explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

2863: Space Typography

2023-12-11T17:35:20Z

Pigsaw's Minion:

{{comic
| number = 2863
| date = December 4, 2023
| title = Space Typography
| image = space_typography_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x239px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = And over heeee[...]eeeere (i)s Saturn.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an OPTIMISTIC ALIEN WHO MESURES SPACE TYPOGRAPHICALY - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
Randall has created a sentence with the property wherein, when printed in {{w|Times New Roman}} font, the distances of the "i" letters from the first letter are proportional to the radii of the orbits of the innermost five planets in the {{w|Solar System}}. These are the only letters in the sentence that have a dot over the letter (there are no "j"s in the sentence) or elsewhere (there are no periods, colons, semicolons, or other dot-containing symbols). He suggests that if you get lost traveling among these planets, you can use the dots as a map.

This won't actually be a very useful map. When traveling between planets, it's not enough to know where the planet's orbit is, you also need to know where it is along the orbit. Additionally, if you are truly lost then you likely do not know where ''you'' actually are, and which 'way' you are heading, though you can probably at least locate the sun if you are indeed within our inner solar system.

The sentence is self-referential, since it talks about using typography to measure distances in space, and this makes it a useful mnemonic. The "optimistic" in the sentence could indicate that the aliens in question are highly optimistic that this kind of "map" would be useful for navigating a star system where planets orbit in ellipses, rather than being in static positions along a line (as is so often depicted in line-ups of the Solar System's planets).

The title text appends the sentence with a section for identifying Saturn. It contains an ellipsis in brackets, which normally signifies that an indeterminate number of 'e's has been omitted from the sentence, seemingly to represent Saturn's large orbital radius as the next "i" in "is". The trick is that actually appending the sentence literally, brackets and all, after the original sentence (so that we get "Optimistic aliens measure space typographically. And over heeee[...]eeeere (i)s Saturn.") actually puts the dot on the last "i" at Saturn's orbit. The extra dots and periods beside the six 'i's only serve as punctuation and spacing; the parentheses, besides spacing, call attention to the 'i' in the title text, where the black emphasis of the comic is not available. They're also reminiscent of {{w|Saturn's rings}}, although they are much too large and off-center.

Similar sentences with varying numbers of "e"s could be used to continue out to any planet or other body which does not contain the letter "i" – which is all of the remaining planets and minor planets, with the exception of Eris. However, the strings of "e"s would get longer and longer, to the point that it might be necessary to write down how many of them are to be used – about 59 "e"s for Saturn, starting from the Sun – which negates any mnemonic value the sentence may have had and might as well just be replaced with a table of orbital ephemerides.

==Accuracy==
[[File:2863OrbitComparison.png|thumb|Comparison between orbits of Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, and Jupiter to the dots in the comic]]
Measuring the distances based on the provided image results in these approximate distances:

{| class="wikitable" style="margin:auto"
|-
! Planet !! Pixel offset !! Relative Distance in Comic !! Actual Distance in AU<ref>https://www.jpl.nasa.gov/edu/pdfs/scaless_reference.pdf</ref>
|-
| Mercury || 93 || 0.3907 || 0.39
|-
| Venus || 169 || 0.7101 || 0.72
|-
| Earth || 238 || 1 || 1
|-
| Mars || 362 || 1.5210 || 1.52
|-
| Jupiter || 1229 || 5.1639 || 5.2
|}

Saturn is 9.54 astronomical units from the sun, for which 13 middle 'e's would be required in "here" to make the title text work.

The picture also contains a standard representation of Times New Roman, with no changes to kerning or tracking.

Continuing the idea would look like this:

"Optimistic aliens measure space typographically. And over heeeeeeeeeeeeere (i)s Saturn. And over heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere is Uranus."

{| class="wikitable" style="margin:auto"
|-
! Planet !! Number of 'e's needed in "here"
|-
| Saturn || 13
|-
| Uranus || 49
|-
| Neptune || 58
|}

==Transcript==
:[A grayed-out sentence in the Times New Roman font reads "Optimistic aliens measure space typographically". The "O" in "Optimistic" is dark black and indicated as representing the Sun (not to scale). The dots of the letters "i" in the sentence are similarly dark black. The dot in the first "i" in "Optimistic" is indicated as representing Mercury; the dot in the second "i" represents Venus; the dot in the third "i" represents Earth. The dot in the "i" in "aliens" is indicated as representing Mars. The dot in the "i" in "typographically" is indicated as representing Jupiter. A measurement bar indicates that the distance between the "O" and the third "i" in "Optimistic" (representing Earth) is equivalent to 1 AU (astronomical unit).]

:[Caption below the panel:]

:Space tip: if you're ever lost in the inner Solar System, you can just type out the phrase "Optimistic aliens measure space typographically" in Times New Roman and use the dots as a map.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Tips]]

2122: Size Venn Diagram

2023-02-14T21:46:27Z

Pigsaw's Minion:

{{comic
| number = 2122
| date = March 11, 2019
| title = Size Venn Diagram
| image = size_venn_diagram.png
| titletext = Terms I'm going to start using: The Large Dipper, great potatoes, the Big Hadron Collider, and Large Orphan Annie.
}}

==Explanation==

[[File:Symmetrical_5-set_Venn_diagram.svg|thumb|upright=0.5|{{w|Branko Grünbaum}}'s multi-set Venn diagram strategy from 1975, less symmetric than Randall's.]]
This comic is a {{w|Venn diagram}} illustrating the complete set of possible intersections of five different size adjectives: "little", "large", "small", "great" and “big”. Each unique intersection contains a short list of nouns that can be preceded by each of its intersecting adjectives.

For example, "flying fox" (a type of bat) appears at the intersection of "large", "small", and "great", because the species {{w|large flying fox}}, {{w|small flying fox}}, and {{w|great flying fox}} all exist, but there is no such species as a "big flying fox" or a "little flying fox". Similarly, humans have organs named the {{w|small intestine}} and {{w|large intestine}}, but no "little intestine", "great intestine", or "big intestine".

Some descriptors are applied in combination to their noun, rather than individually; for example, "planet" is placed in both the "little" and "big" groups in reference to the 2008 video game ''{{w|Little Big Planet}}''.

In the title text, [[Randall]] declares that he will start intentionally using term combinations that don't appear in the above diagram, presumably to ensure every intersection contains at least one term.

A similar concept can be seen in [[181: Interblag]], but in a tabular form rather than a Venn diagram.

===List of items in the diagram===
The following table lists all size/noun combinations that the Venn diagram can generate, with a description of each.
{| class="wikitable sortable"
!Item
!Big !! Great !! Large !! Little !! Small !! # Regions
|-
|width=10%|'''Aunt'''
|width=17.5%|
|width=17.5%| [[wiktionary:great-aunt|sister of one's grandparent]]
|width=17.5%|
|width=17.5%|
|width=17.5%|
|width=2.5%| 1
|-
|'''Bang Theory'''
|currently-accepted {{w|Big Bang|scientific theory}} that explains the origin of the universe; also a {{w|The Big Bang Theory|TV sitcom}}|| || || || ||1
|-
|'''Barrier Reef'''
|
|{{w|Great Barrier Reef|world's largest coral reef system}}, off the coast of Australia
|
|
|
|1
|-
|'''Bear Lake'''
|a {{w|Big Bear Lake, California|lake and surrounding community in California}}, in the mountains
|a {{w|Great Bear Lake|lake in Canada}}, in the Northwest Territories -- the largest lake entirely in Canada, and the fourth-largest in North America
|
|
|
|2
|-
|'''Bend'''
| {{w|Big Bend|several geographic locations}}, including a {{w|Big Bend National Park|US National Park}} in Texas
| {{w|Great Bend (disambiguation)|several geographic locations}}, including a {{w|Great Bend, Kansas|city in Kansas}} and the description of the S-shaped curving of the {{w|Nile River}} in Egypt and Sudan
|
|
|
|2
|-
|'''Billed Seed Finch'''
|
|{{w|Great-billed seed finch|species of finch}}, described in 1851
|{{w|Large-billed seed finch|species of finch}}, described in 1789
|
|
|2
|-
|'''Blue'''
|nickname for [https://www.ibm.com IBM] and the {{w|New York Giants}}, also [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095250 a movie] and a stage in {{w|F-Zero}} and borrowed into Mario Kart
|
|{{w|large blue|various different butterflies}}
|
|{{w|small blue|butterfly}}, smallest found in the UK
|3
|-
|'''Blue Heron'''
|
|{{w|Great Blue Heron|species of heron}} that measures 91–137 cm (36–54 in) long
|
|{{w|Little Blue Heron|species of heron}} that measures about 60 cm (24 in) long
|
|2
|-
|'''Board'''
| nickname for the {{w|New York Stock Exchange}} || || || ||
|1
|-
|'''Cardiac Vein'''
|
|{{w|Great cardiac vein|left coronary vein}}
|
|
|{{w|Small cardiac vein|heart vein on the right side}}
|2
|-
|'''Circle'''
|
|{{w|Great circle|largest possible circle}} that can be drawn on a sphere; the {{w|equator}} is an example of one on the Earth
|
|The {{w|Little_Circle|Little Circle}}, a group of political reformists based in Manchester, UK in the early 1800s
|{{w|Circle_of_a_sphere|a circle that lies on a sphere}} without passing through its center (which would make it a great circle)
|3
|-
|'''Claims Court'''
|
|
|
|
|{{w|Small claims court|judicial court}} that handles cases involving only relatively small amounts of money
|1
|-
|'''Depression'''
|
|{{w|Great Depression|period of prolonged economic downturn}} that affected the world economy in the 1930's
|
|
|
|1
|-
|'''Dipper'''
|{{w|Big Dipper|subset collection of stars}} in the constellation {{w|Ursa Major}}
|
|
|name for the constellation {{w|Ursa Minor}}
|
|2
|-
|'''Emerald'''
|
|
|{{w|Large_emerald|Geometra papilionaria}}, a bright green moth of the family {{w|Geometer_moth|Geometridae}}
|{{w|Jodis_lactearia|Jodis lactearia}}, a light green or white moth of the family {{w|Geometer_moth|Geometridae}}
|{{w|Hemistola_chrysoprasaria|Hemistola chrysoprasaria}}, a light green or yellow-white moth of the family {{w|Geometer_moth|Geometridae}}
|3
|-
|'''Enchilada'''
|The term "[[wiktionary:big enchilada|Big Enchilada]]" means a person or thing of great importance.
|
|
|
|
|1
|-
|'''End'''
|The {{w|Crankpin|bearing}} connecting a connecting rod to the crank shaft of a reciprocating engine.
| {{w|Great End|Mountain in England}}
|
|
|The {{w|Crankpin|bearing}} connecting a connecting rod to the gudgeon pin and hence the piston in a reciprocating engine.
|3
|-
|'''Eyed Conger'''
|{{w|Sea conger|type of eel}}, found in the western Pacific Ocean
|
|{{w|Large-eye conger|type of eel}}, found in the northwestern and eastern central Pacific Ocean
|
|{{w|Smalleye conger|type of eel}}, found in the eastern Indian Ocean
|3
|-
|'''Flying Fox'''
|
|{{w|Great flying fox}}
|{{w|Large flying fox}}
|
|{{w|Small flying fox}}
|3
|-
|'''Foot'''
|The well known folk-lore monster ''{{w|Bigfoot}}''
|
|
|{{w|List_of_The_Land_Before_Time_characters#Littlefoot|Main character}} in the ''{{w|Land Before Time}}'' film series
|''{{w|Smallfoot (film)|Smallfoot}}'' is an animated film that inverts the Bigfoot legend, focusing on a group of yetis that tell stories about humans.
|3
|-
|'''Forest Bat'''
|
|
|A common {{w|Large forest bat|bat}} found in Southeastern Australia
|A related {{w|Little forest bat|bat}} also found in Southeastern Australia
|
|2
|-
|'''Format'''
|
|
|{{w|Large format|anything larger than 4x5 inches in photography}}
|
|
|1
|-
|'''Foundation'''
|The BIG Foundation is a 501c3 non-profit charity
|May be a reference to Asimov’s Greater Foundation
|May be a typo. Could possibly be a reference to the Lange Foundation
|
|
|3
|-
|'''Frog'''
|Refers to someone who is important but only in a small group (Big frog in a small pond)
|
|{{w|Large frog|A South-East Asian frog species}}
|children's book [https://smile.amazon.com/Little-Frog-Crista-R-Stewart/dp/1616638702/ref=smi_www_rco2_go_smi_g5171374337?_encoding=UTF8&%2AVersion%2A=1&%2Aentries%2A=0&ie=UTF8 "The Little Frog"] by Crista R. Stewart
|{{w|Small frog|An Australian frog species}}
|4
|-
|'''Game'''
|Large animals hunted for sport or food, usually referring to the African {{w|big five game}} (lion, leopard, rhinoceros, elephant, cape buffalo); can also refer to the NFL's {{w|Super Bowl}}
|{{w|Great Game|19th Century geopolitical competition}} between the British and Russian Empires over control of Afghanistan
|{{w|Game (hunting)|Large animals}} hunted for sport or food, such as bears or moose
|
|{{w|Game (hunting)|Small animals}} hunted for sport or food, such as rabbits or ducks
|4
|-
|'''Hadron Collider'''
|
|
|{{w|Large Hadron Collider|particle accelerator}}
|
|
|1
|-
|'''Hearted'''
|[[wiktionary:bighearted|kind, generous, selfless, noble]]
|[[wiktionary:greathearted|generous, selfless, noble]]
|[[wiktionary:largehearted|generous, benevolent, noble]]
|
|
|3
|-
|'''House on the Prairie'''
|
|
|
|{{w|Little House on the Prairie|novel}} (later made into a TV show)
|
|1
|-
|'''Intestine'''
|
|
|The {{w|Large Intestine}} or colon is the last part of the digestive system.
|
|The {{w|Small Intestine}} is the part of the gastrointestinal tract (gut) immediately after the stomach, where most absorption of nutrients takes place
|2
|-
|'''Island'''
|{{w|Hawaii (island)|largest island in Hawaii}}, or numerous other islands: {{w|Big Island}}
|{{w|Great Island|in Cork Harbour, Ireland}}
|{{w|Large Island|island in the Antilles, owned by Grenada}}
|{{w|Little Island|several islands named such}}, plus a song in ''{{w|Randy Newman's Faust}}''
|{{w|Small Island (novel)|novel which was made into a movie}}
|5
|-
|'''League'''
|Nickname for top-level competition
|One of the leagues in Pokemon Go
|
|{{w|Little League Baseball|Youth baseball organization}}
|
|3
|-
|'''Lies'''
|''{{w|Big Little Lies (TV series)|Big Little Lies}}'', a novel made into a TV series; also a [[wiktionary:big lie|form of propaganda]]
|
|
|''{{w|Big Little Lies (TV series)|Big Little Lies}}'', a novel made into a TV series; also a {{w|Little Lies|Fleetwood Mac song}}
|
|2
|-
|'''Magellanic Cloud'''
|
|
|A {{w|Large Magellanic Cloud|satellite galaxy}} of the Milky Way
|
|Another {{w|Small Magellanic Cloud|satellite galaxy}} of the Milky Way
|2
|-
|'''Millimeter Telescope'''
|
|
|{{w|Large Millimeter Telescope|radio telescope}}
|
|
|1
|-
|'''One'''
|Nickname for any large natural disaster that is expected to happen in the future, such as a tsunami or an earthquake in California
|Nickname for {{w|Wayne Gretzky}}, considered by many to be the greatest ice hockey player of all time, also comedian {{w|Jackie Gleason}} and many other people ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Great_One Wikipedia disambiguation page]).
|
|affectionate term for a small person
|{{w|The Small One|A Disney animated short directed by Don Bluth}}
|4
|-
|'''Orphan Annie'''
|
|
|
|{{w|Little Orphan Annie|comic strip}}
|
|1
|-
|'''Planet'''
|Part of the video game ''{{w|Little Big Planet}}''
|
|
|Part of the video game ''{{w|Little Big Planet}}''
|
|2
|-
|'''Potatoes'''
|
|
|
|
|[[wiktionary:small potatoes|something relatively unimportant]]
|1
|-
|'''Pox'''
|
|an old name for {{w|syphilis}}
|
|
|{{w|smallpox|a deadly disease}} which was effectively eradicated by 1977
|2
|-
|'''Professor'''
|
|
|{{w|Large Professor|rap artist}}
|{{w|Little Professor|educational math toy}} (also "Little Professor Syndrome", an informal name for autism)
|
|2
|-
|'''Richard'''
|
|
|
|{{w|Little Richard|musician}}
|
|1
|-
|'''Room'''
|
|{{w|Great room|a McMansion's signature space}}
|
|{{w|White_Blood_Cells_(album)#Track_listing|Track 6}} on "White Blood Cells," the third album by {{w|The_White_Stripes|The White Stripes}}
|{{w|May Sarton|"The Small Room", a novel by May Sarton}}, also various songs: {{w|Small Room}}
|3
|-
|'''Screen'''
|[[wiktionary:big screen|another name for movies]]
|
|
|
|[[wiktionary:small screen|another name for TV]]
|2
|-
|'''Sister'''
|[[wiktionary:big sister|older female sibling]]; also [https://bioshock.fandom.com/wiki/Big_Sister a character from the influential video game Bioshock]
|
|
|[[wiktionary:little sister|younger female sibling]]; also [https://bioshock.fandom.com/wiki/Little_Sister another character from the influential video game Bioshock]
|
|2
|-
|'''Soldiers'''
|
|
|
|{{w|Little Soldiers|1996 Telugu drama film}}
|{{w|Small Soldiers|1998 movie}} about sentient animated toys at war
|2
|-
|'''Sur'''
|{{w|Big Sur|coastal region of California}} famed for its mountain scenery
|
|
|
|
|1
|-
|'''Terror'''
|
|{{w|Great Terror|One of two periods of violent political repression}}; one during {{w|Reign of Terror|the French Revolution}} between 1793 and 1794, the other in {{w|Great Purge|the Soviet Union under Josef Stalin}} between 1936 and 1938
|
|
|
|1
|-
|'''Time'''
|[[wiktionary:big time|major]], the highest level of a field
|
|
|
|[[wiktionary:small time|minor]], or modest, level of achievement
|2
|-
|'''Toothed Aspen'''
|A {{w|Populus grandidentata|tree}} native to North America
|
|Another name for the same tree
|
|
|2
|-
|'''Wall of China'''
|
|{{w|Great Wall of China|Series of fortifications}} over 13,000 miles long that served to protect various Chinese empires from raids and invasion from their north
|
|
|
|1
|-
|'''White'''
|{{w|Big White Ski Resort|ski resort in British Columbia}}
|{{w|Great white shark|species of shark}} or a {{w|Great White|rock band}}
|{{w|Pieris brassicae|a butterfly}} or {{w|Large White pig|a common breed of pig}}
|
|{{w|Dixeia|multiple species}} of {{w|Pieris rapae|butterflies}} are known as small whites
|4
|-
|'''Wonder'''
|
|
|
|{{w|Little Wonder|"Little Wonder" is a song and single by David Bowie, from the 1997 album Earthling.}}
|{{w|Small Wonder (TV series)|American sitcom}}
|2
|-
|'''World'''
|Australian company {{w|BigWorld|BigWorld}} which develops development tools for MMOs; also {{w|Big_World|a 1986 live album by Joe Jackson}}.
|Reference to either {{w|Great World City|Great World City}} or {{w|Great World Amusement Park|Great World Amusement Park}}, a Chinese shopping mall or amusement park, respectively
|
|A {{w|Little World|2013 Catalan documentary film}}
|{{w|Small_World_(board_game)|Board game by Days of Wonder}}, {{w|It's a Small World|ride at Disney parks}}, type of {{w|Small-world_network|mathematical graph.}}
|4
|-
|''no items present''
|data-sort-value=""|''n/a''
|data-sort-value=""|''n/a''
|data-sort-value=""|''n/a''
|data-sort-value=""|''n/a''
|data-sort-value=""|''n/a''
|0
|-
|''no items present''
|data-sort-value=""|''n/a''
|data-sort-value="Potentially"|???
|data-sort-value="Potentially"|???
|data-sort-value="Potentially"|???
|data-sort-value=""|''n/a''
|3
|-
|''no items present''
|data-sort-value="Potentially"|???
|data-sort-value="Potentially"|???
|data-sort-value="Potentially"|???
|data-sort-value="Potentially"|???
|data-sort-value=""|''n/a''
|4
|-
|''no items present''
|data-sort-value=""|''n/a''
|data-sort-value="Potentially"|???
|data-sort-value="Potentially"|???
|data-sort-value="Potentially"|???
|data-sort-value="Potentially"|???
|4
|-
!Item !! Big !! Great !! Large !! Little !! Small !! # Regions
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}


[A Venn diagram with five sets titled 'Big', 'Little', 'Large', 'Small' and 'Great'. Various words which can be prefixed by these titles are shown in the relevant segment.]

:Big: Bang Theory, Enchilada, Board, Sur
:Little: Orphan Annie, House on the Prairie, Richard
:Large: format, Millimeter Telescope, Hadron Collider
:Small: claims court, potatoes
:Great: Barrier Reef, Wall of China, Depression, Terror, aunt

:Big/Great: Bend, Bear Lake
:Big/Small: time, screen
:Big/Little: Dipper, Planet, lies, sister
:Little/Great: Blue Heron
:Little/Large: Professor, Forest Bat
:Big/Large: Toothed Aspen
:Large/Small: intestine, Magellanic Cloud
:Little/Small: wonder, soldiers
:Small/Great: pox, cardiac vein
:Large/Great: Billed Seed Finch

:Big/Large/Great: hearted
:Big/Small/Great: end
:Big/Little/Small: foot
:Big/Little/Great: league
:Little/Large/Great: (none)
:Big/Little/Large: foundation
:Big/Large/Small: Eyed Conger, Blue
:Little/Large/Small: emerald
:Little/Small/Great: circle, room
:Large/Small/Great: flying fox

:Big/Large/Small/Great: game, white
:Big/Little/Small/Great : world, one
:Big/Little/Large/Great : (none)
:Big/Little/Large/Small : frog
:Little/Large/Small/Great : (none)

:Big/Little/Large/Small/Great: Island

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Venn diagrams]]
[[Category:Language]]

1933: Santa Facts

2022-12-29T01:10:16Z

Pigsaw's Minion:

{{comic
| number = 1933
| date = December 25, 2017
| title = Santa Facts
| image = santa_facts.png
| titletext = We've gotten him up to 20% milk and cookies through an aggressive public campaign, but that seems to be his dietary limit. Anything above that and he starts developing nutritional deficiencies.
}}

==Explanation==
This, the second [[:Category:Christmas|Christmas comic]] in a row, provides some dubious "Facts" and "Figures" of the creature known as "Santa". We can see from the drawing that this is obviously meant to be either {{w|Santa Claus}} or a parody of Santa Claus. It is the third comic using [[:Category:Facts|Facts]] in the title.

This comic is reminiscent of the [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phones series]].

'''Type: Flying/Psychic'''
:A reference to {{w|Pokémon}}. The {{w|Gameplay_of_Pokémon#Pok%C3%A9mon_types|type}} of a Pokémon describes and determines its abilities (including attacks), affinities, and general nature. In most stories Santa Claus rides a sled pulled by flying reindeer (all other [https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Flying_(type) Flying-type] Pokémon fly under their own power) and some kind of magical power. Psychic possibly refers to his ability to know a child's activities and behavior, including when they are {{w|Santa_Claus_Is_Comin%27_to_Town| sleeping or awake}}, implying a psychic ability to read minds. There is a Pokémon based on Santa, [https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Delibird_(Pok%C3%A9mon) Delibird], although it is Ice/Flying instead of Flying/Psychic.

'''Plural: "Santa"'''
:The plural form of 'Santa' conveniently parallels that of 'reindeer' (as well as those of all species of Pokémon and the term "Pokémon" itself). In real life, "santa" means "saint" in most {{w|Romance languages}}. However "santa" is not plural in any of these languages (for example, in Portuguese the proper plural would be "santos"). Under the most common English approach for making a plural noun, Santa would have a plural of "Santas". Taking "Santa Claus" as a separate noun, the plural would be "Santa Clauses".

'''Active warrants: 5'''
:There is an active warrant for Santa's arrest in 5 jurisdictions, presumably for breaking and entering or for operating a flying sleigh without the proper licensing, while drunk, or over the speed limit.

'''Lubricated for easy passage down chimneys'''
:The diagram indicates that Santa's attire is lubricated to ease his traditional method of ingress and egress. This explanation is incomplete, however, as a great many chimneys have cross-sectional area substantially smaller than that of a normal human body, let alone a portly one, as commonly described. The common presence of chimney caps, fireplace dampers, and the like would also impede Santa's passage down a great many chimneys. That said, if we take the classic poem "{{w|A Visit from St. Nicholas}}" into account, the statement is technically true, just "lubricated" with magic rather than physical lubrication. A less classic example of Santa going down the chimney with help of magic can be seen in The Santa Clause [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBaQwGTHCL8]. "Lubricated" is also a reference to lubricated condoms - see "Ribbed" below.

'''Vertical Leap: 14 Miles'''
:For a non-magical being or object, a vertical leap of 14 miles (~23 km), ''ignoring air resistance'' would require an initial launch velocity of slightly more than 2180 feet per second (665 m/s), somewhat over twice the speed of sound. Achieving this velocity by means of bending then straightening the legs would require an acceleration of roughly 25,000 G, placing extraordinarily high demands on the strength of the legs. As Santa does not have a particularly aerodynamic shape, air resistance would increase the launch velocity and launch acceleration requirements substantially. Santa may be able to overcome these problems due to his magical nature; however, there is clearly still a limit to what this can achieve, as there is a maximum to his leaping ability.

'''Sleigh Flag of Convenience: Panama'''
:The {{w|Flag_of_convenience|Flag of Convenience}} identifies the country in which an ocean-going vessel has its registration information. Panama maintains one of the top three open registries. Owners of a vessel may choose to use an open registry to avoid labor or safety regulations of the owner's country. They may also choose such a registry to help obscure ownership of the vessel. Which concern applies in the case of Santa's sleigh is not stated, or (more likely) not known. It may also be the only type of registration available, since the north pole is not in any country, so there is no "owner's country".

:However, a ship's flag state exercises regulatory control over the vessel and is required to inspect it regularly, certify the ship's equipment and crew, and issue safety and pollution prevention documents. One suspects that this does '''not''', in fact, happen regularly with Santa's sleigh. Also, as a ''flying'' sleigh, the registry for ''ocean-going'' vessels is not applicable. Instead, it would be registered as an aircraft, with the FAA (in the U.S.), EASA (in Europe), or the equivalent in another country. Civilian aircraft have their registration number painted on their tails, but are not required to display a "flag". (However, U.S. Airways used a stylized version of a U.S. flag as a corporate logo prior to its merger with American Airlines.)

:The country being Panama may be a reference to the {{w|Panama Papers}}

'''9th in Presidential Line of Succession'''
:The {{w|United_States_presidential_line_of_succession|Presidential Line of Succession}} specifies the order in which persons may become or act as {{w|President of the United States}} if the incumbent President becomes incapacitated, dies, resigns, or is removed from office. Having Santa as the 9th in that order would place him above the {{w|United States Secretary of Agriculture|Secretary of Agriculture}}. An alternative interpretation would hold that Santa '''is''' the present Secretary of Agriculture, {{w|Tom Vilsack}}.

:Assuming Tom Vilsack is not Santa Claus, Santa is likely ineligible for the Presidency, as most origin stories of Santa have him a natural-born citizen of a European country (or of Turkey) rather than the United States. Alternately, Santa might be old enough to qualify under the "citizen at the time of the adoption of this constitution" clause, although in light of the information that Santa is actually an arthropod and/or a vampire (see below), his status as an American citizen is dubious.

'''Not technically an insect — actually an arthropod'''
:This "fact" uses an absurd misconception to correct a relatively common misconception. Absurdly, Randall has mistaken Santa for a lobster, given his bright red coloration and the surname Claus (which is pronounced the same as a lobster's "claws"). This may be an homage to the film the Nightmare Before Christmas, where Jack Skellington believes Christmas Town is led by "Sandy Claws" who is "like a lobster, huge and red".

:There is a relatively common misconception that lobsters are insects. In fact, lobsters are crustaceans, but there is a kernel of truth to the misconception, as crustaceans and insects are related (both are arthropods). Thus, the "fact" states that Lobster-Santa is not technically an insect; he is actually an arthropod.

'''Only known vampire able to enter house without being invited'''
:In traditional vampire folklore, a vampire {{tvtropes|MustBeInvited|cannot enter an abode without an invitation from the owner of the same}}. Santa, however, seems to be able to enter houses even without explicit invitation (although plenty of children do welcome him, either via written notes or by their general sentiments), so if he is a vampire he is the exception to that rule. This juxtaposes interestingly with the previous point about his arthropod nature.

:His being a vampire is perhaps related to his dressing all in red, and alleged immortality.

'''Works with Alexa'''
:May have any of several meanings, including that Alexa (Amazon's virtual assistant) is Santa's colleague, that Santa uses Alexa in his work, that Santa is somehow functionally compatible with Alexa, or a reference to various Santa-themed 'skills' that Alexa can be associated with. A common advertisement states that a product is compatible with Amazon's smart device, Alexa. But it could also be a play on the idea or fear that Alexa may be used to spy on people from the privacy of their own homes, much like what is claimed of Santa ("he sees you when you're sleeping, [...]"). Finally, several skills designed to entertain users of Alexa are themed around Santa Claus, including asking Alexa where Santa is on Christmas Eve, whether or not you've been naughty or nice, or even leaving the jolly old elf a voicemail.

'''Ribbed'''
:A reference to condoms, which have ridges or ribbing in order to promote pleasurable stimulation during coitus (see "Lubricated" above). This also puns on the fact that, as a humanoid, Santa presumably has a rib cage. (This might directly contradict the claims about his being an arthropod.)

'''IUCN Red List: Critically endangered'''
:The [https://www.iucn.org/about International Union for Conservation of Nature] (IUCN) monitors the size and viability of populations of organisms; 'critically endangered' marks a population as being highly susceptible to extinction. Santa, being one (or possibly two, if we include his wife) of a kind and lacking any offspring (and, indeed, likely being incapable of effectively producing any), will most likely be the last member of his population; thus extinction will arrive with his or his wife's death. Note, however, that the presence on the Red List implies that "Santa" is a biological species, not a fantasy, robot, or other non-biological entity. This is consistent with Santa being an arthropod and/or vampire, but would suggest that there are many specimens of Santa, while other 'Facts' (such as having a definite ranking in the Presidential Line of Succession) suggest Santa to be a single individual.

'''Diet: 80% Reindeer'''
:A mocking allusion to Santa Claus's sleigh, usually pulled by reindeer. Usual folklore depict Santa Claus being extremely fond of his reindeer, thus making it a humorous contrast to suggest he'd be ''eating'' reindeer meat on a daily basis.

'''Liability Insurance: None'''
:As a result of his diet (see above), alleged criminal activity (ditto), species ambiguity, and occupation, Santa would find the cost of liability insurance quite high. He instead chooses to 'go bare' and operate without any.

The title text states that as a result of intervention Santa's diet is now 20% milk & cookies, implying that previously it was 100% Reindeer. It is a tradition to leave out milk and cookies as a "gift" for Santa. If he is indeed a vampire, it is odd that Santa could survive on a diet of reindeer, milk, and cookies, since vampires supposedly need human blood to survive. Of course, his entering without being invited already shows Santa to be a highly unusual vampire. Additionally, it is possible that he consumes ''reindeer'' blood as part of his reindeer diet (vampires living off animal blood is not unheard of in modern fantasy). Related to that may be the observation that he seems to develop "nutritional deficiencies" when going below 80% reindeer meat, as that would logically result in him consuming less blood and thus starvation due to his vampiric nature.

==Transcript==
:[An annotated picture of Santa is shown.]
:'''Santa'''
:Facts and Figures

:Type: Flying/Psychic
:Plural: "Santa"
:Active Warrants: 5
:Lubricated for easy passage down chimneys
:Vertical leap: 14 Miles
:Sleigh flag of convenience: Panama
:9th in presidential line of succession
:Not technically an insect—actually an arthropod
:Only known vampire able to enter house without being invited
:Works with Alexa
:Ribbed
:IUCN red list: Critically endangered
:Diet: 80% Reindeer
:Liability Insurance: None

==Trivia==
*If the proposed line of succession from [[2003: Presidential Succession]] is used in place of the real one, Santa's place in the line would correspond to either a person who does not live in Washington, D.C, nominated at the start of the President's term and confirmed by the Senate, if the five people have an order of succession between themselves, or the governor whose state is the most populous at the most recent census, if they take up a joint presidency.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Christmas]]
[[Category:Facts]]
[[Category:Animals]]