk]] ([[User talk:Mikemk|talk]]) 08:54, 19 May 2020 (UTC)

Talk:2283: Exa-Exabyte

2020-03-21T05:32:35Z

Mikemk: Forgot to sign

Is this the first non-coronavirus related comic after eight in a row? -- brad

My personal suspicion is that this one came out so late in the day because Randall was trying to think up another coronavirus-related comic so as not to break his streak :) [[Special:Contributions/108.162.242.5|108.162.242.5]] 20:05, 20 March 2020 (UTC)

We sure this is not covid-19 related? A comic revolving around how hard biology is doesn't seem to me like a definite chain breaker for a biology related topic. Though I'll admit its a bit of a stretch [[Special:Contributions/172.69.198.58|172.69.198.58]] 21:14, 20 March 2020 (UTC)

I'm pretty sure the comic is SARS-CoV-2 related. The virus genome can be found all over the internet lately, it is even used for spamming. [[User:Condor70|Condor70]] ([[User talk:Condor70|talk]]) 21:32, 20 March 2020 (UTC)
:Did someone already modified SARS-CoV-2 to be able to infect computers as well? -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 23:35, 20 March 2020 (UTC)

so, is she counting all of humanity as one string of DNA data, or does each human count separately, or each cell in a human's body, or what?
[[Special:Contributions/162.158.74.215|162.158.74.215]] 21:48, 20 March 2020 (UTC)
: According to the NYT article, it was calculating "number of cells contained in each organism and multiplied that by the amount of DNA contained in each cell". [[Special:Contributions/172.69.33.161|172.69.33.161]] 22:46, 20 March 2020 (UTC)
:: So, very small part of it would be each human cell counted separately. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 23:35, 20 March 2020 (UTC)

'This is a comic about the difficulty of picturing or understanding large numbers. As mentioned in the comic, an exabyte is 10^18 bytes, while an "exa-exabyte" -- not a real word but one that makes sense if you apply the principles of metric prefixes' One of the principles of metric prefixes (which can be found in the linked page) is 'Prefixes may not be used in combination.' So "exa-exa" does not make sense in the metric world. It only makes "sense" in the messed up world were you lbf/lbm has the value 1 instead of g.[[Special:Contributions/172.68.65.138|172.68.65.138]] 01:54, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

Most the data is redundant though. Compressed, and it definitely should be, it would take only about 2% as much space to store. [[User:Mikemk|Mikemk]] ([[User talk:Mikemk|talk]]) 05:32, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

Mikemk:

Bah, my first draft was conflicted yet again! Here's my draft - anyone feel free to re-merge any or part herein.
:When people receive a major award, like the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Academy_Awards|Academy Award] (or an "Oscar"), they give an acceptance speech which traditionally begins with the recipient thanking people who have helped them achieve the honour. Sometimes when a number of people are mentioned, the recipient will say that it was a team effort - a comment which elevates the "helpers" to virtually the same level as the recipient.
:This comic takes things one step further and attributes assistance in winning the award to a normal bodily function - the bacteria in short-haired-girls gut. This bacteria is largely what makes digestion possible, and without it she would die - and not be able to win the award.
[[User:Jarod997|Jarod997]] ([[User talk:Jarod997|talk]]) 13:30, 26 June 2015 (UTC)
:Please wait for the BOT [[User:dgbrtBOT|dgbrtBOT]] to create and edit all the necessary content here. So please wait for the BOT and edit only existing pages. Since xkcd is running in a cloud it can happen that my BOT sees updates later than you. So please be patient. --[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 17:00, 26 June 2015 (UTC)

In the scenario suggested (already tending towards a hypothetical quantification, and not regulated by a Weights And Measures authority), I'm not sure about either the accuracy ''or'' precision points currently in th explanation. Randall/Megan may differ but, in my ''personal'' dialect, it's perfectly legitimate to say this for "one ''to'' two pints" with context suggesting whether this is some set (by whole/half/etc pints) or a continuity. And rarely would it mean to six significant figures (it would be lower ''precision'', regardless of any implied discrete ''accuracy''). The unvoiced error-margins in precision around a pint and a couple of pints (although not invoked here, see also [[1070]]!) could quite eaily overlap, in this scenario, to smudge even the 'set of two' together, and to either side. IMO.

Also, I immediately saw (probably wrongly) an echo of recent strips [[1541]] and [[1528]], among others, with the scenario of a singled corpus being shared and thus influenced (willingly or otherwise!) by multiple entities. (If apparently-Randall does any more along these lines... well, maybe ''he'''s trying to tell us something!) [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.30|141.101.98.30]] 16:41, 27 June 2015 (UTC)

Let's see if this sticks; I'm testing people to see how well they can negotiate contextual common sense when critically applied to neurotic debate over minutia. Regarding: the explanation in the 15:40 27 June 2015 revision, even though it has been edited out, but because there's a fascinating bit of didactic assertion that doesn't appear to pay heed to standard practice in speaking, and a full postmodern style deconstruction is something I'm in a ridiculously misplaced mood to go about doing. In the interest of being needlessly pedantic in an anonymous online discussion, I feel it sensible to point out that "one to two" (of something) to indicate a continuously differentiable value range, is rarely if ever used in colloquial English, (especially when the something in question, here being "pints" which is almost always referring to fluid volume, is readily divisible and not necessarily allotted in integer amounts.) In spoken English, the parsing "[x amount] to [y amount]," is usually only utilized when those amounts differ by greater than one. For example, "ideally we would have a team of four to eight people working on this project." One might use the phrase, "I would like it if two or three people could help me move this couch," to mean ''exactly'' two or ''exactly'' three people, and it scans this way primarily because people, as a unit of measurement, cannot be sensibly subdivided. Contrarily, when the parsing "[n] or [n+1]" is coupled to a unit that is readily divisible, common usage will scan to most speakers in a way that could more precisely be stated as, "a range centered on [n+0.5] [units] with a standard deviation slightly greater than [1 unit]."

For example I might say, "there are like, three or four dozen geese over there," and I would be daft to expect someone to interpret that to mean, "I estimate there are exactly 36 or exactly 48 geese over there," but have every expectation that most people might (however generally) hear that to mean something close to, "I have made a quick ballpark estimate of between 36 and 48 geese from my imprecise observations, and would not be surprised if the exactly value were as low as 32 or as high as 52." (I cannot rapidly count geese in quantities larger than about a dozen, and for each additional dozen of geese beyond the first, I expect my ability to make rapid estimations, in the same span of time it would otherwise take me to count a dozen geese, quickly deteriorates with at best a linear increase in margin of error and likely much worse than that. Which is to say, if I am able to wholly observe a number of geese (such that they are all within my field of view and none are obstructed by obstacles or other geese) between, say, 50 and 200, any estimates made in the same amount of time it would take me to individually count up to twelve of those geese, would probably be faulty to an order of several dozen geese. I don't know to what particular extent this is true; it would be a curious thing to test. I do however anticipate that a similar faultiness of measurement would exist for the average person estimating fluid volumes in the range of whole pints, especially in non-standard containers (for example, the human gut.))

All of this is further supported by the syntactical parsing of Megan's statement. The stated value distribution, "one or two pints," is immediately preceded by, "I mean, there's like." The phrase, "there's like," concisely indicates a vague or hasty approximation will follow, while the preamble, "I mean," has become trendy in informal speech to prime listeners for upcoming dialogue with a tone indicative of range of qualifiers potentially including personal bias, wide margins of error, unsubstantiated or inflated sense of certainty, but overall a sense that exacting precision will be less semantically relevant to the content than the relational posturing of the salient concepts. In a tautological sense, this is quite literally stated; "I mean," clearly indicates that what one will be explicating on has to do directly with meaning, rather than measurement, hypothetical abstraction or inquisitive positing, vague social hints, or any of a range of things one might attempt to convey linguistically. The listener is then ready to grapple with Megan's summary, "their cells outnumber mine," in a way that directs their apprehension to the contextual significance of the phrase, rather than the isolated absolute value of it. This allows the listener to link the practical value of the whole sentence to the preceding one. Since Megan opens by thanking a list of people which could be seen as comprising individuals, it makes sense to interpret the second sentence as denoting a significance in the sum of bacteria as individuals, and that there is a remarkable (hence her remarking on it) meaning in the concept of there being more ''individual'' bacteria encompassed within Megan's person than she has in total ''parts'' (for some interpretations of the concept of "parts.")

The summary conceptual meaning of Megan's statements (punctuated entirely by the concise notion of "team effort,") renders fully moot any utility in determining the precise volume of bacteria, and urges the use of the most efficient uttering possible to indicate the volume without being wholly arbitrary; whatever the exact amount, it is likely to be within an order of magnitude of a pint, a pint is an intuitively imaginable (and for many beer drinkers and Ben and Jerry's ice cream eaters, personally poignant) volumetric unit of measurement, a pint of anything that is usually functionally invisible has immediate sensational potency, and that all amounts to a very large number of bacteria and indicates little if anything important about how much of a space that number of bacteria fit into. (How Randall came up with a volume figure for gut bacteria is beyond me; any quick searches I've done seem to indicate information about bacteria in terms of quantity or weight, and conversions to volume seem tremendously speculative and subject to conditional factors.) 10:07, 27 June 2015 (UTC) {{unsigned ip|108.162.219.10}}

http://www.nature.com/news/scientists-bust-myth-that-our-bodies-have-more-bacteria-than-human-cells-1.19136 [[Special:Contributions/108.162.237.76|108.162.237.76]] 02:36, 6 March 2016 (UTC)

Talk:1721: Business Idea

Talk:1720: Horses

2016-08-15T21:37:25Z

Mikemk:

1707: xkcd Phone 4

2016-07-15T22:15:36Z

Mikemk: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1707
| date = July 15, 2016
| title = xkcd Phone 4
| image = xkcd_phone_4.png
| titletext = The SpaceX system carefully guides falling phones down to the surface, a process which the phones increasingly often survive without exploding.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Not everything explained}}

This is another entry in the xkcd Phone series (see [[1363: xkcd Phone]], [[1465: xkcd Phone 2]] and [[1549: XKCD Phone 3]]), and once again, the comic plays with many standard tech buzzwords to create a phone that sounds impressive but would actually be very impractical.

From the top, going clockwise:
* '''18,000 μAh (micro-Ampere hours) nickel-lithium-iron battery (non-rechargeable)''' Phone battery capacity is measured in {{w|ampere-hour}}s (which thanks to the magic of {{w|dimensional analysis}}, is just an unusual way of denoting electric charge, which equals 3600 Coulombs). Usually, the capacity is quoted in milliampere-hours (one-thousandth, or 10-3, of an ampere hour); however, this one is quoted in ''micro''ampere-hours (one-millionth, or 10-6, of an ampere-hour), presumably as a marketing ploy to give a more impressive-looking number. Quoted in more standard terms, this phone's battery capacity is 18 mAh. In comparison, an iPhone 6+ has a battery capacity of 2,750 mAh. This phone's battery is dreadful (under a typical current draw of 0.1A, it would power the phone for about 11 minutes). There is nothing normally called a "nickel-lithium-iron battery" - rather, this seems to be a [[739|malamanteau]] of the experimental {{w|nickel–lithium battery}} and the common {{w|lithium ion battery}} (which does not contain any iron) or the lithium-iron-phosphate battery, often called lithium-iron, but more often called the LiFePO battery. The {{w|nickel–iron battery}} may contain {{w|lithium hydroxide}}, but it's ''terrible'' for most applications. Worse, this battery is non-rechargeable, meaning that it would have to be replaced to use the phone again after it is exhausted (every 11 minutes, at that!).
** [[XKCD Phone 3]] was powered by two {{w|AA battery|AA batteries}} (not included), which have an energy capacity roughly 100 times larger.
** Many devices have a small second battery which is only used for keeping the clock time. This could be such a battery.
* '''Subwoofer''' - A {{w|subwoofer}} is a large bass speaker, which this is not. Some phones do have high-quality speakers for playing music, but these are not placed right next to the earpiece - this would be a surefire way to deafen your users. When put next to Dog Whistle, this is probably a pun, since both relate to dogs; the sound a dog makes, at least in English is "Woof".
* '''"Dog whistle"''' - A {{w|dog whistle}} is a high-pitched whistle that humans cannot hear, but dogs can. In speaker terminology, a bass speaker is called a {{w|woofer}} because it could reproduce the low pitch of a dog bark. A treble speaker is a {{w|tweeter}}; if this "whistle" is actually a speaker, it might be termed a ''supertweeter''. The scare quotes around the term add to the idea that whatever it is called is not what it really is.
** [[xkcd Phone 2]] contained a "dog noticer".
* '''Non-porous, washable''' - On the one hand, it's rare for a phone to be made of porous materials. On the other, there are legitimately waterproof phones that seal the speakers and ports with rubber.
** [[xkcd Phone 2]] was also washable (though only once).
* '''''WebMD'' partnership: cough-activated feature reads aloud a random diagnosis for "coughing"''' - {{w|WebMD}} is a website to help people diagnose themselves. For the vast majority of people, a cough just means an irritated throat or maybe a cold, but selecting randomly from all WebMD diagnoses gives some much more ominous - if very unlikely - ones, including {{w|ricin}} poisoning, {{w|plague}}, {{w|lung cancer}} and {{w|radiation poisoning}}.
* '''Wings''' - These {{w|wings}} resemble the ones found on {{w|sanitary towel}}s (sometimes called "pads", making this a possible iPad pun) which attach the pad to the {{w|gusset}} and keep it in place between the woman's legs during her period ({{w|Menstruation}} cycle). If actually functional as {{w|aerodynamic}} wings, they would likely come into play when the "SpaceX" impact protection feature becomes engaged.
** [[XKCD Phone 3]] had a similarly positioned wristband.
* '''Beveled bezel''' - The ''bezel'' is the ring around the edge of watches and screens. This one's {{w|bevel}}ed, which means it's cut at an angle.
* '''Bezeled bevel''' - Punning on the above. Doesn't make much sense, but could mean that it features a beveled edge which is surrounded by a bezel.
* '''Seedless''' - Fruit such as grapes can be "seedless", which means that they're grown from a special {{w|cultivar}} that doesn't grow seeds in the normal way. Making a phone seedless probably won't do anything, but {{w|Random seed|it might hurt}} its {{w|random number generator}}.
** [[XKCD Phone 3]] was boneless.
* '''Water resistant down to 30 meters and below 50''' - {{w|Water resistance}} is often measured in terms of how deep an object can be submerged, since pressure increases with depth. In this case, the phone can be submerged to almost any depth, but there's an odd lacuna between 30 meters and 50 meters. It also plays with the confusion in describing depths greater than 50m as "below 50". Alternatively, this might indicate the phone must remain dry above 50 meters altitude.
** [[xkcd Phone]] and [[XKCD Phone 3]] could drown. The latter was otherwise waterproof. [[xkcd Phone 2]] was only waterproof internally.
* '''Turing-complete''' - A computer is {{w|Turing completeness|Turing complete}} if it can perform all the operations needed to simulate a {{w|Turing machine}}. All modern computers are usually described as Turing complete, which would make this not very impressive, but no computer can ever be Turing complete in the truest sense (since they can only ever have a finite amount of memory) - if the xkcd Phone 4 is truly a universal computer, it's ''very'' impressive indeed.
* '''Gregorian/Julian calendar date switch''' - The {{w|Julian calendar}} is the predecessor to the modern {{w|Gregorian calendar}} - the difference is that the two calendars calculate leap years differently. The Julian calendar is still used occasionally - mainly by Eastern Orthodox Christians - but it's not something so vital that it needs a hardwired switch on the front of the phone.
* '''''SpaceX'' impact protection: when dropped, phone lands on barge''' - The rocket company {{w|SpaceX}} recently trialed a {{w|SpaceX reusable launch system development program|reusable rocket stage}} which after separating from the launch vehicle, lands on a {{w|Autonomous spaceport drone ship|drone barge}} to be reused. The alt-text pokes fun at the number of SpaceX rockets that [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3wZRdg-Tmo crashed and exploded] before they got the landing gear right.
* '''Parallel port''' - A {{w|parallel port}} is a type of interface which transfers high-volume simultaneous data. It was often used to connect printers and other devices to computers, but was generally considered obsolete by the time smartphones began to appear on the market, and would be very bulky and slow compared to the USB ports generally used in phones. It was commonly found together with {{w|serial port}}s, which are used for low-volume sequential data such as [[485: Depth|mouse]] [[1110: Click and Drag|movements]]. Here it is paired with a serial interface for analog data with parallel outputs for several people.
* '''12 headphone jacks''' - Phones often include a single headphone jack to allow the user to privately listen to a call, play music, etc. Twelve of them would be pointless overkill, especially given the difficulty of getting twelve people close enough to all use their headphones. Presumably joking about the [http://www.businessinsider.com.au/apple-headphone-jack-iphone-side-effects-2016-7#/#smaller-headphone-makers-would-be-at-a-disadvantage-4 constant rumours] that Apple's next iPhone will not have any headphone jacks, and the weird vents on the bottom of the phone.
* '''Onboard cloud''' - The "cloud" is a catch-all term for the use of remote computers to store data, providing a backup if all local copies are lost and allowing the data to be accessed from a broad network. An "onboard cloud" would thus be a contradiction in terms, and appears to be a marketing ploy to use the "cloud" buzzword to describe the device's onboard storage capacity.
* '''New BrightGloTM display incorporates genetically spliced jellyfish protein (should have used the glowing genes, not the stinging ones)''' - {{w|Aequorea victoria}} jellyfish contain a protein called {{w|green fluorescent protein}}, the gene for which has been isolated and can be used in many ways. Unfortunately, they took the wrong gene, and ended up getting [http://bmcgenomics.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12864-015-1568-3 one of the hundreds of proteins from jellyfish venom], which will presumably mean that touching the screen becomes a painful experience.
* '''✓ Certified''' - Not certified for anything in particular.
* '''Software-defined''' {{w|Software-defined radio}}s are quite popular in some areas, meaning the radio hardware is quite universal and can be adapted to different radio protocols just by changing software. SDR would actually be quite a nice feature for a cellphone. Of course it doesn't specify if it's the radio that is software defined.
* '''Exposed ductwork''' - A phone shouldn't even have ductwork, unless it has a very sophisticated cooling system, but this could supply air to the dog whistle. Exposed ductwork is a trademark of {{w|Bowellism|Bowellist}} architecture such as the {{w|Lloyd's Building}} in London and the {{w|Pompidou Centre}} in Paris. Exposed ductwork is also considered a crucial flaw in a death star. May also refer to a transparent window in the side of the phone allowing the user to see the circuitry inside, similar to computer cases with transparent side panels popular among DIY computing enthusiasts.
* '''Voice interaction: {{w|Siri (software)|Siri}}, {{w|Cortana (software)|Cortana}}, {{w|Google Now}} and {{w|Amazon Echo|Alexa}} respond simultaneously''' - These are all {{w|intelligent personal assistant software}} (from Apple, Microsoft, Google and Amazon respectively) and all do the same thing: control your phone and answer questions using speech recognition. Having all four talk at once would mean you'd have a total cacophony while gaining nothing.
** [[XKCD Phone 3]] might have included Siri.

* '''Did you know "4" is "IV" in Roman numerals?®©™''' - the tenth version of Apple's {{w|operating system}} for its {{w|Macintosh computer}} was labeled {{w|OS X}}, which was intended to be read as "oh ess ten". {{w|Steve Jobs}} was irritated that everyone else preferred "oh ess ecks". This phrase is labeled with trademark and copyright symbols, as if someone desires it to be the product's {{w|tagline}} but has poor understanding of relevant laws. In particular, "<big>{{w|™}}</big>" is a symbol for {{w|unregistered trademark}}s while "<big>{{w|®}}</big>" is a symbol for {{w|registered trademark}}s. If the phrase were an unregistered trademark, the owner would be prohibited from using "<big>{{w|®}}</big>".

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Smartphones]]