explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

3063: Planet Definitions

2025-03-15T22:27:55Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3063
| date = March 14, 2025
| title = Planet Definitions
| image = planet_definitions_2x.png
| imagesize = 653x1435px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Under the 'has cleared its orbital neighborhood' and 'fuses hydrogen into helium' definitions, thanks to human activities Earth technically no longer qualifies as a planet but DOES count as a star.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|A table might be better to format the explanation.}}

This comic addresses the {{w|IAU definition of planet|controversy of whether of Pluto is a planet}} and explores many definitions, most of them humorous/nonsensical, of what a planet could be.

;Traditionalist: {{w|Pluto}} is a planet (9 planets)
:In modern times, there was {{w|IAU definition of planet#Background|no formal definition of a "planet"}} prior to 2006. However, it was generally accepted as a colloquialism that there were nine planets around the {{w|Sun}}, Pluto included, primarily starting with Pluto's discovery in 1930, based upon that time's scientific consensus that there ought to be another planet to account for peculiarities in the the orbits of the other outer planets. As more sophisticated methods of mapping the {{w|Solar System}} were developed and {{w|Eris (dwarf planet)|Eris}} was discovered to be even more massive than Pluto (which may not have been as significant as the theories that led to its discovery suggested) it became clear to astronomers that a more standardized definition was needed. In 2006 the International Astronomical Union (IAU) published their formal redefinition of a "planet" to require a planet to be gravitationally dominant within its orbit, disqualifying Pluto (and Eris) which is now considered a "dwarf planet". This has been subject to push back from countless people, including [https://arxiv.org/abs/2110.15285 some planetary scientists], but in mostly nostalgic laypeople dissatisfied with Pluto being "demoted" or otherwise relegated when schoolchildren and adults alike have 'known' that there are nine planets for the most part of the last century (and [[988: Tradition|tradition]] has previously been referred to as whatever was current during "Baby Boomers' childhoods").
:Ironically, some of the latest study of the outer solar-system includes the possibility of yet ''another'' {{w|Planet Nine}}, but only time will tell if such an object exists and whether it would cross the IAU's current threshold or even require the threshold itself to be reassessed once more.

;Modern: Pluto is not a planet (8 planets)
:When the IAU redefined what a planet is in 2006, Pluto no longer qualified as a planet (since it wasn't able to clear its neighborhood around its orbit). Using the modern, and recently official, definition of a planet, only eight celestial objects qualified.

;Expansive: Dwarf planets are planets (17+ planets)
:It is likely that since the term "dwarf planet" contained "planet" in its name, Randall considered those as also planets under this category.
:It is also likely that the number of planets includes the ones that are considered planets and the ones that are considered to have compacted into fully solid bodies, {{w|Dwarf planet#Most likely dwarf planets| as defined by Grundy ''et al.'',}} those being {{w|Ceres (dwarf planet)|Ceres}}, Pluto, Eris, {{w|Makemake}}, {{w|Haumea}}, {{w|Gonggong (dwarf planet)|Gonggong}}, {{w|Quaoar}}, {{w|Orcus (dwarf planet)|Orcus}} and {{w|Sedna (dwarf planet)|Sedna}}.
:The basis for this viewpoint is the possible alternative re-evaluation that the IAU could have adopted, in that all newly discovered things ''like'' Pluto (being considered a planet) should therefore be considered a planet. Indeed, Ceres had been observed some time before Pluto and had been called a planet (or a "minor planet") within both scientific and public realms.

;Ultratraditionalist: Only the classical planets are planets (5 planets)
:The {{w|classical planets}} are objects found and considered by the Greek astronomers in classical antiquity to be considered planets. Their definition of "planet" considered visible objects that move across the sky relative to the fixed stars, the original word itself being translated as "wanderer". There are seven classical planets, but if one were to only consider the ones that fall under the IAU's definition of a planet (this being ''less'' traditional), then there would only be five. (The Sun and the {{w|Moon}} would be disqualified.)
:Being (mostly) true to the spirit of the historic naming convention, this would be a conservative but 'valid' version of the criterion. Notably, Earth itself is not considered a planet by these criteria, as (from the prospective of anyone who might even consider such things), it was not even wandering the heavens, or in the night skies at all, but always underfoot.

;Condescending: Only giant planets are planets; the rest are big {{w|asteroid}}s (4 planets)
:This definition may refer to the {{w|giant planets}}, planets much larger than the {{w|Earth}}. Only the four outer (IAU-defined) planets fall under this definition.
:Relegation of anything smaller, including our own planet, is an extreme attitude, but most of the initial [[:Category:Exoplanets|exoplanets]] discovered were, by practical necessity in their detection, also only of the "giant planet" kind.

;Simplistic: Anything gravitationally round is a planet (37+ planets)
:Using the Wikipedia {{w|list of gravitationally rounded objects of the Solar System}}, there are 37 objects listed. That includes the Sun, 8 planets, 9 dwarf planets and 19 {{w|Natural satellite|moon}}s, but falls short of also highlighting all of the smallest visible objects (as per Universalist, below).
:This definition is essentially ''part'' of the actual current definition of a planet, leaving out the main factor that specifically disqualifies Pluto.

;Grounded: Only objects a spaceship has landed on are planets (10 planets)
:This list includes objects in the Solar System that a spacecraft has {{w|List of landings on extraterrestrial bodies|performed a soft landing on}}. The list includes {{w|Venus}}, Earth, {{w|Mars}}, the Moon, {{w|Titan (moon)|Titan}}, {{w|433 Eros|Eros}}, {{w|25143 Itokawa|Itokawa}}, {{w|162173 Ryugu|Ryugu}} and {{w|101955 Bennu|Bennu}}. Notably, {{w|comet}} {{w|Philae (Spacecraft)|landings}} are not included in the list.
:The justification for this seeks to be that we must 'touch' the object before we consider it as worthy of being classified as more than a mere blob (or dot) in space.

;Regolithic: Anything covered in dirt and ice and stuff is a planet (infinite)
:This list excludes the {{w|Gas Giant}}s and the {{w|Ice Giant}}s. The list would likely include dwarf planets, asteroids, moons and comets. This is effectively the opposite of the "condescending" definition: every object in the solar system is included in one definition or the other (except for the Sun).
:This is also an extension on the prior classification. In this case ''could'' we meaningfully touch the object, with predominatingly atmospheric bodies being not considered so.

;Lunar: You can't be a planet if you don't have a moon (12+ objects)
:Only some objects in the solar system have known and acknowledged moons orbiting them. The value given may be {{w|List of natural satellites|the number of planets and dwarf planets}} that have moons, when excluding {{w|Haumea}} for not reaching {{w|hydrostatic equilibrium}} despite having moons. The Sun is excluded because its satellites are not moons, because ... oh, look, a Squirrel!
:Adopting this definition would suggest that a planetary body is not worthy of the name if it doesn't (with no matter for what reason) demonstrably have the means to dominate its local area by being the overwhelming focus of all adjacent bodies' own orbits.

;Solipsistic: Earth is the only planet (1 planet)
:{{w|Solipsism}} is the idea that only one's own mind is sure to exist. Randall extrapolated this idea to mean that only one's own planet that they are standing on is sure to exist.
:This projects (and relies upon) a more philosophical and/or semiotic assesment than any scientific one.

;Judgemental: Only the prettiest ones are planets (6 planets)
:This list is likely formulated from Randall's own perception of the prettiest planets in the Solar System. Strangely, seven objects are highlighted:
:* Earth
:* Jupiter
:* One of Jupiter's moons (unclear)
:* Saturn
:* One of Saturn's moons (unclear, possibly Titan)
:* Neptune's moon (probably Triton)
:* Pluto
:The subjectivity of this version of the definition makes it unlikely that a consensus of this form could be established.

;Empiricist: Only worlds that I, author of this table, have personally seen are planets (12 planets)
:This list may refer to the celestial objects in the Solar System that have been made visible at night, probably using an optical telescope (a hobbyist one, perhaps Randall's, or from time borrowed on a major institutional installation). Jupiter's {{w|Galilean moons|four largest moons}} are [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112024151/http://denisdutton.com/jupiter_moons.htm technically visible to the naked eye] but hard to distinguish due to Jupiter's brightness, while Neptune is considered too faint to see (even if you know where to look). It may also be the case that Randall has never taken the time to look for Neptune while using a telescope. Apparently Randall has seen Uranus, which technically [https://www.skyatnightmagazine.com/advice/skills/how-see-uranus-in-night-sky ''is'' visible to the naked eye] under the very best viewing conditions, but these conditions are rare and it again requires knowing exactly where to look.
:The omission of the Sun from the list of worlds that Randall has personally seen is interesting. Yes, people are not supposed to stare at the Sun{{citation needed}}, but it is not too uncommon to accidentally look in its direction for a split-second before instinctively closing one's eyes and turning one's head away.
:As a different form of subjectivity, the value of this grouping's criteria is questionable, but not uncommon in other 'softer' sciences.

;Marine biologist: Only objects with oceans are planets (6+ planets)
:This list includes Earth, {{w|Europa (moon)|Europa}}, {{w|Ganymede (moon)|Ganymede}}, {{w|Callisto (moon)|Callisto}}, Titan, and {{w|Enceladus}}. Most of these have had the presence of significant water identified from the way local magnetic/electric fields are detected, but see the following item.
:There is a resemblance, here, to a loose understanding of what a "world" is, i.e. one that possesses various distinct 'terrains' beyond mere dry (and possibly considered featureless) rock. A marine biologist would, of course consider a marine (if not pellagic or bathyspheric) environment to be an essential element of any world.

;Maritime: Only objects with ''surface'' oceans are planets (2 planets)
:In the comic, only Earth and a Saturnian moon (likely to be Titan) are highlighted. Earth is the only body known in the solar system to have liquid water on the surface significant enough to be called an ocean. Titan's cold and dense atmosphere notably maintains surface 'seas' of methane and nitrogen, where other moons (given as additonal in the prior item) seem to have their liquid water beneath either whole-surface ice caps or otherwise deep under the surface.
:From the narrower point of view of a sailor, for example, there is no benefit in considering water hidden away far beneath the surface, and it might as well not be there. Whereas it's possible that a well-prepared mariner could eventually sail the strange seas of Titan, as easily (or easier) as an airman might {{w|Dragonfly (Titan space probe)|fly through its skies}}.

;Universalist: They're all planets (infinite)
:This list claims that all objects are planets, all drawn items (also presumably all undrawn/undrawable items) being marked as such, including the Sun.
:Giving up on any thought of exclusivity, this unconventional view willingly inducts all visible objects into consideration.

;Existentialist: What if {{w|outer space|space}} ''itself'' is a planet??? (Duude)
:This list is different from the list above as it claims that all of space, rather than only the objects existing in space, are planets. The interjection ''Duude'' expresses one's amazement at this 'revelation' and replaces the number count— and is sometimes stereotyped to imply the speaker is high on marijuana or other drugs popular with the 1960s hippie counterculture.
:The strange stretch of imagination, as prompted by some narcotic or other, abandons all pretense at sensibly sorting everything into "planet" or "not planet", as not only is everything a planet, but so is the nothing ''between'' these titular planets.

;Spiteful: ''Only'' Pluto is a planet (1 planet)
:This list is a malicious play on the demotion of Pluto by demoting all other planets except Pluto instead, leaving Pluto as the only planet in the solar system.
:This is the taxonomic equivalent of refusing to play and taking your ball home to spite those who you think don't deserve it.

;(title text) {{w|Star}}: Earth is a star (2 stars)
:In May 1934, Mark Oliphant, Paul Harteck and Ernest Rutherford at the Cavendish Laboratory, published an intentional deuterium fusion experiment, and made the discovery of both tritium and helium-3. This is widely considered the first experimental demonstration of fusion. Randall considers that this makes Earth fall into the category of a star due to the human-induced ability for Earth to fuse hydrogen into helium using nuclear fusion.
:One definition of a planet requires that the planet has cleared its "orbital neighborhood" of other objects - objects must either be captured as a moon, or have their orbits disrupted such that they are flung away. Under this definition, one could humorously argue that recent human activities, releasing new objects into orbit like the James Webb Space Telescope, technically disqualify Earth from being a planet, as the orbital neighborhood is no longer completely clear.

:By changing not only the definition, but the term being defined, this drifts yet further from any consensus view on the original question and into a typical punchline absurdity.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[A table with 3 columns, and 17 rows below the the header row, labelled "Definition", "# of planets" and "Solar system".]
:[In each row, the first column has a single word, in bold, then a descriptive sentence. The second column has a digit or other 'value'. The third column is a not-to-scale drawing of the Solar system, featuring the Sun, various 'planetary' bodies and an apparently selective sample of moons/asteroids, as follows: The Sun, Mercury, Venus, Earth + The Moon, Mars + two moons (Phobos and Deimos), a small selection of Asteroid Belt bodies (Ceres in the midst of other, smaller, examples), Jupiter + four moons (likely Io, Europa, Ganymede and Callisto), a ringed Saturn + usually one moon (probably Titan) or two (possibly Enceladus or Iapetus, as required), Uranus + four or five moons (likely to be Miranda, Ariel, Umbriel, Titania and Oberon, but one of these (shown upon the face of Uranus) only appears in some iterations of the base image), Neptune + one moon (probably Triton), Pluto + one moon (Charon), four more plutoid/Kuiper Belt objeccts (too little context to identify, but possibly Haumea, Makemake, Gonggong and Eris, in distance order), the first two of them with distinct moons indicated (entirely dependent upon which main objects they are).]
:[Each row's illustrated solar system has indivudal combinations of green highlights applied to the otherwise repeated diagram.]
:[Row 1: Definition:] Traditionalist: Pluto is a planet [Number:] 9 [Highlit: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto]
:[Row 2: Definition:] Modern: Pluto is not a planet [Number:] 8 [Highlit: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune]
:[Row 3: Definition:] Expansive: Dwarf planets are planets [Number:] 17+ [Highlit: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Ceres (in Asteroid Belt), Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto and the further main bodies]
:[Row 4: Definition:] Ultratraditionalist: Only the classical planets are planets [Number:] 5 [Highlit: Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn]
:[Row 5: Definition:] Condescending: Only giant planets are planets; the rest are big asteroids. [Number:] 4 [Highlit: Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune]
:[Row 6: Definition:] Simplistic: Anything gravitationally round is a planet [Number:] 37+ [Highlit: The Sun, Mercury, Venus, Earth, The Moon, Mars, Ceres (without other asteroids), Jupiter + moons, Saturn with Titan, Uranus and its moons, Neptune with its moon, Pluto and the four further dwarf planets]
:[Row 7: Definition:] Grounded: Only objects a spaceship has landed on are planets [Number:] 10 [Highlit: Venus, Earth, The Moon, Mars, five (non-Ceriese) asteroids and Titan]
:[Row 8: Definition:] Regolithic: Anything covered in dirt and ice and stuff is a planet [Number:] [infinity symbol] [Highlit: Mercury, Venus, Earth, The Moon, Mars, Ceres with all other asteroids depicted in the Asteroid Belt, the moons of Jupiter, the sole moon! of Saturn, the moons of Uranus, the moon of Neptune, Pluto with Charon, and all remaining dwarf planets with their moons]
:[Row 9: Definition:] Lunar: You can't be a planet if you don't have a moon [Number:] 12+ [Highlit: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto and three of the other dwarf planets in the Kuiper belt, including one with no obviously drawn moon]
:[Row 10: Definition:] Solipsitic: Earth is the only planet [Number:] 1 [Highlit: The Earth]
:[Row 11: Definition:] Judgemental: Only the prettiest ones are planets [Number:] 6 [Highlit: The Earth, Jupiter with one of its moons (not identified), Saturn, one of ''two'' Saturnian moons in this image and Pluto]
:[Row 12: Definition:] Empiricist: Only worlds that I, author of this table, have personally seen are planets [Number:] 12 [Highlit: Mercury, Venus, The Earth, The Moon, Mars, Jupiter with its four moons, Saturn and Uranus]
:[Row 13: Definition:] Marine biologist: Only objects with oceans are planets [Number:] 6+ [Highlit: The Earth, three Jovian moons, the two illustrated Saturnian moons]
:[Row 14: Definition:] Maritime: Only objects with [next word in italics] surface oceans are planets [Number:] 2 [Highlit: The Earth and Titan]
:[Row 15: Definition:] Universalist: They're all planets [Number:] [infinity symbol] [Highlit: All drawn objects, including The Sun and all other objects including all the moons/asteroids]
:[Row 16: Definition:] Existantialist: What if space [next word in italics] itself is a planet??? [Word, in italics:] Duude [Highlit: The whole third column cell]
:[Row 17: Definition:] Spiteful: [next word in italics] Only Pluto is a planet [Number:] 1 [Highlit: Pluto]

==Trivia==
*In the [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/archive/6/66/20250314195557%21planet_definitions_2x.png original version of the comic], there were two errors that would later be fixed. The "Traditionalist" definition highlighted Neptune's satellite {{w|Triton (moon)|Triton}} instead of Pluto. The images of the Solar System for the "Traditionalist" and "Modern" definitions were swapped, resulting in Pluto being incorrectly highlighted in "Modern" and omitted in "Traditionalist.

*The "Judgemental" definition has seven colored objects instead of the labelled six. This mistake has never been fixed.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]
[[Category:Comics edited after their publication]]

3063: Planet Definitions

2025-03-15T22:25:03Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */ Corrected 'lead' to 'led'

{{comic
| number = 3063
| date = March 14, 2025
| title = Planet Definitions
| image = planet_definitions_2x.png
| imagesize = 653x1435px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Under the 'has cleared its orbital neighborhood' and 'fuses hydrogen into helium' definitions, thanks to human activities Earth technically no longer qualifies as a planet but DOES count as a star.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|A table might be better to format the explanation.}}

This comic addresses the {{w|IAU definition of planet|controversy of whether of Pluto is a planet}} and explores many definitions, most of them humorous/nonsensical, of what a planet could be.

;Traditionalist: {{w|Pluto}} is a planet (9 planets)
:In modern times, there was {{w|IAU definition of planet#Background|no formal definition of a "planet"}} prior to 2006. However, it was generally accepted as a colloquialism that there were nine planets around the {{w|Sun}}, Pluto included, primarily starting with Pluto's discovery in 1930, based upon that time's scientific consensus that there ought to be another planet to account for peculiarities in the the orbits of the other outer planets. As more sophisticated methods of mapping the {{w|Solar System}} were developed and {{w|Eris (dwarf planet)|Eris}} was discovered to be even more massive than Pluto (which may not have been as significant as the theories that led to its discovery suggested) it became clear to astronomers that a more standardized definition was needed. In 2006 the International Astronomical Union (IAU) published their formal redefinition of a "planet" to require a planet to be gravitationally dominant within its orbit, disqualifying Pluto (and Eris) which is now considered a "dwarf planet." This has been subject to push back from countless people, including [https://arxiv.org/abs/2110.15285 some planetary scientists], but in mostly nostalgic laypeople dissatisfied with Pluto being "demoted" or otherwise relegated when schoolchildren and adults alike have 'known' that there are nine planets for the most part of the last century (and [[988: Tradition|tradition]] has previously been refered to as whatever was current during "Baby Boomers' childhoods").
:Ironically, some of the latest study of the outer solar-system includes the possibility of yet ''another'' {{w|Planet Nine}}, but only time will tell if such an object exists and whether it would cross the IAU's current threshold or even require the threshold itself to be reassessed once more.

;Modern: Pluto is not a planet (8 planets)
:When the IAU redefined what a planet is in 2006, Pluto no longer qualifies as a planet (since it wasn't able to clear its neighborhood around its orbit). Using the modern, and recently official, definition of a planet, only eight celestial objects qualified.

;Expansive: Dwarf planets are planets (17+ planets)
:It is likely that since the term "dwarf planet" contained "planet" in its name, Randall considered those as also planets under this category.
:It is also likely that the number of planets includes the ones that are considered planets and the ones that are considered to have compacted into fully solid bodies, {{w|Dwarf planet#Most likely dwarf planets| as defined by Grundy ''et al.'',}} those being {{w|Ceres (dwarf planet)|Ceres}}, Pluto, Eris, {{w|Makemake}}, {{w|Haumea}}, {{w|Gonggong (dwarf planet)|Gonggong}}, {{w|Quaoar}}, {{w|Orcus (dwarf planet)|Orcus}} and {{w|Sedna (dwarf planet)|Sedna}}.
:The basis for this viewpoint is the possible alternative re-evaluation that the IAU could have adopted, in that all newly discovered things ''like'' Pluto (being considered a planet) should therefore be considered a planet. Indeed, Ceres had been observed some time before Pluto and had been called a planet (or a "minor planet") within both scientific and public realms.

;Ultratraditionalist: Only the classical planets are planets (5 planets)
:The {{w|classical planets}} are objects found and considered by the Greek astronomers in classical antiquity to be considered planets. Their definition of "planet" considered visible objects that move across the sky relative to the fixed stars, the original word itself being translated as "wanderer". There are seven classical planets, but if one were to only consider the ones that fall under the IAU's definition of a planet (this being ''less'' traditional), then there would only be five. (The Sun and the {{w|Moon}} would be disqualified.)
:Being (mostly) true to the spirit of the historic naming convention, this would be a conservative but 'valid' version of the criterion. Notably, Earth itself is not considered a planet by these criteria, as (from the prospective of anyone who might even consider such things), it was not even wandering the heavens, or in the night skies at all, but always underfoot.

;Condescending: Only giant planets are planets; the rest are big {{w|asteroid}}s (4 planets)
:This definition may refer to the {{w|giant planets}}, planets much larger than the {{w|Earth}}. Only the four outer (IAU-defined) planets fall under this definition.
:Relegation of anything smaller, including our own planet, is an extreme attitude, but most of the initial [[:Category:Exoplanets|exoplanets]] discovered were, by practical necessity in their detection, also only of the "giant planet" kind.

;Simplistic: Anything gravitationally round is a planet (37+ planets)
:Using the Wikipedia {{w|list of gravitationally rounded objects of the Solar System}}, there are 37 objects listed. That includes the Sun, 8 planets, 9 dwarf planets and 19 {{w|Natural satellite|moon}}s, but falls short of also highlighting all of the smallest visible objects (as per Universalist, below).
:This definition is essentially ''part'' of the actual current definition of a planet, leaving out the main factor that specifically disqualifies Pluto.

;Grounded: Only objects a spaceship has landed on are planets (10 planets)
:This list includes objects in the Solar System that a spacecraft has {{w|List of landings on extraterrestrial bodies|performed a soft landing on}}. The list includes {{w|Venus}}, Earth, {{w|Mars}}, the Moon, {{w|Titan (moon)|Titan}}, {{w|433 Eros|Eros}}, {{w|25143 Itokawa|Itokawa}}, {{w|162173 Ryugu|Ryugu}} and {{w|101955 Bennu|Bennu}}. Notably, {{w|comet}} {{w|Philae (Spacecraft)|landings}} are not included in the list.
:The justification for this seeks to be that we must 'touch' the object before we consider it as worthy of being classified as more than a mere blob (or dot) in space.

;Regolithic: Anything covered in dirt and ice and stuff is a planet (infinite)
:This list excludes the {{w|Gas Giant}}s and the {{w|Ice Giant}}s. The list would likely include dwarf planets, asteroids, moons and comets. This is effectively the opposite of the "condescending" definition: every object in the solar system is included in one definition or the other (except for the Sun).
:This is also an extension on the prior classification. In this case ''could'' we meaningfully touch the object, with predominatingly atmospheric bodies being not considered so.

;Lunar: You can't be a planet if you don't have a moon (12+ objects)
:Only some objects in the solar system have known and acknowledged moons orbiting them. The value given may be {{w|List of natural satellites|the number of planets and dwarf planets}} that have moons, when excluding {{w|Haumea}} for not reaching {{w|hydrostatic equilibrium}} despite having moons. The Sun is excluded because its satellites are not moons, because ... oh, look, a Squirrel!
:Adopting this definition would suggest that a planetary body is not worthy of the name if it doesn't (with no matter for what reason) demonstrably have the means to dominate its local area by being the overwhelming focus of all adjacent bodies' own orbits.

;Solipsistic: Earth is the only planet (1 planet)
:{{w|Solipsism}} is the idea that only one's own mind is sure to exist. Randall extrapolated this idea to mean that only one's own planet that they are standing on is sure to exist.
:This projects (and relies upon) a more philosophical and/or semiotic assesment than any scientific one.

;Judgemental: Only the prettiest ones are planets (6 planets)
:This list is likely formulated from Randall's own perception of the prettiest planets in the Solar System. Strangely, seven objects are highlighted:
:* Earth
:* Jupiter
:* One of Jupiter's moons (unclear)
:* Saturn
:* One of Saturn's moons (unclear, possibly Titan)
:* Neptune's moon (probably Triton)
:* Pluto
:The subjectivity of this version of the definition makes it unlikely that a consensus of this form could be established.

;Empiricist: Only worlds that I, author of this table, have personally seen are planets (12 planets)
:This list may refer to the celestial objects in the Solar System that have been made visible at night, probably using an optical telescope (a hobbyist one, perhaps Randall's, or from time borrowed on a major institutional installation). Jupiter's {{w|Galilean moons|four largest moons}} are [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112024151/http://denisdutton.com/jupiter_moons.htm technically visible to the naked eye] but hard to distinguish due to Jupiter's brightness, while Neptune is considered too faint to see (even if you know where to look). It may also be the case that Randall has never taken the time to look for Neptune while using a telescope. Apparently Randall has seen Uranus, which technically [https://www.skyatnightmagazine.com/advice/skills/how-see-uranus-in-night-sky ''is'' visible to the naked eye] under the very best viewing conditions, but these conditions are rare and it again requires knowing exactly where to look.
:The omission of the Sun from the list of worlds that Randall has personally seen is interesting. Yes, people are not supposed to stare at the Sun{{citation needed}}, but it is not too uncommon to accidentally look in its direction for a split-second before instinctively closing one's eyes and turning one's head away.
:As a different form of subjectivity, the value of this grouping's criteria is questionable, but not uncommon in other 'softer' sciences.

;Marine biologist: Only objects with oceans are planets (6+ planets)
:This list includes Earth, {{w|Europa (moon)|Europa}}, {{w|Ganymede (moon)|Ganymede}}, {{w|Callisto (moon)|Callisto}}, Titan, and {{w|Enceladus}}. Most of these have had the presence of significant water identified from the way local magnetic/electric fields are detected, but see the following item.
:There is a resemblance, here, to a loose understanding of what a "world" is, i.e. one that possesses various distinct 'terrains' beyond mere dry (and possibly considered featureless) rock. A marine biologist would, of course consider a marine (if not pellagic or bathyspheric) environment to be an essential element of any world.

;Maritime: Only objects with ''surface'' oceans are planets (2 planets)
:In the comic, only Earth and a Saturnian moon (likely to be Titan) are highlighted. Earth is the only body known in the solar system to have liquid water on the surface significant enough to be called an ocean. Titan's cold and dense atmosphere notably maintains surface 'seas' of methane and nitrogen, where other moons (given as additonal in the prior item) seem to have their liquid water beneath either whole-surface ice caps or otherwise deep under the surface.
:From the narrower point of view of a sailor, for example, there is no benefit in considering water hidden away far beneath the surface, and it might as well not be there. Whereas it's possible that a well-prepared mariner could eventually sail the strange seas of Titan, as easily (or easier) as an airman might {{w|Dragonfly (Titan space probe)|fly through its skies}}.

;Universalist: They're all planets (infinite)
:This list claims that all objects are planets, all drawn items (also presumably all undrawn/undrawable items) being marked as such, including the Sun.
:Giving up on any thought of exclusivity, this unconventional view willingly inducts all visible objects into consideration.

;Existentialist: What if {{w|outer space|space}} ''itself'' is a planet??? (Duude)
:This list is different from the list above as it claims that all of space, rather than only the objects existing in space, are planets. The interjection ''Duude'' expresses one's amazement at this 'revelation' and replaces the number count— and is sometimes stereotyped to imply the speaker is high on marijuana or other drugs popular with the 1960s hippie counterculture.
:The strange stretch of imagination, as prompted by some narcotic or other, abandons all pretense at sensibly sorting everything into "planet" or "not planet", as not only is everything a planet, but so is the nothing ''between'' these titular planets.

;Spiteful: ''Only'' Pluto is a planet (1 planet)
:This list is a malicious play on the demotion of Pluto by demoting all other planets except Pluto instead, leaving Pluto as the only planet in the solar system.
:This is the taxonomic equivalent of refusing to play and taking your ball home to spite those who you think don't deserve it.

;(title text) {{w|Star}}: Earth is a star (2 stars)
:In May 1934, Mark Oliphant, Paul Harteck and Ernest Rutherford at the Cavendish Laboratory, published an intentional deuterium fusion experiment, and made the discovery of both tritium and helium-3. This is widely considered the first experimental demonstration of fusion. Randall considers that this makes Earth fall into the category of a star due to the human-induced ability for Earth to fuse hydrogen into helium using nuclear fusion.
:One definition of a planet requires that the planet has cleared its "orbital neighborhood" of other objects - objects must either be captured as a moon, or have their orbits disrupted such that they are flung away. Under this definition, one could humorously argue that recent human activities, releasing new objects into orbit like the James Webb Space Telescope, technically disqualify Earth from being a planet, as the orbital neighborhood is no longer completely clear.

:By changing not only the definition, but the term being defined, this drifts yet further from any consensus view on the original question and into a typical punchline absurdity.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[A table with 3 columns, and 17 rows below the the header row, labelled "Definition", "# of planets" and "Solar system".]
:[In each row, the first column has a single word, in bold, then a descriptive sentence. The second column has a digit or other 'value'. The third column is a not-to-scale drawing of the Solar system, featuring the Sun, various 'planetary' bodies and an apparently selective sample of moons/asteroids, as follows: The Sun, Mercury, Venus, Earth + The Moon, Mars + two moons (Phobos and Deimos), a small selection of Asteroid Belt bodies (Ceres in the midst of other, smaller, examples), Jupiter + four moons (likely Io, Europa, Ganymede and Callisto), a ringed Saturn + usually one moon (probably Titan) or two (possibly Enceladus or Iapetus, as required), Uranus + four or five moons (likely to be Miranda, Ariel, Umbriel, Titania and Oberon, but one of these (shown upon the face of Uranus) only appears in some iterations of the base image), Neptune + one moon (probably Triton), Pluto + one moon (Charon), four more plutoid/Kuiper Belt objeccts (too little context to identify, but possibly Haumea, Makemake, Gonggong and Eris, in distance order), the first two of them with distinct moons indicated (entirely dependent upon which main objects they are).]
:[Each row's illustrated solar system has indivudal combinations of green highlights applied to the otherwise repeated diagram.]
:[Row 1: Definition:] Traditionalist: Pluto is a planet [Number:] 9 [Highlit: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto]
:[Row 2: Definition:] Modern: Pluto is not a planet [Number:] 8 [Highlit: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune]
:[Row 3: Definition:] Expansive: Dwarf planets are planets [Number:] 17+ [Highlit: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Ceres (in Asteroid Belt), Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto and the further main bodies]
:[Row 4: Definition:] Ultratraditionalist: Only the classical planets are planets [Number:] 5 [Highlit: Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn]
:[Row 5: Definition:] Condescending: Only giant planets are planets; the rest are big asteroids. [Number:] 4 [Highlit: Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune]
:[Row 6: Definition:] Simplistic: Anything gravitationally round is a planet [Number:] 37+ [Highlit: The Sun, Mercury, Venus, Earth, The Moon, Mars, Ceres (without other asteroids), Jupiter + moons, Saturn with Titan, Uranus and its moons, Neptune with its moon, Pluto and the four further dwarf planets]
:[Row 7: Definition:] Grounded: Only objects a spaceship has landed on are planets [Number:] 10 [Highlit: Venus, Earth, The Moon, Mars, five (non-Ceriese) asteroids and Titan]
:[Row 8: Definition:] Regolithic: Anything covered in dirt and ice and stuff is a planet [Number:] [infinity symbol] [Highlit: Mercury, Venus, Earth, The Moon, Mars, Ceres with all other asteroids depicted in the Asteroid Belt, the moons of Jupiter, the sole moon! of Saturn, the moons of Uranus, the moon of Neptune, Pluto with Charon, and all remaining dwarf planets with their moons]
:[Row 9: Definition:] Lunar: You can't be a planet if you don't have a moon [Number:] 12+ [Highlit: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto and three of the other dwarf planets in the Kuiper belt, including one with no obviously drawn moon]
:[Row 10: Definition:] Solipsitic: Earth is the only planet [Number:] 1 [Highlit: The Earth]
:[Row 11: Definition:] Judgemental: Only the prettiest ones are planets [Number:] 6 [Highlit: The Earth, Jupiter with one of its moons (not identified), Saturn, one of ''two'' Saturnian moons in this image and Pluto]
:[Row 12: Definition:] Empiricist: Only worlds that I, author of this table, have personally seen are planets [Number:] 12 [Highlit: Mercury, Venus, The Earth, The Moon, Mars, Jupiter with its four moons, Saturn and Uranus]
:[Row 13: Definition:] Marine biologist: Only objects with oceans are planets [Number:] 6+ [Highlit: The Earth, three Jovian moons, the two illustrated Saturnian moons]
:[Row 14: Definition:] Maritime: Only objects with [next word in italics] surface oceans are planets [Number:] 2 [Highlit: The Earth and Titan]
:[Row 15: Definition:] Universalist: They're all planets [Number:] [infinity symbol] [Highlit: All drawn objects, including The Sun and all other objects including all the moons/asteroids]
:[Row 16: Definition:] Existantialist: What if space [next word in italics] itself is a planet??? [Word, in italics:] Duude [Highlit: The whole third column cell]
:[Row 17: Definition:] Spiteful: [next word in italics] Only Pluto is a planet [Number:] 1 [Highlit: Pluto]

==Trivia==
*In the [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/archive/6/66/20250314195557%21planet_definitions_2x.png original version of the comic], there were two errors that would later be fixed. The "Traditionalist" definition highlighted Neptune's satellite {{w|Triton (moon)|Triton}} instead of Pluto. The images of the Solar System for the "Traditionalist" and "Modern" definitions were swapped, resulting in Pluto being incorrectly highlighted in "Modern" and omitted in "Traditionalist.

*The "Judgemental" definition has seven colored objects instead of the labelled six. This mistake has never been fixed.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]
[[Category:Comics edited after their publication]]

1140: Calendar of Meaningful Dates

2025-01-13T20:11:28Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */ Spelling...

{{comic
| number = 1140
| date = November 28, 2012
| title = Calendar of Meaningful Dates
| image = calendar of meaningful dates.png
| titletext = In months other than September, the 11th is mentioned substantially less often than any other date. It's been that way since long before 9/11 and I have no idea why.
}}

==Explanation==
The calendar used in the comic is the standard {{w|Gregorian calendar}} of 2012 used by most of Western Civilization. The comic looks at the frequencies of which dates appear in English writings indexed in the {{w|Google Books Library Project}}, by using the {{w|Google Ngram Viewer}} ([http://books.google.com/ngrams link]).

Some dates are more (or less) frequently mentioned because they have a special significance. Other dates have correlations for which there doesn't appear to be any obvious reasons. September 11th has also been the date of two significant battles in the War of 1812 (long before it gained notoriety from the 2001 terrorist attacks), particularly one where the British landed in George Washington's own plantation, which likely bolstered its search volume. Yet the significance of the globally significant terrorism incident probably accounts for most of the occurrences, since that time.

The date mentioned in the sub-heading (October 17th) is Randall's birthday.

The title text mystery is explained [http://drhagen.com/blog/the-missing-11th-of-the-month/ here]. In summary, many occurrences of "11th" in the writings were actually misread by the Google Books Library Project's [[wikipedia:optical character recognition|optical character recognition]] software and/or [[wikipedia:reCAPTCHA|reCAPTCHA]] users, becoming one of these: <code>IIth</code>, <code>Ilth</code>, <code>iith</code>, <code>lith</code>, <code>llth</code>, <code>1lth</code>, <code>1ith</code>, <code>l1th</code>, <code>nth</code>.

===Date Significance===
The first of each month is generally more mentioned than others, perhaps because such dates are markers of a new month and may be used as landmark dates or deadlines. Similarly, the final day of each month is commonly a deadline day. Other dates have a less mundane significance, for example:
*January 1 is {{w|New Year's Day|New Year's Day}}.
*February 14 is {{w|Valentine's Day}}.
*February 29 only exists during {{w|Leap year|leap years}}.
*March 15 is the {{w|Ides of March}}.
*March 21 is considered the first day of {{w|Spring (season)|spring}}, by a common convention in the northern hemisphere.
*April 1 is {{w|April Fools' Day}}.
*April 15 is {{w|Tax Day|US Individual Income Tax return filing day}}.
*May 1 is {{w|International Workers' Day|International Workers' Day}}, or {{w|May Day|May Day}}.
*June 4 is the {{w|June Fourth Incident}} of the 1989 Tiananmen Square protests.
*June 30 is the end of the {{w|Fiscal Year| fiscal year}} for most American states and local governments.
*July 1 is {{w|Canada Day}}.
*July 4 is {{w|Independence Day (United States)|US Independence Day}}.
*September 11 is the date of the {{w|September 11 attacks|2001 terrorist attacks}} in New York City and Washington, DC. It's the largest number by a big margin, most likely because unlike the other dates it has no special name, it's referred to as "9/11" (or "September 11") almost exclusively.
*December 7 is the date of the {{w|Attack on Pearl Harbor|1941 attack on Pearl Harbor}}.
*December 25 is {{w|Christmas|Christmas}}.
*December 31 is {{w|New Year's Eve|New Year's Eve}}.

==Transcript==
:'''Calendar of Meaningful Dates'''
:Each date's size represents how often it is referred to by name (e.g. "October 17th") in English-language books since 2000
:(Source: Google ngrams corpus)
:[A regular Gregorian calendar laid out in a grid, Sunday first, on a leap year, with some numbers larger or smaller than others. Significant outliers are mentioned in the explanation.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category: Calendar]]
[[Category:Google]]

1125: Objects In Mirror

2025-01-10T05:46:42Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1125
| date = October 24, 2012
| title = Objects In Mirror
| image = objects_in_mirror.png
| titletext = Universes in mirror, like those in windshield, are larger than they appear.
}}

==Explanation==
"Objects in mirror are closer than they appear" is a required, although marginally ridiculous, "safety warning" required to be engraved on passenger side mirrors of motor vehicles in the USA, Canada and Korea. These mirrors in these countries are typically the only ones that are slightly convex, making objects appear smaller (and farther away) than their true size. Other countries often have convexity in driver-side and passenger-side rearview mirrors to give a larger field of view, at the cost of natural distance proportions of the mirror image, without making any statements about it on the mirror itself using engravings.

This comic is a reference to the phenomenon known as {{w|redshift}}/{{w|blueshift}}. Due to the {{w|Doppler effect}}, objects that are moving toward an observer appear bluer than they actually are (known as blueshift). Objects moving away from the observer (e.g. objects viewed in the rear-view mirror of a moving vehicle) appear redder than they actually are (known as redshift), and thus the objects are in reality bluer than they appear. This is generally relevant only in terms of high speed motion such as observation of the expansion of the universe in astrophysics. The joke is that the relative speed of any object visible in a side-view mirror would create an insignificant and unobservable redshift.

Another possible explanation is that the redshift refers to the actual reflection itself. As photons are reflected in a mirror, momentum is transferred and thereby they lose a very small amount of energy. This loss of energy results in a slight redshift of the light. (This effect is similar to {{w|compton scattering}}.)

Edwin Hubble was an astronomer credited ({{w|Stigler's law of eponymy|amid some controversy}}) with "{{w|Hubble's Law}}," which states that a Doppler shift can be observed for objects in deep space moving with relative velocity to Earth and that their velocity is proportional to their distance from Earth. Probably the most famous application of the law was measurement of relative velocities of galaxies, such as those seen in the picture known as {{w|Hubble Deep Field}}, taken by the {{w|Hubble Space Telescope}}. The results proved that most galaxies keep getting farther apart as a result of expansion of the universe. This is one of many pieces of evidence supporting the {{w|Big Bang}} theory.

The title text references that we see the universe as it was in the past (due to the distances involved and the speed of light), when it was smaller than it is today. It may also be a reference to comic [[1110: Click and Drag]].

== Transcript ==
:[View of a car mirror and outside view of landscape, with clouds and mountains. The mirror reads "Objects in mirror are bluer than they appear."]
:[Caption below the panel:]
:Edwin Hubble's car

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Cosmology]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

1118: Microsoft

2025-01-09T22:25:07Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1118
| date = October 8, 2012
| title = Microsoft
| image = microsoft.png
| titletext = Facebook, Apple, and Google all got away with their monopolist power grabs because they don't have any 'S's in their names for critics to snarkily replace with '$'s.
}}

==Explanation==
In the late 1990s {{w|Microsoft}} started bundling its web browser, {{w|Internet Explorer}}, with its {{w|Windows}} operating system. This effectively destroyed the {{w|Netscape}} company, who up until then had the most market share with its browser, {{w|Netscape Navigator}}. Microsoft was involved in {{w|United States v. Microsoft|a legal case}} against the U.S. government, which required Microsoft to allow IE to be uninstalled among other remedies. {{w|Removal of Internet Explorer|Removal of Internet Explorer}} has no clear solution as libraries and utilities associated with Internet Explorer are used across other Windows applications.

The comic sarcastically states that this stopped companies from creating a monopoly on software practices. Unfortunately, platform developers such as Apple, Sony, and Microsoft have restricted third-party software distribution over the internet via their own [https://www.apple.com/iphone/from-the-app-store/ curated] [https://store.sonyentertainmentnetwork.com/ online] [https://marketplace.xbox.com/en-US/ stores] in recent years, and will come full circle with the introduction of Metro Applications on the Windows 8. The comic also mocks the triviality of {{w|Browser wars|browser debates}} compared to current antitrust cases concerning [https://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/01/12/googles-new-search-results-raise-privacy-and-antitrust-concerns/ privacy] and [https://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-04-11/u-s-files-antitrust-lawsuit-against-apple-hachette.html price fixing].

{{w|Apple}} bundled a browser on both its desktop and mobile platforms. Apple also requires all iOS developers to sell their apps only through the Apple App Store, paying sizeable commissions to Apple, and Apple can refuse to sell any app. In some instances, Apple has developed its own versions of popular third-party apps. [https://www.codinghorror.com/blog/2011/10/serving-at-the-pleasure-of-the-king.html]

On {{w|Android}}, {{w|Google}} bundles in a mobile version of {{w|Google Chrome|Chrome web browser}} (as of version 4.0 ''Ice Cream Sandwich''), but you are allowed to change the default browser. The company has a majority market share in web search engines, being the most popular search engine available. On {{w|Facebook}}, users face difficulties in accessing or removing their profiles and personal information, among {{w|Criticism of Facebook|other issues}}. Recently, this has been mitigated by the ability to [https://techcrunch.com/2010/10/06/facebook-now-allows-you-to-download-your-information/ download a zip file] of all content ever posted to Facebook, but it [https://www.zdnet.com/blog/london/facebook-still-doesnt-delete-your-photos-three-years-later/2936 still remains difficult] to delete data from Facebook.

Apple has been widely criticized for trying to force all users of Mac OS or iOS to run only content approved by Apple and distributed through the Apple App Store, each sale from which gives royalty payments to Apple.

The title text refers to mocking Microsoft as Micro$oft or M$ for attempting to take too much money from consumers, and jokingly suggests that the inability to easily do this with other companies' names (Fa¢ebook? Appl€? Goog£e?) is how they succeeded at amassing power where Micro$oft failed.

==Transcript==
:Megan: Remember when we prosecuted Microsoft for bundling a browser with an OS? Imagine the future we'd live in if we'd been willing to let one tech company amass that much power.
:Ponytail: Thank God we nipped ''that'' in the bud.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Google]]

1079: United Shapes

2025-01-06T03:10:35Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1079
| date = July 9, 2012
| title = United Shapes
| image = united_shapes.png
| imagesize = 800px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = That eggplant is in something of a flaccid state.
}}
A large version is [http://xkcd.com/1079/large/ here].
==Explanation==
In this comic, each state of the United States of America has been filled-in with an object of similar shape. Several years later Randall made a new map of the US mainland [[1653: United States Map]], where he shuffled the positions of the states but filled out the outline. Also in this map Michigan has been split into two separate parts. (Here it is the mitten and the eagle). This comic could also be a reference to {{w|Giuseppe Arcimboldo}}'s portraits, which were composed of objects such as fruits, vegetables, flowers, books, and fish.

Very few, if any, of the shapes used are stereotypes of the state; they are merely objects that look like the state. Some of the objects are those which the states are widely known to resemble. For example, Michigan is represented by a mitten and an eagle, and a pot with handle takes the place of Oklahoma (with the panhandle region of the state filled with a literal handle). Others, however, are more creative. Few would have likely pictured Texas as a dog or Alaska as a bear with a jet pack and laser gun. There are several incredibly simple objects filling some states. Kentucky is filled by a cloud, which conceivably could have been used for any state, and Wyoming, one of the nearly rectangular states, is simply an envelope. There are three pairs of states that are related. Georgia and Missouri each contain an image of the other, drawing attention to their similar shapes, North and South Dakota are the top and bottom halves of a {{w|guitar amplifier}} {{w|speaker cabinet}}, and Alabama and Mississippi are {{w|moai}} facing in opposite directions.

Colorado contains what looks like a Wikipedia article. [http://xkcd.com/1079/colorado/ A close-up of the fake article is provided.] The following references are made in the Colorado article:

*The pronunciation is not that for Colorado, but for {{w|Eyjafjallajökull}}, a volcano in Iceland that erupted in April 2010. There is a missing [[859#Trivia|close parenthesis]].
*The way it has a demilitarized zone towards Wyoming resembles {{W|North Korea}} and {{W|South Korea}}.
*Eleven dimensions refers to {{w|string theory}}.
*A {{w|wormhole}} is a theoretical relative of the {{w|black hole}}. This is a reference to the television series {{w|Stargate SG-1}} where a device capable of creating wormholes is located in the {{w|Cheyenne Mountain nuclear bunker}} in Colorado.
*A {{w|Horcrux}} is a type of magical object in the world of {{W|Harry Potter}} that prevents the creator of it from passing on. They may die, but their soul remains to be resurrected by another wizard
*The radiation zones around Longmont are caused by {{w|Radioactive contamination from the Rocky Flats Plant|radioactive contamination from the Rocky Flats Plant}}.
*The fake motto ''Si parare possis, vivere septem'' can be roughly translated as "With preparation, survival is possible for over a week."

New Mexico, according to [https://xkcd.com/1079/info.0.json official transcript], is "A liquid container labelled for something of unusual and silly danger". The labelling is upside down and it refers to the nuclear testing facility White Sands Missile Range located in New Mexico for the nuclear bomb. The joke is that it presents the white sand itself as extremely hazardous. The phrase "contains chemicals known only to the state of Nevada" may be a reference to the nuclear weapons testing that occurred in Nevada (although in that case, it's not really the ''state'' of Nevada that knows those chemicals, but rather the {{w|Nevada Test Site}}, home of Area 51 ''et al''), and is also a reference to California's {{w|1986 California Proposition 65|Proposition 65}} warning label, "WARNING: This product contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm."
:This end up
:Property of White Sands Missile Range
:??? [Followed by a {{w|NFPA 704}} Diamond with all divisions at severe risk, and a radiation symbol in the special notice division]
:Contains White Sand
:FLAMMABLE
:Warning:
:This product contains chemicals known
:only to the state of Nevada.
:Contents under pressure from parents
:If swallowed, induce labor
:56 fluid ounces
:and 14 other ounces

The title text makes fun of Florida which is sometimes called "The penis of America". Obviously, this penis is somewhat flaccid (not erect). The use of the word "state" is a pun, as it means some particular condition (flaccid state) as well as a political entity (The State of Florida).

==Objects==
{|class=wikitable
!State!!Contained Picture!!Comments
|-
|Alabama ||A moai head facing east.||{{w|Moai}} are Easter Island stone statues.
|-
|Alaska ||A bear with a jet pack and a ray gun.||The ray gun and {{w|jet pack}} are fixtures of science fiction during the Cold War era, and the Russian Bear is an often-used personification of the country Russia in political cartoonage; the "teddy bear" image may be related to Alaska's former Russian heritage. The USA acquired Alaska from Russia in the Alaska Purchase of 1867 and it became a state in 1959, during the Cold War. The Cold War often featured baseless worries of a potential Russian invasion of Alaska due to their geographical proximity across the Bering Sea and Bering Strait, which persisted through the 1980s; Alaska was the location of a large number of interceptor missiles as part of Ronald Reagan's "Star Wars Defense Initiative" intended to shoot down missiles that might be launched from the USSR. The ray gun is pointed across the Bering Strait at Russia, consistent with Alaska's often being described as the "first line of defense" against Russian aggression. The teddy bear is similar in appearance to {{w|Winnie the Pooh}}.||
|-
|Arizona ||A refrigerated shelf containing milk, bread, and pastries.||
|-
|Arkansas ||A measuring cup.||
|-
|California ||A vacuum.||An old-fashioned upright vacuum cleaner (lying down to the right), green with a yellow bag.
|-
|Colorado ||The Wikipedia article on Colorado.||A fake Wikipedia article on Colorado. Below the text as seen in the provided close up:
:[web address:]
::en.wikipedia.org/wiki/colorado
:[Headers]
::Wikipedia
::Article Talk
::Colorado
:[Main article {note that Randall forgot the closing parentheses ')' after the pronunciation}]
::Colorado (Pronounced [ˈeːijaˌfjatlaˌjœːkʏtl̥] is a US State encompassing portions of the Rocky
::Mountains and the Great Plains. The region has been inhabited since at least 11,000 BCE, and
::some archaeological evidence suggest the state – with roughly its current borders – has literally
::always existed. Colorado is separated from Wyoming by a 28-mile demilitarized zone, and
::has at times exercised substantial regional
::power via the installation of puppet governments
::in neighboring states
::Geographically, Colorado is eleven-dimensional,
::though seven of those dimensions are tightly
::compacted and difficult to detect in most areas
::of the state. Colorado is home to the nation's
::oldest continually-operated wormhole and two
::of President Lincoln's horcruxes.
::The wildlife in Colorado is commonly characterized
::as "erratic", particularly in the radiation zones
::around Longmont. The State's timber wolf
::population is largely bipedal; the Park Service
::has expressed "concern" at their attempts to enroll in
:[Fact box with correct (though black instead of blue) State flag and emblem and fake motto:]
::State of Colorado
::Motto:
::"Si parare possis, vivere septem."
::(With preparation, survival is
::possible for over a week.)
|-
|Connecticut ||A train conductor's hat.||
|-
|Delaware ||A meerkat.||
|-
|Florida ||An eggplant.||The title text mentions the eggplant being in a flaccid state, which might be a reference to the sexual use of the eggplant emoji.
|-
|Georgia ||Missouri.||The outline of the state of Missouri, with the {{w|Gateway Arch}} in St. Louis.
|-
|Hawaii ||The island of Hawaii is a snowball. The smaller islands are small bits of snow.||
|-
|Idaho ||A garden gnome, sitting down.||
|-
|Illinois ||A gangster with a guitar case, upside down.||
|-
|Indiana ||The brush of a paintbrush.||
|-
|Iowa ||A tomato, lettuce, cold cut and cheese sandwich.||
|-
|Kansas ||A {{w|spinet}} piano.||
|-
|Kentucky ||A cloud.||
|-
|Louisiana ||A boot with some gum stuck to the bottom of it.||
|-
|Maine ||A Vulcan salute.||Maine's camp sunshine has had Star Trek related events in the past, including the opportunity to appear in a film.
|-
|Maryland ||A wolf howling to the moon, upside down.||
|-
|Massachusetts ||An elephant, being ridden by a man, carrying tea.||Might be a reference to the Boston Tea Party, which occurred in Massachusetts, and the Republican political party. The man seems to be wearing a tricorn hat.
|-
|Michigan ||A mitten for the lower portion, an eagle for the {{w|Upper Peninsula of Michigan}}.||
|-
|Minnesota ||$160 in $20 USD bills, tied together.||
|-
|Mississippi ||A moai head facing west.||
|-
|Missouri ||Georgia.||The outline of the state of Georgia, with a pair of {{w|Georgia Peach|Georgia peaches}}.
|-
|Montana ||One half of a muffin, sideways.||
|-
|Nebraska ||A blue VW type 2 with mattresses sticking out the back.||
|-
|Nevada ||A clothes iron.||
|-
|New Hampshire ||A tall brick factory building.|| There are many brick mill buildings in Manchester, the largest city in the state.
|-
|New Jersey ||A bent-over old person. He is carrying a cane.||
|-
|New Mexico ||A liquid container labeled for something of unusual and silly danger.||A yellow liquid container with upside-down labeling.
::This end up!!
::Property of White Sands Missile Range
::Contains White Sand
:[Written inside a hazardous-materials {{w|NFPA 704|NFPA diamond}} with the ? very large, and the three '4' in the three top part of a diamond shape divided in four these three sections being blue(health), red(flammability), and yellow(instability). The lower part has a radioactive sign on the same grey background as the large rectangle.]
::??? 4 4 4
::Flammable
::Warning
::This product contains chemicals known
::Only to the State of Nevada.
::Contents under pressure from parents
::If swallowed, induce labor
::56 fluid ounces
::and 14 other ounces
::NB - There are several chemicals such as {{w|Pentaborane(9)}}(reacts with water) and {{w|tert-Butyl hydroperoxide|''tert''-Butyl hydroperoxide}}(explosive) which have a 4-4-4 rating, however, a substance that is both 4-4-4 and radioactive is unlikely to be handled in bulk
|-
|New York ||A hybrid transmission with standard manual-style gears and a torque converter sliced in half.||
|-
|North Carolina ||A bouquet of flowers. They appear similar to {{w|Galium Palustre|marsh bedstraws}}.||
|-
|North Dakota ||The top half of a guitar amplifier speaker cabinet.|| Possibly a {{w|Randall Amplifiers|Randall}} [https://cdn11.bigcommerce.com/s-49c12/images/stencil/1280x1280/products/12694/26126/apihqruad__00850.1479879391.jpg RD412A] angled 4x12" cabinet, which is similar in appearance and bears [[Randall]]'s name.
|-
|Ohio ||Underwear (Briefs).||Possibly a reference to ''{{w|Captain Underpants}}'', which takes place in Ohio.||
|-
|Oklahoma ||A covered pot, dripping with boil-over.||Western Oklahoma is often called "{{w|Oklahoma Panhandle|the panhandle}}"; sure enough, this is where the boiling pot's handle fits.||
|-
|Oregon ||A locomotive.||
|-
|Pennsylvania ||A very thick book with a bookmark.||
|-
|Rhode Island ||The bow half of a boat's hull.||
|-
|South Carolina ||A slice of pizza.||
|-
|South Dakota ||The bottom half of guitar amplifier speaker cabinet.|| Possibly a {{w|Randall Amplifiers|Randall}} [https://cdn11.bigcommerce.com/s-49c12/images/stencil/1280x1280/products/12694/26126/apihqruad__00850.1479879391.jpg RD412A] angled 4x12" cabinet, which is similar in appearance and bears [[Randall]]'s name.
|-
|Tennessee ||A number of children's books, placed in a slightly askew pile.|| Possibly a reference to Dolly Parton's Imagination Library. The books are {{w|Where's Waldo?}}, {{w|The Wreck of the Zephyr}}, {{w|The Way Things Work}}, Free Fall, {{w|Paddle-to-the-Sea}}, What It Feels Like to Be a Building, and {{w|The Crab with the Golden Claws}}.
|-
|Texas ||A dog sitting in a bowl.||
|-
|Utah ||An oven.||
|-
|Vermont ||A microscope, upside down.||
|-
|Virginia ||A {{w|stegosaurus}}.||
|-
|Washington ||A whale.|| The Puget Sound is well known for whale watching
|-
|Washington DC ||A star.||On most maps, capitals are shown as stars. Washington DC is the capital of the United States.
|-
|West Virginia ||A {{w|frog}}.||
|-
|Wisconsin ||A skull.||
|-
|Wyoming ||An envelope.||The back side of a white envelope, sealed with red wax, with a black heart next to a signature (lower left corner).
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|tables are not welcome here}}
:The '''United Shapes'''
:A map of things states are shaped like
:[Each state has some item wedged to stay inside its borders]

{| class=wikitable
! State
! Official Transcript
! Text
|-
|WA
|whale
|
|-
|MT
|half muffin
|
|-
|ND and SD
|top and bottom halves of an amp
|
|-
|MN
|$160 in $20 USD bills
|
|-
|WI
|skull
|
|-
|MI
|mitten for the lower portion, eagle for the {{w|Upper Peninsula of Michigan}}
|
|-
|NY
|hybrid transmission with standard manual-style gears and a torque converter sliced in half
|
|-
|VT
|microscope, upside down
|
|-
|NH
|tall brick factory building
|
|-
|ME
|Vulcan salute
|
|-
|MA
|elephant, being ridden by a man, carrying tea
|
|-
|CT
|train conductor's hat
|
|-
|RI
|bow half of a boat's hull
|
|-
|OR
|locomotive
|
|-
|ID
|garden gnome, sitting down
|
|-
|WY
|envelope.
|The envelope is marked with a signature, possibly Randall's
|-
|NE
|blue VW type 2 with mattresses sticking out the back
|
|-
|IA
|tomato, lettuce, cold cut and cheese sandwich
|
|-
|IL
|gangster with a guitar case, upside down
|
|-
|IN
|brush of a paintbrush
|
|-
|OH
|underwear (Briefs)
|
|-
|PA
|very thick book with a bookmark
|
|-
|NJ
|bent-over old person
|
|-
|NV
|clothes iron
|
|-
|UT
|oven
|
|-
|CO
|Wikipedia article on Colorado
|See Link Above
|-
|KS
|stand-up piano
|
|-
|MO
|Georgia
|Georgia
|-
|KY
|cloud
|
|-
|WV
|{{w|frog}}
|
|-
|VA
|{{w|stegosaurus}}
|
|-
|DC
|star.
|
|-
|MD
|wolf howling to the moon, upside down
|
|-
|DE
|meerkat
|
|-
|CA
|vacuum cleaner
|
|-
|AZ
|refrigerated shelf containing milk, bread, and pastries
|
|-
|NM
|liquid container with warning label
|This end up!!
Property of White Sands Missile Range

Contains White Sand

???

FLAMMABLE

Warning: This product contains chemicals known Only to the state of Nevada.

Contents under pressure from parents.

If swallowed, induce labor.

56 Fluid Ounces and 14 other ounces.
|-
|OK
|covered pot, dripping with boil-over
|
|-
|AR
|measuring cup
|
|-
|TN
|children's books, placed in a slightly askew pile
|Handford / WHERE'S WALDO / or wally

The Wreck of the Zephyr / Chris Van Allsburg

The Way Things Work / DAVID MACAULRY

Weisner / FREE FALL

PADDLE-TO-THE-SEA / HCH(?)

WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE A BUILDING / Wilson

TINTIN / The Crab with the Golden Claws / Hergé
|-
|NC
|flower bouquet
|
|-
|AK
|teddy bear with a jet pack and a ray gun
|
|-
|HI
|snowball
|
|-
|TX
|dog sitting in a bowl
|
|-
|LA
|boot with some gum stuck to the bottom
|
|-
|MS
|moai head facing west
|
|-
|AL
|moai head facing east
|
|-
|GA
|Missouri.
|Missouri
|-
|SC
|pizza slice
|
|-
|FL
|eggplant
|
|}

==Trivia==
This comic used to be [https://web.archive.org/web/20220125014714/https://store.xkcd.com/products/united-shapes-poster available as a poster] in the xkcd store before it was [[Store|shut down]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:US maps]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Dogs]]
[[Category:Dinosaurs]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]
[[Category:Harry Potter]] 
[[Category:Volcanoes]] 
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]

1078: Knights

2025-01-06T03:02:08Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */ Deleted repeated sentence

{{comic
| number = 1078
| date = July 6, 2012
| title = Knights
| image = knights.png
| titletext = 1. Nf3 ... ↘↘↘ 2. Nc3 ... ↘↘↘ 0-1
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is comparing the opening moves of the game of {{w|chess}} to the opening moves of the {{w|Battle of Agincourt}}, which was fought between the English and the French in the {{w|Hundred Years War}}. In the battle, just like in the comic, the English used their longbowmen effectively, neutralizing the French knights and infantry. The two pieces that are moved out of the white side of the board are both the pieces known as the Knights. White moves first in chess, and in the actual battle, the French knights on horseback attacked first; the English being the black pieces may also be a reference to {{w|Edward the Black Prince}}, who was a prominent figure in an earlier stage of the Hundred Years War. As you can see, all the {{w|Pawn_(chess)|pawns}} (foot soldiers) on the right side of the chess board have bows.

The word "{{w|gambit}}" means "an opening in chess, in which a minor piece or a pawn is sacrificed to gain an advantage". The usual gambit of sacrificing a pawn is subverted to be a sacrifice of a high-value piece, as an analogy of what happened at Agincourt.

The title text uses {{w|algebraic chess notation}}. Nf3 means a knight has moved to square c3. N means knight because the king piece has the K abbreviation covered. What comes after the typical chess move is what can only be read as a hail of arrows. 0-1 at the end means that "Black Wins". This implies that White resigned, as he is not in checkmate (for non-timed chess games, the only ways to win are by checkmating your opponent or by having them resign). It seems to be an error that ellipses are included before Black's moves, as algebraic notation uses ellipses only to indicate that White's move has been omitted.

==Transcript==
:[A chessboard, The black pawns have all gained longbows and have specifically taken down the white knights as they move forward, without any black pieces needing to move from their opening positions. Caption below the panel:]
:The Agincourt Gambit

== Trivia ==
* In the title text, Nf3 was accidentally written as Ne3. At the beginning of a chess game, neither white knight can move to e3. The proper move (and the move actually made, in the picture) is Nf3. This was later corrected.

* There is an actual chess opening known as the Agincourt Defense: 1. c4 e6. However, in the case of the Agincourt Defense, White represents the English and Black the French, which is the opposite of the situation depicted in the comic. This is because the move 1. c4 by White is the English Opening, and the move 1... e6 by Black is the same as what Black plays in the French Defense, which is 1. e4 e6.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Chess]]

1037: Umwelt

2024-12-31T15:46:43Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1037
| date = April 1, 2012
| title = Umwelt
| image = umwelt_the_void.jpg
| titletext = Umwelt is the idea that because their senses pick up on different things, different animals in the same ecosystem actually live in very different worlds. Everything about you shapes the world you inhabit--from your ideology to your glasses prescription to your web browser.}}
{{TOC}}
*To view your personal version of the comic, visit the {{xkcd|1037|original comic}}.

==Explanation==
This was the third [[:Category:April fools' comics|April fools' comic]] released by [[Randall]]. The previous fools comic was [[880: Headache]] from Friday April 1st 2011. The next was [[1193: Externalities]] released on Monday April 1st 2013. The most recent was [[2916: Machine]]

An {{w|Umwelt}}, as the title text explains, is the idea that a person's entire way of thinking is dependent on their surroundings. Thus, this {{w|April Fools}} comic changes based on the browser, location or referrer. Thus what the viewer is viewing the comic on, where they live or where they came from determines which comic they actually see. As a result, there are actually multiple comics that went up on April Fools' Day, although only one is seen.
(The term 'Umwelt,' as mentioned in the comic, refers to the semiotic theories of Jakob von Uexküll and Thomas A. Sebeok)

Information about how the wide variety of data was collected and credit for the viewers who contributed can be found [https://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/rnst4/april_fools_xkcd_changing_comic/ here].

===The Void===
[[File:umwelt the void.jpg]]

If the device or browser you are using does not support Javascript, you will simply see a static image of a white swirl on a dark background.

Possible reference to The Ring (https://imgur.com/wlGmm), as though to suggest that using an alternative browser is dismal and horrific.

Davean (xkcd's sysadmin): "[This] comic isn't available everywhere and it can come up i[n] some situation[s] only for recognized browsers."

Browser: Alternative Browser

===Aurora===
[[File:umwelt aurora.png|800px]]

One could interpret that since Megan didn't go out and therefore missed seeing the {{w|Aurora}} (northern lights), Cueball in his [[1350:_Lorenz#Knit_Cap_Girl|knit cap]] lied about it. That way, she wouldn't have felt sad that she missed out. Another interpretation could be that he decides that since she did not even bother to go outside to see such a spectacular sight he will not tell her about it. And yet another could be that he did not think it was interesting.

Cueball could possibly also be red-green colorblind, seeing the green aurorae as grey "clouds". This would serve as an example for the theme of the comic, as a non-colorblind person and a colorblind person seeing the same color would perceive it differently, one seeing it as its true color, and the other seeing it without the shade of color they cannot see. If this is the case, then it would be a reference to umwelt, as Cueball would be living in a world where the auroras do not reach his location.

In real life, [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-northern-lights-dont-look-anything-like-they-do-in-photos_n_5500a4d9e4b0e62d0dd4f9bb aurorae are usually seen as grey/white clouds] to the naked eye, as our eyes cannot perceive the "greener" colors as well in the dark.

This image changed based on the size of the browser window including different panels at different sizes.

Locations: Canada, Boston, Indiana, Maine, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Texas, Minnesota< Norway, Denmark, France, Ireland, Rhode Island, Mississippi, Seoul (Safari), London (on Firefox), China (on Firefox and Safari), Finland (Uses "Canada"). Also in Virginia, but using Ohio in the first panel; in Wisconsin and Maryland, but using Canada in the first panel; in Marion, Illinois, but using Canada in the first panel along with the phrase "as far south as us" in the first panel, and in Utah, also using the phrase "as far south as us", same with Colombia, Spain, Georgia, Florida, Iowa, Washington State, and California.

In [[1302: Year in Review]] a possibly different Megan has a completely different approach to the chance of seeing northern lights, as that was the only event she was looking forward to in 2013, and it failed. If this is the same Megan, perhaps she learned that there actually were northern lights in her area from another source, and so desperately wanted to have another chance to see them.

===Snake===
[[File:umwelt snake composite 1024.png]]
[[:File:umwelt snake composite.png|Full size]]

The joke here is the extreme length of snakes. The world's longest living snake is the {{w|reticulated python}}, the longest ever measuring over 22 feet (6.95 meters). The blue and orange circles refer to the hit game {{w|Portal}}.
There is also a reference to the book "The Little Prince" in the second panel, where there is a large bulge in the snake that looks like an elephant. The Little Prince starts out by mentioning a drawing that the author made when he was six that showed an elephant inside a snake.

Also, the number and content of the panels changes depending on the size of your browser window.

This image changed based on the size of the browser window including different panels at different sizes.

Specific AltText for this image: Umwelt is the idea that because their senses pick up on different things, different animals in the same ecosystem actually live in very different worlds. Everything about you shapes the world you inhabit -from your ideology to your glasses prescription to your browser window size.

Location: Texas (on Chrome Version 33.0.1750.154 m), New Jersey, California (on Chrome Version 39.0.2171.95), Maryland, Massachusetts (Safari for iOS, Chrome version 49.0.2623.112), Connecticut (Safari for iOS, Chrome Version 73.0.3683.103, Internet Explorer and Microsoft Edge), Virginia (on Chrome), Michigan (Firefox v46.0.1), Penang (Chrome Version 65.0.3325.162), London (Microsoft Edge), Germany (on Opera One (version: 106.0.4998.70)), Fruita, Colorado (on Chrome for Android version 123.0.6312.80), China (Chrome and Edge).

===Black Hat===
[[File:umwelt tortoise 1024.png]]
[[:File:umwelt tortoise.png|Full size]]

Cueball as an analyst attempts to psychoanalyze [[Black Hat|Black Hat's]] [[72: Classhole|classhole]] tendencies. Cueball's quote and the whole setup is a direct reference to the movie {{w|Blade Runner}} (1982) and Black Hat is taking the Voight-Kampff test which is used to identify replicants from real humans.

Black Hat's reason for not helping the tortoise is that ''it '''knows''' what it did'' and thus in Black Hat's world view it deserves being turned over. The final part of the joke is that when zooming out it turns out that there is a tortoise behind Black Hat and he has actually already turned it over for what it did.

Location: Seems to appear mostly in "other countries" — those without location-specific comics.

===Too Quiet===
[[File:umwelt too quiet 1024.png]]
[[:File:umwelt too quiet.png|Full size]]

A reference to {{w|Jurassic Park (film)|Jurassic Park}} which has been [[87: Velociraptors|constantly]] [[135: Substitute|referred]] [[1110: Click and Drag|to]] [[155: Search History|before]] [[758: Raptor Fences|in]] this comic.

Also referencing the film {{w|2 Fast 2 Furious|2 Fast 2 Furious}}, an entertaining, yet intellectually unprovoking sequel in a popular film franchise, which is aimed at teenagers and young adults, prompting the blunt response from the stickman. The fact that Steve would use such a cliché {{w|2000s (decade)|noughties}} movie term in such an intense moment, and the subsequent curse, is the joke in this comic.

Location: short version — iPhone 5c Safari browser in Texas, iPhone 5 Chrome Browser in Minnesota, long version - Google Chrome browser in Indiana, Windows 8 Laptop

===Pond===
[[File:umwelt pond mobile.png]][[File:umwelt pond wide.png]]

Two different versions showed, the narrower version for mobile devices.

Location: The Netherlands and various other countries.

===Galaxies===
[[File:umwelt galaxies 1024.jpg]]
[[:File:umwelt galaxies.jpg|Full size]]

Megan is distracted from her conversation with [[Cueball]] by realizing that the space behind his head, from her vantage point, contains millions of galaxies. This is similar to an [https://nssdc.gsfc.nasa.gov/image/astro/hst_deep_field.jpg incredible photograph] taken by the Hubble Telescope, in which a tiny dark area of space in fact contained numerous galaxies.

The title text is an imaginative leap from this scenario: that the galaxies would be up to no good once Cueball is turned away from them.

This comic was only reported once... the intended environmental context is a mystery.

Location: unknown

===xkcd Gold===
[[File:umwelt xkcd gold.png]]

This is probably a reference to the 4chan Gold Account, an implementation on 4chan that does not actually exist, and is usually used to trick newcomers into revealing their credit card numbers. The joke is that "Gold Account" users can supposedly block other users from viewing images they have posted. The fifth panel is probably a reference to Beecock, a notorious set of shocker images. 4chan's moderators have been known to give out "beecock bans" or "/z/ bans" to particularly annoying users, which redirect the user to a page containing beecock and the text "OH NO THE BOARD IS GONE".

Referrer: 4chan

===Yo Mama===
[[File:umwelt dog ballast.png]]

Possible reference to Kurt Vonnegut Jr.'s "{{w|Harrison Bergeron}}."

The joke is that people's different experiences shape how they perceive the world in that the people who live in this world would perceive the joke as funny, while people in our world would not get it. This is the idea of umwelt mentioned at the top of the context where different individuals perceive the world differently.

Refer: Facebook

===Reddit===
[[File:umwelt reddit.png]]

Reference to referencing, because Reddit, as a referring site, likes references to its referencing in its references.

This comic also features recursive imagery similar to [[688: Self-Description]] where the second panel embeds the entire comic within itself. (Except, conspicuously, the arrow indicating that it is "You" in the first panel.)

One of the browser tabs visible in the center panel is {{w|Elk}} on Wikipedia.

Referrer: Reddit

===Buns and Hot dogs===
[[File:umwelt somethingawful.jpg]]

This is a reference to the question "Why do hot dogs come in packages of 6 while buns come in packages of 8?"

Another, more sexual reference to this question can be found in [[1641: Hot Dogs]].

Referrer: SomethingAwful, Questionable Content, & MetaFilter

===Twitter===
[[File:umwelt twitter.jpg]]

A summary of the "content" typically found on Twitter.

In the tweet feed, there are three tweets about some podcast on the top, followed by the tweet containing link they clicked on to get to the comic, tweets about Rob Delaney, unspecified passive-aggressive tweets, and a tweet from {{w|Horse_ebooks}} retweeted by one of the users the reader follows.

On the left, the topmost dialog, with profile information, shows that the user has posted 1,302 tweets, but only follows 171 people and has even fewer followers, at a measly 48. This is marked with a sad face, implying that the user wants more followers.

Below that is the "who to follow" dialog, which is written up as consisting of "assholes".

Below that is the "trending tags" dialog for the United States. It is full of tags about word games, tags about misogyny, and tags about Justin Bieber.

Below that is an unidentified dialog full of "stuff your eyes automatically ignore". And finally, on the bottom is the background color, which is "a really pleasant blue".

"Aggression" is misspelled.

Referrer: Twitter

===Wikipedia===
[[File:umwelt wikipedia wide.jpg]]
[[File:umwelt wikipedia mobile.png]]

The term {{w|Mile High Club}} (or MHC) is a slang term applied collectively to individuals who have had sexual intercourse while on board an aircraft. Randall says that reading the news articles on it has distracted him from making that comic.

Two different versions shown, the narrower version (the single panel with all the text) for mobile devices.

Referrer: Wikipedia

===Google Chrome===
[[File:umwelt chrome1.jpg]]

{{w|Sergey Brin}} (born August 21, 1973) is an American computer scientist and Internet entrepreneur who, with Larry Page, co-founded Google, one of the most profitable Internet companies. As of 2013, his personal wealth was estimated to be $24.4 billion. Randall makes the joke that as the founder of Google, Brin's permission would be needed to use Google Chrome. Because there are millions of people who use Google, it is likely that at least some of the time Brin would be asleep, thus he would need to be woken.

Browser: Chrome

===Chrome/Firefox===
[[File:umwelt chrome2.png]]

Mozilla {{w|Firefox}} is a free and open-source web browser developed for Windows, OS X and Linux, with a mobile version for Android and iOS, by the Mozilla Foundation and its subsidiary, the Mozilla Corporation. Cueball is complaining about {{w|Google Chrome}}, to which [[Ponytail]] replies that there is an {{w|add-on}} that fixes what he is complaining about. When questioned, she replies that the add-on is Firefox, which isn't an add-on at all and is instead a different browser.

Browser: Chrome

===Google Chrome-2===
[[File:umwelt chrome3.png]]

This panel references Google Chrome's error screen, which shows a puzzle piece. The comic humorously implies that Chrome is looking for that piece. When completing jigsaw puzzles, a common strategy is to figure out where the pieces must be from their geometry rather than from the picture they create. In this case, the text suggests that Chrome believes the puzzle piece connects to the pieces which form one of the corners of the puzzle, which may seem impossible because any piece that links up to a corner would usually have at least one flat edge, which this piece has none. However, more complicated puzzles have complex shapes and are not always simply approximate squares with tabs and blanks.

Browser: Chrome or silk on desktop view

===Mozilla Firefox Private Browsing===
[[File:umwelt firefox incognito.png]]

Another reference to crashing web browsers.
Firefox shows the history when it crashes.
Browser: Firefox (Incognito only?)

===Internet Explorer===
[[File:umwelt ie.png]]

This is yet another reference to crashing web browsers but instead, Internet Explorer has given up. It could be because there are too many sessions, they are shutting it down, or maybe it was too lazy to do anything.

Browser: Internet Explorer

===Maxthon===
[[File:umwelt maxthon.png]]

Browser: {{w|Maxthon}}

===Netscape Navigator===
[[File:umwelt netscape womanoctopus.png]]

[[File:umwelt netscape man.png]]

{{w|Netscape Navigator}} was a web browser popular in the 1990s.

Browser: Netscape

===Rockmelt===
[[File:umwelt rockmelt.png]]

{{w|Rockmelt}} is a social-media-based browser.

Reference to the gospel song {{w|Longing for Old Virginia: Their Complete Victor Recordings (1934)|"There's no hiding place down here" by The Carter Family}}, later covered by Stephen Stills.

:I run to the rock just to hide my face
:And the rocks cried out, no hiding place
:There's no hiding place down here

It may additionally be a reference to the ''Babylon 5'' episode "And the Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place," which featured the song.

Browser: Rockmelt

===Plugin Disabled===
[[File:umwelt plugin disabled.png]]

When the Google Chrome web browser does not have the required software (called a plug-in) to display a web page's content, it displays a puzzle piece icon and an error message. In this case, Chrome informs the user that the content is impossible to display.

Browser: Plugin (?) Disabled, Safari Desktop

===Corporate Networks===
[[File:umwelt corporate general.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate amazon chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate amazon firefox.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate amazon other.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate google chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate microsoft chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate microsoft firefox.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate microsoft other.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate nytimes chrome.png]]
[[File:umwelt corporate nytimes other.png]]

These error messages appear if the user is on a network owned by one of the corporations noted. The error message includes a warning against speaking on the company's behalf.

ISP: Corporate networks of Amazon, Google, Microsoft, NY Times

===Military===
[[File:umwelt military.png]]

[[Cueball]] assumes that anyone using a military network has an important job like watching for incoming missiles. He includes a thank-you to the user for their military service.

ISP: Military networks

===T-Mobile===
[[File:umwelt tmobile.png]]

Reference to T-Mobile's distinguishing feature (at the time it was written) of weaker coverage, in relation to other major providers.

ISP: T-Mobile

===Verizon and AT&T===
[[File:umwelt verizon.png]]

[[File:umwelt att.png]]

Reference to Verizon and AT&T's scandals/controversy regarding implementation of bandwidth caps.

ISP: Verizon and AT&T

===France===
[[File:umwelt france.jpg]]

A common joke about France is that the nation does not win wars. This originated from France's annexation by Germany during World War II, and America's late entry into the war, which is sometimes portrayed humorously as a case of America 'saving' Europe, in this joke particularly France (the role of the French resistance is usually not mentioned), leading to a common American joke at the expense of France's military prowess [https://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/victories.html][https://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blpic-frenchmilitaryvictories.htm][https://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljokefrenchmilitaryhistory.htm]. When France did not form part of the coalition that invaded Iraq in 2003, aligning with the many countries that condemned U.S. action, the joke was revived.

A Google search of "French Military Victories" + 'I'm feeling lucky' used to direct to "did you mean: french military defeats" (due to a {{w|Google bomb}}). Cueball is trying to show this to his friend, who is French. However, his joke backfires, as his friend immediately points out that the stereotype of France not having military victories is undercut by the fact that one of the most innovative military commanders in history, Napoleon, was French by citizenship (though Italian/Corsican by culture, as the French annexed Corsica a few months before his birth to an Italian noble family), and in fact conquered much of Europe.

Following the theme of umwelt, the comic highlights the two characters' differing perspectives: The American thinks that France is a military failure, while the Frenchman thinks of Napoleon.

The last line of the comic further implies that Cueball is not as smart as he thinks he is in regards to anything French, as he mispronounces the French loan word "{{w|Touché (fencing)|touché}}".

Locations: France & Quebec

===Germany===
[[File:umwelt germany.png]]

This comic references the {{w|Berlin airlift#The start of the Berlin Airlift|Berlin Airlift}}, a relief measure for citizens in West Berlin (surrounded by East Germany) instituted by the Western Allies after World War II. In reality, the Western Allies flew a grand total of 500,000 tons of food over the Soviet blockade in planes. Randall puts a twist on this event by making it more fun: dropping supplies from a grand chairlift. The play on words is that "chairlift" rhymes with "airlift" and thus makes an easy substitution. The chair force is also a name that other service branches use to make fun of the air force. Note East Germany wasn't blockaded, only West Berlin. "Blockade" is misspelled.

Location: Germany

===Israel===
[[File:umwelt israel.png]]

Translation: Mom, I met a great guy! But he's not Jewish. ...Wait, what do you mean "neither are we"? I'm completely confused.

A reference to the multiple use of the word Jewish to denote both a {{w|Judaism|religious group}} and a {{w|Jews|nationality/ethnicity}}, as well as the stereotype of Jews holding low opinions of interfaith marriage.

A side note: Randall accidentally drew an apostrophe instead of the similar-looking Hebrew letter י everywhere that letter should appear.

Location: Israel

===Carnot Cycle===
[[File:umwelt japan.png]]

A pun on "cycle"; a "{{w|Carnot cycle}}" is a thermodynamic cycle (e.g. refrigeration). Its efficiency depends on the temperature of the hot and cold 'reservoirs' in which it is operating. The icon on the side of the motorcycle resembles a [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/06/Carnot_cycle_p-V_diagram.svg/1000px-Carnot_cycle_p-V_diagram.svg.png graph of the Carnot cycle.]

Location: Japan

===UK===
[[File:umwelt uk.jpg]]

He worded this as though to imply that the UK is a state of the U.S., and an unimportant one at that, which pokes fun at the UK, creating a paradox (sort of).

Location: UK

===Blizzard===
[[File:umwelt disasters blizzard.png]]

This comic is aimed at the debate over whether earthquakes or blizzards are harsher conditions to live under. In keeping with the theme of umwelt, the comic demonstrates that the two people perceive the world in two different ways due to their different experiences: The Californian perceives a mild earthquake and a severe blizzard, while the Northeasterner perceives a severe earthquake and a mild blizzard.

For each particular location in which this displayed, the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: Alabama, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Georgia, Halifax, Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, the Northeast, Ohio, Oklahoma, Ottawa, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Texas, Toronto, Tennessee, New York, Wisconsin

===Tornado===
[[File:umwelt disasters tornado.png]]

This comic is aimed at the debate over whether earthquakes or tornadoes are harsher conditions to live under. In keeping with the theme of umwelt, the comic demonstrates that the two people perceive the world in two different ways due to their different experiences: The Californian perceives a mild earthquake and a severe tornado, while the Midwesterner perceives a severe earthquake and a mild tornado. It's similar to [[#Blizzard|Blizzard]].

For each location this displayed in the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: Alabama, Dallas, Illinois, Georgia, Missouri, Ohio, Oklahoma, Ottawa, Tennessee, Texas (and Virginia, but it used Ohio in the third panel)

Tornadoes are a [[:Category:Tornadoes|recurring subject]] on xkcd. The picture used in [[1754: Tornado Safety Tips]] very reminiscent of the one from this version of Umwelt. [[Category:Tornadoes]]

===Hurricane===
[[File:umwelt disasters hurricane.png]]

This comic is aimed at the debate over whether earthquakes or hurricanes are harsher conditions to live under. In keeping with the theme of umwelt, the comic demonstrates that the two people perceive the world in two different ways due to their different experiences: The Californian perceives a mild earthquake and a severe hurricane, while the Easterner perceives a severe earthquake and a mild hurricane. It's similar to [[#Blizzard|Blizzard]] and [[#Tornado|Tornado]].

For each location this displayed in the state name was substituted in the third panel.

Locations: D.C, Florida, Georgia, Houston, Miami, New Jersey, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia

===Lake Diver Killer===
[[File:umwelt lake diver.png]]

This comic shows a news reporter standing in front of a lake. She is reporting on a serial killer who targets divers. As more divers are sent in to investigate and/or search for bodies, more divers go missing, the implication being that they were also murdered. The more likely reason is the lake itself is dangerous for diving, and the divers probably drowned from natural hazards (undercurrents, entanglement, running out of oxygen in tanks, etc.) instead of a malicious assailant. Also, this is a sort of loop, where each time a diver gets killed, the investigative team goes and investigates, causing more divers to get killed, causing more deaths, and so on.

Location: Bay Areas, Metro Detroit, Vermont showed an image specifically referencing Lake Champlain

===Lincoln Memorial===
[[File:umwelt lincoln memorial.png]]

{{w|Abraham Lincoln}}, the 16th president of the United States of America, was not an entity composed wholly of nanobots that attempted to consume the entire nation to then be imprisoned within the {{w|Lincoln Memorial}}.{{Citation needed}} The inscription references the epitaph at the actual Lincoln Memorial, which reads "In this temple, as in the hearts of the people for whom he saved the union, the memory of Abraham Lincoln is enshrined forever".

Locations: Illinois & Washington, D.C.

===Helicopter Hunting===
[[File:umwelt helicoptor.png]]

In Alaska, governments and individuals have {{w|Wolf hunting#North America 2|shot wolves en masse from helicopters}} in an attempt to artificially inflate populations of game, such as moose and caribou, to make hunting them easier. This is opposed by many, as the game populations are not endangered (thus, this threatens ecological balance); wolves are a small threat to livestock in North America; most of the wolf body —including meat and bones— goes wasted as they are sought mainly for their pelts.

Knowledge of this issue was popularized by press around vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin's infamous support for this culling method.

Location: Alaska

===Newspaper===
[[File:umwelt life scientists.png]][[File:umwelt life rit.png]][[File:umwelt life umass.png]]

Creating new life has long been a well understood process, in a lab or otherwise.

This comic is likely a reference to the title text of [[983: Privacy]]

Location: Various

Specific versions appeared for RIT and UMass Amherst

===Robot Paul Revere===
[[File:umwelt paul revere.png]]

Combination of the legend of {{w|Paul Revere#"Midnight Ride"|Paul Revere}} and a computer bit that differentiates between two situations by indicating a zero or a one.

Location: Boston

===Counting Cards===

All four colleges in this series are in Massachusetts and, being similar, in pairs, rival each other to some extent (Harvard-MIT and Smith-Wellesley). The comic contains a reference to the {{w|MIT Blackjack Team}}, which entered popular culture via the {{w|21 (2008 film)|film 21}}, and a possible reference to Orwell's book '1984' and/or {{w|Chain of Command (Star Trek: The Next Generation)|popular homage to it via Star Trek}}: "There are four lights."[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChYIm6MW39k]

Bonus: The thought-gears in panel 3 are spinning against each other.

Location: Harvard

[[File:umwelt counting cards harvard.png]]

Location: MIT

[[File:umwelt counting cards mit.png]]

"Course 15s" at MIT are the business major students, often mocked for taking a less-rigorous program. The different interpretation for why the MIT students could not count cards compared to Harvard may be a reference to the theme of umwelt.

Location: Smith

[[File:umwelt counting cards smith.png]]

Location: Wellesley

[[File:umwelt counting cards wellesley.png]]

Both Wellesley and Smith are all-women colleges in Massachusetts.

===Giant Box Trap===
[[File:umwelt box trap.png]]

Randall got his undergrad in Physics at the {{w|Christopher Newport University}}, and was scheduled to return shortly to give a talk. The "Trible" figure on the right is Paul Trible, the then-president of CNU. This comic depicts a classic trap, where an upside-down box is propped up with a stick. When the stick is removed, by pulling a string, the box falls and traps whatever is underneath it. Aside from the joke of the obvious trap, there's also the fact that the president would not be responsible for revoking unearned diplomas.

Location: Christopher Newport University

===Chemo Support===
[[File:umwelt chemo.jpg]]

[[Cueball]] has shaved his head in support of people going through {{w|chemotherapy}} but, as he is always depicted as a stick figure with no hair, no one can tell.

Randall's now-wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, and apparently DFCI is where they've been spending much of their time.

Location: Dana-Farber Cancer Institute

===Reviews===
[[File:reviews.png]]

The previous strip appears twice when using [[wikipedia:Tor (anonymity network)|Tor]].

This strip was previously used in [[1036: Reviews]].

Browser: Any using Tor, xkcd API (JSON, RSS, Atom), w3m and reports of seeing it on a Kindle Fire HD, unixkcd; also happens if visiting with a browser that does not support JavaScript (such as Firefox with NoScript)

===Nothing===

[[File:Umwelt blank.jpg]]

In some cases, the comic can be completely absent, with only the top and bottom buttons visible. On most newer browsers, this is caused by a script loading part of the comic via an HTTP request while the rest of the webpage is delivered over HTTPS. This is referred to as [https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/Security/Mixed_content mixed content] and is blocked on modern browsers by default due to security concerns. This version of the comic is therefore likely not an intended outcome, but rather an unintended consequence of how this comic was implemented. [https://mastodon.social/@chromakode/109531309722997557 It has been confirmed] that this was not intentional and will be fixed. Since this comic's release, all devices viewing it have returned two rows of navigation buttons if near IP address 69.114.249.104.

The http(s) issue seems to have been fixed.

==Transcript==
:'''[This section only covers the first three comics. For the transcript of the entire comic, go to the [[1037: Umwelt/Transcript|full transcript page]].]'''

===The Void===
:[An epic void with a bright light shining right on you.]

===Aurora===
:[Cueball heading out past Megan comfortably sitting in front of a desk.]
:Cueball: Apparently there's a solar flare that's causing some Great Aurorae. CBC says they may even be visible here! Wanna drive out to see?
:Megan: Hockey's on.
:Cueball: Ok. Later.

:[An expansive, marvelous image of emerald green northern lights, floating down through the sky.]

:Megan: See anything?
:Cueball: No, just clouds.
:Megan: Not surprised.

===Aurora-US===
:[Cueball heading out past Megan comfortably sitting in front of a desk.]
:Cueball: Apparently there's a solar storm causing northern lights over Canada. CNN say they might even be visible {Options: "As Far South As Us", "Here in Boston", "Maine", "Ohio", "Oregon", "New York"}! Wanna drive out to see?
:Megan: It's cold out.
:Cueball: Ok. Later.

:[An expansive, marvelous image of emerald green northern lights, floating down through the sky.]

:Megan: See anything?
:Cueball: No, just clouds.
:Megan: Not surprised.

===Snake===
:[Two people standing next to each other. Megan is holding the head end of a snake. Depending on the width of your browser, the snake is: three frames, the third of which has a little bit of a bump; the first frame has a human-size bump, the second has a third person looking at the snake, and the third has the snake going though two Portals; a squirrel and the human-size bump in the first frame, a ring next to the third person in the second frame, and Beret Guy riding the snake in front of the portal; or The squirrel, a fourth person within the snake being coiled, and the human bump in the first frame, the ring, a fifth person in love, and the third person in the second frame, Beret Guy and the portal in the third frame, and the same two people in the fourth frame.]

:Megan: I found a snake, but then I forgot to stop.

:'''[For the transcript of the entire comic, go to the [[1037: Umwelt/Transcript|full transcript page]].]'''

==Trivia==
* The Reddit user [https://www.reddit.com/user/SomePostMan SomePostMan] created a [https://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/t6wmh/all_umwelt_1037_comics_in_two_imgur_albums/ post] that collected all of the Umwelt comics and added explanations. Much of his information is now included in this wiki.
* At the start of the [https://xkcd.com/1037/info.0.json official transcript of this comic], the writer added a note alluding to its extreme length:
:: <nowiki>[[Two people...]]</nowiki>
:: ((..wait.. <scrolls through a listing of everything> oh goddammit Randall. Thanks a bunch, dude. I better get a raise for typing out all this))
* This comic was released on April 1 even though that was [[:Category:Sunday comics|a Sunday]] (only the third comic to be released on a Sunday). But it was only due to the April Fools' joke, as it did replace the comic that would have been scheduled for Monday, April 2nd. The next comic, [[1038: Fountain]], was first released on Wednesday, April 4th. This was the first that could be different for different readers.
* This comic displays the previous comic, Reviews (1036), when you try to view it on uni.xkcd.com.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:April fools' comics]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Knit Cap]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]
[[Category:Penis]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Velociraptors]]
[[Category:Your Mom]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]
[[Category:Comics with blood]]
[[Category:Characters with hats]]

1036: Reviews

2024-12-31T09:15:47Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1036
| date = March 30, 2012
| title = Reviews
| image = reviews.png
| titletext = I plugged in this lamp and my dog went rigid, spoke a sentence of perfect Akkadian, and then was hurled sideways through the picture window. Even worse, it's one of those lamps where the switch is on the cord.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] and [[Megan]] are shown shopping for lamps. In the first frame of the comic, it is at a time before online reviews could be looked up on a smartphone. They spot a lamp they like, check the price, and agree to buy, end of story.

But the rest of the comic shows how difficult shopping has become after reviews have become easily accessible on smartphones while standing in the store. And now this takes up the final three panels, with the result that no lamps have been acquired and they decide to sit in the dark, using the claim that their living ''room looks fine in the dark'' to avoid buying a very expensive lamp which is the only one with perfect reviews (like 100% with 5 stars out of 5).

When shopping for anything via {{w|reviews}}, whether it be electronics or even something as simple as lamps like the comic demonstrates, one negative review can spoil a lot of positive reviews. That hits home even more if the review is specific because humans attach more weight to anecdotes and specific stories. This comic points out the absurdity of paying attention to those reviews, by making the negative review itself absurd (a lamp making your cats go deaf and interfering with your taste buds would imply, at the very least, anomalous emissions, and would not be on store shelves long before some kind of serious recall).

The second part of the comic starts normally. For the lamp Cueball thinks is pretty Megan finds ''lots'' of negative reviews which implies the product really isn't good after all, and it was even that specific brand of lamps in general that was to be avoided. But then this proceeds to get more and more absurd to the title text. Cueball is for instance looking at a lamp that someone thinks looks like a {{w|uterus}}. If Cueball did not feel the same way, he should ignore one person's comment. On the other hand, reading such a statement will maybe make you think of a uterus every time you see the lamp. So now it may be best not to buy it, but had he not read the comment it might have been a fine lamp for him.

In the final frame, Cueball has found a Swiss lamp maker with perfect reviews, but her lamps are very expensive, the cheapest starting at 1,300 francs. {{w|Swiss franc|Swiss francs}} are the units of currency used in {{w|Switzerland}}. In 2012 when the comic was released a Swiss franc was worth a little more than one dollar ([http://www.exchangerates.org.uk/CHF-USD-30_03_2012-exchange-rate-history.html US$1.10 to a Swiss Franc], at the time of publication) making the cheapest lamp go for not much less than US$1450. For comparison, US$15 can get a decent lamp at IKEA. Furthermore, the lampmaker lives in the {{w|Swiss Alps}} and can only be reached via a {{w|ski lift}}. This either indicates that transportation will be very expensive on top of the high starting price or it may even indicate that they will have to go to the lampmaker personally to either acquire a lamp or maybe just to check out that they do not look like a uterus or [http://gizmodo.com/5360742/penis-chandelieryes-penis-chandelier other parts] of the human reproductive system...

The title text is presumably the review of another lamp. When this reviewer plugged in this lamp, supposedly his dog went rigid, delivered a line of perfect Akkadian, and then was hurled sideways out the picture window. {{w|Akkadian_language|Akkadian}} is an extinct {{w|Semitic language}} that was spoken in {{w|ancient Mesopotamia}}. Even if the dog did speak a sentence of perfect Akkadian, the chance that the owner would be able to recognize it as such is negligible. The final joke is that the worst thing about this lamp was not the above-mentioned crazy effects on the dog, but that the lamp had, completely normally, the switch on the cord, as opposed to having it on the body of the lamp. A production argument about where to place such a switch, leading to someone getting fired, was part of the joke in [[1741: Work]]. Another possible explanation is that Cueball never turned the switch on, so the lamp suddenly had magical effects on his dog even without electricity. Either way, there is a high probability that this lamp might be considered for, at least, (dis)honorable membership of the list of [[:Category:Comics with cursed items|Cursed Items]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan stand in a store looking at a lamp that Cueball points at on a table in front of them. There is another table behind them with another lamp and next to it stands a box with a picture of yet a different type of lamp in the bottom right corner. Both lamps have a price tag dangling from their shade. Above them (and their spoken text) is a frame with a caption:]
:Shopping before online reviews:
:Cueball: This lamp is pretty.
:Megan: And affordable.
:Cueball: Let's get it.
:Megan OK!

:[Exactly the same setting as above except now Megan holds up her smartphone in one hand looking down at it while typing on it with the other hand. Above them (and their spoken text) is a frame with a caption:]
:Shopping now:
:Cueball: This lamp is pretty.
:Megan: It's got 1½ stars on Amazon. Reviews all say to avoid that brand.

:[To the left of Cueball there is another lamp on a table. But he is now looking at his smartphone instead. Megan has turned away from him but is also looking at her smartphones. There are no lamps next to her.]
:Cueball: This one has good reviews.
:Megan: Wait, one guy says when he plugged it in, he got a metallic taste in his mouth and his cats went deaf.
:Cueball: Eek.
:Cueball: What about- ...no, review points out it resembles a uterus.

:[Cueball is holding his smartphone up in front of his face, Megan, looking at him, is holding her smartphone but has her arms down. There are no lamps shown.]
:Cueball: OK, I found a Swiss lampmaker with perfect reviews. Her lamps start at 1,300 Francs and she's only reachable by ski lift.
:Megan: You know, our room looks fine in the dark.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Smartphones]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Online reviews]]

3026: Linear Sort

2024-12-19T19:39:49Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3026
| date = December 18, 2024
| title = Linear Sort
| image = linear_sort_2x.png
| imagesize = 385x181px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The best case is O(n), and the worst case is that someone checks why.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created in Θ(N) TIME by an iterative Insertion Sorter working on a multidimensional array - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
A common task in programming is to sort a list, a list being a collection of related elements of data that are stored in a linear fashion. There are dozens of algorithms that have been created for this through the years, from simple to complex, and each has its own merits with regard to how easy it is to understand/implement, how much space it uses, and how efficiently it operates on the data.

In computer science, the runtime of an algorithm can be described using {{w|Big O Notation}}, which categorises the asymptotic, usually average, runtime (''O'') of a function of the number of elements (''n'') operated on (''f(n)'') as it grows larger and larger towards infinity; this creates the form O(''f''(''n'')) as the final description. Being asymptotic means that Big O Notation only considers parts of the function that scale with time and disregards fixed changes such as multipliers and additions to the scaling time ( 'lesser' scalings are also generally discarded). O(2''n'') is essentially O(''n''), while O(2''n'' + ''n''2) might be taken as O(2''n'') with the significance of ''n''2 practically eclipse in the long term. In practice, an O(''n'') algorithm takes a constant additional amount of time per element operated on, O(log ''n'') suffers less relative increase as the input complexity does, while O(''n''{{w|Factorial|!}}) generates vastly more! This does not make claims about how much time a single base unit of complexity takes to complete (including any lesser overheads), as that relies upon actual hardware and software benchmarks, but it gives the trend in a way that is usually directly comparable between any number of alternate methods implementable in exactly the same situation for an arbitrary usage case. A simple example would be examining pictures in sequence: if it takes one second to look at a picture, it would take ten seconds to look at ten pictures; if it took three seconds to look at a picture, it would take thirty seconds to look at ten pictures — both are described as O(''n'').

Generally, programmers seek to minimize the Big O Notation of their algorithms because it means they take less time. It can be proven that all general-purpose sorting methods have an average-case lower bound of {{w|Big O notation#Big Omega notation|Ω}}(''n'' log ''n'') for all possible input orders; since this is larger than ''n'' on its own, it means that algorithms will always begin to take longer per element as the number of elements increases. This still depends upon the algorithm and the data, as something like an {{w|Insertion sort}} can work in O(''n'') time if given a list already in the correct order, or O(''n''2) if it needs to be reversed.

Here are some examples of common runtimes expressed in Big O notation, from smallest to largest:
<ul><li>O(1) - Constant time, which means the execution time is independent of the size of the data</li>
<li>O(''n'') - Linear time, which means the execution time grows in direct proportion to the size of the data</li>
<li>O(''n'' log(''n'')) - The execution time grows proportionally to ''n'' * the {{w|logarithm}} of ''n'', with the added ''log(n)'' creating an increasingly larger multiplier on the runtime</li>
<li>O(''n''2) - Quadratic time, meaning the execution time grows proportionally to the ''square'' of the size of the data.</li></ul>

The code in the comic describes a 'linear' sort that first sorts the list using {{w|merge sort}}, which is known to take time O(''n'' log(''n'')), and then `sleep()`s (pauses with no activity) for a complementary amount of time by subtracting the time taken for the sort from the number of elements multiplied by 1 million (1e6) seconds. This way, the total time always scales proportionately with the number of elements. This effectively converts the algorithm, through brute force, to fit the definition of linear time: it takes one million seconds — which is more than 11 days — per element, rather than a non-linear progression as the number of elements increases. Although this algorithm ''does'' run in O(''n''), it does not reflect that it is made to be significantly slower than the nominally 'worse' O(''n'' log(''n'')) performance that the embedded sort takes by itself.

It should be noted that for sufficiently large lists, the merge sort will take longer than the million seconds per element, which results in a negative value being passed to the sleep() function. This might halt the program with a runtime error, produce {{w|Integer overflow#Definition variations and ambiguity|unpredictably extra-long}} additional waits or skip any additional wait; all of these still leaving the issue of already having exceeded O(''n''). However, this issue will only arise for impossibly huge lists: if, for instance, a merge sort took ''n log(n)'' microseconds to complete (which would be considered slow, by today's typical processing times), then the comic's 'linear' sort target would be reached sooner only for lists longer than 21,000,000,000,000 ≈ 10300,000,000,000 elements — a number far larger than the number of atoms in the universe. The practical impossibility of this outcome might be why such a ridiculously high number of seconds was chosen.

The title text refers to the {{w|Best, worst and average case|best and worst case}} of a sort, which are additional measures of its runtime to describe the shortest and longest potential times. A more optimal sort may decide how much of a list needs to be passed over again after its first pass of shuffling elements around; scanning a pre-sorted list (and deducing that it has no more checking to do) could mean that no more effort is needed, resulting in a best case of O(''n''). Depending upon the algorithm, presenting a list that is in an ordering that happens to challenge it the most (such as exactly reversed) may mean even an 'average O(''n'' log ''n'')' process would have to exceed this, resulting in a worst-case number of operations that may be O(''n2''). It can be very useful to know that a given sorting method ''may'' take the average order of time, but have the possibility of a much shorter ''or'' longer runtime... especially when the method is expected to be [[1185: Ineffective Sorts|far, far worse than others]], where only particular and more idealistic input lets it approach the more satisfyingly fast average/best responses.

By forcing all practical searches to take O(''n'') time, regardless of how otherwise identical data is presorted, the best case (and worst case, for that matter) will also be O(''n''). The last part of the text then plays on another meaning of best case and worst case, as best- and {{w|worst-case scenario}}s for a situation, by saying that the worst outcome for the code's author is when someone decides to investigate the code (perhaps owing to its absurd runtime, or else just justifiably skeptical of the declared optimality), whereupon that investigator will discover the deception and ruin the author's reputation.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[The panel shows five lines of code:]
:function LinearSort(list):
::StartTime=Time()
::MergeSort(list)
::Sleep(1e6*length(list)-(Time()-StartTime))
::return

:[Caption below the panel:]
:How to sort a list in linear time

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Programming]]

3025: Phase Change

2024-12-16T20:01:51Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3025
| date = December 16, 2024
| title = Phase Change
| image = phase_change_2x.png
| imagesize = 296x354px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Even when you try to make nice, smooth ice cubes in a freezer, sometimes one of them will shoot out a random ice spike, which physicists ascribe to kiki conservation.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOTBA - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This comic is a reference to the {{w|bouba/kiki effect}} (the [[2611: Cutest-Sounding Scientific Effects|cutest-sounding scientific effect]]), where people associate different shapes with different nonsense words.
Because the word bouba is pronounced with long and soft sounds, it is often associated with soft and round objects. Kiki, on the other hand, uses fast, higher pitched, and "cracking" sounds so it is associated with sharp and hard objects. Some real life examples are the antonyms rigid and flowing. This is partly due to humans' needs to {{w|Cognitive categorization|categorize things}}.

The title text refers to {{w|ice spike|ice spikes}}, which are caused by the uneven freezing of ice in a freezer. The title text expands on the joke by claiming that ice cubes wish to maintain the pointiness of objects characterized as "kiki."

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}

2982: Water Filtration

2024-09-07T09:42:32Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2982
| date = September 6, 2024
| title = Water Filtration
| image = water_filtration_2x.png
| imagesize = 593x467px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = You'd think the most expensive part would be the quark-gluon plasma chamber, but it's actually usually the tube to the top of the atmosphere to carry the cosmic rays down.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by WATER. JUST PLAIN WATER. NOTHING DONE TO IT, JUST PLAIN WATER. POSSIBLY DRINKABLE. - Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This comic seems to be a diagram of how well water is purified, a common procedure done to make said water safe to drink. However, this well water is "purified" through a series of increasingly unnecessary, expensive, and possibly hazardous steps.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
!Step
!Real?
!Explanation
|-
|Water softener
|{{Yes|Real}}
|{{w|Water softening}} is the removal of calcium, magnesium, and certain other metal cations in hard water. The resulting soft water requires less soap for the same cleaning effort, as soap is not wasted bonding with calcium ions. Soft water also extends the lifetime of plumbing by reducing or eliminating scale build-up in pipes and fittings. The comic shows the water being passed through some granulated material; presumably, {{w|ion-exchange resins}} are being used to treat the water.
|-
|Reverse osmosis
|{{Yes|Real}}
|{{w|Reverse osmosis}} is one of the main steps used in modern water-purification systems. It relies on using osmotic membranes and high pressures to separate water molecules from dissolved solutes and biological substances.
|-
|Ultraviolet Sterilization
|{{Yes|Real}}
|{{w|Ultraviolet germicidal irradiation|Ultraviolet sterilization}} uses UV lamps at short wavelengths to kill micro-organisms in the water.
|-
|Autoclave
|{{No|Fake}}
|{{w|Autoclaves}} are devices that sterilize items with high temperatures and pressures. While they are commonly used in hospital and laboratory settings to sterilize equipment, it is not normally used to purify water, as it would generate steam by the end of it. Furthermore, it would be extremely energy-intensive to convert the large volumes of water required for human consumption to steam. However, by the rest of this water purification setup, this much energy is barely anything in comparison.
|-
|Condenser
|{{No|Fake}}
|This isn't a purification step, but rather condenses the steam generated by the autoclave back into water.
|-
|Regular osmosis
|{{No|Fake}}
|Regular osmosis is the reverse of the previous Reverse Osmosis step. Oddly enough, this wouldn't directly contaminate the water, since the water is extremely pure as of this moment. Instead this step would simply remove water from the main stream, leaving the filtrate unchanged.
|-
|X-Ray Sterilization
|{{No|Fake}}
|While {{w|Sterilization_(microbiology)#Non-ionizing_radiation_sterilization|X-ray Sterilization}} is used to sterilize equipment, it is not normally used for water.
|-
|Carbon Filter
|{{No|Fake}}
|The water is passed through some volume of carbon. A riff on activated carbon filters, which are used in water filtration (seen later in the process).
|-
|Neutron Source
|{{No|Fake}}
|A {{w|neutron source}} generates high-energy neutrons. High-energy neutrons are highly penetrating and will cause ionization events to occur due to collision with atoms in the water. This can potentially make the water more radioactive due to the generation of radioactive isotopes.
|-
|Activated Carbon Filter
|{{Yes|Real}}
|{{w|Activated carbon}} is a form of carbon commonly used to filter contaminants from water and air, as it has a large surface area available to adsorb impurities on its surface. While this isn't a strange step to see in a water purification process, Randall makes a pun here with its proximity to the neutron source - the carbon has been '{{w|Neutron activation|activated}}' by the neutron source, and is currently radioactive. Water filtered through this may pick up radioactive isotopes from the filter.
|-
|Gamma Ray Sterilization
|{{No|Fake}}
|Similar to x-ray sterilization, this step uses {{w|https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sterilization_(microbiology)#Ionizing_radiation_sterilization|gamma rays}} to sterilize the water. Gamma rays can potentially irradiate the water through photodisintegration if their energy is higher than the binding energy of oxygen.
|-
|Cosmic Ray Sterilization
|{{No|Fake}}
|Similar to the previous step, but this time using high energy {{w|cosmic rays}} to do so. This would be incredibly impractical, as cosmic rays are generally blocked by the atmosphere at high altitudes (as stated in the title text). Furthermore, their extremely high energy (shown to be in the exa-electron volt (10^18 eV) range) would cause multiple high-energy particles to be created on impact with the water molecules, irradiating the water significantly.
|-
|Electrolysis
|{{No|Fake}}
|The water is broken down into hydrogen and oxygen gas using an electric current. Assuming the gas outputs of this process are pure hydrogen and oxygen gas, this *would* be an extremely effective sterilization tactic, seeing as no known organism or water pollutant is entirely composed out of hydrogen or oxygen gas. Along with the next step, this step may be a misguided attempt to "take the water apart and clean each part individually". The hydrogen is sent to the ionizer, while the oxygen is sent to the oxygen spallation step.
|-
|Oxygen Spallation
|{{No|Fake}}
|The oxygen is apparently broken down back into hydrogen via a fictional form of {{w|Cosmic_ray_spallation|spallation}}. While spallation can form lighter nuclei from heavier ones, there is no known process to convert oxygen back down to hydrogen. It is unclear what happens to the neutrons present in the oxygen nuclei - whether they are removed, used to create hydrogen isotopes or allowed to decay into protons and electrons (the components of yet more hydrogen, when properly reintroduced). The hydrogen formed here is merged with the rest of the hydrogen before being sent to the ionizer.
|-
|Ionizer
|{{No|Fake}}
|The hydrogen output by the previous step is made into a plasma with free electrons and protons.
|-
|Quark-Gluon Plasma Chamber
|{{No|Fake}}
|The plasma outputted from the previous step is further energized into a {{w|Quark–gluon plasma}}, such as the one found just after the Big Bang. This follows the theme of the previous steps, which all serve to break the water down into their elementary components. The incredible energies involved in doing so are unachievable by current technologies (current particle accelerators can form such a plasma for very short periods of time and involve a very small amount of matter), and serve to highlight the impracticality of this setup (alluded to in the title text). The energies would also result in formation of lepton pairs from energy, which is presumably where the electrons from the previous step ended up.
|-
|Hydrogenation
|{{No|Fake}}
|This process converts the quark-gluon plasma outputted in the previous step into elemental hydrogen, reversing the previous two steps. Presumably, this is done via {{w|hadronization}} and {{w|recombination}}, however it is unclear how the {{w|baryon asymmetry}} needed to generate matter and not anti-matter is developed. In real life, {{w|hydrogenation}} is the process of adding hydrogen to unsaturated hydrocarbons. The resulting hydrogen is split into 2 streams leading into the Nucleosynthesis and Reverse Electrolysis steps.
|-
|Nucleosynthesis
|{{No|Fake}}
|Part of the hydrogen produced in the previous step is converted into oxygen via 2 sub-processes. The hydrogen is first converted into helium and carbon, through a combination of the {{w|proton-proton chain}} and the {{w|CNO cycle}} as per the labels on the step. This helium and carbon are then converted into oxygen through the {{w|alpha process}}. This step may also involve the {{w|triple-alpha process}}, seeing that the alpha process is typically only applicable to converting carbon into heavier elements, owning to the lack of a stable element with eight nucleons. These steps normally occur in the cores of massive stars. It is not known how the oxygen is filtered from the extremely hot plasma of fusion products.
|-
|Reverse Electrolysis
|{{No|Fake}}
|This step is essentially a fuel cell, utilizing an electrochemical reaction to convert hydrogen and oxygen back into water and electricity.
|-
|Adding Well Water
|{{No|Fake}}
|A second pipe is linked to the first that simply feeds untreated well water into the pipes, undoing the entire process. Even if the well water is only a small portion of the faucet water, its presence has now contaminated the now incredibly pure water, making it potentially unsafe to drink if the original well water was contaminated with toxins or pathogens. This act of putting well water into the faucet after treating it may be a riff on the cultural interest in "spring water" or "pure glacial water" that is said to have additional minerals or beneficial properties but is oftentimes not meaningfully distinct from properly treated tap water.

Alternatively, it may be that the level of purity achieved by this setup is so overkill, and the cost per liter processed so high, that it's simply more efficient to treat just enough of the water to dilute the rest of the water to acceptable levels of contaminants. For example, it's common to use a partial bypass to supply water to the shower, since shower water does not need to be potable.
|}

The title text briefly covers the cost implications of the components. Various 'real' filter elements will either have material or energy costs (if not both), in operation or to replenish their effectiveness, and the high energy input needed to disassociate hadrons into raw quark–gluon plasma (at bulk levels) would seem to require the most in terms of running the equipment. But it is pointed out that to ''ensure'' enough cosmic rays reach that particular phase of sterilization, there would have to be a pipe (not shown) leading out to the edge of the atmosphere to optimistically carry down such particles (due to also containing ''no'' air, i.e. keeping it out to negate the normal {{w|Air shower (physics)|shielding and dissipating effect}} of the atmosphere).

Whether a one-off-cost or needing regular replacement, the setting up of such a tubular structure (a vertical air-proof pipe perhaps somewhere between 100 and 10,000 kilometres high) would be technically challenging and has not ever been actually accomplished. The conditions for a quark–gluon plasma, albeit in limited quantities, at least have been fulfilled at {{w|CERN}} (with its 27 kilometer airless pipe that goes round within a vast circular tunnel).

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}

2980: Lava Lakes

2024-09-04T08:02:11Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2980
| date = September 2, 2024
| title = Lava Lakes
| image = lava_lakes_2x.png
| imagesize = 709x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Hey, golf balls float on lava, so this should make recovering them from the hazards easier.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic shows [[Danish]] talking to [[Black Hat]], mentioning the common myth that there's a lava lake in the crater of every volcano. She points out that there are really only around five lava-filled volcano craters in the world right now. Black Hat responds to this by creating a new one on a nearby golf course. Given that Danish was still waiting when Black Hat came back, the attention span of most people is shorter than the time it takes lava lakes to form and that sane people do not build golf courses directly over active volcanoes,{{cn}} Black Hat would've needed to dig at least 8 kilometers of earth within a very short timespan, which is impossible for a normal human being. Also, since this action was prompted by Danish's remark, Black Hat could not have built or moved anything capable of making a lava lake to the golf course beforehand.

The title text mentions that golf balls will float on lava, making recovering them from {{w|Hazard (golf)|hazards}} easier (man-made obstacles such as sand or water, with sinking in the latter being the more obvious hazard to change). The density of a normal golf ball is about 1.13 grams per cubic centimeter, which is significantly less than the 2.4 ~ 2.9 grams per cubic centimeter of lava. It ''would'' be very easy to retrieve golf balls from lava because of this, if it were not for the fact that lava is hot. Lava is around 800 °C, while most golf balls are made of [https://thegolfmine.com/are-golf-balls-flammable/ materials that ignite] at 400-500 °C, and it could also be somewhat awkward for any hand that goes to retrieve it. Not to mention that the interaction of lava with solids at {{w|Standard temperature and pressure|STP}} [https://www.usgs.gov/media/videos/rockfall-halemaumau tends to be violent]. Lava is also extremely difficult to wipe off a golf ball, both while the lava is fresh and with further difficulties as it cools. Attempts to retrieve golf balls from lava would be profoundly dangerous, and have a vanishingly small probability of success.

These may be the 5 volcano lakes that the comic references ({{w|Lava lake#List of volcanoes having displayed past or present lava lake activity|source}}):
* {{w|Erta Ale}} in Ethiopia
* {{w|Mount Erebus}} on Ross Island, Antarctica
* Kīlauea {{w|Halemaʻumaʻu}} on Hawaiʻi (Big Island) [no active lake in September 2024]
* {{w|Mount Nyiragongo|Nyiragongo}} in the Democratic Republic of the Congo
* {{w|Mount Michael}} on Saunders Island, South Sandwich Islands

==Transcript==
:[Danish and Black Hat are talking, with Danish holding up one hand towards Black Hat]
:Danish: People think volcano craters are full of lava, but that’s rare. There are only five or so lava lakes in the world right now.

:[Black Hat puts one hand up to his chin]
:Black Hat: Interesting.

:[Black Hat walks out of frame off to the right]

:[Danish stands while three distinct off-panel sound effects come from the right]
:Rumble
:Crash
:BOOOOM

:[Black Hat walks back into frame]
:Danish: What did you—
:Black Hat: There are six now.
:Off-panel voice to the right: Why is the golf course erupting!?

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Volcanoes]]
[[Category:Sport]]

2972: Helium Synthesis

2024-08-16T04:12:03Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2972
| date = August 14, 2024
| title = Helium Synthesis
| image = helium_synthesis_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x312px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Our lawyers were worried because it turns out the company inherits its debt from the parent universe, but luckily cosmic inflation reduced it to nearly zero.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BIG BANG NUCLEOSYNTHESIZER - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic explores the challenges of obtaining {{w|helium}}. [[Hairy]] is leading a company meeting with [[Megan]], [[Cueball]], and [[Hairbun]], who are discussing the recurring problem of {{w|helium shortage}}s, a real-world issue due to helium's limited availability on Earth. Helium is a non-renewable resource extracted from {{w|natural gas}} deposits, and its scarcity can affect industries such as medical imaging, semiconductor manufacturing, scientific research, and party balloon supplies.[https://www.marketplace.org/2023/01/19/heliums-been-rising-in-price-and-its-bringing-businesses-down/] (See also [[2766: Helium Reserve]].)

Hairbun suggests investigating the origin of helium. Cueball's research reveals that most helium in the universe came from {{w|Big Bang nucleosynthesis}}, which occurred shortly after the {{w|Big Bang}} when the first elements were formed. (However, 99% of the helium here on Earth has been produced from the {{w|radioactive decay}} of {{w|uranium-238}} and {{w|thorium-232}} — which in turn came from {{w|r-process}} {{w|Supernova nucleosynthesis|nucleosynthesis}} inside merging {{w|neutron star}}s;[https://svs.gsfc.nasa.gov/13873/] see [[2826: Gold]] — into {{w|alpha particles}} identical to temporarily ionized helium, with only the remaining one percent originating from the Big Bang.)

Hairy assigns the team to figure out how to recreate Big Bang nucleosynthesis, which is not actually possible for a contemporary business organization.{{cn}} Nonetheless, the team builds a machine capable of it. While one might hope they would realize activating it would obliterate them along with at least all the closest galaxies, grimly that disadvantage seems to escape their attention in the tightly focused drive towards their ill-fated mission.

The final panels show the creation of a second Big Bang followed by the next 14 billion years, culminating with the same characters in an identical meeting, presumably having arisen from the same series of post-Big Bang events as in the original universe. They are facing the same predicament: helium shortages are still a problem, and they still need a reliable source. That such an extreme solution didn't actually solve the problem shows the impracticality of their plan, suggesting that some problems are too complex or vast to solve through uncritical brainstorming by corporations.

The title text is a wordplay on the concept of {{w|cosmic inflation}}, a theory in cosmology that describes the rapid expansion of the universe just after the Big Bang. The joke imagines the company as having inherited a debt from the parent universe, perhaps due to the expense of creating a second Big Bang. However, thanks to cosmic inflation which dramatically expanded the universe, the debt was diluted (perhaps across the vastness of space), reducing it to almost nothing — much like how {{w|monetary inflation}} reduces the relative cost of debt in fiscal terms. (See also [[2688: Bubble Universes]].)

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Hairy sits on an office chair at the head of a conference table and has his hands on the table, with Cueball and Megan also at the table.]
:Hairy: These helium shortages every few years are such a pain.
:Hairy: Our company needs a reliable source of helium.

:[The same situation, but now Hairbun is also seen at the table on the left side of Cueball. Cueball holds a cellphone in his left hand, which Megan looks at.]
:Hairbun: Where does helium come from, anyway?
:Cueball: Hmm, apparently most of it is from "Big Bang nucleosynthesis"?
:Hairy: Well, let's figure out how to do that.

:[Hairy, Megan and Hairbun are working on a large machine labeled "Big Bang Nucleosynthesis," with Megan holding its wired control device in her left hand.]

:[Two panels depict another Big Bang, followed by various stages of cosmic development, including galaxies and planets forming, shown in white on a black background.]

:[The scene returns to the same conference room setup as before, with the characters in the same positions. Text at the top reads: "14 Billion Years Later."]
:Hairy: These helium shortages every few years are such a pain.
:Hairy: Our company needs a reliable source of helium.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Cosmology]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Recursion]]

2967: Matter

2024-08-07T08:07:25Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2967
| date = August 2, 2024
| title = Matter
| image = matter_2x.png
| imagesize = 234x341px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = He was the first person to land a 900, which is especially impressive because pulling off a half-integer spin requires obeying Fermi-Dirac statistics.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a GOOFY FRONTSIDE WIKI GRIND TO SECRET PHYSICS DEMO TAPE - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

In {{w|skateboarding}}, the term "goofy" means to push with the left foot, using the {{w|Footedness#Goofy_stance|opposite stance}} to the supposedly standard stance of pushing with one's right foot. The comic uses those stances as an analogy for {{w|antimatter}} in particle physics, which has the opposite electrical charge of corresponding matter particles that will annihilate each other upon collision, releasing energy proportional to their combined mass. In this comic, famed professional skateboarder {{w|Tony Hawk}} has obtained a professorship in physics and is teaching this very non-standard concept. As Tony Hawk does not have a degree in physics,{{Citation needed}} teaching inaccurate lessons could be a likely pitfall of his gaining a professorship in real life. Hawk is also the subject of [[296: Tony Hawk]].

Unlike other distributions of 'handedness' in the natural world (chemical {{w|chirality}}, or the {{w|skewness}} of {{w|Multimodal distribution|bimodal statistics}} describing asymmetries in nature called {{w|homochirality}}), 'goofy-footed' skateboarders are about as common as those using standard footing. Thus the analogy indirectly raises the issue of {{w|baryon asymmetry}}, the observation that ordinary matter is very much more common than antimatter because there is so little evidence of annihilation throughout the universe. Baryon asymmetry is often thought to have resulted from fluctuations during {{w|Inflation (cosmology)|cosmological inflation}} between 10−33 and 10−32 seconds [https://journals.aps.org/prl/abstract/10.1103/PhysRevLett.121.251301 after the Big Bang], although there are several other candidate explanations of varying falsifiability.

The title text describes Hawk as the first person to "land a 900," meaning the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YYTNkAdDD8&t=1m30s successful completion] of {{w|900 (skateboarding)|a skateboarding trick}} that involves two and a half rotations (nine hundred degrees, as 2.5 × 360° = 900°). In physics, {{w|Spin (physics)|spin}} is a {{w|quantum number}} describing subatomic particles (see [[1862: Particle Properties]]), named in reference to the vaguely analogous ''but crucially distinct'' concept of {{w|angular momentum}} in classical physics. Obeying {{w|Fermi–Dirac statistics}} requires that the particles involved are {{w|fermion}}s, which include all of the electrons, protons and neutrons that compose the entirety of everyone's body and electrochemical state. Fermions all have {{w|half-integer}} (i.e., ...–1½, –½, ½, 1½...) {{w|spin quantum number}}s which do indeed include 2½, but only [https://physics.aps.org/articles/v7/s137 extremely rare particles] have a spin of 5/2. However, it's very important to remember that [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYeRS5a3HbE&ab_channel=ScienceClicEnglish quantum mechanical spin is ''not'' rotation, but instead how quickly the corresponding particle changes state when rotated.]

While everyone (and almost everything we ordinarily interact with except light and cosmic rays) is composed entirely of fermions, {{w|Boson#Composite bosons|any composite particle made of an even number of fermions, including entire atoms and their nuclei, are not fermions}} but {{w|boson}}s, which do ''not'' obey Fermi–Dirac statistics. Luckily, landing a 900 does not actually require obedience to Fermi–Dirac statistics because a skateboarder composed entirely of bosonic atoms would still have fermionic electrons in the orbitals of those atoms and thus would still obey the far more macroscopically fundamental and consequential {{w|Pauli exclusion principle}}. That principle gives atoms and molecules (which are almost entirely empty space with any identifiable particles being the smallest of points distributed throughout the respective spaces) the properties of being physically substantive, allowing us to hold things, walk, make sound waves with our voices and everything else that we do corporeally. This may be considered a rather basic preequisite to landing a 900, though it naturally also needs one to be a sufficiently skilled skateboarder.

==Transcript==
:[Tony Hawk (drawn with short hair) is gesturing at a narrow whiteboard on which illegible things are marked, what may be a Feynman diagram with one of the particle/antiparticle pair going into a circle (possibly representing a black hole, and thus depicting the popularized (incorrect) analogy for {{w|Hawking radiation}}), and at the bottom, a 2x3 table of illegible values.]
:Tony Hawk: In the standard model, regular matter will annihilate if it comes in contact with oppositely-charged ''goofy'' matter.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Tony Hawk becomes a physics professor

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Skateboard]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Statistics]]

2965: Chili Tornado Quake

2024-07-30T10:32:39Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2965
| date = July 29, 2024
| title = Chili Tornado Quake
| image = chili_tornado_quake_2x.png
| imagesize = 302x252px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Buildings constructed from softer materials were damaged by chili pepper impacts to the storm's high Richter-Fujita-Scoville-Mohs hardness rating.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a SCALED GHOST PEPPER - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
[[Cueball]], as a [[:Category:News anchor|news anchor]], is reporting from a tornado that struck a chill pepper processing plant during an Earthquake.


Cueball rates the event as 55,000 on the Richter-Fujita-Scoville scale. The {{w|Richter scale}} is a historic (but still well known) scale for rating the intensity of {{w|earthquakes}} and (usually) ranges from 1 to 10. The {{w|Fujita scale}} is a scale for rating the intensity of {{w|tornadoes}} and ranges from 0 to 5. The {{w|Scoville scale}} is a scale for the spiciness of {{w|chili peppers}} and can go from 0 (not at all spicy) all the way up into the millions.

Most likely the three numbers are multiplied. Given the image this is not a 5 on the tornado scale. Also since the building is still there it is not a 9 on the Richter scale. So at worst it would be 4x8 for those two. This would then leave the rest for the Scoville scale, which would give around 1700 on that scale as a minimum. The other two numbers could easily be smaller so that the Scoville number would be reaching above 3000.

As with the recent [[2950: Situation]], and occasional other comics, [[Randall]] has contrived an incident that combines multiple scenarios into an improbable whole. In this case, the purpose is to give a value to the scale of the disaster based (in some undefined way) upon the combination of the various scales that might be used to measure the individual elements.

In the title text it is mentioned that buildings constructed from softer materials were damaged by chili pepper impacts to the storm's high Richter-Fujita-Scoville-Mohs hardness rating. The {{w|Mohs scale}} is a scale for mineral hardness ranging from 1-10, with lower numbers being softer and higher numbers being harder. Chili peppers are strong in a spicy sense, but very soft on the Mohs scale, so if it was only the chilies that hit other buildings it would only be very very soft material that would take any damage. Of course there would also be building material hitting nearby houses, thus they would do more damage than the chili. A number, where the hardness of the materials hitting nearby buildings was taken into consideration, could have been giving, adding a fourth number to consider in the title text mentioned scale. But no number is given in the title text.

The comic [[1531: The BDLPSWDKS Effect]] also dealt with a hybrid multi-disciplinary amalgum of measurements.

==Transcript==
:[Close-up of Cueball, a news anchor, next to an image with a headline above it to the left of him. The image shows of black tornado descending from sky-cover above. It is striking a building that has been damaged near where the tornado hits. Two large chilies can be seen flying through the air in the foreground, with pieces of the building and more chilies flying off further away. Straight beneath the building and going up in the middle of it there is a crack, that divides into three inside the building. The ground is also higher to the right of the point where the crack enters the building. Cueball is speaking which is shown above the image and him.]
:Headline: Breaking news
:Cueball: A tornado that struck a chili pepper processing plant during an earthquake was rated 55,000 on the Richter-Fujita-Scoville scale.

==Trivia==
*It seems the title is missing the word "due":
**"Buildings constructed from softer materials were damaged by chili pepper impacts '''due''' to the storm's high Richter-Fujita-Scoville-Mohs hardness rating."

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:News anchor]]
[[Category:Tornadoes]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Earthquakes]]

2964: Olympic Sports

2024-07-29T08:06:28Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2964
| date = July 26, 2024
| title = Olympic Sports
| image = olympic_sports_2x.png
| imagesize = 553x328px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Thankfully for everyone involved, the Winter Olympics officials spotted me and managed to stop me before I got to the ski jump.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by A VERY CONCERNED OLYMPIC OFFICIAL - Provide an explanation of each sport for the convenience of those unfamiliar with some or all listed sports. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic was officially published on the day of the opening ceremony of the {{w|2024 Summer Olympics|2024 Paris (Summer) Olympics}}, though it actually appeared early the following day.

In this comic, [[Randall]], who has no athletic training, imagines himself participating in various Olympic events, with his degrees of failure measured in terms of their humor potential.

{| class="wikitable"
|+ Olympic sports ranked by how funny it would be if a regular person competed
! How funny !! Sport !! Reason !! Depiction
|-
|rowspan=5| Not that funny || {{w|Rowing}} - One or more people row a boat to a destination.|| The person would struggle to row effectively, falling out of cadence and fouling the oars of the other rowers in their boat. ||
|-
| {{w|Fencing}} - Two contestants attempt to land hits on each other with a long fencing weapon.|| They might fail to land any hits, but it wouldn't be overly humorous. ||
|-
| {{w|Weightlifting}} || They might just fail to lift the weights. ||
|-
| {{w|Golf}} - Contestants attempt to hit, with golf clubs, a golf ball into one or more holes in as small a number of hits as possible.|| They would likely miss the ball or hit poorly. || The illustration depicts Randall missing the hole at very close range.
|-
| {{w|Archery}} - Using a bow and arrow, contestants attempt to hit a target with as much accuracy as possible.|| Arrows might miss the target, but it's not particularly amusing. || Randall misses all his shots on the target.
|-
|rowspan=5| Pretty funny || {{w|Swimming}} - Contestants swim to a destination or complete lengths as fast as possible.|| They might struggle to stay afloat or [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Moussambani swim awkwardly]. ||
|-
| {{w|Long jump}} - Contestants, with a running start, attempt to jump as far as possible.|| They would likely make a very short jump. ||
|-
| {{w|Pole vault}} - Using a bendable pole, contestants attempt to propel (vault) themselves over a bar.|| They would miss the plant and end up dropping the pole and running under the bar. ||
|-
| {{w|Diving}} - Contestants attempt to fulfil multiple criteria while diving into water.|| Awkward or painful-looking dives could ensue. ||
|-
| {{w|Hurdles}} - Contestants run on a track with hurdles positioned at various places.|| They might trip and fall over the hurdles. || Randall repeatedly and painfully runs into the hurdles, unable to jump over any of them. He appears to be holding a hand on his head, possibly covering his eyes or due to having hurt his head.
|-
|rowspan=5| Incredibly funny || {{w|Figure skating}} || They might slip and fall continually on the ice. ||
|-
| {{w|Horizontal bar}} - A horizontal bar is used to perform gymnastics.|| They might fail to perform any flips or fall off the bar. ||
|-
| {{w|Equestrian sports}} - Various activities involving the use of horses.|| They might struggle to control the horse or fall off. || Randall is completely unable to control his horse. He is in the process of falling off and is flailing his arms.
|-
| {{w|Freestyle BMX}} - Contestants ride BMX bikes and perform various tricks, and are then judged by trick quality.|| They might crash or fail to perform tricks. ||
|-
| {{w|Pommel horse}} - Using a gymnastic device somewhat similar to a horse, gymnasts perform various tricks.|| They might awkwardly flop around or fall off. || Randall is attempting to perform a routine but clearly is not very graceful, balanced or typically dynamic, as made apparent by the rather basic agitrons surrounding him.
|}

The title text may be a reference to ski jumper {{w|Vinko Bogataj}}, whose spectacular crash at a (non-Olympic) ski flying event in 1970 in Oberstdorf, (then) West Germany became emblematic of the expression "the agony of defeat" in the opening narration of the popular US television program "{{w|Wide World of Sports (American TV program)|Wide World of Sports}}". Alternatively the reference may be to {{w|Eddie the Eagle}}, whose poor performance at the {{w|1988 Winter Olympics}} led to the introduction of the top 50 or 30% qualifying rule.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Header above three panels:]
:Olympic Sports ranked by how funny it would be if I, a regular person without athletic training, snuck onto the team to compete:
:[Three panels are shown with a header, a bullet list with five listed sports in each, and one or two depictions of sports.]

:Not that funny
:Rowing
:Fencing
:Weightlifting
:Golf
:Archery
:[Cueball putts a ball with a golf club and misses the hole.]
:[Cueball is aiming with a bow. Three arrows are on the ground at various distances from the target.]

:Pretty funny
:Swimming
:Long jump
:Pole vault
:Diving
:Hurdles
:[Cueball runs stomach-first into a hurdle, while holding a hand on his head. Another hurdle behind him has fallen down.]
:Cueball: [Bonk] Ow! [Bonk] Ow!

:Incredibly funny
:Figure skating
:Horizontal bar
:Equestrian
:BMX freestyle
:Pommel horse
:[Cueball tries to balance himself on a pommel horse. His both hands and one leg are down, while the other leg is slightly raised.]
:Cueball: Look! Look!
:[A horse rider wearing a black helmet is struggling to maintain balance on the running horse, with both hands and one leg raised.]
:Horse rider with black helmet: AAAAA!

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Sport]]

2943: Unsolved Chemistry Problems

2024-06-10T03:49:17Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2943
| date = June 7, 2024
| title = Unsolved Chemistry Problems
| image = unsolved_chemistry_problems_2x.png
| imagesize = 361x386px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I'm an H⁺ denier, in that I refuse to consider loose protons to be real hydrogen, so I personally believe it stands for 'pretend'.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a caffeinated biochemist - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Every field of research has unsolved problems considered "important" or "significant" that motivate continued research. The scientists at what is apparently the "grand opening" of their new chemistry lab list several real chemistry problems, followed by one also-unsolved-but-less-scientific problem (the p in pH)

'''Arbitrary Enzyme Design:'''

{{w|Enzymes}} are catalytic proteins. Enzyme catalysis is often unique in comparison with other catalysis methods as it is highly specific, or tailored to a specific reaction. As such, enzyme catalysis, besides being the basis of all biochemical processes, is becoming increasing relevant to industrial synthesis processes. As enzymes can be easily synthetically produced through recombinant gene technology, being able to design an arbitrary enzyme for any reaction means that effectively any reaction can be relatively easily catalyzed, revolutionizing the chemical synthesis industry.

'''Protein Folding:'''

{{w|Protein|Proteins}} are large molecules that consist of chains of amino acids. These amino acids chains become {{w|Protein Folding|folded}} in extremely complex ways into intricate 3D structures, and the way a protein is folded is of critical importance to its function. Because of the huge importance of proteins to biological life, biologists have devoted significant attention over many decades to the problem of {{w|Protein structure prediction|protein structure prediction}}. This refers to the ability to predict the 3D structure of a protein based on the amino acid sequence, and remains one of the most important problems in computational biology. The ability to predict protein structure purely from amino acid sequence, the so-called "de novo" prediction, is known in computational biology as an unusually difficult problem due to the complexity of amino acid chains. Known as "Levinthal's paradox," the number of possible conformations from the backbone conformations alone is estimated to have in the ballpark of 10^300 different conformations. Despite this, protein folding occurs extremely quickly in reality. Because of this difficulty in sampling conformations, even with optimization, such as secondary structure prediction and Monte Carlo simulation, a "true" accurate simulation is extremely computationally expensive. Because of this, the most accurate solutions, such as AlphaFold, utilize a combination of homology modeling - sampling experimentally determined proteins with similar sequences to infer structural motifs and similarities - and deep learning to accurately guess protein structure.

'''Depolymerization:'''

Polymers are very large molecules formed out of repeating subunits called monomers. Monomers are molecules, typically organic in nature, that can bond with at least 1 other molecule, with chains of 2 or more making long chains or networks called polymers. That process is known as polymerization. Depolymerization is breaking down polymers into the small molecules they were originally made from. This is done through a variety of processes such as using radiation, electrolysis, adding chemicals, and other means. Plastics are the best-known polymers, but cellulose, proteins, and DNA are also technically polymers. The huge number of varieties and mixtures in plastics makes recycling them a huge challenge, and there is increasing concern about plastic waste damaging the environment.

Polymerization is usually exothermic, releasing energy as heat. To reverse this would require adding energy, in a targeted way. Simply ''destroying'' a polymer, by means of highly-reactive chemicals, heat, or radiation, doesn't generally release the monomer molecules to a significant degree; most of the reaction products are highly degraded. Most polymers are made by a process of catalysis, with the small monomer molecules interacting via a catalyst structure, often in liquid form, and the eventual product is usually solid. To reverse this would require getting the catalyst to interact in a very precise way with the solid polymer, and it's relatively difficult for the catalyst structure to get into the proper configuration with the solid tangled polymer molecules.

Another highly-desired depolymerization process would be to convert cellulose into its component glucose molecules. That glucose could then be used for a variety of different purposes, including fermentation to alcohol to use as a fuel. Currently, when plants are grown, much of the solar energy and carbon dioxide they absorb ends up in the form of cellulose rather than as starch, sugar, protein, or other substances that we find useful. Our being able to make use of the cellulose would make farming much more energy-efficient. Some organisms are able to depolymerize cellulose by means of enzymes, but our ability to use similar processes on an industrial scale is still limited. (Those organisms use a complex multi-step biochemical process which essentially "invests" energy into splitting off a glucose molecule, then recoups the investment by metabolizing the glucose.) It's also possible to depolymerize cellulose at high temperature and pressure using nothing more than water and acid, but that process is energy-intensive. It ''might'' be possible to do it with a solar-heated reactor.

'''What the “p” in pH stands for:'''

“p” shows up in pH, pKa, pKb, and other things related to the concentration of H+ ions and OH- ions. The meaning of the "p" in "pH" has been the subject of much dispute. It is sometimes referred to as "power of Hydrogen", but it's not at all clear in English what this means - are we talking about hydrogen fuel cells, or someone's superpower? The connection - which most teachers (original research) do not make - is that this "power" should be understood in the sense of "x to the third power." pH is a logarithmic scale, and the logarithm is the inverse of the exponent, and, in all three languages that pH was first published in, the word for "potency" is used for exponents. The term pH was introduced by {{w|Søren Peter Lauritz Sørensen|Søren Peter Lauritz Sørensen}}, who did not publish his results in English, and more accurately translates as "hydric exponent". The letter p could stand for,in the languages in which Sørensen published: the French 'puissance' , German Potenz, or Danish potens, all referring to the concept of the "exponent" in exponential functions.

'''ρ operator'''

2000 years ago, Romans knew nothing of zero, place-value-notation, nor real numbers. Roman scribes knew integers, integer ratios, and standard oft-used ratios. In modern times, we buy and sell by the pair (pr), dozen (dz), and score (sc). Roman shipping used ρ and ρρ to represent 4/5 and 5/8 sizes. As [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_numerals Ionian numerals] gave way to decimal point use, ρ use became archaic, remaining only in a few fields like music, art, and chemistry.

Over centuries, ρ gradually evolved into a real number operator as log base cube root of 1/2 (musical major third), square root of golden ratio (artistic fractal shape), tenth root of 1/10 (statistical power of effect), or 1/10 (chemical strength). Lacking otherwise infrequently-used greek letter ρ printers began using latin p instead.

'''Title Text: Hydrogen Denier'''

In the title text, Randall claims to be an H+ denier by refusing to consider loose protons to be hydrogen atoms, and as such, the “p” stands for pretend. Part of the joke is Randall's implication that this is a well-known conspiracy theory that he personally buys into (it isn't). The word "denier" is often used as shorthand for other conspiracy theories, such as a "climate change denier" or a "moon landing denier."

Here's a breakdown of this joke:

* H+ is the chemical symbol for a positively-charged atom of hydrogen, the smallest atom on the Periodic Table. Since hydrogen is normally just one proton and one electron, when you take the electron away, you make it positively charged (the + sign in the superscript) and you effectively end up with just a single loose proton. So the shorthand for "loose proton" is to refer to it as an H+ ion.

* pH is taught in high school science class to essentially measure the concentration of extra loose protons in, say, an aquarium. (Different fish prefer slightly different pH levels/alkalinity.) As mentioned earlier, you can interpret the term "pH" to be referring to the "p" of "H" -- the power/potency of H+ ions.

(Note that in reality, lone H+ ions do not exist in water, and instead they glom onto H2O molecules to form H3O+ and H5O2+/(H2O--H--OH2)+. If you don't know what these chemical symbols mean, don't worry about it.)

But as an H+ denier, Randall doesn't consider loose protons to be hydrogen atoms. He has a purist's view of hydrogen, that it is just "pretending" to be hydrogen as soon as it loses an electron. As a denier, he interprets the term "pH" as referring to the concentration of "pretend Hydrogen".

==Transcript==
:[Hairbun stands behind a lectern on a podium speaking into a microphone on the lectern. A Cueball like guy stands to the left and another Cueball like guy and Megan stand to the right. There is a large sign hanging in the background along with some ornaments.]
:Sign: Grand Opening
:Hairbun: Our lab will be working on chemistry's top unsolved problems: arbitrary enzyme design, protein folding, depolymerization, and, of course, the biggest one of all:
:Hairbun: ''Figuring out what the "p" in "pH" stands for.''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Chemistry]]

2910: The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

2024-04-14T08:27:57Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */ Helped third para to make sense.

{{comic
| number = 2910
| date = March 22, 2024
| title = The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
| image = the_wreck_of_the_edmund_fitzgerald_2x.png
| imagesize = 463x672px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = You know that asteroid that almost destroyed Earth in the 90s? Turns out the whole thing was secretly created by Michael Bay, who then PAID Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck to look heroic while blowing it up!
}}

==Explanation==
The comic features [[Cueball]] performing a {{w|narrative song}}, which parodies {{w|Gordon Lightfoot}}'s song '{{w|The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald|The Wreck of the ''Edmund Fitzgerald''}}'. This song, which was one of the most recognizable and successful of Lightfoot's career, recounts the fate of the {{w|SS Edmund Fitzgerald|SS ''Edmund Fitzgerald''}}, a {{w|Great Lakes}} freighter which famously sank during a storm on {{w|Lake Superior}}, resulting in the deaths of the entire crew.

Cueball's song begins with lyrics based on the original song (though heavily modified), but quickly shifts into a (completely fictional) account of Lightfoot deciding to bribe a mechanic to sabotage the ship, implicitly causing the disaster for the purpose of writing a song about it.

In real life, the cause of the ship sinking remains unknown, but it's speculated that the ship's hull broke up in the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIg90sVSwSE rough waters of a storm.] Lightfoot, who wasn't involved with the ship at all, [https://www.thestar.com/news/canada/the-ship-sank-all-over-again-families-of-victims-in-wreck-recall-gordon-lightfoot/article_8cb6b84d-5576-5344-ba20-d5b06e3370d9.html] devoted considerable time, effort and money to the families of the disaster's victims. In addition, while the parody presents Lightfoot as desperate for a career-making song, he was already internationally famous, with multiple hits, when the wreck occurred.

As a punchline, the verse goes on to claim that a greater maritime disaster, the {{w|Sinking of the Titanic|sinking of the RMS ''Titanic''}}, was somehow caused by director {{w|James Cameron}}, implying that he did so in order to make a {{w|Titanic (1997 film)|film about it}}. While the tale of Lightfoot causing the first disaster is theoretically possible (the song came out only a few months after the accident), the second tale clearly is not. The ''Titanic'' sank in 1912, 85 years before the film was made, and over 40 years before Cameron was even born.

The title text continues this particular cycle by suggesting that an even bigger potential disaster was orchestrated {{tvtropes|RecycledInSpace|in space}}, as the real life basis for yet another film, ''{{w|Armageddon (1998 film)|Armageddon}}''.

A YouTuber has turned Randall's text [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGsi9Ry6TsU into a song] in March 2024.

==Transcript==

:[Cueball is holding a guitar and singing on a pier. Two pairs of connected eighth notes are on the left and right of Cueball, as well as a detached eighth note on his right. Three seagulls fly in the background on his left. Four pillars of the pier and the water below it are also shown. Throughout the comic, alternate pairs of lines of the song are indented as indicated below.]
:Cueball:
:The ship was the pride
:of the American side
::It was due to set
::sail for Cleveland
:As the big freighters go,
:it was bigger than most
::With a crew and good
::captain well seasoned

:[Zoom on Cueball facing to his right, still holding the guitar, without the pier, water, and seagulls. A pair of connected eighth notes to his right, a half note and a detached eighth note to his left.]
:Cueball:
:But taking a walk on
:the shore by the dock
::Was a songwriter named
::Gordon Lightfoot
:He was humming a tune
:but it didn't have words
::For it's challenging
::trying to write good

:[Close-up on Cueball's face. A quarter note and a pair of connected eighth notes to his right, a detached eighth note and a quarter note to his left.]
:Cueball:
:Poor Gordon sought glory
:but needed a story
::His career in folk
::music imperiled
:He mulled over this as
:he watched them do work
::On the hull of the
::''Edmund Fitzgerald''

:[Zoom back to second panel. Cueball is now facing to his left. A pair of connected eighth notes to Cueball's right, a separated eighth note and a pair of connected eighth notes to his left.]
:Cueball:
:Perhaps it was wrong,
:what he did for a song
::He should never have
::bribed that mechanic
:But his maritime crimes
:are no worse than the time
::Young James Cameron
::sank the ''Titanic''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Songs]]

2778: Cuisine

2023-09-02T14:55:51Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2778
| date = May 19, 2023
| title = Cuisine
| image = cuisine_2x.png
| imagesize = 200x312px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = My connection to it goes way back, to my early days, when I was just a cloud of primordial hydrogen collapsing in the darkness of space.
}}

==Explanation==

[[Cueball]] is explaining a recipe to [[White Hat]], describing it as {{w|Fusion cuisine}}, typically used to describe a style of cuisine based on combining aspects of the cuisines of two or more cultures{{Citation needed}}, such as a combination of French and Chinese food, or Mexican and Korean food. However, he conflates this with {{w|nuclear fusion}}, combining atomic nuclei to create new kinds of atoms.

The recipe is described as the initiation of {{w|deuterium}} fusion in a kilogram ("four cups") of {{w|heavy water}} and allowing the reaction to continue to its endpoint, {{w|iron}}. The "very high heat" specified in the recipe would start at the four million-plus Kelvin at which {{w|deuterium fusion}} is initiated in stars, and could possibly reach the billions of Kelvin at which {{w|supernova}}s synthesize atoms heavier than iron, such as copper, zinc, selenium and iodine, which are essential in trace quantities for mammals. Unfortunately, heating a saucepan to even four million Kelvin would likely vaporize even the largest of kitchens, and any cooks therein. Most heavier elements are probably created when two Neutron stars spiral into each other (but they are remnants of super nova explosions)

The title text refers to the time before {{w|stellar fusion}}, just after the Big Bang when most matter was hydrogen atoms. See [[2723: Outdated Periodic Table]] for more on what other atoms were present. These primordial hydrogen atoms formed clouds that eventually collapsed into galaxies, forming stars that then created all heavier elements in one way or another. It took a long time but eventually some of these hydrogen atoms created Cueball and everything else on Earth. See [[1123: The Universal Label]]. People often say that an interest of theirs goes back to their "early days", referencing their childhood, but in this case it appears that Cueball's interest goes back to several billions of years before he was born, indicating that it is his atoms that are interested in this cuisine – not himself – as they were the ones around when his interest began. Actually mainly his protons. And it was because of their interest in fusing together that Cueball came to be.

==Transcript==
:[White Hat stands behind Cueball, who is cooking on a stove seen from the side. Cueball has his left hand on the handle of a pot which is on one of the stove's burners. In Cueball's right hand is a small cup.]
:Cueball: Next, we heat four cups of heavy water over '''''very''''' high heat until it thickens and becomes rich in iron.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:I'm getting really into fusion cuisine.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Puns]]

2753: Air Handler

2023-08-22T16:08:06Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2753
| date = March 22, 2023
| title = Air Handler
| image = air_handler_2x.png
| imagesize = 591x228px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = It maintains odor levels in a normal familiar range, so if you open the windows and the air gets too fresh, it filters it through some dirty laundry samples to compensate.
}}

==Explanation==

[[Black Hat]] is demonstrating an air-conditioning unit that covers a wide variety of air qualities, as opposed to a heater that just warms air, a filter that just removes dust or a dehumidifier with the main purpose of removing moisture from the air.

In many devices that manage certain atmospheric conditions in a building using one device, an operational range is usually defined, and not one number. For example, when using a {{w|heat pump}}, if the interior temperature drops below a preset lower limit, then the heating function would be activated. If the interior temperature rises above another preset upper limit, the cooling function would be activated. This kind of ranged function is common with humidifier/dehumidifier units as well, to create a comfortable condition not too dry nor too damp for comfort. By specifying upper and lower limits for the operation of the device in question, minor variations of the controlled value will not cause the device to rapidly turn on and off, even working against itself, improving efficiency and reducing unnecessary wear and tear on the device and the building contents.

Devices that manage temperature and humidity are often installed in buildings to improve occupant comfort. Beyond that, the listed qualities become increasingly problematic and even dangerous.

Changing the pressure of the air could lead to <s>unintended</s> effects like large winds blowing through any cracks in the building.

The air handler also attempts to force the parameters of dust, smoke, odours, and number of bees into an "ideal" range. However, as opposed to being in a certain range, most people who live indoors prefer that these be minimised.{{fact}} It's also worth noting that "a normal amount" of bees varies widely depending on the situation. A typical honeybee colony contains [https://www.science.org.au/curious/earth-environment/honeybee-hive 60,000 to 80,000 bees], and a typical {{w|Swarming_(honey_bee)|swarm}} (bees looking to establish a new hive) is anywhere from [https://www.bee-commerce.com/content/freedownloads/FactsAboutSwarms.pdf 1,500 to 30,000]. To pollinate an acre of fruiting trees typically requires a minimum of [https://treefruit.wsu.edu/orchard-management/pollination/honey-bees/ 20,000 bees], or approximately five bees per square meter.

It is not particularly usual to directly monitor the number of bees in an air-stream (usually, insect-screens are the main way to filter out any pesky creatures that might find themselves likely to be caught up in that way), and one might imagine that the upper limit ''should'' be zero, for use indoors in standard living/working spaces, but it might be technically feasible to accurately count bees (with or without distinguishing from wasps and other flying insects) and be able to allow ''some''. But, unlike temperature or humidity, it would be rare (outside of a location used for agriculture) to have a non-zero ''minimum'' desirable quantity of bees. Even more so to then be directly equipped to upwardly correct the current value. For any minimum value that is not zero, this machine would be equipped to deal with it by, presumably, releasing bees (it seems to have at least one trapped inside it ready to be released, judging by the buzzing sound), or by generating smoke, dust and odours – something one would typically not miss if lacking.

As the title text elaborates, the machine analyses and adjusts the ''freshness'' of the air. A smart system in charge of odour-control (by spraying smell-suppressing chemicals and/or more desirable and dominant scents) could be made less wasteful by only trying to ''freshen'' the air when it detects enough necessity. But, of course, this machine also has an opposing limit. And, when the air is considered ''too'' fresh, it has a way of ''adding'' staleness/stinkiness to meet expectations with dirty laundry.

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat is standing to the right of an "air handler", talking to Cueball and Megan on the left side, probably presenting the sales pitch for the air handler in between them.]
:Black Hat: Our device monitors your home's air and keeps every variable between a lower and upper limit.

:[Zoom in on Black Hat]
:Black Hat: Temperature, humidity, pressure, dust, smoke, odors, number of bees...

:[Zoom out similar to Frame #1]
:Megan: Wait.
:Megan: What's the '''''lower''''' limit for "number of bees"?
:Black Hat: A normal amount.
:Air Handler: ''Bzzzzzz''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Bees]]

2749: Lymphocytes

2023-08-21T07:36:38Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2749
| date = March 13, 2023
| title = Lymphocytes
| image = lymphocytes_2x.png
| imagesize = 651x733px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = It's very hard to detect, but recent studies have determined that when plasma B cells are producing antibodies, they go 'pew pew pew'
}}

==Explanation==
The human body contains many different types of immune cells. This comic is a list of {{w|lymphocyte}}s, a specific type of immune cell that is found in blood and lymph. As the comic goes on, in the style of many "informative" xkcd comics, the descriptions of the names of the cells get more and more removed from reality. Though many of the cells are real, only two descriptions are accurate, those for the plasma B cell and that of the out of context D cell. The diagrams are either uninformingly similar to each other, as an extremely generic diagram of a biological cell, or made to look somewhat like the item spoofed by the description.

The title text is possibly a reference to this recent study: https://pubs.acs.org/doi/10.1021/acsnano.3c00638

{| class="wikitable"
! Name !! Real Lymphocyte? !! Randall's description !! Comment
|-
| {{w|Plasma B cell}}s || Yes || Churn out antibodies || Does as the comic says.
No parody, except for the very vague diagram of a cell with a perinuclear region within it that could also just be a fried egg.
|-
| Naïve B cells || Yes || Try to stop pathogens by asking nicely || {{w|B cell}}s that have not yet been exposed to an antigen. Can only "ask nicely" for pathogens to stop because they cannot yet contribute to the immune system. Cell remains as much just a 'fried egg' as the prior image.
|-
| {{w|Memory B cell}}s || Yes || Very quietly sing {{w|Memory_(Cats_song)|"Memory" from ''Cats''}} at all times || Long-lived B cells that "remember" an antigen they have previously encountered, allowing them to quickly respond to a reappearance of the same antigen.
"Memory" is one of the most famous songs from the 1981 Andrew Lloyd Webber ''{{w|Cats (musical)|Cats}}'' musical, and the otherwise very similar cell appears to be singing notes.
|-
| {{w|Regulatory B cell}}s || Yes || Required by local ordinance || Suppress certain immune responses, or in other words, regulates the immune response, which is their actual namesake, as opposed to the made-up namesake of only being in the body because some regulation requires it.
Cells do follow instructions from DNA, and their environment, which might be considered to be local ordinances. The image is again just another ''slightly'' different version of the generic cell image.
|-
| CD8+ T cells || Yes || Melee combat || {{w|Cytotoxic T cell}}, responsible for killing cells which are cancerous or infected. Named after the surface protein "CD8" ("Cluster of Differentiation") it uses when searching for targets.
Possibly a reference to the tabletop gaming terminology where "d8" means 8-sided dice, "d4" means 4-sided dice, etc. D&D and many of its derivatives use d8s primarily for damage, particularly for some of the most common weapons like rapiers, longswords, and longbows, and also for several spells like Chill Touch or Ray of Frost. The image is again fairly generic without any gross distinction to it.
|-
| CD4+ T cells || Yes || Scream at other cells || {{w|T helper cell}}, releasing cytokines as a signal that prompts the immune system into action, thus "screaming" at other cells. Named after the surface protein "CD4" (see above), that is used for binding to other cells while "screaming".
The generic cell image seems to be shouting "AAAAAAAAA!". Possibly also a reference to the D&D spell "Vicious Mockery" which may involve screaming and does damage based on a "d4" die.
|-
| {{w|Gamma delta T cell|Gamma-Delta T cell}}s || Yes || Unknown / classified || T cells found largely in mucous membranes of the gut, with different T-cell receptors than normal. Effectively the immune system's first line of defense.
The image, this time, has a dashed outer line and a question-mark instead of any nucleus. ''{{w|Delta Force|Delta Force}}'' is a famous military special forces organization involved in classified and not-generally-known operations, and its operatives are unlikely to be identified in publicly available images.
|-
| CDRW+ T cells || No || Rewritable, 700MB || Here, the meaning of "CD" is switched from {{w|Cluster of Differentiation}} to {{w|Compact Disc}}, as in the {{w|CD-RW}} re-writable media format. 700 megabytes is a common size format for CDs.
By skewing the 'cell' diagram into an oval, with concentric central 'nucleus' and adding some subtle radial and concentric lines, it now resembles a typical item of optical media.
|-
| DVD+R T cells || No || Different from DVD-R, though no one is sure how || {{w|DVD+R}} is a DVD format designed by {{w|HP Labs}}, while DVD-R (pronounced "dash R") came originally from {{w|Pioneer Corporation}} and was the earlier accepted system. The two formats are not trivially compatible, but many (re)writing DVD drives were made multiformat to automatically handle both of these, {{w|DVD-RAM}}, read/write versions and CD-density media, as necessary, under the general label of "DVD±RW". The user then ends up not usually needing, or bothering, to know the technical differences.
Another similar representatuon of the prior 'cell', but with a few more lines (to perhaps suggest greater data density) but not functionally different from the prior diagram.
|-
| {{w|Natural killer cell}}s || Yes || Named by the world's coolest immunologist || Kills cells infected by intracellular pathogens and other malfunctioning (e.g. cancerous) cells, similar to CD8+ cells but part of the {{w|innate immune system}}. Randall likes the name of these cells more than the next item, making Rolf Kiessling and Hugh Pross "the world's coolest immunologist(s)."
The cell image is a bit more crinkled at the edge than any prior cell, but otherwise not remarkably distinctive.
|-
| ILC1, ILC2, and ILC3 cells || Yes || Named by a significantly less cool immunologist || {{w|Innate lymphoid cell}}s, regulating the innate immune system through signaling molecules. Named in [https://www.nature.com/articles/nri3365 this paper in Nature] by Hergen Spits, David Artis, Marco Colonna, Andreas Diefenbach, James P. Di Santo, Gerard Eberl, Shigeo Koyasu, Richard M. Locksley, Andrew N. J. McKenzie, Reina E. Mebius, Fiona Powrie and Eric Vivier, making them collectively much less cool than Kiessling and Pross above.
Represented by three small cell-images, snuggling close to each other without touching, and no real reason to assume which of the three is which.
|-
| D cells || No || Larger than C and AA cells, used in old flashlights || This is not a blood cell, but a {{w|D battery|"D cell" battery}}. Much like living organisms, the components of batteries are called {{w|Alkaline battery#Construction|"cells"}} (which forms the basis of Randall's pun) and they can be single-cell or {{w|Nine-volt battery#Technical specifications|multi-cell}}, though the two are often indistinguishable from each other to the casual user. Biological cells called "D cells" or {{w|delta cell}}s ''do'' actually exist, but they are not lymphocytes.

The battery in the comic is drawn as a diagrammatic 'cylinder', the cell edge forming a round-ended rectangle with a faint 'nearside' line to hint at its [[2509: Useful Geometry Formulas|3D nature]]. The 'nucleus' is pushed into one end of the shape, reminiscent of the distinctive 'cap' to {{w|Duracell|some batteries, commonly imitated}}, emphasizing the polarity of the item, but also represents a highly simplified version of how the electrolyte might be placed within the housing.
|}

==Transcript==
:[Title] Lymphocytes
:[Subtitle] And their functions
:[A 4 by 3 grid of frames, each containing the name of the lymphocyte, a visual depiction of the cell and a description]

:[Row 1, Column 1]
:Plasma B cells
:[Egg-like shaped cell with the nucleus right from the middle]
:Churn out antibodies

:[Row 1, Column 2]
:Naïve B cells
:[Almost circular cell with the nucleus in the middle]
:Try to stop pathogens by asking nicely

:[Row 1, Column 3]
:Memory B cells
:[Like panel 2, but with some music notes next to it, as if it produces sound]
:Very quietly sing "memory" from Cats at all times

:[Row 1, Column 4]
:Regulatory B cells
:[Like panel 2]
:Required by local ordinance

:[Row 2, Column 1]
:CD8+ T cells
:[Also oblong, but with the nucleus left from the middle]
:Melee combat

:[Row 2, Column 2]
:CD4+ T cells
:[Circular, with a large nucleus, saying ‘AAAAAAAAA!’]
:Scream at other cells

:[Row 2, Column 3]
:Gamma-Delta T cells
:[Dashed circle with a question mark in the middle]
:Unknown / classified

:[Row 2, Column 4]
:CDRW+ T cells
:[Shaped like a CD, with a large hole in the middle]
:Rewritable, 700MB

:[Row 3, Column 1]
:DVD+R T cells
:[Shaped like a DVD, with a bit smaller hole in the middle]
:Different from DVD-R, though no one is sure how

:[Row 3, Column 2]
:Natural killer cells
:[Irregularly shaped oblong cell with nucleus in the middle]
:Named by the world's coolest immunologist

:[Row 3, Column 3]
:ILC1, ILC2, and ILC3 cells
:[Three cells]
:Named by a significantly less cool immunologist

:[Row 3, Column 4]
:D cells
:[Cylindrical shaped ‘cell’, with a smaller cylindrical ‘nucleus’ inside it at the right, roughly shaped like a D battery]
:Larger than C and AA cells, used in old flashlights

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Science]]

2742: Island Storage

2023-08-18T07:54:02Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2742
| date = February 24, 2023
| title = Island Storage
| image = island_storage_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x435px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I always hate dragging around the larger archipelagos, but I appreciate how the Scandanavian peninsula flexes outward to create a snug pocket for Britain and Ireland.
}}

==Explanation==
This is another world map vandalized{{Citation Needed}} by Randall, similarly to the [[:Category:Bad Map Projections|bad map projection series]]. This time, every major island that is not considered a continent in its own right is relocated into similarly-sized swathes of sea partly enclosed by the outlines of adjacent continents. The caption implies it's Earth's intended "storage mode", where everything 'loose' is neatly packed away. A similar comic is found at [[1784: Bad Map Projection: Liquid Resize]].

The comic thus equates the world to a playroom in which the islands are the equivalent of scattered toys left out after playtime, or an office space where 'polite notices' ask users to replace materials, equipment, etc. in its intended storage, to leave it presentable for the next users. It indicates that the loose islands can be properly stored away in the nooks and crannies of the larger landmasses, possibly so they can be easily located when the next person comes along to play with or use them. The comic title may also be a pun aligned with the design concept of an island kitchen, or possibly other similar room types, in which a central area of worktop may be designed with space for the seating (when not in use) or legs (when people are seated) even amongst the other utensil/equipment storage as required.

Though much of the apparent strange distortions of relocated islands are probably due to the relative changes in length/area/angle across differing parts of the planar-stretched map of the globe (depending upon the {{w|map projection}} being used), Randall is clearly also not averse to distorting the landmasses slightly to fit even the 'immobile' continental masses. He mentions in the title text that he likes to make use of the jutting outcrop of {{w|Scandinavia}} (though misspelled as it was in [[850: World According to Americans]]) by flexing it somewhat like one might do with a spring-clip, thus gripping tightly whatever islands he forces within the gap (in this instance, the British Isles and Svalbard). No-one knows what happened to the Baltic islands of Öland and Gotland though. Maybe the Irish ate them?

On 4 March 2023 the last few words of the title text were changed from ''the British Isles'' to ''Britain and Ireland'' (this [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/06/British_Isles_Euler_Diagram_12.png may or may not] have been strictly necessary).

===Table of islands===
New locations of selected islands that are visible on the map:

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Island(s)
! Original Location
! New Location
|-
| {{w|Kodiak Island}}
| South of mainland Alaska
| {{w|Cook Inlet}}
|-
| {{w|Vancouver Island}}
| West of mainland Canada
| {{w|Salish Sea}}
|-
| {{w|Canadian Arctic Archipelago}}
| North of mainland Canada
| {{w|Hudson Bay}}
|-
| {{w|Newfoundland (Island)|Newfoundland}}, {{w|Prince Edward Island}}, and {{w|Anticosti Island}}
| {{w|Labrador Sea|Off the eastern coast of Canada}}
| {{w|Gulf of St Lawrence}}
|-
| {{w|Greenland}}
| {{w|Greenland Sea|Northeast of Canada}}
| {{w|Gulf of Mexico}}
|-
| {{w|Hispaniola}} and {{w|Cuba}}
| {{w|Caribbean Sea}}
| Gulf of Mexico
|-
| Other Caribbean Islands
| Caribbean Sea
| {{w|Gulf of Venezuela}}
|-
| {{w|Iceland}}
| {{w|Sargasso Sea|Northern Atlantic Ocean}}
| {{w|Gulf of Lion|Coast of southern France}}
|-
| {{w|Great Britain}} and {{w|Ireland}}
| Northwest Europe
| {{w|Baltic Sea}}
|-
| {{w|Svalbard}}
| Far North Atlantic
| {{w|Baltic Sea}}
|-
| {{w|Sardinia}} and {{w|Sicily}}
| {{w|Tyrrhenian Sea|Off western coast of Italy}}
| Coast of Italy
|-
| {{w|Aegean Islands}}
| {{w|Aegean Sea}}
| Coast of Greece
|-
| {{w|New Guinea}}, {{w|Sumatra}}, {{w|Java}}, {{w|Sulawesi}}
| {{w|Solomon Sea}}, {{w|Natuna Sea}}, {{w|Java Sea}}, {{w|Sulawesi Sea}}
| {{w|Mediterranean Sea}}
|-
| {{w|Philippines}}
| {{w|Philippine Sea}}
| {{w|Black Sea}}
|-
| {{w|Novaya Zemlya}}
| {{w|Pechora Sea}}
| {{w|White Sea}}
|-
| {{w|Japan}}, {{w|Sakhalin}}
| {{w|Sea of Japan}}, {{w|Sea of Okhotsk}}
| Sea of Okhotsk
|-
| {{w|Taiwan}}, {{w|Hainan}}
| {{w|South China Sea}}
| {{w|Yellow Sea}}
|-
| {{w|Madagascar}}
| {{w|Mozambique Channel}}
| {{w|Red Sea}}
|-
| {{w|Sri Lanka}}
| {{w|Laccadive Sea}}
| {{w|Persian Gulf}}
|-
| {{w|Borneo}}
| South China Sea
| {{w|Gulf of Thailand}}
|-
| {{w|New Zealand}}, {{w|Tasmania}}
| {{w|Tasman Sea|Off the coast of Australian mainland}}
| {{w|Gulf of Carpentaria}}
|}

==Transcript==
:[A map of Earth with the largest continents in their usual locations, and Antarctica off the map, but all of the major islands have been moved into various bays and seas. See explanation above for further details.]

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Reminder: If you're the last one using the Earth, please put the islands away when you're done.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Maps]]

2738: Omniknot

2023-08-16T07:32:30Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2738
| date = February 15, 2023
| title = Omniknot
| image = omniknot_2x.png
| imagesize = 358x288px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The Gordian knot is an omniknot tied using every bend in the Ashley Book of Knots, and then for extra security the upper rope at every crossing is connected to the lower with a randomly-chosen hitch.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic jokes that if you have several potential {{w|knot}}s which could be tied in a given situation, rather than being forced to choose one, you can simply use all of them and create the comic's "Omniknot." The prefix omni- means "all", and so the "all-knot" is the knot containing all the other knots (...that one knows).

Knots in the middle, from top to bottom:
* {{w|Granny knot}}: A knot that easily comes undone in isolation; usually the result of an improperly tied reef knot. Based upon the visible ends of rope (followed through further knots), could technically be considered a {{w|Grief knot}}.
* {{w|Reef knot}}: Also known as the square knot, one of the most commonly tied by competent amateurs. But a poor and possibly dangerous choice as a load-bearing bend, as it has a tendency to {{w|Knot#Capsizing|'capsize'}} and untie itself, if the ropes aren't inhibited by other adjacent knots. (A "bend" is a knot that connects two ropes or lines.) Could also be described as a {{w|Thief knot}}, from the visible continuation of the 'ends' as followed through other elements of the omniknot.
* {{w|Sheet bend}}: Similar to the bowline, a popular, all-round good choice, especially if one rope is thinner than the other. If well tied, the thinner cord will cross over itself. In this case, that would be the line on the lower-right passing through the left, around it, and then under itself.
* {{w|Double sheet bend}}: A more secure version of the previous knot, especially if one rope is much thinner than the other.
* {{w|Carrick bend}}: A very good bend, especially if both ropes are both similar in kind and thickness and cumbersome to bend (such as heavy cable) into more common knots. 

On the sides are {{w|bowline}}s and each rope is terminated by a {{w|figure-eight knot}}.

The {{w|Gordian Knot}} mentioned in the title text is a knot which purportedly was extraordinarily complex and nearly impossible to untie. According to legend, when Alexander the Great was faced with the knot, he simply drew his sword and cut it in half, thereby "untying" it and solving the unsolvable. The Gordian Knot is now used as a linguistic metaphor to describe a problem whose solution, rather than being to directly solve it head-on, involves working around or otherwise bypassing its apparent constraints, or simply one that is so complex as to be practically intractable.

{{w|The Ashley Book of Knots}} is an encyclopedia describing thousands of different knots. Though it is now dated, because it was written before the widespread adoption of synthetic fiber rope, it is still considered the reference in knot tying. Using all bends from the book and as many hitches would make the final result very complex indeed. Randall proposes here that this was the true origin of the mythical Gordian Knot. A "hitch" is a knot that connects a rope or line to something like a post, loop, or shackle.

In practice, it is not recommended to use overly complex knots, as they provide little in terms of additional security compared to a well-chosen simpler knot. The ease of tying and untying, especially in less than ideal conditions, is also an important factor to consider. If strength is more important than the ease of tying and untying, {{w|Rope splicing|splices}} should be considered instead of knots, as they don't weaken the rope as much.

Twitter user HollowGrin created and shared a [https://twitter.com/hollowgrin/status/1625902852387352576 colorized version] to aid tracking the ropes.

==Transcript==
:[Two ropes tied together with several different kinds of knots. The ropes enter from left and right. The left rope proceeds to go up where the right rope goes down. But then they interact to form five knots in the middle of the drawing. Following each rope will show the left to interweave the right rope from top to bottom, and vice versa. At the bottom the left rope swings back to where it began going up, ties a knot with itself at the start and the end of the left rope then goes to the right of this knot and ends in another small knot. Similarly the right rope goes back to the right at the top and forms a similar knot with itself, before the end of the rope goes left and ends in the same type of small knot as the left rope. There are thus five knots using both ropes, and two knots on each rope with itself, and the entire thing is yet another combined titular Omniknot, for ten knots in total. There is a caption below the panel:]
:If you know several knots and can't figure out which one to use, just tie one of each.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Fiction]]

2738: Omniknot

2023-08-16T07:30:12Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2738
| date = February 15, 2023
| title = Omniknot
| image = omniknot_2x.png
| imagesize = 358x288px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The Gordian knot is an omniknot tied using every bend in the Ashley Book of Knots, and then for extra security the upper rope at every crossing is connected to the lower with a randomly-chosen hitch.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic jokes that if you have several potential {{w|knot}}s which could be tied in a given situation, rather than being forced to choose one, you can simply use all of them and create the comic's "Omniknot." The prefix omni- means "all", and so the "all-knot" is the knot containing all the other knots (...that one knows).

Knots in the middle, from top to bottom:
* {{w|Granny knot}}: A knot that easily comes undone in isolation; usually the result of an improperly tied reef knot. Based upon the visible ends of rope (followed through further knots), could technically be considered a {{w|Grief knot}}.
* {{w|Reef knot}}: Also known as the square knot, one of the most commonly tied by competent amateurs. But a poor and possibly dangerous choice as a load-bearing bend, as it has a tendency to {{w|Knot#Capsizing|'capsize'}} and untie itself, if the ropes aren't inhibited by other adjacent knots. (A "bend" is a knot that connects two ropes or lines.) Could also be described as a {{w|Thief knot}}, from the visible continuation of the 'ends' as followed through other elements of the omniknot.
* {{w|Sheet bend}}: Similar to the bowline, a popular, all-round good choice, especially if one rope is thinner than the other. If well tied, the thinner cord will cross over itself. In this case, that would be the line on the lower-right passing through the left, around it, and then under itself.
* {{w|Double sheet bend}}: A more secure version of the previous knot, especially if one rope is much thinner than the other.
* {{w|Carrick bend}}: A very good bend, especially if both ropes are both similar in kind and thickness and cumbersome to bend (such as heavy cable) into more common knots. 

On the sides are {{w|bowline}}s and each rope is terminated by a {{w|figure-eight knot}}.

The {{w|Gordian Knot}} mentioned in the title text is a knot which purportedly was extraordinarily complex and nearly impossible to untie. According to legend, when Alexander the Great was faced with the knot, he simply drew his sword and cut it in half, thereby "untying" it and solving the unsolvable. The Gordian Knot is now used as a linguistic metaphor to describe a problem whose solution, rather than being to directly solve it head-on, involves working around or otherwise bypassing its apparent constraints, or simply one that is so complex as to be practically intractable.

{{w|The Ashley Book of Knots}} is an encyclopedia describing thousands of different knots. Though it is now dated, because it was written before the widespread adoption of synthetic fiber rope, it is still considered the reference in knot tying. Using all bends from the book and as many hitches would make the final result very complex indeed. Randall proposes here that this was the true origin of the mythical Gordian Knot. A "hitch" is a knot that connects a rope or line to something like a post, loop, or shackle.

In practice, it is not recommended to use overly complex knots, as they provide little in terms of additional security compared to a simpler, well-chosen knot. The ease of tying and untying, especially in less than ideal conditions, is also an important factor to consider. If strength is more important than the ease of tying and untying, {{w|Rope splicing|splices}} should be considered instead of knots, as they don't weaken the rope as much.

Twitter user HollowGrin created and shared a [https://twitter.com/hollowgrin/status/1625902852387352576 colorized version] to aid tracking the ropes.

==Transcript==
:[Two ropes tied together with several different kinds of knots. The ropes enter from left and right. The left rope proceeds to go up where the right rope goes down. But then they interact to form five knots in the middle of the drawing. Following each rope will show the left to interweave the right rope from top to bottom, and vice versa. At the bottom the left rope swings back to where it began going up, ties a knot with itself at the start and the end of the left rope then goes to the right of this knot and ends in another small knot. Similarly the right rope goes back to the right at the top and forms a similar knot with itself, before the end of the rope goes left and ends in the same type of small knot as the left rope. There are thus five knots using both ropes, and two knots on each rope with itself, and the entire thing is yet another combined titular Omniknot, for ten knots in total. There is a caption below the panel:]
:If you know several knots and can't figure out which one to use, just tie one of each.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Fiction]]

2636: What If? 2 Countdown

2023-07-23T12:02:56Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */ General improvement of spelling, spacing and grammar

<noinclude>:''For other instances of this title, see [[What If (disambiguation)]]</noinclude>.
{{comic
| number = 2636
| date = June 22, 2022
| title = What If? 2 Countdown
| image = what_if_2_countdown.png
| titletext = If you don't end the 99 Bottles of Beer recursion at N=0 it just becomes The Other Song That Never Ends.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic takes the idea of {{w|advent calendar}}s to the extreme. It uses absurd and obscure ways to measure the amount of time until [[Randall]]'s new book [https://xkcd.com/whatif2 ''What if? 2''] is released, with esoteric units and esoteric numbers. See explanation of each day in the [[#Table of the calendar countdown|table below]]. Some concepts that appear multiple times throughout the calendar are:

* '''{{w|SI prefixes}}''', which can be applied to the beginning of a unit's name to multiply or divide the unit by powers of 10 or 1,000. This is standard for units like meters and grams, but is rarely applied to measurements of time other than when a unit of less than one second is needed, most commonly in various fields of science and engineering such as physics and electronics.
* The '''{{w|Gettysburg Address}}''', a famous speech delivered by U.S. president Abraham Lincoln in 1863, where he began by referring to the signing of the Declaration of Independence taking place "four score and seven years ago". A score is a dated term for the number 20, so "four score and seven" is equivalent to 87.
* A '''dog year''' is traditionally considered to be one-seventh the length of a normal human year, since a dog's overall lifespan is roughly one-seventh of a typical human's. The comic applies this to other units of time, such as minutes and months, each of which is also one-seventh the length of the standard unit. The number 7 (traditionally a "lucky number") is also used in many of the numbers quoted in the calendar.
* Other comparative durations of time that are not normally or usefully applied to day-length multiples. At the top end, there is the age of the universe, at the other there is {{w|Planck units#Planck time|Planck-time}} – with entire durations of periods of human history and the time needed to watch popular TV/film franchises in-between – most of which require a non-trivial multiplier or divisor to bring them to the necessary scale required.
* A '''{{w|baker's dozen}}''' is 13, or one more than a normal dozen. Here, the "baker's" prefix can be applied to any unit by adding an extra one of its constituent parts, like an extra hour added to a day.
* '''{{w|Irrational numbers}}''' like {{w|pi}} (3.14159...), {{w|Euler's number}} or ''e'' (2.71828...), the {{w|golden ratio}} (1.61803...), and the {{w|square root of 2}} (1.41421...). These are all interesting numbers because of their mathematical properties, but very impractical to use as arbitrary measurements of time because they have an endless series of non-repeating decimal digits.
* The teenage dating game '''{{w|Seven minutes in heaven}}'''.
* Rotational and orbital periods of various bodies in the Solar System.
* Finally the song {{w|99 Bottles of Beer}} is also used twice in the calendar, as the one after a full week and then for the final day before release.

The title text refers to the recursive time period on the final day before release, September 12, where the 99 Bottles of Beer song is sung 99 times, but with one less verse every time (so 99 verses the first time, 98 verses the second, 97, 96 ... 2 and 1 the last). If you don't stop when you reach N=0 bottles, the repetition never ends, so that time interval becomes infinite. He then calls it "The Other Song That Never Ends", comparing it to ''{{w|The Song That Never Ends}}''. That song is a repetitive children's song, which is specifically intended to go on forever. The difference is that the Beer song has a natural stopping point at 0, while ''The Song That Never Ends'' is [https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiEz97RkZT5AhXpk4sKHRs8C2wQyCl6BAgLEAM&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dxz6OGVCdov8&usg=AOvVaw2dI8Q_thXRfS6MUtq1NerU completely repetitive].

===Table of the calendar countdown===
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Days left !! Date !! Duration specified !! Duration in days !! Explanation
|-
| 83 || Jun 22 || πe millidecades || 82.03 days || π ≈ 3.14159, ''e'' ≈ 2.718, so πe is about 22.459. A millidecade is 1/1,000 decade, or 1/100 year, or 3.652425 days. Multiplying these results is 82.03 days.
|-
| 82 || Jun 23 || 7 megaseconds || 81.02 days || 7,000,000 seconds. 60*60*24 = 86,400 seconds in a day, so 7,000,000/86,400 ≈ 81.02 days
|-
| 81 || Jun 24 || ''e'' lunar months || 80.27 days || A lunar month ≈ 29.53059 days, ''e'' ≈ 2.718, so 29.53059*2.718 ≈ 80.26 days.
|-
| 80 || Jun 25 || 60 rotations of Foucault's pendulum in Paris || 79.5 days || {{w|Foucault's pendulum}} demonstrates Earth's revolution, with the one at the latitude of Paris completing a full rotation every 31.8 hours.
|-
| 79 || Jun 26 || 8 milligenerations || 78.89 days || A generation is in general 22-33 years, with a reasonable mid-point of 27; and 8 x 0.001 (milli) x 365.2425 (accounting for leap years) x 27 ≈ 78.89 days
|-
| 78 || Jun 27 || 777,777 dog minutes || 77.16 days || A popular myth is that dogs age seven times faster than humans, so one dog minute equals 1/7 human minutes.
|-
| 77 || Jun 28 || 7! episodes of ''Jeopardy!'' (skipping ads) || 77+ days || 7! = 7x6x5x4x3x2x1 = 5040. The standard episode of ''Jeopardy'' is 22-26 minutes, skipping ads. At 22 minutes each the total is 110,880 minutes, or exactly 77 days.
|-
| 76 || Jun 29 || 5,000 repeats of ''99 Bottles of Beer'' || 76.39 days || Each verse of {{w|99 Bottles of Beer}} is "''N'' bottles of beer on the wall, ''N'' bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, ''N-1'' bottles of beer on the wall." The entire song contains 99 verses. Randall apparently sings this rather slowly at around 72 bpm, taking about 13 seconds per verse. It can be done somewhat faster as [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FITjBet3dio shown here], where the 99 verses take less than 17.5 minutes for 10.6 second per verse. Then it would only take two months, or 61 days – 15 days too few.
|-
| 75 || Jun 30 || 5 baker's fortnights || 75 days || A {{w|baker's dozen}} is a dozen (12) plus one extra item. Randall has generalized this to adding one to any unit. A fortnight is 14 days (or more properly "{{w|Fortnight|fourteen ''nights''}}", by its original use), so a baker's fortnight is 15 days. 5x15 is 75 days.
|-
| 74 || Jul 1 || √2 dog years || 73.79 days || See day 78 (Jun 27). 1.4142 × (365 / 7)
|-
| 73 || Jul 2 || π millivics (1/1000th of Queen Victoria's reign) || 72.97 days || {{w|Queen Victoria}} ruled between 20 June 1837 and 22 January 1901 (23,226 days). 3.14159 × 23.226
|-
| 72 || Jul 3 || 42 drives from NYC to LA (Google Maps estimate) || 71.75 days || According to Google Maps, the drive from New York City to Los Angeles via I-80 W (2789 miles or 4489 km) takes 41 hours.
|-
| 71 || Jul 4 || 1,000 viewings of ''Groundhog Day''|| 70.14 days || Using {{w|Groundhog Day (film)|Groundhog Day's}} 101-minute run time.
|-
| 70 || Jul 5 || 100,000 minutes || 69.44 days || 1,440 minutes per day
|-
| 69 || Jul 6 || 1/10th of Martian year || 68.70 Earth days || Martian sidereal and tropical years both round to 687.0 Earth days
|-
| 68 || Jul 7 || 1,234,567 sound-miles || 67.63 days || The speed of sound in air depends on the temperature. 15°C or 59°F gives the value 340 m/s and the travel time of 67.6349058 days.
|-
| 67 || Jul 8 || 2πe seconds || 66.74 days || 2^(π^e) = 5,766,073 seconds. The order of operations for multiple exponentiation without parentheses is top-first.
|-
| 66 || Jul 9 || 216 beats (Swatch Internet Time) || 65.54 days || A "{{w|.beat}}" is equal to 1/1,000 day.
|-
| 65 || Jul 10 || 1,000 ISS orbits || 64.58 days || Each orbit of the ISS takes 90-93 minutes. Here a value of 93 minutes is used.
|-
| 64 || Jul 11 || 🎵🎶🎵 Five hundred twenty five thousand (base seven) minutes|| 62.88 days || This refers to {{w|radix}}-7 arithmetic: 525,0007 minutes = 90,55210 minutes (5 × 7^5 + 2 × 7^4 + 5 × 7^3). Also references the opening and recurring line "Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes" from {{w|Seasons of Love}}, a song from the musical {{w|Rent (musical)|''Rent''}}, which is also referenced in [[1047: Approximations]]. "Base seven" has the same rhythm as "six hundred".
|-
| 63 || Jul 12 || 1050 Planck times || 62.38 days || 10^50 x 5.39 x 10^-44 seconds. The powers of 10 can be simplified, thus 5.39 × 10^6
|-
| 62 || Jul 13 || 4,000 episodes of ''The Office'' (skipping ads)|| 61.11 days || {{w|The Office (British TV series)|''The Office''}} was originally a {{w|BBC}} television show which had no commercial breaks, so Randall must be referring to the later {{w|The Office (American TV series)|US version}}, which is logical as he's American. This US "half-hour" comedy format contains 22 minutes of content (including the title sequence) and eight minutes of ads. There are only 201 distinct episodes of the US version, so watching 4,000 episodes would require a lot of re-watching. 
|-
| 61 || Jul 14 || Four score and seven kilominutes || 60.42 days || 87 x 1,000 minutes
|-
| 60 || Jul 15 || 2 lunar months || 59.06 days || There are a number of different ways to define the {{w|lunar month}}. The most common is the synodic month, because it relates to the phases of the moon, and it's approximately 29.53 days.
|-
| 59 || Jul 16 || Half a day on Venus || 58.38 Earth days || A Venus synodic day is 116 days 18 hours.
|-
| 58 || Jul 17 || 5 megaseconds || 57.87 days || 5,000,000 seconds
|-
| 57 || Jul 18 || 30 microLits (1/1,000,000th of the time since the invention of literature) || 57.21 days || 3200 BCE is the approximate date of pre-Sumerian proto-writing as given in {{w|History of writing|Wikipedia's article on the history of writing}}. 5,222 years × 30 × 10-6.
|-
| 56 || Jul 19 || 1,000 viewings of ''Run Lola Run'' || 55.57 days || Using {{w|Run Lola Run|the movie's}} run time of 80 minutes.
|-
| 55 || Jul 20 || One million sound-miles || 54.78 days || The speed of sound in air depends on the temperature. 15 °C or 59 °F gives the value 340 m/s and the travel time of 54.7843137 days.
|-
| 54 || Jul 21 || 30 Ionian months || 53.07 Earth days || Orbital period of Io around Jupiter is approximately 1.77 days.
|-
| 53 || Jul 22 || One dog year || 52.18 days || See day 78 (Jun 27). 365.2425 / 7
|-
| 52 || Jul 23 || 60 viewings of ''Star Wars Episodes I-IX'' || 51.75 days || According to [https://dorksideoftheforce.com/2021/05/04/how-long-to-watch-every-star-wars-movie/ Fansided] the combined running times are 20 hours 42 minutes.
|-
| 51 || Jul 24 || 1/100,000,000,000th of the universe's age || 50.40 days || The universe is estimated to be about 13.8 billion years old.
|-
| 50 || Jul 25 || 5 milli-generations || 49.3 days || See day 79 (Jun 26). 5 × (27 × 365.2425) / 1,000
|-
| 49 || Jul 26 || 10,000 games of ''7 minutes in Heaven'' or seven games of ''10,000 minutes in Heaven'' || 48.61 days || {{w|Seven minutes in heaven}} is an Anglo-culture teenager game, occuring in several movies. 10,000 minutes in Heaven is almost a week of making out (or doing whatever) in a closet, so this game is unlikely.{{citation needed}}
|-
| 48 || Jul 27 || φeπ minutes || 47.41 days || Phi (the golden ratio) to the power of e to the power of pi. 1.618 ^ (2.718 ^ 3.14159) = 68,284.14 minutes
|-
| 47 || Jul 28 || 4 megaseconds || 46.30 days || 4,000,000 seconds
|-
| 46 || Jul 29 || 216 minutes || 45.51 days || 65,536 minutes
|-
| 45 || Jul 30 || eee seconds || 44.15 days || 3,814,279.10 seconds
|-
| 44 || Jul 31 || π fortnights|| 43.98 days || 3.14159 x 14 days
|-
| 43 || Aug 1 || One devil's spacewalk (666 orbits of the ISS) || 43.01 days || See day 65 (Jul 10). 666 is the {{w|number of the beast}}. 666 × 93 minutes.
|-
| 42 || Aug 2 || 1 kilowatt-hour per watt || 41.66 days || 1,000 hours
|-
| 41 || Aug 3 || eπ Ionian months || 40.93 Earth days || Orbital period of Io around Jupiter is 1.769137786 days. 2.718 ^ 3.14159 × 1.769
|-
| 40 || Aug 4 || 30 rotations of Foucault's pendulum in Paris || 39.75 days || Refer to Day 80 (Jun 25). Half of that day's 79.5 days, 30 × 31.8 hours 
|-
| 39 || Aug 5 || ''e'' fortnights || 38.06 days ||2.71828 x 14 days
|-
| 38 || Aug 6 || ππ baker's days (25 hours) || 37.98 days || See day 75 (Jun 30). 3.14159 ^ 3.14159 × 25 
|-
| 37 || Aug 7 || One deciyear || 36.52 days || One tenth of one year
|-
| 36 || Aug 8 || 7! milliweeks || 35.28 days || 5,040 × 0.001 weeks
|-
| 35 || Aug 9 || 100,000 plays of the ''Jeopardy!'' "Think" music || 34.72 days || ''Think'' is the music played while the contestants try to answer the Final Jeopardy question; it is 30 seconds long. 30 × 100,000 seconds
|-
| 34 || Aug 10 || 1000 basketball games (game time) || 33.33 days || Uses the NBA game time of four 12-minute quarters, or 48 minutes
|-
| 33 || Aug 11 || 777 hours || 32.38 days || 24 hours per day
|-
| 32 || Aug 12 || One millilincoln (1/1000 of fourscore and seven years) || 31.78 days || {{w|Abraham Lincoln}}'s {{w|Gettysburg Address}} begins with the famous phrase "Four score and seven years ago". 1 score = twenty. 
|-
| 31 || Aug 13 || 1,000 episodes of ''60 Minutes'' (skipping ads) || 30.56 days || A television hour is between 42 and 44 minutes, with the remaining time used by ads. This uses a television 'hour' containing 44 minutes of content and 16 minutes of ads.
|-
| 30 || Aug 14 || All of ''Star Trek'', consecutively || 28.55 days || According to [https://www.cbr.com/star-trek-every-tv-episode-movie/ CBR]  of January 21, 2021, this consists of: 

:3,950 minutes of The Original Series
:528 minutes of The Animated Series
:7,832 minutes of The Next Generation
:7,920 minutes of Deep Space 9
:7,740 minutes of Voyager
:4,116 minutes of Enterprise
:250 minutes of Lower Decks, Season 1
:4,725 minutes of Discovery, the first 3 seasons
:450 minutes of Picard, Season 1
:150 minutes of Short Treks
:688 minutes of The Original Series films
:448 minutes of The Next Generation films
:381 minutes of the three rebooted universe films

In the year and a half since publishing that article, there have been:
:250 minutes of Lower Decks, Season 2
:585 minutes of Discovery, Season 4
:450 minutes of Picard, Season 2
:237 minutes of Prodigy, the first half of Season 1
:411 minutes of Strange New Worlds, up to and including June 23, the day after this comic (8 out of 10 episodes of Season 1)

The last two episodes of Strange New Worlds, taking the franchise until July 7, would add roughly 0.035 of a day each, a negligible difference.
|-
| 29 || Aug 15 || 777,777 nanocenturies || 28.41 days || 777,777 × 10-9 × 100 years.
|-
| 28 || Aug 16 || One sidereal lunar month || 27.3 days || The time it takes moon to return to the same position relative to the fixed stars
|-
| 27 || Aug 17 || 6 dog months || 26.14 days || See day 78 (Jun 27). A month averaging 30.5 days / 7
|-
| 26 || Aug 18 || ππ kilominutes || 25.32 days || 36,462.16 minutes
|-
| 25 || Aug 19 || 7 games of 7! minutes in Heaven || 24.5 days || 7 x 5040 (7 {{w|factorial}}) minutes. See also day 49 (Jul 26).
|-
| 24 || Aug 20 || 50 viewings of the extended ''Lord of the Rings'' trilogy || 23.82 days || ''The Fellowship of the Ring'' extended version is 208 minutes, ''The Two Towers'' is 226 minutes, and ''The Return of the King'' is 252 minutes for its extended version, according to [https://fictionhorizon.com/how-long-are-all-the-lord-of-the-rings-and-the-hobbit-movies-combined/ FictionHorizon.com]
|-
| 23 || Aug 21 || A drive from NYC to LA where you keep remembering new things you forgot and have to go back 6 times || 22.21 days || See day 72 (Jul 3). This is for 6 round-trips and 1 one-way trip, so 13 trips at 41 hours each.
|-
| 22 || Aug 22 || ''It's a Small World'' sung at 1/10,000th speed || 21.06 days || {{w|It's a Small World}} is a song that was composed for the attraction of the same name at various {{w|Disney}} theme parks, and plays continuously at them in various languages. The song lasts 12–15 minutes, depending on the language. However, Randall seems to be using a single iteration of the song, such as this [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxRW-duSCLA YouTube video] of 3:02, posted by Disney themselves. As such, it's 3:02 × 10,000.
|-
| 21 || Aug 23 || 500 hours || 20.83 days || 24 hours per day, or 0.041678 days per hour
|-
| 20 || Aug 24 || √2 fortnights || 19.80 days || 1.4142 × 14 days
|-
| 19 || Aug 25 || Time it would take Vanessa Carlton to walk 1,000 miles || 18.94 days || {{w|Vanessa Carlton}} is an American singer, and {{w|A Thousand Miles}} is her most successful song. Randall estimates her walking speed at about 2.2 miles/hour. 
|-
| 18 || Aug 26 || 100,000 breaths || 17.36* days || The normal respiratory rate for adults is typically 12-20 breaths per minute, or about 3-5 seconds each. *However, the day length here is for 15 seconds/breath, so Randall may be a practitioner of [https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2018.00353/full slow breathing].
|-
| 17 || Aug 27 || √2 megaseconds || 16.37 days || 1.4142 × 1,000,000 seconds
|-
| 16 || Aug 28 || πππ πcoseconds || 15.51 days || 1.3402 × 1018 picoseconds (i.e., 10-12 seconds), making a joke how the mathematical "pi" is written with the character "π" by using it to spell "picoseconds". This is probably related to the fact that the prefix "pico" is often mis-{{citation needed}}-pronounced as "PIE-co" rather than "PICK-o".
|-
| 15 || Aug 29 || One baker's fortnight (15 days) || 15 days || See day 75 (Jun 30)
|-
| 14 || Aug 30 || One baker's dozen (13) baker's days (25 hours) || 13.54 days || 325 hours; see day 75 (Jun 30)
|-
| 13 || Aug 31 || 300 hours || 12.5 days || 0.041678 days per hour
|-
| 12 || Sep 1 || One million seconds || 11.57 days || 86,400 seconds per day
|-
| 11 || Sep 2 || One nonstop bike ride from NYC to LA || 10.54 days || Google maps estimates the trip at 253 hours
|-
| 10 || Sep 3 || 1⁄1,000th of a generation || 9.86 days || See day 79 (Jun 26). A generation being taken as 27 years.
|-
| 9 || Sep 4 || 777,777 seconds || 9.002 days || 1.15741 × 10-5 days per second
|-
| 8 || Sep 5 || 100 viewings of ''Groundhog Day'' || 7.01 days || See Day 71 (Jul 4).
|-
| 7 || Sep 6 || 100 games of ''Lincoln Kissing'' (fourscore and seven minutes in Heaven) || 6.04 days || 8,700 minutes
|-
| 6 || Sep 7 || One pico-universe-lifetime || 5.04 days || See Day 51 (Jul 24). 13.8 billion years, "pico" meaning to divide by 1 trillion, thus 13.8 / 1,000.
|-
| 5 || Sep 8 || The ''Baby Shark'' chorus for a family of 50,000 sharks || 4.63 days || The chorus lasts about 8 seconds per 'person'
|-
| 4 || Sep 9 || One centiyear || 3.65 days || 365.2425 days/100
|-
| 3 || Sep 10 || Cyndi Lauper's ''Time After Time'' played 1,000 times || 2.79 days || Based on a length of 4 minutes, 1 second
|-
| 2 || Sep 11 || ''Speed'' (1994) played at one frame per second || 1.9 days || {{w|Speed (1994 film)}} has runtime of 116 minutes = 6,960 seconds = 167,040 film frames at standard frame rate of 24 frames/second
|-
| 1 || Sep 12 || F(99) where F(N) means sing all the verses of ''N Bottles of Beer On the wall'' followed by F(N-1) || 0.76 days || Each iteration contains ''N'' verses. ''N + N-1 + N-2 ... + 1'' equals ''N * (N+1) / 2'', so 99 recursions = 4950 verses. Using the same 13-second (72 bpm) rate as Jun 29, this is close to 18 hours. Probably refers to Donald Knuth's article {{w|The Complexity of Songs}}. This F(99) song is referenced in the title text, see [[#Explanation|explanation]] above.
|-
| 0 || Sep 13 || ''What If? 2'' release day || N/A || Book launched!
|}

==Transcript==
:[The comic is a calendar that counts down to a specific date, like a Christmas calendar starting on June 2nd and ending on September 13th (2022). Each day is represented with a large square and there are 12 weeks for a total of 84 days. The days belonging to a particular month are surrounded by a thicker frame than between days from the same month. The first day of each month plus the very first day has the date given with three letters representing the month and the day number. This is written at the top right corner in a frame. All other days either only have the number for the day in the frame in the corner, or, if there are too much text on the day, no number is written. A single day has the number without the frame around it. The very last day notes what the countdown is for and there are three large stars places around the text, as well as smaller and larger dots, likely representing more stars in the entire field. All other days have text on all white background. The text represents a time that fits the time span from that day until the final day. The calendar begins on a Wednesday, and since the calendar week begins on a Sunday, there are three days missing to the left in the top row, and similarly four days are missing to the right in the bottom row as the last day is a Tuesday. Above the calendar is a large heading with a subheading below:]
:<big>Countdown to ''What if? 2''</big>
:(Preorder at xkcd.com/whatif2 to get it at the end of the countdown)

:[The date given, either as written or else mentioned if not written in comic, and then follows the text on that day:]
:Jun 22
::πe millidecades
:23
::7 megaseconds
:24
::e lunar months
:25
::60 rotations of Foucault's pendulum in Paris
:26
::8 milligenerations
:27
::777,777 dog minutes
:28
::7! episodes of ''Jeopardy!'' (skipping ads)
:29
::5,000 repeats of ''99 Bottles of Beer''
:30
::5 baker's fortnights (15 days)
:Jul 1
::√2 dog years
:[Date left out on the 2nd.]
::π millivics (1/1000th of Queen Victoria's reign)
:3
::42 drives from NYC to LA (Google Maps estimate)
:4
::1,000 viewings of ''Groundhog Day''
:5
::100,000 minutes
:6
::1/10th of Martian year
:7
::1,234,567 sound-miles
:8
::2πe seconds
:9
::216 beats (Swatch Internet Time)
:10
::1,000 ISS orbits
:11
::[Four musical notes are shown at the top.]
::Five hundred twenty five thousand (base seven) minutes
:12
::1050 Planck times
:13
::4,000 episodes of ''The Office'' (skipping ads)
:14
::Four score and seven kilominutes
:15
::2 lunar months
:16
::Half a day on Venus
:17
::5 megaseconds
:[Date left out on the 18th.]
::30 microLits (1/1,000,000th of the time since the invention of literature)
:19
::1,000 viewings of ''Run Lola Run''
:20
::One million sound-miles
:21
::30 Ionian months
:22
::One dog year
:23
::60 viewings of ''Star Wars Episodes I-IX''
:24
::1/100,000,000,000th of the universe's age
:25
::5 milli-generations
:[Date left out on the 26th.]
::10,000 games of ''7 minutes in Heaven'' or 7 games of ''10,000 minutes in Heaven''
:27
::φeπ minutes
:28
::4 megaseconds
:29
::216 minutes
:30
::eee seconds
:31
::π fortnights
:Aug 1
::One devil's spacewalk (666 orbits of the ISS)
:2
::1 kilowatt-hour per watt
:3
::eπ Ionian months
:4
::30 rotations of Foucault's pendulum in Paris
:5
::e fortnights
:6
::πe baker's days (25 hours)
:7
::One deciyear
:8
::7! milliweeks
:9
::100,000 plays of the ''Jeopardy!'' "Think" music
:10
::1000 basketball games (game time)
:11
::777 hours
:12
::One millilincoln (1/1000 of fourscore and seven years)
:13
::1,000 episodes of ''60 Minutes'' (skipping ads)
:14
::All of ''Star Trek'', consecutively
:15
::777,777 nanocenturies
:16
::One sidereal lunar month
:17
::6 dog months
:18
::ππ kilominutes
:19
::7 games of ''7! minutes in Heaven''
:20
::50 viewings of the extended ''Lord of the Rings'' trilogy
:[Date left out on the 21th.]
::A drive from NYC to LA where you keep remembering new things you forgot and have to go back 6 times
:[Date left out on the 22nd.]
::''It's a Small World'' sung at 1/10,000th speed
:23
::500 hours
:24
::√2 fortnights
:[Date left out on the 25th.]
::Time it would take Vanessa Carlton to walk 1,000 miles
:26
::100,000 breaths
:27
::√2 megaseconds
:28
::πππ πcoseconds
:29 [The date is not inside a small frame as all other dates shown.]
::One baker's fortnight (15 days)
:30
::One baker's dozen (13) baker's days (25 hours)
:31
::300 hours
:Sep 1
::One million seconds
:2
::One nonstop bike ride from NYC to LA
:3
::1⁄1,000th of a generation
:4
::777,777 seconds
:5
::100 viewings of ''Groundhog Day''
:[Date left out on the 6th.]
::100 games of ''Lincoln Kissing'' (Fourscore and seven minutes in Heaven)
:7
::One pico-universe-lifetime
:8
::The ''Baby Shark'' chorus for a family of 50,000 sharks
:9
::One centiyear
:10
::Cyndi Lauper's ''Time After Time'' played 1,000 times
:[Date left out on the 11th.]
::''Speed'' (1994) played at one frame per second
:[Date left out on the 12th.]
::F(99) where F(N) means sing all the verses of ''N Bottles of Beer On the wall'' followed by F(N-1)
:13
::''What If? 2'' release day

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Book promotion]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Time]]
[[Category:What If?]]
[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]

2613: Bad Map Projection: Madagascator

2023-07-21T07:53:04Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2613
| date = April 29, 2022
| title = Bad Map Projection: Madagascator
| image = bad_map_projection_madagascator.png
| titletext = The projection's north pole is in a small lake on the island of Mahé in the Seychelles, which is off the top of the map and larger than the rest of the Earth's land area combined.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the fifth comic in the series of [[:Category:Bad Map Projections|Bad Map Projections]] displaying Bad Map Projection #248: Madagascator. It came about 10 months after the fourth [[2489: Bad Map Projection: The Greenland Special ]] (#299).

This time, [[Randall]] used the classic {{w|Mercator projection}} but instead of placing the North Pole on top and the South Pole on the bottom it is oriented so that the top is the island of {{w|Mahé, Seychelles|Mahé}}. The map projection is technically an {{w|Oblique Mercator projection}}, with an unusual choice of the cylinder's axis. Since the Mercator projection tends to visually distort areas near the top and bottom of the resulting map, this gives some areas, notably Madagascar, very unusual shapes, hence the name the ''Madagascator'' — a portmanteau of "Madagascar" and "Mercator"!

The Mercator projection became the standard projection for world maps during the 1800s, because a straight line (or {{w|rhumb line}}) in a Mercator map represents a constant bearing relative to true north. Historically, when navigation was performed by compass, this was a very valuable feature, since one (adjusting for the differences between true and magnetic north) could plot a constant-bearing course between two locations by simply looking at their relative direction on the map.

However, in the mid-20th century, the Mercator was {{w|Mercator_projection#Criticism|criticized}} because it causes distortion near the north and south poles of the map, giving an inaccurate impression of relative sizes. The most commonly given example of this is the size of Greenland — although on the Mercator it appears to be larger than Africa in area, Africa in reality covers an area 14 times that of Greenland.

Randall turns this example on its head by making Madagascar, rather than Greenland, appear larger in the ''Madagascator'' than in reality. By contrast with Greenland, the world's largest non-continent island, Madagascar is only the fourth-largest island in the world, behind Greenland, New Guinea, and Borneo.

To accomplish this, instead of placing the north pole of the map at the geographic North Pole, Randall places the north pole of the map on the island of Mahé in Seychelles. As Madagascar is relatively close to Mahé (around 650 mi (1050 km) distant), placing the north pole of the Mercator projection at Mahé significantly distorts the size of Madagascar, making it appear comparable in size to Europe on the map.

But this distortion is even more pronounced when it comes to the island of Mahé itself, as Randall notes in the title text.
Although Mahé, the largest island in Seychelles with an area of 60.7 square mi (157.2 square km), is minuscule even compared to Madagascar, the claim in the title text that it appears "larger than the rest of the Earth's land area combined" is an understatement.

No part of Mahé is visible in the comic, but clicking on the actual comic will open a [https://mrgris.com/projects/merc-extreme/#a4739c9b@-4.64274,55.45253 website] that displays Mercator projections with a pole in any chosen location, with the location of the one opened set to Mahé. The chosen pole is (infinitely far to) the right of the screen, while its {{w|antipodes|antipode}} is on the left. With this, it is possible to see that the island is indeed larger than the rest of the map's land area combined. A single national park within the island rivals Africa in size, and the narrow dirt road closest to the pole appears thicker than Panama. This also reveals that the location of the map's north pole (the "small lake" mentioned by Randall) is the lake impounded by the Rochon Dam, a popular tourist location in Mahé.

Unlike previous Bad Map Projections, Morocco and Western Sahara are drawn as one unlabelled country.

===Comparison of actual/mapped areas===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
! Landmass
! Status
! data-sort-type="number"|Actual Area<ref name="act">Major contiguous land areas that should exclude all islands, ''especially'' major ones, '''''especially''''' especially those listed separately</ref> (Millions of Km²)
! data-sort-type="number"|Proportion Land Area
! data-sort-type="number"|Proportion Image Area<ref name="pri">Of only these listed areas listed</ref>
! data-sort-type="number"|Distortion<ref name="dis">NB. Difference between percentages, rather than percentage difference</ref>
|-
| Africa<ref name="suez">Edge at Suez Canal</ref> || data-sort-value="C2"|Continent 2nd largest || 29.7 || 19.95% || 35% || +15.1%
|-
| Eurasia<ref name="suez" /> || data-sort-value="C1"|Continent Largest || 53.4 || 35.83% || 30% || -5.83%
|-
| North America<ref name="pan">Edge at Panama Canal</ref> || data-sort-value="C3"|Continent 3rd largest || 19.3 || 12.96% || 15% || +2.04%
|-
| South America<ref name="pan" /> || data-sort-value="C4"|Continent 4th largest || 17.8 || 11.96% || 7.8% || -4.16%
|-
| Antarctica<ref name="ice">Significant ice-sheets may complicate mapped/actual 'land' areas</ref> || data-sort-value="C5"|Continent 5th largest || 14.2 || 9.53% || 5.3% || -4.23%
|-
| Madagascar || data-sort-value="I04"|Island 4th largest || 0.592 || 0.40% || 2.9% || +2.50%
|-
| Australia || data-sort-value="C7"|Continent Smallest || 7.55 || 5.07% || 2.5% || -2.57%
|-
| Greenland<ref name="ice" /> || data-sort-value="I01"|Island Largest || 2.17 || 1.45% || 0.87% || -0.58%
|-
| Borneo || data-sort-value="I03"|Island 3rd largest || 0.749 || 0.50% || 0.37% || -0.13%
|-
| New Guinea || data-sort-value="I02"|Island 2nd largest || 0.786 || 0.53% || 0.32% || -0.21%
|-
| Japan<ref name="hon">Honshu only</ref> || data-sort-value="I07"|Island 7th largest || 0.228 || 0.15% || 0.10% || -0.05%
|-
| Mainland Britain || data-sort-value="I09"|Island 9th largest || 0.209 || 0.14% || 0.10% || -0.04%
|-
| Island of Ireland || data-sort-value="I20"|Island 20th largest || 0.082 || 0.05% || 0.03% || -0.02%
|}

<references/>

==Transcript==
:Bad Map Projection
:<big>#248: Madagascator</big>
:Mercator projection but with the North Pole in the Indian Ocean so it exaggerates the size of Madagascar instead of Greenland. Various countries and oceans are labeled, and country borders are shown.
:[A drawn world map in Mercator projection, with the North Pole in the Indian Ocean. The center of the map appears to be near Europe, causing regions bordering the Atlantic Ocean to appear compressed relative to those away from the it. Landmasses close to the Indian Ocean appear heavily distorted, especially the African coast, Middle East and the Indian subcontinent appearing far larger than they really are. Madagascar is now distorted and appears far larger than Greenland, which is now on the Equator, and is now comparable in size to Australia and Antarctica, both of which are on the 'equator' of this new map.]
{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Bad Map Projections]]
[[Category:Portmanteau]]

2596: Galaxies

2023-07-20T07:00:37Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2596
| date = March 21, 2022
| title = Galaxies
| image = galaxies.png
| titletext = I know it seems overwhelming, but don't worry; I'm sure most of them have only a few stars, and probably no planets.
}}

==Explanation==
{{Quote|Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is.|{{w|Douglas Adams}}|{{w|The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy}}}}

This is another comic with a [[:Category:Facts|Fact]], the second in a row of these fact comics to use an Astronomy fact.

Our best approximation of the number of {{w|galaxies}} in the {{w|observable universe}} is about 200 billion (2 × 1011). That's a lot of galaxies,{{citation needed}} and here [[Randall]] exemplifies this by showing a small circle and estimating that when the comic's picture is viewed at a typical arm's length, expanded to full screen on your typical smartphone, the circle contains roughly 50,000 galaxies (that means of course not the small circle itself, but the volume defined by the viewer's eye, that circle, and an onward conical extension into deep space — and simultaneously back in time — to the respective limits of the observable universe). Most of those far-away galaxies are undetectable by even our most powerful astronomical instruments today, and comparatively few could be seen (let alone positively identified as such) by the naked eye. For example, in the {{w|Hubble Deep Field}}, an image of a small region in the constellation Ursa Major, about 3,000 visible galaxies can be identified.

Measuring in the mid-point of the lines, the circle is about one fortieth of the width of the frame of the comic. The absolute circle size depends on the display resolution, size and mode, but it can reasonably be taken to be 1mm diameter, or 0.5mm radius, giving a total area π r2 or about π/4 square millimeters. You're probably holding the phone about a half a meter away from your eye. The surface area of a sphere is 4 π r2. With a radius of one-half meter, that comes out to be π square meters. Thus, the area of the circle is about 1/4000000 of the area of the sphere, 200 billion galaxies divided by 4 million is the 50,000 average mentioned in the cartoon. A similar mathematics was used for the comic [[1276: Angular Size]], in which the projective sphere was at the Earth's own radius and cross-sectional areas of objects were compared, rather than an approximate count of objects within a given angular spread.

While galaxies usually are between 3,000 to 300,000 {{w|light-years}} across and contain between 10^8 (100 million) and 10^14 (100 trillion) stars, most are so far away from the Earth (upwards of billions of light-years) that they are invisible to the naked eye, or even through most telescopes. When magnified across such vast distances, even something as small as a pinhole expands to huge sizes, easily able to fit tens of thousands of galaxies.

The premise of this comic is that although galaxies are giant, space is unimaginably big and contains a vast number of things. Randall is apparently overwhelmed by this, as shown in the caption: ''Astronomy Fact: There are too many galaxies''.

The title text is Randall reassuring his readers why not to worry about this overwhelming fact. He states that most galaxies only have few stars and probably no planets. However, as mentioned above each galaxy contains a huge amount of stars, and as evident from all his own comics about [[:Category:Exoplanets|exoplanets]], it is now clear that many of the stars in a galaxy also have planets orbiting them. Thus the number of stars and planets in that small circle is much more mind-bogglingly large, than the number of galaxies, and thus the reassurance is sarcasm.

In [[975: Occulting Telescope]] [[Cueball]] expresses a similar sentiment about the number of stars.

==Transcript==
:[An almost white panel with a caption at the top. Then a small circle, much smaller than for instance the letter O in the text is in the center of the panel. A bending arrow points to the circle and beneath the arrow is a caption.]
:Open this picture fullscreen on your phone and hold it at arm's length.
:There are 50,000 galaxies in this circle.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Astronomy Fact: There are too many galaxies.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Facts]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]

2458: Bubble Wrap

2023-07-10T02:01:31Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */ Deleted unnecessary word

{{comic
| number = 2458
| date = May 3, 2021
| title = Bubble Wrap
| image = bubble_wrap.png
| titletext = I think of myself as the David Attenborough of factory mailing equipment.
}}

==Explanation==

{{w|Bubble wrap}} is packing material made by melting two sheets of plastic together with little pockets of air (the "bubbles") spread throughout the surface. It is wrapped around fragile items for moving or shipping because the air pockets act as a cushion if the item(s) within are struck or shaken. Many people enjoy popping bubble wrap as a mindless hobby, perhaps due to the tactility and other sensations of each bubble makes as it bursts.

The premise behind this comic is that the air inside each bubble comes from the factory where it was made, and thus as each bubble is popped that air — along with anything in it — is released. If one had a very sensitive sense of smell, one could detect unique odors present in the factory at the time not present where you are popping the bubble wrap. The comic has Cueball smelling {{w|WD-40}} (a penetrating oil likely to be found where machines are running), diesel fumes (likely found where trucks drop off supplies or pick up product) and what he thinks is sea air, causing him to muse that the factory is by the ocean.

In reality, the air inside most factories is much like the air anywhere else.{{Citation needed}} This is particularly true for modern factories which are much cleaner than the popular conception of a dirty, smelly factory from early in the days of industrialization. One would be unlikely to distinctly smell WD-40 or diesel fumes standing in such a factory unless it was right after or right near they were used. It would be even less likely to smell them when the minuscule amounts of air in the bubbles was then diluted in the larger amount of air surrounding you when they are popped. Furthermore, although the comic suggests popping the bubbles gives one a "tour" of the factory, in fact all of the air added to the bubbles would only come from air near the machine where the wrap is made. It would be even less likely to pick up smells from other parts of the factory such as diesel fumes from the loading docks, since air is not added to bubble wrap there.

Although this scenario is unlikely given human olfactory ability, scientists with very sensitive equipment have done essentially this with ice cores. As ice is laid down in places such as the Greenland or Antarctic ice sheets, it traps small bubbles from the atmosphere at the time within it. As long as the ice remains frozen, those bubbles remain trapped and do not interact with the current atmosphere, preserving a record of the chemical composition of the air in the past. There have been many scientific expeditions to drill ice cores and then melt pieces of them in a laboratory where special equipment can analyze the ancient air as it is released to study the quantity of oxygen and CO2 within in. The deeper the core is drilled, the farther in the past the sample.

The title text references {{w|David Attenborough}}, who is famous for having narrated many influential documentaries for the BBC about life on earth. He is renowned for having brought science into the homes of tens of millions. The title text humorously suggests that Cueball thinks his "narration" about what he smells in the bubble wrap is as important and distinguished as Attenborough's award winning work.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is holding a large piece of bubble wrap in both hands, clearly pressing one of the bubbles with his fingers so it pops, indicated with several small lines going away from that spot, and a sound.]
:Cueball: Hmm...
:Cueball: WD-40, diesel fumes...
:Cueball: And is that sea air? I guess they're near the ocean.
:Bubble wrap: ''Pop''

:[Caption below the panel:]
:If your sense of smell is good enough, popping bubble wrap gives you a tour of a bubble wrap factory.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

2263: Cicadas

2023-06-18T18:45:24Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2263
| date = February 3, 2020
| title = Cicadas
| image = cicadas.png
| titletext = After a while you adjust to the new cicadian rhythm.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Cicada|Cicadas}} are a species of insect whose nymphs burrow underground and emerge as adults to reproduce several years later. One common species in North America is the 17-year cicada, also known as the {{w|periodical cicada}}. These cicadas form distinct {{w|Periodical_cicadas#Map_of_brood_locations|broods}} which burrow and emerge as a group every 17 years, with different broods starting the cycle at different times. This results in a couple of weeks every 17 years when the cicadas swarm in huge numbers, then vanish just as quickly when the adults die off. Cicadas also make a distinctive buzzing sound, which makes their periodic appearance even more memorable.

In the comic, [[Cueball]] and [[Ponytail]] have accidentally created 17-''second'' cicadas using {{w|genetic engineering}}. This means that rather than seeing a massive swarm every 17 years that lasts for a few weeks, they have to deal with a swarm every 17 seconds that lasts for a few moments. This makes it very difficult for them to do their work, especially to figure out how the cicadas were created because the swarm keeps interrupting their work. Note that the comic has been drawn differently to most other straight four-panel comics, probably to highlight the interruptions of the buzzing swarm - see the [[#Transcript|transcript]]. Also see the [[#Trivia|trivia section]] below for more details on the 17-year cicadas. Those were referenced again in the title text of [[2633: Astronomer Hotline]].

The title text is a pun on "{{w|circadian rhythm}}." In particular, it might resemble something said to someone getting adjusted to a new sleep schedule. But here it is the 17 seconds interruption, not a time zone shift, that has to be adjusted for.

This entire comic seems to only have been a lead-up to the "cicadian rhythm" punchline. This is an interesting suggestion since [[Randall]] has mentioned in an interview that he makes up the title text after completing the comic.{{Actual citation needed}} Seems like he made an exception here; unless he didn't.

==Transcript==
:[This comic is laid out in a variation of a regular four-panel comic. One wide panel is overlaid by two smaller panels, which are placed where the second and fourth panels would be. These panels are slightly offset so they extend above the wide panel.]

:[Cueball and Ponytail are facing each other across a desk while having a conversation. Cueball is holding up a tablet in his hand while Ponytail is typing at a laptop on the desk.]
:Cueball: What can you tell from genome comparison?
:Ponytail: I think there's a duplication on the -
:Ponytail: ''Look out!''

:[An overlaid panel shows that the air is full of flying cicadas, many of which have landed on Cueball, Ponytail, the laptop, the tablet, and the desk. Ponytail and Cueball have their arms up in a futile attempt to shield themselves from the bugs, with Cueball having put the tablet down on the table.]
:<big>'''''Bzzzzzzz'''''</big>

:[The cicadas are gone, and Cueball and Ponytail resume their conversation. Cueball has picked up the tablet again]
:Ponytail: - a duplication on the gene right before the cleavage site, so the resulting protein -
:Ponytail: ''Look out!''

:[An overlaid panel shows that the air is again full of flying cicadas, which have once again landed on Cueball, Ponytail, the laptop, the tablet, and the desk. Ponytail and Cueball have raised their arms to shield themselves again.]
:<big>'''''Bzzzzzzz'''''</big>

:[Caption below the large panel:]
:Our genetics work has produced 17-second cicadas, but we're having a hard time figuring out how.

==Trivia==
The widely-accepted scientific explanation for the long and seemingly arbitrary 17-year lifecycle is that seventeen is a {{w|prime number}} - it's believed that this is an evolutionary adaptation against lifecycles of competitors taking easy advantage of the cicada as a food source (if a predator) or emerging early to dominate their shared food source (if a fellow feeder), since 17 years cannot be divided by any whole number of years other than itself and 1.

A 16-year cicada might find a creature with an 8-year, 4-year, or [[1602:_Linguistics_Club|biennial]] cycle could profit from it in a 'clash' of expectations, but only a cycle that is a multiple of 17 (by an identical accident of evolution, that must also match the 'beat' years of the Cicada to be useful) would affect the presumed ancestors of the comic-strip breed. Predators often work to yearly cycles of plenty and scarcity of food or can survive a low number of famine years between the better ones, but if they have less than one year of 'bounty' for every decade or so of 'normal' feeding then they cannot build up the numbers needed to threaten such prey that plays the long-game.

Other broods of cicada have 13-year lifecycles (the next lowest prime number), and would potentially clash for resources (or hybridize) only every 221 years. Even if this causes a single bad cycle, for both sub-species, the next cycle of appearance is their own once more (for each) and the respective populations have plenty of opportunity to recover from this event by the time a further two centuries pass. Thus it is theorized the happenstance evolution of a period of dormancy that gives a cycle of a significantly large prime-number of years - though still low enough to ''survive'' that period - is ultimately more advantageous than any cousins who tried to evolve to a period with smaller factors/shorter harmonics.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Puns]]

2242: Ground vs Air

2023-06-17T08:12:45Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */ "Comprised of" is nonsense...

{{comic
| number = 2242
| date = December 16, 2019
| title = Ground vs Air
| image = ground vs air.png
| titletext = Water is thinner than both, and fire is *definitely* thicker.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic depicts a map of the world using the {{w|Winkel tripel projection}}, comparing the thickness of the ground, which is defined as the {{w|lithosphere}}, to the "thickness" (or height) of the air above it, which refers to the {{w|atmosphere}}.

In an inserted figure, [[Randall]] defines the thickness using three boundaries. At the top is {{w|space}}, defined by the {{w|Kármán line}} at an altitude of 100 km (≈ 62 mi). (See the [[#Trivia|Trivia]] section below for a discussion of this definition of the beginning of space.) Below that is the atmosphere which goes down to the ground, where [[Cueball]] is standing, or the water. Beneath the surface is the lithosphere, comprising the Earth's crust along with the rigid upper part of the mantle, and beneath this is the {{w|asthenosphere}}, the partially melted, highly viscous region of the {{w|upper mantle}} just below the lithosphere. The lithosphere is variable in thickness, averaging about 100 km, but the oceanic lithosphere is much thinner than the continental lithosphere (oceanic crust is thinner and denser than continental crust). The diagram also shows oceanic cross-section to the left-hand side and, though the diagram does not make it explicit, presumably the two measurements used are of the atmosphere down from 'space' to the surface of the ground, if dry, or to the surface of the water covering the ground (which is essentially sea level in the oceans, fluctuating slightly with the tides, but covers a broader range for inland water, from the Dead Sea, at 0.4 km below sea level, to Lake Titicaca, almost 4 km above sea level) and of rock descending from the solid interface down to the asthenosphere, as the sliver of liquid that can intervene between the two spans is referred to as a separate measurement elsewhere.

The map shades in the parts where the thickness of the ground is thicker than the thickness of the air. This almost only occurs directly over continents, and certainly only where the continental crust is located (which can stretch into the near-coast parts of oceans). Oceanic crust is much thinner than continental crust. It is also made of a different material; it is denser. Because it is denser, it floats lower in the liquid asthenosphere, causing it to be below sea level. Some parts of continental crust are also under sea level (the continental shelf). These are the areas on the map that are marked as having thicker ground that appear to be over the ocean (such as Northern Canada, or the Caribbean) - they are actually still continental crust. (There are still some exceptions, such as the Sea of Japan and the Philippines).

Randall has mainly used a work by Conrad and Lithgow-Bertelloni from 2006 to estimate the thickness of the "ground", and he gives the reference to the paper [https://agupubs.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1029/2005GL025621 DOI.1029/2005GL025621]. Basically, Randall has taken their map and shaded the green and blue areas. It is the second comic in a row with a citation, after the footnote in [[2241: Brussels Sprouts Mandela Effect]].

The title text refers to the ancient four {{w|classical element}}s: earth, water, air, fire. The lithosphere, or ground, is earth, the oceans is water, the atmosphere is air, and fire would thus be the hot, plastic rock of the Earth's mantle, see [[913: Core]]. The mantle is not "on fire", but it is hot enough that it would ignite almost anything on the surface. The water layer on Earth is never more than 11 km deep, even at the deepest part of the ocean, the {{w|Mariana Trench}}, and thus cannot compare to the thickness of the atmosphere or the lithosphere. An expansive definition of "fire" to include the rest of the Earth below the lithosphere puts the fire layer at 6,000 km thick, the radius of the Earth, much thicker than the other layers, hence the ''and fire is *definitely* thicker'' comment at the end of the title text. Space or vacuum would in the classical element terminology have been called the {{w|Aether (classical element)|Aether}}.

In [[977: Map Projections]] the [[977:_Map_Projections#Winkel-Tripel|Winkel-Tripel projection]] is the fifth projection which is linked to the {{w|Hipster (contemporary subculture)|hipster}} subculture.

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the drawing]:
:Which is thicker—the ground or the air?

:[The drawing shows a Winkel tripel projection of the Earth. The features of the main map is unlabeled, with only the outlines of the landmasses present. Various parts of the map are labeled with "Air" (four times) or "Ground" (5 times). Areas marked as "Ground" are differentiated with gray shading. These are always over large landmasses or close to them. They cover most of North America (labeled), the northern part of South America (labeled), Northern Europe and most of Asia (labeled), Japan, most of Australia and part of the Indonesia, Western Africa, sub-equatorial Africa (labeled), and finally the central parts of Antarctica (labeled). Air is written on the West Coast of the United States, in the Atlantic Ocean, over the central part of Africa and in the Pacific Ocean, near the Philippines.]
:[Over West Coast of the United States]: Air
:[Over North America]: Ground
:[Over Atlantic Ocean]: Air
:[Over South America]: Ground
:[Over the central part of Africa]: Air
:[Over the southern part of Africa]: Ground
:[Over Asia]: Ground
:[Over Pacific Ocean]: Air
:[Over Antarctica ]: Ground

:[A small diagram is present in the Pacific Ocean left of South America. The diagram depicts several labeled layers of Earth and its atmosphere, listed below. Cueball, a body of water, and several mountains are shown on the flat surface part of the diagram, with the ocean floor lower than where Cueball stands. Above is a line representing the border to space. The line beneath the surface is much more curved going both up and down. Two double arrows representing the thickness of the atmosphere and the lithosphere are drawn between the surface and the layers above and below. Another curved double arrow is pointing to each of these distances and it is marked with a question mark in the middle of the line.]
:Space
:Atmosphere
:Lithosphere
:Asthenosphere
:?

:[In the bottom right corner of the comic with gray text is a reference:]
:Based mostly on Conrad and Lithgow-Bertelloni (2006) DOI.1029/2005GL025621

==Trivia==
*[[Randall]] always uses the {{w|Kármán line}} as the boundary between Earth's atmosphere and space.
**He has previously mocked the alternative definition of the atmosphere boundary (at 80 km ≈ 50 mi) used by {{w|US Air Force}} and {{w|NASA}} in the title text of [[1375: Astronaut Vandalism]].
***That definition would, of course, have resulted in a significantly different picture where the ''air'' is thicker than the ''ground'' only inside small areas around mid-ocean ridges. Mid-ocean ridges are where new crust is created and the plates are spreading apart; because the crust is new, it is hot and relatively less dense, causing it to float higher up than the surrounding crust. However, the lithosphere thickens over time as the crust cools, these areas have the thinnest "ground."
***Because the lithosphere is comprised only in part of the crust, and in part of a cool, solid layer of mantle, an alternate definition of "ground" including only the crust (and not the mantle lithosphere) could have led to an alternate version of this map where air was thicker in all locations. The crust is rarely more than 70 km thick, still less than even the 80 km Air Force definition of the atmosphere.
**Although most authorities use the FAI definition of the Kármán line since it is the international organization of record for aeronautics, there are good scientific reasons for the U.S. Air Force definition.{{Citation needed}}
**The Kármán line is named for {{W|Theodore von Kármán}}, who originally calculated the height at which a vehicle would have to travel faster than orbital velocity to generate lift from wings (therefore making the vehicle a spacecraft in orbit rather an "air"craft using aerodynamics for flight).
**Von Kármán originally calculated this height as 51.9 miles (83.6 km) - closer to the Air Force definition.
**Additionally, the boundary between the {{W|Mesosphere}} and the {{W|Thermosphere}} is traditionally taken to be 52.7 miles (85 km), also close to the Air Force definition.
**On the other hand, some newer research suggests the mesopause (the line between the mesosphere and thermosphere) may have peaks between 53 and 62 miles (85-100 km).
**Also the {{w|turbopause}} - the line where gas molecules cease mixing atmospherically and begin stratifying by molecular weight as if they are in orbit - is generally taken to be about 100 kilometers (62 miles), and as such, closer to the FAI definition.
**Regardless of which definition is used, the reality is that the transition from atmosphere to space takes place gradually over tens of kilometers.
***But the idea behind this comic is only funny if an atmosphere of 100 km thickness is used.

{{comic discussion}}


[[Category: Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Geology]]
[[Category:Space]]

2078: Popper

2023-05-23T16:09:35Z

Pressforaction: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2078
| date = November 28, 2018
| title = Popper
| image = popper.png
| titletext = At least, I don't think there's evidence. My claim that there's no evidence hasn't been falsified. At least, not that I know of.
}}

==Explanation==
In this comic, [[Miss Lenhart]] teaches to a class consisting of [[Hairy]], [[Ponytail]] and [[Science Girl]] about {{w|Karl Popper}}. Karl Popper was a philosopher of science who endorsed the idea that science is distinguished from non-science by treating its theories as falsifiable. This means that science does not treat any theory as definitive, because future research could show that it is false.

A not uncommon reading of Popper assumes that instead of proving hypotheses, scientists are disproving hypotheses. This reading leads to technicalities like the ones stated in the comic: Instead of asserting that Popper was indeed born on July 28, 1902, and grew up in Vienna, a scientist can only assert that there is no evidence disproving these facts, which seems counter-intuitive because one cannot disprove the facts of Popper's birthdate and childhood residence.

Note however that falsifiability is often interpreted to mean that there has to be a way to disprove a given statement if it is wrong, or to distinguish between two mutually competing hypotheses – not that a statement is accepted solely due to the lack of evidence to the contrary. For example a birth certificate is often used to establish a date of birth and falsifying that date of birth would then mean calling into question the birth certificate's authenticity or accuracy, but without any historical records of the date of birth one would normally not even speculate at all about the precise date of birth. Such reasoning solely on the absence of proof to the contrary would be considered unusual in most contexts.

The humor comes when the comic applies this idea to the life and biographical information of Karl Popper himself. Note that, in real life, such a subject would be a matter for ''historical'' proof, not scientific, and would thus fall outside the realm of study Popper was thinking of.

The title text takes this reading a couple of steps further in a kind of meta-analysis. It points out that [[Miss Lenhart]]'s claim of no evidence has not been proven false, and also that we're dealing with only the knowledge of a single individual who may not be aware of evidence that might exist.

Another reading of Popper points out that Popper’s philosophy discarded proofs altogether as a defining feature of science. Thus there is no such thing as definitive evidence in Popper’s notion of science: even falsifying assertions themselves are seen as falsifiable.

==Transcript==
:[Miss Lenhart is teaching a class of three students; Hairy, Ponytail, and Science Girl, sitting behind their desks.]
:Miss Lenhart: There's no evidence that Karl Popper wasn't born on July 28th, 1902.
:Miss Lenhart: No one has proven that he didn't grow up in Vienna...

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category: Comics featuring Miss Lenhart]]
[[Category: Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category: Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category: Comics featuring Science Girl]]
[[Category: Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category: Science]]
[[Category: Philosophy]]

1115: Sky

2023-03-30T07:48:54Z

Pressforaction:

{{comic
| number = 1115
| date = October 1, 2012
| title = Sky
| image = sky.png
| titletext = I dropped a bird and I didn't hear it hit bottom.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is about the fact that much of the way we see the world is relative. Which way is left or right, for example, depends on the direction one is facing, so different people can give different answers and both be correct. (Contrast this to absolute directions, such as East and West, which do not change based on one's orientation.)

Which way is 'down' is a little more complicated, as both the absolute and relative direction use the same word (owing to the two directions usually being the same on Earth): it can be defined as 'whichever way gravity goes / the direction things fall', but it can also be defined as 'the direction one's feet are'. In space particularly, the latter definition tends to be used as the former is rather hard to deduce. It is possible, though not too useful, to simply say that 'down' in space is 'whichever way Earth is', or perhaps even 'whichever way is opposite to the Sun'.

However, even on Earth, the direction of 'down' can get muddled. Humans rely a lot on vision to determine which way is down, so in an enclosed room with no references, one can easily convince themselves (accidentally or deliberately) that down is in a different direction to gravity. Forcing yourself to think in a different perspective changes a lot of things that are usually thought of as mundanities.

[[Beret Guy]] convinces himself that down is toward the sky. [[Megan]] asks him why he is clinging to the ground. He responds that he is holding on to the ground so that he does not fall into the sky. Megan at first dismisses this but later looks up, gets scared and is found by [[Ponytail]], clinging to a mailbox afraid of falling up (down?).

The title text continues this idea, where Megan "drops" a bird into the sky, and never hears it hit the "bottom". As birds can fly, and captured birds often fly away when released, its flight appeared to Megan as the bird falling upward. "Didn't hear it hit bottom" would normally mean that the pit is too deep for the sound of impact to make it back up, although in this case as the 'pit' is genuinely bottomless the bird would never hit 'bottom' even if it didn't move.

==Transcript==
:[Megan is looking down at Beret Guy, who appears to be doing a handstand on a grass lawn, with grass tuft drawn several places, including where his hands touch the grass. His hands can be seen in the grass like he is holding on to the grass. Both his legs are moving around above him, as indicated by movement lines.]
:Megan: What are you doing?
:Beret Guy: Clinging to the ceiling of a bottomless abyss.

:[Megan walks past Beret Guy, whose legs are still moving. She is still looking down at the grass.]
:Megan: You are very odd.

:[In a frame-less panel, Megan walks towards a mailbox looking down at it. There is grass around the base of the mailbox pole.]

:[As Megan passes the mailbox, she looks up towards the sky and seems to stop.]

:[The last panel is upside down with the grass at the top and the mailbox pointing down. Megan is clinging to the mailbox, sitting on the grass with her head under the mailbox. Ponytail approaches her, walking on the grass with her head pointing down. The text is written in the sky below them.]
:Ponytail: What's wrong?
:Megan: I looked down.

==Trivia==
*This comic's [https://xkcd.com/1115/info.0.json official transcript] actually refers to [[Ponytail]] as Ponytail.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]

1114: Metallurgy

2023-03-30T07:46:17Z

Pressforaction:

{{comic
| number = 1114
| date = September 28, 2012
| title = Metallurgy
| image = metallurgy.png
| titletext = This exotic blade was wrought from a different fallen star. The meteorite was a carbonaceous chondrite, so it's basically a lump of gravel glued into the shape of a sword. A SPACE sword!
| imagesize =
}}
==Explanation==
The comic explains how weapons would really behave if they were made out of unusual materials. In fantasy stories, using unusual materials for weapons traditionally makes the weapons more powerful and cooler despite limited explanation for exactly why materials of extraterrestrial origin are so superior to their earthly counterparts. The salesman in the comic is [[Beret Guy]], who appears with a beard for only this comic.

The first panel is a reference to a fairly common fantasy trope: the use of iron meteorites for making weapons and armor (for example the sword "Brisingr" of the Inheritance cycle, "Anglachel" in the Tolkien Legendarium or the panserbjørns' armor in Pullman's Northern Lights). The quality of such metal can be rather hit-and-miss. On one hand, iron from meteorites was often mixed with "terrestrial" iron in the early stages of human development to create relatively high quality steel for swords. Undeveloped metalworking techniques at the time meant that extraterrestrial metal was often more refined and plentiful than man-made metal ingots. With that in mind, however, [http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0016703767901408 research] has shown that meteorites have an abundance of the chemical element Antimony (Sb) which by itself is a very brittle metal and therefore swords forged from metals harvested from meteorites may not be as strong as lore would have one think.

The second panel is a reference to stories set in Middle-earth where swords such as Orcrist, Glamdring or Sting (the swords of Thorin, Gandalf and Bilbo/Frodo) glow blue when Orcs are near. The dagger in question, though, glows because of the radioactive properties of {{w|Actinium}} (Ac) which is also highly toxic. Definitely not a dagger you would want to carry around for your every day battles.

The word "Eldritch" in the third panel means sinister, ghostly, or magical.

The fourth panel mentions that the weapon gives a +2 to a player's attribute. This is a reference to role-playing games in which it is common to find items that are able to improve one's character by increasing desirable attributes. In this case, however, +2 to cancer risk, a consequence of the dagger's radioactivity, would definitely not be considered a desirable attribute to increase. This would hit harder on Randall due to his now-wife being diagnosed with breast cancer.

In the title text, the salesman tries to sell [[Cueball]] another meteoric blade, this one made from a {{w|carbonaceous chondrite}}. Carbonaceous chondrites are rocky meteors that generally don't contain a lot of metallic iron. The salesman is either stating that the blade is simply a bunch of nonferrous meteor fragments glued together in the shape of a sword, or stating that the iron he got out of the meteor is so full of impurities that it may as well be gravel. However, because it's made of extraterrestrial material he seems confident he'll still be able to sell it on novelty value alone.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are in a weapon store talking to a bearded salesman wearing a hat.]

:[Salesman holds up a sword.]
:Salesman: This sword was forged from a fallen star. Antimony impurities make the blade surpassingly ''brittle'' and ''weak''.

:[Salesman holds up a dagger.]
:Salesman: And this dagger is made of metal from a far-off kingdom. It glows blue.
:Off-panel: When orcs are near?

:Salesman: No, always. Radiation from the Actinium content.
:Megan: ...Does it have Eldritch powers?

:Salesman: It gives the wearer +2 to cancer risk.
:Cueball: I think we should find another shop.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Cancer]]
[[Category:LOTR]]