explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1495: Hard Reboot

2026-01-12T20:45:56Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 1495
| date = March 6, 2015
| title = Hard Reboot
| image = hard_reboot.png
| titletext = Googling inevitably reveals that my problem is caused by a known bug triggered by doing [the exact combination of things I want to do]. I can fix it, or wait a few years until I don't want that combination of things anymore, using the kitchen timer until then.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Paging|Swap space}} is an area of a computer's hard drive reserved for use when the computer runs out of RAM. Ideally, RAM + SWAP >= MAX, where MAX is the amount of memory the computer will ever try to use at the same time. However, some (broken) programs may keep requesting memory from the system until the computer runs out of resources (a {{w|Memory leak|memory leak}}), or the system may be misconfigured to run more and more programs simultaneously. Rebooting the computer will empty the RAM and swap space so resources can be reallocated, but this only temporarily alleviates the underlying issue. Determining the root cause of the problem is often nontrivial.

It would take Randall anywhere between 1 and 10 hours to figure out why the server is running out of swap space, and possibly more to actually fix the problem. Alternatively, Randall could just take 5 minutes and plug the server into a light timer. This attitude to problem solving is in contrast to the attitude shown in [[974: The General Problem]].

Timers [http://www.diytrade.com/china/pd/10081499/Analog_Electric_Light_on_off_Timer_Dual_Outlet_Switch.html like the one in the comic] typically have four switches or notches per hour, so using the timer would replace an unpredictable and indefinite loss of service with a regular 15 minute downtime event once a day. Also, it can be scheduled during, say, the middle of the night when most users are sleeping to minimize disruption.

The correct method of scheduling a regular reboot would be using a ''cron'' task, but perhaps the server is "crashing" in such a dramatic manner that ''cron,'' or ''shutdown,'' or ''init'' stops working. The comic title alludes to this, in that a "hard" reboot scheduled with an analog timer is more guaranteed to work than a "soft" one scheduled with ''cron.''

If a memory leak is not present, the problem might be fixable by simply increasing swap space; however, if there is a more complex underlying issue, this is the first step along the path of 10 hours of troubleshooting. As a general stereotype, the type of person who has a home server is probably also the kind of person who would start by 'just' increasing the swap size, and before they know it has spent 10 hours completely engrossed in the challenge of fixing the problem. (See [[349: Success]])

The subtitle reads "Why everything I have is broken". This indicates that Randall frequently finds himself doing non-standard {{w|Life hacking|workarounds}} that temporarily solve a problem but may ultimately damage the system to the point of becoming nonfunctional. Indeed, a kitchen/light timer used to cut power to a server overnight may affect the server's performance if it is in the middle of a process when the reboot happens. Alternatively, this can be interpreted to mean that everything Randall has is broken and held together by metaphorical duct tape.

The title text's first sentence reveals that Randall is aware that looking further for a fix is futile: The problem is caused by a bug which has already been analyzed and is known to be triggered by using the system in the very way Randall is using it. He may get around the bug by changing what the system does, but then it would not provide the services he needs anymore. It may also refer to bug trackers, where someone found out and posted what causes the issue, but the bug is marked as "Unresolved," "Waiting," or "Will not fix."

It is not clear why the title text refers to a kitchen timer while the comic itself refers to a light timer. It might be a small error, or it might be that Randall just considers these to be two synonymous terms. Typically, however, a kitchen timer refers to an alarm that will go off, rather than a timer that cuts power to a device like a light timer.

The title text's second sentence refers to the fact that operating system bugs take a long time to be solved, hence the solution of "wait[ing] a few years until I don't want that combination of things anymore." Humor in that sentence is found in the fact that readers will anticipate "wait a few years until..." would be followed by "the bug is fixed", however, Randall is indicating that usually his needs change before the bugs get fixed, or that he has very low confidence in that the bug will be fixed in time, if ever.

==Transcript==
:[Inside a frame there are two pictures. To the left there is a section of a computer screen with white text on a black background. The screen is covered in lines of illegible text.]
:[Above the screen it says:]
:Figuring out why my home server keeps running out of swap space and crashing:
:[Below the screen it says:]
:1-10 hours

:[To the right there is a frame with a drawing of a timer plugged into a power port with cable running off to the side.]
:[Above the frame it says:]
:Plugging it into a light timer so it reboots every 24 hours:
:[Below the frame it says:]
:5 minutes

:[Below the main frame.]
:'''Why everything I have is broken'''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Computers‏‎]]

1676: Full-Width Justification

2025-12-05T16:16:52Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 1676
| date = May 4, 2016
| title = Full-Width Justification
| image = full_width_justification.png
| titletext = Gonna start bugging the Unicode consortium to add snake segment characters that can be combined into an arbitrary-length non-breaking snake.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic refers to an irritating problem in laying out text to fit from margin to margin, the problem of {{w|justification (typesetting)|justification}}, where you want multiple-line text to line up on the left side (common), the right side (less common), or both sides, which is commonly called full justification. This strip is dealing with how to make text fit such that it lines up on both sides while still looking good. Sometimes, as with a shorter word between two long words like "relationship between [[:wikt:deindustrialization|deindustrialization]]," there's no universal good way to make the typography work. It is a difficult problem to make text look good and be easily legible especially in a narrow space, with the biggest issue being how to handle words that are too long to fit nicely.

The comic shows several solutions to this problem, some realistic and others less so, but each partly or wholly unsatisfying.

"'''Giving up'''" essentially means not attempting full justification for a particular line, which means it will not fit with the rest of the layout.

"'''Letter spacing'''" involves a conspicuously large amount of whitespace between letters, sometimes suggesting a reading where each letter is a word until the reader recognizes what is intended. This method is in somewhat common use in newspaper and magazine layout, where it is generally known by the name "tracking" (distance between all letters) and "kerning" (distance between particular pairs of letters that fit together easily). However, letter spacing is unavailable for justification purposes in some languages (such as German), in which it is used for emphasis, as italics are in English.

"'''Hyphenation'''" can be confusing because it requires suspended recognition of the full word, confusing the eye into seeing, in the given case, the non-words "deindus" and "trialization". This creates difficulty in both pronouncing and parsing the word. Moreover, the decision of when and where to hyphenate is non-trivial, particularly for automated text layout; for example, breaking a word and leaving only two "orphaned" letters on the following line is generally considered an illegal hyphenation. Nevertheless, hyphenation is a very common means of handling extreme cases. The hyphenation option is most compact, yielding the extra word "ecological".

"'''Stretching'''", in which individual letters are displayed as wider than usual so that a word will take up more space, appears visually unnatural and unfamiliar, and may present technical difficulties in rendering.

Adding "'''filler'''" words is generally undesirable: in the worst case, the meaning may be unintentionally altered, or the tone might be rendered too informal, as in the given example, and even in the best case, the text becomes less concise and potentially more difficult to read. Automation is also difficult. However, filler words added by a human, especially the original author of the text, are the least visually conspicuous, and may be the most practical solution in some scenarios.

Finally, adding a decorative image like "'''snakes'''" (but not necessarily snakes in particular) to fill the extra space is a justification practice of significant historical interest (it was particularly common for illuminated manuscripts in the medieval era and remained prominent until the invention of the printing press) but little modern relevance. There may be a particular absurdity to using a snake as it can be read as a word, such as "the relationship between snake deindustrialization" as would be done similar to a {{w|rebus}}.

In modern text layout programs, some combination of the above strategies may be used to achieve the most visually consistent effect. For example, in one case, hyphenation might be the best option to split a very long word, while another line might be too long by only one or two letters, in which case the program could apply a very slight degree of extra letter spacing, too small for the average reader to notice.

The title text suggests that in order to facilitate the "snakes" method of "solving" the problem, the {{w|Unicode Consortium}}, the organization in charge of the common text standard {{w|Unicode}}, should add "snake-building characters" (similar in concept to the existing {{w|Box Drawing}} block), to allow variable-length snake images to be used as filling. Currently, there are at least six snake characters in Unicode, not including at least ten more Egyptian hieroglyphs that represent specific snakes, some in specific combination with other hieroglyphs: [http://unicode-search.net/unicode-namesearch.pl?term=SNAKE]
*[https://codepoints.net/U+1DC2 U+1DC2]   <big>᷂</big>   <big>[S᷂]</big>
**A diacritical {{w|combining character}} used in Americanist phonetic notation to indicate lenis (weak) articulation.
*[https://codepoints.net/U+2E92 U+2E92]   <big>⺒</big>
**A {{w|CJK character}} which might be interpreted as "snake".
*[https://codepoints.net/U+8675 U+8675]   <big>虵</big>
**Another CJK character meaning "snake".
*[https://codepoints.net/U+86C7 U+86C7]   <big>蛇</big>
**Another CJK character meaning "snake".
*[https://codepoints.net/U+1D9DC U+1D9DC]   <big>𝧜</big>
**One of the poorly-supported characters in the {{w|signWriting|signwriting block}}.
*[https://codepoints.net/U+1F40D U+1F40D]   <big>🐍</big>
**An {{w|emoji}} snake.

One of the hieroglyphs ([https://codepoints.net/U+13192 U+13192 EGYPTIAN HIEROGLYPH I009A]) is described in [https://mjn.host.cs.st-andrews.ac.uk/egyptian/unicode/tablemain.html source documents] as HORNED VIPER CRAWLING OUT OF ENCLOSURE, so it is literally a snake-building character. 𓆒 This is the character in question.

"Non-breaking" in the title text refers to a similar process as zero-width joiners and no-break HTML and CSS; the whole snake would shift down if it were too wide to fit on a given line. This suggestion would likely be rejected; the Unicode consortium is very specific about which characters are added,{{Citation needed}} and always require a good reason{{Citation needed}} before adding a character or set of characters to the standard. Strange decisions by the consortium have previously been referenced in [[1253: Exoplanet Names]], [[1513: Code Quality]], and [[1525: Emojic 8 Ball]].

Within an hour or two of this comic being published, a thread on the subject started on the Unicode Consortium’s official Unicode Mailing List. As of two days later, it’s still running.

==Transcript==
Strategies for full-width justification

[Below the caption is a column with six boxes, each showing a different "strategy" for justification which is annotated beside it. Here the annotation is written at the top and the text below. The top and bottom of the text is cut of in the middle, but as it can be "read" this is written anyway. Only for hyphenation does an extra word appear at the end. In the last with snakes, a snake is drawn to cover the entire space from the end of between to the right border.]

<dl>
<dt>Giving up</dt>
<dd style="text-align:justify!important;text-justify:inter-word!important;width:10.5em">their famous paper
on the relationship
between
deindustrialization
and the growth of</dd>

<dt>Letter spacing</dt>
<dd style="text-align:justify!important;text-justify:inter-word!important;width:10.5em">their famous paper
on the relationship
b e t w e e n
deindustrialization
and the growth of</dd>

<dt>Hyphenation</dt>
<dd style="text-align:justify!important;text-justify:inter-word!important;width:10.5em">their famous paper
on the relationship
between deindus-
trialization and the growth of ecological</dd>

<dt>Stretching</dt>
<dd style="text-align:justify!important;text-justify:inter-word!important;width:10.5em">their famous paper
on the relationship
between
deindustrialization
and the growth of</dd>

<dt>Filler</dt>
<dd style="text-align:justify!important;text-justify:inter-word!important;width:10.5em">their famous paper
on the relationship
between crap like
deindustrialization
and the growth of</dd>

<dt>Snakes</dt>
<dd>their famous paper 
on the relationship 
between 🐍 [a snake filling the gap] 
deindustrialization 
and the growth of</dd>

</dl>

==Trivia==
*The full text (with alternate changes) reads:
::''...their famous paper on the relationship between [crap like]/[ 🐍 ] deindustrialization and the growth of [ecological]...''
*An approach not depicted is to treat justification as part of a spherical typesetting strategy which allows words to move between lines even where this is not locally optimal. Its net effect in a case like this is to pull words from the previous line for use as filler. This approach is used by {{w|TeX}}.
*In Arabic, it is common to stretch the lines connecting letters as a relatively elegant and satisfying resolution to this problem. This trick is called "{{w|kashida}}" (كشيدة). There does in fact exist a Unicode character, U+0640: (ـ), to help with this: using it to extend "كشيدة" would result in something like "كـــــشـــيـــدة" (which, incidentally, looks a lot like a snake).
*Jim Chapman, developer of Windows 10 e-reader app Freda, has implemented snake-justification in the app, now available on the [https://www.microsoft.com/store/apps/9wzdncrfj43b Windows Store]. For best results, use the 'settings' screen to switch 'hyphenation' to 'no', 'use snakes' to 'yes', and choose a large font size (33 or so). Then pick a book with long words and justified text, and read it in a narrow window.
*The comic has been discussed on the [http://www.unicode.org/mail-arch/unicode-ml/y2016-m05/0004.html Unicode Mailing List].
*The typesetting system [http://www.sile-typesetter.org/ SILE] implemented snake justification on the same day the comic was published.
*"Line Fillers" depicting animals (including snakes) were widely used in [http://www.medievalcodes.ca/2016/04/line-fillers.html medieval book art].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Unicode]]

3101: Good Science

2025-06-13T09:50:42Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 3101
| date = June 11, 2025
| title = Good Science
| image = good_science_2x.png
| imagesize = 387x833px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = If you think curiosity without rigor is bad, you should see rigor without curiosity.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a BOT VERY CURIOUS ABOUT XKCD. Don't remove this notice until the explanation below has the appropriate rigor.}}

[[Miss Lenhart]] is teaching a class to [[Jill]] and a [[Cueball]] like kid. Based on her opening statement "I'm supposed to give you the tools to do good science." this is likely a general class on the principles of science, although it could be the start of a class on a specific field of science such as biology or physics. Classes about the principles of science (i.e. the scientific method, or what makes "good science") are common at the very introductory level, such as middle school science classes that give young students a basic framework to understand science, and also at the very advanced level, where PhD students take classes on the philosophy and history of science with detailed examination of epistemology, metaphysics, logic and ontology to be able to understand how their research affects the world.

However, Miss Lenhart explains that doing "good science" is hard, because research [https://www.discovermagazine.com/the-sciences/5-times-that-science-got-it-wrong often] [https://www.famousscientists.org/10-most-famous-scientific-theories-that-were-later-debunked/ produces] [https://www.siliconrepublic.com/innovation/scientific-theories-proven-wrong incorrect] {{w|List of experimental errors and frauds in physics|results}}. She wonders what are the key things she should teach her students so that their scientific inquiry ends up being successful. She lists a series of items that are commonly suggested as leading to successful research, such as collaboration or skepticism, and explains that she performed a {{w|regression analysis}} (a mathematical technique often used in science), to find out which were most important. She concludes that the two most crucial factors are genuine curiosity about the subject (which makes sense as something that would drive scientists to achieve good results) and {{w|ammonium hydroxide}}, a chemical which does see some {{w|Ammonia_solution#Laboratory_use|laboratory use}}, but it does not obviously relate significantly to achieving good results (although it's often used to clean laboratory equipment, so it is possible that regular or thorough cleaning of equipment reduces experimental error).{{Actual citation needed}}

This may illustrate a potential problem with regression analyses caused by including too many predictor variables for the available data. This can cause random statistical noise in the sample to be interpreted as a meaningful effect.

When Jill points out that ammonium hydroxide is a nonsensical factor, Miss Lenhart replies that Jill is doing good science. The joke is that including ammonium hydroxide was just a means to get Jill to question the results. It also suggests that skepticism is actually the second crucial factor after genuine curiosity, as being skeptical of ammonium hydroxide as an important factor led to Jill's newfound success as a scientist. Alternatively, because Jill is being curious about how ammonia got onto the list, she is performing good science by using both curiosity and ammonia.

The title text addresses a common criticism in scientific circles that science is only good if it has rigor — that is, if it is well-documented and follows all of the proper procedure. It says that if curiosity without rigor is bad (in other words someone earnestly trying to figure out the answer, but doing it in a sloppy way) the opposite, rigor without curiosity, is much worse (a person who produces professional looking results but who doesn't care whether they are right or wrong). There are two issues with a scientist who is rigorous but uncurious. First is that, in the modern world, science has a very high social and cultural status, due to it's incredible achievements over the past century and a half (from electric power to spaceflight to medical care). As a result, people tend to be very deferential to science, and the trappings of science (lab coats, clipboards, etc.) command respect. A rigorous but uncurious scientist could get people to believe more strongly in the wrong answer (for an example of how symbols like lab coats and clipboards can influence human behavior, see the {{w|Milgram experiment}}). Second, a rigorous scientist could become convinced of their performance because of their rigor, mistaking the outward process of science for science itself. In that case, beyond the initial wrong results due to their incuriosity, they could become resistant to changing their conclusions even when presented with decisive evidence to the contrary, sometimes to the point of suppressing other scientists who have reached the correct answer.

Randall has previously suggested that rigor is not as important in science as some make it out to be, when discussing ''{{w|MythBusters}}'' (see [[397: Unscientific]]).

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
:[Miss Lenhart is standing in front of a whiteboard with some scribbles on it.]
:Miss Lenhart: I'm supposed to give you the tools to do good science.

:[Miss Lenhart is now standing in front of Jill and Cueball, who are seated at classroom desks.]
:Miss Lenhart: But what '''''are''''' those tools?
:Miss Lenhart: Methodology is hard and there are so many ways to get incorrect results.
:Miss Lenhart: What is the magic ingredient that makes for good science?

:[Miss Lenhart headshot.]
:Miss Lenhart: To figure it out, I ran a regression with all the factors people say are important:
:[A list, presented in a sub-panel that Miss Lenhart is pointing to:]
:Outcome variable:
::• correct scientific results
:Predictors:
::• collaboration
::• skepticism of others' claims
::• questioning your own beliefs
::• trying to falsify hypotheses
::• checking citations
::• statistical rigor
::• blinded analysis
::• financial disclosure
::• open data
::[presumably the list goes on, as it runs off the visible part of the panel]

:[Another Miss Lenhart headshot.]
:Miss Lenhart: The regression says two ingredients are the most crucial:
:1) genuine curiosity about the answer to a question, and
:2) ammonium hydroxide

:[Miss Lenhart, standing, and Jill, seated at desk]
:Jill: Wait, why did '''''ammonia''''' score so high? How did it even get on the list?
:Miss Lenhart: ...and now you're doing good science!

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Miss Lenhart]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Jill]]
[[Category:Science]]

3099: Neighbor-Source Heat Pump

2025-06-09T14:34:47Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 3099
| date = June 6, 2025
| title = Neighbor-Source Heat Pump
| image = neighbor_source_heat_pump_2x.png
| imagesize = 431x284px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The installation of the pipes on the inside of the insulation can be challenging, especially when the neighbor could come home at any minute.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by A HOT-TEMPERED NEIGHBOUR. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
Using electricity to heat the home used to involve direct use of {{w|Joule heating|resistive heating}}, as an alternative to burning fuel of some sort, but more recently both this and the fuel-burning boiler have started to be replaced (or sometimes augmented) by developments in heat-pump technology which, much like the operation of a typical refrigerator, use a relatively small amount of power to move heat to where it is most needed (away from where the heat is ''not'' required). This is most commonly and conveniently done using an {{w|air source heat pump}} installed on the outside wall of the building/apartment, which can extract heat from the ambient outside air and use that to heat the inside of the household, and often also maintain its hot-water supply. Because of the varying nature of the external climate, this is less efficient (or at least more technically difficult) in colder weather, the time when the heating would be most appreciated. (The biggest problem being that trying to extract heat from air close to the freezing point of water, or below, will tend to condense out and freeze any moisture in the air, upon the external components, reducing the ability to extract heat from the air, a problem that might be solved by temporarily sending heat outwards to defrost the heatsink pipework.)

An alternate method of harvesting heat is the {{w|ground source heat pump}}. This does the same job of extracting heat energy from ''its'' surroundings (pipes sent deep into the ground, rather than just being exposed to the air by the side of the building), and benefits from the more constant temperature of the pedosphere (or deeper) which is often deeper than the [[402: 1,000 Miles North|frost-line]], always giving a ''relatively'' warm heat-source, to extract energy from, even in the depths of winter. If set up to also cool a home, in warm conditions, it also finds the same reliably small range of ground-temperatures useful in being ''cooler'' than the ambient air of summer, thus being more suited to disperse excess heat into whilst cooling the indoors environment. A further method, the water source heat pump, similarly makes use of a sufficiently large body of water's tendency to provide a near constant 4°C temperature (whatever the external conditions) in its depths.

In this comic, [[Randall]] goes further and finds a handy source of heat (in winter) and cold (in summer)… the house of a neighbor, which is itself being actively maintained (perhaps by more traditional heating and cooling technology) at a temperature which approaches his own preference for temperature. Being thermally inverted to the current seasonal conditions, it would be even more economical to tap into for heat during cold times and coolness during the warmer ones. At least it would be for Randall, not the neighbor who is now forced to effectively air-condition ''two'' buildings, instead of the one they thought they were maintaining. This is accomplished by sending the pipes (that ''might'' have been just buried in the ground) from the heat-exchange unit off into the walls of the neighbouring house to tap into the artificially-maintained temperature there.

The title text addresses some of the issues involved when trying to properly install the Neighbor-Source Heat Pump, without the neighbor realising that they are about to be leeched from in this way. It may already be quite difficult to interfere with the structure of the neighbouring house (in this case, by feeding pipes up into at least two of its wall cavities) without this being noticed once the absent neighbour returns, but to do so under the imminent risk of being observed at work by the neighbour arriving home would take [[666: Silent Hammer|even more care]] to accomplish.

While the small-scale application suggested here can thus be assumed to cause neighborly trouble, this concept has been in use on much larger scales for about the last ten years with virtually no repercussions - which is largely due to [https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20200908-the-buildings-warmed-by-the-human-body the tapped neighboring premises not being residential buildings]. On top of this, {{w|district heating}}, or "neighborhood heating" is a real system where a centralized heat source provides heating for multiple buildings in the neighborhood, either through a dedicated heat source (created to exploit the economies of scale) just for this purpose, or else taking waste heat from some other local amenity (e.g. a waste incinerator) that is producing sufficient quantities to spare as a side-effect of its core operation. This is humorously in contrast to to the comic where someone steals heat from one of their neighbours as one might {{w|Cable television piracy|steal Cable TV}}.

==Transcript==
:[Two houses are shown next to each other. They have almost identical facades with a base, two windows on either side of a door and a chimney to the right on the roof. But next to the left house there is a small box with two light-blue pipes going from the house to the box. From the bottom of the box two similar light-blue pipes goes a bit down under ground, the left further than the right, and then they bend to the right and goes under the neighboring house to the right. The upper pipe closest to the ground is shown to enter the wall of the right house, going almost up to the roof, and then bending sharply around going down below ground. Then it goes under ground to the other side of the house and do the same in the right wall, going up and down. Where it goes under ground, it connects to the the other pipe that has gone all the way straight under the house.]

:[Caption below the panel:]
:A covertly-installed '''''Neighbor-Source Heat Pump''''' takes advantage of the fact that your neighbor keeps their house cool in the summer and warm in the winter.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Physics]]

3076: The Roads Both Taken

2025-04-15T06:13:52Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 3076
| date = April 14, 2025
| title = The Roads Both Taken
| image = the_roads_both_taken_2x.png
| imagesize = 361x362px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = When you worry that you're missing out on something by not making both choices simultaneously by quantum superposition, that's called phomo.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Simultaneously created by and not created by SCHRÖDINGER'S LYRICIST - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is a parody of the first and fourth stanzas of {{w|Robert_Frost|Robert Frost's}} 1915 poem {{w|The_Road_Not_Taken|"The Road Not Taken"}}. The joke is that, while the human narrator of Frost's poem (presumably Frost himself), confronted with two paths, could only take one of them, and is left to contemplate the consequences of his choice, the photonic narrator of the parody, thanks to {{w|Quantum_superposition|quantum physics}}, is not compelled to choose one path over the other, and is left to contemplate the {{w|Wave_interference#Quantum_interference|consequences of that choice}}.

The title text humorously conflates FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), the human concern over lost opportunities from choosing one path over another (or choosing neither) with PHOMO (presumably PHOton Missing Out), the photonic concern over lost opportunities from choosing both paths at once, instead of one only, or none.

{| class="wikitable"
!Original stanza
!Parody
!Explanation
|-
|Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;
|Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And so of course I traveled both Though be one traveler, still I could Explore down both as far as I could Beyond the bends in the undergrowth;
|
|-
|I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less travelled by, And that has made all the difference.
|I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took them both and recombined, And that has made interference.
|
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}

3073: Tariffs

2025-04-08T06:14:17Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 3073
| date = April 7, 2025
| title = Tariffs
| image = tariffs_2x.png
| imagesize = 681x809px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = [later] I don't get why our pizza slices have such terrible reviews; the geotextile-infused sauce gives the toppings incredible slope stability!
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a TRADE DEFICIT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Explanation of the consequences of stopping imports (the last panel) is needed. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Similar to [[2396: Wonder Woman 1984]], Ponytail blocked news sites to avoid {{w|spoiler (media)|spoiler}}s about ''Avatar 2'' (officially titled ''{{w|Avatar: The Way of Water}}'') in early 2021, but did not re-enable notifications until just now. ''Avatar 2'' was released on December 16, 2022, but this means that she has missed all news since 2021, including the re-election of {{w|Donald Trump}} in 2024. This comic is a parody of {{w|tariffs in the second Trump administration|the tariffs that Trump imposed in 2025}}, which were announced shortly before the comic's release. [[Cueball]] describes the tariffs to [[Ponytail]] using a pizza store analogy.

Ponytail is surprised by the fact that Donald Trump is still the president in early 2025. She may be under the impression that Trump refused to step down when Biden's presidency officially began on Jan. 20, 2021. This is likely because of the relative rarity of a nonconsecutive second term, which has only happened once before in U.S. history with Grover Cleveland serving from 1885 to 1889 and again from 1893 to 1897.

The rest of the comic is a metaphor explaining how tariffs work, and why Donald Trump's plan specifically has garnered widespread disapproval for several seemingly illogical decisions. Cueball compares the U.S. with the Geotechnical Survey company that Ponytail works for, as they are both producers of high value, technologically advanced goods. He compares the countries the U.S. imports from to a pizza place, since the U.S. primarily imports lower value consumer goods and materials used to make the goods that the U.S. then exports, similar to how pizzas feed the workers in Ponytail's company.

A trade deficit occurs when party A buys more from party B than they sell to party B. Donald Trump, the president of the United States at the time the comic released, claimed that if the U.S. has a trade deficit with another country, then the U.S. is getting ripped off and the other country must be punished. In the comic, Cueball mockingly echoes Trump's belief to better explain his policies. As Ponytail explains, there is nothing wrong with having a trade deficit if you think you are getting your money's worth for what you are buying.{{citation_needed}} The U.S. can benefit from a trade deficit in some cases: the flow of foreign capital (like factory machinery) into the country can allow for more development, and some kinds of production are dangerous or polluting relative to the value of the goods produced. In addition, the U.S. treasury commands the world's reserve currency as well as the currency used for most world trade, making outflow of foreign currency not really a problem.{{actual citation needed}}

A tariff is a tax on imports from another country. Donald Trump introduced tariffs to punish countries with which the United States had a trade deficit. In the comic, Cueball proposes that Ponytail impose a tax or "tariff" on the pizza store until they start buying from Ponytail. Notably, the tariff is applied on the people who deliver the products to Ponytail's company, just like in real life. Ponytail notes that such a tariff might encourage the pizza store to stop selling to her, which Cueball considers a victory. In reality, nations have very little control of where the products go after being produced inside their own borders. Instead, it is left up to the companies (the delivery companies, in this case) to decide where to produce (or procure) the goods. What tariff proponents often omit, is that companies will simply pass on the costs associated with tariffs to the consumers, making the pizza more expensive.

In contrast to real world countries like China or Canada which, as of 2025, procure a substantial amount of goods from the U.S., Ponytail notes that the pizza company has little use for land survey equipment, unless they are constructing their own stores from the ground up without outside contractors. Ponytail suggests surveying pizzas using their equipment, which would serve little purpose.

The U.S. used to be a dominant producer of consumer goods up until the 1970s, after which companies started offshoring production that utilized low-skilled labor to third-world countries. In contrast, Ponytail's company has likely never been a producer of food. {{w|LIDAR}} is a technique using lasers to measure distances. Ponytail's company is using the technology to do surveying. In the final panel and title text, Cueball suggests that they use their LIDAR components to make their own pizzas, which would be inedible and potentially toxic.{{citation needed}} Cueball may be referencing the annoyance Italians have at unconventional pizza toppings.

The title text references slope stability, or the ability of an inclined slope to withstand movement. Toppings often slide off poorly-made pizzas when it is being eaten, leading to dissatisfaction. Geotextiles are permeable fabrics used for support and various other functions. The narrator claims that geotextiles prevent toppings from sliding off the pizza. However, very few geotextiles are edible.{{citation needed}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.I don’t like reCAPTCHAS}}
:[Ponytail walks over to Cueball with a phone in her hand. Cueball turns away from his desk to look at her.]
:Ponytail: You know how I blocked all news sites at the start of 2021 to avoid spoilers for Avatar 2, and then forgot to start checking them again?
:Cueball: Yeah, we've been meaning to talk to you about that...

:[Ponytail stops in front of Cueball.]
:Ponytail: Well, I just checked the news for the first time, and why is the economy tanking?
:Cueball: Uh, the president is mad at other countries and imposed lots of tariffs.

:[Closeup on Ponytail's head.]
:Ponytail: Wait, who's the president now?
:Cueball: Donald Trump.
:Ponytal: ...Still??
:Cueball: No, again.

:[Pan out.]
:Ponytail: OK, fine, what's a tariff? Why is he doing this?
:Cueball: You know that pizzeria your company orders from? They don't buy anything from you, right?
:Ponytail: Why would they? We do geotechnical landscape surveys.

:[Closeup on Cueball, arms spread.]
:Cueball: Right, so they're ripping you off! ''You're'' paying ''them'' tons of money, and what are ''you'' getting for it?
:Ponytail (off-screen): I mean... pizza?
:Cueball: See? They're not helping ''your'' business at all!
:Cueball: What a ripoff!

:[Pan out. Ponytail has her hand under her chin.]
:Ponytail: What would they even buy from us? I guess we could survey a pizza...
:Cueball: Yes, perfect! You refuse to let the delivery driver past your security desk unless they Venmo you for an equivalent value of LIDAR scans.

:[Closeup on Ponytail's head.]
:Ponytail: Wouldn't they just stop taking our orders?
:Cueball (off-screen): Perfect, balance restored!

:[Pan out.]
:Ponytail: OK, but I still want pizza.
:Cueball: Can you just make one? You have all that gear.
:Ponytail: I don't think pizza made with LIDAR diodes would be very good.
:Cueball: Ugh, why is everyone so picky about toppings?

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Donald Trump]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Geology]]

3072: Stargazing 4

2025-04-05T15:10:59Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 3072
| date = April 4, 2025
| title = Stargazing 4
| image = stargazing_4_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x386px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We haven't actually seen a star fall in since we invented telescopes, but I have a list of ones I'm really hoping are next.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT DISTRACTED BY STARS - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This is the fourth comic in the [[:Category:Stargazing|Stargazing]] series, and it followed [[2274: Stargazing 3]] that came out five years before. That was the longest stretch between two comics in the series so far.

The host [[Megan]] begins the introduction by referencing rude {{w|Yelp}} reviews of her stargazing lessons. The reviewers doubt that she is actually a qualified astronomer due to how simplistic her lessons are, and that she is actually just saying the words that come to mind.

Then she states that there are over 20 stars in the sky and some of them are over the age of 100. While this is true, it is an extreme underestimation of their number and age, which respectively number in the thousands (for visible stars) and billions or millions of years. Though in a city there could be less than 20 stars visible even in a clear night; in a normal stargazing session the event should though be moved to a place with as little light pollution as possible. Although, given the unprofessional nature of Megan's lessons, there is no guarantee that it does not take place in a city.

Megan continues to state true facts that are of no value. She states that our galaxy is huge and that there are more grains of sand in the {{w|Milky Way}} than grains of sand on all of Earths beaches. Since the Earth's sand is a subset of all of the galaxy's sand, and there are more planets with sand other than Earth (such as Mars), there are unquestionably more grains of sand in the entirety of the Milky Way than on Earth. This is a parody of the common saying that there are more stars in the visible universe than grains of sand on all the beaches of Earth. Tangentially it is actually unclear as to whether the stars outnumber Earth's sands, as shown here: [https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/do-stars-outnumber-the-sands-of-earths-beaches/ Do Stars Outnumber the Sands of Earth’s Beaches?] and here: [https://www.astronomy.com/science/the-ever-lasting-question-more-sand-or-stars/ The ever-lasting question: more sand or stars?]. Original quote was also all the sand on Earth, not just on the beaches.

Megan also adds a helpful hint to those that do not know what a beach is, calling a beach a big wet sandbox.

She then finishes the lesson by correctly saying that there is a black hole in the center of our galaxy ({{w|Sagittarius A*}}), and that stars sometimes fall in and get consumed by the black hole. When stars come too close to black holes, they experience a {{w|tidal disruption event}} (TDE), where a star is pulled apart by the black hole after exceeding its {{w|Roche limit}}. This creates streams of material that orbits the black hole and forms an accretion disk, that will eventually be consumed by the black hole or ejected in jets.

She adds her personal opinion on this fact saying that such events are "hilarious" and proceeds by saying that it's okay to laugh at the fate of those stars as the gravity of the black hole will prevent any signals from those stars escaping. This is due to black holes' immense gravitational attraction that prevents even light from escaping. In Megan's case the most important consequence of this fact is that anyone on planets around such stars cannot leave Yelp reviews if they hear her laughing. Thus, they cannot add to those that mock her lesson.

However, as the Roche limit of a black hole is always greater than its {{w|Schwarzschild radius}}, reviews made just after the star begins spaghettification could still escape the black hole. Not only do stars not use any kind of human-made technology,{{citation needed}} but any information regarding the app Yelp has yet to reach any star near Sagittarius A*, and will only reach it in 27 thousand years. It is much more likely that someone living on one of the star's planets would try to leave a comment on Yelp, not the star itself. But the same issues with distances would of course apply. It also seems unlikely that any planet would still be following a star when it first gets that close to a super massive black hole.

In the title text Megan claims that we haven't actually seen a star fall into the black hole since we invented telescopes. This is false as over a hundred TDEs have been discovered in a variety of wavelengths, including by the Hubble telescope. The way title text is phrased though she might have meant fall into specifically Sagittarius A*, and while it is true that we haven't observed any star fall in into our closest supermassive black hole, the {{w|Sagittarius_A*#Discovery_of_G2_gas_cloud_on_an_accretion_course|G2 gas cloud on an accretion course}} was discovered in 2002. Megan also apparently has a list of stars she would like to see fall into the black hole. But she can keep hoping as humans at this time have no way of changing the orbit of any star. So unless she is hoping for one (or more) of the closer stars to fall in next, she is unlikely to experience success based on her list.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[The background is black, Megan is in front of three others, Cueball and Ponytail to the left, and White Hat to the right. Megan is drawn in white while the background characters are in grey.]

:[Megan:] Welcome back to stargazing.
:[Megan:] According to some ''incredibly'' rude yelp reviews, I'm "not informative" and "can't possibly be an astronomer" and "just kind of say words as they occur to me."
:[Megan:] I guess some losers just hate cool space facts.

:[The sky is white, the floor is black, Megan is pointing at the sky. Hairy, a Megan-like girl, Cueball, and Ponytail are on the left, White Hat and Hairbun are on the right. All of the characters are drawn in black.]

:[Megan:] Anyway, that dot is a "star."
:[Megan:] There are over 20 stars in the sky, and some of them are more than 100 years old.

:[The background is black again, the panel zooms in on Megan's face.]

:[Megan:] Our galaxy is huge.
:[Megan:] You know the beach? That big wet sandbox?
:[Megan:] Well, there are more grains of sand in the milky way than in all earth's beaches combined.

:[Character off-panel to the left:] Wow.
:[A different character off-panel to the right:] ...Wait.

:[The background is still in black, Ponytail is left of Megan, White Hat and Hairbun on the right. Megan is again drawn in white while the background characters are in grey.]

:[Megan:] The galaxy has a black hole at the center.
:[Megan:] Sometimes stars fall in, which is ''hilarious''.
:[Megan:] Don't worry, it's okay to laugh. The gravity prevents signals from escaping, so they can't leave yelp reviews.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Stargazing]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Stargazing]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]

3071: Decay Chain

2025-04-03T12:09:11Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 3071
| date = April 2, 2025
| title = Decay Chain
| image = decay_chain_2x.png
| imagesize = 312x595px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = If you have an old phone in a drawer, and you listen very carefully, you can occasionally hear the occasional tap of an emitted SIM card hitting the side of the drawer as the phone transmutes to a lower-end model.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a Bot that has decayed to an Automoton - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This comic suggests that as iPhones get heavier (as model iterations get higher) they, like heavier chemical elements, become unstable and susceptible to decay. In science, some atoms decay into other atoms, releasing some energy in the process. This process is generally dictated by the ratio and configuration of the positively charged protons in an atomic nucleus, which dictate its chemical identity, with the neutrons, which need to act to keep the protons in as stable a clump as possible. Particular isotopes, increasingly so for the heavier atoms, are known to be subject to one or other modes of {{w|nuclear decay}} in order to attain a more stable and simpler form, including by several such steps. This comic humorously explores how an iPhone would decay if decaying works the same, which is obviously absurd as iPhones are not radioactive and thus aren't subject to atomic decay.

The difference between iPhones undergoing {{w|alpha decay}} (vertically downwards, in the diagram) is the change in model number from a higher one to one two steps lower, except for the step involving the iPhone X which apparently exists instead of a "9" model. This is equivalent to the change in {{w|atomic number}}, when two unstable protons (together with a couple of neutrons) leave the nucleus in the form of a helium ion. The {{w|mass number}} of such atoms reduces by four (that held by the departing He2+), though no evidence is given as to how the respective masses of the phones ''actually'' changes in this analogy.

The process of beta minus decay (in elements, the effective conversion of a neutron into a proton and a free electron) raises the atomic number by one by transforming an excess neutral particle to a positive one, by emiting the small negatively charged {{w|beta particle}} (leaving the mass practically the same). In the terms of iPhones, this is represented by the removal of a brand-name modifier (usually denoting additional features included within the same model range) in order to perform a version-upgrade but now being closer to that new range's most basic release of model. This is represented by a sideways and upwards step. The decay step from the iPhone 13 Pro to the iPhone 14 Plus, which is missing a symbol, is clearly one of the beta minus decay steps.

(After alpha or beta decay, atoms may then emit {{w|gamma radiation}} as they rearrange their atomic state without changing their composition, but this process does not change the element in any meaningful way. It also will occur when neutron capture and/or atomic fission has occured, which is generally considered outwith the natural decay chain of any such isotope, and can also result from nuclear fusion.)

The title text suggests that the "alpha particle" of the iPhone is a {{w|SIM card}}, and that alpha-decaying phones will emit one of these each time (despite few phones having more than two, and most working ones only having one, but perhaps that's part of the mystery of telephonic {{w|Nuclear transmutation|transmutation}}). The sound of an old phone, sitting in a drawer, ejecting the unnecessary SIM is likened to the slow click of a {{w|Geiger counter}} being prompted to register the decay particles ejected from a decaying radioisotope. Presumably, without the sound, one would never otherwise know if the phone even ''had'' decayed without {{w|Schrödinger's cat|opening the drawer}} to find out.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

[A flowchart with arrows leading from a circle with the words "iPhone 16 Pro Max", to circles with other iPhone names, eventually leading to a circle with the words "iPhone 7"]

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Physicists believe that an iPhone 16 Pro Max will, if left alone long enough, eventually decay into an iPhone 7, the heaviest stable model.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Smartphones]]
[[Category:Physics]]

2942: Fluid Speech

2025-03-22T20:51:18Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 2942
| date = June 5, 2024
| title = Fluid Speech
| image = fluid_speech_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x406px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Thank you to linguist Gretchen McCulloch for teaching me about phonetic assimilation, and for teaching me that if you stand around in public reading texts from a linguist and murmuring example phrases to yourself, people will eventually ask if you're okay.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is about {{w|sandhi}}.

[[Randall]] states that people often unconsciously shorten words in various ways when speaking to optimize the fluidity of speech.
He then presents four side-view diagrams of the human mouth and paths depicting how it might conceptually move (it depending a lot on how the individual normally forms even the major phonemes) when saying increasingly fluid versions of "going to."

The first diagram gives the pronunciation /ɡoʊɪŋ tu/ ''GO-ing TO''. This is the version found in dictionaries and used when one is speaking slowly and deliberately. Here, the tongue and lips have to move a lot. The phrase starts at the back of the throat with a velar /g/ and moves into the diphthong OH /oʊ/ and the approximant /w/ to the KIT vowel /ɪ/. (Though it's not in the traditional IPA transcription or the comic, most native accents will insert a [w] between [ʊ] and another vowel.) The tongue then has to move right back to where it started for the "ng" in "going", the velar /ŋ/, followed by an even bigger jump forwards to the alveolar /t/ and back again for the back vowel /u/. Since /t/ is a voiceless consonant, the vocal cords will briefly stop vibrating, interrupting the sound, which the diagram illustrates as a gap in the path.

The second diagram shows a slightly more efficient pronunciation, in which the /ŋ/ is replaced by an /n/ instead since both /n/ and /t/ are alveolar sounds. The final /u/ weakens to the more neutrally positioned /ə/, which is the "default" vowel (aka you should be making this sound if you relax your mouth completely and give a small grunt). (For more about Schwa, see [[2907: Schwa]].) All doubling back of the tongue is now removed, leaving only a small, nearly closed loop.

The third diagram shows an even more efficient and very common pronunciation of the phrase, /ɡʌnə/ ''GUN-na''. Here rather than optimizing tongue movement hard-to-pronounce sounds are removed or further replaced instead. The /t/ is dropped leaving only /n/, while the vowel(s) of the first syllable go from /o/ to /ʌ/ between which the only difference is the optional rounding, or pursing, of the lips - though more likely given Randall Munroe's prior comics demonstrating a {{w|Phonological history of English close back vowels#STRUT–COMMA merger|ꜱᴛʀᴜᴛ-coᴍᴍᴀ merger}}, a supposed /ə/.

The fourth diagram shows the most reduced pronunciation. The /n/ is lost as a consonant in its own right, with only remnants of its existence found by the nasalisation of the preceding vowel where part of the airflow is redirected through the nose. (This is, incidentally, the same way that French got its famous nasal sounds - sequences of what used to be vowel + /n/ from Latin were reduced.) This way, the only motions one must make is to articulate the /ɡ/, which some would voice by a movement of the rear tongue although parts of the {{w|larynx}} may primarily be employed by others. This pronunciation seems almost unconnected to the original phrase of "going to". However, English speakers will still almost always understand this in context, and likely think they heard "gonna"

In some ways, this may also help explain how Neil Armstrong's line "One small step for a man" was heard over the radio as "One small step for man". As you move towards More Fluid, the phrase "for a man" can quickly become "foreh-man" and then "fur-man". While extensive research has been done elsewhere on this topic, when given the choice between a technical problem with the radio, and issues with phonetic pronunciation under pressure, the latter seems more likely.

In the bottom text, Randall comments on the perception of reduced pronunciations, remarking that while many perceive them as being sloppy, in reality deliberately pronouncing each word with the "supposed" pronunciation in its dictionary form sounds stilted, forced, and unnatural. The final T in the word "hot" is an example of this. Most people when thinking of T think there is only one way to pronounce it - usually the aspirated unvoiced alveolar plosive "tuh" found at the start of syllables - but in reality it varies widely depending on position and accent, most noticeable if one pronounces a word such as "teat". In this context the "t" in "hot" is replaced by a {{w|glottal stop}}; funnily enough, and perhaps ironically, despite being the same sound it is never stigmatized, unlike intervocalic "t"s such as bottle which some speakers, particularly some British ones, also replace with glottal stops (rendered 'humorously' as <code>bo'oh</code>). It you speak English in the British "standard" Received Pronunciation form you may have to put on a fake American accent to understand this joke. It works best if you attempt an outrageous stereotype of a slurred non-English speaker.

The title text is a serious shout-out to linguist [[Gretchen McCulloch]] who has been teaching Randall about this stuff, but includes a joke about what happens when he tries these things out in public.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|A description of the path of the sound.}}

:[Above the panel:]
:Fun fact: Experienced speakers constantly merge, drop, and alter sounds when talking at normal conversational speed to optimize for efficient mouth movement.

:[The panel shows four labeled side profiles of a mouth with paths of sounds made in different parts of the mouth. There is a label "More fluid" with an arrow pointing to the right. From left to right:]

:[Label:]
:Going to
:/ɡoʊɪŋ tu/
:[Path:] (G O >> I >> NG >> >> ) ( >> T >> >> O)

:[Label:]
:Goin' to
:/ɡoʊɪn tə/
:[Path:] (G O >> I >> N)(T >> >> O)

:[Label:]
:Gonna
:/ɡʌn.ə/
:[Path:] (G O >> NN >> A)

:[Label:]
:How fluent speakers ''actually'' say it when speaking rapidly
:/ɡə̃/
:[Path:] (G >> >> ə̃)

:[Below the panel:]
:If you think ''you'' don't do this, try to use "hot potato" in a sentence and fully pronounce the first "t" without sounding like an alien impersonating a human.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Fun fact]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Gretchen McCulloch]]
[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]

3063: Planet Definitions

2025-03-15T12:34:22Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 3063
| date = March 14, 2025
| title = Planet Definitions
| image = planet_definitions_2x.png
| imagesize = 653x1435px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Under the 'has cleared its orbital neighborhood' and 'fuses hydrogen into helium' definitions, thanks to human activities Earth technically no longer qualifies as a planet but DOES count as a star.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|A table might be better to format the explanation.}}

This comic addresses the {{w|IAU definition of planet|controversy of whether of Pluto is a planet}} and explores many definitions, most of them humorous/nonsensical, of what a planet could be.

;Traditionalist: {{w|Pluto}} is a planet (9 planets)
:In modern times, there was {{w|IAU definition of planet#Background|no formal definition of a "planet"}} prior to 2006. However, it was generally accepted as a colloquialism that there were nine planets around the {{w|Sun}}, Pluto included, primarily starting with Pluto's discovery in 1930, based upon that time's scientific consensus that there ought to be another planet to account for peculiarities in the the orbits of the other outer planets. As more sophisticated methods of mapping the {{w|Solar System}} were developed and {{w|Eris (dwarf planet)|Eris}} was discovered to be even more massive than Pluto (which may not have been as significant as the theories that lead to its discovery suggested) it became clear to astronomers that a more standardized definition was needed. In 2006 the International Astronomical Union (IAU) published their formal redefinition of a "planet" to require a planet to be gravitationally dominant within its orbit, disqualifying Pluto (and Eris) which is now considered a "dwarf planet." This has been subject to push back from countless people, including [https://arxiv.org/abs/2110.15285 some planetary scientists], but in mostly nostalgic laypeople dissatisfied with Pluto being "demoted" or otherwise relegated when schoolchildren and adults alike have 'known' that there are nine planets for the most part of the last century (and [[988: Tradition|tradition]] has previously been refered to as whatever was current during "Baby Boomers' childhoods").
:Ironically, some of the latest study of the outer solar-system includes the possibility of yet ''another'' {{w|Planet Nine}}, but only time will tell if such an object exists and whether it would cross the IAU's current threshold or even require the threshold itself to be reassessed once more.

;Modern: Pluto is not a planet (8 planets)
:When the IAU redefined what a planet is in 2006, Pluto no longer qualifies as a planet (since it wasn't able to clear its neighborhood around its orbit). Using the modern, and recently official, definition of a planet, only eight celestial objects qualified.

;Expansive: Dwarf planets are planets (17+ planets)
:It is likely that since the term "dwarf planet" contained "planet" in its name, Randall considered those as also planets under this category.
:It is also likely that the number of planets includes the ones that are considered planets and the ones that are considered to have compacted into fully solid bodies, {{w|Dwarf planet#Most likely dwarf planets| as defined by Grundy ''et al.'',}} those being {{w|Ceres (dwarf planet)|Ceres}}, Pluto, Eris, {{w|Makemake}}, {{w|Haumea}}, {{w|Gonggong (dwarf planet)|Gonggong}}, {{w|Quaoar}}, {{w|Orcus (dwarf planet|Orcus}} and {{w|Sedna (dwarf planet)|Sedna}}.
:The basis for this viewpoint is the possible alternative re-evaluation that the IAU could have adopted, in that all newly discovered things ''like'' Pluto (being considered a planet) should therefore be considered a planet. Indeed, Ceres had been observed some time before Pluto and had been called a planet (or a "minor planet") within both scientific and public realms.

;Ultratraditionalist: Only the classical planets are planets (5 planets)
:The {{w|classical planets}} are objects found and considered by the Greek astronomers in classical antiquity to be considered planets. Their definition of "planet" considered visible objects that move across the sky relative to the fixed stars, the original word itself being translated as "wanderer". There are seven classical planets, but if one were to only consider the ones that fall under the IAU's definition of a planet (this being ''less'' traditional), then there would only be five. (The Sun and the {{w|Moon}} would be disqualified.)
:Being (mostly) true to the spirit of the historic naming convention, this would be a conservative but 'valid' version of the criterion.

;Condescending: Only giant planets are planets; the rest are big {{w|asteroid}}s (4 planets)
:This definition may refer to the {{w|giant planets}}, planets much larger than the {{w|Earth}}. Only the four outer (IAU-defined) planets fall under this definition.
:Relegation of anything smaller, including our own planet, is an extreme attitude, but most of the initial [[:Category:Exoplanets|exoplanets]] discovered were, by practical necessity in their detection, also only of the "giant planet" mind.

;Simplistic: Anything gravitationally round is a planet (37+ planets)
:Using the Wikipedia {{w|list of gravitationally rounded objects of the Solar System}}, there are 37 objects listed. That includes the Sun, 8 planets, 9 dwarf planets and 19 {{w|Natural satellite|moon}}s, but falls short of also highlighting all of the smallest visible objects (as per Universalist, below).
:This definition is essentially ''part'' of the actual current definition of a planet, leaving out the main factor that specifically disqualifies Pluto.

;Grounded: Only objects a spaceship has landed on are planets (10 planets)
:This list includes objects in the Solar System that a spacecraft has {{w|List of landings on extraterrestrial bodies|performed a soft landing on}}. The list includes {{w|Venus}}, Earth, {{w|Mars}}, the Moon, {{w|Titan (moon)|Titan}}, {{w|433 Eros|Eros}}, {{w|25143 Itokawa|Itokawa}}, {{w|162173 Ryugu|Ryugu}} and {{w|101955 Bennu|Bennu}}. Notably, {{w|comet}} {{w|Philae (Spacecraft)|landings}} are not included in the list.
:The justification for this seeks to be that we must 'touch' the object before we consider it as worthy of being classified as more than a mere blob (or dot) in space.

;Regolithic: Anything covered in dirt and ice and stuff is a planet (infinite)
:This list excludes the {{w|Gas Giant}}s and the {{w|Ice Giant}}s. The list would likely include dwarf planets, asteroids, moons and comets. This is effectively the opposite of the "condescending" definition: every object in the solar system is included in one definition or the other (except for the Sun).
:This is also an extension on the prior classification. In this case ''could'' we meaningfully touch the object, with predominatingly atmospheric bodies being not considered so.

;Lunar: You can't be a planet if you don't have a moon (12+ objects)
:Only some objects in the solar system have known and acknowledged moons orbiting them. The value given may be {{w|List of natural satellites|the number of planets and dwarf planets}} that have moons, when excluding {{w|Haumea}} for not reaching {{w|hydrostatic equilibrium}} despite having moons. The Sun is excluded because its satellites are not moons, because ... oh, look, a Squirrel!
:Adopting this definition would suggest that a planetary body is not worthy of the name if it doesn't (with no matter for what reason) demonstrably have the means to dominate its local area by being the overwhelming focus of all adjacent bodies' own orbits.

;Solipsistic: Earth is the only planet (1 planet)
:{{w|Solipsism}} is the idea that only one's own mind is sure to exist. Randall extrapolated this idea to mean that only one's own planet that they are standing on is sure to exist.
:This projects (and relies upon) a more philosophical and/or semiotic assesment than any scientific one.

;Judgemental: Only the prettiest ones are planets (6 planets)
:This list is likely formulated from Randall's own perception of the prettiest planets in the Solar System. Strangely, seven objects are highlighted:
:* Earth
:* Jupiter
:* One of Jupiter's moons (unclear)
:* Saturn
:* One of Saturn's moons (unclear, possibly Titan)
:* Neptune's moon (probably Triton)
:* Pluto
:The subjectivity of this version of the definition makes it unlikely that a consensus of this form could be established.

;Empiricist: Only worlds that I, author of this table, have personally seen are planets (12 planets)
:This list may refer to the celestial objects in the Solar System that have been made visible at night, probably using an optical telescope (a hobbyist one, perhaps Randall's, or from time borrowed on a major institutional installation). Jupiter's {{w|Galilean moons|four largest moons}} are [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112024151/http://denisdutton.com/jupiter_moons.htm technically visible to the naked eye] but hard to distinguish due to Jupiter's brightness, while Neptune is considered too faint to see (even if you know where to look). It may also be the case that Randall has never taken the time to look for Neptune while using a telescope. Apparently Randall has seen Uranus, which technically [https://www.skyatnightmagazine.com/advice/skills/how-see-uranus-in-night-sky ''is'' visible to the naked eye] under the very best viewing conditions, but these conditions are rare and it again requires knowing exactly where to look.
:The omission of the Sun from the list of worlds that Randall has personally seen is interesting. Yes, people are not supposed to stare at the Sun{{citation needed}}, but it is not too uncommon to accidentally look in its direction for a split-second before instinctively closing one's eyes and turning one's head away.
:As a different form of subjectivity, the value of this grouping's criteria is questionable, but not uncommon in other 'softer' sciences.

;Marine biologist: Only objects with oceans are planets (6+ planets)
:This list includes Earth, {{w|Europa (moon)|Europa}}, {{w|Ganymede (moon)|Ganymede}}, {{w|Callisto (moon)|Callisto}}, Titan, and {{w|Enceladus}}. Most of these have had the presence of significant water identified from the way local magnetic/electric fields are detected, but see the following item.
:There is a resemblance, here, to a loose understanding of what a "world" is, i.e. one that possesses various distinct 'terrains' beyond mere dry (and possibly considered featureless) rock. A marine biologist would, of course consider a marine (if not pellagic or bathyspheric) environment to be an essential element of any world.

;Maritime: Only objects with ''surface'' oceans are planets (2 planets)
:In the comic, only Earth and a Saturnian moon (likely to be Titan) are highlighted. Earth is the only body known in the solar system to have liquid water on the surface significant enough to be called an ocean. Titan's cold and dense atmosphere notably maintains surface 'seas' of methane and nitrogen, where other moons (given as additonal in the prior item) seem to have their liquid water beneath either whole-surface ice caps or otherwise deep under the surface.
:From the narrower point of view of a sailor, for example, there is no benefit in considering water hidden away far beneath the surface, and it might as well not be there. Whereas it's possible that a well-prepared mariner could eventually sail the strange seas of Titan, as easily (or easier) as an airman might {{w|Dragonfly (Titan space probe)|fly through its skies}}.

;Universalist: They're all planets (infinite)
:This list claims that all objects are planets, all drawn items (also presumably all undrawn/undrawable items) being marked as such, including the Sun.
:Giving up on any thought of exclusivity, this unconventional view willingly inducts all visible objects into consideration.

;Existentialist: What if {{w|outer space|space}} ''itself'' is a planet??? (Duude)
:This list is different from the list above as it claims that all of space, rather than only the objects existing in space, are planets. The interjection ''Duude'' expresses one's amazement at this 'revelation' and replaces the number count— and is sometimes stereotyped to imply the speaker is high on marijuana or other drugs popular with the 1960s hippie counterculture.
:The strange stretch of imagination, as prompted by some narcotic or other, abandons all pretense at sensibly sorting everything into "planet" or "not planet", as not only is everything a planet, but so is the nothing ''between'' these titular planets.

;Spiteful: ''Only'' Pluto is a planet (1 planet)
:This list is a malicious play on the demotion of Pluto by demoting all other planets except Pluto instead, leaving Pluto as the only planet in the solar system.
:This is the taxonomic equivalent of refusing to play and taking your ball home to spite those who you think don't deserve it.

;(title text) {{w|Star}}: Earth is a star (2 stars)
:In May 1934, Mark Oliphant, Paul Harteck and Ernest Rutherford at the Cavendish Laboratory, published an intentional deuterium fusion experiment, and made the discovery of both tritium and helium-3. This is widely considered the first experimental demonstration of fusion. Randall considers that this makes Earth fall into the category of a star due to the human-induced ability for Earth to fuse hydrogen into helium using nuclear fusion.
:By changing not only the definition, but the term being defined, this drifts yet further from any consensus view on the original question and into a typical punchline absurdity.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[A table with 3 columns, and 17 rows below the the header row, labelled "Definition", "# of planets" and "Solar system".]
:[In each row, the first column has a single word, in bold, then a descriptive sentence. The second column has a digit or other 'value'. The third column is a not-to-scale drawing of the Solar system, featuring the Sun, various 'planetary' bodies and an apparently selective sample of moons/asteroids, as follows: The Sun, Mercury, Venus, Earth + The Moon, Mars + two moons (Phobos and Deimos), a small selection of Asteroid Belt bodies (Ceres in the midst of other, smaller, examples), Jupiter + four moons (likely Io, Europa, Ganymede and Callisto), a ringed Saturn + usually one moon (probably Titan) or two (possibly Enceladus or Iapetus, as required), Uranus + four or five moons (likely to be Miranda, Ariel, Umbriel, Titania and Oberon, but one of these (shown upon the face of Uranus) only appears in some iterations of the base image), Neptune + one moon (probably Triton), Pluto + one moon (Charon), four more plutoid/Kuiper Belt objeccts (too little context to identify, but possibly Haumea, Makemake, Gonggong and Eris, in distance order), the first two of them with distinct moons indicated (entirely dependent upon which main objects they are).]
:[Each row's illustrated solar system has indivudal combinations of green highlights applied to the otherwise repeated diagram.]
:[Row 1: Definition:] Traditionalist: Pluto is a planet [Number:] 9 [Highlit: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto]
:[Row 2: Definition:] Modern: Pluto is not a planet [Number:] 8 [Highlit: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune]
:[Row 3: Definition:] Expansive: Dwarf planets are planets [Number:] 17+ [Highlit: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Ceres (in Asteroid Belt), Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto and the further main bodies]
:[Row 4: Definition:] Ultratraditionalist: Only the classical planets are planets [Number:] 5 [Highlit: Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn]
:[Row 5: Definition:] Condescending: Only giant planets are planets; the rest are big asteroids. [Number:] 4 [Highlit: Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune]
:[Row 6: Definition:] Simplistic: Anything gravitationally round is a planet [Number:] 37+ [Highlit: The Sun, Mercury, Venus, Earth, The Moon, Mars, Ceres (without other asteroids), Jupiter + moons, Saturn with Titan, Uranus and its moons, Neptune with its moon, Pluto and the four further dwarf planets]
:[Row 7: Definition:] Grounded: Only objects a spaceship has landed on are planets [Number:] 10 [Highlit: Venus, Earth, The Moon, Mars, five (non-Ceriese) asteroids and Titan]
:[Row 8: Definition:] Regolithic: Anything covered in dirt and ice and stuff is a planet [Number:] [infinity symbol] [Highlit: Mercury, Venus, Earth, The Moon, Mars, Ceres with all other asteroids depicted in the Asteroid Belt, the moons of Jupiter, the sole moon! of Saturn, the moons of Uranus, the moon of Neptune, Pluto with Charon, and all remaining dwarf planets with their moons]
:[Row 9: Definition:] Lunar: You can't be a planet if you don't have a moon [Number:] 12+ [Highlit: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto and three of the other dwarf planets in the Kuiper belt, including one with no obviously drawn moon]
:[Row 10: Definition:] Solipsitic: Earth is the only planet [Number:] 1 [Highlit: The Earth]
:[Row 11: Definition:] Judgemental: Only the prettiest ones are planets [Number:] 6 [Highlit: The Earth, Jupiter with one of its moons (not identified), Saturn, one of ''two'' Saturnian moons in this image and Pluto]
:[Row 12: Definition:] Empiricist: Only worlds that I, author of this table, have personally seen are planets [Number:] 12 [Highlit: Mercury, Venus, The Earth, The Moon, Mars, Jupiter with its four moons, Saturn and Uranus]
:[Row 13: Definition:] Marine biologist: Only objects with oceans are planets [Number:] 6+ [Highlit: The Earth, three Jovian moons, the two illustrated Saturnian moons]
:[Row 14: Definition:] Maritime: Only objects with [next word in italics] surface oceans are planets [Number:] 2 [Highlit: The Earth and Titan]
:[Row 15: Definition:] Universalist: They're all planets [Number:] [infinity symbol] [Highlit: All drawn objects, including The Sun and all other objects including all the moons/asteroids]
:[Row 16: Definition:] Existantialist: What if space [next word in italics] itself is a planet??? [Word, in italics:] Duude [Highlit: The whole third column cell]
:[Row 17: Definition:] Spiteful: [next word in italics] Only Pluto is a planet [Number:] 1 [Highlit: Pluto]

==Trivia==
*In the [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/archive/6/66/20250314195557%21planet_definitions_2x.png original version of the comic], there were two errors that would alter be fixed. The "Traditionalist" definition highlighted Neptune's satellite {{w|Triton (moon)|Triton}} instead of Pluto. The images of the Solar System for the "Traditionalist" and "Modern" definitions were swapped, resulting in Pluto being incorrectly highlighted in "Modern" and omitted in "Traditionalist.

*The "Judgemental" definition has seven colored objects instead of the labelled six. This mistake has never been fixed.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]
[[Category:Comics edited after their publication]]

1809: xkcd Phone 5

2025-03-03T22:42:34Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 1809
| date = March 10, 2017
| title = xkcd Phone 5
| image = xkcd_phone_5.png
| titletext = The phone will be collected by the toll operators and mailed back to you within 4-6 weeks.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the fifth entry in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone series]], and once again, the comic plays with many standard tech buzzwords, and horribly misuses all of them, to create a phone that sounds impressive but self-evidently isn't to even the most ignorant customer. The previous comic in the series [[1707: xkcd Phone 4]] was released almost 8 months before this one and the next [[1889: xkcd Phone 6]] was released 7 months later.

The tagline beneath the phone, "We're trying to catch up to Apple but refuse to skip numbers", is a reference to inconsistent product numbering, such as {{w|Samsung}} releasing the {{w|Note 7}} after the {{w|Note 5}}, likely in an attempt to catch up to the numbering of either the {{w|iPhone}} or {{w|Galaxy S}} series, both of which were already at 7. Similarly, there was also no official ''iPhone 2''. But there is an [[xkcd Phone 2]] available.

This phone seems to have a curved display. But the edges are curved down and not up, as they are on other curved phones. From the top, going clockwise:

; Hook shot

: In ''{{w|The Legend of Zelda}}'' the [http://zelda.gamepedia.com/Hookshot Hook shot] is a recurring weapon/tool. It is a machine consisting of a chain and hook. When used, the chain extends and sends the hook which is attached to it. It is used to bring items to {{w|Link (The Legend of Zelda)|Link}} or bring Link closer to a goal (''Link'' is the name shared by the main protagonists, each possessing the Spirit of the Hero). Likely a reference to new video game ''{{w|The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild}}'', which was released a week prior to this comic (ironically, that game does not feature the Hook shot).

:In the comic, the hook shot is shown as a small port upon the phone's top; the hook itself is not visible, suggesting it is contained in the device until use. Most Hook shots in the game series are large enough to be grasped in or encompass the hand, with the hook being large and extending out of the tool even without use. The size of the port and absence of the hook before use implies a very small hook and a very thin chain, making it impractical{{citation needed}} for use in either of the tool's functions.

; Bluetooth speaker

: {{w|Bluetooth}} speakers are often used to play audio from a smartphone wirelessly, usually with more volume and better quality than the phone's small built-in speaker can provide. Embedding a bluetooth speaker into the phone would allow the phone to play audio from outside sources through its built-in speaker, which could be useful if no better speakers were available but would generally be avoided given the previously noted limitations of phone speakers. This is perhaps a jab at the current trend of playing music or Internet content audibly in public through the tiny, tiny speaker embedded in most phones. The Bluetooth speaker is located in the normal place for a phone's speaker.

:In addition to having no benefit in normal operation, the higher power usage from sending and receiving wireless signal to the built-in speaker would also result in shorter battery life when playing music; a characteristic that would already be undesirable on a regular phone, but is especially pressing given the highly dubious track record of previous xkcd phone models' batteries.

; Stained-glass display

: {{w|Stained glass}} is colored glass, traditionally used for decorative windows in buildings most often churches. It is generally much thicker and because of the color much less transparent, especially for some colors, than the glass types normally used for touchscreens, making the phone difficult to use as it would remove some of the colors shown on the screen below the glass. A typical feature noticed about the glass for real phones would be its strength, as in work phones for construction workers.

; Gallium chassis remains solid up to 85°F

: Many high-end electronic devices have chassis made of alloys of light metals such as {{w|magnesium}} or {{w|titanium}} rather than {{w|steel}} or {{w|plastic}}. Besides being lightweight and of superior quality and durability than ordinary sheet steel or cheap plastic, these are often perceived as bragging points by the users, boasting about 'rare' metal chassis.

: {{w|Gallium}}, however, is an uncommon metal with a very low melting point of 85 °F (or 29.8 °C), making it one of only four pure metals (along with {{w|Mercury (element)|mercury}}, {{w|rubidium}} and {{w|caesium}}) that can be liquid around room temperature. Because the melting point is lower than the average {{w|human body temperature}} of 98.6 °F (37 °C) a gallium smartphone chassis would melt in the user's bare hand, assuming it hadn't already done so due to heat produced by its internal components. Even if the electronics had good heat management, cooling in smartphones is normally accomplished by distributing heat to the case, not exhausting it.

: Gallium also displays many strange properties which would be undesirable in a phone, such as contact-permeating through the crystal structures of other metals used in the phone's construction.

: A similar real advertisement regarding the chassis would be that it was {{w|waterproof}} down to some depth (say, 85 feet or 25 meters). See also the feature below regarding this.

; Soundproof

: A {{w|Soundproof}} chassis could result in the unwanted effect that the speakers and microphone may not work as no sound may enter or leave the phones chassis. A more likely feature would be waterproof (see above point).

; Can feel pain

: Possibly a reference to {{w|intelligent personal assistant|intelligent personal assistants}} like {{w|Siri}}, {{w|Cortana (software)|Cortana}} or {{w|Amazon Alexa|Alexa}} gaining consciousness (see [[1807: Listening]] for the latter). Such {{w|artificial intelligence}} references are a [[:Category:Artificial Intelligence|recurring subject]] on xkcd.

: This could mean that either the phone feels pain for damage inflicted upon it or it feels the user's pain level (regarding either physical and/or emotional pain). The meaning would quickly become apparent for the user if the chassis melts on contact with exposed skin leaving the phone with "open wounds".

: This could be seen as a similar feature of the first xkcd phone, [[1363: xkcd Phone]], where the title text notices (among many other things) that the ''phone will drown'' if submerged in water. A similar thing is also mentioned for [[1549: xkcd Phone 3]]. That phone is ''waterproof but can drown''. Since this phone is soundproof but not waterproof, per the two points above, the drowning issue may still be relevant. The second phone, [[1465: xkcd Phone 2]], ''cries when lost'' a similar display of emotions/feelings. That phone also mentions waterproofing, but here it is only the interior, and although it is washable, it is only a one-time feature (like the foldability of this one; see two points below). Finally, it also [[1707: xkcd Phone 4]] mentions that it is waterproof, but not between 30-50 m down...

; E-ZPass partnership<nowiki>:</nowiki> Phone can be dropped into coin basket to pay tolls

: {{w|E-ZPass}} is an electronic toll collection system. The vehicle drives through the toll lane without stopping, and sensors detect the pass and deduct the appropriate amount from the user's account. The phone's integration with E-ZPass is absurd since the phone needs to be dropped into a coin basket to work. Not only would you have to stop in order to throw the phone into the coin basket, which defies the idea of E-ZPass, but you would also lose your phone.

: In the title text, however, it says that the phone will be retrieved by the toll operators and returned by mail within 4–6 weeks. So, this slightly mitigates the problem of losing the phone, but there would be about a month where the phone could not be used.

; Foldable (once)

: Almost anything long and slim can be "folded" by simply snapping it in half. But as it says, this can only be done once, because the phone cannot be unsnapped and will not work anymore once it has been folded.

: This is a reference to the {{w|Samsung Galaxy Z series}} of phones that are really foldable like a piece of rubber. See [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fro_CNjxYwM this video].

: It could also refer to the fact that a version of iPhone had a weak spot that led it to easily folding and breaking. And it could be a reference to {{w|Flip (form)|flip phones}}.

; Screen transfers images to skin

: Transferring images to the skin sounds like either real {{w|tattoos}} or the water tattoos used by children or other kinds of {{w|temporary tattoos}}. Likely it should be understood that it would be possible to transfer the image displayed on the screen to your skin, hopefully when activating the feature rather than by accident, and, preferably, also not permanently. This may also be a reference to the experimental Cicret Bracelet's ability to project images onto your arm: [http://www.snopes.com/photos/technology/cicret.asp]

; Retina storage

: This is a play on the name of Apple's prized "{{w|Retina Display}}". The joke may be in reference to Apple's possession of a trademark for the word "retina" in regard to computer equipment, which is made to seem absurd by the unusual use. It is not made clear whose retinas are meant to be stored. It could also be a reference to retinal-implanted computers. The retina storage is a slot at the bottom of the phone right of the charging port.

; Background task automatically catches and eats Pokémon

: A reference to {{w|Pokémon Go}}, an augmented reality game where the goal is to go to specific locations and play a mini game in order to catch virtual creatures called {{w|Pokémon}} (see [[1705|1705: Pokémon Go]]). This phone apparently catches Pokémon automatically, similar to the external device {{w|Pokémon_Go#Pok.C3.A9mon_Go_Plus|Pokémon Go Plus}}. However, this feature also eats them, which is something that is not part of the game and wouldn't be desirable, as it is about collection and storing as many different Pokémon as possible. It could be a coincidence, but it seems funny that the label for this background feature is the only one that points at the back of the phone.

; Supercuts partnership<nowiki>:</nowiki> Trims hair fed into charging port

: {{w|Supercuts}} is an American hair salon chain that provides haircuts and styling. The implication here is that the user can get a haircut by Supercuts by sticking hair into the charging slot. This is not only impractical and would only work for hair long enough to be fed into the port, but it would most likely result in a bad haircut. Also, the slot would soon be filled with hair. The charging slot is otherwise placed in the normal spot and looks like a regular charging port.

: This feature could actually be quite dangerous if the hair is not removed from the charging slot afterwards because the hair could melt or catch fire inside the phone.

; Squelch knob

: {{w|Squelch}} is a feature of radios (CB, ham, scanner, etc) which quiets background noise when no usable signal is present. It cuts off audio completely when only noise is present. As different environments can have differing levels of background noise, an adjustment such as a knob is required to set the level at which the squelch circuit deactivates and lets audio through ("opening" or "breaking" the squelch). This feature already exists in audio call software but hardwiring it to a knob on the outside of the phone is probably excessive. For a smartphone, perhaps this knob could control the "signal-to-noise" ratio of your Facebook feed or other social media platforms. It takes the place of the headphone jack, replacing the normal hole with a small knob.

:Another thing it could be is that it plays "squelch" sound effects that can be adjusted with the knob, which fits with the phone melting at room temperature

; IBM buckling-spring Home button

: {{w|IBM}} {{w|Buckling spring|buckling-spring}} keyboards are favorites of geeks for the feeling of quality and auditory feedback (keys click loudly when pressed) they provide. Real smartphones' home buttons, typically located exactly as in this image, provide little to no such satisfaction when pressed.

; Cot-caught merger switch

: This is a reference to the {{w|cot–caught merger}}, a linguistic change happening among English speakers, particularly in some parts of North America and the British Isles, which causes caught (previously pronounced "kawt") to be pronounced the same as cot (pronounced "kot"). The switch is clearly visible on the side of the phone. A real feature physically similar to this is the slide switch on the iPhone and iPad, allowing the user to (un)lock the orientation of the screen or to (un)mute the device.

; 60x optical zoom camera

: A powerful optical {{w|zoom lens}} is usually a desirable feature for cameras. However, as shown in the comic, it results in very bulky lens. If 60× zoom should be achieved the lens needs to be as big as shown on the backside of the phone, and the whole idea of being able to carry the smartphone easily in a pocket would be defied.

: For that reason, such lenses are never used in smartphones, although rarely some devices, like the {{w|Samsung Galaxy Camera}}, use a smaller lens with a similar design. But this is no longer a smartphone.

: This feature would seem to be a jab at the variety of add-on devices, including close-up lenses, handles, and external flashes, which are currently in use to enhance the phone's ability to function like a camera (and the {{w|selfie stick}}).

: Some phones might instead mention their {{w|digital zoom}} level instead. But that is not a popular feature among photo enthusiasts, as digital zooming gains no additional optical resolution. Users would actually be better off using the maximum optical zoom, and then enlarging their images with photo-editing software, which might offer better, but slower, algorithms (e.g. {{w|linear resampling}} versus {{w|Lanczos resampling}}). Likewise, (mobile phone) cameras are often advertised with their high number of {{w|megapixel}}s, while retaining their small {{w|image sensor size}}. As each individual sensor gets less light, it creates more {{w|image noise}}.

: Randall has made several comics about cameras before; see for instance [[1719: Superzoom]] and other comics linked via this.

: Contrast the [https://www.easy-macro.com EasyMacro] band - 4x zoom with little appreciable thickness.

: Assuming 60x is referring to the base focal length of the iPhone and that the xkcd Phone 5 has the same dimensions as the iPhone 7 Plus then in 35mm format this lens would be 30-1800mm f/0.4-f/24. This is a completely infeasible (but not physically impossible) lens in 35mm format, but similar small format lenses (albeit with more reasonable aperture ranges) do exist in mass production, for example the Nikon P900.

; LORAN navigation

: {{w|LORAN}} (Long Range Navigation) was a precursor to modern {{W|Global Positioning System|GPS}} navigation, using land-based transmitters. Once developed for sea shipping, it is accurate to about 300 meters (1,000 feet). The joke, of course, is that all modern smartphones have integrated GPS navigation which is far more accurate. Due to the much lower frequencies involved, reception of LORAN signals though is much better in areas with obstructed view of the sky. However {{w|LORAN#Commercial_use.2C_decommissioning|LORAN has been decommissioned}} more or less completely since before 2000.

: Incidentally, some receivers of the {{w|Decca Navigator System}} (which operates on a similar principle as LORAN) featured moving map displays, something we associate with modern GPS devices.

; 28-factor authentication

: An {{w|Authentication#Factors and identity|authentication factor}} is a way of proving one's identity. There are [https://www.cse.msu.edu/~rossarun/BiometricsTextBook/Papers/Introduction/OGormanPasswdTokenBiometrics_IEEE03.pdf 3 generally recognized forms]: something you know, something you have, and something you are. It can be a password, a fingerprint, a physical key, etc.... Secure applications may include two or more factors; a common example is the "PIN and chip" system used with credit cards, where you need both the card and secret code to authorize a transaction. Many online services now provide two-factor authentication to protect against password-based attacks. 28-factor authentication would likely be very secure in theory but also so impractical that it would be unusable. The user will need to prove their identity 28 different ways which would be so time consuming that would outweigh the convenience of a smart phone. A 2-factor smoke detector was soon after mentioned in one of the tips in [[1820: Security Advice]].

The title text that says that the phone will be returned to you by the toll operators is a reference to E-ZPass partnership feature; see explanation in the table regarding that feature.

==Transcript==
:[An image of a smartphone with a common optical camera lens attached on its back is shown. Over the entire length the case is slightly rounded. There are several features visible as bottom like features at the top and bottom of the front as well a microphone like slit at the top. A sliding switch is visible on the side, and at the bottom there is a knob, a connector port and a small slit. Clockwise starting from the top left all the labels read:]
:Hook shot
:Bluetooth speaker
:Stained-glass display
:Gallium chassis remains solid up to 85°F
:Soundproof
:Can feel pain
:E-ZPass partnership: Phone can be dropped into coin basket to pay tolls
:Foldable (once)
:Screen transfers images to skin
:Retina storage
:Background task automatically catches and eats Pokémon
:Supercuts partnership: Trims hair fed into charging port
:Squelch knob
:IBM buckling-spring home button
:Cot-caught merger switch
:60x optical zoom camera
:''LORAN'' navigation
:28-factor authentication

:[Below the phone:]
:Introducing
:<big>The</big> <big><big>xkcd Phone 5</big></big>
:''We're trying to catch up to Apple but refuse to skip numbers®TM''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Pokémon]]

1809: xkcd Phone 5

2025-03-03T22:21:26Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 1809
| date = March 10, 2017
| title = xkcd Phone 5
| image = xkcd_phone_5.png
| titletext = The phone will be collected by the toll operators and mailed back to you within 4-6 weeks.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the fifth entry in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone series]], and once again, the comic plays with many standard tech buzzwords, and horribly misuses all of them, to create a phone that sounds impressive but self-evidently isn't to even the most ignorant customer. The previous comic in the series [[1707: xkcd Phone 4]] was released almost 8 months before this one and the next [[1889: xkcd Phone 6]] was released 7 months later.

The tagline beneath the phone, "We're trying to catch up to Apple but refuse to skip numbers", is a reference to inconsistent product numbering, such as {{w|Samsung}} releasing the {{w|Note 7}} after the {{w|Note 5}}, likely in an attempt to catch up to the numbering of either the {{w|iPhone}} or {{w|Galaxy S}} series, both of which were already at 7. Similarly, there was also no official ''iPhone 2''. But there is an [[xkcd Phone 2]] available.

This phone seems to have a curved display. But the edges are curved down and not up, as they are on other curved phones. From the top, going clockwise:

; Hook shot

: In ''{{w|The Legend of Zelda}}'' the [http://zelda.gamepedia.com/Hookshot Hook shot] is a recurring weapon/tool. It is a machine consisting of a chain and hook. When used, the chain extends and sends the hook which is attached to it. It is used to bring items to {{w|Link (The Legend of Zelda)|Link}} or bring Link closer to a goal (''Link'' is the name shared by the main protagonists, each possessing the Spirit of the Hero). Likely a reference to new video game ''{{w|The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild}}'', which was released a week prior to this comic (ironically, that game does not feature the Hook shot).

:In the comic, the hook shot is shown as a small port upon the phone's top; the hook itself is not visible, suggesting it is contained in the device until use. Most Hook shots in the game series are large enough to be grasped in or encompass the hand, with the hook being large and extending out of the tool even without use. The size of the port and absence of the hook before use implies a very small hook and a very thin chain, making it impractical{{citation needed}} for use in either of the tool's functions.

; Bluetooth speaker

: {{w|Bluetooth}} speakers are often used to play audio from a smartphone wirelessly, usually with more volume and better quality than the phone's small built-in speaker can provide. Embedding a bluetooth speaker into the phone would allow the phone to play audio from outside sources through its built-in speaker, which could be useful if no better speakers were available but would generally be avoided given the previously noted limitations of phone speakers. This is perhaps a jab at the current trend of playing music or Internet content audibly in public through the tiny, tiny speaker embedded in most phones. The Bluetooth speaker is located in the normal place for a phone's speaker.

:In addition to having no benefit in normal operation, the higher power usage from sending and receiving wireless signal to the built-in speaker would also result in shorter battery life when playing music; a characteristic that would already be undesirable on a regular phone, but is especially pressing given the highly dubious track record of previous xkcd phone models' batteries.

; Stained-glass display

: {{w|Stained glass}} is colored glass, traditionally used for decorative windows in buildings most often churches. It is generally much thicker and because of the color much less transparent, especially for some colors, than the glass types normally used for touchscreens, making the phone difficult to use as it would remove some of the colors shown on the screen below the glass. A typical feature noticed about the glass for real phones would be its strength, as in work phones for construction workers.

; Gallium chassis remains solid up to 85°F

: Many high-end electronic devices have chassis made of alloys of light metals such as {{w|magnesium}} or {{w|titanium}} rather than {{w|steel}} or {{w|plastic}}. Besides being lightweight and of superior quality and durability than ordinary sheet steel or cheap plastic, these are often perceived as bragging points by the users, boasting about 'rare' metal chassis.

: {{w|Gallium}}, however, is an uncommon metal with a very low melting point of 85 °F (or 29.8 °C), making it one of only four pure metals (along with {{w|Mercury (element)|mercury}}, {{w|rubidium}} and {{w|caesium}}) that can be liquid around room temperature. Because the melting point is lower than the average {{w|human body temperature}} of 98.6 °F (37 °C) a gallium smartphone chassis would melt in the user's bare hand, assuming it hadn't already done so due to heat produced by its internal components. Even if the electronics had good heat management, cooling in smartphones is normally accomplished by distributing heat to the case, not exhausting it.

: Gallium also displays many strange properties which would be undesirable in a phone, such as contact-permeating through the crystal structures of other metals used in the phone's construction.

: A similar real advertisement regarding the chassis would be that it was {{w|waterproof}} down to some depth (say, 85 feet or 25 meters). See also the feature below regarding this.

; Soundproof

: A {{w|Soundproof}} chassis could result in the unwanted effect that the speakers and microphone may not work as no sound may enter or leave the phones chassis. A more likely feature would be waterproof (see above point).

; Can feel pain

: Possibly a reference to {{w|intelligent personal assistant|intelligent personal assistants}} like {{w|Siri}}, {{w|Cortana (software)|Cortana}} or {{w|Amazon Alexa|Alexa}} gaining consciousness (see [[1807: Listening]] for the latter). Such {{w|artificial intelligence}} references are a [[:Category:Artificial Intelligence|recurring subject]] on xkcd.

: This could mean that either the phone feels pain for damage inflicted upon it or it feels the user's pain level (regarding either physical and/or emotional pain). The meaning would quickly become apparent for the user if the chassis melts on contact with exposed skin leaving the phone with "open wounds".

: This could be seen as a similar feature of the first xkcd phone, [[1363: xkcd Phone]], where the title text notices (among many other things) that the ''phone will drown'' if submerged in water. A similar thing is also mentioned for [[1549: XKCD Phone 3]]. That phone is ''waterproof but can drown''. Since this phone is soundproof but not waterproof, per the two points above, the drowning issue may still be relevant. The second phone, [[1465: xkcd Phone 2]], ''cries when lost'' a similar display of emotions/feelings. That phone also mentions waterproofing, but here it is only the interior, and although it is washable, it is only a one-time feature (like the foldability of this one; see two points below). Finally, it also [[1707: xkcd Phone 4]] mentions that it is waterproof, but not between 30-50 m down...

; E-ZPass partnership<nowiki>:</nowiki> Phone can be dropped into coin basket to pay tolls

: {{w|E-ZPass}} is an electronic toll collection system. The vehicle drives through the toll lane without stopping, and sensors detect the pass and deduct the appropriate amount from the user's account. The phone's integration with E-ZPass is absurd since the phone needs to be dropped into a coin basket to work. Not only would you have to stop in order to throw the phone into the coin basket, which defies the idea of E-ZPass, but you would also lose your phone.

: In the title text, however, it says that the phone will be retrieved by the toll operators and returned by mail within 4–6 weeks. So, this slightly mitigates the problem of losing the phone, but there would be about a month where the phone could not be used.

; Foldable (once)

: Almost anything long and slim can be "folded" by simply snapping it in half. But as it says, this can only be done once, because the phone cannot be unsnapped and will not work anymore once it has been folded.

: This is a reference to the {{w|Samsung Galaxy Z series}} of phones that are really foldable like a piece of rubber. See [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fro_CNjxYwM this video].

: It could also refer to the fact that a version of iPhone had a weak spot that led it to easily folding and breaking. And it could be a reference to {{w|Flip (form)|flip phones}}.

; Screen transfers images to skin

: Transferring images to the skin sounds like either real {{w|tattoos}} or the water tattoos used by children or other kinds of {{w|temporary tattoos}}. Likely it should be understood that it would be possible to transfer the image displayed on the screen to your skin, hopefully when activating the feature rather than by accident, and, preferably, also not permanently. This may also be a reference to the experimental Cicret Bracelet's ability to project images onto your arm: [http://www.snopes.com/photos/technology/cicret.asp]

; Retina storage

: This is a play on the name of Apple's prized "{{w|Retina Display}}". The joke may be in reference to Apple's possession of a trademark for the word "retina" in regard to computer equipment, which is made to seem absurd by the unusual use. It is not made clear whose retinas are meant to be stored. It could also be a reference to retinal-implanted computers. The retina storage is a slot at the bottom of the phone right of the charging port.

; Background task automatically catches and eats Pokémon

: A reference to {{w|Pokémon Go}}, an augmented reality game where the goal is to go to specific locations and play a mini game in order to catch virtual creatures called {{w|Pokémon}} (see [[1705|1705: Pokémon Go]]). This phone apparently catches Pokémon automatically, similar to the external device {{w|Pokémon_Go#Pok.C3.A9mon_Go_Plus|Pokémon Go Plus}}. However, this feature also eats them, which is something that is not part of the game and wouldn't be desirable, as it is about collection and storing as many different Pokémon as possible. It could be a coincidence, but it seems funny that the label for this background feature is the only one that points at the back of the phone.

; Supercuts partnership<nowiki>:</nowiki> Trims hair fed into charging port

: {{w|Supercuts}} is an American hair salon chain that provides haircuts and styling. The implication here is that the user can get a haircut by Supercuts by sticking hair into the charging slot. This is not only impractical and would only work for hair long enough to be fed into the port, but it would most likely result in a bad haircut. Also, the slot would soon be filled with hair. The charging slot is otherwise placed in the normal spot and looks like a regular charging port.

: This feature could actually be quite dangerous if the hair is not removed from the charging slot afterwards because the hair could melt or catch fire inside the phone.

; Squelch knob

: {{w|Squelch}} is a feature of radios (CB, ham, scanner, etc) which quiets background noise when no usable signal is present. It cuts off audio completely when only noise is present. As different environments can have differing levels of background noise, an adjustment such as a knob is required to set the level at which the squelch circuit deactivates and lets audio through ("opening" or "breaking" the squelch). This feature already exists in audio call software but hardwiring it to a knob on the outside of the phone is probably excessive. For a smartphone, perhaps this knob could control the "signal-to-noise" ratio of your Facebook feed or other social media platforms. It takes the place of the headphone jack, replacing the normal hole with a small knob.

:Another thing it could be is that it plays "squelch" sound effects that can be adjusted with the knob, which fits with the phone melting at room temperature

; IBM buckling-spring Home button

: {{w|IBM}} {{w|Buckling spring|buckling-spring}} keyboards are favorites of geeks for the feeling of quality and auditory feedback (keys click loudly when pressed) they provide. Real smartphones' home buttons, typically located exactly as in this image, provide little to no such satisfaction when pressed.

; Cot-caught merger switch

: This is a reference to the {{w|cot–caught merger}}, a linguistic change happening among English speakers, particularly in some parts of North America and the British Isles, which causes caught (previously pronounced "kawt") to be pronounced the same as cot (pronounced "kot"). The switch is clearly visible on the side of the phone. A real feature physically similar to this is the slide switch on the iPhone and iPad, allowing the user to (un)lock the orientation of the screen or to (un)mute the device.

; 60x optical zoom camera

: A powerful optical {{w|zoom lens}} is usually a desirable feature for cameras. However, as shown in the comic, it results in very bulky lens. If 60× zoom should be achieved the lens needs to be as big as shown on the backside of the phone, and the whole idea of being able to carry the smartphone easily in a pocket would be defied.

: For that reason, such lenses are never used in smartphones, although rarely some devices, like the {{w|Samsung Galaxy Camera}}, use a smaller lens with a similar design. But this is no longer a smartphone.

: This feature would seem to be a jab at the variety of add-on devices, including close-up lenses, handles, and external flashes, which are currently in use to enhance the phone's ability to function like a camera (and the {{w|selfie stick}}).

: Some phones might instead mention their {{w|digital zoom}} level instead. But that is not a popular feature among photo enthusiasts, as digital zooming gains no additional optical resolution. Users would actually be better off using the maximum optical zoom, and then enlarging their images with photo-editing software, which might offer better, but slower, algorithms (e.g. {{w|linear resampling}} versus {{w|Lanczos resampling}}). Likewise, (mobile phone) cameras are often advertised with their high number of {{w|megapixel}}s, while retaining their small {{w|image sensor size}}. As each individual sensor gets less light, it creates more {{w|image noise}}.

: Randall has made several comics about cameras before; see for instance [[1719: Superzoom]] and other comics linked via this.

: Contrast the [https://www.easy-macro.com EasyMacro] band - 4x zoom with little appreciable thickness.

: Assuming 60x is referring to the base focal length of the iPhone and that the xkcd Phone 5 has the same dimensions as the iPhone 7 Plus then in 35mm format this lens would be 30-1800mm f/0.4-f/24. This is a completely infeasible (but not physically impossible) lens in 35mm format, but similar small format lenses (albeit with more reasonable aperture ranges) do exist in mass production, for example the Nikon P900.

; LORAN navigation

: {{w|LORAN}} (Long Range Navigation) was a precursor to modern {{W|Global Positioning System|GPS}} navigation, using land-based transmitters. Once developed for sea shipping, it is accurate to about 300 meters (1,000 feet). The joke, of course, is that all modern smartphones have integrated GPS navigation which is far more accurate. Due to the much lower frequencies involved, reception of LORAN signals though is much better in areas with obstructed view of the sky. However {{w|LORAN#Commercial_use.2C_decommissioning|LORAN has been decommissioned}} more or less completely since before 2000.

: Incidentally, some receivers of the {{w|Decca Navigator System}} (which operates on a similar principle as LORAN) featured moving map displays, something we associate with modern GPS devices.

; 28-factor authentication

: An {{w|Authentication#Factors and identity|authentication factor}} is a way of proving one's identity. There are [https://www.cse.msu.edu/~rossarun/BiometricsTextBook/Papers/Introduction/OGormanPasswdTokenBiometrics_IEEE03.pdf 3 generally recognized forms]: something you know, something you have, and something you are. It can be a password, a fingerprint, a physical key, etc.... Secure applications may include two or more factors; a common example is the "PIN and chip" system used with credit cards, where you need both the card and secret code to authorize a transaction. Many online services now provide two-factor authentication to protect against password-based attacks. 28-factor authentication would likely be very secure in theory but also so impractical that it would be unusable. The user will need to prove their identity 28 different ways which would be so time consuming that would outweigh the convenience of a smart phone. A 2-factor smoke detector was soon after mentioned in one of the tips in [[1820: Security Advice]].

The title text that says that the phone will be returned to you by the toll operators is a reference to E-ZPass partnership feature; see explanation in the table regarding that feature.

==Transcript==
:[An image of a smartphone with a common optical camera lens attached on its back is shown. Over the entire length the case is slightly rounded. There are several features visible as bottom like features at the top and bottom of the front as well a microphone like slit at the top. A sliding switch is visible on the side, and at the bottom there is a knob, a connector port and a small slit. Clockwise starting from the top left all the labels read:]
:Hook shot
:Bluetooth speaker
:Stained-glass display
:Gallium chassis remains solid up to 85°F
:Soundproof
:Can feel pain
:E-ZPass partnership: Phone can be dropped into coin basket to pay tolls
:Foldable (once)
:Screen transfers images to skin
:Retina storage
:Background task automatically catches and eats Pokémon
:Supercuts partnership: Trims hair fed into charging port
:Squelch knob
:IBM buckling-spring home button
:Cot-caught merger switch
:60x optical zoom camera
:''LORAN'' navigation
:28-factor authentication

:[Below the phone:]
:Introducing
:<big>The</big> <big><big>xkcd Phone 5</big></big>
:''We're trying to catch up to Apple but refuse to skip numbers®TM''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Pokémon]]

416: Zealous Autoconfig

2025-03-03T22:00:44Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 416
| date = April 28, 2008
| title = Zealous Autoconfig
| image = zealous_autoconfig.png
| titletext = I hear this is an option in the latest Ubuntu release.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is seen in an attempt to connect his laptop to a Wi-Fi network using, as the comic title suggests, a particularly zealous "Wifi Autoconfig" utility — "zealous" being a synonym for {{Wiktionary|zealous|"eager" or "enthusiastic."}} The utility manages to find a secure access point named "Lenhart Family," presumably [[Miss Lenhart]]'s home Wi-Fi access point, and attempts to connect to it.

Instead of requesting a password, the program automatically begins a {{w|Dictionary attack|dictionary attack}}, entering in various commonly-used passwords in the hopes that Miss Lenhart has little regard for proper security measures (a flaw shared by many computer users). When this fails, the program attempts to exploit a {{w|Wired Equivalent Privacy|WEP}} vulnerability, which surprises Cueball. This also fails, possibly because Miss Lenhart used {{w|Wi-Fi Protected Access|WPA}} instead of WEP.

In the third panel, the autoconfig then connects to Cueball's Bluetooth phone and uses it to call a local school in order to locate the Lenhart children, who are attending there, and it reports that it has found them. It acts on this information in the fourth panel, notifying "field agents" to kidnap the Lenhart children for nonmonetary ransom, and then reports that the children are acquired (very fast it seems). With the children as hostages, the program begins negotiations with the parents, offering their safe return in exchange for the Wi-Fi password.

This puns on the computing sense of "negotiation": network protocols (such as HTTP) often specify routines whereby a server and a client computer can agree on the best format in which data can be transferred. This is called content negotiation or format negotiation (see for example [https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc7231#section-3.4 section 3.4 of the specification for "semantics and content" in HTTP]).

Cueball, frightened by these actions, repeatedly presses Ctrl+C in an attempt to cancel the process, with little success. Ctrl+C is used to abort programs started from a terminal (Unix/Linux) or a command line prompt (cmd.exe under Windows). (The alternative use of Ctrl+C in many graphical programs, as a shortcut for copying a text selection, is probably not what Cueball has in mind at this point.) Part of the humor is that he only attempts to cancel quite late in the process, well after (for instance) the school was first called, probably because of a morbid curiosity to see what happens.

The title text mentions {{w|Ubuntu}}, a Linux distribution that attempts to be as user-friendly as possible. [[Randall]] mentions that he has heard that this "user-friendly" ''Zealous Autoconfig'' option has already been installed in the latest Ubuntu release.

Problems that arise when you leave decisions to a computer program are also explored in depth in comic [[1619: Watson Medical Algorithm]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is sitting on a chair with his laptop in his lap. The text written on the laptop is shown above him, and there is a zigzag line from the laptop to the bottom of the last sentence.]
:Laptop: Starting WiFi autoconfig... searching for WiFi... Found no open networks.
:Laptop: Found secure net SSID "Lenhart Family"

:[Same setup, but Cueball has changed position. This time there are two zigzag lines between the two sentences from the laptop.]
:Laptop: Trying common passwords... Failed. Checking for WEP Vulnerabilities...
:Cueball: Um.
:Laptop: None found.

:[Cueball is still sitting with laptop in his lap, but his hand is on his chin, or perhaps covering his mouth in shock. A phone on table across room starts vibrating. Again, there is only one zigzag line to the bottom sentence from the laptop.]
:Laptop: Connecting to Bluetooth phone... Calling local school...
:Laptop: Found Lenhart children.

:[Zoom back to Cueball, who is furiously typing on his laptop, legs stretched out.]
:Laptop: Notifying field agents. Children acquired. Calling Lenhart parents. Negotiating for WiFi password...
:Cueball [typing] on laptop: '''''Ctrl-C Ctrl-C'''''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Miss Lenhart]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Linux]]

954: Chin-Up Bar

2025-03-03T20:05:02Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 954
| date = September 21, 2011
| title = Chin-Up Bar
| image = chin up bar.png
| titletext = Those few who escaped found the emergency cutoff box disabled. The stampede lasted two hours and reached the bottom three times.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Black Hat]] has once again showed everyone that he is a [[classhole]], with a plan to block traffic on presumably the {{w|Escalator#Longest individual escalators|longest single-tier escalator}} in the Western hemisphere.

It is possible that Randall was referring to the {{w|Wheaton station (Washington Metro)|Wheaton station}} in {{w|Washington D.C.}}'s {{w|Washington Metro}} subway system, where a 70-meter (230-foot) escalator is. It's clear that Black Hat knows it is the longest and that this is the reason he has chosen this exact escalator for his plan. However, if this is Wheaton Station, the comic's depiction of the escalator has several inaccuracies, meaning it is most likely situated in xkcd-land instead of real-life:
* The Wheaton station has three escalators.
* There are no vertical and perpendicular lines on the side of the escalators. Instead, they are perpendicular to the guard rail.
* In panel 9, there are two raised disks between the up and down escalators. While this is true in some escalators, the ones for Wheaton are very close together and there is only one column of raised disks.
* The up escalator leads to a fare gate where there are employees staffed near an elevator control kiosk who will help the elevator people.{{cn}}

Black Hat uses sly conversing methods to avoid saying his true motives for carrying a {{w|chin-up bar}}. Black Hat continues deflecting [[Cueball]]’s questions by stating that he's ''not a psychologist'', although he clearly is aware of his own motives and intentions. (One could argue that it would take a psychology degree to explain those motives and intentions.) After this they reach the top and once they get off Black Hat quickly turns around and locks the bar in place at about waist height (i.e. as high up as possible on an escalator), just before the moving part of the escalator ends.

Chin-up bars are typically capable of holding up a 300 pound (130 kg) person without moving, and a bar like Black Hat has brought with him can be [https://www.amazon.com/Sunny-Health-Fitness-Door-Chin/dp/B0016BNDXI/ref=sr_1_6?s=sports-and-fitness&ie=UTF8&qid=1470541509&sr=1-6&keywords=chin+up+bar installed easily in a doorway], or in the opening of an escalator…

The unexpected appearance of a solidly attached bar at the top of a crowded escalator could be disastrous. The first people would probably stumble backward to avoid it or hit it and topple backwards, and collide with the passengers immediately behind them, knocking them off their feet and likely creating a {{w|domino effect}} all the way down. Indeed, this is exactly what happens and is depicted in the last panel. Black Hat and Cueball are seen on the descending escalator in the background, Cueball has turned around looking at the scene and displaying worry about what Black Hat has done, but Black Hat isn't even looking at the chaos he has caused, completely ignoring all the falling bodies. Although it might be possible, the two are fairly lucky to be unscathed, as they could have been hit by someone in the pileup falling all the way over in their side of the escalator. Since they are most likely on the way down to a subway, the traffic should make it easy for them to get away on the next train, before anyone has a chance to try and find the perpetrator, so Black Hat gets away with his schemes once again.

In the title text it is made clear that the few people that actually escaped the moving stairs were unable to use the emergency shutdown because Black Hat had disabled the system, presumably before ascending in the first place. This is stated to have caused the {{w|stampede}} to last for two hours and waves of falling people would end up reaching the bottom three times, before ascending with the stairs again. The reason for this extended mayhem could be that only the very first people at the top of this domino effect who actually hit the chin-up-bar know what caused the problem to begin with. Since they are likely among those people too hurt to explain anything in time, the next group of people trying to get out after the first wave of falling people might just proceed to run into the same problem at the top once again. The problem is exacerbated by the disabled shutoff, so even if someone sees the chin-up-bar and knows how to escape, they would either be pulled back into the crowd of traffic or be free but unable to help. This helps to explain why the cycle of crowd collapse happened three times, and the use of the word "stampede" connotes the panicked, unorganized behavior of the trapped people that serves to make the problem worse.

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat is in the middle of on an escalator with five other people as it ascends. He carries something like a pole.]

:[Zoom in on Black Hat and Cueball.]
:Cueball: This is a long escalator.
:Black Hat: 70 meters. Longest in the country.

:[Black Hat goes upwards holding his pole.]

:[Cueball is still behind Black Hat.]
:Cueball: Why're you carrying a chin-up bar?
:Black Hat: Why aren't you wearing a hat?

:[The view returns to the original view only showing the six people ascending, only shifted so they are all a bit longer to the right.]
:Cueball: I'm not really a hat person.
:Black Hat: And I'm not really a not-carrying-a-chin-up-bar person.

:[Close up on Cueball on the escalator.]

:[Zoom out. Black Hat still has the pole in his hands.]
:Cueball: Seriously, why did you bring it?
:Black Hat: How should I know? I'm not a psychologist.

:[Zoom in on the top of the escalator where Black Hat steps off and installs the chin-up bar on the exit of the escalator.]
:''Twist'' ''Click'' ''Click''

:[View from above towards both ascending and descending escalators. Black Hat and Cueball are on the descending escalator.]

:[The final panel takes up two entire rows and shows all people falling down.]

==Trivia==
It would appear that the man behind Cueball with glasses and a goatee is the psychologist from [[435: Purity]], and then Megan next to him could be the sociologist from the same comic. This gives new meaning to Black Hat's line about not being a psychologist.

Escalators were also the subject of the earlier comic [[252: Escalators]], a rather more funny take on these dangerous devices.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Psychology]]
[[Category:Sabotage]]

2949: Network Configuration

2025-02-27T19:39:50Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 2949
| date = June 21, 2024
| title = Network Configuration
| image = network_configuration_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = If you repeatedly rerun the development of technological civilization, it turns out that for some reason the only constant is that there is always a networking utility called 'netcat', though it does a different thing in each one.
}}

==Explanation==
In this comic, [[Cueball]] takes an uncommon networking bug - needing to establish a fresh connection for each {{w|Network_packet|packet}} sent - to the extreme. Instead of merely redoing the appropriate handshakes for data transfer, he is reconstructing the entire {{w|Human_history|history of human civilization}} each time. As this originally took multiple millennia, doing it for every network packet would make communication ''extremely'' slow; in modern networking, we send and receive thousands of packets every second.

Randall may be using a double meaning of the word "rebuild." Instead of just rebuilding his network settings - starting fresh with a clean setup - he is rebuilding civilization itself from scratch, an extreme type of "first principles thinking."

In the last frame of the comic, Cueball looks shaggy and dirty and has a {{w|Hoe_(tool)|grub hoe}} behind him, making it clear he is performing these tasks ''in real life'' just to get his network working again. He says the network packet was stuck in the {{w|Neolithic}} era, the final period of the Stone Age that marked the transition from hunter-gatherer lifestyle to one of settlement. Apparently, Cueball had to go through the effort of inventing farming (one of the developments of the {{w|Neolithic Revolution}}) to keep communicating with [[Ponytail]]. He has also had to build himself a new wooden chair (and possibly desk), and hasn't yet got to the point of developing a notebook computer, so is using an under-desk tower PC connected to a chunky monitor. Presumably his previous equipment and furniture were lost in resetting to the Neolithic, though this seems to have been a localized effect, given that Ponytail appears unaffected.

"Inventing farming takes '''''forever'''''" references the actual rather complex process of inventing farming. First, we needed the last Ice Age to end - around 11,000 years ago - to create suitable climatic environments for agriculture. Then we required advancements in plant cultivation, animal domestication, and tool development - lots of time and experimentation involved there. And the transition from hunter-gatherer societies to sedentary farming communities also needed significant social and cultural adaptations (e.g., new organizational structures).

Randall Munroe is familiar with the popular creative nonfiction topic of what it takes to rebuild civilization, the subject of a book he blurbed on its cover, [https://www.howtoinventeverything.com/ How to Invent Everything], by Ryan North, fellow cartoonist.
* The topic of rebuilding a civilization from scratch was also referenced in comic [[1380: Manual for Civilization]] and in the title text of [[2347: Dependency]].

The title text discusses {{w|netcat}}, a simple utility to make a {{w|Transmission Control Protocol|TCP connection}} which comes in annoyingly incompatible [https://manpages.debian.org/stretch/netcat-traditional/nc.1.en.html nc.traditional] and [https://manpages.debian.org/stretch/netcat-openbsd/nc.1.en.html nc.openbsd] varieties.

In addition, the tendency for civilizations to independently develop netcat may be an allusion to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, in which 85% of all planets invariably develop a cocktail whose name is, by pure coincidence, a phonetic homophone to “gin and tonic”, such as the Jynnan tonnyx, while varying wildly in composition. The word "netcat" is a composite of "net" (most likely standing for network each time, although could relate to some form of mesh/trap, a topology or an amount less any deductions), and "cat", which references the Unix utility {{w|Cat (Unix)|cat}}, or it may be an abbreviation (for example for catalogue, category, catalyst, catastrophe etc.), or even actually referring to a cat. The various possible combinations could encompass a wide variation in function of similarly named processes.

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail is sitting on an office chair at her computer with a headset on. A zigzag line indicates what is shown on the computer screen]
:Ponytail (typing): Ugh, your connection is so laggy.
:Computer: Yeah, sorry.

:[Cueball is sitting on an office chair at his laptop]
:Cueball (typing): It's because I messed up my network configuration and now I have to rebuild a separate civilization from scratch for each packet.

:[Ponytail at her computer]
:Ponytail (typing): Huh?
:Ponytail (typing): What are you talking about?
:Ponytail (typing): ...Hello?

:[Beat panel, with Ponytail sitting in front of her computer waiting for a response from Cueball]

:[Cueball, with dirt on his head and around him, is at an old computer setup with a hoe leaning on his now non-office chair, blade on the floor]
:Cueball (typing): Sorry, got stuck in the Neolithic that time.
:Cueball (typing): Inventing farming takes '''''forever'''''.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Cueball Computer Problems]]

2949: Network Configuration

2025-02-27T19:38:45Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 2949
| date = June 21, 2024
| title = Network Configuration
| image = network_configuration_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = If you repeatedly rerun the development of technological civilization, it turns out that for some reason the only constant is that there is always a networking utility called 'netcat', though it does a different thing in each one.
}}

==Explanation==
In this comic, [[Cueball]] takes an uncommon networking bug - needing to establish a fresh connection for each {{w|Network_packet|packet}} sent - to the extreme. Instead of merely redoing the appropriate handshakes for data transfer, he is reconstructing the entire {{w|Human_history|history of human civilization}} each time. As this originally took multiple millennia, doing it for every network packet would make communication ''extremely'' slow; in modern networking, we send and receive thousands of packets every second.

Randall may be using a double meaning of the word "rebuild." Instead of just rebuilding his network settings - starting fresh with a clean setup - he is rebuilding civilization itself from scratch, an extreme type of "first principles thinking."

In the last frame of the comic, Cueball looks shaggy and dirty and has a {{w|Hoe_(tool)|grub hoe}} behind him, making it clear he is performing these tasks ''in real life'' just to get his network working again. He says the network packet was stuck in the {{w|Neolithic}} era, the final period of the Stone Age that marked the transition from hunter-gatherer lifestyle to one of settlement. Apparently, Cueball had to go through the effort of inventing farming (one of the developments of the {{w|Neolithic Revolution}}) to keep communicating with [[Ponytail]]. He has also had to build himself a new wooden chair (and possibly desk), and hasn't yet got to the point of developing a notebook computer, so is using an under-desk tower PC connected to a chunky monitor. Presumably his previous equipment and furniture were lost in resetting to the Neolithic, though this seems to have been a localized effect, given that Ponytail appears unaffected.

"Inventing farming takes '''''forever'''''" references the actual rather complex process of inventing farming. First, we needed the last Ice Age to end - around 11,000 years ago - to create suitable climatic environments for agriculture. Then we required advancements in plant cultivation, animal domestication, and tool development - lots of time and experimentation involved there. And the transition from hunter-gatherer societies to sedentary farming communities also needed significant social and cultural adaptations (e.g., new organizational structures).

Randall Munroe is familiar with the popular creative nonfiction topic of what it takes to rebuild civilization, the subject of a book he blurbed on its cover, [https://www.howtoinventeverything.com/ How to Invent Everything], by Ryan North, fellow cartoonist.
* The topic of rebuilding a civilization from scratch was also referenced in comic [[1380: Manual for Civilization]] and in the title text of [[2347: Dependency]].

The title text discusses {{w|netcat}}, a simple utility to make a {{w|Transmission Control Protocol|TCP connection}} which comes in annoyingly incompatible [https://manpages.debian.org/stretch/netcat-traditional/nc.1.en.html nc.traditional] and [https://manpages.debian.org/stretch/netcat-openbsd/nc.1.en.html nc.openbsd] varieties.

In addition, the tendency for civilizations to independently develop netcat may be an allusion to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, in which 85% of all planets invariably develop a cocktail whose name is, by pure coincidence, a phonetic homophone to “gin and tonic”, such as the Jynnan tonnyx, while varying wildly in composition. The word "netcat" is a composite of "net" (most likely standing for network each time, although could relate to some form of mesh/trap, a topology or an amount less any deductions), while "cat" references the Unix utility {{w|Cat (Unix)|cat}}, or it may be an abbreviation (for example for catalogue, category, catalyst, catastrophe etc.), or even actually referring to a cat. The various possible combinations could encompass a wide variation in function of similarly named processes.

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail is sitting on an office chair at her computer with a headset on. A zigzag line indicates what is shown on the computer screen]
:Ponytail (typing): Ugh, your connection is so laggy.
:Computer: Yeah, sorry.

:[Cueball is sitting on an office chair at his laptop]
:Cueball (typing): It's because I messed up my network configuration and now I have to rebuild a separate civilization from scratch for each packet.

:[Ponytail at her computer]
:Ponytail (typing): Huh?
:Ponytail (typing): What are you talking about?
:Ponytail (typing): ...Hello?

:[Beat panel, with Ponytail sitting in front of her computer waiting for a response from Cueball]

:[Cueball, with dirt on his head and around him, is at an old computer setup with a hoe leaning on his now non-office chair, blade on the floor]
:Cueball (typing): Sorry, got stuck in the Neolithic that time.
:Cueball (typing): Inventing farming takes '''''forever'''''.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Cueball Computer Problems]]

535: It Might Be Cool

2025-02-27T17:42:27Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 535
| date = January 26, 2009
| title = It Might Be Cool
| image = it_might_be_cool.png
| titletext = 'And ovaries. Man, ovaries, huh?' [awkward pause] '... faithfully.'
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] (or [[Randall]]) is musing about the possibility of being a woman, to the confusion of the man next to him. His uninsightful rambling would likely be unimpressive and somewhat odd in most situations, but not odd enough on its own to prompt the second man's baffled reaction. However, the true reason for his confusion is revealed by the caption: Cueball is administering the {{w|Oath of office of the President of the United States|presidential oath}}. The oath is administered by reciting it to prompt a new president to repeat it back to them. However, he botches it completely by forgetting about his task and wondering aloud about an unrelated topic. Thus, the president's confused question at the beginning is not him asking for clarification; he is repeating what he at first believed to be the oath of office, but got flustered when he realized Cueball had deviated from the script. When Cueball then continues by replying that "the menstruation thing is freaky," the president is completely derailed.

On January 20, 2009 the inauguration of {{w|Barack Obama}}'s first office took place. Chief Justice {{w|John Roberts}}, who was administering the oath, {{w|Oath of office of the President of the United States#Mishaps|made a mistake}} while reciting the words. This comic references the event and wildly exaggerates the deviation from the oath for comedic purposes.

In truth, the error was rather small: the oath as prescribed in the constitution is:
:I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States and will to the best of my ability preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States.

Due to a missed memo on the pauses planned by the Chief Justice, Obama inadvertently interrupted Roberts during the first phrase - Roberts begins by saying I, Barack Obama, do solemnly swear, and Obama repeats his name while Roberts finishes that sentence. This disturbs Roberts who was not using notes, and he rendered the next phrase as "that I will execute the office of president to the United States faithfully," misplacing the word ''faithfully'' and saying ''president to'' instead of ''president of''. Obama repeated, "that I will execute", then paused. Roberts attempted to correct the wording, but stumbled: "the off— faithfully the pres— the office of President of the United States." Obama then repeated Roberts' initial incorrect wording.

However small the error was it was big enough that Obama did {{w|Oath of office of the President of the United States#Oath mishaps|retake the oath of office}} the day after the mistake was made.

The title text continues the wondering about being a woman going on from the {{w|menstruation}} to the {{w|ovaries}}. To make sure it is clearly the oath mistake that is referenced the sentence ends with '... faithfully.' Thus mimicking the real mistake of placing this word last.

Cueball might be an [https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Egg egg], an individual who is transgender and unaware of such.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is administering the presidential oath with the coming president also drawn as Cueball.]
:Cueball: You know, it might be cool to be a woman.
:President: It... might be cool to be a woman?
:Cueball: Yeah, but the menstruation thing is freaky.
:President: Yeah, but... the... um. What?

:[Caption below the frame:]
:Turns out I'm even worse at administering the presidential oath than John Roberts.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring politicians]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

3039: Human Altitude

2025-01-19T14:01:56Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 3039
| date = January 17, 2025
| title = Human Altitude
| image = human_altitude_2x.png
| imagesize = 508x495px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I wonder what surviving human held the record before balloons (excluding edge cases like jumping gaps on a mountain bridge). Probably it was someone falling from a cliff into snow or water, but maybe it involved something weird like a gunpowder explosion or volcano.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT HILARIOUSLY STUCK IN A TREBUCHET- Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
The comic purports to show the altitudes of humans over time, starting from a little after 1700. The conceit is that it indicates the ''single'' most altitudinous individual at any given time, so does not follow any particular person but would switch focus to whichever representative of humanity becomes "the highest up" (whether by rising above the previous leader, or by remaining high as the other loses their own elevation). There will necessarily be a degree of artistic interpretation and presumed trajectory of this particular marker, although the general trend of the line appears to be inspired by (some) actual factual realities. It uses a [[Log Scale | logarithmic vertical scale]] in order to indicate the finer details of 'low level' altitudes, yet fit the highest achievements onto the page. The measurements do not count altitude ''due'' to the ground beneath them, so a resident of {{w|Tibet}} or the {{w|Andes|high Peruvian Andes}} (for example) does not normally gain any particular advantage.

Prior to 1783, the {{w|Montgolfier brothers#Piloted flight, autumn_1783|first confirmed ascent}} of a human in a balloon, the line's high-points are indicated to be due to "various falls", i.e. a person who ''was'' on the top of a particularly high building/cliff/tree suddenly finding themselves (for an instant or two, at least) the person 'lucky' enough to be considered the furthest above the ground (it is at times like this that living at a higher absolute altitude ''might'' grant an 'advantage' to the individual who suddenly discovers their previously high standing-spot to no longer be as reliable as they thought). It also suggests that "catapult accidents", such as accidentally, or maybe [https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2005/nov/01/highereducation.students not so accidentally] being caught in a sling on a {{w|trebuchet}} when it is fired (indicated as "hilarious") may also contribute to the (momentary) gain in altitude. The limit to this period's ability to exist at altitude appears to be around 100 metres, which is perhaps mostly what a particular precipitous (and precarious) cliff-top might contribute to the situation.

Once {{w|balloon}} flights start, heights of up to 10km are attained. And though there were some {{w|List of ballooning accidents|dangers}} from this, as early aeronauts discovered, it might at least now be presumed that some of these peaks were attained by individuals who had previously marked a prior instantaneous altitude on the graph.

Shortly after the 1900s, {{w|airplanes}} dominate the graph. And the rise in utility of passenger aircraft (before World War 2; but especially afterwards, following a period where regular and extended high-altitude flight has been experienced by bomber pilots of various nations) ensures not only that there are people attaining greater and greater altitudes, but also that there are also always ''other'' people in the air, ensuring that the lesser 'maximum altitude' periods still have people a significant number of kilometres in the air.

Interestingly, the lower-limit, all the way up to the invention of the airplane, seems to stay at about two metres (around 1881, the lowest marked position seems to be only slightly above 1 metre), which might represent the possibility of there always being at least ''someone'' climbing up a ladder and/or jumping off of a hay-cart. This does not, of course, discount the possibility that there are persons with greater altitude, as the parts ''between'' the lowermost fluctuations represents occurances of greater vertical displacement.

Once {{w|spaceflight}} becomes a thing (interestingly, marked around the late 1960s, though it actually started in April 1961), that greatly increases the upper spikes for the (implied) duration of the {{w|Orbital spaceflight|orbital flights}}.

The {{w|Apollo Program}} is then indicated by both label and a notable spike as (between {{w|Apollo 8}} in December 1968 and {{w|Apollo 17}} in December 1972), men from Earth were sent around the Moon and attained altitudes 'above the Earth' of approximately 400,000km in the process. Note that the disclaimer "(very approximate)" in the chart's title also applies here, as the graph shows fewer spikes than actual Moon orbitings or landings performed.

Since the end of the original Moon landings, the upper spikes settled down quite significantly back to 'only' generally low orbital distances, but the very latest era, marked "Space Station", seems to coincide with the current continuous inhabitation of space, which officially started in November 2000. Since that date, there has ''always'' been someone at approximately 400km altitude (give or take changes in the orbit, and of the terrain below), with occasionally some yet higher person(s) on certain missions (e.g. servicing the {{w|Hubble Space Telescope}}, May 2009 at 515km). The graph does not ''seem'' to show the blip created by {{w|Polaris Dawn}}'s 1,400 km 'new record' of September 2024, but this may be ''just'' off the right-hand edge of the graph.

Though the historical validity is sometimes argued, it is interesting to note that (as early as the 6th century CE), experiments with man-flying kites may have produced (semi-)brief spikes in the altitude record for the time.
Also, workers and bell-ringers in medieval cathedrals, or attendants at the Lighthouse of Alexandria, would have been substantially above the "tens of meters" level. Moreover, the Eiffel tower has been open to visitors since its opening in 1899, which would have ensured some people to be at at least 276m, during the opening hours. This indicates that people standing on buildings and tall structures do not count for the purpose of the graph, and combined with the fact that tornadoes can lift people high in the air and touch them down alive, it may be that Randall excluded cases in which the person was supported by a structure or wind.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:Height above Earth's surface of the highest-altitude human over time
:(very approximate)

:[A line graph is shown, with frequent spikes on the line. The y-axis is a logarithmic scale from 1 meter to 1,000,000 km. The x-axis shows years from about 1710 to 2025.]

:[Label between 1720s and 1780s, maximum height is roughly 100 meters:]
:Various falls and hilarious catapult accidents

:[Label with multiple arrows, from 1780s to 1910s, maximum height is roughly 10 km:]
:Balloon flights

:[Label with multiple arrows, from 1910s to 1960s, maximum height increases to roughly 100 km:]
:Airplane flights

:[Label with arrow, in the late 1960s, maximum height is roughly 500 km:]
:Spaceflight

:[Label with arrow, in the 1970s, maximum height is roughly 500,000 km:]
:Apollo Program

:[Label between 1990s and 2025, the average height after 2000 is roughly 500 km:]
:Space station

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Aviation]]

3018: Second Stage

2024-11-30T10:20:53Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 3018
| date = November 29, 2024
| title = Second Stage
| image = second_stage_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Hmm, they won't do in-flight delivery, so let's order a new first and second stage to our emergency landing site and then try to touch down on top of them to save time.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a SECOND STAGE AMAZON DELIVERY DRIVER - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is about how rockets use multiple stages when lifting off, and in the comic, they installed too few stages. This is unlikely to happen in real life, because a lot of work goes into planning rockets{{cn}}. As the second stage is supposed to be started (according to the first pilot), the second pilot is initially confused and asks if a second stage was needed. The first pilot confirms that there was supposed to be a second stage, and thought that it was the second pilot's responsibility to install and confirm there was a second stage. When both pilots realize there is no second stage, the second pilot, naturally, thinks he can order one on Amazon with same day delivery (though Amazon typically doesn't sell space ship stages - at least not with same day delivery {{cn}}). He then has difficulty picking an address zip code as they are likely traveling too high above the ground and too fast to be in a single postal area for long enough for the delivery to take place. The joke is likely poking fun at people becoming highly dependent upon [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amazon_(company) Amazon delivery] and that they don't need to remember to bring things on trips since they can have almost anything delivered to them while they travel.

The comic depicts a manned rocket launch, and the start of its subsequent flight. All current rockets, that are capable of sending manned capsules to orbit, do so by the initial rocket engines and fuel-tank being expended (or nearly so, where there is reusability) and disconnected to allow the smaller next stage to fire and continue the boost towards orbit with altitude-optimal engines and without the mass of the spent fuel tanks. Above this second stage may be one or more other stages, as required for the mission, which generally involves propulsion that is optimal for use in the vacuum of space, having a larger specific impulse but lower overall thrust, allowing for maneuvers to be completed with less fuel.



Note: the rocket design, though apparently at least one segment short, appears to be substantially taller than the launch tower of the pad, which is a strangely incongruous detail. Unless the real rocket support is an angled back "hard spine" structure that has been rotated out of the way and down into the exhaust-flume/flame-trench quenching system.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[A multi-stage rocket, with a capsule on top, is lifting-off the ground from a launchpad, at least two rocket nozzles are visibly producing a flame, and the pad is surrounded with smoke and/or steam from the blast suppression system. A voice comes from the capsule at the top.]
:We have liftoff.

:[The first stage separates from the rest of the rocket, part way through the roll-program. There are no obvious engines standing out from the 'second stage' (or extended payload trunk) lower shroud.]
:Main engine cutoff.
:Stage separation confirmed.
:We are go for second stage burn.

:Second stage?

:Yes.
:...What?

:[The first stage and the rest of the rocket are drifting apart in apparent freefall. No rocket is firing and the background does not seem to indicate that this view is beyond the atmosphere.]
:We were supposed to have a second stage?

:...Yes!

:Did '''''you''''' set up a second stage?

:I thought '''''you''''' were handling staging!

:Oh no.

:[They continue to drift apart slowly.]
:Okay, don't panic.
:Lemme see if we can order a stage online for same-day delivery.

:''Sigh''.

:Hey, what zip code should I put? Ours keeps changing.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Rockets]]

2966: Exam Numbers

2024-08-01T10:21:54Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 2966
| date = July 31, 2024
| title = Exam Numbers
| image = exam_numbers_2x.png
| imagesize = 553x400px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Calligraphy exam: Write down the number 37, spelled out, nicely.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by 10 MORE THAN AVERAGE MATH TEACHERS - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The comic depicts various similarly formatted examination questions that might appear on test papers at various points in a student's potential academic career. While they all share a similar feel, they are asking for different things, some of which might be considered more serious and examinable proofs of study than others. The joke is that the first and last questions are the same, but have very different interpretations based on the context.
{| class="wikitable"
|+ Exam numbers
! Exam level !! Question !! Answer
|-
| {{w|Kindergarten}} math || Write down the biggest number you can think of || At a kindergarten-level education, it is assumed that an individual might write down a relatively small number like 300, depending upon whether they have encountered the concept of hundreds. It might also be interpreted as "what's the highest number that you (think you) can count up to". Given the nature of a child's exuberant glee at learning about ''really'' big (but otherwise normal) numbers, they may even try an answer something like "a million billion squillion gazillion". It is not certain what criteria would be used to mark this question correct or otherwise, it may actually be a stealth question in child psychology or a question that everybody "gets right" so long as they answer it.
|-
| Pre-{{w|algebra}} || Write down the value of x if x=3x-8 ||

''3x'' refers to the multiplication of 3 and the originally unknown number ''x'', as a convenient shorthand.

By subtracting ''3x'' from both sides, ''-2x = -8''. Divide both sides by -2 to find ''x''=4. Alternately, subtract ''x'' from both sides to give ''0 = 2x - 8'', and as taking 8 from two ''x''s makes it zero, one ''x'' is half that

(Verify by plugging ''x''=4 into the original equation. '''4''' = (3*'''4''') - 8 -> '''4''' = 12 - 8 -> '''4''' = 4.)
|-
| {{w|Calculus}} || Write down the value of ∫0π x sin2 x dx || The integral of the expression is ''((x-sin(2*x))*2*x-cos(2*x))/8 + C''. Plugging in values for ''x'' gives the result as π2/4 = 2.4674...

If one assumes sin2 is an {{w|iterated function}} instead of a square, one instead gets π2{{w|Struve function|H0(1)}}/2 = 2.8062...
|-
| PhD {{w|Cosmology}} || Write down the Hubble constant to within 1% || The Hubble constant is a component of {{w|Hubble%27s_law|Hubble's law}}, which describes the relationship between the distance between galaxies and their speed of separation. Its exact value is not known to this level of accuracy; it is about 2.3×10-18 Hz. Different methods of measuring it have come up with significantly different values, and resolving this difference (the {{w|Hubble's_law#Hubble_tension|Hubble tension}}) is one of the great challenges of modern cosmology. This question might have a different acceptable answer in the future, depending upon further developments in cosmology (although the 'constant' itself changes over time).
|-
| {{w|Game Theory}} || Write down 10 more than the average of the class's answers || Game Theory studies "games" (and 'game-like' situations) in which two or more participants take actions that will succeed or fail based on other participants' decisions. In this case, all students' answers will be averaged (what kind of average is not stated, but the common assumption would be an {{w|arithmetical mean}}), and the highest- (or perhaps only) scoring answer will be one that is 10 more than that average.

If a student knew what everyone else was thinking, this would incentivise them to answer 10 more than the consensus (taking into account their own forthcoming answer), which would not necessarily be the largest number written down. For instance, if the answers end up being 30, 40, 50, 60, and 70, the (mean) average would be 50, making 60 the most correct answer. Since they presumably do not know each other's answers, they will have to guess what those answers are likely to be, factoring in that each of the other students will also be guessing everyone's answers and responding accordingly.

In reality, most game theory exams test your understanding of game theory as an academic subject, not your ability to win games. (A type of class where actual results may result in better grades is a business negotiation class where the results of practice negotiations can determine one's grade on the assignment.)

Something similar to this question is found in the title text of [[2385: Final Exam]].
|-
| Postgraduate Math || Write down the biggest number you can think of || This question echoes the very first example, but would be expected to be answered very differently (unlike a revisiting of most of the others).
Postgraduate math students can probably think of ''very'' large numbers. While the "best" answer could be "{{w|infinity}}" (since, depending on your definition of the word "number", infinity may be the largest possible number that you will have encountered), students familiar with the field of [https://googology.fandom.com/wiki/Googology#History Googology] may consider infinity a concept rather than a number, and might give an answer such as Rayo's Number, which was the winning entry in the [https://googology.fandom.com/wiki/Big_Number_Duel Big Number Duel]. Even if infinity is an acceptable answer, some infinities are bigger than others.

This might heavily depend upon the branch of mathematics you are studying. However, as named (finite) numbers, or ones with specific and useful notations, might satisfy some questioning contexts, whilst the existence of a whole further set of trans-finite numbers (i.e. increasingly large types of "infinity") would be important considerations in others. For those associated with more computational mathematics, any infinity be {{w|NaN|Not a Number}}, and their answer might instead be the ceiling of some binary representation (typically ''28n-1'' for some value of ''n''), the largest value reliably storable in byte form (e.g. a {{w|Integer (computer science)|double quadword}}).

As with the kindergarten question, there may be no previously anticipated "correct" answer. It could be another "correct just so long as you answer it" (or perhaps "sensibly" so) or the mark goes only to those giving the greatest number across all submissions.
|-
| {{w|Calligraphy}} (title text) || Write down the number 37, spelled out, nicely || Calligraphy is the art of artistic writing. The title text expands the joke outside the realm of math and points out that since calligraphy does not require any math skills, the only way a calligraphy exam would even mention numbers is if one had to write them out in such a way as to showcase their calligraphic skill. In this case, it could be rendered as "thirty-seven" or "thirty seven". {{w|37}} is a number that some people believe [http://thirty-seven.org mysteriously appears more often than it should]; this was a subject of a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6iQrh2TK98 recent Veritasium video].
|}

This style of final exam question, un-numbered and therefore possibly the ''only'' question upon the whole of each final paper, in some ways (for some instances) echoes the question "What is your name?" that Randall will be aware was the sole question given to Discworld's {{w|List of Discworld characters#Victor Tugelbend|Victor Tugelbend}} in an attempt to ensure he comprehensively passed (or utterly failed) his final student-wizard's exam, after many prior times of deliberately not-quite-passing.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[6 different math test questions.]

:[The first panel:]
:Kindergarten math final exam
:Q. Write down the biggest number you can think of
:A. [empty box]

:[The second panel:]
:Pre-algebra final exam
:Q. Write down the value of x if x=3x-8
:A. [empty box]

:[The third panel:]
:Calculus final exam
:Q. Write down the value of [integral sign, from 0 to pi] x sin^2 x dx
:A. [empty box]

:[The fourth panel:]
:PhD cosmology final exam
:Q. Write down the Hubble constant to within 1%
:A. [empty box]

:[The fifth panel:]
:Game theory final exam
:Q. Write down 10 more than the average of the class's answers
:A. [empty box]

:[The sixth panel:]
:Postgraduate math final exam
:Q. Write down the biggest number you can think of
:A. [empty box]

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Cosmology]]

396: The Ring

2024-07-25T09:39:40Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 396
| date = March 14, 2008
| title = The Ring
| image = the_ring.png
| titletext = On the other hand, poor Samara -- transcoded to FLV. No one deserves that.
}}

==Explanation==
''{{w|The Ring (2002 film)|The Ring}}'' is a {{w|horror movie}} released in 2002 based off of the Japanese movie ''{{w|Ring (film)|Ringu}}''. In it, there is a video tape that causes everyone who watches it to die after seven days. However, the viewer can prevent their death by making a copy of the tape and giving it to someone else.

A young [[Cueball]] watches the tape and prevents his own death by "copying" the tape and uploading it to a video-sharing website, presumably {{w|YouTube}}. Cueball not only got one person to watch it, the requirement for escaping death, but 363,104 people, all of whom are most likely going to die in seven days. (For scale, the most-watched video at the time of the comic's publication had 78 million views.)

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ Rickrolling] is an Internet meme where someone is lured into clicking on a video link of {{w|Rick Astley}} singing "{{w|Never Gonna Give You Up}}." When someone is rickrolled, they usually get very upset. Cueball states in the comic that he uploaded the tape to get revenge on everyone who rickrolled him, though it was obvious that he would likely kill many more people than those who rickrolled him (or those who've rickrolled anyone else).

The title text refers to the file format used by the YouTube player. Historically, YouTube was famous for having extremely poor quality videos, because their Internet connections were slower and server storage space was expensive. So, all videos were {{w|transcode|transcoded}} into a very low quality {{w|FLV}} (flash video) format.

The girl shown in the video tape — a major part of The Ring series — is named Samara. Posting the tape on YouTube would result in heavily compressed videos in the FLV format. This, presumably, would reduce the quality of Samara's apparition. The title text also implies that nobody deserves that, although [http://tinyurl.com/qxmreql rickrolling] is (according to young Cueball) apparently punishable by death.

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail is speaking to young Cueball sitting in front of a TV with a black background and a white ring.]
:Ponytail: You watched the tape!?
:Cueball: Yeah, sorry.

:Ponytail: Now you'll die in seven days!
:Cueball: It's worse than that.

:[TV is cut from the frame.]
:Ponytail: ...You didn't.
:Cueball: Yup.

:[Both are now in front of a computer, Ponytail leaning in.]
:Ponytail: Great, it's got 363,104 views ''already''.
:Cueball: They kept Rickrolling me!
:Cueball: It was only fair.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Rickrolling]]

2878: Supernova

2024-01-08T20:37:47Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 2878
| date = January 8, 2024
| title = Supernova
| image = supernova_2x.png
| imagesize = 348x227px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = They're a little cagey about exactly where the crossover point lies relative to the likelihood of devastating effects on the planet.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by THE NEAREST STAR GOING SUPERNOVA (SPOILER ALERT: YES THE SUN) - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
{{w|Supernovae}} are catastrophic events in which a heavy star collapses when its original fuel runs out and it can no longer produce enough energy to fight its own gravity. The collapsing mass leads to a violent explosion, one of the most interesting events for astronomers to observe and one that can be used to glean information about the universe.

This comic shows a graph that displays, in general terms, how happy astronomers would be when they discover a new supernova based on how far away it is from Earth. The further away one is, the less detail can be learned from it, and thus the less happy astronomers are. But a supernova closer than, say, 100 light years might be ''too'' close. Its radiation could destroy life on Earth, or at least significantly harm the biosphere. Astronomers (and many others) would be really unhappy if that happened, as reflected by the sudden drop in happiness to far below the X axis on the graph for a supernova that is too close.

Many astronomers watch and study the stars in the night sky, even the ones that don't change appreciably over human timescales, but observing and recording such a huge event would be interesting for many reasons. Even if not directly involved in the science, humans can observe some supernovae with the naked eye, especially if they occur within {{w|Milky Way|our own galaxy}} and are clearly visible from Earth. A potential supernova in the news lately is {{w|Betelgeuse}}, a {{w|red giant}} star that is the left shoulder in the constellation Orion. About 430 light years from the Sun, it has been pulsating, dimming and brightening over exceedingly short time scales compared to the tens of millions of years such a big star is expected to burn. Though it could yet easily go several thousand years before it goes supernova, it could also already have exploded and we are only waiting for the light from the event to reach Earth. Betelgeuse should be far enough away from Earth that the inevitable explosion would be safe enough for life on Earth (although [https://www.skyatnightmagazine.com/space-science/earth-danger-betelgeuse-supernova some assessments] are not so sure), but it ''will'' outshine all other stars in the night sky, possibly competing with the Moon, and could even be visible during daytime. This would be a dream come true for many astronomers and something obvious to others interested in the night sky. In the first [[:Category:Stargazing | Stargazing]] comic, [[1644: Stargazing | 1644]], the wish that it goes supernova (in [[Randall|Randall's]] lifetime) is clearly expressed.

Since this ''should'' be safe for us, and since it would be a spectacle not seen for hundreds of years here on Earth, this would make the astronomers very happy, not just from all they could learn, but also from just from all the increased interest in gazing at the sky with the 'new' star (and then seeing what happens to it next).

A distance exists where the astronomers would be the most happy, with anything nearer than that being less good (or very bad). As more distant phenomena only decrease the positive effects (and certainly do not increase the bad ones), the graph beyond the maximum happiness appears to show an asymptotic approach to less and less positive influence on the mood of the astronomers. There are thought to be about three supernovae occuring per century within our own galaxy (most stars of which are far further away from Betelgeuse), and many other nearby and far more distant galaxies within which a supernova explosion can be detected. These remain are useful to see, and are often studied as intensively as possible, but have decreasing amounts of thrill to them and are harder to notice/record in the early stages of the explosion (or immediately before, to add even more understanding).

The title text expands upon the latter point of nearness, in that the astronomers themselves are not quite clear/unanimous about how close they would like a supernova to be. If it were close enough to destroy Earth or instantly kill of all life on Earth, they would presumably not be happy. But they might actually be willing to accept some trouble for Earth life if they get to the see a supernova comparatively close by. But the chance to witness even a {{what if|73|lethally-close}} supernova might still be an attractive proposition for some inquisitive minds. At least it is expected that they require time to realize they are seeing (or are about to see) a supernova before it kills them, to become ecstatically happy about it!

This is the second comic in a row that mentions exploding stars, after [[2877: Fever]], which like this comic is also a [[:Category:Charts|Charts comic]].

==Transcript==
:[A graph is shown where the axes are labeled and arrows are pointing upward above the Y axis label and to the right above the X axis label. There is a single line on the graph that peaks close to the Y axis, where it reaches close to the top of the drawn part of the Y axis. Then the line approaches the X axis asymptotically towards the far right. But closer to the Y axis, the peak line goes almost vertically down, and continues far below the "bottom of the chart", outside of the boundary of the graph that was only supposed to be above the X axis.]
:Y axis: How happy astronomers are
:X axis: How far away the new supernova is

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]

2866: Snow

2023-12-12T11:32:41Z

Planer28:

{{comic
| number = 2866
| date = December 11, 2023
| title = Snow
| image = snow_2x.png
| imagesize = 609x379px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = For someone who has ostensibly outgrown staying up late waiting for Santa, I do spend an awful lot of time refreshing websites to see if packages are here yet.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a APPARENTLY YOUNG SNOWFLAKE - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is about how snow can often be distracting to many people, which could be interpreted as being "childish" or less mature. As the graph shows, Randall's "apparent age" is still lower whenever snow is falling, though higher than when it begins.

At the top is shown a line graph with "time" on the x-axis (the independent variable) and "my apparent age" (the dependent variable) on the y-axis. The graph drops sharply near the middle, with a note that this is when snow first begins to fall. Below the graph, Cueball is working on a computer with a window behind him. When snow begins to fall outside the window, he, representing the behavior of many adults including Randall, immediately abandons his work to watch the snowfall, even commenting excitedly. Presumably, it is the first snowfall of the year that provokes this level of excitement. However, after that initial moment of excitement, Cueball returns back to his laptop to do whatever he was initially doing as shown in the first panel (whatever that may be).

An interesting observation with the graph is that while Cueball's "apparent age" begins to increase after the sudden decrease in the third panel, the "apparent age" appears to plateau below the point before "The moment it starts to snow". If the graph has indeed plateaued at this point, it implies a permanent decrease in maturity. If the same reduction were to occur annually, Cueball's "apparent age" would suffer a regression that never recovers, with regressive consequences for Cueball. However, although the time interval (x-axis) is not stated, as the drawings below appear to be aligned with the graph above, it can be inferred that the interval is short, on the order of minutes if not seconds. Assuming one "it's snowing!" age-depressing event per year, there would be ample time for tiny but progressive increases in "apparent age" to restore the previous plateau prior to the next year's event. Moreover, it's possible that spikes of increasing "apparent age" take place through the season, as excitement over snow events is replaced by disgust, thereby returning "apparent age" to its prior level episodically rather than progressively. For this possibility we have no data.

The title text refers to another common behavior of many adults- constantly refreshing tracking websites to see if a package has moved- and compares it to the idea of a child who believes in Santa and tries to stay up late enough to see him deliver presents.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Above the comic, there is a graph labeled "Time" on the X-axis and "My apparent age" on the Y-axis. The graph is flat until a large drop, labeled "The moment it starts to snow". After the drop, the line rises, but it doesn't reach as high as before.]
:[Under the graph, there are four comic panels. All show Cueball, a desk with a laptop, and a window. The panels line up with the graph's X-axis.]

:[Window without snow. Cueball at desk, apparently working.]

:[Window with several snowflakes. Cueball at desk, turning around to the window.]

:[Window with a lot of snow. Cueball jumps excitedly up from his chair, shouting.]
:Cueball: Hey! It's snowing! Outside! There's snow falling! Look! Snow! Hey!

:[Window with a lot of snow. Cueball at desk, apparently working.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Weather]]