explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

3238: Soniferous Aether

2026-04-28T05:39:16Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: added categories for characters

{{comic
| number = 3238
| date = April 27, 2026
| title = Soniferous Aether
| image = soniferous_aether_2x.png
| imagesize = 290x466px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Imagine you could ride alongside a sound wave. It would probably be pretty cool, right? We're putting in a departmental budget request to buy a really fast plane so we can check it out.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by a BOT THAT BREATHES SONIFEROUS AETHER. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

This comic makes a joke on the speed of light and the speed of sound, and the way in which they travel.

Scientists beginning in the late 1690s would discuss a {{w|luminiferous aether}} to explain properties of light, especially its ability to travel in a vacuum, which should not be possible for a wave. The 1887 {{w|Michelson–Morley experiment}} disproved its existence, and nowadays, this property is explained by {{w|wave–particle duality}}, which says that light can act as both a particle and a wave.

The title text references Albert Einstein's thought experiment where he imagined riding alongside a light particle/wave (which was referenced in [[2959: Beam of Light]]), but with a sound wave instead. Travelling at the speed of sound can be accomplished with a fast airplane, usually military aircraft, however the Tu-144 and Concorde were both commericial aircraft that did manage to achieve the ability to go supersonic, [https://www.smithsonianmag.com/air-space-magazine/i-was-there-when-the-dc-8-went-supersonic-27846699/ aside from (briefly) a DC-8].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

Ponytail: We all know the speed of light is constant for all observers. But out experiments show that the speed of sound changes based on the observer's motion. Thus, we posit the existence of a Soniferous Aether, a medium that fills the space between us and carries sound waves.

Caption: Sometimes Physicists forget that air exists and rediscover it from first principles.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]

1186: Bumblebees

2026-04-17T02:51:57Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

{{comic
| number = 1186
| date = March 15, 2013
| title = Bumblebees
| image = bumblebees.png
| titletext = Did you know sociologists can't explain why people keep repeating that urban legend about bumblebees not being able to fly!?
}}

==Explanation==
This is the first comic using a [[:Category:Facts|fact]] that is not a [[:Category:Fun fact|Fun fact]]. Instead it is a Science Fact.

There is an {{w|Bumblebee#Flight|often repeated legend}} that according to the laws of aerodynamics, {{w|bumblebee}}s cannot fly. No theories of aerodynamics or mechanics have ever claimed such a thing, and the legend likely originates from a mathematical error that appeared in a 1934 book, written by a scientist who acknowledged that the conclusion was probably wrong.{{actual citation needed}}

Here, [[Randall]] makes fun of the urban legend with some wordplay. "Fly" in English can refer to both flying under one's own power and the act of piloting a flying vehicle. The comic puts a bumblebee on top of a control column inside of an airplane and lets it fly the entire plane. But {{w|physicist}}s are still confused and don't know how the bees are able to accomplish this.

The strip also creates a fallacy that when experts can't explain something, they must not be able to understand it. In this particular case, experts are unable to explain why bees can fly airplanes because they can't fly airplanes.{{Citation needed}}

This strip could be a reference to {{w|Bee Movie}}, in which the main character, Barry B. Benson, enlists the help of other bees to land a plane with the last reserves of pollen on Earth. The opening quote of the movie repeats the Bumblebee legend, followed by saying, "The bee, of course, flies anyway, because bees don't care what humans think is impossible."

The title text mentions that {{w|Sociology|sociologists}} are also unable to explain why many people repeat this obviously wrong {{w|urban legend}}.

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the panel:]
:Science fact:
:[A black and yellow bumblebee sits on the control column in the cockpit of an airplane. With lots of instruments and buttons in front of it. There is a caption below the panel:]
:Physicists still can't explain how bumblebees can fly airplanes.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Facts]]
[[Category:Bees]]
[[Category:Aviation]]

2983: Monocaster

2026-04-08T03:19:39Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: fixed typo

{{comic
| number = 2983
| date = September 9, 2024
| title = Monocaster
| image = monocaster_2x.png
| imagesize = 536x673px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = My competitors say the tiny single tiny caster is unsafe, unstable, and offers no advantages over traditional designs, to which I say: wow, why are you guys so mean? I thought we were friends!
}}

==Explanation==
A caster, also spelled castor, is a small unpowered wheel, usually attached to a swiveling base. They are typically found on carts and office chairs to make them easy to move, and may be placed on heavy appliances to facilitate movement.

Randall has proposed a variant of the skateboard with only one caster on the bottom, the titular "monocaster", and devoted most of the comic to a {{w|Perceptual mapping|perceptual map}} showing the variety of wheeled vehicles. Market strategists and investors use such diagrams as a simple way of representing important differences between products or companies, but where a consumer might be more concerned with features like speed, cost, ease of use, or carrying capacity, this map focuses on the number of wheels (horizontal axis) and the diameter of those wheels (vertical axis).

Each axis uses a logarithmic scale, which is convenient for making the map look more evenly filled but also visually exaggerates the size of the "key gap" that the monocaster is filling, which can be described as "vehicle with a single wheel smaller than 25 cm". The nearest competitors appear to be a two-wheel skateboard sometimes called a {{w|caster board}} (wheel diameter under 8 cm) and a single-wheel self-balancing board resembling a {{w|Onewheel}} (diameter around 25 cm). The Onewheel is sometimes described as a {{w|monowheel}} (though these are traditionally larger like the "1920s monowheel" on the upper left). Randall appears to have combined these two names to create the monocaster. This gives up several of the competitors' features - the caster board's two wheels provide enough stability to propel the vehicle manually, while the Onewheel's single wheel is wide (assisting with sideways balance) and powered by a self-balancing mechanism.

The result resembles a {{w|Balance board#Sphere-and-ring|"Sphere-and-ring" balance board}}, or other types, though these provide limited locomotion potential. The joke depends on the caster's obvious impracticality in this role: the hole in the market was open ''for a reason''. The obvious drawback to any single-wheeled vehicle is that it's difficult to balance: the rider has to avoid falling forward or backward, as well as to either side. This is a major reason why one-wheeled vehicles are uncommon to begin with, but those vehicles which do exist compensate by using relatively large wheels, driven either by human power or a motor, which creates rotational inertia and allows the rider to balance simply by leaning forward.

A single, small, undriven wheel eliminates these balancing forces, meaning that the user would essentially need to balance on a single point. Also, most casters swivel, meaning that the balance point would move around under the rider's feet and make it even more difficult to balance. In addition, there's no apparent means of propulsion, which means the only way to move forward would be to either roll exclusively downhill, or use one foot to push off the ground. Either strategy would make retaining balance almost impossible.

Multiple-wheeled vehicles greatly reduce the issue of balance simply by having multiple points of contact with the ground. The size of the wheels varies greatly; small, rigid wheels are generally suitable only for flat, smooth, rigid surfaces at relatively slow speeds, while vehicles expected to handle high speeds and varying road (and off-road) conditions will necessarily have larger wheels.

The "monocaster" design offers no advantages and would be nearly unrideable, making it obvious why such a vehicle has never been seriously proposed.

The title text extends the joke by listing the disadvantages mentioned above, but not providing a rebuttal. Instead it only attempts an emotional appeal by saying that the competitors are being mean and by commenting that Randall believed they were friends.

{| class=wikitable
! scope="col" | Vehicle
! scope=“col” | Number of wheels
! scope=“col” | Wheel Diameter
! scope="col" | Explanation
|-
| 1920s {{w|Monowheel}} || 1 || 3 meters || A monowheel is a vehicle in which the rider sits inside a single, large, hollow wheel. Versions have existed which were hand- or pedal-cranked, but the "1920s" version portrayed here is apparently motor-driven. These vehicles have generally been seen as novelties, as their stability and practicality issues limit their usefulness for actual transport.
|-
| {{w|Unicycle}} || 1 || 45 centimeters || Probably the best known single-wheeled form of transport, a unicycle consists of a single wheel, usually driven directly by pedals, with a seat mounted on top. Due to their difficulty, they are most commonly used as novelties and for comic performances, more than as practical transport.
|-
| {{w|Onewheel}} || 1 || 20 centimeters || A one-wheeled electric skateboard in which the user stands on both sides of a large, central wheel. The design self-balances by increasing the velocity as the user leans forward. This allows balancing and speed control to operate in a single motion.
|-
| {{w|Bicycle}} || 2 || 45 centimeters || A two-wheeled, pedal-driven vehicle. The relatively simple, inexpensive and efficient design of these vehicles makes them practical for transport in a variety of situations. As a result, they've long been among the most popular and widely-produced vehicles in the world.
|-
| {{w|Scooter}} || 2 || 8 centimeters (*) || A two-wheeled vehicle driven either by pushing with a foot or by an electric motor or fuel-powered engine. Scooters are ridden both for recreation and as a form of transportation in cities.
|-
| {{w|Roller shoe}} || 2 || 1 centimeter (*) || Shoes with small wheels built into the back end of the soles, putting them underneath the wearer's heels (which is what the brand-name "{{w|Heelys}}" is derived from). They allow the user access to wheeled movement by pushing off the ground and balancing on the slightly protuding wheels. They are not as fast or comfortable as a dedicated wheeled vehicle, their rolling action is limited to sufficiently flat surfaces and they are not as easy as regular shoes to simply walk in. However, such shoes allow for some degree of both walking ''and'' rolling without having to carry a separate wheeled vehicle, or necessarily having the baseline difficulty of other 'fuller' versions of wearable skates.
|-
| {{w|Tricycle}} || 3 || 20 centimeters || Appears to be a {{w|Big Wheel (tricycle)|"Big Wheel" type}} child's toy, which actually have smaller 'trailing wheels', rather than either {{w|Tricycle#Upright|upright}} or {{w|Tricycle#Recumbent|recumbent}} style cycles for adults which ''usually'' match the wheel-sizes of their bicycle equivalents.
|-
| Scooter (three-wheeled) || 3 || 3 centimeters (*) || Very similar to two-wheeled scooters (see above), but using two wheels in the front instead of three. This increases stability but makes the scooter less maneuverable. The modern 'tail-wheel' variant as shown (usually with lean-and-steer front wheels, rather than handlebar twisting) has superseded the traditional tricycle layout (closely paired rear wheels, single steerable front wheel) that was the more usual three-wheel version of children's scooters in the decades before the millenium. The steering geometries and ride behaviours of each type experience significantly different advantages and flaws, both also handling differently from the typical two-wheel version.
|-
| {{w|Monster Truck}} || 4 || 2.5 meters || Monster trucks are vehicles equipped with (usually four, but sometimes more) outsize wheels. They are almost always driven as part of events where specifically trained drivers use them to perform dangerous stunts and crush smaller vehicles. Because of their size, the danger to other vehicles, often very poor mileage, and design choices that can be in violation of local laws and regulations regarding motorized vehicles, monster trucks are generally illegal to drive on public roads and have to be transported in dedicated trailers, making them poor choices for transport where one has to leave private property.
|-
| {{w|Car}} || 4 || 50 centimeters || Cars are motorized vehicles designed to move one or more people and an amount of goods around fast. While almost all cars have four wheels (discounting reserve wheels), there are a few that have more than four (certain limousines) or fewer (such as the {{w|Reliant Robin}} or {{w|Morgan 3-Wheeler}}). Cars are more expensive than most options on the chart, but they also excel in speed, comfort, and flexibility.
|-
| {{w|All-terrain vehicle|ATV}} || 4 || 20 centimeters (*) || ATVs or "all-terrain vehicles" are unenclosed, handlebar-steered vehicles designed for off-road riding. They have four, large, low-pressure tires and a robust suspension system to accommodate rough terrain. They generally aren't designed to carry passengers, and have limited cargo capacity, which limits their usefulness for regular transport. They're generally used either for recreation or for transport in areas without well-maintained roads.
|-
| {{w|Skateboard}} || 4 || 2 centimeters (*) || Skateboards consist of a single board with four, small rigid wheels attached. They are generally propelled by pushing off the ground with one foot. They're commonly used for recreation and trick-riding, but can be used for short-distance transport where well-maintained and flat roads are available.
|-
| Three-Wheel Skates|| 6 || 4 centimeters (*) || Three-wheeled skates are a type of inline skate (shoes with a line of wheels affixed underneath the shoe) that differ from the more commonly used four wheeled inline skates by having three larger wheels. They are inexpensive and easy to maintain, but they require significant skill to use effectively and the user is reliant on smooth surfaces to skate around on. Another downside is that the wheels cannot be removed from the shoes, requiring the user to either carry an extra pair or have an extra pair at their destination.
|-
| {{w|Roller Skates}}|| 8 || 2 centimeters (*) || Roller skates are shoes with small wheels underneath them in a rectangular pattern. This makes roller skates much more stable than inline skates, allowing users to stand on them with more ease. Like inline skates they are cheap and low maintenance, but in order to move any significant distance without support they require a skilled user, smooth surfaces and the user needs backup shoes when taking them off (though there exist strap-on roller skates).
|-
| {{w|Semi-Trailer Truck}} (Articulated Lorry) || 10-18 || 1 meter || A semi-trailer truck is a motorized vehicle designed to pull trailers that can be easily decoupled from the truck itself. This allows the truck to switch trailers and move a different cargo without having to unload the trailer. The name in brackets that was used here (articulated lorry) is a name most commonly used in British English (or "artic", for short), with articulation meaning that the truck can swivel at the point where the truck connects to the trailer. This allows for the truck to make much tighter turns than if it were one long vehicle, which is another advantage of this configuration, with typically more stability than with a {{w|Drawbar (haulage)|drawbar}} attachment. Trucks are designed to haul cargo for long distances, with the cargo in question being either too heavy or too large to carry with a smaller hopper, tanker, hard-/soft-sided container or flatbed placed entirely upon a single truck chassis. They are driven either by drivers employed by a transport company, or by self-employed individuals who haul cargo for a living. A specialized license is required to drive one, and because of their size (even without a trailer), trucks have more limitations on where they can drive and park than normal cars. Like cars, trucks are a source of leisure, but because of the higher cost to purchase, maintain and drive them, they are more often enjoyed for their aesthetics rather than actually driving them for leisure. There are events like races for trucks, and trucks can be given elaborate paint jobs to have them stand out.
The number of wheels is for both the {{w|Tractor unit#Axles|truck}} and a {{w|Semi-trailer#Types|trailer}}, which can each differ vastly between vehicle configurations. The truck in the comic has five ''obvious'' axle-sets (thus at least ten actual wheels): a single pair of front wheels, two pairs of trailer-bearing rear wheels and two pairs of wheels on the trailer itself. The drawing of the truck actually spans the axis range of three wheels (unlikely to be true, and the minimum for a tractor-trailer would normally be six) all the way up to 16, so it's not entirely clear which number (≥10) Randall intends this one to portray. Most of the other illustrations are roughly centered over the relevant number of wheels, but applying this to the truck implies six wheels, which is clearly wrong as illustrated.
|}

(*) It seems that Randall has made some mistakes in regards to the wheel sizes, especially in the centimeter range of the diagram. Most of the vehicles have bigger wheels and the number would suggest that he meant inches instead of centimeters. Alternatively, he may have mistakenly recorded the wheels' radius instead of its diameter, as intended.

==Transcript==

:[A chart picturing many wheeled vehicles with a caption below the chart window. The vertical axis is labeled "Wheel Diameter", logarithmic from 1cm to 5m. The horizontal axis is labeled "Number of wheels", logarithmic from 1 to 16. From top left to bottom right, there is a person with a cap, seated in a circle, labeled "1920s monowheel", a monster truck with a skull and a lightning bolt on the side, a lorry (truck), a Cueball on a unicycle moving back and forth, a Cueball on a bicycle, a car, a Cueball using a Onewheel, a Cueball on a child's "Big Wheel" tricycle, a Cueball on a quad, a Cueball standing on a scooter, a Cueball standing on a board with one small wheel bellow, circled and labeled with two question marks, a three-wheel scooter, a skater, a Cueball using three-wheel skates, labeled "three-wheel skates", a Cueball crouching and using skates, and a small Cueball using shoes with wheels (Heelys) moving forward.]
:Caption: My new monocaster board fills a key gap in the wheeled vehicle market.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Scatter plots]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Characters with hats]]
[[Category:Skateboard]]

User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly

2026-04-02T03:22:55Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

*Score: {{#cscore:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|score}}
*Pages edited: {{#cscore:Qwertyuiopfromdefly}} of {{NUMBEROFPAGES}}
*Total edits: {{#cscore:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|changes}}

== my userboxes ==
{{Userbox | border-c = #099 | border-s = 3 | info-s = 9 | info-c = #a4a|id = COOL TEXT| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|this user has some idea of what the little thingies in this userbox mean]] | float = left}}
{{Userbox | border-c = #033 | border-s = 3| info-s = 9 | info-c = #a4a|id = COOL TEXT| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|this user has yet to open explain xkcd on a non-mobile device]] | float = right}}

== Things I find cool ==
[https://euphoria.leet.nu/room/xkcd]

==Questions==
how do you create subpages?

why is there a </div> underneath the discussion on the main page?

== testing ==
{{Userbox | border-c = #099 | border-s = 3 | info-s = 9 | info-c = #a4a|id = COOL TEXT|id-c = #a5ffff| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Testing text]] | float = left}}
{{soup}}

1256: Questions

2026-03-24T04:02:29Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: /* Section Ten */ changed "typcally to " typically

{{distinguish|1448: Question|common=Questions}}
{{comic
| number = 1256
| date = August 26, 2013
| title = Questions
| image = questions.png
| titletext = To whoever typed 'why is arwen dying': GOOD. FUCKING. QUESTION.
}}
A larger version of the picture can be found [https://xkcd.com/1256/large here].

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|
;Does not explain the juxtaposition jokes
This article is a little overly literal and fails to explain the actual recurring joke of the comic, which is the juxtaposition of related searches in specific orders for a humorous implication. For example, the [[#Section Six|series of spider-related searches]] capped with, "Why are spider bites itchy?", implying that the person who was distressed about all the spiders has been bitten. Simply including the answers to the questions doesn't actually explain the source of humor.}}
{{w|Google}} has a feature known as [https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/106230?hl=en autocomplete] that guesses at search queries before they are fully typed out. These guesses are generally made based on popular searches by other people. From time to time, a particularly strange or hilarious one may be found, as is evidenced in this comic.

All the questions in the comic are "why" questions, so many of them are predicated on false assumptions, such as "Why are there pyramids on the Moon". Originally, all these questions and many more (33,171 in total) could be found at [http://xkcd.com/why.txt xkcd.com/why.txt] (now defunct, [https://web.archive.org/web/20170510061043/https://xkcd.com/why.txt archived version]).

There are many reasons Randall may have chosen to highlight so many disparate questions without answers. Some questions have simple answers, some are difficult, some have many different potential answers, but all of them show humans seeking knowledge. There are no stupid questions.

The sections below explain each question by splitting the comic into arbitrary blocks. As a general rule, section numbers work top to bottom, then right to left. A Reddit user has also [https://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/1l3na7/questions/cbvigrd answered all the questions].

===Title text===
The title text is a reference to the Peter Jackson films of {{w|The Lord of the Rings (film series)|''The Lord of the Rings'' trilogy}}, where Arwen becomes sickly for unspecified reasons as the plot advances, apparently giving Aragorn a more personal reason to fight. The only explanation given is by Elrond, who says "As Sauron's power grows, her [Arwen's] strength wanes." This subplot is entirely absent from the {{w|The Lord of the Rings|original novels}}.

From [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0167260/faq#.2.1.21 IMDB]: <blockquote>
Arwen, like her father (and brothers) is considered to be a Half-Elf, the result of a union between an Elf and a mortal human. The Half-Elven of Middle-earth get a choice, to remain immortal and return to the West (Valinor) or to become mortal and to die as humans do. Elrond chose to remain an Elf. Arwen (like her uncle Elros) chooses to become mortal in order to wed and remain with Aragorn. Elrond senses this; this is what he means when he says that Arwen is dying. It is the same as in The Last Unicorn, when the unicorn is given the form of a human woman and can feel that she is no longer immortal ("I can feel this body dying all around me"). According to Tolkien, though, after Aragorn dies in the year 120 (Fourth Age), Arwen returns to Lórien, where she dies by choice the following winter. </blockquote>

===Illustrated panels===

; Why aren't my arms growing?
: Arms stop growing because longer arms would not be a very useful way to spend resources. Human DNA has programmed the body to gradually ossify (turn to bone) the growing arms and legs, closing the {{w|epiphyseal plate}} (the flat plate at the end of each long bone), at which point they stop growing. Alternately, the muscles of the arm, which may have been the intended subject of the question, may fail to grow if not exercised with appropriate resistance, repetition or frequency; if nutrition is insufficient; if insufficient recovery time is given; or if sufficient levels of certain hormones like growth hormone or testosterone are not present.

; Why are there ghosts?
: There is no hard evidence of ghosts. The reason you are seeing ghosts could be {{w|pareidolia}} or some {{w|cognitive bias}}.

; Why are there squirrels?
: Squirrels are the product of a long sequence of evolution, like any other animal. They persist because they effectively reproduce and compete for resources within their niche, but they are also the product of many circumstantial events that has led to them being the way they are.

; Why is sex so important?
: Sex is important biologically because it is the primary method of reproduction in many different species. It is important culturally because it causes hard-to-control urges that affect behaviour, plays an important role in human relationships, and serves as a key form of [https://www.dissentmagazine.org/article/seizing-means-reproduction-laura-briggs-reproductive-politics-review/ reproductive labor]. However, it can be of varying importance to different people (see [https://www.asexuality.org/home/?q=overview.html asexuality]).

; Why aren't there guns in Harry Potter?
: In the ''{{w|Harry Potter}}'' universe, [https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Gun guns ''do'' exist] and are mentioned at the beginning of ''{{w|Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban}}'', when the news gives a warning that Sirius Black has one. Muggle technology (human inventions) are often looked down on by wizards - the majority of half-blooded wizards won't touch one, let alone a wizard extremist like {{w|Voldemort}}. Not only does any Muggle device more complex than a wristwatch interfere with magical artifacts, but wands are usually more versatile than most guns; a revolver can't shoot lightning, summon items, or teleport its user. Finally, while Harry himself may or may not consider using firearms due to his Muggle upbringing, ''Harry Potter'' is set in the United Kingdom (which has stricter gun laws than, say, the United States).

===Vertical questions===

; Why is there hell if God forgives?
: There is not a single answer to this question. The answer varies based on the religion and that religion's sect mixed with personal interpretations of that religions scripture and how a person decides to follow it. However, the idea of what Hell will be like also varies. There is no one answer to this question, but the easiest explanation is that the individual did not pray hard enough, correctly, was not part of the right religion, and their forgiveness was contingent on something that the person either did not do or know to do (or say or think).

; Why do iguanas die?
: All living things die,{{cn}} but iguanas may suffer from [https://www.anapsid.org/iguana/kidneyfailure.html kidney failure].

; Why is GPS free?
: GPS was originally developed by the U.S. military for its own use, not for commercial purposes. However, the government realized that free GPS would have a significant bonus for the economy and would prevent disasters like the {{w|Korean Air Lines Flight 007}} where a plane was shot down after accidentally entering Soviet airspace, and in 1983 President Reagan declared that the US would make GPS available to all. At one point, "{{w|selective availability}}" was used to degrade performance for civilian users, but since 2000 this has also been switched off.

; Why are trees tall?
: Tall is a relative term, and Redwoods are famous for their height - among the tallest in the world. The reason for this is, in part [https://www.nps.gov/redw/faqs.htm climate, fog, rain, good soil, few predators, among others].

; Why are there female Mr. Mimes?
: {{w|Mr. Mime}} is a Pokémon introduced in the first generation of the games, and despite its name, it can be either of a male or female gender. As the Pokémon was introduced before the concept of [https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Gender gender in Pokémon games], it is likely that the people in charge of translating its Japanese name (Barrierd) did not take this into account during the process.

; Why is there lava?
: {{w|Lava}} is magma (molten rock) which is at the Earth's surface. Magma in the Earth comes from the melting of rock due to rising heat from deeper within the planet. {{w|Earth's internal heat budget|This heat}} is about half radiogenic and half primordial (left over from the formation and differentiation of the Earth). Most of the crust and mantle of the Earth is solid rock, but in places (usually controlled by plate tectonics, but {{w|Hawaii hotspot|not always}}) where the heat is high enough the minerals with lowest melting point start to melt and then migrate upwards towards the surface. This melt collects in {{w|Magma chamber|magma chambers}}, in which the magma may start to cool and crystallize. Sometimes it will crystallize completely, becoming an underground solid body called a pluton. Other times melt will keep migrating upwards until it reaches the surface and erupts as lava, forming a {{w|volcano}} or undersea vent.

; Why is YKK on all zippers?
: {{w|YKK}} Group is the name of a large group of Japanese manufacturing companies, which among other things manufacture a lot of zippers. YKK zippers are also considered to be some of the best available, so a clothing maker including a YKK zipper would likely leave the YKK name on, instead of getting no branding or rebranding them.

; Why is life so boring?
: It is up to an individual to find meaning and interest in life. Monotony, predictability, and lack of physical and intellectual stimulation would lead to a feeling of boredom.

; Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts?
: Ghosts are a supernatural phenomenon that have not been empirically proven to exist. Those who believe in ghosts implicitly believe in a soul (of which a ghost is a materialization of), and it is a commonly held belief by religious institutions and ghost-hunters that animals do not have souls and thus dinosaurs would not have any either.

; Why is there no king in England?
: At the time of publication, {{w|Elizabeth II}} was the Queen of England, and continued to be so for another decade, ending up having been so for over 70 years.

:In colloquial usage, any married couple reigning over a monarchy is known as the king and queen. For the past several hundred years, there has almost always been a queen in England, the sole exceptions being when the king has not had a wife. (Also, "England" is commonly used as the equivalent to "The United Kingdom", often incorrectly.) However, there is a distinction between being the Queen of England (that is to say, {{w|List of British monarchs|a monarch}} in her own right) and any {{w|queen consort|Queen ''Consort''}} of England (the woman married to, or who later marries, the man who has become its King).

:Monarchies tend to strongly select for Kings (with or without consorts). At times of strife, very few {{w|Empress Matilda|'queen's}} enter the fray. Peaceful {{w|succession to the British throne}} has been for a long governed in England by {{w|male-preference cognatic primogeniture}} which disproportionately favours male descendants. And British laws and customs have been generally built around the presumption that the monarch would be a man, and that man would be married to a woman, [[223: Valentine's Day|comic 223]] be damned. The consort (wife) to the King may be popularly styled as "Queen <her name>" but would not normally be a functional title. If she survives her husband, {{w|Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother|her continued use of the honorific}} does not exclude the successive monarch having (or being) a new queen.

:Despite everything, throughout the {{w|Acts of Union 1707|current continuity of the modern British throne}} two women have begun to reign as Queen in their own right. It just so happens that these two have been two of the longest-reigning monarchs in world history, {{w|Queen Victoria}} and Queen Elizabeth II herself. Both of these have been influential and famed not just in 'England' but around the world, and this fact may add to people noting the rare but conspicuous lack of an 'English' king historically (despite five times as many actual Kings). This is especially true within the living memory of those who asked the questions in the comic, who may never have lived through the time prior to Elizabeth II.

:The title of "{{w|king consort}}" exists but has not been used. Instead Victoria and Elizabeth's respective consorts, {{w|Albert, Prince Consort|Albert}} and {{w|Prince Philip|Philip}}, were given alternate titles — Albert as {{w|Prince Consort}} and Philip as "{{w|British prince|Prince of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland}}" (both commonly referred to as "Prince ..."). These titles being by gift of their own queen and spouse, though Albert was already formally a prince of {{w|Saxe-Coburg and Gotha}} whilst Philip had previously been prince of {{w|Danish royal family|Denmark}} and {{w|Greek royal family|Greece}} but had renounced both titles before marrying then-Princess Elizabeth. Earlier in history, various {{w|Mary II of England|co-ruling queens}}, and {{w|Elizabeth I|unmarried queens}} had also avoided any need for the "consort" title.

:Much more recently, the system of male-preference {{w|Succession to the Crown Act 2013|was changed}} to ''absolute'' primogeniture, where (for all those born after 2011) males are no longer favoured over females, in the otherwise strict chronology of descent. Should the monarchy continue onwards without further social change, there are now likely to be far more actual Queens in the future (with or without consorts); however, already the first three members of Elizabeth II's senior line of descent are male: Prince Charles, as was, Elizabeth's eldest son; Prince William, Charles's eldest son; and Prince George, William's eldest child (being born in 2013).

:It would still likely take a while (or unpredictable circumstances) before England has its next Queen in her own right and the question becomes relevent again. Since Elizabeth's death in September 2022, {{w|Charles III}} has indeed automatically become the King of England, and his current wife {{w|Camilla, Queen consort of the United Kingdom|Camilla}} is Queen Consort (but not formally the Queen of England). No further children are expected, nor would any normally change the immediate line of succession. The second child of William, {{w|Princess Charlotte of Cornwall and Cambridge|Princess Charlotte}} (born 2015), now rises accordingly to be third in line from Charles — behind William and her elder brother, at least until such time as George might himself eventually have an heir of his own, male or female.

; Why do I feel dizzy?
: Balance is achieved from fluids in the inner ear, but {{w|Dizziness#Epidemiology|dizziness}} can have nearly a dozen causes.

; Why are dogs afraid of fireworks?
: Loud noises can trigger their flight or fight responses when they are [https://www.cesarsway.com/dogbehavior/hyperdog/How-to-Keep-Your-Dog-Safe-and-Calm-During-Fireworks nervous].

; Why are there weeks?
: Weeks were originally important for religious reasons, primarily the requirement to observe a sabbath (day of rest) every seventh day. Today it is used to create a common schedule that doesn't change due to month length, much like the months divide a year to be able to schedule things like dentist appointments. Similarly, hours and minutes divide a day making it possible to create a schedule.

===Section One===
; Why do whales jump?
: Partly to get air, partly because it's an effective way to catch prey near the surface, and partly because they just seem to find it fun - it's like going into outer space!{{Actual citation needed}}

; Why are witches green?
: See {{w|The Wizard of Oz (1939 film)|The Wizard of Oz}}. The Wicked Witch' green skin looked really good in the film's {{w|Technicolor}}.

; Why are there mirrors above beds?
: Often, these are used by couples to view themselves during sex.

; Why do I say Uh?
: See ''[https://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/05/06/the_odd_body_language_fillers/ Why do we say 'um', 'er', or 'ah' when we hesitate in speaking?]''.

; Why is sea salt better?
: The question likely refers to the difference between common {{w|Fortified table salt}} and usually more expensive sea salt. While a major part of both of these is sodium chloride (NaCl) the idea behind the claim is the different composition mostly in regard to trace elements of sea salt compared to "normal" salt. Table salt's composition is often influenced by a country's health department and thus addition of trace elements is regulated. While these regulations are based on scientific studies there remain to be debates concerning the additions, such as iodine.

; Why are there trees in the middle of fields?
: Many images of fields contain singular trees in the middle of them. While there exist such trees it is likely an artistic choice to give a more pleasing or aesthetically satisfying image compared to just a field. In modern agriculture those would in fact be quite troublesome since they are a hindrance to large machines used and a new tree would be unlikely to grow in a constantly worked field, although they can be useful in fields for grazing animals, since they provide shade. Before mechanized agriculture, such trees would also be planted to give the workers a place to rest in the shade without having to go all the way back from a large field.

; Why is there not a Pokémon MMO?
: {{w|Pokémon}} is a popular franchise, spanning game consoles, anime series, a trading card game, and many other things. Among fans, it is a frequent topic of discussion why a Pokémon {{w|massively multiplayer online game}} has not been officially announced by the series' developers {{w|Game Freak}}, as they often [https://www.dorkly.com/comic/52546/be-careful-what-you-wish-for predict] that such a game would be extremely popular and bring in massive revenue for the company. However, if Game Freak were to develop a Pokémon MMO the MMOs would be strong competition against the console games and therefore reducing the Pokémon demographic significantly. The mobile app {{w|Pokémon Go}} has since partly filled the MMO niche, with multiplayer interactivity through item drops and fighting at gyms.

; Why is there laughing in TV shows?
: Sitcoms were once filmed with an audience, so the actors could respond to their reactions. That's the historical reason there were laughs in TV shows. The tradition continues, with the difference that now the laughter mostly comes from recorded tapes. See {{w|Laugh track}}.

; Why are there doors on the freeway?
: Highway/freeway {{w|noise barrier|noise barriers}} sometimes have doors in them to allow workers access to both sides of the barrier. They also serve as emergency exits in case of large traffic collisions (which can cause fire and smoke), for people to leave on foot.

; Why are there so many svchost.exe running?
: See {{w|svchost.exe}}.

; Why aren't there any countries in Antarctica?
: {{w|Antarctica}} is the southernmost continent and is by large covered in ice and in general pretty cold. While it is a regular target of tourists and researchers it also lacks native human inhabitants. At the moment, the territorial claims concerning Antarctica are mostly handled via the {{w|Antarctic Treaty System}}. In short there are a few countries who claim certain parts of the continent as their own in theory but so far it is considered neutral territory and most maps don't concern themselves with displaying the (in some regards disputed) territorial claims because they do not matter at this point in time. If there are ever any worthwhile resources discovered, this might change.

; Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft?
: To add atmosphere and to give players hints when there is a dark cave nearby. See [https://minecraft.wiki/w/Ambience Ambience Minecraft Wiki].

; Why is there kicking in my stomach?
: See ''[https://www.webmd.com/baby/fetal-movement-feeling-baby-kick Feeling Your Baby Kick]''. Here, ''stomach'' means ''abdomen''.

; Why are there two slashes after http?
: See ''[https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1220286/Sir-Tim-Berners-Lee-admits-forward-slashes-web-address-mistake.html Sir Tim Berners-Lee admits the forward slashes in every web address 'were a mistake']''.

; Why are there celebrities?
: There are certain people who are more respected and well-known than other people, whether it be because of their acting career, major advancements to science, or a sex tape.

; Why do snakes exist?
: The question is rather general and likely based on a widespread dislike for the reptilians. Be it due to their appearance, their spread, or the danger a few snakes pose to humans (often due to being venomous) many people have a dislike for snakes and would prefer them to not exist (similar to spiders). In regard to "why do snakes exist on earth?": Because evolution. Snakes fill a gap in the ecosystem as predators and hunt different species, including vermin. Snakes are in that regard similar to many other predatory animals. The question on why snakes developed with their distinct streamlined shape is still debated but {{w|snakes|likely it either provided an advantage when burrowing or swimming}}.

; Why do oysters have pearls?
: {{w|Pearl}}s are formed inside the shell of certain mollusks as a defense mechanism against a potentially threatening irritant such as a parasite inside the shell, or an attack from outside, injuring the mantle tissue. The mollusk creates a pearl sac to seal off the irritation. Pearls are commonly viewed by scientists as a by-product of an adaptive immune system-like function.

; Why are ducks called ducks?
: See {{w|Duck#Etymology|Duck § Etymology}}. {{Wiktionary|duck|According to Wiktionary}}, the noun ''duck'' can be traced back to the {{w|Proto-Germanic language|Proto-Germanic}} word {{Wiktionary|Appendix:Proto-Germanic/dūkaną|''dūkaną''}} ("to dive, bend down"), and, in turn, the {{w|Proto-Indo-European language|Proto-Indo-European}} {{Wiktionary|Appendix:Proto-Indo-European/dʰewb-|''dʰewb-''}} ("deep, hollow"), which is the origin of the verb ''to duck''. The link between the noun and the verb comes from ducks' tendency to dive under water for short periods of time.

; Why do they call it the clap?
: Paris' medieval Red Light district was called "les clapiers" (the rabbit cages), therefore people were getting {{w|gonorrhea}} there

; Why are Kyle and Cartman friends?
: The question relates to the TV show {{w|South Park}}. Both are children living in the small titular town in Colorado. Cartman is widely accepted to a be very bad person, one of his many character flaws being his antisemitism. Kyle on the other hand is a Jew. However, both, along with two other kids, Stan and Kenny, are the core focus of the show (or used to be) and to some extents are considered to be friends. While there are episodes which show Cartman being not entirely a horrible person and him holding Kyle in a position of at least a worthy adversary, most of the time the question should be "Why is anyone friends with Cartman?" However, they most likely remain "friends" because they are in the same class at school and are therefore "forced" to be around one another.

; Why is there an arrow on Aang's head?
: {{w|Avatar: The Last Airbender#Characters|Aang}} is the main character of the TV series {{w|Avatar the last Airbender|Avatar - The Last Airbender}} and features as part of a large body spanning tattoo an arrow on his head. These tattoos are made to replicate the markings of one of the shows fictional animals, the air bison which are regarded as the original air benders. They are given to human air benders once they attain the status of masters. Because Aang acquired this status very early in life he was already tattooed accordingly.

; Why are text messages blue?
: This likely refers to iMessage chat being blue. These messages are blue when sending a message to another Apple device. When sent as an RCS or SMS message, they will be green.

; Why are there mustaches on clothes?
: Because some people buy them. Mustaches, especially handlebar-style mustaches, were a popular fad at the time of this comic.

; Why are there mustaches on cars?
: Fuzzy pink mustaches are used to designate cars in the {{w|Lyft}} service.

; Why are there mustaches everywhere?
: See {{w|Movember}}

; Why are there so many birds in Ohio?
: There are an estimated [https://oh.audubon.org/bsc/SOTB.html 400 bird species] in {{w|List of birds of Ohio|Ohio}}, but there are [https://www.jstor.org/discover/2419997sid=21104910103541&uid=4&uid=3739776&uid=2&uid=3739256 2.74 nesting pairs per acre].

; Why is there so much rain in Ohio?
: {{w|lake_effect|Lake-effect}} rain develops in the same manner as lake-effect snow.

; Why is Ohio weather so weird?
: See {{w|Lake-effect snow}}.

===Section Two===

; Why are there male and female bikes?
: Historically, women's {{w|bicycle}} frames had a top tube that connected in the middle of the seat tube instead of the top, resulting in a lower {{w|Frame geometry|standover height}} at the expense of compromised structural integrity, since this places a strong bending load in the seat tube, and bicycle frame members are typically weak in bending. This design, referred to as a {{w|step-through frame}} or as an open frame, allows the rider to mount and dismount in a dignified way while wearing a skirt or dress.</blockquote>

; Why are there bridesmaids?
: See {{w|Bridesmaid#Origin and history|Bridesmaid § Origin and history}}.

; Why do dying people reach up?
: In many works of fiction dying people are regarded with an outstretched arm, grasping for unseen objects towards the sky. In all likelihood this originates in the idea of heaven as the place where (good) people go after death. People "reach for the light" which is seen when dying according to similar beliefs or possibly for already dead relatives or other associated people waiting for them. An alternative hypothesis is that they want to hug/touch their loved ones one last time.

; Why aren't there varicose arteries?
: Blood moves through veins due to irregular pressure from skeletal muscles combined with valves to control direction. In varicose veins these valves malfunction affecting blood flow. In arteries blood flow is produced directly from pressure caused by the heart.

; Why are old Klingons different?
: {{w|Klingon Redesign|From Wikipedia}}: <blockquote>For {{w|Star Trek: The Motion Picture}} (1979), the Klingons were retconned, and their appearance and behavior radically changed. To give the aliens a more sophisticated and threatening demeanor, the Klingons were depicted with ridged foreheads, snagged and prominent teeth, and a defined language and alphabet. Lee Cole, a production designer, used red gels and primitive shapes in the design of Klingon consoles and ship interiors, which took on a dark and moody atmosphere. The alphabet was designed as angular, with sharp edges harkening to the Klingon's militaristic focus.[5] Costume designer Robert Fletcher created new uniforms for the Klingons, reminiscent of feudal Japanese armor.</blockquote>Additionally, there is an in-universe explanation: A [https://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Klingon_augment_virus Klingon augment virus] was deployed to make enhanced warriors, but accidentally made weaker Klingons with human-like features. These afflicted Klingons were the ones seen in the original series.

; Why is programming so hard?
: Programming is the art of writing instructions for a computer to do. Since the computer has a limited set of instructions for you to use it involves a new way of thinking for many. It is also hard because the computer itself is not smart or adaptable to unexpected problems. For instance, when humans are told to sort books in a shelf, they can do that even if there are things in the way (simply moving them to the side). A computer will generally just crash if it doesn't have instructions on how to deal with the unexpected problem.

; Why is there a 0 Ohm resistor?
: A resistor is usually designed to create a certain resistance, measured in {{w|Ohm}} in an electronic device. A 0 Ohm resistor seems pointless as it would only provide the same resistance as a normal cable. However, a 0 Ohm resistor works as an easy way to connect two points of a circuit board utilizing the same machines used to place other resistors. Wikipedia's {{w|Zero-ohm link}} article gives a good explanation.

; Why do Americans hate soccer?
: Soccer, or (association) football in British English, is rather unpopular in the USA compared to most other regions of the world. Finding a particular reason behind the (dis)like for certain sports, apart from cultural spread, is difficult. One possible explanation is soccer's tendency to have far fewer points scored in an average game and a higher likelihood of draws compared to such things as American Football, basketball or baseball, which are far more popular. In how far this is a legitimate argument for regarding soccer as "less interesting" is up to debate. The assumption that Americans dislike soccer is also somewhat dated; the national Womens' team is the most successful in the world, having won 4 FIFA Women's World Cups and consistently encouraging more youngsters to take up the sport. Unfortunately, when it comes to the professional game, the National Soccer League still has a long way to go to catch up with the dominance and name recognition of the NFL (American football) (due primarily to the spectacle of the Super Bowl), the MLB (baseball) (partly credited to the dominance of the New York Yankees and the pageantry of the World Series), and the NBA (basketball), due to the makeup of the American professional sports industry during its golden years in the 1970s & 80s.

; Why do rhymes sound good?
: The brain enjoys repetition, especially in music.

; Why do trees die?
: Some common reasons include lack of water, lack of nitrogen in the soil, soil, root and wind damage, and being chopped down.

; Why is there no sound on CNN?
: Some stations broadcast a {{w|second audio program}}, an alternative soundtrack that your TV can be configured to use instead of the primary program. This is intended to be used for broadcasting in an alternate language, or for {{w|Descriptive Video Service}} to make a program accessible to the visually impaired. Many programs that don't actually use SAP will still broadcast an SAP that is identical to the primary program; however, this is not required. If your TV is configured to use SAP and a particular channel isn't broadcasting SAP at that time, there won't be any sound.

; Why aren't Pokémon real?
: Pokémon are fantasized creatures that were designed to produce an interesting battle mechanic in a game. Some of the Pokémons abilities would be impossible on earth as we know it. For instance, Magcargo is [https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Magcargo#Trivia hotter than the surface of the sun].

; Why aren't bullets sharp?
: See {{w|Terminal ballistics}}.

; Why do dreams seem so real?
: Most dreams occur during a stage known as REM (Rapid Eye Movement). During REM, your brain is highly active, and its wave pattern is the same as the wave patterns in a person who is awake. It should be noted that dreams can occur during other stages of sleep but most dreams that are vivid occur during the REM stage.

===Section Three===

; Why do testicles move?
: The scrotum shrinks and expands to account for temperature changes.

; Why are there psychics?
: A {{w|Psychic}} is a supposed user of anomalous powers. Studies have classified psychic powers as pseudoscience. The existence of psychics appears to be as an economic incentive.

; Why are hats so expensive?
: Hats can be expensive depending on the quality of material, size, location, and demand. A probable answer is that hats are simply difficult to make, causing high prices. Another likely cause is the fact that hats are not widely worn in much of the western world and people who do wear them often have far fewer than they have, for example, shirts, meaning that manufacturers cannot get the same economies of scale in production and distribution.

; Why is there caffeine in my shampoo?
: Because the producers want you to believe that caffeine penetrates the hair roots and thereby somehow protects it from negative testosterone impacts and from premature hair loss.

; Why do your boobs hurt?
: Common reasons are a badly fitted bra, breast growth, or {{w|PMS}}. It could also be a hormone imbalance, breastfeeding, large or awkwardly shaped breasts or a serious condition such as {{w|breast cancer}}.

===Section Four===

; Why aren't economists rich?
: Economists study how society organizes resources but, contrary to the popular misconception, don't focus much on the short-term behavior of the stock market (a system that is still poorly understood). In order to become rich, in most cases one has to own a commodity that produces more wealth, such as a large company, or be related to somebody who has done so. In rare cases, a particularly lucky individual could become rich by having an unusually high paying job, such as a famous actor or sports star. Neither of these situations are likely for someone studying the field of economics. Some economists do get very rich as strategists for banks and businesses, but most are just academics and analysts.

; Why do Americans call it soccer?
: {{w|Association football}} is called "soccer" ("association" + "-er") in US English because {{w|American Football}} is the more popular version there. Of note is that the word "soccer" originates on British soil, to distinguish it from Rugby football aka "rugger".

; Why are my ears ringing?
: {{w|Tinnitus}}, or ringing of the ears, can result from stress, foreign objects in the ear, hearing damage, wax build up, or any other number of causes.

; Why are there so many Avengers?
: The number of Avengers has {{w|List of Avengers members|varied greatly}} over the years and decades, each time with its own justification for why they need to work together, but the simplest answer is money. Cross-branding and cross-merchandising is successful to the brand and brings in new readers, plus creates a new franchise to profit from.

; Why are the Avengers fighting the X Men
: {{w|Avengers vs. X-Men}} was a 2012 Marvel crossover event that, like many other recent comic book events, had heroes fight other heroes. In this case, the {{w|Avengers (comics)|Avengers}} and the {{w|X-Men}} fought over the {{w|Phoenix Force (comics)|Phoenix Force}}, a godlike power that often possesses {{w|Jean Grey}} or her descendants (in this case, her alternate universe daughter Hope Summers). The Avengers believed the Phoenix Force is too powerful for humanity to control and wanted to contain it, while the X-Men believed the Phoenix was the messiah for mutants and could fix all of the Earth's problems.

; Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers
: Wolverine ''has'' been an Avenger, in some circumstances. e.g. in the {{w|The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes}} cartoon series, the episode ''New Avengers'' had Wolverine (along with Spider-man, War Machine, The Thing and Luke Cage and Iron Fist) substitute while the 'original' Avengers were unavailable to deal with the current crisis (which of course included the fate of the 'proper' Avengers). However, in general his anti-authority personality makes him a difficult team-member to field, and he has frequently disassociated himself even from the X-Men. But, in Avengers vs. X-Men (see above) Wolverine ''sided'' with The Avengers, and more modern treatments have even included the character in about as much a permanent a membership of the group as Logan is ever likely to have. But if the question is about why Wolverine didn't appear in {{w|The Avengers (2012 film)|''The Avengers''}}, the answer is that ''The Avengers'' is being produced by Marvel/Disney, while Fox still has the rights to the X-Men and all Marvel mutants in general. Unless there is studio agreement, the two properties cannot cross, except through complicated machinations. For example, there were plans to bring Avengers mainstays Quicksilver and The Scarlet Witch to both the ''Avengers'' and ''X-Men'' franchises (plans which successfully came to pass after this comic was written) but only the Fox films had the right to call them the children of Magneto at the time, and Marvel/Disney couldn't even identify them on-screen as "mutants".

===Section Five===

; Why are there ants in my laptop?
: Ants usually come in your laptop when there are little crumbs of food. It is advised to get screen protectors.

; Why is Earth tilted?
: The Earth's axial "tilt", wherein its axis of rotation is not perpendicular it its orbit, is a result of conservation of momentum when the Earth was formed, because not everything orbits in the same way. This is pure happenstance.

; Why is space black?
: What we call black is the absence of light. Space is mostly empty, and although there are many stars, the light from most of these stars hasn't reached us yet. In addition, a lot of light has been stretched by {{w|redshift}} so it's no longer visible to us. See {{w|Olbers' paradox}}

; Why is outer space so cold?
: It's hard to actually define a temperature for space - it's empty, so there's nothing to measure. However, most of space has very little radiation hitting it, so a person won't receive any energy, but will still radiate some away, resulting in a net loss of energy, colloquially "heat." Around the Earth, objects in direct sunlight will actually get very hot. In deep space, there is almost no warming radiation.

; Why are there pyramids on the moon?
: There are no pyramids on the moon. However, the appearance of mountains and some craters on the moon have fooled some into believing there are pyramids on the moon, but these claims are false.

; Why is NASA shutting down?
: NASA isn't shutting down. This question might have something to do with the {{w|United States federal government shutdown of 2013}} or perhaps due to the {{w|Space Shuttle program}} ending in 2011, but that is not the entirety of NASA.

===Section Six===

; Why are there tiny spiders in my house?

; Why do spiders come inside?

; Why are there huge spiders in my house?

; Why are there lots of spiders in my house?

; Why are there spiders in my room?

; Why are there so many spiders in my room?
: During autumn in particular male spiders reaching maturing will set off to find a mate. By chance they may end up in your house. When encountering spiders in large numbers, it is more likely that they are young from the same female spider. Females lay {{w|Spider#Reproduction_and_life_cycle|up to 3,000}} eggs at a time. These questions also play off of Munroe's longstanding fear of spiders, especially the [[8: Red spiders|red spiders]] mentioned in [[:Category:Red Spiders|several early comics]].

; Why do spider bites itch?
: This mostly happens as an immune response to [https://www.mnn.com/health/fitness-well-being/stories/why-do-mosquito-bites-itch histamines] under the skin which are injected through saliva. This entire string of questions is intended as a joke, the implication being that they all came from one person whose house (and later room) was taken over by spiders which then bit them.

; Why is dying so scary?
: Part of human nature is the fear of the unknown, and death is the ultimate unknown because it is not knowable until it's experienced, and there is nobody to report what the result was. This leaves it open to speculation, and many major religions are based on preparing one's soul for death. Also, dying would leave loved ones' families with the responsibility of taking care of their remains and finances. And finally, most people don't want to die, living for as long as possible, possibly because the unknown is too unbearable to cope with. Several causes of death are known to inflict pain to the victim, and fear of pain is an instilled evolutionary safeguard for preventing harm to a sapient creature. Still though several people are not afraid of death and dying, and recognize life is short and to cherish each moment while we can. Death is inevitable, so we should not fear it. In addition, it would be evolutionarily advantageous for our ancestors to have feared and avoided death.

; Why is there no GPS in laptops?
: It is possible for laptops to have a GPS, and some do. But there are [https://security.stackexchange.com/questions/50907/are-there-gps-tracker-for-laptops design difficulties] that have to be overcome including battery draining, room within the crowded device to place a receiver, WiFi can give a location just as well, and the product casing could interfere with its ability to functional normally and receive the signals necessary to operate as intended. Some Dell computers have these, but the privacy one needs to give up accepting the terms and conditions makes it unfavorable.

; Why do knees click?
: Typical of other clicking and cracking of joints, this may be the sound of [https://www.webmd.com/pain-management/knee-pain/features/knee-cracks-pops ligaments tightening]. However, do not rely on a wiki to diagnose a medical condition. Consult a licensed physician.

; Why aren't there E grades?
: E grades [https://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/02/e-f-grading-scale/ actually exist] in some districts, but they are rare. In their long and bizarre history, E was originally used where F is today (E was the lowest grade), but in those systems, students often received E's for an "Excellent" grade, creating much confusion. F was used in place instead and E was eliminated from a standard grading scale.

; Why is isolation bad?
: Isolation is when a person deliberately secludes themselves away from others, often far-removed from society. This can happen in locations as small as a city apartment and as large as the open woods. People evolved as social animals and it is generally held that those who isolate themselves suffer from depression or other forms of psychological imbalance. Of course, society can trigger many of these imbalances causing an individual to isolate themselves. Isolation is often seen as therapeutic so people can spend time with themselves constructively, often finding peace within themselves and through mediation. Monks and hermits generally live in solitude as well. Many people view a decision to be isolated as noble, and others as healthy. While general interaction is largely healthy, in the crowded modern world, isolation is neither good or bad; it depends on the person and what that isolation does to them.

; Why do boys like me?
: Attraction comes in many forms: physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, among others. Some people will lie about what they like about you to get something from you (money, sex, etc.), but most are genuine. It is not possible to assert definitively why one person may like another person, and that is something that needs to be discussed openly and honestly with them and nobody else.

; Why don't boys like me?
: Similar to the answer above about what makes one desirable to another, there are an equal number of factors that make one unappealing. This can include everything from physical appearance to how one treats others. If a person is rude and unfriendly, most people find that not conducive to healthy relationship and avoid the person who is asking. Not being liked by someone you like however does not mean you're wrong or are a bad person and, in most cases, has to do with the person you are asking about.

; Why is there always a Java update?
: [https://www.java.com/en/download/faq/whatis_java.xml Java] is a software that runs on most computers and mobile devices that is crucial to its security and stability. The reason it always updates is because it needs to stay current with the ever-upgrading fleet of browsers, operating systems and software that supports Java. Additionally, Java updates itself so each version can run optimally. Software coding and debugging is a never-ending process towards perfectly stable releases.

; Why are there red dots on my thighs?
: This might be {{w|Petechia}}, which are broken blood vessels, however, do not rely on a wiki to diagnose medical conditions. Consult a licensed physician.

; Why is lying good?
: Lying and other forms of dishonesty is typically seen as bad because it lowers one's credibility and makes them less likely to be trusted in the future. It is almost always advantageous to tell the truth, as lies have a way of escalating as you need to keep expanding on the lie to cover your tracks. There are instances however where lying may be used in more noble circumstances. For example, if a friend asks your opinion on something they have made (such as a poem or painting) that you do not like, it is okay to tell them you like it because protecting their feelings and your relationship is more important than how you feel. Often military personnel are trained to keep national security secrets at all costs and will lie about what they know to save themselves and the country.

===Section Seven===

; Why are there slaves in the bible?
: Slavery was viewed differently in the early years of human civilization before the contemporary moral and ethical conversations began centuries later. The Jewish legal system as presented in the bible {{w|The Bible and slavery|justified slavery}} for a number of reasons, notably to pay off some sort of debt. Slaves were seen as property and their work provided value to the slave owner, but such a relationship was legally required to be temporary, and slaves had some basic human rights. Similarly, slave owners rationalized their ownership through scripture, pointing out that it was in the Bible and therefore okay with God — without wishing to go off on a tangent, if you have to rationalize your system of slavery then it's probably illegal under historic Jewish law.

; Why do twins have different fingerprints?
: Fingerprints are not only from the DNA, but from the conditions in the womb which differ from child to child.

; Why are Americans afraid of dragons?
: This question was the title of a [https://blogs.sfu.ca/courses/spring2012/engl387/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Why-are-Americans-Afraid-of-Dragons.docx 1974 essay] by Ursula K. LeGeuin in which she makes a {{w|Semiotics|semiotic}} analysis of dragon mythology. She argues that our belief in dragons (and those outside of America as well) stems from childhood, much like other ferocious fictional creatures such as goblins and hobbits, but many hold onto these fears as a way of avoiding reality. In her closing argument, she writes, "They know that its truth challenges, even threatens, all that is false, all that is phony, unnecessary, and trivial in the life they have let themselves be forced into living. They are afraid of dragons, because they are afraid of freedom."

; Why is HTTPS crossed out in red?

; Why is there a line through HTTPS?
: The site accessed has an invalid SSL certificate. See [[2634: Red Line Through HTTPS]].

; Why is there a red line through HTTPS on Facebook?
: The website has an invalid SSL certificate. This may be the result of a scam, a misdirection, a typo, or some kind of configuration error in the client or the remote server.

; Why is HTTPS important?
: For security reasons, as a site with HTTPS has encrypted traffic.

===Section Eight===

; Why are there swarms of gnats?
: The reason gnats (and other creatures) tend to swarm together is likely a safety-in-numbers protection, and as a big gathering to find a mate.

; Why is there phlegm?
: {{w|Phlegm#Phlegm|Phlegm}} is a thick, viscous fluid produced by the mucus membranes as a way to clear the airway and aids in the release of bacteria, disease and debris in those passages.

; Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN
: From a Minnesota Paper, [https://www.startribune.com/local/138902104.html the Star Tribune], "Laws prevent the city from poisoning the crows". "Duffy [ {{w|Steve Duffy}}, a co-owner of U.S. Bird Abatement Services, which has contracted with Rochester to get rid of the crows] isn't sure why Rochester has such a bad crow problem; probably a confluence of many bird-friendly conditions that has also made it a magnet for {{w|geese}}. He's seen worse cases but called Rochester's situation 'hideous.'" And best of all, "The city has twice this winter hired experts to chase them off. They tried {{w|lasers}} and bullhorns — hey, get out of here, you crows — and even employed raptors to pick them off, one by one. That worked, for awhile." Unfortunately, they mean a {{w|bird of prey}}, not a {{w|velociraptor}}.

; Why is Psychic weak to Bug
: In Pokémon, Pokémon of the Psychic type like Alakazam are weak to three types of attacks: Ghost, Dark, and Bug. The general theory is that Psychic Pokémon, relying heavily on their thoughts for attacks, are weak to fears, which ghosts, darkness, and bugs can be classified as.

; Why do children get cancer?
: {{w|Cancer}} is an aggressive and often fatal disease that has the potential to affect all humans as well as other organisms. There are multiple types of cancer, each with their own epidemiology, but children are not immune to succumbing to the horrific effects of the disease. Children are subject to the same illnesses adults have, regardless of age, or their innocence. There is no divine or supernatural explanation for this. Simply put, life is a battle for all humans regardless of how small they are.

; Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus?
: {{w|Poseidon}} was the patron deity of the city of {{w|Troy}}, which after a 10-year siege by the Greeks fell due to {{w|Odysseus}}' strategem of the {{w|Trojan_Horse|Trojan horse}}. As the Greeks were returning home after the Trojan War, Oddyseus' ship accidentally landed on the island home of the cyclops Polyphemus, who imprisoned the crew and ate many of them. In order to escape, Odysseus blinded the cyclops. Poseidon, Polyphemus' father, was extremely angered by his son being blinded, so he cursed Odysseus' ship to prevent him from reaching his home in {{W|Ithaca}}. The adventures which Odysseus encountered during his quest for reaching Ithaca are the main theme of {{w|Homer|Homer's}} {{w|Odyssey}} The Odyssey also says that before sailing, the crew forgot to offer a sacrifice as was ordained.

; Why is there ice in space?
: Space is {{w|Outer_space#Environment|Cold}}. The background radiation, which is used to measure the temperature of space's vacuum, is estimated at about 3K (−270 °C; −454 °F). Water freezes at 273.15 K (0 °C; 32 °F). Because the temperature in space is less than the freezing point of water, liquids freeze in space, turning into ice.

===Section Nine===

; Why is there an owl in my back yard?

; Why is there an owl outside my window?
: Owls can be seen all over the world and live in a wide variety of habitats. They are mainly nocturnal, and spend a large portion of the night hunting. The owl in your back yard and your window is likely looking for food.

; Why is there an owl on the dollar bill?
: On the front of a dollar bill, near the upper right '1' is a tiny section of the design which can be seen to represent an owl. Conspiracy theorists will note that owls were symbolically linked to the Masons, while others will instead see a spider.

; Why do owls attack people?
: While owls and human often live in close proximity without problems, as with other species, owls may attack if they feel threatened. When people irritate or otherwise make owls feel unsafe, they retaliate with violence to protect themselves. This may be related to the questions about an owl in one's back yard and outside their window, the implication being that an owl entered someone's house and attacked them.

; Why are AK47s so expensive?
: The market value of an AK47 varies depending on where you live. With strict gun control laws, obtaining an AK47 in the UK is likely to be more expensive due to the risks involved for those supplying the weapon. In former Soviet republics and the Middle East, AK47s are more plentiful, and hence the price is likely to be lower.

; Why are there helicopters circling my house?
: People living in high-crime areas will often hear helicopters circling, especially at night, when police use the helicopter's searchlight to locate and track suspects, or to light a crime scene. Those Googling this question might be wondering if a dangerous fugitive is nearby, or what else may be going on. Potentially, the questioner may be hallucinating the helicopters or imagining themselves as the target due to {{w|paranoid schizophrenia}}, in which either a neurochemical imbalance or distorted thought patterns causes {{w|delusions of persecution}}. Alternately, this question may be a joke because it is so incongruous to the others in this section. The joke is that people would be Googling about owls attacking people and assault rifle prices, which could, ostensibly alert authorities to come to your house to arrest you.

===Section Ten===

; Why are there gods?
: Gods and goddesses are part of mythology and folklore that are used to give spiritual guidance as well as explanations for phenomena that are yet unexplained by natural processes.

; Why are there two Spocks?
: This is probably a reference to the {{w|Star_Trek_(film)|2009 Star Trek movie}} in which the franchise was given a {{w|Reboot_(fiction)|continuity reboot}}. The modified setting is explained in-universe by time travel, with both the villain Nero and the original-timeline Spock being brought back from the 24th century to the 23rd, creating a timeline in which both older Spock (played by Leonard Nimoy) and the younger Spock (played by Zachary Quinto) coexist. Another possibility is that the question refers to the episode {{w|Mirror,_Mirror_(Star_Trek:_The_Original_Series)|"Mirror, Mirror"}}, which mostly takes place in an alternate universe populated by ruthless versions of most of the characters (including Spock).

; Why is Mt Vesuvius there?
: The simple answer is that volcanoes are created by interactions where the Earth's tectonic plates meet. These conditions only exist in a few places on Earth. The question could also be asking, "why is Mt Vesuvius near such a heavily populated area?" Humans have lived near Vesuvius throughout history, due to its pleasant climate, rich soil, and proximity to other major cities. The Italian government [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2003/jun/05/italy.sophiearie offers generous cash incentives] to move people away from the danger zone, but finds few takers.This question could also be a reference to mountaineer {{w|George Mallory}}'s famous answer as to why he wanted to climb Mount Everest: "Because it's there."

; Why do they say T minus?
: Time before the launch of a spacecraft is denoted as "T-minus" because the launch has not happened yet. Any time after the launch is typically stated with a "plus", for example "T-plus 3 minutes, 17 seconds", so time before the launch is counted downwards as "minus" time. The "T" stands for "Time", as in the practical zero time of launch, although the eventual reaching of zero (related to the intended "L" time of launching) is often still subject to change ''before'' the launch, for both {{w|Built-in hold|planned and unplanned holds}} of arbitrary length.

; Why are there obelisks?
: The {{w|Obelisk}} article has more information.

; Why are wrestlers always wet?
: Professional wrestling is strenuous activity, whether it's fake or not. Strenuous activity results in sweat, giving the bodyan appearance of being wet. Greco-Roman wrestling and Turkish Oil Wrestling both involve oiling the body, giving a similar appearance.

; Why are oceans becoming more acidic?
: Due to the higher amount of carbon dioxide on the atmosphere, which dissolves in the oceans turning into carbonic acid - CO2+H2O=H2CO3 (see {{w|Ocean acidification}})

; Why is Arwen dying?
: {{w|Elf (Middle-Earth)#Death|Elves}} in ''The Lord of the Rings'' can die from grief.

; Why aren't my quail laying eggs?
: Not enough sunlight/calcium, or they are egg bound (very serious)?

; Why aren't my quail eggs hatching?
: Problems in incubation, or the eggs may not be fertilized.

; Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America?
: Further information: {{w|United States military deployments}}This is a very interesting question, albeit one likely based on a regional misunderstanding. Presumably, this question is asked by Americans who assume that the existence of {{w|Category:Military facilities of the United States by country|U.S. military bases abroad}} is a general trend among countries, as opposed to being the rarity that it is. In fact, {{w|List of countries with overseas military bases|only a handful of other countries}} have military bases outside of their borders, and the three—{{w|France}}, the {{w|United Kingdom}}, and {{w|Russia}}—that have more than one or two are all countries that, like the United States, {{w|Allies of World War II|were on the winning side of World War II}}, have {{w|List of countries by military expenditures|massive military expenditures}}, and have {{w|United Nations Security Council veto power|UN Security Council vetoes}}. In other words, only the most militarily elite countries have bases overseas. The U.S. is unique, however, in that it has far more overseas bases than any other country (and, pretty much, far more of anything else than any other country, when it comes to the military), and in that {{w|List of United States military bases|it has bases in several other highly-industrialized nations}}, including {{w|List of United States Army installations in South Korea|South Korea}} and the United Kingdom, and, most notably, the World War II {{w|Axis powers}}: {{w|List of United States Army installations in Germany|Germany}}, {{w|United States s Japan|Japan}}, and {{w|List of United States Army installations in Italy|Italy}}. France, Russia, and the U.K.'s bases, on the other hand, are almost all within areas that they previously controlled.These bases can be controversial in some countries, while in others they are a major source of economic and political stability. The U.S. traditionally justifies their presence as a necessary and crucial element in its efforts to promote peace domestically and worldwide. Despite their major role in {{w|U.S. foreign policy}}, and in the general political structure of the globe, the American public often largely ignores them, and they rarely become a major political issue (apart from an occasional mention by {{w|Libertarian Party (United States)|Libertarian presidential candidates}}).So, essentially, the absence of foreign military bases within the U.S. is primarily because there aren't really any other countries in a position to place bases there. Ironically, although no battles in the traditional sense have been fought within the U.S. since the {{w|U.S. Civil War}} and the U.S. mainland has seen {{w|Mainland invasion of the United States|almost no military action}}, foreign air bases might have been useful on September 11, 2001. (The {{w|attack on Pearl Harbor}} in 1941 was 18 years before Hawaii became a U.S. state, but Hawaii was still a fundamental part of the United States as it was an incorporated territory.)There are, however, foreign troops stationed at some continental US military bases. For example, RAF (British Royal Air ) 39 Sqn and 361 Sqn at Creech Air Base in Nevada flying Reaper and Predator drones. But these are not foreign military bases, they are just guests.

===Section Eleven===

; Why are my boobs itchy?
: It could be anything from dry skin to a rare life-threatening disease. Could also be related to pregnancy, PMS, or puberty. [https://www.just-health.net/Itchy-Breast.html Here's a thorough list] of possible causes and remedies.

; Why are cigarettes legal?
: Despite the obvious detrimental effects nicotine has on health, it is, like caffeine and alcohol, more profitable to regulate than to ban, and is also subject to intense lobbying by tobacco companies to keep it legal. Substances like cocaine and other drugs are mainly illegal because of government attitudes disapproving of recreational drug use coupled with there being no powerful preexisting corporate lobby with a stake in making or keeping these drugs legal, and also, with some drugs (in the US, at least), due to more than a bit of racism (against Mexicans with regard to marijuana, or against Chinese for opium). Nicotine, however, which is the key ingredient in tobacco, is regulated and heavily taxed, bringing income for the government. This is one of the major arguments for legalizing other, currently-illegal drugs, at least the "softer" ones like marijuana, as, if they're legalized, they can be taxed and bring the government more money, and the government can provide an incentive for producers and sellers to keep their product safe and high-quality (by punishing those who mislabel their drugs or cut them with dangerous substances, while letting producers and sellers of safe, high-quality drugs operate without fear of arrest or prosecution).

; Why are there ducks in my pool?
: Most likely, they're looking for a place to mate. Which means you'll soon have baby ducks in your pool. Most migratory birds are protected by wildlife laws, so you want to prevent them from moving into your pool in the first place. The [https://www.dfwwildlife.org/duck.html DFW Wildlife Coalition] has some tips.

; Why is Jesus white?
: This is an ethnocentric viewpoint that varies throughout cultures. In African cultures he is portrayed as black. In short, whatever culture he is introduced to, those inhabitants will have him fit their own image.

; Why is there liquid in my ear?
: [https://www.healthline.com/symptom/discharge-from-ear It's called otorrhea], and can be caused by infection, trauma, or changes in pressure. A common cause is [https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/swimmers-ear/basics/definition/con-20014723 Swimmer's ear], an infection of the outer ear canal. More seriously, it could be Cerebrospinal fluid. This can end up in your ears due to a puncture in the skull's membrane, often due to a collision/concussion. This is a very serious condition. Again, do not take (too much) medical advice from wiki. A less dangerous explanation is that this person has just learned of the {{w|vestibular system}}, which is contained in the inner ear, and is confused as to why it exists.

; Why do Q tips feel good?
: The inner ear contains {{w|erectile tissue}} (as does your inner nose which is why sneezing feels good) so you are massaging tissue which gets aroused upon stimulation.

; Why do good people die?
: Everybody dies, no matter how good or bad they were. But sometimes if people are really bad, they are made to die sooner. (But loved ones and ones who were known to make memorable or valuable contributions are mourned and revered more than a person who has left much pain to others as their legacy; we remember the good ones and so it hurts more.)

; Why are ultrasounds important?
: Ultrasound scans provide a great deal of information about a fetus, thus increasing the chances of a healthy birth. They have many other medical uses.

; Why are ultrasound machines expensive?
: As hospital equipment goes, ultrasound machines are actually a bargain. [https://www.costowl.com/healthcare/healthcare-ultrasound-machine-costs.html A new ultrasound machine] costs about $20,000-$75,000, depending on features. Comparable devices are much more expensive: The [https://info.blockimaging.com/bid/84432/CT-Scanner-Price-Guide CT scanner] runs $90,000-$250,000, while the [https://www.ehow.com/about_4731161_much-do-mri-machines-cost.html MRI machine] easily goes over a million.

; Why is stealing wrong?
: Stealing is theft, and it is illegal. Taking something that is not yours without permission or payment hurts the livelihood of other individuals as well as damages their trust in others.

==Transcript==
: [This strip is a rectangular word cloud, titled 'Questions found in Google autocomplete'. Embedded in the cloud are five single panels, with illustrated questions. These are described at the end. Questions are given in roughly columnar order. None of the questions have question marks.]

: Questions found in Google Autocomplete

: Why do whales jump
: Why are witches green
: Why are there mirrors above beds
: Why do I say uh
: Why is sea salt better
: Why are there trees in the middle of fields
: Why is there not a Pokemon MMO
: Why is there laughing in TV shows
: Why are there doors on the freeway
: Why are there so many svchost.exe running
: Why aren't there any countries in antarctica
: Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft
: Why is there kicking in my stomach
: Why are there two slashes after HTTP
: Why are there celebrities
: Why do snakes exist
: Why do oysters have pearls
: Why are ducks called ducks
: Why do they call it the clap
: Why are Kyle and Cartman friends
: Why is there an arraow on Aang's head
: Why are text messages blue
: Why are there mustaches on clothes
: Why are there mustaches on cars
: Why are there mustaches everywhere
: Why are there so many birds in Ohio
: Why is there so much rain in Ohio
: Why is Ohio weather so weird
: Why are there male and female bikes
: Why are there bridesmaids
: Why do dying people reach up
: Why aren't there varicose arteries
: Why are old Klingons different
: Why is programming so hard
: Why is there a 0 ohm resistor
: Why do Americans hate soccer
: Why do rhymes sound good
: Why do trees die
: Why is there no sound on CNN
: Why aren't Pokemon real
: Why aren't bullets sharp
: Why do dreams seem so real
: Why aren't there dinosaur ghosts
: Why do iguanas die
: Why do testicles move
: Why are there psychics
: Why are hats so expensive
: Why is there caffeine in my shampoo
: Why do your boobs hurt
: Why aren't economists rich
: Why do Americans call it soccer
: Why are my ears ringing
: Why are there so many Avengers
: Why are the Avengers fighting the X men
: Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers
: Why are there ants in my laptop
: Why is Earth tilted
: Why is space black
: Why is outer space so cold
: Why are there pyramids on the moon
: Why is NASA shutting down
: Why is there Hell if God forgives
: Why are there tiny spiders in my house
: Why do spiders come inside
: Why are there huge spiders in my house
: Why are there lots of spiders in my house
: Why are there spiders in my room
: Why are there so many spiders in my room
: Why do spider bites itch
: Why is dying so scary
: Why is there no GPS in laptops
: Why do knees click
: Why aren't there E grades
: Why is isolation bad
: Why do boys like me
: Why don't boys like me
: Why is there always a Java update
: Why are there red dots on my thighs
: Why is lying good
: Why is GPS free
: Why are trees tall
: Why are there slaves in the Bible
: Why do twins have different fingerprints
: Why are Americans afraid of dragons
: Why is there lava
: Why are there swarms of gnats
: Why is there phlegm
: Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN
: Why is psychic weak to bug
: Why do children get cancer
: Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus
: Why is there ice in space
: Why are there female Mr Mimes
: Why is there an owl in my backyard
: Why is there an owl outside my window
: Why is there an owl on the dollar bill
: Why do owls attack people
: Why are AK47s so expensive
: Why are there helicopters circling my house
: Why are there gods
: Why are there two Spocks
: Why is Mt Vesuvius there
: Why do they say T minus
: Why are there obelisks
: Why are wrestlers always wet
: Why are oceans becoming more acidic
: Why is Arwen dying
: Why aren't my quail laying eggs
: Why aren't my quail eggs hatching
: Why aren't there any foreign military bases in America
: Why is life so boring
: Why are my boobs itchy
: Why are cigarettes legal
: Why are there ducks in my pool
: Why is Jesus white
: Why is there liquid in my ear
: Why do Q tips feel good
: Why do good people die
: Why are ultrasounds important
: Why are ultrasound machines expensive
: Why is stealing wrong
: Why is YKK on all zippers
: Why is HTTPS crossed out in red
: Why is there a line through HTTPS
: Why is there a red line through HTTPS on Facebook
: Why is HTTPS important
: Why are there weeks
: Why do I feel dizzy
: Why are dogs afraid of fireworks
: Why is there no king in England

: [We see Cueball from the torso up, with arms outstretched.]
: Cueball: Why aren't my arms growing

: [Megan stands with a grey ghost on either side of her.]
: Megan: Why are there ghosts

: [Beret Guy stands, looking at a squirrel.]
: Beret Guy: Why are there squirrels

: [Cueball stands.]
: Cueball: Why is sex so important.

: [We see Ponytail from the torso up.]
: Ponytail: Why aren't there guns in Harry Potter

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Pokémon]]
[[Category:Google Search]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Star Trek]]
[[Category:Weather]]
[[Category:Harry Potter]]
[[Category:Religion]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Volcanoes]]
[[Category:Minecraft]]
[[Category:Ants]]
[[Category:Comics featuring children]]
[[Category:Disney]]
[[Category:Ghosts]]

User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly

2026-03-08T23:56:35Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

<nowiki>:D</nowiki> [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Qwertyuiopfromdefly]] ([[User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|talk]]) 06:05, 17 February 2026 (UTC)

==What the little thingys in the Userbox mean==
If I'm correctly assuming what you're confused about, you're wondering what 'border-c', 'border-s', 'info-s', and 'info-c' parameters do. Let's go through them: 
*border-c - Determines the color of the userbox's border. But a hex color value here to change the color of the border. if not included, defaults to grey.
*border-s - Determines the width of the border in pixels. A higher value means a thicker border, while a lower value means a thinner one. If not included, it defaults to 1 pixel.
*id-s - Determines the size of the id text in points. A higher value means a bigger font size, and a lower value means a smaller font size. If not included, it defaults to your system's default font size+2.
*info-s - Determines the size of the info text in points. Increase this value for a bigger font size, and decrease it for a smaller font size. If not included, defaults to your system's default font size.
*info-c - The background color for the 'info' section of the user box. Change this value for a different background text color. if not included, defaults to a darker grey.
*Float - Where the userbox goes. Can be left, center, or right.
*Align - Determines whether the text is left, center, or right aligned. If not included, text defaults to left aligned

Hope this helps! I'll update this list later with more parameters. --'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al|DollarStoreBa'al]][[User Talk:DollarStoreBa'al|Converse]] (BLM) 15:07, 18 February 2026 (UTC)
:Thank you! [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Qwertyuiopfromdefly]] ([[User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|talk]]) 20:08, 18 February 2026 (UTC)
:I also found id-c while messing around [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Qwertyuiopfromdefly]] ([[User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|talk]]) 20:16, 18 February 2026 (UTC)
::That one sets the background color for the id section rather than the info section. Also, I made a mistake. It's 'float'. 'Align' is a different command (which I've now added to the list above). --'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al|DollarStoreBa'al]][[User Talk:DollarStoreBa'al|Converse]] (BLM) 20:19, 18 February 2026 (UTC)
::LOL I love the changes you've made to your userboxes btw. --'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al|DollarStoreBa'al]][[User Talk:DollarStoreBa'al|Converse]] (BLM) 20:19, 18 February 2026 (UTC)
:::Thank you [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Qwertyuiopfromdefly]] ([[User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|talk]]) 20:22, 18 February 2026 (UTC)

== Questions (answered?) ==

how do you create subpages ''-- copied from [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly]]'', by user.
:The same way you create any new page... As soon as you ''can'' create pages.
:Or ask someone else (speicifcally, or in a general request) who can create pages to create the for you.
:But I'd suggest that you (or anyone other person who wants to help you) only does so if you're sure there's a good reason for it. There's a tendency for new (sub-)pages to be created far more readily than anything that's no longer wanted is to be tidied away by deletion again.
:So, perhaps you could say what you want to create, for two main reasons:
:# It might get someone to help you out (or tell you exactly what to do to help yourself out),
:# If it's frivilous, someone can tell you that, maybe point out that there's a better way (like using an established Sandbox page, or something).
:Sorry for a lot of words to such a short 'question', it's just because it ''is'' so short, so I'm imagining all kinds of (good and bad) reasons behind it and trying to cover all the obvious bases. ;) [[Special:Contributions/81.179.199.253|81.179.199.253]] 20:05, 8 March 2026 (UTC)
::Thank you, I was just curious and don't have any plans to make any subpages yet. [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Qwertyuiopfromdefly]] ([[User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|talk]]) 23:55, 8 March 2026 (UTC)

User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly

2026-03-08T23:55:17Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

<nowiki>:D</nowiki> [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Qwertyuiopfromdefly]] ([[User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|talk]]) 06:05, 17 February 2026 (UTC)

==What the little thingys in the Userbox mean==
If I'm correctly assuming what you're confused about, you're wondering what 'border-c', 'border-s', 'info-s', and 'info-c' parameters do. Let's go through them: 
*border-c - Determines the color of the userbox's border. But a hex color value here to change the color of the border. if not included, defaults to grey.
*border-s - Determines the width of the border in pixels. A higher value means a thicker border, while a lower value means a thinner one. If not included, it defaults to 1 pixel.
*id-s - Determines the size of the id text in points. A higher value means a bigger font size, and a lower value means a smaller font size. If not included, it defaults to your system's default font size+2.
*info-s - Determines the size of the info text in points. Increase this value for a bigger font size, and decrease it for a smaller font size. If not included, defaults to your system's default font size.
*info-c - The background color for the 'info' section of the user box. Change this value for a different background text color. if not included, defaults to a darker grey.
*Float - Where the userbox goes. Can be left, center, or right.
*Align - Determines whether the text is left, center, or right aligned. If not included, text defaults to left aligned

Hope this helps! I'll update this list later with more parameters. --'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al|DollarStoreBa'al]][[User Talk:DollarStoreBa'al|Converse]] (BLM) 15:07, 18 February 2026 (UTC)
:Thank you! [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Qwertyuiopfromdefly]] ([[User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|talk]]) 20:08, 18 February 2026 (UTC)
:I also found id-c while messing around [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Qwertyuiopfromdefly]] ([[User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|talk]]) 20:16, 18 February 2026 (UTC)
::That one sets the background color for the id section rather than the info section. Also, I made a mistake. It's 'float'. 'Align' is a different command (which I've now added to the list above). --'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al|DollarStoreBa'al]][[User Talk:DollarStoreBa'al|Converse]] (BLM) 20:19, 18 February 2026 (UTC)
::LOL I love the changes you've made to your userboxes btw. --'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al|DollarStoreBa'al]][[User Talk:DollarStoreBa'al|Converse]] (BLM) 20:19, 18 February 2026 (UTC)
:::Thank you [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Qwertyuiopfromdefly]] ([[User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|talk]]) 20:22, 18 February 2026 (UTC)

== Questions (answered?) ==

how do you create subpages ''-- copied from [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly]]'', by user.
:The same way you create any new page... As soon as you ''can'' create pages.
:Or ask someone else (speicifcally, or in a general request) who can create pages to create the for you.
:But I'd suggest that you (or anyone other person who wants to help you) only does so if you're sure there's a good reason for it. There's a tendency for new (sub-)pages to be created far more readily than anything that's no longer wanted is to be tidied away by deletion again.
:So, perhaps you could say what you want to create, for two main reasons:
:# It might get someone to help you out (or tell you exactly what to do to help yourself out),
:# If it's frivilous, someone can tell you that, maybe point out that there's a better way (like using an established Sandbox page, or something).
:Sorry for a lot of words to such a short 'question', it's just because it ''is'' so short, so I'm imagining all kinds of (good and bad) reasons behind it and trying to cover all the obvious bases. ;) [[Special:Contributions/81.179.199.253|81.179.199.253]] 20:05, 8 March 2026 (UTC)
:Thank you, I was just curious and don't have any plans to make any subpages yet. [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Qwertyuiopfromdefly]] ([[User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|talk]]) 23:55, 8 March 2026 (UTC)

User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly

2026-03-08T17:17:20Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

*Score: {{#cscore:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|score}}
*Pages edited: {{#cscore:Qwertyuiopfromdefly}} of {{NUMBEROFPAGES}}
*Total edits: {{#cscore:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|changes}}

== my userboxes ==
{{Userbox | border-c = #099 | border-s = 3 | info-s = 9 | info-c = #a4a|id = COOL TEXT| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|this user has some idea of what the little thingies in this userbox mean]] | float = left}}
{{Userbox | border-c = #033 | border-s = 3| info-s = 9 | info-c = #a4a|id = COOL TEXT| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|this user has yet to open explain xkcd on a non-mobile device]] | float = right}}

== Things I find cool ==
[https://euphoria.leet.nu/room/xkcd]

==Questions==
how do you create subpages

== testing ==
{{Userbox | border-c = #099 | border-s = 3 | info-s = 9 | info-c = #a4a|id = COOL TEXT|id-c = #a5ffff| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Testing text]] | float = left}}
{{soup}}

2461: 90's Kid Space Program

2026-03-07T03:48:34Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: corrected citation needed to actua

{{comic
| number = 2461
| date = May 10, 2021
| title = 90's Kid Space Program
| image = 90s_kid_space_program.png
| titletext = NASA may not want to admit it, but at this point they ARE the 90's Kid Space Program.
}}

==Explanation==
The "launch system" is just one of the {{w|Eye popper|rubber popper toys}} popular in the 1990s. These toys are little rubber hemispheres, about 1" (25 mm) in diameter and 1/8" (3 mm) thick. When turned inside-out and placed on a hard surface, they will, after a short wait, snap back to their original shape, popping up into the air. The joke is that kids who grew up with these toys will think they're a great idea to propel a space ship to orbit, when in fact the toys launch at mere tens of kilometers per hour, far short of the thousands needed to reach {{w|orbital speed}}{{actual citation needed}}. But now kids playing with these are those that make rockets, hence the title 90's Kid Space Program (KSP). Even if the popper-based propulsion system could generate enough acceleration to reach orbit, the abrupt impulse would likely cause serious harm to any astronauts.

The title text implies that many working now at {{w|NASA}} were 90s kids. Both categories would include [[Randall]], as he was born in 1984 and previously worked at NASA. The title is a reference to the {{w|Kerbal Space Program}} (KSP) which has been a [[:Category:Kerbal Space Program|recurring theme]] on xkcd, and it has previously been hinted at that NASA's employees uses this program in [[1244: Six Words]] and [[2204: Ksp 2]]. And also that you learn more about orbital Mechanics by using KSP than from being hired by NASA in [[1356: Orbital Mechanics]].

==Transcript==
:[A command and service module representing the tip of a spacecraft, is attached by four long trusses to four equidistant points on the edge of a giant light green popper (a green "hill" with a round raised edge around it). The popper is in its inverted configuration, ready to pop. There is a caption beneath the panel:]
:The 90's Kid Space Program prepares for their first orbital launch

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Kerbal Space Program]]
[[Category:Comics featuring children]]
[[Category:Rockets]]

Talk:2527: New Nobel Prizes

2026-02-26T05:02:20Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

I can't understand the title text --[[User:GcGYSF(asterisk)P(vertical line)e|GcGYSF(asterisk)P(vertical line)e]] ([[User talk:GcGYSF(asterisk)P(vertical line)e|talk]]) 02:33, 12 October 2021 (UTC)
:It means they made stopping Dr. Adams part of the medicine category of Nobel prizes. ---- {{unsigned|69.69.69.69 who didn't use a condom}}
::I refuse to believe that that is your ip address. [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Qwertyuiopfromdefly]] ([[User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|talk]]) 05:02, 26 February 2026 (UTC)
:I think it's implying that they're so desperate to stop Dr. Adams that they're offering a Nobel Prize to whoever gets her to stop. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.63.21|162.158.63.21]] 03:09, 12 October 2021 (UTC)
I think the comic is riffing on the gender imbalance. We're led to expect the dialogue to say all this year's Nobel prizes went to men (which in 2021 they did - which was newsworthy). ---- {{unsigned|141.101.107.229 who didn't use tildes}}
: Indeed, because there is no Nobel Prize for Mathematics laureate to tell them that the odds of this happening are 1/64, which isn't *that* surprising, especially given that the gender imbalance, (for whatever reason(s), good or bad) mean that the odds are actually higher because it's not an even 50/50 chance to pick a specific gender per 'coin flip.' For instance if the split were 75:25 in favor of women, then the odds of an all-female prize winning year would be ~18%, which means that at least every 6th year random chance should deliver a all-female-winner year if genders really do have no role in awarding winners. Ergo, it's only newsworthy if you have a political angle.[[Special:Contributions/172.69.68.235|172.69.68.235]] 16:40, 12 October 2021 (UTC)
::You're assuming that there are only 6 winners, when in fact there were 13. Assuming a 75:25 split, that's only a 2% chance. [[User:Ahecht|Ahecht]] ([[User talk:Ahecht|talk]]) 17:22, 13 October 2021 (UTC)
:Not all of them went to men. The Peace prize was shared by Maria Ressa and Dmitry Muratov. [[User:Ahecht|Ahecht]] ([[User talk:Ahecht|talk]]) 17:22, 13 October 2021 (UTC)

I think it's more like discovering new particles, than elements, with some sort of Enhanced Standard Model of Nobel Prizes probably being added to by the likes of supersymmetric partners, Higgses, etc. (But might be worth a mention that (pure) Mathematicians conspicuously miss out Nobel glory due to a deliberate oversight/snub? Not that I have skin in that game, but it's a known fact.) [[Special:Contributions/162.158.159.53|162.158.159.53]] 08:29, 12 October 2021 (UTC)

This is probably also a jab at the "Nobel prize for Economics", which was awarded yesterday. That prize exists since the 1970s, but is often not regarded as a "real" Nobel prize because it was not specified in Alfred Nobel's will, but is rather the result of an outside donation. One could say it is a unrelated prize that is just cleverly marketed by smuggling Alfred Nobel's name into it and by awarding it one day after the "real" Nobel prizes. In that way, one could thoretically create a near infinite number of new "Nobel prizes" for irrelevant stuff, as the comic suggests. -[[Special:Contributions/162.158.91.90|162.158.91.90]] 09:05, 12 October 2021 (UTC)
:The Economics prize isn't unrelated. It's administered by the Nobel Foundation, and winners are chosen by the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences (which also chooses the winners for Physics and Chemistry). It's only the funding source that is different. Incidentally, the Nobel Foundation has decided that they will not allow any new exernally-funded prizes to be added after Economics. [[User:Ahecht|Ahecht]] ([[User talk:Ahecht|talk]]) 17:28, 13 October 2021 (UTC)

Could this be a riff on the AAAI Squirrel AI award given recently, which people are calling a "new Nobel"? https://pratt.duke.edu/about/news/rudin-squirrel-award --[[User:Sophira|Sophira]] ([[User talk:Sophira|talk]]) 10:49, 12 October 2021 (UTC)
:It's pretty cmomon for the most prestigious award in some other field of study to be figuratively called the "Nobel of X". For instance, the Turing Award could be considered the Nobel Prize of computing. So I doubt this is a riff on any particular industry award, especially since it was published just after all the Nobel Awards were announced. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 18:13, 12 October 2021 (UTC)

Swede here, on a little minor issue. As far as I know, Alfred Nobel was never knighted, so he should not be called Sir, which he currently is in the text.

I added an explanation for the title text as there was none previously. I feel like someone else could've explained it much better that I could, however.[[User:MrYellow04|MrYellow04]] ([[User talk:MrYellow04|talk]]) 17:33, 12 October 2021 (UTC)

Today is the 42nd anniversary of Douglas Adams's ''The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'', so it is possible Randall is referencing him with the name of Dr. Adams. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.114.3|172.70.114.3]] 18:48, 12 October 2021 (UTC)
:Actually, Hitchhiker started in March 1978 so it can hardly be the 42nd anniversary. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.94.219|162.158.94.219]] 07:38, 14 October 2021 (UTC)

It may be worth noting that Dr. Adams [[1954: Impostor Syndrome|is a social psychologist and the world's top expert on impostor syndrome]]. [[Special:Random|Kpalion]] 10:59, 13 October 2021 (UTC)
: Oh man, you're right. [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Doctor_Ponytail And she's also frequently depicted wearing a lab coat in the role of a medical doctor.] I know there's a lot of precedent in this wiki for calling her Ponytail, but I'm wondering if "Dr. Adams" could theoretically be used ''whenever'' she appears, as we do with Megan. [[User:MeZimm|MeZimm]] ([[User talk:MeZimm|talk]]) 13:29, 13 October 2021 (UTC)
: Wow, that could be right! We'll probably need at least one more comic for evidence to be sure about referring to lab-coat ponytail as "Dr. Adams". Someone should look at that list of [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Doctor_Ponytail Doctor Ponytail] comics and see if there's any other precedent for this. [[User:MrYellow04|MrYellow04]] ([[User talk:MrYellow04|talk]]) 18:00, 13 October 2021 (UTC)
: For my part (though there's no reason I'm correct on this) I think there's equal precedent in Cueball not being universally renamed as Rob. Even if Megan now seems to be always be accepted as Megan, I think that Dr (Joanna?) Adams still is only ''an'' identity of Ponytail. Maybe her future storyline will increasingly cement this reality, but it still might not indicate retroactive intentions upon all prior Ponytails. Keep "...featuring Ponytail" ''and'' "...featuring Dr. Adamas" as frequently co-present categories, or some similar setup. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.159.119|162.158.159.119]] 19:57, 13 October 2021 (UTC)
: I think there are two figures: Ponytail and Ponytail with lab coat. Ponytail with lab coat is always performing as a medical practitioner. Ponytail with out the lab coat takes on different roles. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.203.26|162.158.203.26]] 06:03, 16 October 2021 (UTC)
:: I mean, this makes sense when you consider that many other characters appear to be Cueball with different clothing, but are treated as other characters completely. Like Black Hat etc. (Hats are clothing.) So a character interpreted as female with a lab coat and ponytail is Dr. Adams, while a character with a ponytail and no lab coat, interpreted to be female, is usually just Ponytail unless otherwise specified like here. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.246.220|108.162.246.220]] 01:47, 26 November 2021 (UTC)

3212: Little Red Dots

2026-02-26T03:44:39Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

{{comic
| number = 3212
| date = February 25, 2026
| title = Little Red Dots
| image = little_red_dots_2x.png
| imagesize = 634x306px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = After a lot of analysis, I've determined that they're actually big red dots; they're just very far away.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a LITTLE RED BOT. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Knit Cap]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]

3212: Little Red Dots

2026-02-26T03:44:26Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: fixed previous edit

{{comic
| number = 3212
| date = February 25, 2026
| title = Little Red Dots
| image = little_red_dots_2x.png
| imagesize = 634x306px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = After a lot of analysis, I've determined that they're actually big red dots; they're just very far away.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a LITTLE RED BOT. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[CategoryComics featuring Knit Cap]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]

3212: Little Red Dots

2026-02-26T03:43:03Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: added categories

{{comic
| number = 3212
| date = February 25, 2026
| title = Little Red Dots
| image = little_red_dots_2x.png
| imagesize = 634x306px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = After a lot of analysis, I've determined that they're actually big red dots; they're just very far away.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a LITTLE RED BOT. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Comics featuring Knit Cap]]
[[Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Comics featuring Hairy]]

User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly

2026-02-25T04:35:33Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

*Score: {{#cscore:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|score}}
*Pages edited: {{#cscore:Qwertyuiopfromdefly}} of {{NUMBEROFPAGES}}
*Total edits: {{#cscore:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|changes}}

== my userboxes ==
{{Userbox | border-c = #099 | border-s = 3 | info-s = 9 | info-c = #a4a|id = COOL TEXT| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|this user has some idea of what the little thingies in this userbox mean]] | float = left}}
{{Userbox | border-c = #033 | border-s = 3| info-s = 9 | info-c = #a4a|id = COOL TEXT| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|this user has yet to open explain xkcd on a non-mobile device]] | float = right}}

== Things I find cool ==
[https://euphoria.leet.nu/room/xkcd]

== testing ==
{{Userbox | border-c = #099 | border-s = 3 | info-s = 9 | info-c = #a4a|id = COOL TEXT|id-c = #a5ffff| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Testing text]] | float = left}}
{{soup}}

3210: Eliminating the Impossible

2026-02-21T01:32:13Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: added Categories

{{comic
| number = 3210
| date = February 20, 2026
| title = Eliminating the Impossible
| image = eliminating_the_impossible_2x.png
| imagesize = 675x349px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'If you've eliminated a few possibilities and you can't think of any others, your weird theory is proven right' isn't quite as rhetorically compelling.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by the one thing that actually was in the car. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

The discussion in this comic plays upon the phrase originating from the fictional Sherlock Holmes (and therefore also his author, {{w|Arthur Conan-Doyle}}) that "[https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/1196-when-you-have-eliminated-all-which-is-impossible-then-whatever When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth,]" which describes Holmes's {{w|abductive reasoning}} used to solve the crimes and mysteries set before him.

[[White Hat]] is expounding this principle, to [[Cueball]], as some key part of logic for some undisclosed purpose. Cueball argues that human error - namely, making a mistake in the 'elimination' process - is also possible, and claims that the logic is faulty on this premise. When White Hat points out that the logic is a guideline for problem-solving, Cueball argues that the possibility of human error when operating on this logic makes the logic unsound.

This, of course, ignores the entire point of the original statement: {{tvtropes|RealityIsUnrealistic|something being ''unlikely'' does not make it ''untrue''}}, and ignoring reality because it is "unlikely" is both absurd and counterproductive to the process of solving a problem.

In the final panel, Cueball demonstrates a practical example of human error causing this issue. When a person is looking for their possessions, their first option is to search the house in which they presently are, while their second option is to search their mode of transportation (especially in the case of possessions that are regularly brought to and from other locations). White Hat agrees that he himself has been in the situation where he has searched the entire house, not found what he is looking for, assumes it is in the car, and then fails to locate it in the car as well. This, too, demonstrates the failing in Cueball's argument against the logic: there are other locations besides "in my house" and "in my car",{{Citation needed}} and so even in the instance that the searcher ''has'', in fact, searched every location in the house, they have not finished eliminating the impossible. Indeed, many people have searched both their home and their car (thoroughly and repeatedly) and ultimately found the object they were looking for in another building entirely.

In the title text, it goes further in deconstructing how it might result in a logically incorrect {{w|argument from ignorance}}. Although, in fiction, there is a {{tvtropes|TheoryOfNarrativeCausality|Law of Narrative Causality}}, in which things are successfully resolved in the way that the plot requires them to be resolved, stating it quite so clearly would also normally be {{tvtropes|LampshadeHanging|narratively unsatisfyingly}}.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

:[White Hat and Cueball are standing together and talking. White Hat has one hand slightly raised.]
:White Hat: As Sherlock Holmes said,
:White Hat: When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
:[Close-up of Cueball's head.]
:Cueball: What about the possibility that you forgot to eliminate a possibility?
:Cueball: Or that you eliminated one incorrectly?
:Cueball: Both of those remain, too.
:[Zoom back out to show both parties. Cueball is holding his arms out.]
:White Hat: You're being pedantic.
:White Hat: It's just a general rule for deduction.
:Cueball: But it's a ''bad rule.''
:[Cueball is now holding up one finger.]
:Cueball: How often have you thought, "I can't find this thing, and I've searched the whole house. The only place I haven't looked is the car, so it ''must'' be there."
:White Hat: ...And then it's never in the car.
:Cueball: ''It's never in the car!''

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Pedantic]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]

3210: Eliminating the Impossible

2026-02-21T01:30:35Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: added links to wikipedia

3158: Shielding Chart

2026-02-19T16:29:06Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

{{comic
| number = 3158
| date = October 22, 2025
| title = Shielding Chart
| image = shielding_chart_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x720px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Sharks can occasionally travel short distances through air when pursuing prey, but their attenuation coefficient is pretty high.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is part of a series on [[:Category:Confusion matrices|confusion matrices]].

Various hazardous (or merely obnoxious) materials, objects, and effects can have their danger reduced with specialized protective equipment. The yellow squares are where the shield fails to protect against the object. The grey-yellow squares are where the shield is partially successful, but still presents some risk. The grey squares are where the shield succeeds.

The first five barriers are materials/conditions which may be used to block some things and not others, which makes for a relatively normal comparison matrix. The last five barriers are devices which are deliberately designed and manufactured to block the last five materials/effects. Comparing those with effects for which they aren't designed is presented for absurdity.

The first three hazards - Gamma Rays, Neutrons, and Alpha Particles - represent different types of radiation. Their associated "beep" and "click" sounds mirror real detection behavior: "beep" corresponds to ionizing radiation like gamma and alpha particles, detected by modern radiation detectors, while "click" refers to neutron detection, which uses a separate type of counter designed for neutral particles. {{w|Geiger counter|Geiger counters}}, an earlier form of radiation detector, also clicked.

All but two tiles feature [[Cueball]] (or in two cases [[Hairy]]) trying to make use of that column's chosen 'protective shield', although in the case of some scenarios (involving vacuum or water) he may also be sufficiently equipped against the environment he finds himself in. Also present will be the row's specific 'effect', either in its own right (an object or creature that embodies the phenomenon automatically) or as conveyed by [[Megan]] (when not just present as onlooker) who may also have had the 'shield' primarily delegated to her. The two main exceptions are where Cueball himself emits the sound (from within 'protective' suits that turn out to be ineffectual sound-blockers), to apparently annoy Megan, and depictions of radio reception (which always show Cueball's attempt to transmit, whether or not it shows a successful incoming message).

Some hazards, such as {{w|alpha particles}}, a form of radiation with particularly low penetrative power, can be easily deterred by common things; even a relatively short distance through air is enough to minimize their impact. Comparatively, more dangerous hazards, such as the far more penetrative {{w|gamma rays}}, are unaffected by all but the shielding methods actually intended for them. No effect is either all effective or all ineffective, against each form of 'shielding', and neither is any instance of shield consistent against all effects.

The title text notes that, while the shark hazard is shown on the chart to be entirely nullified by a sufficient air barrier, in reality sharks are capable of attacking prey even if it is a short distance out of the water. However, it claims a high "attenuation coefficient", which is an {{tvtropes|ExpospeakGag|overly scientific way of saying}} that you don't need a ''lot'' of air between you and the shark before it can't hurt you. Indeed, while sharks can jump out of the water to a certain height, there's a hard line between "vulnerable" and "out of reach", and a person can be within arm's reach of a shark's attack while they themselves are in no danger whatsoever. So long as they ''don't'' unwisely reach out to tempt fate.

This table might imply that lead is the best defense against everything in general, but it is toxic, so don't bring lead with you at all times.

Cueball saying "Kitty!" in the shark hazard row most likely is a reference to [[231: Cat Proximity]].

===Table===
{| class="wikitable" | style="background:#E6C3C3;"
! Shielding Chart
! scope="col"| {{w|Air}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Lead}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Water}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Glass}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Vacuum}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Oven mitts}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Armor}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Hazmat suit|Bio-hazard suit}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Faraday cage}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Shark cage}}
|-
! scope="row"| {{w|Gamma rays}}
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Gamma rays are not significantly shielded by air.
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|Lead is commonly used as {{w|Lead shielding|shielding}} against gamma rays. Lead works because of its density and high atomic number, scattering gamma rays.
| style="background:#DDDCB2;"|Water can be used to shield against gamma rays, but you need at least 10 feet of water between you and the gamma rays for it to work.
|colspan=7; style="background:#FFF978;"|Gamma rays have the highest energy of any type of light and have no mass or charge, making them pass through most materials easily.

|-
! scope="row"| {{w|Neutrons}}
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Neutrons are not stopped by low density materials such as air.
| style="background:#DDDCB2;"|Lead's high density means that neutrons will keep bumping into lead nuclei, losing their energy through inelastic scattering. However since lead nuclei are much heavier than neutrons, most of the energy will remain with the neutron; as a result, many collisions are needed to slow the neutrons. Some neutrons will also be absorbed by the nuclei, although the {{w|Cross section (physics)|cross section}} is rather low.
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|Since protons and neutrons have almost the same mass, a collision with a hydrogen atom in water will result in the neutron losing almost half of its energy, resulting in a very rapid attenuation. Moreover the cross section for the fusion of neutrons and protons is high, leading to most neutrons being captured to form deuterium.
|colspan=7; style="background:#FFF978;"|None of these materials are dense enough to slow or absorb neutrons in significant quantities.

|-
! scope="row"| {{w|Alpha particles}}
|colspan=4; style="background:#C4C5C7"|As alpha particles are almost completely unable to travel through most materials, any of these would effectively stop them. Even if they didn't, the intervening air and distance to Cueball would prevent them being detected in any case. In the third panel, Cueball questions if his equipment is working, as this is the only thing which isn't detected within the first four shields.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|While alpha particles are unable to travel through air, they can move freely in a vacuum. As such, alpha particles are able to reach Cueball in this scenario, activating his detector and allowing Cueball to know that his equipment is indeed working properly.
|colspan=3; style="background:#C4C5C7;"|As with the first four shields, any of these materials would block the particles, and in any case they would have a hard time travelling through air to reach Cueball regardless of the shield provided.
|colspan=2; style="background:#FFF978;"|There are gaps in both the cages through which the particles could pass. In both cases, the emitter has been moved closer to the observer, because otherwise the effect would be masked by the intervening air.

|-
! scope="row"| {{w|Light}}
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Light passes easily through air; if it didn't, we would not be able to see.
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|As lead is a solid, opaque material, light is not able to pass through it.
| style="background:#DDDCB2;"|Water is mostly transparent to visible light. It will attenuate over long distances, but won't be quickly blocked.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|As glass is a largely transparent substance, light is usually able to pass through it.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Because a lack of air does not impact the travel of light, it reaches Cueball without issue.
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|Cueball is able to use the opaque oven mitts to cover the light source, successfully preventing the light from reaching him.
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|The helmet Cueball is wearing is opaque, blocking the light from reaching him. It also makes this a fairly useless set of armor.
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|As with the oven mitts, Hairy uses the helmet part of the biohazard suit to block the light source.
|colspan=2; style="background:#FFF978;"|As both types of cages have holes in them, it is easy for the light to pass through the holes and reach Cueball.

|-
! scope="row"| {{w|Sound}}
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Air is the most common medium through which we perceive sound. It would not serve as an effective barrier between a source of sound and someone's ears, unless it was over a very great distance.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Lead is very dense, and is in fact used for soundproofing due to its resistance to buffeting by airborne sound waves. But, as an extremely dense solid, it is a very fast conductor of vibration within itself (so long as the thickness of the material does not invoke the dampening softness and attenuate those vibrations). In this case, Megan is directly knocking upon the lead screen itself, which seems to be enough for the sound of the knocking to emerge at Cueball's side.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Sound travels significantly faster and further in water than in air, making it difficult to locate and understand, but certainly not doing any good when it comes to ''blocking'' sound. The image in this square is of a dolphin,[[[285: Wikipedian Protester#top|''cetacean needed'']]] detecting fish using sound waves, which it is very good at doing precisely ''because'' its sounds travel very well through water.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Glass, while useful for muffling sound, cannot block it entirely, as anyone whose neighbors mow the lawn at 6:00 can attest to.
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|"In space, no one can hear you scream." In a vacuum (like space), there are no atoms or molecules to carry sound waves.
| style="background:#DDDCB2;"|Oven mitts are thick enough that they block some of the sound if a person shouts into them, but it will not be enough to fully block out the sound.
| colspan=2; style="background:#FFF978;"|The two cases of whether sound can penetrate suits are the only two cases where Cueball is trying (successfully) to inflict the phenomenon on [[Megan]], who otherwise features only as the (attempted) instigator. Neither suit is able (or intended) to significantly block sound waves.
| colspan=2; style="background:#FFF978;"|The cages are open enough that their ability to block sound is negligible, and standing in one will do very little to block out sound.

|-
! scope="row"| {{w|Heat}}
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Air can be a fairly effective thermal insulator when constrained, as in {{w|aerogels}} and many types of insulation. However, freely moving air as depicted in this panel flows as it heats up, transferring heat from the campfire to Cueball's marshmallow. Additionally, air does little to block thermal radiation from the heat source.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Lead conducts heat, allowing Cueball to toast a marshmallow on the surface of the shield. However, since lead is poisonous, he should not do this.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Heat will raise the temperature of water. If the temperature is raised high enough the water will start to boil; boiling has long been used by humanity to prepare food. Marshmallows however are not meant to be boiled.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Cueball appears to be holding a glass bottle over an open fire, into which he has presumably placed his marshmallows. Depending on the temperature, the type of glass and its thickness, it is possible to heat the contents of a glass container, but if the container is unsuitable this can be dangerous to the user. Also, it is unclear how he proposes to consume the sticky marshmallow mess this would create.
| style="background:#DDDCB2;"|The lack of matter in a vacuum completely blocks transmission by conduction and convection, the two main ways in which heat is spread. It still allows transmission by radiation, which is less efficient. For the specific example of the thermos shown in the image, the way they are constructed completely blocks radiation, but there are enough residual air particles for a very slow convection. The fact that the shielding is made from one single (very thin) piece, and it has lips, also allows some conduction.
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|Cueball is holding a pan over an open fire while wearing oven mitts. Pans whose grip or handle is not made of a material that conducts less heat than the pan proper are dangerous to grab onto with one's bare hands: wearing oven mitts protects the user from heat. It should be noted that, depending on the weight of the pan and the time the pan needs to be held over a fire to prepare its contents, this can be quite tiring for the user. Also, this implies that oven mitts are a better heat shield than a vacuum, which isn't correct (at least as far as pure heat conduction goes).
| style="background:#FFF978;"|A suit of armor is made of metal, which will conduct the heat and do little to protect one's hands against an open flame. The inside of the gloves will be made of some kind of cloth and/or leather, which, as well as giving little protection, might pose a fire hazard.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Bio-hazard suits are designed to help filter air and allow the user to handle dangerous chemicals. However, most bio-hazard suits are made out of fabrics with a laminate coating, both of which are prone to burning and allow heat to pass through.
| colspan=2; style="background:#FFF978;"|Both cages have a minimal effect on the heat from a fire. Depending on the intensity of the fire and the distance from the cage this can create a comfortably warm temperature to the person inside of the cage.

|-
! scope="row"| {{w|Swords}}
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Air has a negligible force against objects and is unable to stop Megan's sword's thrust.
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|Lead is a heavy and dense metal, and as a result, it can stop blows from a sword.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|While water has a greater force than air against objects, it is still not enough to stop Megan's attack.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Glass is easily broken by sharp blows, especially if it isn't tempered, and as a result does not stop Megan's sword.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|A vacuum has no resistance against objects and unsurprisingly is not able to stop Megan's attack.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Oven mitts are typically made of fabric, which would provide only limited protection. They also do not cover the full body.
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|The metallic armor Cueball is wearing was probably designed to stop penetrating and slashing sword blows, with further layers beneath to dampen impacts.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Swords are sharp, and as such are able to break through the thin hazmat suit Cueball is wearing.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|A Faraday cage can be a fine mesh, optimal to screen out various radio frequencies of EM radiation but not intended to stop anything else and comparatively delicate against any physical penetration.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|A shark cage, while able to provide resistance against larger threats, has holes through which Megan's sword can go.

|-
! scope="row"| {{w|Particulate matter#Health problems|Toxic dust}}
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Dust can travel through air, hanging onto small currents. Air does nothing to protect Cueball.
| style="background:#DDDCB2;"|{{w|Lead poisoning|Lead is poisonous}}, so while a solid lead barrier would prevent toxic dust from passing through, any dust or metal fragments from the shield would still be dangerous.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Water actually can be {{w|Dust abatement|used to prevent the spread of dust}}. However, toxic dust that gets into drinking water will {{w|Water pollution#Groundwater pollution|contaminate it}}, and could cause health problems, just as airborne toxic dust can.
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|Dust cannot travel through glass, and being fully encased in a glass bell protects one from dust (though it would bring its own problems).
| style="background:#FFF978;"|With no air to slow it down, dust in space can move at dangerously high speeds, possibly fast enough to tear through Cueball's space suit.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Oven mitts are worn on the hands and do not normally interfere with one's breathing. However, if there is a notable amount of toxic dust in the air, holding an oven mitt over one's face is better than no protection.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|A suit of armor still allows the wearer to breathe, and provides no particular protection from dust.
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|A biohazard suit is fully enclosed with its own internal oxygen supply, and so protects the wearer from airborne particles.
| colspan=2; style="background:#FFF978;"|Both cages are too open to provide any significant protection against dust.

|-
! scope="row"| {{w|Radio}}
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Radio waves are more than able to travel through air. This is what allows walkie-talkies to work.
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|Although lead is a relatively poor conductor and therefore attenuates radio waves less than most metals, a lead enclosure can still work as a Faraday cage with a sufficiently thick layer of lead.
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|Radio waves from two-way radios, like the kind shown in the comic, {{w|Radio propagation#Direct modes (line-of-sight)|cannot penetrate deep water}}. There are {{w|Radio propagation#Surface modes (groundwave)|radio frequencies that ''can'' penetrate deep water}}, but these have a much lower frequency, require more powerful transmitters, and (in the case of {{w|Extremely low frequency#Difficulties of ELF communication|extremely low frequencies}}) cannot transmit audio.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|In a similar way that glass is transparent to visual light, it is also transparent to radio waves, allowing them to pass through.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|As there is nothing getting in the way of radio waves in a vacuum, radios work very well in space. This allows ground control to communicate with astronauts in space.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Oven mitts, typically being made of fabric, have no effect on radio waves.
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|A metal suit of armor blocks radio waves. This is because metals are very good electrical conductors, which block the radio waves.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Biohazard suits do not block radio waves, and someone wearing such a suit can send and receive radio transmissions without issue.
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|A {{w|Faraday cage}} is specifically designed to block electromagnetic fields such as radio waves. In fact, this is the ''only'' 'hazard' here that it blocks.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|The openings in a shark cage are too wide for the cage to experience the properties of a Faraday cage.

|-
! scope="row"| {{w|Sharks}}
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|Sharks cannot travel very far on land or in the air.
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|Shielding yourself with lead plates will effectively protect you against sharks.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Sharks live in water, so water is not an effective shield against sharks.{{cn}}
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|Glass will effectively protect you against sharks, provided that it is thick enough. In fact, sharks are commonly (and safely) shown to the public in aquariums.
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|In the vacuum of space, Cueball is very far from sharks' ocean habitat (though he may be at risk of [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5xcvAoKojo dolphins]).
| style="background:#FFF978;"|Although shark-shaped Oven mitts are quite common due to their similar appearance, oven mitts are not very effective at stopping sharks.{{cn}}
| style="background:#DDDCB2;"|Depending on the design of the armor, a shark might be able to permanently deform it enough that it causes injury, though the more flexible {{w|Chain_mail#Practical_uses|chain mail}} ''is'' successfully used to prevent actual piercing damage from bites.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|A biohazard suit is weak enough that a shark can rip through it.
| style="background:#FFF978;"|A Faraday cage is weak enough that a shark can rip through it.
| style="background:#C4C5C7;"|A shark cage is specifically designed to protect against sharks. In fact, this is the ''only'' hazard here that it blocks.
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
:[The whole comic is in one panel]
:[A 10x10 matrix sits in the middle with rows labelled as follows:]
:Gamma Rays
:Neutrons
:Alpha Particles
:Light
:Sound
:Heat
:Swords
:Toxic Dust
:Radio
:Sharks
:[The columns are:]
:Air
:Lead
:Water
:Glass
:Vacuum
:Oven Mitts
:Armor
:Bio-Hazard Suit
:Faraday Cage
:Shark Cage


:[In all of the Gamma Ray boxes, Cueball stands next to a gamma ray emitter with a smattering of dots a short distance away from it, which is perched on a table as necessary, a geiger counter held in his hand or worn.]

:[Gamma Rays vs. Air - yellow tile]
:[Just standing a few feet from the emitter. The geiger counter Cueball wears beeps three times:] Beep Beep Beep!

:[Gamma Rays vs. Lead - gray tile]
:[The gamma ray emitter and the table have a lead enclosure covering them. The geiger counter, held towards everything else in Cueball's hand, does not beep.]

:[Gamma Rays vs. Water - grayish-yellow tile]
:[The gamma ray emitter and table are placed in a large, nearly full, glass of water. Cueball's outstretched geiger counter beeps once:] Beep!

:[Gamma Rays vs. Glass - yellow tile]
:[A glass 'bell-jar' covers the gamma ray emitter, atop the table, the geiger counter beeps three times:] Beep Beep Beep!

:[Gamma Rays vs. Vacuum - yellow tile]
:[The gamma ray emitter appears to be held within an open hatch of a satellite. The satellite, together with a spacesuited Cueball, can be seen to be in orbit around the Earth. His chest-mounted geiger counter is transmitting three beeps:] Beep Beep Beep

:[Gamma Rays vs. Oven Mitts - yellow tile]
:[Megan stands to the left of the gamma ray emitter, wearing oven mitts and covering the emitter with one hand. Cueball’s body-mounted geiger counter beeps three times:] Beep Beep Beep

:[Gamma Rays vs. Armor - yellow tile]
:[Cueball stands to the right of the gamma ray emitter wearing a suit of plate armor. From inside the armor, his Geiger counter beeps three times:] Beep Beep Beep

:[Gamma Rays vs. Bio-Hazard Suit - yellow tile]
:[Cueball stands to the right of the gamma ray emitter wearing a bio-hazard suit. From inside the suit, his Geiger counter beeps three times:] Beep Beep Beep

:[Gamma Rays vs. Faraday Cage - yellow tile]
:[Cueball is surrounded by a mesh cage. His geiger counter beeps three times:] Beep Beep Beep

:[Gamma Rays vs. Shark Cage - yellow tile]
:[Cueball is within a barred cage. His geiger counter beeps three times:] Beep Beep Beep

:[In all of the Neutron boxes, Cueball stands next to a neutron emitter, that looks like two half-sphere shells that are angled slightly open in Cueball's direction, in similar scenarios to the above but with a heftier pedestal in place of the table. No visible effects emit from the emitter. Cueball holds the top handle of the same large detector in each scenario.]

:[Neutrons vs. Air - yellow tile]
:[The detector emits two clicks:] Click Click

:[Neutrons vs. Lead - grayish-yellow tile]
:[The emitter and pedestal are within their lead enclosure. The detector clicks once:] Click

:[Neutrons vs. Water - gray tile]
:[The emitter and pedestal are in the large glass of water. The detector makes no noise.]

:[Neutrons vs. Glass - yellow tile]
:[The glass bell-jar covers the pedestalled emitter. The detector clicks twice:] Click Click

:[Neutrons vs. Vacuum - yellow tile]
:[The emitter sits in the satellite's open hatch. Spacesuited Cueball's hand-held detector transmits two clicks:] Click Click

:[Neutrons vs. Oven Mitts - yellow tile]
:[Megan wears oven gloves and covers the emitter, on its pedestal, with both hands. Cueball's detector clicks twice:] Click Click

:[Neutrons vs. Armor - yellow tile]
:[Cueball has removed his armor’s helmet and placed it over the emitter. His detector clicks twice:] Click Click

:[Neutrons vs. Bio-Hazard Suit - yellow tile]
:[Cueball stands as normal, having draped his unworn biohazard suit over the emitter, leaving the hood on the floor. His detector sounds two clicks:] Click Click

:[Neutrons vs. Faraday Cage - yellow tile]
:[Within his mesh cage, two clicks come from Cueball's detector:] Click Click

:[Neutrons vs. Shark Cage - yellow tile]
:[Within a barred cage, the detector Cueball holds clicks twice:] Click Click

:[In all of the Alpha Particle boxes, it is a small spherical mass or flask with 'fizzy' strands or dashes, set in the same base scenarios as previously.]

:[Alpha Particles vs. Air - gray tile]
:[Cueball is holding a detector and looking at it. The detector is doing nothing.]

:[Alpha Particles vs. Lead - gray tile]
:[There is a lead wall between the alpha particle source and Cueball. Cueball's worn detector is doing nothing.]

:[Alpha Particles vs. Water - gray tile]
:[The alpha particle item is stood in a large glass of water. Cueball is holding a detector and looking at it. The detector is doing nothing.]
:[Cueball:] Does this thing even work?

:[Alpha Particles vs. Glass - gray tile]
:[The source, on its table, is covered by a bell-jar. Cueball stands looking at it, wearing a detector that does nothing.]

:[Alpha Particles vs. Vacuum - yellow tile]
:[The source of alpha particles is inside the open satellite hatch. Spacesuited Cueball floats nearby, with a detector that transmits three beeps:] Beep Beep Beep

:[Alpha Particles vs. Oven Mitts - gray tile]
:[Megan wears over mitts, placing one over the source on its table. Cueball looks ok, his worn detector doing nothing.]

:[Alpha Particles vs. Armor - gray tile]
:[Cueball, in his full suit of armor, has picked up the source from its table and is holding it directly in his hand. There is no sign of any detector activity occuring.]

:[Alpha Particles vs. Bio-Hazard Suit - gray tile]
:[Cueball, wearing the bio-hazard suit, looks impassively at the source on the top of its table. There are no beeps.]

:[Alpha Particles vs. Faraday Cage - yellow tile]
:[The table with the source has been moved to be right next to the mesh cage. Cueball, inside the cage, presses right up to the inside of the same mesh edge, putting his detector right next to it. There are three beeps:] Beep Beep Beep

:[Alpha Particles vs. Shark Cage - yellow tile]
:[Again, the source, on its table, is right next to the bars of the cage. And, again, Cueball is pressed right up against (and perhaps through) the inside edge of the cage. Three beeps sound:] Beep Beep Beep

:[In all of the light boxes, Megan points a brightly lit battery torch towards Cueball.]

:[Light vs. Air - yellow tile]
:[Megan points the torch towards Cueball. Rays of lights splay out over Cueball's face as he instinctively holds one arm protectively over his eyes.]
:[Cueball:] Ow.

:[Light vs. Lead - gray tile]
:[Megan points the torch towards Cueball, but only illuminates a lead wall that stands between them. Cueball makes no reaction.]

:[Light vs. Water - grayish-yellow tile]
:[Megan stands nose-deep in the giant glass of water, aiming her shining torch out through the water and out of the glass towards Cueball. Cueball shields his eyes with his arm, but is silent.]

:[Light vs. Glass - yellow tile]
:[Megan stands within a person-sized bell-jar, shining her torch towards Cueball, who is outside and shielding his eyes.]
:[Cueball:] Ow.

:[Light vs. Vacuum - yellow tile]
:[Megan and Cueball, in spacesuits (i.e. with 'fishbowl helmets'), are seen orbiting high above the planet below. Megan holds a torch, shining it towards Cueball.]
:[Cueball:] Ow.

:[Light vs. Oven Mitts - gray tile]
:[Megan points her torch towards Cueball. Cueball wears oven-gloves, and casually holds one begloved hand over the end of the torch, from which no light is seen.]

:[Light vs. Armor - grey tile]
:[Megan shones her torch upon the armored figure of Cueball, whose helmet visor is down.]
:[Cueball:] Nope.

:[Light vs. Bio-Hazard Suit - grey tile]
:[Megan makes to point her torch at Cueball, who is dressed in all but the hood of his bio-hazard suit. He holds the hood out, fully covering Megan's torch.]

:[Light vs. Faraday Cage - yellow tile]
:[The torch is pointed by Megan towards Cueball, arm across his eyes as he stands within in his mesh cage.]
:[Cueball:] Ow.

:[Light vs. Shark Cage - yellow tile]
:[Megan's torch shines through the bars of the cage at Cueball, his arm protectively held up.]
:[Cueball:] Ow.

:[In most of the sound boxes, Megan appears to be screaming in Cueball's direction.]

:[Sound vs. Air - yellow tile]
:[Cueball stands with his hands over his ears, as a tensed-up Megan lets out a loud scream.]
:[Megan:] AAAAAAAAA!

:[Sound vs. Lead - yellow tile]
:[Between Megan and Cueball is a full-height thick lead wall. Megan is tapping on her side.]
:[Megan:] Knock Knock
:[Cueball:] Who is it?

:[Sound vs. Water - yellow tile]
:[An underwater scene, showing sea-floor with various corals/sea-plants. Just above is a dolphin, projecting sound waves towards two small fish.]

:[Sound vs. Glass - yellow tile]
:[Megan is stood within her person-sized bell-jar, screaming loudly. The bell-jar is vibrating. Cueball is covering his ears.]
:[Megan, in notably distorted text:] AAAAAAAA!

:[Sound vs. Vacuum - grey tile]
:[Megan and Cueball float in space, high above the planet. They are both wearing space helmets. An abortive speech-bubble emerges from Megan's helmet.]
:[Megan:] .....

:[Sound vs. Oven Mitts - greyish-yellow tile]
:[Megan stands to the left of Cueball, wearing oven-gloves. Her hands are over her mouth, muffling her attempts to say anything.]
:[Megan:] <two lines of unintelligble sounds>

:[Sound vs. Armor - yellow tile]
:[Megan is holding her hands over her ears. Cueball is wearing his suit of armor, which is vibrating, while he emits a large scream.]
:[Cueball:] AAAAAAAAA!

:[Sound vs. Bio-Hazard Suit - yellow tile]
:[Megan has her hands over her ears. Cueball is screaming from within his bio-hazard suit.]
:[Cueball:] AAAAAAAAA!

:[Sound vs. Faraday Cage - yellow tile]
:[Megan is yelling at Cueball, standing within his mesh cage with his hands over his ears.]
:[Megan:] AAAAAAAA!

:[Sound vs. Shark Cage - yellow tile]
:[Megan yells, as Cueball holds his hands over his ears behind the bars of the cage.]
:[Megan:] AAAAAAAA!

:[All of the fire boxes show a small campfire, or other more expansive flames. In all but one case, Cueball is present. In most of these instances, he is holding a marshmallow, sometimes at the end of a long stick.]

:[Heat vs. Air - yellow tile]
:[There is a campfire, with Cueball extending a stick-speared marshmallow over it.]

:[Heat vs. Lead - yellow tile]
:[A campfire has a lead slab propped up above it. Cueball's marshmallow-stick is being held to its upper surface.]
:[Marshmallow:] TSSSSS
:[Voice from off-panel:] NO!

:[Heat vs. Water - yellow tile]
:[A campfire heats a cauldron/cooking-pot held over it. Cueball dips his stick with a marshmallow into the container as splashes/vapor emerge. Megan stands behind Cueball.]
:[Cueball:] They're better boiled.
:[Megan:] NO!

:[Heat vs. Glass - yellow tile]
:[With a campfire between them, Megan and Cueball stand with sticks in their hands, held close to the fire. Megan has speared her own marshmallow. Cueball holds something, that looks like a wine bottle, in a forked/looped end, a few small puffs of vapor emerging from open top of the bottle.]

:[Heat vs. Vacuum - greyish-yellow tile]
:[Surrounded by a general setting of flames, there appears to be a cross-section of a vacuum flask. The neck of the flask is plugged. The inside of the flask appears to be half full of liquid with some solid chunks floating in it.]
:[Arrowed label, pointing at the flask's chunks:] Ice

:[Heat vs. Oven Mitts - grey tile]
:[Megan and Cueball stand around the campfire, Megan holding her marshmallow-on-a-stick. Cueball is wearing oven gloves and, with one hand almost over the flames, is holding the handle of a frying pan that is actually in the flames. Something (possibly a marshmallow) seems to be sizzling in the pan.]

:[Heat vs. Armor - yellow tile]
:[Megan is holding her marshmallow stick over the campfire. Cueball is holding his marshmallow over the fire, directly in his gauntleted hand, as he wears the full armor.]
:[Cueball:] OW! OW!

:[Heat vs. Bio-Hazard Suit - yellow tile]
:[Around the campfire, Megan toasts her marshmallow normally. Cueball wears his biohazard suit, holding his gloved hand close to the flames whilst holding a marshmallow.]
:[Cueball:] Ow! Ow!

:[Heat vs. Faraday Cage - yellow tile]
:[The campfire is built just to the left of the mesh cage, within which Cueball is standing.]
:[Cueball:] Mmm, warm.

:[Heat vs. Shark Cage - yellow tile]
:[Cueball's cage has a campfire just outside its bars.]
:[Cueball:] Mmm, warm.



:[In all of the sword boxes, Megan is thrusting a sword rightwards, towards/into Cueball, in this row. Cueball also holds a sword, in all but one case, but lowered and not in a defensive manner.]

:[Swords vs. Air - yellow tile]
:[Megan is poking Cueball with a sword.]
:[Cueball:] Ow.

:[Swords vs. Lead - gray tile]
:[Cueball is standing in a lead container as Megan hits her sword against the outside of it, making a metallic sound:] Clank

:[Swords vs. Water - yellow tile]
:[Cueball and Megan are both underwater, wearing diving gear. Megan is poking Cueball with her sword.]
:[Cueball:] Ow.

:[Swords vs. Glass - yellow tile]
:[Megan is standing in her person-sized bell jar; however, she has smashed a hole in the side and is now poking Cueball with her sword through the hole.]
:[Cueball:] Ow.

:[Swords vs. Vacuum - yellow tile]
:[Cueball and Megan are floating in space, wearing spacesuits. Megan is poking Cueball with her sword.]
:[Cueball:] Ow.

:[Swords vs. Oven Mitts - yellow tile]
:[Cueball stands next to Megan, wearing oven mitts. Megan is poking him with her sword.]
:[Cueball:] Ow.

:[Swords vs. Armor - gray tile]
:[Cueball is standing in a suit of armor next to Megan. She tries to poke him but cannot penetrate the armor, instead producing a metallic "clink"]
:[Cueball:] Ha!

:[Swords vs. Bio-Hazard Suit - yellow tile]
:[Cueball is wearing his biohazard suit as Megan pokes him with her sword.]
:[Cueball:] Ow.

:[Swords vs. Faraday Cage - yellow tile]
:[Cueball is standing inside a person-sized Faraday cage as Megan pokes him with her sword through the mesh.]
:[Cueball:] Ow.

:[Swords vs. Shark Cage - yellow tile]
:[Cueball is standing inside of a shark cage as Megan pokes him with her sword through the bars.]
:[Cueball:] Ow.

:[In all of the tiles in the Toxic Dust row, clouds, and further particulate specks, illustrate the toxic dust, in several cases, apparently being discharged by a burning brazier. All tiles have Cueball in the scene.]

:[Toxic Dust vs. Air - yellow tile]
:[Cueball is standing next to a container resembling a metal trash can, with flames visible on top and a cloud of smoke and particulates rising from the flames.]

:[Toxic Dust vs. Lead - grayish-yellow tile]
:[The burning trash can is encased in a rectangular lead box. Cueball is touching the outside of the lead box as a few particulates are coming off of it.]
:[Cueball:] This shield is also ''producing'' toxic dust.

:[Toxic Dust vs. Water - yellow tile]
:[Cueball and Megan are both standing (presumably) outside, watching as particulates hover in the air. There are a few clouds present as well.]
:[Cueball:] Don't worry, this will all be safely absorbed by the groundwater.

:[Toxic Dust vs. Glass - gray tile]
:[Cueball is standing in a person-sized bell jar as toxic dust floats around the outside of it.]

:[Toxic Dust vs. Vacuum - yellow tile]
:[Cueball is floating in space next to a satellite with an open hatch that is emitting toxic dust.]
:[Satellite:] Achoo!
:[Cueball:] My suit!

:[Toxic Dust vs. Oven Mitts - yellow tile]
:[Cueball is standing next to the burning trash can and covering his face with an oven-mitted hand.]
:[Cueball:] ''Cough''

:[Toxic Dust vs. Armor - yellow tile]
:[Cueball is standing next to the burning trash can in a suit of armor.]
:[Cueball:] ''Cough''

:[Toxic Dust vs. Bio-Hazard Suit - gray tile]
:[Cueball is standing next to the burning trash can while wearing his biohazard suit. He is unaffected by the toxic dust it is producing.]

:[Toxic Dust vs. Faraday Cage - yellow tile]
:[Cueball is standing next to the burning trash can in a person-sized Faraday cage.]
:[Cueball:] ''Cough''

:[Toxic Dust vs. Shark Cage - yellow tile]
:[Cueball is standing in a shark cage next to the burning trash can.]
:[Cueball:] ''Cough''

:[Most tiles in the radio row depict Cueball carrying a two-way radio handset, except where the transceiver appears to be part of the various protective suits that he is wearing.]

:[Radio vs. Air - yellow tile]
:[Cueball is holding a handheld two-way radio in his right hand, close to his face, and speaking into it. A voice from the radio is responding to him.]
:[Cueball:] Eagle Base, come in.
:[Radio:] Go ahead.

:[Radio vs. Lead - gray tile
:[Cueball is standing inside a lead box, again holding the radio close to his face.]
:[Cueball:] Eagle Base, come in? Hello?

:[Radio vs. Water - gray tile]
:[Cueball is underwater, in a diving suit. He is once again holding a hand radio. Bubbles are rising from his helmet and a shark is swimming underneath him.]
:[Cueball:] Hello?

:[Radio vs. Glass - yellow tile]
:[Cueball is standing inside a person-sized bell jar, holding the radio close to his face.]
:[Cueball:] Is this... part of the mission?
:[Radio:] Sure.

:[Radio vs. Vacuum - yellow tile]
:[Cueball is floating in space next to the satellite. He is not visibly holding a radio, implying that it is integrated into his spacesuit.]
:[Cueball:] Eagle Base, I have the package.

:[Radio vs. Oven Mitts - yellow tile
:[Cueball is wearing oven mitts while holding the radio close to his face.]
:[Cueball:] Eagle Base, tactical mitts acquired.
:[Radio:] Copy that.

:[Radio vs. Armor - gray tile]
:[Cueball is standing in a suit of armor. He is not visibly holding a radio.]
:[Cueball:] Repeat that? My suit radio is having issues.

:[Radio vs. Bio-Hazard Suit - yellow tile]
:[Cueball is wearing his biohazard suit. He is not visibly holding a radio.]
:[Cueball: Copy that.]

:[Radio vs. Faraday Cage - gray tile
:[Cueball is standing inside a person-sized Faraday cage, holding the radio close to his face.]
:[Cueball:] Eagle Base? Come in?

:[Radio vs. Shark Cage - yellow tile]
:[Cueball is standing in a shark cage, holding the radio close to his face.]
:[Cueball:] Eagle Base, why am I-
:[Radio:] Don't worry about it.

:[All tiles in the Shark row depict a shark, except when only the shark's fin is seen emerging from a body of water. Cueball is somehow present in each case.]

:[Sharks vs. Air - gray tile]
:[Cueball is standing on land next to a body of water. A shark fin is protruding from the surface of the water.]

:[Sharks vs. Lead - gray tile]
:[Cueball, wearing diving gear, is standing on the ocean floor in a person-sized lead container. A few small fish are swimming above and to the left of him and a shark is floating below the fish.]

:[Sharks vs. Water - yellow tile]
:[Cueball is again underwater, wearing diving gear. He is very close to a shark and seems to be pointing at it.]
:[Cueball:] Kitty!

:[Sharks vs. Glass - gray tile]
:[The shark is now in a water tank, behind a wall of glass. Cueball and Megan are standing next to the tank, looking at what is likely an informative plaque in front of it.]

:[Sharks vs. Vacuum - gray tile]
:[Cueball is floating in space. Earth is visible in the background, with a shark fin visibly protruding from a body of water.]

:[Sharks vs. Oven Mitts - yellow tile]
:[Cueball is underwater, wearing diving gear and oven mitts, he gently touches the shark's snout.]
:[Cueball:] ''Boop!''

:[Sharks vs. Armor - grayish-yellow tile]
:[Cueball is underwater, now wearing a suit of armor. The shark appears to be biting his armored right hand.]
:[Shark:] cronch cronch
:[Cueball:] Ow.

:[Sharks vs. Bio-Hazard Suit - yellow tile]
:[Cueball, underwater and wearing his biohazard suit, is now petting the shark on its snout.]
:[Cueball:] Good kitty!

:[Sharks vs. Faraday Cage - yellow tile]
:[Cueball is inside an underwater Faraday cage, which is suspended by a tether going straight up. The shark is in the process of tearing apart the cage.]
:[Cueball:] ''No! Bad kitty!''

:[Sharks vs. Shark Cage - gray tile]
:[Cueball is underwater, in a shark cage suspended from one side by a tether going straight up. The shark is swimming a short distance away from the cage.]

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Confusion matrices]]
[[Category:Sharks]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]

3209: Plums

2026-02-19T04:38:38Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

{{comic
| number = 3209
| date = February 18, 2026
| title = Plums
| image = plums_2x.png
| imagesize = 251x409px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = My icebox plum trap easily captured William Carlos Williams. It took much less work than the infinite looping network of diverging paths I had to build in that yellow wood to ensnare Robert Frost.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
This is a reference to the poem [https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/56159/this-is-just-to-say This Is Just to Say], where the narrator is apologizing for eating the plums in the icebox. In this comic, the joke is that Cueball cannot resist eating the plums from the icebox as a reference to the poem.

The title-text is a joke about trapping poets with references to their own poems, referencing another well-known poem, [https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44272/the-road-not-taken The Road Not Taken] by Robert Frost.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
:Out of view: I got you the ingredients for dinner tonight.
:Out of view: Oh, and the plums in the fridge drawer are for my yogurt tomorrow; you should just leave them.
:Out of view: Be back later!
:Cueball, thinking: Oh no.
:Caption: Help. It actually happened. I shouldn't, but how can I not!?
{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly

2026-02-18T20:36:22Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

*Score: {{#cscore:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|score}}
*Pages edited: {{#cscore:Qwertyuiopfromdefly}} of {{NUMBEROFPAGES}}
*Total edits: {{#cscore:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|changes}}

== my userboxes ==
{{Userbox | border-c = #099 | border-s = 3 | info-s = 9 | info-c = #a4a|id = COOL TEXT| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|this user has some idea of what the little thingies in this userbox mean]] | float = left}}
{{Userbox | border-c = #033 | border-s = 3| info-s = 9 | info-c = #a4a|id = COOL TEXT| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|this user has yet to open explain xkcd on a non-mobile device]] | float = right}}

== Things I find cool ==
[https://euphoria.leet.nu/room/xkcd]

== testing ==
{{Userbox | border-c = #099 | border-s = 3 | info-s = 9 | info-c = #a4a|id = COOL TEXT|id-c = #a5ffff| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Testing text]] | float = left}}

User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly

2026-02-18T20:31:31Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

*Score: {{#cscore:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|score}}
*Pages edited: {{#cscore:Qwertyuiopfromdefly}} of {{NUMBEROFPAGES}}
*Total edits: {{#cscore:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|changes}}

== my userboxes ==
{{Userbox | border-c = #099 | border-s = 3 | info-s = 9 | info-c = #a4a|id = COOL TEXT| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|this user has some idea of what the little thingies in this userbox mean]] | float = left}}
{{Userbox | border-c = #033 | border-s = 3| info-s = 9 | info-c = #a4a|id = COOL TEXT| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|this user has yet to open explain xkcd on a non-mobile device]] | float = right}}

== Things I find cool ==
[https://euphoria.leet.nu/room/xkcd]

== testing ==
{{Userbox | border-c = #099 | border-s = 3 | info-s = 9 | info-c = #a4a|id = COOL TEXT|id-c = #a5ffff| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|testing text]] | float = left}}

User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly

2026-02-18T20:22:38Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly

2026-02-18T20:16:43Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly

2026-02-18T20:15:23Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

*Score: {{#cscore:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|score}}
*Pages edited: {{#cscore:Qwertyuiopfromdefly}} of {{NUMBEROFPAGES}}
*Total edits: {{#cscore:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|changes}}

== my userboxes ==
{{Userbox | border-c = #099 | border-s = 3 | info-s = 9 | info-c = #a4a|id = COOL TEXT| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|this user has some idea of what the little thingies in this userbox mean]] | float = left}}
{{Userbox | border-c = #033 | border-s = 3| info-s = 9 | info-c = #a4a|id = COOL TEXT| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|this user has yet to open explain xkcd on a non-mobile device]] | float = right}}

== Things I find cool ==
[https://euphoria.leet.nu/room/xkcd]

== testing ==
{{Userbox | border-c = #099 | border-s = 3 | info-s = 9 | info-c = #a4a|id = COOL TEXT|id-c = #a5ffff| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|this user has some idea of what the little thingies in this userbox mean]] | float = left}}

User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly

2026-02-18T20:10:05Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly

2026-02-18T20:08:36Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly

2026-02-18T03:30:17Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly

2026-02-17T06:29:15Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

{{Userbox | border-c = #099 | border-s = 3 | info-s = 9 | info-c = #a4a|id = COOL TEXT| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|this user has no idea what the liitle thingies in this userbox mean]] | float = left}}
{{Userbox | border-c = #033 | border-s = 3| info-s = 9 | info-c = #a4a|id = COOL TEXT| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|this user has yet to open explain xkcd on a non-mobile device]] | float = right}}

== Things I find cool ==
[https://euphoria.leet.nu/room/xkcd]

User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly

2026-02-17T06:07:00Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

<nowiki>:D</nowiki> [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Qwertyuiopfromdefly]] ([[User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|talk]]) 06:05, 17 February 2026 (UTC)

User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly

2026-02-17T06:05:37Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: Created page with ":D ~~~~"

:D [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Qwertyuiopfromdefly]] ([[User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|talk]]) 06:05, 17 February 2026 (UTC)

User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly

2026-02-17T06:03:33Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: Created page with " {{Userbox | border-c = #099 | border-s = 10 | info-s = 9 | id = COOL TEXT| info = User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|this user has no idea what the liitle thingies in this userbox me..."

{{Userbox | border-c = #099 | border-s = 10 | info-s = 9 | id = COOL TEXT| info = [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|this user has no idea what the liitle thingies in this userbox mean]] | float = left}}

3208: SNEWS

2026-02-17T05:55:00Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: swapped trivia to be below the transcript

{{comic
| number = 3208
| date = February 16, 2026
| title = SNEWS
| image = snews_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x321px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = People say setting of fireworks indoors is dangerous, but I looked at their energy release and it's like 10^-40 foe; totally negligible.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a Type Ia firework display that Ponytail set off. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
[[Ponytail]] is showing [[Hairy]] her bedroom. Hairy asks about the large device on the ceiling, and Ponytail explains that it is part of the {{w|SNEWS}} (SuperNova Early Warning System). This detects {{w|neutrino|neutrinos}} (tiny particles that travel near the speed of light, rarely interacting with matter) to give pre-notice of supernovae, as neutrinos are produced in large quantities during the collapse of the star core, which occurs hours before the main photon production. She explains this gives astronomers warning, allowing them to observe the event with telescopes and other instruments.

Hairy then asks regarding the nature of the visible equipment mounted on the ceiling, which has several protruding barrels. His first assumption is that it is either detector as part of the SNEWS, or some kind of telescope to be used in the event the SNEWS goes off. Ponytail explains that the device it is in fact a fireworks launcher, for the purposes of waking her up so she can witness the supernova herself. This is a '''very''' bad idea for a multitude of reasons. Reckless usage of fireworks is already known for causing significant property damage and personal injury even when used outdoors; launching fireworks inside the house means causing an explosion in a controlled area, guaranteeing that it will hit the building, maximizing the opportunity for the conflagration to ignite something flammable on the structure, and containing and therefore amplifying the sound of the burst (which can already deafen people who are too close).

Some people don't easily wake up to a simple alarm clock, especially if it is in reach and has a "snooze" function where a button will silence the alarm for several minutes before it beeps again. Note the similar sounds of "snooze" and SNEWS may be part of the joke.

Understandably, Hairy {{tvtropes|ScrewThisImOuttaHere|leaves to sleep at his own house}}.

The comic title "SNEWS" is an acronym from the beginning of the strip: SuperNova Early Warning System. It is also a play on "news"

The title text is a play on the tremendous amount of energy released by a supernova. The {{w|Foe (unit)|foe}} is an unofficial unit of energy approximately equal to 10^44 Joule (but named directly from initials in the original quantity of "ten to the fifty-one ergs", involving a {{w|Erg|pre-SI}} measurement of energy), which is on the order of the usual amount of energy released by a supernova. In comparison, human-scale amounts of energy — even relatively significant ones such as firework detonations — are negligible. This ignores the fact that energy releases that are "negligible in comparison to a supernova" can still be easily fatal to humans; the baseline 'foe' value is approximately ''twenty-seven'' orders of magnitude greater than even the largest man-made nuclear explosion. The described "10-40 foe" is equal to 10 kJ, the energy released by the complete combustion of about 0.6 g of table sugar (sucrose), or the decomposition of 6.75 g of nitrocellulose.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
:[Ponytail is walking into her room. The room has a bed, a set of drawers and a large sci-fi device mounted on the ceiling. Hairy is standing in the room, pointing up at the device.]
:Hairy: What's that device?
:Ponytail: Part of the supernova early warning system.
:Ponytail: There hasn't been a Milky Way supernova in over a century.
:Ponytail: Astronomers don't want to miss the next one.

:[Close up of Ponytail, now sitting on the end of the bed]
:Ponytail: 20 years ago, we set up a supernova alert system using neutrino detectors.
:Ponytail: It should give us a few hours' advance notice.

:[In a frame-less panel the view zooms back out, showing Ponytail and Hairy.]
:Ponytail: If it ever goes off, every astronomer on earth will scramble to point their equipment at the sky.
:Hairy: Oh, OK. So is that a detector? Or some kind of telescope?

:[The panel moves to the right, showing Hairy walking away. Ponytail is still on the end of the bed, raising a clenched fist for dramatic effect.]
:Ponytail: Fireworks launcher.
:Ponytail: I '''''refuse''''' to sleep through a supernova.
:Hairy: I think I'll spend the night at my place instead.

==Trivia==
The word "off" is misspelled as "of" in the title text.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]

3207: Bad Map Projection: Zero Declination

2026-02-17T04:59:05Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: added category

{{comic
| number = 3207
| date = February 13, 2026
| title = Bad Map Projection: Zero Declination
| image = bad_map_projection_zero_declination.png
| imagesize = 740x544px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 'The zero line in WMM2025 passes through a lot of population centers; I wonder what year the largest share of the population lived in a zone of less than 5° of declination,' he thought, derailing all other tasks for the rest of the day.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by a misaligned map. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
This is the tenth comic in the [[:Category:Bad Map Projections|Bad Map Projections]] series, displaying Bad Map Projection #216: Zero Declination.

While the Earth's magnetic field is broadly aligned North-South, the actual alignment of the magnetic field varies over time and position. The difference between True North (the axis of Earth's rotation) and Magnetic North (the direction a compass will point) will vary depending on your position, and is known as the {{w|Magnetic Declination}} of that point.

The comic shows a map that has been distorted based on the Magnetic Declination such that Magnetic North for every point is pointed toward the top of the map. If this were reality, then Magnetic North would always be aligned with True North, or in other words, there would be Zero Declination at all points.

The red arrows indicate the distortions from the starting map required to make Magnetic North be at the top.

In the title text, "WMM2025" refers to the 2025 version of the {{w|World Magnetic Model}}, a representation of the Earth's magnetic field. You can see it [https://web.archive.org/web/20260212034745/https://www.ncei.noaa.gov/sites/default/files/inline-images/D.jpg here]. The "zero line" is in green, which shows where in the world magnetic declination is 0°. [[Randall]] has presumably wasted a day trying to figure out what year has had the most population living in an area of less than 5° declination by searching through previous WMM maps. He appears to have not found the answer, but luckily explainxkcd user Ahogue [[356|finished the job]] and made a [https://awhogue.github.io/zero-declination/output/ beautiful interactive map] to let you see that the answer is 2000!

You can see magnetic declination [https://www.ncei.noaa.gov/maps/historical-declination/ historical data here].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics with red annotations]]
[[Category:Bad Map Projections]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

Talk:2028: Complex Numbers

2026-02-17T03:34:11Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: commented again

I assume this is strictly a coincidence, but in reference to the title-text, I'll just mention that Caucher Birkar [the mathematician whose Fields Medal was stolen minutes after he received it in Rio de Janeiro on Weds (1Aug2018)] received the award for work in algebraic geometry. [[User:Arcanechili|Arcanechili]] ([[User talk:Arcanechili|talk]]) 16:34, 3 August 2018 (UTC)
* Perhaps it's causal not coincidental. Medal theives and perhaps Randall might read the news also. [[https://scholar.google.com/scholar?cluster=8941732171299849045&hl=en&as_sdt=0,39&sciodt=0,39]] [[Special:Contributions/162.158.79.209|162.158.79.209]] 00:34, 4 August 2018 (UTC)

I've added a basic description of Abelian groups in the title text, and that's about as much as I know about such topics. I'm not sure what a "meta-Abelian group" is, is that an Abelian group of other groups? Also, could someone add basic descriptions of algebreic geometry and geometrical algebra? [[Special:Contributions/172.68.94.40|172.68.94.40]] 18:42, 3 August 2018 (UTC)

In the title text, since groups are a concept within mathematics, it seems odd to consider mathematics as a whole forming any sort of group within itself, which I suspect is the first part of the pun. Secondly, since groups involve the commutative property, I think the last part is a pun about the order of the words algebra and geometry, as if they're commutative themselves! [[User:Ianrbibtitlht|Ianrbibtitlht]] ([[User talk:Ianrbibtitlht|talk]]) 19:19, 3 August 2018 (UTC)
: I meant to say 'abelian' groups involve the commutative property, and the meta prefix is referring to the fact that it's about the names rather than the mathematical details - i.e. commutative in metadata only. [[User:Ianrbibtitlht|Ianrbibtitlht]] ([[User talk:Ianrbibtitlht|talk]]) 19:24, 3 August 2018 (UTC)

: I guess the joke is that informally mathematicians form a ''group'' (a number of people classed together), what would strictly be a ''set'' in mathematics. While in mathematics, a group is an algebraic structure consisting of a set of elements equipped with an operation that combines any two elements to form a third element and that satisfies specific conditions. --[[User:JakubNarebski|JakubNarebski]] ([[User talk:JakubNarebski|talk]]) 21:18, 3 August 2018 (UTC)

It's a false dilemma. Complex numbers ''are'' vectors (<math>\mathbb{C}</math> is a two-dimensional <math>\mathbb{R}</math>-vector space, and more generally every field is a vector space over any subfield), but that doesn't change anything about the fact that <math>i</math> is by definition a square root of -1. [[User:Zmatt|Zmatt]] ([[User talk:Zmatt|talk]]) 20:38, 3 August 2018 (UTC)

Important concepts in math usually show up naturally in many apparently unrelated areas. Each area will name and define a concept that makes sense for the problems being considered. One of the joys of math is proving that multiple, apparently unrelated, definitions are equivalent. When definitions are equivalent you cannot pick "the one true definition" -- any of them will do. However the principle of maximum laziness leads to the one with the easiest notion being used as a canonical definition.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.75.130|162.158.75.130]] 18:17, 7 August 2018 (UTC)

Fun factoid: not only is <math>\mathbb{C}</math> the unique proper field extension of finite degree over <math>\mathbb{R}</math> (since <math>\mathbb{C}</math> is algebraically closed), but the converse is true as well: <math>\mathbb{R}</math> is the only proper subfield of finite index in <math>\mathbb{C}</math>. They're like a weird married couple. [[User:Zmatt|Zmatt]] ([[User talk:Zmatt|talk]]) 20:53, 3 August 2018 (UTC)

Altho there are no "meta-abelian" groups there are metabelian groups. If xy=yx then the commutator [x,y]=xyx^{-1}y^{-1}=1. The group generated by the commutators -- the commutator subgroup -- is thus a measure of how far a group is from being abelian. A metabelian group is a nonabelian group whose commutator subgroup is abelian. Thus a metabelian group is one made of a stack of two abelian groups. It is "meta-abelian" in that sense. A standard example is the group of invertible upper-trianglular matrices. The commutators all have 1s on the diagonals.

:One should note that the concept of complex numbers actually is older than vector spaces. So while it is true that complex numbers are a cool variant of vectors, historically that's not true, because vectors were more or less unknown when complex numbers were used for the first time. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.90.6|162.158.90.6]] 09:59, 4 August 2018 (UTC)

Shouldn't the description of a group involve ''two'' operations? There is a binary operation that gloms two things together to make a new thing, but there's also a unary operation that takes only one thing and makes a new thing -- the inverse. Without the unary operation, you only have a {{w|semigroup}}.[[Special:Contributions/108.162.215.160|108.162.215.160]] 09:40, 5 August 2018 (UTC)
: No. The inverse operation arises as a consequence of the fact that it's a group. A group satisfies four conditions: 1. it is closed under the operation, 2. the operation is associative 3. there is an identity e such that a op e = e op a = a. 4. For every element a, there is a unique element b such that a op b = b op a = e. The inverse function falls out as a result of conditions 3 and 4 [[User:Jeremyp|Jeremyp]] ([[User talk:Jeremyp|talk]]) 10:26, 6 August 2018 (UTC)

Real numbers with regular multiplication is not a group, as zero does not have an inverse element. The example would work with addition --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.134.112|162.158.134.112]] 13:48, 9 August 2018 (UTC)Random guy who read the article

"Does any of this really have to do with vectors? Or do mathematicians just think they're too cool for regular floating point arrays? [[User:SteveBaker|SteveBaker]] ([[User talk:SteveBaker|talk]]) 16:00, 6 July 2020 (UTC)

I believe that the character here is [[Kidball]], feel free to correct me. [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Qwertyuiopfromdefly]] ([[User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|talk]]) 04:19, 16 February 2026 (UTC)
:Sorry, but I just did. There's no reason to believe this student is a child. Height-wise, he'd be taller than his teacher (which is not to say that ''I'' didn't have female teachers who became smaller than me, even during early adolescence), assuming no different level of 'zoom' applied to the respective panels, and though I first seriously encountered complex numbers maybe in the mid-teens (from school... my Dad probably introduced me to them earlier, because we were like that, but not in a practical or even academically thorough way), the more philosophical and in-depth aspects of the lesson seem to suggest more university-age lessons that would feature 'young adults' (and outright 'mature students') who may be comparatively young but aren't children.
:Ironically, because of the traditional "disproportionately big head on a child" look being subverted in xkcd (adults have proportionately larger head-to-body ratios), this desk-sitter's proportions look like adult Cueball more than Kidball, even without other possible scale-cues being available.
:Might be fodder for a "Student(s) And Teacher"-type super-category, though, if there was sufficient need for one. There are a number of these comics, whether or not consensus would agree with yet another new Cat. [[Special:Contributions/82.132.239.46|82.132.239.46]] 11:30, 16 February 2026 (UTC)
:: Okay sorry. [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Qwertyuiopfromdefly]] ([[User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|talk]]) 03:34, 17 February 2026 (UTC)

Talk:2028: Complex Numbers

2026-02-16T04:20:21Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: fixed typos in previous comment

Talk:2028: Complex Numbers

2026-02-16T04:19:28Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: commented

I assume this is strictly a coincidence, but in reference to the title-text, I'll just mention that Caucher Birkar [the mathematician whose Fields Medal was stolen minutes after he received it in Rio de Janeiro on Weds (1Aug2018)] received the award for work in algebraic geometry. [[User:Arcanechili|Arcanechili]] ([[User talk:Arcanechili|talk]]) 16:34, 3 August 2018 (UTC)
* Perhaps it's causal not coincidental. Medal theives and perhaps Randall might read the news also. [[https://scholar.google.com/scholar?cluster=8941732171299849045&hl=en&as_sdt=0,39&sciodt=0,39]] [[Special:Contributions/162.158.79.209|162.158.79.209]] 00:34, 4 August 2018 (UTC)

I've added a basic description of Abelian groups in the title text, and that's about as much as I know about such topics. I'm not sure what a "meta-Abelian group" is, is that an Abelian group of other groups? Also, could someone add basic descriptions of algebreic geometry and geometrical algebra? [[Special:Contributions/172.68.94.40|172.68.94.40]] 18:42, 3 August 2018 (UTC)

In the title text, since groups are a concept within mathematics, it seems odd to consider mathematics as a whole forming any sort of group within itself, which I suspect is the first part of the pun. Secondly, since groups involve the commutative property, I think the last part is a pun about the order of the words algebra and geometry, as if they're commutative themselves! [[User:Ianrbibtitlht|Ianrbibtitlht]] ([[User talk:Ianrbibtitlht|talk]]) 19:19, 3 August 2018 (UTC)
: I meant to say 'abelian' groups involve the commutative property, and the meta prefix is referring to the fact that it's about the names rather than the mathematical details - i.e. commutative in metadata only. [[User:Ianrbibtitlht|Ianrbibtitlht]] ([[User talk:Ianrbibtitlht|talk]]) 19:24, 3 August 2018 (UTC)

: I guess the joke is that informally mathematicians form a ''group'' (a number of people classed together), what would strictly be a ''set'' in mathematics. While in mathematics, a group is an algebraic structure consisting of a set of elements equipped with an operation that combines any two elements to form a third element and that satisfies specific conditions. --[[User:JakubNarebski|JakubNarebski]] ([[User talk:JakubNarebski|talk]]) 21:18, 3 August 2018 (UTC)

It's a false dilemma. Complex numbers ''are'' vectors (<math>\mathbb{C}</math> is a two-dimensional <math>\mathbb{R}</math>-vector space, and more generally every field is a vector space over any subfield), but that doesn't change anything about the fact that <math>i</math> is by definition a square root of -1. [[User:Zmatt|Zmatt]] ([[User talk:Zmatt|talk]]) 20:38, 3 August 2018 (UTC)

Important concepts in math usually show up naturally in many apparently unrelated areas. Each area will name and define a concept that makes sense for the problems being considered. One of the joys of math is proving that multiple, apparently unrelated, definitions are equivalent. When definitions are equivalent you cannot pick "the one true definition" -- any of them will do. However the principle of maximum laziness leads to the one with the easiest notion being used as a canonical definition.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.75.130|162.158.75.130]] 18:17, 7 August 2018 (UTC)

Fun factoid: not only is <math>\mathbb{C}</math> the unique proper field extension of finite degree over <math>\mathbb{R}</math> (since <math>\mathbb{C}</math> is algebraically closed), but the converse is true as well: <math>\mathbb{R}</math> is the only proper subfield of finite index in <math>\mathbb{C}</math>. They're like a weird married couple. [[User:Zmatt|Zmatt]] ([[User talk:Zmatt|talk]]) 20:53, 3 August 2018 (UTC)

Altho there are no "meta-abelian" groups there are metabelian groups. If xy=yx then the commutator [x,y]=xyx^{-1}y^{-1}=1. The group generated by the commutators -- the commutator subgroup -- is thus a measure of how far a group is from being abelian. A metabelian group is a nonabelian group whose commutator subgroup is abelian. Thus a metabelian group is one made of a stack of two abelian groups. It is "meta-abelian" in that sense. A standard example is the group of invertible upper-trianglular matrices. The commutators all have 1s on the diagonals.

:One should note that the concept of complex numbers actually is older than vector spaces. So while it is true that complex numbers are a cool variant of vectors, historically that's not true, because vectors were more or less unknown when complex numbers were used for the first time. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.90.6|162.158.90.6]] 09:59, 4 August 2018 (UTC)

Shouldn't the description of a group involve ''two'' operations? There is a binary operation that gloms two things together to make a new thing, but there's also a unary operation that takes only one thing and makes a new thing -- the inverse. Without the unary operation, you only have a {{w|semigroup}}.[[Special:Contributions/108.162.215.160|108.162.215.160]] 09:40, 5 August 2018 (UTC)
: No. The inverse operation arises as a consequence of the fact that it's a group. A group satisfies four conditions: 1. it is closed under the operation, 2. the operation is associative 3. there is an identity e such that a op e = e op a = a. 4. For every element a, there is a unique element b such that a op b = b op a = e. The inverse function falls out as a result of conditions 3 and 4 [[User:Jeremyp|Jeremyp]] ([[User talk:Jeremyp|talk]]) 10:26, 6 August 2018 (UTC)

Real numbers with regular multiplication is not a group, as zero does not have an inverse element. The example would work with addition --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.134.112|162.158.134.112]] 13:48, 9 August 2018 (UTC)Random guy who read the article

"Does any of this really have to do with vectors? Or do mathematicians just think they're too cool for regular floating point arrays? [[User:SteveBaker|SteveBaker]] ([[User talk:SteveBaker|talk]]) 16:00, 6 July 2020 (UTC)

I believe that the character here is [[Kidball]] feel free to correct me [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Qwertyuiopfromdefly]] ([[User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|talk]]) 04:19, 16 February 2026 (UTC)

2028: Complex Numbers

2026-02-16T04:15:27Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly:

{{comic
| number = 2028
| date = August 3, 2018
| title = Complex Numbers
| image = complex_numbers.png
| titletext = I'm trying to prove that mathematics forms a meta-abelian group, which would finally confirm my suspicions that algebraic geometry and geometric algebra are the same thing.
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|complex number}}s can be thought of as pairs <math>(a,\ b)\in\mathbb{R}\times\mathbb{R}</math> of real numbers with rules for addition and multiplication.

: <math>(a,\ b) + (c,\ d) = (a+c,\ b+d)</math>

: <math>(a,\ b) \cdot (c,\ d) = (ac - bd,\ ad + bc)</math>

As such, they can be modeled as two-dimensional {{w|Euclidean vector|vectors}}, with standard vector addition and an interesting rule for multiplication. The justification for this rule is to consider a complex number as an expression of the form <math>a+bi</math>, where <math>i^2 = -1</math>, i.e. ''i'' is the square root of negative 1. Applying the common rules of algebra and the definition of ''i'' yields rules for addition and multiplication above.

Regular two-dimensional vectors are pairs of values, with the same rule for addition, and no rule for multiplication.

The usual way to introduce complex numbers is by starting with ''i'' and deducing the rules for addition and multiplication, but Cueball is correct to say that some uses of complex numbers could be modeled with vectors alone, without consideration of the square root of a negative number.

The teacher, [[Miss Lenhart]], counters that to ignore the natural construction of the complex numbers would hide the relevance of the {{w|fundamental theorem of algebra}} (Every polynomial of degree ''n'' has exactly ''n'' roots, when counted according to multiplicity) and much of {{w|complex analysis}} (calculus with complex numbers; the study of analytic and meromorphic functions), but she also agrees that mathematicians are too cool for "regular vectors." Just because the complex numbers can be interpreted through vector space, however, that doesn't mean that they ''are'' just vectors, any more than being able to construct the natural numbers from set logic mean that natural numbers are ''really'' just sets.

In mathematics, a {{w|group (mathematics)|group}} is the pairing of a binary operation (say, multiplication) with the set of numbers that operation can be used on (say, the real numbers), such that you can describe the properties of the operation by its corresponding group. An {{w|Abelian group}} is one where the operation is commutative, that is, where the terms of the operation can be exchanged: <math> a \cdot b = b \cdot a</math>. The title text argues that the "link" between algebra and geometry in "algebraic geometry" and "geometric algebra" is the operation in an Abelian group, such that both of those fields are equivalent. Algebraic geometry and geometric algebra are mostly unrelated areas of study in mathematics. {{w|Algebraic geometry}} studies the properties of sets of zeros of polynomials. It runs relatively deep. Its tools were used for example in Andrew Wiles' celebrated proof of Fermat's Last Theorem. For its part, a {{w|geometric algebra| geometric algebra}} (a {{w|Clifford algebra| Clifford algebra}} with some specific properties) is a construct allowing one to do algebraic manipulation of geometric objects (e.g., vectors, planes, spheres, etc.) in an arbitrary space that has a resultant geometric interpretation (e.g., rotation, displacement, etc.). The algebra of quaternions, which is often used to handle rotations in 3D computer graphics, is an example of geometric algebra, as is the algebra of complex numbers. {{w|Metabelian group|Meta-Abelian groups}} (often contracted to metabelian groups) is a class of groups that are not quite abelian, but close to being so.

Randall's joke in the title text is a wordplay combining the concepts of (meta-)abelian groups and change in the order of word orders with the general idea of "meta".

As for the connection between the comic and the title text, one possible explanation is the fact that geometric algebra can be used to represent the complex numbers. In particular, the imaginary unit i can be represented as a unit bivector satisfying i^2 = -1, such that representing a complex number as a + bi for real numbers a and b still follows the same rules for addition and multiplication (the latter under an operation from geometric algebra called the geometric product). In this sense, a complex number can be considered not as a vector, but as the sum of a scalar and a bivector. See [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60z_hpEAtD8 this video] for more information.

This comic is similar to the earlier Miss Lenhart comic [[1724: Proofs]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball (the student) is raising his hand and writing with his other hand. He is sitting down at a desk, which has a piece of paper on it.]
:Cueball: Does any of this really have to do with the square root of -1? Or do mathematicians just think they're too cool for regular vectors?

:[Miss Lenhart (the teacher) is standing in front of a whiteboard.]
:Miss Lenhart: Complex numbers aren't just vectors. They're a profound extension of real numbers, laying the foundation for the fundamental theorem of algebra and the entire field of complex analysis.

:[Miss Lenhart is standing slightly to the right in a blank frame.]
:Miss Lenhart: '''''And''''' we're too cool for regular vectors.
:Cueball (off-screen): I '''''knew''''' it!

==Trivia==
The word "algebraic" in the title text was initially spelt "algebreic". This was later fixed.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Kidball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring children]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Miss Lenhart]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Analysis]]

Category:Bad Map Projections

2026-02-14T16:26:23Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: fixed number

This comic series is about [[Randall Munroe|Randall]]'s bad {{w|map projections}}. Maps, real or, in this case, invented, are a [[:Category:Maps|recurrent topic]] on xkcd. Randall especially focuses on map projections, which are various ways to show the Earth on a flat surface, most famously depicted in [[977: Map Projections]]. Projecting Earth on a flat map is not possible to do without distortion since the Earth is round, so every projection is a compromise. Normally, the projections try to be useful in some way while less precise on other situations. In this series, however, Randall solely makes fun of the idea of many different projections, even calling them all Bad Map Projections.

<noinclude></noinclude>The map projections he has released all get a number, which, if taken seriously, would mean there are at least 348 that haven't been released, as the highest number so far is 358. The first two, [[1784: Bad Map Projection: Liquid Resize|The Liquid Resize]] and [[1799: Bad Map Projection: Time Zones|Time Zones]] were released using a similar six color scheme, with each country in a different color than its closest neighbors, but all the following ones were just plain black, gray, and white.<noinclude>

So far, they have the following numbers (release order shown at the end):
:<nowiki>#45</nowiki>: [[2951: Bad Map Projection: Exterior Kansas|Exterior Kansas]] (No. 7)
:<nowiki>#79</nowiki>: [[1799: Bad Map Projection: Time Zones|Time Zones]] (No. 2)
:<nowiki>#102</nowiki>: [[2999: Bad Map Projection: The United Stralia|The United Stralia]] (No. 8)
:<nowiki>#107</nowiki>: [[1784: Bad Map Projection: Liquid Resize|The Liquid Resize]] (No. 1)
:<nowiki>#152</nowiki>: [[2807: Bad Map Projection: ABS(Longitude)|ABS(Longitude)]] (No. 6)
:<nowiki>#194</nowiki>: [[3122: Bad Map Projection: Interrupted Spheres|Interrupted Spheres]] (No. 9)
:<nowiki>#216</nowiki>: [[3207: Bad Map Projection: Zero Declination|Zero Declination]] (No. 10)
:<nowiki>#248</nowiki>: [[2613: Bad Map Projection: Madagascator|Madagascator]] (No. 5)
:<nowiki>#299</nowiki>: [[2489: Bad Map Projection: The Greenland Special|The Greenland Special]] (No. 4)
:<nowiki>#358</nowiki>: [[2256: Bad Map Projection: South America|South America]] (No. 3)

[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Comic series]]

3207: Bad Map Projection: Zero Declination

2026-02-14T03:10:38Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: added category

3206: Installation

2026-02-12T06:17:06Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: edited title text explanation

{{comic
| number = 3206
| date = February 11, 2026
| title = Installation
| image = installation_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Do YOU remember the skylight being this big?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a house like carpet. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
This comic refers to wall-to-wall carpeting, also known as {{w|Fitted carpet}}, which usually is carpeting that runs from wall to wall. Usually, the carpeting is on the ''inside''{{citation needed}} of the house where it is installed. However, in this example, Megan and Cueball are installing it on the ''outside'' of the house, walking an unstated distance until another wall of another building is encountered.

The title text references {{w|skylight}}'s, which are windows on ceilings. This implies that they think that they can see sky not because they are outside, but because they think it is a big skylight.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

3206: Installation

2026-02-12T04:14:31Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: added new category properly

{{comic
| number = 3206
| date = February 11, 2026
| title = Installation
| image = installation_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Do YOU remember the skylight being this big?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a house like carpet. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
This comic refers to wall-to-wall carpeting, also known as {{w|Fitted carpet}}, which usually is carpeting that runs from wall to wall. Usually, the carpeting is on the ''inside''{{citation needed}} of the house where it is installed. However, in this example, Megan and Cueball are installing it on the ''outside'' of the house, walking the entirety of the earth's circumference until the finally finish installing it on the other side of their house. This method would be impractical{{citation needed}}, since it would both cross over oceans and use 40,008 to 40,075 kilometers of carpet, depending on where the house is and where it is facing.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

3206: Installation

2026-02-12T04:12:49Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: attempt at fixing catergory again; was misspelling category as catergory

{{comic
| number = 3206
| date = February 11, 2026
| title = Installation
| image = installation_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Do YOU remember the skylight being this big?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a house like carpet. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
This comic refers to wall-to-wall carpeting, also known as {{w|Fitted carpet}}, which usually is carpeting that runs from wall to wall. Usually, the carpeting is on the ''inside''{{citation needed}} of the house where it is installed. However, in this example, Megan and Cueball are installing it on the ''outside'' of the house, walking the entirety of the earth's circumference until the finally finish installing it on the other side of their house. This method would be impractical{{citation needed}}, since it would both cross over oceans and use 40,008 to 40,075 kilometers of carpet, depending on where the house is and where it is facing.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

3206: Installation

2026-02-12T04:07:14Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: attempt to fix prior attempt at adding catergory

{{comic
| number = 3206
| date = February 11, 2026
| title = Installation
| image = installation_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Do YOU remember the skylight being this big?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a house like carpet. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
This comic refers to wall-to-wall carpeting, also known as {{w|Fitted carpet}}, which usually is carpeting that runs from wall to wall. Usually, the carpeting is on the ''inside''{{citation needed}} of the house where it is installed. However, in this example, Megan and Cueball are installing it on the ''outside'' of the house, walking the entirety of the earth's circumference until the finally finish installing it on the other side of their house. This method would be impractical{{citation needed}}, since it would both cross over oceans and use 40,008 to 40,075 kilometers of carpet, depending on where the house is and where it is facing.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Catergory:Comics featuring Cueball]]

3206: Installation

2026-02-12T04:06:17Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: added catergory

{{comic
| number = 3206
| date = February 11, 2026
| title = Installation
| image = installation_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x272px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Do YOU remember the skylight being this big?
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a house like carpet. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
This comic refers to wall-to-wall carpeting, also known as {{w|Fitted carpet}}, which usually is carpeting that runs from wall to wall. Usually, the carpeting is on the ''inside''{{citation needed}} of the house where it is installed. However, in this example, Megan and Cueball are installing it on the ''outside'' of the house, walking the entirety of the earth's circumference until the finally finish installing it on the other side of their house. This method would be impractical{{citation needed}}, since it would both cross over oceans and use 40,008 to 40,075 kilometers of carpet, depending on where the house is and where it is facing.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[catergory:Comics featuring Cueball]]

3203: Binary Star

2026-02-05T04:51:12Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: added catergory

{{comic
| number = 3203
| date = February 4, 2026
| title = Binary Star
| image = binary_star_2x.png
| imagesize = 353x365px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The discovery of a fully typographical star system comes with a big asterisk.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]

Talk:3203: Binary Star

2026-02-05T04:47:09Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: commemt

here before the explanation [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Qwertyuiopfromdefly]] ([[User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|talk]]) 04:47, 5 February 2026 (UTC)

explain xkcd:Community portal/Coordination

2026-02-04T04:55:12Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: /* 226 has an undetermined character */ new section

<noinclude>{{Community links}}

{|-
|valign="top" width="100%"|[[File:Crystal Clear teamwork.png|left|120px]] <big><big>Coordination</big></big>

Community-managed page for coordinating content editing and maintenance tasks intended to aid communication, understanding, and coordination between the [[explain xkcd]] wiki community members. {{AddNewSection|Page=Explain XKCD:Community portal/Coordination|Text=(+post)}}
|}
</noinclude>
== Issue dates ==
Hi Jeff,

As i'm creating pages I struggle with the issue dates of comics. I've added a comment to all pages that contain the (unknown/incorrect) dates. Is there a way to research those dates? --[[User:Rikthoff|Rikthoff]] ([[User talk:Rikthoff|talk]])
: [http://xkcd.com/archive/] if you mouse over the comic name, it will have the date. --[[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 18:26, 3 August 2012 (EDT)

- if you mouse over comic name in "Archive" section of xkcd.com. Older comics(1-44 or so) might be found in [http://liveweb.archive.org/http://xkcd-drawings.livejournal.com/?skip=40 livejournal archive][[User:Bpothier|B. P.]] ([[User talk:Bpothier|talk]]) 18:35, 3 August 2012 (EDT)

Should we consider using "2012-08-03" style dates and letting localization "do the right thing"? Most pages so far use "August 3, 2012" style dates, with a few incorrectly doing "August 3rd, 2012"... Presumably the template could do the localizing/localising...--[[User:Bpothier|B. P.]] ([[User talk:Bpothier|talk]]) 18:39, 3 August 2012 (EDT)

: The date is also available with the [http://xkcd.com/json.html JSON API], which I'm going to use for the [[User_talk:Jeff#Automatic_Import|import]]. I use <nowiki>{{#dateformat: year-month-day}}</nowiki>, MediaWiki should figure out the correct way to display it based on your preferences. --[[User:SlashMe|SlashMe]] ([[User talk:SlashMe|talk]]) 18:47, 3 August 2012 (EDT)
Moved from [[User talk:Jeff]]. --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 00:15, 4 August 2012 (EDT)

== Date? ==

How do I find the date a comic was first posted (to put in the comic header here?) [[User:TheHYPO|TheHYPO]] ([[User talk:TheHYPO|talk]]) 12:26, 3 August 2012 (EDT)

Moved from [[Talk:Main Page]]. --''[[User:Philosopher|Philosopher]]'' [[User talk:Philosopher|Let us reason together.]] 00:43, 4 August 2012 (EDT)

Original posting date is listed on xkcd's [[http://xkcd.com/archive/ archive page]] as hover-text for each post. The first 44 comics are all listed as 2006-01-01. Many of these were previously posted on the [[http://liveweb.archive.org/http://xkcd-drawings.livejournal.com/?skip=40 livejournal site]], and some dates can be found/inferred by checking there.--[[User:Bpothier|B. P.]] ([[User talk:Bpothier|talk]]) 17:49, 7 August 2012 (UTC)

== To do list ==

I suggest a todo list to be added here so newcomers will have an idea of concrete things they can do to help. I'll start by moving some items I've been collecting on my user page. Feel free to add more :)

'''Things to do'''
* Complete all entries from the [[List of all comics]]
* [[Special:WantedPages]] lists pages that have links to them but haven't been created yet.
* More topics that could be covered here besides the comics themselves:
** our [https://twitter.com/explainxkcd twitter account]
** the xkcd irc channel (and [http://wiki.xkcd.com its wiki])
** the xkcd blag
** the xkcd forum
** other sites explaining xkcd ([http://xkcdexplained.com/], [http://xkcd.wikia.com], [http://xkcdexplained.wikia.com], [http://xkcdexplainedexplained.tumblr.com/archive], maybe invite members+content of the other wikis in once we're established?)

'''Maintenance'''
* Redirects should be created from the "File:number.png" format to the "File:title.png" format.
* categorization (make sure these lists are empty):
** [[Special:UncategorizedCategories]]
** [[Special:UncategorizedFiles]]
** [[Special:UncategorizedPages]]
** [[Special:WantedCategories]]
* building the web of links:
** [[Special:DeadendPages]] (pages with no links to other pages)
** [[Special:LonelyPages]] (pages that aren't linked to by any others)
* other
** [[Special:DoubleRedirects]]
**: (Took a chunk out of these the good ol' fashioned way, but there's got to be a wiff of Perl or Python to automate this... ? -- [[User:IronyChef|IronyChef]] ([[User talk:IronyChef|talk]]) 14:44, 9 August 2012 (UTC))
**:: Well, there's [https://sourceforge.net/apps/mediawiki/mwclient/ mwclient], a Python interface to the mediawiki API which I've used to move the comics to the new names. We could certainly create scripts to perform maintenance tasks and share the snippets here on the wiki. Automated tools will be useful while we establish standards early on. If you'd like help getting started, let me know. --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 19:40, 9 August 2012 (UTC)
** convert [[Special:LinkSearch/en.wikipedia.org|wikipedia links]] to the <nowiki>{{w|Lorem ipsum}}</nowiki> format
** use lowercase xkcd everywhere on the wiki (see [http://xkcd.com/about/ How do I write "xkcd"?])

There are more maintenance reports at [[Special:SpecialPages]], for inspiration :) --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 06:45, 6 August 2012 (EDT)

:: I'd love one of these "To Do" lists for admins as well! :) I'm always forgetting what I need to do! --[[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 02:35, 12 August 2012 (UTC)
::: There actually isn't much to do that needs admin permissions around here. Right I can think of only a handful of admin-specific tasks:
:::* Keeping an eye on [[explain xkcd:Community portal/Admin requests]] for stuff other editors might need
:::* Keeping an eye on [[:Category:Pages to delete]] (currently populated by {{tl|spam}}), delete the pages, block the spammers
:::* Updating the main page and watching
:::* Implementing any changes, agreed by the community, that require editing Mediawiki pages
:::Maybe others will have other items to add to the list, but for the most part, the things that need to be done are available to all editors: adding the missing comic explanations, describing characters, categorizing, etc. --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 19:13, 12 August 2012 (UTC)

Checking the above lists, here are the current stats:
* 0 [[Special:UncategorizedCategories]] (OK)
* 2,000+ [[Special:UncategorizedFiles]], most of them being part of the [[Time]] comic
* 2 [[Special:UncategorizedPages]], both related to the same [[Time]] comic
* a few [[Special:WantedCategories]], all from Babel templates on userpages i believe.
Just a FWIW or TWIMC. :) -- [[Special:Contributions/173.245.51.210|173.245.51.210]] 16:11, 8 November 2013 (UTC)
:The time-related pages can be fixed trivially. The wanted categories are kinda impossible to clear up, as userpages are typically off-limits to everyone except the owner of the userpage, unless they're a spambot. We've made pretty good progress on everything else though. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 16:43, 8 November 2013 (UTC)
::The wanted categs can be cleared up by ''creating'' them, and adding them to the categ hierarchy. I'm just not familiar enough with said hierarchy. -- [[Special:Contributions/173.245.51.210|173.245.51.210]] 17:09, 8 November 2013 (UTC)

== Date categories ==
I'm not sure the "[[:Category:Comics by month|Comics by month]]", by weekday, etc. Will be much useful, unless for those interested in running some stats. It might be more interesting to have specific months, such as [[:Category:Comics from May 2011]] and so on. What do you think? --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 06:45, 6 August 2012 (EDT)
: That was actually next for me: #time:year-month, but I wanted to study the globalization implications. I prefer over-categorizing rather than under-categorizing, since it's comparatively cheap. The assumption is that categories are the same as tags on the old site, and that mediawiki affords us some extra ways to automatically categorize pages in addition to the manual forms starting to emerge (by character, by subject, etc.) To paraphrase an old prof: you can't study what you don't measure; I've been wanting to see if, for example, Monday comics deal certain subjects, while Friday comics deal with another, etc. Not everybody's cup of tea, but of value perhaps to some, and insanely cheap to support both mentally and for the software. -- [[User:IronyChef|IronyChef]] ([[User talk:IronyChef|talk]]) 13:51, 7 August 2012 (UTC)

I also used it to find some date typos for Saturday/Sunday/Tuesday/Thursday comics, which should usually be empty - except for some early entries from livejournal... --[[User:Bpothier|B. P.]] ([[User talk:Bpothier|talk]]) 21:50, 17 August 2012 (UTC)

It does make it look a bit messy down by the categories... maybe we can skip one or two of these date categories, if people don't still find them useful? [[User:St.nerol|St.nerol]] ([[User talk:St.nerol|talk]]) 21:22, 23 November 2012 (UTC)

== Page names ==

I think we should use the comic number '''and''' the title as the page name. Like so: "112: Baring My Heart". This would allow comics to be sorted by order in categories, but the pages would still have human-readable names for those of us who don't memorize all xkcd comic numbers ;) Thoughts? --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 07:23, 6 August 2012 (EDT)

:I agree, for another reason: for instance [[YouTube]] could be either the title of a page explaining how YouTube is referenced in xkcd, or the title of the explanation for comic #202 (titled "YouTube"). I don't know if I'm being clear here, but as we do not control the titles of the comics, that could create confusion with other pages. So using something like [[202: YouTube]] would ensure disambiguation without being really complicated or awkward... And actually prefixing the comic title with its number seems quite relevant to me.
:Additionally, that would solve potential problems such as [[Exoplanets]]: comic [[786]] or [[1071]]?
:[[User:Cos|Cos]] ([[User talk:Cos|talk]]) 14:33, 6 August 2012 (UTC)
::Beat me to the punch; agreed. Numbers are unique and sequential, but not altogether that meaningful. Names are meaningful but (as we've seen) not unique. Some combination of both would be called for. We'd need to have the plain numbers redirect to the new topic (some double-redirects would need to be fixed up?) and the names would too (with at least one disambiguation page for now, and who knows: maybe more to come?) -- [[User:IronyChef|IronyChef]] ([[User talk:IronyChef|talk]]) 13:55, 7 August 2012 (UTC)
::Following up on the YouTube discussion above, I'm wondering if we should leverage namespaces more: main:topic is implicitly ''xkcd:topic'' (ie ''main:YouTube'' discusses the xkcd comic, while ''ref:YouTube'' is the place where the pop-culture reference of YouTube is discussed.) Either that, or some other name decoration, such as ''YouTube Explained'', or ... -- [[User:IronyChef|IronyChef]] ([[User talk:IronyChef|talk]]) 13:59, 7 August 2012 (UTC)
::: Agreed. Number and the name together. --[[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 16:08, 7 August 2012 (UTC)
:::: Looks like we have consensus. I'll move the pages (I've been meaning to learn how to use [https://sourceforge.net/projects/mwclient mwclient] anyway :D) --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 18:01, 7 August 2012 (UTC)
:::: {{done}}, all current pages have been moved. However, I am not sure whether we should keep a space after the colon. What do you guys think? Should it be "112: Baring My Heart" or "112:Baring My Heart"? --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 18:20, 7 August 2012 (UTC)
::::: Also, I just realized MediaWiki doesn't allow colons in image Filenames. One solution could be using something like [[:File:786. Exoplanets.png]] or [[:File:786-Exoplanets.png]], but then perhaps we'd have to change the pages name too, for consistency? I'll try to investigate what is the reasoning behind this restriction. --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 18:50, 7 August 2012 (UTC)
:::::: Ok, it seems like it's a matter of setting <code><nowiki>$wgIllegalFileChars = '';</nowiki></code> in LocalSettings.php (because it is set as <code>$wgIllegalFileChars = ':';</code> in DefaultSettings.php). <s>Jeff, could you do that please?</s> --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 19:13, 7 August 2012 (UTC)
:::::::: Nevermind, we will probably use a different naming pattern instead. --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 20:05, 9 August 2012 (UTC)

::::::: I guess this is my bad for not ciming in on this discussion earlier, but I frankly think that the #: Name is a worse way of doing it just for the reasons of system resources. #:Name is fine from a user standpoint with the '''caveat''' that # and Name both redirect to #:Name. The problem is that this requires 2 redirects minimum for every comic, and the redirect itself takes a bit more time for each article to load, and (as I understand from wikipedia and its dislike of double redirects), every redirect adds to the system load. So if every article lookup by users (who will undoubtedly type either the number or the name, but rarely both) is a redirect, the system load is going to go up.

::::::: As an aside, assuming Jeff is able to install the Cite Extension to add citation referencing (and even if he doesn't), I was expecting to try to create some sort of template in the concept of {{tl|cite comic}} where you could basically pass a single variable (e.g. the comic number) and it would create a proper citation for that comic. Similarly, this naming format will perhaps require a template something like {{tl|comicno}} with a comic number field just to create a quick link that is visibly appealing and links properly to the comic with that number. (ie: {comicno|18} would produce a link like "[[18: Snapple|Snapple]]" or something). I'm wondering though if anyone has any coding ideas for how we might accomplish this other than the hardcode all the titles into a template. [[User:TheHYPO|TheHYPO]] ([[User talk:TheHYPO|talk]]) 19:26, 7 August 2012 (UTC)

::::::: PS: I did some mild digging on another wiki, ''Star Trek'''s Memory Alpha wiki, and although all of its episode articles are now titled "episode title (episode)" to avoid disambiguation, which allows you to an episode template by calling the title (which template appends "(episode)" to every entry), they DO have a title-display template: [http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Template:Titles Template:Titles] - with a template subpage for every single episode setting out how the mouseover text should be displayed. It would be possible to do such a template for xkcd just so that comic numbers can be crossreferenced to titles... [[User:TheHYPO|TheHYPO]] ([[User talk:TheHYPO|talk]]) 20:30, 7 August 2012 (UTC)
:::::::: (Hoping this is the right number of colons for proper indentation... ;-) Redirects are one thing, and while probably resulting in possibly two page serves (isn't it really just two hits to the db?) they're natively supported by mediawiki. Even so, if performance is proven to be a real (not just conjectured) problem, can we do something clever, perhaps, with transclusion? Either the number transcludes the title, or vice versa? Might be a case of pre-optimization, though; in the back of my mind, it seems that the rendering engine puts as much effort into transcluding to expand templates as it would to expand a redirect in situ: either case is just a query to the DB to expand the contents of said item. (Enough rambling; anybody have any concrete metrics on this?) -- [[User:IronyChef|IronyChef]] ([[User talk:IronyChef|talk]]) 06:23, 9 August 2012 (UTC)
:::::::::Hi folks. Just thought I'd state that redirects are completely safe. They don't add any noticeable loading time for the users and the extra resources used by the server are so minor that it's akin to the resources used to type a character in notepad. Pages are also aggressively cached (by default, anyway). If you're interested, the way redirects work in Mediawiki isn't like most other sites handle redirects. It's not loading a page that makes you load another page. Rather, all content is stored in an SQL database. The content is stored under a certain name (eg, "#: Hello World!"). A redirect simply tells Mediawiki to look for the content under a different name. Slightly more work for the server (don't worry, they can handle it), but the page is delivered to the user in roughly the same period of time (if we want to be technical, the page will be slightly larger, due to the "Redirected from whatever" line added to the page (which is mostly there for the purpose of making it easier to fix incorrect redirects). I don't have metrics, but can assure you that it's almost no difference in the end result. {{User:Omega/sig}} 09:11, 9 August 2012 (UTC)

I've been thinking about this some more, and I believe we should choose a different pattern for the page names.
* First, use another separator between comic number and name, since colon is forbidden in files. A simple alternative would be "Comic title (number)", as in [[Michael Phelps (1092)]]. This would additionally allow us to use the {{w|Help:Pipe trick|pipe trick}} when linking to a comic, since content in parenthesis is automatically stripped out: <nowiki>[[Michael Phelps (1092)|]]</nowiki> results in [[Michael Phelps (1092)|Michael Phelps]]. Another effect of this is that by dropping the colon naming scheme we would remove ambiguity with the namespace system, which also uses colons to separate namespaces from pagenames.
* Second, we should probably follow IronyChef's suggestion above and move them to a specific namespace, such as [[Comic:Michael Phelps (1092)]]. Other namespaces could be added for more topics, such as [[Character:Cueball]], [[xkcd:Randall]] (or [[Meta:Randall]]), [[Topic:Velociraptors]], etc. Not only we would be able to generate lists of pages without resorting to categories (which have to be added manually), but we would get lot's of "Random X" for free (random comic, random character, random topic, etc.)
What do you guys think? --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 14:29, 9 August 2012 (UTC)
:P.s. - Proper category sorting of the comics would be dealt with by the {{tl|comic}} template, which would also pad the numbers with zeroes to ensure 100 comes after 2, etc.

::+1 on the parens... (but does that mean my recent double-redirect-fixups have been for naught? {{xkcd|541|(grin)}}) ... I couldn't put my finger on it and didn't articulate it earlier, but the fact that colon needed special attention by the software left me a bit uneasy (there must be a reason for them doing that, like namespaces perhaps) so using parentheses-es-es (as {{xkcd|297|long}} as we {{xkcd|859|close}} them <nowiki>{{explain|312|properly}}</nowiki>) seems more the mediawiki way. -- [[User:IronyChef|IronyChef]] ([[User talk:IronyChef|talk]]) 15:03, 9 August 2012 (UTC) (I know you folks don't like my propensity to (over?)categorize, but <nowiki>[[Category:Parentheses]]</nowiki> is just too irresistible... ;-)

:I think, that all of this seem unnecessary complication to me. I don't see any problem with the current system. I think something like [[1092: Michael Phelps]] flows well, is quite readable and easy to insert "as is" in the text (see the links to other comics in [[1048: Emotion]] for instance). As I understand, we would want the image files to be titled exactly the same way as their corresponding article; why, where is the need for that? (to me the simplest way, and most relevant maybe, would be to name them exactly as they are on xkcd.com; maybe with a prefix, like "xkcd - ", so that it cannot mess with other existing images such as from Commons).
:I don't see the point of creating namespaces such as "Character", "Topic", etc.; what is the problem with [[Beret Guy]], [[Randall Munroe]], [[Velociraptors]], and such? with namespaces one will have to put each topic in one box (and one only), where will you put things like [[Stick figure]] or [[My Hobby]] or any other thing that will pop up without clearly belonging to one of these boxes? ''[[1077: Home Organization|just give up]]!'' :-)
:About the "Random X", I like the idea that on xkcd.com, you can get a random ''comic'' (because that's all what is there), but in here you can get a random whatever: you may get a comic explanation, a character, a topic or anything, because in here there is all that.
:I don't think the colon in the comic page names will pose any problem, it cannot mess with anything as long as it is preceded by a number only.
:''In the end,'' I think that adding the number in the comic page names was a good choice, because there would have been real issues otherwise, but for now I would say : "don't fix what is not broken", KISS, and "just give up". :-)
:[[User:Cos|Cos]] ([[User talk:Cos|talk]]) 16:14, 9 August 2012 (UTC)

:: I have to agree with this. The existing page names are fine in my book, and I don't see any benefits of renaming them all (again). Concerning the random, though, I mentioned an extension in proposals that would allow us to choose a "random page in a category". I don't really care one way or another about character topics. Seem like a lot of maintenance when we don't even have a quarter of the comics explained yet, but whatever. Concerning the image names, I think that simply using the same name as it appears on xkcd is fine. Images are a bit of a "backend", that people don't usually search for (rather, they'd search for the comic and find the image on that page). As well, since all images are hosted on xkcd, they won't be any file name conflicts amongst the comics. {{User:Omega/sig}} 18:04, 9 August 2012 (UTC)

::: Good points (and puns!), all of you. I'd like to address a few specific points (I'll highlight the key takeaways for your convenience):
:::* '''I still prefer parenthesis''' for the simple reason that colons mess with the concept of namespaces (not that it has any effect on the software, which can cope quite well; I'm speaking from a user point of view). Besides, one of the reasons I proposed for having the number first was automatic category sorting, but that backfired (cf. #2 vs. #100).
:::* Re rationale for having image files titled like the comics is that it would allow automatic image inclusion via the {{tl|comic}} template. However, having the prefix is not crucial for that (hadn't thought of this before), so I'll go ahead and remove my suggestion above to allow colons in filenames.
:::* Note that there's no problem with "conflicts" with Commons images: an image uploaded here simply takes precedence regarding an image uploaded to commons under the same name (e.g. [[:File:Irony.jpg]] vs. [[commons:File:Irony.jpg]]). That said, while external conflicts aren't a problem, internal ones are (e.g. [[Exoplanets]]). That, coupled with the "it's just a backend" point made by Omega, is a good argument to '''use the original filenames''' (also, less overhead when uploading a new comic)
:::* I understand the argument against a single primary way to classify a page using namespaces. The category system is more flexible as it allows many-to-many relationships. However, I must point out that the examples you give are no problem at all: [[Meta:Stick figure]] and [[Topic:My Hobby]] ;) So '''I'm still not convinced that using custom namespaces is a bad idea''' or a lost cause or that it won't scale up well. Besides, it makes it very clear what a reader will find on that page (explainxkcd.com/wiki/Topic:Velociraptors is a pretty self-explanatory url). And again, it allows us to use the random feature that is natively implemented on mediawiki, rather than an extension. And "random whatever" is still available, of course :)
:::* IronyChef, by all means, please create [[:Category:Parentheses]] :D
::: --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 20:05, 9 August 2012 (UTC)

:::If we're going to use the numbers in the titles, it seems logical to have the number come first so that comics are essentially sortable by number rather than alphabetically by title; although this probably can be taken care of by changing the sort title, thoug this could be tedious.

:::I don't support new namespaces for comics and characters and whatnot. I don't see what it adds to the wiki, and it just makes the links to each comic page ''even longer'' (no one will EVER correctly search for '''Comic:Snapple (18)''' on their first attempt).

:::I am not claiming to be an expert on redirects. My comment was based on wikipedia pages like {{w|Wikipedia:Double redirects}} where it clearly suggests in the lead that double redirects "waste server resources". I assume this applies (at to a lesser degree) to single redirects. They may not be needless waste like double redirects, but they they do use resources. Granted wikipedia has far larger servers and much more traffic, so it may be more relevant to them than here, but it still would appear to be a resource issue; Database queries are still resource hogs, even if they are simple ones. Not suggesting they aren't safe, but if every comic load is basically a redirect, that is still two queries every time instead of just the occasional one. I'm fine with it; I'm just pointing out the issue. [[User:TheHYPO|TheHYPO]] ([[User talk:TheHYPO|talk]]) 16:20, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

::::The reason that double redirects are bad is that linking a redirect to another redirect (a double redirect) causes the first redirect to simply display the content of the second redirect (rather than actually redirecting the page). This appears as simply an arrow and a link (a soft redirect). It uses more system resources because an actual page has to be loaded and displayed, forcing the user to manually click the link and display the proper page (whereas a single redirect would load the correct page and display it). So in other words, a double redirect forces two pages to be loaded, while a single redirect only loads one page, more or less the same as if you went to the actual page title. {{User:Omega/sig}} 21:35, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

::::: Also, regarding the sorting argument for using numbers first: I was the one who originally proposed that, but I overlooked the fact that sorting won't work unless we use padding (e.g. "0001: Comic title"), which is kind of a hack. MediaWiki supports category sort keys natively, so we should be taking advantage of them rather than relying on a specific page title format to achieve the same effect.
::::: As for the namespaces, I think I've presented my arguments for that above; let me know if any of them are unclear. I accept that one may disagree with them, but not that there ''aren't'' any benefits. Note that '''nobody''' will correctly seach for whatever page title we use, unless we use only the numbers as the final title, which I think we all agree is not desirable. --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 11:25, 11 August 2012 (UTC)

::::::Thanks for the double-redirect explanation, Omega. To Waldir; I think people would also correctly search for Comic Titles, at times. Some more than others, for sure. But if you are on XKCD reading a comic that has a title printed, and you want to come here and read the explanation, You would most likely search for either the number or the title that is displayed at xkcd.com. That said, if it's not a resource hog, and we can find a GOOD way to create links to comics easily (ie: I can type in {explain|123} and actually get a proper looking link to that comic's page, I'm cool with that. I really think it will add a lot of time to the edit process to have to manually type in 123: Title for every link to another comic. [[User:TheHYPO|TheHYPO]] ([[User talk:TheHYPO|talk]]) 14:32, 13 August 2012 (UTC)

== Comic Display - another new template ==

I see that the latest comics have changed over to {{tl|comicbox}} from {{tl|comic}}. This might be in response to today's tall narrow comic. I don't see any recent discussions about the {{tl|comicbox}} template. We really need to come to some form of consensus on the comic display issue. I am really not a fan of the {{tl|comicbox}} template, as I arrive at the homepage today and I don't understand what I'm seeing. There is no indication that the text on the right is the Explanation. I wasn't sure if part of it was title text or not. I figured it out, but it's not the easiest thing to see. I also don't think the navbuttons jutting right up against the top of the comic display box looks good.

Eithe way, where I'm going with this is that I think we need to come to a consensus on the form and template used for comic pages. If we choose comicbox, or comic or some other template, it's all good; but we should be editing ONE template to get it working and looking the way we want; rather than bouncing between many templates and creating new ones. [[User:TheHYPO|TheHYPO]] ([[User talk:TheHYPO|talk]]) 16:26, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
:Yeah, I was really confused at first, and scrambled through the discussions trying to find what happened. To be honest, I'm more of a fan of the {{tl|comic}} template, with the explanation under a header explaining so. Not to mention with {{tl|comicbox}}, I'm suddenly unsure of what to do with the transcripts. For comparison, [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=1093:_Forget&oldid=6199 here] is the {{tl|comic}} template, while [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=1093:_Forget&oldid=6209 here] is the {{tl|comicbox}} template. At any rate, no matter what template we're using (I personally prefer {{tl|comic}}, but don't really care that much provided all comics use the same template), I agree that we need some kind of consensus to determine how we're formatting the page. {{User:Omega/sig}} 21:31, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
::Ditto on the confusion (augmented by the confusion of finding where the pertinent discussion has gotten off to; they seem to slip from page to page between visits... ) Anyway, I'm guessing this is a ''de-gustibus'' matter, but regardless of the respective virtues of either template, to my eye the template today's comic was changed to has <nowiki>{{explain|1070|a couple}}</nowiki> cosmetic shortcomings:
::* The typeface is larger than normal. Just a personal preference, but it should be scaled 100% vs adjacent normal wiki text; readers can change the level of zoom if that's too small. Also,
::* the image is vertically centered, so in the case of a disproportionately long explanation (like today's) it appears too far down the page; it really needs to be top-aligned, with the title text close underneath it. Further,
::* for this vertical layout, there's a lot of wasted vertical space when the explanation is so much longer than the image. Rather than having two rigid columns, have we considered '''float:left''' or '''float:right''' style attributes on the image, so that whatever text is left flows to fill the entire space below the image?
:: Finally, to tie this all up with a bow, (and perhaps raising an issue that may have been raised before; I don't recall, because of the shifting locations of discussions hereabouts) ... Is there a need for images to always be shown at 100% size, especially for the more extremely sized ones? Seems to me that the images here really only need to fulfill a refresher role, and clicks through the image should take the reader to the full-sized image on xkcd.com. Legally, I know we have the right to host the images here. But morally, it seems like we shouldn't be taking too much traffic away from xkcd.com as it is RM's bread and butter. Our value-add is the in the form of explanations: long as we can visually tie these explanations with the comic (by having something bigger than a thumbnail, but somewhat smaller than full size, especially for odd-shaped ones) I think we're on the positive side. Thotz? -- [[User:IronyChef|IronyChef]] ([[User talk:IronyChef|talk]]) 05:23, 11 August 2012 (UTC)
:::I agree with you on all points, although I'm really not a fan of having the text either beside or under the comic. I'd rather it be the same in all cases. In which case, having the text beside the comic won't do, as wide comics wouldn't be very supportive of that. Also, if the explanation is considerably longer than the comic, it just looks a bit strange to me. Float left/right would fix that, but would be a bit harder to implement with the title text (eg, if the title text and image are inside a float left div, does that div have a fixed width or does a long title text push it over?). All in all, I'd rather the text always be below the comic. It's consistent and less problematic. Regarding the size of comics, I'd rather we use the full size in all cases except the "large" comics (defined as the comics that are shown at a reduced size on xkcd itself, such as [[1079: United Shapes]]). Why? Because when I'm reading an explanation to a comic I don't understand, I'm constantly referencing the explanation with the comic itself. Having to open a new tab each time would make that a bit less convenient. {{User:Omega/sig}} 06:38, 11 August 2012 (UTC)
::::For visual experimentation, I've made the theoretically uncontroversial changes of text size (it's now expressed as relative percentage rather than absolute px) and I made the image top-aligned, so comics like <nowiki>{{explain|1093}}</nowiki> show the image near the top of the explanation, despite the explanation being many multiples of that image's height; we can change that back if we don't like them. There are other changes I'd like to make (see above) but I'll wait for general agreement on that (not to mention which template to use.) -- [[User:IronyChef|IronyChef]] ([[User talk:IronyChef|talk]]) 15:39, 12 August 2012 (UTC)

:::::To respond to all of the previous comments; I echo IronyChef's thought - I built into {{tl|comic}} an imagesize attribute because I believe that the comic should be a managable size on this site; generally not more than say 400px; this creates a "click to enlarge" link which takes the user to the imgae's page. Although I previously thought that a balance needs to be kept because people may start coming to the wiki to read xkcd in the first instance instead of xkcd.com, I also agree with Omega's point that it's potentially unfair to Randall to entice traffic away from xkcd.com. This strengthens my belief that larger comics should be kept to a reasonable size.

:::::Not sure if I said it in this thread, I think we have to look at the purpose of the box itself. In my eyes, the box is designed (like an infobox) to basically show the user the basic facts. Not user-added material or encyclopedia text. The box, in my view, is there to present all of the info about the comic that actually comes from xkcd. The image, the alt text, the title, date and number. Adding the explanation in the box basically makes the explanation look official as part of the comic. The primary content of this site is the explanations. If anything should go under proper wiki-format headers, it's that (in my opinion). The transcript is technically official content, but as I've said elsewhere, in my view, the transcript is secondary info that the comic already contains; it doesn't need to be in the infobox. IronyChef has indentified and fixed a lot of my minor cosmetic issues with the comicbox template, and there are others I don't like either (the title font is a little too weak and the top of the box is touching the bottom of the nav buttons. Don't like those, but again, easily fixable).

::::: I also think while there may be instances like the "Forget" comic which is a list-form comic where having a long vertical list explanation works, a long vertical list is often harder to read and follow than a full-page-width explanation. (even "Forget" has each line of explanation end up being several lines long in {{tl|comicbox}} format.) Worse, the potential to want to fit in the box may limit users from adding to explanations which we shouldn't encourage. If the explanation is twice as long as the comic, there's nothing wrong with that, and it shouldn't look bad by going inside the template. I appreciate the attempt that the verticle comicbox makes to not waste space (using the two-column method) but I don't think this is the way to do it. I think shrinking the comic (and accepting that there will be space on either side) is the best way. As I say, 375px or 400px seem like logical limiters for most comics. This is explainxkcd, so you shouldn't have to scroll way down to get to the explanation. I too sometimes like to view the comic and explain at the same time to check notes as Omega suggests, but I can do that by control+click or shift+clicking the image to enlarge, and comparing in separate windows by tiling them or just switching back and forth - with a larger comic, you'd have to scroll up and down to read both the comic and the explanation anyway. I find I lose my place in the text when I do that. alt+Tabbing for me generally is easier to keep my place in both windows.

:::::The one thing from {{tl|comicbox}} that I do like is that the box is shaded slightly bluegray. I like the separation that creates; on the other hand, xkcd.com has comics posted on white; does it hurt the integrity of any comics to have them posted on blue-grey instead of white? I'd consider changing the background of {{tl|comic}} to a blue-gray (though perhaps lighter than the one on comicbox) if people like that. That's my thoughts[[User:TheHYPO|TheHYPO]] ([[User talk:TheHYPO|talk]]) 15:10, 13 August 2012 (UTC)

{{outdent|:::::}}
{{tl|ComicBox}} just got a major redesign. It looks more like {{tl|comic}}, but with the addition of a vertical comic mode. Also, bear in mind that {{tl|comic}} doesn't use white for the background. For comics like "Forget", take a look at [[Forget comicbox]]. Looks ok?  [[User:Grep|grep]][[User_talk:Grep|talk]] 15:27, 20 August 2012 (UTC)

:As noted on [[explain xkcd:Community portal/Proposals#Comic Templates]], there is no need to start a new thread there there there is already a thread on the topic here (which you've posted to). Also, if your post was "which template should we use when?" it's not really a "proposal" for the proposals page, and better fits here under coordination.

:That said, I thought this topic was fairly well resolved. Jeff endorsed {{tl|Comic}} in the [[#Header_template]] discussion on this page, and this subsequent discussion seemed to resolve as well with no real consensus that a change from {{tl|comic}} was necessary or beneficial. I don't see the benefit of continuing to build new templates that basially duplicate existing templates with one extra function (vertical mode). That could have been built into the existing template, if it were deemed necessary.

:I personally think there are still pluses and minuses to doing things vertically; It looks a little cluttered to have the comic up on one size and the explanation on the other. If you don't have a high-resolution desktop or you want a non-maximized window, there may not be much space for the explanation which may end up with two or three words per line and be hard to read and annoying. "Forget" was a comic featuring a long list; this made for a very long listed explanation. Most long comics will not have explanations longer than the comic, and we'll have a lot of whitespace to the right of the comic. It just looks cluttered to me. I like having the navbar centered above the comic, not the page (and also in the enclosed comic box). That's personal preference though. I think the better design for vertical comics (is just to reduce their size and put them in the standard box. They otherwise take up too much space. [[User:TheHYPO|TheHYPO]] ([[User talk:TheHYPO|talk]]) 16:48, 20 August 2012 (UTC)

*I am not a fan of the discontinuity that comicbox creates as the explanation runs longer than the image. I also feel that we should focus on improving the existing {{tl|comic}} instead of further developing new templates. - [[User:Shine|Shine]] ([[User talk:Shine|talk]]) 21:38, 20 August 2012 (UTC)

== Template for New Comics ==

To clarify, I'm not talking about a template like {{tl|comic}} or {{tl|comicbox}}, but rather a form to cut/paste for new comics. I'm rather new to large editing of MediaWiki pages, so I'm interested in learning of better ways of doing things.

Recently, I've been copy/pasting [[User:Blaisepascal/newcomictemplate]] to set up the basic form of the page, then editing the various sections. This ensures I get the major bits. I still have to copy/paste the transcript from xkcd.com, fill in the {{tl|comic}} template, and make the number and title redirects by hand.

Is there a better way? Is there anything my template is missing? [[User:Blaisepascal|Blaisepascal]] ([[User talk:Blaisepascal|talk]]) 14:06, 21 August 2012 (UTC)

:I've created a ruby script that can be given a comic number and it will spit out a text file with the comic template filled out, the transcript, and the comic discussion template. I've finally gotten it to the point that it is usable, so that's why I'm talking about it. It still doesn't pull explanations from the blog, but that's a whole ball of wax in and of itself. I'm on Linux so it's easy to run it and have it spit out files, I assume on Windows if you have ruby installed there is a way to run ruby scripts from the command prompt. Can't tell you where things will pop out, probably in the directory you run it in, but I haven't tested it on Windows yet. I'm also continuing to work on it, so don't assume that any version you download is the final product. Oh, it also spits out the redirect line you put in the number and title pages so you can just copy/paste that.
:I made it because I was going to drive myself insane making hundreds of pages without some kind of automation. [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]] ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 07:24, 25 August 2012 (UTC)

::{{tl|create}} was created as a template for the comic list so that it could be autoloaded into comics by linking from [[List of all comics]]. That functionality doesn't seem to be working, unfortunately. For that reason, I added a "transcript" of the create text as documentation on that template. If you goto {{tl|create}}, you will find a template for new comic creation. [[User:TheHYPO|TheHYPO]] ([[User talk:TheHYPO|talk]]) 20:20, 27 August 2012 (UTC)

== The name of the ponytail character ==

I remember the community having a name for the female ponytail character (I don't recall if there is a male ponytail character, but in the interest of being complete). Was it simply Ponytail?

In any case, she seems to recur enough to deserve her own Category:Comics featuring ... page. But I don't want to go create it without knowing what we can agree on is her name. So, pony (wow, didn't intend that pun) up your 2 cents. [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]] ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 17:28, 20 August 2012 (UTC)

:This comic http://xkcd.com/322/ calls a ponytail'ed female Joanna. Is this the same character as ponytail? She might be different. Community input please. [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]] ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 01:26, 23 August 2012 (UTC)
::It sounds plausible. Few of the characters are named, and it looks like Ponytail (compare, for example, Elaine Roberts as an adult, who has light hair, but doesn't wear it in a ponytail). The one concern is that in 322, she is clearly acquainted with Black Hat, and in 405 she appears to be friends with Danish, yet Black Hat and Danish don't know each other -- unless he tracked her down via Joanna... [[User:Blaisepascal|Blaisepascal]] ([[User talk:Blaisepascal|talk]]) 04:41, 23 August 2012 (UTC)

== The name of Black Hat's girlfriend ==

[[Black Hat]] has a girlfriend, introduced in [[377: Journal 2]]. She has thicker hair than Megan, and is seen (in [[405: Journal 3]] to be friends with [[Ponytail]]. Is there community-accepted name for her?
:: No, not yet. She seems to have a personality similar to [[Black Hat]] himself --[[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 15:48, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
:::I don't really want to create a "Category:Comics featuring Black Hat's girlfriend" if there is a better solution, that's all. [[User:Blaisepascal|Blaisepascal]] ([[User talk:Blaisepascal|talk]]) 15:57, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
::::In my own head I've been calling her Summer because she looks like how Randall draws Summer Glau (not a good argument, granted), and in some of the comics she shows up she reminds me of Summer's characters. [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]] ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 17:41, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
:::::Or we could call her Dearest or Darling or Danish http://xkcd.com/515/ [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]] ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 20:32, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
::::::OK, I've gone with [[Danish]]. [[User:Blaisepascal|Blaisepascal]] ([[User talk:Blaisepascal|talk]]) 22:18, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
:::::::P.S. I love you for that. You have my eternal respect. [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]] ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 22:35, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

Also, now someone needs to update the Characters nav box to include Danish. [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]] ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 22:51, 22 August 2012 (UTC)
:I found the template on my own (aren't I a [[1032|grown up professional]]?) and updated it. [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]] ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 22:53, 22 August 2012 (UTC)

== Can we turn off page creation for non-logged in users ==

I'm not very familiar with mediawiki, so I don't know if this would be hard or not. But, it would stop the drive-by spam attacks (the ones that don't create accounts anyway, such nice bots).

My secondary goal in doing this would be to get [[Special:Contributions/‎72.252.145.183|‎72.252.145.183]] and [[Special:Contributions/‎207.204.86.3|‎207.204.86.3]] to make accounts so that there is a way to get a hold of them, give them some feedback, and have them stop adding/spamming spurious categories. Both of them are creating pages with poor/non-existent explanations, sections for the transcript but missing the transcript, haphazardly adding pre-existing categories and adding tons of one-off categories which do nothing to enhance explain xkcd.

[[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]] ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 19:02, 13 September 2012 (UTC)
:Tag any such comics with {{[[Template:Comic-stub|Comic-stub]]}} and you or someone else can fix it ^^--[[User:Relic|Relic]] ([[User talk:Relic|talk]]) 00:01, 24 September 2012 (UTC)

::I guess you succeeded then ;) I have learned from my mistakes that I made as an anon ([[Special:Contributions/Btx40|take a look]])

::Why didn't you post on [[User talk:72.252.145.183]] or [[User talk:207.204.86.3]] (IPs have talk pages too)? I would have noticed it on either of them. It made me think that this community was more hostile than Wikipedia, which I also have [[wikipedia:User:Btx40|an account]] for --[[User:Btx40|Btx40]] ([[User talk:Btx40|talk]]) 21:14, 11 April 2013 (UTC)

== Tagline categories! ==

It finally struck me that there's that great line sitting top-right on the xkcd site. Yes the [[tagline]]. So, I've created pages for [[:Category:Language|Language]], [[:Category:Romance|Romance]], [[:Category:Math|Math]] already existed. But, I don't have time right now to go hunting down examples of [[:Category:Sarcasm|Sarcasm]]. Can I enlist the help of all the beautiful editors here to go tagging crazy? (Ok, not crazy like insane, but please do comb through everything for these) [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]] ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 19:47, 22 October 2012 (UTC)

== Image updates on xkcd ==

Once in a while, Randall changes the image of a particular comic (usually after someone here spotted an error!); for instance, that is the case for [http://xkcd.com/1122/ xkcd 1122 on Electoral Precedents]. It would be nice to still be able to see the original image(s) here as well as the updated version, as the discussion usually references the previous version(s) and therefore sometimes doesn't make sense without the original image in those cases. Also, consider this as a mild suggestion to update the mentioned image on its explanation page. Sorry if I've put this in the wrong place... --[[User:Jay|Jay]] ([[User talk:Jay|talk]]) 14:54, 29 October 2012 (UTC)

:For these most recent comics, someone usually uploads the version that goes public at midnight, and then corrections are uploaded on top of that. As part of the MediaWiki software, you can click on the image, which will take you to its file page, which allows you to see all the versions of the image back to its first creation. I, personally, am not sure if it's possible to link directly to a previous version, but it is there at least.

:Unfortunately, due to an image resizing bug, (that we all hope is being worked on, but it's been months with no progress and no word of work or progress, so hope is dwindling) for larger images you won't be able to see it, until you click on the broken file link which will just take you to the image.

:Hope that helps some. --[[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]] ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 16:35, 29 October 2012 (UTC)

== The Great Spam Attack Of Thanksgiving 2012 ==

I believe I have now dealt with all the spam that has accumulated on the wiki. I've gone through Recent Changes and personally checked every anonymous edit since 5 this morning, and looked through every new page created. If I've missed something, please edit the page and put {{tl|spam}} at the top. Thank you to all the new editors that stepped up and went to work in the trenches while the rest of us were off stuffing our faces. I think special thanks goes out to [[User:St.nerol|St.nerol]] and [[User:TheOriginalSoni|TheOriginalSoni]]. I believe what happened is, the first major attack was met with a tepid response of about a month's temp block for all the IPs. But this time, for the flagrant vandalizers they are now on an indefinite ban.

Please, as you continue to notice spam or vandalization, use the {{tl|spam}} template, or add [[:Category:Pages to delete]] to the page (in the event that it's a newly created page). Leave a comment in your edit summary about vandalization clean up and someone with the power to, will deal with it.

--[[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]]_a ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 06:38, 24 November 2012 (UTC)

:Marked a wee bit that you missed. Typical, I take a day-long trip into China and an unholy mess of spam happens. May I suggest captchas for all anonymous edits for now? I would also like to get all the explanations done, or at least the ones from the blog, so that we can get the /wiki/ out of the URL to throw some of the spammers. The wall-of-text spammers all seem to include links to spam on other poor abused wikis, and I've noticed that all of those wikis also have a /wiki/ somewhere in there URL. It probably won't stop the new anon spammer, but we could probably restrict page creation to registered users only once we're done filling in all the old XKCD pages to cull those twats out too. [[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]][[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>(talk)</tt>]] 09:27, 24 November 2012 (UTC)

:I have again dealt with the second wave of spam this Thanksgiving holiday (in the U.S. It's the only thing I can think that would be the cause.) and protected a few pages that seem to be repeat targets. If this is any indication of what major US holidays are like we need to get the administration (*ahem* Jeff) to delegate more controls to more users, and more A.I. spam fighting than we currently have (none). There has to be tricks that Wikipedia is using to fight spam. If we get this much, I can't imagine what the wikipedia servers have to daily stand up against, they must have spam fighting tricks, and not just hordes of people that can delete new pages that anonymous spam bots create. [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]]_a ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 07:13, 25 November 2012 (UTC)

::Wikipedia has cluebot, which looks at page blanking and text insertion by anonymous users and reverts suspicious behavior automagically. I could ask cluebot's creator if we could lift the code for use here. It'll be like XERXES.ai, except it'll look for spam instead of spelling errors. [[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]][[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>(talk)</tt>]] 07:16, 25 November 2012 (UTC)

::Aight, so Cluebot runs off a [https://github.com/cluenet/cluebotng core engine] with a dataset of previous vandalism to work from. We can set the files up on a raspberry pi or something, leave it running and connected to the web and feed it a backlog of past spam to teach it what to look for. Gonna do it after this hellish pile of work is over, unless someone wants to ninja me again. [[User:Davidy22|Davidy22]][[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>(talk)</tt>]] 07:50, 25 November 2012 (UTC)

:::Cluebot sounds like a wonderful thing to have around here. When I have free time I might try to develop a basic bot that catches the basic kinds of spam and vandals we see here. (Spammers create a user account, create a random page and link to a random page on the internet; Vandals almost always leave an 18 character mixed lower/upper alphanumeric comment and are anonymous, that's unique enough it should be easily catchable)

==Trivia and transcript placement==
The placement of the trivia sections are not consistent on the wiki; sometimes they are placed above the transcript and sometimes below.

The trivia sections are often fun to read, and a good complement to the explanation. On the other hand I have a hard time imagining people coming here to read transcripts (I remember someone suggested collapsable boxes for them). I'm afraid trivia sections below the transcript "disappears" and sometimes won't be noticed at all (especially if the transcript is long). Therefore I propose that trivia sections should follow the explanation, and that the transcripts should be at the bottom of the page.

Another reason for this is that the dividing line between explanation and trivia is not always clear. The end of the explanations tend to accumulate trivia-like information. The natural thing is to just "crop off" a trivia section, where deemed appropriate, and not to move stuff to and fro around the block of transcript. –St.nerol (talk) 15:15, 6 March 2013 (UTC)

:I agree that trivia sections, if present, should come before the transcript. By the way, I think this thread would be more appropriate for the Coordination section of the community portal. If you agree, please move it there. Waldir (talk) 16:32, 6 March 2013 (UTC)
::Moved from Proposals to Coordination! –[[User:St.nerol|St.nerol]] ([[User talk:St.nerol|talk]]) 23:02, 6 March 2013 (UTC)

:If an explanation contains trivia, that's an issue with the trivia being in the wrong place. Trivia is supposed to contain information that's only tangentially relevant to the comic at hand, and should be kept to the end of the page to keep the rest of the page free of clutter. Also, the comic discussion is at the bottom of every explanation page, but that doesn't seem to have deterred anyone from finding in. We could fix up some kind of collapse box for the transcripts though, since they do tend to be unneeded for most comics. '''[[User:Davidy22|Davidy²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 00:16, 7 March 2013 (UTC)
:Alright, I've done a mockup for what the transcript collapse box could look like. It's in our sandbox, like?'''[[User:Davidy22|Davidy²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 01:16, 7 March 2013 (UTC)

::It looks good!
::I'm not sure it is so easy to differentiate between tangentially relevant, more relevant, and explanatory information. I think there will always be a hazy zone of borderline examples. (By the way, should the explanation/trivia division be based on how ''relevant'' the information is, or on how ''explanatory'' it is?)
::Now that we're getting a collapsible box; where should we place it? I still don't think it is logical to have it between explanation and trivia (if present), but it will matter less. Maybe we should move it up to the top again? –[[User:St.nerol|St.nerol]] ([[User talk:St.nerol|talk]]) 10:24, 8 March 2013 (UTC)
:::Trivia in most wikis is reserved for all the junk that doesn't add value to the main purpose of the article. In our case, that would be information that doesn't serve to explain comics, which is what people who visit the site come here looking for. The transcript is useful for cases where an image is ambiguous or easily mistaken, although it's not entirely needed for every comic. If the trivia section ever contains anything that enhances the comic explanation more than the transcript does, it's in the wrong section.
:::The transcript template is probably going to have to get OK'ed by all the other editors round here before we make it a thing. It's quite a big change to make, and we'll have to change every existing page if we want to add it. We'd probably put it where we usually put the transcript if we do add it in though. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|purple|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 10:44, 8 March 2013 (UTC)
::::Yeah, I hope that the other guys turns up and says something too. Still, the trivia/transcript placement is not standardized, so we need to decide together what's more natural.
::::*Do we want the transcript in a box?
::::*Do we want it on the bottom of the page, or directly below the explanation, or on the top of the page?

::::It ''is'' a borderland between explaining a comic and giving background information, connections to other comics, etc. There's no borderland between those and transcript. Also, all trivia sections I've seen so far has enhanced the explanations more than the transcript. (Probably because I didn't feel need to read it). –[[User:St.nerol|St.nerol]] ([[User talk:St.nerol|talk]]) 16:10, 8 March 2013 (UTC)

::::If one actually needs/wants to read the transcript, one presumably wants to compare it directly with how the comic looks. That would be the good reason to place the box close to the comic. –[[User:St.nerol|St.nerol]] ([[User talk:St.nerol|talk]]) 16:12, 8 March 2013 (UTC)

::::<strike>Sorry I dropped off the face of the planet for a while there. The run up to Spring Break nearly killed me (that's not as figurative as you'd think). I'll write a proper response in the morning, or late afternoon, after I've had enough sleep to recover from ~2 weeks of ~3 hours of sleep a night. [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]]_a ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 08:58, 9 March 2013 (UTC)</strike>

::::I think that Trivia belongs at the bottom of the page. We didn't start with putting transcripts on the explanation page, so there isn't a law passed down from the founders to let us know how to slaughter our sheep as sacrifice (wait, that's something else). However, in keeping with Wikipedia's tradition, we put tangentially related information into its own category at the bottom of the page.

::::What defines tangentially related? Well, most of our editors seem to have a good grasp on it, so I didn't think it was necessary to spell out hard and fast rules. I think the group of people that read xkcd frequently are also prone to become draconian, pedantic, rules lawyers, so I hesitate to suggest that we need to impose too much more structure than what we can glean from Wikipedia's many years of existence. This is how I categorize it:
::::*The explanation, which is the main point of the site, should explain all cultural, technological, mathematical, scientific, visual, and linguistic gags that Randall includes.
::::*The transcript, which helps to ensure that people aren't mis-reading the comic. This is also valuable for accessibility, as blind people cannot read images (not yet, OCR isn't that good), which is why I think Randall should publish transcript data as he posts the comics. So, I support the creation of a transcript when the comic first posts, but about a week later someone should go back and replace it with the transcript that Randall publishes so that anything we interpret incorrectly will be corrected.
::::*Discussion. Since we transclude the discussion onto the explanation page anything that comes up as a result of the comic will often be commented on here. E.g. "Did you guys see Reddit blew up after Randall called them out in this comic? [link]"
::::*And lastly trivia. My template test for this one is "Is this really important trivia, but it doesn't add one hoot to the explanation? Then it should go here." What jumps to my mind every time I think of this is [[Click and Drag]]. That is a prime example of a trivia section. It doesn't explain the comic, but it is meta-information about the comic.

::::Why last? Because if the community cares about the points of trivia someone will bring it up. So that content already exists on the page. Duplicating that and putting it up higher makes no sense. What's even worse is having an Explanation, content directly about the comic; Trivia, an interlude with some information that's fun to know and you can stump people at xkcd meet-ups but otherwise useless; and Transcripts, which is directly about the comic again.

::::I would say that Trivia should actually go at the bottom of the page, but the transclusion of the discussion page makes that ugly to my eye. But it should go underneath the Transcript. Not all of the world are "fully functional" "Average" (capital 'A' Average) and "Normal" (capital 'N' Normal) humans, and consideration needs to be spent on them. And the transcript is more relevant information about the comic than any trivia is. If there is trivia that is more relevant than the transcript, it should be worked into the explanation. If a transcript gets long and you believe scrolling is a tedious, laborious task that only proto-humans had to deal with, then add a <code><nowiki>__TOC__</nowiki></code> (the TOC is ugly because of the comic discussion template, which is another discussion) underneath the comic template.

::::--[[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]]_a ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 12:02, 14 March 2013 (UTC)

:: I think the transcript could be integrated into [[template:comic]], instead of being a separate template, and use a softer and more neutral color (light gray, for example) in the heading. Apart from these details, I agree with the collapsing of the transcript, and being collapsed, its placement isn't really problematic. Right under the comic sounds ok to me. --[[User:Waldir|Waldir]] ([[User talk:Waldir|talk]]) 02:04, 10 March 2013 (UTC)

:::I think this would be a good option. If the transcript were in the comic template, such that it was comic image, title text, transcript, this would be a good option for screen readers, so that the explanation would be read after the transcript. I am quite in favor of this. [[User:Lcarsos|lcarsos]]_a ([[User talk:Lcarsos|talk]]) 12:02, 14 March 2013 (UTC)
::::I made a couple of halfhearted attempts at doing that box integration, but it's not as easy as copypasting it into the right place. Will get it done when I'm less busy. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|purple|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 13:29, 14 March 2013 (UTC)

== Trivia section for the early comics? ==

I noticed that the early xkcd comics that were [[:Category:Posted on LiveJournal|posted on livejournal]] sometimes have no real explanation (since there is really nothing much to explain), but feature a separate trivia section that mentions the original order, an alternative title text and/or a quote by Randall. Number [[7]] is a good example for it. I was wondering if it were not more practical to integrate the trivia section into the explanation text. Of course, it is strictly speaking not an explanation of the comic's ''contents'', but other explanations give meta information about the comic as well. As somebody in the section above has already mentioned: It is a thin line. I think, a separate trivia section only makes sense when there is 1) a full explanation of the comic that would otherwise be cluttered and 2) the trivia section contains technical meta information that does not add to the understanding of the comic (see [[1110]] for example). I think it more to the point to remove the trivia sections for the early comics altogether, but I thought I ask before anybody has to revert everything ;) -- [[User:LotharW|LotharW]] ([[User talk:LotharW|talk]]) 12:40, 18 October 2013 (UTC)
:That's still trivia that should probably stay in the trivia section, although the explanations for those comics do need work. Even if it's just to inform that reader that the earlier xkcd comics were more doodle-y than modern xkcd. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 22:53, 18 October 2013 (UTC)

== To all Admins: IP User pages ==

Since IP addresses are often dynamic the IP user pages should stay empty. If a user wants a user page he just can sign in here and there is no problem with links to former IP posts. Editing IP user pages produce just chaos.--[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 17:44, 19 October 2013 (UTC)
:You're assuming that because some IP addresses are dynamic, we should bar IPs from creating userpages. For one, that's not true and [[User:50.151.2.168]] has been editing from the same address for a good half year. We cannot force IPs to do anything; see {{w|WP:HUMAN}}. IPs necessarily forfeit admin candidacy and the ability to edit semi-protected pages because of security concerns, but that's the extent of their restrictions on this wiki. {{w|User:76.117.247.55}} is a rather good example of an established IP with his own userpage on mainline Wikipedia. Also, {{w|WP:PAPER}} can likely be applied here; the disk space that a single redirect page takes up is insignificant, and mediawiki is designed to still perform well with many pages in it's database. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 18:15, 19 October 2013 (UTC)
::I did know you would do an answer like this. But I still fully disagree on this, an IP user is still dynamic and if those users don't like to sign in here they should not have user privileges.--[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 16:58, 20 October 2013 (UTC)
:::The only answer I have to that is {{w|WP:HUMAN}}. Our IP users are just as valuable as our registered ones, and they are privy to all benefits that regular users receive except ones that could become problematic with shared IP addresses, like admin candidacy/privileges. That IP has edited from their address for longer than many registered users stay active. IPs are human too. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 19:22, 20 October 2013 (UTC)
:::: As someone who prefers not using an account here, I fully agree with David. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.62.222|173.245.62.222]] 08:17, 30 December 2013 (UTC)

== "Its Cause Your Dumb" ==

I'm interested in moving away from this tagline. Originally it made sense in our old blog logo in which it was Black Hat saying it, but now out of context it sounds way more condescending. I know people like it, but I don't think it is necessary to sit on the top of every page. --[[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 16:38, 30 October 2013 (UTC)
:Adding the thumbnail of Black Hat back in would be trivial. We can either add it back in, or cut/change it entirely. I'm fine either way, though I did enjoy the old tagline. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 19:54, 30 October 2013 (UTC)
::''Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.'' is still great. Black Hat is just telling the truth. But this and the "explainxkcd.com/X" should be moved to the bottom of the header.--[[User:Dgbrt|Dgbrt]] ([[User talk:Dgbrt|talk]]) 20:29, 30 October 2013 (UTC)
::: I'd like to see Black Hat saying it, but maybe at the bottom of the logo instead. [[User:Halfhat|Halfhat]] ([[User talk:Halfhat|talk]]) 20:40, 13 January 2014 (UTC)

Now the black hat image is rather blurry.

== Transcript Section ==

I've not been able to find any real sort of guideline which says what we do and do not include in the Transcript. From the explanation for [[Talk:1322:_Winter|Strip 1322: Winter]], how much "action" should we be notating in the Transcript. There comes a point when the Transcript becomes a Script and can be used to reenact the strip. If this was the original intention, then perhaps we should state that somewhere. I suggest any text, in English or otherwise should be included either verbatim or described, and other symbols which are not directly related to the actors, such as music notes, charts, graphs, and other objects which significantly affect the plot of the strip. Obviously some good judgement should be exercised and there may be exceptions which crop up. I'd like to hear other comments and views, thanks. [[User:Jarod997|Jarod997]] ([[User talk:Jarod997|talk]]) 14:00, 28 January 2014 (UTC)
:The transcript should be detailed enough that a blind user can tell what happened in the comic. It's there to tell people what happened in the comic image if they were otherwise unable to tell without the transcript. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 16:35, 28 January 2014 (UTC)
::Aha! Thanks for clearing that up. Is that posted anywhere? [[User:Jarod997|Jarod997]] ([[User talk:Jarod997|talk]]) 21:05, 28 January 2014 (UTC)
:::It‘s somewhere in the old discussion where the standard page layout was determined. If you dig through old community portal topics, you‘ll probably find it. Eventually. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 06:35, 29 January 2014 (UTC)

== We need a name for the "Total Douchebag" ==

I did say it [[http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/explain_xkcd:Community_portal/Proposals#New_Character_2 here]] but I think it was the wrong section and I got no responces any way he appears in and [[http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/435:_Purity 435]], [[http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/796:_Bad_Ex 796]], [[http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/826:_Guest_Week:_Zach_Weiner_(SMBC) 826 (guest week)]] and [[http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/964:_Dorm_Poster 964]] possibly more. I got a good pic of him too.[[User:Halfhat|Halfhat]] ([[User talk:Halfhat|talk]]) 19:35, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
:Something smug sounding like Beyond Hat would be good.[[User:Halfhat|Halfhat]] ([[User talk:Halfhat|talk]]) 19:41, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
::If he shows up in another comic, I'll start a vote to add him. The name "douchebag" has been contested and changed in the past by various anons for justified reasons and I'm sure there's less judgmental names that we could give him, like Goatee. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 22:44, 3 March 2014 (UTC)

== Undocumented Feature ==

Why is the daily incomplete explanation ''still'' [[1305: Undocumented Feature]]? At this point, the explanation is complete, and it's been the daily incomplete for several days, if not weeks. [[User:Z|Z]] ([[User talk:Z|talk]]) 18:52, 4 June 2014 (UTC)
:Oh, damn, I've been a bit busy recently. I'll get that started again. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 20:20, 4 June 2014 (UTC)

== Should we have a category for comics with secret messages? ==

Should we have a category for comics with secret messages? Like [[1005: SOPA]]. [[User:Ausr|Ausr]] ([[User talk:Ausr|talk]]) 16:32, 15 June 2014 (UTC)
:How many of them are there? Categories need to apply to a decent number of comics before we make them. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 22:36, 15 June 2014 (UTC)

== Incomplete explanation of the day - Template changed? ==

Has the template of the "incomplete explanation of the day" box changed?

I'm sure the title of the incomplete page used to be a link, but now it appears in bold, and not a link... {{unsigned|Pudder}}
:It'll look like that if you're on the page that it links to, or if mediawiki messes up. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 16:42, 29 September 2014 (UTC)

== Incomplete Explanation of the Day needs updating ==

For the last few days, the IED has been set to 887: Future Timeline, when the page has already been set to complete. Is there a specific person in charge of IED, or could I just go ahead and change it whenever I see that the page has been completed?
I'm not entirely sure if this is the correct section of the Community Portal for this question, but I would like to know. [[User:Kirdneh|Kirdneh]] ([[User talk:Kirdneh|talk]]) 18:05, 15 December 2014 (UTC)
:Uh, I do the changing there. I don't do this usually, but I actually think the tag should be readded; the original reason if I recall correctly for the tag being there was that the big ol' table of predictions listed in the comic wasn't complete, and the roots for each one aren't obvious to everyone reading; see the one on 32 bit timestamps, which means little to people unfamiliar with Unix timestamps. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 21:28, 15 December 2014 (UTC)

== Requesting a Third Opinon on 1317: Theft ==

There are two competing interpretations of [[1317: Theft]] (see the end of the discussion for details), leading to its being marked incomplete. Could some other editors take a look? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.216.191|108.162.216.191]] 14:15, 11 March 2015 (UTC)
: Two unresolved questions. First, is the character in the comic Randall or Hairy? Second, is the character show the victim of identity theft or the perpetrator? [[User:Djbrasier|Djbrasier]] ([[User talk:Djbrasier|talk]]) 18:51, 11 March 2015 (UTC)

== Most character pages are missing infoboxes ==

Please add them if possible. There are two types of character infoboxes currently, "character infobox" for when the category page is "Comics featuring '''''Name'''''"; while "character infobox 2" is for when the character page serves as its own category page. {{unsigned|17jiangz1}}

== Lander ==
Philae has woken up!!! Randal has updated [[1446: Landing]] as a result. I'm about to go out, but can someone please start recording any new comics! --[[User:Pudder|Pudder]] ([[User talk:Pudder|talk]]) 15:11, 14 June 2015 (UTC)
:I'm on it'''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 11:05, 15 June 2015 (UTC)

== Image issues ==

Can someone fix [[:File:radiation.png]]? {{User:17jiangz1/signature|15:54, 25 August 2015}}
:Wait a little bit, cache takes time to update. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 16:58, 25 August 2015 (UTC)
:Thanks, it's okay now. {{User:17jiangz1/signature|10:20, 26 August 2015}}

== New comic, not on the main site. ==

http://www.gatesnotes.com/Health/XKCD-Marks-the-Spot It's about Polio eradication [[User:Halfhat|Halfhat]] ([[User talk:Halfhat|talk]]) 13:45, 31 October 2015 (UTC)
:The page already exists, at [[World Polio Day]]. Not a fan of doing these supplemental comics personally, but the page is there for you to improve if you want to. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 17:19, 31 October 2015 (UTC)

== Manually added 1678 ==

Hello, I manually added comic 1678, since the bot didn't seem to. I think I did everything, but since I'm not familiar with the process someone might want to double-check. [[User:SG 01|SG 01]] ([[User talk:SG 01|talk]]) 15:21, 9 May 2016 (UTC)

== Title text in transcript ==

Not sure if this has been asked before, but why don't we include the title text in the transcript? -misterblue28

:Probably because the transcript is for people who can't see the image, but the title text isn't part of the image - it's in plain text underneath the image. [[User:Danish|Danish]] ([[User talk:Danish|talk]]) 23:07, 27 January 2021 (UTC)

== Category syntax ==

How do you put pages in a category? I tried inserting links manually and it said "this category has no pages or media." [[User:Some user|Some user]] ([[User talk:Some user|talk]]) 04:06, 29 July 2020 (UTC)

:Hi Some user, it's a little backwards, but to add a page to a category, you have to instead ''add the category to the page''. In other words, for the page that you want to be included in the category, edit that page and add a <code><nowiki>[[Category:Example Category]]</nowiki></code> link to the bottom of the page (where <code>Example Category</code> is the name of the desired category); after you save it, the page will magically appear in the category. See [https://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Help:Categories#Adding_a_page_to_a_category here] for more info. – [[User:Yfmcpxpj|Yfmcpxpj]] ([[User talk:Yfmcpxpj|talk]]) 02:42, 29 September 2020 (UTC)

== 2475: Health Drink ==
I believe that the "simple country nanoenzyme developer" comment refers to the [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SimpleCountryLawyer Simple Country Lawyer trope]. [[User:Elizium23|Elizium23]] ([[User talk:Elizium23|talk]]) 19:32, 15 June 2021 (UTC)

== Citation no longer needed? ==
It seems like the inclusion of the {{Citation needed}} tag is getting less popular. Should these be removed or should they be allowed? [[User:Cwallenpoole|Cwallenpoole]] ([[User talk:Cwallenpoole|talk]]) 14:56, 30 December 2021 (UTC)
:{{Citation needed}}... Less popular? I've just seen a retro-edit that added three (or four) CNs in a very old article. I don't think it has lost its popularity. It could be argued that it has lost its clarity (but only through overuse). I see no need to purge this feature, though of course anybody could hunt down and purge those instances they considered to be in excess (YMMV!) and anybody else could splurge them out again (with personal opinions again being the driving force).
:If you are indicating a personal opinion that CNs should ''not'' be being used, anywhere, say it straight. I think you'd be outvoted on the issue, but it would be more useful than just proclaiming it isn't used (clearly wrong).
:Overuse is bad, removing it isn't practical or desirable (you'd be reverted in an instant). Welcome to the complications of collaborative editing from a diverse group of fans. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.159.125|162.158.159.125]] 15:45, 30 December 2021 (UTC)
:: oh, I find it absolutely hilarious, but I have also seen people removing them. I just want to make sure it's still OK to add them. [[User:Cwallenpoole|Cwallenpoole]] ([[User talk:Cwallenpoole|talk]]) 16:56, 30 December 2021 (UTC)
:::Some people have less tolerance for them, definitely. If "The sky is blue**, water is wet**, fire is hot** and cats meow**" is marked up in each (or most) of the **-points then I would not be surprised or disappointed to see that de-CNed. If you ask me, the balance would be once used for every two or three articles (and in the ''best'' one of those two or three, nothing actually contentious or even not-always-true like the blue sky statement, but of course they could bunch up at times by looking wider around for each set of 'best's), but don't ask me to judge the best examples. And that's still an awful lot of total uses! Others would have differing thresholds/tolerances. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.86.22|172.70.86.22]] 20:03, 30 December 2021 (UTC)

== New admins ==

Been skimming around edit histories to see what I've missed and now I have candidates in mind for promotion to admin. I've linked a bureaucrat to this section who can promote any of the following who consent to promotion:

*[[User:Jacky720]]: Contribution log going back to 2016, heavy contributor in recent anti-vandalism effort
*[[User:Theusaf]]: Creator of the current comic update bot
*[[User:Kynde]]: Editor for a decade, although may want to stay regular user
'''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 02:06, 8 May 2022 (UTC)
:I consent. I'm not super active, but I visit explainxkcd multiple times a week and maintain the bot. —[[User:Theusaf|theusaf]] ([[User talk:Theusaf|talk]]) 07:29, 8 May 2022 (UTC)
:: done [[User:Theusaf|theusaf]] [[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 19:02, 8 May 2022 (UTC)
: I want to be clear that with the exception of the anti-vandalism script (which I did not write) I haven't been very active lately. Maybe I just find a lot of pages in an already-acceptable state. Still, I'm reading the wiki. So if the requirement is only ''presence'' and ''judgement'' rather than ''activity'', I'll take the post. Is it? [[User:Jacky720|That's right, Jacky720 just signed this]] ([[User talk:Jacky720|talk]] | [[Special:Contributions/Jacky720|contribs]]) 11:25, 10 May 2022 (UTC)
::I sought out a fair number of people so that the load would be more distributed. The duties that adminship adds are just things like banning users and protecting pages, regular users can already fix content related things and vandalism. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 13:41, 10 May 2022 (UTC)
::: Slow as hell, but i did it. [[User:Jacky720]] and [[User:Kynde]] [[User:Jeff|Jeff]] ([[User talk:Jeff|talk]]) 17:36, 22 May 2022 (UTC)
::::Thanks Jeff. [[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 13:56, 23 May 2022 (UTC)

I will accept being an admin. But I would like to know how to get hold of for instance Davidy or Jeff, so we can contact someone with more knowledge or power over this site, when it breaks down or is attacked again. Any way this can be arranged? And then I would also like to know what being an admin means here. Which powers do we get? I have not tried being an admin of anything before ;-) [[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 12:13, 10 May 2022 (UTC)
:I've always contacted jeff via twitter, which is linked via his userpage, though we've been in contact over email too. I don't use my twitter account for anything else otherwise, and I'm mostly dead on a lot of social media but I have the same username on github and I do use that site a fair bit if you want to contact me via alternate means. [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Special:ListGroupRights You can see the full set of rights each role has here], but the ones that'll come up the most are probably the rollback button, bans and page protection/deletion. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 13:41, 10 May 2022 (UTC)

== One-click undo script for reverting vandalism ==

I've made an extremely crude script to expedite vandalism removal at [[User:CRLF/OneClickUndo.js]]; basically, it changes all "undo" links to work without the confirmation screen. Simple as that and hopefully helpful for cleaning up this mess!

I'm hoping to also make something that can work on contribs pages, but my scripting skills aren't that great.

Also, if you are aware of any scripts that do this better (I hope there are), please share them here. [[User:CRLF|CRLF]] ([[User talk:CRLF|talk]]) 02:20, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
:Update: I have added the functionality to have this on contribution pages; it should create a link "[revert]" next to each page name that allows you to similarly revert in one click. There is one known glitch though, that it doesn't really work if a user has edited the same page multiple times, so to alleviate that I recommend ticking the "Only show edits that are latest revisions" box on the contribs list. I hope this tool will be helpful in combating future vandalism.
:I almost forgot to mention, the way you install this script is by adding the following text to the bottom of [[Special:MyPage/common.js]] (sorry, only for autoconfirmed users):
:<code><nowiki>mw.loader.load('//www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=User:CRLF/OneClickUndo.js&action=raw&ctype=text/javascript'); // [[User:CRLF/OneClickUndo.js]]</nowiki></code>
:Hope this helps! [[User:CRLF|CRLF]] ([[User talk:CRLF|talk]]) 03:04, 21 May 2022 (UTC)

== Semi-persistant gambling portal ads being attempted... ==

There have been a number of link-insertions made over the last few weeks (some returning to where they'e previously reverted out), seemingly of various groups of sites under the name "<two letters>+portmanteau('''C A S I''' n o & s i '''M I L E''')", here written slightly obtusely to diffuse giving them any of the SEO credit they seek, but anyone interested should be able to get enough of the gist to then find examples of their spamming. Usually the two letters are for '''AU'''stralia or '''N'''ew '''J'''ersey, but I think there have been others.

A quick search seems not to give any 'core' business name precursor to the state/country regionalisation part, they seem to have just gone straight to the localised domains. And searching for them indicates they're popping up in many an odd place 'out there'. Like a site reviewing walking(/zimmer?)-frames, or (strangely, as it's the AU-branded site) "looking for developers in the Chicago area", so they're poking away out there. But we're just as busily poking them back out again by reverting, both myself and (I've noted) other major contributors/maintainers.

But making an official(ish) note. If anybody gets an automated content de-publishing mechanism up (e.g. for the C R A P style of stuff) then maybe they can figure out this one enough to also counter its reappearance.

As a direct example, dive into what occured to cause [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=850:_World_According_to_Americans&curid=6034&diff=286767&oldid=286591 this pairing of edit/undo-edit]... (Easy enough to check, by clicking things, but I'm not giving an easily search-spiderable link that promotes their site like they might want!) [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.32|141.101.99.32]] 14:50, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
:Unlike the SEO spam that gets stopped normally, I suspect this is a human solving captchas to insert links, so automated measures would have to be cat and mouse blacklisting link insertions probably, if we got an auto reverter bot up. '''[[User:Davidy22|{{Color|#707|David}}y²²]]'''[[User talk:Davidy22|<tt>[talk]</tt>]] 02:48, 14 June 2022 (UTC)

== Transcript standards ==

I was just wondering, what is our policy on formatting in transcripts? Tables, text size, color, italics, etc. [[User:Char Latte49|Char Latte]] ([[User talk:Char Latte49|talk]]) 23:35, 7 September 2022 (UTC)
:The idea is no tables, IIRC, though I know of exceptions that do use them. Other in-situ formatting should be allowable but (if important) actually stated in the :[Description] tags, or somehow.
:One of the ideas is that a screen-reader should be able to reliably inform someone of what they might not be able to see. And, depending upon the reader can probably read "½" accurately, may be able to read "1/2" at least in an understandable manner, could perhaps handle "1/2" without (much) more confusing, yet may find something like "<table style="display: inline-table; line-height: 0.6em; vertical-align: middle; font-size:7pt; text-size-adjust: none;"><tr><td>1</td></tr><tr><td>2</td></tr></table>" (<code><nowiki><table style="display: inline-table; line-height: 0.6em; vertical-align: middle; font-size:7pt; text-size-adjust: none;"><tr><td>1</td></tr><tr><td>2</td></tr></table></nowiki></code>) makes for something of no real sense to the reader or the listener to the reader or both.
:Secondary is that maybe a search for "red text" should reveal all comics with red text (not easy to do on digging ingo HTML style formatting alone), though I'm sure that the relevent transcripts are so standardised.
:Not the expert on the issue, just how I've seen it posited elsewhere (but inconsistently, at that). [[Special:Contributions/172.70.85.225|172.70.85.225]] 00:47, 8 September 2022 (UTC)

== What is [[:Category:Meta]] for? ==

I've stumbled upon [[:Category:Meta]], and it seemed so random. Three of the 4 books were on it, but I removed them because there already is a category for Randall's books. There are also pages like Browser extension, Characters, the Countdown in header text... what do all those pages have in common? (The category description doesn't help.). [[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 10:49, 3 July 2023 (UTC)
:Update i emptied it and replaced it with Category:explain xkcd, so now we have Category:Root category that only contains Category:xkcd (actual content) and Category:explain xkcd (wiki stuff) --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 15:52, 3 November 2024 (UTC)
::I delete it now and has thus removede the links from this post. This is where it linked: [[:Category:xkcd]]. And FaviFake has actually made it go there not to [[:Category:explain xkcd]]. [[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 08:09, 4 February 2025 (UTC)
:::I think I initially directed it to [[:Category:explain xkcd]] but then noticed where it was linked, and moved the redirect. But I'm not sure. Anyways, Thanks! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 17:58, 4 February 2025 (UTC)

== What's going on with the incomplete comics? ==

I've noticed a the number dropping rapidly, and I'm worried people/someone is just removing incomplete tags randomly from pages. If not, it's great that these are getting done, but I remember some very large/complicated comics that couldn't just be finished quickly. The edit history is pretty spammy, it's hard to find the source. [[User:Mushrooms|Mushrooms]] ([[User talk:Mushrooms|talk]]) 08:49, 11 January 2024 (UTC)
:People ''have'' been removing the Incomplete tags from pages. Not so much "randomly" as actually removing them from some of the latest few. Even going so far as to remove such a tag from an article not yet a day old. (Really too soon, IMO. There are always going to be people who take ''at least'' a day to check in to discover the latest comic's item, and then produce some personal take on it that makes what was there "not yet complete" to reasonable eyes.)
:The whole Incompleteness thing has developed, anyway. Originally, it was even a matter of whether a page ''existed'' for a comic (catching up/backfilling with earlier-than-the-wiki comics) until at least placeholders/blank explanations for them all were created by users and Bots. Then "incomplete" was a tag used to identify the created comics that hadn't been properly filled in with intelligent (or sufficient) explanations.
:Even that era is now over, as it is rare that someone doesn't rock up with an explanation for a new comic within an hour or so of it being editable. The Incomplete tag has co-evolved as a community side-joke as to what (other than a Bot) created this particular page. Which some people seem not to have realised as they (in good faith, no doubt) de-Incomplete a number of recent pages at a time.
:Not that I think one should never remove the tags, but my opinion is:
:*If someone has just edited (more?) info into a page, they shouldn't have the hubris to consider it now complete thanks to their own 'final' work, let someone else have that say; assuming they don't have more to say (or a revert/back-edit/correction of their own), having their own ideas of how 'complete' it became,
:*If the comic is less than a week old, many people may have been familiar with (and happy with) the thorough explanation... but that occasional guy or gal who only checks in every Wednesday/weekend/whenever, when they have time to browse all their favourite webcomic metasites, ''could'' bring along an insight that everyone else missed - technically, they could do this (and do?) for even more ancient examples that they've yet to notice, but "giving the 'regulars' (<= those that are not also ''hyper''frequent) a week or so" a shot at working on an Incomplete page seems like courtesy,
:*As the developed joke is that an early editor adds the 'community comment' about which non-BOT entity/process created the page, give everyone familiar with this the chance to ''have seen'' each prime example, this includes the once-a-week individual(s), from the above point, even if they have nothing new to add,
:**...as a meta to this, generally one of the first editors to discover the BOTted page (or maybe the one that did the temporarily tardy BOT's work!) will make their mark on it by so editing (I personally consider it poor form to ''only'' "first!" a page by editing this tag and then doing nothing more to fill in even just the Transcript, BTW, but YMMV). Obviously, not all such spontaneous jokes are top-notch funny (to all people), but one need not go in later and 'rejoke it' just for one's own ego (at least as much as the "first!"er type). It loses its cultural impact if (as per one recent page) it becomes a competition to keep on changing the tag indefinitely. Respect the joke that you may find there (spelling/formatting errors aside?), enjoy it, feel smug that you "would have done it better" (more smug than actually doing it, only for your "better" to be in turn bested/wiped by someone else soon after). There are some very clever BOT-replacements that have been done (I've tried a few, myself, but can't/won't claim to be the genius editor of any of the good ones) and I have an offline list of many of these, but that's perhaps a little ''too'' meta for explainxkcd...
:*Finally, the editors who go through 'wiping' a series of Incompletes at a time (even as recent as with the present day's released comic) tend to show willing and eager wiki-editing capabilities, but are clearly 'new' to not realise the value (beyond the original intention) placed upon the tag. The kind of people who might not yet realise that the Citation Needed has an explainxkcd 'twist' to it (or, having realised the twist, think that they're the first person to consider how funny it would be to use that tag ''at least twice a paragraph, or even multiple times in a single sentence...''. I welcome fresh editors, but I know what some of them feel. I remember being annoying to the 'old guard' on a BBS during pre-Web era... even back then, the best advice really was to lurk, observe, contribute sparingly... even now, in fact, I still tend to be oververbose, but at least I don't overdo the same thing (addition or removal of things) to ridiculuous degrees like I did practically a third of a century ago.
:...not that I expect the above to match everyone's feelings (even a majority?), nor to claim authority (far from it, I like being an occasional commentator without the pressures of responsibility). And anyone who ''might'' benefit from this exposition is unlikely to read it (soon) anyway!
:But I can definitely provide my insight on the original question (yes, they're being removed, not ''really'' randomly). And, if there's anything particularly likely to draw my attention to there being '[[386: Duty Calls|something wrong]] on a somewhat historic xkcd explanation' then it's someone removing the Incomplete tag and getting me to read it "for old times' sake" (to find obvious typos, grammatical mixups, broken links or just plain awkward/missing elements). Occasionally, I'll even restore the Incomplete tag because, whatever subsequent fix I might or might not do myself, it's not my call to say that it's "perfect".
:Though obviously edits can (and do) still occur with-or-without. Which leads back to my valuing the tags as these days more cultural than a strict tally of completeness/lack-of-it. There's no reason why they shouldn't be removed, but generally not a batch at a time. Barring long and still not fully resolved 'megacomics'/interactives, perhaps around a fortnight or a month before (at the rough rate of three a week, to match the new comics gaining the tags) might be sufficient and not excessive. Leaving on the order of 5-10 'recent' Incompletes, plus any hangovers that are still potentially expandable (Gravity-like, or Umwelt).
:Can't stop the eager editors who have much more slimline ideas, and could displease those who think the meta-joke trumps the actual Incompleteness marking and should hang around indefinitely, but this is my own broadly happy middle-ground. Not that anyone asked. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.43.181|172.69.43.181]] 15:14, 11 January 2024 (UTC)

::I apologize if this goes off-topic, but I recently made an early BOT replacement "joke" that was unnecessarily crudely worded and I just want to say I wish I hadn't done that. If I'm in a rush to add the first draft of a transcript, basic category details or alike, and want to act quick to avoid potential edit conflicts, from now on I'll let the BOT field be untouched if I can't spontaneously think of anything worthwhile to type there. [[User:Asdf|Asdf]] ([[User talk:Asdf|talk]]) 13:18, 14 January 2024 (UTC)
:::Something that's funny at two o'clock in the morning (but not even necessarily then, nor need it require alcohol/sugar/etc) is often not quite so much after some thought. But sometimes it ''is'', so we can't blame you for having a go. ;) I suppose I'd say that if it hasn't already been squished by a more savvy future editor, you should just take the first opportunity to improve (or roll-back) your not so good ideas, once you're in a more objective/critical mindset.
:::On-topic, one also shouldn't "decide to de-Incomplete comics" without much thought. And if you're doing several at the same time you should at least have been monitoring them; not just choose one to remove it from, then click "Next/Previous" and wipe that one off, rinse-and-repeat. If I see multiple removals in the Recent history then I'm inclined to believe it's an ideological act, not from any considered review. If you really want to, save up the 'next' one for the day after (at least make it look like you slept on it), etc, and you're still capable of expunging seven of them a week, as opposed to the usual generation of them at three per week. You can still 'win', without looking like a total jobsworth. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.90.28|172.70.90.28]] 16:28, 14 January 2024 (UTC)

== File sizes ==
Hey, just noticed that a lot of the older xkcd comic files, especially the ones done by hand back when DgbrtBOT and TheusafBOT created yet, are all ___.png, while nowadays TheusafBOT uploads ___-2x.png files. Should we change the old files and make them all 2x, or should we just keep it like that? [[User:42.book.addict|42.book.addict]] ([[User talk:42.book.addict|talk]]) 17:20, 15 May 2024 (UTC)
:IMO (for what it's worth), leave them as they are. Anybody ''really'' wanting the _2x version (where they exist, as they haven't all got them) can grab them from the source site.
:It's actually a bit wasteful to upload the _2x and constrict them to display at non-2x sizes (and not to restrict them ''will'' often cause Explain-page misrendering that needs resolving again), but it was a fairly recent choice made by Theusaf to change their 'bot to upload the _2x rather than the long-term practice of the 'standard' size. Regularising everything would be require one image upload and (at least!) one page-source change to handle the change and I can think of just one maybe good reason to do so, vs. several fairly reasonable reasons not to bother.
:On balance, it'd be a thankless task, and probably create problems for other people. I know that, if you think you have time to do it, you might take this as a challenge... but I honestly think it's not worth it. Let TheusafBOF do its thing (and Theusaf, or others, intervene when it hits a new odd exception that breaks its purposeful current uploading policy) and leave the old stuff alone. Until, and unless, there's a legitimate reason to update individual comic images (e.g. Randall posted corrections; like prompted a recent re-upload, though that needed redoing anyway..!). [[Special:Contributions/172.69.194.95|172.69.194.95]] 21:08, 15 May 2024 (UTC)

== ChatGPT edits ==

What's the policy on AI driven edits of the wiki? On 2933, an edit by [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Special:Contributions/Kyrodes Kyrodes] (new user) directly overwrote multiple previous edits to insert a chatgpt-written edit which had pretty bad flow. I don't exactly know if I should revert it or not, but it's a little worrying. [[User:Eelitee|Eelitee]] ([[User talk:Eelitee|talk]]) 21:35, 17 May 2024 (UTC)
:I'd treat them like any other edit. If it worsens the explanation, it should be rolled back. If it improves it, it should be kept and improved upon more by other editors. if it removes information, however small or insignificant, that information should immediately be put back in or the edit should be reverted. --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 15:44, 3 November 2024 (UTC)

== New Category: Comics with a link to them on the xkcd homepage ==

I think there should be a category for comics with a link to them on the xkcd homepage. These comics currently are:
* [[556: Alternative Energy Revolution]],
* [[150: Grownups]],
* [[730: Circuit Diagram]],
* [[162: Angular Momentum]],
* [[688: Self-Description]],
and,
* [[1732: Earth Temperature Timeline]]. [[User:PDesbeginner|PDesbeginner]] ([[User talk:PDesbeginner|talk]]) 14:35, 21 June 2024 (UTC)
:There is, it's called [[:Category:Footer comics]] --[[User:B_for_brain|B for brain]] ([[User_talk:B_for_brain|talk]]) ([https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCg4bo-hj-mDyOOUp_Yp0pug youtube channel] [https://bforbrain.weebly.com/ wobsite (supposed to be a blag)]) 09:24, 3 November 2024 (UTC)

== Popular Comics ==
The Popular Comics category is quite arbitrary and there doesn’t seem to be much of a criteria to determine which comics are popular or not, would it be prudent to mark the category for deletion? If this category is wanted, could a criteria please be determined? Thanks, [[User:42.book.addict|42.book.addict]] ([[User talk:42.book.addict|talk]]) 19:22, 7 October 2024 (UTC)
:I scheduled it for deletion a few days ago, i was also wondering who creted it. It could be argued it's a duplicate of the Footer comics category. I did the same for the Unnumbered comics category, which was a duplicate of the Extra comics category iirc [[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 15:28, 3 November 2024 (UTC)

== Reaching out to Jeff ==
How’s this message? Feel free to correct me on anything or suggest things to add. [[User:42.book.addict|42.book.addict]] ([[User talk:42.book.addict|talk]]) 18:41, 3 November 2024 (UTC)

Hi Jeff,
I'm a regular editor from ExplainXKCD, the wiki that you own. I'm reaching out because there are a lot of “chores” on ExplainXKCD that should probably be done that only you can do. About 4-8 weeks ago, the website started spitting out a lot of errors. The whole community was receiving 503 Errors,"Server is down" messages, and broken CSS pages. I reached out on r/xkcd, talked to all semi-active sysadmins (Jacky720, Theusaf, Kynde, and Davidy22 replied, all of them said they couldn't help) to no avail. Although they have mostly stopped, could you please maybe dig into the server to find out why they happened to see if they will happen again? Thanks. I understand that you probably have a job (digging around, you seem to be a fantasy football podcaster? Football season has started, right? No judgment C:) and have great reasons to not check the wiki that often, but please respond as soon as you can so that something like this can’t happen again. We also desperately need a new ‘crat so that new admins can be promoted if needed, like 2022 when spambots attacked the wiki. On that note, we need new admins. User Dtgriscom is a very good candidate, as you had made him a temp-admin before (and he wishes to keep the position). I would also not be against being an admin, as I am fairly active and am quite dedicated towards the project. User FaviFake is also a great candidate. From what I’ve seen, some users have strongly recommended updating the MediaWiki software to the most recent version. Email confirmation is also broken, which means that users who have forgotten their passwords cannot recover their accounts. Furthermore, TheusafBOT is a BOT, and should (obviously) be given BOT status. Inactive admins, such as Markhurd (passed, confirmed on his English Wikipedia user page), Lcarsos (last edit was 2021 after a 6 year lapse), Dgbrt (last edit 2019), Mynotoar (last edit 2016), and Philosopher (last edit 2023, said that didn’t really use sysop tools) should all be de-sysopped. I hope that I’m not being too pushy as a 14 year old who barely knows anything about “the real world” and “working” and wikis, but there is quite a long to-do list for you. I believe that since you own the wiki, you should be obligated to do these “chores” or give responsibility to someone else (server access, promote them to ‘crat status, etc.) Again, please respond as soon as you can. Thank you.
Sincerely,
-42.book.addict
:Dammit, I can’t DM him without X Premium since he isn’t following me. Anybody else have other ideas? I can try to email Davidy22 for Jeff’s email? [[User:42.book.addict|42.book.addict]] ([[User talk:42.book.addict|talk]]) 19:24, 3 November 2024 (UTC)
::Update: I have successfully gotten Jeff’s email from Davidy22. I have sent him the email, hopefully he’ll respond soon. Cheers! -42.book.addict [[Special:Contributions/162.158.167.48|162.158.167.48]] 17:58, 20 November 2024 (UTC)
:::Hi all, the link attached is a screenshot of a Tweet/X that I'm afraid to send. Shall I? https://ibb.co/VqDYH7n '''[[User:42.book.addict|42.book.addict]][[User talk:42.book.addict|Talk to me!]]''' 00:11, 18 December 2024 (UTC)
::::Tweeted to him. Awaiting a response now. '''[[User:42.book.addict|42.book.addict]][[User talk:42.book.addict|Talk to me!]]''' 21:44, 24 December 2024 (UTC)
:::::Tweeted a message to [[explain xkcd|@Actually]][https://x.com/ActuallyBerg Berg] about the issues, seeing if he can reach out to Jeff in any other way than this wiki, Reddit, Twitter, email, etc. '''[[User:42.book.addict|42.book.addict]][[User talk:42.book.addict|Talk to me!]]''' 01:18, 29 December 2024 (UTC)

==The [[What If? chapters|'''''What If?'' article index''']] project==
Hey everyone,

I'm not sure if you noticed the banner of the site, but for the last few weeks a group of [[Talk:What If? chapters|incredibly talented editors]] have been redesigning the [[What If? chapters|'''index of ''What If?'' articles''']] from the ground up. Among other things, we've merged two huge tables, added a TON of additional info, created complex templates, and made [[What If? chapters|dozens and dozens of other improvements]]. I believe that, as a wiki, we should have a complete and detailed index of all what if? articles, [[List of all comics (full)|just like we do for the comics]], and we're getting so close to that goal! We mostly only need to add the missing explanations, improve the existing ones, and add the questions and answer summary from the books (plus other things).

We would love your help! We've prepared a [[What If? chapters|to-do list]] at the top of the page, containing everything that needs to be done, if you're interested. --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 17:30, 2 February 2025 (UTC)

== Asking Randall some questions on behalf of the wiki ==

Hey everyone! I tried contacting Randall to ask him when he replaced comic [[36: Scientists]], and he replied! You can read the conversation and a summary of what happened [[User:FaviFake|on my user page]]. Among other things, he gave me the official release date, April 28th, and, after I asked, he told me he might reply to more simple questions! If y'all have some technical or administrative questions, I could ask them directly to him. If you're interested, there are many more details about this [[User:FaviFake|here]]. Thanks! --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 18:26, 21 February 2025 (UTC)

==New thingy!==

I found a NYT article showing a comic Randall did for a high school science textbook. It's this: [[:File:Inside Body.jpg]]. Should we add an explanation? --'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al |DollarStoreBa'al]][[User talk:DollarStoreBa'al |'''''Converse''''']][[DSBContribs |'''''My life choices''''']] 16:56, 9 May 2025 (UTC)

== Individual headings in Talk pages ==

Greetings,
I have added a few Talk page comments, with unique headings, and I've noticed recently that some editors are going through those talk pages and deleting all headings, [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=Talk:3192:_Planetary_Alignment&diff=next&oldid=403346 example 1]; [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=Talk:3191:_Superstition&diff=403498&oldid=403237 example 2], leaving the result quite unreadable and unsorted. Is there a "style guide" or documented consensus that headings are not permitted on Talk pages? Is this a standard across this entire Wiki that I should be aware of? Are there any other "style guides" or "manual of style" beyond the "Editing FAQ" that would inform these decisions? Thank you. [[User:Elizium23|Elizium23]] ([[User talk:Elizium23|talk]]) 06:15, 19 January 2026 (UTC)
:Nope. The same IP did both of those edits; I don't know why. I think headers are useful, and if someone adds one before their comment then it shouldn't be removed by someone else.

:That IP has done a lot of what seems like good edits, starting three months ago, so assuming it's one person it doesn't seem like they're a vandal. -- [[User:Dtgriscom|Dtgriscom]] ([[User talk:Dtgriscom|talk]]) 13:16, 19 January 2026 (UTC)
::Addendum (to my following reply direct to Elizium, but this in response to Dtgriscom with whom I found myself Edit Conflicting):
::If it was an IP (not me, I'm sure, but hard to prove that - and there's non-zero possibility of us even both sitting in the same small range of IPs), it's possible they've also been around for years and so honestly following the established 'unwritten rules' as much as any directive.
::You'll also get 'established names' doing this, either knowing that it's more consistent this way or perhaps having been brow-beaten into this way of thinking by prior editors. (Either way, though, apparently thinking it's better this way.)
::Now, though, I m going to go and check the exact examples that happened. You never know, I might have a completely different idea of whether or not it's vandalism (or just 'sloppy re-editing'), and have to interfere myself... ;) [[Special:Contributions/82.132.244.8|82.132.244.8]] 14:28, 19 January 2026 (UTC)
:::Addendum-to-addendum: Well, they were indeed an 82-block editor, like me (currently), but could have been 'closer' still (c.f. subnet/8 and subnet/24 coincidences!). Yeah, those two edits were benign, IMO, and aimed more towards page consistency with practically zero ill effects as far as readability. Discussion page conversations flit around like butterflies, labelling some of them (but not all) can be more confusing than just taking them as they are, really. [[Special:Contributions/82.132.244.8|82.132.244.8]] 14:45, 19 January 2026 (UTC)

:It's not universal (as I'm sure you'll notice), but ==title== headers (and especially =title= ones) have been historically discouraged for several reasons. One of which might have been the tendency to appear on the Explanation Page (or Main Page) TOC, due to being a transcluded part of them.
:(That's why Explanations 'base' themselves with == level headers, to not confuse with the primary = level ones on the front page, and === level may have therefore been prefered in Discussion segments at one time or a other. Though there may currently be a NOTOC-type directive applied to stop that kind of 'header inheritance' anyway. I know there was some recent editing of the templates/whatever to do additional noinclude stuff at the Explanation/Discussion boundary, too, but I forget the full details without checking.)

:Another is that ''unless'' the next person to append a new 'zero indent' topic also supplies an appropriately new header, they're either adding a 'continuation' to a sub-subject (that they may now not be talking about) or have to find the last comment before ''any'' header and add their throwaway no-header item in with the "not yet headered" initial run.
:(Far simpler to just contextually have zero discussion headers and treat it as a chronological flat set of unrelated new comments. By root comment, that is; skipping later indented 'replies' apended after specific old comments. Not elegant, but readable.)

:The ''most'' acceptable form of Discussion header, over the years, is to use a ";"-prefixed line (technically misusing the ";dictionary:definition" markup syntax). It gives what is basically a visual header-like prominance ''without'' any of the unwanted semantic functionality.
:Some editors who edit away "==headers==" will perhaps convert them to ";headers". Other editors may make the Header+FollowingText into a 'cold open' of plain text, with only so much of the original Header (zero, some, all) being left as non-headed intro as seems necessary.

:Broad examples of that latter are:
*Useless header
::'''Hiya!'''
::I just want to say "First!" --signed
:...becomes...
::I just want to say "First!" --signed
:...While not begrudging the 'first-tag', the header is even more throwaway
*Cut-down header
::'''The thing about dinosaurs - A few thoughts'''
::While the velociraptor will [...]
:...perhaps becomes...
::The thing about dinosaurs is that, while the velociraptor will [...]
:...a bit of artistic applied to keep the 'main' part of the header.
*Full context header
::'''The table should be as per <comic-link>'''
::The reason being, that both are trying to display [...]
:...becomes...
::The table should be as per <comic-link>. The reason being, that both are trying to display [...]
:...it's basically the first sentence of the contribution, and what comes after needs it to make any sense.

:Not that there's a particular hard and fast rule to this (see the FAQ page for any 'expected standards' that are codified, or links onwards). The more general practice is that you let everyone say the ''words'' how they like, in Discssion sections (i.e. Talk:Comic pages), but others may well make the formatting more consistent with community expectations. If the community starts to expect headers (as they might already for long/complicated comics, or meta-aside 'post comic-comment commentaries', just not for most cases) or feel the need to otherwise (re)arrange things, someone might do it differently. (But it'd be undesirable to run through every prior Discussion section and try to reconstruct the headers that aren't/weren't there.)

:From an inertial POV, yes "unique headings" might be accepted, but I don't recall any recent example where their loss/conversion has been more detrimental than the restoration of the standing headerless practice has made more consistent, sitewise. (YMMV!)
:I also can't remember doing any of these 'prunings' myself, in very recent history (do recall some prunings happening... probably to your ones), but I've done my fair share and I know that I don't just throw them away without thinking. I'd always try to uphold the original author's (non-formatting) intent. And if I saw a less useful 'header decapitation' I might either improve how it's been done ''or'' revert it (perhaps semicoloning it, along the way) because it 'felt' right to have a header to me.

:But this is a community of new-bugs and old-farts and plenty in-between (I'm certainly far more 'fart' than 'bug'), and I'm hoping to give you a little insight into what I know of this site's 'unwritten rules' on this subject. (Whatever the written ones might say! ;) )
:A discussion of style is useful, of course. Whether the long standing editors will change (or the constant influx of newbies get it any more 'right' first time!) is another question. :p [[Special:Contributions/82.132.244.8|82.132.244.8]] 14:28, 19 January 2026 (UTC)
::My take is a) talk page formatting isn't a big deal, and b) reasonable comments by other users on talk pages (and I think those headers were such) shouldn't be edited or removed without a clear edit comment as to why. Otherwise you confuse and bemuse other editors. (And, we have bigger fish to fry.) -- [[User:Dtgriscom|Dtgriscom]] ([[User talk:Dtgriscom|talk]]) 15:10, 19 January 2026 (UTC)
:::I have absolutely no objection to being bemused... ;) [[Special:Contributions/82.132.244.8|82.132.244.8]] 15:28, 19 January 2026 (UTC)

== 226 has an undetermined character ==

It's either [[Blondie]] or [[Miss Lenhart]], and I don't know which. [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Qwertyuiopfromdefly]] ([[User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|talk]]) 04:55, 4 February 2026 (UTC)

3074: Push Notifications

2026-02-01T04:43:47Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: fixed number

{{comic
| number = 3074
| date = April 9, 2025
| title = Push Notifications
| image = push_notifications_2x.png
| imagesize = 277x347px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra! ''[[:Category:Multiple title texts|Different title text]]:'' :3
}}
{{series
| series = April
| number = 17
| date = April 9, 2025
| days_late = 8
| day_category = Wednesday
| prev_title = 2916: Machine
| prev_date = April 5, 2024
| next_title =
| next_date =
| extra_text = [[#Trivia|Learn why this comic was released late]].
}}
{{TOC}}To experience the interactivity of the game, visit the {{xkcd|3074|original comic}}!

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|
*The current explanation is too messy (unrelated paragraphs and too many bullet points). If needed, reorganise it, use tables, or divide it into subsections. It might be easier to navigate to have [[#jump|the notifications]] divided into subsections, one for each type of notification, so we can have smaller, separate tables that are easier to browse. In that same section, we can move the explanation of when they appear and move the image they are related to.

*The [[#Trivia]] section doesn't fully explain the apparent delayed launch of the comic. Give examples of other delayed comics and add more information about this one, sucha as the text of the first notification and what it means.

*The gallery is missing many image links! Links to all images are on the index.js at ''https://xkcd.com/3074/marconi/static/js/index.js?v{{=}}1''. You can easily identify them, they look like this: '''static/xyz.png'''
**[https://xkcd.com/3074/marconi/static/js/index.js?v{{=}}1 That same link] contains all the comic pictures, ''including each notification'', so download each notification image from [https://xkcd.com/3074/marconi/static/js/index.js?v{{=}}1 here] (use Ctrl+F to search for "static/" links, and then paste into the URL in the address bar), and create a new section for them! This way, we can showcase the initial notification flow in order. (Make sure to download the bigger version, labelled "4x" instead of "2x"!).

*Most of the transcripts for the additional [[#Comic images]] are not descriptive enough.

* Need to finish explaining the [[#jump|table with all the notifications]] and copy the images that go along with them. Notifications that are confirmed to be related to image changes should have the image in its explanation. (You can take the image from the section [[#Comic images]].)}}
The comic uses {{w|push notifications}} to change the comic image over time and make other statements. Upon viewing the comic for the first time, a sequence of notifications will be rendered over the comic itself. The notifications have a fade-in animation and appear one after another. The sequence is divided into several "groups" of notifications, each containing up to 4 regular notifications and an interactable button, which has a circled arrow icon to the right as well as a different text color. Clicking the arrow removes all notifications on screen and proceeds the sequence to the next group.

At the end of the sequence, a red-background option to sign up for xkcd notifications is presented. This part differs depending on if the user is "playing" from a mobile or desktop browser.

* On desktop, clicking this will result in the browser prompting the user to allow or block [https://xkcd.com xkcd.com]'s request to send push notifications. By allowing, the game begins. If blocked, the comic shows a message "An actual error occurred {{nowrap|:(}}", and the laptop bursts into flames (see the image in the [[#Comic images|table below]]). It also blows up in response to any other browser error, such as a 500 Internal Server Error, which is reported to happen if you click the pause button too quickly.{{Actual citation needed}}

* On mobile, a new on-screen notification will show up, telling the user to add zk to their home screen in order for it to send push notifications on mobile. Upon doing so and opening the webpage from the home screen, the system will prompt the user to allow or block push notifications from this webpage. The outcomes of allowing and denying are the same as on desktop.

Once the game begins, you are provided with two buttons: one labeled "Emergency Stop", and one labeled "Silence notifications at a cost". Clicking the "Emergency Stop" button allows you to either restart the full game or to subscribe just to thrice-weekly notifications for new xkcd comics, while the second button will temporarily silence notifications, supposedly at the cost of notifying two random people.

The title text references the {{w|Lernaean Hydra}}, a multi-headed serpent-like monster from Greek mythology; the Greek hero {{w|Heracles}} was tasked with slaying the Hydra as {{w|Labours_of_Hercules#Second:_Lernaean_Hydra|the second of his twelve labours}}. When he cut off one of its heads, however, two heads would grow in its place, resulting in more heads than before; Heracles soon realized he could not kill the Hydra in this fashion. It describes a similar situation with the "Notification Hydra": a push notification "head" of the Notification Hydra was dismissed, which subsequently spawned two more push notification heads providing updates about the status of the dismissal. If one of these new notifications were to be dismissed, it would again spawn another set of the same two push notification heads; thus, the Notification Hydra is unkillable in a manner similar to the original.

Up to 7 clickable cats periodically spawn at predetermined positions around the page, including one on the edge of the Emergency Stop button. The subdirectory where the images and scripts for this comic are stored is titled 'marconi,' which is likely a reference to the Italian engineer and inventor of the same name, {{w|Guglielmo Marconi}}, who is credited with inventing the radio, and did much work in the field of early communication systems.

===Notifications===
[[File:zoom_turtle.png|thumb|500px|right|When graphing the coordinates from the zoom notifications, a turtle and a squirrel appear.]]

A general list of notification types include:
* The "Zoom notifications" only include numeric coordinates, sometimes prefixed with "oh look!". Plotting the normal coordinates creates an image of a turtle, a reference to [[1416: Pixels]], while the [[#look|coordinates prefixed with "oh look!"]] create a squirrel behind the turtle. See the image above.

* A few starter notifications about this comic, the successful sending of a notification of this comic, and the lack of another comic.

* An announcement that an old comic was posted, specifying a (seemingly) random comic and its publication date. The publication date seems to be shown in a random {{w|Calendar date|calendar date format}}.

* A word game where a first notification asks you to type a word, with further notifications apparently to be sent whenever someone chooses the same word as you.
** The word can be chosen by clicking on the first notification, which lands you in the comic page. The comic pane will be changed to a comic-style input dialogue with a space for the word and a submit button. Upon providing a word, a notification informs you that you will then receive notifications (of the form "Someone else has selected the word <Your Word>!"), and that your choice is permanent and cannot be changed. You can also submit a blank text field, thus receiving "Someone else has selected the word !" notifications.

* A "streak" notification counting the number of times you've clicked it. To start with, the message changes every 10 clicks; then every 50 clicks (after 100) and then at increasing intervals. After every 50 clicks there is an offer to make future clicks count twice, making this a simple version of {{w|Cookie Clicker}}. If you choose to accept the offer by clicking on it, it will reset your clicks back to zero but makes all future clicks count double of the current click rate; you can also reject the offer by continuing to click on the click counter message. There are occasionally notifications encouraging you to keep clicking and "extend your streak," tempting you with "a free click to keep you going". After 400 clicks it will reset your clicks back to zero but makes all future clicks count four times.
** Early notifications encourage further clicking.
** Approaching a hundred, the messages grow more concerned and later start warning that the server will crash or has crashed.
** Above 750: "Are you just doing this to annoy me?"
** 1000-2000: "You're just doing this to annoy you?"
** Above 2000: "I guess it worked"
** Above 1000000: "Wow, you're really into this"

* "Constant reminders" with references to mathematical, physical, or some other constants. The constant values are stated to be "at the tone", likely in reference to {{w|Speaking clock|time-of-day phone services}}, which are live or recorded human voice services that tell you the exact time "at the third stroke" over the phone. (In at least some portions of the USA, the wording did use "tone" rather than "strike." For example, "At the tone, the time will be 2:32pm, and 10 seconds ... (beep)")

* A "have you seen my cat?" notification which causes all the cats to spawn when clicked.

* Cat fact notifications that appear when a cat is clicked, in reference to [https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/owx3v/so_my_little_cousin_posted_on_fb_that_he_was/ this exchange].

* Various "Erroneous Alerts" with a warning triangle {{w|emoji}} (⚠ U+26A0), some with just flavor text, some corresponding to changes in the comic image.

* A notification that offers to provide weather alerts for your location, which leads into a series of notifications asking whether you live in a named city. If none of the cities that it knows are selected, your location is set to the summit of {{w|Mount Washington}}.

* When the time is near a full hour or half-hour, that the current time is five o'clock.

* An invitation to subscribe to the "What if?" YouTube channel

* A notification with the heading "System Log" that reads (INFO): A user has paused notifications
** This notification presumably appears when a random user has pressed the "Silence notifications at a cost" button.

* A "{{w|Carriage return|Carriage Return}} Line Feed", referencing the Windows standard of storing line returns as a carriage return character followed by a line feed (newline) character. However, the xkcd Carriage Return Line Feed is instead a news feed concerning the next stop on a supposed "Carriage Return Line" of a train system. The announcements are all related to stations on the {{w|London Underground}}, including the use of the phrase "{{w|Mind the gap}}".

* A reminder to comment and subscribe. When clicked, they redirect the user to one of the following Wikipedia Talk pages:

{{cot|Wikipedia Talk pages}}
<div style="column-width:20em">
* {{w|Talk:Mathematics}}

* {{w|Talk:Romance}}

* {{w|Talk:Language}}

* {{w|Talk:Alarm fatigue}}

* {{w|Talk:Boneless}}

* {{w|Talk:Sitting}}

* {{w|Category talk:Unix text editors}}

* {{w|Talk:Robot}}

* {{w|Talk:Jamming avoidance response}}

* {{w|Talk:Squircle}}

* {{w|Talk:Like}}

* {{w|Talk:Drafting linen}}

* {{w|Talk:Hot dog}}

* {{w|Talk:Goomba}}

* {{w|Talk:Tidal locking}}

* {{w|Talk:Multiple unit}}

* {{w|Talk:Flag semaphore}}

* {{w|Talk:Stoating}}

* {{w|Talk:Roseate spoonbill}}

* {{w|Talk:Teleportation}}

* {{w|Talk:List of dumplings}}

* {{w|Talk:List of hat styles}}

* {{w|Talk:Cats and the Internet}}

* {{w|Talk:Laminar flow}}

* {{w|Talk:Time management}}

* {{w|Talk:Hole}}

* {{w|Talk:Spot welding}}

* {{w|Talk:Myst}}

* {{w|Talk:Agriculture in ants}}

* {{w|Talk:East}}

* {{w|Talk:Smoot}}

* {{w|Talk:Pancake}}

* {{w|Talk:Wedge (symbol)}}

* {{w|Talk:Wedge Antilles}}

* {{w|Talk:Pop-up notification}}
</div>
{{cob}}

<div style="clear: both"></div>
{| class="wikitable sortable mw-collapsible mw-expanded floatright"
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|(44,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(45,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(46,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(47,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(48,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(49,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(50,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(51,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(52,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(53,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(54,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(55,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(56,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(57,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(58,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(59,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(60,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(61,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(75,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(76,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(77,15)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(8,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(9,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(10,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(11,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(12,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(13,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(15,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(16,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(17,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(18,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(19,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(20,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(21,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(22,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(23,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(24,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(25,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(27,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(28,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(29,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(36,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(38,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(44,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(45,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(46,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(47,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(48,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(49,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(53,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(54,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(55,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(56,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(58,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(59,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(61,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(62,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(74,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(75,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(76,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(77,16)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(2,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(3,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(4,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(5,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(6,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(7,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(8,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(9,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(10,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(11,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(12,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(16,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(17,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(19,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(20,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(21,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(23,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(24,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(25,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(26,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(27,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(28,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(29,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(30,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(31,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(32,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(33,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(34,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(35,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(37,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(38,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(42,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(44,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(45,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(46,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(47,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(48,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(54,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(55,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(56,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(57,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(58,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(59,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(60,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(61,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(73,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(74,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(75,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(76,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(77,17)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(2,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(3,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(4,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(5,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(6,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(7,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(8,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(9,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(10,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(11,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(15,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(16,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(17,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(18,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(19,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(20,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(23,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(24,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(25,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(26,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(27,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(28,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(29,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(30,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(31,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(32,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(33,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(34,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(35,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(36,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(37,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(38,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(39,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(40,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(41,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(42,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(43,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(44,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(45,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(46,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(47,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(48,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(55,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(56,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(57,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(58,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(59,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(60,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(61,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(62,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(71,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(72,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(73,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(74,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(75,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(76,18)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(3,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(4,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(5,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(6,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(7,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(8,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(9,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(12,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(13,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(14,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(15,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(16,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(17,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(18,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(23,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(24,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(25,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(26,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(27,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(31,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(32,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(33,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(34,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(35,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(36,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(37,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(38,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(39,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(40,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(41,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(42,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(43,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(44,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(45,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(46,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(47,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(55,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(56,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(57,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(58,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(59,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(60,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(61,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(62,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(63,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(64,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(65,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(66,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(67,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(68,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(69,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(70,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(71,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(72,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(73,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(74,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(75,19)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(5,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(6,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(8,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(9,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(10,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(11,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(12,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(13,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(14,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(15,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(16,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(17,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(22,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(23,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(24,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(25,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(26,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(27,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(44,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(45,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(46,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(47,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(56,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(57,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(58,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(59,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(60,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(61,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(62,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(63,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(64,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(65,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(66,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(67,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(68,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(69,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(70,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(71,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(72,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(73,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(74,20)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(7,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(8,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(9,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(10,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(11,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(12,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(13,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(14,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(15,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(16,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(22,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(23,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(24,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(25,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(26,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(27,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(40,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(41,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(42,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(43,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(44,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(45,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(46,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(47,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(48,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(49,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(56,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(57,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(58,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(59,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(60,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(61,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(62,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(63,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(64,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(65,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(66,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(67,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(68,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(69,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(70,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(71,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(72,21)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(13,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(14,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(15,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(16,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(21,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(22,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(23,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(24,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(25,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(26,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(27,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(28,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(29,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(30,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(31,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(32,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(33,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(34,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(35,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(36,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(37,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(38,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(39,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(40,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(41,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(42,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(43,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(44,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(45,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(46,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(47,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(48,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(49,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(50,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(51,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(57,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(58,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(59,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(60,22)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(12,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(13,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(14,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(15,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(21,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(22,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(23,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(24,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(25,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(26,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(27,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(28,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(29,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(30,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(31,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(32,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(33,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(34,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(35,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(36,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(37,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(38,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(39,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(40,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(41,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(42,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(43,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(44,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(45,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(47,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(48,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(49,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(50,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(51,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(52,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(57,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(58,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(59,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(60,23)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(12,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(13,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(14,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(15,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(20,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(21,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(23,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(24,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(25,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(26,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(27,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(28,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(29,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(30,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(31,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(32,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(33,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(34,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(35,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(36,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(37,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(38,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(39,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(40,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(41,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(49,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(50,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(51,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(52,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(58,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(59,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(60,24)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(12,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(13,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(14,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(15,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(16,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(17,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(18,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(19,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(20,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(21,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(22,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(23,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(49,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(50,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(51,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(52,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(53,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(56,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(57,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(58,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(59,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(60,25)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(12,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(13,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(14,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(15,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(16,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(17,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(18,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(19,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(20,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(21,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(22,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(23,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(50,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(51,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(52,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(53,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(54,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(55,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(56,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(57,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(58,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(59,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(60,26)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(12,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(13,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(14,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(15,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(16,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(17,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(18,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(19,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(20,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(21,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(22,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(50,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(51,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(52,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(53,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(54,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(55,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(56,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(57,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(58,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(59,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(60,27)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(17,28)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(18,28)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(19,28)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(20,28)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(21,28)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(22,28)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(51,28)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(52,28)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(53,28)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(54,28)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(55,28)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(56,28)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(57,28)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(58,28)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|(59,28)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (1,1)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (2,1)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (3,1)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (4,1)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (13,1)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (2,2)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (3,2)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (4,2)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (5,2)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (12,2)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (13,2)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (14,2)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (15,2)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (2,3)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (3,3)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (4,3)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (5,3)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (12,3)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (13,3)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (14,3)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (15,3)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (16,3)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (3,4)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (4,4)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (5,4)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (6,4)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (12,4)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (13,4)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (14,4)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (15,4)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (16,4)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (3,5)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (4,5)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (5,5)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (6,5)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (11,5)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (12,5)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (13,5)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (14,5)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (15,5)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (3,6)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (4,6)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (5,6)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (6,6)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (9,6)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (10,6)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (11,6)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (12,6)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (13,6)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (3,7)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (4,7)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (5,7)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (6,7)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (8,7)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (9,7)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (10,7)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (11,7)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (12,7)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (13,7)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (3,8)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (4,8)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (5,8)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (6,8)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (8,8)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (9,8)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (10,8)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (11,8)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (12,8)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (13,8)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (14,8)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (3,9)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (4,9)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (5,9)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (6,9)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (8,9)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (9,9)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (10,9)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (11,9)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (12,9)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (13,9)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (3,10)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (4,10)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (5,10)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (6,10)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (8,10)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (9,10)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (10,10)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (11,10)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (12,10)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (13,10)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (4,11)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (5,11)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (6,11)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (7,11)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (8,11)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (9,11)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (10,11)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (11,11)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (12,11)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (5,12)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (6,12)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (9,12)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (10,12)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (11,12)
|-
|Zoom Notification
|oh look! (12,12)
|}

The full list of known notifications is [[#jump|available below]], while all the known zoom notifications are on the right.
{| class="wikitable sortable"
! Notification title 
! Notification body 
! Explanation 
|-
|Congratulations!
|You've activated desktop notifications.
|This notification shows up right after the user allows push notifications to be sent from [https://xkcd.com xkcd.com].
|-
|xkcd notification system success
|Success: A notification about the new xkcd comic has been sent!
|-
|xkcd notification system notifications
|Notification: No new xkcd comic has been posted since the last notification.
|-
|xkcd notification system test
|This is a test notification. If you’re seeing this, the notification system is configured incorrectly.

|-
|community message board
|Have you seen my cat?
|Up to 7 cats can appear at predetermined positions around the comic's page occasionally. It is guaranteed at the time of this notification being sent that there is at least one cat on screen.

|-
|Cat Fact!
|Despite frequent media portrayal of giving milk to cats, adult cats are frequently lactose intolerant.
|rowspan="26"| Upon clicking any of the 7 cats, the cat will disappear and the user will receive one of these notifications.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|The animal closest to the cat family without actually being in it is the linsang.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|The first known cat video was recorded in 1894.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|Cats can detect the active ingredient of catnip, nepetalactone, at less than one part per billion.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|Cats under the age of six weeks generally do not show any response to catnip.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|The oldest known cat lived to an age of 38 years old. Her name was Creme Puff.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|Cats can jump up to six times their length.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|Unlike humans, cats are capable of drinking saltwater if necessary for survival.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|Disneyland is home to approximately 200 feral cats.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|Many domestic cats can reach a top speed higher than Usain Bolt's 2009 sprint speed record.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|Estimates place the number of cats on Earth somewhere between 500 million and 1 billion.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|No one knows the breed of Schrödinger's cat because no one ever asked him.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|Cats generally purr at frequencies between 25 and 150 Hz.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|Cats have the same number of vertebrae in their neck as humans - seven.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|Cat nose prints are distinctive in the same way as human fingerprints.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|Cats only require approximately a sixth of the light that humans need to see.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|The first cat video on YouTube was posted in 2005.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|A cat's resting heart rate is more than twice that of humans with similar levels of fitness.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|Only one cat has ever been to space.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|The richest cat in the world was Blackie, who inherited 12.5 million dollars in 1988.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|"Litter" is the collective noun for a group of kittens born together.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|"Clowder" is one of the multiple collective nouns for cats.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|"Clutter" is one of the multiple collective nouns for cats.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|"Pounce" is one of the multiple collective nouns for cats.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|"Glaring" is one of the multiple collective nouns for cats.
|-
|Cat Fact!
|"Kindle" is a collective noun for any group of kittens, even if not all born together.

|-
|Cat Facts
|Meow!
|-
|Cat Facts
|Meow Meow!
|-
|Cat Facts
|Meow Meow Meow!
|-
|Cat Facts
|Meow Meow Meow Meow!
|-
|Cat Facts
|Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow!
|-
|Cat Facts
|Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow!
|-
|Cat Facts
|Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow!
|-
|Cat Facts
|Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow!

|-
|xkcd Weather Notification System
|Click here to get weather notifications!
|-
|Weather Notification Setup Wizard
|Now determining your location! Don't worry, this shouldn't take too long.
|-
|Please choose your location
|Are you in Albany? Click here to set your location to Albany.
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|Ok, are you in Atlanta? Click here to set your location to Atlanta.
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|Ok, are you in New York City? Click here to set your location to New York City.
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|Please choose your location
|How many more cities can there be?! Uh, ok, are you in Idaho Falls? #3rd to last
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|Please choose your location
|[getting desperate] Are you in Newport News, VA? #2nd to last
|-
|Please choose your location
|[increasingly desperate] Fargo???? #last
|-
|Weather location selected
|I'm sorry! That's all the cities I know! Oh no. What do we do?? Uhhh. Setting your location to MOUNT WASHINGTON SUMMIT, NEW HAMPSHIRE.
|If the user didn't interact with any of the "choose your location" notifications, this notification will eventually show up.
|-
|Weather Information
|You are subscribed to weather reports for <code>(City)</code>
|After selecting a location, the user will receive this notification with <code>(City)</code> substituted with the city they chose.

If the user had waited until Mt. Washington was automatically selected as a fallback option, <code>(City)</code> will be substituted with MOUNT WASHINGTON SUMMIT, NEW HAMPSHIRE, in all caps. This pattern follows for the other notifications that reference the chosen <code>(City)</code> name.

|-
|Weather report from Albany
|KALB 092251Z 33010KT 10SM FEW060 FEW120 FEW260 04/M09 A3023 RMK A02 SLP241 ASCL DSNT W T00441094
|Depending on the city you picked (see the "choose your location" notifications), the website will periodically send notifications containing {{w|METAR}} data. The weather station producing these data (the first 4 letters) is chosen depending on which city the user has selected.

Weather station codes selected for each city:
*Albany: <code>KALB</code>
*Atlanta: <code>KATL</code>
*Boise:
*Boston:
*New York City:
*Saint Louis:
*Anchorage:
*Idaho Falls:
*Newport News, VA:
*Fargo: <code>KFAR</code>
*MOUNT WASHINGTON SUMMIT, NEW HAMPSHIRE: <code>KMWN</code>

You can view historical METAR and {{w|TAF}} data of any station [https://aviationweather.gov/data/metar/? here].

|-
|xkcd News
|We’ve launched a Youtube channel for What If? videos!

Ring the bell, like, and subscribe!
|Clicking this notification redirects the user to [https://www.youtube.com/@xkcd_whatif xkcd's What If?] YouTube channel.

|-
|System Log
|(INFO): A user has paused notifications
|This notification is likely the result of a random other user clicking the "Silence Notifications at a Cost" button. According to the button's description, pressing it will temporarily pause notifications, but two other users will get this message instead.

|-
|Constant Reminders
|At the tone, Zero will be a Real Number
|-
|Constant Reminders
|At the tone, your favorite number will equal 14
|-
|Constant Reminders
|At the tone, The Golden Ration will equal half of 1 plus SQRT(5)
|This notification is a play on the concept of {{w|golden ratio}}, a popular and well-studied mathematical constant. (1+SQRT(5))/2 is the exact value of the golden ratio.
|-
|Constant Reminders
|At the tone, The Golden Ratio will equal half of 1 plus SQRT(5)
|There seems to be two versions of this notification, one with a "typo" (ration) and one without.
|-
|Constant Reminders
|At the tone, Pi will equal the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter.
|-
|Constant Reminders
|At the tone, Pi will equal half the value of Tau.
|While {{w|Turn (angle)#Tau proposals|Tau}} can be defined independently, it is usually defined as 2 times Pi, which makes this notification a circular definition.
|-
|Constant Reminders
|At the tone, Theodorus' constant will equal sqrt(3)
|-
|Constant Reminders
|At the tone, The Silver Ratio will equal 1 plus SQRT(2)
|The {{w|silver ratio}}, also known as silver mean, is a geometrical proportion that indeed has the value of 1+SQRT(2). Its name derived from {{w|golden ratio}}, since both are the positive root of a certain quadratic equation.
|-
|Constant Reminders
|At the tone, Euler's Number will equal the limit from n to infinity of 1 plus 1 over n to the nth power
|-
|Constant Reminders
|At the tone, the luminosity of the sun will be L☉
|-
|Constant Reminders
|We are currently experiencing 3600±1 seconds per hour.
Changes to this rate will be announced 6 months in advance.
|This is a reference to the {{w|Leap second#Procedure|standard Leap Second procedure}}.
|-
|Constant reminders
|The Earth is spinning at a rate of 1 rpd
|rpd stands for "revolutions per day", a unit for how fast something is spinning. A day can be defined as the length of time it takes for the Earth to complete one full revolution. Thus, saying that the Earth spins at 1 rpd is a circular definition.

|-
|How many times can you click this?
|You’ve clicked this notification 0 times
|rowspan="31"|Each click triggers another notification with the click count incremented. At each identified click count, the source changes to the corresponding text and remains there until the next threshold is reached, except for the "Super-special offer!" notifications. Clicking on a "super-special offer!" notification resets the click count to zero, but the click count will now increment at double the previous rate.
|-
|Hey you're pretty good at this...
|You've clicked this notification 10 times
|-
|You're really good at this...
|You've clicked this notification 20 times
|-
|Are you sure you want to keep going?
|You've clicked this notification 30 times
|-
|You're going to break something!
|You've clicked this notification 40 times
|-
|Super special offer!
|You've clicked 50 times. Click here to turn in those clicks to turn your future clicks into double clicks!
|-
|Upgrade!
|Enjoy your doubly good clicking.
|-
|You're breaking something!
|You've clicked this notification 50 times
|-
|You're breaking everything.
|You've clicked this notification 60 times
|-
|Stop! Please!
|You've clicked this notification 70 times
|-
|You're going to crash the system!
|You've clicked this notification 80 times
|-
|You've crashed the system.
|You've clicked this notification 90 times
|-
|Super special offer!
|You've clicked 100 times. Click here to turn in those clicks to turn your future clicks into double clicks!
|-
|Why?
|You've clicked this notification 100 times
|-
|Okay I kind of get it but...
|You've clicked this notification 150 times
|-
|Super special offer!
|You've clicked 200 times. Click here to turn in those clicks to turn your future clicks into double clicks!
|-
|There's no more notifications
|You've clicked this notification 200 times
|-
|You've clicked all the notifications
|You've clicked this notification 250 times
|-
|Okay just one more
|You've clicked this notification 300 times
|-
|Super special offer!
|You've clicked 400 times. Click here to turn in those clicks to turn your future clicks into double clicks!
|-
|You're just doing this to annoy me
|You've clicked this notification 500 times
|-
|Super special offer!
|You've clicked 800 times. Click here to turn in those clicks to turn your future clicks into double clicks!
|-
|You're just doing this to annoy you?
|You've clicked this notification 1000 times
|-
|Super special offer!
|You've clicked 1600 times. Click here to turn in those clicks to turn your future clicks into double clicks!
|-
|I guess it worked
|You've clicked this notification 2000 times
|-
|Super special offer!
|You've clicked 3200 times. Click here to turn in those clicks to turn your future clicks into double clicks!
|-
|Super special offer!
|You've clicked 6400 times. Click here to turn in those clicks to turn your future clicks into double clicks!
|-
|Super special offer!
|You've clicked 12800 times. Click here to turn in those clicks to turn your future clicks into double clicks!
|-
|Super special offer!
|You've clicked 25600 times. Click here to turn in those clicks to turn your future clicks into double clicks!
|-
|Super special offer!
|You've clicked 51200 times. Click here to turn in those clicks to turn your future clicks into double clicks!
|-
|Wow, You're really into this
|You've clicked this notification 1000000 times
|-
|Super special offer!
|You've clicked 102400 times. Click here to turn in those clicks to turn your future clicks into double clicks!
|-
|This is how you spend you time now?
|You've clicked this notification 10000000 times
|-
|Persistence is thy name
|You've clicked this notification 25000000 times
|-
|You're still here?
|You've clicked this notification 100000000 times
|rowspan="2"| A reference to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1XgFsitnQw the post-credits scene from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"].
|-
|It's over... go home...
|You've clicked this notification 1000000000 times
|-
|...
|You've clicked this notification 10000000000 times
|-
|Super special offer!
|You've clicked 439804651110400 times. Click here to turn in those clicks to turn your future clicks into double clicks!...

|-
|How many times can you click this?
|Whoops, did you mean to stop clicking these? We've given you a free click to keep you going. Click here to extend your streak of <code>(N)</code> clicks!
|Appears if you have a click count above zero but have stopped the chain of clicks. <code>(N)</code> is replaced with the current number of clicks you have. Upon clicking this notification, you are in fact given one free click. The source is whichever one is appropriate for your current click count.

|-
|Erroneous Alert
|⚠️ Error: Too many errors
|-
|Erroneous Alert
|⚠️ Error: Not enough errors
|-
|Erroneous Alert
|⚠️ Error: It's too quiet.
|-
|Erroneous Alert
|⚠️ Boop.
|-
|Erroneous Alert
|⚠️ Error: I forgot whether I'm the server r the client
|-
|Erroneous Alert
|⚠️ Error: I forgot whether I'm the server or the client
|-
|Erroneous Alert
|⚠️ Kernel Panic: Kernel can't remember what number comes after 38
|A {{w|kernel panic}} indicates an unrecoverable error in the {{w|operating system}}. Here, the kernel is described to "not remember" the sequence of numbers, a skill that is fundamental for machines. One can argue that failing to compute as a computer is a valid reason for a system-wide failure.
|-
|Erroneous Alert
|⚠️ Error: Not enough extensions installed
|-
|Erroneous Alert
|⚠️ Error: I received your request but decided to ignore you.
|-
|Erroneous Alert
|⚠️ welcome datacomp
|-
|Erroneous Alert
|⚠️ Error 40¾: HTTP error table corrupted.
|The error code "40¾" is displayed with {{w|Zalgo text}} for corrupted effect. Clicking on this notification sets the comic to the following image, where [[Cueball]] is seen shielding himself from a tentacle that has reached out from his laptop screen.[[File:3074_tentacles.png|frameless|150px]]
|-
|Erroneous Alert
|⚠️ Error 418: I'm a teapot.
|A reference to the {{w|Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol}}.
|-
|Erroneous Alert
|⚠️ Your computer has encountered an error.
|Clicking on this notification will change the comic to the pane where the laptop is on fire.
|-
|Erroneous Alert
|⚠️ The website has encountered an error.
|-
|Erroneous Alert
|⚠️ Gravity malfunction.
|Clicking this notification will change the comic pane to one where Cueball, the desk, and the laptop are floating in the air.
|-
|Erroneous Alert
|⚠️ Error: Website is dangerously overloaded. Click to empty computer ballast tanks.
|Clicking this notification will change the comic pane to a flooded one.
|-
|Erroneous Alert
|⚠️ Error: Computer size limiter has encountered a problem. Click to deactivate it.
|Clicking this notification will make [[Cueball]]'s laptop larger.

|-
|Comment and Subscribe
|Leave your thoughts in the comments below!
|Clicking this takes you to a seemingly random Wikipedia talk page.

|-
|An old xkcd comic has been posted
|Comic #[[11]] was posted on 1 January 06
|rowspan="10"|[[ISO 8601]]
|-
|An old xkcd comic has been posted
|Comic #[[301]] was posted on 10 Aug 07
|-
|An old xkcd comic has been posted
|Comic #[[359]] was posted on December 19 07
|-
|An old xkcd comic has been posted
|Comic #[[552]] was posted on March 6 09
|-
|An old xkcd comic has been posted
|Comic #[[1062]] was posted on 30 May 2012
|-
|An old xkcd comic has been posted
|Comic #[[1600]] was posted on 11/06/15
|-
|An old xkcd comic has been posted
|Comic #[[1694]] was posted on June 15 16
|-
|An old xkcd comic has been posted
|Comic #[[2369]] was posted on 2020-10-07
|-
|An old xkcd comic has been posted
|Comic #[[3054]] was posted on Feb 21 25
|-
|An old xkcd comic has been posted
|Comic #[[3062]] was posted on Mar 12 2025

|-
|Carriage Return Line Feed
|The next station is Putney Bridge. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform.
|rowspan="3"|
|-
|Carriage Return Line Feed
|The next station is Barbican. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform.
|-
|Carriage Return Line Feed
|The next station is Fairlop. Please mind the gap

|-
|Current time
|The current time is five o'clock
|

|-
|xkcd.com
|This site has been updated in the background.
|

|-
|Word game
|Click here to enter a Notification Word
|-
|Word game
|Your word has been set to <code>(word)</code>. This selection is permanent and can never be modified.
|-
|Word game
|Someone else has selected the word <code>(word)</code>!
|
|}

===Comic images===
{|class="wikitable"
!Image
!Transcript and explanation
|-

| [[File:3074_normal.png|240px]]
| Cueball sitting at his desk, with his laptop.

|-
| [[File:3074_big_laptop.png|240px]]
| Cueball sitting at his desk, with a very large laptop.

|-
| [[File:3074_plant_small.png|240px]]
| Cueball sitting at his desk, with a small potted plant.

|-
| [[File:3074_pot_squirrel.png|240px]]
| Cueball sitting at his desk, with a squirrel in the pot.

|-
| [[File:3074_plant_big.png|240px]]
| Cueball sitting at his desk, with a much larger plant that has clearly outgrown the pot, at least vertically.

|-
| [[File:3074_big_plant_cat_A.png|240px]]
| Cueball sitting at his desk with the larger plant, with a cat on one of the branches.

|-
| [[File:3074_big_plant_cat_B.png|240px]]
| A second image of Cueball sitting at his desk with the larger plant with a cat on one of the branches, but in a different spot.

|-
| [[File:3074 Desk with Cat Foreground.png|240px]]
| Cueball sitting at his desk, with a cat in the foreground near the point of view.

|-
| [[File:3074_cat_chair.png|240px]]
| Cueball sitting at his desk, his chair replaced with a large cat.

|-
| [[File:3074_computer_fire.png|240px]]
| Cueball sitting farther back from his desk, with the laptop on the desk on fire. This image also appears if [https://xkcd.com xkcd.com] is denied the permission to send notifications (see the [[#Explanation|explanation above]]).

|-
| [[File:3074_float.png|240px]]
| Cueball, the desk, and the laptop floating in the air.

|-
| [[File:3074_spin.png|240px]]
| Cueball spinning in his chair.

|-
| [[File:3074_desk_sit.png|240px]]
| Cueball sitting on the desk, facing the laptop on the chair.

|-
| [[File:3074_gameover.png|240px]]
| The desk vacant with "Game Over" displayed if you use the emergency stop.

|-
| [[File:3074_sword.png|240px]]
| Cueball sitting at his desk, with a laptop on the desk, and a sword leaning against the desk on the other side.

|-
| [[File:3074_swordfight.png|240px]]
| Cueball and Ponytail swordfighting while the computer has an hourglass icon, referencing [[303: Compiling]].

|-
| [[File:3074_flooding.png|240px]]
| The room flooded 2/3 of the way up the desk. Cueball is still sitting with his laptop.

|-
| [[File:3074_sailboat.png|240px]]
| The same flooding, with a miniature sailboat behind Cueball.

|-
| [[File:3074_flooding_cat.png|240px]]
| The same flooding, with a cat face behind Cueball.

|-
| [[File:3074_Flooded_Shark_Fin.png|240px]]
| The same flooding, with a shark fin on the far side of the desk, facing toward Cueball.

|-
| [[File:3074_longtable.png|240px]]
| Cueball sitting at the desk, which has been extended behind his laptop like a long meeting table.

|-
| [[File:3074_nocueball.png|240px]]
| No Cueball, only the chair, desk, and laptop.

|-
| [[File:3074_nodesk.png|240px]]
| Cueball using the laptop on his lap, with no desk.

|-
| [[File:3074_squirrel_on_head.png|240px]]
| Cueball with a squirrel on his head.

|-
| [[File:3074_squirrel.png|240px]]
| A squirrel sitting at the desk, seemingly using the laptop.

|-
| [[File:3074_standing.png|240px]]
| Cueball standing on top of the laptop keyboard.

|-
| [[File:gallery_placeholder.png|240px]]
| Cueball sitting at the desk, wearing a wizard hat.

|-
| [[File:3074_floor.png|240px]]
| Cueball sitting on the floor behind the desk.

|-
| [[File:3074_tentacles.png|240px]]
| Cueball sitting in his chair, shielding his face from a tentacle coming from the computer screen.

|-
| [[File:3074_tall_chair.png|240px]]
| Cueball sitting at his desk, typing on his laptop, while in an office chair raised to an excessive height – likely a reference to [[2144: Adjusting a Chair]].

|-
| [[File:3074_cat.png|240px]]
| The cat that appears after returning to the comic window after leaving it idle for long period of time. It has a unique title text of ":3".
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Need to finish the transcript in the table ABOVE, it's not detailed enough.}}
:[Cueball sits at a desk in an office chair. He is typing on a computer.]
:[Gray message boxes with a small circled “x” at the top right corner are shown:]
:Happy April 1st (observed)!
:To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: push notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people ''NOT'' to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:''Click this notification to learn more!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:“Push notifications for new comics” sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There’s a nice API for browser notifications. xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each update, right?
:That’s what we thought, too.
:''Click to continue!'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:[To the side of the comic frame is a big, horizontal hexagonal stop sign]
:Sign: Emergency STOP
:Below the sign: ''Halt ALL notifications and forget everything''
:The good news is that we did build a button to stop xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:''The rest of the system does NOT work.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:We’re sorry.
:We don’t know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications a week. A LOT more.
:We cannot recommend signing up for xkcd new comic notifications at this time.
:''Click here to ignore the warnings.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large number of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:<big>⚠️DO NOT ENABLE XKCD NEW COMIC NOTIFICATIONS⚠️</big>
:''Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications.'' (a circled arrow is shown)

:Are you sure?
:''Yes!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:Absolutely sure?
:''YES!!'' (a circled arrow is shown)
:To enable push notifications on mobile you need to add xkcd.com to your home screen.

:''Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications''

:[Initial static image shows Cueball sat on an office chair at a desk using a laptop computer. A notification 'window' is speech-bubbled above the computer]
:[Grey notification box, header:] April 1st (Observed)
:[Notification box, further text:] Open xkcd.com to view.
:Laptop: [Warning sign.]

:[When viewed live, various xkcd-style popover notifications appear, each can be dismissed or (usually the last on every page) invited to press an 'onwards'-style button.]

:[First page of messages]
:Happy April 1st! To celebrate, we were excited to introduce a new xkcd.com feature: Push Notifications for new comics!
:Unfortunately, this feature has gone horribly wrong.
:Until further notice, we are asking people NOT to sign up for new comic notifications.
:Frankly, we recommend not even clicking on any notifications to learn more.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to learn more''

:[Upon choosing to continue, further messages appear, replacing any prior ones left open]
:"Push Notifications for new comics" sounds like a simple feature, right?
:There's a nice API for browser notifications, xkcd updates three times a week.
:So you just send a notification for each upafte, right?
:That's what we thought, too.
:[Notification with 'onwards button':] ''Click on this notification to continue''

:[Next set of popover messages]
:The good news is that we did build a button to STOP xkcd new comic notifications.
:You can press this button at any time and the system will stop sending you notifications.
:The nightmare will be over and the server will forget you ever existed.
:This part definitely works.
:[Notification with 'onwards':] ''The rest of the system does not work.''
:[To the right of the comic frame, a red, octagonal button has white text upon it:]Emergency Stop
:[Below the button is red text:] Halt all notifications and forget everything

:[Next set of popovers, "stop" button remains permanently so long as you continue]
:We're sorry.
:We didn't know how things went so wrong.
:The system is sending more than three notifications at this time.
:['Onwards' notification:] ''Click here to ignore the warnings''

:[Next set.]
:No, really.
:Our notification system may send a large amount of very real system notifications.
:These may flood your browser, displace other notifications, and cause problems.
:[Text bookended by warning triangles:] Do not enable xkcd new comic notifications
:['Onwards':] Yeah, I get it, but I definitely want to enable xkcd new comic notifications

:[Just two popovers, initially]
:Are you sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes
:[On clicking onwards, two more appear below]
:Absolutely sure?
:['Onwards':] Yes!!
:[On clicking, a further popover]
:[Red-tinted 'onwards'-style popover with warnings:] Click here to subscribe to xkcd notifications.

:[...something appeared then dissappeared...]
:[Genuine(?) browser dialogue activated:] xkcd.com wants to send you notifications. Block / Allow

:[If allowed, one more popover in the original style]
:Success!!
:[Below the Emergency Stop button, an oval gray button appears labeled in white:] Silence notifications at a cost
:[Below that, in grey text:]Temporarily pause your notifications at the cost of notifying two random people.

:[Further changes include the contents of the comic. The transcript for these changes is available on the [[#Comic images|Comic images section]].]

==Trivia==
*This comic was posted 8 days late, as noted by the first notification the user is presented with.

*There are two typos in two different notifications. In the notification "[https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/3074:_Push_Notifications/Table_of_Notifications#:~:text=Error%3A%20I%20forgot%20whether%20I%27m%20the%20server%20r%20the%20client ⚠️ Error: I forgot whether I'm the server r the client]", "'''o'''r" is misspelled as "r", and in the notification "[https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/3074:_Push_Notifications/Table_of_Notifications#:~:text=At%20the%20tone%2C%20The%20Golden%20Ration%20will%20equal%20half%20of%201%20plus%20SQRT(5) At the tone, The Golden Ration will equal half of 1 plus SQRT(5)]", "ratio" is misspelled as "ratio'''n'''". It is unknown whether these were inserted by mistake or were part of the humor, especially because there are also two versions of these notifications that are not misspelled.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Cats]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Multiple title texts]]
[[Category:Turtles]]

2916: Machine

2026-02-01T04:42:48Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: fixed number

{{comic
| number = 2916
| date = April 5, 2024
| title = Machine
| image = machine_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x740px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The Credible Machine
}}
{{series
| series = April
| number = 16
| date = April 5, 2024
| days_late = 4
| day_category = Friday
| prev_title = 2765: Escape Speed
| prev_date = April 19, 2023
| next_title = 3074: Push Notifications
| next_date = April 9, 2025
| extra_text = [[#Trivia|Learn why this comic was released late]].
}}
{{TOC}}To experience the interactivity of the game, visit the {{xkcd|2916|original comic}}!

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Need to complete the explanations for the items.}}

The comic starts in a main screen where the user can create a {{w|Rube Goldberg machine}} in a "Cell" where the goal is to route a constant stream of colored balls from inputs on the ceiling or walls to outputs of matching colors on the walls or floor. After the comic is first opened a window pops up over the machine where Cueball in a lab coat tells you to route the balls from the inputs to the outputs. A button opens a “tool panel” where there are large and small boards available for use, as well as some gimmicky stuff like prisms (which deflect marbles) and fans (which blow marbles around), plus decorative elements which have no effect on the balls.

Typically, inputs and outputs only accept balls of a single color. However, some outputs accept multiple colors, indicated by a double arrow, and some inputs produce multiple colors. When the player is designing their 'machine', this will involve multiple full streams merged into one (supplied by a double-exit on the adjacent submission). Machines now working in the full grid may, however, find that their sources now contain stray balls of other types that were not handled properly, but there is no way to force a re-edit of the machine to alter its behavior to account for this.

If any balls are left in your cell for more than 30 seconds, they fade away. The first time a ball fades away another popup informs you that the balls are removed for security reasons. An indicator next to each exit increases for each ball of the correct color that passes through an exit, and reduces when no balls pass through, or if balls of the wrong color pass through it. While that exit is not properly supplied it displays a red cross, which changes to a green tick when a sufficient, and sufficiently clean, stream of balls is supplied. The first time you have built a machine which succeeds in routing enough balls of the correct color to ''all'' relevant outputs, a popup will prompt you to submit your cell to be added to the public machine. (Subsequently, the submit button will quietly change from 'inactive' (pale) to clickable (dark). This will change back again if any ball transfers dip back below the required threshold for any reason, such as further editing or an end to a 'fluke' glut of accumulated balls.)

Choosing to submit your cell will give you a textbox to give this cell a name. Proceeding through that, you will now see your cell within the 'grid' and a 'live' feed of balls from any relevant neighboring cells (which may be more sporadic then the feed you designed your cell with, and contain stray balls of different types). If any supplying-neighbors are still marked as "under construction", they ''may'' provide the balls as if perfectly routed from their own (eventual) source, but will eventually dry up. If your newly submitted creation is placed in the lowest row of cells, balls will be dispensed through the exit at the bottom, but there will be no launcher to propel them towards the pit, and they will vanish as they leave the exit.

Upon reopening the link to this comic without coordinate and time parameters, your recently created machine will most likely not be visible in the space you built it in. [https://www.reddit.com/user/xzaphenia/comments/ Reddit user xzaphenia] has claimed on r/xkcd that this is because there is a moderation team (of which they are a member) and that [https://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/1c1ixmb/comment/kzc3rmg/ the main page only shows public, approved machines]. This team of people, including those credited as co-creators of this comic, select machines according to their preferences (and little to no formal criteria besides [https://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/1c0sp60/comment/kz6hbgl/ coolness, innovativeness, effectiveness], and [https://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/1c0bsk2/comment/kyvfean/ privacy concerns]). Given the number of 'bottom-layer' cells that are likely primed ready to be completed (e.g. the grid-width of twelve, perhaps staggered across adjacent rows) and the many possible worldwide contributors at any one time, it may be that the chances of being picked for permanence is low; and certainly would have been lower early on in the comic's existence during the initial frantic rush to participate. [https://www.reddit.com/r/xkcd/comments/1c0sp60/comment/kz6hbgl/ It is also claimed that at some point, moderation will be cut off and the machine will be considered "complete"]; since the number of modules in the machine has not changed for more than a year now, it is very likely that this has already happened.

<gallery heights="200" widths="150">
File:2916_popup_intro.png|Introduction popup
File:2916_popup_time.png|Time limit popup
File:2916_popup_submit.png|Submission popup
</gallery>

The button in the bottom right corner allows you to toggle between editing your own machine and a page where you can drag around to view all of the machines that have been submitted and accepted, with a title for each in the upper left corner. In this view you can see that all of the outputs are also inputs for another cell, except for the top row where the inputs come from off screen and the lowest row which output through a launcher of some kind to a set of four colored-coded containers far below. Any empty cells are marked off by yellow tape with the words "UNDER CONSTRUCTION" as well as "DJIA ↑ 31415" once in each cell. "DJIA" stands for the Dow Jones Industrial Average, with "DJIA ↑ 31415" indicating that it rose to 31415 points, 31415 being the first five digits of pi, without the period. This would often be displayed on a yellow 'ticker', which might look superficially similar to the yellow barrier tape.

When viewing the whole machine, a button in the bottom left corner, added later, allows you to follow the path of the nearest ball as it passes from cell to cell. This will also make the ball you are following immortal - not subject to the 30s timeout rule. However, it will stop following at the bottom of the base machine -- it will not follow into the bottom holding containers, nor keep it immortal once down there. Another later addition was a button in the top left corner which copies a URL that will take you directly to the current cell that you are viewing. However, the link that is created will always show you the version of the machine at the time that you were viewing it, without any subsequent additions.

Whenever balls reach the bottom of the grid, they are directed towards four containers, one of each color. Most balls are accurately sent to their appropriate container, though there are some misfires. These containers are above a pit, and dump their contents every 11.5 seconds. Balls in the pit are subject to a 97 (approx) second culling rule (including time spent in the holding containers), unlike the balls in the cells above. If no balls are directed towards the containers, the pit will be empty. If at least one stream of balls is making it, Cueball and Megan sit in a small boat named the USS Buoyancy, and when sufficient balls are being deposited, the boat begins to float and move. Balls that miss or overspill the pit fall out of the bottom of the frame.

Under construction cells will feed balls of the appropriate color into neighboring cells so long as you are not looking at them. Once you scroll to look at them, the supply of balls stops and subsequent cells in the chain will not receive any; scroll away from them again and the supply will resume.

The grid is 12 cells wide, and grows in height. The largest size observed so far is 12x128, for a total of 1536 cells. The machine's height is determined by the lowest cell; this can be either your submitted cell, or a cell created by another user.

Imperfections in the machines (whether accidental or by design) and the impossibility of entirely avoiding collisions when crossing streams inevitably lead to significant levels of losses and pollution with the wrong color balls. Indeed, using the follow ball function appears to demonstrate that it is quite rare for a ball to survive more than several machines without getting stuck somewhere. This should mean that effectively no balls would reach the lower layers. This implies that there is some 'creative accounting' going on to ensure that cells lower in the grid still have balls to process - simulating flow only for a few nearby cells, while assuming that those cells themselves have pure, steady inputs.

There is a hard limit of 100 items (both physically interactive and purely decorative) that can be placed in any given arena. If you have placed 75 items, a count will appear in the component bar of your piece-count ("''##''/100"), which will go away again if you delete items to bring it below this count. The count text turns red at "100/100", at which point no more items can be added, only existing ones moved (or removed, to lower the count again).

"Machine" had been updated multiple times in the weeks following its initial release, adding the following features:
* the trophy and shot glass props
* the cat, which swats balls in front of it
* the inanimate kitten and bun decorations
* a system of links, which encodes the XY coordinates of the currently viewed cell, and the time (i.e. the entire machine's state after a certain moderation action)
* a button to follow a nearby ball as it traverses through the machine, also preventing it from despawning

As referenced in the title text, this game is a spiritual successor to the 1990s and early 2000s PC puzzle game series {{w|The Incredible Machine}}, a game Randall played as a kid. Both games have several objects in common:
* fan
* cat
* ramps
* balls of varying densities

===Toolbox items===
====Tangible items====
{| class="wikitable sortable" style=margin:auto"
! Image
! Item !! Explanation
|-
| [[File:2916_plank.png|frameless|upright=0.25]]
| Plank || This object is a static obstacle.
|-
| [[File:2916_hammer.png|frameless|upright=0.25]]
| Hammer || This object is a static obstacle.
|-
| [[File:2916_sword.png|frameless|upright=0.25]]
| Sword || This object is a static obstacle.
|-
| [[File:2916_scoop.png|frameless|upright=0.25]] [[File:2916_scoop_mirrored.png|frameless|upright=0.25]]
| Hinged scoop || It rotates around its hinge and tries to remain horizontal, with a spring-like effect. The hinged scoops are strictly horizontal when placed on the building. They rotate away from — and spring back to — the horizontal position in response to interactions with balls or other non-decorative items that may disturb their balance. These disturbances can sometimes lead to further interesting interactions, which may or may not be intentional or useful.
Along with the triangular Bumpers, they are the only class of objects with a clear and practical asymmetry, for which a mirrored chirality can be selected from the sidebar.
|-
| [[File:2916_anvil.png|frameless|upright=0.125]]
| Anvil || This object is a static obstacle.
|-
| [[File:2916_brick.png|frameless|upright=0.125]]
| Brick || This object is a static obstacle.
|-
| [[File:2916_fan.png|frameless|upright=0.125]]
| Fan || Blows away balls in front of it. Can be rotated 360 degrees. Different colors are affected by differing amounts (yellow balls are lightest, and can be levitated above an upward-facing fan). If a ball hits a blade of a fan, especially from the side, the bounce is larger than normal. If you put a fan interlocking with a wheel it might eventually freeze your machine.
|-
| [[File:2916_pillow.png|frameless|upright=0.125]]
| Pillow || Balls bounce less if they hit it.
|-
| [[File:2916_round_bumper.png|frameless|upright=0.125]] [[File:2916_bumper_left.png|frameless|upright=0.125]] [[File:2916_bumper_right.png|frameless|upright=0.125]]
| Bumper || Bounces balls away at significantly higher speed. Together with the Hinged scoop, they are the only object class with a clear and practical asymmetry, for which a mirrored chirality can be chosen from the sidebar.
|-
|| [[File:2916_attractor.png|frameless|upright=0.125]]
| Attractor/Black hole || It pulls balls towards its center. The Attractor is omnidirectional, but the area of effect can be resized to extend or restrict its influence. You do this via extending its bounding box with corner and mid-edged 'drag nodes' and a circular area that shows the current extent, which are only visible when the element is actively selected. This resize can be no larger than will make the box/circle touch the edges, no smaller than the fixed graphic and will always be identically proportioned in both axes.
|-
| [[File:2916_repulsor.png|frameless|upright=0.125]]
| Repulsor/White hole || It repels balls away from center. Like the Attractor, it is omnidirectional and can be resized.
|-
| [[File:2916_prism.png|frameless|upright=0.125]]
| Prism || "Refracts" and internally-reflects balls as they otherwise pass through the object, the color of the ball ''may'' cause them to react (as much as possible) according to the respective color across the element.
|-
| [[File:2916_wheel.png|frameless|upright=0.125]]
| Wheel || Spins, deflects balls, can jam with enough resistance (e.g. glut of balls or against other elements). It actively rotates and starts off, by default, spinning anticlockwise. Pressing or tapping left/right arrow keys, when a placed wheel is selected, will adjust that wheel's rotation rate to be more/less anticlockwise. Adjusting it beyond zero rotation allows you to make it spin in the opposite direction. Rotation can be increased well beyond the point at which the {{w|wagon-wheel effect}} occurs, which may make it difficult to work out the spin direction of an overspeed wheel element (and thus which arrow keys will slow or speed up its rotation, if you have forgotten), though observing its impact upon any balls that strike it ''should'' make its current spin-direction obvious. The 'bounding editing box' will usually appear rotated, possibly according to the spinning graphic's current orientation upon selection, but remains at that (often non-orthagonal) angle even as the wheel spins (if it can) during this period of selection for editing.
|-
| [[File:2916_trophy.png|frameless|upright=0.125]]
| "Good job" trophy (Called "stand" in assets)|| This object is a static obstacle. Any ball can rest on the top of a trophy. This feature was probably added on purpose.
|-
| [[File:2916_cup.png|frameless|upright=0.125]]
| Glass cup || This object is a static obstacle. Container, with a nominal capacity of up to four balls (in whole or in part) within it.
|-
| [[File:2916_cat_new.png|frameless|upright=0.25]]
| Cat || Swats away balls in front of itself (was added later). Balls can get stuck on top of the cat or between the cat's head and tail.
|}

====Intangible decorations====
{| class="wikitable sortable" style="margin: auto; float: right"
! Image !! Transcript
|-
| [[File:2916_ponytail_arms.png|frameless|upright=0.125]]
| Right-facing Ponytail, with raised arms
|-
| [[File:2916_ponytail.png|frameless|upright=0.125]]
| Right-facing Ponytail, standing
|-
| [[File:2916_cueball_arms.png|frameless|upright=0.125]]
| Left-facing Cueball, with raised arms
|-
| [[File:2916_whitehat.png|frameless|upright=0.125]]
| Left-facing White Hat, standing
|-
| [[File:2916_knitcap_resting.png|frameless|upright=0.25]]
| Rightwards-facing Knit Cap, in an 'action' pose
|-
| [[File:2916_knitcap.png|frameless|upright=0.125]]
| Right-facing Knit Cap, standing
|-
| [[File:2916_helmet.png|frameless|upright=0.125]]
| Helmet-wearing figure, standing
|-
| [[File:2916_squirrel.png|frameless|upright=0.125]]
| Squirrel
|-
| [[File:2916_deterministic.png|frameless|upright=0.25]]
| "Probably Deterministic" sign
|-
| [[File:2916_rabbit.png|frameless|upright=0.125]]
| [[1682: Bun|Bun]]
|-
| [[File:2916_cat.png|frameless|upright=0.125]]
| Cat
|}

All other items can be manually re-angled by a 'loop node' arm extending from the bounding box. If you cannot see the 'angle node' for such a selected item, which is normally at the top of any freshly placed item but follows any re-angling that may have already applied, it could be that you have placed the item too close to the edge in which direction the node extends. To rotate it, move the object away from the edge to access the construction node (after which, you can drag the object back if required – but see below).

Rotation may be limited by the {{w|minimum bounding box}} that is the 'selection box', this is not necessarily the more flush {{w|convex hull}} of the collision-map built into the graphic. Should a corner of the bounding box need to move across the edge of the build-area, it will do nothing more than touch the edge until there is sufficient angle-drag to snap it to the angle from which that corner now comes back away from the edge; or, when it has a long straight edge currently flush with the edge boundary, it may snap to exactly 180°, in rotation, whereupon the opposite long straight edge is flush to the construction area edge. All objects that are drag-moved, similarly, cannot be moved any further than their current bounding box touching the construction-area edging. The bounding box for the rotating wheel is a notable exception to this, being not under any direct angle-control by the player. Instead, it seems to use the bounding inscribed circle that defines the wheel edge iteslf.

Apart from some interactions between the hinged scoops and any element (including other hinged scoops), there is no preventative 'collision detection' between objects during user-placement, which may overlap/cover each other (the most recently spawned item graphically overlays any earlier one). The wheel object will only spin if not constrained by other physical elements (including the spokes of an adjacent wheel, not in counter-rotation) but can still be dragged and placed anywhere within the boundary of the construction area.

The continuous stream(s) of balls respect all ''tangible'' objects, which includes any currently being dragged/rotated, though may prematurely vanish if forced between two items moved to touch/overlap each other. It is possible to indirectly nudge balls by carefully moving a tangible object's surface into them (or holding them within it, e.g. the "cup"). This may be useful for rescuing temporarily stray balls (before they time-out anyway), unjamming an area with a construction-induced glut ''or'' for testing a ball-path that is not currently being fed 'naturally'. Doing so ''can'' then conceivably fulfil all the exit-gate requirements (temporarily), as it might also transiently spoil some required routing, but the manual intervention will not be possible once a 'machine' has been submitted.

====Non-player items====
{|
|[[File:2916_container_red.png|thumb|center|80px]]
|[[File:2916_container_yellow.png|thumb|center|80px]]
|[[File:2916_container_blue.png|thumb|center|80px]]
|[[File:2916_container_green.png|thumb|center|80px]]
|}
Ball containers at the bottom of the machine.

[[File:4d425c.png|thumb|left|250px|Cueball and Megan in the ''USS Buoyancy.]]

[[File:2916_pit_bottom.png|thumb|left|400px|Pit below the ''USS Buoyancy''.]]
 

=== Color routing ===
The different ball colors have different physical properties. Red balls are more bouncy than other balls, green balls are heavier, and yellow balls are lighter and slightly bouncy. The following values were extracted from the code:
{| class="wikitable sortable"
! Color
! Mass
! Density
! Restitution (bounciness)
! Linear damping (drag)
|-
! data-sort-key="00F" | Blue
| 0.08
| 1
| 0
| 0
|-
! data-sort-key="F00" | Red
| 0.08
| 1
| 0.8
| 0
|-
! data-sort-key="0F0" | Green
| 0.75
| 9.325
| 0
| 0
|-
! data-sort-key="FF0" | Yellow
| 0.024
| 0.3
| 0.6
| 2
|}

Balls also have spin, but it is subtle and hard to see because the balls have no visible texture.It can be seen, with effort, using green balls (which are heaviest). Rolling down a slope (say, two boards), green balls accumulate spin in the direction they are rolling. Let them drop off the end and then bounce off a brick such that they travel upward, but with very little sideways motion. Then "catch" the balls with a brick just past their apex, when they are moving slowly. If the ball lands on a horizontal brick, it can be seen that the ball will suddenly accelerate left or right based on the spin.

For certain combinations of inlet and outlet 'gates', it is necessary to 'cross the streams'. e.g. to direct righthand-entry balls to a lefthand-exit and vice-versa. It is possible to just construct the field to send two (or more!) sets of balls to fly across a common gap, to land on an appropriate reception area that leads to the chosen exit. But, though this is not {{w|Proton pack#Crossing the streams|completely inadvised}}, the timing of the balls cannot be guaranteed to be in sync (or, rather, anti-sync) with each other and collisions ''will'' occur, especially under the variations of delivery that might significantly alter the ballistic path across the gap. Even if the trial machine works, in isolation with a steady stream of all balls entering the field of play, once submitted it will inevitably be fed by a more chaotically-routed preceeding construction.

In order to maintain sufficient correct arrivals at exits, it may be necessary to add a method of filtering the hues.

This could just mean introducing a 'wrong hue trap' beyond any crossing point(s) that send the occasionally wrong ball back to the cross point (or let them time-out in a dead-end, relying upon few enough failures from the rest of the balls, along with all colliding balls that subsequently missed ''any'' chance of reaching an exit). Alternatively, two (or more) feeds of marbles could be fed through a deliberate 'sorter' that does a sufficiently reasonable job of separating the combined sets out towards their intended target-exits.

The various physical qualities of the balls suggest a number of methods for redirecting separate hues to separate onward journeys. This can be done by isolating a hue from every other hue, then passing on (if necessary) to a setup extracting a different one from the remainder, and perhaps also a third time. It may also be possible to merge 'arrangements' of sorting mechanics to efficiently distribute straight into three ''or even four'' onward tracks towards the desired outputs, but that is left as an exercise to the reader.


{| class="wikitable"
! style="background-color:black; color:white" | To separate !! style="background-color:lightblue" | Blue !! style="background-color:lightgreen" | Green !! style="background-color:yellow" | Yellow !! style="background-color:red" | Red
|-
! style="background-color:red" | Red
| *R/B* | '''Use 'bounce''''
The sole difference is how much balls will rebound from objects. Well managed and constrained ricochets should allow a sorting action.
| *R/G* | '''Use mass or 'bounce''''
Green balls are not easily affected by a fan or a black hole, making it easier to sort from other balls. On the other hand, it also means it is very hard to precisely accelerate green, since the only components able to accelerate green is the bonk and the kitten. Green, like Blue, rebounds differently to Red.
| *R/Y* | ''See Y/B+G''
| *R/R* style="text-align: center; background-color:black; color:white" | n/a
|-
! style="background-color:yellow" | Yellow
| *Y/B+G* colspan=2| '''All methods'''
Yellow, alone, exhibits high drag against any unforced motion. It is also unique in all other ways; e.g. can be levitated highest, against all other hues (though most profoundly against Green).
| *Y/Y* style="text-align: center; background-color:black; color:white" | n/a
| *Y/R* style="text-align: center; background-color:gray" | ''See Y/B+G'' 
|-
! style="background-color:lightgreen" | Green
| *G/B* | '''Use mass'''
Green balls are only minimally affected by a fan. There is also a not so marginal difference in density that might be exploited, such as by using black holes, which only minimally effects Green (perhaps showing an effective difference between mass of attraction and mass of inertia).
| *G/G* style="text-align: center; background-color:black; color:white" | n/a
| *G/Y* style="text-align: center; background-color:gray" | ''See Y/B+G'' 
| *G/R* style="text-align: center; background-color:gray" | See R/G
|-
! style="background-color:lightblue" | Blue
| *B/B* style="text-align: center; background-color:black; color:white" | n/a
| *B/G* style="text-align: center; background-color:gray" | See G/B
| *B/Y* style="text-align: center; background-color:gray" | See Y/B+G
| *B/R* style="text-align: center; background-color:gray" | See R/B
|}

Even when not strictly necessary for one's own submission, once submitted into the full playing grid the player's own contribution may find itself working with less 'pure' delivered ball-streams (from an imperfectly separating feed-in contribution). It is possible that this more interactive disruption can make the new setup behave erratically or even entirely incorrectly.

It might be thought good practice (but not ''necessary'') to deliberately combine any or all inputs and do a full job of splitting them again, just in anticipation of possibly having to deal with such cross-contamination and being able to 'clean up' the onward stream(s) for the benefit of others. This would of course be particularly difficult if the isolated building-phase does not provide all four hues to 'test' against, so any speculatively added filtering would have to be added 'blind' (and only on the offchance that any anticipated incorrect balls will actually enter the arena) and without any legitimate exits to which such rejects could be shunted (therefore could accumulate, up until any 'time out' that might apply to any ball once operational as part of the combined grid).

Single-input/single-output designs might not particularly require ''any'' sorting mechanism, in theory, though the unexpected 'contamination' of the system with balls of different masses/etc could perhaps introduce malfunctioning passage from the added chaos it might succumb to.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Finish transcribing the comic!}}

:[The placeholder image shows four balls, colored red, green, yellow and blue, bouncing on top of three white blocks. Text in the center: "[visit xkcd.com to view]"]

:[In the game, colored balls fall out of rotating half-gears that spawn at random from the wall and/or ceiling while an opposite set of half-gears that spawn on the bottom (always) and sides (sometimes) rotate with a colored triangle pointing to that intersection of said set of gears. There is a button that says "view machine" button in the bottom right corner. When clicked, it takes you to a larger grid of others' machines that you can view in a larger grid. There is another button with a wrench which is a menu that gives you tools and decorations to move the balls to the set of gears with the colored corresponding triangle.

:[Cueball with lab coat, intro popup]
:Cueball: Balls falling into your cell should be routed to the outputs at a steady rate.

:[Cueball with lab coat, warning popup]
:Cueball: For security reasons, balls that remain in your device for more than 30 seconds will be removed and destroyed.

:[Cueball with lab coat, submit popup]
:Cueball: Congratulations! Your contraption has passed all tests. Press [submit button] to submit it to be added to the machine!

==Trivia==
This comic was released four days after April 1st, even though April 1st fell on a regular Monday release day. Its status as an April Fool's Day comic was confirmed when Randall posted a [https://www.facebook.com/TheXKCD/posts/pfbid0Cs97awQZi1ZiaEXouAex9tXrwAS3qJV3RmAiuCq5uvZQwqZVMgDmcqJ7JU9LYodYl link to this comic] on his [https://www.facebook.com/TheXKCD Facebook feed], in which he explicitly described it as a late April Fools' release, removing any ambiguity about its intended classification. Similar delays have occurred for April Fools' comics since [[Garden]]. Randall acknowledges the contributors who assisted with this comic in a [[Header_text#Machine|comic-specific header text]]. With eleven additional contributors besides Randall, it is the xkcd comic with the most collaborators to date.
[[File:2916 Machine Facebook April fools' confirmation.png]]

Several hidden keyboard shortcuts have been identified:
* Follow balls: <kbd>Ctrl</kbd> + <kbd>Alt/Option</kbd> + <kbd>B</kbd> (also accessible via the on-screen button)
* Show debug overlay: <kbd>Ctrl</kbd> + <kbd>Shift</kbd> + <kbd>Win/Cmd</kbd> + <kbd>D</kbd>, though this may conflict with certain browser shortcuts such as Firefox’s "New Bookmark" dialog
* Delete selected item: <kbd>Delete</kbd> (or <kbd>Fn</kbd> + <kbd>Delete</kbd> on Mac)
The [https://github.com/xkcd/incredible source code] for the comic was released on GitHub on May 8, 2024. chromakode, one of the developers, also published a [https://chromakode.com/post/xkcd-machine/ blog post] describing the design and development process.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:Comics with animation]]
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Knit Cap]]
[[Category:Characters with hats]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]
[[Category:Buns]]
[[Category:Cats]]
[[Category:Physics]]

2765: Escape Speed

2026-02-01T04:41:38Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: fixed number

{{comic
| number = 2765
| date = April 19, 2023
| title = Escape Speed
| image = escape_speed_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x700px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Gotta go fast.
}}
{{series
| series = April
| number = 15
| date = April 19, 2023
| days_late = 18
| day_category = Wednesday
| prev_title = 2601: Instructions
| prev_date = April 1, 2022
| next_title = 2916: Machine
| next_date = April 5, 2024
| extra_text = [[#Trivia|Learn why this comic was released late]].
}}
{{TOC}}To experience the interactivity of the game, visit the {{xkcd|2765|original comic}}!

== Explanation ==
{{notice|See [[#Spaceships]] to help complete this page.}}
This interactive comic is similar to [[2712: Gravity]], which celebrated the release of ''[[What If? 2]]'', as you can visit different planets. Your fuel runs out and recharges slowly over time or instantly whenever you land. Likewise, there is no "universal" point of view: the bottom of the window, "down", is oriented towards the object exerting the most gravity upon the player.

You begin on the Starting Planet, near Origin. To escape Origin's gravitational force, gain enough momentum by swinging a few times inside the large hidden tunnel that goes from the rollercoaster to the St. Louis Arch on the opposing side of the planet. However, note that it is possible to escape Origin’s gravitational pull by maneuvering the spacecraft counterclockwise around the Starting Planet, accelerating tangential to the surface above the figure yelling "WOW!". To help you find other planets there are also many small circles surrounding the spaceship indicating the locations of nearby or distant planets depending on how transparent these points are. Collecting circles with a star outline will improve the performance of the spaceship, such as by making the engine more efficient or increasing the rate at which the fuel recharges, and sometimes make you find a new item. Collecting small grey circles will instead just make you find an item, such as a rock with neat stripes, a cool bug, and a pretty leaf.

Most planets and celestial objects are inside of a large Crystal Sphere in which there is a visible navigable crack. Halfway through the crack, gravity gets increasingly stronger as the spaceship feels the gravitational force of the parts of the Crystal Sphere it is leaving behind. Above the crack in the Crystal Sphere, there is the Star Destroyer from [[1608: Hoverboard]], and on the opposite side of the crack, there is a huge part of the world in [[1110: Click and Drag]] in the form of a round planet.

The title of the comic is likely a reference to the 1996 computer game {{w|Escape Velocity (video game)|Escape Velocity}}, which also featured a 2D map dotted with planets. The title text says, "Gotta go fast.", a reference to {{w|Sonic the Hedgehog (character)|Sonic the Hedgehog}}'s catchphrase, and the point of the game: getting able to go faster to escape larger and larger planets and leave the Crystal Sphere.

===The Hyperdrive===
The Hyperdrive is a powerful upgrade to the spaceship that massively boosts your thrusters. It is found at the center of the Boston Planet and is needed to explore the planets outside the Crystal Sphere and to escape from the black hole inside the Subway Planet. It can only be unlocked after deactivating the MIT Cloaking Device on the Subway Planet and collecting three of the four subway tokens found at different "Bostons". Subway tokens are circles with a T outline, and they have a distinct color: "blue", "red", "green", and "orange", the four colors of {{w|MBTA subway|Boston's subway system}}. The blue token on the Boston Planet is not strictly necessary to get the Hyperdrive, although it is the easiest to obtain. Note that getting it will require several other upgrades first, so it shouldn't be your first objective. See [[#Celestial Bodies and Collectable Items|the table below]] for other ways to progress in the game.

Here's how to obtain the Hyperdrive:
# Get to the Subway Planet by launching from the bush where someone says "Shhh." on Origin. The Subway Planet features all the subways of North America except Boston, which has been ripped out and hidden by the MIT kids, leaving a big empty hole in the crust of the planet.
# Once on the Subway Planet, go to Morgantown, WV via Mexico City and Atlanta, and deactivate the MIT Cloaking Device to make the Boston Planet appear.
# Follow the two intangible grey lines that will first guide you to Origin and then the Roche Lobe Earth (one of the four Bostons) and collect the green subway token on it.
# Go back to Origin and collect the orange token on the Guitar Ship (see [[#Celestial Bodies and Collectable Items|the table below]] for instructions on how to find these planets).
# Get to the East Coast of the US on the Projection of Earth and collect the red token.
# Now that the center of the Boston Planet is accessible, go there and collect the Hyperdrive. The planet also contains the final blue token, but it's not necessary to get to the Hyperdrive.

===Extra Escape Speed pages===
Since this comic is so big and complicated, extra pages have been created to include much more information than is wished for on this main page. These pages are listed here for convenience, but they are also listed in the relevant sections below:

* '''[[2765: Escape Speed/Transcript]]''' - The full transcript of the entire comic, as if you played the game. It is linked from the [[#Transcript|Transcript section]].

* '''[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots]]''' - Full images of all planets and celestial bodies, as well as player screenshots of interesting situations.

* '''[[2765: Escape Speed/Tables]]''' - More detailed tables explaining all the jokes and references in the comic.

===Celestial Bodies and Collectable Items===
This is a table of all celestial bodies and items, in descending order of planet size (the Starting Planet, Origin, and the Hollow Planet are at the top for their relevance). Collectable items and messages are found in the "You found...", "Upgrades", "Messages" and "Subway tokens" columns. For more detailed and in-depth tables and lists, see [[2765: Escape Speed/Tables|here]]. Here are some other useful resources:

* [https://aeromancer.dev/xkcd/escape_speed/ Map of the entire universe created by the community];

* [[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots|Screenshots of the entire world, planets, and celestial bodies]] made using the map;

* [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1hygJKdwjkufAU3ZYC4NELdCX7XgRdOIW68vPUidR9qA Spreadsheet of all items and messages] from the game's source code;

* [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc Spreadsheet of coordinates for all celestial bodies] from the game's source code.

{| class="wikitable sortable"
! rowspan="2"|Name

<code>codename</code>
! rowspan="2"|Tiles (X, Y)
! rowspan="2"|Explanation
! colspan="4"|Collectable items and messages
|-
! You found...
! Upgrades
! Messages
! Subway tokens
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Starting Planet|Starting Planet]]

<code>tiny-world</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (6024, -8976)]
| To get here, click the "Home" button in the lower right corner of the comic.

The planet is tiny, grassy, and has few trees. [[Media:2765 Greetings.png|Beret Guy is saying "WOW!"]], but since he's on the other side of the planet, it looks like he is shouting "iMOM". This is a reference to the title text of [[1117: My Sky]], and it could also be a reference to [[502: Dark Flow]]. Pressing the "Home" button to go back to the starting planet shows the message, "Welcome back, pilot", which may be a reference to the greeting that plays when re-entering a Titan in the ''Titanfall'' video games.
|
* a rock with neat stripes
* a cool bug
* a pretty leaf
|
|
* Wheeee!
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Origin|Origin]]

<code>origin</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (3096, -5904)]
| To get here, launch from [[Media:2765 Greetings.png|Beret Guy saying "Wow!" on the Starting Planet]].

The planet has a [[Media:Origin Planet11.png|sign saying "Welcome to Origin! You can never leave™"]]. A [[Media:Origin and starting planet.png|large hidden tunnel inside it]] leads from below the rollercoaster to the [[Media:Origin Planet5.png|St. Louis Arch on the opposing side of the planet]], which you can use to gain enough momentum to escape the gravitational force if you don't have many upgrades. There are lots of landmarks and signs that mark the directions to different planets.
|
* a secret glade
* a holographic Charizard business card
* a 5G seagull
* a DVD of The Core (2003)
* a normal-looking leaf
* a marsh wren
* an orb wren
* a single grain of salt
* 11 squares packed into a larger square
* a tumbleweed
|
* Nice flying! (Your tanks recharge faster now.)
|
* You found a tiny meteorite!
* Welcome to liminal space
* The St. Louis arch is also known as the gateway to space.
* Be careful; this roller coaster can be disorienting!
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Hollow Planet|Hollow Planet]]

<code>hollow-shell</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (-13952, 1848)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Origin Planet5.png|St. Louis Arch on Origin]].

The planet is just a shell with some gaps. On the outside, there are lots of landmarks and signs that mark the directions to different planets.
|
|
* You found a handful of the quantum foam that makes up the fabric of space! (Your tanks recharge much faster now.)
* You found a sixth lagrange point! (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
* You found a glass of heavy water (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
|
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Star Destroyer|Star Destroyer]]

''from'' <code>star-destroyer-a</code> ''to'' <code>star-destroyer-i</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (18192, -130000)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:2765 Crack in the Crystal Sphere.png|crack in the Crystal Sphere]].

The planet has been copied from [[1608: Hoverboard]], with the only difference being that Darth Vader's dialogue was changed from referencing {{w|Steven Universe}} to {{w|The Murderbot Diaries}}.
|
* an unread email
* a glass slipper with a glass foot in it
* a lymphocyte
* a forged resume
* a serif
* a Bursa of Fabricius
* a cluster of data points
* a premium subscription to food
* two goats and a new car
* an out-of-control trolley
* a helium-238 nucleus
* the Death Star plans
|
* You found a perpetual motion fidget spinner! (Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.)
* You found a vintage Juicero juicer! (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
|
* Hmmm.
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Click and Drag Planet|Click and Drag Planet]]

<code>clickdrag-nw</code>'','' <code>clickdrag-ne</code>'','' <code>clickdrag-sw</code>'', and'' <code>clickdrag-se</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (-31808, 111808)]
| To get here, launch from the bow or stern of the Star Destroyer tangentially to the Crystal Sphere to orbit it and keep the stars in the background moving horizontally on the screen until you see a dot around the spaceship guiding you.

The planet has mostly been copied from [[1110: Click and Drag]] and modelled to form a round planet, so the drawings are very tiny. The large rocket has been changed from the original look, possibly as a reference to {{w|SpaceX}}. Originally, it had no gravity, and the spaceship was only attracted by the gravity of the Crystal Sphere. This made navigating around the planet difficult, so a later update added gravity to it to make it easier for players to explore it.
|
* an ant the size of Rhode Island
* a pin with 17 angels dancing on it
|
* The vehicle below gives you a boost (Your launch speed has increased.)
* We should turn back (Your engine gets a bit more powerful.)
* You found an expert at underwater ropes. (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
* You found a trisected angle! (Your launch speed has greatly increased.)
|
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Subway Planet|Subway Planet]]

<code>subway-planet</code> ''and'' <code>black-hole-3</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (22000, 34000)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Origin Planet10.png|bush where someone says "Shhh." on Origin]].

The planet is a reference to [[1196: Subways]] and is riddled with tunnels. Boston has been ripped out and hidden by the MIT kids, leaving a big empty hole in the crust of the planet, and there is a black hole at the center that can only be escaped with the [[#Hyperdrive|Hyperdrive]]. You need to find the switch that turns off the MIT Cloaking Device to help you get the Hyperdrive. Once found, two intangible grey lines will appear (on the Subway Planet and on Origin), guiding you to one of the four Bostons. Learn how to obtain and use the Hyperdrive [[#Hyperdrive|here]].
|
* a relativistic bowling ball
* a Cybiko® wireless handheld computer for teens (2000)
* a handful of quantum foam
* a normal-sized apple
|
* You get the feeling you're not in Kansas anymore (Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.)
* There is no parking in the white zone (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
* The next stop is Interplanetary Terminal G (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
* You feel accomplished (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
* You found a brightly-lit billboard (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
* You found a hot dog (Your launch speed has increased.)
* You found a bottle of Coke Absolute Zero! (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
* You found a beige electron! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
* You found $30 in Yahoo! cash! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
* You found a friendly cat! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
|
* Transfer here for Mornington Crescent
|
* MIT Cloaking Device deactivated! Boston detected. (Blue, red, green, and orange lines activated.)
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Boston Planet|Boston Planet]]

<code>mbta</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (-42000, 8000)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Shuttle Skeleton.png|back of the Shuttle Skeleton]].

The planet is the Boston subway system that was ripped out from the Subway Planet by the MIT kids. The Hyperdrive, needed to explore the planets outside the Crystal Sphere, is at the center of the planet, which is only accessible after getting the green, red and orange subway tokens. The blue token is not strictly necessary to get the Hyperdrive, although it is the easiest to obtain. If the player goes to the location of the Boston Planet before turning off the MIT Cloaking Device, they will only find an invisible region out in space that has gravity, at the center of which a "strangely heavy subway token" can be found. The gravitational force around it remains even after the token is collected. As hinted by Blondie on Andal, the MIT Cloaking Device doesn't affect gravity, therefore the cloaked Boston planet is intangible and invisible, but its mass still affects the gravitational field around it.
|
* a strangely heavy subway token
|
|
|
* Blue line deactivated!
* Welcome to MIT! You acquired a hyperdrive!
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Projection of Earth|Projection of Earth]]

<code>earth-map</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (-15808, 22192)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Origin Planet13.png|Earth map landmark on Origin]] or the [[Media:Hollow Planet3.png|sign on the Hollow Planet]].

The planet is a huge, distorted map of all land masses on Earth. The spaceship can fly where water would be, but it can't go over land. This planet is a reference to the [[:Category:Bad Map Projections|Bad Map Projections series]] of comics.
|
* the Heart of the Ocean
* a whale shark
* some microbial life
* some tin from the pantai remis mine
* a sparkling gem
* a piece of pumice
|
* You found the Principality of Sealand! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
* You found a Rhode Island the size of an ant! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
* You found an icosahedral d10 (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
|
|
* Red line deactivated!
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#What If? Planet|What If? Planet]]

<code>gravity-earth</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (-46000, -24000)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Origin Planet7.png|two people explaining where Boston is on Origin]], the [[Media:Round Planet5.png|left of Stonehenge on the Round Planet]], or the [[Media:Guitar Ship1.png|left rim of the Guitar Ship]].

The planet contains several scenes from Randall's ''[[What If? 2]]'' book and the comic [[2712: Gravity]]. Megan and Cueball are floating inside a small space in the center of the planet, which can be reached after getting the Hyperdrive. This is arguably the most remote object within the Crystal Sphere, since all the planets around it are very distant from it. On this planet, a person named Ryan is stuck in a small hole with a dog, a reference to [https://www.polygon.com/2015/8/18/9173621/ryan-north-stuck-hole-twitter a real event] that happened to [https://www.qwantz.com/ Dinosaur Comics] author {{w|Ryan North}}. Nearby is featured the T-rex from his iconic comic strip, in the pose of the last panel.
|
* an eye in the sky
* a stick
* an asterisk
* a sterile neutrino
* a secret leaf
* a pair of squirrel goggles
* a large hadron
* a smooth green snake
|
* You found a sunken treasure (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
* The Yellowstone Super What? (Your launch speed has increased.)
* Nutritional Facts - Serving Size: 1 Cloud, Total Calories: 0 (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
* You captured the flag! You decide to leave it there, but it's yours. (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
* You found a steam calliope! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
* You found a dna base pair! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
|
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Uzumaki|Uzumaki]]

<code>uzumaki</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (-3904, -26904)]
| To get here, launch from [[Media:Origin Planet9.png|the spiral landmark on Origin]], the [[Media:Hollow Planet.png|sign on the Hollow Planet]], or below the [[Media:Round Planet2.png|plane-towed banner on the Round Planet]].

The planet is a large spiral of grass inspired by the manga ''{{w|Uzumaki}}'' by {{w|Junji Ito}}. A Roomba is loose, a reference to [[1558: Vet]].
|
* a golden radio tuned to 1.618 MHz
* a scroll lock key
* a primordial black hole
* a cool pair of shoes with flames on the side
* an ink cartridge
* a podcast episode
* a festive but somehow unnerving holiday card from Junji Ito
* a friendly bee
* a spiral-cut diamond
* a burrito
|
* You found a tree-filled grove and a nice spot for quiet contemplation (Your thrusters are significantly more efficient now.)
* You found a single caffeine molecule! (Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.)
|
* Exit Only
* You're going the wrong way!
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Round Planet|Round Planet]]

<code>orb</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (-19154, -7288)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Origin Planet6.png|tower with an orb on it on Origin]] or the [[Media:Hollow Planet1.png|sign on the Hollow Planet]].

The planet is moderately small with no vegetation and some architecture, such as [[Media:Round Planet5.png|Stonehenge]] and the [[Media:Round Planet8.png|Great Wall of China]].
|
* a swatch pop-out wristwatch
|
* You found a sensible cheese platter (Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.)
* ''[no message]'' (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
|
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Jurassic Park Planet|Jurassic Park Planet]]

<code>gravity-qwantz</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (20000, 11000)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Origin Planet3.png|small dinosaur on Origin]] or the [[Media:Andal4.png|Andalites on Andal]].

The planet is covered in dinosaurs from [https://www.qwantz.com Dinosaur Comics] and has very weak gravity. It is an exact copy of the Dinosaur Planet from [[2712: Gravity]].
|
* a tiny pteranodon
* a baby hedgehog
* a tattered knapsack containing about $194,00 in $20 bills
|
* Today is a good day I think for space exploration (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
* But what if gravity doesn't actually exist? (Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.)
|
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Andal|Andal]]

<code>platform-planet</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (12048, 14048)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Origin Planet3.png|Andal landmark to the left of the pyramids on Origin]] or [[Media:Origin Planet4.png|below Saturn's equator on Origin]], when the soccer ball is oriented to the bottom left compared to the spaceship.

The planet is small and has a T-shaped tower, mountains, and grass.
|
|
* You found two Andalites, one canonical! (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
* What a nice place for a ship to sit! (Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.)
* You found a friend (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
* You found baby shoes (and baby)! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
|
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Comet 67P|Comet 67P]]

<code>67p</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (18048, -11152)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Origin Planet3.png|duck next to the "Caution: long vertical drop" sign on Origin]].

The planet is a reference to the comet {{w|67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko}} and contains the crashed Rosetta spacecraft, along with the Philae lander that landed on it in 2014. The message "Anyone for Scrabble later?" on the planet is a reference to [[470: The End is Not for a While]].
|
|
* Some people believe that when the Earth appears in the sky, it's a harbinger of doom. (Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.)
* You found a broken smoke machine (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
* Anyone for Scrabble later? (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
* You found The Long Now Foundation's nickel paperweight containing an archive of every published Animorphs book! (Your launch speed has increased.)
|
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Guitar Ship|Guitar Ship]]

<code>guitar-ship</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (-12000, -30000)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Origin Planet8.png|musicians singing "It's more than a feeling" on Origin]].

The planet is a huge guitar labeled "Boston", with the city skyline under a dome on the back. It is a reference to the cover art of the album {{w|Boston (album)|''Boston''}}.
|
* a guitar pick
|
|
|
* Orange line deactivated!
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Saturn|Saturn]]

<code>saturn</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (2600, 14000)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Origin Planet4.png|pyramid with Saturn on it on Origin]]. If you see the Spacetime Soccer Field, you're too far left.

The planet has a soccer ball inside it, a reference to [[2513: Saturn Hexagon]].
|
* a really cool data point
|
* You found a pair of platonic solids, not quite touching! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
* You found a block of scandium! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
|
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Roche Lobe Earth|Roche Lobe Earth]]

<code>earth-roche</code> ''and'' <code>normal-moon</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (-9952, -3952)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Origin Planet6.png|landmark that looks like a very round cannon firing a cannon ball towards the towers on Origin]].

The planet is a distorted Earth being attracted by the gravity of the moon, which makes the Earth look like a giant drop of water. See ''{{w|Roche Lobe}}'' for more information.
|
* a curious humboldt squid
* a bathyscaphe
* a wayward Roomba full of moondust
|
|
|
* Green line deactivated!
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Giant Spider|Giant Spider]]

<code>spider</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (26982, -8714)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Origin Planet1.png|spider landmark on Origin]].

The object is a giant spider floating in space with eight people standing on top of his legs.
|
* a spider-silk scarf
|
* You found a friendly jumping spider (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
|
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Dark Matter Planet|Dark Matter Planet]]

<code>dark-matter</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (-2892, 2640)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Spacetime Soccer Field1.png|goal on the half of the field with just one person on it on Spacetime Soccer Field]].

The planet is small and grey, and it has the words "Dark matter" inside. On its surface, there are two squirrels and Ponytail exclaiming "I found it!", a reference to [[2186: Dark Matter]]).
|
|
* You found a delicate music box. (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
|
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Shuttle Skeleton|Shuttle Skeleton]]

<code>space-shuttle</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (-30200, 14576)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Origin Planet5.png|Shuttle Skeleton landmark on Origin]] or Northwest from Alaska on the Projection of Earth.

The object is a reference to the Space Shuttle Skeleton from [[2630: Shuttle Skeleton]].
|
* a piece of space shuttle food
|
* A little upgrade works wonders on fuel efficiency (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
|
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Diffraction Spikes Star|Diffraction Spikes Star]]

<code>diffraction</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (-19944, 11240)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Origin Planet5.png|back of the left "hand" of the Shuttle Skeleton]] or the north of Alaska on the Projection of Earth.

The object is a tangible spiky star, a reference to [[2762: Diffraction Spikes]].
|
* a hydrogen ion

* a piece of coronium (iron)
|
|
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#SafetySat|SafetySat]]

<code>safetysat</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (17024, 1024)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Origin Planet2.png|cell tower on Origin]].

The object is a reference to [[1992: SafetySat]].
|
* a first of its kind
|
* ''[no message]'' (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
* The more refined oil had a dinner engagement (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
|
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Spacetime Soccer Field|Spacetime Soccer Field]]

<code>soccerfield</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (6048, 4048)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Origin Planet4.png|pyramid with a soccer ball on it on Origin]].

The planet is reference to [[2705: Spacetime Soccer]] and consists of a central white body, goals on the poles, and intangible lines farther away.
|
|
* GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
* GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
* You found the 3 million point line (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
* You found a sunspot! (Your launch speed has increased.)
|
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Voyager 1|Voyager 1]]

<code>voyager-1</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (1606, -14282)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Origin Planet9.png|communication device saying "Receiving transmission" near the spiral landmark on Origin]].

The object is a satellite flying in space around Origin. It's a recreation of the {{w|Voyager 1}} space probe.
|
|
* You found Voyager 1! Some of its great speed rubs off on you. (Your engine thrust has increased significantly.)
|
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Voyager 2|Voyager 2]]

<code>voyager-2</code>
| [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc/edit?gid=0#gid=0 (10682, -5172)]
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Origin Planet1.png|communication device saying "Receiving transmission" near the spider landmark on Origin]].

The object is a satellite flying in space around Origin. It's a recreation of the {{w|Voyager 2}} space probe.
|
|
* You found Voyager 2! Some of its great speed rubs off on you. (Your engine thrust has increased significantly.)
|
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Crystal Sphere|Crystal Sphere]]

''from'' <code>ring-1</code> ''to'' <code>ring-36</code>
|
| To get here, launch from anywhere and keep avoiding planets until you hit it.

Most planets and celestial objects are inside of a large Crystal Sphere, in which there is a visible navigable crack. Halfway through the crack, gravity gets increasingly stronger as the spaceship feels the gravitational force of the entire Crystal Sphere. Despite a person on Origin saying that "there's no way you'd be able to escape [the Crystal Sphere's] gravitation pull. You'd need some kind of a Hyperdrive for that", it's actually possible to get out of the Crystal Sphere without the Hyperdrive (but the spaceship won't be able to stay in the air for more than a second without being pulled back). You can also escape by going fast enough and ramming through. Above the crack, there is an arch made up of the repeating words "The End", which is reminiscent of the "Don't leave the play area" message in [[1608: Hoverboard]] that appeared when the player tried to get out of it. A crystal sphere was previously mentioned in [[1189: Voyager 1]] and [[2121: Light Pollution]].

|
* a necklace of element samples whose symbols spell out your name
* the platinum cylinder formerly used to define the kilogram
|
* A significant boost to the engines for a curious pilot (Your engine thrust has increased significantly.)
* You found the gold crown Archimedes stole! (Your engine thrust has increased significantly.)
|
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Crack in the Crystal Sphere|Crack in the Crystal Sphere]]
|
| To get here, launch from the [[Media:Origin Planet9.png|two characters talking about "shooting for the Moon" on Origin]] or the [[Media:Hollow Planet.png|"Exit" sign on the Hollow Planet]].

This section of the Crystal Sphere was violently removed, similarly to how Boston was ripped out from the Subway Planet, leaving jagged edges and construction materials visible. Judging by the shape of the edges of the crack, it doesn't look like the Crystal Sphere is made of crystal. As noticed by Ponytail in the Hollow Planet, when the player is inside the Crystal Sphere, they don't feel a gravitational pull from the huge structure, but when they're outside, the spaceship feels the gravitational force of all the celestial bodies it is leaving behind, resulting in an very strong pull towards the interior of the Crystal Sphere. Above the crack, there is an arch made up of the repeating words "The End", which is reminiscent of the "Don't leave the play area" message in [[1608: Hoverboard]] that appeared when the player tried to get out of it. The Crystal Sphere may be a reference to {{w|The Crystal Spheres}}, a short story by science fiction author David Brin which suggests that each star with habitable planets in the universe is surrounded by a crystal sphere that can be broken only from the inside and is otherwise completely impenetrable.
|
|
* There is a way out (Your launch speed has increased.)
|
* Right lane must turn right
* Left lane must turn left
|
|-
! 
[[2765: Escape Speed/Screen-shots#Open Space Outside the Crystal Sphere|Open Space Outside the Crystal Sphere]]
|
|To get here, go through the Crack in the Crystal Sphere or try to no-clip the sphere by going faster than the loading speed/very slowly sinking into the ground. (both require speed)
|
|
* It is very lonely out here (Your tanks recharge much faster now.)
* You found a needle in a haystack (Your engine gets a little more powerful.)
* From here you can view the source of it all. (Your thrusters are more efficient now.)
|
|}

===Spaceships===
{{incomplete|Need to:
*Upload the files of the spaceships, in the best resolution available (Click on the '''<code>filename</code>''', download it, and then click the red link.)

*Describe them better and explain how to obtain them.

*Reorder them in a way that makes sense, and add an introduction to the table explaining how spaceships work in the comic (How do you get them? Can you pick and choose them?, etc.) }}
These are the available (???) spaceships. To change them manually, right click outside the comic image and then select "Inspect". Then, go to the "Console" tab at the top and copy and paste this into the console: (Put the ship name in between the quote marks.)
Comic.ship = ""

{| class="wikitable sortable"
! Name !! Image !! '''<code>codename</code>''' !! Explanation
|-
! Paper Plane
| [[File:Paper Plane.png]]
| <code>[https://xkcd.com/2765/assets/0/ships/paperplane/landed.png paperplane]</code>
| changes the spaceship into a paper plane.
|-
! Default Ship
| [[File:Default Ship.png]]
| <code>[https://xkcd.com/2765/assets/0/ships/bubble/landed.png bubble]</code>
| The default spaceship.
|-
! Default Ship 2
| [[File:Default Ship 2.png]]
| <code>[https://xkcd.com/2765/assets/0/ships/ship1/landed.png ship1]</code>
| The default spaceship from "Gravity", available only if you inspect the website as described above.
|-
! Small Bubble
| [[File:Small Bubble.png]]
| <code>[https://xkcd.com/2765/assets/0/ships/small-bubble/landed.png small-bubble]</code>
| A smaller version of the default spaceship.
|-
! USS Enterprise
| [[File:USS Enterprise.png]]
| <code>[https://xkcd.com/2765/assets/0/ships/carriagereturn/landed.png carriagereturn]</code>
| The USS Enterprise from [[:Category:Star Trek]], presumably a pun on "Enter".
|-
! Flyable Lamp
| [[File:Flyable Lamp.png]]
| <code>[https://xkcd.com/2765/assets/0/ships/lamp/landed.png lamp]</code>
| A lamp that shoots light down/up/left/right.
|-
! Flyable Lamp 2
| [[File:Flyable Lamp 2.png]]
| <code>[https://xkcd.com/2765/assets/0/ships/lamp/landed.png lampacity]</code>
| Also a lamp?
|}

==Hacks==
Some of the modes and hacks from [[2712: Gravity]] also work in this comic and can be activated by opening the browser console (F12, Ctr+Shift+I or Cmd+Option+I to open your browser's developer tools, then choose the "Console" tab) and typing a command.
{{cot|Hacks}}
* <code>python("import antigravity")</code> flips the gravitational pull. It's a reference to comic [[353: Python]].
* <code>noclip = true</code> disables collision detection.
* <code>Comic.gravityConstant = 0</code> turns gravity off (default is 100).
* <code>Comic.voyager.opts.speed = 0.1</code> increases engine power (default is 0.04).
* <code>Comic.voyager.opts.thrustDuration = 1000</code> provides extra fuel (default is 3.5).
* <code>Comic.voyager.opts.turnSpeed = 0.008</code> increases your turning speed (default is 0.002).
* <code>[Comic.voyager.pos.x, Comic.voyager.pos.y] = [1177, 6755]</code> teleports the spaceship to Saturn ([https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1xhw3oVb4fMktZB_KEIF9fGkYCkfbpRMHKBLI63laTgc Coordinates list].)
* <code>Comic.map.items</code> is an array of the findable items, and <code>Comic.map.locations</code> is an array of places.
* <code>ship.engines = "infinite improbability drive"</code> moves the spaceship to random locations, in a reference to the Heart of Gold from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
* <code>ze.goggles()</code> once again prints "they do nothing!"
* <code>ship.shields = false</code> turns the entire screen black when you collide with something.

[[User:CruseCtrl|CruseCtrl]]'s wayfinder adds a blue dot to show where the nearest collectable is.
Paste this into the JavaScript console:

const waypointDiv = document.createElement("div");
waypointDiv.style = "position: absolute; left: 50%; top: 50%; width: 6px; height: 6px; background: blue; border-radius: 99px;";
document.getElementById("comic").appendChild(waypointDiv);
const findClosestObject = (voyager, xPos, yPos) => {
let bestDist = Infinity;
let bestObject = null;
for (const object of voyager.objects.filter((o) => !voyager.gotObjects.has(o.id) && o.visible?.())) {
const dist = Math.sqrt((xPos - (object.x1 + object.x2) / 2) ** 2 + (yPos - (object.y1 + object.y2) / 2) ** 2);
if (dist < bestDist) {
bestDist = dist;
bestObject = object;
}
}
return { object: bestObject, dist: bestDist };
};
const everyFrame = function (state) {
const { object, dist } = findClosestObject(Comic.voyager, state.x, state.y);
if (!object) {
waypointDiv.style.display = "none";
return;
}
const objectX = (object.x1 + object.x2) / 2;
const objectY = (object.y1 + object.y2) / 2;
const angleToObject = Math.atan2(objectY - state.y, objectX - state.x);
const waypointAngle = angleToObject + Comic.voyager.cameraAngle;
const waypointDistance = 10 + 2 * dist ** (1 / 3);
const waypointX = Math.cos(waypointAngle) * waypointDistance;
const waypointY = Math.sin(waypointAngle) * waypointDistance;
waypointDiv.style.transform = `translate(${waypointX}px, ${waypointY}px)`;
};
const oldOnFrame = Comic.onFrame.bind(Comic);
Comic.onFrame = function (...args) { everyFrame(...args); oldOnFrame(...args); };

The following script stops the momentum of the spaceship, which can be useful after seeing a planet without being able to slow down in time:
window.onkeydown = function(e){if(e.key == 'p'){Comic.gameHandle.playerConfig.maxSpeed = 0; setTimeout(() => {Comic.gameHandle.playerConfig.maxSpeed = 100;},10)}}
{{cob}}

== Transcript ==
:'''[This transcript only covers the starting page as shown on {{xkcd|2765|xkcd.com}}. A full transcript of the entire comic can be found [[2765: Escape Speed/Transcript|here]].]'''

:[What is shown on xkcd it what is known as the Starting planet. It is a small planet. On top of it is a small spaceship standing on two legs. It has a circular shape on top of the legs with a round window. Next to it is a small tree which is higher than the spaceship. This is the spaceship to be controlled by the user. The planet has grass all around, and the entire planet is visible. But the ship is in the center, so most of the planet is in the lover part of the panel. The background around the planet is a star-studded black backdrop. Going around the planet to clockwise from the small tree, there are two more trees with some small bushes between the first small tree and the two next trees. A larger tree is on the opposite part of the planet. Between the two trees and this there is a small bush and the Beret Guy who looks and point up from his point of view (down as seen in the image as he is on the opposite side). He is exclaiming a word. After the largest tree next to him, come a small tree. Before that Cueball and Megan stand together. On the last part back to the spaceship there is another small bush. There are also four gray dots. One above the spaceship. One between the first three and the two. One above the largest of the two trees together. And the final near the bush to the left of the spaceship. Those four dots are part of the game and can be removed if the ship touches them. In the bottom right corner of the panel there is a small white square with a black house drawn upon it. There are two small black dots beneath it. A curved arrow goes below the house from the right to the left dot. This is the home button that will always take the player back to this starting window. To the very right of the panel on height with the spaceship there is a white bar about three times the height of the spaceship. This bar indicates how much energy the spaceship has. It always refuels immediately after landing anywhere.]
:Beret Guy: Wow!
:[As Beret Guy is upside down, so is his words. They can thus easily be read as MOM as they are written, as always, in all caps.]

:[As part of the game there are messages appearing the first time you enter the comic, and every time you return to home of to the comic from another comic. Although they are not part of the image, they do appear on the home image. These messages appear as black text in a rectangular white panel with a black border. The messages are only on screen for a short time. On a mobile phone browser "Use the arrow keys" is "Tap the sides of your screen". The three situations follow here:]

:[First time opening the game in a new browser there are two messages one appearing after the other:]
:Greetings!
:Use the arrow keys, pilot.

:[When pressing the home button only one message appears:]
:Welcome back, pilot.

:[When reloading or going to the page after having been in another page or having shut down the program and opening again, there will be two messages:]
:Welcome back! We saved your progress.
:Use the arrow keys, pilot.

:[When moving past the grey dots text is revealed in a similar manner to the greetings text. If it is items, then they are collected and listed beneath the panel under the heading "You've found:" A bulleted list will then start to grow beneath this as you play the game and collect items.]

:'''[For more transcripts from the rest of the game go to the [[2765: Escape Speed/Transcript|full transcript page]].]'''

== Trivia ==
This was the most delayed [[April Fools' Day comics|April Fools' Day comic]] so far, as it was 18 days overdue. When it was released, unlike [[1663: Garden]], there was no mention of April fools' Day. The comic [[2757: Towed Message]] was released closest to April 1st on Friday March 31st, and the following comic, [[2758: My Favorite Things]], was released on schedule on Monday April 3rd. This comic was so delayed that it was not released until Wednesday April 19th, which led to some debate in whether this was meant to be an April Fools' Day comic. On May 15th, 2023, [https://chromakode.com/ Max Goodhart], aka Chromakode, published an article titled "[https://chromakode.com/post/xkcd-gravity-escape-speed/ Development notes from xkcd's "Gravity" and "Escape Speed"]". Max was one of the developers for this comic and the earlier [[2712: Gravity]], and was credited in the [[Header text#Escape Speed|header text of this comic]]. At the top of the article, he writes "On April 20th, xkcd published Escape Speed, the 14th annual April Fools comic we've made together". This settled the debate, as it was now clear that this was meant to be the April Fools' Day comic of the year. This [[explain xkcd]] explanation is the most-categorised page on the wiki.{{acn}}

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with animation]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Blondie]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Knit Cap]]
[[Category:Characters with hats]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]] 
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Spiders]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]
[[Category:Dinosaurs]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Robots]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Volcanoes]]
[[Category:Space probes]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Aviation]]
[[Category:Airplane banner]]
[[Category:Book promotion]]
[[Category:The Core]]
[[Category:Animorphs]]
[[Category:Stilts]]
[[Category:What If?]]

2601: Instructions

2026-02-01T04:40:02Z

Qwertyuiopfromdefly: corrected factoid about instructions being the first comic with audio

{{comic
| number = 2601
| date = April 1, 2022
| title = Instructions
| image = instructions.png
| titletext = Happy little turtles
}}
{{series
| series = April
| number = 14
| date = April 1, 2022
| days_late =
| day_category = Friday
| prev_title = 2445: Checkbox
| prev_date = April 1, 2021
| next_title = 2765: Escape Speed
| next_date = April 19, 2023
| extra_text =
}}
{{TOC}}To experience the interactivity of the game, visit the {{xkcd|2601|original comic}}!

==Explanation==
The comic displays just a small {{w|radio button}} (or option button). Once pressed the [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/2/20/2601_Instructions_Radio_on.png button turns blue] and this starts the real part of this April fool's comic. The comic consists of an [https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=0 audio file]. The speech is a mix of [[#Facts|facts about turtles]] and coding instructions in {{w|Logo_(programming_language)|LOGO}}. When executed, the instructions draw an xkcd comic. The audio file is 9 hours and 7 minutes long. Usually, there would be more than one radio button to give the user the ability to select options. Once it has been selected it cannot be deselected.

[[File:xkcd 2601 finished comic animation.gif|thumb|300px|Click to view the animation of the code running to create the picture, sourced from the GitHub.]]
See the [[#Resulting image|resulting comic]] below and an [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/0/05/xkcd_2601_finished_comic_animation.gif animation of the drawing process]. This has been compiled by [https://github.com/theinternetftw/xkcd2601#transcription-complete theinternetftw on GitHub].
*The transcript of the quotes (the non-code) can be found here [[2601: Instructions/Audio Transcript]].
*Images of the dynamic changes and other pictures relating to this comic can be found here [[2601: Instructions/Images]].

Once the voice begins describing the instructions, it is possible to mute the audio by pressing a [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/2/20/2601_Instructions_Radio_on.png muted button] at the bottom right of the screen. This fades into view when the radio button is pushed. Pressing it will change the button to a [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/7/78/2601_Instructions_Radio_on_muted.png non muted loudspeaker]. These were the same buttons that were in the previous April fool's comic [[2445: Checkbox]]. That was the second xkcd [[:Category:Comics with audio|comic with audio]], and thus these were two April Fools' Day comics with audio in a row, and these are the only comics with audio. In the Checkbox comic, the mute buttons meaning are reversed, so the sound is on when the loudspeaker is shown and muted when the mute button is shown. It could be another layer to the April fool's joke or just an error by Randall.

The [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/archive/e/e3/20220402201427%21instructions.png image originally displayed] on this page was of a small turtle crawling in the center where the radio button is in the real comic. That was the image that would be downloaded by web crawlers like explain xkcd's bot, as it is what was placed here on xkcd: https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/instructions_2x.png. This is of course not the real comic, which cannot be downloaded in that manner.

The "turtle" is a key concept in Logo, a programming language especially designed to teach programming to children in an easy way. The turtle in the logo is the cursor. Programming commands move the turtle, drawing a line as it goes. Of course, listening to hours of instructions, including the speech-synthesized reading of source code, is not an easy way to code or draw a picture.{{cn}}

In addition, at [https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=32817 the end of the audio] the voice says:
{{Quote|I even talk to turtles at times, but you need to understand LOGO to appreciate the great, great things that have been created. We spend so much of our life typing, looking, but never ever seeing.}}

The title text alludes to {{w|Bob Ross}}'s catchphrase "happy little trees" in ''{{w|The Joy of Painting}}'', a PBS TV show in which Ross leads the viewer through the painting of a nature scene. The audio file itself is also presented in the style of ''The Joy of Painting''; it begins with greeting the viewer and introducing the color palette to be used (just one color, in this case, as Logo and all computer monitors of the time were monochrome). The speaker then reads out some helper functions to be used in programming the scene, which is more analogous to Ross's palette of paints (titanium white, carmine red, etc.) along with words of encouragement as each is completed. The functions are DIST, to calculate the {{w|Euclidean distance}} between two points, LERP, to perform {{w|linear interpolation}}, MIX to average two numbers (with LERP), and CUBIC to draw {{w|cubic Hermite spline}}s. From there, the speaker alternates between sketching parts of the scene and offering more words of encouragement, mixed in with turtle facts.

Transcribing the audio into text was organized as a [https://github.com/theinternetftw/xkcd2601 project on GitHub]. This is not the first time that Randall made an interactive comic where turtles played a big part. In [[1416: Pixels]], he jokes with the idea of turtles all the way down, which is [https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=10403 also mentioned] in the audio file, and in [[3074: Push Notifications]], mapping out the coordinates sent via the notifications generates [[3074:_Push_Notifications#Notifications|a pixelated drawing of a turtle and a squirrel]]. He also made a comic simply called [[889: Turtles]].

===Resulting image===
[[File:xkcd 2601 finished picture.png|900px|center]]

The image drawn by the Logo program is a depiction of {{w|Bob Ross}} standing in front of a canvas, on which he has painted "a happy little tree, holding up a happy little world". However, unlike his usual "happy little trees", the tree depicted is not a small pine, but rather a gargantuan {{w|World Tree}} growing from the back of a giant {{w|World Turtle}}, on which a {{w|Flat Earth}} rests. (The "happy little world" does bear several small pines more typical of his style.) Several ornaments hang from the World Tree, referencing the common practice of hanging ornaments on {{w|Christmas trees}}.

Near the middle of the world, a Cueball sits while listening to the radio, perhaps tuning in to the same transmission that generated the image. Closer to the reader, a turtle is shown walking around, leaving dotted-line tracks behind it, suggestive of the Logo turtle. The dotted-line tracks spell out "TY", shorthand for "thank you" (presumably directed to the readers).

At the far top right, a dotted line is shown past which the words "vacuum decay" are written. This is a hypothetical effect in which the universe, being in a {{w|metastable}} state, decays to a true vacuum, and the resulting annihilation of everything expands at the speed of light. As such, humans would have no idea if there were an approaching false vacuum until it arrived at Earth.

At the far left of the image, a robot and human are drawn next to a turtle which has flipped onto its back. The robot declares, "Poor thing!" while the human says "I'll help". This is a reference to the "empathy tests" employed to distinguish humans from androids in ''{{w|Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?}}'' and its film adaptation ''{{w|Blade Runner}}''. As part of the test, the listener is asked to imagine being in the desert, flipping a tortoise onto its back, and refusing to turn it back over, while their eyes are monitored for signs of emotional response (or lack thereof). In this case, the robot expresses sympathy for the turtle and the human declares that he will turn it back over. (In this case, however, the robot is very clearly distinguishable from a human being.)

===Facts===
These are the facts told by the speaker.
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|Merriam-Webster defines a turtle as a noun.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=569
|-
|Here are some interesting notes from interesting facts about turtles.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=962
|-
|Over a great many years, I have taken a great interest in the land turtle.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=973
|-
|One of the interesting points about turtles is their great variety of foods.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=1415
|-
|in the pen and in five minutes it is surrounded by the turtles,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=1976
|-
|when I found one of the large turtles had caught and disemboweled, the very large toad,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=2648
|-
|I have seen turtles eating at 11:00 at night
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=2655
|-
|the youngest of turtles I have ever had seems to take to the same food as the adults
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=3506
|-
|I made friends with a turtle yesterday and he gave me his phone number.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=4283
|-
|Running away is slow as compared to this turtle propulsion.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=4522
|-
|Occasionally one can see a turtle dragging another one along
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=5370
|-
|I have never known a land turtle to bite
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=5382
|-
|Some people have turtles in their cellars believing that they catch rats and mice.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=5853
|-
|I believe that these turtles died because they were exhausted
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=5879
|-
|and mice might be kept away by the noise made by the turtle making its endless
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6151
|-
|But doubt whether a turtle could catch a rat or a mouse
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6158
|-
|In this, the turtles would enjoy themselves
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6437
|-
|How about some interesting things in 10 facts about marine turtles from the WWF UK.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6622
|-
|There are seven species of marine turtle.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6628
|-
|Marine turtles were around more than 100
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6632
|-
|These days, scientists recognize seven species of marine turtle,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6638
|-
|turtles do not have teeth.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=6890
|-
|Turtle shells are made of over 50 bones fused together.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=7064
|-
|The first few years of a marine turtle's life are known as the lost years.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=7352
|-
|Marine turtle species vary greatly in size.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=7654
|-
|Wales holds the world record for the largest marine turtle ever found
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=7675
|-
|1000 marine turtle hatchlings make it to adulthood.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=8216
|-
|turtles seem to prefer red, orange, and yellow food.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=10106
|-
|I'm beginning to suspect it's turtles all the way down
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=10403
|-
|marine turtles can migrate incredibly long distances.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=10623
|-
|Marine turtles.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=11365
|-
|move the turtle
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=11788
|-
|Here are some more interesting bits from interesting facts about turtles.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=11913
|-
|several occasions with the turtle still in c.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=12612
|-
|there is an artist in the bottom of everybody
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=12934
|-
|The number laid by a turtle varies
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=15403
|-
|I have also observed one turtle laying its eggs
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=15411
|-
|I had the pleasure of seeing six little baby turtles come out
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16167
|-
|The turtle commenced to dig at six p.m.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16753
|-
|Five days later a second turtle dug these eggs out arid,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16760
|-
|personally. I do not believe that the turtle digging out.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16768
|-
|turtles a year factoid. Actually just statistical error,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16972
|-
|average person paints zero turtles per year
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16976
|-
|turtles. Georg who lives in cave and eats over 10,000 each day
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=16980
|-
|The young turtles when they make their emergence at the end of three months,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17234
|-
|Do you know what A sea turtle's favorite sandwiches?
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17526
|-
|Just ask the next sea turtle you meet.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17536
|-
|Here are some interesting observations from odd facts about turtles.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17639
|-
|It has been said that the turtle,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17647
|-
|In many ways. The turtle is one or the strangest of living things,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17943
|-
|But the turtle in all his varieties in all his ways is a most mysterious animal.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17961
|-
|Your turtle is neither fish, flesh nor fowl.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=17979
|-
|a little turtle
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=18667
|-
|there is none so tenacious of life as the turtle
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=18986
|-
|Leave the turtle apparently undisturbed
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=18992
|-
|Just as soon as a baby turtle emerges from the egg off he scuttles down to the sea.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=19273
|-
|The young turtle feeds unmolested while his armor undergoes the hardening process
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=19306
|-
|whatever the young sea turtle eats and wherever he eats it
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=19628
|-
|the turtle is free from all danger
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=19915
|-
|interferes with the turtle
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=19924
|-
|Cool facts about turtles from Deutsche Welle.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=20499
|-
|There is a reason why turtles look a little prehistoric.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=20506
|-
|Luckily for the turtles, they're burrowing and water-dwelling habits.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=20527
|-
|While a turtle's lifespan largely depends on the species,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=20926
|-
|A typical pet turtle can make it to anywhere between 10 and 80 years.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=20935
|-
|Researchers think some turtles could even be hundreds of years old.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=20949
|-
|There are currently 356 known species of turtles.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=21629
|-
|There are sea turtles, leatherback turtles, snapping turtles,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=21642
|-
|pond turtles, soft-shelled turtles, and of course tortoises,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=21646
|-
|Not all turtles or tortoises
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22175
|-
|but all tortoises or turtles.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22177
|-
|technically all tortoises are in fact turtles.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22181
|-
|But the main difference between turtles and
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22192
|-
|while most turtles live in or near water
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22198
|-
|Some turtles are vegetarians
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22405
|-
|Most turtles are actually omnivores but a few species
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22409
|-
|Not to the fearsome-looking alligator turtle
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22421
|-
|Even water-dwelling turtles will dig their nests
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22805
|-
|No species of turtle sticks around to raise their young.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=22814
|-
|A turtle's gender is determined by temperature
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23005
|-
|A turtle's gender is determined after fertilization.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23010
|-
|If the turtles eggs incubate below 27.7 degrees Celsius,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23015
|-
|turtles tend to give birth to more females
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23037
|-
|Sea turtles are known for their amazing ability to return
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23182
|-
|turtles can navigate their way at sea by
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23190
|-
|turtles have strong underwater eyesight.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23618
|-
|Although sea turtles are famous for their internal GPS
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23629
|-
|Six out of seven turtle species are classified as
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=23919
|-
|How about some interesting facts from turtle facts by Alina Bradford.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=24214
|-
|turtles are reptiles with hard shells that protect them from predators.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=24221
|-
|Turtles live all over the world in almost every type of climate
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=24233
|-
|the turtle order
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=24479
|-
|turtle,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=24874
|-
|turtles spend most of their lives in water.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25251
|-
|Sea turtles rarely leave the ocean except to lay eggs in the sand.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25260
|-
|Freshwater turtles live in ponds and lakes
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25266
|-
|With so many different types of turtle.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25760
|-
|The largest sea turtle species is the leatherback turtle.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25765
|-
|The largest freshwater turtle in North America is the alligator snapping turtle.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25788
|-
|The Yangtze giant softshell turtle is the largest softshell turtle.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=25799
|-
|A turtle's shell is a modified rib cage and part of its vertebral column
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26177
|-
|All the thoughts of a turtle are turtles and of a rabbit rabbits.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26401
|-
|So let's try to think like a turtle
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26406
|-
|Many turtles are able to retract their heads and feet into their shells,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26450
|-
|turtles are placed in the two sub-orders based on the method of retraction.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26455
|-
|Sea turtles have lost the ability to retract their heads
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26472
|-
|turtles are very adaptive and can be found on every continent except Antarctica.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26676
|-
|Most turtle species are found in southeastern North America and South Asia.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26681
|-
|sea turtles can be found in the coral triangle.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26844
|-
|what do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26976
|-
|a turtleneck
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=26981
|-
|The African helmeted turtle is the most common turtle in Africa,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27157
|-
|roti island. Snake-necked turtles are found only on Rhode island.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27221
|-
|turtles are not social creatures
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27393
|-
|while they typically don't mind if there are other turtles around them,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27396
|-
|Most turtles are active during the day,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27405
|-
|turtles are not silent creatures.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27537
|-
|Most turtles are omnivores.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27961
|-
|musk turtles eat mollusks,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27968
|-
|The cooter turtle is mostly vegetarian
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27973
|-
|and the green sea turtle only eats grasses and algae.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=27976
|-
|The alligator snapping turtle lures in fish with its tongue
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=28293
|-
|crayfish and other turtles.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=28313
|-
|All turtles lay eggs.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=28483
|-
|No species of turtle nurtures their young
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=28493
|-
|turtles reach the age to mate at different times.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=28762
|-
|Male and female turtles intertwined their tails so
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29117
|-
|sea turtles travel from the ocean to lay eggs on beaches.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29387
|-
|sea turtles lay around 110 eggs in a nest
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29392
|-
|Though the flatback turtle only lays 50 at a time
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29396
|-
|the temperature of the sand affects the sex of the turtle.
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29661
|-
|Too many sea turtle females are being born
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29673
|-
|according to the sea turtle. Conservancy
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29679
|-
|Many turtle species are listed as threatened,
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=29984
|-
|I even talked to turtles at times
|https://xkcd.com/2601/radio.mp3#t=32815
|}

==Transcript==
===Comic interface===
:[The comic consists of one radio button, a small circle in the center of a large white panel. It is interactive. When pressing the radio button (selecting it), it turns blue. The second the radio button is pressed a more than 9-hour long audio file of coding instructions begins to play, and a mute button appears in the bottom right corner. It fades slowly into full opacity. Pressing this button will change it to a loudspeaker. It toggles whether there is sound playing or not. It is not possible to shut down the audio by pressing the radio button. Once selected it cannot be deselected as there is only this one option.]

:[Covered by the radio button is an image of a turtle crawling from left to right, with a dotted line trailing behind it, indicating its movement. This image can only be seen by looking in the place where images for xkcd are usually placed on xkcd.]

:'''[The full transcript of the audio file is available on [[2601: Instructions/Audio Transcript]].]'''

===Resulting image===
:[A man with large hair and a beard, meant to resemble Bob Ross, is holding an artist's palette with five patches of paint in one hand and a paintbrush in the other. He looks upon his canvas, where he has painted a large painting.]
:Painter: A happy little tree
:Painter: Holding up a happy little world.

:[The painting contains lots of stuff. Most notably, an enormous tree with a large, flat top grows on the back of a similarly large turtle at the bottom of the painting, the top of whose shell has been replaced with soil. On the tree is a robot that sees Cueball bending down to lift a turtle that is on its back. They talk:]
:Robot: Poor thing!
:Cueball: I'll help

:[In the top right corner, there is a dotted line forming a semi-circle around the corner. Inside this are the words:]
:Vacuum decay

:[There are no other words in the image. The image includes:]
In the sky:
* Mars, including:
** A Mars rover (appears to be Curiosity or Perseverance), which is examining a turtle
** A small rover (appears to be Sojourner)
* The JWST (James Webb Space Telescope)
* The ISS and what appears to be a TIE fighter transiting the sun
* Saturn
* A small planet with a man and a flower (''Le Petit Prince'' by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry)
* A moon of Saturn, with both Cueball and a tiny turtle
* A constellation in the shape of a turtle
* A constellation in the shape of a kite (or a tetrahedron)
* A constellation that appears to be the little dipper (Ursa Minor) stacked inside the big dipper (Ursa Major), resembling a [[:wikipedia:lemon squeezer|lemon squeezer]], next to an object that appears to be half a lemon.
* Cueball playing tennis with incoming meteors
* A rocket
* Three birds
* Two galaxies
* A star which appears to have teleported

On top of the tree:
* Cueball listening to a radio
* Ponytail holding a balloon
* Megan looking over the edge
* A turtle who may have walked a path in the shape of the letters "T" and "Y"
* A squirrel
* A rabbit
* Two happy little trees
* Eight scattered tufts of grass and five scattered rocks
* Mountains in the background, one of which seems to have a gigantic Egg on its top and stairs leading to it, which is likely a reference to the video game {{w|The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening}}.

Under the tree:
* Beret guy looking out of a window in the tree
* Blondie standing at the base of the tree
* One happy little tree on top of the turtle
* Ponytail in a balloon, throwing out an anchor towards the turtle
* A helicopter with a stegosaurus tail (thagomizer)
* Three glass ball ornaments hanging from the tree

==Trivia==
*The Tree being atop a turtle in the finished comic (as well as the general turtle theme) could be a reference to the programming phrase "it's [[1416: Pixels|turtles all the way down]]", which is used to describe infinite recursion. A world atop a turtle (albeit with elephants between) is also a Discworld reference, derived by [[1498: Terry Pratchett|Terry Pratchett]] from the same mythic roots, and something Randall is known to have [[1052: Every Major's Terrible|occasionally]] [[625: Collections|referenced]].

*If you have scripts disabled, you will just see a picture of a [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/archive/e/e3/20220402201427%21instructions.png little turtle] which is not interactive.

*This comic has a [[Header text#Comic-specific header text|unique header text]], see [[Header text#Instructions|the details here]]. The header is:
*:"Today's comic was created with [https://twitter.com/fadinginterest Patrick], [https://twitter.com/Aiiane Amber], [https://twitter.com/chromakode @chromakode], [https://twitter.com/dyfrgi Michael], [https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat], [https://twitter.com/xDirtyPunkx Conor], [https://twitter.com/zigdon @zigdon], and [https://twitter.com/bstaffin Benjamin Staffin]."
:The header had not changed [[Header text#2022-01-31_-_What_if.3F_2|since the promotion]] of the new ''[[What If? 2]]'' book.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]
[[Category:Comics with animation]] 
[[Category:Comics with color]] 
[[Category:Comics with audio]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:The Little Prince]]
[[Category:Giraffes]]
[[Category:Turtles]]