1350: Lorenz

2014-04-02T23:14:13Z

Mitwilsch: /* Explanation */ Added the mobile site (m.xkcd.com) to the explanation for xkcd URLs not working.

{{comic
| number = 1350
| date = April 1, 2014
| title = Lorenz
| image = 1350_lorenz_loop.png
| titletext = Every choice, no matter how small, begins a new story
}}

{{incomplete|All possible dialogues are not yet accounted for}}

==Explanation==
This comic is an April fools comic with crowd sourced content. Since April 1st 2014 was a Tuesday, this comic is not in the normal sequence Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

This comic is dynamic and needs interaction by the viewer. There seems to be a bug, where <nowiki>xkcd.com</nowiki> (http and https) are the only functioning URLs that display this comic. The URLs <nowiki>www.xkcd.org</nowiki> and <nowiki>m.xkcd.com</nowiki>, don't seem to work, instead displaying the previous comic, [[1349: Shouldn%27t Be Hard]]

{{w|HTTP cookie|Cookies}} are required to see this page properly.

It appears that new panels may be generated by Randall in near real time as user suggestions to dialog is submitted. The dialogue options are likely based on click-through rates and hence will change over day based on which choices are clicked most using {{w|A/B_testing|A/B measurement techniques..}} This will mean that the most popular choices for dialogue line will prevail as the statistics build up. In some cases, dialogue line options do not depend on the continuity of the storyline followed, suggesting that some parts of the story are planned. For example, do several of the storylines involve one of the two main charachters waking up and for instance telling the other character, “I had the strangest dream…” or even reliving the dream again. This may be due to common submissions across storylines as well.

Every panel has a "permalink" option which generates a unique URL for all the choices made by the reader -- so for example http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:26c8dcea-b9aa-11e3-8002-002590d77bdd will take you to a particular place in the selected choices.

The title 'Lorenz' is referring to {{w|Edward Norton Lorenz}} who among other subjects was famous for {{w|Chaos theory}}. The title is a reference to that the story line of today's comic will include most (all?) of the user submitted dialogue and hence will in nature be chaotic. In addition, the title text, "Every choice, no matter how small", is a reference to the butterfly effect, a phrase coined by Edward Lorenz to describe how a small initial change can lead to wide variations in outcome in a chaotic system.

This comic is an example of a {{w|Choose Your Own Adventure}} story.

Many of the storylines involve Pokemon battles featuring Pikachu, a very popular pokemon. Pikachu uses a number of different moves, none of which are from the Pokemon games. These moves are labelled as "Not very effective".
Variably, Pikachu uses the following moves:
Granite - Pikachu appears atop a granite platform.
Faceless - Pikachu's face disappears.
Thief - Pikachu is wearing hat guy's hat.
Ink - Pikachu is covered in ink.
Radicality - Pikachu is on a skateboard

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}
:[An accurate transcript will be impossible to create because the comic changes over time..]

There are many options. Not everyone will see the same options. We are trying to capture as many options as possible in the transcript below. '''The order and options has changed since the transcripter captured the dialogue'''....The dialogue is likely based on click-through rates and hence will change over time based on which choices are clicked most using {{w|A/B_testing|A/B measurement techniques..}}

Often, when a panel is without any choices to make, there is only the option "Continue" to see the next panel.

'''1st Pane:''' ([http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:be7a3304-b685-11e3-8001-94de80a03a29 permalink]) 
Hat Guy:
* Refresh... No new email... Refresh .. No new tweets... Refresh...
* These stupid tiles... I'll just play one more game.
* These stupid tiles... I'll just play one more game. [There are two completely separate branches with this same text. In one of them, it's written "i'll" in lowercase rather than "I'll".]
* Oh. Hey. There's some kind of political thing going on.
* Let's see if BSD is any easier to install nowadays.
* Gravity. Lots of it.

:'''2nd Pane: Refresh Branch''' ([http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:6479d184-b9a0-11e3-b947-94de80a03a39 permalink]) 
:Dave:
:* So you're still refusing to use Facebook?
:* Wanna build a snowman?
:* Hey. I hear Godot is in town. Wanna try to meet him?
:* You know. Your car's on fire.

:'''2nd Pane: Stupid Tiles Branch''' ([http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:79f036ac-b9a0-11e3-9003-94de80a03a39 permalink]) 
:[Dave visits Hat Guy.]
:Dave:
:* There's something weird out on the lawn.
:* There's a dinosaur at the door.
:* I heard home depot has 1024 bathroom tiles.
:* I think I saw a "4096" tile outside somewhere.

::'''3rd Pane: Something Weird Branch''' 
::Hat Guy:
::* This is an apartment. We don't have a lawn.
::* I have a lawn?
::* I hope it's not a bobcat this time.
::* If you reprogrammed the squirrel laser to target hipsters again...

:::'''4th-5th Panes: Apartment Branch''' 
:::[Hat Guy and Dave leave the house. They pass by a moat.]
:::Dave:
:::* OK, two weird things.
:::* I can see a creeper down there.
:::* Is this 1-1 from Mario?
:::* See? It's like a glitch in the Matrix.
:::* This isn't where I left that...

::::'''6th Pane: Two Weird Things Branch''' 
::::Dave:
::::* I count three.
::::* Why is there a gap here?
::::* Who tiled the moat?

::::'''6th Pane: Creeper Branch''' 
::::Hat Guy: Damn Griefers.

::::'''6th Pane: Mario Branch''' 
::::[Hat Guy and Dave pass by a tree.]
::::Dave:
::::* Why does that tree looks fake?
::::* Actually, it's the final castle. Grab your Fire Flower!
::::* It's over this way.
::::* I've never been this far before!

:::::'''7th-11th Panes: Fake Tree Branch''' 
:::::Narrator: A wild Pikachu appeared!
:::::Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Theft"!
:::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
:::::Narrator: ...
:::::Pikachu: Um...

:::::'''7th Pane: Never This Far Branch''' 
:::::Dave: Are you going insane again?

::::'''6th Pane: Matrix Glitch Branch''' 
::::Hat Guy:
::::* How far can we go?
::::* What the fuck?!
::::* How... How do we get everything back?

:::'''4th-5th Panes: Lawn Question Branch''' 
:::[Hat Guy and Dave leave the house. They pass by a moat.]
:::Dave:
:::* Hmmm, did you order a moat?
:::* I don't remember this being here.
:::* Look how deep it goes!
:::* It looks like I can see Moria from here.

::::'''6th Pane: Order Moat Branch''' 
::::Hat Guy:
::::* It helps keep bobcats out.
::::* Of course. All cool kids have moats in their yards.
::::* I don't have the best rerlationship with my mailman.
::::* Yep. Delivered in two days, courtesy of Amazon Prime.

::::'''6th Pane: Don't Remember Branch''' 
::::Hat Guy:
::::* It has begun! That's one of the first holes in reality.
::::* I wanted to jump over the massive sinkhole, but nooo, someone just had to find out what was down there.
::::* Oh, I had the moving company install it last week.
::::* We poop in it.
::::* Finally got you out of the damn house.

:::::'''7th Pane: Hole in Reality Branch''' 
:::::Hat Guy:
:::::* I've been working on a theory that 2048 is a tool for the old ones to open up portals to this reality.
:::::* What about black holes? Those don't count?
:::::* We must go deeper.

::::::'''7th-13th Panes: Damn House Branch''' 
::::::Narrator: A wild Pikachu appeared!
::::::Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Ink Cloud"!
::::::Narrator: ...
::::::Pikachu: Um...
::::::Pikachu: Well then.
::::::Pikachu: I might have left surprises in that direction.

::::'''6th Pane: Look How Deep Branch''' 
::::Dave:
::::* I wonder if we can get someone to fall in?
::::* I'm going in. You can come if you want to. I think I see stars down there.
::::* That was a missing opportunity.
::::* I should come outside more often.

::::'''6th Pane: Moria Branch''' 
::::Hat Guy:
::::* You see Moria from everywhere, Dave.
::::* Yeah, who did you think gave them a balrog?
::::* Moria is an anagram of Mario!

:::::'''7th-10th Panes: Moria Everywhere Branch''' 
:::::Narrator: A wild Pikachu appeared!
:::::Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Ink Cloud"!
:::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
:::::Narrator:
:::::* Google Maps didn't warn me of this.
:::::* Enemy Pikachu used "The Discrete Metric"!
:::::* Gathered the ink!

::::::'''11th-21th Panes: Google Maps Branch''' 
::::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
::::::Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Uplift!"
::::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
::::::Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Cute Face!"
::::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
::::::Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Faceless"!
::::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
::::::Narrator: Where's Twitch when I need help?
::::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
::::::Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Abandonment"!
::::::Narrator: It's not very effective...

::::::'''11th-15th Panes: Discrete Metric Branch''' 
::::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
::::::Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Extrude"!
::::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
::::::Narrator: ...
::::::Pikachu: Um...
::::::Pikachu:
::::::* Now I only have Struggle left. Tie?
::::::* We are the knights who say Ni!
::::::* What is even going on here?

:::::::'''16th Pane: Struggle Branch''' 
:::::::Pikachu: No fair!

::::::'''11th-13th Panes: Gathered Ink Branch''' 
::::::Narrator: It's not very effective...
::::::Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Granite"!
::::::Narrator: It's not very effective...

:::::'''7th-10th Panes: Balrog Branch''' 
:::::Hat Guy:
:::::* One does not simple "give" a balrog.
:::::* What? You weren't using it!
:::::* Gift-wrapping's the hardest part.

:::::'''7th Pane: Anagram Branch''' 
:::::[Hat Guy and Dave pass by a tree.]
:::::Dave: Not idly do the leaves of Lorien fall.

:::'''4th-12th Panes: Bobcat Branch''' 
:::[A giant hole appears and they fall into it.]
:::Hat Guy and Dave: Aaaaa...
:::[Hat Guy wakes up.]
:::Hat Guy: Gasp [Goes to his desk.]
:::Hat Guy: Yawn [Sits at his desk.]
:::Hat Guy:
:::* Might as well clear more tiles.
:::* Definitely not going outside today.
:::* Thank God it wasn't a bobcat.
:::* Hmmm... I should buy a shovel.

::::'''13th Pane: Clear More Tiles Branch''' 
::::[Dave visits Hat Guy again.]
::::Dave:
::::* Um, there's a hole in your lawn...
::::* There's someone at the door looking for you.
::::* I made an apple pie.
::::* If you want to do that, I'm rebuilding my bathroom this afternoon.

:::::'''14th Pane: Hole in the Lawn Branch''' 
:::::Hat Guy:
:::::* If it doesn't lead to a 1024 tile, I'm leaving.
:::::* Damn bobcats.
:::::* I just had a dream about that.

::::::'''15th-16th Panes: Damn Bobcats Branch''' 
::::::Dave:
::::::* Well it was here...
::::::* I don't think it was bobcats this time. Unless they have backshoes...

::::::'''15th-22th Panes: Dream Branch''' 
::::::[Hat Guy and Dave go outside again and fall in the hole again~.]
::::::Hat Guy and Dave: Aaaaa...
::::::[Hat Guy wakes up, leaves the bed and finds a boomerang.]
::::::Hat Guy:
::::::* It looks like is [sic] fell from space.
::::::* I hope this isn't just another one of those dreams that keeps coming back at you.
::::::* I hope this was not thrown by a bobcat.

:::::::'''23th-26th Panes: Space Branch''' 
:::::::[Hat Guy throwns the boomerang away and it hits something.]
:::::::Crash!
:::::::[Hat Guy runs away.]

:::::::'''23th-34th Panes: Coming Back Branch''' 
:::::::[Hat Guy throws the boomerang twice, only for it to return to him both times.]
:::::::Hat Guy: Hm. I was expecting a shark.
:::::::[Hat Guy throwns the boomerang again, and it returns to him again.]

:::::::'''23th-30th Panes: Thrown by Bobcat Branch''' 
:::::::[Hat Guy throws the boomerang, only for it to return to him .]
:::::::Hat Guy: There's a mesage written on it.
:::::::[Hat Guy throws the boomerang again. It hits something.]
:::::::Crash!
:::::::[Hat Guy runs away.]

::::'''13th Pane: Thank God Branch''' 
::::Dave:
::::* You just got a package. It's by the door.
::::* Why is there a bobcat on your lawn?
::::* There's somewhere [sic] weird out on the lawn.
::::* Hey do you know why there's a giant hole in the yard?

::::'''14th Pane: Something Weird Branch''' 
::::Hat Guy:
::::* This seems familiar.
::::* Hold up. I need to get my wingsuit first.
::::* I hope it's not a giant hole.
::::* I have a bad feeling about this.

::::'''15th-18th Pane: Familiar Branch''' 
::::[Hat Guy and Dave go outside.]
::::Hat Guy: I hope it's not a velociraptor.

::::'''15th-18th Pane: Hope Branch''' 
::::[Hat Guy and Dave go outside. They pass by a tree.]
::::Dave: How disappointed are you?
::::Hat Guy:
::::* I was expecting a bobcat.
::::* Oh? That's the other tree.
::::* Eh, not that much.

::::'''14th-16th Panes: Do You Know Why Branch''' 
::::[Hat Guy and Dave go outside.]
::::Hat Guy: I swear if it's a bobcat.
::::Hat Guy:
::::* Why did you bring me here?
::::* This dream has been looping for years, and yet we never tire of it. Why is that?

:::::'''17th Pane: Dream Loop Branch''' 
:::::[There is a gap in the ground. Hat Guy jumps over it, Dave looks into it.]

::::'''13th-14th Panes: Buy Shovel Branch''' 
::::[Hat Guy looks at his screen wondering.]
::::Hat Guy:
::::* Wow! Shovels sure are expensive!
::::* Shovels can't be actually made out of two sticks and a row of rocks?
::::* How can there be 36 types of shovel??!
::::* These prices are insane! I wonder if you can rent a shovel...

:::::'''15th-18th Panes: Sticks and Rocks Branch''' 
:::::[Hat Guy is wondering more. Dave comes. They connect their laptops. Dave is wondering. Hat Guy tries something at Dave's laptop.]

:::'''4th-5th Panes: Squirrel Laser Branch''' 
:::[Hat Guy and Dave go outside.]
:::Hat Guy:
:::* Let's just say we won't have to worry about parking.
:::* No, now they're just wearing wigs ironically.
:::* Things may have gotten out of control a little.
:::* At least it improved their haircuts.

::'''3rd Pane: Bathroom Tiles Branch''' 
::Hat Guy:
::* But how many bathrooms?
::* That's 2^5 more than Ikea, I need to see for myself.
::* Let's go, I can keep playing on my phone on the drive.
::* Pfft. Amateurs. Let's go mock them.

::'''3rd Pane: Dinosaur Branch''' 
::T-Rex:
::* Self-doubt crippled my arms. Can I have yours?
::* I need a hand!
::* Did you think he was joking?
::* Sorry for just barging in, I couldn't reach the doorbell.

:::'''4th Pane: Crippled Arms Branch''' 
:::T-Rex:
:::* Never answer your mobile phone while I am addressing you!
:::* Also, have you heard about Tumblr?
:::* Also I have some trenchant observations on language and philosophy to make.
:::* It's not like you're using them.

::::'''5th Pane: Mobile Phone Branch''' 
::::[T-Rex is going to step on a house.]
::::T-Rex:
::::* I think you just entered a dead zone.
::::* Kids these days.
::::* Die you monster.

:::::'''6th Pane: Dead Zone Branch''' 
:::::[Hat Guy is inside the house. He wakes up from a dream, goes outside and finds a boomerang.]

:::::'''6th Pane: Kids These Days Branch''' 
:::::[Hat Guy is inside the house. He wakes up from a dream, and goes back to his computer.]

:::::'''6th Pane: Die You Monster Branch''' 
:::::[Dave is inside the house. He wakes up from a dream, and starts singing.]
:::::Dave: [Singing] ''I woke up like this.''

::::'''5th-11th Panes: Language and Philosophy Branch''' 
::::[T-Rex is going to step on a house.]
::::* T-Rex: Also, your brain is like this house.
:::: [Hat Guy is inside the house. He wakes up from a dream and goes back to his computer.]

:'''2nd Pane: Stupid Tiles Branch''' ([http://xkcd.com/1350/#p:ffdd8916-b9a7-11e3-8001-002590d77bdd]) 
:[Dave visits Hat Guy.]
:Dave:
:* What's with those tiny games you keep playing, anyway?
:* Isn't that sort of meaningless?
:* Up for a dangerous experiment with no pay?
:* You won't believe what just fell off of your roof.

:'''2nd-3rd Panes: Political Thing Branch''' 
:Laptop: "...and let's go live to the debate."
:[Two politicians are debating on TV.]
:Politician 1:
:* In contrast to my oppponent, who I quote, "Never liked Firefly much to begin with."
:* ...but even if you tied enough birds to the car, would you get them to take off in unison?
:* And if elected, I vow to win this war on Christmas once and for all!
:* I agree with my opponent all all [sic] issues and I think his economic plan is fantastic!

::'''4th Pane: Tied Birds Branch''' 
::Politician 2:
::* Tie a predatory bird to the car with a somewhat shorter rope so that it will scare off the rest of the birds without being able to reach them.
::* Training. That's why I support the "Airlift Act", which would put more resources into the hands of bird educators everywhere.
::* By opening and closing an umbrella near them.
::* One word: Fiscal hawks.

:::'''5th Pane: Airlift Act Branch''' 
:::Politician 1:
:::* But is "Airlift" an acronym?
:::* But you must agree that a bitd in the hand is worth more than three educators in the bush.
:::* Incredible!
:::* Wait... Is that like people who educate birds, or birds that teach?

::::'''6th Pane: Airlift an Acronym''' 
::::Dave:
::::* There are birds outside tied to a car.
::::* The owls in our barn are forming a union.
::::* Or course: Avian Implemented Reuseable Lifter and Ingenuous Flight Technology!

:::::'''7th Pane: Car Branch''' 
:::::Hat Guy:
:::::* Cool, let's see who we should vote for.
:::::* I know who I'm voting for.
:::::* How many birds?

:::::'''8th-9th Panes: How Many Branch''' 
:::::Dave:
:::::* I call her "Serenity."
:::::* So when you said birds...

:::::'''10th-13th Panes: You Said Birds Branch''' 
:::::Hat Guy:
:::::* Wait. The birds are inside!?
:::::* I needed to escape from politics anyway.

:::::'''14th-19th Panes: Birds Inside Branch''' 
:::::White Hat: Want to forget your dreams? There's a pill for that!

:'''2nd-3rd Panes: BSD Branch''' 
:[Hat Guy is confused, staring at his laptop.]
:Hat Guy: ??
:Hat Guy:
:* Now I just need to look up what a "beard error" is...
:* Wait. What's on this other partition?
:* Why is Python importing Skynet?
:* My keyboard has to support SSH over USB?

::'''4th-7th Panes: Beard Error Branch''' 
::[Hat Guy has ?? next to his head to signify confusion. [[Dave]] walks in. (continue) Dave is on the other side of the desk with his own laptop computer. Both the computers are connected through Ethernet cable. The two characters are typing on the computer. The two stop typing. Dave has ??? next to his head. Dave had stepped back while the character is checking on Dave's laptop computer. The character is holding something rectangular.]
::Dave:
::* The USB cable appears to be mono-directional.
::* Kernel mites?
::* I'm not sure rubbing butter on it will help
::* Yep. It's haunted.

:::'''8th-12th Panes: Rubbing Butter Branch''' 
:::[Dave and Hat Guy are handling their computers more aggressively.]
:::Hat Guy: ARGH!
:::[They both stop. Hat Guy walks away, his chair turned 180 degrees. Pushing aside the chair, the character returns with a fiery blowtorch while wearing goggles.]
:::Dave: [holding up a finger] Um.
:::[Hat Guy's computer was so burned, not only steam is coming out of the computer, but even the desk is noticeably burnt. The cable (apparently also burned) hangs from Dave's laptop computer. The used blowtorch is clumsily laid sideways be the side of the desk. Both Hat Guy (whose goggles are pushed off his eye) and Dave are looking at the calamity. The chair is almost out of view. The goggles are on the floor while the chair is nowhere to be seen. Dave and Hat Guy are walking away from the scene.]
:::Dave:
:::* Are you all of a sudden in the mood for Thai food?
:::* Let's try OpenBSD next time...
:::* If you'd done the other one, maybe the popcorn would have popped.
:::* Let's see if rubbing some bacon on it will work.
:::* Let's try Linux next time...

::::'''13th-14th Panes: OpenBSD Branch''' 
::::[13th panel is of a panned view. Dave and Hat Guy are walking on a path away from a house.]
::::[14th panel is back to a "normal camera view".]
::::Dave:
::::* Okay then.
::::* Let's go exploring!
::::* I love Windows.
::::* Guess not.

::'''4th-7th Panes: Other Partition Branch''' 
::[Hat Guy has ??? next to his head to signify confusion. [[Dave]] walks in. Dave is on the other side of the desk with his own laptop computer. Both the computers are connected through Ethernet cable. The two characters are typing on the computer. The two stop typing. Dave has ??? next to his head. Dave had stepped back while Hat Guy is checking on Dave's laptop computer. Hat Guy is holding something rectangular.]
::Dave:
::* Maybe if you cross connect the serial port to video port you'll be able to send the video directly in as an input for the password
::* What's a segfault?
::* I think the cameras need to face each other.
::* I'm not sure spaghetti works as a USB cable...

::'''8th Pane: Video Password Branch''' 
::[Hat Guy and Dave are at sea, both emitting ripples. A shark's fin can be seen close to Dave.]
::Dave:
::* It worked fine for the shark
::* We're definitely getting closer though
::* That didn't work!
::* It would have worked for Solaris.
::* Look, it made perfect sense at the time.
::* Still simpler than it used to be, I guess.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:April fool's comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Bobcats]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Dinosaurs]]
[[Category:Dreams]]
[[Category:Firefly]]
[[Category:Google Maps]]
[[Category:Linux]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Pokémon]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]

explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1350: Lorenz